#I feel so seen and validated

[cloud-somersault]

This is in reference to your most recent post, but I honestly get so confused when people who watch LMK haven't read or at least done research on the source material(JTTW) because I feel like it dampens their experience of appreciating the characters. 

JTTW, which is what LMK is referenced from, is rich with tradition, meaning, and culture. Not understanding JTTW gives you a very one dimensional approach to all the characters but especially Wukong since he is currently one of the only original JTTW figures from the main cast. And in misunderstanding Wukong’s source material means that people really don’t understand shadowpeach like they should. 

Even if we were to only go from the context of the show, shadowpeach started out super toxic. LMAO! These guys were at each other’s throat constantly and were not amicable at all. The appeal is the fact that it is alluded to/shown that these two used to have a very close relationship but something happened to separate them. That’s where the intrigue begins, that’s what gets the gears turning in the viewer’s head. Something happened to make them this way and we want to know! In JTTW canon, Wukong did kill Macaque and it was actively against Buddha’s requests not to. Bro did not care, lol.  I think it is also important to realize that LMK and JTTW are still different BUT it’s honestly quite foolish, in my opinion, to completely disregard the book it is based on. And there’s nothing wrong with fans taking canon things from JTTW and applying it to LMK. Especially if it’s their own fanfiction or interpretation(like your fic). It has been a common theory that Wukong killed Macaque(pretty much since the show started), especially given a lot of the evidence we have been presented with. Disregarding one of the writer’s statements, it’s completely reasonable to make the connection between JTTW and LMK that Wukong did kill Macaque. Especially considering we are shown in the third season a flashback that they did have a violent brawl before his supposed death and subsequent resurrection. 

Shadowpeach IS inherently toxic, especially before there’s any character growth between them, and I personally feel like it’s okay to acknowledge that and embrace it. I understand people tend to gravitate away from any forms of toxicity because, yeah, it feels weird saying you like a ship of two people who hate each other. But that’s the fun thing about enemies to lovers! And shadowpeach has so much more depth to it because it can be interpreted in so many different ways. I wholeheartedly believe that their versatility and depth as a ship is largely the reason why they are one of the biggest ships in the fandom. And their depth comes from the fact that they are inherently flawed characters.  

This need to uphold Sun Wukong on a pedestal he does not deserve ultimately ruins the thing that makes them special. And that's how undeniably human he is. Someone wouldn’t know that just from watching LMK, especially since the show either glosses over the darker parts of JTTW or alters them entirely. Stripping Wukong specifically of the overflowing amount of wonderful source material he has completely dumbs down the beauty of his character. I think playing around with the idea that he did kill Macaque(in regards to LMK canon) doesn’t really change where they come from very much. Idk if anyone else has noticed, but the season 4 special is obviously still not the full picture. That little fight in the mountain is 100% not what makes them hate each other so much. That much animosity for an altercation like that?? It doesn’t make any sense. We still don’t have the full picture, and people are basing their attitude towards each in seasons 1-3 on insufficient evidence. 

Anyway, sorry lol. Seeing people not appreciate shadowpeach for the mess it is makes me so unbelievably disappointed and frustrated(especially if they know nothing about JTTW) and the internet is a great place to bounce off opinions. I promise this isn’t directed towards anyone in particular and it doesn’t come out of anger, I just think there is a common misunderstanding of shadowpeach’s complex foundation and I refuse to stand for it. /lh /nm

Okay, my weird rant is over, haha. I completely understand your irritation with comments like that, though, and I am so sorry you have to deal with them. 

Damn, I don't really have anything to add to this. I think you said it all. I can pack it up and go home LMFAO Can this be my new pinned post

Oh, I will say one thing. The fandom is def afraid or in denial that shadowpeach, in any iteration, is toxic. In order for it not to be, they'd have to be grossly out of character, and then guess what friends? That's not shadowpeach!

But a lot of people do that and are content with that. Which, okay, but stay off my porch LMFAO

#ask #thanks for typing all this out and sending it in #i feel so seen and validated #i'm glad im not the only one FRUSTRATED by people saying stuff like that #they don't realize they're being disrespectful to both wukong AND macaque when they pull that shit #and standing on the sinking ship of “it's not confirmed!” is just funny af to me #like okay clutch that last bit of fact to your chest fam #i don't give a fuck either way what happens in canon #i'm here for good animation and jokes #ngl after i made this au i'm kinda content and in my lane. flourishing even #fave

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[heymacy]

IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder

╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher

#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies #(more thoughts at the end of the tags) #shameless #shamelessnet #shamelessedit #ian gallagher #cameron monaghan #*macygifs #bipolar disorder #hello pals how are we doin #i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags #and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes) #i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation #that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day #world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder #which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life #while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life #and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines #over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful #i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended #hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles #world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder #and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized) #it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all #it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen #so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can. #we are worth it #i promise #anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder #go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives

[studywithisabel]

i’m gonna be negative for a second so fair warning

the STEM obsession is literally a plague on the current academic world, especially the recent “women in stem” shit. of course people who are typically discouraged from male-dominated fields should receive encouragement from schools, recruiters, etc, but i am really sick of this being turned into “STEM is the only valuable career path and you are betraying your intelligence as a woman/poc/whatever by doing literally anything else.”

there are SO many non stem jobs that are essential to the proper functioning of society and are definitely NOT worth any less than being a doctor or engineer. i’m tired of there being zero scholarships, internships, encouragement in general for literally any other career path. it’s just disrespectful and honestly dangerous. we can’t let humanities-focused subjects and careers die because STEM is the current hot topic. and i just hate most of all the appropriation of feminism to do it.

