#I got one person who is generally unbiased to say that's how they read it too

[dc-worse-dad-poll]

“slade was a GOOD father”-tales of teen titans 44

i’m sure that counts for something

he like

immediately fucked that up majorly…but it’d be funny if he got eliminated

tales of the teen titans (1984) #44

i am genuinely trying to remain unbiased in this whole poll (except in small things that are funny, not annoying, like the poll photos) but if you are mentioning slade wilson it is my duty to tear him to pieces.

for context, Tales of the Teen Titans #44 is the introduction to Joey and also explains Slade's backstory. which we do not need to get into the gritty details of, but it's actually similar to Captain America in Marvel except Slade is a piece of shit about it.

grant is born while slade is in the army still and joey is born while he's a hunter but before he's deathstroke. but slade switches to being deathstroke FAST and starts using his family as a cover. who will think the old guy at the PTA meetings who hosts big parties and loves his kids and treats his wife properly will be deathstroke the fucking mercenary?

deathstroke inc (2021) #15

and here's the thing. anyone who reads a deathstroke or wilson family kid's comics knows that slade does genuinely love his family, in his own twisted way. which is why he's such a bad dad. for this, i always cite the same fucking comics because it's so fucking good.

teen titans (2003) #78

the thing about slade is that he's going to be a terrible father and person no matter what. but he loves his kids, so he justifies all those terrible things by saying he loves them and is trying to keep them safe. which is fucking bonkers, because if he really wanted them out of his life, he'd stop going after them. like how he puts out a bounty on rose in deathstroke (2016) #2.

this is the guy who would rather save his ego and reputation than his own son. whose actions resulted in the death of his eldest and he proceeded to blame on a bunch of teenagers with a vengeance. and slade is fantastic at justifying his shitty as actions and making himself seem either not that bad or like he's been wronged.

and just like slade always chases after his kids, always brings them back and treats them like utter shit, his kids always go back to him, too.

more panels from teen titans #77-78, but honestly just read any comic with him and the kids and you'll get this "i hate you i love you please change for me" dynamic.

so. sure, you can argue that slade used to be a good dad, but it's pretty obvious in any wilson family reading that he's always used his family to further his own desires.

even with grant, when he found him again as ravager, it was to use grant for a job, not because he loved and missed his son. and then he justifies that by raging a war against the titans for generations in Grant's name.

so. yeah. slade's love always comes broken and with some sort of asterisk. he's a good dad when it benefits him. he's a bad one when it benefits him. because that's the kind of person he is. so addie is saying he was a good father because that's the show he was putting on for her and the kids.

#there's also the whole 'knew what ish was doing to joey and didn't stop it' thing #but that's strictly rebirth from my understanding so idk if people would care enough about it #but. idk i think a genuinely good dad would beat his friend up for doing that to his son. #not a poll #asks #slade wilson #bias showing posts

[justatalkingface]

The problem with Endeavour's redemption arc isn't actually Endeavour

It's literally everyone else. I'll be honest: I hated Endeavour since the first time he opened his ridiculously bearded mouth, but he's... actually trying to do the right thing, with his family. He's not doing it perfectly, of course, but I don't actually expect him to, and I'm not holding him to such an unrealistic standard. He's trying to talk to them, he's apologized, and so on and so forth. These actually are the right actions he should be making in a general sense.

The thing is both the narrative of the story, and every character not named Dabi has either barely given a shit about, or has seemingly skipped several steps in the process of forgiving Endeavour for, being a child abusing shit, and as cool and iconic as I find The Man Literally Too Angry To Die Or Become Charcoal, an unbiased narrator he's not.

'Now Face', I can already imagine one of the three people who will actually read this say, 'It's not actually a redemption arc! Endeavour isn't trying to redeem himself, and there's no guarantee he'll ever actually be forgiven by his family!'

Well, imaginary reader, I'm sorry to tell you that it is. His family is going to forgive him, to some extent, and they end up a loving family in some shape or form. It's been signaled that way for awhile now, ever since the big family meeting where only Natsuo seems to be actively angry anymore, or when Endeavour fought the High End and his entire family went "ENDEAVOUR NOOOOOO PLEASE DON'T DIE!!!!'. Personally, I've known it was always going to happen since Shoto started interning with him, way back when, which is actually where my problems with this character arc even started!

Now, let's all pause and reflect on Earlyroki. Earlyroki, while a complex character, had some very simple motivations, and his biggest one was his complete and utter hatred of his father. Everything he did was done with an eye to spite his father with that action if at all possible, and if someone had handed Earlyroki a magic Quirk saw that'd let him physically cut off the fire half of this body and live, he'd have done it in a heartbeat and happily lived the rest of his life spitefully hopping around on one leg, if he didn't make himself a ice leg or something to walk with. That's why Izuku's famous line was so big for him: it separated him, in his mind, from his father for perhaps the first time in his life, and nothing more than that. Not forgiveness, not even acceptance, but just... that he wasn't his dad.

It was a great start, but the problem is the next step on his growth process wasn't separating more from his father, wasn't finding out more who he was, it was.... interning under him to learn how to fight like him. On an objective level, as much as I hate to admit it the plan is actually pretty smart: Endeavour was the Number Two Hero, and the best fire user in existence. He is the quickest and easiest path to power for Shoto, and the option was something he could easily do. But the thing is, this is before the power levels ate a lot of the story line; everything wasn't about power back then, and Shoto's story wasn't about getting stronger as a fighter anyways, but as a person. More than that, I honestly got the vibe that the only reason he hadn't tried to actually kill his dad was, 1, a the realistic knowledge that Endeavour could take him, and 2, what morals he had left in him and the fear of the consequences, since he hadn't progressed to the point where murdering him was worth giving up his moral qualms and his life as a free man. And so, you'd think he'd want to continue distancing himself from his father, right, but just do it in a healthier way, right? But he didn't.

Because Endeavour was going to be important later on so Hori had to get the readers used to him, because people hated him too much, because Hori had made him too hateable, and he had to be in the story. And, as a sign of how mature Shoto was, he was going to put up with his dad anyways, and it was that which confirmed Endeavour's redemption for me: because it was 'good', in the story's narration, for him to do that. Not to grow apart from him, not to just never talk to him ever again, not to stop thinking about him or having his life revolve around him, but to interact with him more. To spend time with him, even if it was an actual burden to Shoto. And that tolerance, I knew instinctively from all the other shonen storylines I've read, was going to be the foundation to forgiving him, the same way that sending time with him being 'good' was the first step in Shoto growing to love him, (and I was right! After growing to slowly tolerate Endeavour's existence his general area, the High End fight suddenly reveals that actually, Shoto loved his dad all along, despite him never once acting like that before now, or showing him any emotions at all beyond something on the spectrum of rage or disdain) and it was that abrupt jump from burning hatred that ruined Shoto's arc in forgiving his father for me, which tainted his family's arc in forgiving him because it's built off that for the audience.

...Well, that and one other thing: Rei. Rei finally shows up in the manga and one of the first things she does is say, 'No, wait, he's not that bad anymore! He's improving!' You know, despite the fact she's still hospitalized, and from what I remember still so traumatized he couldn't even see her yet... but he got her a flower!

You know, there's a post I read somewhere (but I don't know where it is, sadly, it was great) that analyzed the flower scene and how messed up that is.

They compared Rei and her flower to Harley Quinn in Mad Love and her getting a flower. The thing is? Mad Love was about showing how damaged Harley was, and how fucked up the abusive relationship she lived in; she spends the entire story getting hurt and used by Joker, and the end of it she finally, finally realizes that, hey, he's a piece of shit and terrible to her until the Joker gets her a flower. And oh, suddenly she's back in love with him all over again!

In Mad Love, that flower was about proving how broken Harley was, it was a symbol about how toxic and one sided her relationship with the Joker was. In MHA? Well, that flower is Rei's entire basis for saying that everyone should forgive Endeavour: he remembered that she liked that flower (which is assuming he didn't just get it accidently, lol) and so that's a sign he's better now! Not because he's acting differently to her, not because she's even talked to him, but because of the flower, and narratively? That's a good thing! You're supposed to agree with her, supposed to take that single flower as a symbol of Endeavour's growth and how you should think better of him now! Never mind all the things he did to her, never mind she basiclly hasn't interacted with him in over a decade, never mind how terrified she was, how she was so traumatized that seeing him in Shoto lead to her throwing boiling water at him; ignore all those details because the flower exists! It turns her from a character in her own right, to a tool that only exists for the sake of Endeavour making up with his family, since if she forgives him, if Fuyumi is too beaten down to have ever really dissented and if Shoto has moved on several months and one random personality twist or so ago into spending time with him, then clearly Natsuo is just irrationally angry and should rethink his own opinions, instead of being angry for completely valid reasons and having no real need to even want to make up with his father in the first place.

But the family drama of Endeavour is only half of it: like I said at the beginning, the problem with his arc is literally everyone else, along with the narrative of the story as a whole. Thing is, until Dabi's Dance, no one knows better, so there's only one really good example to look at pre-Dabi: the second internship arc, with Izuku and Bakugou.

With Shoto telling Izuku about how his father is a massive tool, and Bakugou blatantly eavesdropping, both of them know Endeavour is a piece of shit. They both know... and yet they go anyways, and the fact they do that and don't have a major problem with him is a way the narrative is trying to push to the reader that Endeavour is better now, now, that we should all move on and not hate him anymore! But honestly, that's just set up for the Dance, and that's when things really get serious, because everyone knows now.

...And they know, and... no one seems to... care? Emotionally, the only ones who seem to be affected by the fact that the Number One Hero's son is one of the greatest villains/criminals in the history of Japan is the Todorokis. Everyone else barely even seem to blink.

