#I feel so isolated and ostracized by my community that I genuinely want to leave — especially with it being juxtaposed by

[prismatoxic]

i've told parts of this story before, but bare with me, i'm emotional.

so like, i've had this blog since 2021. my original tumblr blog (made in 2011 iirc) was nuked in 2018 for exactly the reason you think (nsfw ban) and i didn't return for a handful of years because it stung so bad. even when i did, i mostly used twitter.

i started posting to tumblr more regularly when musk's twitter takeover finally pissed me off enough to ditch it. (i have since gone back, sort of, but am not reliably present and mostly just rt art people send me.) i've been pretty consistently here since then, sans a very angry break when all the shit with automattic's CEO happened.

and like... looking through my archives... i only made a dedicated tag for asks last july, even though i've been using an organizational tag system since i made this blog. that's how infrequent they were. my art usually got between 0 and 3 notes. when i left briefly back in january, i deleted every post in my art tag because i didn't want to leave my work here, but also, like... the only things that went anywhere were some of my mgs fanarts. no one owes anyone's work attention, but it didn't feel worth it, you know? like why share it with the public when i can just show it to the like 3 friends i know who care?

i came back partially because i felt... isolated. i have friends on the fediverse and on discord, but tumblr gave me a sense of being in a community, even if i didn't feel like an important part of said community. i missed queuing funny posts to enjoy weeks later, i missed being kept sort of in-the-loop about fandom goings-on, i missed my friends who were still here. (and that last one is also part of why i check twitter more now.)

but that alone wasn't enough, because i was a nobody here and it probably wasn't worth it to try again. but then devot and i started watching dungeon meshi, and i got into chilaios just like i thought i would, and tumblr has the largest concentration of chilaios fanart and posts. not only that, but every post i saw in the tag had so much engagement! i didn't see a single one that went unnoticed, back in february. so i hesitantly came back. i started reblogging chilaios posts. i didn't intend to try and break into the space because i knew it'd just hurt if i went unnoticed again, like i did in other fandoms.

but i made friends, little by little. i started a fanfic. i cautiously began posting my art again. i started writing meta, and shitposts, and replying on other people's posts, and commenting on other people's fics, and now...

that ask tag i mentioned? there are 15 pages of posts with that tag on my blog. only 2 and a half of those pages are asks from before i got into dunmeshi. people talk to me--they care about my thoughts and my opinions, they compliment the things i make. i have a group of like, 30+ people i interact with regularly, many of which i now consider close friends. everything i post gets some attention, no matter what it is.

this isn't a humblebrag, it's just... a thank you. i can't really properly express the depths of the loneliness i've felt in the past. i was an outcast for a long time, and it was way worse pre-2019, but i don't think it's ever fully left me. i've been hurt very, very badly in the past, and i've been abandoned a lot, and i've been ostracized a lot. i've grown into who i am today both in spite of and because of all i've been through, and for that i wouldn't ever change it, but it was still hard.

so today, as i turn 29, seeing asks and gifts pour in to tell me happy birthday, and that i'm appreciated... just, thank you.

if there's one thing you can give me today, it's this: reblog someone's art or writing or meta with some enthusiastic tags. send someone a friendly ask. reply to someone's post to comment on something they've said. write comments on ao3 for the fics that move you, no matter how much or how little you can think of to say.

this is going to sound cheesy as hell, but i genuinely mean it: reach out, and spread joy, whenever and wherever you can. you never know who's in pain, who's lonely or who feels worthless. and if it's you who feels that way, do what you can anyway; a community that isn't afraid to reach out will reach back to you, too. and you're not alone. i care, i promise--and more people than you realize do too.

it's so easy to underestimate how much a kind word can do. they add up, though. so keep going.

#tox.txt

[haruchiyos]

.

#I feel as if I’ve abandoned my oc community and the accounts associated with it #I’ve been invested in/building my ocs and world since I was 12 so these stories are very near to me #however the community itself is horrible and overwhelmingly toxic #and I as someone that tends to keep to myself (and as a result keep my circle of people small) #constantly gets labeled as an elitist or stuck up etc #and it hurts bc I’m not like that #dc is also not really accepted there and someone literally tried to ‘expose’ me as a rape apologist bc I #included rape in one of my ocs backstories #people need to learn the difference between dark content and harmful content #I feel so isolated and ostracized by my community that I genuinely want to leave — especially with it being juxtaposed by #how much of a warm welcome and positivity I’ve received here #it hurts and I love all my ocs rps and ships however I really don’t feel welcome anymore #I keep telling my followers and mutuals I’ll be back at the end of April but if Idk if that’s going to happen. I genuinely hate the way #the community makes me feel #I’m tired of being idolaized and targeted and having everyone compare their stories/ocs/worlds to my own #I genuinely want to cry

[immiryn]

On Otherkin Discourse & Kinnies

I don't feel like I have the right to ascribe intent to others the way some people do. It feels to me that assuming that most Kinnies are bad faith actors is a a terrible idea, because we are then lumping people who could grow into valuable community members because their experience is different in with trolls. Take the following point as an example:

We as Otherkin often say that you don't choose your kin-type. To us this feels like it is a form of truth, because to us, it is. That doesn't mean it's a universal truth. By telling other people that "you don't choose your kin-type", we are pushing our personal truths onto others. In the process, we exclude people who don't or can't necessarily understand that concept. Some people need to feel a degree of freedom in making choices so that they can feel more comfortable with themselves and their identities.

When we assume that everything is a threat to ourselves and our identities, we create an unhealthy, exclusionary mentality that others people for being different than our own experiences. We ignore the the fact that the person on the other end of the screen may in fact be A Real Person(tm) and discard all empathy and objectivity on the basis of a singular portion of a person's identity. It's absolutely disgusting, and it's a mindset that proliferates itself regardless of whether we genuinely engage in it or not.

Let's talk about how this exclusionary mindset plays out in communities - Discord servers in particular. I've been through a fair number since Discord released nearly six years ago, and I've seen how discourse surrounding trolls, cringe, and Kinning have impacted some of them.

The following is based on my experiences and may not be indicative of your community. YMMV. That being said, I observed this on a few servers - it was not isolated to one group of people. It is likely more common than you think.

Generally speaking, it seems that people who aren't able to engage in genuine/good-faith discourse tend to be people who are easily influenced, or who want to engage but can't develop an opinion on their own, or otherwise who don't care and will just fit in with others "for the lulz". These people tend to band together and create the bandwagon for others to ride on, especially if there's a particularly loud voice to ride with. Those who are able to think critically can often get caught up in these echo chambers due to peer pressure.

The people who aren't willing to hop on the bandwagon and who are genuinely willing to offer criticism on the behavior and why we should be empathetic towards the targeted group get ostracized. They leave. Negative behaviors become reinforced, and admins and moderators are often complicit with this. They may even reach across Discord servers to inform other communities of people they've spurned.

People spin up hateposts about the most outspoken individuals, regardless of whether those people were good faith or not.

We wind up back where we started. A bunch of outcasts, similar in experiences but not united. We cast each other on the pyre, and we tell those who might genuinely seek community to jump in. The fire's warm, after all. Don't mind how your soul singes, that just tells you that you feel welcomed.

#otherkin #dragonkin #alterhuman #discourse #opinion

[rivetgoth]

I guess functionally I’m like. Bi and polyamorous but idk how I even feel about applying any labels to anything I feel regarding relationships. Which sorta sucks because I do think the nice thing about labels is it gives a way to easily identify yourself within a community but I feel wildly uncomfortable with any certain language when it comes to relationship. “Homoflexible” would probably be what I feel most drawn to but I don’t really care to pinpoint it and functionally just saying I’m gay I think is fine. I kind of just want to be open to being with anybody who I care about in whatever way we both want as is established via communicating ahead of time and like. That’s that. I don’t even really know if I WANT “a relationship,” especially because the idea of marriage continuously becomes less and less appealing and I’m drawn more and more to an idea of relationship that’s a lot more open and broad and defined only on a person-by-person basis where wants and needs are discussed and fulfilled and like. That’s really it. I feel like everyone has so much to offer as unique individuals and I want to be able to experience that with as many people as I can who I care about and who care about me I guess. I’ve like never in my life told a “crush” I like them cuz to be honest it doesn’t really matter to me what the dynamic of a relationship is as long as both people are communicating and happy and fulfilled and idk. That’s not to shit at all on monogamy or marriage or ANYTHING and I think the tradition of marriage or monogamy for life can be like a genuinely beautiful gesture to like really show a commitment to another but it’s absolutely stupid to act like that’s the only way love can be expressed especially since the very idea of marriage is like... only as real as you make it. Like there’s nothing inherently real or legitimate about any of it. Just like any other aspect of relationship it’s just based in communicating an agreement between two people to express their care for each other you know. And frankly with how steeped marriage is in religion and especially Christian religion and the government and legal matters and the way it’s been weaponized so often against marginalized individuals I really don’t feel any attachment to it at this point whatsoever. I think I’m really really drawn to the way relationship and love is defined in gay male communities in the 20th century and the attempts made to answer the question of what concepts like “love“ and “relationship” even MEAN to people who have been so rejected from and isolated from mainstream society that the very idea of their love is seen as something deserving of punishment or ostracization and considered immoral at best and literally illegal at worst. Like, socially their experiences aren’t even apart of these terms so where does that leave you? Redefining these ideas in a way that exists outside of the normal definition of them and just like... embracing love and connection to people and the world and figuring out what you want with each individual situationally and just like, experiencing that. Idk.