#it just feels like conflating feminism into you can either be a stupid housewife or be a smart girlboss doctor #like no there are plenty of other fulfilling careers that require very high skill and intelligence #and you know what even careers that aren’t seen as prestigious are just as valid #so that’s me stepping off the soapbox #i hope no stemmies are offended by this it’s not about you personally #it’s about the complete systemic ignorance of all other subjects #negative #academia

[lets-go-hurt-someone]

Am I the only one who actually prefers the Araj confession from Astarion? I see so many people wax poetic about the “nice, simple plan” scene and how much better it is that I want to wax poetic a little about my favourite.

The first time I played BG3, I didn’t know anything about Astarion’s background and I thought he was a jerk. When I first ran into Araj at Moonrise, I was surprised that he wasn’t interested in biting her, but he gave his reasons and I was like, damn, okay, that sucks but I’m not gonna force him to do anything. He said no, so it’s a no. Then I moved on, and genuinely thought nothing of it.

When he hit me with the Araj confession at camp, when he explained how he felt in front of her and how easy it would have been to just grin and bear it and do as he was told, I started crying. Sometimes I struggle to even put into words the emotions it brought up — not the smallest of which was the realisation that I had had more respect for this video game character that I didn’t even like at the time than a lot of people had ever had for me, a real fucking human being.

So I love absolutely everything about that scene, from the writing to the performance to all the different ways it can play out. I know the other confession is more cute and sweet and romantic, but the Araj one held up a mirror to me and genuinely made me confront myself and change how I approach intimacy. Which is kind of an embarrassing thing to say about a video game romance scene but here I am saying it.

Because if this fucking rude ass pixel boy (affectionate) can learn to be honest about his needs and limits and have them respected, then so can I, goddamnit. And that will always be so much more profound to me than a nice, simple plan that fell apart.

#maybe I just prefer ugly crying to the cute scene idk #I’ve talked about this before but it just hits me in waves sometimes #the way this game has made me feel so seen and valid for trauma I had written off as character development is wild #it’s so much cheaper than therapy but I probably need to go back to therapy lolol #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #astarion ancunin #tw: sa

[nats-uvi]

Angst time :D👍

You can read my rambling about her in the tags

#listen LisTEN TO Me #hear me OuT #oh is hc time #I read a while ago howw empathetic people tend to feel bad when they feel any angry/“negative emoy #el archivo literalmrnte lo tengo giardafo como “problemas emocionales goes brrrr” xD #how they tend to bottle everything up cause it makes thrm feel shame about how their actions might be seen as “selfish” #despite having VERY good and VALID reasons to justify thrir anger #based on the pilot I think she's pretty meek and also a little bit of a pushover #also I was thinking she'll be pretty self consious and try to mask her emotions the best she can #which obviously is super unhealthy #I think that at some point she's just going to SNAP and is gonna be awful and soo sad and omg I cant wait to see it #give my girl some character development pls #cause as much as I like crybabies characters I also like for thrm to learn how to stand up for themselves #anyway sory if that didnt made sense xDd is just that I have never had so much fun with a fictional character #mi hija fr #el archivo literalmente lo tengo guardado vomo “problemas emocionales goes brrr” xD #ya ahora si los tags serios #tadc fanart #the amazing digital circus #tadc #tadc gangle #gangle

[twinstxrs]

the gorgug-porter conversation is interesting to me because like. yea for the overwhelming majority of the conversation porter’s being shitty & trying to fit gorgug into a box that gorgug just does not fit into by trying to make gorgug’s relationship with his rage more focused on the aggression aspect of it. but then there’s also this specific thing that brennan brought up again in the ap, which is that gorgug’s relationship with his rage is wholly “this is a tool i use to protect my friends.” which isn’t a bad thing! but that’s his Whole relationship with it, & gorgug seems to place next to no value on his rage in relationship to himself. which is problematic, because it’s first & foremost his rage.

being raised in a household with a sort of toxic positivity largely meant that, whether or not it was his parents’ intention, gorgug internalized the message that more traditionally “negative” emotions such as anger are the wrong response to something. part of the reason he prioritizes his artificing is probably because it’s “fixing” things. in comparison to being a barbarian, which gorgug associates with “breaking” things. good vs. bad behavior, in his eyes.

it’s a totally unacceptable bar to measure a 16 y/o by, but i do think part of porter’s reasoning for not letting gorgug multiclass is him recognizing that gorgug generally does not value anger as a valid emotional response to something, at the very least for himself. & that directly conflicts with what being a barbarian is, because whether you like it or not, that rage is what fuels you. but again, barring a kid from pursuing something they deeply care about in part (not entirely, porter has a lot of more bullshit reasons) because of their fundamental values & world outlook is crazy.

so yes, 98% of porter’s reasoning is pretty shitty, immature, rife with a toxic view that there’s only one proper way to access rage, & generally not a good thing to do as a teacher, but also within that reasoning is the 2% of ‘there is a fundamental part of yourself that you only value if you can use it to take care of other people & you need to accept that as something that can take care of you, too.’ but that’s something to discuss with a therapist or a guidance counselor, not something that should hugely impact gorgug’s academic future.