And look, I get that there's a giant crisis, and everyone needs to step up (Obviously. The real reason that it happened then was so it would be like that, so the author could paper over that giant issue with a problem magnitudes worse), but the other heroes only talk about Dabi is a problem to be solved, not his origins. There's not one moment where any of them seem to doubt Endeavour's abilities as a hero, or the institution of heroism if it literally seemed to cause their greatest problems, or hell, even Endeavour's ability to deal with it.

Not one of them look at Endeavour and tell him, "You disgust me." None of them say they can't trust him anymore, or that they're willing to follow him but only because the country itself is literally in danger. Hawks, who had been built up as the dark, edgier hero this entire time, wavering on the edge of good and evil and what is right or wrong, whose entire foundation of heroism started with Endeavour indirectly saving him as a child, doesn't even seem to be disappointed in his idol.... though that's as much on how his character seemed to get assassinated as of the war as anything else, but still.

As far as we, the readers, can tell, there is not one hero, beyond Shoto (who supports his father anyways) who is even slightly upset that Endeavour decided to start a eugenics campaign in his own home, before emotionally abusing his own son so badly he almost kills himself, and came back from near death as a burnt corpse of a man who devoted the rest of his life to destroying Endeavour and everything he loves.

Needless to say, that is... deeply fucked up. And sure, there may be some people (somewhere) who feel otherwise, but that's the problem: we never see them. We never see anyone's thoughts that differ from the party line. The narrative doesn't want us to see 'the good guys' doing anything other than falling in line behind him. This is all capped off by the fact that we see Endeavour's fall into being a child abuser, but we see it from his perspective.

We see him just... 'meaning well', from his own memories, and however distorted they've gotten over the years as he's rationalized it. We see that it isn't as bad as we suspected, that he wasn't the one to burn Dabi like that (even though he acted early on like he'd do exactly that, so it was never something that out there) but even if he didn't, Endeavour clearly drove him to burn himself like that and ignored every possible warning sign in the process. We know he slapped at least Rei at least once, and at some point hit Shoto so hard he puked, but "oddly enough" that never comes up in his version of the story; why would it? It's not like he'd want to think about those times.

So let's sum it up: Endeavour is, at least trying, to be better. He's making real, realistic, moves to apologize to his family, to make amends, and to stop being such a colossal piece of shit, and while he definitely makes some poor choices in that process, the attempt itself is real. I don't like him, but I can admit that much, and admire it.

The problem is that Hori, through the narrative of the story, how it's being shown to us and through the characters in it, wants us to like Endeavour too much. He wants it so much that he's refusing to show just how bad Endeavour actually was, and it taints his story and his growth as a person. It changes it, lessens it, because it's being forced by the author, and shows that he's afraid that if he didn't protect Endeavour from the consequences of his own actions, the audience wouldn't like him anymore.

Really though, if he didn't want that he shouldn't have made Endeavour such a detestable person in the first place, or when he made his story as this singular asshole among the heroes he shouldn't have been afraid to let him just... be hated.

#mha critical #bnha critical #anti endeavor

[word-wytch]

My thoughts on Flight of Icarus (so far!)

I finally got my hands on the book yesterday and also had time to read which hasn’t happened in a very hot minute.

These are just my first impressions, commentary, and takeaways from chapters 1-9.

More will come, but I am realizing that I have so much to say that I need to break it up ✨

I will start off by saying that I was skeptical, as all of us were, when this book was announced. Prior to reading it, I had been steering clear of spoilers and others’ reactions just so that I could go in completely unbiased and with an open mind and heart.

Within the first 10 pages, I was crying. Like, openly weeping. Something about Eddie talking first person about his childhood experiences and confirming what so many of us suspected hit me so suddenly. I was not prepared for the swell of emotions that bubbled over as a result of not only that, but reading his name printed on a real, hard bound book when I've only ever read it from a screen was something else as well. Something about it being officially licensed by ST and providing us with some concrete backstory (if we choose to take it) for so many things that we've been only speculating on for the last year and a half.

These are a few snippets that really had me going:

Anyway, I'm broken.

Onto the writing --

I genuinely think what I've read so far has been incredibly well-written. The first person narration sounds so much like Eddie, as does the dialogue. The insights and ways he describes things cleverly but also with that touch of dark humor that he deflects with so often is very present. I do feel like I'm stepping into his curly noggin and viewing the world through his bambi eyes. It's such a treat.

Also, I have noticed her using many words that he frequently uses in his limited dialogue on the show in her narration, the main one I can think of right now being "not exactly". It's touches like these that let me know how closely she's paying attention.

I am also impressed with the general quality of prose, how she seamlessly integrates setting and character description into the scene. Also clever and creative ways to describe objects that still stay very in character. This one stands out:

Also this. This hyper-awareness that his home life is different than his peers, something I try to illustrate in my own writing and appreciate that this author did as well:

As a writer, I learn so much from reading. I can honestly say that I am learning from this experience as well, and dare I say it, am inspired.

The chapter I am working on now for DSSCTM deals heavily with similar themes and questions that FOI covers, such as Eddie's motivations for staying in school, his relationship to his dad, and how he views himself. So I feel a lucky sense of coincidence that this book was released during the time I am writing it. I, like everyone else, invented my own backstory for his parents that suited the story I was trying to tell and will keep it for consistency going forward.

Characters that stuck out to me --

Gareth -- OH. MY GOD. BABY GARETH. Little fluffy ball of rage. I cannot. My heart is going to explode fr. Also the tenderness with which Eddie handles him is just too much for me.

Ronnie -- Stan her. You know, this character really makes me wonder how much of our fics the author has read because I feel like it is one of the most common and earliest tropes for our Reader characters to be best friends of his that grew up in the trailer park along side him. Maybe it's just an obvious trope? But interesting she included it. Also making her the book-smart one who's got a golden ticket out is another very common thing I see in our stories.

Chrissy -- I love the bit of backstory I've read so far and how sympathetic she writes her. I love that we get the whole scene of them before the talent show and them bonding for a short moment.

Al -- There aren't enough words for how big a piece of shit this man is. When he said this to Wayne I almost yeeted my book across the room. Nobody talks to Wayne Munson like this in my house. 😤

Paige -- Eh. Not sold tbh. Although I do appreciate reading through Eddie's first person narration about him having a crush on someone though. It's cute. Just the crush part, not Paige specifically. She's mid so far.

Principal Higgins -- I had to suspend my disbelief a bit for how strong he came on tbh. I mean, I think she made a somewhat believable case for his absolutely unhinged behavior but it still struck me as borderline unbelievable how Higgins spoke to Eddie like that. What it did confirm for me was something I had suspected from the beginning, which is that Eddie's dad never graduated high school. Also, I appreciate the question being asked about why he is still in school BUT my issue is that this question isn't as applicable in his first senior year as it is in his third. I think the author was trying to find a reason for Higgins to be asking it and had to dig a little to try and make it believable. It's a question I have asked myself, one that I had Teach ask him in the first chapter of DSSCTM, and one I will be exploring in ch. 16.

One final theme-related thing I noticed and appreciate:

How chapter 4 ends with his dad telling him to sleep on the idea of pulling off a heist with him and chapter 5 begins with "The question is pretty simple. At the end of the day, who do you want to be?" and proceeds to a scene of him building a character with Gareth. Likewise in real life, Eddie is figuring out who he wants to be, and I think using this as a metaphor is really clever and beautiful.

ALSO. A theory. Illian died right? Illian wasn't Gareth's he was Jeff's. What if this is alluding to the possibility of another character we all know and love who supposedly died in canon to be able to come back and re-invent themselves? 👀

Could just be my delusional ass reading into this way too much but it was just a thought I had.

Anyway, onward. ✨

#flight of icarus #eddie munson #stranger things #please tell me your thoughts!! #I wanted to just have a place to dump all mine but also want to start a dialogue!

[the-music-maniac]

I'm relatively new to ORV, I got into it a while back and then ran out of time to continue (the novel is long AF lol) but as I'm getting back into it, I've realized that ORV is one of the most main character centric fandoms I have ever encountered before.

And tbh I think that's why I've been having so many issues getting invested in ORV fanworks. Specifically shipping ones. It's super rare for me because usually I love reading fanfics.

Before I start talking about my thoughts I just wanna make a disclaimer that I'm not trying to attack anyone. You should interact with media and create stuff however you wish to! Lord knows that I'm not exactly unbiased about my blorbos (I would die for them and you can tell from my posts) but I just kinda wanna talk about this because it's such a unique experience. Never before have I encountered a fandom that is so centered on one character.

Like I hope y'all know what I'm talking about and that I'm not just talking out of my ass. Everything in the ORV fandom is super Kim Dokja centric. On one hand, I really do get it, he's a great character. He's not my favourite character but he's a lil rat bastard and I think he's so fucking neat. And how centred the storyline and moreover the people in the story are on Kim Dokja is to a certain extent, canon. He's their leader and also the person keeping them safe. He's the one who reached out in their darkest moments and pulled them to the light. And he's a traumatized little bitch. Oof. A certain amount of hero worship and protectiveness is valid.

