#I had to get this out of my brain and on this hellsite where other deranged individuals would get a kick out of it

[pink-sparkly-witch]

The Widow Timestamp: I Love You

Summary: Sam tells Y/N that he loves her for the first time. This is basically PWP.

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Female Reader

Rating: 18+ Only

Bingo Square: Jared Padalecki Character for @j3bingo 

Warnings: flirting, kissing, smut, fingering, hand job, p in v.

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: My first journey into Sam smut… please be kind 😅 Please consider reblogging to spread this far and wide around this Hellsite or leave a little comment. It really does fuel our muse. If you’re too shy or too cool for people to know you read fanfic and you don’t want it showing on your blog, you can submit an anonymous ask or drop me a DM 💖

You can catch up with The Widow here!

My Masterlist     AO3     Ko-Fi

SAM’S POV

“Hey, Dean,” Sam says as he answers his phone.

“Sammy, you better not bail on me tonight,” Dean grumbles, getting straight to the point as always.

“I’ll be there,” he responds. Honestly, the week he’s had at work, meeting his dad and brother at a bar on a Friday night is the last thing he wants or needs right now. A night lounging in sweats, eating Chinese food, and watching a movie he didn’t need to use too much brain power for, is what he really wants to be doing.

“Good. Just checking. Can only get you away from the office if it’s for your girl these days, so…” Dean said.

“Yeah,” Sam chuckles. “Sorry about that. She, uh…” he trails off with a chuckle, lost in thoughts of his girlfriend.

“I know, Sammy,” Dean says, and Sam can hear the smile in his older brother’s voice. “She can’t come, right?” he checks. 

“No, it’s her friend’s birthday, so they’re having a girls night,” Sam says, sounding slightly less enthusiastic than he meant to. 

“What’s the matter? Y/N got you so pussy whipped already that you can’t stand the thought of being away from her for one night?” Dean laughs, and Sam chuckles along with him.

His brother isn’t completely wrong. He and Y/N have been dating for almost three months and are blissfully in the honeymoon period of their relationship, where they can’t get enough of each other or bear to be apart for too long.

“No, it’s… I’m just tired, is all. It’s been a long week at the office. And it’s the firm’s family day tomorrow, so I’ll see Y/N then, anyway.”

“That’s right. She’s meeting all the big guns for the first time! Are you nervous?” Dean asks, and Sam sighs loudly.

“Yeah. I shouldn’t be. I mean, who cares if they like her, right? Because I do, and that’s all that matters. It’s just… if I want to make partner one day, things like stable relationships and who your other half is seems to have a say in it,” Sam admits.

“They’re gonna love her, man. I think it’d be hard for anyone not to fall in love with her,” Dean reassures him. “You found a good one, Sammy. Hold onto her.”

“I know, I will.”

Despite his earlier reluctance to spend the night in a bar with his dad and brother, Sam is having a great time. With work and Y/N, it’d been a while since he’s spent this much time with them, making him feel a little guilty.

Sam’s worries about his dad and Dean teasing him about ‘his girl’ are quickly dampened when his dad asks if things are serious between them. Both men had smiled and clapped him on the back at his confirmation that it was and that he was confident she was it for him. The only slightly teasing remark so far has been from his dad.

“Better start saving for a ring, son,” John chuckles.

With both men grinning at him like idiots, Sam feels a hand slide across his shoulders. “I’m flattered, but I have a girlfriend,” he says without turning around.

“No, I’m flattered,” Y/N responds, and he smiles before turning to face his girlfriend. “And very reassured.”

“Hey, baby. What are you doing here? I thought girls’ night was across town?” Sam asks as he stands to kiss her.

“Well,” Y/N huffs with a roll of her eyes. “It was, and we were having a great time, but Charlie dragged us all the way over here because she found out the girl she’s crushing on works here. And, you know, can’t say no to the birthday girl!”

“Well, can’t say I’m not happy about that,” Sam chuckles, placing his arm around her shoulders. “You look beautiful, baby.”

“Thank you,” she smiles and glances down his body before she speaks again. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear plaid before. I like it. It’s a good look on you,” she stretches up on her tiptoes to kiss him again.

“Noted,” Sam chuckles, and Y/N giggles.

“Alright, I’ve had enough of this lovey-dovey bullcrap. Makes me wanna vomit,” Dean winks to show his jest and stands from the table. “Can I get you a drink, sweetheart?”

“No, thanks,” Y/N shakes her head. “I have one waiting for me at my table and probably three tequila shots by now. I just wanted to come over and say hi.”

“Do you, uh, wanna come to my place when you’re, you know?” Sam asks quietly, hoping it’s quiet enough that only she can hear him. His dad’s chuckle and Dean’s slap on the back, and a “Get it, Sammy!” make him want a hole to open in the ground and swallow him.

Y/N laughs, covering her face with her hands in embarrassment before he watches her take a deep breath and pull herself together.

“I’d love to, Sam. But the cardinal rule of girls night is that you can’t bail on girls night. Especially for a guy. You know that, right? It’s the whole ‘chicks before dicks’ thing. So, there is no way I’m getting to sneak away from that,” Y/N points to the table of women laughing loudly and downing shots, “before midnight.”

“I’ll wait up,” Sam grins charmingly with a mischievous glint in his hazel eyes, watching Y/N’s facial expressions intently as she takes in and interprets his meaning.

“Well, alright then. Guess I’ll see you later,” Y/N said, biting on her plump bottom lip.

“Yeah, you will. Have a good night, baby,” Sam leans down and presses another kiss to her lips.

“You too,” Y/N smirks, pulling Sam down by the lapels of his shirt for one last kiss. “It was good to see you again, John,” she smiles as she reluctantly parts from Sam.

“And you, sweetheart,” John smiles. “You’ll be over for dinner on Sunday, right?”

“I wouldn’t miss it,” Y/N returns his smile before turning her attention to the eldest Winchester son. “Dean, that table,” she gestures in the general direction of where her friends are, “is out of bounds.”

“What? But why? Come on, Y/N! There are some real hotties over—” Dean tries, but Y/N’s warning scowl and raised eyebrow make him back down.

“I mean it, Dean! I don’t want my friends badgering me for your number, or with questions about what they did wrong, or asking me to ask Sam to ask you why you didn’t call,” Y/N chuckles.

“Fine,” Dean huffs in resignation before walking over to the bar.

“Good. I’ll see you later, Sam.”

Y/N’S POV

12:45am

The cab pulls away from the curb, and you walk up the path to Sam’s house. Stopping at the door, you take a second to fluff your hair. You’ve never been like this before; never bothering too much about your appearance and certainly never for a guy. Still, you found yourself touching up your makeup and perfume before leaving the bar to come over here, making sure you look perfect for him.

You ring the doorbell and nervously shuffle from foot to foot, wondering if the butterflies you feel with Sam will ever go away. You hope not, as the flutter turns into a swarm when you hear the door unlocking.

“Hey, baby,” Sam smirks, eyes slowly taking in every inch of you. “Glad you came.”

“Well,” you grin as Sam steps to the side, inviting you into his home. “I know what kinda night I’m in for, and I would be a fool to miss out on this.” You trail your fingers up his chest, grab the neck of his t-shirt, and pull him down to meet your lips, kicking the door closed behind you.

Sam pushes his tongue into your mouth and shoves you against the door. He quickly turns the lock, shutting you in for the night. The kiss is hot and heavy, and you whimper as his fingers tug at the zip of your dress.

You shimmy the material down your body and let it pool at your feet, leaving you only in cobalt blue lace underwear. Sam growls, grabbing your thighs and pulling you up his body. You wrap your legs around his waist and arms around his shoulders, as his lips find their place on your cleavage, licking and sucking your skin.

Sam’s hand trails up your back and into your hair, pulling it hard enough to force your head back and gain access to your neck. He sucks and nips gently, cautious not to leave a mark, knowing tomorrow is an important day for both of you.

“Sam,” you groan, and fuck, is it the neediest and most pathetic you’ve ever heard yourself. “Need you.”

“Yeah?” Sam rasps, his voice deepened with lust. “Right here, baby?”

“Yes,” you gasp, already breathless, and he’s barely touched you yet.

Sliding his hand over your thigh and pushing it between your bodies, Sam pulls your underwear to the side and, without warning, shoves two fingers inside you. He barely lets you adjust to the intrusion as he immediately begins to thrust his fingers in and out of your tight, wet channel, smirking as you moan his name. 

Curling his fingers inside you, he watches your head fall back and thump against the door. “Fuck,” you grunt, your hands dropping from his shoulders and desperately fumbling with his belt. You love it when Sam builds the pleasure and teases you, but you can’t, not tonight. Tonight you need him now.

“Hey, what’s the hurry, baby? We’ve got all night,” Sam chuckles, but you don’t stop undoing his pants, finally pulling his belt loose and moving quickly to the button on his jeans.

With his jeans finally undone, your hand delves into his boxers and finds their prize. Sam is already fully hard, and you grip his cock and pump your fist as best you can while pinned against his door.

Sam growls when your thumb swipes over his sensitive head, turning you on even more. The wet sound that gets louder and louder with every pump of his fingers inside you should embarrass you, but instead, you moan.

“Fuck, baby,” Sam groans lowly into your ear. “I need to be in you.”

“Yes! Please, Sam,” you whimper as his fingers suddenly leave you empty and wanting. He pulls your hands off his cock and teases your clit with its tip before he pushes inside you in one slow thrust.

