#I had Shinya's bit down first

[argumentl]

2024/01/20 aknot only Gorilla Hall Osaka - Report

I only applied for this date on this tour, so I feel super lucky to have gotten it, especially for such an iconic anniversary!

This was my first time at Gorilla Hall, but the entrance process was super organized and easy. I had quite a high ticket number, so was fairly far back when I first got inside, but I could see the stage, so wasn't too bothered. HOWEVER, there are no rails in Gorilla Hall other than the front rail! So as soon as the lights went down for the show to start, there was a big rush forward, and I pretty much found myself nicely mid crowd, only a few meters from the front, shimote of course! Happy!!

From the start there was so much fan service! Kaoru and Die standind together, Die and Toshiya standing together, Kaoru and Kyo standing together, everyone gathering around Shinya....even in the first few songs!

Die and Toshiya in particular looked...close. At one point Die stood behind Toshiya and rested his chin on Toshiya's shoulder, spoke in his ear, and after that even got down on his knees and played his guitar while looking up at Toshiya! 

Yes, I did see the other members a bit this time, haha. There was a spotlight behind Kaoru for quite some time, which would shine directly into my eyes and blind me whenever he stepped out of its beam, so I was forced at times to look elsewhere to save my eyesight 😂

Kyo was still bald, all white make up with black eyes. He looked really spooky. 

Toshiya was in his sparkly dress to start, and for the encore he wore a leopard print shirt, with the tiniest tight shorts ever. I only saw his shorts at the end when he stood up high on the truss, and I initialy thought he had lost his trousers somehow, haha (his shorts really just looked as small as underwear), but then i realised this was his actual outfit 😂 

Kaoru was in his black jacket/white shirt/waistcoat combo, looking like a total aristocrat. Blonde hair, combed back 😍 And for the encore he wore a White Zombie band tshirt! 

Kaoru was using his pink ganesa for Yurameki at the start, but changed to a few other guitars during the rest of the show. He also took off his black jacket few songs in. 

The set list was amazing, as follows:

mode of adam

yurameki

Schwein no isu

Zomboid

Eddie

Mouai ni shosu

Myaku

304 goushitsu

Tsumi to batsu

Obscure

Byou shin

Karma

Unknown...Despair...a Lost

zan

ΕΝ.

Akuro no oka

Followers

Filth

Child Prey

So many of these songs were songs that I was listening to when I first became a fan of Dir over 20yrs ago, so it was actually surreal hearing them all live together like this. Especially having just watched the newly released footage from 1999, hearing Schwein, Tsumi to batsu, Byou shin, Karma together...omg, it was overwhelming! 

And Akuro no oka! The audience was quiet for the whole song, and gave a respectful applause when it finished. It was really emotional. 

My fave part of the encore was actual during Filth! Something came over Kaoru, its almost like he became the song...he was roaming the front rows of the crowd with his eyes, but his facial expressions just exuded the MOST erotic filth! Its like he was thinking about dirty, dirty things, and it showed on his face! If I had been in the front few rows, I would be dead for sure! 

At one point I saw him pointing straight in my direction, with his head tilted and eyes half closed, but that wasn't during Filth, haha. 

I didn't catch anything this time, but I did get watered on by Kaoru, Toshiya, and Die, so Im happy! Kaoru's bottle flew straight over my head, and when I was on my way out I saw a big puddle of (real) blood on the floor where it had landed, so Im assuming there was either a struggle, or someone had slipped on the water that splashed out of it. But there was a venue staff member standing there to stop people walking through it on the way out. 

Kyo, Shinya, and Toshiya left the stage, and then Kaoru smiled and pointed at Die before leaving. The Die came over and tapped the mic, and said, 'Can I say something?' 

He gave a really emotional speech about how they have come this far due to the support they have from fans and people around them, and he acknowledged that Dir en grey will have to end one day, due to the members being only human. But until that time, they will continue to cherish playing lives and being with fans. Then he said like, 'so Im not gonna let you die before us, promise me' 

You heard it everyone, you gotta look after yourself, and keep living for Dir, and they will do the same for you!

#dir en grey #psychonnect #report #osaka

[kyotakumrau]

2023.11.06 DIR EN GREY at CLUB CITTA

The beginning of the ending as Kaoru said.

The doors opened at 18:00, the start of the show was scheduled for 19:00.

The final sound check started 18:58 so it was certain the show won't start on time xD they were 14 mins late xD

The animated intro A book titled Phalaris opens and for a brief moment we see the text on the first page. Phalaris was always renowned as extremely cruel. (googling the sentence took me to Wikipedia, they actually simply copied the Wikipedia entry about Phalaris xD) In the intro Phalaris is portrayed as a parasite, changing it's forms one by one, from a larvae to an insect to a monster to a dragon to a brass bull, changing its hosts into something evil until they infect the next victims. The parasite growing inside their bodies into something grotesque and transforming them. A set of dice next to the book. Priests and prayers mixed with torture and dying girls, women. Is Phalaris a sickness of cruelty and hatred causing people lose their humanity? The members walked on the stage as the intro footage was shown on the front screen. They played Otogi as the images continued on the screen. The screen went down as Otogi ended.

Die had his fabulous hair and a black jacket with red stains. Shinya wore white shirt with silver decorations. Toshiya had a sparkly jacket with one sleeve only, shorts and long leather boots. Kaoru's hair was silver? grey? He had some kind od painting on his face but from my place I couldn't see properly what was it, like lines over his cheeks and forehead? (apparently he cosplayed Father Pucchi from Jojo😆) Kyo came wearing a black Adidas tracksuit, he removed the jacket a bit later on, staying in a white cotton tank top. He's growing a mustache or a goatee I think? His hair was parted and sleeked back a bit, not so much hair product to make it flat.

The set list was so interesting. The energy went up with the few following songs, then Oboro shifted the mood and finished with the Inward Scream. The sound/musical part of the inward scream was new. Kyo ended it with '壊れて・broken' cried softly. And after a brief pause they continued the set with The World of Mercy. The first line of 誰が知る？本当の私 本当の心 Kyo changed 'kokoro' to '意思・ishi' (intentions).

During Rinkaku's 'Minerva' we got to shout for him as he turned with his arms stretched to the sides.

The following flow with 13, keigaku, different sense and Eddie was so good! Kyo moved around his box to get fans to let go even more and give him more😁

The main set ended with Kyo leaving quickly. Fans were clapping and shouting encore. Btw we had to wear masks for this show but singing and shouting was allowed (so hot with a mask on😂)

Encore started with Increase Blue, very nice as Kyo got us singing and dancing. But when I heard the first notes of NATIONAL MEDIA BOYS I almost cried. I hoped they will do something as a tribute and they did😢❤️ Interestingly a lot of people didn't recognize the song and thought it was a new dir's song😂

TDFF and Rubbish Heap were pure 🔥 Toshiya climbed to the back of the stage so he stood at the bottom of the back screen, showing off his looooong leather boots and shorts.

Finishing with Kamui changed the mood drastically though. The footage matching the style of the intro started on the back screen. Some images of the war they used before but the main theme was different. A girl standing inside the sinking boat, the sea being so angry. Small group of people walking through a desert. A praying jew. A bible. A cross. A closeup of the chest of Christ, a trail of blood and next to it a trail of tears. So much death.

The footage ended with the tour title on the black background.

Kyo left very quickly after the song ended (usual for him, especially at the start of the tour). But Shinya did as well? Did I miss him throwing stuff or he really didn't? Die and Toshiya walked around the stage throwing picks, all smiley. Kaoru stayed the longest having fun spraying fans with water, then throwing those bottles into the crowd. I bet he was in the celebrating mood with Hanshin Tigers winning Japan Series. Before Kaoru left he pointed at the screen in the back to show there will be some announcements, waved and left :)

First we got 19990120 and then the special January tour info. We tried briefly for the second encore but the staff insistingly kept announcing that the performance is over so we clapped one last time and it was over.

#dir en grey #Attempt at live report #TOUR23 PHALARIS FINAL -The scent of a peaceful death- #CLUB CITTA

[losrtphu]

LUNA SEA B-PASS 1996 21 Q&A [TRANS]

PART 1

link to original scan

Link to part 2

QUESTION & ANSWERS

A QUESTIONNAIRE THAT GETS YOU KNOWLEDGEABLE ABOUT THE CURRENT LUNA SEA MEMBERS IN PUBLIC AND PRIVATE, 21 QUESTIONS TO THE 5 MEMBERS

What is sports do you guys like?

RYUICHI: Surfing,boxing and tennis. I'm the type who has to play the sport themselves or they wont be satisfied.

SUGIZO: Boxing, ah but I'd like to try scuba-diving or sky diving!

INORAN: If it's just watching sports then i like them all

J: Soccer. watching the Olympics (laughs)

SHINYA: i like watching people play sports, because you can feel that person's determination and passion while watching

What is your favorite time of the day?

RYUICHI: Right before falling asleep.

SUGIZO: At night. my body gets a surge of energy, even the rough nights, the lonely quiet nights, everything starts at night.

INORAN: Dusk.

J: It has nothing to do with the time of the day, but whenever I'm in my bed i feel happy

SHINYA: Morning, when I've just woken up. It's rough, but i enjoy thinking about what to do for the day.

what's your favorite brand of alcohol/cigarettes and how much do you drink/smoke?

RYUICHI: I don't smoke. as for wine i drink white Italian wine or white German wine. for whisky i enjoy 12 year old Canadian club whiskey.

SUGIZO: for cigarettes, JPS. my recent favorite is a vodka base cocktail, or like a vodka martini.

INORAN: about 3 boxes of Kent milds. for alcohol as long as it's good Japanese sake I'm fine. how much i drink/smoke depends on the time and place (laughs)

J: 3 boxes of caster milds. for alcohol, lots of beer, vodka, wine, honestly anything (laughs)

SHINYA: i smoke Rothmans. i don't know about alcohol but i drink watered down whiskey a lot.

name a movie that moved you.

RYUICHI: I think I've been moving away from watching movies...

SUGIZO: This year i would say "STRANGE DAYS" but my all time favorite is probably the 007 series or "BLADE RUNNER". and also "GODFATHER"

INORAN: Hmm i haven't watched many recently. but i want to watch "LISBON STORY" and "HEAT".

J: I haven't watched any recently but "RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT" was really heartwarming, i liked it.

SHINYA: I haven't had time to watch movies. i have a sets of laser discs but i haven't watched a single one of them.

What's your ultimate dream woman?

RYUICHI: A girl who seems normal at first but when she talks she seems a bit stand offish, but a they still have a childish part about them.

SUGIZO: Vanessa Paradis or Sophie Marceau. oh! and Carole Bouquet, for some reason they're all french..

INORAN: I don't have an ideal and I don't really care about appearance, I just want someone who can sympathize/empathize(TN: honestly not sure if the difference matters here lol) with me

J: i think that someone who is put together/independent and is actively trying to fulfill their goal is wonderful.

SHINYA: I admire the idea of being a women. because emotionally speaking it's something i could never be, so i want to know more about them.

Do you guys have any pets, and if not what pet would u like to raise?

RYUICHI: I've started raising 2 dogs, one's a Pomeranian and the other one's a miniature sheep dog.

SUGIZO: Turtles. They're a something-something akamimi turtle (red ear slider) or something like that, they're really cute! by the way they're names are Mickey and Malorie ((TN: he named them based off the two main characters in the movie "natural born killers"))

INORAN: 2 cats. there's a lot of animals that id like to have as pets though, like a dog or a fish... oh yeah, a wolf.

J: I'd want to have a dog as a pet but having an owl as a pet also sounds nice cus they're awake at the same time i am (laughs) letting them sit on my shoulder and then going for walks (laughs)

SHINYA: i have a hamster. if i were to have a pet in the future probably a big fluffy dog, like a golden retriever.

name some items that are near the entrance of your house.

RYUICHI: The first thing you see when you walk in my house is probably the lights, but i do have a stone statue placed there as well.

SUGIZO: I have an art piece that my friend made.

INORAN: i have a lot of stuff, like pictures, framed art, lamps etc

J: I don't have a lot of decorations in my house. ah! but i do have a bass that was made the year i was born laying around.

SHINYA: Mine's filled with car goods, like the emblems of mini-cars or jaguars etc

at 9pm, yesterday, what were you doing?

RYUICHI: I was driving, on my way to go eat.

