#I guess that's what my point in my rambling is

[sorrowsofsilence]

Desolate Love • N.S

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x reader (oneshot)

Words: 1.7k

Warnings: Angst, angst, angst.

Prompt: His October eyes sang secret confessions as he poured his soul into the melodies of desolate love; but you weren't meant to be sung for, even if you loved each other first.

Authors note: I have never written anything like this publically before, but I'm feeling a little sad and angsty lol. I hope you enjoy the words that came from my heart. (ps. I know many on the taglist are here for smut, and this isn’t smut, but I'm just re-using tags since I'm not sure who enjoys what! Pls let me know if you don't want to be tagged in all things!!)

Tags: @sammyjoeee @cookiesupplier @th4t-em0-k1d @dsireland86 @whenthesummerdies @spicywhenspeaking @gretaswhore28 @veronicaphoenix @lma1986 @calleyx13 @somewhere-diamond @talialovesmiw @auratheopossumwitch @blackveilomens @skulliecadaver-blog @silentglassbreak @darkmxgician

No one talks about the grief of a loss that was never yours to mourn.

He got a tattoo; a constant reminder of the pain.

A reminder of what once was.

A reminder of what would never be.

You wrote unspoken words in your diary, quarrels that would never be said aloud.

Words that confessed years of feelings, years of silenced affections.

As your fingers grazed over the pages of yearning within the leathered journal, your heart reminisced the ache for unattainable amour.

Tears pricked at your eyes as you let out a quiet sob, unsure why you were even crying for someone who was never yours.

He consumed your mind; the way he smiled at you the day you met; his contagious laughter that danced through the walls in grandeur.

“Is this Henderson’s gym class?”

The voice behind startled you, and you turned, meeting a pair of ochre eyes. The stutter that left your lips caused your face to warm in embarrassment, as the messy brunette locks that fell across the boy’s features left you captivated.

“Yeah, I think so?” Your brows furrowed as you second-guessed yourself, even though you double-checked the classroom timetable a thousand times.

His lips spread into a dancing grin, his slight buck teeth chewing playfully on his bottom lip in shyness.

“Cool,” He stuck out his hand, long fingers wrapping around yours, “Noah.”

“Y/N,” You returned the smile, your ears heating as his October gaze never left yours.

You pulled away, briefly glancing down at his shirt, immediately excited.

“You like blink-182?”

Noah looked down at his shirt, pointing at it, “Oh yea, I fucking love them.”

He glanced up at you, fixated, “Do you?”

You nodded excitedly, “They’re probably my favourite band at the moment, other than the 1975, and Oasis, and-” you began to ramble, but stopped, afraid to embarrass yourself anymore than you felt you had.

Something flickered within his eyes at that moment; something you never noticed.

“Wonderwall?” He asked.

A song that became yours.

The burned CD he gave you collected dust in the corner of your room, aged and scratched from years of use. The disk player sat untouched, left as a painful reminder from when the tunes that played were melodies of hope; melodies of elation.

These feelings of grief consumed you, engulfing you into an overwhelming feeling of remorse.

The waves of heartbreak came and left, nostalgia shielding your anguish when memories flooded in.

No one ever filled you with such devotion and desire as he did; and throughout the naivety, you could have sworn it to be love.

It was the way Noah would shout your name from across the room when he saw you, or the way he would cover your eyes, asking you to guess who.

Every time you would laugh, placing your hands on top of his, saying you weren’t sure.

But you knew every time.

His long fingers would twirl your hair when he sat behind you in class, tugging the strands playfully before running his nails over your scalp.

“I just like your hair,” He’d say.

And whenever he picked up his guitar in the band room, he would strum the chords to your song, as if inviting you to listen to his lyrical confessions.

His texts consisted of using silly nicknames, and an overload of emojis to express his feelings. It was over the top, almost as if he was afraid he never came across as genuine enough without them.

Late night conversations went on for hours, laughing at the random stories and memories exchanged through flirtatious banter. You wanted to tell him everything about you, and learn everything about him.

You wanted to know his favourite colour, and what cologne he wore. His goals and dreams intrigued you, his fears and dislikes alluring.

You began to like the things he did, just to have something to talk about. You watched the shows he recommended and googled the things you didn’t know. Anything for him.

Noah would tell you how proud he was of you if you shared an accomplishment, or how pretty you looked when you wore your hair down.

He told you he loved your sneakers, and the way your oversized sweaters engulfed your body.

“You could wear mine,” He said, “You look good in my clothes.”

He would grab your hands, drawing silly pictures in Sharpie. It always left you frustrated when the image of an scribbled smiley face barely faded with each scrub.

But really, you would stare at it in admiration, blushing at the thought of his fingers brushing against yours.

“You like him, don’t you?” Your best friends pried, causing you to flush in embarrassment.

“He doesn’t like me like that,” You sighed, shaking your head, “We’re just friends.”

Just friends don’t play with each others hair like that.

Just friends don’t call each other pretty.

Just friends don’t text each other all night long.

“Is it easier to just pretend?”

Time went on, and your heart fluttered at every smile Noah shared with you, and at every word you exchanged.

The daily good morning and goodnight texts left you melting, succumbing your heart to his as he claimed it for his own.

Deep down, you knew he liked you more than just a friend. The way he treated you was special; there was no way that was how friends treat friends.

N: “Hey, your crush 100% likes you back.”

You: “Uhh hey? How would you know?”

N: “Well, I know who you like.”

You: “I guarantee you don’t.”

N: “Hmm, but I do? And I know he likes you back.”

You: “Sure Noah, haha. Go to bed.”

N: “I’m just saying. He likes you. Goodnight Y/N <3”

With a spiralling mind, your heart hammered.

Did he know how you felt about him? Did he just confess his feelings?

Hope.

It wasn’t until he pulled you into the storage closet a week later, that sorrow knocking down any previous signs of faith.

Torn.

“Y/N, I just wanted to talk… but I know you have feelings for me.”

His eyes bore into your own, sorrowful and sullen.

“Look,” he began, grabbing your hands in his, eyes glancing at your entwined fingers, “I- I just promised myself to someone else. My girl- ex-girlfriend, is coming here, and the reason we broke up was because I transferred.”

He began to ramble, unable to look into your eyes as he confessed his worries. Your heart began to shatter as you forced a small smile. Pulling your hands from his you placed them on his shoulders, causing him to pause.

“Noah,” You said softly, the words leaving your mouth a blatant lie, “It’s ok. I understand.“

His shoulders fell as he watched you. He brought you into a hug, squeezing you against his body, holding onto you.

Ludicrous. Empty.

You cried, your knees held to your chest in comfort as a shield from the feelings of abandonment. How could you be so naive?

You: “Just wanted to say thank you for telling me. I’m sorry if my feelings complicate things, I care about you a lot Noah.”

N: “I’m sorry, for everything. You mean a lot to me, and I care about you. ”

You: “If you knew who I liked all along… why did you say that my crush liked me back?”

It took him almost an hour to respond.

N: “Because I do like you Y/N. I like you a lot… but I promised myself to someone.”

The tears that fell from your face that night left you parched and broken, your world-shattering.

You found someone else a year later. Love that fulfilled your every need, someone to cherish you for you. It was someone who gave you everything; but your mind selfishly always wandered back to him.

You didn’t know that the day he found out you became spoken for, was the day he broke into a million pieces from a whole.

His heart was mutilated, head spinning with uncontrollable thoughts of regret.

How could he have let you slip through his fingers? All for some what-ifs?

He pretended to be happy for you.

Years passed, and you both grew. Both changed, both matured.

You got a ring, and Noah played in a band. You went to every show, you still showed up, even though you knew you were always a second choice.

He watched you the whole time as his fingers traced the strings of the guitar, and your heart yearned for him; screaming and aching and crying that you were just a body in the room.

It wasn’t until he found someone, that you told yourself it wasn’t healthy to fixate on past uncertainties.

It was rare you went to shows now. But when you did, you watched as he stood on that stage and sung; his smile brilliant and just for her.

But then you would meet his gaze, and you knew that the ochre was always for you. Forever yours.

His October eyes sang secret confessions as he poured his soul into the melodies of desolate love.

But you weren’t his: you weren’t mean’t to be sung for.

Some nights you called him drunk. You told him you missed him, that you wanted him to know you think about him all the time.

He told you he missed your voice, and how he wished you two still called.

