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catboycafe · 3 years

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I Will Now Express Every Thought I Have About Pacific Rim: The Black

⚠️ spoilers for the whole thing baby

I actually forgot Pacific Rim: The Black was premiering today until I saw it in an article this morning! When I first heard about it months ago, I was decidedly not sold on a Pacific Rim anime. Uprising burnt me the fuck out and I don’t have a lot of trust left in me for new entries to the franchise. But I had heard rumblings of Raleigh and Herc being referenced after going into #pacificrim and I decided I may as well check out to see what was up! I binged it in 4 hours and it sure was a whirlwind, I’ll tell ya

The Plot

I really enjoy the setting and initial concept! We’re so use to seeing Kaiju/Jaegar shenanigans play out within these major cities with helpless civilians everywhere that spending so much time in a lonesome desert and these destroyed civilizations was really cool and indicative of the changes Pacific Rim has undergone in the last few years. I also looooved the Desert Settlement from the beginning!! It seemed really homey and picturesque; I wish we’d spent more time with the other survivors and got to see more of their day to day aside from farming and sitting.

I also found the first episode set up to be really tight and well written! I was hooked during the initial flashback, Hayley and Taylor’s fight was really poignant and well acted, and the reveal of Atlas Destroyer felt really huge and epic!!

But once we left the Desert Settlement and the plot started actually moving along, the pacing becomes suuuper rough. We spent way too long in Bogan with Shane and Mei; there’s only 7 episodes and we spent, like, 3? 4? within the confines of that camp and I felt it weighed the plot down. Boy is introduced in the 2nd episode and, because the narrative spends so much time on Shane’s evil machinations and Mei’s back story, we still don’t know anything concrete about his origins or purpose 3 episodes later! That felt frustrating to me

The story beats overall were very predictable. I was able to pick up on Mei’s backstory via her dynamic with Shane in their introductions, so her memories felt too built up and too hollow once they were revealed. The same with the reveal of Boy’s Kaiju form; he was in a big green test tube in a PPDC base - I assumed immediately he was a part-kaiju experiment and again his reveal felt hollow, especially after the glacial pace of it’s development.

Even when events weren’t predictable, they lacked weight. The appearance of several Kaiju Breaches in “Boneyard” felt very cheap for some reason; I wasn’t scared and I didn’t feel tense about these odds mounting against the protagonists. This was just happening and I was just watching.

The Art Direction and Animation

I’m very obsessed with all the new Kaiju we got from this; I love how Copperhead is rendered, they’re a joy to see on screen!! The Rippers are also very cute and deserve little plushies...i love these neat little dogs. Boy’s Kaiju Form is very intimidating with an interesting color palette and I loved seeing him next to Copperhead’s highly saturated design!

That’s unfortunately all that I liked however; All the human character design is unmemorable to me. Every character looks exactly like another easily identifiable anime character from a different property (Hayley looks exactly like Zero Suit Samus to me, for example. And Mei kept reminding me of both Bernadetta Fire Emblem and Motoko Kusanagi from GitS. The list goes on).

I can sort of understand why they’re so bland? A franchise going from Live Action to something as heavily stylized as anime is probably a really difficult transition and these designs are probably meant to be more lowkey than more unique anime designs in order to help that transition. But realistically stylized designs can still be recognizable and unique! These feel uninspired and bare bones.

I have no problem with the switch to CGI animation that modern anime is doing because I know it’s a lot cheaper to produce and it can still be really unique and striking! But The Black’s model animation felt very stilted and inconsistent. I don’t have a lot of knowledge about animating so I don’t think I can accurately describe what I disliked? Wooden is probably the best term. Character movements felt wooden and things like hair and clothes felt plastic.

Impacts also had very little weight. The fight between Tayler/Mei and Copperhead reminded me of when you’re in a dream and trying to punch something, but you can’t punch hard. It was simply too floaty and too soft. The final showdown in “Showdown” was better, but not by much. It was very immersion breaking seeing these Giant Robots and Giant Monsters unable to throw a real solid hit!

Characters

My favorite character was unequivocally Joel Wyrick. We love Joel Wyrick in this house! Joel’s character has real charisma and charm. I love his flirtations with Loa, how his cocky disposition is juxtaposed with his drinking problem and later insecurities over his lost memories, and his genuine kindness shown to Mei, Taylor, and Boy. No one ever plays with Boy, they just run after him and drag him around...but Joel has this moment in “Escape from Bogan” where he kneels down to Boy and helps him collect rocks. It was sweet!

So of course, when Joel dies for absolutely no reason 5 minutes later - pissed! I was pissed! I yelled “COME ON” aloud in my studio apartment! I was genuinely so excited to see him interact more with the rest of cast then, poof. No More Joel.

His death felt like it was for shock value to me rather than actual narrative development. Why kill him when we still don’t fully understand his and Mei’s relationship? Why were they so close? Were they childhood friends, or just coworkers that happen to become friends? Why did he specifically know all the details of Shane’s abuse towards Mei before she did?

What did his death accomplish? It made Mei sad...ok? She was already...very sad. Her running away from Shane already had consequences - the consequences of Shane coming after them for revenge in the future. Why did Joel have to become a causality?

His death is ultimately tied to Mei’s character arc which is, unfortunately, my least favorite :c I find Mei to be a really one dimensional character with a personality, backstory, outlook, and motivation that I’ve seen done a million times before with a million other characters. She feels very out of place in the franchise as a whole - Pacific Rim is, at it’s core, a story about connecting with others. Her self-centric arc and lack of desire to connect outside of drifting really alienates her from the story at large and it frustrates me how long The Black’s narrative spends on her.

Hayley and Taylor were otherwise very interesting in the pilot episode, but become similarly one dimensional at the story chugs on. Taylor’s unflinching (bordering on unhealthy) faith in their parents was really interesting next to Hayley’s complete acceptance of their parents’ death. But once the two of them make up their differences, they lack an interesting dynamic and become very passive protagonists.

Taylor especially has no personality - how would you describe Taylor? He’s...brave. He’s the older brother. He’s a leader? He’s nice? There is nothing noteworthy about him at all, which is sad considering I think he has the potential to be a really interesting way to explore the original movie’s influence on The Black’s story.

Hayley’s grief and self-blame are more interesting than Taylor’s...nothingness, but she still falls into this one-note trope of being the naive, excitable little sister. I guess I feel abnormally frustrated about this flat character writing because Pacific Rim’s incredibly unique cast has always been an inspiration to me! It feels sad that this new iteration into the series is full of what feel like stock characters.

Then we get to Boy. How come Boy can’t have a person name? It’s specifically written in a dialogue between Taylor and Hayley: “I’m not going to call him Chad or Barnaby or one of those names for a baby brother you wanted as a kid,”

Why?

He’s by all accounts a human child when they find him. Yes, he was found in a big green test tube - but he walks and acts just like a human child. The only difference, seemingly, is that he is non-verbal and engages in strange/annoying behavior (running off, eating bugs, etc). So he isn’t deserving of a name?? I don’t know why that makes me so mad, it just does. it’s like they refuse to treat him as a human even before they find out he’s a Kaiju - it��s super weird! How can the story sell me on the three of them becoming found family (like they’re seemingly trying to do) if the protagonists won’t even treat this kid like a kid??

Misc. Thoughts

The callbacks to Stacker, Herc, and Raleigh were cool! I also like that Herc is a major plot point! We love Herc Hanson and it’s what he deserves. I also find Loa’s connection to Horizon Bravo very interesting...and the fact we’re getting Kaiju cultist lore! Love that! Love that!

Fucked up that the only two dark skinned characters were: 1) removed from the story 10 minutes in with no call back yet, 2) Killed after having 1 line of dialogue and fridged for the character development of the blonde white girl. I really need to know what the deal with those 4 characters leaving in the beginning was about - I absolutely thought we’d see them again by now, but no dice

I don’t know how to feel about Ajax and have no clue what their purpose in the story is. They’re cool, but whats the point?

If Mei and Taylor are paired up together romantically, I’m putting Craig Kyle and Greg Johnson in the time out box. Very tired of seeing random hetero romance B plots in stories that can’t even get their A plots together

Overall, it’s kind of subpar! It has the foundations of a really interesting story, but the pacing and characters really took me out of it. I’m interested in Season 2! I know season 2 is already ordered and I’d love to see how things continue to develop, see if the character writing gets any better - but I’m not too hopeful unfortunately. I really really love Pacific Rim after all these years and I’m happy to still be getting content and world building! There’s just sooo much I would change about this however. At least fanfiction’s free!

Thanks for reading all this, I have ADHD and just go on and on if u let me. hmu if You Too have thoughts about Pacific Rim: The Black and have no one to talk abt them with

#pacific rim #pacific rim: the black #pacific rim the black #taylor travis #hayley travis #long post #sorry this is thousands of words. i contain multitudes

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earthlyemily · 3 years

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I’m struggling so much financially and honestly just wanted to vent somewhere. I’ve always lived in poverty and I think in my whole life I’ve had maybe 2 years where I didn’t have to stress about money and not be able to buy groceries or pay rent or be put into collections for not being able to make payments etc and that was when I was in college. For at least the past 5 years I’ve been struggling but I never talk about it. I don’t even know where to start haha I don’t even know what it’s like to not stress financially and be in debt. I’ll just start with the first things that come to mind with what I’m owing maybe. So it’s Dec. 23 and rent was due yesterday because we moved into this small suite attached to someone’s house on Nov. 22. It’s $1200 which is so expensive, but also the average price for BC if not even cheaper for a one-bedroom with a yard, utilities included. and no first and last, no pet deposits, etc because this is just short them for 4 months until the end of March because i reached out and asked and they said yes.

After 1 month I already remember why we went into the trailer almost 2 years ago and it’s literally because we can’t afford any other lifestyle. I think that’s the difference between us and some people that live in trailers, vans, etc. like we lived in a mouse & mouse shit infested trailer for 6 months breathing in their feces and urine and having it all over all our belongings. i literally had to take my whole life to the dump and we officially have no food storage because they ruined it all. there were at least 50-60 mice because a few birth cycles happened in the ceiling. I could write a whole post about my experience of living with field mice, but now isn’t the time so for rent, i only had $600 yesterday so that’s what I gave them. thank goodness they were okay with me asking for a few more days to make the other half. but I don’t even know when that’s going to be :(

my etsy shop veganveins has been doing so bad lately for more than one reason, most of my orders are just postcards and stickers, and while I’m grateful for them, that $1-3 profit isn’t going to keep my business going. and it’s so hard for me to work lately. the wifi doesn’t work sometimes for hours and I always get distracted by shawn and the dogs working from home in a small space. I need to get better at my time management. I got up at 8:30 today which is actually early for me so I’m proud of myself. I’m chronically ill and I really need to go get a blood test and see what’s happening because I haven’t gotten one since being diagnosed with graves disease again 1.5 years ago. anyways. i switched to a print on demand method this year for veganveins for some shirts and sweaters because i couldn’t afford to keep ordering shirts in bulk, and it’s honestly been so, so expensive and i barely make any profit. I’m currently owing my t-shirt printer $999 on one invoice (it was originally $2196 so I’ve at least paid half of it) but that was 2 weeks ago and I still need to pay it. Mario, my t-shirt printer has been with me since I started veganveins and I’m so grateful he gives me extensions on paying the invoices. every other t-shirt printer I’ve ever asked has said no. in addition to the $999 there’s going to be another $2200 invoice I’ll be receiving this week for my last order. I think because of the holidays he’s going to give me some time to pay off that too, but the problem is when I have outstanding invoices he doesn’t print new orders for me. He’s closed now until Jan. 4 so I just need to somehow make that much before then.

btw I don’t have a credit card ($8500 all used on veganveins and it got put into collections last march) and I had a fully used $5000 line of credit but I got a debt consolidation loan for $16,000 1 month ago and my payment for that is $167 a month. it fully paid off and closed my credit card and line of credit + $3000 overdraft which is nice. but now I don’t have any extra money except for what comes in. my credit is only 640 which is really bad in canada so I won’t get approved for a new credit card or loan until I build that up, which is going to be a few months of regular payments. so for regular payments, the $167 for the loan is due on Dec. 27. Yesterday the trailer loan which is literally unliveable from what the mice did until we renovate it came out for $260, that’s how much I pay once a month for it on the 22nd. I didn’t have $260 in my account so it got rejected and I got charged a $48 NSF fee. omg if anyone is reading this long i’m shook. i’m genuinely just writing this for myself to process my feelings and in case anyone was curious about my financial situation here you go haha. maybe some of you can relate, maybe some can’t. anyways. so now I somehow have to get $260 in my account for that for when they try to take it out again in the next few days.

another payment that was supposed to come out yesterday but hasn’t, but I’m sure will come out today is our truck loan. they deferred it for 8 months because of covid which was so nice, but we started paying it again 2 months ago. for both those months I called and made my payment a later date and that helped, but there’s barely any service here so when I called 4 times yesterday to try and change the date the payment comes out, I was on hold for 20-30 mins then my phone would disconnect and hang up. so that’s $586 and it will come out today, I have $0.46 in my account right now so it will get rejected and I’ll get charged another $48 NSF fee. this is why being poor always costs more and the banks are always harsher on those who don’t have money. today I’ll try calling again to see if I can ask for it to come out on a different day like january 10 instead, so I can first have time to pay rent and the trailer and also our $190 truck insurance which got rejected from my account 3 days ago, which was another $48 NSF fee. oh and something else i’m so stressed about is CIBC is going to put me into collections on December 28 if I don’t pay $1000, $700 of which is purely their fees. I have a $300 overdraft which they said i have to cover by then and the $700 is literally their $48 fees added up over the past 3 months. I got a text from them today saying my account is over and it’s because an amnesty international $11 monthly donation came out and obvi there’s no money in there, so that’s another $48 they charged. they’ve already given me a month to pay it and don’t want to wait any longer :(

I owe everyone in my family money, my sister $1650, my mom $700 and my brother also lent me $700. none of my siblings have money either and my mom definitely doesn’t so I hate that i had to borrow that much, and it’s literally been months. thankfully they’re so patient but i can’t wait to not owe them that

omg and i can’t even think about the amount of money shawn’s grandma has lent us. she’s genuinely the only reason we haven’t been completely homeless. but it’s a lot. like i don’t even want to say the number on here. she let us use it from her line of credit over the years and we’ve been slowly paying her back, but she lets us go months at a time without making a payment which i honestly hate doing, but have no choice. i’ve felt a lot of shame and guilt about this, but I also know that she genuinely would rather help us than see us suffer.

