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#I hate the quality urg
skitskatdacat63 · 5 months
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2023 Las Vegas Grand Prix - Qualifiying - Fernando Alonso
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dumbass-fangirl · 6 months
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I love the posts that say their Tav/Durge and Astarion are making each other worse and being an evil power couple, but I say go the extra mile. Make it even more toxic. Make Durge be Astarion’s new abuser.
Astarion not recognizing it as abuse because Durge never hurts him, not noticing how he is being singled out and isolated from the rest of the party. Durge promising Astarion that they will protect him, keep him safe. Astarion seeing Durge slaughter the grove and doing everything to please Durge so Durge won’t turn their bloodlust on him. Durge treating Astarion with kindness, but punishing and berating anyone else for their mistakes and shortcomings, which makes Astarion afraid to disobey or speak against Durge.
Astarion watching as Durge destroys Last light inn and knowing they are his only chance of surviving in the shadow curse. Durge standing up for Astarion against Araj because they refuse to share him with anyone else. Durge using Astarion’s confession and the vulnerability he feels so they can present themself as the only person who cares about him.
Durge stopping Astarion from ascending, not because they care about Astarion losing his soul or the 7000 spawn, but because they want to keep Astarion weak and easy to control. Durge becoming the slayer and telling Astarion they will spare him as long as he obeys. Durge never hurting Astarion, but making it clear disobeying or leaving them is not an option. Astarion staying with Durge because they have been the only source of safety he’s had for so long, he doesn’t even consider leaving them.
Durge not letting Astarion leave their side, saying it’s to keep him safe. Astarion thinking that it’s fine, that he’s happy like this. Durge doesn’t hurt him. Durge isn’t like Cazador.
Astarion thinking that for once he is actually loved. Durge having a twisted love for Astarion, being posessive because he is the one thing that is completely theirs, that their father can’t take from them.
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adreamingrevenant · 4 months
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billpottsismygf · 24 days
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Still thinking about how someone at the party I was at last night mentioned Always Sunny in a conversation with someone else on the other side of the room and I was suddenly Activated.
Had a lovely time trying not to be too weird, but also definitely being weird and getting to explain the insane context for some of the stuff on the show to @pog-mo-bhlog, then realised that I had apparently got so excited that I was no longer overstimulated, as I had taken my headphones off and didn't need them for the rest of the night.
It's like a special autism bonus. Activate my special interest and I will successfully cope with an overstimulating environment.
Of course, I did then go home and watch some Sunny.
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littlegalerion · 8 months
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- Harvest Moon awkwardly admits she feels as though she definately knows what he's talking about. Or rather, she's "written the book" herself. -
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She had honestly assumed the brief flirting between them was over. Why is it whenever she begins to feel settled in her path towards well earned power, this wizard gets in the way? And why does she allow it? Encourage it?!
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agroupofcrows · 2 years
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7 (one thing you like about your hated character)?
prince hata,, .............i just realised i love prince hata oh NO
shogun's uncle from coan. i think he has that fake, cold elegance often seen on manipulative, privileged cowards in power. which is disgusting, but i liked it as a choice of characterisation.
also i think that they managed to not severe him from the comedy side of gintama, despite appearing in a serious arc. not because he is funny, he isnt, but by having him be a fairly stereotypical, petty,corrupt dime a dozen potentate that you can't be free from just by killing him since it's something other than his personality that's making him dangerous. he represents pretty much every conflict that coan touches on, and provides a new perspective for the shogun siblings' characters.
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nwjws · 9 days
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WAIT FOR YOU TO LIKE ME AGAIN - LSH
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; SYNOPSIS - whether it be in the middle of the halls or during his election speech, heeseung's never passed up an opportunity to ask you out on a date. although you've always said no, that hasn't stopped the boy from trying again anyway - at least until senior year, when he suddenly stopped pursuing you, to your (and everyone's) bewilderment.
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; PAIRING - heeseung x fem!reader
; TAGS - one-shot, fluff, slice of life, highschool au, stuco president!heeseung, vice president!reader, one-sided enemies to lovers ; WARNINGS - angst, mild swearing, light mentions of an abusive ex (not hee's or reader's)
; WC - 11.7k (including the bonus at the end)
; PLAYLIST ► blue butterflies (JIHN) ► line without a hook (ricky montgomery) ► making the bed (olivia rodrigo) ► comfort crowd (conan gray) ► love. (wave to earth)
; AUTHOR'S CORNER ! first fic after hiatus omg. also half the things in this fic rlly happened and the other half were google searches guess which ones are which 😝 i planned to post this on the 17th but i finished it just now and my brain is fried so here we goooo
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you hated lee heeseung.
throughout the three years you've known him, he's been always the bane of your existence. the boy was constantly bugging you and pulling a new stunt to show off and get your attention. all of this just to ask you out on a date - something he's been doing practically every week since the age of fourteen.
seriously, after a hundred 'no's you'd think he'd learn to back off. and yet, he was still persistent in pursuing you.
at least, until your final year began.
see, you two had been competing against each other for the position of student council president at the end of last year. unfortunately for you, he was immensely popular; an actual threat. on top of being the captain for boys' volleyball team, he was class rep. and actively helped out teachers after school. students and teachers alike were drawn in by his hardworking yet casual nature and how easily he talked to others. despite the busy campaigns and rivalry, he still managed to somehow find time to ask you out, ending his final speech with, "and aren't all these qualities worthy of at least one date?"
of course he'd still find a way to make such an important event about asking you out. whoops and cheers echoed the hall, with almost everyone looking at you. everyone knew your history, with half the school on his side, cheering him on and urging you to say yes.
thankfully, the other half of the student body understood that no means no, and were more sympathetic towards you. after all, it's not like you were disliked or anything - you were as well known as h*es*ung.
you yourself had led the school to win several math competitions over the years, and tutored over ten students in your highschool career (get that money girl!). in addition, you were already on the council as the treasurer.
yet, it was his last sentence that one the people over and he'd been chosen as the president, with you as vice.
"just say yes. one date won't hurt," ningning had chuckled when you complained again, once she'd come back from her summer camp.
"my pride and reputation of always saying no will be."
"maybe he'll back off if you do?"
"no number of rejections has stopped him, how would a 'yes' do that?"
"maybe he'll realise you're absolutely undateable," she laughed at you, which had you throwing a pillow at her in retaliation.
you scowled at her before pulling out your phone and finding heeseung's instagram.
"thanks for meeting with us today, i'm sure you guys are excited to go home. first days are always tough." and with that, heeseung closed up the first meeting of the year.
conversation and the screeching of chairs filled the room as everyone began to pack up and leave, bidding goodbye to each other. as president and vice president, you and heeseung were left behind to clean up after the others and sort out other documents and such.
you half-heartedly expected another question of a date from him as you threw away the paper cups and teabags, but it never came.
instead, all he said was, "good job today."
you turned to look at him, with his bag slung over one shoulder and a hand stuffed into his pocket. he gave you a tight smile and left the room after that, reminding you to lock up before you left.
a little disconcerted, you continued the last few tasks while mumbling to yourself, "that ass, making me clean up and not..." you didn't finish that thought. it almost sounded like you wanted him to ask you out on another date. you thought he would though - he always did, but the first day of school passed without incident.
well, it's only the first day. he'll definitely ask you out tomorrow, or later this week. he's never missed a chance to do so during first week of school.
he hasn't asked you out at all. not in the first week, nor the second, or the third.
a whole month had gone by, and all you'd heard from heeseung was student council-related stuff. he hadn't even talked to you outside of meetings.
"did you two fight, or something?" ningning asked you curiously.
"i dunno?" you reply truthfully. you really weren't sure if what was going on between you was a fight or just a change in dynamics. it was confusing.
the rest of the school noticed too; the halls whispered when you passed by, wary and concerned looks thrown your way. someone even asked off handedly in conversation: 'are you two secretly dating, then?' everyone was walking on eggshells around you two.
"well, i guess you can rest now."
"huh?"
"you said you wanted him to stop, didn't you?" ningning raised an eyebrow at you. "who knows how many times you've complained about it to me in the past. it's made up like, half of our conversations in all our years of friendship."
"oh, right."
ningning tilted her head curiously at you. "what's with the disappointed tone?"
"what tone?" you rolled your eyes. "this is perfect! i can finally concentrate on my work without having to be afraid that i'll be distracted by heeseung trying to get me to date him again." after a moment, ningning hummed in agreement.
"and! those girls can stop giving me death glares. i mean - i've already seen so many triumphant looks from them, as if they've already got him in the bag."
"uh-huh," she said sceptically.
"they'd definitely say yes if he asked them out. unlike me. he can actually go and date for once, instead of embarrassing himself with me."
"riiiight."
"good. that's good! maybe he'll have a girlfriend by next week. and-"
"okay! i get it, i get it," ningning burst out laughing. "i've never seen you overthink about heeseung this much."
"i can't help it! what would you think if some guy who's been obnoxiously pining over you for years consistently suddenly stopped out of nowhere?"
"hmm... i'd hang out with him, break my leg, therefore obliging him to bring me to the hospital, manipulate him to visit me every day as i recover, be overbearing as hell so that he'd realise he doesn't want me anymore, and poof! he's gone."
you stared at your (possibly insane) best friend (how is she your best friend?!) in alarm.
"...i think it's time for another visit to the psych ward."
"hey!"
you two laughed yourself to stitches. she might be crazy, but she definitely got your mind off heeseung, if only for a little bit.
"you guys don't like sports, do you?"
everyone in the council shook their head.
"well, luckily for you, the student council members aren't be required to participate in sports day. we're only expected to volunteer and help the teachers."
you and the others cheered, relieved you wouldn't have to run yourself to death in the cold wind like last year. you might have been gifted in almost any skill and hobby you picked up, but sports was an exception.
"make sure you do help out, as i'll be taking note of who does what." then, heeseung said in a whisper, as if sharing a secret (who in this room he's hiding it from, you don't know), "and we'll hold a little party here. just us members." that definitely got everyone murmuring excitedly.
in the two previous years you've been in the student council, you've never seen one so lively and reactive to their president. you hate to admit it, but you too could feel your mood lighten up with them whenever heeseung was leading another meeting.
not to mention, he listened intently to the others' concerns, always suggested good solutions, and greeted everyone who entered with a cup of tea. he was a lot more considerate than you'd expected.
see, you hadn't really shared that many classes before. and the one or two you ever did, you avoided him at all costs so you never actually noticed him properly until it was forced right in front of your face.
"on another note, we'd like to take in suggestions for places to visit for an upcoming school trip," you started, garnering their attention.
as you began your part of the meeting, you could feel heeseung's intense stare, but every time you looked at him, he'd turn away.
it was a little frustrating, and you didn't know why. you couldn't figure out why you felt a little more upset every time he'd look somewhere else. was he ignoring you? but, this was a totally normal thing to do, right? so it's not like you could just ask him 'hey, why do you always ignore me when i look at you?', you'd look stupid.
when the meeting ended and everyone else had left, the awkward tension between you two was so thick you could cut it with a knife.
"make sure to lock up before you go-"
"did i do something wrong?"
heeseung stared at you, mouth frozen from being cut off mid-sentence.
"what? no. why?"
"i just- well, you-" you stuttered, unsure how to answer. "i guess, i'm not used to you not..."
"to me not asking you to be my girlfriend?" he laughed, but there was an odd lack of humour.
you shrunk into yourself. you should have just kept your mouth shut, now you sounded self-centered.
"nevermind," you huffed.
"i'm just doing what you asked. after the date, remember?" he left before you could say anything else.
after he'd gone, you couldn't even hear the silence he left behind - not when your thoughts rang in your ears. shame, embarrassment, rage. you hated him, heeseung.
but most of all, you hated yourself.
you avoided heeseung at all costs after that incident, at least, whenever you could.
previously, with the lack of interactions you two had, you felt like you barely ever saw him. but now that there was this weird air of tension between you, seeing him at three times a week after school for student council activities suddenly felt too often. every time you were alone with him, you were sure you were as red as a tomato; you developed a habit of letting your hair hide your red ears and hide your face.
when sports day inevitably came, you took over his responsibilities, seeing as he was still a part of the volleyball team. that made him the only one in the student council to join any sports activity, whereas the rest of you relaxed. (the privilege was all thanks to heeseung, who advocated for your guys' exemption from activities after everyone had complained, in return for volunteer work.)
"you haven't gone to the volleyball games yet?" soobin, the treasurer, asked.
"no. i planned out a route to visit all the activities, and the courts happened to be last."
he raised a sceptical eyebrow at you.
"really. it's not because you're trying to steer clear of our dear president or something?"
you cringed. "keep your nose out of our business."
"well, if it's affecting student council activities, isn't it our business too?"
"maybe, but i think your priority should be helping out mrs. shin over there," you pointed to the teacher walking across the field, carrying a bunch of equipment by herself. "'looks pretty heavy, it would look bad if our volunteer wasn't doing his work, now would it?"
soobin gave you a dirty look before leaving to help out, but not before bidding you "good luck!"
when you finally made it to the volleyball courts, you spotted him immediately.
he'd done a spike, the slap echoing so loud that it drew the attention of other students passing by. paired with the sound of feet skidding against the ground and the thumps of balls making contact with skin, you decided that you hated the courts. it felt like walking into a battle zone - always fearing you'll get hit by a ball when you're not looking. once, ningning got hit in the face by a baseball and her eye had actually been pushed inwards into her socket. of course, that wasn't on a court, but you weren't taking your chances.
unfortunately, you still had to make sure everything was going smoothly and take note of how many more rounds were left.
"excuse me! students who aren't playing aren't allowed to step into the courts," the teacher yelled at you from the other side.
"sorry, but i have to check on you guys, i'm part of the student council," you explained as you crept closer.
"but-"
"my bad, mr. jeon. i forgot to tell you to expect our vice president to come around eventually, since she's taking over my duties for the day," heeseung said as came jogging up to you two.
"ah, really? was volleyball taking up your time? you should have told me! i wouldn't want this to get in the way of your work."
"no, it's okay. i wanted to play, and she's very reliable," he gestured to you.
"if you say so."
"right," you started, finally looking at heeseung for the first time that day. you nodded your thanks to him, to which he gave a quick thumbs up to before rejoining the game.
"how many sets are left?" you asked mr. jeon, pulling out your pen to note down on your clipboard.
"two. this is our final game of the day."
"great! who won for the girl's team earlier today? i'm sorry i couldn't come earlier. i thought it might be best to come later in the day so i could get all the results at once."
"don't worry about it. the boys' games are always more interesting anyway - in the sense that it's a little more dramatic, what with all the force they put in their hits."
right at that moment, the resounding boom of the ball hitting a wall interrupted you two. geez, were these guys playing with a ball or setting off canons? why men are so aggressive, you'll never understand.
"perfect timing," mr. jeon chuckled. "well anyway, the U-16 girls won the first game, but the U-19 team won the second-"
you should have minded the ongoing game. it was the number one rule when you were on a court, but you foolishly got distracted with mr. jeon's own clipboard. of course, the moment you let your guard down, the ball flew your way, right when you were shifting your stance and was therefore a little more unstable than usual.
the volleyball hit you right in the chest, and had you falling to the ground. by instinct, you tried to catch yourself - but instead of your palms reaching out backwards to save you, it was your elbows that hit the ground.
"fuck!" you cried at the pain that seared through your arm.
"oh my god, are you alright?" the team suddenly ran up to you, with mr. jeon himself trying to help you up.
"i'm so sorry! i didn't mean to." one of the team members apologised.
"watch it next time," heeseung's stern voice came, but you were more focused on trying to minimise the pain as much as possible.
"where does it hurt? your elbow? can you try moving it for me?"
you did as mr. jeon instructed, but underestimated how much it would hurt.
"oh, that popping sound does not sound normal," heeseung commented.
"heeseung, take her to the infirmary."
he nodded and grabbed your unaffected elbow, asking if it was okay. you nodded and followed him as he started leading the way to the school nurse.
"does it still hurt?"
"if i move it, yeah."
"sorry about that."
"it's fine. it happens." a quick silence followed.
"well, you should go to the doctor later. the nurse probably won't do much, maybe just hand you an ice pack or something else useless," he joked. you laughed.
"yeah. she never really does much, does she? all those years of school just to hand us ice packs for a broken bone or twisted ankle."
"right! even the PE department is better equipped for more serious injuries."
"mhm."
another bout of silence. you were going to go crazy, either from the awkwardness of it all or the immense pain in your right arm. you looked at heeseung's back, and the sweat on his skin, soaking his shirt.
"hey, you can go back if you want to," you told him suddenly. "i can walk myself to the infirmary, it's not like i hurt my leg or anything."
