#I had this dialog cooking in my mind for a good while

[unseelie-robynx]

Red’s Re-awakening: The End of Hope

Right, this is a Massive thing that came out of the Tyrant Prince AU, that me and @vegalocity cooked up. I highly recommend reading the Oblivion Fic’s that spawned it if you haven’t already. If you have This Breakdown, and This Image, are also awesome and context for this AU.

This monstrosity is a what if of the Rebelion waking up Red Son, him NOT being happy about that, and the fallout there off. It was meant to be a quick thing but then I started writing dialog and scenes and it turned into this.

Enjoy.

(also yes. Yes that title is what I have it saved under in my drafts)

The premise of this is that the Rebellion got the Counter track to the Oblivion Mind Control to work, and had been testing it. But for some reason they decided they needed a like, ultimate test, and they had Macaque slip into Red Son's room (shadow magic) and this little barely any sound speaker so when he was there alone while the Prince was out it could work on him. and it was a slow thing, unraveling everything but not removing it till all of a sudden, all the strands of oblivion fell away and Red was pissed but also distraught because this is the 2nd time he’s woken up. He starts to think that maybe there’s something wrong with him. That he’s broken because he keeps breaking out of Oblivion and he hates it. What if this keep happening? He almost runs to his Husband (is he still allowed to think of Xiaotian as his Husband if he can’t even manage to stay as a Good Wife?) but then he hears a faint humming sound.

He goes hunting, finds the tiny little player, almost destroys it in his anger but manages to calm himself with the reason that his Husband will need knowledge of what this is and how it works and how it got there. Because... because if this somehow got him awake, who knows what havoc it will reap on Xiaotian’s perfect city? He can’t allow that. He pulls the thing apart, gets the small data card with the track on it, and starts going over it on the computer. It makes him sick b/c… this is really good. It must have taken ages to put together, and it somehow works to completely counter act the frequencies of basically all of the various Oblivion tracks. (The only one it doesn’t seem to have a perfect counter for is the file that only has 1 copy and is hidden away so deeply that Red Son almost can’t get to it. Xiaotian’s file. Something about the specific frequency that works on his hybridized mind doesn’t fit well with any other track they’ve made. And Red Son is so grateful because he didn’t know what he would do if his beloved had woken up. It… if Red Son couldn’t bring himself to have Xiaotian, the old one who didn’t see how useful Oblivion could be in helping people, face things… Red Son would have personally cooked alive anyone who made his Husband break the way Red was terrified he might. He didn’t know that Xiaotian was awake, that he had been for a while. He would have felt so much better if he knew) So then he had the problem of how it got into his room because he knows he might as well be the most well protected person in the city. You don’t just get into his personal rooms, (attached and off to the side of his Husbands of course) It would have to have been someone with access to the palace, and someone with the ability to move about undetected. They would also have to somehow be able to trick them all into thinking he was properly under Oblivion, while somehow being… immune? Or maybe using this thing to stay on top of it? There’s only one person that comes to mind that might even be remotely capable of pulling it off and... yep. A magical energy spell later, and he’s picked up Macaque’s shadow magic. (It took time though, it was hidden really well. If he hadn’t been looking specifically for his uncle’s magic, he never would have found it) and now he had to figure out what to do because… this is BIG. Macaque doesn’t have the technical knowledge to work out something like this, so he had help, and also is probably a spy, and they would have somehow had to get a hold of not only Oblivion, but multiple people to test this on to get it to this point.

Red Son wants to run to Xiaotian and be put back under, he chose to be Wife damn it, but he knows he can’t. This is too big, too dangerous. And they wanted to wake Red Son up for a reason. If this uprising has a spy, then he will have to become one back.

Once he gets his Husband’s permission.

Which means he’s going to have to tell Xiaotian that he’s woken up, and he realy doesn’t want to face the disappointment and probably guilt that Xiaotian will have when he realizes that he isn’t Wife anymore.

So he spends the day making a plan, their normal lunch together rolls around and Red Son thinks he does a good job of convincing Xiaotian that things are ok, but he asks if his husband would spend time with him tonight, just the two of them.(he’s also careful never to make eye contact for too long) Xiaotian agrees of course, and he realizes that something’s off, but he knows his Wife will tell him later and then he can fix it for Red Son.

Then it was evening, and Xiaotian was being gently pulled into Red’s side chambers to sit on the (almost completely unused) bed before Red Son climbed into his lap and buried his head in his neck. He didn’t want to do this. He really didn’t but… But he needed to. He would be good and useful to Xiaotian, and they would take care of this problem once and for all and then he could slip right back into being Wife and everything would be ok again.

“Red, baby, what’s wrong?”

Why was he calling him Red? Xiaotian always called him “Wife” and.. oh. There was the memory, Xiaotian just told Red Son to translate everything into Wife, which was kind of him. Wife was his preferred name after all.

“I…” how was he supposed to do this? “Will you promise me that you will listen to everything I have to say before you do anything?”

“Of course. If that’s what you need. Please love, tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it for you.”

And OH Red Son loved Xiaotian. How compassionate he was and so immediately willing to help. That made what he had to do even worse.

“I.” deep breath, the lighting and wind and spice scent of his Prince helping to ground him. “Something bad happened this morning. And it’s… it’s a bigger problem than just the immediate effects. I’ve worked out a few theories on who did it, and possible how to stop it but… but right now I…”

He couldn’t get himself to say it out loud, so instead he tilted his slightly teary eyes up at Xiaotian.

Red Son was looking up though his lashes, the way he had found he proffered. It made him feel like he was looking up at Xiaotian. (He figures, now that he’s thinking, that a part of him never got over the feeling of sitting at the base of the DJ stand and looking up at the Clone, even if his Husband was superior to it in every way. He almost wonders what happened to the clone and then decide, who cared? Not him)

It takes a conscious effort to look Xiaotian properly in the eyes. To let his beloved cradle his face as he searches if for a sign as to what Red Son means.

There’s a sharp intake of breath and Red Son knows Xiaotian’s seen the truth. His Husband loved observing the levels of light in people eyes through the stages of Oblivion. He could see that Red Son wasn’t Wife anymore.

It was an instinctive movement to bury his head back into Xiaotian’s neck, trembling.

“Who did this?” And that’s rage in his beloved’s voice. Rage on his behalf and Red Son didn’t think he could be more in love, but he is now.

“You promised.” He whispers into Xiaotian’s shoulder and waits for the other settle back down. Once he has… “Macaque. He got into my room and left a… a speaker with a track on it. One that… that pulled apart my Oblivion. But… but it’s bigger than just him. I analyzed the track and it’s... dangerously well made. It could rip Oblivion away from everyone in the city. I think… I think I might have been their final test subject. The only thing I can find that’s good is that it takes time to work, I don’t know how long it’s been in my room, but the traces of shadow magic I found were old. Whoever did this will likely be working on speeding it up now, and we have to find them. What it would take to... to make something like that is… it’s big and…” Deep breath, keep going, you can do this. You have to do this.

“I think it’s the spider clan, or at least, they’re one of the main people in what is probably a full terrorist group. They would have had to get a hold of Oblivion, and sending Huntsman… then he vanished, which was probably them taking him back to test things on. This is big and we need information, and they did this to me for a reason and—”

he was starting to hyperventilate a little bit.

He didn’t want to do this.

He had to.

“And Macaque is their spy, and you need your own. I… I love you. I love you so much but it’s not enough because Wife can love you so completely there’s not room for anything else and I want that, but we have to stop this because otherwise they could ruin everything and that means I can’t be Wife until we do, and I don’t want to, but I can’t see another way and—”

And Xiaotian was kissing him. And then he was pulling away and gently kissing away the tears Red Son didn’t realize he had let free. (Just more proof he was broken now. Xiaotian hadn’t told him to cry. He was only supposed to cry if his Husband wanted to see it)

“Shhh it’s ok Red Son, my beautiful wonderful perfect wife. It’s ok. We’ll take care of this. We’ll stop them and then I will make them hurt for taking your Bliss away from you. You’re going to be so brave and strong for me, and then once it’s all over I can wrap you back up in Wife and you can forget any of it ever even happened if you want to. Anything you ask afterwards is yours ok, love. Hush now, it’s ok. I know it hurts; you shouldn’t have to suffer like this. It hurts me to see you like this. Your love is enough Red, it’s not the same as Wife’s but it’s enough. You’re so good for me, me wonderful, sweet consort. My perfect clever wife. Shhh, hush. I’m here. It’s going to be ok.”

And Red Son let himself collapse into tears and into his Husbands comforting embrace.

 ----------------------------------------------------------

And then they like, plan stuff out. Xiaotian gets to work trying to reverse engineer the reverse engineered Track, and Red Son sets up his plan to trick Macaque. Then in a few days when SWK comes by, and brings Macaque of course, they spring it.

 Macaque has like, slipped into Red’s room again. To check on the speaker (which Red put back together and put back so it looks like he never found it) and to check on Red Son. They’re starting to get worried about how long it’s taking to work. Worried that it’s not strong enough or that there really is a “point of no return” as it were.

He hears Red Son come in and hides in the shadows, only to be shocked as Red Son closes the door with shaking hands before collapsing onto the ground, apparently fighting back sobs.

Red Son all but rips his dress off (it was one of his least favorites and he had worn it for this exact purpose, but he’s still upset by how he knows the seams and fabric are going to be messed up from the violent treatment) he’s shaking and clawing at his head (And he hopes he can trick Macaque into thinking it’s with fear instead of rage)

And then Macaque’s there, trying to calm him down and Red Son ‘freaks out’ b/c “No! nononono no! he’s like them, he’s going to hand him back over and then the, the noodle boy (and Red Son had needed to practice saying that over and over again until he could get the whole thing out and even now it makes him feel sick to be so disrespectful to his lover) is going to.. to turn him back into that and…”

And it’s the noodle boy comment that cements for Macaque that, holly shit this is Red Son. The real Red Son. And he manages to ‘convince’ Red that he’s not being controlled and that he’s going to help him. That they’re going to help everyone.

And then unspecified meeting and shenanigans as Red Son works to convince Macaque to trust him, and Macaque gets permission to bring Red in on more plans and help them.

At some point Macaque presses Red Son for what he remembers about how this whole thing started. Red Son has his lies worked out but he’s still nervous about his delivery.

He had been investigating rumors on a powerful artifact for his parents. He found it. He also found the demon in possession of it. He was under before he even realized it. The demon, who Red Son told Macaque he had a hard time remembering clearly (A lie, awake he could clearly remember the Clone who had showed him his first taste of Bliss), so he wasn’t sure who, or even what kind of demon, it was. He thinks that originally the demon wanted to keep him around as a bodyguard because he was worried about his operation getting found out by the ‘Monkey Kid’ who had been dealing with demons. Which would have been the end of it, except when the demon was drilling him for information about his family, and his plans, it had been slipped that he had… affection for the monkey kid. (Red Son almost bit his lip to bleeding in self-punishment when he said that. He loved Xiaotian. Do downgrade if feelings felt like slapping his beloved in the face) That was when the demon got a new idea. He decided to turn Red Son into a “gift” for the Monkey Kid, so he’d leave him alone. That… didn’t really work out the way he wanted it to. Xiaotian had been furious about what had happened to Red Son. So, the demon had… had ordered Red Son to subdue him until the demon put him under to. (How could he have done that? How could he have gone against Xiaotian like that? He should tell him. But then it would hurt him and how could Red Son ever admit to his transgression?) Xiaotian had been put under and forced to agree with the demon’s plan and then to forget about the demon entirely. He took Red Son away and... and…

 Red Son let himself just descended into trembles and choked off sounds. He had no intention of lie about how wonderfully happy he had been belonging to his Husband, even before Xiaotian decided to allow him to be Wife. He let Macaque make the assumption that he couldn’t bring himself to talk about it for painful reasons, and even that made him want to hiss.

 -------------------------

Another incident happened later. Macaque and the others seemed to be getting suspicious about progress maybe? Or maybe it was just that Red Son was getting frustrated with the lack of trust and access to the actual plans/ base / real knowledge of the terrorists. (Well Macaque called them a rebellion, acted like they were doing something good but Red Son knew better.) So, he needed to up his story, up the faith Macaque and through him the other had about his hatred of Xiaotian and loyalty to them.

He got his chance when SWK brought PIF with him and Macaque on a visit to the city. (And it… it did hurt somewhat. To see his Mother looking so… broken. To see the proud woman so withdrawn and quiet. To have her look right at him and see no recognition in her eyes. He… she had never been the best mother, but she had been his. But… Xiaotian didn’t like sharing him with others, and to be honest Red Son didn’t much like being shared so… This was for the best. It was. What had happened to his father had been… tragic. But with Oblivion she could move on and realy Wife didn’t have any room inside them for anyone but Xiaotian what with how much Wife loved his Husband. And Red Son still so desperately wanted to go back to being Wife)

So, he waited and then, once he felt the whisper of shadow magic, he was shoving his fingers down his throat. Macaque found him heaving in the bathroom, rushing over to help pull Red Son’s hair out of the way. After a horrid retching session Red Son was able to spill his tale.

About how much it hurt to see his mother. To see her so hurt and not be able to say anything. To see her look at him and not have a spark of recognition in her eyes. He was… he was nothing to his mother. She was the only one he had left, and she saw him as just as much of an object as everyone else. And... and his father. Red Son let the lingering nausea rise up, half retching again to sell his story. (He refuses to think about how easy of a tale it was to spin. How it barely felt like lying. The best stories pulled on real emotions, and Macaque was one of the best actors there was. Red Son had to sell this, even if he felt like a traitor indulging in his doubts like this)

Red Son had let himself break down. This was a critical performance, so he pulled up all the overwhelming emotions from this whole thing. How stressed he was trying to pull of this act. How sick he felt without Oblivion. How much it hurt that Red Son… just couldn’t hold up to the perfection of Wife. How much he hated thinking. And he let it all out into a torrent of tears and rage and sobs.

Macaque bought it.

Me bought it enough that he told Red Son something he had been told to keep secret.

That the Demon Bull King was alive.

Red Son couldn’t process that for a good long while. Finally, a tearful “What” slipped out in a whisper. Red Son… he didn’t know what to think, so he listened as Macaque told him of what had happened to DBK. How he was in the underground, working on (and mostly succeeding) on regaining his stolen memories.

Red Son demanded to see him.

Macaque caved in and agreed.

It’s not untill SWK, and therfore Macaque’s, next visit that he is able to slip Red Son away. He arrived in the underground in borrowed clothes (That itch and feel so ugly he wants to cringe) and his hair braided and plated so tightly against his scalp it hurts. (“Let me at least pretend it’s gone, even if I don’t even have that much of a choice for myself anymore” Macaque had bought it, one more point in Red Son’s favor.)

Most of the resistance is furious that he’d here. They don’t trust him. But the Spider Queen (And Red Son is so satisfied to have been right) has allowed it. He’s being brought in and out of this room, and he’s being supervised and guarded at all times.

Red Son had made a plan for what to do when he got there.

He forgets about it the moment they emerge from the shadows.

Because there’s his father. Whole and alive and not dead and who is crushing him into an embrace before Red Son can realize what’s going on.

And he’s crying.

(He’s not supposed to be crying. He only cries if Xiaotian asks him to. Wife only cries if his Husband asks him to. But Red Son isn’t Wife right now.)

And… they talk.

And DBK doesn’t ask for information or help or for Red Son to spin his story, he just… wants to talk about the past. About Red’s projects and that old list of movies he’d once made and…

And it feels Good.

And Red Son makes a decision.

His Prince had promised him anything he wanted when this was all over.

Red Son had originally wanted to ask to just forget about ever waking up at all, and everything involved but now…

Red Son was going to ask if Xiaotian would allow Wife to have parents again.

 -----------------------------------------------------

Things start moving faster from there. The resistance trusts Red Son now (How could they not with the performance he put on for them in the caverns) and DBK admits that he took Red Son’s old bull clones, and they were planning on modifying them to hit the entire city with their improved Reversal Track all at once.

Red Son gets to help work on modifying his old designs. He does exactly what Syntax instructs him, and when his work is inspected, they find no deviations or alterations from what he has been told to do. (Of course they wouldn’t. Why would Red Son need to risk his position now when he already had a back door into the systems? The bull clones were his creation, and they would not be turned against him. Not for long.)

There’s only one person who doesn’t trust Red Son. Who isn’t on board with the ‘Restored Prince’ helping them. Huntsman remembers. Remembers cold calculating eyes that didn’t match the cheerful grin before the SNAP. But he doesn’t have any proof besides his faulty memories, and it’s quite likely he is wrong and he dosen’t want to take this away from DBK. He wants it to be true. So he holds his tongue and says nothing. He regrets that in the end. Even if they didn’t believe him, he wishes he had said something. That is, before he barely remembers what those horrid people did to him at all when they took him from his Husband.

 -------------------------------------------------

The day of reckoning comes hard, and it comes fast. The modified bots had slipped though the entire city, strategically placed to hit the greatest number of people at once. It was a festival (which one I’m not sure, maybe the anniversary of when Monkey Kid first saved the City from DBK? Or perhaps the yearly celebration of him saving the city from the Spider Queen’s enslavement (they had chosen a time that wasn’t the lunar new year festival to honor the event) because the irony there would be fun)) so the majority of the city was out and about.

Then, all of a sudden, the constant humm that underscored everything in the city cut out. For the first time in years, it was completely silent as people stood in shock.

Then, before the Regime could respond, could try to find out what was going on, the Rebellion made their move. The counter song started blasting from each bot and people everywhere were falling to the ground with their hands over their ears. (Both because of the sheer volume but also because the rebellion had been forced to strike a compromise between speed of effect and level of pain. If wasn’t bad, like a low level headache, but it still hurt. And well, for many of these people, they’re been in a state of bliss for a while. The idea of pain at all, or something being wrong had almost become a distant concept.)

There were screams of course, even more so when DBK dropped his glamor and stood tall over the people. This moment of shock was what ‘allowed’ Macaque to get the upper hand and drag SWK off into the shadows. It had been vital to the plan that SWK be pulled as far away as possible. He was still the Great Sage Equal to Heaven after all and Macaque’s job was to keep him busy until they could get the music to work on him.

Some people were fighting (lots of them in their own green armor), some even seemed to realize what the new music was doing and had made makeshift earplugs (golden fabric ripped and repurposed, spread out among as many as possible). The Dragon Knight was a rage of green as she blasted through people, aiming for DBK, for the Spider Queen on her mechanical limbs. Xiaotian, their beloved Monkey Prince was helping as well, dozens of clones guided and flew people away to safety, fought off rebels and bots, while the true Xiaotian made his way towards DBK.

And to Red Son, who was sitting on his father’s shoulder

“Give it up you little wretch!” the Spider Queen snapped, mechanical leg lashing out in a sharp, deadly lance.

Xiaotian only snarled as he caught and redirected the blow with his staff. He wasn’t going to bother with filth like her, he had somewhere more important to be. He managed to shove past, leaving her to Xiaojiao and her Righteous Fury.

He had to duck to avoid having his head taken off by DBK’s ax as it came thundering down at him, doing a flip out of the way to avoid the resulting shock-wave. They were breaking his city! They were going to pay for that.

“Enough, little thief.” DBK called out, pulling his weapon back up to ready another blow. “This had gone on long enough. This fight will end. Now.”

And then Xiaotian did something that shocked those around him. He paused, falling out of his ready stance, and started laughing.

“You’re right. This is ending now. I’m absolutely sick of dealing with this mess.”

And then he got the coldest, self-satisfied smirk you’ve ever seen on his face.

“Red Son, love, be a doll and clean this up for me, will you?” He said, tone light and flirtatious.

 There was a choked and affronted sound from many of the resistance. But it quickly turned to gasps of shock and horror when,

“Of course beloved! Anything for you, My Prince!” came the response in an equally flirty tone.

 Red Son had been waiting for his cue. He knew that if they were going to get everyone, wipe out this whole stupid uprising at once, they would have to wait till the upstarts though they were about to win. Their one concession had been to let SWK in on the fact, that they had a plan but that… that Macaque had been lying to him.

Again.

(And SWK had been heartbroken to learn that his friend had been using his emotions like that. “I should have never trusted him. How could I do that? I know better, this is all my fault! I—" “No! SWK, Monkey King, Baba, No! It’s not your fault. If anything, it’s mine for not actually helping Macaque like I thought I was. Don’t put this on yourself, please! We’ll take care of it! We will, and then I can actually help Macaque and he can really get better and—” “I don’t think that’s going to work bud I… I have another way to deal with him. If Macaque had fallen so far to rick destroying everyone in the city, then… then he needs to learn some hard truths. The same way I did.” “Are you sure?” “Yah bud. I’m sure. You still help him, please help him, but… I locked it away. I’ll be back in three days.”)

SWK had let Macaque get him away from the city so the ensuing fight while he subdued the shadow monkey didn’t destroy said city. (SWK could have done it earlier. Should have really. He knew that. Should have slipped in at night and slipped it on his friend’s head so that Macaque could finally start healing and changing for the better. But he was selfish. He didn’t want to believe that Macaque was really at that point. So, he waited. And SWK knew it was leaving his son and successor to fight on his own but… Xiaotian was strong now. A Prince, practically a King in his own right now. He would be fine.)

Red Son couldn’t help but be a little dramatic as he reached up and pulled out his hair pin, causing the tight spiral of hair to fall back down into its proper loose waves quite elegantly if he did say so himself. (It was a petty little thing, but the number of people that were “so sorry” about his beautiful hair had started to piss him off. He liked his hair, his Husband liked his hair, why did others care so much? He’d been so careful in designing the style he’d had it in just for the satisfaction of this moment and it was worth it)

At the same moment he activated his wrist computer and tapped the send on the command he had written earlier.

In an instant the music tripled in volume and strength even as it changed. He had looped his backdoor access of the Bull Clones with his control over the main sound system in the city and cranked all of it up to full blast.

And it wasn’t the normal Oblivion that poured out across the city in a wave, no. Xiaotian had done his part as well. The work the resistance had done was amazing and complex. Weaving all the various alterations of Oblivion together like that (even if it was a bastardized ‘reversal’ of the song) was brilliant and Xiaotian would have never been able to craft something like that on his own.

Lucky for him though, that they had been kind enough to do it for him. He couldn’t undo whatever it was they had done to the track to swap its effects, but what he could do is merge his own tracks together following the same pattern as the file the had dared to inflict on his Wife.

A perfect melding of Oblivion capable of effecting everyone in the city (well almost everyone. One hybrid Prince and another who’s exposure levels left him immune stood unaffected) rushed over the crowds.

Most of the resistance didn’t even have a chance to blink before the Bliss of Oblivion overwhelmed him. (The Hybrid Spider’s evident immunity came as a surprise, but he was distracted by the fall of his comrades, and a blow to the head worked just as well to subdue someone) As it stood, DBK only had the chance to feel a moment of pain, Huntsman a moment of guilt, Spider Queen a moment of rage, before Everything. Went. Dark.

 -------------------------------------------

None of them expected to wake up again. At least, none of them expected to wake up as themselves. The leaders of the resistance, the Spiders, DBK, found themselves chained up in a dungeon. It was a shocked gasp from Goliath that revealed the other occupant of the dungeons. Macaque was in his own cell, battered and bloody, with a shining golden circlet on his head. He was clearly unconscious, and not in a good state, but the others had their own problems to worry about right now. They could hear faint voices on the other side of the door.

 “….but you…”

“I know my heart but….”

“….with me!”

“….wouldn’t be often. They would ….. FFM….promised.”

“Is that what you realy want Firefly?” The voice was clearly the Prince’s, and it had clearly stopped right outside the door.

“Yes. It… it is.” That one was clearly Red Son. That fucking traitor, most of them thought. DBK couldn’t bring himself to think about it at all.

“Alright, if you’re sure, I don’t like it, but I did say anything. I assume you also have some ideas about how to make it work?”

“I… a few.” And the unwilling eavesdroppers could almost hear the flinch. “Just… an outline of a few things. You know I’d much rather leave the details and the thinking to you, my heart.”

There was a brief moment (was that the sound of a kiss? Better not to think about it) and then a sight. “All right. You know I can never deny you anything anyways. Just... hurry up with all this so we can get things fixed properly, alright?”

“I will. Now you should go, you have a whole city to help fix while I finish up here, remember?” And that was teasing.

Disgusting.

“Ok, ok, I’m going. Be careful though, alright? I want my sweet Wife back to me in one piece.”

Never mind, that (and the sound of another kiss) was far more disgusting.

And then the door was opening, and a figure in red and gold was slipping into the hall of cells before the heavy door slid shut and they could hear a variety of heavy locks slide into place.

“Right.” Red Son said, clapping his hands. “Let’s get this all cleaned up so we can all get on with being happy, shall we?”

 The cacophony if insults and profanity was immediate and overwhelming. Red Son just smiled coldly as he sat back in a chair that had evidently been left there just for that purpose.

“Are you quite done?” he asked, once there was a lull in the monsoon of sound. “Because realy I think at this point it needs to be acknowledged that you are accomplishing nothing but straining your vocal cords.”

The Spider Queen opened her mouth to spit out another round of insults, but Syntax cut her off.

“Why are we still awake?” His voice was almost as cold as Red Son’s.

“Wonderful Question!” Red Son flashed a squinting grin as he clapped his hands. “Finally, at least one of you seems to have a semblance of reason” The fake joy slip from his voice at that point, and his eyes went hard. “See we have a little problem. I’m afraid my Uncle has been most… uncooperative in explaining his apparent immunity.” He gave a little nod over to the unconscious Six-Eared Macaque. “So we’re… improvising. I’ve been given permission to broker a few deals in return for knowing what it is and how to stop it.”

“Why the fuck should we say anything to you!” And, oh. I was Goliath who has snapped, had lashed out in the pain and rage that had been building since the moment Huntsman left them for his mission. “You’re just going to turn us all into your little brainwashed slaves anyways!”

“Because,” it was Huntsman who spoke, his quite voice caring a weight that shocked the others into silence. “There is a difference in fates. Between broken toys and dutiful worshipers. Between unending pain and eternal bliss.” Then he looked straight at Red Son. “I should have said something. Something about those sick ‘games’ you would play. I should have. But I wanted to believe that you were actually free. That we had realy found a way to break though even what had been done to you.”

Red Son hummed at that. “See, that’s the real problem here. You did. And it Fucking. Pissed. Me. OFF.” The bright smile on his face was in complete contrast to the venom in his voice and hate in his eyes.

“Why.” DBK’s voice was barely more than a whisper but in the sudden silence of the room at Red Son’s confession.

Red Son didn’t look at his father.

But he still answered.

“Because my life was a miserable shitshow in comparison? Because I chose the bliss and joy of oblivion? And fucking waking up again? After I’d already made my choice? After things were exponentially better than they were the first time I’d chosen? Who the hell wouldn’t be pissed to have their choices invalidated and their happiness ripped from them?”

“Wait, again?” “Who would bloody want…?” “Chose? The Fu…”

But it was Huntsman’s voice that cut through the ensuing cacophony.

“Is it realy a choice, if it’s made while fighting off withdrawals?” His tone was completely natural, speculative even, but it cut all the same. “Can an addict realy choose whether or not to return to their addiction?”

Red Son had gone stiff as the spider demon spoke, his earlier frustrated fire of rage replaced with something biting and icily still. Something in Huntsman’s words had clearly hit home, but before anyone could try and capitalize on that, Red Son was moving.

He turned, motions oddly still to single in on Huntsman. There was something cruel in his eyes. The others were actually somewhat impressed that Huntsman didn’t flinch.

“You know,” Red Son’s voice came out, light and seemingly innocently inquisitive. “The effects of the Hybrid’s transformation on his mind are fascinating.”

Huntsman’s face went pale. “No. No you can’t. You—"

Red Son cut him off. “Granted, my beloved is going to be so very busy helping the city recover from all the damage you lot did… I can’t realy imagine he’ll have much time to work on such a specialized and personal track… we might just have to come up with something more simplistic, it would be more brutal but well…”

His grin was that of a predator’s. Sharp and satisfied and vicious.

“You can’t…” Huntsman voice comes out in a hoarse whisper. “Please no, you can’t—"

“Huntsman what is he talking about?” Syntax interjected, fear and confusion evident on his face.