#gorgug thistlespring #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #btw these r just my personal opinions u r 100% free to disagree #gorgug & his rage interest me so deeply because of how deeply that rage existing seems to be against gorgug’s own will #like mechanically classes are choices & you can switch stuff around any time. but gorgug as a barbarian always felt like an unwilling choice #like that 14 y/o kid did not want to have rage. & that really interests me. #i’ve seen people before be like ‘what if gorgug dropped barbarian & went full srtificer’ but i feel like that simply can’t happen?? #mechanically yea sure but it always felt like a core part of gorgug that the rage will always be there & it’s a matter of how you channel it #idk. dnd classes narratively being treated as ‘you can not lose this part of you’ even though you technically can #gorgug could be lvl 19 artificer & he’d still have 1 level of barbarian. because that is part of who he is. #btw i don’t think porter truly cares about gorgug valuing his rage only as a way to be a human shield #i think porter just sees that as ‘wrong’ but like. not as in ‘you need to take care of yourself’ & more ‘you aren’t conforming’ #he thinks it’s wrong for the wrong reasons. the nastier ‘this is how you should be’ reasons #ppl being like ‘we r being too hard on porter. it’s an 150% courseload gorgug will be overwhelmed’ i think r missing the point bc like. #that is 100% a valid reason to not approve gorgug for multiclassing! but that’s also 100% not the reason porter rejected him. #that whole interaction was basically porter shoving his percieved version of conformity down gorgug’s throat. was v neurodivergent kid coded #no hate to anyone saying that last point btw these r all just opinions #thinking about last ep wilma & digby being like ‘you’re a great barbarian. you’re so great at it. but look at what you made!!!’ like. #they would never mean it like that. but when you only understand half of your son he is going to prioritize the half you do.

[ride-a-dromedary]

Thinking about Thaniel and Halsin reuniting again when he wakes.

Thinking about how Halsin describes Thaniel as having been ripped away from him (just as he was from Oliver). How he was the only one able to see and interact with him; how Halsin is very insistent that Thaniel made him who he became. How Halsin's "very first friend" being an encapsulation of nature itself affected the entire trajectory of his life. How that implies, to me, that Halsin and Thaniel were connected on a level far stronger and more significant than just being unlikely playmates as children - even moreso than just Halsin deciding to become his protector as he aged, or the implication of the relationship becoming more along the lines of a parent and child - to the point of being so interconnected and intertwined, Thaniel evidently uprooted and followed Halsin from the High Forest to its own unpredicted detriment.

Thaniel's being cursed and trapped quite literally *did* rip the two of them away from one another, just as tearing Thaniel's being in two twisted and created Oliver. Halsin feels a hole in his absence - a loneliness and disconnect that eats away at him. He describes losing contact with Thaniel all that time ago as being "worst of all", which is saying a lot considering what else was happening to and around Halsin at the time. And all Thaniel talked about whilst trapped was Halsin, insisting to find him because he was the only one who an entire force of nature itself believed could help it.

Losing Thaniel sent Halsin into a century long spiral; Halsin who blames himself for "dawdling" in his own pain as it suffered. Who could almost place himself in the catalyst of Ketheric Thorm's tragedy of losing his daughter pushing him to the edge. It's the elevated metaphorical adult fear of losing a child and the indescribable sorrow involved in that, mixed with the loss of an important childhood and formative influence, mixed with losing a friend, a piece of oneself, all in one.

I just imagine Halsin twitching in his skin to head immediately back to camp after convincing Oliver to return. Distractedly following behind, but evidently elsewhere, until he is dismissed or the group returns. And he is first to arrive and first to break off to his tent, pulling aside the cloth, lacking any considerable delicacy of action, to see Thaniel sitting up, blinking slowly at his surroundings. Alive; the smell of lavender heavy and sweet. Not dead and rotting, not twisted and empty. Small. Frail. Not quite whole. But alive.

And Halsin...hesitates on the threshold, hands shaking, everything having come to its head at last and he doesn't know what to do with himself. He holds his breath, fearful of any disturbance spooking the life away that they'd worked so hard to revive, until Thaniel turns its eye slowly towards him. Two deer caught in a crosspath of light. A century past and there are hundreds of things to do, hundreds of things he had planned to say to him if they succeeded, but all Halsin can manage is a strained: "It's me."

And he does not need to say who he is; Thaniel knows. All those rehearsed things fizzle away in its face. Halsin is older now, he reasons, much older; perhaps Thaniel will not recognize the century carved upon his brow just as Oliver had not. In a moment of desperation, he needs it to know him. Needs Thaniel to remember - but, fool that he is to underestimate the power of life before him, of course he remembers. Of course Thaniel would recognize him, just as he had recognized him after the long winter had passed - when he had changed so much, and was no longer a little elfling and never would be again. Just as Thaniel had recognized him every springtime after, the thawing of ice bringing another year with it, even as its face did not change at all. It must; his eyes betrayed the centuries beneath his boots, even as the child rubbed fitfully at them.