so i’m gonna talk about a big reason I’m broke this month especially - saving a pig named buster. his rescue cost me $1850 out of pocket that I didn’t have. but otherwise he was going to be killed in 2 days, he was my baby and I loved him so I had to do it. I somehow made $1350 that went towards it but I’m still owing $500, which I just asked for an extension for today until the new year. i’m not really supposed to talk about it but everything I’ve ever posted here has stayed here, so that cost was literally just from me buying the pig off the farmer. myself along with everyone else ive talked to is disgusted that he charged that much, but he wasnt budging and if that’s what it was going to take, of course I’m going to do it. I wouldn’t think twice about doing it for my dogs and Buster was smarter and more affectionate than them. i love him and I’m so happy he was saved. a non-profit organization transported him to a sanctuary and it was my biggest wish come true and the happiest moment I’ve had all year. my eyes are literally tearing up haha i love him so much. i could write a whole post about his neglect but basically he hasn’t had fresh water in weeks, he was only being fed handfuls of mixed nuts, he was constantly dirty in a muddy enclosure with an electric fence that he was always getting shocked on. he never got true love or affection except for when I gave him it. i posted an instagram story about him and asked people to message me and that i needed help, 2 people donated $111 and $120 each, and 2 other people donated $15 and $12. Someone also e-transferred me $20. These 4 donations equaled almost $300 ($277) and I was so grateful for those people wanting to help me help buster. if anyone else wants to help me with the cost of his rescue i still do need help and would appreciate it so much. this feels really weird and vulnerable for me to do and i’m sorry if anyone is annoyed by this post, I just genuinely am struggling and figured if someone does have extra and wants to help, there isn’t harm in that. but i do feel guilty for asking because i know there are so many other people struggling out there that need even more help than i do :(

i haven’t talked about it publically but i guess I will now, this farmer that I bought buster off of is the owner of the organic vegetable farm i was living and working at this past spring and summer. we worked really hard all summer to be able to stay there and park for free in the winter, but this past fall he told us no one was allowed to stay at the farm anymore, including us, so we had to find a new place to bring our 14ft trailer in to live. so that was an unexpected bummer and if we had known we wouldn’t be allowed staying there anymore (despite doing the labour of $1200 a month for free harvesting organic kale, for an off-grid spot he told us was worth $350 a month to park) we wouldn’t have driven 8 hours with the trailer and we would have stayed in the snow in northern BC and sucked it up and lived on the land we got the opportunity to rent this fall. Donna, the woman who is renting the land to us has been the biggest blessing in my life this year. I love her so much. Basically, she’s letting us live on 170 acres for $600 a month. letting us do whatever we want on the land (building a cabin, setting up rainwater catchment systems, having a solar passive greenhouse and a huge garden) LIKE WHAT. we could even open a farm sanctuary if we had money, i wanted to so bad but obviously that dream didn’t even come close to being reality. opportunities like this literally don’t exist in canada, especially not in BC. i cant even process my gratitude, i cry everytime i think about it. when we go back in the spring it’s going to be the beginning of the rest of our life :) i want to rescue so many senior dogs. everything we’ve always wanted to do we’ll be able to do, assuming we have money haha. but i want to have an organic farm and grow veggies to donate to families in need, especially since we live on stolen indiginious land and I see how the goverment actively restricts their access to fresh healthy produce. but anyways by then it was too dangerous to drive 8 hours back hauling a trailer in the snow and it was just easier to stay in the okanagan until the spring. i know the farmer probably doesn’t realize this and he’s also probably struggling financially but not being able to stay at the farm for the winter months we worked for, and buying buster for that price is a big reason I’m in the financial stress I am now so I figured i’d talk about it.

anyways. i think this is long enough and i think anyone reading this gets the point, i’m drowning in debt, my small business is almost costing me more to run and i’m not making nearly enough profit to live, the past few months ive been living off grid (not by choice) and just focused literally on surviving and not freezing and getting water etc and not having service or internet has affected me negatively. there’s internet now in the suite I’m in, it works really good in the morning and not as well at night, like for example tumblr doesn’t work past 5 pm for me to post photos. but ive been in a bad sleep schedule since i got here that i need to change. im sick and i need to heal myself. tomorrow i’ll set my alarm for 7:30. hopefully i make some money today. i got a social media managing job and it will end up being $1000 a month once i do the 3+ hours a day of work which im already feeling like i barely have time for my own basic life tasks. but i can do this.

if anyone reading this wants to help me out a bit, my paypal email is [email protected] or http://www.paypal.com/paypalme/veganveins

and my e-transfer email is [email protected] i have auto deposit so you won’t have to ask a question :)

this is my first time in 7 years i’ve made a post like this or asked for help. i won’t do it again but figured i have nothing to lose. if you read up to here i love you a lot and thank you so much for being here <3

#personal #finances #broke #poor #vegan #small business owner #graves disease #saving animals #off grid #I wonder if anyone will even read this all #debt #life update lol #p

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hellitwasyoufirstsergeant · 3 years

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Hi everyone! I’m not really sure why I’m posting this here, I suppose because I’m not ready for people I know ‘irl’ to see this, and this is the only account I have anywhere where none of my irl friends follow it. As to why I’m posting this at all, I’m not so sure either. I suppose largely for myself, in the hope that it will exorcise some demons, and partly for other people, because eating disorders just are not discussed enough and perhaps by posting this I can show someone else that they’re not alone.

There may be mistakes in this and it may not all be 100% coherent, I found it hard to write and I didn’t wish to read it back over.

WARNING: The following post contains discussions of eating disorders and mental health issues. Please do not read if this is a trigger for you, and please not not read if you’re only here to pass judgement

Looking back now, it’s so easy to realise why I felt the way I did, and to see my descent into mental illness. At the time, it was confusing as hell. I wasn’t diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder and clinical depression until I was 17, although I had been suffering from both for six years already, I just didn’t realise it, because I just didn’t know they existed. I didn’t know there were medical conditions to describe how I felt, perhaps if I did I wouldn’t have felt so alone and so alienated. It wasn’t until last year that I realised I’d suffered from an eating disorder. Before that, I didn’t know that binge eating was an eating disorder.

The words ‘eating disorder’ to me conjured up images of skeletal bodies, of people making themselves sick. I wish that preteen and teen me knew that I was suffering from an actual condition, that other people suffered from too.

I don’t recall specifically the first time I binged on food, but over autumn (fall) of 2011 it became a regular occurrence, a habit. It was my way of coping with the changes in my life - starting a new school, my mum being diagnosed with a clinical illness and an increasingly fractured relationship with my dad - and my feelings of loneliness. I was also self conscious about my body, I was in a more advanced stage of puberty than most of my peers and I was aware of the fact that I was a little overweight. Bingeing became an outlet for feelings that I couldn’t understand, and therefore that I couldn’t process.

It was a process that I repeated regularly for six years. It was like a paradox, the more I looked at myself in the mirror and hated what I saw, the more I binged, the very thing that made me carry on putting on weight. I was overweight, I still am today, but I wish that I could have seen myself the way others saw me - slightly chubby but not the ugly monster I thought myself at the time. I ate my feelings away, it was the only coping mechanism I knew. Even when in some ways my life improved - when I was 14 I finally fell in with a group of friends who were kind and who made me feel accepted - my mental state continued to decline and I continued to eat to cope. I was also feeling confused about my sexuality, something that increased my sense of alienation and otherness. It was often the only thing that got me through the day, the only thing that made life bearable to me.

I never confided the way I felt or my problem with food to anyone during this period. My mum knew that I had issues with food, twice she found hidden stashes in my bedroom. She has been a good parent to me, but I so wish she’d handled it differently. She made me feel ashamed, something that made me more determined to hide my problem and therefore to not confront it. I think perhaps that she would’ve been a lot more understanding had she known the feelings behind the problem, but I didn’t know how to go about telling her.

I can’t remember how old I was exactly when I shoplifted food for the first time, I think around 14. The £10 a week pocket money was no longer enough to fund my problem, even though I always chose the cheapest food so that I could buy as much as possible. I shoplifted semi regularly from the local supermarkets for around 18 months, I still don’t know how I was never caught.

In September 2016, I started sixth form college. It was a fresh start that I so badly needed, my five years at secondary school having been so unhappy. It was hard to begin with, only my oldest friend went to the same college as me and old feelings of loneliness resurfaced. A part of me had hoped that the change of school would allow me to leave my bingeing habit behind, but it wasn’t to be. Even when I settled in and began making friends, I continued bingeing.

New friends at college told me of their mental health issues, and I finally felt understood - there were other people who felt the way I did, other people who wanted to die. These feelings may not be normal, but I’m not alone anymore. Despite feeling accepted properly for the first time in my life, I continued to eat. Perhaps it was the stress of A levels (my fellow Brits know how fucking hard these are), or my mum’s decline in health, or my increasingly worsening relationship with my dad.

In May/June time of 2017, my oldest friend, Imogen, who was one of a few friends now aware of my poor mental state, told me that I should go to the doctor. After a little persuading, I agreed. She came with me, but the appointment achieved nothing. I tried a few more GPs at my local surgery and eventually found one who made me feel listened to, and who was kind and sympathetic. I don’t recall the exact time I was diagnosed (to be honest this period in my life is a bit of a blur), but after some months I was finally diagnosed with GAD and clinical depression. I still continued to stay silent about my problem with food.

Ironically, it was actually the further decline of my mental state that allowed me to break my old habit. My mental health had declined fairly slowly over the past few years, but the decline accelerated over autumn and winter of 2017. I don’t know if there was a trigger behind that, I guess mental health doesn’t need a reason. I didn’t know how to deal with the way I felt, I lashed out and fell out with Imogen, which hit me hard. We didn’t talk at all for three months. Before this period, I had often thought that things would be so much easier if I was dead, but my thoughts had never progressed beyond that. Now, it became more active. I actually wanted to die. I stopped looking when I crossed the road, I stopped looking after my physical health at all. Fears about hurting my mum were the only thing stopping me from taking it further. But, I finally stopped binge eating, so disinterested in life that even the that no longer made me feel better.

My mental state didn’t take a turn for the better, but I grew used to these new feelings and started to process them properly. I got better at pushing them out, but I did eventually decide to tell my parents about my diagnoses. My mum was very supportive, she still is, my dad not so (although I probably should’ve expected that). I made up with Imogen, my behaviour started to normalise. I felt so free from my old bingeing habit, it had only been a few months but it felt like a lifetime ago.

In February 2018, my mum told me that she’d be moving to Yorkshire. She’d been forced by her job to take early retirement due to ill health, she was only 50 at the time, and wanted to live somewhere cheaper so she could save on living costs and pay off her mortgage. I was scared, and considered for a time moving in with my grandparents so that I could stay in a place where I knew people, but eventually decided that I’d move with my mum. Still, despite the biggest change ever to happen in my life, I managed to avoid a return to my binge eating habit. I’m still not sure how. Perhaps now that the habit was broken it no longer had the hold over me that it once did.

And then, around March 2018, my dad gave me £500. To this day I still have no idea why, I guess guilt. But it was so much more money than I’d ever had. The temptation not to spend any of it on food was too great. I decided to treat myself, I’d spend £100 on food and put the rest in my savings.

By the time I finished college at the beginning of June, the entire £500 was gone, at least £450 of it spent on food. I still remember the binge I had the day after me and mum moved out of our old home and in with my grandparents, who we lived with for seven weeks before going to Yorkshire. My mental state declined still further, and I wasted most of those weeks in bed, not having the energy to do anything. I kicked myself later for not using it to spend time with the friends I was leaving behind.

After we moved to Yorkshire in August, I spent two of the worst months of my life. My old feelings of loneliness resurfaced, not helped by the fact that one of my closest friends just stopped talking to me. I seemed to alternate between binge eating, my binges even bigger than they ever had been, and hardly eating at all.

But, eventually, I managed to settle in. I got a job, I made new friends. I didn’t make a conscious decision to stop binge eating again, it just happened. I wasn’t lonely anymore, but my mental state didn’t seem to get any better. But, I had healthier ways of coping and I didn’t need to binge as an outlet for my feelings anymore. In September 2019, I started uni, and I finally felt like my life had a purpose.

Now, I have more and better friends than I ever had. I’m glad I made the move to Yorkshire, where I live now is much nicer where I grew up and if I hadn’t made the move there are so many amazing people I wouldn’t have met. Most of my friends are aware of my mental health issues, although I rarely discuss them in detail.

However, only one of my friends is aware of my eating disorder. I didn’t realise until last year that binge eating was classified as an eating disorder. I’m not quite sure why, but this discovery prompted me to finally confide in my oldest friend, Imogen. She was very supportive and understanding, and I know my other friends would be, but it’s still something where I look back and I’m like ‘woah that actually happened’. Putting it out of my mind as much as possible has been my way of coping with the fact that it did happen. I have been slightly more open online that I have irl about the fact that I had an eating disorder, but this is the first time I have discussed it this in depth with anyone.

I’m going to say now what I wish preteen and teen me had known: you are not alone. Whether you’re suffering from an eating disorder, from mental health issues, or from something else, you are not alone. I can’t say truthfully that I have never regretted confiding in someone, but the majority of the time it has helped me, even in a small way. Please talk to someone if you have an eating disorder, be it a friend, a family member, a GP, a teacher, even me. It is nothing to be ashamed of.

I stopped binge eating as a regular habit at the start of winter 2018. Although I relapsed a couple times last year, it’s been twelve months and counting since my last binge.

#shut up ange #please everyone remember that no matter what you’re going through #you are not alone #find later

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captaincvans · 5 years

Text

Chapter Two: Mind Made of Stone

10/18/19

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Word Count: 1807+

Warnings: Language! Sad!Chris

Series Masterpost

A/N: Sorry I kinda disappeared!! I basically re-wrote this entire series in the past week because i had a bunch of ideas for it, and didn’t like where it was heading. I hope you guys like this chapter~ Lemme know what you think 😊

Christopher Robert Evans was raised to be humble, and his mother taught him not to have his money or fame get the best of him. This was one of the main reasons he found himself doing his own taxes once he turned of age. It got a bit more difficult as he received more income, but he thought he did well. The IRS never came after him, so he assumed he was doing everything correctly. Almost a year ago, he had a few reunion with his college buddies, and he got the chance to catch up with his Jason Kwon, known in college for his drunken dart skills, now an accountant with a husband and two golden retrievers. Chris shared his struggles with his taxes, and Jason was quick to offer his help. Unfortunately, Jason had only bad news for him. According to his previous pay stubs and contracts, there should have been a lot more money in his account.

Chris’s POV

I was finally heading home, filming had wrapped up late November, and I could finally enjoy December in Boston without worrying about my projects. Not that I had any lined up, I discretely took a break from it all since the investigation. The past few months were the most stressful time of my life. I was beaten down and exhausted, and I wanted nothing more than this whole ordeal to end already. Jason insisted that I went through every role and contract I had, as well any royalties that was made in the last ten years. He wanted to do this as soon as possible to make sure that everything was resolved before I had to file my taxes. It was soon pretty evident that the middle-man was the cause of the whole issue. The middle man being my manager, Daniel Kolb. He was in charge of most of my finances, as in, he controlled the account that the money was going into. I still had my personal account, but most of my money sat in that account that he had control over.

I felt relief that the press still haven’t caught whiff of the situation, with so many moving parts in the investigation I was worried that it would leak before I had the chance to clear things up. Right before I went home for the holidays, I was informed that Daniel made a deal with the police. He would say who else was in on the scam, and he would be sentenced to a lesser degree. I hated it, but I had to know who else would betray me like this. He only said one name, and it was the one I never would have thought.

Y/N L/N.

My guard was up the minute I came home. She betrayed my trust. I shared with her my fear of being taken advantage of, and my reservation for dating people outside of the industry. She knew that. Hell, she was the first one to bring up her discomfort with dating someone famous. It was something we were both insecure about. She felt like whatever she did would never be good enough financially, and I felt like if not my partner, the people around them could easily take advantage of my money and fame.

I was picking up fights with her, I knew that and she knew that. I just wanted her to confess that she was taking money from me. I wanted her to tell it to my face. Whatever I did, she wouldn’t budge. She acted like nothing was wrong, and she was confused whenever I brought up our finances. We kept our accounts separate, something she said would give her comfort in knowing that she can still provide for herself and me. I kept pushing it until the breaking point.

In reality I finished her decoy Christmas gift three months ago, and her real Christmas gift eight months ago. The chunky wool blanket I made her sitting patiently in the closet of my office where I knew she would never go into, and the beautiful cathedral setting engagement ring I hand-made sat in the locked drawer of my office table. Two items that I knew would never see the light of day. I wanted to burn them at the thought of her betrayal, clenching my teeth so hard, my jaw ached. I didn’t bother putting up a front with my family at Christmas, my disdain at its peak when once again she brought up splitting the cost for the gifts she bought my nieces and nephew. The truth would come out in a few weeks time, I just had to wait for the warrant to be approved before they could start investigating her accounts. When we finally got home, I wanted nothing more than to snuggled in to my bed. Y/N moved to the guest bedroom a week ago, and it’s been nice to have the whole bed to myself again. I was just about to make it to the stairs when I heard her voice.

“Chris, can we talk?” I could hear the uneasiness in her tone, and wanted to scoff at her fake innocence.

“About what?” I barked, my hand automatically going to my hip.

“It was just really awkward today…” she trailed off, chewing on her bottom lip.

I rolled my eyes. “Just because I didn’t get you a gift one time?!”

“No, no! It’s not like that- I don’t care that you didn’t get me anything. It’s just… I bought those Disney World passes for us… Daniel said you would be doing the last month of your filming in California so I figured I could take some time off and we can go together after you’re done.”

