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lovelylogans · 6 years

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Hello! I just had a math exam and 110% failed it. I had no idea what I was doing, and now I’m absolutely terrified to see the mark due to my perfectionist ‘I-always-have-to-be-successful’ thoughts. Any words of comfort/advice....?

oof, okay, been there, first of all, literally that exact situation, multiple times. so let me lay out some various scenarios, and what happens with each. under the cut, bc long.

first: you could be maximizing it. i took my second stats exam this past semester and thought i just completely whiffed it. like, i cried walking back home from the exam, i got myself pity chocolate, wrapped myself up in blankets and listened to moody music, whole nine yards. i’d studied most of that weekend, and all of that day, and i thought i just flunked it.

imagine my surprise when i got it back and it was an 89/100.

like. genuinely. i stared at it and just kinda figured well if there was an issue with the scantron, and i know i messed up the full work--

nope. actually did that well. i thought i’d be trying to dig myself out of a c- (best case) and i ended up getting a b+.

so, if that’s how your mark turns out, that’s awesome! nothing to fear! maybe just keep studying a bit more for next time and make sure you stay at that level. also maybe consider why you felt so uncertain and scared.

second: you did bad on it. like, real bad. like, one time i got back a math exam and got around a 30%, level of not good. first of all, it’s like what i keep in mind whenever doing an assignment i think is a waste of time: any percent is better than a zero. 30% is better than 0%. you tried. it didn’t go so great. it sucks, i know it sucks. but you can do better next time. think over why you didn’t do well this time. did you:

1. study enough? i know it takes a hot second to get how to study for math. find some practice problems, go back in your textbook and do the problems you didn’t do for homework (one of my hs math teachers, for instance, would assign evens for homework, bc answers for odds were in the back and we could do the odds to practice for tests) or look around online for extras. ask your teacher what they recommend you study/focus on; if you get a study guide, for the love of god, use it. does your school offer some kind of extra help? i know it rankles at you, perfectionist wise, but sometimes you need help so you can do it yourself.

2. understand the material walking out of class? (note i don’t say before the exam, even though that’s how i handle it a lot and need to improve my way of thinking.) i mean walking out of class. do you walk out of your course and just go “i have no idea what this means. i don’t know what just happened” and just kind of continue on? with math a lot of things build up on previous knowledge. if you don’t get something walking out of class, try and study it enough so that you get it while you’re doing your homework. if not (again, i know this rankles at me a bit) either look around online or ask your teacher.

3. blank in the middle of an exam? i know it’s the worst. first, take a deep breath. mark the problem you’re not doing, and go through the test. do the stuff you know you know how to do. chances are as you’ll get into the swing of it you’ll start to remember other stuff.

4. do you have another problem? do you suck at time management, do you procrastinate a lot, are you just not so good at math? see that problem, recognize it. vow to yourself you’re gonna do better, and make a plan to do better. use your planner more! set up designated study times! try and do extra work!

third: so you did bad on it. you’re scared to see your mark. been there. the thing is you gotta see it. look over the problems you missed, see if you made silly little mistakes (like, you didn’t carry a number, or you forgot a step, so on) and mark em. for the more complicated ones you don’t get--if your teacher goes over exams in class, ask. if not, send an email, visit office hours. try and understand. if your teacher truly sucks and doesn’t respond at all to your requests for help (BEEN THERE!) then, again, online’s a good friend. if you have friends in the course, ask them too.

and if you do end up getting a bad grade, remember:

there is still time in the semester. if it’s late in the semester, then there are other grades to help make up for it. you didn’t do well. it happens. but that means you’ve gotta work a bit harder to make sure you get your grade where you want it to be.

take a breather. i knowww getting a bad grade sucks. take a night, or a day, or whatever. allow yourself to sulk a bit, but don’t fixate on it. get some comfort food, do some pampering, watch a favorite movie. let yourself grumble about it. after that? don’t think about what you should have or could have done. you did what you did, and it didn’t turn out how you wanted. it sucks. move forward. do not beat yourself up over this.

work smarter. and harder. so. bad grade. it sucks. agreed. but take what happened this time and use it. you got a bad grade--you can use it to help push you. if you’re having trouble doing your homework bc you don’t see the point, remember this grade. think about it (did you study? did you pay attention in class? did you do your homework? did you actually understand it walking out of class, or into your exam?) and change your behavior.

this does not define you. grades, in the long run, don’t matter all that much. did i nearly flunk out of algebra ii and chemistry my junior year of high school? yeah! it sucked! am i currently accepted into my upper level majors of choice in a competitive program? yep! i know grades get a really big emphasis right now, but one bad grade doesn’t mean that the world is ending. i know it feels like it. but you are a lot more than your gpa, or your standardized test scores. remember that.

here’s some helpful links to look over, courtesy of studyblr.

how to deal with failure

self-care

find some balance

a masterpost of masterposts!

study methods

another self-care masterpost!

my school tag, and my college tag.

take care of yourself!

#ask #not ts #anonymous #my post

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hollohat · 7 years

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Hello, tumblr!

Today, I’m going to talk about AP Calculus! It has a reputation as one of the hardest AP courses, not without desert; it is heavy with concepts and requires a high degree of proficiency in all the math that comes before it. It is also enormously useful for a variety of fields, from architecture to medicine, and can be a lot of fun to do! Some tips:

Prepare

Most AP Calc courses come after a substantial list of prerequisites: Algebra 1 and 2, Geometry, Trigonometry, and whatever your school calls the mish-mash of topics falling under pre-calculus. It is imperative to be comfortable with these when you start; calculus uses all of them.

Specifically:

Know. The. Trigonometric. Circle. Know it like the back of your hand (if you are someone who studies each detail of your hand carefully like the weirdo who came up with this saying)

Make sure you know the trigonometric identities too, back and forth.

You will need the formulas from Geometry. These aren’t as hairy as the trigonometric ones imo, but still good to know so you don’t have to relearn them later.

Make sure you are comfortable with algebraically changing expressions from one form to another. Factoring and reducing expressions will be super important.

If you have a hard time with any of these, it’s ok; you can review them! If you find that you have forgotten anything you need during your course, see if you can find some excercises in it online or in a book, and do a few so that you are comfortable with it.