SUGIZO: starting to check the photos we'd took in the studio (this is after the shooting had ended, this interview was done in a Denny's at 7 in the morning)

INORAN: met with friends and drank

J: I think i was holding a phone?while napping

SHINYA: I was sleeping at home. i was tired after recording something for TV and got home and just finished watching downtown "GOTTSU "A" KANJI" (laughs)

#LUNA SEA #jrock #translation #visual kei #vkei #b-pass #1996 #sugizo #ryuichi #ryuichi kawamura #j #wumf #inoran #shinya #真矢 #隆一 #河村隆一 #scans

[of-worms-and-fibers]

Wrong Body

Shinya and Tsunagu get hit by a body swap quirk and Shinya HATES it Fluff, Angst with good ending, comfort, trans Shinya, ask Word count: 1100

„Shit, Edgeshot?!“

Jeanist cursed, looking for his husband on the battlefield; in one of the most annoying fights of his career. None of the villains were particularly dangerous, just a group of pranksters with annoying quirks that did nothing but pose semi-mild inconveniences. Hell, calling it a “battlefield” felt ridiculous, it was more like a circus. Some of the heroes were stuck quacking like ducks while others had been made to dance the macarena. It would have been almost funny if the group hadn’t been so active lately, bothering civilians greatly. 

“Jeanist, I’m here!” 

The other called out, and he hurried to where the voice had come from; finding Edge fully alright, albeit a little annoyed looking, among a small group of more heroes who had managed to avoid getting hit by any of the quirks so far.

Jeanist breathed deeply in relief, going to hug Edgeshot briefly; too slow as the rest of the group shouted a warning and jumped aside; a fuzzy shiver ran all over his body, and when he opened his eyes; he wasn’t sure what was wrong at first. He felt the same, didn’t dance or make strange noises. 

“Oh my god Tsunagu-“

Edgeshot exclaimed, and hearing his real name in a battle situation like this could only mean bad news.

“What is it?”

He asked, but immediately noticed what it was; his voice didn’t sound right. Now that he thought of it, his body didn’t feel right. Jeanist almost didn’t want to do it, but he slowly patted his body down, feeling his hips and chest to be far softer than they were supposed to be. In a panicked motion, he reached for his hair, relieved that at least that hadn’t changed. And so he returned his gaze to Edgeshot, who was clearly a lot less calm about it; screaming silently on the inside while uncomfortably tucking at his clothes, trying to cover up the silhouette of his body; a body Tsunagu had seen, years ago, before Shinya’s transition.

But there was nothing for now that could be done about it. Gang Orca sent them home, to see if the quirk would lift overnight and so the two could do nothing but obey his suggestion.

“Okay. We’re physically girls now. We have to stay calm. Why is my voice so annoying?!”

“Welcome to my life.”

Shinya replied bitterly, wrapping a blanket around himself. Clearly, he wasn’t happy with the situation and sensitive to everything about it. Tsunagu brought the dinner, sitting down by the other’s side: 

“You know it doesn’t change anything to me right? You’re no less of a man, even if this predicament is making you feel dysphoric again.”

He said, sitting a bit away from the other, knowing how uncomfortable he was right now. Shinya didn’t eat much at all, and it worried the blonde:

“We should still have your binders, right? I don’t think we got rid of them. I can look for

them, but you need to promise not to wear them to sleep again.”

Shinya merely nodded, and with a kiss on his forehead, Tsu disappeared into the basement. An hour passed, then two until he finally came back:

“Sorry, I got distracted by old clothes. Look at this dress I found!”

He said, showing off a pretty dress he used to wear a lot. It looked even better with his hopefully temporary, more feminine features and he felt gorgeous. Two binders were promptly dropped on Shinya’s lap:

“I sewed little ninja patches on.”

A small smile finally crept on the grey-haired one’s face, which was quickly replaced by tears and a hug; this wasn’t a new sight. But one neither of them had expected again. After hormones and surgeries and a lengthy social transition, they had thought it was over. But of course, life was cruel. It always was with the job they’d taken on, but this was beyond any of that. This wasn’t about getting hurt or dying. This was so much more personal, to both Shinya and himself.

It felt like a setback of years and years of progress and it… frankly, it hurt. Tsu knew that he wasn’t the one having any right to feel hurt, but he did, because he knew he couldn’t do anything but assure and reaffirm his husband. Husband, that’s what he’d always stay no matter what anyone could ever do or say.

“I don’t think I want to have…”

The ninja enthusiast started but Tsunagu just shook his head with a soft smile:

“I know, we don’t have to do anything tonight or until this is over. Don’t you worry about that at all. I’m sure it will be over soon.”

It wasn’t over soon. A week passed, then two, and the two of them were getting increasingly worried. Visiting Kugo a lot, and a quirk specialist who couldn’t tell them more than 

“It’s probably temporary.”

And probably wasn’t good enough. So the panic lasted for a whole month until one morning, the blonde was startled awake by a sudden scream from Shinya, who had come back early in the morning from a night shift:

“I’m normal again!”

With a quick pat down, the blonde assured himself of his own return to normalcy and breathed out in relief. He went to the bathroom, where the love of his life stood half undressed by the mirror.

“Oh thank god. I did like the hips though.”

“Your hips were the only good thing about this whole ordeal. Ugh, I thought I'd have to go through hormones and surgeries again I am not not showering for a week again!” 

Tsunagu laughed, finally able to cuddle Shinya again, after a whole month of needing to be careful about it to not make him uncomfortable:

“Haha no never again. Glad to see your smile again, I missed it.”

He said, brushing a strand of hair out of his face to cup his cheek; the gleam in his eyes was back. The confidence. The smile. The relief. It was all too wonderful to see. He was wonderful to see. Handsome and happy, how he was meant to be. 

“You’re the most beautiful man on this planet, do you know that Shinya?”

“Oh? Strange because I always thought you were.”

They laughed, deeply in love with each other. As they calmed down, only a small chuckle remained as the grey-haired man found his passion to joke again:

“Ryukyu is going to be so disappointed.”

“Oh yeah? She should be happy I’m even sharing you my little worm~”

With that, they continued getting ready for yet another day of hero work, as if nothing had happened, with a refreshed acceptance of whatever it may bring. Because at the end of the day, no matter what could happen, the most important thing was that they had each other.

#edgejeanist #edgeshot #best jeanist #shinya kamihara #tsunagu hakamada #mha #fanfiction #bestshot #best jeanist x edgeshot

[eyeless-jeff666]

Love hurts

Yandere!Best Jeanist does what needs to make Shinya his. Angst (?), kidnapping, open ending

„Best Jeanist and I are merely friends, there is really nothing more to it.”

Edgeshot spoke, into a microphone held close to him by an interviewer. He was smiling underneath his mask, Jeanist could see that by the wrinkles forming around his eyes. Friends. That word stung in his heart. It had always stung, ever since they had been teenagers. Ever since he had first fallen in love with Shinya. 

This pain, this unbelievable ache tearing on his heartstrings, broke Tsunagu down more and more with every passing day. Every time the silver-haired hero’s attention wasn’t on him. Every time anyone else spoke to or flirted with him. He had made people cease contact with him before. He still could, but with being a hero, it seemed impossible to keep everyone away from him. 

He loved him. So much that it hurt. Loved him so much that it made his stomach turn with every night he had to think about how the other always just called him his Friend. It tore him apart, like ripping open a small hole in one’s clothes, making it worse with every little tear he had to endure. 

After the interview, Tsunagu walked over to Shinya:

“Hey. Do you want to come over to my place tonight? And watch a movie?”

“Sorry, dude, Ryukyu asked me to hang out already.”

These words stirred his jealousy even more, and it made him so angry; he had gotten rid of people before. Cleverly, without anyone even suspecting it to have been cold-blooded murder. But he couldn’t do that to a hero. Not because he wasn’t willing, quite the opposite, but because he knew it would be much more suspicious. Much more investigated.

“But you promised to spend time with me today.”

He lied, squinting his eyes slightly. Shinya frowned and tilted his head; clearly unsure of what he was talking about:

“Did I?”

“Yes. You did, last week. When you already hung out with her.”

They were getting too close to each other for Tsunagu’s taste, and he was uncomfortable at the thought of something more happening between them. He wanted, needed, Shinya Kamihara to be his. He always daydreamed about holding him. Going on dates with him, and marrying him one day. And yet, the other had never once looked at Tsunagu that way. No, it had always been other people who had his attention, his heart, but all Jeanist had was being his Friend. 

“I- I don’t remember that. I’m sorry.”

“You can’t leave me hanging like that again, Shinya. You promised not to put others above our friendship.”

The word would barely go over his lips. But his heart fluttered as the shorter one sighed and nodded:

“I’m sure I said that. I will cancel my plans with her.”

He had always been so easy to gaslight. So easy to wrap around his finger. That’s why he had always assumed he wouldn’t need to take more drastic measures. 

“Alright. I will cook your favorite food, how does that sound?”

Shinya seemed a bit down about not getting to meet Ryukyu, and Tsunagu’s eye twitched unnoticeably as he realized that. 

Later, the two of them sat on the couch, watching a movie together; Shinya’s favorite, and the two of them could speak almost all the lines by now. They laughed, and the blonde’s heart fluttered at this wonderful moment; at Shinya’s laugh and the way he was enjoying his company. Tsunagu was brushing his hair, as he often did when seeing it messy after a long day, and he could get lost in the softness and smell of it for hours. 

“You have such beautiful hair, Shi.”

He spoke softly, with admiration, and love, but as always, the other took it as nothing more than a platonic compliment:

“Thanks, Tsu. I really try to keep it soft since you gave me tips on how to keep it healthy.”

“Mh, I’m pleased to hear that. You’re doing a really good job with it.”

Tsunagu replied, feeling his stomach grumble:

“How about I make dinner now?”

Shinya agreed, with a smile that drove the blonde insane and nodded. 

As they ate – onigiri with cucumber salad – the ninja hero started to feel drowsy. With a practiced, fake-confused head tilt, Jeanist looked at him:

“Shinya. What’s wrong. You don’t look so good.”

His voice was almost too soft and kind, to the extent that it creeped the younger one out. It was unsettling, to see his smile, which was less worried and more absolutely crazy; like a villain who had just succeeded with an evil plan. He slapped a hand in front of his mouth, dropping the onigiri as realization began to settle in, but it was too late. Tsunagu slowly made his way over to him, caressing his shoulders, and hair, and leaned down, speaking in a low and much too loving voice:

“You left me no choice. I didn’t want to rush this. Oh, you have no idea how much I didn’t want to rush this. But. You’re getting too close to Ryukyu. And I cannot lose you to her. How will you love me if you love her?”

He spoke, his smile spreading wider as Shinya tried but failed to use his quirk. Despite struggling, it was too late; the drug was spreading out in his bloodstream, and his head dropped, caught swiftly as Tsunagu manipulated the fibers of his scarf to keep him from crashing into the table:

“I’ll need you to sleep a bit, my love.”

With that, the world went black.

When Shinya woke up, he was tied to a bed; a big and comfortable one, and he looked around to take in any information he could about his environment; as a hero, he knew what to do in situations like this, and the first thing always had to be to take in as much about one’s surroundings as possible. A low chuckle caught his attention, as Tsunagu walked into the room:

“You’re awake!”

He exclaimed, clearly happy, but it wasn’t the Tsunagu Shinya knew; this one didn’t look at him nicely, with a small smile, and asked about his day. This one smiled like a maniac, with eyes he could only describe as hearteyes, and with an aura of possessiveness.

“Hakamada. What’s going on.”

Shinya spoke firmly, watching the other’s grin drop; clearly disliking being called by his last name. He didn’t reply, only came over to caress his cheek:

“My love.. my sweet little needle. You have no idea how much I’ve wanted you to be with me.

I’m so happy you’re with me.”

Edgeshot shuddered at these words; the way they were spoken dripping with delusion, and utter obsession, and he wasn’t sure what to reply. 

“Won’t you answer, my darling?”

“What are you talking about. You were my friend. What are you doing?”

He insisted, but the other shook his head, clearly upset:

“Do you have any idea how much pain I was in? Watching you talk to other people. Flirt with other people. Love other people? I need your love but you always gave it to others. I was tearing apart, you can’t even understand, you didn’t leave me a choice. I’ll do anything to have you with me, only me, I need you to love me.”

