#I fucked up one thing already for her and so I feel conflicted on whether or not to listen to her and help keep a hold on G

[genericpuff]

The Mishandling of LO's S3 Midseason Hiatus - Part 1

So Lore Olympus' return is right around the corner, and I realize I've never actually talked about the S3 midseason finale. I think I said I was going to, but then I just sorta didn't, probably because I was still reeling in the absolute absurdity of it for weeks afterwards. In hindsight, I should have written about it back when it was still fresh, but I feel like I can do it just as much - if not more - justice writing about them in hindsight, now that they've had time to sit and I've seen what Rachel and WT are clearly planning to do after the comic ends (whether or not they succeed... that's a different story).

CAUTION: THIS IS PART 1 OF A 3 PART SERIES IN WHICH I WILL BE SPOILING MUCH OF EPISODES 251-253. THIS EPISODE CONTAINS DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE INVOLVING STRANGULATION. THIS WILL BE A LONG POST. BRACE YOURSELF.

So one of the things that really motivated me to finally talk about this was a conversation that happened recently in the ULO Discord - the realization that there are many readers who still don't know what happened after the free to read finale cliffhanger.

Y'know, the one where Hades gets possessed by Kronos and attempts to choke Persephone-

Now, awful dark jokes aside about how Persephone frankly deserves to have her balloon head popped, this was a wild cliffhanger to leave on for free readers, but the strange thing this time around - unlike with the previous midseason hiatus - is that this is where the cliffhanger has stood for free readers for the past 3 months, and it will be 4 months by the time the series returns.

And frankly... this just highlights a huge problem with LO's writing, because this cliffhanger? Like all the others, it's literally resolved within the next episode. The one that's currently under the FP lock.

Man, isn't it a little fucked up that we only ever get trigger warnings when it's concerning Persephone? Where was the warning for when Minthe got turned into a plant? Where was the warning for the entire episode that depicted Hera's trauma from Kronos and how it's still affecting her in the present? It's always either the Persephone, Hades, or Apollo focused episodes that get the trigger warnings, they couldn't care less about the violence being done onto other people in the story.

Anyways. Episode 251 opens up by reminding us, oh yeah, Kassandra exists!

Remember back in Episode 227 when Psyche stole Apollo's USB drive (and by "stole", I mean she picked it up off the ground where Apollo had conveniently dropped it?) And they found a folder with a picture of Kassandra? Well, Episode 251 opens by reminding us of her... 24 episodes later. SEVEN MONTHS OF REAL LIFE TIME, LITERALLY THE LENGTH OF BOTH THE SEASON 2 AND SEASON 3 MIDSEASON HIATUSES COMBINED-

Anyways, I guess Rachel finally figured out what she was gonna do with Kassandra after all that time, and it's... really stupid.

But wait, don't worry about that yet, because only the comic's opening reminds us of Kassandra, we gotta establish the title first and get back to that cliffhanger from before, the one that free to read users have been waiting 4 months to see.

(pay attention to the episode titles here btw, it's probably one of Rachel's lamest 3 parter title sequences yet)

Turns out Kronos is still intent on getting his hands on Hera, even though we've literally already seen Kronos haunting Hera. Is he just a ghost? A hallucination of her traumatized mind? We don't know, it never really explains itself. So Kronos is still looking for Hera.

(kinda weird that we're getting all these redrawn fullbody angles of Hades-possessed-by-Kronos choking his noodle-bodied wife who is doing literally NOTHING to actually fight back besides yelling at him, but okay.)

Turns out Hades isn't really hyped about this choking game going on between his dad and his niece wife, so he goes full on "release the beast" Naruto mode on his ass.

And that's it. That's literally the conflict resolved. The cliffhanger that free to read users were left with over the 4 month hiatus is resolved literally within a handful of panels and Hades just "believing enough" to save his wife.

And then that's just it, it cuts away, and we get this sorta awkward conversation between Persephone and Hades (now himself again) over the fact that he just choked out his wife.

The scene transitions to Hades waking up in his bed (literally that last shot of him and Persephone was it, it transitions immediately). I'm trying not to use up Tumblr's 30 image posting limit so I'm not posting the 3 fucking copy pasted panels of this that just involves Hades waking up, use your imagination lmao

There's literally no actual conversation here, no amount of Hades asking "what happened", somehow despite his possessed state he remembers everything so succinctly that he jumps right to demanding Persephone to see her neck.

(literally removed the panel of Persephone saying "Hades..." because these types of "let me do the thing" "Hades :(((" "let me do the thing" exchanges are literally just Rachel trying to hit her panel limit, once you start seeing these '3 panel' exchanges that copy paste the same shit over and over again, you can't unsee them and you realize this is why so little happens in the comic as a whole, because it's just constant repetition of dialogue and reaction panels to pad out the episodes).

And then we get what I like to call "guy in a position of power manipulating his more vulnerable partner into pitying him without actually apologizing":

No for real, I didn't cut out a single thing from this exchange aside from a couple copy pasted reaction panels, this is the entire conversation. Hades doesn't apologize, he doesn't ask Persephone if she's okay, he just pulls the "you can leave if you want toooo :(((" baiting Persephone into further trapping herself with this jackass. SHE'S the one who's stuck with HIM.

Like, obviously Hades wasn't the one who choked her, that goes to Kronos, but he doesn't even ask her if she's okay. He just looks at her moldy ass bruises and immediately goes "YOU CAN LEAVE IF YOU WANT TO I'M A MONSTER OH GOD-" and then of course she's having to comfort him which is fine but where's the balance? It's always Persephone having to comfort him and listen to his trauma and we never get Hades doing the same for her - the times we do get Persephone talking about her trauma and struggles with him, he always finds a way to make it about him.

Hades proceeds to talk more about his childhood and more of the shit he's already talked about multiple times before, I don't even need to go over it at this point.

That said, Rachel does remember to bring his stutter back. When's the last time he stuttered? 200 episodes ago ?? (literally I don't remember, it's like when he used to twist his napkins, he doesn't have these character traits consistently anymore).

THERE we go, finally some semblance of an apology. It came after more trauma dumping, but at least it's something-

Oh for fuck's sakes.

This is literally such generic "you've come so far!" motivational jargon. And it's made even worse in LO because what has Hades overcome exactly? Just a reminder, here are the things we've seen in Hades' backstory since he was rescued by his brothers:

He started a business in the Underworld that he's been operating with slave labor and profiting off ever since as a tyrannical oligarch

He entered a multi-century-long affair with his brother's wife, his own sister in law

He cost Demeter - Persephone's own mother - the role of Queen of the Mortal Realm and Persephone still does not know this.

He abused and neglected his adopted son - who was literally abandoned on his doorstep - for hundreds of years and used his role as his adopted father to guilt trip his son for getting "special treatment".

He never took responsibility for the financially dependent relationship he created between himself and a lower class nymph and tried to bribe her out of his life as soon as he fell for a 19 year old intern

HE LITERALLY FELL FOR THE 19 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER OF A WOMAN WHO HE HAD SCREWED OVER AND PRETENDED LIKE THAT WOMAN WAS IN THE WRONG FOR NOT APPROACHING HIM DURING THE EVENTS OF THE ACT OF WRATH, AND THEN HE HAD THE GALL TO PROPOSE TO HER DAUGHTER RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER WHEN SHE BASICALLY HAD NO OTHER CHOICE BUT TO SAY YES.

Everything he's legitimately had to overcome involving his trauma has gone completely ignored until pop in comes the pink cinnamon roll girl to solve all his problems and do for him what apparently even a therapist couldn't do (because haha he thinks his therapist is a hack.)

Persephone saying "look at all you've done" should be a reminder of all the crimes Hades has committed against people weaker than him, but instead it's used as a term of endearment, because Persephone literally got with him when she was 19 years old. And apparently the whole "eternally 19" thing applies to more than just her body, because even now, 10 years later, she's still lacking all the smarts and self-awareness and maturity to realize marrying this man was a mistake.

At this point Persephone isn't too naive or stupid to realize what she's gotten herself into, she's just a terrible person who's entirely complacent in Hades' bullshit and frankly, they deserve each other.

They literally keep talking about him for several more panels. Hades literally whines on and on about how much of a failure he is, how he feels like he failed the child who's trapped in Tartarus, and then of course Persephone tells him "no honey, you're the most important being in this process!" and she's LITERALLY STILL JUST TALKING ABOUT HIM, THIS WHOLE EPISODE IS PERSEPHONE TALKING ABOUT HOW WONDERFUL HADES IS, NOTHING ELSE HAPPENS. HAVE YOU NOTICED WE HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN KASSANDRA YET ?? HAVE YOU NOTICED THE COLD OPEN FOR THE EPISODE HASN'T BECOME RELEVANT YET ?? I'VE ALREADY HIT THE 30 IMAGE LIMIT AND I HAVE TO START CUTTING STUFF OUT-

Persephone and Hades talk about how they should name the interloper, but they don't come up with anything before transitioning to Leuce and Thetis.

And y'all, this has gotta be one of Rachel's worst cases of backpedaling in the entire series. You thought how she turned Leuce - Hades' first wife - into a homewrecker was bad? You thought it was absurd the plot tried to turn Leuce into Minthe 2.0?

Remember those text messages that Leuce and Hades sent between each other? The ones we never saw but kept getting alluded to? Well of course we couldn't have Hades actually text Leuce during Persephone's banishment, because then that would mean he isn't 100% loyal to his little pink cinnamon roll "qween", so what was the next best thing? Kronos possessing Hades and texting Leuce like so many people - even fans - assumed? No. It's worse.

The text messages... weren't real.

This literally makes no sense. First of all, it's once again Rachel creating drama out of "haha woman delusional!" much like she did with Minthe. But second, it literally doesn't make sense after what we've seen leading up to this.

Leuce didn't just talk about Hades texting her. She went to his office, intent on seducing him, with the knowledge of these text messages being real. She even TALKS ABOUT THESE MESSAGES WITH HADES.

But of course, they were interrupted before Hades got a chance to respond, so this was convenient enough for Rachel to try and pull off some 'twist' where she could easily absolve Hades of "cheating" on Persephone (again, the girl he only knew for like 1-2 months) but also not have to deal with the weird logic of Kronos possessing Hades just to text some random nymph.

This is absolutely one of the most absurd retcons Rachel has ever tried to pull to get herself out of the corners she writes herself into.

Now the episode is still going and FINALLY, it gets to Kassandra, after teasing her at the beginning of the episode and proceeding to do a whole lot of nothing throughout the entire thing.

This has to be one of the funniest panels in the entire comic, bar none. Rachel's gotten worse at drawing men despite making this comic for 5 years and having plenty of opportunity to improve, and he literally just looks like the fucking Amazing Bulk, haunting this poor mortal woman with his very presence.

So yeah, it turns out that the "curse" Kassandra suffers from in this "retelling" is, rather than having prophecies no one believes (or at least, if she does, we don't see that), she sees Apollo and no one believes her. Again, Rachel takes these weird liberties with the original myths that don't make a whole lot of sense all for the sake of seeming original, but whatever, Rachel hit her panel limit for the week, because that's essentially where the episode ends, with Apollo greeting Kassandra. As quickly as it was shown at the beginning of the episode, the one part of the episode actually featuring Kassandra is wrapped up in literally 7 panels.

THOUGHT VOMIT TIME

So with Episode 251 now summarized and out of the way, I really wanna talk about how this episode operates as the first FP episode after the midseason finale for free readers.

Despite the fact that it was a 4 month break and despite the fact that WT has always still released these episodes for free on schedule - with the idea that every reader will be up to date with the current content and can start fresh with a new set of FP episodes when it returns - this time around Episodes 251-253 have remained locked.

And I say Webtoons specifically because as far as I know, the creators typically don't have control over this type of decision. From what I've heard from other Originals creators, it's often WT who decides shit like coin costs, FP release dates, etc. This is why during hiatuses the numbers on the episode unlocks never actually align with their real return dates, sometimes they completely undershoot and reset, sometimes they overshoot and tell people LO is coming back in January despite the fact it's been confirmed it's coming back in November. This isn't Rachel's doing. It's clearly Webtoons trying to squeeze as much money out of this series as they can so they think the 4 month hiatus will motivate people to pay... but even the newest episode is still only sitting at 17.9k likes, which is just slightly above the average amount the FP episodes normally wind up sitting at by the time they're unlocked after 3 weeks, but this has been after four months. The hiatus of the comic and its communities absolutely put LO out of sight, out of mind.

That said, I don't know what this means for the series' return, if it'll have 6 FP episode unlocks going forward or if it'll just return with one new FP episode and Episode 251 unlocking for free readers, but holy shit, if that's the case, this is gonna be a shitty way to return from 4 months of nothing. The cliffhanger from 250 implies so much more than what it ends up being and it's, again, highlighting a fundamental issue within LO - it operates purely on a week to week basis, producing episodes on the fly, and concerning itself more with filling up its panel quota so that it can get readers from beginning to end when they can drop some new cliffhanger that likely won't lead to anything or will be completely resolved within three swipes of the next episode. Season 3 has been especially egregious with this and it's clear Rachel has run out of track to run on.

