Tumgik
#I hate it here I hate it here I hate it here
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DDVAU by @kitsuneisi and @xmaruu11 got me feeling a certain type of way <3
Alt + closeups under the cut :D
If you reblog i kiss you passionately on the mouth /platonic
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the violence of the dog days.
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pairing: jeongguk x reader
summary: In the midst of summertime, after a week of neglect, your boyfriend has a way of making you feel even more heated.
OR
you're hot and horny for jeongguk.
rating: mature🔞 (minors please dni)
genre: non-idol au, college au, established relationship, smut, fluff, pwp
word count: 9.2k words of unadulterated smut.
warnings: reader and jeongguk are absolute horny simps for each other, but they're also so inlove, soft boyfriend jeongguk (because yes that is a warning), jeongguk is a law student (oof), overuse of the petname 'baby', reader hasn't been getting it seven days a week😔, switch jeongguk (kinda), hair pulling, hickeys, making out, thigh riding, nipple play (jeongguk is proudly a boob guy), religious imagery because jeongguk worships reader like a god, usage of the words 'c*nt' and 'p*ssy' (because i know some people are iffy about that), cunnilingus (f-receiving), jeongguk is low-key a sadist y'all (in his fantasies), a bit of dom/sub dynamics, prayers for reader because jeongguk's got that big d🙏🏽, unprotected sex, doggy style, degradation, a teeny weeny bit of overstimulation, creampie - like this is just pure smut guys 😬, possessive sex, choking, aftercare, reader kinda hints at having attachment issues (but don't we all).
author's note: 1. please ignore any typos :). of course, i'd appreciate any feedback or constructive criticism. but if you find yourself uncomfortable by any of the themes in this fic, there's no need for hate, just kindly move on. 2. also, this is a lot longer and softer than i intended. this fic was supposed to be purely hard smut, but i fell in love with the characters and their relationship, and some aspects of the story just turned out sickeningly sweet - so proceed with caution.
You're an hour into tossing and turning when you can't take it anymore.
The heat.
With June coming to a close end, the surviving remnants of summer creep in through your bedroom window with barely a whisper of a breeze. It clings to every part of your skin, that ever-lingering humidity thickening the air, and wraps itself around your body like a cloak. For some reason, you thought that scrolling aimlessly through the various apps on your phone would help distract your mind from the muggy weather or maybe, by some miracle, even lull you to sleep.
But it hasn’t—of course it hasn't. Because summer is here to stay, burrowing deep within your bones and making a home there. Each passing minute is a testament to that, insomnia creeping up your spine with ill intent and wriggling into every cranny of your mind until you feel like you're losing it.
Perhaps you are, you think.
Because when the desk fan a few feet away suddenly stops whirring and the fumbling grasp you had on sleep slips from your reach like a fleeting dream in the morning light as a result of it—drifting further and further away—you hit your breaking point. The lack of white noise and cool air blowing your way mounts your frustration into place. It hangs there in the ether like a looming shadow but, unlike your slumber, has no plans of deserting you.
With an annoyed huff, you drop your phone back onto the nightstand for the umpteenth time and kick your leg out from under the duvet.
“Fuck.” You sigh, rolling onto your back.
A thin sheen of sweat lingers on the surface of your skin, causing the sheets to stick uncomfortably to every part of your body. You spread your limbs out like a starfish in some futile attempt to cool them down, hoping that you'll catch a draft, but the action only reminds you of how largely cavernous your bed feels right now.
The space beside you is missing a particular doe-eyed boy and, as your hand brushes over the empty spot, you realize that it's not so much the seasonal heat that's making you feel weirdly restless, but rather Jeongguk's absence. In an inconveniently clingy way, you need his body settled next to you at night, your legs and arms a tangled mess beneath the blankets.
You don't know why that is. Why sleep eludes you like a compass without direction, unable to find its way to you when Jeongguk isn't near. But you don't mull over it or give the thought a foothold to stand amongst the endless anxieties already in your head.
All you know is that cuddling up with him in the evening is perhaps one of your favourite pastimes. Akin to a baby with it's bottle, falling asleep in his embrace is something you've grown incredibly used to, maybe even a little dependent on—like a security blanket or night-light—and there's nothing you can do about it.
Sneaking a glance towards the dim light spilling in from beneath the bedroom door, you picture Jeongguk on the other side. Chances are, he’s still where you last left him. Sitting cross-legged on the couch with a laptop balancing carefully on his lap, eyebrows scrunched together in concentration, as he catches up on coursework.
You worry your lip, the thought of your boyfriend causing your mind to wander...
He looked so good tonight; adorned in a pair of grey sweats and a baggy t-shirt with his tattoos fully exposed. His dark hair was strewn across his forehead, falling into his eyes in a way that made your fingers itch.
You, on the other hand, are sporting an old, oversized shirt you opted to steal from Jeongguk's wardrobe to combat the high temperatures, but it hasn't helped much. The heat still loiters, creeping up the back of your neck and imbuing your cheeks with warmth.
It makes you long for winter, for the bitter nip of frosty ice and pelting rain, and the desire for that inadvertently reminds you of that fucking silver lip ring Jeongguk had gotten recently.
The memory of its cold, metal sting against your lips as he kissed you goodnight sends a distant, carnal hum coursing throughout your veins. It's probably tugged anxiously between his teeth right now whilst he types away, eyes deadset on the screen before him, and the image of that sends you reeling. Makes your skin flush further, yearning to feel its steel bite again.
For some reason, it propels you into motion, skin prickling as you throw your legs over the edge of the mattress without a second thought.
The last thing you want to do is bother his progress or interrupt his work, but selfishly, you persist. That gnawing feeling deep within your chest is too hard to ignore, heart beating voraciously with each step you take because it longs to be satiated by Jeongguk's presence. Your boyfriend is only one room over, just four thin walls separating the two of you, yet still—you miss him, want him.
Treading lightly, you hear the persistent click-clack of his keyboard and the muffled sound of typing only grows louder as you step out into the hallway. The wooden flooring is frigid beneath your feet, a sensation you immediately relish in as soon as the fiery crawl of discomfort across your skin begins to lessen. Your shirt—or more precisely, Jeongguk’s shirt—falls flat from your waist, landing a few inches above your knees, as you wander further into the apartment.
Just as you’d predicted, Jeongguk is all pretzelled up on the sofa, too focused on his work to hear you enter. A few empty bottles of soju and convenience store snacks litter the coffee table, serving as silent witnesses to the length of time he's been out here. He must have dimmed the lights as well because a faint, warm glow shrouds every facet of the room, making him look particularly soft at this hour.
You walk up behind him, wrapping your arms around the length of his shoulders as you bend over the couch's headrest to envelop him in a hug. ”Hey,” You hum softly, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
Jeongguk startles slightly at the contact, shaken from his deep concentration as he angles his head to look up at you. “Shit, baby. You scared me.” He breathes, voice rough from disuse. It rumbles through you like a distant thunderstorm, body vibrating with electricity.
“Sorry,” You murmur, glancing at the assignment he's been working on and tiny pangs of guilt gradually trickle into your stomach. “I didn't mean to disturb you, but-”
“You're not disturbing me.” Jeongguk instantly reassures, scanning your face with a knowing look. “Can’t sleep?” He asks and you nod, burying your face into the crook of his neck. The scent of his body wash immediately encompasses you like a warm embrace, wild pinewood and bergamot invading your senses.
“I thought you’d be in bed by now.” You mumble against his skin, unable to hide the pout in your voice.
Jeongguk frowns, eyes flickering to the time at the bottom of his laptop screen.
Shit, he hadn’t even noticed how late it’s gotten, the hours skulking along the cusp of a new day. He should probably be turning in for the night, head to bed and worry about this project tomorrow, but he’d rather not postpone his responsibilities. Not when you’re staying over the weekend and he could be spending that time with you instead.
“I know.” Jeongguk responds, hand coming up to intertwine with yours. “I’ll be there soon, okay?” He promises, bringing your knuckles to his lips. The featherlight kiss he presses there soothes you like a curative balm.
“Okay,” You relent, untangling yourself from his body. “But, can I stay here for a bit? It’s too hot in there.” You half lie, gesturing towards the bedroom while simultaneously walking over to the kitchen only a few feet away.
“Yeah, of course.” He murmurs, eyes following your movements.
“Thanks, Kook.” You smile, sparing him a glance over your shoulder as your eyes sparkle with mirth. “By the way, your fan broke down again.”
“Again?” He laments, eyebrows furrowed together whilst he runs a disgruntled hand through his hair. “I seriously need to get that old thing repaired or maybe even replaced.” He grumbles to himself, before a guilty afterthought occurs at the sight of you. “Fuck, I'm so sorry, baby. No wonder you couldn't sleep.”
You don't tell him that it's not so much the heat keeping you awake but, more so, him.
“No, don't worry about it.” You settle on instead, trying to dispel his concerns. “It's not your fault.”
This isn't the first time that Jeongguk’s fan has given him problems. He's had the thing since high school; so it’s no surprise that the motor tends to give in every now and then, running a little too hot. He’s been meaning to get the issue sorted, but hasn’t really found the time to do that these days.
“Plus, I'd much rather be out here with you.” You add.
Jeongguk smiles at you so sweetly then, dimples making an appearance, and your body flushes all over, burning once again.
God, what is wrong with you tonight?
You need to calm down, cool down. At this rate, you feel like an overheating engine, bound to crash in on yourself and combust.
Grabbing a glass of ice water from the fridge dispenser, you rein yourself in, distracting your mind with conversation. “I promise not to be a bother though, like you won't even notice I'm here.” You say, before chugging the cold liquid down on the spot, completely ignorant to the way that Jeongguk drinks you in.
A welcome sight is what you are, so cute tonight with your hair all mussed, practically drowning in his shirt. “You’re never a bother.” He responds, mouth going dry when you lean back to empty the glass. The action causes your shirt to hike up, the creamy expanse of your thighs further exposed to his hungry eyes.
He feels his dick stir at the sight.
“How much longer do you think you’ll be?” You ask, wiping your lips with the back of your palm, as you place your cup in the sink and shuffle over towards your boyfriend.
“Uhh…” Jeongguk clears his throat, broken out of his stupor. He turns back to face his laptop, skimming the Word document that's open before him when he feels you nestle into his side a second later. Automatically, he brings a hand down to rest against your leg.
“I’m not sure,” He grumbles, thumb rubbing soothing circles against your bare thigh. The absent-minded touch ignites something in you, skin blazing at the contact, and you try your best to suppress the goosebumps that rise in Jeongguk’s wake. “Maybe another hour or so?” He guesses.
“Oh.” You mumble and, although you fight the disappointed curl of your lips, Jeongguk doesn’t miss the deflated look on your face.
“I’m sorry,” He squeezes your thigh apologetically, frown overtaking his pretty features. “I know it’s been a while since we spent time together.”
A week exactly, you note, but ultimately keep that detail to yourself. After all, neither one of you is to blame for being so busy, constantly caught between work and university.
You think that's maybe the reason you're feeling so needy tonight, body set ablaze by every minor look and touch from your boyfriend. In a way, you're feeling a little neglected since your relationship’s taken the backseat, not by choice but by consequence, and you don’t know how to deal with it.
“It's fine.” You shrug. "It's not like we can help it.”
You try to be nonchalant about the matter, injecting the slightest hint of indifference into your tone, but Jeongguk sees right through you.
He always does.
“Come here.” He says suddenly, voice soft as he shifts his laptop onto the coffee table.
You look up at him, confusion clear on your face.
“What?” You blink, but your question falls on deaf ears because Jeongguk merely uncrosses his legs and pats his lap.
“Come here,” He then repeats and reaches for your waist.
You're uncertain for the briefest of moments, eyeing Jeongguk suspiciously, before you ultimately give in like malleable clay in his soft hands, allowing him to pull you onto his lap with ease. “I've been working for hours.” He grumps once you're comfortably straddling his waist, hands resting on either side of your hips. “Hardly seen you since you got here.”
You hum, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth in thought. It's no secret that you've been spending a lot more time at Jeongguk's place in lieu of your ratty little dorm room. You felt bad about it at first, feeling as though you were invading his space and overstaying your welcome. But your boyfriend couldn't be happier about it. He rather likes the idea of your lives interlocking, melding together as if they were puzzle pieces falling into place. He likes that when he's working, like on nights like this, that you're just on the opposite side of the door, not one phone call or car ride away.
He likes that you're his and he is, equally as much, yours.
“I wanted to leave you to your work.” You explain, curling your arms around his neck. Your fingers absentmindedly play with the ends of his hair that have grown out and the light touch only brings about the memory of how much he has missed you these past few days.
“Well, it's about time I take a break, don't you think?” Jeongguk muses and you become hyper-aware of the way his fingers brush up your spine. “Give my girl some attention…” He trails on, eyes flickering to your lips.
You practically preen at the idea, smiling shyly as you lean into his touch. “I wouldn't object to that.” Your heart patters in your chest, beating wildly at the mere sight of Jeongguk. At the thought of him finally touching you, kissing you, quenching your thirst after this week-long drought. “I've missed you.”
Jeongguk chuckles faintly. “Me too, baby.” He murmurs, perching his head upwards to press his lips against yours.
The kiss is gentle, chaste, his plush lips feeling so featherlight against yours. You almost imagine they were never there to begin with because Jeongguk pulls away before you can truly savour the taste of them.
“You know, you look so pretty in my clothes.” He begins, large hand spreading lazily around your left hip and up your back. “Kinda makes me want to wreck you.”
“You already wreck me.” You breathe without missing a beat.
“Yeah?” Jeongguk rasps, his voice low and a little dark. It sends a thrill straight up your spine.
You nod in response, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks. “No one makes me feel the way you do.” You admit, eyes flitting across his face. It's an unwavering truth—one that simultaneously scares and excites you in this quiet dead of night.
“Can I kiss you again?” The words come out as a breathy whisper; as if you've been holding on to them for too long, as if they're the oxygen you so desperately need to breathe, and Jeongguk tilts his head, bewildered frown on his face.
“How is that even a question.” He gripes, slanting his head in a means to meet your mouth halfway, but you have another idea.
You press into him instead, leaning forward, and set out to peck lovingly along the curvature of Jeongguk’s jawline. He huffs in amusement, endeared by the way you take control. Because, although he’s usually the dominant one in the bedroom, he doesn't mind when you take charge like this. In fact, he's grown to love it. Loves the way you come into your own, toying and teasing with him, until your own actions cause you to grow desperate.
It's one of his greater weaknesses, his Achilles heel, and right now, you want nothing more than to expose it. Unveil a certain side of him. The one that'll see how far you can push before he starts to push back. The one that'll give in and take you right here on this couch after he's entertained your antics for long enough and you finally beg him to fuck you.
Your body practically hums at the thought.
You map out his skin, lips brushing against the surface like you're exploring a new land. Every movement careful, every touch claiming what's yours. And it almost goes to your head—how quickly Jeongguk submits to your mouth’s assault, his body relaxing into the couch like he's letting you have your way with him.
Jeongguk doesn't tell you that he is. That your lips are a holy grail he'd happily yield to.
When your teeth graze lightly at a particular soft spot below his ear, he lets out a small groan, eyes falling closed at the sensation. You feel the sound roll through you, the ache between your legs becoming hard to ignore when you think about the fact that you've roused that melody from his mouth.
It spurs you on, makes you want to hear it again and again. You want to paint the entire column of his neck red and then watch your confession of love fade to a bruised purple in the weeks to come. You want to rediscover all the ways that you can make Jeongguk sing, and the way your body dances to his tune in turn. Your lips lap him up, kisses becoming indelicate with desperation, teeth nipping with intent along his upper jaw, tongue tracing over the skin before you repeat all these gestures twicefold.
You can feel yourself growing wet, relish in the way that Jeongguk's hands tighten around your form. “Shit,” He mumbles and your body crows. Without pause, you shift against his lap and move to the neglected side of his neck, targeting the skin there. You can feel him getting hard beneath you, your core situated right above his growing erection, and it causes a shiver to run down your spine.
You plant a few messy kisses against his throat, nibbling vehemently, but then Jeongguk tuts and pries his eyes open before you have the opportunity to really sink your teeth into him.
“Baby,” He warns, curling a hand into your hair to form a makeshift ponytail. “No marks. I've got a presentation on Monday.” He says and pulls you back by an inch. His movements are somewhat hesitant, voice rough, like he's not entirely sure he truly wants you to stop.
But he has to. He can't afford to show up to class on Monday and present the most important project of his life with hickeys all over his neck.
“Next time.” He promises, but you consider outright ignoring him for a second, even though it's nonsensical, like some twisted form of punishment for a week of neglect.
But it’s Jeongguk—Jeongguk who’s been extra stressed lately about completing his degree. Jeongguk who’s carving time out of working on his big assignment right now—one which, not only counts forty percent of his grade, but could also earn him an internship at one of the top law firms in Seoul if he's lucky enough—all to pay special attention to you.
So, “Fine.” You give in, albeit a little petulantly, and brace your hands against his chest, face feeling flushed. “I’m sorry. I just wanna be close to you is all.”
“I know. Me too.” He rasps, grip on your hair loosening a touch, but not completely. “We don't have to stop though, just don't mark me up.” He explains, free hand rubbing up and down your thigh.
“Okay,” You slide your palms up his chest, feeling the toned muscles tense beneath your touch. “I really love you, you know?”
Jeongguk's eyes soften, a hint of a smile creeping up on his face. “I know,” He hums, tugging at your hair in a way that makes your scalp tingle. “But I don't think it comes close to how much I love you.” He rasps, using his grip as leverage to pull your head backwards until the delicate skin of your throat is exposed. “It's incomparable.” He murmurs, placing a single kiss on the side of your mouth before he travels south, lips peppering across your jawline.
You shiver, hands twisting into the thick material of Jeongguk's t-shirt. You want to tell him that it's not a competition, that you'd love him until the sun stops rising and, even if this one week of distance had been more, you know that he feels the same.
But the heavy palpitations in your chest causes the words to dissolve on your tongue because Jeongguk pulls the collar of your shirt to the side a second later, exposing more of your skin, before he traces a path along your décolletage. He's touching you like a starved man, mouth just as desperate and feverish as you’re starting to feel.
A stuttered gasp escapes your lips, your hands moving upwards, unsure of where to be, when he nips at a particularly sensitive spot. You settle them on his shoulders.
“Jeongguk,” You moan, the tingling between your legs maturing into an unbearable ache.
“I know, baby.” He abruptly pulls away from your clavicle—lips red, eyes blown. “Tell me what you want.”
His demand goes over your head because you don't know what you want; can barely think straight with the lingering feeling of Jeongguk's lips on your neck. With the growing wetness sticking uncomfortably to your panties. With the burning, hot embers laying at the base of your stomach, begging to be set ablaze. And Jeongguk knows that. Knows that you're neither here nor there, only somewhere in the middle, teetering on the line of endless choices. So he lets go of your hair then, manoeuvres your body until you're straddling only his left thigh.
“Don't think about it, baby.” He murmurs, both hands moving to your hips. He guides them back and forth, slow and gentle, with just enough pressure to relieve that desperate throbbing in your pussy. “Just feel.”
And you do, sinking into your own little bubble, a paradise as impenetrable as the gates of heaven. You take your time to grind up against him, moving in tandem with the flow of his hands and a soft whimper climbs up your throat at the sensation of your clit brushing against the firm muscles of Jeongguk’s thigh. You're already so soaked, underwear absolutely sodden from the relentless pendular motions of your pelvis, and when you look down to find a dark, damp spot beginning to stain Jeongguk's sweatpants, you can't help but intensify your movements.