Not want to. Need to. Shinya thought, seeing now just how far gone the other man was. In a moment of surprise, he wanted to use his quirk again, groaning as it didn’t work; the collar around his neck prevented him from using it.

“What are you doing my fiber? You can’t leave. I just got you. Please, just agree to stay that’s all I need you to do.”

As a human, Shinya wanted to resist and put up a scene. But as a hero, he knew this wasn’t safe; he didn’t know how far the other was willing to go, he had already drugged and kidnapped him. He couldn’t risk being hurt, or worse; getting others hurt. Cooperating also reduced the risk of the denim hero using torture as a device to get Shinya to break. So he let it happen. Just for now, while he came up with a plan and to buy the other heroes some time. What made the situation more dangerous was that Tsunagu was also a hero; no matter how far into his delusion he fell, as the number 4 hero, he still knew all, if not more, of the tricks Shinya did.

“I will stay with you.”

He said, seeing the way his former friend’s face lit up; and it disgusted him. He didn’t struggle as the blonde kissed him. 

“Oh I knew you would come around for me. I’ve been daydreaming about this. About being with you, marrying you...”

He rambled on, pulling out a ring; it looked expensive and was decorated with a beautiful blue stone. Edgeshot hated what this suggested, but simply watched in silence as Tsunagu put it on his finger:

“Won’t you be my husband, Shinya?”

It creeped the smaller one out, how natural and unproblematic this whole situation must have seemed to Jeanist; the way he spoke and moved, albeit much more exaggerated, was exactly how he had always spoken and acted around Shinya. 

“I will be your husband.”

If only for his own safety, which held top priority right now. He couldn’t afford for the other to use more drastic measures. And even if he knew that Shinya was merely acting, as long as he gave the other what he wanted, it should be alright. 

“Tell me you love me.”

“I love you, Tsunagu.”

A chuckle erupted from the other as he leaned down and caught Shinya in another kiss, crawling on top of him, but doing nothing more than that; only kissed, and cupped his face, with the same care with which he had put the ring on him. The obsession in his eyes cooled down to something Shinya couldn’t quite identify. He allowed the other to caress his face and hair, mumbling variations of

“I love you so much”, “You’re all mine now..” and even “You know I had to do this right?”

What was relieving was that the other didn’t seem to want to hurt him; he didn’t seem to want more than kisses, and Shinya could get through that. As long as he didn’t give the other a reason to lose his patience again, he was comparably safe. Shinya closed his eyes, and took a deep breath to calm his still-racing heart down; he was scared, but as long as he played it safe, there wasn’t too much to worry about. Tsunagu alone wouldn’t be able to defeat multiple other heroes, realistically seen, so all Shinya needed to do was hold through and wait for help. He had done that before, and this situation only hurt so much because it was someone he had thought he could trust. Someone he had liked and appreciated as a friend. Maybe, if Tsunagu had spoken about his feelings, he could have even returned them.

“Tsu.”

He said, more softly than before:

“Could you please get off me?”

Quickly the other obliged, lying down next to him instead, with more soft touches to his face:

“Of course, darling. Fiber of my heart, I’d do anything for you. Anything to make you happy, anything I can.” 

So he’s willing to keep me ‘comfortable’. That’s good. Edgeshot thought, turning his head towards the other man; he couldn’t help but feel sorry in a way. The way he acted, it was clear how badly he had been craving having Shinya to himself. It didn’t excuse his behavior, but Shinya knew that he needed to think deeper than his own understanding; Tsunagu had expressed it as painful, so he needed to believe that, if he wanted to cooperate in a safe manner. If it was painful to the taller man to not have Shinya’s love, surely it would be beneficial to play pretend to get him into a better mood.

“If you want me happy you have to promise not to hurt anyone. Focus on me.”

“I couldn’t focus on anyone else right now, you’re with me. That’s all that matters. And I will never hurt you. It feels so good to have you here, do you know that? Don’t you feel the same?”

The lovesickness in his eyes only grew, as Shinya nodded, but that wasn’t enough. He urged the other to speak it out loud. Not with words or actions, but simply with an expectant glance. 

“Yes, it’s nice.”

It seemed like Tsunagu wasn’t eager to hurt anyone per se, and if not given a reason to, would avoid it. Still a hero, after all, just one with twisted morals and lacking limits on how far to go for love. Shinya didn’t even want to know how long he had been like that or if anything between them had ever been normal. Didn’t want to know if any of the disappearances of people he knew oh so briefly, could be led back to Tsunagu. For his own sanity, he chose to pretend that his kidnapper had never hurt anyone.

“Are you hungry my love? Thirsty?”

“Not very, no.”

“Alright. Wonderful.”

The blonde said, his voice almost a giggle, as he wrapped his arm around Edgeshot, catching him in an embrace, and resting his head on the ninja-heroes chest. Listening to his heartbeat. And the younger one let him, knowing it was all he could do to get a moment to think. His mind flashed with thoughts about how surely, the Denim Hero wouldn’t be stupid enough to untie him at any point or take off his collar. He imagined he would feed him, and wash him, and dress him however he desired. At least the threads holding him in place weren’t painful. 

He turned his head, looking at his former friend; who was sleeping peacefully with a soft smile on his lips. It was almost scary how sound asleep he was in a situation like that, but Shinya understood, in a way, that this relief of tension and pain must have made him tired. A tear ran down his face now, which he tried to wipe away on the pillow; he was scared, of course, as anyone would be, but more than that he was saddened. Saddened about how someone he considered a good friend, his best friend even, could do something like this. How his mind wasn’t normal like he had always thought it was. How they would never normally watch movies together again. Shinya didn’t doubt that he would be rescued and that Tsunagu would be put to justice. But despite all of that, it hurt to realize that all the times they spent together would be washed away now. He had liked him, he really had. Deeply, and he had cherished their friendship ever since they started talking.

With his mind running, he looked back up at the ceiling, closed his eyes, and hoped to be lulled back into some form of rest soon.

#mha #best jeanist #edgeshot #tsunagu hakamada #fanfiction #shinya kamihara #yandere best jeanist #yandere best friend #yandere #mha yandere #yandere tsunagu hakamada #edgejeanist #jeanist x edgeshot #bestshot #ask

[yridenergyridenergy]

Phalaris Vol.II - Zepp Nagoya day 1 [2023/05/12] live report

SETLIST

Hibiki

Schadenfreude

Mouai ni Shosu

Devote My Life

Utsutsu, Bouga o Kurau

Ningen wo Kaburu

13

Uroko

Eddie

GRIEF

Beautiful Dirt

Otogi

The Perfume of Sins

ENCORE

Dozing Green (acoustic)

un deux

Utafumi

T.D.F.F.

Sustain The Untruth

Well, this show was not consistent, to say the least. Ups and downs, confusion. It was my first time ever being in the front row, I paid VIP but I had never had such a great number. The show started amazingly: the crowd was alert and active, nobody pushed in the VIP section, the band received our energy very well, Kyo took off his ear monitors often and acted as if it wasn't loud enough but it totally was - it was crazy.

Hibiki was played with raw emotion and we listened solemnly and solidarily.

For Schadenfreude this time, I tried to pay more attention to the background imagery. The song starts with Die playing the acoustic guitar muted, with someone progressively turning up the volume of his instrument. The lighting is blue. The background begins showing dozens of small flies in an eerie environment, more like little shadows. As the red lighting shrouds the stage for the rest of the song, with Kyo singing more emotionally and gesturing more today, the images change to a square corridor of flesh or inner organic lining, all dark, that lead to a large room. In its centre is a throne upon which seems to sit a faceless being composed of branches. More importantly, the visuals portray humanoid beings on their knees, praying, head bowed. After Kyo gestures widely at us while singing about the murder of crows, the following mentions of a rainbow and scenery are actually pictured as fire, flames devouring everything, burning paper. I think there was a final parallel between the floating ashes and the initial flies. Throughout the song, we shouted: "Ikedomo jigoku ka" each time and Kyo encouraged us by throwing a hand up on some occasions. The song ended and we roared our appreciation.

The series Mouai ni Shosu - Devote My Life - Utsutsu, Bouga o Kurau is insane. Kyo sang perfectly in all of them, reproducing all the tones from the studio recording. He grimaced as if he wasn't satisfied with our final "nananananana naze nanda" but we did it as requested. Several times throughout those three songs, he came up in front of his crate and took off his ear monitors to hear us more, but there wasn't really a crack of a smile yet.

I think it was after two songs, when the band broke pace for the switch of instruments, Kyo threw his mic low in the air to let it fall on his crate. It didn't seem like dissatisfaction.

During a subsequent break, Kyo sat on the ledge of Shinya's platform with a foot up on it beside himself, scratching the back of his head, from what I could see. And I may be mixing up the chronology of events, maybe even the song, but I believe it was at the beginning of Ningen wo Kaburu (or some other song with white stage lighting) that Kyo finished one of the water bottles and threw it behind him high into the crowd without looking, no care in the world for who received it. But it seemed a bit early to gulp down an entire bottle of water.

Anyway, Ningen wo Kaburu seemed even more special than before, with Kyo staying at the front of his crate for most of the song and letting us sing more than just "Dare no tame ni ikiru no darou?" And so many times throughout this show, Kyo lowered his mic, standing as close to us as he could, and let us sing for a while only to blast off the lyrics at the top of his lungs unplugged with us.

But then, things kind of devolved starting with 13. He sang it intensely at first, however, starting with the "Never die" verse all the way until the end of the song, Kyo sang near his table in the back, his back turned to us… I'll attach a picture of his T-shirt, in case he wanted us to reflect on the drawing that is featured on the verso during the final lines of 13, but it started being very weird, like something had unclicked, something went wrong, or maybe even something offended him? It couldn't be that he was staring at the fire being displayed in the background, because he was not actively staring at it.

Uroko started really fine, it might be then that he threw away the bottle into the crowd, but he remained very stoic, frowning. He had us sing the first "anata shidai de", but for some reason he insisted on singing the second himself. It seemed like he wasn't happy about something.

Eddie started and it was performed great, I guess? The background white lighting along with the multicoloured lines darting randomly toward us make for quite the ambiance.

Yet again, unlike the shows up until now in this tour, he appeared to sing GRIEF with pure rage, expecting us to back up the "motherfucker" as usual, but he was totally unfazed by our clapping at the quieter part this time around. So far, he had kind of mocked it, turning it into something unhinged. Today, I essentially just remember some glaring. Anyway, there was a lot of whipping the mic cord around.

Then Beautiful Dirt arrived and it went totally to scrap…….. There were minor mic issues, I'm quite sure, but they were fixed intermitently, nothing prolonged. Tech seemed to be back on track, but Kyo up and left, I think after throwing his mic somewhere, completing deserting the stage with a determined, pissed off pace. The song wasn't nearly finished! The crowd sang the last of the lyrics and Kaoru came to the left of Kyo's crate to fill up the gap, which is rare. So the band finished the song, and then there was an interlude that I'm not sure was planned, as none of the musicians seemed to require an instrument switch. It took probably a good minute until Kyo sulked back on stage. We cheered for him even louder, if possible. No word, even the band didn't seem to be in the know about what caused Kyo to walk off stage. I noticed Takabayashi stop by Fujieda to inform him of something. Nothing was done to Kyo's mic, there was simply a change in the lyrics sheets on the ground.

Eventually, with Kyo returned, Kaoru envelopped the venue with static noise and we were plunged in red, for Otogi. Toshiya did many emotional gestures again. Kyo sang basically as usual, I think ending with a cry like he has been doing. We clapped and semi-cheered then, due to the tone of the song, but wanting to encourage Kyo to keep going and thank him for coming back.

The Perfume of Sins started and despite his skeletal mic stand being in front of Shinya's drums, Kyo growled the "Nose, Eyes, Ears" simply witn his corded mic. I just now noticed that it's in this dong that the smoke is made to come out of the Phalaris bull head's mouth inside Kyo's crate, especially during the intense beats, at the mention of: "the sound of the brain dying". Kyo stayed mainly far back, maybe putting a foot up onto his crate.

When The Perfume of Sins ended, the other members walked silently off stage but Kyo stayed standing, staring or even glaring at us (mainly the back of the crowd), for many seconds as if to make up for his previous absence. But he was also soaking in our extra cheers.