“Shit,” you whine, still not used to his generous length stretching and filling you so completely. You’ve never had anyone reach so deeply within you, and you swear you can feel him in your stomach.

Sam holds himself fully sheathed inside you, this time allowing your fluttering walls time to stretch to accommodate him, and his lips find yours in a passionate kiss that’s all teeth and tongue.

The second you feel yourself relax around him, he pulls out to the tip and slams back in, punching the air from your lungs. He doesn’t let up, pounding into you ferociously, and your high builds quickly.

Sam’s large hands grip your thighs, and you groan loudly, trying to remember to choose a long dress or pants to wear tomorrow because you can already feel bruises forming where his fingertips are digging into your soft muscle.

It’s become one of your favourite things; the colourful little bruises that litter your skin thanks to his groping hands. He’s an animal in the bedroom, but when it’s over, he always places soft kisses on every mark he leaves in his carnal state.

“Sam, I’m close,” you whine as you slide your hands into his hair and tug on the long strands.

“Oh, sweetheart, I know. I can feel it,” Sam says through gritted teeth. Unexpectedly, he pulls out of you, and you growl in frustration, tugging his hair harder to emphasise your displeasure.

“What the—? Sam, come on! I was nearly there!” You whine, pouting at him when he chuckles, tightening his grip on you and walking towards the sofa.

“I know, and I wanna watch you,” Sam smirks, and you feel heat rising to your cheeks.

“Watch me?” you murmur breathlessly.

“I wanna watch you come, and I wanna do it while you ride me.” Sam’s lopsided smirk creates another pool of wetness in your core, and you seem to have lost the ability to speak. “Is that alright, baby?” You nod and gulp, your words still failing you.

“Alright,” Sam says as he unwraps your legs from his waist and puts you down on shaky legs. He pulls your underwear down enough that it falls to your feet before ridding himself of all his clothing.

“Then get riding.” He smacks your ass, sits on the couch, and waits for you to climb onto his lap. You stretch your arms behind your back, ready to unclasp your bra, but Sam clicking his tongue stops you.

“Uh uh, baby. Leave it on,” Sam grins, and you smirk as you finally climb onto his lap and take his cock in your hand, placing it at your entrance and sinking down slowly. When your skin meets his, your head falls back with a gasp.

Sam’s hands drag up your body, pausing to toy with your nipples behind the blue lace. He slides the straps down your shoulders, exposing your hardening buds to the cool air briefly before his lips cover one and his hand the other.

Raising your hips up and down his length, you find a rhythm and angle that lets you feel every ridge of him glide perfectly between your walls, hitting all the right spots and making you see stars.

“Sam, baby, I…” You grind your hips through your orgasm, and Sam grunts as your walls clench him.

“That’s it, good girl,” Sam murmurs, kissing your sweat-slicked chest. “Hold onto me, baby.” He takes your arms and wraps them around his shoulders; you know it’s his turn now, and he won’t stop until he gets what he wants.

Sam lifts you and lays you on the couch, moving your hands from his shoulders and placing them above your head, trapping them with just one of his own. His other hand grips your thigh and pushes it, forcing your legs to open wide for him.

The first thrust is heaven, hitting everywhere all at once, and you and Sam’s grunting confirms that your walls are still fluttering, clenching, and sucking him in.

“Fuck, Y/N, you feel so good,” Sam groans, his hips moving impossibly faster and pushing in deeper and deeper.

Your eyes roll, and you scream Sam’s name as he sends you soaring over the edge again, taking him with you.

“Fuck, Y/N!” Sam gasps, grinding himself into you, and you feel his release coat your quivering walls. “Fuck, my girl’s got a good pussy. So fucking good, baby.” You’d giggle at his praise if you hadn’t lost the ability to breathe, let alone speak.

Sam drops his head to your chest, kissing over every inch as he grinds against your cervix. You moan with every twitch of him inside you, and when his kisses turn to bites and sucks, you add a high neckline to the list of requirements for tomorrow’s outfit.

He lets go of your hands, and they instantly go to him, wrapping around his back and holding him against you for a little longer.

“I love you,” Sam says, leaving your breasts alone to look at you.

“Yeah?” you smile widely. It’s the first time either of you has said it, and it feels good. It feels right. “You’re not just saying that in your post-orgasmic haze?” you chuckle.

“No. I have for a while now. I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you, too, Sam.”

Tags: @chriszgirl92 @deans-baby-momma @deanwanddamons @duncanhillscoffeecups @foxyjwls007 @giggles1026 @hobby27 @hoboal87 @impala67rollingthroughtown @jc-winchester @k-slla @kazsrm67 @kmc1989 @lacilou @leigh70 @lyarr24 @maliburenee @michecolegate @nancymcl @negans-lucille-tblr @octoberclidan @nelachu2423 @perpetualabsurdity @roseblue373 @sandlee44 @sexyvixen7 @snackles87 @spnbaby-67 @spnwoman @stixnstripesworld @stoneyggirl2 @synmorite @tristanrosspada-ackles @twinkleinadiamondsky @waters-2567

#j3bingo #the widow #timestamp #au sam winchester x reader #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester smut #sam winchester fluff #sam winchester

[place-called-space]

it’s finals week and i’m genuinely dying trying to write all these final projects and essays for my classes but... there’s a smutty one shot idea for our favorite lawyer that’s been rattling around in my brain for ages and i’m not sure if i can ignore it for much longer🫣

it'll be my first relatively plotless one shot that i'd post on this hellsite but there's been such a drought of matty fics recently that i feel compelled to feed and water the masses

i probably won't get around to actually writing it until after this week, and we'll be lucky if i post it by the end of next week, but for now let me set the scene 🫶🏼

content warning: dom/sub dynamics (orgasm control/denial, ruined orgasm, edging), semi-public phone sex? (matt’s in his office with the door closed but it’s implied that karen and foggy are in the next room), masturbation (male and female, but neither of them actually cum), fingering, reader is ✨sexually frustrated✨ so she slips into subspace easily, body worship/fantisization? (reader has a very active imagination and she actively imagines several naughty situations with matt), reader’s wet dream (not super detailed, just mentioned in passing)

it feels like it's been weeks since the two of you have spent any real time together.

the firm has been busy with some high-paying client that they're not in a financial position to turn down, so it's been all hands on deck for the better part of the last month. matt has to leave before you get up, but he nudges you awake to say goodbye, pressing a kiss to your forehead and letting you know if he has a lunch meeting or not so you can call and hear his voice for a blessed 30 minutes.

and because the universe hates you, matt's duties as daredevil haven't eased up either. all you've been able to get out of him is that he's been staking out one of the smaller crime families in hell's kitchen that have been looking for an opportunity to gain more power. he hears whispers of smugglers and arms deals and he barely has time to scarf down some eggs and toast-

(carbs and protein to hold him over until he can turn in for the night and warm up the plate you always left for him)

-before he's sheathed in kevlar and leather, shouting over his shoulder to not wait up for him before fleeing out the roof access door.

and of course you miss him.

you used to make coffee for you both as he got ready for work, chatting idly about that crime docuseries karen had recommended and getting matt to translate the legal jargon. you'd loop his tie around his neck, tightening the knot before pulling him down for a kiss, passing him his briefcase before sending him off to work.

he'd come home after work, smiling as he came through the door because he'd been able to hear your voice from the lobby as you made dinner, singing along to one of his favorite vinyl records. soft jazz and pasta sauce and you would smother his senses as soon as he stepped into the apartment and as soon as he shucked off his shoes and set his briefcase down, he'd round the kitchen island and wrap his arms around your waist from behind, nuzzling at your neck and peppering your skin with kisses, reveling in the delighted giggles you let out.

but with his new schedule, the apartment seemed so empty.

you were eating alone and washing one set of dishes, sleeping in a bed too big and too cold for just you. you missed the way his arms would wind around you as you slept, the fearsome vigilante that struck fear into the hearts of criminals throughout the city suddenly becoming a cuddle octopus, greedy to feel your skin on his.

you missed all the small, sweet things about him, the romantic moments that would make your heart melt... but you also missed the steamy, intimate moments where your hands would wander each other's bodies, unwilling to be separated for even a moment.

it had been weeks since you'd had sex, and you missed the way his cock split you open, the low, hoarse growl his voice would become as he crooned poisoned honey into your ear, the delicious mix of praise and degradation turning your brain to mush.

you could feel your own impatience building with each night you went unsatisfied, a dull ache beginning to throb between your legs as your body struggled to adapt. you'd gone from cumming at least once a day to nothing at all in the blink of an eye, and you were having trouble adjusting.

waking up to an empty bed for the third week in a row had nearly sent you into a fit, your panties already soaked through from the remnants of a blissful dream where matt had tied you up, your legs bent and spread wide as he toyed with your puffy folds, his fingers slick with your arousal as he'd slowly slid them inside you...

fed up, your hand had already dipped below the waistband of your sleep shorts, your fingers barely brushing your clit, a soft moan leaving you as your body finally got some relief-

but then your phone rang, matt's handsome face beaming up at you. taunting you.

you answered the phone with a breathy call of "matty" because you knew he'd heard you and two could play at that game, and the low octave with which he says your name makes you moan again, pleasure sparking to life in your core as you sink two fingers into your drooling cunt.

matt calls your name sharply, clicking his tongue in disapproval.

