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midnightstar-90 · 2 years

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Hidden~ Eddie Diaz x Nash! Reader

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A/N: I'm back with another part to my hidden series.

Family Reunion

Y/N's POV

~Dream/Flashback to 2014~

"Around 12 am this morning, a deadly fire broke out. The fire has killed a total of 148 people so far. First responders are still looking for any others, dead or alive. Investigators say that the fire was started by an unsupervised gas fire heater. More details on the fire are to come soon. Back to you, Tracie." The CNN news person spoke through the TV.

I sat curled up on the couch as we watched the morning news. I sat up when I heard the news person talk about the apartment fire. The apartment they showed on the television looked a lot like my dad's apartment building. It could be his, but I haven't spoken to my dad in years. He has a new family, now, and I guess I never really fit into the picture.

Before I graduated, my mom tried to get us to talk, but it just wasn't meant to be. We actually never spoke during my last two years of high school. We barely even spoke before that, anyways.

I didn't really need my dad. Did I sometimes miss hanging out with him? Yes. Did I enjoy 'take your daughter to work' day? Of course, but I did just fine without him. I graduated high school with a 4.0 GPA, I got into the Navy, I got much praise during my Navy years, I met the love of my life, and now I'm waiting to meet my little bundle of joy. I did all that in my 21 years of living, and I did it all without my father.

Even though I didn't need my father, I still cared. So, when I heard about the fire on the news I felt sad. If that was my dad's apartment, I hoped to god (or whoever is out there) that my father was safe, and he nor his family was on the 'dead' list.

I couldn't get the thought of my father injured or dead out of my head. So I did the only thing that would help me get the thought off my mind. Since I was pregnant, I couldn't workout as hard as I normally do. I chose to go on a walk.

I put on my workout clothing. I was only 3 months pregnant, so my bump hasn't started showing yet. I looked at myself in the mirror as I rubbed my exposed stomach. Hopefully, my father is safe. Maybe one day he could meet his grandson.

I left the bathroom to find my headphones and phone. I put on 'Love Runs Out' by One Republic, and head out. The scenery was beautiful. I ran past my neighbors who were either playing with their kids in their yard, walking their dog, or planting in their gardens. They were just normal families, doing normal family things. I want that.

I continued to jog till my playlist ended. I got to a beautiful park, and sat down at the fountain in the middle. I felt a buzz from my phone, so I took it out to check it.

Unknown: Y/N, I'm sorry that I have to tell you like this (or even at all). I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving. I'm sorry for how I treated you. I will always love you no matter who I'm with or where I'm at. You deserve a lot more than me. Your mother told me about all the great things you've done, and I wish you could have told me yourself. You are a beautiful, smart, and strong woman. I wish I didn't have to say this, but I did something bad. I did something that is gonna haunt me for the rest of my life. I need a fresh start, so I'm going to the LAFD. I guess if you're ever in LA, you know where to find me.

I could only guess that the text was from my father. He's really leaving me now. At least I know where he'll be at, and that he's safe. I hope he finds that fresh start.

I put my phone back in my pocket before starting my jog back home. When I got home, I took a very needed hot and relaxing shower. I then got out, and put on some pajamas. I laid on my bed, and tried to face time Levi. I missed him so much, and I really needed someone to talk to.

When he didn't answer, that's when the hormones kicked in. I laid on my left side while cuddling my pillow, and I let all the tears I had leave my eyes.

~End of Dream/ Flashback~

I started to gain conscious as I felt someone shake my arm. I started to blink my eyes open, but the beaming sun in my face. I grunted, and rolled over in the sand. The hand continued to shake my arm.

My eyes fluttered open, and a figure started to form in my vision. "Y/N... Y/N, wake up," the familiar voice spoke. My vision came back to see Eddie standing over me. His hair was messy with sand all over him. He looked so cute like that.

I smiled at the firefighter, "Hello, my night and shining armor. Are we here to ride off into the sunrise."

"No, I really need to go, but I couldn't leave you here on your own," Eddie sounded rushed and upset. He stood up, and started walking away.

My face scrunched up in confusion. I watched him from my seating position on the sandy floor. He looked nervous. He kept checking his phone. And every time he checked it, his face got a little more nervous.

I slowly stand up, and I follow him. I was interested why he was so quick to leave. "Babe, I love you, and I want to help. The only way I can do that is if you tell me what you need," I say, grabbing my boyfriends arm.

"I just have so much to do today, and waking up on the beach after comforting you wasn't really on my to-do list," Eddie said in an angry tone. I look at Eddie, surprised by his reaction, and I step back in sadness. Eddie instantly regretted the words that came out of his mouth.

"Baby, I'm sor-" he tried to speak.

I looked at him with sadness, shock, and a touch of anger, "I didn't ask you to comfort me! I don't know what you were planning to do today, but I know that I obviously wasn't a part of it. I appreciate last night, but I gotta go get my son."

I tried to storm off, but I realized where my son was. I stomped back over to Eddie, "I don't know where Buck lives. Would you also like me to pick up Chris?"

Eddie looked at me with sadness in his eyes. "Yes, and I'll send you the address. I'm sorry, Y/N. I am just really stressed. I didn't mean to take it out on you," He says, begging me for forgiveness.

I give him a sad smile, and a peck on the lips before walking off. To be honest, it wasn't really anger I was feeling. It was more like a pout. I could never stay mad at Eddie. I walked off looking angry, but I was concerned on the inside.

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I start driving toward Buck's address. I couldn't help but think about the dream I had. I remember that day, now. That was the day when my dad last contacted me before joining the 118.

Was that dad's apartment that burnt down? Was that his gas fire heater? Is that the bad thing that he did? Is that why he's with Athena, and he doesn't talk about his other family?

My thoughts came to a halt as I pulled up to Buck's apartment complex. I got out the car and started walking to his door. It took a minute to find (as it was my first time visiting). I got to the door, I and I knocked respectfully but hard enough for Buck to hear.

A few seconds and the famous Evan Buckley was leaning against the door. He saw it was me, and a smirk crawled on his face. "Hello, beautiful. How can I help you?" Buck flirted.

In the time that I've been here, Buck and I have created a relationship where we can just be ourselves. Buck likes to innocently flirt with me, and I'm fine with it, as long as that's all that's going on. Eddie trust me enough to not care about Buck and I's relationship. (I love Buck, but I can't have my story breaking up one of the best friendships out there)

"Well, I'm here to pick up my son, and my boyfriend's son," I said, politely rejecting him. I smirk back at the 6' 2" blond man in front of me. Don't get me wrong. Buck is a nice looking man, but he just isn't my type. I like men who are willing to settle down and support that relationship all the way. And I can tell Buck wants that, but he's still trying to figure that out.

Buck moved out of the way, and let me into the apartment with a "Welcome" hand gesture and a smile. I walked in to see a beautiful looking apartment. It was clean and well decorated. His apartment gave of a modern city type vibe.

"Wow! I didn't think your apartment would look this nice!" I say, looking around in shock.

"Yeah, it took a while, but I finally moved out of my ex's house," Buck said following me to the kitchen.

I nod my head, impressed with the interior as I sat down in one of Buck's bar stools. I heard a child yell "MOMMY". When I turn in my seat, I see in energetic Zach running straight for me. I catch Zach as he runs into my lap. I pull him into a tight hug.

"Hi baby! I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Uncle Buck gave you candy," I say, giving Buck a playful side eye. He holds his hands up in defense, and says, "I regretted it the moment I gave it to him. I laugh and roll my eyes before looking back at Zach. "You and Chris go get your stuff, so we can go home. I need to talk to Uncle Buck," I said as we pull out of hug. I look into Zach's eyes. He gave me a big smile before nodding and running off.

"What did you need to talk about?" Buck asked. grabbing a beer from the fridge. He offers me one, but I shake my head.

"Eddie woke up today stressed out. It was to the level where he took it out on me. He won't talk to me about it. I've never seen him act like this," I tell Buck, leaving out the parts about falling asleep on a beach after having a crazy outburst.

He looked as if he was contemplating on whether he should tell me something. I look at Buck suspiciously. He looks at me with his sad puppy dog eyes, and says, "You can't tell Eddie I told you, but Shannon's funeral was right before Bobby called him. Now, his family is coming to town for his 'becoming an official firefighter' ceremony."

"Okay... Now I understand the rushing part, but why didn't he tell me what was going on?" I was conflicted. I understood that Shannon's funeral might have put him in the wrong mood, speaking that she was his wife and the mother of his son. In fact I knew about the funeral. He had told me a week ago, and before my outburst, I was the one holding him on a beach.

What I didn't understand was why he didn't feel comfortable telling me that his family was coming. Was he not ready for me to meet them? I mean, I've met his tía, but not his parents or sisters. I don't know maybe i'm thinking about this too much.

"I can see your brain trying to work out everything, and let me tell you it's not what you think. Eddie is just trying to protect you," Buck took a sip from his beer bottle.

"Yeah? From what?" I asked suspiciously. I know Buck and Eddie are best friends, and they tell each other everything. I also know Buck can sometimes be easy to manipulate. That's why I'm here, and not banging on Eddie's door for answers.

"Eddie's family isn't like Eddie. They are very judgmental, from what Eddie's told me. I don't think Eddie wants you too run away just yet. I mean, every time the man comes to work, all he talks about is you, Chris, and Zach. Eddie needs you, Y/N. He may not always say it, but he needs you. And he's scared that 2 months in a relationship won't be enough for his parents, and they'll run you away from him."

I thought about Buck's words, and lets just say it did help me understand more. I came here for answers, but I think I got more answers then I needed.

"Mommy, were ready!" Zach yelled out. He ran towards me with both his and Chris's backpack. I grabbed them from the boy, and put one on each shoulder. I then turn back to Buck and give him a smile.

"Thank you, Buck. You really helped. Now I see why the 118 keeps you around," we both chuckle at the joke. "I think it's time to get these kids home. But I really do appreciate you helping me clear my mind," I said, guiding the boys to the door. Buck followed us.

"No problem. And if you ever want to come over... you know... without anyone else, I'm down," Buck said in a low voice. I scoff, and say "in your dreams" while leaving the apartment. I hear Buck laugh before closing his door.

We get to my car, and as I'm snapping Zach into his seat belt, he asks, "Mommy? Why don't you want to have a play date with Uncle Buck? He lets us play video games, eat cookies, and go to sleep late."

I look at Zach in shock. I give him a nervous laugh, and I say, "Well, Uncle Buck and I are adults. Our play dates are different. And when you have those play dates, you have to like that person very much, or it won't be as fun."

"So you don't like Buck?" Christopher jumps in. I don't know what to say to them that would be age appropriate for them. Instead, I close Zach's door in a rush, and get into the drivers seat. The rest of the car ride, Christopher and Zach quietly speak in the back. I look through the rear view mirror to see the two laughing at whatever they were talking about. I smile, and look back at the road.

I hope one day we can all laugh together.

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We pull up to Eddie's house. The only vehicle in the driveway is Eddie's truck. I took it as a sign that only Eddie was here. I got out of the car, and helped Christopher out, before helping Zach get out of his car seat. I grab Chris's bag, and we all walk up to the door. I give a couple knocks to the door, and the next thing I see is Eddie opening the door, only wearing a towel.

"Hey," Eddie said, allowing us to come in. The Zach runs through the door, and Christopher tries his best to keep up on his crutches. I slowly walk in with a smirk. Eddie closes the door, and turns back to me.

"I'm sorry about earlier. You've helped me a lot, and when you need me I blow up. You don't deserve that," Eddie says with a sad smile.

I pull Eddie into a hug and say, "You don't need to apologize. We both have had our ups and downs this past month, and in response, we had our outburst. Now it's time to let it go."

"Yeah, your right."

"I'm always right. Now, where's my reward for dropping off your child?" I ask with a wide smirk. I look him up and down. Just him standing before me in a towel turned me on.

"Well, I can only pay you with a kiss right now," Eddie said, playing along. He pulled me into his arms by my waist. My hands rested on his chest, as one of his hands go up to my cheek. We slowly meet in the middle, and slowly but passionately kiss. It was a blissful moment before we heard 2 voices yell out "Ewww!" We pull away and look at the boys.