Then, it felt like forever that we chanted for the encore. At last, Shinya showed up in black jeans and the tour T-shirt, Die kept his ripped leather pants with a long uneven sleeveless shirt, Kaoru had a very ample rippled greenish-grey top and his wide black pants, Toshiya changed his top for a clean sleeveless white dress shirt and some long black necktie of sorts, while Kyo didn't change, still wearing the mascara below his eyes, the aforementioned OUTO Half Wit Life shirt, beige pants with few dark stains near the bottom and his The New Warriors black boots.

We became quiet as Die began the first notes of Dozing Green (acoustic). We stood in silence, some moving a bit to the rhythm while absorbing all the emotion.

At un deux, now Kyo came back in front of his crate, but he didn't really look near the front of the crowd anymore. He seemed fixated on the back of the crowd, left side of the stage. He made us sing a lot of un deux, sometimes with him without the mic. It was great to be in unison again, as it seemed like maybe our singing earlier in the show had been what offended him, even though it was only at the appropriate times.

In Utafumi, he did the fall-fall-fall-fall-fall-fall gesture each time and asked us to sing a bit, but it seemed to be slightly back to impersonal. I remember that the band stopped playing for two seconds to wait until Kyo reached the part where they were supposed to play.

T.D.F.F. came on but it wasn't necessarily as crazy as usual. We gave it our all but there was once more no hint of joy in Kyo, from what I remember.

Only when calling the Last Song did we finally get more cues on how Kyo felt. Unlike his Instagram post that day or his past shows in Nagoya, he didn't taunt us with: "Nyaaagoooyaaaaa" Instead, he said it normally, and mainly repeated many times: "Ikitendarou?", only raising the intensity and raspiness at the last two times, before shouting "Last Song" with his finger high above him.

Sustain the Untruth came on and he seemed to nod. He once more stood in front of his crate, stayed there for the entire song instead of moving left and right to ask all parts of the crowd to sing: "the inside mind" like in most shows. So we gave him everything we had every single time. As usual, he kind of grabs his shirt above his chest after those segments, as if in appreciation of something. No dancing or anything, Toshiya might have come up to the right side of the stage at some point, but it seemed like Kyo's decision to stay put had the other members reluctant to act as festive as they can usually be during that song.

Anyhow, quite sure this was one of the songs where Kyo sang with us, no ear monitors and no mic, for a LOT of the verses. We started cheering way before the song's real final notes were reached. Kyo stayed a really long time there, I think on top of his crate, with a kind of different expression on his face, still very serious though. Then, as we had been screaming: "Kyoooo! KYO! Kyoo!", eventually he seemed to want to mirror that toward us and, again without a mic of any sort, he started screaming: "Nagooyaaa! … Naagooyaaa!" Since the mic wasn't near his mouth, it's possible that he also said: "Nyagoya" instead. Then, he left, seeming a bit satisfied but very stoic. I thought we would get more of an explanation on social media or on kyo-online, but we have only that cryptic mess of characters thar he posted on Instagram, ending with "Nagoya" in Kanji.

Of possible significance is that I heard Kyo sniff before Dozing Green started, so that, coupled with the bottle of water and the fact that it got swiftly replaced even if there was still a second bottle with a straw on Kyo's table, could indicate what was going on.

Anyway, it was awkward after Kyo left, because clearly the other members were just hanging out in the back, waiting for him to leave without looking at the front, and the instrumental of Kamui was not played yet because they wanted to give Kyo the silence to hear whatever he wanted to hear or even maybe say something. Eventually, Shinya got up from his seat and made his way to the crate to throw a few sticks and the ending SE was finally put on. It did kind of break the mood overall though. I don't think Sustain the Untruth was even ended in the usual way, with the extra drums of a final song. Anyway, I almost caught Toshiya's towel this time but the guy next to me was taller. The members seemed really happy with us. Kaoru didn't tease too much. I could see that his makeup was a bit more elaborate, with lines having been erased from his cheeks to cut through the makeup and the corners above his eyebrows again. Toshiya was all smiles. Die likewise genuinely reacts to hearing his name cheered. He appeared full of pride and recognition that we were cheering him on so much, but in a different way than Toshiya - you know what I mean? Kaoru splashed most of the crowd with water, which the security guard did his best to avoid. Kaoru and Die carefully made their way across the stage equipment on the edge of the stage, balancing as best as they can on that narrow ledge, but their shoes came close to that security guard's bald head too.

They each left with small bows. The stage went dark and the screen showed the tour title, but it took a while for the announcement to be heard that the show had ended, asking us to leave.

By the way, this tour, Dir en grey is playing an English translation of the show rules each time. I thought it was done by the venue, but it is heard at every single show now. More inclusivity!

#live report #Phalaris #tour23 Phalaris vol II #dir en grey

[wanderingchocolateeclair]

Forest Keepers au <3

So, as the poll decided, you guys wanted to know more about the forest keepers au first! (Though it took me a tiny bit to get to it, my apologies)

I will put the lore and info under the cut :)

Here we go:

So this au is based in the times when witches were hunted and killed. And its also in a fantasy-ish world. There's a lot of magical stuff :)

Tsunagu is a healer who got found out to be a witch, chased out of his village and threatened.

He managed to disappear into the forest and build himself a life there, being protected by the forest and living in a small safe cottage.

As years pass, he takes to healing animals and taking them in. (he doesn't feel safe around humans but he's always happy around animals and the forest)

The animals that decided to stay with him/around the cottage are a hawk, a rabbit, a small black cat, more cats, and a few others.

What Tsunagu doesn't know is that he is actually the reincarnation of an ancient Forest Guardian/Deity - and that his magic, and ability to connect to the forest is a lot stronger than he realises.

He just thinks he is a basic little witch who is good with herbs and healing.

One day, he stumbles across an injured fox while out in the forest and immediately takes it back to help it.

The fox is hesitant at first but seems to calm down as soon as Tsunagu picks it up. Tsu heals the fox, and lets it stay for a few days.

Once the fox is healed, he leaves and Tsunagu goes back to his usual everyday life.

Then, about a month later, that fox shows up at his door with a little scarf full of herbs and special plants that Tsunagu had mentioned he couldn't get easily as they were in the village.

This becomes a routine, every month, the fox comes with special gifts. Until one time he doesn't.

Night falls and Tsunagu is worried, so he leaves and goes to try and find the fox. He sees some royal guards riding out of the forest on horses and gets even more concerned.

After hours, he gives up and goes home, only to find that his door was open (:o who could that be)

Worried about his animals, he rushes in with his knife in hand and is greeted by a silver-haired figure, who was dressed a lot like a hunter.

Cue panicked meeting and misunderstanding, while Tsunagu yells and throws objects in a panic. This is until the person hands him a little red bandana full of herbs and spices and gestures at a wound he had obtained.

Tsunagu, though now concerned his little fox was hunted, still tends to him and heals him.

Shinya is a forest spirit and a caretaker of other forest spirits. He disguises as a fox in front of humans, and travels from forest to forest, to visit other forest spirits and make sure they are okay.

He was tasked by the original forest guardian to stay a keeper of the forest, and knew Tsunagu was the one after he helped him.

So, cue like a few weeks passing and explanations being made and all that.

Shinya tells Tsunagu he must come with him on a journey to awaken his stronger forest magic, and so they head off on a lil journey!! And Tsunagu learns that he can heal forest spirits!!

They are joined by a certain band of other forest spirits- (miruko, hawks, aizawa, kuugo and uwabami) Tsunagu finds out that most of his animals were all special spirits all along and that is why they stayed with him.

Adventures and shenanigans ensue, and Tsunagu learns about his magic!!!

After they return home, Tsunagu and Shinya become the Forest Keepers that they used to be many years ago :)

And well- not much changes. They get to live a peaceful life, except now they look after the magical creatures more often and take trips to other forests every now and then!!

-

-some fun lil facts-

Tsunagu has so many different hats. So many. But his favourites are his lil witchy hat and his mushroom forest hat :)

His main mushroom hat actually has a tiny magical version of his forest that sits on top of it. Only the forest spirits, animals and him can see it, though.

He grows a lot of mushrooms.

There are a few other Forest Spirit Caretakers (or forest keepers), like Shinya, and they are all part of like. A small group that come together every now and then to discuss spirit and magic stuff. They are appointed in different forests around the world.

Forest Spirits come in so many different shapes and figures, some being mythical and grand, some being normal animals, and some not even being animals.

Shinya is a grey fox, and the ends of his tail and tummy have magical patterned fur that can only really be seen if you're looking for it.

(same with other spirits, they have signs that give it away)

His human form has slightly pointed ears and sharp eyes, and if he gets excited or isn't thinking, his fox ears and/or tail can pop out.

He loves mushrooms.

They have matching scarfs and Tsunagu made Shinya a special one that shrinks with his fox form.

#bnha #eclair’s art #best jeanist #edgeshot #edgejeanist #hakamada tsunagu #kamihara shinya #forest keepers au #eclair’s aus #miruko is also there :) #this is a comfort au and is one of the lighter and more happy cozy AUs #because. well. I’m sure y’all know by now how I am with lore and worldbuilding #I get a lil carried away #but this one is just a cute lil happy cozy one with *some* bits of small light angst and lore but not too much :) #hope you enjoy :)

[elizaxspears]

The Most Beautiful DEATH in the World 2.5

So, I’ve just finished watching The Most Beautiful Death in the World 2.5 and I have to say, I was very highly biased towards not liking it because I was very attatched to the original actors HOWEVER, after giving it a chance, I’ve come to realise that it’s got its own charms that I quite liked! 

The comedy was on point. Grell popping in during William’s opening speech caught me off gaurd considering I’ve heard the original one so many times and though I’m very fond of the original actors, the new ones have slowly grown on me the more I watched it. 

The song changes were also welcomed, keeping it fresh such as Ronald’s rap during The Grim Reaper Dispatch Society or Grell’s extra fantasy with Sebastian and William during R-Rated. I also felt like the harmonizing during Checkmate was much better then the original. Overall, I’d watch it again! I do have some extra thoughts on the individuals chracters below the cut, but that’s about all I have to say otherwise!

Obviously there isn’t much to say about Sebastian or Grell since it’s the same actor who plays them both in the original and 2.5 and honestly, it was a good choice. You cannot find a more quintessential Grell then Takuya Uehara. 

2.5 Abberline and Hanks were just great a comedic duo

2.5 Druitt was, something. He captured the anime Druitt too well lol Certianly wanted to shut him up a few times but in a “he played the character how he was meant to be played” type of way

Now, Teruma as William. At first, I was very much a Takuya Nagaoka stan when it came to actors portraying him just because I thought Takuya had more of the William look but Teruma has grown on me considerably and his facial movements feel very William, like the twitch of the eveybrow or flick of the eyes and tensing of the body whenever someone touched him but he also had a lot more energy then Takuya did when dancing or figthing which maybe not how William would act, but it was far more entertianing to watch. I think my own personal gripe would be his voice gets a little more rough or gravely at times but it wasn’t all the time and overall, he has a really nice voice that I think fits William well. Being my favourite character, my eyes were often on him to say the least

For Ronald, I’m still slightly biased toward Yosuke Crawford. He had the voice and look down to a T in my opinion but again, Takuya Ide grew on me as I contiued to watch. His extra interactions with Grell, Eric and even William were very welcomed and he certianly brought more energy to the character which made him very enjoyable to watch. My favourtie part from him had to be during the Opera scene where he just collapses exhausted to the ground until William calls for him and he instantly pops back to his feet with a little “oi”. It was so cute and a very Ronald thing to do. While I still prefer Yousuke, Takyua is right below him

Alan is a bit of a strange case. For the longest time, Matsumoto Shinya was my Alan. I couldn’t see anyone else playing him and for the first bit of the 2.5 musical, it remained that way but slowly, I began to like Masataka Nakagauchi’s portrayl. He was a little more stern then his original counterpart who was more soft but also a bit more extroverted if that at all makes sense. His voice suited Alan and I like how he portrayed the Thorns of Death more the the original Alan. Hearing him sing The Crevice Between Life and Death was the nail in the coffin for me, he sounded so good singing Alan’s theme. 

