#I feel so fucking traumatized and the only person bothering to check on me is my ex I haven't spoken to in like 2 years

[hexitca]

Rant about Puritan fandom culture!

Well I typed it on twitter but then I had more to say so tumblr it is!

Under read more

WARNING: Long as fuck

Here's some pics

I know I basically said the author of Heartstopper "brought it on themselves" but yea they kinda did.

You can disagree with BL/Yaoi you can hate the shipping discourse or shipping in fandom in general but you cant frame it in a "i hate [that] bc it's sinful/fetishistic and I'M ABOVE THAT BC I'M WHOLESOME AND BETTER THAN THOSE DISGUSTING SHIPPERS"

bc that's gonna bite you in the ass...as it is doing now. The fucking image of their character's google history is so tame and normal, esp in LGBTQ+ spaces! Yet they are being called a pedo? Crazy. In the end, you only hurt yourself!

I never bothered with HS bc i just wasnt interested in it but thats just my preference. It's sad to see ppl, esp young ppl, turn on a series of LGBTQ+ representation just bc of the author's past (or current? idk) stance on the BL/Yaoi or MLM or whatever genre just bc their stance wavered a bit in a simple comic image. Something that is so fucking normal also! but they will grow up and realized how limiting it is to restrict themselves just to appear pure within a group.

Yet the artists/writers/creators are traumatized by the witchhunt. I know I said the author brought it on themselves for supporting anti but damn I don't want them being accused of being a pedo! Or ANYTHING! NO ONE DESERVES THAT. I dont know anything about the author other than surface knowledge but at the end of the day, all this online shit, doesnt matter. It doesnt! Me saying that is ironic bc im typing this post up right now!

but it's something we care about! I care about fandom spaces, I care that creators are getting attack for something as mild as this even if they invited these ppl into their circle. We're human and we change our views a million times a fucking day. I could agree with one thing and disagree with it another. That's why anti discourse pisses me the hell off! It's just a bunch of bullies looking to make themselves feel better by shaming others! I don't respect that type of behavior. And I hate that they just run around saying shit like "kys" over a two characters fucking?!? It amazes me beyond words.

Fandom has never been without its discourse. But the puritan bullshit is not even fandom discourse, it's just straight up bullying and harassment. It doesnt take much to tailor your fandom spaces to your preferences, i should know ive been in fandom spaces since I was fucking 13 years old. I didn't explore nsfw/porn/anything until I wanted to when I was 18. That is MY personal experience. I never put that on anyone else BUT MYSELF. If I saw nsfw and didnt want to see it I blocked the person. Not make a fucking witch hunt out of it. You are in charge of keeping YOURSELF in check not some person who shared nsfw art/fanfic. How fucking hard is it to turn the "don't show me nsfw" toggle on??? Bc it's not about that. Y'all just wanna be mad and be above someone so why not ppl minding their own business.

And guess what? There ARE ppl who are bad and support nsfw art/writing. They fucking suck. They are outliers and deserve to be called out when they get exposed. But many times, ppl always go "see i told you all the ppl in THAT fandom were pedos/freaks/etc" hmmm sounds like when conservatives go "see...that queer person turned out to be bad, SO all queer ppl are bad" DO YOU GET IT?? It never works out with that line of thinking. You are harming innocent ppl minding their own business. You are harming yourselves when you grow the fuck up and realize that "OH actually...I am curious about sex" and have ppl who you thought were your friends eat your face. PLS wake the fuck up.

If you're an anti:

I hope you recover from that

go fuck yourself

if you're offended by me saying "go fuck yourself", pls take that as a sign to log off the internet and go touch grass. As someone who has done that many of times, it's very refreshing.

#fandom #fandom culture #fandom discourse #purity culture #i might go touch some grass for the rest of the week/weekend holy shit #this is why i try not to be on twitter a lot bc tumblr im at least in my own spaces with minor breaches of stupidity #twitter it just throws it in on my tl and i get fucking triggered and angry #ill be taking a long break from twitter holy shit

[kaijuconfessions]

Even though I’m asexual and usually tell that upfront to people I’ve had a lot of scary sexual experiences where I honestly thought I was gonna be raped. I’ve been too scared to tell anyone irl but I feel like the reason why I can’t make friends anymore is because I’m too scared it will become sexual. I think it was probably one of the things other than my then xtian fundamentalist parents that triggered my schizophrenia. This is part 1, and just some of the homosexual ones. I think if I recount all of them it would be too traumatizing. And fyi, all of these dudes except #1 (bisexual) #2 (probably gay) are or claim to be straight. They’re dating or married to women rn

(1) my second closest friend from high school masturabted in front of me when we went camping and kept saying he wanted me in him so bad. After that if I ever slept near him he would reach his hand down my pants and stroke my dick when he thought I fell asleep while planting himself on my chest when I woke up so it would be hard for me to push him off

(2) one of the special needs kids from high school went into my stall in the bathroom, locked the door behind him and forcibly kissed me on the lips with tongue. He was surprisingly strong and hard to push off even though he was shorter and scrawny

(3) a turkish dude in the apartment next to mine told me he thought my lips were pretty one day and that he wanted to masturbate with me in our apartment’s elevator. He grabbed me pulled me really close and stared really deep into my eyes. He was a really strong dude so I couldn’t escape his grasp until he let go like 10 seconds later

(4) there was a kid who used to bully me in middle school whose best friend ended up becoming my third closest friend in high school. He had a frenemy kind of relationship with me since. after school one day when there was no one around, he grabbed me by the neck from behind and said he dreamed of strangling me while fucking me in the ass so often. He tried to kiss me but I ran.

(5) had a friend in undergrad who did hard + weird drugs and got drunk often. One night I found him naked in his dorm really drunk and he pulled me down to his dick and said he wanted to piss in my mouth. I moved out of the way in time but he did piss on the floor. I think he only did it only cause he was drunk but it’s still scary to recall

(6) my former best friend had a really odd demand to always sleep cuddling me while just wearing his underwear. I told him a few times I wasn’t comfortable with it, but he always guilted me by saying he was my best friend and I shouldn’t feel shy to be emotionally close with him. He also forced me to keep a picture of him in my wallet, and checked every time I saw him to make sure I had it. It felt especially weird because he was dating a woman who looked similar to me at the same time. I cut off contact with him after that

For a lot of years, I brushed it of as people just trying to bully me, but I realized all of this happened in private with no one else looking and it was always with people who were genuinely close to me (which is hard for my schizophrenic ass to comprehend). And when my parents stopped being fundamentalist because half their church died from covid, they became more open with me and told me one day that I’m a good looking person and were surprised I hadn’t dated anyone yet and that they hadn’t bothered to arrange a marriage for me (which I assumed they were doing since I’m Indian, everyone in my family does it even the ones in America, and they were looking for someone for my sister even though she’s secretly gay) cause they thought I’d just find someone on my own. My dad also confessed that he told me my smile was ugly when I was little since he was worried I would attract unwanted attention. I think that’s when I realized that people probably actually meant what they were doing and they weren’t just jokes. Honestly, deep inside I still feel I don’t know if they were kidding or if it was real. It makes it impossible for me to emotionally process what happened

Also, when I asked a former friend in middle school if she thought I was attractive (before any of the above happened, since I was an insecure boy), she said ‘I could see how you could be attractive to some people’. I always thought she was trying to say I was ugly in a nice way, but I think she may have been a white supremacist since she hated her dark skinned Puerto Rican mom and I found on facebook that she moved to Wisconsin to marry a skinhead

Edit: actually, I’ll send part 2 another time (or maybe not). Writing this has put my brain through the wringers since it’s been years since I’ve recalled this stuff

Holy shit anon I’m so sorry

[aewrie]

i started rambling in tags there but actually i'll just make a separate post bc i have a lot of thoughts. readmore bc long, cw mentioned csa, harassment, etc

there's a world of difference between minors exploring sexual topics at their own pace in neutral/educational contexts etc, and being unwillingly exposed to sexual topics in ways meant to shock/disturb/harass/groom

i have been a minor in both of these situations. amazingly enough only the instances where my consent/boundaries were ignored ever bothered me, who would have thought!

the first book i read that had a sexually explicit scene was the clan of the cave bear (heavy cw for csa if you plan to read/look it up). i was 13 iirc. i did not know it contained such a scene, but going forward with the series, i quickly realized there would be a lot of sex. i read the whole thing before turning 18.

in general, i was given pretty free reign with the media i engaged with. zero adult supervision with my library habits. i learned what my limits were, i learned to pace myself as needed, i learned to curate my media intake. this was far more useful than someone filtering all my books for 'bad' content with no input from me would have been.

i started drawing/writing sexual things of my own in my preteens or soon after. it got fairly explicit fairly fast. i didn't share any of it with anyone, it was just for me, but i did draw and write these things as a outlet for the thoughts and feelings i was having.

i find this much preferable to what several of my peers were doing, which was having unsafe sex with each other and/or unsafe people. there were a few who were drinking around at 15ish, which means there was/were sketchy adult(s) providing alcohol, and who knows what else. at least one of the girl got pregnant. (worth noting that teen pregnancies are very rare here)

me reading spicy books or secretly drawing sex did not traumatize me. wouldn't be so sure about those former classmates.

also, in the context of that post showing a sign/disclaimer that is at an art gallery, i must mention that this not a one off situation. once i went to an exhibit (on an art school trip) dedicated to selfies. there was a section for nudes/sexual selfies. it was a somewhat separate corner of the exhibit, walled off but with open doorways so you could easily see inside. there was only a simple sign noting that there was sexual content in there, but no one stood there to check who went in. no ids were asked when we arrived to the gallery. all of us minus the teacher were in our late teens; some might have been minors, idk. just. your own call if you went in or skipped that section, that's it.

minors still should steer clear of specifically 18+ spaces/communities and such. it's not safe or educational or anything. a teen secretly & privately looking at something illicit vs engaging in sexual and/or kinky interactions/communities are extremely different. something like a strip club or a kink dungeon is strictly adults only for a reason. online, minors posting heavily suggestive material is extremely not good even if technically not adult content. there's some wiggle room in things appropriate for teens but not younger kids, i know i started sharing occasional mild nsfw art at around 15, but it was specifically in general art communities, not sexual/kink communities. social media makes that distinction tricky if it is there at all.

(tho i must admit, seeing what i intended as a sweet tender moment between my ocs to end up in someone's pregnancy fetish collection on deviantart was certainly a lesson to be learned about how people engage with things online. i was weirded out but shrugged it off since the person wasn't otherwise interacting with me or anything & it was ultimately harmless, and i've kept on doing that ever since. highly recommend!)

but. "nsfw spaces for minors"? (yikes) "sfw kink" communities open for minors? (for the love of fuck no)- you mean places designed for grooming. creeps will lie about their ages and motivations.

when and how and why and with whom matters so much when it comes to minors and sexual topics.

also i saw one person in the notes there going on about how you shouldn't tell kids what porn is until they're teens bc porn is traumatizing. fuck off with that

one thing mom did 100% right was explaining that porn is unrealistic make belief for adults that i shouldn't take seriously or try to mimic before i even knew what porn was & only had a rough understanding of sex.

that's how you prevent porn from messing with kid's perception of sex & reduce related trauma. you EDUCATE, and do it BEFORE the exposure happens. if you only teach about sex related things when they become "topical" there's a good change you're already too late. signed, more than one lesson came too late for me. fun things to learn in your-20s, yay

parents/teachers should go forward with the assumption that one way or another, minors will be exposed to sexual things, through their own curiosity, trough harassment/abuse, through peers wanting to shock them/gross them out, by pure chance/on accident, whatever it might be, and give them the tools and spaces to process what weird feelings or upset might come. pretending porn doesn't exist and demonizing sex all but guarantees issues and trauma.