What I can't really wrap my head around though, is the lack of development between other members of the group in a lot of fanworks. This is specifically fandom interpretations of the characters btw, I haven't finished the story fully, so I can't speak on how they are canonically but I have seen people's stories and thoughts. And this isn't always the case of course, I have read fics before where our protagonists all appear to have relations with each other outside of their care for Dokja but it... wasn't as much as I was expecting. Which is weird to me because ORV is super good at writing like. Well written and thought out characters that would be super fun to play with in writing. In developing connections and care for each other - creating a found family. At the beginning they're all tied in by the need for survival and circumstance, they don't even necessarily like each other, and so of course they all gravitate to Dokja, that's to be expected, that's who they're familiar with. But eventually I expect they would learn to care about each other too, y'know? It's difficult to not get to know each other when you're living together daily, fighting alongside each other to survive. I don't believe that they wouldn't develop care for the other members of the group, and people who care about each other don't tend to genuinely threaten each other anytime Dokja gets hurt, especially when it's not anyone's fault - like usually it's in response to one of them "not doing enough to protect him" which makes no sense to me. You don't guilt trip people you care about for things outside their control. Moreover, Dokja is his own person - he will do what he will do and you can try and prevent it because you care about him, sure, but it's also unreasonable for others to expect anyone to be his keeper enough that they get angry when Dokja gets hurt due to his own actions or to situations outside of their control. People in general also don't have their entire character and world centered on loving one person. There are fics I've read where all the characters don't even seem to have any hobbies outside of spending time with Dokja, and I say this because they all literally fight, tooth and nail, over Dokja's time. It feels out of character to me. And yet this characterization is also so common???

I don't usually mind fics that so clearly have a bias towards one character because it's valid to write what you wanna see, but I think it's how saturated the fandom is with those types of works that makes me feel weird. It makes me stop seeing all the characters as individuals in their own right. Having no wants or needs or hobbies outside of Dokja makes it seem like they're just accessories to the story of Dokja's life. The story itself becomes less compelling to me, because it becomes less of a narrative of how Dokja has helped these people and their responses, and more of a world that bends over backwards to worship this one character, using all the other characters as tools to do so. Because if this is meant to convey gratitude and love, its illogical to how it usually works. Specifically in that, you don't lose your own identity or your connections to other people because of it. And I find it hard to interact with this level of saturation of those tropes because at a certain point, I start losing sight of the canonical writing of these individual characters as their own people. I start losing the idea I have in my mind of their canonical personalities. And I don't like that feeling. And because Dokja also isn't my favourite character in this story - I still like him, don't get me wrong - I start feeling indignant on the behalf of all the other characters that are not getting development BC of the concentration on Dokja.

I also don't like it when the banter goes away. Like you can care about people and still enjoy messing with them, I'm not sure why caring about dokja translates to hero worship??? I annoy my friends all the time, and they do it back. It's fun. Like that thing the group does where they can't see Dokja's face and just unanimously decide to tell him he looks bad when he asks about it? That's peak friendship. Peak messing with your sibling energy. As far as I've seen Dokja isn't self conscious about that either (then again I haven't read the entire story yet), so like. What gives? It's canonical that they mess with Dokja - but a lot of fics just get rid of that element.

I also find it especially hard when it comes to shipping, specifically Joonghyuk and Dokja. The reason why I love Joonghyuk and Dokja's dynamic so much in the first place is because they view each other as equals. It would be very easy to place either Joonghyuk or Dokja onto a pedestal - but they don't do that to each other. They know each other pretty damn well and they care about each other even though they're so in denial about it. And you know that thing they do where they act like the other is the worst person in existence and then negates it all by repeatedly devoting themselves to saving them? That's my shit. That whole "you're so fucking annoying but if you died I would kill everything in this room and then myself." The whole "what was that?" "Affection." "Disgusting. Do it again." THAT SHIT. I love that about them. And like the platonic relationships, a lot of shipping works get rid of that type of banter when they shift to a romantic relationship. Like yeah, sweet talk and honesty is important. You should let your partner know you love them. But that's not gonna be all there is. I don't see a need to get rid of the banter because as the story goes on, it's clear that even in canon, eventually the harsh words they say to each other stop being genuine because their actions negate the words. They don't mean them in the first place, so why would that banter change once their care shifts from a platonic to a romantic one? And I could perhaps be okay with that shift from banter to sweet talk if it was MUTUAL, but too often I see a situation where Dokja continues to insult Joonghyuk but he doesn't return it in kind. Joonghyuk is very blunt about his love for Dokja - which is good - but Dokja doesn't do the same back, and for some reason that's fine, and then Joonghyuk also no longer has those very human moments of annoyance when Dokja does some stupid shit. Like I guess I could understand the characterization of Dokja being emotionally constipated cause he's kind of a traumatized control freak and I can see how getting him to talk about his feelings is like trying to get a cat into a bathtub, but it's not like Joonghyuk isn't also like that? It's not really as much of a compelling relationship if one person is telling the other everything, giving care in words of affection and the other person isn't returning it. And you could depict that returned care in other ways, absolutely, but again I don't see it in other ways either, because those stories are still so Dokja centric.

Another factor is that I find that I can't really like a ship in a work where one of the characters is elevated to a point where they can't do anything wrong. Where their own needs are always at the forefront and their partner is always catering to it. Like a relationship is a give and take. We focus a lot on Dokja's trauma - which I love, that man needs sO MUCH THERAPY and it's an interesting topic to explore - but we don't focus on the amount of shit Joonghyuk has had to go through. I very rarely see a shipping fic where Dokja tries to address Joonghyuk's trauma or his hurt. Physical hurt sure, maybe, but that other shit that Joonghyuk bottles up?? Never talked about. My man has had to keep living lives over and over again. Has had to see people he love die, make hard choices. There is no way he's not traumatized to shit, and I'd like that to be a focus some of the time, y'know? Moreover, of all people, Dokja would be the one to understand him the most? One, he's the only one who really knows the whole truth about Joonghyuk, or as much of it as you can, and two, they both have taken on very burdensome leadership roles in a situation where few would be able to understand their position - it makes sense for them to lean on each other mutually, and so far there's a very prominent skew, only an exploration on one side.

And I pretty much haven't seen a shipping fic with Dokja and Joonghyuk where Joonghyuk has recieved any form of platonic comfort from the other characters. I've seen plenty for Dokja. Where he gets comforted/helped by both Joonghyuk and all the other characters. But not for Joonghyuk. If y'all have any recs where Joonghyuk has that, PLEASE recommend it because I need. And sure, it can be argued that Joonghyuk is a hard man to know considering his prickliness but regardless, he DOES have canonical platonic relationships. People who care for him. Who would be protective over him if he were to get hurt. That is not something only Dokja has, and yet it's something I only ever see written for Dokja. Y'all need to remember that technically Dokja doesn't act like any less of an asshole sometimes than Joonghyuk. He's more outwardly approachable sure, but he's not necessarily sweet 100% of the time - he has grit and he's a rat bastard and that's my FAVOURITE FUCKING PART ABOUT HIM. The fact that he's a rat bastard and the fact that not everyone likes him. His interactions in a world where he does have to make hard choices or say things that put people at odds, or hurts others when he didn't mean to. I love that about Joonghyuk too. They suck and they both have so much capacity to be kind despite all the shit they've gone through, but they're not able to see that in themselves and they do bad things because they have to, and I think they're so fascinating.

Y'know out of all of this, I think what cracks me up is, knowing Dokja's character, he would be absolutely appalled at how centred all of it is on him only. Like. Like that's literally the opposite of what he wants 🤣🤣. Like I get that makes people want to do it more because he deserves it and whatnot which is valid but like. He would be quite disgruntled 🤣🤣🤣

#omniscient reader's viewpoint #omniscient reader #joongdok #dokjoong #kim dokja #yoo joonghyuk #shipping analysis #fandom analysis #minor spoilers for omniscient reader

[hostofyama]

Jason Grace deserves more recognition

As a person who read HoO first I had a unbiased perspective on the series I saw Jason for wat he was and idolized him for it he was one of the best shafted MC’s I’ve ever seen even throughout all the bs Rick put him through people forget to look at Jason’s life from a real life perspective he has one of the worst lives in the series even with the little information we kno this man was separated from his already dysfunctional family at 2! raised and trained by wolves until he was 3 then admitted into an army as a TODDLER keep in mind the camp is named after this man’s father with the expectations people had on him he was perceived more as a movie or comic character who u knew had to live up to the standards set what made it worst is Jason never wanted to be the chosen one but nonetheless he still never faltered bcuz in his mind if not him who else? constantly met or exceeded the expectations over and over furthering this image no one considering how he felt or what he thought when it came to himself fast forward Jason has served 12 years in the legion the most for his age in history and risen through the ranks as a compassionate composed leader it took the Nico moment for people to see Jason’s empathy but even as far back as choosing his cohort they wanted to automatically admit him to the first cohort and best cohort but he chose the shunned and frowned upon 5th cohort out of dislike of the stereotype and to try to alter his destiny of a son of Jupiter making his own path he brought glory to it by accomplishing all sorts of things such as killing the Trojan sea monster which was said to be the size of a sky scraper, killing ghouls and returning bacchus leopard,and the feat that rose him to the rank of praetor when he fought krios won and toppled Kronos throne Jason tried to be the best praetor he could even trying to change sum traditions such as the name of the legion to 1st symbolizing renewal Jason’s entire career at Camp Jupiter had been built on careful choices. He mediated between demigods, listened to all sides of an argument, and made compromises. He was always the leader and never on a team of equals now after doing everything everyone expected of him never really taking the time to think much of his desires or personal life in general shown by him not being aware of reyna’s feelings Jason just grew to fill the shoes he was given even if he didn’t want to wear them THEN the person who took him from his family wiped his memory and put him on a bus with 2 people with false memories claiming to be his friend and gf I don’t understand how people don’t get how disorienting that is atleast Percy remembered annabeth he still got the better treatment even though Jason got shafted his whole life and writing wise also under is a short post I made about people ignoring Jason’s life personality and feats sorry for the rant but I hate that jason couldn’t catch a break in life death or reality and don’t get me started on what Rick did to him and piper in ToA😞

It’s as if jason story doesn’t exist bcuz rick doesn’t fully tell it people give so many accurate defenses for Jason and most get brushed off or unheard it’s crazy how a undisputed top 3 demigod of his generation lore and logic wise is disrespected so much there was literally a trend on TikTok of Jason saying he could’ve killed percy and it being treated as a joke AS IF ANY OTHER CHARACTER COULD SAY THE SAME OR LEGITIMATELY GIVE HIM A CHALLENGE without amps 🤦🏾‍♂️ ts is ridiculous he barely have feats and people still ignore them like how many of y’all kno this man had a hand in slaying the most giants and was the only one to 1v1 one and hold his ground for an extended period of time then proceed to fight wolves and injure the king giant shit doesn’t make any sense I’m also here for any LOGICAL disputes

#jasongrace #jason grace appreciation squad #the lost hero

[kendrixtermina]

Hello.