#gay men read Andrew Holleran’s ‘Dancer From the Dance’ and become relationship anarchists. #(I’m gay men). #also I don’t actually like the term relationship anarchy really I’m just goofing

[icarianfate-blog]

Something that’s very important to me and I don’t budge on is Regulus’s continued attachment to his family and connections in the elitist pureblood society. There’s a few reasons for this, which I’ll go into here.

1. Life is Messy

Did Regulus grow thanks to his exposure to the darkest parts of his community, the reality behind their beliefs and his views become less bigoted over time? Yes. But the fact he no longer views muggleborns as filth doesn’t eradicate a lifetime of indoctrination, a need for human connection, a justified fear of rejection, still loving your family even when they’re awful, or utterly pragmatic needs like business partnerships. He’s not Sirius or Andromeda, for Regulus utterly removing himself from the society they were raised in is not an option. Life is messy and sometimes you’re the liberal-ish gay cousin at christmas dinner trying to fend off war flashbacks because your baby cousin just said the word “lake”. 

Regulus -- like Draco -- became a Death Eater at 16 and in canon died at 18. By the end of the second war Regulus is 36. He saw and did terrible things at an incredibly young age, then had to totally restructure his whole world view alone with no one to really talk to about it and rebuild his entire life-- all while dealing with the physical, psychological and social consequences of his actions. While it doesn’t take him long at all to mellow out, it does take him longer to defrag his ideology and figure out what the hell he does believe now and how to express those new beliefs accurately. Basically the man’s a mess and that’s really to be expected.

2. Portraying the Spectrum

I also feel it’s very important to have people who fall more on the “Bad Side” who are well, not so bad. While on paper these topics are very black and white in reality they’re not always so clean cut. Something I’ve always hated about Harry Potter is that until about the last 2 books there’s basically not a single “Good” Slytherin even mentioned let alone seen. Yes there are people like Severus who are there from the start, but he’s not revealed to be a “Good Slytherin” until the very end, the rest of the time he’s portrayed as one of the worst ones. This always just pissed me off so much, it’s just such an unnecessary and trite demonization of a whole group-- worse, a group of children. Yes it’s the most likely place for the Dracos of the world to end up, but that doesn’t mean every single child who was ever sorted into it is a Death Eater in the making. But we never see those Slytherins and it really, really pisses me off.

Regulus is not a “Good Person” in the sense he was always secretly good and eventually ~~broke free of the evil mind control and is now Pure again~~. I hesitate to even call him a good person honestly, even though his last and only canon acts speak to someone who is unwavering good and self-sacrificing. In his youth he genuinely believed in some truly terrible things but he had his own inherit limits and morals he could not sacrifice even for his family and their beliefs. That’s important, not everyone on that side is a Bellatrix, and while being less awful than Bellatrix doesn’t exactly earn you a medal it does speak to the spectrum. He’s not the best, but he’s definitely not the worst. 

By the time the first war is over Regulus is on a knife’s edge at the near perfect center of the spectrum between acceptance and bigotry. He’s proof that a Slytherin coming from the most stereotypical, toxic pureblood upbringing with all the classic Slytherin traits can still buck a lot of the script and actually manage to not be a complete bastard. 

3. Never Burn Bridges You Could Still Use

In true Slytherin fashion, we come to a manipulative, Game of Thrones-y  reason. This is one of the key reasons for him IC and also one of the things I think can be difficult for people to get or swallow. Where most people likely feel that the only correct option would be to pull a Sirius and disown the family-- that they themselves could never stomach putting up with all the heinous things these pureblood types say and cannot imagine someone who doesn’t believe it doing just that for any reason-- the fact is that’s not always the right move, and that there are people who can do it just fine. 

Regulus isn’t a fool. He’s the well-educated, intelligent son of a rich, prominent pureblood family with lots of connections all over the place in the wizarding community who got sorted into the “win or die trying” house. Publicly renouncing half or more of those connections is frankly a terrible idea for him to do on so many levels. He loses a LOT of power, access and leverage he could actually use to do things that could actually be a boon in the long run. While unlike Severus he wasn’t --and likely doesn’t become a spy ( though that is up for debate )-- those connections could be vital for his continued survival and provide a means of keeping tabs on enemies. 

Why on earth would he run around making enemies of everyone he could still use? How does that help anyone? Especially when he’s already mastered the art of placating and maneuvering these types of people.

4. Love, Sentimentality and Loyalty are just as Powerful Weaknesses as Strengths

Something we actually get from canon is that Regulus is an unquestionably loving, loyal and compassionate person. When he has Kreacher take him to the cave he drinks the potion, he sacrifices himself. This is not something someone who is not at their core compassionate, empathetic and loving does. He saw the effects the potion had on Kreacher, he heard what he had gone through, and when the time came he refused to make the elf go through that again. 

"And he order-- Kreacher to leave-- without him. And he told Kreacher -- to go home-- and never to tell my Mistress-- what he had done-- but to destroy-- the first locket. And he drank-- all the potion-- and Kreacher swapped the lockets-- and watched ... as Master Regulus ... was dragged beneath the water ... and ..."

"[...] that Regulus changed his mind ... but he doesn't seem to have explained that to Kreacher, does he? And I think I know why. Kreacher and Regulus's family were all safest if they kept to the old pure-blood line. Regulus was trying to protect them all." "[...]  I've said all along that wizards would pay for how they treat house-elves. Well, Voldemort did ... and so did Sirius." [...] I do not think Sirius ever saw Kreacher as a being with feelings as acute as a human's ...

This core of kindness and empathy is both what ended up causing him to defect and also what keeps him tied to what family and friends he has left. It’s hard, especially when you are so loyal and loving to cut out people who you’ve known your whole life, who you love and love you back. Bellatrix is a monster she’s easy to cut out but Narcissa? How could he really cut ties with one of his only living relatives, who’s likely his favorite cousin? Who is herself a fiercely loving and loyal woman? It would take a lot for him to finally cut ties with his loved ones still in the purist community and it’s frankly one of his greatest failings. 

5. No One likes a Former Death Eater

The cruel fact of the matter is that regardless of your reformation most people will not accept or acknowledge it and treat you like you are still a monster. Regulus could try -- and does try-- to integrate more with the mainstream, but it’ll always be met with mixed success at best because he was a Death Eater. Unless he moved to a different country, it’d be difficult to really start over again completely with any real solid success. The majority of the wizarding world socially ostracizes him while still engaging with him on a business and political level because of his status. The only people who still want to have a cuppa with him are all in the same boat as him, bigots or purist sympathizers. 

He’s human, and however much he’d like to gripe about people and wanting to be left alone forever to become a hermit he craves interaction, especially since he himself is an intensely social extroverted person. If he cuts these people out of his life he basically has no one to talk to anymore and he’s left totally isolated, which would frankly lead to much worse and dangerous places for him. 

6. Someone here has to be the Voice of Reason

Having literally no one in that community who isn’t a total nightmare is asking for trouble. Not only because it allows the toxicity to stew and intensify unchecked but it also means no one is there to try and help the younger generations break free of the cycle. If he just left like Andromeda and Sirius he’s just making it worse by removing a more moderate voice from the communal discussion. It’s not even about trying to show them the error of their ways, that’s in fact a terrible way to go about things with people like this. It’s about diluting the toxic ideology, providing the less dangerous paths and laying out the framework that can act as the basis for someone else’s journey out of the quagmire. 

For example, when looking at cults and hate groups, the worst way to reach those people is by trying to point out everything wrong and arguing with them, it only entrenches them more. You make more progress by staying close and quietly slipping in the information and tools they need to work things out themselves. Telling someone they’re in a destructive cult will get you nothing, but telling them about this book you read about some terrible cult and all the signs of one you learned from it and isn’t that just wild? These people are bad news huh? Here give it a read yourself-- Is far more effective in the long run. 

By being there he acts as a moderate, neutral adult figure who the children can both model and look to for support. He’s much safer than most of their families and willing to be the sounding board for their own debates and give advice from a place of having literally been right where they are now. He can act as a mid-point between the extremely insular and toxic pureblood community, the mainstream wizarding world, and thanks to his time in hiding, the muggle world for purebloods looking to escape or just broaden themselves.

