#I haven’t done that in so fucking long

[crazymecjc]

pandora hearts doodles bc I’m feeling Wild about them

#pandora hearts #oof my art I guess #nothing like a good manga panel redraw #i love all of them so much they’re so fucked up #xerxes break #reim lunettes #oswald baskerville #jack vessalius #gilbert nightray #they’re all just so so babygirl to me #today I give you niche content. tomorrow? the same #i haven’t done traditional art in so so long but I’m glad I got back into her for a second I kinda think these slap #also I have like three different comic wips but the new blorbos take precedence shoutout my friend for showing me them

[symbiotic-slime]

started making venom themed tarot cards and then realized, to my dismay, that I’m having creation ideas beyond my skill level

#oh well we shall proceed #I haven’t drawn a human in like 6 months but I won’t let that stop me #I’ll post each card when they are done but this is gonna take me so fucking long #ramblings

[parkitaco]

one of these days i will wrangle this fic into something coherent but today it is just Vibes

#cringefail fic tag #<- i’ve been working on this for so fucking long oh my god #the springtime fic that i started in the spring in celebration of springtime. it is now nearly october. sigh. #and yes ik i just posted a fic literally 12 hours ago but i haven’t done a wip wednesday in forever and i missed it :( #miwip wednesday #byler #will byers #mike wheeler

[artificial-condition]

I’m going to Perish I’ve started a reread of murderbot but with the audiobooks and oh. Oh boy. Oh geez Louise. Oh gosh. Oh my god

#my thoughts #SCREAMING JAHSHEBDHEJXBDHDGSGAJBAGSGXHSJX CBJENSKXUXNWSBXJDNSIWOCHDNWK #ITS SO GOOD #I HAVENT HAD THIS MUCH SERATONIN IN I DOMT KNOW HOW LONG AJAHDUSHHSHZUXBDJD #LITERALLY SCREAMJNG CRYING THEOWING IP ITS SO GOID OH MY GOD #I’ve never listened to the audiobooks it’s so well done. adds a dimension I haven’t experienced before it feels like New Murderbot Content #AUGHHAGHHGHHHHHHHHH #murderbot my beloved #I’m so fucking autistic. thank you Murderbot for being like me

[shirtlessradfahrer]

So what do you do when your favourite rapper makes a catchy song about the hardships of life that you want to love but upon release can’t connect with at all and after a few listens almost outright dislike because none of the pain and hardship life has put you through has ever made you a better person or given you the energy/motivation to do better and it actually just did the complete opposite and you’ve lost out on precious years of your life and so many opportunities while trying to process the trauma and undo the damage

But everyone else seems to love the song to the point that you start to wonder if maybe you’re just a fucking idiot for not being able to make something good out of said trauma and hardship instead of just being filled with crippling anxiety and depression and bitterness and grief and rage

#käärijä #yes this is about ruoska #the mental health tanked again this week #sorry to put my ramblings in the main tag but I need someone to tell me I’m not insane for being so uncomfortable with the song #I’ve been nervous to say my full thoughts because people loved it so much and I didn’t want to rain on their parade #and the umk performance and mv were genuinely well done #but it just really hurts #if the metaphorical whip that hurt me was a tangible item I’d fucking shred the thing to pieces #and then burn the remains #so that no one else could ever suffer the same way again #it didn’t push me through life #it made me want to give up on it completely #I’ve been at my happiest and most driven and most fulfilled when I finally got a fucking break from it #one of the opening lines about sitting at the gas station actually triggered a really fucking bad memory I would have loved to forget #it fucking sucks because his songs have brought me so much happiness #a kind I haven’t felt in a long time #and then there’s….this #if nothing else I wanted to love it for Erika’s sake #but I just can’t #am I just misinterpreting the lyrics? #or projecting too much #I probably am #because god I am NOT looking forward to hearing it all though Kä summer camp #and i hate that

[pepprs]

like it just happened out of nowhere and i didn’t back anything up so the whole thing is gone. and the whole game itself is gone too and i can’t redownload it because the eshop is dead. five years of that town. it’s stupid but ive been playing acnl so much lately and i was so fucking close to getting katrina and upgrading the shop fully and it’s all just gone forever. benjamin and eunice. my rooms that i decorated and was so proud of and i wasn’t even done expanding my house yet. i just started finally doing pwps and finding the perfect path. and it’s all just gone forever

#purrs #i can’t even wrap my head around it. i know i barely played until like 2 months ago and there was much left to be desired but i loved my #town so much. And it’s just gone forever. fuck #* i took a long break and started picking it up again 2 months ago #i was almost done with the museum. almost done collecting kk songs. i still had all my original villagers visiting my town and they just #started calling me tessie. im never going to get to see them again. i literally haven’t touched my sd card since the day i put it in i just #don’t understand how this happened. my head is spinning

