#I have so much negative energy pent up in my body I need to vent it out | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

musicallisto · 4 years

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hey i really love your writing! if requests are open, may i request a ship with a harry potter character? i play basketball, badminton, volleyball, karate, i do debate, i'm either slytherin or gryffindor according to Pottermore, i have the temper of a lion, once we're friends, i'll love you with all of my heart, i get really good grades without trying, i'm 5'8 but i love to wear heels, i have a fierce pride, but i bottle up my feelings--i'm kinda self destructive

I Ship You With...

Sirius Black (Marauders Era)

Sirius would not be intimidated by your fiery temperament; in fact, I imagine he would be quite thrilled by it. You can get very intense and so can he, so that’s why you’re such a high-energy couple; basically you don’t let anyone walk all over you, not even the Marauders. You’re blunt, and hot-headed, and Sirius loves that because it reminds him of what he looks for in a best friend - someone who can keep up with his antics and won’t be intimidated by his brash nature. It’s only a matter of time before he realizes he’s actually in love with you.

It might have to do with how good you look in heels, though. They’re, of course, prohibited at Hogwarts, but during the holidays when you’re all at James’s house and throwing a party, he sees you in a dress and heels for the first time and he’s completely blown away. Before that, he had been a little bit dense in the sense that he always found you attractive, but your personality reminded him so much of his friends’ that he considered you “one of the boys”. From that moment on, he completely abandons that idea, however. You’re an incredible woman, fierce and proud, strong and ambitious, and he couldn’t be more head over heels (ha!) in love with you. James may have caught him staring at you a few times since that day, before he confesses and you become an official item.

Sirius dabbles on the “Gryffindor/Slytherin” limit as well, and you definitely recognize some Slytherin qualities in his temper, although it scares him more than anything to believe he could follow the steps of his family. You reassure him that there’s nothing wrong with being a Slytherin in itself, and that whatever house you’re in doesn’t guarantee you will be a good or a bad person. It’s thanks to you that he has a more nuanced side about the people and the world surrounding him, and that he learns to embrace his Slytherin side a little bit more.

That does not mean he forgives his parents for what they did, or start looking out for the best in them, obviously - they’re trash and you both know it, so you don’t want him to crawl back asking them to have mercy on him. Besides, by helping you get out of your self-destructive habits and offering you a healthier outlet to vent your frustrations to or let go of your emotions, he discovers that he, too, has quite unhealthy ways of dealing with his pent-up anger and fear and years of abuse, notably taking it out on other people. It’s a sudden realization and it freezes him, because he suddenly becomes aware that in his paralyzing fear of not becoming what his parents wanted him to be, he is exactly doing that. You can both work on your feelings and coping mechanisms together, and something that calms you down is taking a nice stroll around the castle grounds and talking earnestly about your feelings. The Marauders are always surprised to see how lowkey and mature you look in those moments, but it’s a much-needed relief for the both of you.

You would introduce him to a lot of Muggle sports, mainly the ones you practice often, and he’d love them a lot. He would struggle a bit with the concept of karate and any martial art at first, because why would you need to fight with your body when you have a wand that can do everything you need for you - and if you are talented enough at magic, you can even blast non-verbal spells? But he understands the appeal when you argue back that when you don’t have your wand, or you’re too caught up in the situation to think straight, your body is your most reliable weapon. Also, martial arts are a great way of dealing with negative emotions and releasing frustrations - he should try it sometime.

You always have the best arguments to counter his. It’s a little bit frustrating how unwilling you are to let go of a discussion until you have undeniably won, by shutting him up. But he lowkey loves someone who will not go down without a fight - someone like you. It makes it all more exciting, doesn’t it?

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livingthatlibrarylifestyle · 7 years

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DEALING WITH STRESS AND ANXIETY WHILE STUDYING

I have found that studying and having certain expectations placed on you by both yourself and others causes a lot of stress and often a lot of anxiety too. While I have not yet mastered how to chill out to a point where I am completely calm, I have developed a few techniques which I thought I could share to try and help others out there.

