#I feel like this reaction isn’t realistic but idk writing isn’t always about being realistic

[f0point5]

This chapter felt kinda iluminating in many ways...

I have to admit that I had to go back to Max his last text to understand why she wrote her answer the way she did. When I first read his words I didn't even think too much about it. Like I didn't feel it was sulky or anything at first. But her reaction made me realize he probably was. And tbh, after not showing any kind of reaction to her dating someone, his response did stick out and ofc she picks up on it. So he's letting his idgaf attitude slip a little. And it absolutely fits the weekend he's had.

On the other hand I feel like her reacting the way she did was pretty telling too. She knows about the shit weekend he's had. She knows he wants her there. She could have let it slip. But she didn't! She immediately blew it up and made it bigger than she needed to make it. She writes Daniel, tells him about it and says she trusts in them and wants Max to do the same. But does she? To me it all feels like she's just as afraid of any possible change to their relationship as Max is. Maybe that's why she didn't want to tell him at first. It's so freaking good how you change this dynamic between them with tiny baby steps and make it work out so incredibly well. I'm really curious who crumbles first. 😅

It was also rather interesting to have her text Daniel. Lando's been the one she'd confided in with the Thing™️ and now she's casually texting Daniel and talking about a date. Like did she know he knows? Did she tell him? Did she assume he knows because of the gossip? Or was she sure Max said sth?

One thing became perfectly clear to me after that chapter. And maybe I was stupid to not get the notion earlier but... I'd always thought it's Max who's kinda obsessed with her, kinda dependent on her in a way. But really this goes both ways. To me she appeared to be more flippant of things, not less caring, don't get me wrong, but more chill, more layed back, joking with things. I've always understood that she'd do anything for him. But I didn't get the notion that she's just as dependent on him as it's the other way around. Now I do!!!

I think Max was doing a pretty good job playing it cool, until all his fears were realised, after a shitty weekend to boot. He wants her there, he knows she wants to be there, but she (in his mind) is putting the date ahead of that. He’s like, is this the new normal? You can’t come early because of this guy now but next time you can’t come to race weekends because of him, next you’re moving out, where does it end. I think all that went through his head and he just had to detach before he said something he’d regret.

I feel like she isn’t let it slip because in a way, she’s been waiting for this. She’s been waiting for him to have the issue everyone said he would and it’s finally happened. She’s like, ah it’s out in the open now at least.

I think she does have more trust in them, or at least, in their commitment to each other. I don’t think there’s any part of her that doesn’t believe she will always come first to Max. That’s why she brings up the instances where he’s been with other people, not because she’s jealous that those things happen, but because she’s saying “he does all this and I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt he will come back to me and put me first, he needs to trust that I can date/have a boyfriend and he will still come first”. Because yes he was with his gf on her birthday, but he threw her a birthday party, yes he sleeps with girls but he comes home to her, yes he’s messaging people on Raya but she’s the one he calls when he wants to talk. She’s very confident and secure in that bond, and she feels like he should be to that same extent. That said, there’s reasons they have different insecurities (idk if I’ll have time to explore that or even be able to in a realistic way), and she’s not really being as sensitive to that as she could be.

My headcanon is that she mentioned it to Daniel but she never knew that Max had told him first. I think she went to Daniel bc as much as Max and Lando are close, Daniel has been more of a guidance to her and to Max in their younger years. I think she was looking for more of a big brother figure in that moment, and someone who is decidedly more mature than Max to admit that he was acting immature. Maybe even someone to tell her that she was being immature.

I think Max has always come off as more dependent because he is more…maybe anxious in his attachment. But as I said earlier, I don’t think she’s any less attached to him, she’s just more confident. It’s debatable which one of them is more naive. The one who is terrified of change or the one who is adamant nothing will ever change…

[ginnsbaker]

This chapter was so juicy omg lets get straight into it

Agatha literally embodies me 😂 everything shes said i’ve either said or thought. From her saying she never had faith in reader’s relationship with yelena to calling it a rebound. She’s exactly right and i’ll come back to those two quotes a little later. The other thing about sparky being a mastermind is something I genuinely thought earlier on i was like aw damn the dogs bringing them back together but I didn’t say anything and now i really wish i did cos same agatha same 😂

Im gonna speak about wanda briefly here and then I’ll come back to her affer. But in that whole conversation with agatha she’s very mature about the whole thing considering reader kissed her. She’s not getting excited about it out of respect for readers relationship(that’s already over but she doesn’t know that yet) shes also being cautious because of what happened last time with reader.

Im glad Valkyrie apologised and that wanda didn’t string her along honestly did not want another reader yelena relationship for lack of better words.

Vision is gone thank fuck for that he will not be missed.

Natasha. Quite possibly one of the saddest parts of the series. Nothing hurts quite like a friendship breakup between best friends. I said it last time and my views haven’t changed. Nat is supposed to be readers friend, while I completely understand why shes angry it makes sense yelenas her little sister and i get it but reader is also her friend. It a complicated situation because its very difficult to be neutral. Reader shouldn’t have cheated full stop. However, if we’re being realistic some could argue reader has been emotionally cheating since the start considering the love for wanda was always there. But back to my point this relationship should never have happened to begin with or at least not when it did. Yelena shouldn’t have pursued reader and reader shouldn’t have dated her either especially not without having the therapy that is so desperately needed. Im not blaming yelena or saying nat’s reaction is wrong because i truly understand both sides its just really sad that this is how its ended. Im not sure what your plans for nat are for once i genuinely dont have a clue.

I think its very ironic that at the start of this wanda didn’t really have that big a support group but now thats kind of the reverse because reader now has no one. I also think its very like idk what the word is “impactful” i guess that now reader’s lost everyone but wanda is still there for them.

Back to wanda. Idk how to feel because we know what happened to wanda last time they entered this sort of arrangement and i really don’t want it to again because she has made so much progress. On one hand i feel like she won’t let herself go back that far but the ones we love can be our weakness sometimes. And on the other hand it seemed different this time less aggressive like the way reader cushioned wandas head. But one thing I didn’t like was reader leaving with no aftercare i saw someone else say it and I definitely agree. PSA to everyone aftercare is so so so important okay? Good. And i also don’t like Wanda missing therapy because of this arrangement it feels like a step backwards (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing in terms of story writing cos like i said last time recovery is not a linear path and its really validating that you’ve included that)

And finally pietro. Oh dear god the anticipation is killing me. Ive been dying for chapter 17 and its almost here. He knows why wanda missed the sessions (or at least suspects) and i think hes got a picture of wanda in the hospital or maybe after he found her (im not quite sure who found wanda after she overdosed I don’t remember but uno what i mean💀) and hes gonna send it to reader maybe saying back off

I swear im in love with your brain youre incredible I can’t wait for chapter 17

-🧃

Reading your comments/thoughts is always a favorite habit of mine whenever I post an update. Like, srsly dude, I look forward to it.

There's something you highlighted that I did not even intended in the story: I think its very ironic that at the start of this wanda didn’t really have that big a support group but now thats kind of the reverse because reader now has no one. I also think its very like idk what the word is “impactful” i guess that now reader’s lost everyone but wanda is still there for them.

I guess that happened naturally. I mean, when you're maintaining a positive vibe in life and taking care of yourself in general, suddenly there's room for people in you life who also want to share the same outlook in life. You attract good energy. You're able to take care of relationships around you because you're in a good place. I guess that's what happened :)

Yes, aftercare is really important. R is neglecting herself, wasting away, so she really is incapable of thinking about another person's needs at this point.

My mind?? Look at your mind! Look at what you'll think Piet would do O_O

Once again, thank you! I super enjoy reading your points!

#🧃 anon #ilgoss asks

[princesuna]

after catching suna cheating, you slowly move your things out of your shared apartment. everyday, you move just enough stuff out so that he doesn’t notice. telling little lies when you think he’s catching on like “oh I rarely wear these clothes, so I’m thinking about donating it” or “I want to try a new decorating scheme for the wall”. lying to him like he was lying to you.

you don’t confront him about his unfaithfulness. communication is important, but he doesn’t get that after what he’s done. you can’t deal with the confrontation anyways. you don’t want to hear him beg you to stay because you probably will. you don’t want to hear what lies he makes up because you just might believe it. you loved suna that much.

living with him is so hard. you hate kissing him, hugging him, sleeping next to him, it’s absolutely disgusting. you put up a front when he’s there, and cry when he’s not. you are tortured in a place you used to call home. this whole situation is exhausting. “hold out just a little more...” you think to yourself every night before going to sleep.

finally, you leave the apartment with the last of your things and never return, completely cutting him out of your life. gone with the wind as they say. you block his number as well as all his social media and ignore anyone trying to contact you for him. he can search all he wants, but he’ll never find you. suna knows what he’s done, and now has to deal with the consequences.

suna’s POV

#I was lying on my bed looking at my wall and this idea came to my head #I feel like this reaction isn’t realistic but idk writing isn’t always about being realistic #it would take so much strength and patience #but yeah #suna is so dumb for losing you :/ #suna #suna rintaro #suna imagine #suna scenarios #hq suna #suna x y/n #suna headcanons #haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu scenarios #suna x reader #suna hcs #haikyuu suna #suna rintarou #suna angst #hq imagines #hq x you #suna x you #hq x reader #hq angst #haikyuu angst

[shotorozu]

hi!! so um i wanted to request maybe some hc or scenarios about midoriya, shoto and shinsou being loyal? if that makes sense? idk i've just read some angsty fics about cheating todoroki and now i'm sad :(

being loyal

character(s) : todoroki shouto, midoriya izuku, shinsou hitoshi (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name] gender neutral; they/them pronouns, quirk not mentioned

headcanon type : fluff, angst-ish, suggestive but it’s barely there (x reader)

note(s) : first of all, cheater! todoroki isn’t realistic at all in my opinion, even if it’s used as a weapon for other x reader fics. i don’t think todoroki would ever be with someone he didn’t love anymore, especially since that being in a romantic relationship would be a very big step for him, i could go on, but don’t worry about it anon!

no proofread wndnwnw

»»————-　♡　————-««

todoroki shouto

shouto as a lover is interesting. sure, you’ll argue like any normal couple— he’s not the best at understanding what’s wrong sometimes

and occasionally, you’ll have to shove it in his face for him to get the memo

his blunt words don’t help at all sometimes

but, you know one thing that shouto’s not? a cheater.

not even sugar coating it. he’ll never cheat. he loves you too much for him to even be thinking about other people

and i don’t think he’d stay and hurt someone’s feelings, if he felt like he shouldn’t be with them anymore

shouto’s popular, as to be expected. he’s the son of endeavor— who happens to be loaded, handsome, and also equipped with an amazing quirk

there’ll be a handful of people that’ll try to throw themselves at him.

as i’ve mentioned in the pick me girl post, shouto may be unaware about certain things, but as soon as he realizes what they’re trying to do

he won’t be nice, and that cold demeanor of his will come back in a snap. and, he’ll most likely try to leave right away.

like,, a girl could be half naked in front of him, but he wouldn’t even spare a glance at them. they’re not you, because they’re not hot. why does it matter? here’s an example :

random girl : “a man like you wouldn’t mind having a few extra lovers, right? there’s not harm”

shouto : 😐

shouto on the inside : ‘cooking some soba for Y/N would be delightful tonight, wouldn’t it? you should leave before it gets too late.’

he wouldn’t even say goodbye, the look on his face is enough to tell that he’s not at all interested in their advances

after all, you already make him feel complete and so loved🤠 shouto would rather slurp 3 pairs of jeans through a straw than ever think of cheating.

midoriya izuku

it’s not difficult for him to stay loyal either, i mean,, loyalty in a relationship is the bare minimum anyway

all he’s focused on is you, improving and honing his skills, and fulfilling his dreams.

heavens forbid anyone for thinking that he’d ever get with any other person that’s not you

he’s aware that over time, he’s been an unintentional chick magnet— and technically, he’s friendly with everyone excluding bakugou, sorta

but right away, he understands when someone’s trying to get with him

while he might’ve said they were just being friendly before, he recognizes the signs well— considering that he thought YOU were just being friendly

izuku’s not blushy and well,, a mess. he’s still polite, compared to the other two— but, you can tell that he’s losing interest in the conversation that’s rare

but, if a girl’s going to stand in front of him half naked, he’s going to get flustered at first because they’re NEARLY flashing him tf?

and if anyone accuses of him being disloyal, he’ll get offended but mostly sad, because the thought makes him feel utterly sick to the stomach.

oh, and he’ll always make sure to mention you and your existence.

here’s a short example of how he’d be loyal!