#yourebabblingjulle

[gale-in-space]

Ignore

Just stream of consciousness things (tw for like, everything, I'm so fucking mentally ill lol)

It's been three years since I've been hospitalized and I think I might need to go back

I don't want to go back. Being there just made me want to kill myself even more. Bare white walls, no phone/internet, uncomfortable bed, no outside time, minimal outside contact, no personal belongings (they wouldn't let me keep my pencils or pens), etc. I was stripped of all my humanness and I isolated all day, for every day that I was there. The food was terrible. I couldn't sleep because every 15 minutes the nurse would open the door and check on me to make sure I was still alive. I was a complete zombie and I cried every day.

I don't want to go back.

But I feel like I am so close to the end of my rope. I hate my art. It makes me angry and sad because I can't create anything beautiful or worth being looked at. And no one cares about it either. Especially the people that matter the most, like my mom. She wanted me to be a musician or a therapist. I'm going to pre-med instead after wasting four years on a degree that everyone on the internet hates.

She doesn't think I'll ever be a doctor.

(I don't think I'll ever be a doctor, either, but it's a nice thought).

I see a therapist but I just lie to her all the time. I lie about having DID. I lie about the things that get me excited. I lie that I'm doing okay because I don't want her to commit me again. I'm not doing okay

The only things that keep me alive are knowing how fucking selfish I'd be for following through. My family would be devastated, but honestly, I don't really care what they think. My partners would be so traumatized, and I do care what they think. But they can't help me. They try so hard. Everyone has tried so hard. No one can fucking help me

I don't belong here, probably. I've never really fit in and I've always been an outcast. I don't like people, and I don't have friends. If I could die alone in space I think that would be okay. I think that would be very fitting (and hey, at least I'd be in space).

I'm posting this because I need to get it out. I can't just say this to people, I can't talk to people and let them know how I'm really feeling, because I just break down and lose the ability to verbalize my thoughts otherwise. And they are not equipped to handle that, it is not their responsibility to handle that. So if I post this people can just ignore it and move on, and I'll keep the feelings right here, contained.

I'm sorry for all of this. I'm so rambly and I make people so uncomfortable. And that's why I need to go, I think, but honestly I don't have the courage to do it. Cowardice is the other thing holding me back - cowardice and the fear of being selfish. I can't go through with it, and so other people have to suffer through dealing with me.

This is embarrassing. I really hope no one is fucking reading this, because holy shit, it's embarrassing. Part of me likes living under the illusion that if I post this as a cry for help, someone will come and console me, but the other half of me recoils just thinking about that. I don't want to be a burden on people. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. I just want to fade into the ether and never bother anyone again.

I don't know.

Yeah.

#d0n-t rb #um. anyways #idk #i'm sorry #oh you know what the worst part about going on t is? #i was never really a crier #but i can't cry for fucking shit these days #if i'm lucky i manage a single tear #i'm like. aching for that release #it's made me so emotionally stunted i can't stand it #hahahaahahaha anyways. ignore me #tbd

[dykeomania]

hi :)

just wanted to check in here again

i hope you're doing well, and if you're not, there's better days ahead of you, don't worry about it too much

your thoughts and all your posts are so funky and lovely i just-

like a little kaleidoscope of fun and sweet and relatable (does that sentence make sense? well, fuck, it did in my mind, until i typed it out ✨)

what have you been up toooo?

aaand also id like to ask your favorite color(s), favorite scents and favorite drink

ugh i hope im not annoying you cause (un)fortunately i think you're stuck with me

i like it here, a lot

(if im ever bothering you though or crossing any line at all please do tell! I'll shut right up and apologize)

Also, I'll leave off with this :)

friend got me Dina's (and Ellie's ;) ) bracelet

trust me you are not overstepping any boundaries i always will take time to respond to your asks

HI!

THAT'S SO FUCKING DOPE OF YOUR FRIEND, i love it it looks so good it fits you perfectly (i also really fuck with your rings that thumb ring is so pretty where did you get it? did you get it secondhand?)

i've honestly been chilling. my break is wrapping up so i've definitely felt that a little bit but everything is okay and i'm feeling really nice about things. i have a lot to lo ok forward to, so, i'm really thankful

my favorite color is forest green because i'm gay, but i also really like oranges and baby blues. i like navy blue, brown, beige, white, and gray. but mostly because those colors honestly just look good on me.

favorite scents are probably vanilla, a room when it's been freshly cleaned (so like pinesol, bleach, clean citrus, etc), weed but only when it has first been burned (but if it's weed mixed with like some kind of gum scent then that's nice). whatever the fuck the scent of my laundry detergent is right now. uhhh, anything with tuberose and white gardenia in it tbh. clean musk. firewood / toasted marshmallows, but genuinely, like not in candle form. the ocean. any scent that you get from other people that's like intended for you to smell, and you smell it when you hug them. Ugh

i'm not a coffee drinker. i kind of traumatized my way out of that in my jr year of high school because all i would drink was coffee and i kind of just fucking hate it now, i guess (well i don't hate it but like, i don't find coffee or espresso attractive, i'll drink it if it's trendy just to try it but i dont regularly get it). anyways, so. i personally love chai. big chai person. not so much of a matcha person i think, but i dont know if I've had enough of that to make that decision. Loveeeeeeeee a good dessert tea (i do a really nice chamomile/sleepy time tea with a splash of oat milk and 2-3 tablespoons of sugar? ugh. winds me right down). or hot chocolate! i love hot chocolate. i make a really good cup of hot chocolate ill make u some at some point (:p)

Ummmmm please stay! because i like having you here and it always makes me super happy and excited to see that i have an ask from you specifically because you are super nice and sweet and civil and i always look forward to hearing whatever comes out of your fingers just as much as you do with.. mine. i think that's a sentence. but yeah literally make yourself at home, like. i love having you here, and i love that you love it here. i will never shut the fuck up and you can stay / bare witness to that for as long as you'd like.

#:p #we love sara #sara's a doll #mia what are you talking about

[gender-critical-analytical]

What advice do you have for women when men project onto women as a form of shaming and an intent to hurt and cause harm, that they are selfish?

There was this man invalidating a woman's feelings towards her therapist being dead silent when she cried "for all you know, she was crying already with another client, don't take it personal" and then said its a therapists job to make you think... I said a therapist's job is to have empathy, its the job of the individual to reflect on their issues and the therapist can't do that. I stated my therapist deals with suicidal patients and patients in crisis all the time, and that doesn't block her empathy for me when I am emotional and crying. He responded "you're selfish, I feel sorry for your therapist, for wasting her time and mine." Logically, I know this creep was projecting, but it triggered me. My father, who sexually abused me my whole life, once i hit my 20's and developed a strong sense of self and boundaries, told me "we are happiest when we serve others" and then proceeded to tell me I did not care about anyone but myself.

.... because I fucking didn't want people bothering me in my room when I was making art or studying... and he saw these boundaries as revenge and never respected my boundaries. The man is a religous freak who thinks women exist to serve him and doesn't view women as human; treated my mother and me and my sister like maids and bragged about having never done laundry.

I can intellectually see the projection, but because I was violated from developing my sense of self, I have a hard time with it registering emotionally.

Like I am planning to share my core hopes, fears, values, and beliefs with my therapist and my core trauma with her next session so we can start emdr from there. Now I am worried I will be so preocciped with this whole "you're selfish" comment, that I will feel guilty to even share.

My therapist was only able to give me 30 minute sessions for a while, and when I expressed concern over these short sessions, (which was mostly due to the clinic... she used to have one hour sessions, but then it went from some being 30 minutes, and some being an hour but she ran behind and ran late, making it 30, ) I expressed this bothered me... she was very nice and explained some folks need more time, like she had a male client who shared something traumatic to where he had difficulty standing after, how all of her patients matter to her and she came up with this idea to have sessions at 9 am so I have a full hour, with no one booked ahead of me so I have the full amount of time. which was super nice of her. AAAAANNND some random dude just called me selfish, right before me planning to share a deeply vulnerable share where I know I will cry, and I will be demanding full attention for this session cause its so painful, even letting her know that her checking the clock is a trigger, so offering to set a one hour time/ have a clock in front of me so I can track my own time so she doesn't have to.. because for me its important to feel safe and prioritize feeling safe so I have an effective session where I can feel fully vulerable and not avoid topics because I hate crying; my mother accused me of attention seeking for crying, my father told me I was pretty when I cried.. which is why I got so protective of someone else; if a therapist had a cold response to me crying (my therapist does not, she's very empathetic,) I would lose my mind.

I know his shit was a projection with the intent to hurt me because I told him he was wrong, but I have such a poor sense of self that it sticks to me...

What are your thoughts on being selfish in general? it seems like that projection is placed on women the most. I wonder if men call other men selfish..

.

#presented without comment #for now! #I had a few paragraphs typed out but idk #there's a lot of depth to this and I feel like I wasn't doing an adequate job answering it #but I don't want it to gather dust in my inbox anymore or for anon to feel ignored

[searchingformylostpan]

https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/689677989720164/?mibextid=dXMIcH

This is what your mini trucks aspire to be lol

I was gonna send that to you too but I already sent you one thing after you said to not contact you (still v confused about that) so posting it here instead....

I thought using Sarah as an adjective would have been descriptive enough for you to understand why I felt the need to leave the other night..... 2021 was by far the most painfully traumatic year ever for me. 100% of that trauma is still raw unattended to wounds and they hurt. That's on me, I haven't delt with it past talking to you when I know I need more help than that, clearly....seeing you and her interact and she was being a bit flirty and you were offering to do all the things for her but like I couldn't even get you to sit down and have a waffle with me that afternoon. And the fact that you just wrote me off and didn't even bother to check if I was ok or coming back kinda like you didn't want me there. And then to see how you were talking to her...it really felt like you didn't want me there and I was getting all the bad Sarah feelings and I couldn't do that to myself again. I couldnt just sit back and let myself be hurt like that again, so I left. That was the only thing that I was comfortable doing in that moment, if I would have said something I would have just sounded like a psycho bc as you make painfully clear, were not together. And I get it, I'm the only one who can fix that, because of my "choices" as you call it. It's not choices, it's a disease and every time you say that it's all a choice you make me feel like such a fucking failure. It's just a choice just stop doing it, why are you still doing it if you don't want to be just stop? If I could I would. And no matter how I try to tell you that it's so much more than a choice, you still keep saying it and making me feel like shit.

Along the same lines, the people who don't make me feel like shit, are the ones who you have never had a single good thing to say about. The only times you mention them is just to make some pointless dig at their expense. So fucking what that Jake didn't pay the $20 to get this phone unlocked? I could have paid it but it wasn't necessary so I saved my money and told him to save his too. He stepped up the minute I got home from giving you back your phone and handed me this one not expecting anything in return. He's also filled up my gas tank a few times last month, bought me groceries countless times, and was here for me all of last year when you were off starting your new life with Melanie and trying to forget about how you broke up with me while I was nearly dead in the hospital. So what if he has a bit of a criminal record. It's really not that bad anyways. He's let me look at all of it , ALL of it . And there's nothing in it that makes me think any less of him. So yeah and every time you tell me what you think of him, or any of my friends, I take it incredibly personally. Because they're my chosen family, they're here for me and don't make me feel like shit for something I really can't control.