“So you’re upset that I wasn’t more excited for it? Jesus, you know I hate it when you make plans without considering my plans. What if I don’t want to stay in California after filming? You know I only leave Boston when I have to.”“I know, but I thought it would be easier for you to stay in California for an extra month, instead of coming back here and having to spend money on another flight there.”

I scoffed, my arms folded in front of me. This is how manipulative she could get, I realized. She was trying to turn this around, as if she was doing me a favour. Before, I would’ve eaten this up, cooing at how kind and thoughtful she was, but now I know better. “It’s always about money with you, isn’t it?”

“What?! What do you mean?” She had the audacity to look confused and upset, but I can see through her.

“You’re always talking about money- telling me that I should save here and save there when I want something, but when you want something you don’t care about my savings anymore.”

“Chris, I never asked you to-“

“We both know you’re only with me for my money anyways,” I spat, saying the words I’ve been wanting to say to her these past months.

““Chris, what the fuck?! You know that’s not true-” she exclaimed, but I could only scoff.. “Chris, I love you for you- I don’t-”

I finally snapped when she said those three words. How dare she manipulate me, hurt me, and then tell me that she loved me. A burst of fury filled my heart as I spat out a couple of words strung together that I knew would end our relationship. “You love my money. You love being spoiled. Honestly, don’t know why I bothered with you- I basically was just paying you to hang out and have sex with me.” I was on a tirade, and I couldn’t stop. The words just coming out of my mouth like hot lava, and I could see her shrink away with every word, and that just made me angrier. “I should’ve just gone with a prostitute- they’re probably cheaper and at least they keep themselves in shape. You just look like you’ve really let yourself go- honestly, how much weight did you gain while you were fattening yourself up with my money?”

I could see the moment she knew this wasn’t just a small fight that I would eventually fix. This was huge, and I was pissed. “I think we should break up,” she said, her voice small. I raised my eyebrow, thinking she would put more of a fight into the argument, afterall she was with me for my money, but I guess the jig was up. She knew she was caught. I watched her pack everything, making sure she took only what she bought. She turned to look at me again, her fingers playing with the scarf she was packing. “Um- I’m not sure how you want to go about this, but I think you should know anyways, and if you want to call me after you’ve calmed down a bit so we can discuss this-”

“Discuss what?” I asked, my patience wearing thin at her hesitance.

“I’m pregnant, Chris.”

I couldn’t help but laugh and shake my head. Was she serious? She was just gonna try to pull the oldest trick in the book on me. Does she think I was stupid? But I guess she was desperate. “Really? You’re gonna pull that one on me? I’ve had my share of sluts pretending to be pregnant with my baby. Stop lying to try to tie me down to you. It ain’t gonna work. You’re not getting any more money from me.”

“I’m serious, Chris. I could show-”

“Well, I don’t believe you. You probably got knocked up by someone else.”

“I never-”

“Just get out. I’ll leave your stuff with the concierge downstairs.” With that I opened the door for her, making sure she was heading out before closing the door. I felt relief wash over me as I removed that last toxic part of my life. Through all the anger, the emotion I felt the most was betrayal. I trusted her and loved her so much, and she went around to hurt me like this. I could finally feel the dam breaking as tears made my way down my face, my head falling to my hands as I continue to sob at the loss of everything I knew to be real. The family I trusted outside of my own family, and they all deceived me. I was at a loss on what to do, but at least there was one person I knew I could always count on. I called my mom.

<– (Chapter 1) (Chapter 3) –>

- Tag List -

@lost-in-t-h-e-abyss @vogueworthy-barnes @hista-girl @tfandtws @aletteredaffair @traceyaudette @lupine-princess @songforhema @stella2445 @coffeebooksandfandom @qrndevans @straightforwardly @cesarofangirl78 @buckybarneslove76 @kaithezaftig @evanstush @ownerofthebastard @jadedhillon @ka-x-in @lili-ann-love @bulldozed88 @dolan-mendes @jeleners1430 @yougurt-con-avena @fandomoneshots-imagines @patzammit @ramblingsnfandom @beanthedoggo @luckylightfiction @luckyfiction17 @hautejily @chrisevanssleeping @snave-sirhc @gemgemswift @firstangeldragonranch @hiddlesbitch1 @virtualmemmecollector @heladoom @crimeshowtrash @notyourtypicalrose @peach-acid @uneniffler @cloudyskylines @simmisblog @shikshinkwon @queenkronk @aubageddon91 @thefandomzoneisdangerous @the-soulofdevil

#Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #Chris Evans fandom #chris evans x reader #chris x reader #josephine writes #steve rogers x reader #chris evans oneshot #steve rogers #marvel #marvel fics #marvel oneshot #marvel fanfiction

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dashuisofanubis · 4 years

Text

Ghost AU

A house named after a deity of death has many secrets to hide.

A/N I came up with this AU over 2 years ago now, and started writing a fic for it, but I never finished it, so here's a tidied up version of the plotline. I might write some oneshots for this AU at some point but idk.

KT, Eddie and Willow are students at the University of Liverpool and are searching for somewhere to live. They find a house which, despite its size and grandeur, is cheaper than most houses around. They work things out with the landlord, Trudy and are soon ready to move in. They find out the reason this house was so cheap is because 5 years ago a student died at a party after having a tainted drink, and no one really wanted the house after that, saying it had a bad energy. While disturbed by the news, they move in anyway.

Willow says the energy isn't bad, if anything the house feels sad, or lonely. Trudy agrees with her and says the house could use some company.

They plan to get more roommates to help cover the costs, but first they have to clean the place up. Then they realise they already have some roommates....

Order of Appearance:

1822 - Victor (???)

1898 - Amber, 20 (Fell down the stairs) - hallway

1907 - Fabian, 19 (Fire) - tower room

1916 - Jerome, 18 (???)

1919 - Alfie, 16 (illness. His family moved out soon after) - lower bedroom

1953 - Joy, 17 (murdered) - attic

1953 - Patricia, 17 - (murdered, 2 weeks after joy, they were best friends and she was searching for her) - attic

1977 - Mara, 16 (drowned in the pond outside)

1996 - Mick, 15 (went in the house for a dare while it was derelict and fell through the floor) - tower room

2008 - Nina, 20 (tainted drink)- lounge

Amber and Fabian know roughly how Jerome died, but they're not telling. Alfie has some idea, but refuses to pry.

Mick, Mara, Patricia and Joy did not live in the house, they just died there. Jerome technically didn't live their either, he was staying with family friends (the Lewises)

They appear as they did when alive, but in times of stress or extreme emotion, they will look how they did at the moment of their death, i.e. Mara will drip water, Fabian will be covered in burns. While usually incorporeal, they can go poltergeist, which allows them to cause havoc. Usually this happens when they're angry, but they can do it just to mess about.

Jerome's usually silent and brooding, but Alfie can get him to loosen up and have fun. The few weeks before Eddie, KT and Willow know about the ghosts, they mess with them constantly.

For instance, Eddie is certain he left his keys on the counter, but for some reason they're in the fireplace. Both his housemates deny any allegations, but he still thinks KT did it.

Willow is most aware, feeling almost imperceptible changes in temperature. Plus, it doesn't help that she saw Amber looking back at her through the mirror on their first day. Now she just need to convince the others.

KT is confused when she sees the word 'same' written on her desk, right under her pride flag, but guesses she wrote it last night while drunk.

The ghosts try to help, in their own way. Fabian and Mara like to help with the budgeting, Joy and Patricia like to shout film recommendations, Alfie likes to try and help cook.

Each ghost has some negative habits, brought about due to their deaths. Fabian has a fear of fire, so even candles and incense are banned, though Fabian and Willow came to an agreement that she could keep some in her room, so long as she kept the door shut when using them. Nina has a habit of smashing bottles of alcohol left on the side. Patricia tends to talk about all the details of her and Joy's deaths when she's nervous, and neither will go in the attic.

There's also an old ghost in the place, even older than Amber, who appears at 10 o'clock every night in the foyer. No one knows anything about him, except his name, which Amber knew from her childhood.

Jerome and Alfie keep trying to guess Eddie's full name

(They know exactly what it is, but it's fun)

"Edward could you lend a hand?"

"Theodore?"

"Edwina?"

Trudy knows about the ghosts, and was glad when she got some people to come live with them.

At some point Eddie, KT and Willow have to search for new housemates because despite having 7 that laze about in the house NONE OF THEM PAY RENT.

It's just unfortunate (or potentially fortunate) that their first applicant, a 22 year old music student, turns out to be Mick's baby sister. She ends up not moving in, but comes to visit so often she might as well have.

So yeah, basically this au is tired, suffering uni students trying to deal with coursework, adult stuff, and ghostly shenanigans at 3 in the morning.

#house of anubis #ghost au #hoa #im just a sucker for ghost stories that arent scary #also me? putting sanna into hoa things just bc i stan her? its more likely than you think #hoa au

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

Text

Do you feel comfortable wearing tube tops? Noooo. You’ll never see me in a tube top. I don’t even wear tank tops. Has something someone said today annoyed you? Not so far, ha. I haven’t interacted with anyone, yet. It’s only 4:33AM. Can you hear the crickets chirping at night? No. Do you like listening to new music, or just sticking to your favorites? I like new music, but I do love listening to my good ol’ favorites. I have a playlist that consists of a variety of music, new and old, from various genres and decades, that I just click shuffle and listen. So far, where have you been on vacation? I haven’t gone anywhere this year, yet.

Did you ever feel that there was something you couldn't tell anyone? Yep. Old stuff and ongoing, current stuff. Do you tend to gossip, even if you don't mean it to cause harm? It does happen. I’ll see something on social media about someone I know and tell my mom or brother. Family gossip stuff. Not to talk shit, but it’ll be like, “omg did you see what so and so posted/did/whatever.” Or like if someone is pregnant or broke up or whatever. My main gossip is celebrity stuff, though. ha. When was the last time you were bitten by a bug? I don’t recall. It’s been a long time, thankfully. Have you ever gotten your hair permed? No. Do you have a pair of sunglasses that are worth over $200? I don’t have any sunglasses. I don’t wear ‘em, but if I did I sure wouldn’t spend that much. Not anywhere close. Would you ever go on a trip to Europe? Absolutely. I’d love to. There’s so many places I’d love to visit. Are you brave when it comes to trying new foods? Nopeee. I have the same few foods I rotate between. It’s a small list. When was the last time you saw your significant other? I’m single. Is there a friend that you can always go to for advice? I can go to my mom. Have you ever been to a town/place where the people were just creepy? No. Ew, I hope I never go somewhere like that. What's the fastest you've ever driven in a car? I’ve never driven a car. If you see a piano, are you tempted to go over and play a little something? I would. Especially because it’s been over 10 years since I last played. Is there someone you know who bakes amazing sweets? Yeah. Are you ashamed of your singing voice? I can’t sing for shit, but it doesn’t stop me from singing to myself or around my family. I try to sound as decent as I can, ha. I’m not like those people on American Idol they show that can’t sing well at all, but they think they can and they’re just on there wailing. lol. Has anyone teased you with the "K-I-S-S-I-N-G" song? Yeah. Have you ever had a dream where you could understand a foreign language? No. That would be weird. What time is it where you are? 4:45AM. Do you have anything important to do tomorrow? I have my Bible study stuff. Have you ever owned a beanbag chair? Yeah, when I was a kid we had one. If you own a laptop, do you have a case for it? I do. What was the last movie you purchased on DVD? I don’t even remember. I haven’t bought a physical DVD in yearssss. Are you a fan of retro things? Yeah. Do you do your own laundry? No. I need help with that, which my mom does. Have you ever used pastels? Yes. Is there a song you're listening to at the moment? No. Would you be considered to be knowledgeable about World War 2? Not really. Have you ever been in possession of a hundred dollar bill? Yes. Is there one food you cannot give up, even though you know it's unhealthy? I don’t eat healthy at all, but the worst thing I eat is probably ramen. I love it, though. Will you bother having a party for your next birthday? Nah, I’m old. I just like doing something lowkey with my parents and brother. Although, last year my aunt and cousin came over for a game night and cheesecake for my birthday and that was fun. I’d be up for that again. If you're with someone right now, do you think it will last? Who was the last person you flipped off? I have no idea. That’s not something I really do. Like, ever. Do you currently have a job? No. What was the last movie that was unable to capture your interest? Hmm. I don’t remember. Have you heard of the Irish actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers? The name rings a bell. Do you have something to do, that you would rather not do? There’s a few things. Are you, in any way, feeling hopeless right now? I’ve felt that way for a long time. Is there someone you just need to call and talk to? No. I don’t like talking on the phone. Are you one of those people who can eat anything and not gain a pound? Yes. I used to like that about myself, but it’s a problem for me, currently. These past few years I’ve lost weight due to health stuff and as someone who was already thin...yeah, not good. It’s caused problems for me. Are you nails painted at the moment? No. It’s been a few years since I’ve painted my nails. Is there a song you've been listening to lately on repeat? There’s a few songs lately that I always like to listen when listening to music. I just hit shuffle on my playlist, but there’s a few I like to just add to queue to make sure they come up. Lately, it’s been a couple Billie Eilish songs. Do you know who you're planning to ask to your grad prom? I’m 30 years old. I did go to prom; though, but I didn’t have a date. I just went with friends. When was the last time you went shopping? A few weeks ago. Is there anyone who did something absolutely hilarious today? Not so far. Again, it’s really early and I haven’t interacted with anyone, yet. Are you having one of those days where you feel unattractive? “one of those days” is everyday for me, old sport. I feel unattractive and I am unattractive. Do you like hot dogs? No. Do you ever get bored of your music collection and get new songs? I like to check out new music and add it to my playlist to add to the rotation, but I love my old stuff, too. Have you ever bought a designer purse? I’ve been gifted one. What's the limit on how much you would pay for a shirt? I’d say like $30. I mean, I’d obviously prefer cheaper if I can find a good sale or have a good coupon, but if not then yeah about $30. Would you ever like to see the Walk of Fame? Sure. Is it currently humid where you are? No. Have you been in any sort of physical pain today? Of course. Have you ever heard of the German movie Das Boot? Nope. Who were the last people you hung out with? My mom and brother. Has someone ever called you "obnoxious"? Not that I’m aware of. Most commonly, do you obey rules, or break them? I’m more of a rule follower. Do you like making funny faces in pictures? Nah. Is there something you look back on and go "I can't believe I did that"? A lot of things... Are you good at offering advice? I think I used to be. At least, my friends seemed to think so since I was the one they always came to for advice. I wouldn’t say I am now, though. No one should ask me anything. When was the last time you had to resort to a map? I just use Google Maps if I need directions. I’ve never used an actual map. Your significant other: have you told them you love them lately? What was the last thing to confuse you? Life. How many different colors have you dyed your hair? 3. Do you know someone who always spells "bored" like "board"? No. Are you wearing make up right now? No. I haven’t worn makeup in over a year. Is there a phrase that you use a lot? Words and phrases, yeah. Are you old enough to vote? I’ve been old enough to vote for over 10 years now. Do you have a favorite pair of earrings? Yes, the rose gold Minnie Mouse earrings I got for Christmas. Have you ever been to Disneyworld/Disneyland? I’ve been to Disneyland a few times. Have you dated someone more than twice? Not more than twice, but twice. Are you a fan of Keira Knightley? I’m indifferent. Have you ever resorted to alcohol to make you feel better? It never helped. Maybe briefly, but it was always short lived. Do you own a full-length mirror? Yeah. Do you ever go on PerezHilton.com to get all the celeb gossip? I see his tweets. Have you heard about Mel Gibson's rant/freakout? Yeah. That was ages ago. Do you wish your bedroom was bigger? Yes, that would be nice. My room is quite small and I have too much stuff. Are you aware of the significance of the date April 14th, 1912? I am, actually. Do you ever just lay back and watch the stars? No. Lately have you had much time to relax? You would think so since I spend majority of my time at home in bed. I wouldn’t call it relaxing, though. Not for me. I have health stuff, physically and mentally, and feel like crap, so. Did anything important/changing happen to you in March 2009? That was over 10 years ago, I don’t remember. I guess nothing that important happened. Nothing memorable, at least. Have you ever felt like a "new person"? Yes, but not in a good way. These past few years have changed me and not for the better. Do you own any expensive jewelry? Yes. What size is your TV? 32 inch, I think. Do you occasionally creep on people on Facebook? Nah. I don’t spend a lot of time on Facebook and what little time I do spend I’m just scrolling through my feed “liking” stuff and sharing an occasional post. I won’t say that I’ve never done that, though. ha. Who hasn’t. Has there been someone in your life that just wouldn't leave you alone? Yeah, in the past. Do you hate to use public bathrooms? Yes. I very rarely do. Do you find most remixes of songs to be good or bad? It really just depends. I’ve heard good ones and I’ve heard shitty ones. There have been some I liked better than the original. Write something to someone who means a lot to you: Nah. I’ll just say goodnight!