"Chris, Tia Pepa will be here soon with grandma and grandpa. Why don't you go get ready?" Eddie told his son. Chris nodded with a smile, and left towards his room.

"Zach, can you go with him?"

Zach skipped all the way to Christopher's room, leaving us alone. I looked up at Eddie, and he looked slightly embarrassed.

"I'm gonna go get dressed. You can make yourself comfortable if you'd like," He said before quickly walking to his room. I decided to take up Eddie's offer, and make myself comfortable. I sat on the couch and patiently waited. After about 5 minutes, a doorbell rang through the house.

"I'll get it," I yelled out.

I open the door to see a brown haired couple standing on the porch. They looked shocked to see me.

"Hi! I think we have the wrong house. We're looking for Eddie Diaz," The woman spoke. I looked them up and down, studying their appearances. I smile before saying, "Nope! you definitely have the right house. Hi, I'm Y/N. I'm Eddie's girlfriend," I reached my hand out for them to shake. They looked at me in awe. Eddie's father was first to shake my hand, then his mother.

I felt the door tug open. I looked to see who it was, and I saw Eddie, now in a light brown flannel shirt and black jeans. "Mom! Dad! You made it!" Eddie said, giving his parents a hug.

"Well, even though you could've did all of this in Texas, I am proud of you. And it's good to see you moving on from Shannon," Eddie's mother said pulling out of the hug. Eddie saw his parents looking past him, so he looked back and saw me. I perked up when I felt his arm go around my shoulders.

"Right... Y/N, these are my parents, Helena and Ramon. Mom, Dad, this is my girlfriend, Y/N," Eddie introduced us.

"Mommy! Mommy!" We all heard a scream from inside the house. We all turned to see the source of the noise to see Zach running towards us. "Mommy, I'm hungry," Zach said in his inside voice.

"And this is Zach. He's Y/N's son."

"Say hi, Zach."

"HI!" Zach yelled, waving his hand through the air. Eddie's parents waved back at the young boy with a long smile on their faces.

After introductions, we all walked into the house. Eddie caught his parents up on who was gonna be here, and when they were coming. I allowed Eddie sometime with his parents, and went to the kitchen to make everyone lunch. The boys ate freshly made chicken tenders and French fries. The adults had cheeseburgers instead of tenders. They all seemed to like it, and that made Y/N ecstatic.

When we all finished eating, the boys went to Christopher's room to play, Eddie and his father sat on the couch watching the game, and after winning an argument against Eddie, me and Eddie's mother cleaned up the kitchen.

"Eddie must really like you. He looks happier here than he ever did in Texas, and that only started when you showed up," Helena told told me, as she wiped off the wet dishes. We turn to each other and both give each other a small smile.

We lean against the counters opposite from each other. "I really hope that this thing we have will last, because I don't know want anyone else in my life to leave. I've been in 2 relationships in my life, and that was Zach's dad and Eddie. My father was barely in my life until I found him here in LA, and Zach's dad died in battle. Those boys running around the house, and Eddie are the only things keeping me sane right now. I don't want to leave, and I don't want Eddie to leave. So if I have to travel all over the world to keep him here, that's what I'll do. I want the four of us to one day be a family. I want the happy family that I never got," I said, ending my rant with a puff of air.

Little did we know, Eddie had heard everything I said. He came into the kitchen with a big smile on his face. He came up to me and grabbed me by my waist, and next thing I know, Eddie had me in a slow but passionate kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he pulled me closer to him. Our chest now pressed together. We were so caught up in the moment we didn't notice Helena walk off with a smile on her face.

We pulled out of the kiss with just enough room for our noses to be the only thing touching. We were still trying to catch our breath. I looked into the man's eyes and started into them like a kid at a candy store. I was definitely in love with this man.

"What was that for?" I asked with a giggle.

Eddie grabbed a hold of my hand and said, "You make me happy. This thing we have is something that a lot of people don't, and I don't want it to ever end. I want to be a family also. I mean, it's too early for , but we can think of it as practice for the real thing. "

I felt tears slip out of my eyes as I held a wide smile on my face. "Yeah, I would definitely like that. You make so happy, Eddie Diaz," I say, softly kissing Eddie's still swollen lips.

I honestly don't completely know what happened this morning, but I do know that that is long left in the past. I guess that happens when you truly love someone.

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boobz-fye · 3 years

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Comforting them after losing a game

Includes: Oikawa Tooru, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Kageyama Tobio, and Keiji Akaashi x G/N reader.

Warnings: the boys doubting themselves and cursing(I think I only said one bad word in kageyamas but whatever)

Rant: Ok, I feel like this post is actual shit. Like I say that about almost all of my posts- but this one is very bad. The only good one is Ushijimas I think, so I hope I do all of the characters a little justice tho. Also sorry that I haven't been posting much (for like two weeks) I have been very busy, and been dealing with writer's block. I will try and post something else some time next week. Think it's gonna be fluff for MHA tho. Anyways, HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS!!!!!

Oikawa Tooru~

It all happened too fast. He could have sworn that they were just in the lead, ahead of Shiratorizawa by two points. He was so close to beating them. And now what is he going to say to you, or the team? He promised all of you that they will win this only to not fulfill it. Slowly dragging his feet out of the gym, Oikawa starts to feel tears building up in his vision. ‘No you can't cry right now.’ Oikawa thinks as he starts to pick up a pace. Maybe this is all just a bad dream and he will wake up soon.. Yeah that sounds right. He can wake up and have a fresh start of the day, win against Shiratorizawa, then celebrate with his team mates, and to top it all off go over your house and cuddle the whole night. Oh how lovely that sounds, only if that wasn't another fantasy planted in his head.

Overwhelmed with emotions Oikawa finally comes out of the locker rooms, only to see you sitting on the floor. “What are you still doing here baby?” You look up to see Oikawa putting on a fake smile that makes your heart break. “Come here..” You say rising to a standing position, with your arms open and welcoming. Oikawa doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around you, and be consumed by your warmth. “You did amazing out there handsome.” Those few words made Oikawa feel butterflies in his stomach. The only thing that could make him feel better were your praises. But he still couldn't help the small ache in his chest, remembering that he promised everyone that they would win this game and make it to nationals. “If I did good then why didn't we win?” He says with a slight crack in his voice, making an ache of your own spread through your chest. “Maybe it was just luck. You were only off by one point, plus if it makes you feel better you'll be able to beat their ass in spring!” A breathy chuckle escaped from Oikawa's mouth, causing a grin to form on your face. “You're right baby, we will beat them in spring.”

Ushijima Wakatoshi~

Ushijima wasn't used to losing. The reality didn't hit him until he heard the opposing teams audience cheer. Looking over to the scoreboard when he hears the whistle being blown, only to see that his team has lost. A bitter taste settles on Ushijima’s tongue. But he is once again pulled out of his thoughts by a hand resting on his shoulder. He turns around to see his team standing behind him with a look of true defeat. “C’mon Ushijima, we have to line up” Tendou says with a tone a little different from his usual cheery one. Not knowing what to say Ushijima just grunts with a small nod.

Walking outside of the gym Ushijima starts to replay the game in his head to try and see where they went wrong, but soon was interrupted by some arms wrapping around him from behind. “Hi bubs.” you say nuzzling your head into his back. “Hello Y/N.” “Soooo…” you try to think of what to say that will make Ushijima feel better, but it's hard to do so when he can be very blunt at some points and not understand what you are trying to get at. “Yes?” Ushijima says tugging at the sleeve of your jacket to gain your attention back to him. “How are you feeling after the game?” There is a little moment of silence that comes over the two of you causing a slight panic cloud in your mind, because what if he took your question the wrong way- “I don’t know how to feel about losing, I'm upset because we put a lot of effort in that game just to lose. But they won fairly, so I guess that just shows that we weren't good enough.” Ushijima states bluntly. You're kind of taken back by his answer, but notice how his eyes show more emotion than his words. You could tell that he was more than just upset. “Don't say that Ushijima, you guys did amazing out there. You guys were only off by a couple points!” You say as you take Ushijima’s hand into your own. “But still we tried our best and it wasn't enough.” You felt his hands tremble a little in your touch, looking at him with a soft gaze you say “I'm sorry bub, you will get them next time though, I know you will because you are good enough.” Ushijima nods and mumbles a thank you, while gently squeezing your hand. It's times like this, when Ushijima shows you his vulnerable side, that you hold dear to your heart.

Kageyama Tobio~

Kageyama dreaded feeling the pain in his chest after losing a game. He would never get used to it, and doesn't really care enough too anyways. Maybe if he didn't send the ball to Hinata, knowing that the idiot will just close his eyes, then they could have won. But even then Oikawa’s tricky serves would still be a pain to work around. Not to mention how fast the whole team learns their opponents weaknesses. Kageyama had gotten so lost in his thoughts that he forgot he had to meet up with you at a cafe in 6 mins. Today seems to just get worse and worse by the second and he doesn't know if he will be able to keep himself together for much longer.

You hear the bell on the cafe door ring, causing you to turn around and see that all too familiar face. Kageyama walks over to you and takes his seat. Only when he finally looks up you notice that he is panting. “Did you run all the way here kags?” “Yeah, would have been late if I didn't.” Kageyama never liked being late to anything that has to do with you, it makes him feel guilty, and he doesn't want to add upsetting you to the list of shitty things that have happened today. “I'm ok with you being a little late baby, especially when you just got back from your game…” Kageyeama drops his gaze back down to the table remembering that was the first game you got to see him play in just for them to lose, how embarrassing- “Sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up.” you say rubbing the back of your neck. “It's ok….” “Look at the menu and pick what you want, it's on me!” Kageyama shoots his head up and stares at you with wide eyes “Idiot im not letting you pay.” He mumbles while a blush spreads across his face. “Aww c'mon babe I can pay, let me get you some comfort food!” “Comfort food?” “Yeah food always helps me with stress” Before Kageyama could think over his next words, his mouth and brain betrayed him. “I think cuddles would make me feel better.” Both of you are taken back by his words, Kageyama was always so stubborn, forcing you to pick up hints from his behavior and piece them together to know what he wants. But you don't mind the forwardness; it helps you get straight to the point. Kageyama on the other hand is freaking out, he doesn't know if he was being too blunt or not, and your silence is not helping. “Never mind… forget what I said” “Whattttt, that sucks cause I was going to say yes but since you insist.” “Shut up, we can head over to mine after eating, the meal that I will be paying for, and cuddle. Now pick what you want already I don't have all day.” “Sir yes sir!” You say with a salute. “Dont do that you look dumb” Kageyama says, while trying to supress a grin. “You're so meannnnn” You whine with a pout. Even though Kageyama is teasing you the only thing you seem to be able to focus on is the way he starts to let loose and laugh around you. And when you look into his eyes all you see is love, not a trace of sorrow.

Akaashi Keiji~

It's only been a few minutes since the tragic game has ended and akaashi is already past the limit of stress he can handle. From the fact that they actually lost a game, while also trying to encourage the team and tell them that they will do better next time, and also trying to help bokuto get out of emo mode akaashi was starting to get a headache and wanted to just go home to sulk and attempt to relax. So once when he gets out of the shower akaashi throws on some clothes and runs out the locker room to the front gate. Not expecting you to be there waiting for him.

