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ravs6709 · 3 months

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An X-Ray Ain't Needed To See Within- Dex Study (ish), Minor Fedex

Word count: 7.9k words

Ao3 link here.

Aaaaaaaand here I am, nearly a whole month late, but my kotlc secret santa gift from @song-tam 's exchange is finally done!

@an-ungraceful-swan I'm your secret santa!!! So sorry for being as late as I am (the shit going on in my personal life was unreal) but I hope this near 8k fic will make up for the wait!

Because I was told to just "surprise you", I let the brain pick out a concept and spun it around in my head until this fic was made

That is, I took the vague premise of a fic from a different fandom -> the idea that every person is to be entrusted with taking care of someone else's heart—quite literally. Other than that, it's basically a canon rewrite of books 1-4 (ish, not all through 4) from dex pov with minor (pre-relationship) fedex

Warnings: depiction of the kidnapping/torture scene from book 1, bug stab Fitz scene from book 4, descriptions of heart anatomy (not too graphic but still fair warning), brief mention of vomit

Hope you enjoy!

•~•~•~•~•~•

"What's that?" A young Dex asked his mom. He'd barged into his parents' room without warning them, and saw Juline holding a heart in her hands, singing softly while Kesler held her hand with one hand, holding a different heart in the other.

"They're hearts," Juline said, but Dex knew that much.

"Why?" There were a whole slew of questions, like why the hearts were beating despite not being connected to a body, or why they were coloured in different shades of blue and green and yellow even though they should have been red, or where they even got a heart from. Dex was just barely older than a toddler, and while elves were born with some understanding of the world around them from birth, he’d never seen this before.

Kesler and Juline shared a look, and Dex didn't like that his mom was starting to frown. Was this supposed to be a secret?

"I don't want him to know everything yet," Juline said.

"He'll have to know eventually," Kesler said, "and it's not that bad."

Juline raised an eyebrow. "Tell me you weren't terrified when you first held a heart in your hand. I know I was."

"Fine, yes, but we'll help him adjust. The risk is minimal, very few have--"

"But she was one of them. Kesler, please," Juline said, her voice quiet, "We'll wait until he's older, okay? He’ll already have enough on his plate as is."

Kesler closed his eyes and took a breath, then squeezed her hand. "Sorry, I didn't think of her--okay. We’ll wait."

"Wait until I'm old enough for what?" Dex asked.

His parents both startled, turning to look at him, as if they'd forgotten he was right there.

Juline hummed, letting go of Kesler's hand so that she could trace gentle lines across Dex's face. "I'll tell you a little bit, but I won't tell you the rest until you're older, okay? Once it’s relevant to you."

"How much older?"

"Three years," Kesler answered.

For Dex, that sounded like a really long time. But as young as he knew he was, he was old enough to be able to tell when there were certain topics that made his parents upset. Abilities were one of them. Discussing the triplets with the other elves was another. He didn't know all the details, but he knew that the other elves didn't like his parents and they thought his siblings were wrong, and he knew they didn't like talking about those things in front of him.

Dex nodded. "Okay."

Juline held the heart out to him. "When you grow older, you'll have a heart to take care of."

The heart in her hand was a myriad of colours, it reminded him of Slurps and Burps with all the random splotches of colours all over it.

"Does it bleed?" Dex asked.

Juline smiled at him. "No, it doesn't. Do you want to touch it?"

He nodded, curious. When she held the heart out to him, he gently traced a finger along an artery. It was warm. It really was beating, and he didn’t imagine it.

“It represents the heart of another elf."

"Another elf?"

"It represents your dad's heart. It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"Dad's heart?" Dex looked at Kesler, who had a fond look on his face. He was cradling a heart of his own in his hands, this one lacked the same colourful whimsy, but the various shades of blue with hints of colour had Dex thinking that it suited his mother. He opened his mouth to ask if elves always married the person who held their heart, then realized that was a stupid question because the elves didn't like his parents' marriage.

"Will I get a heart to hold too?" Dex asked.

"Yeah. You will."

•~•~•~•~•~•

What Dex assumed to be "several years later," Dex woke up and found a teal heart on the nightstand beside his bed. Blue-green, with hints of navy and gold that seemed to trace along where the blood would have flowed had the heart been in an actual body.

He'd had full intention of just lazing in bed for the entire morning, but he knew he had to tell his parents. He took the heart in his hands, beating softly, a rhythm unfamiliar to him. He walked to his parents room--they were already awake, Kesler preparing for work, while Juline was gently carrying her husband’s heart.

"Dex?" Kesler asked, "what's up--oh."

"It's about time he received his heart to hold," Juline said. "Dex, come sit down on the bed."

He sat down. Despite how he'd seen them direct plenty of fond looks towards their own hearts, neither of them seemed particularly excited to talk about his heart.

"To have a heart means to take care of it. But there's more to it than that, isn't there?" Dex asked.

"Let me be blunt with you," Juline said. She looked pained, her turquoise eyes slightly dull. "You must take care of your heart. If you do not take care of it well, the person who that heart belongs to will die."

To the average elf, it would probably have an initial shock. Elves lived forever, as far as they all knew. Elvin deaths were rare, a few wanderlings planted, but still, only a few.

To Dex, he himself had never witnessed a death. He had never known, never had been in this world long enough to know, but still, he knew, he knew that his family was haunted by a death from before he was born, and that because of it, he rarely ever got to see his aunt and uncle because they isolated themselves from everyone else. He'd never be able to grow up knowing her.

"Did cousin Jolie's heart..?"

"Her body was in a condition where she could have lived," Juline said, looking away. "But her heart–her heart had been burnt too much in the fire."

"Oh," he said, because what else could he say?