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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franeridart · 6 years

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Oh man, I'm just imagining that there's so many close brushes with kiribaku almost realizing or almost being in positions to find out that the other is a vigilante-- an injury and no way to get into contact with Jack or Mina-- a rainstorm washing Kiri's dye away on the job. I think it'd be especially funny if he thought for a minute that Kiri was bleeding but then Kiri is like "UH GOTTA GO ITS NOT BLOOD" and he realizes it's red hair dye

Oh Kirishima sort of already suspects it’s Bakugou - more or less? He’s in the process of starting to suspect it, at least lol for being someone who really doesn’t want to be found out Bakugou’s more carefree in his disguise than Kirishima is (his hair is a pretty obvious giveaway, for example, thought Bakugou relies a lot on the ‘attacking and running’ strategy, so in his mind all he gotta do is just not be seen by anyone at all lol) compared to Kiri he gets bruised and beaten up way more too (Kiri’s hardening makes it easy for him to avoid that in general) - Kiri’s noticing Bakugou’s bruises and his vigilante friend’s bruises match up a whole damn lot, so he’s starting to figure that one out

Bakugou’s a dumbass tho (read: he doesn’t really look at people he isn’t particularly interested in) so for him it’s gonna take a while haha

Anon said: If in vigilantes au Bakugou and jirou are just friends why do they live together and hug like a couple?

They’re best friends, and sometimes when your best friend is going through a real rough heartbreak and he’s in literal tears over it, you might be nice enough to offer your back for him to hide his face in and let him pretend he isn’t currently breaking down on you. Sometimes, you like a person in a platonic way enough to emotionally support them as best as you can when they’re at their lowest. It. Sort of happens between best friends, now and again. You don’t really need to want in someone’s pants to care about them.

They live together cause they started working together as vigilantes when they were in high school, and once they moved up to college they found it a good idea to have someone back home who knew about what they were doing to treat eventual wounds, since they can’t go to the hospital! Also the rent is cheaper this way

Anon said:Can you draw more comics of childhood kiribaku? You’re art is sooo cute 💓

It’s something I’ve regularly kept on going back on for years by now, so sure, it’ll probably happen! And thank you!

Anon said:OH MY GOD. Please tell me you will make an official webcomic of your Vigilante AU. It’s so beautiful, cute and I definitely need more of this. It’s like a drug that I did not know I needed until I read your concept(????). BTW, your art is soooo pretty. Thank you so much for drawing KiriBaku ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Ahhh I’m really happy to hear you like it! For personal reasons I’ve decided that making a cohesive, coherent succession of comics isn’t something I want to do, but I think I’ll draw more of that AU soon enough, snapshots and things like that! I hope that’s good enogh for you~

Anon said:May I request a pissed kiri??

Didn’t I draw that less than 10 posts ago

Anon said:Hey, I rlly admire you! I wish we were friends, you seem rlly nice!!

Thank you!!! The few close friends I have might tell you I’m actually not that great at the whole friends thing, but I appreciate the feeling a lot! :D

Anon said:Were Kirishima’s eyes red in the last panel of the last comic??

Yep :( he really does like Bakugou, after all

Anon said:I saw you answering the other anon and if I may ask, why posting the gem au was a big mistake? Were pol rude with you? If it’s so, I’m sorry abt it

Anon said:You said that posting your SU AU stuff was the biggest mistake you ever made… is it because of something that we, as viewers and worshippers of your KiriBaku (damn, I’ll never stop telling you it’s cute and adorable and it hurts but it’s also sweet), can help NOT doing? Or is there anything we can do?

It’s okay, it just got in the hands of people who don’t particularly like Bakugou, and these people started talking about the AU in less than nice terms, which was honestly pretty ridiculous and made me wonder how people can survive being alive on this earth when they consider Steven Universe sensitive material but either way it brought around in my activities a bunch of people I would have preferred not to interact with ever, and that sort of took the fun out of the AU? Now every time I think about drawing for it those people come back up in my head and I get annoyed all over again, it’s no fun

Anon said:are you still doing the fusion au? id love to see kaminari and shinsou

I’m not, sorry! Though someone did ask about baku and mineta and I’ve been thinking about drawing that horrible monster since then, and I’ve also been wanting to redesign the krbk fusion, so maybe I might get back to it ??? I’ll add shin*kami to the list haha

Anon said:I really like the relationship Jack and Bakugou have, and the angst is nice too! I really like the vigilatne AU! I hope we can see more of it, only if you feel like it of course!

Thank you so much ;;;

Anon said:Silly question. If Kirishima activated his quirk being in water. Would he float like wood, or he’d drown like a rock? >//w//

Oh, I’m pretty sure he’d go down since his quirk makes him into a rock haha

Anon said:I think this is around the eighth anonymous ask I send you, but being a porn-making Tumblr user, it’s better if I don’t go public. I just wanted to say, once again, that I love your KiriBaku, it makes me both ache and feel so warm and fuzzy inside; but right now, the focus is that Bakugou’s crying face against Jack’s back is just so good, expressive and painful. I often hate his guts, but yours I can never hate. And the sheer intensity of that expression, and the environment too… so many feels

Aw, thank you!!! I’m glad I can make you enjoy my fav character, anon :D !!

Anon said:I have a question about the vigilante AU. What’s the relationship between jirou and bakugou? Because they don’t look like just friends

Why don’t they look like just friends tho

Anon said:Hypothetically. How would Bakugou react (or what would he do) if Kirishima stopped showing interest in him?

Are we talking about a specific AU or is this meant for the canon universe? Well, either way I’d say he’d be pretty hurt, but it’s not like he can force Kirishima to like him can he. Ah, in the vigilantes AU he’d probably think it’s for the best even if he’d hurt a lot over it, but in canon and most other AUs I like to think he’d try to fix it somehow? Unless he has other reasons to not act on his feelings for Kirishima… gosh this is a vague question, there are so many possibilities really!

Anon said:🧡Hi Fran! I’m pretty sure you’re the one who introduced this concept to me so I wanted to say thanks! Touch starved Bakugou and super cuddly Bakugou are totally my fave, especially when you have him all curled up with Jirou! Having them be Mina and Kiri level besties makes so much sense and I love you for introducing that thought to me!!!🧡

I’m!!!!!!!!!!! so happy to hear that!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;O;

Anon said:in your vigilante au, Kiri has a scar, does Bakugo ever notice the scar?(curious if it reminds him of Red or nah, love yur art btw~~

When he’s not doing vigilantes work it’s actually hidden by the hair, so Bakugou never noticed! But if he were to notice he’d probably mark it down as a Kiri thing and leave it at that, as I said he’s not the most observant when he’s not particularly interested in someone so he hasn’t really registered it on Red’s face anyway haha

Anon said:I RLLY LOVE YOUR AU!! I haven’t found an AU in this fandom I’m rlly into but THIS IS SOCUTE??? will there be more?

Heck I sure hope so!! Thank you for liking it!!!

Anon said:hey for the anon you were looking for an outrageous ship to draw to test out their theory, try Tokoyami and Link (legend of Zelda link) cuz I just saw cosplayers of them hardcore dancing at dragoncon and I die every time I think about it. You can find a video of it on quirk-registration-office

…………………..I’m probably never gonna draw that ngl LMAO BUT this ask made me wanna draw Tokoyami as a Rito so I guess that’s ???? something that might happen instead heck that’s a good concept I should have thought about earlier

Anon said:I absolutely love your art its soon amazing and I really like the vigilantly au but take care of yourself okay

I dunno what I did to make you worry about me but thank you so much for it? I’ll try my best !!!! And thank you for liking my doodles too!!! ;^;

Anon said:Do you know about any fanfics based in your art?? (Idk if that’s grammatically correct sorry 😅)

Hmmmmmmmmmm there are a few but the only one that comes to mind right now is such a funny pair !!! boy ellen’s fics are always so damn amazing, I still can’t believe she wrote for me ;^;

#fran answers #inbox will stay closed still for a while #sorry! ;;;;#anonymous

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sambart93 · 5 years

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2018.09.15 KAT-TUN CAST in Yokohama Arena [Report]

SET LIST

01. New Genesis 02. FIRE STORM 03. ONE DROP 04. UNLOCK 05. 喜びの歌 06. 願い 07. READY FOR THIS! 08. DIRTY, SEXY, NIGHT 09. Ask Yourself 10. Don’t wait 11. Sweet Birthday 12. GREATEST JOURNEY MC Segment 13. vivid LOVE 14. UNIVERSE (宇宙Six) 15. Marionation (中丸雄一) 16. World’s End. (上田竜也) 17. One way love (亀梨和也) 18. Real Face #2 19. ツイテオイデ 20. BIRTH 21. Love yourself ～君が嫌いな君が好き～ 22. DON’T U EVER STOP 23 KISS KISS KISS 24. Will Be All Right 25. アイノオカゲ 26. 薫 27. Unstoppable

-アンコール- 28. Peacefuldays 29. ノーマター・マター 30. FUNtastic

REPORT UNDER THE CUT

Can we talk about how much I fucking LOVE these boys? I love them with ALL my heart!!!

At YokoAri there really isn’t a bad seat. But I was super happy with me! I got the first row in the stands (2nd floor) and it was amazing!! And we got the best surprise ever when we were allowed and able to stand up! Usually the first row of stands are NOT allowed to stand and must stay sat for the entire performance but not for KAT-TUN because KT were of course like ‘fuck that rule! Our fans won’t stand for that’ <<< AHAHA GET MY JOKE?! So we stood the entire time! I think it was just over 2 and a half hours which is GREAT!!

I’ll try and split up the songs and such into their sections and costume changes -- but I could be VERY wrong:

New Genesis FIRE STORM ONE DROP UNLOCK 喜びの歌

願い READY FOR THIS! DIRTY, SEXY, NIGHT Ask Yourself Don’t wait Sweet Birthday GREATEST JOURNEY

MC vivid LOVE UNIVERSE (宇宙Six)

Marionation (中丸雄一) World’s End. (上田竜也) One way love (亀梨和也)

Real Face #2 ツイテオイデ BIRTH Love yourself ～君が嫌いな君が好き～ DON’T U EVER STOP KISS KISS KISS Will Be All Right アイノオカゲ

薫 Unstoppable

-アンコール- Peacefuldays ノーマター・マター FUNtastic

The opening is great! They enter and come down from a massive hanging chandelier thing in the air! It is amazing!! An amazing opening! When I watch it the second time, I’ll keep and eye on that big hanger and try and see them slip into place just before the show starts xD

READY FOR THIS and Dirty, Sexy Night was so great! I loved this coupling of songs! The first one get everyone hyped up and I love the individual dances the boys having during the instrumental/dance part in RFT! And DSN is just a great song all around where Kame can be a little shit xD

Ueda ripped his shirt open and kept it like that after ONE DROP xD everyone went mental and he kept it undone ALL the way until after the MC when he got changed xD

I died laughing when UchuuSix were first introduced because, I had already spoiled myself for the SetList so knew which Juniors were going to be there, but my friend didn’t. So when the boys came on stage and the ‘SIX’ showed first, my friend was like ‘AH HELLA NAH! NOT SIXTONES!!!!!’ but then went to UchuuSix and she was like “OH THANK GODDD’, and I was on the floor laughing because her react was so comical. No offence to SixTones fans >.<

UchuuSix were actually very good! I really enjoyed their song! I was bopping along and it was so interesting to see who stayed standing during their solo song because then you could see who the Junior fans were and their uchiwas, whereas all the KT fans just sat down and took it as a short break xD

The MC was THE BEST! So they had their usual talk which was just ridiculous of course because Maru was like ‘so..... what did you do recently?’ and everyone commented that they hate that phrases and question but then Maru paused ‘....so what did you do recently?’ and we all died laughing. And so Kame replied ‘well I went to the beach (Ueda/Maru: and you didn’t get discovered (by fans/press)?!), it was really nice and relaxing’, but then he was like ‘I’m always the one that talks the most and I have NO IDEA what you two do on your days off! WHAT DO YOU DO?! I know you box and you draw but... WHAT DO YOU DO?!’ so Ueda replied that recently he’d been going to smaller shops and there was one specific one in Ginza (Maru and Kame: IN GINZA?!) where an old man gave him some on the house tempura and how delicious it was. Kame asked ‘why didn’t you say no to his offer?’ and Ueda responded something like ‘what am I supposed to say? ‘*in a really rude way* I don’t need it old man! (Iranee yo Jiji!)’’ and everyone was dying. Then Ueda started saying ‘y’know if this audience was all guys--’ and Kame and Maru jumped in like ‘he’s spoken about this several times during this tour!’ and Ueda said ‘but it’s true! If this was all guys, I wouldn’t work as hard as I am! Are you telling me you’d work just as hard if our audience was all guys?!’ and neither of them specifically answered but everyone understood that they agreed with Ueda who’s all like ‘the audience is so full of women and they’re all so beautiful so I must do my best!’ xD whatta idiot. Adorable but oh god he’s funny. Towards the end of the MC, Kame picked up the towel basket and as he was leaving with Ueda he said ‘when we get backstage, tell me the name of that tempura place’ xD and then Maru stayed on stage and did his DJ Maru part on the top stage!

They also talked about the TachiMi/Standing part of the audience and Ueda was saying they should make those tickets cheaper ‘they should sell for 6500 yen!’. And then Maru was telling joking ‘even though it’s the MC... STAND!’ we’re allowed to sit during the MC, except for TachiMi.

They announced during this MC (I’m not sure about previous ones) that their TV show (Tame ni Naru Tabi +) was going to be a weekly show (thanks to hyphens’ support) from October! So naturally we all got super excited!

Just after the MC (which is shorter than we’re used to, but for good reason; coming up now!), Kame and Ueda go backstage while Nakamaru goes to the top stage, and there is his beautiful DJ set. So he does his Nakamaru DJ section with making sounds with his voice, recording them and pressing them in a certain order to make a song.

At the end of this segment, Nakamaru addresses the boys and gives them a request. At this show we had:

Nakamaru: Could you two do an impersonation from the game, Metal Gear Solid? Ueda: *Comes on stage* Snake! SNAKE!!!! Nakamaru: That was the best! Then Kame came on stage and he was like ‘I don’t know any other lines from the game!’ so then they suggested he do something from ‘King of Fighters’ and Kame replied ‘King of Fighters? ........ KING OF FIGHTERS?!?!?!’ and everyone died laughing. Kame: What’s King of Fighters? Ueda: It was a one-on-one fighting game. Maru: Ahhh so nostalgic... Kame: I dunno. Maybe because we’re from different generations. Ueda: THAT’S IRRELEVANT! Everyone laughed again xD

We got our usual Nakamaru TV Shopping skit but we had Ueda’s new character Yankee-kun join in! So we had the three of them being ridiculous about the bath products xD At the end of the Nakamaru TV Shopping skit, Kame walked off screen saying ‘say chuuka.... say renga...’ and I absolutely died. Because (BACKSTORY TIME!) a long time ago when they did their first Yokohama concert as KAT-TUN in 2005, Kame asked the crowd to do a call and response of ‘Say Chuuka! Say Renga!’, but at the time KT fans had no fucking clue what he was doing (Chuuka = Chinese Food and Renga = Red Brick Warehouse which are two super famous things in Yokohama), so he got super embarrassed (he talked about the embarrassment on Cartoon KAT-TUN and another Variety show MANY years ago). I spent most of this show waiting and hoping for him to do this C&R again, so I freaked and got SO HAPPY when it appeared in this segment instead xD I felt like something on my Check List had been ticked off at that moment hehe

I love, love, love the screen visuals for Vivid Love and Marionation! They are so gorgeous! And I love the props and the dance for Marionation too! And lets talk about how epic World’s End is! So we have an opening VTR of a snake and I just guessed ‘ooh he’s gunna cut it with a sword’ and there is a slash motion across the snake who dies as he’s cut in half and then Uepi came out on stage with a sword in his hand and I freaked! I was like ‘I WAS RIGHT! I WAS RIGHT!!’. It’s such a good performance and the visuals of the ticking timer on the screen too is great! My friend said she was disappointed in the ‘One Way Love’ performance and concept and to an extent I am BUT I totally understand why he did his performance this way. We had a prerecorded VTR of him singing the song, and then in the white or black parts of that VTR, the camera that’s following Kame on stage is shown in those parts. It is visually pleasing and great concept and looks good but I, like my friend, wanted him to do something really sexy for this song or just him actually singing it -- he did sing it a little but you could tell there was no point of him having a mic during it because he was putting his all into the modern dance he did.