"i know, but i'd feel more at ease if i saw you there myself. you're my vice president, of course i'm concerned."
well, you didn't know how to feel about that. you've been downgraded from his crush to coworker, but he still cares for you. so maybe that was a plus?
"i see."
as expected, you were given a cold pack for your elbow and sent to the local hospital. luckily, it was only a ten minute drive and the nurse accompanied you as a staff member drove you two there. heeseung watched you get in the car and leave, going back to his game.
the next time you went to school (two days later), your right arm was in a sling and you pretended like that wasn’t just the most embarrassing moment of your life.
“you’re ambidextrous?” heeseung whispered to you while everyone else was focused on the movie projected.
the council had waited for you to return before they held their (secret) party, since it just felt wrong to hold one when their vice president was suffering in pain and away. up until now, heeseung had only known you used your right hand from all those meetings.
he'd been paying attention to that?
“i’m a better writer with my right.”
“but you can still write well with your left,” he said, impressed. “you really are amazing”
you stared at him, the look of awe on his face, and the slight smile of his mouth. you really had no idea what to say, flustered by his comment.
then he seemed to realise what he was doing, and quickly turned to back to the movie.
“my mom wanted a left-handed daughter, and would always switch the pencil to my left hand when i was younger,” you told him. you had the sudden urge to spill a bit more of your life to him.
“ah, really?” he replied, still looking the other way.
“yeah, but at that point i was already used to my right. i ended up being able to write with both hands though.”
“oh, you can do that?” soobin joined in the conversation. you nodded at him with wide eyes, not expecting the sudden interruption.
“do what?” hanni asked.
“she can write using both her hands. isn’t she so cool?”
“really?” she gasped, looking at the pen in your left hand. “wow. our vice president is way cooler than the president himself.”
“hey!” heeseung exclaimed as everyone giggled.
“seriously though, she’s the whole package. smart, talented, and pretty?” soobin lowered his voice in a mock-whisper, “i can treat you way better than this guy," he joked, pointing his thumb at heeseung.
“alright, i think we need to get a new treasurer,” heeseung suddenly said. he pointed at the projection and yelled, “look! ernesto's actually the villain!” this successfully put everyone's attention back on the movie, all shocked by the plot twist. (you already knew, because coco was your favourite airplane movie.)
when the party finished up, heeseung actually stayed behind this time, and helped you clean up.
“oh, you really don’t have to,” you told him.
“it’s fine, it’s quicker like this. it’s not fair to make you clean up when you don’t have two working hands.”
you watched as he put away the heavy binders and throw out the trash, feeling a little off-put by the new scene. you thought that maybe you should just go home and leave him to lock up, but he wasn’t saying anything, so you stayed and kept him company. his presence was surprisingly comforting.
“you have the keys?”
“yeah,” you answered, trying to open your backpack.
heeseung made his way over and opened your bag for you. “here, i’ll get it. tell me where it is.”
“oh, uhhh in the pocket there. the left one.”
he found the keys and took them before closing the bag again. he waited for you to put it back on, but noticed you struggling a little with the books in your arm.
“why don’t you just put these in your bag?” he asked, taking them from your good arm and helping you slip your injured one through a strap.
“it’ll be really heavy if i do.” you then thanked him, gesturing for him to give back your textbooks.
instead, he kept them, even holding the door open and waiting for you to pass by first.
“where do you live? i’ll try to help you bring these home.”
“you really-”
“it’s fine, i promise. in fact, i insist.” at your expression, he added, “what kind of president would i be if i didn’t help out my vice?”
right. president. and vice president. not friends, not even classmates. just coworkers.
you rolled your eyes and let him help you. “i usually take the bus home. the one that goes to the museum.”
“ah, i know that one. i usually walk home, but i think there’s a stop that bus goes to that’s near my house. so let’s go.”
heeseung led the way, walking in front of you so you took the chance to observe him from behind.
recently, you noticed that although he always looked put together and clean at the beginning of the day, his hair and clothes felt more loose and casual towards the end of the day - particularly on the longer days where there were council meetings after school. you like this version of him; you feel closer to this heeseung, because it’s a side that only you (and the other members) got to see. it felt a little bit like a secret.
“sorry, looks like my stop is earlier than yours. are you fine with carrying these yourself from here?”
“yep.”
“alright. well then, okay.” when he stood up as the bus stopped, he turned to you and waved lightly. “bye bye!” it was a little endearing - the way he'd said it.
“see you.”
you immediately flopped onto your bed when you reached home (on your back side, of course). it was an… odd day, but you didn’t dislike it.
after a bit of a struggle, you finally fished your phone from your bag, sending ningning a message.
“i think you took my advice too seriously,” ningning chortled during class the next day. “when i said i’d break my leg i didn’t mean actually getting injured!”
you dragged your hand down your face, asking whatever being was listening to your pleas to make your best friend stop teasing you.
“it’s not like i sprained my elbow on purpose??”
“oh girl, you don’t have a single athletic bone do you?”
“you know what, maybe i need to learn to shut up and stop telling you things.”
“i know you won’t. when you’re with me, your attempt at a mysterious persona disappears…”
“are you saying i’m loud?” you ask in mock-offense.
“i’m saying you yap a lot,” she rolls her eyes playfully. “but seriously, who knew getting hit by a volleyball would lead you and The Heeseung finally talk. maybe that guy should’ve thrown one at you when we were fourteen.”
“when did you start rooting for him?” you raised an eyebrow at her.
“i just thought he deserved a chance,” she shrugged nonchalantly, but the way she turned away didn’t sit right with you.
“oh, okay,” was all you came up with.
“so, anyway,” she started again after a moment. “i stalked my ex’s spotify and-”
“oh my god,” you groaned at the mention of her ex. “ningning i told you before, you need to forget about him.”
“i know, i know. but i couldn’t help it! his user was just there on the side, and he was listening to memories!! by conan gray!! i had to see what playlist he was listening to.”
“you need to block his spotify.”
“but that’s so embarrassing. it’s never that deep.”
“if you can’t move on from someone who convinced you that you were nothing without him, then maybe it is that deep.”
ningning sighed. “okay, i’ll block him. but do you want to know what his latest playlist was about?”
“duh,” you laughed as ningning pulled out her phone, promising to block him after.
heeseung continued to help you on the way home every time you guys had a meeting, to your surprise. during those bus rides home, you learned way more about the boy in three weeks than you ever had in your three and a half years of knowing each other. you wondered what had made him like you so much before this if he never even really knew you.
“but i did,” he said. “i did know you.”
“did you really?” you asked, thinking he was joking.
“well, at first, i obviously didn’t. i just thought you were pretty, and fun to annoy. so i kept asking you out just to see your response. after that, i did begin to like you - on a superficial level, of course; i was fifteen!”
you listened intently, finally getting answers to a question you didn’t realise you’d been curious about for so long yourself. heeseung didn’t look at you at all during his monologue, but straight forward instead. so you were able to observe the way the gold light from the sun highlighted his features perfectly. (did he always have such a perfect nose?)
“and then there was a time where i just got tired of it. i wanted to stop, but then everyone would have thought it was out of character. so even though i didn’t even like you anymore - in fact, i hated you, i still kept asking you out. just for show. stupid, right?
“but then, one time, i accidentally ran into you at a shop with ningning. actually, more like i saw you and hid behind one of the aisles. but i heard you say you wanted to get something for your siblings too, and i was like, ‘wow, she actually cares about others?’ back then, i was convinced you only thought about yourself.
“another time, you posted one of your competition wins on your instagram, and i could see from the caption how much you adored your team, even tagging each one of them and thanking them individually. i had never seen someone put that much effort into a simple win before. i kind of felt like i wasn’t thankful enough to my own volleyball team,” he chuckled to himself.
“what really had me falling for you though was when you tutored my sister last year . before that, she'd been going through some sort of mental struggle, what with being bullied at school and coming home to our parents telling her she should be ashamed of her grades. i felt so bad that i couldn’t do anything, you know? her older brother; her protector, but couldn’t do anything against the very people who should have been protecting the both of us. when she’d been signed up with you though, she came home for the first time in a good mood - she was humming! and i asked if something good happened at school, and she told me all about her amazing tutor that assured her she wasn’t the useless being she thought she was. how she was finally beginning to understand school for once, and looked forward to your sessions. when i learned that was you, i wanted so surprised, but so grateful."
you had never felt so touched until now. somehow, heeseung’s words made you feel like you really were worth more than you believed.
“really? wait, who’s your sister?”
“lee haseul. the one with autism, remember?”
“ah yes, of course i do!” you said, the name ringing a bell in your head. “she was definitely a little harder to tutor, but once we found a way to use her fixation on cars and link it to what we were learning, it was smooth sailing from there.”
“i really have no idea how you did that, but you have no idea the impact that had on me and my family. sometimes she asks me what it’s like working with you,” he finally turned to look at you, a pretty smile on his face. your face burned at the adoration on his face, looking away yourself.
“i hope you tell her good things about me.”
“there’s not a bad thing to say.”
“really?”
“really.”
when heeseung left the bus that day, a part of him still stayed with you, as words that constantly replayed in your mind.
it made you feel a little self-conscious, knowing that he’d been watching you this closely all this time. you felt like your efforts were appreciated, and that they weren’t for nothing after all. while your admiration of him only begun after really seeing him work on the council, his respect for you had been brewing for way longer.
you went to bed thinking about him way more than you usually did (and you’ve been thinking about him more often since you sprained your elbow). you found yourself a little more excited for the next meeting day, when he’d go home with you again.
what would you guys talk about? will he tell you more of his thoughts? maybe his other interests? should you ask about his team and work? how was he handling all that? or perhaps you should ask about his sister. anything, really. you just wanted to talk. to him.
oh no, you sounded like a typical high school girl with a crush just now, didn’t you? (well, that’s exactly what you are - no shame in that, though!) if your arm wasn’t injured, you would have been punching your pillow and screaming into it right now.
oh, right - the elbow. for the first time, you really didn’t want it to heal. you wanted it to stay sprained for as long as possible, but that would be stupid, and inconvenient. but then, how else would you talk to heeseung outside of council work? it’s not like you two shared any classes, nor did you run in the same circles at school. the bus rides home were really the only times you got to really talk to heeseung, without all the eyes watching you two.
a small part of you began to dread the day your cast came off, because that would mean heeseung would stop talking to you again, right? he wouldn’t have any reason to riding home with you, and it would go back to that awkward thing you two had.
you sigh and turn over, careful with your arm, and finally fall into a fitful sleep.
“you’re staring at him again.”
that sentence had you flinching away and turning back to ningning, looking at you with a knowing glint.
“i can’t help it! his hair just looks so messy, obviously i’m going to notice.”
“his hair looks the same way it always does…”
“well- look at him walking around like he owns the place! he thinks he’s the shit, doesn’t he?”
“to be fair, he’s the student body president and captain of the volleyball team. maybe he is.”
“why are you defending him?!” you cried at all her replies.
“why are you trying to hard to hate him! we both know how much you li-”
“okay, okay, shhhh,” you shut her up by covering her mouth. really, she needed to learn to shut up. it’s not like the whole world needed to know about your massive crush on the boy you previously hated.
ningning pushed your hands away. “why are you more fixated on him today than usual anyway?”
"okay, first of all," you scoffed at her. "you make it sound like i'm always fixated on him."
"you are."
you rolled your eyes, then bit your lip after a moment of thought, knowing that whatever you were about to say would sound stupid(ly in love).
“it’s just that, i finally got my cast off this past weekend, so i can carry my books home perfectly fine again.”
“ah, and so he won’t be escorting you home anymore like he had been these past five weeks,” ningning finished your train of thought.
you buried your face in your arms, flushing bright red. “god, i sound like an idiot. i hate that i even thought that.”
the girl laughed at you, but patted your back consolingly.
“don’t worry about it. i don’t think heeseung’s gonna stop taking the bus with you just because you’re healed now. trust me, he’s one of the caring people i know.” was that a bit of sadness and longing? maybe you were interpreting her tone wrong.
“he probably will! it’s not like he used to take the bus home before i got hurt.” you peeked up at her. “is it wrong to ask you to throw another ball at me?”
“girl…”
when that day’s meeting finally ended, you and heeseung worked in tandem, tidying up the room before locking up, albeit a little more slowly. it was like both of you were waiting for something, but never said it out loud,
as you finally made your way out the school, you and heeseung turned to each other, hoping the other would say something.
“well-” heeseung started at the same time you said, “are you-”
after a brief moment of awkward silence, you guys burst into soft laughter at the silliness of the situation. what were you so afraid of anyway?
“do you still want to ride with me?” you finally asked him.
“if that’s okay with you.”
“of course it is,” you rolled your eyes playfully, falling into step with him.
“honestly, i thought you were going to go back to walking home after i healed up,” you confessed to him on the bus. “it made me kind of sad.”
“you’d miss me?” he teased, but there was excitement in his tone. he was elated.
“well, these rides are kind of fun! i wish i got to know you like this sooner. and then i thought we’d go back to the way we were before after this, but ningning assured me that it’d be fine.”
“ah yeah, ningning’s cool. wish i had a close friend like her by my side.”
it didn’t click until now how they seemed to be familiar with each other. when did heeseung and ningning become friends? in fact, when did they get a chance to even talk to each other?
“are you friends with her?” you tried to ask nonchalantly, like the topic wasn’t bugging you now. if those two were friends, why didn’t ningning mention it to you?
heeseung seemed to notice the shift in your mood though. “we’re just friends, promise. there’s nothing between us.”
that eased you a little, but that wasn’t really your main concern.
“that’s nice to know. but how did you become friends? i thought you two were was close as me and you were before all this.”
“oh! we met up at summer camp. it was purely by coincidence; my parents decided to send me to one last summer, and she happened to be there. i didn’t know anyone else, so i stuck by her for most of the two weeks we were there. we got to know each other then.”
ningning’s summer camp. last summer had been her third year there, so she wasn’t new or anything. the programme usually lasted two weeks, and they’d take away their phones during that time, so you’d have no contact with her until it ended.
but you’re surprised she didn’t tell you about it when she came back. after all, she had said it was ‘just as usual’, but seeing the new face of your best friend’s (previously) most hated person didn’t seem like nothing.
“huh.”
“i swear though, there was nothing between us back then.”
“i see.”
“i hadn’t talked to her much after my date with you-”
the date. ningning had been the one to push you to go. but why? even if her and heeseung became friends during camp, you and her were still closer. so why did she switch sides? you’d thought it was odd how she was suddenly encouraging you to say yes, when she’d spent the last four years sticking her tongue out at heeseung by your side.
the date, which had gone both so bad and yet so good. when everything had gone terribly wrong, but heeseung did everything right.
“i’m so sorry for being late!” heeseung panted as he ran up to your table.
“the one time i give you a chance, and you’re an hour late, lee.”
“i know, i know. it’s just that my sister-”
“i’m not hearing out any excuses,” you huffed.
you’d felt so humiliated waiting for him. you were shaking, your hair was frizzy with stress and your make up probably a little smudged too. the staff had even given you a free cheesecake slice out of pity. a pity cake.
“whatever, you’re here now, so let’s get this over with”
the waitress came over and gave you an encouraging look (which you ignored) and took your orders. when your meals arrived, you stared at the orange slices in the sauce of your orange chicken. although you hated them, you actually loved the sauce and chicken itself, so you ordered them every time you went to a chinese restaurant.
“you don’t like the oranges?” heeseung asked after seeing you pick them out.
“not really, no. i don’t know how to explain it; i love orange chicken, but i hate actually seeing the oranges on the sauce. it’s a little bit jarring for me, fruits and savoury foods together just don’t make sense to me visually, but when i taste them, they’re so good. just like pineapples on pizza, you get me?”
“i guess,” he thinks out loud. he uses his own chopsticks and starts picking them out from your plate, placing them onto his. “mind if i take these then? i love oranges.”
“i’ve literally seen you throw out a whole orange at school before.”
“you were watching?” he smiled sheepishly, a light pink tint to his cheeks.
“n-not particularly.” you look back down at your food, focusing on your task. you need to be more careful with what you say.
after a terrible start to your date, the rest of your lunch went okay. it wasn’t too bad, and you two started discussing your next plan: watching a movie.
“i’m not even a marvel fan,” you told heeseung after he said he’d gotten two tickets for spiderman: no way home.
“don’t worry, i’ll explain everything to you during the movie.”
“really? also, isn’t a movie a terrible date idea? we wouldn’t really talk to each other.”
“well, i will. i tend to talk a lot during movies.” he turned to you with an apologetic look. “i hope you won’t mind.”