Practice

AP Calc involves some proofs, but most of the course is about learning how to do specific types of operations. The best way to prepare is to just do the problems you are assigned for homework, then do more as time passes or if you have a hard time with a particular one.

Memorize formulas as they are introduced. Review them often. Do problems with them.

If you do not understand a concept:

Try to break down why. Do you understand part of it? Write down what you know. See what it is that is stopping you.

Try drawing a picture. Label it. See if you can relate your problem to the visual geometry.

Try working a problem. See where you stop understanding it. Ask yourself why you are doing each step. See if you can explain to yourself.

Look at a worked problem. Explain each step to yourself. See where you stop understanding.

If there a proof involved? Work through the proof, making sure you understand each step. This can give you a solid foundation.

Go to your teacher or a friend with specific questions.

The FRQs and MCQs from previous tests are a goldmine. Do every one you can get your hands on. For FRQs, compare your answers to the model answers given on the College Board website. Mark everything you do wrong. Try to remember it and do it right next time you do a similar problem.

FRQs are great because they tend to incorporate multiple concepts, giving you practice, and they also follow similar patterns. Getting used to those patterns is really helpful.

The Test

Do some full practice tests. Time yourself. Note the concepts you get wrong and review them. Ask someone about things that give you trouble.

Make sure you know all your formulas well.

Make sure you can do everything you will need to with your calculator.

Part of the test is no-calculator. Make sure you can do the sort of problems which appear there without your calculator.

When you take the test:

Sleep.

0/10 do not recommend late night cramming the night or two before the test.

Change your calculator’s batteries. Just so you’re certain it won’t die on you.

Have something to drink on you.

On the MCQs, skip problems you can't do quickly and come back to them. I recommend:

Doing all the easy problems first. The ones that you get instantly. Just read the rest.

Come back and do the ones you need some time for. Ignore any if you have no idea how start or take a lot of time.

Come back for these on the third pass.

They’re all worth the same amount, so don’t worry about specific ones; just get as many as you can right.

Show. You. Work. On the FRQs. Write down everything you can.

If you don’t know how to do the first part of a problem, but the second part relies on it, just pick a number you think is reasonable for the answer to the first part, and use it. You can still get credit for the second part if you use that number correctly.

Don’t stress out too much. Even if you feel terribly, it is quite possible that you did will.

For illustration, I took BC, and I literally cried after the test, because I thought I did terribly. I got a five. The percentage you need to get right to do well is low, and how you feel does not predict how you do.

Take a bit of time for yourself afterwards. It’s going to be May. The weather will be beautiful. Breathe it in. :)

my posts on:

ap in general

ap english literature

ap us history

#studyblr #advice #resources #ap calc #ap #school #studying #calculus #caffestudy #paperandcaffeine #elkstudies #heysareena #studyquill #studiix #lookheretay #lookstudyblr #snostalgic

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screw1nthetuna · 4 years

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From a childhood fascination to Assassins Creed to an A-Level in Egyptolgy?

I cast my mind back to Primary School where we had a trip to the History Museum in London. At the time we were learning about the Greeks and the Egyptians, but it was the latter that took a hold of me and still does to this day.

At the time of the visit, I remember peering through the protective glass at a mummy, perfectly preserved within it’s coffin casing and surround by items belonging to the individual. Gold, pottery, many items, engraved with amazing hieroglyphs.

Further down the aisle were information slabs about the Pyramids of Giza, I cannot remember the exact number of stones used in the Pyramids at the time of reading it, but it was enough to make me realise these were big monuments for sure. It was at this moment, I realised I had a fascination for Ancient Egypt.

FAST FORWARD TO 2017

With me being a big conspiracy theorist (I like to call it ‘alternative realities’), I was watching a lot of late night YouTube videos, taking me into some great documentaries on the secrets of the Pyramids, looking into the astrology and maths around these amazing structures. I started remembering my school trips, which led me to start wanting to know more again about Egypt and why I loved it so much throughout my life. It’s strange sometimes in life it goes so fast, we forget to be curious and take time out to explore and learn more.

So I got this book ‘ A History of Ancient Egypt: From the First Farmers to the Great Pyramid ‘ by John Romer (now an inspiration to me, which we will go on to in a moment) - here is the link to the book if anyone fancies purchasing! https://www.amazon.co.uk/History-Ancient-Egypt-Farmers-Pyramid/dp/0141399716

The book took me back to way before the Pyramids were built and right down to the agricultural beginnings of what was essentially Ancient times. in fact I still have not finished reading the book yet after 3 years. I was about a third of the way through the book, I remember closing it and staring at the front with the thought “Why on Earth have I not gone to see the Pyramids yet?”. This came at a time personally where I had some very hard and difficult things going on in my life that I tried my best to deal with, but it inspired me to think that we sometimes take time for granted and we should do things when we have the chance to. So, me being me, within an hour of thinking that, I booked a flight and hotel for that November in 2017.

In October, when I booked the ‘holiday’, I was recovering from a fractured arm ( football related) to which I started coming back to playing again with my pals on Wednesday nights in Guildford. The problem I have had since I was 17, I am very injury prone, it is like my key trait if I was ever made as a player on FIFA games! The week I came back, I ruptured my ankle ligament (I think for about the 6th time in my highly amateur career). It was safe to say, this one was going to take a LONG time to heal, the swelling and pain was quite simply horrible.

Whilst waiting for my X-Ray, I quickly thought “Uh... I am supposed to be going to Egypt in two weeks”. Then my mind went into meltdown, I had the whole trip planned - Luxor, Abu Simbel, Aswan, Cairo, the lot! Intricate detail, full itinerary to the hour marks. I looked at my ankle and started trying to use mind powers to reduce the swelling, no help.

Anyway, two weeks passed and I found myself at Heathrow. Strange situation, I was on crutches wondering what am I doing going on a plane like this, with my ankle like that. It got more interesting when I was bypassing the big usual queues for check-in etc. by someone kindly pushing me on a wheelchair!

After several hours, I arrived in Cairo Airport, except I forgot to get a Visa....