Kame messed up for his line for Kun and said ‘MY DREAM’ instead of ‘My Friend’, and when he realised, he stopped singing and just smiled like a child at the camera and we all squealed obviously. It was the cutest reaction!

For the encore they came around in the trolley stand things and Ueda definitely saw us! We were only a few feet away from him so makes sense xD also the woman behind us was hilarious when Kame came along xD He pretty much pushed her small son out of the way so she could get Kame’s attention instead of her son. Me and my friend were cracking up laughing.

During the final greeting from them, we started getting really loud and clapping and woo-ing when Maru was trying to speak and he was like ‘be quiet! it’s late and other’s will hear you!’, but we did it again and got even louder and he just lipsynced ‘quit it! you’re loud!’, but you could tell him and all 3 of them loved how we just got louder and louder for them! xD During Ueda’s greeting he commented that there are some children in the audience and he was like ‘please don’t copy me! (his bad language and attitude)’.

Reports came out later that Massu had gone to watch this show too! My friend who came with me is a huge NEWS fan so was super happy to know Massu went the same time she did ^_^

And that’s all! Hopefully my second report will be up pretty quickly after this one!

#kat-tun #report #kamenashi kazuya #Ueda Tatsuya #Nakamaru Yuichi #concert #concert report

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oldnatgwenaccount · 5 years

Text

See You Again

Bucky Barnes | Song Imagine

Masterlist

Description: You were Bucky’s best girl back in the 40s before you both were shipped off to war. You were Sargent Major Y/n Rogers of the 107th with Bucky as a Sagent under you. Once Steve met up with you and Bucky on the battlfield you all go on a mission and you lose both of them, and yourself not long after.

Requested: No

Note: Inspired by every Marvel crack that made me hate everything. Also you are a speedster because of experiments done by HYDRA.

It's been a long day without you, my friend And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again We've come a long way from where we began Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again When I see you again

You lost Steve and Bucky in the early 40′s. You lost yourself later that year. SHIELD rescued you from a HYDRA base in 2008. When your twin brother Steve was found, you were estatic but your heart still mourned the loss of your boyfriend, your Bucky. Steve wasnt just the closest thing you had to him but also your daily reminder. A reminder that he was gone and never coming back.

Damn, who knew all the planes we flew Good things we've been through That I'll be standing right here Talking to you about another path I Know we loved to hit the road and laugh But something told me that it wouldn't last Had to switch up look at things different see the bigger picture

The day you watched Bucky die was the hardest day of your life. You watched as your plans and dreams were crushed. The wedding you had been planning would never happen, the child you had yet to tell Bucky was on the way would never know their father, and the happily ever after you craved was gone. A few months after Bucky’s death and Steve’s disappearance, HYDRA captured you and because of the experiments held on you, you lost the baby. You barely remember your time at HYDRA, having your mind wiped so many times and being in cryo freeze so often. Once SHIELD got you out and you were reunited with Peggy, things looked up. And then Steve was back and you saw hope.

Those were the days hard work forever pays now I see you in a better place How could we not talk about family when family's all that we got? Everything I went through you were standing there by my side And now you gonna be with me for the last ride

You stand at the entrance of the Smithsonian Museum. You stare at the sign advertising the Captain America portion of the World War II exhibit. Fury called you the night before saying you’d start a tour guide job at the Smithsonian. He seemed to have left out the part about the World War II exhibit would be your sector but you guessed that's what made you ‘perfect for the job’ as Fury told you. You walk straight in and put your things away in your locker.

“Hey y/n, your first group is here, Its a groups of local elementary kids who are studying World War II so they’re all yours.” Matt says, poking his head into the break room.

“Okay.” You follow Matt out and see a group of 10-year-olds, and about 3 adults. “Hello everyone! Welcome to the Smithsonian Museum!”

“Hi!” all the kids say.

“My name is y/n and I’ll be your guide today. So lets make out way to the exhibit and then we’ll begin.” The kids follow you to the entrance of the exhibit and you stop turning to look at them. “So does anyone know anything about World War II before we begin?” Multiple kids raise their hands. “How about the young man in the blue?”

“I know Captain America was the greatest soldier before he disappeared.”

“You know, Captain America wasn’t the only person who was known as the greatest,” You tell the kid.

“Who else?” Another asks.

“Well for starters, his twin sister Sargent Major Y/n Rogers and Agent Peggy Carter, and...” You pause a little trying to calm yourself before cry at his name. “And Sargent James Barnes.”

“The kids actually read about Miss Rogers and Sargent Barnes yesterday.” One of the adults, who you assumed was a teacher, tells you.

“Oh really, you know, I was really close with Sargent Barnes.” You tell the kids.

“No you weren’t. You’re too young.”

You laugh at the kids reaction. “Well thank you for that compliment but I can tell you all don’t recognise me at all.” All of the kids give you a weird look and you laugh before turning around and walking to a specific exhibit. Once you reach the exhibit, you turn around as the kids gather around. “Sargent Major Y/n Rogers, at your service.” The kids look between the photo of you on the exhibit to you and back a few time before they get excited. You and the adults laugh.

“Sargent Major Y/n Rogers, born in Brooklyn, New York, July 4, 1918. Steve and I were the only children born to our parents, Sarah and Joseph Rogers. Joseph, our father, was apart of the 107th and died during the First World War. Our mother was a nurse and died of tuberculosis a few years before the Second World War. Steve and I spent most of our childhood on the streets of Brooklyn with James Barnes. Except for the times Steve got beat up too badly or was really sick. Then we stayed in and just gave each other company.” You say before moving over slightly.

“Sargent James Buchanan Barnes.” You freeze and stare at his exhibit. “He was uhm.... he was a great friend to Steve and I. The best if that. Bucky was always the one to save Steve from fights and just an overall caring guy. He was the first to register for the war. I followed suit and the Steve.” You suddenly see a screen change and see a video of you and Bucky sitting together, laughing and his arm around your shoulders,a couple soldiers standing round you two. Then it changes to you and Bucky dying of laughter seeing Steve in his captain America suit. Steve laughing at you childish ways. “Alright guys, lets move on.”

First you both go out your way And the vibe is feeling strong and what's Small turn to a friendship, a friendship Turn into a bond and that bond will never Be broken and the love will never get lost

You wave to the kids as they walk towards the exit. You smile as each one converses about their favorite part and how cool it was to meet you. You turn around and walk back into the exhibit. You glance around at some of the photos and videos before you spot a familiar super soldier standing in front of the Memorial stand for Bucky.

“Never expected you to know about this place.” You say standing beside him.

“I never expected you to be able to talk so much about him and not cry.” Steve tells you. “You were great with the kids.”

“Well before I was in the Army I did want to be a teacher. I guess this as close as I’ll get since my credentials are a little out of date.” You laugh.

“You two were so happy together.” Steve smiles slightly at the video of You and Bucky.

“We were all happy. Guess that kind of crashed when Buck died and we both disappeared.”

“Yea. I guess it did.”

And when brotherhood come first then the line Will never be crossed established it on our own When that line had to be drawn and that line is what We reach so remember me when I'm gone

“Steve, you really need a girlfriend.” You laugh as you and Steve climb the stairs to yours and his shared apartment.

“You’re as bad as Natasha.”

“Great minds think alike.”

“Alright well I have to go.” Your neighbor, Kate, says. “My aunt, she’s kind of an insomniac.” Everyone goes silent and awkwardly stands around. You clear your throat and elbow your brother, addressing your neighbor.

“If you want, your welcome to use our machine. Might be cheaper than the one in the basement.” You facepalm and Steve just send you a glare.

“Oh yea? What’s it cost?”

“A cup of coffee?” Steve smiles, elbowing you in return for moments ago.

“Thank you, but I already have a load downstairs and you really don’t want my scrubs in your machine. I just finished a rotation in the infectious disease ward so.”

“Well, that’s unfortunate.” You mutter.

“I’ll be sure to keep my distance.” Steve says.

“Well I hope not too far.” She starts to walk away and Steve tosses you the keys. “Oh and I think you left your stereo on.”

“Oh, yea, thank you.” Steve says, smiling and Kate finally leaves. Steve glances at you and you shake your head. Steve leads you out the window by your door and over the the window leading to the hallway of your apartment.

You and Steve slowly make your way in. You grab your gun from the closet and Steve grabs his shield. You both slowly make your way towards the stereo. As Steve rounds the corner, he notices Fury sitting in the arm chair.

“I don’t remember giving you a key.” Steve sighs, leaning on the wall. You move around him, gun at the ready until you see Fury and drop it slightly.

“You really think I’d need one?” Fury asks as he groans, struggling to sit up. “My wife kicked me out.” Steve and you give a puzzled look.

“We didn’t know you were married.” Steve says.

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me.” Fury responds.

“We know Nick, that’s the problem.” Steve turns the light on and Fury stops him, turning the light back off before typing on his phone. Ears everywhere, you and Steve read, sighing.

“I’m sorry to have to do this, but I had no place else to crash.” Fury turns his phone again and you read, Shield compromised.

“Who else knows about your wife?” You ask.

“Just my friends.” You two and me, Fury writes on his phone, showing you and Steve. Fury slowly moves towards you and your brother.

“Is that what we are?” Steve’s asks.

“That’s up to you.” Suddenly four gunshots sound and three bullets go through Fury’s back, the forth into your abdomen. You shake it off and quickly help Steve pull Fury away from the outer wall. You and Steve go to see who fired and Fury pulls you back, opening his hand to reveal a flash drive. You nod and take it, placing it in your pocket. “Don’t trust anyone.”

Suddenly there’s banging on the front door and it busts open. “Captain Rogers? Major Rogers?”

“Captain, Major, I’m agent 13 of SHIELD special services.”

“Kate?” Steve questions.

“I’m assigned to protect you,” “Kate” says as she rounds the corner.

“On who’s order?” You question.

“His.” She says, moving to check on Fury.

“Foxtrot is down, he’s unresponsive. I need EMTs.” “Kate” says into a Walkie-Talkie.

“Do we have a 20 on the shooter?”

“Tell them we’re in pursuit,” Steve says as he takes off running towards the window where you both see the shooter.

“Steve!” You shout running after him. You phase through the wall next to where he crashes through and run up the wall to the roof. You look around and see a man running away. You quickly follow him, refraining from using your speed so that way you have Steve as back up once he reaches the top. You and the shooter both jump down to another roof we’re Steve lands, busting through a window. Steve throws his shield and the shooter freezes and catches the shield with one hand. You get a good look at the shooter and notice his strickingly blue eyes. Something that you would have ignored had they not been extremely familiar. You soon shake off the feeling as the shield comes flying towards Steve. You rush towards your brother’s side. When you both look up, the shooter was gone.

You instantly start coughing and see blood come out on your hand. “Steve?” Your brother turns around to see your shirt soaked in blood and your face pale.

“Y/n!” Steve runs over and carries you to help.

How could we not talk about family when family's all that we got? Everything I went through you were standing there by my side And now you gonna be with me for the last ride

“Yes sir.”

“Agent Sitwell, my dear friend, how was lunch?” You say into the phone. “I heard the crab cakes are delicious here.”

“Who is this?”

“The h/c girl in the sunglasses at you 10 o’clock.” You glance at Sitwell. “Your other 10.” Sitwell looks to you. Sam raises his ice tea, addressing Sitwell.

“What do you want, Miss Rogers?”

“Your gonna go around the corner to your right. There’s a grey car two spaces down. We’re gonna take a little ride.”

“Why would I do that?” Surely asks and you laugh lightly, responding. “Because that tie looks really expensive and I’d hate to mess it up.” You watch Sitwell look down and see a red dot on the middle of his chest.

So let the light guide your way hold every memory

As you go and every road you take will always lead you home

After Steve nearly killed Sitwell, you, Steve, Nat, and Sam make your way to the triskelion to stop the helicarriers take off, Sitwell blabbing the whole way. But before he can share too much he is ripped from the car and tossed across the freeway. Natasha climbs into the front seat as you quickly dodge the bullets coming through the roof of the car.

Sam quickly brakes and a man flies off the roof. As he looks up you instantly recognise him but before you can say anything a black jeep rams into the back of the car. Just as the car starts to flip, the shooter on the black jeep and the steering wheel of your car now gone. Steve gabs his shield and busts out his door, dragging Sam and Nat out with him. You phase through the car, landing onto the freeway. The shooter fires a rocket and it led straight to Steve’s shield, sending him flying over the freeway barrier. “Steve!” You shout, speeding down to the street below, moving civilians out of the way. You run up to Nat and you both start running away from the men, searching for Steve and Sam.

“Get the civilians to safety, I’ll handle the ghost.” Once everyone is safe you watch Natasha drop from a gunshot and umrun to her aid. “Wheres the ghost?” You look up and see him about to shoot you when Steve runs up and knocks him away. You slow the bleeding of Natasha’s wound before running to help Steve. Once your beside your brother you both punch the ghost and he stumbles back. Steve continues to fight him and you grab his shield. “Steve!” You shout as you throw the vibranium shield to your brother. Steve continues to battle the ghost before he throws him and the ghosts mask falls off. You both stare at him until he turns around and your previous suspicions comeback, only confirmed this time.

“Bucky?” You and Steve day simultaneously.

“Who the hell is Bucky?”

It's been a long day without you, my friend

And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again

We've come a long way from where we began

Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again

Your heart shattered in two the day you found him. The man you loved, that you were meant to marry, was alive. The only problem... he didn’t even know who you were, let alone the fact of who he was.

When I see you again

-^-^-^-^-^-

This absolutely sucked but I was bored so enjoy my shitty writing with an absolutely shitty idea I thought of at 1 in the morning.

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lokibannerpool · 5 years

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Update on the Mun

so i have been lurking on here for a while, not really doing any drafts or replies. I’m not abandoning this blog and these muses, I just haven’t had the motivation lately to be active on this account. I have been active on my other blogs for the most part. you can find me on @forcedintoperfection @thevirginandthefool @worldsfastestpredator @strongestcullen @zorii-unknown and/or @brokenprincessofasgard

Now for the shitstorm that is my life right now.

If you’re basically homeless and you know it clap your hands *clap clap*

So we (by we I mean my mom, little brother and I) finally got evicted for reals like around Feburary-ish. My mom’s bright idea for temporary living was to move in with the worst person possible, her crazy ass aunt (on my grandpa’s side).

Not only was the move stressful, but living here is terrible, and most of that is because my mother’s aunt (i have disowned her so no she’s not my great aunt) is doing everything in her power to make us feel unwelcome. Before I go into details, let me point out that my brother refused to come stay here because he has never felt welcome in this house, so he’s staying with family from our grandmother’s side (still crazy, but slightly more reasonable). And although I technically still have a room there, I did not stay because they hate animals and the great aunt that lives there once told me that if she could make it up the stairs to our old apartment she’d kill my cats. Later she denied it, but yeah... that’s the kind of crazy on that side’ of the family.