"It's me," Halsin murmurs again, falling to his knees - as if he could make himself impossibly smaller - bring him back to the beginning, turn back the years before it all went wrong. And Thaniel just nods its head and touches little hands to his face, and when he echos his name, it feels like that first thaw of spring again.

"I heard you calling," it whispers, gentle like summer breezes. "You cried for me to stop hiding. You were frightened and did not wish to play anymore. But when I came out, it had gotten dark. I could not find you."

"I know."

"I called back," he continues, even and intoned, but his lip wobbles. "You could not hear me.

"I know," Halsin repeats, brokenly.

Thaniel blinks a few more times, seemingly working out how to reteach a face long asleep, though there were no muscles to move. A false start later, a twitch of the nose, and he is...smiling. "But I kept trying - I knew you would find me."

A single stick too heavy and the dam breaks. Eyes filled with tears, he hugs Thaniel to him like he hadn't since they were children chasing each other through the underbrush with glitters of gold tangled in his hair. Since Thaniel had guided his hand to make the flowers in his father's garden grow. Since all they'd had was each other under the endless canopy of trees.

"Forgive me," Halsin whispers, a century of pain and loss and loneliness exiting from him in a single rush, the cold empty spaces inside him filling up with warmth. And at last he wakes, dragged violently into the open air after drowning for too long, blinded but alive and whole once again. Interconnected; not alone anymore. The earth sings beneath him and Oliver's spirit hovers just beyond the outskirts of his vision. Halsin chokes on his laugh. "I was never very good at this game."

#BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #Halsin #anyway...yeah - again half purple prose half nonsense #halsin's most valuable relationship in his life is pseudo-spiritually platonic and that means a *lot* #of course he wants to go back to his realm in the end - of course he wants to see him happy and thriving #because i feel like platonic relationships are just so wholly undervalued as being important and healing to people #i am also thinking about halsin telling oliver that he need not invent friends - halsin was likely told as a child #that thaniel was made up i feel it - treated perhaps at best as an entertainment of their son's imagination in his parents' case #because no one else had heard of him or seen him before #even in a land of magic and monsters #halsin providing oliver with the validation he wishes he had as a child #using the 'you needn't invent friends' as a reverse - thaniel is back and real and waiting for your return #see my previous post regarding this for musing about thaniel and oliver being kara-turan-esque nature spirits because tbh #they more align with that - how'd you get here thaniel #using it/he for thaniel feels right in my mind

[scarletslippers]

Love is a choice. And action. We choose people over and over again.

And this show has always been about love. Choosing the right thing. Choosing your friends. Choosing your family. Choosing your soulmates. (If you’re lucky, you get four)

Choosing who you love.

#I feel so validated and seen as a fan wjth show #I’m just #nancy drew cw #nace #nancy drew spoilers #drew crew #nd liveblog

[spread-the-influence]

// hopping in again because 2 am is in the timeframe where i become so hyper on accidentally finding vibes like a nocturnal predator

. https://youtu.be/8Gopg80VXwc?si=j_vS5a5xUWvgiBRC

somehow sounds like t.i

// ASHES ASHES DUST TO DUST THE DEVIL'S AFTER THE BOTH OF US //

#[ ooc ] #i have Never heard of this song until now and now i'm obsessed holy fuck holy shit #“tell me i am good enough” me when i am a random doll who wants to please everyone to the point it's a source of manipulation #from the parasites in my brain #by making me think i'm being useful when i do things for them while also not hesitating to put me down when i fail #( i easily accept these words because i truly believe that everyone else's wellbeing is more important than mine #and do not like being seen as a failure or useless because it makes me do feel worthless #as i lack internal validation for myself #so everything is a personal failure on my part even when it isn't ) #i hollow out my being for the people that only serves to take and take and i fully let them do it #it's what is 'good' for me after all - at least that's what they tell me #... yeah here's some psychology

[add1ctedt0you]

"Can't you see the look on jiejie's face?"

#In the first gif I was like: jc it's cute that you are waiting for wwx but don't leave jyl when she's sad #Then I saw how much he turned around and understood that sect heir jc was checking that all jiang disciples were with them #Anyway. While donghua!jyl is always dissociating and novel!jyl has jfm and wwx's vibes 'smile. your problems will disapear' #Cql!jyl seems so sad. not seen. not loved #And then someone validates her feelings!(jc saying to wwx to shut up about jzx because jyl is sad) #But he doesn't do that in front of her :( #Honestly. Cql!jyl is sad in a way I didn't expect #*mgifs #Cql #yunmeng siblings #Also. I must say that a jyl who shows her emotions and a jc much more responsive emotionally are valid interpretations of the text tbh

[fleouriarts]

feeling bad about my art lately. will probably not post for a while. but i wanted to at least dump some stuff here before i retreat into my hidey hole