It should be embarrassing, how quickly you've become turned on, how much you're dripping, when Jeongguk's barely touched you, but instead you just feel liberated. Pure power coursing through your veins because your boyfriend has given you the reins, is letting you use his body like a bitch in heat, and it's exhilarating; intoxicating every facet of your mind.
“That's it,” Jeongguk purrs, deserting your hips once you gain momentum to instead sneak both hands up the hem of your shirt.
Your breath escapes its chambers when he trails past the soft curve of your waist and straight to your breasts. “Fuck, you're so beautiful.” He grunts, gaze intent on your every reaction, like he's watching artwork unfold. His nimble fingers circle your nipples, tracing them with the most tantalizing pattern, until they begin to harden.
“Please,” You choke, clasping his shirt in between your fists like it's some sort of lifeline. You're not even sure what you're begging for, pace quickening as you ride Jeongguk’s thigh more aggressively. Every rut forward sends sparks shooting throughout your body, nerve endings alight, and when Jeongguk pinches your nipples between his thumb and forefinger, your back arches in pleasure. A throaty moan penetrates the room otherwise filled with nothing but your uneven pants and the sound of Jeongguk's voice.
“Gonna make you feel so good,” He groans, hands inching towards your shirt’s lower seam. He drags it over your torso, itching for better access to your breasts. Even in your muddled state, you meet him halfway, raising your arms above your head until the damned thing is off and you're left in nothing but your lacy underwear.
You hardly have time to adjust to the humid air hitting your torso, when Jeongguk tips his head forward, enveloping your right nipple into his mouth with reckless abandon. The response is instantaneous, a strangled sob slipping past your lips at the feeling of his warm mouth encased around your stiffened peak. His tongue swipes across your nipple, shockwaves manifesting at the blissful contact, and you don't know how much longer you're going to last—an embarrassing feat you don’t ponder on too much.
Instead, you squeeze your eyes shut, focusing on the attention Jeongguk pays you. Whimpering when the pads of his fingers move to fondle the nipple of your forsaken breast while the other submits to his mouth’s pleasurable torment, each purposeful pinch causing them to tighten all the more. Your skin feels like it's on fire, the warmth of Jeongguk's touch igniting the cinders glowing from deep within your belly. “I-I think,” You swallow, your pussy rubbing deliciously into Jeongguk's leg. “I think I'm going to come soon,” You manage to admit through a repressed whine, voice so strained it sounds foreign even to your own ears.
You don't think you've ever hit an orgasm this quickly. You've never had to. Because you and Jeongguk are like inseparable magnets; every atom in your bodies drawn to each other, always connecting like two poles seeking the other out—never going more than a few days without some form of intimacy. Never mind a week.
At least, not until now.
So when Jeongguk bounces his leg upwards to meet the force of your pussy coming down on his quadricep, adding to the way you slam into him, your clit positively throbbing at the impact, you feel the onset of that familiar coil in your stomach tightening.
“Just let go, baby.” Jeongguk rasps, granting you permission with one final flick of your nipples and then you're coming undone, white fiery heat flooding every fiber of your body, as you cry out his name. Only his name, forever on your lips. You feel the way your entire form convulses, the way Jeongguk helps you through it, flexing his thigh so that you can get the most out of your orgasm, and your hips buck forward—unrelenting and greedy—before they finally ease into a slow rut. Grinding into him until the receding, minuscule waves of pleasure begin to fade.
With the last few clenches of your pulsating core, you slowly catch your breath, muscles slackening as you become pliant in Jeongguk's arms, the weight of your body suddenly too much for you to bear. Your boyfriend holds you tight though, both hands moving to your waist to keep you secure.
Behind the darkness of your closed eyelids; you hear Jeongguk softly murmur your name and feel the way his hand comes up to your face, tucking a few stray strands of hair behind your ear before he cups your cheeks. “You okay, angel?” He asks, voice emerging as a hushed tone.
When you manage to tear your eyes open and give him a soft, affirmative nod, Jeongguk seems satisfied, pressing a delicate kiss to your sternum before he shifts you from his lap and onto your back in one fell, but gentle swoop.
Your head hits the soft leather of the sofa with the aftermath of your climax still lingering against your skin like crackling electricity, fuzzing up your mind. “You think you can take more?” He asks, eyes flitting across your face to get a read on your current state of mind.
You nod your head assuredly, reaching out to make a grab for his body, to bring him closer. “Yeah I can,” You say confidently, arm's snaking up his back to explore the taut muscles that reside there.
Jeongguk is hovering over your body, thigh pressed hotly between your legs, and even though you can feel the rush of arousal, brought on only a second ago, pooling uncomfortably in your underwear—you want more. You want him. “I want to carry on.”
Jeongguk studies your demeanour, casting your body and expression a careful once-over, because he wants to feel you, be in you, wants to make you see stars. But it's only a matter of whether you're able to handle that right now. He has barely had his way with you, but you already look so fucked out, so perfect for him. It makes the blood rush straight to his dick. “You make me crazy.” He rasps, eyes locking with yours as he brings a hand up, tracing his thumb along your bottom lip.
You almost cower beneath his touch, beneath the sincerity of his gaze; appraising the very depths of your being as if you were a delicate treasure, as if he were staring at a god or something of a divine beauty.
Jeongguk thinks that maybe he is; thinks you’re the light, the one thing he’d worship morning, noon and night through blind faith. And there are barely enough words in the dictionary for him to express this notion to you, so instead he settles for “I love you.” Voice as rough as the high tides, but softer than moonlight.
He feels compelled to tell you this every chance he gets, a hopeless slave to his feelings for you. “Like I've never loved anything else in my life.” He continues. It's a quiet confession in the night, not a new one, but the words mean just as much as the first time he admitted them to you.
You feel yourself melt, can't remember ever feeling this cherished. Not since before Jeongguk and hopefully, never after. “I love you too.” You murmur, taking a moment to drink in every detail of the man who has left you restless all night.
Your eyes flicker over the defined cut of his jaw. The delicate curve of his lips and the pretty mole resting just beneath it. The small kissable scar on his cheek. The feathery flutter of his eyelashes. The strands of hair that have fallen over his face, and you retract your hand from his back to push them away.
How did you ever get this lucky?
“So much.” You emphasize and your voice thickens with the weight of your words, spoken from the very depths of your soul. “More than you could ever know.” Because there aren't enough words in the dictionary to get this notion across, so instead you lift your head, planting a firm kiss to Jeongguk’s lips as if sealing a vow, a promise of forever.
Jeongguk receives your kiss like he does with everything else related to you; openly, hungrily. His tongue swipes across your bottom lip—once—twice—and you instantly become pliant under his weight. Your fingers find his hair, tangling into the dark tresses as you deepen the kiss. It’s hot and it’s heavy, and in the distant part of your mind, you register that Jeongguk tastes like peaches, most likely from the alcohol he’s been drinking.
The sweetness of his lips immediately goes to your head; drunk and euphoric, and all grace flies out the window the next second. “Touch me,” You murmur breathlessly against his mouth, fingertips skimming over the nape of his neck. “Please, I need you.”
Jeongguk groans, a husky sound resonating from deep within his throat. “Fuck,” You can feel how rock hard he’s gotten, his erection pressing into your inner thigh and it's making you delirious with need. “I’ll give you anything you want.” Jeongguk rumbles, his mouth forming a wet, messy trek away from yours to embrace the flesh of your breasts.
You want to tell him that it's him, only him you want. Puppeteering your every move, body relinquishing itself to his touch. But you don't. You can't, not when Jeongguk's teeth leave scarlet marks across your chest that render you mute, words evaporating on your tongue like sacramental bread.
“My pretty baby,” He coos tenderly and you fight the urge to rut up against him. “Always so fucking ready for me.“ He praises, kisses traveling southward and it burns, searing, everywhere that Jeongguk touches you. You think you might erupt or shatter, and nothing less, if he doesn't meet you where you really need him to, your cunt begging to be satiated with his fingers, or his tongue, or his dick—anything.
A whimper escapes your lips, an embarrassing, desperate sound hanging in the thick air, as you glance down past your heaving breasts. You watch as Jeongguk abandons your boobs, planting a trail of kisses across the expanse of your stomach, your hip bones—takes the tiny little ribbon on your underwear between his teeth and tugs. The deliberate gesture causes your panty to rise up a bit, ever so slightly brushing against your clit in the process, and you bite down on your bottom lip, holding back an ungodly moan.
You can't take it anymore, all this teasing.
Jeongguk can read it on your face; sees it in the way you swiftly tilt your head back, eyes closed, brows scrunched together. He knows you like the back of his hand, which is how he gauges that you've fallen back into a place of submission—done with the tortuous foreplay, done with calling the shots, done with delaying the inevitable. You want him to fuck you, to use your body the same way you had used his mere minutes ago. And if his dick could get any harder at the thought, it would.
Jeongguk licks his lips, slips a finger into the curve of your waistband as he murmurs, “I’m gonna take this off now, okay?”
You nod your head, not daring to open your eyes to confront the image of Jeongguk's face a mere hair's breadth away from your cunt. It's too erotic. Too much. You feel him drag the thin garment down your legs, a string of arousal following suit, and suddenly feel self-conscious, attempting to close your legs to hide how shamefully wet you are.
But Jeongguk's not having any of that.
He carelessly chucks the lacy material to the side like it’s nothing but a rag, a nuisance, and then grips your inner thigh. “Don't you dare,” He grunts, using his grasp to keep your legs apart, lifting them upwards until your knees are bent to your chest and your ankles are resting over his shoulders, giving him the perfect view of your dripping cunt.
You barely have time to register the ticklish feeling of Jeongguk's breath fanning against your core before he dives straight in, licking a long stripe across your pussy, and your hips instinctively buck up. “Shit,” You mewl, rejoicing in the way his tongue traverses from your slit to your clit, lapping up every drop of arousal.
Jeongguk groans, a sound so low, stemming from the heart of his diaphragm, when he samples that first morsel of your leaking nectar. You taste like heaven, so sweet and unbearably wet, and all just for him.
“So fucking good,” He grumbles, mouth drinking you in. His tongue is unrelenting in its efforts to devour your pussy, and the overwhelming sensation of him slurping and sucking—of him eating you out like a connoisseur tasting the rarest of delicacies—causes frenzied pools of pleasure to ripple within the base of your belly.
He keeps at it, nose brushing against your clit as a byproduct, and after a few minutes the pure, unwavering rapture of Jeongguk's tongue becomes excruciating. A feeling so good, it’s almost too much. “Jeongguk,” You wail, heels digging into the couch as you try to back away from his mouth, but your boyfriend merely hooks his arms around your legs and pulls you closer. Holding you in place; unable to run or escape from the ruthless onslaught of his tongue, from the metal bite of his piercing brushing against your lower lips. “I can't,” You cry, writhing beneath his touch.
With his grip keeping you firmly anchored, Jeongguk brings one hand down to toy with your swollen clit, fingers moving in languid, clockwise motions. “You can,” He grunts thickly, tongue slipping between your folds and prodding deliciously at your hole. “I know you can, baby.” He mumbles in between fucking your drenched pussy with his fleshy muscle.
You shake your head frantically, eyes screwed shut, as you feel the waves of your second orgasm surfacing. “Not like this,” You beg, using your hands to reach down, fingers twisting into his fluffy hair as you desperately try to push him away. “Please, I want you in me.” A sob runs free, your walls pulsating around nothing because Jeongguk is taking his time with you, teasing your opening like he's got all night. But you don't. You're close, so fucking close, you can feel it in the tightening muscles of your pelvis, in the quivering of your legs.
But Jeongguk isn't giving you enough. He isn't giving you what you need. Your boyfriend, in all his hot glory, is taking you there with his tongue, swirling insufferably along your orifice—bringing you right up to the edge of the plank with an ocean of pleasure waiting just below your feet, but then he pulls you back. Drags you from the precipice before you can allow yourself to fall in, and it causes a frustrated whine to escape your lips. You need his cock deep inside, filling you up, pushing you off the ledge and into troubled waters. Your pussy throbs at the very thought. “Please Kook,” You find yourself beseeching for the second time. “I wanna cum with you in me.”
And any thread of composure Jeongguk has been holding on to up until that point, snaps at the pure neediness burrowed within your tone.
He looks up at you; lips glistening, eyes dilated—a mess of a man. But you don't look any better—or, if you were getting a glimpse of yourself through Jeongguk's point of view, never better—skin flushed, gleaming with a fine film of sweat, lips swollen from the way you've been biting them, and all at once, Jeongguk is overcome with the desire to give you everything you've ever wanted.
“Fuck, okay,” He curses, rising to his knees and you force your eyes open at the rough edge tainting his voice, at the overwhelming relief of getting what you wished for. “But it’s going to be a bit of a stretch, baby.” He says, not having prepped you fully. It's been a while since the two of you have had sex and, if he had it his way, he would have given you his fingers first, would have warmed and widened your lubricated walls, to ease the initial discomfort of him entering you.
But you look so pretty beneath him, so impatient, and—“I can handle it,” You mollify, voice a sweet concoction of sultry persuasion.
He nods in response, a curt motion, because if he thinks about how eager you're being, about how you're willing to take a little bit of the pain for the insurmountable pleasure, he might just come right there. Might just think of all the other ways you like to hurt; of the way you'd react if his palm made rough contact with your ass cheeks, or what would happen if he handcuffed you to his bedpost and stuffed you full with a vibrator and butt plug—if he fucked you tonight with no end in sight. He wonders if you'd cry, if you'd beg him for more or want him to stop, sopping and spent. More than that, he wants so badly to find out.
Jeongguk’s dark eyes find yours, their typical doe-eyed demeanour having turned hooded a long time ago. Yours are twinkling with anticipation, watching intently as he pulls his sweatpants down, letting them hang low beneath his buttocks. His cock immediately springs free, slapping against his stomach, and you sink your teeth into your bottom lip at the sight.
“Come here,” Jeongguk's voice carries a jagged intonation, raw and untamed, and breaks through you like crashing waves. But when he makes a grab for your body, his hands are nothing but gentle, hoisting you up onto your knees and positioning you on all fours.
With your ass bared before him, face pressed into the cold faux leather of the couch, Jeongguk smooths a hand down your back, watches with satisfaction as your spine yields before his touch, and then he takes a hold of his dick. Doesn't even bother giving it a few preliminary pumps because he's already painfully hard, precum leaking from the tip as he lines himself with your hole.
He doesn't put it in though.
First, he teases your little cunt with only the head of his length, not fully embedding himself within your warmth just yet. You whimper pathetically at the testing prod, fingers balling into frustrated fists, while Jeongguk watches in awe as your entrance narrows, pleading to be stuffed.
“God, look at you.” Jeongguk groans, eyes traveling from your glistening pussy to the state of your overall servile form.
He places one hand on your hip, fingers digging into the skin there, as he inches just the slightest bit forward, his dick slowly pushing into you. Your mouth parts at the sensation and you shakily prop yourself up onto your elbows, head falling forward with a moan. “So fucking needy, huh.” He goads when you attempt to meet him in the middle, subtly backing up against his pelvis.
“No,” You shake your head as if it's some sort of lie, as if you haven't been thinking about this moment since you stepped over the doorsill of Jeongguk’s apartment earlier. And your boyfriend laughs—he actually laughs—a maniacal, derisive sound that rings in your ears.
“There's no need to deny it, baby.” He drawls like smooth liquor hitting the back of your throat, a silky succour that, for some reason, has you dumbly nodding along. Because Jeongguk’s entering you more now, his dick fighting against the tight restraint of your heat, and you're too distracted by the feeling of it to fully comprehend what he's saying.
“I mean,” He continues, reaching down between your legs to gather the wetness clinging to your folds before he bends over your back, lips brushing against the shell of your ear. “You’d think you've never been fucked a day in your life.” He murmurs, bringing his slick fingers to your level of sight.
You flush instantly, burning at the way your arousal dwells on Jeongguk's digits and forms a translucent web when he parts them into a V shape. “I can't help it,” You breathe shamefully, about to protest that it's his fault for letting you go so long without attention, for not taking care of your sexual needs and making you this susceptible to moments of depravity, when Jeongguk fully entrenches himself into your heat without so much as a warning.
“Aah,” Your jaw slackens at the sudden stretch of his length against your walls, the sensation so unfairly delicious you find yourself clenching around the intrusion with gasp, and your boyfriend uses the opportunity to stuff his letch-laiden fingers into your mouth.
“Clean them.” He grunts, lazily rocking forward and you choke back a moan, mouth instantly closing around his fingers. Head full of clouds, pussy filled to the brim, you obey. Your tongue licks up the juices stuck to his slim digits, gliding sensually across each one with care, and you vaguely hear Jeongguk curse below his breath, hips grinding into your core. “Fuck, just like that, angel.” He praises, allowing you to suck them clean for a few more seconds before he pulls them from your lips altogether with a lewd pop.
“Such a good girl,” He murmurs lovingly, pressing a singular kiss to your shoulder blade before he straightens to his full height behind you. “Always so perfect for me.”
Jeongguk's hands find your ass again and he gives the supple flesh a few gentle squeezes, savouring the way you whine in response.
“Please,” Your words come out embarrassingly broken and wretched, heart hammering in your chest with want, as you peek at Jeongguk over your shoulder. “Please, no more teasing. Just fuck me.”
“What do you think I'm doing?” Jeongguk asks, eyebrow raised, voice harbouring a hue of cockiness. He withdraws his thick length from your warm embrace at an agonizingly slow rate before thrusting right back in, repeating the motion steadily. “I'm fucking you right now, aren't I?”
You want to cry, your need to come so severe, it's starting to physically hurt.
Your fingers leave deep indents in the couch as you tackle the burning coals of frustration setting every inch of your body on fire. “M-More,” You stammer, feeling a pearl of arousal trickle down your thigh. You're so turned on right now, your mind an empty haze as Jeongguk edges you into oblivion, cunt so wet, you can barely feel the brush of his shaft against your walls anymore. “I need more.”
Jeongguk grins, feels the crown of his cock brush against a particular soft spot, and then decides to give you what you want. Because he loves it when you beg, when you become a blubbering mess beneath him, so cock-hungry, you forget yourself.
Without a moment's pause, Jeongguk pounds into you with unbridled vigour. His hips slap against your ass, the sound echoing throughout the room, and your body jerks forward at the impact. Your core is so drenched he's able to enter you with little resistance now. Emitting a rough, throaty groan, he fixates on how your creamy arousal coats his cock, disappearing in and out of your cunt.
“F-Fuck,” You hiss, your hand reaching back to firmly grip Jeongguk’s wrist for support, but he takes advantage of your extended arm and yanks you up until your back is pressed to his chest.
The new position gives him better access to your front and Jeongguk ghosts a hand around your waist without a second thought, smooths it down your stomach until he reaches your clit. Your body jolts the instant his fingers make contact with the swollen bud, legs quivering with the strength it's taking you to stay upright.
Your boyfriend notices your struggle and hooks his other arm around your waist, his fingertips holding you so tightly you won't be surprised if some bruises appear there tomorrow.
“Fuck, I've missed this.” He rasps, more to himself than you, whilst drilling against your g-spot. But the words affect you just the same as your pussy tightens in response, squeezing him into a death grip, and Jeongguk's hips stutter. “Jesus,” He groans, making a mental effort to stave off his own orgasm, trying to focus solely on you.
You really are going to be the death of him.
He breathes heavily through his nostrils before starting up again, slowly driving into you and his cock burrows so deep, you swear you can feel it in your uterus.
His fingers skim over your clit, tracing the nub ever so slightly because you're starting to flinch from his touch, starting to grow sensitive. And when your head falls back against his shoulder, a choked whine forcing its way out your throat, Jeongguk knows that you're close.
“You gonna come for me?” Jeongguk's lips brush against your temple, his hand deserting your pussy in sympathy to knead your breasts instead. You feel his thumb run over your nipple, static lightning steamrolling across your skin with each sweep.