When I have a lot of things going on in my life, both personal and study-wise, I get a lot of anxiety and stress over the smallest of things. I feel myself constantly worrying about any and everything. And when one thing works itself out I worry about it all over again from a completely different angle. If I had a test coming up I would worry about whether I had enough time to study, and when I had studied as much as I could have I still worried that I could’ve done more. Even once I had written the test and felt I had done ok, I would worry all over again and doubt my own assessment of how it had gone. This has been a constant theme to my studying and it has fed into my personal life.I stress about everything, and worry so much that I am going to fail that I feel anxious constantly.

Not only has this effected my physical health (it effects my eyesight, and my fingers go numb from not breathing enough) it has also effected my mental health. This is too often not spoken about in the studying community. We are all so ready to focus on pretty notes, neat hand writing, and aesthetic desk layouts but we are too silent on what goes on behind the scenes.

Dealing with anxiety is a really common issue amongst a lot of students of all ages. As many as 1 in 6 people are effected by an anxiety disorder. In my case I experience only a part of what those with an actual disorder do, so I can’t give advice on how to handle anxiety disorders (if you do suffer from and anxiety disorder or think you may please go speak to your Doctor about dealing with it, because telling yourself to relax is not going to work).

But this is what I suggest for how to handle a stressful situation and periods of anxiety brought on from studying.

1. PLAN YOUR LIFE OUT TO A TEE My stress and anxiety stems from a feeling of not being in control of my own situation and pressure to achieve. This combo spikes my anxiety to a whole new level and I am always convinced I am going to fall on my face and fail. What I have found as my best tool to defeat this feeling is to plan out everything. I mean everything. I assign a time to everything I do, which motivates me to keep pushing myself to get everything I need to done but also helps me feel like I am in control of all the moving parts of my life and that its not the other way round.

Plan your meals, your studying times, what you have to study, when you will take studying breaks and how long those will be and what you will do during them. Set out hourly, daily and weekly goals of what you need to achieve. Work backward starting with weekly priorities and then decide which ones you will do on what day. From there determine when in the day you will be able to set aside time to get this done. Seriously this works so well.

2. TALK ABOUT IT Vent! People around you will be going through similar things as you, especially your friends who are in your classes etc. Other people feel your stress too, even if its not the same they will be able to understand it and can reassure you. I often get so worked up about the smallest things in my mind and once Ive spoken to my friends about it I feel so much better. Its not even about what they suggest but more about being able to unload your worries. Plus sometimes the advice is usually pretty solid.

3. EXERCISE Stress and anxiety have physical as well as mental side effects. I usually have tonnes of pent up energy from all the adrenaline when I’m really anxious (anxiety is caused by your body not being able to processes it). So releasing your energy through running or doing some type of activity will help you not only release all that energy but can also help you clear your head and get some quiet time to yourself and your own thoughts.

4. KNOW THAT YOU AREN’T PERFECT Accept that you are not always going to be perfect, and that if you don't succeed you are not a failure but just a person. We all get it wrong sometimes, and cant do everything. You might not get that A or even pass a test. You might forget to do something on time or wont study enough as you could have. Don’t be so harsh on yourself, because you don't need to be your own worst enemy. While its great to have high expectations for yourself, as this helps you achieve your goals, it is extremely self-destructive to tear yourself apart if you get something wrong.

5. SET OUT GOALS Create a vision board of your goals, aims or wishes. Stick it up somewhere you can see it often, as a visual reminder every day of what you are working toward is a great motivator to help you understand why you are in the situation that you are. I get really stressed out with studying and sometimes want to give up because the pressure is too much, but when I see my goals set out in front of me it serves as a great reminder of why I feel that stress — I want to achieve my goals. And its that realisation that I find has a calming effect as thats when the determination kicks in.

6. REFRAME YOUR THINKING By reframing your anxiousness and stress from a negative thing into a positive thing, you can be a more productive version of yourself. By looking at your worries in a different way you can channel your stress into a positive outcome. Use it as a motivating tool to work hard, rather than as a distraction. While this is something that people with anxiety disorders can’t just do, if you experience stress and anxiety like I do you are more in control of your state of mind than you think. I give myself a little pep talk and realign how I am viewing a situation. You are the one who knows yourself best, so naturally you should be able to motivate yourself using the stress as a catalyst.

