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#I had a head start today bc I already had like 700 words in this chapter
cemeteryrocks900 · 2 years
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Stats 04/13/22
TW weight and calories
Weight:101.6 how in tf.
Calories: like 2500-2600…
Steps:1700, +painting his room
Burned calories:68
Net calories:2470s?
Liquid/water intake:20oz max?
Feeling: SO MUCH GOD DAMN SELF HATRED I LITERALLY WANT TO GO JUMP OFF A CLIFF INTO KIRBY SHAPED ROCKS
IM SO MAD AND UPSET
So basically after we had dinner I tried getting dessert but the only thing appetizing was the van bean cheesecake, but no they were out, I asked if they still had the brownie sundae like their website said they had, nope out of it too
So I felt like the universe was telling me to stop
We went to target to get the cookie decorating kit (never ever get it, it’s so disgusting)
And there was a cold stone right there (god damnit I was so mad, I did NOT wanna go to that target for that reason bc it’s the ONLY cold stone in all of this county/region of where I live.)
But what did my dumbass do? Ask for cold stone. What happened? I got a size too big bc I didn’t have my glasses and I though the size was good (it ended up being too big and I didn’t realize they were gonna fill the crap out of the cup)
So the whole ice cream with topping was about 700, I’ve already had 1270ish from dinner somehow then I had some cookie and icing from the kit
I felt like I couldn’t control myself, I kept eating even though I was full, I kept eating some of the cookie even though it was disgusting
Idk what happened, but ik tomorrow I’m gonna sleep in till my case manager appointment at 1pm, then it’ll end at 1:30 or 2, then I’ll just have water and wait till dinner and then only have broccoli and cheese
I need to be still low by my bday, I never want to eat again after all this crap today, it was all sweets that I starting gorging on too and sweets are so empty I’m so mad at myself, but I think it’s because aunt flow is having a meeting with me next week and she will have to sleep over with me… heh get it… (if you don’t I’m trying to say that I’m getting my period next week and this is probably why I’m having such intense sweet cravings)
Anyway I took tums, I had water, I just feel like vomiting and HUGE TW FOR THIS NEXT PART OF WHAT IM GONNA TALL ABOUT
In the back of my head I was like “even though L4x!t!v3s only make you lose water weight, maybe it’ll help you feel cleansed” or whatever tf that means, but if I have intense diarrhea I won’t be able to explain it, and I don’t want anyone to catch on (everyone is pretty oblivious but still) and I just don’t want to constantly be shaking and shitting my brains out and I don’t want to be sick on my birthday too
I’m so scared guys, I definitely don’t wanna step on the scale tomorrow so I probably won’t but what if my ed thoughts make me
No. I won’t let them.
Ugh ok ily all, thank you for your kind words and ik many of you don’t know how to help and that’s ok, just knowing I have people here for me feels good<3
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schism-au-blog · 3 years
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Chapter Three
As Pearl and Rose headed into the base, they were greeted by Emerald. She grinned at them. “Back already? How are things looking?”
Rose smiled. “The war is going well. I received news that homeworld’s second kindergarten is having less-than-perfect results. Of course, there will still be more homeworld soldiers than normal. I hope there’s a good chance we can convince quite a few of them to join us.”
Emerald nodded. “I meant, how are you feeling? That must’ve been such a difficult thing to do.”
Rose’s face darkened. “Yes. It was a hard choice, and I’m still torn up about it.” She smiled. “But I have to stay upbeat for the purposes of everyone. If gems see me losing confidence, they may lose confidence in themselves, and you all are so wonderful.”
Emerald smiled. “You know, having a leader like you is the reason I’m so happy I joined.”
Rose smiled, more genuinely this time. “That means a lot to me. Thank you.”
Emerald laughed “It’s not tough to beat the diamonds.”
Rose laughed along with her, “I still can’t believe they cast aside so many gems for so abstract reasons. You, and gems like you, should be able to live in peace.”
Emerald nodded. “I mean, lucky for us Homeworld won’t accept fusions. Fusion is one of our biggest battle advantages.”
Rose smiled. “Garnet forming is what really convinced me to fight for the freedom of all gems, instead of just for the planet.”
“Just for the planet,” Emerald scoffed. “I can’t believe you were the only gem who was able to see the beauty of this place.”
Rose smiled. “It’s one thing to notice it, and something entirely different to fight for it. Now, I really must get to this-”
“Go, go do your important thing. I appreciate you taking the time to talk with me.”
Rose spotted Cherry, who had come inside since they saw her talking on the hill. She grinned and waved. “Cherry!” she exclaimed, rushing over.
“Rose, Pearl, how lovely to see you.” Cherry said. “You gave a magnificent speech,” she said, addressing Rose.
Rose smiled. “Thank you, I couldn’t have given it without you inspiring me!
“What was it you wanted to talk to me about?” Cherry asked.
“Ah, right,” Rose said. “We were wondering about your opinion of moving a few guard posts?”
“Yes, of course,” Cherry said. “Which ones were you going to move?”
“The pair guarding the central room. We were going to ask if we could move them to the outside of where Bismuth would be kept until the end of the war.”
Cherry nodded. “Every doorway would serve the same function. It would be no trouble. Do you want me to update that now?” she asked.
“I was planning on doing it, but if you’d be willing to-”
“Consider it done.” Cherry said.
“Thank you!” Rose exclaimed. “What else was I supposed to be doing?” she asked herself, as Cherry walked away.
“Find Garnet,” Pearl supplied.
“Of course! Thank you, Pearl, what on Earth would I ever do without you?”
Pearl smiled. “You’d probably be a lot less organized without me around.”
Rose grinned. “Most certainly. Let’s find Garnet.”
“Actually, maybe we should wait here for a moment. Garnet might know we’re going to try to find her, and look for us instead,” Pearl suggested.
“Good idea, Pearl! I would’ve never thought about that.”
Pearl smiled. She was so glad Rose let her have her own, unique ideas. It had been scary at first, but Rose had proven time and time again she wasn’t like the other diamonds. It was funny, but around Rose, Pearl felt free in a way she didn’t know was possible.
Pearl was pulled out of her thoughts when she saw Garnet approach. “Garnet!” she called.
Garnet smiled. “I thought you’d be looking for me.”
“How are things looking?” Rose asked nervously.
Garnet paused. “Let’s discuss this somewhere else.”
Pearl nodded, and Rose led them all into the room where Bismuth’s gem was bubbled. Rose felt a pang of guilt as she saw it floating above them.
Garnet closed the door behind them. “Right now, it appears a faction called the ‘metallic gems’ will likely break off of the crystal gems. Their goals will be like ours, but they will be in favor of shattering homeworld gems. Some metallic gems will want to shatter every homeworld gem they can. Some will want to shatter only elite gems. And others will only be willing to shatter Pink Diamond herself. In most timelines, their official leader is Bismuth herself. However, Snowflake Obsidian will run the faction while they try to get her back.”
“Is there any way to prevent that?” Rose asked tepidly.
“No, not without risking many worse paths,” Garnet told her.
“Oh,” Rose said. “I made the wrong choice, didn’t I?”
“No,” Garnet reassured her. “A better path was up largely to fate. This was the best course. There is no guarantee another path would be any better.”
Rose nodded. “So what do we do from here?”
“I hate to say it, but I think the best thing may be to watch and wait. Keeping Bismuth where she is should be fine, for now.” Garnet looked thoughtful. “In such times of crisis, it’s hard for me to recommend inaction. We need to find out which path we’re on before looking at which path we want to take.”
“Thank you for the advice, Garnet.”
Garnet nodded. “Remember, we can’t lay off homeworld in the meantime. We need to remind them we’re still here and fighting.”
Rose nodded. “I think we should try to interrupt their second kindergarten. We can try to tell the new Quartzes about the war. Let them know we’re here and ready to accept them even when homeworld won’t.”
Pearl nodded. “I think we should do a series of hit-and-runs, instead of a big battle. Hit the kindergarten, maybe send a squad to the reef, to the spire construction. Nothing too important, just enough to cost homeworld more time and resources.”
Garnet nodded. “That’s good. We should send teams of two or three.”
Rose looked towards Pearl. "Do you want to take the Reef with Rainbow and Yarhil?"
“We have to be careful with Yarhil if we’re going to the Reef,” Pearl said doubtfully. “It’s guarded by quite a few quartzes. Besides, there may be powerful gems visiting with personal rubies or quartzes. It won't be an easy assignment by any chance.”
“Yarhil has made it quite clear that she wants to fight for the planet. We can’t continue to send her on low-risk missions, just because she’s human. She’s trained with us for the past seven years, and is quite skilled. She’ll be able to get past much of the Reef’s security, since she doesn’t have a gem,” Garnet explained.
Rose nodded. “If we don’t believe in humanity, what are we fighting for? Let’s plan the rest of the teams and then inform everyone of the attack.
"Yes, of course," Pearl said. She began projecting holographic versions of various crystal gems. The three of them planned out the attacks.
They wrote the assignments in gem glyph and posted it on the assignment board. The attacks took place at different times. Garnet had to go inform her partner of their assignment and get ready to go almost immediately. Rose and Pearl had a few hours to spare.
"Rose, do you have enough energy-" Pearl started.
Rose nodded. "Rainbow should recharge it. I should be good until then."
Pearl looked down at the floor. She shouldn't ask Rose if they could fuse early, just for fun. It would be improper. Besides, Rainbow wasn't as recognizable or well-spoken as Rose. The very idea was absurd. Pearl smiled at the absurdity of a Diamond fusing with a pearl in the first place. And yet, she had, time and time again.
"Pearl," Rose said. "Let's fuse now." She grinned. "Would you want to?"
Pearl looked up at Rose in admiration. "It's like you read my mind."
Rose held out her hand, and they started the fusion technique Ruby and Sapphire taught them, modeled after the second time they fused into Garnet. It was a dance, a combination of styles, a way of easily syncing up with their partner. Pearl and Rose felt a glow come over them and they fused into Rainbow.
Rainbow smiled. She loved existing. She loved being able to feel Rose and Pearl's feelings. She continued Rose and Pearl's dance for a few steps. She sighed. She needed to find someone to take over weapons development for Bismuth. Thankfully, she'd only need to take over Rose's tasks, since Pearl didn't have to lead any training today.
Rainbow didn't look forward to the battle that evening. She was grateful to Rose and Pearl for letting her have some time to herself before the fight. She realized she'd probably have to unfuse at some point in the Reef, so Pearl could talk to the other pearls. Oh well, Rose and Pearl fused often enough that it wouldn't be long before she made her next appearance.
Now, who should she appoint to weapons? The appointee should be immune to fire, creative- Wait. Rainbow had a horrifying thought. They had built the forge to be used and operated by Bismuth, and only Bismuth. No other gem could operate it. They'd have to either scavange what they could from Homeworld or build a new forge. Well, one less thing to worry about for now, she supposed.
Rainbow walked out of the Crystal Gem's base. She knew exactly what she wanted to do. She ran to the closest human encampment, and danced with them for hours. She almost missed the attack, but she caught herself just in time.
"Hi!" Yarhil exclaimed. "I always forget how tall you are."
Rainbow smiled. "Want to ride on my back?" she asked.
"Can I?" Yarhil asked. "I wouldn't want to pull on your hair."
"It's quite alright," Rainbow explained. "You'll want to save your stamina for the fight anyhow, right?"
"I suppose so," said Yarhil, "But what about you, don't you need to conserve your stamina?"
"I'll be alright," Rainbow said. "Frankly, Rose and Pearl are both better fighters than I am, but I think Garnet wanted us to fuse for a reason."
Yarhil nodded. "I'm excited for my first real battle," she said.
Rainbow bent down to allow Yarhil to climb her. "I'm assuming you're scared, too? Remember I have Rose's shield. If you're in danger, I can protect you."
Yarhil climbed on Rainbow's shoulders, over the scabbard on her back, and asked, "What's your unique weapon again?"
"A parasol."
Yarhil raised her eyebrows.
"I can't see you, but I can feel you're not impressed. It's a lot more useful than it seems. However, yes, I do tend to use Rose's sword and shield in combat." Rainbow explained, standing up.
"That makes sense," Yarhil said. "How many battles have you been in?"
"I don't remember, honestly. I remember Pearl and Rose's, and they must've been in thousands, at this point. I, myself, have only been in about two hundred or so."
"'Only' two hundred," Yarhil said mockingly. "Why, I'm being accompanied by a rookie."
Rainbow laughed. "Are you ready? I can't promise I'll be incredibly smooth, I've only had someone ride me two or three times."
"Can you hold my legs?" Yarhil asked. She knew from experience, tumbling off a larger gem was quite unfortunate. She'd hate to make them turn back too soon.
"Of course," Rainbow said. She grabbed her legs and started to run towards the Reef."
They arrived at the Reef after about twenty minutes. Rainbow didn't mind making the run every once in a while, but she figured Rose would be glad once the warp was installed.
Yarhil looked up at the large, clam-shaped building. "Wow," she gasped. "It's beautiful."
The building was beautiful. Tall, blue walls, with gold detailing, curved into a sloped ceiling. The building was clearly designed for high-class gems, as no architect would waste such attention to detail on anyone lower than an agate.
"It's horrible," Rainbow said, curling her nose in disgust.
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inklingofadream · 2 years
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Ink’s 2021 Fics
Another year, another fic round-up post! A tradition I started last year (it’s my blog, I can call it a tradition if I want) where I post all the fic I wrote in the past year to be my new pinned post for any newbie followers in the coming year. Welcome!
According to my AO3 stats, I posted a literally insane 217,213 words of fic this year. That’s a 131% increase from last year! It was spread over 23 individual works. This post lists out everything I wrote, with descriptions that are somewhere between synopsis, liner notes, and sometimes an excerpt. Wordcount and relationships (romantic or platonic, healthy or not) are listed, but check the AO3 tags, warnings, and notes, as I won’t be including the content warnings here.
Unlike last year, where I had a solitary non-TMA fic, all of my fic this year was for The Magnus Archives. I have plans to change that in 2022, I’ve got something already waiting in drafts to be finished! 😂 I chipped away at some ongoing projects and started a bunch more, as well as writing a bunch of prompt fics and oneshots. Fic is divided into complete fic and WIPs (though my one ongoing series is listed as  a WIP, but contains 3 complete fics as of today), and each category is listed in chronological order based on most recent update. Completed fics are listed first so that the very oldest stuff gets a chance at a new audience, since many of y’all joined me in the latter half of 2021. So without further ado!
Complete
Apotheosis- 2.8k, Jon/Martin, Jon/Elias; One of many fics about Elias being much more himself in the Panopticon, and using it to be nasty to Jon, usually to the tune of nastyman romance. The Panopticon is a McMansion and Jon gets overlappy visions of himself through Elias’ eyes, Elias is Big Gay
He is sitting in the center of a prison, inmates Watched a nd writhing a ll around him as Beholding presses heavy upon them all, and it’s glorious. He Knows exactly what he is meant for as it all crests to a peak and- His younger self is stumbling through his first recordings as Head Archivist, and he feels an echo of that triumph, certain this time his plan will not be torn asunder at the last moment.