“I-ah!” You can barely form a coherent sentence, the inklings of even one lucid thought slipping from your empty, fucked out mind as Jeongguk slams into you. He's setting a brutal pace, the noise of skin-against-skin undeniably obscene, but you can hardly find the will to care when the muscles in your abdomen begin to tense. They twist up like a clockwork toy, winding and winding, until Jeongguk hits a particular spot that makes your toes curl, and then you're coming undone for the second time tonight, knees buckling with the sheer force of your orgasm.
It hits you like a freight train, your body spasming. White dots of euphoria blur your vision, the pleasure so blinding, and Jeongguk's hold around your midsection is the only reason you don't collapse right there onto the couch.
“That's it, baby.” He reveres, hips never ceasing their movements even as your walls contract sporadically, determined to fuck you through it. An uncannily pornstar moan spills from your lips, mind and body having finally plunged into the silvery, stormy torrents of your climax, and the strangled sound causes something impossibly primal to rupture within Jeongguk. It thrashes at his chest like a wild caged animal, demanding release, and he recognizes the feeling all too well.
“You're mine, right? ” He finds himself grunting, voice husky with strain. The hand that was attending to your boobs instinctively ascends to your throat, squeezing slightly as he chases his own high, gives in to that grueling streak of possessiveness that only every rears its head when he has you like this—naked and vulnerable—and you groan at the familiar pressure.
You hum, walls clenching around him. “Only yours.” Your own hand reaches up, cuffing around his wrist for support as a tremor runs down your spine.
Jeongguk feels his balls tighten, the knowledge that he’s the sole witness to this side of you, so subservient and docile, sets him off the deep end.
Then you angle your head to the side, joining your lips with his. It's a messy, sloppy kiss, but the intimacy of it all causes Jeongguk's last bit of composure to crack.
He spills into you with a groan, the sound muffled by your mouth, as he rocks forward until every last drop of his seed is snug within your warmth.
The feeling of his cum bursting inside of you, length twitching, causes your pussy to flutter by reflex, milking Jeongguk of every ounce of cum, only suspending their contractions once he's thoroughly depleted.
By the end, you're both a heaving mess; chests rising and falling in unison as you come down, the electric current pulsing through your bodies fading into a comfortable hum.
Your skin is still buzzing, head befuddled, when Jeongguk presses a few lazy kisses across your shoulder—as if to ground you, to bring you back from the constellations he's painted behind your eyes.
“You were so good, baby.” He commends, smoothing the hair at the side of your profile and you can't help the soft, but dopey smile that breaks out onto your face then.
“I've been dreaming about that for forever.” You murmur, submitting to the assault of his lips. Your boyfriend chuckles in return, nuzzling your neck as he commits the smell of your skin, an alluring scent of sex and lavender, to his memory.
“Me too,” He hums, thumb gliding gently across the contour of your waist. Your sensitive pussy throbs at the light touch, rousing from the stimulation; which only reminds you of the unpleasant remnants of arousal coating your inner thighs.
As if reading your mind, Jeongguk whispers against your skin. “Let's get you cleaned up, okay?”
He eyes your figure carefully, waiting for any hint of consent before he leaves you here alone.
You manage to muster a nod and then feel his dick slip from your entrance a second later, withdrawing in a way that makes you cringe and leaves you feeling oddly empty.
“I’ll be right back.” He assures, his lips quickly, but comfortingly, brushing against your hairline. Thereafter, from your peripheral, you see Jeongguk detach himself from your side, pulling his pants back up as he disappears into the bathroom to do what he does best—take care of you.
In the meantime, you resist the temptation to slump back onto the sofa, feeling a hefty load of cum leaking down your thighs. Every muscle in your body feels relaxed, those sparks from earlier sizzling down into sleepy, smoky remnants that weigh you down. Mind a dazed mess, not sure of how much time has passed, you almost give in—the slumber you so desperately sought out at the beginning of the night finally settling into your bones—when Jeongguk walks back into the living room. He's changed into a pair of briefs and is carrying a wet cloth, as well as, a small tube of ointment.
Your body instantly perks up, a little rejuvenated by his presence.
“Hey,” Jeongguk murmurs once he's back in your close vicinity, fingers brushing against your cheeks as he peers down at you with a soft smile.
“Hey,” You tiredly grin back, pointing a finger at the items in his hand. “Those for me?”
Jeongguk hums, draping an arm around your waist to steady you. If you had the energy to freshen yourself up, you honestly would but currently, you can barely keep your eyes open. So instead you lean on your boyfriend—figuratively and literally—clutching onto his biceps as he brings the warm cloth to your nether regions. You hiss a little at the contact, still feeling delicate down there, but Jeongguk handles you with a gentle mindfulness that makes your heart swell. Makes you think back to a little over an hour ago, when you were alone in bed unable to fall asleep because he wasn't there.
And sometimes it worries you. How much you need him. How much something as simple and basic as sleep, needs the warmth of his touch to make its mark on you. How much you’ve grown to love him in the span of a few months, your life endlessly orbiting around him like the earth to the sun. How much the deepest crevices of your soul, where the vile fear of abandonment and instinctual desire to run, relinquish themselves to the light of Jeongguk’s unconditional love.
You watch him toss the used washcloth to the side before unscrewing the top of the ointment. Sigh; as his fingers, tender with purpose, apply dabs of vitamin K salve to your hips where the marks from his fingertips are starting to surface. “Shit, I'm so sorry baby.” He apologizes, the raspy, hushed tone of his voice communicating how guilt-ridden he feels. “I didn't mean to be this rough.”
And, you've never known a love like this. One that rustles through your hair like the wind on the drive down to your parents. One that meets you in the dead of winter between classes, wrapped up in coats and scarves, and coffee as the snow falls. One that kisses you goodnight, hands cupping your cheeks while the street lamps flicker outside.
One that dresses all your bruises.
It makes you want to run in the opposite direction every now and then, fleeing until you forget that you ever knew it could be this good, this safe.
But, staring at Jeongguk and the careful, intricate way he's massaging ointment onto all your black-and-blues, you bury these trepidations away, laying them to rest in the one place they belong—the past.
Because yes, you’ve never had this sort of love before—the seriousness, the commitment.
The emptied-out drawers for your clothes.
The spare toothbrush at his place.
The conversations of a future together—the clear line being crossed from fling to forever.
Even though it's a concept so scary and unfamiliar, and foreign to you—you never want to let it go.
You never want to let him go.
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inkedbybarnes · 3 days
Text
Unclear
bucky barnes x fem!reader
summary: everyone thinks you're dating bucky, except yourself.
word count: 2.4k
warnings: 18+ minors dni. miscommunication (i love this trope, sue me), angst with a happy fluffy ending, quite stubborn reader, implied smut if you squint, usage of petnames such as baby and doll. lowercase for basically everything.
i haven't finished anything in decades, but i suddenly had an idea just now and decided to write it down. surprisingly, i finished it? might have a lot of mistakes and such since i haven't proofread it yet. also, sorry for using lowercase for this one, i kinda like how it looks. hope you enjoy this one!
dividers by @cafekitsune!
reblogs, likes, and comments are highly appreciated. thank you! ♡
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“you're confusing me. so... you're not dating bucky?'
wanda tilted her head, confusion etched on her face as you spent your weekly girl's night with natasha. it usually consisted of eating food you all desired, drinking until you got wasted, and spilling secrets to one another.
although tonight, you weren't sure if you had any secrets to spill.
"as far as i know, no. we're just friends, teammates. nothing else," you answered with a heavy sigh. "can we talk about something else?"
"hold your horses, young lady! we are not skipping this topic again. you obviously want a label but he isn't giving you one!" wanda protested. she has been constantly asking about you and bucky's relationship for the past weeks, and you always had the same answer. you don't know.
"have you never talked about it with bucky? he looks at you like you'd get lost if he looks away for a second. not a single soul in the tower would think that you're just friends," natasha interjected, taking another sip from the bottle of beer she held. she had a point, as always. "if he's just playing with you, which i highly doubt for barnes, then just end whatever that is. you deserve better than having doubts and confusion, babe."
you've tried asking him multiple times, but every attempt felt like you were stepping on his boundaries. after years of being controlled by hydra, you knew it was possible that he'd hate the feeling of being rushed and entering a relationship that could potentially feel like a cage to him.
but natasha was right. your "relationship" was no longer anything friendly. he sleeps in your bed, claiming he slept better in it, and wakes up beside you to shower you with kisses. none of you even tried to hide it after some time. you always cooked your meals and ate them together, casually feeding one another and stealing kisses in between. you even stopped going on dates and you had no idea if you were exclusive. you deserved to know what your relationship with bucky was, but you were too scared to lose everything once you asked.
"we're not dating. i only see him as a friend, so you can both stop worrying about me." you lied through your teeth, your chest aching as you realised how stupid this was. you sighed and faked a smile, shifting the attention to natasha. "so, tell me about your date with steve! how was the first ever date of captain america since the 40s?"
wanda was distracted by the question, immediately bombarding the now blushing widow with questions. on the other hand, your mind flew away for a minute, finally deciding to get an answer from bucky.
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the annual ball that tony stark held for, well, nearly anyone, was nearing. you only had two weeks left, and you haven't even gone out to find something to wear. it was hard to find any motivation to do all that effort when the person you've been waiting to ask you as his date hasn't asked you yet.
although, bucky had a tendency to get shy and hold back. you knew that. so here you were, standing behind the doors to the gym, knowing that bucky would be training at this hour. you still haven't asked him the question you were supposed to ask him, so you decided to do it all at once.
after you've finished your small pep talk, you opened the door to enter the room and your first instinct was to search for bucky.
considering that he was a huge chunk of a man, he was easy to find. however, the sight of him standing in front of a woman that was too close for your comfort wasn't delightful.
he didn't see you entering the room since he was facing the opposite direction, conversing with the agent that happened to be training as well. she had the sweetest and flirtiest smile on her face, bringing her hand up to his arm, slowly caressing it. you didn't mean to easily hear their conversation as you walked closer.
"so, do you happen to have someone for me to have as a date for the ball? i don't want to be lonely on that night, sergeant," the agent said with an extra pout, swaying her hips side to side like a child asking for candy.
"oh, yeah? i think i have someone for you," bucky replied, breaking your heart into pieces with how enthusiastic he was with his answer. "i'm sure you'll—"
you sniffed. unconsciously. not knowing that your tears were already falling, causing your nose to get stuffy. how pathetic, you thought.
your little sniff caught the attention of both the agent and bucky, looking at you in shock. although, the girl was more pleasantly surprised than the opposite. thankfully, you already had your tears wiped before they could see them.
"oh, we didn't see you there!" she greeted you with your name. "we were just talking about our date for this year's ball. who are you bringing?"
"i haven't decided yet, no one's worth it even if i try," you answered bitterly. "so you're going together?"
before bucky could answer, the agent already had her arm wrapped around his, happily smiling at your question. "yeah! amazing, right? i actually thought you two had a thing, but i guess not. glad things worked out in the end."
and that was your last straw. "well, enjoy yourselves. i have to go and find natasha."
you turned to leave, ignoring the loud calls of bucky. you were glad that you never asked him about your relationship and the ball. you were going to be hurt either way.
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you spent the next hours stuck in your room, body covered with a thick sheet as you ranted about your frustrations to friday.
it was silly, you knew that, but you refused to call natasha and wanda to remind you of your stupidity and decided to let an ai robot listen to your problems instead.
"and he even flirted back! answering coyly like a teenager. he's 107 years old, fri!" you whined, not noticing the new nickname you've given the alternative intelligence. "ugh, now i have a broken heart and no date in sight. how did it get to this?"
"perhaps you must discuss this matter with sergeant barnes first. your conversation ended quite abruptly with no clear conclusion."
"no, i don't want the truth rubbed on my face," you said, grabbing another piece of tissue to sneeze in. "you restricted him from entering my room, right?"
friday answered with a yes, then you thanked her for listening and decided to get some sleep after tirelessly crying for hours. you knew you had a team meeting with the avengers in a bit, but you couldn't bring yourself to even walk a few steps.
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your sleep ended and you were woken up with friday's reminder that it was time for dinner with the team.
with a groan, you pushed yourself off your bed. bucky would be there, but you were too hungry to care. it would be awkward, of course, but you had to face him at some point anyway.
your feet padded towards the door, opening it after trying your hair in a bun.
"ah, fuck."
you jumped at the voice and the body falling to the floor as you opened the door.
"bucky?" you asked, still in shock. "were you sleeping outside of my room?"
you watched bucky stand up, his hand massaging his aching nape as he looked for your eyes. "friday won't let me in. i waited outside instead. i guess i fell asleep during that," he explained, a frown forming on his face. "did you restrict me from entering our room?"
your eyes widened at his choice of words. our room. he considered your room to be his room as well. while that would've made you melt in an instant, you were still hurt to entertain that possibility.
"this is my room, barnes. not yours, not ours. and yes, i had you restricted because i couldn't face you yet. what do you need anyway?"
"i wanted to see you, talk to you." a flash of pain crossed his eyes. "whatever happened at the gym, it's—"
"bucky, you don't have to explain anything to me. we're just friends. it's my fault i assumed we were something. i just need some time to get over it."
"but i thought we were something as well..." he replied, his voice was almost as quiet as a whisper. "i thought we were dating."
"were we?" you asked, genuinely curious. "we never.. you never said anything. i mean, yeah, i wished it meant something, but i thought you wouldn't want to be trapped in a relationship with me, so i just waited. apparently, i was right and i can't blame you for that."
"right about what? the thing that happened in the gym this morning?" he asked. you nodded in response. "i know it sounds like i was flirting back, well i didn't know at the moment, until i asked steve who was clueless but he called nat to help me out and explained that it looked like i was flirting back. i wasn't. i was just going to suggest sam as a date for her. i would never agree to anyone."
oh. so he just wasn't interested in anyone at all.
"besides this one girl who's constantly been in my head. that's if she'd even give me a chance and say yes. i fucked it up badly before i could even ask her properly."
you knew what hoping got you, but you couldn't help but think that he was talking about you. he'd have to be clueless to say all those things in front of you only for it to be someone else.
"i love you, baby. i should've told you that, i should've made it clear sooner. i'm so sorry i let you have doubts when i could've been reassuring you about what i feel for you."
"bucky..."
"i would never feel trapped with you, doll. only you made me feel so much love and freedom. i'd be a fool to let go of that. i'm sorry it took a few hits and harsh words from natasha to make me realise that i wasn't giving you enough when you deserve everything." he held your face in his hands, bringing you closer to him. you felt breathless, tears threatening to fall but this time it was out of joy. "hydra made sure i had no voice to express myself. now, i'll use it to let you know that i love you so fucking much that it hurts when you're not around. i promise to work on it. if anything like this happens again, ask me, baby. demand things from me. i'll give you everything in a heartbeat."
"even if i ask for your arm?"
he laughed, a sound that was music to your ears. "it's yours baby. although, i do like fucking you with my metal—"
"bucky!" you scolded him, hitting him lightly on the chest.
"sorry, baby. couldn't help it. missed my girl so much."
his girl. you loved hearing that.
"it's only been a few hours. don't be silly," you reminded him, but you knew you also felt the same.
"i miss you even when i don't see you for a second." you couldn't help but laugh at his words. "something funny, doll?"
"sorry, natasha said something similar about you a few days ago," you answered. "i'm sorry for assuming so quickly, bucky. you deserved the chance to explain."
"and you did let me explain. i can't blame you for assuming and getting hurt when i never gave you the confirmation to believe otherwise. don't apologise for it, baby."
"i love you," you said, causing him to grin widely.
"yeah? you love me too?" he asked, a hint of pink tinting his cheeks. "this is official now, right? we're dating?"
you nodded happily, giggling as he landed a kiss to your mouth. "so, you wanna go to the ball with me?"
he kissed you again. "don't. i'm supposed to be asking you that. i had an entire thing prepared for you, i even dragged half of the team to help me out days ago. besides wanda and natasha, of course. couldn't let them tell you about it."
your heart swelled, he was already planning to ask you before all of this misunderstanding happened, and it could've been solved with communication. lesson learned, indeed.
"well hurry because i can't wait to say yes," you playfully threatened him, kissing the tip of his nose until the loud rumble of your stomach interrupted your sweet moment. "ah, right. i was on my way to eat dinner when i opened the door."
bucky laughed, his eyes twinkling witth adoration as he kept his eyes on you. "we can't have you starving, that's for sure. come, let's get you something." he held your hand, and dragged you the kitchen. he turned to look at you with a playful smile. "wanna cook together like the old times?"
you smiled. "like the old times."
in the middle of your cooking session, you heard whistles and claps along with the footsteps that entered the kitchen. you both turned to find the rest of the team with shit eating grins.
"finally! so is this real or do we need to smack your heads?" tony asked, his hand placed on his hip.
"it's always been real, stark," bucky answered, wrapping his arm around your waist. "except this time, i'm making sure my entire world knows it."
"i think everybody knows you have a thing for each other, barnes." clint added.
"i meant my entire world, not everybody." bucky looked at you with awe. "she's my world."
bucky's answer gained various loud reactions from the team, mostly calling him a cheesy old man and fake gags, but there you were, cheeks heating up as you looked back at him with the same amount of love, if not more.
and he did ask you to be his date to the ball the day after, surprising you with his so-called secret plan.
a year later, he surprised you with a ring as he knelt on one knee.
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scientia-rex · 3 days
Text
One of my patients used to be a Big Deal Specialist in the city and you can just TELL he’s SEETHING that no one out here is even qualified to understand what he did, much less how important he was. He’s also terrified of death. It’s both annoying and really sad. Like, sir, I hate to break it to you, but no amount of knowledge will protect you from the ravages of time. It’s a special kind of hell to know the stages of various fatal diseases intimately. What is it going to feel like when it’s my turn? How do doctors want to die? Suddenly, quietly. Slip away painlessly in my sleep. But how likely is that? Not very. More likely I’ll get cardiovascular disease or cancer, the greatest killers of our time.
He was so afraid of cancer he had an organ that wasn’t cancerous removed just in case. He talks down to me as if I’m his student, and who knows? Maybe I was. He was in the same city as me, and they were forever dragging Big Name Doctors in to teach us things. Maybe I learned how to elicit Achilles tendon reflexes from him.
But mostly I find myself a little scornful. Who lives without the shadow of death? Who doesn’t think about death all the time? When you die, life is a round thing, finished and whole. What will your life look like when God holds it in the palm of his hand?
Also don’t fucking call me by my first name unless I’ve specifically said you can. I don’t GIVE that permission to patients, except for my mentally ill trans and queer patients. If I wanted to be disrespected by an older man I would have married young.
You do not have time. This important doctor who based his whole life around his importance lived as rich and full a life as anyone. And now he’s clinging to it, leaving fingernail marks on the walls on his way out. No one has time. There will be a moment when you’re dying when you think, I would give anything I have to be back in that moment. Any ordinary moment. Taking the dogs out to go potty. Browsing at the grocery store. When you’re being crucified on a hospital bed, dying and aware of it through the morphine, you would give anything you ever possessed to go back and have one more agony-free afternoon. Sit on a curb or a stoop. Walk through a park. Hug your spouse. These tiny fragmentary moments that we are constantly sliding through, tobogganing past at high speeds, these are what will be our life when our life is over.
I am accountable to that self. To the dying me. What did I do with this gift and curse? I don’t believe in God, but I know that I will die, and I have watched enough dying people by now to know the kinds of things I’ll think about. I want to make that me proud of what I’ve done and how I’ve spent my life. She will be a harder judge than God, and I want her to look at this one little life and think, yes. I did what I meant to.