There is speculation that perhaps the reason the timing of this cliffhanger is so off is because Rachel didn't know the hiatus was going to happen and WT forced her on it. That said, it's not something anyone can really confirm besides Rachel. I wouldn't blame her for taking the time she did considering she was attending both NYCC and SDCC this past summer, and it's hard enough for her to keep up with any sort of buffer to begin with, so those conventions would have definitely resulted in episodes getting postponed anyways.

What I'm really interested in seeing is the reception when the comic returns. Hiatuses like this are brutal for traffic, it's incredibly difficult to get every single person who you started the hiatus with to return after it's done. It's not uncommon for comics to come back to only a fraction of their readerbase - and that's where the marketing comes in.

S3's return has been incredibly undermarketed. I've talked about it already but I'll mention it again here - they have done nothing to hype up LO's remaining audience for the ending of LO. Not only has the fact that the comic is even entering its final part been mentioned on either Rachel's or WT's social media pages, but the fan groups have been shut down for almost the entirety of this hiatus, shutting fans away from discussing the comic, making predictions, and just participating in their most active and direct part of the fandom. This was an absolutely absurd decision on Rachel's part, I don't know if this was her trying to shield herself from criticism or if she genuinely just doesn't give a shit about her fanbase anymore, but it's not a good thing if the only active groups to be found online during a comic's hiatus - it's final hiatus before the series ends - are the critical ones. Fans of the comic should not have to find out about its ending from me. I know I've got a way with words, but it's not fair to the long-term fans of this comic that they're being shut out by the comic's own creator, simply because she either doesn't care or is just so afraid of the critics that she'd rather hurt her relationship with her fanbase by shutting them out just to maybe shut out any critics who are nearby.

I don't know what the reasoning is and I don't know how it could have been beneficial. But that leads us to the other theory, one that I can see as plausible-

I don't think Lore Olympus was supposed to end here.

We've talked about this theory before, but to reiterate - it's been speculated for a while (prior to the news at NYCC that the comic would be ending) that S3 of LO wasn't going to be the final season as so many people had been assuming based on past info. There was no indication or marketing implying this was the final season - meanwhile webtoons like City of Blank were marketing their final seasons from day 1 of the premiere - and there were loads of new plot threads being established in S3 that we knew couldn't possibly be wrapped up by the end of the season. Case in point, it took Rachel seven months to get back to Kassandra, and while during that time she's rushed plotlines that shouldn't have been rushed (the wedding) other plotlines have proceeded to drag at a snail's pace or been dropped altogether. The speculation that S3 wasn't going to be the final season was plausible.

But now, suddenly, LO is coming to an end, likely within the next 20-30 episodes, and neither Rachel or Webtoons have said a word about it. No announcement post, no hype, no promotional art, no statement from the Webtoons VP of what to be excited for (which he's done before). It seems like they're either intentionally trying to bury it to keep people from panicking while Rachel retreats into the shadows to hide from the crimes she's committed, or they're intentionally keeping the ending of the comic unannounced so they can backpedal on it later to generate hype over it "deciding to stick around". Chances are, it'll be based on how the return of the series goes, and whether or not it's able to get the performance numbers back in the green.

I do not think it will. As I said already, hiatuses are already notorious for destroying built up traffic, especially on Webtoons where people (many of whom are teenagers and children) are conditioned to expect regular content on a schedule. But there's one other thing that's been bugging me - there hasn't been a shred of promotional art. We're currently less than a month away from the return of LO and not only are Rachel and WT being incredibly hush hush about it, but all the art Rachel has put out has been largely on her Blue Sky, where she has the smallest following, and none of it is exactly indicative of being "promotional art", rather just random sketches and doodles that she's doing on her downtime. Everything else has been promos for her books, SDCC/NYCC, of course, Rachel Smythe Presents, her next venture which she has been hyping up more than the actual return or ending of the comic that made her famous in the first place.

At this point, I'm not even fully convinced she's even started working on the next episode yet, let alone any sort of buffer. If anything, she knows that she's coming back to the series with 3 episodes still locked under FastPass, so all she'll need to technically have ready for launch is one new episode. Rachel has never been good at building buffers, not even in the beginning when she apparently started off with 2-3 episodes of buffer. Even when her comic is nearing its end, she's not learning any lessons, she's not setting herself up for success. And I'm not setting myself up for the hope that the series could possibly come back any better than it was when it left - if anything, I think we're about to see Rachel and the comic outdo itself once again on how bad it can possibly be.

And we still have two more episodes to talk about, which includes the cliffhanger for FP readers that we've been waiting four months on. Part 2 and 3 of these FP episode analyses will be going up as soon as I can get them done, ideally I'll have all three parts done before it returns so we can start off fresh with the newest episode.

Buckle up folks. Pour yourself a drink. We're gonna need it.

#lore olympus critical #lo critical #anti lore olympus #antiloreolympus #long post #essay post #tw violence #tw assault

[bonefall]

could fern leaf be a former park cat or something that clear sky sends to spy on tall shadow & then defects? or, since she’s important to the rescue of star flower in the books, maybe she could be involved with one-eye somehow…? even though star flower is totally different now, so she doesn’t really Need rescuing from any situation she’s in that you’ve talked about so far. guess it depends on which aspects of the character best serve the story, and whether she would work better as part of DOTC proper or thunder’s SE

i also genuinely can’t remember if bb!clear sky’s original M.O. for his group is Tribe Cats Only, or if he is willing to take in anyone who kisses his ass enough. could make sense if fern leaf (or more accurately, any tom willing to vouch for her) appeals to clear sky enough. hell, maybe she could be a mole on one-eye’s behalf instead?

(Follow up ask to this post)

The new rub to the formation of the groups in BB is that there is two distinct cultures in the forest: Park Cats and Tribe Cats. They're divided by a language barrier, with the Park Cats speaking Parkmew and the Tribe cats speaking what we now call Old Tribemew.

So Clear Sky doesn't have the same "options" like canon. These ""rogues"" don't speak his language and he simply would not learn even if the chance was offered to him. It doesn't even really cross his mind that these are full people to reach out to; in his mind they're intruders. The flavor of bigotry in the modern era hasn't quite evolved yet, so he has the most straightforward kind of xenophobia you can imagine.

He only starts changing his mind after the First Battle, after his revelation, when he's back on his bullshit in Thunderstar's Justice. In my head it's kind of like... a mockery of Thunder Storm's way of life, that allowed him to live in defiance of him for so long. "See, now I do what you do. Since Gray Wing approved of you so much." kinda thing

There's two park cat groups; The River Kingdom, and The Wind Coalition.

The first conflict the Sun Trail Pioneers run into is with WindCo up on the moor, who chases them down into the forest! The Park cats who lived in the forest weren't united, just various individuals that had little "homestead" territories.

The conflicts with them start after the Shadow/Sky split that follows the death of Jagged Peak. Shadow's Clan moved eastward into the caves at Snakerocks, where no one bothered them, but Sky's Clan started getting hostile towards the little homesteads and pushing cats westward, back to the River Kingdom.

SO with that recap out of the way...

I have two and a half-ish cats already that I'm heavily interested in using to turn on Clear Sky for Thunder's Clan. So I'm not sure how to slot Fern Leaf in there.

1: Snake. Snake is the only cat in-canon who said that maybe Clear Sky shouldn't be their leader after letting One Eye into the Clan against all warnings, and then he gets DOGPILED for it, and the very next book shoves him into the arms of Slash to undermine the fact that they accidentally gave him a good fucking point.

I'm RIDICULOUSLY fond of him because of this. I love him out of spite. I've spoken before about how I plan for him to be a Tribe-descended cat, and a lot of that is because I want to keep his goon roles serving Clear Sky. One of which is that he is going to badly injure Sunlit Frost in the First Battle.

So thinking about it... it makes the most sense for Snake to turn on Clear Sky in Thunderstar's Justice. Still unsure when. But if I have any roles where a cat needs to get help, stop a battle, or call Clear Sky out for making a really bad decision, it's gotta be him.

I'll keep him in my hand for a while; this feels like a piece that will fall into place.

I'm also unsure of what family he's going into. I keep waffling on it. I'm leaning towards the Claw family and possibly the son of Fox, since he's going to be living a bit longer. He's going to be about the same age as Thunder Storm, maybe a bit older.

2: Red Claw Since Acorn Fur is now Acorn Swoop, and she's not nonsensically going to go join the guy who killed both of her parents because it would be too sad to go home where they're not alive, her love interest has to end up in Thunder's Clan.

I'm already pretty committed to making Petal into Petal Claw and Fox into Fox Claw, so it follows that Red Claw would be in the family. Thinking about it, maybe Red should be the son of Fox instead...

Especially because he could defect earlier. Moth Flight's Vision is totally overhauled anyway and I'm planning to shift a lot of the original plot to something for another character anyway...

Plus, enemies-to-lovers is fun and I haven't really had a chance to do it yet. Acorn Swoop is absolutely the kind of punk who would nab one of her worst enemy's best soldiers, and the type of nerd who would frame it like her biggest catch yet.

("OI THUNDER!! LOOKIE WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN")

And most relevantly... this is leaving Fern Leaf's backstory up in the air. Him leading a dog pack into the heart of camp and getting Beech and Frog killed is what kicked off the Bunny Bones plot of the original MFV that I like so much, and I feel like it's an important part of Fern Leaf.

So not only am I here planning Red Claw as a high priority for being someone to turn against Clear Sky, but also, he complicates Fern Leaf a bit.

Maybe I should step back a bit on the two and start from scratch with them, and replace their backstories with new ones that preserve the "emotional core." I'll have to think about it.

That 1/2 Cat: Alder or Birch The kits that are stolen from Misty, that queen who was murdered by Clear Sky and whose kits are given to Petal. In BB, that's something I want to examine for how fucked up it is. It becomes the basis of Kit Stealing later, an awful practice that the Clans will struggle with for many generations.

These ones are SUPER important, but I say 1/2 because it doesn't have to be Thunder's Clan they turn for. But I do want one of them to eventually learn their origin, and end up finding their family in River Kingdom or the Wind Coalition.

I mention them because I keep going back and forth on if they're going to get combined with other characters. Basically imagine me next to a big conspiracy chart and I'm connecting a big red line between possible plot threads back to Fern Leaf. Maybe her? Maybe she can be one of the stolen kits?

I could even make it so Birch is actually an older sibling, or a half-sibling, or one from the same litter who was saved... maybe even end up making it a litter of 4. Slots in well with her canon story, too, where she mentions her mother abandoned her.

The truth can be that it was a lie. Her mother didn't abandon her. One of them was murdered and the other was chased off.

And, of course, I could save her to be a "One Eye Cultist." None of my drafts so far have brought in any extra followers of One Eye who will follow him from place-to-place besides Star Flower herself. I would like to add some, and that's a fine place for Fern Leaf, but somehow I feel like I can do her better.

#better bones au #BB!DOTC #BB!Fern Leaf #also for the record I am both Very sorry and Not sorry that-- #--Acorn Swoop ended up changing so much from her mild-toned canon counterpart lmaooo #My lover showed me a clip of a british TV show with a character called Vyvyan ranting about bad sitcoms #RIGHT around the time I first designed her #Because I was yelling about the original arc and partner was like ''this is u (affectionate)'' #And somehow that evolved into an inside joke about Acorn Swoop and now I cannot unhear it #''being hungry makes me lose my easygoing approach to living with other cats'' #(THROWS A MOLOTOV AT SKY'S CLAN)

[wasted-women]

ROUND 1B, MATCH 3 OUT OF 8!

Cause of Death & Propaganda Under the Cut:

Sky Young

Cause of Death: Disintegrated while attempting to save her friend/crush

Propaganda:

She literally only exists to be fridged, which is a shame because her death by probably the void would have made her an excellent tie-in champion for League. But no, she just gets dusted for Viktor’s character arc.

Her death was pointless aside from making Viktor feel guilty. Her whole character was that a) the was a brilliant scientist and b) that she was in love with Viktor and he didn't know. He was pursing dangerous magic for himself, and it's shown that the magic wouldn't have even killed him because he's now connected to it (through choice!). Sky died trying to save him from something that wouldn't have even killed him. Her death was literally just to make Viktor realise that the magic was bad/dangerous. Even though it clearly already was, but now it really is.

Princess Allura

Cause of Death: Sacrificed herself to save the universe

Propaganda:

The show has so so so many issues, but taking the black female lead and reducing her to a love interest and then killing her???? I never even got to the finale (bailed on the show seasons before) but I am still so fucking mad about this

The first case of fridging that many young girls saw.

Pyrrha Nikos

Cause of Death: Turned into dust after being defeated in battle

Propaganda:

Badass, powerful, beautiful. A warrior of virtue who tried to do the right thing. Was willing to risk having her entire personality overwritten in order to protect the world even though it scared her and conflicted with her ideals and concept of destiny. Everyone looked up to her. She was kind. She was smart. She was strong. She was one of the best characters in the show. And ever since she died, her death has only ever been brought up when it pertains to how it affects the one blond haired blue eyed author insert. Pyrrha deserved so much better.

