#I have to walk on eggshells every time i leave my room

[wkemeup]

The Bet

summary: The agents at SHIELD have not taken well to Bucky’s pardon. When he’s injured on a mission under suspicious circumstances, you take matters into your own hands.  

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

word count: 7.7k

warnings: canon level violence, bucky’s internalized self-punishing issues, shield agents being real pieces of shit, badass reader who would defend bucky to the death

a/n: I know I’ve been really inactive lately (life’s actually been going well so I’ve been busier but that leaves me less time to write unfortunately), but I’m still lurking here! This is a fic I wrote several months ago but finally got around to editing it. Hope you enjoy!

Bucky wasn’t sure how you managed it – the punch to his gut every time you walked in the room. You were dressed in your tactical suit; black fabric draped over every inch of your body, protective layers of Kevlar and technology beyond Bucky’s years, a weapon strapped to your thigh and knives hidden in your belt and at your ankle. Your hair was tugged out of place, sweat beaded on your temple from the sparring match in the gym moments before the two of you were called to service. In your right hand, you carried your combat boots, the laces hanging low enough to touch the ground.  

And still, Bucky held his breath as you approached. Stomach in knots, chest tightening until his heart threatened to stop entirely.

“My offer is fifty this time,” you announced, winking in his direction before you turned to head for the landing bay. “Take it or leave it, Barnes.”

It was a game you’d been playing since your first mission together. A running bet to determine the better combat fighter. You’d insisted on measuring it not by the number of Hydra agents taken down or the bullets left in the magazine at the end of the mission, but by who walked away with the least damage on their body. A competition in the lack of scars.  

He suspected it was your effort to distract him, to center his mind on something other than the crushing weight on his chest as he stepped into yet another Hydra stronghold. With his pardon only coming through the official channels three months prior and the nightly news still debating whether he should be locked in a psychiatric hospital or executed for his crimes, Bucky didn’t mind a little distraction.  

He wasn’t sure what to make of you at first – this woman who cared so little for the eggshells scattered around his wake. Thin, broken pieces shattered under your steps, sharp edges digging into the soles of your feet and you did not flinch. You never hesitated in your teasing, never withdrew a cautious touch from the hardened steel of his left arm, never treated him as though he were fragile or unhinged. Instead, you placed bets on the outcomes of your shared missions as if his lethality was something to respect, to admire.  

Part of him wondered whether it was your attempt to keep him unharmed. The winner would have the least number of cuts and bruises – the least physical pain endured. Bucky had no problem using his body as the weapon it was designed to be, even if it meant being reckless in his own skin. It was what he’d been trained to do for decades; constantly reminded that his body was not his own to command, not his own to protect and shield. The mission came first. The mission always came first. Above his safety. Above his comfort. Above his sanity. Hydra cared little for how damaged he walked away from a fight as long as he did as he was ordered. But not you.  

No, you never could seem to hide the subtle twitch of relief as he won bet after bet. How your shoulders seemed to lose the tension aching in your muscles as you handed over the winnings he did not want. Because it meant you’d lost – that you’d been injured more than he had – and Bucky wanted no part in celebrating such a win.  

“I don’t want your money, Y/n,” Bucky said as he did before each mission. He fell in line beside you as rookies parted down the hallway with each approaching step. Most kept their head down, eyes averted. But not all. Some openly stared at him as if they might bore holes into his tactical suit. 

“Who says I’m paying you shit?” you scoffed, a smirk edging at the corner of your mouth. “Fifty, Barnes. You on or what?”

Bucky chuckled. “Yeah, fine. I’m in.”

You walked with a slight bounce in your step after he agreed and Bucky could not stop the smile as it tugged on his cheeks.  

By the time you reached the quinjet, the team of agents was huddled in the loading dock awaiting orders. Steve stood with a hand leaning against the pilot’s chair, the other hooked on the font of his belt. The rest of the team – a group of highly trained SHIELD agents dressed in full combat gear tensed as Bucky followed you onto the jet.  

“Thanks for joining us,” Steve welcomed sarcastically though there was humor in his grin. You rolled your eyes and held up your unlaced boots as if that would be answer enough that you were caught off guard for the unplanned mission.  

“Not all of us wait eagerly outside Fury’s door for scraps of adrenaline,” you teased and tossed a wink over your shoulder at Bucky.  

Steve bit his tongue to hold back a laugh. He turned to one of the agents lingering by the cockpit. “Get us in the air.”  

“Yes, sir,” the agent responded and quickly jumped into the pilot’s seat.  

Steve made his way to the table at the center of the jet where the building’s schematics were illuminated in three dimensional holographic lasers. Bucky exhaled a heavy breath as he followed, studying the lights as they detailed every inch of the building he would infiltrate in a matter of a few hours. He kept his right hand down by his side in an effort to not reach out and touch the floating blueprints.

“Y/n will lead Team B through the back entrance and up to the second floor,” Steve explained as he widened the schematics with a single swipe of his hand. The floor print zoomed into the level he was describing.

“Meanwhile, I’ll lead Team A through the main floor,” he continued and adjusted the visual to display the path he intended to take. “We’ll come in hot through the primary entrance. Draw as much attention as we can. That’ll give Bucky the time he needs to track down the Berlin files.”

Bucky swallowed as many of the agents turned to look at him. Steve had briefed him ahead of time on the mission so he knew he would be taking this one on his own. He knew the building better than anyone else, better than anyone who had studied the blueprints. He knew Hydra better than anyone else. Whether he was stored in this particular site was irrelevant. He understood how Hydra operated, enough to determine where they’d keep the sort of information that could bring the organization to its knees. It made the most sense.  

Clinical. Rational.  

“He’s going alone?” you questioned, your voice quieter than Bucky was expecting. Your focus was solely on Steve, brows knotted at the center. There was a soft waver of concern in your tone he was sure did not go unnoticed by the rest of the team. You’d seen Bucky’s right-hand curl to an aching fist enough times at the mention of his former captors. You knew the wounds were still fresh, the ink on his pardon barely dried.  

Steve nodded reluctantly. “We’re going to make a lot of noise, but don’t mistake me. This is a stealth op. Giving Bucky a team is only going to slow him down.”

“You could at least give him back up,” you argued, the gentle hesitancy dropped from your tone. Your hands planted firmly on your hips. Tension coated thick into the room.  

Bucky was about to step in, to put a careful hand on your shoulder and tell you he could handle himself just fine, that there was nothing to worry about. Maybe he’d crack a joke. Maybe then he could brush off your concerns and the knots in his stomach as simple worry for a reliable partner. But one of the senior agents – Hanning – cleared his throat first.  

“She’s right, Cap,” Hanning said. “It’s not a good idea to send him in alone.”

You exhaled a sigh of relief, looking to Steve with a challenging smirk, but Bucky knew Hanning’s words for what they were. His stomach bottomed as he started to reach for you, to pull you back from the room before you could hear the rest of what Hanning was surely about to say. Bucky could read it on each of the agents’ faces – how they all looked down their noses at him, how thier gazes flickered to the reflection of his left arm in disgust, how they tensed the moment he stepped on board the jet. Humiliation burned hot in his cheeks before Hanning even uttered another word.  

“See!” you hit Steve lightly on the arm. You grinned back in Bucky’s direction and did not see the dread weighing in his eyes. “Just give him two guys. Just enough to make sure he’s—”

“—watched. We all know the Winter Soldier can’t be trusted alone in a Hydra facility.”  

You stilled at Hanning’s words. Bucky watched the edge of your jaw flicker as you clenched the muscle, your hands gripping tight to the edge of the table. Bucky wondered if it might splinter under your hold.  

“Excuse me?” Venom dripped from your tongue on every syllable.  

“You said it yourself,” Hanning replied with a short shrug of his shoulders, as if you had simply misheard him. “The Winter Soldier shouldn’t be left on his own. No telling what he’d do unsupervised. Especially around his old buddies.”

You flinched – actually flinched.  

To Bucky, this wasn’t anything new. The serum has cursed him with heightened senses strong enough to overhear the quiet whispering when he entered the gym, the nervous murmuring of rookie agents who had grown up on ghost stories of his most prolific crimes. He noticed every frantic skip of a frightened heartbeat and every cold, seething glare of an agent whose loathing outweighed that of his fear. There was little room for anything else amongst the agents within SHEILD.  

You – and only a few others among the Avengers – were the exception.  

His pardon was conditional. He couldn’t afford the kind of trouble these agents were egging him into. One step out of line and he’d find himself with a lifetime sentence on the raft. Maybe that was what he deserved, but he couldn’t risk retaliating against the agents, couldn’t so much as chance a bitter word thrown back in their faces. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to admit that it was only in fear of not seeing you again that held his tongue.  

Bucky had grown numb to the taunts and the stares long before he stepped foot in the tower. He knew how to keep his head down, how to swallow back his pride at the expense of his dignity. He learned how to endure the humiliation, the shame. Hydra had taught him well.  

You, however, did not tolerate it.  

“He can’t be trusted, Cap,” Hanning went on, turning to meet Steve’s warning stare. “We’ve lost too many guys to his friends at Hydra. I don’t care what papers the President signed. You can’t let the Winter Soldier—”

“Stop calling him that,” you hissed, pounding a fist against the table. The holographic blueprints flared in response. “I said Bucky should have support in the field. Not a fucking parole officer!”

Hanning rolled his eyes; a dangerous choice to make to mock a superior agent in front of her own team. Steam billowed from your ears as several of the agents behind him began to laugh. Hanning wiped his thumb over his bottom lip, his gaze slipping down the length of your body as if to size you up, but he lingered too long. A power move, Bucky deciphered. A means to belittle you. Bucky gritted his teeth.  

“He’s a war criminal,” Hanning challenged, ignoring Bucky’s calculated step in your direction.  

“He was a prisoner of war!” you shot back, voice raising on every word. “Who was pardoned, by the way!”

“You think that changes anything? A piece of paper doesn’t erase the shit he’s done. Doesn’t bring back any of the SHIELD agents he murdered. Doesn’t make him any less of fuckin’ monster and we shouldn’t have to put up with his—”

“Enough!” Steve ordered, slamming a hand down on the table. The blueprints flickered out until the table powered down. “Hanning, get your men in order. I don’t want to hear another goddamn word out of you until we’re back in New York. Y/n, walk it off. We land in an hour.”

Betrayal seethed in your eyes as your gaze whipped to Steve. You expected him to defend Bucky as fiercely as you did, but Bucky knew better, as did Steve. Steve’s involvement would only worsen the division between Bucky and the rest of the team. They’d turn themselves into martyrs; jump on their high horse and twist Steve’s defense to align with what they already believed – that the Winter Soldier was dangerous, untrustworthy, and corrupted everything he touched. Including the Avengers and SHIELD itself.  

And maybe they were right, but it wasn’t a fight you had to be a part of. He worked very hard to ensure you knew little of it at all.  

You clamped your jaw shut to keep yourself from handing Captain America his ass next and quickly turned on your heels. Your hand slid around Bucky’s wrist and without much resistance, you dragged him along with you to the other side of the jet. There, you sank against the bench along the frame of the cargo hold and began sliding your hands along your thighs. As he watched you, Bucky wondered if you might tear the fabric of your suit with how intensely you were digging your palms into the muscle.  

“Hanning’s an asshole,” you grumbled. “Don’t listen to him. He doesn’t know shit.”

You spoke as if you believed it was an isolated incident – a single, rare occurrence he should brush off his shoulders – and perhaps you did. Perhaps you truly believed that no agent would be as brazen as to mock the former Winter Soldier to his face, but you would be wrong. Their confidence grew each time he kept his head down, each time he swallowed back the rage and humiliation at their taunts.  

Bucky sighed, sinking down on the bench beside you. Your hands were still raking against your thighs, your pointed glare still finding its way to the agents huddled on the opposite end of the jet. He figured if he didn’t say something soon, you might lose the battle for your better judgements and take a swing at Hanning before the jet so much as crossed Hydra airspace.  

“Make it a hundred.”

You furrowed your brow, your gaze shifting to him. Already, your features began to soften. Your hands stilled against your knees. “What?”

“The bet,” Bucky clarified, forcing a smile. It didn’t touch his eyes and it ached, but it was all he could muster. “Make it a hundred this time.”

A smirk slowly lifted the corners of your mouth and Bucky felt a weight slip off his chest.  

“You’re on.”

***

“Do you want know what I’m going to do with your money when I win?”

Bucky dug his teeth into his bottom lip to repress a determined smile as your labored voice crackled through his coms. He could hear the static of the radio waves and the frequent draw of your breath as you led your team in combat on the second level. You’d learned early on to switch your coms to an off-channel frequency while you were separated. Steve was the only one who was aware of the isolated channel, but he knew better than to listen in unannounced.  

“Huh, Barnes?” you challenged. He could practically see your smile edging up your cheeks. “Should I tell you how I’m going to spend your hard-earned cash?”

“You do remember you’re the one engaged in combat right now and I’m on an abandoned floor alone, right? Do you hear those odds?” Bucky smirked to himself, imagining the hard roll of your eyes as you scoffed into the coms.  

“You’re not as stealthy as you think, Barnes. Maybe you’ll stub your toe on a desk. Don’t underestimate my skill against these... amateurs,” you spat the last word as if to make a point to the man you were currently barreling a fist into. “Now let me tell you how I’m going to waste your money.”

“Go on,” Bucky chuckled. He stalked through the empty hallway, passing by old offices and labs as he scanned in search of the vault in question. Hydra was rather predictable that way.  

“Well,” you exhaled and clearly threw a punch at your opponent by the grunt that followed, “Sam’s birthday is coming up."

Bucky froze in his tracks; any trace of a grin wiped from his features. “You wouldn’t dare.”

Your laugh echoed in his ears and damn, if it wasn’t the sweetest sound he’d ever heard – took him right out of the Hydra facility he wandered through, out of the memories attached to the lifeless, concrete rooms, and brought levity back to his chest. How you managed to do that while fighting your way through a hoard of Hydra agents was beyond him.  

He turned into a promising office at the end of the hallway. Lavish enough to be one of the higher officer’s, with priceless stolen art on the walls and a desk chair that resembled a small throne. He rolled his eyes.  

“Six ahead! Erikson, McKinley! Go now!” You shot an order at one of your men before returning focus back to your side conversation with Bucky. He smiled at the sharpness of your tone – the authority, the respect you commanded. Just as easily, your tone shifted to the gentle teasing reserved only for him. “Maybe I’ll replace the side camera on Redwing you shattered in Guatamala last month.”

Bucky groaned and drew out your name in a long, exasperated tone as he began fumbling through a pile of stray papers on the messy desk.  You started to laugh again and Bucky couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the ends of his mouth. It was damn near infectious.  

“Fine, fine.” Your voice was breathless; either from the fight or the laughter, Bucky wasn’t sure. “I might venture a trip out to Coney Island. I hear they have life changing soft serve.”

Bucky chuckled just as he tore open a locked drawer, shifting through the contents. “You’d have a hell of a lot of cash left over.”

“Well let’s see,” you began, a short pause followed as you knocked out another combatant. Bucky could hear the thud of the body at your feet. “Two tickets on the train, two world-renown ice cream cones. It adds up, Barnes.”

Bucky furrowed his brow. A sudden unwelcomed pit formed in his stomach as he straightened his back, his hands slipping from their task at the desk. He swallowed, though his throat was dry.  

“Two? Who would you—”

“Are you really telling me you don’t want to show me around your old stomping grounds?” you teased, as if he should have assumed you’d only ever been talking about him. “I can be generous with your money, Buck. I’ll even treat you to a funnel cake if you want.”

Butterflies swarmed in his stomach, his teeth gnawing at his lips to suppress the grin and the flush in his cheeks. He didn’t dare look up at the Hydra symbol painted on the wall ahead of him, but he wondered then if the memory of it might have any effect at all in the wake of your laughter through the coms.

“That so?” he managed to reply, trying to find a piece of himself from the forties that could talk to a woman without stumbling over his words. His heart was pounding. Thundering. His hands gripped the edge of the desk in effort to stop the shaking of adrenaline, but it was such a lovely feeling.  

“I might even win you a stuffed animal.”  

Bucky exhaled as if it might relieve the pleasant aching in his cheeks. “Those games are rigged, you know.”

“I have my tricks.”

A throat cleared at the doorway.  

Bucky jolted, his hand on the trigger and safety unlatched before he got a good look at the face of the man watching him from the hallway. His smile fell as he froze – the sound of your voice calling to him through the coms went unanswered. You must have heard the sudden hitch in his breath, noticed just by the short gasp of air that something was wrong.  

Hanning didn’t so much as flinch as he stared down the barrel of Bucky’s gun. His arms were folded over his chest, his shoulder leaning against the doorframe. Bucky didn’t dare wonder how long he’d been there watching. He was losing his edge. Distracted in the one place he was supposed to be clinical above all else.  

Slowly, Bucky lowered the gun and latched the safety. Hanning cracked his neck to the side as six of his men emerged from the hall behind him. Bucky gritted his teeth and raised a hand to his coms.  

“I’m going dark.”

No time at all passed before you argued, “don’t you dare! Not while you’re out there alone.”

Bucky kept clear watch of Hanning and the six agents slowly making their way into the room, knuckles cracking against their hips, stretching their arms. A quiet anger simmered under the surface – boiling in his veins though no steam would release him from the rage it carried.  

“I found the vault,” he said, the lie slipping too easily off his tongue. “It’s heavily armored. It’ll cause interference. I’ll meet you on the jet.”

He didn’t like the short clinical statements he was giving you, as if you were little more than a handler requesting report. It wasn’t like him and you knew it.  

“No. Tell me where you are. I’ll come to you.” Desperation clouded into your voice.  

“I said I’ll meet you on the jet,” he replied sharply; harsher than he ever intended to be with you, but Hanning’s patience was wearing thin and Bucky would not stomach you being able to hear what was about to happen.  

“Okay.” You were quieter now, your breaths more labored. Bucky’s stomach wrung in knots. “Just be careful.”

He turned off the coms before regret could sink in.  

“No more Avenger in your ear now, huh?” Hanning jeered, a cockeyed smirk hanging on the left edge of his mouth. He shook his head, a darkness sinking into his features when Bucky refused to answer. “Christ. She’s just as pathetic as the groupie sluts camping outside the tower.”

“Leave her out of this,” Bucky growled. He knew full well of the crowd who chanted his name, holding picket signs in support of an innocence he wasn’t sure belonged to him. Bucky wasn’t convinced they knew much of anything about his crimes. He often wondered if they would still draw hearts around his name if they knew the volume of blood on his hands.  

Hanning scoffed. “She used to be a damn good agent before you started fucking with her head, you know that? Maybe if I take her to bed next, she’ll start defending my honor, too.”

The desk cracked under Bucky’s grip; splintered under his palms. It didn’t matter that he’d never touched you in that way. Didn’t matter that he hadn’t so much as whispered a breath to the torch he carried for you. But reputation and rumor weighed stronger than truth. And Hanning didn’t seem to mind which served him best.

“We both know why you’re here, Hanning,” Bucky said, his voice taunt in the effort. “Stop beating around the bush.”

A vicious smirk warped Hanning’s features as he signaled to his men. Bucky steeled himself – an agonizing, familiar feeling – and he waited for the first blow to land.  

***

Bucky took his time returning to the jet. He didn’t bother turning his coms back on after he begrudgingly tore open the vault door at the back of the office and obtained the files SHIELD was after. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to stomach the onset of questions you’d throw his way, the inevitable concern in your voice, or the lies that would slip too easily from his tongue.  

You and Steve would have already returned to the quinjet by now and he was certain you were wearing a tread into the floor of the debrief room. If he closed his eyes, he might have been able to picture your arms folded tightly across your chest, the scowl creating lines down your forehead, and the hushed grumble as you muttered under your breath, eyes constantly darting back to the door in search of him.

Bucky took no pleasure in his lies. He did not enjoy the slight hitch of concern in your voice as you begged him to stay on coms. No— it tore into his chest in such a way he was left wondering if there would be anything left at all if he continued this way.  

But you couldn’t know.  

You couldn’t know the truth of how far men like Hanning would go to appease their fragile egos. How agents of an organization you dedicated your life to abused their power and a loophole in the system to ensure they could pull one over on the Winter Soldier in favor of bragging rights and a misguided sense of justice. You couldn’t know it wasn’t Hydra that left him bruised and battered after these missions, but instead the agents under your watch.  

Bucky paused as he came up on the ramp to the back of the jet. In the vague reflection of the charcoal surface was a trail of welts and bruising covering most of his face. Red had seeped into the white of his left eye. The center of his bottom lip was split open; blood dripped down his chin and left stray droplets against the chest of his jacket. He quickly brushed his wrist against his mouth, smearing the blood onto his hand instead and made his way inside.  

Hanning was standing at the edge of the debrief room as his team passed behind him. He raised his hand to you in what appeared to be a mocking salute. You did not react; your arms folded over your chest just as Bucky had imagined and an irritable glare compressed most of your features. But your eyes shifted to the bloody and broken skin on Hanning’s knuckles as his lowered his hand back to his side. You turned and watched him as he joined the rest of the agents.  

Bucky swallowed and pressed the button at the mouth of the jet to retract the ramp. While you were distracted by Hanning, Bucky shook his hair into his face, keeping his head down, and made his way to the debrief room as he was required to do. He would not be able to hide the damage to his face for long, but if he could at least conceal your reaction from Hanning and the rest of the team, it might be enough to preserve what remained of his dignity.  

You turned and walked back inside the debrief room and Bucky exhaled a heavy breath. As he followed shortly in behind you, he wasn’t surprised to find you had quickly resumed pacing along the back wall of the room. The carpet was slightly discolored under your path.  

Only when Bucky closed the door behind him did you notice his presence.  

You froze, eyes darting across the room. The relief that sank your shoulders was instant, but brief, because the moment you took in more than just his physical body safe inside the jet, a wash of anger and panic absorbed any traces of solace.  

You rushed across the room to him, hands hovering over his shoulders, his forearms, his torso – as if you were seeking to touch him but would not dare to lay a hand upon his body in fear of shattering him whole. Your eyes frantically scanned the open scarring and bruising on his face, searching for more wounds you could not see.  

“What the hell happened to you?” You made no effort to obscure the panic trembling in your voice.  

“Hydra,” he replied shortly, the lie tasting bitter on his tongue. He looked across the room to Steve, who was standing with his back leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. Reluctance clouded the blues of his eyes but he did not contradict Bucky’s story.

“There shouldn’t have been anyone on that floor. You said it was abandoned! That was the whole point of drawing them all to us. You should have been clear!” you tried to reason and shot a glance at Steve to confirm, but his gaze lowered to the floor. You pinched the bridge of your nose as you turned your attention back to Bucky. “Did you get the files at least? Since you insisted on turning off your damn coms to get them?”

Your anger was a mask. Bucky could tell that much for certain by how your eyes shifted consistently to the blood in his left eye and the split on his lip. Fear was not an emotion you took kindly to, especially a fear you had no means of controlling.  

Bucky steeled his features the best he could and pulled the rolled file from the inside pocket of his jacket. Blood stained the corners of the crumpled folder and he set it on the table behind you. You did not seem even remotely satisfied by its presence.  

“Why wouldn’t you just tell us you’d been compromised?” you argued, shoving the folder further down the table. “I could have sent back up to you! Dammit Bucky, I would have come to you myself! You know I would have!”

