#I hate myself honestly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

teyamsatan · 1 year

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I might be writing the angstiest Neteyam fic and I’m already crying writing the outline and I’m not ready and besties, neither are you!!

#how does this keep happening #I’m trying to write smut and my brain is like but what if you just suffered and cried instead #i hate myself honestly #but it’s looking really good so far ngl #andra rambles #neteyam fanfic #neteyam #neteyam sully #neteyam angst

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aaagustd · 8 months

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i sure hope you guys still love me after supernova lol

#i hate myself honestly #swimming in shame i make this post #fic: supernova #sevń sins

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thenarryparable · 1 year

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I did it again. Again I apologize.

#bullet train x the stanley parable #I HATE MYSELF HONESTLY #but Lemon as the Narrator is elite

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crabsnpersimmons · 2 months

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"Hair dyes or perms or just a quick snip, you can always count on your ol' pal Clip!"

it's about time i officially shared my design for Clip from my hairdresser au! here's the silly boi himself!

a.k.a. the most complicated character i've ever designed...

close ups and additional comments under the cut!

that's my boi, despite his crazy design, i love him. his silly top knot hat, the horn-like points around his faceplate, his speckled colours, his four arms, and his funky pants. he's just soooooo fun.

Clip likes to play games and knit! he even made the patchwork pants he wears (he made Sun and Moon a pair too, but they're too precious for them to wear... also a little gaudy to wear in public—doesn't stop Clip tho!). He actually makes everything the boys wear, since there's not a lot of things in their size/shape.

instead of resting at night, he can be found in their living room, playing Kirby 64 for the nth time and/or knitting something. he's just too restless to stay still, he's always gotta be doing something and if it isn't gaming, knitting, or hairdressing, then he's up to No GoodTM.

Clip... likes popping balloons. he says "Goodnight!" with each popped balloon and once he's done, he tosses up the scraps like confetti all while giggling joyfully.

needless to say, he is not fun at parties. Sun and Moon don't let him near balloons for this reason.

and yes, he has sewing needles on hand at all times. for fashion emergencies... and for unsuspecting balloons.

Clip's not allowed to have a phone (just imagine all the in-app purchases Sun and Moon would have to deal with), but he likes to keep up with his customers and their games, even if he doesn't get their fixation over bluenets he'll never openly admit it but he prefers curly-haired blond hunks that look sweet in soft pastels but could also squash him like the spider he is

also, he's great at microbraiding! though i imagine if Sun and Moon are free, they'd come help to shorten the wait but also to compete and see who braids the most (Clip always wins of course—make anything into a game, and he's winning)

aaaaand there's this! i wanted to make sure Clip would be able to freely rotate his waist so his arms could have their full range of motion, and this was the solution i came up with: a crop top on top and a wrap around his waist. and Clip here is being a sneaky little scamp about it.

#fnaf eclipse #fnaf dca #dca fandom #fnaf oc #Clip New Do Same You AU #New Do Same You AU #“but crabs YOU designed him you could have made him easier for you to draw”#but everything is just SO FUN and/or lore-relevant!#like the points around his faceplate give me oni vibes i love it #i hate drawing so many hands but man he's just so silly and he needs every last one #and HIS PANTS #LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME THE DCA WOULDN'T WEAR PATCHWORK PANTS IF THEY COULD #legit the pants were a major breakthrough in his design #he's just a silly guy #honestly i have been on a bit of an artblock lately #and maybe drawing Clip wasn't the best way to ease myself out of it #but it worked i think?#i dunno just been overthinking things a lot lately #that's kinda why i've been quiet again on tumblr #i just need to let loose and just let myself have fun yknow?#like this sketch page has a lot of mistakes in it #but i tried not to dwell on those and kept moving forward #it doesn't need to be perfect it just needs to be #bright colours #cw bright colours #crab art #traditional art

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thatoneidiotyoulovesomuch · 2 years

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I had a panic attack in a bowling alley. How's y'alls week going?