Ethical Consumption- 1.4k, Jon/Martin; Martin gets defensive of Jon Trying, and they have a lil philosophical discussion, ft. Jon as obligate carnivore
Infinite- 2k, pre-Jon/Martin, Martin & Jude; In which the Vast Avatar Jude Perry sends Jon to is Martin, not Mike. I had a lot of fun writing Martin’s monstery origin, and I do kind of want to return to this someday, to get into the two aspects of Martin crushing on Jon here, first being their relationship, and second being the relationship where Martin and Jude are snarky pals and she sends Jon there largely bc she knows he’s exactly Marto’s type
It’s A Date- 700, Jon/Peter; Peter runs into researcher!Jon, gets a crush, dresses like Popeye The Sailor Man, more at 10
Interesting- 1.4k, Jon/Martin, Jon/Elias; Panopticon Jonelias fic where Martin lives, which is huge for him. Also one where I have designs on maybe continuing it and showing what exactly Elias has in mind for Jon.
Retrospective- 300, Jon/Martin; This is underappreciated because it’s short, but I demand recognition for my galaxy brain idea “What if the Eyepocalypse was reversed in a chill way (this was written pre-finale) but no one really knew what caused it? What if the History Channel’s Ancient Aliens had to grapple with that?”
“Jonah Magnus… was an alien …” Jon gasped through laughter, burying his face in Martin’s chest.
Small Talk- 900, Jon & being disliked by his coworkers; Season 3, Jon accidentally Compels Daisy and regrets it instantly. Love a flashback to them in the woods, love Jon holding back tears, love some monster angst. Archetypal Ink fic, tbh
Burning- 1k, Jon/Martin; A different “Jon has a flashback” fic, this time in the Scottish Safehouse and about Jude!  But he and Martin have breakfast for dinner by the end :)
Mine- 2k, Jon/Beholding; In which I begin my meditations on the theme “the Eye just thinks Jon’s Really Neat” and use it to make Jon monstery. With some side dunks on Jonah
Its Archivist draws interest, running about collecting Marks and more and more afraid each day. Beholding does not intend to share.
we were so tiny, happy and shiny- 1.3k, Jon & Agnes; Some of my best fic happens when I get like One line from a song stuck in my head and have to exorcise it through fic; it was the genesis for last year’s Flesh!Martin fic, and it was the genesis for this. I got “Beautiful” from the Heathers musical stuck in my head and attached it to baby Avatars Jon and Agnes. Now they’re friends  :) May eventually get a followup adding Gerry for a Very chaotic trio
Beloved- 7k, Jon/Beholding, Jon/Martin, Jon/Jonah; The gilded cage Beholding-loves-Jon Panopticon fic that got away from me but I ended up quite proud of. Sweater by @suttttton is essential supplemental reading, showing Jon’s POV of Jonah’s chapter and some prime Separated Lovers Jonmartin angst 🥰
His clothes then had been plain and worn and his hair scraggly , but he looked more at home in them than he does with a gossamer scarf wrapped around his head and his hair streaming out in perfect, buoyant curls. Martin always finds Jon beautiful, but that was real, the man he loved doing his best. He could have just as easily called him handsome, or charming. Beautiful is the only word for Jon as he is now; beautiful like bone china, like a doll kept on a shelf far from the reach of children. Fragile and jealously guarded
Alive- 600, Basira/Melanie; I remain a stalwart of this shipping scenario. Unlike my previous S4 Basira/Melanie fics, this, in the immediate aftermath of the Flesh attack on the Institute, is less angsty and more the girls having a fun time bantering and goofing off together.
Quarantine- 900, Jon & Tim; Jon and Tium, unknowingly in the last gasps of their friendship. A brief moment where Jon is hurt and scared and Tim is his greatest reassurance, and they take care of each other.
Without You- 600, Jon/Martin; Actually bookends canon quite nicely, with immediately pre-canon and probably the only post-canon Somewhere Else scene that’s just somft I’ll ever write. Also a proposal!
Tied in Knots- 3k, Jon/Jonah, Agnes/Gertrude, Agnes & Jon; Is this AU the Regency? Regular arranged marriage? Game of Thrones? Fairy tale? I still haven’t decided, tbqh. It does feature Agnes finding out she’s Big Gay for Gertrude, though. Another candidate for eventual expansion.
Pretty Bird- 2.8k, Jon/Beholding, Jon/Martin; the Ink fic Deep Lore- to make sense of this you need to read Sutton’s It’s Like a Bird (Eyes in the Dark), which is a roommates/happy future AU for which you need to know my cult au, linked below. But if you can get past or ignore the barrier for entry it’s 2000-odd words of Jonah getting Jon all dolled up.
WIPs
Till Things Are Brighter- 27k, Daisy/Basira, Jon/Martin, Naomi/Evan; Thee Daisy time travel fic. Currently hoping to recover from the complicated planning and non-standard (to me) word processor it lives in for a return in early 2022. Has lots to offer in the meantime, such as: Daisy thinking Annabelle knows she’s from the future and is threatening Basira; Annabelle actually being invested in Daisy/Basira as her own personal soap opera; Gerry!!! Soon to offer: Daisy&Gerry&Evan&Naomi, the friendgroup only I stan; the new timeline finding new ways to whump Jon at every turn; Martin giving more bemused outsider POV. My biggest regret is that when I started planning TTAB, I was thinking of “Hurt” by Johnny Cash as the ultimate Jon song (it is) and a bit less JonDaisy friendship song. And I wanted to use a lyric from that for the title, but couldn’t find a satisfactory one, so the title is from “Man in Black.” I’m a dummy who found a perfectly good time travel fic title in “Hurt” eventually though! So really this and Beneath the Stains of Time should trade titles, the inverse is much more thematically apt for both.
Magnus Drabbles- 21k, various; In theory, a 100 word drabble for every episode. In practice, I skip one or two, write a couple for others, and include the Q&As and other supplemental episodes, so even though it’s over 200 chapters it’s not done quite yet. There are chapters for a lot of minor characters only I like, including Zhang Xiaoling, Major Tom the cat, miscellaneous minor Statement givers like the Oregon Trail Statement writer Mrs. Carlisle, and a couple of the people featured in the S5 Statements.
The Archivist and the Adventurer- 3 works, 7k, Jon/Martin, Jon/Elias; This is all plotted out, I’m just slow at writing it. In which Jon is captured by the Wild Hunt, only able to be freed by True Love’s Kiss. Annabelle has a larger role than I would’ve thought when I first planned it. Martin finally gets to show up in the 75% complete next installment! Also has a spin-off by @marten-blackwood in which Martin is fae instead of a human adventurer, Binding Love.
He had a little room off the Archives designated for his use, filled with basic amenities so that Elias would never have to amend his order to remain within the Archives at all times ( because Archivists belonged in Archives, not creeping about causing trouble and trying to find a way to trick their way to freedom). The wardrobe there contained clothing of all types, but every garment was made out of a gauzy material that practically floated wherever it was left loose and only preserved his modesty by virtue of being used in aggregate layers; it did nothing to keep out the chill, of Archive air or strange hands.
Beneath the Stains of Time- 34k, Jon & Daisy, Jon/Martin; teen Jon AU! Not so much time travel fix-it as Daisy making an entirely new and interesting mess. But she does eventually get Jon to like her. His staying with her in the modern day portions is more voluntary than it looks thus far, and I’m very excited to get into the why
Little Archive- 33k, Jon & Beholding, Jon & Elias, Jon & Gerry; baby Jon au! Eventually I will have an AU beginning with every year of Jon’s life. Neither of us can prove it won’t happen. Less planned than the previous AUs, we’re vibing our way through. Click through for eldritch entity validation of neurodivergence.
sitting pretty on the throne, nothing more i want (except to be alone)- 63k, Jon/Beholding, Jon & Gerry, Jon & Danny; Statistically speaking, if you found me through my fic this year it was probably with sitting pretty. The Institute (and the strongholds of the Eye generally- I have glimpses of that coming up that I’m very excited about!!! Although if you have an idea for a name for an Eye stronghold beyond the canon ones, particularly one located in Santiago, Chile, Athens, Greece, or Dakar, Senegal, hit up my inbox, esp before about Jan 2, and I’ll credit you in the end notes and chapter post here) is a lot more cult-y the way that the Desolation and Dark are in canon. And the Eye falls in love at first Sight with Jon. So obviously they need to take him home like a precious treasure ^_^ why wouldn’t Jon enjoy that? And I get to give some spotlight to underappreciated characters like Danny and Lesere Saraki.
"Jon, this is childish." Jonah's voice is still sickeningly condescending, and he's still inching closer. Jon scoots back, practically sitting in Gerry's lap. Gerry is as unmoving as a statue, and Jon can picture his eyes darting back and forth between them, trying to gauge from their conversation just what Mary did. Jon shrugs. "I suppose you'd know." Jon stayed up for three days straight, in the immediate aftermath of Mr. Spider. Unless he's willing to revert to using force, Jonah cannot willingly take him from this bed.
If you made it all the way to the end, you’re incredible. If you read any of my fic in 2021, you’re incredible! Thank you so much for all your support, and I’m excited for what 2022 will bring (though hopefully more of it will be academic rather than fannish, since I do need to graduate...) Y’all have been one of the biggest brightspot in a year with a lot of difficulties with my physical and mental health, and I appreciate it more than I can say 💗
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dxlansfxck · 5 years
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BLOOD // WATER [G.D] † 01
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Summary: Grayson Dolan, better known as “el diablo” – Los Angeles’ most known gang leader and drug lord – doesn’t usually think twice when it comes to killing someone that is dangerous for his business. One night, he meets this mysterious woman that out of nothing wants to start dancing in one of his DEVILISH-nightclubs. Once their heated relationship got more intense, he knew he’d be killing for her too – and realizes how handy she actually could be for him and the revenge he’s been longing for years.
Warnings: mentions of violence, sex work, stripping / pole dance, soft smut, gun use, blonde & tattooed Gray (it should be a warning bc it’s hot, lol)
Word Count: 14.5k
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Saturday, 13th August 2016. 10:47 PM
Loud, obnoxious sounds were filling the crowded streets of Los Angeles, caused by a pack of luxurious cars racing down the 700 Main St, passing by tourists and locals that were trying to get to the annual beach party on Venice Beach. The leading car, a black Mercedes AMG CLA 45, came to an abrupt halt, all the other cars stopping right behind it. The tinted windows rolled down as one hand motioned the crew to take a turn on the left side, while the Mercedes went the other way, trying to find a free parking lot somewhere… inconspicuous. Not that this car wasn’t inconspicuous at all, Jalen chose the sleek black one instead of his bright green Corvette, but it wasn’t even his job to fulfill this task on his own. Usually, Grayson didn’t give him those kinds of jobs, knowing that Jalen could do better, but today, everything was different. They were so close to reach their goal; Jalen just had to make sure everything worked out as planned – so he decided to do it by himself.
Grabbing his sunglasses, he stepped out of the car in one swift motion, closing the door behind him while walking towards the more and more crowded beach where loud music was playing, and drunk people were either grinding on each other or fucking in the ocean. He scoffed at the exhilarating freedom those people must be savoring, knowing that by tomorrow, some of them wouldn’t be there to celebrate anymore. On the other hand, it wasn’t his fault that they chose the wrong side.
Jalen quickly pulled out his phone, texting Grayson that he was there and telling him to look after him if he wouldn’t call him within the next two hours. Then, he muted his phone, stuffing it back into the pockets of his worn-down jeans while putting on some random base cap he found in the trunk. Lighting a cigarette, he passed some couples that were in the middle of making out, not caring about them at all – he was looking for someone different.
The heavy weight of the Glock that was pushed into his underwear was something he was used to by now, even though he wasn’t one to use it on a regular basis. Like already said, he wasn’t the one to do that.  The diablo’s hierarchy was strict, no one could ever come even near the rank that Grayson Dolan had, that was for sure. But Jalen, he was a close second, maybe even qualified enough to be called the vice president. He was still out there in the streets, looking for his rookies sometimes, but most of his business was behind a desk, just like Grayson’s. Neither of them was the one to have blood on their hands, why else would they have hundreds of members following their instructions?
This time was different, though. Jalen couldn’t sleep over the fact that someone else could be the one to kill this motherfucker, the one that seduced his girlfriend, the one that had her pinned underneath his body when he was out there on a business meeting with Grayson. He found out rather quickly, he left no one he was close to without observation, but he couldn’t believe that the whore he used to think of as a loving girlfriend would ever dare to cheat on him with Kyle Houck. This edgy, wannabe tattooed bastard? Yeah, no chance that he’ll be surviving this night.
11:43 PM
The beach got more crowded as the time passed by, but Kyle Houck was yet nowhere to be found. Jalen has updated Grayson, talked to a few other gang members that were there as well, but neither of them has seen the target yet. Jalen grew nervous and impatient, wanting this night to be over as soon as possible to head back home where his younger sister was possibly waiting for him. Y/N never liked the thought of him being part of this gang, even though she didn’t know what exactly he was doing in there. But he loved his family, wanting them to be protected for the rest of their lives – and Grayson was one of the few people that could help him with that.
Sunday, 14th August 2016. 12:18 AM
A mob of teal hair passed Jalen’s field of vision, causing him to be more attentive than he’s already been, following the colorful head with his eyes, slowly walking after him without getting noticed by the dancing crowd. Sweaty bodies were pressed against his and Jalen couldn’t help but cringe at that, hating all those people but envying them at the same time. Their life was easy and fun, his on the other hand was full of risks and worries, weighing too heavy on his shoulders.
The gun he had checked multiple times by now was burning into his skin, ready to be used any moment from now, but Jalen had to wait, not wanting to cause a mass hysteria. Kyle walked further down the beach to a part where just a few random people were standing with red cups in their hands, probably talking somewhere quieter. Jalen acted as if he was concentrated on his phone. ‘Got him” was sent to Grayson before he raised his glance just to be found right across from Kyle motherfucking Houck. Jalen was quick to grab his weapon, but Kyle was faster – and smiled down at him. “Hello there”, he grinned while almost softly caressing his own gun.
“Houck”, Jalen spoke through gritted teeth, loading his gun while pointing it at his opponent. The tattooed man laughed at his reaction, angling his head. “What brings you to our side of the beach, Y/L/N? This is Angelo Vendicatore territory and it makes you”, he steps closer to him, “our prey.”
Just then, Jalen realized where he was, surrounded by AV members. “Fuck”, he hissed, reaching into his pockets with one hand to press the quick call button that was holding Grayson’s number while still looking at Kyle, but he was too late. Just as Jalen was about to make his only shot – a shot that had to be on point -, he heard a loud noise followed by the worst pain he had ever felt. His ears were ringing, and his body was on fire, a loud scream escaping his lips as he randomly shot his bullet into Kyle’s direction, not even hitting him in the process, before he fell to the ground with a loud groan. “Y/N”, was all he could say, not wanting to leave his sister yet, needing to see her finally get a man, build up a family, moving out of their parent’s house. He promised to take care of them, but he broke his promise. He broke his life goal. Laughs and applause was heard, but he couldn’t concentrate on that while feeling such pain. Jalen cried, not caring about it at all, his vision getting blurry and his breaths coming shorter than he’d like them to come. He felt so, so cold and he was hurt. Flashes enlightened somewhere in the corner of his eyes, knowing that someone must either film this scenario or at least take enough pictures to threaten Grayson with them.
By all goods, he just hoped Y/N would never be able to see them.