As Akaashi approaches the front gate he sees you standing there alone. “Y/N, what are you doing here? It's getting late.” “I know, I just wanted to check up on you” Akaashi looks into your worried eyes, causing him to feel a little guilt. Is he the cause of the expression on your face? “Oh well then can I walk you home?” You nod in approval, letting him take your hand and lead the way. A comfortable silence takes over the two of you, but you still can't help but feel like something is still off about Akaashi today, and none of his fake smiles and replies will put this thought at ease. “Hey Akaashi?” “Yes?” you stay silent for a little trying to think of the right words to say. “You know you guys did amazing at the game today right?” Akaashi hums in response, as the hold on your hand becomes a little shaky. “Good, because it's the truth. Just don't beat yourself up about it, you're great at what you do. Even though you guys didn't win I know you are still deserving of it. The only reason your opponents had a chance, was because of the chance balls. Plus you and your team have way more chemistry with each other then they did, it's almost like all of you can read each other's minds… Sorry I was rambling again.” Akaashi turns around and stares at you this time with a real smile on his face. “It's ok love, I think it's cute when you run your mouth. Now why don't we head over to your house instead? I want you to help me get rid of my stress, ok?” “And how can I help you with that?” Akkashi brings your hand towards his lips and gives it a quick kiss. “Cuddles of course, and let me eat whatever food you got in your house.” Akaashi says with a wink. On your way home you can't help but admire your caring boyfriend, always making time for you even when he's too emotionally and physically tired.

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meenah-chan · 3 years

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Solace

A Belphegor x GN! MC fanfic

3.14k words

Genre: Angst

Trigger warning: mention of death. Read at your own discretion.

Requested by: @belphiesimpalways thank you for patiently waiting for this. Supposedly, this is for your birthday but still, belated Happy Birthday to you!! This became a little bit too long, and I actually changed the whole thing twice 😅😅 I changed the title too to prevent confusion, hope you don't mind.

He lost it the day he lost his beloved sister. A place to call his home. Yet he met them. The one who brings light to his dark days. But what shall he do, when this solace was never been his?

“How I wished I didn’t met you at all.”

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

He can hear the harrowing sound of the clock, ringing inside the closed space. As if it were imitating his increasing pulse. Belphegor couldn’t open his eyes. He won’t though, even if he can. He fears he’ll see it again. The agonizing sight of that cursed attic, where he is trapped, cold and lonely. Each click, each clack drives him on a brink of madness.

Somebody please make it stop..! Curled up in his bed, writhing in anguish, Belphegor tried to block the sound with his trembling hands.

Let me out… I hate this place...

“It is for your own good.” Lucifer’s voice reverberates throughout the whole room. His guide light and the hero of his stories… once upon a time, that is.

For my own good? This place was a nightmare! He was imprisoned! He was trapped inside his head, with nothing but bleak thoughts!

He felt cold, with no one to hold onto. With no Beelzebub or Lilith, ready to embrace him when he’s afraid…

Ahhh…

Right…

Even if he managed to escape that place, there’ll be no more Lilith to hold him. To comfort him. To make him laugh of joy and happiness. No more… Lilith is no more…

“...Belphegor?” he snapped his eyes open and suck in a deep breath, as if the voice pulled him out of the deepest pit of the abyss. His heart was beating fast, bathed in his own sweat.

It was just another dream. He was not trapped in the attic any more. He was freed, by the person with him right now, sitting beside his bed, a few weeks ago. “Are you alright? You’re sweating buckets and squirming in your sleep.”

“I’m fine. It was just pretty hot in here.”

They stared at him for a moment before replying. “...If you say so… Wait, let me get you some water and a change of clothes.” unconsciously he raised his hand, fingers tugging on the hen of their shirt which stopped them from their tracks.

“Don’t need one… Just stay here and be my pillow.” Still, feeling a bit anxious of being alone, he didn't let go.

“That won’t do. You’re so drenched. If you don't change clothes and rehydrate, you might get sick. I'll be back in a jiffy.” Yet as they swiftly pried his hand off their clothes, he couldn't do anything but to watch them stride out of the room.

He sighed, recollecting the series of events from the time he met them. “...What a weird person...” He muttered under his breath.

A few weeks ago… Just a few weeks ago, they succeeded in freeing him... Just a few weeks ago, they died by his hands... Yet, they kept on approaching him like nothing had happened.

But oddly enough, he also couldn't get them off his mind; to want them by his side. The only time he could find his peace of mind is when he's with them.

I guess I'm weird too...

Silently, he observed them. The way they speak and walk. The way they would scold him when he chose to nap over catching up his missed lessons. The way they tap and hum unconsciously, while studying with him to encourage him to do so. Those awkward laughs they made as they tried to mend the rift between him and his brothers. The sighs left their lips as his brothers fought over who would have them. The slow and silent steps they make to slip away. The way they wink and place a finger over their lips and pull him with them.

Especially the way their eyes disappear when they're smiling. He can never describe how soothing it was, that smile.

...until he suddenly felt it wasn't.

The way they make the very same smile to Lucifer, Belphegor couldn't help but feel a little bit too irritated. Yes, it was Lucifer. He’s naturally annoyed by him, after what he's done. But this is a little bit different from his usual displeasure.

The youngest just wanted to pry the human off him and drag them away. He knew he couldn't suppress the burning sensation rising from the pit of his stomach. He also knew he'll regret what he wanted to do. He'd look possessive. Delusional. He may even hurt them in the process. So, he chose to escape the scene instead, into the attic which was once his prison.

“Belphegor! I got... and you're asleep.” the demon dares not open his eyes as he hears them make their way to him. “You didn't even remove your uniform...or your shoes. I'm really amazed how you can fall asleep in a matter of seconds.” They carefully remove the shoes and socks from his soles.

Oh no... That's not a good thing. For every touch of their skin sends tingles throughout his entire body. Each cell screaming in a way he never felt before. The bed shook as they crawled in, reaching for the buttons of his vest. He was at his wit's end, completely conscious of the human's presence.

Before they could ever reach for the last row of buttons, his hand stopped them before he lose it.

“What do you think you're doing?”

“Y-You're awake?!” Before they could ever pull back, he tugged them in his chest, flustering the human even more.

“H-Hey, let go. Your uniform will get wrinkled.” They tried squirming out to no avail. The demon is just too strong to make him budge.

“Don't want to.” To hide his warm and probably beet red face, he clasped their nape and keep their face over his shoulder.

“I still haven't changed out of mine.”

“Hmm, goodnight...”

“Hey...” after a few more stirring in vain, they just sighed and let the youngest have it his way.

This is bad. Thought Belphegor. The annoyance he felt a while ago dissipates as fast as it builds up inside of him. Still, his heartbeats and head were in utter chaos, the time he held them so close. He said he’s returning to slumber, yet his heart showed no signs of ever slowing down. He bet they could hear it, but he have no more energy to even mind it. After all, amidst the chaos in him, could also feel he won’t be getting any nightmares right now.

“Say Belphegor. Do you have a fever? You’re hot and your heart’s beating a bit too fast.”

“Just tired from the extra work a while ago. I just need some rest.”

“If you say so...”

He could no longer deny this feeling inside him.

He… fell in love with a human. He found it, the peace to his raging storm. The salve to his wounds. But they can never be his solace.

He lost it the day he lost his beloved sister. He lost his home. His freedom. He doesn’t have anything but his disgusting self, who could only obsess over keenly observing each and every move they make. Like a stalker. Like a creep. Like a predator eyeing its prey.

But they were never been his. And the day they learnt of his habit is the day they will be disgusted by him.

“Lucifer!” and the fact that they were attached to his eldest brother— the one who robbed him of his freedom once— didn’t help.

They would link arms around his. Heck, even snuggled to it as they do so, with that widest smile upon their face. The small giggles they give off as the abomination in the form of his brother praised them while petting them. Oh, how he wanted to just cut off that hand straying onto them! How dare he touch–

…them that might have already belonged to him, long before he could enter the picture…?

No. There's just no way that heartless brother of his to fall for a mere human. That brother who bowed down to a demon the day his sister died. And the human who taught him how to love again, to fall for Lucifer. That’s just… impossible… It’s just too cruel…

But I love them too! I can love them more than that fiend who chose a demon over his family!

“No, you’re much crueler…” He could hear the whispers at the back of his mind. “Have you forgotten what you did? You killed them. Do you think you have any rights to even lay a finger on them? You spiteful, wretched, monster…”

…Right… He has no rights to have them… He lost it before he could realize the weight of his actions… It was the painful truth. A punishment for a sinner like him. He could regret it until his last breath but he could never be forgiven.

He doesn't deserve to have a place in their heart. Never. Never…

The door to the twins’ room creaked open and he knew exactly whose footsteps it was without the need to look. “Belphegor, Lucifer gave me some sushi. You like this, right? Let’s eat it while it’s fresh.”

Lucifer again, huh...

“It’s yours. Eat it yourself.” There’s no more point in fighting a lost battle.

Let it grow, “Ehh? But you like—”

“Let’s stop this.” … or let it go.

“…Huh? Stop what?”

He also fears what he might do in the future due to this rotten affection of his. “Just as I thought, I couldn’t stand humans. You’re so naïve and trusting. I’m already fed up with dealing with your antics.”

“Wait, I don’t understand…” They asked, confusion and unease were all over their face.

“You don’t? Then let me explain in a way you’ll understand in that small, gullible brain of yours.” He took a deep breath. He needs to keep his cool or he will definitely break in front of them, “Everything is all an act. You thought I like being with you? Think again, fool. Having a human around me fills me with nothing but wrath and anger! Who do you cause my nightmares!? Your race disgusts me to death! Just looking at you makes me want to puke!”

“B-Belphegor… please tell me you’re kidding.”

“Kidding? Do I look like I’m joking?” he scoffed, holding back the pain clawing in his chest. “Be thankful for my brothers. If not because of them, you won’t be alive the second time, nor your ignorant race are.

“I won’t touch a hide of you or any human. So please, stop bothering me anymore.” being unable to stifle the emotions on the verge of bursting, he turned his back on the devastated human.

This is for the best. He’s back in his cage. Staring at the lacework of the long-lived spiders on the ceiling. He already witnessed its threads wear and replace countless of times. That might not even be the same spider he saw on his first night there. He could care less. After all, the only time he was truly curious of a being is when he met them.

How he wished the thread of his feelings were as flimsy as the spider’s. That way it’ll fall off over time. It can simply be cut off when it comes on his way.

“How I wished I didn’t meet you at all.” He knows it well. He is a big liar. In some way or another, just like the firstborn. But they deserve him more than his wretched self.

Lucifer, he was the morning star. The fact that both heaven and hell were captivated by his beauty and excellence. But Belphegor… he was nothing but a bleak abyss. He once dreamt of his brother’s greatness. Yet he couldn't be anything. He, miserable and empty, who only had nothing but guilt, regrets and a broken heart— as he watched them weep.

It’s been weeks since then. They never approached him like he said. Neither in the dining table nor classroom do they discern his presence. It was painful, but he can take it. The only unbearable one he felt is catching them cry— in Lucifer’s arms.

How long are they going to cry? Is it still because of him? No… This is for the best...

This is his atonement. His fate. He still couldn’t have anything, yet he already lost everything. His—

Lucifer… He is staring at him straight in the eye. I should leave.

But Belphegor couldn’t leave. Not after the eldest gave him that sly smirk. What does that mea…

Lucifer didn’t give him time to think. “Wha, Lucifer…?” Sound of confusion left their mouth as Lucifer grabbed their chin firmly between his index and thumb, with the menacing look on his face. “What are you—!”

And the gap between their faces disappeared. “Hmph!” The sight of the futile struggle of his beloved in the hands of the man he entrusted them to… made the youngest snap.

“LUCIFER!!!” His horns and tail materializing, he lunged towards him. His clenched fist flying in the air, aiming for his jaw. Yet, as if expecting it, Lucifer evade him, loosening his grip on the stunned human in the process. Belphegor saw this as a chance to pry them away from his brother’s hands, before jumping a few meters away from him.

“When are you going to learn to clean after your own mess, Belphegor?” As if the devious smirk were never been present on his face, Lucifer looked at them with his usual expression.

“What the hell?! You’re the one who assaulted them!!” He snarled like a wild animal, holding his treasure protectively from the threat.

“I didn’t do anything. Ask them yourself.”

“Ask? Do you think I’m blind?!” His stance became stiffer, fangs sheathed and glaring sharply at his brother, who is unfazed.

A light tug on his collar made his eyes soften, and caused him to realize his tight grip on them in which he loosen. “Are you hurt?”

“N-No… Lucifer’s saying the truth… He didn’t kiss me. I was just a bit confused he pressed his thumb over my lips.”

“.... What? Okay, but still—!”

