#I haven’t actually been studying

[addictivities]

oh

#study #listen ive been having like a very chaotic time trying to balance life and work and excersie and art and it’s very hard sometimes #I would like to have had opened commissions a few weeks ago but im scared im just going to be too stressed to actually perfom correctly doi #doing them so I haven’t really opened yet #im not sure if there’s any of you guys waiting or if it’s even ok for me to like take my time to figure it out and like actually rest a #little bit #anyway here’s the situation #I honestly feel like this

[lerildeal]

Just some fish

#my art #traditional art #fish #fish art #the names of these fish in particular order are #giant gourami #and #gourami #just like #a regular one #Maybe Ill actually post stuff through out the month after I make it?? #or maybe Ill take this month to post all my old stuff #Or most likely I wont post anything at all #i’ve been doing mostly studies and stuff that I don’t think people here really care about #It’s mostly finished pieces and doodles on this website with the occasional WIP #or at least that’s what I want my blog to be #Maybe Ill get back into digital? #haven’t done any of that in a long while #idk options are there

[paperglader]

I miss her 😞 (fictional character imogen temult from critical role)

#it’s been too long #also it’s been three weeks and they’ve gone by way too fast #they’ve been packed with studying for finals and spending my first Christmas away from my family #but now it’s getting closer to going back to BH and it feels like she shortest time and also the longest drought #no no no but actually I haven’t screamed about the fact that she took away the circlet in off #i am CONCERNED and it’s been 3 weeks #critical role #imogen temult #bells hells #c3 #campaign 3 #laura bailey

[vampyriix]

He is so lame

#and I love him for it #I haven’t done any sorta study type things in a while and I’ve actually been enjoying these #I’m maybe gonna do one or two more so I rlly get his appearance down yknow #renfield #renfield 2023 #renfield fanart #Dracula #r m renfield #my art

[liones-s]

a grey day to write inside

#haven’t been here in ages and forgot how lovely it is #the drinks are so so good #though I do have to finish my actual job work before I can write much #studyblr #study inspo #study motivation #light academia #productivity #cafe #coffee shop

[raksh-writes]

Maybe this doesn’t need to be said, but Im feeling awful about it, so -- to any mutuals that might notice Im not following them anymore, I'm sorry about that. I've just seen too many posts on my dash that I have no way of blocking because they're not tagged in any way and they're distressing enough it's turning one of the only places I considered a safe space not safe for me anymore. So for my own mental health, I had to unfollow. I Will refollow in the future and I still love y'all, but I just-- I can’t. Ive been noticing some very worrying stuff about my mental and emotional state and it's just too much currently. I hope it's at least an understandable decision, and I wish y'all are having a good day out there 💗

#personal #I know its important to keep up with current events #but life overall's been a bit too much for me lately #I should prob go back to my therapist #I haven’t seen her since I went back to uni #for one because I didn’t know my schedule when we last meet and we both thought this should balance me #finally having purpose again and doing what I actually enjoy #but I also don’t have a job now so its costs and... I don’t know #but I probably should now that Im thinking maybe its time to actually get medicated for real #tho first maybe I should just visit my family doc and ask for those vit d supplements my therapists talked about #see if thats gonna be enough #autumn (and winter) has always been an awful time for me in terms of mental and emotional health #but it feels even worse these days #like Im battling against depression every day recently and rarely anything works to distract me #which is why its been hard to get back to peels in dms and such too #I was meant to meet with a friend now that Im studying in a city she lives in but I have yet to get back to her #and it feels like I have not only Zero but like Negative energy and motivation #+ Ive been dealing with an upset stomach for Weeks now #no matter what I eat it feels weird and achy and barely anything tastes good for me already so now its even worse #anyway this turned into such a rant Im sorry #I just didn’t want the lovely peeps Ive been mutuals with for a long time to think I stopped liking them or smth #its just certain untagged posts that I would otherwise block if I could #and I dont wanna impose onto anyone like a 'rule' to tag them or whatever #so yeah this is just temporary #hopefully at some point I get better enough to survive the couple distressing posts heh...