There was SOOOOOOO much good build-up for Pyrrha's death. Like she's literally ACHILLES. With her trying to decide whether she should sacrifice herself to become the maiden or not and then when she finally decides to but it's taken away from her at last second when Cinder comes and kills Amber. How that contributes to her decision to fight Cinder even though it's certain suicide; that's sort of what she wants. She thinks she should have died before so she's going to fight Cinder to the death. And her final battle and ultimate death!!!! But then after her death happens we only see it in the lens of JAUNE. Like to an extent I get it because Jaune was close to her and he was the last person to talk to her. Him melting down the gold in her armor for his armor is a good moment. BUT ONLY JAUNE??? Volume 4 onwards, the only time we see any main character grieve it's always Jaune. RUBY LITERALLY IS THE MAIN CHARACTER AND THE PERSON WHO WITNESSED PYRRHA'S DEATH but she is barely given any screentime grieving!!! It's all Jaune and his manpain and how he is sad that she is gone and how they loved each other and it's like God give me a break. Even Pyrrha and Jaune's other teammates, Ren n Nora, never are given any screentime to grieve besides a quick second after Jaune looks at Pyrrha's statue. They don't even have a real good conversation about how fucked it was that Ozpin's team put Pyrrha in the situation that made her so suicidal in the first place other than outright dismissing it. For a show that loves to dissect and criticize Ozpin and his decisions they really didn't come back to that. Can a death retroactively become fridging? Because that's what this is.

#wasted women poll #round 1 #round 1b #sky young #arcane #arcane: league of legends #pyrrha nikos #rwby #princess allura #allura #voltron #voltron: legendary defender #poll bracket #poll tournament #character polls #polls

[hookhausenschips]

Can I get a HOOK x reader? I recently just got a buzzcut since my hair was too much to manage and my coils were tiring the fuck outta me... I guess I just wanted to get an imagine of HOOK coming home to the reader and seeing how flawless they look with out natural coils or braids for the first time..?

Anon! Oh my gosh, as someone who shaved off their curls for the first time back in 2019 and then again at the end of last year this made my heart swell!! All the love to you darling, I hope you enjoy this!

Warnings: slight suggestive content, some insecure/anxiety thoughts, Hook is a horndog but he's so in love with his girl.

Word Count: 1,626

Y/N’S POV

There I stood in the bathroom of mine and Tyler’s shared apartment staring at myself, a random r&b playlist playing in the background. I felt conflicted, my hair had always been a huge part of my identity but also made me feel so empowered. From the countless natural styles I could do to the protective styles and the different colors that crowned my head. But I was tired. Tired of the long hours of some wash days and the endless hours of styling. I wasn’t happy with my hair anymore. The supplies I needed laid there around the sink, a trash can beside me on the floor. They say that hair holds energy and trauma inside of the strands.

Getting rid of these beautiful coils would be the start to a new chapter, a new me. But what if Tyler hated what he sees? Would he still want to be together? He was in love with my hair, spending so much money on the supplies needed for its upkeep. He even enjoyed going to the beauty supply stores to help pick out hair for my next style. On wash days when he wasn’t on the road he always wanted to help out, whether with the detangling process or the wash itself. I had let him help out once in a while enjoying the feel of his gentle hands against my scalp, he was always so attentive to the processes. It also felt nice to not have the full overwhelming pressure on my shoulders those days.

I shake my head ridding those negative thoughts, he would love this change. He’s proved he loves all of me many times, in many different ways. Sighing I pick up the scissors and look at them then at my reflection. Yes my hair might be a part of my identity but it wasn’t the full thing. I grab a section of hair and cut. Cut, cut, cut, and cut until it was short enough I could use the clippers.

Staring at myself in the mirror I felt tears well up in my eyes, yes of course I have worn short hair but this image… This person looking back at me looked gorgeous. She looked free. I wiped my eyes then plugged in the clippers. My hands were shaking. ‘Come on y/n you’ve come this far already you can do this’ I think to myself. Taking a deep breath I guide the clippers down the middle of my head. I place my hand on my mouth in shock. I really just did that. I just shaved a part of my head. No going back now. I guide the clippers back to my head and continue until the curls were gone. 

After cleaning up the bathroom and showering to get the extra hair off I stand in the same spot I was mere minutes ago. I smile, turning my head in different directions and looking at the new me. I run my hands over the top of my head, the feeling of stubble a foreign feeling but not one I hated.

But it didn’t feel quite like me. I grab my phone and call my aunt who happened to work at the barbershop down the road. “Hey Auntie, do you have any openings right now?” I asked once she answered. “I actually do. Tyler finally letting me tame that lion’s mane of his?” She asked. I paused and looked back at my reflection, “It’s for me actually.” I say. I could sense her grinning through the phone, “Come on in and we can talk alright?” She asked. I agreed and told her I would be there soon, hanging up after we said our goodbyes. I ran into the bedroom to change and then I was out the door after slipping my shoes on.

I pull Tyler’s jacket tighter around me. The New York cold was a different cold that I had yet to get used to even though he and I had lived together for two years now. Finally reaching the barbershop, the bell jingled indicating my arrival. I greeted my aunt’s coworkers before she came out the back hearing my voice. “So what’s up my darling? New braids? Or what about locs finally?” She asked as she guided me to her station. I smiled slightly at her, “Actually I was thinking something else.” I say then pull the hood off my head and set my bonnet on my lap.

The whole shop gasped knowing how much I loved my hair. My aunt’s grin grew, “Ah so you finally decided to join the club?” She said while running a hand along her shaved head. I smiled back nodding. “So what were you thinking? Making it blonde or maybe a design?” She questioned as she wrapped the cape around my neck and pumped the chair to lift it. “A design please. I don’t think I’m that edgy right now to bleach it.” I replied. She nodded as we discussed the design I wanted then she got to work.

Now I felt a lot more like myself seeing the design that graced the right side of my head. I hugged my aunt and paid her then said my goodbyes to everyone in the shop before heading out. Tyler was due to be home later on tonight so that gave me enough time to get some things from the store to make us dinner. I arrive back home setting the groceries on the counter and look at the clock above the stove, 6:24 pm. Only an hour left until he was home. I begin to take everything out of the bags and get busy cooking.  

“Baby?!” I hear as I set the pasta to low. I grin and rush to the front door. He dropped his bags as I jumped into his arms. “Hey babygirl.” I heard him whisper as he hugged me tighter to him. “Hey there champ.” I reply before pulling back, placing my hands on his face and pulling him to kiss me. He smiled into the kiss and began walking towards the kitchen, setting me on the island as we continued to kiss. I pull away and smile as he whines and he tries to follow my lips.

“Continue this later, I know you’re starving. And I have a surprise for you later.” I say as I go to move off the counter but I was stopped. “I got something else in my mind for dinner.” He said as his hands skimmed along my thighs. Oh how tempting he was. I shook my head and pushed him back slightly and moved to the stove, “Keep it in your pants, Senerchia.” I heard him huff a fine before helping set the table so we could eat. 

After finishing dinner and doing the dishes Tyler and I were cuddled up on the couch looking for something to watch. “So what is this surprise you have for me baby?” He asked while still looking at the tv. I felt my heart begin to hammer against my ribcage, the thoughts from earlier making a reappearance. He was going to find out sooner or later. I sit up and he looks at me. “Close your eyes. No peeking.” I tell him as he sits up as well. He smirks as he closes his eyes, “KInda kinky. You got a blindfold and handcuffs?” I roll my eyes and mutter, “Such a horndog.” Then I take off my bonnet and grab my phone, turning on the camera to see how I look.

Perfect, I smile. I could feel him beginning to get impatient, “Can I look yet?” He whined. “Yeah, open your eyes baby.” I whisper as my eyes stay trained on his face. His beautiful eyes opened and they trail from my clothes clearly not seeing a certain surprise he thought it would be. Then they trail up to my head. They widen in shock. “Baby…” He trails off, fully taking in the image of me in front of him. 

I smile slightly at him, “So what do you think?” I ask. At first he doesn’t answer, still entranced by the sight of my curls now gone. “Tyler?” I questioned again. Still no answer. Those thoughts from earlier today settled into my head tenfold. Before I could speak again he pulled me onto his lap and into a kiss. I melted into it as it turned messy. I pulled away after a few more seconds, “So?” I ask looking down at him, smoothing his hair back from his eyes. He gave a smile, “You look sexy. Not even that, I bet if I pulled open a dictionary you would be on every page with the synonyms of that word.” He spoke, his eyes shining with so much love and adoration. I giggle, “I think you mean a thesaurus babe.” He continued looking at me, “Yeah whatever you know what I meant. Can I feel it?” He asked.

Always so respectful asking to touch my hair even now when I barely had any, I nod. “Woah.” He muttered as his hands felt along my head. Then he smirked, “Shame, I will miss your hair since it was what I used to pull you to me when I hit it from the back. I guess this just gives me a reason to choke you more.” “Tyler Cole Senerchia, you absolute dog!” I gasped and hit his chest jokingly. His laughter filled the room as a smile graced my face. Safe to say he loved your new style putting those pessimistic thoughts out of your head. He made sure to show how much he loved it later on that night and every day after that.

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[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

Hey, I'm a trans (FTM) adult who isn't in the financial/mental place to move out from my parents' home. I told my dad I want to start testosterone soon and he was supportive. My mom, on the other hand, is very transphobic and she's not on board whatsoever (she's also extremely stubborn and won't change her mind). Should I start hormones anyway because at least one of my parents is supportive? Or, should I wait until I can move out?

(Side-note: I know my mom wouldn't kick me out if I did start T.)

Lee says:

Your well-being is the most important thing. Your mental health matters more than appeasing your transphobic mom! If starting testosterone is a crucial step for your mental and emotional health, it’s essential to prioritize it. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to start ASAP, but it does means having a plan to start, even if that plan involves moving out.

Having the support of your father is useful-- let him know if you need him to be a buffer between you and your mother, and ask him to stand up for you if she crosses the line from "unsupportive" to "verbally abusive". If he's okay with you starting T, he can help you to present your case with your mother.

Maintaining open, honest, and respectful dialogue is the only thing you can do to try and help your mom understand your choices. Sometimes people surprise you and change-- even if it takes years to happen.

But even if your mom is stubborn and never understands, if you express your feelings, experiences, and needs clearly, and tried to listen to her concerns and fears and address them, at least you'll know that you did all that you can to try and reach out to her and you won't have any regrets about not having tried harder to salvage the relationship.

Sometimes, providing educational resources and answering questions can alleviate some concerns, so if she's willing, having her speak to another cisgender mom who is supportive of their young adult on testosterone can help, and you can try providing her with the meeting times for your local PFLAG chapter or other parent support group.

Remember, this is your journey, and it’s important to make decisions that align with your needs, values, and well-being. The things I may choose to prioritize may not make sense for your current situation. While I would personally lean towards the "fuck around and find out" type of approach to starting T without your mom's support since you are an adult and aren't concerned about losing your housing, that can also backfire if you're living in a place where you don't feel safe.

Even if you think that your mom wouldn’t kick you out, it’s essential to assess all the risks involved thoroughly, including the risk to you emotionally. You have to weigh the positive impact of starting T and feeling more comfortable in your body (which can help with depression) with the potential impact on your mental and emotional health due to possible increased tension or conflict at home (which can make depression worse).

While you're going through this, getting support from a mental health professional or counselor can be literally life-saving, especially if you already struggle with mental illness. A therapist who has a lot of experience with trans clients can provide guidance, support, and resources to help you and your family navigate this journey. They can also facilitate family discussions, and it can be helpful to have them "referee" tough conversations with your mom-- sometimes having a third party witness helps people to reign in their behavior so it don't get too out of hand.

If you're not in the mental place you need to be to move out, therapy (whether it's one-on-one meetings with an individual therapist or an intensive outpatient group program) might also help with getting the stability you need to be ready to live more independently.

Building a support network outside your family can also help give you an outlet when things are rough at home. Connecting with friends, support groups, or organizations that understand and support your journey can help you get through the tough times.

Everyone says "it gets better" for a reason, but sometimes it gets worse before it gets better. It can be hard to start medically transitioning because you might find changes don't happen as quickly as you had hoped, and there's often a point when you're more "visibly trans" but not yet passing 100% of the time which can make you feel even more self-conscious when it comes to things like using a gendered locker room at the local gym when you don't know whether people in either room might complain to the front desk about someone of the "Wrong" gender being in there.

Even though moving out isn’t an immediate option, it can help to think of developing a plan for eventual independence as part of your transition too. Working, saving money, exploring housing options, learning how to "Adult" and get health insurance, etc, are all things that can move you closer to your goal of transitioning, especially if you decide to wait to start T until after you've moved out.

It can really help to break things into tiny steps (like spending a certain amount of time per day job hunting or aiming to save up a target amount) remember that you not only have a goal but also a plan and a path to get there and achieve that goal.