This is not my trying to win you back, this is just an explanation of where my head was at the other night. Bc you kinda threw a little temper tantrum last night and clearly didn't understand what it was that I felt. (And remember the time I said I could see you and Josh in a reflection on the shower curtain? Well I also thought I saw you kiss someone and then heard you and Josh talking about you having to pick one of us? You probably don't remember that, but I still dont know if it was real or not but it felt super fucking real. And your reaction when I said I saw you in the kitchen was not convinving me otherwise)

[squirrelsinthebelfry]

Sunday, May 14, 2023

Holy guacamole I am sore. We spent the day yesterday working for one of our regulars, George. I was staining his fence and deck, while Bobbin shovelled dirt and spread grass seed... I am burnt to a crisp, and because of nerve issues in my shoulders and elbows, a day of moderate to heavy use of my arms like that just leaves me in agony. Oh well, money's money and it feels good to get an honest day's work in.

Today we're on another job with a new client. Bobbin is doing the actual work today, I'm just the driver. We can't afford two round-trips to come out to work, so I'm just hanging out in the car for the day with my drawing and sewing stuff. People frequently act like they feel sorry for me hanging out for the day, working on my various projects, but this is bliss for me. There's no one to bother me and I can keep it as quiet as I want it, or put music on if I feel like it. I need regular opportunities to "check-out" without feeling obligated to be "on" for anyone or I burn out... And the meltdowns that come with burn-out are a horror show that I very much want to avoid... So these days where I can just hang out in the car or someone's backyard while Bobbin works are an absolute life saver for me.

I love the way Bobbin's work ethic and absolute beastly ability to go hard for long periods of time is becoming the stuff of legend lol. He worked for this asshole's landscaping company... I'll call the asshole Pilon, for reasons. Pilon's father, Sonny, also did work with the company and took to Bobbin very quickly. He eventually hired Bobbin to help him with his own driveway sealing business, and then to help him clear out his house and move. He was so impressed that his other son, George, ended up hiring Bobbin to help him move, and then kept bringing Bobbin back to help with renos, yard clean-up, and other odd jobs around his big country property. George was so impressed that his buddy, Bert, decided to hire Bobbin to help him organize his new workshop after he moved, and wants him to come back for regular yard work and maintenance. Now, we're at Theo's house - a friend of Bert's. Theo is already talking about another friend of his who is interested in hiring Bobbin as well.

This delights me for a number of reasons, but one of the most satisfying is that Farkwad (my brother-in-law, with whom we currently live) calls Bobbin "lazy" and refused to help Bobbin get work through the landscaping company he works for, even though Bobbin is categorically the least lazy person I've ever met in my life... Even when he doesn't have a paid job to go to, he spends his time cleaning the house, the car, doing yard work, chopping wood (back when we lived somewhere where wood needed to be chopped regularly) and whatever else. I feel like this is further evidence that Farkwad's real issue with Bobbin has more to do with his own ableist judgementalism than anything else. He likens Bobbin to an "idiot" because of Bobbin's communication issues (He's loud, hyper, has trouble staying on the subject, keeping his thoughts organized, and whatever else due to Dyslexia, ADHD, and a traumatic brain injury), and calls him "lazy" because his disabilities make it difficult for him to hold down a regular full-time job if it's too structured/strict/lacking in worker autonomy/micro-managed, and I think he is SEVERELY jealous that someone he considers to be stupid and lazy is actually so much better than him in almost every conceivable way lmao. Farkwad is so fucking see-through that the only person who actually sees anything there when they look at him is my sister, Marla, and that's only because she wants to see him as a prince so badly that she makes up fairytales about him in her own head. He's an ignorant little troll.

#neurodiversity #neurodiverse #adhd #asd #dyslexia #traumatic brain injury #disability #ableism

[melye1981]

Karma... To Those of You Who...

To those of you who stood there in the middle of my street, and did nothing but watch,

To those of you neighbors who heard me yell, and even you with your doors and windows open who could see what was happening, yet, did nothing,

To those of you neighbors who just passed by and said, “It’ll be okay”,

To all of you who saw a man about to throw a brick right at my head, and did nothing to intervene... SHAME on you.

Shame on the lack of empathy and care in this town of pussy ass Pueblo, Colorado,

Shame on the idiots who watched a crazed man high on God knows what, nearly bash my head in with a brick and still did nothing,

What awesome neighbors you all are... Great citizens of Pueblo... NOT. This place is disgusting.

To the moron couple who stood in the middle of the street and just watched this, then had the nerve to walk by and say, “It’ll be okay”... FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.

You don’t know whether or not it’ll “be okay”, because you’re not me. I am a person with a lot of PTSD from men abusing me physically,

You don’t know me, you don’t know my past, you know not of how fearful I was that dreadful September afternoon, exactly 1 year to the day of my mother’s passing...

You don’t know that this crazed idiot high on drugs had already busted out one of my living room windows, for no fucking reason, then threaten me with the brick if I didn’t get off the phone to 911...

You have no clue the fear that washed through me like a bullet wound through the carotid artery just flooding a t-shirt,

You have no idea how my life is now. Now, I don’t sleep at night, out of fear he may come back and bust out my windows again, this time, while I’m in front of them.

You have zero clue the paranoia that now sticks to me like a powerful adhesive that won’t come off, no matter how much you try to get it off, it stays. Like a tattoo? No, more like a scar. Tattoos are enjoyable, this scar is NOT...

Come Christmas day of 2022, I became the victim AGAIN of a property crime, only this time, I didn’t see this person, but I know who broke into my house. They didn’t take anything of value... Well, not monetary value, anyway. Just one of the outdoor chairs my mom gave me. Was a set of 2, now I only have 1.

Did I get justice for that? Nope. It’s just a chair, but my mom gave it to me and she’s now upstairs with God. Well, to you, the idiot who broke in, thank you for at least leaving me ONE of them. You could’ve taken any of the other 2 chairs, I wouldn’t have given a shit, but you took something my mom gave me... It can be replaced, just not by HER. So, thank you.

To both assholes, thank you for violating the safety and sanctity of my home. I no longer feel safe here. Luckily for you, my landlord is selling this place, so I have to move anyway. But thank you for victimizing me. ME. TWICE IN 3 MONTHS AT THAT!!

I don’t bother anyone. I don’t steal, so I’ll never understand why I was a target for your stupidity, but now, I can’t even sleep at night. Thank you for scarring me again.

I have problems sleeping, every noise this house makes, I now freeze and jump outta my skin, I double check all windows and doors before I leave to go anywhere, but only during the day, because I refuse to leave the house after dark.

I cry at night when I can’t sleep. Yeah, I have a stun gun, pepper spray and a golf putter, but I still don’t feel safe. “Buy a gun”, my neighbor says. But no, mental illness and firearms don’t mix, so I’ll pass on that.

I’m wide awake at 2:58 a.m. on Friday, January 13th, 2023, and I cannot sleep. I am very sleepy, mentally and physically exhausted. I’m hungry, but afraid to go in my kitchen, by that door next to the refrigerator, which is the room where the idiot climbed through the window and entered my kitchen while I was home... Nah, not while it’s still dark outside, so I’ll hold on to my hunger pangs until dawn begins.

You have no damn clue. You really don’t know how much BOTH of you idiots traumatized me. All I ask is that I never become a victim ever again. It’s a scary mental ride if you’ve already had PTSD like I do. This just brought on more fear, and let down my self confidence. Took away my independence, and stole my safety and security from me. “Vengeance is MINE, sayeth The Lord”... Well, God is watching, and tho I’d love to strangle you or smack ya, I gotta let Karma do her job, and let God do His job. I hope you grow the hell up some day.

Karma will kick you all in your asses. Those who victimized my home and myself, and my parrots, because when the window was broken, glass flew into my parakeets’ cage, and could’ve killed them. You’re lucky you didn’t injure them, or I’d have to kill YOU. But that’s okay, Karma has your number, all you careless neighbors, shameful citizens, and nasty low lives of Pueblo, Colorado... You will get yours. Thank God I’m moving back to Nevada. I never liked this shit hole anyway. “Steel City”... Nah, change the nickname of Pueblo, Colorado to “Still Shitty”. Yeah, that’s a better fit... Assholes..

#PTSD #VictimOfPropertyCrime #Pueblo Sucks #Fuck You

[zivazivc]

Pinocchio AU

Okay people want the explanation for this comic so here it goes. It’s long and complicated and MESSED UP because of course it is, this is me. I’m going to write in points because my small tired brain can’t handle good english atm but basically to sum up the Adrien was a sentimonster theory or Pinocchio AU as I like to call it:

Young married Emilie and Gabriel can’t have kids. Gabriel reluctantly accepts this fate and even brings up adoption as a possibility once, but Emilie doesn’t want to hear any of that. She’s a bit of a Marinette in the sense that she pictures this romanticized ideal life for herself and a child—her flesh and blood—HAS to be in it.

They keep trying to get a baby while other young families Emilie knows keep growing. She feels left out and hurt and depressed, then her newlywed twin sister announces she’s expecting a baby too and something within Emilie just unhinges.

She eventually lies to some of her friends, who she was out for coffee with, that she’s pregnant too. She mostly does it just to see their reaction and feel what it would be like but it quickly spirals out of control where she just starts pretending she’s pregnant until you can’t even tell if she believes it herself.

Gabriel is confused at first because he hears the news second hand (a friend/family member congratulating him) so he’s apprehensive when he approaches his wife but she convinces him that they really are getting a baby and Gabriel is ecstatic.

It’s only later at a doctor’s check up that Gabriel learns that she indeed is not pregnant. The doctor even speaks to him alone explaining that his wife is in denial and that he should make sure she goes to see a psychiatrist, something she definitely wouldn’t do alone.

Gabriel is unsuccessful with that because he’s not entirely persistent, doesn’t want to be the guy with the crazy wife having to tell everyone she lied about being pregnant, and hopelessly believes she’ll just get over it eventually.

That is until her “pregnancy is near due”—her sister already had Félix in England a few months ago—and he stumbles on her transformed with her peacock miraculous (they already have both of them) creating a sentimonster newborn.

They have a huge fight about it but because Emilie refuses to destroy it, won’t tell Gabriel where the amok is, and Gabriel can’t just hurt the baby with his hands, Emilie just… wins. Fucked up, yeah?

Now she tried creating kids before this one, using her imagination to try and blend her and Gabriel’s looks but it just wasn’t working. So she decided to copy of photos of baby Félix because he already looked almost like a copy of his mother, and Amélie and Emilie already looked alike so it’s not so weird?—is what her mind was telling her.

She didn’t dare alter his looks but she decided to give the baby Gabriel’s eye color to include the “father” in some way. (Yes in that comic I made I gave Adrien a mix of green and gray but that was mainly to get the point across to the perceptive readers)

Now we got Adrien, a normal baby boy to the whole world except for Gabriel who’s forced into his wife’s fantasy through social expectations.