#hivemind tv #riley savage #graydon weaver #hmfcu #quadeca #jane remover #eden burke #my art #2023 #fanart #doodles #its like. augh. longtime fleouriarts followers are familiar with my eternal tango with posting art online #doing this since i was 11 has like rotted my brain and made me rely wayyyy too much on external validation to motivate myself #and every year or so it gets bad enough that i take a break. but the break usually only lasts a month before i miss the feeling #and come back and then the cycle repeats #its probably worse now bc this is a fandom where getting seen by the creators is not really that hard #so there have been times where im like 'well idk if i wanna draw this. but if i do maybe hivemind will rt it :-)' #NO!!! THATS NOT WHAT ART IS ABOUT!!!!! i cant keep letting myself get addicted to the numbers going up man i gotta get out of here #and i was reading a quad interview from around when idmthy got released. cus hes also brain poisoned like this. but he managed to get out #and now just kinda comes online to release music and then leave #i need to be like that. i need to take a break from art posting thats so long that i come back as a changed man odysseus style #idk. its been so long since i drew stuff that no one gets to see but me. all the art i keep to myself is just out of embarrassment #i need to relearn how to draw stuff just for the love of creation and not “maybe people online will like this one” #or “this new thing came out i need to prove my love of it by drawing it” #sometimes it leads to good art but more often than not it just makes me feel worse #whatever. if any of yall are in the hivemind jane or quadeca discord i MIGHT still post stuff there. but otherwise ill keep to myself and m #friends for a while i think #woooooo this is queued to post while im in orgo lab everyone wish me luck with my thin layer chromatography

[aquaquadrant]

"bravo is so entitled for assuming that tangos life would be his" "bravo is so annoying for barging in there and ruining everything" SHUT UP!!! hate when people hate on bravo. like put yourself in his shoes for a minute. he just went into a portal thinking he was joining this server of absolute legends. and then he was in, quite literally, hell. he probably didn't even get to have that one last look at the sun, he didn't even appreciate what he had, before it was all gone. do you know how crazy that would make you? do you have any idea how absolutely insane you could go? and, mind you, he has no idea who tango is or what conditions he was living in. he just knows they swapped places. like it is no surprise that he gets to double life and guesses that that life was supposed to be his, that soulmate was supposed to be his, those friends were supposed to be his — because he has no other information???!!!! and all he sees is this guy who looks like him but /wrong/ and he's living the life that he, for all intents and purposes, should have had. would you not be furious? really, would you not be furious?

woah there pardner, that’s a lot of heat to bring to the person who created bravo. i’m not sure if this is directed at me, or the anon from that last ask i answered, or any of the many readers who’ve been leaving comments along those lines in the tags/reblogs of the fic? and maybe i’m just misreading the tone here and ur just asking rhetorically, but uh, here’s the thing.

i do know how insane those circumstances could make someone, cuz i wrote it. of course bravo has the right to be furious for what happened to him. it’s a horrible, tragic thing. it was never supposed to be unreasonable that he made the choices he did, especially with atlas’s deliberate manipulation muddying the waters. and as far as bravo knew for those latter five years in hels, tango was directly responsible for all of it. that’s more than enough of a basis to build a grudge. maybe even enough of a grudge to overlook the torture that tango had been put thru, after he discovered the old farm (remember, he was under no false pretenses that tango would be returned back to the farm. atlas made that very clear).

that is, up until they actually meet. until bravo finds out, 100% for certain, that tango never intentionally stranded him in hels, never knowingly swapped their lives. it was- as far as they know- a random glitch of fate. now, tango did have his suspicions after learning about helsknight and chose not to come forward, so in that regard he cost bravo a few extra years in hels that could’ve been avoided otherwise. so in that, bravo’s anger is absolutely justified.

but the thing is, tango is sorry for it. he admits his mistake and apologizes. and it’s not that bravo doesn’t believe him in that moment- he just doesn’t care. he’s still completely fine with sentencing tango back to that endless lifetime of suffering, as ‘payback’ for ‘stealing his life.’ all while still claiming to be ‘better’ than tango despite choosing not to show forgiveness and mercy.

that’s where the limit is for many readers. that moment is what prompted a lot of those “how dare bravo” reactions. not to mention that a lot of bravo’s perceptions of the situation are deeply embedded in bigotry: he’s the ‘better’ fit for hermitcraft and ‘better’ partner for jimmy bc he’s an overworlder and not a mob hybrid. he deserves ‘better’ than being stuck in hels- as if none of the other hels residents deserve better simply bc they were born there. in bravo’s eyes, bc tango is a hels and a mob hybrid, he is inherently an evil monster, even though bravo’s witnessed true humanity from him and has chosen not to show the same. it’s bigotry and a superiority complex and hypocrisy all wrapped up in one, poisoning what would’ve otherwise been a fairly reasonable and justified (if a bit clouded by anger) reaction to his circumstances.

so i think that’s where the thoughts of entitlement or annoyance or frustration with bravo’s character stem from- if i’ve been interpreting the comments accurately, that is. and that’s more or less what my intention was with his character in the first place.

#hels to pay au #HTP ask #again i know maybe this was just a very passionate analysis #but the feelings of ‘hate’ (which i use lightly cuz i haven’t seen anything that strikes me as genuine hateful commentary! #are totally valid. the same way it’s valid for u to have more sympathy for bravo #so pls no telling ppl to shut up about their opinions :( #even if it was not meant seriously #cuz i love the wide spectrum of reactions i get- it’s a complex story w complex characters #and that’s gonna resonate w different ppl in a lot of different ways

[muninnhuginn]

Wondering about Li Tianchen's powers being related to touch and how that informs his relationships with others.

There are three people we really see him interact with who know of his powers: Qian Jin, Li Tianxi, Liu Xiao.