Personally, I would probably chose to start T, but I'm not you. If you've been ruminating on this for a while and still can't decide what to do, making a simple pro/con T-chart can help sometimes. If that doesn't work, and you've talked it over with your dad to get his opinion, and asked your friends, and you're still not sure, then maybe it's time to consult a therapist again-- they can really help with the emotional side of this type of decision-making. But in the end, it's up to you.

Good luck!! I believe in you!!!

Followers, any advice for anon?

#Lee says #unsupportive family #testosterone #trans #transgender

[thursdayinspace]

Recommending The X-Files to someone who hasn't seen it can be a challenge, because there are so many reasons to watch it. Yeah, it's about monsters and aliens and conspiracies and two very attractive people. But I think at its core, it stays relevant because it conveys so many timeless messages:

Be yourself. To me, that is a central lesson to take away from the show. There is Mulder: smart, well-educated, and with the chance to pursue a great and successful career in the FBI. But what drives him is his search for the truth, a truth that nobody else believes in. He sits in a basement office, people call him 'Spooky,' nobody takes him seriously. He even refers to himself as "the FBI's most unwanted." He's making a joke, but he's not joking. He's well aware of his reputation and still chooses his own path, the one he believes in. From the beginning, he is unapologetically himself. And that is what makes us love him.

The same is true for Scully. She doesn't believe what Mulder believes. She's a scientist and she remains one. And she doesn't have to stay in that basement with Mulder. She knows his reputation and knows it will become hers as well if she stays. Staying won't gain her any respect among her peers and it won't advance her career, but it's what she wants to do. She may not agree with Mulder's theories and challenges them with science, but she believes in the work. She is who she is, and that proves to be the best thing for their success as well as their partnership.

They both doubt themselves, repeatedly. But they always come back to who they are. And that self-doubt is so very relatable, which, paradoxically, is exactly what makes watching them so encouraging: it's impossible to go through life never doubting yourself, but if you are true to yourself, you might be amazed at what you can achieve.

Hang in there. There are obstacles in their way that seem really fucking impossible to overcome. The fight they're fighting seems like it's already lost so, so many times. They are only two people, up against a corrupt system and conspiracies of truly giant magnitude. They wouldn't even need an excuse to give up; it would be only too understandable if they did. But they don't.

And they don't win every fight. They lose a lot of the time, and they face great personal losses on top of that. But there is always something left that keeps them going. They look for it, and they find it. And it's worth it.

Everyone knows the feeling that there is simply no point to anything anymore. But Mulder and Scully say that there is. Mulder and Scully want you to get out of bed in the morning, because there's always something that's worth the effort, even if it takes you a while to see it. Listen to them! It may not always be apparent in the moment, but that doesn't mean it isn't there.

"Nobody gets there alone" is such a popular theme throughout the show -- especially Mulder has a tendency to go off on his own in the beginning, and always realises pretty quickly that he needs Scully with him if he wants to solve their case. Whether they need each other to argue out their conflicting theories or whether they just need someone to be there and listen and offer support, they can't do it without each other.

They help each other through everything. They are a shoulder to cry on for each other, and they are there for each other to share the good things. Just one example that kicks me in the feelings every time is the cancer arc, where it's not just Scully who needs Mulder for support, it is also Mulder who needs Scully. Because her diagnosis pulls the rug right out from under his feet.

Going through hell is easier with someone else by your side, and they prove that time and time again. The message is clear: don't feel like you have to shoulder everything alone. Trust that someone else wants to be there for you. And sometimes, meet up at night to teach them how to play baseball. Being there for each other also means having fun together.

Love is strength. That seems like an obvious one, but it's so complex. They love each other, yes. Deeply. But what do we, as an audience, take away from that? The most important point seems to me that love comes in many forms, and that loving someone and letting yourself be loved gives you a reason to hold on even when you think you can't. At the beginning of season 2 when they're separated, they still have each other's backs. They need things fixed not only for themselves, but for each other.

Mulder and Scully do not admit one of the ways in which they love each other for a long time. And yet they express their deep affection for each other in so many other ways, whether it's simply listening, or going completey insane with worry when one of them is in trouble.

It doesn't always matter what we call 'love.' What's important is that we let people in. That we let them close. Don't hold people at arm's length because you don't know what you might miss. Do small and simple things for each other. Hug someone. Encourage them to believe in themselves. Take them seriously. Let them know that you care about them. It means the world.

Trust someone. A recurring phrase in the show is "trust no one," but what it always comes down to is that the opposite is what helps us stay afloat. We need each other to survive. We all feel alone and like nobody understands what we're going through. We have thoughts that seem too weird or too personal to share, even though we desperately want to talk about them.

Mulder's theories are wild to the extreme. And the story about his sister and his trauma connected to that is such a private thing. But he tells Scully, and that doesn't make it go away, but he's no longer alone with it. They cry in front of each other. They can let go around each other. That's why it hits so hard when Scully thinks Mulder betrayed her in 'Wetwired' -- that is one of her deepest fears, and shows how important it is for them to know they're on the same side and have each other's backs.

The world is too much for any of us to take on alone, but baring your soul to someone is scary. However, whatever emotional baggage we're carrying and no matter how heavy it is, sometimes it gets a little lighter, even for just a moment, when somebody tells us we're not alone.

In the end what it all comes down to is that if we believe in ourselves and in each other, we can do it. What we can take away from it is hope, encouragement to never stop asking the big questions, and the belief that if we overcome our differences and love each other for who we are, we can achieve anything. That is what the show is all about. And that is why it never gets old.

#the x files #txf #x files #mulder and scully #I have so many feelings about this show #and it always feels so inadequate to say 'because it's good' when you want to convince someone to watch it #it really is timeless #the reasons to love it are endless #I mean. I could go on. #and on #and on and on #but this is the essence of it for me

[galacticgraffiti]

✧⭒・ Liberation (2)・⭒✧

!!! NSFW / 18+ / MINORS DNI !!!

Pairing: Elia Kane x f!reader

Rating: Explicit (in short sequences) Wordcount: 3.7k CW: moral conflict, obviously Elia is ex-empire, lusting after The Enemy™, exposition for smut with some explicit lines.

A/N: Huge thanks and kissies for @baba-fett for beta-ing and being a generally sweet and wonderful and awesome human. Your comments make my day every time ♥

✦⋆ Main Masterlist ⋆✦

༻༺༻⋆༺༻⋆༺༻ ⋆✦⋆ ༺༻⋆༺༻⋆༺༻༺

Liberation

Chapter 2: The Temptation

When Elia enters her room the next week, you are prepared. You dwelled long on the question whether it would be weird to invite her to leave the compound this weekend. Whether it would be inappropriate.

Your boss has nodded this plan off, of course. They may not exactly believe you when you say Elia is plotting something - then again, at this point, neither are you - but they still trust your judgement. You have very rarely been wrong, and besides- what is it to them even if you are? You are not getting paid for this part. Your boss made it very clear that if you were to take Elia off the compound, that would have to happen on your own time and on your responsibility. They let you know in no uncertain terms that they don’t want the business tied to anything in case things go sideways with this little experiment.

And you are very okay with that. Otherwise, asking Elia out would have felt even stranger. Not that you’re asking her out. Except, kind of…

You are cleaning, going through your prepared speech in your head over and over again when Elia steps in, fingers pressed to her temples, her beautiful face a grimace of pain.

“Headache?” you ask sympathetically. Fuck. Already off-script.

“Mh.” She shrugs, then hisses as the flaring pain in her head. “Bad one.”

She doesn’t say anything else, but by now, you know that her being so short has nothing to do with you. She has asked you to stay time and time again, every time you offered to leave to give her a break. You don’t know why, but she seems to want you here. Even when she is in the worst of states.

Elia smiles a small smile at you as she picks up the glass of water you got ready for her. It has become a ritual - you prepare it every week, she drinks it every week, no matter how she is feeling. You try not to watch the bobbing of her throat, or the little drops that run down her chin as she downs the drink like she was parched for weeks. You want to wipe the drops away before they fall. Kiss them if she lets you-

Elia steps over to the bed, grunting as she pulls off her overshirt. You can feel the heat rising to your cheeks, and quickly avert your eyes. It’s not like she is naked or anything, but the sudden baring of skin makes your heart stumble. Elia doesn’t notice, she just slumps into bed.

You look her over as she lies there, thumbs pressed into her eye-sockets, chest rising and sinking as she breathes through the pain. 

Your suspicions that she could be lying about the headaches had been thrown overboard long ago. No one can fake that well. You’d know.

Elia moves, forearms draping across her face as if she can’t bear even the dim light of the afternoon inside her tiny cubicle flat. Of course, you notice the way her shirt strains over the thick cords of muscle in her arms, but you try not to pay too much attention. Not to the bulge of her bicep when she shifts, or the tendons in her strong forearms. Not to the thin sheen of sweat, or the way you can see the blue of her veins through pale skin; not to the weaknesses in the strong facade that make up Elia Kane.

In spite of yourself, you are genuinely concerned about her. She does not look well, and this has been going on for weeks. You wonder if some days, she comes home like this even when you are not here. Your stupid heart hates that thought.

You clear your throat awkwardly.

“Rest for a bit, alright?” Your voice is much softer than you intend. Off-script. Unprofessional. Well, fuck it. All or nothing. “I’ll wake you up before I leave if you want?”

Elia’s hands fly away from her eyes. Her shockingly golden stare meets your own. You are never prepared for the colour of her eyes - so much warmer than you ever expect. 

Slowly, she nods, then hisses when her headache begins to pulsate behind her eyes. You grimace at her pain and wish you could do more than just stand there.

Elia closes her eyes and smiles.

“Okay,” she says quietly. “I’d like that.”

***

Elia rests. You clean. Nothing feels unusual, except for the fact that words burn on the tip of your tongue.

I got vetted for you. I got permission for you. We can leave the compound and do whatever we want. I’ll take you out for real food. I know you like the red ration biscuits, because you collect them in the back of your closet, but I know a dessert place that’s even better than those. Let’s make new memories, ones without the shadow of the Empire. Let’s go to the gardens together this weekend. Come to the gardens with me, Elia.

You scold yourself for being a useless fucking romantic. And for the fact that it’s Elia Kane of all people that you hear yourself saying these words to. Elia Kane, right hand to Moff Gideon. Elia Kane, with a list of war crimes tacked to her pristine imperial uniform that’s longer than your entire arm. Elia Kane who snores in her sleep and gets headaches that make you want to take care of her more than you have ever taken care of anyone. Stars, you’re a fool.

A fool for love.

You tell your brain to shut up.

Elia’s unit isn’t tiny, but it’s not big either. It has a small kitchen that Elia keeps spotless. You can’t tell if she ever cooks, but you like to imagine that she does. Something about the image of her, twirling a spoon between her long fingers feels right to you.

There’s a windowless refresher. A double bed that’s only a few feet away from the entrance. Everything is kept in quiet, neutral colours: Beiges and sands, earthy tones. Neutral, but not sterile. Whoever equipped this room took great care not to make it feel like imperial architecture. 

As you clean, you quietly wonder whether Elia Kane has a favourite colour. Whether she carved out time to develop a personal taste. Neither the Empire nor the Amnesty programme seem like the types of organisation that would particularly inspire a sense of interior design. You ponder whether Elia would paint the walls a different colour if she was allowed to.

You try to imagine her reaction to your own tiny, cramped flat on the surface of Coruscant. Better than most people have it - you get actual sunlight for about a half hour each day. And it’s actually pretty quiet. The bars tend to be located on the lower levels, and the traffic is worst mid-air, not on the surface. The surface feels oddly peaceful, unless you happen to look up. You wonder if Elia would like your taste in decorations, if she’d ask about your keepsakes the way you’d like to ask about hers.

What about that Twi’lek centrefold is so appealing that you broke imperial laws to take her on a ship with you? What do the red biscuits actually taste like? How did you grow up? Is this Coruscant different from the one you remember? What happened that made you join the Empire? How do you sleep at night?

There are a million questions that you would like to ask her. None of them have anything to do with what your work tells you to find out. Most of them you could look up in her file, but you want to hear it from her. You want to look at her beautiful face while she explains the reasons behind killing hundreds and thousands and millions, and maybe you won’t be so infatuated with her anymore.

***

When you finish cleaning, Elia looks so peaceful that the thought of waking her up seems unbearable. Quietly, you sit down in her chair and look around the room. Watching her sleep intentionally is different than catching glimpses of her sleeping while you are focused on your tasks. It feels more… personal. You try to focus on anything else but her, stretched out on the bed.

Elia’s foot twitches. She snores just a little, and you can see her eyes moving behind her closed lids. She feels so human that you pinch yourself. This is not what you are here for. By the gods, you have to pull yourself together. You grimace at yourself and your stupid, fluttering heart that focuses on the shadows that her lashes cast on her cheeks, on the rosiness of her upper lip, on the messiness of her hair and the roughness of her fingertips.

Stars. You shake your head at yourself and sigh quietly. You’re so stupid. A stupid, stupid fool, falling in love with the villain of the galaxy’s history just because she’s so pretty that you think a touch of her lips might send you to heaven.