[babacontainsmultitudes]

AIAJBDJSKAKFNDKLSBFKDK FUUUUCK (<- fucker who just finished a 10 page report)

#Delete later #fucking shit #and I have to do this again in a few days #I need a drink #If this was actually the end of my studies it’d be fine tbh #But I start my master’s like right after this #Like RIGHT after this #And I literally #I literally just don’t want to anymore #If it were starting in the Fall I’d prolly be fine #But I literally can’t y’all #I wanna get my degree and not look at a computer for the next year #I want to touch grass and kiss my friends (my irl friends who I miss so much!!!) and drink and swim and walk til my feet hurt #I’m so tired!!! #I’m so fucking tired!!!!!! #Phew #don’t mind me don’t mind me #Haven’t been in a very good spot mentally lately I’ll admit #Everything is a lot #*sigh* everything is a lot

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

i’m so frustrated with people’s lack of common sense about wildlife. if you’re interacting with wildlife, you’re not having your disney princess moment. you’re not forming a magical bond. that’s a wild animal who is potentially terrified; maybe it’s curious if it’s young enough, but that just means you should minimise interactions as much as possible to make sure that animal lives a normal life. if your kid comes in holding a wild animal, don’t pick up your fucking phone to videotape it. bring the animal back outside and educate your kid to leave animals alone. you know what happens when you take in wildlife as a “pet”? either you keep it and do damage because even though it’s “tame” it’s a wild animal who is in no way meant to live in that setting unless it’s being kept by a trained and licensed rehabber who knows the housing and feeding requirements (and even then i’ve seen some who are keeping animals irresponsibility), or it ends up at a wildlife rehab when you inevitably harm it enough that you don’t know what to do, or when no vets see you, or when the animal becomes too aggressive for you to handle. and then we either figure out how to rehabilitate an animal whose temperament and/or body you have massively damaged or we euthanise it because the damage is too extensive. start treating wildlife like wild animals rather than a dog or cat. they’re not pets, they’re not domesticated, leave them alone and let them live happy lives as they’re supposed to.

#saw a video of someone’s kid bringing in a baby raccoon and holding it to her chest. what the FUCK are you thinking #‘it’s mine now it’s my pet’ and everyone in the comments is going ‘you heard her that’s her pet now’. fuck all the way off #not only does that harm the animal but that makes it very possible for animals to spread diseases to you or your actual pets #not to mention parasites and fleas #there was one the other day of someone getting a rabbit out of a skate park which is good thanks for helping it. but then the person spent #another 5 or 10 minutes interacting with it and petting it. that’s not a pet store bunny that’s a wild animal and it’s absolutely terrified #im not saying learn body language and temperament and shit for a bunch of different animals im saying have some common sense and leave #wildlife alone. look but don’t touch. if an animal looks to be in distress then contact a local wildlife rehab or any rehab at all and ask #for advice. if there’s a rehab near you then see if you can bring the animal in #if you try to do that shit yourself you can do irreparable damage #it’s all fun and games and ‘oh im keeping it as a pet’ until the animal is malformed and has broken bones and infected wounds or is so #aggressive that it’s taking chunks out of people with no warning #‘this wild animal andomly attacked someone for no reason!’ you see how it’s overweight? people have probably been feeding it and when that #person didn’t have food it jumped on them #someone’s gonna do this shit with a ‘sick bird they plan to nurse back to health’ and get fucking bird flu #im just tired i haven’t been working with wildlife for a year and am going to study wildlife and work with them for the rest of my life for #this shit to keep happening. i know it will but im just tired of seeing it over and over again #my post #y’all can rb if you want im just pissed and on my soapbox

[deancaskiss]

today is the day besties I am going to beat this writers block into the ground and I WILL do some writing today even if I have to pull out the writing whip to do it

#baz’s babbling #gonna make it happen #I’ve been so stuck because of studying and stressing over vet thing #I haven’t found happiness in writing in so long #today is the day that I get back to writing. even if it’s just a few hundred words #we’re getting back on this bitch and we are getting some writing done and posting a new fic soon. mark my words. it’s gonna happen #also maybe because I feel guilty because y’all follow me for my writing and I haven’t posted anything since Valentine’s Day #also a writer isn’t a writer if they aren’t writing… I’m just a wannabe writer who doesn’t actually write anything

[sunglassesmish]

i literally fell asleep at 6am thinking oh i’m not going to school anyways so who cares if i wake up late. then my dad calls at 8am saying he’s waiting in his car to take me even though i didn’t even tell him my holiday was over and now i’ve been here 3 hours and still have 2 left

#i keep yawning but i’m not. actually tired #i’m probably going to sleep when i get home anyways #but being at uni reminded me that i need to start studying because i don’t wait to fail this year and i haven’t #been here in person in 2 months 😖

[beardedeldridge]

https://t.me/libraryofdos

Check the tags for other channels.