“Please I don’t…” Huntsman’s voice was frantic now; it wasn’t even clear if he had even heard Syntax’s interruption. “I don’t know the information you want! I can’t…”

“Hmmm” Red Son looked like the cat who’d gotten the canary. “I’m sure there’s something else, we could agree on. Don’t you think so? My sweet little Tudi?”

Huntsman’s eyes were screwed shut, tears gathering in the corners. “Y,yes. Shifu.” He nodded. Clearly fighting back sobs.

That prompted everyone to break out into exclamation again, mostly centered around what was going on, and what Huntsman had mean by that. It was the rest of the Spider Clan who’s voiced were the loudest, the most frenzied.

“Huntsman what is he talking about?” “What the hell was he implying?” “He’s the one who—”

“Perfect!” Red Son interrupted, clapping his hands. “I was hoping you’d see reason Huntsman; I can’t wait to get back to work on you. And I already have such wonderful ideas for your friend, I was thinking something more foreign. Western maybe, Victorian era. Something about the aura of it is appealing.”

(Had Red Son indulged himself with fantasies and daydreams while he was stuck in the underground ‘helping’ build things to fight his Husband with? Why yes, yes he had. And the stupid Hybrid was responsible for undoing all the hard work he’d put in on Sandy’s Spider, so really who could blame him for plotting out the scientist’s fate a little more thoroughly than the others?)

This was about the other’s clued in as to what Red Son had been threatening Syntax, and by extension Huntsman, with. This was also about the time that they all started realizing that this was real. That they lost and that one of the best options might be to end up so thoroughly brainwashed that they were happy and couldn’t realize what had happened anymore.

(Huntsman had gone still and limp, unable to meet anyone’s eyes. Unable to bring himself to respond to the frantic attempts of the rest of the clan to get answers. About what he had just agreed to. About what was going to happen to him. About what was going to happen to Syntax. Huntsman knew that Syntax, the real one anyway, would probably never forgive him for this. The new one would probably Thank him, and that thought just made it all worse. But the fact was that Huntsman wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he let Red Son go through with his implied threats. He knew that the Prince, and… and Red Son it seemed, were more than willing to shatter Syntax’s mind. Leave him a shell of a person, so long as it got them the obedience they wanted. Or worse. Because Huntsman had no delusions about his own fate, whether he went willingly to it or not. And he knew once he was under, he would spill every secret and private moment with barely a prompting. They would know about Syntax’s memory reset, and I quick session with the Queen would give them the information on how. They could snatch Syntax’s self away from him again, and then it would take barely any effort to feed him whatever truth they wanted. To take his brilliance and use it for their own gain. Use it to hurt others. Huntsman knew Syntax wouldn’t want that, would fight that possibility with everything he had. Ending up like… like Huntsman knew he was going to wasn’t…. it was awful to have your self stripped away and replaced, remade, at the whims of another but… the other options were worse. If his submission meant that Syntax at least had a chance of getting free someday, he had to take it.)

The room in general had shifted back to outrage and yelling. People snapping at others, lashing out. The Spider Queen had been displaying a rather impressive vocabulary, one which only got more so when Red Son had gotten sick of her insulting ‘his heart’ and described how exactly he planned on breaking her. How she needed to ‘atone’ for what he had done; the trouble she had caused the city and the people she had hurt. How she was going to be Obedient from now on.

To everyone.

But realy she was never going to be able to learn and redeem herself if she was allowed to be under the entire time. How realy, it would be a reward if she got to spend her days in the Bliss of Oblivion. So Red’s wonderful, perfect, brilliant Husband (And there were more fake retching sounds as the fire demon derailed into a min rant about the Prince’s apparent ‘virtues’.) had found a way to let her stay awake inside her head while she served he time by being ‘useful’ to the people of the city.

The Spider Queen had gone green at that, (along with most everyone else), before turning red and then deciding to explore the very depths of her demonstratively impressive vocabulary. People joined in.

But through this all the Demon Bull King had been silent, right up until the moment he wasn’t.

“You chose this?” His words carried a somber weight that filled the hall and pressed down on everyone present, bringing silence with them. Even Red Son wasn’t effective.

It hadn’t been hard to see that the fire demon had been avoiding looking at his father. It was even harder to miss now, when Red Son was looking steadily in the other direction, even when he had clearly been the one addressed. It looked like he was going to even try and pretend he hadn’t heard the question, or at least that he didn’t see the need to answer it.

So DBK pushed forward. “The little thief stole you from us.” His words were still just as quiet and heavy as before. There was no trace of rage or any emotion at all in his tone. “He ripped us apart, your mother and I were lost without you, and we couldn’t understand why. No one knew I survived, how can you—”

“That wasn’t supposed to happen!” Red Son spun around, cutting his father off. Then he bit his lip, clearly not having meant to respond. Still, now that he’d started, it seemed he couldn’t stop. “We made a mistake. It wasn’t supposed to… I don’t like being shared and there’s not room and it’s not like you noticed all the months of me slipping away or when I moved out so it shouldn’t have mattered and—” It was clear Red Son was mostly ranting to himself now, “—It’s fine now. My heart said anything and we’re going to figure out a schedule to come visit and—”

“Visit?” The raw confusion in DBK’s voice was almost tangible.

Red Son visibly stiffened, obviously not having meant to say everything he did. “…Yes.” He finally spoke after a long tense moment of silence. (The others didn’t speak, everyone somehow knowing that whatever was happening right now, it was somehow going to be a key factor in the decision of their fates)

“On Flower Fruit Mountain.” Red Son continued, still not looking at his father. “I… when I went to my Husband and told him what you did to me, and how I felt I would have to stay this way in order to get answers I… I hate being like this! And I was so upset and Xiaotian just wanted to help me feel better and he promised me anything I wanted once we fixed this whole mess. And, and I had just wanted to forget this whole horrible time ever even happened but… I, I changed my mind.” He pulled his arms up around himself, and he seemed to be shaking slightly, even as he refused to look away from the wall. “And… and we’re going to fix things, and you’re going to actually care about me, and what I want and want what’s best for me, and that’s to be with Xiaotian and be happy the way I want to be but I’ll be able to come visit and you’ll actually pay attention to me and things will be better and…” Red Son’s voice trailed off, fish fingers digging into his arms. The hall was silent for several long moments, no one knowing what to say, or even how to process what was going on, until—

“Is this realy what you want?” DBK’s voice was quiet. Slightly broken.

Red Son didn’t answer, just gave a sharp nod, still not looking at his father.

There was a shuddering intake of breath, and then… “All Right.”

And then DBk was talking. Explaining what he understood of the spell work Macaque had used to create the magic nullifying crystals, what he had been told of their function and use. The others were yelling, fear and anger ramping up the volume and the vulgarity.

But it was like neither father nor son could hear them.

Red Son had spun around to face DBK when he has started talking, his eyes blown wide. (And if his eyes looked wet, it was just the florescent lights of the cell block, nothing more)

DBK, for his part, was the one not looking at anyone, shoulders slumped and eyes downcast as he spoke. He didn’t look up even once, not to respond to any of the other voices in the room, not even when he was finished and Red Son breathed out a “Thank You” with such intensity and honesty to the gratitude that if gave some of the others a tonal whiplash.

And then the Royal Consort was slipping back out the large door, the sound of multiple locks quickly becoming over taken by the low rumbling of base that was quickly growing in volume and intensity.

In that moment, as the world started to blur at the edges and Oblivion overcame them, they knew they had lost.

And the Tyrant Prince had won.

 --------------------------------------------------------

Huntsman was surprised to wake up again. He shouldn’t have been, not with the deal he had made, but he was. He was in his ‘lesson room’ and Red Son… no. The Prince’s Wife was sitting on the vanity in front of him looking far to smug.

“Oh Good~!” He cheered clapping his hands. “My sweet Tudi’s woken up! That means we can get started!”

Huntsman felt sick. He had… well he hadn’t realy known what he was agreeing to back in the cells, he had said he was willing to do anything, and he had meant that, but…

Were they going to make him be… that, fully conscious?

It turns out he didn’t need to have worried about that, because what was actually was being asked of him was far worse.

Because The Prince’s Wife tapped a few buttons on his phone, and an all to familiar melody filled the room.

Huntsman tensed, confused as to why they would wake him up only to send him crashing down again, only to freeze when he realized that… he wasn’t. He wasn’t falling. There was a steady pressure against the edges of his mind, but it wasn’t invading and taking over like he knew it should be.

There was a part of him that was mildly terrified by that. The part of him he hated. The part that he knew was an addiction, that needed the bliss and mindlessness. The part of him that he had thought he had fought off, dealt with, that had come roaring back to life when the whole city had turned into a blast of Oblivion

He wasn’t confused for long though as the Prince’s Wife to great delight in explaining what was going on.

He wanted to be sick.

They weren’t going to make him play pretend, they were going to make him willingly hand over his mind to be pulled apart like putty.

Permanently.

No coming back from this one.

Or if he did, it would be twisted. The way the Prince’s Bride was. Not realy back, and desperate to loose himself again.

Huntsman’s flight or fight had been activated, and he wanted to run to scream to do something, anything to not go happily to his own execution—

But then he heard a muffled groaning from behind him.

And The Consort’s eyes flashed in a moment of self-righteous and sadistic glee.

They’d brought Syntax, tied up and drugged just enough to be unable to fight free.

As a reminder and threat to Huntsman.

As a way to punish Syntax for his immunity, and to satisfy the Consort’s apparent grudge.

Sure, the Prince’s Wife said it was so Syntax could see what his new life would be like once the little Tyrant found a way around his immunity, a taste of how happy he was going to get to be, but that wasn’t fooling either of them. This was nothing more or less than a sick display of control.

But what was he supposed to do?

Huntsman had agreed to anything, and the Consort had brought the reason for that in to watch.

But he didn’t bother to try and stop the silent tears that slipped down his face as he forced himself to hand over his mind, piece by piece, until the Companion was blinking up at his Shifu, confused about why his face was wet.

 ------------------------------------------

Macaque’s awakening was… less pleasant.

He woke up with a scream as blinding pain raced through his head. His body instinctively jerked to curl up against the pain, but his limbs were jerked to a stop as chains bit into the skin, and Macaque couldn’t help the cry of pain that escaped him.

Almost as quickly as the pain started, it cut off, but Macaque was left sobbing and panting as sensation faded.

Eventually he was able to blink his eyes back into focus.

He almost wished he hadn’t.

Sun Wukong stood in front of him, No. No this wasn’t Sun Wukong, this wasn’t his once friend. The Great Sage, Equaling Heaven, stood in front of him. And he was quite clearly upset.

Macaque idly wondered if he was actually going to die this time. He had gotten off twice now; when he thought the Great Sage would end him. Once for his actions on the Journey, and again when he had been betrayed during, what he could only assume from his current situation, was their failed attempt to free everyone from Xiaotian’s control.

“Why?” The question came out in a hiss, and it took Macaque aback. Mostly because… because it was a pained sound. There was naked raw hurt on the Sage’s face and Macaque… didn’t know how to feel about that, or how to answer.

Not realy.

So he fell back on old habits.

Hide the hurt and the pain behind bravado and snark.

“What kind of a question is that?” Macaque tried to laugh but it came out as more of a pained cough. “You know I’ve never liked taking orders, and getting bossed around by your kid wasn— AAGAGGAGAGGHHH!!!!”

His words were cut off as The Great Sage’s mouth began to move and the pain was back, feeling like his head was going to rip open.

When it finally stopped again, Macaque didn’t have the strength to fight off the tears.

“So this is what he’s turned you into then?” The accusation came out wet almost a sob, more a silent, begging plea than anything else. “Where’s all that bravado and pride you once had about ‘having changed’, hmm? But you’re just back to playing with your food again now I see. If you’re… If you’re going to kill me Sun Wukong then just do it!”

“No.” The word came out like ice and Macaque barely registered that The Great Sage had moved until his chin was caught in a harsh grip and Macaque’s head was yanked upwards, forcing him to make eye contact with Sun Wukong.

“Why, Macaque? Liu er? I actually thought—” A bitter laugh cut through the sentence. “You actually had me fooled into thinking you wanted to change. That you wanted to be better. To… rebuild what we’d lost.”

He stepped away then, and Macaque felt the loss of his presence.

“I should have known better.” His voice sounded so… hollow, and a part of Macaque wanted desperately to cry out to him. To tell him that he was wrong, that Macaque did want to fix things, that he had been trying to fix things, but the larger part of his was terrified of the Great Sage, and the rest was in too much pain to do anything.

“And I do. Now.” Sun Wukong continued, not bothering to turn back to face Macaque and thus unaware of the inner turmoil playing itself out across his face. “But still… even if it was just an act I… I missed you. Macaque. And Heaven’s help me for some reason I’m still not willing to give up on you yet so…”

He did turn back to Macaque then, holding a deep purple gem in his palm. The very sight of it made Macaque’s blood tun cold. They knew. And if they knew then… then they realy had lost. And now Macaque was going to lose himself.

“Please.” It was a quiet thing, almost lost under the sounds of the room as Macaque’s frame trembled in his chains. “Please Wukong, don’t… that’s not… what he does to people isn’t help. He’s not making them better; he’d just erasing who they are. Please Wukong you have to see that. Look at what he did to the Spider clan you can’t tell me you think any of those changes were ‘natural’ or some part of Huntsman’s ‘True Self’. Hell, look at what he did to the Demon Bull Family. DBK and Princess Iron Fan forgot they even had a son. And Red Son isn’t even treated like a person anymore, Please! Please that can’t… that can’t realy be what you want!”

The tears were flowing freely now, and it was impossible to keep the desperation out of his voice. “Please Wukong, I thought… I want to be friends again, I do, but every time I saw what had been done to them I… Please Wukong if you�� I won’t be capable of being your friend. Won’t be capable of being anything, the best you could hope for is a convenient doll or a responsive toy, Please Sun Wukong!”

That was the point the sobs started to tear themselves free from his throat and Macaque couldn’t force any other words out. He just hung there, limp, suspended only by the chains keeping him bound as the fear and heartbreak shook through him.

And then there were strong arms around him, and the chains were falling away one by one, leaving Macaque to collapse against Sun Wukong as he trembled. “Please.” He managed to choke out. “Please if... don’t let him. If you’re going to... please. Don’t let it be him. At least… at least let it be you.”

Macaque felt Sun Wukong’ s grip tighten on him for just a moment before—

“All right.”

It was more a breath than words and if it weren’t for his enhanced hearing he wouldn’t have caught it at all. But even if it was an empty promise, Macaque clung to it, and clung tighter to his Sun, even as he both heard and felt The Great Sage shatter the crystal still in his grip. The rush of his sealed power returning to him was heady, and for a moment Macaque thought about trying to run.

He might be able to do it. He could slide into the shadows again now, and he might get away before The Great Sage noticed.

But Sun Wukong would never let him go. Would hunt him, and with this band on his head had the power to put him to heel and stop any attempts beside this first.

And Macaque knew he couldn’t run forever.

He wasn’t strong enough.

So instead he just let himself sob. Let himself cling to his friend, cling to this moment, even as the fear and exhaustion and lingering pain threatened to pull him under. This might be his last moment as a real person ever again, he might never truly wake up from the nothingness that pulled so harshly on his consciousness, but as last moments went, Macaque thought he could do worse than this one. Curled in the arms of his oldest companion, his almost once brother, and being gently pulled away by Sun Wukong’s steady hum as he tried to sooth and comfort the other.

Yah. He could do a lot worse than this.

That was the last thought Macaque had as he finally succumbed to unconsciousness.

 -------------------------------------------------------------

 Red Son was… well confused.

They were… they were done now, weren’t they? Things were fixed, or at least mostly fixed, and everything had basically been set right again. No, not just set right, made better.

So then…. Why was he still, well him?

He’d been Red Son for so long now, and the blissful love of Wife was starting to feel like a dream, and he was so tiered of thinking, and he had thought, well certainly Xiaotian would want his sweet loving bride back as soon as possible, right?

So then why…?

Had he… had Red Son done something wrong?

Did… did Xiaotian… not want him anymore?

The very thought was almost too much to bear and yet…

Red Son was still here.

 They were at dinner, just the two of them.

(Though Red Son hadn’t been the one to make it. Hadn’t been allowed to do any of Wife’s tasks and… did, did Xiaotian not think he still could? Because that wasn’t true, it wasn’t! Sure he probably wouldn’t be as perfect at things the way Wife was but he could still be Good!)

But the entire meal had been in silence. Xiaotian hadn’t spoken to him once, and despite the millions of questions and fears and desperations running around in his head—

(And it was so cluttered and thinking so much and so fast hurt and Red Son just wanted it all to go away again. To be empty and blank and mindless the way he wanted to be. The way he was supposed to be.)

—Red Son knew better than to speak out of turn. To say anything if he hadn’t been addressed. He wasn’t going to screw up the one thing he was still doing correctly.

He was still allowed to sit next to his Husband, thank goodness. (Though was Red Son even permitted to think of him like that now?) Allowed to hold him and be close and in truth he had barely eaten, choosing instead to basically cling to Xiaotian’s arm. To take what comfort he could from his presence.

And then Xiaotian was done and, whether he had noticed Red Son’s completely lack of appetite or he simply didn’t care that Red Son wasn’t done (not that Red Son would have objected either way), he, still without a word, lifted Red Son into his arms and carried him back into his bedroom.

Red Son instinctively wrapped his arms around Xiaotian’s neck, and then actively buried his head into his Husband’s shoulder, trying to soak in every moment of comfort and affection he could.

(If Xiaotian was going to tell Red Son he was done with him, it was likely going to be soon.)

He felt, more than anything, when they settled onto the bed and Xiaotian shifted to lean back against the headboard.

Red Son still didn’t look up.

“Hey, Red, come on Firefly, look at me.”

But once Xiaotian gave his request, Red Son was helpless to disobey, reluctantly pulling his face from where he had hidden it in the other’s neck to let him gaze be pulled up to meet Xiaotians.

The latter immediately frowned, clearly upset by something he saw, which only served to make Red Son feel worse.

“Firefly, what’s wrong?” And Xiaotian’s voice was so soft and gentle and caring and Red Son didn’t feel like he deserved it. “Please love, tell me what’s bothering you.”

Red Son realy didn’t want to, but he would never dream of disobeying so… “Have I… have I done something wrong? My Heart?” He whispered, unable to meet Xiaotian’s gaze as he spoke. He could almost feel the other’s displeasure grow at his words.

“Why would you think that Red?” And his voice was still so soft and gentle and Red Son simply couldn't take all this thinking and not knowing and—

“Because I’m still here!” He blurted out. He slapped his hands over his mouth the moment the frustrated words had slipped free but it was too late. He jerked his head away and screwed his eyes shut (He would not cry. He refused. Red Son would not mess up any further, and certainly not that terribly), certain that now he had finally pushed passed the unknown line that had been drawn. The one that said he was no longer worth the effort it would take to make him back into a Good Wife again.

He was somewhat surprised by how loving the hands that pulled him back in close, pulled his own hands away from his face and tilled it up again were. He shouldn’t have been, Xiaotian was nothing if he was not overly kind but still.

Xiaotian’s own face was somber even as he leaned down and gave Red Son a gentle kiss, more a brush of lips than anything. (It almost felt like a goodbye and Red Son had to fight to hold onto his training and not let a sob slip out)

“Oh my love,” Xiaotian whispered as he pulled away, “I am so sorry, I—”

He didn’t get a chance to finish because Red Son threw himself at Xiaotian.

“No, please!” He begged, eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I can be good again, I can! I swear I can! I know it might take awhile but please! Please, I can be perfect for you again, I’ll do whatever I need to to get rid of the bad so please let me be your Wife again, I swear I can be good! I—”

And then he was cut off as Xiaotian was kissing him again. It wasn’t soft and gentle this time. It was fierce and hard and claiming, and it left Red Son completely breathless when Xiaotian finally pulled away.

“You,” Xiaotian huffed out, just a breathless are Red Son was. “Are Mine. Do you understand me? MINE. There is nothing about you that isn’t mine, and nothing I can fix if I find it a problem.”

He kissed him again and Red Son couldn’t help but let out a whimper of relief as he did so.

When they broke apart, Red Son wanted to ask why. Why had he been left to suffer like this then? But he couldn’t find the words and Xiaotian was tugging him around to rest against his chest again and so Red Son simply let himself be moved about.

“I’m sorry Firefly,” Xiaotian says again once he’d positioned Red Son where he wants him. “I never meant to… I would never get rid of you. I love you Red. I just… I needed to think about something, and well, do something. And I thought… well maybe it was selfish of me, but I wanted this,” he pulls of the cover on a small platter on the bed side table that Red Son hadn’t noticed. “to be the last decision ‘Red Son’ made. For you to give yourself to me, forever.”

Which is about the moment that Red Son managed to register that that is a peach that has been carefully sliced and layed out, which, coupled with his Husband’s words had his turning back to Xiaotian in awe as the truth what this is settles in.

Red Son ended up throwing himself at Xiaotian again, almost crying for a completely different reason this time.  

“Please! I, Yes, Forever, Please!” The words tumbled out in an incomprehensible mess as the joy and euphoria completely overwhelmed him.

Xiaotian just laughed as he held him close, reaching over behind Red Son and then, “Open wide for me Firefly.” He held a peach slice between his fingers and Red Son obediently opened his mouth to accept the gift.

He took just a moment to savor the taste, (like sunsets and stardust and perfect sweetness), before he surged up to claim Xiaotian’s lips in his own, sharing the taste and the moment and the gift of forever.

Because Red Son was nothing without Xiaotian, and he wanted to share this moment.

Once he was forced to pull away, Red Son looked up, and was almost overwhelmed by the sheer love and adoration in the gaze his Husband gave him. He felt like he could get swallowed up in it, and never surface.

But then Xiaotian was moving again. Selecting another slice of peach, taking it for himself, and then returning the favor.

 Later, once they were done, once they had finished binding themselves to eternity, then there would be soft music with a heavy base, gentle words and soothing hands, and bit by bit there would be no more Red Son. Only a loving Wife and a perfect marriage and blissful mind-numbing joy. Joy that was going to last an eternity this time, one that he welcomed and embraced with open arms.

#lmk #Monkie Kid #Lego Monkie Kid #Oblivion AU #oblivion series #Tyrant Prince AU #Brainwashing #mind control #hero's loose #bag guys win #lmk MK #lmk red son #lmk xiaotian #lmk qi xiaotian #not-fic #i actually made something #LONG BOY #long post

[bluecloudious]

Slight mature content warning

Click for better quality and check tags for extra info.

#madness combat #gif #comic #Agent #Fully OC #I had this dialog cooking in my mind for a good while #I finally wrote it down and made a thing #It was originally gonna be fully animated but that would've taken way too long and required determination that I do not have #everything except the 3D model and yeezys is made in MSPaint #kinda really proud and laughing my ass off #:))) #3D model also made by me #sanmos mention #KitZan

[zeroone-eleven]

Hi! I'm new here and I have to say I really like your writing style quite a lot ^-^. May I request a scenario with Mamamoo Moonbyul from the punch in the gut prompt list?  Number 15 would be nice. Maybe the reader and Byul had a lot of fights and they know their relationship is not going to last any longer? Once again, thank you for writing for Mamamoo and I hope you have a beautiful day😊

Loving you is a losing game; Moon Byulyi (Mamamoo)

--------------------------------------------------

Summary: It wasn't that you were tired of each other. You really couldn't say for certain that you still loved each other either, you loved her that's for sure. But does she still love you?

Requested? ☑

애써봐도 몸부림도 다 소용없겠지.

Even if I try, all my struggles will be useless.

--------------------------------------------------

Your relationship with Moonbyul wasn't exactly formed in the most romantic of ways. You started out as friends, then you became friends with benefits, and it's safe to say that repeated physical intimacy resulted in unaccounted feelings. Thinking back on it now, it seemed like an illusion built up by the countless boosts of serotonin brought about by you countless booty calls with each other.

At first you chalked the fights up to stress. After all she was an idol that's managed to make it big in her home country and you had a job that demanded most of your time, if not all of it. Naturally you wanted to make things work, to find the root of the problem. Most of the days you fought, you exerted efforts to fix things between the two of you. "For love" you told yourself.

But lately? Lately you weren't so sure anymore.

--------------------------------------------------

If only had it been insignificant, you would have let this ordeal slide. But your girlfriend had forgotten about your anniversary plans after you had spent the last two weeks constantly reminding her that you had something up your sleeve. You even told her to be home by now and yet an hour and a half had passed since the set time you told her to be here.

The dinner you put so much effort into had gone cold. You sigh and decide to dig in all alone, you'll be damned if you let the steak and potatoes on your plate sit in the fridge. You ate slowly, savoring the flavor and although you don't usually like being the center of praise. You would say you did a damn good job of cooking this meal. It took you a total of an hour to finish eating, fix up the table, wash the dishes and get yourself ready for bed.

Time passes with you trying to lull yourself to sleep to no avail, you stare up at the ceiling and sigh to yourself. You hear the front door open and shut, keys being put into its holder, a few moments of silence and the bedroom door opens. Moonbyul walks in and your eyes meet, you force yourself to look away, missing the way her shoulders tense up with guilt. She walks over to your side of the bed and you turn your back to her. You don't know if you can look at her once more without breaking down. You don't know if you can look at her and find the strength to carry on with this relationship.

"I'm sorry." You scoff and Moonbyul doesn't notice how anger joins hands with your disappointment. You consider giving her a piece of your mind, but you can't find the strength to maintain an angry state so you decide to just let her know what you've been feeling, tired as you are. You roll over to the other edge of the bed and stand up.

"I spent the past two weeks telling you about this, reminding you to be home by sundown. Two weeks Byulyi, two weeks and when it came down to it you didn't even care enough to show up on time. We've fought with each other more times these past three months than in our whole lives combined, every single time I was the one to make a move to make things right. But the fights weren't the worst part of it, the worst part? With every little fight that passes it's starts looking more and more like you don't want me with you anymore."

She has the decency to look affronted. Standing up, she quickly makes her way over to you. Taking both your hands in hers she opens her mouth, ready to contrast everything you just said. "I know how it looks like right now jagiya, but this is just a rough patch. I do want this with you." Moonbyul places a kiss on each of your hands to try and prove her point before she continues.

"I'm sorry that we've been fighting a lot, that's just the stress of our lives getting the best of us and I'm so sorry that I missed today, there's no excuse for that and I know. But please, don't ever think that I don't want to make this work or that I don't care about you or us."

Moonbyul's eyes hold the desperate want to fix things, the same look you wish you would've seen ages ago when you were still willing to suffer through making things better. Now you're just tired of it all and she's more than just a little too late. You try to take your hands away from hers but she holds on tightly to you. And finally, for the first time in the three months you've spent fighting. You tell her exactly what brought you to where you are now.

"It hurts to love you, Byul. And I don't think I can put myself through it any longer."

Her grip loosens and you slip out of her grasp. Moonbyul stands glued to her spot, thoughts running through her head as tears starts to pool up in her eyes.

--------------------------------------------------

You walk out of the bedroom you've shared for so long and call up your best friend. Constant ringing pursues from the other side of the line, you grab your coat and keys. Making it out the front door just in time for them to answer.

"What's up bitch?"

Ahhh yes, your best friend. Ever the more respectful out of you both. Their voice as well as the greeting brings a small smile onto your face.

"Hey, I was wondering if I could crash over in your place for a while?"

--------------------٩(◕‿◕｡)۶--------------------

A/N: It's been 84 years since someone sent me a request, thank you so much for sending in yours. I hope this did your ask justice? Angsty dialogs (any kind of dialogue in general) and putting them down into letters and making them transition fluidly from one speaker to the next is still something that feels difficult for me.

#Mamamoo x Reader #Mamamoo #moon byulyi x reader #moonbyul x reader #moonbyul #moon byulyi #reader!insert

[hawkland]

Destiel fic recs/what I’ve been reading (round #1)

Since some folks seemed interested in me starting this, here’s a round-up of what I’ve enjoyed reading in the last...two weeks or so. Not sure how much of a schedule I’ll keep up with these posts, but I’ll try whenever I have a bunch to share before they get too cluttered in my bookmarks.