random girl : “your quirk’s awesome! our kids would be super powerful ;)”

izuku, knowing well that his kids wouldn’t be able to genetically inherit any quirk of his: “thanks! if Y/N wants to have kids, our kids will be raised well. i appreciate for the compliment!”

random girl : “no, i mean—”

izuku : “it was nice speaking to you :) gotta find my darling now.”

he’ll leave immediately, not even thinking about looking back to see their reaction. he needs to see you

and the first thing he’ll tell you when he sees you is what had just occurred. the feeling in his stomach disappearing when you lend him an attentive ear

shinsou hitoshi

ehh— compared to the other two, he wouldn’t notice right away.

he’ll assume that the people trying to snag him away are just being nice. because of his middle school days, friendliness is still something he’s trying to figure out.

he wouldn’t understand why someone would want to be with him since well,, man’s taken. no one would stoop that low to be a homewrecker

except for a few people, that had no sense of what was right or wrong. they just went for it regardless of his relationship status.

and when he realized what they were after, he’ll deadpan, absolutely uninterested.

compared to todoroki, hitoshi will simply tell them straight to their face that he’s taken, and he’ll just have to hope that they’d get it— and end the conversation in a nice away

but— if they don’t, he won’t hesitate on using his quirk this time. not to harm them of course, but to steer them away

example :

hitoshi : “i’m taken, and very happy with my relationship.”

random girl : “hmm,, but they don’t have to kno—”

and before the pursuer could even finish her sentence, they’re under his quirk, and he’ll demand that she forgets about the encounter, and that she’ll stay away.

because how dare they suggest that you wouldn’t be smart enough to find that out. their desperation makes hitoshi laugh

oh, and hitoshi will definitely shit talk them when he sees you again. he’ll even be so extra about it if he needs to

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

#will delete later?? idk lol #bnha imagines #bnha x reader #mha x reader #mha imagines #bnha x y/n #bnha fluff #todoroki shouto x reader #todoroki x reader #todoroki imagines #todoroki x y/n #midoriya imagines #midoriya fluff #todoroki fluff #midoriya izuku x reader #midoriya x y/n #shinsou imagines #shinsou x reader #shinsou x y/n #shinsou hitoshi x reader #shinsou fluff #no proof read its 4am #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #mha fluff #todoroki x you #midoriya x you #shinsou x you #gender neutral reader

[roonilwazlibimagines]

What are some of your scenarios to fall asleep to? 👀

Ahhhh I’m glad you asked !! Also please feel free to share some of yours they can be specific or vague idc I’m in desperate need

I will be going into heavy detail because I can’t help myself I’m sorry and I will put in both normal ones and Harry Potter ones

Also this is just like one big ramble I’m sorry I got too excited I literally turned into that Tik tok sound where it’s like ‘you’re asking me about my theories? I’ve waited years for someone to ask me about my theories’

Update - I think I’m just going to keep updating this as well when I think of new ones because I keep forgetting some

My most recent one is a royalty one where they’re like royalty but in their really prestigious and royal school they were academic rivals and did not get along and after school they like try to go their separate ways until a couple years later their parents force them into an arranged marriage for like the good of the country or whatever I don’t really care!! You can take it wherever you want from there but in case you were interested in mine he fell for her first and kinda gave up on the enemies thing pretty early on but she still made it clear he wasn’t her favourite person and she despised the situation and there is still constant teasing until she meets his sister or friend or whoever who says that they can’t believe how happy he is with them and she feels so bad because she thinks he deserves better and ends up being much meaner to him because she’s an idiot who can’t express her emotions and he gets angry at her because she’s being super mean after they were just starting to get along and they have a big argument and are forced to talk about their feelings and then I can never decide whether they actually like each other when they get married, I feel like either way is fun

I have a thing for royalty so my other one is literally just princess x stable boy and you can honestly take that wherever you want but I will tell you where I took it for some ✨inspiration✨ so I don’t have my drivers license and get really bad driving anxiety so I self projected and made her terrified of riding horses right (I’m so smart I know) and he is like trying to help her ride the horse and feel comfortable and like obviously they end up in love but I created drama because she sneaks out to his birthday party (!!) but his friends don’t like her because they just think she’ll be a snob but he obviously defends her but like it’s a perfect opportunity for a bit of an innocent princess as well

My personal favourite is the two co stars falling in love and like thinking about doing all those stupid interviews from like buzzfeed and all that and I personally love the trying foods from different places thing (like making them try fairy bread - because I’m from Australia and we aren’t that cultured and being mad when they don’t like it because it is my favourite food) and it’s great because i can make the guy any actor I am currently obsessed with 😭 but also like the red carpet opportunities and interviews and fan reactions and it’s very fun also this keeps my brain very busy because I like making it as realistic as possible and figuring out the actors timeline so I can match the story up with it, it’s always really intense, also if you want inspiration for what moving they’re staring in I always go for the live action version of tangled even if I don’t look anything like rapunzel

Another fun one is where one of them is in a band and you have a friend who is dating one of the other members but you don’t like the band and you’re not shy in letting the other members know that and it turns into an enemies to lovers thing but I haven’t really developed it because halfway through I ended up changing it with the fact that they befriend one of the members and like fall for them but the band member like ‘gets around’ and it makes them jealous until they drunkingly confess it made them jealous this one’s a bit of a mess and is tipping into a 2012 wattpad story but it was how I got back into my 5sos phase two years ago because I felt icky about them but I’m still a slut for Calum 😭

Another one I love is moving abroad to study or whatever (idk I just always need a reason to be in America/Uk because there’s no one here in australia) and you make friends with someone who turns out to be related to someone really famous (insert whoever you want) and you meet them and you think they’re the hottest person you’ve ever seen and you get drunk to gain confidence to talk to them and you’re like unashamedly flirting with them and they think it’s cute and you’re funny but the whole little plot twist is that you don’t know they’re famous (famous people love that, trust me, I have about 10 wattpad stories in my library that can prove this) !! And the don’t believe you don’t know they’re famous !! Anyways I took it in a sugar daddy direction but each to their own!

Specifically for Harry Potter though, you ask?

Currently I am obsessed with Regulus Black and for about the past two weeks I’ve been obsessed with the idea of James potter sibling x regulus black enemies to lovers story and then about a week ago I found an actually good wattpad story about it?!?! (I have recommended it here with warnings but I really encourage you to read it if you’re not a minor) but you can also do your own version because I am still doing my own version and will continue to do my own version tonight even if I am obsessed with the wattpad one !! Currently I am up to post Hogwarts and her and regulus are trying to defeat Voldemort and regulus tells her that Peter is going to betray James and so ofc she tells James but James is like ‘how to do you even know this??’ And he is so afraid and gets angry at her and it’s really dramatic and she tells him she’s dating regulus and then he gets super mad at her because she’s dating like one of the most well known and loyal death eaters (even if regulus is sneakily trying to destroy Voldemort) and because he didn’t tell her and it’s very dramatic

My favourite Sirius black idea is also a James potters sibling one, but I never have any good ideas for it and just end up self projecting so if anyone has any ideas, I am begging you, please tell me !!!

My other Sirius black one is one I’ve been working on for like the last 4 years of my life and I probably should write it but who knows, but basically it’s a 10 things I hate about you x Harry Potter story where reader is about a year or so older than the marauders and she is like Kat Stratford (for people who haven’t watched it the best way to describe her is just an angry early 2000s feminist who is like anti dating and fun (kinda)) but she is Lily Evans sister!! And so Lily gets fed up of James constantly asking her out and makes an offhand comment that she’ll date him when her sister goes on a date with someone and James is like really?!? And Lily is like ‘sure’ because she knows her sister will never date anyone at Hogwarts so James tells the marauders and Remus is like ‘if anyone can take her on a date, it’s Sirius’ and Sirius is like ‘no, I’m stupid but not that stupid’ and James is like ‘please I’ll pay you’ and Sirius is easily bribed so he tries to get her to go on a date with him and like she doesn’t until she does and then finds out he only did it because James paid him but then they fall in love? Basically just 10 things I hate about you lol

My next one is with Draco Malfoy and all it is is that reader comes from a pure blood family and they’ve known each other since they were babies and it’s like basically destined they get married but she gets like really upset when he gets the mark which makes for a good cuddling and crying scene and like idk people are probably more creative than me but I just like reimagining scenes from hp but with this new character so like Poa when she gets angry at him about buckbeak or the bathroom scene (maybe she duels Harry?) and she’s so upset about Draco and comforts him, or helping him in sixth year and comforting him or the quidditch scene in the fifth book (weird note, but I’ve always headcannoned that my original character finds out about dumbledores army but doesn’t say anything and like the da knows she knows but she doesn’t tell Draco or maybe Draco finds out and gets angry at her?)

My other one is another Draco malfoy one where James and Lily live and she’s Harry’s younger sister (and Voldemort isn’t a thing) but like there’s still stereotypes and beliefs and such and like it’s obviously enemies to lovers and maybe they get prefect duties together ? (I am a sucker for this trope in Harry Potter) but then when they do date they try to hide it but Harry finds out but doesn’t say anything until they get into a fight at home and he is like ‘well at least I’m not fucking Draco malfoy behind everyone’s back) (in my head they aren’t fucking because they’re still in Hogwarts but you get the idea) and James and Lily are just like ‘WHAT?!’ Like idk I just think it’s funny imagining James and Lily finding out their kid is dating Draco and Lucius and narcissus finding out Draco is dating a potter - so many possibilities!

Update 6.10.21

I also have one for Charlie Weasley !! And basically you’re friends with the twins and like you go your whole Hogwarts life with the biggest crush on Charlie but like he low key doesn’t even know who you are and you want to become a healer and then after Hogwarts there is a position in Romania and you take it because you know Charlie’s there and at first he is like hmmm I think I know you and you explain you’re friends with the twins and obviously he falls in love with you I also took it in a nsfw direction where it’s like major innocence kink because Charlie is just such a dom to me and he like teaches you everything but he makes sure you’re happy and safe and it’s not really like serious sex you’re both just having fun and he kinda introduces you to dom/sub dynamics but you can do whatever is most comfortable

#I’m probably going to regret posting this #it’s a mess #but let me know if you do actually use any of them and how you change the story #and please feel free to share some of yours because I am running out of scenarios 😭😭 #scenarios

[sour-n-salty-citrus]

Do you like the backstory for rick? Idk I kinda preferred it when Rick's past was a complete mystery and i dont really care about diane at all. I didn't expect the writers to actually write a canon for him either but I guess they realised how much the audience wanted one for him

Ajdjdjeidjs ack, I'll be honest I'm not... keen on it.

(Bolly-quinn actually puts it into words well how I feel about Rick's backstory here)

I liked the mystery element of his backstory! I know it's always exciting to have things in canon, but like... it being open to interpretation was something I always appreciated.

And... ugh, hoo boy. I'm torn. I mean, I love that Rick is completely different from what dudebros and like- "high iq" redditors present him as. He's a man who loved his wife and daughter, loved them so much he would rather give up travelling the multiverse, becoming a genius scientist, just to stay with them. He was vulnerable, soft, and caring. He wasn't nihilistic and reckless and selfish and some "alpha male who wouldn't let anything tie him down". He was ridiculously romantic, optimistic, sweet and loving, and maybe even kind.

And I don't give a shit.

I don't! I don't care. This might sound incredibly cruel and unfair, but I don't care that Rick lost his family.

Ok- let me explain.

I'm... disappointed. I'm disappointed that losing Beth and Diane is all it was that made Rick into the complete and utter monster he is today (or the start of the series anyway). I don't mean to undermine his loss and grief- at all! It's just... for him to go on a (seemingly decades long) killing spree, slaughtering any version of himself he seemed to come across... christ. Maybe in his eyes, they were all as bad as that One. Which is understandable. I'm very lucky to have not experienced that kind of loss. I haven't had to Grieve the way Rick did. Maybe I just don't get it, because I've never felt it. That's fair.

It just felt... god, I don't want to say excessive. I know, people process grief in different ways, and for some it manifests in unhealthy ways, some lash out at the world, fixate on trying to find an explanation, to find justice, etc. And I like how Rick was an absolute inconsolable wreck at first. Something like that, it needs time to process and overcome before you can start moving again.

I just- I don't know. Something rubbed me the wrong way about it all.

It's like- it's not that I wanted Rick to have spent all that time partying or something. It's just- argh, i don't know! Maybe someone else can put it into better words lol.

