#I had it complete ages ago

[add1ctedt0you]

An interesting theme, imo, in mdzs is the sheer tiredness you must feel when dealing with someone who, having been dead for more than a decade, is still the same person as before, while you aren't anymore.

#I don't have seen people dig into it #And it's reasonable #Mdzs has a lot of interesting themes! #Also we don't feel this because in the novel the main couple is building a completely new relationship #While the only person still alive with whom wwx had a relationship in the past isn't there a lot. So #I realized it while writing this wq fic. And now she meets wwx #And into my mind he tries to recreate the same dynamic as before. But wq just looks at him. Because now she is almost 40 #(kinda?? Age in mdzs is nothing but I like old women) #Anyway she isn't the same as 13 years ago #While for wwx isn't much long. For him from the burial mounds at best are 6 months #I am not making sense. sigh #But if I had a bestie in a come. Then they woke up and tried to do the same jokes I would blink and not even laugh #Because I've changed #It's fucking sad #For everyone

[tariah23]

This is such a harmful sentiment to push considering that you don’t necessarily have to be “attractive,” (beauty is subjective, yada yada) in order for men to want to harm you in the slightest… like man, what…

#the lady talks about being followed and harassed and so on as if every woman and girl in the world regardless of their age and #‘good looks’ #hasn’t experienced this and will continue to #I hate when these girls especially ones who are conveniently attractive talk about stuff like this under the guise of speaking for all #women while x-ing out most women #this easily leads into the realm of ‘you’re too ugly/fat to be assaulted ANYWAY-‘ #talk that I see spread by misogynists and bird brained women like it’s such a natural thing to even say it’s actually rly scary #especially when it comes to the assault shit which is usually about power and control anyway #they don’t care what you look like #you could be covered up head to toe and someone would try to hurt you just because #I hate when women like this go online thinking that they said something open their mouths I really do #rambling #tw assault #got dudes in the comments going ‘she’s not even pretty anyway she’s like a 4 out of 10’ #completely missing the message (as if they care) and see #these are the kinds of people that stuff like this attracts #stuff like this coming out of a woman’s mouth especially is so dangerous #I don’t think I’m the most good looking person in the world and I’ve been followed sm times I had to run away from a guy once and luckily #my bus was right fucking there!!! #then the guy who was harassing me years ago at a bus stop and forced me to hug him and touched my butt and no one else was around to help #me… #and he kept on trying to get me to go back to his apartment around the corner like that was so #the man who followed me into the store as I was shopping and I noticed that he kept on staring at me #then tried to holla and he looked way older than me and I think he was a pastor or something too he had a nice car and tried to get me to #come with him #sm more incidents over the years like this is crazy pls don’t say stuff like this and act like it’s normal #someone in the comments said that people like the woman in the video think that being pretty will free them from the patriarchy and like… #YEAH 😭 #it’s so obvious too lmfao #these be the same women calling themselves ‘girls girls’’

[sirguyofdykesborn]

tjis image doesn't fit anywhere so let it be here. alone in the darkness. helpless and scared

#also i finished my uhh 4th dai replay like a month ago and accidentally made vivienne the pope. #and then my pc died and i had to rewrite one of the discs completely obliterating everything on it. dai survived somehow. saves perished #dragon age #vivienne de fer #sivis bald head inquisitor you will always be famous #← decided that it's what her tag will be #dragon age inquisition #art tag

[good-beanswrites]

And here's one with Weak for Fuuta and Amane, for anon! I've recently been going crazy over some ideas from posts about Fuuta and food and he and Amane's relationship, and they came together perfectly with the prompt -- thank you for the request 👀👀👀

“Can you be quiet for one minute?” 

Fuuta spun around from where he’d been complaining loudly about the food, with his mouth full of it, to find Amane glaring from beside him.

“I’ll do whatever the hell I want,” he said through bites. He paused to swallow, though. And take a sip of his drink. And then forgot was he was talking about anyway.

Amane returned to mouthing a blessing over her food. The annoyance in her expression melted away to serenity as she brought her hands together. Fuuta watched as she drew herself up. Then she ate calmly. He could have crumbled in shame, right then, at the thought of this tiny kid holding up better than himself. 