Some are new(ish), some are older stories, it’s just whatever I’ve stumbled upon via searching tags for particular cravings, recent exchanges, or other recs in the wild. Sixteen fics in total for this round, all below the cut. Basically stories I liked enough that I didn’t just bookmark but I downloaded, so I could re-read without fear of disappearing forever.

Season 15.18—15.20 Fix-its - because we cannot have enough of these ever, right?

One does not simply walk into the Empty by TheSilverQueen  (7.7k) I was practically screaming while reading this one. Because if you are Dean Winchester, that is EXACTLY what you do - walk straight into the Empty to get Cas back and pick a fight with the Shadow about it until you get your way. Inspired by the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice yet wonderfully in character. Might be my favorite fix-it to date because it just felt like...yes, I can see this happening. Exactly like this.

the noise of stars by depugnare (2.9k) - I love this for the look inside Cas’s thoughts and mind—going back to the dawn of creation and leading to his rescue from the Empty. Seems like a lot to cram into under 3k words but it’s very poetic and beautifully written, something that feels very angelic (also, I love the handling of Dean’s soul actually being quite broken after his time in Hell, something I feel isn’t dealt with nearly enough...?)

Enhanced Extraction Techniques by goldenraeofsun (5.8k) This one hurts so good. The Empty torments Cas with visions of Dean coming to rescue him over and over again. How can he know what’s real versus a dream? Bonus points for a nifty Law & Order reference (dun dun).

Occursus by PallasPerilous (4k). Heaven!fic, so read at your own risk. This one I loved for angel weirdness and strange biology at its finest. Dean’s soul basically gave Cas an angelic STD when he raised him from perdition. IDEK but it works and I loved it and if you like fic that skirts on the strange with lovely language, humor, and banter, this is for you.

These Old Bones by Destina (3.2k). Always a delight to share a fandom (once again!) with an author whose style and works I know I’ll enjoy. Wherein Dean and Cas straddle a unique line between Heaven and Earth in order to build the life-and home-together that they deserve. Loving and comforting and with just a touch of the bitter to the sweet.

Command Me to Be Well by prosopopeya (28k). This one hurts a lot before it gets better because they’re both emotional idiots in their own ways. It doesn’t matter in this story exactly how Cas got back; the real challenge is Dean (and Cas) figuring out how to deal with what comes next in the aftermath of Cas’s love confession. Dean acts like sex will be enough (and is all he can handle); Cas wants/needs far more than that, and it’s a long, long road to get there. If you want a story where they don’t just immediately work out great, happily-ever-after after fixing Cas’s death, this is one I’ll rec.

Nothing Equals the Splendor by RurouniHime (7.8k) I know I already mentioned loving this one but I have to put it on my official rec list. Kind of a contrast to the previous rec, here they don’t waste much time at all getting it on, once Cas is back. Delicious first-time fix-it sex with wings and so hot/explosive they practically trash the bunker. I really like smutty fic that doesn’t forget that Cas isn’t human so there are some...unique kinks in how they get it on.

surely heaven wants for you by cenotaphy (3.7k) Heaven fic with steamy first time sex outside. Just...a yummy read with enough angst and feelings to balance things out nicely.

*****

Human!Cas in Season 9 (canon-divergent AUs or Not) - This is where I was recently at on my complete watch-through, so I have a serious craving for human!Cas missing scenes, or AUs where he stays in the bunker with Dean, Sam and Kevin. Hence a lot of reading to scratch that itch.

La cucina. by orange_crushed (3.9k). Total food-porn delight. Dean enjoys bringing new foods for Cas to taste now that he is human and Dean is in the bunker kitchen cooking like the total domestic goddess housewife he is meant to be. This one is yummy in more ways than one and satisfies my craving for pleasure seeking!Cas as well as protective-mama hen!Dean. 

Bibliophile by tiamatv (4k). Human!Cas loves books, on a tactile level and on a story-telling level, too. Dean likes to cuddle. Cas tries to figure out how to read AND cuddle at the same time. Just a happy comforting read that’s like a warm and fuzzy blanket of squee.

A Room of His Own (or not) by Valinde (Valyria) (3k). This fandom is very, very good to this fan of delicious frottage and bedsharing and this is no exception. Especially when it features greedy-for-pleasure!Cas just totally hungry for new experiences and awkward about them at the same time.

Under the sun by orange_crushed (1k). Episode tag for 9x06. Bitchy Human!Cas hurt/comfort wound-care with bedsharing and just...electric with possibilities.

*****

My Wing!Kink let me show you it.

The Care and Feeding of Castiel by MalMuses (24k) Soft. So, so very deliciously soft. Soft!Dean nesting (in more than one ways) in the bunker. Unique and delightful angel-lore relating angels to birdlike-behavior including nesting urges/molting/even flight-or-fight instincts that explains so much of how Cas acts. This is a great AU with Cas starting to regain his wings as things calm down (in an alternative late season setting) and he starts to feel more at home in the bunker. Wing-grooming as he’s molting and regrowing damaged wings acts as a metaphor for Dean & Cas “grooming” and healing their relationship by finally talking about the hurt and miscommunication between them through the years. Much love. Such happy. A+ rec especially when there is @lizleeships art to go with it.

The Care and Keeping of Wings by nekosmuse (2.9k) Crackfic! Pure crack in the absolute best way possible! Cas comes back from Purgatory with.... something different about him. His wings are manifest and everyone can see them. Dean seems strangely proud of showing off his winged angel!babe...even when Cas has them pull over Baby for the perfect dust bath. Poor Sam must suffer both of these idjits and try to keep onlookers away.  IDEK but I loved it.

*****

Random other recs

Blessed Are Those Who Hunger by pollutedstar (3.6k) Character study of Dean and dark reasons behind some of his weird issues with food, relating back to 5.14 (My Bloody Valentine). I might caution that if you have any eating disorder triggers you might want to tread carefully, but otherwise this is a painfully good look at the things Dean will do to protect and care for those he loves.

Mary Winchester, Working On It by alittleduck (9.6k) Saw this one recced on fail_fandomanon and I had to check it out. Mary is trying to figure out Dean & Cas’s relationship. Dean thinks Mary is trying to come out as gay herself. Lots of great/hilarious TFW 2.0 dialog and family banter, and somehow it manages to skirt hitting my embarrassment squick despite the set-up and a lot of awkward situations.

#destiel recs #my fic recs #maybe a weekly thing we shall see #hawkland reads spn fic #deancas recs #my destiel recs

[buzzdixonwriter]

Hoo U?

A spirited discussion is raging on Facebook now, the good kind of spirited discussion, an enthusiastic exchange of ideas and ideals, not a snark fest.

The top is a deceptively simple one:  Who are the characters various actors played?

Let me clarify:   It began as a trivia challenge to name actors who have won Oscars for playing the same character.

And there in lays the debate.

How exactly are we defining a character.

This all sounds trivial, and to be frank this part of the discussion is, but it’s gonna get deep by the end.  

Trust me.

So here’s the kickoff:

Marlon Brando won a Best Male Performance Oscar for playing Vito Corleone in The Godfather; Robert DeNiro won a Best Male Supporting Performance Oscar for playing Vito Corleone in The Godfather II

Heath Ledger won a Best Male Supporting Performance Oscar for playing the Joker in The Dark Knight; Joaquin Phoenix won a Best Male Performance Oscar for playing the Joker in Joker.

(Trivia bonus: Kate Winslet and Gloria Stuart received Oscar nominations for playing the same character at different stages of her life in Titanic, and Winslet and Judi Dench were both nominated for playing the same character at different stages in Iris as well; plus Peter O’Toole was nominated twice for playing Henry II in Beckett and The Lion In Winter which technically counts as a sequel…)

The Facebook debate is over whether Ledger and Phoenix were actually playing the same character.

Now in the case of the former, The Godfather II is a continuation of the same story in The Godfather by the same creative team with much of the original cast reprising their roles, the Oscars going to two actors who played the same character at different stages of their life (BTW, where's the love for Oreste Baldini, who played Vito as a young boy?).

The two films were re-edited and combined with The Godfather III to make a nine-hour and 43-minute miniseries The Godfather Trilogy.

It is clear the creators’ intent from the beginning was for audiences to accept Baldini / DeNiro / Brando as the same person at various stages of his life.

The Ledger Joker and the Phoenix Joker cannot possibly be the same character for a wide variety of internal continuity issues separating the two films.  The creators of Joker went out of their way to state their version of the character was not The Dark Knight version.

Unlike The Godfather movies, you can’t link up the various live action Batman / Suicide Squad / Joker stories into a single coherent narrative (especially since you have to drag in the live action Supeman and Wonder Woman movies and TV shows as well).

. . .

Can different actors play their version of the same character in otherwise unlinked productions?

Of course they can.

Stage plays do it all the time.

If you start with the same exact text, then clearly any number of actors can play Hamlet or MacBeth or Willy Loman.

The problems arise when one goes afield of the text.

. . . 

In 1932 Constance Bennett made a movie called What Price Hollywood? that did okay but really didn’t set the world on fire.

In 1937 Janet Gaynor remade that film as A Star Is Born, the story changed to give it a tragic yet uplifting conclusion; her version was a big hit and Gaynor received an Oscar nomination.

In 1954 Judy Garland remade A Star is Born as a musical and that proved a big hit, and Garland received an Oscar nomination.

In 1976 Barbara Streisand took a swing at the material with a country-western version of A Star Is Born and while she got an Oscar nomination, audiences were unreceptive.

In 2018 Lady Gaga remade A Star Is Born and received both an Oscar nomination for her role and an Oscar win for her song.

Question: Are they all playing the same character?  Each played a character that started their film with a different name than the other versions, but the Gaynor / Garland / Streisand / Gaga versions all end with the central character proudly proclaiming they are “Mrs. Norman Maine.”

Same character?

. . .

There’s no argument that William Gillette, Basil Rathbone, and Benedict Cumberbatch all played Sherlock Holmes, even when their productions took certain liberties with the stories.

But Sherlock Holmes is not an idiot, and Michael Caine played Holmes as an idiot in Without A Clue.

Was he playing the same character as Gillette / Rathbone / Cumberbatch?

(Ironically Peter Cook played a very recognizable and wholly credible Holmes in his farcical send up of The Hound Of The Baskervilles with Dudley Moore.)

Did George C. Scott play Holmes in They Might Be Giants?  Almost everybody else in the story thinks he’s a New York banker who’s suffered a nervous breakdown and only thinks he’s Holmes, but Scott believes he is Holmes 100% and throughout the film other people he encounters accept him as Holmes at face values.

He functions as Holmes throughout.

And in the end, the audience is left in a weird place, not really knowing what his fate may be, not absolutely sure if he is a bonkers banker but maybe…somehow…he is Sherlock Holmes…

. . . 

Did John Cassavettes in Tempest and Walter Pidgeon in Forbidden Planet play the same character?  Were either of those roles Shakespeare’s Prospero?

Did Christopher Lee play the same character in Horror Of Dracula and its sequels, in Count Dracula, and in In Search Of Dracula?   (The producers of Count Dracula sure went to great pains to explain their version was a different and more accurate version than the Hammer version of the character, and In Search Of Dracula cast Lee as Vlad Tepes who was the real life historical figure Bram Stoker based his novel on.)

For that matter, is Count Orlok in Nosferatu:  A Symphony Of Terror actually Dracula?  A European court awarding lawsuit damages to Bram Stoker's widow sure thought so.

Along similar lines, was Bela Lugosi playing Dracula in Columbia's Return Of The Vampire? Universal's lawyers sure thought so.

Did Jim Caviezel in Passion Of The Christ, Max von Sydow in The Greatest Story Ever Told, Paul Newman in Cool Hand Luke, and Michael Rennie in The Day The Earth Stood Still all play the same character?

Did Toshiro Mifune, Clint Eastwood, and Bruce Willis all play the Continental Op?

Did Clint Eastwood play the same character in all three Dollar films?

Did Vincent Price, Charlton Heston, and Will Smith all play the same character?

Did Leonardo DiCaprio play the same character Steve McQueen played in The Great Escape (even if just for one brief scene) or did he play a character who played a character Steve McQueen played in The Great Escape?

Ooh, here's a good one!

Lon Chaney Jr starts Ghost Of Frankenstein playing the same monster Boris Karloff played in the original Frankenstein / Bride Of Frankenstein / Son Of Frankenstein trilogy, but by the end gets Ygor's brain (Bela Lugosi) transplanted into his body and speaks / thinks / acts briefly as Ygor in Frankie’s body.

However, Frankenstein Meets The Wolfman while maintaining continuity with all four previous films cast Lugosi as the monster (because Chaney had to play the Wolfman, duh) without dialog.  Glenn Strange then assumed the role again in continuity with all previous films for House Of Frankenstein, House Of Dracula, and Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein, occasionally speaking briefly in the role.

Who was Strange playing in his films?  The original Karloff monster or Ygor in Frankie's bod?  Are those two distinct characters?

. . .

All the above is fun trivia to debate, but it links to a much more serious question:  Who are you?

That’s not a trivial matter.  What constitutes out identity?  What makes us who we are?

I lost my father years ago to Alzheimer’s.  As my brother Robert observed, the only member of a family not affected by an Alzheimer’s diagnosis is the person suffering from it themselves.

I would talk to my father on the phone, and he was always pleasant and cheery, but about three years before he died I realized he had no idea who I was, I was just some voice on the other end of the line that mom wanted him to talk to.

My father was by nature and easy going kinda guy, and that certainly made his last few years easier for my mother and brother Rikk to cope with, but one night when I was visiting, trying to get their affairs straightened out so he could enter a nursing home, he got irritated with my mother as she was trying to help him and raised his hand as if to slap hers away.

My father never raised his hand against my mother.  

Ever.

He taught me and my brothers that was something no real man ever did.

He might sound gruff on occasion but he never raised a finger, much less truck our mother.

The fact he did so in the throes of Alzheimer’s indicated that whoever he once was, he wasn’t that person anymore.

We got him into a nursing home and he lasted a little less than a year there, his mind and his memory and his personality deteriorating rapidly.

Who was he at the end?

I didn’t go to his funeral.

What was the point?

The father I knew and loved had departed long before they buried his shell.

My grandmother, on the other hand, remained her cranky, irascible self until a week and a half before she died, finding the wit to crack one last memorable joke before her body began shutting down.

. . .

The question of identity is related to consciousness, and these are referred to as “the hard question” by physicians and physicists and philosophers alike.

What makes us “us”?

How do we know who we are?

What constitutes identity?

There are no easy, pat answers.

We have textbook definitions that dance around the issue of identity and consciousness, providing enough of a foundation for us to recognize what it is we’re discussing, but no one has yet come up with a clear, concise explanation of what either phenomenon is.

It’s like saying “apples are a red fruit.”

Okay, we know what you’re talking about, but we also know that description falls far, far short of what an apple actually is.

That’s why trivial discussion like whether or not Heath Ledger and Joaquin Phoenix are playing the same character is a lot more important than it seems.

(BTW, they aren’t. Phoenix won his Oscar for his version of the Rupert Pupkin character in a violent remake of The King Of Comedy.)

    © Buzz Dixon 

#movie stars #movies #identity #consciousness #Marlon Brando #Robert DeNiro #Oresti Baldini #Heath Ledger #Joaquin Phoenix #Joker #The Godfather #Frankenstein #Dracula #Wolfman #Boris Karloff #Bela Lugosi #Lon Chaney Jr #Glenn Strange #Michael Rennie #Vincent Price #Charlton Heston #Will Smith #Toshiro Mifune #Clint Eastwood #Bruce Willis #Judi Dench #Jim Caviezel #Max von Sydow #Paul Newman #Walter Pidgeon

[pitter-pattering-ink]

They call us “Angels”

1.

She has no name but is known by all in her village. She is the woman who weaves baskets faster than anyone else. She is the the one who knows exactly when to pick berries to get the perfect ripeness. She is the mother of a boy who refuses to paint with the other children because the texture of paint against his hands doesn’t feel right. She is the creator of the first paintbrush.

She is my first human, my first assignment as a protector. I guard her from all I can and hope I do well. When she grows ill I hold her hand while she begins to nod off. Her son is in the other room- she did not want him to see her like this. I will look after him too.

In her sleep, she smiles, lacing her fingers through my own. To have a body is still foreign to me, but I manage to squeeze back. She should not be able to feel this. I don’t let go.

-

Our task is simple. Protect the humans. Let them grow. Do whatever we can as to not stall their progress.

And goodness, do they make progress.

2.

He is the first to learn how the scraping of flint and steal can cause sparks to fly. I watch as he grows- he’s a curious one, this one. Many times I lead animals away from where he sits, always too distracted to notice. He has many names, for the grunts and murmurs  of vocal chords are still adjusting, and sound is something they are still trying to find the boundaries of. “Ma” seems to be his favorite. When he figures out how to turn sparks to fire I put myself between him and the flames to keep him from being burnt. They don’t leave marks in the same way they would him.

Everything is fast after that. Suddenly things can be cooked. Meat is much more edible than before. Suddenly water is safe to drink without the risk of disease. Suddenly warmth can be found in places other than the curves of another person. He hands it to everyone he knows and they take it with clumsy footing, no doubt leaving singed earth along their path. We will worry about it later; they learn quicker than anything we have seen in a long, long time.

-

They won’t stop growing. There are so many- we are in the millions but it is only a matter of time before they surpass even that. There are many other species that grow at similar paces. But none of them take so much time to mature. None of them have so much to learn- none of them have all that and more.

We were not built to worry. We do, however, wonder.

3.

They tell stories. Nothing has ever done this before.

Then again, I imagine nothing has ever been this lonely either.

I am assigned a boy named Jack. He is born on a ship, the moistness of wood replacing the soft of grass while the world moves beneath him. When night falls and the waves grow rocky everyone gathers in the middle of the deck, taking turns weaving tales under the stars. They discover religion. They discover us.

We have a name, now. Angels. We have never had a name before- nature never referred to us with anything close to that. It feels foreign against my tongue, yet it’s surprisingly fitting. We grow into our new labels.

Jack slips and nearly falls off deck, but I am there to keep him steady. His mother thanks me for my efforts. Calls it a blessing from the gods. I am no god, but I appreciate the sentiment. She tells him, “Be more careful next time. These waves will only grow more rough.”. She tells him, “The sea is no kind beast. She will balance us above the dangers below but she is not to be held responsible for anything- or anyone- who sinks further.”. She tells him, a bit teary up, “I may be the captain of this ship, but not even I could save you from waters like this.”

He learns how to stay standing when the wood beneath his feet refuses to still. We listen to stories together.

The children’s favorites are the ones told by his mother. She leans against a cane and speaks of adventures she has had, run ins with other pirates, loves she has cherished and betrayals she is still bitter from. Most of them, I’m sure, aren’t half true. Jack does not seem to mind.

Eventually she grows too old to run the ship. He takes her place, leaning against her- his- cane and telling tall tails of danger, run ins he has had with other men his age. Men who he had a fondness for and those expected better of. Most of them, I know, aren’t true in the slightest. The children do not seem to mind and the crew are not the type to ruin a good story.

He dies in his thirties after a particularly rough storm. As careful as he was, nature does not hold back or those who are weary. I keep the pressure off his lungs for as long as I can. I try to make every gulp of water taste sweet and calming. It takes everything in me to make his death peaceful.

But some people are simply not ready. He trashes till he can’t. Panic only clears when his vision darkens.

His body is never found. The crew mourn him like they mourned his mother. They keep the cane in their honor.

-

They won’t stop dying. They pass from the tiniest things, always so quick, always before we can do anything to help. Sometimes we can’t, even given the time. Sickness is everywhere now. People are dying in the streets. We can’t do anything to heal them. The best we can do is prolong the inevitable- that, however, is much too painful a death to seem like a blessing.

They call it the plague. They call it a punishment from god. Our names go from ‘angels’ to ‘demons’ very, very quickly.

We are only able to bless things that already exist. You cannot eat a cake when you have no ingredients. The doctors don’t know how to fix this- they are not yet advanced enough to deal with something this big. We can only sit and watch, horrified, as those we have been sworn to protect die by our feet. I am assigned more people than I can count. Their names become a blur. By the time it’s all over, humanity has changed. They have lost so many. We have lost so many.

For a while, each miracle leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

4.

The most stressful assignments, although also very amusing, are the ones who need to be protected from themselves.

His name has been passed down from generation to generation, yet he much prefers to go by Eric. I help him breathe through his corsets and let time pass faster when he’s forced into a face full of make-up. On the few occasions he steals pants from his brother’s room I make sure his footsteps are quiet, because such things are life or death in times like these.

His family is rich and he is tired. They throw parties of plenty, and I hold his tongue when he’s pressured into dancing with the other men there. He steps on their toes and I laugh. Eric is all too ready to rebel in ways that girls his age get disowned for. I let the small things through, smiling at his internal dialog, filled with sass and curses and things that would make his father turn purple. Nothing too big. Never what he really yearns for.

A boy lets go of his hand and gives a terse smile, excusing himself to the food table. We watch him limp away. Eric grins.

He dies young. With a tongue that sharp, it was to be expected. He is caught kissing a woman with undamaged shoes while they both are wearing pants. It was the only time I let him. Witches, they call them. I do my best to save them both, but it’s useless. Heels are not meant for running.

They are buried in unmarked graves. It’s the only blessing I can give.

-

They recover their numbers quickly. It seems no matter what, they always bounce back in a relatively short amount of time.  It’s amazing. It’s terrifying. We get assigned more than one person at a time.

5.

My first household is a family of three. It’s a mother, a daughter, and a child that’s somewhere in-between. Mostly I look over the children- their mother works from home and is much less prone to mistakes than them. And goodness, are they reckless. Their names are Rose and Julian. Rose is a night owl and I have to make sure on more than one occasion that she doesn’t spill mugs of hot coffee on herself. It’s a brutal task, especially when she refuses to sleep when she should. I urge her to drink colder drinks. She refuses.

She is stubbed toes and dropped papers, noise when it should be quiet. She is clumsy. A long, long time ago, this would have been a dangerous trait to have. But things have changed. This world was built by people like her. She will be okay.

Julian is young but they are not stupid. They know more about the ways of the body than any human I have watched over before, bookshelves filled to the brim with pages upon pages filled with the morbid details of what makes humans blood flesh and bone. They flap their hands when they’re frustrated and chew on whatever they can get their hands on. This world was not made for them. I hope it will be rebuilt by the time they’re old enough to live in it.

They are experiments gone wrong and the urge to learn more, even when it becomes less than safe. I bless their hands to stay uncut while experimenting on a dead frog, holding knives that are much too sharp for someone their age. I don’t stop their mom from waking up to scold them. I do make sure they get to keep the frog.

I grow more connected to these children than anyone else I have ever looked after. Jack would have liked them- he would have told them so many stories. I’m with them while they take their driver’s test, pressing their feet down with just enough pressure on the gas petal for smooth sailing. Rose refuses alcohol for the first time and I am there to make sure she doesn’t give into peer pressure. Julian studies for a medical degree, studies how to make this world better for people like them. They don’t need much help on their tests, but I’m still there to lead their pencil on particularly hard questions.

They move out but they stay connected. I watch them bring new people into their lives, watch as their create families of their own. Over the years they change, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse. But they are always kind. They are always Rose and Julian.

I’m not as foolish to say I forget how they died. However I don’t like to think about it, so that’s as close to forgetting as I’ll get.

They were good.

I was not built to miss people. Yet they still linger.

-

Our task was simple. Protect the humans. Let them grow. Do whatever we could do as to not stall their progress.

There were many we could not save, and even those that we did were still doomed to the same end. Fate has it’s limits- you can only bend it so much. We were already testing it’s patience by simply existing. And that was fine. Death is normal, death is natural.

But these humans- these humans are different. They create and they are kind to a fault and there is nothing else like that. We did not expect to learn from them. We did not expect for this to hurt.

We did not expect to care.

5.

There’s a woman who lives to be 94. She is one of the lucky few to make it so far. She has grandchildren of plenty and their parents are happy. We all call her Nana. I watched over them for generations, the longest I have for any family before. In her last moments she prays. She tells me I did a good job.

Her grandson dies at age seventeen because I am busy helping his brother clean up glass. I do not pray- such things are better left to those who have faith. But I do hope she forgives me.

13.

I try my best to keep them safe. But this family, this family is not meant to last. There is always something wrong, always something broken, always something that needs to be blessed. It wears me out in ways I have not experienced for centuries. I can’t- I can’t help them all.

In the end there is only one left. She cannot bear to be alone.

No miracle can help someone who does not want to be helped.

21.

The sweetest boy I’ve ever protected is in a family full of rotten people. He is the best thing in that house. I give blessing after blessing, miracle after miracle, and he lives to be happy. He finds a husband and a wife- I bless them too. When he dies it’s a shock even to me. The world seems to dim. I protect his spouses and everyone else he cared about. It’s the first time I come dangerously close to grieving. He would not have liked that.

56.

While the family sleeps, their cat nuzzles into the couch and gives me a slow blink. I always end up sitting with it for the next hour. I cannot touch it, but it seems to appreciate my presence anyway. I miracle it mice to catch.

73.

They are sisters- there is nobody left but them. How reckless they are, spray cans routinely clanging against the cement while they take off from the police. They laugh while they run, and it would be sweet if it weren’t so dangerous. They get caught, once, because I feel they need to know just how serious this is.

The cop lets them off with a warning but also makes the one with darker skin lay on the floor while the other stands.

I do not let them get caught again.

When they pass I make sure their graffiti stays up, soon surrounded by many similar pieces by people like themselves. My next assigned family passes it on the way to the subway and I have to pause for a moment. I come very close to smiling. It would have made them happy.

?

We love them,

?

We grieve them,

?

We miss them.

-

We are angels. We are guardians of humans, protectors of families. We are the small miracles, the big blessings, and we play a balancing act with death just for them. Because they are growing and they are evolving. Because they love in ways we did not know were possible and they love us in ways that can only be described as ‘human’.

They have taught us so much. They have taught us to feel.

There is nothing we would not do for them. Challenging fate is just one of our many favors.

We are angels, and they are human. They are learning and so are we. Because of them we know love. We would not trade them for the world.

-

Our task is simple. Protect the humans. Let them grow. Do whatever we can as to not tall their progress.

And my goodness, do they grow.

But to our shock, so do we.

-

#writing #angels #guardian angels #queer writing #lgbt writing #a mix of poetry and prose tbh #trans and gay characters #yeet #this was inspired by a post by what-even-is-thiss! check them out! #i really liked this concept #just #angels loving humans #:) #humans are weird #humans are... dare i say it.... cute

[tinalbion]

Tina thank you for this! I have a spicy request for ya! Two dialog prompts, we got “You know, there wasn’t a single thing to eat in the kitchen until you walked in.” and pair that with “It’s okay, honey, you can pull my hair as hard as you want while I’m between your legs.” for...Drum roll please....BUDDY SWANSON! Gimmie that sweet cooking boy having some fun in the kitchen with the reader, doesn't have to be kept to just oral either, have fun with it, do whatcha want I TRUST YA! Love you! 🖤

UM HELL YES, YOU ARE THE FUCKIN QUEEN AND I CANNOT HANDLE THE PURE SEXUAL ENERGY THESE TWO LINES HAVE.

Seriously tho, I am so very excited to be writing for Buddy for the FIRST time ever and I really do hope I did the boy justice, I will admit I was nervous as fuck for this. I’m happy with the way it came out. 

Rating: Explicit

Words: 3.1k

Warnings: Sexual tension and innuendos, cunnilingus, kitchen sex, fingering

╺

“Chocolate”

╺

Summer was here and things were kicking off to a great start.

Whatever happened between you and your two new love interests only progressed further and at a fast rate, you weren’t expecting it to kick off as you did, but you weren’t going to be the one to complain at all. You finally had some time for yourself after you had escorted the campers off to their divided activities, watching as they all ran off and spread out into evenly dispersed groups, friends talking amongst one another. You smiled at the thought of the kids having the best summer they could all thanks to the staff at Camp Clear Vista. 

You had begun to make your way back to the main camp when you spotted Buddy walking into the back door of the kitchen, carrying a large box, but now that you had a moment, you were going to find out what it was. You needed the time to unwind and Buddy was more than a good enough distraction for you, so what was the harm in seeing what he was up to. You looked around and saw that everyone else had either gone back to their cabin or had been in a session with the kids, so you crept through the back door quietly, not alerting him of your presence just yet. 