I stumbled across your blog whilst trying to ease my mind about the whole Rammstein situation. I really have given up trying to reason with it by myself, so I'm not here for that. What I do want is to perhaps share some feelings as someone who was also inspired by Rammstein.

You suggested that you felt embarrassed for having advocated for their work, and I feel the same. I spoke at length at their amazing word choice, the well-considered framing, and just the storytelling in general, and now it all feels very hollow. I feel like I was an idiot. I tell myself the works still stand on their own. That there is too much evidence and consistency across their catalogue to suggest this wasn't done with forethought. You are not foolish. You read it correctly. They did not approve of these things.

I like to think one can find the truth of another's values by looking through their words, but now I wonder if that was the belief used to fool me.

This whole situation is a mess. I don't know what I really came here for other than to level with someone who I believe understands what I feel. I guess, what I am asking is: how do you feel?

Well, I wrote that initial thing when I was still in shock & very much trying to err on the side of caution cause it's serious stuff that you don't want to take lightly. I wanted to honestly consider that it might be true and what that would mean.

Having looked into it & read a bunch of accounts by ppl who were actually at the parties on reddit & just trying to dig up what information is there from newspaper interviews etc, I do not, at present, think that anything worse transpired than Till consensually boinking a bunch of groupies & some other people being uncomfortable with that & filtering everything they saw through Fear Brain.

The accounts consistently portray him as asking before doing anything, backing away when someone says no, and even the ppl who had genuinely shitty experiences say they agreed to everything & that there was continuous communication.

I think at very least the spiking stuff is definitely not true. There was a rule of opening drinks in front of the guests for the entire backstage area so exceptions would have been noticed (unless the crew & the other band members were all in on it - not impossible but unlikely.)

Apparently it's pretty common for ppl to fear they've been spiked when they just had too much booze but the symptoms are actually pretty different - from what I've heard of ppl who were actually spiked you would feel super groggy/sick within 30 minutes and be completely unconscious or nearly so soon after, out like a light. You aren't continuing to sit there let alone walking home on your own - the perps often offer to drive you home or have some nearby room ready to do the deed in.

Part of me wonders how much of this is Neo-Puritans getting up in arms over adult women wanting to screw a creative, intelligent & charismatic person of their own free will even though he's got a few wrinkles. (which is why I'm grateful that Schneider's statement adressed the paternalism issue) But of course some people having positive experiences doesn't mean that everyone did.

So another part of me is still reserving judgement in that if the prosecutors turn up something to the contrary of that, I want to be ready to accept that I was mistaken. Would be deluded to claim that it cannot be because my 1337 hipster art interpretation skills say otherwise or fancy myself some great detective when I'm just an internet rando who despite my best attempts probably cannot be unbiased.

If the spiking thing had been true or is proven to be true in the future, (or anything about people being unable to leave) that's Burn In Hell territory because of the sheer disregard for other human beings that such an act implies, but at present I just don't think the fact pattern suggests it to be true.

#rammstein #till lindemann

[hologramcowboy]

You're one of the most pathetic people here. You overanalyzing someone from acting to personal life. You have no life outside and your fave is boring, that's why you're here blogging about someone you don't like. The funniest thing is that only jared fans think that he's a good and highly trained actor when in reality people know him as a joke outside of the fandom. Maybe read some critics reviews and comments on imdb, twitter and reddit, most people there are not from the fandom and they are likely unbiased. Maybe you don't want to see it because you're delusional.

Maybe you don't see it because you have no experience when it comes to acting or the industry. Have you ever considered that? 🤣🤣🤣 Wow, gaslighting done by a Jared hating Jensen stan, I am shook. 🤣 Such intelligence. Much class. My fav is Jensen so are you saying Jensen is boring? Or are you playing the bully and deciding who my favorite really is? Wow, such power. I could care less about what GA thinks, I judge an actor by the impact the creates, the humanity he has and the professionalism he demonstrates. Being an Actor goes deeper than just embodying a role, do you even know what the origin story of actors is and WHY actors are important to society? Of course not, that kind of knowledge and awareness is way out of your league. All you know is bullying out of frustration due to living a limited, unfulfilled life.

I have no life outside? As in if i step outside I die? lol Might wanna brush up on your grammar and logic there, buddy. So not only do you get to make up who my fav is you also get to make up what my life is like and yet I'm supposed to be the delusional one? Entertaining. 🤣

Let's look at reality, for a moment, together:

Is Jared repped by one of the biggest agencies in Hollywood? Yes.

Is Jared a Leading Man? Yes.

Is Jared highly respected within his industry by his peers? Yes.

Is Jared is a privileged position as an actor who is also an e.p. on his dream project that gets shot in his home town, something some will only ever dream of during their lifetime and never achieve? Yes.

Is Jared one of the most attractive and admired tv stars of his generation? Yes.

Is Jared a highly trained actor? Yes, Jared is a professionally trained actor.

Does Jared exemplify great humanity as an artist? Yes. In so many ways, I can't even begin listing them because this post will become endless.

Finally, since you are clearly an AA, stomach this:

Is Jared more successful than Jensen at the moment? Yes. Yes. Yes. Jared is at Leading Man tier while Jensen is at Guest Star. For your reference, Jared is at the highest tier a tv actor can reach, not only that but the success of his show rested solely on his image initially before people got acquainted with the story. So that's how powerful and recognizable Jared's brand is, he did a remake of a show that strays from the original and the show survived because people love to see him on screen telling stories.

"People know him as a joke outside of fandom" is a blatant, gaslighting, shameless lie and the only pitiful one here is you for even remotely needing to make anyone less in any way, especially someone as successful and appreciated as Jared Padalecki, who has earned the respect of his audience so deeply he is the single reason his show is thriving. Jared is the very definition of a Leading Man.

#anti jared hate #anti aas

[binch-i-might-be]

hey ray i was thinking about getting pet rats when i can & researching stuff about them and then remembered that i literally know a real live person who owns rats. and four (4) of them too

would you say rats are expensive or hard to take care of? i've heard some people say they're beginner pets and other people dispute that. generally, do they need a lot of attention and care? also, i know this is different per country but how much did they cost on average?

also out of pure curiosity, have you litter trained your rats?? i was reading something about it and it said it's easy to do it. i need to weigh on an expert's opinion

ohoho what an incredible idea! (<- totally unbiased). thank you for considering me a real live person <3

okay so I actually kind of disagree with the concept of "beginner pets" overall because literally every pet you could get is a living being that requires care and attention. I think this mainly comes from people being uneducated about the needs of small animals like fish or rodents and assuming their lack of knowledge is equivalent with a lack of things to know.

that said, I don't consider rats hard to take care of, but that's because I enjoy spending time with the lads! cleaning in and around their enclosure takes a while, but it's not too bad when you throw on a youtube video and also pet a rat lmao

regarding costs, I think rats are probably amongst the lowest cost pets you can have–aside from insects or arachnids. that doesn't mean they're cheap tho!

the most expensive thing will be the cage, because you need a fairly big one. I paid 300€ for my current one that fits four rats (and that was on sale, the original price was over 400 lol). the cage furnishings will also cost you a good chunk of change, but they usually last for a while and don't have to be replaced too often.

regarding food, I usually buy a good brand 2.5kg rat food bag and another 500g dried vegetable bag every like three to four weeks and supplement with fresh food and treats from the food I eat. costs me about 17-20€

bedding is also something you'll have to buy often. it depends on what brand and size you buy–I recently switched from buying small packs of bedding (60l) to buying LARGE ones (500l), because it's cheaper for me in the long run. just sucks that I gotta lug those 20kg of bedding up the two flights of stairs to my flat <3 (I pay 18€ for those big ones I think, and they last a good few weeks)

now, the thing that's most likely to gut your wallet is vet bills. especially as rats get older, they tend to develop a lot of ailments like tumors or respiratory problems. that can easily cost you several hundred bucks in one go. I'm lucky to have fairly healthy boys, so I only had to bring them to the vet the one time! still cost me 75€ tho lmao

it depends from where you get your rats. I got them from the pet shop and paid I think 16€ per lad.

also about them needing attention, it's best to keep rats in a place where you also keep yourself. they like being around their human! and they need a decent amount of enrichment and play, as they're very intelligent little guys :)

I have not litter trained them, but tbh I didn't see a need to. rats will usually just pick a corner in their cage and designate that as the Poop Corner. I'm sure you could do that quite easily tho, and it would probably save you some cleaning up

anyway tldr: rats are wonderful little critters who are full of love and have sparkly little eyes and will outwit you with their wits tied behind their back. but you will have to invest time to be with them/make sure their enclosure is clean, and have to be prepared to drop a LOT of money should one of them get sick! they also only live to 2-3 years old which is unfair and cruel. things to keep in mind!

#i hope i actually answered everything in here. i got distracted #i love talking about rats. as you can probably tell! #little angels :) #ask

[werewolfetone]

where other than wikipedia are you learning 1798 stuff from? I’ve been kinda interested in it for a while but i’m having trouble finding stuff, especially books, about it that i can easily access

Before I get into this, disclaimer I'm not the biggest expert on it yet, I'm learning too, so what I say isn't as concrete and my opinions will likely change.