She, too, had experienced the punishments that came with their verdict. Restraints pulled so tight it’s hard to breathe. Long nights of maddening voices and watchful eyes. The smaller meal portions leading to shaky limbs. Fuuta spent every meal inhaling as much as he could as soon as he could -- and here Amane sat as if she had a perfectly content stomach. Through everything, she maintained her strong gaze and commanding voice.

Fuuta reminded himself she did have a few advantages over him. She still had all her eyes and ribs intact, for one. It was difficult to give someone a convincing stinkeye with only one eye.

While he continued shoveling down his meal, he noticed her separating things on her plate. The meat in the corner went completely untouched. 

The aforementioned treatment had made him irritable -- more irritable than usual, that is -- and he jabbed his utensils at her. “Hey, we talked about this. Eat your fucking meat. I’ve been eating my vegetables, yeah?” Not that he wanted to. He would have eaten just about anything they put in front of him if it kept the gnawing hunger at bay.

“It’s against my beliefs,” she said simply. 

“I thought suicide was, too.”

She raised her chin. “I’ve known plenty who have fasted and become stronger for it. This is nothing drastic.”

Fuuta grit his teeth. He’d witnessed his fair share of internet-goers who acted cruel about another’s religion. He wasn’t about to join them in being some piece of shit who forced her to do something that was against her code. But there was no way he was going to sit around and watch her starve herself, either.

He couldn’t blame Amane for how harshly she’d refused help from the others -- they coddled her, encouraging her with sweet talk, or tried an insufferable stern parental tone. Fuuta wasn’t cut out for any of those methods, anyway. What he did know how to do, however, was make threats. 

Even if Amane didn’t fear death, he knew there was one situation she would do absolutely anything to avoid. 

“Oi, if you get any weaker, Shidou’s gonna step in.” Her frown twitched. “He’s already harassed me and Mahiru about our meals. He saw my hand shake one time and hasn't stopped hounding me about it since. The minute he can tell you’re not eating enough, he’ll be all over you. And let me tell you, you’re not very subtle about it.” 

The final statement came out with more bite than intended. Maybe he was bitter that she was at least more subtle than him. Maybe he thought it was fucked up the way she, too, had grown visibly weaker. Maybe he was just hungry and tired of talking. He attacked another mouthful of food. 

Amane was searching her plate as if the answer could be found there. There was a long silence as she contemplated. Fuuta had thought he’d won until she shook her head. “No. I can’t.”

He rolled his eyes and head in an over dramatic show of exasperation. “So stubborn!”  When he was done chewing, he picked up his plate. “Fine.” He gathered up all that was left, dumping it onto hers with a flick. 

A fire ignited in her gaze. She shoved the dish away. “I’m not some weak child to be pitied.”

“Wha–? It’s not pity!”

“You think I’m weak.”

“I think you’re hungry!”

“You don’t know anything!”

Mikoto passed by, chuckling as they raised their voices. “Look at you two hotheaded kids. Do I need to break it up?”

“Go away!” they chorused.

“Alright, sheesh…” He kept walking, leaving the pair to stew in silence. 

Fuuta didn’t have it in him to fight today. He was tired. He ached all over. If she wasn’t going to appreciate his help, so be it. He was starting to get used to his good intentions being taken the wrong way. It looked like he was just the weak one, after all. He grabbed his empty plate and stood to leave.

“Fuuta.” Amane took a deep breath. “I am hungry.” She gestured for him to come back. Then she moved the meat from her plate onto his.

He eyed the offering, hoping his expression didn’t betray how desperately he wanted to scoff it down. “I’m not some asshole who’s gonna take your food.”

“You’re not taking it. I’m giving it. I would have thrown it out otherwise.” Amane picked up some of the vegetables. “In return, I will eat this. We both must stay strong for the ordeals ahead.”

After a moment of hesitation, Fuuta sat back down. He took a bite. Neither said a proper thank you. Neither needed one.

He glanced to Amane with a smirk. “Good. This way, we’ll both keep that geezer Shidou away.”

It was only for a moment, but for the first time since the second trial began, Fuuta could have sworn her lips slipped into a small smile. 