“i’ll need it, won’t i?”
turns out you didn’t need his talking during the movie because you two didn't even get to watch it. a kitchen in the food court next to the theatre had gone up in flames, with the fire spreading to it’s surroundings. thankfully, no one died, but the damage was pretty severe, with half the mall having to close down until reparations are finished. and who knows how long that’ll take…
“oh! well, it’s a good thing i was a little late then, right?” heeseung tried to lighten up this messy date as you two passed by the mall which was now in ashes.
“i guess,” you mumbled. “so what now?”
“well, how about a little bowling?” he suggested.
you nodded, and he drove you two to the local bowling alley. you hadn't done it since you were eight, so heeseung showed you how to do it on your first turn.
“swing your arm like this,” he said, holding onto your bicep and holding onto the ball for you.
“you can let go, you know. i can carry the weight, it’s only the small size after all.”
“i know, but it’s just for demonstration. i’m going to let go of the ball now, okay? make sure to hold tightly,” he looked at you intently. geez, how could someone telling you to hold a bowling ball look at you like you hung the stars?
well, you didn’t really need his help anyway. your instincts kicked in and you managed to hit nine pins all together on your first, with similar numbers for the rest of the rounds. you even got a strike twice!
“are you sure you’ve never bowled before?” heeseung chuckled in awe.
“positive.”
“it always surprises me how easily you pick up things.”
“…thanks.”
and then you hit very few pins every single round after that in the second game.
you hadn’t been able to finish your second game however, because a heavy downpour suddenly came down.
“oh my god, the water is rising so fast,” you called over to heeseung as you looked out the glass doors of the main exit. if the floor hadn’t been lifted, the water would have started flowing in by now.
“crap, should we go home before it gets worse?”
“i suggest you should, kids,” the man behind the counter gruffed. he himself was getting ready to go, with the other customers running outside to their own cars.
heeseung looked outside and then at you.
“you can’t walk outside in those shoes, they’ll get wet.”
you were wearing pointy slip ons that would definitely get wet and soaked if you took a step outside, but it’s not like you had a choice.
“it’s alright, let’s just go-woah!”
heeseung picked you up bridal style and started making his way to his car, going fast but careful not to slip.
“hey! let me down!”
“no way, we’re almost there.”
you tried to fight him off, but he just held tightly until you reached the car, and he gently set you down into the passenger seat before backing out of the parking lot.
“are you crazy?”
“are you?” he retorted. “like hell i’m letting you get all soaked on our first date.”
you wheezed. “this date was so unlucky. who imagined everything that happened could’ve happened.”
“i know! and i wanted to make a good impression so bad. it’s like the world is against me,” he whined.
as you finally reached the front of your apartment complex, heeseung turned to you one last time.
“i’m sorry for everything that went wrong. please let me make it up to you.” he sucked in a breath, and you realised what he was going to say just a moment before he did.
“will you let me take you out on another date?”
yes. absolutely. this was fun. it was terrible, but i had a great time. wait, is this him asking me to be his girlfriend? i should ask. if he says yes, would i say yes? i don’t know, i don’t know him that well. i’ve only really only talked to him today. today’s date. everything went wrong. what if that was a sign? if i say yes, will all our dates just keep going to shit? no way, today was just an anomaly. we’ll be fine. but then when i go back to school, everyone will know. they’ll all look at me like they knew this would happen. they’ll clap him on the back and whoop in the halls, that’ll be so embarrassing. i hate that. maybe i should say no. but he was so sweet. it’s not his fault. but i wouldn’t be able to handle the attention. maybe i should-
“oh… i see.”
you looked up at him in confusion. but he wasn’t looking at you anymore. just straight ahead.
had you said something out loud? your thoughts were running wild, and you really couldn’t make up your mind.
“okay, well. have a good night,” heeseung said. when did he make his way to your door? even through the heartbreak clearly displayed in his voice, he still went out and opened the door for you. or maybe he was kicking you out of his car. was ningning right? had he thought you were undateable?
too much. too much was happening; so much happened today that you couldn’t form an answer. heeseung took your silence as a no (or did you actually say no? out of instinct?), which made your mind even more befuddled. you weren’t sure if you were even forming a coherent thought.
“oh, okay.”
you somehow made it out of the car and to the entrance of the apartment. turning back, you found heeseung’s car still there, with him watching you. you gave a weak wave, one he didn’t return, and punched in your house number.
at the last moment, you wanted to say something. anything, you didn’t know what. but when you around back to him again, he was gone.
you didn’t sleep at all that night. or maybe you did? you couldn’t tell. you’d been so worried over that last moment with heeseung, and had replayed it so many times in your head.
eventually, you convinced yourself that things were fine. that maybe you just imagined it. maybe it wasn’t that bad, and things would go back to normal at school.
definitely. he’ll definitely get back to his shenanigans when school started up again. there wasn’t some sort of finality in his tone - no you just imagined it.
you were wrong.
“why didn’t you tell me you met heeseung at summer camp?”
“how’d you-”
“he told me.” you looked at ningning intently. “but it should have been you.”
“i just- i didn’t think it was worth mentioning! you hated the guy, and it’s not like him being there would have affected you in any way,” she defended herself.
“sure, but i would have appreciated hearing it from you. you knew i’ve had a crush on him for months now, and you could have mentioned it to me?? summer camp was in july; it’s already march for fuck’s sake!”
“i wanted to! i just couldn’t find the right time. you were always busy with student council stuff, and whenever you were free you always talked about heeseung,” he huffed exasperatedly. “how was i supposed to just go, ‘by the way, your crush paid me to set you guys up!’”
your head snapped towards her.
“what?”
“what do you mean wh-” when ningning saw the look on your face, she slapped her hands over her mouth. “you didn’t know about that part...”
“no. i didn’t,” you seethed. “well, i’m glad i got to hear at least something from you.”
you stormed out, ignoring ningning’s pleas of ‘wait! hear me out!’
a fool, that’s what you were. somehow, ningning’s behaviour was even more clear. your best friend had been paid to convince you to say yes. who would have thought she was easily swayed by a few bucks?
and to think that heeseung was really that desperate to take you on a date, going so far as to pay someone close to you to get you to agree? wow, he really was a grade A asshole. sports day had just been topped by ‘being played by my own best friend and crush’ on your list of most embarrassing moments.
speed walking through the halls, you couldn’t stand to look at the pictures of you and heeseung’s faces on the student council board. it hurt so bad, that your feelings could just be easily bought. that someone you considered as family could sell you out like this. that the guy you’d fallen for would go to this length to ‘get you’.
at the bus stop, you saw the man himself smile brightly at you and wave, like he didn’t pay your best friend to get you to go in a date with him. one thing that never fails to amaze you is the audacity of men.
was it all a lie? was his kind-hearted and caring personality all fake? just another thing he did to get your attention? did you truly know heeseung like you thought? or just the 'heeseung' he wanted you to see?
you pointedly looked away, and decided to go home by foot. it was twenty minutes away by walking, but that was enough time for you to at least calm down a little and think about it more. sort out your mind.
you ended up skipping the rest of the week, convincing your parents you were sick (by putting a hot pack on your face and neck before they checked). otherwise, you might have actually broken down right then at school if you saw either heeseung or ningning.
"is everything okay?" soobin asked one day.
"yeah! everything's fine," you said cheerily. "why do you ask?"
"well, it's just that you've been sitting with us instead of ningning."
looking at soobin and his friends, you finally noticed the slight awkward air in the group because of your presence. to be fair, you weren't really close with them to begin with. or anyone. you spent most of your lunch breaks with ningning, but now that you've refused to talk to her for the last two weeks, you've been floating between different groups. sometimes, you even spent lunch in the toilets or the student council room.
but who else could you spend it with? you weren't ready to face ningning yet, and it was already hard enough tolerating heeseung during meetings. you didn't miss the worried looks from him, and he's tried to talk to you several times (which you always declined).
a sigh escapes you, and you massage your forehead. obviously, you needed to confront them both eventually. but not right now. whatever the answer is, you don't think you'd be able to handle it right now.
"do you want to talk about it?" soobin asked, a low volume only for you to hear.
"maybe later," you admitted. it would be a good idea to tell an outsider all of this, especially to soobin, who's always been a great advice-giver.
"there won't be a meeting this friday; seniors are having a rehearsal for the graduation ceremony then. the school wanted to have one before finals started," heeseung told the council. he looked around and asked, "anything else?" at everyone's silence, he nodded and closed the meeting. everyone bid their goodbyes and left, except soobin.
heeseung stared at you with anticipation and uncertainty. he'd given up on asking you to talk for a while now, but still waited for you to act first. he understood that you'd come to him when you were ready.
you looked up at soobin, looking at you with a similar expression, but one that had more curiousity and less anxiety.
"let's go?" he asked. you nodded and followed him out, leaving heeseung to lock up on his own.
you started doing that ever since The Incident. of course, you didn't leave all the clean up work to him, but you rushed your own responsibilities to minimise as much time you had to spend with him as possible.
"seriously?"
you and soobin turned back, finding the voice belonging to heeseung. he was standing outside the student council room, looking at you two, fuming. you could practically see the steam coming out his ears.
"you ignore and shun me away, refusing to talk about this issue between us, but talk to soobin about it instead? why are you dragging him into this??"
you rolled your eyes and turned to him fully, blood boiling. "i'm not 'dragging him into this'. i just wanted to talk to someone, is that so wrong?" you retorted.
"yes! you seriously think getting soobin's opinion is gonna help?"
"am i not allowed to talk to him now? are you going to pay him to stop talking to me too?"
"god, i know it was wrong of me, okay?! i'm sorry, it was shitty of me."
"your apology isn't going to suddenly make everything better. it won't take back what you did."
"i know. but please, talk to me. it's driving me crazy, how you go about acting normal with everyone but me. this whole year, did you not feel anything for me at all? do you really hate me?" he asked, his voice cracking at the end. "if you do, tell me now. so i can finally move on."
you stared at the boy, and the way the late afternoon sunlight hit him from behind. you could barely make out his expression, but maybe that was for the better. you probably wouldn't have been able to turn away and stand your ground if you saw the look on his face.
"you can't say that. not when you were the one who put yourself in this situation. did you think i would never find out? that you bribed my best friend into setting me up with you?" you heard soobin's surprised gasp on the side.
although you had your back to heeseung, you could still imagine what he looked like. the scene broke your heart, but not as much as it did when you found out that ningning had even agreed to such a thing.
after it was clear he wasn't going to reply, you started walking away, with soobin tailing you.
"wow... so that's what happened," was the first thing he said after a few minutes of silence.
"yeah."
"what a dick move."
"right."
you sighed, the adrenaline leaving you and now realising how loud you two had been. there weren't many students left at school, but a teacher or two probably heard the commotion. you'll be the hot topic of the staff lounge room for sure.
when you finally explained it all to soobin, he was quiet for a moment, thoughtful.
"i honestly never expected this from heeseung. it just- it doesn't seem like him."
"that's what i thought too. a little part of me wishes it's all some misunderstanding, but i don't know how it could be twisted any other way."
soobin hummed in agreement. "but, i noticed one thing from all of this though: you still call ningning your best friend," he pointed out. "despite everything, you've already forgiven her. or at least, you've begun to."
you bit your lip, realising he was right. you were beginning to accept it. she seemed genuinely sorry, and you could never hate her forever.
"it's just that - after getting to know heeseung, i felt like a terrible person for not giving him a chance. for always turning him down harshly. maybe i drove him to bribe ningning, maybe she got fed up with me too. i couldn't help but feel guilty for causing both of them to act like this.
"and i know this sounds wrong... but somehow, i felt a little relieved that i wasn't the only person in the wrong. that i wasn't the only asshole in this story - isn't that such a twisted thought?"
soobin melted when he saw your face, and pulled you in for a hug.
"of course not. it's alright to feel like this, you know? it's what makes us human, and what are humans without complicated feelings?"
and just like that, a dam was broken. you didn't realise how much you needed to hear those words until he said them.
it wasn't until may that you finally mustered up the courage to finally talk to ningning, and it seemed she had the same idea too.
"please, can we talk?" she asked at the same time you called her name.
"i was just about to ask the same thing."
once you two found an empty classroom, ningning started immediately.
"listen," she called for your attention. "i'm so sorry. you have no idea how many times i want to say it; i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry. it was such a light offer, really. i didn't realise the meaning it would have in the moment."
"what do you mean, a 'light offer'?"
"during camp, i had bought heeseung's sister some ice cream because she was being left out by the other kids. it was only like two dollars, but heeseung insisted on repaying. but the smallest bill he had was a five, so obviously i refused. but he kept asking me to take it and i told him that if i took it, i'd be the one in debt to him instead. so he made a light-hearted joke about getting you to go on a date with him, so that there'd be no hard feelings between us." she looked up at you pleadingly. "we'd been joking around, i didn't even realise the reality of his question. but when i got back from camp, i didn't think you'd actually go on one with him."
"you kept bringing it up; i trusted your opinion."
"i did, but i didn't really mean it. i was hoping you'd continue to say no, and i could just tell him something like 'sorry, i tried. here's your three dollars back.'"
"you didn't mean it?" you prodded.
ningning looked down at her hands and sighed. you could tell something was weighing on her.
"the truth is... i ended up catching feelings for heeseung. you know how i'd just broken up with my ex recently."
you thought back to her ex, who had isolated ningning from you and her other friends. how she'd come to school covered up even in the heat. the way she'd lost a worrying amount of weight. in all honesty, you should have tried to pry more; to break her out of this toxic relationship. but instead, you told yourself that there wasn't anything you could do, and left her to deal with the abuse on her own.
the guilt ate you, but you distracted yourself with work (and heeseung). god, you're so self-centred, aren't you?
"oh yeah, i remember very well."
"exactly," she says, hearing the loathing in your voice. "heeseung was the first person to show me genuine kindness after that whole affair. and so i found myself watching him over those two weeks, falling for him. and i thought to myself: if you didn't want him, then could i? i feel like the worst person ever, how could i even think that?"
her voice broke at the end, and you could see her silently crying; tears poured down her face but her sobs were inaudible. you'd noticed it was a habit she formed after getting with her ex. she'd never cried much before him, but she used to cry as loudly as you. you placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"it's okay. you're not the only one with shitty thoughts."
her wide eyes peered up at you, sparkling with tears. she wrapped her arms around you, and you reciprocated the embrace.
the way she'd hiccuped and the wet spot you could feel forming on your shirt yet the silent sobs broke your own heart, and you had to force your own tears down.
"i'm sorry too. i was too absorbed in my own life that i didn't pay enough attention to the way you were breaking. i mean, how did i not notice anything all this time?"
you wondered if her smile had ever wavered when she was with you, if she had to fake a laugh, or even force herself to talk to you this past year. dealing with her own problems on her own, while you vented to her yours. if she had, you didn't notice (someone give you a 'best friend of the year' award right now!).
as much as you wanted to hate her for liking heeseung, you didn't. you understood her feelings, especially after getting to know the boy himself. he brought a sense of safety with him wherever he went - so how could you ever hate your best friend for needing that security when no one else offered it to her?
"wait, can i ask you something?" you asked. ningning slipped from the embrace, nodding.
"if you liked heeseung, then why did you still ask me to accept his date offers? you could have just kept it from me, and told him that i said no. was it really just because of the three dollar 'debt'?"
"ah, right. well, when he'd asked me to get you to go on a date with me, it reminded me just how much he liked you. i don't think he'd ever see me the same way, not when his sights are so fixed on you. and after getting a taste of his hospitality, i felt that you deserved it too. that not only did he deserve a chance, but so did you.
"i realised that you needed someone like him. i couldn't give you the care and support he could, not when i'm too absorbed by my own problems. and i knew you were feeling guilty, and heeseung was the only one who could really understand you."
oh, you really were going to either jump off a cliff or hug her so tight her eyeballs might pop out. even when you neglected, she still thought about you through it all. heeseung was wrong, he made you out to be this caring person who thought of others, but that person was really ningning.
"but, what about you? you need care and support too."
"it wouldn't work out between us, he's not the kind of person i want. he was just the first kind person in a while. i need to heal and learn to be more independent myself."
a quiet moment followed, with the both of you lost in your thoughts and emotions. you hadn't felt this lonely in so long, and a weight had finally been lifted from your shoulders.
"so what are you going to do? have you talked to heeseung yet?"
"no, not yet. but he's waited four years now, he can wait a little longer. i just want to spend time with my best friend right now."
'a little longer' ended up being another month. when finals started, the school let the older years off on study leave to focus on exams. so you didn't end up seeing heeseung until the final graduation rehearsal.
as president and vice president, you two were expected to perform a speech and be next to each other the whole ceremony. so you decided it was the perfect time to confront him then.
