#I have a very intense connection to it and I don’t rly know why but everytime I lose it I can’t stop looking until I find it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ppersonna · 4 years

Text

repentance - knj | m

now, let's imprint my name on that trophy and come back home - come back home, BTS

↳ summary- your boyfriend, Kim Namjoon, doesn’t like it when you flirt with other guys

↳ rating- explicit / 18+

↳ word count- 6k

↳ pairing- namjoon x reader

↳ genre- smut, this is all smut, there is nothing but smut here, there is no god in this chili’s tonight. this actively takes us further from the light.

↳ warnings- very hard BDSM, name calling, degradation, humiliation, spitting, caning/spanking, collaring, bondage, squirting, overstimulation, impreg kink lmfao, face fucking, Namjoon is a v sadistic dom but he is still sane, after care is important,

↳ a/n- well folks. here it is. The fic that pushed me past my comfort zone lmfafskadf. i am 100% grateful to @sombreboy for assisting me with this and being silly as fuck in the google doc. i could not have done it without his guidance lmfaooo. this was requested by anon and i hope i did it justice and i rly appreciate getting sent things that make me write things i normally wouldn’t! thank you for believing in me lmfao. pls feel free to interact with me however u want bc i love you all. Thanks for reading! namjoon if ur reading this pls forgive me

“I hope you had your fun, doll,“ Namjoon whispers harshly in your ear as you walk with him away from the dance studio. You’re covered in sweat, hot, and still you’re shaking like a leaf at the tone of your boyfriend’s voice.

So maybe you broke the rules. Maybe you danced with Jimin at practice a little too intensely, a little too provocatively. Maybe you grinded up against the blonde harder than you should, making the dancer sport a tent in his pants.

And maybe you did it in front of your boyfriend, that man who loved and dominated you.

Is it too late to say oops?

Namjoon is silent on the drive home. His face is expressionless, but his eyes give it away. He looks a touch angry, a touch excited, but he mostly radiates possession. If there’s something that Namjoon hates, it’s sharing you.

Your playful flirting with Jimin had been just that—playful. Jimin was your dance partner going on 10 years now, ranging from ballroom to jazz and tap, to contemporary and international. Jimin was always your go-to guy, best friend, and occasional fuck buddy. Namjoon knew this, knew the history between you two, but still allowed you your freedom in dancing and competing with the blonde. Sometimes it was just so easy to fall back on old habits, when you’d grind on Jimin so hard that he’d rip your shorts down and take you against the hardwood floor of the studio.

Even though you were quite happy in your relationship with Namjoon, it was hard to re-route the synapses that led elsewhere when you were dancing.

But you loved Namjoon, and you had for a long time. It was something you were working on, the flirting and the carelessness. Namjoon was supportive, loving, and a natural caretaker.

He was also a sadistic Dominant.

Where Namjoon was sensitive, sweet, communicative and giving in the streets, he was disgusting and filthy and downright heinous in the sheets.

And you loved every single aspect of it. There was nothing that thrilled you more than the control he wielded on you, the power in his gaze and in his hand, and the possession he took of you.

It was the reason none of your relationships worked out before him. Sure, there had been pleasant guys and excellent fucks like Jimin. But Namjoon was the entire package, plus some. You trusted him with your entire life, your whole being. He grew up alongside you, and you knew the man would rather injure himself than ever cause you harm.

It’s what made the punishments, the pain, even more delicious. He took you to your breaking point, sometimes even further, because he knew you could take it. And you trusted, loved and adored him for it.

But that didn’t mean it was easy.

No, while the punishments and pain were fun in the long run, they still sent a thrill of fear down your spine.

It’s been awhile since you got your boyfriend this worked up. Things had been pretty smooth sailing for the last few months. Sure, he was still a maniac in bed, but it was the scripted and practiced scenes you both knew by heart. Schoolgirl, nurse, secretary.

But this was real. Tangibly real. You could feel the tension rolling off his toned body, the heat of it ensnaring you, tying you up tight.

You want to apologize, open your mouth and begin the litany of sorry’s and I didn’t mean to’s, but your throat felt dry. You knew it was useless to try now, and the act might make him more upset.

The punishment he would inflict upon you would absolve you, baptize you of your sins. He’d sacrifice your flesh to be remade.

The car pulls into the garage of your shared home. Namjoon parks, closes the heavy door behind the car, then sits in the car staring straight ahead.

He’s silent for a moment. It puts your nerves on edge and he knows this, knows you hate the silence more than anything else.

“You are going to get naked. Right now.” He orders, still not facing you. He focuses his eyes on the wall of your garage. “You will leave your dirty clothes outside where they belong. And you will crawl from the car into the house.”

You nibble at your lip, waiting for more instructions. He turns and levels a look at you, and your body lights with fire.

“I want you to retrieve your collar and the handcuffs and bring them to me in the bedroom. You will get in position for me.”

He looks at you once more, seeking your eyes for any sign of fear, anything to tell him he’s going too far.

While your heart races, you nod and swallow tightly. You’re scared but not enough to stop him. You have a safe word for a reason but you haven’t needed to use it yet and you trust Namjoon more than you trust yourself.

He takes stock of your agreement and exits the car, leaving you alone as he trudged up the stairs leading to the house.

It takes one shuddering breath before you step out of the car, peel your sweaty workout clothes off, and slide down to your knees. There're cameras in the garage for security, and you know he’s watching them to ensure you’re listening to his orders.

The floor of the garage is dirty. You take one movement forward and look at your hands to find they’re already covered in black soot from the dirt and oils of the car tires driving in and out. You make a face but quickly pull out of it. This is your punishment.

You crawl up the steps and gingerly open the door, then make your way to your linen closet where your collar and handcuff remain when you’re not at home.

Namjoon gifted you with a home collar and a public collar. The public collar is a beautiful diamond circle pendant that hits right at the hollow of your throat.

The home collar, however, is made out of a study leather material, embedded with gorgeous diamonds. It’s heavy against your throat when you wear it. It’s a constant reminder of your subservient relationship to your Dom, your boyfriend.

The handcuffs hang from their specified hook. Black leather with chains connecting the cuffs. They’re strong, incredibly so, and the thought of being locked up makes your core tighten in excitement and fear.

With the items secure in your grasp, you return to your kneeling position and continue crawling towards the bedroom where your boyfriend awaits. Something inside you bubbles fiercely—what does he have planned for you? It’s been awhile since you’ve been quite literally at his mercy.

Namjoon is standing in front of the bed, arms crossed over his chest as you enter the room. You keep your eyes down, not making contact until he instructs for you to do so. You can feel the power and heat oozing off him, surrounding him like a cloud of authority. You approach and sit in front of him, knees spread wide and sat back on your heels. Your hands offer up the collar and the cuffs, palms up, as you avert his gaze.

“Look at you,” he tuts. “Filthy...” He removes the collar and cuffs off your hands and gazes at the black soot remaining from the dirty garage floor,

“But it suits you perfectly, doesn’t it?”, his voice was almost mocking you, ‘’A dirty slut.’’

Quite literally.

Namjoon sets aside your collar on the edge of the bed before crouching in front of you, a lopsided grin curling on his lips as he grabs your wrists as to inspect them,

‘’Even your pretty little hands are soiled, angel.’’ he tsked in disapproval, the mere sound of it making you feel smaller, eyes still fixed on the floor. After all, he hadn’t told you to look at him as of yet.

You don’t know why you thought he would ask you to wash your hands, but you quickly threw aside your anticipations as it catches you off guard with what he does next.

‘’Palms up, angel. Show me your hands.’’

A confused second passed, but you obliged nonetheless, raising both of your hands, palms up to him as if you were begging for something.

The mere sight was absolutely gorgeous to Namjoon.

Without a word, Namjoon collects enough saliva in his mouth, grabbing your wrists to pull your hands closer, letting his spit drip from his tongue down to pool in your hands. Your eyes widen as they stare at the floor, arms twitching instinctively at the foreign sensation.

His grasp around your wrists tightens, ‘’Stay still… Be a good girl, yeah?’’

You nod, relaxing your arms. However the muscles in them feel tired from holding them out for him like this. He knows, he can tell, but says nothing about it. He loves to watch you struggle, adamant to please him.

Besides, you deserve it, don’t you?

Once more, Namjoon spits in your hands. This time, it has a degrading intention; a harsh spitting sound as it lands in your hand. He stands up again, the angle even more delicious from above as he watches you obediently hold his pooled saliva like it was the most precious gift from him.

‘’Go on... Clean up.’’

You bite your lip as the slick saliva spreads in your hands. Your body thrums with humiliation and desire, mixing to make your legs quiver where they kneel before him. You clasp your hands together and rub your boyfriends spit in your hands, attempting to remove as much of the dirt as possible with what he’s given you. It’s messy—the spit is black from the soot. His eyes take you in, the image of you cleansing yourself with him, accepting his spit like the dirty whore you are, that he loves. It makes his cock throb in his jeans. Nothing gets him off quicker than putting you in your place, seeing you accept his degradation with pink cheeks and frightened eyes.

He pulls his shirt off his body and throws it to you carelessly.

“Use it to dry your hands,” he orders.

You comply, wiping the last off you with his shirt.

“Let me see.” You hold your hands up for him to inspect and he smirks, ‘’Good little slut.’’

His hands open the collar wide and you jerk slightly as you feel the pressure of it on your neck. Namjoon pulls it tight around you for a moment, cutting off your air supply, before he releases and secures the collar to sit high on your throat. The ‘O’ ring sits at the center proudly, a place he often uses to leash and drag you around like his pretty, perfect pet.

He moves away from you and towards the armoire at the side of your bedroom. Your heart gallops wildly. The armoire is full of his toys, punishment and reward alike. The unknowing of what he’s getting out to use on you has your cunt dripping with desire and fright.

There’s silence as he gathers his tools, then returns and places them on the nightstand.

“Look at me.” His voice is firm, unwavering.

You let your eyes flick up to his and your breath catches. He looks incredible. Shirtless, tight pants straining with the bulge of his cock, power exuding from his very pores. Your eyes dance on his chest for just a moment, soaking in the refined lines, then settle at his eyes. They’re darkened with lust, with intention. He looks at you like you are his next, and final, meal.

“I want you to bend over the bed. You will spread your legs and push out your pretty little ass. I’m going to cane you for what you’ve done today.”

Your eyes widen, and he relishes in the fright lingering. He hasn’t used the cane on you in a long time. It’s the most intense tools of impact you own—the one you’re most frightened of.

“You know your safe word, don’t you?” He asks.

You nod.

He tsks. “I asked you a question. Don’t make me open up that mouth for you. You won’t like what I’ll do.”

A shiver runs through you as you weakly open your mouth. “Yes, sir. My safe word is orange.”

He nods. “Good girl. Let’s hope we won’t need it and you’ll take what you are given, hm?” Another nod from you. “Now, do as you’re told.”

You hop up quickly, knees painfully red and sore now, and move towards the bed. You arch down, sticking your ass out towards your boyfriend and spreading your legs shoulder-length apart. He can see all of you, slick folds weeping with desire and anticipation, legs shaking in fear and arousal.

It’s intoxicating to Namjoon, the way you behave and listen. He loves the fright inside you, the way it soaks your cunt for him. He knows the cane is on the verge of being too much, he knows you’ll be weeping both from eyes and pussy at the end of it.

The wood is heavy in his hands. The cane is only a bit longer than a paddle, but it packs an even more intense blow.

“Tell me what you did today. Why do you deserve my cane?” He asks, allowing the cane to tap at your cheeks lightly. It makes you jerk and clutch at the blankets below you.

“I—I was dancing with Jimin, sir,” you murmur, voice tight with anxiety.

“Ah ah, you weren’t just dancing,” he corrects. “Don’t pretend to be innocent. You know what you did.”

As you open your mouth to speak, he brings the cane down at the tops of your thighs. It cracks heavily on the skin and makes your knees give out. The sting is like white, hot fire on your thighs. It burns, and makes your cunt clench around nothing. Tears spring at your eyes as you try to answer him.

“I was grinding on him!” you cry as your legs return to standing to accept the next blow.

“You were being a little. fucking. slut.” he intones, then punctuates his words with another whip of the cane—right at the center of your ass. The sound of it hitting your flesh echoes in the bedroom you share, and it makes you cry out in pain. Your knuckles were white from the grasp of the blankets—tears flooding you and spilling onto the duvet. “Say it!” He orders.

You whimper through your words. “I was being a slut, sir!”

‘’That’s right, you were being a filthy, horny cockslut.’’ He snarls, another whip echoing in the room as it falls harshly on your skin, ‘’Horny for Jimin’s cock with the way you were grinding on him, by the looks of it, isn’t that right?’’

He laughs mockingly, landing another whip on the same spot he previously caned, it would definitely bruise. But you didn’t care. And neither did he, he fucking loves your cries.

‘’Tell me, who’s cock are you really a whore for?!’’

He holds the cane high, anticipating your answer.

‘’Y-yours, daddy-- p-please!’’ You cry out, clawing at the sheets, legs quivering.

‘’That’s right, but apparently, you didn’t remember that today, angel.’’ He says with an awfully calm voice, cane still held high.

He ends his caning with one final blow, and it makes your vision black out with the intensity. You’re sobbing now, weeping into the blankets as your legs shake.

It’s the most intense pain you’ve ever felt, ever been dealt from your loving boyfriend. It forces you to understand just how upset you made him, just how angry watching you attempt to seduce another man makes him.

“You’re my little cumslut, you hear that? Mine!”

His hands smooth over your reddened ass, harsh burgundy lines marking where he punished you thoroughly. It makes you whimper through your cries, his warm hands simultaneously soothing and agitating the marks.

He only remains for a moment, ensuring the flare of pain is soothed. As sadistic as he is, he remains sane enough to ensure your safety. Your whimpers have slowed slightly, and he takes it as his opportunity to move on.

He reaches for the handcuffs and takes advantage of your prone position, bent over the bed. He works them around your wrists, tightening them just enough to leave you helpless. He pulls you up and presses his back against you, face at your ear.

“You took your first punishment well,” he encourages as he licks a stripe on your throat, right above the collar that symbolizes you as his. “But I’m not finished with you,” he sighs. “Little cock whores like you are never satisfied with just one little punishment, aren’t you?”

You sniffle and nod. “No sir, I n-need more.”

He chuckles—it’s dark and ominous.

“Dirty fucking slut.”

He turns you to face him and he kisses you roughly, no sign of the sweet and sensitive boyfriend. It’s the Jekyll to his Hyde; the sadistic Dom now kissing you cares only of getting off and making you take it.

His mouth is fiery—teeth biting at your lips and growling when he slips his tongue in your mouth.

“Gonna make you remember who the fuck you belong to, baby girl,” he warns as he pulls away. He urges you down to your knees and you’re easily complying.

His hands are at his jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping and making your mouth salivate in anticipation.

He steps out of his jeans, and you’re rewarded with his thick cock springing free from the confines of his jeans. You should have expected your boyfriend to go without boxers, but it’s a pleasant surprise nonetheless.

“Look at you,” he notes. “So desperate for my cock.” He grips it and teases it in front of you. You want to lean forward, capture it in your lips but you refrain and wait for the order.

“You think you deserve this? You think I should let you suck my dick after that little show you put on today?” He gives his length a stroke and it makes you nearly whine with need. “Little fucking bitch wants any cock she can get, why should I let you have mine?”