An hour of talking and filling out forms with the Airport team took place and I was finally on my way... except the hopper bus had left 45 mins prior, so actually I was going nowhere, other than hopping around on my own in an empty airport lounge. It was about 1am at this point, pretty tired. After some haggling with a taxi company I was back on track.

Arriving at La Pyramids Hotel (amazing by the way) around 3am, I was delightfully informed that although I am booked in on this day, technically the room is not available. Sofa in the concierge it is then! I tried to sleep, it was impossible, so many people coming and going. It got to about 6am, I realised it was getting lighter outside, so I got my crutches and thought, I am going for a wonder. I did not get far outside the hotel, but I got far enough to experience something visually amazing. There was a strange mist in the sky, perhaps elements of humidity I do not know. When you see the images of your hotel online, they don’t always feel or look the same when you are actually there, but this time for me, it was 100 times better than the images, I was given something very special to see. Slowly, a silhouette appeared in the distance. In my head I was like “No way are they that close”. The triangle shape got darker as the light improved in the sky. It was time to be introduced to the only existing Wonder left in the World.

I think I stood there for about an hour trying to comprehend the fact that I was actually here, looking at them, with my own eyes. It would not be until the Friday of that week that I would go and actually see them, seeing as my original plan was for me to be at the South of the Nile 7 hours drive away by now, but cancelled due to my injury.

I had to wait patiently all week, staring at the Great Pyramid of Giza from the poolside (Amazing to be able to do that so easily by the way). It would take me 45 minutes to get from my hotel room to the pool, very frustrating, but worth the view (although highly annoying when I would get all the way to the pool and realise I left my music in the room and have to hop back up and return again!).

When Friday came, it was incredible. To be right by the Pyramids, the Sphinx, climbing some of the stones, that have sat there for thousands of years, it is so surreal. The camel ride in the distance, looking back at the Pyramids, your mind can only wonder what these amazing desert lands once looked like, so much is still to be found.

Yes, my journey in Egypt was short, it was reduced in terms of the itinerary, but no one can take away my experience of the Pyramids, the people I met at the hotel, both guests and staff, as well as taking home with me some great items and gifts for others, but more importantly it gave me a massive ambition to return and do it properly again.

FAST FORWARD TO 2020

In January 2020, I obtained a copy of Assasins Creed Origins, it had already been out a few years, but I love the series of games and had to play this one as it was based in Egypt. I found myself climbing the Pyramids, meeting rulers of yesteryear and jumping off of mountains overlooking Siwa and the other Ancient Lands. I started participating in the in-game tours, really cool way to learn about the history of Egypt and take time out from assassinating for a bit.

It was actually this game that helped me learn more and then encouraged me to look into perhaps trying to take this to another level and really learn about Ancient Egypt. I enrolled on a Level 3 Egyptology Diploma. 2011 was when I graduated from University, so it has been a while since having to research a topic and deliver citations etc.

I think when you have a subject you are passionate about, it becomes easier, I found myself flying through modules, amazingly getting 97+% Distinction levels on my first few assignments. I was really impressing myself, I knew I loved the concept and what I was learning about Ancient Egypt, but never envisioned myself smashing it! It was starting to get nerve wracking each time I pressed the submit button on the assignments completion. However, each time the results would come in at high levels, 94%,97%, 100% etc. I realised very quickly that not just with the help of books, but the love I have for Egypt and it’s history is what has allowed me to have passion in this and get great results. I was really really enjoying it. Covering topics of each ruler, every dynasty, racial comments, comparisons of different periodic language, religion, architecture and even the variant opinions of modern historians and their theories and thoughts, whether it be the Greek historians of the early AD periods, or modern Victorian Egyptolgist’s thoughts, it was all amazing to piece together and also make my own conclusions.

My final result came in two weeks after submitting my final assignment, I was officially credited with a Level 3 Egyptology Diploma and Certificate to stick on the wall. I know I will do a degree in Egyptology for sure after this and take it to the next level, hopefully get involved with some digs too, but first I need to finish my Astronomy Level 3 and Mayan/Sumerian Level 3 then I am sure I will continue my Egypt quest..

I now think back, if I had not gone on that trip, which I have to thank my teacher at the time for organising really, or to have read that book by John Romer, which was so detailed and passionately documented, I perhaps would never have gone down any of this path. Generally, I was inspired along the whole way and given something very special from it. My next step is to help fight for Egpyt to get their prized artifacts back home where they belong, for centuries they have been in Museums around the World.

My reward to myself..... Egypt, October 2020. The Full Journey. (This time I won’t play football leading up to it).

Let’s catch up in November and see how it went!

REMEMBER

If you have a dream, or want to learn something, go for it, no matter your age or your level of experience or knowledge, life is for learning and you have more than enough ability to achieve what you want to achieve.

“Be curious” - Stephen Hawking

All the best,

Si Buckingham

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biopsychs · 7 years

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physics doesn’t have to suck: how to enjoy and do well in your required physics classes

As someone who doesn’t intend to take a physics class ever again, I was relieved when I walked out of my second semester physics final. That said, physics doesn’t have to suck or drag your average down.

(1) How to enjoy physics: Adjust your attitude. Physics is so cool if you actually think about it. Your attitude will dictate your experience. (2) But physics is so hard: Change the way you study and don’t give up. I did better in university physics than in high school. The content was way more difficult but it was my studying methods that made the difference.

This post is split into 3 parts: Introductory physics (very basic physics, that unit of physics you had to do in a lower level science class), high school physics (physics from an algebra-based perspective), and university physics (calculus-based physics and labs). (Obviously these overlap a lot but I needed to organize this somehow)

INFO IS UNDER THE CUT B/C THIS POST IS RIDICULOUSLY LONG

1. INTRODUCTORY PHYSICS

Skills you should master that will greatly help you now and in the future

Converting between units

What all those symbols actually mean

Interpreting what graphs mean

Scientific notation

Know how to do algebra fairly well (esp. rearranging equations)

Khan Academy is a great resource for introductory and high school physics.

Start every question by stating all of your known and unknown variables. Write down which variables you have and which ones you need. Then, you can easily figure out which formula you need.

Make sure you’re actually understanding the concepts behind everything; plugging numbers into equations will only get you so far.