Qian Jin always wears gloves in the present day, something that shows his careful personality, but is also likely habit from interacting with Li Tianchen considering he never wore them as a cop. Qian Jin doesn't truly trust Li Tianchen, even as he plans to use him for the same powers he shields himself from. Their relationship should be closer to parent-child, considering their circumstances, but is instead more a fragile balance of mutually using each other as tools. Qian Jin maintains distance, always seeking the next betrayal. There's no trust between them though, so betrayal is inevitable.

Li Tianxi doesn't wear gloves and willingly takes Li Tianchen's hand when offered. To some extent she is conscious of being used, but that's still her brother, and so she doesn't shield herself from him. For them as siblings, touch used to be a source of comfort, guidance, and protection all in one. Over time though, that's become twisted. But Tianxi still lets Tianchen use her and Tianchen still sees what he's doing as some form of protection. There's trust here at first, but it's stretched thin, and love can only try to paper over the gaps. Which is why Tianxi eventually reaches her breaking point and runs away. She didn't entirely give up on their relationship though. Even to the end, she was willing to save her brother, despite what he'd become.

Liu Xiao offers Li Tianchen his hand. It's reminiscent of shiguang, especially of the hospital scene when they do the Chen Bin dive by mutual agreement. But also a mirror of Li Tianchen offering Li Tianxi his hand as he uses her.

Liu Xiao's overall relationship with Li Tianchen is a dark mirror of both the twins' relationship and of shiguang, but with the added element that his "friendship" is conditional. With the twins and shiguang, there's still faith beneath any hurt they may cause each other. It's a two-way street. For Liu Xiao, he says Li Tianchen has to "earn" his friendship. The onus is always on Li Tianchen to prove himself in some way. And Li Tianchen is in a position where he needs to believe he's in control because the alternative is too horrifying to consider. So Liu Xiao says "jump" and Li Tianchen asks "how high?"

Liu Xiao can trust that Li Tianchen won't betray him. He is in control of the situation and in control of Li Tianchen. Li Tianxi is dead, Qian Jin in custody. He can't go to the police because they've cottoned onto the idea of powers and he's left a trail of bodies in his wake. At this stage, Li Tianchen has no other ties left but Liu Xiao.

Liu Xiao offers his hand. It's not gloved. It doesn't need to be.

#I feel like ppl want ltc and lx to be a more equal partnership but I think from what we've seen part of the point is that it isn't. #ltc is in a cycle of being preyed on by different ppl and he leans into the idea he could have control instead #so someone validating that and seeming to give him a route out? ofc he goes for it. and lx uses that to emotionally manipulate him. #losing his other connections with ltx dying then means he's dependent on lx. and he's aware of that to some extent tbf when he asks if- #-he has a choice. but at the same time he's in too deep to back out now. #link click #link click spoilers #shiguang daili ren spoilers #tried not to go too deep into the parallels w/ other relationships but I do think they're there intentionally. #the repeated theme of people withholding info and what it does to their relationship is too pointed to ignore. #(also I've said he can't go to the police bc of the whole killing thing but tbh I think that aspect was ingrained much earlier)

[plumadot]

a simple "that situation was fucked and i'm sorry that happened to you" does so much to remedy my self-loathing

#plume says #i'm in therapy for many reasons #but sometimes i just need someone to say my feelings are valid #it does a lot for my brain chemistry #to just feel seen and heard #we healing #from things that happened so so long ago #which is frustrating as hell #but we healing

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

You know, I think what really bugs me about the "Dadworth" dynamic applied to Kay and Edgeworth's relationship is that it usually makes Kay out to be this hyperactive, slight problem child (in the 'stealing and pranking' sense rather than the 'moody and abrasive' sense), occasionally with deep-rooted daddy issues like Edgeworth has, when that's... the opposite of her character.

(This post got away from me, so TL;DR: Kay is a quick-witted and independent young woman who has worked very hard to be both emotionally and practically intelligent enough to be seen as a legitimate successor to her father's legacy. Making her out to be the traits mentioned above, so she functions as Edgeworth's daughter rather than his investigative partner and equal, undermines her character and semi-conflates her with Maya [the deep-rooted issues bit]. Also I don't like it wksgskaj)

Kay is very, very sharp.

The thing about Kay is that she's not actually in the series as much as it feels like she is, which makes it easy for her character to be altered to suit the needs of the story (which I think happens in The Forgotten Turnabout, but I won't talk about that here). She turns up in two cases as herself in AAI (as in, teenager Kay whom we're most familiar with) and shares her role with Gumshoe, Ema and Franziska when she does, lessening her appearances even further. Nevertheless, there are still concrete elements to her personality that we're made aware of right from the beginning, and the first major one which I feel gets overlooked in favour of her hyperactive characterisation is this:

In terms of mainline assistants, I'd consider her the sharpest of all (maybe after Trucy? But I don't remember enough of AJ to comment on that). Yes, she's shown to be reckless and impulsive, but, when it comes to actual investigating and reasoning, she is solid. With Nick and Maya, you sometimes get the impression that they're both fumbling along until Phoenix catches on (most of the time with Maya's usually a little accidental help, and he still has to explain things to her near every time [not Maya's fault. Following Phoenix's reasoning is like being on a rollercoaster in a minecart]), but Kay is very rarely like that with Edgeworth. Within minutes of meeting him, she can predict what he's going to say (or 'steal his lines', as the game puts it), and there are several moments after he uses Logic and is about to explain what he's connected where Kay interrupts with the correct conclusion herself:

Edgeworth: A second Blue Badger that shouldn't exist... Clearly, the true identity of the person underneath is...