"To take care of that heart, you must keep it physically safe. But not just that, you also need to keep it emotionally safe too. An emotional or mental issue can be just as severe as a physical one."

"So I'll need to keep it around me often," Dex understood.

Kesler nodded, reaching out to ruffle his hair. "It'll be fine. Elf hearts aren't too fragile, so don't stress too much, okay?" Then looked down at his heart that was Juline's, the blues looking slightly pale. "You'll be able to recognize signs beforehand." He traced along an artery, and Dex watched as his mother closed her eyes, the tension releasing from her shoulders. Vibrancy flowed through like blood, painting it. "I know you'll take care of it well."

•~•~•~•~•~•

On occasion, Dex noticed how the heart would react differently. It wasn't at any regular occurrence, though it always seemed to last a few hours at a time. When that happened, he held the heart closer, turning it over in his palm. It tended to have a slow, steady pulse; the beat of a drum, the tick of a clock. Slow, steady, controlled, but during the odd moments the heartbeat would grow faster and weaker, like panic seeping into his bloodstream sometimes, when it made his skin all clammy and pale. It was the gold of the heart that would fade first, then the navy, though the teal always seemed to stay intact. At least though, the heart didn't get clammy like his hands would. No gross sweat or blood, just a beating heart.

He wasn't sure why, but sometimes he got the feeling that the elf the heart belonged to was kind of lonely. He'd seen Kesler's heart, bright and vibrant. Even Juline's had its own sort of uniqueness to it. The heart he held was beautiful, a piece of art, but distant. A painting that was not allowed to be touched after having been made.

Dex wondered how old the other elf was. The heart in his hands was smaller compared to his Kesler's or Juline's, so maybe it was possible that they were around Dex's age? He'd hope so. He'd be starting Foxfire at some point, it'd be nice if he had a friend there. One that wouldn't mind Dex being the son of a bad match, one who wouldn't be too judgmental.

•~•~•~•~•~•

When Dex started Foxfire, he had high hopes. Hopes that were quickly crushed. As he walked in the hallways, he could sense gazes following his path. No table ever wanted to let him sit there, so he tried finding random corners in the hallways to eat by himself, until one of his mentors noticed and took pity on him, allowing him to eat in that classroom. There was Stina, who openly insulted his family, so he got his revenge only for the situation between them to escalate.

And then there was Fitz Vacker. His first meeting with Fitz wasn't special, he happened to be with his dad and sister as customers for Slurps and Burps, and just like all the stuffy nobles, both him and Biana Vacker cringed at the sight of his family's apothecary. Maybe he wouldn't even have remembered him if he wasn't a Vacker. There were tons of people who shopped at the apothecary only to never acknowledge him in Foxfire. But then he saw Fitz again. And again. And again. In the hallway on his way to class. In the cafeteria as they waited in line to get the same food. The winner of the splotching tournament--had been, for years, if the screaming was to be believed.

Fitz was everywhere, popular, so many of the girls had a crush on him. He heard non-stop mooning about whether the heart they held would belong to him. Top marks, perfect looks. Dex was sick of it. Fitz wasn't special.

It made him almost want to hate the heart that he held, that teal heart that matched his eyes. He scoffed at the thought that the person whose heart he held was Fitz, or even Biana. Yet it was still a beating heart, his to nurture, and no matter how much the colour irritated him. Somewhere out there, there was someone who was relying on him. The thought alone pushed him forward.

•~•~•~•~•~•

During his next year at Foxfire, a new elf named Sophie Foster came out of nowhere. She lived with Aunt Edaline and Uncle Grady, she was an elf that once lived with humans. If that weren't cool enough, she didn't seem to care about his family and their status. Yeah, sure, it was because she didn't really know anything, period, but she still took the information in stride and chose to be friends with him.

And she was kind of cute. And smart, and totally fun--she'd gotten on Stina's bad side and destroyed Lady Galvin's cape. And...

And of course she liked Fitz. Because of course she did. Why wouldn't she? The perfect guy.

•~•~•~•~•~•

"Is that a--is that a heart?" Sophie asked.

They were taking a break in between one of Sophie's alchemy tutoring sessions, and Dex had grabbed his heart to unwind.

"Yeah? Why do you sound surprised? Don't you have one of your own?"

"No???"

Huh. That was weird. "Wonderboy didn't mention it to you or anything?"

"No??? Is this a normal elf thing?"

"Each elf gets a heart to take care of, it represents the heart of another elf. It's important, because breaking the heart means killing the elf."

"Oh. Am I exempt from this, because I don't remember a heart? Or did I accidentally kill an elf?"

"You're probably fine. While the elf who holds your heart isn't the only elf who can take care of your heart," he began, "the fact that you haven't died yourself says something. Besides, elvin deaths are super rare, remember? I can't remember the last time there was a Wanderling--Wylie Endal's mother, maybe?"

There had been a change in her facial expression, but Dex decided not to press. The Council actually explored that, ensuring there was no risk of attachment. Besides, the elf that Jolie loved--Brant, if Dex recalled his name correctly--was still alive as he proceeded to take care of his own scarred heart. That's what his mom had told him when he'd asked.

"Huh," Sophie said. "Well, whoever's heart I was supposed to take care of, I hope they're doing well."

"Yeah," Dex murmured, "me too."

•~•~•~•~•~•

Sophie started hanging out with Fitz and Biana, much to his annoyance. Like, going to his house on a constant basis hanging out. She even had him promise to keep the Wonderboy bashing to a minimum.

(But she also considered him her best friend, so he supposed he could take it as a win.)

•~•~•~•~•~•

Sophie. A Vacker. Or, potentially a Vacker. Grady and Edaline had cancelled her adoption, and she could be adopted by the Vackers. Siblings with Fitz and Biana? Gross.