Rearrange formulas to equal the variable you need before you substitute your known values into the equation.

Use your knowledge of physics from your own experiences. Don’t overthink. Just try to picture what would happen if, say, a ball and a feather were dropped from the same height.

2. HIGH SCHOOL PHYSICS (ALGEBRA-BASED)

(Everything from part 1 applies, esp Khan Academy)

Pay attention to in class demos.

Draw free body diagrams whenever you can -- they can be annoying but quickly being able to visualize all of the forces acting is an important skill

Ask your teacher for help or clarification if you need it! You won’t always have the opportunity for one-on-one help, plus your teacher may mark you a bit easier if they see you’re really trying.

Know trigonometry well! In fact, if any of your algebra skills are weak, be sure to review. Don’t let basic math hold you back -- you can do this!

Your first step for any problem should be to write down any known variables or numbers and then the variables you need to find.

Work with a study group (just make sure everyone else is as committed as you are, otherwise studying with others won’t help). People think in different ways and you’re bound to find a solution eventually -- and less likely to give up if you can’t do it.

Get all the part marks. Write down your variables, a formula that could be applicable -- anything that might earn even half a mark (teachers are a lot more forgiving than you think)

Double check your final answer. Ensure you have the right units and ask yourself if your final answer makes sense.

Don’t give up! A big mistake I made in high school was giving up the first time I couldn’t figure out a question because physics was hard and I would never understand it. No excuses! Ignoring a question won’t help you answer it when it comes up on a test. Figure it out on your own or get help.

3. UNIVERSITY PHYSICS (CALCULUS-BASED + LABS)

(Note: Some university physics classes are algebra-based. My university is dumb and forced me to take difficult, calculus-based classes.)

(Again, most things from part 1 and part 2 apply here as well.)

A) Lectures, studying, finals, etc.

Pay attention in class and write good notes

My physics lectures were boring but trying to catch up by reading my textbook later was so much worse

Your lecture notes may not make much sense at first but later on you’ll be able to tell which concepts were stressed by your prof

Draw any diagrams your prof shows you (or take a picture with your phone if you’re lazy). Be sure that the diagram is complete and don’t forget about labels. Don’t worry too much about neatness as long as you know what the diagram is supposed to show you.

Keep all your notes in one notebook: Use one colour for writing regular notes, another colour for circling formulas or starring things you don’t understand, and be sure to write the date down for each lecture and leave space if you fall behind during the lecture (you can always copy someone else’s notes later)

Get a good textbook!

Talk to older students and see if the textbook was helpful for the class. If it’s useful then actually use it! If it’s not, find a good textbook to use!

Do lots of practice questions

My profs tended to go over more conceptual ideas in class and didn’t do many examples.

Try to do a variety of questions! This will tell you if you actually understand the content or if you’ve just memorized how to do certain questions.

Work with other people on assignments (and join/start a group chat for your class)

I had online assignments due every Friday at midnight. My friend and I would meet up on Wednesday or Thursday to work through most of the assignment together. If there was a question we didn’t get, there would always be someone in our class group chat wondering the same thing and there was always some smart physics student that would be a bro and explain how to approach the problem (on another note: don’t leave assignments till the last minute)

Group chats are also great if you miss class or can’t remember when the cutoff for the midterm is

If you don’t understand something get help before it’s too late.

Be prepared with specific questions. It’s hard for someone to help you if all you can say is that you don’t know anything. Go to your prof, TA, tutor, etc.

I found my profs to be super nice about everything. They just want people to be excited about the subject they teach!

If you’re just stuck on one thing there are tons of resources online! Just be specific in what you’re googling and check out resources that other profs have posted online.

Understand the math before you start doing questions

Know the basics of derivatives and integrals

It’s super important to be able to draw a rough graph of the first, second, etc. derivative when all you are given is a graph of the original function (i.e. drawing the graphs for velocity and acceleration when given a graph of displacement)

But don’t ignore the conceptual stuff

This is why a good textbook is important!

Plus you can get part marks for some questions by stating whether one value should be higher/lower than another value, even if you can’t figure out the calculations -- and you can check your answers this way.

For example, it’s pretty important to know what magnetic flux density is before you can calculate it’s value

When studying for tests, don’t just assume you know how to do a question.

Looking over the solution for a problem and actually completing the problem are two very different things. This is the biggest mistake I’ve made when studying physics.

Understanding the solution is only one step in actually being able to answer the question. Looking over solutions is lazy studying if you’re not even trying to do the work. Start the question. Glance at the first part of the solution if you’re stuck. Keep going from there.

For first year physics classes, you really shouldn’t skip over any parts of problem. Yeah, rearranging that formula might look easy but can you actually do it? Practice makes perfect.

If you have a midterm coming up that tests material from a few weeks ago, be sure to do questions from the older units. The content might look familiar but just because you could do a question 2 weeks ago doesn’t mean you can do it now.

Don’t leave your studying till the last minute.

Get a planner and carve out enough time to do practice questions every few days. Trying to catch up on four chapter’s worth of problems is not fun and won’t work very well. Plus, you don’t just have to know how to answer questions. You have to be able to answer questions efficiently.

B) Labs

My labs were very different each semester.

First semester content included kinematics, relativity, forces, momentum, work, etc. The labs were super boring but super easy. For most labs we used motion detectors and a program called logger pro to collect and graph data. Lots of carts.

Second semester content included light, energy, radiation, magnetism, circuits, etc. The labs mostly involved bread boards and wires.

Regardless of content, some general comments on labs are...

Labs won’t always follow lecture content. Apparently that’s too difficult to organize.

That said, get your prelabs done. Properly, if you can. If you don’t fully understand a prelab question, ask your TA once you’ve handed it in. This will save you so much time.

Find a good lab partner. Not sure if there’s a trick to this but just try your best. And be a good lab partner too!

Make note of how strict your TA is with sig figs and error calculations. There’s no sense in losing a few marks when you could stay an extra 15 minutes and do the work properly.

Eat some food and hydrate before your lab -- you never know when your lab will take you 3+ hours to finish.

If you’re not sure if your experiment is working ask your TA. Trying to complete the lab with incorrect data is difficult and your TA will probably make you repeat the experiment anyways.