[keclan]

i’ve never done pc/pc romance in dnd, it feels so much more exciting than dm/pc romance i’m so hype

#addicted to adding little songs to my little playlists #playlist is all over the place bc i’m imagining a lot of ways this could go #and it might not work out we are seeing what happens and taking it slow #but!!! my girls got a crush #giggling and kicking my legs i know who you liiiiiiike #being a dm i’ve mostly done pc’s exes and some romances #but it’s mostly been like i’ve got a whole cast of characters i’m in charge of #our one and only little blorbos picked each other? and we only have the one?? crazy #hot horse town #<- haven’t used this campaign tag in so long i’m so HYPE we are so fucking back

[drowninginthoughts27]

.

#I am so sorry I’ve complained so much on here today #I’m just in a mood™ #cause it has been *such* a long day #O.M.G #like I had to go to the fucking hospital #and then at work people were just plain rude #I had to preticipate in a fucking instagram reel #I got catcalled not once not twice but THREE TIMES #I feel like I accomplished nothing today at work #or like in general really #I’m way farther behind on my spring break work for uni than I would like to be #and I legit haven’t done any proper writing in days #not to mention I’m not even home rn #so I can’t even like take time to myself #so im like hella overstimulated #it has just not been a great day today tbh

[spyderschaos]

Man who put me up to doing things I’ve never done before

#I’m in my school’s film club and this year we have decided to make a year book for the seniors which btw is smth my school doesn’t usually #do like either it has never done it or it hasn’t in a rlly long time idk either way this year film club is gonna do it #(film club is like three years old so yea we wanted to try doing it last year but we ended just not doing it) #but THIS YEAR guess who’s working on it #you guessed it me #we haven’t started yet and ofc there’s ppl who r gonna help me but it’s my responsibility y’know and omg I have no idea of how to even #start #but whatever #fuck it we ball #next is the design for the school’s volleyball tournament tshirt #I agreed to do it #y’know smth that’s gonna be used by most of the school #ahi #spyder’s chaos

[remitro]

not gonna do ALL the risetober prompts but i did want to do at least one!! i don’t really. have a favorite turtle my brain kinda rotates a wheel around and picks one of them to be the Subject Of The Day

#crow.jpg #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #rottmnt fanart #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt raph #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt leo #rise of the tmnt #i think i got like straight up fucking possessed to do this #here’s how it went right i log onto tumblr i see someone else did a prompt #and i’m like oh cool i wanna do that! #and then four hours later i snap out of god knows what and boom it’s done. insane behavior #not sure why this one took me so long tbh maybe it’s bc i haven’t done lineart in uh #A While

[redjukebox]

Me @ my brain: cmon man we gootta focus on this school shit and we gotta do all these things to ensure we’re good for the next quarter and we literally cannot be late or we’re so screwed and we reeeaally have to make an appointment like we’ve had to for the past 3 months pleeeaasee

My brain: ok but like what if Tick Tock constantly feels the need to move around, whether it’s moving his ears, tail, tapping his hoof, or even just talking to make sure that he still can?? Like bro was paralyzed and literally could not move AT ALL for at LEAST a year (at the very VERY least) like that must’ve done SOOOO MUCH DAMAGE OH MY GOD HE LITERALLY COULD NOOOT MOOVE BRO HE WAS 12

#doctor whooves and assistant #tick tock #I have a lot of things I have to get done but my mind will always return to Tick Tock #no matter how long I go without consuming dwna content it always comes back #I consider that a blessing<3 #seriously tho I feel like him literally being paralyzed at age 12 is kinda brushed over sometimes #like yeah he brings it up because it still heavily affects him but like #that must’ve been terrifying #he was literally at the mercy of a town that wanted him fucking dead #at age 12 #obviously he was taken care of because he definitely wouldn’t have made it without help but still #he was probably beyond terrified #like brroooo #sometimes I think about it and goooodddddd #I might try writing more fics just so I can have him process this shit cause there’s no way he’s processed it all #I NEED derpy and doctor helping him get through this trauma that has been with him for likely a whole DECADE #idk how old that mf is but he’s definitely early twenties so it probably has been a decade💀 #I also think him constantly talking to himself good be him continuing an old habit of making sure he could talk #idk how to phrase it but I’m sure it’s basically understandable #hopefully💀 #sorry about this huge rant #haven’t ranted about Tick Tock in a looong time #need to do it every now and then #it’s my enrichment<3 #I just realized my tags are longer than my FUCKING POST LMAOOOOOO

[waterdeepthroat]

bg3 is one of the only games where i’ve had to take some space away with it due to content. and honestly? i think that’s a good thing