Y/N. With the thought of his sister, he closed his eyes one last time.
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Late July, 2019
“Maybe you should go for it, Y/N. I know what they say about el diablo, but he never disrespects any of his girls – and you’ll be save around there. Jalen is dead, we can’t change that. It’s been over three years, you need to get your head back up, honey”, Zavi mumbles while scrolling through different web pages, looking for a better job opportunity than dancing in a night club. You sigh, pulling some of your thick braids in a knot. “I know that he’s dead, Zav, thanks for reminding me”, you shake your head, trying to get rid of the tears forming in your eyes. “But it’s el diablo, he’s known for killing people! What if I fall down the pole or anything like that? He fucking killed his twin brother’s fiancé because she was pregnant, and he wanted to get out of the gang!”
It was true, Grayson Dolan wasn’t known to be the nicest human being on earth, he killed many people – not that anything was proven by the police -, but people around the streets knew what he was able to do. He might not be the one to kill those people himself, but he for sure was the one that shoot the shot in this woman’s heart, enjoying the view of her falling to the ground, crying out her baby’s name while Ethan had to watch the entire time, not being able to move. Grayson’s men were holding him down, making him feel every bit of pain his fiancé had to feel, watching her life end while tears burnt his cheeks. Soon enough, her eyes showed no emotions anymore, her mouth hang open, but no sound came out, her heart stopped beating, still losing blood. And the baby never made its way into the daylight. At least, that’s what the rumors said.
Rumors said also, that Ethan killed himself right after that, others said that he managed to leave the gang, joining another one while promising to ruin Grayson Dolan’s life. But no one knows for sure what happened after that one special night. You didn’t know who exactly killed your brother, but you for sure knew that Ethan Grant Dolan was still alive, running the Angelo Vendicatore like his life depended on it. Yet, not many people have seen him ever since that night, leaving him to be as mysterious as you could imagine.
“Y/N, stop it! It’s your decision, I could totally talk to my boss if we have another spot left in the team, but you were the one that said working in a pet store isn’t going to pay your rent”, Zavi shakes her head while writing the number of the DEVILISH-nightclub down. “That’s the number I found online. Give them a call, maybe even just go there to introduce yourself, I don’t think Grayson Dolan himself will be the one to decide who’s going to work there or not. He’s probably too busy buying and selling drugs.” She shrugs her shoulders before standing up and pressing a kiss to her best friend’s cheek. “I’ll call you tonight, okay?” You just sit there and nod, still thinking about Grayson Dolan, while Zavi was already on her way out of the small apartment.
You knew you were in desperate need for a job, your parents didn’t even bother sending you any money to pay the rent when they moved away over two years ago, leaving you in the city where your brother was buried, but not wanting to live there themselves anymore. You on the other hand couldn’t imagine living anywhere else, Los Angeles was the city you grew up in, so many memories you had in each and every street that you could never leave that town. It was the city of angels during the day, but the city of the devil in the night – the city of el diablo, the city of Grayson Dolan.
Letting out another sigh, you quickly type in the nightclub’s number in your phone, breathing in a few times before pressing the call button, letting it ring for a while, but nobody answered. “Seems like I need to go there on my own”, you huff before standing up, taking a deeper look into your wardrobe, searching for an outfit to wear while having a job interview at a night club as a stripper.
You, of course, didn’t know what to expect there, trying to be prepared for anything that could happen. Starting off with a shower, an intense shaving session and you even exfoliated your skin to make it extra smooth. “I should’ve gone to the waxing appointment with Zavi.” You muttered, annoyed at the amount of time you just spent shaving, knowing that by tomorrow you’d for sure be covered in stubble again.
Now onto the big decision: what was the best way to show off your body, but not looking like a whore? On the other hand, it was a strip club, you might need to show off more than you usually would. You were standing in front of your full body mirror, the opened wardrobe right next to it, clothes were shattered all around your feet, some on top of your bed, but you felt like neither of them fitted. Usually, you’d go out in oversized band shirts and leggings or high waisted jeans, completely fitting into the whole “grunge/arthoe”-aesthetic without even trying. You didn’t like to dress up, all your clothes were comfortable but still cool looking, completely fitting your tattooed body. If you’d ever dance for el diablo’s nightclub, you’d dance in an outfit you feel good in.
Around an hour later, you decided on wearing a black button up skirt that ended mid-thigh and was tight, hugging the curves of your butt perfectly, showing off what you’ve got. Usually, you’d combine that skirt with a jeans jacket and an oversized shirt, knotted above your stomach, but that just wasn’t sexy enough. Grayson Dolan had the most beautiful, exotic woman dancing for him, skinny girls with porcelain-like skin, completely different from your dark skin and tattooed, curvy body. Back in the days people would call you out different names, not realizing that your skin color didn’t make your personality. You are black, who cares? You couldn’t change that anyways – and you love your skin, love the way it makes your light green eyes pop out and how white your teeth looked even though you were literally running on coffee.
One problem you’ve always had with finding cute tops was that your boobs were too big to wear most of them. That’s why you always decided onto something loose, showing off your hips and butt instead of your cleavage, but you felt strong and confident tonight, deciding on wearing a leather harness-bralette with some fishnet long sleeve over it. You’d totally dig some fishnet tights as well, but wouldn’t want to overdo it just yet, needing to find a pair of shoes fitting to that outfit. For you, it was usually either a pair of Doc Martens or some sneakers, but for today you decided to go with your old Jeffrey Campbell heels, the ones you wanted to badly but never wore them because they were made out of black leather and covered in studs. Well, tonight was the night.
LA’s streets were still filled with people, even though it was around 11 PM now. You didn’t like going out there alone, walking the streets on your own without anyone to protect you – especially in that outfit. For your hair and makeup, you kept it quite simple: bold brows, eyeliner and mascara, some highlighter and lip gloss. But still, you were popping out in the nightlife, people were looking at you with confused looks on their faces, eyeing you up and down. Your tattoos were always something that society didn’t seem to accept, making it quite hard for you to find a job these days, but you would never even think about getting them removed, they were a bigger part of you than your actual self. Your arms were sleeved up, mandalas and dotwork covering your left arm while your right one was filled up with beautiful flowers. Medusa’s head was covering your lower stomach, disappearing in your underwear – where it for sure continues, the snakes winding up around your belly button.
But your favorite piece so far was the ox skull right under your boobs, its horns going up on the sides of your boobs, while a dagger was placed between them. Some smaller tattoos were splattered around your legs, some of them stick and poked by yourself or your brother, but you loved all of them equally. You made your body even more beautiful than it already was by putting your own art onto it.
It was quite a walk to the DEVILISH-nightclub, but once you started to hear music you already knew it wouldn’t be as far anymore. The loud bass was already accelerating your heartbeat, making your stomach jump in both fear and excitement, but you were still more than just nervous. Your feet stopped abruptly; it was your last chance to head back home now. The red and pink sign of the nightclub was so bright that you had to squint your eyes to read it, making sure you were in the right spot. DEVILISH. There it was. Either your future or your death, you couldn’t know by now. Biting your lip in anticipation and agitation, you decided to stay there for a while to watch people enter the club.
Not everyone could get inside, you got to realize that so far. Boys in a sweater and joggers? Nope. Girls without makeup or high heels? Nope. Any other person that looked wealthy and arrogant, maybe even dangerous? Sure, come on in.
That was probably one of your biggest problems: the audience, the clienté. Those people, who will be watching you move your ass on stage. Those people, who probably wouldn’t even think about shooting someone your skin color. It was dangerous, you knew that, but it was also your only chance to stay in Los Angeles. You take one more deep breath, straighten your posture as you walk towards the line, waiting until you were the one in front of the bouncer. He raises an eyebrow at you, waiting for you to explain yourself while checking out your outfit.
“I want to…”, you cough, trying to control your shaky voice. “I want to dance for this club. My friend told me I could just come over to give you a sneak peak of what I’m able of?” The bouncer looked at you in confusion before speaking into his headset, unsure of what to do with the girl in front of him. You tried to resist the urge to bite on your bottom lip, not wanting to, first off: act like you’re weak and second: not wanting to smudge your gloss. His deep voice asks for your ID card, repeating your name, address and date of birth to the other person who probably must check your criminal past. Luckily, you had none that was written down by the police. With one last nod, he opened the curtain for you to walk through, wishing you good luck.
You were overwhelmed by everything that happened right now; your senses couldn’t even react to all the action around you. It didn’t smell like alcohol or sweat like most of the clubs you’ve been into, it actually smelt pretty nice; like a mixture of grapefruit, ginger and even coffee, maybe. Step for step, you dare to walk in further, carefully having an eye on the people that you passed on your way, one prettier than the other. Blonde goddesses, tall businessman, all dressed in Louis or Gucci. You looked down at your own outfit, frowning while doing so. It wasn’t anything expensive, nothing too daring and suddenly, you don’t feel as confident as you did a few minutes ago. You felt cheap, not worthy to dance in front of those people. As if they’d watch you, if they could enjoy a show by the other, prettier, more experienced dancers.
“Are you Y/N?”, a sudden voice tears you out of your thoughts, making you turn around with a quiet shriek. Right in front of you, there’s this woman and you could swear to god, she was the most attractive person you’ve ever seen. She was so tall, you had to tilt your head back to look her in the – bright blue, of course – eyes. She didn’t wear much make up, but she didn’t even need to. Her skin was flawless, her lashes long enough to just be coated by a simple layer of mascara and her lips, god her lips. They were covered in a nude gloss, looking so soft and plumb, you scolded yourself for always chewing on yours, which looked nothing like hers. “Yes, I am, ma’am. Y/N Y/L/N.”
The mysterious woman smiles down at you, offering you her perfectly manicured hand to shake. “I’m Lia, nice to meet you, honey. I got told you wanted to dance for us?” Her smile was still prominent, revealing two rows of beautiful teeth and two cute little dimples. You nod, still more than cowed by her appearance. “Don’t worry, love, our team is nice and loving, the girls will love you!”, Lia cheers while grabbing your hand and walking you to a huge door, typing in some code to open it, motioning for you to walk through it first. Somehow, you couldn’t help but grin at the hectic woman in front of you, nodding quickly while walking through the door with your head raised, making you look more self confident. Suddenly, you didn’t bother your outfit anymore, even though everyone else was dressed differently – it was your style, your dance and most importantly your body.
“You don’t need to be nervous, you won’t dance today, we just all need to get to know you first”, Lia smiles at you sympathetically while guiding you through the long hallway – the clubs music was nowhere to be heard anymore. “Currently, we’ve got 7 wonderful dancers, most of them are American, but we’ve got one beautiful Asian queen and a European goddess, we’d love to have someone like you in our team as well!” You cringed at her comment. ‘Someone like you’, what were you like? Were you different? Was it the tattoos or the color of your skin? “Oh, shit. I didn’t mean it like that!”, Lia cringes as well, trying to make the best out of the situation. “Don’t worry, it’s fine”, you mumble while looking around.
Just as if she was reading your mind, Lia points to another huge door. “There we are, it might be a bit confusing to walk through this long ass hallway, but Mister Dolan just wants us to be save from all those… people. You know, our clienté isn’t always the nicest, you’ve probably heard the story about our club and why it is called DEVILISH. But don’t worry, until now, nothing bad has ever happened, Gra- Mister Dolan just wants to know us in safety if something would happen.” You nod, waiting for Lia to enter the code to open the door, letting her step inside first this time.
“Okay, this is basically where we hang out before our show starts, we get ready in here, we eat in here and after the show, we could shower or take a bath in here as well. Mister Dolan offers each of us a room to sleep in whenever we need to make more customers, whenever we need a place to sleep or when we’re just too tired to head home, maybe having one too many drinks.” Lia smiles at the thought, she’s probably been sleeping here quite often. “He takes good care of us, Y/N, don’t listen to all those bad stories people tell about him. He has had a rough past, losing his brother like that, you know? I’m sorry for him”, she sighs before eyeing your outfit the second time this evening. “I love your skirt! And those shoes, god damned, I wanted to get them too, but I couldn’t figure out where to wear them. Well, by now I would know. Anyways, let’s find at least two of our lovely girls.” Lia starts walking through the different rooms, showing you the bathrooms with those luxurious bathtubs that made you think about the old one back in your apartment that you never used because you were kind of disgusted by how old and rusty it was. Usually, you’d just hop in the shower, scrub your body and jump out again before the cold water was actually hitting you. This seemed… nice.
Soon enough, you were introduced to a small Asian girl, also covered in tattoos, but a different style than yours. Hers were more comic book looking, some Ghibli figures dancing on her skin, some bright colorful ones, not fitting into your black and white scheme. “Oh my god, hi! I’m Yun Hee, but you can go for Yun, it’s easier and easier to remember, I guess. I’m glad we get another tatted bad bitch for our team!”, she hugs you, glitter spreading all over your body while you hesitantly wrap your arms around her as well. “I hope you’re going to make it, Mister Dolan is here tonight”, she whispers the last part into your ear, not looking at Lia, “He’s a sucker for his girls ass and can’t say no to a lap dance, especially when it comes to a girl with a body like yours.” Yun slapped your ass with a cheeky grin, watching as it bounces while you couldn’t hold in a small laughter. “I didn’t know I had to dance in front of him… I thought I’d just dance for you and you girls decide whether I’m in or not…”
Yun nodded with a knowing frown but got back to her cheerful self within seconds. “Anyways, I need to fix my make-up, I’m sure you’ll do fine! I’ll let Lia know to give you my number, tell me how it went then, okay?” Then, she was gone. And you? You were even more insecure, biting your lip in anticipation while looking around to find Lia. Instead, you stepped in front of the many full-length body mirrors, eyeing your outfit once more this evening, not sure if you want to do this anymore. You should’ve asked Yun about the costumers, the loan and Grayson Dolan.
“Y/N, there you are! Mister Dolan would like to see you perform, now. Don’t be nervous, I’m sure he’ll love you! I hope he does, good luck!”, with that, Lia pushes you through another door, leaving you alone in a dark room with dimmed lights, a little platform for you to stand on and a dark blue velour couch. You take in another deep breath, trying to calm down all your anxious thoughts before raising your head, letting your eyes adjust to the darkness.
And then you saw him. Erebus. El diablo. Grayson Dolan himself. Staring at him, you couldn’t move at all, hypnotized by his stunning looks, now understanding why he was named after the devil himself. He looked hot as hell.
“Hello, angel.” His deep chuckle brought you back from your trance, causing your breath to hitch slightly. You finally dared to really look at him, practically sucking in his appearance. His eyes even managed to sparkle in those lights, prominent eyebrows giving him that intimidating look and those, combined with his tight, chiseled jaw just left you like a shy little schoolgirl, dreaming of his attractive teacher. He tilted his head in amusement, raising one of those sharp brows at you. “Did something bite off your tongue? Or are you just so wet by just seeing me that you can’t move without dripping down your long thighs, baby?” Now it was your turn to raise your eyebrow, mocking his amused face while stepping towards him.