He said he was happy you found someone to love you, because you deserved to be loved.

You knew he was lying.

It was the last time you talked, until you saw him sitting in the audience as you walked down the aisle, marrying a man you loved. A man who promised himself to you forever. A man who chose you first. A man who was not him.

Noah asked for your hand, he asked you for a dance. Your bodies swayed one last time in a synchronized beat, but just as friends; as desolate lovers.

You never listened to Wonderwall again.

Tears pricked at your eyes as you let out a quiet sob, unsure why you were even crying for someone who was never yours. You were meant to be happy now.

As your fingers grazed over the pages of yearning within the leathered journal, your heart reminisced the ache for unattainable amour.

A reminder of what would never be.

A reminder of what once was.

Noah got a tattoo; a constant reminder of the pain.

No one talks about the grief of a loss that was never yours to mourn.

#sorrows of silence masterlist #bad omens #noah sebastian #bad omens cult #bad omens band #noah sebastian davis #bad omens fic #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian angst #angst #sad poem #bad omens angst #angst fanfic #desolate love

[ghyulia]

𝗢𝗯𝗲𝘆 𝗠𝗲 𝗕𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀! 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗢𝘂𝘁 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆’𝗿𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗧𝘆𝗽𝗲 𝗽𝟮!

p1 | p2

‹𝟹 ft. Satan & Beelzebub

sorry for any grammar mistakes!!

𝗦𝗮𝘁𝗮𝗻

𐙚 . He's pretty surprised. Satan knows that he's pretty attractive, but he doesn't have the best of qualities. He genuinely thinks you would fare better with someone who isn't as.. short-fused as him. He appreciates your feelings, of course! He's so madly in love with you

𐙚. Satan resolves not to mention it or make an appearance at the moment as quietly makes his way back to his room. He doesn't think you noticed him.

𐙚. Little did he know, you managed to catch a glimpse of a blonde head swiftly disappearing from behind the door. You knew he heard you and chose not to say anything or make himself known. This threw you for a loop. Did he like you? Did he try to flee the scene in hopes that you wouldn't notice him because he didn't feel that way about you?! All of these thoughts were weighing you down.

𐙚. After a few hours, you finally decided to man up and pay him a visit. It wasn't unusual for you to visit him at this time, since you both usually liked to read while occasionally talking about events that transpired through the day.

𐙚. You knock twice. "Satan?"

"Oh, (Name)." "Come in."

You warily open the door, all your confidence from a few minutes ago dissipating. It's now or never, anyway. You swallow your fear.

"How was your day?" You say. "It was pretty normal. Remember that book from the human world that piqued my interest? It finally came in. I was pretty excited to read it, but I thought it might be better to wait for you. I got a little impatient and read the first few pages, though...I hope that's fine." "Hey, (Name), you seem really tense. Is everything all right?" Satan points out.

"Huh? ..Oh yeah. I'm good..I'm super excited to read the book, too!" You force out. He really is acting like he didn't hear what you said. You were starting to get frustrated, and Satan could notice it too.

"Seriously, (Name). What's up with you?" Satan inquires, confusion written all over his face. His beautiful face. That stupid face!! That face to the body of a stupid demon who's acting like he didn't stupidly hear your confession of love (it wasn't even really a confession..)! That tipped you over the edge.

"What's up with me is that I said you were my type! You were there! You were there....and now you're pretending not to have heard me! That obviously means you don't like me, or at least not enough to mention it! It makes me feel so stupid, Satan. So, so unbelievably stupid. And I know it's not your fault, but sometimes I feel like what we do is pretty intimate, you know?! I mean when we read in your room I'm basically on top of you. A guy who doesn't like me should at least have the decency to stop me from making a fool out of myself. He should push me off him! I really like you, but you obviously don't reciprocate, so you should at least say somet-"

Your ramble is abruptly halted with a short, sweet peck on your cheek. You tilt your head a little to face the Cynical Fourth born, whose ears are fully crimson.

"Y-You.."

"(Name), I'm sorry. I didn't... really know how to bring it up. I told myself that I would later, after we got comfortable. Of course I'm into you. Who wouldn't be? You're amazing, funny, and kind, and you never fail to bring a smile to my face. I'm always quick to anger, as you know..but around you, I always find myself striving to be a better person. You keep me in check. I'm not just into you... I know for a fact that.. ᵗʰᵃᵗ ⁱ..ˡᵒᵛᵉ ʸᵒᵘ." He barely mumbles out the last part. Your smile grows wider and wider, before you all but pounce on the demon.

"I guess that would make us the perfect pair because I feel the exact way about you, 'Tan!"

Satan's smile is the widest you've ever seen. He doesn't know what the future has in store for him, but he knows that as long as you are by his side, there will be nothing he can't overcome.

𝗕𝗲𝗲𝗹𝘇𝗲𝗯𝘂𝗯

𖦹 He doesn't understand. He's your ideal type of what? He doesn't get it, so he just ignores the statement for a while and continues doing his daily activities.

𖦹 A few hours later, the thought of what you said resurfaces, and while filming his new DevilTube workout video with Asmodeus, Beel decides to ask what it means to be someone's "Ideal type." Once Asmo explains what it means and he finally understands and fully processes what you meant by the statement, he goes fully red. He's so embarrassed he didn't get that earlier. But at the same time, he's ecstatic. You're his type too!

𖦹 Poor guy can't even focus on his workout video. He wraps it up as quickly as possible, leaving Asmo with the editing, and makes a beeline for your room. He stops halfway.

𖦹 He's sweating like a pig...It would probably be best to freshen up before confronting you about what you said. He makes a mad dash to the shower, freshens up quickly, and then hastily makes his way to your room.

"(Name)? You in there?"

"Yeah! Come in, the door is unlocked." Your voice was muffled. "Sorry, I'm looking for a potions book Solomon lent to me. What's up? Asmo was texting the group chat about how you abandoned your "Deviltuber Duties"..or something," You giggled, still not facing him.

"Earlier..You said I was your ideal type. I didn't know what it meant, so I ignored it, but I know what it means now.." Beel confesses.

You freeze. "You heard that?!" You quickly turn around. You felt like all the blood you had in your human body was rushing straight to your face. Your eyes meet his, and you finally realize that the 6'4 demon's face is also decorated in a deep shade of red. You guys are practically matching at this point!

"(Name)... You should probably know that you're my type too. You've always accepted me and my brothers. You still treated Belphie with kindness even after the rough start you two had. I admired that about you. I'm okay with sharing my food if it's you. I've always thought you were amazing ever since the day you stood up for me and Luke. You didn't waver in front of Lucifer, who can be really scary at times...and it made me feel so warm. My feelings only grew from there."

You tear up a little. "Beel, you're so amazing. I don't know what I did to deserve someone like you."

"I think it's the other way around, (Name)." Beel leaves a chaste kiss on your lips and engulfs you in a warm hug.

The Gluttonous seventh-born knows he'll continue to treasure you forever. Beelzebub had never paid any mind to the sun at first because it never shined in the Devildom, but you changed that. You exuded light and radiance from the moment he met you. You were the sun. His sun. He's just so happy that he gets to be the one closest to your heart. You smile and indulge in his embrace, the potions book long forgotten.

a/n: ahhh it's done!! sorry for the wait omg :(( I'm thinking of what to write ab next but I hope ygs enjoyed this one! oh if anyone has any ideas on what I shld write abt next pleaseee lmk haha :)

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me x reader #obey me x you #obey me x y/n #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #satan x reader #beelzebub x reader #satan x mc #obey me x mc #ahhh i love beel sm

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Lol.

Yeah… the more news that comes out just confirms more of what I thought. This unnamed character who moves from HYBE to ADOR, and mere weeks later, HYBE gets a ‘tip-off’ and all the incriminating documents are in his work diaries where he narrates things MHJ has supposedly said, including that she believes that Bang establishing BTS or groups with the same cache as BTS, was him copying her…. Everything that’s found in his documents is almost clinically incendiary lmao. Like, weapons-grade rage bait. Partly because of how bizarre it is. And the sinker - they tie it to Min Heejin supposedly wanting more money. MHJ has meanwhile released another, stronger statement refuting the allegations about trying to stage a management takeover, or artists contract leaks etc.

Of course, the discourse about this is going to develop predictably, especially after the mention of BTS and other groups MHJ supposedly says copied her.