#anxiety #fuck anxiety #panic attack #i hate myself honestly #i don't know if I'm joking or not #:))) this is fine

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thepunkmuppet · 8 months

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the reason why transfem elias is my favourite theory for gwendolyn is because think about the implications.

so let’s say this alternate universe reveals that elias is actually transgender, and would present/identify as female if they had the opportunity to figure themself out and transition (elias was reportedly very young when jonah possessed them)

then the idea that in the tma universe they not only didn’t live long enough to do that, but THEIR BODY WAS TAKEN OVER BY SOMEONE ELSE WHO THEN PRESENTED IN A MASCULINE WAY AND LIVED AS A MAN USING THEIR FACE AND BODY FOR OVER TWENTY YEARS?!? FUCKING TERRIFYING

as a trans person myself, even though the real elias was dead the dysphoria that idea gives me is absolutely unreal, and really creeps into serious body/existential horror territory which i think would be really interesting and very in-character for a writer like jonny to explore.

#idk how they would explain her not being voiced by ben meredith but honestly it’s whatever i like this idea too much to think abt semantics #it’s just so horrible #the freaky friday trope was never something i could even entertain happening to myself #because someone else looking at my body!! and having control over it!! and potentially wearing feminine clothes and makeup and aaahhhhhh #i hate it #it’s a very interesting and nasty horror concept to me #transfem elias is real if this doesn’t turn out to be canon i will probably write it #the magnus archives #tma #the magnus protocol #tmagp #elias bouchard #gwendolyn bouchard #jonah magnus

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thezangoosler · 2 months

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fuck it

gonna hate myself for this in the future but if this post gets uhhh 500(?) notes by like... March 10th, i'll clean my depression room by... at least the end of July (it's pretty bad guys)

#how do i tag this #notes challenge #depression #depression room #cleaning #i honestly hate myself for doing this #but i don't know if im ever gonna do it otherwise

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okkennymay · 20 days

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Commission for @xxmischieflovesxx (aww man why wont it let me @ you??)

Listen I know the vast majority of what i post is commissions, but a mans gotta keep a roof over his head one way or another 9w9"

At least I get a lot of really fun ones!~ 💖

Ahhh Dan under house arrest by Clockwork, his "warden" a demon, and his attempts at intimidation in that last panel were most certainly futile.

#danny phantom #okkennymay #commission #sketch page commission #Dan Phantom #someone else's oc #comic #mini comic #she's a begrudging warden at that #“yes I invited you to join me for a drink because fuck this situation but I didn't mean mINE ASSHOLE”#DAN THE FUCKING TOILET SEAT MAN. HOW MANY TIMES.#me using manga tones for the first time: aM i doIN thiS SHIt riGHT??#honestly i'm just happy to be drawing and posting more at all- even if its all mostly commissions #i've come a long way and a friend recently helped me truly see that 💖#I'm often too hard on myself- I hate that its taken me years to get to this point but it's certainly better than never reaching it at all 💖

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dogt3eeth · 5 months

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I finished my Karlach origin run last week and I'm missing it, so I drew the traveling party. Inspo drawing included :3

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shortcakelils · 3 months

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felt a bit sad so I made them miserable

#cddwtd #cddwtd lily #cddwtd cuphead #my art #Lily rossianna #cuphead #yeah no I actually felt like dogshit #currently hating life but it’s not the end of the world so I’m not gonna sweat it #anyways I’m going to sleep it’s almost 6am #honestly tho the night is the only time of day that I can get time to myself and feel good about it #COUGH ANYWAY BYE GOODNIGHT

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ahxiang · 2 years

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with the focus on the revolving door again in ep 16, i just want to say a little smth abt the door as an autistic person myself.

i know some ppl are frustrated with wyw's difficulty in using the door, saying it infantilizes her and that "she's a 27 year old lawyer, she's seen a revolving door before, she knows how they work." but the thing is, it's not abt her being familiar with revolving doors at all. at least not in the way you think. it's not "oh look at this lady, she doesn't understand this door bc she's autistic." it's a sensory issue.