He carefully removed the contents of the box and placed them on the freshly wiped down prep table, the bags, and small boxes spread out where Buddy could easily read everything. He muttered to himself and read off the ingredients as he hummed to himself, his attention focused on his task. Weaving in and around the kitchen, through the walk-in cooler and toward the cabinets, he was able to gather all he needed until he heard a small sound near the back of the kitchen. His head jerked up and that's when he noticed you standing there, arm resting confidently against the doorframe. 

"Oh, didn't realize I had a visitor," he teased with a reserved smirk, brushing his curls from his eye. 

"You seemed focused, didn't wanna disturb you when you're in the zone." You shot him back a playful grin and crossed your arms as you took a few steps towards the table. “Plus I may or may not have been looking for a snack, just finished up helping with setting up the nature hike groups. I’m famished.”

He finished setting down the measuring cups and looked up at you, his expression was almost unreadable. “You know, there wasn’t a single thing to eat in this kitchen until you walked in,” Buddy delivered the line smoothly, his hands already quick at work with the materials he had before him.

All you could do was laugh and shake your head in embarrassment, not wanting to show just how much you liked the line. "I can only imagine how long you've been wanting to use that line," you mused, leaning forward against the table. "Whatcha making?"

"Caramel marble brownies, I figured it would be a nice treat for the kids after dinner." Buddy had been too busy mixing everything to make direct eye contact, but you could see him peeking from the corner of his eye, his smile slowly growing. His mind was wandering like it normally did when you were in the vicinity, but he would play this out.

Your eyes lit up at the mention of baked brownies, the thought taking you back to childhood. It wasn’t until now that you realized it had been way too long since you enjoyed any real baked goods. Boxed ones just weren’t the same, so seeing as Buddy knew how to make them from scratch was a delightful tidbit that you didn’t know you needed to hear. 

“Oh, can I help?” you asked excitedly, clapping your hands together as you looked expectantly at him. 

He grimaced a little since he was rather protective of his workspace, but he knew you well enough that his kitchen would be in good hands, so with a sigh he slid the large silver mixing bowl your way. “You know how to make brownies from scratch?” he asked wistfully, taking a step behind you as you began to mix the ingredients together.

“I will admit, it’s been a while since I’ve made decent desserts, but with your skillful hand and willingness to teach, I’m sure I’ll be in good hands.” You smiled down at the bowl and then looked up to see Buddy staring at you, and it wasn’t just any stare, this was intense. You turned away quickly and tried to hide the obvious blush across your face.

Truth was, even though you two had already been intimate, Buddy just brought that side out in you and you were always so flustered with how dominant he could be. With Sam, it was soft and sensual, but with Buddy? Oh, it was on another level. You never complained nor would you ever, but there was just something about him today that was giving off more of an intimidating vibe. Moments later, you focused on him and he was concentrating on mixing together the melted caramel squares and evaporated milk together until it was combined well enough to make a thick enough caramel sauce. 

“You know, I always did like chocolate as a kid,” Buddy said as he slid the smaller bowl over toward you, “what about you? Any sweet treats you enjoyed as a kid?” He grabbed the ungreased pan from beside you and slowly started to spray the nonstick baking spray in all corners. 

You smiled and shrugged your shoulders. “Didn’t really appreciate it as a kid, I do know though, especially with desserts. Went out to a fancy dinner with the folks and they had a fondue fountain with fruits and whatnot to dunk in it. Nothing tasted better than strawberries covered in warm chocolate sauce.” 

Buddy listened intently as you described one of your favorite memories, your discovery of all fine things to do with dessert. He loved it when you talked about things you recalled back from your childhood, it was almost like he could live vicariously through you and erase his horrific memories. He took the bowl from you after you finished mixing the batter and inspected it carefully. 

“Good job, looks perfect. Wanna do the honors?” He held up the small spatula that was covered in the chocolate batter, the droplets spattering onto his hand. 

You nodded and grabbed the utensil from him, your tongue immediately licking up the layer of batter. Buddy watched you and bit his bottom lip so hard that he almost drew blood. You were oblivious until you went for the second lick and saw the fist he had resting on the prep table, your eyes darted up to meet his and you knew what he was thinking the moment your eyes met. The smile he gave you could have made you drop to the floor in an instant.

“You know, I wasn’t lying when I said there wasn’t anything to eat until you walked in,” Buddy recalled, licking the fallen batter off of his own hand while maintaining eye contact with you. His smirk, damn, that smirk he gave you only made you weak in the knees. 

“And what exactly are you implying, Buddy?” 

He set the spatula down and firmly spun you around with his hand on your shoulder, pushing you against the table as he pressed in between your legs, a concentrated look in his eyes as they peeked out at you through his curls. “Oh I think you know what I’m implying,” he growled as his hands slowly began to slide under your camp counselor shirt, the hem of your bra just above where his fingers stopped. “But that all depends on you.” He reached in and dipped his finger in the batter, licking it off painfully slowly as you watched. He gauged your reaction and knew damn well you couldn’t resist.

Without even dwelling on it, you nodded your head and quickly pulled him into a heated kiss, his lips already making you melt as his hands began to undo your jeans button. He easily lifted you from the table and onto your feet so he could properly dispose of your clothing, but then it was right back onto the prep table with you as his fingers slowly made their way in and out of you, his lips never breaking away from yours. 

With just his touch he could have you undone in minutes and Buddy knew this, but he needed to be sure you were worked up enough, he loved seeing you like this because of him. He reached over toward the bowl and dipped his two fingers inside, gathering a bit of the batter on his fingertips, and he placed them against your lips as soon as he pulled away. Fuck, this was so hot, who knew Buddy was so into this? 

Your mouth was sucking on his fingers, holding in your moans and cries that you so desperately wanted to release, but you had no intentions of getting caught by a bunch of kids or the rest of the camp staff. You focused on the chocolate as his other hand continued to pump into you, a third finger finally curling within you, your moan just a bit too loud. Buddy removed his fingers from your mouth and looked down at you, his gaze a little too mischievous for your taste. 

“If you’re too loud, you’ll get us caught, then we’ll have to stop. Surely you don’t want that?” His toe was so mocking that it just made you even more of a mess, but you pouted and nodded your head in agreement, you surely didn’t want that.

He touched your bottom lip with the fingers that had been in you, his smile growing as he watched you suck them clean without him having to say a word. The sound that came from him was almost animalistic as you kept eye contact while you finished cleaning his fingers, then he went in for another sloppy kiss. His mouth slowly began to trail down your jaw and then made its way to your breasts as he lifted your shirt, your moans a lot more silent for the moment. 

Again, his hand dipped into the bowl and smeared the batter over your breasts, watching as the liquid threatened to drip down and ruin your nice, clean bra, but his tongue was lapping it up before it did. Buddy made sure to take his time with this as he only ended up licking some of it off, the rest smearing even further across your skin. You giggled as he made it a point to suck on as much of your skin as he could before getting to the main course. You figured it wouldn’t hurt to help yourself to the mix and scooped a little from the bowl, moaning against your fingers as Buddy nipped at your sensitive flesh. He pulled away and went lower, kissing your inner thighs softly and again nipping at your skin, your cute little yelps filled the kitchen.

 You didn’t expect it to happen so suddenly but Buddy’s mouth had made it to your heat, and his tongue dragged up your slit in a slow motion, causing your legs to shake, a drew out ‘fuck’ escaped you. He was merciless as he continued to eat you out, his hands grabbing firmly at your plush thighs while he swirled his tongue around, your body jerked every so often from the sheer pleasure. The contrast of the chilled table and the warmth of his tongue was almost too much to take at once. 

Your fingers curled into his hair, gripping it ever so slightly to guide him to where you wanted to feel him. You felt the small chuckle vibrate against you and you were almost in over your head, your head was thrown back and you moaned out his name. Those fingers that ran through his curls never eased up and he had to admit that he loved when you showed him just how much you were enjoying yourself.

Buddy pulled away for a moment, licking his lips as your slick coated his chin, his eyes looking you over. “Oh I’m not done yet, but it’s okay honey, you can pull my hair as hard as you want while I’m between your legs,” he muttered with a shit-eating grin. 

Before you could respond to him, he was back to pleasing you with his tongue, stopping your thoughts before you could even form them, and you couldn’t help the moan that did follow. To hell with being quiet, he was making it more than difficult to behave, but the kids were far enough away that you shouldn’t have to worry about it. The thought was far from your head within seconds as he continued to make you squirm, your mouth hanging open and your eyes rolled back, you were feeling absolute bliss. 

“Oh God, Bud-dyyyy,” you cried out, “please, just -fuck- keep going!”

You weren’t going to last much longer though and Buddy knew it, so he sped up his actions and thrust his tongue in, swirled it along your lips, sucking up your wetness that threatened to spill down your legs. He was hungry and he needed you to cum. Your grip on his hair only tightened the closer you got, your legs shaking like crazy as you whispered his name in warning, but you couldn’t even tell him. You cried out, breathless and panting as your cum coated the lower half of his face, but he didn’t mind one bit as he attempted to lick it from his lips, the rest he wiped off on one of the hand towels that was closeby. 

Buddy chuckled as he stood before you and slid his hand behind your neck, bringing you up to kiss him. You tasted yourself on him and moaned against him, his smile only widening. 

“Damn, that was-”

“Who said I was finished?” Buddy interrupted. 

You looked at him and bit your lip, wondering what else he had in store for you, but there was no waiting around with him. He already had you positioned over the table, bent and spread for him like a goddamn meal. His hand slowly slid its way down from your side to your hip, then his hand made contact with your ass as he gave it a playful but solid smack. A yelp followed by laughter; you were having way too much fun. Buddy had unbuttoned his pants and allowed himself to spring free, rubbing it against your soaked lips while one of his hands slid under your bra, grabbing your breast. 

“It’s my turn now, babe,” he whispered into your ear. 

Prodding your entrance with his hard-on, he slowly slid within you and groaned as he felt you clench around him. ‘Oh fuuuck,” he sighed. 

His hands were gripping your hips as he pushed into you, stretching you out until he was buried deep within you, just relishing in the feeling of you wrapped around him. The more he fucked you, the more labored his breath became and he was having too much of a good time feeling you beneath him, but when you pushed against him and rolled your hips it was almost too much for him. He stopped as his hands roamed along your sides, sliding down to your ass as he pushed you forward slightly, watching as he slid out of you slowly. Buddy picked up the pace again and he kept one hand on your hip while the other reached around and gently began to rub your clit, and you let out a whimper while he placed more pressure on it, causing your sounds to grow even louder.

“Bud-dyyyy, please, fuck,” you begged, your eyes fluttering as you tried your best to bite your tongue, but he was close and you could feel it. 

You didn’t know how long you two had been at it but you knew that the kids would be back pretty soon, and the thought of being caught by one of the other counselors wasn’t on your list of plans, but the very thought of it only made the tingling in your spine grow. Buddy began to grunt as he rested his chest against your back so he could fuck you as deep as he possibly could, the feeling of you clenching down on him only made him thrust harder into you. 

“Fuck, I’m not gonna last much longer,” he warned against your ear.

His hand on your clit didn’t stop either as he mercilessly slammed into you, and within minutes, you came undone around him. You couldn’t stop the loud moan that followed your orgasm, the pleasure washing over you as you leaned fully onto the prep table to catch your breath, but thankfully Buddy followed close behind and came deep inside you, the movement of his finger against your clit slowed until he finally pulled away. You were both panting and heaving as you stood there as you allowed your high to fade, and Buddy slowly pulled out of you as he placed several kisses against your back, then fixed his pants and turned you around to help with yours, the intensity of the moment still feeling a bit high.

He looked down at you and laughed almost a little too loudly, something you hadn’t heard him really do around you. “What? What is it?” you asked in confusion, your hand instinctively wiping at your face.

Buddy shook his head through his laughter and sighed while he reached for a bit more of the brownie batter, then gently booped it onto your nose. “You got a little something on ya, Y/N,” he teased.

What both of you hadn’t expected was Sam to walk in, blissfully unaware of what just transpired moments prior, walking into the kitchen as he hummed a song and dug into the employee fridge to grab his lunch. He smiled as he saw you two and looked at your face, a large smile across his. He stepped up close to you and swiped your nose, taking some of the batter with him. 

Sam popped the batter into his mouth and chuckled lightly. “Hey Buddy, hey Y/N, ya missed a bit. I’ll see you guys later” And with that, he was gone again, getting back to his group of kids. 

You both watched as he walked out of the kitchen, completely unaware, or so you thought, and you couldn’t help but bust out into a fit of laughter with Buddy shaking his head as he wore the biggest grin you’ve ever seen. You really had been one of the luckiest people on the planet to land such a great pair of guys. 

#tinalbion writings #slashers x reader #slashers imagines #slashers headcanons #slasher requests #buddy swanson #metal killer #buddy swanson x reader #buddy swanson imagine #Stage Fright (2014) #smut #citrus slashers #I HOPE YOU LIKE IT BEX #I love this boy

[crushedbyhyperbole]

Some Like it Saucy (TFV)

Summary:  Cooped up in the compound while the team conference with Secretary ‘Toss-pot’ Ross, you decide to cook and decorate.  What better way to fill the team’s hearts and bellies than a Marrakech-themed evening with Bucky’s favourite food - Moroccan tagine.

Words:  1.6k

A/N:  Written for @buckybarnesbeans​​ leap year challenge filling the dialog prompt:  “Which one of you Bollocks thinks my chicken is dry?  You? You?”  (In bold).  It’s a Bucky x Reader originally written as an adult reader, but this is the teen-friendly version. Thank you @sassy-pelican​​ for giving the original a read to check for mess-ups

Warnings:  Bad language and British slang. Fluff.  Light on reader insecurities towards the end.

The living areas of the compound were quiet and hollow; the whole team was gone and you were left alone.  It felt eerie.  Like the rest of the world had vanished and you were the sole inhabitant of a world once teeming with life.  You shivered at the thought of such endless solitude.

There were remnants of their existence, of course.  The alluring yet comforting smell of Bucky’s soap in your bathroom this morning, a half-drank mug of coffee on the common room table, a messily folded newspaper with a half-completed crossword puzzle, and an open packet of Tony’s favourite trail mix hidden in the magazine rack.  It wasn’t like they had been snapped out of existence or anything, they were all at a conference with Secretary Ross.

Dickhead, you thought.

Ever since that mission in London where you picked up some amusing English insults that you later took pleasure in using on Secretary Ross, your absence at debriefings and conferences involving him had been, let’s say, strongly advised.  Needless to say, Secretary Ross didn’t appreciate you calling him a wanker and telling him that he talked a load of bollocks.

It had been a fun mission though.  The team had been brought in to help MI5 foil a plot to steal the crown jewels and reunite the nine pieces of the famous Cullinan diamond, which occult conspiracy theorists say was a stone of great power.  Cullinan I, in particular, was an exquisite stone. Housed in the majestic sceptre with the cross, it had piqued your interest purely for its unusual refractive index; there was something about that stone, you could feel it with your powers as you pushed your influence through the security case to interact with the stone.

Goosebumps broke out across your skin and you shook yourself free of the memory.  The eeriness of the compound seemed to have increased since invoking the feeling of the power of the stone but you cast it aside as best you could, latching on to the annoyance you felt that Secretary Ross was robbing you of a lazy morning with Bucky.  Tosser!

Boredom made your bones itch.  You needed to do something other than going back to your room to vegetate until everyone came back, so you decided to cook dinner.  Moroccan chicken tagine. It was one of Bucky’s favourite meals, and since everyone was suffering the presence of Secretary Tosser, you figured they deserved a reward.

Delicious smells of savoury meat, fragrant spices and sweet apricots filled the kitchen as the team emerged from the elevator.  You were finishing up by adding a handful of chopped coriander leaves to the tagine, humming a tune while you worked, when strong arms snaked around your waist and a beardy kiss pressed against your temple.  You’d know the feel and smell of Bucky anywhere.

“Hey, baby!”  You smiled.  “How is Secretary Tosser?”

“You didn’t miss anything good.”  He chuckled in your ear, kissing your neck softly.  You adored that you were both still very much in love after years of being together. “He finally fired that P.A. who wrote that you called him a wanker into the meeting transcript that time.”

“No!”  You gasped.  That woman was a legend in her own right.  “That’s fucking terrible -oooo! I hate that man!”

“Relax, Rainbow Brite,” Tony appeared beside you, “I hired her this afternoon so she’ll take notes for all of our meetings with Ross when he’s here.”  He beamed, lifting the lid of your tagine and groaning with pleasure as the steam rose. “That smells amazing.” 

“Thanks boss.”  You grinned, feeling the fuzzy warmth of his praise and the dark satisfaction that Ross wouldn’t be able to bully that poor P.A. anymore.

“You made this?  Should I be worried?”  Tony feigned horror. “Barnes is still alive so your cooking can’t be all that bad-oof!”  He grunted as you flapped the back of your hand into his gut, hard. 

“Stark!”  You growled in warning.

“Okayyy, good talk.”  He bolted with a cheeky grimace.

Bucky held you tight to his chest so you couldn’t give chase and assault Tony with your wooden spoon.  “Easy, tiger.” He soothed, knowing just how to calm your fiery temper.

The team came together for dinner and you all sat on floor cushions around a low table to eat.  You had enlisted the help of Vision to create your Marrakech themed night and you had both outdone yourselves.  Cannibalising one of the conference rooms had been a stroke of genius and, in your opinion, it was a far better use for the room than boring meetings.  The dim glow of the ornate iron lanterns and the holographic fire courtesy of FRIDAY, the makeshift marquee made from brightly coloured fabrics, the smell from the food you’d made, and the soft but authentic music made you feel like you’d stepped through a portal into a souk lounge in the heart of Morocco.

“Next time, let’s not invite the others.”  Bucky murmured in your ear after you had all settled and began to eat.  “It’ll be just you and me,” he whispered, “with a movie, great food, comfy cushions, and cuddles.”

“Sounds like the recipe for a perfect night.”  You sighed, body relaxing at the thought of unwinding with him and a movie, but what movie?  You loved a high-octane action adventure film, or an epic Sci-Fi, but you also loved a good rom-com too.  As your brain filtered through all the films you had on your Netflix list, you zoned out, running on auto-pilot.

“Pardon me, Y/n?”  The words feel foreign; soft but still plenty sharp to snap you back to reality.

You’d eaten with the team, smiled at them when they’d thanked you for making a wonderful dinner, and had been clearing away dishes in a complete daze.  Across the kitchen, Bucky smirked at you from where he was piling plates into the dishwasher. That little shit knew exactly what he’d done.

“Miss y/n?”  Vision looked concerned as he laid a hand gently on your shoulder.  “Is everything alright?”

“I’m good.”  You mentally shook yourself, making a mental note to torment Bucky later, maybe make him watch that terrible mermaid show you found.  “I’m aaaalll good.”

Vision nodded curtly, pausing a moment before he addressed the reason he’d approached you in the first place.

“I’ve taken the liberty of suggesting an amendment for your tagine recipe, to increase the sauce to meat ratio while leaving the delicate balance of flavours intact.”

“Why?  What’s wrong with my recipe?” 

“Nothing is wrong.”  He smiled warmly. “A comment was made that more sauce would have been welcome.”

“More sauce, huh?”  You slid your tray of crockery onto the nearest counter and picked up a tray of baked spiced orange pastries and mint sugared pineapple pieces.  “I’ll take it under advisement.”

When you delivered dessert and settled on your cushion next to Bucky, he squeezed your thigh reassuringly as the chatter quietened while the team tucked into the delicious moist pastries.  He was about to tell you he was proud of you for not allowing your irritation to flare but he didn’t get the chance. He knew you were insecure, underneath the foul mouth and the bravado was a girl who needed reassurance that she was more than just good enough.

“So…”  You cocked your head as the eyes of the whole team fell on you.  “Which one of you bollocks thinks my chicken is dry?”  You pointed your spoon around the table starting at Sam.  “You?” He was always the first to talk shit, even if it was just a joke.  “You?” Natasha fell under your gaze.

“No one said it was dry, sweetie.”  She smiled kindly, seeing your outburst for what it was – you really needed to know you’d done a good job.  You’d felt useless being stuck at the compound while the rest of the team had meet and greets with officials.  No matter how boring they really were, you felt left out. You’d had Vision for company but he didn’t share your feelings. “I just said I’d kill for more of that awesome sauce and Vision, being the pragmatic type, figured he’d save lives and help you update the recipe.”

You huffed a little but relaxed as Bucky laid his arm across your shoulder.  “You know she likes things a bit saucy, babe.” He winked at you.

“Don’t give me that… you big winker!”  You chuckled and elbowed him in the ribs playfully.  “Earlier you said something about movies and cuddles, and I expect you to deliver.”

Bucky was up on his feet immediately, pulling you up and slinging you over his shoulder while you squealed in protest.  “If you’ll excuse us,” he addressed the room, “we have a recipe to discuss.”

“Sounds like a recipe for disaster.”  Sam scoffed around a mouthful of pineapple.

“Don’t tempt fate.”  Nat scolded.

Bucky snagged a couple of colourful cushions and whacked you with them as he carried you giggling from conference room Marrakech.  He was a man of his word and you could expect nothing but relaxation and adoration.  And, as the door of your room closed firmly, you found that you didn’t much mind spending the day apart because he was there now, and always would be.

#raesleapyearchallenge #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fan fiction #bucky barnes fluff #my writing #cloudy's writing

[what-you-dont-surrender]

S1 VS S2 Finale Analysis

Alright guys, this is a long and complicated ride so bear with me here; we’re going to analyze both finales independently first and then their final scenes together.

1x08 Analysis

We open the episode with Villanelle arguing with Irina, like a child. One thing we must keep in mind, and something that is re-emphasized through S2, is that Villanelle’s behavior is very akin to that of a spoiled kid. Think of the way she interacts with Irina (and later Gabriel); though she constantly argues and maintains her snarky personality, she treats these kids almost as equals. In contrast with how she behaves with adults, which is much more petulant.

Here we see Villanelle banter with Irina in 1x08 and her attempt at a joke about theft with Grabriel in 2x08.

Hah, Eve is rude to the staff here and Villanelle is rude to the staff in 2x08.

What is it with this show and breakfast???

“I don’t know yet, is it hard to be bad?” “Not if you practice.”

I’m unsure if this scene (food, conversation and all) is meant to mirror that of the ruins, when Villanelle is suggesting cooking for Eve, when she says they can protect themselves now. Considering after her first murder Eve doesn’t “know” yet and, should she “practice”, she can become more skilled and on par with Villanelle. Just a thought.

Anna’s apartment:

Something to go into during the lover’s analysis but noting the way Villanelle processes seeing Anna again for the first time, lingering quietly as she observes her from the back. Then we get the smile at the “Sorry Baby x” where see her fixation for Eve take over instead, followed by the ringing sound as Anna says her name. “Let me, darling,” as Villanelle processes the remnants of her feelings for Anna, she allows herself to be cared for.  

Now, the difference between Eve and Anna is that Villanelle knows Anna has never had the potential of taking someone’s life. She miscalculated once and thought that Anna would see her killing her husband as an act of love, only for Anna to reject her. All through S2 we see Villanelle sure of Eve’s potential, of an existing “us”, that Eve never denies, but is hesitant to accept. In the finale this comes to a culmination when Eve kills Raymond to protect Villanelle; it’s what she’s always wanted. Someone who would be willing to kill for her, who she could see herself in, and who would be willing to do anything to protect her as well.

But now, in Anna’s living room, years since she last saw her, Villanelle has learned to assess people and situations well enough to know she’s not in any danger even when Anna has a gun pointed at her. She also doesn’t try to shoot Anna, and I believe that to be because it requires passion she no longer has. To her, hurting a love interest is an act of love, a way to show she cares (“she did it to show me how much she cares about me/ sometime when you love someone you will do crazy things”) so to Villanelle, Anna is no longer deserving of her shooting her.

“She seduced me.”

While Villanelle goes on to accept that yes, she did in fact manipulate the situation to get with Anna, there is also a part of her that believed Anna did prey on her. And truly, regardless of Villanelle’s psychopathy, we do have to remember that it does not exempt Anna from her responsibility as an adult. She did, ultimately, give in to the seductive ways of her student. She chose to engage with a minor, while married, knowing that this minor had already been categorized as “at risk” (which, we have to note, labeling a child “at risk” is always a disservice to the child, as it pushes them further away from having a sense of community and forges the feeling of being cast-out).

“I don’t love her anymore. The thing is, I CAN kill you.”

And she really can, in that detached, uncaring, way she kills her other targets, because she’s no longer afraid of losing Anna. Anna, at this point has become eclipsed by her newest obsession. But even here, as Villanelle points the gun at Anna, it’s lazy, it’s uncaring. She’s bored and disinterested, because she no longer feels anything. “I’m sorry, but yes,” and it is in that stare that Anna realizes it’s true, and takes her own life because she’s never had the capacity to kill another person, and if she couldn’t have her, Max, or her revenge, then she has nothing left to live for.

Ultimately, Anna was not worthy enough of Villanelle killing her and her last glance at Anna’s body is more one of closure for her than of mourning.

Outside with Irina:

“I’ve decided, you’re a good person.”

I – this scene, Irina, my child, you know things. The thing about children is that they see beyond social morality, they understand the grey. This “through the eyes of a child” technique is sometimes used in books or movies to establish a new perspective (see Innocent Voices by Luis Mandoki).

“Because you’re sad and sad people are usually good.”  

At this point in the series we, as the audience, have barely been able to see any possible empathy from Villanelle, but it is through the eyes of a child, Irina, that we are invited to view things differently. In a show whose founding pillar is that of grey morality, we’re invited to view the shades of grey through a new lens: how a character internalizes their actions. For Irina, a child who is yet incapable of understanding that the world does not function in black and white/good or bad, the only way she can gauge in which label a person falls into in her world is by observing the way they process their actions. She can see beyond Villanelle’s façade because Villanelle, in all her deadly glory, still acts very much like a child. Irina can see Villanelle’s sadness, whether it stem from her own actions, her constant emptiness/boredom, or her current reality, does not matter to Irina. Despite everything she’s seen of Villanelle, if she feels so intensely, then Villanelle must be good, or have the potential for goodness. It stops being about Villanelle’s actions and more about Villanelle’s intentions and feelings. This, of course, is too much information for Villanelle to process at the time and so she disregards it with a joke about Irina being a “profound” kid (also, recall how she has a habit of deflecting when things get too emotionally charged for her).

Driving with Konstantin:

“I’m traveling to save my little daughter from a psychopath.” “From Villanelle?” “Yes”

It’s interesting to me how Eve needs to make sure that Villanelle is the person they’re talking about, when she knows Villanelle is the one holding Irina hostage and is aware that she is also considered a “psychopath”. So then, why is that piece of dialog there? What does it say about Eve, who needs a reminder/confirmation, that Villanelle is in fact a/the “psychopath” in question?

“Tell me the truth or I’ll…shoot you in the leg”

Even her threats suck at this point lol We see an Eve who has not yet allowed herself to feel past the adrenaline rush of the “what ifs”, of planning her husband’s murder for fun but would never consider harming another person to the woman who, at the thought of Villanelle being hunted down by the 12, swings an axe repeatedly at a disarmed/ injured man.

“You will get it all” (Konstantin) / “You can have everything” (Aaron)

This concept, for both Eve and Villanelle, of wanting and finally having it all (whether it’s some evil organization or riches and violence) is a theme in both finales. Acquiring their heart’s desires at the expense of the other.

“Where’s Irina” “I have it.”

Here we have a reinforcement of this I-it perspective that Villanelle has at the beginning of S1 and which the closing scene and beginning of S2 completely shake from its foundations. Here, Villanelle still views others as disposable objects.

At the café:

“Suits you”

This contrasts with Villanelle’s previous remark at Anna saying that she wouldn’t shoot her and that she doesn’t know how to use a gun. Eve obviously doesn’t know how to use one either, as she fumbles while taking the gun out of her coat pocket, and yet Villanelle determines that yes, Eve has potential. “You don’t know what to do with that,” is not meant as a jab as it lacks her usual snark, and much more of an observation, she knows that even if Eve tried to shoot her it would be clumsy and even dangerous for Irina.

“Don’t break my heart” “Don’t break mine…you either” she says to Konstantin and then at Eve, revisiting that palpable connection she feels with Eve which neither of them can understand.