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rustytubas · 3 days
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Arise, Bloodpact nation; I bring forth an offering
Though tbh this is not very accurate to the characters. I don’t think Astarion would doubt even for a second if Wyll would reject Halsin or not. I mean it’s Wyll we’re talking about here. However, in my Wyll playthrough; after Halsin’s proposition and asking Astarion for his thoughts, I couldn’t help but pick up a hint of insecurity despite him giving his permission (i rejected Halsin regardless). Thus this comic appeared before me.
On a separate note, id like to shout out my friend who I’ve been slowly converting into a wyllstarion shipper and who also hates halsin
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amid-fandoms · 24 hours
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you’re just gonna be a passenger princess, imagine phil
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luveline · 2 days
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if you are looking for spencer and bombshell requests, what about the first time a girl flirts with spencer after they start dating, but bombshell is fully secure because she knows her worth and understands that he’s a catch? if you need more ideas i can squeeze my brain really hard
love ur brain pls keep squeezing it <3 fem!reader
You’re the cheesy girlfriend no one expects you to be. You change your phone contact for Spencer to ‘My Sweet Boyfriend’ with a heart, you hold his hand in stupid places (though you’d done that before, sometimes), you bring him coffee, you fluster when he kisses your cheek no matter your disposition —you're overwhelmed in the honeymoon phase, and everybody’s surprised. 
“That’s not very cool of you,” Morgan says, having noticed your ducked head, your smile dripping with a private pleasure and your cheek still shining with Spencer’s quick kiss. He’s gone to find plastic cutlery. 
“I’m not that cool when it comes to Spencer,” you say. 
“I can’t believe what I’m hearing.” 
Morgan is as pleased for you both finally getting together as anyone, even if he finds it foreign. It is weird to suddenly be openly in love with each other, and likely stranger for the team to see you in anything that isn’t total calm collection. 
“He’s so lovely.” 
“Yeah, I know,” Morgan says, more earnest now as he slaps a rolled sandwich down in front of you. “He’s a catch. I asked for no mayonnaise, was I supposed to do that?” 
Emily tucks her seat in next to yours. “He’s totally trapped by that secretary again, I hate to tell you.” 
You turn around. 
“Why would you tell her that?” Morgan asks. 
“What?” 
You peer out of the office door, where Spencer’s being chatted to by a stunningly attractive secretary. She has dark skin and darker hair, alluring almond eyes that light her sweetheart face with a bright charm. “Oh, she’s getting prettier,” you say. 
You’ve got Spencer Reid locked in. Nothing in you doubts that he’s currently infatuated with you. You don’t even care when he laughs at her joke, or when she dips her head bashfully toward him. 
“You better go and get your man,” Morgan says. 
“What for?” 
“She’s flirting hard,” JJ says. She’s only just looked up from her phone. “He’s gonna start blushing.” 
As if. You turn back to the table, unwrapping the paper from your sandwich with a happy sigh. Spencer looks so cute when he blushes, his cheeks turn pink and he smiles like he’s being tickled, it’s adorable. If that pretty secretary wants to do the hard work for you, it’s her prerogative. He’s your boyfriend. 
“I don’t need to do anything, he’s fine,” you say. 
You’re cutting your sandwich in half when you feel a presence behind your back. A familiar hand closes around your shoulder, a voice in your ear, “Thanks for nothing.” 
You giggle at his embarrassed tone, turning your face up to his, immediately delighted by his pink-tinged cheeks and neck. “You looked like you were having fun!” 
“You’re not gonna pretend to be mad?” he asks, leaning over you to open your sandwich. He pulls out a sad looking tomato and a similarly wilted slice of lettuce and closes it again. “Did you want a drink? I can’t believe you.” 
“Spencer, did you want me to come and get you?” you tease. 
“It would’ve been nice of you. Drink?” 
You laugh again, tugging him down by the wrist. “No, Spencer, I don’t want a drink, just sit down. What was I supposed to do? I’m not gonna pull her off of you.” 
“But why?” he asks, nearly not quite pouting. “She asked me if it was too hot in here for me.” He sits in the chair beside you, his hand dropping to the soft inside of your thigh as he leans in imploringly. “If you cared about me at all–”
Everybody laughs, including yourself. He’s clearly joking, and for once nobody on the team mistakes it for ineptitude, which seems to cheer him up. He gives your leg a rather bold squeeze considering who he is and where you are, and again when you gesture for him to lift his face to plant a kiss on the ridge of his jaw. “I do care about you, Spencer. Sorry I wasn’t jealous. Should we try again?” 
He turns your face away from your coworkers, eye to eye. “You’re making fun of me.” 
His hand trails to your elbow. “No,” you say, your skin tingling under his touch. 
“I don’t believe you. And I know you need a drink, they didn’t send your bottle of water. I didn’t manage to find those forks, either.” 
He gets up again. He hasn’t so much as glanced at his own food, patting your back in a promise that he’ll return before he edges out of the office and into the station’s bullpen. You take a smug bite of your sandwich. You can’t hide it.
“Told you,” you say once you’ve swallowed. You hadn’t needed to do anything, and you really aren’t worried about other women. “He likes me a lot.” 
“Understatement of the year.” 
You send Morgan a loving smile. When you glance over your shoulder, Spencer’s taking the long way through the office to the water cooler.
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missazura · 19 hours
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I'm at the brink of a suicidal breakdown. I've been waiting to get my paycheck from an illustration job I've done last October 2023, I did ask them about it and said that I would get paid on the 27th. It's the 28th and I still don't see any updates on my end. I've gotten my hopes up for so long, every month since and I've burnt the fuck out from waiting.
I've been refraining myself from eating and buy myself stuff like food and toiletries and I've completely ran out of money to survive. I wish i could accept commissions but I haven't been doing great mental and physical wise and I don't have the means to draw other than a few sketches to cheer myself up. I'm completely burnt out.
If you could help spread this around I would appreciate it, every bit helps at least to cover my necessities for a while until I hope to eventually get paid
I'm sorry for asking for donations so frequently I just can't hold on for much longer in this state
Donations and reblogs are appreciated, thank you
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dollkisses05 · 2 days
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“I love you” until my daddy issues scare you away
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wastefulreverie · 3 days
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girl wake up im writing a no one knows au sequel
“Danny, one of these days you have to tell us what’s up,” Sam said. “You can’t stretch yourself thin like this forever. Whatever your secret life has you doing.” “I don’t have a secret life.” Which is exactly what someone who had a secret life would say, but Danny obviously evaded this with the loophole that was being dead. His secret half-life was also none of their business.
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wysteria-bloom · 2 days
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⚝ " i'll never smile again "
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The hazbin boys are visibly stressed
Warnings : I used female pronouns. There are mentions of Valentino. Highly suggestive in Vox's part because yeah it makes sense. Alastor offers to go on a murderous rampage with the reader 🥰
Genre : Fluff, suggestive
A/n : I hate the people in my life and they stress me tf out so I'm writing to vent my frustrations out. :) I only included my favs in this one but if you would like a part two with other characters then say the word.
Characters : Alastor, Vox, Lucifer
▢ vox ᯤ
- Offering sexual favours -
Vox growled to himself gently as he typed away at the screen in front of him, eyes honing in obsessively on the words and news articles.
He was on media control right now because fucking Val blew up on Angel in public today.
Now he's forced to get rid of every media that is sculpting Valentino out to be the bad guy.
Whoopee fucking doo.
"Fuckin' Val... stupid idiot.... stupidly hot idiot." He sighed out, running his hands down his face tiredly then his eyes widened with an idea,"... Where's my assistant."
"Here, sir."
"Fuckin' christ-!" He yelped out at the sudden voice and he spun around quickly in his chair, coming face to face with her amused little shit-eating grin. He glared, scowl on his lips," You been there the whole time?"
"Yes, sir." She nodded, hands folded in her lap modestly.
"You're a little creep, y'know that?"
"Yes, sir."
He sighed and rolled his shoulders, wincing at the painful cracks that resounded from them," You seen the media?"
She nodded," yes, quite the 'clusterfuck' as you would put it."
His lip twitched in amusement," perfect descriptor, honestly." He then clicked his fingers at the screen," Is Troy on today? Tell him to deal with the rest of the articles pl-"
"It's Troy's day off today, sir." (Name) interrupted, walking so she was standing next to him, she leaned over him a little to click away at the tabs he had opened," But I will call him to come in. You need rest." She replied promptly.
Vox watched her with an almost sleepy look in his eyes, watching her close down the articles with quick and manicured claws.
"What would I do without you, eh?" He hummed out.
A chuckle flitted from her lips and he found himself entranced by the sound of it," I think you'd do well for yourself without me, sir." She reassured with a gentle voice and stepped away from the desk a little, turning to face him," would you like me to accompany you to your room?"
He blinked and then smirked," how forward of you, sweetheart." He cooed out with that sultry tone of his," Take me out to dinner first, yeah?"
She tilted her head to the side with an owlish blink,"... Would you like to go to dinner? Would that be a better form of stress relief for you that the first option?"
His mouth fell open with a shocked look as he stared at her, a little buffering symbol in the top right corner of his screen for a moment before it disappeared, a dark blush appearing on his face," f-fuck wait... w-were you suggesting we..."
"We have sex? Yes. I hear it's a rather fantastic way of stress relief and you are a rather sexually frustrated individual so it would-"
He place a hand over her mouth as he stood from his chair, basically towering over her.
There was a hungry look in his eyes as he let that charming grin twitch onto his lips," You're about the best damn fuckin' assistant I've ever had."
She smiled beneath his hand and grabbed onto his wrist gently, maneuvering it so she could place an oh-so-gentle kiss to his wrist whilst looking into his eyes," I'm honoured, sir." She hummed out in a sultry fashion.
Vox gulped, his self-control snapping, red leaking from his mouth," I'm gonna fuck the shit outta you."
"I wouldn't have it any other way, sir."
▢ alastor ⍋
- Expressing your issues over a glass of giggle juice -
A sigh and a huff fell from her lips as she made her way into the hotel lobby, shoulders sagging from a long day of work.
There seemed to be nobody in the lobby as she walked over to the bar and poured herself out a glass of whiskey.
"Late-night drinking? That's not like you." The familiar static of Alastor graced her ears.
(Name) blinked and looked over to him, noticing how tensed his smile seemed. His eyes looked... genuinely exhausted. His ears flopped downwards ever so slightly.
"Looks like you should be joining me," She hummed back and grabbed another glass, wiggling it at him suggestively.
He watched it for a second before relaxing and grabbing it, sitting next to her at the bar and pouring the liquid. He took a sip with her and his smile seemed to curl in a more soft way now.
"Hm, I dare say my dear, that does just hit the spot doesn't it?" He hummed out, a more relaxed expression on his face.
"You can say that again. No wonder Husk is an alcoholic, I understand the appeal after having an awful day." She replied with a nod of agreement," yknow, sometimes I wish Hell was just a personal purgatory instead of me having to deal with other people's shit."
"Agreed. It gets tiring, doesn't it? Makes you want to go a little batshit insane, yes?" He said this with a polite tone of voice, ears perked up.
"I want to go on a murderous rampage every second of every day."
"We could join forces if it ever came to that. We would kill twice the amount of demons."
She grinned at him," how flattering. You'd go on a murder spree with me, Al?"
He pressed a hand to his heart to express his genuine sincerity," Dear, if I ever say no to a question like that then I give you my full and utter permission to kill me in the most brutal way you can think of." He replied honestly, and (name) didn't know whether to be flattered or concerned but she found herself laughing along anyways.
"What a charmer," She grinned at him brightly," You can be so romantic when you want to, hm?"
"Romance has nothing to do with it. It is merely etiquette." He tilted his head at her, resting it in the palm of his hand, expression seemingly brightened from just a conversation with her," what's got you so downtrodden?"
She deflated a little, smile tired," Overworked and under-appreciated for the work I do." She replied simply, taking a sip of her whiskey," I'll never smile again~" She sang sadly.
Alastor perked up at the familiar song," until I smile at youuu~" he serenaded, smile only widening at the sound of her amused laughter.
Then he looked her over, an almost disappointed glint in his eyes," I still wonder why you work for that insolent shitbox after all these years." His smile seemed to sharpen at the thought of Vox," He doesn't deserve you at all. Not a single bit."
(Name) shrugged," I'm helpless, what can I say?"
"You're not. You're a strong woman, (name). Stand up for yourself. And if you can't stand?" His eyes glowed sinisterly," Break his legs off so you can."
She stared on for a second before raising her glass," Most sound advice I've heard for years."
Alastor barked out an amused laugh and raised his hlass to hers, "For that compliment? I will break his legs for you if it is needed, darlin'. "
Clink went their glasses as they enjoyed each other's company for a while longer.
▢ lucifer morningstar ⚝
- Gentle caresses and positive affirmations -
"Okay so... meeting with the angels next week... then I have to call Michael- eugh cowabummer... then I have to-"
(Name) watched her friend flail around his office with a concerned frown on her lips, arms crossed over her chest.
He's been so stressed lately. He had that little break in between where he could just... chill.
And make his cute rubber duckies.
But now with everything in the hotel, he's had a lot more work on his shoulders. Specifically with Heaven, as unfortunate as that was.
She saw his claws scratching through his hair as he paced back and forth, as though he was entranced by all these... issues. He's so entranced he's forgotten she's there with him.
So she sighed and lifted herself from the wall and walked into his walk-cycle path, grabbing onto his shoulders before he could crash into her.
He blinked in surprise and met eyes with her, a dumbfounded expression on his face," Oh... Hey."
She smiled," Hey."
"Sorry, you've probably heard me complain enough lately. Your pretty ears must be burning with all the yapping-"
"Of course not, Lou..." She huffed out, interrupting him with a frown of disapproval. Her hands moved from his shoulders to his arms, rubbing gentle touches of comfort," I think you've got too much on your plate lately - you using me as an outlet to vent to is the least of my problems."
He deflated a little, a tiredly wry grin on his lips," You're... you're too nice, y'know that?"
"What? You'd rather I spit and degrade you~?" She flirted teasingly with a fanged grin.
"No thanks... for now." He then sighed and moved his head to rest on her chest, cheek smooshing against her collar bone," I need a vacation."
(Name) laughed as she threaded her fingers through his mussed-up hair gently and soothingly," You were basically on a vacation already, hon. Now's the time to get back to work. Put all those wonderful thoughts and dreams to good use."
He melted in her arms, closing his eyes slowly as he wrapped his arms around her waist. This felt more domestic than platonic, but the two of them were too focused on eachother to admit that.
"You'll stay, right? I like having you here." He mumbled tiredly," U-unless you don't wanna which I totally understand and a-accept... y'know, you don't have to be here if you don't want t-"
"Stop worrying you dummy." (Name) chuckled out,"... I'd love to stay here with you."
"Phew..." He huffed and grinned sharply," Good to hear... a-amazing to hear!... Y... you're the best."
"Don't I know it~!"
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sharlsworld · 2 days
Text
a digital love letter - ʟɴ4 ☆
✿ lando norris x influencer!reader
✿ a glimpse of all the post’s from when they were “just friends”, to there engagement announcement, to the announcement of there first child.
———
june 1st, 2020
lando.jpg
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liked by alex_albon and 83,924 others
lando.jpg when i asked y/n if she wanted to quarantine with me i didn’t think it would be this long…
yn if you ask me to make one more batch of cloud bread i will lock you outside
⤷ lando.jpg well that’s awfully rude considering i offered you my home
⤷ yn you literally begged me to quarantine with you???
⤷ lando.jpg no need for the details
maxfewtrell couple goals
⤷ lando.jpg fuck off
hearts4lando “just friends” ok buddy 😭
beloved.hamilton just a COUPLE of friends!😄
charles_leclerc i think this quarantine has got your mind all mixed up cause…
lilac.leclerc there so oblivious 😭
f1wags i smell…a incoming wag 👀
———
august 10th, 2020
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liked by georgerussell63 and 984,118 others
lando.jpg took my girl to dinner and let her go shopping for her birthday…never again. she really knows how to spend money
carlossainz55 “my girl” ???
⤷ lando.jpg is she not my girl? she never leaves me alone
⤷ yn you give off this tough guy act like you don’t ask me to hangout every day
⤷ lando.jpg once again, no need for all the details jeez women
landolovesyn it’s the fact she literally makes so much money but he still wants to pay for her stuff really tugs on my heart strings 😪
sharls_lerklerk PAINFULLY OBLIVIOUS
pierregasly cmon mate
⤷ lando.jpg what?
landolovesyn Heather 🤩
———
january 1st, 2021
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liked by charles_leclerc and 1,746,023 others
lando.jpg happy new year bitches 🥳
yn been waitin for this one
⤷ georgerussell63 We all have
⤷ alex_albon seriously everyone
⤷ carlossainz55 Seriously
danielricciardo Took you guys long enough
⤷ yn 1 year is a reasonable amount of time
maxfewtrell NO PHOTO CREDIT?
⤷ lando.jpg no
lilymhe sooo when’s the wedding?
⤷ alex_albon watch they’ll probably get engaged this year
♥︎ by author
ynissocutiepatootie IT FINALLY HAPPENED
lovely_leclerc stop he took her to see the lights 😢
daddyricciardo i wonder how long they’ve been dating before deciding to go public
———
april 14th, 2021
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liked by yukitsunoda05211 and 824,722 others
lando.jpg i was feeling a little down today, but you DEFINITELY turned me on
yn can i help loosen your belt? it looks really tight 😉
⤷ lando.jpg you’ll never catch me saying no to that baby 😏
charles_leclerc Oh come on there’s children on this app lando
carlossainz55 I just opened the app mate
maxverstappen1 Well enough instagram for the day
georgerussell63 I could’ve lived the rest of my life without seeing this
⤷ lando.jpg don’t be hating
estiebestie lando is just a horny teenage boy honestly
♥︎ by yn
landowantsrizz i feel like i’m interrupting something…
hoeforsianzzz so there definitely getting down every night
♥︎ by author & yn
⤷ lilac.leclerc HELLO??? THESE BITCHES MUST BE GETTING DOWN LIKE BUNNIES
———
october 22nd, 2021
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liked by lewishamilton and 7,824,023 others
lando.jpg i couldn’t wait any longer
yn so impatient
⤷ lando.jpg i just couldn’t wait to call you my wife
⤷ yn good thing i said yes then
carlossainz55 Congratulations mate! 🎉🥂
♥︎ by author
lewishamilton Congrats man that’s amazing ♥️
♥︎ by author
maxverstappen1 Congrats bro ♥️
♥︎ by author
lilymhe the gold band 😨
⤷ yn ikr i was flabbergasted
♥︎ by author
charles_leclerc Congrats lando! ❤️
♥︎ by author
danielricciardo Let’s go boys 🥳
♥︎ by author
oscarpiastri Congratulations mate, i’m so happy for you 🧡
⤷ lando.jpg 🧡
maxfewtrell little lando norris finally grew some balls
⤷ lando.jpg i can never win 💔
mclaren To forever! 🧡
♥︎ by author
alex_albon i called it
♥︎ by author
landolovesyn the fact this has 7 million likes and he doesn’t have 7 million followers on this account 😭
lando.norizz THE GOLD BAND? LANDO NORRIS YOU’VE OUTDONE YOURSELF
sharls_lerklerk been here since the video of her accidentally dropping her hydroflask on his foot at one of the races in 2019😭
⤷ lando.jpg i still have the tiny scar on my little toe
———
january 1st, 2022
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liked by oscarpiastri and 792,614 others
lando.jpg happy new year bitches 👀
yn happy new year whore
⤷ carlossainz55 and to think you two are getting married soon…
charles_leclerc Oh thanks mate
⤷ lando.jpg i wasn’t talking to you
⤷ charles_leclerc Alrighty…
georgerussell63 This was such a elegant, mature post, until i saw the caption
⤷ lando.jpg you shouldn’t be surprised
landolovesyn literally all of his posts are about y/n
⤷ hearts4lando basically a fan page
estiebestie i’ll never get tired of seeing lando’s posts for y/n
carlando there relationship is so perfect
lilymhe don’t think just because you two are getting married that she’s yours
⤷ lando.jpg take the L 🤣
———
october 22nd, 2022
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liked by lewishamilton and 28,942,861 others
lando.jpg My greatest love, you are my one and only. From the day you dropped your hydroflask on my foot and laughed until you were crying I knew you were gonna be mine one day, I can’t think of anyone better to spend eternity with. In every universe, I will find you. When death takes my hand, I will hold you with the other, and promise to find you in every lifetime. I love you for everything you are, everything you have been, and everything you will be. You are my destiny, I love you endlessly. ♥️
yn ok…i’m literally sobbing right now i love you so much lando
⤷ lando.jpg i love you the most
danielricciardo Turned on auto caps for this one congrats man i’m so happy of you ♥️
♥︎ by author
lewishamilton I wish you two a lifetime of happiness and health ♥️
♥︎ by author
carlossainz55 To a lifetime of bullying each other! ♥️
♥︎ by author
charles_leclerc Little lando norris isn’t so little anymore? 😂 Congratulations man ♥️
♥︎ by author
mclaren Congratulations lando & y/n! 🧡
♥︎ by author & yn
landolovesyn y/n norris 🥹
lando.norizz crying in the club
lilymhe she was mine first.