“Not the slightest, Mister Dolan. I came to dance for you and that’s what I’m going to do, yet I couldn’t get any preparation time. Is there any chance to change the lights and let me choose a song of my liking?” Your loose tongue causes his fists to clench, but he was somehow impressed, no girl would ever contradict him, especially none of those dancer girls. “Suit yourself, angel.” He crosses his arms while sliding back onto the couch with spread legs, making himself comfortable while taking a deeper look at your dark skin, covered in all those pieces of art. And that outfit, that no other of his girls would ever choose because it wasn’t as slutty, not as cliché. But on you, it looked amazing. You looked like a bad ass bitch – exactly what he was looking for these days. Mentally, he took a note on observing you the next couple weeks, minding something bigger for you already.
Soon enough, the lights turned a dark red, making you almost disappear as you slowly walked onto the platform as “DEVILISH” by Chase Atlantic started to fill the room.
SEVER OFF THE HEAD AND WATCH THE BODY FALL, SEE YOU IN THE DEPTHS, THAT AIN’T A METAPHOR.
SEX, BLOOD, FASHION DRIPPING HOLY WATER. HOLY SHIT, SHE WORSHIPPING MY DICK LIKE IT’S THE HOLY FATER.
As soon as the calming, yet rough voice fills your ears, you couldn’t help but slowly sway to the rhythm of the song you chose wisely – referring to Grayson, to his nightclub and his life. You’ve had lots of dancing experience, even took some pole dance classes, but dancing in front of the devil himself wasn’t something you could ever come prepared for. The beat started to get faster, making you run towards the pole and jump up on it, letting it turn you around multiple times with your head hanging low, bringing you closer to the floor with every rotation. Once your fingertips brushed past it, you let yourself fall until your back was hitting it as well, turning around to crawl onto the floor while opening your legs for him, humping the parquet twice.
TRIPLE THE SIX, I’M BLAMING YOUR GOD ‘CAUSE HE DON’T EXIST, I KEEP THE BEAT, ONLY TALK A FEW WEEKS THEN I CUT OFF YOUR WRISTS.
MEDICATION GOT MY HIGHER THAN HEAVEN BUT BRO I’M THE SHIT, BETTER FIX I SAVED FOR HADES, I’M POPPIN’ THE PILLS WHEN I’M SICK.
You didn’t dare to break the eye contact with the intimidating man in front of you, watching every of his reactions, trying to read his mind – but he was a professional in keeping his poker face up, not showing you any kind of emotion. Biting your lip in anticipation, you continue your dance routine, climbing back onto the pole until you were about to reach the ceiling, when you pushed your feet of the secureness, holding yourself up by just your arms while walking through the air, slowly circling around again. Then, just as the beat intensifies again, you press your back against the turning pole, crossing your feet over it while slowly tracing your silhouette with one of your hands. Your thick braids were flying through the air, your abs clenched, and you were slowly but sure getting out of breath, but you would never give up.
I ONLY EXIST TO FALL, HAPPENS LIKE THE GHOST OF GOD, I JUST WANT TO LET THEM GO. FEELING HOMESICK, FIRE UP THAT BLUNT, BITCH. SHUT UP.
DEVILISH, FUCKING WITH MY GUYS, YUH. I MAKE SACRIFICES, YOU MAKE LIES UP. HEAVEN LOST AN ANGEL WHEN I SIGNED UP, I MIGHT FUCK YOUR FRIEND, I MADE MY MIND UP.
Just as the music hits its peak, you pulled yourself up with your right hand, bringing your legs over your head in a split, spinning the pole even faster than before. Your legs were now above you, your head stretched away from the pole and hands working as wings, as you slow down a bit, winding around it like a snake. Taking a deep breath, knowing the next move must be perfect, you jump back up to the highest point, wrapping your legs around the pole as you let yourself hang from it like a bat, opening your arms while waiting for the next beat drop. Once it comes, you let yourself fall to the floor in a horrific pace, a move you usually just dared to show off when you were drunk. Just as your nose was about to hit the floor, you quickly let go of the pole with a somersault.
Grayson raised an eyebrow, impressed with your performance and shifting in his seat while waiting what’s next to come. You couldn’t hide a smirk while crawling towards him with swinging hips, enjoying the desirable glance he shoots towards you.
I’M DEVILISH, YUH. I’M DEVILISH, YUH. I’M DEVILISH, YUH. I’M DEVILISH, YUH.
Looking up at Grayson with a slightly innocent look, you climb up on his lap, debating whether to touch him or not. This man was out of your league, yet, you had to compel him, to seduce him like you would with any other man that was watching you perform. Without even thinking about it twice, you grab the collar of his dress shirt, playing with it while smiling down at him. You didn’t press your crotch against his – yet -, but you could feel his hips move to the beat as well, eyeing your entire body up and down
It wasn’t part of your choreography, but you bite your lip while placing his huge hands on your hips and pull off your fishnet shirt with them, wrapping it around his neck as if it was a scarf, giving him a view seconds to enjoy the view of your impressive cleavage. Then, you turn around quickly, pressing your back against his toned chest while using his hands again to roam your body, while wriggling around in his lap in a slow pace.
DEVILISH, SAY THE PART YOU LOVE ME, YUH. I DON’T WANNA TALK, JUST SAY THE PART YOU LOVE ME, YUH.
SETTLE DOWN, YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE ME DRIVE THE DEVIL OUT, YOU DON’T WANNA SEE MY DEMONS IN YOUR FUCKING HOUSE, YOU DON’T WANNA FACE DAMAGE IN YOUR MENTAL HOUSE.
Once the slow part was over and the beat dropped again, your let yourself fall right down onto his dick, earning a quiet gasp from Grayson, his hands tightening around your waist as you started to grind down on him, hands buried in his perfect styled hair. Just as his hands were about to travel further down your waist and you feel something starting to grow underneath you, you get out of his lap to dance around him while softly pressing down onto his shoulder. Once you were standing behind him, you let your nose brush against his neck, breathing in his heavy but delicious after shave, knowing that this man had to smell good. Your clothed tits were pressed against his shoulders as you gently bit down onto his earlobe, loving the way he twitched underneath you. Placing your hands on the couch upholstery, you lifted yourself up in a handstand above him, rolling down back onto his lap as the song finally comes to an end.
I TAKE DRUGS ON THE DAILY, I TAKE PITY ON THE PEOPLE WHO TRY TO SAVE ME, GOD DOESN’T EXIST AND EVEN IF HE COULD, OH BITCH YOU WOULD NEVER CATCH ME PRAYING.
Within seconds, you had your shirt back on and were standing in front of Grayson, raising an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to say anything. He, on the other hand, keeps on looking at you, burning you with his stare. Just as you grew impatient, he opened his mouth. “Where have you been all my life, angel?” He stands up, walking right up to you while pressing his warm palm against your cheek, almost stroking you. “Definitely not here, Mister Dolan”, you chuckle as you stepped back once more. “Well, what is your opinion on me, Sir? Will I be able to dance for your clienté?” He hated the fact that you were running away from his touch, but he loved playing games, he loved a challenge.
“Well, Miss Y/L/N”, he chuckled in his intimidating deep voice, “I do think you’d fit in perfectly, but”, he stopped once more, just to build up some tension, “why would I let you dance for me, angel? What would you do to deserve your wings? How important is this job for you? Tell me your story.” He was way too interested in her to just let her go like this, no. He needed to know everything, needed to know if she was the one. The woman he was seeking for, the woman he needed to finish off his plans.
“I’m sorry to tell you, Mister Dolan, but I don’t think my past is important for you to hire me, isn’t it? All you need to know it that I’m available on the daily, I will dance for you, your friends and your… costumers. I don’t mind if it’s one man or twelve, I’d still be up for it if the payment is high enough. I’m not for free, you won’t be able to bring me down, I went through way too much to be ordered around by another gang member, even if it’s the leader this time. So, you could either hire me and make some money with my body – a body like no other of your girls has- or I could pay your sweet brother a visit to see what he thinks of my dancing skills. Because I for sure know what’s going on with you two, Mister Dolan. I’m sick of deciding which gang my family belongs to, you know?”, your walk towards him, showing him that you weren’t afraid of him. The thought of your brother, killed by the rival gang, made you feel powerful.
“I once chose my side, don’t let me regret it.” You lift the left side of your bra a bit up, showing off the devil tarot card that held Jalen’s name hidden on your ribcage, always near your heart. “I’m not an angel, nor am I as innocent as you might think, but I am willing to fight for my survival. I am willing to fight for my family, even though I might have lost an important member of it. So, I wouldn’t wait another second to team up with Ethan’s gang, because I don’t want to starve to death, but my brother was part of the diablo’s , I guessed it would be just the best to follow his footsteps.”
Grayson’s eyes widen in shock before he frowns, pulling you even closer to look at the healed tattoo – you had to have it for quite some time now, not seeing any fresh ink or crust to show some healing process. “How long?”, he mumbles while secretly checking out your other tattoos. You didn’t even have to think about it for a long time, always remembering the night you got the tattoo together with Jalen.
“About three years ago, when my brother got his tattoo, he made me get the same one – I didn’t know what it meant, though. I thought it was like a brother-sister thing to do, get matching tattoos and stuff. But once he…”, you cough to swallow the lump in your throat, trying to find your voice again, “But once he died, I quickly found out what that tattoo meant. He wanted me to be safe if something happens to him. I knew I never had some receptive ritual or something like that, but I already have the tattoo – wouldn’t it be a shame to get it covered by Gabriel?”
“It would be a total shame, princess. You deserve an angel on your skin, but not that one”, he walks around you, acting like he’s inspecting you, as if he hadn’t seen enough of you during your performance. “Who was your brother, darling? Must have been someone I know, otherwise he wouldn’t be that confident of me securing his little sister.” Well, you haven’t thought through that part of you actually telling Grayson who your brother was, not knowing which position he had in the gang or if Grayson even liked him. On the other hand, you really didn’t want to know what your brother did, whether it was a simple drug deal or being the cause of someone’s death. It doesn’t matter, just because of this gang shit, Jalen ended up being the death one.
“Jalen, Sir. Jalen Y/L/N..“, you mumbled while lowering your head, afraid of his reaction. “Jalen? Jalen had a sister?”, Grayson raised his eyebrows once more, balling his hands to tight fists. “I never knew about his family. Okay, listen to me, Y/N. You should’ve been searching for me a long time ago, Jalen didn’t die for no reason, you got me?” You just nodded; eyes wide in shock.
“Jalen was somewhat of my right hand, he helped me do… lots of things, I guess. But they know who he was, probably checked out his family as well, but nobody ever knew he had a sister.” Grayson paces through the room, the red light making him look even angrier than he already was. “Where are your parents?” Biting your lip, you quickly answered. “Gone, they moved away as soon as they found out about his death – but I couldn’t leave the city I grew up in, I’ve got too many memories here. And I want revenge.” Your voice sounded stronger than you felt in this moment, but Grayson looked at you with an impressed glance, nodding in agreement. “That’s what I wanted to hear, angel. Okay, here’s what I could give to you: a place to stay that’s absolutely safe, money or whatever you’ll need to keep living your life and I promise you: you’ll get your revenge. But I need you to do something as well, angel. Are you willing to do something for me in return?”
“Yes, Sir. But you don’t need to do all those things for me, I’d be fine with a somewhat good paid job. I don’t need a new place to live in…”, you suddenly grew nervous again, not knowing what he had up for you. “Really, I don’t want to bother you, Mister Dolan.” “Stop talking, would ya? As Jalens sister, I owe you more than you think. This man saved my life way too many times.” He shakes his head with a chuckle before continuing. “And don’t worry, my house has more than enough rooms, I wouldn’t even know you’re there. Anyways, I think you’d look quite good by my side, don’t you think? So, in return I want you to keep me company whenever I need to do important stuff. I want you to dress up pretty for me, lull my business partners and who knows, maybe you could be the one to finally ruin my brother. I know you’ve got your brothers blood in your veins as well. You’re a fighter, angel. Would you like to fight on my side?”
Grayson steps towards you, placing his hands on your waist as he whispers the last couple words against your lips, leaving you gasp in excitement. “You sure, Sir? I don’t know if I’d look that good by your side, I-“ “Oh angel, you don’t know how you’d look in Louis, in Gucci or even in Balenciaga? All those brands would be glad if you wore them, pretty girl. Where’s that skirt from, Forever 21? You deserve better.” His soothing words left you with goosebumps along your spine, making you shudder under his touch. “It’s actually H&M…”, you whispered, ashamed of your cheap outfit that probably hasn’t even cost half the price of his underwear. His fingertips were currently tracing your jawline while you were still thinking about his offer.
“What do you mean by living in your house, though? I mean… I do have my own apartment, there’s no need of me moving in with you. But I’d totally be fine with escorting you to your business meetings. And I wouldn’t say no to a nice dress. I came to dance, so that’s one thing I’d love to do for your club, Mister Dolan”, you giggled at the thought of something more expensive covering your body, knowing that Grayson wouldn’t be hesitating in buying you all the designers you loved. “I just offered you anything you could dream of, but you still want to dance in front of hungry men? What did I just got myself into”, he chuckled while nodding in agreement. “Fine, you can put on your show on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but on the other days, your body will me mine, angel. And about the living situation: we’ll be discussing that later, for now you can go home and think about everything. Tomorrow, you’ll be having a little shopping spree on your own, okay?” He hands you his credit card while grinning down at you. “Visit La Perla for me, darling. I bet you’d look great in salmon colored silk.” With that, he left you standing alone in that dimmed light, holding nothing but a black credit card in your hands – not knowing what to do with it.
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 “So, you’re really telling me that he not only offered you a job, but also to live with him in his freaking mansion? And that you denied that?”, Zavi shakes her head at you, blowing nose through her nose in disapproval. The two of you were currently wandering through your local mall, searching for some nice stage outfits. Grayson’s credit card was burning holes through your wallet, but you denied on using it, not wanting to waste any of his money for something you’d earn your own money with. Just as you walked past a small store called La Perla, you smirked while pulling Zavi with you into it. “Y/N! This store is out of our price range, c’mon, even looking at those pieces will make me poor”, Zavi whined as you showed her Grayson’s credit card. “It’s on el diablo. Don’t worry, I guess he won’t even realize that some money is missing. He told me to spoil myself, so why not spoiling my best friend too?” You shrugged while looking through the different lingerie sets, some of them out of complete mesh, others of lace – which you absolutely adored, packing 4 sets into your basket, knowing they’d look stunning on your body. But one pair of silky lingerie caught your eye, salmon colored and absolutely wonderful, you didn’t even dare to touch it. Zavi didn’t even bother to put that one into your basket as well, grinning at you while showing off her teeth. “Make him greedy for you, girl. Try it on, I need to see it!” She shoved you into the dressing room, handing you your basket after putting some more lingerie in there.
You put on one after another set, actually feeling yourself and smiling into the mirror with such a confidence, you couldn’t help but step out to show Zavi your favorite set so far – the one that Grayson suggested. It pushed up your tits to their maximum without looking too fake, but those panties were a different level. They were short, revealing but sitting on your hips like they were meant to be there. You turned around, showing her the fabric that was hidden in between your cheeks, showing the roundness of them perfectly. “Fuck, Y/N you look so hot, you’re driving my pan sexual ass crazy”, Zavi moaned at the view you gave her. Just then, you saw a familiar silhouette passing the dressing rooms, making you chuckle. “Hey stranger, what do you think of it? Or would you like to enjoy a show later on?” You would’ve guessed it was Grayson, following you on your little trip to see if you were about to spend his last coin, but the person that was now standing in front of you definitely wasn’t Grayson. “Oh, that color suits you pretty well. But let me tell you, I bet baby blue suits your skin even better.” You stood there in shock, not being able to speak up while letting your eyes travel the person that looked so similar to Grayson that it couldn’t be a coincidence. “Oh, I’m sorry, what a shame to not introduce myself. I am Ethan”, he holds out his hand for you to shake and as soon as your smaller one touched his, you felt instant rage boiling up your skin. But instead, you smiled.