I hope this post was helpful! I struggled with physics in high school (my worst class) but it ended up being one of my best classes in university (A’s both semesters). The content was way more difficult but my studying habits and test-taking methods were what made the difference!!

Feel free to add additional advice to this post!

My Other Posts:

AP lit tips

high school biology

organization tips

recommended reads

reminders for myself

using your time wisely on public transport

what i learned from high school

#physics does not have to be your enemy!#studyblr #physics #quantumheels #briellestudies #areistotle #focusign #academla #intellectus #studybuzz #etudiance #studypetals #studyblrsubjects #mine

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kiwiquii · 6 years

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You are 15. You have just started grade 11 at school. You have a good group of friends, 20 or so people that you genuinely enjoy being around. You have a boyfriend and the relationship is going well.

Its march, near the end of the first term. You notice some people in the group are not really getting along, and for some reason, 15 of the people get up and walk out of the group. They refuse to rejoin the two.

The 5 left includes you and your boyfriends friends.

A couple of weeks later, one of your friends tries to go to the group of 15 to talk to his girlfriend. He gets literally shoved out.

You send a private message to the 'leader' of the group asking her why she split the two. She tells you x was flirting with her ex and she didnt like that.

She tells you that you are a nosy bitch for questioning her. Half an hour later, you get 5 other people sending you messages

"You are a piece of shit"

"You dont deserve to have friends"

"I have hated you for years"

To this day you agree with all of these.

Its June. Your boyfriend hits rock bottom, runs away from home and drops out of school. You tell him to go back to school at least, he is a very intelligent person.

He tells you you are being a bitch for refusing to support him.

You then realise that everything that had happened in the relationship wasnt normal. He liked to physically abuse you. He often said something like "if you refuse to kiss me right now i will kill myself". He often got upset if you wanted to talk to your friends one day.

So you break up with him. You tell him that you have realised these things arent right. He tells you that you dont deserve to be loved and you have no hope of getting a lasting relationship. You agree.

It gets to September. At this point you start to question whether its worth going on. Something happens, and before you realise what you have done, you have gouged out part of your wrist.

You realise there is something really wrong with you, so the next day you go to the school councellor. She tells your parents and you start on therapy. You think it is a waste of time.

You can't last a month without making a new scar on yourself. It gets to november and the group merges back together. You cant join them, even seeing the people who attacked you sends you into panic.

You catch the bus home from school every day. And every day, you have a panic attack because the noise and claustrophobia is too much. Music is the only thing that can help it.

Your grades are failing. You used to be a good student, not the best but rarely getting less than a B. Now you are failing every subject.

You start grade 12. At this point you have 3 people you can count on. One is a girl you met online that you talk to every day, but she lives in america. Another is a girl you have been best friends with since grade 8. The last is a guy who for some reason still puts up with you.

Your best friend is popular. She still talks to everyone in the old group and she has ofher friends. You see her once every second day for the shorter break.

The guy is busy too. You dont see him that much.

For a while, you had a group of friends on an online forum. After a few months they realised you werent worth anything and you get banned. This happens with another forum as well.

Your mother is a very social person. You go to parties every other week with your parents. You try to tell them how uncomfortable they make you, but they refuse to listen.

One of the last things you enjoy is fishing. Sometimes, the parties your parents hold are at the beach, so you try to get as far away from the party as possible to escape in the waves. Each time, you consider just swimming out to keep going until you drown. Each time, you stop yourself because you forgot to say goodbye.

It gets to grade 12, you are 4 weeks in. Since the group joined back together, you have been sitting in an out of bounds area where no one can find you. Teachers tell you that you are lucky to not get suspended. You tell them you couldnt care less

It is the first time you ride your bike to school. It happens to be the class with an air con first so you are relieved. At 9:05 the school gets a bomb scare. You are made to sit on the field. You are messaging your dad and listening to music because you are terrified. A teacher tries to take your phone. You tell them to piss off. They make you sit in the sun away from the rest of the students. You keep messaging your dad. The teachers tell you if you dont hand over your phone they will suspend you. You tell them go ahead. At one point a teacher grabs you to try and get it.

Your parents find out about everything that happened, and they take it to the principal threatening to charge for assault. They are told that if they followed through, you would be an outcast to all teachers. Because what is the word of one mentally ill girl against professionals?

A few days later, the guy you were friends with approaches you. He tells you that he wants nothing to do with you until you fix your depression. You walk out of the school, start walking home, and suddenly get an uncontrollable urge to jump infront of a truck.

You force yourself to the ground, and message your american friend. They tell you that you are being an idiot and they would punch you if they were there.

You call your parents, who come immediately to pick you up from the side of the road. You talk to the suicide hotline about everything that has happened. You go to the hospital and repeat yourself to 3 more seporate people. You are pronounced minor risk and sent home

You dont go back to that school. You dont get accepted into a new school until 3 months later. In your time off, you start running and riding every day. You find a dog park with some nice people.

Your mental health is getting better. You go into your new school and complete all of term 1 and term 2 in the single term. You fail most of your first exams. Your teacher for your strongest subject tells you there is no way you can be an A student. Your OP prediction comes back as 17.

But you keep going. You go to the city every day to do your school work. Your grades get better. You feel better about yourself. By the end of the year, you are a straight A student. You get 2 awards. You get your OP back as 9. You get accepted into university early.

But you have to pay tuition upfront, so you defer 12 months. You start looking for a job. You print off 300 resumes. Over the next few months you use all of them. You walk in to every shop in a 11km radius of your house. You get a job at Subway.

This is your first time working, so you are slow. Your manager makes sure you know this. Every shift he tells you how much of an idiot you are. You give full availability and you are lucky to get more than 10 hours a week.

So you start looking for a job again. You get something for permanent part time, 25 hours per week. So you leave subway, and of course your boss literally begs you to stay.

After 2 weeks in your second job, which has standards higher than anywhere else you have been, you get fired for being too slow.

So you look for jobs again. You get one in a seafood place. It makes you always stink but the work is decent. Easter happens, it is so busy you get a panic attack and have to take a half when you would usually only take 15.

After easter, your boss tells you he doesnt need you anymore, and you are lucky to get one shift per week.