Lastly, Eric. Shinji Rachi is a good actor and a great singer but I just can’t see him as Eric. He’s always looked too young to me while Taisuke Saeki is THE Eric Slingby. He had the looks, the voice, the act, he just pulled off Eric so well. I found Shinji’s voice to be a little softer and lighter while Taisuke’s voice was able to be soft then strong and he pulled off the more “I don’t care but actually I care a lot” attitude Eric gives off plus I’m also a little more bias toward the original actors duet. So again, Shinji does a good job at what he set out to do but Taisuke will always be the Eric for me

And that’s it. Just my opinion’s on the whole thing but I’m glad I watched it. As I said above, I’d gladly watch it again and maybe after a second viewing my opinions will change! The 2.5 cast looked like they had a great time and were having great fun during the bowing segment! Either way, The Most Beautiful DEATH in the world contiues to be my favourite musical out of all of them and I’m glad we got Alan and Eric out of it!

#kuroshitsuji #black butler #the most beautiful death in the world #alan humphries #eric slingby #william t spears #ronald knox #grell sutcliffe

[shinvzo]

Freezing Bitterness - a night filled with unsaid words. (606 words)

characters: shinya hiragi (+ guren ichinose)

genre: angst

other: both are 24 / set somewhere during vampire reign

tw: unrequited love, panic attacks

unforgiving. a black, empty sky up ahead, as the light had long but abandoned this world. forgotten and left to rot, todays night was as pitch black as the space within his dull heart. he felt no life course through his veins as he stood, leaned against a cold metal railing and staring off into the distance. the frost bit into his skin, it pierced right through his uniform, yet he wouldn’t move. it didn’t even make him shiver.

from afar, he could still decipher the silhouettes of the monsters that now roamed earths surface amongst them. here to cleanse humanities sins, to wash the world clean of their presence and heal the gaping wounds they had left. but even that, their dutiful task, mankind’s massive ego and self-preservation won’t ever allow. how pitiful, the life they all were forced to live now.

"it’s darn cold. why are you even up here?“, a voice angrily scolded and disturbed the stillness he had fallen into. he sighed and turned his head slightly, throwing one of his priced smiles at the person now approaching him. "just enjoying the peacefulness before yet another cursed day begins", he answered truthfully. he wondered why. maybe he just wasn’t in the mood to try and think of a better excuse. or maybe, he just couldn’t bring himself to care right now.

he watched as the black haired male silently stood beside him, eyeing him as well, but not bothering to say anything else. why would he expect him to? he knew the guy standing next to him - guren wouldn’t care to ask. he never did. at least he hasn’t in a long time. instead, he looked away, rather staring at the endless emptiness stretching out before them than the man standing right there at his side. shinya felt a small, painful tug at the very back of his heart, yet he held onto his thin smile and ignored it, now also averting his gaze. "tomorrow’s gonna be a pain in the ass. the mission your jerk of a brother sent us on will require all of us to be in top condition. you should rest up."

"i guess i should", he admitted, but didn’t make an attempt to move nor to walk away. he felt lost. he felt like his whole body was on ice, the numbness of the night slowly seeping into his bones and freezing him to this very spot. maybe it was a sign. or maybe the time had finally come; the time where the little remaining will to live had finally left him. would he fall apart or had he already done so years ago? he had no answer.

"yeah, you should", the man he so achingly yearned for said. shinya felt his smile falter as he risked another glance at him. the gaze wasn’t returned. still, the emptiness of the night was all guren admired.

emptiness.

he felt himself growing weaker, yet he couldn’t bring himself to care anymore. even when his knees suddenly gave way and he slid down the railing, merely grasping onto it with his hands and his head pressing loosely against the metal, feeling it brush against his hair, he wouldn’t care. even when beginning to shake like a leaf, when breathing became the most difficult it has ever been, he wouldn’t care. and even when guren rushed to his side, clasping down on his arm and screaming in unfiltered worry, he..

"shinya! hey, are you okay? what happened?!"

"it’s all good", he laughed through gritted teeth, feeling the world spin and at the same time, taunt him for his foolishness. "i’m fine."

The End.

A/N: decided to write a lil‘ story that suddenly came to me. it’s my first time writing an english one, so please bear with me and excuse any spelling errors. if you found any mistakes, please let me know! :)

#owari no seraph #gureshin #shinya hiragi #shinya hiiragi #guren ichinose #ONS #idk man its just self indulgent angst #my story #angst #seraph of the end #literally fml #unrequited romance

[bisexual-queenie]

Hey y’all it’s me ya boi, back at it again with some Edgejeanist scenarios (all fluff because I cannot handle angst at the moment for obvious reasons 😭), just because I’ve been thinking of them so much.

- Anytime there’s a regular party or a specific party for heroes, Shinya will always drag Tsunagu onto the dance floor. Tsunagu isn’t much of a dancer, but seeing Shinya just let loose and have fun is enough to dance with the one he loves so dearly. It doesn’t matter what kind of song it is, they will dance together.

- Before they started dating, Tsunagu would spend nights thinking of ways to do nice things for Shinya. The first time he tried it however ended kinda badly. He had bought flowers for Shinya and planned to bring them to the agency he was working for at the time. When he eventually made is way to Shinya’s office, he saw that he was on his lunch break. “Perfect opportunity” he thought. So, walking up to Shinya he was like “Hey, you did really good on that last mission, I decided to buy you some flowers as appreciation”. Once he gave Shinya the flowers, he noticed his suprised look on his face. Unfortunately, what Tsunagu didn’t expect was Shinya sneezing uncontrollably, eyes red and irritated. “Oh my god you’re allergic to flowers aren’t you? Oh god im so sorry” Tsunagu said, panicking. He volunteered to help Shinya get better. After that incident, he was way more cautious, buying Shinya his favorite chocolate, taking him on dates, and eventually asking Shinya to be his boyfriend. Shinya returns the favors by giving him little gifts, like origami flowers and cranes. Tsunagu has an entire box dedicated to them.

- my absolute favorite trope is the “one partner is not ticklish whatsoever, while the other is the most ticklish person on the planet” trope, so get this: Tsunagu getting pleasure from seeing Shinya double over in a fit of giggles and full on laughter anytime he swipes his nails across his skin (Shinya absolutely hates it when he gets tickled tho).

- These two absolutely would not give a damn about gender, ESPECIALLY when it comes to clothes. Tsunagu and Shinya are the definition of “genderfluid and non binary solidary”. While Tsunagu prefers longer articles of clothing like say long skirts and blouses and long pants, Shinya is more of a crop top and short skirt with tights underneath/shorts kind of person. Of course, they do switch styles very often.

- When it came to the proposal, it was Tsunagu was the one who ended up poping the question. It was a rare day when the Top 5 had a day off, so they decided to go on a fun little trip to a nice area of Japan, one where theres a lot of shops and restaurants and stuff. Anyways, Tsunagu ended up leading him and Shinya away for a little bit, where he promptly got down on one knee and proposed. There was a lot of crying (mostly from Tsunagu but thats not something he’s willing to admit).

(I cant have MHA scenarios of my OTPs without a wedding scene so here yall go :D)

The wedding was a mixture of two styles. Tsunagu wanted a more western style wedding, while Shinya wanted a more Japanese style one, so they combined the two ideas. They decided on a fall wedding, and it was gonna be outdoors. Tsunagu wore a normal wedding suit, while Shinya wore a more traditional Japanese wedding attire, but they decided to add a veil as a special treat. Every pro hero was invited, and even Class 1A were too (Kaminari, Sero, and Bakugou were NOT gonna miss their mentors getting married absolutely not). It was the best moment of both Tsunagu’s and Shinya’s lives if you were to ask them.

- Shinya has an amazing singing voice. Like, if you were going to have a singing competition or go to karaoke, Shinya absolutely steals the show. Tsunagu is enamored every time Shinya sings. (And for extra fun, Shinya likes to duet Present Mic a lot, either as a simple duet or if it like, a sing off).

And thats it for now! I definitely will make a part two, I just don’t know when :)

#bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #kamihara shinya #shinya kamihara #edgeshot #hakamada tsunagu #tsunagu hakamata #best jeanist #edgejeanist #love these two so much ughhhhh

[petravoncult]

Favorite 2022 First-Watches 🎬

this year, i've only managed to watch 173 films according to my letterboxd logs - that's already including rewatches. 2022 certainly fucked me in many ways i couldn't even imagine at the first place, which is part of the reason why i couldn't spare more time to watch more. 🥲

regardless, it's suffice to say that i've managed to broaden my horizon for a bit, discovering and finding unique films from many corners of the world, unrestrained by release dates or its mood and nature - highbrow, classy, unhinged, you name it; some of them eventually latched onto my mind and soul ❤

now i wouldn't be ranking these films in a particular order, but i will start with the ones that completely won me over and went straight into my all-time favorites!

these are the films i'd probably rate a perfect 10 if i had used the traditional metric score, but i don't review movies that way anymore 👇

Mikey and Nicky (1976), dir. Elaine May 🇺🇸

John Cassavetes and Peter Falk were best friends in real life - and simultaneously two of the best actors of their generation, so there's no doubt they were enthralling to watch in here. indeed, the film's power lies on their dynamite improvisational chops that chronicled the breakdown of their relationship over a night, fights and conversations filled up with intense emotions coupled together with May's minimal direction helped this film shined through and through. i'm definitely a sucker for character-driven movies, so hurrah 🙌

Love Letter (1995) dir. Shunji Iwai 🇯🇵

coincidences and memories of a deceased one can lead you to unexpected findings you took for granted at first, changing how you view that particular person in a different light. perhaps the 'contrived coincidence' trope has been done to death in every type of media imaginable - but due to the naturally-progressing plot that always keeps you interested and Shunji Iwai's directing, it feels very much fresh, not generic, and hits all the beats it's supposed to! Love Letter is blissful and warm, yet it's also a terribly sad tale about a love story that's almost meant to be. 💔

The Devils (1971) dir. Ken Russell 🇬🇧

god, if it isn't an over-indulgent picture (in a good way). to be more exact, it's about overzealous hypocrites indulging themselves in shameless immorality, shielding behind the tenets of Christianity to justify their actions. and they all went down in glorious flames, as depicted mercilessly by Ken Russell with the incredibly eye-catching set designs by Derek Jarman. while it's set in the Middle Ages when those deemed dark witches were guaranteed death sentences, I still think it functions effectively as a critique of the current state of 'religious' conservatives who are so blinded with hate for anyone but themselves. it's a lot of fun to watch, too, even if it does seem too cartoonish at times. (Oliver Reed, sexy and marvelous 💪)

A Snake of June (2002) dir. Shinya Tsukamoto 🇯🇵

Shinya Tsukamoto's films are basically when you combine Lynch's affinity for industrial-themed surrealness and Cronenberg's exploration of the human body transformation, only for their presentation and energy to be cranked up to 11. out of many Tsukamotos i've watched this year, A Snake of June fascinated me the most. i think this is when Tsukamoto's themes and trademarks really worked for me, because they synergize so much this time around; it's relentless in its exploration of self-destructive eroticism, creating a haunting yet sexually-charged atmosphere. it also left quite a lot to be analyzed due to its ambiguous nature (especially toward the end). endlessly rewatchable 👍

On the Silver Globe (1988) dir. Andrzej Zulawski 🇵🇱

a bit unfair to include this since it technically is an unfinished film, but this certainly was one of the most intense movies i've seen in a long time. the bleakness of the material is the foundation of the cinematic earthquake that would've been had it been completed, added with colorful costumes and dystopic set designs that contributes to the mystiqueness of the picture. the most prominent aspect, of course, is Zulawski's direction - while it may seem exhausting and annoying for some, in my honest opinion it certainly worked the way it's heading for. if i had to remake an existing film, it would be this one.

other films that i adore during my first watch this year include:

Blue (2002) dir. Hiroshi Ando 🇯🇵

Dogra Magra (1987) dir. Toshio Matsumoto 🇯🇵

Ashik Kerib (1988) dir. Sergei Parajanov 🇬🇪

The Wolf House (2018) dir. Joaquin Cociña & Cristóbal León 🇨🇱

Four Nights of a Dreamer (1971) dir. Robert Bresson 🇫🇷

there are so many other movies i like & love which unfortunately couldn't make it to my mentions on this post. movies are abundant and it's impossible to watch every single one of them in a lifetime, but finding those that resonate with you is a very personal and treasuring experience!

thank you 2022, here's hoping to watching more next year 🥂

#movies #cinema

[battydora]

💌

1. How did she meet edgejeanist?

2. Is she Alive after s6?

if I'm honest, I'm not sure! I have a few things in mind but I'm waiting to make the final choice just in case I think of something more interesting.