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #amane momose #oh yeah it also references that minigram/timeline about her not eating meat and him not finishing his vegetables #the fuuta/food one was from a bit ago but its been in my head again after his timeline convo making sure haruka was eating #thank you for the request ahh this was so much fun :D #ive had so many amane thoughts with purge march coming up - and its always a good day to get emotional over fuuta dsfdsfds #i always thought their timelines were really interesting with how calm she is and how completely wracked with anxiety he is #i think hed be pretty aware and ashamed of that #rip mikoto but i needed to show that they find kinship in being treated younger than they want because of their age+attitude 😂 #i picture a very sibling relationship for them #you dont really coddle your younger siblings the same you would with other kids #so they have a lot of respect and also frustration towards each other... #i actually think fuuta has a lot of respect for shidou too but can lean into his annoyance for amanes sake #ahh ty and i hope you enjoyed! #like i said this one was a lot of fun to write omg #drabbles

[sysig]

Last man standing (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #It's lonely at the top :( #Poor dearest is worse for wear ah </3 #This scene made me cry ;; #Like it was sad when he wrote down his missing canonmates but going back in and writing everyone else's names ;;;; #Even his shaky alliances! Even the people he hasn't seen for a while!! Wehhh <3 <3 <3 #You soft heart ;; I see you Admiral ♥ #Also had a lot of fun writing in VUK ZIX again hehe ♪ #The translations from VUK ZIX to English aren't exact - for starters they're upside down haha #So if you started from the top down it would actually read KINLEZ NATPAK but I figured that wouldn't be as readable #You read from the bottom up! I also still headcanon it being written/read from left to right #So he started with Zelnick then Fwiffo then Tanaka and so on #Although I did change it up for the second one - Teisel then Xelloss then Xigbar then Asch and Van #The more I think of it the more I'm surprised there's no H :0 #Even just as a demarcation of a pause before during or after a syllable #The ''sh'' sound makes complete sense tho hehe <3 #Any incorrect shaping of letters/poor handwriting on my part can totally be chalked up to ZEX not being used to human hands! #Totallyyy lol #I really like the way specific syllables are shaped - like how Teisel and Zelnick almost share the same shaped between ''SEL'' and ''ZEL'' #How Z is a more connected extension of S just agh it's so pretty <3 <3 Eco_Mono really did such a lovely job with it ♪ #And then certain ''incorrectly'' spelled syllables still turned out so pretty! Like the ''ANA'' in Talana - look how swoopy and continuous! #The ''BAR'' in Xigbar looks really cool - honestly reminds me of the fanweapons I made ages ago for I? think? Xigbar's apprentice?? #It's been too long I don't remember now lol but it's cool to me in particular because of that!! :D #Fwiffo looks so funny haha - Tanaka has a cool star-like kind of letter in his name?? Man it's just so neat <3 #As for ZEX - I mean he made it this far :( Not one to give up easily that's for certain ♥ Tenacious #I want him to be happy :'0

[likegoldintheair]

it's crazy to see a fandom basically crash and burn in a matter of months

#and yes i know there's still people there who aren't completely batshit #but man. it must be so tiresome #for everyone involved #but also. it's not even about that #i feel like the fun got sucked out of it ages ago #people stopped writing fics or creating art because they were treated as content creators #rather than as people (period) #and there were so many instances where it felt like you couldn't say what you wanted or express an opinion #because you'd get burnt at the stake if it didn't line up with what a certain group of people thought #it also annoyed the fuck out of me the way people were throwing around media literacy and how people who had different INTERPRETATIONS #were media illiterate or idiots or 'didn't know the source material' #fucking assholes all over the place let's be honest #i hate that a few people ruined the fun for me (and apparently for a bunch of other people as well)

[jacobglaser]

Oh man, I know I lost all interest in ofmd (for reasons I'm still not sure of myself), but this sucks ass for everyone involved.

#i had a feeling this might happen tbh. i read something ages ago about how streamers usually cancel shows after 2 seasons cos of #contract bullshit so thats always in the back of my mind when shows reach that point #i feel bad for the cast and crew. i hope another service maybe picks it up for the last season but i doubt it #i cant remember the last time that happened? maybe lucifer? and that felt like a once in a lifetime win in a completely different tv climate #anyway im sure the discourse on here is going to be super fun for the next few days so im off ✌️ #ofmd

[ssiegfriedsystem]

「A hundred years had passed. So, so much has changed in the world, but not as much to Kazukiー

And the golden vestiges of someone still donning an all too familiar scar, smiling on the back of his mind.」