Steve cleared his throat as he stepped away from the wall, a pleading heaviness filling his eyes as his head shifted towards you – a means of begging Bucky to come forward with the truth. You deserved as much, didn’t you? You cared for him for reasons beyond what Bucky could comprehend. But there would always be that sliver of doubt; that sickening voice in the back of his mind that questioned whether you might think he deserved the retaliation he got. Bucky only shook his head at Steve to warn him into silence.  

Your eyes narrowed on him, gaze following his path to Steve and back. Your instincts were not something Bucky should tread lightly around if he was intent on keeping this from you, and yet – there was some ache of relief to see the questions spinning behind your eyes, the stubbornness drawn to the surface to simply accept his ruse and pretend as though he wasn’t beaten into submission.  

Just as you parted your lips, you paused; your attention caught on the monitors just beyond Bucky’s shoulder. Upon one of the screens, Hanning was dramatically mimicking a fight scene to the entertainment of the surrounding agents. The video carried no sound but it was not easy to mistake the arrogant grin upon Hanning’s face as he showed off the bloodied cuts on his knuckles. Bucky resisted touching the bruise along his jawline.  

Bucky watched as you slowly moved closer to the monitor, studying every muscle in your body as you deciphered what you were seeing. Perhaps he might have been able to play it off as another one of Hanning’s pathetic attempts at boosting his ego by dramatizing a basic combat training move against a weak-willed Hydra agent, but while some of the agents looked to Hanning as if he were a god among men, some carefully – fearfully – looked over their shoulders to the debrief room. As if they were awaiting retaliation. Or punishment.  

Bucky swallowed bile as your spine suddenly went taunt. A gasp drew in a sharp breath to your lungs as you quickly turned to Bucky for confirmation. Suddenly he couldn’t speak – not with the way your eyes were pleading with him to deny it. You turned to Steve next and it only took a second before you saw the weight in his eyes, the truth he’d been hiding at the will of his best friend – how it ate away at him until there was little left. Your hand clasped over your mouth.  

“I’ll be outside,” Steve said quietly, sending an apologetic look in Bucky’s direction.

When the door closed behind him, you turned back to Bucky, waiting for him to say something – anything – to help you understand what happened. Hanning was an asshole, but to do something like this was unheard of. To attack a member of their own team under the ruse of a mission...

And maybe he should have confessed everything then and there, but his own fears were too strong – the possibility you might laugh in his face and side with Hanning, that you might believe him to be as vile and violent as the rest of them, undeserving of a second chance.  

So instead of an explanation, he reached into his back pocket and watched as your face contorted into something akin to horror and grief as he handed you a crumbled hundred-dollar bill. His hand trembled as he extended it to you.  

“What are you doing?” Your voice was barely a whisper; gaze fixated on the speckles of blood on the corners and under his nails.  

Bucky released a breath, though it burned on his exhale. “You won.”

You looked as though you might suffocate under the silence that sank into the room. Tears blurred into your eyes as you slowly took the bill from him, your fingertips lingering against his hand, and tossed it onto the table behind you as if the paper had burned you.  

“I don’t care about the stupid bet, Bucky! I don’t... I don’t want your money! I never wanted your money. Not ever,” you told him, voice shaking. You clenched your right hand into a fist as if it might quell the lump building in the back of your throat. “How long has this been happening?”

Bucky’s own throat was coated in gravel. “It doesn’t matter.”

“So, it has happened before.”

His stomach bottomed as he realized he’d given himself up. You were always too smart for him, too smart to fall for this pathetic ruse. He should have known better than to think he could keep this from you. He prepared himself for your anger, for your disappointment, for your mockery, but instead something akin to guilt sank into your features and Bucky swore his knees might give out entirely.  

“Our own men have gone after you like this... they’ve beaten you on these missions, reported it off as field injuries, and I... I just didn’t know?”  

You brushed at your tears. Bucky suddenly felt nauseous.  

“This isn’t your fault,” he said quickly, giving up on any attempts at concealing his lies further. He could not stand for you to think that you played a single role in this mess. This was on him. Only him. You were only ever the light in his darkest days. You could not hold an ounce of blame for what happened. He wouldn’t allow it.  

“You were in the med bay last month,” you realized suddenly, an awful mix of remorse and agony coating your features. “You were separated from the team when you were jumped. You said... You said it was Kingpin’s men but... it wasn’t, was it? SHIELD agents put you there. They were the ones who attacked you.”

Bucky clenched his jaw, his hand curling tightly to a fist as if that might stop the trembling. “This isn’t your burden to carry. I can take care of myself.”

“Not my burden?” you scoffed. “Look at you! Jesus, Buck. How is this even possible? You should be able to take these assholes on without breaking a sweat! I’ve seen you spar. I’ve fought alongside you. I know what you can do! Hanning barely has a scratch on him. You should have been able to knock him on his ass without—”

You froze and slowly, your shoulders sank.  

“God,” you exhaled, the realization shattering every inch inside your chest as you met his eyes. “You don’t fight back. You can’t, can you? Your pardon. It’s—”

“—conditional,” Bucky sighed and ran a hand through his matted hair. “One word to the council that I’ve stepped out of line and they could revoke it. I could end up on the raft for the rest of my life. And maybe... maybe I belong there anyway but I’m trying to better. To right the wrongs I’ve done. To... to be on the right side of things again. I can’t do that from behind bars. And if word got out I’m throwing punches at the good guys, that’s exactly where I’ll end up.”

“I won’t let that happen,” you swore, wasting no time in your promise. Before he realized it, you were standing only inches from him, your fingertips gently tracing the golden lines on his left hand. He wondered then how he could have ever feared mockery and disgust from a woman who touched him so tenderly.  

A tired smile tugged at his broken lip. “Steve doesn’t even have the power to intervene if it came to that. Let this go, Y/n. I can take a few punches if it means getting a chance to start over.”  

You winced at his words, clenching your jaw as if to choke back a sob. “You can’t keep letting them do this to you. I won’t let you.”

“What would you have me do?” Bucky asked, his voice absent of anger or challenge. It simply carried the heaviness of defeat, of acceptance. “You know what would happen if I gave the council a single reason to doubt which side I’m on. My hands are tied.”  

He realized his mistake the moment a deadly calm swept over you. Clarity, like standing under the eye of storm. Your gaze darted to the monitor where Hanning was still mimicking his fight with Bucky.

“Y/n, wait!”

But you were already halfway out of the room. You did not turn back at Bucky’s plea as you stormed around the corner of the short stretch of hall and into the primary deck of the quinjet. Steve straightened from his position leaning against the wall, his eyes darting behind you where Bucky was quickly following behind. But it was not Steve you’d come in search of.  

Hanning was laughing with a hoard of his men, gathered around the holograph table worth more than any of their miserable lives combined. He rolled his eyes at the sight of you, making a mockery of the fury raging into every line upon your face as you sought him out as he swatted his buddy on the arm.  

The bastard even had the unearned arrogance to smirk as he foolishly turned his attention to Bucky. “Enlisting your girlfriend to fight your battles for you, huh?”

You did not so much as slow your pace, did not draw in a full breath or acknowledge the slight furrow in Hanning’s brow before you threw a punch directly to his left cheekbone. He cursed as he jolted away from you, hands flying to his face as blood began to gush down his nose.  

“What the fuck is wrong with—”

You didn’t give him time to finish before you grabbed a firm hold of his collar and tossed him to the floor. Agents scrambled out of your warpath as you stalked after him.

Hanning looked up at Steve, holding onto his broken nose. Blood seeped from between his fingers. “Do something!”

Steve did not avert his gaze as he replied, “I didn’t see anything.”

Hanning’s eyes widened as you dropped to your knees beside him and fisted his collar. “Sergeant Barnes may not be able to fight back without breaking his pardon, but I sure as hell can. And unlike you, I don’t need my fights rigged to win. Lay a hand on him again and I’ll ensure you walk away from your next mission on a fucking stretcher!”

Hanning clawed at your grip, fear seeping through every line upon his face. “You can’t threaten me!”  

“Wanna bet?” Your nails nearly tore through the Kevlar fabric of Hanning’s shirt. “I’m an Avenger, asshole. You’re no one. I can make sure you’re transferred to the furthest corner of this planet. You’ll wish you were in space with the tree and the goddamn racoon!”

Hanning’s panicked eyes darted back to Steve who only shrugged and turned his attention to the passing of clouds outside the cockpit windows.

Bucky couldn’t help the smirk as it tugged at his mouth. He folded his arms firmly over his chest, sinking back into his stance. This image of you – baring your teeth, vicious in every muscle, seething in defense of him – was one he would commit to memory. He’d return to it in his darkest hours when he could find no answer for the cruel voices in the back of his mind – to draw upon this moment to chase away his demons with your anger and protection.  

“Are we clear?” you ordered when Hanning was too stunned to respond. He nodded frantically, as did the rest of the crew. You released Hanning’s collar and he fell to the ground with a heavy thud. He stayed still as stone as you slowly rose to your feet and brushed off his blood on the thighs of your pants.  

Your chest heavy and steady – each breath longer than the last. You did not tear your eyes away from Hanning for even a second, ensuring he felt every ounce of the rage burning inside of you.  

Bucky took a step forward, unbothered by the stares of the agents as he approached you. He set a hand on your shoulder, instantly noting the rigid tension in your muscles.  

“Come with me,” he requested, his voice quiet enough only you could have heard him. You expelled a breath as if it were made of fire and slowly followed him from the room.  

Bucky stepped inside the debriefing room first. He looked to the windows where clouds were passing by below the jetstream. Steady. Even. He took as much of their calm as he could manage and picked up the crumpled hundred dollar bill from the table. When he turned to face you again, he attempted to hand you the money but you held your hands up defensively and took a cautious step backward.  

“Bucky, no. Please, I don’t want it,” you resisted, your voice hollow and pained. “I only made the stupid bet to get you to stop being so reckless. I don’t want your money.”

He smiled at your stubbornness, at your scheming means to keep him safe. Bucky inched closer to you, extending his left palm up until you cautiously set your hand in his. His thumb drew a careful line along your palm and you watched him with such startling precision, he wondered if you might have been committing the feeling to memory.  

“What happened to our plans for Coney Island?” he asked softly.

Tears spilled over your cheekbones as a tired laugh escaped you. He pressed the bill into your palm and closed your grip around it – holding it tight at the center of your hand as gently as you might his own heart.  

“I should have said something the first time it happened,” Bucky said quietly, his gaze still fixated on your closed fist resting on his palm. “I’m sorry I didn’t.”

You shook your head. “You don’t need to apologize for anything.”

“No, I do.” He sighed, concentrating on the smooth skin of your hand. He skimmed his thumb along the tender skin on your knuckles, his heart suddenly heavy in his chest. “You didn’t even hesitate to defend me. Didn’t even second guess why they might have gone after me. You... you didn't question if I deserved it.”

Your face slacked at his admission. “Bucky...”

“I should have told you,” he repeated despite the burden of grief in your voice. He knew now that if he’d offered you a share of this weight from the start, that maybe it wouldn’t have gotten this far. Hanning wouldn’t have planned each mission to ensure he cornered Bucky on his own and got in enough swings to fuel his pathetic, sheltered ego. Maybe Bucky wouldn’t have spent so long believing this was his penance.  

You lifted your free hand to the side of his face, gently settling against the bruising to cup his cheek. He closed his eyes, sinking into the feeling. Your thumb brushed along a tender ache on his cheekbone but there was no pain under your touch.  

“I know now,” you told him softly, “and it won’t ever happen again.”

Bucky smiled though it tugged at the split on his lip. “I know.”

You lowered your hand from his face and gently pushed the hundred-dollar bill back towards him. “Take this back, Buck. Take it back and promise we’ll still go to Coney Island.”

Bucky closed his fist around the crumpled bill and slowly nodded. You did not release his hand. You did not pull away. You only held him – touched him as though you could not stand to pull away from him.  

“I swear it,” he exhaled, his gaze still fixated on your hands.  

You sighed, relief slipping through your body as you smiled at him. “Think you can win me a giant bear?”

Bucky chuckled and he didn’t mind when the split on his lip ached as he smiled. “Should we bet on it?”  

---

Thank you so much for reading! ❤️ If you enjoyed this fic, please consider supporting me at my ko-fi account ✨

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes #bucky barnes X you #bucky barnes one shot

[suashii]

𝒮𝒫𝒪𝐼𝐿𝐸𝒟 — kuroo tetsuro x reader. 0.7 wc. sfw. fluff.

today was normal in every aspect. morning routines within the apartment went smoothly and you and your boyfriend had decent days out before returning home for the evening. the two of you cooked and ate dinner together, enjoying each other’s company for the first time in hours. and when you finished, kuroo, being the gentlemen he is, offered to clean up the table and take care of the dishes while you began washing up.

“have you seen my sleep shorts, tetsu? the blue ones,” you call out from the bedroom.

kuroo had been responsible for the laundry this week. he’s usually good about making sure he doesn’t leave any lone garments in the washer or dryer and he clearly recalls folding the specific pair of shorts you’re asking about. he must have put them away with his clothing by mistake.

“check my top drawer,” he yells over his shoulder, hoping his voice is loud enough to carry over the running water. he hums to himself as he rinses off the last dish, setting it on the drying rack. it’s only when kuroo is shaking the soapy water from his hands that he realizes his mindless blunder. he has been purposely trying to keep you out of his side of the dresser for the past few weeks so as to conceal a certain object.

“wait, don’t look in there!” water drips from the tips of his fingers as he rushes out of the kitchen and down the hall to stop you from finding what he’s been trying so hard to keep hidden.

though, when he finally reaches the doorway of your bedroom, you’re frozen. seems like he was a little too late.

“what’s this?” you inquire, clasping a small velvet box in your shaky hand. your eyes slowly drag away from the unexpected discovery and meet kuroo’s frantic ones.

“… a ring.” if his hands weren’t already covered in suds, kuroo is sure they’d be sweating beyond his control. you weren’t supposed to find that for at least a couple more weeks. scratch that—you weren’t supposed to find it at all.

“for me?” you question, your tone more steady and even than before.

“perhaps,” he answers.

“perhaps? don’t tell me i’m the side piece,” you try to joke. you know there’s no way kuroo would be unfaithful, but you’re having a hard time wrapping your head around the events playing out before your eyes.

“of course not. i just meant that i never got to ask before you found it.” he shrugs, finally stepping past the threshold of the doorway and into the room. “i didn’t know if you’d say yes.”

no matter how hard you try, you can’t think of a time when the air felt so tense between the two of you. knowing that you are partially to blame, albeit unintentionally, you clear your throat with the goal of resolving the mess that you created. “i know you weren’t planning on it, but you can do it now.”

“do what?” he asks, caving and wiping what was left of the foam from his hands onto his pants.

“propose, dummy.” you toss the box to kuroo, which he catches effortlessly. “that’s what the ring is for, right?”

“yeah…”

“then do it. i have my answer.”

a bright shade of red flushes across kuroo’s cheek as he considers your words. you’re right, he had no intention of proposing so soon, but now that the cat is out of the bag, it only makes sense to. even simply thinking of it is nerve-wracking, yet the thought of walking on eggshells around you until he builds up his courage sounds even worse. so, he buries the jitters ravaging his body before opening the box and kneeling down on one knee.

“will you—”

“yes!” your feet are moving on their own, launching you into kuroo’s chest. your body crashing into his sends him flying backward, his back hitting the carpeted floor with a thud. he doesn’t have time to focus on the discomfort of it all before you’re showering his cheeks and forehead in excited kisses.

“you didn’t even let me finish the question,” kuroo chuckles, pulling the ring from its case and sliding it onto your fourth finger. 

“i already ruined your original plan, no harm in cutting the formalities short.” you hold your hand out to inspect the jewelry, a wide smile spreading across your face.

“i guess you’re right,” kuroo agrees, lovingly gazing at you.

“not to ruin the moment any further,” you start, fighting back a laugh, “but we really need to have a talk about your horrible hiding place.”

#₊˚ପ⊹ signed: haikyuu #kuroo x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #kuroo x you #haikyuu x you #kuroo drabble #haikyuu drabbles #kuroo fluff #haikyuu fluff

[wileys-russo]

lessi as the godmother!!!! 🥹🥹🥹 no rush but please may you write a mini pt 2 where reader has given birth and less meets the baby for the first time<33

sequel to this and part of the a date to remember universe series

godmother II m.earps

"lets fucking go baby!" you yelled at the tv, clapping your hands happily as your wife saved another attempt on goal. it was mid WSL season and since you were so far along now at your doctors advice your wife had promptly banned you from leaving the house for anything not completely necessary, like appointments or your pre-natal classes.

you'd been trying to argue for the last few weeks that to you watching mary play was necessary, but she would just shut you up with a kiss and a firm shake of her head, ending any chance of an argument right there and then.

your wife had always been protective of you by nature throughout the entire time you'd known her, however given you were now pregnant she had become over protective. which meant you found yourself regularly having to bite your tongue not to tear her head off with how she fussed over you.

thats not to say you hadn't snapped.

pregnancy hormones were no joke and some days your wife found herself walking on eggshells, cautious that one wrong word or action would cause you to tip over the edge, your volatile moods becoming incredibly unpredictable.

though she knew it wasn't your fault and more often than not the moment you'd finished yelling you'd burst into tears and apologize, your wife assuring you over and over with soft and loving kisses that she wasn't mad and she understood it was out of your control.

but despite how much mary over worried, she was also your saving grace.

if it was holding up your stomach to allow your back a few brief moments of reprise from its dragging weight, rubbing your very swollen feet, massaging your back and shoulders, putting up with your mood swings, going to the shops at all hours of the day and night to satisfy every little pregnancy craving, if there was any way at all she could make your life easier in any possible way, she was there in an instant, and you adored her for it.

"get in tooney!" you yelled with a cheer, struggling to your feet and pumping your first in the air as the girl scored the equaliser in their match against liverpool, watching with a proud smile as she celebrated with the team, alessia the first one to pull her up and into a tight bear hug.

you heard a strange sound and grabbed at your stomach as a wave of pain suddenly rolled through you. "oh fuck. not now, please not now!" you begged, looking up at the ceiling with your eyes squeezed closed, in denial of what you know you had just heard.

sure enough looking down there was a large wet patch on the carpet and you groaned as another wave of pain rocked your body. sitting down and taking a deep breath you grabbed your phone, hands shaking as you unlocked it and flicked through your contacts to your mother in law.

"hi julie! um no everything is fine...but i think my waters just broke?"

~

"i'm here! i'm here! i'm here! no one panic!" you breathed out a sigh of relief as the door to your room smacked open and mary stumbled inside, still clad in her keepers kit, face blotchy and red as she squatted down, baby hairs clinging to her forehead which was matted in sweat.

"give me a minute babe oh my god that elevator was taking ages so i ran up like six flights of stairs. jesus!" mary puffed out as she struggled to catch her breath, bent over with her hands on her knees.

"you missed the birth mary." you stated quietly, the woman almost falling to her feet at the news, eyes as wide as saucers. "what!? why the fuck did no one call me?" your wife spat angrily, beginning to pace around at the foot of your bed.

"nah only joking. we've taught her well babe she waited for her mum to finish her game before arriving!" your face broke out into a grin, the colour returning to marys as she collapsed into the seat beside your bed, pincing the bridge of her nose.

"i swear on my life woman if you weren't pregnant i'd punch you." "excuse me darling which one of us in labor right now?"

"right! sorry my love. how are you? how far apart are the contractions? whats the pain one to ten? have you seen a doctor? is there a nurse nearby? have-"

"mary baby breathe!" you laughed, struggling up and gently grabbing her face, your thumbs stroking her jaw affectionately.

"i'm okay, just uncomfortable. its hard to explain but everything just feels really tight and sore? its still early stages, the contractions are about nine minutes apart when they timed them. they said my water broke prematurely which though rare does happen and doesn't mean theres any complications before your mind goes there." you explained as your wife placed her hands over yours, bringing them to her mouth and tenderly kissing the tips of your fingers with a nod.

"the doctors not been in yet and he won't until the contractions are closer together, but the midwives have been great. they should come back around in a few minutes actually so you can talk their ear off with your questions then. your mum just popped out to call my mum, she and my dad are getting on the first flight they can." you continued, smiling and giving your a little nod to show you were finished.

"thank god she picked up when you called. baby i told you i shouldn't have played today, what if no one was there to bring you to hospital!" mary sighed with a frustrated shake of her head, resting her chin on your intertwined hands, you almost having to lock her out of the house in order for her to leave this morning.

"then i'd have called an ambulance my love. you did play, and from what i hear you won so im glad that you did. i got here safely, you got here in time, everything worked out best as it could have. so stop being stroppy!" you smiled, gently pulling away your hands and teasingly flicking her ear before settling back into the hospital bed.

"i'm not bein stroppy!" "your moody little pout says very differently." "i'm not! i just love you and our daughter very very much and i worry about you both, you know that." "i know love, but you know at your age you have to be careful about worrying so much, you'll get grey hairs." "i'm hardly two years older than you are!" "I know you're ancient, should be criogenically frozen in a football museum somewhere." "baby i pray every day she doesn't inherit your sense of humour, i don't think i could handle two of you it would drive me to insanity." "mary!"

~

"sit love! i'll get it." your wife remanded as the doorbell rang, rolling your eyes with a small smile as you sat back down, hearing her footsteps hurry off toward the door.

"where is she? where's my little niece? her favourite aunty is here!" "you wish you were her favourite tooney, she won't even pay you a second glance once she see's her godmother is here!" "she's one month old she won't care about either of you, and she's finally been sleeping for more than twenty minutes so shut up, the pair of you!"

you heard the girls before you saw them, hearing mary harshly shush them and a loud smack echo out where she'd clearly whacked one of them, ella whining as she entered the room.

"muuum she hit me!" the midfielder pouted in your direction as you chuckled and opened your arms, the younger girl collapsing into them as you wrapped her in a hug. "stop hitting the kids babe!" you teased your wife, alessia lifting your arm and tucking herself into your other side.

"i'm too young to have three kids." the woman mumbled, rubbing at her temples with an overdramatic sigh. "aw great now she's disowned us!" ella continued sending you a cheeky grin. "baby thats not very nice, say sorry to the girls. you know you love them!" you wound up your wife who shook her head, biting back a smile.

"i am going to check on our actual daughter." mary announced with a roll of her eyes, disappearing out of the room. "i love you babe!" you sung out after her with a smile, hearing her grumble as her footsteps faded away.

"so how are you feeling? we've missed you!" alessia asked as ella nodded eagerly, the two of them not moving from where the three of you were wrapped up together in a hug. "yeah mary runs a tight ship! told us we wasn't even allowed to facetime you until she said so." ella pouted with a huff as you ruffled her hair.

"i feel heavy, tired, fat. i haven't slept properly since she arrived, the bags under my eyes have bags, and i think this is the only jumper i currently own which doesn't have sick or some sort of bodily fluid on it." you paused to chuckle and look down at the faded red material covering your body.

"but she's also the best thing that has ever happened to me. i love her so much i would die for her in an instant, her tiny little fingers and toes and her squishy little cheeks man. she's got me and mary by the throat!" you teared up, overwhelmed by the love you felt for your daughter as both girls either side of you aweed and hugged you tighter.