"heeseung, wait," you called, grabbing onto his wrist as he walked by.
he immediately paused in his tracks, whipping around to look at you with wide eyes, surprised you'd finally decided to talk to him. you glanced at his friends behind him, all with a mix of curious and knowing looks.
"oh, uh, you guys can go ahead," he told them, and they left you two alone.
"i made up with ningning..." you told him.
"i see! that- that's good. im happy you guys did."
"...and i'm sorry. for making a big deal out of nothing. for making you wait so long. you're seriously one of the sweetest people i've ever met. you didn't deserve that."
heeseung shook his head in protest. "no, don't say that. i'd wait for you as long as you want, even if you never accept me. and it was a big deal. i'm guessing she told you?" you nodded. "it was fucked up of me to even make a joke like that. in fact, it was worse than if it was a genuine deal. and i can't just buy your love with three dollars, you're worth more than that." you tried to say something, but heeseung continued.
"i screwed up, i know. but i never lied to you. if there's one thing i've always been sure of, it was loving you. don't you ever feel like you have to love me back though, it's not something you can force. but i'll always have your back. no matter how many fights, how many fuck-ups, or if i ever lose my feelings for you - which might never happen. you can always fall back on me for support."
your eyes watered at his sincerity, feeling unworthy of his kindness.
"i don't deserve that though. ningning does."
"you both do. listen to me," he said, grabbing onto your shoulders and forcing you to look up at him. "don't you ever dare say that you're undeserving of love and support. every one does, but i know who you are; i know how hard you work and your honesty. and i want to guarantee you a home with me, if you ever need one. because i love you."
wow. you've cried so much these past few months, and you're sure you're about to start again. heeseung wiped your tears with his thumb, and your heart swelled.
a year ago, you would have never even thought of accepting heeseung's feelings. a few months ago, you thought you had just missed him, finally reciprocating his feelings right as he lost them. but now you were finally on the same page, and you didn't want to waste another moment.
"i love you, heeseung."
graduation day was a busy one. you had to start getting ready earlier than other students in order to prepare your speech and arrive before everyone else. it was stressful, yet rewarding, especially as you crossed the stage and finally received your diploma.
when you and heeseung were set to give your pre-written speeches, you almost didn't notice the way everyone looked motivated during his, being captured by his words yourself. you hoped to be able to instil that inspiration in others one day.
towards the end of his speech though, he did something you didn't expect, but shouldn't have been surprised by.
"so toward my fellow graduates and our families who've supported us all this way, let's celebrate our achievements and strive to follow our dreams," then turned to look back at you, pulling a bouquet of flowers from under podium, which he'd blocked from your view this whole time with his body. "as i will be with mine. so i'll ask one last time: would you let me have the honour of being your boyfriend?"
you rolled your eyes, but couldn't hide the smile on your face. with the cheers echoing throughout the hall, you suddenly got a sense of deja vu, remembering his election speech the previous year.
oh, how much things have changed since then.
"if only you'll let me be your girlfriend."
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; BONUS
with exams over and the heatwave taking over the country, you had decided to spend the day at heeseung's house and try to cool off.
"are you and ningning going back to camp this summer?" you asked, hoping he'd say no. having zero contact with your best friends for two weeks sounded like hell. not even a good morning or good night text? shivers went down your spine at the thought.
"i think i'll be busy with college apps. not sure about ningning though."
"really?" you gasped, turning over to look at him. "so basically i get to spend the whole holiday with you."
heeseung grinned at you excitedly, thinking the same. then, his face suddenly lit up, as if remembering something.
"speaking of ningning, i just remembered how she sprained her leg last year. she spent the rest of the week in the infirmary."
"really? she was fine when she came back though."
"it was minor, so it only took one week, in the middle of those two."
suddenly, you remembered something too.
"i'd hang out with him, break my leg, therefore obliging him to bring me to the hospital, manipulate him to visit me every day as i recover, be overbearing as hell so that he'd realise he doesn't want me anymore, and poof! he's gone."
"no way..."
"what?" he questioned.
"did you have to visit her everyday?"
"oh. yeah, to give her her medicine and meals. the other kids had basically made me their makeshift nurse, since i treated them better than the nurse apparently," he laughed at the memory. "i caught the old lady glaring at me several times - maybe she thought i'd stolen her job?"
you laughed with him, but not only because of his story. you couldn't believe ningning's oddly specific solution had actually come out of experience. you were so going to bully her for this later.
"should i glare at you too, then?"
"hm?" he hummed confusedly.
"for stealing my heart."
heeseung blinked at you for a moment, before breaking into a wide smile and suddenly attacking you with tickles (a habit you learned he tended to do when he was flustered, specifically by you).
giggles escaped you, laughing so hard that it began to hurt. if this is how it's going to be with heeseung, you'll grow abs in no time.
"okay! okay, stop-" you cackled.
he obliged, helping you sit back up. then he tucked your hair behind your hear and placed a quick peck on your lips.
suddenly shy, you looked away with a smile facing the fan as it blew air onto your face, pushing your hair back. when you looked back at heeseung over your shoulder, you were surprised to find him beaming at you with awe on his face.
"you're beautiful, you know?"
"only when i'm with you."
"nope. you're always stunning."
"okay."
"you don't believe me?"
"i do."
"good. i'll keep saying it anyway, to make sure you do."
you stared at him for a moment that felt like hours, just staring into each others eyes. you then went in for a hug, toppling over the other and staying in that position - just you two cuddling on his bed.
sure, it was really hot today, but somehow the warmth from his body was more comfortable than anything else. you couldn't have asked for a more perfect moment.
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; AUTHOR'S CORNER ! is it obvious i've never had a big injury before... anyway i hope u guys enjoyed this! i wrote this really quick and suddenly like it js came out of nowhere lol but for now i'm proud of it :)
; TAGLIST - @naespas @okwonyo @sleepdeprivedline @lcvclywon @llvrhee @hommyy-tommy @sumzysworld @syazzzlisa @jiawji @cjayius @desistay @dimplewonie perm. @lovelovelovebts @miyseung @babyy-bambii @haechansbbg @gweoriz @maoyueze @manooffline @yizhoutv @rikibun @wonniversity networks. @kflixnet @k-films @/k-labels
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darkbluekies · 10 months
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In our own world
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Yandere!king OC x fem!reader
Summary: You're bored and Edmund decides to create his own little excluded world where you and him can spend some valuable quality time, just you and him.
Warnings: obsession, isolation, Edmund thinking that he is better than everyone else (power dynamics?)
Word count: 2.1k
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Oh how bored you are. You've been sitting in the large window for what feels like an eternity by now. Maybe you could ask the maids to entertain you? No, that won't work. Edmund has said that none other than him are allowed to be with you unless he's said otherwise. Maybe … maybe you could ask Edmund to do something? Maybe he could let you … go out for a little?
You jump down from the window and leave the chamber. Wherever you walk in the halls, maids and butlers stop to bow at you and wish you a good day. At first, you found it soothing that someone acknowledged your presence, but now you find them creepy. 
You reach Edmund’s office and are met by a guard standing outside.
"Can I speak to him?" you ask.
"He's busy, your majesty", the guard replies.
"Please?"
"You shouldn't disturb the king. He was very persistent on that no one should talk to him before he's done with his work."
"Oh … okay …"
"Can it wait?"
You force a smile. "Yes, it can."
"Very well."
In defeat, you turn around to leave. The guard walks into the office to check up on the king.
"Who were you talking to?" Edmund asks without looking up from his desk. "Fuck all of these papers make me insane!"
"It was the queen, your majesty", the guard answers.
Edmund snaps his head up, his heart skipping a beat. You've finally come to him? 
"What did she want?" he asks quickly.
"She just wanted to speak with you", the guard answers. "Nothing more. She said that it could wait so I sent her away. I know how you said that you didn't want to be disturbed-"
"You fucking idiot! That rule implies for everyone but her. Go get her."
"... yes, your highness."
The guard runs out of the room, sensing that he's upset the king. Edmund sighs frustratedly, shaking his head. 
He returns with you by his side just a minute later. Carefully, he walks out and shuts the door behind him. Edmund smiles fondly as he sees you. You're so pretty.
"I heard you wanted to talk to me", he says softly.
"It was nothing important", you say. 
"Yes, it was. Come here."
He pats his lap. You walk over to him slowly and sit down on his thigh. Edmund smiles and wraps his arm around your waist securely.
"What did you want to say to me?" he smiles up at you.
"I was just bored", you say and shrug. "I was wondering if you wanted to do something but you're busy. I don’t want to disturb you."
Edmund sighs and looks over the papers drowning his desk. Why does he have to be a king?
"I am", he mumbles regretfully. "I'd love to spend time with you, my jewel, but if I don't complete this before tonight the Supreme Court will grill my ass."
"It's okay … I'll entertain myself. I'm good at it."
Edmund bites his lip, thinking.
"If I hurry up, will you wait for me?" he asks and squeezes your waist carefully. "We can do something together later. Why don’t you come up with something fun to do in the meantime?"
“I want to go out”, you say. “For a little while.”
Edmund grabs your cheeks in his hand and smiles cheekily. 
“You are not allowed outside, dearest”, he says with his eyebrows raised in that condescending tone you hate — sounds like he’s talking to a child. “You’re far too precious to be spoiled by the outside world.”
You sigh and fight back the urge to slap him. 
“Go wait in the bedroom and I’ll come get you when I’m done”, he says, giving you a sweet push towards the doors. “If any of the guards give you any problem, you come back and tell me.”
You nod. Edmund smile drops once you leave. He can’t believe how his own guard turned you away. You must have felt so shocked and humiliated. Edmund’s heart breaks at the thought. He clenches his jaw. If you want to go outside, then you shall. 
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You must have fallen asleep because when you open your eyes, Edmund’s kneels down in front of the bed, caressing your hair. 
“Y/N, my queen, why don’t you come with me?” he smiles. 
“Are you done now?” you ask and yawn. 
“Yes, I am. And I have something for you. Won’t you come with me?”
You get up from bed and follow him out of the room. He leads you through magnificent corridors, out to the backyard. You stop at the sight. A set table with flowers, pastries and tea. It’s taken directly out of a fairytale.
“Do you like it?” he asks.
He looks genuinely excited. Edmund loves to do these kinds of stuff. He’s never had anyone to surprise or impress before, but now that he has … it has become something he enjoys.   
“I love it”, you answer, still in shock. “Why did you suddenly change your mind?”
“I mean … this isn’t the outside world”, Edmund shrugs. “So I thought that is wouldn’t be too bad. This is our own little world. You can still see the sun, but you’re not tainted by the townsfolk. I guess I can let you be here. But only when I am too.”
You look around, seeing the high brick wall that keeps you locked in. You can tell guards are watching every corner. Edmund takes you to the table and holds out a chair for you. You sit down and start to search the table for what you should start with. 
“I’ve told the maids to stay away”, he says and lifts the teapot. “I want to do everything myself.”
You want to crack a joke about how he’s never touched his own utensils before, but you keep it in. It’s probably not a good timing. He seems to be in a good mood for once, you shouldn’t destroy it. He pours you some tea and holds out the cookie tray for you. 
“Eat as much as you like, my jewel”, Edmund says. “We have enough to feed the entire village here. Not that they will get any. Why would anyone unimportant deserve this kind of food? Pathetic. These kinds of meals are reserved for the important people.”
Pleasant as always.
“Thank you for bringing me out here …”, you say hesitantly after a while of awkward silence. “I’ve missed being outside.”
“You’re welcome”, Edmund smiles with a smile. “If you’re happy, then I am too.”  He breathes out and looks around. “Such a shame I’m always busy or we could spend all of our time together … just like this.”
You don’t answer. You’re not sure what you think about the idea. It’s not like you wanted to go to him for company. You had no other choice. He kills everyone you want to talk to. 
“Do you feel lonely without me?” he asks while keeping his eyes on the spoon he slowly moves around in his teacup. 
“I feel lonely, but I’m not sure it has so much to do with you … just overall”, you answer hesitantly. “It’s a big castle with lots of people I don’t know … everything is frightening and big …”
“It’s not dangerous for you. Only at night. But you’re safe if you stay in the parts assigned to you. You know better than to wander around.”
Oh, you know.
Suddenly, you hear a melody coming from afar. You look up, trying to find where the music is originating from. Edmund does the same and then breaks out into a small smile.
"Right, there were some things in the village today", he says, shaking his head slightly. "I should have told them to cut it out."
"What are they doing?" you ask.
"Partying. Something they don't have time for now that it’s harvest time."
He's about to stand up and tell a guard to get rid of the sound, but your hand shoots out, placing over his before you can think. He looks down at you, shock written all over his face.
"Please let them be", you beg. "They should get a break from their jobs and have some fun. They're humans. Besides … I kind of like the melody."
Edmund sighs heavily and nods. Remorsefully, he sits back down and looks at you with love growing in his eyes.
"You're wonderful, do you know that?" he asks. "I made a good choice in marrying you."
Your heart sinks whenever he talks like that. As if everything is a business deal to secure the heritage of the throne. Edmund has a tendency to be selfish and inhuman, how does he really care for you? Does he see you as another package deal to secure the future? Is he treating you differently because he should? Since you’re the queen?
"Can I ask you a question?" you ask hesitantly.
"Go ahead", he answers calmly.
"Did you marry me because you needed a queen or … because you actually wanted to?"
You can see him physically twitching. He furrows his dark brows and looks at you questionably.
"What are you saying?" he asks in confusion. “Are you serious?”
You nod. Your throat has gone dry. That voice. Oh, how you hate to confront him. He can never take anything in any way other than an attack. 
“Do you think I wanted to be married at this age?” Edmund asks with a raised eyebrow. “That wasn’t my priority, Y/N. With that said, you’re definitely not just something I ticked off the bucket list. Don’t … don’t I show you enough love?”
You shrug fearfully. After every horrific thing he’s done to the people around you — including you — there’s nothing that actually shows if he loves you or only sees you as a pet. Edmund gulps and pulls his chair back quick enough for you to shudder. He stands up and walks over to your chair … holding out his hand. You stare at it blankly.
“Would … would you like to dance?” he asks
"Huh?" you ask, wondering if you could have heard wrongly.
"Dance with me."
You get pulled up on your feet by a strong force and almost crash into him. He squeezes your waist and positions the two of you for a dance. The music from the village is enough for him to find a rhythm and bring you into a trance. You can feel the guards glancing at you. 
“Don’t look at them”, Edmund whispers warningly. “Look at me instead.”
You turn your eyes to him and he smiles. His smile makes him look like his actual age and it makes you relax slightly. After all, he’s just a young man without guidance. You shake your head. No. Don't think like that, don't give him excuses.
"There you go", he says approvingly. "Keep your eyes on me. There's only you and me in this world — in our own world — no one else."
He twirls you around before gaining another tight grip on you. You're sure that you'll get bruises on your hips by the end of the dance. You let him take the lead, not knowing where you’ll end up, but you know better than to question any of Edmund’s decisions. 
“The guards, they’re looking at you”, he says without taking his icy blue eyes off of yours. “Gawking even. Wishing that they had what’s mine. Pretty pathetic, don’t you think? To be jealous of me? As if they could ever be on my level.”
“I’m not on your level either, Edmund”, you remind him quietly, hoping to make him realize how stupid he sounds. “Would you talk about me like that too?”
He looks dumbfounded. 
“You must have hit your head or something with all the absurd questions you’re asking today”, he mutters and rolls his eyes. “No one is on my level — of course — but you’re far, far better than any of the other people in this kingdom. Don’t try to insult yourself by saying that you’re like them ever again, Y/N. I don’t like that.”
He dances round and round, holding you as close as he possibly can against his chest. You’re practically molded against his body. 
“I’m so fucking obsessed with you, Y/N”, Edmund whispers in your ear. “You make me crazy. I can never let you go. You’re so perfect.”
His arms tighten around you and you start to wonder if he’s going to break your corset. In this world of your own, he will make sure that it is only you and him. Only you and him … in your own little shielded, exluded world.
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lorelune · 9 months
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(continuation here)
"do you remember me?"
"no."
blade stares at you, tilting his head to the side with a blank expression. you wish you could see any recognition on his face. but it's blank. nothing behind those eyes-- nothing for you, anyways. his hands twitch and itch in his binds. he's coiled, ready to strike. not you though.
(you can delude yourself into thinking that this makes you special. that him not pulling at his chains to hold a sword to your throat or squeezing your neck until it snaps, makes you different. perhaps his urges are curbed at the sight of you--)
(this is wishful thinking.)
he should, maybe you deserve it. it's your sin to bear and remember, maybe. you couldn't dare to tell jing yuan of all of... this, hence why your trip to the shackling prison was in secret. why you're holding your body so tightly.
"i thought so." but i hoped differently. you sigh.