“Well, hello Ethan. I’m Y/N, always up for help when it comes to finding a new style. Is there anything specific you’d suggest for me?”
You instantly regret going out in your sweatpants and some tank top you found laying on your floor, your face was free of any make up, wishing you had at least put some effort in doing your eyebrows. It was a one time chance to meet Ethan Grant Dolan, talking to him without him knowing who you were. “Oh, for sure, pretty girl. I see, you already chose some lace, that’s always been a secret love of mine, I adore women in lace”, Ethan closes his eyes, imagining you stripping down in front of him, wearing nothing but those see-through lace panties.
“Yeah, I can totally imagine you in that set”, he pointed over to a cute baby blue set with flowery lace detailing. “Oh, Ethan, this is so pretty!”, you smiled at the set, putting it into your basket willingly. On the inside, you were rolling your eyes at him being that easy to compel. Shouldn’t he be crying over his dead wife? This Ethan wasn’t someone you expected him to be.
“Let me buy that for you, Y/N. It’s going to be my treat for you, hoping I’d be the one to see you wearing it one day.” “Oh, Ethan, I can’t accept that, this lingerie is way to expensive to let a stranger pay for me…”, you pouted while Zavi giggled.
“You like being a challenge, huh? I won’t be a stranger to you for long, baby”, he grabbed the lingerie to go and pay for it while you rolled your eyes as soon as he was out of your sight. “Such a fucking dumbass”, you huffed to your best friend. “As if I’d be in to fuck the guy that-“
“Here I am, babe.” Ethan hands you a little bag while smirking at you. “I put my number in there as well, I surely hope you’re giving me a call or at least some pictures to strengthen my opinion on you in lace.” He kisses your cheek before winking at Zavi one last time, disappearing into the crowd of people outside that store.
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Later that night, when you finally unpacked all the clothes and make up you bought, you decided on enjoying a nice bath and some Sushi in the tub while listening to music. Sadly, your pampering night got interrupted by the annoying ring tone of your phone, the display showing some unknown number. “Hello?”, you asked while chewing on a big chunk of avocado maki, snorting at the amount of wasabi you put on that piece. “Angel.” Grayson’s soft voice made you almost drop your chopsticks into the water, choking on the Sushi. “Mister Dolan.” You tried to sound professional, but which professional would ever decide on eating maki in their bathtub? “How is my princess? I was hoping to see you tonight, there’s still some things we need to figure out. Are you free?” “I guess I am, Sir. When and where to you want to meet up?” Opening the drain, you stepped out of the tub while grabbing a towel from your heater, wrapping it around your body and looking for your body lotion.  
“I don’t mind coming over to your house, would you?” Grayson asked casually, causing you to sigh in relief. “I’d like that, Mister Dolan. Would mean I don’t need to get dressed nicely”, you giggled while walking towards your bedroom, looking through all those beautiful pieces of lingerie you got with his – and Ethan’s - credit card today. “Fine, I’ll be there soon, angel.”
Minutes have passed and you grew more and more nervous, debating whether to wear something nice or casual, whether to wear make up or not. Well, you chose the same pair of sweatpants from before combined with a basic tight black crop top, trying to look at least somewhat sexy. Not knowing what Grayson had on his mind, you just set your brows in place with some brow gel but didn’t waste time on foundation or mascara. Then, your doorbell interrupted your upcoming anxiety attack, leaving you with one more spritz of your perfume before rushing to open the door. And there he was, dressed quite casually, some lose dress pants combined with a simple black hoodie – but he managed to still look stunning. “Good evening, angel”, he grinned at you while shrugging his shoes off. “Can I come in?”
You just nod, still perplexed about how different he looked from yesterday, but you instantly felt so miserable standing next to him in your dirty joggers. “Sure.” Stepping aside, you allow him to come into your cozy little apartment. “Do you want anything to drink? To smoke?” Grayson shakes his head, but you decided to grab a beer just to calm your nerves.  “I don’t really have much space to sit, is the couch okay for you, Mister Dolan?”, you bit your lip in discomfort, you’ve never been ashamed about your living situation, but you knew he was used to something much better. “Everything’s fine, angel”, he places his hand on the small of your back while guiding you to your own living room. Once the two of you sat down, Grayson looked at you with such an intimidating look that gave you instant goosebumps.
“So, what I’ve been wanting to talk about was our contract stuff. I know you want to dance for me, but you know that I’ve got different plans for you, right? It wasn’t just a wish of mine to have you move in with me, Y/N. I want you to live by my side from now on, not just as my coworker, more like a… girlfriend. It is hard for me to do all the business meetings alone, to attend anything without someone by my side. The problem is, I can’t trust most people around here. I mean, I could choose any girl from the gang, but… most of them are manlier than I am”, Grayson chuckles while looking at you, “Would you be okay with that? Just keeping me company. You wouldn’t have to dance for all those men, you could be by my side, in my house and live your best life while doing one, two things for me. To be honest, I’ve got plans, most of them maybe not as easy as pole dancing. But I feel like I could trust you – I know that I can trust you, let alone because of Jalen. I owe you something, angel.”
Grayson el diablo Dolan wanted you not to only move in with him, but be some sort of his girlfriend? Shaking your head in shock, you chugged down most of your beer before starring at him in confusion. “Mister Dolan, I don’t understand...” “Grayson”, he interrupted you. “Huh?”, you raised an eyebrow at him, more confused than before. “My name’s Grayson, don’t always call me ‘Mister Dolan’ or ‘el diablo’ that’s kind of weird, you know?” You gulped but shrugged your shoulders.
“Fine, I don’t care what to call you, so Grayson it is. Okay, Grayson. Don’t you think there’s some kind of love needed to ask someone to be their girlfriend? Instead of just asking someone jobwise. I mean, I’m honored, but… I feel like this is so wrong. I’m not an escort or anything like that – and I barely know you. What I know is that you can be really, really dangerous, that you own more money than I could ever dream off and that you could probably pay prettier and more graceful woman to go out with you. I’m not the one to be in the spotlight, Gray”, the nickname slipped off your tongue so easily that you didn’t even bother to correct yourself, “I need to be the girl in the shadows, the mysterious one that dances a few times a week and that’s it. If I was the one by your side, everyone would know me. I’d be everyone’s target.” There it was, the side you didn’t want to show anyone that works – or owns – DEVILISH. Your insecure, anxious self.
But Grayson was fast to react, cupping your face with his large hands, suddenly a soft sparkle in his eyes. “Listen, Y/N. The moment I saw you, I knew that I had to have you. Before you even started to dance, I knew what kind of ride you were – the first girl ever to open her mouth and be not up into my ass like all the others. I’m usually not the type to ask for anything, you should know that. But let me phrase it properly: Will you, Y/N, be my girlfriend? Or will you at least be willing to get to know me better?” He smiled that smile that would melt thousand of hearts in seconds, but you were still frowning, not sure of this situation. “I am willing of getting to know you, Grayson”, you bite your lip while nodding shyly, “But I still want to dance, you know that. I want to get paid the way you pay all your dancers, no benefits, okay? Dancing will be my job, we’ll see about the rest – that will start only in our private time, okay? You can invite me to dinner, I love sushi. Tomorrow, 7PM?” Out of nowhere, you got your confidence back, grinning at the man in front of you. Grayson couldn’t help but laugh.
“I’ve got myself a feisty one, huh? But fine, sushi it is. Wear something nice, though, I may or may not want to take you to another club afterwards”, he winks at you before standing up, looking down at you. “Mind escorting me to the door?” You nod, getting up as well and throwing your braids into a knot, relaxing your neck while doing so. “Oh, by the way. I met the other Dolan twin today. It was quite… interesting, I’d say. He even bought me those”, you giggled while lowering the waist band of your joggers, revealing some of the baby blue lace Ethan bought you earlier that day. “That dumbass even gave me his number, wanting me to send some pics in those.” You rolled your eyes, huffing at the thought of this greasy guy.
Grayson’s eyes widen at your confession, sitting back down on the couch in disbelief. “You met Ethan? And you didn’t tell me earlier? What did he say? What did he do? Does he know who you are? Oh, no, he couldn’t know. Are you going to call him?” “Grayson calm down! He was so weird, acting all flirty and stuff. I mean, I tried to flirt back, but I couldn’t because I kept thinking of Jalen. I still kept his number, though. What do you think?” You sat down next to him, popping your legs on the couch table while looking at the bill that kept Ethan’s number on it. Grayson scratched his beard, thinking about all those possibilities to ruin his brother.
“Tease him, send him pictures, try to get in his pants, I guess. But that would mean you couldn’t be the girl by my side… Mh. Fuck, Y/N that’s one of the best chances I’ve ever got. Okay, wait. Let’s do it like that: we’re still going out, doing all that official business stuff but you keep on hitting on Ethan, trying to convince him that you hate me with all your guts but you’re still with me because of my money, how’s that?”
You scrunched your nose at his idea, shaking your head no. “I’m not the type of girl to do that, Gray. It would be too obvious to be with both of you, don’t you think? I mean, Ethan doesn’t seem that dumb. But, I may or may not have a friend that he flirted to as well. I think she’d be up for it. She loves a challenge – and a good dick to ride on. How’s that? I just slip Zavi Ethan’s number, telling her to send some lingerie pics to him, trying to drive him crazy. And once he’s far up her ass, we’re destroying him and his business.” You raised an eyebrow, giving Grayson an asking look while typing Ethan’s number into your phone, sending Zavi the contact.
“Girl, I love you, I can officially say that. You’re a genius! But I got to say”, he eyes you from head to toe, smirking while doing so, “I think I’d still prefer salmon colored lace or silk on your body. Was your shopping day successful, angel?” You nod with a wide smile, thinking about all those luxurious lingerie sets that were ready to wear in your closet. “Yeah, it was wonderful. I was quite surprised though, I look fine as hell in salmon.” Grayson groaned quietly, nodding his head. “I bet you do, angel. I bet you do. I can’t wait to see it, mind to give me a show? I mean, I paid for it”, he winked at you, making you pout. “But I wanted to wear them for my first dance.”
“Dance for me, then.” Grayson kept his eyes on you, a soft smirk still plastered onto his beautiful lips while you stand up, basically running into your room to change into a nicer outfit. If Grayson wanted a show, he’s totally going to get one. Stripping out of your nasty clothes, you quickly slipped into your new lingerie set after removing the tags on them, turning around in front of your mirror with a proud smile on your lips. Salmon truly looked amazing on you, Grayson was right. You didn’t have a pole montaged into your living room, so you need to improvise in that, probably going for a lap dance or a striptease. One of your new favorite pieces you just bought today was a skin-tight dress made from black faux leather, hugging and stretching around your curves. It had so much cleavage, that you were unsure if your boobs were about to fall out during your dance, but they’d see them anyways – who cares? The back was something different, though. It was held by many straps, covered in rivets, giving it some sort of grunge vibe. To that, you’d usually wear some of your combat boots or over knees, but since you were at home anyways, you went barefoot.
Once you came back into the living room, you saw Grayson on his phone, probably checking up with his gang mates or whatever an important gang leader must do in his free time. Little did you know was that he already booked your dinner at this really fancy sushi place. You walk up to him, coughing quietly. “What’s your favorite song, Gray? What would you like to see me dance to?” You ask while standing in between his legs, caressing his thighs with your thumbs. Grayson lays his head back to take your appearance in, sighing at the view of your hips in that tight ass dress. “Fuck, angel”, he moans while gripping onto your love handles. “You could dance to anything and nothing, I wouldn’t mind at all. Look at you, girl.” He pulls you down onto his lap, smoothing out your braids over your back. “The worst thing is, I kind of know what’s underneath, but I haven’t seen it. So, what about me just ripping off that beautiful dress?”
You shake your head in amusement, standing up again before connecting your phone to the Bluetooth speaker, choosing ‘American Money’ by BØRNS. As soon as the soft bass starts, you sway your hips in front of Grayson, but he just shakes his head, pulling you back onto his lap while holding your chin between his fingers. “I can’t watch you just dance for now, babygirl”, his nose traces your jawline, inhaling your flowery scent with another groan while his hands explore your body. “I need to see you, need to taste you”, he mutters with closed eyes – leaving you almost paralyzed. His fingertips were melting into you skin, while his body was practically molding against yours, leaving no free space for anything. Opening his eyes again, Grayson traces the thin straps of your dress, biting his lip. “This makes you look so naughty, angel. Doesn’t it?” You nod, seeking for more than just his fingertips on your body, aching for his rough touch. “Grayson, please”, you mewl, rolling your lips between your teeth and looking down at him. “Please what, baby? Please, stop?” He grins, waiting for your answer. “No! Please, continue. Please, touch me. Please, remove this fucking dress”, you squirm around in his lap, searching for at least some friction.
“But, Y/N, I thought I came just to talk?”, he removes his hand from your collarbones, smiling innocently at you. Your blood was boiling, not wanting to waste any chance of getting Grayson into your bed. “Yeah, you did, but now I want you to fuck me, Mister Dolan.” Grayson loved the way his name rolled off your tongue, but he loved the sparkle you had in your eyes even more. “What was that, doll?” He needed to hear it once more, needed to hear her begging for more. “I want you to touch me, Gray.” Raising an eyebrow, Grayson gently rubs her back, her hair and her shoulders. “Like this?” You shake your head, whining in impatience. “No, you idiot. I want your hands here”, you place his large hands over your tits, helping him to squeeze them while grinding down on his slowly hardening dick, “while I need your tongue down there.”
His hands were fast to move to the bottom of her dress, rolling it up and revealing the fantastic set of lace that she bought just for him. Grayson breathed out through his opened lips, not believing what he was seeing. “Fuck, I fucking told you”, he emphasizes while quickly laying you down onto the couch, hovering over you with lust filled eyes. His fingers move to the already damp fabric, slowly tracing those flowers out of lace. Squirming, you were the one to remove your dress completely, enjoying his stare with a wide grin. “Look at what you bought, Mister Dolan. Don’t I look pretty for you?” “You look amazing, babygirl. You look like the queen you deserve to be”, Grayson breathes out as he picked you up, your legs tightly wrapped around his waist. “Where’s your bedroom?”
Just as you were about to tell him, Grayson’s phone began to ring, causing him to set you back onto the floor, picking up his phone with a groan. “What?”, he snaps, pinching the bridge of his nose, shooting you a sorry smile which you just shrugged off as you took another sip of your beer to calm your nerves down. You were really about to go there, even though you know nothing about this man besides that he’s fucking dangerous. On the other hand, he could give you anything you wanted, he could make your life hundred times better than it was by now. He had the opportunities – you didn’t. And by now, he was nothing but nice to you, as if he really wanted you by his side. “Taehyung, I already told you not to go that far all by yourself! I swear to god, if you get hurt, I’ll fucking shoot you!” Grayson’s loud voice dragged you out of your thoughts, making you look into his direction in confusion. He quickly mouthed a ‘sorry’ combined with an apologetic grin before continuing to talk. “Just take care, man. Alright, good luck, I’ll be there soon.”
