Tumgik
#I haven't drawn in so long I feel so rusty
janearts · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I'm just going to headcanon that Roisia was too insufferable to be adopted by Myrkul as his new Chosen...
2K notes · View notes
nebulous-rain · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
stream doodles!! my blog is so dry
180 notes · View notes
raphodraws · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media
slowly getting back into the groove of things with the boys 💙💛
48 notes · View notes
tophatcats · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media
Weekend Fumi dates.
[ID: A digital illustration of Fumi from the visual novel Jack Jeanne. The piece is done in a loose sketchy paint style. Fumi is seated across from the viewer at an outdoor cafe table with his chin resting in one hand. He has a soft smile on his lips and one eye closed in a playful wink. He wears a tan fur-lined jacket over a black turtleneck, and a set of black hairpins hold back his blonde hair on one side. A sunny town street is in the distance behind him.]
36 notes · View notes
heyclickadee · 11 months
Text
Tumblr media
Trying to break the never drawing curse by doodling the sunshine space baby.
23 notes · View notes
hee-blee-art · 5 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
uh oh.... lesbian chef love triangle..... 😳
[image ID: five images of digital drawings featuring three chef characters, k, kiri, and margot. k is a big buff butch with tan skin and a bowlcut, kiri is an average height butch with light brown skin and long curly brown hair, and margot is a thin short androgynous femme with tan skin and brown hair in a braid.
in the first piece, k leans over margot sauvely as she talks to her, and margot stands stiff and sweaty. the following image is detail crop focused on their heads, with the text "she's so tall..." next to margot.
in the third image, kiri stands behind margot to tie her apron, saying, "your apron's coming undone, margot. here, I'll fix it for you. we don't want you looking indecent in the kitchen, now do we?" next is a detail crop with a red circle drawn around kiri's hands with the label "big hands" and a red arrow showing margot staring at them.
the fourth image is a three panel comic page that shows k pinning kiri to the wall by the shirt, getting all up in her face and saying, "don't test my patience, kiri-" to which kiri tugs at k's shirt and coolly replies, "damn, k, I haven't seen you this worked up in a long time. you must reeeeally like this girl, huh? got a big ol' crush? reality check - we don't even know if she plays for our team, chef. besides that, you haven't been particularly friendly with anyone since you and me, have you? if you're feeling rusty I could help you with a little practice." end ID]
499 notes · View notes
moonknixght · 3 months
Text
Jerk [Marc Spector x GN!Reader]
Summary: Despite having plans for a date with you after meeting with his ex-wife, Marc seems to have suddenly gone off communication, leaving you to be a bundle of nerves until you decided to call him. Heavily inspired by episode 3 of scenes from a marriage. Word Count: 2k Warnings: Angst with no comfort !!!!!!!!! foul language, Steven cameo (that's a sweet surprise than a warning), no mention of jake A/N: Gosh! I apologize for being super late with this one,, this was meant to be a drabble but i got carried away lol. And I'm a little rusty with writing atm, so don't look at me if the writing feels a lil wonky. though, Constructive Criticism is greatly appreciated! PS; The ex-wife mentioned in this is NOT layla its some other lady because we love layla in this household
REQUESTS ARE OPEN!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
The drawn out rings of the phone was slowly aiding to a upcoming migraine as you paced between rooms, silently praying that you would get an answer to your frantic texts. A rather uneventful Friday night that you expected to spend with the person you were recently seeing, an unpredictably mysterious man, had come to an abrupt stop.
There was a lot you didn't know about Marc Spector; and that was okay, because it was just the process of 'getting to know someone' was, right? Sure, You had rambled your head off on the first date, all which he listened carefully; but with Marc, you never felt the need to push information out of him. It was like befriending an fragile animal that takes time to trust, but the epiphany that comes after is unexplainably amazing.
Growing from acquaintances to actually seeing each other and looking forward to spending time as a couple was unrealistic, which was why your entire relationship was so fascinating. The patience of talking things out was a quality that you both shared; likely being the reason of such a bond with each other. If anyone would listen, you would never stop talking about how perplexing that was.