⤷ lando.jpg not even
lilymhe congratulations, i guess ♥️
♥︎ by author
alex_albon Congratulations lando ♥️
♥︎ by author
georgerussell63 Can’t believe how far you’ve came mate! Congratulations ♥️
♥︎ by author
francisca.cgomes such a beautiful wedding…should’ve been me and y/n’s but still! ♥️
♥︎ by author
carmenmmundt Congratulations ♥️
♥︎ by author
———
february 29th, 2024
lando.jpg
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liked by maxverstappen1 and 10,523,792 others
lando.jpg Mathéo Lee Norris. 2.10.23 ♥️
comments for this post have been limited
yn my boy 🤍 i love you lan
⤷ lando.jpg i love you the most baby
lilymhe cutest baby boy 💙
♥︎ by author & yn
charles_leclerc I bet he misses his favorite uncle already
⤷ carlossainz55 excuse me?
⤷ charles_leclerc your excused
⤷ maxfewtrell cmon guys, obviously i’m the favorite uncle
⤷ charles_leclerc no
alexandrasaintmleux cutie boy 💙
♥︎ by author & yn
carmenmmundt Mathéo is the cutest 🥰
♥︎ by author & yn
lewishamilton A gift from God ♥️
♥︎ by author & yn
alex_albon bro has more hair then me
♥︎ by author & yn
———
march 26th, 2024
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lando.jpg a digital love letter for you, the light of my life. my life long treasure of destiny. you are the greatest gift God has blessed me with. i love you endlessly ♥️
comments for this post have been limited
yn you sweet talker, i love you lan 🤍
⤷ lando.jpg i love you the most baby 🤍
landolovesyn guys…this might be heather
♥︎ by author
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cold-kitty · 2 days
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Due to very, very high demand for part two of my Yan!Mermaid (looks at my notifications and cries), here it is.
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Contains: NSFW, dub-con, same warnings as the last one other than that
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Yan!Mermaid who starts clinging to your leg as you sigh, so happy that you're giving him another chance.
Yan!Mermaid who watches your hand signals and listens to your foreign words, not understanding a thing but tries to listen for your sake.
Yan!Mermaid who forces himself not to straddle you when he sits next to you, his tail swaying slowly behind him.
Yan!Mermaid who watches you fish all day, just enjoying your presence.
Yan!Mermaid who pouts and whines and clings to you when you try to leave. no no no no no! don't leave! i don't wanna be alone! stay with me, i promise to keep you warm!
Yan!Mermaid who tries to climb into the trunk of your car, and somehow manages.
Yan!Mermaid who happily slides out of your truck when you arrive home, smiling wide.
Yan!Mermaid who's surprised when you don't seem happy too. you look mad, but you suck it up and groan.
Yan!Mermaid who doesn't like how you put him in a tank with the fish you caught, he wants to sleep in your bed!
Yan!Mermaid who climbs out of the tank when you're asleep and crawls across the floor to your room, curling up in bed with you.
Yan!Mermaid who lets his mind wander to when he was grinding against you, how good it felt. y-your skin is so w-warm and soft... a-ah...
Yan!Mermaid who is immediately worked up again, pressing himself against you tight.
Yan!Mermaid who lets his hands greedily trail over you, gently squeezing your thighs and watching the flesh bounce back into place.
Yan!Mermaid who hesitantly pulls down your pants. he promises himself that he's just looking, but he can't resist the temptation. s-so pretty...
Yan!Mermaid who starts by squishing the flesh of your ass, watching it jiggle. he continues to do that for a while, almost mesmerized. he loves watching you squirm in your sleep too.
Yan!Mermaid who sticks his fingers in his mouth, sucking on them and getting them wet.
Yan!Mermaid who starts by pushing one finger into you, slowly so he doesn't hurt you. he watches how your unconscious body squirms and reacts to the intrusion.
Yan!Mermaid who slowly pushes another finger into you, but that wakes you up. you look behind you almost immediately, a horrified look on your face.
Yan!Mermaid who expects you to hurt him, staring at you with wide and fearful eyes. he starts moving his fingers nonetheless, hoping that it might calm you down, twisting and curling them with slight hesitation. oh please don't hate me! you're just so irresistible!
Yan!Mermaid who watches as your body starts to quiver softly, your head falling back into the pillow. you were giving up to the pleasure, even if reluctantly.
Yan!Mermaid who feels encouraged, his fingers thrusting fasted, twisting and curling them to his hearts content. he makes sure to get real close to you so he can hear all of your soft whimpers and moans. a-ah... keep making those sounds... so cute...
Yan!Mermaid who keeps this up until you cum, and oh my God is he so happy. he watches as you convulse softly, pulling his fingers out and licking them. he doesn't mind if it's nasty if it's you.
Yan!Mermaid who lowers himself down and starts licking up the cum that fell onto the bed.
Yan!Mermaid who pats your back reassuringly as he positions himself behind you, helping you out though the whole thing. stroking your hair, praising you in his language, kissing every inch of your body, going as slow as he can.
Yan!Mermaid who cuddles you the whole night after that, kissing you softly. he's so happy, so fucking happy. he finally got to mate with you like a real lover, even if it was only one short round.
(BONUS NSFW: Yan!Mermaid definitely does analingus, %100. Yan!Mermaid puts your needs and wants before his, if he wants to go fast and you want to go slow he goes slow. he hates seeing you in crying, so he refuses to overstimulate you, nothing rough or degrading, and he doesn't dare leave marks on you. Yan!Mermaid AFTERCARE, SO MUCH OF IT.)
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Does anyone know how mermaid dick works? Like honestly, how. Is it in the tail? Just hanging out there? HOW!?
~🐈‍⬛
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patscorner · 2 days
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FAMILY DINNER
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Summary: Chris joins your family for dinner for the first time and it does not go as planned
Tw: Swearing, narcissistic dad, verbal arguing, panic attack mentions of alcohol use, mentions of ed(NO DETAIL), lmk if I missed something
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"Baby, it'll be fine. I'm sure they're not so bad." Chris spoke. It was 6:45, and you and Chris were heading to a family dinner. After you and him had started dating, him, his brothers, and your family have been begging to meet one another.
But you knew better. You knew your dad couldn't hold his tongue, and you knew your mom couldn't hold back her comments about how you sat, how you spoke, how you looked. You knew your brothers and your sisters knew how to mess with you, not enough to make you cry, but just enough to piss you off.
"Chris, you have no idea." You say, leg bouncing nervously as you both sat in the back seat of the van. You only agreed to go if Matt and Nick came with, knowing that Chris wasn't going to be able to keep his temper in check.
"Don't worry, y/n, it'll be okay. It's not like any of us are gonna provoke them. They don't have any reason to hate us." Matt chimed in from the drivers seat. Chris squeezed your thigh reassuringly.
"It's not you guys that I'm worried about." You muttered, biting your nails. You just hoped your dad didn't have much to drink tonight.
"Plus, we're youtubers, a little back handed comment isn't gonna affect us." Nick smiled triumphantly.
Boy, were they in for a treat.
____
After what felt like 2 minutes, Matt parked the car in front of your childhood home. You've dreaded this moment ever since you and Chris started dating. You knew the time would come, but you just ignored it and pushed it back as far as you could. But eventually, everyone became impatient, and you were pushed out of your comfort zone.
Chris wasn't prepared. None of them were because nothing could prepare them for what they were getting into. Growing up with 2 older brothers, a younger brother, and 2 younger sisters, you knew just how quick it could turn hostile. You knew how it could be peaceful one moment, and the next, 2 people are driving off, 3 are crying, and one is smashing plates.
It could get ugly quick. Mostly, you were able to hide most of your family troubles from Chris, only occasionally giving him bits and pieces. This was completely different. This was a full view of what and where you grew up, and if anything was off or revealed, Chris would be there to see. That scared the shit out of you.
And Chris knew that, so he didn't push, no matter how eager he was. He never pushed you to do anything that made you uncomfortable. This, though, meant a lot to him, so he did voice his opinion.
So here you were, standing outside of the home you grew up in, with your boyfriend and his triplet brothers. You take a deep breath before knocking.
Here we go.
You lean back into Chris, who's hand found home around your waist, squeezing gently. He kissed the crown of your head, whispering, "Relax, baby, we got this."
You nod as you hear the lock turn and the door open. Your oldest brother, Peter, who was 26, stood in front of you. He looked much different from the last time you'd seen him, which was like 2 years ago.
Last time you two were together was at Christmas when your dad decided to get plastered the morning of Christmas and destroyed everyone's presents. Thousands of dollars down the drain. You swallowed at the memory.
"C'mere kid." Was all Peter said before engulfing you into a long needed hug.
You melted into your brothers touch. "It's been too long. Way too long." You mumble against his chest.
When you pull away, you see tears in Peter's eyes. You slap his chest playfully, "Oh, you big baby, don't cry."
He laughs, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes. You laugh and hold his hand.
Nick clears his throat, bringing your and Peter's attention to the three same face boys.
"Oh! Yeah, Peter, meet my boyfriend, Chris, and his older brothers, Matt and Nick." You say, moving out of the way for the men to exchange greetings and hand shakes.
"I'd like to apologize in advance, I'm definitely gonna have trouble telling you guys apart." Peter laughs.
"Oh, don't worry about it. It happens all the time." Matt reassures. Nick and Chris nod in agreement.
"Okay, well, Dad's at the store - thank God -" He interrupted himself, putting his hands together and looking up, earning a chuckle from you, "but everyone else, excluding Cam, is here."
Your heart drops at his sentence. Your second oldest brother, Cameron, hadn't been to a family gathering since he moved out. You can't say you blame him, knowing your family, you wish you'd had the heart to leave too. It was still disappointing, despite how much you understood. Cam and you had always been the closest growing up, and your heart ached, knowing the rest of your family ruined that bond for you two. You and him were only 2 years apart, him being 22, and you being 20.
You knew you shouldn't have expected him to magically appear, but you were hopeful.
"That's okay. Let's go inside, I want them to meet the rest of the dumbasses." You say, trying to hide the disappointment, and it mostly worked, but when you turned around, you knew Chris knew.
He always knew.
You smiled at him and grabbed his hand, leading him into your house, gesturing Matt and Nick to follow.
Peter leads everyone down the hallway, the sound of playful yelling sounding from the living room. Peter took a left, walking into the room, smiling widely.
"Guess who's here!" He says happily, turning around to you, who stands in the doorway, smiling widely.
James, Maya, and Julia, your younger siblings, looked up and smiled widely.
"Y/nnnn!" Maya yelled, getting up and hugging you tightly. "Woah! Hey, hi baby." You say, smiling into her head.
Maya was the youngest, at 11 years old. She was the peacemaker, no matter how demanding, she probably had the best communication skills out of everyone. Which is saying something, she's 11.
"Alright, alright, save some for us." You look up and see your youngest brother, James, standing next to Julia, waiting their turn for a hug.
You let go of Maya and walk over to the 15 year old twins and embrace them tightly. God, how you missed them. This hug was shorter, only because your mother spoke up.
"Well, finally! What took you guys so long?" She asked, rolling her eyes. You break the hug, sighing heavily.
"Hi, mom. I'm happy to see you, too. Uh, this is Chris and his triplet brothers, Matt and Nick." You say, lifting your hand, gesturing towards the three men.
You smile as your siblings exchange greetings with the triplets, just as Peter did, happy that they were in a good mood. You turn back to your mom, who has a strange look on her face.
"What?" You ask, confused, sitting down on the couch next to her. "I thought you were only bringing your boyfriend? Or are you dating all three?"
Your eyes shoot to hers, a look of disgust covering your face. "What-Mom, no! Matt's talking to someone and Nick..." You cut yourself off, debating whether or not telling you mom about Nick's sexuality. It's not that your mom was homophobic, she just wasn't exactly open to it. You knew that if you told her, she'd figure out a way to make an untimely and out of pocket comment about it.
"Nick...?" Your mom gestures you to continue speaking.
You open your mouth to speak, but you hear the front door open. Oh shit. The party has started.
"Dad's here!" Maya shouts, running to the door. Chris sat down on the couch next to you, Matt and Nick next to him.
You notice Nick talking to Julia about her favorite music artists, and it looks like their having a good time. Peter and Matt seem to be getting along, while Chris and James talk about the most recent Celtics game.
Despite all the calm conversations going on around you, you can't help but feel nervous. Your dad's here, which puts everyone, at least on your side, on high alert, making sure they tiptoe on their words.
Chris notices you tense up and place his hand on your thigh, which you reach and squeeze his hand, not for his sake, but for yours.
Your dad walks in and freezes for a moment. It was a long moment, long enough for everyone to notice his presence and get silent. You and him stare at each other, not breaking eye contact for a minute.
Finally, after the deafening silence, you decide to speak. "Hey, dad." You breathe.
His shocked face turns into a soft smile. "Hey, kiddo, c'mere." You smile softly, cherishing the peace while it lasts. You stand up and walk over to your dad and embrace him. You knew what he was capable of, but you also knew how much he loved you and your siblings.
You could be mad at him all you wanted, but he's still your dad. "I missed you, y/n." He mutters into your head. You smile into his chest because as much as you hated to admit it, you missed him too. When he wasn't drunk or being an ass, he was a pretty awesome person.
You pull away, and he kisses your cheek before gesturing to the audience behind you. "And who are these fine gentlemen?" He asked.
You smiled. "That one's Chris, my boyfriend, and those are his triplet brothers, Nick and Matt." You say, gesturing to the boys, who wave as their introduced.
"Nice to meet you all, especially you, Chris." He smiles sarcastically. Here we go.
Suddenly, his demeanor changed. His shoulders tensed, and his fist clenched. You look at him curiously and wonder what flipped the switch, what pissed him off this time.
Chris smiles kindly. "Nice to meet you, too, sir."
Your dad nods before glancing at you and looking up again. "Dinner should be ready. How's everyone feel about spaghetti?" He clapsed his hands together.
He earns a collective 'yes' from everyone before picking up Maya in his arms and carrying her to the kitchen. Everyone stands up and begins to follow, except for you and Chris. He grabs your hand and pulls you closer to him.
"You okay, ma?" He asked. He must've noticed your demeanor change from happy and cheery to suspicious and confusion.
You nod your head hesitantly, still thinking about how quickly your father changed his mind about being kind. "Uh... yeah, yeah, I'm okay." You say softly.
He looks at you curiously. "Are you sure?" You nod again. "Yeah, let's go eat."
____
Quiet chatter amongst the families began at the dinner table, after everybody had gotten food. You noticed your anxiety seemingly grow stronger as the dinner continued. Nothing had happened yet, and that's what scared you.
Your leg bounced under the table, and despite Chris's attempts to soothe you by rubbing your thigh, nothing seemed to work. Even Chris's touch seemed to be too much, too overwhelming.
You feel your breathing catch in your throat, and suddenly, the gentle chatter becomes too overwhelming. The scraping of the forks echoed loudly in your ears as your hands started to sweat.
You stand up abruptly, catching the attention of all three triplets and James.
"Excuse me." You muttered before rushing to the bathroom and closing the door.
You curl into a ball, breathing heavily as tears fall from your eyes. You weren't having a panic attack yet, but if you didn't get your breathing in check, you'd get one soon.
You list off things in your head, things that make you happy. Sunshine, Chris, dogs in clothes, Chris, Sour Patch Kids, Chris
Speaking of which, you hear the door open, and you force yourself to look up, seeing your loving boyfriend. He got down on your level, taking your hand and putting it on his chest.
You catch on quickly, taking breaths that match his, well, kinda. Yours are shakier, but you're getting there. "It's okay, baby, you're okay. Shhh.." Chris whispers, his other hand rubbing your back.
You sigh as you finally take a deep breath of air, leaning your head against Chris's shoulder as he hands rub shapes on your back.
"It's okay, baby, you're stressing yourself out. It'll be okay." He whispers as he stands up and pulls you up with him.
He embraces you once again as you sniffle into his hoodie. You pull back and wipe your face aggressively, laughing quietly.
Chris cups your face, wiping your tears before pressing a kiss so soft, it was almost ghostlike, on your lips. You smile at him.
"Thank you, baby." You say rubbing his bicep in appreciation. He smiles down at you, kissing your forehead. "Of course, baby. I love you. Are you ready?"
You nod, and Chris opens the door, hand in yours as you all walk back into the dining room. Most conversations continued, but you noticed your dad and mom talking quietly amongst themselves, and it didn't look pleasant.
Your dad's eyes shoot to yours as he chuckles darkly.
Fuck. This can't end well.
"And what the fuck were you two doing?"
You smile, trying to swallow your fear. You notice Chris squeeze your hand, and you squeezed back in reassurance.
"Just had to take a breather. It's all good now, though, don't worry." You say as you and Chris sit down. You hope it's enough to satisfy your dad's curiosity, but unfortunately it's not.
"So you and him didn't just fuck in the bathroom." You freeze. Every conversation stops immediately at those words, as he wasn't quiet about it.
"What- dad, no. Why would you say that?" You sputter as a pink hue comes over your face. You glance at Chris, who's just as shocked as you.
"Sir, I'd never do that, especially here." Chris says calmly, but you can tell that one comment pissed him off completely.
Your dad stares at you both as a silence covers the room like a weighted blanket. Just when the tension seems to reach its peak, your dad speaks up.
"Good. Now, let's eat." He says, passing the food to you.
Jesus, this is gonna be a long night.
______________________________
Part 2 is coming soon.
@sturnioloblogs @y0urm4m @sturniolosmind @thenickgirl @muwapsturniolo @matthewsmocktailss-deactivated2 @breeloveschris @worldlxvlys @freshloveforthefit @miloisdone1 @vanteguccir @annamcdonalds67 @freshsturns @rootbeerworshiper @matty-bear @orangelala
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elusivemoon · 2 days
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⋆˙⟢ YEARNING OBSERVING YEARNING.
satoru has been gone for three months thus far and you're at the end of your rope with missing him.
f!reader ⊹ no curses, idol au ⊹ fluff. angst with a happy ending. established/long-distance relationship ⊹ 5.2k ⊹ satoru is a wildly successful/famous idol. footnote. a thing i was gonna toss forever but did this with instead.