I was going to take my cats and live in a hotel from paycheck to paycheck. i had done the math and i could afford 7 days from one paycheck if i literally didn’t buy anything else, and the hotel had free breakfast i didn’t have to worry about food at least if i could save some of the breakfast for lunch then probably do dinner at a family member’s house. (yeah not the best plan but for me if I’m giving up my cats to a shelter I’m giving up on life. plus hotel accepted animals and was legit cheaper than a putting them in a pet hotel which would have been 22 a night per cat... i have 5 cats and a part time job) BUT low and behold my mother pulls some strings with the aunt (only after catching me crying on eviction day because I didn’t know what to do with my babies) and suddenly I can keep the cats as long as they stay in the basement. Not ideal, but more affordable for me so I take it.

Now back to the hell house I’m trapped in.

1) It took a while to move everything in, but I think we were almost full settled in by a Friday or Saturday night. On the Monday (which was like day 3 of living there) my mother’s aunt not only called me repeatedly on my phone, she kept yelling my name from the first floor. When I finally become conscious enough to go see what she wants, she is telling me that I sleep too much, It’s ridiculous how much I sleep, I need to go get a job, I’m not going to sleep my life away in HER house, yada yada, then she goes on about how by my age she was living on her own and paying off her own car (both were confirmed to be lies by sources that were alive at that time. crazy bitch was still sleeping in the bed with her mother at 22).. Now maybe you think that’s not so bad? but I forgot to mention one little detail.

It was only 8:10 AM and I had class at 10 am.

My alarm clock was literally set to go off 20 minutes from that time. Not only was it early as fuck, but I had a class to go to so it wasn’t like i was going to be staying in the house all day. SHE KNEW I HAD CLASS, THAT WAS WHAT PISSED ME OFF THE MOST. I had literally been discussing my classes with her for weeks prior to even moving in with her. Another thing that interested me was how she conveniently waited until my mother had left to start harassing me. anyway, so i get dressed because im mad as hell by this point, and i get ready to leave in under 15 minutes so we’re around 8:30am by this point. When I get downstairs she is demanding that I come into her room, and against my better judgement I do but I’m in no mood to talk. She takes one look at my face and asks me “why are you pissed off?” As if she didn’t know why. I don’t want to curse her out because I wasn’t raised to do things like that so i keep my mouth shut. She keeps trying to get me to talk, and at this point angry tears that I have been trying so hard to hold back are falling and she tells me I’m being dramatic and I’m over reacting. I tell her I have to go to class more than once and she’s still demanding that I sit and talk with her, so I just walk out. She calls my phone more than once but I don’t answer because I am a) driving and b) still mad as hell. she leaves voicemails. 1 saying that im being overreacting and stuff. the second comes a few hours later with a fake apology after she apparently talked to my mother. I later find out that she lied to my mom and told her that she forgot I had school, yet when I was not trying to talk to her she was telling me i had 2 hours before i had to be in class.. so yeah and that was only the start of day 3 of living there.

2) Fast forward a few days because in this family, we apparently just go on like nothing happened after conflicts like this. My mom comes to me in the morning and warns me that the aunt had threatened to call the human society to take my cats away because I ‘don’t spend enough time with them’. Which pissed off my mom as much as me because she’s seen what I’ve done for these cats in the past 2 years. (especially with Brenda, who is a rescue stray I took in after she was covered in tape by strangers and either dropped at our door or she limped her way up the stairs to us for help, and the two litters of kittens she had in our apartment)

The aunt confronts me about this after I come down to feed them by asking me “do you really want the cats” and then telling me not to get an attitude when I say “of course I do” rather defensively. She tells me the b.s. she told my mom to which i point out that we literally just got here, i have classes 5 days a week and work 7 days a week. Plus, she’s usually sleep when I come in after work so she doesn’t see me dragging my aching body (still sore from doing the brunt of the moving) down to the basement to replace the food and water and spend time with them before I go to bed and I would literally be sleeping down there if it wasn’t for my mom nagging me about my health (which tbh comes second to the cats in my opinion but she disagrees). She doesn’t seem all that convinced, and my anxiety was through the roof for the longest because i wasn’t sure if i was going to come back to a cat-less basement after work.

My therapist has been having an earful btw. Literally the week before I knew we were being evicted I spent most of a session trying to find something to talk to her about and now I have at least one new problem ever week.

3) This woman has no respect for me or my mother. She’s verbally attacked my mother and berated her more than once. (today included) and at one point accused my mom of using her father for money(who died only 2 years prior, and who is the only one who took responsibility for making all the funeral arrangements and is still struggling to pay that bill because no one else wanted to help). This is sidetracking a little, but my mom did a lot for my grandfather. Brought his medical supplies with a loan she had taken out from her job, literally came to wash him up multiple times because his in house nurse wasn’t doing it, and pretty much ran every errand he asked for her and if she couldn’t do it she had me do it for her... so yeah to say she was using him was really fucked up and it really hurt my mom.

3.5) One morning (last week) i literally caught her and her ‘tenant’ (aka her brother’s ex girlfriend who he left for his wife 2 years ago and refuses to leave his family’s home) talking shit about me and my mom. How we’re dirty, my mom walks too loud, complaining about us having mini conversations late at night (which only happened once), calling my mom fat, and saying that she’s not ‘dainty’ and ‘feminine’ enough and they don’t know how she kept a man for so long... really just talking trash while im standing at the top of the stairs listening. I wait until they finish to say anything and they’re not even ashamed or apologetic. The aunt literally says “good. now you can tell your mom what i said” after i said i heard just about all of it. She seemed offended when I refused to be her messenger. She then tried to talk shit about my mom to me, going as far to tell me that my mother a ‘fat slob’. And because I don’t want to be kicked out before we find a place, I have to bite my tongue and just walk away while she purposely baits me and tells me to ‘speak my mind’.

There is so much more I could write about, like how she (a woman who has never had a cat in her life) is always telling me how to take care of my cats like I don’t know what I’m doing, yet she’s basing this all off the dog she had (but didn’t really want or take care of) over 10 years ago. Or how she likes to try to provoke me or my mom (but mostly me because I’m the easier target I guess) whenever she’s bored. The fact that she forced cable boxes on us, then demanded my mom pay her $400 for the installation of the cable despite us both making it very clear we didn’t want it. How she’s always trying to say someone is trying to use her as if my mom isn’t paying $800 a month for two little ass rooms and a bathroom/kitchen we have to share with two other people And sooo much more.

I’ve ended up self harming for the first time in about two-ish years while staying here. My suicidal thoughts are happening very often and honestly I’ve turned to drinking my feelings away when I’m not cutting them away. I’ve literally been so stressed that my period disappeared for like 3 months (no im not pregnant. gotta be sexually active to get pregnant so yes its stress) and I’m pretty sure I’m developing some sort of repressed anger issues that I should probably mention to my therapist but I keep forgetting.

So that’s pretty much what’s been going on in my life lately.

And I don’t know how to end this so... there

#ooc #mun problems #mun rant #negativity tw #suicide tw #self harm tw #alcohol tw

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ludacryst · 5 years

Text

Survey Says..

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? I'm 5'3, but I sometimes wish I was shorter because of how cute it can be in a relationship. I've watched too much anime, okay?

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) Well, @warpedbelief didn't help me figuring this out because his dragon idea was really cool. However... I'll just stick with cats. I love cats. (I also love dragons..)

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? Comfortable. Lol. I mostly wear PJs.

4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Final Fantasy series in general. 7 & 9 Specifically. My heart was always with Zelda ALTTP though.

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: Erwin, Wiggles, PoF (Power of Friendship, so my friends/family.)

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Caution : Speaks her mind far too often. No filter. Bossy af. Does not cave easily.

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? I don't know.

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] Melancholic.

9: Are you ticklish? .....No...?....(Yes)

10: Are you allergic to anything? Lots of stuff. There's a list uploaded somewhere.

11: What’s your sexuality? Heteronormative Bisexual. I used to call it straight with a twist until I figured out there was an actual term for it. Basically, I'm emotionally attracted to men and commonly see myself in a relationship with men. (My Husband, HI.) However, I have similar attractions physically to women, but have never seen myself in a relationship with one other than physically.

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? Cocoa or Tea, but I'll drink any of em.

13: Are you a cat or dog person? Cat. 1000% They're chill just like me... once they're older.

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? Elf, probably. I love nature, I hate being allergic to it though.

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? Nah, I just skim youtube from time to time, no favorite.

16: How tall are you? 5'3.

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? I'd probably keep it in the realm it's already in. So, I'm Crystal. I go by Crys (Chris) so probably Christina.. or anything that could shorten it to Chris of sorts. It's just me.

18: How much do you weigh? 175-190, depends on if I've ate fast food recently or not. More averaged at 186, but it's jumped a lot the past few months. Goal weight is 125.

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? Sure. I don't disbelieve. Had a thing when i was a kid a few times that make me think something exists.. whether or not we know what it is.

20: Do you like space or the ocean more? Space. Stars. I love water don't get me wrong, but I'm more curious about what we can't physically reach.

21: Are you religious? Nah.

22: Pet peeves? Liars, people who try to grind my gears, people saying "I'm going to do it just to spite you." I'm tired of toxicity of people.

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? Diurnal. I'm defaulted to Nocturnal, so just eat some edibles and we're in bed by 10pm! :)

24: Favorite constellation? Leo ;)

25: Favorite star? Sirius, it shines the brightest.

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? I don't like dolls. They're creepy.

27: Any phobias or fears? Irrational : Dolls, Being around people. Rational : Heights, Closed Spaces t-t

28: Do you think global warming is real? Fucking. Is this seriously a question? Of course it's real.

29: Do you believe in reincarnation? I actually like to. It gives me hope there's something after death.

30: Favorite movie? I'm not sure I have a favorite movie...

31: Do you get scared easily? Nah, but I love a good jump scare.

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? Christina - My first doggie, passed away when I was in 4th grade. She was a mini collie~ Alexi - My green/yellow parakeet. Passed away at roughly 2-3 years old. Jiggy - My gray/white beautiful DHS big boi kitty. (2006-2016) Momma - My loving calico who picked me over everyone. ;o; (2006-2018) Wiggles - Adopted from my family, he's a tyrant! He loves his dad more than me tho... [rude] (2016-???)

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] You CC please.

34: What is a color that calms you? Blue. Blue is always relaxing, especially softer/darker blues.

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? Travel wise, I want to visit a lot of places. Germany, UK, Canada... more specifically Niagara Falls.. Live wise, if I could, I'd live in Canada. However... I just want to live in the midwest, or east, somewhere more affordable in the US.

36: Where were you born? Ohio!

37: What is your eye color? Blue-gray.

38: Introvert or extrovert? 1000% introverted.

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? I think they're amusing as fuck. I don't believe/follow them 100%. I do like to imagine what it would be like if they were right though. I follow zodiac stuff way more than horoscope.

40: Hugs or kisses? xoxoxo - Preferably hugs, they're for everyone! *HUGS*

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? Scotty! ( @warpedbelief )

42: Who is someone you love deeply? @hyphenhero - My husbando.

43: Any piercings you want? I really dunno any more. The only one I've been considering lately is Daith.

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? I don't dislike tattoos and piercings.

45: Do you smoke or have you ever done so? Cigarettes are disgusting. Be more descriptive of your "smoking." I have marijuana vapes I enjoy.

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! Well, I married him.

47: What is a sound you really hate? Anything pitchy. My ears have been killing me the past year or so.

48: A sound you really love? Meow.

49: Can you do a backflip? HAHAHA No.

50: Can you do the splits? Almost did them on accident the other day. It really hurt. (No)

51: Favorite actor and/or actress? Do voice actors count? Because then I'm between two. Johnny Yong Bosch and Matt Mercer.

52: Favorite movie? Wasn't this asked already? I don't have one.

53: How are you feeling right now? Tired.

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? I really want to bleach it blonde again.

55: When did you feel happiest? Maybe when we first moved into our second apartment? The rent was cheaper, it was nice. I miss freedom. Though, I also miss having a full guild of friends and getting along and having fun together.. Man I'm getting old.

56: Something that calms you down? Marijuana primarily. Hugs. Kittens.

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] Anxiety, Depression, Memory issues xD Honestly you should just ask if there's stuff NOT wrong with me.

58: What does your URL mean? It's a nickname a friend gave me 11 years ago. Holy crap. It's been 11 years.

59: What three words describe you the most? Sassy, Bratty, Mom-ish.

60: Do you believe in evolution? Yes.

61: What makes you unfollow a blog? Too much spam/boring content. Stuff I'm not interested in. Sometimes inactivity for years.

62: What makes you follow a blog? Stuff I'm interested in typically.

63: Favorite kind of person: People I can just talk to about anything. I like to talk. I don't like to be pestered and felt bad about not responding right away. I enjoy helping people. So I'm mostly a listener. I like to talk about stuff we're mutually interested in. Sometimes I love people I can debate with but not hate after (reasonable debates.) I guess I'm going to be that guy and copy what my friend said.. "Engaging, but not too much that I’m constantly tired. I like doing nothing, but doing nothing with the right person."

64: Favorite animal(s): Cats. All the cats.

65: Name three of your favorite blogs. I don't really actively follow any specific blog in particular! :x

66: Favorite emoticon: :smirk: (use it on discord... though if you played maplestory, it's an F3 equivalent... )

67: Favorite meme: You said that tho?

68: What is your MBTI personality type? INFJ-T

69: What is your star sign? Leo

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? No dog, but you'd be damn right to guess I'd train them.

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? Any of the fluffy pjs with a thin tank top.

72: Post a selfie or two? https://ludacryst.tumblr.com/tagged/me https://ludacryst.tumblr.com/tagged/wedding

73: Do you have platform shoes? Nah. I don't have heels either.

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? My memory is absolutely shit in most situations. However, in certain and RANDOM AF situations it can be clear as day. If I want to learn/remember something? Forget about it. If I could not care less about something? You'll be damn straight I'll remember it.

75: Can you do a front flip? Lol, no.

76: Do you like birds? Yeah, cept the annoying high pitched ones T_T

77: Do you like to swim? I used to love to. I can't really be in the sun for long any more though.

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? Never been Ice Skating! Always wanted to try. I'd probably equally enjoy both.

79: Something you wish didn’t exist: Mosquitoes, Cancer, Violence. On the violence part... It's mostly guns. If we had swordsman style fights - It'd be more interesting.

80: Some thing you wish did exist: Cures to incurables. Cancer, Epilepsy, Autism, etc. (I'm an epilepsy survivor.)

81: Piercings you have? Had an eyebrow piercing, lost it the same month I got it to pink eye.

82: Something you really enjoy doing: Watching television. I miss reading. I have a hard time focusing on reading now.

83: Favorite person to talk to: I have 3! Erwin (@hyphenhero) - My husband~ and my friends Scott (@warpedbelief) and Brandon.

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? What the fuck is this and why do people use it? inb4 I replaced wordpress with it.

85: How many followers do you have? I don't really check. My Tumblr is mostly for me... and I just restarted fresh these past few months.

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? Maybe if I tried. Used to be able to run one in 6.

87: Do your socks always match? Yeah.

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? HA, Never could.

89: What are your birthstones? Peridot, Sardonyx, Spinel

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? Cat? Yes. Spoil me.

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? Tulips.

92: A store you hate? Umm.... I don't know if I avoid any stores in particular....

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? 1-2. My stomach gets pretty upset.

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? Fly. Definitely. I get lost in my own mind enough.

95: Do you like to wear camo? Situationally.

96: Winter or summer? Winter 100%. Hate the heat. Love the snow.

97: How long can you hold your breath for? I don't know. Like 30 seconds maybe?

98: Least favorite person? They who will not be named. It gives them too much attention.

99: Someone you look up to: I used to look up to my mom a lot. Now I'm more-so my own person, I just do what I can to do right by me and my hubby.

100: A store you love? Uhm.. Any cheap store... I don't really have a favorite. I guess amazon for saving me gas?

101: Favorite type of shoes Skechers.

102: Where do you live? California.

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? Nah. I love ham too much.

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? Cubic Zirconia actually. It's so undervalued but so pretty.

105: Do you drink milk? Used to. Not really much any more.

106: Do you like bugs? Sometimes. But not in the house.

107: Do you like spiders? Sure, they get rid of the bad bugs.