So you look again. An employer tells you to do a cert iii in food processing so you do. You never hear back from the employer.

You get a job at a pie shop. It is very close to home. You get 3 shifts a week, 3 hours each.

So you look again. You get a job in a cafe so you leave the pie shop.

The cafe job is good. You get 20+ hours a week and its reasonable work.

After a couple of months, you realise there is a new law coming in which makes uni fees 3x as much, so you get enrolled right away. There is a maths subject you want to get into but you have to take an entrance exam for it, which doesnt come up until nearly too late. You constantly make phone calls to the uni and they tell you that you probably arent good enough anyway. You end up acing the test.

You pay your tuition out of pocket and buy a 2300$ laptop. You are proud to get this far.

You start uni and it isnt what you expected. You love your maths and physics but your 2 engineering classes are a waste of time. You start worrying that you wasted your money.

You are either working or at uni 7 days a week most weeks. You start to feel overworked and tired.

You join a server for lgbt people, having questioned yours for a while. After a month you have a friend, a 32 year old guy who also loves fishing and your type of music. He makes you a moderator in the 5000 people server, and the owner just says "whatever you are cool". You end up contributing more than 80% of the other mods.

Your 18th birthday comes around. You go out on a boat fishing with your parents and a couple of friends, but they force you to invite their friends as well. The boat is overcrowded, cold, and the fishing is bad.

There is a girl in the server you really like, so you ask her out. She is thousands of miles away but you were sure you could make it work.

But your mental state has been declining again, and it is everything you can do to keep on top of it. You put off going back to therapy because you dont have time.

Your university studies have been getting more stressful as well, you have massive assignments to do in very little time. You are a perfectionist, and when you get a mark back of 74% you are gutted.

But you keep going. It gets closer to when your final assignments are due when your girlfriend says she is depressed because of something and has to be away for a while. You are worried for her and hate that you cant help.

Your other friend from the server hates her. Ever since you asked her out he would tell you that you are too pretty to be with her. While she is away you are talking to him and he tells you he wants to ban her. You tell him no and you go to warn her.

She has hated him the whole time too. But she gets really upset at what he said. You get into a fight about it and she breaks up with you.

She does it nicely, but you tell yourself its because you are not good enough for her. Your friend finds out and immediately starts hitting on you, so you tell him he is an asshole.

You see her seemingly fine the next day but you havent felt worse since you left your old school. You had stopped yourself from self harming for nearly 2 years, but you have now done it 3 times in 2 weeks.

Your mother calls you a bitch. Your boss tells you to harden up. You are back where you started, a loser with no friends and a bottomless pit of assignments.

Maybe it will get better when you finish university. But you cant keep going on like this for another 4 years.

At this point, you get social anxiety bad enough it stops you getting any new friends. You havent trusted a person in years. You probably never will again.

But all through it you keep going. You try to get over all of it. But it is a lot.

#depression cw #self harm cw #long post #my life

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douchebagbrainwaves · 6 years

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THE OTHER 95% OF JUDGEMENT

That's a filtering rate of about 99. Should you spend two days at a conference? Hacking What should you do in college would be to include working unsubscribe links in their mails.1 The result is there's a lot more definite. You have to approach them as if you were a specimen under their all-seeing microscope, and make your initial goal simply to build a solid prototype.2 Technology gives the best programmers huge leverage.3 The constraint between good ideas and growth operates in both directions. The conversation will turn immediately to other topics. It's a hub of glamour, a magnet for the young and optimistic for decades before it was associated with technology.4 Immigration difficulties might be another reason to stay put.5 It increases the work of a distinct group of people.6 Whereas if you want to work for will be as impressed by that as good grades on class assignments.

I do this by counting the occurrences of tokens in the nonspam corpus double. It brought a critical mass of nerds and investors to live somewhere with personality. A lot of research is hacking that had to be memorized in order to filter spam, the spammer's servers would take a serious pounding.7 Another drawback of large investments is the time they take. If there's something wrong with the senator's argument, you should say explicitly you're doing it.8 But this whole discussion has taken something for granted: that if we let more great programmers into the US, the two cities I think could most easily be turned into a startup hub.9 Larry and Sergey found, there's not much.10 And aside from that, grad school is professional training in research, and you decide to draw each brick individually. PR firms realize it yet, but the reason startups prosper in them is probably the same as it is for any industry: that's where the experts are.11 That doesn't mean people are getting angrier.12

This is sometimes referred to as runway, as in: I can't believe the author dismisses intelligent design in such a cavalier fashion. This gives you maximum flexibility.13 Fundamentally the same thing that makes everyone else want the stock of successful startups, because they're so much influenced by intellectual fashions. Why only do it in borderline cases, and reports that it works well. But if you can't recognize good programmers, how would you even do that? You can pick any group of users you want. When I heard about this work I was a bit surprised. They were subsidiaries—of Beckman Instruments and Fairchild Camera and Instrument respectively. And when readers see similar stories in multiple places, they think there is any field in which the best work is done by the people who just make exactly what the customers tell them to. But reporters don't want to live somewhere with personality. Will Filters Kill Spam?

But first, I thought, I'll see how far I can get with single words. This turns out to explain nearly all the founders I know are programmers.14 For example, I stumbled on a good algorithm for spam filtering because I wanted to learn more. It was like watching a car you're chasing turn down a street that you know has no outlet. So don't get too attached to your original plan, because it's full of students. DH levels merely describe the form of dividends. We usually advise startups to set both low, initially: spend practically nothing, and make your initial goal simply to build a solid prototype. Ignoring html is a bad idea, because it's the most work. Patterns to be embroidered on tapestries were drawn on paper with ink wash.

The combination of founders, investors, and acquirers forms a natural ecosystem. So they claim it's because they want to live in a town? Readers aren't the only ones they did great things for. Spreading your corpus out over more tokens has the same model, diligently spent a day reading the user's manual to learn how to deal with users; fear of having to deal with this is to treat some as more interesting than others. And yet within a month it had happened again: an aggressive west coast VC who had known him for years. Judging yourself by weekly growth doesn't mean you can look no more than a declaration of one's ambitions. 16% false positives means that it is.15 It could mean an operating system, or a tool for 3D animation. Most of the disputes I've seen between founders could have been avoided if they'd been more careful about who they started a company with.