“Do you think I’m a fool, Belphegor?” Lucifer cut him off, “I know what you’re planning. I'm already your brother for thousands of years.”

“...”

“Do you now understand the consequence of your foolish action? You left someone important to you in the care of others. But you didn’t think that sort of thing might actually happen?”

“But it’s you who they love!”

Lucifer’s frown deepens, “Even if it were some lesser demon they’re in love with, I bet you'll leave them in their care.”

“I...” He… Lucifer’s right… No one's more dangerous for them than himself.

Belphegor's horns and tail disappeared as he calms down, processing what his brother is saying.

“Everyone’s dangerous in Devildom, you fool. If you really are sorry for what you did, protect them instead.”

“Protect? But… But I...” Ignoring him, the eldest glanced at the person between the youngest’s arms.

“Do you already get what I’m saying Y/N?” They nod. “Not only are you both foolish and stubborn, but also blind. Now fix this yourselves. I’m done with your drama.” pinching the bridge of his nose, Lucifer left them in that awkward position without another word.

“...I’m really sorry. I was afraid to hurt you more than I already did.” After a moment of silence, Belphegor decided to break it first.

“You already did, you idiot.” Wiping the stray tears on their puffy eyes, Belphegor gave them a sad smile. “I guess I did.”

“But I still don’t think this is alright. Shouldn’t you be a bit more wary around me? I mean you already… died in my hands once.”

“You brat. Do you think I’d cry like that if I we’re okay with not being with you? I've never held a grudge against you in the first place.” They pout.

“Why? How can you forgive me that easily?” The demon frowns at them.

“Well, wouldn't life be more wonderful if we know how to forgive and forget?”

Frustrations were evident in his eyes, Belphegor's frown deepens. “That's not right… I killed you mercile—”

“Then shouldn't I be asking you? Why can't you forgive yourself?” He didn’t answer. Mistakes have already piled up as is.

Forgive himself? Why? Does he hate himself?

...Yes... I probably do... He loathed himself. terribly so... But they, who tasted the his abhorrence. He couldn't understand how they didn't.

“You want you to find happiness.” They cupped his disgruntled face in their palms, foreheads touching as they gave him comfort.

“I can’t.” with glassy eyes, he held a hand on his cheeks, “Not when you are my happiness. Not when you liked my brother.”

“You really are blind. And here I thought I was just assuming things.” their giggles were like music to his ears. Their orbs were like the placid sky set upon him. “You really are blind. And here I thought I was just assuming things.”

“I love you, idiot.” And their words, with no hint of doubt or hesitation, hit him like a surge. It made his feelings overflow, coursing throughout his entire body, and finally spilling on every corner of his eyes. It made him unable to speak. “I’m not even hoping for you to feel the same. I just wished to stay by your side… and for you to cherish yourself like how I’ve been to you.”

Belphegor felt so happy beyond words. Such indescribable feelings swirling inside him, one that he can’t put into words. With so much running inside his head, the only line he could form is… “Thank you.”

Weeping, but from so much joy this time, they huddled in each other's grasp, not caring of their setting, until their hearts finally felt whole again.

And after such a blissful moment, “...that’s it? No I love you too?” They spoke.

“What are you saying? I already said I love you.”

“No you didn’t. Saying I’m your happiness and confessing are separate things.” they frown at him, expecting.

“It’s the same.” Yet knowing how stubborn the demon is, the human raised their white flag, although disappointed.

“Okay, alright…” They sighed, wiping his eyes with a tear-stained handkerchief. “Why am I the one comforting you anyways? I’m the one crying because of you.”

Belphegor smiled mischievously, like he didn’t cry a while ago. “Because I’m the youngest.”

“Ugh, why did I fall for a spoiled brat?” Another sigh left them as they pulled him up, “Let's go, I’m sleepy.”

Yet as soon as he rose on his feet, he placed his arms on the back of their knees and shoulder blades to carry them, gaining a small yelp from them.

“Hey...” no protest managed to leave their lips as he sealed it with a chaste kiss. Probably not their first but it was the sweetest one. It only last a few seconds, but Belphegor knew fully well. This memory will last forever.

“I love you more, my solace.”

#I seriously don't know what I did here XD #hope you liked it tho #jumping to the next request tomorrow~~ ヾ(≧▽≦*)o #obey me fanfic #obey me belphegor #obey me belphegor x reader #obey me belphegor x mc #obey me boys #obey me #obey me masters #obey me swd #obey me shall we date #meenah-chan's babey fics~~#meenah-chan~~

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boop-le-snoot · 3 years

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PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 13

first time readers click here 💖

TWs/Summary: In this house, we ship Reader/Tony's Rolls-Royce. Reader and Tony being dorks on a date. That's it that's the chapter. Lots of sass and Tony being Tony.

A question for my readers: Are you still invested? How's the slow burn? Is everything realistic? 👉🏻👈🏻🥺

As usual, my beta is @miscmarvelwritings . I love her.

"Nice digs, Cupcake."

"Nice ride, Tin Man."

The sass fell from my lips, warm and familiar, paving the way for our upcoming debut like the old, soft living room rug. Any awkwardness I had expected there to be left the moment I saw Tony pull up to my front gate in his Royce: the man was just that extra. The size of my estate, the five-figure outfit of mine - it paled in comparison to his own clout.

In a world where my choices were usually distributed between stuck-up rich boys or insecure middle-class men, Tony was a fresh drink of water with his absolute indifference towards my and his own net worth.

I wasn't afraid to admire said ride, either. Being a huge petrolhead was what got me interested in engineering, physics and computer sciences in the first place. The desire for speed grew into thirst for knowledge: how to get more horsepower, how to tune, how to mod. No mechanic took an eighteen year old rich-girl seriously even when I had all the lingo right, I had to be a step ahead, at all times, if I wanted my ride to be the best. And I never settled for less than that.

"No driver?" I inquired for the reason behind the unusual behaviour. After all, a Rolls' wasn't the kind of car you drive personally. All the amenities it had, it had in the back.

"Gave Happy a day off," Tony remarked absently. I noticed the small quirk of his eyebrow, however. He was intrigued.

I decided to give it a shot. "So what, this thing packs, what, about five-fifty horses?" I mused, watching Tony nearly swerve into the opposite lane. "At two and a half tons, it's still gotta be pretty quick with that V12-turbo. How fast it go?" The satisfaction was immeasurable, as pleasant to my soul as sitting in a heated leather chair with the smell of a new car, engine quietly rumbling in front of me. And by quietly I mean, it was focus-or-you'll-miss-it kind of quiet.

"Well aren't you full of surprises, baby girl," Tony grinned; a happy, excited grin even. It made his face lose ten years of age just like that. "Zero to sixty in five and a half seconds," He said after a moment.

"Not bad," I said, sounding impressed. I already knew that but I wasn't planning on robbing Tony out of well deserved praise for his choice in vehicles.

"Got a ride of your own?" He asked with a smile, like he didn't know it already. No background check would have skipped my three speeding tickets, but I concur. This game was fun.

"I do, actually. It's a 2008 Range Rover. Supercharged," I added in the end, just to emphasise.

"A big car for such a little girl," Tony whistled playfully.

"I'm compensating," I deadpanned. "I'm a little slow on the uptake, y'know, so my Rangie with five hundred horses makes up for it. Gotta keep it balanced."

Tony chewed on his lip. "Five hundred? Haven't heard about that, it comes with three-ninety-five in stock," His eyebrow wiggled. "Tuned it?" He cast me a contemplative glance.

"Yup," I exclaimed happily. As far as the date, I would have been utterly ecstatic to talk about cars all evening. Screw the boring "where do you see yourself in five years" questions, talk to me about your favourite engine swaps. Concept cars, give me those. Monster trucks? Yes, please. Vintage low-riders? Couldn't wait to get my grubby little hands on one. Gimmee!

Tony kept his silence and kept his press smile starting the moment we set foot on getting out of the car. The place he'd taken me to was ridiculously upscale and fancy; the valet hesitated only for a second before catching the keys Tony so carelessly tossed in his direction. There was almost no fear in his body language when the boy approached the massive, expensive vehicle.

The hostess smiled big at Tony and gave me the world's biggest stink-eye when he looked the other way but what else is new? As soon as she left us in the privacy of our booth, I didn't hesitate to stick my tongue at her retreating back. A brief lapse in maturity, if you will.

Tony cackled, growing suddenly serious. "Did she bother you? I can get her fired. I should get her fired."

"Nah," I shrugged. "Don't really care, just wanted to showcase my amazing sense of humour." Snorting, I gave Tony a wink and a secretive grin.

"You really don't give a fuck, do you," His eyebrows twitched again, a sign of mild interest that I noted during our routine sciencing time together. Tony was incredibly expressive if one took the time to observe.

"I could suck your dick under the table right now," I answered honestly. "It's just that when God gave out things like dignity and shame, I wasn't home. Too many fun things to do, y'know," I spoke as casually as I could even though I was dying of laughter inside.

Eyes bulging, jaw hanging mid-way to the floor. Tony was serving Looks™ and I didn't mean just the white tee and purple blazer combo. "Princess, you're going to be the fucking death of me!" He took a sip from his water glass, smirking.

Finally releasing my mirth, I gathered my hands in a lock in front of me. His own, warm and calloused, reached over - I allowed the brief intimacy, clasping them, fiddling with the leather band of his watch. For a moment, it was just us, sitting in the dim light, discovering each other anew to Robert Johnson singing the blues and NYC bustling with life just behind the wall.

The waiter took our orders - and if I totally butchered the Italian, Tony was gentleman enough not to make any remarks.

"Somehow, every time I am with you, you both manage to meet my expectations to a T and surprise me at the same time," I wasn't able to completely ignore my nerves. My hand was still loosely in his and he didn't mind at all, me messing with his watch.

"How so?"

"I'm going to loosely quote someone, bear with me." Mr Davies's words popped into my mind just as I was wondering how to best articulate my feelings. "You're eccentric and interesting because it's, well, it's you, because it would be much weirder if we'd be sitting here and making boring small-talk and asking each other the genetic get-to-know-you questions," I briefly paused to sip my Dom Peringon and stare at our hands. Gathering my wits. "That would be why I don't do dates. It sounds so tedious on paper, just sorting through people until a person that's not absolutely mind-numbing comes around."

Tony was silent for a moment, the sheen of his eyes, the faraway look; he was lost in memories. Probably remembering all the girls he had charmed before. I didn't doubt it was easy for him: his smile was distracting and people usually were attracted to shiny things. He shone plenty. Also, most people were stupid, they never cared to look past the golden wrapper. I was convinced there was a diamond under it. But then again, I was biased.

"I've never thought about it that way, but I guess you're right," He finally said, serious. "With Pepper, at least, it was. Come to think of it, we never had that much in common, besides Stark Industries and her willingness to put up with my shit." It was painful for him to talk about her, that much was obvious. His laugh was forced and sardonic.

I, on the other hand, never understood why they got together in the first place. Or maybe I did - but the cold, composed Pepper and the chaotic, energetic Tony reminded me too much of my own parents. All four people in this fucked up equation could have been much happier if they choose... What? Being alone? That was terrifying, too.

I kept quiet, giving his hands a gentle squeeze.

"You know, this is so bizarre. Even an eighteen year old kid has got it figured out," He suddenly said, his tone bitter like the coffee that he loved.

"Woah, slow down," I put up a hand. "I never said I know what to do. I just said I know what NOT to do." The 'kid' remark would have made me eye-roll so hard my skull would crack any day. In this context, however, it was pretty spot on.

Tony snorted. "And how did you come by that information, pray tell, Baby?"

I huffed. "Have you met my parents?" We simultaneously cringed and I hurried to erase that mental image. "I make fun of myself for being into old dudes all the time," I made air quotes around the phrase that made Tony scoff, "But, honestly speaking, I've never even been on a date. Like a real one. Usually it's twenty minutes and I'm falling asleep mid-conversation. People can't seem to keep up with me or something," I felt genuinely dejected. "So many meaningless questions, so many downright idiotic comments. From men," I pointed out the obvious. "My mother used to tell me she thought I was gay because I didn't act like a girl... Whatever that means."