108: Something you get paranoid about? Being followed. Bugs crawling on me.

109: Can you draw: Used to be able to. Not any more.

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? I don't know, I usually tell people anything they ask lol.

111: A question you hate being asked? Any question I had previously already answered, and they just weren't paying attention. Anything related to me/my own working/schooling.

112: Ever been bitten by a spider? Not that I can remember.

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? Yeah, it's really relaxing.

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? Cloudy, 100%

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: I would like to cuddle Momma right now.. Why you gotta go and make a girl sad for survey thing? (My calico that passed away last year..)

116: Favorite cloud type: Cumulus, Cumulonimbus, and Nimbostratus. Yes I googled them for their names.

117: What color do you wish the sky was? I honestly love the colors the sky is/can be, especially at sunrise and sunset.

118: Do you have freckles? Yes, but you can only see them when I have a tan. So to anyone who hasn't seen me since I was 10, you'd never know I had them.

119: Favorite thing about a person: How they treat people. If they're kind to animals. Eyes. Definitely eyes.

120: Fruits or vegetables? Fruits @_@

121: Something you want to do right now: Play Zelda - BoTW on Hard - but... I'm lazy.

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? Ocean. But they look best together.

123: Sweet or sour foods? Candies or actual food? Food, sweet. Candies, sour.

124: Bright or dim lights? Dim as you can go without causing me to have seizures over tiny little things.

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? I wish. Dragons would rock my world.

126: Something you hate about Tumblr: Yahoo owning it.

127: Something you love about Tumblr: The freedom it USED to have.

128: What do you think about the least? I dunno, I think about it the least... so it won't naturally come to me.

129: What would you want written on your tombstone? Carpe Diem ....heheheh.

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? Why would I name them? Again with the attention thing.

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? My Epilepsy. It's shown me who really gives a fuck about me, but also it's taken a lot from me.

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? No, I hate my teeth.

133: Computer or TV? Computer, it offers more.

134: Do you like roller coasters? Never been on one, definitely want to try.

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? Sometimes motion sickness, never got seasick tho.

136: Are your ears lobed or attached? Attatched.

137: Do you believe in karma? I like to believe in Karma, but I really feel like people don't get their just desserts :(

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? -5

139: What nicknames do you have/have had? Crys, Crysti, Cryssi, Crysii, Ludacryst, Toxie, Punky, there's probably more but effort.

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? I am unsure.

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? Yes. More than one therapist.

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? Yes.

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? Giving.

144: What makes you angry? Lots of little things. Dumb things. Mostly the way medical/doctors are here... Our president... a lot of things really.

145: How many languages do you speak fluently? I can barely manage English, you want me to learn more?!

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? I kinda answered this earlier.

147: Are you androgynous? No.

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: My eye color.

149: Favorite thing about your personality: I'm more willing to let people go if they make my life worse. I used to be terrible at that.

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. My Mom, Scooter, Matt Mercer.. (shh)

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? ANY ERA WITH KNIGHTS AND KINGDOMS AND WEEEEEEE............ (I like a lot of oldie based shows.)

152: Do you like BuzzFeed? Eh.

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] MapleStory. Not even remotely kidding.

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? Yes. I'm a very touchy person if I trust the person. I prefer hugs on most though. Forehead is pretty sentimental to me.

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? Sometimes, yeah.

156: What embarrasses you? My teeth, my weight, a lot of things.

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: People. Crowds. Planes. Heights. New Doctors.

158: Biggest lie you have ever told: If it's the biggest lie I've ever told, do you think I'm going to out myself on social media?

159: How many people are you following? Fuck if I know... I'm too lazy to check.

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? See #159

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? See #159

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? See #159

163: Last time you cried and why: It's been over a lot of things. My health, my families health, my cat, hurting myself, etc.

164: Do you have long or short hair? Medium?

165: Longest your hair has ever been: Just below my shoulders.

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religion? Neutral mostly, because you can't prove or disprove a god exists. Just because you haven't seen something does that mean it's not there? Also, just because you believe in something, does it mean that it exists really? I'm agnostic. Though Wicca seems like a more reasonable religion in most aspects (I've dabbled in research, I hope that doesn't offend anyone.)

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? Not really. I just care if it's gonna blow up before I die.

168: Do you like to wear makeup? Like? Not usually, it just helps me feel a little better sometimes.

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? Nope.

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? As much as I could.

#survey says #survey

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big-tony · 5 years

Note

1-100 hoe

I hate you so much.

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

Spotify for sure

3. what color are your eyes?

Ugly ass brown

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less

Really obnoxious

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?

I have a black 2013 Nissan Altima

9. where do you shop?

As much as I hate them, I do most of my shopping on Amazon. I’ve started using Thrift Books when I buy books, but I also want to start going to local bookstores since some have opened up nearby.

10. how would you describe your style?

The stereotypical person who listens exclusively to music on Bandcamp but doesn’t want to commit to buying clothes at Goodwill

11. favorite social media account

Tumblr but I’m kind of warming up to Twitter

13. any siblings?

Yeah I have an older sister

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

I would say at this stage in my life I would like to live in Spain or Argentina. I’d really like to just be somewhere out of North America where I can speak Spanish all the time. I feel like it would be a nice change of pace

15. favorite snapchat filter?

I deleted snap like four months ago but I really liked the one that just hid all of your blemishes lmao

17. how many times a week do you shower?

Like 10-12 on average

18. favorite tv show?

Either Eric Andre or the Twilight Zone

19. shoe size?

16 which makes shopping for shoes impossible

20. how tall are you?

6′5″

21. sandals or sneakers?

Sneakers. I only wear sandals if I’m running somewhere for less than 30 minutes

22. do you go to the gym?

I kind of neglected that this semester but before that I was going about 5 days a week

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

$5 lmao

25. what color socks are you wearing?

White

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?

Just two I don’t like having too many

27. do you have a job? what do you do?

Not rn I just finished up working as a research assistant and I’ll be applying for that position again this summer

28. how many friends do you have?

idk if I had to guess somewhere around 30 but I see about 10 of them weekly the rest kind of rotate in and out

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done?

This girl was going to sit down when I was in high school and I thought it would be funny to pull the chair out from under her. It was not particularly funny and it still haunts me because it was so unnecessarily mean

30. whats your favorite candle scent?

Fuck I don’t know what it’s called but when I’m home for the holidays my parents always burn this one candle that just reminds me of Christmas. Very cinnamon-y but also smells like pine needles

31. 3 favorite boy names

James, Antonio, David

32. 3 favorite girl names

Autumn, McKenzie, Maria

33. favorite actor?

I don’t think I watch enough movies to have a strong opinion on this one

34. favorite actress?

Same

35. who is your celebrity crush?

Shakira for sure

36. favorite movie?

I watch so few movies that my favorite movie is basically the last good movie I watched so I’d say Madeinusa. If we’re going for movies that are so bad that they’re awesome I’d say Bloodsport

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

Yeah I love reading! I’d say it’s tied between The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway and 100 Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

38. money or brains?

Brains for sure

39. do you have a nickname? what is it?

People used to call me Chief Keef all the time but I don’t have one anymore

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?

I think like when I was born was the only time lol

41. top 10 favorite songs

In no particular order:

Smashing Pumpkins - 1979

Sun Kil Moon - Pancho Villa

Algernon Cadwallader - Fun

American Football - Stay Home

Shakira - Se Quiere, Se Mata

Sun Kil Moon - Micheline

Sufjan Stevens - Impossible Soul

The Microphones - The Glow, Pt. 2

Frank Dominguez & Elena Burke - Imágenes

Sufjan Stevens - Romulus

42. do you take any medications daily?

Nah

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

I’d say pretty oily I have to shower the moment I wake up because my hair looks like a mess from the oil

44. what is your biggest fear?

Heights

45. how many kids do you want?

If I decide I want kids, probably just one

46. whats your go to hair style?

I like to keep it pretty short and put some gel in it it’s pretty basic

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

I live in an apartment right now but my parents’ house is kind of small compared to all my friends’ growing up.

48. who is your role model?

I try not to have a role model per se because every time I learn about famous people they disappoint me in one way or another. I had a lot of respect for Anthony Bourdain though

49. what was the last compliment you received?

My friend told me yesterday that I’ve made a lot of positive changes in my life this past month, which meant a lot to me

50. what was the last text you sent?

“Dead af” which is pretty par for the course

51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

I think I was 9 when I decided he didn’t exist. No one really confirmed or denied it until I was like 12

52. what is your dream car?

I used to say corvette but I can’t fit in one lol

53. opinion on smoking?

I can’t really get on a high horse about it because I smoke when I’m very drunk but I don’t enjoy the really strong smell of a smoker’s house

54. do you go to college?

Yeah! I’m studying history and Spanish and I should be graduating spring 2020

55. what is your dream job?

I want to be a professor and hopefully teach Latin American history

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

Since my indie folk days are behind me, suburbs for sure

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

No my hair seems to hate those so I have to bring my own shampoo when I go places

58. do you have freckles?

nah

59. do you smile for pictures?

Yeah I like my smile a lot so

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?

1629 according to my camera roll

61. have you ever peed in the woods?

Oh yeah absolutely

62. do you still watch cartoons?

I keep up with Steven Universe by force of habit but otherwise no

63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

McDonald’s. Wendy’s chicken nuggets are whack

64. Favorite dipping sauce?

Chick-Fil-A sauce

65. what do you wear to bed?

Basketball shorts

66. have you ever won a spelling bee?

I won this in-class one and they asked me to go to the school-wide one but I didn’t go

67. what are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, and learning languages mostly. I’d like to get more social hobbies at some point like get into playing pool but I haven’t gotten around to it

68. can you draw?

Oh hell no. I tried super hard up until like 7th grade and then I accepted fate

69. do you play an instrument?

I am trying to learn the banjo but I need to get more consistent

70. what was the last concert you saw?

I saw Fleet Foxes in March, which was an amazing show. I missed American Football in August which I’m still really upset about

71. tea or coffee?

Coffee, though I’d like to learn more about tea

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

Dunkin Donuts just because it’s cheaper

73. do you want to get married?

Yeah I have a crippling fear of ending up alone lmao

74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?

I don’t really have a crush but the girl I’m seeing’s initials are BS which is interesting to say the least

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?

No but I probably should because my last name is bland af

76. what color looks best on you?

I think I look good in a deep purple

77. do you miss anyone right now?

Unfortunately yes but I’m getting over it slowly

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?

Closed. I have this irrational fear that I will wake up and someone is watching me, but in all reality an unlocked door won’t stop them if that’s what it is going to come to

79. do you believe in ghosts?

Nah

80. what is your biggest pet peeve?

People who read, watch, or hear something slightly out of the ordinary and go “WOW I WONDER HOW MANY DRUGS THEY MUST HAVE BEEN ON TO COME UP WITH THAT”

81. last person you called`

My parents like two hours ago

82. favorite ice cream flavor?

Cookies and cream

83. regular oreos or golden oreos?

Regular, I didn’t know people liked the golden ones

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

Rainbow

85. what shirt are you wearing?

A UCF football shirt! Go Knights

86. what is your phone background?

Salamovka at Night (Judy’s Window Lit) by Lois Dodd

87. are you outgoing or shy?

Very outgoing lol

88. do you like it when people play with your hair?

Ugh I love it so much

89. do you like your neighbors?

Never talked to em but they’re quiet so I can’t complain

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

Yeah before bed and after my shower

91. have you ever been high?

Many times

92. have you ever been drunk?

Many times

93. last thing you ate?

I got a chicken tender sub at Publix!

94. favorite lyrics right now

Don’t leave home, again

If empathy takes energy

‘Cause everyone feels just like you

But that’s life, it’s so social

95. summer or winter?

Winter because I like when it’s a bit chillier, even though Florida does not get very cold. It’s been in the 40s and 50s this week which has been incredible and I wish we had more days like that.

96. day or night?

I like the night during summer and the day during winter.

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate?

Milk chocolate

98. favorite month?

October

99. what is your zodiac sign

Libra

100. who was the last person you cried in front of?

My ex-girlfriend about three years ago.

I still hate you for this.

1 note · View note

seoulfulcity · 6 years

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July 12, 2018: We’re Halfway There

안녕하세요,

I am finally halfway through the summer program, and the words my friend Valentino once said during the first week is starting to become reality: "Once we reach halfway through, it's going to go by fast". Now, I'm dreading the last half of the program knowing that I will be on a plane ride back to Los Angeles in a blink of an eye.

Happy three weeks here in Seoul! It's been an eventful week so this is how it went down. This blog recaps the events from Monday to Thursday only. A lot happened on Friday which necessitated a post on its own. Happy reading!

Even though I'm already halfway through, I still have not taken the time to explore the city and visit UNESCO World Heritage Sites or even done any touristy things like visit Gyeongbokgung Palace (경복궁) or even the Namsan Tower (N서울타워). I hope that it doesn't become one of my biggest regrets during this trip, but my mindset is that the bond I have with my friends right now is not something I could experience ever again but I can always go back to Seoul as a tourist in the future.

Monday, July 9, 2018: Florence messaged me on Kakao back in July 3 if I wanted to go to Super Junior's Ryeowook's fan meet since he was being discharged from the military on July 10. Being broke as we both were, we decided to just visit the cafés that were supported by Ryeowook fans: Café Ego, Café 333, and Andy's Coffee.

We decided to visit Café 333 and Andy's Coffee since they were both located in Hongdae.

Café 333 was our first stop and the place was decked out in Ryeowook's pictures. The counter had a welcome sign for his discharge, and tables were decorated with pictures of the idol. We ordered mocha and chocolate lattes and received a Ryeowook banner and two photo cards on top of the Ryeowook sleeve that came with our lattes.

Then we headed to Andy's Coffee just down the street from Café 333 where we ordered coffee and strawberryade. The coffee place gave us Ryeowook transparent fans and another cup sleeve with our orders.

After our trip, we walked around Hongdae and found the place where they filmed a scene in Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo (Yeokdo-yojeong Kim Bokjoo/역도요정 김복주) where Joohyung (Nam Joohyuk) was feeding Kim Bok Joo (Lee Sungkyung) with barbeque from the money he "found" on the floor.

We returned to Anam-dong a few hours after we started our day and I realized I have not eaten either breakfast or lunch yet, so I treated myself to one of my favorite places, once again. Remember that bossam (보쌈) place called Ssago (싸고)? I came back there for the third time since I arrived in Seoul, and even then, I was still learning new things such as Koreans actually referring Sprite here as cider (사이다). Odd.

It rained again that day, but it was not as humid as it usually is - the rain was freezing and I was out in Hongdae in a t-shirt and shorts. So, Florence and I went to Spao and bought myself a nice breathable summer sweater that's appropariate for Seoul's humid weather.

I also found out that Singaporeans call umbrella "brolly" thanks to Joyce. I am learning so many new things from Singaporeans, especially coming from being clueless about the culture just three weeks ago - I did not even know what a Singaporean accent was!

In Korean class, I told my professor that I was going to an event hosted by ISC to watch SBS's "The Show" rehearse and perform, so I will be missing class together with two other students, Andrea and Aubrey. The South Korean series is hosted by CLC's Yeeun, NCT's Jeno, and JBJ's Longguo. I got the line up on Monday which consisted of Apink, fromis_9, UNB, Golden Child, ONF, Kim Dong Han, MYTEEN, Jessi, Yoon Mirae, among others. KCON LA recently announced the lineup for this year's event which includes both fromis_9 and Golden Child, so I'm basically saving myself from spending an extra $100 to go both concert days to see the same groups I'm seeing here in Seoul for free.

Tuesday, July 10, 2018: SBS's "The Show" begins at 6:30 PM KST, so I had the whole day for myself - as expected, I did nothing. We were supposed to meet at the SBS Prism Tower lobby at 5 PM, and it takes about 40 minutes to get from Anam Station (안압역) to Digital Media City (디지털 비디아 시티); so I left at 3:30 to gave myself some extra time just in case I get lost.

There was a long queue outside SBS Prism Tower for ONF and MYTEEN fans. I was told that these fans don't have tickets and are hoping to go in to see their favorite groups perform, while I was in the lobby researching about the groups performing because the only thing I know about everybody was that they were Korean.