I hate that he immediately jumped into not giving a single shit about other people (save birdperson and squanchy!). Like- when he blew up those aliens who gave him whatever it was he needed. Ah- ok, they probably weren't exactly innocent or anything, but still. I think it was just I felt if we ever saw Rick's backstory, I'd want it to be a slow decline into who he is, show him gradually losing so much of his morality and becoming so jaded. Idk i guess i just wanted it to be like, a series of significant (and lesser but still important) events that lead to him going down that path rather than- this ONE thing that just apparently completely ruined him? And yeah ik ik it was a BIG thing, but like- i guess i was expecting.... more? Maybe something like idk Rick trying to save all the other Beths and Dianes and failing, idk, just... something more.

I actually would have preferred it if Diane lived. I dont know, I just- man I really hate the dead wife/daughter turns ordinary man into callous asshole trope. I agree, it's hard to really care all that much for Diane, and for a while I couldn't understand why. I thought, idk, is it internalised misogyny? Do I just not like Diane because I want to ship Rick with someone else?

I think I get it now. Diane, for all her significance in Rick's backstory, just... isn't a character. She's just- the motivation Rick needed to kick off the story. You could replace her with literally anybody else Rick could have loved and it wouldn't feel any different. She just doesn't feel special. She's no more unique than any other Dead Wife. We get nothing, literally nothing of her. I kept thinking, why? Why does this just not hit that hard? Rick's had emotional moments with Beth, with Birdperson, even with Summer and Jerry. And then I got it- it doesn't feel earned. It felt like how you feel when you see side characters or extras in the background of an action movie die. Maybe some faint sadness, but mainly nothing. We as an audience get nothing from Diane, we don't know her, don't get to see how she matters to Rick, don't get to see her relationship with Rick, we don't get any chance to connect with her character. So when she dies and Rick gets his montage of seeking revenge, it doesn't feel earned. It feels more like I'm being told about how this guy suffered than really seeing it (which i believe, may have been the writers intention actually...). It's kind of like a feeling of "damn that sucks bro... and?". There's no real heavy emotional response that I could really get from it...

I actually would have preferred if Rick and Diane broke up, divorced. I feel like that would offer so much more for them BOTH as chatacters. Instead of their relationship being happy and sunshine and rainbows until a Big Bad came in and took that away, I'd prefer it if Rick's downfall was just... his fault. (Actually His fault.) If his marriage fell apart because he couldn't make it work. If he estranged his daughter because he couldn't properly handle fatherhood, despite loving her. If he was flawed, terribly flawed, because of his own misjudgement and shortcomings. I guess my biggest problem, is that this is presented as someone having the perfect life, which is then taken away as a result of someone Else. It's too easy to then say, oh, it's not his fault he's like that! He had his heart broken, his life ruined! He lost himself in a revenge spree, poor thing... I'd have rathered if it was just a little bit more... realistic? If Rick had been the root cause of his own problems. If he'd experienced tragedy, but also been the cause of much more. I just wish there'd been more of a balance? It just felt so rushed. And not because of the montage- it just like Rick became completely apathetic way too fast. I just hate hate HATE the "he was a good guy with the perfect little life until tragedy struck and he was never the same". Rick never made the effort to improve his life, to do better, to be better. He's actively a cruel, callous, unkind person (complex, yes, but these are traits no one can deny he harbours). He's done far worse than was done to him, and that will never be justifiable to me... it just all feels so very cliche and out of place, and out of everything, this was the one thing I had hoped they wouldn't do.

I think the writers are aware of this, strangely enough. I mean, Rick even calls it his "crybaby backstory". I think they didn't want to leave it open any longer, and just got it out of the way. I don't think they really want to elaborate on it anymore. From what I predict, they want to focus on the here and now of Rick (and Morty, haha), and the development of who Rick is NOW, instead of who he WAS. I think they kind of just went, here's your gut-punch, your tragic backstory, now leave it alone. Diane is dead, Rick had a hard past, the series is about moving on and change. Now can we PLEASE get back to the sci-fi shenanigans?

(There was something I LOVED about the backstory though, and that was the soundtrack! Like the music for the Battle of Bloodridge, it fucking SLAPPPEDDDD. I can't imagine making synthwave emotional, but it actually kind of worked! The swell of the music actually did a lot more for getting a reaction out of me than the content lmaooo. It kind of reminded me of Kurzegast's "optimistic nihilism" for some reason... I actually liked the Bloodridge track so much, it got me a little into synthwave, which i never listened to before! The music producers this season have just KILLED IT!)

#citrus speaks #long #ajdjsjdhaj im sorry i just have so many Thoughts on this #as critical as it sounds i promise i dont hate it that much #rant #is this a rant? it sounds like one akdnaja #RaM #Rick and Morty spoilers #rick and morty #RaM S5 finale

[c-is-for-circinate]

So as close as I am to fully escaping Hades for the first time, I figure I might take this opportunity to write down a couple of things I'm scared of from this ending. The story is so good so far! But I have seen good stories before! And there are patterns, right, patterns it's so easy for even good stories to fall into, so yeah, I have fears, and they mostly come down to Hades himself.

(Yep, this one got long again! People seem to be enjoying my game-reaction rambles, so, for your enjoyment under the cut: themes of separation and reunion, predictions for what Zagreus is the god of, and a whole lot of discussion of familial abuse dynamics, how they're depicted in fiction, and the work it takes to change them in real life. Stay warned! Stay safe!)

(ALSO, I still haven't made it past the first couple of chambers in the Temple of Styx, so no spoilers in the reblogs/comments please! Yes, even though the whole post is me going on about predictions and hopes and concerns about the path the story might take. I WILL GET THERE SOON.)

It has been really interesting watching some of the stuff the game is doing with themes of parting and reunion, and how that corresponds to life and death. So many of our social links are about reuniting estranged loved ones: Chaos and Nyx, Eurydice and Orpheus, Patroclus and Achilles. Hades is estranged from Olympus, Persephone left. And every time we leave, or try to leave, it is both an attempt at a parting (and Meg and Than are so hurt by that goodbye, or lack thereof) and an attempt at a reunion with our mother. Every time we die it's a reunion, every time we die it's fun, it's great, we get to go back home and check in with all of our friends and be impressed by whoever made Employee Of The [Timeperiod] and sell fish to the cook and put down yet more rugs. (My Zagreus has something of a rug addiction. What can you do.)

It's at the point where I feel pretty secure in stating that Zagreus is going to discover eventually that he is both life/death/rebirth god, and god of partings and reunions. Both halves of both of those things. People leave each other when they die and re-find their loved ones in death; you go away from one group of people to come back to another; you have to depart to return, and I really think that's where we're going to end up with Zagreus. He's going to reunite his various friends with their loved ones, he's probably going to restore communications between Hades and Olympus and even Persephone, he's going to reunite with his mom, and he's going to come back to the Underworld before he leaves to see everyone up top all over again. And of course the vehicle for all of this coming and going is death, because death is the ultimate departure and reuniter. (This is absolutely a religious concept containing a whole bunch of "oh hey our culture has a lot of Christian influence, doesn't it", Greek trappings aside, but that's fine, it's a game made in 2018 not 300 BC, these things happen. They keep calling the Underworld 'hell' and 'infernal'. It's all good.) Of course he's a cthonic god. Of course he bleeds, because you have to bleed in order to die, and Zagreus has to die again and again and again. That's his whole thing.

Thing is, though, looking at those themes, I am also continually aware of the fact that some partings are for a really good reason. Some partings should not end in reunion.

Yes, of course this is about Hades the abusive dad. I have been talking about Hades the abusive dad basically non-stop since I started playing this game, where did you think this post was going.

There are a few things I'm nervous about, separate but related, and at the core it all comes down to, I'm not okay with it if we learn why Hades got to be this way, and Zagreus forgives him as we-the-audience are meant to do, and Hades promises to do better, and nothing concrete about the situation is forced to change. Actual, meaningful, practical, logistical, non-hypothetical non-metaphorical change, not just for Zagreus but for Hades himself.

Because I know how this story tends to go, in fiction. Fictional abusive parents (especially in fantasy/sci-fi stories) tend to come in two types: 'coerced their offspring into actual murder with a side of physical abuse and optional unethical lab experimentation', or 'this was here to create character conflict, we didn't mean for it to read as actually abusive, this parent just has flaws to make them a good character, we swear!' Hades isn't the first type--we have never once seen Hades strike his son, or anybody, or even come out from behind his desk--which means that the fear is, always, always, in every piece of fiction, that he's the second. That the writers are going to decide that the right response to his abuses is remorse, forgiveness, and one really good conversation. That they don't realize it's abuse in the first place.

And, like. They have to know, right? They have to. They can't have done this by accident. (Sometimes, writers get so close by accident.) They can't have done so well at drawing out this situation simply by going, 'well, people are meant to fear this god, so they'd probably react like this, and I guess based on what I've seen in other stories or vague acquaintances they'd then do this,' and never put the name on the situation. Every single time we leave to the tune of a Hades word-flash, he's being dismissive, insulting, and sometimes downright cruel. He is cruel. They have to know!!!

But oh boy have I been consuming media for a lot of years, and oh boy have I run into a lot of writers who don't know.

Reconciliation is such a loaded word, but stories about dysfunctional families really do love it. Stories based around themes of reunion are primed for it. And of course, it's nice, it ties a happy ending off with a sweet little bow, everyone gets to be with the people they love and the family is safe and nobody gets hurt, but so rarely have I seen stories that show the actual work required to rebuild those relationships in a realistic or meaningful way. So rarely do stories trying to build that happy ending actually let the victim of abuse set and maintain boundaries. The character never gets to actually just cut the damn ties to the thing that hurt them. The character so rarely even gets to be safe.

And it's so hard in this game specifically, because "THERE IS NO ESCAPE", because every single thing about this game says that the story's not over when Zagreus gets to the surface, that no matter what he's going to have to come back. It's so hard, because this is a game about reunions. I am not going to get an ending where the abused kid trying to flee his toxic home and abusive dad actually gets to leave and stay gone, not in this one. And that hurts (I have watched and supported and done my best to help multiple real-life friends get the fuck out of homes like that, and stay gone, I have seen how hard it is, how complicated, how awful, and there are never stories for that), but I can live with it, if I get an ending where Zagreus is at least safe. Where things change. Where they really change.

Which is why I need actual, concrete, material changes in the logistics and power structure of the Underworld for this ending to be okay. Understanding why Hades is Like That doesn't cut it. Remorse doesn't cut it! Because look, even if Hades wants to do better, even if he admits he's at fault and tries to be better, he is still set up in a position as an all-powerful tyrant, and trying to become a better person is hard. There is nobody around who can keep him in check when he starts backsliding, which he will. Even if he doesn't want to, he will.

Because people are people, and it's really difficult to break patterns! Especially if everything around them stays the same. Hades is going to slip at some point, be cruel, be callous, be tyrannical, no matter how much of an effort he's making. Not to mention, it is STRESSFUL to face your own crimes and improve, it sucks, it feels bad. And what do habitual abusers do when they feel bad? What's the only coping mechanism Hades appears to have established for dealing with his own shit? That's right, it's inflicting suffering on everyone else around him. (This is why it doesn't really matter what circumstances drove Hades to act this way, why it can't matter--I believe that he is suffering, but he copes with that suffering by inflicting additional suffering on everyone around him, everyone who relies on him, and that's still true no matter what made him feel bad to begin with.) So then we just get a great old guilt-->lashing out-->more guilt-->more lashing out merry-go-round of abuse even as Hades is trying to change. That's how these things work. And yes, change is possible, improvement is absolutely possible, but the environment needs to change first. The system that enables and rewards Hades for acting this way can't stay in place. Things need to actually change, with people who are around to support Hades in his growth and also check his power, people who have power of their own to stop him. And however it happens, for this story with this protagonist with these goals to feel like a happy ending, Zagreus needs to be safe.

It would be okay, though a little disappointing, if those changes were mostly based in magic and fate and, idk, divine mind-control. (This story has been so grounded in actual human dynamics that a fantastical solution to a realistic problem would feel like a letdown, but if it actually solved the problem I'd be okay with it, more or less.) It would be okay, though a little disappointing, if the responsibility for bringing Hades to heel fell upon Zagreus and Persephone, if the two family members who he hurt badly enough that they felt the need to run away from him entirely now had to shoulder the burden of helping him fix himself. (There are definitely ways to write that dynamic better and ways to write it worse, and I think I trust these writers to land on the 'better' side of the scale, but I still don't love the implications.) I think I'd be pretty into it if Hades took a vacation off to Olympus to Work Out His Shit with his own family, while a coalition of Meg, Nyx, Thanatos, Zagreus, and Queen Persephone took over running the Underworld in his absence. I think we might end up getting some combination of those things. I'm hopeful. I think these writers might know what they've written. I think they might have a sense for what it'll take to fix.