"That sounds pretty shitty," Tony was studying me like one would have been looking at an exotic animal in a zoo. "That said, I agree."

"That I don't act like a girl?" I teased him, the left corner of my mouth tilting upward. "Fuck that noise. I want to drive fast cars, drink straight liquor and have orgasms. If that makes me a dude... I look pretty good for a dude in a dress."

We laughed in unison, tension evaporating under the shared, mutual understanding. With Tony, it was easy. The waiter brought our selected dishes. Blink-and-he's-gone. Top notch service.

"A dude in a dress, can't say I'm surprised 'bout your lack of dates," He remarked conversationally, happily digging into his food. The noises he made were intriguing, to say the least, and I followed suit on my own food, finding it absolutely delicious. A delicious meal with a delicious man at my side. I refused to feel guilty about my thoughts.

"I guess I have exactly one (1) date on my ledger now," I raised my argument.

The fork clattered as Tony once again, came to a sudden realization. "Holy shit, you weren't kidding."

"No shit," I gave into the urge to roll my eyes. "But on the upside, my first date was with the most gorgeous, intelligent and witty bachelor of the city. I'd say I don't have it all that bad," I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Aw, you're making me blush," Tony recovered quickly, grinning. "And don't be shy. The most desired bachelor of the country, if not the world."

I shook my head. "No, the world's most delectable bachelor is one of the Saudi princes. What's-his-name, the one who posts goat and horse pics on Insta," I snapped my fingers a couple of times, trying to remember the name as Tony looked at me all offended. "Anyways, you get my point. I could have a go at him, don't you think?" Cocking my shoulder, coyly twirling the strap of my dress, I gave Tony my best come-hither look and was rewarded with an appreciative once-over. His eyes were growing hungry again.

"You're a million dollar baby," He finally said, voice low. "And the extent of people I would be willing to share you with is very small."

That got me interested, sudden heat prickling underneath my skin. The conversation took a turn I didn't expect it to; and there lied the delight of being around Tony. He was always ready to surprise, in the best way. "Tell me," I requested politely.

"That's a conversation for another time," He was enjoying the chit-chat, desire beginning to creep into his features.

"Mmm, you think?" I allowed the strap of my dress to slip down my shoulder, exposing a collarbone, showing him just how far I was willing to go to satisfy my curiosity.

He swallowed audibly. "I think... You're smart enough to figure it out," He finally gritted his teeth, finishing off his dinner and immediately calling for the check.

I wasn't done yet, however. The possibility of riling him up, taunting him into a lustful frenzy - I was in heaven. Karma had favoured me that evening, it had given me a chance to get Tony back for all the times he unknowingly made my mouth water and my brain go blip. "Must be Steve then," I bit my lip in thought.

Honestly? I was as clueless as the couple next table over. Steve it wasn't, that much I knew for sure, he and Tony had their little love/hate dramatic connection that always ended in a massive ego standoff. Tony would be on the frontline fighting against Steve if the blonde dared to show anything even remotely resembling romantic interest towards someone Tony himself had his eyes on.

"Princess," Tony growled, sarcastically raising an eyebrow.

"Not Steve," I replied, cracking a smile. Success! "You know, I'm really bad at guessing who's into me. Unless someone is balls deep in me," My face was mere inches away as we quickly shrugged on our coats. "And even then, I can't be sure."

My giggling was accompanied by Tony shaking his head in exasperated fashion; he took my hand nonetheless and I happily swayed it between us, poster child for "not a care in the world". He allowed it, maintaining the same exasperated air about him, and I let him. Fondness and happiness seeped through that anyways.

"Brat," His voice was kind. And his kiss tingled where he left it on the corner of my mouth, sweet and short. "Here, have a go," Before I could react, the keys to his Rolls Royce were placed in my palm and he was making his way around the car to the passenger's side.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings @vozit @littlegasps @pilloclock @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife @individualistfem @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway (it finally let me tag you)! @softie-socks @schemefrenzy

#tony stark x reader #tony stark x you #tony stark x y/n #bruce banner x reader #bruce banner x you #bruce banner x y/n #stephen strange x reader #stephen strange x y/n #stephen strange x you #party favours #bun writes

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theficplug · 4 years

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🅶🅸🆁🅻🆂 🆃🆁🅸🅿

𝓅𝓉 𝟤

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈: 𝟣𝟪+ , 𝓈𝓂𝓊𝓉

𝓔𝓻𝓲𝓴 𝔁 𝓑𝓵𝓪𝓬𝓴 𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻

{𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝓰𝓸𝓮𝓼 𝓸𝓷 𝓪 𝓬𝓻𝓾𝓲𝓼𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓰𝓲𝓻𝓵𝓼 𝓭𝓾𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔀𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓫𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓽-𝓫𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓹 & 𝓶𝓮𝓮𝓽𝓼 𝓔𝓻𝓲𝓴 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝓼𝓱𝓮 𝓷𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓼 𝓱𝓲𝓶 𝓶𝓸𝓼𝓽. 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓸 𝓽𝓸 𝓪 𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓼. 𝓘 𝔀𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓮 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓸𝓷 𝓶𝓸𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓮 𝓼𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓯𝓲𝓬 𝓰𝓸𝓽 𝓭𝓮𝓵𝓮𝓽𝓮𝓭 4 𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓼😂. 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓾𝓰𝓰𝓵𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓵. 𝓘 𝓱𝓸𝓹𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔂'𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓮𝓷𝓳𝓸𝔂✌🏾 𝔁}

His fingertips danced along your spine following the golden sunlight against your umber skin. While you laid next to him softly placing kisses to his shoulder and chest.

You smiled to yourself remembering how damn near perfect last night was. He didn't ask anything of you after giving you one of the most mind blowing orgasms of your life.

He just cuddled you almost swaying you as you fell asleep nestled against his side.

You felt him toss and turn until you wrapped your arms around him. Although he's never admit to being a little spoon.

"Damn, it must really be paradise here. 'Cause it can't get more perfect than this. I haven't slept all night like that in a long time." He says lowly his voice slightly raspy and deeper from the tiredness lingering.

"I mean besides the morning breath. Whew yours is kicking." You say to him jokingly before he scoops you closer into his arms and kisses all over your neck.

"Come shower with me then?" He proposed, already halfway out of the bed.

After grabbing your things you headed towards the large bathtub with him. It was absolutely breathtaking and you still couldn't imagine how you pulled off getting a ticket for this luxurious cruise.

"What's on your mind? " He asks while pulling you closer to rest against him. His warm wet hands soothing over the kinks in your back.

"Just thinking of how quickly everything has moved. First it was the breakup and then getting the position I've always wanted. And coming on this cruise and finally reuniting with you. It has just been a world wind of emotions. But as corny as it is. I'm glad that I'm with you right now." You say quietly before looking up at him and pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

"You still got them same ass big brown eyes. The kind you can't forget if you tried to. I never really gotta chance to say I'm sorry. I ain't mean to take off like that. I had some things that I had to take care of back then. Things that I'm still taking care of now. Things that I wanna tell you about but I feel like that's too much too soon." He says never once breaking eye contact with you as he chose his words carefully.

You eyed him for a moment wondering what changed with him when he left. You wanted to question the scars that carried ghosts of his past etched across his skin or to ask him why he trembled when you held him last night. But you settled on a gentle kiss to his chest.

" All that matters right now is that you're safe. In time maybe you'll comfortable enough to tell me all about it. I believe that everybody's gotta past. It's alright" You soothe him and you can feel him for once relax against the bathtub.

You slowly glide your hand down his body to stroke him softly.

You noticed that eye contact is a big thing for him as you watch him melt under your gaze and touch.

You pump him slowly as you rest your forehead against his and press a kiss to his lips.

You sink down onto him slowly. Taking a moment to work him in fully before working all the way up and back down again to find a rhythm. "I'm glad that I'm here with you." You repeat against his lips as you slowly start to ride him.

At first he just holds onto you as if you're going to float away. He's kissing every part of you that he can touch before burying his face in your breasts as you hold his head against you. You maneuvered lower so that he can tug teasingly on the right nipple then the left.

Your hand smacks against the the outside of the bathtub as a kneejerk reaction to him beginning to fuck you back. His hand gripping onto your right hip tighter as he angles you slightly and drives into you at a new angle.

"Eriiikkkk. Right there. Right there. Keep going baby-" You whine into his mouth as you find the right rhythm between the two of you.

You roll your hips down while he's giving deeper strokes into you from below.

"You close huh? Don't run from it. Come on. Don't hold shit back from me." He demands as he grips your left hip harder holding you into place as he pounds into you and uses his other hand to massage your clit.

That one last stroke had your arching your back into him and he took the opportunity to latch onto your nipple again nibbling it as he strokes you through your orgasm not stopping the rhythm between lightning fast strokes and then rolling his hips.

You squeal as you hold onto his shoulders and bounce yourself through it before falling forward into him.

"Nuh uh. Don't hold back neither. Give me that shit. You're hard as a fucking brick for me. I know you wanna cum. C'mon bae." You tease you whine your hips fluidly against him teasing him up and down you.

He groans loudly and squeezes your cheeks hard holding you against him as his head rolls back and you grip his beard for him to look at you.

"Please, cum for me." You whisper to him as you feel him throbbing and pulsing ready to spill over for you he leans up and leave kisses down your neck before biting onto your shoulder hard as his stomach clenches and he releases for you.

"Goooddd. So good for me. " You moan praising him for giving you what you wanted.

After showering for real this time he left you to do your makeup and pick out an outfit for the day.

"I don't know how I feel about this look. I mean we're supposed to dock in like an hour and go sightseeing . And I'm late. I was supposed to meet the girls for breakfast. 10 minutes ago. So, this is good?" You say to Erik showing him the cherry red sleeveless dress that draped off over your back with a slit up the thigh.

It was the perfect shade to make your bronze skin pop along with the matching red lipstick and a simple winged liner.

You leaned your weight to one hip and smoothed out the dress smiling to yourself for a second as you watch him eyeing you up and down.

"You look so damn fine. I wanna spend all day in bed with you but these niggas tryna go snorkeling and shit." He says to you as you shake your head while laughing at him.

"That sounds fun though. I think we're gonna hit up all the major food spots and tourist-y things we can today. But I'll meet up with you tonight. Gimme kiss." You say to him before you both head out.

On your way to the elevator you finally check your phone and see all the missed calls and texts from Derrick. 'Shit.' was your only thought as you scrolled through them.

"I'm not gonna apologize cause I'm grown. I can do whatever with whoever I wanna do it with. But I didn't mean for you to hear all of that. I must've called you by accident last night." You say to him as he answers the phone.

"So are we even now?" Is the only thing he asks as you shake your head at how unbelievable he is.

"Not even close. Look I've gotta go. I just wanted to call and clear the air so that you don't think this was something planned to "get back at you "."

"To be honest I deserve more than an accidental call. I'm sorry. I really am. I know that I fucked up a good thing. I hope that someday we can at least go back to being friends." He says and for a moment you wanna believe that that's possible.

"Friends don't do that to each other Derrick. Like I said I just wanted to clear the air. I gotta go." You say hanging up quickly once you make it to the cute little cafe on the second floor of the ship.

You take a deep breath in before walking in and over to the table where your friends already eating and cackling about something.

"Good morning y'all. I- I overslept." You say to them with a small smirk while sitting down.

"BITCHHHHH. Yo ass got good dick glow written all over you. That birth control was doing its job this morning! " Khadijah laughs as you throw an orange slice her way.

"Sebastian wasn't it though. 2 words. Chicken Nugggeeeettt. He's sweet as gold and we have so much in common but like y'all. " Khadi adds

"UH UUHHH. Girl, and he was talking big game and ended up whipping out the shrimp?" Tasha says to Khadi in disbelief

"Good morning. It looks like you had fun last night. Here we ordered you shrimp and grits and we're gonna need the full run down. So here" Tasha says as she puts the breakfast platter on your side of the table and Lynelle leans in closer.