And second disclaimer, most of these are pretty old. It isn't the most recent scholarship, mostly because that's difficult to get online and there isn't always a lot of it. Most of this older writing is still more or less sound, though.

That being said! Books, divided into government and rebel. The ones that I could find a way to access them for free online, I've linked.

Government:

You can't get this one online afaik but I would really recommend Castlereagh: A Life by John Bew. It isn't just about 1798 (though it does go over it in detail, specifically from the government's perspective, in the first part of the book), but I'd recommend giving it a read if you're interested in '98 because Castlereagh gets brought up a LOT and there are a lot of. hm. conflicting opinions on him, to put in mildly. so you're going to want to understand him at least vaguely, and this is the most recent/best biography of him that I know of.

William Pitt The Younger by William Hague. Pitt wasn't directly involved, exactly, but he was the PM at the time and it's good to understand him if you want to understand the wider political scene of the time. This is also good because it gives you an intro into who Charles James Fox was, and his relationship with the government and Pitt.

Rebel:

William Orr by Francis Joseph Bigger. This is just about Orr's execution, but that was a very influential event that you're definitely going to want to know about in detail. And theoretically, I would also recommend the rest of Bigger's The Northern Leaders of '98 series, but I can't actually find any of them online so I'm not sure how to read them.

RR Madden wrote a whole series on... pretty much all of the rebels, including the lesser known ones. His accounts of it are notable because to write them he actually interviewed people who knew the rebels (and McCracken's section was written by his sister Mary Ann McCracken! which is pretty cool).

DISCLAIMER I HAVEN'T STARTED READING THIS YET but I've got the book History of the Irish Insurrection of 1798 by Edward Hay, which seems promising.

Memoirs of Wolfe Tone, which was written by the man himself. I've juuust started reading this one.

I was literally reading Women of '98 by Constance Markievicz as I got this ask. It's really more of an essay but it's pretty good so far.

The Life And Death of Lord Edward Fitzgerald (volumes one and two are both linked) by Thomas Moore. This is about Lord Edward specifically and I really liked it.

I should probably add just to try to be as unbiased as possible that all of what I just recommended to you on the rebels was, as far as I know, written by Republicans. If you want to read Unionist opinions on the rebels of '98... uh... go ahead... but personally I've not read any so you'll have to find those yourself.

Also, neither of them were directly involved in the rebellion and neither of them were Irish but if you're doing general research and you want to understand some of the political ideas the United Irishmen were inspired by, you ought to read Paine and Wollstonecraft, specifically Rights of Man, Common Sense, and A Vindication For The Rights of Women. And *deep sigh* I guess you might also give Burke's Reflections On The Revolution In France a read, if only to understand another major political viewpoint in Ireland at the time. Having at least a basic idea of the timeline and ideas of the French Revolution is also pretty important, Wikipedia is probably fine for that but if you're a bit more interested I would recommend Liberty Or Death by Peter McPhee.

#also feel free to ask me questions if you've got them. i love excuses to do specific research lmao #1798 rebellion #irish history #j bew #fj bigger #rr madden #c markievicz #thomas paine #edmund burke #mary wollstonecraft #books #ref #< for me. to be able to find this post again #asks #anon

[butterflyrry]

I’ve been sitting with My Policeman thoughts for a few days but here goes…

I know a lot of people got stuck with some disrespectful audiences, giggling and behaving inappropriately. Thankfully, this wasn’t an issue for me. I only heard someone laugh one time, which was during a scene with Marion and Julia. Marion says some not so nice things and Julia puts her in her place, which is what the person laughed at…like haha, you had that coming. Otherwise, everyone was very quiet. I’ll get back to that.

Aesthetically, it’s gorgeous. Just beautiful shots of the sea, Tom and Marion’s little cottage, the swimming scenes, the museum, Venice. The sex scenes (well, the Patrick/Tom sex scenes) are beautifully done. So passionate yet tender and loving. When Harry’s name appeared on screen during the opening credits, my cold little heart just swelled with pride.

I thought all of the actors were fantastic and each shined in their own way. Emma flawlessly demonstrated Marion’s anger and desperation. Gina was just so elegant and beautiful as older Marion. David’s face and eyes are so expressive, which really drew me into the character of Patrick. Rupert expressed older Patrick’s emotions without really speaking and without much movement. (I have loved him since My Best Friend’s Wedding!). Linus was a lovely representation of older Tom, capturing many of Harry’s mannerisms and general likeness.

And Harry…I know there’s been a lot of criticism toward his acting but overall, I thought he did well. He really conveys Tom’s innocence and confusion. There’s one scene that I wished for a little more intensity from him but he has some strong moments as well. He’s particularly good in the scene where Tom is drunk. I think many critics were already biased against him, so even if he had given an Oscar worthy performance, they were still not going to praise him. As Harry’s fans, I think it’s extremely difficult for us to see him as anyone but the Harry we know and love, so we’re probably not the most unbiased either.

There are a few things I wish they would’ve expanded on but there’s only so much that can be included in a two hour movie. Reading the book filled in some of those gaps, but if you haven’t read it…there may be some questions. My biggest criticism of the book and the movie is that Tom is really a blank slate. Both Patrick and Marion are in love with him but it’s unclear why, other than how handsome he is. Of course, with Harry playing Tom, it’s somewhat understandable, just based on his natural charm and charisma. But we don’t get much in terms of his thoughts, feelings, motivations. We mostly see him through the lens of the other two characters.

I cried for the last twenty minutes of the movie. During one of the last scenes, I was full on sobbing. At this point, I was beginning to fear that my fellow moviegoers had all died because I heard not a peep. Not one sniffle. Maybe they’re quiet criers. Maybe they’re dead inside. Maybe I’m a freak. I don’t know. When I was leaving (practically running to my car so no one would see what a mess I was), I heard people very casually discussing it who didn’t seem to be emotional at all.

This movie is one that will stay with me for awhile. It’s a truly heartbreaking story. It’s devastating to think that there were (and still are) people who could not live as their true selves. There were at least two moments in the film that I found myself wondering if they resonated with H. How I wish he could be out there speaking his truth about why this role meant so much to him, but you can’t have everything, I guess.

Anyway, that’s my two cents.

#my policeman #harry styles #david dawson #emma corrin #linus roache #rupert everett #gina mckee

[cherryhua]

Alright, let me start by saying that I am a huge Hua Hua fan, and he is my ultimate favourite character in all MXTX books specifically, and the danmei genre in general.

going into details on why i like him is not the goal of this post.the reason why i am making this, is to answer to a "hate" thread regarding Hua cheng.

the main points this thread uses are the following, and i will try to answer each point individually :

- Beautiful as hell and more pretty than anyone else

- He is a static and underdeveloped character

- Always has the best sense of humor

- Can be obnoxious and get away with it

- Has an endless array of powers

- Tragic backstory

- Was bullied as a child

- Is always right

- the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods comes off as creepy stalker and not romantic

- Beautiful as hell and more pretty than anyone else :

while reading TGCF we need to keep in mind that we are reading the story through Xie Lian's point of view, reason why some parts of the story do sound biased, sometimes ambiguous, sometimes unreliable..etc. the description that Hua cheng is the most beautiful creature that ever set foot on the face of the universe, is how Xie Lian sees Hua cheng,and doesn't mean it's true. After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right ? ( well, if i am being honest the man is fine AF.. I mean have you seen the manhua et STARember arts hehe *wink*wink).We can all agree that not all the characters present in the book share the same opinion, and definitely everyone has their fair share of beauty, even Qi Rong of all people. So, is Hua Cheng "Beautiful as hell and more pretty than anyone else"? From an unbiased point of view, HC is as beautiful as any other character present in the novel. From Xie Lian's ( and my ) point of view : then YES he is, god darn it !, from "haters" point of view : he's an obnoxious, evil, one eyed a**hole.

- He is a static and underdeveloped character :

I wholeheartedly disagree, and no I am not talking as a fan here, but as a long time Danmei and yaoi reader. People compare TGCF's Hua cheng's character development with MDZS's Wei Ying and SVSSS's Liui Binghe, which in my opinion is not fair. Those are 3 completely different books: in SVSSS the story is told through Shen yuan's point of view, but the reason why LBG's character development is so heavily explained too, is because She Yuan's whole journey ( and life ) depends on it. In MDZS, the story again is told through WWX's point of view, the reason why we got to witness his rise, downfall, "humbling" arc, and finally his happy ending. However, in TGCF, the story is about Xie Lian's journey,and how he learned to love himself again , through the effort of a man who never had loved himself. We do get glimpses about HC's backstory, and arc, but MXTX doesn't go into details because it's not about Hua Cheng, and it's up to us readers to read between the lines. if you compare HC's arc, to any other character's arc, you'll find that Hua cheng's Arc was at its end, when the novel started, and other than dying, getting exposed or arrested, no other character, other than Xie Lian's, get any real development because again, it's not about them, and it never was.

- Always has the best sense of humor:

Again, the story is told through Xie Lian's point of view. The man has literally set his password to "Just recite the Ethics Sutra a thousand times" as a joke and found it extremely funny, so the bar here is really low.

- Can be obnoxious and get away with it :

Hua Cheng never gets away with anything, he is obnoxious to other people that aren't Xie Lian, that's true, but no one ever claimed that he was a good person. Hua cheng's whole existence is set around Xie Lian's, and yes he doesn't give a crap about anyone else because no one ever gave a crap about him too, other than Xie Lian who gave him a reason to live and saved his life twice, everyone else was just either bullying him, beating him or just straightforwardly mean. and to Claim that HC is just a bad guy is also false, he never harmed ( or harm ) innocents, he took Yin Yu under his wing ( a fallen God may i add ), he build up Ghost city with his own hands and gave ghosts a place where they can be themselves, he gave refuge to a ghost female who killed her r*pist, and the list goes on.