Stupid.

Shaking your head again to rid yourself of the thoughts that haunt you, you start to hum as you gather your cleaning utensils together. You try to create casual clattering to wake Elia gently and naturally. It doesn’t work. She’s fast asleep, eyes still rolling behind closed lids. You clear your throat quietly, then louder. Elia does not stir.

Well, fuck.

You cough. You knock over a broom and let it clatter to the ground. Elia does not stir.

You struggle with yourself for a bit before you step up to the side of her bed. Reaching out and gently putting your hand on her shoulder feels forbidden, and you hate the small shiver that runs through you when you feel the heat of her body beneath your fingers.

“Mhh.” It’s a small sound that Elia makes, barely audible.

You pull back your hand as if you’d burned yourself.

“Elia,” you whisper, crouching down. There’s no reaction.

Carefully, you reach out again, laying each finger down gently as if she could break if you touched her too fast. You can’t help yourself but let the hand run down her arm, your fingers ghosting over her bare skin. She stirs.

Her eyes open before you can pull back, a shock of molten gold in her freckled face. Gods, she has freckles. You never noticed that before. 

You bite your lip and go entirely still, your hand frozen on Elia’s upper arm.

“Better view than I usually get when I wake up.” Elia’s voice is rough with sleep, but she hasn’t lost that lopsided smirk. Her teeth look sharp behind her full, soft lips.

You can feel the heat rising to your cheeks at her unabashed words. Hastily, you stumble back. Elia’s smile grows broader, showing more of her sharp, pearl-white teeth. She chuckles, her smile growing even bigger at the heat you can feel in your cheeks. You just know that she can tell exactly how embarrassed you are.

That thought makes you frown. You’re embarrassed, and she’s laughing at you. That’s the kind of person that your foolish heart has chosen to fall in love with. She has done so much worse, but for a second, you get hung up on this tiny little thing: Her laughing in your face as you want to sink into the ground for ever laying a finger on her.

“I have to go,” you say abruptly, standing up and turning on your heel.

There’s the rustle of bedsheets behind you, the commotion of a body moving fast. Before you can take the few steps to the doorway, Elia plants herself in front of you, sleep still dripping from her eyes. It doesn’t make her less beautiful. You curse yourself for noticing.

“Leaving so soon?” she asks and cocks her head, golden eyes full of concern.

She’s way too close to you.

“I’ve finished,” you answer nonchalantly, although her presence makes it hard to breathe.

Elia’s eyes flick up and down your body. She runs her hand through her hair and leans against the doorframe. You can’t help the way your gaze follows every single one of her movements. She moves so smoothly, with the attitude of someone who has never cared what people think.

That thought irks you. It can’t be true. You don’t rise in the Empire’s ranks if you don’t care what your superiors think. The Empire was all about rule compliance, about fitting into moulds, about fulfilling expectations.

And maybe that is it - maybe the freedom from the strict rules of the Empire have given her this confidence. Maybe she too is glad to be free. Maybe she has changed.

Maybe she has changed.

Elia still watches you like a predator watching its prey. You don’t mind it as much as you should. In fact, you don’t mind it at all.

What you do mind is the sudden urge to press your thighs together, the need to reach out and touch her sharp jawline, to lean forward and kiss her. To feel her sharp teeth sink into your bottom lip. To tell her how pretty she looks right now, and see her blush.

How could the gods make something so beautiful and let it be evil?

“Stay.” Elia’s tone doesn’t fit the look in her eyes. Her voice is soft - nearly a plea. Fragile and vulnerable. If she were anyone else, she would have said please.

“Why?” You have been wondering that for weeks. Why does she allow you to see her in her most vulnerable state? Why did she not send you away, why does she keep coming back when she knows you will be here?

“Because.” There is a break so long that you almost think this is all the answer you will get. Then, Elia breathes in sharply and the words stumble over her tongue faster than you can process them. “Because you remind me that this is real. That reality is here. That the Em- that I’m on my own now, that I won’t go back. That there is nothing to go back to. You’re real, and so this must be real too.”

Her hand shoots out, and you don’t find it in you to flinch away when she places her hand on your cheek.

“You’re real,” she mumbles again, her thumb caressing your skin. It sounds more like a reminder to herself, and her eyes look into a past you can’t follow, staring straight through you even as she holds you so gently.

You don’t trust your voice, so you just nod. Elia closes her eyes and lets out a deep, shuddering breath. When she opens them again and you are still here, she smiles.

“Stay,” she says again. This time, some of her confidence sneaks back into her voice. Less of a plea, more of a command. You can’t resist her.

“Okay,” you sigh.

As suddenly as she touched you, she now ceases to. Your cheek burns where her hand was only seconds ago.

“I’ll make us a cup of tea,” she says abruptly, squeezing past you to stalk into her tiny kitchen area. Your whole body is aflame where she brushed against you. You wish your shirt was short-sleeved like hers - even the touch of her arm against yours would be better than nothing.

Clattering from the kitchen is the only thing grounding you in reality as your mind daydreams about what it would be like to be allowed to touch Elia Kane: The softness of her skin, the ripple of scars beneath your fingers. The sounds you wish you would get to hear her make.

Your fingers curl into a fist until your nails dig into your palm, bringing you back to a reality where she is not yours to touch.

Without anything to do, you stand around feeling useless, until you finally decide to take a seat on the singular chair in the corner. Sitting on Elia’s bed would feel… odd. Like an invitation. And you want it to be one, gods do you want it to be an invitation to touch you and kiss you and do absolutely unspeakable things to you.

But Elia doesn’t know that; Elia is simply making tea.

You daydream about stepping behind her, wrapping your arms around her middle. About her raising your hand to her soft lips to kiss it, about being lifted onto the counter, and how it would feel if she kissed her way up your thighs. If she would tease you, or if the hunger sits as deep as it does in you.

Moments later, a steaming mug is placed beside you. Elia sits down on the edge of her bed right across from you, one hand wrapped around her own mug. It’s impossible that she knows what you have been thinking about, and yet, something in the way her lip curls seems to say exactly that.

I know what you daydream of.

Neither of you says anything for a long time. You don’t know how to start, and somehow, despite all her confidence, you suddenly realise that it’s quite likely that Elia has never made friends with anyone.

The silence grows so loud that you say the first words that come into your mind.

“Come to the gardens with me.”

There is a beat where Elia looks at you without understanding.

“I can’t go. I can’t leave my designated perimeter without-”

“-someone who has been vetted to accompany you? Yeah, you mentioned that.”

You smile at her, and watch the realisation sink in.

“You’re-” you never thought that you would see Elia lost for words, but here she is, stumbling and stuttering like a youngling. “You got approval for me?”

For her.

The words hit you right in the belly. Because it is, of course it is. This is not for you, or for work, no matter what you tell yourself. This is for her.

She mentions just once how much she misses the smell of real flowers, and you do all this. For her.

You’re a lost fucking cause. You know it as soon as you look into eyes made of liquid metal, shimmering and soft. You’re lost to Elia Kane.

“Yeah. I got approved for you.” You blink once, twice. Averting your eyes is impossible - you are trapped and lost. Elia shows no other reaction than a tremble in her cheek, so you repeat your offer. “Come to the gardens with me. I want to show you around.”

There is another moment of silence, then a hand with long, soft fingers finds yours. A smile appears on Elia’s face, not the small smirk that you usually get to see. A rare smile, a real one, that lights up the boring apartment and sneaks its way into your heart as if she hadn’t already been nestled inside.

“Are you asking me out, pretty girl?”

The compliment flows through you like warm honey. Your hand shakes slightly as you run a finger up her arm, following the veins under paper thin skin.

“I… guess so. Yeah.”

Elia’s breath is warm on your face when she leans in, only inches away from your lips, and mumbles.

“Good. Because eating you out without taking you out first would really be a shame.”

༻༺༻⋆༺༻⋆༺༻ ⋆✦⋆ ༺༻⋆༺༻⋆༺༻༺

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We're leading up to the spice slowly and then all at once. I'm so excited about this fic, I haven't felt this inspired in a while! Leave some love in the comments ❥

@cyarbika @deewithani @ficsbynight @kote-wan @ariadnes-red-thread @rescuethewretched @twistedstitcher27 @kakashibabe02 @writingbylee @purgetrooperfox @basilbumble @witchklng @lackofhonor @ashotofspotchka @sailor-blossom @misogirl828 @amyroswell @darkjedipoptarts @pinkiemme @sleepingsun501 @fett-djarin @samanthacookieone @tortor-mcgee @corrabell @lady--kenobi @elegantduckturtle @felinaone

@palpipeen @wild-karrde @sharpbarnacle @obeydontstray @rain-on-kamino @nomercyforthewarrior @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @thefact0rygirl @everythingyouwanted @equalityforcats @cagrame @ladykatakuri @snakerune @shadesofshatteredblue @100lxtters @damerondala @tachyon-girl @rintheemolion @pickleprickle @mando-amando @ulchabhangorm

#elia kane #elia kane x reader #elia kane x you #elia kane x f!reader #star wars #star wars smut #wlw smut #sapphic smut #galawrites #gala being gay 🏳️‍🌈

[actual-changeling]

Ellie probably got some incredibly bare basics cooking classes cause FEDRA needs them to have that skill, but I think it starts and ends with "this is how you put shit together to be somewhat edible".

So once they get to Jackson and have their own house and a kitchen, Joel is the one who cooks at the beginning (dining hall and two people with hypervigilance and ptsd does NOT mix), and Ellie watches him sometimes. Joel definitely knows what he is doing, he did raise Sarah (+Tommy) after all, and after a week or two, when they have both had time to rest and their brains are less fatigued and stressed out, she asks him to teach her.

At first, it is mostly a mix of mild curiosity and her brain recognizing it as a useful survival skill, and it is a pretty tense situation for both of them; she has the need to impress him and does not know what to do with it or where exactly it is coming from. Joel is trying his best to explain why he does something and how to do it without cutting/burning yourself, but seeing Ellie handling a very big knife near a hot stove makes him anxious in a way he did not expect. Yeah, he has seen her handle her knife and shoot people but that knife is sharp and he vividly remembers the time Sarah accidentally touched a heated burner. On the other side, Ellie wants to be good at it and gets overly frustrated in a way she also did not see coming when it is harder than she thought; Joel makes it look almost effortless but the whole process is mentally exhausting and making something taste good is a fucking minefield.

Cooking lessons are messy and on bad brain days outright unpleasant, with Ellie having trouble focusing due to her dissociation and Joel growing increasingly restless as his anxiety edges itself on more and more. Once he passes a certain threshold, he keeps hovering behind her and chiming in with completely unnecessary warnings like "careful, the knife is sharp", and the silent implication that she is failing/incapable pokes at Ellie's trauma (not that Joel actually means it that way, but reminding herself of that doesn't stop the cold pinch in her heart). It causes the cloud of static in her mind to thicken, and as a result her movements become more clumsy, which then makes Joel even MORE anxious. The whole lesson turns into a small spiral neither of them likes to see happen, but they also do not know how to make it stop, and after a memorable instance of burned black sludge coating their pans when she got distracted and a barely edible result, they both need a break for a few weeks.

Ellie feels incredibly useless and inadequate because this shouldn't be hard! Cooking looks easy and she does know how to do it, she really does! Somehow she is just really fucking bad at doing it with Joel around, her body can't decide whether she wants him as close as possible or far away, and the weird urge to impress him does not waver no matter how much she tells herself that it doesn't matter.

Luckily, there is one other person she can ask to teach her and that person is Tommy.

Compared to Joel, Tommy is the definition of relaxation and her brain is less conflicted around him, so when she comes over for the first time, the process and the end result are actually surprisingly easy and edible. They start with the few things she had already mastered and then work their way up, and Tommy is not Joel, he doesn't hover or throw her unnecessary warnings, he sits on a kitchen chair most of the time and does whatever while occasionally answering her questions or helping her out. Once she feels somewhat competent Joel also comes by, and with Tommy being fully unbothered and radiating peace, his anxiety calms more and more each time.

There is more to unpack than just cooking lessons, they all know that, but the day they prepare family dinner together, laughing and bumping into each other and making a mess of Tommy and Maria's kitchen, food becomes not just fun again but a way to connect, and it brings them one step closer to living with family instead of just surviving for it.

#alex writes tlou #the last of us #tlou #joel and ellie #miller family #ellie and tommy #ellie williams #joel miller #tommy miller #they're both trying their best but by god sometimes you are just fucked up in ways that arent compatible for a specific thing #sometimes you need a bit of space and someone else to fix it #and then the other person can come back and its great again #ptsd is just like that sometimes but thats what tommy is for #thats what family is for

[thetarttfuldickhead]

As big an OT3 shipper as I am, I have to admit that both Roy and especially Keeley both would have a bit of a way to go based on how they end the series in order to be fully happy in the OT3. Jamie on the other hand I'm fairly sure has been up for it since s1 ep 1, and up for it without thinking it would be mostly hate sex from Roy since about S2 ep 6.