But yeah, I'm nervous. (Nervous enough that I might switch to God Mode just to get through, combat has started getting really tedious instead of fun, I want to know what happens next, and this is a game and there is no shame in making it more fun for myself by making the boring parts a little quicker and easier.) I've seen so many stories go wrong. This one has done so much to earn my trust. We'll see if it breaks.

#Hades game #Hades spoilers #driveby meta attack #C plays stuff #I have so much hope!!!!~! #I have so much fear!!!!! #DO NOT TELL ME WHAT THE ANSWER IS GOING TO BE!!!!!

[igarbagecannoteven]

2021 Writing Self-Evaluation

thank you hazel ( @allsassnoclass ) for tagging me for this!! 😊 putting the answers under a read more bc y’all know my answers will be not be consise lol

1. number of stories posted on ao3: 7 :))

2. word count posted for this year: 20,232

3. fandoms i wrote for: i’ve only posted 5sos fic, but i have worked on/fiddled with a couple of old hp wips this year!

4. pairings: i’ve only posted cake, malum, mashton, and lashton, but i did finish a fic for every pairing (not including ot3/ot4) this year!

5. story with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments: the answer to all three of those is by far don’t let me drown in my mind! i could delve into the reasons why i think it’s my most popular but the night is not-so-young and also that’s not the question lol.

6. work i’m most proud of (and why): oh goodness that’s a hard one! i’m proud of everything i’ve posted for various reasons (i wouldn’t have posted them if i wasn’t) but i think today i’m particularly proud of we gotta make a decision (leave tonight or live and die this way) for a lot of reasons. it’s set in an au that i have much bigger plans for and i love the characters so much, which in some ways made it a lot more difficult to write and stressful to post bc i wanted it to do well. while it’s set somewhere very similar to where i was born, it deals with a lot of things that i have zero experience in, and i think i pulled them all off semi-decently! also, this grew a *lot* from the first draft to the final one (mostly thanks to the fact that i turned in a het version for my prose class and used their critiques to shape the fic lol) and i’m very proud of the way i was able to take the notes i was given and make a much better work because of them. i think it’s leaning toward more of my “literary” style instead of my fic style which is my only quibble with it, but i think that works for the content of the fic.

7. work i’m least proud of (and why): most of the works i’m not proud of have not seen the light of day tbh. every work over 1k that I’ve posted is the result of weeks of stressing and editing and pulling my hair out because i really do my best to make sure i don’t post something i’m going to regret lol. that being said,,, i do wish that if i bleed you’ll be the last to know was just a touch more polished. like, it has a lot of stuff i’m proud of and i think overall it’s a decent fic, but i’m not confident that the pacing is up to scratch and the ending isn’t the best, although i always struggle with endings. but i do love it! and it’s really not bad! i’m just very picky lol. beyond posted work, i’m not proud of how many wips are less than a quarter done. i’ll be the first to admit i’m a slow writer and i do try to keep my expectations of myself realistic, but i do think i could have gotten more done.

8. share or describe a favorite review you received: i’ve recieved several reviews that i carry with me in a special box next to my heart so it’s really hard to choose! i will say that when i sent bella the doc for don’t let me drown in my mind asking her to beta read and her first reaction was something along the lines of “i’m so relieved you’re a good writer” was really affirming to me because i am a little insecure about my writing and that felt like a very honest comment bc idk about everyone else but i’ve def had the feeling of like, reading someone you know’s writing for the first time with your fingers crossed chanting under your breath “please be good” bc it’ll be so awkward if it’s not dsjflkdsjf so yeah it just gave me that moment of like “okay i’m not a shitty writer” lol. honorary mention to helen sending me a message about a specific line in what if i’m weak (and i need you tonight) bc when i received the notification i’m pretty sure i actually squealed kjsdflkjdslkdsjf

9. a time when writing was really, really hard: writing is tremendously hard for me about 90% of the time, and i mean miserable, pulling-my-teeth-out hard lol. (don’t ask me why it’s my main hobby because i still don’t know how to answer that lol) writing seeing things in a different light was especially stressful though because it was my first time writing for someone else and when that someone is as talented as adri that makes it extra scary lol. it was also my first time writing fic on a deadline, which mean it was the first time since middle school i was expected to have a final draft at a specific date (most creative writing classes only ask for your next draft, not necessarily your last). it was also my first foray into fluff, *and* my first time writing something that would only really work as a fanfic, so there were a lot of learning curves. but i’m pretty proud of the finished result, and adri left a lovely comment on it that i go back to whenever i need a pick me up, so it was definitely worth it!!

10. a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: i know i legit just posted this but i did not expect to write a bee au. like, i know i love a hyper-specific au but that’s a bit much even for me ksjdfljdskfj also the fact that the bigger au for we gotta make a decision features a subplot revolving around the opioid crisis is insane. like what was i thinking when i made that decision. (i know what i was thinking but still. craziness.) 

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing: listen. on a craft level i find this to be one of the most heavy-handed things i’ve written, like i really stretched this in a way i maybe shouldn’t have. it is not something i’d ever include in a work for class. however. i am so in love with the dissected frog metaphor in if i bleed you’ll be the last to know it was just so fun to write and while i’d probably dislike it if someone else wrote it, it makes me smile just thinking about it. part of me says not to quote it here but as a treat for myself here it is:

Calum felt like a dissected frog, like his insides were all neatly lined up on the table on top of his English notes, each organ pinned with a little label. If it were anyone else seeing his guts laid out in the open, he was certain he would start desperately attempting to shove them all back in, not even caring if they went in the correct spot as long as they were safely hidden again, but since it was Michael, there was no surge of fear. He knew Michael would gently put everything back in its proper place, that he wouldn’t take pictures or type up a research article. Calum never would have thought it was possible to feel safe inside-out if he hadn’t met Michael.

12. how did you grow as a writer this year? i posted my first ever fanfic! i *finished* my first ever fanfic!! i’d never actually finished a work of fiction before this year, can you believe it? never reached that final draft. and now i have! multiple times!! wtf!!! i also think my decision in august to hold off on posting fic and instead squirrel them away until i get 24 complete fics was a big moment for me. like i said before, writing doesn’t actually bring me a lot of joy, so it’s important to me that i make sure the parts that *do* make me happy continue to do so, and my hope is that this challenge thingy will help me do that. i’m very proud that i was able to recognize the way posting fic was starting to turn sour and nipping it in the bud before it could do that.

13. how do you hope to grow next year? hopefully finish more fics! i think that writing is very much one of those skills where the only way to get better is to do so, and i’m hopeful that my writing will continue to improve as i go. i’d also like to stop comparing my writing process to other writers. it can be hard to be a slow writer in a fandom where so many great authors can churn out longer fics in a matter of weeks or even days and still have the work be amazing, and it’s also hard when you’re someone who takes multiple drafts to get a fic where it needs to be when there are people who can ace it on the first draft. i’d really like to shed that habit of thinking of my writing process in comparison of others but instead simply in comparison of my past self. also, on a less writer-y note, i’d like to get better at leaving comments on fics i enjoy! part of the reason i don’t comment very much is because it does take a certain amount of spoons to do so, but there are also other reasons that i’m going to try to get out of the way. january is apparently a month where some people try to comment on every fic they read so i may try to do that! 

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc)? i mean i can’t *not* mention the fantabulous @clumsyclifford because not only is she the reason that i started writing for this fandom, she’s also a wonderful beta and so so good about me randomly talking to her about my fic problems, even if it’s for a work that’s really not her thing. also hazel has been so encouraging and kind about my writing and is *also* a great beta as well as someone who shares my excitement for niche aus!

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? yep! i really did cut a watermelon in half with an oyster shell for seeing things in a different light (sometimes research can be fun!) and i’ve also written two fics heavily inspired by my hometown (seeing things in a different light and we gotta make a decision) *and* there’s don’t let me drown in my mind whose first 1k is very heavily inspired by real events. like, i changed some of the things i was freaking out about but all of the descriptions and intrusive thought/executive dysfunction stuff was written from memory. 

16. any new wisdom you can share with other writers? join an irl writers/critique group that isn’t mainly for fic. no, i’m not saying this for some elitist reason or just because i love critique groups (okay, maybe a little for that last reason), but because it’s just a very different experience than having beta readers or people in your doc. i’m of the firm belief that listening to other’s work being critique can help you with your own, and i also think that critique groups are more likely to tell you if something needs a more drastic change. beta-ing and having people in your docs has a lot of positives, many of which you won’t necessarily get in a critique group, but getting critiques irl can offer you lots of positives as well. it doesn’t have to be one or the other! and you don’t have to disclose that you write rpf; i definitely don’t! finally, i do think that writing and critiquing are two separate skills, and if you want to build up your critiquing muscles you’ve got to exercise them (not that you have to if you don’t want to! there are plenty of brilliant writers who are terrible at critiques and there are some mediocre writers that are great at critiques, you don’t need one to do the other.)

17. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? so many it’s actually ridiculous. i would commit actual crimes to finish tis the damn fic this year, i started it in february and it is still no where near done and while i am absolutely in love with the characters and the world i just want it all to be on the page so i can share it with people already!! my new year’s resolution is actually to make some major headway on my fic challenge, and while i doubt i’m going to reach 24 i’d like to get semi-close. 15? 20? among those, i’m looking forward to several 5(ish)+1 fics i’ve got sizzling (faking the moonlanding au, mer!ashton au, another crackfic i won’t spoil), plus i’d love to finish up/start some more driving is for lovers fics because my brand is not going to make itself :)) 

18. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: i’m not sure if other people have tagged new people (that makes zero sense but hopefully y’all know what i mean lol) so i’ll just tag a few peeps: @cringeycal , @pixiegrl , @werewolfashton , @valiantnerdtm , @burstingsunrise , @kaleidoscopeminds , @tirednotflirting , and anyone else who wants to! (and if i tagged you and you don’t want to that’s totally fine! it’s not obligatory!)

#this was fun :))) #my inability to shut up is shining through once again kdjsflkjsd #sorry for the mini rant about critique groups i just really love them #i was talking with my mom the other day about the way critiquing and writing are two separate skills and how my creative writing profs #generally don't teach the best ways to critique which is such a shame #like i doubt most of the undergrads have heard of the sandwich method which is just such a basic thing #if i end up being a ta again i think i'll ask my prof if i can do a little thing about critiquing and the way to get the most out of it #i'm not sure he'll say yes though #anyways! #oh my gosh it's 4:40 already wtf #i need to go to sleep #tag game #the trash talks #fingers crossed i didn't mess up any links

[foilfreak]

BEAUTY AND HER BEAST: Chapter 8

WARNING PLZ READ BEFORE CONTINUING: This fic is rated NSFW and contains graphic depictions of things some people may find disturbing or alarming, including, but not limited to: violence, gore, unhealthy family relationships, Oedipus complexes, gratuitous amount of pornographic literature, ableist language, physical, mental, and emotional abuse, etc. If you are someone who does not enjoy fiction with these elements in them, then I suggest you refrain from reading this, because this fic will have all that, and probably a lot more. So, this is your first and final warning to turn around and go somewhere else if stuff like this just isn't your vibe, because from this point forward, your emotional wellbeing is in your own hands, and I will not be accepting blame if you disregarded my warnings and ended up reading something you didn't like. Idk why I feel compelled to write one of these despite this being Resident Evil fanfic, but I figured I'd cover my ass just in case.

(AO3 Link Below:)

Several days had passed since Salvatore had sought out both his younger sisters, requesting items like jewelry or clothing they’d be willing to part with that Salvatore could gift to Nadine, as a sort of soft and informal introduction to ease the young woman’s mind and prove he meant her no harm.

The plan seems to be going rather well, as far as Salvatore can tell. Nadine found the gifts he’d laid out for her rather easily, and even correctly wondered if the person who lived here had left them for her purposefully. She seemed wary of the items for a time, though she seemed pretty wary of everything in the reservoir at the moment, but eventually she deemed them safe enough to accept, throwing the long white nightgown Salvatore had procured from Donna over her petit azure frame, and strapping the delicate golden locket Alcina had graciously donated around her neck.

Salvatore practically drooled when he first saw Nadine, slightly sheer satin nightgown flowing elegantly in the gentle afternoon breeze and golden chain glittering beautifully against her white speckled, ocean blue skin. She looked like a goddess, a true figure of pure ethereal power and beauty. Even the biting cold of winter wasn’t enough to touch the young woman, shielded and protected by her own glowing radiance.

Despite looking every bit like an other-worldly deity worthy of unending human devotion and worship, Nadine’s face held nothing but fear, anxiety, and loneliness as she aimlessly wandered the seemingly empty docks and windmills surrounding the reservior’s watery interior. An occasional dejected “hello?” still echoes out throughout the reservoir every few hours, growing less and less hopeful with each passing round of silence Salvatore spends hiding away from view.