Maybe he was too harsh on Sophie when he'd told her not to trust them. But she didn't understand—they didn't look at people below them and view them as equals. And it was proven as such, when Stina, of all people, exposed Biana for only having befriended Sophie because her dad told her to.

I told you so, he wanted to tell her so badly, but they were in Study Hall. Do you see what they're truly like—

"Dex?" A voice called out, and he nearly jolted as he realized that Fitz was talking to him. Ugh.

"What?" he asked, the acid in his voice so strong even Fitz flinched as if he’d been burned.

"You need to be with her."

"You two are the ones who caused this mess—"

"She won't talk to us. She needs you."

Dex almost started screaming at him for cutting him off, but the words made him freeze. He paused, took a deep breath. "Am I supposed to put in a good word for you? Newsflash, Wonderboy, I'm not doing that."

Fitz sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Just be there. I don't-- I don't want her to be alone."

And that got Dex standing up, immediately grabbing his stuff. Damn it, leave it to Wonderboy to get him to realize that Sophie's comfort meant more than his own petty sense of righteousness.

When he made it to the cave at Havenfield, something felt off. He took a few tentative steps forward. Another few steps, and a voice that sounded like Sophie's rang out in his head, telling him to run. Before he could even think, someone grabbed him from behind, shoving a cloth over his mouth.

No, he thought. Sophie. He fought against his captor and...

•~•~•~•~•~•

He woke up, restrained. Everything was dark and he could barely breathe and it was burning it was burning—

In the off moments where he was awake and not burning until he fell unconscious again, he would barely be able to muster worried thoughts. His parents, how were they doing? The triplets.

Sophie. Sophie, who must be somewhere close and was also in the same situation and she was being tortured too. His heart. The one he normally held wasn't with him since he kept it at his house when he attended Foxfire, but what about the elf who held his heart? Did the elf care?

He fought against his restraints, managed to break free of them.

He'd barely made it two steps before a voice said, "One more step, and the girl dies."

"We should just kill him anyway," another voice said. "He's useless to us. A hindrance."

Dex sank back onto the chair, feeling absolutely useless for not being able to do anything.

•~•~•~•~•~•

When he woke up, he was in some unfamiliar area with Sophie, no kidnappers in sight. Turned out that they were in the Forbidden Cities. But that was fine, they were safe. Well, for now. Apparently there were a lot of secrets that Sophie had kept hidden from everyone. A telepath.

He'd also at some point manifested as a technopath. Huh. He was relieved that he had an ability, but ugh, did it have to be technopathy? It wasn't nearly as cool as telepathy.

The kidnappers had come again, one of them wielding a fucking melder, and as he was shot by it once, twice, and he was incapacitated on the floor, he could vaguely see Sophie trembling in rage as they all fell over. He couldn’t move, talk, or even see, but he knew when Sophie had picked him up to leap despite them being too injured and—

•~•~•~•~•~•

When Dex woke up again, he was laying in a bed. He had half a mind to just sink into the soft comfort of the bed, but as he woke up, all his senses awakened: the burns on his skin, the sting from the melder.

"Sophie," he gasped.

"Hey, relax," a voice said, and Dex opened his eyes to see Keefe staring at him. "You can't get out of bed yet."

"But Sophie--"

"Foster's alive," Keefe said, "she's alive, and Elwin's going to see her before he comes to see you."

Dex tried to pull himself into a sitting position, but it hurt too much, and Keefe had to help him out. "Is she okay?"

Dex watched as Keefe paused. His eyes closed, as he took a deep breath. He turned away, then back at him, and Dex had a feeling that he wasn't going to like what his answer was going to be. As if delaying to increase the weight of impact, turning to the desk next to him and picking up a heart.

"This is the heart I hold, it belongs to Foster," Keefe said. "I realized it when... well. You'll see."

Dex sucked in a breath. The heart, brown and gold and red looked so frail in his hands, just barely beating. The entire left side was nearly transparent, from ventricle all the way up to the aorta. He could actually see the red flow of blood, slow but not steady.

"The light leap," he realized. He remembered being carried, remembered being leaped. All of him was intact, not a single cell faded away, and he wasn't conscious enough to provide his own concentration to leap them. Sophie she-- she put everything into him.

"Foster's alive," Keefe repeated, "and Elwin's going to see her."

Dex stared at the heart that Keefe had, desperately hoping that she'd be okay. Looked at every heartbeat, to see if each pulse would become slower paced. So when the heart was still faded and Elwin had walked into this room, he was worried.

"Sophie's sedated, and I can't lie and say that she's okay right now," he explained before Dex could start rapid-fire asking questions, "but I can't do much else for now without waiting to see if what I've done for now will let her heal. So for now, I'll work with you."

Dex had been to Elwin once or twice for minor incidents at Foxfire for his elementalism class, and while getting healed wasn't bad, it wasn't really something he liked per se. However, there was no trace of discomfort as he could only focus on Sophie. His eyes couldn't leave the half-faded heart.

Elwin's gaze followed his own. "That's... a weird heart. Sophie's, I'm guessing?"

Dex nodded.

"That's probably good to keep close, given Sophie's already high attendance at the Healing Centre."

Elwin had said it as a joke, but neither him, Dex, nor Keefe felt like laughing.

"Are you going to tell her about the heart?" Dex asked.

Keefe paused, surprisingly hesitant considering what he knew of him. "You two are close, have you seen the heart she has yet? Would you say it reflects me well?"

"Sophie doesn't have one with her," Dex said. "She's got no memory of ever seeing a heart like that."

Though, now knowing what he knew, Dex guessed that the Black Swan probably had her heart? Since no human would be so accepting of a living, beating heart.