This has all the makings of one thing and only one thing, to me. It doesn’t change my opinion about Bang PD but it does make me revise my view on Min Heejin, she’s a bit more naive than I assumed her to be. I feel a bit sorry for her, because she’s been got. Again. It’s similar to the ig situation that also started with ‘a gift’ her ‘friend from SM’ gave her to congratulate her on launching ADOR - a gift that ended up being the most damning controversy that almost sunk the group. A controversy where the primary demand was for her to leave NewJeans and HYBE. Now, a ‘right-hand man’ transfers from HQ to her team and it’s his uncorroborated narrations that match what’s in the ‘tip-off’… the demands are the same.

I like MHJ, but I’ve always watched her with caution because in Korea, no woman makes it to the c-suite without making a shit tonne of enemies. Imagine it to be triple the amount a regular working class man makes on his way up the ladder, because that kind of status in Korea is something you’re either born into, or born close to. It’s rare for working class men to work their way up and even more rare for women. In fact, I’d say it’s an aberration.

I see all the flack MHJ gets for being a narcissistic bitch, wanting to constantly assert ownership of her ideas, wanting to be widely associated with her successful projects, etc. I see people irritated by her arrogance, but full disclosure, I like her for it. For several reasons, but one reason is that in her environment, the default is to let your male superiors take credit for your work. It happens in corporate environments all over the world, but in Korea it’s a mentality entrenched in the DNA. Pushing against that earns you enemies every time you speak, by default. But I suspect that’s how she worked her way up from being a graphic designer to having a seat on the board of directors at SM Entertainment before leaving when they wouldn’t give her more autonomy. So, in my eyes, she’s got spunk. But also, now I see she’s clumsy.

Oftentimes with corporate drama, there’s no point using moral language because it’s just business. You either pitched the best deal or you didn’t. You either fucked up or you didn’t. It’s cold numbers and rationality - business. But… there are some cases where it’s not really about the business, cases where it’s personal.

I don’t have meaningful insider information, I’m reading the press releases and ‘leaks’ along with everyone else, so I can’t be certain and that’s why I’m talking in this long-winded ramble without coming right out to say exactly what I think. What I’ll say though is that this is less about NewJeans and more about Min Heejin. And she’s the first person who should’ve understood that and taken necessary precautions.

Clearly, it doesn’t look like she has, and in that sense she has no one but herself to blame. She’s being stupid, in fact I’d say delusional in some ways, but I guess some things can’t be helped. NewJeans isn’t exactly fucked, but it’s clear that yet again, they are collateral damage. And it’s a shame.

#ador #min heejin #bang pd #NewJeans #Hybe #kpop

[prythiansfavoritefox]

I was still mulling over all he said when I slipped into my tent to finally change out of my leathers, leaving him and Elain to go find a place to wash up. And talk—perhaps.

Did you ever wonder what was said between the two of them? Well I wrote what I imagined transpired between them!

Lucien and Elain went to another tent, carrying buckets of water with them to wash themselves. Lucien had noticed for a relatively small woman, she packed a surprising amount of strength in her body. All that gardening must have paid off.

He hardly had any idea what to say to her. That had never been a problem for him in the past. He always knew the right thing to say in every situation, even if he didn't always say it (like with Amarantha). But with Elain...words simply left his brain. It was maddening. Cauldron knew he wanted to talk to her, but he didn't know how.

He hadn't failed to notice how Elain had deflected the kill of the King of Hybern to Nesta, even though it was her shot that had ultimately led to his demise. She might not have beheaded him, but she ultimately was the cause of his death. She must know that. But Elain, Lucien observed, was far more peaceful than her sisters. Perhaps the idea of taking another's life was abhorrent to her. That, at least, he could understand. Perhaps there was some sense in their mating bond, after all.

"You're staring," Elain pointed out. Lucien snapped out of his thoughts. "I-er-sorry." Lucien pinched his nose. This was going disastrously. "I was just thinking."

She tilted her head like a curious doe. "Of what?" She placed the large bucket in her arms down, picking up a small bucket to scoop water with to wash her hands.

Shutting up was not Lucien's strong suit, so naturally, the only option was to nervously ramble. "That I am guessing the King of Hybern was your first kill, and I know you despise violence, and so do I, but it's something that unfortunately we have to do under extreme circumstances, and I just wanted to say, that I understand your reluctance to accept that kill. I cried a lot the first time I took a life, and especially after Jesminda, violence disturbs me."

Elain peered at him with those curious eyes again. "Who is Jesminda?"

Lucien internally cursed himself for his inability to shut the fuck up. Not that he wished to hide Jesminda from her, but...he did not wish to speak of her at this time.

"My...well, she was to be my wife. Long ago. Unfortunately, that did not turn out well for either of us."

"Your father killed her?"

Lucien blinked. "How did you know?"

Elain shrugged. "Lucky guess." How the hell was that a lucky guess? He wondered what stories Feyre had told Elain about him. Had she spoken all about his father? Not like Feyre knew all that much about Beron herself.

Just then, Elain began to unbutton her shift. Lucien couldn't control his blush. "Yeah, well, I'll just..." then Lucien pointed in the opposite direction. Elain ignored him. Lucien cursed himself. There was no need to say anything in that situation. Motherfucking idiot. He quickly stripped and began to bathe in the water he had. He tried to ignore the sounds Elain made behind him, focusing on his own shower, but silence bothered him, and his stupid tongue desired to speak again.

"I understand if you're hesitant about the mating bond," he began. Still nothing.

"I just wanted to say...well you're immortal now. And I'm also immortal. You have all the time to decide what you want to do."

He finished off and began to reach for his towel, determinedly avoiding looking at Elain. As he dried himself off, she softly said, "You can look now."

Cautiously, Lucien turned towards her. "Thank you," she said. "For giving me space." She took a deep breath. "I-well, you know I was to be married. I still love him, but I know now that he never loved me." A little steel entered her eyes and her next words were colder. "Otherwise, he would've never rejected me so heartlessly simply because my body changed."

Rage took hold of Lucien's body, a desire to rip Graysen to shreds for having ever claimed Elain, for daring to hurt her feelings in such a heartless way. An uncontrollable mating instinct. He grit his teeth and clenched his fists, weathering the instinct. Deep breaths. One. Two. Finally, he managed to gain a hold of himself enough to speak. "If it makes you feel better, he's ugly and stupid with an eternal stick up his ass," Lucien suggested.

To his relief, Elain burst out laughing. "That does make me feel quite a bit better." Lucien felt a surge of confidence, the last of his anger dissipating, and he gave a bow. "I am at your service m'lady." Elain smiled. "Duly noted, m'lord." Something in his chest sparked at that.

My lord, she had called him.

Her lord.

Her mate.

Her Lucien.

#lucien vanserra #elain archeron #elucien #fanfic

[fruitybashir]

Can't remember if you've talked about this a lot before so, hi, anything about Kris and Jan's relationship? Very curious, I love them!!

oh YES actually ive been dying to talk about them more lol since i couldnt fit any more backstory for them into holidate so let me just *cracks knuckles* tell you their whole deal actually

SO. basically the idea for how they met, got together, became best friends etc was this:

- they met as teens, probably were in the same class

- they discovered they had a lot of similar interests, same humour, very quickly got along really well and became really close friends

- they also both at that point had started to figure out their sexuality, but weren't open about it at all bc like. homophobia in school is no joke.

- at first that also meant they werent out to each other bc oh god what if i tell him and he thinks im disgusting and then he doesnt want to be my friend anymore and also outs me to the whole school and everyone will know

- im not sure exactly what happened but one of them wouldve accidentally found out about the other, the other wouldve panicked, but then like oh shit damn okay we're both queer?? nice!!

- if youve been a queer teen in an almost exclusively cishet environment and suddenly there was another queer teen, you probably know the experience of getting a crush on them partly literally just bc theyre also queer. so that happened.