#for all of your magickal literature needs #just remember to actually buy the book and support the authors #if this is posting it means I haven’t been active on here for a bit. #library of dos - occultism esotericism magick books & grimoires - magi realm - libraries of magick - serpents keep channel #old vk library of dos - library of magi - hidden one’s library - hora da magia - magick matters #there are several more #there are a lot of quasi- magic practitioners out there - so don’t listen to them about what you can or should or can’t or shouldn’t do #how you work with spirits only really matters to you and the spirits - don’t be an asshat but as long as you’re getting #The results and they’re not - guess who’s actually more right - somehow magic stopped #being about doing magic and started resembling some kind of weird clique #did the practitioners of old walk through the countryside asking for permission to practice their craft? #yeah I doubt it too #push the boundaries push your craft push yourself and find out what you’re capable of #if you don’t know what to do then just try something - you’ll figure it out #magic ends up being a very personal spiritual pursuit - so in someways you’re going to be on your own - so be good with being on your own #have some fire and a bit of force of nature about you - be different #magick #magic #grimoire tradition #lessons and magickal studies #winter solstice #happy birthday to me #I bid you all a fond farewell.

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

On the one hand I think it would be really funny if one of my posts blew up, but on the other hand I’d be more self conscious and I am almost certain that people would be annoying with me about veganism. There are literally blogs dedicated to countering dumb arguments and they are so much more eloquent than me. Acti-veg is right there you don’t need to pester me about it, they can word things a million times better than my clumsy ass. I don’t even post about veganism 24/7. It’s in my description because I do post about it, but i reblog memes more than anything else. I do wish I was better at debating for the sake of all the important things I care about. I care about humans as well, and no, those two aren’t mutually exclusive, I say this to people who resist animal rights because they think you can’t do that and care about human rights AND to vegans who, understandably, have become very disillusioned with the current dominant human cultures and outlooks on the treatments of animals. It’s always hard when you see something that is everywhere and is fucked up. It can be hard to not feel only bitterness and despair. For people who aren’t vegan, it could be compared to realizing how fucked up capitalism is and being surrounded by people who defend the system, even people who are hurt by it (so, real life). I can point people in the direction of others who are better at communicating (whenever I have a singular person who comes to mind first, so many things have so many people that I have trouble thinking of just one. Veganism is so weirdly shit upon on this website though that I can think of blogs specifically dedicated to it with far more ease) I didn’t decide to just go vegan on a whim. Going vegetarian was an easy choice to me, but the culture of using animals is so ubiquitous that I myself resisted veganism for quite awhile. This didn’t pop out of nowhere. I gradually noticed things until I went “what I’m doing is actually pretty fucked up and I can stop doing so many of these things” to minimize the amount of harm you do whenever it’s possible and can be done in practice. It’s not some crazy definition, it’s not some unattainable philosophy to do your best to live by, the official definition doesn’t say “stop taking your medication” but you can try to buy things without animal products or testing when I comes to like, shampoo. If you are like “but I don’t have options when it comes to shampoo!” Is there literally anything else you can change? That is what it’s about. The thing is, a lot of people can change more than they expect they can. I can’t show up at your house, look through your budget, check every store you can shop at, but if you can do even a little of that some time, you are at least doing better and are closer to doing everything you can in your own life. If you want to get more defensive and go “what about this person who isn’t me” or “what about this thing I haven’t really thought about for more than a literal minute” whatever it is, it has probably been addressed by someone who actually has a better way with words than me. I won’t just shut up about everything I care about, but I won’t pretend that whatever it is hasn’t already been addressed by a million people who are better than me, and you just don’t care enough to listen to them.