“She’s really annoying/I like her/who’s your favorite?” The way we’re made to see Villanelle as being on the same relation to Konstantin as Irina is a way to form a familial bond. To Villanelle, Konstantin is the closest thing to a family she’s had in a long time. There is no sexual tension, no animosity, but something more akin to a father-daughter dynamic. Or one as close as Villanelle can have.

“I want to do my job so I can go home and have a bath.”

I don’t know why it’s so interesting to me that this is said in the S1 finale and the S2 finale’s final scene is set in the Grandi Terme ruins…the grand baths/spa/hot springs. I just wonder about Emerald Fennell’s mind, ya know? Did she plan that? On another note, this is a reminder of V’s attempt at a normal life, but we’ll hear more of that later.

“You’re romantic and you’re a good person, I think.”

Villanelle’s expressions struggle here, she’s looking at Konstantin through the frame Irina presented to her earlier, through intentions. She has spent years with Konstantin and for once is analyzing her experiences with him: him caring for her, caring for his daughter, remaining faithful to his wife, and has determined that yes; he’s a good person. But ultimately, she intellectualizes (in psychology this refers to a defense mechanism which is used to remove one’s self from the emotions attached to a given situation, leaning on our logical mind in order to avoid our feelings) and ultimately decides to shoot. We’ll come back to this later.

“Come with me, just you and me, please. Just you and me”

Can you imagine never feeling anything? Just a void and boredom, nothing else. And then one day this beautiful woman stirs something in you, it would make you curious, maybe. But then she looks at you and asks you to go with her and you actually feel something…

              Yeah, I’d be terrified too.

But let’s be honest here, why walk away from the moment? What happens in the mind of a person like Villanelle, after having just witness her first love kill herself, and her newfound obsession offering to run away with her? It doesn’t make logical sense. It is not a possible consideration to surrender the bits of normalcy she indulges in for the sake of a woman who does not know her enough to want her as she should. But she also doesn’t shoot, she leaves the door open, door that Eve follows through all the way to Paris.

We’ll stop here for 1x08, as the apartment scene is better suited for our comparison section.

2x08 Analysis

Aaron’s piazza:

Villanelle genuinely sees Raymond as a threat, hence using the safe word. She knows that there’s no way that she and Raymond won’t cross paths unless she calls off the mission as they are bound to meet during their business meeting, similarly to the previous buyers. Not only that, she also knows that if The Twelve are involved it means Eve is also in danger and in that moment, using the safe word in the only way in which she can convey it.

At the hotel:

Eve chooses to walk away from Hugo, she chooses to prioritize Villanelle’s life and safety over that of her colleague. This moment is so overdramatized in the episode, Hugo’s echoed voice, the tunnel-like effect, and then the song kicks in.

“Just like the color of my mind, I gave my heart to her, she has my heart.”

This moment in which Eve, without question, walks away from Hugo without knowing if he will survive, for the sake of reaching Villanelle, sets the tone for the choices she will make throughout the episode.

Goodness, how sneaky. Hotel Caelius. Marcus Caelius Rufus was a Roman politician around 50BC. Interesting to note, he was known to have had a love affair with a woman named Clodia Pulchra, which suffered a bitter end. So much so that she accused him later on of having poisoned her husband, whom she absolutely loathed, and whom many believed actually died by her hand. I hope this isn’t some sort of foreshadowing for S3 and Niko…

Aaron’s piazza:

“You’ll get bored with her…neither of us will ever be bored again.”

I actually really loved this scene. One of the biggest temptations to dangle in front of Villanelle is the possibility of liberating herself of the one constant in her life she cannot seem to escape, boredom. Much of her life and energy has been spent attempting to relief its ever-increasing weight, so to have Aaron offer everything and anything she could want or need to escape it, is truly the only way to create a realistic threat to the bond Eve and Villanelle share. And does she consider it?

You’re damn right she does. And can you blame her? The only thing Aaron is asking for is the one thing she has been doing for years, to kill. But this time in private, for him, no risks, the lambs brought to her for the slaughter. What better set up could she ask for, if she can have it all? But then Aaron says the one thing that snaps Villanelle out of it:

“Start now”

“You want me to kill Eve?”

“Yes”

There is a moment after she eyes the knife that her expression completely changes, here:

And when I first saw this episode it was in this moment that I knew Villanelle had decided that she wouldn’t betray Eve. Because to me, that stare is full of resignation. She’s resigning herself to giving up “everything” because up until that moment, I imagine, that she pictured this future with Eve. Why else would she turn to her, “Do you hear that, Eve? Everything.” What else could she possibly ask for that she hasn’t had before? Money, clothes, luxuries; she’s had them before Aaron. It is the moment he asks her to kill Eve that she realizes that no, it is not a worthy exchange. She would rather live with this suffocating sense of boredom, of nothingness, of emptiness, than to kill Eve. Do you see why I love this scene? Because if we’re to observe this from Villanelle’s perspective, this is an act of love.

“Do you think I’d kill you Eve?” “Yes”

Um, ouch, really? Rude.

“Do you want to watch?” “Yes”

We have our three spectrum babies in this scene, of course we get a mirror of 2x05’s “Do you want to watch?”. Remember what I talked about in that 2x07 scene where Villanelle has her revelation? About how she’s not like Aaron because he doesn’t crave human connection, but she does? One thing 2x08 does is give us an idea of where each of them are in this spectrum and how close to one another they might be. But we’ll get back to this later, it becomes more explicit in the ruins scene.

Another thing that caught my attention, Villanelle does not look away from Eve as she’s killing Aaron:

She wants Eve to watch, she always has. Villanelle has pushed this envelope since she came in close proximity to Eve; from 2x05 asking if she wanted to witness her interrogation of the Ghost, in 2x06 when she threw Amber’s escort into traffic, and now finally with Aaron. Villanelle sees this as her form of tempting Eve, thinking that perhaps constant exposure will not only desensitize her but also entice her.

I am also fairly certain that Villanelle did not intend to kill Aaron, Eve had asked her not to, after all, and she wanted to keep her word. But it is not until Aaron mentions harming Eve that V decides to kill him. Similarly, when Raymond suggest killing Eve later on is when she finally attacks him; this is where V draws the line, at Eve’s safety. She would rather kill anyone, ruin any mission, disappoint Eve, than for someone to harm her. And part of this is because she believes she’s the only one with any right to harm her, but we’ll get into this later on.

Another thing that I find interesting is the symbolism in the way she kills Aaron. When Villanelle asks Aaron if he wants to watch, he answers “yes” in a very euphoric state; the mare idea of witnessing a kill heightens his senses. Similar to:

Aaron to us, is meant to represent Villanelle before Eve; how she behaved, how she saw the world, how she rationalized her decisions, etc. So, the image of Villanelle slitting his throat while staring at Eve is meant to symbolize the assassination of who she used to be before Eve, by her own hand. All she’s let go off, the ideas of herself and of her life, that tied her down, are all things she was willing to kill, to sacrifice, in exchange for a different future.

“We would never get away from someone like that.”

What I love about this line is Villanelle’s ability to distinguish the difference between Aaron and herself in a conscious and active manner. She used to be “someone like that” so yes, she’d know that Aaron would never stop hunting them down. But this development arc, her ability to see herself as someone different, someone who no longer identifies as a detached person, makes for immense progress in her ability to re-define her idea of “self”.

“Why did I come here?” “Because you wanted to save me…and you did”

Eve is really…in shock. Her ability to process things right now is basically in the negative, so of course she’s questioning why Villanelle even asked for her when she did as she liked regardless. Eve really does not have the ability to process everything that just transpired, to see the monumental decision Villanelle just made by turning down Aaron’s proposal and by killing the person she thought to be psychologically most like herself. But Villanelle is being honest here, Eve did save her, because had it not been for Eve standing in that room with her eyes on her, chances are Villanelle might have given into temptation, might have forgotten herself.

Quick shout-out to Jodie’s facial expressions, they’re hilarious.

Apart from being an incredibly funny comedic relief, I must point out the similarities between the slap scene and the shot scene. In both instances Eve is basically freaking the fuck out to the point Villanelle can’t get a word in, so what does she do? Shock Eve to silence. I don’t know if that’s just a funny coincidence, some sort of light foreshadowing, or something substantial.

“I left Hugo bleeding to come help you…so this cannot be for nothing.” “None of it means anything, it doesn’t matter anymore.” “It matters to me.”

This is a learning moment for Villanelle. To her, there isn’t much of a meaning to life, and it’s hard to blame her when she’s been stuck in the never-ending loop of boredom and emptiness her entire life. But what she learns in this moment is that this mission really matters to Eve, she may not understand why, but she understands that it does. And really, “it matters to me” are the magic words for Villanelle when it comes to Eve. But I think at this point she’s also processing that Eve risked something that, despite her lack of understanding why, means so much to her, for the sake of ensuring her safety.

“I think I’d sleep a lot better.”

Eve, you idiot, you got off to the sound of Villanelle’s moans the night before and slept like a baby, no one believes you.

“You’re getting very sassy”

I mean, yes. The darker the Eve, the longer screen-time her beautiful loose hair gets, the sassier she becomes. Personally, I think that comes from Eve’s confidence in her dynamic with Villanelle.

“Okay!….okay.”

Man, that second “okay”, the gentleness behind it, it’s such a tender moment for her. She doesn’t get it, she really doesn’t. They could just leave right now, get as far away and safe as possible. But no, Eve is determined, and she doesn’t get why but…it matters to Eve. And if it matters to Eve then that’s all she needs to know to pursue this.

“See you soon”

There’s a little nod, half in reassurance and half in question. She’s trying to make sure Eve knows she’s going to keep her word. Because really, Villanelle could just make a run for it right now, and past-her would. But she wants to prove to Eve that she can be trusted, that she will be there when she needs her.

Carolyn:

We learn something crucial during this scene, besides plot developments, and that is that Eve hates being manipulated and will deny anyone who manipulates her. Regardless of reasons, and even though Carolyn explains/justifies killing Aaron with the catastrophic implications that him selling data would have, Eve cannot get herself to accept Carolyn’s manipulation. We also see how important honesty is to Eve, as she refuses to lie about who Villanelle was working for, not even for the sake of her own safety. Honesty is an integral part for Eve and she draws a hard line on manipulation so it is no surprise how she reacts on the finale’s closing scene.

“It’s my job to get the best out of people; Villanelle simply did what she does best and so did you. You’re the person who made this whole operation possible.” “You mean I was the pawn.”

Eve…has a really hard time taking responsibility and accepting things when she gets called out on them. Rationalization and blame displacement are her go-to coping mechanism when faced with negative consequences to her actions. Carolyn is right when she points out that Eve did exactly what she wanted to do, because it’s true. Despite other people’s repeated warnings (such as Kenny’s) she risked her, and other people’s lives by hiring Villanelle for this mission, lied about Villanelle not exhibiting attention-seeking behavior and recklessness (killing Amber’s escort), and overall shot down anyone who opposed her decision making (even her husband).

What angers Eve the most here, and perhaps about being manipulated over-all, is that it implies that the other person was able to intellectually check-mate her. Given her reaction “you mean, I was the pawn,” after Carolyn makes it clear that her actions were predictable, it shows us that, despite the fact that Carolyn is a well-aged agent, Eve’s ego cannot stomach accepting this defeat. This is reinforced at the end of the scene, where Eve tries to get the upper-hand by threatening to tell Kenny the truth, only for Carolyn to trump that retaliation swiftly. Carolyn’s actions, though cold and a clear breach of trust, make sense given the importance of the mission and in line with her character as someone who prioritizes her career, regardless of who it hurts.

“She wouldn’t do the same for you.” “You don’t know that”

Remember 2x07? “I knew she wouldn’t let me down”, “She’s just doing her job”, “She’s working for us, Hugo.” Eve’s trusts in Villanelle has gone through some major growth, she too is beginning to see Villanelle as her equal and someone worth being loyal to.

Konstantin:

“They told me not to kill him, you told me not to kill him!”

“It was not my idea…” “It never is.”

I admit this scene breaks my heart. Villanelle’s face when she realizes that everyone knew her actions were predictable, and she would undoubtably kill Aaron regardless of how much she was told not to. Her sadness at seeing that Konstantin allowed it, but also that she proved them right (“Villanelle, sit still?”) saddens her.

One thing to note is the contrast in the reactions that Villanelle and Eve have when they realize that they were manipulated by their respective uh “handlers”, per se. Whereas Eve became hostile and angry, Villanelle seemed almost heartbroken (“Don’t break my heart”/”Don’t break mine”) to know that Konstantin would allow this. We’ve talked about how, to Villanelle, Konstantin is the closest to a father figure that she’s had, we even talked about the familial relationship that the showrunners established during the “who’s your favorite” routine. So, it evidently stings when Konstantin says that yes, they’re friends, but they’re not family. In contrast to last season, where Konstantin entertains Villanelle’s childish playfulness and plays along with the father-daughter shtick, this season he sets a hard line.

“You chose your family over me?”

Because to V, the vortex she creates around those who she wants in her life should be stronger than the bonds they hold with anyone else but her. In the same manner in which she broke Eve’s familial and friendship bonds, though Eve conceded to these, she expected Konstantin to do the same. However, his relationship with her has always been one of mentor/paternal, and thus lacks the obsessive factor/ingredient needed for that attraction to hold.

Furthermore, through Villanelle’s reaction (“I wouldn’t know, mine are all dead”) we get a glimpse of the residual trauma Villanelle still carries with her from her childhood. As far as the show has told us, Villanelle had a difficult upbringing (her mother having died at a young age and her father being an alcoholic), but there is still much we do not know. What was her relationship with them like before the death of her mother? Did she have any siblings? Any other familial relations? She’s very much aware of her inability to understand this dynamic though it appears to be that she believes this lack of knowledge stems from her not having a family and not because she’s innately unable to. This leads me to wonder if she believes that the root of her antisocial behavior derives from the absence of such individuals in her childhood and, had she had them, does she believe she would have been different? It is also clear to me that The Twelve kept this from her because by isolating her they could tap into the extremes of her ASPD in an easier manner and with complete submission from her, as she had no familial bonds left.

Man, Konstantin you can’t throw the girl a bone and NOT elaborate, come on.

“We are the same.”

I mean, we knew Villanelle saw an equal in Eve, but this confirmation of seeing a reflection of herself in her is impactful and emotive. Considering that Villanelle has expressed her loneliness, her desire to have “someone to watch movies with”, hearing her fully identify with Eve says a lot about her emotions but also, how she sees herself. If we were to consider all the aspects of Eve Villanelle has seen and consider those to be things Villanelle sees in herself, it gives us a relatively clear idea of who Villanelle believes herself to be outside of her Villanelle persona, who Oksansa might be.

Raymond assassination:

“I don’t get scared.”

This is actually very common in psychopathic ASPD patients; many report an inability to feel or identify fear in themselves or others. This is suspected to be due to the reduced size of their amygdala, the structure of the brain responsible for decision-making and emotional response.

Let’s note again that Villanelle does not attack Raymond until he implies harming Eve. Villanelle decides not to play his game because, to her, Eve is too important to risk in a game of chance.

Now, here comes the moment that Villanelle chooses to manipulate Eve:

Villanelle is in control the entire time: her hands are free; she could attack or shoot him with the gun she brought. But in this moment she chooses to force Eve to kill him; she needs proof, she needs affirmation.

“She doesn’t have it in her” – he tries to put her off the thought of killing him by describing a macabre scene.

It is not until Villanelle looks close to passing out/closing her eyes that Eve finally swings because the one thing she wanted more than anything since she came in contact with Villanelle again was to keep her safe. And so, at the sight of Raymond harming Villanelle, she swings.

Let me just note, I love the implication of a bloody baptism.

“I don’t know, do I?”

It’s her first kill, so Villanelle will teach her, she will guide her: “pull it out, hit him in the head,” she instructs as she holds him down. Like a lioness teaching a cub. 

“I’m sorry,” Eve’s moral compass is still fighting to dominate her cognitive mind.

“Don’t think,” because if she does her moral compass will take over and she will subdue her darkness again.

“Please, I have children.”

This is, perhaps, the most prevalent examination of psychopathy in this show, the one of empathy. Villanelle fails it every time because she does not feel empathy for most people with the exception of Eve and maybe Gabriel. Raymond uses this to prove that Eve is not like Villanelle and she will succumb to her morality and empathy (I’m also fairly certain he was sure this would guarantee his safety). But as we know, Eve’s morality is grey.

“Imagine he’s a log,” because if she can separate his humanity and picture him into a thing, an I-it relationship will form, similarly to how V sees her victims.

Villanelle’s expression at the sight of Eve killing Raymond: euphoric.

There is the initial surprise and relief, quickly overcome by euphoria. Perhaps one of the greatest signs of Villanelle’s love blossoming, as she is affirmed here that she chose correctly. That this woman would kill to protect her, that she could and would cross that threshold for Villanelle, if for no one else. She has never felt more loved, perhaps, than here. It is a darkness no one has joined her in, not even Anna.

Villanelle takes care of Eve by taking off the bloodied shirt – holds her, embraces her, to help ground her and make her feel safe. Eve instinctually drifts into her arms; she wants and accepts Villanelle’s comfort because she’s the one who knows how to do this.

The slow-motion effect and high ringing we see next is most likely Eve dissociating due to the shock but might be used cinematically to convey the slow opening of the door to Eve’s darkness; a new setting, a new mental state. The only voice she can focus on at this point is Villanelle’s. As they keep walking, we see them in a dark tunnel as Eve asks Villanelle where they are and if she knows the way out, which I take was probably used to reflect Eve’s mental path.

Eve is the one to find the exit, then proceeds to tear down the wooded panels blocking the way out. If we take the tunnel to represent Eve’s mental journey it is possible this symbolizes the end of the birth of her darkness. Whereas just a few minutes ago she was weak, stumbling, nauseous and asking to slow down, now she’s invigorated and strong, cursing as she takes the planks down. Even Villanelle takes note of this, surprised and a bit taken a back, because she did not expect this. She is genuinely concern because yes, she expected Eve to be overwhelmed, but not for this to be her form of expression.

Then we have the domesticity following a kill; the possibility of what they could have.

“We’d be normal” – because all Villanelle wants is someone to watch movies with.

It is only after Villanelle’s startled by the doves that she takes out the gun, instinctively.

“Doesn’t matter” Villanelle knows it does

“How did it feel?” “Wet”

Because the truth is, after the shock wore off, which it wore off rather quickly if I might add, Eve didn’t feel much. She uses a detached descriptor – wet. Could be rain, could be the shower spray, could be blood, it didn’t matter. Wet. And Villanelle recognizes that:

“I’m proud of you.”

“You made us safe.”

Because now, to Villanelle, Eve is finally on equal standing. It is no longer just potential, it is kinetic. Now Eve has shown what she can do, now they both know it, now their pact is sealed; they can protect each other.

“I’m going home.”

I find it interesting how Eve’s go to response when she’s under stress is home. It’s not Niko though, because when she’s there she’s not present with him, it’s her physical home. Her safe space, where she can ruminate through her thoughts. What I do wonder, however, if Niko’s role as her anchor, now being empty, will affect Eve’s ability to center herself in her own house come S3?

Eve asserts herself, “yes I can/ no”, because if there is one thing she cannot stand is being manipulated.

And now comes the last and most important part of this analysis (thank you if you’ve made it this far), the closing scenes.

Villanelle’s heartbreak:

“What do you think is happening here?”

Villanelle’s throat flexes, trying to control her anger, because this – well, this is all too familiar. She shakes her head, tries to remember this is Eve, not Anna.

“Bonnie and Clyde” – “Stop it”

Because no, she doesn’t want that. She wants normal, she wants someone who will watch movies with her, but someone who holds that darkness too. Someone she can trust to make the decision to kill when needed. Someone who won’t have a panic attack and apologize to the man she’s hacking at. She wants normal, not throat-slitting, she wants safe.

 “You want me to be a mess, you want me to be scared”

But she really, really, doesn’t, Eve. She wants you to be collected. She wants you to be calculative. You’re the one who wants to be a mess and scared, you wish you were. After the initial shock wore off Eve was no longer afflicted. And perhaps it’s this that makes her push Villanelle away, because she was the catalyst. Because Eve’s worked her entire life to hold herself together, she’s fought to keep that darkness reeled in, but set it free when she feared Villanelle would be harmed, be taken from her. Only to find out that Villanelle manipulated her, forced her into something she was not prepared for. I think part of her anger stems from all the work she’s put in to not submit to her darkness going to waste, but also not having a say on how and when she finally embraced it. Because something that should have been an empowering delicacy was a stressful, traumatic, and bitter affair instead.

“I’m like you now, I’m not afraid of anything” and Villanelle steps back.

The dark tones of the background music kick in, because yes, here’s Eve’s darkness. “This is what you wanted,” in a whisper, almost seductive, “This is what YOU WANTED!” because yeah, she did. And Villanelle gave up all the things she had left to give it to her. When she saw Eve struggling, suffocating under her own determination to force herself into a box, she reached out to help her. Because Eve may have never been strong enough on her own to succumb, and Villanelle knew that. “This is what you wanted,” almost begging, asking her to recognize it, but Eve is not ready for that, much less when she has a way to rationalize and someone else she can assign blame to. What she needed was not to be forced to kill, but to have no absolute option but to. To want it, to enjoy it. If she can make a scapegoat of Villanelle, she will.

Love:

And as she fears losing her hold on her V plays her final card in an act of desperation:

“You love me” / “You like me too much”

“No” – tones of disbelief, how can she when Villanelle did the one thing she cannot stand?

“I love you”

“No” – said more sudden, forceful, because if she did then she wouldn’t have done this.

“You don’t understand what that is.”

This sentence… -sighs- Give me a minute, I need a minute…Okay, this sentence really bothers me. Admittedly, it’s in character for Eve to lash out when she’s angry, but there is only one other instance in which she delivers such a low blow to someone and its:

“I know you care about me; we all know you care about me, sometimes I think it’s all you have.”

To be clear, if Villanelle says she loves Eve then her feelings are valid, similarly to how Eve’s feelings of anger and frustration at being manipulated are valid. What I abhor about that line is that I’m sure many viewers will take that idea with them, that Villanelle truly doesn’t love Eve. Particularly, that there is a correct way to love. Eve can’t say that Villanelle doesn’t know what love is because love is an abstract concept, it does not follow one singular definition, nor does it have one unique way of being felt and expressed. Everyone has different ideas of what love entails and demands, what they need to feel it, and how they express it. Moreover, Eve knows that she’s got her thumb on a sore spot for Villanelle. Her implications are clear: you don’t know what that is because you a “psychopath”, you can’t feel those things, don’t be a fool.

“You’re mine.”

And there it is, folks, ownership. While I refused to play into the concept that Villanelle’s idea of love revolves solely around ownership, what I can agree on is that this is a warped idea in her mind that skews her understanding of love.

And here comes the iron curtain: Villannelle shuts down, detaches, her eyes grow distant.

“I thought you were special.”

“Sorry to disappoint.” – her voice breaks, because she truly is, she truly wanted to be the one, but not like this.

Shoot to kill:

Now, the question here is Villanelle’s intent. There are two meaningful shots from Villanelle in the entire series so far: one is at Konstantin in 1x08 and the other in 2x08 at Eve. Out of these two Villanelle has only shot to kill once, at Konstantin, as it is specifically stated in 2x03:

“I aimed to make sure I didn’t kill you!” “No you didn’t, you aimed my heart.” “…yeah, I did. Nice and clean, just like you taught me.”

And this is because even though Villanelle begins to develop the capacity to feel during the end of S1, she’s still not able to understand what those feelings are. As a matter of fact, most of Villanelle’s character growth took place in S2 and was directly caused as a result of Eve’s stabbing. It was the catalyst. At the end of S1 Villanelle was not yet capable of forging ties and bonds with people in the manner that she became capable of in S2, and so, when she was placed in a situation where she had to choose between her quality of life and killing Konstantin it was a done deal. Was it easy? Not exactly, we see the way she stalls with “You’re a romantic and you’re a good person,” the way her face twitches and her eyes water as she stares and, I believe, feels a level of sadness, however small. But again, she isn’t psychologically or emotionally capable of forming permanent ties in S1 just yet, so she intellectualizes her situation and shoots, with the explicit intention of killing her target. If not for Irina’s struggling, her shot would’ve successfully disposed of Konstantin. But then, if we know Villanelle shoots to kill, why are we faced with this parting shot at the end of 2x08:

A side shot. A side shot very well positioned to mirror:

And from here we enter the next and most vital section: love language.

It goes without saying that Villanelle and Eve have a volatile relationship, an all-consuming vortex that sucks everything in their life in and leaves them empty, with nothing else but each other.

In 1x08 we hear Sigh by Unloved begin to play right as Eve is looking through Villanelle’s apartment, and I love this because the lyrics always play right before either of them do something rash in response to the other as stimuli. Right as the last “There’s something about the way you are that makes me…” begins to fade out Eve begins thrashing the apartment.

It is the conversation that follows that serves as a foundation for what would become their volatile dance in S2:

“So, you trash my apartment because you like me so much?”

“I know it’s not conventional”

V smiles here because, well, she’s not conventional either.

“What do you want? Honestly. Don’t be a dick.”

“Normal stuff,” she says with a frown because, what else is she supposed to want? “Nice life, cool flat, fun job, someone to watch movies with.”

And then we have the iconic bed scene:

Don’t give me your heart, I can’t take it. Don’t give me your smile, I can’t break it.

(Man, I really want to do a music score analysis, can you tell?)

“Are you going to kill me?”

-shakes head-

“Promise?”

“Promise.

Really, how did we expect Villanelle to kill Eve when she promised not to?

And then, just as Villanelle is about to lean in

Well, you know. Anyways, it isn’t until Villanelle says “I really liked you” that Eve snaps out of it and tries to help her.

It is then no coincidence that we see this in 2x01

“I think I might’ve killed her.”

If this doesn’t establish their love language, I don’t know what does.

You see, the thing about VillanEve is that violence is their love language. Rashness, impulsivity, tension, fear, intimidation; these are all the factors that make their only mode of communication. Do they occasionally enjoy the intimacy? The tender moments of openness? Yes, but they have yet to develop the ability to adequately communicate, and thus all their meaningful messages are sent in violent manners. The first time Eve demanded honesty she offended Villanelle’s ability to perform her job, a job that is very much part of her identity. The first time Villanelle demanded respect she asserted her power (I like you, but I don’t like you that much) and reminded Eve of her so called “normalcy”. Every important aspect of their relationship has been built upon by either lashing out, threatening, or harming one another. This is a language that Villanelle speaks, and one that Eve is drawn to but has yet to accept as part of herself. (We see this displayed in 1x06, where she slaps and pushes Niko, then waits for him to react, only for him to tell her “You don’t want that in your life.”)

So, why did Villanelle shoot Eve?

To Villanelle, one of Eve’s most significant signs of love was that stab wound, only followed by Eve finally killing someone for her. She’s aware that she has tainted that for Eve, she may not understand why, but she understands Eve is no longer willing to accept a future with her after being manipulated. She knows that the only other act of love between them, the one Eve gave her herself, might be the only possible act that can salvage their bond. If she and Eve are truly the same (which she has bet her entire life on, so you better believe she believes that completely) then returning the act should prove to Eve that her love is real.

So, she shoots. Not to kill, to prove something, and she does it in the exact same place to ensure Eve gets the message. Eve has always loved the hidden messages Villanelle would leave her on her victims, now she can have one herself. Let’s also note that Villanelle waits until she’s sure Eve’s walking away, until she’s certain Eve is rejecting her. Part of me is certain that V might not have been able to shoot otherwise, not even with her steel eyes and the way she detaches as she prepares, it would pain her too much.

In closing:

Something I’ve seen in the fandom over the past week has been a lot of confusion and overall hostility towards either of these two characters and I’m convinced that stems from a lack of understanding, really. We all know they’re meant to have an unconventional relationship but I think knowing that and actually understanding what that means are two very different things.

Villanelle should not have manipulated Eve into killing Raymond, that’s unquestionable. Even if Eve really had longed to release that part of her, it wasn’t Villanelle’s place to make the decision if and when she finally did kill someone. It’s a very personal thing, a part of Eve coming into herself, that she had no control over, but was forced to cave under. What’s more, I think in a way, there’s a short-sightedness to Villanelle’s decision to manipulate Eve, which only serves to highlight her impatience.