- basically they were each others first queer relationship and did their first experimenting with each other etc

- they did however realised that hey actually? maybe romance isnt for them. maybe they just have a really deep friendship and they do love each other, just not like that - and that realisation is definitely 100% mutual from the start btw, no heartbreak for either of them, just relief

- so basically they just break off the romantic relationship and stay best friends etc etc

since then, jan has also been in kris' family and stuff like miha and chantal both love jan and treat him like a son. kris definitely first introduced him as a friend, and then came out to his parents with jan as his boyfriend and they werent thrilled but also not hateful. but they were relieved (at first) when they just went back to friends

idk if jan and kris still occasionally experimented or slept together or idk? i guess theyd definitely feel comfortable and secure enough with each other but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

overall (to me) theyre definitely a little more than just best friends but on a very platonic basis. they have a lot of love for each other, theyd kill and die and pretty much do anything for each other, its a very very deep and powerful friendship

oh also, its been mentioned in the fic that they regularly sleep over and also they sleep in the same bed and cuddle and all that, like thats all part of the previous statement. platonic intimacy and all that.

ummmmmm this was kinda just a very long ramble and idk how much of that last bit made sense buy heres some jankris extra lore for you <3

#basically best friends who are platonically in love #if they didnt both still seek out romantic relationships with others they would get married for tax benefits and grow old together #inbox #anonymous #lore

[gremoria411]

*This post will contain spoilers for Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury. Also, I’ll probably ramble more than usual here, since a lot of my points are interconnected*

Alright then. I was planning on doing a big post breakdown on Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury after rewatching it, since I find that my general thoughts on a series typically coalesce around the second viewing. However that probably won’t be for a good while yet, so I figured I’d do a big post now, and I’ll add a few notes if anything jumps out on me on my (eventual) second viewing.

In a nutshell, I found The Witch from Mercury to be really, really good, with an excellent cast and gorgeous action. However, I feel it’s let down by its comparatively low episode count.

And I’d like to stress that that low episode count is basically my only major criticism - I have several smaller ones, but they’re ultimately all extensions of that low episode count.

The Cast.

As above, really good. You’ve got a good selection of characters coming from various strata’s within society - Spacians, Earthians, Mercurians. It’s a good variety of characters and seeing how they interact with each other. They all feel pretty well-rounded as characters honestly.

Like, Suletta’s great, obviously. I feel like you don’t need me to tell you that which is great, because I’m not sure how to put it. I guess I like how emotive she is, how she portrays how she’s feeling so well, but then that might be because we, the audience are close to her as a protagonist (I’d argue that Miorine and Guel could also be counted as protagonists, if you wanted, but Suletta’s the one we spend the most time with). Suletta’s also good because she’s a newcomer to the Asticassia, so not only do we learn things with her but she’s also absolutely primed to upend the status quo there, which she does fantastically. I like the contrast between her doubts and capabilities - she’s not the most social of characters and doubts herself multiple times, but put her in a mobile suit and she is confidence incarnate.

Miorine feels like an extension of Gundam’s “Princess” archetype: your Sayla, your Relena, your Lacus. I really like how proactive she is - we first meet her in the process of attempting to run away from her school, and her arc feels more about her recognising the power she weirds and how to best use it for what she wants, rather than rejecting it outright. She’s in the process of actively cultivating “soft power” (negotiations, word-of-mouth, etc) rather than just having it inherently and -crucially- because the hard power isn’t actually that valuable. Compared to, say, SEED. Lacus has a whole lot of soft power, but it’s Kira and the Freedom that’s the driving force of the plot. Suletta has Hard Power - Aerial, but it’s borrowed power fundamentally, and it’s Miorine’s soft power that ultimately does more good. Actual Diplomacy versus Gunboat Diplomacy, if you will. I also like how Suletta and Miorine’s relationship progresses - they balance out each other - it starts out with Suletta having the power Miorine needs, but as Miorine grows they start relying more on each other. Also their interactions together are really great. They’re compelling because of both who they are in universe - a pilot and a princess, and because of their personalities with each other and how they spur each others development.

I do want to call out Lady Prospera as being amazing. She feels exactly how Char would be as a mother - manipulative and ruthless, but still caring in her own way. I’m given to understand she’s the first female Char Clone in the series, which is neat. Her relationship with Suletta (and Miorine) is just really good. She’s not unpleasant and she’s certainly charming, but she won’t sugarcoat how things are. Miorine knows she’s being manipulated in her interactions with her, but it’s genuinely good advice so she goes along with it, even as she has her own reservations. It’s also rather telling that once Prospera doesn’t need Suletta anymore, she leaves her. While callous and heart-breaking, we know now that Prospera fully believed she was going to die. While this doesn’t exactly forgive her abandoning Suletta, it does cast her interest in Suletta making friends and having relationships outside her in a new light. Prospera wants vengeance for Nadim and the rest of the Vanadis Institute, but she recognises that that is her and Eri’s vengeance, not Suletta’s. And doesn’t that sound similar to Mr Char “I have never once betrayed any one, in my life, ever” Aznable, who just wants his sister to grow up in peace while he avenges their family? It’s a fun relationship dynamic and it’s done well, is what I’m getting at. I also like how unapologetically villainous she is in some of her actions - both the audience and Miorine kinda clock her as a threat immediately, but we can also see why Suletta trusts her so much, even if it’s not the healthiest relationship. I just really like the juxtaposition of her being sweet with Suletta, uncompromising with Miorine, and absolutely brutal with everyone else.

Setting

I find the school setting genuinely fascinating, I don’t have a clever segue so I’m just going to get into it.

Asticassia School of Technology is a school to pilot giant robots. Great, Instantly appealing. However, then you get into all the ways it’s indicative of the wider society. It’s maintained and run by the Benerit Group - a Mega-Corporation that dominates the field of military-use mobile suits, which requires actual military force to be brought to heel and is basically a sovereign nation all its own - it’s rather telling that we never really see any national representatives throughout G-Witch, it’s all about the companies. So it takes this normally aspirational thing “wow, a school to pilot giant robots!” And extrapolates it out to what kind of setting would create that. Giant Robots are used in military applications, so you end up with a facility basically dedicated to the production of child soldiers to serve this military-industrial complex actively profiting from the glaring class inequality present in the setting, as set out in the prologue. And because the characters exist within that system there is no “easy fix”, the story ends with the characters making small progress against those inequalities rather than solving them in one fell swoop because the inequalities are systemic, and you can’t just take out the superweapon and expect everything to work out on its own. The existence of child soldiers is baked into the setting- not as a desperate gamble or as an illustration of the necessities of survival, as in other series. But as an accepted and -crucially- normalised thing. Notably, no-one expresses surprise or horror at Sophie and Norea being pilots - just that they’re a threat and have GUND Format units. We also see several child soldiers in Fold of Dawn in addition to Asticassia itself, so there’s also the angle of generational differences - the children exist in an unfair world built and maintained by the adults, fighting for the causes they are taught to. Many of the Benerit Heirs have unhealthy relationships with their parental figures, typically conflicting over them wanting different things (Guel vs Vim’s expectations, Shaddiq going out from under Sarius and basically everything about the Elan’s). So there’s the angle of the children fighting against the unfair world of adults, tying into the familial relationships in the cast. Which is a theme Gundam’s got a lot out of historically. So the school setting shows to illustrate how Ad Stella is civilised a first glance, but far more beneath the surface, and demonstrates several of the issues inherent in the setting.

I also really love how GUND format is actively debilitating to its pilots and how Suletta, while still a very good pilot, is essentially unbeatable because she has a way around the downsides for most of the series. Because it feels like an examination of “the Gundam is the strongest mobile suit”. G-Witch essentially states that having a stronger or better weapon does not solve these problems, in fact, the various elements of the company all fighting over Aerial gets several people killed, so if anything it feels like a takedown of “Gundam” as a concept (ie This great strong weapon that will win us the war”). It also puts emphasis on themes of dehumanisation - both the Elan’s and Sophie&Norea show that child experimentation, while not exactly common, isn’t unfamiliar ground in Ad Stella, particularly with Elan being replaceable, which again ties into the child soldier angle. I also find it delightfully hypocritical that Benerit, the weapon merchants, have issues with it because of the PR backlash of it killing its pilots, not because of any “moral” reason. It’s a bad look to have a weapon that can harm its user - who’s going to want to pay for that? The militant liquidation of Ochs Earth was essentially a PR stunt to show that Benerit will not make these weapons (not that that stopped Peil). Which is really horrifying to think about, really.