Your eyes shine with tears, still lingering from your caning and refreshing now with wet, hot desire for him.

“Beg.” He orders, holding his dick in front of your face tauntingly.

“P-please, daddy. Let me suck your cock,” you blubber. “Let me show you that you’re the only cock I need.”

He hums and strokes himself. Watching you nearly weep with want and beg to suck him off has his head reeling. The power rushes through his veins like a drug.

“I think you can do better than that,” he sighs. “Why shouldn’t I just jerk myself off and cum on that pretty face of yours?”

Tears freely spill down your face now. “I want you to use me, I want to let you fuck my throat raw, please, sir!” You sound completely gone and Namjoon feels his impossibly hard cock flex at your needy tone. “Please fuck my throat like the cock whore I am!”

“That’s fucking right,” he grunts. “Open that fucking mouth for me.” Your mouth opens and he’s leaning down to spit harshly at your waiting tongue. It makes you jerk, but you reserve yourself and accept it. “Filthy little bitch.”

He moves forward and sets his cock on your tongue and almost groans at the feel of your hot mouth, swirling with his spit now.

“Make me cum with your mouth, you don’t get to use those hands today.”

He wastes no time on shoving his length into you and down your throat. He gives a few precursory thrusts and sighs as he feels your throat gagging around him and hears your desperate, wet sounds. Tears flow freely—your mascara is smearing down your face as you look up at him, mouth stuffed full. It’s the prettiest sight he thinks he’s ever seen. You’re desperate, absolutely fucked out for him. Saliva dribbles down your mouth and he fucking loves it when you become a mess on his cock.

“Pathetic.’’ He murmurs. But truly, he thinks it was beautiful—the way you desperately take his cock down your throat, the needy look in your teary eyes and the muffled whines vibrating in your throat at his fake disapproval. It makes you work harder, eager to make him feel good.

You bob your head, keeping your eyes locked on Namjoon—he loves it when you’re giving him your undivided attention. It’s sloppy, and you’re loud. Namjoon fucking lives for when all your inhibitions are gone and you’re wanton and horny like a porn star desperate for work.

“Fuck, such a good throat,” he drags a finger up it as he forces his cock to the back of your mouth. He can feel the ridge of his cock through your neck and he nearly cums from that alone. “Taking it so fucking good.” He grips your head and desperately fucks into your mouth. You squeeze your eyes shut and will your gag reflex away, let him use you as he sees fit. You egg him in with licks of your tongue as he thrusts in and out, and by the filthy noises you make with each press.

Saliva is dropping out of your lips, and his it covers his cock. Namjoon feels his balls tighten impossibly and knows he’s close.

“Does my cockslut want daddy’s cum? You want me to coat that little throat with it?” He keeps his pace and you nod through your tears. He grunts his approval and picks up the pace, only to explode through his orgasm soon after. His cock pulses as he emptied himself into your mouth and throat, and you suck harder as if thirsty for it.

He pulls it out a moment later with a sated sigh. “My little cum dump,” he smirks as he runs a finger over your lips. “Swallow it all.” You nod and visibly swallow his load, then hold your tongue out to prove it.

“Shit—so good. You’re such a whore you could drink my cum all day, couldn’t you?”

“Yes, daddy,” you whisper. Your throat is rough and sore from his thrusts but you can’t find it in you to care, not even a little bit.

You remain on your knees and he puts a finger under your chin and lifts it higher. “Doing so good, angel. Making me proud.”

It makes your heart nearly implode. Namjoon is sadistic and thrills in your anguish, but loves you all the same. He knows you’re not just able to take it, but you’re desperate to take it. You trust him to never hurt you in a way you couldn’t handle.

“Still have more for you, little one. I don’t think you quite understand who this body belongs to.”

Your eyes shine with excitement and Namjoon can’t help but to smile at it. He uncuffs you and you look perplexed. He never lets you out early.

“Up on the bed, on your back,” he states as he ignores your questioning look. You know better than to deny his order, so you rub at your wrists as you move towards the bed. Your knees are still throbbing from the pressure and you heave a pleased sigh as you melt into the mattress.

“I wouldn’t feel too comfortable,” he chuckles. “It won’t last long.”

In Namjoon’s hands is red shibari rope. It makes your stomach flip. It’s been so long since he’s trussed you up and it thrills you to see the familiar smooth bindings.

“Thighs to your chest,” he orders. “Spread them wide, show me this needy little cunt.”

You do as he says, pulling your thighs up to meet your chest and spreading them open. He stares at your core, it’s dripping now. It drips down you and stains the comforter. Namjoon tuts. If you’re this wet already, he knows he will need to change the sheets after he’s done with you.

“Look at you,” he intones. “A dumb little slut, open and ready for any cock she can get.” He drags a finger up and down your thigh.

Namjoon gets to work. He loves the way he loses himself in the art of tying you up. He loves watching your chest rise and fall and the little squeaks that come out of your mouth as he knots you up. He loops the rope around the left thigh, then draws in your left calf to tie it in. You’ll be spread open, unable to stretch your legs out until he gives you permission.

He glances up at you every so often as he continues, checking to make sure he’s not cutting off any vital circulation. As cruel as he is, he doesn’t intend to actually maim you. You never show a sign of pain, just the glazed look you hold as your body gives in to your subservient intuition. It makes Joon smile and his heart clench in his chest. He really fucking loves you.

You’re soon tied up completely from the waist down, both legs tied together and spread open with pussy on display. Your hands are free and just as you’re about to relish in it, Namjoon is looping more rope to tie each wrist to a bedpost. He grins as you gasp. You’re completely tied up and at his will, and you’re embarrassed at how open you are in front of him, how dripping wet you get from being tied up and useless.

Namjoon is moving around and you suddenly hear a vibration and it gets closer as he approaches you.

“Gonna make you cum for me, babygirl... Gonna play with you until you fucking squirt everywhere.”

Your legs clench together as you notice he is holding a Hitachi wand in his hand. You know the power it wields. It brings you to your finish nearly instantaneously. Which means Namjoon has decided your next punishment will be denying you any orgasm and continually bringing you to the edge… or making you cum so much your cunt hurts. You don’t know which is worse.

He notices the look on your face and grins. “Yeah, you know what this is, don’t you?”

Namjoon places the bulbous head of the wand on your cunt and you cry out instantly. He drags it up and down your drenched slit and you’re already feeling so close to the edge.

“You better fucking scream, don’t hold back,” he orders. “Remind this whole fucking neighborhood who gets you off. Make sure Park fucking Jimin hears it.”

He stops rubbing it up and down and lets it sit right on your clit and watches your face contort as your tied legs struggle against the wrappings. It’s too much, it feels like you’ve been lit up. Namjoon gloats in your struggle. He sees your cunt dripping with increasing fervor, can tell you’re squeezing those walls around nothing. He can’t wait to bury himself inside you once and for all and coat your walls with his cum.

“You know you better fucking ask permission to cum,” he reminds you. “You better not cum unless I tell you.”

Your tear-streaked face is twisted in pleasure, in pain. You feel yourself unwinding, increasing towards your finish like a bullet.

“D-Daddy! Please! I need to cum! Please!” You’re begging harder than you’ve begged in your life, you’re certain. It feels like the string inside you will snap any second now and you’re holding off the orgasm as hard as you can. Without the use of your legs, you find yourself unable to slow the inevitable.

“No,” he states firmly. “Fucking take it. You can keep going.” He growls his words and watches as your cunt is helpless. “Little whores like you can fucking take it.”

It’s useless, you’re falling apart at the seams. You’re pleading with him to let you cum, legs now completely convulsing in their restraints. It snaps, the coil inside bursts and you’re careening towards the end. You whine and cry helplessly as your pussy pulsates around nothing and oozes out your arousal. Your face burns in shame as you come down-—you know exactly what you’ve done wrong.

“S-sorry! I’m so sorry, Daddy!” Tears fall harder and you’re gasping for his forgiveness, for his mercy. “I’m so sorry!”

‘‘Tsk, tsk.’’ Namjoon tuts. “My little slut couldn’t even follow her one and only instruction.’’ He removes the wand for just a moment. “You better fucking listen this time.”

Your body feels overstimulated. The pleasure is bordering on painful and you yelp as Namjoon places it back on your overworked clit.

“You can make up for it if you squirt for me,” he grits. “Maybe I’ll stick my fingers in this tight cunt. Always so desperate for Daddy’s help, aren’t you?”

You whine at the thought of him filling you, but it’s overtaken by the feeling of the wand back on you. It’s painful, but it feels so good. Your body is held back by one single tripwire, ready to snap at any moment. Namjoon knew that restraining your arms and legs left you completely helpless to slow your own orgasms. He wanted you to fail, wanted to punish you for cumming when he knew damn well you wouldn’t last a fucking second under the wand’s vibrations.

“P--please!” your whines are breathy. You feel as if you’ve just run a marathon and you’re desperate for air. Your entire body is singing with rapture, with pain. You feel a deep desperation to feel him inside you. “I need you! Need your fingers!”

Namjoon groans at the sound of your whines. It’s his favorite, when you’ve finally snapped past a breaking point and he pushes you beyond. The way you’re desperate, begging and crying for him is pathetic. He fucking loves it.

“Fuck, listen to yourself,” he comments. His cock is raging again, hard and ready to bury itself inside you. But he waits. He’s nothing but patient for you. “You sound like a little fucking whore. Are you Jimin’s whore?”

You blubber a cry and shake your head, feeling the oncoming orgasm approaching again. It feels even more intense.

“No! I’m yours! O-only yours, Daddy!” The simple crying is turning into sobs and you both can tell you’re nearly on the edge.

“That’s fucking right,” he snarls. “This pussy belongs to me. Not fucking Jimin. Not even you. I own you.” His words run cold through your body, it feels as if your veins have iced over. You’re absolutely under his spell and control, and you’ve never loved anyone more.

“Cum for me, filthy slut. Let me see you get Daddy nice and messy.” He shoves two fingers inside you, and curls them to reach the spot that has you reeling. He knows he’s made it when you’re arching on the bed and screaming through your sobs.

“G-gonna cum, oh god--” you’re gasping for air, greedy for it. “There, f-fuck!”

The orgasm that hits you is stronger than any before. It feels like your cunt turns into a vice and you’re squeezing around his fingers so hard it makes Namjoon hiss. Your body spasmed and trembled as you came, and finally Namjoon is rewarded when your cunt gushes all over his fingers, dripping down his hand.

“Holy shit,” he gapes as you finally return to earth from your skyhigh completion. “Dirty fucking slut. You did so good.”

Namjoon’s cock is pulsating. He’s sure if he doesn’t get inside you, now, he’ll shatter.

“Nasty whore is going to get one more. You’re gonna cum on Daddy’s cock, aren’t you?”

You’re nodding weakly. You’re far gone, mind so dizzyingly high and body exhausted. “P-please, need you.”

He takes no care to line himself up or take time. He’s pressing against your hole in one moment and is buried to the hilt the next. You’re so wet it feels like he’s drowning and he throws his head back in bliss. Even after two explosive orgasms you’re tight around him, molding around each ridge of his cock.

“Oh, god--” he groans. “Sweetest pussy I’ve ever been in.” The praise doesn’t last long, so you soak it in while it lasts, ‘’Gonna pump you full of my cum, angel-- f-fuck..’’ You’re crying and whining as he pumps into you. It feels so good.

‘’Gonna have you nice and swollen with my child, so everybody knows just who the fuck this little whore belongs to.’’ His thrusts are so powerful that it’s almost as if he’s trying to fuse with you, he’s no longer holding back any reservations. His hips bump against you as he stuffs you full, chasing his end. He drops a hand to your clit, knowing it’s battered from the wand but can’t find it in him to care anyway. He wants you to orgasm again, and he’s going to get it. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? To be so plump and pregnant that everyone will know what a depraved, little bitch in heat you are for me.”

Impossibly, you feel your belly tighten and tug and you’re edging closer and closer to yet another orgasm that Namjoon will wrench out of you. You’re crying out, only able to whine and sob his name. He’s fucked the ability to talk right out of you, and you can only think about Namjoon and his fat cock drilling into you and filling you up as if his life depended on it.

Namjoon loves it when you’re fucked out completely. He can tell he’s close, and nearing closer as he watches your sobbing face, smeared with mascara, cry and gasp for his cum. He could cum from watching you beg alone, and now as he pounds into your juicy cunt he’s surrounded in pleasure.

“I’m going to cum--fuck. Gonna fucking fill you,” he hisses as he thrusts so hard it’s nearly bruising. His grip on your hips tighten, blunt nails digging into your skin as he lets out a loud and guttural moan as his cock desperately throbs inside of you. He keeps his power, but the pace dies down with each thrust. He fucks his cum deep inside you, and rubs at your clit punishingly. His warm seed jammed inside you snaps everything and you’re crying pathetically as you reach your high, walls contracting and milking him. Your vision is black and you only hear the rush of your blood in your ears.

It takes a few stuttering breaths to finally come to, and your vision returns to normal. Namjoon remains buried inside you and he’s panting just as hard as you. You’re both dripping in sweat and covered in your combined juices. He cups a hand on the side of your face and smiles at you as you both attempt to return to normal.

“That was good, wasn’t it?” He asks with a chuckle. He slowly pulls out of you and you’re wincing at the loss. You’re sure you won’t be able to walk, let alone even stand.

You nod gingerly. “Really fucking good.” you whisper. Everything is sore, and it’s a feeling you can’t compare to anything. It’s a burning ache that reminds you of Namjoon, of your love, of the trust you willingly hand over to him and the bliss he gives in return.

“Let’s run a bath,” he states as he leans down to kiss you, pressing his lips on yours in a sweet kiss. The Namjoon you love is back, the sweet and compassionate lover who cares about every single aspect of you.

“I would love that,” you sigh. “But, could we maybe untie my legs before I lose any more circulation?”

The both of you erupt into laughter as his hands work over the intricate knots. He winks.

“Needy little whore.”

#bts fic #bts smut #bts imagine #bts namjoon #hyungsmutsociety #ksmutclub #bts rm #namjoon smut

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zayphora · 2 years

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jessica telephone!

alright. I’m going to attempt—ATTEMPT—to be remotely normal and not explode in this post. jess is probably my all time favorite character, and means a lot to me, and that is kind of embarrassing but. whatever.

favorite thing about them: her character concept is just so everything to me, specifically her whole time travel thing, and her time travel stuff is rly integral to her character to me. a time traveler girl who can time travel to the 80’s of every century?? that’s so ridiculous and I love it. I’m convinced her original character concept had to have been a Doctor Who joke except in some convoluted way that implies that actually, the thing that is inherent about doctor who is that phones can time travel and you know what? Maybe they fuckin can. Maybe so. But like…the fact that that character concept also evolved with her in my head and then what you have eventually is this washed up starlet who was once the most famous girl in the world and once made everyone see the intensity of the fire she carried around inside her…it’s so much. I also like that I can draw her by going like (:::0 0)]. That’s very good to me.

Least favorite thing about them: That to so many people she’s a joke. That people think of “JT” and either think of people fighting over her or her being some sort of oversexualized hyper popular waifu, to the point that she was shunted from team to team and nobody wanted her until she finally met her end and they shipped what was left home? That breaks my heart, and it didn’t have to be like that. In the end, the trajectory she went on makes sense for her character, and it’s this really compelling story (to me it’s like, would you have wanted it to end any other way?) but like…man did it have to go like that dhbsbdbdbdb

Favorite line: God, it’s gotta be the end of Day X. It’s gotta be. I love Pods Jess so much. She’s so important to me.