autism affects our senses and the way we process them. what many allistics don’t understand about autism is that we’re not just overly sensitive to sounds and bright lights. we can be underly (is that a word??) sensitive to stimulus as well and have a hard time controlling our senses. this includes all seven senses. that right, seven. there’s the five you know, but also two you probably don’t: the vestibular sense and proprioception. these two have to do with body awareness, balance, and spatial orientation. that’s why many of us walk “weirdly” (if i ever catch you saying someone walks weirdly i am coming into your house and punching you in the face) or are clumsy. we have issues with our bodies in relation to the world around us and often have a hard time balancing. i walk into walls all the time and miscalculate and walk into doorways instead of through them.

so it’s not that wyw doesn’t understand the social concept of a revolving door, but that they’re difficult to navigate through due to her vestibular and proprioceptive sensory issues. i myself have a hard time with revolving doors! so pls no more “this makes her look dumb” or “this is so unrealistic”. if wyw is bad representation and is stupid for having problems with a revolving door, then i’m an unrealistically stupid autistic that walks into walls.

#extraordinary attorney woo #eaw #sorry for the mini essay everything i write turns into a paper absjs also the bolding is so that it's easier to read for neurodivergents <3 #also i'm not gonna lie at first my internalized ableism took over and i was hard on wyw thinking she was making us look bad and stupid #and then i realized that *i* literally struggle with revolving doors and would have to get my dad to help me get through when i was younger #this show has honestly challenged my own internalized ableism and concept of what is and isn't acceptable autism symptoms to show #and y'know what? fuck the idea that there's a point where you're too visibly autistic! this show has made me love myself so much more #and has helped me through issues i didn't even realize i had! i didn't realize how much ableism i had internalized and held onto #it wasn't until i saw wyw do things that i had hated or berated myself for that i realized i was being too hard on myself #if i loved wyw then i had to love myself too! and on top of that seeing jun ho love her for who she was made me love myself all the more #i just really love this show flaws and all #tea talks #eaw autism science #1k

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5-pp-man · 1 month

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i havent seen anyone talk about this but Arajin and Matakara remind me of Taichi and Touma so much man.

small dark haired guy chasing a girl he likes. major inferiority complex. complicated feelings about his childhood best friend that have to do with those feelings of inferiority, causing him to initially avoid him now that they're in high school. Said childhood best friend has no parents and only has his big brother left. He idolises his former friend to a fault, and still calls him by a childish and overly familiar version of his name (Tai-chan, Ara-chan). hes tall and fit and seems to be popular / well liked, but all he really cares about is his (former) best friend.

the bigger one has kept a memento of their friendship for years. best friend power. best friend stone.

ao no flag was all about making choices. bucchigiri is about not running away and facing things head on. with the way things are going for bucchigiri, it's inevitable that Matakara and Arajin will reconcile, just like Taichi and Touma did

well. maybe not exactly like they did...

#i dont actually think bucchigiri will go there. BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE THOUGH.#anf was honestly just as surprising. i was there. it was insane. so who knows? sometimes miracles do happen.#bucchigiri?!#bucchigiri #ao no flag #blue flag #ao no flag spoilers #blue flag spoilers #i know its been years at this point but still. tagging just to be safe.#tedpost #tedtalks #this is also one of the reasons why i cant bring myself to fully hate arajin.#he reminds me of taichi and i have such a weakness for that guy. i was there suffering along w him.#EDIT; added the name thingy i forgot to include that

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spitinsideme · 3 months

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They say you can tell a lot bout an artist by the way they draw themselves how do you draw yourself spitzy if you don’t mind me asking?

i have had limr one lther person ask me to draw myself so bere !!! me .. im just a happy jolly gay girl honestly with a los4r fashion sense im nkt too special i am literally rvery gay girl whos a loser boyfriend