The Space Assembly League, Quiet Zero and the Interplanetary Laser Transmission System (or ITLS, that big gun in the finale) all function as illustrations of the excess of corporate power - a near full-scale war/ large scale destruction is only prevented because of Suletta and Ericht’s intervention. The SAL functions as a regulatory body for the corporations, but while it isn’t exactly lacking in force, it acts far too late to prevent the damage - Benerit has been allowed to run independently for too long, so it’s difficult to pull back even with evidence and force because it’s just so big. Meanwhile, the ITLS was constructed under the guide of a power transmission system, but it’s intended to be fired as a weapon. Furthermore, the destruction it will cause is written off as “Oh, Peil will get the reconstruction contract”, killing hundreds for corporate gain. The fact that it’s Peil specifically is also notable, since they are probably the most ethically bankrupt of the three corporations and were actively involved in the GUND-format technology themselves. But because the corrupt elements of the governing body favour them (and can presumably cut a deal for reconstruction costs), much of their misdeeds would have essentially been swept under the rug. Notably, other than their stock plummeting, we don’t actually see much in the way of consequences for the Peil CEO’s.

Mechanics

A fairly short one here - I’ll admit I’m not crazy about a lot of the mobile suits in Ad Stellar, but I like how each company has a different designer and are different thematically. Jeturk has big, bulky beetle-esque machines - heavily armoured and analogous to Zaku’s and other grunt suits from the series. Peil focuses on mobility - spindly MS with lots of thrusters, and typically deployed with aerial combat in mind. Finally, Grassley tends to lean towards units with exotic systems, such as the Michaelis’ beam bracer and Anti-GUND format and often have monoeyes. It’s a good illustration of the competing philosophies within the group and each one is distinct and easily recognisable (Burion’s utilitarian, I don’t have much more to say on it). It also emphasises what a big shakeup the Gundam’s are, since they look so different, and can put down any of these units with little trouble. I rather wish we saw more of the smaller developers - those units Suletta swatted aside en masse with the Aerial Rebuild, since they seemed to have a greater variety of designs (I particularly liked the little Acguy-looking one - the Hosler II?). Also, really liked the Prodoros used by Dawn of Fold (though that’s likely due to how it moves).

Criticisms

Or rather Criticism. Your typical Gundam series is usually around 40-50 episodes, whereas Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury is a comparatively paltry 25. Now, one series having a lower episode count than another isn’t inherently a point against it - better a short story well told rather than a long story poorly told, and it’s a new show, and (despite my persistent comparisons with other Gundam shows) should be allowed to stand and be judged on its own merits. But it kinda feels like it was meant to be a 40-50 episode series that was cut-down mid-production and fundamentally, it feels like we could’ve gotten more.

The pacing of the second season ratchets up considerably compared to the first, and I would like to stress that Witch From Mercury is a very-well-paced show - every episode has some sort of plot development, but it feels like that’s because it had to be. And every criticism I have of the show feels like it flows from that cut-down episode count.

It kinda feels like Peil Industries was supposed to be a much bigger player in this, and the Pharact doesn’t really do anything after its opening fight.

Peil’s never brought to justice, and Elan 5 just decides to join Earth House’s move on Quiet Zero. Meanwhile, the real Elan Ceres just resigns from Peil, even though he was presumably in on the Enhanced Person stuff too.

Lauda’s whole subplot about him piloting the Schwarzette had very little foreshadowing - I assume they put just enough of it in that they couldn’t cut it entirely (i.e. the Schwarzette), and it was necessary for Guel’s character arc.

Guel taking over Jeturk Heavy Industries didn’t really go anywhere.

Sophie Pulone and Norea Du Noc are really only there to tick gundam’s “Doomed Child Soldiers” box. Also Dawn of Fold just…… still exists after the events of the series?

The fact that Ochs Earth was still a thing kinda didn’t amount to much did it? Prospera just destroys them and their Gundam Lfrith’s. The ones used by Dawn of Fold might have well been older models, scavenged or bought by them.

Chuatury (Chuchu) Panlunch - great character, great design, excellent illustration of the tensions of the setting, but it feels like she was supposed to have a subplot focused on the people supporting her on Earth.

It just feels like they made the first 12 episodes of a 40-50 episode series, with a bunch of setup that’d pay off later, and then they got cut down to 24 episodes and had to cut a lot of stuff to fit. I’d like to stress I think they made a good compromise - most of my criticisms are minor and the Suletta and Miorine are the heart of the series, and they come out very well. But all the same, I’d rather the compromise didn’t need to be made in the first place, so we could’ve seen the “full thing” as it were.

Even my….. restraint on the mobile suits designs can be pinned on this. My favourite designs are typically Monster of the Week and late-season Weirdo’s - the stuff that’s the purview of your charismatic villain or a specialised grunt. But if you’ve got to cut stuff for space and time, then by their very nature, those designs won’t stick around.

I should however mention that I’ve been unable to find any reputable source as to wether The Witch From Mercury did have its episode count cut, before or during production. My criticism is mostly about the series feeling like it should have had more, not that it was actually cut down. It is possible that Bandai wanted to see if the show could make a comparative return on a smaller budget than usual, especially considering most of their recent Gundam output has been adaptations (IE. Shows that already have a proven audience and prior success, and are consequently a lot less financially risky), like Unicorn or Thunderbolt.

All that said, I do think that the emotional core of the show - Suletta and Miorine was excellently done, and I found the action and themes to be similarly well-done. I’m mostly only complaining we didn’t get to see more of the world, since it has so many interesting concepts that feel like they would’ve been interesting to see.

#gundam #ramblings #mobile suit Gundam the witch from mercury #witch from mercury #Gundam g-witch #Gundam the witch from mercury #suletta mercury #miorine rembran

[scarrletmoon]

idk what to say at this point. if you believe ofmd is uniquely supportive of slave owners for a pirate show, that one of its EPs personally and uncritically supports israel and that the cast is full of zionists actively supportive of palestinian genocide, that the fanbase cares more about the show than actual human lives…..

i’m just lost for fucking words at this point. i know how easy it is to get caught up in shit when everyone’s yelling at you about how wrong you definitely are, that THEY can tell you what’s right, that you don’t have time to think about it and need to decide NOW who’s an irredeemable monster that you must publicly disavow immediately. but it shouldn’t work that way

look i’m sick right now and been dealing with burnout for coming up 3 years now so i don’t have as much energy as i used to, but im just so tired of the wasted energy. people are banding together to do so much good for strangers across the world, but some people want everyone to perform in a way they personally find acceptable. some people won’t even accept “i don’t talk about I/P publicly” from people who have EXTREMELY good reasons for that boundary. they just want to be able to simplify a complicated issue so they can find a villain to dehumanize

idk i’m just. i don’t know what to do when it feels like good work is overshadowed by people determined to find an enemy to uncritically hate. i don’t know how to counter that, other than i saving my energy for the shit that actually matters

i saw this shit happen with BLM and seeing it now with I/P is depressing the shit out of me, i gotta be honest with y’all

#scarrlet rambles #i’ve deleted my tumblr account before i guess i could do it again if someone wants to come at me sideways #i just don’t understand what the point of the infighting is #you’ve got people running around on here making literal lists of jewish people to distrust like #come ON #HOW is that helping palestine #anyway im the last person who should have an opinion on this anyway

[radjerda]

Story-time in Rivendell with Uncle Glorfindel! Elladan and Elrohir absolutely love going out adventuring early and listening to stories of old when offered the opportunity.

(Hopefully Glorfindel chose something more appropriate than the balrog story, this time.)

This piece is intended to be a panel of a comic that as of yet lives in my head, but it stands on its own (and I'm impatient), so I thought I'd share this as it is now

#Lord of the Rings #lotr #Glorfindel #Elladan #Elrohir #Elladan and Elrohir #Glorfindel of the Golden Flower #Silmarillion #Silm #Tolkien #Rivendell #(even if only my imagined version of a corner in the valley somewhere) #But I like to think that this fountain is the storytime fountain for Glorfindel - he finds it peaceful to sit by #Bonus points if anyone would like to take a stab at guessing at the meaning of the fountain/statue #Or if you just wanna know about the fountain: i WILL ramble #(gladly) #My eventual comic ideally will address what story is being told - but in the meantime feel free to fill in the gaps how you'd like! #Also feel free to guess at which twin is which - I did actually have a particular twin in mind when drawing them #Radj Draws

[incorrectsibunaquotes]

tumblr glitched and spared you all the most heated rant of my entire hoa fandom tenure

#idek what happened i answered the ask & hit post but it completely deleted LOL #I’m not gonna bother to reanswer anon’s ask so I’ll give you the abridged version: #i would not feel the need to post so much about season 3 of hoa if people would stop being such virulent haters #and hold this season to an entirely different standard than the other two #like it genuinely makes no sense #i cannot stress enough that you can like s3 the least #that’s your prerogative #but to be so LOUD and so WRONG #ALL THE TIME??? #makes me genuinely mental #SEASON 2 IS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE SEASON #but season 3 needs love and so it’s been 11 years of me giving her love #anyway i guess i just gave you a take version of my rant #and @ anon: fuck you LOL leave me alone once and for all #i love having discussions and deep dives tho please do not think I’m @ing anyone on here you guys are chill and smart #and make good points and do great work and i love you #but if you’re a genuine s3 hater please fuck off to someone else’s blog i BEG #AND if you’re the anon who refuses to leave me in peace? i hope your pillow is warm on both sides #tess rambles

[thebramblewood]

Catching up with Yuki Behr.