⤷ the first idea was that Shimori meets Shinya in kindergartden, they become friends because Shimori thought Shinya's quirk was absolutely insane (in her 5 y/o words) and Kamihara was a very silent child that quite appreciated Kizatachi's interest and compliments (basically the extrovert x introvert dynamic). Shimori often encouraged him to talk to her about his interests, finding out he had a thing for ninjas.

they separate in middle school to go to different schools and they lose touch for years, but reencounter once again at UA's doors when they're about to take the entrance exam. They cherish that they end up in the same class and as the academic year goes on, they meet a Second Year of the Hero Course: Tsunagu Hakamada. These two spied on the second year/s more than once because they wanted to see and learn more about this Hakamada guy that always hid his face and that was also one of the best of his class, thinking they could learn something from him to become heroes. The moment they gained the courage to speak to him, it was the moment they would never leave Tsunagu's side like two annoying kids. I love to think Shinya and Shimori were the "dumb energy" duo of the group while Tsunagu the one having to deal with them. Hakamada can't seem to help it and ends up warming up to this duo and they start hanging out together as friends.

⤷ another idea I had is that she just met them when she was climbing through the rankings, maybe when she ranked as the no. 8 hero, she met Tsunagu for the first time, at the Hero Billboard Chart JP event when he was ranking beneath her as no. 9. Shimori found Tsunagu's hero suit a bit hilarious but still decided to compliment it "You have taste" she said, the fiber hero glanced at her sideways, up and down "Thank you. You too". That's probably the first time they exchanged words, since they've never really seen eachother before if it wasn't via News and TV. This happened when Shimori was 29 and Tsunagu 31. Probably they stop by and talk with eachother a bit after the event is over, exchanging ideals and opinions, getting along quickly and maybe grabbing a coffee afterwards. And as for Shinya, I still have to think about it, maybe they did meet eachother while doing hero work at a same area/case or something like that.

2. and yes! luckily she is alive after s6 and I'm not planning on unalive her anytime soon so she'll be fine! :)

➥ either way battydora will make sure I interact with one or both of them, don't worry. also stay tuned for my backstory, it'll be coming soon!

(a/n: i made her say that >:)

#hey rika!! :D #i'm still unsure about inkjeanistshot's (squad name?) backstory #the first one is so cool and cliche and i love it a lot but the second one is seducing me. it has a lot of potenial AAAAHHH #i can't choose!! 😫 #(the second one leaves space for a more romantic development between the characters while the first one not that much) #idk in the end it all depends on the course i want the story to take #what do you think? :D #/lh #thanks for asking! ✨🍀 #❝🎭🖌️–ink hero.❞ ✧༄ #rika! ✩

[windfighter]

Home is where the heart is

”I miss home”, Tomoki said.

Everyone stopped eating and looked at him. Izumi let out a sigh.

”I wonder if they’ve noticed that we’re missing.”

”Think the police is looking for us?” Takuya asked with a grin.

Junpei looked at the apple he had been eating, but didn’t say anything. Kouji glanced at him.

”Mom’s probably even sadder with both of us gone”, Kouichi said.

He leaned back and looked at the sky.

”I miss her…”

”What’s she like?” Izumi asked.

”She’s very kind, doesn’t want to worry anyone. Constantly worries me though”, Kouichi laughed. ”She’s… sad. I think she misses…”

Kouichi glanced at Kouji. Kouji looked away.

”I miss papa’s food”, Izumi said. ”Meat apples are okay, but he makes a delicious gateau.”

”I miss my games”, Tomoki said. ”And mom and dad.”

”I have some great games”, Takuya said. ”They’ve probably given them to Shinya now. You should come over and play some when we get home.”

”What if we never come home though?” Tomoki whispered and pulled his knees to his chest.

No one answered. Junpei got to his feet and walked away from the fire while Kouji laid down and closed his eyes. The wind danced around them and they started eating again.

”We’ll have a party when we get home”, Takuya decided. ”I missed Shinya’s cake so we’ll have our own.”

”I like that idea”, Izumi agreed. ”We’ll celebrate saving the digital world and seeing our families again.”

Kouichi looked at his shoes.

”...that sounds fun”, he said quietly.

”You’re invited too, of course”, Takuya said and Kouichi looked even more intensly at his shoes. Kouji opened an eye to look at him.

”You okay, niisan?”

”Yeah, I’m just… thinking about mom?”

”Hm.”

Kouji didn’t press. He closed his eyes again.

”We’ll be home again soon”, Takuya promised.

”Can I meet Shinya?” Tomoki asked excitedly.

”Only if you two don’t gang up against me”, Takuya grinned.

”I will make no such promises”, Tomoki grinned as well.

Izumi facepalmed and shook her head with a smile.

”It’ll be nice seeing everyone again. Even my classmates.”

”Too much staring at Takuya’s face drives anyone insane”, Kouji agreed from the ground.

”Have you seen your own face?” Takuya stuck his tongue out towards Kouji. ”You’re not the face of sanity yourself.”

”Uhu. I’m gonna go to sleep, wake me up when it’s my shift.”

”Princess needs his beauty-sleep”, Takuya teased.

”If you call me princess again I’ll beat you up with your own eyeballs.”

”Okay”, Kouichi laughed. ”Maybe wait with killing each other until we get back home.”

”He raises a good point though”, Izumi said. ”Who’s gonna take the first shift?”

”Junpei”, Takuya decided with not a second’s thought.

”He hates having the first shift”, Kouichi protested.

”First shift is the worst”, Tomoki said. ”Everyone hates it.”

”If Junpei didn’t want it he should have been here to protest”, Izumi agreed. ”I’ll take the morning shift.”

”Kouji?” Kouichi asked.

”Pre-morning shift, like always”, Kouji mumbled, not quite asleep yet.

”Can I have the midnight shift?” Tomoki asked.

”You’re the youngest, you get to sleep”, Takuya told him.

”Nooo, Takuya-oniisan should sleep since he's the one fighting against the royal knights! I’ll be fine.”

”You’re still growing”, Izumi said. ”I hate to admit it, but I agree with Takuya.”

”If neither of you want to sleep, I’ll do it”, Kouichi offered with a laugh.

They argued back and forth for a while, until they managed to agree that yes, Tomoki should get to sleep, Takuya would take the midnight shift and Kouichi would take the shift between Takuya and Kouji. Kouji fell asleep listening to them and they continued talking about stuff they missed from home while waiting for Junpei to return.

----------

Kouji woke up to Junpei’s return. Junpei argued a bit with Takuya about being forced to take the first shift, but eventually the others went to sleep and left Junpei alone. Junpei put a meat apple over the fire since he hadn’t finished his dinner earlier and Kouji watched him while waiting for the others to fall asleep. Kouichi was the last one and Kouji got up, sat down next to Junpei.

”You’re not homesick either”, he said and it wasn’t a question. Junpei looked at the flames for a while before answering.

”Not really. I miss stuff from home, but I don’t miss home.” He laughed. ”Why should I? At least here I’m useful.”

”I miss Wolf”, Kouji said. ”My dog. But I came here to escape.”

”I was…”

Junpei hesitated, then sighed.

”I was running away from home. I almost returned immediately though, this world was scary at first.”

”I’m glad you stayed”, Kouji said and was surprised to realize he meant it.

They sat in silence for a while, listened to the others sleeping.

”What were you escaping?” Junpei asked. ”...if you want to tell me.”

”It’s…” Kouji had to think about how to explain it. ”My brain was ready to move away from my grief, to do what my father asked of me, but my heart wasn’t. I… guess your father was something like that as well?”

”Yeah…” Junpei scratched the back of his neck. ”He wants me to follow in his footsteps and I just… want to carve my own path? I know there’s no future in magic, but maybe there’s something else for me out there.”

”Your tricks are great. I’m sure there would be a future in that if you wanted it.”

Junpei laughed.

”You never look at my tricks.”

Kouji hugged his legs and stared at the flames.

”It’s nothing against you”, he said. ”If you ever make it as a big shot-magician I promise I’ll come watch your show.”

”I’ll hold you to that”, Junpei said with a smile. ”What’s your big dream, then? What does the great Kouji want to be when he grows up?”

”I try not to think too far ahead”, Kouji said. ”I think father wants me to be a lawyer like him, but could you imagine me in a suit?”

Junpei could, but he wasn’t going to say that out loud so he shrugged.

”Maybe like the brittish lawyers, with an ugly wig.”

Kouji laughed.

”I’d make that look Great!”

”You would”, Junpei laughed as well and nudged Kouji’s side.

They fell silent again, watched the flames dance in the night. Junpei pulled out a chocolate cake from his pocket and gave half to Kouji.

”You don’t… need to be useful to be valuable”, Kouji said after a while. He didn’t sound fully convinced. ”It’s something I try to tell myself as well. Our value isn’t just in our usefulness.”

He smiled towards Junpei and took a bite out of the chocolate.

”Just by existing you have value. I fully believe that.”

”...but not about yourself”, Junpei said and it wasn’t a question.

Kouji didn’t answer.

”Even if your dad never sees your value, we do”, he said instead. ”You’re an important friend to us.”

”He sent me a letter”, Junpei shared, ”about how disappointed he was in me. I got a B in PE so my grades weren’t up to his standards any longer.”

”I had a C in art”, Kouji admitted. ”Lowest in school. Luckily father thinks art is absolutely useless, otherwise it’d have been bad.”

”Why are parents like that?” Junpei asked but he didn’t expect an answer. Kouji shrugged.

”I don’t understand any humans even on the best days.”

He stood up and looked at the people sleeping around the fireplace.

”We’ll return home”, he said. ”Our families may still be… bleh, but at least we won’t be alone any longer.”

”You’ll all forget about me when we get home.”

”Never”, Kouji promised. ”Not even when I get old and get dementia.”

Junpei snorted and shook his head.

”Go back to sleep”, he said. ”Kouichi’ll wake you up later.”

”Yeah”, Kouji yawned and stretched. ”Don’t worry too much, Junpei. There’s nothing wrong with not being homesick.”

Kouji laid down on the ground again, fell back asleep almost instantly. Junpei grabbed another apple and put it over the fire. Maybe Kouji was right and his father’s opinion didn’t matter as much as he thought. He’d carve his own path, somehow.

#my writing #digimon frontier #kouji minamoto #junpei shibayama #hurt/comfort #sicktember 2022 #I had fun writing this #at least when I got to the second part #the first part was hard #I've never been homesick myself so I was all ??? when I saw the prompt #so I decided I wanted the two people who weren't homesick to interact x3

[eyeless-jeff666]

Just A Crush

Tsunagu is very gay and very in love with Shinya but very scared to admit that Fluff

It all started when they were in high school. In the exam period, to be precise, when Tsunagu lay awake for nights. Not because he was studying so much. No, quite the opposite. He was awake because of a boy, younger than him and with long hair he had always hated. Always messy and unkempt and done in messy buns or even messier ponytails. It had bothered him ever since he had seen him for the first time. More than that, there has never been a single day where this boy had a neatly done tie or neatly worn clothes or even just tied shoelaces. In Tsunagu’s eyes, that boy resembled a gremlin more than he resembled a UA student. 

“How are you comfortable walking around like that?!”

“Like what?”

That had been their first interaction. In hindsight, that seemed quite harsh, but in that moment it had been the only thing Tsunagu had had in mind for this other student whose name he didn’t even know at that point.

“You're a mess. At least tie your shoes. And let me help with your tie.

“Okay. I’m Shinya by the way.”

From that moment, his mind hasn’t been still. Always running and running back to this mess of a person who, strangely enough, was starting to improve fast after this interaction. They spent more time together, mostly in the hallways before and after class. Those were the best moments of Tsunagu’s days even though they did nothing but talk, about trivial things, but it felt like so much more than that.

A lot more effort was going into Shinya’s appearance now, and that also didn’t leave Tsunagu’s mind. He simply couldn’t make sense of why neither version of this boy would leave his mind and why he wished to just sit with him and comb his hair. And help him find a better hairstyle. One that would be more heroic. Why he wanted to be with him and do anything, really. He would be happy just sitting there and listening to him talk while sewing. And maybe hang out after school and get ice cream. And hold hands.

Shit.

Tsunagu rubbed his eyes and got up to get a glass of water. He had the horrible feeling of knowing what all his sleepless nights and desperate waiting for any message and any chance to talk to Shinya meant. He knew it, for sure, deep down just below the denial. The cool water calmed him a bit and refreshed him but as he sat back down on the bed and checked the time on his phone, his heart skipped a beat.