Hiya, nonny!

Keeley, I think, absolutely need some time alone. Some time voluntarily alone, I should say,

because she was single there for a bit in season 3, but she sure as hell wasn’t happy about it. While there are issues she need to adress in order to function well long-term in a relationship  (I am still rather upset that Roy is the one to apologise in 2x07, for instance), I also believe she just needs to be on her own for a bit; focus on herself, find out who she is outside of her romantic and/or sexual relationships, decide what she wants the balance between her career and her love life to look like… all that. Interestingly, and for all that she’s emotionally competent, I think that Keeley’s the one of them furthest from actually facing her issues face on. She needs to sit with herself for a bit, come to terms with the fact that there’s things she need to work on, and things she need to figure out… (Also, for her own sake, she needs to give Jamie and Roy time to figure out how the two of them can resolve their conflicts without turning her into a mediator; but the risk of that was arguably bigger earlier on.)

Roy now… Once he understands and accepts wanting to be in a relationship with Jamie, I think he would be very happy to be in the OT3 – but that’s when it gets dicey, isn’t it; when he starts to think he’s too happy? Because then he starts to question whether it can last, whether he deserves it, whether his partners will put up with him, and why should they, when he’s suck a fucking useless twat whom they’d be much better off without? Our Roy boy certainly has some way to go yet – but he’s brave and stubborn and has already taken the first step into Dr. Sharon’s office, so I’m confident he’ll get there. (There might be some macho jealousy bullshit for him and Jamie to sort out, too… and they might get so caught up in that they initially completely miss the fact that Keeley gets jealous, too, and feels left out sometimes, just because Jamie and Roy’s thing have grown so intense over the past year when Keeley was busy with other stuff. Then there’s the whole coach/player deal which I think Jamie is very happy to disregard and Roy… might not be so much, especially not when he’s new to the manager gig. And as much as Jamie might get off on Roy being rough with him, and as much as he understands Roy in general, I think Jamie needs Roy to be a bit more expressive with his affection down the road, or Jamie will start to feel insecure and… Well. Jamie doesn’t deal well with feeling insecure.)

And as for Jamie, I agree that Jamie would have been down for a threesome right from the get-go, but I think it’s fair to say that he would not, at that time, have been able to handle a proper triad relationship. The sex? Absolutely. The rest of it… Eh. Our darling prick had a lot of growing up to do, and while you certainly can do the growing while in a relationship, I think that as hot as the hate sex would have been (to Jamie and to me!), it would have been too volatile to last -- even given the fact that Jamie would probably soften a bit with Roy when given the attention (and reluctant admiration) he wants, which would in turn have Roy soften on Jamie a bit. (That said, I adore fic that explore them getting together early, when things are still very tense between Roy and Jamie, because them trying to navigate that is just messy and delightful.)

But Jamie’s spent the last year and a half reflecting and working on his issues, and he’s also been single for that whole time (as far as we know). He is, I should argue, very ready for a relationship; but he’s not gasping for one, desperate to be with someone just to not be alone. That’s a very good place to start from, so yeah, I certainly agree that out of the three Jamie is the one best emotionally equipped for the OT3 to commence at the end of S3. Which isn’t to say that Jamie doesn’t still have issues and work to do. Roy may have been first to escalate the argument in 3x12, but Jamie went right there with him, and Jamie also has shown a tendency to overcorrect when trying to adjust his behaviour, which may well cause some hiccups down the road. Additionally, while Jamie is often very open and forthright and expressive, he also has a habit of lying when he’d rather not delve into his real feelings or reasoning. That’s going to take some dealing with.

All in all, it’s likely to be a bumpier ride than we sometimes allow for – but to me that’s a feature, and not a bug! I like my ships messy – and at the end of the day, Ted Lasso was never about achieving perfection, but about trying, and trying again. And because – I think – of how much these characters love each other and how well they complement each other, they will keep on trying, stubbornly climbing back to their feet each time they fall down, doing better for themselves and for each other, offering support and encouragment and forgiveness – again and again, as they keep moving toward better; together, and so much happier for it.

#that got a little long #sorry not sorry? #there's more to be said too i'm sure #other nuances and angles #i'd LOVE to hear other people's thoughts on this #and was very excited for this ask #so thank you nonny and happy new year! #roy kent #jamie tartt #keeley jones #royjamiekeeley #one ot3 to rule them all #asks

[vole-mon-amour]

3x08, part 1.

Opening the episode with literally Jamie's name is !!! I'm already smiling. My boooy. <3 A streak of four wins just bc Jamie saw the flaw in Total Football, fixed it, and there we go <3

I am so incredibly sad for what Ted has to go through. This SUCKS. Some other man is bad enough, but your fucking therapist is a punch in the gut. Especially when you still have feelings for the woman you love, but she doesn't love you anymore.

I don't UNDERSTAND! If TedBecca isn't supposed to be romantic like Hannah and the writers say, why this? Like, yeah, they've been to the same party, obviously. And the mention is casual, "they're brother and sister to me", but I still see the foreshadowing. Like, I'm all TedTrent and bi Ted, but ????

Mae is so sweet. What a woman.

Seeing wlw in s3 of Ted Lasso was the last thing I expected, but hell yeah. Please don't make Jack evil. Please. If they're gonna break up, let it not be a scandal and a mutual breakup or something. However, I can see Keeley staying with Jack and Roy telling her he has feelings for Jamie and they hit it off pretty nicely. But that's just my shipper heart's desire. We'll see bc I don't think this show might be that bold.

I wonder how many women actually sleep with their bra on. It's the most uncomfortable thing EVER imo.

Keeley is such an excitable puppy. Just like Jamie when with Roy. :)

I'm actually surprised about Nate and Jade. Like... it's almost a complete 180? Idk, I still dislike him. I think I understand the point, be kind and and not judgemental, all of that, but I can't with him. I don't like him and his storyline. A lot of screen time was wasted on him when imo when it could've been something way more interesting.

She might as well might be a butch bi.

Laughing. Trent with his what I almost sure is an empty mug, just for the drama of it. Doesn't matter that he 'drinks' from it after. Show me liquid in there or I'm not fooled.

S1 Roy would never, and I'm proud of his development. Ted is one of his people now, isn't he? A good friend for sure. It's also very interesting for me to watch in terms of Roy's other relationships and interactions. He already went somewhat there with Jamie in Amsterdam, "I was a dick today, I'm sorry" and how he realizes that he often releases his negative emotions on Jamie "whether you deserve it or not".

Crying with laughter. Roy is ready to "talk about it", but definitely isn't ready to do THAT. It makes me feel good for getting this part of a relationship right in my fic, lmaoooo. Also, where is Higgins?

A real conflict here, hehe. Hopefully, one day, he's gonna be ready to join them and talk about it. That would be fun to watch.

Higgins summoning succeeded.

What are you doing there, Helga soft boy, with your sparkling pencil? This makes me think of that "Jamie — Jamie" thingy. Yeah, no, Roy and Jamie are in love.

This is more like a soft howling/whining :')

Babe, wake up, new reaction meme just dropped.

He sure does, but he's still repressed about it.

Trent Crimm woof'ing with a soft look on his face can be SO personal. I love him, your honor. I wonder what he'll write in his book about that. I also wonder when is Roy gonna join them. Oh, i'l watch him barking and woofing, alright. Jamie wouldn't let that go, EVER. At the same time I feel like Roy would refuse to imitate barking & they would let him just bc that's Roy. A simple "fuck you" and that's ok.

The difference in body language, wow. Love hounds though? Nate, you need to get back with Ted then. Gosh, this entire storyline is SO awkward.

I think I'm still in love with her a little bit. What a woman.

#natiswatching #ted lasso #roy x jamie #rebecca welton #trent crimm #keeley x jack #jamie tartt

[bitchlessdino]

Hi, can I have a request? 😇

You now how Mingyu in the last GoSe episode talked about how him and Soonyoung aren't good match (like personality)?

I was wondering about how would it be being in poly relationship with these two. 🤔

Pairing: soonyoung x afab!reader x mingyu

Genre: fluff, slice of life, smut

Word count: 800ish

tags: a lot background, domesticity, smut eventually, bisexual polycule, oral (giving and receiving), pet names, whiny gyu, teasing soonyoung, bossy soonyoung, pussy slapping

author note: I was stuck on how to approach this bc i was wracking my brain on whether I should try a new method like bullet pointing the details or write full thing, so how I decided to structure this a combination of how I've been answering requests lately and how i normally write fic. hopefully, this all makes sense. Enjoy!

Hoshi and Mingyu couldn’t be any more different from each other. Dating both of them is like owning both a dog and a cat. The dog is Mingyu who is loyal, loving, and overbearingly sweet, however, his breed would be Saint Bernard with how big and clumsy he is. With his size, his strength causes him to drop things left and right, causing nonfunctioning household appliances, and occasionally a frustrating Soonyoung that falls victim to his boyfriend's obstructive mistakes.

That did not make Soonyoung perfect either. If Mingyu was a dog, Soonyoung is the most hyperactive cat you have ever met. He's the type to really push and pull when he wants, meaning some days or hours of the day all he wants is affection, other times he's very self-involved and absorbed in his own interests. Those days when he's distracted, he's forgetting things like Mingyu making dinner at home when he decides brings home takeout.

You admit fights happen sometimes. It's inevitable with these two. Some days topics would vary from the type of movie playing for movie nights (Soonyoung loves his romantic comedies, while Mingyu was always interested in something jam-packed and exciting), to the contrast in cleanliness between the two (Soonyoung doesn’t even know where the vacuum is stored in the apartment).

Luckily, serious fights were rare and easy to make up since you play such a neutral role. You often found yourself to be one of the mediators in those situations and were thought to be a voice of reason. No matter how big the conflict got, no matter the length, the volume, or the reason, there was always a resolution. So as fun as a poly relationship may be, it's not a perfect science and that's fine. It was exciting because it was unconventional, yet at the same time, as loving as another monogamous relationship.

The sex, however, that you can't get from a relationship that wasn’t polygamy.

“Holy shit, baby, you’re so wet.”

Your excitement drips from Soonyoung’s finger like nectar, oozing more when you see him catch their sheen from his fingers into his mouth. You audibly moan at the scene, vibrating around the cock wedged in your mouth, causing its owner to jolt in place. With his knees bent in the pillows and gripping the bed frame for balance, Mingyu lets out a weak gasp, grabs you by the head, and shoves his cock far in your mouth just to get you to shut up. “‘Young, do not do that. I almost busted in her mouth.”

Soonyoung scoffs, “You talking to me again? What happened to being mad at me?”

The shorter man flicks a slick finger up your slit, hearing your whimpers ensue, causing Mingyu’s cock to twitch again in your mouth. The taller man gnash at his bottom lip to hold back his moan, glaring at his boyfriend who was smiling like the devil. “F-fuck you.”

“He doesn’t mean that, kitten,” Soonyoung averts his attention to you, eyes batting at you with feigned innocence, “He just can’t think with your pretty mouth around his cock.”

Soonyoung pushes two digits deep inside your prep cunt, your whines like music, and he feels your hips buck up in his direction, hungry for Soonyoung to move already. He thoughtfully moves inside you, twisting them, and plays with you gently. Drool seeps out of your mouth. Your legs slightly flail, clenching around his fingers while simultaneously trying to play the part for Mingyu. The man with his hands in your hair holds you with great care. He pulls the hair away from your face, seeing your eyes watch him with sincere eyes, bobbing down on him like you have a million times (which maybe you did).

“I really can’t,” Mingyu grunts, he caresses the side of your cheek, holding its warmth,“Soonyoung make her cum already.”

Sooyoung slows down on purpose, agonizing his partner’s poor pussy. You whine relentlessly, and Mingyu follows, feeling himself about to fill your mouth to the brim with his scorching cum. The blonde looks at them both. “Tell me how much you want it, Pup. I want to know how much you want Kitten to cry around your cock.”

“The fuck?” Mingyu retorts.

Soonyoung lands a tight slap to the eager cut, noticing you clench around to nothing, as you again vibrate around Mingyu’s cock, the poor man moaning loud enough to echo the room. “You piec–Come on, baby. Cry around my cock, hmm?”

“Not enough. Tell them you want to see their pretty face fucked out while we fill both their holes.”

“Mmh, baby doll. Love. I want to see you be good for ‘Young and me. Be a pretty toy for us while we fuck your cunt and mouth nice and good, Okay? Can you do that for me? For us?”

You nod at the taller man, earning a pat on the head. Mingyu smiles down at you sweetly, lightly grasping your chin, happy to have this brief moment to yourselves until Soonyoung once again interrupts. The older man pulls himself up to drag the articles of clothing off his lower body, the angry throbbing cock catching your eye in an instant, internally begging for that to be inside you.

“We can’t keep our puppy waiting now, can we kitten?”