Keefe blinked. "Oh. Then... I guess I won't tell her yet. Don't tell anyone else either? At least-- not until she gets her own." He looked back up at Elwin, and Dex had forgotten that he was even there. Elwin nodded.

After the worst of Dex's injuries were healed, Keefe and Elwin left to go see Sophie, while he was ordered to rest for a bit. He knew that sleep wouldn't come easy, but the stress of everything had kicked in and eventually he was knocked out. At some point, the door had opened, quiet but enough to rouse him into consciousness. He was too tired to open his eyes. Footsteps approached the bed, close, stopping a few steps away. There was the sound of a heart beating, maybe. He could feel his own heart in his chest beating in time to the sound.

"It’s you..." A whisper sounded out. Quiet, low, familiar.

He wanted to open his eyes and see who was there, to see if it was who he thought it was (not that it made any sense at all for him to be here), but it was nice and warm in bed, his heart feeling warmer than ever as he drifted back to sleep.

•~•~•~•~•~•

"Dex!" Bex called, running up to him and hugging him. His two brothers joined the call, all of them shoving to hold him close. Dex wrapped his arms around them.

His parents stood slightly off to the side, their skin paler than he remembered. Both of their hair was messy, and he could see as they clung to each other's hands.

"Don't leave us ever again," Rex cried, smearing his tears on his shirt. Neither of the other two triplets made fun of him for crying as they both fought back their own tears.

Dex could only nod, his throat too choked up to speak. He could only hope that would be true.

•~•~•~•~•~•

Weeks passed, and slowly, Sophie recovered from having almost fading away. He'd spent his fair share of the time alternating between hanging near Keefe to stare at Sophie's heart, and taking care of the heart that he had.

His own heart... during the kidnapping, what had it looked like? Did it mirror his state too? Had there been burns all over it? He could vaguely picture someone cradling it, oh so confused as to what was going on. Did they panic? He supposed that no one had been able to connect the timing of it all back to his disappearance, given that nobody came in rushing to tell him.

Then again, who would have wanted to admit that they held Dex Dizznee's heart?

•~•~•~•~•~•

For the next few weeks, everything went back to normal. Sort of. He visited Sophie to help her with the animals at Havenfield, helped his dad at the store, sat in his room and tinkered with gadgets—this time using his ability.

He'd tried working on a variety of inventions, his major priority having been a device that would somewhat replicate telepathy.

He also had a side project, he wondered if it was possible to be able to know the heartbeats when he was not with the heart.

His parents were concerned, rightfully, but they were getting way too on his case. Between them and looking after his siblings, he felt suffocated.

But other than that, things were back to normal-ish (if he ignored the nightmares and the constant dread he felt).

...until Sophie found an alicorn, then suddenly she had a whole bunch of secrets she couldn't tell him, and she was so busy that he could barely even see her. Both Fitz and Biana weren't coming to Foxfire.

The heart he had, it was doing something weird, and it had him panicking. It was slightly swollen, the arteries and veins bulging a faint red, not unlike the way the veins in his hands would when he clenched his fists trying to hold back his anger at the triplets for breaking yet another thing of his. But that kind of anger was situational, just a brief moment. Maybe at worst, lasting a day, if he was having a really bad day.

The heart represented an elf's physical and mental state. He didn't know much about how hearts worked physically, but Dex had the feeling that the problem with the other elf wasn't physical. Obviously though, everyone would go through a variety of feelings, and not every feeling could be reflected from moment to moment.

So the problem was clearly mental, and it was clearly huge. The weird bulging persisted for one, two, three, more days.

"So, just the three of us?" Marella asked during lunch. "Again?"

Sophie and Keefe had ended up in detention, so the group at the lunch table was the smallest it'd been in a while.

"Something's clearly up," Dex said.

Marella rolled her eyes. "Obviously. The Vackers not being here is proof of that."

The group fell into an awkward silence, and not even Jensi's generally uplifting demeanor could ease it.

"The heart I have has been acting weird," Dex said suddenly.

Matters of the heart were generally kept private, but he didn't want to keep it to himself, and he didn't really want to tell his parents yet, even though they'd probably have some kind of solution.

"Weird how?" Jensi asked.

"It's getting all bulge-y, it's kinda gross."

"Mine's been paler than normal lately," Marella said. "Not quite shrinking in on itself, but curling weirdly. It almost feels like it wants to hide away. Been like that for a few days now."

Nobody said anything else after that, and they went back to eating their lunches in silence.

•~•~•~•~•~•

The whole elf heart scare had him working harder on his invention. He couldn't keep the heart on him at all times, it was too fragile to do so. But he needed to know. Needed to know if the heart would burst.

When it was revealed that Alden's mind had broken, when his wanderling had been planted and he'd learned that Fitz was blaming Sophie, he almost thought that it'd be another thing for Dex to hate Fitz for.

He thought back to the heart, ready to burst, and Fitz's explosive anger. This much... this much he didn't think he could hate Fitz for, even if he was being an ass. He thought of his parents trying to keep him in his house, the triplets telling him what they'd been like while he'd been proclaimed dead.

Fitz's own manifestation was a stranger to him in the sense that Dex had never been in that state before, but understandable nonetheless. If he didn't dislike Fitz, if they'd became friends, maybe Dex would comfort him.

But Dex did dislike him, and they weren't friends, and so Dex turned all his attention towards the heart. It was the only thing he could really do, while Sophie had her own things to do and Keefe was helping her.

Nothing he did seemed to work, but whether the other elf had gotten over it or if circumstances had changed, the swelling had eventually gone down and the heart looked normal again. The beats were slightly unsteady, but the heart didn't look like it was ready to burst.

(He tried to not think about the timing of it all.)