This has turned into me rambling but I am so so tired of encountering the same arguments a million times by people who think that they have some hot new take, and I know I’d have so many people doing that if I got more popular on main. I don’t really mind more people finding me funny or being exposed to a new idea by seeing something I’ve posted or shared, but I am fucking tired of being expected to be some professional or even amateur debater because I care about something and share that person’s post. I know some people are going to dismiss me because of that, but it has already been addressed by a million people better at doing it than me, and whoever is talking to me probably wouldn’t even listen to that anyway. It’s like someone asking you about “why is capitalism bad” and you have seen whatever they throw at you hundreds of times and you know a fuck tonne of people have already explained why capitalism bad. It’s just that whoever it is wants you, just some guy, to explain it and explain it better than you, a random meme guy who cares about things but isn’t practiced in explaining more than the definition of an English word or something.

#emma posts #I mean. I can probably explain more things than a word but I think that gets the point across #I’m so fucking tired of this #if you haven’t actually read up on multiple better communicating activists #then random tumblr free time funny blog is certainly not enough to convince anyone #veganism #would you take ‘criticism’ if it’s criticism that has already been addressed a million times #and that you have explained in real life and been ignored about? #you can lead a horse to water but if the horse wants to ignore the stuff you can’t do anything about it #maybe I should get a book recommendation list ready #but then people would ask for studies #and then they wouldn’t care to look at the studies #and as much as I care I can’t do this over and over again online #it’s one thing to talk about it in person with someone you know #it’s another thing to have the same thing thrown at you over and over again online by people who don’t care to listen anyway #you do your gotcha and leave #turning off re-blogs because this is personal #I’m ready to be deliberately misinterpreted

[pussy-ache]

#bpd #could be trauma. could be an overproduction of cortisol affecting my pituitary gland #and it’s a catch 22 for me because (if i truly have BPD) i can’t accurately assess my behaviors #like. i’d like to THINK i’m not a manipulative person but what if i am? how can i trust that i haven’t been fooling myself? #and hurting other people in the process? #but i also don’t like being the center of attention. but maybe i’m manipulative in worse ways #i also fit everything for regular BPD. not just the impulsive subtype #like i do actually believe i have this the vast majority of the time. there’s just not much that can be done #it’s like … ‘’here’s this awful terrible personality disorder. you got it. it’s a list of shit that makes you an awful person. have fun!’’ #like it’s not something that i can personally investigate very often #so many studies i’ve read conclude with shit like ‘’yea this group of people sucks just like we thought. can’t trust them & there’s no cure #and i’m terrified to even ask for medical help anyway cuz it’s also one of the most stigmatized mental disorders to be diagnosed with #right up there on the same level of stigmitization that schizophrenia gets — which also runs in my family incidentally #and my family members who developed it did so in their 30s-50s …. symptoms didn’t start until super late #consistently afraid of my own mind and personality with nowhere to turn. i can’t subject that on anyone. #which proves the inabilily to retain long lasting meaningful relationships correct #i have a history of dipping early #and i’ve been called cold and distant in a relationship. i retain too much independence. #superficial stings a little #all my life it’s like ‘’wow i feel a lot. i might be an empath’’ #and in reality it’s ‘’no actually. i have a personality disorder that amounts to me being an overbearing crappy person that feels a lot.’’ #here’s some studies that prove that #i’m just a very. very. very. tired person #sigh

[astridthevalkyrie]

my mom finds it very hard to believe that I would be tired after waking up at 6:45 AM to go work and coming back at 7:45 PM and believes that I am just, quote, “being lazy”

#i haven’t had a good cry in a while I think tonight’s as good a night as any #it’s so strange how quickly this spirals into other thoughts #like. my mother is not inherently wrong about me being lazy #I don’t even make time to do things that I want to do #I procrastinate on everything #sometimes I’m too lazy to even shower or eat #do I think that is definitely bc something is up with me mentally? #yes but since I graduated I have had no time nor energy to find a therapist #I’m stuck in this cycle of not getting enough sleep bc I have to wake up early but #I don’t sleep early because I relish the time of night when I’m the only one awake and no one is talking to me #I’m on marriage apps because my parents want me married but I have not found a single guy that I would work with #and a part of me feels like it’s because I act difficult on purpose #I don’t WANT to get married because I am 21 and I want to date and have my first kiss and. that stuff #but I can’t because that’s not halal or whatever tf I’m tired #I want to do skincare and get better at makeup and taking care of myself but every day my bed is just the best thing in the world #I get stomach aches like all the time and I don’t eat properly #i am in a much better place mentally than I have been in years and yet I am still stuck in this maddening phase #i have to wait until I absolutely have to get up bc nothing actually makes me want to wake up and go through the day #my lsat score came back and it was worse than my first time #and of COURSE it was I didn’t study bc between a hellish last semester and a new job #it wasn’t gonna happen #and now I’m considering not even going to law school bc do I really want to work and study at the same time #but then do I really wanna be in tech forever?? #I’m gonna go shower might follow up later idk

[chemicalpink]

Someone was just asking me if with BTS going to the White House they were set to use their diplomatic passports.