"speaking of, look who just woke up." ella and alessia's heads whipped behind them with wide eyes as mary returned, gently cradling your new born daughter in her arms. "oh my god she's tiny." alessia whispered with a small squeal of excitement, marys face melting into a soft smile seeing the obvious excitement from the two girls.

"do you both want a hold?" your wife offered, eyes flickering toward you as you nodded encouragingly, knowing how much it worried her to have anyone that wasn't the two of you to do so, but you were working through it together.

"shit but how do you do that? don't they have like no bones? and their heads are soft like jelly? their skulls are like-" ella began to panic, rubbing her palms on her shorts. "language around the baby el!" you warned, shoving her shoulder as she hastily apologized.

"yes they are very fragile, but if you want to hold her i'll show you how." you smiled reassuringly, watching the cogs turn in her head. "less can go first!" she decided as you glanced to the blonde on your other side who was busy staring adoringly at the little bundle of limbs in your wifes arms.

"less?" "hm?" "do you want to have a hold?" "oh yes please."

"okay, sit back and get comfortable." you ordered softly as you stood and mary carefully handed you your daughter, pressing a kiss to your cheek and tenderly stroking your daughters hand with her thumb.

"are you okay? its fine if you need some time, they say it normally takes around five minutes to be properly comfortable with holding a newborn baby." mary checked in with the younger blonde who nodded that she was ready.

"so the most important thing is to support the head and the neck." mary started to explain, taking a seat beside alessia who nodded, following her every word. "so very carefully take her-" mary continued as you gently handed over the baby to the striker.

"breathe less." you chuckled as she exhaled shakily, almost trembling as she very gently took your daughter from you, mary shuffling closer to help her adjust.

"so you want her stomach to always be angled toward you, and her back will rest on your forearm. then you'll support her head in the crook of your elbow and your hand can rest there-" mary gently moved alessias arm as ella watched on in awe.

"-and now you're holding her less." mary smiled proudly, squeezing her shoulder and shuffling back a bit as alessia looked up at you in shock. "wow!" ella breathed out in shock. "you're a natural less." the girl complimented as alessias eyes dropped back down to the newborn cradled in her arms.

"this is so weird, like im holding a whole human right now." "yeah its a bit overwhelming at first but you're doing great less."

"hi gorgeous i'm alessia. i'm your godmum but you can just call me aunty lessi!" the blonde smiled as you sat down on marys lap, feeling her arms wrap securely around you as she pressed a tender kiss to your shoulder before resting her chin there, both of you watching on fondly as ella began to interact with your daughter who was tucked up securely in alessia's hold.

"have you accepted we've got three daughters now?" you quietly murmured to your wife with a teasing smile, pecking her lips and feeling her body vibrate under yours with a soft chuckle.

"yeah, i think i have."

#woso x reader #mary earps x reader #mary earps #alessia russo x reader #alessia russo #ella toone #ella toone x reader #woso #woso imagine #engwnt #woso blurbs #woso fanfics

[whatdoeseverybodywant]

Rebuild & Restore - Chapter 1

Here it is, the sequel to All Falls Down

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SIX MONTHS AGO

Kiyana closed her eyes and let out a deep breath. “I can’t do this anymore Josh. I can’t even go out with some friends without you accusing me of sleeping around.”

“Whatchu’ want me to think Kiyana? Look at how you about to leave this house.” Kiyana rolled her eyes. She had worked so damn hard to get her body back to the way it was before she had her boys. She was going to show it off every chance she got. 

“You never had a problem with how I dressed before!” She responded, raising her voice. 

“That was before you decided that your body no longer belonged to me!” Kiyana narrowed her eyes and stomped towards him. 

“You have no fucking right. You decided to sleep with that bitch first and when i give you a taste of your own medicine you can’t fucking handle it. You been hounding me since I agreed that we can try to make things work. Why are you so damn paranoid Joshua?  I’m here, I’m still here with you after everything you did to me. Get the fuck over what happend with me and Joe and let’s move the fuck on like we agreed.” Josh turned his face up at her before sucking his teeth and stomping up the stairs, slamming the door to their room. 

PRESENT DAY

Kiyana had never seen Josh look so defeated as he sat at the other end of the table with his lawyer. He had his hand folded together and would not look up from the table. He hadn’t even spoken since he walked into the room, only giving his lawyer a head nod or shake when asked a question. 

It She had tried so damn hard to move forward with her marriage with Josh, but they were always walking on eggshells around each other. It wasn’t like before when they were two people who fell in love in highschool and thought they would be together forever. It was different. For Kiyana, it was like waking up next to a stranger everyday for six months. He was still Josh, he just wasn’t her Josh. He wasn’t the same Josh she fell in love with in highschool. His affair tarnished her image of him and she couldn’t pretend anymore. 

“She can keep it.” She heard Josh talk and she blinked, focussing her attention back to Josh and his lawyer. “She can keep the car and the house, she can keep everything.. All I want is to see my kids when I’m off the road.” Kiyana and her lawyer shared a look before she nodded her head in agreement with what Josh wanted. 

“Ok, what about spousal support?” 

“I don’t need it.” Kiyana said and for the first time in weeks Josh actually looked at her. “I called in a couple of favors and I'll be starting back at my old job on Monday.” 

“Kiyana, take the damn support.” 

“No.” She said firmly, crossing her arms over her chest. “I don’t need it, Joshua. I can support myself. I don’t want anything from you.” 

“Wow.” Josh scoffed, staring Kiyana down. “That’s really how you feel? After twenty-three years -” 

“Fuck them twenty-three years.” She scoffed, with a roll of her eyes. “You had an affair for four months! Them twenty three years mean shit now.” She held out her hand to her lawyer and he placed the pen in her hand. “Where do I sign?” 

Kiyana let out a sigh as she pulled into the driveway to Trinity and Jon’s house. The last thing she wanted to do was be at a birthday party with her ex-family. She and Josh had only been officially divorced for about 4 hours. 

She already had it in her mind that she was only going to drop the boys off, she was not staying at this party. She forced a smile on her face as she and her boys walked into the backyard of Trinity and Jon’s house. The smile faltered a bit as the backyard went quiet with all of Josh’s family members staring at her. 

Clearing her throat, she held her head up high as she walked over to where Kamari had run over too. 

“Hi.” She said to Josh handing him Kairo who was already trying to jump out her arms to get to his dad. Josh said nothing to her as he took Kairo and Kiyana resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She bent down and placed a kiss on Kaiden’s and then Kamari’s forehead. “Daddy will drop you guys off at home ok.” She said to them, cutting her eyes to Josh who nodded his head in agreement. 

“You’re not staying?” Kaiden asked, grabbing her hand with a pout on his face and Kiyana almost folded.. almost. 

“No bubba.” Kiyana said softly. “Don’t you wanna spend time with daddy and your cousins?”  She pointed over to where Kamari had run off to with their cousins, playing in the bouncy house and Kaiden nodded but still didn’t let go of her hand. 

Josh handed Kairo over to his sister and bent down so he was eye level with Kaiden. “It’s okay Kai. You gon see mommy later okay.” Kaiden nodded and gave his mommy a kiss on the cheek before running over to where his cousins were playing. 

“Okay you can go now.” Kiyana let out a sigh then chuckled. She knew it was coming. “Nobody wants you here after what you did to my brother.” Kiyana rose back to her full height and turned around to face Josh’s sister Melvania. She smirked as she took in the look on Mel’s face. Melvania never liked Kiyana over some petty cheerleader bullshit that happened back in high school. 

“Never said I was staying ,Mel.” Kiyana rolled her eyes. She nodded her head at Josh as went to walk out of the backyard. 

“ Good riddance whore.” Kiyana her Melvania whisper and giggle with one of their cousins. Tired of the disrespect, Kiyana turned around to face them. 

“I don’t see how I'm the bad guy in this situation. I had my little fling after your brother had his affair for four months and I still stayed with his ass trying to fix our marriage.” Mel scoffed and shrugged her shoulders. 

“You still cheated on my brother.” Kiyana had to laugh. Because Mel always made excuses for Josh’s and Jon’s behavior. In Mel’s eyes her brothers could do no wrong. 

“After he cheated on me and told the bitch he was planning on divorcing me first!.” Kiyana wanted to smirk at the shocked look on Melvania’s face at the information she just learned. 

“Come on Yana. Let me walk you to your car.” Jon had come over to put out the fire between Kiyana and his sister after seeing his twin stand there and watch the whole thing. 

Kiyana glared at Josh before storming off from the party. “I’m sorry If i ruined the vibe for Jayla’s party. I know alot of your family doesn’t want me around.” Jon only nodded and watched as she got into her car. He felt bad for Kiyana. Most of her second family had turned their back on her because Josh wasn’t telling the whole truth. 

“Listen, you know me and Trin always got your back right.” When Kiyana nodded, Jon continued. “I just don’t think it's a good time to be around right now. Just for the time being.” Kiyana felt her heart drop into her stomach. 

“Wow. You know what..” Kiyana couldn’t even get the words out. Jon had basically just told her to stay away from his family. 

“Kiyana, I’m just saying -” 

“I understand what you’re saying Jonathan.” She said as the tears started coming down her face. “Message received loud and clear.” 

SOOO... first chapter of the sequel... y'all feeling it or nah?

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 

#wwe #jey uso #jey uso x black reader #jey uso imagine #jey uso x reader #wwe x black reader #jey uso fanfic #jey uso fanfiction #jey uso fluff #jey uso angst #jey uso x black oc #jey uso x oc #jey uso x you #jey uso x y/n #wwe x fem reader #wwe x oc #wwe x you #wwe x y/n #wwe x reader #jey uso x fem reader

[at1nys-blog]

Nap time

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x fem!reader

Summary: it doesn’t seem but Zoro is very, very much considerate

Masterlist

Having a low social battery was not something meant for a pirate, but here you were, on a ship living adventures left and right.

Taking naps around the Thousand Sunny was always a quest itself: the girl’s dorm, even tho it was the best option in reality was the worst. Luffy will barge in full force and you would fall from your hammock; Nami’s studio was very not a nice option. Yes, the woman was silent all the times but Sanji was too loud for you, waking up and making you grumpy for the rest of the day; Chopper’s infirmary? To avoid after a huge battle; the deck? Too much chaos; the garden? Unless you wanted to burn under the sun, go ahead, if not, avoid.

The only place that was a safe place was the crow nest. That part of the ship was avoided from everyone thanks to being Zoro’s place to train and nap. Sanji wouldn’t come unless to inform food was ready; Luffy and Usopp had better stuff to do downstairs, you thought they even forgot about it sometimes; Brook and Franky would be too busy with their things; Jimbe, Nami and Robin knew better to not bother you.

After a hot shower, you were ready to go and relax to your new spot. Your body was aching to lay down and sleep, your muscles so relaxed that you didn’t know how you managed to get on top without falling.

Entering the small room you were happy it wasn’t a complete mess, but again it never was when you wanted to go there. This was something that always puzzled you. Knowing Zoro this was out of his character.

You shrugged it off, too tired to think too much about it.

Checking around you found a pile of towels on the desk and you were so glad about it. Taking one, you covered the pillow and after some seconds you were gone into dreamland.

Zoro knew your current position. He had been searching for you around the Thousand Sunny to ask you something, a stupid question to be honest.

“Ohi moss head, have you asked YN what she would like for dinner?” The swordsman only shook his head no, getting a death glare from the blonde pirate. “You forgot didn’t you? Ah I always have to do things myself” before the cook could leave the kitchen Zoro stopped him by gripping the collar of his white shirt.

“I didn’t forget. She is sleeping in the crow nest” he said with his stoic voice. “And honestly, don’t you know what she likes?” The tone was more teasing this time, exposing a sensitive nerve.

Zoro spent the rest of the day training and avoiding people to bother you: he would help out Nami with folding clothes; helping Chopper reorganize his set of new medicines; threaten Usopp and Luffy every time they tried to climb to the crow nest, all this untill he thought you had rested enough to survive dinner.

He climbed up easily, used to do it on a daily basis. Opening the door he tried to be as gently as possible, to not give you a scare. Even his steps are light, something he never imagined was possible for him, but yet, here he was. Walking on eggshells to not scare you.

“Y/N” it was a whisper even if he didn’t mean to, it just came out like that. “Are you still asleep?” You shifted position, still sleeping, he took it as a yes and was going to leave when he noticed you were going to fell anytime soon.

He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t want to wake you up, but he didn’t want you to fall either. He tried is best to move you closer to the wall, but he kinda failed.

“Is dinner ready?” You asked, half asleep. Zoro thought the world stoped for a second, he hated to feel this way when it was about you. He hated how much he cared for you. He hated… “I hope Sanji remembered to not put veggies in my plate” you said standing up.

The swordsman was just able to keep silent, what was he supposed to say? Was he supposed to tell you he remembered the cook what you liked or didn’t like? The man couldn’t say a word no matter how much he tried to.

“Have you recharged or I have to stop…”

“Is okay, don’t scare Luffy away.” You stoped him and left the room before he could ask you if you were sure. “Let’s go.” You added.

Zoro came back to reality after a while, he was not catching feelings, was he? He cares for you as much as he did for the others. Okay maybe he cared a little bit more il for you but just a tiny bit. Just a bit more, maybe. He shook away the thought, following you down on deck. He was totally making sure Luffy wouldn’t bother you too much, that was a fact.

#roronoa zoro #roronoa zoro x reader #roronoa zoro x poc!reader #roronoa zoro x you #roronoa zoro x yn #roronoa zoro x y/n #zoro x reader #zoro x poc!reader #zoro x you #zoro x y/n #zoro x yn #op fanfic #op ff #one piece x reader #one piece x poc!reader #one piece x you #one piece x y/n #one piece x yn #one piece fanfiction #one piece ff #one piece anime #one piece manga

[harlowcomehome]

Our first place:

Series link!

It had been two months since you and Jack had moved in together, and more than half of your things were still in boxes. You were growing increasingly frustrated feeling like you were losing track of what box held specific items.

Your Christmas tree was still up despite it being weeks past and you felt overwhelmed by the disarray of your apartment. Jack wasn’t a slob by any means but he definitely made the place look more “lived in” than you.

You couldn’t blame him for the mess and it wasn’t your fault either, life had been a whirlwind for the both of you. Spending most nights in another state, another hotel, and still trying to have some form of privacy.

Jack had been nominated for two Grammy awards, was featured on the cover of Forbes magazine and was also awarded with hitmaker of tomorrow with Variety.

The celebrations and jet-setting rarely stopped, making your head continuously spin.

Fans grew suspicious of the new woman on his team, suddenly traveling everywhere with him and overanalyzing every glance you’d make at one another. The two of you giggled as you scrolled through Reddit posts and Twitter posts. Never confirming or denying it felt more organic, letting this just be.

The talks of making a big move about going public with your relationship were quickly swept under the rug, and the pressure felt less intense now that you were touring with him and traveling full-time together.

Christmas was hectic, having spent half your time in Kentucky and the other half bringing Jack back home for the first time. It was beyond overwhelming. Your family gravitated toward him and fell in love with him quickly, seeing the glimmer in your eyes as you looked at him was enough for them to know this was in fact the real deal.

However, since getting home from your trip you felt a disconnect between the two of you, an unspoken distance. Neither of you wanted to touch the subject and it was giving you an unfamiliar ache in your chest. You were finally at your breaking point, feeling out of control was never your strong suit.

The front door of your place opened and Jack came barreling inside with Urban, Copelan, and his producer Angel. The three of them bounced final ideas off one another, as you gave them a limp wave and rushed to hide in the bedroom.

Jack immediately sensed your discomfort, leaving the guys to the living room to eat lunch as he followed you into the bedroom, quietly shutting the door behind him.

The sound of your audible sobs stopped him in his tracks, a wave of immediate guilt came over him. The sight of you sitting on the carpeted floor of your walk-in closet broke his heart.

“Fuck- baby. Talk to me” he kneeled, holding you as you cried into his chest. You didn’t know how to begin, or where to start explaining because right now it felt like everything was wrong, every single thing.

You coughed, trying to catch your breath, embarrassed that you had reacted this intensely, embarrassed you now had an audience, and mortified he had to excuse himself to pick up the pieces.

“You’re going to make yourself sick. Let’s try breathing exercises, okay?” He pulled you away to look at you, his blue eyes filled with emotion too. He helped you take deep breaths, sitting with you as you tried to regain composure.

Urban sent him a quick text, letting him know they were leaving to his place that was just down the street, having been able to tell immediately that you were upset.

“After we took that trip to Kentucky, I feel like everything between us has been off. I feel like you’re being distant and the apartment is always in shambles. “ You shrugged trying to hold back tears “I’m overwhelmed and I feel like I’m walking on eggshells because your career is everything to you, and I get that! I do!” Your voice was heightened, growing emotional and defensive again.

He blinked away his instinctive frustrations having heard that last sentence. “My career is important to me. You’re right but it’s not everything. It’s not everything to me. You are, this is” he grabbed your warm hands, kissing them as he held them in his.

“Then talk to me? What’s going on in there?” You sniffled, lightly tapping on his head playfully making the tension dissipate as you both chuckled.

He sat down more comfortably on the ground, leaning against the wall as he motioned for you to come sit with him. You scooted closer as he spread his legs for you to sit between them, facing him.

He was working on becoming more vulnerable, something he found difficult with most people but you made it easier, lighter even.

“This next album is going to change things for us. Being home put a lot into perspective and-“ he sighed, still worried about your reaction to what he wanted to say.

“Talk to me, I’m listening” You brushed his beard with your fingers, comforting him and encouraging him to continue.

“I know we just moved in together, and I know we still haven’t settled in completely so what I want to say sounds selfish and I don’t want you to think that every move we make is because I want to make it” he leaned his head back against the wall behind him.

“You want to move to Kentucky?” You knew he did, without the words being spoken yet. You saw the way he just better fit there, he belonged. Having spent Christmas with his family, seeing how he loved everyone so loudly just made sense.

“I want us to move to Kentucky but I just feel like that’s insane right?” he looked at you with widened eyes, worried you were misunderstanding the direction of the conversation.

“We should move” you smiled, leaning in to give him a soft peck on the lips.

“But what about? And we just-“ he couldn’t finish a complete thought completely taken aback at your response. “I’m sorry, hold on. What the fuck?” He laughed almost uncontrollably making you lean into him and laugh too, eventually leaning your cheek against his chest as he wrapped his arms around you.

“I feel like moving to Kentucky makes the most sense and I want you to be happy” you sighed, pulling back to gauge his response as you searched for emotion in his eyes.

“I don’t want my happiness to mean you’re unhappy” his bottom lip quivered as he tried to bite back a layer of emotion he had been suppressing.

“I think you’ve done all you can do in Atlanta. I know I’ll need to adjust but I can and will- I just want to be where you are” You kissed his slightly pink freckled nose.

“I can probably find someone to cover this lease” he shrugged, thinking about all his connections in Atlanta. “That's not my worry though, sweetheart are we good?” He motioned between the two of you, his main focus.

The pet name “sweetheart” rolled off his tongue naturally as if that was your given name. You nodded, a deep breath of relief escaping the both of you.

“Yes, besides kentucky seems like a good place to raise some kids” you teased knowing he’d like the sound of that as you played with his intertwined fingers.

“Don’t turn me on- i’ll give us one to raise right now” he chuckled knowing there was no truth to it.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep” You rasped as you cupped his face, pressing your soft lips against his. Your tongue was able to slip in, your fingers getting lost in his curls as the intensity heightened, making for a very relieving evening.

#Jack Harlow #Jack Harlow x reader #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow imagines #jack harlow blurb #Jack Harlow fanfic

[seattlesellie]

mirage

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: ellie doesnt like you. she cant. and then she does. but fuck, she cant.

warnings: suggestive themes, cursing, not proofread, lowercase on purpose

authors note: just wrote this on my phone. lil blurb abt ellie and u on a hot summer day and theres nothing i love more than ellie being pissed and reader being a sunshine, literally.

it was a hot, summer day. one of those days where your lips get swollen from the dryness of the air, and your breathing gets heavier with every step you take. the sun was cooking you up, quite literally. you could just feel the stinging pain of the sunburn forming on your shoulders.

what didn’t help this situation was at all was patrol. neither was the fact that your patrol partner was ellie. ellie motherfucking williams. the one girl that made your blood boil, the only person in the world you had to walk on fucking eggshells with, since every word you said, every sentence you formed, seemed to piss her off. she was like a mosquito to you, buzzing in your ear, not letting you sleep, never giving you any peace. was it your sweet voice that made her mad? was it your light steps, compared to her heavy ones? was it maybe the sound of your laughter filling up the room - every time she walked in? you couldn’t quite point your finger at it. something about you ate her up alive, biting forcefully.

“just fucking walk already” she said, dominating as ever. it wasnt her fault the flowers bloomed so beautifully - you had to get another look.

you stared her down, frowning at her demand, still crunched up with your nose deep in the blossom of the white daisies.

“i just wanted to see the fucking flowers, ellie. lighten up, jeez” you said, getting up quickly, trying to hide the fact that you were hurt at her words. it wasnt like you liked her or anything, but something about her made you want, no, need her to accept you. everyone else did. dina fucking loved you from the moment you walked in to jackson, all hurt and disheveled, jesse thought you were the fucking coolest and hell - even joel took a liking to you. everyone but her.

“just be useful for once and walk” she demanded, yet again.

you picked out a small flower, sighing at your patrol partner’s unwanted words.

“we need to clear this house and then you can go flower picking or whatever the fuck” ellie said, rolling her eyes so far back into her head you thought she might have an aneurism. her voice was stinging you harder than a bee.

“fine” you muttered. if you weren’t so small, figuratively speaking, compared to the auburn haired girl, you might have even cussed her out. told her she could go fuck off, do the patrol on her own and abandon you. but you couldn’t, because you were you, and she was ellie, and she always got the last word.

“fine” she spat back, and threw her hand ever so carelessly at the air so you could get the clue and follow her lead.

you followed her, keeping quite a large distance between the two of you. somehow, you swore to god himself, you could feel her. she wasn’t even close to you at that point, and yet her presence was still haunting you in the most physical sense of the word. her steps on the drying leaves - loud, stomping them. mad. her backpack - slamming against her back, making a small thump with every hit.

“could you walk any louder?” you said, raising your voice so she could hear you over the sounds of her own stomps.

“i could, actually” ellie retreated, sarcastic as ever. her voice was dry - was it her annoyance at her inexperienced, ever so easily distracted patrol partner? or was it the hot, dry, summer air bathing in her lungs?

she started purposely stomping even harder, all in order to piss you off. she loved seeing just what made you tick. one step closer to breaking you completely. for some reason - she needed it. needed you to tell her you were done, needed you to tell her to back off, to stop being so fucking mean. but you never did. the why of it all killed her. why didn’t you just put her in her place? why didnt you snap already? and why did she need to know so damn bad?

“real mature” you said, followed by a deep sigh. honestly, you were too busy focusing on how your sweat made your white tank top stick to the bottom of your breasts right now. too busy by your own uncomfortableness to give in to her bickering.

and then - you spotted it. the clear water almost blinding you with the reflection of the glistening sun. a lake. the lake. dina told you all about it, how when you take this patrol road, theres the most beautiful lake hidden by a number of trees. how jesse and her were convinced they were hallucinating as a result of the glaring sun, but when they realized it was real, not some mirage, they ran so fast dina almost tripped on a wire and took a dip, getting lost at the feeling of the cool water against their burning skin.