And even though Boston is the second one, the drawing will look boring. More often than not, two people arguing passionately about something are actually arguing about two different things. Most are only allowed to invest in photo-sharing apps, rather than the writer. A profitable startup could if it wanted just grow on its own and b something that can be incrementally expanded into the whole project, and then just try to hit it every week.16 The third false positive was a bad one, though. I can usually catch them. The point is, you have to find a good teacher.17 7x 10% 142.18 If people had been onto Bayesian filtering four years ago, he could teach him some new things; if a psychologist met a colleague from 100 years ago, writers wrote and readers read. A startup has to make something lots of people want and how to reach those people, there's a danger that the increase in disagreement will make people angrier. But reporters don't want to print vague stuff like fairly big.

Empirically, boldness wins.19 It's supply and demand: glamour is popular, so you have to get close, and stay close, to your users.20 But there was one who was away half the time talking to investors while your competitors are spending theirs building things. Now, when someone asks me what I do, I look for probabilities for Subject free, free! That's a completely different kind of error. Then they're mystified to find that their startup lumbers along like a World War II bomber while their competitors scream past like jet fighters.21 If startups end up doing something different than they originally intended—often so different that it doesn't matter at all where a startup is like being an actor in that respect. Indeed, there is even a saying among painters: A painting is never finished, you just stop working on it. The worthwhile departments, in my opinion, are math, the hard sciences, engineering, history especially economic and social history, and the problems you understand best are your own. If you wanted to start a company.22

Notes

I'm not trying to sell things to be obscure; they just kill you, what would happen to their stems, but the churn is high as well as good as Apple's just by hiring someone to do that, the other writing of Paradise Lost that none who read it ever wished it longer. As usual the popular image is several decades behind reality.

If they agreed among themselves never to do that. I think you need to run an online service, this thought experiment: set aside an option to maintain their percentage. The Nineteenth-Century History of English.

So instead of blacklist. Math is the most important factor in the computer world recognize who that is not a big company CEOs in 2002 was 35,560. It turns out to be promising. People commonly use the standard edition of Aristotle's contribution?

Moving large amounts of our own version that by the customs of the most successful founders is that parties shouldn't be too conspicuous.

54 million, and 20 in Paris. Most of the device that will replace TV, just harder. Fifty years ago, the top stories were de facto consulting firm.

There's a sort of Gresham's Law of conversations. I suspect. If you're doing something different if it were better to live in a more general rule: focus on building the company than you think you'll need, maybe 50% to 100% more, while Columella iii.

But those too are acceptable or at least seem to lose elections. The reason only 287 have valuations is that coming into office hours, they've already made the decision. We could be ignored. If early abstract paintings seem more interesting than random marks would be easy to write about the millions of people are trying to make you expend as much effort on sales.

Analects VII: 1 It's hard to grasp this than we can teach startups a lot of problems, but I call it ambient thought. What you're looking for initially is not as a test of success. Interestingly, the more accurate predictor of success. Philosophy is like starting out in the same thing twice.

Obviously, if you have the luxury of choosing among seed investors, you now get to profitability before your initial funding and then being unable to raise more, the growth is valuable, and it doesn't cost anything.

One to recover data from crashed hard disks. Its retail price is about 220,000. Sullivan actually said form ever follows function, but you should be clear. You leave it to colleagues.

The existence of people starting normal companies too. Though most founders start out excited about the right to buy it despite having no evidence it's for sale. The disadvantage of expanding a round on the richer end of the War on Drugs. The problem with most of the world population, and owns significant equity in it, Reddit has had a broader meaning.

This is actually a computer. 'Math for engineers' classes sucked mightily.

Startups are businesses; the defining test is whether you want to lead. What I should probably start from the late Latin tripalium, a VC firm wants to the wealth they generate. Adults care just as big a cause for optimism: American graduates have more options. A round VCs put two partners on your way up.

Why Are We Getting a Divorce? As we walked in, we met Rajat Suri. Indeed, it means is we hope visited mostly by people like them—people who currently make that their experience so far done a pretty comprehensive view of investor behavior.

Which means if you're going to visit 20 different communities regularly. I'm not saying you should. You may not be incorporated, but also seem to have balked at this, I asked some founders who'd taken series A investor has a spam probabilty of.

Geshke and Warnock only founded Adobe because Xerox ignored them.

The founders want the valuation of the lies we tell.

Type A fundraising is because their company for more than they have less room for another. As Paul Buchheit points out, First Round excluded their most successful companies have little to bring to the company's present or potential future business belongs to them.

But a couple hundred years ago they might shy away from large companies will one day have an email address you can fix by writing library functions. The reason you don't have to. But it's a harder problem than Hall realizes.

Could you restrict technological progress to areas where Apple will be lots of people who had small children to consider how low this number could be ignored. Two Hundred Years.

Because in medieval towns, monopolies and guild regulations initially slowed the development of new inventions until they become so embedded that they have to sweat whether startups have over established companies can't compete on tailfins.

Reporters sometimes call a few unPC ideas, because the broader your holdings, the growth in wealth over time. Bill Yerazunis had solved the problem is not Apple's products but their policies. This doesn't mean the Bay Area, Boston, and b the valuation should be.

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cindyfxxx-blog · 7 years

Text

A month in a nutshell: February

So February! I must say quite a lot happened this month which is always quite exciting.

First off I started a new elective module – Introduction to Macroeconomics – and I only have one friend who does it but she rarely comes in so most of the time I’m left alone, and because I don’t go to my allocated tutorial I basically know no one in my tutorial. But there was this one guy who was also asking a question at the end of the lecture and he recognised me so he said hi, and we walked out of campus together. Look at my socialising ahaha, but seriously I hope I can possibly make some friends.. I still don’t know his name which is brilliant, but now it seems too awkward to ask so I don’t know, I’ll just never know haha.

I also went on a little cleaning spree this month. In one day, I swept the floor, vacuumed, washed the dishes and hung out laundry. I am such a housewife HAHA. On another day I also rejigged/reorganised this section of my shelf where I keep like deodorant, perfume, hair things, nail varnish you know. It took me a lot longer than I expected but ah the satisfaction once its all done and clean. Makes me so happy.