I hope this helps you calm down and take back control over your feelings of anxiousness and stress. These techniques work for me, but please add more that find help you!

#anxiety #stress #dealing with stress #masterpost #studyblr #studyspo #studying inspiration #studying #motivation #help #student #student problems

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thehautegoddess · 5 years

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a goddess must vent!

i have been working hard to change some of my mental habits and #stayatpeace about things that are not going my way. I have been #praying, #meditating and #saging like a madwoman…to no avail! i was starting to feel overwhelmed and frustrated and my vibration was NOT where it needed to be. my understanding of spiritual law dictates that there is a block within that is keeping me stuck. i was having a casual conversation with my #bff @lelebee26 and out of nowhere, i burst into tears. i unloaded everything i needed to get out, and instantly felt better. a goddess must #vent! in my quest to keep my vibration high and focused on what i was trying to create, i realize i was operating from fear, and instead of facing it head on, i kept pushing it down. i mistakenly thought that because i am growing spiritually, that it was somehow wrong for me to not always feel all aligned and sh*t. my goal was not to spend too much energy on the negative and only focus on what i wanted. but you can fool some of the people all the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can fool the universe none of the time 😊 lol…my mouth was saying one thing, but my heart, and therefore my vibration, was emitting something completely different…hence the delay in my request. my bestie helped me to realize i was being WAY too hard on myself, and literally i felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest. this situation was also a reminder me of the importance of #therapy. when my father passed, i had an amazing grief counselor who helped me through the process. there is something to be said about the power of unburdening all your sh*t on a professional! i believe everyone can benefit from therapy, and it was completely life changing for me!

i realized just how much pent up energy i had inside, and how it was really affecting me. it was a great reminder of the power of energy and our thoughts. we MUST express our feelings and emotions and get them out of our bodies. keeping them inside leads to stress, illness and low vibrations and that is NOT the goddess way. if you feel like you need to cry, then cry. if you need to have a moment of self-pity, have it. but do not stay in either space for long. get back up, dust yourself off, and ask for signs from the universe. the morning before i talked to my bestie, i prayed for a lead, and then we had that transformative conversation that left me feeling so amazing and renewed. it is okay to have a moment, but a goddess needs her community and support. let your tribe help share the load – and you do the same for them when it is time. also consider formal therapy. unpacking your thoughts and fears is critical to help us reach our highest selves. but always remember that the universe is on your side and it knows what it is doing! all is well, my love! and so it is!

blessings😊

meditation moment: plan a monthly (or weekly, if need be) “release session” with a tribe member – vent any of your frustrations, fears or/and doubts, then together pray to release it to the Holy Spirit. make this a habit…knowing that you have a regular space to release will give you tremendous peace. if you don’t have a bestie you can vent with, email me at [email protected] 😊

let’s discuss – log in to disqus to comment! you are a goddess – love yourself! now go do your work 😊 until next time!