#mingyu smut #soonyoung smut #seventeen smut #kim mingyu smut #hoshi smut #kwon soonyoung smut #kwon hoshi smut #seventeen mingyu #seventeen hoshi #seventeen soonyoung #seventeen x you #seventeen #asks #anon asks

[horsetailcurlers2]

YET ANOTHER long and obnoxious stream of my thoughts while watching grey’s anatomy for the first time (season 14 because i’m still hanging on by a thread)

-why did megan hunt have a fresh coat of mascara and some lip gloss on when she got flown in with her gaping abdominal wound LMAO

-teddy!!!!!

-i absolutely think they should tell megan about meredith and riggs and let her make an informed decision on whether she wants meredith to be her surgeon. this is greys anatomy, of course there’s gonna be a conflict of interest. they’re making this more complicated than it needs to be.

-somebody tell me when the show stops being worth watching. so far i’m hanging on bc i’m mildly interested in how jo and alex turn out, i want teddy and amelia to interact, and i’ve warmed up to arizona since she broke up with callie. obvi i love meredith i just don’t know how much more they can do with her before i just want her to take a warm bath and retire to somewhere far far away with her children.

-did amelia relapse offscreen???? wtf is going on???

-okay she has a tumor i guess. sure, okay, whatever. !!!!

-she put a gun in her !!!!!!!!! for a man???

-i don’t love the way they’ve introduced the new intern class. they set it up as if we already know them, whereas i feel like with every other class of interns we’ve gotten eased into it a bit more before we’re just tossed into this unfamiliar dynamic

-okay but wait i do like that in this ep w the roller coaster (and the people who are supposed to be baby cristina, george and izzie) they referenced the old intro. i think the writers knew they needed a little nostalgia to hook people back in at this point. jury is still out whether or not it’s working on me.

-maybe i’m stupid but why in the fuck would they have so many important things dependent on one networked computer system. why on earth would cardiac monitors be hackable?????

-idk about maggie/jackson…. seems too incest adjacent

-the casual gaslighting and manipulation with paul stadler is so well written

-“jackson avery, you are such a disappointment, i thought you were woke!!!”

-genuine question: do they just not do chemistry reads on this show when they cast romantic interests???

-*choked up*”right before she died, she told me i should be more slutty. and i just wish i could call her and tell her how slutty i’m being” i really do love maggie

-maybe i missed it but why does carina have an italian accent but andrew doesn’t?

-i like the development of jo and meredith’s relationship

-i think meredith and this firefighter woman should kiss on the mouth

-i like april better now that she’s kind of a mess

-OOH wait does helm have a little crush on meredith bc i’m kind of obsessed with that

-if there’s one thing greys usually kills it with its casting younger versions of characters for flashbacks

-i miss joe the bartender :(

-oh my god he gives them fake cancer so he can charge them for fake chemo?????? what the fuck

-too much of an emphasis on these lesbian cookies…. suspicious

-okay yeah that makes sense. i love this

-nurse olivia!!

-olivia of course has a right to still be upset but it’s a little weird to assume alex didn’t change at all in the past ten years. not to mention it’s weird to act morally superior about it now when she cheated on george with alex

-“if you wanna rebuild you have to tear it down first” bingo

-did i miss amelia getting her own place or is she taking this girl to meredith’s house??

-okay i guess she’s just moved in with owen again. i need to pay better attention lol but so much keeps happening and it’s a lot of mush to sift through

-“meredith grey is straight” “ever hear her talk about cristina yang?” LMAO

-PREGNANT?

#if you are ever curious why i have enough time on my hands to move through the seasons so fast #don’t worry about it. next question #greys anatomy #these are all tagged under #greys reactions #meredith grey #teddy altman #jo wilson #amelia shepherd #maggie pierce

[morskisir]

i'm really curious why you dislike the comics? /genq /nm

ooooh the dreaded question. i can get really passionate about this (i care too much) so i'm going to be as brief and simple as i can. i'm aware many people enjoy the comics and that's fine. /gen you do you. like i said; i care too much

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: we have no clue how much time or dedication was given to the comics by valve; the poor writing isn't necessarily the fault of the writers and i have no personal beef with them! with that said, old man yells at cloud /ref under read more/keep reading.

the two main gripes i have with the comics are lack of planning and tone problems.

as i already said, the lack of planning- and therefore the poor writing- does not mean the comic team was incompetent (the art is quite good a lot of the time, actually), but this does mean it severely hurts the quality of the comics themselves. it's clear they aren't sure where they're taking this (as evident by whatever the fuck is going on with helen) and what the story is even supposed to mean. the tone goes hand in hand with the poor planning; the comics aren't sure whether they want to be purely comical and action-focused or a DARK comedy; having serious moments and themes in the story.

in the end, the serious moments come off as either manipulative (iykyk. i am not getting angry about this for 40 minutes again) or as if they're being made fun of (cough cough sniper).

they also struggle to really build up those moments, so sometimes it feels as if they just came out of nowhere. it's really jarring.

there's also just. not a lot of conflict between the main cast?? there isn't a lot of pressure put on pauling from the mercs via questioning her actions, etc. (we only slightly get this from spy. but like once) (i get that it's to show how much trust they have in her but, really? not a single thing?) (this could build up to like. a "grand betrayal" sort of thing but yknow. they didnt think about the build up to anything)

this is why i think making it JUST the RED team really hurts the story- they already have set dynamics and don't need to develop or sort through any conflicts they have with one another. medic only has conflict with sniper of all people. MEDIC. who went to join another team which was actively hunting his previous one.

the comics introduce conflict and new dynamics by straight up making up new characters?? as much as i love zhanna- she was primarily put into the story just to be soldier's love interest and have a fun dynamic with him.... i'm so sorry miss.

they could've done that with demo btw?? since demo and soldier are supposed to be friends?? unless actually the team differences DO matter (which the comics do not make clear at all, engie is randomly blue while the rest are red. okay. why? wouldn't you like to know.) so red soldier and red demo dont bounce off of eachother as much as blu soldier and red demo do.

i'm not formatting this at all but remember the poor planning? ahem. sniper timeline. why did you make him barely 30. i will fucking kill you he was always clearly meant to be, look, and sound like an old man. its in his concept art its in how he talks. raghghgh

they keep giving themselves problems by adding new characters cause then the main fucking mercs who people adore get no time for themselves (demo, pyro, scout, engie) they're just kinda......there. it sucks. but it's what we got, i guess. just how canon the comics are is questionable- but i don't care if they are.

it's free real estate i'm doing my own thing!!!!!!!!!!! fuck around find out!!!!! be gay do crime!!!!!!! *gets arrested by valve for tampering with copyrighted material*

anyways, after all that negativity; shoutout to the only stuff i enjoyed from the comics: pauling, heavy, the art. goob byeeeeeeee

#ask #read at your own risk i guess- i do end up typing one trullon words #i can go into more detail but i won't. for the sake of my sanity. and i think many wouldn't like it either #edit: the one-shots are better. they're fun

[bookofmirth]

hi! i have a kinda strange question about the bonus chapter with az, bryce, and nesta (so pls ignore this ask if you haven’t read it yet and don’t want to be spoiled!!) there’s a conversation in the chapter where bryce explains what bombs and guns are, and at first azriel responds that such horrible weapons shouldn’t exist, then later nesta says something along the lines that it doesn’t matter if terrible weapons exist bc people will hurt each other regardless. (hopefully i didn’t switch azriel and nesta’s opinions, i lost the source that i read the bonus chapter from lol). do you think this was intended to be a commentary on gun control/gun laws or am i reading wayyy too deep into things? that’s how it came off to me and i had mixed feelings on which side sjm was trying to portray as right since she ends with nesta’s statement and doesn’t really bring up the issue any further. because yes, people will try to find ways to hurt each other, but it’s definitely a lot harder without easy access to guns. or maybe it was meant to show the different worldviews that nesta and azriel have, more about their characterization than a political commentary. idk i’d love to know your thoughts!

Okay this is such an interesting question because on the one hand I actually did think the same thing? It was just too similar to arguments people make irl about guns for me to ignore. But on the other hand... I sorta blinked, and then moved on.

It was Nesta, here is the quote (from my Walmart copy that showed up today woohoo):

"And people would still kill each other, even without those weapons," Nesta said gravely. "The wicked will always find a way to hurt and harm."

Honestly, I don't think we are reading too much into it because Crescent City as a series has already been posing these sorts of questions. sjm has had these characters make some very clear statements on politics and disadvantaged groups (e.g. humans) and terrorism and what are "appropriate" ways to rebel in this series.

It's really important not to confuse an author with their characters. Just because she writes a character who says X, doesn't mean that she as an individual also believes X. So imo, trying to attribute a character's political stance to her personal stance is very slippery. I say that because I don't think we could take Nesta's statement and say that sjm is pro gun rights or something, you know? SJM didn't make this statement, her character did. Writing fiction is not an implicit condoning of the actions within that work of fiction.

The philosophical stances that these characters take on the conflicts within this series is one of the things that turns me off from it. It's inconsistent given the context, what we know certain characters experience simply because of their identity, and... I think I've mentioned this before? But hosab really doubled down on the idea of respectability politics, to me. Respectability politics, for anyone who doesn't know, is the idea that if people just acted polite, asked nicely, and stopped being rude or mean, then they would be granted all the rights they ask for. Which is absolutely ridiculous and a tool for control. But the series really has me questioning whether sjm thinks it's a legit demand to make of people who are being disadvantaged, given how the narrative treats the human rebellion (and any other fae or angels or whoever who tries to rebel against the Asteri). Like if the human rebels just stopped blowing things up, maybe the Asteri and Vanir wouldn't oppress them so hard, jeez!!!

That's a fancy way of saying Bryce's stance on discrimination annoys the fuck out of me. Not just hers, but many of the characters' stances.

That is only somewhat related to your question, but I hope you understand why it came to mind haha. While I do hesitate to attribute any specific political leanings to an author because of what they have written, I do think that is makes more sense to wonder in CC than in her other series, given that politics, discrimination and stratification are major themes of the series.

If you have thoughts about what I said, I am curious to hear them!

#hofas #hofas spoilers #spoilers #Leslie reads hofas #the author is not their characters #but sometimes you gotta ask #why they keep writing a certain thing a certain way #ask #anon

[kikitsunedesu]

Yuno Second Voice Drama Translation

Es: sorry for the wait, Yuno.

Yuno: hi. It’s been a while, guard san.

Es: it seems you haven’t changed much, from what I can see.

Yuno: hm? Of course I haven’t changed? Ah, right, Haruka changed quite a lot. Guys changes so much around girls, huh?

Es: it’s a relief for now (that Yuno doesn’t seem to have changed). Then let’s begin the interrogation.

Yuno: hm-

Es: Yuno?

Yuno: It's too bothersome, so I’ll pass.

Es: hah?

Yuno: hurry up and just extract the song or whatever. Then, imagine what’s there and what’s not, and choose as you like, will you?

Es: hm. Quite the unwilling attitude.

Yuno: yeah, I guess. My interest just drained away, y’know?

Es: whether you have interest in it or not, I’m just going to do my job

Yuno: job, huh. So, how is it? This chaos that you created with this job of yours? Is it fun?

Es: what are you trying to say?

Yuno: are you satisfied, guard san? Forgive or not, the prison is in this state right now.

Es: you’re talking about the conflicts between the prisoners.

Yuno: right. The Kotoko san that guard san forgave went on a rampage and people were getting injured left and right!

Es: Mahiru and Fuuta. That was something that I hadn’t expected either.

Yuno: really? If you asked me, I’d never want to be friends with Kotoko san. She’s the type that has a set conclusion already, and the conversation would just stay in one spot. Well, it’s up to you who you want to be friends with, I guess. But Mahiru san seems to really be in a bad situation. Seems like she’s physically and mentally at her limit? And Mikoto san was attacked too, but seems like it ended in a draw. Seems like that guy was actually pretty strong. How unexpected. Oh, and Haruka and Muu chan are kind of becoming bothersome too, ah, and Amane chan and Shidou san too.

Es: Amane and Shidou?

Yuno: Well, they’re kind of like the opposite of Haruka and Muu chan. It’s quite the situation, so go ahead and go see for yourself.

Es: So that’s a result of the first trial too.

Yuno: well, to get to the point,

*pauses*

Yuno: it’s fucking bothersome. I said it before, didn’t I? People judging people based on a system other than the law has no end to it. That’s why I’m not interested in Milgram.

Es: yes, I remember. You told me that you wouldn’t worry about my judgement, and continue being yourself.

Yuno: ooh, yeah yeah. I’m happy you remembered. But you see, I didn't particularly dislike it. Milgram. Everyone here is kind of weird, but it was warmer than my daily life.

Es: it seemed like you were enjoying it.

Yuno: yeah. It was nice. They may be murderers, but they’re fun people. It’s kind of relaxing, with people who are all lacking something.

Es: you’re saying that it’s my fault that changed.

Yuno: exactly! The bothersomeness of this situation overruled the enjoyability of it. So now I’ve become cold (attitude). The end. So? Are you satisfied? With this situation.

Es: you are all murderers. And to clarify your sins, my job is necessary. Milgram will make your true selves and the truth clear-

Yuno: that. Will you not last if you don’t desperately tell that to yourself?