"naughty girl," he admonishes, his voice somehow both sweet and condescending. "so impatient. i'd wondered how long it would take you to break, but i didn't expect it to be so soon."

you whine into the receiver, your anger melting away as you remembered you hadn't been the only one suffering these last few weeks. it must've been nothing short of torture for matt to wake up to the smell of your arousal, his rapidly swelling cock nestled against your ass, aching and eager to satisfy the primal urge to mark you in every way possible. and yet, every morning, he'd forced himself to ignore it, to take a cold shower and hurriedly get dressed, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead before shuffling out of the apartment, still half-hard.

the thought only made you more desperate for him. god, did you wish he was here with you, with his much thicker fingers stuffing your pussy, stretching you out and prepping you so you could take his thick cock. you wanted him under you, breathlessly kneading the flesh of your tits as you bounced on his cock, your eyes rolling back as his impressive length dragged against that special spongey spot inside you with each smack of your hips against his, your cunt squeezing him tight and drawing out the pleasure for both of you.

but the apartment was empty and his side of the bed was cold, his scent faint on the silk sheets you both adored. a pang of loneliness hit you then, wanting his skin on yours and his voice filling your head with mindless praise.

frustrated tears stung at your eyes, but you were determined to make the most of this. you had him on the phone, you had a shot at getting what you wanted. all you needed was a few more words from him, maybe a countdown if you were lucky. you were so worked up, you could probably cum just from him reading you the new york penal code.

so you beg.

"please, matty," you whine prettily, another breathy little moan leaving you as you begin to pump your fingers in and out of your dripping pussy, the friction delicious after so long with nothing. "i need-"

"what you need," matt cuts you off swiftly, his voice so dark and commanding even through the phone that your body freezes, "is some manners. i enjoy spoiling you, sweetheart, but that doesn't mean you can cum without permission."

the whine you let out this time is significantly more petulant than before, the sound high and needy, but matt quickly curbs your bad attitude with another click of his tongue, his disapproval clear.

"don't be a brat," he says, patronizing and confident in his control over you. "just because i've been busy doesn't mean i forgot about my sweet girl."

the pet name makes your breath catch in your throat. matt hardly ever called you that. he'd always preferred the softer, more affectionate nicknames. sweetheart. darling. the occasional honey and sweetie.

but sweet girl? that coveted term of endearment had always been wreathed in coarse shadow instead of suave charm, cooed in the low, dangerous tone of the Devil.

your cunt clenches around the fingers you still have buried within yourself, though they had long since stalled their movements, and matt, damn him, somehow knows that he has you hooked, a satisfied purr meeting your ears.

"there we go," you hear him murmur, pleased. "there's my sweet girl. so good for me, i didn't even have to tell you to stop. no punishment for you, then, but you'll still have to earn your reward."

the breath that leaves you is half desire, half relief, already squirming on the bed. surely he just wanted a show, something to hold him over until the work day was done and he could come home and have his way with you. your moans would replay in his head all day, your breathless cry of his name making his cock twitch beneath his desk every time it echoed through his mind, his thoughts muddled and disjointed as he struggled to focus on the case.

"tell me what to do," you plead, your own thoughts already growing fuzzy around the edges, dizzy with anticipation of the climax he was sure to grant you. "miss you so much, matty... i wanna be good…"

matt groans low on the other line, an excited shiver running through you as you hear the barely audible "fuck" accompany the distinct sound of his belt unbuckling.

"need to hear you, sweet girl," he hisses. a shaky exhale leaves him next, and you imagine he's just freed his cock, the vein running along the shaft throbbing. the tip is probably flushed a dark pink and probably already leaking salty precome, his balls heavy and full from almost a full month of not satisfying himself.

christ, was your mouth watering?

"go on, sweet girl," matt tells you, his voice hoarse. "keep touching yourself. make yourself feel good."

far be it from you to disobey a direct order.

your fingers began thrusting once more, your low, breathy moans becoming high and whiney within minutes, not making an effort to silence yourself. matt wanted a show, so you were going to give him one, noise complaints be damned.

it doesn't take long for the knot within your belly to tighten, your body teetering on the edge of a long-awaited orgasm. you were practically half-delirious, so grateful for the pleasure that you'd already begun expressing your gratitude, your thanks garbled and slurred but genuine nonetheless.

you don't hear the mean, condescending bark of laughter, too caught up in your own ecstasy. you were so close, your forearm burning and your cunt beginning to pulse as you neared the edge, your jaw falling slack as you prepared for the monumental release of pleasure-

"stop."

your body obeyed without consciously thinking about it, your fingers slipping out of you. your poor cunt clenches and flutters around nothing, feeling achingly empty as your pleasure stalls and curdles, spoiling like milk in the sun.

you lay there for a moment, your chest heaving as you try to figure out what happened. your pussy was sensitive and tingling, still pulsing weakly with a ruined orgasm that had given you no satisfaction. you wanted more, damn it, but most of all, you wanted him.

"matty," you cry brokenly, vision blurry with frustrated tears. "why did you... why..."

Your rambling was slurred but audible to your tormenter, his delighted chuckles making you shudder.

"sorry, sweet girl," matt said, not an ounce of remorse in his voice, "but i wanna be there with you when you cum. i need to feel that pretty pussy squeeze my cock, need to hear you moan my name as i fuck you."

he lets out a strained groan, and you imagine he has his fist wrapped tightly around the base of his cock, preventing himself from reaching the pinnacle he'd so cruelly snatched you away from.

you hadn't cum, but neither did he.

you whine at the thought, your pussy still fluttering weakly. you sniffle quietly, still mourning your ruined orgasm, and there's a burst of static, like he'd just sighed.

"you did so well for me, sweetie," matt murmurs, his tone no longer mean, but warm and loving. "i know it hurts, but i'll make it up to you tonight. i'll make you feel so good, you'll forget this ever happened."

though your eyes are still glassy with tears, matt's subtle switch in temperament did wonders for your mood, the promise of pleasure soothing your wounded pride. you sniffle again, working up the courage to meekly inquire, "promise?"

matt hums again, and you can imagine the pleased grin on his face as he purrs your name, the sound of his voice making you melt.

"i promise."

a/n: my brain literally couldn’t focus on anything else while i had this mf rattling around in there. this will be an actual oneshot at some point where we actually get some gratification, maybe even a two-parter! depending on how fried my brain is after cranking out multiple 2k word finals, it could be posted in either 5 days or 5 years or anywhere in between.

i do actually like writing guys i swear 😭 but i’m a humanities major so i do a lot of writing for my degree and my free time consists of thinking about the roman empire (for my major) and reading greek philosophy (also for my major).

glad i got this out as proof of life, didn’t mean to be horny on main but there is no other valid response when it comes to mr. murdock. i hope you guys enjoyed and let me know what you think!

- estrella ★

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock smut #no use of y/n #x reader fic #daredevil #matt murdock #matt murdock x f!reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x fem!reader #x reader #nmcu fic #nmcu daredevil #marvel daredevil #daredevil fic #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock fic #fanfic #fanfiction #second person pov #2nd person pov

[jmdbjk]

Tumblr anniversary

It's been TWO years since I chose to take up residence here on this hellsite/app.

Last year, when I posted about my Tumblr anniversary, Jungkook had just dropped his thirst trap birthday greeting to Jimin. And Yet to Come Busan had not happened yet. No one was enlisted yet. We had no idea that we were about to have our hearts ripped out by Jin's enlistment announcement.

My, what innocent babes we were.

So much has happened since last October other than the afore mentioned Yet to Come Busan concert and Jin's enlistment announcement.

We watched the members emotional sendoff to Jin in December. We watched them do it again for Hobi in April. We didn't see but we know Yoongi has begun his service. We don't need to see it. We are pretty certain within the next two months we will be sending another 2 or 3 or maybe even the rest of them off to do theirs as well.

We got The Astronaut, Dreamers, Indigo, a Christmas song from Tae, Vibe, Face, D-Day (and a tour and I saw Yoongi!!), Angel Pt. 1 & 2, The Planet, another version of Jack-in-the-Box, Take Two, Seven, Layover, 3D and we anxiously anticipate Golden. What am I missing? More collabs that Namjoon did with others. We got so much music I can't remember it all.

We've seen the clothing come off of every member. Some more than others. But still. Chapter Two is not about taking their shirts off, as Tae said...yeah, whatever Tae... it is about transitioning to a more mature image including taking control of their professional and personal images, their bodies, their autonomy, their maturity and sexuality. And boy howdy...

We got a very complex and far-reaching BTS 10th Anniversary Festa celebration that took place across the world.

We got Kook Cooks, Flying Yoga, Wootteo, Suchwita, Namjoon on Big Brains and Many of them Sitting at the Same Table Talking (or whatever the name of that show was), Dior Jimin, Tiffany Jimin, Calvin Klein Jungkook, Valentino and NBA Yoongi, Louis Vuitton Hobi, Bottega Veneta Namjoon, Cartier and Celine Taehyung, dance challenges.

We inadvertently got Jungkook's TikTok through his own error and now we are pretty sure the other members INCLUDING JIMIN are lurking on all the soc med platforms.

We got so much Jungkook being himself. And we watched him go from being fine with his couch potato cushion existence to being Mr. World Traveler who can't stay in one place for more than a few days before he's off again to who knows where and adding to Jimin's list of things to fret over.

We got a nice quantity of sweet quality interaction of Jimin and Tae just yesterday. This healed me.

We have heard over and over how each member is anxiously excited to get back and hurry up and show us they still have it.