•~•~•~•~•~•

Someone decided to be a snitch and tell Dame Alina that he'd manifested as a technopath. Ugh. He blew up on Sophie a bit, and then learned from Dame Alina that the Council had told her.

The Council.

The Council? They cared about his ability? Enough to have his mentor be Lady Iskra? The most famous technology who invented like... everything cool. Sure, his ability wouldn't do much, but he got to work with Lady Iskra.

•~•~•~•~•~•

He finished the heart monitor, and then began to work on a panic switch for Sophie, because the kidnappers would come again. He knew it. He made them both into rings, and he gave Sophie the panic switch ring. And yeah, he knew that a ring wasn't the greatest, but it was the best option he had.

He could see it on her face though, that she wanted nothing to do with it. Half of Foxfire were talking about their matching rings, but that wasn't the point. The point was that Sophie needed other ways to be able to reach out. Not just to Fitz via telepathy, but also to him.

Because he was important too. She was his best friend. He was her best friend, as she'd called him. But lately, he didn't feel like that was the case.

•~•~•~•~•~•

His next invention was an ability enhancer. Sophie was going to heal Fintan, which was definitely going to be dangerous, and she needed to be able to have every card in her favour. An Ancient's mind wouldn't be easy to penetrate.

But when he told her about his invention, she didn't want it. She didn't seem to trust him. But she trusted Fitz, enough to let him past her blocking apparently. Because they had a "connection."

What about her connection with him? Did they not matter?

"Seriously?" Fitz asked, staring at the circlet. He couldn't for the life of him tell if that was curiosity or disgust, but when Keefe grabbed it out of his hands, he forgot all about that.

Dame Alina told him to put it away and for them to all be quiet, and he was hurt that Sophie didn't even consider using it.

I think... A voice said in his head, and he jolted when he realized it was Wonderboy. I think it's cool, but it's too risky.

Seriously?

This entire task is risky, he thought, carefully trying to not think of anything too awful.

I know. But that's exactly why we can't use it yet.

Was that Fitz's way of comforting him, or what?

We can't rely on technology to replace telepathy in this situation.

Wonderboy, get out of my head, he thought bitterly, turning his gaze down to his notebook as reread all his notes on the circlet.

...surprisingly, Fitz left without another word.

What was even the point of that? He didn't understand, he would never understand. What would someone as privileged as him know what Dex was feeling, to be able to even attempt comforting him?

•~•~•~•~•~•

As the healing proceeded and Dex was just stuck at home, he couldn't just sit and rest. His siblings were running around screaming as though everything were normal, but everything was not normal.

He alternated between holding the heart, fidgeting with the ability enhancer and looking at his panic switch. When the heart started beating fast, somehow Dex knew that something was wrong. And even though he knew he wasn't capable of helping at all, he rushed out to see his parents—

—only to find his dad just as distressed as he was.

"Dad, what's wrong?" He asked, trying to swallow his panic.

Kesler only said one word, but that was enough: "Everblaze."

He started rushing out, grabbing all his alchemy supplies and Dex followed after him.

"No," Kesler grabbed his shoulders, and Dex froze. "You can't come."

No no no absolutely not. "You'll need every alchemist."

"I said you can't come, Dex. And that's final."

They're in danger, he wanted to say, and he had no idea if he was talking about Sophie and the others, or the elf whose heart he held.

When Kesler left, Dex didn't even take off his shoes. He kept staring at his ring, wondering if Sophie would call for him.

...of course, she didn't.

The next few hours passed by in a blur, even though he was just holed up in his room. He kept himself busy, and was surprised when his dad came back, Councilor Terik accompanying him. What was a Councilor doing in his house--his room? It was even weirder when Kesler nodded at him and left the two of them alone.

"Dex Dizznee, the technopath. I see you've got quite the workstation here."

Dex bowed, flushing at his words. Was that supposed to be a compliment? An insult?

"Dame Alina mentioned that you were working on an ability enhancer?"

"Y–yeah. I am. It's untested, and—"

"Can I test it?"

"Um," Dex said, not knowing how to reply to that. "I designed it with telepathy in mind specifically, so it wouldn't work on you."

"I see. I think your inventions have great potential, Mister Dizznee."

"Really?" Dex asked, beaming. A Councilor thought he showed potential? "You think it'll work?"

Councilor Terik smiled at him, a thin, wan smile. "Maybe not an enhancer. But... an ability restrictor, possibly."

Dex could tell what he was talking about. If Fintan didn't have his pyrokinesis, he wouldn't have set Everblaze.

"But that's not what I wanted to ask you about. The Council would like your help in the creation of weapons."

He mouthed the word, hating how it felt on his tongue. Weapons. Elves didn't usually use weapons.

...but Dex had a weapon used on him, and he could still remember the shock of the melder—

"I'll do it," he said.

His own inventions, needed by the Council. To think the Council would want help from a Dizznee. If only Stina could hear this, see that Councilor asked for his help specifically, had thought he displayed potential in his talents. No one would talk bad about him or his family again.

"I'll get back to you on what kind of weapons that we will want soon. I'll also be bringing up the restrictor with the others, so it may be possible that we'll ask you to create one."

Dex nodded, and Councilor Terik left.

•~•~•~•~•~•

No. No no no, it couldn't be like this. They'd told him that the restrictor would be used on people who needed their abilities taken away, and Dex had imagined those black-cloaked figures, those murderers.

He didn't think it'd be used on Sophie.

He watched as she convulsed in pain, falling to the floor, curling up. A few cries had escaped her, and nothing could be more haunting than that.

Apologies spilled from his lips, and when Sophie looked at him, she looked so broken.

"I'm not having anything more to do with this," he said to the Council, "I'm not helping you with that."

"And need I remind you that disobeying a direct order from the Council is an exile-able offense?" Councilor Emery asked.