"Shush like you and Tasha's bag wasn't buzzing its way through TSA. Y'all I ain't even gon lie. Mans ate the soul clean outta my body. I was shaking and shit. I thought I was bout to morph into something. I'm like girl is this the moment where I turn into a Demogorgon. And then he just like held me and that kinda intimacy I hadn't felt in so long. Everything was going good. Morning sex was bomb...But then the gag is i must've accidentally called Derrick right before that cause he heard everything." You say and then watch Tasha , Khadi, and Lynelle cut up.

Tasha was clapping and laughing as Tasha and Lynelle tried to hold it in before laughing until the point of tears.

"Wait , wait I'm hollering." Tasha yells

You set there with your arms crossed before cracking into a giggle of your own.

"I don't know why I felt bad. But I did after I found out what happened. Is that weird?" You ask as you push the food around the plate.

"As a psychologist, I want to say something profound like. Dopamine causes us to try and find the love object, hence why we spend days thinking about the other person. It’s for this very reason that it can be so incredibly hard for us to move on to a relationship with someone else. We tend to idealize our exes and distort the memories we have with them. We romanticise the reality and forge an idea in our minds of what life with them is like when often it’s not the truth. But as your best friend I just wanna say fuck Derrick and his feelings." Khadi says bluntly while sipping on the mimosa

"She ain't wrong. He didn't really take your feelings into consideration when he did what he did. So, i'm with Khadi on this one. Fuck Derrick." Lennie says as she raises her glass

"FUCK DERRICK" y'all say in unison as all 3 of you raise your glass for a toast.

After the ship docked and you realised you were gonna be staying at a villa not too far from Erik's everything seemed to go smoothly.

You and Erik ended up venturing off together to all the little boutiques and food spots on your list.

Tasha and Lennie wanted to do all the cute tourist-y things on their own little list.

Khadi ended up going with Sebastian to do the snorkeling activities and meeting the dolphins. It turned out that they both love the ocean and marine life.

After sending each other quick texts about the change of plans. You agreed to meet up for dinner and to test out Club Jenja later on.

He didn't smother you when you and the girls danced at the club. But you could feel his eyes on you when men got too close to you for his liking. He did come by occasionally to ask you if you were okay or if you needed a water. Or if he just wanted a kiss from you.

He was currently standing by the bar talking to his boys when you notice a dark haired woman and another girl saunter up to him.

While they were standing there telling him their whole life story it seemed. His eyes never left yours.

"My feet hurt." You say to him as you walk over to as if the girls aren't standing there.

"Let's go then." He replied simply already done with the scene and just wanted to be chilling with you.

Your feet were done at this point from dancing all night in them skinny ass heels and he ain't hesitate to carry you bridal style to the Uber.

You wasted no time pulling off your look and slipping into one of your oversized shirts.

"You play too much. Why you left your girlfriend hanging like that?" you ask him laughing softly into his shoulder.

Of course he wanted to stay at your villa tonight.

You were both a little tipsy on the shots from the bar and realised that honey whiskey made both of y'all all lovey dovey.

"She really said I hope y'all enjoy your honeymoon. You a cute couple. Maybe she seen something with us." he says repeating the elderly lady that y'all met in a souvenir shop earlier. Then pondering the thought

"She was really cute though." You say to him as he helps you wipe your makeup and adjust your head scarf in the back for you.

"You wanna use this face mask? You gotta lil sunburn right here on your nose. I told you to wear sunscreen. Talking bout lotion gonna cover it." You scold him softly before giving him a kiss to the tip of his nose.

"Yeah , lemme go pee real quick." He says before moving from sitting between your legs on the bed.

You knew that you both weren't going to sleep anytime soon. So, you grabbed the laptop and turned on your playlist which mostly consisted of smooth r&b.

You watched as Erik walked out of the bathroom grooving to music and leaned down to kiss you.

Safe to assume that it's impossible to get over how his kisses made your skin light up like the 4th of July.

3 glasses of wine later and y'all were deep into conversation about everything from is there life on other planets to life paths.

"I think if I wasn't a stylist I'd be a criminal psychologist. That type of stuff has always seemed interesting to me." You say as he asks if you watched the new I Am A Killer series on Netflix.

To him revealing that he has a 4 year old daughter.

"Ava? She's the most adorable little thing. I can't wait to meet her one day." You say as you look at the pictures of her. She had his nose and head shape but with hazel eyes. Her adorable 4c fro adorned with jewels and cornrows in the front clasped with berets.

You think for a second wanting to ask him about the situation with the baby mama but didn't want to pry too much into it. Especially if you too planned on just keeping things casual.

"I met her mama while I was deployed. She got ill, and ain't really make it too many days past Ava's 2nd birthday." He says as he rub the back of his neck and shake his head.

You let out a small pout before pulling him in for a warm hug. You lay back with him in your arms and scratch at his scalp gently.

"I can tell that she was a good woman. Just look at how smart and kind and caring Ava is already. She taught her so much in such an unfortunate amount of time." You say thinking over the appropriate answer for the situation.

It's wild to think about this man was your best friend for years. And it feels like everything and nothing has changed all at once.

"I hooked up with Mr. Thomas after graduation." You blurt and Erik looks up at you for a minute before laughing hard as fuck.

"What the fuck? How? When?" He asks as he shakes his head still laughing.

"Well, he been a whole ass snack since junior year and I saw him during the girls trip to Mardi Gras . Like around carnival time. And we just got to talking. He stopped teaching math and now he's like traveling the world and all of this stuff. " You say laughing

"I can't believe that shit. I used to be disrespectful as fuck to that nigga too. He know I was good at math and cause I used to skip his class he always tried to play me like I ain't know nothing. Like nigga I didn't need to cheat off nobody homework or test." He says scoffing at the thought before his phone begins to ring

"We going to the zoo today. Sing the song daddy." Ava asks and she nods before saying hello to her and her grandmother.

"Isn't she lovely. Isn't she wonderful-" He's cut off by her with a shake of her head.

"Not that one - the other one papa." She tells him and you look over to see him thinking before he dramatically says "ooh that one."

Your heart melted as they started singing together. She's smiling and laughing with her father as tried to sing with him.

"We're gonna have a good day. And all my homies gonna ride today. And all these mommies look fly today. And all we wanna do is get by today. Heyyy. We're gonna have a good day. And ain't nobody gotta cry today. Cause ain't nobody gonna die today. You save that drama for another day. Heyyy we gonna have a good day." He finishes and you swear that your heart grew at least two sizes watching him interact with her.

"Have fun at the zoo with Grandma, let her put the sunscreen on you when you get out , and say hey to the penguins for Daddy alright? I'll call you later. " He finishes and he says goodbye to her grandmother before ending the call.

"We came up with it when she start going to pre-school. She hated being away from me . So every morning we would sing the song together and she gets all the special hugs before she goes out the door to carry with her to have a good day. I don't miss a day." He explains and you couldn't help but kiss his face all over.

He was such a multi-faceted person to just sit back and admire. You could get use to this eventually being everyday.

But , a tinge of sadness couldn't help but wash over you . Thinking of what could've been if things hadn't happened the way that they did with you two.

You both eventually drift off while holding him in your arms, tipsy as hell, and feeling full of love.

Taglist:

@blackmissfrizzle @chaneajoyyy @sheisexcellent1 @fd-writes @theogbadbitch @yoyolovesbucky @destinio1

Lemme know if I missed anybody x

#erik killmonger smut #erik killmonger #black panther fic #black panther imagine #black panther smut

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babieyangyang10 · 4 years

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violent ends (chapter 6)

(chapter 6)

series masterlist

genre: hunger games!au

pairings: huang renjun x oc, na jaemin x oc

warnings: kissing, language, violent deaths, fighting, angst, fluff, + nsfw

previous | next

Athena’s POV

Every night since I've arrived to the Capitol, I would go and sit out on the balcony after training. It's calming and sobering to rewind the events of the entire day.

For example, I had just finished telling Taeyong about my plans with Jaemin in private. I made sure that no one else, especially Renjun, knew what was going to happen. Of course, Taeyong wasn't too happy about me being with a boy. Or at least pretending to be with one. However, he said it doesn't matter to him, just as long as I win.

I also thought about how we were gong to be evaluated and given rankings tomorrow. Rankings, ranked from one to twelve, are assigned by the Gamekeepers to tributes, after they are given fifteen minutes to show off their best skills. These are very important, since these are televised to the public and show people who they should sponsor.

I hear the door slide open from behind me.

"You here to kill me, yet?" I joke, seeing Renjun.

"Maybe." He shrugs, sitting down beside me.

We both stare down at the Capitol below. Watching as a group of citizens are walking, having the time of their lives. For them, the games were the most excited part of their whole year.

I speak up, "They look so happy"

"If I lived like this everyday, I would be happy too," Renjun says, matter of factly, "The food. The apartments. Who wouldn't be happy?"

Frowning, I state, "I wouldn't. Do you wanna know why?"

"No, but your probably going to tell me anyway." Renjun rolls his eyes.

I wonder what he truly thinks about the Capitol and the games.

"Haven't you seen the kids from twelve? They look so small and malnourished. I would feel bad for living like that, when there are others, like them, who can't." I shake my head.

"Where'd you get those ideas from? Jaemin? They look fine to me."

I begin to throw a pebble off the roof. However, a invisible force causes the pebble to bounce back into the balcony.

"Do you know why they have that? It's so the tributes can't jump off." I try to make a point.

He plainly stated, "I don't get why they would do that."

Frustrated, I ask, "Have you ever even thought about all the things you might not ever get to do?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. There's so many things I never got to do. You know, all the things teenagers are supposed to do. Like first kisses and love and all that stuff." I shake my head.

"Probably cause no one has ever wanted to be with you like that." He laughs at me.

Sharply, I just reply with, "Jaemin would."

"Of course," He repeats to himself, "Of course, he would."

Taken aback, I inquire, "What's that supposed to mean?"

He just shakes his head.

"Okay, fine. Then, have you ever kissed someone before, Renjun?" I interrogate.

His nose wrinkles in disgust, "Ew, how did this conversation get so long and gross?"

"Renjun, it's just a simple question." I state, nonchalantly.

"Fine," He answers quickly, "I never got the chance to. So, no."

I let out a laugh of relief, "Well, now I feel better about myself."

Renjun just shrugs, "I just don't get why it's such a big deal."

"How can you know it's not a big deal if you've never tried it?" I suggest.

He stares at me blankly. After pausing to think about my words, a little smile appears on his face.

"Lee Athena, it sounds a little like your trying to get me to kiss you right now."

My eyes widened in denial, "No. I'm really not."

He just chuckles to himself.

Without carefully considering the weight of my next words, I speak, "Although, you did say you didn't think it was a big deal."

"And?" Renjun pressures.

Out of my mouth slips, "So I guess it wouldn't be weird if you did."

He looks at me like I'm dumb, "Are you even listening to what you're saying?"

"I guess not. Never mind, then. I think I'm really tired and delirious. I'm going to bed." I quickly muster out, before practically running back into the apartment.

"Wait."

I run back into the living room and up to my own room. I really think I'm going crazy. It's only after shut the door to my room, that I realize the weight of what I just did. How messed up must I be to basically come on to Huang Renjun?

Huang Renjun!

Someone who's going to be trying to kill me in several days. I just tried to get him to kiss me, even though I'm about to have fake relationship with another boy. Which, Renjun can not know is fake. Otherwise, my whole game will be jeopardized and I could lose all the sponsors.

Knock. Knock.

"Who is it?" I play dumb.

"Lee Athena, open this door." Renjun commands, sternly.

I let him in the room, before beginning to plead with him, "Can you just for-"

Suddenly, he just quickly started leaning in.

Closer and closer.

Then, he just paused from hesitation. It was almost as if he was thinking, am I really about to do this?

However, the next thing I did was the result of no thinking on my part.

I grabbed his face and closed the gap. Oh my god, why are his lips actually so soft? This is so wrong. Maybe we shouldn't be doing this. Our lips just slightly touched for about eight seconds, before I moved away.

"Oh my god, did I really ju-"

Huang Renjun kisses me hard. This time, our lips began moving. He set a pattern and I just followed his lead. This time it felt less foreign, almost natural.