Why are we only at this point and this post is already so long AAAAAAAA!!!

Adrien physically basically grows in a way where Emilie just keeps changing his appearance to match what Félix looked like a few months prior.

Mentally he’s like a robot just taking in information without really needing to learn it. So Emilie decides when he says his first word, she decides when he learns to walk,… He knows how to walk, he just wasn’t given the command to do so yet.

But even so he does develop a personality over time, just slower, because unlike a normal child who’s always testing his boundaries, how far they’re allowed to go until they’re in real trouble, Adrien just can’t misbehave. At all.

But he does have his favorite foods and favorite toys, and jokes that make him laugh the most. The problem is just that Emilie could just decide that his favorite food is strawberries and he’d just start acting accordingly, rewiring his belief. 

He also isn’t allowed to argue or be mean to others which is why Félix thinks he’s a goody two-shoes weirdo while Chloé the brat adores him.

This behavior isn’t so hard to hide with a toddler who’s fickle but it’s harder and harder as the kid grows. Which is why the family becomes very secluded over time.

Gabriel always keeps distance with his “son”. He’s not Dad, he’s Father, he doesn’t do hugs and cuddles, he doesn’t say I love you. But Adrien knows he loves him because his mom told him so and he loves him back unconditionally because Mom said that’s what families do.

Now even though Gabriel is traumatized by this whole ordeal and knowing Adrien “isn’t real” freaks him out he does soften a bit over time. I’m going to give an awful example but like someone who hates cats softening for a cat that their partner/roommate decided to get/had from before. Continuing with this example: But still becoming appalled when the cat starts acting odd/unusually.

Okay I think you get the gist. Let’s move on…

Emilie loves her son more and more as he grows and his sentimonster behaviours start bothering her more and more too. She hates being reminded that he’s not a real boy by people mentioning he looks young for his age because Emilie forgot to make him grow for a while. She hates when he does everything like he’s told. She hates that he has no real friends because they’re afraid to expose him to the outside too much and without supervision. She hates to think about his future.

Her desire for him to be real keeps growing and is what drives her to search for a solution in the miraculous spellbook.

She cracks the script after years, when Adrien is nearly a teen, and finds a way to transfer the creators soul into a sentimonster.

It’s a long process that takes time and while she falls ill to everyone around her, Adrien becomes more real.

Gabriel starts realizing what’s happening when he notices Adrien hesitate for a second when he’s playing a video game and Gabriel wants him to do something, groan when he gets bothered watching TV, huff, complain, have slightly opposing opinions to his and Emilie’s, when he argues with his mother when she tells him she’s feeling fine; when he notices his son’s eyes are greener. Or is it all in his head?

He confronts his wife too late, when she’s extremely ill already, her normally vibrant eyes dulled match Adrien’s bluish gray, and he pieces together in his head what she’s doing.

Before Gabriel could properly think what to do to stop the love of his life from turning into a lifeless doll, in a fit of panic he tries to take her wedding band (where he knows Adrien’s amok is) to get rid of Adrien instead, but is unsuccessful in getting it off her so he snatches her peacock brooch instead (which she needs to complete the spell obvs) and breaks it. (Heyoo! broken peacock miraculous. things are coming together)

Because the spell was almost complete anyway it’s Emilie who falls unconscious. But she doesn’t disappear because she’s not a real sentimonster, she just becomes dormant like one.

This is the point in the story where Gabriel makes it seem like Emilie ran away or something like that—basically disappear. Now he’s living knowing he has an almost sentimonster wife in the basement, knowing he almost killed his son (or her), and having to care for a son that suddenly became much more alive, questioning, arguing, angry, screaming, not accepting, crying, grieving, staring at him with Emilie’s eyes.

Instead of becoming a real parent, Gabriel shuts him out.

Soon Adrien evolves desires for socializing, company, getting away from the suffocating home which eventually leads to him going to a public school.

He slowly starts to live life freely without the restrictions that were put around his thoughts.

Gabriel has an even stranger relationship with Adrien now because he still loves him in a way but also holds resentment toward him. But mostly he sees him as something valuable.

The show happens here…  And now finally we get to the comic…

Gabriel gets a hold of the ladybug and black cat miraculouses. (There’s no epic fight in his lair as you see there’s no Ladybug in the comic but that’s not really important)

What’s important is that Gabriel had deciphered the miraculous spellbook with the help of Emilie’s notes and had decided to use the unification’s “wish” power to awaken Emilie.

He’s aware he’ll need to sacrifice something for the wish to come true and he’s certain Adrien should be enough because the soul inside him is literally the one thing Emilie is missing.

✨Adrien (poor boy just lost his miraculous) is taken to Gabriel’s lair, where he finds out his father is Hawk Moth, sees his mother, learns he’s a sentimonster, and that he’s going to become a sacrifice ✨

Of course the last part is not what happens. It’s Gabriel who ends up being sacrificed.

I can’t decide if Gabriel ends up sacrificing himself because he changed his mind in the last moment while Adrien was screaming for him to stop, OR  because he didn’t love Adrien enough for him to be considered an equal exchange for his wife… O.O

But anyhow…

Emilie wakes up with Gabriel’s soul within her (hence the bluish gray eyes in the comic).

Adrien is traumatized for life.

This took me hours to write… I knew there was a reason why I didn’t want to do it. I hope I didn’t forget anything and my brain made sense of it all

Well there you have it, peeps. The Pinocchio AU. It’s as messed up as my sleep schedule. Good night. 

#and they all lived happily ever after. the end #ml #miraculous ladybug #sentimonster adrien theory #sentimonster!adrien #adrien agreste #emilie agreste #gabriel agreste #pinocchio au #answered #my art

[craykae]

feeling very abandoned rn lol

#idk I'm not very good at keeping up w friends #but i would've liked to think more would bother to reach out when something traumatic happens? maybe #and it makes me second guess/doubt myself like maybe it wasn't That Bad really if no one else seems to care #it's also like hard to connect to I guess.... that sort of thing just doesn't happen #imagine going to work and coming home to find your house had burned down with Everything you owned inside it #??????? #that's bad right???????? #I feel so fucking traumatized and the only person bothering to check on me is my ex I haven't spoken to in like 2 years #and I'm not super comfortable with that #my family is supportive but they're not very emotionally open #idk it just makes me sad to see people I used to be friends with frolicking around together #feels like the world is completely the same without me #and when I think about THAT well you know how that thought train goes lmao #🤷‍♀️ guess I'll die 🤷‍♀️ #delete later #sorry to my 3 active followers if u bothered to read this far #could probably benefit from therapy :p

[nebulablakemurphy]

All For You (Part 1)

Summary: Euphoria AU! It’s been years since Rue and Y/N found Elliot overdosed on the floor of his apartment. Being a surrogate for Jules and Elliot has Y/N reliving the whole thing. Companion series to ‘Because Of You’ and ‘Before You’

Warning: this is a mature/dark series including drug use, mentions of mental illness, overdose, explicit language and mentions of sex. These are very real and serious issues that people face and I am not glorifying them in anyway. If you or anyone you know is struggling please reach out to a professional for help.💜

“Hey, Elliot!” Rue knocks a third time. “Stop swinging your muff around, let us in.”

Still nothing. Y/N tries calling, the faint tune of his generic ringtone echoes through the door but he doesn’t answer. “He’s gotta be in there.”

“Last chance to say you’ve got a booty call before we use the key.”

Elliot would laugh, even if he was caught in the act. Elliot would make some kind of sound. The fact that he’s not has Rue rattling around the keys on her chain. Finding the one marked ‘e’ in faded sharpie and shoving it into the lock.

The door slides open with a creek and Elliot is there, laying face down.

“Ah shit.” Rue grumbles, “here we fucking go.”

Y/N steps over his outstretched arm, checking for a pulse. “What do we do?”

“I’ll call an ambulance.” Rue takes out her phone. It’s surreal to her, being on the opposite end of the same situation she put her sister through. The one she put her friends and family through. The worry that unfurls in her stomach, the way her breath begins to quicken and then suddenly she can’t breathe at all. Poor Gia. Finding Rue like this when she was only thirteen. ‘I’m sorry, Gia.’

Y/N notices the change in Rue almost immediately. “Rue,” she calls her attention. “Rue look at me. Everything is gonna be ok.”

It’s not gonna be fucking ok.

———————————————————————

“Y/N.” Doctor Sandford waves a hand in front of her face. “Is anybody home?”

“I’m sorry, what?” Y/N presses a hand to her throbbing temple.

“I asked if there was anything else.”

“Well,” Y/N purses her lips. “I haven’t been sleeping great.”

“Any particular reason?”

“Crazy dreams.” Nightmares.

“About?”

Why do they always have to dig deeper? Why not just lightly scrape across the surface?

Y/N shrugs, “shit that happened a long time ago.”

“Hmm.” Dr. Sandford crosses his legs. Here comes the notebook.

“Like Monday night, I was seventeen again.” Y/N tells him. “With this bald guy waving a gun in my face; saying he’ll kill my friends and family if I ever tell anyone what happened with the suitcase and Rue.”

“That was a very traumatic experience for you.” It would be for anyone.

“We went out to eat afterwards. I mean, how traumatized could I be?” Y/N likes to rationalize, to down play, to push unpleasant feelings away into a tiny box.

Sandford mulls it over for a moment, “the human mind is an incredible thing. Multifaceted and ever changing, that’s what intrigues me about psychology. However, you’ve been my patient for a long time, I know you.”

“That’s terrifying.” Y/N shifts uncomfortably. But what does she expect after pouring her heart out to him all these years?

“I don’t think Monday night’s dream is what’s bothering you.” He hits the nail on the head.

“Last night was bad.” Y/N admits, twisting her wedding band around her finger.

“Tell me about last night.”

“It was Elliot.”

“When he overdosed?”

Y/N nods. That one hurts, always has, always will.

“Did something happen with Elliot?” Sandford wonders.

“Not really, I don’t think so.” He’s fine, she’s fine, they’re fine.

“No notable changes to your schedule?”

Y/N shakes her head.

“Nothing in your personal life? Things with Rue are good?”

“Things with Rue are great.” Rue’s like a dream. Waking up to her every morning, watching her eat breakfast with Sawyer and Cameron. Rue is happy, so Y/N is happy. “Actually, things are awesome. I took a test on Saturday, it was positive. I’m waiting for confirmation from my ob this afternoon, but I think I’m finally pregnant.” Y/N rambles.

The older man lowers his head. “There’s your trigger.”

“Why would something I’ve been trying to do trigger me when it finally happens? I’ve been sweating over this for so long. I was starting to think maybe I’m too old, maybe it’s the quality of my eggs? Maybe I should suggest IVF-”

“Do you hear how much pressure you’re putting on yourself?”

Y/N crosses both arms over her chest. Yes, she does. “If anything happens to this baby, I’ll never forgive myself.”

“What you’re doing, the act of surrogacy, is incredible-”

“But I’ll probably have a lot of ‘big feelings,’ you warned me.” They’ve talked about it before Y/N even decided to try.

“Let yourself have moments of weakness.”

“No.”

“No?” The man repeats.

“Immediately, no.” Y/N argues, “I’m a wife and a mother and I have responsibilities-”

“You’re also human,” he reminds her, “humans have needs.”

“Not me though.”

“That is a defense mechanism,” he cracks a grin never the less.

She knows that. “Times up!”