He didn't care if he went to Exile. Not if it meant this.

"It's okay, Dex," Sophie said, "Just do what they're saying."

"How can you say that?" He asked, his voice cracking.

How could she bear that pain? Bear her abilities being taken away, becoming Talentless, and knowing it was due to the hands of someone who proclaimed to consider her his best friend? How could he live like this? It was a betrayal. And he couldn't do anything, he couldn't fix it, because they threatened to exile his family.

He thought... he truly thought he was helping. Making a difference. Being useful.

But never in his life did he feel more useless than he did now.

•~•~•~•~•~•

Sophie drank slumberry tea. A sedative. Something he knew she refused to use. He visited Sophie, apologizing uselessly, and he came across the others--her friends. They were Sophie's friends, not his.

Unsurprisingly, none of them were able to meet his eye. None of them jumped him, beat him or anything like that, and he supposed that was the best he could ask for. For a moment, he thought he'd felt Fitz's gaze on him, and he wondered if Fitz was going to transmit in his brain again like he did earlier. When he looked at Fitz, he turned away, and his mind remained silent.

...he wasn't sure why that hurt, considering he didn't like Fitz, and Fitz sure as hell wouldn't like him. It's not like anything he could have said would make things better.

(But anything, anything, would feel better than the ashamed glances directed at him.)

•~•~•~•~•~•

He had Sophie promise to use her panic switch if she needed anything, but he didn't think she'd use it so soon. She wasn't at Havenfield. He leaped there as soon as he could, and saw Everblaze burning.

A pyrokinetic, holding a ball of fire ready to be thrown at Sophie and Grady. Dex didn't think, he ran and tackled the elf. It bought Sophie a few seconds, but the elf had grabbed him by the throat, his voice that had haunted his nightmares. Fingertips searing his skin just like his memories.

With the help of another invention he made, he was able to send Brant--he was pretty sure he was Brant, based on the little he'd heard--reeling, and they restrained him. He was ready to make sure Brant was captured, but Brant knew about the Black Swan's ambush.

He didn't hesitate to take off that circlet from her head, throwing it into the Everblaze. The Council could exile him, that's fine with him. But he refused to let anything happen to his friends.

•~•~•~•~•~•

After everything, the Council would be after them. Sophie was planning to run away to the Black Swan, and he knew that he wouldn't let her go without him. They left for there, Keefe, Fitz, Biana too. It was weird, being roommates with Fitz and Keefe. He hadn't exactly been friends with them--eating lunch together at Foxfire had always been more about their mutual friendship with Sophie.

The riddles unfortunately did not stop, but at least they were assigned a mission. Of course, that didn't stop them from doing their own snooping.

•~•~•~•~•~•

"Did Mr. Forkle ever give you your heart?" Dex asked Sophie.

"I did try asking once," Sophie replied. Her face scrunched in annoyance. "He said it'd be a distraction. I mean, come on, I get to be the freaky brown-eyed elf with lots of abilities, and they think I can't take care of a heart? I feel bad for whoever's heart that is, I'm sure the Black Swan's too busy to notice every detail."

"I'd feel bad for them too," Dex said, trying not to think about how Keefe's mom was a part of the Neverseen. That heart would definitely need a lot of comfort.

"Are you two talking about hearts?" Fitz asked, walking into the room, holding a heart in his hand.

Huh. He never thought he'd actually see Wonderboy holding one. It was on the smaller end, blue and rusty copper and bits of green.

"Oh, that's cool, can I touch it?" Sophie asked.

Fitz's eyes flitted to him for a moment, then nodded.

"Is it hard to find out whose heart belongs to who?"

"Depends," Dex shrugged. "If the elves are already close with each other, then they're more likely to figure it out."

"It's not a documented system like Matchmaking is, so there are plenty of elves near ancient who probably have no idea who their heart belongs to," Fitz added.

"So I'm guessing it'd be stupid to ask if you knew who your heart belonged to?" Sophie asked.

Surprisingly, Fitz tensed. Both him and Sophie started staring into each other's eyes. Probably having a telepathic conversation. Gross. He waited a minute before he pretended to gag, and the two jolted.

"You should... tell them," Sophie said quietly.

"I know," Fitz replied, his voice just as soft, "but they won't be ready to hear it. I don't want them to feel obligated."

Ew, they were still ignoring that he was there. And what was that about what Fitz said? Feel obligated? People would give the world to be able to brag about holding Fitz's heart, even if it wasn't romantic. But like everyone had a crush on him anyway, so how on earth would it be an obligation?

He was surprisingly loyal, got angry and spiteful like everyone else, that golden image just a coverup. Not as perfect as what they all thought him to be, but he was a good friend. He was willing to run away from his perfect life and perfect family, to side with Sophie. To do everything in his power to help his world.

And that, Dex could respect.

•~•~•~•~•~•

Dex had spent days practicing working on the lock from Exile so that they could rescue Prentice. He was a little worried when Sophie's directions were apparently taking them to the surface. Even more so when the lock was changed, and they couldn't even access the inside of the cell.

The Council even showed up, trapping them. Things were escalating, and Mr. Forkle was ready to turn himself in. But not if Dex could help it. He'd brought several different small cubes with him, in case anything happened. The first filled the room with burning green mist, the second squawked and served as further distraction.

The third was zapped by Councilor Zarina, and--

It was going to explode.

"Everybody get down!" He screamed, but the room was too loud and no one could hear him.

No one but Fitz, who grabbed it and flung it away from them all. But not in time for the explosion to send him flying, landing right on the sharp horn of an arthropleura.

He was running before Sophie could even scream stop, was already kneeling at his side. Dex reached for his chest to stop the bleeding, only to see that one of his hands had already been stained with blood without having even touched him yet. It dripped down his palm, originating from one of his rings.