#i’m usually very good at separating my emotions from a character’s emotions/my past from a character’s past #i can probably count the number of movies/tv shows/games i’ve cried because of in one hand (the first one was angel. that finale got me.) #but bg3 is different in that i haven’t cried bc something was too sad/emotionally powerful but that i needed to physically step away #the similarities between astarion and myself became kind of unbearable but in a good way? like it was painful but it was well-done #idk if not for my past of SA i rlly don’t think his storyline would hit that hard to me personally. but because i see so much of myself #in his mannerisms and how he puts on a façade of being hypersexual it just. it just rlly gets me man #and this is GOOD WRITING!! it’s GOOD FUCKING WRITING!! but it’s very bittersweet for me bc i feel like i can relate to his storyline on #another level but it also causes such emotional pain that i wish i could disengage from it. just my thoughts tho #also just wanted to say: i don’t think it was ever confirmed that astarion was assaulted by cazador but he does textually have issues with #intimacy and sexuality as a result of cazador. so obv while our experiences are not the same i think it’s fair to draw parallels as long as #you don’t take implication as fact. anyway. #bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #discussion of assault in tags

[clownaura]

it’s kind of crazy how the mind and disability works..before i realized i had issues, i was able to do so much. i could work really hard while going to school and having a social life. now i can barely work 35 hours a week without having to compromise something else in order to get shit done.

on the other hand, my manager, who does have issues but hasn’t looked into them, can work at another store for the week and still come in and check in on us everyday. she can’t be still. but it manifests in her mood and how she treats us for sure…

#this turned into a rant in the tags #lots of tags #personal #negative #work tales #luke texted me as i was writing this and said she yelled at them for something… #i’m glad i drove him to work bc i’m certain he would’ve walked out #this shit is difficult man… #like she is constantly looking for something we’ve fucked up #she doesn’t really comment on the good things we’ve done #she tells us to quit CONSTANTLY #she talks to us like we’re the world’s worst employees #i’d love to walk out on her ass but it’s so hard to find jobs #it took me the entire summer to find this one #i’m just… #i haven’t been asst manager for long but maybe that’ll improve my chances somewhere else

[designernishiki]

addition to my enormous wip pile. indulging my kazumaji brainrot

#kazumaji #WIP #my art #ghsdsgshshj im trying to do more casual doodling because I Need To get used to it again after being inactive for so long #but. this. is an exception. hopefully it’ll turn out to be something nice. who knows #I do want to actually make this a finished piece I just hope I have the fucking drive to do so #anyway yes I know I haven’t drawn the tattoos yet. shut up #yakuza #rgg #kazuma kiryu #goro majima #ALSO YES I KNOW I HAVENT DONE ALL THE FACIAL HAIR YET EITHER SHUT UP #imma be real I kind of forgot about that but. it’s a WIP so. I mean. it’s unfinished by definition

[kimtaegis]

geez I could need a cheer up

#having an anticipated depression day #slept til past 12pm (which I haven’t done in so so long) #and only got up because of excruciating period cramps #cried writing emails #cried making gifs #cried seeing my parents #cried seeing yoongi’s guitar!!!! #made myself a hot water bottle now and gonna do a fucking puzzle (????) #and if that doesn’t help I have to get the ice cream that I’ve been avoiding

[museenkuss]

Spn blogs in my recs and they WILL NOT LEAVE.

#they’re even on my main blog now #at least for me #and like yeah I get it blood and rot and family and whatever #I think I’m getting my period soon because it usually doesn’t annoy me like this but GOD #I don’t WANT these here. #but tbh I just don’t like the fandom. it’s all very clique-y and I am so so lonely #like genuinely I haven’t felt good about a single thing I posted for that in way too long #I like WRITING but posting?? in that fandom? it’s terrible. I hate it #& I’ve taken to writing out all my frustration and anger and grief in a separate doc to be deleted before posting the main work #which is fucking. just. it’s bad. I’ve never had to do that for ANY fandom I wrote for. #and I geeeeeet that it’s because it’s such a big fandom so people know each other and it’s not like my small communities where you #parallel play in peace. but I don’t like it. it’s deeply uncomfortable and isolating and I’m so sick of it #but I also like the writing I do so I try to just stay in my niche and not look at anyone else #I think I unfollowed every fandom blog save for two? three? so I could be alone instead of lonely #but it still washes over me whenever I post something. #oh an! sometimes I’m tempted to just do something super mass appealing so they’ll like me but that just makes me feel worse #I’ve been tempted to delete my blog so many times because I lost my friends from the old fandoms and this one is the poorest substitute #but I also feel like that won’t make me happier either. I wish I’d just never started engaging w that show tbh #okay done. just. I’m going through it