‘Wanna hang out? I can’t sleep. Unless you’re busy studying.’

Various possible replies rushed through his brain, none of which seemed good enough to send. He wanted to say yes but it was past midnight and surely his mother wouldn’t like for him to go out that late. And the other shouldn’t be out at that time either, and they shouldn’t start this and form a bad habit out of it. For that reason alone, he knew that he really should say no.

‘Sure. By the park?’

‘By the park. Be there in 10!’

Never before had Tsunagu snuck out of the house; it wasn’t that his parents wouldn’t have allowed it but rather that it was simply unlike him. He left a note, though, just in case, and put on a jacket like his mother always told him to. And then out into the night he went; it was cold and some of the street lanterns weren’t working quite well and frankly, he was a bit scared. Class didn’t properly prepare you for walking around at night, sleep-deprived, and with nothing for defense but your own quirk. 

Luckily, it wasn’t a long walk and the lamps around the park were much brighter, thanks to the LEDs they used. Shinya was already waiting and waved with a smile when he spotted him. 

“Tsu!”

This made him pull his turtleneck higher into his face, to hide the soft blush that immediately formed on his cheeks. 

“Hello, Shinya.”

He replied simply, standing at a slightly weird distance from the shorter boy; really not wanting him to notice how flustered he was. Maybe it was because of the more formal school environment that he could push down his feelings there, or because he was so tired at that moment, but just looking at the other made him feel all warm despite the freezing air.

Shinya’s hair was done, in a sharp angle on the front and spikes in the back which likely took a lot of effort and hairspray. Tsunagu wasn’t sure whether he hated or loved it, and so for a moment he just stared. And blinked. And stared again as a badly fought grin crept up on the younger one’s face:

“Come on, say something!”

“It’s… original? Not in a bad way! Necessarily... I think it would look even cooler if you let it grow longer.” 

“So you’re saying it’s cool?”

“…yes.”

The older one could have sworn to see a tint of pink on his face, for just a moment, but blamed it on wishful thinking. Surely Shinya didn’t like him back and surely it was just a stupid little one-sided crush that would leave within a short while.

Except that it didn’t. It didn’t leave, not as they formed a club together, that was more an excuse to hang out than an actual club as they were the only members. And Shinya couldn’t even knit or sew or stitch. And not as Tsunagu graduated. Not even as they both started an internship together, in an agency of a popular hero who had expressed interest in them for a while. But had waited until both of them were free from the hold-back that high school classes could be. 

It was a nice thing; they gathered experience, earned some money, and saved people, more often than not together. And even now, with their own hero names, Best Jeanist couldn’t help but think about being with the man who now called himself Edgeshot. And who would always stay in his memory as the boy whose appearance he had hated so much it had pushed him to talk to him. Over the years, he had only grown more handsome, more mature and kept his humorous and silly side for more private moments.

“Tsu, your hair got a bit messy.”

Shinya said one day after they were sent home at the end of the day. He stopped in front of Tsunagu and reached up to fix the wild hair strand. His hands felt warm and the older one felt the strong urge to cry at how nice it felt:

“Please, stop.”

All those years, he had kept those feelings secret, scared of rejection and of losing the other as a friend. Of losing him altogether. It hurt to think about ruining what they had because of a confession. The younger one looked at him in confusion, stepping back:

“What’s wrong?”

There was genuine worry in his voice, and it broke Tsunagu’s heart. There was nothing wrong, the problem was that it was so right. That it felt so good. He wanted more of his touch and never feel anything but this warmth. But he was far too scared to admit that. They were colleagues, now, after all, and…

“Tsu. Talk to me, please. You have the same look you’ve been having for years whenever I show you any kind of affection. I’ve seen your blushes. And your smiles. And the way you would avert your eyes.”

There was a long moment of silence and the blonde felt a tear roll down his cheek; he tried to hide it by looking away as always. But this time, Shinya didn’t let him; with a soft gesture, he turned Tsunagu’s face back to look at him, his thumb softly brushing away the tear: 

“I know you’re in love with me. Now I know. I wasn’t sure before.”

It shocked the taller one to hear that, although he should have expected it. He wasn’t very good at hiding it, he never had been. Still, there was always the hope that maybe the other was oblivious to it. And his heart dropped in fear and guilt.

“I’m sorry, I really tried to hide it.”

“I fell for you first.”

His face stayed blank, his brain trying to process what his so-called "crush" had just said. 

“What?”

Was all he could think to say and the other chuckled. It was his cute chuckle, the one that was genuine and amused and not held back. He took his hands, and Tsunagu thought he was caught in a daydream.

“I got a crush when I first saw you and got jealous of all the girls around you. Even more, at the moment you talked to me, after I saw how often you looked at me with so much, what I thought, hate. I thought you didn’t like me and I was a bit upset because I knew I could never match your good looks. I wasn't motivated to even try to impress you. But then you talked to me and helped me and I for once felt like I wanted to put effort into my appearance. I dreamed about you sometimes but I never thought you’d feel the same.”

Tsunagu caught himself and now it was his time to laugh:

“I couldn’t sleep for nights when I realized I liked you. What destroyed me was the night at the park. When I saw you with your idea for your hair. And later, when you took my suggestion of growing it out. It made me so happy but it broke me so much because I was scared to lose you.” 

What happened next wasn’t supposed to happen. It wasn’t something he ever wanted to rush and it wasn’t the setting and it certainly wasn’t something he’d ever have done without asking. But he cupped Shinya’s cheek, and there was nothing but love in both of their eyes. The kiss that followed was the most wonderful thing Tsunagu had ever felt; he’d been dreaming about it, so many times that he feared to wake up the next second with nothing but his stuffy in his arms and neverending yearning.

But instead of seeing the ceiling of his room, upon opening his eyes he just looked back at the most handsome man he knew; and he looked adorable with the faint tint of pink on his cheeks, contrasting the deep red that colored his own. The smaller one was holding on to his collar and gave a shy smile before stealing another kiss. His lips tasted like cherry chapstick, something Jeanist had been too caught up in pure bliss before to notice. 

“Oh oh oh, you fell hard for me, didn’t you?”

“It feels more like I crashed through a glass ceiling. I need you near me like fancy expensive denim.”

“Don’t compare me to fabric!”

The other laughed, and pulled away, only to softly take Tsunagus's hand and pull him along to continue their way back home:

“Let’s be boyfriends.”

Years later, Tsunagu still couldn’t believe those words. He still dreamed about the kiss and smiled like a fool when thinking about it. They weren’t boyfriends anymore now but while they were, it was the calmest time of his life. But they had both been through so much, in their job as heroes and the constant danger they had both been in and still went through, it didn’t last longer than a few years like that. Their lives were too short and at risk for that. 

Shaking off his thoughts of the past, he turned over and kissed his husband’s shoulder softly while caressing his hair:

“Good morning my soft little fibre. I’m leaving for work. Do you need anything from the store?”

“Mhhh no don’t go. … I need hairspray please.”

“I already stayed fifteen extra minutes I really need to get going now, my dear. I’ll see you later.”

With that, he got up and dressed and only took one last look at the man as he walked out the door with a smile:

“I’ll see you later.”

“You take years to bring up the bravery to confess to me but then you just need 15 minutes to leave me! Traitor, traitor!”

Shinya joked tiredly, and made a happy noise as Tsunagu used his quirk to pull the blanket higher over his body:

“I love you, Tsu.”

“I love you more.”

#fanfiction #oneshot #my hero academia #mha #edgejeanist #edgeshot #best jeanist #shinya kamihara #tsunagu hakamada #bnha #gay #god hes YEARNING #mlm yearning #happy ending #fluff

[yridenergyridenergy]

Live report - Dir en grey tour22 From Depression to_____ at Kawasaki Club Citta [2022/10/26]

Setlist

MARMALADE CHAINSAW

-Saku-

C

Machiavellism

T.D.F.F.

Ash (2018 ver.)

The Perfume of Sins

Oboro

13

Ain't afraid to die (2022 ver.)

DRAIN AWAY

Merciless Cult

CHILD PREY

THE IIID EMPIRE (2018 ver.)

Encore:

G.D.S.

Schwein no Isu

JESSICA

THE FINAL (2013 ver.)

Hageshisa to, Kono Mune no Naka de Karamitsuita Shakunetsu no Yami

Rasetsukoku (2011 ver.)

---------------------------

This time, I was so far in the back and it was way too hot compared to the front yesterday. I was constantly wondering how Dir en grey were able to wear two or three layers of clothes on stage...

The background music was the same concept as yesterday, but I think there was one remix that we had not heard yesterday.

The band actually seemed to have started earlier than usual. Odd as well is that they come in to undefined music and the only video we see is near Kyo's entrance, where we got a bit of fire and the name of the tour.

Shinya wore a similar outfit, if not literally the same. His pink/purple hair really looked probant at times. Die at first looked like he was wearing something akin to what he had in mode of Macabre or mode of Vulgar, somewhat ample black top with a simple V-neck, as well as his necklace from yesterday, quite large in the centre, and at first it seemed like he had a scarf? But it was off in the first song, so either I dreamt it, or he took it off when his guitar got handed to him. Toshiya, next, wore a black dress shirt with what looked like a full turtle-neck white shirt, but if it was the same piece he wore at the encore, then it's sleeveless amd it has some gems on the front, courtesy of the d'Or probably.

Now, Kaoru... It took me so many peeks to figure out what was up with him.

First of all, the theme tonight was definitely orange. Both Kyo and Kaoru had that colour scheme going.

Kaoru was dressed like... The McDonald's thief and/or some Beetlejuice character? I don't have enough knowledge in either to tell for sure hah. So, his long-sleeve shirt was black with large orange horizontal stripes. But on his left, he wore some wardrobe cape-ish thing that had wide sleeves, but it definitely did not cover both of his sides. And then, I thought at first that it was an undergarment or another shirt underneath, but he had some kind of accessory scarf that went down to his belly at least that, from afar, honestly looked like it had a pattern of hamburgers hahah? Hence my reference to the McDonald's thief. Oh and he had huge raccoon makeup with thin stripes sparking his eyes on his temples. His mouth was a whole other story, also in reference to hamburgers or something... His lips were really dark and he had orange or purple drippings on his chin and down his neck. Either he overindulged, or that was supposed to be vomit.

Kyo now! His hair is orange starting from today! He and Kaoru had their hair sleeked back with gel, almost parted the same way too, from what I could tell. Kyo had orange on the exterior side of his eyes, which truly reminder me of David Bowie. Am I imagining that he did some similar makeup? His lips were once again heavily accentuated with black, it was clear that the makeup boldened beyond just his lips.

In terms of what he wore, hahah... It was a bit like pajamas? Very, very ample checkered pants, a somewhat oversized very long beige coat with black lines criss-crossing it. That one seemed more luxurious than the pants, for sure. His shoes, from what I briefly saw of them, looked too big for him, so they gave me the impression of being slippers, but I must be wrong hah. Underneath the almost trench coat he wore, Kyo had a white dress shirt with a black collar, and the jacket was slightly open in the centre to show a black T-shirt underneath. I couldn't tell exactly what it was, maybe the one he wore for those recent Phalaris magazine photoshoots, but all I could think was: "How are you sustaining this heat in so much clothing?" He even took at least two songs before removing that coat, although he did lower one shoulder quickly enough.

This time, I don't know if he just felt better today to begin with or if it was kind of strategic to hype up the crowd from the start, but Kyo absolutely had a better experience today. And very early on, it was the: "Can we become one?", "Can you go on?", etc. etc. He did a lot more interventions today, which sounds bad but really isn't. Yesterday, his silence actually let on his frustration, like there was no need to bother even trying anything.

The first few songs went kind of as you would expect them but of course, they had a lot of energy. Machiavellism was nice to hear! I can't remember if it was that song, but there was one where Kyo sang it very whiny-ly.

After one of the interludes to change gears, Toshiya drank water, turned to us, leaning with one arm up very casually on his speakers to stare at us intensely. Then, a really energetic song started and he spit so many particles of water upward above him, it came out of nowhere, from his mouth! It set the mood for the hyper song that followed hahah. Was it TDFF?

There were two huge smoke moments, one of them definitely being in Saku. We had seen from DVD performances that the beams of light all focus on Kyo at some point, but there was suddenly a lot of smoke behind him too, it was kind of surreal.