Brotp: I’ve always thought it’s hard for Jess to make friends to some extent but I think that as a mint she and Twooney found some common ground. They’re both strange and they’re both one out of two. I also wrote a whole fic, which is a little outdated but still, about how she was friends with P4rker for a few days and his death hit her hard when she witnessed it.

Otp: god all my otp answers are about ships that got together and broke up and I’m continuing the train. I wrote about Jess and Paula Turnip, who I think dated while she was a Tiger and then broke up when Jess ghosted her after she feedbacked. And then they stayed bitter for YEARS and years and years.

Notp: I can’t do the has 37 wives thing, mostly because I cannot see her ever getting married. I think she’s had a lot of flings over her time but I can’t see her settling down like that.

Random headcanon: I’ve always seen her as being some ambiguous sort of part mechanical with her phone buttons on her face and her connection to the Dial Tone. I think if you startle her she beeps and makes a phone noise. I think that all of that is part of why it was absolutely brutal for her when she lost the Dial Tone and why that was a point of no return because it was like a part of her—and a part of how she perceived and conceptualized the world through her free-range time travel—that was cut away. Also, I think her nails are made out of the same material as her face buttons so it always looks like she has red painted nails, but they’re just like that.

Unpopular opinion: Jess is more than just Seb’s sister and her story is more than “the girl with the dead brother.” I know that people probably don’t think of it in those exact words but I just like…her only character trait is NOT just “I’m sad because I have a dead brother and I’m not famous anymore.” It’s part of why I will never think that her alt, who I have all sorts of complicated thoughts about, is “from Seb’s universe.” It just doesn’t fit to me. (I’m also gonna use this as a chance to plug Skates’s DIE TRYING and let’s tear up this rotten world together : two INCREDIBLE fanworks that explore her story from a lot of different angles and get into why the whole relationship between her and Seb and the alted Seb is so complex. Seriously, read these fics.) Oh also: I hate calling her JT.

Song I associate with them; take my playlist and go bro

Favorite picture of them: I’ve been mostly going with arts I have made here just because I don’t wanna repost someone else’s art but the first ever art I did of her when she feedbacked from the Tigers has a big place in my heart.

#blaseball #Jessica Telephone #thank you for sending this!

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catnippackets · 4 years

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have you seen/would u recommend pacific rim 2? ive heard some things about newt and idk lol

I feel like Im in the minority that actually did think pru was fun but that being said it ended SO abruptly and with like three separate plotlines completely abandoned that I was really frustrated for days after watching it until I had processed everything and had time to think deeply about it lol it just seemed rly unfinished?? it feels like it was deliberately made as 1/2 of two sequels and there needs to be one more to tie everything up. actually I’m gonna ramble abt this bc I have a lot of thoughts (obvs spoilers under the cut)

the thing about the second one was that I genuinely was enjoying it right up until it ended because I swear to god the moment the end screen went up I yelled "what the fuck, that's it?" out loud into my bedroom bc I was so SHOCKED that THAT'S how it all ended, because it just seemed so incomplete?? Like it seemed like one half of a story, that will only be made whole if there's a third one to tie up all the plotlines that they didn't go through with in the second and if that's the case then I will be completely fine with it but if it doesn't or if they dont have a third one at all I will stay so frustrated lol. one silver lining to this is that the vibe of this movie was so different from the first that it almost feels easy to separate it and just imagine it as an AU if you prefer which is sort of nice; usually if a piece of media I like does something bad I feel all gutted and anxious and terrible that this is the canon I have to accept, but something abt this movie just made it feel like it was sort of a totally separate deal. maybe cuz only 3 of the original characters were in it idk

to start off: I felt like there were a couple of plotlines in it that were just sort of introduced and then never seen through which was very ????? Amara & Vik's weird hate-rivalry thing was one of them; Vik instantly has it out for Amara bc she’s jealous, which is a very interesting concept, and then this prompts Amara to become hostile right back at her, which is also a very interesting concept, and then it never got resolved at all? like they couldve done something really cool with those two but it just never went anywhere. and then there was sort of a weird love triangle thing happening between Jake and Nate and Jules that felt so weird bc it had no significance to the plot at all and it felt like it was only thrown in there for the sake of having ~romantic drama~ idk maybe I wasnt paying too much attention and there was more to it than that but it really just seemed like they wanted to put romance in there and didnt want to bother to put any work into it

BUT the thing about romantic sub plots is that THERE ALREADY WAAAAS OOOOOOOOONE which brings me to the biggest frustration I have w this movie because--and DISCLAIMER, this was also my favourite plot point of the movie bc it was by far the most interesting, the biggest reason for me enjoying the movie at all, and the bit I feel like should have had WAY more attention--Newt and Hermann were like legitimately in love in this movie I swear to god I was watching it and thinking “this is GENUINELY the most blatantly gay thing I’ve ever seen in a feature film and I know that straight ppl are very talented at writing gay romances completely by accident so it’s possible that they just accidentally did it this way but also it is REALLY goddamn obvious oh my gooood?” (and then I did a lot of frantic googling and found out that I was right and Charlie Day & Burn Gorman knew what the fuck they were doing and I felt so validated lol), and yet despite this, the movie had them speak for the last time almost at the halfway point of the film and then spend the entire second half apart and not talking at all and even at the post-credits scene where Jake and Newt talked for a bit Hermann wasn't there?? not even behind Jake to give Newt any searching glances?? Nothing??

dude...Newt being possessed by the precursors is a HUGELY interesting concept that actually makes sense and I wish it had had more attention. I’ve seen a lot of ppl say that pru butchered Newt’s character and I don’t 100% agree bc like...being possessed will change you lmao so while yes I’m obviously sad that he wasn’t himself, I feel like it made sense that he had a slight personality change, because it...wasn’t him anymore. we don’t really see the Newt we all fell in love with in the first movie. we THINK we’re seeing him, but halfway through we find out we’re wrong.

my critiques with that plotline are basically that I wish the reveal had happened a little bit later on, and I wish that it had been a little more obvious I guess?? like, we definitely get hints of it (when Hermann excitedly asks Newt to help him with a dangerous unorthodox project and Newt says “dude why are you doing something so risky when we’ve already got a good plan in motion? just wait for that to be done, it’s fine” and Hermann IS us, he IS the audience when he reacts, because this is a completely insane thing for Newt to say. Newt, who, in the first movie, was so obsessed with finding knowledge that he went behind the marshall’s back to literally risk his life doing something incredibly dangerous just to see what would happen? being given the opportunity to do the same kind of dangerous frivolous act and refusing? this is blatantly out of character, and Hermann is all of us when he’s shocked, “what, you mean you...won’t help me??” which means it wasn’t bad writing on their part, it was purposefully supposed to stand out as something that was wrong and something that we needed to pay attention to. that was a really good scene to hint that something was Not Right with Newt), and I wish there had been a bunch more like it. I think the reveal should have been saved for the end of the second act; I think that should have been the moment that act 2 of a story usually has, that dreadful event that happens that leaves the main characters feeling completely hopeless and unsure what to do.

I also wish that he had managed to break through more than That One Scene, I think it would’ve been more dramatic if he’d had a few moments where he managed to take control for a second to remind us that he’s still in there and still fighting, and I’m sad they didn’t do that. I saw a fan comic that touched on this idea and I think it’s brilliant, even the idea of him suddenly getting a nosebleed and acting distracted to show that that’s the Real Him trying to fight through would have been sooooooooo good.

I also feel like it didn’t make any sense for Nate to be the one to subdue him in the end, I dont even think those two interact at all so like, why was it him?? it would have been so much more dramatic and heartbreaking if Hermann had been the one to confront him so they could’ve had a little conversation on the roof where Newt could once again break through for a second before getting taken over and then Hermann could like idk have a taser hidden behind him that he uses to subdue him and THAT wouldve been a way sadder and more interesting way to do it. I also think Hermann shouldve been the one to speak to him in the post credits scene, or to have him in the background behind Jake just watching him sadly so we can get a couple shots of intense eye contact like UGH I just wish there had been more interaction between the two of them after the reveal happened!! When the movie was over and I realized they never spoke again I felt so upset!!! they're soulmates!! they're literally in love!! this has been CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and segueing in from the soulmate thing, another thing that made me sad was that nobody came in pairs anymore :( aside from Newt and Hermann, they were the only ones gjdfk but in the first one every character had another character that they were paired up with, both for drifting reasons and just for plot reasons (except Chau and Tendo but I’m pretty sure there's actually significance to that too), and in the second one it just sort of felt like everyone was drifting with each other with no strong connection needed and that made it feel way less special. granted, the movie takes place ten years after the first one so in that time maybe technology advanced to the point where you didn't need a strong neural connection to drift anymore, but for the sake of the story it would have been way better if they'd kept the whole soulmates concept from the first one, it made it way stronger and more special

so yeah in conclusion I did think pru was enjoyable and I probably would watch it again some time but also it definitely pales in comparison to the first one and I’m desperately hoping we get one more so they can tie everything together and FIX THINGS KFGH it’s not too late!!!!! I wish I could write Pacific Rim 3 I genuinely think I would do a good job I love storytelling and I’m very passionate about these characters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#ramblings #Anonymous #ask #this is really long but please interact I've been dying to talk about this for weeks now

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waynedunlaptheorgandonor · 4 years

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can you please give some reasons why you don’t think Caryl is done after this? Don’t see how it can happen now unfortunately.

not to invalidate your feelings, but are we even watching the same show, my dude??

there has never, in ten years, one decade, 87,600 hours, been a more caryl heavy season of twd

i’ve done several in-depth analysis posts, and i gotta get to bed soon, so here are the highlights just to ease your silly lil’ mind (under the cut bc it ended up being a stream-of-conscious novel):

first and foremost, we have a new showrunner, who is a woman, which is always a plus for our female characters bc we have someone who will make sure they’re three-dimensional people, and that was a big problem with caryl for a while. gimple put carol into a “i was abused but i got strong but now i’m sad bc i killed ppl :(((” corner and let her collect dust, and tbf, he also put daryl in the “i was abused but i got strong but now i must wallow in my Man Pain in silence” corner, and then he kind of just forgot about how they had an amazing chemistry and focused more on his three season-long dick jerking contest between Rapey Man #3 and Main Lead Male Grappling With Loss and Morality. so that helps us out a lot!

now in terms of the actual show, i’m just gonna like, list things without giving analysis or clarifying bc i’m tired and have already explained a lot of it, but if you need me to explain again you can just message me and i’ll answer it when i’m awake:

caryl’s storyline has been set up to sail since the start of s9

carol and zeke were always going to breakup, and she only married him for henry and escapism bc she’s never dealt with any of her trauma ever in her entire life and there is a lot of it

the title cards indicated as such

carol’s wardrobe change between the time jump in s9, and between “the calm before” and “the storm” indicated as such

carol’s wardrobe this season also indicates where her mindset is rn

kang is rewriting carol’s storyline, and in effect, rewriting caryl’s storyline, in order to right the wrongs done before, and that’s why it’s taking so long, bc she wants to tell it properly instead of just having them smash in the middle of a field with no build-up

not that we’d be against it, but i personally prefer it this way

carol trusts daryl as a father figure more than zeke. see: her asking him to watch over henry bc zeke is too idealistic, and “so what if i dream about you being my husband and henry’s dad sometimes? shut up”

carol went to visit daryl in the woods to escape her marriage that she didn’t actually want to be in anyway

carol got daryl to stop isolating himself

daryl then proceeded to do all his therapy homework and has settled down and is like “cool, time to finally get with carol!”

except kang is telling carol’s storyline properly

which means that carol is in CrazyTown rn, bc she has 1. been in an abusive marriage 2. seen her daughter walk out of a barn as a walker and then get shot in the head 3. seen a small girl stand over her dead sister while wielding a bloody knife and smiling like a maniac 3b. after having promised her late father she’d protect her 4. had to shoot said maniac girl in the head 4b. after having promised her late father she’d protect her 5. made a connection with a small boy against all efforts to the contrary and then he got eaten 6. finally saved a child and thought she finally broke her curse and got into a rly boring weird fantasy marriage in order to protect him only to see his reanimated head chilling out on a pike among a line of all of her dead friends

AND SHE REALLY NEEDS TO DEAL WITH THOSE THINGS, OK?

so she has #cracked and is spiraling, and daryl’s entire storyline this season has been “shit carol is trying to smuggle guns to rendezvous with the enemy, wait shit lydia is getting beat up let me help her, wait shit carol is kidnapping whisperers and torturing them in the basement, wait shit lydia ran away, wait shit...” etc

SO HE HAS A REASON TO BE KIND OF TIRED RN

but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, it just means that all this tension is leading up to something INTENSE between the two of them. it’s going to come to a head Big Time, and i am v v v hype

anyway back to random things that have been pro-caryl this season

they keep juxtaposing zeke and con with carol and daryl, and caryl pick each other every time

carol’s choice of weapon suddenly being a bow

flower symbolism

boat symbolism

new mexico

acorns and bracelets and their subsequent #meanings

THE FUCKING DREAM WHY ARE WE NOT STILL OBSESSING OVER THAT DREAM THAT DREAM WAS SO IMPORTANT???

she. literally. dreamt. she. was. married. to. daryl. dixon. in. literal. canon. and. stated. it. wasn’t. the. first. time. and. that. she. thinks. the. dreams. are. good. like wtfffff

daryl does not have feelings for con and is very explicit about it

the fact that it keeps coming up is delicious tho

“follow my voice” vs “follow my light”

“i’m the one you talk to”

the repetitive use of we/us

“if i only knew what you told me i wouldn’t know shit”

“i NEED you to stay”

alpha/beta foils and parallels

repetitive reminders of both carol and daryl’s past abuse

did i mention the dream where she dreamt that she was married to daryl bc i feel like that might have been important

carol having sex with zeke

yes that’s a good thing

yes i’m entertained by it and totally chill

we are at the very top of the roller coaster, lads, we are tying up all the strings, we are making sure carol and zeke have closure, we’re gonna get (probably in an irritating murder way) closure with connie, and Then There Were Two

10.14 is called “look at the flowers” for christsake

“i could never hate you” ok fanfic trope number 6 billion

all of it

literally all of it

this has been a crazy romantic, tumultuous season, and some really meticulous and purposeful and beautiful storytelling and it is about to pay tf off

until i am given E X P L I C I T reason not to:

I WILL STAN KANG

and also, just to add, there are characters and plotlines that exist outside of caryl, and the writers have to incorporate all of them. there are gonna be scenes with them, there are gonna be things that happen that seem negative but that make sense when you look at them on a larger scale. you cannot, CANNOT, look at each individual thing and take it at face value. we have a showrunner who knows how to write now, so little things mean bigger things, and not always the things you expect

i know this is not the proper use of bullet points

it is past my bedtime

but anyway caryl is coming ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

stay hype, stan kang, and get daryl to call carol sweetheart 2k20

the end

-diz

p.s. remember that dream? wild huh

#me: not gonna make this a big long thing #narrator: she made it into a big long thing #as is my wont #anyway #caryl #caryl spoilers #caryl positivity #twd s10 spoilers #anon #ask #dunlap tp #Anonymous

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excorcismic · 4 years

Text

you ever have that one muse that’s just like . . . no matter how many characters you play , not matter how much time goes by , you will never get sick of writing that muse & they’re such a huge comfort character and mean the world to you ?? YES , that’s me with miss zelda here . i . . . love zelda ( the character and the series ) with every fiber of my being and after a lot of debate i finally decided i’d bring her here !! i’m doing leon’s intro next and will try to get to replies ( want to get down zel’s intro soon but i’d like to plot things first ) afterwards but pls pls pls here’s a detailed plotting call for my princess !! pls like / react if you’re interested - or let me know if we’re already plotting !!