Previous / Next

Transcript under the cut.

Yuki: “Helena! Helena! Helena, over here!”

Helena: “Oh, hey, Yuki!”

Yuki: “Girl, we’re always running into each other in the most random places. I was afraid you’d dropped off the face of the earth.”

Helena: [laughs awkwardly] “I guess it has been a while, huh?”

Yuki: “Omigod, you look ah-mazing in that dress!”

Helena: “Thanks. I like yours too.”

Yuki: “It looks like a rainbow threw up on me, right?”

Helena: “Well…”

Yuki: “Don’t worry, that’s exactly the vibe I’m trying to capture these days. Anyway, what’s up? You’re MIA on Social Bunny and you hardly ever text!”

Helena: “I know, I know. I’ve just been a little distracted lately.”

Yuki: “Final semester’s kicking your ass too, huh? I’m counting down the days until it’s over. I just scored a job at this big tech start-up in DSV. Totally corporate, I know, but they’ll never see it coming when I hack the mainframe and run. You must have all kinds of offers lined up, Miss Perfect GPA.”

Helena: “Actually... I’m not exactly sure what’s next. I’m waiting to hear from a few internships in San My, but a gap year also sounds nice right now.”

Yuki: “Look at you! Taking my advice to live a little after all! Aw, I’m so proud. Though I can’t say I expected you to become so... punk.”

Helena: “Oh, I’m not really... I mean, the music’s cool, but I’m also kind of” -

[mutters under breath, blushing] - “dating somebody in the band.”

Yuki: “This just gets better and better! Who? Wait, let me guess! I bet it’s…”

Ulrike: [squeezes] “Hey, babe.”

Helena: “Mmph! Faust! Where’d you come from?”

Yuki: “Looks like I don’t have to guess after all. Well, you’ve got your hands full now.

Call me later! I want all the juicy details.”

Ulrike: “Who’s that?”

Helena: “Just an old friend from high school. She’s at Foxbury now.”

Ulrike: “I didn’t know you had such colorful friends. Come to think of it, do I know any of your friends? What are you hiding, Zhao?”

Helena: “Nothing! I guess I just like having you all to myself.”

Ulrike: “Can’t blame you there.”

#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #ts4 story #sims 4 edit #simblr #story: hzid #i'm back on my overly wordy conversations bullshit #love yuki asking what helena's up to & then just talking about herself lmao #but helena is like me in that she'll let the other person ramble on forever as an excuse to say as little as possible #also ulrike ostentatiously clutching helena with that skeleton jewelry... i'm just trolling at this point (it's so fun though) #and i guess i've fully forsaken yuki's windenburg roots #she was just one of helena's high school classmates and i wasn't thinking about actual game lore at the time #helena zhao #yuki behr #ulrike faust

[beannary]

ok what do rich people rooms look like

#bean babbles #trying to draw tlp donnies bedroom #but idk what a like mega rich persons bedroom would look like #like technically i am rich peoples #or like not rich but middle class in california #but like my room isnt ornate or anything #i do have a keyboard in my room idk if thats fancy but other than that its just standard stuff like a bed closet and a desk #i guess he would probably have an ensuit bathroom #technically before my parents redid our house i had a massive bedroom with an ensuit bathroom and two closets #but thats because i had the master bedroom before my parents re did the house #idk im tired and rambling at this point #maybe ill just use my memories of my old bedroom as reference #but two closets seems like so much for one person #like there was so much space in my room #it was too much #maybe ill just use my current room as reference #who knows #well see what happens lol

[rainbowpufflez]

Fine, I’ll admit that I like Lysandre 😔

#queue the ‘we all know Bo’ #I mean it was definitely obvious from the beginning #and I’ve somewhat said I do in a few posts #and considering the amount of times I’ve drawn him should’ve definitely given it away /lh #the funniest part about me liking him is that I actually straight up don’t #I just I think I hate him so vehemently and deeply that I’ve 180 back to liking him #LIKE WHY ARE U PREOCCUPYING MY BRAIN #LIKE GET OUT OR LIKE PAY ME U FUCKING ASSHOLE #literally I can’t stress enough how unlikable he is #and then I see him and I get locked in #I cringe literally everytime I talk to him #maybe it was cause his ass has been haunting me for the past few months #I GOT SOCIALLY CONDITIONED /hj #like he makes my blood boil sm #when I pointed out that he holds himself like he’s insecure on Pasio to my friend and they went #‘someone who doesn’t like a character wouldn’t have noticed that’ #or when they pulled the ‘true hate is indifference’ on me 😭 #I mean I have always said I have to hate a character before I start liking them #so yeah I’m still gonna be really fucking mean to Orange Peel but unfortunately it means I actually like him #the most insufferable man in all Kalos and I’m still like ‘guess I better draw him again/think about him 24/7’ #WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME #I HOPE U KNOW IM STILL KILLING HIM FOR ALL THE BS HE PULLS THO #rainbowpufflez rambles

[sea-buns]

in the process of writing a little theory/meta about gorgug that was supposed to be on the side of critique but i think ive accidentally made it an appreciation post. you cant write a post about gorgug without appreciating gorgug. its impossible. but its really gone off the rails over here and i cant bring myself to try and reel it in

#typing my own post like: hey wait a second.. SHES RIGHT! AND SHE SHOULD SAY IT!! #what am i gonna do? DELETE the spontaneous gorgug propaganda?!? #what am i a fucking MONSTER?! #the post is just gonna have to be 3x longer than i planned cuz now i have to try and circle back to my original point as naturally as i can #oh nooo guess that means ill just have to talk about gorgug more ohhh the humanity ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #gorgug thistlespring #sea rambles

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Okay so what I am getting is that MHJ is being targeted and pushed out. But what I don’t understand is why? Surely it’s not ONLY because she is pushing against the powers in Hybe? Is this all just because egos were being bruised?

I just can’t wrap my head around it all and why they would risk damaging New Jeans for all of this. But seeing how corporate executives (especially from the stupidity that’s happened over at SM) are I guess it makes sense…

*

Ask 2:

But why would Hybe want MHJ gone, bpp? Or, why would the top dogs at Hybe allow this attack on her? She is clearly very good at her job, and is behind the success of Hybe's second biggest group (I put Newjeans over 17), and until now it seemed like they were ready to provide her with the funds, connections and freedom to grow Newjeans to even bigger heights. Trying to take her out seems so stupid and counterproductive for the future of Newjeans and Ador in general....

***

I ramble. Sorry.

I mean, it’s still quite possible HYBE is right and Min Heejin is stupid enough to be guilty of everything they’ve accused her of.

But I want to highlight a few things I believe about MHJ and this situation. Some of them, such as the blind about the SM colleague who gifted her the ig pictures, I’ve talked about before in more detail, but here’s a summary of what I think about MHJ that’s influenced this outcome:

For Korean sensibilities, she’s an extremely unlikeable woman. Not necessarily because she could be cruel, harsh, or anything like that (though I wouldn’t be surprised if she is), but because of how male-like she is, down to how she expects (and demands) her words and contributions to be weighted. To put it mildly, she’s a freak of nature in Korea. It’s one reason I think she’s only gotten this far in her career because of how genuinely good she is at her job, and how often she insists on full credit.

But the first rule of corporate culture is that no one is indispensable, and it’s necessary to have friends in high places. The latter is easy to do if you’re a man, but near impossible if you’re a woman, especially for a woman like MHJ if I’m right about the kind of person she is.