There has not been any lack of things to talk about. There has not been any lack of controversy. We've seen things we probably weren't meant to see and we've seen things that are dubious as to their authenticity and things that were obviously made for us to see.

Like one of those of flying bird flock murmurations, the fandom is shifting and changing, spreading out and coalescing and doing all this repeatedly as we navigate this period of time before they get back together in 2025.

I hope we don't run off the rails this next year and that we all can find some common ground so we can stand together at the threshold of 2025 in anticipation of their comeback.

And sooooo many more of you have chosen to follow my weird ramblings, rantings and odd posts. Thank you for taking time to give my blog any consideration.

#jikook continue to jikook regardless #bts chapter 2 #happy birthday bro #jikook in the sheets #i was getting a pedicure and Vibe played and I almost chair danced #happyanniversary

[hidden-impish-creature]

Since Tumblr spat some ace discourse onto my dash like it's 2014...

"Cishet aroace" is an oxymoron. If someone is both asexual and aromantic, they cannot be cisHET because they are neither heterosexual nor heteroromantic. They're not het so they're not cishet. Simple as.

Cishet asexuals can exist because they can still be cisgender and heteroromantic. Cishet aromantics can exist because they can still be cisgender and heterosexual. Cishet aces and cishet aros are real and can be referred to as such.

But there are no "cishet aroaces" because they're not het. If they're both asexual and aromantic, then they aren't attracted to the opposite gender in any way. And that's literally what the "het" in "cishet" means. It's short for "hetero." So you can't exclude aroaces from the LGBTQ+ community solely on the basis that they're cishet. You need to use an argument that doesn't hinge on aroaces being straight, because they're not.

I'm not saying that cishet aces or cishet aros are part of the LGBTQ+ community. I don't really care. I've yet to even encounter one, which makes me wonder if this discourse was ever really about them. The problem here is that people try to use the same argument for people who literally cannot be cishet.

Seeing posts about "cishet aroaces" following that "cishet aro man" poll is giving me psychic damage. Where is the "het" part coming from? You people literally made up a cishet aro to get mad at and then decided that everyone who is aro must also be cishet, even if they're also ace and therefore don't fit half of what that word means.

I've had people in my ask box on my main blog calling me cishet even though I'm openly an ace lesbian dating another girl. Again, where is the "het" part coming from? Does being ace magically make my attraction to other women straight?

Use your brains. Words have meanings, and "cishet" means "cis and het," not "anyone who is aro or ace, regardless of their other identities." Tumblr discourse has misused that word so much, I don't know how to refer to actual cishets without going out of my way to make it clear I mean actual cishets. It's so fucking annoying. You're changing the meaning of important terminology to make it fit whoever you want to exclude. I love this hellsite but sometimes I worry.

#can you all just... go back to twitter already #impish rants #ace #asexual #asexuality #aro #aromantic #aromanticism #tw aphobia #tw discourse #aroace #aspec #(I'm not aro but I'm tagging this with aro tags because this is largely about aros always being called cishet even if they're not.) #aphobe bullshit #funny thing is they'll say the SAM isn't real but then they'll also use it to explain how an ace can still be straight romantically

[foolsgender]

I am trans dean content starved, so please gimme a little crumb, a little something something, a measly little headcannon (or 30), a rant, anything, I beg of you 🙏 I am on this hellsite only for trans dean Winchester content and I just know you know what's up fr

okay sorry this took SO long to respond to but nothing was coming to me. anyway here’s 822 words of a trans dean s12 rewrite where Mary comes back and they both have to cope with how much everything has changed

—

When he spots her, shrouded in that nightgown, long hair as golden as he remembers, he assumes that Amara lied—that her gift for him was to die, and to go to heaven.

That wouldn’t be a bad gift, actually. To finally rest.

But this doesn’t feel like paradise. There’s still an ache in his knees and his upper back, and he’s almost choking on the sticky summer heat.

He takes a few steps, hands flexing, cautious. “Mom?”

Mary rises from her seat and fixes him with a look that lands somewhere between fear and confusion.

When she doesn’t say anything, Dean struggles to fill the silence himself. “Are you.. really…” he struggles to find the words, heart hammering in his throat “…real?” One hand extends towards her shoulder, shaky. It might just pass through.

But before he can make contact, she whips both hands across to grab his arm, hooks her foot around his leg, and slams him face down into the grass. She plants a foot against his neck to hold him there, surprisingly strong.

Yeah, she’s real.

“Where am I?” She demands, the smallest waver in her voice giving away her fear. “Who are you?”

This is gonna be a hard one to explain. “Ah—“ he grunts as she presses her heel harder against his neck. “I’m your son.”

“…Sam?” She starts to ease up.

Oops. “The other one.”

The air hums with cicadas. Dean is suddenly grateful for the fact that he’s facedown in the dirt, because he hasn’t had to acknowledge this truth about himself with anyone in a long, long time, and his face feels traitorously red.

“Deanna?” He tries, the name feeling ancient and foreign, like something he’d read out of one of the old lore tomes back in the bunker.

“No… my Deanna is four years old, and…”

Dean shifts beneath her, taking in a shaky breath. “A girl? Yeah. Didn’t stick,” he jokes.

She tightens her grip painfully.

“Ah— mom. I was four years old when you died,” he reminds her, shaky.

In a flash her grip is gone, feet scuffing in the grass as she stumbles back. Dean rises, palms out to catch the next attack—but Mary is bracing herself on the bench, bent over at the waist like she might throw up.

Believe it or not, Dean knows the feeling. The human brain doesn’t really want to remember its own death, and it hurts like a bitch when it all comes racing back in. He keeps his distance, trying to remember how Mary sees him—imposing and unfamiliar. A stranger.

That’s what he sees reflected in her eyes when she finally looks at him again.

“Listen, I know it sounds insane. I know,” he starts, but trails off, losing his pace. That’s his mom. Not a ghost. Not a memory. She’s real.

“How long have I been gone?” She asks, finally getting her balance back.

“Thirty-three years.” Longer than she was ever alive. Long enough that Dean has all but erased any trace of the child she remembers. “And you’re…” she looks him over again, seemingly at a loss for words.

“Dean,” he supplies. He tries to take it as a compliment when she looks skeptical. It would be hard to imagine him as a four year old girl, looking at him now. He’ll give her that.

“Listen, I… I know you, okay? You met John Winchester in 1972. Didn’t like him much at first but he grew on you, and the two of you got married in Reno in 1975. Your idea.” He huffs out a laugh, trying to ignore the anxiety building in his gut. “Your favorite song is Hey Jude. We used to dance to it in the kitchen. I tried to cheer you up by putting it on when dad walked out on us for a few days.”

Mary’s gaze softens. Dean searches her eyes, dying for an ounce of recognition. Love, even. Would she still love him?

She takes a few steps closer, stretching out a hand to rest against his chest, over his heart. Like she’s making sure he’s real. “Dean,” she repeats, trying the name on for size.

“Hi, mom.” Nice to meet you.

They teeter on the edge for a moment. Dean is ready to turn away. To hide his face when she rejects him.

Instead she takes a step forward and wraps her arms around him, warm and tight and god, she even smells the same. It’s a scent that doesn’t quite have a name. Just the scent of home, and of safety. Somewhere under his thickened skin, there’s just a four year old kid hanging onto his mother, burying his face in the soft fabric of her nightgown.

They linger there. It’s Mary who pulls away first. Dean turns to look towards the road, desperately trying to blink away tears. “We should, uh… everyone thinks I’m dead. We should get going.”

#d.ask #d.doc

[grapejuicegay]

Get to know me tag! :)

I was tagged by @telomeke here and @dribs-and-drabbles here.

do you make your bed?

I try to! On days that I'm too busy to make it in the morning I do so about half an hour before I'm getting to bed. I don't like the feeling of getting back into an unmade bed - it feels like a completely unproductive day and that just throws me off

what's your favourite number?

I don't really have a favourite but I love multiples of 7, they make my brain go brrr

what is your job?

Photography! It's something I always wanted to do as a child but gave up on as an unrealistic dream before eventually sort of stumbling into it. Happy accidents and all that.

if you could go back to school, would you?

Hah! No chance. I burnt myself out pretty badly through undergrad by taking on far too much - there were just so many things that I found interesting - and I'd much rather not repeat that experience.

can you parallel park?

I can't drive. I keep meaning to learn but the way people drive freaks me out a little too much. I've also been struggling with a bout of motion sickness recently and that doesn't help my comfort in cars. Someday though! Hopefully!

a job you had that would surprise people?

I worked on editing and post production on a documentary for National Geographic once

do you think aliens are real?

In what form, I'm not sure. But some forms of life that exist outside of our planet? Absolutely. My other answer, channeling the 12 years I've spent on this hellsite: doooweeeewoooooo

can you drive a manual car?

If/when I do finally learn to drive I'm going to make it a point to learn manual too. Idk, feels like an important skill to have

what's your guilty pleasure?

I make it a point not too feel guilty or embarrassed about my interests. If I started doing that far too many things I like would qualify and I just cannot live like that

tattoos?

I wish :( I have a bunch of small tattoos I've always wanted but I have a medical condition because of which I can't get any.

favourite colour?

It changes every so often but I'm particularly biased towards shades of teal right now.

favourite type of music?

I love rock of the general/alt/post/punk variety. Recently I've been listening to a goth-folk band called Charming Disaster and have been a little bit obsessed with their album Our Lady of Radium and especially Radium Girls

do you like puzzles?