#meta tbt. #reference tbt. #i'm not formatting this more than it is bc i don't hate myself #and i'm not bothering with a cut bc fuck the police #hc tbt #ooc tbt

[rays-of-fire-and-ice]

When I think of where Toshiro started to where he ended up, I can’t help but be amazed

Toshiro Hitsugaya is one of my favourite characters in anime and manga, and despite being a side character, I feel like quite a bit went into him - from his role in the Soul Society arc to the core traits of who he is and the struggles that brought out the more versatile, relatable parts of him. His backstory and character progression are genuinely interesting to me, as are the relationships he holds with those around him. So with this in mind, I started to think about how he started in life and where he ended up, and this was the result:

This is the boy who started out in life like this:

He was an outcast, alone and isolated from everyone except Hinamori and his Granny. We have no idea about his parents, whether he died and came to Soul Society or was born there (though it has been hinted to be the latter).

He doesn’t understand why people are scared of and mistreat him; he chalks up to his appearance and ‘cool disposition’. Whether his disposition is something he was born with or the result of his ostracism we may never know. What we obviously do know if is that he’s far more than just that. We see that he dearly loves his Granny; his smile, small and gentle, is reserved for her. He teases Momo and tells her to never come back, reassures himself by saying “she’ll be back” when his Granny asks if he’ll miss her. He even keeps track of her progress over the years, noting her drive for another goal and that she doesn’t spend much time in Junrinan anymore. He even subtly shows concern for her health (i.e the length of her hair).

He also became confused by a reoccurring dream, which he had for at least five years. In the end, it turns out it was Hyourinmaru trying to communicate with him and make him learn his name. It’s only recently when I reread this moment that I realised Hyourimaru seemed pretty desperate for Hitsugaya to learn his name. As we know, Zanpakuto spirits are a manifestation of a Shinigami’s soul. Hyourinmaru has been acknowledged to be the most powerful ice-type Zanpakuto, and we see his effect on his grandmother. Hyourinmaru is part of Hitsugaya’s soul, and he knows who his master cares about. I’m starting to believe that Hyourinmaru was desperate for Toshiro to learn his name so that he wouldn’t freeze his Grandmother to death, and also so he could learn to control his powers slowly and not be overwhelmed by them.

In any event, he discovered he was unknowingly and slowly killing one of the two people he deeply cared about, and had to leave to save her. He’s only this young, and he is confronted with an obstacle like this. He even shed tears and wept when he found out his Granny saw his loneliness and knew that he was ‘holding himself back’ for her sake. He knew he had to protect her, but it was at the cost of going out into a world that he thought would never accept him.

From there, a whole bunch of stuff happens:

He graduated the Academy in one year and was considered a prodigy.

He achieved bankai before he even became a member of the Gotei 13.

If you want to consider ‘The DiamondDust Rebellion’ as canon, all of the stuff with Kusaka was traumatising for him and affected with way he saw himself, the Soul Society, and Hyourinmaru. Was he truly worthy of wielding this Zanpakuto? How could the Soul Society allow something like this to happen? And the fact he never told anyone what happened would have a massive impact on his psyche…but yet he still went forward, not looking back.

If you want to consider track 8 of the drama disc as canon, he learned the name of his Zanpakuto before his acceptance into the Gotei 13, and was able to do so because of his sheer will to protect Momo. Again, so young and he was able to feel this strongly about something and accomplish a feat that usually took years for most adult Shinigami

He got into the tenth division and was reunited with Rangiku, the woman who showed him the way forward to discovering his potential and how to save his Granny.

His captain abandoned the Soul Society without any warning or explanation, and he worked hard to achieve bankai and take over a division that he became the head of (if the translated exerts of ‘Can’t Fear Your own World’ are anything to go by) only 2-10 years before the main storyline. Yet it is clearly expressed that between him and Rangiku, they work hard to make it run smoothly, able to use their differences together to bring out a lot of strengths in themselves and their division: “Those in charge of Tenth Company are the workaholic captain and the assistant captain who deftly pushes work onto the captain. For some reason, this arrangement works well for them. This duo is well liked in the company, and things run smoothly as a result.”

He’s only this young and already he had the responsibility for the lives of an entire division on his shoulders.

Then, in the main storyline, in the short span of just a few months, he goes through:

Being manipulated into believing Gin was up to no good and telling Hinamori to make her suspect and attack Gin.

Witnessing Momo, one of the most important people in his life, go through hell and grief after the loss of her captain and is forced to have her locked in a cell. He then found the last words of said captain that were addressed to Momo and be conflicted about going with his mind (giving in the letter as evidence) or his heart (giving it to Momo).

Having to take Rangiku’s relationship with Gin into account when suspecting Gin and knowing it will cause her to feel conflicted.

Having Hinamori pitted against him. While seeing her upset, conflicted and grieving, he never once raises his sword against her and tries to reason with her. When he, on instinct, knocked her unconscious, he is shocked by what he did and sees she was so conflicted and grief-stricken that her hands were bleeding from a death-grip on her sword.

Discovers that the majority of the orders from the higher-up were fake this whole time, leaving his to question everything he and the others have been doing until this point.

Races back to save Hinamori when he discovers she was following him all the way to Central 46, all the while chastising himself for feeling he should have known her more than anyone else.

Sees Momo dying, having been stabbed by the one man he knew she admired more than anyone else in the world, and fails to cut down her attacker.

Is so stricken by what happened to Momo that (according to the ‘Honey Dish Rhapsody’) he is unable to hide the grief from his usually stoic features and visits her (even though he has no idea what he can say or do for her). He knew his choice of going with his heart – of giving her the letter – ultimately fell right into Aizen’s hands and set Momo’s grief-fuelled actions into motion.

While in the World of Living, he confronts a [then] unknown powerful enemy and talks with Momo for the first time in weeks, forgiving her instantly when she tries to apologise…only to discover she hasn’t fully recovered and is still stricken by what has happened. He is left alone to deal with the emotions that would eventually lead to one of the most traumatic events of his life.

Before fighting Halibel, he shows clear concern for Rangiku being compromised because of her relationship with Gin, and then while fighting Halibel, is so disturbed by Momo’s sudden appearance that he temporarily loses his control over his reiatsu. Then of course I can’t imagine what must been going through his mind between the point where Ayon took down both his lieutenant and childhood friend to when Hisagi and Izuru showed up to protect and heal them.

Finally gets the chance to confront the man that brought so much grief to those around Toshiro, and in particular Momo. However, it’s because of his unbridled hatred toward Aizen for what he did to Momo that he becomes willing to abandon everything he had built for himself up to this point (his captaincy, his principles, even his pride).

Is manipulated into stabbing Hinamori, her blood on his face, hands, and Zanpakuto; then holding said girl while going through the horror and anguish of having committed such an act, to the point where has a near mental breakdown and attacks Aizen in a blind rage.

Gets cut down and mocked again by Aizen. The wounds he gets inflicted with aren’t even enough to render him unconscious, so he lies amongst the ruins, watching the battle unfold above and no doubt thinking about the act he just committed against the one person he swore to protect.

Gets a new set of left limbs (I know losing your arm and/or leg in BLEACH is often treated as, well...nothing, but God it must have been weird for him to get a new arm and leg).

Only ten days after Aizen’s defeat, he’s already back up on his feet, training for Hinamori and blaming himself for his failure to protect her from harm.

Had to watch his lieutenant go through the grief of losing Gin, the man she loved, and the man that he once (and might still) loathed.

No doubt had to eventually see Hinamori during or after her recovery to come to terms with what happened both during and before the showdown with Aizen. I can only imagine the emotions that went through him all at once and the inevitable relief when they made up.

Then almost two years later, he:

Loses his Zanpakuto spirit, the being formed out of his soul. His reaction upon losing Hyourinmaru speaks volumes about their bond. He wasn’t just his weapon, he was his companion, both a mentor and a friend. His bond with Hyourinmaru, in a sense, is what Ichigo eventually develops with Zangetsu and Old Man Zangetsu: he fights along side Hyourinmaru, wields his power together with him. He even shows pride in his Zanpakuto by saying he finally refined his bankai until it became a ‘true bankai’.

Trains in zanjetsu and reflects on how he refined his bankai and how he has to move onward, regardless of what he has lost.

Faces Bazz-B, only to be severely injured and looks on in horror as Cang Du throws Matsumoto (who is dying) down near him while he is helpless to do anything.

Gets his bankai back through temporarily Hollowifcation and then falls unconscious.