Eve should not have projected unto Villanelle ideas that clearly went against the very things Villanelle had conveyed to her. Just a few minutes before Villanelle had been talking about making dinner, getting a cabin for them in Alaska, and how beautiful the sights were. Sure, she mentioned that they could keep themselves safe now, but what she had described, more than anything, was normalcy. I admit, I was impressed with how well Villanelle was able to control her anger during this part of the argument, because I think it became even evident to her what Eve was doing.

Eve also shouldn’t have invalidated Villanelle’s declaration of love because no one has the right to do that to anybody regardless of the circumstance. It’s not a matter of right or wrong, it’s a matter of fallaciousness. Emotions and their concepts are complex and unique to each individual, no one can say someone else doesn’t feel the way they claim to feel because it doesn’t make it any less real. It also makes sense that Villanelle thinks love is somehow tied to ownership given that she’s never truly felt genuine care and affection, as far as we’re aware. The first woman she loved was an adult married woman who basically used her as a mistress. She was the hidden lover, the one who Anna would never trade her safe and comfortable life for, but happily have behind closed doors. It makes sense that the closes thing to understanding love is through I-it relationships because it’s all she had before Eve came along. Of course she wants to own Eve, she likes to own things that make her feel. It’s not that she consciously wants to treat Eve as an item, it’s that it’s her only form of expressing it with the emotional language she already knows. Remember what one of the traits of people with ASPD can be? The inability to feel (strongly, or at all), identify, convey, and/or express emotions.

I truly do think Villanelle loves Eve, she just doesn’t know how to properly convey it or express it.

I mean, this woman gave up everything. She gave up her job, she gave up the riches Aaron offered her, she risked her life. She held back from harming Niko despite it being her natural urge. It’s pretty taught to imagine that the person who, up until now, only cared about herself would do such a thing for no emotionally significant reason.

Eve, though, still has a lot of things about herself to process, she did during most of the season, but in order to do so she must allow herself to feel all of those feelings and thoughts she keeps repressing. She loves to find ways to distract herself from ever having to process anything (from work to buying a ton of windows from a telemarketer), she constantly uses blame displacement when she’s overwhelmed (poor Kenny felt the brunt of this this season), she rationalizes all of her actions even when there is no logic to her decision making.

I also do think Eve either loves, or is falling in love with, Villanelle. But I think right now she has so much to process that she just doesn’t know what she feels so she’s letting her idea of what she thinks she “should” and “shouldn’t” feel from Villanelle make decisions for her that she will later regret. I think that, as she turned to walk away from Villanelle, she had an idea of what the risk was, but she felt like she had to set hard boundaries with her and this was the only way to do so.

All in all, the finale seems to be, to me, a culmination of all the things they need to work on if they ever want to make their relationship work. Neither of them is in a place where they can actively communicate, where they can be vulnerable with each other and talk about their feelings, what they want, and how they want to get there. Until they’re both able to address these different unhealthy aspects of themselves they won’t be able to develop a productive and stable (and I mean stable in their sense, not what is commonly perceived to be “stable”) relationship. They’re both going to keep assuming the other to be either the person they want them to be or the person they’re afraid they are. And I say this because, while it is true that Eve has dark aspects to her psyche, she may very well not be suitable for assassinations. She may never be fit to repeat that event, maybe she never was meant to, and Villanelle will have to ask herself if she’s okay with that. In the same manner, Eve will have to ask herself if she’s capable of putting aside her fears that Villanelle can only have I-it relationships, stop assuming that Villanelle is her diagnosis, and actually see her for who she really is. As for their love language, while it would certainly be convenient both for them and our hearts if they could learn another way to communicate (I fear the fandom may have a collective mental breakdown if one of them tries to kill the other again), it may or may not change. I think it will be S3’s job to determine if this is indeed a language they can both agree in, and if it is, we should be prepared for more mutual violence. In that scenario, each act of violence would be a demonstration of passion and thus, its secession would be what we would dread. However, if they are able to develop healthy and productive communication skills then there may still be the possibility of normalcy for these two women.

@gaymessonmain, its a lot, I know lol

#killing eve #villanelle #eve polastri #villaneve

[sprydecreates]

‘babylove’?

requested: nope

warnings: nothing this is really cute (language is a given at this point)

pairings: tom holland x reader

type: fluff ; headcanon/list ; 2k+ words ; gender neutral

summary: it's the first time you visit the holland's at their home in london, and you're trying your hardest to impress everyone. you aren't tom's lover just yet, but it's obvious that you two fancy each other.

disclaimer: the depictions of tom holland and the holland family in this are of my own imagination. none of this is real!

a/n: another oldie of mine refurbished and posted here! back when my writing was Decent LOL.

p.s., the dialog isn’t like it is with my latest ones as in y/n gets italics and bold n everyone else just gets italics. it’s just emphasized when need be, and i thought it was alright that way. srry if it bothers anyone who reads my newer stuff!! adding in a disclaimer from now on too. never got someone thinking something was real, but it’s good to be prepared :-)

also, when i put things in parentheses, it's usually me putting in my reactions.

"PIP PIP 'N CHEERIO GOVENAH!"

"y/n we don't actually say that"

"tom, i have to get myself situated. with the boiling tea and crumpet chip biscuit whatevers.”

YEEHAW. you're traveling to meet tom's family back in london.

you've met harry, sam, and harrison already, but there were still three very important people to meet

you had met tom through a mutual actor friend who brought you on set one day

obviously it went like a fairy tale

your friend left you alone on set while they went to get snacks for you both

tom seen you, and came to tell you that only actors could be on set at that time

causing you to freak out, because UH, spider-man is speaking to you (ohMygOd, it'spEterparker)

which of course made tom cocky, and he was like "ayyyyy baby i'll give u an autograph"

then your friend came back and officially introduced you two

and tom saying "you're friends with y/f/n? i'm so sorry"

"i know. it's tragic."

"you two are perfect for each other" with an eye roll

so to say the least, you and tom had sparks from the beginning

not to mention the backhanded, sarcastic compliments that often lead to flirty and witty comebacks

"you're cute, for 5′8″.

"good thing you have a good personality because that outfit today was... :/"

"just wait until i see you again. you're dead, holland"

"well why don't you come over right now and show me what you'd do?”

going over to play wrestle until you dominate him and straddle his hips while your breath is hitched and he'd just look up at you like "holy fuck"

with the whole banter situation taking place, it kind of shocked you when tom asked you if you wanted to visit his family with him

like, REALLY took you off guard

because this was really domestic of him, and he hadn't really ever showed that side to you

but nonetheless, you took the opportunity

took a bit of persuading to get your family to allow you, but eventually, everyone agreed.

(boy it's a good thing you got that passport that you totally didn't get for the sole purpose of this occurring)

"as long as you call every morning and night, and text when necessary. and take pics."

lots of preparation through facetime

"i heard it's really fuckin' cold in england. should i pack a parka?"

"y/n it's not that cold. plus you won't need two."

"what do you mean i won't need two if i-"

in a thick accent "peta parka."

"...."

deep sigh

"can i get a refund for my ticket"

"don't think so, love" in a soft laughing tone

(AAAAHHHHHH)

after two or so weeks of packing and unpacking, and checking the checklist fifty times, it was finally time to depart to southwest london, darling

this boy got first class tickets for the both of you

or at least that's what he thought

he actually only got one for himself lmao

so instead, he swapped seats with the person beside you

oh my god shy hand holding on the plane would be expected

also cute little candids that would go up on each others instagrams wow

fast forward to arriving at the holland home

p.s., the entire car ride there was filled with little thigh touches to try and calm you down.

but that only made you more nervous because god have mercy this beautiful boy wasn't trying to act funny or anything like he usually acted, he was being genuine and that made your heart full

once at the door, you were greeted by nikki, dom, and a very excited tessa

"hello love! it's so nice to meet you! tom has told us SOOO mu-"

"DAD!!!!" would be said between clenched teeth while he would be blushing

with red cheeks of your own, you'd walk in to see the two brothers you had previously met, and a new face, who you recognized as paddy

sam and harry would say hello, but paddy would whisper yell to one of the brothers, "is that who tom calls his 'babylove'?"

both you and tom would just stand there, his jaw would drop and one of your eyebrows would raise up

and you'd turn to tom with a huge smile and just whisper "babylove?"and he'd blush even harder and be like "let me show you to your room!!!!!!!!!”

he'd bring you upstairs and into the guestroom so you could put your stuff up

then you'd follow him to his old room, and you'd sit on his bed and just have a look around while he piled his clothes into a hamper

hear me out

there would be little spider-man symbols across the wall, with some football flags strung up every so often

and you'd be like "you really weren't lying about your obsession with spidey, huh?"

and he'd come and sit beside you and shrug while looking at his old decorations

you'd lean in and give him a lil kiss on the cheek before saying "it's really cute, tom." and he'd immediately light up and become a shy baby

then you'd hear footsteps coming up the stairs, and you'd pull away from each other with cute little grins

sam would look in and be like "mom wants to know what ya want for dinner"

and tom would turn to you and be like "well?"

and you'd insist that he choose, since he hasn't been home in awhile

he'd say something he heard you talking about wanting to try

sam would leave and then you'd just nonchalantly grab tom's hand and follow sam down

once down there, you'd be met by the family, minus nikki and sam who would venture into the kitchen

you'd let go of tom's hand, and sit by paddy on the couch

little conversations would start up from dom

literally just things like "so tom said you can sing" and "tom said you guys met through a friend of yours?"

he wouldn't even have to ask you questions directly because tom has told them virtually everything because the boy was swoon as fuck

but after a little while of tom and the rest of the family in sight getting caught up, you decided to slip out of view yourself and join nikki and sam in the kitchen

a "hey sweetheart! whatcha need?" coming from nikki

but you'd be like "i just wanted to know if you guys wanted an extra hand?"

sam would be like "hell yea y/n knows how ta cook"

but nikki would be like "that's alright, it's our pleasure to treat a guest of tom's! thank you though, that's really sweet"

so you'd walk back into the living room after a few "are you sure?"'s

and dom would be like "kicked out of the kitchen?" with a small laugh

and you'd answer with "yeah. you holland's are stubborn."

which would definitely make tom pout, and your response would be to pat his cheek and say "pouting wont exclude you," followed with a quiet "babylove." while you dropped your hand

some time passed before nikki and sam returned, and nikki said dinner would be ready in about thirty minutes

those thirty minutes consisted of the family sharing embarrassing stories about tom

and him eventually hiding his red cheeks in the crook of your neck (sweet god)

soon, the timer went off and everyone made their way into the kitchen and got their plates

tbh i see the family taking all the seats around tom, so you'll get to sit in between dom and nikki

(i'd love that holy shit)

after dinner, you helped wash the dishes. that earned major brownie points from nikki and sam

it was getting kind of late, so the family suggested watching a movie or two together

oh my god tom would take you upstairs again and tell you to change into your pajamas because that was a tradition for movie night

wearing batman pajama bottoms knowing it would tease him

him refusing to let you go downstairs before changing into a pair of his spider-man bottoms

giving in once he gives you the puppy dog eyes while his forehead is pressed against yours

watching some sort of proper english movie because it was your first time visiting

angus, thongs and perfect snogging came into mind

harry loudly asking if you and tom ever snogged like that

cuddling with tom under a big blanket

when the family started to get a little drowsy, they decided to call it a night

everyone started to head upstairs, and you and tom did the same after grabbing a few snacks and some drinks

once in his room, you'd sit on his bed and just smirk at him until he'd ask what was up

and you'd immediately be like "what's up with this lovey dovey side of you? you usually act like a sarcastic shit around me"

he'd just look down and press his hand against the nape of his neck and mumble "i like you"

and you'd say "well i got that part awhile ago"

but he'd sit there for a few seconds, trying to think of a way to say what he had in mind. he finally sighed and spoke out to you, "i mean, i think i'm falling in love with you"

and you'd sit there with your lips parted, and your eyes darting back and forth between his

he'd start to blabber on about how it was just a strategy that he used because he didn't know how to show you how he really, truly felt

and you'd cut him off, and say "can i kiss you?"

and a few seconds of silence would take place before he would cup your cheeks and empty all the passion he held in his body out in one single kiss, while you would do the same

after you both pull away, he'd lower his hands and you'd both just sit and stare at each other

you'd raise your hand up and cup his cheek and rub your thumb across his cheekbone

eventually, you would say you're tired, and press a small kiss against his lips before getting up and heading for the door

"goodnight, thomas."

"goodnight, y/full/n."

shutting the door and doing a happy dance all the way to the guest room

it's sunday morning, and you couldn't get any more sleep in due to the kiss from the night before still swimming through your memory

finally deciding on getting up and cooking breakfast for everyone to return all the love you were given the day before

carefully sneaking down to the kitchen

taking a long ass time to find all the ingredients you initially needed (oils, other stuff)

googling measurement equals because what american knows european measurements off the tom of their head

deciding on making some fancy omelette roll ups you once had with your actor friend

taking so much time to make everything perfect

when you finished making the omelette's, along with some other sides, you would set everything out for easy serving, and then you would head upstairs again

since it was a sunday, everyone slept in

you'd gently knock on everyone's door, and say breakfast was waiting for them downstairs

but when you got to tom's door, you'd softly knock before heading on in

tom would be sleeping on the side of the bed that faced the window, and you would walk over to that side and crouch down

you would subconsciously lay your bent arm on the bed by toms face, and lay your head on your arm. you'd raise your free hand up to toy with a few loose curls while you looked over his features

he'd eventually wake up, and smile in a way that was really wide, but evidently tired

he would kiss your forehead and say "what a good way to wake up; an angel playing with my hair." you'd giggle really quietly and stand up while saying "c'mon, babylove. i've made breakfast."

and he'd pull you down onto the bed with him, and pepper little kisses against your shoulders, collarbones, neck, and cheeks before pressing a lingering kiss to your lips!!!

while he rested his forehead against yours, you decided to confess something you totally forgot to last night, "by the way," you'd say in a really soft voice while swiping a messy curl from his temple, "i think i'm falling in love with you, too."

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fic #tom holland hc #tom holland list #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shot #tom holland blurb #sprydecreates th

[imaginationlane]

The Assistant [Part 7 of ? // Bill Skarsgard x Reader Imagine]

Warnings: Adult Language / Themes, Angst, Sexually Suggestive References & Minimal Gore References (in relation to a dream / nightmare sequence).

Author’s Notes:  Because I know that a lot of you have been waiting forever for this, I am back and I am so sorry for the wait. This chapter was supposed to be posted a little while ago, but I wanted to tweak it as this chapter will be important, and has major plot developments -- that will have an effect on future chapters. Plus, the wonderful, talented and amazing @andthereisawoman just recently created a new cover for this fic for me -- that I can’t stop marveling at! How wonderful is this new cover, guys? I’m in love, and I’ve officially found my forever cover lol. 

As for this chapter: I will say this, it opens up with a dream / nightmare sequence in Bill's POV -- and the nightmare sequence alone has given me the most hell with this chapter. You guys have no earthly idea how much of a fight that this one scene gave me, for an entire year lol. 

Also, the nightmare sequence sort of plays into the fact that Bill admitted shortly after the first IT movie came out, that he had nightmares for a few weeks after filming. While this nightmare will not be centric to the IT film in any way, I can say that the stress of playing such a complex character, and well... an affair, are heavily contributing factors in this scene in the story. 

Finally, I’d like to give a big “thank you” to @theswedishblonde for her time in translating several of these dialog lines into Swedish for me. I really and truly, couldn’t do this without their help, and I sincerely appreciate the time they afford to me, whenever I need their help! 

I’d also like to publicly thank @poeedamerons & @greenofallshades for literally putting up with my incessant back and forth on this nightmare sequence -- for the past year on Whatsapp lol. Also not tagged (because she’s not here on Tumblr), but no less important, Tav!

Musical Inspiration: I Still Wait For You by: XYLO

Missed the previous chapters and need to catch up? Please check out The Assistant -- Masterlist, here.

Summary:

A night out on the town for a few drinks, was all I had signed up for. But in reality… I got way more than I had ever bargained for when my boss and close personal friend, Bill Skarsgard, asked me to join him during a wrap party that the crew was hosting that night. In hindsight, I should have seen this coming. After all, we were both having issues in our own respective relationships and for some reason, we had found it easier to just confide in each other – rather than in our own significant others. Yet in the end, do the reasons ever truly matter when you begin an affair with your friend who also happens to be your boss? I often ask myself just how selfish could we be; he and I? The answer is: we’re completely selfish and neither of us really cares if this secret burns us alive – because it’s within each other, that we have finally found the things we had been looking for the whole time…

___

Stockholm, Sweden --

Feather-light kisses sprinkled themselves carelessly, all over Bill's shoulders and chest, as he began to stir out of his sleep. Gently luring him out of his serene slumber, a pressing weight could be felt on top of him, as he shifted his body to stretch out on the mattress slightly. Soon enough though, those sweet innocent kisses that he felt tickling against his skin, turned into open-mouthed pecks; leaving a small trail of saliva exposed to the open air. Closer and closer, the affectionate kisses drifted towards his mouth before finally -- Bill opened one eye and peeked at the woman who was adorning his body so tenderly with affection, this morning. Y/N's hair was marginally messy, but in spite of that minuscule detail, she was still a vision of absolute beauty to him. A content sigh filtered through his nose, while a peaceful smile inched its way across his face.

"Good morning to you too," he mumbled gingerly, as she peered up at him and returned his smile with one of her own.

"Mmmm... Good morning baby."

He could tell by her voice that she was perfectly happy, and had probably been awake a little longer than he had. In this perfect moment, there were no worries and absolutely no stress; it was just tranquil bliss. Everything with her was so easy. It always had been, and he was legitimately sorry that it had taken him so long to see it; yet, it was undeniable to him that he was happy that he had finally gotten out of his own way -- and made her his.

Streams of golden sunlight poured through the flimsy and airy curtains, while a gentle breeze blew into the room from the cracked bedroom window. Their home was one he didn't completely recognize, but instinctively, he knew it was theirs. It was a perfect late spring morning, and he could almost smell the scent of freshly cut grass lingering in the air. The tranquilizing sound from the wind chimes outside, meandered throughout the room, as he took a deep breath in from his nostrils; feeling the air expand in his chest. He could smell her faint perfume from the night before; and it instantly made him want her in the worst way -- all over again. Judging from her actions, however, he deduced that he wasn't the only one in the mood again this morning.

Grabbing her face with both hands, he pulled Y/N up towards him -- closing the gap between them and kissed her ever so affectionately. Bill could feel her relax into his warm embrace; coxing out a renewed spark of passion from him. Her breathy little moan, virtually undid him right then and there as his tongue intertwined with hers. Before he knew it, he pushed her down on the bed and hovered over her perfect body that he couldn't get nearly enough of. Y/N broke the kiss just long enough to pull her tank top over her, and Bill was more than pleased to assess that she wasn't wearing a bra. For a moment, he closely contemplated telling her that there was a new rule between them: She was no longer allowed to wear any bras. It had to be considered a crime against nature to keep something as magnificent as her breasts, hidden under such an annoying and burdensome garment.

Returning his attention to the task at hand, Bill's lust-filled eyes wandered back to the gorgeous woman in his arms; a woman he simply couldn't function without -- no matter how hard he tried. Her breath came out as ragged pants and gasps, as he continued kissing her neck and working his way down to her perfectly shaped peaks.

"As much as I'm enjoying this attention, and trust me Bill, I'm enjoying the hell out of this -- I did leave our breakfast on the stove," she hummed softly, hoping to divert his attention away from his task.

Begrudgingly, he pulled away; not wanting to actually stop just yet -- but willing to do so if she insisted.

"Is it still cooking or is it already made, and just waiting on us? Because if it's already done, I don't see why we just can't keep going," he chuckled lightly, causing her to giggle as well. Gingerly, she pushed him back once more.

"It's still cooking, babe. I just came in here to wake you up. But I'll make you a deal... I'll go finish preparing the rest of our breakfast, without my top on -- and you can even watch. Deal?"

He had to admit, the promise of watching her prepare breakfast topless, was a tempting prospect indeed.

"Fine," he sighed tiredly, moving off towards the side and allowing her to get up. Y/N slid off of the bed, leaving her shirt abandoned on the floor; just as she had previously promised with a wicked little glint in her eyes.

"Get up slowpoke, you don't want to miss out on this..." She teased back, hoping to coax him out of bed faster.

Bill smirked at her; stretching his long limbs across the bed as he watched her tiptoe out of the bedroom. The muscles in her back flexed elegantly, while she made her way out the door and into the hallway -- closing the bedroom door behind her. Running a hand over his face, he laid there for a moment trying to collect himself before heading out to join her. After all, she did leave him in a semi-hard state, and he was tempted to follow her out there and bend her over the kitchen counter to take care of this pesky problem. Smirking to himself, he couldn't get over how lucky he felt in that moment. She was here, with him, and there was nothing in this world that could kill this joyous feeling he felt. Everything felt whole and right within the world.

Y/N was perfect in every single way, and she was finally his. He had been waiting for what seemed like an eternity for this; and If the rest of his life would play out this way, then Bill found himself hard-pressed to find anything to complain about...

Throwing the covers off of his slender, yet muscular body, he sat straight up and tossed his legs off the side of his bed -- running his right hand through his messy bed hair. The moment his bare feet touched the floor, it was only then that he noticed the entire floor was soaked through with murky water. Finding himself absolutely perplexed by this, he leaned his head off to the side -- trying to discern what exactly was going on.

"Y/N? Why is the floor all wet?" He curiously called out to his lover.

However a moment or two went by, and there was no response at all; which was highly unusual.

"Y/N?" He hollered out once more, hoping to grab her attention. And yet again, there was no reply.

Now, Bill was finding himself feeling apprehensive at the situation.

Where the hell was she?

Soon thereafter, he gave up hope that she would even return to their room; so he stood up and proceeded to walk over towards the bedroom door; all the while, dirty water sloshed around his feet -- causing him to grimace. But it wasn't until the very second, once he opened that wooden bedroom door, that he knew something was inherently and terribly wrong.

It took more than a moment for the sights, sounds and smells to genuinely register within his mind; regardless, once they did – there was truly no mistaking the atrociously horrifying scene that laid before him. Everything that had once resembled the hallway in their shared home, was gone. Instead, it looked as if either a bomb had gone off, or a storm had come through and ripped their home to shreds. Large parts of the wall were either cracked, knocked over and completely blackened. Broken picture frames were either smashed on the floor, with glass shattered like intricate spider webs in the frames or hanging lopsided on the only parts of the walls that were left standing. Wires that were once hidden away, out of sight and out of mind, were now exposed and dangling carelessly from the ceiling; and randomly placed holes seemed to have appeared in different parts of that very same roof -- from out of nowhere. Electrical sparks shot freely from the exposed wires and flew only a few precious feet ahead; their loud pops and bright flashes caused him to jump back violently and turn his face away momentarily.

For the life of him, he couldn't figure out what had happened or even how he had even missed it happening. He should have heard the unmistakable sounds of his house being ripped apart, shouldn’t he? None of it made any sense, and he was left second-guessing himself on if he was actually seeing all of this.

"What the f..."

He couldn't even finish his sentence before the shock finally began to set in, and the bone-crushing chill in the air made the hairs on his arms stand at attention. Something wasn't right about this, and now, he was beginning to feel afraid for both himself and Y/N. Eventually, he took a hesitant step forward, causing the water that swished around his bare feet to echo slightly in the darkened and damaged corridor. Once he took another step ahead though, the bedroom door that he had just walked out of slammed shut behind him with a resounding and thunderous bang -- causing him to leap back into the nearest wall. With his heart hammering wildly within his chest, his eyes glanced back at the door in wide-eyed surprise. After he managed to take a brief moment to calm his nerves, he rushed back over to the door trying to open it, only to discover that it wouldn't budge. It was well and truly stuck; almost as if someone had sealed it shut -- from the inside.

No matter how hard he tugged, pushed, pulled or rammed his shoulder against the door -- it refused to give. Bill soon found himself surrendering hope on the idea of trying to get the door to open for him again, and instead, he turned his attention back to the eerily dark and smelly hallway before him. The odors that hit him were rancid and offensive; practically singeing off his nose hairs, and if he had to take a guess, he wouldn't be surprised if the wastewater from the sewer had managed to get backed up into the house -- thanks to whatever had caused all of the damage that he saw all around him. Treading lightly and thoughtfully, he decided to press on and try to locate Y/N and find out what exactly happened here.

"Alright, pull your shit together," his quiet words, served as the only other sound around him with the obvious exception of the electrical pops being thrown off from the nearby wires. Without a shadow of a doubt, he swiftly figured out that he needed to get his bearings in order if he had any hope of making it out of here alive. "You're going to find Y/N, and you're going to get the hell out of here." Yet, in the grand scheme of it all, he wasn't entirely sure if his words were meant to convince himself that things weren't as bad as they looked -- or if they were meant to be a source of self-comfort instead.

Large chunks of knocked over drywall, littered and blocked his path; meaning he would have to crawl over certain spots in order to make it to the other parts of the house. To make matters worse, a haze of smoke filled the small area, making it increasingly more difficult to breathe or see. Nor was that even mentioning the fact that he carefully needed to navigate around the loosing and hanging wires, that were in his way. One wrong move and he could either get a cut on his foot from something hidden in the water, accidentally electrocute himself, or potentially fall over something laying across the walkway. Nevertheless, with his mind made up, he gently prodded his foot forward in order to feel around before taking his next step; hoping that nothing would nic or cut himself in the process.

More statically charged, popping noises exploded from the looming and threatening wires nearby. Just when he thought the situation couldn't get any worse, he noticed how low one of the wires on his left, was hanging dangerously close to the wet floor. Refusing to take any chances at becoming electrocuted, he hastened his efforts to make it past the first piece of wall that was blocking his path. Luckily for him, it was only slanted against the other wall that sat on the opposite side. And as it turned out, this piece would be a lot easier to get by, because all he had to do was duck down and crawl underneath it.

He felt his stomach grow queasy at the idea of crawling through potential wastewater, but the fear of potential death was an excellent motivator in getting Bill to tough it out and complete the simple task that laid before him.

Once his hands hit the water, he had to stop for a minute to give his shaky limbs time to adjust to the temperature. The water felt frigid to the touch, and it was a miracle that his feet hadn't gone numb already. Determination propelled him forward, and steadily, he slid his hands onward under the water; mindfully looking out for any objects that could likely injure him. As soon as he emerged out from under the large piece of drywall, he stood back up and attempted to wipe the gunk from his hands and on his soaked, flannel pajama pants. Of course, it had been in vain, but he couldn't think about that at the moment; there other more pressing matters to worry about.

Coincidentally, there weren't as many exposed wires the further he drifted down the hall, but there were more fragments of burnt cream-colored drywall and wood, that was obstructing the pathway. The next two pieces were large, cracked and sitting side by side, and they required him to meticulously crawl over them -- without possibly falling through and hurting himself on whatever lied underneath. Parts of the insulation were strewn about all over the place, and the smoke was making it harder to breathe. It was a painstakingly slow process, but he managed to lay his body flat against the piece of plaster and wood; pulling himself across the planks with ease.

After he made it over the obstacles and back on his feet, the film of unforgiving smoke started to miraculously dissipate; thankfully allowing him to see a boldly, extravagant tree -- standing right in front of him. Bill stood there with his mouth gaping, feeling dumbfounded and transfixed at the mighty and wondrous sign of life before him; all the while trying to specifically figure out how a fully grown tree -- managed to grow in the middle of his fucking house. It stood there vibrantly, with its dark green leaves standing out brilliantly in a perfect juxtaposition to the wasted wreckage that laid all around him. Instantly giving in to his more inquisitive nature, he seemingly forgot the need to be conscious of where he stepped, as he made his way over towards the tree. It was only after he stepped closer to it, that he realized that it was actually an apple tree.

The magnificent apple tree had have been just over 30 feet tall, with ripe fruit good for the taking. In a moment of all-encompassing awe, he reached out with his right hand and plucked down the first captivating apple that caught his eye. The fruit was a beautiful scarlet red in color, and heavy to the touch. Without even thinking, he was overwhelmed with the urge to take a bite; but before he could -- another apple also snagged his wayward attention. Suddenly, he extended his left hand up and picked off the fruit from the branch as well. This particular one may have been smaller in size, but it was no less pretty or appealing to him.