#read tags #given how kazuki is...well he is immortal #i kinda wonder what would happen a long time after the post-series #100 years immediately popped to my head because i was listening to lyrico's kiseki no hana #everyone he knew on the island would be dead #:( #idk if kouyou is still alive #i mean most likely yeah but im not sure if he has the same blessing of eternity like kazuki #would make me fucking emotional if he doesnt #of course there are the mir children/core that keeps being born again over and over but theyre never the same person. yk #what if tatsumiya ended up sinking forever for good in the future #back to kazuki he probably had stopped aging and stuff like that (but still grows. aging =/= growing guys) #so he remained pretty much similar to how he look 100 years ago. just longer hair #i like to think he decides to grow out his hair so he keeps remembering soushi #soushi is technically still there in a way because he stays in kazukis memories #as sad as it is #bro im gonna fucking cry what if kazuki gradually forgets soushi #not in a moving on way but in a its been so long that his memories of him starts to slowly fade way #in the angstier scenario he starts forgetting soushi to the point of almost forgetting him completely #and hes traveling the world all alone again #for eternity... #(this considering kouyou doesn't have the eternity blessing) #FUCKING BAWLING #soukyuu no fafner #makabe kazuki #minashiro soushi #soukazu

[hooved]

picked out what kandi (+ other bracelets) i wanna wear to the rave i'm going to on friday and took some quick shitty pictures with flash because the lighting in my room sucks

#there's more i would've loved to include but unfortunately so much of my kandi has fallen apart due to age :( #like 95% of my kandi are from raves i went to like 10-15 years ago #i still have pictures of all of them somewhere tho and i've saved all the loose beads in little bags #so hopefully i can put them back together someday #i did re-string some of the ones in these pictures just a little while ago tho ! luckily they hadn't completely fallen apart yet #oh also the one with the letter beads says ''fuckable'' lmao. it's one of my absolute favorites #anyway i'm excited :) i haven't been to a rave since 2018. and it had been a few years since the last one i went to before that one too

[jinx-you-owe-me]

PART 17

of the dfk audiobook translation

@cnka

Bökh: „Over 20 years ago, there was also a boarding school here, as you might know. And there were teachers that were good and others that were less good. And there were Externs and Internals. And there was a boy who was as homesick as you, Uli. And who read as much as Martina. Loved cake like Matze. And wanted to become a pop star, like you, Jo. And he had an enemy. His name was Robert. He was an Extern from the town here. And although this Robert seemed the have everything the boy wanted, he still picked on him. Pushed him around and made fun of him… Well, like the Externs have done with the Internals for generations, right.“

Jo: „And vice versa.“ Bökh: „Exactly. And vice versa.“ Bökh: „…yes. And one day, the boy’s mother got sick. She was brought here to Kirchberg into the hospital and the boy snuck away from the boarding school every day to visit her. And one day he was caught by the boarding school director. And he got grounded.“

Martina: „Couldn’t he just say what was up?“ Bökh: „No, because it was a very… cold and stern man whom he didn’t trust. And Robert in turn knew from his father, who was a doctor at the hospital, that the boy’s mother was fighting for her life there. So he offered his help."

Bökh: „And so every night he layed in the boarding school bed in place of the boy. So that he could visit his mother. And then they became really good friends. Even had a band together. They weren’t all that bad.“ (sighs) Bökh: „I certainly don’t need to tell you who this boy was, right?" All of the kids in unison: „You, Herr Bökh.“ Bökh: „Exactly. And why I’m telling you this story.“ Uli: „I think I understand it.“

Matze: „So we get Chips and Lemonade?“

(chuckling)

Jo: „The Externs today aren’t like that.“ Bökh: „Jo, I obviously care about two things. Firstly; rules are well and good, but not as important as humanity. Ok? And secondly I want you to trust me, that you’re not afraid to come to me. Okay?“

The kids nod.

Bökh looks at his watch.

Bökh: „Alright. I need to get a bit of work done now.“ Martina: „But what happened to Robert?“

Bökh slumps back in his seat with a heavy sigh.

Bökh: „Ach. Robert, he… I think he later studied medicine in the city. Ah, we unfortunately lost touch.“

Jo: „Why?“ Bökh: „… Well, that- That happens sometimes when you become an adult, then… suddenly, your closed loved ones are gone.“ Jo: „… What, just like that?“

Bökh nods silently.