Gets zombified (not to mention re-clothed in the enemy’s uniform) and then goes through the painful process of getting de-zombified at the hands of Mayuri. On a side note here, if there’s one thing that zombie Hitsugaya showed us it’s that Toshiro was actively restraining himself in battle this whole time; perhaps because he was still fearful of what he was capable of doing. We see that even when he is stripped of all of his humanity, he doesn’t become a savage fighter. His way of fighting against Yumichika and Ikkaku was cold, harsh, and skilled, aiming to get the job done rather then savour the thrill or savagery that one might expect from someone who has become (basically) a mindless killing machine. It showed he is capable of infliciting a lot of damage to his enemies, but perhaps because of his morality/humanity and the fear of his own abilities, he chooses to restrain himself.

Has lost a ‘great amount’ of his lifespan as a result of the de-zombifying process.

Has to come to terms with the casualties of the war (members of his division, Yamamoto, & Jushiro just to name a few) and help rebuild the Soul Society.

And after all of this, from his childhood to the above mentioned events, he ends up like this:

He smiles so openly and freely, expresses how he feels to those around him, and his frown is barely present. In those ten years, he finally got the peace he needed after all the trauma/fighting he went through from both Aizen’s betrayal and the war against the Quincy. But above all else, he went through trauma and not only survived, but remained the strong, determined character he is and has grown as a person. We saw signs of his growth in the very last arc where he had his small monologue about moving forward regardless of what has been lost (though this is a trait that has been hinted at in previous arc too) thanked Mayuri (a person he and most Shinigami can’t stand), joked and had comedic moments with Byakuya [of all people], doesn’t seem to really care about his height as much as he use to (according to Kubo), and of course, the facial expressiveness in the second last chapter.

And some people say there wasn’t any depth in his character at all?! For a side character, he got quite a bit of development, plot-threads, and backstory given to him. Whether it was intentional or not, I felt Kubo brought a lot of Toshiro’s character out through implication rather then what he made obvious about his character.

Is it the most complicated storytelling device to use? No, definitely not. But I personally appreciate this subtly, as it allowed me to piece together who Toshiro was and how he became the way he did and spoke bigger volumes about who he truly was compared to what we were obviously shown/told. For instance, not going into a great amount of detail about their past together allowed me to feel rather than just see the decades of history between Toshiro and Momo, how their bond was important to both of their characters and made both the smallest and largest of changes to them when it was tested. It also showed Toshiro deeply cares about Momo and that those he considers to be close are incredibly important to him - even though his obviously icy exterior would suggest otherwise. Also, this subtlety in that single panel/short of Toshiro glancing back at Rangiku allowed me to see how much he cared about her before they fought against Halibel and her fraccion, and how he knew her relationship with Gin might complicate things for her; and all of this was done through implication. (I apologise if none of this or the previous paragraph made any sense, I can’t really think of a better way to describe it.)

I have never been as invested with two characters as much as I have been with Hitsugaya and Momo. I could rave and rant about how proud and happy I am for how far Momo has come as well, but that’s another post for another day.

In the end, to see Toshiro Hitsugaya, an outcast who had trouble building interpersonal relations and expressing himself, end up where he is (smiling so openly and enjoying 10 years of peace, with seemingly many more peaceful years to come), it makes me tear up. I have loved this kid for eight years now and will continue to marvel at how far he has come.

#long analysis and appreciation post under the cut #toshiro hitsugaya #hitsugaya toshiro #toushirou hitsugaya #bleach #tenth division #my boy #character analysis #sorry for any typos #and any events in his life I missed #brought to you by the random musings of a bored fan XD #my posts

[gedwimora]

Reposting this instead of just reblogging this from Regulus’ main bc it’s Very Long and I originally made the choice to not cut it because of its importance, which was fine for his main but on here it’s a bit much imo. So naturally I’ve had to repost in order to cut.

Something that’s very important to me and I don’t budge on is Regulus’s continued attachment to his family and connections in the elitist pureblood society. There’s a few reasons for this, which I’ll go into here.

1. Life is Messy

Did Regulus grow thanks to his exposure to the darkest parts of his community, the reality behind their beliefs and his views become less bigoted over time? Yes. But the fact he no longer views muggleborns as filth doesn’t eradicate a lifetime of indoctrination, a need for human connection, a justified fear of rejection, still loving your family even when they’re awful, or utterly pragmatic needs like business partnerships. He’s not Sirius or Andromeda, for Regulus utterly removing himself from the society they were raised in is not an option. Life is messy and sometimes you’re the liberal-ish gay cousin at christmas dinner trying to fend off war flashbacks because your baby cousin just said the word “lake”.

Regulus – like Draco – became a Death Eater at 16 and in canon died at 18. By the end of the second war Regulus is 36. He saw and did terrible things at an incredibly young age, then had to totally restructure his whole world view alone with no one to really talk to about it and rebuild his entire life– all while dealing with the physical, psychological and social consequences of his actions. While it doesn’t take him long at all to mellow out, it does take him longer to defrag his ideology and figure out what the hell he does believe now and how to express those new beliefs accurately. Basically the man’s a mess and that’s really to be expected.

2. Portraying the Spectrum

I also feel it’s very important to have people who fall more on the “Bad Side” who are well, not so bad. While on paper these topics are very black and white in reality they’re not always so clean cut. Something I’ve always hated about Harry Potter is that until about the last 2 books there’s basically not a single “Good” Slytherin even mentioned let alone seen. Yes there are people like Severus who are there from the start, but he’s not revealed to be a “Good Slytherin” until the very end, the rest of the time he’s portrayed as one of the worst ones. This always just pissed me off so much, it’s just such an unnecessary and trite demonization of a whole group– worse, a group of children. Yes it’s the most likely place for the Dracos of the world to end up, but that doesn’t mean every single child who was ever sorted into it is a Death Eater in the making. But we never see those Slytherins and it really, really pisses me off.

Regulus is not a “Good Person” in the sense he was always secretly good and eventually ~~broke free of the evil mind control and is now Pure again~~. I hesitate to even call him a good person honestly, even though his last and only canon acts speak to someone who is unwavering good and self-sacrificing. In his youth he genuinely believed in some truly terrible things but he had his own inherit limits and morals he could not sacrifice even for his family and their beliefs. That’s important, not everyone on that side is a Bellatrix, and while being less awful than Bellatrix doesn’t exactly earn you a medal it does speak to the spectrum. He’s not the best, but he’s definitely not the worst.

By the time the first war is over Regulus is on a knife’s edge at the near perfect center of the spectrum between acceptance and bigotry. He’s proof that a Slytherin coming from the most stereotypical, toxic pureblood upbringing with all the classic Slytherin traits can still buck a lot of the script and actually manage to not be a complete bastard.

3. Never Burn Bridges You Could Still Use

In true Slytherin fashion, we come to a manipulative, Game of Thrones-y  reason. This is one of the key reasons for him IC and also one of the things I think can be difficult for people to get or swallow. Where most people likely feel that the only correct option would be to pull a Sirius and disown the family– that they themselves could never stomach putting up with all the heinous things these pureblood types say and cannot imagine someone who doesn’t believe it doing just that for any reason– the fact is that’s not always the right move, and that there are people who can do it just fine.

Regulus isn’t a fool. He’s the well-educated, intelligent son of a rich, prominent pureblood family with lots of connections all over the place in the wizarding community who got sorted into the “win or die trying” house. Publicly renouncing half or more of those connections is frankly a terrible idea for him to do on so many levels. He loses a LOT of power, access and leverage he could actually use to do things that could actually be a boon in the long run. While unlike Severus he wasn’t –and likely doesn’t become a spy ( though that is up for debate )– those connections could be vital for his continued survival and provide a means of keeping tabs on enemies.

Why on earth would he run around making enemies of everyone he could still use? How does that help anyone? Especially when he’s already mastered the art of placating and maneuvering these types of people.

4. Love, Sentimentality and Loyalty are just as Powerful Weaknesses as Strengths

Something we actually get from canon is that Regulus is an unquestionably loving, loyal and compassionate person. When he has Kreacher take him to the cave he drinks the potion, he sacrifices himself. This is not something someone who is not at their core compassionate, empathetic and loving does. He saw the effects the potion had on Kreacher, he heard what he had gone through, and when the time came he refused to make the elf go through that again.

“And he order– Kreacher to leave– without him. And he told Kreacher – to go home– and never to tell my Mistress– what he had done– but to destroy– the first locket. And he drank– all the potion– and Kreacher swapped the lockets– and watched … as Master Regulus … was dragged beneath the water … and …”

“[…] that Regulus changed his mind … but he doesn’t seem to have explained that to Kreacher, does he? And I think I know why. Kreacher and Regulus’s family were all safest if they kept to the old pure-blood line. Regulus was trying to protect them all.” “[…]  I’ve said all along that wizards would pay for how they treat house-elves. Well, Voldemort did … and so did Sirius.” […] I do not think Sirius ever saw Kreacher as a being with feelings as acute as a human’s …

This core of kindness and empathy is both what ended up causing him to defect and also what keeps him tied to what family and friends he has left. It’s hard, especially when you are so loyal and loving to cut out people who you’ve known your whole life, who you love and love you back. Bellatrix is a monster she’s easy to cut out but Narcissa? How could he really cut ties with one of his only living relatives, who’s likely his favorite cousin? Who is herself a fiercely loving and loyal woman? It would take a lot for him to finally cut ties with his loved ones still in the purist community and it’s frankly one of his greatest failings.