"... why should i?" blade asks, voice hoarse and rough. you can't tell if its from disuse or overuse. he's lived too long.
"we knew each other, once."
('knew'. you're simplifying things for the sake of convenience. lessening the story you share, the lore you carry on your back like a uneroding stone. it's not like blade would care to hear it. you've read his file. he has only a few goals, which he doesn't hide upon interrogation. only one relates to the past, to a different face that you can only scorn along with him.)
(it's all in hate. anguish, under that. nothing of love. nothing at all.)
you laugh, weakly. it feels useless.
your phone vibrates in your pocket. you think it's jing yuan, without even looking at the message. probably wondering where you are. you're a few minutes late for your lunch date.
jing yuan knows this ache too, you think. he knows the feeling that's bloomed in your chest over the course of your visit. how each step that brought you closer to blade's cell pulled and tugged at your ribs like an overgrown flower. petals slicing flesh from the inside out.
(longing that would kill you, maybe. if you could die like that.)
"unsatisfied with my answer?" he asks. there's a soft quality to his voice, just for a breath. it makes you horribly nostalgic.
you need to leave.
"perhaps." you kick the scuffed metal of the floor. the sound rings out through the room as blade's chains jingle. like bells. "it was foolish of me to think you'd have any recollection of it."
"you seem unimportant to me."
it cuts through you. like a knife. as if you didn't once hold the world up for the man in front of you. as if you didn't beg and scream and raze anything in your path for his sake. as if you didn't bear his many burdens. as if you didn't labor to find something, anything, that could've prevented your fates. your current situation.
a prisoner and one freed. aeons know which of you is which.
"goodbye, yingxing." you don't know if he'll recognize his old name-- a name that isn't him anymore. your once-lover is simply a tool now, and he's taken the name of one. you knew this before you entered the prison. and yet--
(you ache with it.)
you turn away without taking in his expression. blade remains silent as you exit his cell.
(part of you prays he'll call out to you. that he'll sound like he once did. that there will be a kind reunion.)
(he doesn't.)
but that's alright, you tell yourself. it's misplaced hope after all. jing yuan is waiting for you, and you know he'll already have ordered your favorite dish. yanqing may join you, given the time of day. he would have just finished up his mornings spars.
all you have to do is compose yourself by the time you reach the general's favorite picnic spot.
(you almost collapse once you leave the shackling prison. the moment you are alone, tucked into an alleyway, you cover your mouth with your palm and weep. you cry until your chest hurts. you cry with a grief that guts you, as it always has. over and over.)
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rozaalright · 2 months
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Every detail I caught about revived q!Tubbo:
Sensitive to noise
Changes the subject a lot
Aggressive tendencies such as yelling
Uncontrollable emotions
Yearns to do something valuable
hates wasting precious time on unimportant things
possibly insecure?? always wants to know how people feel about him/if they hate him
has an urge to know who the residents think the worst parent is
Wants to be in control at all times
slight issues with memories (nothing drastic)
yearns for things to change
Isn't afraid of challenging authority
Murderous tendencies
Sense of justice
Knows something about q!Hideduo (they have "limited time")
What I've noticed is that most of these qualities are normal to qTubbo, but we can clearly tell that this person isn't the one from before.
He has the same skin, the same personality, the same connections with people, but he is the exaggerated version of the previous qTubbo.
He is quite literally just a carbon copy, a clone, recovered data. He is as if something tore apart the body and rebuilt it piece by piece. This is qTubbo, but with the incorrect formula.
We all know qTubbo is sick and tired of people taking things from him and pushing him around, that he loved his daughter, that he has low self-esteem and that he has plans for things, but those are just qTubbo's thoughts and feelings. After the revival it's as if qTubbo (instead of treating them like simple thoughts and wants) he is treating them like instructions.
"They WILL pay, they WILL learn, things WILL change" instead of "I want them to stop, I want things to change."
This qTubbo is just backed up data, nothing else. Its a shell that is acting like what qTubbo is, but it doesn't quite get it right. And we are not getting him back because this is him restored with backup data and ancient stone and it will continue to live on
(however I am very scared for the eggs and other residents because this tubbo doesn't really seem scared of anything, like he kept yelling and chayanne and even hit him so lets hope that it gets at least a little better lol)
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yandere-wishes · 10 months
Text
The Perfect Girl
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Summary: Somewhere along the line the villain won and the hero lost. Now your life is nothing more than a cautionary tale.
 Part #2 of Imposter Syndrome but can be read as a stand-alone. Part #3 The Spider's web
Warnings: Dollification, yandere themes but like more than usual, abuse, violence, horrible Spanish, NO NSFW but the reader and Miles are 18+. Friends to enemies to one sided lovers. This plays out as a cautionary tale. 
Author's note: Can you tell I'm bad at writing Intimacy??😂🤣
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You squirm uncomfortably on Miles's lap. Arms awkwardly thrown around his neck as you try to hide your face in his chest. Miles sits proudly, face void of emotions and voice overflowing with authority. He's barking orders to his underlings. For what you're not sure, you've long since stopped listening in on his conversations, your inability to do anything coupled with the innocent lives you know would be destroyed was enough to keep you awake at night. And consciousness was the last thing you wanted these days. 
It's been six weeks.
Six weeks since the Prowler defeated New York's last beacon of hope. Six weeks since he'd been welcomed into the Sinister Six as their newest member. They're shining star. 
Six weeks since he stole you away from everything you knew,
everything you loved.
You hear the padding of feet and the loud thump of the door. You're alone with him again. So the nightmare begins anew. You're reluctant to lift your head, to face your capturer. You hate him, you hate him, you hate him. It's funny how once, back when you'd still wore your beloved silk mask, you had used to count the minutes until your midnight rendezvous. 
Miles's fingers reach towards you, tilting your chin up. His smile is razor sharp, deformed as if he can't quite remember how to smile. "Muñequita" he mutters like a disjointed prayer as his fingers glide up your side. Drowning you in a sense of impending doom.
You stare into his eyes. Two voids that have seen every nightmare imaginable. Any saint, any sweet innocent boy whose been trapped inside the darkness for this long comes out as a monster. Stumbling through the night with knives instead of teeth and an appetite for destruction. Miles Morales may have been a human once, a long time ago. Before you met him, before the savior of New York met him. But now he's a monster, one who has long since buried any morals and dignity he may have once had.
Sometimes when the night rages on and you're caged between his arms and sentience. you wonder if maybe, just maybe you should go digging for any of the virtues that he's buried six feet deep. But when he laughs and tauntingly presses on a new bruise with his thumb, you conclude quickly that it's better to leave his good qualities dead. it's easier to hate him that way.
"How does it feel to sit in your arch nemesis's lap?" 
He jabs as he pinches your cheek. You let out a soft cry of annoyance as you shift your gaze away from your tormentor. 
Miles revels in your fall from grace. Adores pinching and probing you in front of his minions or the rest of his gang members. Loves taunting you after every failed escape attempt. You try to bite his finger, to make him feel a fraction of your pain. But before your teeth can graze his skin, he releases your cheek. He laughs, low and fragmentary. A haunting noise that reminds you that he barely counts as human anymore, just a heartless ghost masquerading as a real boy. "Trying to rebel again mi amor?". 
You fight the urge to pick at the flesh of your face or bite your fingers until you reach the bone. 
Miles's eyes narrow, annoyed at your lack of a response. He's growing bored, he always does when his pet refuses to play along. His gauntlet reaches for your neck. Squeezing as the claws bite into your flesh. 
you should let him kill you, give him the final satisfaction of watching your blood blemish the skin-tight dress he's made you wear. Watch as the life leaves your eyes. "let's try this again mami. When I ask, how it feels your response should be.."
"I love you Miles" you mutter, all deadpan and defaced. "Not like that say it the way I taught you" he hisses, a threat, you note wearily.
"Te amo Miles"
"Bino"
Sometimes you think that he's foolish enough to believe your reprised lie. It almost helps him deceive himself into believing he still has a soul left. 
He thinks he loves you. 
You think he doesn't know what love quite is. 
You use to be a hero, use to be revered and respected by all. You use to be someone, someone important. Laminating about all of this now will do you no good. 
You're nothing more than a doll now. Painted and dressed the way Miles likes, posed forever perfectly on his lap. Flaunted and paraded as all prize trophies should be. You guess it makes sense. To the victor goes the spoils. You wonder if you would have done the same to him if you had emerged triumphant that night. Deep down, where logic doesn't reach, you know you would. At least you would have let him keep his dignity. You're not like him, you're not a villain...
But you're not a hero anymore either. What are you supposed to be anyway? When questions like this bubble into your withering mind. You force yourself to choke down the idea that you're still good, you have to be. You're not like him, like them. You're afraid that someday you'll look in the mirror and every ounce of your virtues will have evaporated. You promise yourself that that'll be the day you do something drastic. To yourself or Miles, you're not sure yet. 
Miles's fingers trace the indents on your neck. Angry red puncture holes left by his steel claws. He buries his face in the crock of your neck. Licking the measly blood drops from the wounds before tenderly kissing his territory. "Stop it" you grumble trying to push at his chest. But he just growls in warning, ignoring your feeble attempts. "I got you a present, Mami" he whispers over your jugular. You flinch, as he detaches from your neck with a final kiss. He maneuvers you off his lap as he gets up and walks over to a closet on the other side of the room. Plucking out a necklace from one of the drawers. 
Necklace is a generous term. Its neck tight and studded. With a silver chain hanging dead-center that speaks of horrors untold. You know what it implies, you know what he's trying to say, trying to prove. You never thought you'd miss the Prowler's iron glad punches to your stomach but you think this might just be worst. At least back then you'd been able to fight back. Reimburse every punch with a kick or stab of your own. Now you are helpless, frail. Broken glass perpetually embedded in soft cotton. Something wild, something tamed. Golden specks of a crown long since shattered tint your hair. All ghosts of who you once were.  
"What do you say, muñequita," He says. In a tone that's sick, in a tone that's sweet. Like rotten nectar trickling down a destroyed paradise. Like boiling blood dripping from a broken heart. There's a click, as he fastens his present around your neck. An endless second before reality comes crashing in. 
"Gracias Miles" You reply as you feel your last shard of freedom disintegrate. 
You use to be something, someone. Carved from porcelain ideals and ivory hope. Divine ichor ran through your veins as you swung across New York's skyline. You had been chosen, but you hadn't been enough.
Now it feels like someone tore you apart. Ripped away your flesh, your bones, your thoughts, your soul. Stitched you up wrong with a rusted needle and a thread of ash. And all you could do was sit there and watch as your golden blood seeped through ruptured veins.
Miles grabs your shoulders. Pulling you close enough so the spikes of your necklace cut into his flesh. His lips bite yours teasingly before they finally merge into a dreadful kiss. He isn't the Prowler you remember, albeit you know that's wrong. He's not the Prowler you had fabricated when you'd thought that the two of you were both innocent souls driven to madness by this city. You use to think that Miles was beautiful, a moon-kissed face with stardust dripping from his eyes. Now you know the truth. He's nothing more than a nightmare, the embodiment of starless darkness and the terrors that lurk upon blackened city streets. He's not your friend. He never was. You were just so foolish and overwhelmed back then. 
"You're mine, héroe." His voice is nothing short of a dagger laced with venom. Spreading apathetic poison from your heart to your lungs and leaking into your bloodstream. You see blood behind your eyes when your eyelids shut. Feel the apprehension pounding in the hollows of your bones. 
You've long since hemmed every hole where your pride and glory use to bleed through. But it's so hard to keep divinity down when it's all you've ever known. This life isn't yours. This thing that Miles has forced you to be isn't you. There's still hope, you think. Heroes never lose hope. It's a lesson everyone learns, sooner or later. 
Later that night Miles kisses you again, this time whispering how to him you are perfection personified. The dark circles under your eyes and bloody knuckles validate that. He traces circles on your arms whilst telling you about how the Sinister Six plan to expand their operations to the next city over. All this makes you wonder if he'd ever been a sweet little boy, tucked under his mother's arm, whilst his father kisses his cheek. Of if he's always been a merciless monster who wears his kills like honor badges. 
You pray under your breath as he reminds you that you're no longer a hero. You wonder if you pray because you are human or if praying makes you human. There are still some fragments of hope bubbling inside you regardless of what he says. 
Miles likes to remind you that you no longer have the power to save anyone. That the villains won and the heroes lost and that's the way this story ends. 
You refuse to believe him. 
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natsarrownecklacx · 11 months
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Study Break
Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Word Count- 1,627
Summary- You’ve been spending to much time studying and not enough time with Natasha.
Warnings- Smut. Minors DNI. Natasha has a dick. Orgasm denial. R being used like a toy. Semi rough sex. I think that’s it
ⴵ <3 ⴵ <3 ⴵ <3 ⴵ <3 ⴵ <3 ⴵ <3 ⴵ <3 ⴵ <3 ⴵ <3 ⴵ
It’s exam season. Again. It seems like only a few weeks ago that Natasha had to spend days away from you, so that you could study. But no, it’s exam season again and Natasha hates it.
She hates how you spend all day working yourself to exhaustion. She hates how you could go the whole day without taking a break, eating or drinking water. She hates that she has to go days, sometimes a week or two, without getting to spend any actual quality time with you.
What she hates most of all right now though, is that she can’t seem to get rid of her hard on, no matter what she does.
She’d woken up with it this morning. She’s had morning wood before, of course she had, but this time it was different. She was hornier, more desperate than she remembers ever waking up before and she was hard to the point of bordering pain.
Grunting, Natasha had rolled over, ready and willing to lose all her pride in an attempt to persuade you to help her with her problem. But you’d been gone to your study room before she’d even woke.
She’d tried all day to leave you in peace, to fix her problem on her own. But nothing she did worked. She’d tried to sate herself with her hand, with your teddy, she’d even pulled out a video of you grinding on a pillow to help her along. But nothing worked, every time she tried to satisfy herself her hunger would only come back tenfold.
Which is what’s led Natasha to where she is now. Making her way to your study room, her eyes narrowed in determination, her breathing heavy as she thinks of the one and only thing that will give her any sort of relief. You. Or rather, the warmth between your legs.
Natasha pushes open the door of the study, a low growl passing her lips when you’d don’t even look up from your notes.
You hadn’t heard her come in, too preoccupied with the endless notes and facts in front of you. Nor did you hear it when she stomped her way toward you. But you did feel it when she ripped your chair away from the desk, spun the chair for you to face her and pulled you up from it.
“Natasha!” You gasp, exasperated and confused. “What’s going on?”
Natasha picks you up, ignoring your words, and throws you over her shoulder. Without uttering a word she walks out of the room and toward your shared bedroom. You continue to voice your protests and confusion about Natasha’s actions as she makes her way down the hall.
“Hush!” Natasha demands, pushing open the bedroom door. “You’re in no position to speak.”
She sounds on edge, frustrated, angry almost. But you can’t for the life of you think of a single thing you could have done to have her be angry with you.
“You’ve been depriving me.” Natasha says, throwing you down on the bed and immediately moving to pull your clothes from your body.
You can’t help but gasp at the feral look in her eyes as she does so. You don’t quite know what she’s talking about, but whatever it is she obviously feels very passionately about it.
“Natasha I-.” You try to ask, only for her to cut you off. “No.” She growls. “You’ve deprived me these last few days.” She says again, making quick work of riding you both of all your clothes before crawling on top of you and roughly pinning your hands above your head.
“You’ve deprived me of your cuddles at night.”
Leaning down Natasha takes one of your nipples into her mouth, sucking on the bud until your back is arching into her touch. Then she pulls away, the feral look in her eyes increasing when she hears the needy sound that falls from your lips.
You feel her hard cock press against the side of your thighs and you have to fight the urge to close your legs around the member and hump into it.
“You’ve deprived me of your pretty smile in the mornings.”
Making her way downwards Natasha settles over your pussy, smiling against you when she feels you buck your hips toward her mouth.
She licks through your folds, the wet from her tongue mixing with the growing wetness between yours legs. Slowly, she glides her tongue over your clit, once, twice and a third time before bringing the bundle of nerves into her mouth and sucking.
“Natasha.” You pant, bringing your hand to rest on the back of her head. “Please.”
Natasha almost feels bad for pulling away from your cunt, the desperate whine that falls from your lips only proving how badly you need release. But this isn’t about your pleasure, it's about hers. She’d only done what she did to ensure you’d be wet enough for her to slide inside without resistance, just the way she likes it.
“Oh but you’ve been depriving me, sweet girl.” Something in Natasha’s eyes turns sinister, an almost evil smirk taking hold of her face.
“And you’ve been depriving me of the warmth between your legs for too long.”