IN A CANON NUTSHELL : so this zelda is the princess from the masterpiece known as breath of the wild - one hundred years before the events of the game , she was kind of the ‘leader’ of the champions , a group of people who were tasked to aid in protecting hyrule once calamity ganon rose again . link , who was also a champion , was assigned as her personal knight - in the beginning . . . she did not like him for the fact that he seemed to have everything under control and she didn’t . why ?? well , zelda , from birth , was told she had to unlock a power in herself that would potentially save hyrule from the calamity , and for some reason , no matter how hard she tried , she couldn’t do it . and she was mad at herself for feeling like a failure when she was put under an intense amount of pressure from her father & the prophecy - even called the heir to a throne of nothing because of how no results came from her ceaseless prayers . EVENTUALLY , her powers would reveal themselves . . . but only after the calamity arrived , all of the champions had been downed ( save for link , on the verge of death ) , and all seemed lost . but she would use her power to protect hyrule & keep the calamity contained inside hyrule castle until link would awaken and finish him off .

IN AN ALUCARD NUTSHELL : so zelda . daughter of a preacher ( father ) & a lawyer ( mother , now deceased ) , always expected to be the picture perfect child hence why she never got much of a chance to have a break from endless studying & extra things . she’s always been a straight-a student , has done fencing since she was a child , trilingual in english spanish & mandarin chinese , now a star college student majoring in biology ( her own choice , because she loves science ) and minoring in law ( because her father wants her to be a lawyer like her mother & she uhh hates it ! ) she’s seen as ‘little miss perfect’ because she can do so much and never seems to do any wrong but zelda is uhhh sick of that and is actually now trying to rebel against her father and throw herself into trouble . since lowkey all of this shit is killing her and she wants to breathe freely . she’s trying to do what she wants to do hence why she’s majoring in bio instead of law , working at the local florist instead of taking a law internship , actually trying to pursue a social life outside of the people her dad approves of . that stuff . she’s basically a genius who wants to say ‘fuck u’ to the people telling her what to do and go on her own path and i think that’s sexy .

BUT OHHHHHHHHHH YOU WANNA PLOT WITH ZELDA SO BAD OHHHHHHH

so zelda . given her situation ?? there is so much to work with . lemme spout off these ideas bc i’m so fucking excited .

firstly - people who know about her little miss perfect reputation and either dislike her or are intimidated by her for it . zelda isn’t a snob in the slightest but with someone who does as much as she does it’s only natural to assume she is . but she isn’t , i promise ; she hates that being her epithet .

kind of building off the idea of people knowing abt her whole ‘lmp’ thing - i’d love some folks who actually entertain zelda’s desires to break away from that and take her out to do rebellious shit or something like that !! because zelda wants to get the fuck out she hates it here .

some who encourage her and some who do the opposite - ‘you can do it, don’t be scared’ vs. ‘you really don’t belong here so go back to your books and pencils’

maybe ppl who hold zelda to some sort of pedestal bc of her reputation ?? which is equally as bad to her - she’s lowkey crumbling under all these expectations and she’s amazing but to be seen as someone . . . above other people , she doesn’t like that at all .

also those folks who in any grade of school rly have tried to exploit her need to get good grades & genius to their advantage aka if i pair up with the smart kid we’ll get an a guaranteed . can be anywhere - could’ve been in the past or could be now .

CLASSMATES in general . from elementary , middle school , high school for the past , and now college classmates .

study buddies !! study buddies that zelda either vibes with immensely in terms of how she works or butts heads with them . her way of thinking is both incredibly organized but also all over the place . she can be either very easy or difficult to work with .

gimme some school rivals or equals aka ppl that zelda’s on par with in terms of intellect/grades and either they fucking hate each other or make a pretty good team . maybe both ! put the smart ppl in a room together and see what happens .

also want to clarify this can be on both the bio or law side for any of these college-based connections bc zelda is taking both she’s just . way more passionate about biology than she is law .

OLD FENCING TEAMMATES OR RIVALS PLEASE yes she is still fencing to this day and she’s awesome at it . she’s got a shitton of medals and she actually likes it but it’s another thing that was forced upon her since she was young .

her dad is a local preacher so by nature she’s always expected to be at church so ppl who know her as the preacher’s daughter/from church bc imma keep it real zelda ain’t that enthused abt that religion either but again . once again have to fill father’s expectations . one day tho she’s just gonna stop showing up .

i’d like maybe a social circle who zelda’s father approves of ?? like , friends who zelda has but they’re more so just bc that’s what mr. king wanted . i’d also like a partner/ex-partner to fit this description aka zelda’s not rly that into it or was into it bc it was again . kinda just ‘i’m just dating you bc my dad approves of you’ kinda deal and maybe she tried but overall . didn’t/doesn’t work .

i also , though , like the idea of a social circle who zelda’s father would never approve of and she hangs w/ them bc maybe she likes them or maybe she also just wants to prove a point . maybe she dated someone for this reason too - just the whole spectrum of ‘what dad wants vs. what dad wasn’t’ bc pissing off her dad is kind of a major goal at this point .

so maybe regular customers of the flower shop she works at - she just . zelda rly loves flowers & nature ( and again science as a whole , especially life science hence biology ) and she can go off on so many tangent about flowers please talk to her about flowers . maybe even bring her some flowers too jk unless

i’d rly find it awesome if zelda had some ppl who maybe liked her enough to follow her when she goes out just studying things and listen to her bc she loves to talk about her passions - she likes taking hikes and trips out into nature or the botanical gardens and stuff like that to do studies / experiments of her own . she likes museums , gardens , the outdoors - zelda loves knowledge and learning about things and if someone just kept her company while she did so that’d be awesome .

i’m a sucker for canon parallels with non-canon characters so . maybe a relationship that doesn’t rly have any specificity in what portion of zelda’s life ( school , father approved social circle , father disapproved social circle , night life etc etc ) but mirrors her relationship with link in breath of the wild - for whatever reason , zelda and this other character are around each other very frequently and the beginning for some reason she is very put off by it but then comes around and eventually this muse , they become extremely closer with her and important to her . in any way !! idk if it’s platonic or romantic but , in rps like this that’s lowkey my jam but it works the best with miss zelda

AS ALWAYS - friends ! enemies ! former crushes ! exes ! gimme anything and all !! the princess of hyrule is AT YOUR SERVICE and i’m so excited to write her . i love her .

and now . . . onto leon’s intro i hopefully go .

#dhq.plots #░ ★ abt . ❛ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ ᴇᴄʜᴏᴇs ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ʙʀᴇᴀᴛʜᴇ﹐ ·ᴛɪʟ ᴀʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ sᴇᴇ ɪs ᴍʏ ɢʜᴏsᴛ / zelda #parental death mention

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zhuhongs · 4 years

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Here’s my long ass review of TGCF that literally no one asked for it i have opinions and I have no one to tell them too so i must write them out and post them. (also part of this is abt the mdzs novel bc i can’t not compare them and I have a lot of thoughts abt that too)

This is very very long so it’s going under a read more. Spoilers ahead!!

Okay so first off this book was a fucking behemoth i can’t believe i read all of that (minus the extras) in under a week.. what the fuck. I definetly got reading fatigue halfway thru book 3.

I’m gonna separate my thoughts into sections bc i have a few points that don’t all relate

firstly, overall writing and organization:

I said it earlier but tgcf is a lot more structurally sound than mdzs imo. My biggest criticism of the MDZS novel (minus the bad sex scenes, homophobia, and general I hate mxtxness of it) was the way the flashbacks were presented.

Like OH MY GOD they were presented so badly. I hated that the flashback was told intermittently and only when one of the characters invoked the past. For example, when WWX meets Jiang Cheng and a second time, Jin Ling distracts JC to release “Mo Xuanyu” bc he saved his life in the Nie Ancestral hall earlier. WWX then proceeds to be the self sacrificing dude he is and take away Jin Ling’s curse and put it on himself. When he escapes and returns to LWJ, LWJ offers to carry him.

If you watched CQL, you know exactly what LWJ is referring to when he says smth to the effect of “You once offered to carry me too, remember.” HOWEVER in the novel you don’t know what he’s talking about. This is because the flashback wasn’t been revealed to you yet. The next chapter goes to tell the flashback. I think that this takes away all of the emotional depth away from the scene. But in CQL, having the flashback already be known, you make the connection on your own and are like “awww wangji remembers that.. even 16 years later.“ Its a lot sweeter bc you know what the two have gone thru. At this point in the MDZS novel its barely the 30th chapter or so and you have no real idea what wangxian have been thru together or what reasons wangji has for loving wwx. You just think, well obviously they like each other bc this is a danmei novel and they are the two leads, ofc they have to like each other. But in cql, you learn through watching them that they’re in love. It’s not just like”well they have to be!! its a bl!!”

Okay that was a rlly long side tangent but it makes me so angry. So what did any of that have to do with TGCF?? well tgcf doesn’t have this issue. In fact, i believe that it gains a lot from having the flashback withheld from the reader.

I really liked how the flashbacks were contained to books 2 and 4 respectively because it adds a layer of mystery. Hua Cheng is a very secretive man so it makes sense for us to not know everything about him upfront. The way that the author teases and hints little things at you make you want to know more, making it all the more satisfying when the truth is revealed. Because in a way you Know that Hua Cheng meets Xie Lian before and you know that he’s the child XL saved during the God Pleasing Ceremony but you don’t know all the details. Like obviously since Hua Cheng is a ghost you know that he’s died and it was likely for Xie Lian or Xian le’s sake but you probably never expected that he actually died twice. Once on the battle field and second when he took the human face disease. I think the difference between these flashbacks and the flashbacks in MDZS result from the length. In TGCF you get two long concise flashbacks that make sense to be placed where they are. Book 2 because you already have a feel and hint at what the characters have been through and book 4 because the White No Face appears again so then you learn how he and Xie Lian met before. It wouldn’t make sense to place book 2 any earlier bc there is no emotional impact. And it doesn’t make sense to place book 4 earlier because you don’t know what the white no face’s deal is so it’d be confusing. In MDZS, you get numerous short flashbacks happening alongside the main story and it makes it hard to piece together the timeline in a way that feels satisfying. Ik a lot of ppl grill cql for having a confusing intro episode and having a rlly long flashback but its much better than the mdzs novel. However the mdzs donghua handles the flashback in the most concise way imo.

Overall i think the way the story is structured is very good and is a step up from mdzs. Also the horror aspects of tgcf are rlly enjoyable and honestly i think mxtx should just write short horror stories at this point. like enough long ass novels chock full of fetishization. just write some fun horror with no romance and call it a day.. pls

Side Characters:

okay so straight up, i think the side characters arent used as well as they were in mdzs bc mxtx wanted to focus on hualian and didn’t want to give the side characters as much focus. This is a weaker point of the novel.

I’ll get into it more below but i think hua cheng was done dirty as a character by having him rlly only care abt xie lian. Since he doesn;t have any real relationships with others outside of xie lian this takes away from having more depth in the side characters. They’re really only related as far as xie lian’s relationship with them. Though thankfully xie lian gets rather close with a few officials and the ones we get to see more of are rlly interesting. I especially loved the reconciliation of mu qing, feng xin, and xie lian at the end of book 5. honestly their relationship was one my favorites and i’m glad they finally said what they had to say to each other after 800 fucking years. Also Shi Qingxuan is a delight. we stan sqx in this house.

The characters i wish we had seen more of were yushi huang (although she didnt rlly want to be there, good for her), Quan Yizhen and Yin Yu. I very much wish yizhen and yin yus story happened earlier on and we had more time with them. It felt strange to have their subplot occur towards the end and it was sort of out of place but i liked them a lot!! i wish there was more to it. and that there was a reconcilation but mxtx hates happy shidi’s doesnt she, (glares at novel jc). Also man yin yu did NOT have to die like that i’m sad.

Also, honestly.. i don’t think qi rong added to the story whatsoever and i have no clue why he and guzi were there. qi rong just pissed me off the whole time and added literally nothing.

going back to yushi huang, i’d like to say for the millionth time that i hate how mxtx uses any of her female characters. like we get it.. u hate women being useful... im still pressed but what i want to say has been said many times before so ill leave it at that.

Hualian:

I really really did like hualian at the end. They had a truly epic love story and it was so beautiful, especially when hua cheng repeated his words as wuming to xie lian as he started to disappear. But, I said it once and i’ll say it again. I don’t think Hualian is a super healthy relationship. As fiction its fine (i firmly believe fiction impacts reality but let me finish), i guess bc literally nothing about their situation can be replicated irl and none of it ended up containing manipulation or abuse or anything bad but there was a potential for it to and i’m really glad it didnt go that route.

Hualian is a highly idealized and romanticized relationship full of some truly troubling feelings of self worth. While its “beautiful” in a way that hc really was xls most devoted believer, it wasnt healthy for him to live for xl like this. Nor was it healthy for xl to feel so unworthy of hua chengs love.

Hua Cheng’s devotion to Xie Lian is a little too extreme and it bothers me. When the truth was revealed abt the Temple of 10,000 Gods I had the same reaction as Mu Qing and Feng Xin. I was like... HEY WHAT THE FUCKK that’s a little uh... thats NOT HEALTHY,, dianxia PLEASE say smth. But ofc Xie Lian didn’t say fucking anything and and i was so pissed. Like the whole thing of Hua Cheng living his life solely for XIe Lian is really kinda fucked up and not romantic. I was holding out hope that at some point XIe Lian would sit him down and be like “Hey! I love you and i’m really grateful that all these years you’ve still believed in me when no one else did. But you can’t just live your life for my sake. You deserve love from many other other people and deserve to have a life and happiness outside of me. I still want to spend the rest of my life with you, but you need to not only think of me.” or something to that effect

It bothers me that after Xie Lian learns the truth he doesn’t once reassure Hua Cheng that he didn’t have to make Xie Lian his reason for existence. Like.. idk i just think that’s rlly kinda unhealthy. Like I understand why Hua Cheng is so deeply devoted to Xie Lian-- he saved his life twice and was the only one to ever show him kindness and he’s seen xie lian suffer a fate worse than death multiple times. I get that he wants to protect him and make his life easier, but to not let anyone else into his life and spend 800 years looking for xie lian is just overkill. Like if the whole 10k statues thing never happened i’d be 100 percent fine with hualin but the whole devotion to that extent... uhhh yea.. no that put a bad taste in my mouth. Obsession should not be romanticised. I don’t think any reader of tgcf is going out and deciding to live like hua cheng obviously but still.

Also Side note, the whole 100 swords scene.. bro i felt for hua cheng, the way he screamed seeing that, i don’t blame him. I was so horrified reading that chapter. i don’t think i’ve been so horrified by a piece of media like that in a while. Poor fucking xie lian.. oh my god. I understand the intense reaction he had and how seeing that prompted such a degree of loyalty but still.. 10k statues?? the cave that mu qing and feng xin saw... thats a little too much obssession... like please.. dial it back.. im begging u.