One thing I might have forgotten to mention yesterday about The Perfume of Sins is that it's the heaviest track ever because Kyo fucking death growls the "nose eyes ears" part, it's not just the whispers from the studio song. So imagine heavy panting while the static plays, a worrisome violin swaying in the midst, then the band bangs and Kyo growls out his lyrics like a beast.

This time, the gestures for "hitotsu oboete hoshii soko no inochi" were different, like there was one finger pulled from his left hand which then went out one year to vanish, but the hand and four fingers remaining disintegrated, so that makes me question the official translation a bit.

Toshiya was gesturing so much during Oboro, it was very sentimental. In the introduction, he did the "father, son and Holy Spirit" across his chest, and I think there was a wide arc he did with his arms later on.

I had more opportunity to observe the backdrops today since heads often blocked my view of the members. For 13, the video starts with bodies in... bodybags hung by their ankles, with multiple birds circling the sky above them, waiting to prey on them. It also showed a crucified hand. This time, I can't believe that they would have changed the video for one day versus the previous, but I strongly remember that yesterday, the fire shown at the end (kowashitekure subete o - destroy it all) was way too simplistic, but today it was more unique and it had a charred skeleton in it at some point. Overall, the imagery was very much: "killing what's already dead", I find. Or further desecration.

Oh and for 13, Toshiya and Kyo totally reproduce the amalgamated bass/umunjanai part even in the live, it sounds so fucking good. It's totally intentional, they're in synch.

I guess now I will always remember that Die has a part where he does not play, in Child Prey. Because for some reason, he decided to spray water from his bottle right during the song and then he threw it to the crowd. And the backup vocals seemed more dynamic now compared to yesterday, where it was one of the last songs. Also funny to look at the contrast between Toshiya and Die when they sing: Toshiya is frowning and lines form around his mouth from how seriously he does it, whereas Die is all relaxed hah.

Flawless throw of the mic stand by Toshiya this time! He makes the mic almost stay level, only making the stand itself rotate 180° around it vertically.

We clapped so much today as well for the encore. It seemed endless, and we definitely sped up uncontrollably three times at least. Hopefully it made the band members proud.

For the encore, Toshiya had his white sleeveless shirt that he probably had underneath, with two collard somehow. Die and Shinya had the tour T-shirts, both with sleeves cut, I believe. Kaoru had this sick sleeveless black jean jacket with what looked like a custom drawing in the back? It was totally a kind of big ghost head in his style. And he had a black T-shirt under. Finally, Kyo arrived at the very end of G.D.S. wearing the Perfume of Sins tour T-shirt with a frill collar that drapes his shoulders. I think he wore it and is once again bringing back stuff from his past outfits, but right now I'm not sure... Maybe a recent Desperate outfit accessory? Anyway, same wide pants.

Schwein no Isu was played rather energetically, with Kyo slashing his throat with his thumb, from what I remember. However, throughout the ending of the song, you could hear clicks, which did not coincide with Kyo or any of the other mics hitting anything. And as a matter of fact, Kyo's mic died before he could sing the final: "eins zwei drei vier", pointing his finger to a guy on the righthand side of the stage and signaling for him to come, before throwing his mic to the ground, sadly soundlessly. A guy hurried to connect the mic back. Overall, I think Kyo took the incident lightly, because as soon as it was fixed, he said something like: "I'm not done" or "We're still going on, right?"

But then, it was Die's turn to have technical issues hahah. The first notes of Jessica started but we soon abruptly stopped hearing Die's guitar. The whole band then stopped because it just ruined the song, they could not let Die return naturally into it with a new guitar seconds later. Kyo once again MCed but I totally didn't catch everything he said. He definitely joked around the technical issue. My guess is that it was like: "Don't worry, we're actually gonna play it. This isn't a tease. Seriously." Or something about how the issues spread on not just to him. The band had a lot of fun playing it afterward, whereas Die looked pissed off at least at first. He began playing with another guitar, I think, and he was looking head bowed toward his console in the back for the first few seconds.

When Toshiya was given his black bass, he brought it to the front and held it high in his right hand. And literally everybody knew, we all reached the same conclusion: "Oh shit, it's the WAKE UP! MOTHER FUCKER bass, we're going to get Hageshi sato!" And we did indeed!

One thing I noticed from seeing more people in front of me is that even if they are basically all a knot members or people rich enough to purchase a resell ticket, there are a lot of them who don't know the first notes of the songs, or when the headbanging parts stop... It's worse in tours abroad undoubtedly, but I would still expect much better from shows for the fan club.

One such moment was with The Final. I put up my hand as soon as I heard the first note, but everybody put up their hand only when Kyo put up his, seconds later.

Man, Kyo's ending note before the last words, you always feel as if you're holding your own breath with him and it feels endless. This time, there was an echo effect added to his singing exactly then, way too pronounced, and the fact that we kept hearing the last sounds while he sang the new ones kind of ruined the moment in my opinion.

For Rasetsukoku, Kyo told us something about ruining our necks. Hell yes! Kaoru's headbanging seemed way softer than on DVDs, now that I paid attention to it.

I can't remember exactly what song it was in, but something flew into the crowd while Kyo was crouched screaming or growling to the left of his crate. Then shortly after, maybe once the next song had started, he came back to that spot to throw water or squirt it directly on someone, throwing it intentionally in the audience afterwards.

But the finale was great. Kyo did not even bother growling the ending, he just kept headbanging while grasping the border of his crate, until he became still for a while. As Shinya ramped up the last of his drumming for the final bam, Kyo got back up onto his crate with his fingers already forming a fox sign! Then he waved bye and left, looking really satisfied. What a change from yesterday!

Toshiya brought a folded Club Citta towel and really made a big deal of showing it to us, I guess to convey his appreciation for this venue, which is celebrating its 100th anniversary. Then he left.

Shinya definitely threw a couple of drumsticks. Die also showed his throwing skills once again with a big proud smile. I don't think he threw much else?

Kaoru took a large handful of picks to throw in the crowd, and pointed again toward the back like: "Can you guys believe it, 25 years?" but then he turned his finger toward us with the same fond expression and that was just so heartwarming.

#Dir en grey #from depression to #25th anniversary #live report #japan #a knot

[wanderingchocolateeclair]

"I have plenty of hcs for these two in UA relating to my personal backstory hcs for them too, so if anyone ever wants to know those I’m happy to write them out :)"

Yes please !

>:D

CW: mentions of bullying, accidentally killing someone-

So~

Before I forget, this is a simple headcanon I wanted to include but

When Shinya was first year, Tsunagu was part of that year’s “big three” and was the top student.

Shinya made a promise to Tsunagu that he’d become the top student when he was a third year, and well- he definitely kept his promise! 

Anyway- onto the main ones:

For context, I have lil backstory headcanons for the two of them - both of which are very angsty bc <3

But thats for another time, I'll just include the main thing for these hcs-

Both Tsunagu and Shinya have accidentally killed a person/people, with their quirks, Tsunagu was around 12, Shinya was 10- (separately)

Being quirk accidents, it was brushed off as just them 'needing quirk counselling' so that happened-

Tsunagu got bullied A LOT growing up, for multiple reasons, but when he got to UA it became more of a different type.

People avoided him a lot in his first years, because "hey, isn't that the kid who killed a guy before?" "yeah- don't get too close- he might get angry"

It mellowed out after he became a third year, and he had gained a reputation for being very strong and stern and, well, our typical "jeanist-y" and though he still got bullied/avoided quite a bit, he did have a group of classmates and friends who were there for him.

His whole demeanour was made up from him simply putting walls around himself to ignore everything that others said about him, while also becoming insanely observant.

He made the arts and crafts club, because it was "important to be able to find hobbies, and also hone skills that could still be important to heroics, such as precision and focus."

But deep down, he had also hoped to maybe find someone who was like him. Who either had a quirk that everyone believed to be "unfit for heroics" or an outcast who needed to know that they weren't alone....

And well, of course, along came Shinya.

A first year, who miraculously seemed to fit that exact description.

Shinya was also bullied a lot, however it came more verbally.

Not many knew about his true backstory, or where he was from, but they did know two things. "he has no family" and "thats the kid who killed a bunch of guys, isn't it?"

And you can assume that most people grouped these two statements together, and that led to some even more awful rumours. But he was mostly just ignored and majorly avoided out of fear.

Going into UA, he masked everything he had with a smile and an energetic personality, trying to earn people's trust so maybe- just maybe- he could be seen as more than just the rumours that were told about him.

He stumbles into this empty clubroom, looking around and calling for the chairman to the handicraft club.

"If you're here to make fun of me or the club, please go away- I'm not in the mood today" a voice answered him from the closet.

When he got nearer the closet, he found a very lanky blond boy kinda....stuck....under a pile of stationary that seemed to have fallen over. He looked miserable as hell but insisted that he didn't need help.

Shinya simply responded with a "oh...no- I was actually looking to....join?" and was met with Tsunagu laughing like "haha very funny- tease the tired third year about their empty club."

And Shinya was like "what? no- I'm being serious..." and that was met with silence before Tsunagu jumping up with an insane amount of energy suddenly entering his speech as he very happily accepted this new first year into the club.

It was tense at first, as they both had never really spoken to other people before.....properly.....but after introductions and explaining why the club was always empty, they realised that they were a lot more similar than they thought.

Neither of them pried into the other’s personal life, however over the year of knowing each other they did end up sharing and learning bits and pieces. (this is also bc they re connect later on in life and share the bits that they never did in their UA years, finally knowing the full truth about each other and their stories)

Shenanigans ensue, just like in my other hc list, and they become really close good friends.

Now. Tsunagu struggled with his emotions. He was very easily upset and angered, and this made him believe a lot of things about himself - one of them being that he’d never be able to be a hero because he cant control his emotions.

Shinya was who helped him with this.

He reassured him that it was normal and okay to feel these emotions, and he told him that he believed in him. He told him that no matter what everyone else says, he knows he’ll be able to face his emotions and that they do not make him a bad person or a “villain”

(I’m sure you can imagine how this hc ties into bakugou’s internship with Jeanist)

In turn, Jeanist proved that he trusted Shinya. And that he didn’t believe he was a bad person, or any of the things the others had said.

Despite wearing his “happy mask” Shinya had never felt proper happiness, or felt what it was like to truly be his age and have fun.

And Tsunagu was who helped him with this.

He taught him that it was okay to show when he wasn’t truly happy, allowing Shinya to reveal his truer self around him.

And he taught him how to let himself have fun. Even for a few minutes. And he was the first person to ever hear him laugh, properly.

And they both helped each other learn to control their quirks and understand them properly.

There were some instances where one had to save the other from various stuff- often from bullying at first- but as the year passed, people learnt better than to mess with either of them, because they had each other.

Also they almost died during a school trip that involved the third years taking supervision over the first years.....during a villain attack that ended really badly-

Wound up in hospital a couple of times due to internship stuff/villain encounters, and spent the time making crafts together.

But also, they made each other lil charms of them in their original hero outfits that they have kept to this day.

After Tsunagu graduated, Shinya took care of the handicrafts club and managed to get quite a few members, however he missed the days of it being just the two of them.

I actually headcanon that they lost touch about a year or so after Tsunagu graduated, because Tsunagu moved abroad to study fashion stuff and further heroic experience, and Shinya went to study medical stuff- and though they really wanted to try and contact each other again, they both felt too scared and nervous to try.

Until they meet again one day and reconnect almost immediately- realising that they didn’t have anything to fear.

(Also this may or may not be bc my initial hc for these two was that they met in their adulthood -specifically in my fic “when it rains”- but canon came along so I’m fitting that into this)

(With the potential of added angst bc <3)

But yeah!!!! those are those!!! i think I’ll leave it at that for now so i hope you enjoy them !! :D

Again, if theres any other types of headcanons you’d like me to ramble about, or if you’d like me to elaborate on any of these further or give particular scenarios you’d like to know about, please feel free to send in asks my way!! :)

#tw caps #bnha #eclair rambles a bit :) #bnha headcanons #edgeshot #best jeanist #shinya kamihara #tsunagu hakamada #edgejeanist #bestshot #eclair responds?! #heres a few headcanons on the more serious side for these two #bc i know i talk a lot about them being menaces as teenagers #and getting up to shit and into troub;e #but they also had some more serious times #and mean a lot to each other #bc theyve always been there for each other #<333 #thank you for asking!! #i love answering things like this #bc rambling about these two is my specialty /lh