You laughed as soon as Grayson had shoved his phone back into his pockets. “Don’t your own men listen to you, Mister Dolan? Where’s the authority?” Grayson laughed along with you. “Taehyung isn’t one of my… men. He’s most likely my best friend that wants to save my ass more often than I could save his. Speaking of, I need to head over to him before he ends up in the hospital once more.” He presses one soft kiss onto your blushing cheeks before walking towards the door. “I’m sure you’d like him too, but I need you to get to like me first! Tomorrow, 7 PM!”, he shouts before leaving into the dark night, doing whatever he needed to do.
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Once your clock hit 6 PM, your nerves started to go wild again. You were pacing around your flat, trying to clean up even though you just spent an entire day cleaning just to calm down. Of course, you were already dressed and did your make up, but you’ve been changing your dress at least 5 times, drew your eyebrows on twice and couldn’t decide for the perfect lip gloss for another solid 15 minutes. Grayson stressed you out, even though your “date” hasn’t even started yet. You spent the entire night thinking about what he had said to you, about the girlfriend thing and living with him, but you were still unsure. He has been nice to you two times, but you didn’t know him, didn’t know what he does in his “job” and you didn’t know if he would be loyal or if all of this would be just for the outer world. All you knew about him was that he was fucking powerful – and that scared you.
At 6.54 PM, Grayson texted you to come outside, so you quickly applied one more layer of lip gloss before slipping into your heels and heading out. Gasping, you couldn’t help but adore the car he was standing in front of: a dark grey Corvette Z06, one of your most favorite cars in the entire world. “Fuck, Grayson”, you basically moaned, walking towards the car, touching it with sparkling eyes. “Hello to you too, angel”, Grayson laughed before pulling you into his arms softly, pressing a kiss to both your cheeks. “I see you like my car for the night?” You not quickly, smiling at him. “Can I drive?” Grayson’s chest moved against your head as he chuckled, looking at you in amusement. “Not tonight, this is one of my favorite cars, I wouldn’t even trust Tae to drive it. C’mon get in!” He guided you to the passenger’s side, opening the door for you and watched you get in before closing it, running over to his side. Once he started the motor, you couldn’t contain your envy. “I will be your girlfriend if I can drive this car. The interior is even better, this car is pure sex.” “Keep on talking angel and we won’t make it to the restaurant”, Grayson glanced at you while maneuvering the car through the traffic, soft beats coming out of the speakers while Los Angeles’ skyline passed your windows.
“It is so beautiful at night, yet so dangerous”, you mutter with a sad expression on your face, thinking about the night you heard about Jalen’s death. “It is, but who am I to judge?”, Grayson answers, leaving the car in silence again. He was right, you thought. If his and his brother wouldn’t be in those gangs, your brother would probably still be alive. Grayson breaks the comfortable silence shortly after, announcing that you arrived at the sushi place.
“Urasawa? Grayson, this is literally the most expensive place. Believe me, I’m fine with ‘Roll Roll Roll’, really. No need to spent hundreds of dollars for some raw fish…”, you mumbled as you gawked at the luxurious restaurant, but Grayson ignored you, opening your door and holding out his arm for you to hold on to. Sighing, you stepped out of the comfortable car, grabbing Grayson’s muscular biceps as you walked in together. One of the waitresses came up to you, showing you your booth as soon as Grayson mentioned his name, leaving you two in the most private area after taking your orders.
“So, Y/N, why don’t you tell me something about yourself? Did you go to university?”, Grayson asked as he took a sip of his water. You played with the water droplets that were running down your own glass, shaking your head. “No. I was about to go to university, but then Jalen died, I needed to help my parents pay for his funeral. Then, I fell in some kind of black hole, couldn’t handle my own feelings and decided to take some time off. Well, I never applied after that, working here and there to pay my rent. College wasn’t a topic for me ever since. By now, I’m too old to attempt, I guess. Did you?” Not wanting to talk about you all night, you decided to ask him some questions too, wanting to know everything about him and his life. Grayson nodded.
“I did, but only two years, never finished because… well, the gang happened. Ethan and I were both going to UCLA, I studied law and forensic studies, while Ethan went for art and humanities – even though our dad wanted us to study architecture. But then, things got weird and difficult with us, so we stopped and went our own ways, you probably know the story”, Grayson shrugged as the waitress brought your food. You smiled at her as she placed the plate in front of you, Grayson didn’t even look at her. Once she was gone, you tried to get him talking more. “What happened between Ethan and you? I know what the street says, but I want your story.” “You should eat, Y/N. We can talk about this another time.”
The rest of the dinner went on with some small talk, but you learned quite some things about Grayson. He loved wasabi, even ate it without pieces of sushi. He didn’t do drugs, even though he was one of the biggest drug lords out there – he hated people that bought from him, but he makes his money with him, so who would he be to decline that? His mother and his sister are still in contact with Ethan, but not him. His dad passed away because of cancer, which caused him to donate around a million Dollars to a children’s hospice. You frowned, feeling bad for him and his loss, but also admiring him for his strength to still lead that empire on his own – starting to hate Ethan more and more. “Don’t worry, I’m fine by now. Learned to hold my head higher than they do. I don’t get called el diablo for nothing”, Grayson winked at you while eating his last piece of sushi, making you giggle, but also smile in admiration. “What is your favorite childhood memory?” You asked while continuing to eat, curious if he’d tell you something about his past. Grayson remained quiet, obviously thinking about it before answering. “Probably something with my dad. Whenever Ethan was sick, dad and I would go out and do things on our own. It was fun, almost like I was an only child, not having to share experiences with my twin, you know? Full attention on me. Not having to share dad or mom, something like that”, he shrugs. Nodding, you finished your sushi as well, laying back in your chair to relax your stomach. “I’m so full”, you groaned with an exhausted laugh, Grayson joining in. “You ate more than I expected, not that it’s a bad thing. Usually the girl I take on business meetings with me just eat some appetizers. I must’ve looked like Son Goku next to them, eating all the time.” Smiling, the two of you kept having a comfortable conversation, getting to know each other better and better, leaving you with the thought that Grayson wasn’t a monster at all.
Days have passed, conversations were shared, and memories already made. By now, you knew that Grayson wasn’t the tough man he pretends to be, you found his soft spot, even though you’ve been now living with him for little less than a month. You decided the day after your date night, that Grayson was right: you two were meant to be. All your worries were for nothing, Grayson cared about you as much as you learned to care about him. Including staying up the entire night whenever he didn’t come home, cleaning his wounds whenever he got into a fight and helping him with any paperwork that was bothering him. A smile stole its way onto your lips as you thought about your argument during your second week of living with him.
You just got into the car with Grayson, glitter covering your body, barefoot and an exhausted look on your face. “You tired, angel?”, Grayson hold your hand while driving, caressing it with his thumb. “Mh, yeah”, you yawn, head pressed against the window, about to close your eyes. He looked over at you, smiling, while he realized something on your exposed neck. His grip got tighter; eyebrows furrowed. “What’s that on your neck?” “Hmm?” “Is that a hickey, Y/N?” Turning your head in confusion, you rolled your eyes at him. “Probably something you did last night, babe.” Grayson shook his head. “I didn’t, this time. What happened during that privat dance? I told you not to make out with any of your costumers!” You shot him a glance that could kill – if Grayson wasn’t already used to your stubborn head. “Thank you for calling them ‘costumers’ as if I was some slut fucking for payment. I dance, Grayson. I don’t even strip that often, remember? You should, because you’re always there when I’m on stage. That private dance was just me on the pole, I didn’t even give him a lap dance, I don’t know what you’re seeing, but it definitely isn’t a hickey.” Rolling your eyes, you laid your head back again, huffing at his assumptions. Soon enough, Grayson’s finger was tracing your neck, touching the ‘hickey’ – and realizing that it stuck to his fingers. “Ew”, he said, looking at his index finger, causing you to break out in a massive laughter. “That, my dear, is lipstick. My own lipstick, to be exact.”
That night, Grayson ended up showing you who you really belong to – him, no one else.
That night, you stopped dancing for clienté, leaving Grayson to be the only one to enjoy your hips swinging to slow music.
That night, you fell in love with Grayson, because you realized he actually cared for you.
Smiling, you looked down at your intertwined fingers, gently squeezing Grayson’s hand as the two of you walked towards the empty beach, large cones with ice cream in your hands. “I’m glad this part of town is mine, I wouldn’t know what to do without Marco’s ice cream”, Grayson confesses while happily licking at his lemon ice cream. You nod, stuffing your face with the mixture of hazelnut and melon you chose, leaving Grayson cringing. “I don’t get your taste.” “I can never eat just milk ice cream, but just fruity ice cream is boring either. So, the only logical thing to do is just pick one of each”, you shrug as you bite into your cone. “Never liked that though”, you hand him the waffle as soon as every drop of ice cream was in your mouth. Grayson takes it, basically eating it in one piece, speaking as he was still chewing. “How can someone not like the waffle?” You shrugged, nudging his side and you started to run down the street, enjoying the wind in your hair, laughing as Grayson started to sprint towards you, trying to run faster than him. “I don’t need a girl that’s fitter than I am, Y/N!”, he laughs as he finally catches you, pulling you closer to him and pressing a soft peck onto your nose. Then, he wraps one of his arms around you, hugging you from the side while walking towards the soft breeze of Venice Beach. “Haven’t been here since… you know”, you whispered as you slowed down, terrified and anxious about your feelings. Were you ready to get confronted with that? “It took me a while to come back too. But I want to show you something. Jalen once told me how he imagined some nice guy taking you here, walking with you on the beach, enjoying the comfortable silence. Are you okay with me being that nice guy tonight? Fuck it, not just tonight. Always.”
Your eyes widened in surprise, allowing you to just nod. “Just… don’t leave me there, be by my side, okay? I don’t think I could handle it all by myself.” Grayson’s eyes got soft immediately, his fingers playing with the braids that fell over your shoulder. “You’ll never be alone again, Y/N. I promise you that.” Then, he guided you towards the water, lacing your fingers with his and pulling you closer to his side. Soft rustling noises were heard from the ocean, even some seagulls were still flying around, chirping above your heads. “Should we sit down here?”, Grayson quietly interrupts your thoughts, pointing to a clean spot in the sand. Once you nodded, he pulled you in between his legs, sitting down with you against his chest. “I’ve never done that with a girl, romantic stuff.” “Really? Not even in high school?” “No. It is difficult to date when your brother is always the one who gets the girls. I was always their second choice whenever Ethan didn’t want them. So, I preferred staying single instead of being just the Ethan lookalike. But let’s not talk about that, let’s make it to a moment you will ever remember and a night that you will never forget.”
And well, you did.
Grayson pulled you towards the water, the two of you only in underwear, deciding to go for a midnight swim. “Gray, please tell me nobody will see us”, you asked in worry, but Grayson just shook his head. “I promise you, baby. No one comes ever to this part of the beach, it’s el diablo territory – and I told my guys that we would be here tonight. But if you don’t want to…” “No! I want it, but… not in my underwear”, you grinned at him while slowly unclasping your bra, letting it fall onto the ground where all your other clothes were neatly folded, your slip soon following. “C’mon, baby.” You ran into the cold water, yelping at the feeling, but laughing as soon as you realized you were back in your element, letting yourself fall under the surface. Grayson laughed, enjoying your carefree side – and the view – before he stepped out of his boxers and ran towards you, embracing your naked body with his own, warming you up and engulfing you in comfort. Your skin was glistering from all those water droplets reflecting the moonlight, you were stunning, like Selene herself. Grayson’s personal goddess of the moon, of the night – and of his life.
Grayson on the other hand looked like a mixture of Hades and Nyx – if she was a man -, fitting perfectly into the night, shining under the starry sky. His broad shoulders broke the soft waves on the water surface, his strong arms holding you up against him. “You’re so beautiful, angel”, he whispered as he admired your simple beauty. You smiled at him, tracing his tattoos with your fingertips. “You’re a piece of art. I love every single one of your tattoos”, you hum. “I… love you.” There you said it, looking at Grayson with wide eyes, just like a shy deer, scared of his reaction. Grayson’s face softens immediately, mouth hanging open before it cracks into a smile, pressing soft little kisses around your mouth. “I love you too, angel. I never thought I’d say that, but I love you. I love you. I love you.” His hands were everywhere, showing how much he loved every part of you, starting from your face down to your neck, your arms, your fingertips, going back up again to caress the curves of your breasts, your hips and your butt before he grabs your legs to wrap around his waist.
You didn’t even break eye contact once, not as he touched your nipples, nor as he slowly enters you. Both of your lips were parted, chests pressed against each other’s as you moved gently against Grayson, soft hums leaving both of your mouths as the water around you started to move with your actions. “Grayson”, you whimper as he buried his face into the crook of your neck, his teeth teasing the sensitive skin. “I’m here, baby.” His soft thrusts grew unsteadied, whimpers turning into moans as Grayson hits the right spot each time. Again, you couldn’t believe that this tough, almost criminal man was so soft when it comes to you. You tilt your head back, looking up to the stars and start to ask yourself how you out of all people deserved to get this man. “I love you, Gray”, you moaned out as you clenched around him, your orgasm coming in stronger than the waves around you. “Fuck, angel, I love you.” With that, Grayson came too but remained inside you while you shared this intimate moment, soft kisses and many whispered promises, before you eventually went in for another round.
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lixhive · 4 years
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destined mates - knj pt.2
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♡ pairing: hybrid!namjoon x female!reader ♡ word count: 700+ ♡ rating: pg13 ♡ genre: hybrid, modern, fluffy ❝..in which y/n, a human girl, meets namjoon, a wolf hybrid by the place she works. and only after a little while, their connection grows into something they both never expected...❞
♡ warnings: mentions of blood and abuse ♡ a/n: requests are open! request here | how to request | and message me if you want me to tag you in any of the series I have. ♡ taglist: @morgans-fic-box​ ♡ masterlists: bts masterlist | destined mates masterlist
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“He’s here to help you.” Y/n states while squeezing his hand. Before Namjoon he could say anything, the room around Namjoon went pitch black. His body became heavy and unbalanced. The last thing he heard was y/n’s voice calling his name.
He was now completely passed out. Jin reaches Y/n’s side and opens up Namjoon’s jacket to see spots of blood. Y/n’s first reaction is to move away. Seeing blood wasn’t the problem. The problem was that there was so much of it. Y/n could clearly see the deep cuts Namjoon has. She turned around and covered her eyes. 
“I’ll take care of him but it’s going to take some time,” Jin utters as he takes out supplies. Y/n couldn’t answer. The only she could do was nod her head but she was worried. The hybrid that looked down upon her was now in need of help. “Do you know what happened to him?” 
“All I know is that he came to me for help. I didn’t even know his name until today.” You mutter. Things were going too fast for your liking. “Go home, I’ll get Taehyung to help. I’ll call when he is conscious again.” You felt a hand on your shoulder. 
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“Y/n, are you okay?” Dahyun asks while putting the menus away. You thought work would cloud your thoughts or would at least take your mind off of Namjoon. You couldn’t even focus on work. Namjoon was constantly roaming your mind. He came to you for help. “I need your help.” Were the exact words he told you that day.