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colliekitten-blog · 7 years

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Venting

I’m only writing here to vent. Do not take action against anyone that may be mentioned in this “diary” of sorts (if this happens to be public due to facebook being glitchy today...).I know you won’t read this. I’m sort of glad that you can’t. I spent a large portion of my life trying to bring others up at the cost of my own self-worth, happiness, energy, money and time. You can waste my money and energy, I can get more. But please do not waste my time. I can never get time back, no matter how hard I try. I cannot make more time. I can try by living more healthy, but one day it will come to and end.I know you won’t read this. I kind of want you to. I want you to know how much it hurt me to be betrayed by the two most important people in my life. People I’ve spent years getting to know. Four years and three years respectively. For these years I sacrificed a lot of myself, relationships with my other friends and family. I sabotaged old relationships because you felt threatened and I would do anything to keep you by my side. I know you won’t read this. But I wish you would come back to see this some day when I’m gone. How badly I wish to tell you that I hated myself. After every break up attempt you made; I was always to blame. I was too clingy one week and the next too distant. I began to change myself to what you wanted. In doing so, I have lost myself. I’m lost, wandering through life right now trying to rebuild these pieces of me that once existed. I let you control who I was; I was just clay to you to sculpt and shape into what you wanted. You were not in love with me, but the idea of what I would become because of my loyalty.I know you won’t read this. I so badly want to tell you how I feel. I so badly want you to know how happy I was that we were all friends. I believed everything would be dandy after I introduced the two of you. We made plans to move in altogether, to love each other. Promises were made, ideas hatched. I truly thought this was how my life would plan out perfectly. You won’t read this. There’s no way you’ll turn back and ever care for me after what you did. I remember in October, you dumped me. We spent days apart in a depression and you talked to her behind my back. You let her drive a wedge between us. Though we both fought for each other, she seduced you. I saw the messages, I saw the photos that were sent. I saw everything before my eyes when you weren’t looking. I didn’t know at the time, but I do now know. I know your plans to move here were not for me, or for your love of this place. They were plans to hook up with my best friend. In November, when you announced this to my family, and faked your happiness with me, I could tell something was wrong. You never said you moved here to be with me, you would dodge that question as much as I would let you. I wish I wasn’t so stupid and oblivious.You won’t see this. I may have deleted it by the time you have forgiven me for the lies that you made up. You manipulated me into spending hundreds of dollars on the two of you. I was pushed away from my friends and family because you told me they would only hurt me. You told me they wouldn’t care. I became so antisocial, I was still changing in your hands as you molded me into the submissive state you wanted. I remember looking at you with doll eyes in November as you forced me to give you my all. I gave away myself to you and I cried. I cried the entire time because it was not loving or romantic. It wasn’t sensual or kind. You just wanted the pleasure of ripping my last piece of innocence from me and destroying my mind.But congratulations, you took everything from me. You made me build walls so high I couldn’t see anyone else over them. You became jealous and vindictive whenever a male would say hi to me. Even while I was at work, you thought every male was trying to steal me from you. Look at me, not even you would take me away from somebody and you’ve told me. You’ve told me I wasn’t attractive enough. I didn’t have the breasts you wanted, the face you wanted. You loved when my hair was parted a certain way, when I dressed how you liked, and acted as you wanted. I was so brainwashed that I believed that was you showing me you loved me. But you didn’t, I don’t think you ever did. You loved the idea of what I could become because of you.You won’t see this. You have no use to come and see this. You’ve lived this story, why would you want to re-live it through words on a screen. My words meant everything and I tried so hard to be romantic and remind you that I loved you, I appreciated you, I wanted you for the rest of my life. No matter how much I gave, you were silent and stubborn. I remember sometimes you would never even say that you loved me back. Some days you just hung up on me without a goodbye. I felt so empty, but because I loved you I believed that you were just tired or someone walked in. You won’t see this. You don’t need to see this. This is your story, you know it all. But I’m only just now putting pieces together. You would let her sit between us. You would hold her hand or hug her longer. I was blinded by rose-tinted glasses. I thought it was friendly and nothing more. I wish I had known. I wish I had left her out of my life the first time she manipulated me. But I’m too forgiving. I let her strut back in, only wanting approval and friendship. I wish I listened to everyone else who knew her. I wish I believed the stories that made their ways to my ears or on my screen. I only wish I could change time.You won’t see this. You don’t want to see this. You want nothing to do with me. I so badly wanted to talk and make things work. I was pushed away and forgotten in an instant. I was left alone in the dark that night, wondering why you were doing this.You visited before. And I remember how open and honest we were. We would exchange phones and let the other text on them and read messages. I