The disfigured man’s heart twists and stabs in pain every time he cowers away from Nadine’s soft, anxious calls, desperately wanting to comfort the young woman in her moment of confusion and fear, but still so terrified of her inevitable reaction to his appearance that he finds himself unable to do anything but skitter shamefully to his room beneath the surface and try to drown her out with one of his old romance films.

How pitiful.

Salvatore spends much of his time lamenting and pitying himself over his soul crushing loneliness and his intense desire for a love of his own, and yet here he is, taking refuge in an old romance film while he hides himself away from the real woman he could be making his own romance film with, were he not a massive coward and a horrific freak of nature unworthy of anyone’s love and affection, of course. What a cruel irony it is, to have the one thing you want, more than anything else in the world, dangled just inches in front of your face, and yet knowing, before you’ve even tried, that it’ll never be yours.

Salvatore knows that no matter how much of a romance story this whole situation might seem like, Nadine will never be able to love him in the way the gorgeous women in the movies love their tall, dashing, dark-haired lover men. Not only was Salvatore the exact opposite of tall and dashing by literally everyone’s standards, but his patches of dry, greasy dark-hair did little to salvage the violent wreckage that was Salvatore’s whole appearance.

There was absolutely no way Nadine would ever be able to love someone as hideous as Salvatore, so perhaps the best thing to do would be to contact Miranda and inform her that, while he greatly enjoyed his gift, Salvatore didn’t feel he would be able to appreciate her in the way she deserved to be appreciated in all her beauty and wonder, and that perhaps it would be better for Mother Miranda to find better arrangements for her elsewhere.

“I-it’s for the b-best… i-i think… a-after all… Nadine… d-doesn’t want t-to live i-in a d-dingy place… l-like this for… for the r-rest of h-her… l-life… m-much less with… w-with someone l-like me… s-she’d hate th-that… im c-certain” Salvatore laments aloud, dipping his head downward as tears of painful realization and sorrowful acceptance pour down his face like waterfalls of lonely depression, already fully set on contacting Mother Miranda as soon as morning came.

“While it's very kind of you to keep my best interest in mind, I do think I am more than capable of making my own decisions regarding what’s the best place for me, thank you very much” a soft voice responded suddenly, causing Salvatore’s head to whip in the direction the sound was coming from in startled shock. “This place is a little rundown, sure, but the windmills still stand tall and the water is always just the right temperature, so I don’t think this would be the worst place to live, if I had to… so long as I wasn’t alone, at least.”

Even in the dimly lit area located at the end of the hallway, Nadine still looked so gorgeously stunning and elegant. It was incredible how she managed to sound so casual and yet look so ethereal.

In the brief moment before his panic set in, Salvatore couldn’t help but pause and marvel at the spot down the hall where the young woman stood, her gaze locked directly onto him and yet she showed no signs of having seen him. She even went as far as to begin moving about behind the large boards that blocked her from entering the room, clearly trying to get a better look at the room and, more importantly, the person she suspects is in it.

After a surprisingly large jump that launched Nadine all the way up to the ceiling, just narrowly avoiding hitting her head, Salvatore’s eyes grew wide and his mouth hung open in stupefied shock as the sight of Nadine, moving the way she was at the end of the hallway, brought to Salvatore’s mind a scene from one of his favorite romance films. In the particular scene Salvatore is thinking of, the actress’ character is an aspiring prima ballerina, and she’s having a brief moment of bonding with her fellow ballerina’s after a long, but successful performance. Dressed in a nightgown not too unlike the one Nadine is currently wearing, the ballerina is showing the others how to do other kinds of dance, like polka or Irish step dancing, but by the end of the scene the group of ballerinas are all merely jumping about the room excitedly, laughing and cheering while carelessly throwing themselves into the air, only to land gracefully back on their feet.

While not exactly the same obviously, the resemblance between Nadine and the absolutely stunning ballerina in the movie, in both silhouette and style of movement, was almost uncanny.

Stretched out as high as her short legs would allow, strong and gorgeously defined muscles flexed almost instinctually with every rapid twist, curl, bend, and jump of the young woman’s tiny body. Her lucious silhouette was only aided by the feminine aura of the long, sheer nightgown as it trailed after her with every movement. The delicate satin material caresses the sharp ridges of her muscular back and shoulders with the same tenderness and love as it does the weight of her breasts or the pillowy layer of protection atop her midsection. The lower half of the nightgown, cinched just below the breasts, twisted and jerked in whatever direction was necessary to keep up with the speed at which Nadine was fluttering and jumping about upon the tips of her toes. Her legs were hidden by the ferocious speed of her movements, but Salvatore did not need to see her legs to have some idea of what they were, or perhaps merely could be, capable of.

Whether or not Nadine was actually a ballerina herself, or if Salvatore’s delusions were merely that realistic now, the young woman appeared to move with nothing but effortless grace that hides the raw power and physical strength it takes to float as carelessly and as quickly as the young woman was, clearly growing more and more frustrated the longer her search failed to reveal what she was looking for.

Still paralyzed by the sudden presence of Nadine in his personal space, Salvatore could do nothing but hold his breath and hope that the light at the end of the hall didn’t reach far enough to reveal his presence in the room. The TV was still on, but the movie playing on it had finished running long ago, meaning the only thing being displayed now was a static filled screen that proved someone had been here at some point in time, but thankfully wasn’t a dead giveaway from the start.

“Helloooooooo… I heard someone talking on my way in, so I know that someone is down here. Please… just come out, ok… I won’t hurt you… honestly” the raven haired woman begs softly, her movements slowing a bit to allow more of her air to be used for speaking rather than jumping to look over beams over and over again.

Salvatore’s heart ached at Nadine’s desperate tone, knowing all too well what the mutant woman is going through right now, but trying his best to remain strong, since giving in means dooming this perfect young specimen to a life of bitter misery and unending terror, regardless of the best effort he’d try to put in. Whatever short term gain Nadine could get from being with him would only come back to bleed her dry once Salvatore was sufficiently attached, and therefore unable to allow her to leave once she inevitably decides that she’s had enough of pretending to love a disgusting freak of nature.

Salvatore had never been very good at accurately predicting the outcomes of situations, but he knew for certain that Nadine was in no way deserving of the hellish punishment that living in the reservoir with him would undoubtedly become, if it didn’t start out that way from the beginning, that is. Perhaps the young woman could convince herself to accept her situation and play into his affections as a means of survival for a short time, but based on what he’s heard of Nadine thus far, Salvatore doubts such a strongwilled and dangerous woman would allow herself to play wife and sex slave to anyone for very long. If she didn’t somehow successfully murder him in his sleep within the first 48 hours of her “slavery”, it would only be a matter of time before she finally ran out of patience and unleashed... whatever the hell it was she did back in the labs, upon him.

For a brief moment, Salvatore entertains the question of whether Nadine could potentially be strong enough to take him out with a single hit, as well as whether that thought should be something he finds arousing or not. His thoughts are quickly interrupted however, by the sound of shuffling and grunting, and upon turning his head toward the sudden racket, Salvatore is horrified to see Nadine, just small enough to fit her tiny body between the thin cracks of the boarded up wall, attempting to climb through the barrier, and enter the TV room.

Body shaking and voice beginning to tremble slightly, alongside his already labored breathing, Salvatore unsteadily backed his way further into the room, putting his hands out in front of him as if to try and stop Nadine from entering, though he makes no move to physically eject the invading woman himself, oddly enough.

“N-nooo… p-please… don’t come i-in...” Salvatore stutters helplessly, shrinking further in on himself in fear as the young woman effortlessly slips through the wooden boards like a slippery eel, quickly and easily landing on her feet before turning back to the mostly darkened room.

“H-Hello?” Nadine calls out again nervously, taking a tentative step forward, both hands extended outward beside her until her left hand made contact with the wall. Gaining some purchase on the vertical slabs of wood, Nadine slowly turns her head to look about the room, carefully inspecting everything from atop the surface of Salvatore’s messy desk, to the very dark corner in the back right of the room that Salvatore himself was currently shoved as far into as physically possible.

Nadine stuck her arm out in front of her and began slowly walking toward the opposite wall, eyes open, but unfocused, and right hand waving aimlessly in the air for a brief moment, as though trying to feel around for the other wall despite it clearly being right in front of her. The hooded man had no idea how she hadn’t seen him yet, he could practically feel how absolutely ridiculous he looked, his bony, weathered, turtle-esque body hunched as low to the ground as possible with his chin tucked between his knees and hands covering the rest of his face, leaving only the smallest bit of space through which he could observe Nadine’s inevitable reaction to him. And yet, despite the amount of time the young woman spent glancing over Salvatore, back and forth across the room, her bright golden eyes resembling that of a ravenous alligator in their intensity and ferociousness, no scream left her plush lips nor did fear and horror suddenly mar her supple face. In fact, not only had the mutant woman not seen him yet, but it was in that exact moment that the reason why Nadine couldn’t see Salvatore, obviously shoved into the corner, just to her bottom left, became immediately clear to him.

“Y-You’re blind...”

#Salvatore moreau #Resident evil #Resident evil 8 #Resident evil village #resident evil 8 village #resident evil 8: village #Re8 #karl hesienberg #alcina demitriscu #bela dimitrescu #cassandra dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu #donna beneviento #angie beneviento #Mother miranda #salvatore moreau x reader #moreau x reader #Salvatore moreau x oc #Moreau x oc #Beauty and her beast #chapter 8 #mine #fic #oc

[thyandrawrites]

Hi Thyandra. I’d like your thoughts. I’m not thrilled with the vagueness of the Todofam subplot rn but I still believe Touya will be saved by his younger brother in the end. Ever since chapter 305 when Deku was very straight forward about his goal to save Shigaraki, it’s got me thinking that maybe there’s a reason the Todofam reaction isn’t exactly what we wanted it to be. I really think Hori left it vague for suspense? I REALLY thought Deku was gonna have more of a struggle when it came to saving Shigaraki, and therefore be more suspenseful for us (boy was I wrong), and I figured that we wouldn’t get a conclusive decision from Deku and Shoto (and Ochaco) until closer to the time to actually rescue them, but Hori just went full on with Deku. So I feel like with the Todofam plot he’s being vague and suspenseful for the drama. I could be wrong and eat my words later ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (I hope not?). I do think the way it’s been written out is kind of harmful and I’m really tired of seeing Endvr’s POV, but I’m really hoping all this vagueness and inconclusiveness is just to keep readers guessing and then BOOM Shoto saves his brother and brings him home to his family which (I hope) is what they wanted. I think “stop Touya” is super vague because, well yeah the villains need to be stopped, and “fight Dabi” I didn’t like either but there is inevitably going to be a fight because heroes and super powers. Idk, I really hope the Todofam isn’t writing Touya off like it seems and it’s just been left vague on purpose for suspense. Sorry this is long—hope your day is good!

Hey, I hope you don’t mind a shorter response. I don’t particularly want to analyse this in depth because I know that looking too closely at the framing and the inconsistencies just upsets me. So despite the fact that I have very critical opinions on Hori’s writing of the todofam, I’d rather not put them out there, especially not in a public response of an ask, because that just invites other anons here asking me to expand on it, and I simply don’t have the energy for that.

Now, to answer your question. Part of me wants to believe that Hori knows what he’s doing and that he’s writing Dabi off as a burden for the todofam on purpose. Hopefully, this is just another red herring like pro hero arc. Back then, it also looked like Endvore was gonna be redeemed without really correcting his behaviour in a substantial way, and yet it was all a set up to make him fail once Dabi addressed how it was self-serving, a way to feel better about himself without actually confronting his own culpability. Similarly, Hori might be setting Endvore up for another failure, since just as back then, Enji’s still thinking of atonement as something that he needs to do as a hero and not as a father. I talked a bit about this topic here. Typically, when a character refuses to grow, you give him narrative punishment until he learns. So this COULD technically still make sense. If Hori had the balls to make Endvore lose something in exchange to truly atone, that is.

The realistic part of me also doubts it, tho. This is not a struggle for Endvore because there aren’t any stakes for him at all. While Dabi has everything to lose here, Endvore has both his family’s support and the title of number one he’s always wanted. If this was a narrative challenge for him, he’d lose at least one of the two. Yet he gets to keep both, because the narrative is far too lenient towards him. Typically, when a character’s persisting in a bad choice, the framing should make it obvious that it is a bad choice. That’s the problem, cause the framing surrounding endvore is super bad. He’s cut too much slack at the expense of his victims, who often get demonized more than him. I don’t think it has to do with suspence because even if Hori wanted to keep us on the edge of our seats, the narrative should still be as clear on Dabi’s victimhood as it is about Shigi’s (they both went through abuse and one isn’t more justifiable than the other because the abuser was a hero). But it isn't, because focusing on Dabi’s right to his anger is detrimental to Endvore’s own redemption, and the story seems to be really adamant about making Endvore a good guy who just had a lapse in judgement.