So no, Hua Cheng isn't your misunderstood 'bad boy' here, nor is he the shining white knight MC.

- Has an endless array of powers :

Man, I am seriously wondering if those people read the book ? the man literally dies at the end when he gave all his spiritual powers to Xie Lian, and don't get me started on him dying twice before. So no, he doesn't have an endless array of power, but he is powerful, the man is a ghost king after all, what did you expect ?!

- Tragic backstory :

this is very debatable in my opinion. everyone in TGCF has a tragic story in in it's own way : look at Jun wu, He Xuan, SQX and SWD, LW or the Rain master, heck even Qi Rong's backstory is tragic, and don't get me started on Xie lian's backstory. So yes, Hua Cheng's backstory is tragic, but isn't any more tragic than any other character.

- Was bullied as a child :

His bullying story is very relevant to why Hua Cheng had such a pessimistic, angry view of the world. I would've agreed that it's a little mary sue-ish, if he was described as this talented, beautiful, good child who's been bullied by the mean ugly people, but it wasn't the case. HC wasn't anything special, he come from a poor normal background, he was described, as being called ugly, and someone who brought evil fortune and bad luck.also Hua Cheng is heavily, heavily, heavily implied to be H'mong so he is ultimately ethnically marginalized,

impoverished child who, through sheer determination and wits, is able to rise above the position he was born in and create his own future, not because he was this Mary Sue character.

- Is always right :

again Hua Cheng wasn't born to be this very special, smart, talented person, but through his hard work, determination and tenacity was able to control his fate, and change it. It's true that he is very knowledgeable, but the man spent 800 years teaching himself the art of the sword and secrets of the universe. Why, you may ask ? Hua Cheng wanted to be the strongest, in order to protect Xie Lian ( and also avenge him ). What Hua Cheng has now, isn't something that fell into him from the sky, or was born with it, he worked very VERY VERY hard to get it.

- The Cave of Ten Thousand Gods comes off as creepy stalker and not romantic :

When Hua Cheng was in that cave for 10 years, his mind was filled with one thing : his God, Xie Lian. Why ? because Xie Lian is his motivation, his reason to live, and the reason why he is in that cave to begin with. The statues were never done out of malice, or bad intentions, it was done out of devotions and admirations. Just like a fan collecting merchandise and posters of their favourite artist. I personally don't find it creepy, but i believe it's due to cultural differences. so many words and instances in the book do not translate gracefully in English. Besides, the Story is heavily relying on Taoism as a concept. so i think it's unfair to apply western ideologies to a Chinese novel, based on Chinese folklore and ideologies, directed to a Chinese audience. The cultural aspect of the book must be kept in mind, in order to enjoy it.

#anime and manga #writing #donghua #tgcf manhua #manhwua #hua cheng

[max-osb]

Viral videos can take the shape of many different forms: different topics, content, and for different reasons. They can range from cute cat videos, music videos, or even strike some sense of controversy. One viral video of recent memory was the video with the Kentucky High School students and the Native American Vietnam Veteran. For anyone who isn’t yet familiar with the story and content of the video, it featured several high school students from Kentucky in front of a Native American Vietnam Veteran playing traditional music. The two parties nearly get into a face off with each other. The video went viral because all the students were wearing Make America Great Again (MAGA) hats in support of right-wing ex-president Donald Trump who is infamous for liberal groups by being very closed off to immigration and for not being very representative of a lot of minority groups. And a lot of people interpreted the events where the Kentucky high school students were mocking or being condescending to the Native American. Others thought that these inferences were too far of a reach and that people were reading too much into nothing. The way that the media reacted was equally polarizing based off of the news stations and how they tended to lean politically. The story spread like wildfire through the country. Left leaning groups jumped on the video as it seems like a symbol of white supremacy as one of the students got in the face of the Native American veteran, smirking in what many believed in a condescending and boastful manner. One of the students in the background was described as even performing racially insensitive gestures of tomahawks toward the veteran. The right leaning groups thought that the criticism of the the students was unwarranted and Donald Trump even weighed in saying that the students were symbols of fake news and how dangerous it can be. Sites like Deplorablekel claim to have the truth behind the events and say that the students themselves were victims of racial slurs and that any white supremacy connotations in the video were untrue. Sites like CNN that are known for being left leaning tried to stay as unbiased as possible and conceding to the general taunting done on all sides that day. This however, came after the main high school student who was staring down the Native American veteran filed a lawsuit against several news publications like CNN and the Washington Post for their negative reporting on the student. Ultimately, I believe that the public did tend to jump a bit too prematurely at the content of the video without understanding the context and how both sides (with another group taunting the students) had some level of disdain for each other. I think that the symbol of the Make America Great Again hats is such a polarizing symbol that has such strong connotations for a lot of people that it was easy to elicit strong emotional reactions for people. And while I do personally think that there was an air of mockery from the students I think the video still has too little to really condemn the students.

[mbti-enemies]

Hello! First of all I want to say I love your blog. Your MBTI dynamics posts, your knowledge and takes, the general atmosphere of your blog, this all is fantastic, and I was super happy when I found it. I don’t know if you’re comfortable with people asking you those questions so if it’s not feel free to not reply and I’m sorry I bothered you.

Anyway, I’ve been into MBTI for quite a long time. I know all the types descriptions, I know how cognitive functions work, I know what loops are, I learnt about enneagram thanks to MBTI, I can easily (well, or not easily, it depends) type fictional characters and people around me. But the problem is that I still have no idea who I am. This is not like I want to get to know myself better, I just feel a bit uncomfortable about knowing about MBTI and thinking about it literally every day, whereas still not being able to type the most obvious person to me - myself.

One of the reasons for it, I think, is that I actually know how it works and it’s difficult for me to remain unbiased. For quite a while I used to think I was INFJ but upon learning Ni was the rarest function, the literal thing I said was: “Nah, that’s impossible. I can’t be so unique.” Anyway, learning more information about this function didn’t help much because I still don’t quite understand its meaning with that general descriptions about insights and being able to predict the future or whatever.

Although I have to admit I notice it happening sometimes but I’m pretty sure it applies to just one aspect of my life. I’m a writer, and there were several time when I got ideas for my book out of the air while the basic thinking process (like, I think about something absolutely random and bam! I know what I’m going to include in the next chapter even though just a second ago my mind was blank). I don’t what this thing is, and maybe it actually has nothing to do with introverted intuition but it happens quite often.

I know another characteristic of Ni is being able to read between the lines and finding hidden meanings behind the things. This is something I also do, but again, it mostly applies to writing. I love choosing meaningful names and birth dates for my characters, I love using symbols and foreshadowings and making parallels/connections. Everything in my story is connected, and I really can’t imagine writing in any other way. I want everything to make sense and meaning.

Although I can notice the same happening in my real life. I love analyzing and getting to the bottom of the things because I want to have a deep understanding of them. For this reason I also love psychology. I remember watching one random cartoon with my Mom, and even though it’s clearly meant for children, I began to delve into the main character’s personality, trying to understand why other characters treated him that way. At that point I probably was overanalyzing but it really happened naturally, and my Mom admitted she didn’t think about it from that perspective when she watched it.

When I got into psychology, I started analyzing my life to understand why I’m like this and what I can do with that information to build my future. I can say I’m quite future-oriented and I’m not usually absorbed by my past but I learn from that and connect it with my present, which I’m pretty sure is a Si trait.

And now, I’ll start questioning me being intuitive, because I know this is their thing to have quite an eloquent speech, they’re abstract in their expressions, whereas, well, I’m not. My speech is direct and free from metaphors. I get to symbolism in my writing only.

I know intuitive types tend to be innovative and prefer creating their own ways of completing any tasks and to be fair, I have no idea whether I can relate to it. I usually need instructions to have my tasks done but I feel like it’s mostly because I like order and want to make sure I do everything right, while I don’t want to take anyone’s work as an example and prefer doing it my own way, the way it works easier and more natural to me.

It’s really difficult for me to get who I can be: intuitive or sensory, because I feel like my intuitive part takes over only my creative side, whereas my daily life is more sensory, because I’m goal-oriented and strive to bring all of my goals to life. I don’t want to daydream, I want to take action and be in charge of my life. If I get an idea, I want to fulfill it as soon as possible and at times I might get way too result-oriented, completely forgetting about enjoying the process of work. I usually know where to start and what I’m supposed to achieve but it’s difficult to fill the middle of it.

Maybe my last point sounds like my dominant function is Te but I really doubt it because I’m clearly introverted. As I mention, I like order plus I might get annoyed with disorganized people in charge, thinking I could handle it better yet I’m pretty shy and timid and see no point in being bossy. I’m not a team player and prefer working alone. 

I think Te is my auxiliary function, which makes me lean towards ITJ but I’m not sure again. I can’t say I’m people-oriented but this is important to me to be appreciated and I think too much about how other people picture me. I suppose it might be a Fe trait but I can’t say I’m in touch with people’s feelings. 

Whenever someone shares their feelings with me, I just stare at them and don’t know what to say, usually trying to get the reason why they’re upset instead of encouraging them (or I just hug them because I don’t know what to say). For this reason I prefer messaging because it gives me more time to put my thoughts together and say something encouraging instead of fearing to make them feel worse. 

When it comes to my own emotions, I usually don’t have strong ones. I might get angry but I never make scenes because I see no point in that and I know I’ll regret it later. When anyone makes me upset or even depressed, I tend to hide it to myself because I don’t want to weigh the person who hurt me with my problems. I know it’s weird but I simply don’t want to be a burden and do tend to think that I’m the one who’s responsible for all my downs.