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you know that this is his dream, but the loneliness you’re constantly left to face is becoming genuinely unbearable. long distance dynamics are not at all for the faint of heart. there are days when the video calls are all you long for, seeing his adorable face filling up the screen and smiling at you quite lovingly. then, there are days like today when, for a brief, fleeting moment, you consider breaking things off with the love of your life ꒰ and one of the most famous men in the world ꒱, gojo satoru.
it starts with the fact that your friend gets married and you have to go to the wedding all alone because you don’t have a date. your date is busy traveling the world, entertaining the masses, making women everywhere fawn and fall head over heels in love with him. the entirety of the event, you feel out of place with no one to dance with who isn’t a very seedy family member of the wedding party or a friend of yours who came with their own date and can’t act as your stand-in. so you opt to sit at a table alone, drinking your weight in roscato, staring at an open text thread because satoru read your message telling him how hard this was getting for you eleven hours prior but never responds. it hurts. it’s the fact that you nearly always end up doing things like this alone. times and events where you would, can, or should bring a plus one and yours is actually able to attend with you is seldom. rarities. so painfully sporadic. it’s too hard doing the thing of being in love without being able to do the things of being in love. date nights out on the town? forget it, unless he takes you on an impromptu trip out of the country that’s so unplanned there’s no chance of you both being bombarded by the general public. paris is gorgeous. rome is phenomenal. america is a dizziness of diversity. but who wants to constantly have to pack up to take a thirteen-hour flight or longer for a three-hour date? it’s unnecessarily inconvenient. having a shoulder to cry on? not practical for his schedule. not practical for all the time zones that pack so tightly between you both that his mornings become your late evenings. his downtime is the peak of your busyness. you can only seem to synchronize free time in passing. nothing too long. nothing solid. nothing consistent. nothing secure. nothing remotely reassuring. for you, the foundation of the relationship is crumbling. satoru travels the world with his friends, endlessly doted on by his adoring fans, seeing new sights and forging new moments to reminisce fondly over in the future. but you? you’re stuck at home, stuck at your job that you hate so much and don’t even need but have anyway because working a job you hate is somehow still better than sitting at home with little yuuji and missing the boisterous laughter of your lover strolling through the house for months on end. agonizing ghosts of him singing frank sinatra in the hallway because he ‘loves the acoustics right there’ taunting and haunting you, not comforting in the least. everything is starting to always hurt.
12:22 am. you: i know you’re probably busy, but when you get time, we really, really need to talk about us.
teary-eyed and pouting, you stumble into your bedroom, a little yuuji trotting beside you as you drop your removed heels right at the entry of the bedroom door before slipping into the closet to undress. satoru hates when you do it, leave your shoes lying about, but once again, he’s not here to gripe at you about it or even to ask you to pick them back up. the house is always so empty and eerily quiet these days. everything always is. the house. the other side of the line when you do manage to get in touch with him. your heart. your willingness. the hope that keeps you in this for three years already. it’s all emptied out and vacant.
you just keep thinking about how this isn’t how you want to spend your life: not having a date to events with your friends, only sleeping next to him for a quarter of the year in total, getting by on facetime calls and those two-week periods that he’s allowed to be completely free, coping with still having to share him in that time, and worst of all, getting left on read to a text telling him how hard this is becoming. it’s becoming too much for you, and you know you need to tell him now or you’ll stay by his side, buried under the weight of your resentment. despite his routine absence, he doesn’t deserve that. satoru’s a wonderful man. the kindest one. the most earnest. the strongest. the most innocent. satoru is a good man — a good man who deserves the truth about where missing him is forcing you to stand. you text him again, the need to talk to him becoming borderline desperate.
12:26 am. you: i haven’t heard your voice in two days. i haven’t heard from you at all today. please. can you step away and call me for just a minute? 12:31 am. satoru: really busy right now baby. i was gonna text back as soon as we were done here. m’sorry. been on the move all day. we’ll talk soon i promise. i know you’re having a hard time. i’m trying to get done asap so we can talk. please don’t give up on me.
the last part of his text sends your tears spilling over your waterline. you find yourself sitting down on the floor of the closet in the beautiful gown he paid hundreds for just so you can attend a wedding alone. just so you can be spoken for but live like you’re not because you always get left on your own. you don’t want to give up on him. you don’t want to throw away a whole three years of building even this small, fragment of a life together, but this…this is agonizing. you’re miserable. not with him, but with the distance between you whose presence feels more permanent and more familiar than satoru’s.
12:34 am. you: i’m lonely, satoru. i miss you. i’m not handling all of this well right now. i’m having doubts. serious doubts. i just…we really have to talk, okay? i need you to make time for us to do that tonight. 12:40 am. satoru: baby…angel…are you about to leave me? because i won’t accept it. i won’t agree to you leaving me.
what does he mean he won’t accept it? you aren’t aware that you both can simply protest or completely disregard the verbs the other wans to perform that you don’t like, and why does he get to do so when he’s already left you?
12:41 am. satoru: you know you’re my angel, right? my everything? i love you so fucking much. i know the distance sucks right now, but we’ve gone longer, yeah? it’s been worse but we’ve made it every time, baby. please don’t leave. not like this. give me time. 12:45 am. you: time? is three years not enough? what am i supposed to do? i’m tired of crying every single day. all day. all because i can’t see you. i haven’t spoken to you. you stopped telling me good morning everyday weeks ago so i don’t even wake up to your affection. i can’t get you to answer your phone. i’m just here. taking care of the house and yuuji while you live your greatest life without me by your side. you don’t even need me.
that was the last text he was willing to exchange before he calls you. when you refuse to answer, he calls again. and again. and again.
1:18 am. satoru: answer the phone baby. let’s talk about this okay? love you so much. please pick up.
your stomach flips and you curse yourself because you’re in the starting stages of initiating the end of an era but you’re getting butterflies because he calls you baby, because he says he loves you, because he more than loves you. how can you confidently leave a man who can be thousands of miles away yet still make you feel like this? you’re uncertain if you’re ready for right now and what’s likely to occur or follow. because you say the words and you realize upon sending them that you aren’t angry. you aren’t yelling at him. you’re just stating the truth. you mean it. he doesn’t need you.
the truth is you’re not a priority for him right now because you can’t be. you accepted it for all this time, but thinking about marriage and real life together, you don’t know if you want to build a future with a man who cannot prioritize building a future with you. this much is on you, on your indulgent heart who wanted to kow the taste of his adoration despite knowing the obstacles that come in tow. you met him at a time when he was in the dead center of building a future for himself, and because of his job, you don’t have the luxury of being part of it. his company is vehemently against publicizing your relationship, especially now, especially when everything is so fragile and uncertain in the coming years, especially when satoru is just started inching towards his peak. the craziest part of it all is that neither of you wants to ‘publicize it’ with intention, but you want to go places together, like normal adults who’re dating, and if you guys are seen together then…oh well? but they’re against a single soul knowing you even exist in his world. they’re against you ever being seen at events, behind the scenes, anywhere during his tours. you have to stay at home, out of sight, out of the media, out of his management’s way of making him a star. to them, the rumors are bad enough. mitigating the media on the possibility satoru is dating openly is a headache to deal with let alone an actual, sustained relationship they’d likely have to keep mitigating the media over? it’s nothing personal for management, just business. what future would you guys be able to have like this?
1:23 am. satoru: i’m begging you please answer the phone. please talk to me. don’t give up on us. i miss you too baby. so let’s talk. answer the phone and spend time with me.
so when your phone rings again, ‘mister gojo 🐻’ in big, bold letters on the screen looking like his final plea, you sigh and answer morosely. sniffling, you greet him. “hey,” “angel…angel, you’re killing me.” a deep, shaky sigh. “baby, what's going on in your head right now? fuck. leaving me? us?” the background is quite noisy and his volume is muffled by the array of sounds behind him: the indistinct chatter of all the others lingering wherever he is, a series of beeping and automated speech over an intercom, the sounds of scraping and rolling and static. it’s so distracting, but he calls you even though it’s horrendously inconvenient. you know it’s because you present a very serious, critical concern in your relationship that he seems to not have been expecting. he says immediately, his voice cracking. “i’m sorry i haven’t talked to you, angel. i am. i couldn’t.”   it breaks your heart to hear him sound so wounded by your words, but it’s how you’re feeling about it all. you wipe at your eyes. “i’m in my head because that’s the only place to be. i spend 85% of my time at home entertaining myself when i’m not working. everyone has things to do that don’t include me, and that’s…that’s fine, but feeling lonely when you’re not even alone is torture.” “we’re supposed to be upfront about stuff like this, not let it get so bad that you're ready to go.” you hear him sniffle on the other side.
it doesn’t anger you, but it is frustrating. you’ve been trying to get in contact with him and talk about the difficulties you’re facing with his absence for days, but it’s either interviews or rehearsals, performances or photoshoots. there’s never even little slivers of time for you. even when he’s getting hair and makeup done, the stylists say he’s too distracted and it’s making applying his makeup harder. his members hate when he tries to talk while they’re all shuffled together traveling. and management gives not even a speckle of a fuck about him having time for you every day. there’s never any time to talk about it. you scoff. “i’ve been trying to for the last few days. you’re always too busy. you don’t text me back. you don’t pick up the phone anymore, baby.” you present the last part as a quiet sorrow. there’s no frustration behind it, only the part of you who’s desperately trying to keep your relationship intact despite all the distance that’s constantly forged between your yearning bodies, and failing.
“you’re supposed to tell me before, baby. like along the way. before it gets so overwhelming that you’re ready to leave me and throw away my entire heart when i’m literally trying to get home to you. before all of that.” you cover your mouth to hold back the sound of your own cries, forcing sniffles and tiny hiccups in the place of moaning and wailing. your vision becomes blurry and fills up with shimmering tears, because satoru is very openly, very audibly crying — small sobs and whimpers between his speech. “who said i don’t need you? who said that?” he asks, voice broken and fearful. “if i didn’t need you, i wouldn’t cry like a fucking baby at night because you’re not with me. i feel sick inside missing you. wishing you were here with me. wishing i could give you a normal fucking relationship, but i’m not in a normal position. you knew that. i told you. i begged you not to give up on me if you were agreeing to do this with me. you said forever and now you’re trying to take it back? no. i don’t accept that. i won’t. so what do i need to do to keep you? what will it take?” “satoru…please…” “no. there’s no please. tell me what i need to do to keep you. because honestly, angel, you’re ripping my fucking heart to shreds right now. we have to figure this out. there’s no way in hell i’m letting you walk away from us.” he sniffs, weak cries still flowing into the phone, painting every crevice of your heart in a shade of aching. “there’s no walking away from us, baby. okay?” your lower lip trembles, overwhelmed by his determination to keep you. maybe you’re wrong about not being a priority. “i’m sorry, satoru. i just…this has been so fucking hard. and then i went to the wedding all on my own. again. and everyone just keeps asking why you never show up with me anywhere. again. it just…it got to me really bad this time. it’s so hard. being completely and utterly taken but having to live practically single because your partner can’t be there. i miss you, satoru. i’m lonely.” “baby, i understand. i get it. i feel that way, too, you know?” his voice is soft, warm even, trying to maintain a sense of calmness, compassion, and love. “it’s hard for me, too.” “is it?” you question very seriously. “because every time i see clips of you from your shows on ig or tiktok, you look like you’re having the time of your life. smiling from ear to ear. being surrounded by so much love that it doesn’t seem to matter to have mine.” he squeaks but then goes silent. you hear the opening of a door and the harsh closing behind it, all the background noise falling completely silent. you hear that he’s still crying at the softest volume he can manage. when he speaks, his voice is softly appalled, brittle, threatening to crumble at any moment.
“how can you say that? how can you suggest you’re the only one in this having a brutal fucking time without the love of their life? because i smile for cameras and for my fans? because i want the people who paid hundreds of dollars just to see me to feel like they got the best version of me so they don’t feel disappointed? you’re taking that and measuring it to missing you? as if i don’t periodically call you in tears from how badly i wanna be with you? as if i don’t tell you how much i love touring but it’s a goddamn depressing time for my personal life because it means leaving my little family behind. you and yuuji. how can you say that? you can’t be here with me. i’m all yours and stuck being far away for so long. you don’t get to come to company banquets or award ceremonies to be there for me, with me. when i win anythig, i have to get on stage and fight back my fucking tears because the one person i want to see looking back at me and thank for believing in me can’t be there with me. it kills me. it fucking destroys me inside. don’t tell me it’s not hard for me.”
upon hearing his words, there’s now a thick blanket of guilt covering the top of your sadness, feeling more like it’s suffocating you. you haven’t thought of it that way, from his perspective, haven’t even considered the amount of events he attends alone. he’s with his friends and members, sure, but times and events where he would, can, or should bring a plus one and his is actually able to attend is…never. for you, his presence is seldom. it’s rare, but it is. whereas with him, your attendance is entirely nonexistent. not because you want it that way. not for a lack of trying on your part. “i…you’re right…i can’t say that. it’s not fair.” you admit quietly, voice low and lightly ashamed of the words you say and his experience you disregard. “i’m sorry for saying that to you, satoru.” “let’s just get through this, okay? no apologies. i just want to keep you, and i can’t get off this phone until i know i am.” he sniffles hard. “i love you, angel. you know that, right? you know you’re not in this alone, yeah? we’re in it together.” tears still silently flowing, you respond tenderly. “i know you love me, satoru. i love you, too. but…are you even happy like this? don’t you want more than this?” “what more is there to want? i have exactly what i want and exactly what i need. and both of those things are you. of course, i wish you could be there and be here with me, but i know you’re supporting me no matter what. it pushes me to do my best every time. getting to see you after is the highlight of those evenings. skipping after parties to come crawl into bed with you is my favorite pastime.” you don’t say anything iat first. you just wonder where to even go from here. he says breaking up isn’t an option. he says he’s going to stay on the phone until he knows he’s keeping you. he says he’s fine with things as they are, even if they hurt you both, because he has you, and it’s worth the sacrifice. you feel the same way; you do. and maybe for a split second, you just forget, become too jaded by the heaviness of feeling like you’ve been isolated and abandoned. but you recall quite vividly that you told him after the first year together that there’s no separating for you both. only forever and working it out. no forfeiting, only fighting tooth and nail to make it work. “what do i need to do, baby?” he asks, much softer, much more loving. “how can i keep you by my side?” the kaleidoscope of butterflies swarm you. the way it feels, it’s like your heart is free falling, diving to find him and be drowned in all his devotion. “i…i..” you sigh, shaky and defeated. “nothing…nothing at all, satoru. i’m here. i’m sorry. i’m sorry for all of this.” “just needing me?” he asks, his voice small and raspy, teeming with all of his longing. “because…i’m just needing you, too. and it hurts a lot.” although he can’t see, you nod in agreement. it does hurt a lot, a whole fucking lot. your quivering lip and tear-filled eyes can attest to that much. “yeah,” your fragile voice falls as a whisper. “m’just needing you so bad. and it hurts that you’re not here.” “m’on my way, okay? i’ll be home soon.” he promises. “just wait for me. give me a little more time. please, angel. just hold out a little longer for me.” “yeah…okay…okay. i’ll hold out.” you promise. “i miss you.” a sniffle and a declaration. “we won’t have to miss each other for much longer.” in the background, you hear him returning to all the noise. inwardly, you sigh. there’s always something distracting, always something in the way of you both being able to submerge into your time together fully. you both just got over a small hurdle that threatened to end in you leaving this house and the life you made with him inside of it. “it’s so fucking loud in here.” he grumbles. you hum, agreeing. “where are you even?” “airport,” he answers calmly. “connecting flight.”
when he says it, you aren’t sure why it makes you start to cry all over again. maybe because you know it means he’s still gone. he’s still so far away, and he’s not coming home soon. he still has more work to do, more promises to his fans to fulfill, and more time he owes them all. he’s on a connecting flight and probably didn’t anticipate having this conversation right now. he probably planned to be asleep, but he ends up reconciling having to go to their next show utterly heartbroken. “off to your next stop?” you ask, sniffling and continuing to wipe your tears. “yeah…yeah i am. my last one, actually.” he says. “my last flight for a very fucking long time, i hope.” this makes you smile, him talking about coming home, him talking about anything other than being gone for longer than the three months he’s already been. “where’s your last stop?” he chuckles. “i suppose we’ll find out soon enough.” “what? is it like some secret show they didn’t tell you guys about?” you ask him, confused by his response. he hums his uncertainty. “that’s fucking weird.” “yeah, a bit. but, baby…are we good?” he asks timidly. “you’re still mine?” you look down at your knees curled up to your chest, dejection filling up your existence, because you know as soon as you give him the answer he wants, he’ll be off, leaving you on your own again. still, you murmur, “yeah…yeah, i’m still yours.” “good,” he breathes. “no takebacks.” you giggle. “okay,” “promise?” “yeah, baby, i promise.” he sighs his relief. “you had me freaking out, baby. you had me fucking losing it. the thought of you leaving? coming home but it’s not to you? just yuuji and the house we picked together? all our pictures on the wall? i was gonna have a meltdown.” “i’m sorry.” in the closet still, you stand to your feet, finally finding the energy to get up and change into clothes you can sleep in. that’s all you want to do now: go to sleep so you can stop thinking about all of this, so you can have a few hours where missing him isn’t plaguing your existence and stealing the air in lungs, a few hours where his absence isn’t like a chisel to an ice block on your resolve. “no apologies.” his gentle reminder. “no walking away.” your soft agreemet. “i know, baby.” “only loving bear forever.” he added. “only staying by his side.” you nodded, a smile reshaping your lips that sunk into a melancholic pout. “only loving bear forever. and staying by bear’s side.” “i love you, angel. i have to go, but get some rest. it’s late there. and i just know you left your shoes in the doorway. please pick them up. it’s so unsanitary and yuuji is already a little vacuum for random particles.” much to your surprise, you laugh. “how could you possibly know that?” “because you’re my honey and i know you.” you roll your eyes at him, still smiling fondly, heart bursting with reminders of why it’s him. why you chose him, why you were willing to do the hard part for all this time, why there’s no walking away, why there’s only loving him forever and staying by his side. “of course a bear would be quite familiar with his honey.” you note, nodding as you undress. “you get some rest, too. i love you so much.” “you better love me back.” he grumbled. “goodnight, angel. i love you, too. so, so much.” when the call ends, you find yourself crestfallen, succumbing to all the waves of indubitable despondency. here you are, alone again. ending your night alone again, laying on his side of the bed that doesn’t even smell like him anymore because he’s been a ghost to the egyptian cotton for months, alone again. you change into a big shirt, one of his, because if you can’t have him then you’ll cling to all of the belongings he leaves behind.
you find yourself observing the whole room as you saunter to your overly-sized and overwhelmingly empty bed. there’s pictures everywhere along the walls, all of memories you both have made in the last three years, all a display of the fondness that’s accumulated between you both in all this time, a quilt of attachment you both weave in love together.
he’s right, truly, there’s no walking away. not when every thread of your lives is tangled and stitched together, not when those tangles and stitches are the very seams of who you both are: part of each other. you lay in bed filled with regret about what’s happened, because even though he seems happy that he isn’t losing you, you worry he would start to have doubts of his own now that you’d basically threatened to leave him. does that mean it’ll be on the table for him in the future? when you fall asleep that night, weepy and emotional, a dark cloud of impending doom looming over your head, you wonder why he can’t be there. why can’t you both be together without anything or anyone in the way? the next morning, you wake up groaning because yuuji’s zooming through the house, barking at the top of his baby lungs and you’ve had enough already. how can a creature that hardly weighs 10lbs emit such sounds and project them so loudly? you pull another pillow over your face to drown out the sound. there’s no way it isn’t incredibly early, so yuuji’s behavior is quite honestly disrespectful. “yuu, please.” you whine, pulling blankets over your head. “let mommy sleep.” what alarms you then is the shuffling in the hallway you hear and you spring up, heart racing in your chest thinking that someone’s gotten in and that’s why yuuji’s having a conniption. unsure of what to do, because you have neither weapons nor burglar-combat strength, you decide to crouch down beside the bed, contemplating whether or not you should go ahead and try to wedge yourself underneath it. you aren’t expecting anyone. satoru is god knows where. the only other people with a key are his two best friends outside of his members and parents, but all of those people call before showing up. yuuji’s barking turns into whining, and the voice that coos his name sends your heart clambering up into your throat. “aww, did you miss daddy?” satoru coos in the hallway right outside the bedroom door. “i missed you, too, bud. let’s go see if your mom missed me as much as she says she does.” upon hearing his voice, realizing it’s him and he’s home, you rise to your feet so fast, you nearly fall right back down to the floor. you squeak trying to catch your steps. when you look up, your favorite boy is standing in the doorway to your bedroom, looking at you with a lazy grin spanninng his lips, a huge duffle on his shoulders that he drops immediately upon seeing you. of course, your sobbing and blubbering is instantaneous. “you’re home?” you ask, lips set into a deep pout. “really home?” he nods, ardent eyes melting at the sight of you. “angel, get over here.” and you do. you go around the bed carefully because you have a horrible habit of running into things and you shoot straight for his arms that are wide open and waiting, ready to receive you urgently and without hesitation, scooping you up while your legs wrap around him and your arms go around his shoulders. he’s home. he’s home. he’s home. “why didn’t you tell me?” you ask, so angry and so grateful at the same time. “oh my god, i almost broke up with you on your way fucking home?” the sob you release makes him chuckle, becoming teary-eyed himself.