That’s where it gets upsetting to me because it’s one thing to portray it as though Dabi’s being scapegoated to address how it’s fucked up that “bad” victims need to perform a certain amount of contriteness over their actions in order to earn salvation while their abusers get to be unrepentant and still get atoned. It’s one thing to use all the victim-blaming that the Lov has faced till now as a worldbuilding flaw that needs dismantling. And it’s another to scapegoat Dabi because making Endvore appear less responsible for the falling apart of his family is the only way Hori knows how to redeem him.

If this was good storytelling (and it’s not), there would be textual clues telling us that the way the todofam reacted to Dabi isn’t the way the readers are also supposed to treat Dabi. But there aren’t, because Horikoshi’s trying to write a too optimistic story where both the abuser and the victim are sympathetic, and both will get “saved” in the end, even though the salvation of a victim should imply some sort of narrative loss for the abuser (which likely won’t ever happen in bnha)

that’s all I’m gonna say on the matter for the time being, please don’t send any follow up asks.

#ali replies #bnha #bnha spoilers #bnha meta #my post #e slur #abuse tw #Anonymous

[junisfics]

Yoo-hoo~

Idk if this question was already asked by someone before, but uhmm I wanna ask of where/how did you learn about uhm sex anatomy?? Like especially what happens during it. I do have some clear idea about it because of the porn I watched and read in many years but, to be honest, I’m a total virgin and writing smut scenes are always such a headache for me, ‘cos I don’t feel super confident in writing them and feeling trapped of being unoriginal with the words, ideas as well... So perhaps you have some tips for such writers like me? I would greatly appreciate 🙇‍♀️

whenever i have questions i usually just look them up ! i try to avoid buzzfeed or vogue articles and steer towards reddit posts or youtube videos that have personal experience

remember that when writing your work... it's fiction. fiction isn't supposed to be realistic (obviously you can make it realistic if you want it to be).

it all depends on what you're comfortable with. you can make your smut as picture perfect and porn like as you want it, or you can make it feel real and raw. it's whatever you want it to be

when writing smut this is the order i usually use

initial kiss / making out

heavy petting

fingering, hand job, oral (and/or, can choose to write all three, just two or just one. i try to make at least an orgasm out of this part)

the sex act position i

sex act position ii (optional)

aftercare

and then if you feel you're getting bored with vanilla sex you can throw in some spicier stuff like kinks !

choking

edging

overstimulation

exhibitionism

nipple play

degradation/ praise

names (daddy, sir, master / princess, kitten, puppy)

also, over time i've created a google doc of all the words i can use during smut... just so things don't get repetitive !!! some categories i have are: vagina words, penis words, vagina things, penis things, noises, actions, reactions etc

#junis writing tips

[meetmeatthecoda]

Okay so, I wanted to offer my two cents on that ask about Liz’s reaction in Luther Braxton: Conclusion. This is NOT meant as an attack on anyone—I find it 100% valid that the OG nonny (and anyone who related to them, including you dear Coda 💖💖💖) feels the way they do; they can’t control how they reacted to Liz any more than I can control how I reacted to that ask. Plus like, this is all fiction so no harm done? I purely wish to share my perspective, not ~present a counterargument~ or anything like that. :) Apologies in advance for how long this got. 😅😅😅

I get why you would react negatively to Liz’s screaming at Red, but I feel like?? That incident of all the times she’s treated him unjustly was (one of?) the most reasonable. Now, how she continues to act afterwards (regarding the Fulcrum but also, like, for the rest of the show welp) is 100% a continued bad decision in so many ways on her part and reflects terribly on her character, but her reaction in the immediate aftermath?? IDK, I feel the need to kind of defend her, probably because I absoluuuutely saw myself in her when she did that. I’ve (I shamefully admit) yelled, shoved, and even kicked at loved ones when they just wanted to comfort me but their attempts made me feel cornered and small. I’ve made logically unbased and ethically/emotionally unfair accusations against people who’ve done nothing but try to help me when I just needed something to get them away (literally or otherwise). When I just needed to attack something—take out my frustrations and confusion and fear and anger on someone. (And if Liz was like that, she might have latched onto Red as her target because he was the closest thing—physically, emotionally, and even in relation to the cause of that confusion and anger itself.) I have inflicted real harm on people while in an unsettling or unfamiliar mental state—harm that I couldn’t take back even when I could look back with a clear(er) mind and realize I never should have said/done any of that.

(Also, side note: when I first watched that ep and I saw Liz screaming at Red not to touch her?? I’d actually thought they were depicting her as being touch-averse due to the trauma and/or overstimulation, and I was?!! Like, call me badly coping but I appreciate seeing characters not being comfortable or straight-up being aggressive about being touched, even for just a moment, because that is me 24/7. Then of course a few more seconds and it turns out it’s not actually that?? Liz is just repulsed by Red’s Bad Guyness again apparently?? Whenever I rewatch the ep I still choose to see it as overstimulation though because, well… my heart is clearly very talented at choosing comfort characters for me. 🥲🥲🥲)

So speaking from personal experience, coming out of a trauma (or revisiting an unresolved one) is so stressful that it’s only natural to react explosively—even to the extent of unfairness and unreasonableness—in an attempt to protect or heal yourself, whether that attempt be justified or not. And honestly, I could even make the argument that for Liz, her attempt was to some extent justified. Of course Red would never hurt her, but sometimes a person needs breathing space. Like, literally needs. Maybe for the sake of her mental stability/health, Liz should have had her first moments coming up from her trance to herself. Does that make sense?? IDK if I made any sense there; I just know that while I never could have gotten to the place I’m at now without the EVENTUAL professional and personal support I’ve been blessed with, I also can’t fathom how much more mental anguish I would have experienced if I’d had people who knew me (or like, the “closest person” in Liz’s case) see me in the immediate aftermath of my trauma. Just… The state I was in? Yikes, am I glad only I saw myself pull myself together; I’d have had so much more to worry about with others seeing me like that. That might just be me and totally inapplicable to Liz of course, so I digress!

I’m not saying Liz isn’t responsible for her words/actions simply because they happened while she was in utter emotional upheaval and under mental and physical duress—Red definitely did NOT deserve that treatment from her. He did NOTHING WRONG. But with that kind of complex angst comes the inevitably mixed but nonetheless potent reactions of fans, I completely understand that. Everyone has different experiences and thus different viewpoints, and that’s fine and totally healthy in my book. Still, something about that discussion struck a chord with me—you can (and should) hold someone accountable for the harm they do while mentally unstable, but it’s possible and also healthy to do that without, yourself, harboring anger or resentment against them, you know? I had to teach myself (and those around me) that, so I guess I just wanted to put it out there. Again, I don’t mean to start anything and I’m so, so sorry if I inadvertently have. I hope it’s okay that I came here to explain my thoughts (and so wordily too, ack I’m sorry), and if not, I won’t anymore. Thank you for hearing me out this time though, I really appreciate it. :)

Dear anon!! 🤗🥰❤️ Firstly, I want to thank you for your kindness & respect for other's opinions!! This ask was worded in the sweetest, most considerate way & I appreciate it very much!! There's absolutely no need to apologize for having your own opinion & perspective, especially when you share & explain it so nicely, so never fear!! 😊❤️ Moving on to the meat of your ask - which is in regards to this previous one - you make such a good point!! When you look at it that way, the Luther Braxton Post-Memory-Unearthing Screaming Explosion is perhaps Liz's most justifiable negative reaction in the series LOL I guess looking back from where we are now - knowing all about & being completely fed up with all of Liz's awful writing & characterization in the subsequent seasons - it's easy to dismiss her reaction in Luther Braxton as something unreasonable & irritating & unfair to Red (which, to some extent - as you graciously allow - it is). But - as you generously point out - while that's a valid way of looking at it, it's also definitely worth examining from another point of view!! And I think your point of view (in everything ofc, but particularly in this) is so valuable!! I can relate at least on some level... I have definitely snapped at people, even those trying to help me, verbally & otherwise, when I lost my temper & just needed some space!! In fact, I think that's a pretty universal stress reaction & it's not necessarily something to be super ashamed of (but definitely something to be aware of & work on - a good reminder for us all!!) & it's definitely not a stretch to imagine Liz was going through something similar after being effectively water-boarded & having her memories so unceremoniously rifled through!! And, after all, Liz has one thing we generally don't... a perfect, convenient, willing catalyst for all the negative things in her life: Red (however undeserving of that title he may be.)

(And re: sidenote of touch-averse!Liz - Omg, I definitely thought about that being their angle at first too!! While I don't usually default to reacting that way myself [kind of the opposite for me usually LOL] I know that plenty of people do & it's 1000% valid as a coping mechanism & honestly??? A touch-averse Liz would be one of the more realistic reactions she's ever had 😂😭 especially considering the circumstances!! And hey, no shame about gravitating towards that interpretation bc it's 1) less painful for you & 2) you like comfort characters bc you 👏 do 👏 you 👏 but also?? I can't say anything bc the reason that I like that interpretation??? I love the angst of an overwhelmed & touch-averse!Liz unintentionally shattering Red's heart by completely rejecting his well-meaning physical comfort anddddd I'm not sure what that says about me tbh 😂😂😂)

Long story short, anon, you made perfect sense here, not to worry!! You were so respectful & cognizant of others' feelings, thank you so much for that, it doesn't go unnoticed!! You bring such a good point to the discussion with your perspective & outlook & I'm so thankful you chose to contribute!! I loved reading your thoughts & don't worry at all about the length, I appreciate your thoroughness!! (Plus, we all know I'm hardly one to talk, I never use one word when twenty will do 😂) Please don't hesitate to come back to my inbox any time to discuss whatever you like, I always love a little bit of friendly TBL conversation, especially since the show as we know it is so abruptly & unexpectedly over 😭 Yes, still grappling with that, in case you were wondering 🥲 Anyway, thank you again for your lovely ask, anon, I appreciate you greatly, & much, much love to you, of course, my friend!! ❤️

#The Blacklist #Lizzington #thoughts #speculation #theories #headcanons #Luther Braxton #mine #ask #anon #thank you for being so respectful dear anon!! #rest assured your opinion & perspective & POV are ALWAYS valued!! #and please come back anytime!! #:D #much love to you my friend!! #<3 #also lol @ me #saying last night that i'd be starting on my inbox #and then just #... #not #lmfao #sorry everyone #and this might be the only one i get to tonight as well #with nearly 30 sitting pretty in my inbox #but rest assured i WILL get to them asap!! #as soon as the stressful times in the Coda household wrap themselves up tomorrow LOL #much love y'all #<333

[i-love-ninjago-kai]

(This is from like, January of last year, it's been drafted the whole time, so it's kinda old and I would word it differently now, but I still agree with some of what I said. Read with your own discretion (: )

Idk, I could just be being bratty here, and you dont have to read this, i just woke up and I'm thinking about it. I mean no shade to any REAL PERSON here ok?

See... nyas a hard character to grasp, because on one hand, she's got potential as kais little sister and the master of water who likes to fix and build things.

On the other hand they don't really do much with that besides make it annoying because Nya has to be this Strong Independent Womeannn(yes I'm a girl btw, and yes I hate this trope) so that really dirties her character for me. In order to make her seem Strong they make it so she almost makes no mistakes and like.... sometimes can be really condescending to the boys.

As if she can't make mistakes. Its less so in recent seasons, but even then I feel like the writers are walking on eggshells whenever they write her. Like shes this Wise All-knowing Figure who doesnt need to learn any lessons... as if she's not like... one of the youngest on the team save for lloyd.

But like... the fandom seems to worship her for it. Like whenever she's mean to the boys.. I see people being like Slayyy queeennnn but like.... usually in show a lot of the time they play it off as banter.... but banter isn't banter if it actually hurts someone's feelings, which in nyas case, it usually does. But that's more of a problem with the show than with Nya I suppose.

I dont like a character thats mean to all the boys. Scratch that, I dont like when its played for laughs and the character who said it gets away Scott free.. Girl or boy, I dont like it. I dont know why its so popular.

Idk, just my personal qualms with her character, I care for her obviously. I used to be really annoyed by her before they mellowed out her character, but I still see some of the things I didn't like about her sometimes. Like when the team got sent to another realm??? Granted the show has always had a kinda rocky relationship with realistic reactions.