I was talking to mary (liviahyes) and she said smth abt how Hua Cheng doesn’t have a character outside of xie lian. And she’s right, he kinda doesn’t. If Xie Lian didn’t exist neither would Hua Cheng. I get that that counds kinda romantic but in practice i don’t think its a good things. Especially because Xie Lian has a story outside of Hua Cheng, hehas goals, he has friends, he has something. Hua Cheng said it-- his only dream is Xie Lian. Which is romantic but very very unbalanced.

THAT BEING SAID, i still rly liked their relationship and i think theyre cute they just have issues they need to work through. I mean they have time but yea. It wasn’t perfect but eh. overall i’m bitter bc they couldve been THAT COUPLE but theyre so many bad implications as mentioned above and i.. smh. They still have amazing moments. Like the lantern scene, the alter scene, the “what matters is you, not the state of you”, the end when hua cheng helps release the shackles on xie lian, the scene where hua cheng disappears, the way xie lian waited for him, like they were so close to being THAT COUPLE but then mxtx and her fujo ass just had to make it uncomfortable like that. i’m so bitter. Like the reason why i wrote out all of this is bc this novel could’ve been great but so many little things added up and made the experience far more sour than it shouldve been.

MXTX did hua cheng SO DIRTY by not giving him a character much outside of loving xie lian and being good at everything. Like when I first learned abt how Hua Cheng beat 33 heavenly officials at what they excel in best i was like WHO IS THIS LEGEND but honestly.. he rlly doesn’t have any motivations outside of helping xie lian and I wish he had more to him . Like if we had more situations like the one where hua cheng dug out his own eye to save the group of mortals on mount tong’lu then he’d have been a much more well rounded character. Honestly, that’s rlly the only instance where he seems to have taken xie lians ideals to heart. I wish we had more of that bc that scene was so cool. i wish it hadn’t been revealled so late and there was more than one occasion where he defends others (minus xie lian ofc) without anything for himself to gain that.

To contrast hualian with wangxian, i think wangxian work so well bc at their core, they have the same life goals and same ideas about people and the world. Where in hualian, xie lian has core principles and morals and hua cheng is just like, anything for xie lian. SMH they couldve been great but overall i think hualian falls flat for me because of my own fear of dating someone who doesn’t have a life outside of dating me. Moreso, my parents had this sort of unbalanced relationship towards the end of their marriage and it ended very badly and yea, i just can’t whole heartedly love relationships that in any way resemble this, even if it ends differently. that’s a personal thing tho.

I don’t think Hua Cheng has ANY bad intentions towards Xie Lian or ever will. I don’t think he’s ever manipulated xl or tried to force him to love him. But again, it’s my own personal feelings that makes me feel kinda.. ehh conflicted abt hualian. There was potential but again.. fujoshis ruin everything... smh. Overall i think the way it ended redeemed the issues it had but still there were issues and i really wish xie lian like,, reassured hua cheng about living his life freely at some point but whatever.

IN CONCLUSION

TGCF had the potential to be better than mdzs, it rlly did but it was bogged down by the authors own toxic mentalities abt love, and mlm relationships, and treating women like ppl and it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I enjoyed this book, truly i did (otherwise i wouldn’t have stuck through and read 750k words of it) but there are some flaws that cannot be glossed over. I hope that tgcf when it does get adapted, goes through the same miracle that cql did and makes the characters more like ppl and less like tropes but i doubt it. Also i highly doubt that a live action tgcf is feasible given the supernatural aspects of the series but we shall see. I’m excited for the donghua when it eventual comes out but i will continue to be critical of the novel bc..well.. you see why. idk if i’d reccommend this book tbh bc like yes i would, no i would... well.. </3. yea. overall, it sure was something that i enjoyed in spades. especially the last 5 chapters. I generally liked it but had many issues with it at the same time, but honestly, yea thats the standard fair for a mxtx novel.

#text heavy #'like rlly fucking text heavy #tgcf #tgcf lb #and with that... the lb is over #i dont think i'll read the extra but who knows #also i reread this twice looking for missing words and typos so i HOPE its coherant #anyways if u read this.. bless u and feel free to ask me anything abt what i've said #i legit just finished it and i havent thought back on everything so im v willing to hear different standpoints

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goldvnby · 4 years

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EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK !! i’m literally soo excited rn can’t even use my words lol ! charles aka edward was the first skeleton i clicked on and i instantly knew i had to play him ( i love an asshole heheheheh ) ! anyway i’m madi i’m nineteen and i go by she/her !!

quick note: bc i’m using charles melton as a fc i changed his name from charles to edward ! just incase anyone is confused ! :-)

( charles melton, cismale, he/him ). hey, isn’t that [ EDWARD CHARLES SEONG ] walking down bennington street? i think the [ 28 ] YEAR OLD [ INVESTMENT BANKER ] is from [ WAITSFIELD, VERMONT ]. i’ve heard some rumors down at ginger’s, saying that they’re [ OBSTINATE & EGOCENTRIC ], but then again they’re known to be [ ASTUTE & MAGNETIC ]. either way, they seem to be interesting, hope they’ll stick around

so for this post i’m going to condense things into bullet points but if you would like to read the full bio you can find that here ! also if for some reason you want even more to look at i have a pinterest, playlist, and his stats u can peak at !

no thoughts head empty

uGH okay fine.

edward comes from an affluent family located in waitsfield, vermont. his father worked as an investment banker and although his mother didn’t necessarily have a “job” she was highly involved in the community. they were the type of people to flaunt their wealth, and they generally had a reputation in the town as being snooty and proud.

his childhood was cold. his parents spared no time or affection for the young boy, and due to his family’s negative reputation his social circle was relatively small. he did have the boisterous streak running through him from the start but he didn’t really become the social butterfly eddie we know and love until he went away to boarding school.

his parents went thru a messy messy divorce when he was a teen due to his fathers infidelity and most of his commitment issues stem from them oop.

his parents also put a Lot of pressure on him to be perfect.

at private school surrounded by nothing but other privileged rich kids he quickly discovered that being overly confident and obnoxious could actually get him all of the attention he craved in his childhood, and that’s when party boy edward was born. the schools didn’t like it though and he bounced from private school to private school across the eastern seaboard.

despite his antics he charmed most of his professors and did really well academically

after spending a gap year in europe he moved to new york city to study at columbia which is when he became suuuuper motivated. he wanted to be a nyc finance bro so bad and so he followed in his dads footsteps and studied finance.

he took all of his partying and shoved it into short but intense weekends, which rly just made it worse.

just before he graduated and entered the business world™ his father became the centre of a serious fraud case. it destroyed edward’s credibility and it took him years and a lot of work to get his career back on track ( he’s makin Coin now tho bbs don’t worry ). his dad is in prison but like,, don’t bring it up w edward hehe he’s sensitive abt it.

edward is very self destructive. the issues he has forming emotional connections and caring abt ppl paired with the massive pressure he puts on himself cause him to have a general disregard for his own life, and it shows.

he desperately craves attention and admiration and uses partying as a way to get it. partying is also pretty much his only copping mechanism, and its not a healthy one. he in a v bad cycle of his high stress work week and wild weekends.

( alcohol/smoking/drugs tw ) he is a heavy heavy drinker and also frequent user of party drugs ( coke and molly in particular ). he also was a smoker but recently quit when he started dating raph. ocassionally he’ll slip up and have a cig though. he’s also trying to party less now but with it being his only outlet for stress he def struggles with that.

bb has a looooooooooong kill list oops

v much a coffee addict, especially when he’s hungover, he has work to do after all.

can be v abrasive and argumentative, he’s v hard to get along w especially if you don’t know him well. loves a good debate hehe.

is actually a super loyal friend if he actually feels secure in the friendship, he just has a hard time trusting that ppl actually care abt him. will stick up for his friends sooo much. also just wants to make everyone have a good time. can be insensitive to ppls feelings though bc he always thinks he knows best.

his biggest fear is becoming his father. that’s why he doesn’t do monogamous relationships bc it’s better to not try at all than to try and fail.

he’s a vvvvvv lonely person, even when surrounded by friends : (

wears a lot of suits. if he isn’t wearing a suit he’s wearing boat shoes, khakis, and a pastel button up bc he’s a preppy ass pos

i hate him sm

he’s so cocky ew

likes picking up the tab for his friends bc he knows he’s a lil rich bitch who can afford it hehe.

almost exclusively eats take out, does not know how to cook for himself. yet is still somehow in perfect shape ????

has really bad insomnia. will often be up all night and just distracting himself with whatever work he can find.

literally work hard play hard that’s him.

reads the newspaper every morning, esp the finance section obvi

drives a vintage mercedes convertible that Guzzles gas. he loves it but doesn’t get to drive it enough bc theres no point w city traffic. loves getting the chance to drive out of the city, he speeds v bad tho.

#only ten years later #laughtrackintro

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karliahs · 4 years

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fic notes: swim or drown

another thing where i ramble about a fic i did! think i’m gonna go reverse-chronological with these

the research nedzu is talking about here wrt people changing their own minds for the most part is real! as in it’s real studies i read multiple years ago for a philosophy of psychology course and barely remember. still, it obviously stuck with me in some way - love anything about how far from the idea of Rational Beings ppl are deep down

there’s a very funny bookmarker’s comment on this one that just says “i don’t think it is finished” and i will take that drag, but also it reminded me that like…this fic starts establishing that ppl are trying to tell aizawa he can’t keep going like this but there’s not that much they can rly do for him unless he admits that. and it ends when he…admits that

this one follows a similar-ish thread to one of my first bnha fics, swan dive, in that it’s characters laying out the rational reasons for and against self-destruction. that theme is one of my fave things about bnha so i guess it’s understandable that i keep coming back to it. i’ve now had both midoriya and aizawa try and make a case for why it’s logically fine to throw their lives away in service of others (midoriya with aizawa arguing against him. bc he’s a hypocrite). i just really like thinking about...hm, the intersection of logic and core beliefs. specifically core beliefs about your own lack of worth. i feel like even for people who see themselves as very rational, when it comes to self-loathing, the deeper you go trying to justify your behaviours and justify the justifications, eventually you get to something that can’t really be expressed or understood logically. it just is. i guess what i’m trying to write about is this spiral down through reasons into that place beyond reasons, where it’s just you and this strange nugget of Belief that runs so much of your life

it is very important to me that even when i’m writing someone being challenged about their self-destructive behaviour, there needs to still be some element of kindness. like i remember editing swan dive a little because it was veering too much into scolding midoriya for having self-destructive thoughts, which is the last thing you need when you’re in that place. tried to have nedzu be a little nice here. like hizashi says later, they’re saying this stuff because they love him and he’s worth saving

interpreting aizawa as kind of pessimistic and disillusioned, even about heroics/the way hero society is structured, is always fun, especially in comparison to the series’ usual hero-worshipping narrator

bc of that interpretation, aizawa is the character i project most of my feelings that come from my job onto. it’s just medical admin, but the department/specialty means i come across a lot of sad stories that make you intensely aware of how fragile life is and how fast things fall apart. weird to think how different my writing would probably be without those experiences

have i mentioned lately that i hate plot? i don’t like having to make things happen. hello one paragraph roof-fight villain, you are a plot device because i’m fucking sleepy and i need to throw aizawa off a roof

despite watching a show about hero students in a hero school, i don’t understand what they even do in class, so here is first aid because i do know about that and also heroes are at least ¼ first responders. i also just had to make the point here that CPR is extremely hard and strenuous to do.

studies suggest i will never get tired of writing about how everything you do in a body has consequences.

i love 1-A as just always-dialed-up-to-11 weirdos even when they’re doing normal domestic stuff. there’s 20 of them, they’re full of determination and their school motto is essentially “no, do that but EVEN MORE.” when they stress cook, they go hard

hizashi’s voice was harder for me to find this time but i love writing his space so much. he used to smoke and now he has an ashtray full of rings. he loved mood rings as a Youth bc of course he did. i could spend all day writing about this stuff. i might do...drabbles? about the 1-A kids’ dorm rooms at some point? just love to write rooms

it’s always....hard....to write someone behaving not super well because they’re going through a very, very hard time. especially as aizawa kind of...knows he’s being unfair, knows he’s lashing out, and that just adds fuel to the fire (bc the problem is self-loathing)

i also think too much about Performing Yourself literally every time i write hizashi

i feel like when i first got into bnha i was very into erasermic as quietly, happily married by the time canon rolls around, and now i still dig that but i’m also very into erasermic who have been some level of In Love for years, but also they’re changing and life is so hard and the idea of risking losing each other as friends by changing the status quo is petrifying, and they still love each other but also every time they hang out now and it’s good there’s a voice in the back of one of their heads going “huh, it’s been a long time since we connected like this, how did we let it slip so much.” just extremely specific, adult life and neuroses and past trauma keeping you juuuuust too far from someone you love so much

#fic notes #swim or drown

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pynkhues · 5 years

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Hey so like can we talk about the fact that Rio obviously wanted very badly to do more than touch Beth's face in the last scene in 2.02 (whether he wanted to hug her or kiss her) but that he knows he has to let her make the first move or he'll scare her off? Which fits perfectly w/ your theory that in the bedroom scene she kisses him first, gently, then he just dives in (the look on his face when she's an inch away is one of uncertainty/disbelief like he's gotta make sure this is rly happening)

I kind of think that that’s mostly just the energy that Manny/Rio is constantly putting out to Beth at this point, haha. It’s such a charged connection, both narratively and in the physicality of what Manny and Christina put out - that chemistry is tangible in a way that I don’t think I’ve seen on TV in a really long time.

In that last scene of 2x02, the power imbalance is way too stark for him to have acted in any way more intimate than he did though. I have quite a lot of thoughts on the face touching which I’m going to talk about another time, but the two times he’s done it so far both seem to be about treating her softly and making her feel safe. He obviously did it in a very calculated and, lbr, cruel way in 2x01, but I think the intent here at the end of 2x02 was a lot purer. He wanted her to feel safe with him. He wanted her to see him treat her softly, because, at the end of it all, that’s what he was going to do.

I’m so, so excited to see how the writers develop that. They’ve always been really conscious about articulating toxic relationships, I think - I mean, look at how they’ve handled Boomer and Mary-Pat. They could’ve just left it as what it was - Mary-Pat was a bad person who made bad choices and now has made her bed and has to lie in it - but they’ve been very careful about being clear that nobody deserves Boomer. Rio and Beth are obviously intensely different to those two, but they’re still a careful line to walk. He’s threatened her multiple times, held guns to her head, shot her husband, tormented her.

That’s why I really appreciate the fact that they’re not letting him off the hook with the prison time - a punishment Beth inflicted on him for a change. It doesn’t exactly balance them, but it gives her a lot more power than she’s had, and I think through them connecting and him teaching her, we’re going to keep seeing them on more level footing - he’s going to come down a few levels, and she’s going to rise a few to meet him there, and it’s got to be in that sweet spot that they pursue the, ahem, more physical parts of that connection.