Es: uh,

Yuno: you want to reveal the truth, huh. Ha, ha.

Es: yes. Of course. As the prison guard of Milgram, and to judge your sins properly-

Yuno: a loooot of gold digging, and as a result, abortion. I think that’s my ‘murder’. Feast on the truth! So? Are you satisfied? Can we end now?

Es: Yuno, you,

Yuno: It doesn't seem like you’re too surprised. So you figured it out from the extracted song.

Es: well, yes. I did think that was a high possibility. I thought it was within Milgram’s interpretation of ‘murder’.

Yuno: I thought so. I did think it was something like that. I could feel it.

Es: you felt it, you say?

Yuno: I can hear it, when I’m in Milgram. I think the other’s are the same way too. Voices that are searching, observing, peering into, and talking about my sins.

Es: something like that,

Yuno: Those were things that you were thinking about, right? I dunno.

Es: I don’t know. I hadn’t heard anything about Milgram having an effect like that. It is true that I chose to forgive you after coming to those conclusions. Although it was a tentative decision.

Yuno: haa, then I’m going to announce the second reason why I’ve gone cold! Yay!

Es: hm,

Yuno: what a party pooper.

Es: I’m starting to have a difficult time trying to understand you.

Yuno: it’s kinda annoying to have you be so serious about it.

Es: I see. Continue.

Yuno: the second reason why I’ve become cold is, to put it simply, that I was forgiven.

Es: what?

Yuno: well to be more precise, it wasn’t exactly the fact that I was forgiven, but

Es: I don’t understand. Say it clearly.

Yuno: hmm, then shall I tell you what the voices I heard in my head were saying?

Yuno: “Because she’s pitiful. She must’ve had a reason. She might’ve become like this because she had a painful experience in the past. She must have had family problems, she must not know what love is yet, that’s why I forgive her.”

Es: it’s true that I did analyze it that way.

Yuno: ugh, seriously, yeah yeah. Well, if I had to say, and this will be my personal opinion, but to me, that assumption seems like a lecture. It’s disgusting.

Es: uh,

Yuno: it’s rubbish, assuming that I’m pitiful, deciding my past, building up your own ideal version of me, a version of me that you can agree to, haa. Those types of people really exist, you know. But those people are the ones that also do nothing for me.

Es: yuno,

Yuno: I’m not pitiful. My family gets along well, and it’s not like I have money problems either. I simply thought it was necessary for me, and made those decisions out of my own will.

Es: hm, then, what were you, uh, looking for when you, were doing those kinds of-

Yuno: why are you tripping over your words? How pure!

Es: shut up.

Yuno: hehe.

Es: I’m not going to question whether your actions other than your murder is right or wrong, however I think it’s not a mistake to say it’s a problematic action ethically.

Yuno: hmm, I’m not really interested in things like ethics or morality, stuff like that won’t make my stomach full.

Es: that sounds like quite a dangerous thought.

Yuno: Seriously, I agree with you. You know, I think there are a lot of people who are suffering from the idea that you have to “obey/protect ethics and morality”. ‘They should live more freely-’ That’s what I think.

Es: I think that depends on the extremeness of it?

Yuno: yes yes, of course I think crimes aren’t good, but there are ‘immoral’ acts that don’t make anyone unhappy, right? Gold digging is like that too, it’s ethically thought of to be bad, so I was hiding it, but did it make anyone unhappy? Isn’t it a win-win relationship/situation?

Es: I said this earlier too, but I’m not going to judge the morality behind your actions other than your murder. However, the fact that those actions of yours lead to your murder is true.

Yuno: Yes, that’s true. I’m not saying that abortion doesn’t count as murder, y’know? I’m a murderer.

Es: I can’t really understand you. It seems like you have a preference but it also seems like you don’t, it seems like you have an opinion, however they’re not persistent.

Yuno: It's not like I want to win a debate or something. I’m just speaking what’s on my mind.

Es: you don’t regret it at all?

Yuno: the more I realized that my action was “stealing a life’, the more it didn’t feel like a life. It felt weird, like something that wasn’t supposed to be there.

Es: I don’t think I can understand that feeling. I’ve never experienced it before.

Yuno: That's true. *stretches* I don’t care if you scorn me, and I wouldn’t have cared even if you said you wouldn’t forgive me, y’know? It’s not like I think I’m not innocent. Agreed, agreed. But you just imagined your own version of me, and pitied me? Even though I rationally decided to do those things out of my own will?

Es: sorry, but that’s just how Milgram is.

Yuno: then I don’t like Milgram.

Es: that’s fine.

Yuno: Do you have to have a sad reason to forgive someone? So if someone has a sad reason, you would forgive them?

Es: it’s a fact that those things are factors in judgement.

Yuno: even though they did the same thing? (people that have a reason for doing things, and people who don’t)

Es: even if it was in the light of the law instead of Milgram, things like making punishments lighter because of the reasons for what happened exist. The motive behind the murder is a key factor.

Yun: hmm, well that’s true. Well, if we were going by law, I wouldn’t end up being charged with murder either way.

Es: this is Milgram.

Yuno: yeah yeah, you really love Milgram huh, guard san?

Es: not really.

Yuno: thought so. You look pained, guard san.

Es: me?

Yuno: yeah. Who else is there?

Es: That's not true.

*chime*

Yuno: okaaay it’s over it's over! Hurry up and extract the song or whatever!

Es: seriously, you.

Yuno: you were able to get the answer to my crime, right? Now you can do what, why don’t you go think about my reason or motive or my feelings or whatever?

Es: you made so much fun of my job. (the way he words it is pretty aggressive)

Yuno: ah, are you mad?

Es: a little.

Yuno: hm, well, things like forgiving or not forgiving- they’re kind of foolish. I won’t become warm with something like that. If you don’t hold me tight, it’s impossible, impossible.

Es: keep talking (sarcastic). I won’t stop no matter what you say about Milgram.

Yuno: mhm mhm.

Es: I’ve told you. I’ll decide whatever I want about you selfishly. (this could mean either that Es won’t take ‘her’ into consideration when he decides, just her crime itself, or that they’ll just make whatever decision they want based on their own ‘selfish’ reason)

Yuno: you did say that.

Es: say all the complaints you want. You troublemaker.

Yuno: hehe. Oh, also, there’s one thing that I was wondering about.

Es: what is it.

Yuno: Am I, really alive?

Es: what do you, mean by,

Yuno: hmm, it’s fine if you don’t know.

Es: Yuno,

Yuno: C’mon, isn’t it already time?

Es: ah, yes.. Prisoner number 02, Yuno, sing your sins.

All translations by yours truly <3

btw i always post translations on my insta first, kikitsunedesu! feel free to follow <33

#milgram #yuno kashiki #kashiki yuno #milgram translation #milgram second trial #milgram s2 #milgram interrogation

[fanficshiddles]

Seductively Destructive, Chapter 12

L: You have no idea how much I miss you already, pet. I’ll see you super soon. xxx

Erin’s heart hurt at reading the latest message from Loki. It had only been a week since she’d been back home after the tour, but she really missed him.

It was weird being back home, trying to adjust again. She had managed to get hold of a job at the local shop, so at least she had something to tide her over for now. Luckily they were looking for someone new to work for them and to start straight away.

Loki phoned her every day, sometimes twice a day. And they messaged a lot, too.

But it was weird, Erin felt… odd. She felt like she was coming out of some sort of trance or spell. Thinking back to a few things, she was starting to doubt whether their relationship together had been entirely healthy or not… Yet, her stomach leaped excitedly and her heart raced whenever he messaged or called.

Jane had been on holiday for the first week of Erin being back home. But when she got home too, Erin was so happy to see her best friend again.

They ordered takeaway that night and planned to watch a movie. Jane wanted to hear all about her journey on tour with Loki first though. Erin grabbed a hair bobble and tied her hair up in a bun before food arrived. Not thinking at all about the tattoo on her neck that Jane was yet to notice.

‘What is that?’ Jane squealed and rushed over towards her to get a look before she sat down.

‘Oh… Uh, a new tattoo. Got it at the same time as my dog one.’ Erin said, trying to keep the nervousness out of her voice, she knew what Jane would think of it.

‘Erin… Did you really want his name on you? Is it not a bit soon?’ Jane asked as Erin sat down next to her.

‘Nah, it’s not too soon. Course I wanted it.’ Erin tried to shrug it off.

‘And those photos too, I know you, Erin. You had no idea about them until I mentioned it, he didn’t even ask you about it. Did he?’

‘It’s fine, Jane. Everything is good. Seriously.’ Erin laughed a bit.

‘And I heard the rumours about you giving him a blowjob in the girls toilets in a club, and him fucking you in there too. For people to see.’

‘That was completely consensual!’ Erin said firmly, glaring at Jane.

‘That was? So, the other things weren’t?’ Jane said knowingly.

Erin opened her mouth but didn’t know what to say. She could feel herself slipping as her lip quivered and her eyes began to water.

‘It’s not… not like that. I love him. He loves me… But I… I was a little surprised with the tattoo, and the photos. But I like the tattoo, I think it looks cool and I have part of him with me all the time. Besides, he remembered me talking about old Sally once and remembered that I had said briefly I wanted her silhouette tattooed on me. He’s caring and considerate.’

‘Erin…’ Jane turned on the sofa and took her hand. ‘It sounds like he’s manipulated you in some situations. Were you comfortable doing the photoshoot even?’

‘Well I… Not at first, but I got better as it went on. And it gave me a confidence boost…’

Jane just gave her a look. And Erin broke down in tears.

‘Oh Erin, come here.’ She pulled Erin into a hug and tried to console her.

‘I feel conflicted… I love him, I love spending time with him. It was exciting and fun. I had the time of my life. And I actually enjoyed being his girl, the jealous fans. But I was the one all over him, the one that he picked… Yet there was just those one or two little times that I was a bit unsure. But that’s not a bad thing really, is it? The good outweighs the bad?’ Erin rambled and wiped her eyes.

Jane sighed and gave her another hug. ‘It might seem a few little things right now, but it might get worse as time goes on, become more. It’s manipulation, but that can grow into a lot more. It doesn’t sound like a very healthy relationship. I’m guessing there was a lot of alcohol and drugs in the mix, too?’

‘Some, but most nights I ended up going to the hotel room after the gig. Loki would join me at times too, so there wasn’t as much as you’d think. Honest. But we did go kinda hard the times we did.’ Erin leaned back against the sofa with a sigh, a few more tears rolled down her cheeks.

‘I don’t think he’s good for you, Erin. I know you had a great time, but maybe that’s all it should be. A one-off whirlwind romance of sex and partying.’

Erin tried not to cry anymore than she already had done. ‘I know… I know… But, it’s hard. The thought of not even speaking to him again. It’s like he’s a drug, I just can’t resist him. If he turned up on the doorstep right now, I’d be putty in his hands. I just want to be with him. Even if there are a few things that make me uneasy. Though now I’ve been away and back home for a week, it does feel like my head has cleared a little more.’

‘It will take time to get him out of your system, all the drugs and alcohol probably won’t have helped… Just, please be careful and take time to think about your future with him. But it really doesn’t sound healthy, Erin. I’m just saying that to look out for you. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.’

‘I know.’ Erin said quietly with a nod.

She was glad when their takeaway arrived, something else to focus on.

They talked a bit more about Loki and the tour afterwards. Though it did pain Erin thinking back to a lot of it, and thinking about whether she should end it completely with Loki or not. But she wasn’t sure if she would be able to do that…

‘For as iffy as the photoshoot was, not gonna lie, you were fucking smokin’ hot!’ Jane said.

Erin laughed a bit. ‘Thanks. I did feel it afterwards and looking at the photos.’

They talked for a good few hours before finally watching the film. Then before going to bed, Erin received a message from Loki.

‘Is it Loki?’ Jane asked, noticing the way Erin was just staring at her phone.

‘Yeah… I’m going to have to say something, aren’t I? Cause every time I speak to him or get a message from him, I slip back under his spell… I need time to breathe, to think properly.’

‘So just tell him that. Tell him the truth. That you need some breathing space for a little while.’

Erin let out a big breath and nodded.

So she went to her room and put a lot of thought into what she had to say to Loki. And it took her a long time to press send when she did write out what she wanted to say. She couldn’t stop crying again afterwards, her heart felt like it was breaking into a million pieces.

E: Loki. I don’t even know where to begin with this really. But I need some time… Some space. I love you, I do. And I had the best time on tour with you. But I just need to think about things, have some breathing space. There were a few instances on tour that had me concerned, the tattoo and the photos... I felt that I was pressured, a bit, into them. That we should have talked more first about it. I just, don’t know how I am feeling. And I’m really sorry to be doing this. But please understand, I just need time to think. You’re like a drug to me, I can’t think straight when with you or talking to you. I need this breathing space for a while. I hope you understand… x

-

And I hate that I made you the enemy And I hate that your heart was the casualty Now, I hate that I need you

#Loki #Tom Hiddleston #Loki x ofc #seductively destructive