Before you even have time to process her words Natasha enters you in one swift movement, causing your head to throw back against the bed, your back aching up and a moan to fall past your lips.
She sets herself a slow pace, fucking into you as deep as she can, wanting to feel every inch of your walls as they drag against her cock. She sighs above you, tilting her head back and letting a strangled “fuck” to fall past her lips along with a groan.
She slides her hands up your thighs trailing your skin and groping you until her hands rest on your hips. She uses her grip there to hold you down, allowing her to fuck into you like her own personal flesh light. Just the perfect warm and wet place for her to put her dick.
It’s not until Natasha hears you moan that she comes back to herself. Her head straightens out, her eyes snapping down to meet your gaze.
She leans down, allowing her body to completely cover yours, every inch of her touching you. “I’ve been patient with you, trying to support you in your studies but I won’t let you deprive me of this any longer.”
Natasha gives a particularly rough thrust into you, as if to prove her words true. She pants in your ear, bringing her hand down to rub slow circles against your clit. She just adores the way you squeeze her when she puts pressure on the bundle of nerves.
But it seems as though you get the wrong idea from Natasha’s ministrations. Your breathing picks up, your eyes squeeze shut and a deep moan falls past your lips. You try to lift your hips, to increase the pressure of Natasha fingers on your clit, but the redhead stops you by pressing down firmly on your hips, keeping you in place.
“This isn’t for you, Angel.” Natasha sighs against the skin of your neck. “This is for me, to make me feel good. So just lie still for me like a good girl and take it.”
You whine at Natasha's words, wanting more than anything to be able to come. You continue to try to lift your hips toward hers, too desperate for release to let your building orgasm fade away.
A guttural moan falls past your lips, your head falling back as you pant. “God. Natasha, please.”
“No!” Natasha snaps, lifting her body from yours. She picks up her pace, thrusting into you at a speed that has your body shifting up the bed with each thrust. “You’ve been selfish, baby. Spending days and days away from me as if it won't affect me.”
Somewhere in the back of your head you register a bit of guilt hearing Natasha’s words but the way her dick fucks into has your brain turning to mush, keeping you from voicing your regret at neglecting the redhead.
“Well now it’s my turn to be selfish.” Natasha takes her hand away from your clit, using her free hand to push open your thighs and leaving it there, pinning your leg open.
“Oh god.” You moan, feeling Natasha hit a spot inside you you're not even sure you knew existed. You squeeze around Natasha, moving her closer to the edge. “Fuck, Detka. Do that again.”
Natasha hits a spot inside you that had you clenching around her and continues to abuse the spot. Incoherent pleas and moans fall past your lips while Natasha keeps using you.
“I’m gonna come.” Natasha moans above you. “Fuck, baby. I’m gonna come inside you.”
You moan hearing Natasha’s words, the idea of being filled by her causing you to arch your back and clench around her.
Natasha cries out above you, giving one more rough thrust before releasing her load inside you. She leans down to rest her head against your shoulder, riding out her high, moaning in your ear about how good it feels to be inside you.
Natasha pulls out of you and flops down next to you on the bed, her breathing heavy as she stares up at the ceiling with a content smile on her face.
You whine, frustrated with being denied. You turn to face her with a pleading look in your eyes only for her to laugh at your attempt of getting her to allow you to come.
“I’m sorry, Detka.” Natasha says, maneuvering you to lie on her chest. “But only good girls get to come. Maybe if you don’t neglect me all day tomorrow I’ll reward you.”
ⴵ <3 ⴵ <3 ⴵ <3 ⴵ <3 ⴵ <3 ⴵ <3 ⴵ <3 ⴵ <3 ⴵ <3 ⴵ
A/n- hope you guys like the fic, I wrote it really fast so pls excuse any mistakes n stuff
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dilfsfordinner · 7 months
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𝐚/𝐧- i like to think that gojo found megumi when he was a toddler instead of six years old, so in this, megumi acts a little younger, like around four
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Going to Ikea at 7 o’clock at night wasn’t something you had ever imagined yourself doing, especially over a tantrum a particular black haired boy had thrown, and yet you found yourself roaming the aisles with him strapped into the shopping cart, your sunglass clad companion trailing alongside you, insisting on pointing out every single thing he spotted that would look amazing in your shared home.
Your slow pace of pushing the cart around the maze of a store had Megumi’s patience running thin, his already sour mood turning brattier by the minute, his chubby little face contorting into a tried angry expression, one which he thought looked intimidating but was actually just the cutest little pout, a fact you kept to yourself to prevent him from throwing another crying fit.
The whole reason for your journey occurred when Megumi’s old bunny stuffed animal finally kicked the bucket at dinner, the blue rabbit’s head unraveling from its body as Megumi just watched in horror, yours and Gojo’s mouths open in a silent gape as his favorite toy was reduced to nothing but a pile of threads. It was bound to happen one day, its drool stained fur and tattered limbs clear signs of impending death which you knew of course, but it was still quite surprising to watch unfold in real time. You’d tried to sew it back together but nothing worked, so alas, Gojo picked up the sobbing Megumi and the three of you set out to acquire a new stuffie.
Spotting the decor section, Gojo gently pulled Megumi from his seat before setting him down, ruffling his hair, an incredulous scoff leaving him at the boy’s irritated scowl. “Alright Megs, go pick one out,” you said softly, bending to pat his back, urging him forward, his expression going blank before a toothy grin pulled at his lips, eyes almost bugging out of his head at the sight of the shelves worth of stuffed animals, the cutest squeal spilling from his mouth before he darted toward the colorful display.
“Which one do you think he’s gonna pick?” Gojo said with a grin plastered to his face, both of your gazes glued to Megumi’s excited actions of grabbing a stuffed animal, testing its “quality”, and then putting it back, the cycle continuing through every animal present. “Mmm.. the panda,” you said lightly, turning away from Megumi to look up at your man, his beautiful eyes finally visible as his glasses rested on his nose. He was watching little ‘gumi, not realizing the way you admired him. “I think he’s a shark boy”, Gojo said, head tilting to you, eyes flitting from your eyes to your lips before that familiar smirk landed on his face.
“No. I know that look Satoru and I’m not doing it,” looking away from his troublesome expression, you returned to pushing the cart along the dimly lit aisle, examining some oddly shaped sculptures as you felt that warm presence looming behind you, strong arms snaking around your waist before his chin rested on your shoulder, his hair tickling your cheek.
He knew how much you hated pda, (even though there wasn’t a soul in sight) it was his way of coercing you into agreeing to his wish. “C’mon, I promise I won’t bleed you dry this time,” he practically purred in your ear, his pretty voice almost lolling you to sleep. Relaxing in his hold, you considered his proposition, an idea popping into your head, one that would for sure make him regret ever asking. “Alright, fine. I bet 200 he picks the panda.”
At your words, Gojo’s eyebrows shot up, mouth slightly falling open at the fact that you actually agreed to gamble with him, and that that was the highest amount you had ever offered to wager. “Confident today, huh?” he quipped before clasping your hand in his own, shaking it as his eyes narrowed, that grin making an appearance again, “200 it is.”
Tsking, you shook your head, about to dig into Satoru some more to be careful when going against you but a tiny grunt interrupted, the two of you turning to see a huge brown bear being held up by two little arms, black hair peeking out from behind the massive stuffed animal as Megumi hauled the thing to your feet.
“Sweetie..” you laughed under your breath, crouching to brush away the hair from his face, “You don’t want a different one? A.. smaller one?” Megumi’s big eyes stared into your own, shaking his head at your offer, “I want him,” he giggled, hugging the bear closer. You looked to Gojo for help before he bent to pick up the giant thing, depositing it into the cart, doing the same to Megumi. “He’s a perfect choice, baby,” you smiled, kissing his cheek as he tried to grab below him to feel his new fluffy friend, the three of you setting off to finish at the front.
“Pay up, handsome” you smiled, your hand nudging Gojo’s chest as he looked down at you, eyes flitting to your open palm which rested in front of him as the two of you walked. Laughing to himself, his eyes narrowed teasingly, “We were both wrong, dummy,” he flicked your forehead, continuing to push the cart until your arm wrapped around his own, stopping his strides completely.
“A panda is a type of bear, dummy, which he chose, so pay up,” you said again, his features blanking as you just curled your fingers in a ‘give me’ motion. Surprised by your boldness, he let out an exasperated laugh, begrudgingly pulling his wallet out, fingers tightening around the two, crisp 100 dollar bills as he sighed, shoving them into your palm and grumbling at your coy expression, his tongue pushing against his cheek to prevent a smile from pulling at his lips, shaking his head as you just simpered a ‘thanks’ and took up the cart to keep walking, 200 dollars richer with a happy little boy in tow.
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starlitmark · 6 months
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𝕽𝖊𝖉 𝕮𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘 𝕭𝖊𝖙𝖜𝖊𝖊𝖓 𝕻𝖆𝖌𝖊𝖘 (𝖒𝖞 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖆𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖘)
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Summary: Being in a polyamorous relationship can take a toll on a person; Jongho just happened to be the one to uncork the bottle. Pairing: Seonghwa x San x fem!reader x Yeosang x Jongho Tropes: hybrid au, poly au, established relationship au Genre: fluff, angst, suggestive Rating: PG 13 Warnings: language, anxiety, stress, mentions of unhealthy self-care habits, reader described as smaller than all members and has blue eyes (bunny quality), minor injury, mentions of sex, kissing Word Count: 6,164 Note: your favorite Thunder is back! <3 thank you to @mejuii and @downtoamagicalland for beta reading as always <3
Listen to: Put It Straight by (G)-Idle ♡ As I Am (feat. Khalid) by Justin Bieber ♡ I GUESS I’M IN LOVE by Clinton Kane
Series Masterlist
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You’ve been holed up in your workspace almost all day. You have been for a few days now. The only times you ever emerge are to shower and get some form of nourishment in your body. The influx of orders you had for your shop came out of nowhere, and you’re struggling to keep up with what needs to be done. All three of your boyfriends are worried about you, to say the least. San hasn’t been around much due to a merger he’s been working on, and Yeosang has been running around like a chicken with his head cut off, trying to get everything arranged for a new project that could make or break a lot of things for him. Seonghwa has been around, though. Just yesterday, he decided to stay home from the shop and sketch while you worked on crafting a rather detailed necklace. 
You’re so lost in what you’re creating that you hardly register the knock on your door. So when it pops open, you drop your half-done chain making the individual links scatter across the desk. Despite the urge to break down right then and there, you take a deep breath and recollect yourself. When you look up, you’re met with a very concerned-looking purple dragon.
“Treasure, you’ve been in here all day… have you eaten anything?” San asks with a worried tone.
“I’m fine.” You give him a tight-lipped smile, “I need to finish this bracelet by tomorrow and get it shipped out.”
San steps closer and squats down beside you. Even with him squatting, he’s barely below your eye level. It only serves to remind you how much smaller you are than them. Your silver-eyed boyfriend reaches to take your hands in his. At first, he doesn’t think anything of the tension rings along your fingers. He knows it helps you from cramping up too quickly. Then he takes in the small pinches and cuts on your fingertips and palms.
“Treasure, you should take a break. I’m worried about you. We all are.” He tries to reason with you.
“I’ll come to eat after this project is done, promise.” You offer, taking your hand to run over some of his scales along his cheekbone.
“You better have eaten a well-balanced meal and drank at least three glasses of water by the time I get back from my meeting,” He bluntly reminds you.
“I’ll do my best to do that.” You chuckle while playfully saluting him.
He stands back up to his full height, “I love you, and I hate to see you so overworked.” He sighs, placing a kiss against the base of one of your bunny ears.
“I love you too. I promise I’ll leave this room at some point.”
Some point becomes hours later when Seonghwa forces you out of the room even though the bracelet is still incomplete. San walks back in the door, Yeosang beside him, as you’re nibbling on a veggie wrap. Seonghwa is sitting beside you eating as well to make you feel less alone in your activity. San has a small bit of smoke curling out of his lip that he tries to stop you from seeing. It doesn’t work, though. Yeosang whispers something that seems to soothe the purple dragon before they both walk over to you. 
“How’s your project coming?” Yeosang asks innocently.
“Still not done….” You sigh, bunny ears falling back against your hair, “It was supposed to be done today so I could ship it out tomorrow….”
“And it’s okay that you didn’t finish it today.” Seonghwa offers, “You own your own business, and sometimes you need to know your limits on what can be done.”
“But-”
“No buts,” San adds, “you did what you could today. That’s all that matters.”
You nod silently and take another small bite out of your wrap before placing it down on the plate again. When you get stressed like this, you hardly want to eat anything. You know it’s an unhealthy habit, but it’s just how you function. Despite your quiet state, your three boyfriends seem to easily flow through conversation. Some sort of ugly jealousy curls through your stomach. The way they seem to fit together easily without any seams makes you feel almost out of place in a way. You’re not willing to address that with your current state of mind, though.
“Hops,” Yeosang calls quietly; you look up at him, “You didn’t hear me, did you?” He chuckles sweetly, “Who do you want to crash with tonight?”
You nibble at your lower lip, “I think I’ll stay in my nest tonight.”
“Do you want one or more of us to–” You cut Seonghwa off before he can finish his question.
“No!” You blurt out, “I want to sketch out some more projects, and I’d hate to keep you up.”
“You know that won’t bother us, treasure.” San reminds you, “I’d much rather you get some good rest than workshop more projects.”
“I’ll be fine, San, I promise.” You stand up abruptly, ignoring the (barely) half-eaten wrap. “Good night boys. Love you!”
You bolt to the room your nest and work area are in. The moment you firmly shut the door, you sit down at your desk and hunch over the same bracelet you’ve been working on all day.
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Even after slaving over projects for the next two days, it feels like you’ve made no progress. You’re pacing back and forth in your studio and nest space, hoping that inspiration strikes you to at least finish one project. A soft knock sounds on your door again. This time Yeosang is the one who pops his head through the doorway. You’re worrying on the edge of your ear and continue pacing even though you feel your boyfriend’s worried eyes on you. 
“Hops,” His low voice sounds through the space, “Sannie and Hwa already headed out for the day. They thought you were still sleeping when they were leaving.” He explains.
“I’ve been up for a while.” You respond flatly, “I need to get this shit done.”
Yeosang is slightly taken aback. You’ve never been one to curse. So to hear you say such a word was not what he was expecting to come from your mouth. He steps closer and grabs you gently to stop you from pacing anymore. You look up at him and see the worry swirling in his green eyes. He pulls you into a hug. You’ve come to learn that he’s not very physically affectionate outside your heat. So the fact that he has you wrapped in a hug, your face buried in his chest, means a lot. His minty scent invades your senses, giving you a momentary feeling of peace. That lingering panic and fear creeps back into you when he pulls away.
“Take a break from your projects, Hops.” He reminds you, “Stepping away from a project can do wonders sometimes.”
You nod, “I will.”
It may be a half-truth, but you don’t want to worry him if you don’t need to. He places a soft kiss against the top of your head and takes another step back.
“I have to go meet a client. Unfortunately, all three of us are out of the house for the rest of the day.” He sighs, “I should be back around dinner time. San said he has a business dinner tonight, and Seonghwa is closing the shop today since Yun is off.”
“I’m a big bunny,” You try to joke, “I can take care of myself.”
“I know, little one,” He smiles softly, “Just giving you the rundown for the day. I’ll see you at dinner, okay?”
“Okay.” You nod, your snow-white ears twitching slightly when he gently scratches the base of them.
Yeosang is out the door, and a few moments later, you hear the front door of the penthouse close too. You debate your options for a few moments before deciding to get a drink before returning to work. You aren’t fully sure who’s home right now. At least you know Yunho is home. You’re about ninety percent sure Mingi is at his university lecturing right now. It’s likely that Wooyoung is at his dance studio, and you haven’t seen Hongjoong in about three days. When you get to the kitchen, you find that Jongho is home too. He’s sitting at the small breakfast bar sipping on a mug of tea. You shuffle behind him, being sure not to knock into his deep blue tail. You reach up into the cabinet to get a glass when you feel a hand on your shoulder. You nearly jump out of your skin and end up dropping the glass, causing it to shatter on the counter. Immediately, Yunho moves to make sure you’re okay and explains he wasn’t trying to scare you. Your fight-or-flight instincts kick in, and you’re already down the hall and back in your nest. The first thing you can think to do is grab the duffle bag and start stuffing clothing into it. Tears are threatening to fall from your eyes, but you hold them back for now. You can smell the two men that are home. They’re still down the hallway. However, your senses are out of sorts due to your panicked state. 
Again, a knocking sounds on the door frame. You whip your head around, and your ears twitch around, trying to find one sound to focus on. Your nose twitches even more as you take in the dark blue dragon standing in the doorway. Jongho steps into the space when you don’t speak, knowing you need someone to calm you down. He would have never breached your space without your permission had you been more stable mentally. 