Anyway, it turned out extremely long so I’ll end here. I don’t know if any of this gives you any hints which type I am but if you can type me, I’d really appreciate it! I personally lean towards INTJ, ISTJ, INFJ, and *maybe* INTP but I’m not sure.

Thank you for running this blog and I hope you both are having a great day! 

okay so neither of usq ute get the question here cause you seemed to have ans3ered it pretty well yourself - intj it is.

you said Te, and introverted, so definitely like ISTJ/INTJ. IXFJs kinda have to be ok with other people's feelings, unless there's a specific reason for not being so.

with the whole Ni vs Si , just cause youre an action taker who actively strives towards your goals doesnt mean your not an intutivite , it j shows the Te side of you which prefers makin your dreams come to life rather than j daydream ocer it . the whole loving anaysing and getting into psycholoyg def gives Ni vibes as well. also learning from ur past is def not just an si trait like it's just a good thing to do yk, don't make the same mistakes twice ofc.

i know we haven't given you any good reasons for being an Ni dom but honestly we can't quite tell you how it worls either soo um, thinking backwards and going deeper into a situation/proble and letting yourself get a lil lost in amongst teh swathes reality brdering the rel of fantastu to ake the place you cak home in ur mind

also

intj and infj

-----

okay hello sorry we're back i don't really know how to cope with this force who can't spell smt - idek what the last bullet point @intj what did the last bullet point mean? that it's from both of us?

I guess what we're trying to say is that you give off intj vibes. the Te seems quite clear, and as for caring about what others think of you, I think this is compatible still. you phrase this in a way that puts Fi at the root: "this is important to me to be appreciated". Fe and Te are decision making functions, at the end of the day, they just direct you to how you make most your decisions. is it based on the way others may feel, or what just makes sense within a system?

Your love for understanding this and getting to the bottom of them really seems to point to Ni. Si does this too, but in a more factual way, prefering to reach solid stable blocks of knowledge rather than a vaguer understanding. I think the instability of mbti can sometimes deter Si doms from it, and so your extreme interest in mbti gives more intj vibes. direct speech is a very Te thing- Ni vs Si will have little to do with this externally projected trait. speech is for those around you, not for you. intj over here also talks very directly; on the few times she hasn't her voice goes slightly wavy, slightly softer, a slight strain. she can't speak properly as she switches into the speech that mirrors her writing at points. it can be hard to spot ni through your thought, especially because in general dominant functions are so easily used that it feels like the most natural thing; wHat dO YOu MEaN i uSed nI? so your writing feels like a good indicator of your dominant function; in it is both a preference for Ni and a natural inclination towards it.

also anon, your writing sounds so wonderful. i wanna read.

wait also forgot to say, ty for the compliments on our blog! we are incredibly flattered.

#sorry this was a bit chaotic we'l be back to edit im so sorry #intj

[god-fucking-dammit-mizutani]

“I’m still pushing my narrative [Taichi and Koushirou] were never foreshadowed as drifting,” isn’t really too much of a reach actually when I think about it because I’m pretty sure the Tri staff writers in that one interview literally said pushing Koushirou off to the side (for Yamato) was an active decision they all made?? Like not something that was just naturally happening?

That’s kind of what that first paragraph here is saying, right? Or am I totally off base?

#I haven't been feeling great so maybe I'm reading it wrong #plus tone and translation could be a root issue of any misunderstanding #but it seems like they were like 'we chose to change Taichi and Yamato's relationship' #and they had been talking about Yamato's character before so the line #'Koushirou was the one always by Taichi's side' #seems unprompted outside of saying like 'we know it was Koushirou we just changed the relationship and made him Advice Guy' #I only have what I've seen and heard about Tri to go on and I know they're still shown as friends/Taichi listens to him #but they aren't together a lot to my knowledge?? #and yeah that sounds like they didn't forget or that they just didn't do anything with it #like an oops we remembered in hindsight #but that they actively chose not to #I got one person who is generally unbiased to say that's how they read it too #but honestly don't take this as Actual Truth but just my interpretation of their words? #Like if someone has a different way of reading it I am all ears #the second scriptwriter saying Kou likes Taichi too much actually only started during part 4 apparently #but like at least one other agrees #anyway thanks as always for coming to the tagtalk #Shut up lala #Digimon is a Fun Series #tri criticism #not directly just mentioning their decisions #but then also Kizuna apparently kinda does it?? #but I think they were kind of probably going off from Tri.

[thegrapeandthefig]

Spiritual protection in the Greco-Roman world

This was this week's hot topic, so I'm using the opportunity to make some things clear from a purely hellenic and historical perspective. Needless to say I am tired of seeing modern magical concepts being slapped on ancient beliefs and I am not writing this post unbiased.

Amulets Etymologically, the word amulet probably means "something that can be carried". It's, personally speaking, my favorite type of protection. Technically speaking, an amulet could, therefore, be a lot of different things as long as they serve two main purposes: tutelage (protection) and prophylaxis (preventive).

Let's go through some of the most common types:

Bulla: typically given to male roman children 9 days after birth. It is worn like a locket where other amulets are placed (typically phalluses).

Lunula: a crescent moon pendant worn by little and young roman girls until their mariage.

Fascinum, tintinnabula and other phalli: the symbol of protection par excellence, found in many shapes and forms. The tintinnabula is more potent, as it also has bells, which are considered apotropaic as well. Bells could also be put around children's and animal's neck for a similar protective effect.  

The Eye (mati): still widely in use, it appears as soon as the 6th century BC on Greek cups. Sometimes added on the phallus for a double protective effect (also true for wings).

Gorgoneion: Often worn simply as a pendant and easily found a bit everywhere, from house thresholds to carved on bullae.

Hercules' Club:  late Antiquity amulets shaped like wooden clubs and most common in Roman Germany between the 2nd and 3rd centuries AD. An examplary speciment bears the inscription "Deo Herculi", thus confirming its link to Hercules hero worship.

Amulet strings: Mostly seen for Athenian children. It is a cord with several amulets attached to it that is worn diagonally (or on the chest) instead of around the neck so the child can't choke on it.

Garter and waist amulet strings: Mostly worn by Greek women. Their function is debated, but it seems that amulets that were worn this way might have had something to do with easing childbirth, menstruation and sexuality in general (eg. to avoid miscarriages or, the opposite, as a contraceptive).

Coiled snake ring/bracelet: Common protection for young Roman women. 

Depiction of gods on medaillons and other objects: quite a straightforward way to put yourself under the protection of a deity. Helios and Semele together seem to both have been a popular choice.

Coins: Especially old reused coins, sometimes pierced in the middle but not always. This is especially the case for coins which have the image of a deity or hero (Alexander the Great got very popular for this function). Other notable examples include Fortuna, Nike or Helios. The image on the coin matters more than the coin itself.

This is not even an extensive list, but it's worth noting that when we're talking about the ancients, we're talking about people who have been put under some kind of magical protection since their first days of life. I personally have used 2 types of amulet cited above so far, a silver coiled snake ring which I worn until it broke, which I replaced by a fascinum. This one travels with me, as I keep it with my apartment keys but I have 2 consecrated phalli in my apartment that also serve a purpose: one to Dionysus and one to Priapus. The latter being by definition, a protective deity. 

Protection starts at the threshold

I know this can be hard to pull off, but in ideal conditions, you’d want to have a small altar or shrine by the main door of your place. Amulets are meant to follow you around, but protecting your space is just as important. In one of the ridiculous arguments I’ve witnessed this week, someone said, and I paraphrase, that “you could have negative entity living in your house and fucking your life up” when trying to honor the gods, which is “why you should banish". The problem here is banish against what? If the answer here is "negative spirits", then, by hellenic standards, this is a whole other process that: 

1) Doesn't happen at the altar 2) Protects the household on the long term instead of a one shot thing

This, alongside other elements of ancient greek theology, is why you don't need to "protect yourself when you approach the gods" and other ridiculous claims I've seen. If you need to protect yourself in such manner, it means you never either 1) developped kharis with a deity to protect you or 2) took care of protecting your place. 

The first protection for a typical greek door would be an aniconic pillar dedicated to Apollo Agyieus aka "of the street" because that pillar was outside of the house. This Apollo, protector of entrances is also called Thyraios in later sources: 

Apud Graecos Apollo colitur qui Θυραῖος vocatur, eiusque aras ante fores  suas celebrant, ipsum exitus et introitus demonstrantes potentem. The Greeks worship Apollo under the name Thyraios and tend his altars in front of their doors, thereby showing that entrances and exits are under his power.

-Macrobius, Saturnalia 1.9.6

It's important to note that the same epithet is attested for Hermes, which makes total sense since he and Hekate are also traditionally linked to the protection of thresholds (represented by hekataia and herms). 

Why am I insisting so much on doors? To quote Johnston: 

"Divinities who guard the entrances to cities or private dwellings would be expected to avert all sorts of dangers that might threaten those dwelling within, from burglars to mice, but in ancient Greece (like many other places), they were particularly expected to ward off unhappy souls and other demonic creatures, who were believed to congregate at entrances for two reasons. First, because inhabitants vigilantly used protective devices to keep them out, these creatures were imagined to lurk near entrances, patiently awaiting those rare moments of laxity when they might dart back inside."

It's important to note that the protection granted by threshold deities, whether it is Hecate, Hermes or Apollo is that it concerns both the mundane and the spiritual, restless spirits are one thing but it seems to extend to general ills.

Conclusion

I should add, before wrapping this up, that there is an evolution in time with how the Ancients considered their protection to work. As such, between the 8th and 5th centuries BC, amulets weren’t so prevalent. The gods were considered the only ones who had the ability to protect. After the end of the 5th century onwards, there is a gradual shift towards a more “DIY” approach to protection, where human action is considered impactful, thus making the use of atropopaic amulets relevant. 