#beth x rio #nbc good girls #welcome to my ama #beth boland #rio #touches #interior lives #mary pat #power plays #lesley peterson #that chemistry

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amosbarot · 5 years

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( cismale ) haven’t seen AMOS BAROT around in a while. the DEV PATEL lookalike has been known to be (+) INSOUCIANT & (+) KEEN, but HE can also be (-) TROUBLED & (-) DERISIVE. The 24 year old is a SENIOR majoring in COMPUTER ENGINEERING. I believe they’re living in AUDAX but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door. ( james. 20. EST. she/they. )

hello !! here is my other baby, who is...somehow, more of a mess than naeva !! no dilly dally, let’s jump right into it !!

TW: drug addiction/abuse, car accident. mental illness.

a e s t h e t i c s ( except i am a sham of a person and sorta very much forgot to save my aesthetics so ! winging it ! )

floral suits and a light air of mock-arrogance, charming smiles and a mischievous glint, easy sarcasm and raised eyebrows. rolling joints resembling cigars, smoke drifting towards ceilings as conspiratorial rambles escape intoxicated lips, wild gestures and toppled book stacks, four expresso shots at the stroke of midnight and equations leading off whiteboards. heavy eye bags and warm smiles, dismissive words and excuses. sleepwalking to the middle of the quad for the third time that week, donning white boxers littered with red hearts...again. secret glances and barely contained excitement, distractions from the obvious.

general info !!

full name: amos ronak barot

nickname(s): n/a !!

b.o.d. - january 17th, 24 yrs old, capricorn

label(s): the academic, the ebullient, the fallen, the icarcian.

height: 6′2″

hometown: london, uk ooo fancy

sexuality: wildly. chaotically. bisexual.

his stats can be found HERE

and his pinterest can be found HERE !

biography

introducing...another one of indira’s cousins !!!!

born to olena barot, member of the american embassy in london/future U.S. ambassador to the UK and ronak barot, CEO of his very own computer company. needless to say, he and his younger sister alya were born into a certain wealth

they hopped between the US and the UK and wherever else they desired to go on vacation to with ease; UK for school and US for breaks, rome or paris or wherever else, simply whenever.

despite this though !! olena and ronak had always wanted their children to find their own success, to be financially stable without their assistance once they got older. therefore, it was a known fact in their household that they’d be cut off financially by the time they were 21.

luckily, neither of them really minded this? both children had always had an extreme thirst for knowledge and a wonder for things. even so--their childhood wasn’t quite typical, as their competitive natures led to them trying to one-up each other?

alya and amos grew up extremely close to each other, being so close in age it really didn’t feel as if she was the younger sibling; they were more like twins than anything. obviously, amos still gloated about being the eldest, but their bond was tight.

there were moments in their childhood where if anybody, and i mean anybody--spoke ill of alya, amos would get into physical alterations. he’s much more peaceful now, but the history is still there.

by the time amos entered sixth form, his studies were--while still very important to him--less frequent. he’d go out nearly every night, gone whole weekends, partying or being a general hooligan.

alya, however, did not partake in these activities. this is where they differed--amos had always been an extrovert, fond of crowds and people and being in the center of it all. causing ruckus. wrecking havoc. alya’s always been...reserved, in the best way possible. few knew just what a gem she was, but she really was to be treasured. even so--the less time amos seemed to spend at home, the more distant alya became towards him.

but, surprise: despite being literally, incredibly smart, amos got BIG DUMBASS ENERGY and was very very oblivious to the why and how of this. which really, really did not help.

unfortunately, there wasn’t any time to dwell about this.

around the same time, tragedy struck the barot family.

after one of his lil’ runabouts, amos came home to find furniture being escorted out of their house, police--his sister crying, his mother ashamed, his father nowhere to be found.

and soon after, amos found out that his father was arrested for a scandal that sent many into a tizzy. essentially: the company fucked over their own customers via stealing their info, committing some fraud, y’know, credit cards and social security numbers, sellin’ it. just. some nasty white collar crime.

it also wound up fucking up olena’s newly acquired position as the US ambassador for the UK. she was released from the embassy during ronak’s trials.

he ultimately wound up in prison, and olena moved their family back to the U.S.

and amos--being the big dumb baby he is, figured the best thing to do was to pretend it hadn’t bothered him one bit! so he did exactly that!

i imagine that they moved close to indira’s family, and amos spent a lot of time with her from there then.

however, in between pretending things were fine and dandy, and home life, and the drag and pull of parties, anxiety weighed down amos’ bones like...constantly. his family was now, essentially, poor with a mass debt thanks to their father. the expectations for amos to do good, to be better--the fall of amos’ biggest role model.

it was all too much. anxiety attacks became frequent, provoked by the slightest thing--he could only lay awake at night, sleep infrequent. he was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and insomnia, and treated for both--some days it still doesn’t feel like enough.

getting a scholarship to lockwood is probably the best thing to happen to him in a long time. it was a new look into a potential future.

got into the uh...career, of sorts, of doing people’s assignments for them for a hefty payment, alongside his normal job. just to make sure he had spending money and whatnot.

involving tatiana: their friendship bloomed after he did a few assignments for her, y’see--then came the midnight adventures, and whatnot. i wouldn’t have called them close by any means, but they had fun together when they weren’t arguing. their friendship ended after a pretty bad car accident--neither were fatally hurt, but the car was wrecked and it was amos’ fault and it just. sorta was the end of that.

he’s got a...reliability on his sleeping pills, if you will. it’s not healthy in the slightest, but he’s convinced it’s nothing serious. it’s pretty serious.

his eyesight is also getting worse--expected to become legally blind by the time he’s forty.

more on those l8r

personality

there’s a lot of words you can use to describe amos! pretentious, sarcastic, provoking, hardly ever serious, immature, petty, Just Like That, full of himself, smartass, big dumbass energy. y’know. just an infinite amount.

he can be so dramatic! everything he does is exaggerated. he rolls cigar-sized joints at every party. goes around with a horrible ‘20s mobster voice, voicing his lil’ conspiracies.

it’s both hard and very easy to forget that amos graduated as valedictorian of his high school (stealing it, from somebody else--i should mention, as he came in halfway thru the year and kinda just. snatched the title.) because he can be a real idiot sometimes.

because he tries to hard to mask his insecurities, he overcompensates with just. being childish. he’s fun to be around but sometimes he can just be. exhausting.

so like, he went into computer engineering because that was just sorta what he always wanted to do? besides programming? he really wanted to take after his father--but with him being in jail and whatnot, kinda puts a damper to that dream. still, he can’t stop.

so he’s just. really good with computers tbh?? built his own, programmed his own firewall. his dream is to open his own cybersecurity company.

VERY STRESSED LIKE CONSTANTLY like catch him in the library with six empty coffee cups surrounding his work, it’s 2am--he hasn’t slept, in fact his eyes are likely taped opened. he works a lot.

but parties...a lot more! he tries rly hard to not mix his medication with anything so that leads to him...not always taking it, or overcompensating when he misses. it’s a mess. he’s a mess. he thinks he knows what he’s doing but he’s NOT.

i think...i’d consider him lovable. he’s a lil eccentric, a lil high energy.

LOVES HIS FAMILY. like, listen. he still loves his dad. would protect his cousins and sister and mother with his mf life.

alya and him aren’t on the...best terms rn. so that Hurts.

he can be really petty tbh ?? like he can’t take arguments seriously so he just becomes this fucking manchild. he will mimic u. he’ll mock u. he can be hurtful.

god...i don’t even know what else to say. just take him TAKE HIM

wanted connections

as always, i am a big slut for every connection.

give him his Lads. his buds. his pals. his broskis. his bromances.

ride or die(s)

people he tutors !! people whose work he does for them !!

somebody who goes to him b/c of computer troubles n he’s just like...r u going to pay me or nah

high school friends??

party pals??

his sister may become a WC in the future but idk quite yet, we do stan her though !!

drug dealer pls n thank

ex friends ?? fake friends ?? toxic friends ??

bad influences ?? good influences ??

hook ups ?? like a lot of ‘em ??

confidante ?? just somebody he can. rant to.

academic rival just b/c i really love intense study-offs

enemies for whatever reason ??

exes ??

particularly this one ex he was really, really in love w/ but life just got really stressful and idk it affected their relationship and they sorta just. ended it. idk who ended it w/ who but it probably wasn’t mutual and he’s probably really still hung up about it.

i mean i’ll take...anything...did they run into each other once and now just see each other everywhere??

unrequited things??

really cute close friendships??

#water:intro #hi it takes me fifty years to do things but i DID IT

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koolkvat-blog · 5 years

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hello loves , what’s up ! i’m super excited to be here & to finally play my precious girl , jade aka kool kat . i’m LOLA , use she / her prounouns , i am NINETEEN , & i am currently in the gmt + 1 timezone which means yes , my ass should’ve been awake for intro posting but i don’t know what time management is and ended up swamped w/ work , so ! everything you need to know about about miss kat is under the cut , & i’m rlly thrilled to be apart of such a wonderful rp with such gorgeous muses . corniness over –– if you’re looking to plot sumn out , just hit that ♥︎ & i’ll make my way on over to ur dms , or feel free to add me up on discord which i’ll give in im’s if anybody’s interested ! ♡♡♡ tw : family issues , body image issues & drug mention ( not explicit ) .

001 . SYNOPSIS . FULL NAME . jade kikuchi . NICKNAMES . kool kat . AGE . twenty - one . DATE OF BIRTH . twenty - seventh of september , 1993 / libra . PLACE OF BIRTH . harajuku , tokyo , japan . GENDER . cisgender female . SEXUALITY . ( closeted ) pansexual . NATIONALITY . japanese , now american too after successfully gaining citizenship . ETHNICITY . asian . OCCUPATION . fashion designer at katz designz , former fashion design and journalist student back in her original timeline . PLAYLIST . here ! ( + ) charismatic , enthusiastic , warm , energetic , adventurous , compassionate , animated . ( - ) deceptive , independent , emotional , territorial , ambitious , impulsive , temperamental , insecure , sarcastic .

002 . AESTHETIC . wheatgrass smoothies , 90′s anime with subtitles , chanel no. 5, speeding on a desert road with the windows down , painting your toenails on the dashboard , neon prints , cat lazing on a balcony in the sun , black lace , japanese horror films , sour cocktails with sugar around the rim , half - smoked cigarettes , stacks of fashion magazines , long hair hastily dyed different colours in a motel bathroom , thrift stores .

003. INFORMATION .

tl;dr : a flighty, inattentive adventurer: a follower of whims; personable and sociable but lacks the skills to maintain relationships because she’s entirely (and perhaps too) career focused, checks her horoscope daily and entirely relies on the stars when concerning relationships, epitome of a britney spears / gwen stefani stan back in the 2000′s, still owns a (bedazzled) flip phone, collector of vintage fashion (chanel, elle, juicy couture etc.) a subscriber to the Leonardo Da Vinci sleeping method; catch her at 2 am making soufflés or buying plane tickets to shiwei so she can really experience the culture: will tell you she loves you ten minutes after first introduction because she’s high: kind of unintentionally insensitive to those she doesn’t know and closed off but in like a cool, lovable way.

• heads up im running on like 5 hrs sleep so sry when this inevitably derails ! ok sweet let’s get into this .

• so as aforementioned this is jade kukichi, aka, kool kat. she was dubbed that by her friends due to her unique fashion style and sense of dress, and it’s stuck. lbr nobody other than her friends can use that term so if you do, she’s just going to stare at u for a quick sec before saying ‘it’s jade’.

• born in harajuku, tokyo to a cardiothoracic surgeon of a father and a politician of a mother, jade grew up traveling the world and becoming flighty af, never thinking she was going to make long - term friends and kinda being okay with that.

• her family has never stayed in one place for very long, though her aging parents eventually settled into a permanent residence in the us around the time she turned sixteen, not soon enough for jade to break the habit of wandering, but thankfully quick enough for her to meet the bratz girls who were just as adventurous and fun - loving as she. she's spent much of her teen life jumping from place to place wherever her interests are that moment, collecting people along the way, but to find friends was the only thing she was missing. jade has a brilliant mind, but she lacks patience and follow through. she needs guidance or she'll jump from idea to idea, job to job, whim to whim.

• ngl, jade pretty much hated her home life. her parents were an overbearing presence in her life, her mother wanting jade to be a proper lady who also went into a profession like theirs (entirely serious and stifling when it came to creativity, doctor, politician, lawyer etc.) while jade herself wanted to check out the latest trends and go to the mall w her friends – so she turned all of her focus and energy into getting good grades in everything she wanted to do in the hopes that she could be the most successful fashion designer, then leaving town forever.

• like she spent 7 yrs in high school graduating w honours but she barely knew what was happening in 9/10 of her classes and sometimes she just slept through classes and then wing her exams which she miraculously did well at. it was just not a good idea to send jade to a public school at 11 after being in boarding school for the rest of her life and then never really enforce any rules :~\ she has trouble with that kind of thing.. as in making logical choices instead of saying "YEAH lets go watch american psycho and smoke weed!" skipping chemistry to do just that

• she loves fun and values doing what makes her happy over most things. it's hard to pin her down and she spends most of her life chasing after ideas that don't really follow any sort of conscious order, bc she’s really got that ‘i’ve got dreams and i’m gonna do everything in my power to achieve them’ personality.

• according to bratz canon she’s worked as literally everything ? she’s one of those insufferable people who r just. good everything ig and that’s just how it is on this bitch of an earth. jade’s been a photographer, a song - writer and bass player in a rock band (shout out to bratz rock angelz the best movie w the best soundtrack ever), a student studying fashion design, a fashion columnist, a quickly fired nanny, and many other things in between.

• so when she appears in toonsville she’s kind of out of it that she’s not doing something w her skills and sets up her own business which she loves ? being her own boss suits her fine (for now) because she’s got a Real Job and she's actually trying rly hard so she can fulfill her dreams !! like suck it mom nd dad haha !!!

• jade has a lot of weird feelings TM about her body and her looks and struggles a lot with her self confidence :~( she had a shit time at school with boys saying she was too thin and she compensated by acting like she didn't like anyone at all for a while and now she thinks she isn't good enough for anyone when rly she is a cinnamon bun too good for this world too pure

• best friend ever she is so good at being a friend if u text her at 3am to go out or cry on her shoulder shes ready to go at 3:15 even if she was sleeping w lots of snacks and treats and love!!! she is sooo extroverted around those she’s comfortable w, she gains so much energy from being around people and she loves being nice and being around ppl she likes

• she becomes the mom of groups pretty easily (hence why she’s the leader of the bratz) bc she bottles up most of her own problems to help ppl with theirs!! which is toxic yea but she puts people first always so !! plz help her poor repressed soul!! rip kool kat..

• still super into the stuff of her time so like.. she loves the x files and bad reality tv shows (i want to be a hilton) and reads gossip magazines on the reg because she enjoys that stuff! also very into girl groups.. ginger spice / posh spice is an eternal mood.