“i missed you so fucking much. i knew i was coming home early to surprise you. i almost spoiled every-fucking-thing when you tried to leave me.” he told you, hot tears spilling out his eyes. “i didn’t answer for all that time because i was on a twelve-hour flight, baby. we literally had landed to catch our connect. i…baby, i got so scared i was about to come home to an empty house. i got your texts and my fucking heart dropped.” now, he’s moving you both toward your bed. you cradle his cheeks in the palms of your hands, apologetic eyes peering at him. when his eyes meet yours again, you both pause, realizing your irises are merely reflections of the other’s, yearning observing yearning. 
“you have two seconds to kiss me before i devour you.” he warns. “hurry, your bear is ready to hibernate.” “bear doesn’t want a taste of honey beforehand?” you ask seductively. giggling, you close the distance between your mouths, elation and eagerness being traded between breaths. this is truly all you want, all you cried on the closet floor for — a kiss and a halcyon sigh, two arms around you, and sinking into the future you both promised. he grins, a shake of the head, “when bear wakes up, it’ll be spring, and he’s going to eat his fill of honey then.”
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ruefortherealm · 2 days
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The Way I Loved You
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➸ synopsis: he is your best friend, and yet, everything hurts when a certain Baratheon girl comes to your lives and Aemond starts neglecting you.
➸ word count: 7.95k (she’s long but worth it)
➸ warnings: 18+ mdni! Smut, p in v, best friends to lovers, angst, love confession, inspired by Taylor Swift’s song, fingering, oral (F! Receiving), fluff, happy ending, Floris Baratheon, supportive Targtower family, mentions of Otto, Aemond is a bit of an ass at some point, creampie, nicknames (Sugar & Freckles). English isn’t my first language<3
➸ an: ohh so I don’t know if you remember or not, but this was one of the first posts on my blog! But anyway, I hope you enjoy it because I LOVE it especially when I turned the lyrics into my fave scene from this fic! Enjoy, reblog and tell me your opinion!
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“Aem, I can’t find you,”
You look around the airport, groaning when you can’t find him. The coffee in your hand is long forgotten as you search for him, sighing in defeat when you can’t spot his tall frame.
“I am outside, silly girl,” he says over the phone, chuckling when he hears your frustrated whine.
“Couldn’t you say it from the start? I have been looking for you forever!” You make your way to the exit, dropping your cold coffee in the trash on your way out.
“And miss on how you would curse me for wasting your coffee? Never, you know me better.” He replies, waiting for you to find him.
“I thought I was the teasing one, Mr. Targ, not the other way around.” 
“Call me Mr. Targ once more and I’ll leave you here,” he threatens playfully, “you know better than to mess with me, Sugar,”
“You won’t do such a thing,” 
You spot his significant white hair and his leather jacket instantly, smiling to yourself, heart hammering in your chest.
“How are you so sure?”
“Because you just love me too much, Aem,” 
He turns around at the sound of your voice, grinning when he sees you. He ends the call, opening his arms for you when you run towards him, picking you up and twirling you around as if you weigh nothing.
“Missed you, Aem, missed you so fucking much,” you say, hiding your face in the crook of his neck as he held you up by your thighs.
“Missed you too, sugar. Even Vhagar misses you,” 
“Targaryens and naming their vehicles,” you roll your eyes playfully when he puts you down, faking a pout, “be grateful that I only have a backpack with me and not a big ass luggage.”
“Oh, trust me, Vhagar can handle ten luggages.” He says, handing you a spare helmet, as he puts on his own, his gorgeous sapphire eye hidden behind his dark sunglasses.
“Have you taken any girls on motorbike rides while I was away?” You tease him, expecting him to laugh, but you can see the hesitation in his voice when he answers.
“You know me,” he clears his throat, helping you up on his motorcycle before he sits in front of you, “I can’t woo women, Sugar.”
“Oh, please, you have already wooed me! Don’t underestimate yourself!” 
He chuckles, putting his own helmet on before he starts the motor. You wrap your arms around his torso, resting your head on his back as he starts the ride to their house.
You truly have missed moments like this; so peaceful and comfortable. Aemond has that effect on his closest people, and you consider yourself lucky enough to be his best friend and experience that side of him that is always so open and kind.
It has only been two months since you left to spend time with your parents over the summer break, but even in those two months, you thought of him and updated him on your daily activities — even though Aemond hates using his phone, he always makes an exception for you.
The wind blows, and Aemond swishes between the cars, making you squeal and cling to him more. He laughs genuinely, slowing down a little when he goes up the hill that leads to the entrance of the Targaryen house — not a house, but a mansion that you have grown to love so much since your senior high school year.
The golden gates open, and Aemond rides towards the end of the path to his parking, not trusting anyone with his precious Vhagar.
“Home, sweet home,” he says, running his hand through his wild hair and helping you down from the bike.
“Sweet home indeed,” you say, “Gods, Aem, I don’t think I can move to my dorm after I stay here for a month,”
“Who says I’m letting you stay in those shitty uni rooms? I know King’s Landing’s dormitory is the best in Westeros but no way in hell I would let you go there,” he replies, leading you to the entrance of the house.
“Aem, I can’t stay here! I am a guest, sure, not complaining at all, but I will be studying for two years, and I can’t under any circumstances stay here with your family,” 
A girl opens the door, greeting you before she grabs your bag and tells the two of you that the rest of the family members are in the great hall.
“I will not argue with you to kill the mood, Sugar, but we will have this conversation later.” he looks at you taking off his sunglasses, “Come, they’re waiting for us,”
“I look like shit, Aem,” you groan, smoothing your t-shirt in hopes of looking presentable enough.
“Sugar, you look perfect,” he pats your head and chuckles when you slap his hand away.
“I know Alicent and Hel are wearing something too elegant for a simple lunch and I am here with a gray tee and baggy jeans.” 
“Stop worrying, they have seen you in a much worse situation,” he smirks, pushing the door to the hall open before you have the chance to say something back.
You stop dead in your tracks when you look inside the hall; Daeron is chasing Aegon around, Alicent is sitting behind a desk, concentrating on the task in hand, and Heleana is busy with her needlework in another world — typical Saturday in the Targaryen household.
“Give back my phone, you piece of shit—” “Uh huh, lil bro, not a chance until I see who you are texting—”
“I am so going to murder you—”
Aegon sees you and runs behind you and Aemond, sticking his tongue out for Daeron.
“My dear sister-in-law will save me from the beast,” Aegon says dramatically, waving with Daeron’s phone in his hand.
“Hello to you too, asshole,” you flick his forehead, “And I am not your–”
“Daeron, you little fucker, are you texting Joanna Lannister?” He barks out a laugh, catching Aemond’s attention if he hasn’t had it already with the whole sister-in-law thing, “She is a piece of art. Good job, bro!”
You and Aemond glance at each other before you look at the youngest Targaryen, grinning ear to ear while Aemond smirks.
“Fuck you–”
“Boys, stop,” Alicent says sternly, glaring at the Targaryen men before her expression softens when she sees you, “I wanted to say behave in front of our guest, but you are no longer just our guest, darling,”
“Oh, I missed you so much, Alicent,” 
She pulls you in for a hug, embracing you as if she hasn’t seen you for ages.
“Me too, sweetling,” she says, rubbing your back gently, “I have to call your parents and adopt you myself,”
“She’d already be our sister, Mother,” Aegon says, gesturing at Aemond, who raises a suggestive eyebrow at him, “If only this duty-always-comes-first son of yours hurries the fuck up.”
“Ok, that’s enough, give me back my phone, and let’s have lunch,” Daeron interrupts, snatching his phone from his brother before he drags him to the dining room.
“Good idea,” Aemond says, clearing his throat as he looks around to find Helaena, “Go, Mother, I’ll bring the girls,”
“Just be careful, it’s one of those days again,” Alicent says and leaves.
“We’ve got her,” He replies as he walks to where his sister is sitting, unbothered by her surroundings as she hums to herself.
“Sister,” Aemond calls her gently, standing a few feet away to not scare her.
“Yes?” She doesn’t look up, but you can see the tension fading away from her shoulders.
“Sugar is here,” 
With that, she looks up, smiling broadly when she spots you.
“Hi!” She says, waving at you without standing up from the floor.
“Hey beautiful,” you say, waving back, “wanna have lunch with us?”
“Yes, I would love to,”
“Do you want me to help you?” Aemond asks, stepping forward to help her up but she shakes her head, a little frown on her face as she stands up by herself, maintaining a distance so she wouldn’t touch any of you, her needlework forgotten on the floor.
“Can you go ahead of me?” she fidgets with her fingers, looking at you in anticipation.
“Of course, come on, Sugar,”
He extends his hand, and you take it before you walk out of the room. You wrap your arms around him, and he does the same, pressing a kiss on the crown of your head.
“It’s great to have you back,” he breaks the silence, glancing at Heleana who walks behind you slowly.
“I love you, Aemond,”
“I love you, too, Sugar,”
If only the two of you knew how things would change in a month.
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You fell into a busy routine around the Targaryen household in a few days. Every day was a challenge itself with the boys, but the fun was endless. Especially since Aemond had tried to steal you away from Aegon and Daeron after they had forced you to tell them more about uni girls — not Daeron though, he only asked about Joanna.
You would watch TV shows at 2 in the morning with Aemond in his room, read a book with him, and plan the rest of the summer together.
Everything is easy with him — from telling your opinions freely to giving him a show of your newest clothes which his mother has purchased. He is everything; a good listener, a great partner in crime, a wonderful person, and the most perfect best friend someone can ever ask for.
And that’s what makes it harder for you to keep your facade up around him. He knows when you lie when you feel uncomfortable, or overthink every single interaction you had throughout the day, and he does whatever he can to keep you calm and happy.
Aemond is always on your mind, whether you are on a date, comparing the person next to you to your best friend, or when you are in classes, even when you are next to him, your mind wanders around him.
And now that he is diving into the pool with his long hair in a low braid, you are losing it. 
You have always found him handsome, despite the scar on his cheek, you never felt anything but love and affection for him, even though he was a complete jerk to you at first, you never despised him for his eye.
You sit at the edge of the pool, applying sunscreen on yourself as you watch him swim in your direction. He stops in front of you, resting his chin on your thigh, looking up at you.
“Y’know, Sugar, why don’t you come with me to the party tonight?” He asks, his large palm caressing the softness of your hip.
“Because it’s a business party, and I am not so keen on meeting Jason Lannister again,” you roll your eyes at him when he chuckles.
“I won’t leave you alone,”
“You promise the same thing every year, and you still leave me alone with all the champagne in the bar.” 
You push a few wet strands of his white hair out of his face as he looks at you with that heart-melting gaze that has you wrapped around his fingers.
“No,”
“Please? Pinkie promise,” he holds his finger in front of you, “I will even take you to our spot after that,”
“Damn you and your charm, Freckles,”
“Call me that again, and I change my mind,” he smirks when you swat his arm.
“You won’t dare,”
“Try me, Sugar—“
“Will you two stop flirting, and fuck each other finally?” Aegon groans, putting his sunglasses on before he sits on one of the lounges with his cocktail, “or if you don’t perhaps I can shoot my shot with her, huh? What do you say, Sugar?”
“I say you should shut the fuck up,” you reply, caressing Aemond’s head gently while he rests his head on your lap, his arms wrapping around your torso.
“Why? At least I can show you a good time,” Aegon pushes his glasses to the bridge of his nose, winking at you. Luckily, you are used to his behavior.
“Hey, look at me, Aem,” you grab his face when you feel him tense under your touch, “He is Aegon, he literally tells every moving thing to get in bed with him. This is not my first time.”
“I know,” he drops his forehead on your thigh, “he does it to get under my skin,”
“And you let him,” you sigh, splashing some water on his face, “anyway, what should I wear tonight?”
He scrunches his nose, tickling you in revenge, “I’m sure Mother has something for you ready in your room by now,” 
“Alright, Aem, but I will not ride on Vhagar with a long dress,”  You squeal when he pulls you down into the water, keeping his fingers on your side as he tickles you.
“Don’t worry, Sug, Baratheons will send us a Limo,”
“A Limo?” You grab his hands to stop him.
“Holy fuck, I need to come with you two—“ Aegon says hurriedly, looking at his brother in disbelief.
“Your father owns the biggest company, you live in the most expensive mansion in Westeros, and you drive Sunfyre, but you still get excited over a Limo?” Aemond shakes his head, sighing in defeat.
“Aemond, I can drink and have sex while someone else is driving. That is all I ever want,”
“I won’t let you fuck up tonight,” Aemond warns him, pointing his finger at Aegon who whines like a child.
“I mean if he doesn’t fuck while we’re in Limo with him, I can tolerate his company,” you say, shrugging your shoulders when Aemond glares at you.
“And what am I doing there exactly?”
“Sealing the deal, like you always do,” Aegon leans back on the lounge, looking at you two from the rim of his glasses, “your girl should stay entertained while you go play the hard-to-get man.”
“That’s exactly why I loathe taking you to these events,”
“Aem, I keep an eye on him, besides, I won’t be left alone,” you try to reason with him, but you only get a disapproving sigh in return.
“You won’t be alone, I promised to keep you by my side,”
“And yet, you have to talk to those noblemen for the good of the company. I can keep him on a leash, trust me,” you turn around to look at Aegon, “ain’t the right, Egg?”
“Gods, you and your stupid nicknames,” He laughs, nodding in response, “but yeah, anything for you, my lady.”
What a night you have ahead of yourself…
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The dress you see when you walk into your room after lunch with the Targaryen family is nothing short but phenomenal — a sapphire blue satin dress that reaches the floor with a slit up the left leg. Not only the dress, but you find diamond earrings as well on your vanity.
Alicent always chooses your outfits for these events, not because she is the controlling type of woman, but because she genuinely enjoys fashion and you can never thank her enough for all the great and beautiful dresses she has bought you.
You look beautiful as you look at yourself in the height-length mirror; the fabric of the dress feels smooth on your skin, and it hugs your curves so beautifully. You put your hair up in a bun with two strands left framing your face, and you smile brightly when Heleana looks at you, beaming at how elegant you look.
“Do you think he’ll like it, Hel?”
“He’ll love it,” she replies softly, stroking your hand.
The door is pushed open by Aemond after two knocks, and lord does he take your breath away with his looks — his platinum hair is down, his tall frame is shaped by the black tuxedo he is wearing and his sapphire tie that matches your dress is resting around his neck.
Heleana can feel his brother’s heart beating faster when he looks at you, sizing you up with his violet eye, a small smile plastering on his thin lips.
He has to remind himself that he can not drag you to his room and kiss your breath away, because with the way you look at him — so in awe as if he is the most handsome man in all Westeros — he has to keep his thoughts pure, or he won’t survive the consequences of his actions.
“Phenomenal,” he whispers, nodding in gratitude when Heleana leaves the two of you alone.
“What is?” You ask, taking a step towards him.
“You are,” he caresses your neck with the back of his hand, turning you around as he stands behind you, “I brought you something, Sugar.”
He holds the velvet box in front of you, and you thank him before you open it, gasping at the sapphire necklace inside. It matches his eye, and you can’t form a word as you look at how it shines under the lights of your room.
“You shouldn’t have,”
“Yeah, because this is nothing compared to what you truly deserve,” he replies, catching the necklace from you while he rests it gently on your neck before he clasps it.
“You are the most perfect best friend I could have ever asked for,”
Your heart aches when you say it, but you can not risk to lose him — he is the source of your happiness, your one and only, your partner in crime, your best friend. So why does it hurt so much when you say it aloud? You love him, you truly do, but perhaps that’s the problem. 
“Ready to leave, love birds?” Aegon pokes his head out from the door, wiggling his eyebrows at the two of you.
“Yeah, lemme grab my purse and we’re good to go.” You say, ignoring Aegon’s suggestive remark.
Aemond offers you his arm, smiling at you as he leads you out of the room behind his brother. The limousine is waiting outside, and you and Aegon grin at each other when you see it.
“After you, my lady,”
Aegon bows, opening the door for you, smirking at you when you punch his arm playfully. Aemond follows you into the car, his lips twitching upward when he sees how you are looking around the car.
“Brother, I will come to every single event you attend just to see their cars,” Aegon says, hands already reaching for the bottle of bourbon.
“Don’t get too drunk and make a mockery out of us,” Aemond hisses at him, his hand resting on your thigh to calm himself.
Physical touch was something so out of the question back in the first few months of your friendship, but soon you realized all he needed was a solace, a hug, and a gentle hand running through his hair when he was nervous.
You were fortunate enough that he found that solace in you.
Throughout the ride towards the destination, the three of you had a shot to loosen up a bit, and you were glad that Aemond calmed down a little until you made it to the location of the party.
When you arrive, Aegon is the first to burst through the car door and stands aside for the flashing cameras to focus on you and Aemond.
Aemond steps outside, extending his hand for you to take as he helps you out of the car. You are flustered at how he keeps looking at you, as if his world orbits around you as if you are the air to his lungs, and it fills you with a new sense of giddiness when you are the center of his attention.
“Shall we?” He asks, offering his arm to you.
“Of course,” you link your arm with him, walking ahead of Aegon to the main entrance of the building while the cameras flash and take pictures for the press.
Everything looks so extraordinary, and that is what Baratheons are most famous for. Even though you are used to being on such occasions with Targaryens, you still feel a little out of place, but with Aemond by your side, nothing can cause you a sour feeling. 
Or at least you think.
As soon as you step into the hall, you are met by none other than Borros Baratheon himself. He greets the boys and nods your way, not paying you any attention as he is completely focused on Aemond, whisking him away from you at the first second he can.
Aemond glances at you, mouthing his apologies as he is carried away by Borros, leaving you and Aegon to help yourselves with champagne and the delicious snacks near the bar.
Soon, Aegon breaks apart from you and finds himself in the company of another woman, who will undoubtedly take him to her place tonight. 
You take another glass of champagne, looking about the room. Most people are engaged in talking business, some are trying to have a great time, and someone like Aemond is being introduced to one of the most beautiful girls you have laid your eyes on.