As you both started building a line of trust, You came to learn that he was divorced and was in the process of sorting things out with his ex-lover— which, of course, you were fine with. And today, he had mentioned about her coming over, which you were also on board with. But with the plans that were arranged for today still being overdue and Marc falling off the face of earth, you couldn't help but feel.. jealous? worry, even?
It was exactly why you were frantically texting your boyfriend, questioning on where he was and if his ex-wife had taken her leave. The only response that you received was being left entirely on delivered, adding fuel to your already anxious state. You felt like you were just being extremely clingy— and that they were probably still talking.
Your gaze travelled to the clock. 15 minutes to 1 am. Holy fuck. Had you really been texting him for over an hour? Had it been over two hours since you had set your dinner table, waiting for him? The latest that Marc had promised he would be was by 10:30, so it was just utterly ridiculous that it was past midnight and he was still unresponsive.
Swiftly grabbing the unopened bottle of wine kept on your table and making it to the couch, You set your phone down on the coffee table as you took a swing of the drink. It was crazy how this entire thing had gotten you so riled up, but as much as you hated to admit it, you were head over heels for this guy. So committed infact, that you were desperately checking on him for the past two hours; that you haven't even had your own dinner yet. One last call. Maybe he'll pick up.
That was the words that your guilty conscious prompted while you sat in the uncomfortable silence, eyes falling on the phone that lay discarded on the table. Obviously, you were going to feed into your thoughts. Of course you did.
And much to your surprise, it only took three rings to connect to the voice that you were just waiting to hear— but it didn't take you long to notice that it came off in a growl, much to the contrast of the soft spoken tone that Marc usually carried.
"Marc?" "Hey." You let out a sigh of relief, shaking your head ever so slightly at your own frantic actions. Atleast he was doing okay. "Are you okay? Where have you been? I've been—"
"Good. Uh, yeah, but listen, it's not cool to, like, bombard me with messages."
There was a short pause where you sat slightly bewildered. before you felt yourself sink into the seat, like a child who had just been scolded. Even with guilt creeping up, You wanted to still defend your own case, which was the endless worrying you had endured for the past hour, waiting for anything from Marc. Just a simple notice to cancel their date for the night or even to say that he was okay. But instead, You were simply left in the dark.
"Because you were supposed to call me, Marc."
"I told you, I'd call you when she left." "Oh, so she hasn't gone yet?" "No, She hasn't. She's still here." Sipping from the glass of wine and setting it onto the table nearby, your mind was quick to rush into many conclusions, but you kept your mouth shut. Whatever they had to discuss must have been really important. "Isn't it late? How are you both still talking?" "No, She— She's in bed." An exhale could be heard from the other end, as your brows furrowed. In bed? Marc lived in a single bedroom, so did that mean he was taking the couch? But before you could even question it, it was like the male at the other end had almost read your mind, because he immediately cleared your doubts, Albeit, you would have wished he never said anything. "..My bed." Oh. Feeling betrayed and lost would be an understatement of how you currently felt. Confused even, to some extend as a steady silence began to occupy the call. You weren't quite sure how Marc wanted you to respond to that. Did he want to hear you weep from the other side? Or be upset at him? Maybe even yell a few select choices of words for wasting your time? But instead of any of that, pure silence rang through the call and if it weren't for Marc checking if the call was still running, he would've thought you hung up. "Hello?"
The feeling of being let down was coursing through your veins at this point, making itself obvious with the lump that grew in your throat and how you stiffened up in your seat. You weren't sure what exactly to feel, a floodgate on sadness and anger opening like it was a pent up dam that was released. You sniffled quietly, trying to bite back the tears that were pricking at the corner of your eyes. It was unfair how distraught you felt. Another audible exhale could be heard, before you heard Marc's voice again. You weren't even sure why you felt like crying, but it was clear that this wouldn't end well. "Look, I'm suggesting that we should take a break because this is just not.. Not working out right now." "When did it work out, Marc?" "Wh— What are you talking about?" "I said." You spoke, recollecting yourself in a suspiciously gentle manner. "When were you not trying to use me as a way to move on?"