“ellie!” you shouted with excitement, like a little kid who spotted his favorite gummy at the candy store. when she didnt turn around - pretending to ignore you, you ran so fast to her you practically almost bumped into her back.

“ellie, look!” you exclaimed, pulling at her backpack and physically turning her around. she seemed startled, looking for any signs of danger, ignoring the huge smile on your face that would have pointed to her that the only danger was you.

“what? what?” she said, a bit frantic, already reaching over with her hand to grab her trusty switchblade. infected she could handle - but you and infected? she wasn’t sure she’d be able to pull through.

“the lake!” you were jumping up and down, still holding the back of her backpack, making her move with every leap.

she looked at you with a confused face, eyebrows squint together, her nose slightly scrunched. if you didnt find her so insufferable, you might have even thought that was the cutest face youve ever seen.

“wha…- what lake?” she said, eyes scanning the area. ellie williams - the ever so diligent.

“are you blind? look-“ you said, pointing at a bunch of trees.

“are you okay? are you having a heatstroke?” ellie said, half serious - half amused, looking at you up and down.

“just-“ you said, and grabbed her arm forcefully in order to guide her through. she didnt know if you could feel it, or if she had imagined it, but the contact of your small hand on her wrist made her pulse fasten. or maybe - it was the possibility of danger. she would definitely have preferred the latter. that was her reason to her heart dropping to her boxers. danger, not you. not the touch of the pretty girl, definitely not that.

she let you guide her - while her conflicting thoughts ate her burning skin up.

“faster, ellie c’mon!” you said, panting as you walked faster and faster, dragging the girl behind you.

jesus. those words, coming out of your delicate lips, they arose something in her, yet again. did she wish you said them in a different context? shit up, stupid fucking brain, shut the fuck up. the green eyed girl thought to herself. not her.

“i swear to god - if youre trying to kill me or something, ill fucking stab you” she said, still following your lead.

“you would be dead” you extorted back, with a stupid grin on your face you were grateful she didn’t catch. as if.

finally, you were there. you weren’t hallucinating, this was a fucking lake. and if you weren’t with that certain auburn haired girl, you would have taken all your clothes off and jumped right in. gosh, it was so fucking tempting.

“ta da!” you said, beaming, borderline salivating at the thought of the cool clear water caressing your skin.

“no” she deadpanned and walked away slowly, eyes glued to the lake, and then to you.

“i’m not doing that” ellie said.

“what? you cant swim?” you said, poking at her shoulder.

playful. you were being playful. and she didn’t know how to fucking react.

“i can fucking swim” she said with a sigh, hand forming a fist. what an grumpy toddler you thought to yourself.

“were on fucking patrol, y/n, i’m not going in” she said, certain of herself. she wasn’t supposed to lose control around you.

“suit yourself, williams, i’m taking a dip” you said with a sly smile, batting your eyelashes sarcastically at the girl. she let out a small chuckle, and then coughed.

she doesn’t get to have you like this, ellie, get it fucking together.

and then, without warning - you started stripping, desperately trying to get the sticky fabric away from you.

“jesus” she said with a loud voice, panicked look on her face - as if she walked in on someone doing the wrong thing. her eyes were flickering over everything that wasnt you. the tree, the ground, her feet, the lake. she could have turned around, she knew she could. but that wouldve made it even weirder.

first - it was your tank top. and then - your pants. and stupidly enough, you thought you could make her laugh. so what you did - was starting to unclasp your delicate pink bra, almost taking it off.

“what the fuck?!” ellie panicked again, and this time - she turned. it wasn’t because she didnt want to see, she didnt want you to see. her face was burning up - cheeks red as a rose.

“i’m fucking kidding, jesus ellie - i wasn’t gonna skinny dip… not with you around, anyways”

the joke landed terribly. ellie didnt find you stripping in front of her to be funny - it was anything but.

you kicked the sand under your shoes, awkwardness sending a shiver down your spine. you started fighting with your bra, trying to clasp in back on, but your clumsy hands, and the fact that you had your underboob on display in front of ellie made your hands shake even more. what the fucking hell were you thinking.

“fuck” you murmured, followed by a bunch of annoyed grunting at your failed attempt to clasp it back on,

“shit!” you were full on battling with it now.

ellie was just there. standing still, fidgeting with her hands.

“help me?” you said in a quite voice, shameful.

she let out a breathy laugh followed by an “ahh”

“fuck you, fix your own mess” she chuckled to herself.

got you.

“s’not funny, i cant do it!” you said, visibly frustrated.

“nope” she said, popping the p. she sounded so fucking satisfied with herself.

“fix your own mess” you mimicked, mocking her with a high pitched voice.

“did you just fucking mock me?” that was the last straw. she turned around, crossing her hands, still somehow trying to avoid your gaze. she was in her element now. and the element was anger. embarrassment, awkwardness, she couldn’t do - not anymore. but anger? that was her.

you were still fidgeting with your stupid bra, but somehow managed to keep your tits from spilling out.

“help. me.” you demanded, shooting arrows at her with your gaze.

“beg.” she extorted, eyes filled with pride. she couldn’t let that one go.

“pfft” you rolled your eyes- trying to ignore the butterflies creeping up on you. why did she make you feel like this?

“never” you said, trying to keep your composure, hands flailing behind you.

she walked towards you, slowly, like an animal who found her prey. she was a lion - you, a lamb. a half naked one.

she got even closer.

“then i’m not helping” she said, ever so casually. her her eyes - everything but casual.

part 2?

#ellie williams #the last of us #ellie x reader #ellie williams smut #tlou #wlw #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams x you #lesbian #wlw fanfiction #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams x female reader #fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #tlou x reader

[ghostfacd]

EVEN AT THEIR WORST, THEY KNOW THEY’LL STILL BE OKAY — LUKE HUGHES

— “HE HATES IT WHEN SHE’S CRYING, HE HATES WHEN SHE’S AWAY.”

pairing; slytherin!luke x hufflepuff!fem!reader

summary; in which you’re the only one that can see right through luke’s exterior

genre; angst, fluff, hurt to comfort, blackcat!bf luke, golden retriever!gf reader, hogwarts!au

warnings; cursing, mentions of sex (hooking up), rude comments made towards luke and yn, underage drinking

PART 1 | ✸ SLYTHERIN!LUKE MASTERLIST

listen to this for a better reading experience!

To say you were a mess after the breakup was an understatement. Your friends felt like they were walking on eggshells, every little thing they say would somehow remind you of Luke, making you cry even harder as your face is buried into a tear stained pillow.

“You have to get up you know,” Kielle says as she throws Luke’s robe towards him, “cmon Luke, you’re one of my best friends, I can’t let you keep missing classes.”

Kielle Waterstone—or who Luke refers to as Kie and Ell. She was in the same year as you and Luke, and had been one of Luke’s closest friends besides Mark and his brother, Quinn. They were like brother and sister, always teasing each other out of love.

“Kie, please leave me alone,” Luke groans into his pillow.

“Hey, no!” Kielle takes one of Luke’s other pillows, hitting the boy repeatedly. “Get up now! I did not walk all the way to the boys dorm to have you quit on me again,”

Luke finally pops his head up from his pillow. His eyes were bloodshot, and his curls were sticking out all over the place.

“Oh Luke,” Kielle pulls the boy into her arms, making him let out a small cry. She was the only person he could be emotional with other than you. “I know it was a hard decision for you, I know it’s taking a toll on you, but you can’t keep missing classes. Your grades are gonna go down, and we have exams soon.”

“You’re right,” Luke sniffles, “I shouldn’t even be mopping, I made this decision. I chose this for myself.”

“It’s alright to make the right decisions and feel shit about making them,” Kielle pulls apart from the hug to cup Luke’s face into her hands, “hey, no more of the crying okay Hughes? You’re gonna be okay, you have me, Mark, and Quinn by your side. Slytherins have to stick with Slytherins, you know?”

“But was it the right decision?”

Luke frowns, thinking about your heartbroken face the night of the Yule Ball, the night where he had officially ended things. It had been two weeks, though it felt like years for him. He had been locked away in his dorm, wondering if you were suffering just as much as he was.

“Only time will tell Lu.” Kielle helps pull the boy up, fixing his bed. “Go brush your teeth and take a shower. I’ll tidy up your room for you.”

Luke nods, silently thanking Kielle for being there for him. She had helped him through the roughest of times during these 2 weeks, and he couldn’t be more grateful for her support. In some ways, Luke thinks they’re platonic soulmates.

Luke walks out of the bathroom after blow drying his hair. He finally feels alive after the cold shower, he swore he had died the night you two broke up.

“Great, now get dressed.” Kielle throws his green robe at him, “I’ll be in the dining hall getting breakfast, me and Mark will save you a seat.”

Luke nods, putting on his robe and fixing his tie.

“Oh, by the way,” Kielle gives him a small box, one that he recognizes far too quickly. “Uhm, YN wanted me to return this to you. I’m sorry Luke.”

It was the same box that he had given you for your 1 month anniversary. Inside was your promise ring, shiny with Luke + YN engraved into it.

He didn’t want to go back to class, especially Potions since you two shared that period. But he has to eventually, he knows. He can’t just stop prioritizing his grades because of some breakup. Even though the breakup quite literally felt like his world ended right in front of him.

He feels like he’s gonna throw up when he enters Potion. You’re there with Annie, your partner, as always. Your eyes look tired, dark eye bags had already formed under them.

He wanted to go hug you, tell you that everything is alright, but he can’t do any of those things. You weren’t his anymore, and he wasn’t yours.

“Mr. Hughes, it’s great to finally have you back in class.”

Luke nods, taking a seat next to Teddy Wellings, who shyly waves at him. Teddy doesn’t want to do anything to set off the boy, so he keeps silent throughout the entire class.

During his time in Potions, he had heard whispers across the room.

“Did you hear? Luke hasn’t been attending class because him and YN broke up,”

“Really? Huh, no wonder. I knew they weren’t gonna to last anyway,”

“I know right! I mean cmon, Slytherin and Hufflepuff? That relationship was doomed from the start,”

“Hey,” Mark says sternly at the people who were whispering about his best friend, “you better watch your mouths. None of you know what really happened so shut the fuck up,”

“Fine, geez.”

“Professor?” Luke raises his hands, making the entire class eye him, including you.

“Yes Mr. Hughes?”

“May I use the restroom?”

“Go ahead.”

Luke makes his way out of class quickly, finding the nearest boys bathroom. When he finds an empty stall, he finally loses it.

He throws up, eyes shutting in pain. He had never felt so gross up until now.

- -

“Luke,” Jack approaches him after all of their classes were done. “I know something that will cheer you up, there’s a party tonight in Ravenclaw.”

Luke’s eyes are blank as usual, not really taking in his older brother’s words. All he heard was party, tonight, and Ravenclaw.

Maybe Jack was right. Maybe a party was just what Luke needed to get over you. So as stupid as it sounds, he goes.

“Luke?” Mark takes a seat next to the boy, who was currently drinking out of his red solo cup. “Didn’t expect you to be here.”

“I gotta move on somehow, right?” He jokes, clearly drunk. “Where’s Kielle and Quinn?”

“Quinn’s in one of the dorms doing karaoke with some random Ravenclaws. He’s a weird drunk.”

That makes Luke let out a snort. Of course one of his brothers would be doing something stupid.

“And Kielle—oh! Hey Kielle!” Mark waves the girl excitedly over. “Hey Kiels.”

“Hi Marky,” Kielle makes herself comfortable between the two boys. “Hi Luke. Surprised to see you here.”

“That’s what I said!”

“But we’re happy you are,” Kielle smiles, “it’s good to see you not sad and gloomy you know? I’m glad you’re doing better now.”

“Yeah,” Luke lets out a small grin. He felt the alcohol in his system take over.

“Hey Kie?” He says before he can think.

“Yes Luke?”

She turns around to give him her full attention, and Luke can’t help but lean in, closing the gap between their lips.

“Holy shit!” Mark gasps. “My two best buddies getting at it?”

Luke doesn’t know that you were currently at the party, after your friends had practically begged you to let loose after the breakup.

You stop dead in your tracks when you see Luke and Kielle kissing, your heart automatically breaks more than it already had.

“What’s wrong YN?” Your friend asks as she tries to look where you’re staring. When she finally sets her eyes on the scene, her mouth drops. “Cmon YN, he isn’t worth it,”

She takes you in her arms, far away from Luke. Suddenly, all your emotions feel like they’re going to burst, and you cry right at the spot.

“I’m sorry,” your friend mumbles guiltily, “I didn’t know he would be here.”

“It’s fine,” you sob, “it’s fine.”

It wasn’t, clearly.

Luke finally pulls away from the kiss, his cheeks flushed deep red.

“Holy shit,” he mumbles, wiping his lips. “Sorry Kie, I don’t know what has gotten into me,”

“No worries,” she laughs, “just to be clear, this isn’t going to change our dynamic right?”

“No—of course not.” Luke sighs, “it was just the alcohol. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay Luke,” Kielle pats him on the back comfortingly, “don’t worry about it. I know you still have feelings for YN.”

He does. And he hates that he does.

- -

“Hey man, you’re gonna go to Quidditch practice today right?” Quinn asks the next day after school, placing his broom next to his side.

“Yeah,” Luke mumbles, “coach must be mad at me huh?”

“Sorta? We told him you came down with a flu. But he’ll be happy you’re back. Slytherin needs their star player after all.”

Luke finally smiles for the first time since the breakup. If the party wasn’t going to get his mind off you, maybe playing Quidditch will.

“Hope you’re not hungover, we have a game tonight so you need to practice as much as you can,” Mark says, showing up to Luke’s other side. “You ready Lukey?”

“Don’t call me that,” Luke rolls his eyes, “but yeah. Feels good to be back.. I guess.”

That night, Slytherin went against Gryffindor. Luke gulped nervously. He had always been so confident in Quidditch, never once flattering. But tonight was different; tonight, you wouldn’t be in the crowd, cheering him on as you always did. Tonight, Luke would feel the loss of your presence even more than he had before.

He still didn’t know you saw the kiss between him and Kielle. He had brushed off the kiss as absolutely nothing but alcohol in his system. He didn’t see Kielle like that, not romantically. He saw her as his best friend and sister. And Kielle saw him as her brother. They both had agreed to never speak of the kiss again.

“Alright guys, good luck!” Quinn says as the Slytherin teams huddle together, “Go Slytherin!”

“Go Slytherin!” All the teammates said, tapping their brooms together.

As soon as Luke was up in the air, his eyes focused on the snitch. It was quick, moving far away from his sight. He rushed after it, the Ravenclaw seeker right at his back.

“Hey, heard you broke up with your girl and then got with Kielle right after,” the Ravenclaw shouts from behind him. “Were they both good fucks, Luke?”

Luke’s jaw clenches. That asshole had some nerve to talk about you and his best friend that way.

“You don’t know shit,” Luke yells back, broom flying down to where the snitch was heading.

“Oh yeah? You gave us quite a show yesterday at the party. Did you see YN walk out crying? Think that was all your fault, mate.”

The Ravenclaw quickly catches up to Luke, now being side to side in the cold air. He suddenly slams his side into Luke’s, making the Slytherin lose his balance.

For the first time since his first year, Luke falls off from the broom, hitting the ground with a harsh thump!

“And Luke Hughes from Slytherin is down!” The announcer yells.

Luke groans as he tries to lift himself off the ground. He looks up to see the Ravenclaw seeker smirk at him, before flying past to follow the snitch.

“That cheating bitch,” Luke mumbles under his breath, getting up and wiping the sand away from his uniform.

You were in the crowd and had seen the entire thing play out. Even though you were upset with Luke for breaking up with you and then kissing another girl just weeks after; you still cared deeply for him. You were beyond worried seeing him fall to the ground mid game.

“Don’t do it,” your friend warns you after the game, knowing you were going straight to Luke. “YN, he kissed another girl at a party like you were nothing.”

“But he’s hurt,” you say, “I’m sorry Mary, but I have to go to him.”

She doesn’t stop you, understanding your point of view. She knew you loved him deeply, she had spent many nights holding you as you cried your heart out, asking her what you did wrong in the relationship for Luke to leave like that.

“Luke.” Your voice calls out to him as he makes his way to the locker room. He was angry at himself, angry that he let some stupid Ravenclaw stop him from playing further and that Slytherin had lost.

When you approach him, he feels deja vu. But he knows he can’t walk away, that wouldn’t be fair to you.

“Luke, are you alright? I saw everything,”

“I’m fine,” he says, looking straight into your eyes.

“Oh okay,” you mumble quietly. You look down, eyes filling with tears again. It felt so strange talking to him like this—like you weren’t just in love with each other a few weeks ago.

Luke takes notice of your body language, realizing straight away that you were tearing up. He hated seeing you cry, and he hated being the cause of it even more.

“I guess I’ll go then,” you say, wiping your eyes as you retreat your bag from the ground.

“Wait..” Luke says. He pulls you back by your arm, slightly cringing. He never thought in his life that he would be doing something like this.

“I’m sorry,” he looks anywhere but at you, “I miss you YN, a lot. I hope you’re doing okay, and I’m really sorry we ended the way we did.”

Your tears that had stopped before suddenly began to stream down your face again. “I miss you too Luke.”

He pulls you in for a hug, one that is so tight because the both of you are scared to let go again.

“Luke, please get back together with me. I can’t handle us being apart, especially because of stupid comments made by people.”

Luke places his chin on your head, rubbing your back comfortingly. You were probably wetting his uniform with your mascara and tears, but he couldn’t care less at the moment.

“I’m sorry for making you feel like shit lovie,” Luke mumbles, “I’m so fucking sorry. I never wanted to break up with you, I thought I would be saving us both the heartbreak. I thought that I could never be enough for you. I was idiotic to let you go like that.”

You pull away from the hug to look at Luke. His eyes were glossy, and his eyes were filled with sadness.

“I want us back,” you say, “I don’t care about anyone but you, Luke. I don’t give a shit about what they say, as long as you’re mine again,”

Luke leans in to give you a kiss, one that is so passionate and genuine. It isn’t filled with lust, instead, filled with longing and love.

“YN L/N, will you be my girlfriend again?” Luke says while he’s crying.

You laugh, crying just as much as he is. “Yes Luke, I’ll always say yes.”

He pulls you back into a hug again, right hand on your head as his left is wrapped around your waist.

“You know that Ravenclaw was talking about you during the game? I’m gonna fucking kill him,” he mumbles into your hair.

You giggle. “Alright Lukey, you go do that.”

God, he’s so relieved to have you back in his arms again.

#wow this one was a lot. #slytherin!luke (ghostfacd version) #luke hughes #luke hughes imagine #luke hughes x y/n #luke hughes fic #luke hughes fluff #luke hughes x reader #jack hughes #quinn hughes #mark estapa #umich fic #umich blurbs #umich imagine #nhl x reader #nhl x you #luke hughes imagines #umich hockey #jack hughes x y/n #quinn hughes x reader #nhl fanfiction #nhl fic #nhl fluff

[ourautumn86]

scary love

abby anderson x fem! reader

synopsis; love is scary. and you try to run away. but abby is there when you come back, ready to hunt you down.

cw; 18+ content, minors dni! mentions of death, fighting, wounds, blood, stitches, consumption of alcohol and drugs (weed), jealousy, possessiveness, hickeys, arguing, weapons, reader is older than abby for 7 years (she took her in after the hospital), abby being a brat and reader not having it, masturbation (abby), cursing, hair pulling, kinda enemies to lovers (their relationships is difficult), teasing, praising, fingering (r receiving), hair pulling, heavy make out, tit play, tit sucking, oral sex (r receiving), scissoring, multiple orgasms…

REMINDER: english is not my mother language so i apologize if there are some mistakes <3 !¡ either ways, i hope y’all like it. <3

REPOSTS AND COMMENTS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!

-

you and abby had a hard time…, being nice to each other.

it was always bickering in between the two of you, screaming, fighting…

you were her mentor. or at least her boss. she was younger than you. 7 years to be exact.

you thought it would be easy. they had asked you to train a kid. keep her under control. but she was a fucking nightmare. you knew this world was hard. but abby was a 14 year old girl when she lost her only family. her father. and she was ready to break everything. destroy everything. that year was surely the worse. or so you thought. ‘cause it only got harder.

at 17 she was sneaking out of your apartment late at night. you made her believe that you didn’t know, until one night she returned fucking wasted and made a little bit too much noise.

“seriously, abby?” you inquired her, and she scoffed.

“what?”

“what?! we have a mission in two hours and you are fucking wasted.” she rolled her eyes and that’s when you saw it. “are you high?!” you couldn’t believe it. even less the hickeys decorating her neck. “jesus christ.” she pushed you away when you tried to take a look at them.

“what. jealous your little boyfriend doesn’t fuck you enough?” she sarcastically smirked and your cheeks blushed red in anger.

“the fuck did you just said?” you inquired, stepping closer, your blood boiling.

“always a fucking mood killer. poor stuck up just needs a good fuck, but her boyfriend can’t even make her cum, isn’t that right?” next thing you knew? your knuckles were burning up, and you had punched her, breaking her lip and painting her skin in red. droplets of her blood fell onto the floor, and you were breathing heavy.

“don’t you dare show up for the mission.” you said before leaving, taking your bag with you. you were out for 2 days.

and abby had to sit quiet and nice through the night you came back inside her room, trying to ignore the moans coming from your own, the grunts and the sound of skin against skin. it seemed to be that you had broken up with your boyfriend and had followed her advise to get a good fuck. and it seemed like you did, ‘cause your screams only got louder through the hours. by the time you had kicked the guy out, she had run out of weed, and she had drank half a bottle of whiskey all by herself.

she just wished it could be her.

at 18, she wouldn’t stop snapping at you. it was like walking on eggshells every time you’d go around her. one wrong move and you two would be sent overdrive.

“you are out.” you said, and she scoffed, cleaning the blood out of her knuckles.

“out?”

“i don’t know what the fuck is your problem. but i don’t want you beating someone up just because you feel like it.”

“ ‘feel like it’? you heard what he said. he was the one that started it.” she got up from her seat, stepping closer. she had a bruise on her cheek, and a cut on her eyebrow.

“i don’t want to see you at the training ring until monday.” you said, and her jaw clenched.

“what if i don’t want to?” her breath was hitting your skin, and her hand was now planted next to your face against the wall you were leaning in. you squinted your eyes.

“you wanna find out?” you inquired, nice and low. there were no emotions showing on your face. you were serious. and abby knew. abby knew she shouldn’t. but she wanted.

her blue eyes trailed around your face, falling onto your lips. she needed it.

“you gonna show me?” the tension between the two of you was about to explode, your bodies were ready to swing, and your blood was pumping louder in adrenaline. rage was pooling on your stomach, and in a short breath, you gave her one last chance.

“know your fucking place.” you advised, word by word.

she took a deep breath in. and after seconds that felt a little bit too long, stepped back, locking herself in her room.

she waited, just long enough to hear you getting out your apartment to pull down her jeans and underwear, slick connecting the last pair to her throbbing cunt. she groaned when her fingers found her clit, and later on pushed inside her wet warm walls.

“fuck.”

and she knew she shouldn’t. but she imagined what would have happened if she had taken the chance and jumped. ‘cause she knew were her place was. and it was in between your legs.

today, at her 20 years old, it was no different.