No.

He hadn't known his ring could do such a thing, but he knew what it meant.

Fitz got sent flying because of his own gadget. And he wasn't stupid to not realize why his ring that monitored the heart would suddenly start streaming blood staining his hands. He hated that he couldn't tell which of the blood came from Fitz, and which came from the monitor of his heart as it all mixed together. He just knew he had to fix this. He had to, because he couldn't let Fitz die like this. The blood was thickening from the venom, and it didn't look good.

Dex took his chance and leapt out of Exile with Fitz, where an elf with a sparkly mask was waiting.

"You're back quicker than I thought, where—oh." She froze when she saw Fitz in his arms, and they both carried him to the medical room. "Are the others still there?"

He nodded. "He needs a physician, can you get them?"

The other elf was hunting through cabinets, pulling out several vials and bottles and salves. "Physic, resident physician. I'll take care of him from here. It'll be really messy."

He opened his mouth to protect that nothing that he could see could be messier, she repeated that he should go, and she'd give updates.

He reluctantly agreed, and went to wash his hands dry of the blood. But the ring was still bleeding, and when he picked up the heart, it wasn't in great condition either. The gold lines were black with venom, and it had left a bloody mess on the nightstand. He grabbed a basic first aid kit and a bunch of towels and sat on the floor by the fireplace, carefully tending to the wounds on the heart. He hoped that bandaging the heart would help slow down the bleeding in Fitz's body. If nothing else, he could do this much.

Now that he looked back at the heart, wasn't it obvious that it belonged to Fitz? Teal like his eyes--something which had long bothered him, but he'd grown used to, gold like his image he always portrayed.

Fitz's heart, huh. That's whose heart he held.

When the others arrived back, they all stared at the bloody heart in his hands, but they said nothing. He didn't say anything either, taking comfort in every beat, because every heartbeat was proof that Fitz was still living.

Mr. Forkle told them that Fitz had stabilized, and they all rushed to his room. And oh. He looked even worse than Dex had thought. Black spiderwebs painted his chest. It looked even worse than it had on his heart earlier. Maybe his heart would've reflected it too, if it weren't currently bandaged.

"Oh, you have his heart?" Physic asked, turning to Dex. "That'll make his recovery from near death go smoother. You should've told me earlier."

"I only just found out," he mumbled, reluctantly handing her Fitz's heart.

"Good thinking for bandaging it. I had thought that the bleeding had gone down easier than expected."

She went back to treating Fitz, and it was messy and the vomit was disgusting, but he couldn't bring himself to leave. He had to stay. Once Physic was no longer needed in the room, he decided that he and Fitz should probably talk.

Fitz looked at him, and Dex didn't know if he wanted to meet his gaze or look away. He settled for looking at his neck.

"How long did you know?" he asked after a few seconds.

"Know what?"

"Don't play dumb." He picked Fitz's heart off the table from when Physic left it there. "This."

"A while... your kidnapping."

Dex tensed. Since then? He knew since then? Though, with the burns, maybe it wasn't hard to figure out.

"And you never told me?"

"Would you have wanted to hear it?"

He let out a breath. It wouldn't. He would've hated it. He would've hated the irony that the elf he'd hated most held his heart.

His silence must have been enough of an answer, as Fitz didn't say anything else.

"I'm sorry," Dex said, trying to keep his voice from cracking. The heart in his hand both comforted him and pissed him off at the same time. "I almost got you killed."

"You were trying to get us out of there," Fitz said, smiling weakly at him, "and we made it out. You don't have to blame yourself for this, you wouldn't predict Councilor Zarina's electricity."

"Not just that. I'm sorry for hating you so much. I'll try to hate you less."

Fitz blinked. "Why do you hate me?"

He almost wanted to roll his eyes, it felt like such a stupid question. But it wasn't like he had a good reason to hate Fitz at this point either.

"You're everything I'm not. I hated it."

Those few words couldn't represent the waves of emotions that had flooded him for years, but he didn't know how to say it.

"I..." He said, knowing he was going to sound stupid for saying it, "I wanted you to notice me."

The heart in his hands skipped a beat.

"Do you-- do you want to try being friends?"

Friends. With Fitz Vacker. If the Dex from a few years ago heard that, he would've laughed.

"I'll try," he mumbled. "I don't promise anything more. If nothing else, your heart is in my hands."

Fitz's weak smile turned bright, blinding him. Dex turned away, not knowing how to react to that. He wasn't sure how to react to the twitch of Fitz's arms either, as if he wanted to ask for a hug.

"Rest well, Wonderboy," he whispered, as he rushed out of the room.

Thump. Thump-thump.

Fitz's heart beat steadily in his hands, and Dex thought that his reluctant words would probably end up a reality.

•~•~•~•~•~•

Kotlc taglist: @my-swan-song, @stellarune, @impostertamsong, @subrosasteath

Want to be added/removed from the kotlc taglist? Just let me know!