“Is someone going to the appointment with you?”

“Rue.” Y/N tells him, scrambling to her feet.

He seems satisfied with that answer. “I’ll see you next week.”

———————————————————————

“Hey, you!”

Elliot’s eyes follow the sound across the street, finding Rue standing in her driveway. “What’s up, neighbor?” He asks, closing the trunk of his SUV.

“You got my wife pregnant.” Rue announces, allowing the roll of sonogram images, showcasing the little gray blob, to cascade freely down from her thumb and forefinger. “Again.”

Their other neighbor, who lives next to Elliot, nearly drops her garden hose with a gasp.

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Wallace. It was planned.” Y/N calls, climbing out of the passenger side door. “I’m their surrogate.”

Patricia Wallace is pushing eighty, she just smiles and nods, going back to watering her bushes.

“Give me that.” Y/N rips the prints from her wife’s hand. “Where’s Jules?”

“Inside,” Elliot informs her. He expects at least a hug. She’d hugged him every time before…

But Y/N crosses the street, brushing past Elliot toward the front door of the house.

“Hey,” Elliot calls her back. “Let me see the baby again.” He says, putting a hand to her lower belly.

Y/N rolls her eyes, relaxing in his arms. “Look.” She points at the little gummy bear at the center of the sonogram. “There’s your little star.”

“I swear to god, if you don’t stop making fun of me-”

“Are we telling Jules or taking fucking maternity pictures?” Rue asks, stalking over to join them.

“He’s threatening me.” Y/N tattles, as Elliot kisses her cheek.

Rue points a finger at him, “you mother fucker.”

“It’s good to see you too, Rue.” Elliot cocks his head to the side.

“Um, hello?” Jules waves a hand at the three of them huddled around in the driveway. “Are you fucking gossiping? Without me?”

“Come here.” Y/N insists with a smirk.

“K.” Jules smiles back, moving to stand beside her husband.

“Close your eyes,” Y/N demands.

“What?” The blonde laughs.

“We have a surprise,” Rue says.

“You’re being weird.” Jules brows pull together when Elliot covers her eyes with his hands.

“One,” Y/N counts. “Two.”

“What the fuck is happening?” Jules curls her fingers over Elliot’s, ready to move them away.

“Three.” Y/N holds up the sonogram.

It takes Jules a second to process the image after it comes into view. Slowly her mouth opens in surprise. “Shut up.”

“Damage is done,” Rue rocks back on her heels. As Sawyer would say, no taksies backsies.

“You’re not.” Jules shakes her head.

“The doctor just confirmed it.”

“Right now?”

“Like ten minutes ago, yeah.”

“What?” Jules repeats, her hands trembling as she reaches for the pictures.

“That’s your baby.”

Tears spring to Jules’ eyes. “No.” She still can’t believe that no one has said ‘just kidding.’

“Yes,” Y/N assures her. This is real.

“I’m gonna cry,” Jules fans her face in an attempt to stop it.

Elliot wraps his arms around her, whispering against her ear, kissing the side of her face as he does. “That’s our baby, Jules.”

Jules nods, laying her palm flat against Y/N’s belly. “It’s so little.”

“It’ll grow.”

Part 2

#rue bennett imagine #elliot euphoria #before you #jules vaughn imagine #because of you #euphoria #rue bennett #rue bennett x y/n #rue bennett fanfic #rue bennet x reader #elliot x you #elliot x reader #jules vaughn x you #jules vaughn x reader #jules euphoria #jules vaughn #jules x elliot #elliot x rue

[erodasfishtacos]

harry adores yn with his entire being and i can tell that she loves him just as much but the poor thing is just so scared, and by what you have showed us she has a fair reason to have struggles

Through Hell and Back

warnings: cheating, mentions of domestic violence, this could just be overall triggering if you have experienced trauma or family struggles.

this is a very important blurb to understand dynamic and history of the characters.

PLEASE let me know your thoughts.

—

Harry’s out at a bachelor party for his friend, Jack, at a noisy bar downtown where there is a mechanical bull and half-naked waitresses.

His phone rings at two-thirty in the morning, he already knows who it is and why she’s calling him so late.

He steps outside the noisy bar, “Hi puppy, y’alright?”

Harry already knew she wasn’t.

Her voice is shaky, “Er, are you still out at the bachelor party?”

If he says yes, she’ll just try to say have fun and was just calling to check in - a lie because she felt like such an inconvenience at all times.

“No, just got home,” He lied smoothly, he could hear her trying to hide a sniffle - she must have had a bad dream.

Every since she started trauma therapy, they’d been getting worse, as she worked through her struggles with a therapist.

—

“I-I don’t want to g-go in,” YN whimpers as she sits in Harry’s passenger side outside the clinic, “I can’t talk about it.”

“Baby, you need to do this. You need to talk to someone who’s trained to help you, okay? You promised you’d try it f’me,” He hums, rubbing a thumb over her wet cheekbone.

She shakes her head stubbornly, “It’s all going to come back.”

“Yes, it will. Because you didn’t work through it, you repressed it. There is a difference, okay?” Harry’s heart feels like it’s being ripped in two as YN looks like a caged animal.

YN squeezes Harry’s hand so hard it hurts but he doesn’t mind, he can feel her fear being shared through the rough touch.

She wipes her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater, “Please, H. I don’t want to remember.”

He sighs softly, “I would never force you to do something you don’t want to do. If you really want to leave, we can.”

YN searches his eyes, sees his sadness and she knows she has to push through because she loves him so much, “Will you walk me in?”

“Of course, s’fucking proud of you. My strong girl,” Harry praises, kissing the top of her head, and shutting off the car.

He walks her in, watches her as she hesitantly goes back in with her new therapist, and sits in the waiting room for the hour and a half until she comes out.

He does that every week without miss.

Drives her, walks her in, sits in the waiting room, and then drives her home.

She doesn’t usually talk much after the sessions, her eyes swollen and puffy which is a telltale sign she cried during the appointment.

Harry holds her hand on the ride home, sometimes draws her a bath or tucks her in for a nap under his covers.

One day, after therapy, they crawled into his bed together. She hadn’t said one word since she walked out of the office but she looks tiredly at Harry.

“Why?”

Harry frowns, “Why what?”

She hides her face into the fluffy pillow, words mumbled, “Why do you want me? I’m so broken.”

“Hey,” Harry responds loudly, pulling her up and giving her a serious look, “You are not broken. Even if you were, I’d love every broken piece, okay? I want you because I’m so in love with you it doesn’t make sense.”

YN shakes her head, “I don’t deserve you. You-you have to drive me to therapy every week, leave work early, have to make it up the next day.”

And well, his heart breaks a little because she truly believes that.

Harry grips her jaw, gently, “If you need to go to therapy for the rest of your life, I’ll drive you until I’m ninety. I’ll drive you five days a week if you need it.”

He continues,“I don’t deserve you, sweet girl. Strongest, bravest, most resilient person I’ve ever met. You are my soulmate and I believe that wholeheartedly.”

“I want to nap now,” She whispers, crawling back into her shell where she’s safe from the world, from facing her fears.

Harry just stares at her, the girl he’s had a crush on since fourth grade, the girl he’d been in love with since ninth.

When she felt broken, well so did he.

—

“Mum, I want to do more for her,” Harry cries to his mother one night at dinner after school.

“I know you do, Harry. There is only so much you can do. She has parents tha-“

“Those aren’t parents, mum! You know that!” He shouts angrily, “I need to do more for her. Help her!”

Anne looks at him with a soft, understanding expression, “You’re doing all you can, Harry.”

—

He was still doing all he can.

“I wa-was wondering if you wanted to come over and watch a movie?” YN acts casual despite the tremor but he won’t call her on it - on the phone at least.

“I’d love to pup, I’ll be over on a tick,” already walking away from the busy bar.

Harry can hear the relief in her voice when she says, “Okay, I’ll see you soon.”

When he uses his key to open the door, she sat on her couch with all the lights in the house on, not one off.

“Oh, pet,” Harry murmurs, all the blinds were drawn shut and he knew she’d already triple checked that the windows were locked - despite the state of the art security system he had installed for her.

“Um, so are we feeling a scary movie or romcom?” She ignores his words, picking up the remote, and pulling up Netflix.

He flicks a couple of the bright lights off until it’s normal dim and he sits next to her on the couch, taking the remote and turning off the television.

“Talk t’me,” Harry coaxes, unraveling her from the heavy weighted blanket, and tugging her into his chest.

“M’fine,” YN lies on a choked whimper.

“Y’safe, you know I’d never let anythin’ happen to you . Please puppy, tell me,” He’s not to manly to beg for her to open up.

He allows her to nuzzle her face into his neck, “He cam-came back an-and he -,” her voice drops, “broke in here and I wo-woke up as he was opening my door.”

Harry holds her for a very long time that night.

-

With Harry and her therapist’s constant encouragement she’d been able to be more open and up front with Harry - which made him feel unexaplainably proud of her.

Anna almost fucked everything up, all the hard work without even realizing it.

It was nearly three in the morning this time.

Harry was stuck at Anna’s house with her and her friends for a movie night.

He’d gotten up to go to the bathroom when his phone rings.

Anna sees who it is and picks it up, “What do you want? Harry’s busy and doesn’t have time for you right now. You know it’s not all about you, right?”

Then she hangs up, all of her and her friends giggling at how she just treated YN.

Harry is unaware of the call for a few minutes when he gets back until he gets a text from YN.

I’m sorry I bothered you. I am okay. Have fun tonight x

He scrolls through his phone in confusion until he sees the call, he glares over at Anna, “Did you answer my phone?”

She has a cocky look on her face, “Yeah, I told YN that the world doesn’t revolve around her and to leave us alone.”

All the friends are giggling - but that comes to an abrupt halt when Harry stands up, knocking over the little table of drinks with his anger, “Where the fuck did you get the idea that you could touch my phone, let alone answer it?”

All of them are quiet.

He scoffs, “Now all you annoying prats are going shut up? Get the fuck out of my way,” he orders to Anna who’s pouting.

“C’mon, it was a joke. Don’t leave,” She whines, grabbing at Harry’s arm which he instantly rips out of her grip.

“Don’t touch me. I can’t fuckin’ stand you,” He tells her honestly before storming out of her house without a look back at her teary face.

-

When he arrives at YN’s house, a book is automatically been hurled at the front door when he opens it, then another.

“Hey, puppy, stop tha’. S’just me, you’re okay. S’just me,” He coos, rearming the security system to make her feel better.

She is only in one of his shirts with the company logo on it and soft cotton boy shorts, hair frizzy atop her head.

“Y’have another nightmare?” Harry asks softly, all the lights were on again, every single one.

YN clenches her jaw, “No.”

He hardens his expression too, “I was in the bathroom when she answered that call. As soon as I found out, I came over here. Don’t be sour with me.”

“I didn’t have a nightmare.”

“I know y’bloody lying because your legs are still tremblin’. Now cut the bullshit and talk t’me, we’re not going backwards,” Harry tells her seriously, with all firmness he can muster.

“I love you.”

It takes him aback. YN told him how much she adored him but it was something that didn’t come easy for her.

To hear it flat out, well….he nearly almost melted on the floor into a pile of goop.

“I love you too, puppy.”