5. No One likes a Former Death Eater

The cruel fact of the matter is that regardless of your reformation most people will not accept or acknowledge it and treat you like you are still a monster. Regulus could try – and does try– to integrate more with the mainstream, but it’ll always be met with mixed success at best because he was a Death Eater. Unless he moved to a different country, it’d be difficult to really start over again completely with any real solid success. The majority of the wizarding world socially ostracizes him while still engaging with him on a business and political level because of his status. The only people who still want to have a cuppa with him are all in the same boat as him, bigots or purist sympathizers.

He’s human, and however much he’d like to gripe about people and wanting to be left alone forever to become a hermit he craves interaction, especially since he himself is an intensely social extroverted person. If he cuts these people out of his life he basically has no one to talk to anymore and he’s left totally isolated, which would frankly lead to much worse and dangerous places for him.

6. Someone here has to be the Voice of Reason

Having literally no one in that community who isn’t a total nightmare is asking for trouble. Not only because it allows the toxicity to stew and intensify unchecked but it also means no one is there to try and help the younger generations break free of the cycle. If he just left like Andromeda and Sirius he’s just making it worse by removing a more moderate voice from the communal discussion. It’s not even about trying to show them the error of their ways, that’s in fact a terrible way to go about things with people like this. It’s about diluting the toxic ideology, providing the less dangerous paths and laying out the framework that can act as the basis for someone else’s journey out of the quagmire.

For example, when looking at cults and hate groups, the worst way to reach those people is by trying to point out everything wrong and arguing with them, it only entrenches them more. You make more progress by staying close and quietly slipping in the information and tools they need to work things out themselves. Telling someone they’re in a destructive cult will get you nothing, but telling them about this book you read about some terrible cult and all the signs of one you learned from it and isn’t that just wild? These people are bad news huh? Here give it a read yourself– Is far more effective in the long run.

By being there he acts as a moderate, neutral adult figure who the children can both model and look to for support. He’s much safer than most of their families and willing to be the sounding board for their own debates and give advice from a place of having literally been right where they are now. He can act as a mid-point between the extremely insular and toxic pureblood community, the mainstream wizarding world, and thanks to his time in hiding, the muggle world for purebloods looking to escape or just broaden themselves.

#headcanon / regulus black.

[guidetoenjoy-blog]

DC Entertainment responds to turmoil over sexual harassment claims

New Post has been published on https://entertainmentguideto.com/must-see/dc-entertainment-responds-to-turmoil-over-sexual-harassment-claims/

DC Entertainment responds to turmoil over sexual harassment claims

In response to a recent outcry from fans and comics creators, DC Entertainment has released a statement addressing allegations of sexual harassment.

Published in Comic Book Resources(although not on DC’s own website or social media pages), the statement promises that DC will expand employee training and review policies regarding workplace discrimination.

DC Entertainment strives to foster a culture of inclusion, fairness and respect. While we cannot comment on specific personnel matters, DC takes allegations of discrimination and harassment very seriously, promptly investigates reports of misconduct and disciplines those who violate our standards and policies.

While the statement speaks in general terms, most people are interpreting it as a response to allegations about Eddie Berganza, a senior editor at DC.

For the past few months, Berganza has been the subject of unconfirmed rumors about a quarantine at the publishers Superman office, wherein DC allegedly avoided hiring women to avoid further sexual harassment incidents with a certain editor. In late April, a number of comics reporters and fans named Berganza as the editor in question, with writer/editor Janelle Asselin saying that she left DC due to the publishers lack of interest in holding him accountable for inappropriate behavior.

Yes, I was one of many who reported Eddie Berganza’s behavior in 2011. I left DC because they promoted him anyway.

Janelle Asselin (@gimpnelly) April 21, 2016

Back in 2012, the comics site Bleeding Cool suggested that Berganza was demoted from executive editor to group editor after a series of sexual harassment claims, specifying one incident that allegedly took place at WonderCon 2012 in front of witnesses. The idea of a Superman office quarantine was brought into the public eye in September 2015, ina blog post from comics writer Alex de Campi. However, what sparked the most recent debate was something seemingly unrelated to Berganza: DCs decision to “eliminate the job of popular Vertigo editor Shelly Bond.

Vertigo is the adult-oriented imprint that launched cult comics likeSandman,Preacher, and Y: The Last Man. Bond had worked there since the 90s and was promoted to CEO in 2013. It was unclear why she was let go when DC announced it was restructuring Vertigo last month, and the comics community wanted answers. Why was she leaving while DC continued to employ a man who, in the words of Alex de Campi, had multiple incidents on his HR file?”

Recently I ended up turning down a Supergirl job partly because I was nervous about working in proximity to Eddie Berganza.

Sophie Campbell (@mooncalfe1) April 21, 2016

I have friends with PTSD from Berganza and people like him. But yes, let’s fire the Shellys of the world.

Janelle Asselin (@gimpnelly) April 21, 2016

As reported by comics blog The Outhousers, this quickly snowballed into a public discussion about sexism and discrimination in comics publishing. One contribution wasa blog postfrom artist Katie Jones, stating, “I was sexually harassed and almost raped by a Senior Art Director from DC Entertainment,” describing an incident at San Diego Comic-Con.

After three weeks of back-and-forth on social media, DC’s only official response is its statement to Comic Book Resources, published on a Friday afternoon. Berganza, who still works at DC Comics, has not answered any requests for comment.

Let me make this unequivocal: Comics has a sexual harassment problem. It needs to stop. Men need to stand with female creators in support.

Jim Zub in Japan (@JimZub) April 25, 2016

As comics fans would be quick to point out, this isnt an isolated case, and it would be inaccurate and unfair to single out DC when similar things have happened at other major publishers.

Last October, the former editor-in-chief of Dark Horse Comics, Scott Allie, issued a public apology for biting and groping a writer during a party at San Diego Comic-Con (SDCC). The writer in question, Joe Harris, described the incident to Janelle Asselin at Graphic Policy, but the accusations didnt stop there. Graphic Policys report also cites several anonymous sources at Dark Horse, characterizing Allies behavior as threatening and volatile. One source claimed that he was nicknamed Bitey the Clown due to his habit of biting people while drunk. Several said that they reported his behavior through official channels and were assured that the problem was being investigated.

Brendan H. Wrightan editor who worked at Dark Horse for seven years before leaving last Septembertweeted that Dark Horse “worked to hush up” the incident at SDCC, despite other employees demanding that Allie be fired.

Just like Berganza, Allie was repeatedly promoted after bad behavior, including after last year’s SDCC.

Brendan H. Wright (@BrendanWasright) April 23, 2016

Before Allie’s most recent promotion, the ENTIRE Editorial department begged for his firing and were ignored.

Brendan H. Wright (@BrendanWasright) April 23, 2016

DH’s director of HR stressed to me Allie’s 20+ years at the company and the respect I should therefore show him in this matter.

Brendan H. Wright (@BrendanWasright) April 23, 2016

After Allie apologized for his conduct towards Harris last year, Dark Horse president Mike Richardson gave an extensive statement to The Beat, championing his own open-door policy with employees. While he applauded Asselins desire to expose sexual harassment in the industry, he added that no one here has ever turned a ‘blind eye’ to these behaviors, not in this case, not in any case.

The SDCC incident came to light less than a month after Allie was reassignedfrom editor-in-chief to executive senior editor. Its unclear whether this change was linked with harassment allegations, but Allie still holds an editorial role at Dark Horse and writes the ongoing comic Abe Sapien.

In 2013, Brian Wood (who has worked for DC, Marvel, Image, and Dark Horse, and is particularly well known for his original series DMZ) was accused of sexual harassment at SDCC. Artist Tess Fowler said that he feigned interest in her career before trying to get her to join him in his hotel room. Wood responded with a statement saying he had simply made a pass at Fowler, and that there was never a promise of quid pro quo.” He characterized the incident as a misunderstanding, adding, “I think the larger issues of abuse in the comics industry are genuine and I share everyones concerns.” (After naming Wood, Fowler tweeted, when I have 3 women in my inbox in TEARS as they’re typing over the same guy? Yeah, screw being nice.)