“and i said i could do it. alone!” she said, and you rolled your eyes as you limped towards a chair, grabbing your oozing side. it was just a scratch.

“oh yeah? as if you didn’t almost die out there!“ you scoffed. “fuck off, abby. you’re giving me a migraine.” you said, taking out your backpack some gauze and alcohol. maybe you’d need a couple of stitches.

a group of bandits had attacked your group on one of the routes you used to get some food, and you’d gotten injured by one of them when you’d had to step in to cover her back. you had taken that dagger straight to the gut for her. and she was just acting as always… as a fucking cunt.

she gritted her teeth and threw her backpack to the floor. she was bathed in blood, and her blonde hair was sticking to her sweaty skin.

“stop fucking doing that!” she screamed, and you looked at her with a pissed off face.

“what.”

“treating me as if i were a fucking child! i’m 20 years old. i know how to protect myself. i know how to fight! i don’t need you to protect me!” you scoffed and got up, a groan falling from your lips as you harshly grabbed her hand. “what-?” you looked her straight in the eyes as you pressed her hand against your stomach, only this time, you’d handed her a knife.

“you want me to stop treating you like a child?” you inquired, defiance in your voice. she might be taller, and had more muscle than you, but you were older, and stronger than her. “then kill me.” you said. “show me that you don’t need me anymore. that you can survive without me. and then i will stop treating you like a kid.” you whispered mere inches away from her face, tugging on her wrist to make the blade dig just the slightest into your skin. she looked at you. “do it!” you spat, but she just…couldn’t.

you pushed her away, and took the knife from her, harshly digging it into the wooden table by your side.

“you’re weak.” you said, and her jaw clenched, her hands fisted. “and you know what happens to weak people, abby?” you looked at her, and her blue eyes, and her soft white skin, and her blonde braided hair… “they die.”

she took a sharp inhale.

“i’m not weak.” she said.

“oh, but you are… you couldn’t kill me when i asked you to. you had a knife, and i was wounded and giving you, as you boss, an order and you didn’t follow it!” you screamed, and her chest took in a deep breath. “you’d be dead if it had been another person but me!”

“it won’t happen again.” she said.

“yes it will. like it always does. ‘cause you never follow my orders!”

“no. it won’t!“

“oh yeah? and why is that, hm?”

“because they are not you!” she yelled, and your eyes shot open at her words. “i can’t kill you because you’re you. i will kill anyone but you.”

she was stepping closer, and you looked at her.

“and if that makes me weak… if being weak means wanting to protect you. then i guess i am weak.”

she was awkward, but sincere, she looked flushed, cheeks reddish, body shifting non-stop. she was nervous. but fuck. that wasn’t her heart beating. the quickened heartbeat that you were hearing was your own.

“abby.” you cut her off, stepping backwards. away from her.

“no.” she said. “i’m not finished.” she said, and took another step closer, slowly caging you against the table. oh shit. was she always this tall? was she always this intimidating?

“but you’re. i don’t wanna hear it.” you said, and tried to leave her side, but she caught your wrist.

“you don’t wanna hear what exactly? the fact that i’m unable to kill you? or the fact that i can’t because i love you?” you breath hitched, and your heart stopped. your body froze. your mind was screaming. no. nononononono….

“leave.” the words that left your lips cracked her chest open. your touch was leaving her as you tugged from your hand, your back facing her.

“what?” she muttered, begging to have heard wrong. her heart was about to shatter.

“leave.” you repeated, this time harsher. you weren’t looking at her. you couldn’t look at her.

“but y/n…” she tried and touch you again, to get you to look at her. anything.

“i said. leave.” you said one last time, and you fisted your hands to hide their shaking.

she stepped backwards, looking at you, at your messy hair, at the roughness of your eyes —trying to hide something she wouldn’t, shouldn’t know—, at your tense shoulders… it was like a wall. and she couldn’t hit the brakes.

you didn’t know how much it took. how much she stood there, silently begging for you to not leave. to not push her out of your life, before she went out your door and left you there, alone.

you fell back onto the chair. and took the needle to stitch yourself up. it were the worst stitches you had ever done, cause your hand was shaking too much, and you were sure they’d probably leave a nasty scar, a mark that would never go away. it will stain you forever. just like abby had. just like she always will.

-

days went by in which you had gone away out borders to find some new food and supplies. the first ever mission that you had went through without abby. in years.

suddenly having you gone was leaving her exposed. exposed to feelings she didn’t wanna feel.

“fuck off owen. i’m not in the mood for your bullshit.” she spat when he saw his friend take a seat beside her. she was bouncing her leg up and down like crazy, and her whole body seemed tense. she had trained. she had broken her knuckles beating up a punching bag. drowned two glasses of whiskey. she had even went out for a goddamn walk to try and calm down. relax. nothing had helped. nothing helps. she was going overdrive. just like she had all those years ago before she had met you, before you had cleaned the blood out of her hands. it was as if… no. she knew you were the only thing that could make her breathe. and you were not there. and she was frustratedly. ‘cause fuck. she had told you she loved you and you had kicked her out and ran.

she had fucked up. that seemed to be the only thing she knew how to do when she was around you.

“woah. chill abs. just wanted to check on you. you’re not looking okay.” he was worried. she couldn’t care enough in that moment.

“maybe that’s because i’m not fucking okay.” she said, and owen simply took a deep breath.

“what happened?” he already knew. he already seemed to know what was the reason why she was feeling that way. you.

“i told her i love her.” owen’s eyes widened. woah. this was… unexpected. sure. owen knew that abby liked you. she had for years. but he never expected that the day she’d tell you would come so soon. “she kicked me out and left me behind the next morning.” she sighed and owen looked at her. “and now i feel like i’m going insane. she’s all i have. she was the only one there for me when my father…” she sat up. “i need her owen. and every second that i spend away from her i feel like dying.” she sighed, and left her seat, pacing around unable to sit still.

owen was silently listening. abby never opened up. to anyone. not even you about how she truly felt sometimes. how she felt about you. so this was something new. something owen was grateful to see.

“is this… is this love or am i going mad?” she let out a sarcastic laughter.

“aren’t they the same thing?” he muttered, looking at her and abby groaned.

“i can’t breathe.” she was freaking out. “i can’t think.” “everything is her. i’m terrified.” owen smiled at her and got up to face her.

“you should be. have you seen y/n?” that made abby chuckle, rolling her eyes at the teasing. “but abby… it’s okay to be scared. love scares people. and you love her.”

“yeah…” she sighed. “i do.”

-

next time she saw you was when you came back to your apartment. it was really late. so late that it was completely pitch black outside doors.

“what are you doing here?” you inquired as you closed the door behind your back, throwing your backpack onto the floor.

she was sitting on a chair, cleaning a gun on your table, legs spread and wide tilted towards the door.

“waiting for you to come back after having left me fucking behind.” she simply answered, and her arms crossed over her chest, muscles showing.

you scoffed. “sorry. i didn’t know you had to come with me everywhere.” you sarcastically said and she sighed.

“are you pushing me aside because of what i said?” she inquired, and you stiffened.

“abby-“

“because i said that i love you?” she sat up, and stepped closer.

“stop.” you ordered, and she only got closer.

“no. you left me behind. you left me here.” she said, stepping closer to you. “and for days i couldn’t think. i couldn’t breathe without thinking about you, couldn’t sleep without dreaming about you. i can’t stop, because i love you, and i’ve loved you for years.”

“you can’t.” you said, stepping backwards to try and scape from her. it was like for the first time in your life you didn’t have the control. that you were the prey instead of the hunter. “you can’t love me.” you said. “you can’t…” you whispered, looking into her eyes. “ ‘cause if you love me… then i could lose you. and i can’t lose you. anyone but you…” she looked at you, and in a quick flex of her arms she had pinned you to the wall. you only could let out a surprise gasp before she was kissing you, groaning against your mouth, one of her legs being pushed in between your legs.

“tell me to stop. tell me that you don’t feel the way i do.” she muttered against your lips, and you moaned, roughly tugging from her hair to pull her closer. her hands gripped your hips, so hard you were sure it would leave marks, but you couldn’t care. she tugged from your thighs so your legs could surround her waist, crushing you against the wall.

“shit, abby.” you moaned, grip tightening when she sucked on your neck, leaving marks.

“i love you so fucking much, fuck, been dreaming about this since i was fucking sixteen.” she grunted, and you whimpered. she was quick to carry you to bed, kissing you needly and hurriedly pushing your shirt over your head, leaving your chest exposed to her hungry eyes. “so perfect…” your back arched when her big hands harshly cupped your tits, playing with your nipples before sucking your left into her mouth. her now free hand pushed inside your pants and into your underwear. “you’re soaked.” she smirked, and you groaned.

“shut the fuck up.” you said before pulling from her to kiss her again and pulling at her shirt, leaving her in a white sports bra. her toned arms, shoulders and stomach were now in full display, and you couldn’t help but stare. you moaned when her middle finger slid in, her other hand exasperatedly trying to rid you of your pants and underwear. you had to help her before she’d rip them, whimpering when she suddenly thrusted with her finger deeper, hitting a spot that made you clench. “abby!” you screamed her name when you felt her tongue against your clit, her lips sucking on it as she groaned, her free arm surrounding your thigh to pull you closer and flush against her face.

“so fucking sweet… been wanting to eat your pussy for years.” you cheeks burned at her words. so dirty and blunt. it made you squirm. “listen to her. so ready for me and my fingers. poor thing… she’s sucking me right in.” she cooed and you whimpered, making her smirk. her finger left you to make place for her tongue, who fucked you with large deep strokes that left you shaking under her hands. she kept you pinned against the bed, devouring you like a woman starved and making you cry out her name as you pulled from her hair. shit. she looked so fucking pretty in between your legs…

your thighs trembled when this time, two of her large and thick finger pushed inside, making you moan at the stretch. her lips latched to your clit as she started to harshly fuck them into you, curling them to hit your g spot and make you cry. your breath hitched, and you felt your orgasm bubbling on your stomach with every new thrust. “abby, i’m gonna cum…” you whined, and she only sped up her movements, sucking harder, curling her fingers quicker. “abby, fuck!” you screamed as you came, your cum coating her fingers as she fucked you through it. you whimpered when her tongue lapped at every little bit that you gave her, sucking her fingers clean to fuck the last drops of your cum out of your cunt with her tongue.

you laid there, hearing the wet sounds that her tongue made against your pussy, the hum that she let out at your taste.

she left a little peck on your clit before pulling away, licking her lips, which were shining with your juices —along with her chin—.

you looked at her from below, stared at the patch of hair that covered her mound when she got rid of her own pants and underwear, stared at her beautiful breasts when she took off her sports bra… she was completely exposed for you. and you only could tug her closer to kiss her. pushing you tongue inside her mouth to taste yourself off of her lips. she moaned, and pulled from your hips to push one of her thighs over your leg to grind her pussy down on yours. you two let out a groan at the first contact. slick against slick, clit brushing against clit. it sent shivers down your spine.

“fuck. you feel so good…” she grunted, thrusting against your cunt and making you whimper.

“abby don’t stop…” you begged, and she thrusted again.

“never. fuck. you’re mine now. fucking mine.” you moaned, nodding, begging her to go harder. and she did. you two humped each others pussies in need, kissing, cursing, moaning… the room was filled with the wet squelches of your slicks. your clit was throbbing with the overstimulation, but it hurt so good it was making you go insane. watching abby fuck you, groan and pant was making your head feel dizzy. you whimpered and your back arched when she rubbed your clits together, pushing against the edge of another orgasm. you could feel it creeping up your spine, ready to take over your body. “aw, you gonna cum baby? you gonna give me another one?”

baby, baby, baby, baby….

“yes, fuck, abby, please…” you begged, pulling her closer, harder against you until your eyes were rolling to the back of your head and you were screaming as you came all over her cunt. she groaned, thrusting one, two, three more times against you before coming with a grunt, the feeling of your arousal together making her head feel fuzzy.

she held you against her chest as she laid beside you, one of her hands rubbing circles on the naked skin of your hips.

“abby?” you muttered, and she looked at you.

“what is it?”

“i love you too.” you said, and she smiled, her heart jumping inside her chest, hugging you harder, her lips pressing against your forehead. you looked beautiful. and finally, you were completely hers.

-

a/n; kinda love this one

abby anderson masterlist! <3

xxx

#abby anderson #abby tlou #abby anderson x reader #abby the last of us #abby anderson fluff #abby anderson x fem! reader #abby x reader #abby anderson x fem!reader #abby anderson smut #tlou fluff #tlou fanfiction #tlou part 2 #tlou imagine #tlou fic #tlou #tlou smut #tlou2

[smoooothoperator]

untouchable

09: Adore You

Lando Norris x OC (Violet Sinclair)

same group friend, unrequited love, acquittances to lovers, ski trip, love triangle

Words: 4.1k

Warnings: fluff, smut (+18), period

a/n: cute things happening and more things to come!

Masterlist

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Being with them was easy. I feel like a completely different person when I'm with them. I don't have to walk around eggshells, hiding my own person and doing whatever they tell me to do. With them it's easy to talk, to be myself.

Pietra is someone I can trust, someone that wants to listen to whatever I talk about and is always there when I need her. Max is someone that makes me laugh and smile, that will always tease me to prove me I can do things on my own. And Landon… Lando is starting to be my favorite person in this world.

He's the first thing I see when I wake up the last few days, the one that smiles when I walk inside a room and the first one to stand up whenever I ask for help. 

The week in the snow was ending, and the last day we wanted to spend it with the four of us in the house, making a fire on the balcony just to burn marshmallows. 

During the last few days, Lando and I got closer. Really close. And instead of worrying me, I just let it be. We kissed when we were alone, cuddled and slept in the same bed at night. I let him hold me when we were out having fun in the snow. And everything was magical.

But as days were passing, my anxiety started to grow even more. Deep inside me there was a voice that reminded me that I had to go back to reality, as well as Lando. We have responsibilities and work to do. We have our families and even if I started to get used to having him beside me every minute of the day, I knew that it was only because we were here.

“What are you guys going to do once we arrive home?” I dared to ask, watching how the white marshmallow started to get toasted.

“Well, we have to film things for Quadrant” Lando nodded next to me. 

“Oh, right” Max nodded. “We have to go to Sweden and then go back to London”

“Yeah, five busy days of filming” Lando smiled proudly. “It will be exciting”

“And you?” Pietra asked, leaning on her boyfriend and looking at me.

“I guess I'll study and work” I smiled, shrugging my shoulders. 

“And your parents?” Lando frowned. 

“Yeah, they are still on that cruise trip” I sighed. 

I heard Lando sigh, rubbing my back softly making me smile weakly at him. I didn't want to talk about it, about how my parents decided to not be with me during my time off of school, about how they forgot my birthday and about them making me stay alone at home during holidays.

When the marshmallows ended we decided to go back inside, getting ready to go to bed. But I didn't want to, not now. I just want to stay a little longer.

“You'll get cold, Violet” I heard Lando, coming back to the balcony. Seconds later I saw him standing next to me with a blanket in his hands.

“I don't want to leave” I sighed, patting the seat next to mine, asking him silently to sit next to me. “I don't want to go back home, to be alone”

“Why don't you come with me, hm?” he whispered, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me closer. “It will be fun”

“But you have to work, Lando” I sighed, and stayed quiet for a few seconds. “I just… I'm scared of going back home and realizing that everything that happened here was just to have fun”

“No, hey” he frowned. “None of this was for fun. You and I, us. It wasn't for fun. I want to be able to call you mine, okay? I want you to come with me to races and walk next to you”

“I guess I'm scared of going back to reality, Lando” I sighed, holding his hand. “Of going back home, back to the classes, of going back to my normal life as a student. I guess it terrifies me thinking about not having you next to me, because I got so comfortable with you during this whole week, and knowing that you will be away makes me feel lonely”

“Oh, come here” he sighed, pulling me closer and kissing my head. “You know you can call me whenever you need to, right? You survived four years without me, you can survive five days”

“But in those four years I didn't spend my time kissing you and hugging you” I sighed looking at him. “I didn't think about you as more than a friend, Lando. You were there and we texted just for important things”

“And we can keep doing it” he said. “We can keep texting, calling. I'll go back to you once I finish this work. I'll go back to you, we will talk about what the future has for us and then I won't leave you until you get tired of me, okay?”

“Never” I smile looking at him. “I think I'll never get tired of you”

“That's good” he chuckled. “Now, please… please let's go back inside because I'm freezing and I can't feel my ears right now”

I chuckled and nodded, standing up and looking at him, hugging him. The last few days he made me fall for him, he made me fall in love with who he is. And I don't want to regret that. I want to cherish all the seconds I can have next to him until something bigger than us makes us part our ways. 

“Let's go to bed” I smile, standing on my tiptoes and kissing his lips softly. “You are cold”

“Because certain missy wanted to stay out a little more” he whispered against my lips, making me chuckle softly.

We went inside the house and walked upstairs towards the bedrooms, giggling when he picked me up and opened the door of my bedroom. I smiled looking at him, peppering soft kisses on his cheek before he let me stand on my feet in the middle of the room, placing his hands on my waist and slowly wrapping his arms around me, pulling me closer.

Lando is someone that waits for the other person to feel comfortable. Before kissing me, he always stands closer and looks at me waiting for an answer. When he wants to hug me, he waits for me to start it. He lets me choose if I want affection even if he's dying to touch me and hold me. And that, waiting for an approval, is something that made me fall for him. 

“Promise me one thing” I whispered against the skin of his neck.

“Of course, what is it?” 

“You will call me and text me whenever you need it too” I said, looking at him. “Don't hold back this time. Not again. If you see something that reminds me of you, just say it. If you miss me, call me”

“I promise” he smiled, kissing the tip of my nose.

I took a deep breath and smiled looking at him, cupping his cheek and pressing my lips on his. He sighed against my lips, holding me tighter and pressing my body on his, deepening the kiss. 

Something changed in that kiss. It was more passionate, deeper, with desire and lust. And still, I returned the same feelings, making me moan the moment I felt his tongue against my lips asking for access to my mouth, wanting to explore and melt his lips with mine, our tongues starting a fight that will only end once both of us are satisfied.

“I don't want to force you” he panties, pulling away to catch his breath.

“You are not, you know it” I argued, kissing him again, and again, and again…

My skin started to burn asking for his touch, desperate to feel his hands over my body. The ache between my legs was increasing, making me rub my thighs trying to find a release. Between our bodies, his length started to get harder, I could feel it. 

I know what will happen next. I know that it will mean something. I know that once we do it there won't be a way back. And thinking about it makes me want him even more.

I saw him half naked before, spending summers together. It was normal seeing him in a bath suit. But now, having him completely naked in front of me, it made me reaffirm that he is indeed attractive.

“Are you sure about this?” he whispered breathless, watching me kiss his chest. “Violet…”

“Shut up” I whisper looking up at him, kneeling and wrapping my hand around him, watching how he closed his eyes and hissed. 

It only made me bite my lip before licking his tip, teasing him before taking him in my mouth. I was still dressed, and it was bad because I could feel myself getting more wet only by sucking him.

“Keep going” he moaned, holding my hair out of my face, pushing my head a little closer to him. “I'm close”

I felt it, I felt him getting closer, and even if he tried to pull out I just kept going until I felt the salty release in my throat. He gasped looking down at me, watching how I let him go and swallowed, licking my lips after that.

“Fuck, that was so hot” he sighed, helping me stand up, pressing his lips on mine.

I moaned, not only because I just realized that I gave him head and I turned him even more, but because I was feeling so wet because I needed him. The ache between my legs was begging me to let him touch me.

He started to undress me slowly, taking off my hoodie and shirt and my joggers. His lips traveled over my body, pressing wet kisses that made me want him even more. 

“I need you” I whisper, tilting my neck to the side when I felt his lips on my neck, leaving a trail of kisses until he reaches my lips.

He nodded and his hand traveled down my stomach, caressing my skin slowly until his fingers touched the elastic of my panties. He never stopped kissing me, not even when his fingers touched my clitoris and I moaned on his lips, not even when he traced my folds with his fingers.

“You are so wet” he whispered. “So wet…”

“Yeah” I nodded, spreading more my legs for him.

I closed my eyes when I felt how he started rubbing my clit, hearing the obscene sounds and being turned even more when he caught between his lips my hard nipple, making me moan quietly. His tongue started to draw circles on it… until he stopped.

“Violet” he whispered, making me hum and frown my eyebrows.

His fingers were no longer touching me, his lips were no longer on my breast. 

“What? What's wrong?” I asked, breathless, frustrated because he stopped touching me.

“I mean, I don't mind, but…” he sighed looking at me with a weak smile. “You are bleeding”

“What?!” I screamed, sitting straight and looking at his hand, then at the bed sheets. 

Red. Fucking red.

“Fucking hell!” I gasped, grabbing the first clothing I found and covering my body with it, standing up in the middle of the room.

My period. My fucking period decided to come right now when I was going to have sex with him. What type of fucking joke is this?

“Violet, it's okay, really” he said, trying to reach for my hand. 

“This is so fucking embarrassing” I gasped looking at his fingers.

“No, it's not. It's normal” he sighed, standing up and taking a step closer to me, but I just pushed him away. “I don't mind, really”

I ran to the bathroom and locked the door before he could follow me. This can't be happening. There's no way this happened now. 

I heard the door of Max and Pietra's room opening and I closed my eyes, feeling tears in my eyes and how my breathing started to get heavier.

God, I want to die! They heard us. They heard me.

“What happened?” Max frowned, coming out of the room and looking at the bathroom door and then at Violet's room.

“She… eh…” I sighed, swallowing thickly, wrapping myself with the blanket.

“Oh” Pietra smiled weakly when she saw the blood. “I’ll talk with her”

I swallow thickly and look at the bed sheets, then at Max. What am I supposed to do?

“I fucked up” I sighed, taking the sheets off and changing them, cleaning my hand with them and throwing them to the floor. “I fucking embarrassed her”

“Mate, it's okay” he smiled weakly.

“No Max” I frown. “I just… God! Maybe it was a sign. A sign that we are going too fast. That…”

“Hey, hey, stop” he frowned. “Look, none of that is true. Look, whatever you two were doing or were going to do, wasn't a mistake”

“But I just told her the most stupid thing ever!” I exclaimed. “I told her that it was okay and that I didn't mind. God, how can I be that disgusting?”

“You are not, you just wanted to make her feel okay, that's all” he sighed, patting my back. “Come on, let's change the sheets, yeah? I think Pietra is taking care of her”

I sigh and change the bed sheets with his help, waiting for Violet once we finish making the bed. What should I do? I didn't want to make her feel that bad, I just… 

I shook my head and sighed, going to the kitchen and making her a hot chocolate, as an apology. 

“Hey” I heard her sigh, walking inside the kitchen.

“Hey” I smiled. “I'm sorry. So sorry for what happened there. I just…”

“I get it” she sighed. “You wanted to return the favor. But I just didn't notice that today was supposed to come my period and I thought that the wetness was because I was horny and not because of the… well, blood”

“I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, Violet. Please understand that” I said looking at her, opening my arms for her. 

“It's okay, Lando” she sighed, hugging me.

“Maybe it wasn't our time to go the way” I whisper, rubbing her back softly. “And it was better to stop it before we regret that…”

“I wouldn't have regretted having sex with you, Lando” she said, looking up at me. 