remember feeling like everything was on our sleeves. But then you became defensive. When I wanted to see or no, you hid. You would yell at me for being nosy, you even hit me. I remember what it felt like to be slapped across the face. How tears welled up and you told me not to “fucking cry.” I choked them down and tried to hug you for comfort. You were unloving and became “tired.” You said you were going to where you were staying. But instead you went to her house. Who knows what you two did over there or what you told her parents. It truly disgusts me to think about.I remember how willing you were to abandon a poor kitten somewhere. You wouldn’t give her the time of day and didn’t even care for her properly. I now see that it was a reflection of me. You always told me that she was like me, that we would be best friends. After seeing how easily you could give her up and walk away, I realised you could do the same to me. You did. I remember confiding to her, the girl with pink hair, and wishing I could change things. I told her so much that she went behind my back and told you. That day you left. I’ll never forget it. I remember being at the beach and pool with you. All you wanted was to be with her. You sat together, talked and walked away from me more. You eyed her up and down. She put her mouth on your body. You touched her inappropriately and I kept my mouth shut out of fear of angering you. After they went home and it was you and me, I wanted to voice my concerns. I wanted you to know how uncomfortable and scared I was. You wouldn’t let me talk. You were too tired. I kept my mouth shut out of fear of angering you and when I opened it; I angered you. You yelled at me and sped off towards the hotel you were staying at for the final night.I remember the aftermath. The yelling through text. The instant blocking, texting parents, and being so frightened. I remember being threatened and told I wasn’t good enough, I was worthless, I was nothing compared to her. I wish I could forget, but the thoughts cloud my mind. The what-ifs begin, the should-haves argue back, the constant “could be” still beckons my mind if I could just change everything. I admit, I was depressed for a few days and cried. I hurt so badly I almost thought I would end myself. I wrote a note to you and my parents, because I was so tired of it all. I was so sick in the head because you made me this way. You’ll never read this. Maybe one day I can write this story. The story of romance, friendship, heartbreak, betrayal, and growing up. I’ll never mention you, I can’t give you the benefit of having your name known to the world. I couldn’t live with your over-sized ego for popularity, even for negative story-telling. I am not mad or sad anymore. I no longer have a pent up rage or any resentment. I say I don’t care what happens to you both. But I do care. I care for you more because I thought we had a connection when in reality it was only manipulation. I still love you and you’re on my mind. I want only the best for you, but that isn’t what you wanted for me. You wanted me to give up my dreams just to lay down and spread my legs every second you demanded. I’m glad I didn’t. My heart is heavy, but my mind is free. I will never forgive either of you for what is done. I don’t even think I could maintain a friendship with your type. I only wanted to talk, but instead you ignored everything and walked away. I could never take you back, I don’t want to take you back. I took you back everytime you tried to abandon me - and I think it’s because you saw that without me, no one was really there. Your friends moved away, parents working all the time, no one would get on xbox, and ore. The world began to ignore you and it opened your eyes that you needed me. You needed me because you wanted the reassurance that someone cared for you in so many ways. Now you have that in someone else. And she can open her legs every time you command because that is what she does. I am tired of being afraid to walk out my front door out of fear you’ll be waiting to hurt me or yell at me some more. I went to the mall without you today and was so paranoid. I was alone and paranoid. Constantly looking over my shoulder, praying I wouldn’t see you hunting me down with those demon eyes. I’m scared when I see your car drive by my house so slowly; watching to see if I am home. I’m living in fear. The constant fear that somehow you’ll get me alone and push me into the “dark corner” you threatened me with. I want to be free. I want you gone so I can walk to the store without fear that you’re there in the shadows watching my every move.I don’t want you to read this. I don’t want you to see how much better I am doing without you. I want what’s best for me now. I want to focus on my brighter future; brighter than yours might I add. I know that my life has a purpose, it’s too bad I thought that purpose was you for so long. I’m sorry I kept you tied down with my loyalty. I’m sorry that in the end I became more mature and realised that I didn’t want to bow down to you anymore. I’m sorry that my depression and tears drove you away. I’m sorry for being the person I am. Actually, I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry for finally understanding what I want. I’m not sorry that I have life more figured out than you both. I’m not sorry for refusing to do drugs with you. I’m not sorry for standing up for myself. But I am most definitely not sorry to have met you. I don’t regret meeting you. Without you, I couldn’t have matured and realised I was in an abusive relationship. Without you, I wouldn’t have lost myself just to desperately try to get back every piece of me. I would never have realised that I do love and respect who I am, and I only want people who can do the same in my life.

#abuse #emotional abuse #violent #lost #mental illness #mentally ill #mental health #scared #afraid #paranoid #stalker #im sorry #sorry not sorry #i wish i was dead #i wish i was joking

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