Further reading: 

Faraone C., The Transformation of Greek Amulets in Roman Imperial Times, 2018

Habib R. R.,  Protective Magic in Ancient Greece: Patterns in the Material Culture of Apotropaia from the Archaic to Hellenistic Periods, 2017

Johnston I. S., Restless Dead: Encounters between the Living and the Dead in Ancient Greece, 1999

Kerr M. D., Gods, Ghosts and Newlyweds: exploring the uses of the threshold in Greek and Roman superstition and folklore, 2018

Porto C, V.,  Material Culture as Amulets: Magical Elements and the Apotropaic in Ancient Roman World in: Philosophy Study, 2020

#hellenic polytheism #hellenic paganism #hellenic religion #hellenic polytheistic #hellenismos #ancient magic #greek magic #hekatedeity #apollodeity #hermesdeity #witchcraft #witchy #i can't believe yall made me write this

[urupotter]

So while I've said before that I don't like the HP subreddit, I still frequent it because occasionally I read something insightful. This is one such case, where I read a reading of Lupin that I'd never seen before in response to a comment of mine analyzing the shrieking shack confrontation between Snape, Remus, Sirius and the golden trio, where I mentioned that Lupin was a gaslighter so I wanted to share. It was created by reddit user u/UsuallySiSometimesNo and is posted here with his permission. We had a little conversation in the comments. Read it under the cut

UsuallySiSometimesNo: That struck a cord with me, too. I didn't think about that on a conscious level before, but when I read it, it felt instantly true.

Honestly, I think the strongest examples of Lupin gaslighting are actually done to himself. The biggest, character-defining example, I think, is that after finding friendship with James, Sirius, and Peter, he becomes so desperate not to be ostracized from them (due to his issues of self-worth and his personal brand of impostor syndrome) that he deliberately and routinely feeds himself false narratives about their behavior until he can no longer tell fact from fiction, even as he's experiencing it.

Their relentless bullying of Snape? A childhood rivalry.

Their casual bullying of other students? Kids being young and stupid.

Their clear disinterest verging on contempt for Peter, someone less fortunate and vulnerable with whom they're supposed to be good friends? Just mates being mates.

Even actions taken against Lupin, himself, are revised in his memory to be 'no big deal', because he desperately needs that to be true. Let's pretend for a moment that Snape indisputably deserved to be slaughtered by a werewolf the night Sirius told him how to get past the Whomping Willow. Sirius did not send Snape to be killed by any old werewolf. What happened that night was that Sirius - one of Remus' best friends, if not his actual best friend - attempted to use Remus' curse/illness against someone (which is a big enough betrayal on it's own) without ever telling Remus that when he woke up in the morning (covered in blood and in the presence of a shredded corpse) it would be to find that he had committed the act he was most petrified he might one day commit. In setting Snape up to be killed by Lupin, Sirius, at the very least, risked Lupin's sanity, and, at the very most, risked Lupin being sentenced to death.

Now, I understand that Sirius wasn't thinking about all of that when he did what he did, and I, as a someone removed from the situation (and armed with the additional character/situational knowledge granted to a reader) can even understand why Sirius' own trauma led him to grant such a blind death sentence to Snape (which I think is related to a point you made elsewhere, u/Adventure_Time_Snail, about Sirius' "violence towards those who trigger his fundamental fear of wizard fascists" because of his abusive upbringing). But Lupin's perspective is not one of an unbiased observer. And once James found out what was happening and pulled Snape back before it was too late (which, I would think, was more to save Lupin than to save Snape) and once Remus awoke the next to day to discover everything that transpired the night before, I find it hard to believe there wasn't at least some conversation about the true gravity of the situation. And yet, even all these years later, Lupin doesn't bat an eye when Sirius not only doesn't display shame when the event is mentioned in POA, but offers something akin to regret, NOT at the fact that his actions could have gotten Lupin killed, but that that they DIDN'T get Snape killed: "It served him right...", he sneered. etc. etc.

I think the obvious question here, is 'Even disregarding what Sirius did to Snape - how can Lupin be okay with the knowledge that Sirius has no regret, at all, for what he did to him, even now that they're adults?' Well, we're not in Lupin's point of view in the books, which means we can't hear his internal monologue, but I think a satisfactory answer to the question is that he's done a substantial amount of internal gymnastics in order to get to a point where he doesn't see this as a big deal, or even as something that he has a right to be upset about.... just like a gaslighter does to their victim.

Again, because we're not in Lupin's POV, we can't point to the exact instances that such internal gaslighting took place, but, based on what we do observe from Harry's POV (and based on external knowledge of gaslighting as a true-to-life concept) I wouldn't be surprised if Lupin so desperately needs everything to be okay that he derides himself for feeling bad or betrayed, that he calls himself stupid for thinking terrible things that have happened to him are a big deal, that he wars with himself about how people who are his friends and who are so good to him and who are better friends than he thinks he deserves could possibly do something to harm him/others, and that he beats down whatever emotions and senses and gut feelings he has that tells him something his friends have done might be very wrong. What we see in the books is a man who makes excuses for his friends and harbors a warped perception of reality in much the same way victims of gaslighting do, and he seems to exploit his own insecurities in order to instill doubt in his own experiences in much the same way perpetrators of gaslighting do.

I can't help but think that, by the time Lupin tells Harry that Snape harbors a particularly strong hatred for James because James was a better Quidditch player, Lupin has become so adept at gaslighting himself that he actually believes it.

tl;dr: One of Lupin's defining characteristics is that he gaslights himself out of a desperate need to be liked by others, since he has a difficult time liking himself and seems to believe all of his relationships are incredibly fragile.

Urupotter:

This is a fascinating reading on Lupin that I've never seen. I don't read him the same way, in that I think Lupin actually does know that what he's doing is wrong, he just doesn't have the moral courage to act on his conscience. (I view him as the anti Snape, great conscience, but abysmal moral courage, while Snape had unbelievable moral courage but a shitty conscience. Their arcs are about growing their moral courage and their conscience respectively) Realizing that his negligence almost got Harry killed is what triggers his arc, concluding when he goes back to Tonks and Teddy after running away, taking responsibility for his actions for the first time.

But this reading is so interesting that I'll have to reflect on it. Do you mind if I post it on my Harry Potter tumblr blog? I'll credit you of course, I would just like to discuss it with my followers. Of course if you don't want to I won't.

UsuallySiSometimesNo:

Honestly, I think the lack of in-depth conversation about Remus Lupin (at least compared to fan favorites Sirius Black and Severus Snape) is a missed opportunity and a shame. Don't get me wrong, I can discuss Sirius and Snape until blue in the face, but Lupin's arc is just as powerful in an understated (and often underestimated) way. The muddy, oversimplified truth is, without the fatal-flaw decision making of all four Marauders throughout their lives, the series of events proceeding the first chapter of the first book don't happen, and the story we all know and love never comes to be.

And speaking of sparking a discussion about Lupin...

I think Lupin actually does know that what he's doing is wrong, he just doesn't have the moral courage to act on his conscience.

You know what? I agree. And that's what makes him so interesting, I think. He is constantly and dependably full to bursting with internal conflict. When his friends are wrong/do something wrong/say something wrong, he can and does immediately identify the situation as wrong. When he does something wrong, or when he does nothing in the face of something wrong, in that moment I believe he knows the full weight of the situation. Like you said, he has a strong conscience, as well as a deeper, perhaps more nuanced understanding of right and wrong than do, for example, James and Sirius. Now, Lupin needs his friends. They're not just people to hang out with, they're a lifeline for him. He's not going to engage in conflict with them if there is even the slightest chance that he might lose them (for a variety of reasons, he lacks, as you said, the moral courage to do so). But he's also a generally decent human being, and with a strong conscience comes the capacity for sincere guilt and remorse. So, not only will he not confront his friends, he needs it to be okay that he doesn't confront them. And it's at that point that I think the self gaslighting is triggered.

But Lupin is intelligent and nobody's fool, so the gaslighting creates only a thin layer of ice over the problem. Just enough of a cover that he can live with the things he would otherwise deeply regret. I do think he believes the alternative reality he makes for himself to be accurate as long as it isn't really challenged. Crack the ice, though, and we see him express remorse and reveal an underlying awareness of past and present truths. But then the moment is over, and the war between the uncomfortably and full weight of the truth and his need for the companionship of his friends returns, and then the gaslighting begins again, allowing him an easier return to his closest friends (and eventually his closest friend, singular, after the others have been taken from him as was his fear all along) without conflict and with minimal strain on his conscience.

Once Sirius, the last of his original chosen family is gone - truly gone, as opposed to 'located elsewhere' as he was when in prison - following OOtP, suddenly Lupin's arc takes off at a greater speed than at any point prior. He's now literally lost all of the people he'd been terrified of figuratively losing. Although there are still people and things he cares about, he isn't as dependent on any of them as he was on those foundational friendships, and the finality of their absence allows him to finally grow beyond his stifling cycle of reality shifting, confront the truths of his reality and his circumstances, and, as you said, finally take responsibility by returning to Tonks and Teddy - a decision that, ultimately, triggers his death (I don't mean to imply that it was a bad decision or that it's the sole cause of his death, but Rowling has said that being 'out of practice' contributed to his loss at the Battle of Hogwarts, which makes for a fantastic tragedy).

I don't mean to overstate the importance of this theory or imply that it's always present when he's on-stage, and, as with anyone, many other elements, of course, factor into his actions/words/motives. But I think it's a fascinating potential component of his character all the same. If you have more thoughts on this, I love to hear them - and I look forward to reading the discussion on your blog!

So what do you think? Is this a valid reading of Lupin? I'd say it is, but I'm interested in reading my followers thoughts!

#remus lupin #lupin #severus snape #sirius black #moony #padfoot #the marauders #marauders #harry potter #hp #mwpp