Love love love puzzles of any kind. I just like having lil things for my brain to do.

any phobias?

I have a little bit of a phobia of falling off of high places which unfortunately comes from a close call during a hike where I slipped off a steep rock and almost into a sweeping rapids (luckily I ended up slipping sideways into a little pool in a gap between said rock and another big one... took a while to pull my short ass out of there but at least I wasn't being swept away!)

favourite childhood sport?

I was a sporty child, tried my hand at just about most sports. My go to was basketball for a while (though I don't play anymore) but now I'm more inclined to go for a swim or a bout of kickboxing, sometimes badminton. Funny story: over the course of a year I got hit in the nose with 4 different kinds of balls (not that kind!). My nose is fine but I was paranoid around sports grounds for a while after that 😂

do you talk to yourself?

All the time! It honestly helps me keep track of a lot of things, especially when I'm overwhelmed but it's a little funny when my everyday running commentary comes out in front of people. It gets me a lot of strange looks, especially when I ask everyday objects what they think they're doing

what movies do you adore?

Depends on the day you ask. I tried answering this 5 different times but each time I came up with 5 different movies to list out. I really could not pick for this one

coffee or tea?

Coffee! Far, far too much of it!

first thing you wanted to be growing up?

An astronaut. It took me far too long to give up on that pipe dream. But around the time I gave up on that I was getting interested in photography as something to pursue. I was bullied out of it for a few years sadly but hey, I ended up here eventually!

I'm coming to this way too late so I'm not really sure who hasn't done this yet. I'm just going to tag @casualavocados @celestial-sapphicss @jemmo

And like both Tel and Lin mentioned, I've been far too busy to be on tumblr too much recently (most of 2024) and so a lot of stuff I've been tagged in has slipped through the cracks. Most of it is in my drafts somewhere and sometimes it just feels too late to bring it back. I still love all of you though and I'm sorry!

#ask games #i'm late but i'm here!!

[sesshy380]

I've honestly lost track of who I have and haven't sent this to (and am still in shock at the amount I've received in return!)

I am following 250+ blogs, and I honestly love seeing stuff across my dash from all of them; each and every single one for a different variety of reasons! There are so many creative and inspiring individuals here that I would cry if this hellsite went to absolute shit.

If we've ever had a brief interaction that had that awkward period of no interaction and now 'it's probably going to be weird if I just pop in out of the blue' or 'omg she probably stopped talking bc I'm just annoying'...unfortunately my brain is doing the same and now we are stuck in that awkward limbo of who will resume interacting first.

I really do enjoy interacting with people, and if I'm having a low social day I'll tell you (I assure you, it's not you, it's my brain being dumb and sucking the energy out of me). If you reach out and I don't respond ASAP, it's usually because I'm at work/eating/something where I am not glued to a monitor/screen.

So here's to all the blogs I know I probably missed

Get attacked!! ✨🌈SEND THIS TO OTHER BLOGGERS YOU THINK ARE WONDERFUL. KEEP THE GAME GOING🌈

I really do love seeing each and every single one of you on my dash for one reason or another!

#random stuff #positivity #💖 U ALL

[gentlebeard]

hi lets show some love for our mutuals. tag your favorite mutuals and tell them why you love them

thank you, dear anon. time to spread lots of love:

@blakbonnet - what would i do without meow? she’s so smart & kind & funny & so fucking talented. writing, painting, making gifs, clowning - there’s nothing she can’t do. we have one and the same brain and often send each other almost identical messages at the same time. she’s my biggest fan and greatest supporter. team beard brought us together and now i never want to be without her!

@sherlockig - my soulmate, my sunshine, my rock. not only is she incredibly sweet and one of my best friends in the world, she’s also the backbone of the ofmd fandom. she graces our screens with fantastically edited screen caps of our beloved blorbos. we’d be lost if alexz didn’t put so much love and energy into picking the perfect frames! i’m so grateful for her presence in the fandom and in my life.

@saltpepperbeard - jodi. my wifey. my one true love. nothing brings me more joy than seeing her gifs or reading her insane tags on posts. they’re better and more entertaining than any newspaper or novel. every time she has an insanely brilliant (or angsty) thought, i wanna propose to her all over again. her writing makes my brain tingle in the best possible way. btw all of you are invited to our next wedding 🥰

@bizarrelittlemew - one day i saw one of ida’s gif sets and was like: hell yeah, i wanna see more of that. i came for the gifs but stayed for her love of rhys darby, her kindness, her writing, her amazing vibe, her creativity, and her lovely self.

@not-nervous-jester - jams is the hottest person on this hellsite. they’re just so effortlessly funny and amazing. their brain has the most wrinkles because they’re so fantastic and intelligent. i invite jams to make out with me regularly because i’m secretly (or not so secretly, i guess) obsessed with them. anyway, i’m smooching you and your brain, jams!

@skysofrey - kaitlin is the sweetest human ever. sunshine in a bottle. kindness personified. seeing her yellow hearts in the tags improves my mood instantly. she deserves to have a perfect day every single day.

@stedebonnets - another 10/10 human being. how anyone can be so sweet and supportive is almost unbelievable to me. ara will make you feel like the most special person on this planet with just a few words and sweet emojis. i bet ara’s hugs feel like coming home after being gone for years.

@dickfuckk - i once called josh the bts king because he’ll know or find anything that is just slightly adjacent to ofmd. his dedication to @ourflagmeansbts is insane to me. on top of that: nice & funny dude, hilarious videos, my dj archive 😌

@rainbowcrowley - after just casually communicating over tags we have finally moved our relationship to the next stage (dms & laughing about shitty memes about politicians, apparently). addi will tell you they make “mediocre gifs” but that’s just a blatant lie. their gifs always look fantastic. a very sweet bean.

@darkinerry - marlena will come out of nowhere and throw spectacular taika gifs into your inbox or just make a straight up insane gif set of that man with clips they probably had to kill someone for. idk how else they do it or where they get them, it’s a mystery to me. excited puppy energy 24/7.

honorable mention goes to olivia aka @snake-snack-stede who is, hands down, the most hilarious person in the ofmd fandom. i’m looking forward to your s2 shenanigans as much as the episodes!!!

if i didn’t mention you, know i still love you. and you’re amazing. 💕

#i have so much more to say about each and every one of you but this is a novel already #asks #❤️

[justbrainrot]

It’s time for my Legendborn characters' sexuality headcanons to be out into the world:

(Disclaimer: yes some of these characters are underage. I know. Folks’ preferences don’t come in the mail with their voter registration though. Don’t come for me about these entirely fictional characters because I’ll just block you and that’s not gratifying for either of us, ‘kay?)

That being said there is a cut this is all gonna live under lol

Bree: Our girl’s motto is, “I’ll try anything once. Or twice! Maybe it’s an acquired taste.” I mean listen, she has almost no experience prior to meeting these dudes, but she does have her big big brain & Alice. So she’s well read iykwim. And has an inherently queer sensibility when she thinks about relationships, despite how things may look from the outside. She really enjoys the negotiation prior to a scene, which makes her a natural at this poly thing. Also, she’s a switch.

Identifies as: Queer

Sel: Baby boy is a service bottom. I mean if this isn’t obvious to you maybe we can’t be friends lol. He enjoys both lightly applied sensation & some pretty heavy pain on occasion. He will definitely top & top well when told to. Sensory deprivation is 100% his jam because it turns his brain off just a li’l bit.

Identifies as: Pansexual (this is canon btw, I didn’t make this part up)

Nick: Oh my darling! Nick is the most vanilla of our trio, but that’s not saying much because, well, have you met the other two lol. He is a natural dom but is also patently disgusted by all the trappings of dominant white cishet dudes in our culture. So he’s also a unicorn, bless ‘im. He is deeply in love with Bree, which is obvious to anyone with eyes, but his feelings for Sel have been clouded by the Kingsmage Oath for so long that when it’s removed, it takes him a minute to work out that he’s in love with Sel also.

Identifies as: Bisexual

Alice: First I need to say that Alice rocks a sick lesbian manicure seven days a week & if that isn’t the hottest way to flag I don’t know what is. She is solidly femme4femme, & knows how to top from below so smoothly you’ll have no idea it’s happening until you are wondering if you forgot to set your face because it’s dripping into your eyes all of a sudden.

Identifies as: Lesbian

William: This dude is a gentleman first & foremost; he ofc redefines making enthusiastic consent sexy as hell. He is uncomfortable having sexytimes when he has Gawain’s strength at noon & midnight, so he has deftly avoided it thusfar. Dating Lark might change that, though, I’m thinking. He’s not dated within the Order before, after all. Pretty vanilla guy, all things considered, but that does not mean boring!

Identifies as: Gay

Mariah: at first I didn't think I had a handle on Mariah, but now I'm thinking she is either ace or just isn't in a place where sexuality is all that important in her life atm and she's fine with it. She's def down to be a soundboard for her friends though, and is wicked smart, so for these reasons she knows the most about what's going on with everyone else but is the soul of discretion.

There will be a part two because this hellsite gets buggier the longer my posts get, apparently.