“I didn't bring condoms” I said, blushing and looking away. “And of course I wasn't going to ask Max for some”

“Oh, I get it” she chuckled softly, kissing my cheek. “We'll wait. And now, please, give me that hot chocolate”

I nodded and sigh, picking her up and making her sit on the counter, standing between her legs while she drank the hot chocolate. I rubbed her sides, her thighs. I just want to give her some release of her pain, of whatever she feels right now.

I saw her leave the cup on the counter and I smiled weakly at her. She cupped my cheeks and kissed me softly, making me sigh.

“Do you need something? Pads? Tampons? I'll go to the village” I asked against her lips.

“It's okay, Pietra gave me what I needed” she said, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. 

“I changed the sheets” I whispered. 

“Mhm, I saw”

I sigh, breaking the kiss and looking at her. There's still that feeling of guilt in my chest, of starting something the moment I started that kiss in her bedroom. 

“Lando, it's okay” she sighed. “We can try once you are back from work”

“I just don't want it to be staged, Violet” I sighed. “I don't want to put a day for the first time I have sex with you. I want it to go natural, to happen because both of us wanted to..”

“Oh, believe me. The moment you'll press the doorbell of my apartment I'll want you naked in my bedroom” she joked, making me chuckle softly. 

“Silly” I laughed softly, kissing her lips. 

“I just want our first time together to be something we will remember” she sighed, playing with my hair. “I don't want it to be dumb and clumsy because our friends are sleeping in the room next door. Maybe it was a good signal, okay?”

I nodded and sigh, kissing her forehead softly and rubbing her thighs softly. She drank the chocolate until she finished it, hugging me again.

“And the way you acted… thank you for that” I heard her whisper. 

“Why?” I frown looking at her.

“It's just… how you acted” she smiled. “You weren't disgusted about it. Believe me, it made me feel a little better when I calmed down and realized what happened”

“Why would I be disgusted?” I frown, squeezing her hips softly.

“Oh, believe me. The guys I used to date literally avoided me like the plague whenever I told them I had my period” she smiled weakly, making me roll my eyes.

“Then let me tell you that you dated assholes, my dear” I laugh softly. 

“I know” she smiled weakly, and I just kissed her lips softly. 

“Let's go to bed, yeah? We can cuddle” I smiled. 

“Yes, please”

The warmth of his hand on my low abdomen made me sleep, and I felt so grateful for that. 

The next morning I felt better, but knowing that we are leaving in a few hours made my heart break a little. I know what will happen once we step in the airport. Pietra and I will go back home, and Lando and Max will go to Sweden.

“How are you feeling?” I heard him whisper behind me, making me turn around slowly and hide my face on his chest.

“Like shit, basically” I sighed. “But it's okay”.

“Does it hurt?” he whispered, rubbing my lower back. “Do you need something? A painkiller?”

“It's okay, Lando” I whisper. “I'll take a painkiller with breakfast and I'll be okay, don't worry”

“I do worry, you are in pain and I can't do anything about it” he sighed, making me chuckle softly.

“Ah, stop it! You are going to make me fall harder for you” I laughed softly.

“Then I won't stop” he joked, kissing my forehead.

We cuddled a little more, not wanting to leave the bed, but both of us knew that we had a plane to take and things to do. And I hate to admit it, but leaving him made me feel bad.

“Thank you for this week” I whisper. “Really, thank you”

“No, Violet” he smiled, brushing my hair out of my face. “Thank you, for giving me a chance during this week. If I told the Lando of two weeks ago that I kissed you and you kissed me back, he wouldn't believe it”

“Oh, silly” I laughed, hitting his chest softly.

We got up after a while, trying to stay in bed as long as possible. Our suitcases were ready, we only needed to put the sleeping clothes inside of them and get dressed. 

It was a quiet breakfast, Max and Pietra were quiet too. My mind was full of questions of “what if…”. What if when I return home Eloise is no longer my friend? What if Harry hurt her? What if Harry managed to make that threat come true? His phone didn't have those pictures he mentioned, but maybe those were on his laptop. What if he sent them to the tabloids? What if…

“Hey” Lando smiled, holding my hand and squeezing it softly. “It will be okay, don't worry”

I smiled weakly and nodded, finishing my breakfast and heading back to the bedroom to grab all my things. I looked for one last time to the bedroom, to the trees covered in snow in front of the window. This place saw me fall for Lando, and I wish those stay with me and come with me to London. I don't want to regret who I am right now.

“Ready?” I heard Lando behind me, making me turn around and walk towards him, pressing my lips on his for a few seconds. “Let's go”

He helped me with the suitcase and then he put it in the back of the car with the other ones. He held my hand and rubbed his thumb on it softly, kissing my forehead and going back inside to take other things.

“I'll miss this place” I heard Pietra sigh next to me. “It was nice, I liked it”

“Yeah well, let's hope we come back someday, and this time without arguments during the stay, right?” I smiled weakly, remembering that day when Harry went mad.

“Are you okay?” she smiled weakly.

“I guess I'll have to deal with it” I said. “I sent Eloise a text the other day, just telling her how I felt and what happened. I don't know if she replied or not”

“That's good” she nodded. 

“Yeah, well… I wanted to do the same with Harry, but I guess I didn't want to risk it and go back to his lies” I smiled weakly. “Maybe I'll do it someday, but at the moment I want to stay away from him”

She nodded and smiled, hugging me and getting inside the car, waiting for Lando and Max to come out of the house. I sighed, sitting in the front and looking at my phone. No texts from Eloise, nothing from her. Maybe she didn't read what I sent her, or she ignored it.

The way to the airport was fast, time passed really fast and all I wanted was to stay here longer. I held Lando's all the time during the check in, while waiting for the plane.

“It will be okay” he smiled, hugging me and kissing my temple. “It's only a few days, okay? I'll be there soon”

“I know” I sighed. “Text me whenever you want, okay?”

“Of course” he smiled. “And you will text me once you land”

I sighed and nodded, kissing his lips softly. 

I don't care what others might think. Five days? Time passes fast! But when you discover who you are when you are with someone and you feel comfortable with them, you don't want them to leave. The Violet from a week ago would think that I look pathetic, doing something I promised myself I wouldn't do: act like an innocent girl in love that all she wants is to be with her lover.

“Come on, they are calling us” Pietra smiled weakly.

I nodded and laughed sadly, waving goodbye to Max and Lando and going with her towards our gate.

“I looked ridiculous, right?” I sighed, sitting next to her. 

“You looked in love, that's all” she smiled. “It was cute. I'm sure Lando will miss you too”

“Yeah…” I smiled. “I didn't tell him yet. That, well… that I love him”

“You do?” she gasped while holding my hand.

“I think I do” I nodded. “After what he did last night… He made me realize that I never had someone that treated the way he does. And it makes me feel so good and loved”

“That's wonderful, Violet” she smiled. “Bieber me when I say that this whole week you grew up so much. You changed and I love this new Violet more than the previous one”

“I do, too”

The flight was short, and since we had to go different ways, we said goodbye once we walked out of the airport. 

The moment I got inside the underground, realization hit me hard knowing that I had to go back to the routine, that I was alone and that my home is nothing compared to that beautiful house in the snow. That my neighbors are noisy and that my room has views of the crowded streets and traffic lights.

I took a deep breath the moment I opened the door of the building, smiling at the receptionist.

“Oh, Violet. You have some packages for you” 

I frown and smile, grabbing the boxes and carrying them alongside my suitcase and backpack. Once I was inside my apartment I grabbed my phone, smiling and texting him.

Violet: you didn't have to send me more gifts, Lando. Really, now that I know it's you, you just can hand it to me once you are back 🧡

Lando🧡: what? I didn't send you anything, at least not yet

Violet: what?

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[cher-rei]

afterglow- pt. 6 [ T.A.A ]

pairings: trent alexander arnold x fem!reader

summary: young and aspiring marketing and business major jamie carter (you) is privileged with working alongside the liverpool marketing and public relations team while also getting entangled with their star player and right back, trent alexander arnold.

genre(s): friends to lovers, workplace romance, fluff

[wc: 4.6K] [part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 7] [part 8]

notes: this chapter is a bit longer but it was so funny to write. and of course, it was sitting in my drafts for like 50 years... enjoy!

if someone were to ask you to pick between your mother and your father you wouldn't be able to answer the question, much like most people in the world. they both offered qualities you needed respectively and you were grateful to have them both in your life. kind of.

seeing as you spent most of your life in london, despite being born in liverpool you grew up with your mother and spent a solid 22 years in her presence with nowhere to go. you loved it in london, it was your home and you couldn't let it go. but what it lacked was your father— your best friend.

you were living with him right now because of the whole "alex has chicken pox" situation but you were welcomed home to a facetime from your nephew so that was fun. it was easier with your father, you didn't have to walk on eggshells around him, you could talk about anything and laugh about everything together and that's what you loved about him— his neverending support.

it started with taking you to football practice without your mother knowing, her thinking that he was accompanying you to weekly ballet. when instead, he'd have your kit in the car ready at all times, and supporting you from the sidelines all the way until high school.

and then when your mum was against your university major in marketing instead of law as you had "agreed" upon, your father took the drive from liverpool to london so that he could have a chat with her. and to your surprise she gave up and let you do as you pleased with much reluctance.

so when they got the divorce when you were 16 and he moved back to liverpool, the decision was seamless but you still stayed with your mother seeing as maya already had a job position on that side. after all, you couldn't leave your mother alone. the woman gave birth to you for crying out loud.

all that just for you to move to liverpool eventually because of a really bad break-up. which brought you to your current point— the one where your father wanted to wring every single man's neck no matter how they looked at you.

you felt like a teenager sneaking out like this but you had no other choice. you were going on a drive to lord knows where with a freaken football player, "the most unloyal men on this planet", as your father liked to say.

but of course, he had to catch you in the act, a look of confusion plastered on his face as he stood in the living room, getting ready for bed. "why are you walking around like you did something wrong?" he gasped at your guilty expression, "are you leaving me already? you're just like your mother."

your anxiety vanished in an instant at his joke, an attempt to get the truth out of you. "it's too late to be making jokes like that."

he crossed his arms over his chest. "and it's too late for you to be walking around the house like you're in the 'quiet place'. seriously jamie, why are you tiptoeing?"

you raised your hands in defence, "I thought you were sleeping. my bad for being considerate."

he let out an unconvinced hum and eyed you up and down. he took in the fact that you were in a pair of sweats and a navy blue zip-up hoodie. "you're not a teenager anymore." he shook his head and let out an amused chuckle.

you watched as he made his way to the kitchen and you couldn't help but follow behind him, "what's that supposed to mean?"

he didn't answer your question for a moment and continued to rummage through the fridge for something, happily taking out a box of doughnuts you two had bought earlier. "it means that you can leave the house when you want to. just tell me first."

it was times like this that you forgot you were an adult. to be fair you never really considered yourself to be one, or to act like one either. "oh." there was a moment of silence that passed but it was interrupted by your phone going off.

the way that you darted to check the message said enough to your father, and he let out another amused chuckle. "go on now. don't keep the boy waiting."

your eyes widened in shock, your mouth dry in disbelief but he waved you off. "leave before I go outside to meet him. or should I just--"

"--stay here! I'll be home soon!"

"so do you always drag girls out of bed to keep you company in your car?"

trent rolled his eyes at your question from the driver's seat but kept his attention on the empty road, only the city lights illumating the dark night. "first of all: I didn't drag you out of bed, you could have said no. and second: no I don't usually do this."

you looked at him with your eyes narrowed, not sure what possessed him to call you at 10 in the evening for a drive. "oh so I get special privileges now? care to explain why?"

"I just wanted to go for a drive that's all," he answered honestly with a shrug of his shoulders but that still wasn't quite the answer you were looking for.

you fought back your amused smile. "you have friends for that trent, I'm sure."

the car stopped at a red light which allowed him to look over at you sitting comfortably in the passenger seat of his car. it wasn't the first time after all— there were many trips to the academy, sometimes having to shoot content with him and even that one morning when he picked you up at your sister's apartment for work.

you'd never forget that day and the innocent look on his face when he called you to say that he was outside just as you were grabbing your car keys. it was strange but you didn't mind it.

he let out a sigh and continued to drive after the light had turned green. "all my friends prefer to spend their evenings with their girlfriends and wives so yeah no thanks. and besides--" he shot you an appointed look, "--are we not friends?"

your mouth dried up. that was a little more than you wanted to get out of him, not sure how to respond. colleagues? definitely. banter buddies? sure. but friends?? you were sure that there was some sort of boundary for that and you were never sure if you two had managed to get there yet.

"you could have asked skylar."

oh shit.

you bit your tongue in immediate regret. it was a genuine accident at how quickly it left from your lips and telling by the flicker in trrent's expression, you had hit a nerve. you were just about to apologise when he interjected.

"skylar," he emphasized her name, his lips curved into a smile as he spoke to you, "wouldn't be caught dead eating takeout in a mcdonald's parking lot at 10 in the evening with me though."

you didn't know what to think of his answer, but instead of overthinking it, you decided to make the most of the moment at least. there was no point in making this awkward and it's not like you didn't enjoy his company. trent was easy to be around. most of the time.

so that's how you found yourself parked at the far end of an empty mcdonald's parking lot with hardly any street lights in sight. you unbuckled your seat belt and reclined the seat further back for some more leg room, trent watching you as you did so.

"oh, you're definitely not new to this."

which was true, you weren't. you've had your fair share of late-night drives to get some fresh air back in london. the only difference was the person you were with, a distant memory that you weren't too fond with but maintained at the back of your mind.

you were sat with a large fries, a chocolate milkshake and a mcflurry. you dubbed it the ultimate late-night combo and trent was eager enough to take your word for it, and to his surprise it did not disappoint despite being so simple.

it didn't take long for the atmosphere to clear and for you to ease into conversation. dabbling a bit in random aspects of your lives, to movies, to football and to just nothing. you loved how easygoing it was, not much thought had to be put into anything you said which left you with room to just relax.

"so your mum's not from liverpool?"

you shook your head and took another sip from your milkshake. "she's from london, my dad's from liverpool. but they lived together here for a bit, and two or three years after I was born we moved back to london."

the explanation made trent tutt in disappointment. "and here I thought you were a purebred brit. your accent's probably fake too."

"the accent is real thank you very much," you defended with a hand to your chest.

he quirked a brow, "let's be honest here. you probably dated colwill. you were probably neighbours or something."

your eyes widened a fraction at his comment in utter shock. "levi?" well wasn't this just lovely, you couldn't help but laugh at the thought. "he's three years younger than I am."

trent scrunched his face at you, not convinced by your answer almost as if he knew something you didn't. "age is just a number or whatever they say. but no," he thought for a moment, "you couldn't have been with him because he would have said something by now."

it was strange to see this considering that trent literally played with levi in the england team, so the dots would've been connected long ago if you were in fact in cahoots with levi. it was quite the compliment, knowing that you were paired up with someone that attractive.

"if I were with levi then I wouldn't be in liverpool right now. I'd be back in london living my best life." your answer seemed to pique trent's interest, questions bubbling at his throat the more he found out about you.

"why is it that you left london?" he leant back into the seat, his full attention now on you in the dimly lit car. "I'm sure it's not just because of work."

oh definitely not. you just happened to get lucky there.

your lips pursed as you thought, not sure just how much he wanted to know or how much you were willing to tell. but it wouldn't hurt right?

"uhm," you cleared your throat, "bad breakup."

trent's intrigue increased at your answer, one that he wasn't expecting to be honest. he was expecting something more along the lines of running away from home because your parents' divorce or to be closer to maya.

"you don't look like the relationship type," he answered truthfully and your eyes widened in slight shock, feelings mixed and a bitter taste in your mouth.

how were you supposed to interpret that? negatively? positively? was he calling you independent?? the internal struggle was mind boggling.

you pushed the comment to the back of your mind and let out a hum. "no yeah, he cheated on me."

"oh fuck."

"with my best friend."

"oh fuck."

a laugh escaped your mouth at his reaction and how it got progressively more concerned with each passing second, and your nonchalance wasn't making him feel any better. he fumbled over his words for a bit, switching between the usual "I'm so sorry" and "you've got to be joking right now".

you assured him that you were fine, a closed lippsed smile drawn across your lips. "but like hey," you raised your hands jokjngly, "his name was michael so..."

trent blew out a breath at that and quirked a brow. "yeah, no you definitely asked for it then."

your rolled your eyes and played along for a moment, "I know right. and it didn't help that she was literally his best friend before we got together."

it was every cliché in the book to trent which only made the situation less serious, and seeing that you weren't showing any sort of discomfort towards it he didn't stop himself from laughing and getting back at you. "you just love making horrible life choices."

you nodded eagerly in agreement, saying that it was actually your forte— a gift that you just happened to be born with. it didn't take long for you to ask trent how he didn't know about the breakup. "I'm not famous but it was all over twitter for quite some time."

you came to learn that he wasn't a social media buff and preferred to keep to himself by just staying at home and enjoying his own company and you respected him for that. for you however, it was slightly different because your entire life was on social media but you didn't regret it.

the people that you met and the content that you had the opportunity to create were more than you could ever ask for. but obviously there were the downs— public breakups, hate comments, death threats. nothing out of the ordinary. quite a bit of your life was on display for the world to see so you understood trent's want to keep his life as private as possible.

you were getting to that point as well. you had a total of two friends— maya and clara. your daily routine consisted of waking up, going to work, pilates, pop into a barnes and noble, settling in at home and going live for a few hours. that was your quiet life and you were thoroughly enjoying it.

and trent did a damn good job at keeping his life private, skylar was an absolute myth to everyone. that and you felt that it was time to shift the attention to him for a bit.

"so what happened between you and name not to be mentioned? seeing as we're getting emotional here."

he wouldn't use the word "emotional" but a heart-to-heart was blatantly taking place, even though it wasn't planned. there was a look on his face that screamed how do I explain this? and it had you chewing on your lip for answers, any sort of answer.

it took trent a moment but he eventually let his guard down. "well rumors say that I cheated on her with some random youtuber's girlfriend— which is insane by the way."

not really.

"we dated for nearly two years, she was nice, came to my matches, said I made her heart do flips or something like that." the way it fell from his lips wasn't the slightest bit tasteful, no good reminisce or fondness in his tone at all.

you continued to listen to trent as he explained his relationship with skylar a bit more, furthering into how they met and whatnot. it wasn't anything crazy, just through a mutual friend and he decided to take her on a few dates just for fun, until they're eventually hit it off.

"I thought it was going well but then she said she needed a break out of nowhere, and I was like excuse me?" he said with just as much enthusiasm as if he were still in the moment, his forehead creased in confusion as he looked at you.

he was hurt and it was subtle but not subtle enough to miss. "and she just left without explaining?"

"no," he sighed. "she said she couldn't handle the restriction and needed some time to live her life but obviously the lads thought otherwise. robbo said it was emotional manipulation but I don't know."

"that girl is insane trent. she uses your bank card more than you do. she flakes out on most of your dates and when you try to speak to her about an issue or how you're feeling she gets emotional and starts playing the victim, while you try and apologise. get her out of your life."

this was at least a ten times worse than your situation and you were sympathising at this point. skylar was in fact a manipulator and trent wholeheartedly did not want to admit that.

"and now what? she just shows up and you're fine?" the question came out a little harsher than you intended so you immediately apologized, not wanting to ruin the moment and make him feel awkward. but it was a genuine question and you were borderline worried for him.

there was a moment of silence that enveloped the two of you, filled with even more uncertainty than before. "I don't know to be honest. she hasn't said anything yet but I haven't really been in the mood to confront her yet— I have bigger things to worry about right now."

okay, that was true. his head had to be in the game, and with his team, not some girl who came to lounge around for whatever reason. but you genuinely felt bad for him, a new light shone over him after this evening— one that revealed a little more vulnerability than he let on and it tugged at your heart strings.

driving home about an hour later with that knowledge sitting at the back of your mind wasn't the easiest and you just knew that it was going to keep you up tonight. plaguing your mind, sounding over your other thoughts that were probably more important, for example— the script that you had to give to one of the p.r members for an episode of Up the Reds!, the schedule for certain uploads and how the accounts had to be managed, as well as certain photoshoots and interviews that needed to be prepared beforehand and the packing you had to finish before--

"hey sweetheart," you cooed into the receiver end of your phone which just happened to catch trent's undivided attention but yours was out the window, as you adorned a soft smile.

"don't 'hey sweetheart' me," the voice of the teenager bit back but you swear you could hear him smiling. "you didn't tell me you were making the trip."

oh, he just had to go and tell the entire world huh?

you huffed out a breath, "in my defence, I only made the decision today." an unconvinced hum rang through your hear and you stifled a laugh. "are you going to be there?"

"no duh."

you rolled your eyes at the attitude he was giving you, which was nothing out of the ordinary. "I'm leaving in two days for the week so--"

"a week??" the shock in his tone was evident and you knew were this was leading. "he convinced you to stay for the week? and you said yes?!"

"I said yes so I could spend more time with you I swear. if you really think about it, I'm doing this for you."

"hm, oh really?" he dragged out and you pursed your lips to stop the laughter from escaping your lips. "I'm holding you to this. bye I'm leaving to try and comprehend the amount of lies that just came from your mouth."

"come on you can't be a--" you interjected but the boy was adamant.

"--bye!!"

you laughed sheepishly. "I love you."

"liar!"

that was nothing short of the usual phone call you seemed to get, a ghost of a smile still on your lips as you put your phone back down into your lap while trent mustered up the courage to say something.

"so." he gained your attention, his gaze immediately averting in front of him to the empty road as he drove a little slower than usual. "you're going somewhere?"

you perked up and nodded. "It's supposed to be to relax but I'm pretty sure I'll be more stressed out on that side of the world. I'll be back by next week though."

he probably should have asked where you were going but before you knew it, you were in front of your dad's house. and as suspected, all the lights were off but you knew he wasn't sleeping. he wouldn't even think about it until he knew that you were at home safely.

it was exactly 1:42 a.m., and only then had it hit you just how long you had stayed out. trent got out of the car and watched as you walked to the front door— the urge to say something tickling at his throat. something other than "goodbye" but it wasn't there yet.

you gave him a small wave and put your hand on the door handle, but before you could turn it, it was pulled open from the inside— your dad stood against the doorframe with a sly grin that you were so close to slapping off his face but he was quick.

he put his hand out and waved at trent, the footballer slightly amused at your reaction and harsh movements to push your dad back inside, a laugh echoing as he waved back politely. "good evening mr carter."

you whipped around and sent a glare trent's way but he was far more than pleased.

"jamie, why didn't you say that your boyfriend was a footballer?"

your heart dropped to your stomach. "dad! i swear I'm going to--"

your father continued on playfully. "and he plays for us? so you do have reasonable taste in men. and here I thought I raised an idiot."

trent was as a loss for words by now, his eyes flickering from you as you tried to loosen yourself from your father's grip on your shoulders. he knew you were blushing, but his was masked well by the lack of lighting.

"anyway, thank you so much for returning my daughter in one piece trent. I hope she didn't bother you too much." he tightened his grip on you and ruffled your hair. "she's rather irritating in my opinion."

"not at all," trent managed through a laugh. "she's great company."

your father didn't agree with his answer at all and he made it blatantly obvious until he finally bid trent goodbye and got back into the house where you basically jumped onto his back, your arm wrapped around his neck in a chokehold.

"why are you like this?? I have to see him at work!"