Comics is small so most of these sources don’t even want to be anonymous because it can be traced backed to them

Ware R. DaiDoe (@ArdoOmer) April 25, 2016

Writer G. Willow Wilson (Ms. Marvel) wrote at the time, Nearly every other woman Ive met in the industry seems to have horror stories about creepy run-ins with male colleagues and creators.

Shortly after, former DC editor Heidi MacDonald published an article delving into why comics publishing had such an entrenched problem with sexual harassment. Along with her examination of victim-blaming, sexism, and power imbalances in the industry, one underlying point stands out: Before Fowler mentioned Wood by name, MacDonald wrote, It was pretty easy to figure out who she was talking about.

Examples like Allie and Berganza are in the minority because they weren’t just called out by name; they were called out by multiple people in respected positions in the community. In Allie’s case, he actually made a public apology. Most of the time, these allegations remain anonymous, couched in terms of “blind item” gossip and subtweets. Women in the industry may share private warnings about “known” harassers, but it’s rare for industry employees to come forward and name names.

I haven’t bought a DC title since the news story broke and don’t intend to until @DCComics gets their act together with how they treat women

Black Girl Nerds (@BlackGirlNerds) May 10, 2016

Working in comics is a precarious career. The medium is collaborative, people spend years (if not entire careers) as low-wage freelancers, and most of the steady jobs are at a small handful of companies. Those who have discussed abuse also raise concerns about being ostracized for speaking up. That’s why many female writers and artists have said they rely on word-of-mouth warnings, feeling unable to trust publishers to effectively hold harassers accountable.

Comics watchdogs and reporters, however, have been pursuing the harassment issue for years, and DC Comics most recent statement, though unsatisfying to many, indicates the company is aware its an issue readers are closely watching.

Photo via DC Comics

Read more: http://www.dailydot.com/

[dorothydelgadillo]

Instead of Unsubscribing, He Called Me a Terrorist.

My heart stopped as I read the preview text.  Not even the actual message, just the preview text -- and as I clicked open, I had no words. Every Monday around 8:45 a.m., I had grown accustomed to facing a bloated, “spammy” inbox full of responses to our Saturday issue of THE LATEST — auto-responders in Russian characters, inbox filters, even the occasional pickup line.

I certainly didn’t expect a personal attack.

“go blow yourself up like your cousins on 9/11 you monkey-faced f**ktard.”

A screenshot of the actual email

It was short and ignorant, but it sliced through me like a knife. I turned around and shook my head with a few of my teammates but my heart began to race, my mind clouded, and I could feel the tears of disgust well. This wasn’t anything new. I knew this ugliness was in the world.

I had experienced it before, but this was different for some reason. I didn’t know what to do.

Did I play it cool and let it roll off my back? Did I tell my manager? Did I run to the bathroom to let the angry tears flow?

The email was a response to one discussing HubSpot, Facebook, and Instagram. Nothing political, nothing socially-charged -- so why did this happen?

What provoked this? What called for these words that would leave me fighting tears at my desk during what’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year?

Why was I being attacked by a nameless coward, simply for showing my face?

I wasn’t looking for a confrontation.

I wasn’t pushing any sensitive buttons or egging anyone on by sending our newsletter -- I was doing the same thing I always do when I send out our newsletter.

Nevertheless, I was met with hate.

We Need to Recognize That Racism Is Everywhere; Even in Marketing

That day, I didn’t cry because this savage’s words hurt. I’m a big girl and no racism is personal.

I wanted to cry because no matter how many times we see these incidents cross our newsfeeds, in headlines, or they stop me in my tracks in everyday life, I’m still appalled.

Racism is not something isolated to politics or the justice system, people.

It is an insidious, ruthless virus that bubbles underneath the skin of many “average” people; many who, we as marketers, communicate with every day.

Even if not attached to hate, there is a great deal of unconscious bias and miscommunication in our society when it comes to race.

It’s considered taboo to discuss it or admit some of us have preconceived notions attached to it, but we do.

Just look at what happened to me.

This man saw a brown face and labeled me.

Obviously, the message was intended to be an attack on Muslims/Arabs (for the record, I’m Indian, raised Hindu), and when I share it with others -- or similar incidents in the past --  the common reaction is, “That’s awful. You’re not even Muslim or Arab!”

-- But even if I was, would that have somehow made this more acceptable?

Now, I know that is not what most people are suggesting when they say this to me.

They’re emphasizing just how ignorant the statement was, but we must remove these ambiguous, “well-meaning” reactions from our lexicon.

They suggest that if he had made a targeted statement that was accurate, it would’ve been less disgusting.

That if he was a little bit more “informed,” it would have been a fraction more “OK.”

And that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Reactions like these show just how misunderstood and mishandled racial situations are today.

I believe we can change, but not without facing it head-on like we are right now.

Race isn’t a four-letter word.  

It’s a fact of life that needs to be discussed openly and honestly. Race should be embraced and explored fully to establish comfort.

We get squeamish when we acknowledge skin color and the differences between us, so it gets brushed under the rug with rosy adages like, “We're all the same.”

But we shouldn't feel awkward. We should lean into this discomfort and talk about it.

This is a belief that has always guided me as an individual, as well as a marketer.

I’m Used to Being in the Minority & I’ve Always Embraced That Responsibility  

When I was in my junior year at the University of Connecticut, I once glanced at my tuition invoice to find I was awarded a $1,000 “Marketing Minority Scholarship.”

I had to laugh. It was an ongoing joke among my friends that I majored in marketing “because no brown kids went into marketing” -- but I embraced this.

Yours truly as a freshly-degreed, bushy-tailed marketing grad.

All of my classes were seas of white faces, but I was used to it from attending high school in Connecticut. It just came with the territory. As I joined the workforce and attended conferences, however, I soon learned just how underrepresented South Asians -- let alone distantly South Asian, first-generation American, Indo-Caribbeans, like myself --are in the marketing industry. Still, it didn’t faze me.

I didn’t see being a minority in this field as a disadvantage or something to be ignored. It was an opportunity. An opportunity and responsibility to represent.

In 2019, it’s common to see a biracial couple or a minority in a national commercial, but this is a recent phenomenon; one that still catches me by pleasant surprise when I see it happen.

When I started working back in 2011, this diversity was a rare sight in marketing, advertising, and the media in general. I knew I had a fresh perspective, a different walk of life, a new experience to share — and share I would. As I began creating content, I infused my writing with examples from Bollywood, stories from my family life, and photoshopped vectors of people to make the groups more diverse.

I made “brown jokes” to my team and shared my culture, suggesting we all celebrate Holi in the office.

      View this post on Instagram

    Light creates color and color creates light. For the second year in a row, I was lucky to share a piece of my culture (and a tiny bit of heart and soul) with my team @impactbnd — and it was bigger and literally brighter than ever! Holi/#Phagwah has always been my favorite festival and it brings me so much joy to see everyone enjoy it as much as I do. Happy #Spring & #Holi everyone! 🌈❤️💐🎨 #festivalofcolors #holihai #instagood #IMPACTteamweek #holi #phagwah #color #spring #impactteamweek #love #life

A post shared by Ramona (@fromramonawlove) on Mar 22, 2018 at 8:23pm PDT

Representation matters and I wanted to do my small part to advance it.

It became a part of my voice and vision as a content creator. But then there was that email. This message was a rude reminder that there are still people in the world who don’t want to see diversity or new perspectives. There are people who just don’t want to see faces or names like mine grace their inboxes.

The inbound marketing industry is often very idealistic, warm, and fuzzy. We preach helping and being genuine.

Unfortunately, even our beautiful, tolerant bubble of existence, can be popped by bigotry, no matter how good our intentions.

Again, in my experience, it comes with the territory.

Vulnerability in Content Marketing

“Write with the door closed, rewrite with the door open. Your stuff starts out being just for you, in other words, but then it goes out. Once you know what the story is and get it right — as right as you can, anyway — it belongs to anyone who wants to read it. Or criticize it.” - Stephen King, On Writing

When you create content, like any artist, you are putting a piece of yourself out into the world.

We always encourage experts to share their unique perspectives and points of view, but in doing so, they’re also opening themselves up to criticism.

They’re opening a door to anyone and everyone, with a virtual invitation to express their thoughts and feelings on what they shared.

Perhaps some may disagree with your opinions and state so professionally, but others, as my email proved, may feel a need to comment on you personally.

This is both a beauty and a blemish of what we do.

Everyone can have a voice -- but what are the limits, if any?

And if we say there are limits, are they defined by what we should or should not be sharing, or by our capacity to be “thick-skinned” when under attack?

At IMPACT, I strive to help our publication be the most honest, candid marketing resource online. We want to bring you real stories and opinions, not the sugar-coated, best-case scenarios so many others do, but we do so with respect.

Unfortunately, not everyone does.

In content marketing, when you put your name, face, or stamp of approval on something, you become vulnerable to every kind of feedback both solicited or not.

Professional and personal.

Loving and hateful.