Edit: part two ✨here✨

#legendborn #the legendborn cycle #bloodmarked #bree matthews #selwyn kane #nicholas davis #alice chen #mariah #headcanon

[microwaved-spoons]

delusional - il dottore

This spawned from the dusty writing desk in the far corner of my brain. Be warned. Inspired by this playlist :  “ pov. escaping dottore's lab; a yandere/obsessive playlist”

Mentions of: Il Dottore (and clones), implied imprisonment, escape, allusion to nonconsensual human experimentation, meat lockers, general uncomfortable vibe, use of pet name ‘doll’, (not intentional but could be perceived) yandere undertones

Additional note(s): Lazy formatting. Gotta get used to uploading on this hellsite again. Also I have no real reason for this title, just thought it was a good pun because see, the Fatui manufacture these fake visions which are called delusions, and the definition of delusion is ‘a state of being misled’, which this protagonist is. See, see it’s funny, right? Right? (: and yes, this was purposefully written in vague first tense, because I thought it fit the flow better. Not beta read this was a youtube comment

-

'...Why were they doing this again?'

Their delicate feet burned as they ran barefoot through the cold labyrinth of Zapolyarny Palace.

'They'd only be caught once more.'

With each twist and turn of the halls, things began to look more and more the same, dizzying to their already swaying mind. Despite this, their steps never faltered, nimbly dashing down a steep flight of stairs. All their mind knew was fear-- fear of being caught, of what they risked returning to, and of what dangers might lurk beyond the familiar ones they currently denounced.

They slunk past heavy doors set ajar before realising; things were unnaturally still around them.

'Where were the soldiers? Was no one coming for them? Was this finally it?'

A deep chuckle echoed through the chamber. Now standing in the very center of the room, they stiffened and glanced frantically around. Upon catching a hint of movement behind a pillar, they took off again, chest slowly growing heavy from the despair trickling in.

That voice. They hated how it had such a hold over them. The particular timber of it was infused in their memory, woven through their shaking bones.

Now nearly at the other end of the room, another mocking laugh came from a pillar just to their right. A raspy, shrill squeak forced itself from their lungs, and on instinct they lunged toward a large vase on display. Through sheer panic alone they managed to shove it towards that same pillar, before quickly darting towards the set of doors. Wrenching them apart, they took only a brief moment to glance back, and their eyes met his. They shrieked again and shoved the doors closed, trapping him in with the bar. The doctor let out a growl, an inhuman sound escalating to an enraged yell. One body pushing against the doors then became two, as another doctor mirrored the actions of the first. Both clones were trapped in that room, but more were sure to appear, so they set their sights on heading to lower and lower floors, certain they were expected to try and find the main entrance.

-

'This is utterly dreadful.'

The kitchens were stale, the scent of fine foods washed out with the dreary atmosphere. With four workers stationed around the area, they ducked behind a cluster of barrels, searching for any sort of opening to freedom. Without windows, it was not an easy feat, but their eyes caught a pale glow emanating beyond the door but a few steps away.

'Surely this was it! They'd finally be saved from this life, freed from this torturous existence. Whatever came next, they'd face with open arms. It was their life to choose.'

They slipped through the door, shutting it delicately behind them. A beat of silence passed, and when no outrage was heard from the kitchen, they let out a breath into the chilled air. This cold was unmistakable, even for someone as isolated as they'd been. The ice against their feet burned, but it was nothing compared to the emotion they felt as they turned to look out into the new environment.

Icy it may have been, but this was no open land.

As they gazed ahead, they found all that they could see were rows of red tinted, hanging slabs of ice. These hooked sculptures had them retching, covering their mouth and pressing their back against the door. The meat locker reeked of death, of misery and of failure. All the hopelessness they'd battled till this moment came crashing down around them as their legs gave out. Boneless, they slumped on the slippery ground, feeling the sheer cold envelop them. As their brain succumbed to the exhaustion, they smiled, knowing that even this was an escape. This ending was of their own creation; they'd taken their life back.

Minutes later, controlled footsteps approached the locker, as a kitchen maid pushed open the heavy wood. Pointed shoes approached the small, slouched figure, gently scooping it up with steady hands.

Il Dottore smiled down at their peaceful face, brushing stray snowflakes from their lashes. "Now then, doll, let us observe the effects of the regenerative serum, shall we?"

-

-

Alright, I haven't written anything of substance for the past several years, so I hope this at least comes across as legible. I started off vaguely reinterpreting the audio cues as I went, writing without any real direction and then it just sort of spiralled from there. The ending sort of reminds me of a fairytale I grew up with: the little match girl. A rather vague reference, but writing in a Snezhnayan setting had me reflecting on my own Russian-Ukrainian heritage and therefore my upbringing(note: uh, yeah, we're doing greattt), so that's my reasoning for the unhinged direction it went.

#[six's storybook].txt #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x gn reader #dottore x gender neutral reader #dottore x reader #dottore #my brain hurts #this was like phys ed but for my brain and fingers #no i don't know why it's like this #first fic #out of retirement #yandere #yandere x reader #not beta read

[writercole]

Update Update Update

Okay sue me, I like that New Orleans view.

Let's talk, besties! Here's what's going on with me.

Feeling a bit of a burnout with writing. Don't misunderstand me - I'm still writing. I'm just chasing different stories right now.

Most of you guys know - I've been really open about this - that I've been struggling to find a job for almost 2 years now. Well, I finally got an opportunity. It starts training on May 1 but I'm pretty...skeptical because I've been screwed over so many times. I should note that there is nothing that suggests that this is a screwover but I'm just pessimistic at this point.

That's going to do one of two things - either I'm going to be writing a lot more or a lot less. I'm hoping it's the former.

I have like 100 stories in development currently and I get more and more ideas every day. Some of these are fanfic, some of them are probably going to be publications. Keep an eye here and at @coleslibrary for any updates or new publishing announcements.

My first three books are all available on Amazon currently and the next one will be there as well. I'm going to go ahead and say that instead of minor rewrites and name changes, this next one, the rewrite of Sounds of Someday, is going to be a whole new story. The basic plot will stay the same but so many details are going to be changed that it's going to read as all new.

Master lists are going to be posting throughout the next month. Mostly actor specific ones that I've been having in my drafts for far too long. They will be updated accordingly.

Most of my upcoming stuff will be collections - stories set in the same universe that don't have to be read together and contain multiple main characters. The first of those is my country club collection - A Drive For Love - starting with Golf Pro Bradley Bradshaw.

Last year I promised a Dad!Jake series. Well, good news on that front. I'm about halfway through writing the series. You'll Be In My Heart should be debuting in the next month or so. It does have to go back through my betas but each chapter will be a different POV and will vary in word count but will contain one scene. The FMC has been changed from a reader to an OC. I'm sure this will affect readership but I don't really care.

I think that's about it on that front. I want to send out a couple of shoutouts to a couple of people before I finish here.

First, @princessmisery666, Stacey, babe, I don't know what I'd do without you. You've become the Opie to my Jax, the level headed guiding light to my chaotic ways. Though you do encourage some of my more angsty ideas and I love you for that. I love you, period. I got this. 💞

To @ryebecca. You're my twinsie and my sounding board. You help my rational brain take over the emotional side more often than not and never make me feel bad for having a different opinion. I love you mostest.

To @imjess-themess and @blue-aconite. You two beautiful souls keep me grounded on days where I'm trying to dissociate all the time. I know you don't realize the things you do to help my mental state lately but just know that the two of you mean the world to me. I love you both.

@fuckyeahhangman. What can I say about your gorgeous face other than I absolutely love it like a cat loves sunshine.

@wildbornsiren My swamp gremlin. The amount of times I've turned to you when I've had a bad day is steadily increasing and I am so grateful for your acceptance of my insanity. I love you!

And last but certainly not least @never--doubt. I know I say it all the time, but I'm so proud of you and so thankful for your friendship. You're like the little sibling I always wanted and I'm so happy that we found one another through this hellsite.

If you're reading this and you're not listed, fret not. I still love you. I just might have forgotten what your new URLs are.

#cole speaks #updates #mushy on main

[smallmightsupremacy]

i've been on the hellsite (affectionate) for almost a decade and i literally never once tried to reblog something privately before, and so i did for the hell of it, just to see?

and it was your 'shoutout to writers who get bkdk relationship' post, and i just saw i must have been the last person to reblog it before you turned off reblogs 😬 so in case it wasn't just coincidence and i committed some faux pas i wasn't aware of, sowwyyyy!