If I had to describe the feeling, it felt like I got punched in the stomach, just without the hurt. Instead, it just felt really warm. I almost felt like I could melt into a blazing inferno any second.

It was one of the best things I've ever felt in my life.

He pulls back, studying my facial expression.

"See, I was right. Not a big deal." He coldly shrugs before quickly leaving. I don't stop him, either. This is what I deserve. I'm the one who walked myself into this situation. Maybe it's better, if I just block it out of my memories.

However, as I'm waiting with the rest of the tributes to be called in for examinations, it's the only thing I can think about.

"You look like you're about to throw up. Nervous?" asks a concerned Jaemin, sitting next to me.

"Just a bit," I lie, "I really don't want to mess up."

"Hey, it's okay. I know you're going to be great." He comforts, sweetly.

A mechanical voice comes over the speakers, "Lee Athena."

"Please, just don't kill anyone." Jaemin trys to ease my fake nervousness with a joke.

"No promises." I wink before entering the gym.

I look up to see the Gamemakers, where they had watched us during training. Luckily for me, District 2 is one of the earlier groups they see first. That means, they are more awake and still excited.

I walk over to a table, where I see a large assortment of weapons to choose from. I grab multiple throwing knifes and place all of them in my left hand.

I inhale and look at the human-shaped targets in front of me. There were two targets on the head, chest, and stomach. I inhale, before I finally begin my rampage.

One target after the other, hitting with perfect precision. Even after I completely finish the target directly in front of me. I continue randomly throwing knifes, all precisely hitting the fake-humans.

I stop after there are no more knifes left. Peeking up, I see the Gamemakers clapping in awe.

Although, I'm not done yet. No, I need to give them something that they have no choice but to remember.

I return to the table and pick up an axe. I look up and gave a sweet smile to the Head Gamemaker, Seneca Crane.

Without looking at the target, I hold the axe behind my head, then throw straight at it.

Once hearing a thud, I smile in delight once I see it has hit the designated spot.

The groin.

With one last innocent smile, I make my exit.

"Oh my gosh, that was absolutely everything!" Doyoung gushed to me, sitting down on the couch.

"What happened?" asked a confused Renjun.

"I hit the target in the dick." I explained.

Doyoung cried out, "Language, Athena!"

"Oh shit, my bad. I meant the no-no square." I tease. Doyoung is one of those people who are fun to purposely stress out.

"Athena, quit bullying Doyoung." said Taeyong with a hint of playfulness. He came in from the kitchen and turned on the television. Surprisingly, I see Seulgi following him in.

There’s a small part of me that wants to score high for her. Especially, since her outfit is the reason I have gained any support so far. I really don’t want to throw away the opportunity she helped provide me.

On the screen appears the host, Caesar Flickerman. One of the things he was known for was changing his hair color for the games every year. This year, his powdered-blue hair was styled in a low ponytail.

“As you know, the tributes were rated on a scale from one to twelve, after 3 days of careful evaluation. The Gatekeepers would like to acknowledge that it was an exceptional group.

From District One, Jeno with a score of 10. Also, Haechan with a score of 9."

Those were really good scores. Although, nothing unexpected from a Career.

“Then, we have District 2. First, we have Huang Renjun with a 10.”

“Wow!” Doyoung claps loudly. Renjun just cringes at the man.

Caesar’s voice becomes more high pitched, “Then, we have Lee Athena with an 11!”

Well, I guessed they liked my little stunt. Although, I can let this go to my head. Especially, since this means I have to be prepared for a huge target on my head.

“Well done, both of you.” Taeyong praises, content.

We pay attention to the rest of the scores. Jaemin received a ten, which I know he worked hard for. Compared to the Careers, the rest of the tributes were not as high. However, this doesn’t mean they’re not as much as a threat. Many people like to use a strategy of hiding all of their talents until they step into the arena.

We all head back to our rooms. Renjun, of course, avoiding any sort of conversation with me. I lay down on my bed and sigh.

Tomorrow, everything’s going to change.

#nct au #nct smut #nct dream imagines #nct series #nct dream #renjun #jaemin #haechan #jeno #nct #nct dream smut

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redmalbec · 4 years

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My top 10 favorite openings

Yeah I know nobody asked for it, but welcome to discover new music and hopefully new animes/mangas if they catch your eye. I won't include openings of romcoms or a few slice of life stories since I should make a different list for them. I'll add the name of the band if I find it. There's a couple of songs here from animes I didn't watch. If you think there's another amazing opening that should be listened to, share!

BTW I tend to listen to music on Youtube music, if you can support the work of these artists with this app, or Spotify, iTunes, or CDs, please do it!

DURARARA!! [Uragiri no Yuuyake - Theatre Brook]

Wonderful music, I don't have much to add since I haven't watched the anime but it looks interesting. This only time I'll only share the link to the video (couldn't find an official one) since I reach the limit of linked multimedia.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5-4eQuExgE

MOB PSYCHO 100 I [99 - Mob Choir]

I always thought this was some uninteresting anime, and well I was totally wrong. The animation is AWESOME, the story is really cool and explores some interesting perspectives about life that other shonen (or seinen?) ignore. It has a different style, it's kinda plain at times (and this might be good because it avoids unnecessary complexity) but in my opinion, much better than some popular animes of the moment. I feel it's very original, and stays as part of my top 10 manga/animes too.

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FULL METAL ALCHEMIST BROTHERHOOD [Again - YUI]

This might be my favorite song. If I ever fall in a coma, try to wake me up with it, I'm sure it will work. I might be biased because this is the first anime I watched (when I didn't care about these kind of series) and I love it, and it's definitely my favorite (I was lucky to be gifted the first volume in japanese). The melody is calm and the lyrics are heart touching. FMA is a manga and anime you should add to your watch/read list without a doubt. Sharing short version of the song to find the channel of the artist.

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BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA [The day - Porno Grafitti]

I will never regret being on the bus playing this song on my phone (with headphones) being seen by people who would think something about the name of the band (like listening to anime openings almost every day wasn't already a weird thing). None of the other songs of BNHA surpassed the greatness of this song IMO.

About it, even though it gets criticism I think it's a good story, and I feel it can be incredibly creative at times - there's a reason why it's so popular after all. I should also remark that it pays attention to a lot of characters, secondary or villains have good development (something that I haven't seen in other shonen or they fail to do it, and remember BNHA has A LOT of characters).

This story is definitely going to be long, I think it's close to reach its first half, expect probably 70 volumes or so.

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NARUTO [Kanashimi Wo Yasashisa Ni - Little by Little]

Wait? WHAT? Did you really pick this opening over Silhouette? I mean, no offense to Silhouette and the fantastic band KANA-BOON, but I've listened to it so many times (best memes lol), and I already didn't have it as my favorite. There are other openings that I love (Naruto Shippuden this time): 2, 3, 5, 9, 10, 14, 15 (Guren is the best one IMO), 16, 17, 20.

You didn't watch Naruto? Then what are you doing here? It's a must watch! It's a shonen with beautiful messages, inspiring characters, and this song probably embodies one positive vibe of the story - best part "the most important things are those without any shape".

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PSYCHO PASS [Abnormalize - ling tosite sigure]

This anime is definitely in my favorite list, I feel it's the best seinen I've watched. Its manga is an adaptation, but the original story is the one that's animated. Some people say that season 2 and 3 aren't as good as the first and honestly it's hard to do something more brilliant than the incredible season 1, nonetheless you would miss the progress of the story and interesting characters if you only leave at the first one.

It reaches some philosophical thoughts that not all sci-fi can explore on the same way. Don't expect it to be an easy watch though - you better click pause to understand every dialogue.

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SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN [Shinzou wo sasageyo - Linked Horizon]

Yeah, the first opening is AMAZING, but I might have a thing for 2nd openings. I must say that the synchronization of the scenes don't make justice for the melody of this song, though. Attack on Titan might reach the top 5 best shonen (is it shonen anyways?) anime/manga of all time.

I saw everyone talking about it and praising it, so I decided to watch the first episode and I couldn't get through it because of its disturbing art LMAO. My eye is accustomed to other kind of art, but I have to say I WAS TOTALLY WRONG. Good thing the second time I watched it I felt comfortable and discovered not only a mind-blowing story, but yeah, its animation is fantastic (take a peek at a few YT videos showing the process on the making of Levi's scenes). I only follow the manga to be updated, and I'm bad at recognizing characters, but you won't waste time or money by giving this one a chance.

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THE PERFECT INSIDER [Talking - KANA BOON]

I tell you, this is a list of favorite openings, it doesn't mean I've watched all the anime, but I'm going to do it thanks to these fantastic songs, and KANA BOON deserved a mention. Also known as "Subete ga F ni Naru" this seinen anime is based on a novel.

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MOB PSYCHO 100 II [99.9 - Mob Choir]

Wasn't this anime already on the list? No, no it's not (?) I mean, HOW CAN'T I INCLUDE THIS ONE. Fantastic. I thought I wouldn't be able to fall in love with the new opening but after listening to it twice I couldn't get it off my mind. There's a reason, well deserved reason, why it got chosen for the Crunchyroll awards...

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NEON GENESIS EVANGELION [Zankoku na Tenshi no Te-ze - Yoko Takahashi/Hidetoshi Sato]

Starts with an angelic voice to a disco-like rhythm, and it's without a doubt a fantastic song. This might be the most famous opening of anime. Pay attention or watch twice if you want to understand the story, though.

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🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹

There is a song that's missing, don't you think so? This one can't be part of a top 10 because it's honestly so amazing that leaving it there would make it shine less, and it deserves the BEST recognition.

Special mention

TOKYO GHOUL [Unravel - TK from ling tosite sigure]

If I'm in a coma and the song Again didn't work, then this one will wake me up FOR SURE. I love how it embodies the angst of the story, the tragedy, the bad luck of the protagonist. I recommend to read the manga instead of keeping too loyal to the anime - it's no surprise that SP messed up with the storytelling of another manga... Did I say how hard it must be to play it on the piano? Or even sing it?

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#durarara #mob psycho #mob psycho one hundred #neon genesis evangelion #naruto #naruto anime #subete ga f ni naru #psycho pass #boku no hero academia #tokyo ghoul #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #the perfect insider #full metal alchemist #full metal alchemis brotherhood #anime opening

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eeveelutionsforequality · 6 years

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(1) As much as I know of the self diagnosis vs self advocacy debate, I haven't seen anyone talk about how to self advocate when it comes to mental health. I strongly suspect I am bipolar, since I have a confirmed history of major depressive episodes, but I also have periods of experiencing symptoms of hypomania. I was also subjected to bullshit social skills classes in high school (I'm autistic), which among other things, taught me to communicate indirectly to avoid hurting people's feelings.

(2) I know it is caused me problems with communicating, but I am still in the habit of doing that, and I realized that may be why I'm not getting anywhere when I bring it up to my therapist. I'm not comfortable with resorting to self-diagnosis at this time, but I also think the lack of a correct diagnosis is why therapy has not been helping me cope as much as it could. How do I bring it up in a way that will let my therapist know I want her to address my concerns?

I praise self-advocacy as an alternative to self-diagnosis, because those ballsy enough to walk into a psychiatrist's office or a conversation and declare "I have [thing]" are probably able to more rationally approach the subject in a "These are my symptoms and I think it could be this..." way. But just like how autobiographies aren't the only kind of biography, self-advocacy is far from the only kind of advocacy.

You don't need to be your own advocate, somebody else can come along and advocate for you - a friend, a family member, a volunteer from one of the local advocacy groups, etc. There's a group near me that advocates specifically for autistic people, for example.

If your conversation skills are inhibiting you from being able to adequately discuss things with a professional, you don't have to do it alone - it's definitely worth doing some googling, popping into some places that have leaflets for that sort of thing, etc, and finding out what's available near where you live if there's nobody in your life that can do that for you.

I have two advocates - one is a family member and one is an honourary family member. I do research, send it to them, and they keep notes about my symptoms, fluctuations, things I've shown them, etc, so that my memory issues don't become a barrier between me and what I want to explain. It's a life-saver.