"that's your fault for dating a colleague!"

"we're not dating!"

"that's exactly what your mother told me about her and shawn. and now look where that led us!"

#footballer imagine #fanfic #footballer x reader #trent alexander arnold fluff #footballer x you #trent alexander arnold x reader #liverpool fc #football imagine #liverpool x reader #trent alexander arnold fanfic #afterglow trent alexander arnold #cherrei rambles #cherrei writes #writers on tumblr

[bimbodoggie]

cybersex • (simon “ghost” riley x camgirl!reader)

contents/warnings: fem reader, consensual filming, toys, mean!dom simon, impregnating mention, face sitting, yourself on the shelf position, reader is plus sized, size kink, hair pulling, also simon is an asshole, oh also simon has a jacob’s ladder teehee :3

a/n: i started school and this semester has been beating my ass, MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI!, all art is by @ave661

your job was way easier than simon’s, you’d play dress up and take pretty pictures and videos for thousands of people on the internet….but simon he didn’t mind it because he knew that you were untouchable.

sometimes it did bother him tho, the fact others got to see what was his on the daily, but you could quit anytime you wanted, but this particular day it was different. the way simon was acting was kind of….strange, but then again he’s a 6’2 1/2 man who parades in a skull eggshell mask and the occasional balaclava with gunpowder or charcoal to match

all day your mind was filled by your thoughts of how he’s probably on the verge of breaking up with you right now, but then again this is the same man who spent his free time on base using your photos and videos as jerk bait….the front door creaked open and the sound of his boots and duffle bag hit the floor, its like this man had no trace of sound because next thing you know you two were eye to eye staring at each other.

it was embarrassing to say the least because well, you were naked and vulnerable…the only noise that came from his mouth was a satisfied grunt followed by a quick kiss on the mouth, you decided breaking the silence first was the best thing to do considering…

“are you leaving me?” was the question of the day, he froze, like a deer in headlights…if only you knew that was the complete opposite of what needed to be said from his mouth…once again silence filled the room as he walked over and shut off your camera which made you wonder even more about what his next move was

“you know, i’ve been thinking…that maybe instead of being being the director i get my role of the old pervert, something we can both remember yeah?”

what the fuck…is this the big secret he was storing away in his file cabinet? a fantasy, your mouth opened and closed, simon’s reaction was pretty expected, a hearty laugh a booming one at that…

“cmon use your words i know somewhere in that empty brain of yours you can conjure up a couple words yeah?”

instead of a verbal response which he wanted you just shook your head and ignored him which you would have to pay the price later but who cares at least him leaving you isn’t in the equation.

without warning simon picked you up and put you on the bed, looking you in your eyes to indicate that you either was going to break or he was going to break you.

he lifted his mask and started kissing from your neck all the way down to your malleolus bone, this man knew your body like the back of his hand, all the sensitive spots, where to lick, bite and touch he knew it all. he paused to turn on the camera.

“the first thing you’re gonna do is get on your knees and tell the audience what you’re doing today, then depending on how good you are i’ll let you be in charge for a little how does that sound lovey”

your brain circuited and was now functioning off of the commands from simon you scrambled from the bed to the floor…your big eyes met his lifeless ones.

“hi- hi everyone today i will be letting my boyfriend ghost be in my- my vids”

this was humiliating but you enjoyed every single moment, your mouth met his tip which was glistening with pre and begging to be touched, his cock was decorated with piercing jewelry which was a stimulant for your cunt, with his free hand he grabbed a fistful of hair and guided you to what he wanted to do, after that nothing but grunts and degrading phrases bounced around the walls

before he was remotely close to finishing he then picked you up and fucked into you, it was too much to bare, thousands of people watching you and how your boyfriend abuses your cunt on the daily basis, simon’s hand came into contact with your ass groping it, and leaving marks which will show in the morning

there was a heart shaped, light pink butt plug jewel which sparkled in the reflection of the light, the sounds of skin filled the room as you cried out for him to be gentle, he ignored your plea but instead moved a little closer to the camera putting your holes on display for thousands to see

user239329849: he’s such a lucky man

anon3453905: i would do anything to get my hands on her

simon laughed at the desperation comments that entailed of men and their sick fantasies, but simon was the only one who could act on them…he then put you down and signaled you to sit on his face, as much as you wanted to tell him your cunt was saying too much, you wanted him and needed him…the way his warm tongue consoled your weeping cunt had you in tears, the whining and crying for him to slow down was non existent to him.

he then positioned you to where your face was in the camera while he spread open the globes of your brown ass, “gonna give you a baby, i always know when you’re ovulating, i always track it on my calendar in my phone to make sure i get you pregnant” he rasped as he increased his pace….so much was going on which made you wonder if you could take him or not

he wanted a view of how your skin turned red at the sight of him battering your insides like it was some sick recipe…. “si baby, please im just please” your replied to him as he looked you in the eyes, a light slap from his hand was to question if you were still there or if you was just brainless, you started babbling incoherent sentences which was an indication to simon you were close, he took his hand pressed it again your lower abdomen…you tried you really did but he knew your body like a map

“you really are braindead, just a hole f’me and nothin else yea?”

that sent you overboard, it was enough with the jewelry that decorated his cock, you felt the band in your stomach pop making you to make a mess, it felt as if he planned this, he was sick but you liked it….he then turn your ass and cunt to the camera to show the cum leaking out of your throbbing hole….a sloppy kiss from simon was all you needed, you felt like he was breaking you

“touch her and i will find you personally and kill you”

he then ended the live stream to give you aftercare but deep down you knew he was serious

#cod mw2 smut #simon ghost riley smut #callofdutysmut #simon riley x black!reader #call of duty smut #codsmut #simon riley smut #dom!simonriley #simon riley plus sized!reader

[evan4ever]

Better Than Me

Warnings: Angry distressed Kai, past memories of abuse, smut/sexual indications

a/n: mostly Kai’s perspective, flashbacks, might be kinda confusing sorryyyy

—

It’s been 3 months since Kai ended things with you. It was truly a selfless act, breaking up and kicking you out for your own safety. But it’s Kai, it never comes out that way.

“You don’t belong here”

“You don’t fit”

“You’re a liability”

“You could never amount to what this group needs”

“I don’t want you anymore”

Every word hurt. Sure, you weren’t as good at killing as the rest. You had a ways to go. But you tried your best and you figured Kai would teach you like he did the rest of the members. But instead, he kicked you to the curb. Didn’t even kill you like he would anyone else. Threw you out like you were nothing.

And you spent the last few months picking up the broken pieces of yourself and putting them back together. You never went back, Kai made it clear to stay the fuck away, that he didn’t want to see your face again and if he did, it would be ugly. You knew what he was capable of, so you stayed away at his request.

Kai, on the other hand, was a fucking mess. He was angrier than ever. Scarier. The members walked on eggshells around him. They didn’t understand why he broke up with you only to become even colder than before. If you truly made him as unhappy as he said, wouldn’t that mean with you being gone, he’d be better? Nicer? No, Kai wasn’t capable of being nice, they knew that. But they definitely expected anything but this.

It was late tonight. Kai ended the meeting and everyone went their own ways leaving Kai alone in the basement. Silence filled his ears, and that made his mind race. Memories filled within him. He was at his all time low, he hated everything around him, everyone around him that wasn’t you.

He looked around the empty room, his eyes landing on his empty, unmade bed and his heart instantly aching at the sight. 3 months ago, you would be in it. Ready for him to come to you, ready to take care of him after his stressful day and after every meeting. Now empty and sad looking.

• flashback •

“You’re kidding?!” You gasped in shock while laying in bed, your arms around Kai holding him to your chest while his arms were wrapped around your body.

“Not in the slightest.” He grinned to himself proudly. He had just told you what he had found out one of the members had done.

“And then what?” You urged him to continue while one of your hands fingered through his hair gently, soothingly.

“I killed him, of course. Couldn’t have a big mouth running around the city like that.” He shrugged against your body, snuggling into you more which allowed you to wrap your free hand around him tighter. This was normal for you two, always ending your night talking about the happenings that the day held. You loved hearing him tell you all about his day, and he loved how interested you always were. It was so comfortable that it became a routine.

“Never. How’d you kill him?” You tilted your head, interested in all the details. Another thing Kai loved about you — you wanted to know everything. You wanted to know the most gruesome details and it was empowering to him. Maybe the fact that you talked him up. You always fueled his ego and he fucking loved it.

“My bare hands, baby. The worst way to go, don’t you think?” He moved his head back a bit so he could look up to you, your eyes immediately looking down to meet his.

“Oh yeah. Watching as the man before you holds any air from your lungs, feeling that fear fill your body with every attempted gasp, knowing your life is coming to an end and being dragged out for minutes? The worst.” You explained your take on suffocating, not that you’d know for sure but how you’d imagine it. “And you, watching the life slowly slip away from your victim, the one who went behind your back and threatened everything you’ve worked so hard for? There’s no other way to do it.”

Kai smiled up at you, his head tilting to the side now as he admired his beautiful freak. All he could think was how did he get so lucky? You were never scared of him, and that was a win, because he knew the others were. No, you stood proudly as his side through every kill, every fight, every torture. You were a goddamn godsend.

• end of flashback •

Kai’s jaw clenched hard as he shook the memory from his head, his hands running through his hair and down his face trying to wipe all the feelings that came rushing back. This has been happening for awhile now. He did so good in the beginning, not thinking about you or what he had with you. But as time went by, memories began flooding him and despite his hardest efforts to keep them away, he was no match, and all he could do was keep trying.

He let out a small huff before finally making his way to his desk. He needed to find some documents, that was on his agenda for the day and something that had been discussed during the meeting, so he figured that would keep him occupied considering he had no idea where the fuck he put them last. Most of the important papers and documents and files were always placed on or in his desk somewhere, so it was a start. He began flipping through all the papers that were spread across the top of the desk, picking through them as he eyed each one for the title, but found nothing. He opened drawer after drawer repeating his previous actions, picking through everything within each drawer and slamming each one shut when he still failed to find what he needed.

He opened the last drawer and immediately stood up straight from his crouching stance, swallowing hard as he stared down at what was now in front of him. Pictures. He nearly forgot how to breathe as he remembered taking them and hiding them from you so you wouldn’t take them when you packed your belongings to leave. Each one a picture of the two of you. From selfies you took of you alone, selfies you took with him, Polaroids he took of you, pictures of you two together that someone else, likely Winter, took. They filled the entire drawer alone.

He didn’t know exactly why he took them. He was supposed to let you go, but for some reason he couldn’t bare the thought of not having some kind of reminder of your relationship. He couldn’t bare the thought of you taking the pictures just to throw them away or burn them with your memory of him. So he took them and hid them from you, pretending not to know where they were when you asked before you left.

And now, as he stared down at them, he felt the rage build. He pulled one from the pile and gazed down at it as another memory filled his head. The picture was a selfie you had taken of yourself and him at the mall, your arms around him and kissing his cheek so aggressively. He chuckled at it, remembering how happy he was in that moment. You brought him to Victoria’s Secret so he could pick out a new lingerie piece for you, you wanting him to pick out his very favorite.

• flashback •

“Come onnn..” you urged, pulling him with you into the overly feminine store. Kai groaned but allowed you to pull him and guide him around. He was disgusted by the amount of estrogen the place was filled with, but was happy seeing your wide smile and hearing your occasional giggles. Not to mention, knowing he’d get to fuck you in whatever he picked out later was a bonus. “Okay! Pick anything you like. What do you want to see me in?”

Kai looked around at the multiple sets in front of him, eyeing them intensely trying to imagine you in every piece. Each one sexier than the previous and making him hard just thinking about you in them. “This one.” He grabbed the deep navy blue set, of course being the most revealing. You grinned and took it from him before taking his hand again and leading him to the dressing rooms, entering one while he stood in front of the now closed door. Kai shoved his hands in his pocket and swatted uncomfortable while he waited for you, avoiding any and all eye contact from other females in the area.

“Okay, almost done… okay! Ready?” Kai hummed a response to you, his eyes flickering to the door as you opened it so he could see you from inside. His eyes went wide when he saw you, not yet taking in the set on your body but because others might be able to see you, quickly entering the dressing room and closing the door behind him. You took a step back a bit confused, your eyebrows furrowing while you stare at him. “Wha—“

“Someone could’ve seen you.” He cut you off, almost angrily. You tilted your head a bit, but he continued. “You’re for my eyes only.” His eyes darkened then as they traveled down your almost naked body hungrily, a low groan escaping from his throat. You pressed your lips together tightly while you gazed up at him through your lashes seductively.

“Well then, what do you think? Is this the one?” You questioned, doing a quick turn around for him so he could take in every angle. He watched, his eyes never leaving your body.

“I think I need to fuck you right here, right now” he practically growled, grabbing your hips and pulling you to him only to back you up against the wall, his lips on yours roughly, wasting no time in pulling his pants and boxers down enough to release his member so he could fuck you hard against the dressing room wall, no mercy or care for the other beings that could hear.

• end flashback •

Kai remembered the way you felt, the way you tasted and the way you sounded so perfect. If there was one memory he didn’t want to lose, it was that one. The ecstatic feeling, the adrenaline, and laughing as you were kicked out. He smiled when he thought about the fact that you dressed yourself with the lingerie still on, running out as you were both screamed at. You got a free lingerie set and he got one of the best fucks of his life out of it.

He set the picture down gently on top of the desk over the other papers, sucking in a sharp breath as he rested his palms on the desk and leaned on them. His eyes closed as he once again tried ridding himself of the thought of you, but to no avail. You were stuck there like a sliver embedded in his heart. He told himself over and over that he wouldn’t miss you, but if a lie alone could kill, he’d be dead and buried 6 feet under.

The harder he tried to stop thinking about you, the more memories flooded. Your hair in his face, the way your innocence tasted, the bed he laid in at night getting colder and the constant pretending that he could ever forget you. It was like a tornado in his head at this point, the picture of you in his head finally pushing him over the edge.

The little switch in his mind flipped and Kai lost it, swiping all of the papers and items off of his desk sending them crashing to the floor before grabbing the desk and flipping it easily with a loud thud as it broke into pieces on the ground.

“Fuck!” He screamed, kicking the pieces of wood multiple times before turning and punching his wall, his fist going straight through it. He pulled it back and gazed down at it, his fist now bloodied. His jaw clenched at the painfully good feeling it gave him, immediately throwing his fist into the wall again making a new hole. Then again, and again, and again.

He pulled himself back, already out of breath but needing to break more shit. He grabbed on of the broken legs of the desk and turned around, swinging it into the TV that was placed on a TV stand and sending it flying, beginning to beat the TV stand next before kicking it as well. He grabbed his computer and flung it into the wall with another loud crash, grabbed his nightstand lamp and threw it into another wall next.

Everyone could hear from above him, but no one dared to check on him or interfere, for fear of their life. Not even when you had entered the home and made your way to the basement. Some wanted to object, tell you that you were making a mistake by going down there, that you were the last person he would want to see. But everyone stayed silent and watched you disappear behind the basement door.

You could hear the crashing and the pained screams from Kai. Your heart hurt even though you had no idea what this fit of rage was about, definitely not thinking it was about you. You had came back after all these months because you had forgotten a few of your belongings and it took all this time to get the nerve to go redeem them. You wouldn’t bother if they weren’t important, but you needed them. And walking in on a silent house full of quiet people only sharing glances at one another before your ears filled with the muffled noises from below and deciding to check on him.

You still loved him, therefore if it killed you to make sure he was alright, so be it.

But just as you turned the corner to find him, you were nearly struck with the bedside table that Kai had just throw, a gasp leaving your mouth as you ducked and nearly hit the floor to avoid being hit. You blinked a few times before bringing yourself back to your feet carefully, your eyebrows raising high as you saw the state of the room. Everything was broken. Glass was shattered. And when your eyes landed on Kai, your heart sunk. Both of his hands bloody and bruised. It took everything to finally lift your eyes to his, his already on you.

Though they weren’t angry. They didn’t hold an ounce of anger in seeing you. No, they were full of surprise and despair.

He was broken.

But why? Surely it couldn’t be over your relationship ending. He was the one who ended it, after all.

“Why are you here?” He finally spoke, clearing his throat and recomposing himself so he was standing straight, trying his best to look intimidating. But you weren’t intimidated. You were just worried.

“I forgot some things..” you began slowly, looking around the mess of a room again before clearing your throat and wrapping yourself in your own arms, “I was just going to grab them and go..” you nodded. “Are you okay?” You whispered out after a few moments of silence, Kai’s eyes quickly looking away from yours.

“Fine. Get what you need and go.” He waved you off as he turned to his bed and stood before it. You watched him carefully, deciding to slowly make your way to him when he didn’t move another muscle. He heard your shuffling of each footstep and felt your presence grow closer, and he wanted to tell you not to touch him, to fucking leave him alone, but he couldn’t get it out. He was desperate to feel you.

When he didn’t move or object your closeness, you slowly raised your hand and rested it on his shoulder. He tensed under it, but quickly relaxed and that was your sign that he was allowing you to comfort him. You rested your other hand on his other shoulder and gently rubbed down his biceps and back up. Within some minutes, he relaxed his body more into your touch, allowing himself to lean back into you. You rested your head on his back, continuing to comfort him.

It felt so good to feel him again, and him feel you. The last 3 months have been nothing but hell for you both and this was all you needed. Kai silently cursed at himself for giving in and not sticking to his word. But he needed to feel you again.

You slipped your arms underneath his and allowed yourself to hug him from behind, his head falling back slightly as he held your arms tightly to him. His eyes were fixated on the ceiling as his mind raced, knowing this was the last thing either of you should be doing.

He felt so guilty. You were so good, good to him, good for him — and he was so bad. Bad for you. He knew that, and he hated that you couldn’t see it and he couldn’t make you.

You heard him let out a big sigh but didn’t move from your position.

“You deserve much better than me.” He spoke quietly. You swallowed hard at his words, but only hugged him tighter.

Maybe so. But you didn’t care. You loved him, you needed him.

—

Tags: @evanpetersmood @witchsbitchestime @demxnicprxncess @yes-divine-ruler @shjjpm @evanpsrealwife @iruzias @jangsuzchap @quicksilversg1rl l @submissiveforahsmen @angelmenace @lovelizzie-blog1 @justa19 @daylas-life @simp4petermaximoff @totta69

#Spotify #kai anderson x reader #kai anderson #kai anderson angst #kai anderson imagine #kai anderson ahs #kai anderson smut #evan peters #evan peters characters #evan peters imagine #evan peters supremacy #evan peters x reader #evan peters smut #kit walker #kit walker imagine #kit walker x reader #evan peters fanfic #evan peters requests #evan peters series #evan peters fic #hinder #angst #angry fic #colin zabel #tate langdon #kit walker smut #james patrick march #ahs fandom #ahs cult #american horror story

[fiveraccoonsinatrenchcoat]

Quiet My Fears (With The Touch Of Your Hand) Ch. 2

Steve Harrington x f!reader

Description: You have this amazing talent of knocking the wind right out of Steve's chest with words alone.

Warnings: pregnant!reader, mentions of being sick (among other scarier pregnancy symptoms), language

Word Count: 3614

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My Masterlist! - Series Masterlist!

Rain slammed against the window panes of the Harrington house like bullets. The cold seeped through the walls and ate straight through Steve’s pajamas, and the cup of coffee in his hands was doing little to remedy it. There was zero hint of sun in the sky, it seemed like there would be none all day, and Steve was really regretting coming out from under his covers. 

Steve had only slept in his own house three times over the past two weeks; he’d made quite the home for himself on your couch, living out of a backpack of clothes he’d stuck in the corner of your living room. You had asked him not to leave you alone, and what kind of man would he be if he had said no to that? He probably wouldn’t even have been able to, anyway.

He didn’t know if he would be allowed to sleep in your bed with you, and he had been too afraid to ask. 

While his father never really bothered to care where his son was, and his mother trusted him enough to let him do his own thing most of the time, he was still expected to show his face at home every once in a while. He’d been stuck with the closing shift last night (even though it was outside of his availability, so thanks for that, Keith), and he knew you’d be fast asleep by the time he made it back to your apartment. You’d called the store after you got home at the much more reasonable hour of six thirty. ‘I think I can live with being alone for tonight’ you’d told him. ‘I’ve got a paper to write, anyway.’ 

Fuck, Steve really needed a better job. Preferably one that paid him more and wasn’t open until eleven p.m. on a Thursday night. 

You worked a big girl job at the Roane County Historical Society museum. You were just a secretary, but you had a salary, insurance, and all that other grown up stuff. Nine to five, four days a week, and they helped with your college tuition, too. Come May, you’d have a History degree and a teaching certification, and word on the street said Hawkins Middle was about to have a need for a  new History teacher. Unlike him, you had the perfect five year plan laid out right in front of you. 

Y’know, as long as Steve hadn’t ruined it for you. 

By the time he woke up on Friday, his father was long gone. It was nearing one in the afternoon, and the big empty house felt extra big and extra empty today. Steve glanced out the window as he poured a second cup of coffee and saw the rain collecting in the bottom of the long-since drained pool in his backyard. A handful of stray leaves sat mixed with the rainwater, some stuck in a brown mass on the bottom, some floating lazily atop the puddle. 

He was startled out of his trance by his mother’s voice and nearly dropped his full mug.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” she said as she walked into the kitchen, heels clicking along the tiles. “Or, good afternoon, rather.”

Meredith Harrington was the opposite of her husband in more ways than anyone could count. She actually enjoyed spending time with her child, for one, but there had never been an angry bone in her body. She wasn’t immune to frustration, or worry, but it was never unfounded. Yet still, for every wild flame of rage that shot from her husband's mouth, she counteracted with calmness. Or, more accurately, quiet, fearful resignation. Her husband never put his hands on her or their son, but Steve could always tell that she had spent her whole marriage walking on eggshells, waiting for the terrifying moment that he did, as if it was a simple inevitability. 

Steve loved his mom, but fuck, he wished she would just stand up for herself for once.

“God, Mom, you scared me,” Steve responded, leaning against the counter. 

“I do live here, too, y’know,” she poked back with a smile. “When did you get so jumpy?”

If she ever found out the real answer to that question, she would probably never let her son out of her sight ever again.

“Haven’t seen much of you these last couple weeks,” his mother observed. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” he insisted. “Yeah, I’m alright.”

“Are you sure?” she asked. She put the pocketbook she was holding down on the marble countertop of the island and crossed the room to lean against it, opposite her son. “I can tell, there’s far too much going on in that big head of your’s.”

Steve snorted at the well meaning insult. 

“It’s nothing mom, I promise.”

“Come on now, you know I don’t buy that,” his mother asked with arms crossed. “Talk to me, kid.” 

“I-I don’t know.” Steve was absolutely, in no way, ready to talk about any of what was going through his head, especially to his mom. ‘You might be a grandma come September’ wasn’t really something he could just drop in the middle of casual conversation.

“Is it a girl, maybe?”

Steve’s quiet was proof enough that his mother was, at least partially, right. She gave her son a knowing smile.

“Tell me it’s not Nancy again, right?” she asked. Meredith was generally a pretty forgiving woman, but Nancy had really broken her son’s heart. So, while she would always show nothing but kindness to the eldest of the Wheeler children, she didn’t have to like her. 

“Oh, no. Definitely not,” Steve assured. “That ship sailed a long, long time ago.” 