#the way i wanted more fedex interactions only to realize they like never talked books 1-4 and that so much happened in 2-3 that they couldnt #can you believe i reread books 1-4 ish i havent touched those books in like 5 years #dex dizznee #fitz vacker #fedex #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc fanfic #ravi writes a thing #DO feel free to ask me about other heart pairs or dynamics in general. while centered on fedex i have a decent idea of who some hearts #belong to with other characters

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rxttenfish · 5 months

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PLEASE tell us more about virina mishra im such a sucker for nextgens

OOPS FUCK I GOT DISTRACTED AGAIN AND FORGOR TO ANSWER THIS

virina!!! my beloved virina!!!! littlest froggy!!!

aaravi and miranda very much both wanted to actually, you know, have a family. its one of those things where you come from someplace so shitty and so terrible, that you just cannot imagine someone else going through that same thing, and you cannot bear the thought of making someone else go through the same thing. to be fair, they are both TERRIFIED of just repeating the past and ending up in the exact same loop that their parents did, terrified of just heaving back on the same generational trauma and wreck of a childhood, but there comes a point in being afraid of something where you just need to get rid of this fear. its too constant, its too forever, its too eternal. sitting through it and avoiding it isn't making it go away, and they already fucked up avoiding it by finding each other and loving each other, so dancing around the issue isn't helping. instead, what they mutually land on is just... a want to prove that fear wrong. a want to prove that fear wrong, to prove that they aren't doomed to be just a weapon and just a source of death in all its forms, that they can hold something in their hands and make it grow. best way to avoid repeating the past is to take responsibility by the leash, after all. they want to go back in time, to give themselves the childhood that they always missed, and the best way they figured to do that is to give that to someone else.

this is something that very much existed since their relationship started to get serious with each other, and something that's been in the background the entire time since, so its not like its a mystery or anything. if anything, they've been using this want as a motivation, as a need to keep going even at the worst of times. they will have this happy future. they will make it through this together. they will make it work. no more ifs, no more buts, no more doubt. stop living in the doubt and start acting as though their happy end is a foregone conclusion and something that they are going to have no matter what, give no room for fear or guilt or shame or depression or self hatred to sneak in. they will be happy. they will make someone else happy. they will be someplace safe, not just for themselves, but for their loved ones too. they will be good. they will be.

even after everything blows over (mainly from miranda's family, she is still crown princess and stepping away from that was never going to be an option they gave her), it still takes a few years for them to broach the topic of having a kid for-real. just to make sure everything's settled. just to make sure everything's safe.

they have virina later in life than some of their other friends or just in general, but they were planned and wanted for so long that the wait is worth it. the name, as i've mentioned, comes from aaravi. she knows her mom was a... complicated woman, she knows her own raising wasn't perfect and that there were things that she still cant fully forgive her mother for, but she had a hard life too. she too deserved better. despite it all, aaravi still loves her mom, despite despite despite. and so she does the best thing that she can to honor her mom, to honor her memory, to give her the life that she never had the same as aaravi herself, and gives it to virina. the mishra last name was a no-brainer already, miranda already look aaravi's last name and preferred being a mishra over a vanderbilt anyday.

years later, virina also earns the nickname of "froggy" - primarily because of their own love for the animal, constantly finding them and bringing them in from outside. likewise, miranda and aaravi decide to raise them genderless, and to let them decide for themselves how they want to be referred to when they're older.

virina doesn't really take much after either of their moms, though. mostly they're quiet, shy, keep to themselves. where both of their moms are brash and dominant, very confident in themselves and willing to bowl over quieter personalities, virina seldom speaks, and when they do, its soft-spoken. they get easily spooked and cry easily, especially when it comes to other people. they cling to their moms legs, hide behind them when other people come around, prefer the company of animals over other people, tend not to like new things or new people and greatly prefer sticking to their simple, easy routine. they just can't figure out other people, seemingly, not understanding them or how to make friends or even what's appropriate or not to say in a conversation.

this isn't to say they aren't deeply intelligent and curious. they quickly learn to love venturing outside with their moms, playing in the garden or chasing bugs and frogs. they come in with sticks and rocks, make mud potions, try to build things out of sticks and befriend birds. they prefer books over people, ending up much more of a bookworm than either of their moms ever were, and ends up a very big nerd as they get older. theyre close and affectionate with the friends they do make, but this is a small handful of their very most trusted, and they never get much better at figuring out social norms.

in time, they lean a little bit more towards the femme side of things, growing their hair out long and liking long, swishy skirts that they can spin and sway over and over, that doesnt cling too tight to their legs. they end up needing glasses, and end up picking a pair thats large and circular, making their eyes seem all the more owlish. they settle on they/she, but never have particularly strong opinions about gender regardless. they can be blunt and quick to frustration, especially if they feel people arent understanding them, and are forever going to be deeply embarrassed over how their moms dote on them. i very much see them getting intensely interested and starting to study either linguistics, literature, history, geology, or any biology that takes them closer to the marshes and wetlands that they love.

they never think very much about how one of their moms used to be a princess, heir to a kingdom. beyond an instance as a kid that ended with them dropping a training sword repeatedly and crying, they never get very interested in following the slayer line of work. they fuss over small stakes, have their moms grate on them sometimes in both of their old ways, and they live a normal life.

#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#miravi.txt #monster prom #asks #Anonymous #anon #you might notice this as a theme with my fankids #in that i very much LOVE making them be the opposite of their parents #or otherwise be a personality that would have - if it were one of their peers - have annoyed their parents #because thats just the nature of kids! you have no promise that theyll be just like you!#theyre just their own little people! and you cant control that!#and hopefully. you come to accept that and love them regardless.#because theyre still just little people. they have no control over this. they need you to take care of them.#and thats okay actually.#...... also yeah it annoys me to no end when people make fankids and just. fuse the parents.#instead of having them be their own character with their own feelings and personality....#like! nah thats a whole ass other person! they came from these other two people but that doesnt mean shit!#also tbf i think miri and ravi would be THRILLED that virina would get annoyed by them sometimes #specifically in the sense of FUCK YES LOOK AT HOW FAR THEY'VE COME #they have reached the point where the habits that they developed out of necessity and a need to survive #are now just annoyances and no longer appropriate for the world they created together #THEY MADE IT. LOOK AT HOW GOOD THEY'VE DONE!!!#fully the type of moms to kiss all over virina's head and hug them to death while they squirm and whine that #MOOOOMS. YOU EMBARRASSING THEM.#what bliss to be embarrassing!!!

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