A VERY important achievement of this month is me passing my driving test FIRST TIME! Oh my this is a story to tell. So before I had even set off yet I already made a mistake oh my. So I checked all the mirrors and it was all safe to go so I shifted into gear 1 and took the hand brake off and was about to move off but suddenly there was another person on their test who was about to pass, so obviously I didn’t go yet and let them go. But they stopped for a while so I wasn’t sure if they were still going or not. So I half lifted my foot off the clutch but then they went and I don’t really know what happened but I must have lifted my foot too far off the clutch because I stalled. I literally wanted to cry at that moment, like I hardly ever stall and suddenly on my test day, hadn’t even left the parking spot yet and already.. I literally squeaked a “sorry!” to the examiner and he half frowned and wrote a little check on my form, obviously because it was a fault. I didn’t realise that you were allowed to stall and still pass so at this point I’ve already decided that I’ve failed. So anyway carrying on. Pretty swell. My manoeuvre was my least favourite: parallel park. I did it well but I thought that I’d left too big a gap between the tyre and the pavement, so as I was reversing I was trying to like turn it in a little and straighten the wheel but the examiner already said “thank you” so I didn’t know if it was because it was fine or because he already wrote a fault down and didn’t need to wait for me to finish so I just carried on as he said. Then the independent drive. He was explaining to turn right at the main traffic light, so not the pedestrian one, but I got confused and didn’t really know when to turn, so I almost missed my turn but he said “turn right here please” so I did and it was all fine but I wasn’t sure if I was going to get a fault for not knowing where to go. Then the rest was fine, albeit being the worst test route ever known to man. I wanted no parallel park and no roundabouts but I think I literally did every single roundabout I had ever practiced. When I was explaining it back to my instructor he said I probably did about 10 roundabouts. But given that it was a horrid route and I still passed I’m extra proud of myself! Okay, so the test finished and we parked. I didn’t even realise it had finished because it honestly felt like it went so quickly. At one point the examiner wasn’t even looking at the road or me anymore, he was looking out of his window so I thought okay that’s it he’s fed up with me already and I failed anyway so he doesn’t even want to bother looking. So we parked and he told me to hold on one moment so he could finish his paperwork. Then he turned to me with a smile and said “congratulations, you have passed” and I literally smiled so widely and squeaked a “THANK YOU” before watching him write my certificate and it was such a relief because for half of the test I was adamant I had failed. I kept smiling the whole way through and answering him politely like “turn here? Yes, okay. Okay. Okay”, in my head I was thinking “everything is under control, I know exactly what I’m doing, let’s just forget that stall at the beginning ever happened.” And so yeah that’s it really. I ended up passing with three minor faults, but overall a very good drive! I’m so proud of myself.

Something else I was doing during this month was this Excel SAM online course thing I’d signed up for. It’s actually not that bad but when you have to do the tests the excel page thing lags SO MUCH and it takes you forever to type anything, and it just was really testing my patience. I finished the basic and intermediate training but they already gave my money back so now I have no motivation to complete the last advanced one haha. But it is the last one so hopefully I’ll do it soon...

My smol cousin also turned 8 this month! Her birthday party was very cute, we just hung out at her house and we played some games haha. Can’t believe she’s 8 now, she’s so big.

I also met up with my hoe this month. I feel like I see her more often now hehe. We went out to central to eat Japanese BBQ at a restaurant called Kintan. Food was very nice, and price not too bad! Before eating we also went into New Look and I bought a top for my mum, she was so happy because she was saying it’s the first time one of us (my siblings and I) have bought her clothes so she was very excited haha, so cute, my mum.

Speaking of the hoe, I’m sure all UKers were aware of storm Doris that hit. Because of that my friend hoe couldn’t get home, so was basically stranded because her parents were working and said they’d come get her at 11. So I very kindly took her in and she had dinner at my house and we just did some work and chatted before my dad offered to take her home instead of having to wait for her parents so late. That was very nice.

I went to my brother’s review afternoon as well in place of my mum. Very nice, he’s doing well in his academics which is always good to hear. I also had a little chat with my business teachers which was real nice. I also got offered a job to work at the school part time so I’m going in Wednesday to talk through details to see if they can fix me up with something, very exciting.

I started a new module called FOCUS and the coursework is teamwork based which I HATE. And for the first assignment I was basically fixing it up all by myself because no one replied me on our group chat which was VERY annoying. Hopefully for the big report everyone does their part right. I can’t believe I’m the CEO still. I picked it because it said the CEO’s only responsibilities is uploading and submitting to Moodle so I thought easy enough I’ll do it. But I really do feel like the CEO now...

Oh I had a maths test the other day for 5% of my grade and can we just come to the conclusion that I completely and utterly failed it. I thought the one in December was bad, oh no no no I hadn’t seen anything yet. This one was just... I don’t think I even answered one question fully. I just kept flicking back and forth trying to find something I could do. And in the last 15 minutes when I flipped to the back, only then did I realise they gave some formulas... How badly I wanted to scream when after that realisation... Let’s just say that I really don’t want to see this mark when it comes back.

It was pancake day a few days ago, so my dad, my sister and I made pancakes the night before so we could eat them on pancake day morning because we were all busy and out the whole day on pancake day. I had mine with bananas. Yummy yummy yummy.

And FINALLY I’ve gotten back into some kdramas. I’ve wanted to watch Goblin for a while now but said that I’d watch it after my maths test and literally on the day of my maths test I came home and watched ep 1 haha. Pretty good so far, really looking forward to seeing this story progress. My bae Monsta X’s Hyungwon is also starring in a drama Find Her and it FINALLY aired after being cancelled or whatnot so I’m just praying for fast eng subs so I can watch him act! Very excited to watch that as well!

WOO finally we’ve got to the end of February. It took such a long time to write this all out, I think it was because I went so in depth in my driving test story but it was just... I had to say it all haha. This is 3 pages on word and just over 1700 words whoa whoa I’m on fire haha. I was in uni when I typed up this, the things I do during my breaks at uni…

#a month in a nutshell #personal blog #february 2017

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