• anyway yes sweet adult-child of 21 (she is in denial about that tho like she doesn't want to be childish) who is v nice v kind v loyal v baked a lot of time, v passionate v silly. idk what i'm doin hope u like it < 3

004. WANTED CONNECTIONS .

friends / best friends / ride or dies . jade genuinely loves people, loves talking to strangers and getting into intense conversations with people she’s only just met, learning other people’s way of life and bettering herself for getting. she is, however, incredibly blunt and has never once minced words to keep from hurting someone’s feelings or to ease them into a situation. she’d much rather have a one-time conversation with a stranger than make long lasting relationships. she has three very close friends – to the point of co - dependence – and honestly, she’d rather spend all of her time doing things she loves such as her hobbies, sticking her nose into the latest vogue, or searching for cute collars and treats for her cat mica w them instead of making new friends. she's also FUN and she'd be happy to go on crazy road trips or buy out a movie theater for a day or anything that she thinks will her buds happy. she's traveled all over, so she’s v well read and cultured. she loves people but she hates complication and won't deal with any sort of emotional labor. she wants to live in the moment and expects everyone in her life to do so as well. just be chill, y'all.

frenemies / enemies / rivals . please be her enemy, she needs people to antagonize shdhshd. she grew up pretty much affluent so she’s pretty spoiled even if she doesn’t want to admit it, and that rebellious side of her hasn’t died down yet. despite the fact that she is wealthy and in good community standing, she has a hard time letting go of childish grudges. in general she’s got a lot of suppressed feelings and ready to fight everyone who hurts her friends – like an irritated cat – so, honestly, come at her ? she is sometimes a little fickle and flighty and a unintentionally stuck up when it comes to art / fashion and she has definitely said the wrong thing at the wrong time and pissed the wrong people off, she can’t stand anyone underestimating her or thinking she’s dumb bc she’s interested in fashion. like gtfo !

ex’s , fwb’s , possible love interests . jade is fairly fluid romantically and is the type of person who hates labels but also just wants to be cherished and called cute pet names lowkey. she loves a lot and gives a lot to her relationships, but typically doesn't want to commit to anything important. she’s gone from one disastrous relationship to another, ending up with a boyfriend who constantly ridiculed her image that was essentially the catalyst for her cutting off romantic ties, quite a recent wound before she found herself on the island actually. worst thing is tht she’s convinced herself that she’s been the problem in these relationships – that she turns good people bad or that she is too much for people to deal with, she’s not sure what the issue is and she doesn’t really want to know. so…. fuck everything amirite ? anyway, she’s a strong independent woman who don’t need no (wo)man.

etc . pls give me people jade can give a makeover to, people she shares an apartment w on the island, people who think fashion is girly and vapid.. creatives who love what she’s doing, anything tbh << 3

#cartoons:intro #ngl making jade's playlist was the best part about this

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dangerliesbeforeyou · 5 years

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dan made me do it

(lol jk, but like i have Feelings(tm) about my sexuality and everything & figure this is the best time and place to do it...)

So I figured out I was bisexual a little over 5 years ago, after discovering it was a legitimate thing I could call myself whilst being on tumblr (2014 was a big time for lgbt discourse, especially in terms of the various terms and labels, most of which I hadn’t been familiar with...)... but tbh, I’d been trying to come to terms with who I was in terms of my sexuality for a long time

I grew up in a religious house (my parents were jehovah’s witnesses), but I never really remember anything vaguely homophobic being thrown around? And even if it did exist, I wouldn’t have been aware of it since I never had any question or doubt in my mind about the fact I was attracted to boys (I’d had a rly intense crush on this one boy for about 5 years through primary and secondary school... I still sometimes see his pics on facebook & u know what? I still would lol anyway...) my early days in school were mostly taken up by trying to get friends not be a total recluse (I’ve always had trouble making friends and connecting to people it’s no biggie it’ ss fineee........ ok carry on>>)

So going into secondary school I never felt that I was anything other than straight? But one thing I vividly remember was the way people in my year treated girls that were suspected to be gay... in short? they were seen as ‘dirty’... it was something perverted, and highly sexualised... (as in: being a lesbian meant masturbating a lot... (i mean: this says something about wider misogyny & demonising of female pleasure but like.. another time, another time) & also making out loads with other girls)... like no one ever came up and said ‘being gay is wrong’, but whenever rumours spread about a girl being suspected as gay and they didn’t deny them, people would suddenly start whispering about them... & it’s super strange to me that this was the same culture that if two female friends were really close and got labelled as gay, but came out and were like ‘oh no we’re straight ha ha we just kiss at parties and touch each others boobs’ or whatever, people would be completely ok with it?

So I never really gave myself the opportunity to go into this... I was never comfortable enough to be super ‘close’ to any of my female friends (intimacy issues: we don’t have to to get into all THAT right now though lol ahahaha....ha...) & I knew I wasn’t so called ‘skanky’ like all the girls who were labelled as being actually gay...

& this was all happening as I found myself actually being interested in looking at girls... (like what can I say? boobs are friggin nice to look at lol...) But i always saw it as innocent intrigue, since I was only 11/12 at the time so hadn’t grown into my own at the time... and the fact I felt more comfortable being touched by or talking to or like literally doing anything with girls? it’s just cos boys are gross there’s no other reason behind it!!.... right?

I think a big thing is that a lot of girls are so open with each other... like they’ll compliment each other’s boobs or asses, or comment on how pretty they are or their makeup skills or whatever.. you’ll be hard pressed to find a girl that goes all ‘no homo’ on her friend except.... I feel like that was me lol? I remember getting compliments from other girls about my appearance (didn’t happen often though pffft) or anything really and feeling all mushy inside, and giving the compliments back felt like a big deal to me? idk I suppose all the warning signs were there that hidden under layers of introverted awkwardness was a lil bi demon just waiting to come out lol!

So yadyyada, 2014 happens and I finally realise I’m bi... I just remember reading something on here about bisexuality and being like ‘oh damn yeh... dat me??’... like it felt amazing to be able to finally accept that I actually like girls too?? & one of the first people I told was this guy I became friends with when I first went to college... & he told me he was also bi and I remember thinking ‘wow!!!!! so it’s actually real?! it’s not just something you see on tumblr from random strangers, it’s an actual thing people I know irl experience wowwowowow’... I also came out to another online friend who I was close to, and it felt really amazing... but I could never translate that into actually coming out in real life (not to mention life was kinda shit at this time and I had like 0 friends but hEY, that’s not for now kiddos lol)...

So yeh, I’ve never actually come out to anyone... not properly anyway... I’ve always been very open about my sexuality online, but in real life I’ve never really discussed it with ... anyone? & it’s not because I’m ashamed in anyway, and it’s not even as if I’m that scared I just... I’ve never felt the need to? But after seeing Dan’s video, plus it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently, this is something I really wanna do... see; I was so ready to live life just being ‘straight until I maybe get a girlfriend one day’, so ready to only tell people if they ask me but I just realised... isn’t that partly living a lie? who I’m with doesn’t change my sexuality, so why is it something I’m seemingly so scared of declaring to the world??

I vividly have this memory, before I realised I was bi, and I have no idea of why or when or any of the details, but me and my mum were watching something, and bisexuality was mentioned, and either my mum agreed with, or she said something along the lines of ‘bisexuals are more likely to cheat’, and that’s really stuck with me.... it’s something that’s always nagging in the back of my mind, and it... really fucking hurts lol... I know for a fact my mum will love my regardless of who I end up sleeping with or whatever, she may be pretty conservative in her mindset of things but she’s always willing to be open minded which I really love about her... but knowing this inbuilt stereotype of bisexuality is something she both acknowledges and somewhat agrees with is really... sad...

I’m 21 years old, I’ve been in one relationship in my life which only last a few months and involved no kissing and only occasional hand holding because I was too terrified to do any more (again: subject for aNOTHER day lol), and I know for a goddamn FACT that my sexuality would never make me more likely to be unfaithful to someone I claim to love...I really hate that this is associated with the label, but it’s something I know that I am... why on earth would I change that or try to be something else when I know that /this/ is me!

I think one of the biggest things putting me off ‘coming out’ is having to explain yourself... like dan howell made a 45 minute long video discussing his own sexuality and experiences cos he knew people wouldn’t just accept it if he just tweeted ‘yo dawgs imma queer lol #swag’ one day, and it feels kinda annoying that queer people/lgbtq+ people feel like we can’t just...... be ourselves without having to justify or explain it?! (even me making this post is solidifying that factor lol... it’s a mess lol)... like I just wanna live my life being bi, is that so much to ask for lol?

I am so so SO grateful we have so much more bi, and lgbtq+ in general, representation in media these days.... it’s goddamn beautiful to see our stories, and the stories of our community being told and cherished by millions, and that’s really gotta be something to rejoice in this pride month!!!

(side note: dan also talks about gender identity & I have literally never related to anything more lol... like 90% of the time I don’t feel like what people classify as ‘womanly’ things... but also I am a woman? idk man lol just call me a formless blob or whatever it was he said lol as a baby no one really knew if I was a girl or boy since my mum mainly dressed me in yellow & I had like 2 strands of hairs on my head lol... damn I miss those days lol)

In conclusion (or tl;dr as I’ve seen the Cool people write on their long posts (yes I had to google what it meant shhhh)):

Hi, my name is Xanthe, my username is ‘dangerliesbeforeyou’ here on tumblr because I made it 7 years ago and I wanted to use a cool sounding harry potter quote so I could come across as sophisticated but also nerdy, I’m a 21 year old female (mostly?) and I am a proud Bisexual...

I’m also single and very ready to mingle if anyone is interested ;;;;;;;;;)

(that’s only half a joke lol... plz romance me I’m v lonely)

#personal #lgbtq #pride month #idk what to tag lol #thank u for giving me the confidence to do this daniel lol...#maybe i'll b able to come out to my family who knowsss

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saigebeaumont · 5 years

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- ̗̀ * ( robert sheehan + cismale + he/him ) have you seen ( benjamin ‘benjy’ magwitch ) walking around campus ? they are a ( twenty-three ) year old, studying ( political science ). we hear they are in ( rho pi rho ), and can be ( magnetic & irresponsible ), maybe it’s because they are a ( leo ). they sort of remind us of ( shiny red apples, walking on ledges, kaleidoscopes ), maybe we can find out more ! ( james + 19 + est + they/she ) * ̖́- + theatre/track

hi hello as u may have seen my name is james and this is my baby, benjy. i dont know how long this is going to get so pls bare with me

tw; fire?

gen. info

full name: benjamin ‘benjy’ henry magwitch / joshua hollowood but u will never catch him actually using his real name tbqh

nickname(s): think of a random name. any century, any gender, any amount of letters or lack thereof. that’s it that’s his nickname. previous aliases that he has claimed to be are - thaddeus, balthazar, dante, romulus, etc., etc.

b.o.d. - july 31st, age 23

label(s): the icarian, the blackhole, the insouciant, etc. etc.

height: tall

hometown: ???

sexuality: chaotically bisexual

bio. info

let’s try and make this short n sweet

so like. y’know when a faerie steals a human baby and replaces it with it’s own, weaker, inferior baby? benjy is the human baby in this case

except they weren’t faeries

dorothea and fawley were two...somewhat, in love, folks--who had really wanted to have a child of their own. when they did, finally, have their child--he was very sickly and small and neither of them wanted their child to be weak goddammit

so they did a switcharoo, like...switched at birth except i’ve never ever seen switched at birth, and ran off with this extremely rich family’s newborn baby instead!

dorothea and fawley were part of a circus, and thus, lil benjy was raised in a circus !! how cute.

needless to say he was raised in a very nontraditional setting, like, homeboy was homeschooled bc they were literally always travelling, around the country and once or twice out of country.

despite that, he never doubted that his circus family didn’t love him or anything like ?? yeah he never called his ‘parents’ mom or dad, but that’s bc it was like...everyone was his parent.

dorothea and fawley told benjy that his name will never define him, and he could be anyone or anything he wants to be.

this caused a tiny benjy to be CONSTANTLY changing his name. like, almost everyday he’d just declare a new name and everybody in the circus would call him that specific name. even when he did acts, he’d go by a different name every single time

this carried onto adulthood and benjy still doesn’t tell people his real name very often. sometimes they’re sort of normal names n other times they’re fucking bizarre.

when he was seven he declared his name was ‘sock’ for an entire month.

grew up doing a buncha odd lil jobs and roles in the circus, from being a lil handyman like fawley to being a magician’s assistant like dorothea. t’was a lil tiny animal tamer (before the circus stopped using animals in their acts because we don’t stan circuses like that no we do NOT) at some point but reeeaaally liked tightrope walking and things as such

also tried his hand at fire-throwing/etc. etc. but the like eighteen (minor!) burn scars across his body will tell u that it was not for him and he gave it up to pursue knife throwing tricks and juggling

wasn’t rly ever around ppl his own age, also never had a smartphone before he was like eighteen or so--he’s not old fashioned but he can definitely be behind on the times

also grew up listening to primarily older rock/folk music/whatever the fuck music his family created/his own music

that being said benjy is good w a guitar but bitch cannot sing. he sounds like a dying frog.

he also did a bunch of petty theft but that’s bc some of the other folk in the circus did it and he was like huh. looks like fun. bc benjy is thoroughly an idiot but more on that later. so he got some shit on his record but he got them sealed when he turned 18, like, asap

but. benjy is a dumbass. he committed ANOTHER petty crime, because the boy has addictive qualities, and he left some dna evidence bc boy’s got some mf hair

surprisingly, it wasn’t through his records that they found him via his dna but, rather, his real parents who did a whole ass dna kit thing for fun one day

this came as a shock to everybody involved, honestly, though tbh ? benjy didn’t care that much that he had parents who weren’t the circus, but that’s bc of his entire upbringing.

either way his birth parents wanted to like. y’know. meet their delinquent biological son and when they did they were like ‘woah woah woah wtf ur in a circus’ and he was like haha yeah

n that was...sort of it, for a while. benjy was 18, had his GED, n wasn’t planning on going to college at all.

the circus was still traveling, the world was all right, etc. etc, benjy maintained contact with his bio parents bc it was Polite to do

and then the circus burned down! somebody did a flaming knife trick when they weren’t supposed to and, long story short--the entire circus went up in flames. there were no victims, no worries, but their entire livelihood was gone and they were all effectively displaced.

when his Rich Biological Parents found out about benjy’s newfound predicament that he 100% was not responsible for whatsoever, they were like . . . . listen. we’ve got a Reputation to uphold, but we’ll send you to college.

he’s been here since he was like, 21, so he’s a junior i think ??

he’s majoring in political science but it’s like technically his first year as the major bc his freshmen yr he wanted to do anthropology and then he switched to mathematics and homeboy was nvr satisfied but now he thinks he wants to do smth w social welfare so he’s doing political science w theatre and public affairs as minors

personality

he’s got. a big personality

he’s got this sort of energy that attracts others but they don’t really know why bc holy shit benjy can be annoying

he’s just super intense ?? like the boy does not know how to calm down, he’s constantly moving around and being dramatic and sometimes whiny

pouts more than a person should averagely pouts

i wouldn’t call him a liar because he can be, very very blunt, and doesn’t know how to beat around the bush, but he likes telling half-truths simply to either confuse others or to just b a lil bitch tbh

he’s got big dumbass energy like okay he’s smart he just doesn’t apply himself very often and he just. does dumb things

gets into fights bc he’s a dumbass. like. he will purposely provoke ppl he doesn’t like, n when he’s drunk he’ll do it to literally anybody esp ppl he likes

also just. doesn’t know when to stop talking. can find ways to ramble about nothing, asks questions w the intent of being annoying, etc. etc.