In a more volatile social atmosphere.

You Can’t Let This Risk Stop You

You can’t let the risk of being met with hate or disapproval silence your voice; to stop you from sharing your unique experience or shedding light on the world’s ills that are a direct result of turning a blind eye.

I know my words will not change the world or solve anything, but this the reality we live in.

This is my experience and, sadly, it’s not new or unique. This is the daily experience of millions of people in our country and abroad.

Today, I am a proud brown woman, so I know this man’s racist words and thoughts on those who look like me mean nothing. I'd usually shrug them off. However, if I were younger or perhaps hadn't experienced this type of hate before, I would feel ostracized.

As if I didn’t have the right to get up every morning and exist, let alone do my job and speak my mind.

Racism is alive and well. It’s everywhere -- in the digital world, as well as the marketing world, and this is what it does.

It condemns people purely for existing as God created them. It makes them feel like they have no value as human beings, that their stories and faces don’t matter.

I refuse to be condemned.

One person's ignorance is another’s fuel for change.

Marketers, we need to embrace diversity and inclusion in our ads. Highlight different faces and points of view in our content. Share your unique experiences.

When you go the extra mile to not only acknowledge but embrace diversity, you let millions know they do belong; they are welcome; their pains and needs are valid, and understood by someone other than themselves.

You silence hate mongers like the coward who emailed me. Anonymously, I might add.

As marketers and as citizens of the world, this is all of our opportunity, and frankly, our responsibility to each other.  

from Web Developers World https://www.impactbnd.com/blog/instead-of-unsubscribing-he-called-me-a-terrorist

[positivepsychologyinterventions]

Do You Long to Belong?

As a career therapist, I have sat with clients of all ages who have expressed feeling like an outsider who doesn’t quite fit in, a square peg in a round hole, so different from others that they may have come from another planet. Some are adults, some children and teens and what they have in common is a longing to belong.

This sense of feeling like an “other” may have emerged from their family of origin, where they may have grown up as the only artist among athletes, the only introvert among social butterflies, or the only mechanic among PhDs. Being in lock step may have superseded unique talents. And, once they enter school, the expectation to conform may seem overwhelming.  

During sessions, some have shared a belief that other people have it all together. I laugh with them and relate a story from my own adolescence. Although I had friends in the various social circles (athletes, cheerleaders, student council, drama club, musicians, chess club — the only group I didn’t hang with were those referred to back then as “stoners”), I never felt like one of the “cool” or “popular” kids.

When were planning our 35th reunion, a Facebook group was created. I made a passing comment about that dynamic. A few people chimed in that they thought I was one of the cool kids who they admired and wanted to emulate. Imagine that. One of the guys even said he had a crush on me back then. When I laughingly inquired why he hadn’t told me that during my insecure adolescence, it was because he felt lacking, just like I did.

I also encourage my clients to visualize walking down the hall in school and seeing thought bubbles over the heads of the other kids. What would they see in them? They agreed that the chances were pretty good that they would reflect their own personal insecurities. I asked if they would feel more compassion toward themselves if they knew that everyone, even the most popular and lauded kids had some of the same self -doubts that they fell prey to; the others just covered better. They said it would be easier. Peel off the layers, and we all question our worth. Part of the human condition, I guess.

In the wake of the most recent tragic school shooting in Parkland, Florida, there have been suggestions that students should befriend those perceived as different, outcast, and weird. This was recommended to prevent someone who feels isolated or has been bullied from retaliating. I am all for inclusivity, reaching out to make new friends and certainly, refraining from harassing or ostracizing others; buoying up instead of bullying down. But there is a major downside to this strategy.

I read a statement recently, written by a young person who was being bullied. They expressed that after the Columbine shootings, when, along with similar peers, they were called in to speak with the administration as a potential at-risk kid, they felt singled out and even more weird. Others were encouraged to befriend them, which felt contrived and condescending. A powerful statement that this student made to the guidance counselor was that this treatment made them feel “like a school shooter in the making.”

“When we fail to teach kids about bullying, fail to intervene when necessary, fail to recognize a child in pain, we leave children being bullied with few options,” says MaryAnn Byrne, a certified Olweus Bullying Prevention trainer. “Some children will muddle through and grow up with a variety of issues including anxiety, depression, social phobia and so on. Some children turn on themselves. They become self-injurious, suicidal, substance abusers, drop out of school, society and sometimes life. Others become bullies.”

In working with child, teen and adult victims of bullying behaviors, I remind them that the best way to get back at the bullies is not to repeat their behaviors and thus become like them. There is a false sense of power when in the bullying position, rooted in unhappiness, but when someone feels genuinely empowered, the desire to put another down to elevate oneself, diminishes. Healing takes place.

How do we create a sense of belonging?

Find people with whom you have interests in common.

Volunteer in your community in spiritual or secular groups.

See areas of similarity as well as diversity.

Acknowledge what makes you unique and special, as opposed to “weird” by making a list of your talents and abilities.

Identify a role model/mentor who presents as confident and is adept at making friends and learn what has worked for that person.

Attributional Retraining as a modality is championed by social psychologist and Stanford assistant professor Gregory Walton. He teaches people to reframe their self -deprecating, isolative thoughts of “It’s just me. I’m the only one going through this,” as a means of feeling a sense of belonging. Re-writing the narrative allows us to tell a new story about who we are and what place we occupy in the world.

Sadly, a young person with whom I worked saw himself through the eyes of those who were picking on him. He expressed feeling like the loser they told him he was. By using this technique, he was able to re-create himself, so that when he moved from elementary to middle school, he was able to engage in more fulfilling relationships, joined in various activities. According to him, and verified by his parents, he is now excelling in school and has many more friends. He is walking taller and feels he has posse around him.

Resources to help prevent bullying: visit Stop Bullying.gov or Bullying Education.

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[soylenth]