At my last appointment, one came along and helped me fill in the forms, meaning that I got about twice the information down that I would've got down if I was relying on only my own brain. When I had to go to a tribunal, one came along then too, and they were excellent at spotting how the judge was trying to twist my words and butting in to correct him.

If you're more comfortable self-advocating then there are a number of things that you can do to make the process easier.

Firstly, keep a diary. Every day you need to write down your symptoms, your mood, notable moments, things you want to ask the doctor, food, fluid, sleep, alcohol, etc. Take that with you.

Secondly, go over that before the appointment and write yourself a "script". It doesn't need to be detailed or word for word, just get down the most important points and the way in which you want to convey them (NOT the way in which the memory of social skills classes tells you to convey them, but what you'd want somebody to say to you if they were trying to convey this effectively to you). Take that with you.

What I did with my DID was write a draft script on a piece of A4 paper a couple of weeks beforehand, and then I let my alters add to it or make notes on it with their opinions - I took that in with me and showed the doctor, and the differences in handwriting and wording had a much bigger impact than I was expecting and really helped in getting them to seriously consider that possibility.

Thirdly, don't waffle. I know it's tempting to be like "I have to get all of the details out in the first speech", but the therapist is going to ask questions afterwards. Boil what you need to say down to its key components, the facts that you need her to understand as the foundation moving forwards, and work out how to effectively convey those in less time than somebody would get the urge to interrupt - no tangents, no innuendo, just "This. That. The other thing too." But don't skip important details for the sake of brevity - find the balance.

Fourthly, make sure that you have the right psychiatrist. The counsellor that I had in college and the clinical psychiatrist that I had in hospital were both able to pick up on the things that made me more comfortable and more able to speak, and both knew not to interrupt me - the two of them learnt more about me and made me more comfortable than any other professional, just by letting me drink a hot chocolate and doodle on my phone. The psychologist who did my mindfulness therapy, on the other hand, insulted me for using my phone and my wall became 87% thicker in less than a second. You have to be working with somebody who lets you speak and who understands the way in which you speak.

Fifthly, if you know what helps you speak, tell them; if you don't know what helps you speak, begin the conversation with words to the effect of "I'm really struggling to get this out, but I prepared really hard, so I'd really appreciate it if you'd let me say my piece, and then we can discuss it afterwards instead of you interrupting me and making it harder for me to get out what I need to get out." If they then interrupt you, remind them that at the beginning of this they promised not to do so.

Remind yourself mentally that this is your therapy, this is your recovery, this is for you, this is important, and you deserve to be heard.

Sixthly, do research but downplay how much research you've done... "I stumbled across something that accurately described my experience and they called it hypomania" sounds a lot better than "I heard of hypomania on tumblr and spent twelve hours researching it" because the latter says to a doctor "I convinced myself that I have this because it sounded cool".

I was seeing psychiatrists back when the emo fad started, I was talking to them at the height of "Teenagers are all pretending to have depression because they read about it on the internet and think it's cool" days, so I know first-hand how eager some professionals can get to jump to that conclusion - unfortunately, there were times when seeing doctors felt more like a test of my ability to word the truth in a more digestible way than an opportunity to actually talk about how I was feeling.

An essential part of research should be to get your terms right - I fucked up back in the day because I referred to my compulsion to mime slitting my wrists or shooting myself in the head when I'm panicked as a "suicidal gesture" (however there's a medical term, "suicide gesture", that sounds almost identical and it means when you feign a suicide attempt by injuring yourself in a non-deadly manner, typically for attention) and not as a compulsion, which is part of how my OCD diagnosis got wrongly changed to a BPD diagnosis. I had never even heard of the terminology, I was just saying "I have to do a suicidal gesture when I'm panicking" meaning "When I'm panicked I have the compulsion to mime ways in which I envision killing myself", it was just poor wording, I had no idea that it was a medical term with an entirely different meaning. That created a huge misunderstanding, as you can imagine.

Seventhly is some advice that a friend gave me and honestly it's one of the best things that I've ever heard and comes in two parts: 1) play to your strengths, and 2) use your acting voice.

So part 2 is the easy one, everybody has something called a chest voice - it's a deeper voice that you use when singing or performing that projects better. Look up some YouTube videos on how to use your chest voice and practice it - it conveys a confidence that most people's normal voices do not. You could also stand in front of a mirror and work on your facial expressions.

Part 1 is a little more complicated and probably something that people will frown upon me for saying but... in this world you gotta be a little manipulative sometimes, you've got to assess situations and respond accordingly, you've got to word things certain ways.

I'm a very small, quiet person with an accent that immediately halves my IQ to everyone who hears it, it is near enough impossible for me to convey an air of superiority and maturity, but it's easy for me to play dumb and sweet. I can't get the psychiatrist to shut up by being somebody who sounds like I know what I'm talking about, if I get annoyed or snap it won't look like anger (I'm too quiet and I physically do not possess angry face muscles, I hate it), but if I go quiet and stare sadly at the floor then people notice and ask what's wrong. I can't get somebody to inherently assume that when I name a disorder I know what I'm talking about, but I can pretend that I've never heard of it or heard it in passing, and lead them into suggesting it.

I'm an extreme case in this regard and it's usually not a good idea to hide your real emotions and act when you're in a scenario where somebody is literally monitoring your body language for signals... there are definitely hardcore disadvantages and risks to that, and I am most certainly not recommending misleading your doctor, in fact I'm actively advising against doing that (I'm just saying that I do that sometimes, because I'm a dick and because my voice trying to yell "Shut the fuck up!" when I feel that angry usually only earns an "It doesn't even sound like swearing when you do it, that's adorable." because I'm fucking cursed).

What I am saying though is that I can't tell you exactly how to act (in fact, I'd be encouraging you to do something that I literally just said is bad if I did tell you how to act), I can't tell you exactly what words to say, where to put your hands, etc. The tip here is that you've got to be able to improvise, to assess the situation, to adapt, to know what you are and are not capable of and work within that, to see when a path is either going nowhere or going off topic and figure out how to direct it back, you've got to know how to talk to that specific person (professionals are just people, at the end of the day, and every person is different in how they speak and how they like being spoken to - some respond best to you casually bringing stuff up, some respond to structure, some click with you, some really don't).

Eighthly and most importantly, don't let any of this get you nervous. This advice is almost a "How to survive some of the shittiest doctors I had" sort of thing. The most likely outcome is that they're going to listen intently to what you have to say, trust you, respect you, ask the appropriate questions, and help you make sense of what's going on.

I have no doubt that you can do this and that you will absolutely rock it - you don't need that confidence in yourself, but reminding yourself that it's going to go well, that you're badass, that the professional is there to help you, and that they'll want this information as much as you want them to have it, that stuff will help. Believe in the heart of the cards, or the power of friendship, or your Pokémon, or something.

So, to put all this into something vaguely actionable (although I can't really give you much specific advice because I don't know what's going on in your head, so this is just like... idk vague template example thingy), the foundation of what you want your doctor to know is "I have the symptoms of hypomania, I want you to seriously consider the possibility that this is bipolar and not just depression."

In your symptom diary, keep track of the symptoms of hypomania - irritability, sleeplessness, recklessness, elation, etc - note down when they show up, how bad they are, how they impact you, your food and fluid and alcohol intake, the times of day when certain things happened, how well and long you slept, etc, but also jot down the depressive episodes and other potential symptoms, in case you need to answer questions in regards to those.

Next, write down the key points that you want to bring up on a separate note: how often did the symptoms generally show up? for how long? which are the most damaging? what is the worst thing that happened as a result?

Now you're in the appointment with your note and diary, you've told the doctor "You know I have some communication issues so I really need you to let me say what I've prepared, because I feel like the fact that the things I'm about to discuss aren't being addressed is really inhibiting my therapy." The doctor has agreed to let you speak and you've got your notes in front of you, and you say (a more applicable to you equivalent of) "I started a symptom diary a little while ago, I've brought it with me - I made note of symptoms, food intake, medication, sleep, and so on. I noticed that I was getting exceptionally irritable and hyperactive, especially during periods of a few days when I wasn't exhibiting as many of the depression symptoms, and I've ruled out sleep, food, and other factors as causes. On the fourth of last month, I got so restless that I couldn't sit down and I actually gave myself blisters pacing back and forth for six hours - while during the depressive episodes I can barely even manage to walk to the bathroom let alone pace. I came across an article online while looking up ways to ease the irritability, and I found that a few people described things incredibly similar to what I was going through, and they used the term 'hypomania'. I was hoping that we could talk through the symptoms that I've documented, and you could help me get my head around what's going on and how to treat it."

Then the doctor asks her questions, you answer as honestly and fully as you can, and try to cite evidence from your symptom diary.

If you can't manage to say the words that you need to say to start off such a conversation, then instead of just writing notes you could fully write out what it is that you want to say, and ask them to read it - explaining that you feel especially anxious about your ability to vocally express this, but it needs to be addressed because it's negatively impacting your therapy and your state of life.

Or, as I suggested at the beginning, have somebody else come along as an advocate.

That's just my advice stemming from my own experience... for some people, this advice might be unhelpful. As I mentioned earlier, you need to assess your situation, assess what you are and are not capable of, assess how your doctor usually responds to you, what they respond well to and what they respond poorly to, and so on - everybody's situation is different, so there isn't a list of "This is exactly what to say and do to get a doctor to listen to you" (as much as the crowd of people who adore convincing doctors that they have the next fad would love for there to be something like that). Ultimately, like any conversation, it's about what works best for the two individuals involved in that specific conversation.

Since I've broached this less from a general self-advocacy stand point (heck, I may even have pissed off self-advocacy people because a lot of this was "tips on how to stop shitty doctors being shitty" rather than all of the stuff about keeping records and knowing your rights and so forth) and more from a "personalized tips pulled from Vape's ceramic jar of ways to avoid my shitty mistakes", I'm now going to give you a handful of links to some more professional self-advocacy sites, and I recommend that you do proper research on the topic for a few hours on google. As flattered as I am that you came to me, and as hopeful as I am that my advice helps in some way, me waffling about the ways I avoid getting screwed over again isn't professional advice - I'm very aware, as someone who's worked in a youth group, that I am not the fountain of all knowledge and that it is my job to pass you on to those more capable and to ensure that you know that my word isn't law.

So check out some of these and do more specific research and googling when you have the time (these aren't all about self-advocacy in medical care, some are about self-advocacy in other areas or advocacy in general, but I hope the advice may still be useful):

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/advocacy/#.WlaI26CnzqA

http://www.familyaware.org/how-to-model-mentalhealth-selfadvocacy/

http://www.cooltanarts.org.uk/what-we-offer/self-advocacy/

https://www.voiceability.org/support-for-you/self-advocacy/

http://www.dhs.state.il.us/page.aspx?item=39797

https://www.ncld.org/archives/action-center/what-we-ve-done/self-advocacy-5-tips-from-a-student

https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/9767596

https://www.includenyc.org/resources/video-detail/10-self-advocacy-tips-for-young-people-with-disabilities

https://www.kidney.org/content/5-tips-self-advocacy

Also, full disclosure, I haven't thoroughly read all of these and I'm low on sleep and running on way more caffeine than I should really have had... I'm probably not in the best state to be imparting important information right now, but I really hope that somewhere in this jumble I said something that was useful. (I also love how the quality just gradually declines after I start craving a cigarette at the midway point... I'm so sorry.)

EDIT: PS I'm sorry that I got pronouns and job titles and stuff jumbled up all through this, uhh, my brain is running on super fast mode right now so it's not really accessing all of the important files or deeper processing. I'm sorry, again.

Alternatively, if your therapist is super great and trusts you "I think I've been experiencing hypomania, and I think this may be bipolar and not just depression" will work fine... but the symptom diary, that is a good tip for anybody and everybody, regardless.

~ Vape

#Mod Vaporeon #I really do hope this helps #also sorry if I'm acting a bit weird and sporadic #speaking of mania #I don't get many manic phases lately so I'm really not prepared for if this one lasts #and the caffeine is making it worse

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