She takes a deep breathe, “It’s been that same nightmare, but it’s not really a nightmare? It’s a flashback to…”

YN swallows before she continues, “Remember when….when I ran from my parent’s house to yours and my dad came and found me…”

Harry doesn’t want to remember but he does.

—-

“Harry, he-he just pulled up,” YN cries, peeking out his window, “I don’t want to go home.”

“Harry, he’s screaming at your mum. I have to go.”

“Harry, I have to go before he does something stupid. I’ll be okay, I promise.”

“Harry, don’t cry. I’ll be fine, he’s just really upset. I’ll just deal with it and it will be over before we know it, okay?”

——

“I remember,” He wavers like he normally doesn’t, feeling like a helpless sixteen year old again.

It was moments like this were no matter how hard he wanted to be angry or scream at her for making their relationship so difficult, that he couldn’t be.

How could he blame her for her commitment issues?

Why she struggles to trust?

Why she never feels good enough?

“I’m sorry to bring that up-“

“Do not apologize,” Harry interrupts, “I want to know everything you experience or feel no matter how traumatic or upsetting.”

YN despite her own struggles, when she heard Harry say things like that…well she knew full heartedly that he loves her with no conditions.

She knew this was so hard on him, “I am so in love with you, H.”

His eyes automatically soften and he reacts like he’s being praised. His face lights up without him even knowing it does.

“I’ve been in love with you since I was sixteen, thank you for being my person. I appreciate everything you do for me.”

It was something she had been also working on in therapy, expressing gratitude- specifically to Harry.

And it works because Harry actually starts tearing up, eyes watering with emotion, “I love you. I’d walk through hell and back for you.”

He would and he has.

#harry styles #harry styles writing #update #harry styles masterlist #harry styles fic rec #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles x y/n #Harry styles angst #cheating!harry blurb #cheating!harry #cheating!harry masterlist

[lavenderwhore444]

God Im pretty sure I’m going to hell ANYWAYS ok so this is a hybrid cat shigaraki, u end up adopting shigaraki from a very abuses owner so our little kitten is traumatized and terrified of everything, it took u a bit of time until he was comfortable with u , he doesn’t trust u in the beginning and thinks ur gonna do the same as his previous owner did but ur different u were so patient, sweet and soft not to mention he LOVED getting head pets from u ( he would never admit it tho) once shigaraki found out that he was in love with u he was stuck to ur hip ( he was super clingy) shigaraki’s heat was closer then expected, shigaraki didn’t want to ruin his chances with u but he couldn’t stop himself from humping everything so he hid in his room , you absolutely loved shigaraki since the day u saw him u knew u wanted him, when u first met him he scratched and hissed at u he was terrified, it honestly made u sick knowing the person who did this to him is still alive, u both got much closer he even started cuddling with u!!!! U soon fell in love with shiggy but u didn’t want to ruin what u guys have so u kept it to ur self , u noticed shigaraki was acting weird and hid in his room for two days at first u thought u might give him some space but u started getting worried u wanted to check on him before u came in u heard some little moans and whines, it just hit u that ur little kitten has there heat, u decided to help out 👀

Kinks pet-play of course dom reader and sub shigaraki maybe some pegging that’s all I can think of so feel free to add any kinks. I was listening to hello kitty by Avril Lavigne there was part where she says “ come come kitty kitty your so pretty pretty” that was inspired me to write this lmaooo 

-🤡

HELLO KITTY

If you want to use interactive fics, it's easy and makes reading fics SO much better. First, you download the Google Chrome extension. You'll see it in the top right corner of your screen. Next, you enter your name in the first box. If you want to change something other than y/n, please click on the text that says “want to change something other than y/n?” here, you can change any word you want to a different word. When I talk about your quirk I will use y/q.

InteractiveFics

Master List

Samesies, but it's ok, we’ll go to hell together 😫

Now you might be wondering, Claire, why did this take you literal MONTHS? Well, I wanted to perfect it. I love this concept so much that I just HAD to spend so much time on it to make it perfect. And let me just say, it's pretty good 😏

Warnings: vaginal sex, overstimulation (male), anal sex with strapon, heat, pillow humping, marking mating, whatever you want to call it.

I've decided I'm obsessed with making cat shiggy meow ☺️

‘Where the fuck am I?’ Is shigaraki’s first thought of the day.

He’s never been on a bed this soft or a house this warm. Where is he? The blankets are all fuzz. The bed is littered with stuffed animals and pillows, and sweet-smelling candles, are burning somewhere. Is he being sacrificed?

“Hey, you're awake, ” a soft voice says, coming from the end of the bed.

He recoils in fear but, upon second glance, he sees that you aren't who he thinks you are. A girl replaces the scary form of his “master.” he looks you up and down. He has to admit you are quite pretty. The sight of someone other than the large man who used to own him excites him. Maybe this is a fresh start? But perhaps you're just like him...

“Get the fuck away from me, ” he snaps, scrambling into a corner.

“It's okay, sweetie, ” you say, “I'm not gonna hurt you, ”

“Everyone says that, meow ” Shigaraki retorts, “get the fuck away before I scratch your eyes out, ”

You bite your lip, “ok, Tomura, I'm gonna sit with you for a while, though. I'll be right across the room if you need anything, ”

“I don't need shit from you, ” he says, hissing making a show of his claws.

You laughed a little, more than a bit sad at his fear, “alright, but I’ll still be here, ”

He sits in silence for a moment, surveying his surroundings. He notices fresh clothes in the dresser, and there are some game consoles set up for him. How do you know he likes video games? Fucking creep. There aren't really any escape routes but escaping is complicated when he doesn't know where he is.

“Where am I meow?” he asks, sounding meeker than intended.

“I guess I kind of adopted you, ” you explain, “we’re at our house, ”

“Why did you do that?” he asks, the edge coming back to his voice.

“You just seemed so sweet, and the man who owned you was so mean. I couldn't just leave you there; he was hurting you, ” you say, frowning a little at the thought of Tomura getting hurt.

"Why do you care?" he snaps.

You sit closer to him, making him tense.

"I already told you, I think you're sweet Tomura," you repeat, "I just can't explain it. I'd really like it if we could become friends,"

'Or maybe more,' you think to yourself.

You can't deny he is very attractive.

"How do I know you're not lying meow?" He asks.

"I think you'll just have to trust me. Do you want to play some games with me?" you ask.

"Fine," he says, "only cause I'm bored,"

You grin, "awesome. What should we play?"

Shigaraki stands up and walks over to the games, tail swaying.

"This," he says, holding up animal crossing, "you probably like it cause it's dumb. What's your name anyway?" he asks.

"I'm y/n," you answer.

"I guess your names not awful, meow”, he mutters.

Truthfully, he already thinks you're beautiful, and you seem so kind. Shigaraki sits unusually close to you on the bed as the two of you play. You play late into the night; he makes a good bit of progress. Eventually, you feel his head rest on your shoulder, and he falls asleep on you.

You ease Tomura into your lap.

"There we go," you whisper, "you're safe now,"

Little did you know he's wide awake, smiling to himself and nuzzling his head closer to you. The sound of soft purring fills your ears as he drifts off into the most peaceful sleep.

He's pretty disgruntled when he wakes up alone. Where have you gone? Shigaraki doesn't have to wonder for long when you come back with a plate of food.

"Hey, are you hungry?" you ask, setting a plate of food on the table next to him.

He nods, digging in right away. You watch him eat like a man starved. Honestly, he might have been. He puts the plate down and moves closer to you. He's beginning to trust you more and more.

"Tomura, ” you say, “I have to put a collar on you now, just in case you get lost, ok?” you push some hair out of his face, “id be so sad if I lost you, ”

“fine, meow” he mumbles.

Truthfully his heart is melting at the thought. That you aren’t embarrassed by him, that you want to keep him safe and close to you. When you click the collar into place he hugs you, tugging at your shirt.

It’s shocking how fast he’s becoming comfortable with you but definitely pleasing. The next few days are calm, spent lounging around the house. He‘s getting so trusting with you. He occasionally pushes his head beneath your hand so you scratch his head. He always denies it, though; he has a tough-guy exterior to keep up.

However, something changes within him. He feels a strange warmth, not a necessarily bad feeling, around you. Tomura knows what cats were supposed to do. They are supposed to cuddle and play with their owners. Should he be doing that? Should he act like a “normal cat”? He concludes that you don’t want that at all. The lack of cat toys, a cat tree, and you allowing him to eat at the table solidify that.

However, he does want to cuddle. He tries to cuddle like all the time. But you have work, and you get tired, and you run errands, and he becomes sad. Tomura knows you have a life outside of him, but you really shouldn't. He should be your only priority. When Christmas break finally rolls around, and you start spending more time at the house, he's elated.

He has internet access, of course. He needs it to play his video games! But it was restricted. You don’t want your little kitty to see things he’s not supposed to. He starts to like watching movies too. At first, they‘re action movies with lots of blood and fighting, which you don’t necessarily agree with, but it doesn’t seem to bother him. He slowly gets bored with them and stumbles across a romance movie.

Tomura becomes engrossed in them. He loves watching the couple fall in love and be happy. One movie, in particular, weirds him out. It looks like they were taking off their clothes. They start kissing and making strange noises. He doesn't like it one bit, it makes his cheeks feel hot, and his cock gets semi-hard. He turns it off immediately.

It doesn’t take long for him to forget about it and keep watching different ones. Soon he finds some similarities between him and the main character. The way they feels around their love interest is the same way he feels around you. Is he in love with you?! It seems so and you have just recently come to the same conclusion as him.

Soon he’s all over you, following you everywhere. Tomura pushes open your door every night and snuggling up to you. He’ll purr and nuzzle into you, happy sighs escaping him. Whenever he “accidentally” wakes you up, you never get mad at him. You just cuddle him and talk all night, giggling and talking until you both fall asleep.

Oddly enough, you‘re oblivious to his feelings for you. Whenever he cuddles with you, you hold back the urge to kiss him on the lips. You don’t want him to feel awkward around you. Soon he starts acting strange without any change in behavior from you. He stops coming in your room at night and wont come out of his room.

You don't want to be overbearing, so you give him space...for a while. Meanwhile, in his room, Tomura is lying naked on the bed, panting and sweating. He feels strange, just like he did when he was watching that movie. He doesn't understand what‘s happening to his body but when he humps his pillow it feels like an itch is being scratched. The first time he cums he‘s terrified and lets out a scared “meow!”

But it feels so good. The feeling doesn't go away, so he decides the only solution is to keep humping. Soon he‘s limp but still grinding his hips on the poor pillow. He takes deep whiffs of your sweater, huffing it like a drug. His tongue is lolling out of his mouth and his eyes are rolling back in his head. He‘s starting to hurt down there but he just can't stop cumming.

Oh, why can't he reach the phone you left in his room? Why is his voice too hoarse to call out to you? Tomura is scared. He can’t eat or sleep. Sweat has soaked into the mattress and his poor little cock is starting to hurt. You‘re getting worried too so you wander up to his room and callout to him, pressing your ear to the door.

“y/n meow,” he calls out hoarsely, almost a whisper.

All you can hear are desperate whines and moans. Is Tomura...in heat? Oh, your poor kitty is probably in so much pain! You have to help him, so you open the door and see him. It is a pathetic (yet erotic) sight. He looks so desperate. He‘s crying and looks so scared. Tomura just whines and reaches out to you even though he‘s far away.