Bökh: „… Mhm.“ Matze: „How sad… I think friends should always stick together.“ Bökh: „Yeah, exactly.“ Jo: „Can’t you prevent that somehow?“ Bökh: „Yes. We need to look out for each other. Ok?“ Bökh: „Alright. I need to get a bit of work done now. Take your lemonades with you.“

The kids scuffle and stand up. Jo takes a bowl of chips with her as well.

Uli: „Thank you."

#das fliegende klassenzimmer #dfk 2023 audiobook translation #das fliegende klassenzimmer 2023 #dfk #tbh im confused by the twenty year thing #cause tom schilling and trystan pütter are both in their 40s #so if the characters are the same ages they wouldnt have been in school 20 years ago?? #mine #ok i tried to limit the pictures so it offers a bit of atmosphere or paragraph breaks #but i felt like bökh's expressions when talking about robert were Significant so i had to include them #sorry #i honestly cant talk about it here cause you dont know roberts version of the story yet but holy shit do i have thoughts #regarding how justus talks about their falling out #im gonna keep my mouth shut. #we'll get there in part 19 and 20 and 22 #but it is so hard #OH WAIT i completely forgot to talk about that walking contradiction of a man #'rules are well and good but not as important as humanity' arent you the same guy who said #'im a bit special when it comes to punctuality. rules apply to everyone!' #in general “rules apply to everyone!” is something justus would never say #tell me you dont understand a character in one sentence #does it show that i add these tags over time? #anyway. i think this part is ready to be queued

[incidentalblr]

i just remembered that the most common background pairing for skephalo fics used to be dream6d no one fucking talk to me this shit is crazy

#talk about aging like milk. jesus. #i had completely forgotten this information until i mentioned it to someone and then i was like wait PAUSE. #sometimes i’m like “there’s no way 2020 was 3 years ago. yes dent there was’’

[kirby-the-gorb]

#kirby #hlvrai #daily kirby #my art #digital #hal laboratory #nintendo #poyo gordon! #(someone made this joke when I drew kirby in tommy's hat ages ago but I don't remember who) #(I'm actually also a writer - I used to write practically nonstop from middle school to college) #(then I took a couple years off) #(for like life reasons) #(then I gave myself like a 'get into the swing of things' project where I had to put out a chapter a week but that wasn't very fun) #(so once it was done I decided to only write when I feel like writing) #(which isn't super often! but that's also perfectly fine!) #(I like having a completely zero obligation outlet) #(I like drawing and crocheting and I do them cuz I like them) #(but I do have a little obligation to like. finish projects and post on time and stuff.) #(but I'm the only one who cares about my writing and that's a good thing) #(I finally got another thousand words down in an hlvrai fic I hadn't touched in 16 months) #(as well as rereading what I'd already gotten down before to smooth any continuity errors) #(I like what I have! the title of the word document is 'mom said it's my turn to project on gordon' lol) #(I've got a ton of other projects I'd like to work on someday) #(my brother accidentally dragged me into thinking about matt from death note again for example) #(I needed to reread death note for a really silly crackfic anyway) #(altho I guess my video editing is also 100% for me with no obligation since no one cares about that either lol) #(whatever the point is 1 I wrote some today and 2 it's good to have a hobby that's entirely just for you whether you share it or not) #(like I do post my fic when it's done I just have no investment whatsoever in anyone else ever seeing it)

[scrawnytreedemon]

Is it so bad that I don't really like ships of characters I simp and I only like the reader insert fics with them?

Yeah I can't deny I'm jealous of the canon x canon ships with my faves, knowing that they possibly can be together while I can't. I know it's dumb,so that's why I never hate on someone who likes those ships I just ignore it

Like Sefikura for example, I don't like it cuz I'm a massive hoe for Sephiroth,also bcuz sometimes they make the ship pretty icky,also bcuz Cloud is baby and I'm still angy at Sephy for mentally torturing my Babyboy like that

IT'S CHAOS WITH MY FICTIONAL FAVES!!!!!!

Nothing wrong with that, personally! I get wanting to indulge in the warmth of a good fantasy-- That is what alot of fiction is for, after all.

Bless you, anon. Alas, as someone also plagued with my own Dumb and Horrid Fictional Feelings, the brain can be such a little bitch when it comes to that stuff. Good on you for recognising how and why you feel that way, ignoring the stuff you don't like and focusing on what you do.