The best thing for NewJeans and Min Heejin, would’ve been for these issues to be resolved internally. I’m sure everybody involved knows that. There is no outcome with things as they stand now, that doesn’t significantly damage NewJeans and MHJ. But the fact that the current scandal leaves only the current choices, and this is the result only because of a third factor: VP L, stands out to me. Meaning, if VP L wasn’t in the picture, chances are things wouldn’t have come to this point. Recall, VP L was apparently a fairly recent addition to ADOR.

It’s true that Min Heejin wants more independence and exclusivity for ADOR. It was the one condition for her joining HYBE when Bang PD hired her in 2019. In my view, it’s clearly a point of pride for her. However, if another sub-label shows no respect for that independence and exclusivity, I can see how many, including MHJ, would think it’s meaningless. HYBE offers immense resources, but corporate tussles over more access to those resources while insisting on independence and exclusivity can easily become heated, personal, and nasty. Especially if the person demanding it is a woman with the ego of a man.

I’m sure several allegations such as MHJ wanting to gain more share ownership, are probably things MHJ has said at various points, though the practicality of her pulling it off while NewJeans is still such a young group is next to nil - something MHJ has also admitted. So MHJ has admitted to actually wanting more independence and ownership, (something she’s accused of by HYBE), but refusing that she planned to go about it now and in the way they’ve alleged. That’s part of what makes this scandal so insidious. It’s weaponizing an obvious desire years before the target can realistically develop the ability to act on it. I’ve seen people frame HYBE’s move as a counterattack, but in reality it’s preemptive. It slows down NewJeans’ trajectory, yes, but in a multi-label system that’s been revealed to have poorly managed and toxic competition, there are likely more people interested in seeing that happen, than the reverse.

SM Entertainment has a reputation for blacklisting artists and employees who cut ties with them. I’ve talked about this in more detail before, but just as it was during the CBX lawsuit when suddenly, blinds started popping up smearing the characters of Baekhyun, Xiumin, and Chen and it caught on because some truth was mixed with truly fucked up shit (the members eventually dropped most of their demands and settled with SM), and just as during MHJ’s ig scandal where the picture gifts from her ‘friend at SM’ resulted in a smear campaign that combined some truth with a rumormill of misinformation… those are the examples I’ll list for now but understand this is very common playbook with SM in particular. That nonsense about the Pink Bloods didn’t come from nowhere. A top executive could use that phrase unironically and publicly because the company culture at SM, more than any other agency, is patently cult-like, as admitted by their own employees over literal decades. There’s a sense that nobody can really leave. When another blind from 2021 mentioned that the sense of resentment and betrayal at SM was extremely high when MHJ moved to HYBE, it only adds to my view.

Something that informs my view is that VP L *moved to ADOR* before all of this happened. If it’s assumed he acted sympathetically, that is, wanted to help MHJ achieve her goals of being independent from HYBE, then anyone would tell you that him moving to ADOR was exactly the wrong thing to do. Everything he did at ADOR, he could’ve done while at HQ - the file he created with sale scenarios, the alleged showing of financial documents to MHJ, the supposed courting of investors. In fact, it would be more useful for ADOR/MHJ to have him remain at HYBE if the point was for him to have a hand in HYBE granting them more autonomy. This is like the abcs in business. It’s why the double agent always remains in enemy camp rather than move to the home base. The only thing his move to ADOR does, is incriminate them beyond doubt. And that’s what has happened. This is the most illogical thing to me about this entire scandal.

Min Heejin is naive and careless, and probably not much of a conventionally accepted ‘good person’. In my opinion. The thing about people like this is, even if they are innocent in reality, they are perceived by most people not to be. Because naive, careless, and bad people, deserve to be punished in any case. She’s a classic scapegoat and she has no one to blame but herself for being in this situation.

I like NewJeans, and despite everything, I don’t think HYBE wants them to fail. And like you’ve all realized by now, the fallout of this scandal isn’t limited to just Min Heejin and NewJeans, it negatively affects every single group from HYBE. The company will try to maintain normalcy for their groups. I suspect things will likely continue business as usual for them, unless somebody does something truly crazy. But like most other scandals in k-pop, they’ve become ‘tainted’, something that could only happen due to a group of people within HYBE who don’t genuinely take pride in the work created by the sub-labels in HYBE.

If Bang PD had any sense, he’d root out that group. He seems to still enjoy producing too much for me to think he’s part of that group himself, but I have no longer have illusions as to his limitations as a businessman.

[xerith-42]

I don't want to be rich so I can use my money to exploit others, I want to be rich so I can buy the most expensive commissions possible from my favorite artists!! I want to give my friends 1,000 dollars to draw my fursona!! I want to have enough money to pay someone to just help me draw a comic idea I've always had!! I want to be able to support artists making their art and allow them to have some fucking stability!!

#xer's rambles #text post #i don't know how to tag this #uhhh #art? #I guess? #political? #kind of #fuck capitalism #yeah that's what I was looking for #eat the rich #feed the artists #and the poor #well that's kind of a ven diagram at this point #mostly a circle... #kinda. proves my point.

[rushingheadlong]

I’ve anonymized this ask because I actually want to talk about this publicly but I want to respect their desire to not have their name attached to this conversation.

(Usual warnings for length, also CW for discussions of homophobia. Because of how this ask was worded we're going to engage with the possibility of Brian being queer, but there are criticisms about some specific ways the fandom discusses that. If any of that sounds upsetting to you, just skip over this post.)

First, a fairly significant correction: I didn’t say that Harold wasn’t the biggest contributor to “Brian staying in the closet” at all. I’m going to talk about that assumption of queerness later, but this is what I actually said in my tags:

#it's really REALLY clear that at the VERY least his upbringing by Harold impeded Brian's ability to fully explore himself #and his identity/attractions/etc. the way he should have been able to #(tho I don't think Harold was the biggest/only contributor to that but. idk.)

Which I think is fairly self-explanatory but, to break it down more simply, based on all the evidence we have of what Harold was like as a person it seems that he was an extremely traditional patriarch who expected Brian to grow up and fulfill the same role within his own family. We know that they had major clashes over this and from interviews we know that Brian struggled with feeling inadequate as a husband and father specifically because he couldn’t step into the patriarchal role that he felt pressured to fill.

From there, I don’t think it’s unfair to extrapolate out and say that an upbringing that pushed that very traditional view of manhood would likely have also included other “traditional” ideas i.e. misogyny, homophobia, etc. The misogyny is easy to confirm, not just through Brian’s earlier songs (like Son and Daughter) but through later comments on his parents’ marriage that revealed specific ways that Ruth May was absolutely subservient to her husband while he was alive.

The homophobia I don’t think can be “confirmed” in the same way, although I do recall once reading an interview with Brian where he admitted to having to let go of homophobic ideas he used to hold in his youth (though I cannot for the life of me find that interview now, so take that with a grain of salt). But regardless of the extent of homophobia, if it was there I again don’t think it’s unfair to say that that would have impeded any potential experimentation with men at least in Brian’s younger years - I mean for one thing, Brian has already specifically said that he declined the advances from men while on tour even though he didn’t decline when propositioned by women.

If you want to theorize that Brian is some form of queer you can look at him turning down offers from men as possibly a sign of internalized homophobia due to his upbringing. It’s possible that even after Brian unlearned those prejudices with regards to other people, that he couldn’t unlearn them with regards to himself. It’s possible that Brian privately acknowledged his queerness, but felt that acting upon it would be somehow a “worse” betrayal of his marriage than cheating with another woman.

However, it’s also possible that there was no internalized homophobia at play at all and that Brian’s actions and comments (or lack thereof) are driven by concerns about the band, with really nothing to do with Harold at all. We already have Freddie saying, on multiple occasions in both the 70s and 80s, that if he were to be more open about his own sexuality that it would ruin Queen forever. If Brian were also queer it would make sense for him to have the same reservations about saying anything, and those reservations could have been enough to make him hesitant to be with another man at all for fear of rumors spreading.

(ETA: Not to mention, the AIDS crisis could have been a deterrent to try anything as well, especially if he hadn't already by then. That wasn't too uncommon among men who lived through that time.)