(and uh, if it's not too presumptuous to ask, hello now that i'm here, care to help a boy in need lmao? i'm brand new to this fandom and it's so big i don't know where to start, would you happen to have any recs of fics that do understand the bkdk relationship? 👀👀)

Hello hello!! First of all, welcome to the mha fandom!!! It gets a little crazy here sometimes, but I hope you enjoy your stay here nonetheless! Anyways, I haven't turned off reblogs on that post to my knowledge (to be honest I'm not even sure I know how to 😅) so you're totally good!! My best guess as to what happened is that someone else reblogged my post and turned off reblogs and you saw it there Also, fics!!! Where do I even begin? There are so many amazing fic writers out there that I know. Still, if you're specifically looking for people that understand the bkdk relationship, I'd start off with any of amarisllis' fics. She's fairly popular on ao3 and her portrayal of bkdk is *chefs kiss* Also also!! ladyofsnails makes amazing bkdk fics too!! Highly recommend too!! Now, if you're looking for specific fics instead of just authors, I'm gonna throw some in here below and give a brief summary of them (these are all on ao3 by the way): The Way You Used To Do by edema_ruh (Look. I know it's long, but it's the bkdk fic. Like. It's predicted events that happened in the manga. Anyways, this fic has a whole lotta forced proximity and slow burn.) warm hands by flowercafe (I used to reread this fic over and over again. Basically it's just a 5+1 of Katsuki taking care of Izuku's hands by massaging them.) you dragged me out (of a mile deep hollow) by deadwriter16 (Katsuki looks after Izuku post vigilante arc and gives him the love he deserves. Great hurt/comfort fic.) All We Ever Knew by dynamics (The writing for this fic is stunning. Goes really into depth with Katsuki's psyche and why acts the way he acts.) Halfway to the Moon (But the Sun is So Bright) by Catsired (Middleschool bkdk fic, but Bakugou realizes how much he's fucking Izuku over and tries to fix things.) in your dreams, nerd! by sapphic flower (Katsuki and Izuku can see each other in their dreams. Amazing concept. So well written)

message delivered by dekusneakers (Chat fic that goes really in-depth with Katsuki's feelings when Izuku had his vigilante arc. The way bkdk is portrayed in this is so aaaaaaaa I love it sm) Your Hand In Mine (In Every Universe) by panpanicatmha (Oh my god. This fic changed something in my brain. So alternate versions of Katsuki come and meet Izuku, share their stories and try to find a common link between all of them to be able to get home. The author also writes a bunch of companion fics to this, so I highly recommend reading those too if you're interested!!) Well, this post is already pretty long so I'm going to have to restrain myself from adding more. I hope this was helpful!!! But if you ever do need more fic recs, feel free to ask and I will deliver!! That goes for anyone <3 Take care anon <333

#I just remembered #I have a post somewhere with a bunch of people recommending me bkdk fics so I'll see if I can find that for you #Also also #if you're interested in bakuangst #i know a bunch of great bakuangst fic writers and would be more than willing to help you out with that #...I also have my own fic that I wrote a while back too so I'm just gonna. self promote in the tags. #It's called 'Picking Up The Pieces' and my user's the same on ao3 as it is on here #manga spoiles though so be careful #ask #anon #bkdk fic #bkdk fic rec

[brassknucklespeirs]

I love your writing! May I be bestowed with the knowledge of little facts about your wips while we wait? There's no rush and your readers know that you have a life outside of this hellsite.

oh wow i cant even begin to explain how good this kind of comment makes me feel, thank you so much for your support oh my gosh

And why yes of course you can, let me delve into the random world that is my drafts... (this definitely turned into more than just little facts but...oh well)

Trust Me I Know | Ronald Speirs x fem!reader

This one is kinda definitely one of my favourite drafts I have atm, there's not a lot actually written down for it but a lot of stuff in my head. It's a pining!speirs fic where he has no bloody clue how to deal with his feelings for the reader so he just kinda pretends he doesn't have any but it doesn't work the way he thinks it does. The reader, being too observant of him for her own good (because she too is quite interested in the lad), notices all the little looks he tries not to give her and the way he hovers in a weird places between too close to be just officer and soldier but too far away for it to be considered anything else. One day one of the men notices the way his gaze lingers on the woman and says to her "You know, I think Speirs might have a little thing for you Y/N. He seems to be trying to burn a hole through my skull with the way he's glaring at me." And she just kinda chuckles in amusement and looks Speirs dead in the eye before saying to the one who she's speaking to "Trust me, I know."

Forever | George Luz x fem!reader

This one is the big sad. Like it's going to tear peoples hearts out and it does not have a happy ending at all. It's framed around the song 'Forever' by Lewis Capaldi, especially the lyrics "nobody said that we would last forever, that doesn't mean we didn't try to get there" the first half to three quarters is going to be super sweet fluff and showing different stages of their relationship and then the end is just....it's gonna hurt i'm sorry to say

Big Spoon, Little Spoon | Joe Liebgott x fem!reader

Ahhhhh this one is going to be fun. It's a comedic fluffy fic to lighten the mood since pretty much every other fic i've written somehow involves trauma in detail. This one is definitely going to be a bit more lighthearted like my 'He Definitely Doesn't Hate Me' Speirs fic. Short and sweet likely. It's based on a night out where the reader and Joe's relationship is shown to be very fun and full of teasing. At the end of the night, Joe asks the reader if she's ready to head to bed and she turns to him in front of a table full of the other men and says "Can I be the little spoon for once?". He pretends to brush it off like it's one big joke and says to her "You're lucky I fucking love you, you pain in the ass." So that all the men can hear, before leaning down to whisper in her ear "but yes, just this once"

Glorious Basterds | Ron Speirs

EE this one has been imprinted in my brain since before i even started writing but i just know i have to get it right or it's going to drive me insane. It's a Band of Brothers/Inglorious Basterds crossover that i'm quite excited for. I'm still unsure at this point whether or not i'm making it a reader insert or a OC because as i said in a post the other day, this one is detailed and descriptive of many not nice things such as the main character being a bit nuts and very aggressively murdering nazis and it is going to be very descriptive of gorey subjects (as they do in the movie). Pretty much she's had her entire family killed and is very much in the middle of her revenge era. It takes place around Bastogne and onwards. The current main part of the first part of the fic (which at this point is going to be several parts i think) is the basterds helping with the capture of Foy. After this, there is an interrogation of some Nazi officers that had been running from the basterds as they know they have information they want. The main character is known as Azrael which is the name of the angel of death, and most people don't realise she's a woman until they see her in person. She's got impeccable aim and is known for being pretty creative with the way she kills people. In this one specific part she is the one doing the interrogation of the three officers and she kinda picks them off one by one in different ways while easy company kinda watches in complete awe. The story will follow mostly her but will include a relationship with speirs as it progresses

Hide and Seek | Joe Toye x fem!reader

This one is pretty cute ngl. It's set in the pub in england after they've come back from D-Day. Joe doesn't talk about his wife much to anyone because he likes to keep the idea of her to himself because she is just the most beautiful being on earth to him. It's just another fun little fic where she surprises him in the pub as she joined the new female trooper squad and it's gonna be a lot of fluff and a lot of fun as she gets introduced to all the boys who are super confused at this random stunning woman who's somehow made joe smile nonstop since she's arrived

See You Later | Ron Speirs x fem!reader

This is a mix of sad and fluffy. So the reader and Ron were not necessarily together but very much in love all throughout the war. Once it gets to the end and he says he wants to stay, she fights the feeling of wanting to beg him to come home with her and lets him go. They decide its for the best they don't keep in touch or anything because it would just be too hard. Now this one is gonna be an interesting one for me ngl cause i often write my fic based during the war and not after so it's gonna be a goodie. I've made it where after the war, the reader ends up becoming a famous performer and she gets a surprise birthday party thrown for her and all of the company are there except ron it would seem. But she gets a few very big surprises as the night goes on. One part of this fic includes the reader breaking down to her mother on the floor of their living room and says to her "I lost him mommy, and i don't think i'm ever going to get him back." As you can tell, it's def gonna be a good mix of the big sad but it ends on a good note i promise.

Weirdly, this one came to me while listening to the Moulin Rouge soundtrack, obviously something about Ewan McGregor singing love songs gets the cogs in my brain moving.

It's In The Way You Move | Dick Winters x fem!reader

Idk what's gonna go on in this one quite yet but i know it's going to be sweet. It's like the story of someone who's pretty emotionally unavalible but finds comfort in her friend and fellow officer Dick Winters. Things progress weirdly and they know they both love each other and he's said it several times but she hasn't. It's kinda just a story of how you come to realise that you don't always have to say the words 'i love you' to show that you love someone wholeheartedly.

Sometimes It's Not Enough | Lipton x fem!reader

This fic is going to be one expressing the story of someone who's fallen in love but has little to no level of physical touch as a love language just because they've never really known that kind of love before. It follows reader and Lip through a long relationship that they both have to grow through as it's quite hard for each of them having different ways of showing their love. One day the reader kinda loses it and just crawls into Lip's lap for a cuddle. It's def fluffy, and shows how love doesn't always have to include PDA and excessive touching for it to be deep and real.

I also have more but they are barely developed at all and there's really not much to mention about them quite yet.

#band of brothers x reader #band of brothers imagines #band of brothers fluff #band of brothers fanfic #band of brothers

[ashxketchum]

Hi just curious about these koumi L's you mentioned, all I've seen are W's (pixiv, tri and the ending of 2020 say hi) hate to break it to you but Mimi is practicaly the little sister Matt never had which parallels Koushirou practically being the younger bro Tai never had, prettty sure mimato never even crossed kakudou's mind once during the og, anyway, everyone should continue to ship what they like canon or fanon

HI WORSTIE 😍

Glad you guys are curious about something since reading comprehension runs low on your side of the fandom!!! That Koumi L comment was directed at the shipper making an absolute irrelevant ruckus in the replies of the original post, dragging not just Mimato but every other Mimi ship and some more. It was not directed at the hsip itself. But clearly you failed to understand that, just as all other Koumi shippers fail to understand basic decency and decorum that a fandom needs to maintain in order to follow: "everyone should continue to ship what they like canon or fanon".

Your dear ship's event mod is running around leaving weird comments on other ship week's content, and if you feel like chalking up one incident to benefit of the doubt, then do you wanna talk about this ⬇️

The dates for Mishiro Week (who tf even calls this ship that 🤣) are the exact same dates for Michi Week and then the mod is saying "because we're jealous of other weeks" (- that being a motivation to hold an event and not the fact that you cherish these two characters and their relationship enough to celebrate it is a lil sus in itself🫣 -) clearly implies that they want to one-up another Mimi ship even though Michi Week announced their dates well in advance? You're talking about keeping things peaceful in the fandom, but maybe you should preach that to your own choir first!!!