his ~parents~ didn’t rly believe in modern medicine n they were just like ‘an apple a day keeps the doctor away!’ so he’s got this obsession w apples. literally is always chewing on an apple or a toothpick or anything he can get his hands on. he’s like a teething toddler, essentially

probably the dumbass who plays wonderwall at a party tbh

okay but fun fact! he’s super nimble and just. cat-like, from all his yrs of practicing n performing tightrope walking. if he falls over it’s because he wants to fall over and if he falls over it’s bc he wants ATTENTION

he loves. being the center of attention? but he’s also content with being in the background if it makes sense. he just wants to be doing something, anything

anyways he doesn’t take shit seriously at all like, i don’t think he’s ever had a serious conversation in his life ?

big slut for parties. he loves partying, he nvr knew he loved partying until he went to ucla but he loves it

he’s got an addictive personality so like okay. he’s not Addicted Addicted to anything specific (besides nicotine) but he definitely has no problem with drinking n doing drugs Often.

i mean he’s reckless too he never knows when to stop, feels like he’s tryn to be the Superior boy but he’s not and he’s probably overcompensating nowadays to deal w the guilt of accidentally burning down his entire life

drives cars too fast, drinks too much, has no problem getting into heavier drugs

also okay on a lighter note the boy used to be addicted to cigarettes bc he started fairly young but hoo boy he’s now on that juul game

literally he always has a juul on him. spends all his money on juuls

he works as a florist n a gardener for extra cash even tho his bio parents send him money, just bc its one of the only things that really calm him down tbh ??

also i meant it when i said he doesnt tell ppl his real name, like, ever. at least his first name bc he loves his last name but ? u probably dont know him as benjamin or even benjy, just smth stupid like marcellus the magnificent or booboo the fool hahahsdfgh

did i mention he casually juggles bc i genuinely cannot remember lmao

uuuhh there’s more i’m sure but !! i have a really bad memory!

i also dunno if im keeping his fc but we will SEE

he’s basically like....still a five yr old child

OH okay so i remembered smth else

he’s essentially a nomad which means he hates being rooted to ucla so he’s usually off drivin’ around the coast bc he’s bored goddammit but he always comes back bc he’s a loyal dog

speaking of loyal dogs. he’s got commitment issues. but not commitment issues? it’s sort of like. he gets really interested in things/people, kind of focuses all his energy on that thing or person, and then one day wakes up and is just. terribly bored. tends to drop ppl like that, esp relationships, and he doesn’t think much of it bc it’s Normal for him

but believe it or not, if u call him in the middle of the night he WILL show up, or if u wrong him instead of him wronging u, he’ll still b endlessly loyal

like he’s shitty but he’s got a heart ?

also like i said. he is chaotically bi. both chaotic and bisexual and also the two combined.

he’s chaotic neutral in general

wanted connections ?? possibly ??

frat bros - [hulk hogan voice] brother. he needs them

general friends ! - if u dont hate him then u just. love him, man. no inbetween

exes - he’s probably got...a few of these, because his attention span lasts like a max of two weeks

hookups - they also dont tend to last very long just bc of how he is as a person, but y’know. they good while they last

ex-hookups, specifically

ex-friends - bc he’s an idiot

if u really want to u can bring in a circus pal but firstly idk how they’d afford school but honestly. we can work smth out. hmu [kissy face]

roommate - do they hate each other ?? who knows

bad influence - they only egg on benjy’s dumbass behavior

good influence - probably forces him to study for once, or take care of his dumb ass

idk what to call it but like. ppl who HE eggs on to be bad, is generally toxic to the other person

anything else u want [another kissy face]

#uclas:intro #hi sorry benjy and i are both messes

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zhenyakatava · 6 years

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[last goodbye]

hello and welcome to the Most Extra Request Ever™. welcome. pls strap in! this request is for a cohort of people that (mostly) graduated from magnolia high in the class of 2011, and who are all interconnected through recently-deceased sam friar. as it often goes in small towns, kids who spent their whole lives being around each other tend to part ways at graduation and never see each other again. in this group’s case, they have no choice but to come back together for better or worse, and it’s done a great job at pointing out any cracks that still remain from years ago.

if you want to look at the chart above, pink = romantic / green = friendly / red = antagonistic / purple = familial. each character has a p...retty extensive blurb with lots of connections so we can try and ensure connections and interaction, but i think it’s rly important that everyone knows that these were relationships in high school (for the most part) and definitely don’t have to represent current relationships unless specified (like people who dated in high school don’t have to be dating now, people could have gone away even if it doesn’t specify, etc etc). also!! there will obviously be more connections made, i just could only put so much into graphic and writing before it got to be Too Much!

if you’re interested in a spot pls reply to this or message me or send me a lil msg on discord (morg#3278). xoxo bless

G1 - loren friar, 23, kat mcnamara (played by morgan)

G2 - graziella zavala, rafa constentino (played by betty)

G3 - heidi hope, 24, danielle campbell (played by maddie)

G4 - teddy townsend, 24, zoey deutch (played by suki)

B1 - noah foster, 24, quenten a (played by nicole)

B2 - first last, age, charlie rowe (played by liv)

B3 - micah friar, 24, carter jenkins (played by nick)

B4 - first last, age, face (played by emily)

samson friar (deceased): brilliant but lazy

sam grew up as the kid who acted out, who threw fits in class and got into fights on the playground. not many people really knew how hard sam had it, with strict evangelical parents who took all their frustrations out on him. at the end of the day, after using most of his time and energy being the protective big brother for twin boy 3 and little sister girl 1, he didn’t have much left for school. even though he’d always been smart, brimming with potential, he fought forces both external and internal - including only later-diagnosed borderline personality disorder - on his short-lived path to success. as he got older, the bad boy persona he’d acquired by acting out stuck hard and he rolled with it. he had his siblings and best friends since childhood, boy 4 and girl 3, to fall back on. their ragtag bunch got a pretty gnarly name for themselves, skipping class to smoke and throwing parties in abandoned houses. no one ever expected sam to start dating girl 4, universally known to be an uptight prude bitch. something clicked between them, and even though girl 3’s longstanding crush stood in the way of their relationship, it flourished regardless. for a while, she influenced him for the better. he shaped up, got his grades up, even made plans for college. that phase of their relationship was clearly a manic one, since those dreams died quickly. the romance was intensely passionate but also toxic, and despite the animosity she held for him for convincing her to stay local for school to be together and the personal struggles he faced, they refused to break up. in fact, they even decided to get married. about six months before his death, on the heels of the discovery that girl 4 had fallen pregnant, they got engaged. despite the romantic gesture, it couldn’t save their relationship or stop fate from intervening. when girl 4 miscarried, sam went off the rails. a minor drug habit that was once recreational became much more, and not long ago he ended up overdosing, leaving the carnage of family, friends, and lovers behind.

girl 1 (22-24): baby bookworm

sam and boy 3’s little sister, girl 1 was always tagging along with them. she never really fit in with people her age, never really fit in with people her brothers’ ages, so she was often left feeling isolated from everyone. this meant she often retreated into herself, not pursuing academics because of passion but instead because it was all she really had, one constant she could point to that would always be there. she hadn’t realized that perhaps some of the turmoil she felt came from her repressed sexuality until one night, after a party her brothers had begrudgingly let her go to, girl 2 kissed her. she’d never felt a crush like that before and never thought it would be with another girl. when boy 1 moved to magnolia, the two outcasts got along very quickly, becoming best friends and hanging out every single day. understandably, girl 1 was crushed when she found out that girl 2 had taken a liking to him and, apparently, the feelings were reciprocated. caught between her friendship and the protection of an almost-relationship she couldn’t even admit to, she decided to cut off the friendship with boy 1. just before her brother’s death, she finally gave in to boy 4, her brother’s best friend’s long-standing crush, and it’s not that she doesn’t like him, or that she doesn’t like boys, but that she still sees girl 2 at the grocery store and wonders whether it meant as much to girl 2 as it did to her. there’s also the strange fact that, when she looks at boy 4, she gets subtle reminders of her brother that make his loss easier, and isn’t it close enough to love that they’ve gotten each other through this?

girl 2 (24-25): prom queen

never the smartest in the bunch, girl 2 had to rely on street smarts, common sense and good looks to get along. clever in her own way, she was always particularly attuned to people - how to make them tick, how to get what she wanted, how to make connections like no other. maybe that’s why she was always flitting from guy to guy - though girl 1 would certainly say otherwise. she went from one bad relationship to another in high school, trying to find something in a guy that she couldn’t find on her own. after an ugly breakup with her long-term boyfriend, boy 2, that ended in absolute chaos, she was surprised to find herself interested in the unassuming new boy, boy 1. her friends, including part-time friend and part-time enemy girl 4, were surprised that she’d go for a nice guy - but she knew she needed a change of pace. getting girl 1 to leave her alone in the process was just an added perk - i mean, she was never gay or anything, just curious, and was that so wrong?

suggested faces: nicola peltz, cierra ramirez, camila mendes, madelaine petsch, taylor hill, halston sage, sofia carson, natalie alen lind, virginia gardner

girl 3 (24-25): bad genes

girl 3 was hardly given a fighting chance by the Powers That Be. her drug-addicted parents abandoned her early, leaving her with her not-much-better relatives, a revolving door of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and the like. it was no wonder she started hanging out with fellow garbage kids, boy 4 and sam. it was a surprise to her, though, that she found herself head over heels in love with sam. the feeling was never returned, really, outside of a few awkward kisses or fondling when he was off with girl 4. everyone was always asking why she didn’t just date boy 3, but the girl was perpetually oblivious to his advances because she was always focused intently on sam. at least she thought she was - but his death proved otherwise. she had actually thought things were looking up, and had been given renewed hope for her repressed love after they slept together one night. when he overdosed despite everything she’d done and everything she felt, girl 3 blamed herself more than anyone. the only thing keeping her from going off the rails (just like her one-time true love) is boy 3, and she’s starting to see what everyone was always talking about when they insisted she choose him instead.

girl 4 (24-25): academic alpha bitch

how do you not crack under the pressure when the weight of the world is on your shoulders? girl 4 was always so good at that, not without the help of anti-anxiety meds and meticulous journaling, always keeping up appearances to be the good, smart, promising girl everyone expected her to be. sam was her break from that, something that shocked absolutely everyone. she was too good, too smart, and had too much potential to be with someone like that. really, though, he was the only thing that made her feel anything but anxiety or anger. she made enemies everywhere she went, seeing everyone as a competitor, from her so-called best friend girl 2 to sam’s best friend girl 3 to her class president opponent, boy 2. sam was always her ally, no matter what, even if they fought. everyone blamed it on him, but she made mistakes too - namely, sleeping with boy 2 after a particularly bad fight. in truth, she wasn’t even sure whose baby it was, but either way she was relieved in a way when she miscarried. sam… not so much. she watched his downward spiral but didn’t have the tools to stop it as he froze her out and distanced himself further and further away from her - and, as she saw it, toward girl 3. girl 4 was the one to find him, and it’s a memory she could never forget, something that makes her regret the relief she felt not to be inextricably linked to him. grief-stricken as she is, how can she not see this as a fresh start?

suggested faces: willa fitzgerald, haley lu richardson, naomi scott, jessica sula, saoirse ronan, olivia cooke, zoey deutch, alycia debnam carey, camila mendes, halston sage, daisy ridley, logan browning

boy 1 (23-24): foreign exchange student

texas was nothing like where boy 1 came from. when he transferred to magnolia high, he didn’t know up from down or this from that. he was helpless - and girl 1 helped him. he developed a crush on her quickly, warming to her southern drawl and the way she talked when she got excited about something she was telling him about. at the same time, he started getting closer and closer to his mentor, the girl who was assigned to help him get acclimated to his new home and his new school: girl 2. it was strange to him that, when he became friends with girl 2, girl 1 stopped sitting next to him in economics, stopped eating with him at lunch, stopped answering his texts or calls. he didn’t see the correlation until later, when girl 2 made tasteless a joke about girl 1 being a lesbian. he had to adapt, either sink or swim in the high school environment he found himself in, and being with girl 2 meant swimming - and anyway, girl 1 clearly wasn’t interested anyway.

suggested faces: timothee chalamet, tom holland, john boyega, noah centineo, xavier serrano, avan jogia, keiynan lonsdale, nick robinson, tye sheridan

boy 2 (24-25): big man on campus

boy 2 had everything he needed to succeed in life. his family had money in oil, he was exceedingly smart, he was good at sports and great with the ladies. he had everything going for him - well, almost everything. the only thing standing between him and success was a little temper that found him getting into fights on the football field or getting into screaming matches with his ex-girlfriend girl 2 in the middle of the hallway at school. he just needed something to channel all that energy into, so he signed up to run for class president, a good old fashioned competition that he could put some positive energy into. he never expected it to be such a tough battle, and much less expected to get into it with girl 4. perpetual rivals in school, their rivalry came to a head during the presidential election. she won, but he developed a fascination with her and a hatred for her garbage boyfriend, sam. he went off for college, but she never really left his mind. he came back recently after losing his job (he says he resigned, but that’s twisted the whole truth a little) and met girl 4 in a bar, and he thought their getting together would be a good thing for them - he could give her everything sam couldn’t, everything she needed and deserved. turns out he was just a distraction, and he told himself he’d draw a line. the line has been drawn even further since sam’s death, since boy 2 definitely doesn’t want to get involved with a dead guy’s fiancee. still, he can’t help but wish she’d reach out…

suggested faces: keith powers, dacre montgomery, ansel elgort, jacob elordi, matt noszka, carter jenkins, thomas doherty, gregg sulkin, logan shroyer

boy 3 (24-25): the unassuming one

boy 3 always felt positively boring, not good or bad but somewhere plainly in the middle. his twin brother sam was always getting the attention - mostly negative, but boy 3 quickly became a firm believer in life that all attention is good attention. he was always grateful for the protection he got, for himself and for little sister girl 1, but at the same time was resentful of his brother for his notoriety. they shared everything, like best friend boy 4, and everything else went automatically to sam. sam never respected what he wanted to do or who he wanted to see, including girl 3. sam always knew that he liked her, and yet sam used her crush on him to his advantage at any possible time. as close as they always had been, the resentment was too much for boy 3 to handle and, when he got the chance, he decided to go off and backpack across europe to find himself before going to college across the country. he’s back now for the funeral, and while he know better who he is now, he can’t help but hate himself a little for driving a wedge between himself and his other half. he’s falling into old habits now, trying to reconnect with the person he used to be in any way he can - like how he’s fallen back in with girl 3. now, he can’t tell whether this is growth, or if he’s just regressing back to his lesser self.

suggested faces: logan lerman, joe keery, nat wolff, cole sprouse, carter jenkins

boy 4 (24-25): class clown

no one ever took boy 4 seriously. he was always sort of dumb, this caricature of a class clown that had nothing else to offer. after a while, he sort of saw himself as that, too. he moved in a pack with boy 3 and sam, cracking jokes whenever he could and coasting along until high school would finally end. he spent so much of his young life hanging out with the twins that he became well acquainted with girl 1, their little sister. the boys had their own things, girlfriends and schoolwork and everything, and as they got older and boy 4 found himself devoid of any real passion, he spent a lot of idle time with her, learning from her and maybe, secretly, falling in love with her. he always knew how protective sam was of her, though, and as fiercely loyal as he was, he would never sacrifice their friendship for anyone - not even someone as amazing as her. sam dying was the worst pain he’s ever felt in his life, and if being around girl 1 is mutually beneficial, wouldn’t sam be okay with that? he has to tell himself yes, otherwise the guilt would overtake him and he can’t deal with that on top of everything.

#fmsrp #here it is #my life's work

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