There’s also the issue that if Brian were queer, any reservations he had about coming out were likely compounded after Freddie’s death, because there’s simply no way to make that announcement now without Freddie’s name being attached to things whether it should be or not. There would be speculation about whether Brian and Freddie were ever more than “just” friends, speculation about the full extent of Brian’s history with men, speculation about the validity of his marriages to Chrissy and Anita, speculation about Roger and John and if they knew or if they were also queer… The tabloids would have a fucking field day with an announcement like that and it would reverberate throughout Brian’s life, impacting not only himself but his closest friends and family, as well as all his relationships suddenly becoming hyper-scrutinized by people intent on “proving” what is “real” or “not real” about any of them.

Even if you want to believe that that wouldn’t happen and people would only react positively to such an announcement, I need you to step back and consider what sort of comments you consider “supportive” and if that’s actually how they would be received. An entire fandom of RPF shippers crying “I told you so!” and descending on his IG to ask invasive questions isn’t supportive. A world that nitpicks identities to make sure that people are using the “right” ones isn’t supportive. A culture where “jokes” about single-gender schools turning people gay are still prevalent isn’t supportive (and when I am still seeing people defend comments about Freddie’s boarding school playing a role in his own identity, you can’t tell me that people wouldn’t make the same jabs about Brian if they got the chance).

I think it’s safe to say that Harold’s view did have an impact on how Brian explored himself and his identity because we already know for a fact that those views deeply impacted the entirety of his first marriage, to the point that Brian has said that he likely wouldn’t have gotten married to Chrissy at all if it wasn’t for pressure from his father.

(ETA: But I don't think you can safely say that Harold was the biggest/only contributor to how Brian explored his own identity when you consider the overall time period we're talking about, and the complications of both the band and Brian's existing marriage. And with regards to his attraction to women specifically, Brian has already made it clear that that was impacted by the lack of socialization with girls at school, not his father.)

But to engage with your question, if Brian is queer I think it’s far more likely that Brian has stayed in the closet due to concerns about the response, to protect the privacy of himself and those closest to him, and out of respect for Freddie’s own legacy, rather than because of specific views of his father, especially since both of his parents have been dead for decades now.

Now, this isn’t what you asked in your question but I do also want to address the phrasing of “Brian staying in the closet” because I think it’s actually rather worrying that that’s what was taken from my tags.

Is it impossible for Brian to be queer? No, of course not, and to be honest if he did ever come out I wouldn’t actually be surprised. However I am begging this fandom on my hands and knees to remember that Brian has said that he’s straight on multiple occasions.

Here’s him calling himself heterosexual in 1993, shortly after Freddie’s death:

And here’s him saying that he’s not attracted to men a decade later in 2003:

There’s nothing wrong with talking what-ifs but you have to keep in mind what Brian has actually said himself. Even more importantly, you absolutely have to be mindful of what you’re using as “evidence” of queerness because, while it doesn't happen all the time, it is very common in this fandom for that sort of speculation to run straight into stereotyping and, by extension, homophobia.

A man will never be queer simply because he wears jewelry/nail polish/women’s clothing/etc., or because he’s friends with other queer men or wrote songs for them, or because he was unhappy in a heterosexual marriage, or because he’s done drag a few times, or because he’s spoken out about queer rights and history, or because his music resonates with queer people today.

These are all reasons I’ve seen given for why Brian “has” to be queer… but why? Why do you think that wearing things typically worn by women makes a man queer? Why are you so quick to disregard the existence of any femininity in straight cis men? Why do you think that people can’t support the queer community unless they’re queer themselves? Why do you think that your feelings about Brian’s music are any indication of what he actually meant, when it's incredibly common for people to attribute meanings to songs contrary to what the artist intended?

I don’t think that most people who point to these sorts of things as “evidence” of queerness are being consciously, maliciously homophobic but it absolutely is homophobic to reduce these traits down to one-dimensional stereotypes in order to argue that because Brian does XYZ that means he must be queer. I mean, do I really have to break down why it’s problematic to enforce binary gender norms by saying that Brian wearing necklaces is proof of queerness, as if straight men are somehow physically impossible of also wearing necklaces?

There are absolutely more respectful ways to talk about "evidence" of queerness and the OP mentioned in this ask is a great example of that, by using direct words Brian has said specifically about his sexuality, attraction, and relationships to make their point rather than relying on stereotypes about looks or behaviors.

Because if you're going to have these conversations, you have to acknowledge what Brian has actually said. That includes his comments about heterosexuality and attraction to women and, furthermore, acknowledging those comments is not the same as denying any possibility that he's queer.

Brian is an English baby boomer and you cannot separate that from these sorts of discussions. It’s very common for people of his generation to have ideas and identities that are directly at odds with the philosophies of younger generations, and pretending otherwise - or condemning those things for being “wrong” - requires you to completely ignore and rewrite actual queer history in order to do so.

If you look at how people have identified throughout the 20th and 21st centuries, you’ll find a ton of examples of people proudly using seemingly “wrong” labels for themselves. Tom Robinson, author of the song “Glad to Be Gay”, continued to identify specifically as a gay man for years after marrying a woman. Phill Jupitus, a former stand-up comedian, once had an entire 20-minute podcast where he talked about his past sexual encounters with and continuing attractions towards men while identifying the entire time as a straight man and not bisexual. Hell my best friend for over a decade is a queer man married to a woman who still identifies as a lesbian for deeply personal reasons that are unlikely to ever change.

As a queer man myself, I would love to see discussions about this that acknowledge that kind of nuance. I would love to see people approach this conversation by asking why Brian identifies as straight instead of just looking for proof that he’s lying about his identity.

Because if you want to talk about the possibility of Brian being queer, what does it then mean that he chooses to publicly identify as straight instead? Does he claim that label because he doesn’t identify with queerness at all, because he feels obligated to because of his relationships with women, or because he feels those relationships are more representative of who he is?

What does it say about the dynamics among Queen if the others always assumed something, but never said? Or if Brian only told Roger and John after the fact in the 90s? Or if Brian made the choice to never say anything to them either? Disregarding shipping entirely, what would it say about Brian’s friendship with Freddie if he knew the singer was gay but never shared a hint of his own queerness in return?

What does it say - about Brian, the band, the fandom, society - if Brian is indeed making a conscious choice to hide any attraction to men? And we do need to include the fandom here, because while it’s tempting to assume that nothing we do makes it way back to the band that’s really not the case at all. The official Queen discord server has had to make multiple statements not to post about shipping etc. and there were innumerable comments on Brian’s own IG page post-borhap accusing him and Roger of homophobia because of the movie. Discussions of Brian’s relationship to queerness have already reached his sphere of influence, whether we wanted it to or not.

We’re in a time where the prevalence of social media is wearing down the concept of personal privacy and making people feel entitled to information about celebrities that’s none of their business at all. We’ve seen this with Kit Connor being forced to come out after Heartstopper due to accusations of "queerbaiting" and F1nnster delaying coming out due to fears of backlash from not using the “right” label. Or if you want an example from an older generation, when Con O’Neill came out he said he was doing so because he felt ready but there is still rampant speculation in the fandom that part of his reasoning was in response to the queerphobia being leveled at Izzy Hands fans.

Let me repeat that: a queer man explicitly said he was coming out because he felt personally ready to do so, and a wide swath of fans have already made it about themselves and their fandom experiences.

These celebrities are far from being isolated cases. There are countless others who have been forced into making deeply personal decisions based not on what feels right to them, but what will appease the crowds of strangers who watch and follow them.

So, since the original question was about that post on Harold, let's bring it back to that point with one final question from myself:

If Brian is in fact queer, do you think that his long-dead father is really the biggest reason that a world-famous multi-millionaire twice-knighted astrophysicist rockstar may still be choosing to stay in the closet after all this time?

One final note that anyone who engages with this post in bad-faith is being blocked. I have neither the desire nor spoons to argue with anyone who insists that this fandom isn't homophobic or that their homophobia is somehow different because they mean well by it.

#text #long post // #ramblings #brian #I've read over this 9000 times and had my friend review it and I'm still not sure posting is a good idea #at least I can disable reblogs down the road if this turns into a fucking nightmare in my notifs #I want to assume this ask was sent in good-faith which is why I'm answering but... we'll see I guess #ETA: I keep making edits to add more clarifying points and I need to just Stop #idk if I actually answered the question but either you vibe with what I'm trying to say or you don't #I'm not gonna try to make this clearer because I don't think it's actually helping