So let me tell you something, chances are they don’t have diplomatic passports anymore (and that’s fine)

Here’s the reasoning behind it:

1. They were under the legal figure of ‘presidential envoys’ meaning that their appointment was closely tied to the administration, by general rule in diplomacy, whatever happens during an administration gets overruled as soon as the next administration comes, especially in SK’s legal system. There no big news or really anything cause it’s just- a sort of expiration.

2. The figure wasn’t just ‘presidential envoys’ but ‘presidential special envoys’ which adds to the mix a certain something bureaucratic-wise. What we call a diplomatic mission. So in order for them to get diplomatic passports, they would have had to fill a form stating what exact activities they were going to do outside of Korea, set limits to what they were using their passports for, which in this case was the UNGA, ‘special envoys’ are temporary appointments and are over as soon as their tasks are done, so chances are- even if they get to keep their passports, they can’t really use them since they were valid solely for the previously mentioned activity.

But wait— they were invited by the White House, they should be given special treatment!

Eh…. Not really, common law works differently in a lot of ways (diplomacy-wise) and it would be hard to really understand this via Tumblr but basically protocol/diplomacy is only applicable when we are talking State-level diplomacy, BTS aren’t attending the WH as Korea’s official representatives, but as an influential entity that is part of the international community, relevant for the specific event due to the fact that they are Asian.

But- we would have known if their diplomatic passports were revoked.

Nope, diplomatic relations are air-tight, and having a diplomatic passport revoked due to administrative reasons is no biggie it’s just like a driver license expiring. Except you can’t really just get another one easily whenever you’d like to. Or get as many as you’d like over your lifetime, there’s counted times you can be politically appointed without being a government official via merit. But hey, if the new administration ever wants to use them as a soft power tool, we’ll get to see them have a pretty ceremony again

#a smol rant bc this person really tried to fight me on this one #and I had to actually read SK legislation to make sure I wasn’t spitting lies #as if I haven’t been specialising in SK diplomatic relations for the past few months #then again I’m too tired and busy to try and look for the official statement from last year #anddd it might not actually contain the terms since those tend to be government-only #but hey #at least to my understanding #studying and practice in the matter #it works like that

[jujuubee]

Sometimes I really do wonder if I’m going into the right field. Bc it’s like, I’m very desensitized to absolutely horrible things occurring bc of my job & having to study some of the worst crimes in history but then it’s like, I get to a case every now and then & mt stomach hurts so bad and I feel such grief over what happened. And I can’t get it out of my head for days. Some of the crime scene photos are still burned into my brain. And it’s just like, how much more desensitized do I need to be 😭 and is that even healthy? You need to have some capability of emotion to do this effectively but bro, emotions have to completely shut off after some point when all you are surrounded by on a daily basis is just the worst shit possible

#but then it’s like #this is also my passion and I can’t see myself doing anything else #but if I sit across from these people in some of these truly visceral cases #knowing it’s my job to try and help them #idk #idk how you’d do rhat #especially considering you can’t show any emotion toward their action #how do I listen to that shit w a straight face #and it’s like in my life rn #I’ll study or encounter the most fucked up traumatic and brutal crime #and I won’t feel better until I talk about it #but I don’t want to hurt the people around me bc if it’s bothering me it’ll defirjelt bother them #& even if I got a therapist for purely this reason #95% of clinicians don’t do forensic work and have a very low threshold for this kinda stuff so I’d feel bad to tell them too #so what now 😭 #toughen up I guess LMFAO #doing a paper on a crime that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about for probably 6 months now #and while doing the research required I’m finding out about equally horrible and sometimes even worse crimes #and I keep having to take breaks (besides just from my adhd) bc it’s actually so heinous to keep reading and seeing and having to #write academically about #so I guess I’ll kill myself!! #in aboht 3hrs of tryna do this rn I’ve probably only actually worked for 30-45mins