He stared in fascination, at the apples in both of his hands, utterly blown away by the fact that something so amazing could survive whatever happened here.

It was only after he let out a sigh, that he finally heard it. A noise so uncharacteristic and out of place, that he had to wonder if he had only imagined it.

Quietly, he listened to the sounds that were taking place all around him -- noticing that something was off in the atmosphere. It took a few seconds, but he finally heard that peculiar noise again. It sounded as if something was weakly tapping against a hallowed surface. Curiosity got the better of him, effectively causing him to turn his head to look over his right shoulder. Sure enough, sitting behind the dark, overcast shadows of the room, there was a closed-door that appeared to slightly jolt forward against the frame -- every time the knocking was heard. Inching closer to it, he tried to remain as silent as possible while straining to hear the sound once more. He couldn't be certain if there was a person in there or not. Just as he arrived in front of the door, a loud whisper broke through the intense silence of the room; forcing him to halt in his tracks.

"Don't look back."

The whispered command startled him; causing him to turn his gaze downward in an attempt to subtly peek back over his shoulder. The energy in the room had changed ominously, whilst the air began cackling all around him; practically demanding him to fight against the urge to shut his own eyes. However, the millisecond his glossy eyes drifted down, it was then that he saw the haunting sight that he never expected to encounter. There, in his own hands were no longer two lovely apples he had picked earlier, but instead -- were two warm, slimy and crimson-stained human hearts. A terrified scream tore from his lips; causing him to drop the bloodied hearts into the murky water below -- and turn back around to find the most horrific display he had ever seen in his life...

The once pristine apple tree he was staring at not only one minute ago, was now dead. The leaves and apples had fallen off and onto the greywater saturated floor; instead, what was hanging on two strongest branches in their place -- were the deceased bodies of Y/N and Natalia. Both women looked to be hanging by their necks. Their chests appeared to be hacked open and exposed, with blood still dripping down the front of their white-colored dresses. Horrified by what was happening, Bill quickly stepped back; unable to comprehend the ghastly situation that was playing out in front of his very eyes. His left foot, caught on one of the hearts that was laying behind him, causing him to lose his footing and topple backward; landing harshly on his backside in the filthy water. The confusion and despair that shot through his mind, was raw and unparalleled.

This felt real, too real; and he was on the verge of a full-blown panic attack as he realized that when he took what he thought to be apples from this tree -- he was actually ripping their hearts directly from their chests.

Thanks to the horrendous vision in front of him, he couldn't breathe -- much less process what was happening. His eyes filled with tears, as the numbness silently crept in. The skin on both ladies was pale and void of any signs of life, plus their hair was matted to their heads. If he had to take a guess at how long they had been displayed in that tree, Bill would have assumed they had been dead for hours. Blood was splattered haphazardly across their faces, as their toes were tipped and pointed to the ground. He felt his own stomach bile beginning to rise up to his mouth; leaving an unpleasant burning sensation, scratching at the back of his throat -- yearning for an impromptu escape. The tragically twisted view before him had robbed him of all rational, and sensible thought, as he peered up at their lifeless bodies -- and screamed out once more. 

Abruptly, and with next to no warning whatsoever, Natalia's eyes snapped open; causing Bill to jump back and let out another scared and confused yelp. Her light grey, cataracted eyes, drew his attention away from the gaping hole in her chest where her heart used to be.

"Come back to me, Bill."

Her voice was strained, while she struggled to call out to him.

He inched closer to her bruised and battered body, whilst wondering how just how on Earth she could even be alive. Those few precious steps, though, were all it took; allowing Natalia to finally reach out and grab his shoulder in her vice-like, death grip -- causing him to cry out in pain, as her nails embedded themselves deep within his tender flesh.

"Come back!"

___

Sitting in her living room, Natalia was calmly smoking a cigarette and watching the smoke waft around, silently drifting deftly out of the window -- and into the cool and dampened, pre-dawn air. She rarely smoked inside her home, but at the moment she didn't particularly care about abiding by her day to day rules. If anything, she needed the preferred release that only nicotine could provide for her nerves. While she snuggled further down comfortably in her favorite chair, she watched the glowing purple and pink hues, light up the early morning skies above her.

A huge part of her plan, would be going into effect today; and depending upon Bill's reaction to what she had coming -- it would also determine if she managed to adequately see the rest of her plan through or not. There was a relatively sizeable chance, that after she enacted this crucial part of her plan -- he could end up splitting up with her. However, it didn't matter because this was a risk she had to take. Admittedly, some part of her, sincerely wondered if he would even do such a thing. He had been home for well over a week and a half now, and he hadn't bothered to end things with her yet. She couldn't help but wonder why.

Why was he dragging ass on this?

It was a question that had been burning in the back of her mind lately. In her view, it was obvious to her from the start, that he had always had long-buried feelings for Y/N. The fact that he hadn't mentioned one measly thing to her about taking a break, being unfaithful, or splitting up for good since he had been back home -- had made her insanely curious into his reasons on why he was staying quiet about this. 

Was there a part of him that had legitimately grown to love her? Was he having trouble coming to grips with what he had done to their relationship? Was he feeling guilty about what had happened, and was it eating him alive? She pettily hoped so. More importantly, did he have hidden doubts about Y/N? There had to be a reason, some semblance of an explanation there, and he was doing a great job at leaving her in the dark -- which was not something Natalia appreciated in the slightest.

These days, she had elected to sleep on the couch; pretending to be catching up with her work and wanting to get things done while she had the chance to do so. Thus, in the process, giving herself ample time and space away from Bill -- in order to sort herself out. Actually attaining any sleep though, was practically impossible; and these days, it was beginning to show. However, she was talented enough at masking the dark circles under eyes with concealer and other makeup products, all the while maintaining her regular schedule of activities and appearances. Ever since the first night he arrived back to her shared apartment, and she had attempted to lightly seduce him into bed and he shot the idea down, only for her to discover the reasons why in Ace's email to her after he left their apartment -- she had decided to distance herself from the idea of being intimate with him anyway. It would only put both of them in an awkward position; one that not even she was ready to face herself. Natalia knew he would possibly rebuff her advances if she made any further attempts, making them both feel uncomfortable and embarrassed; plus, she was no longer in a frame of mind to allow him to touch her. He had betrayed her trust, and while she wasn't entirely innocent over the course of their relationship and she acknowledged that to herself privately -- she didn't exactly feel right about rewarding his shitty behavior with sex either.

Not to mention, he wasn't even fucking smart enough to not get himself caught.

The thought alone, caused her to roll her eyes in annoyance. 

Over the past several days, her mentally exhausting anguish was beginning to morph into silent fury and anger. If she could get through the rest of this day, with their relationship still intact, then she stood a chance of making sure that she could end this bullshit affair of his -- once and for all. By the time she would be done, Bill's choice would be made for him. And if she were lucky, she would be getting Y/N out of the picture for good.

From across the hall, it was the sound of strained moaning coming from the bedroom, startled her out of her perpetual trance-like state. Remarkably, the noises had sounded as though Bill were distressed. Natalia quickly stubbed out her half-smoked cigarette, tossing it outside and closing her window, as she silently tip-toed over to their shared bedroom door. Leaning her head against the door, her eyes fluttered shut as she concentrated on listening to what was going on inside the bedroom. The moans were becoming progressively more distressed. Going against her better judgment, she slowly clasped the brass handle within her small hand and opened the door -- taking in the scene before her. Bill was laying on their bed, tossing and thrashing about, almost as if he were trapped inside of another hellish nightmare. He had been having them a lot more frequently over the past week. For a second, she wondered just how much his role of playing a psychopathic, child-eating clown in a horror movie -- had potentially messed with his head.

If that were the case, it could certainly explain some of the changes in his behavior recently...

Thinking quickly on her feet, she briskly walked over to his side of the bed and snapped on the bedside lamp sitting neatly on top of her black nightstand. She reached out timidly and slowly began to rub his shoulder; calling out his name.

"Baby, wake up. You're having a bad dream," she mumbled quietly, trying not to startle him out of his dream. It took a few moments, but it finally worked.

Bill shot straight up in the bed, gasping for much-needed air and clawing at his chest. His heart thundered wildly against the breastplate of his chest, and he felt beads of sweat pouring down his face. Off to his left, he saw her... Natalia. And thankfully, she was alive and well.

"Hey, it's me! Calm down! Du har bara haft en mardröm, du kommer bli bra," Natalia tenderly assured him as she pulled herself closer to him, if only in order to help him realize that he wasn't dreaming anymore. Noticing that he was squinting while he attempted to look over at her, she reached back over to the lamp -- quickly snapping it back off as to not hurt his delicate, sleep-ridden eyes.

As furious as Natalia had been with Bill over the past few days, since she found out about his affair with his assistant, she did feel some slight remorse that he was having recurring nightmares over the past several nights. It was obvious to her that his role, of playing Pennywise, had taken a lot out of him -- both mentally and physically.

A part of her, felt a tad bit silly for even caring about his comfort at the moment; particularly given what she had just found out only a week or so prior. But the other half of her, even through the indescribable anger she felt churning away below the surface, did still care about him. At the moment, however, she had to push those warring feelings to the side, because it was imperative that she keep up the appearance -- at all costs.

"Baby, it's okay. Du är säker," she cooed faintly, pulling him into her embrace.

Bill, on the other hand, didn't catch onto her conflicting temperament. His mind was still racing, from the awful things he had experienced, and his breathing was still erratic. He felt her rubbing relaxing circles against his back, as his head rested against her shoulder; graciously taking a free moment of the peaceful serenity she offered to him.

"I'm sorry, Nat."

If she weren't paying attention at the time, she would have nearly missed his softly whispered apology. It was so faint that for a second -- she began to second guess her own hearing. His apology startled her; capturing her completely off guard and totally unaware. Her eyes widened in shock and surprise, causing her hand that was continuously rubbing soothing circles on his back -- to falter for a moment.

"Allt är bra, kom tillbaka till mig."

Almost as if on cue, a sweeping feeling of guilt started to creep into the deepest recesses of his very mind. As much as he cared for her, she wasn't Y/N. And it began to feel wrong to even take comfort in Natalia's reassuring arms. Taking solace in her embrace, wouldn't make what he needed to do, any easier -- in fact, it would be much harder on them both. In spite of that though, he couldn't deny that they did have a complex history together too.

Natalia had surprised him at a time when he least suspected it was possible. She had conveniently arrived in a disastrously messy period in his life, when he had all but given up on the idea of being able to find someone to take his mind off of the one woman he couldn't seem to have. Back then Y/N had John, who was an utter fool that couldn't even appreciate how good he genuinely had it with her, and even though that bastard didn't deserve her for a number of reasons, some that she wasn't even aware of yet, she appeared to be happy with him at that point in her life. It wasn't until shortly after he had gotten with Natalia, that he figured out just how wrong he was in that assessment on Y/N and John's relationship. Even with that knowledge, however, he couldn't bring himself to be selfish with her back then because her happiness actually meant something to him. But somehow, that managed to change for him recently. Now that things had changed and he had Y/N's affections, he knew it wouldn't be able to give it up. She was like a drink of fresh water, on a hot summer's day. There was no way in hell, he was passing up this opportunity to make her his.

When Natalia had shown up at that holiday party he was reluctantly attending, it had seemed like fate had opened up a new door full of opportunities and possibilities. Slowly, but ever so surely -- Bill found himself captivated by her charm and opening himself up to her. It was remarkable in the wonderfully unpredictable way that she managed to weave herself into his life. He couldn't lie, in the beginning, it felt as easy as breathing and he felt as if maybe he could finally get over the fact that he would never have Y/N. Admittedly, he would pull back at times, in the beginning, owing to the fact that it kind of freaked him out just how easy it was to turn to her in his moments of weakness. It was a feeling he wasn't quite used to with anyone else, outside of Y/N. But Natalia wasn't deterred by his reluctance, and she knew exactly how to push him out of his more elusive shell. It was something he had found himself respecting about her... At first.

As time went on though, certain things began to shift between them and it took a while for him to notice the things he had either never observed before -- or had simply overlooked during the time. While it was no secret that Natalia had an unrelenting Type-A personality, and it worked to her favor because she was smart enough to hone in on her emotions, it was also something that Bill really wasn't about on his own individual level. He gravitated more towards being a little more laid back, but also kept himself astonishingly well-organized. He went with the flow of the situations around him, whilst respecting the fluidity that life naturally offered; plus he liked to rationalize his decisions prior to making them, while quickly improvising and thinking on his feet when things changed -- much like Y/N did. It was a major reason why they worked together on both a professional and personal level. Their temperaments and approaches in life, were synced up and matched on a staggering level. Natalia, on the other hand, was incredibly analytical and tactical in her thinking, so when plans changed, she didn't like it as she generally strived to have control over a situation. Surprises tended to make her quite moody. In fact, just about two weeks ago, he had to talk her out of taking him on an impromptu trip to Greece -- when he had gotten back home.

She wanted a take him on a romantic getaway, just for the two of them with no distractions, within a day of him flying back home. It should have been obvious that it may have been cutting it a little close, however, the thought of that flew right over Natalia's head -- or she didn't care. On the other side of this proverbial two-headed coin, while he acknowledged that it was a sweet gesture, Bill had also wanted to spend time with his friends and family at home; catching up with the people he had missed for the past few months, due to his filming schedule. When he told her he was unsure about her idea to travel so far away from home, she didn't exactly take it too well. Of course, it should have gone without saying that the conversation had broken down into another strenuously heated argument between them. It was commonplace at this point. Natalia needed to have control over every situation; and it was something that, more often than not -- had rubbed Bill the wrong way over the past year. At times, he felt her incessant need to have total control over every minuscule aspect of their daily lives and activities, became downright disrespectful; made him feel kind of like his voice shouldn't fundamentally matter. Moreover, it was getting especially annoying since their disagreements almost always were dissolving into screaming matches; matches that left him feeling drained and where he would have to be the first one to apologize -- even when it wasn't his fault. It felt as if she couldn't accept any faults in the issues at hand, and it had been taking its toll on him.

His problem though, was that he hadn't properly communicated any of this. The only time he had said anything to her, was in the middle of their epic meltdowns. Bill was now realizing just how badly he fucked up, and it wasn't a smooth pill to swallow or digest.

This wasn't even counting the times she tried to ask him to get rid of Y/N as an assistant, or to essentially break their ties of friendship altogether. Those requests alone, back in the beginning when Natalia sincerely didn't have anything to worry about back then seeing as Y/N was wrapped up in a committed relationship, damn near drove him up a wall.

Nor, was he even mentioning the fact that over the past few months, she had been putting an astronomical amount of pressure on him to start house hunting with her; as if he didn't already have a jam-packed schedule as it was -- this new issue began to spark off new arguments too. Since their engagement, which was quickly becoming the biggest regret he had in all of this, getting him to commit to buying a new home with her had become her top priority recently and her reasoning was solid on the surface: If they would be getting married, it made perfect sense for them to buy a house together.

Bill understood that, on the surface level. It was the logical next step after all. And he would also be lying if he didn't admit that something was holding him back. He wasn't committing to it, even before things with Y/N started evolving to where they were right now.

Had they really both inherently doomed their relationship, from the start? Bill was beginning to suspect they had. His role, however, was entirely on him. His reluctance to pull the trigger, put his foot down and be more open with his himself, his emotions and face every single little thing he was thinking, feeling and experiencing in between -- that was all on him. That part, would never be on Natalia or Y/N. He needed to own up to that, or else he was doomed to repeat the same mistakes.

He knew what he had to do, but as he thought back to his hellish nightmare -- he felt afraid. He didn't want to hurt Natalia, even though he had quickly been noticing that they wanted two very different things out of life. They may have had contradictory viewpoints with how they each carried themselves within their personal lives, or within their own personal goals and aspirations, but he didn't want to hurt her either.

As soon as Natalia pulled back from his embrace, Bill looked in deep into her pale blueish-grey eyes and noticed for the very first time -- just how tired she looked. There were bags and dark circles under her eyes, and she looked like she hadn't gotten a proper nights sleep in days. Remorse filled his soul, whilst he absorbed her rough appearance. Could she not see that she was miserable too? In a stunning moment of pure clarity, he sadly knew that if they continued down this road that they would end up resentful and potentially even hateful towards one another; and it was in realizing that agonizing fact, that he knew what had to be done. It was time to end this with her. And he would do it tonight, after their joint annual family dinner. Once they arrived back here, in the privacy of her apartment, he would sit her down and talk to her about everything.

He just prayed that she wouldn't hate him forever because of this...

_____

Laughter, merriment and mumbled sounds of social chatter could be heard, floating throughout the air of the Holm's country house -- as Bill and Natalia's family members conversed smoothly with one another in the light and airy dining room. Natalia knew that Bill had always appreciated this little ritual that both of their families came together for. Since he was gone quite a bit to North America, filming for projects, auditioning for others, or even doing press junkets -- Natalia enjoyed being able to pull their families together so they could catch up once Bill was back in town.

Candles were set up all around the dining room, bathing the room in a mild ethereal glow. The wine was flowing generously, and the ostentatious table was covered with a luscious satin white table cloth; proudly displaying a bountiful amount of culinary dishes that made her mouth water. The delicious aroma's caused her stomach to rumble; forcing her to acknowledge the fact that she hadn't eaten properly in days. She was surviving off coffee, water, cigarettes, and the occasional snack. Soon though, that would potentially be behind her -- if, of course, everything went accordingly to her plan. Being seated in front of such a feast, finally got her in the mood to fill up her plate and actually eat a decent meal for the first time in a week and a half.

Natalia's older sister, Agnes, was located across the table from her; holding her six-month-old daughter in her arms -- while her husband William sat to her left. Their younger brother Max, was seated off to the other side of William; thankfully engaging in a conversation with Bill's younger brother Valter. Both young men were in their prime, and not looking to settle down anytime soon; which meant they had more in common with each other -- than they did with anyone else at the table. Bill's younger sister Eija, sat off to Valter's right, with her long-time boyfriend. Both of them were enjoying a tender conversation together, and paying no attention to anyone else at the moment. Natalia smiled at them, as they looked so happy and in love with one another. And beside Eija’s boyfriend, was her own mother -- Monica Holm. Bill's mother, My, was seated to the right side of her father, Viktor Holm who sat at the head of the table. Gustaf and his new girlfriend were both seated on the left side of Bill, and right beside Gustaf's lovely lady, was Bill's eldest brother Alexander -- who also took his place beside their mother.

Opportunities to get everyone together like this, were exceptionally rare. And for a nervous Natalia, it all came down to this. The festivities were beginning to wind down, and soon, her father would begin the round of toasts to congratulate everyone on their newest accomplishments. Her parents were sticklers for positive reinforcement as they were growing up, so it was only natural that they not only continued their tradition after their children had all flown the nest -- but that they also brought the partners of their children on it as well.

Like clockwork, Natalia had just taken her third bite of the jordgubbstårta, that her mother had prepared as a dessert, before she heard the light tapping of a polished silver fork, knocking on a dazzling crystal wine glass -- coming from the head of the table. She smiled adoringly up at her father, as he stood up and locked eyes with her; giving her a wink to let her know he wouldn't mind if she wanted to continue eating. She had truly been the apple of his eye, and he always made sure that his children knew how much he loved them.

"I would like to propose a toast," Viktor began confidently. "For some time now, our two families have gotten together to catch up, enjoy delicious food and to spend quality time with the people we hold most dear to us. Monica and I, always enjoy when it’s our turn to host these dinners and we’re grateful for having you all here." He paused, taking a quick moment to glance adoringly towards his wife of over thirty years. "Bill, son, thank you for introducing all of us to your beautiful family who we have grown to care for as an extension of our own. To my wife, thank you for putting up with me as I destroy our kitchen trying to help you prepare for these gatherings," he gently lamented, as everyone else began to chuckle. "And to my children, you continue to make me proud with each passing day. Skål!"

Everyone raised their glasses, echoing his hospitable sentiments and clinking them together lightly with their neighbors -- before taking a sip at the contents within each of their cups. Time passed, and a few more toasts were given around the table. It turned out, that Max had come prepared to this specific gathering -- as he announced to their parents that he had been accepted into law school. Witnessing their father beam with pride, and their mother's jaw drop -- had been worth the wait on telling them. It was an astonishment, that their mother didn't scream after he told them. It was a universally known fact, that their parents had been worried about what Max would decide to do with his future. Being bestowed with the knowledge that he had an overall direction now, had possibly put them at ease. It was a moment, that had made her immensely proud of her younger brother.

Once everyone had settled back down, however, the moment she had been waiting and psyching herself up for -- had arrived. Natalia cautiously looked around, scanning the room and watching everyone sharing their support for Max as they set glasses back on the table. Now, all she needed was to fester up her courage and get this show on the road. It was time to put those acting chops to good use, and appear more confident than she actually felt at the moment. One wrong move, and she was convinced she would lose her nerve. So she reached for her glass, gulped down a rather large swallow of wine, before taking a deep breath and steeling her frayed nerves...

"Well, I hope you all don't mind but I wanted to share some news with everyone -- since we're all together and it feels like we never get together enough these days," Natalia declared shyly, as she pushed back her chair and decided to begin her speech.

It's now or never. May God have mercy on me, if this shit goes sideways...

"I'd like to propose a toast of my own." She spoke more confidently this time, as she pushed her chin forward in a show of conviction. Bill, however, briefly looked confused by this sudden development, as he caught his brother Valter's eyes from across the table. Turning his focus back to Natalia, he noticed that she was looking down at him with her hand held out for his. Graciously, he smiled back at her and laced his larger hand through hers.

"For a while, I often wondered when I would find someone who would be special enough to love me for who I am; at the same time, I also questioned if I would ever be in a place that would allow me to recognize and accept that person for everything that they were -- once they managed to appear in my life. Alla vet redan att jag kan vara ganska jobbig ibland," her confession caused her siblings to chuckle and nod vigorously in a show of silent agreement. "Yet, when that special someone comes into your life, så vet du bara. With Bill," she paused momentarily, as she stared back at him. "I always knew he was special and unique. He's kind, caring, and compassionate; but he's also devoted, hard-working and best of all -- he's incredibly loyal." Bill felt his heart skip a beat, as he gulped. If there was ever a moment in his life, where he felt like the shittiest person on the planet -- this was quite possibly it. He didn't miss it as Gustaf choked on his wine, causing the elder Skarsgard to apologize and make an excuse about it 'going down the wrong pipe,' before Natalia methodically continued.

"I am so proud of each and every one of his new milestones, and while the road may get bumpy sometimes, I know that he will always be there -- no matter how difficult things may get."

Bill could hear her sister and mother, murmuring their agreements with Natalia comments in the background. The battle within him though was only just beginning; he could feel the pressure beginning to rise, whilst his anxiety stirred to life deep in the pit of his gut. Something didn't feel quite right about this, but nevertheless, he felt like shit as he listened to her sing his praises to everyone in the room. She had absolutely no idea what was coming later tonight, and she was inadvertently making him feel even worse without even meaning to.

"Therefore, I would like to privately announce to our families,"

Without warning, a foreboding feeling slammed into him at full force. The wheels in his head worked overtime, as he tried to piece together her end game here, when abruptly -- it all snapped into place.

Oh no...

Time slowed down to snail's pace. Seconds felt like several agonizing minutes, causing him to hear every beat of his own heart pounding away furiously in his ears. He wasn't an idiot, and he figured out exactly what she was about to do. His stomach felt like it was doing somersaults in his throat, and before he could think of a way to stop her...

"Bill and I are now engaged!" she gushed excitedly, as she pulled out the Ruby and Diamond engagement ring from her pocket, that he had previously given her -- leaving Bill sitting there in stunned silence. Gasps filled the air, as both families happiness caused them to erupt with celebratory rounds of "congratulations," being showered on the couple. The rest of her family stood up to give them hugs while Bill sat there in barely concealed shock; his composure, sloppily falling away momentarily as he absorbed the reality of what had just happened.

Suddenly, he felt the impact of a stiff kick on his shin from underneath the table, as his older brother Gustaf watched him intently. His lip curled up, signaling to Bill to smile. Once more, his mask of indifference slipped it's way back onto his face, as he stood up and accepted hugs and handshakes from her family members that began to surround them.

It was not as if he had any choice in the matter; what the hell else could he do? Just stand up and say, "I’m sorry everyone, but there seems to be some sort of mistake. I actually planned to break up with Natalia later tonight," and believe that it wouldn't cause a massive scene? Unfortunately, he knew that wouldn't go over well. Moreover, he didn't want to subject his mother to the needless drama either. He had too much respect for her, and even for Natalia's own parents, to legitimately consider doing that to them. Besides, when it boiled down to it -- Natalia didn't deserve to be humiliated like that either. Bill was well and truly stuck, with no other choice but to pretend that he was the happy and doting fiance.

In the end, he gracefully acted the role of dutiful fiance and leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. It was a brazen move, Natalia would give him that. Deep in her heart, she knew that the real test would be the one that took place later on tonight -- when they were both away from the prying eyes of their families and finally by themselves. 

Tactically, Bill took a subtle peek around the table and noticed his own siblings watching the interaction intently. Each of them knew that this wasn't what their brother had wanted anymore. It seemed that even his own sister was giving him the side-eye. Her stern look, conveying a simple message: We're going to talk about this later, you fucking idiot.

Briefly, he wondered if his brothers had told her about his time with Y/N because she certainly didn't seem to be too impressed with him at all; and neither were his brothers. Regrettably, while Bill didn't want to make their judgments any worse, he knew it was coming when he felt his mother wrap her arms around him -- telling him just how proud of him she was. His green eyes glazed over and shut, as he hugged her back. Even though his eyes were shut, he could still feel the piercing stares of his siblings; harshly and silently criticizing him for not standing up and putting a stop to this.

His hands were tied, and there was very obviously nothing he could do, presently, to stop or curb the situation. So with that in mind, he sat back down in his seat and waited for the festivities to come to the inevitable end.

Natalia had well and truly fucked him and his plans up tonight, and there was a part of him that was a little bit angry about it; more so with himself for getting himself into this mess. His plan to end their relationship tonight, was effectively shot to hell. He literally could not leave her right now -- not after this grand little display of hers.

Fuck.

Bill shifted uncomfortably in his seat, knowing that his older brothers Alexander and Gustaf were probably waiting on what their younger brother's next move would be. They were already well aware of what had happened, between Y/N and Bill, since he had already told them about it -- once he made back home.

On his first night back in town, he had gone to meet up with his younger brother Valter at the local pub -- only to realize that his two older brothers, Alexander and Gustaf, were joining him as a surprise. It was a welcomed reprieve to just be able to sit down and catch up with each of them individually. A few hours and several drinks later, he ended up confessing about the affair to his brothers. None of the men were even remotely surprised by the turn of events; even going as far as to tell him as they all had seen it coming. Valter and Gustaf both cherished Y/N already, and while Alex also thought she was perfect for his younger brother -- he also didn't exactly like the situation they had both gotten themselves into. He was leary of the fact that Natalia would just accept Bill breaking up with her. Of course, Alex was simply speaking from personal experience with that particular subject. It was no secret that he wasn't exactly considered any kind of saint in some of his former relationships. But it was those relationships alone, that had taught him how to spot the signs of trouble yet to come. It was because of that, that Bill tried to take Alex's advice to tread carefully, to heart.

Now, Natalia had him by the balls and if Y/N found out -- any potential future they may have together could be ruined. He had to think, and fast. Because if the looks on his siblings' faces were something to go by, they weren’t going to let this go; if anything -- there was going to be severe consequences for this.

------

Headlights flashed ahead, as the dark grey Audi A3 sedan pulled into the small parking spot located just underneath the decently sized and sturdy white apartment building. The silence in the air was thick and palpable, with anticipation and suspense. Natalia was unsure of what to expect next, as Bill hadn't said a word to her since they both left the dinner party.

If she were lucky, Bill would simply go inside and simply feign sleepiness in order to get out of the discussion with her; but somehow -- she highly doubted that was about to happen. She was far from stupid, and she didn't miss the look of complete shock on his face when she told everyone of their engagement tonight. Of course, he straightened up and smiled; even going as far as thanking people for their well-wishes that they showered upon them -- yet his hesitation was certainly not missed by her clever and observant eyes.