“Yea, just a bit tired.” That’s all you could say before you went into the back to get your things. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” A small smile on your face as you wave bye to your coworkers. Then your phone went off.
[y/n]: “Hello?
[Jin]: “Y/n-ah, is it possible if you can come over to the hospital on 35th?”
[y/n]: “Sure, I’m on my way.”
Now you were scared. Beyond terrified. Y/n waited for that call and she got it. After a week. That’s how long she been distracted by him.
Y/n turns around and heads towards the nearest bus stop. “I hope you’re okay...” she whispers to herself. A silent spoken prayer. Nothing matters but getting to the hospital. Then it hit her. They’re at the hospital. What if he freaks out? Is he in more danger? Namjoon, please be okay. She thought.
Trains weren’t stopping. Each train of thought never even made a stop. They had no certain destination.
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“Is Namjoon okay? Is he recovering?” You ask as you play with your fingertips. It was a nervous habit. One of the nervous habits you had anyway. Y/n and Jin stood outside Namjoon’s door. “He’s okay but he’s just not happy about being in the hospital. But I couldn’t do anything if I didn’t have the proper instruments. And just to be safe, he is under a different name.” 
“Okay, that’s good.” The worry that wandered around your body began to fade away. You push the door open in front of you, hearing the steady beeps of machines. Y/n’s eyes land on the sleeping figure in the bed. 
“Namjoon?” You utter softly. His left ear twitches at your voice. “He’s under a sedative right now.” Closing the door behind him, Jin looks at his clipboard and checks a few things off. “You can take him home tomorrow afternoon. He just needs to take a few pills, change his bandages after a while and lay down on his back as much as possible. He has a few fractures around his rib cage.” That made your heart drop. He was bleeding blood in front of you that day but it wasn't as bad as it was. Or maybe that's you trying to forget the fact you saw the blood.
How did you get hurt? Did someone do this to you? Y/n can still see a bit of bruises left on his skin. “I have a bit of bad news...” Jin starts. “When I looked up his name, he belongs to the Kims. I’m guessing he ran away from abuse. And they’re still looking for him. I suggest you keep him hidden.” You nod.
The Kims.
The richest family in the country. Everyone knew them but for the wrong reasons. You can’t do anything against them because they have the power of money. Mr.Kim was currently on trial for abusing his wife and daughter. And while he is being kept away from them, Mrs.Kim is busy starting scandals about cheating on her husband with about twenty men and eighteen women. And the daughter, she didn’t cause any trouble.
From what was said on the news, the daughter had left her home. No pictures of her were shown as if she never existed. “Is there any good news?” “You can become his owner in about two months if he is hidden well. Namjoon will be listed as a stray and you could sign to be his new owner.”
“I’ll leave that choice up to him.”
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After taking a morning shift from work, you went straight to the hospital afterward. Y/n couldn’t wait to get Namjoon out of the hospital.
You push the door only to get a low growl. “It’s okay, it’s me.” Y/n says while closing the door. Turning around, you look up. There he was as if barely clinging onto whatever will power he has to stay awake. “Why am I here?” His voice was a bit groggy from being under so many pills. “Jin had to get you here so he could help you. Luckily, I’m here to pick you up.”
At the moment, you were directly beside him. Y/n wants to reach for his hand. To find some way to comfort him but you stopped yourself.
Before your eyes, Namjoon sits up but he was in pain. Imagine how painful it was to lay back down. The painkillers were going to wear off soon and he felt it. “Do you need help?” Of course, he needed help. What type of question is that?! “No,” he mumbles as he finally stands up. 
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Once the two of you made it past the lobby and the elevator, it was a simple walk to your humble abode. Unlocking the door, you let Namjoon walk in first and directed him to your bedroom. That was the only bedroom in the flat. “I could stay on the couch.” “No, Jin said you need to be laying down for as long as you can to help heal your ribs and I’m not taking the risk.” Y/n’s voice was a bit louder than usual, she was putting her foot down.
“It’s fine, I could-” “No, just lay down. If you need me, call my name.” Shutting his request down, you leave him alone and took a seat on the couch. Then it actually slaps you across your face. You gotta take care of a hybrid you know nothing about. Apart from the fact that his name is Namjoon and was on the run from his former family. 
He was some type of dog hybrid... maybe? You have so many questions but knowing how cold Namjoon is, he isn’t going to answer any of them. So you figured out one person that will answer some of them. Taehyung.
[y/n]: i have questions
[taetae]: i have done nothing wrong
[y/n]: y do u assume you’re in trouble??
[taetae]: cause i usually am??
[y/n]: i have questions bc i don’t know what type of hybrid he is
[taetae]: U HAVE A HYBRID?!
[taetae]: how the heck do u not know what hybrid he is?
[y/n]: i found him at the restaurant and he came to me for help so i’m helping him. but he doesn’t talk much
[y/n]: he looks like a dog hybrid
[taetae]: i’ll come over bc there are mAnY dog hybrids
[y/n]: idk, he eats meat.
[taetae]: did you ask him what type of hybrid he is?
[y/n]: no
[taetae]: and u didn’t think to ask?
[y/n]: he’s in pain. we just got back from the hospital. and he is hella quiet
[taetae]: whatever, I’m at the door
“How would you already be here?” You mutter while getting up. To your surprise, Namjoon was also by the door. He stayed by the door, growling. “Namjoon?” Still not knowing what type of hybrid he is, you were confused.
“He is a friend,” y/n tries as she begins to open the door. There stood Taehyung with his box of a smile. “And you must be the unknown hybrid...” he utters quietly. “What’s that suppose to mean?”
Tae glances at Namjoon’s ears and stiff tail. “He’s a wolf hybrid.” Tae walks in and continues to observe him.
With only just meeting one another, Y/n can sense the atmosphere getting tense and thick. From what you could see, Namjoon looked like he could rip Taehyung apart. “You close the door and flick Taehyung in the back of his head. “Ouch... what was that for?” “You’re coming off as a jerk. Leave him alone.”
Watching your interaction with Tae, Namjoon calms down a little. “Listen, he is part wolf. He’s not going to like me at first glance. Any guy will be viewed as an enemy. Wolves and dogs are territorial.” “Are there more of them?” Namjoon inquires while looking at you.
“Sadly, yes,” you sigh. “Sadly?! Well, excuse me. I was requested to come here to get answers. But apparently, the wolf hybrid can talk.” Tae rolls his eyes and takes a seat by the couch. 
Namjoon stays quiet and turns back around and leaves into the bedroom. “What’s his name?” “Namjoon.”
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Stood Up. - Spencer Reid x Reader
this fic is for @captainreid´s 700 followers celebration challenge & i´m so happy to be a part of this. thank you again G & congrats to this milestone <3 ilysm :) 
 I´ve got the word „Commensurate“ which means corresponding in size or degree or extent. I´m still pretty unsure of what to do with this word since I´ve never heard of it before but here I am, going to give it a try and creating a fic. I´m sorry if the fic doesn´t live up to the expectations or the meaning of the word, but I tried my best. :D
Characters: Spencer Reid x Reader (female) 
Warnings: none really, maybe swearing 
 „Un-freaking-believeable.“, Y/N said as she stormed inside her shared apartment with Spencer. As soon as she hit the door close, she smashed her bag onto the floor and took of her shoes and jacket before she headed towards the kitchen.
„Hey…what´s wrong babe?“, Reid asked concerned as he met his girlfriend of 2 years halfway in the hallway.
„Life happened. Fucking people happened. Just because I´m a woman, they think they can make my life shit. God.“, she replied, almost screaming as she walked past her boyfriend inside the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee.
Spencer followed her, wondering what got her so worked up. He himself had just returned back home from a rather boring day at the office. They had no case, so they had to work on the paperwork all day long.
Slowly, he also entered the kitchen and came to a stop opposite of his girlfriend, eyeing her with confusion and worry. Y/N on the other side, took a quick sip of her coffee before she placed the mugh back down.
„Will you tell me what happened?“, Reid asked again, calmly.
Y/N sighed. She didn´t want to bother him with her problems, though they would also be his if her stupid boss kept on going like this.
She took a deep breath before she started to talk. „Well, seems like my boss is a dick. Like a really big one.“
„What´s new about that?“, Spencer joked and got a tiny little smile from his girlfriend.
„You´re right, he´s always a dick, but today he reached the top of the „being an absolute dick“ – latter.“, Y/N continued while looking at her boyfriend who had stepped a little bit closer.
„Okay..what happened? And don´t lie.“
„You know…ever since I started working there in this company, I had this stupid feeling that women and men aren´t treated equal. Like men have a higher worth then we have and to be honest, I don´t get why. Anyway, we had this meeting today. There are two new positions to be place with two people from our staff. Well, good new is that I got one oft he spots. And so did Tyler who has been in the company for little less over 5 months and I´ve been there for almost 5 years. Anyway, I was fine with it until we started to talk about the money.“, Y/N said and stopped to take a sip from her coffee.
„I think I can tell where this is going but I wanna hear it anyway.“, Spencer explained and waited for Y/N to continue.
„Well, seems like Tyler will get a lot more money than I will, which is totally unfair. Just because I´m a woman. This doesn´t have to mean that my work won´t be as good as his. This is just so unfair. In my opinion, the salary should commensurate with experience and for how long you´re already there, not with if you´re a man or a woman.“
„What did you do?“
„I quit.“
For a few moments, there was silence between the couple until Spencer stepped forward and engulfed his girlfriend in a big hug.
„I´m so proud of you, babe. You stood up for yourself. You know your worth. You will always find something better. Someone who appreciates you more for your work.“
Y/N tightly hugged Spencer back, feeling like a weight had been lifted of her shoulders. It only could get better now. But she was done with being underestimated and they would soon realize what they have lost.
A/N: i hope this one isn´t too bad, bc in my opinion it sucks a lot. but i hope you all enjoy :) 
@hellomentality @dontshootmespence @veroinnumera @sam-carter-in-training @princesswagger14 @tenaciousarcadeexpert @ultrarebelheart @illegalcerebral @remember-me-forever-silent-angel @imagicana @marvelfanlife @butsomeofusarelookingatthestars @crimindsaspe @captainreid @ssaunitchief @lookwhatyoumademequeue @sweater-vest-reid @crimeshowtrash @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @poppyreid @acespence @jenn-ifer-ja-reau
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quranreadalong · 6 years
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SPECIAL BONUS SECTION: MOSES’ EXCELLENT ADVENTURE, PART 1
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I’m sure this is going to shock you, but the next surah deals with Moses, yet again. Since we have seen our bud Musa about a thousand times now, and will see him a thousand more times, I think it’s worth exploring him a bit. Outside of Islamic sources, I mean. Who was the “real” Moses? How did his story come to be? What did it mean to ancient Jews? Speaking of whom, how did the religion of Judaism itself come to exist as we know it?
First, the bad news: Moses was not real. Yes, this means that the Prince of Egypt is based on events that did not actually happen, but you can still enjoy it. I mean, look at it!
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The Exodus story is an origin myth for the Jewish people. There was no mass Hebrew slavery in Egypt, nor did they build the pyramids. The various plagues did not happen, nor did the deaths of either Jewish boys or Egyptian firstborn sons. There was no enormous, 40-year-long trek through the desert from Egypt to Canaan. All archaeological and genetic evidence shows that the Jews have simply always lived in what is now Israel/Palestine. They were Canaanites, starting out as semi-nomadic pastorialists and transitioning to a settled life, just like other peoples in Canaan. So where did the Moses story come from and how did it become so central to the religion? This requires a shitload of lore and backstory to the D&D game gone awry that is the Abrahamic religious group. The lore of Moses is actually more interesting than the Biblical story of Moses!
Let’s set the stage first. Until the 700s BC, there were two related but separate Hebrew-speaking kingdoms in what is now Israel/Palestine (and into Syria, Lebanon, and Jordan), one called Israel and the other called Judah. The Bible claims that they were originally one united kingdom that broke into two after the time of King Solomon, but there’s no historical evidence to substantiate this. It’s not even clear how related the two kingdoms were--most scholars think that Israel was significantly more developed and wealthy than Judah. They both worshiped YHWH, along with other gods, and perhaps that is what made them distinct from other small states. Regardless, by the 700s BC, they were directly next to each other, like this:
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As the map shows, the capital of Israel was Samaria, which today is in the West Bank. The capital of Judah was Jerusalem. Israel was far more developed and populous compared to its southern neighbor--the Bible frames Judah as the central player in the saga because it was written primarily by people from Judah, which we’ll talk about later. But in the mid-700s BC, Israel’s status as the more impressive (and therefore more threatening) Hebrew kingdom worked to its detriment, as it was targeted by regional enemies. Assyrians were the ones to land the fatal blow; they invaded Israel and easily overtook it, due to the fact that the kingdom had already been weakened and invaded for decades prior to this. The Assyrians took so many people into captivity, and so many others fled the war south for Judah, that the territory was significantly depopulated. Unlike some other Biblical events, we know that this really happened, as it was recorded by scribes of the king Sargon. This captivity is only tangential to our story here, since the majority of the “lost” Jews never returned. They’re sometimes called the “lost tribes”; in reality they probably just assimilated into various Assyrian provinces or Judah over the centuries and stopped identifying as their “tribe”. But the point is that after 720 BC or so, Judah is now the sole existing Jewish kingdom. 100 years later, they would face their own problems.
The entire area at the time was caught up in a regional power struggle between Assyria plus their Egyptian allies and the Babylonians, the latter of whom were based in what is now Iraq. The Babylonians themselves were ruled by the Assyrians until they broke free in the 600s BC. And for one single, glorious century, the Babylonians went on a tear of fucking shit up. Most of this fucking shit up was accomplished by Nabopolassar, the first emperor of the independent empire, and his son, the more famous Nebuchadnezzar.
The entire Middle East, as it is now, was a clusterfuck at this time. In a single ten-year period the unfortunate kingdom of Judah was taken first by the Egyptians from the Assyrians and then by the Babylonians from the Egyptians. The event of interest here is the Battle of Carchemish, which transferred ownership of Judah from Egypt to Babylon, essentially ending Egyptian involvement in the region. By this time, the Babylonians had already largely destroyed the Assyrians.
For a few years, things were okay. The conquered Jews of Judah (thus the name “Jews”) paid tribute to their new overlords and everyone just existed in the typical unhappy master-puppet state relationship of ancient times. But then in 601 BC Nebuchadnezzar mounted a costly attempt to conquer Egypt itself. It threw the region into even worse chaos, as some of the Babylonian provinces now turned against their masters and supported the Egyptians. Once the conquest of Egypt failed, Nebuchadnezzar pulled his armies back to Babylonian territories and decided there would be hell to pay for those who had supported the Egyptians.
And so in 597 BC, Jerusalem was besieged. It did not last long, as the Jews were hopelessly outnumbered. The city fell easily and most of the upper-class residents of Jerusalem were kicked into Babylon. The Babylonians appointed a puppet ruler to keep Judah in check, but the puppet king Zedekiah resented his masters and turned against them, again allying with the Egyptians. And again there was hell to pay. Only ten years after the first siege, Jerusalem was besieged again. This time, Nebuchadnezzar ensured that there would be no more rebellions... by destroying the entire city. The Jewish temple was destroyed and thousands more were taken away. Judah ceased to be its own kingdom and was fully absorbed into Babylon.