“Where are you off to?” He asks gently.
That’s when your tears burst through fully. You start sobbing and find yourself face-first in Jongho’s sweater before you can stop yourself. He awkwardly wraps his arms around you and tries to soothe you. The room is only filled with sniffles and loud sobs as you stand there in the golden-eyed dragon’s arms. You’re completely unaware of how long you cry in his arms, but when you finally slow to a sniffle, you pull your face away from his sweater. There’s a large wet spot from the amount of crying you just did. There’s a bit of snot, too, which you cringe at and immediately try to wipe off with your own sweater. You can feel his strong chest beneath the fluffy material, but your mental state is hardly focused on the dragon’s physique. Your head is pounding from crying, which doesn’t help the situation at all. Jongho still has his arms wrapped around you, securing you in your spot.
“You need to talk about anything?” He offers quietly.
“Are you sure you want to hear all of that?” You chuckle, trying to downplay your emotions.
“You need it. We both know that.” He sighs, not letting you divert anything.
Suddenly you’re very aware of his arms wrapped around you and how comforting it feels. You find yourself nodding at him.
“Do you want to go to a neutral space, or are you comfortable right here?” He searches your pale blue eyes for any discomfort as he asks.
You appreciate how respectful of your boundaries he’s being. You know you need this, and he does too. Damn him and his phenomenal therapist skills. 
“We can stay here…” You bite your lip, debating whether or not you want to ask him a specific question or not. You decide to throw caution to the wind and ask. “Do- do you um… could we-”
“What’s up Hops?”
“Well… I’m kind of all over the place, and… do you care if we cuddle while I vent?”
“Would that make you feel more comfortable?” he asked again.
You nod, “It would…”
“In your nest?”
“Yeah… if that’s okay.”
“Lead the way.”
Jongho releases you from his hold and allows you to get comfortable in bed where your nest is before he approaches it. You shift a little bit allowing Jongho to climb in beside you. The dragon is slightly stiff as he gets semi-comfortable. You snuggle close to him, which makes him melt beneath you. He wraps an arm around you and sighs with a small smile on his face.
“What’s on that mind of yours, Hops?” He asks once you’re both comfortable. 
“A lot of things… where should I start?”
“Wherever you want to.” He offers, small vines wrapping around his fingers as you get more comfortable.
“I feel like an outsider.” You admit, “And like a failure…”
“What makes you say that? You have your fluffle, and you’re part of the Thunder now. You have a successful business making jewelry.”
“I haven’t been able to finish a single project for days now, and I feel horrible. These people are waiting for me to finish these pieces for them and-” You start crying again. 
“Take your time.” He reminds you, “Do you wanna hear my two cents on this, or do you want to continue what you were saying.”
“You can talk.” You sniffle, burying your face against his sweater.
He wraps his arm around you tighter. The small vines tickle against your jaw lightly as his fingers hold your shoulder. You find yourself sinking further into his touch subconsciously.
“Here’s what I think.” He starts, “Everyone has their own threshold. When you reach that threshold, you can’t do it anymore. You need a break. Your limit is different from mine and different from the others in the Thunder. You need to give yourself breaks, Hops.”
“I know, but-”
“No buts, bunny.”
“But, Jongho…” You pout, “You’re super successful in your career, San owns a whole monopoly, Seonghwa and Yunho own a tattoo shop-”
“And you have a very successful jewelry business.” He stops you mid-sentence, “Just cause we have more income doesn’t mean that you’re unsuccessful.”
You nod and nibble at your lip. You feel a thumb against your lip, gently pulling it from between your teeth. When you look up at Jongho, you see him giving you a gentle, borderline endearing look. It steals your breath away for a moment. Your ears go lax as you maintain eye contact with the navy dragon. You take note of how his navy scales frame his face perfectly and how they contrast against his bright red hair. Suddenly, you snap back to reality and shake your head slightly to ground yourself.
“I know that but still…”
“Still what?” He prods lightly.
“You guys seem actually to get work done, and I’m still fighting with this same necklace that I’ve been working on all week. I have a damn sketch of the thing, and I can’t even do it.” You groan.
“What’s on paper doesn’t always convey in practice. Have you tried looking at it or approaching it a new way?” He asks, his thumb gently caressing your arm as he speaks.
“... No…” You admit, gaze dropping down to your fingers,  “I’ve been very set on the style, and my customer really likes the design I sketched…”
“And it’s your business.” He reminds you, “If you need to rework things because it’s impossible to do in practice, they need to understand that or lose their deposit on the art.”
You nod silently. Jongho notices you remain quiet after providing his two cents on your situation. There’s far more to your issue, and he knows it. He moves his navy blue tail to be draped over his thigh and, by proxy, wrap around yours. The tip of it rests against your lower back. And while you’re used to dragon tails resting against you, Jongho’s tail feels almost foreign to you but absolutely not unwelcomed. 
“I know that’s not all, bun.” He sighs, letting the arm wrapped around you hold you just a bit tighter, “What else is going through that mind of yours?”
You look up at him and see his golden eyes fixated on you, “I don’t think you want to hear about my relationship right now.”
“I want you to feel better.” He assures, “Tell me what’s going on.”
You find yourself curling closer to the dragon and tucking your head just below his chin. You feel a few scales along his jaw, but it’s nothing that bothers you. After all, you live here with them almost all the time now; you’re no stranger to scales touching you. Your ears are pushed back and lying flat against your hair overtop Jongho’s arm. You feel him relax further after his initial tensing. 
“Well… about a week ago, we were, um…” You didn’t know how to phrase it to him.
“You were having sex, okay. What went wrong to make you feel so uncomfortable and try to run away today?”
“How did you know I was gonna say that?” You try to deflect.
Jongho chuckles airily, “You're going to tell me I’m wrong?” You don’t answer, “So, what happened that got you to this point.”
You sigh and debate whether you want to let it all out or tell him just to forget about it. It wasn’t that big a deal, right? Jealously happens in relationships. Jealousy looks different in yours because instead of two people, there are five. 
“Smells like burnt cookies.” Jongho points out, “Just say it before you end up smelling like a burnt kitchen rather than overbaked cookies.” He teases lightly.
“I feel like an outsider in my own relationship.”
“Okay, why do you feel like that? You know San, Seonghwa, and Yeosang would burn the world to the ground if you asked them.”
You feel the tears well up in your eyes again. One escapes and lands on Jongho’s barely damp sweater. Though you know, Jongho can’t see your eyes with your face tucked under his chin. He does seem to know you’re having an emotional hurricane internally. You feel his tail press a bit harder against your body as if to mock some weighted blanket to help you relax.
“They just seem so happy together. I felt like after that very awkward sex that I was just a hookup again.”
“That bad?” He sighs, “I know you know how the Thunder functioned before San and Seonghwa brought you home. Hell, Yunho, and Mingi are worse than you’re polycule sometimes.” He lightens the air, “Remember, you’re the glue that holds those boys together. Yes, they would casually hook up with each other before you were introduced to us, but the dates, talking about how they feel, regulating their schedules… Hops, that’s all thanks to your influence on this Thunder. It feels like I’ve tried to have interventions more often with them than with my clients. Something about you made it click, though.”
“Jongho?”
“Yeah?”
You don’t know what overtakes you, but you untuck your face from his chest and kiss his cheek. You realize what you’ve done after you see Jongho’s slightly shocked expression. Your nose starts to twitch as panic rises in your throat again. Jongho’s strong hold keeps you in your place, along with his tail still lying across your legs and along your back. 
“It’s okay, bun.” He assures, “You just surprised me. If you want to ask something when you’re in the right headspace, you can do so. You’re not in a completely clear or stable mental place right now, though.”
You nod, “Sorry,”
“Nothing to apologize for. Come back here and get comfy again.” He offers, “You rant, and I’ll listen.”
You tuck yourself back against the dark blue dragon and almost feel like you’re at home in his arms. A tug in your heart makes itself known. Of course, it would now, when you’re in the midst of emotional and relational turmoil. Jongho smooths a hand over your hair and ears as you start rambling about everything that’s been bothering you. From missing your fluffle to work to your boyfriends’ dynamic. You feel small amounts of weight press against your hair.
“What’s in my hair?” You ask, “I feel something.”
“I’m weaving flowers in.” He says casually, “Do you want me to take them out?” 
“N-no,” You feel the heat of a blush rush to your face, “Tell me about the flowers.”
“There’s a few red carnations, that’s all. Some are full blooms, others are half-blooms. They look nice against your hair. I like the contrast from how pure white your ears are too.”
You pull your body to be sitting up. Jongho is still lying down, and his eyebrows scrunch together in confusion.
“You can put them and more flowers in my hair all you want. I’m giving you more space to work with while I talk.” You explain, “I like that you’re playing with my hair.”
A smile graces his lips, and you barely see his fangs peek out. He conjures a small bouquet of little dainty pink and white flowers. One moment there was nothing there, and the next, the flowers were in his hand.
“So, as I was saying, I love my boyfriends, but it’s hard not to feel excluded when they know each other like their favorite things in the world. It really hurt me when I saw San and Yeosang cuddling while Seonghwa tossed the wet wipes at me. I know I’m newest to whatever dynamics were happening here before, but…” You interrupt yourself with a sigh, “I’m still their girlfriend, and it doesn’t feel like it sometimes.”
Jongho accidentally tugs at your hair while braiding a flower into it, making you yelp slightly.
“Sorry,” He quickly apologizes, “I know it hurts to just feel like a side piece in your relationship. You also need to communicate how you’re feeling, though. I know, ironic when you have three emotionally constipated dragon boyfriends, but it’s true.”
“I just don’t want to make them mad at me…”
“If they get mad at you for having normal emotions, then I’ll personally make them each a batch of poison ivy tea when I refill the tea satchels.”
You giggle lightly and feel Jongho move your hair over your shoulder, signifying that he’s done meticulously intertwining each flower with your hair. You turn around and face him. He’s sitting criss-cross in your nest still. His golden eyes practically melt you as he gives you an affectionate look. Those tugs at your heart return, this time accompanied by a tornado of butterflies in your stomach.
“You feel better now?” He asks softly.
You nod, “I needed that a lot more than I realized.”
He opens his arms, “You still look like you need some comforting before you talk to your boys.”
You climb into his lap, slotting your legs around his hips, and feel his strong arms wrap around your waist in a tight hug. You bury your face in the crook of his neck. Your nose fills with his book scent, and it instantly relaxes you. You don’t break away even when you hear the penthouse door open and click shut again. You’re so engulfed in his scent you don’t even know who’s returning to the lair. Jongho’s arms tighten around you even more. Then, you process the sniffles you’re letting out. You’re not even sure if you’re feeling the emotional aftermath of the day or if you’re nervous about the confrontation later, but you’re sniffling back tears again. Your tears slide down Jongho’s neck and along the snake tattoo that looks as if it’s curling around his collarbone. He doesn’t say anything about it. He doesn’t question why you’re crying or make any comment to stop you from feeling what you do. He lets you feel. It’s just what you need right now. 
“What’s this?” You hear San snarl.
You tense in Jongho’s hold. Fight or flight instincts beg you to bolt for the door, even if San grabs you in the process. The only thing stopping you is Jongho’s arms holding you in place. Suddenly, Jongho rips a flower out of your hair. You yelp at the sudden movement and then see the navy dragon shaking out a singed red carnation. You know San didn’t mean any harm to you. When he was pissed, he tended to lose complete control of what he did with his magic.
“Hops.” He snarls, “I need to talk to you. Alone. Now.”
He hasn’t called you that since you officially started dating him. Hearing the neutral nickname sounds foreign to your ears in the worst way possible. You’ve never seen him direct his anger at you, either. Your heart rate spikes again, and your nose twitches at the speed of light. Subconsciously you grip onto Jongho, maybe to try to soothe yourself. You don’t want to think too hard about why it was comforting to you.
“Talk to him. It’ll be okay. If not, remember what I told you.” He ends his sentence with a slight chuckle.
You nod and climb out of Jongho’s lap. Your eyes linger on his golden eyes, noticing how his pupils dilate as he looks back at you. While you’d love to think it’s out of affection toward you, you decide to believe it’s simply to help calm you further. Jongho gets out of your nest and dismisses himself from the space. You watch as a vine curls around the door nob and pulls the white wood door shut. The tension is tangible enough as it is, but when the therapist dragon leaves, it becomes almost suffocating. San’s silver eyes are slit so thinly you can hardly see his pupils at all. It’s as if they don’t exist at all. 
“I-it wasn’t what it looked like…” You say, trying to ease a bit of the tension.
“Are you sure, Hops?” He practically growls, “It sure looked like you were getting too cozy with someone who isn’t one of your boyfriends. We said you could cuddle with the others if you needed it. That was crossing a line, though.”
Normally seeing your deep purple scaled boyfriend dressed for the office sends you into a mood that you would put in a similar category to your heat. Now, though, it only strikes fear in you. You so desperately wish to crumble under his stare and submit to your prey tendencies. You swallow that urge and hold your head high, remembering Jongho’s words. 
I know it hurts to just feel like a side piece in your relationship. You also need to communicate how you’re feeling, though.
“Would you have rather me run away back to my fluffle without a word to any of you?” You bite back, throwing your arm in the direction of your half-packed duffle bag, “You, Seonghwa, and Yeosang have been making me feel like I’m not even part of our relationship anymore. Had Jongho not stopped me, I would’ve been gone for hours by now. Yes, the cuddling could be seen as crossing a line, but he’s the reason I didn’t go running out mere moments after Yeosang left.”
“Treasure…” San starts, trying to step closer to you.
You put your hand up, and it’s as if you put up an invisible block in front of him.
“Let me speak.” You sigh, “You three communicate without words. You’ve been involved with each other in many different ways long before I was brought to the Thunder. After last week’s events… seeing how easily you knew how to take care of Yeosang while you three practically ignored me and let me handle myself hurt. I’m your girlfriend, but the longer I’m here, the more I feel like just a hookup you brought in with your two boyfriends for some extra fun.”
You let out a shaky breath. You don’t want to cry telling him all of that, but you feel your eyes fill with tears. There’s no way you’ll be able to stop them from falling. You sniffle and let your gaze fall down to your feet rather than looking at your boyfriend. He doesn’t move. That invisible block is still fixated in front of him.
As if the timing couldn’t be worse, you smell Seonghwa’s sweet strawberry jam scent enter the home accompanied by Yeosang’s peppermint tea. It’s as if he knows there’s tension, too. You know your scent is burnt, and San’s is far stormier than his typical calm sea breeze scent. Your eldest boyfriend doesn’t even knock. He invites himself and Yeosang into your bedroom and is greeted by your crying figure and San a few steps away with tendrils of smoke escaping the corners of his lips. Yeosang is the first to step closer, placing a kiss on San’s cheek, only solidifying your emotions. Comforting San before stepping closer to you.
“Tell me what’s going on.” Yeosang asks quietly, wrapping his arms around your frame.
You try to break out of his hold, but you’re no match for his strength. Angry tears keep rolling down your cheeks as you stay trapped in his hold.
“Look at me.” Authority rings in his tone. 
This time, you look at him.
“Am I that unloveable?” You snap.
“Treasure, please.” San says weakly. 
“Yeosang.” You say flatly, “Let me go.”
Your bronze boyfriend backs off. All three of them are clearly concerned about you and trying to figure out why you just asked the question you did. Your nose is still twitching, and tears are still staining your cheeks.
“We need to have a long talk. All four of us.” You huff.
You settle in your nest, wrapping yourself in a throw blanket that smells much more like Jongho than any of your boyfriends. You see the jealousy in San’s eyes as you do so. Yeosang is on your work stool, Seonghwa is sitting in your reading chair, and San is still brooding, leaning against your closed bedroom door. You can’t escape. It’s probably for the best; you need to say this.
“I kinda yelled this at San already, but… you three have been neglecting me.”
You watch as the confusion etches in Seonghwa’s face. He had been spending the most time with you compared to your other two boyfriends. Yeosang’s reaction isn’t as visible, but you know he’s just as confused. San knows, though. He hates that you’re saying it again. 
“I feel like a hookup again. You three are so seamless with each other and don’t seem to give me any care. Last week, Seonghwa… you just threw the wet wipes at me while San took care of Yeosang with so much care… that fucking hurt. I almost ran away today. Jongho stopped me.”
“Treasure… we love you so much. I’m sorry I did that. I wasn’t even thinking about it-” Seonghwa tries to explain.
“I know… it doesn’t change that it hurt… still hurts worse than hell. San came home and found me cuddling with Jongho in a way that was a bit compromising. There was nothing inappropriate happening. I promise. And–” You stop yourself.