Like she barely reacted, like she was upset for two seconds and then just like.. moved on. Like one of Nyas character flaws (thats hardly ever used) is that she likes to be in control of the situation, and to see her brother AND her boyfriend, along with her other honorary brothers just... destroyed, id think she'd get more of a reaction.

But no, because now because shes Strong, she's not allowed to feel things.

Maybe I'm speaking out of turn here, since I'm behind on seasons. I just feel personally, that if shes the main "representation" (I use that term very lightly) for girls in this show... (save for pix and skylor, but i don't have anything wrong with them, besides pix hiding being the samurai for so long) I'm not happy with it.

#ninjago #i wont tag her character since i dont want to clog her tag with negativity

[hopevalley]

Season 8, Episode 11: Changing Times

Well, as it turns out, my second Covid vaccine kicked me down hard. After sleeping for quite a long time, though, I’m tired of sleeping and ready to try and get this write-up done.

Surprisingly, or...perhaps not so surprisingly, I don’t think I have that much to say about last night’s episode. I think we’re just too close to the finale for me to feel “safe” in guessing/hoping for anything in particular.

Let’s hit up the plot points like before:

The Triangle

Carson & Faith

Rosemary’s Purpose

School District Problems

Jesse’s Disappearance 

The Triangle

I’m probably one of the few people who liked Nathan who felt like the whole beginning scene was super weird and uncomfortable. Homegirl held his hand for one second in the last episode and now she’s going to warm his serge by the fire (while he just stands there awkwardly??? He could have done that himself while she got him some tea or something idk) and then dress him???

I think we’re meant to see that as her going back to...I don’t know...old habits die hard or something? But she was barely married for any time at all and it’s been three years since Jack died. No way would she be so far into those old habits that she’d fall back into them with Nathan lmao.

Like, it’d be a REALLY GOOD PLOT for a character who had been married for years and lost a spouse (cough Abigail cough) but considering the circumstances it felt like a cheesy fanfiction! I wanted to like it, but I just felt weird about it. Tonal whiplash out the wazoo.

Especially when we had to watch Lucas drive by and see Nathan’s horse at Elizabeth’s house. 

Lucas sadly watching Elizabeth talk to Nathan was also awkward, but at least it gave him the courage he needed to break things off with her.

You’d think I’d have a lot to say about the triangle, but I’m saving all of that for some kind of...post-season discussion. Who is she going to pick? Nathan seems like the most logical writing choice, but it could yet be Lucas. I genuinely don’t care who she chooses so long as she picks someone.

--

Carson & Faith

I like to hate on these two a lot, so you might be surprised to know that I’m enjoying their storyline. I’ve criticized this series over and over for never bothering to portray realistic relationships and one thing I can say about Faith and Carson this season is that things actually feel...plausible.

I also appreciate how they try to tie Carson into the town a bit more: he talks to Henry and Minnie and even Lucas trying to figure things out! It makes perfect sense to me; how do you choose between someone you care about/the potential life you could make with them, and a career that you’re really and truly passionate about?

This is the most interesting Carson has been since Season 5.

Anyway, the pudding scene was genuinely funny, and a great way to break up the stress that I’m sure we were all feeling about his impending proposal. Faith’s reaction to thinking he might propose was...pretty telling. I really wish they hadn’t saved so many dangling plotlines to solve in the final episode, though. I was hoping Faith and Carson’s storyline would be fully figured out in the penultimate episode so that we could let him go (or whatever) in the season finale. It just seems to me like it would be a good, smooth ending for them.

Also, for what it’s worth, they tried doing this kind of plot with Frank in Season 5, but it was rushed and pulled out of thin air; he’d never shown an inclination toward pastoring toward dying children in the past and it was clear that they just needed to write him off the show. With Carson, this sort of plotline works VERY well; he was a surgeon, and he was passionate about it, but that passion took a hit when his wife needed surgery and she died on the table under his hands. He’s had some time to move on from that and process his feelings, so it makes sense that he’d find that passion again. I just wanted to point this out because it’s interesting how well it works for Carson and how...well, not-well it worked with Frank. I really felt like with Frank, it was just a storyline that could have been given to anyone with the same success rate, whereas with Carson they took a look at the character and what we already know of him, and built the storyline specifically for him. That’s good writing, babes!

Anyway, Carson trying to propose in the vague hope that Faith will come with him, even knowing she doesn’t want to leave Hope Valley, is pretty manipulative and awful, but it really goes a long way toward making his character feel like an actual person. Like yeah, he does actually want the best of both worlds. Do you blame him?

--

Rosemary’s Purpose

I know a lot of people are really into this storyline but I found it boring. The only good part was when Lee called the other desk in his office “hers.” Everything else just felt like a bit too much to come to the conclusion that she should run a paper. We already had her “advice” column in the paper and it was...amusing while it lasted, but eh. I just don’t see good storylines coming for her from this angle, especially when they went the route of her finding out she wants to start the paper back up to share information with the town. Are we really going to trust Rosemary’s integrity when it comes to writing news stories, especially when MOST of the time the things she’ll be allowed to write about are, you know, who grew the biggest cabbage? It makes me dread the potential for Round Two of Nosy Rosie.

I dunno. I used to really like Rosemary but this season’s been pretty rough on her character. Good for you for wanting to find your passion career, but most of us work so that we can eat, not for a fun way to pass the time and stay busy. :/

--

School District Problems

Mr. Landis is right and Elizabeth is an idiot. Sure the school board is being assholes for no reason (as if they’d care if one blind child was sitting in a classroom in one western town lol), but Elizabeth’s really going to dismiss his concerns about how she can juggle the added work necessary to teach Angela while also keeping up with everyone else?

It sucks that Angela will get left out, but Elizabeth should be working with Mr. Landis to come up with a plan to teach Angela without sacrificing the education of her other students. Better yet, she could rely on her friends for advice. Like Rosemary.

Still no apology there...

Anyway, a projected 100 new kids? That’s outlandish. The only way that will happen is if they open a factory in Hope Valley, and even then it could take years. I MEAN, WHERE IS THE HOUSING GOING TO BE FOR ALL THE ADULTS THAT WOULD GIVE YOU A HUNDRED NEW STUDENTS LOL. I think we have to assume the plotlines are connected.

I also find it hard to believe the board would care about Elizabeth being certified to teach Angela. Where else is she going to get an education? It’s 1918 in the middle of almost nowhere???

This show drives me nuts with its attempt to be a “Frontier Show” while also shying away from the characters actually being stranded/cut off from society at large. You still had unlicensed teachers teaching in western towns in this time period because nobody cared!!!

ANYWAY, if Union City was like 3 miles away I could see them trying to combine schools. But it isn’t. So.

I dunno. I hate this plotline. I feel like they stole it from a better show (Road to Avonlea, where the bigger school was just a few miles away and it made sense to consider combining the schools for a better education system for the students as one-room schoolhouse teaching was proven to be less effective) but didn’t bother to consider any of the logistics of the storyline.

Maybe it’s my passion for education and history that makes me hate it, though. I know too much to find this storyline believable. I should also mention that I haven’t enjoyed Elizabeth’s role as teacher for a very long time. (I think they suck at writing Elizabeth as a teacher.)

I’m just not interested in wherever this is going to go because I can’t imagine it’ll have a lasting impact.

The only good thing I can say about the whole plotline is that I REALLY LIKED HOW BILL CAME OUT OF IT. I think he’s the only person who knows how to speak to Elizabeth. She struggles with blunt honesty at first, but ultimately tends to appreciate it, and that’s pretty much what she always gets with Bill. Also, the scene where he shuts her down didn’t make her look stupid, either (just worried/anxious), so I could appreciate it.

--

Jesse’s Disappearance

I couldn’t care less about this plotline if I tried. Jesse’s gone missing in the mountains before (was it last season? I don’t even remember because I didn’t give a damn about it then either) so this felt like a multi-reused plotline...for the same character, no less.

It’s also poorly implemented. Why doesn’t anyone else care about Jesse? Why is Clara pouring her heart out to Lee while her friends are failing to support her in the slightest? Why should any of us care when we know he’ll be fine?

It just feels so forced for the sake of drama, and it’s made 10x worse because there’s too much else going on at the same time.

Also, how convenient that they have to tell us how hard-working and dedicated Jesse is to his work to force this plot to even make sense... C’mon, he has never been a particularly dedicated to work. They just needed to explain why he would have left the car so that he could be “missing.”

Boring. I also don’t care that much about their “stolen” money.

The only good thing in all of this is seeing how soothing of a voice Lee actually has. 

--

The best parts of the episode:

Henry calling Florence “Flo” GOT ME. It was so surprisingly cute???

I love Bill, and he really came out of this episode looking great! Finally, it seems they’re done writing him as a grouchy old man who hates everyone! In this season (and particularly in this episode), he is allowed to be capable, smart, helpful, loyal, and in possession of a great deal of integrity. I couldn’t believe that guy tried to bribe the judge in town right off the bat lmao...but the way Bill handled it felt very in character—very reminiscent of him from S3 or 4. He never shuts things down immediately, preferring instead to get more information to use against his, erm...opponent. Should he need it, of course. I was really happy to see him written well in this episode.

HENRY’S LETTER FROM HIS SON. STARTS OFF WITH “DAD,” AND SAYS PS. I LOVE YOU AT THE BOTTOM. Good for Henry.

Fiona’s backstory! Finally, we get some FIONA LORE. Neat.

PUDDING HANDS CARSON. 

#when calls the heart

[origami10]

Ajin ch 86 thoughts

Okay, it’s been a little bit! Thoughts and spoilers under the cut! (Warning, this is very long)

Writing this in a word doc because a) I don’t want to risk going on tumblr and b) I don’t want to risk the post getting deleted in the middle  [note from the end: this ended up being four pages long in a Word document, so I’m sorry]

Ahhhh, last time buying the digital magazine ><    Until... if... Sakurai starts publishing something new...

It seems kind of unfair not to have Ajin be the cover feature if it’s ending DX I guess they’re just starting with a new series, though. Is that how that works? (It has a main character with white hair so I might be interested...) It’s at the beginning of the mag.

Okay, yeah, pages 111-175.  Aggghhhh I’ve always put off reading the end of series, but I think this is the first one I’ve been up to date with when it actually ended. Promised Neverland was close.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ooh completely new characters...?????? whoops overshot the starting page by a few ughhhh it’s definitely the last one... I mean we knew that, but still..... OMG NO IT’S IZUMI AND TANAKA ISN’T IT??    jeez woah  I can’t wait to hear other readers’ reactions    [edit: yes this was about clover, and she recorded her reaction, which was beautiful ;u;] also omg they’re at least appearing together

omg Sakurai’s author’s note: “It’s very cold, isn’t it. Everyone, I hope you don’t catch a cold.”       YOU’RE NOT EVEN GOING TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT’S ENDING?

okay, so at least some time skip Tanaka: New identity, who dis Ooh, Izumi called Tanaka “anta” – the rude/familiar version of ‘you’, rather than the polite one. Honestly I don’t remember but it’s probably what she called him previously. And then turns around and called him anata the next page X’D  Okay, I’m glad that not being consistent is okay in Japanese, I always worry/wonder about that ooooh so Tanaka doesn’t have a new identity YET. I wonder how long it’s been?? omg Tosaki prepared it??    Was he thinking that far ahead? Or is he not dead....   ???  okay so he made it ahead of time     oh, and Izumi was the one who asked him for it??? Oh wow, Izumi has yet another change of identity. I wonder if she’s back to (omggg I forget D: her original name... Tainaka [hah]) Also another great shot emphasizing their height difference X’) lmaoooo I always love when there manages to be some humor oh, they’re only about three years apart! I wonder if that helps pin down the timeline at all??

Aw, Izumi still respects Tosaki lmao  “I’m going home.” “You really have places to be?”  Oh I guess that wasn’t quite it- she really was wondering if he was had a living location... so he has been kinda on the run ><    [Sakurai. Sakurai, happy ending. There is, right? Right?]