And it's just your luck that you could've chosen anyone in the Mimato fandom to send your silly rant to but you chose me 🥹🫶🏻 The one person on this hellsite who has done their PhD in Digimon Adventure Tri, certified by Toei Animation themselves lmao 😇

Where do I even begin!!!

Content on a fanwork site Pixiv is considered a Win?? Then all the Mimato/Michi/Jyoumi/Taishiro/Koukari/Koura fanart on all fanworks sites are a Win too? Is that the logic you were going for, awww thank you 🫶🏻

And then let's talk about TRI! The series where Koushiro is checking Mimi out 24x7 like an object, he calls her egotistical/self centered for acting impulsively to save a friend - using the same wording that the mean girls in festival committee use (bully alert 🚨, he doesn't even apologise for doing that btw 🚩), only then shows up to stare at her in a cheerleader uniform, ignores all the concern that she shows for him despite him being rude to her and Meiko both and ends up having way more chemistry with Takeru throughout the series (KouKeru my beloveds 😍).

But it's important to mention the guy who does take a W for Mimi in Tri, JOU KIDO!!! He accepts Mimi for who she is, doesn't criticise her actions, understands that her aggressive love is filled with nothing but pure intentions, uplifts her mood when she needs it the most and showers her words of affirmation that eventually lead to Palmon's mega evolution. And for that he deserves a big squishy hug, which he gets from Mimi 🥰 Honourable mention for taking W's for Mimi in Tri will also go to Meiko, she becomes her ride or die in such a short time of knowing her because she sees Mimi for the kind soul that she is. She also deserves a hug, and she gets it from Mimi too 🥰

In Tri we also see Mimi refer to Taichi and Yamato as handsome (and she does ask Koushiro if he's interested in her cause she's cuter, man for someone with a lot of brains he sure does care only about her looks!🚩) She starts recording TaiYama the minute they get into that Ferris wheel, she and Taichi walk a lot of places together don't they, she and Meiko share a meal with Taichi and Yamato in the Odaiba Onsen must I go on ~ Please do a full rewatch to see how Koushiro proves he's not a good match for Mimi in Tri with his ficklemindedness~

Next up: The Reboot, my other lovechild, I kid you not worstie, me and the Reboot writers share the exact same braincells, like legit, in the entirety of the series run, the most worthwhile Koumi hint they gave was them sitting in a Garage together at the end 🤣 The amount of quality time she spent with Taichi on the other hand, chef's kiss, and the instant bonding with Jou where she could tease him from the minute they met, WOW A BIGGER CHEF'S KISS 😘

THE SIBLING PARALELL -omg where my Taishiro shippers at, will you guys take this slander sitting down? 😭

Listen worstie, Taichi and Yamato do not require sibling parallels because *news flash* THEY HAVE SIBLINGS WITH WHOM THEIR RELATIONSHIPS ARE FLESHED OUT THROUGHOUT THE SERIES LOL. And I also love love LOVE how you didn't hesitate to call Mimi a sibling coded friend for Yamato, especially when 99% of the fandom is telling Mimato shippers that Yamato and Mimi don't interact 🤣 Mimato haters please pick a struggle, are there no Mimato interactions in the series or are there so many interactions that we can safely conclude Mimi is the sister Yamato never had 🥹👉🏻👈🏻 *Takeru has left the chat*

As far as Kakudou's concerned, neither of us are mind readers so why even try and assume which ship crossed his mind and which ship didn't? Did you just add this comment because you thought it'd make you sound all edgy for knowing the staff's name or assuming you understand the thought process that went into making this series? If you did understand the latter, you wouldn't be in my inbox 🫶🏻

So anyway when you're done rewatching the actual series, you can come back to my inbox annnnyyytimeee, maybe even have the courage to be off anon who knows you might learn a thing or two from Taichi 🧡🧡🧡

Stay safe out there, idiocy is very contagious in this fandom 😷

#answered #anonymous #antikoumi #digimon #digimon adventure tri #sorry i'm allergic to dumbness 😔

[kitxkatrp]

🔥 I had a specific topic but I tossed it out. It was fishing for a certain answer, pretty much--

Sometimes, you have to force yourself to write. And here's where I suddenly become the devil on this hellsite and get thirty people in my inbox telling me I'm horrible for this, but--

It's literally something I've learned in writing courses from professional, published authors. Writing is not an easy hobby, especially when you have depression/anxiety/ADHD, etc. Of which I have all 3 tbh, and still somehow manage to get my drafts done because I believe I owe a certain amount of dedication to my hobby and I've learned how to trick my brain into enjoying it even when it wants to stop enjoying anything.

I preach it often, but don't be afraid to use things around you to psychologically reward yourself for a job well done. I pair my drafts with other things like....youtube videos that are relaxing or interesting to me. If I complete 2 drafts, I'm allowed to listen to a true crime for an hour, which gives my brain time to rest and reset and eventually it means you end up looking /forward/ to what you were previously dreading because of the reward that comes after.

It could be something like a piece of chocolate, a ten minute stretching break, a few minutes of television, an anime episode, time to stop for a meal--anything really. Use what you enjoy to your advantage. But the important thing is that you keep writing. The longer you avoid it, the harder it will be to get back into it and feel joy when you finish a piece of writing. It's just not sustainable, so when people say that 'rp isn't a job we don't have to do anything' I almost want to ask them why they're here then, because clearly it's not to write.

#{ Kitten Speaks }

[arwamachine]

For the ask: 6, 12, and 22! Love your work!

Thank you for the aaaaask!!

6. do you have any kind of consistent writing schedule or just hoping for the best?

I'm incredibly fortunate to have weekday evenings free, so I usually get my writing done then. I try to write some words in some project at least once a day

12. do you ever have trouble focusing on writing? how do you get around that? 

I've definitely had some days where my attention span really isn't playing along. I'll sometimes set one of those distraction timers that keeps me off certain website (hellsite included), and even though I've learned that listening to classical music shaves off the edge of the inattention, I rarely use it. I just try to tell myself that some days aren't as productive as others but it all balances out in the end ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I think the trick is to learn what works for you and your brain, but ultimately not to force it. Putting too much pressure on performance is a sure-fire way to get the yips

22. describe your writing process from scratch to finish.

Ohhhh boy...you asked for it. I'm going to put this below the cut, because it is involved 😅

(remember how I said I'm neurotic? Yeaaaahhh...)

1. Splat. I word-vomit an idea into my Notes app, usually in a single disjointed paragraph. Notes to myself, character descriptions, plot-points, and possible lines of prose are all muddled together, sometimes within the same sentence. Some ideas never make it past this stage, some hang out in this stage for months before getting picked up and transformed into a real boy, some get picked up immediately. You never know which it'll be. That's the beauty of the Splat

2. Murder board. I generate something that can be called an outline in the roughest of possible definitions. This has a general plot structure (although not necessarily in order) mixed in with character descriptions, any research I have done on the story (with reference links included...learned that the hard way), various ideas I have, and whole paragraphs of prose that get written out whenever they come to me. Picture the crazed Charlie Day string-and-pictures conspiracy meme, just with words. As soon as this document contains both a beginning and an ending to the story somewhere in its sprawling notes, I start writing.

3. Actual legible outline. Once my murder board exceeds 30 pages and is near impossible to wade through, I create an actual outline. Usually I have written like half of the story at this point. This outline is basically a distilled version of the murder board, with single-sentence bulletpoints of what happens in each scene. Everything is in order and nothing hurts. I rely heavily on both this outline and whatever hasn't been used from the murder board until the first-first draft is written.

4. First-first draft. The point of this draft is to get the general events of the story onto the page. The first-first draft is complete when I have something like a beginning, middle, and end written. I don't allow myself to get bogged down with research, naming characters, finding perfect sentences/words, connective tissue (I call this "A to B"), or any scenes that are throwing me for a loop. If I find myself getting stuck on something, I make myself a note and move on.

5. Second-first draft. Here, I go back through the first-first draft and curse myself for not writing all the parts that I didn't write. I do the research I ignored, write the difficult scenes that threw me for a loop, figure out all my A to Bs, and name the goddamn antagonist. The point of the second-first draft is to get 100% of the words on the page.

6. Set it and forget it. I do not touch the story for a specific length of time, which is determined by the length of the work. Shorter pieces have a set-and-forget of about two weeks. Longer works are set-and-forget for a month or more.

7. Come to Jesus. After the predetermined length of time, I pick the story back up and re-read it. Is it actually good? Does it make sense like I think it does? Did I use the word "whole" 17 times in one paragraph? And--more to the point--is it suitable for other people's eyeballs?

8. Other eyeballs. If this is fic, here is where I'll send to beta if I'm using one (I tend to only get longer fics beta'd). If this is professional writing, I send it out to folks in my life whose opinion I trust. I receive feedback and make additional edits accordingly.

9. Tinkering. I do another full review before step 10, usually with the help of a text-to-speech app so I can hear how it sounds (this also helps identify some typos). If this is a fic (single chapter), I do one final read-through before posting. If it is a multi-chapter fic, I do a read-through of each chapter the week before it posts.

10. Fly, my pretties! It this is a fic, it gets posted. If it is professional writing, it goes Out. Either way, may god have mercy on its soul.

11. Immediately discover a typo.

#arwa answers asks #arwa's writing process is a Whole Thing #but it works goddamnit #neuroses get resultsies