The Last Jedi Blaster Points

I am writing these notes with no reverence or respect for spoilers. Read at your own peril. One of my favorite songs is still "I still haven't found what I'm looking for." Not because I like Bono's warbly voice all that much, but because it still encapsulates my feelings about this life the best. I've been skimming new and old shows on the streaming services like I'm looking for something, and it occurred to me recently that I AM looking for something. I just still haven't found what I'm looking for. As the product of a millennialist religion, to me the anticipation of the star wars movies most resembled anticipation of the second coming, and joyous hope for a world made new. This blessed hope has diminished with each flawed arrival of the christ movie, as disillusioned adults realized they weren't 10 anymore and never would be or simply believed the perfect SW movie WAS possible, it was just in hands incapable of crafting paradise correctly. The blessed hope is that someday, someone WILL craft the perfect SW trilogy, and we will walk hand-in-hand into that eternal realm. As for me, I have long lost the hope that a movie will save me in any fashion, but I still sift through them restlessly, hoping to find some sign of good in them, and by extension the industry that creates them, and by extension western civilization. Like Luke, I want to find the good in the thing that created me. Not coincidentally, one of my other favorite songs is, "Give me something to believe in." For now, I hold on to one quote from each movie I see that means something to me, even if I can't explain why. For the Force Awakens this was: "Dear Child. The belonging you seek is not behind you, it is in front of you." (I went home and sobbed after this movie). For the Last Jedi it's Luke saying: "No one's ever really gone." Which ties with my other favorite SW quote: "Luminous beings are we. Not this crude matter." "No one's ever really gone." is simultaneously the hope of redemption in this life and the hope of possibilities beyond it. I look for hope in SW, and in the original trilogy that was the redemption of Darth Vader. A father's love for his son, redemption, and sacrifice are all powerful themes and their combination in Return of the Jedi is probably my favorite aspect of star wars. I personally think genuine redemption (as opposed to posed redemption with no real contrition), is one of the most powerful ideas in human society, is vital to healing social bonds that every one of us can't help but damage from time to time and I like aspects of our culture that champion that idea in a sincere and meaningful way. Our default setting is angry, gory revenge when we are wronged and while we still haven't really gotten much beyond it in our society, we should still try. And what concerns me most about modern society is the increasing absence of redemption, as if we are afraid the wrong people could make use of it. I believe in redemption because anger leads to hate and hate leads to suffering and while this is a trite pop-culture spiritualism in a kids movie, it is also an idea intimately intertwined in every major religion. To forgive is divine. That doesn't mean you have to be stupid about it, that doesn't mean you have to pretend someone is sincere when they are not. It just means if you can't mend the wound, the remaining options get less fun over time. Isolation, demonization, and violence are less ideal than the alternatives. So to see redemption tossed so casually aside in the Last Jedi concerns me, but then again, not every story is a story of redemption. This is partly a story about fascism that cannot be reasoned with. I think western civilization is still figuring out how to deal with fascism politically and Star Wars is some not small part of that. How do we stop violent eliminationists without just violently eliminating them? Star Wars has so far not been up to the task in answering this question, but I'm glad it tries. The First Order is still woefully underdeveloped, and the original empire under Palpatine was 1-dimensional evil. A deep exploration of fascism this series is not. Part of the problem here, is I don't think we have much of an idea of what a healthy, functioning democracy looks like yet in our civilization, which is partly why you never actually see one in Star Wars. Just cartoon fascism and people clinging to hope that we'll figure it out someday. That moves me, and If feel it, but it doesn't enlighten me. Star Wars has yet to show me how things could be better, just that power is being taken by hateful, violent people and we should stand up to them. And they should and we should and I still want to know what better, specifically, looks like. More interesting here is the way TLJ seems to upend the traditional star wars story entirely. Not even is this not a story about the redemption of Ben Solo, this may not even be a story about the empire or the rebellion. Both the main empire vs rebels and jedi vs sith storylines are cracking at the seems in this movie, as new stories threaten to break free from beneath them. The rebellion vs the First Order is recast several times as the 1% vs the poor and downtrodden and jedi vs sith is cast as dogmatic religions too rigid in their thinking and the light and the dark as oversimplifications that hurt more than they help. Luke panics at how readily Rey faces the dark side cave, but the panic seems more that the dark is so seductive a person can't help but succumb. But this is Luke's problem, not Rey's. She touches the dark side and instinctively recoils. It is not who she is, it does not have what she wants, it holds very little power over her. Luke's reaction reminds me a lot of christians who freak out when their kids are exposed to any non-christian opinions. If you genuinely believe your ideas are more powerful and more compelling, why be afraid? Similarly, Kylo Ren seems devoted to the dark, but does not seem to fear his explorations into the light. His lines about killing the past and leaving the Jedi and the Sith far behind were genuinely exciting but also the kind of thing an ambitious Sith would say. For the Sith, it's always about being the new force-using iconoclast who reinvents even as he innovates and remolds the universe around him. But still, as a fan I'm genuinely excited to see the genuinely stale jedi vs sith contruction cast aside in favor of more nuanced depictions of light and dark. I think there is such a thing as good and evil, but SW has long been constricted by overly-simplistic mythologies and losing those to some degree will enable more interesting discussions of good vs evil. Is it still Star Wars if you stop talking about Jedi and the Sith? I honestly don't know. Beyond that, I have no idea where they're going with Ben Solo from here. He's one of the most well-developed characters of the new series, extremely sympathetic, and seemingly as unbound from the Sith as he is to the Jedi. He may have grabbed the helm of the first order, but to what end? He doesn't strike me as the type who wants to rule the universe, just to do as he wants when he wants to. He's an interesting character, but I'm not sure I buy him as the new prime evil of the series. The next movie needs to add something here, in terms of characterization or motivation or new villains (or a surprise resurrection and exploration of his relationship with Snoke or something). Of course, there IS actually a short redemption arc in this film, but it's not Ren, it's Luke. Rey brings Luke back the way Luke brings Vader back. Luke nearly fell to the dark side in trying to be a Jedi Master, and it scared him so bad he shut himself off from it and went into exile. Here, Rey faces the dark unafraid and without letting it diminish the light in her and Luke, in the end, does the same. I think if there's any powerful emotional core to this movie, it's that. Not only that, but Luke's final duel is most powerful in what it fails to give Kylo, and by extension the blood-thirsty fanboys in the audience:  violent revenge. The movie does a good job in implying Luke is there to kill Ben, or that Ben is going to kill Luke like Vader killed Kenobi. Luke, finally a Jedi Master, shames them all by solving the problem elegantly and non-violently. He admits he fails him, says he's sorry, and saves his friends and family; all without wasting a life. The last act of the last Jedi Master is probably by far the strongest argument for the existence of the Jedi Order in the history of the franchise. Yoda said the hardest part of being a master was being the thing his students grow beyond and he was talking about Rey, but he was also talking about Luke. Not even Yoda did so much good with so little violence. I was unsure I liked what they did with him as I left the theater last night, and now I think I love it. With that in mind, I'm still not sure this trilogy won't end with the redemption of Ben Solo. His two most important father-figures leave him with kind words and looks of love on their faces. Han touching his son's face before he falls and Luke with a gentle "See ya 'round, kid." (or somesuch, expect to see Luke as a force ghost in the third act). Moreover, he's still not committed to the dark side. He's abandoned the sith as much as he's abandoned the Jedi. I'm not saying it should end with his redemption; if he relentlessly and continually chooses evil it cannot. I harbor a suspicion that Ren is a stand-in for the angry ostracized man-children in the fanbase, who may choose evil but who we have also failed to bring into a healthy adult community. These are also the most vulnerable recruits to fascist movements anyway, so maybe SW is exploring "how to fight fascism" more in Kylo Ren than in the First Order vs the Resistance. As far as the Wars part of the Stars goes, I don't know what the new series is doing.  The world-building in this new trilogy is awful. The First Order are just fascists who have not been fleshed out at all. Okay. They couldn't figure out how to depict a functioning democracy so they just nuked the Republic in the first movie(again, this is a big weakness in western civ right now). Leaving a tiny resistance that only gets tinier over the course of the second movie. I mean the entire arc here is the Resistance fleeing from one base, and a slow-ass chase to a new planet which they again flee. Call him all the names you want, but Lucas was significantly better at world-building in the first 6 movies, for all his failings with dialogue and how people work. Details matter and there are not enough details here. The First Order is bad and the resistance is good is all you really get, with not even a sketch of how the rest of the galaxy looks at this point. This part of the plot exists without any context whatsoever and that is frustrating. So, while I am excited for all the new directions hinted at in this film, it's still kind of a mess. While I enjoyed a lot of it, it resolves too much and has almost zero forward momentum going into the third act, which is a, um, bold choice. There's no question of Rey's parents going forward, there's no question of "will Kylo turn?" (or is there?), the rebels are flying free and happy to their friends in the outer rim (although no one answered, so maybe?). Snoke is dead. The First Order and Ren still plan to take over, but that's how the first movie ended. The resistance is weak and on the run but that's how the first movie ended. There are no characters in dire peril that will need to be rescued, unless we're still talking about redeeming Ben Solo, Luke is dead (but not gone!), and all the series regulars are safe for now. What tensions run taut between them? What ill wind blows them to destruction or salvation? I have no idea and the movie doesn't either. And that's, frankly, very disappointing. All that said, beyond Luke's redemption, there are some things that really worked for me. Laura Fucking Dern. Her dramatic lightspeed sacrifice that was such a stunningly powerful and beautiful moment that I gasped out loud. Leia force-pulling herself back to the ship. It worked for me and my only question for those who hated would be: Would it have worked for you if Luke had done it? why or why not? My suspicion here is old women in dresses are traditionally coded as helpless so to see an old woman in a dress save herself strikes people (*coughes* men *coughs*) as a ridiculous spectacle. I just liked the reminder that Leia is a Skywalker. The battle on Crait was great, if anti-climactic. Like I said, I ultimately like it as a powerful end to Luke and the Jedi, but in terms of the actual battle, it kind of fizzles.  Although those speeders were cool. Visually lovely though, in traditional star wars fashion.  Finn's battle on the ship and vs Phasma was pretty great. BB-8 generally kicking ass, especially in the AT-ST, worked very well for me. Bencio Del Toro's codebreaker guy was interesting. The New Han Solo ladies and gentlemen! The alien creatures were good and I wanted more. The throne room fight scene where Rey and Ren face off against Snoke's goons was fun and I like how they eschewed the traditional lightsaber tropes in general in this film. I thought the humor generally worked. Poe on hold for Hux was probably Poe's best moment. In terms of things that could have worked better, Chewbacca should have taken a bite. Finn's side adventure interrupts the flow of everything. Seems more appropriate for a rogue one style spin-off (honestly, they didn't know what to do with Finn in this movie, which is a shame because he's great). Not enough material for Finn and Poe slashfic. Finn and Poe are in love and I won't believe otherwise. Not quite enough star-fighting for my taste. This trilogy is weird. Johnson took a right angle from Abrams and Abrams will probably have to take another sharp turn to save it. The lines leading from movie to movie will probably not end up lining up too well. A lot of complaints about modern cinema revolve around flashy cinematography that essentially doesn't go anywhere, promising the meat will be in the next installment. These movies are always leading somewhere great but rarely great in and of themselves. There's lots I like about the Last Jedi, but I think that critique holds some water here. Too much hinges on where the next movie goes and this movie should hold up better under its own weight than it does. I'll watch the next movie both because I love Star Wars and I'm curious how they'll resolve any of this. I'm hoping it will still have that one good line worth holding on to. But I'm not expecting it to save me, or turn back time, or usher us into a bright new Star Wars paradise and neither should you. via Blogger http://ift.tt/2zitWAn

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