“Oh, sweetheart,” you whisper.

You walk over to him and scoop him up, sitting him on your lap. He continues to try and hump you, but you can tell how much his poor dick hurts. You hug him tightly, feeling guilty that you took so long to check on him.

Tomura tugs at your shirt, he can't figure out why he wants you to take off your clothes, but he does. You oblige, ready to do anything your sweet kitten wants. When he sees your top half naked, he feels his cock beg for you. He starts to tug aimlessly at your pants, and you take them off, once again, all too eager to please.

He doesn't have any sexual knowledge, but he has instincts, pure carnal instincts that tell him just how to breed his mate’s tight pussy. Tomura grabs your hips, his claws accidentally puncturing the skin. You yelp as he pulls you on top of him. When he slams you down onto his long fat cock he doesn't get the rush of pleasure he expected.

He's hit with an extreme amount of pain and lets out a panicked meow. You lift yourself off of him quickly, and Tomura misses the feeling of your cunt even though it caused him so much pain. He paws at you, but you keep him from shoving himself in you again.

“Tomura,” you say softly, “you need to calm down; you're hurting yourself,”

“Meow! need!” he cries.

“So needy,” you mutter, “youre just gonna hurt yourself,”

“Don’t care! Need!” he begs.

“Hold on,” you say, getting up and ignoring the insistent pawing at your shirt as he whines.

You rifle through your drawers until you find the dildo you got and the free strap-on attachment that came with it. You smile and gran some lube; this is exactly what you need for your pretty kitty. He watches with curious eyes and blown out pupils due to pure lust.

“Let's give your poor cock a break,” you say.

He nods, but where are you going to put that? You climb onto the bed with him, and he hugs you, sucking on your tit. He feels so at peace. Your boobs are so soft and pretty. He wants to stay like this forever. But when Tomura feels those nimble fingers of yours start to trail across his lower back just above his ass he shivers.

He leaves open-mouthed kisses across your chest; he lets them get sloppy and wet as you rub his back.

“Need,” he whispers again, eyes half-lidded.

You tilt Tomura’s head up and give him his first proper kiss. He's seen this in movies and knows you're supposed to say “I love you” after...right? He doesn't know the full meaning of the three little words he's about to say.

“I love you y/n,” he says when you pull away.

“I love you too,” you say, taken aback just a bit.

He gives you a love-drunk smile and tries to rut against your thigh but yelps again, remembering how sensitive he is.

“C’mere pretty kitty,” you coo, “lay on your back for me,”

He nods and lays on his back, painfully aware of how exposed he is to your careful, calculating eyes. He starts purring when you muzzle your head into his neck. Are you going to mark him?! Do you really want him to be your mate?! Oh, he hopes so! He smiles, and his breathing picks up, but his ears flatten on his head when you pull away.

“No mate meow?” Tomura asks, face falling.

For the first time all day, he feels his cock soften sadly. He doesn't understand the look of confusion on your face and tears up a bit.

“I'm not sure I understand,” you say, brushing some hair out of his face and feeling guilty when you see his teary eyes.

“I want you to mark me,” he says, bottom lip quivering, “please meow?”

Your eyes widen, “oh,” maybe you did learn something useful in school, “of course honey,”

You lean down again, unsure of how hard to bite his neck. You can tell exactly where you're supposed to bite. A strong musky smell radiates from the side of his neck and you decide to sink your teeth in until you break skin. When you do, he sighs happily at the feeling of your admittedly dull teeth (in comparison to his) in his neck.

“Mate,” he purrs.

You pull away when you can tell he's satisfied. He pulls you in for another kiss, tasting some of his blood on your tongue. He doesn't notice your fingers traveling to the bottle of lube on the bed and pumping some onto your fingers. He does notice when you start to rub around where you're not supposed to.

“Hey! What are you doing, meow?!” Tomura says, squirming at the strange new sensation.

When you find your mark and circle his asshole, any objections he just made the in the past. When he feels your finger begin to sink into his tight hole, he sighs happily. He isn't supposed to be the one getting penetrated, but he can't help how much he loves the feeling of your finger wiggling around inside of him.

When you add in another finger, he meows happily, grinding on your fingers. All this pleasure without the pain, what has he done to deserve this? To deserve you? Tomura’s back arches as he moves his hips; he can feel himself coming to a different kind of climax, but you pull away right when he's on the edge.

He looks up at you with pleading eyes and trembling thighs. He sees you putting that strange liquid on something much larger and gulps. He feels his asshole gape around nothing, waiting for something to fill it up.

“Is that going inside me, meow?” he asks nervously.

“It won't hurt,” you say, cupping his face, “i promise,”

Tomura gulps but nods. He trusts you. When the head of the dildo pushes into him he's tense and panting already.

“You have to relax,” you whisper in his ear, “be a good boy and relax,”

He tries, letting the nervous knot in his stomach untangle. His breathing slows as you push in more of the dildo. It starts to feel good, having you in some of him, and it's even better when the head of the dildo hits a spot that makes him mewl. He wraps his arms around your neck and pulls you down to him, causing you to poke his prostate again.

He moans and buries his face in your neck, purring loudly. You start to move your hips at an agonizingly slow pace. You worm your arms under him and hold him close while you help him adjust. He's planting and mewling happily.

“Love you,” he moans, “I love you so much y/n,”

“I love you too, Tomura,” you whisper, kissing the shell of his ear.

“It's so good,” he groans, “you're amazing meow. The perfect mate,”

“Yeah?” you say, too focused to respond.

He nods, “the best ever,”

You keep thrusting, speeding up just a bit. That makes Tomura yelp happily. His tongue lolls out as he smiles. There's not one thought behind those beautiful red eyes—just pure pleasure. It's taking over his entire body and he can't help but meow happily.

He likes to think of himself as more refined than most hybrids. More human, but all he can think of now is how wonderful being your little kitty is.

“I'm gonna cum,” he whimpers, “gonna cum, meow”

His dick quivers, and his asshole clenches as cum spurts out of him, but it's still not enough. To satiate his desires, he needs to be inside of you when he cums. When you pull out of him slowly and remove the strap on, he bites the bullet and plunges into you, ignoring the pain that makes him sob and absolutely hammers into you.

You're helpless underneath him as he has his way with you. You can't deny how good he feels inside of you. Tomura hates how long he's lasting. He needs to get this over with, although having you cum on his cock would be pretty nice. When he feels you worm your fingers down to your clit he starts to be thankful he hasn't lost his mind and cum yet.

That look on your face makes him so happy. He wants you to be happy. He wants you to cum, so he holds out until you milk his cock with your cunt. And when he lets go it's heavenly. The itch has been scratched, and he collapses on top of you, purring as his tail twitches. You scratch behind his ears to help him get some much-needed rest.

It works nearly immediately, and your sweet kitty is asleep in mere minutes. You love Tomura more than you can put into words, and he loves his pretty little mate. His adorable little y/n.

#fluff #mha shigaraki #mha tomura #tomura x y/n #tomura imagine #tomurashigaraki #tomura fluff #tomura smut #tomura x reader #tomura shiragaki #shigaraki tomura #bnha tomura #tomura x you #boku no hero academia tomura #tenko smut #shigaraki tenko #tenko x reader #shigaraki fluff #shigaraki smut #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x y/n #boku no hero academia shigaraki #bnha shigaraki

[kirishimaswife2819]

When Their S/o is on Their Period || BNHA Boy Headcanons

Masterlist

Pairings: Izuku Midoriya x Fem!Reader, Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader, Eijiro Kirishima x Fem!Reader, Shoto Todoroki x Fem!Reader, and Denki Kaminari x Fem!Reader

Summary: How the boys act when you’re on your period

Word Count: 1.6k

A/n: I wrote this because my period is supposed to come in like two days and I am not very excited at all. Anyway, I hope you like these headcanons, and requests are still open and all that, just read the rules first. Also, thanks for everyone who has liked/reblogged any of my posts or even followed me, I really appreciate it. Hope you all have a great day/night! :) -Danielle <3

Izuku Midoriya:

If you don’t tell him ahead of time that you’re going to be on your period and you snap at him he’s gonna get so upset

Like he’s going to think about every little thing that happened for the past few weeks and try to see where he went wrong

Then when you tell him you’re on your period, he’s going to just freeze, and then start to panic

His face gets all red, but he still asks if you if you need anything

If you send this boy to the store to get pads/tampons, expect him to be gone for a solid few hours

When he firsts gets to aisle, he stands there, because he knows absolutely nothing about pad/tampons, and he doesn’t know what brand to get

So then, he takes out his phone and starts typing, and trying to do research, but google isn’t helping him decide what to get at all

So, then the nice old lady restocking the shelves, offers to help, noticing how he’s panicking

He still ends up getting a few different brands, but that’s okay

If you get bad cramps, like really bad, he’s definitely going to cry

He hates seeing you in pain

If you are having cramps he’ll give you some medicine he bought and offer you a heating pad

After he gets you feeling a little better, he’s going to give you all the snacks he got you and offer to cuddle and watch whatever you want with him

Overall, even though he gets really embarrassed about it, he’ll still help you if you need him to

Katsuki Bakugou:

If you snap at him, he’s going to like brush it off, but after the second or third time he’s going to go off on you

But once you tell him you’re on your period he’s going to be so confused

Not because he doesn’t know what it is, but because he has no clue what he’s supposed to do about it

He’ll apologize for going off on you

By apologize I mean that he’ll mumble sorry under his breath so that you can barely hear it

But I mean it’s Bakugou, so just take what you can get

He probably wouldn’t offer to go anywhere to get you anything

But if you ask him, he’ll go (Only after complaining the whole time getting ready to leave though)

He’s going to make sure you tell him what brand of pads/tampons to get so he doesn’t have to embarrass himself in front of people in the store

If the cashier says one word about him buying them or gives him a weird look, he’s going to get very pissed

“They’re for my girlfriend, now stop giving me weird ass looks and comments and just scan the damn things!”

He’ll probably end up grabbing more snacks or chocolate than you asked for but if you ask why he did that, he’s going to say it was a total accident, even though it wasn’t

After he brings you the stuff he’ll just crash in your bed, and demand cuddles

But he won’t ask, he’ll just pull you to him and cuddle you

The first time you’re on your period around him, he’s pretty embarrassed but hides it, but with time, he gets used to it and it doesn’t bother him anymore

Although no matter if he’s sixteen and buying pads/tampons for you or seventy and buying pads/tampons for you, he’s still going to end up yelling at the poor cashier, even if they don’t comment or give him a look

Eijiro Kirishima:

I may be a bit biased because I absolutely love Kirishima (if you couldn’t tell), but I am convinced that he would be the best boyfriend in every way

And that includes when you’re on your period

If you snap at him, he’s going to get a little upset, but immediately ask what’s wrong and try to figure out what the issue is

After you tell him, he’s going to panic but hide it so he doesn’t alarm you

Immediately offers to go get you anything you need

But he’s so eager to help you out, he forgets to ask what brand of pads or tampons to buy 

So now he’s in the feminine hygiene product aisle, standing next to some twelve year old girl whose low key too embarrassed to grab a box of pads in front of some teenage boy

So she’s just standing there, waiting for him to leave, but he’s trying to figure out which box to buy, so he’s like looking at all of them and picking them up, trying to figure out the difference between all of them

And the girl goes to quickly grab a box and run off, but then he speaks

“Wait, can you help me?”