Nervousness seemed to be settling deep within her spirit, at an almost rapid pace. In her defense, this felt like a good idea in her head at the time; back when she had gotten Ace's email, and learned about Bill's affair with Y/N. Hindsight was fifty-fifty though, and she was wondering if her impromptu announcement at the dinner party would push him over the edge -- causing him to leave her for good. If it did, she could conclusively kiss her revenge plan goodbye. To be fair, she knew there was a high likelihood of her getting an adverse reaction from him when she went into it; but when you're wrapped so tightly within the welcoming embrace of pure, uninhibited fury -- you tend to lose sight of the things are that should be undeniable. And although she wouldn't admit her fears so openly, due to her own anger and pride, she was particularly petrified of the possibility of him leaving her for doing this. Of course, when she sat back and thought about it, in the middle of those lonely nights recently, it was definitely considered downright pathetic to be worried about something like that. After all, without a shadow of a doubt, she should be the one leaving him. Yet, when it came down to it, she couldn't seem to pull the proverbial trigger. The love she felt for him, while wounded in the worst possible way -- was still there for him. How it was surviving, was beyond her own comprehension.

It was too late now though. Once her decision was acted upon, she knew she needed to see it all the way through; regardless of the repercussions. Ironically, it was the image of Bill kissing Y/N, which felt permanently seared into her mind -- that propelled her forward with her plan. 

Neither of them said a word after she killed the engine to the car. She sat back in her leather seat, anxiously fiddling with her keys as she trained her eyes down towards her lap. A feeling of restlessness surged through her veins and Natalia had no idea why she was so nervous. In her opinion, it should be Bill who should be over there sweating bullets. There was no way he could get out of this, without having to come clean. Yet, even knowing that, didn't calm her down at all. If anything, it just put her on edge even more.

Why wasn't he saying anything?

The longer he sat there quietly, the more jittery she became. Realizing that she didn't plan to spend all night simply sitting in the car waiting for him to finally address her -- she lifted her hand to the silver door handle and propped open the driver's side door. They had some leftovers, in a couple of wrapped up dishes which sitting on the back floorboards, so she went ahead and opened the back door to grab them and bring them inside.

Bill exhaled deeply, as he too, finally opened his door and decided to help her get the food inside.

His mind was in a much different place than Natalia's, and it was consistently swimming between anger and fear. Luckily for Natalia, it was predominately aimed at himself at the moment; well, with the notable exception of his anger at her for once again -- going off and doing something, without consulting with him beforehand. This seemed to be an ever-repeating pattern among them, and quite frankly, it felt as if they could never find themselves sitting on the same page. It was annoying, and bothersome, to say the least.

Upon opening the front door to her apartment, Natalia quietly thanked him for his help as she pushed her way inside and Bill flipped the kitchen light switch on for them. He never said a word, as he took off his jacket, brushed a hand through his thick brown hair, and watched her put the leftover food on the stove in order to pull out her Tupperware dishes. He simply watched her work her way around the kitchen, just as he had always seen her do over the past year and a half -- and thought about how to approach the rather big elephant in the room. As he stood on the other side of the counter, he pulled out a stool and continued to watch her work.

"Nat, can you stop doing that and come here, please? We need to talk."

He noticed the way her back froze, the moment he uttered those words. Setting aside the aluminum foil package, she turned around and took off her own jacket; hanging it on the coat hanger she had next to the door. For the first time, since they left her parents house, he observed that her engagement ring was still sitting on her ring finger. She hadn't taken it off, since leaving the dinner party. The way the bright light in the kitchen hit the diamonds, causing them to sparkle and shine -- had caught his eye.

Instantly, he lost focus and remembered back to the night when he had asked her to marry him. Oddly enough, he proposed to her right here, in this very room of her apartment -- right after they had made dinner together. At the time, he was focused on doing anything that made her feel happy. And he knew, without a shadow of a doubt from their numerous pillow talks, that an engagement was something she certainly looked forward to having in their future. Natalia didn't know it, but he had purchased the ring a few weeks prior. Bill knew she adored rubies and thought they were stunning. It had taken him a little bit of time, but he was able to track down the ring that appeared to be perfect for her. A single teardrop-shaped, two and a half-carat Ruby, surrounded by a halo of diamonds -- with a plentiful amount of diamonds adorning the white gold, crisscrossed double band.

In retrospect, even he had to admit that was quite foolish of him to do that simply to keep her happy. It was dawning on him now, that it was a mistake because he wasn't actually ready to commit himself to a marriage; yet -- that didn't stop the fact that he still felt bad about causing this dysfunction in the first place.

"You're upset."

It wasn't a question, it was merely an observation and it hung in the air like a knife, causing him to momentarily flinch at her accusation. Was she wrong? No. He just didn't want this to turn into another row between them either. Enough damage had already been accomplished for one night.

Carefully selecting his next words would be imperative, and he knew it.

"I'm simply wondering why you chose to tell our families about the engagement; jag trodde att vi hade en överenskommelse."

Natalia slid into the barstool, just on the other side of Bill and folded her hands neatly in front of her. Her quiet demeanor only enhanced his sense of dismay, even further. And strangely, the sigh that exited her chest, sounded like one of defeat; leaving him wondering about what was to come next.

It wasn't that long ago, when she used to bring him happiness and a ray of hope to his future. When he thought about it, it was just after he had agreed to start seeing Natalia exclusively, that he began to start seeing a chance of happiness outside of Y/N and Natalia had a lot do with that. She made him feel comfortable, at least during that brief period in time; yet he couldn't lie to himself -- because the idea of fully giving up on his feelings for Y/N never fully resonated in his heart either. Those feelings only sat idly by, like the embers of once raging fire, threatening to reignite once again at the sign of any change in the environment. 

And that was exactly what they did; those emotions reignited in a big, fiery and all-consuming way. It was something, he wouldn't let go off.

This was his fault, and he knew it.

"Since you're asking for my honesty, here it is; I'm tired of hiding something like this from our families. I agreed to be your wife the moment you asked me. I'm in this for the long haul. But asking me to keep it quiet, hasn't really settled well with me either. I want to be able to share this with our mothers, my mother -- even my own sister." She exclaimed wistfully; her ice-blue eyes bore into his, imploring him to see reason and understand her valid emotions.

"I have been so incredibly excited just to tell my own mother about this. And you..." She paused briefly, before looking down at the bar; unable to maintain eye contact any longer. "You asked me not to tell anybody about it. Do you realize how hard that is? Or even how unfair it is? To make me keep this news all to myself, that I just truly want to be happy about? And recently, I've been thinking about that; you do know that it feels a little silly to be hiding something this major from our own friends and family -- right? I'm not asking to announce it to the whole world yet Bill, I just wanted to privately tell our families."

Bill exhaled calmly, trying not to let his grip on his patience slip from him. Of course, he understood why she wanted to tell them all; he certainly wasn't impractical or uncaring in that sense. However, there were other underlying issues at the center of why they had both agreed to keep it quiet.

"I get that, I truly do. But Nat, we talked about this and you even agreed to it. You said that you understood the reasons we needed to keep it quiet. I told you, that with IT coming out -- things are going to change. If everything goes the way I hope they do, my career could be taking off. That means more offers, more auditions, more projects, more locations and with that comes more attention. Not all of that attention is going to be good either. If news about the engagement gets out, even through an accidental post on social media from one of our friends or family members, you could be dealing with a hoard of female fans talking massive shit about you, stalking you online, or following you around in real life -- and making your life absolutely miserable. And all of it, would be because you're with me! That's not even including the fact that we've been fighting more over the past almost several months. If I'm being perfectly honest here," he sighed, before turning back to her and grabbing her left hand in his right one. "I'm not sure if that would be something we would survive, because we have more than enough issues without that being added on top of our plates."

Natalia sat back in stunned silence, unable to fathom that he genuinely said that out loud to her. Her act of telling their families, couldn't have happened at a better time, as it became increasingly more evident that he really was planning on ending things with her. All she knew in that instant, was that she had to turn the tide of this conversation, back in her favor and quickly -- or entire plan would only dissolve from here.

"Are you --" her eyes filled with tears, threatening to spill over and down her lightly blushed cheeks, while she sniffled. "Are you ashamed of me?"  Quickly, she pulled her hand back from his and stood up from her seat. Anger surged throughout her body, causing her cheeks to heat up in embarrassment and tears began to shine through her eyes, as Bill was left with emotional whiplash at what was happening.

"What? Natalia, no! That's not what I'm saying," he swiftly attempted to explain, but he knew it would be no use.

"That's what it feels like you're saying! It feels like you're saying that you don't think I know what lies ahead, or that I'm even strong enough to handle it! Do you really think so little of me?" Turning on her heel, she briskly walked back into the kitchen area and picked up the aluminum foil again -- trying her hardest to hold it together and finish her task of re-wrapping their leftovers.

"Where the hell did you even get the idea that I was ashamed of you? I never said that at all," Bill's frustrations were growing by the millisecond, as he stood up from his own spot at the bar. "I explain to you that I'm afraid of something, and suddenly that somehow means I'm ashamed of you? You always manage to do this! Every single fucking time, Natalia! You run off and do something on your own, never ask me how I may feel about it before you do it -- and then you get pissed off when I don't react the way you think I should. You did it right before I came back home too!" He finished accusingly, as he pointed a finger at her.

Just like that, the fuse was ignited and neither of them was prepared to back down from this long-overdue fight.

Propriety could be damned, he didn't care if his voice was starting to elevate anymore, because this thing right here -- was exactly what the main problem was between them. And honestly, Bill was at his wit's end with the drama she brought to the table in this relationship.

"So that's what this is about! You're still mad at the fact that I tried to book a private getaway for us, for when you got back home from Toronto? Jesus Christ, Bill!" She slammed the plastic see-through dish on the stove, as she shook her head and began to laugh sarcastically. "Excuse the fuck out of me, for trying to spend time with my fiance after not being able to see him for three fucking months!"

"Actually, I wasn't upset about that incident anymore and was more or less using that as an example; but yes -- you go off and do things, all the while, you don't even bother to include me in the equation at all! It's like I've become an afterthought to you! Did it ever occur to you, that I wanted to come home, see my family and actually spend some time with my mother? She's getting older, Natalia! I won't have her around forever!" He leaned across the bar carefully, both arms stretched out with his palms braced across the surface; narrowing his eyes at her.

Natalia pressed her lips together, as she pulled out a sheet of aluminum foil from the pack and set it off to the side.

"You’ve been acting like a jackass, since you've been away." The moment that allegation left her lips, Bill scoffed.

"Me being gone for work has nothing to do with this. We’ve been at each other’s throats even before I left. Have you ever tried considering the fact, that I may be annoyed by the continuous fighting we do all of the time? We fight over the most ridiculous bullshit! And if we’re not fighting, we’re fucking. I told you over the phone a few weeks ago, this shit needed to stop and here we are -- right back at it again!”

The sound of a wooden spoon scraping against the ceramic plate filled the room, as she finally set it down and wiped her hands on the hand towel that was hanging off the oven door.

"Let me ask you a question, do you even love me anymore? Because I love you, Bill! But Jesus fucking Christ, I really feel like you don't love me at all."

That one question managed to hit him dead center in his chest, almost knocking the wind right out of him. Just then, it was as if he were transported back to that nightmare with Natalia and Y/N both hanging in the tree, with their chests cut open and their hearts were laid out his hands. He was fearful of answering that question, because he didn't want to essentially rip the proverbial heart out of her chest and destroy her like this.

Now, it was Bill's turn to sound defeated. Without another word, he didn't wait for her reaction as he turned around and began walking down the hallway. Taking a couple of minutes to clear her own head, she finished wrapping the plastic bowl and stuck it on the bottom shelf in the refrigerator; wondering if she finally pushed everything too far.

Finally, she pushed herself away from the large appliance and decided to follow him down the hallway. If she were expecting to see him feeling defeated, she was in for a rude awakening; instead -- she found him packing his bags again.

"Bill, what are you doing?" The hesitation caused her voice to slightly crack, as she watched him continue to put more clothes into his suitcase.

He never spoke a word, as he ignored and pushed past her. Instead, he moved into their shared bathroom. Once he collected what he needed, he snapped the light back off and made his way back to the bedroom -- packing his toiletries away. After he was finished a few moments later, he belatedly glanced over at her. For the first time since this argument began, he noticed her silently crying as she watched him.

"I fell for you before I ever put that ring on your finger," he stated carefully. "I didn't think I could ever find someone who could potentially make me happy, and for a while -- you did. But we're changing Natalia, and I don't like the people we're changing into."

"So you want to run away, instead of facing our problems? Vad är det som du inte berättar för mig?" Her lips trembled, as she stood there -- waiting for an answer.

"Natalia," there was a delay, as he tried to take a step towards her. Natalia, on the other hand, took a quick step back. Her eyeliner and mascara were running carelessly down her cheeks, creating dark streaks which made him feel even worse.

"I'm saying we should use the time while I'm away in California working, to think about what we both want. Because we cannot keep going like this. It’s not fair to either of us. I’m not saying it’s over right now, I’m saying let’s take this time apart while I’m gone, to think and once I come back -- we can sit down and decide once and for all where we go from here.” 

With that, he grabbed the handle of his large rolling suitcase and walked out of their shared apartment. Leaving a shocked and struggling Natalia behind. 

He hadn’t ended it with her, but he did let her know that they needed time apart. And that was the opening a reeling and emotional Natalia needed, to enact the next step in her plan. 

____

[Extended Author's Notes: Trust me, I'm shaking my head at Bill too! Bonehead! You should have just ended it with her while you had the chance!

I get why he didn't, because that's got to be a mind fuck where you're feeling your back against the wall, flashing back to a nightmare where you think you've ripped out her heart already and you don't want to hurt someone...

But man, I have to hand it to Natalia, the girl knows how to manipulate a situation when things are going off the rails. She saw what was coming, and threw a massive roadblock in Bill's path. She is not the one to play with, and Bill may have bitten off more than he can chew with her. He's obviously figured out, that he's backed into a wall; so it'll be interesting to see how if he's able to keep up the facade and find a way out of the mess he created -- or if things are going to blow up in his face.

One small part of me, feels a tiny bit bad that Bill is in this conundrum. After all, he started dating Natalia, because he was attempting to get over his feelings for Y/N in the first place; which he felt were always going to remain unrequited on the readers end. He and Natalia have had a bumpy road, but overall he did care about her and even asked her to marry him -- only for everything to finally come together with Y/N (who doesn't know about his engagement)... And now, it's all a big mess.

Now, our boy finally has the woman he's wanted all along and had finally mustered up the courage to tell Natalia it was over -- and she blew his plans all to hell!

Speaking of Bill though, I wonder where he's running off to after failing to completely break it off with Nattie... Guess you'll have to wait until the next chapter to find out lol.

____

And finally: If you've enjoyed this chapter, please don't forget to (kindly) leave a vote and/or comment! Each vote and comment helps more people see this story; so please be kind and submit a vote/comment before you leave.

And if you don't want to leave a vote on this particular chapter, just go back and leave on the chapters you liked the most.

I hope you're having a wonderful day/evening/night.

Take care lovelies, see you in two weeks (or less) with the next chapter! --ImaginationLane xoxo]

Tag list:  @kikilikes, @readsalot73, @diianawonka, @goswedish, @rougxlips @ffixation, @shadowpriestess6, @vladsgirl, @mrsbillskarsgard, @billgardskars, @adoresfandoms, @mightbelindsey, @we-are-like-a-timebomb, @fandomimcurrentlyobsessedabout, @negan5589, @decayingdeathh, @unicorn-glitter-princess, @voidpaintings, @the-fandom-phantom-fanfics, @mishdennise, @thatonepuremoment, @voidpaintings, @peardream72, @nyleveeee, @rutuliukasg , @daddyssweetpeaches, @ambeazyyy, @billiemalamas, @frappylou, @jinnfruit , @isaxhorror , @totally-magneato, @wayward-dragon, @stanseba, @tonystar3k , @a-lethal-dose , @rachlou , @anastasiaskarsgard , @skarsgarddreams , @greenofallshades , @fichoe21 , @bohemianfortunes ,

#bill skarsgard #bill skarsgard x reader #bill skarsgard imagine #bill skarsgard fan fiction #The Assistant Series

[odysseywritings]

Raven Woman pt. 2

(continued from here)

(warning: some fish-based battery)

I knew I could never talk about this womanly beast to anyone. They might think I was spreading a tall tale to stir the village into thinking ol’ Beau was a fibber. Or worse, they might see me as delusional and losing grip on reality. There was no sane way to describe her. Even I had trouble understanding it. The parts of her that weren't shrouded in shadow in any case.

Yet I could not stop thinking about her. Clearly inhuman with her raven wings and beak, but human enough to feel my pain and bring me to safety. This mystique must be what adventurers felt as they traveled to islands. Having no idea of her thoughts and language, I aimed to give her something to start a dialog through an offering.

Being bird-like, the most obvious gift was a delicious carp. The stench was a burden on my travel, but it was needed to show my thanks to her. Finding her among the woods was should have easier with the sunlight, but there was no sign of her. Making things worse was the dead fish attracting all sorts of birds and foxes that peered at me.

I did my best to shoo them away, but every turn left the fish vulnerable to being snatched. I griped and shouted, warning the hawk that I’d use it for a gift instead. The miserable thing ignored my threat and I whacked it with the fish until it staggered off. I tried to give the same thing to the fox but it smart enough to back off for now.

I grumbled, scratched up and pungent with fish smell, but I saw the harpy woman in the corner of my eyes. I called out to her and raised up the fish. Her black  and violet feathered back was facing me, but her head only turned toward me for a second before looking on.

“Hey, I have a fish for you,” I said. “Good food. It’s for helping me yesterday.”

Her head still did not turn. “I can’t take this.” 

Her voice stunned me. Not only from the surprise of us knowing the same language, but her tone was low and harsh. I kept talking.

“Don’t you like fish? Or do you need it cooked?”

“The gift isn’t the issue,” she growled and looked at me again. “You brought fresh food into a place where hungry animals live, and you have the nerve to strike them for wanting it.”

“But I got it for you.They were just scavengers.”

“Fighting starvation is more important than presents!” she barked, her feathers spiking up in anger. She glided to a nearby tree that secured the battered hawk from before, and she rested her wing around it. “Your honor is not worth others’ pain.” 

A heavy stone rested on my chest from that sight. It was still an animal, but I couldn’t blame it. In my deep thought, the fox from earlier snatched the fish from my hand. I shouted in retaliation, but I lacked the energy to chase it. I merely sighed.

“I’m sorry,” I continued. “I won’t trouble these animals anymore. But I still want to thank you for aiding me the other night.”

Her feathers slunk back into their normal flattened pattern. 

“I am Beau, before I forget. I at least owe you that much. Can I ask for yours?” 

“I’ve long forgotten,” she admitted as she looked at her wing at all sides. “Raven will do for now.”

“As you wish, Raven.” 

I left the woods with a strange pain in my gut, as though my apology and intentions were not enough. Her altruism and sense of natural justice stuck to my mind. Animals still seemed like beasts, but they felt more deserving of a fate than being on some blue-blood’s lap for a measly sum. 

The night had me turning from the guilt, but I was able to sleep. In my dream, I remember seeing a tree full of delicious apples. It hit me that if I made a stable life through a few crops, I’d have less need for hunting.

The next morning, I woke early to the warm orange sky. In this sunrise, I foraged for different food after my chores, hoping to find seeds along the way. While none came to me, I fetched some blackberries into a basket. 

My footsteps from the previous day made a path to Raven’s tree, and I was able to see her perched on a thick branch. I called out to her but she was quiet, no doubt still upset at me. I placed the basket’s handle atop her tree’s lower branch and left. 

The rest of the morning and afternoon was spent doing more jobs for the significant people who needed my assistance. Chopping wood, ore retrieval, fetching dyes, and the like. I was coated in sweat and grime, and my legs nearly gave in from the walking. But I felt a desire to head back to the woods.

To my surprise, the blackberries were gone. Did she take them? Or did some other creature take its fill? In any case, someone was fed. 

But as I walked toward it, a glimmer shone from inside. It was an emerald! Does she know its importance, or how much it could ease my living? Just a simple batch of berries gave me more value than a week’s worth of toil for bosses. I tried not to overthink it, as it was fair enough that she did not detest me anymore.

I felt a brightness in me that mirrored the green gem. How much was there to Raven? I thought of her more that evening up ‘til the night, thinking about her in various ways. There is so much that she has seen with that gift of flight, and her stories must be amazing tales.

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #fantasy #monster girl #raven woman #njm

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 1.4 (Pool Party)

The Actual First Episode

A classic Lizzie Mcguire episode

- For some strange reason, this episode was considered episode #4 and the fourth episode to air even though the production code for this episode is '101′. Meaning that chronologically, this is episode #1 and probably the series pilot. It’s no wonder that all the kids look a lot younger here than in other episodes.

- That being said, let’s begin my episode recap. Lizzie is running through an obstacle course during P.E. class and she’s having a miserable time; I can definitely relate. Side note: Coach Kelly is played by Dot Marie Jones, who also played Coach Beiste on the hit Fox television series, Glee.

- Cartoon Lizzie, who is Lizzie’s conscience gives us a brief commentary on the different social circles in her gym class and she describes herself as someone who doesn’t fit in any category. I can also relate to her in that aspect just because during high school, I didn’t fit into any sort of clique. And that’s fine because having multiple interests and friends from different walks of life was beneficial to me.

Introducing Lizzie’s BFFs and Classmates

This is so pure, I love it

- Babies! They look so young here for real. Miranda is first introduced as Lizzie’s best friend and they basically confide in each others secrets. But more about Miranda later on.

Gordo is so cute but extremely wise for his age

- Lizzie knew Gordo since she was a day out of her mom’s womb. She describes him as “smart, funny, creative and right about everything”. That’s our Gordo for sure.

Kate looks quite different here and it’s not because of the face she’s pulling

- Kate Sanders, as you all know is Lizzie’s frenemy but former best friend because she hit puberty and became popular because of that. I kinda need more info on how that happened. Did the other girls suddenly look up to her? Or did Kate suddenly develop a lot of confidence and a mean attitude to pair?

Danny Kessler was more visible at the start of the series. I wonder what happened?

- I believe Danny was meant to play a larger part in the show; However, his character just kind of faded into the background later on only to be somewhat replaced by Ethan Craft, who is a far better character in my opinion. He serves the purpose of being the hottest boy in school who girls go gaga for and that’s about it really. Danny invites Lizzie and Miranda to a pool party on Saturday and they lose their minds from the invitation. 

The Mcguire Household

Lizzie vs Dad and Matt lol. Jo as referee.

- I found this scene, which introduces us to Lizzie’s parents and brother to be a little chaotic; Lizzie tells her family that she’s been invited by the ‘hunk-in-training’ of the school to a party. We also get mentions of spit-swapping and strip poker as well as her dad thinking she has been kissing Danny and having second thoughts on allowing her to go to this party.

- Well, Lizzie doesn’t have to worry about it because she can’t go either way because her Nana’s 80th birthday party falls on the same day. Lizzie gets mad and storms off. I’m guessing her Nana lives out of town and so, it isn’t possible to go to her birthday party and also come back for Danny’s party on the same day.

Miranda’s Betrayal

- Lizzie vents to Miranda and Gordo about not being able to make it to Danny Kessler’s pool party and because of that, being the best friend Miranda is supposed to be, she tells Lizzie that she too won’t be attending his party either in order to show her support for Lizzie.

Side note: Knowing that this episode was written by Terri Minsky, I made the connection that Gordo’s parents who are shrinks is similar to Andi Mack Cyrus’s parents and step-parents being therapists too.

- Kate approaches Miranda and asks her a favor to ask her mom to draw some fake, temporary tattoos on her and her friends for the upcoming party. Miranda accepts and agrees to hang out with Kate after school, which pretty much means she’s re-attending the party and hence, betraying Lizzie in the process.

Miranda is disliked by most fans because of instances like this

- I honestly cannot be too hard on Miranda because she’s only 13 and everyone at school keeps talking about the pool party. Plus, she has a crush on Danny. So, I can’t fault her for ditching Lizzie but she could have at least asked Kate if Lizzie could come along to her house.

- However, I didn’t like how Lizzie was sitting by herself in the same school bus as Miranda and Kate and Miranda did not bother to ask her to sit with them. Even if Kate isn’t willing to let her, she should definitely stand her ground. Poor Lizzie has to sit with this one kid who proudly picks his nose and flicks it.

“Eww! Ya Nasty!” *in Raven Baxter’s voice

Obligation vs Being Forced to do things

- Jo Mcguire is on the phone talking to someone about trying to get out of volunteering to write for a newsletter. Lizzie overhears this and confronts her mom for being hypocritical as she is forcing Lizzie to attend her Nana’s birthday party whilst she herself is trying to come up with an excuse to get out of doing something else.

- I get what Lizzie means; how is it okay for her mom to make excuses while she can’t? Well, Jo is an adult, so excuses are something that she is able to make and bear the responsibilities that come out of it. Lizzie is still a kid and I believe that her old grandma’s birthday is more important than some middle school party.

Heart to Heart

- After Lizzie confines herself in her room, Jo deploys her husband, Sam to try to get Lizzie to open up by asking him to use a simple yet complicated technique known as the ‘hairbrush routine’, which is making an excuse to look for something in the room and proceed to talk about a neutral topic and only engage with the questioning at hand when she makes eye contact and speaks in full sentences. Lol, that’s a mouthful.

- Luckily, we did get this beautiful moment in the end:

Give me some tissues :(

Gordo is the Man

This is some good acting imo

- Can we first talk about that long stare between Lizzie and Miranda in the hallway when Miranda, Kate and her crew were walking past Lizzie by her locker? Their expressions were so believable; I can almost read the dialog between their faces alone.

- Lizzie complains to Gordo and accuses Miranda for being a hypocrite but Gordo tells Lizzie that she shouldn’t be mad at her because the party was something Miranda really wanted to go to.

- Ughh, it’s hard. The position Miranda was put in is so difficult. It’s either she doesn’t go to the party to show her loyalty or she does go and have the best time of her life but risk having her friend hate her because of it. Either way, I think Lizzie shouldn’t be mad at Miranda regardless. There are plenty more episodes for that in the future.

- Gordo delivers the final blow when he says that he wasn’t even invited to the party and that pretty much cancels out all of Lizzie’s arguments.

Another cute Lizzie x Gordo moment

Lizzie makes up with her Mom and Miranda

- Jo enters Lizzie’s room and tells her that her Nana is going to Las Vegas to play poker and so, Lizzie is free to go to the pool party. What a grandma haha! I’m happy they hugged it out. I don’t like Lizzie being mad at her mom.

- Lizzie decided to skip the party (good for her!) and she and Gordo played in the backyard and made art by dipping a huge piece of cloth in some color dye to create a really cool effect.

- Miranda unexpectedly shows up at Lizzie’s backyard after leaving the pool party and turns out, she had a bad time because Kate’s ankle swelled up from the tattoo and she had to sit with her in the locker room. She also admits being a bad friend to Lizzie for blowing her off.

- Lizzie doesn’t hold any grudge and she and Miranda are back to being besties!

Overall Thoughts

- There was a lot to talk about in this episode from Lizzie’s relationship woes with her best friend to her feeling like her opinions and thoughts are not seen as valid by her family. I do think that for how Lizzie was so upset at Miranda, she kinda forgave her too easily. But I don’t think I would want to see them continue to not be on speaking terms for more than 1 episode.

- I am glad that there was no unnecessary sub-plot involving Matt and Sam in this episode. His story-lines are really a hit or miss to me. I prefer the ones where his relationship with his friends and family are tested as well as when he faced situations that gave him character development. I don’t like the goofy, comic-relief ones like last episode’s cooking fiasco.

#lizzie mcguire #lizzie mcguire reboot #lizzie x gordo #disney channel #disney #lizzie mcguire season 1 #pool party #hilary duff #episode review #episode recap #old disney shows #disney nostalgia #old disney channel #terri minsky #hallie todd #robert carradine #jake thomas #adam lamberg #lalaine #2000sdisney #disney plus #disney series #teen comedy #best friends