Kay: Oh, I know! It's one of the kidnappers, right!?

There's even a point where she tells him off for overexplaining things to her:

Kay: Yeesh, I told you I got it! Do you feel the need to explain everything!?

And, near the end of their first case together, he acknowledges that's she's generally quite quick:

Kay: OK, what should I re-create first?

Edgeworth: ...You haven't figured it out yet?

Kay: Heh, maybe I have, and maybe I haven't.

Even if you don't take these points into consideration, the fact that she comes up with a new way to use Little Thief, and knows how to use it at all actually, shows you that she's a really intelligent girl! Continuing on a bit from the point I made earlier about her being brash, Kay may be reckless, but she isn't irresponsible. Whenever she rushes into situations, she doesn't expect other people to come save her; she's quite assured that she can and will get herself out of them on her own, and, if she needs help, she asks for it in advance. She treats Edgeworth less like her guardian and more like her investigative partner:

Kay: I didn't get permission to enter Allebahst... so we're going to go gather whatever info we can over on the Babahlese side, OK!?

Edgeworth: Alright, I'm counting on you two.

Kay: Right, and I'm counting on you and Ms. von Karma to sniff out clues in Allebahst!

...

Edgeworth: A number of pieces connect in a very complicated way in this case... It's almost enough to make one completely mentally exhausted.

Kay: Let's not over-complicate matters, OK, Mr. Edgeworth? We've been so focused, like a laser, on only what seems strange and out of place... it's no wonder nothing's clicked and we haven't unlocked anything yet. But, if we think things through calmly, the answer should come to us!

There's an independence to her proactiveness that kind of forces Edgeworth to meet her on equal grounds, and this too is an element that gets lost when the Dadworth dynamic comes in because it involves making Edgeworth responsible -- or feel responsible -- for her actions and general wellbeing when Kay has never expected nor wanted that. She does things on her own terms, and she walks the path she's chosen by herself:

Edgeworth: Preposterous! On what grounds do you suspect her of such a thing!?

Shih-na: The fact that she calls the Yatagarasu. That in itself is a more elegant proof.

Kay: Ms. Shih-na.

Shih-na: Yes?

Kay: I... have no intention of taking back any of what I've said.

Shih-na: ...?

Kay: I am the Great Thief Yatagarasu. And I refuse to allow some imposter to claim that name as their own! The path of justice that my father pointed me towards... I will walk it the best I can!

Her relationship with Edgeworth works as an inverse to that of Nick and Maya's in the way that, where Nick and Maya have deep respect for one another beneath layers upon layers of playful insults and messing about, Kay outwardly respects Edgeworth first (and expects that respect to be returned) and razes him second -- that, too, never to an extent she wouldn't with anyone else or that crosses a certain boundary. Her messing with Edgeworth is shown to be more an attempt to get him to lighten up or not take himself too seriously than an act of (platonic) intimacy as it is with Nick and Maya (which makes sense because Nick and Maya have spent years together, while she's known Edgeworth for all of two weeks) or genuine obliviousness/silliness (although it definitely sometimes is). This is pretty obvious simply from the fact that she always calls him 'Mr Edgeworth', though she's perfectly comfortable calling Gumshoe and Badd, people whom she is more familiar and comfortable with, 'Gummy' and 'Uncle Badd' respectively. Also Kay, in general, is quite polite? Edgeworth calls something she said rude at one point and she gets insulted, and, when you ask for her opinion, she doesn't go 'What?' or 'What is it?', she specifically says, 'Yes?' (this changes in AAI2, which I promise I'm not discussing here) Upon meeting Oldbag, she has this exchange with her, where Kay chooses a more formal mode of address than what is actually offered:

Oldbag: My name is Wendy Oldbag. But you can call me "Wendy", or "Granny", or whatever suits your fancy.

Kay: Nice to meet you, Ms. Oldbag! I'm Kay Faraday.

She's also had moments where she calls Edgeworth out for being 'tactless', and she's shown to feel very strongly about rudeness throughout the whole game. I'm not saying she isn't mischievous or playful, she very much is, but the point is that she's really quite respectful, and this extends to her relationship with him. Her characterisation in Turnabout Ablaze, where she's considerably more excitable/high-strung than in Kidnapped, seems largely due to them chasing down Calisto Yew. Edgeworth even comments on this:

Edgeworth: Kay, you need to look before you leap. You tend to lose your cool when it comes to anything related to that woman.

Generally, though, you can tell that she was obviously raised with an adherence to certain formalities. She's not looking for another parental figure (because she doesn't need one, which I'll go into after this), but, if she was, she'd make that clear.

Kay's a very straightforward person at heart; she doesn't hide any part of herself, even the part that should be hidden (i.e. the Yatagarasu). There are points where she suggests that Edgeworth reminds her of her father, but, in AAI, she specifically mentions that it's both Edgeworth and Gumshoe who remind her of her father and Detective Badd. It's not about her seeing Edgeworth as a father figure; it's about their and her own dedication to the truth. Even in AAI2, where her comments could be read as leaning more towards the former angle, she doesn't get cut up about him not picking up on that or really paying it much emphasis at all, because it doesn't matter. The fact that he reminds her of Byrne is just that: a fact.