Oh dude I really didn’t think we’d get any resolution on that ship and like, idk if this counts as resolution but it sure looks like it does right now okay I’m really sorry but part of me is like ///we’re using so many of the remaining pages on this///  although oh I guess it’s only been 10 pages... it feels like so many since the chapters have been so short lately...

heyyyyy  I mean we kinda knew the U.S. ajin would be back or else what was the point of introducing them Ogura not being dead at the end of the series is extremely impressive (also hopefully Kai :prayer hands:  as in I think he survived) so Ogura didn’t tell them he was coming back huh ... with the crew??? :eyes emoji: lmao AND they thought he was dead, I’m cackling oh okay so they had heard he wasn’t dead the close up of Jim’s face reminds of Kai somehow I guess this manga isn’t so long (and the U.S. ajin left enough of an impression) that at least we’re not like WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE “I’ll kill you!!” “Go ahead!!”  HA Winnn I think the people in this series need to get their idea of ‘fun’ checked I don’t really understand what he says in the bubble after that... I’ll have to check the English did he like, metaphorically die because he’s out of FKs? I’m not up on my cigarette brands enough to know if that’s an FK or not... I think it’s what the brand turned into...? oh no what’s this omg    is it gonna be Kai? Are they all gonna be in there? Kotobuki??   also this is already super sad that not everyone got out of jail free... unless they did and I’ll see... but also it’s realistic so all for the best I guess?  i have no idea OH HA I thought it was the juvenile detention center but it’s Takahashi !  o_o not entirely sure I understand what Takahashi says to the guard either at least everyone’s having... fun??? KAI KAI KAI    gahhhh this looks exactly like how ch 69 started and agh they’re both in juvie but ahhhhh they’re together??         I’m already scared to read and actually find out –o- oh wait they have dates to get out!  and they said plural ‘we’ “That was fast”  I feel like that panel represents what this chapter means to me somehow lmao they just want them to be not their problem anymore... that really wraps it up nicely, hilariously, and realistically I’m glad I’m not translating this because there are really a couple lines where I don’t completely understand them “something happened that day”  um, yeah WOW I did NOT think we were going to get an answer to whether Kai was an ajin now or not, but I feel like that definitively answers that question?????     also that’s terribly funny HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW KEI REVIVED HIM??       -punches a wall-  Kai’s whole personality is  ‘I don’t really remember that happening’  >_____________________________> Kei... gave Kai a reason to live... because he almost died...?      I still kinda have faith in this wrapping up well but GOD Kai is not a character to invest all your emotion into, laughs cryingly Kotobuki: “You literally never make any sense, man.” oh no “ano natsu” GAH

I just realized that this almost certainly means Kai and Kou never met. There isn’t enough keysmashing in the world to express my desire to throw my laptop at a wall right now

In no way shape or form did I ever expect to get closure on Akiyama, even on him getting out of the barrel

Manabe definitely stole whatever it is he’s holding but it was probably some kind of personal effects...?  [my powers of prediction suck most of the time] he really looks beat up now ;u; Izukyū-Shimoda... Win, that’s not where you traveled, is it?  Maybe I saw it on the Sunday NHK travel program... but it’s also the end of the train line and has ferries going out into the ocean islands.  Is he getting away, or going home.......? or to Hirasawa or something...?

well that was an extremely abrupt shift are they really shooting Satou up into space they’re not using him as a test subject are they that sounds like an even more awful idea than I ever could have come up with okay... oh jeez can we please please not have Satou be Captain America you just KNOW he’s going to make trouble again, ,, , , ,!!

oh jeez Eriko! I didn’t expect to see her but it’s nice! it’s really sinking in that that’s all the closure we’re going to get on Kai isn’t it Eriko tsundere as if that needed confirmed okay cool, so she’s out of the hospital (for now)

It does seem appropriate? Likely? That Kei didn’t go home. WE BETTER SEE KOU THIS CHAPTER oh, it’s fall   (or winter? Izumi said it was cold...) oh phew

Sakurai said RIP KeiKai shippers I guess....  but they still influenced each other so that’s still shippable even though they’re not together?  sigh not everything is so straightforward and I guess it’s good it reflects that

Kei looks happy enough was Kei working a blue collar job with Kou or something? That’s 100% unexpected Kou adorable omg what is his new name gonna be Also ;-; so they’ve giving ajin rights but everyone’s still staying undercover...? or Kou isn’t I guess, that’s sweet oh wow we admit Tosaki’s great     I guess last chapter’s statement that they found his remains must have settled whether he’s alive or not ‘iroiro atta na’  YOU THINK    also pretty sure that’s Kai’s line from the drama CD what’s with that Kei face??? OMG PERF       also that is scarily close to what I wrote in a fic, but also pretty much to be expected crap I guess at least Tanaka and Izumi are with each other? KAI’S MOON JACKET   WITH THE SMILIE       we really messed up characterizing Kai as the sun haha he’s out he’s out he’s out is he going to meet someone literally zooming out on everyone (like at the end of last chapter too) is kinda messing with me Like they’re still around and doing stuff but we aren’t (don’t get to) watch them anymore Kou saying ‘let’s all meet again’... my heart is warm ;0; LMAO

we can at least rest assured that everyone stayed in character

I can’t I can’t I can’t  [note, this was when I thought Kei saying ‘nah’ was the last page]

O MM FRICKING GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

omg Sakurai you’ve done it again bwahahaah a coworker hit him and is like ‘oh cool fine nevermind’ this is WAY more hilarious than I was expecting for this chapter How do I always forget that Ajin has so much comedy not remembering what page number the chapter ends on is nice

Tankobon releases May 7th in Japan Elizaaaaaa Kei’s got a Shion coat

alright uh well I guess that’s good, in a way, we still get to imagine whatever we want

Finishing it hasn’t sunk in yet, I’ve have to get back to you on that one.

#Ajin #Ajin spoilers #ch 86 #ahhhhh

[rpgmgames]

May’s Featured Game: Verloren

DEVELOPER(S): Choko ENGINE: RPG Maker VX Ace GENRE: Horror, Adventure WARNINGS: Flashing images, loud sounds, sudden sounds/images, full list (contains spoilers). SUMMARY: Chris Winter, find himself alone and lost in a black void filled with nothing but coldness. The only warmth you feel comes from your breath. In this void the young boy sees a door filled with light, trying to reach the door only leads to the boy to fall deep into a world filled with nothing but nonsense. Only when you find the key, then you’ll be able to leave.

Download the demo here! Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! *Choko: Hello, I'm Choko! I'm the developer, artist, and writer for Verloren. I've been messing around with rpg maker since 2013 but finished my first finished game in 2016 which is Desolate Village. I've also made other games since then. Those being Demon Tea, Friend Hunt, and Star Detective. So Verloren isn't my first rodeo in the whole game development stuff, but it is the biggest project I've ever work on so far. Besides game dev stuff, I'm a huge rpg maker games, horror games, rhythm games, and just games with a interesting style to them.

What is your project about? What inspired you to create this game initially? *Choko: Verloren is a horror adventure game that focuses on Chris Winter, a young boy who finds himself alone and far away from home because of this he won't stop for anything to find a way home and learn why did he arrive here. During the course of the game Chris would meet others who have their own goals. What inspired me to make Verloren is a bit hard to say from what I first started to work on it back in 2017, I was mostly trying to work on another project after finishing Desolate Village. It could have been something else but I really forgot. But since I took a huge hiatus year break during 2018, I would personally say the time I actually initially started to work on Verloren was in February of 2019. Since everything was rework with a fresh outlook on everything, so the whole head space with Verloren is totally different from 2017-2018. What inspired me when I went back to rebuild/fix the game was friends, since their support made me feel I could go back to work on the game. During 2018 I would say I wasn't in the best mood while working on the game, so the support my friends gave me really helped a lot and encouraged me.

How long did you work on your project? *Choko: I've been working on Verloren for three years now. But will say 2019 to now is when actually development started/actually got going. 2018 I took the whole year off to cool down/chill. So the Verloren of 2017-2018 is very different from the Verloren of 2019 to now. If that makes sense....

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Choko: Oh boy, this section might be very long since there's a lot of games and media which inspired/ influences Verloren, though for many different reasons. Will say the two rpg maker games that inspire me a whole lot when it comes to everything they do is Mare and Akademia (I know it's just a demo still at the time writing but it's very good. Good demo, like the characters are great!! Everything is very nice!) Other rpg maker games do inspire me, mainly friend stuff but Mare and Akademia are two games I really love and wish I can make Verloren a game which has characters which feel realistic in a way they do. Like please go play them. Besides rpg maker games will say that NieR Automata, Okage: Shadow King, RE 1/RE 0, Deemo, Rule of Rose, Smile For Me, and the Kirby series are games that just really inspire me with Verloren, there's just certain aspects of them which I hope I can capture in Verloren. Other than video games, I do get a bunch of inspiration from artist I follow, comics/manga, and anime though if I mention all of them it would just lead me to ramble away, but will say Pandora Hearts and Death Parade are two series I really love and both. I just enjoy series that shows character interaction and bonds, because that's a main part in Verloren. I really just get inspire by character development if you couldn't tell..... ^^;

Have you come across any challenges during development? How did you overcome or work around them? *Choko: Besides the 2018 thing I mention earlier. There has been tiny bits of challenges, like with creating maps, since it takes me a while to get into the mood to make them, but wouldn't really call it a challenge. Since all the time I just have to take time away from the map to gain motivation to make them. Another challenge I guess would be writing cut scenes which I love, though it's a whole process of making sure the characters aren't just rambling or going off-topic since when I write I tend to get in character, as in voice act the lines or try to think how they would. Though the process isn't really a bad challenge since it just takes a while until I get it right.

Have any aspects of your project changed over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Choko: There's been soooooo many changes to this game. The biggest change I would say is the characters, they had a lot of design changes and personality/motivation changes. But other than that, I would say the mood of the game change a lot, also how scenes play it, originally it just felt like stuff happen to happen. Now it makes a lot more sense and isn't just some random thing I added. Sadly I can't list everything that change because that's spoilers but trust me everything change for the better.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Choko: At the beginning there wasn't a team, since I wanted to do everything solo. I mostly enjoy doing art, writing, and eventing the game. Though currently now there is a team, mostly with people I know, it's more so just a critique/feedback team + voice actors. Currently there are only two VAs since I didn't want to focus on voice acting before I had most of the game done, in the far future I may make a post about it. But so far the whole team is more so just a chilling area then anything else and I enjoy all the fun talk that happen there.

What is the best part of developing a game? *Choko: The best part of creating a game is to see the characters you created come to life. I just really enjoy seeing everything come together. Idk I just find it cool that when making a game all starts out as concepts/ ideas and then after days/weeks/months of work it becomes a actually thing you can look at and show others. Most cutscenes in Verloren I get super happy when I finish them up, because I can see them as a real thing rather than a bunch of ideas of "this is what I'm going to do". Also the joke/shitpost memes....they are also the best part of making a game.

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *Choko: Yep!!! I play a lot of rpg maker games, I really enjoy seeing what other people do. I just find it cool that anyone can pick up the engine and learn how to use it. Also it's a fun way to find inspiration, just seeing other rpg maker games and being like ">:O I didn't know you can do that!!!".

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Choko: This question is very hard, mainly because I relate to because a lot of characters in the game I relate to in tiny levels. For my favorite character it's Vladimir....I do like every other character in game. Chris is my second favorite I have to say (kinda a lie since ties with another character) but Vladimir number one, he's just soo much fun to write. He's maybe the one character who has a lot of scenes which gets a huge smile from me.

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Choko: Not really, mainly since I was lucky to be able to take a huge hiatus which help me in 2019 to rework everything. So every problem I had with the game I fixed.

Do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Choko: I would just leave the game alone after I finish Verloren, it's a game that doesn't need any follow ups because I feel it would just take away from the impact when you get to the end. There really isn't anything I would need to explore, since Verloren is meant to be a single game and that's it.

What do you most look forward to upon finishing the game? *Choko: I look forward seeing how people react to the full game, I am low key shock on how people are reacting towards the demo and all the tiny predictions/speculations. Also the warm positive feedback towards Vladimir is shocking, since I thought no one would like him because of all those jokes/puns. I hope the final game has the same positive reaction, also that other characters get a warm positive feedback towards them.

Was there something you were afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *Choko: The only thing that worries me is that if I mess up and people can't understand reasons why x character did that. Since one of the main things with Verloren is that characters have their own way if viewing stuff. Like morality is pretty gray because I don't want to write a black and white story.

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Choko: Main advice I'll give out is placeholders are your friend. Don't spend time making assets for a system you didn't test and you test it and it doesn't work. Just have a placeholder graphic which helps you test it and when it's done you can always slap on the asset. Following up with this, create a debug room. It would come in handy to test systems/ events than having to play through your game to test it and learn you need to fix it.

Question from last month's featured dev @cheesesteak-horror: Do you have creative processes you practice before starting development? *Choko: No, not really. I often just jump right into development and go from there. Most of my practice come from when I work on small stuff or just when I'm bored I often just mess around with things.

We mods would like to thank Choko for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Verloren if you haven’t already! See you next month! 

- Mods Gold & Platinum

#rpg maker #verloren (game) #rpgmaker #indie games #pixel games #demo #game demo #verloren #choko-flan #choko #gotm #game of the month #gotm 2020 #2020 #may #may 2020