And the girl low key just wants to disappear right then and there, but she helps him anyway

This man walks away with a few different brands of pads/tampons in his arms not realizing he just traumatized some little girl by asking her for advice on getting his girlfriend pads/tampons

Then he grabs you some snacks, medicine, and whatever else you wanted, before checking out and leaving

He like rushes home because he was taking so long and he was worried about you

But when he like bursts into your room, you’re literally fine, and just chilling eating some stale chips, and watching some Netflix

Kirishima immediately takes away your stale chips, and gives you the stuff he bought

So now you guys are eating the new and not stale chips while binge watching your favorite Netflix show for the fiftieth time

Shoto Todoroki:

I only have three words: Human Heating Pad

But seriously, if you have cramps, and you tell him heat helps, he’s definitely going to offer for you to use his hand as a heating pad

Once he learns that you’re on your period, he’s going to try his best to help, but he knows nothing about them despite having a sister

After taking a moment to compose himself after initial shock of you telling him, he’s going to offer to go to the store for you

So, now he’s in the aisle, trying to figure out what brand to get

He had tried calling you, but you must of been napping, because you didn’t pick up

Eventually he decides to call his sister and ask for some help

His sister proceeds to tell him about pads and tampons and how they work

He ends up writing some of the stuff down in his notes on his phone so he knows for next time and doesn’t forget

Then he’ll get whatever else you want

He’ll probably end up grabbing something extra too

Like a little gift such a plushie or a necklace, since he now knows periods really suck

He ends up getting you a gift every time your on your period (with Endeavor’s credit card of course), so it kind of morphs into a little tradition even though you insist that he doesn’t need to do it

But once he returns to home, you apologize for not answering, since you were in fact napping, but he quickly shuts you down and gives you everything he had got for you

Then you use his hand as your personal heating pad and talk about your lives

Overall, he’s pretty calm about the situation, and doesn’t make it a bigger deal than it needs to be

Denki Kaminari:

When you snap, or if you snap, he’s probably just going to brush it off

But the second time you snap at him, he makes some dumb remark

Probably something like, “Damn is it that time of the month or something?”

That gets him a textbook to his face

He’s honestly surprised with your response to his question

“Actually, yeah! Asshole! Now, if you’re gonna be a jerk, get the hell out and leave me alone!”

He was only joking and didn’t expect you to actually say yes

After you admit that you being on your period is the problem, he doesn’t know what to do

He knows the basics of a period, he knows you bleed, and like chocolate, and you sometimes get cramps, but other than that he has no idea how to handle the situation

After a moment of trying to figure out what to do, he asks if you need anything

Now he’s in the store, trying to figure out what a ‘flow’ is, and why pads and tampons are so expensive

He ends up calling Kirishima to come help, who has no clue what to do either

Then they turn it into a group call by adding Bakugou and Sero

Bakugou calls them ‘fucking stupid’ but doesn’t know shit about periods either so when they ask him for help he makes up some excuse for not telling Kaminari what to do

Sero is actually helpful and tells him to just get one of each type of flow, since Kaminari refuses to call you and ask (R.I.P. Kaminari’s wallet)

Kaminari thanks him, and then they end the call

Then he gets whatever else you asked for, before heading home

When he gets there, he awkwardly hands you the bag and asks if you need anything else

When you say you want him to stay, he’s immediately jumping into your bed and cuddling with you

He thought since you were on your period, you wouldn’t want to be around him and it low key made him kind of sad, cause he would miss you

Then you guys spend the rest of the night scrolling through Tik Tok, and laughing along to videos

At some point, you end up seeing the thing girls do on Tik Tok where they ask their boyfriend’s how pads work

When Kaminari continues watching the video, and learns how pads actually work, he’s like turns to you and is like

“Wait, the sticky part doesn’t stick to your vagina?”

Somebody please help this poor idiot

#izuku midoriya #izuku midoriya x reader #izuku x reader #midoriya x reader #katsuki bakugou #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou x reader #katsuki x reader #eijiro kirishima #eijiro x reader #kirishima x reader #eijiro kirishima x reader #shoto todoroki #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki x reader #shoto x reader #denki x reader #kaminari x reader #denki kaminari #denki kaminari x reader #x reader #mha #bnha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #my hero academia #periods #period cramps #period comfort #headcanons

[ghost-like-pale]

a flinch is enough

info: the past never forgets, and techno never forgives. 》 they/them 》 in canon + platonic 》 1.4k words

warnings: sexual assault, explicit descriptions of murder/blood, hurt/comfort, swearing

a/n: this was a request from my beautiful 🌹 anon, thank you for sending this in. i made the implications of sexual assault a a little more subtle but i still hope you like it.

this blog it meant as a way of coping with trauma/mental issues, please don't report it. if you don't want to see what i write, please just block me.

——♤——

the moonlit sky was a beautiful dark blue as you stared at the light. you had been doing housework the entire day due to your counterpart being too busy with whatever he was brewing upstairs. the piglin hybrid usually helped you when he was home, it's his house after all. but today was different, you supposed.

you were so caught up in the moon's doings that you didn't notice the tall figure creeping down the stairs and right behind you. he assumed you were aware of him and went to tap on your shoulder.

as soon as he does you whip your head around, backing away from him as you hold one arm in front of your face and the other in front of your lower body. the shaking of your body became more prominent as time went on.

"(y/n)?"

you couldn't look at him. you weren't strong enough.

"(y/n), please. look at me."

you lowered your arms hesitantly and looked him in the eyes still filled with fear.

"(y/n), i'm not going to hurt you. i promise."

you averted your gaze and drop both your arms. tears leaked out of your eyes and cupped your face with your hands, all the memories coming back and hitting you like a truck.

"i'm so sorry, techno."

you dropped to the floor, your knees buckling under you and techno barely being able to catch you. you felt a heavy, warm cape drape over your figure while a worried piglin grunt escaped techno's throat. he got on one knee and rested one of his hands on your shoulder.

"don't apologize."

two simple words managed to tug at your heartstrings so harshly you couldn't hold it in anymore. you sobbed loudly into your hands, completely losing any posture you tried to maintain. techno was startled, thinking he did something wrong. he quickly snapped out of it, however, and pulled your body by the shoulders into his chest. his firm grasp made you feel secure, stifling your cries a little.

"...are you alright?"

you knew he had no idea how to handle it from here, but you appreciated the concern and kindness he showed. you pulled back from his embrace and wiped your eyes gingerly.

"i'm.. a little better."

"good."

the voices wanted to know who did this - who made you this way. who the fuck hurt you? he tried to keep them quiet, but he wanted them dead as much as his mind.

"can you tell me what happened?"

everything was silent for a few seconds. the voices were quiet, nothing came out of techno's mouth. you sighed and shakily started explaining yourself. techno listened silently, trying to catch every detail and description of the man who scarred you. he had a basic image of him in his mind by the time you were done.

"thank you for telling me."

techno glanced outside the window, the soft glow of the moon telling him it's late. how long had he been brewing? he shuffled a bit and eventually stuck an arm under your legs and upper body. with a small yelp you were lifted a few feet in the air, the cape that you were siting under fell off your back and onto the floor in the proces.

"you need some rest."

you didn't bother trying to stop him. your mind was foggy and your body felt heavy.

"thank you, techno."

"shh, there's no need to thank me."

in comfortable silence you were carried up the stairs and into techno's room. you were confused, you had your own room after all. you didn't mind, though. he placed you on the mattress he slept on rarely. his bed was bigger, the blanket was heavier, the pillow was softer, everything felt better. you wrapped yourself in the plush blanket and felt your eyelids getting heavier already.

"sleep well, (y/n)."

just as he was about to stand up you grabbed a hold of his wrist. he looked at you quizzically, knitting his eyebrows together.

"where are you going?"

"don't worry, i won't be away for long. now sleep."

"fine. good night, techno."

"good night."

—

looking through his bag once more technoblade checked if he forgot to grab anything; he had food, arrows, ender pearls, potions and a small knife. on his hips hung his axe, crossbow and sword, yearning to be used. his bag was full and everything he needed was in his possession. before he opened the door techno noticed the red velvet fabric resting on the ground. with a few paces he arrived in the kitchen and picked up the cape. he swung it over his shoulders and adjusted it carefully. with a loud exhale he stepped out of his house and into the cold weather of the tundra. he whisteled a command and one of the wolves in the pack jumped out of the enclosure it sat in and rushed over to techno's side. he was going to find them.

you've shown him your previous residence multiple times, which is where he was going to look first. it was his best guess. while making his way over to your former abode the wolf that traveled with him was scouting out ahead, hoping it would find it faster than techno.

techno's eyes shoot in the animal's direction when it starts barking aggressively at a moving figure across the woods. the voices screamed at him to assist his pet, to shoot him, kill him immediately, to which he happily obliged. he sped over to his companion, hoping to catch a better glimpse of the person.

"stop him, now!"

techno ordered the animal. after a few seconds he heard a loud thud followed by a yell belonging to a man in immense pain. he made his way over to the barking wolf, it having a slightly stained mouth from its jaws going through the man's flesh and muscles. he found them.

"what's the rush?"

he towered over the other male pathetically writhing on the floor. his calf had a nasty teeth mark, bleeding profusely and covered in dirt and saliva.

"p-please... don't... hurt me!"

"why shouldn't i?"

technoblade hated these kind of men; not even willing to fight or run. just begging and whimpering for mercy. it made him sick. the wolf that followed him all the way here was still barking, ready to tear the man to shreds.

he takes his netherite axe off his hip and hoists it over his shoulder. techno looks the other man right in the eyes, fully aware it fills him with fear. he wanted to feel everything you were put through. he was going to feel your pain.

"i...i've never done anything to you..!"

technoblade froze at the sentence. nothing? he thinks he's done nothing? he's not completely wrong; he's never physically hurt him - he's never even met him before. his train of thought was interrupted by the voices yelling in his head. they were screaming at him to cut him, to strangle him, to burn him, anything. he needed to feel pain.

"does the name (y/n) mean anything to you?"

the horror on the man's face got worse by the second, him figuring out why techno is here. the piglin drops to one knee and gets about an inch away from his victim's face.

"am i going to get an answer?"

"y-yes! we were friends a few years ago."

techno let his axe fall off his shoulder and into the dirt, the blade only falling a few inches away from the other male's injured leg.

"do friends traumatize each other?"

the question filled the victim with dread, his monotone voice only adding to the fear.

"y-you don't know what we did!"

the sudden surge in confidence surprised techno, to be sure. there was nothing more pathetic than a man yelling at the brink of death in such a tone. he scoffed with an amused expression and retracted his axe back into the holder that rested on his hip.

"yeah! they were lying to you, i promise. that's the reason i stopped being friends in the first- GAH!"

his sentence was cut of by a dagger being plunged into his stomach and dragged up to his ribs, cutting open his body. he mewled and moaned in agonizing pain, unable to form any coherent words.

"you disgust me."

technoblade stood up, his ears twitching and voices pleased. the blood on his hand dripped on the dried leaves as he called the wolf he brought with him. as the animal sped over to technoblades' side the screams of the impaled man were completely gone. looking over his shoulder he sees the lifeless body of the man who has haunted you for a long time.

he'll never hurt you again.

——♤——

thank you for reading, hope you liked it.

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