LMAO I get that completely. I should mention, though, that I am one of those people who indulges in the nastier side of the ship, lmaooo. Even so, I get why it wouldn't click with you.

(FR when is it not?)

#scrawny rambles #scrawny answers #ty for your letter anon <3 #completely different tangent aside from yours #very introspective stuff ahead feel free to ignore you know the deal #i have alot of respect for selfshippers #considering my sisters kicked me out of the habit very early on and i've been Mortified ever since #but man... i think if i want an reader!fic i can jive with i'd have to write my own #once again no shade to the writers you guys keep living it up #but alot of it ends up being 'i would NOT say that' for mehgkjfgdjh #GOD i remember this ghirahimxreader fic i read ages ago #and at some point y/n's parents show up as yiga #and i'm like. what father. I HAVE NO FATHER. or i have two. it fucking depends. both absent either way. #POINT IS i think there are alot of ways my life and cultural experiences differ that if anything makes it *harder* for me to be immersed #also the Shame. but i think that can be overcome. spite my siblings lmaooo. #again anon entirely different thread from yours #just plopping some thoughts here i've had for awhile

[boneskullravenriver]

Reading that one scene in chapter 17 of Dark Age. Not liking the vibes. Not liking the vibes at all. I forgor how brutal this shit can get. First time I read this book a few years ago I remembered I had to close the book because I was so distressed.

#darrow of lykos #darrow au andromedus #red rising saga #red rising series #red rising trilogy #red rising #dark age #rereading dark age #there's just something so incredibly fucked about 'they lift me as if i were a Red again' #he has not lived as a Red for a very long while. And for him to briefly end up back in that headspace wherein he feels completely powerless #like he had felt all those years ago just... wow. wow. ouch ouch ouch

[soldier-poet-king]

Anyway made soup. Finished that indulgent awful YA read. Slowly learning that I can write reviews of things that are critical and the world won't end and I'm not going to cause people to die or something unspeakably horrible to happen just because I was "mean". Etc etc etc

MAYBE it'll be ok

#franposting #anyway yeah my ocd has this connection #that says if im critical of something. not even mean. just critical #someone will die/theyll be an accident/etc etc etc #all this because my ocd got really bad when i wrote a supportive but critical review of a prof #on those anonymous end of term things #and then she DIED a year later of cancer #and i was convinced her cancer came back bc of me #I genuinely believed it for years. i cried. i missed so much class. i was responsible for this womans death #anyway that was eons ago. 2nd year undergrad. #but i lived with that guilt for ages #i had ocd before then. but never so obvious. never for such a ridiculous clearly untrue fact #and then it spiralled into my every action causing world disasters and deaths #so yknow. #yes i AM a little insane on my bad days #i mean in full seriousness. i believe im responsible for completely reprehensible things when in an ocd spiral #and i live in fear!!! #but maybe it is getting better. maybe kt is getting easier #i was able to say hey this book was poorly written and plotted but it was indulgent and fun while still being bad #i didn't say it was good i said i was entertained type scenario #to be clear. i can HAVE mean or critical opinions in my head. bad things only happen when i express them publicly

[needylittlegirl]

now i have not ever been in labor before but i genuinely think im experiencing pains at the same or very close level which is crazy

#mytxt #i mean like #i always see people w endo saying theyd rather go through childbirth again instead of the endo pains #but you don’t really. Think about it like that #like yeah sure anyone can say that but you dont really conceptualize it until you’re experiencing it #like almost every month i have to experience pains that ppl describe as worse than childbirth??? thats crazy #luckily i dont have it every month cause of birth control but its kind of starting to be every other month #its just wild to think about and also awful to experience #and i completely forgot that its a Progressive thing. it gradually gets worse #because scar tissue builds and stuff i didnt even think abt that #til a few weeks ago when i saw my doc and she said yeah this is age is usually when it worsens for awhile #which. Yeah the last like 3 or 4 times have been insanely bad #it also doesnt help that one of those times my iud had screwed me over and tore a little hole but #still #idk #im trying to override my pain but thinking about how medically interesting it is #bc thats what i do with everything else i just go well if i think about it from a medical standpoint its not that bad! #thats how i get through most of my doc appointments #and i think thats why a lot of doctors dont really believe or realize how drastic a lot of things can be #bc theyre thinking about it medically and not like its a real person #sorry for rambljng im having so many thoughts #tbd