“What is it, Hops?” Yeosang asks quietly, “We need to know everything.”
“I kissed him.” You admit, “I was on such an emotional rollercoaster, and he made me feel safe and loved… I didn’t think about what I did until after it happened.”
None of them speak. It scares the hell out of you. Your pale blue eyes flit between all three of them. Their expressions are unreadable. Well, San’s isn’t. A fresh curl of smoke escapes his nose as he wills his flames back down his throat.
“Did you like it?” Yeosang asks again.
You hadn’t thought about that. Did you? It was so spur of the moment you didn’t actually think about how it made you feel. Your heart feels like it’s on fire. It aches. 
“I did.” You admit.
“What do you want that to mean for us?” Seonghwa adds.
“I know we’re on delicate grounds right now…” You sigh, wrapping the blanket tighter around yourself, “I feel the same pull toward him that I do towards you three.”
“Transparency, right?” San finally speaks, “I’m so fucking jealous, but you’re right… we haven’t been caring for you the way we’ve been caring for each other. We should all make an effort to meet each other where we are. All four of us. And–” he stops himself, “If you want Jongho, we can invite him.”
“Seonghwa? Yeosang?” You ask, ears shifting towards them.
“Honestly…” Yeosang sighs, “I miss being with Jongho. We also knew in this Thunder we have a tendency to share, even with San’s jealous streak.” He pokes fun at his purple boyfriend.
“I’m always happy to do anything that helps our relationship and ultimately you, Treasure. I love all my Thunder, and I love you.”
A smile breaks out on your lips, and tears start streaming again. San is the first to approach you. He wraps his arms around you, tail curling protectively around your waist. You feel both of your other boyfriends join moments later.
“I love you, Treasure.” San whispers against your bunny ear.
“I love you.” You sniffle back.
“We all love you.” Yeosang kisses your other ear.
After a long discussion about what each of you needed from each other, you begin discussing who should approach Jongho about joining. It’s out of the question for San to do so. The last time San and Jongho interacted was when he walked in on you, cuddling with the dark blue dragon. Ultimately, Yeosang is chosen. He’s the closest to him, and they think the same way. Their history together before Yeosang started dating you just adds to why he should be the one to ask. Yeosang is also the newest boyfriend. Having Seonghwa go to the youngest dragon could end badly, given that Seonghwa has been dating you longer than Yeosang has.
You go with Yeosang down the hall toward Jongho’s bedroom. You stay outside the door as Yeosang gets permission to enter the space. Instantly, you hear laughter and feel how light the atmosphere is in the room. You see a few hanging plants through the small crack in the door. You haven’t seen many of their bedrooms in great detail, but seeing greenery in Jongho’s room makes warmth spread in your chest.
“Treasure,”
You’re taken aback when you hear the pet name. It’s not Yeosang’s voice. It’s Jongho’s. You step closer to the door. Popping your head through the door, white ears tall on your head, you see Jongho’s golden eyes giving you that same adoring look he had earlier. Yeosang has a soft, comfortable smile on his lips. His hand is outstretched, and you find yourself curling into his side.
Jongho’s room is exactly how you expected it to be. Plants are everywhere, not so much that it’s crowded, but it adds a comforting and homey touch to the space. He has a desk against the far wall, framed by bookshelves. His bed has a wall of vines behind it with purple flowers randomly throughout them. There’s something about the space that is so shamelessly Jongho.
“Is there something you wanted to ask me, Treasure?” Jongho asks with a soft smirk on his lips.
You nod, and your eyes shift up to your green-eyed boyfriend. He just nods slightly at you and gives you a comforting smile.
“Jongho… would you like to be my boyfriend?” You ask.
Yeosang removes his arm from around you as Jongho steps closer to you. The gold-eyed dragon hybrid takes your chin between his thumb and forefinger, making you look up at him. You want so desperately to melt at the touch but you hold your ground somehow. Your ears instantly fall back against your head as your chin tilts up. The flowers are still woven into your hair and tickle against your ears, making them twitch slightly. Jongho takes his other hand to pluck some flowers from your hair.
“Red carnations: admiration, devotion,” he states, twirling it in between his fingers. He shifts his hold on the flowers to show the small white and pink flowers. “Aster: faith, love. Does that answer your question, Treasure?”
“Jongho?” You ask, dazed by his words.
“Yes, Treasure. I’d love to date you.” He smiles a bright, gummy smile, “May I kiss you?”
“Yes.” You practically breathe out.
His lips are on yours a moment later, and you feel an explosion of emotion. The hand that was previously holding the flowers wraps around your waist and pulls you closer to his body. It’s almost as if you’re the only two in the world. When he pulls away, you see his heavily dilated gold eyes. Your hand reaches up to brush against a few scales by his hairline before carding into his hair behind his ear. Before you can get lost in the moment again, Yeosang swoops in and kisses your cheek before leaning over to Jongho and kissing his cheek as well. He wraps his arms around both of you. You turn your head to see your two other boyfriends in the doorway with sweet smiles on their faces. They come into the room and join the hug. Yeah, everything felt better now. They felt like home, and your heart aches out of pure love for your four boyfriends.
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justwonder113 · 8 months
Text
Showering Lee Know with affection
Bang Chan; Changbin; Hyunjin; Han; Felix; Seungmin; IN;
I wanted to make this a drabble but i have literally no control
Summary: You've been waiting for Minho to make a move for ages, so what happens when he actually does?
Warning: Best friends to lovers. Reader feels anxious but nothing over the top. Some cursing. Reader is a bit on the timid side at first but she gets bold. Minho and reader banter with each other. Worried Minho. Reader is whipped for Minho ( who isn't honestly). Not proofread Word count-2470
A/N - I'm thinking to write " showering him with affection" fic with every member. I will try to write and upload Changbin's as soon as I can. Please feel free to interact, I will gladly hear anything you have to say. Requests are open too, so if you want me to write something I'll do my best❤️
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It was one of those days that took your whole energy away, and desperately made you wish you were in bed cocooned in your fluffiest blankets and chill without a care in the world. Thankfully you didn't have that much to do that day, you were just feeling passive. But, unfortunately, you couldn't say the same about your best friend. With comeback being just around the corner he and boys had been working their butts off. You desperately wished there was something you could do to help him in any way, to lessen his burden, but there was so much you could do.
You sighed and looked at your chat with Minho. He had not been on contact for 7 hours now. The last text said that he would text you when he had time but here you were now, still not a word from him.
You looked out the window, the city looked unusually calm but maybe it was because you were feeling bit detached. It was also one of the nights where sleep didn't come so easy. You were feeling sore all over and tired out of your mind but, despite that, you couldn't keep your eyes shut. Maybe it was because you were worried about Minho, maybe it was because you missed him so much you felt like you were missing a part of yourself. It's been days since you last saw him. You knew how busy he could get, especially when he had comback like this, but you couldn't help but worry, more so when you knew how hardworking and perfectionist he was. It wouldn't be a surprise if he, even at this hour, was at the company working his butt off. Sometimes the urge to just smack him was too strong. You both loved and hated these qualities of his-his dedication and sense of responsibility was something to admire yes, but you hated that because of this he owerworked himself to sheer exaustion, you hated that he worked sometimes so hard that he even forgot to eat. In times like this you tried to remind him regularly to take care of himself, also, whenever you could, you tried to bring him food but you could do so much. You were also mad that you had to be so busy you also didn't have time to be as there for him as you wanted. You just had to be loaded with work too.
You sighed yet again and stood up, sulking to yourself wouldn't do much good, so you would at least be productive. Also, maybe if you tired yourself more maybe you would actually be able to sleep at least some hours. You walked to the fridge and started scanning the products, pondering what you could make that would be both nutrtitious and healthy. Knowing your friends they would be mostly eating takeout and junkfood so it would be good if they ate something healthy and homemade. You were sure they woud appreciate it.
You started preparing everything while listening to a true crime podcast your friend recommended earlier. You were getting excited by the second, knowing your gesture would make him happy. The mere thought of seeing him smiling and content filled your heart with joy. Yes, you were whipped for him, but who could be immune to his charms? You felt like you had loved him since forever, you were not sure when you started developing feelings for him, but when you did you fell hard and quickly. Unfortunately for you though, you were a bit of a coward and you chose to stay in the in the comfort zone of friendship, terrified to ruin everything you two had. It was sometimes infuriating, especially when you knew that your feelings toward each other was more than platonic, there was always something more, you knew he felt something for you but neither of you did anything about it. You came in harmony with the fact that you were not initiative person like that, the person who made first moves, okay, but Minho? His lack of action made you withdraw more and it sometimes made you feel like you were deluding yourself.
Sometimes it got tiring tho, waiting and waiting for the other person to at least give you more than a hint that they returned your feelings, something just something! There were even times when you wished he would at least turn you down, so you would have a reason to move on, to stop holding on the moss.
Being this lost in the thought you didn't even realize when your front door opened, you were only startled out of the bones when you felt two strong arms wrap around your waist. Your first instinct was to grab something to use to defend yourself, but as soon as the familiar scent of bodywash and the hint of cologne hit your nose you quickly realized that your intruder was Minho.
With a hand on your chest and scowl adorning your face you turned in his hold to scold him. "What the hell Minho? What happened to knocking?" You couldn't help but scold, why did he have to be stealthy like a cat?
Any hint of anger died the instant you took his image in. The exhaustion was evident on his figure and he was out of breath, had he been running?, his eyes were bloodshot and he had dark eyebags, he looked paler, and maybe even skinnier too. Had he not been eating at all? You carefully started examining him, worry apparent on your eyes. "Have you been taking care of yourself at all? What the hell Minho? What brought you here? Why aren't you at your house sleeping? Did something happen?.." You were ready to throw hundred more questions but he quickly stopped you by putting his hands on your shoulder, the corners of his mouth slightly lifted.
"Breathe princess." His soft voice made you realize that you vere rambling.
"Oh, okay, sorry." You brought all your attention to him now and Minho decided to flick your head now, you quickly rubbed the place "what was that for you asshole?"
"Where the fuck is your phone?"
" I don't know dude! Probably somewhere here why? "
Minho took a deep breath and glared at you. "I thought I would come by and crash at your place, when I saw that you had your lights on so you were awake. I banged on your door for like 10 minutes, no answer. I call like ten times no answer okay Maybe you fell asleep, but I hear man's voice and something about blood? Thankfully I had your spare key on me or else I would've broken your door now. " You felt guiltier by the second, Minho looked really worried too, you had to lighten up the situation.
"Aww you do love me," you started cooing and you wrapped his frigid body into a hug, Minho made a point to be as much like a stick as he could.
"Why are we friends again?" Minho grumbled but he didn't look annoyed anymore, you grinned and started leading him to a table.
"Because I'm amazing, and you love me and I made your favourite" you dramatically gestured at the food which was now ready and looked good as ever.
"Looks good," he muttered out softly as he lightly patted your hair which he knew you didn't appreciate that much, "Still mad tho."
" How about we cuddle after it? I'll even massage your scalp." You suggest knowing this would crack him up.
And it did he gave you one last side eye but gave up, oriented on food. " Okay deal."
You two ate in silence, not really giving a damn that it was the middle of the night and it was not at all healthy, talking calmly about what you two have been up to while you didn't see each other, with Minho sometimes interrupting both you and himself to say again and again that food was delicious and just what he needed. He told you all about their progress in dance rehearsals, in what parts in choreo he had trouble, of course without spoiling you about the album, loving to tease you as always. Second after second you realized just how much you've missed this, just existing together not having to worry about anything. That's what you loved the most being with him, he made you feel so safe and comfortable, even though you two constantly got on each other's nerves, he was your safe space and you tried your best to be his.
After a while you two were snuggled up in your bed, all washed up and content. You slowly scratching his scalp while he basically laid on top of you, with his head on your tummy. You just loved how silky smooth his hair was, but what you loved the most was sleepy Minho. It was whole another level adorable.
"don't you wanna get under the covers so we can actually sleep?" You hummed out and slightly tugged harder at his hair knowing he liked it. He lazily looked up, eyes half closed, feeling a bit dazed.
"Feel lazy." You couldn't help but smile, "come on babe get up, I promise I won't stop scratching your head." You waited for an answer while he stared at you. You pondered for a second, why was he staring at you like that? You had been addressing each other like couple for a while,(manifesting at it's best) so there was nothing new about that. Was there something on your face? You literally washed it minutes ago. "What is it min?" Minho slightly furrowed his eyebrows and hid his face, "you're beautiful"
You were sure you heard him right but you had to make sure. "What? Couldn't hear you pretty boy." He looked at you with a scowl
"Don't make me say it." You grinned at him.
"Pretty please with a cherry on top?" Minho sighed and got up, he leaned in so that his face was in front of you, his presence intervening with yours, you blinked at him slowly awaiting for him.
"You're beautiful" you felt like you couldn't breathe, he looked so deep into your eyes you felt like your soul was naked, you felt so vulnerable. You smirked deciding to challenge him.
"What are you going to do about it?" You were internally screaming, you saw someone say to do this on internet, you couldn't believe you actually had the balls to say it.
Minho looked at you with dark eyes, his face not giving away what he was thinking, you suddenly had the urge to back down, however before you could act on it he decided to lean in and capture your lips in a kiss.
Your whole world was spinning, was this really happening to you? Was the man you had been pining over for years, your best friend, the man of your dreams kissing you like there was no tomorrow?
His lips felt so soft you felt like you could melt. You quickly put your hands around his neck and tried to return the kiss with the same vigor but you doubted it was possible. Minho was kissing you so passionately it almost felt like he was about to devour you, yet, at the same time, he held you like you were the most fragile thing to ever exist, you've never felt more loved and cherished. And most of all you've never felt more alive than this. You were sure you felt every cell in your body ignite and come alive. If someone were to offer you ability to stop time you would freeze this moment so you could relieve it again and again.
"How come we've never done this?" Minho asked after he broke off the kiss. You were amazed how he was able to talk when you felt like you couldn't breathe at all.
" I don't know Min, why haven't you done so before?" You smiled and softly kissed his lips, him chasing after it had you chuckling.
"Must've been a fool, considering I've been in love with you for years" he leaned in again to seal your lips but you willed yourself to break it.
"You love me?"
"I do, I love you." Was it possible to pull a muscle from smiling?
"Say it again" you leaned in now, your fingers carefully fixing his strand of stray hair on his forehead, carefully examining his pretty features, seeing his flushed face had you questioning how would you even look right now.
"I love you" he said your name so tenderly it had you melting yet again. You gave him a wide smile and captured his pretty lips in a kiss again, now feeling shivers run down his body. His hands automatically found their place around your waist, bringing you as close as possible, now you were sat comfortably in his lap, as if it was made just for you. "I'm taking this as a sign you love me back?" God you loved his smile.
"I'll prove just how much I love you all right." You slid your hands to his shoulders and started littering tiny little kisses everywhere possible, his lips, his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, his jaw his neck while muttering just how much you liked his every little feature, how you loved how kind, sweet, generous, interesting and overall amazing person he was. Of course you used far more adjectives being sure that every positive one could be used to describe him. You wanted to show him just how much you loved and appreciated him.
You only stopped your actions when your lips felt so numb it felt like they would fall off any second now. "Are you convinced now pretty boy?" You asked loving, satisfied with his dazed expression. Flustered Minho was your favorite Minho, you were sure of it. Pink looked so good on him, it was adorable how his ears flushed followed by his cheeks and neck with your actions. He looked beyond yummy. Minho smiled and layed you both on the bed.
" I don't know princess, I think I need some more kisses just to be sure. " Minho shrugged and winked at you mischeviously.
You rolled your eyes but who were you to deny?
After a while you fell asleep, safely cocooned in his arms feeling safe and content, his arms tightly held you close to him as if he was afraid to let you go even for a second, his hold on you not loosening even for a second, despite him being dead asleep, he was so adorable like this. You were sure your heart had never felt so content, he really was your comfort space.
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renthony · 1 year
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I don't do it because it's obnoxious, but every time someone posts something in one of my crafty groups and says the materials are "vegan leather," I have to resist the urge to say, "so it's plastic."
Just fucking call it what it is and stop trying to euphemism your way out of the plastic use. Fucking christ.
And this isn't even a "lol stupid vegans" thing; I know multiple vegans who hate that shit just as much as I do. Hell, I've known people who eat vegan for whatever reason but will still invest in good leathers, because good-quality, sustainably-sourced leather is inimitable. I have known a vegan who invested in high-quality used leather work boots specifically because it was less ecologically damaging than buying a new pair of microplastic-shedding "vegan leather" boots every year and a half.
What it comes down to is that you can't be a conscious consumer of anything if you don't know what a product is actually made of.
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