It is in this era that the story of Moses was put into the form we now know. In fact, this era would completely reshape the Jewish religion as a whole, transforming it into what we now recognize as Judaism.
Prior to this, the Jewish religion was similar to that of its neighbors. It had developed over a period of thousands of years already, based on a polytheistic religious system developed by the Sumerians and introduced to the Levant region by Akkadian influence. In its earliest form, this religion was vaguely similar to Greek polytheism, with a head god (El), his wife (Asherah), and their kids (the various other gods). 
As the different parts of the Levant and Middle East developed (or re-developed) their own identities, they began to create patron gods for themselves, giving the gods their own personalities and characteristics. Sometimes different gods worshiped by different groups were originally one god. The patron god of the Phoenicians, for example, was Baal; the Arameans of Syria had Hadad. Originally they were just one storm god named “Baal Hadad” which is strangely similar to Bella Hadid and now I feel uncomfortable. As different cultures claimed different gods, El fell out of the spotlight a bit. Over time, he was replaced by his kids in importance. Many groups even gave his wife Asherah to his sons!
The patron god of the Jewish people was Yahweh, a warrior god. No one is quite sure where “Yahweh” came from, but it is possible that he was brought to the Israel region by a nomadic group called the Shasu, who apparently lived in clusters from the Sinai region into Jordan; the Shasu themselves may have gotten him from some now-lost Egyptian group or else came up with the name themselves. His name is not Hebrew (the “I AM” etymology was retroactively applied to it) nor does it resemble any of the languages spoken in the Canaan region. An inscription written around the 8th century suggests that there were temples to Yahweh not just in Jewish lands, but also in Edom (in Jordan, again perhaps related to the Shasu). It’s unclear if other Canaanite peoples like the Edomites also had Yahweh himself as an important god or if he was considered the same as the Edomite god Qos or what. No one really knows!
Wherever he came from, Yahweh, like Baal and the others, was made a son of the god El. Over the span of centuries, he solidified into the most important god in Israel and Judah; in later years he would be conflated with El and take over his daddy’s old stories. The older portions of the Torah make it clear that in this period, Yahweh was regarded as the patron god of the Jewish people, with other gods being the gods of other people. The monotheistic religion of Judaism did not yet exist.
Traces of this era are still found in some Biblical texts. Take this verse from Deuteronomy, which was likely written after Israel fell but before Judah fell:
When the Most High gave the nations their inheritance, when he divided all mankind, he set up boundaries for the peoples according to the number of the sons of Israel. For the LORD's portion is his people, Jacob his allotted inheritance.
I mean, seems normal and typical of the Bible. Here’s the only issue. The bolded words are not in the original text. What it really says is this (long explanation of how it was changed to “sons of Israel” here):
When Elyon divided the nations, when he separated the sons of Adam, he established the borders of the nations according to the number of the sons of the gods. Yahweh’s portion was his people, Israel his allotted inheritance.
The original text says that El divided the nations and gave each one to one of his sons with Asherah. Ugaritic texts state that there were 70 of them; Yahweh got the Jews. The fact that Yahweh was one among many is the reason why the early Jewish myths, like the creation account, have Yahweh using the pronoun we instead of I, and why the snake tells Adam and Eve that they shall be like gods. This is also seen in the early Psalms, like 82:1, where Yahweh stands among the gods, or 89:6, where Yahweh is praised: who among the sons of El is like him? This happens over and over.
At some point before Jerusalem’s destruction, some movements seem to have sprung up that sought to stop the worship of other gods. You may recall the story of Jezebel, who was a Canaanite woman who was married to the King of Israel and tried to get him to change Israel’s patron god to Baal, like the Canaanites. The people of Israel, led by the priest Elijah, were furious and resisted it. The story’s message is that worship of gods other than Yahweh was not just bad but treasonous, even though other gods were still believed to exist. Historians are doubtful about whether Jezebel was a real person, but the focus on worshiping Yahweh alone was a real historical shift. When the exiles later sat down to put the Bible together, these movements would be seen as prophetic in hindsight, and the fact that people ignored their message would be seen as the reason for the destruction of Judah.
It was also around this time that worship of Asherah began to be frowned upon; the Bible has many commands to stop using “Asherah poles” (it’s believed they were trees or just decorated sticks in tribute of her) and to stop praying to her. She is now almost totally forgotten and unknown by the majority of adherents to Abrahamic religions.
That was the situation at the time of the fall of Jerusalem: other gods were acknowledged and worship of the others hadn’t fully stopped, but Yahweh was the god of the Jewish people, the favored son of El... who was well on his way to becoming El himself.
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sylleboi · 4 years
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𝕬 𝖕𝖗𝖎𝖒𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖊 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖑𝖉
Definition/Understanding → Research → Comparison/Reflection → Narrative & Character
A question that has kept occurring in my head whenever “primitive” has been mentioned is, what exactly is it? What is a primitive world? What makes it primitive- and what does it look like?
When I think of a ‘primitive world’, I immediately start thinking of the early stages of civilisation; primitive civilisation. 
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Source: ScienceDirect.com - International Encyclopedia of the Social & Behavioral Sciences, reference work
In International Encyclopedia of the Social & Behavioral Sciences (Second Edition), 2001, written by Alexander F. Robertson, he describes “Primitive” as following;
“‘Primitive’ is a term from the evolutionary vocabulary of the nineteenth century that in popular understanding still identifies the interests of the modern discipline of anthropology. Anthropologists have sought to come to respectful terms with their ‘Primitive’ subject matter by redefining it in terms of a distinctive social structure, culture, spatial distribution, and type of livelihood. But despite efforts to set aside disparaging contrasts between primitive society and modern civilisation, evolutionary assumptions about human progress remain embedded in both scientific and humanistic approaches to society.”
When reading this, I was intrigued by the idea of how we as a society choose to interpret and understand the word; [primitive]. The way that it’s a modern way of understanding something ancient, as if we are looking back at something through a veil, based on the fact that we are so far and ahead from our ancestors, in an evolutionary sense, that we define them by what tools they used. (ex. stone age)
Further, Alexander F. Robertson also describes “Primitive Society” as such;
“In popular usage, ‘primitive society’ distinguishes ourselves from other people who have made little progress toward what we understand as civilization. There are very few such people left today: they live in scattered communities in deserts or rainforests, and they interest us mainly because we think of them as the living relics of our own distant ancestors. The comparison is usually unflattering. Until the beginning of the nineteenth century ‘primitive’ simply meant ‘first’ or ‘earliest,’ but as the word was applied to the original inhabitants of territories colonised by European and American states, it acquired the connotations of inferior, backward, rude.”
As for when I reflected upon his first quote, this sort of applies to this second quote. I find it incredibly interesting to think about the way in which not only us as the more modern society, but also how the societies prior to ours have interpreted this. The idea of something being the “first” and the “earliest” appearance of mankind; How that later was used against the people, using their way of living as an insult of them being “lesser”.
Early civilisations research:
Identify the variety of early civilisations → Choose two → Time, where, what defined their way of living – remember to add visuals!
With a clearer understanding of what exactly a ’primitive world’ is based upon, I can’t help but want to look into the word “civilisation”. What ancient civilisations exist and what traces of their existence have their left behind?
One of the obvious ones that immediately comes to mind are the Egyptians. They were an ancient civilisation, located in Egypt by the banks of the Nile. Their time of rule being 3150 BC – 30 BC (according to the conventional Egyptian chronology). They are said to have had a political understanding of their society, referred to as “Upper” and “Lower Egypt” under the first pharaoh. Though this was only possible because there were already settlers around the Nile banks and valley around 3500 BC. Their civilisation was rich, well known for their prodigious culture and their architecture, especially the pyramids and Sphinx.
They had a wide variety of things that defined their culture and way of living; this can be seen in the way that they made mummies which preserved ancient pharaohs and other important figures of the time to this very day. Hieroglyphs not only tells stories of their age and time, but also shows how their language was developed and used.
Tutankhamun’s Mask:
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Narmer Palette:
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Another ancient civilisation that came to my mind was the Maya Indians. I have researched them in the past for a written school project, so I already know a good amount about their culture.
The ancient Maya civilisation planted their roots in Central America at around 2600 BC – 900 AD. Once they had established themselves in present-day Yucatan, Mexico, they proceeded to prosper and become a sophisticated folk. By 700 BC, they Mayans had developed their own system of writing which they then used to create calendars of the solar system, all carved into stone. 
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According to the Mayans, the world was created on August 11, 3114 BC (the date of which their calendar begins), and the supposed end date was December 21, 2012.
This ancient civilisation was incredibly rich compared to many other civilisations of the time. They built pyramids, much like the Egyptians, but some of their buildings were even much larger than the pyramids.
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It is still a complete mystery what happened to the Maya Indians. Their population suddenly began to rapidly decline. Why did the Mayans, a highly sophisticated and developed civilisation made up of more than 19 million people, suddenly collapse and disappear during the eighth or ninth century? What happened to them?. Despite this, there are still descendants of the Mayans that live in the central parts of America to this day.
From the last brief, we looked at a lot of narrative based things such as mythologies and folklores. One of the things I stumbled upon was the origin of the myth and folklore about the creature; wendigo. I didn’t further look into this, but this reminded me of it.
The folklore originates from the Native Americans, more specifically the tribe that goes by the name of “Algonquin”. The Algonquin people are natives from Canada and this folk lived and still to this day, live around parts of western Quebec and Ontario, centering themselves around the Ottawa River. Like the Mayans, there are still people identified as having Algonquin ancestry. (from 2016, 40,880 people).
- The Algonquin people have been known by various Europeans since 1603, first encountered by Samuel de Champlain.
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Moose Hunt, artwork by Lewis Parker
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Algonquin Canoe, artwork by Lewis Parker
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Algonquin traditional territory
The Algonquin hunted, traded and lived in large areas of territories in the Eastern Woodlands Subarctic regions, being independent of one another. Like some of their relatives, the Algonquin used to live in disassembled birch bark dwellings, known better as wigwams.
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They lives in communities where clans were represented by totems based on different animals such as crane, wolf, bear, loon etc. The clans had incorporated leadership provided by elders which were highly respected within each clan. Intermarriage within a clan was not permitted, even if the people were from different communities all-together. 
Their language was known as Omàmiwininìmowin, which is part of the Algonquian language family. The root of this word is Omàmiwininì, which is often used by the community to describe Algonquin people overall.
Within the Algonquin language family are a wide variety of different languages such as Atikamekw, Blackfoot, Cree, Wolastoqiyik, Mi’kmaq, Innu, Naskapi, Ojibwe and Oji-Cree. Within all of these mentioned, the Algonquian language group was the language mostly spoken in Canada, with around 175,825 speakers. The majority of these speakers reside in;
Manitoba (21.7%) 
the rest live in; 
Quebec (21.2%)
Ontario (17.2%)
Alberta (16.7%) 
Saskatchewan (16.0%)
Despite the language being quiet widespread amongst the clans/tribes, it is considered endangered today. Only 1,575 people identify the language as their mother tongue. Algonquin communities work hard to promote and preserve their language and culture through various different programs, such as language courses.
The Algonquin language is often linked to different names of places in Canada, with the reason being that many early French explorer mapped and thereby named features with Algonquin words. Ex. Quebec comes from the Algonquin word kébec, which actually means “place where the river narrows”. 
����𝖊𝖓𝖉𝖎𝖌𝖔
The original tale of the wendigo talks about a lost hunter that, during a cold winter, reached intense hunger which drove him to cannibalism to survive. After he had been feasting upon another humans’ flesh, he transformed, his body changing and becoming a humanlike-beast of the wilderness on the hunt for more human flesh to feast upon.
As mentioned earlier, this story originates from the Algonquin people. The details vary rapidly depending on who you ask, as most folklore and tales do. Some people that claim they have encountered this creature say it’s related to Bigfoot, but on the other end of the spectrum, some compare it too werewolves.
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An animatronic depiction of a wendigo in a cage on display in “Wendigo Woods” in Busch Gardens Williamsburg, a theme park located in New France.
The mythological create that is the Wendigo is said to be a creature thriving in cold environments, supporting the fact that most of the many sightings of them have been reported in Canada and also the colder states to the North such as Minnesota. Around the turn of the 20th century, tribes people form the Algonquian tribe claimed that the disappearances of people is down the wendigos’ attacking them.
The wendigo is said to be around 15 feet tall (4.57 m.), the body often described as being skeletal or emaciated. A theory on this says that the creature is never satisfied with its cannibalistic urges and kills, obsessively hunting for new human victims and stuck being forever hungry.
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Picture of Basil H. Johnston.
A Native author and ethnographer named Basil H. Johnston has described the Wendigo in his book The Manitous as:
“The Wendigo was gaunt to the point of emaciation, its desiccated skin pulled tightly over its bones. With its bones pushing out over its skin, its complexion the ash gray of death, and its eyes pushed back deep into the sockets, the Wendigo looked like a gaunt skeleton recently disinterred from the grave. What lips it had were tattered and bloody… Unclean and suffering from suppurations of the flesh, the Wendigo gave off a strange and eerie odor of decay and decomposition, of death and corruption.”
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The front cover of Basil H. Johnstons’ book The Manitous, published 1995.
According to Nathan Carlson, an ethno-historian, it has also been said that the deadly cannibalistic creature has large, razor sharp claws and massive eyes, much like and owl. But some people prefer to describe it (the wendigo) as a skeleton-like with skin in the colour of ash. But no matter which version of the wendigo’s appearance seems the most accurate and possible, it is most obviously not a creature you’d want to run into anywhere in the wild.
Another thing that I found quite interesting about the Native Americans in general was the way that their belief reached a spiritual level (spirit animals, animal totems etc.). I did some digging when looking into Animal Totems and sacred Spirit Animals in Native American belief;
According to this website (Legends Of America, Exploring history, destinations, people, & legends of this great country since 2003.), there is a huge list of different animals involved with the Native belief. A totem (a spirit being) is considered a sacred object or a symbol for a clan, tribe, family or even just an individual. Some tribes and their traditions proves that each person is somehow connected with nine different animals, also known as spirit guides or power animals, that will accompany the person through their life. Each animal represents something different, meaning that they move in and out of ones life, depending on what path or direction you take in life and the journey.
The same tribes also believe that totem animals is one that i always with you in your life, physically and spiritually. In other words, the totem animal that you are given acts as the main guardian of all your spirits. With this animal, a connection is shared and created, either through an interest in the said animal, the characteristics, dreams or other interactions (ie. with the animal in the physical world).
Because the list is quite long, the entirety of it can be found here.
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Restored Piasa Bird carving, located along the Mississippi River, near llinois River.
Sources:
thecanadianencyclopedia.ca “The Canadian Encyclopedia, Algonquin”
allthatsinteresting.com “The Native American Legend Of The Wendigo — The Frostbitten Monster Of Your Nightmares By; All That's Interesting”
legendsofamerica.com “Exploring history, destinations, people, & legends of this great country since 2003.”
From studying these different early periods of civilisation, I have decided to choose just two of them to inspire my diorama; Mayans (the fact and idea that this blossoming civilisation suddenly disappeared without a trace as to tell why) and Native Americans (most specifically the Algonquin tribe and their folklore).
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