Heck, I thought fromis_9 was a boy group.

I was honestly only looking forward to see Jeno and Longguo with my own eyes.

My friends start slowly arriving and one of them went to a coffeeshop nearby that had Longguo on the cup sleeve, which made me more excited for the show to start. Salli and Carolina arrived and I didn't know they were even accepted to go to the show, so I spent the rest of the time until 6:30 with Andrea (Guatemalan), Aubrey (Chinese), Salli (Puerto Rican) and Carolina (Brazilian) teaching each other different Spanish dialects, Brazilian Portuguese, and Chinese words.

We were seated at 6:17 PM and the show started on time until 8 PM. BABA performed first, then TARGET, fromis_9, elris, Kyungri, Golden Child, MYTEEN, Kim Dong Han, Migyu, Jessi, ONF, The East Light, UNB, Gugudan SEMINA, Yoon Mirae, and Apink. Apink ended up winning that night - no surprises there.

Salli, Carolina and I took the subway back to Anam-dong together where Carolina told me about the Hanyang University Cruise Party - a booze cruise with unlimited drinks for an hour and ending the night at one of Gangnam's most revered clubs - Octagon - famous for being very selective with its guests. Octagon rejects most foreigners and men who are not up to standards with its rich beautiful image. Koreans usually get in for free and foreigners pay ₩30,000. The booze cruise was only ₩30,000 if we buy it before July 11 at 10 PM as a group of more than six people. One individual ticket is ₩45,000, and the tickets get cheaper the more people in the group.

Well, we managed to get more than six people within ten minutes and we bought the tickets together thanks to Wendelyn's credit card.

The three of us were starving when we reached Anam-dong, so I introduced both Salli and Carolina to, you've guessed it, bossam (보쌈) in the same place called Ssago (싸고). As you might have known by now, I am becoming obsessed with it.

After dinner, we went ahead to the Baskin Robbins place where I told both of them about the cute worker I saw last week. We checked the place out and no luck - though we ended up getting Pus in Boots cups and milkshakes to end our night.

I could not sleep later that night and I was still awake until 3 AM just in time for Thai, Davy, and Hyunjic-oppa (현직오빠) to get ready and meet up at Chicken Bus to watch the World Cup semi-finals with France competing against Belgium. I was awake already anyway so why not, right? I met with them downstairs. Matt and Sophie joined with us in front of Frontier House before going down the stairs to Chicken Bus. Later in the night, Wendelyn and Florence met with us at the restaurant itself while the game was playing.

Thai, Davy, and Hyunjic-oppa (현직오빠) were betting for Belgium to go into the finals, while Matt and I placed our money on France. Matt and Hyunjic-oppa (현직오빠) made a bet to pay for the winner's entire alcohol consumption for that night. We watched the game Korean-style with chicken and maekju (백주), or chimaek (치백), until the game ended at 5 AM, just in time for daylight to break.

If you've watched the 2018 World Cup finals, then you know that Matt and I won the bet.

Wednesday, July 11, 2018: I slept in until 2 PM that day and had no other plans besides updating my Blackpink blog. I went to the nearby PC bang (PC방) to play around and edit my Tumblr page and my past blogs in the late afternoon. I type my blogs on my phone and the Tumblr app has very limited options on setting up my page and my posts. I did not know the culture around PC방 prior to arriving, so I had to do some research.

1. PC방 are ubiquitous in Seoul - meaning that there is a PC방 in every corner of the street, almost as many as noraebang (노래방) places. Some PC방 are membership only, so you need to sign up and make an account to use the computers. Some, such as the one I go to, would hand you a card with a number on it and you log in using that card number.

2. They're insanely cheap! The PC방 I've seen can go from ₩500-₩1,500 per hour, so sometimes whenever I have nothing to do during the day and all of my friends are in class, I hang out in a PC방 and scroll down Tumblr or watch Are You Human Too? (Neodo Inganini?/너도 인간이니?) in DramaCool since both Viki and DramaFever are not working here in South Korea.

I logged out and caught up with Matt, Florence, Sophie, and Minki-hyung (민기형) at Sulbing Korean Dessert Cafe (설빙) just next to Chicken Bus and Seorae Korean Barbeque. They ordered Green Tea Snowflakes and Mango Snowflakes, while I got the Chocolate Brownie snowflakes.

Sophie asked me what I ordered and after telling them, everybody started laughing. Minki-hyung (민기형) made a guess earlier what I would be getting and he guessed right - I was becoming too predictable.

And when I got my order, I did not realize how humongous the portion was.

I keep forgetting that I am in South Korea and not America - the portion sizes here are way bigger since most of the cafés and restaurants are catered for couples (again - couple culture dominates Seoul).

Going back to our dorms, we bumped into Valentino and Cara where we stood in front of the cheap street food restaurant everybody constantly buzzes about (Goreun Aetsal/고른 앳살) for a good hour.

Thursday, July 12, 2018: It was exam day for me, and it was my first one too. So as the good student that I am, I decided to dedicate my whole morning studying - in Donghae's Haru & One Day Café.

I planned to spend a few hours studying for my Korean exam on basic conversational sentences while sipping on Donghae's drink then head to the nearby Kondae (건대) shopping and food district to eat out.

I ordered a glass of lemon juice, took advantage of Donghae's Wi-Fi, and studied.

For ten minutes.

Then I sat there for the next hour looking at fans come and take pictures with the giant Audrey Hepburn portrait hanging on the wall. I was very distracted that day and decided to just walk around Kondae (건대) and look for something to eat.

I scoured through the whole place under the 96-degree weather and found nothing - I was craving pork or beef that I did not have to cook and was within my ₩10,000 budget, but to no avail. Most of the restaurants I've found served pretty much all chicken or meat you have to cook yourself and other menu items I was not craving.

Kondae (건대), the area surrounding Konkuk University, has plenty of Japanese restaurants, which is very lacking around Anam-dong, the area surrounding Korea University. Sometimes, I just want to take a break from Korean food and stuff myself with something different - Japanese, Mexican, Vietnamese, you name it.

I went back to Anam-dong to try out the cheap street food restaurant by the campus to see what was the hype about. The menu was all in Korean, but luckily I know enough for me to differentiate ramen (라면) from tteokbokki (떡볶이).

The prices were very cheap - regular kimbap (원조김밥) was ₩1,500, tteok-ramyeon (떡라면) was ₩3,000, and Busan fish cakes (Busan eomuk/부산어묵) was ₩2,000. Having spent some time around Myeongdong and Hongdae, I knew these prices were within range. One stick of fish cake in Myeongdong was about the same price, so I expected to be eating a plate of kimbap, a bowl of tteok-ramyeon, and a stick of eomuk.

Bad idea - I really keep forgetting that I'm not in America anymore.

The portion sizes were humongous and the three plates took up the entire space of my whole table.

It looked like I was about to film a mukbang video.

I messaged my friends who were nearby to crash at the place and help me finish my food - Florence, Matt, Lina, and Wendelyn came to rescue.

Florence and I ran out of the restaurant to catch our 4:50 Korean language classes right after the rest arrived.

We took a different route and entered the Media Hall where they had a TV situated at the hallway leading to Woodang Hall - and they were playing the K-Pop flash mob dance we filmed a week prior.

The class was starting in a few seconds and my professor wanted us to be on time for the exam since she was not extending the exam time for us if we come late.

Well, the exam was easy - it was actually a quiz. I was mentally preparing for a midterm-type exam since everybody else was studying for midterms.

I finished it in six minutes and lecture continued per usual.

After class, I invited my friends to go to Dongdaemun with me to walk around and maybe buy some clothes and souvenirs - Joyce, Valentino, Matt, Sophie, Wendelyn, and Cara joined with us and took the subway together to Dongdaemun History and Culture Park Station (동대문 역사문화공원). We walked up and past the LED Rose Garden and met up with Thai and Davy, who just came from eating live octopus at Gwangjang Market, then we headed to eat street foods by the Migliori Mall.

We took the bus from Dongdaemun back to Anam and met up with Minki-hyung (민기형) for some makgeolli, rice alcohol famous for its hangover headache, at Tosokjumak Makgeolli House (토속주막 막걸리) just under Monaco Bar. I have never had makgeolli before, but I had an understanding that makgeolli is sipped from a bowl with both hands, but I did not know that it was actually served in kettle pots! The ahjumma (아줌마) serving us placed two kettles next to me and I did not know what it was for - I asked the group if they ordered tea and Minki-hyung (민기형) laughed and told me that it was the makgeolli.

We played drinking games for the rest of the night - such as taking a sip if we say the word "you", rotating our names and responding to the name of the second person to our left, placing everything on the table with two taps, and removing the little man from everything we picked up and called him Hyunjic-oppa (현직오빠).

We left the makgeolli place at almost 2 AM and I bumped into my drunk friends from my Korean class - Darren, Peter, Angela, Cindy, and Sharon. Peter, Cindy, and Angela had too much soju for the night and we walked them back to Frontier House and Anam Global House. We spent a whole hour outside the CU Convenience Store just under the hill from CJ International and Frontier House trying to get Peter off of the streets and back to his dorm.

Darren and I managed to get him to his room and back to our dorms by 4 AM and Darren messaged me that he was treating me with a drink sometime for my help - earlier in the night, he was lightheadedly telling me how high his alcohol tolerance was and I wanted to challenge him since my tolerance is also in the higher side.

So, I'm looking forward to the night when we actually find out whose tolerance is actually higher - hopefully we find out this week.

My week 3 blog ends here, and I will be starting on my Friday blog hopefully today.

It's Monday of week 4 and I am looking forward for this weekend since this Friday is the booze cruise - I invited other people for the event, those I haven't had the time to hang out with or the people I met for a few minutes but want to get to know better.

I am dreading the end of this summer program. I have noticed that I've been taking my time absorbing every moment, looking at the faces of the friends I've made here and the buildings that have been part of my daily walks to school and realizing that I only have two more weeks to go to make the best out of this amazing chapter of my life. I really hope that one day, I will find the time to reunite with each and every one of them and relive these moments together.

It would be very easy to reunite with the Singaporeans since their country is so small and more than half of my friends are Singaporean.

This gives me the biggest incentive to visit Singapore very soon since I expect it to be one big reunion. Until then!

고마워요,

Chris 「크리스」

P.S. I will not miss the 112 steps going up the Frontier stairs and the neverending hills around this campus. Oh, my God! I will not miss it at all.

P.P.S. The couple and PDA culture here is still insane.

#abroad #international summer campus #isc #ku #study #summer #korea university #seoul #korea

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douchebagbrainwaves · 3 years

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WHAT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ABOUT TIME

Performance Between December 10 2002 and January 10 2003 I got about 1750 spams. Follow it and it will take you through everything you need to do. Well, no. They seem to like us too. When someone's working on a problem that seems too big, I always ask: is there some way to bite off some subset of the problem, then gradually expand from there? And yet when I was working on spam filters. They're not desperate for a job.1

The smarter spammers already avoid it.2 They don't want search to work. People's best friends are likely to soon. That will be a natural counterweight to monopolies.3 But this is to treat it as a tautology. 0 turned out to be partially right: web-based alternative to MS Office. This is an excellent strategy for making the poor richer without simply shifting money from the rich.4 You can afford to be candid about what you haven't figured out yet.

So look at your slides and ask of each word could I cross this out? However, all the verbs that come to mind begin with F. If you feel you're speaking too slowly, you're speaking at about the right speed.5 What next? If you're going to take over the world, what happens is that you have to become a big, independent company is the same reason market economies beat centrally planned ones.6 Nearly all wanted advice about dealing with html, but I don't think there was a change in the social conventions and perhaps the laws governing the way big companies worked. Links and images you should certainly look at, because they contain urls. When you're small, you can't link to them.

To generate such questions you need two things: to be a vehicle for experimenting with its own design.7 The kind of filters I'm optimistic about are ones that calculate probabilities based on each individual user's mail. Startups can be irresponsible and release version 1s that are light enough to evolve. As a child I read a book of stories about a famous judge in eighteenth century Japan called Ooka Tadasuke. If you actually want to compress the gap between rich and poor, you have to have a stateless algorithm. They were atoms of drawing, but arranged randomly.8 It's a fine thing to create, but there is no great demand for celebrity gossip magazines.9 Would that mean too much due diligence?10 Increase taxes, and willingness to take risks decreases in proportion. Investors mainly contribute money, which in principle is the same no matter what the source. It's like telling the truth.

The conference itself didn't seem very grassroots. Too much money seems to be correct. I discovered that when a startup needed to talk to someone, I could usually get to the right university can make or break an ambitious young South Korean. Everyone thinks Google is going to solve this problem, but it felt like it at the time—didn't sell out. Startups can be irresponsible and release version 1s that are light enough to evolve. In either case the founders lose their majority. They're talking about an economy like America's a few decades ago, dominated by a few big companies. But the evidence of the last 200 years shows that it doesn't reduce economic inequality, because it may turn out to be an advantage.11 They will get very frustrated if instead of telling them what you do, you make them sit through some kind of preamble. 03% false positives. Look at where your code is slow, because you'll guess wrong. What if one of your newly minted engineers gets ambitious and goes on to become another Bill Gates?

Does Web 2.12 And the boneheads who designed this stove even had an example of what I mean by habits of mind. Now we seem to be afraid of actual voters, in sufficient numbers. When you look at how famous startups got started, a lot of time thinking about language design, and my habit of always asking would x be useful in a programming language just got invoked. These get through because they're the one type of sales pitch you can make a fortune writing business books and consulting for large companies. Taking a shower is like a small boat in the open sea. If you don't genuinely believe that, perhaps you ought to change what your company is doing.

Notes

What if a company he really liked, but corrupt practices in finance, healthcare, and that most people emerge from the rest have mostly raised money at all. Economic History Review, 2:9 1956,185-199, reprinted in Finley, M. That's the best response is neither to bluff nor give up legal protections and rely on social ones.

Credit card debt is little different from money raised in an era of such high taxes during the Bubble.

So it is to ignore competitors. But you can tell that everything you say something to bad groups and they hope this will give you such a low grade, which are a better predictor of success. The philistines have now missed the video boat entirely.

So it's hard to grasp this than we can teach startups a lot of the randomness is concealed by the leading scholars of that, because the median VC loses money. The function goes asymptotic fairly quickly, because that's how they choose between the two elsewhere, but if you have to preserve optionality. Vii. This would add a further level of protection against abuse and accidents.

A preliminary result, that you should probably be multiple blacklists. There may be a hot deal, I would take another startup to sell or not, bleeding out invites at a Demo Day. 99 and.

Google search engines are so much better to make it easy. Obviously this is the ability of big companies, summer jobs are the most common recipe but not the primary cause. The problem is that their explicit goal at Y Combinator was a bimodal economy consisting, in 1962. There are also exempt.

Some want to measure how dependent you've become on distractions, try this thought experiment works for nationality and religion too.

When economists talk about humans being meant or designed to express algorithms, and b was popular in Germany, where many of the funds we raised was difficult, and when I said by definition if the potential users, you've started it, but conversations with other people's money. Which in turn forces Digg to respond gracefully to such changes, because they attract so much on the spot as top sponsor. You can get cheap plane tickets, but that they create rather than risk their community's disapproval. A lot of people are trying to meet people; I swapped them to get great people to do that.

That's very cheap, 1/50th of a running back doesn't translate to soccer. For a long time? You also have to factor out some knowledge.

Obviously, if we wanted to make up startup ideas is to do whatever gets you there sooner. On the verge of the tube of their due diligence for VCs. And since there are only partially driven by a central authority according to certain somewhat depressing rules many of the market. But phone companies are run like Communist states.

Surely it's better if everything just works. 0001. The second alone yields someone who's stubbornly inert. In 1998 a lot cheaper than business school, because such users are not very far along that trend yet.

Don't be evil. We often discuss revenue growth. But wide-area bandwidth increased more than half of the river among the largest of their growth from earnings. What lures founders into this sort of Gresham's Law of conversations.

Thanks to Naval Ravikant, Sam Altman, Geoff Ralston, Richard Florida, Trevor Blackwell, Sarah Harlin, and Garry Tan for smelling so good.

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