“Good,” she replied. “Will I ever get to meet this mystery girl?”

Steve just shrugged, deciding it best to omit the fact that the “mystery girl” had lived across the street for eighteen years and swam in their pool every summer for a decade.

“You should invite her over for dinner some time,” his mother said. She leaned forward and pulled a piece of errant lint off of Steve’s shoulder with perfectly manicured nails. “I’ll roast a chicken. It’ll be nice.”

“She doesn’t eat chicken.”

“She doesn’t eat chicken?” she parroted back. “What kind of person doesn’t eat chicken?”

“She’s a vegetarian, mom,” he explained. 

“Ah,” his mom accepted. “Then I’ll make that broccoli cheddar casserole you like. You know, the one I make during Lent every year? Think she’d like that?”

“Yeah, I think she would.” Steve was trying his best to hide his smile, though he wasn’t doing it all that well.

“Alrighty.” She patted her son’s shoulder as she walked past him and gathered her purse. “Well, I have to go run some errands. You’re more than welcome to join me if you’d like.”

“No, thanks.”

“Right. You’re much too cool to tag along with mom to the grocery store. How could I have forgotten?”

“No! No, it’s not that, I-”

“I’m joking, Steve,” she assured with a smile. “Make sure that cup ends up in the dishwasher, okay? Not just in the sink.” 

“Dishwasher. Got it.”

“I love you! Don’t get into any trouble while I’m gone!”

With that, the heavy front door shut and Steve was plunged into the silence of deserted suburbia. 

You were at work, he had the day off with no plans, and the idea of being at all productive sounded absolutely exhausting. He finished his coffee in two big gulps and decided the best way to spend the day would be to crawl right back into bed and wallow in his feelings.

Steve had, very much on purpose, kept most of his thoughts about your current situation to himself. Partially because every time you two did start talking about it, you ended up a slushy pile of tears in his arms. The other reason, though, the bigger reason, was that he was terrified that you would put all of your own wants and wishes to the side and do whatever he wanted you to. The concept of you having a baby you didn’t want just to appease him made him sick to his stomach.

His parents only got married because his mom ended up pregnant at nineteen, and having a baby out of wedlock in 1967 was a social sin of the highest order. So they planned a wedding in two weeks time (a small family affair, exclusively to save face and avoid the questions that arise with courthouse ceremonies), and moved into a big, fancy house so that everyone knew the Harringtons were a normal, run-of-the-mill, perfect American family. His father loved to point out all of the things he didn’t get to do all because Steve came along and got in the way, and his mother. . . 

She loved him. He knew that. He also knew that she had to pack up her life to play house with a man she was always a little bit afraid of, all because of him. His father always resented him for it, but his mom never did. At the very least, she never told him she did. 

The thought of doing to you what his father did to his mom absolutely fucking terrified him, but ‘terrified’ had been his baseline state of being pretty much constantly over the past two weeks.

Steve was no stranger to fear. He’d had extensive experience with the feeling; that sharp heaviness that settled itself behind his ribs and sucked every drop of oxygen out of his lungs. When it came at him hard and fast, that was when he could handle it best. This was not that. This fear was slow and achy, all-encompassing. It sealed itself onto his bones, like some sort of emotional slime. Like a fungus.

And, honestly, most of that fear was for you, not him. The worst thing that could happen to him was that he could end up being a shitty father, and while he would hate that more than pretty much anything in the entire world, it did sort of pale in comparison to your worst case scenario. You could die.

Yeah, maybe he was being a little bit dramatic, but you still could. It wasn’t all that far outside of the realm of possibility. You were already horribly sick, you had been for the past few weeks, and while you had been taking the constant nausea and incessant dizzy spells like a fuckin’ champ, it wasn’t like a positive attitude would be able to save you if you started hemorrhaging. 

Steve really hoped, for your sake, that you had yet to go down this train of thought, but he knew you most likely had. As terrified for you as he was, he understood that you were probably feeling all of it tenfold.

And yet, behind all of that, he was having a very difficult time squashing that tiny inkling of reckless hope that had been planted in the back of his head. He was still a 21 year old dick-head who had zero business taking care of a baby, and he definitely wasn’t allowed to be excited about it. For, like, a million different reasons.

Eventually, he fell back into a heavy-limbed sleep, but was woken up however many hours later by the shrill ring of the phone. A bleary eyed glance at the clock on his bedside table told him it was just passed six o’clock. His mother should be back by now, right? He let it ring.

 A moment passed, and it rang once more. He debated for a moment if he even had the right to answer it anymore, but he begrudgingly pulled himself out of bed and picked it up anyway.

“Harrington Residence,” he grumbled, hoping whoever was on the other side could tell how frustrated he was to be awake. 

“Steve?” Your voice came through the line. It was strained, and he heard you trying your best to disguise the sobs coming from your throat. “It’s me.”

“Hey, woah, what’s going on? What happened?” he questioned, any annoyance gone. 

“Are you able to come pick me up?” you stuttered out between sniffles. “I’m at work. I-I have a flat tire.”

“Yeah, yeah. Of course I can,” he said.  

“Okay.”

“I’m on my way, alright? Five minutes, tops,” he told you. He had the earpiece of the phone tucked between his cheek and shoulder, and the cord was stretched as far as it could go to reach into his bedroom as he haphazardly swapped his flannel pajama bottoms for a pair of jeans.

“Thank you.” Another sob.

“You don’t have to thank me,” he insisted. “Hang tight, I’ll be right there.”

The rain had slowed back to a dismal drizzle that splashed into the puddles stretched across Steve’s driveway. The drive to the museum was usually short, but the evening rush (as if the barely-there Hawkins traffic could ever be called that) slowed him down just enough for it to be annoying. The museum had officially closed an hour ago, though stray patrons and evening administrative duties usually kept you back after hours. 

Steve saw you shivering underneath the awning that hung over the front doors, comparable to a lost kitten stuck in a thunderstorm. The shoulders of your sweater were soaked through, and as Steve pulled into the parking lot and stopped his car, he could see the angry black rivers of runny mascara that dribbled down your face. 

“What the hell are you doing waiting for me out here in the rain?” Steve asked as he jogged up to where you were standing. He removed his jacket and wrapped it around your shoulders. “Why aren’t you inside? It’s freezing.”

“That creepy research assistant is in there and I hate being in the same room as him when there’s nobody else around,” you choked out, syllables broken up by wracking sobs. 

“Alec?” Steve asked, and you nodded. He pulled you tightly against him before adding, “I’ll fuckin’ kill him.”

“Please don’t do that,” you squeaked. 

“Let’s change your tire, huh?” Steve said, though he made no move to let you go. “Do you have the spare?”

“That-” your words were cut off by a pitiful sniffle. “That is the spare.”

“Of course it is,” Steve sighed, though he most certainly should not have, because it just spurred on more crying from you. “Hey, it’s alright. I can take you home and we can get a new tire on it in the morning, okay?”

“I just had a really bad day,” you wept into his shoulder.

“I know, baby. It’s okay.”

“I spilled the hottest tea in the universe all over my legs,” you croaked. Steve winced at the image. 

“I’m sorry,” he said into the top of your head.

“And since it was so hot, I accidentally said ‘motherfucker’ in front of a tour group that consisted exclusively of second graders!” you added. Steve would have laughed at that if you weren’t so wildly upset. “And Creepy Alec was being creepy all day long-”

“My offer still stands.”

“And then I came out here and my fucking tire was fucking flat!” you exclaimed, punctuated by another bout of wailing, the kind that made your whole body shake and your voice stutter. Steve took it the best he could, petting the back of your head and holding you tight, wishing he could go into your brain and dig all of the bad bits out. 

“Let me get you home, and we can get you into some dry clothes and deal with your car in the morning, okay?”

“Okay,” you whimpered. 

Steve let you go, but when he went to pull you along to his car so the pair of you could leave, you stayed planted right where you were. You lifted your watery eyes to meet his, and he gazed at you from where he stood.

“Steve?” you quietly asked him. 

“Yeah?” Steve responded. A silence fell between the two of you, though the lazy rain and evening downtown traffic poked holes through it.

“I wanna keep the baby.”

You had this amazing talent of knocking the wind right out of his chest with only words alone.

“That-” came out of fucking nowhere, holy shit!, he didn’t add. “Really?”

“Yeah,” you muttered over a wobbly lip.

Steve was paralyzed. The soles of his shoes had been superglued to the pavement and his arms had been turned to stone. It was somehow both exactly what he did and did not want to hear all at the same time, because deep down in his gut he knew he wanted that too, but there was a laundry list of reasons why it was a bad idea, why it was irresponsible, why it was maybe everything he ever wanted, and- 

“Steve, if you don’t want to do this, that's okay, but I need you to tell me. Now.” Your voice, shaky and full of fear and yet so, so determined, pulled him up and away from his thoughts once again. 

“I do!” he exclaimed, maybe with a bit too much fervor. He regained his ability to move and closed the gap between the two of you in one wide step. “I do.”

You stood silent with your glassy eyes staring bullets into his. 

“Look, I’m gonna start talking, and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stop, so if it gets to be too much, just shut me up, okay?” Steve said. He brought his hands up to grace your shoulders.

“What?” you questioned, confusion laced throughout your miserable expression.

Steve had spent the last three and a half years doing everything he could to drown out the sounds of his feelings for you, and Robin was right. It was destroying his brain. 

“I’m really, really in love with you,” he said. “And I have been for a really, really long time. Since way before this, fuck, since before Starcourt, and I’m so fucking sorry for not having the guts to say it until now. I’m the universe’s biggest coward for that-”

“You are not a coward!”

“-And I know you deserve better, but for some reason that still eludes me, you’ve stuck with me through all the bullshit, anyway. You could’ve run away whenever you wanted to, you could’ve gone with your parents when they left, but you didn’t, and that has to mean something, right?”

“Steve,” you wept.

“I promise, there is nothing in this world that I want more than to do this with you, alright? Not a single fucking thing,” he assured you. “I meant what I said. Holding your hand the whole time.”

Steve took your trembling hand into his own, fingers fitting together like lock and key. 

“If you’ll have me,” he added.

Your lips wobbled, you let out another shattered sob, and you kissed him like it was the only thing keeping you alive. Like you would drop dead right on the spot if not for his lips on yours. Steve kissed back, because he knew he would drop dead if he didn’t, and now he had tears to match your own.

“I’m really, really in love with you, too,” you blubbered after the pair of you pulled apart. You had a hand on either side of his face, fingers ghosting over the junction of his jawline and neck, and Steve had his wrapped delicately around each wrist.

“You really wanna do this?” Steve asked you. “You really mean it? You’re not just saying it?”

“I really mean it,” you said definitively. You were still very much crying, though you were infinitely less miserable than you had been five minutes ago. The pair of you stayed swaying in each other's arms, protecting each other from the cold.

“Good, because I really mean it, too,” he responded. 

The thick, foggy haze of emotion was beginning to dwindle, and despite the warm bubble of affection the two of you had created, you were still standing out in the rain. And Steve was pretty sure he could see Creepy Alec spying on them through one of the second story windows.

“Let’s go home. I’ll make you dinner,” Steve murmured to you, and you nodded in agreement. 

Steve drove you both back to your apartment and made a feast of plain scrambled eggs and buttered toast, because it was all your stomach could really handle right now. Turns out, he very much was allowed to sleep in your bed with you, and after he’d finished doing the dishes in the sink, he joined you under the pile of blankets that adorned your mattress. Your cat curled itself up at the end of the bed as you drew yourself into his side. He didn’t remember you being this cuddly, but it was a change he was more than happy to welcome.

After a few minutes, when he’d thought you had fallen asleep, your voice pierced through the quiet of your bedroom.

“You’re gonna be someone's dad,” you muttered into his pajamas. Fuck. He was, wasn’t he?

“You’re gonna be someone’s mom,” he shot back.

“Weird,” you responded. “I think you’ll be really good at it.”

“You think so?”

“Mhm. Definitely.”

And of course Steve was still fucking terrified. Terrified of the monsters, and of his dad, and of all the different ways this could go south, but he had you tucked up against his chest, and he was gonna be someone’s dad, and he couldn’t really bring himself to care about any of the scary stuff. In this moment, for the first time in as long as Steve could really remember, the underlying current of fear that ran along his thoughts was finally overpowered by just how much he fucking adored you.

Tiny Little Taglist: @sheisjoeschateau @hazydespair @damon-loves-pie @pariahsparadise @anislabonis-love @e0509 @alexa4040 @starsforviolet @jennaaaaaaaaaaaa @plk-18 @hoesbloated

#stranger things #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x female reader #steve harrington x you #joe keery #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fic #stranger things x reader #stranger things x y/n #stranger things fanfic #stranger things x you #stranger things imagines #steve harrington imagines #steve harrington x f!reader

[lfghughes]

Sad fic with Jack using Breathe by Lauv? Apparently I want to hurt my own feelings with this request

a/n: the way i want to cry so much right now. don't worry you're not the only one who enjoys hurting their own feelings.

Things had been off for a while and Jack just didn’t know how to bring it up. He had figured the feeling would go away but instead it only felt heavier each week. He knew she had noticed and the fact that she noticed and still tried her best every day to make him feel better only hurt more. She didn’t deserve any of this and yet she put up with it every day. Jack stirred in the bed, partly not wanting to get up but he knew he had things he needed to get done today.

Next to him he felt his girlfriend stir and when she realized he was awake she scooted closer in the bed. His arms went around her as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Good morning.” He whispered into her hair. If he could stay like this forever he would. This was the girl who taught him how to love, who was his everything, yet right now he had never felt emptier in life and he didn’t know how to even begin explaining that.

She always noticed everything and lately she had been walking on eggshells around him and he felt like he was doing the same so they could avoid the conversation that was needed to be had. “Is everything okay?” She whispered, a tone of caution in her voice. It’s not a question she wanted to ask because if anything she was terrified of the answer. Things weren’t okay, that had become obvious. “Everything is fine.” He promised, hating himself more for lying. “I have to get some things done today but I’ll see you at the game later. You can take my car, I’ll ride with Dawson and then after I’ll ride home with you.”

The rest of the day went by fine except as more of the day passed the more Jack knew he needed to do something or say something. They couldn’t keep living the way they were. His mind was so unfocused on everything that he could barely concentrate at the game too. They won but he didn’t feel like he put up a good performance and he was sure the critics would have plenty to say on social media later about him. But right now he didn’t even care what was said about him. “I’ll meet you at the car.” He quickly texted his girlfriend.

After he got done in the locker room, he made his way out to the parking lot and slid into the drivers side of his car. He turned slightly in the car and a small painful sigh fell from his mouth. “Jack, please don’t.” The minute the words came out of her mouth Jack could feel his heart shatter. Of course she knew what was coming, she always knew what he felt and what he was thinking. He had to look away because he couldn’t see the river that was growing in her eyes. Placing his head into his hands he tried his best to hold back his own tears.

“I’m so sorry.” The words were painful to say and he meant every bit of them but sorry wasn’t going to fix this pain in either of them. “I just…I need room to breathe and really think. You deserve so much better than this and than me.” This time he looked up, knowing it would hurt to look at her but she deserved at least someone who could look her in the face while saying this. “Jack, I want you.” At her words he shook his head.

“For right now I think this is what we have to do. Maybe one day if I figure myself out we can try again but right now I really just need to breathe.” He hated himself, he hated himself too much right now but he needed this, they needed this and maybe one day they’d come back together and be even better. “I’m going to drive you back to our place, don’t worry about moving out. The place is yours for as long as you want it. I’ll stay with Luke for a bit.”

The drive back home was miserable, Jack wanted nothing more than to comfort her as she cried in the passenger seat but there was nothing he could do. Once they were back home, he went inside to grab a few things he would need for the night. “Please don’t leave.” She begged, tears still flowing from her eyes as he froze at the door. “Baby..” He walked over, knowing this wouldn’t make it better. His hand cupped the back of her head, bringing her forward until she hit his chest. “I love you okay, everything I ever said to you was true and everything we felt for each other was real. I just need to figure myself out.” He placed a kiss on the top of her head and before he could convince himself otherwise he walked out of their place.

#jack hughes blurb #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes #( breathe ft jack hughes )

[brokenjere]

details (a seventeen going under story)(j.f)(ch.1)

details (a seventeen going under story)

a/n: hello everyone!! i hope you all enjoy this new story. It's a continuation of seventeen going under, so if you haven't read that yet I encourage you to do so! I'm trying to follow the story line of book/season 2 but obviously, it's going to be different. Let me know what you all think!!

Susannah died at the beginning of June. The call came late one night as I was fast asleep, but Jeremiah’s empty breathing woke me up. I immediately knew something was wrong and ran next door without putting any shoes on. The boys were sitting on the couch in the dark not speaking. They looked like statues, I thought at that moment. Little wax figures forever frozen in time when their mom was still alive, but they were not. They were alive. 

They both turned to look at me when the front door swung shut. Jeremiah’s eyes were puffy and red. Neither of them looked like they had gotten any sleep for days, maybe. We all knew it was coming soon - her death. She was slowly getting worse and worse, it was only a matter of time. I kissed Jeremiah in the doorway as he left for the hospital to see her. Neither of us knew it would be the last time he saw her. If I had known, I’d have kissed him a little harder. 

If I had known that everything would change that night, I would have hugged him a little bit harder. I would have locked him in the house and not let him leave. I would have strapped our ankles together so that he could never leave me, but he did. He did leave me. And now, I’m sitting on the back porch watching the rain poor down flooding the grass. 

“Dinner is ready,” my mom calls from inside of the kitchen. She always likes to keep the back door open when it rains. “Come inside before you get a cold.”

“It’s too warm out for me to get a cold,” I tell her once I’m inside. She pushes a plate toward me on the counter with a sad smile. She’s been pitying me for weeks it feels like. Always giving me sad smiles and hugging me for longer than normal. Shouldn’t she be the one grieving? She lost her best friend. She watched her person die right in front of her eyes and she’s the one comforting me? I pick at the chicken with my fork but don’t eat it. “I’m not hungry.” 

“You have to eat something.” My dad comes in from the other room, kissing the top of my head once before rounding the island and kissing my mom on the cheek. She leans into him and my stomach turns. 

“I ate lunch.” I push the plate away. “I’m just going to go to sleep.” I can feel both of them watching me as I walk away with their sad eyes and wallowing stares. Being upstairs doesn’t make me feel much better. He’s all over the place up here. His clothes are in my closet, his shoes under my bed, and the notebook he gave me on the desk. I flip it open to the last page. Big, white, and empty. I’ve been meaning to pack up all his stuff for weeks now, but I can’t bring myself to do it. One minute I was packing for Cousins and the next Susannah is dead and Jeremiah is no longer my Jeremiah.

My phone starts to ring in my hand. I know who it is before I even look at the screen so I answer it, but I don’t speak. “Y/N,” he says softly. “I can hear you breathing.” I lay back on my bed and try to stop breathing. I hold my breath until my lungs start to burn. “Did you eat today?” 

“Don’t start doing that,” I whisper. 

“Doing what?” 

“Talking to my mom and checking up on me. She already talks to me like she’s walking on eggshells I don’t need you to do it now, too. You’re the one grieving.” I can picture Conrad now, rolling his eyes because all he ever does is care for other people he couldn’t imagine not doing it. Not even now. “I should be asking you if you’re eating.” 

“I ate a burger about 30 minutes ago. I can feel it traveling through my digestive tract as we speak,” he says. I can hear the smile on his face. 

“Good.” Conrad calls me every day at the same time for the last month. Sometimes we sit in silence and sometimes we don’t but he never hangs up first. It’s been exactly 32 days since I’ve seen Jeremiah. 32 days since I have heard his voice, although Conrad’s is similar. Similar but not the same. 32 days since I have felt his hands on me and exactly 30 days since his mother’s funeral and 28 days since Susannah died. My mom keeps telling me that time heals all wounds but how can I believe her when I feel like it just keeps getting worse and worse?

“When are you coming back to visit? They’re doing prospective student tours next week. Figured you could come then and tag along.” he suggests. It’s been a while since I’ve been out of the house and I think he knows that. He’s been trying to get me to visit him at school for weeks now but I keep blowing him off. I shouldn’t be, I know that but the thought of leaving the perimeter of my house feels very similar to dying. 

 “I’ll think about it,” I tell him. “Look, I should probably-” 

“Jeremiah asked about you.” We both say the same time. His words stop me in more ways then

one. I sit up and grip my phone harder. My voice stops, my breathing stops, and I’m pretty sure my heart stops. 

“What did he say?” My voice cracks and I clear my throat. “What did he want?” 

“He asked me how you were doing,” he tells me. “He asked me if you ask about him.” 

“Did you tell him that I don’t?” I don’t recognize my own voice. I keep talking about him to a minimum because when I do, it feels like my entire body is falling apart. Conrad sighs on the other side of the phone and he doesn’t reply. “What did you tell him?” 

“I told him that you were.” he hesitates. “That you were you. You were okay.” I stop myself from picturing how he was doing in that house all alone. Just him and Adam. I have to stop myself because if I’m afraid of what will happen if I don’t. “You were going to tell me that you’re hanging up, right? Before I said that.”

“Yes.” 

“Don’t hang up yet, okay?” His voice cracks so I don’t hang up. I don’t hang up for what feels like hours but we sit together all night long until eventually I fall asleep listening to him breathing. 

When Susannah got really sick, the worse I’ve ever seen her, being around the house was hard. Conrad hardly seemed to be around. It was his first year at Brown, so we all let it slide when he didn’t come home on weekends or make it to her doctor’s appointments. Jeremiah or my mom always took her. Laurel came down a lot, too but Jeremiah always got the worst of it it seemed like. One day, I came over to find him with his head in a pile of bills. 

“That’s not your responsibility,” I told him when he told me that he was sorting through the bills and trying to pay them off. 

“It’s just one less thing she has to worry about, you know? Conrad isn’t going to do it.” His voice was tense and unlike the Jeremiah that I loved. I put my hand on his shoulder and kissed the top of his head. 

“You have a dad,” I reminded him. He half smiled at me and took my hand off his shoulder. He held it tightly and kissed my knuckles. “Lets go get some food,” I suggested. “We can bring your mom home something.” 

“Normal food makes her nauseous.” There was a lot of things Susannah couldn’t do anymore. She barely could get out of bed. It was like seeing a stranger toward the end. She still smelled the same, her smile was still the same. She said all the things that Susannah said but she wasn’t Susannah. She wasn’t dancing around the house with the radio on in her apron. She wasn’t gardening in the backyard with dirt on her cheek. She was living off of saltine crackers and chicken noodle soup. 

“Then we’ll bring her back a cup of water. Come on.” I grabbed his hand and pulled him away from the dinning room table. I felt guilty sometimes. Taking Jeremiah away from his mom like that but he didn’t deserve to sit here and grieve her before she was already gone while Conrad was off living his life. Sometimes I found him smiling. A real smile, the kind you only get when you’re really, really happy. His eyes would light up and he’d be him again. But then, everything hits him all at once and he’s sad again. 

He almost didn’t even go to prom with me. We had everything planned. Susannah even picked out the corsage but at the last minute he showed up at my door crying. “How can I go out and have fun while my mom is dying?” He said through his tears. I didn’t have an answer to that so I just let him cry but the next night, he showed up in his suit and tie with the corsage in his hand and it was perfect. It felt like nothing had changed. 

But of course, everything was changing.

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