Returning to the point about Kay not needing/wanting another parental figure, I think it's pretty self-explanatory, but to put it succinctly: Kay has the guidance she needs without him.

To put it less succinctly, Edgeworth's possibly the worst candidate to go for for emotional support and guidance in the first place, and by the time she meets him again, she's basically processed her father's passing and has a better handle on herself emotionally than Edgeworth does (not a brag; most characters have higher EQ than Edgeworth); what she wants isn't necessarily closure for Byrne's death in the emotional sense but in the I-want-answers-to-this-mystery-that-will-restore-my-family's-honour sense. You could make the argument that Kay becoming the second Yatagarasu and shaping her entire future around continuing her father's work prove that she isn't over his death, but I don't think that's true and more of a result of conflating her with Maya a bit.

With Maya, becoming the Master isn't something she chooses; it's given to her by Misty and Mia. With Kay, it's the opposite. Kay's decision to become the Yatagarasu and pursue the truth is wholly her own, and her approach to that goal reflects that. While Maya uses her cheery, upbeat attitude to conceal a lot of self-doubt and vulnerability (and Franziska does the same with her hostility), Kay does not. Her cheerfulness is precisely who she is; it's not a mask so much as it is a distraction. It keeps people from looking at her too closely and realising exactly how capable she is, and, while I don't think it's fully intentional (again, she believes in living her life in a straightforward and upfront manner), she does imply that it's sort of her (or the Yatagarasu's) MO:

Kay: Well! By the time everyone notices, it's already gone! That's the Yatagarasu way!

Interestingly enough, this unintentional tactic of using humour and cheeriness as a distraction from her abilities makes her a mirror to Calisto Yew, who also uses her seemingly always light-hearted nature as a disguise for what she's actually capable of (Calisto's joviality is her true self, too, or at least as 'true' as she can get). The difference between them is that Calisto delights in ironically mocking the world around her, whereas Kay finds joy in life itself, and she's stronger for it.

The only part where we see Kay attempt to mask her feelings is when she's a child, and even then she admits that she feels better after crying, which, I believe, led to her becoming more open with her emotions later in life (see how her older self has a teary sprite which makes pretty frequent appearances where her younger self does not). In any case, to me, this shows that she has people in her life already who are helping, and have helped, her confront and process her trauma. She's not looking to Edgeworth to help her make sense of her father's death and she definitely isn't looking for a replacement (again, literally dedicated to continuing her father's [and Badd's] legacy). Whenever Edgeworth even gets close to becoming parental with her, she dismisses it, unless she acknowledges that she is in the wrong:

Edgeworth: ...Kay, it's not good for you to stay up late, you know.

Kay: Yes, gramps!

...

Edgeworth: ...I appreciate your sense of justice, however... I would appreciate it if you wouldn't go running into the heart of any more raging fires.

Kay: Nngh... Yes, Mr. Edgeworth... I'll try...

Despite her buoyancy and bright attitude, Kay is quite firm that she be treated as an adult (she doesn't see her cheeriness as a mark of youth; it's joie de vivre, it's who she is, and that's that), and, throughout the game, she gets annoyed when people don't respect that (her arguments with Lang are largely over how he calls Little Thief a toy and her crow-girl). She holds her own and relies on herself while being unafraid of asking for help.

Anyway, this post has gone on for long enough and I think I've addressed the points I wanted to. I should mention that I realise that a lot of how many people portray/interpret their relationship is validated by AAI2 but that's honestly a discussion for a separate post HAHA I feel like, when it comes to AAI, the father/daughter interpretation can maybe be argued with regards to the way Edgeworth treats her? Honestly, though, I think he'd treat any young lady who suddenly becomes part of his team/responsibility in pretty much the same way. And, like, he drops the ball almost every time he's supposed to give "fatherly" advice because he's just not that great with it/children!! It's actually hilarious HSKSDHSK

Either way, yeah! I just think Kay is actually given a lot less credit than she's due when the Dadworth card gets played and I just! Want better for her!!

#kay faraday #miles edgeworth #ace attorney investigations #EMBARRASSINGLY long post. i want to add that this isnt an attack on anyone who likes the dadworth dynamic!!! it's semi-supported by canon #and like. it's literally fandom wskdhdk do what makes you happy. i just feel like kay gets minimised a bit when it happens (including when #it's done in game) and i just want people to realise that she's not actually like that!! she's actually so smart and rly mature??? #oh i want to add that i generally like both aai games i just prefer the first one. i know some people go for a sibling dynamic between them #rather than a father daughter one (which makes sense bc... they have 10 years between them hskddhk) but im an advocate for friendship being #just as important and valid as it would be if it did mimic a family relationship even if it didnt so that doesnt do much for me either #i just think she wants to be seen as an equal to him as any of his other partners would be #oh i didnt mention this in the post but i also feel like people mix her with ema a bit in the future versions of her? #like she becomes snarky and a little sarcastic (or suave/flirty in a roundabout manner if it's a ship post) when her whole thing is being #direct. she tells shih na to her face that 'those sunglasses dont do anything for her so she'll steal them next time' she's great #the snarky sarcasm thing is again ema. not maya or her but ema. and franziska #ok i need to shut up now im done thank u <3