Aegon and his companion appear next to you, watching the scene as Aemond presses a kiss upon the girl’s knuckles, earning a bashful smile from her.
“Who’s that?”
“Jealous much?” Aegon teases you, but shuts up as soon as he sees your expression, “that is Borros Baratheon’s youngest daughter, Floris.”
“I haven’t seen any of his other daughters around,” Aegon murmurs quietly to the girl next to him.
“I haven’t either,” she replies, watching as Aemond shakes Borros’ hand and offers his arm to Floris, much like he did to you.
He takes her to the dance floor, putting his hand on her waist as they sway with each other, and you watch them, even though you know you should turn your back to them and enjoy your night, all you can focus on is how Aemond smiles at her, how she giggles when he says something — how he treats her like you.
“Sugar, don’t look at ‘em, alright? He is doing this for business—“
“Aegon, I don’t care. I am his best friend, not his girlfriend,” you whisper, exhaling as you watch them come in your direction.
“Sugar,” Aemond says, putting a hand on your shoulder, “this is Floris Baratheon, Floris, this is Y/N, my friend.”
“Oh, hi,” she looks you up and down, a smirk on her face when she shakes your hand.
“Hi, nice to meet you,” you rush the words out of your mouth, already uncomfortable by her judging stare. 
You are beyond thankful when Aegon jumps in and introduces himself, taking the edge off your shoulders for a few seconds.
“I was telling her about your major in university,” Aemond says, his hand still on Floris’ waist.
“Oh,” 
“Yes, he talks highly of you,” she says, looking up at Aemond who is only focused on you right now.
“He is a great friend,” you smile at the pair, fingers tightening around your glass as you take a sip from it.
“A great friend indeed—“
“Can I have a moment with Sugar, please?” 
You are beyond thankful when Aegon comes to your rescue, grabbing your hand and taking you away from them. You sigh in relief when the fresh air hits your heated body, dropping your head on Aegon’s shoulder as you stand outside.
“I wanna leave, Egg,”
“Why don’t you talk to him, Sugar? Stop denying—“
“I am not denying anything,” you raise your voice a little, straightening your back to look into his eyes, “he’s my friend and he seems happy! That is what’s important to me; his happiness. I will not act selfishly because of something that only I want.”
“He is happier with you—“
“I’m not having this conversation right now. I wanna leave, I’ll see you in the house,” you press a quick kiss to his cheek before you walk towards the exit.
You know he is not yours to feel jealous, he is just a friend as he told Floris, but the pain in your heart when he smiled at her — one of those smiles that he only showed you when he would talk about something he truly loved — you knew you had to go.
“Sugar, wait—“
You stop in your tracks when a rough hand grabs your wrist, pulling you back to him. 
“Are you alright? Why-why are you leaving?” Aemond asks, caressing your cheek as you brace your hands on his chest.
“I don’t feel well, Aem,” you pay his chest with one hand, smiling as best as you can, but it doesn’t reach your eyes, “I think I’m a bit dehydrated,”
“I can go and grab you—“
“No, no, no, Aem, listen, I have a terrible headache as well. All I need is sleep, OK? I’ll meet you in the house, go and have fun.”
“I promised not to leave you alone,”
“And we both knew you had to break it because this is business, not a frat party, Aem. Go, I’ll see you later. Love you,”
“Love you too, Sug,”
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From that night, everything has changed — Aemond was always in the company’s building, or out on business meetings, or he was too tired to spend time with you, not only that but he told you a few times that he was going out with Floris Baratheon.
You try to be happy for him, you truly do, but when he stands up mid-conversation to answer her phone call and leaves you without any more explanation than ‘I’m heading out for dinner, don’t wait for me’ without glancing at you, you can’t help but think how easily he is setting you aside.
The month you had planned the first day you arrived is passing and you only did manage to spend a few hours with him before he vanished from your sight.
It has been two days since he has answered your calls and texts, and you are going mad. You have no idea where he is, or who he is with, but more than being angry with him, you are worried about him.
It’s half past midnight and the movie you are watching with Daeron and his girlfriend can’t catch your attention enough to stay with them. So you leave the hall and go upstairs to find Aegon and Hel to spend some time with them while no one is on your mind except your best friend.
You are about to walk past Alicent’s office when you hear his voice from the speaker of her phone. Morally, you know it's wrong to eavesdrop but you have been concerned about him for so long that you need to know if he’s alright.
“Mother, I can’t go against grandsire’s words—“
“You can, and you will, Aemond,” you hear Alicent yell at him over the phone, “you have done enough for this company! I will not allow you to destroy the only thing that has kept you sane!”
“I can’t risk not having the deal—“
“So you are willing to risk your happiness? Is that what you are saying? Because Aemond, I swear to the Seven if you don’t make this right…”
“There is nothing to make right! I can’t ever make her happy, I can’t give her what she wants—“ 
Alicent cuts him off again, “Listen to me, you are making her happy, and she has been—“
“Mother, I love her,”
Your heart drops, eyes watering slightly as you listen to them. He is in love, and all you can imagine is him and Floris — every single moment you spend here in the mansion, thinking of him if he has eaten, if he is alright, he is spending time with Floris.
“That’s why I want you to make the right choice,” Alicent says softly.
You can no longer stand and listen to them, you walk past the room, wiping your tears as another sob rocks your body.
“Psst, Sugar,”
You turn around, eyes red and puffy when you see Heleana and Aegon sitting in the corner of the hallway.
“Why are you crying—“
“He loves you,” 
Heleana cuts Aegon off, her violet eyes shining under the moonlight. You always knew Heleana was different, she caught up on everything before others could even see the possibility, and she could read through people’s minds.
“I thought that much was obvious,” Aegon says, looking at you with confusion.
“What?” You ask, shaking your head at them.
“Fuck me,” he sighs, throwing his head back, “you two are idiots! Even dumber than me.”
“Aegon, what the fuck are you talking about?” You throw your hands up in defeat, sighing when he just shakes his head.
“Aemond loves you,” Heleana whispers, resting her head on Aegon’s shoulder.
“Yeah, as a friend who is neglecting her—“
“As his sun and moon,” she interrupts you, looking outside the window as the rain starts pouring down, “you are not his friend, you are the only person who has his heart in the palm of your hand.”
“I heard him say he loves Floris,”
“Did you hear her name?” Aegon asks, wiggling his eyebrows at you.
“No,”
“Then stop acting like brats! Have you seen how he looks at you, Sugar? He wants to breathe you because you are the only person who is keeping him sane. He wants nothing more than to let you tend to his eye because he is too proud to let anyone near him! He wants you! Fuck Floris, fuck Otto, fuck them all! Do you even know why he has been avoiding you? Because he is too much of a coward to look at you and go on a forced date with Floris. He is falling apart because his heart yearns for you, but Otto has put a leash on it.”
Your lips quiver, tears streaming down your face as you look at the Targaryen twins. Heleana is smiling, and Aegon is furious of you and his brother.
“He bought a house a few months ago,” Aegon searches the pocket of his sweatpants, grabbing his Lamborghini’s remote before he throws it at you.
“He didn’t tell me,” you catch the remote, fiddling with it, unsure of what to do with it.
“No one knows except me, Hel, & Daeron. He needed a place to clear his mind of you, because you’re the only thought that lingers in his head, he needs to find somewhere where he can be alone,” Aegon rests his head on Helaena’s before he continues, “Now, go get your man. I’ll send you the location.”
“Thank you, Egg,” you whisper, wiping your tears with the sleeves of your shirt.
“Go now, before he sleeps. And for my sake, please drive slowly with Sunfyre, my baby is delicate when she goes out in the rain.”
“You Targaryens and naming your vehicles,” you smile a little, waving goodbye to the pair as you rush down the stairs.
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Aemond’s house was located on the other side of the town, on top of the hills and near the woods. It took you an hour to drive there, but that gave you enough time to make up your mind.
You slow down your speed when you see the house, trying your hardest to keep yourself from sobbing as you look at your surroundings; everything screams Aemond, from the location to the look of the house — it looks like home.
You park the golden Lamborghini, turning off the engine before you step out. The lights are still on, and you know Aemond will not sleep until three in the morning when he is anxious — perhaps his call with Alicent has left him hesitant.
The rain pours on you, and you debate whether you should knock or just leave. For a second, you turn around to go back to the car, but Aegon’s words keep playing in your head; He wants you.
“Aemond!” 
You yell out his name, pushing your wet hair out of your face as you stand in the middle of the road.
“Aemond, please!”
You cry, sniffing as you wait for him to show you a sign that he is willing to listen, to hear you for once and the last time. 
You see his shadow reaching the window on the top floor, pushing the curtains away as he looks at you in shock and disbelief. You watch him shut the curtains and move away from the window.
The rain pours heavily on you, the sound of the water droplets falling on the car behind you and the wind blowing is the only thing that can cover your sobbing — a weather that resembles your feelings at the end of summer.
You are ready to turn around and drive back home when he doesn’t show up, but as you hear the sound of the door unlocking, you turn around to find Aemond in a black Tee and gray sweatpants with his hair in a bun.
If you weren’t already so in love with him, you would be by now.
“Sugar, what are you doing here?”
“Just-just listen, alright?” You start, holding your hand to stop him from reaching you when he walks towards you, “I always believed that the right person for me would come, that I would feel some type of magical attraction, that I would feel as though heart will give out and that-that I’d suffocate without him, but I had no idea that I have had him by my side all this time.”
You continued, “These past few days I have realized who that person is; Aem, I burn for you, my soul longs to be molded with yours, my heart breaks to pieces when you are not close to me, and the only thing I want is to be loved by you.”
You step closer to him, staring at him; a few strands of his hair have fallen out of the bun, his shirt is soaked and you can see his cheeks are covered in little droplets whether it’s from the rain or he has been crying as well.
The only thought that crosses your mind is how wholesome he looks.
“Until you tell me to leave, I will be here by your side, every single fucking second! I will love you forever and always, until I stop breathing for you, and even then, when I’m six feet under, I will still yearn for you, Freckles. ‘Till then, my heart beats for you, fast and raw, and I’ll let you steal it every goddamn time because I can’t imagine my life without you — without our messed up baking and you calling me Sugar, or how I pointed out your freckles on your neck, or-or how we would sneak out of your stupid family parties with Hel and Egg and go to karaoke even we didn’t like it but we did it for Hel.”
You grab his hand in yours, pressing little kisses all over the rough skin, loving how delicate your hand looks next to his larger one.
“I found my love in my best friend, and if I was given a choice, I would choose you without hesitation over and over, because that’s the way I loved you, Aem, and I still do,” you take a deep breath, staring into his eye, “I have nothing new to present to you, maybe Floris or any other girl can. This is what I can give you; my undying and unconditional love. Tell me you are happy with her, and I’ll leave, Aem. Whatever you want…”
He stays silent, and for the first time, you can’t read his emotions, and it wrecks your whole body as he keeps quiet. This is it then, you think as you let go of his hand, nodding before you turn around to go back to the car.
Suddenly, he wraps his fingers around your arm, yanking you back into his embrace, crashing his lips to yours, kissing you with a force you have never seen before.
He tastes like coffee and rain; it’s the most comforting flavor you want to taste for the rest of your life. He cups your cheek while his hand rests on your waist, keeping you flushed against him. His lips chase yours, and you whimper in his mouth as he sucks the breath out of you.
Finally, you think, he is right where he belongs.
He pulls away after a hot minute losing himself on your lips, looking down at your swollen lips, his sapphire glistening under the lights of the thunder and water drops.
“You are so beautiful,” he whispers, caressing your cheek lovingly.
“I said a whole fucking speech here, and you tell me I am beautiful?” You grin up at him, pecking his jaw as you wrap your arms around his neck.
“You are hauntingly beautiful. So breathtaking to the point that even the most talented artists wouldn’t do your beauty justice if they try to recreate it,” he ignores your teasing, his eye carving the image of your angelic face in his head, “Even the most beautiful flowers in Highgarden are not as mesmerizing as you are.”
“Is that so?”
“Mhm,” he hums, kissing your forehead.
“Perhaps you should start writing poems for me.”
“Would you like that?” He asks, lacing his fingers with yours, leading you towards the house.
“Yes, very much so. Maybe you could read them to me when we are sitting in front of the pond in your garden,”
“The only thing I want to do to you is kiss you, you shall read those poems all by yourself,” he replies, pushing the door further open before he hands you a towel he has brought down when he sees you standing outside.
You look down and see a puddle of water surrounding you as you both are soaking wet from the pouring rain outside.
“I’m sorry—“
“You have nothing to be sorry about, Sug. C’mon, let me give you some clothes,” he takes his shoes off, and you do the same. He grabs your hand, pulling you upstairs to his room.
You don’t have enough time to look around the house, but when you step inside his room, the first thing you see is a framed picture of the two of you on the desk in front of his window — you had gone to Winterfell that year for Christmas together, and you forced him to take that picture with you.
“Here,” he hands you a fresh pair of boxers and one of his t-shirts, “you can take a shower if you like.”
“No, I’m too tired for that. Thank you for the clothes,”
“Anything for you, Sugar.” He winks at you, turning his back to you so he can change. 
You open the bathroom door, grinning like an idiot as you look at your reflection in the mirror. You looked like a mess, but you never felt more beautiful than you do now. 
You are hauntingly beautiful, his words repeat in your head.
You walk out of the bathroom, your words stuck in your throat as you look at Aemond’s exposed back — he is lean and ripped with muscles, and you can see his muscles flex as he puts on his shirt.
“I can get used to this,” you mumble, arms wrapping around his torso from behind.
He chuckles, putting his palm on yours, smiling to himself as he feels you pressing gentle kisses all over his back.
“You will get used to this, Sugar.”
He turns around, holding you close as he gazes at you with pure adoration.
“You are tired,” he announces, pulling you with him on the mattress without any care that both of your hairs are drenched.
You lay your head on his forearm, pecking the side of his face as he looms over you halfway, his free hand playing with your fingers.
He dips down, brushing his lips over yours slowly, but you are far tempted to go at his pace. You kiss him back fiercely, earning a surprised groan from him as he reciprocates. He lets go of your hand, running the pads of his fingers over your exposed thighs while you fumble with the fabric of his shirt, trying to push it off him.
He breaks the kiss to take his clothes off, and you do the same, lying naked beneath him. Your eyes travel over his tall figure, hands caressing the skin of his chest as he takes you in.
“Am I in heaven?” He asks breathlessly, his lips trailing kisses from your cheek down to your collarbone.
You giggle as he comes up again, pulling your lips back to his, leaving a kiss on them.
“No, you are with me,”
“That’s even better, Sugar,”
He beams at you, giving you another lingering kiss before he starts licking and sucking on your skin, relishing the little whines you let out.
His hands knead your breasts, his gaze solely on you as he goes lower and lower until he reaches where he needs the most — where you need him the most.
He covers the skin of your thighs with bites as he inches closer to your core, his fingers threaded with you and he finally gives your throbbing clit a kiss. 
“Mm, I’ll make it up to you,” he whispers, lips wrapping around the bundle of nerves as he dives inside your heat, groaning while he tastes you.
“Fuck, you better…” you manage to rush the words out of your mouth as he works wonders between your legs.
His pace is slow, but he knows what he’s doing, bringing you closer to the edge with every flicker of his tongue over your clit while one of his fingers circles your wet entrance. He hums as he pushes a finger inside you, almost going wild as he hears your encouraging moans. 
The lewd sound of him slurping and enjoying giving you pleasure is too much for you, and when he adds a second finger, you lose yourself in him, gasping and shaking as you squeeze his free hand, hips pushing against his face while he curves his fingers inside you.
“Give it to me, beautiful, let go f’me,” 
He knows what he is doing to you when he latches his lips to your clit, sucking and licking the nerves like a starved man while his fingers massage that sweet spot inside you. Your legs shake around his head as you come, eyes rolling to the back of your head. He drinks you up gladly, pressing his nose more into your cunt to give you his best.
“Aem, s-stop, it’s too much,” you pull him up by the wet messy bun he has, detaching him from you so you can have a rest.
“You taste fucking sweet,” he whispers against your lips, bending down to let you taste yourself on him. He holds himself up by his elbow, and the other one holds the fat of your hips in a tight grip, digging his nails into the flesh — you can see how his patience is running thin.
“Aem,” you pull back a bit, cupping his face into your trembling hands, “love me, please, make me forget that I almost lost you.”
“Anything that my girl wants, anything for you,” he murmurs, hissing out your name when you reach between your bodies to stroke his hard cock, “I’m going make you forget, Sugar, I will conquer the world and bend it to your will.”
“I don’t need the world when I already have everything I ever wanted with you,” you reply, lining him up with your entrance, both of you moaning in union when he slowly pushes himself in.
“Fuck, Sugar—“ he groans as he pulls his hips back a little, thrusting back into you. He allows you to get adjusted to his size, caging your body under him as he gazes down at you, taking in your blissed-out expression.
“Please, Aem, please move…” you moan out, arms wrapping around his broad shoulders as he starts to thrust himself in you lazily. But when you look so gorgeous with your lips parted and pupils dilated… how can he not fuck you right there?
He speeds up, his balls slapping against the fat of your ass as he hammers himself inside you at a fast pace, drawing moan after moan from your gorgeous mouth.
He curses at the wonderful feeling of being enveloped by you, almost growling when you scratch his back when he reaches deep inside you.
Aemond looks at you, memorizing the shade of your lips, the number of your eyelashes, the curve of your nose, even how your teeth sink into the pillowy flesh of your bottom lip — he doesn’t think he has ever felt this urge to protect and love someone more than he does now.
You tighten your legs around him, throwing your head back when his thumb reaches down to rub the hood of your clit, his cock throbbing inside of you with a deep desire to fill you.
“Sugar, if you don’t stop—“
“Please, come with me. Aem, need you so bad,” you cry out as the white-hot pleasure rushes through your body. Your walls clamp around his girth tightly, keeping him inside you snuggly as his thrusts become sloppier than before.
“Give it to me,” you whisper, nibbling on his jaw before he buries his face into your neck, pushing himself as deep as he can go in you.
“I’m gonna come in you, Sugar. ‘M gonna claim what has always been mine,” he says in your ear, groaning your name as he shoots his cum, coating your walls in his hot white release.
“Fuck, I love you, I love you, I fucking love you—“
You hold him close when he shudders, prepping his face with kisses and praising him for how good he is to you, and how handsome and lovely he is.
“Thank you,” he says, pulling you in for a deep kiss.
“For what, Aem?”
“For putting me out of my misery,”
 The sunlight is shining on your face through the curtains, waking you up slowly. You reach for him, trying to cuddle him back to sleep, but you are met with an empty bed. Dread fills your guts as you push the covers off of your naked body, reaching out to put on some clothes before you run down and search for him.
As soon as you walk down the stairs with the clothes he gave you last night, you see him hunching over the countertop, talking to his mother.
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He is wearing his riding clothes; a leather jacket and black jeans with his hair in a low ponytail. You spot the grocery bags next to the fridge, grinning to yourself when you realize he went shopping for you.
He turns around instantly when he hears your low padding approaching him, pulling you in his arms when you reach him.
“Good morning, love,”
You beam at him, hugging him back tightly, never wanting to let him go.
“Oh, is Sugar there?” Alicent asks over the phone, surprised and silently cheering with Aegon and Heleana as they all listen to the two of you talk.
“Yes, do you want to talk to her, Mother?”
“No, let the poor girl have some privacy. Have you talked to my father yet?”
“I do not want to talk about grandsire right now, Mother. All I need is a peaceful breakfast with my girlfriend. And tell Aegon thank you, Sunfyre is alive and breathing.” Aemond says, kissing the crown of your head as you look at him in shock.
Girlfriend, you thought, and at last, he is mine.
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