It was his turn to grow silent, and that was pretty much the answer you needed. To think that you gave him the chance, thinking that maybe this time around you could actually be with someone who cared— There were no other words to describe what you've been this entire time. You were foolish. "Goodnight. Sleep well." You'd be lying if you said that you didn't still want him to come back to you. Justify himself properly. Say that this was all some sick joke. But you were also aware that there was probably nothing that would save this. Still, You stayed when he spoke up again, for whatever reason. "Stop. Just Listen. This doesn't have to be.. what you think it is, I just need time to collect myself and honestly, I've been feeling for a while that—"
The urge to laugh was overbearing, and you didn't hold back. "You're so full of shit, Marc." Anger was finally settling in before the male at the other end could even respond to your words, but this wasn't about being courteous anymore. It felt like if Marc had cared for you even a little, this wouldn't have happened like it did. "Own up to what you're doing, asshole. I know you like to evade your responsibilities but just for once, if you have any respect for me, stand up like a man and say it to my face so I can just accept the fact that I've wasted my time and effort on you."
"Okay, Let me stop you here before you say anything else that you're gonna regret."
"No, fuck you. The only thing I regret is thinking that you actually cared enough to be with me. Turns out, your only concern is keeping yourself occupied and acting like you don't give a shit about everything that leaves you. You're a selfish prick."
"Fine. It's over then."
"Good. Lose my number and Have a good fucking night, Spector." The call was immediately cut, and so was the brightness of the candle that you had lit earlier by the dinner table. The dimness eased your volatile temper, but it bought the dejection and uneasiness that had failed to show up during the call. There was an option for you to cry it all out, but for reason, you didn't. A soft sigh escaped your pursed lips as you rubbed your eyes. Maybe you'd end up bawling your eyes out about this when you were nestled into the cold embrace of your bed.
You didn't even feel hungry anymore; so shoving the pasta that you had cooked hours prior into the fridge and cleaning up, you tried your best not to think of everything that just happened, which was difficult in it's own volition. It was just a few dates, so you were technically the one in the wrong for letting your guard down so easily and falling for a man who barely talked to you. That conclusion stung a little, but it helped you feel better as you picked up your phone and the bottle of wine again— too exhausted to take off the gorgeous outfit you had picked out for the night as you opened tinder; trying to scroll away like you were gonna move on.
On the other side, Marc had made the mistake of pacing through his room as he made the call, biting his cheeks as it reached it's abrupt and upsetting end. Guilt did lace his features, but reminding himself that this was the last he would ever hear from you made the circumstances a little less horrible. Glancing at the phone as his thumb hovered over your contact, He heard a meek voice call out to him. Not that of his ex-wife, but that of Steven's— who had seen everything from the reflection of the mirror that Marc found himself standing before. "Marc.." The reflection called out to him, a clearly disappointed expression lacing his features as he tried to find the words to even begin expressing how regrettable this would be. Steven didn't have to elaborate, though, because in the few seconds that Marc met Steven's concerned eyes, he knew this would just add into the contrition that already plagued his mind.
Marc tore himself away from Steven who made a lowly attempt at trying to reason with him; walking back to where he had just been previously. It was because Steven knew, and so did he, that he found what it felt like to be loved again through you. But he was undeserving of it. With everything he has done and all the secrets that he hid, he only deserved the toxic relation he had with his ex, which atleast kept his needs at bay; a fair trade for all the arguments he had with her. You were right about him being a selfish jerk. Though it was for all for the wrong reasons.
Tumblr media
245 notes · View notes
andheresthething · 1 year
Text
I Got So Fucking Romantic, I Apologize
Summary: Cute lazy morning (afternoon) with Nightowl.
[No use of y/n] [Lazy Mornings] [But it's really 2 pm] [Cuddling & Snuggling] [Kissing] [Love Bites] [Pet Names] [Dorks in Love] [I cannot stress it enough you act like teenagers in love] [Implied Sexual Content] [You're smaller than him] [Established Relationship]
•·················•·················•
Notes:
I recently played Blooming Panic and absolutely fell HARD for Nightowl. This is the first time I've ever posted any of my writing and it's been a while since I've written at all so this will probably be rusty. I might write more (could make a spicy follow-up) if people like this one, though it might be delayed because carpal tunnel is a bitch.
Gender-neutral reader for yall :)
I wrote this while listening to my character playlist for him
Reposted from AO3
Also, I haven't used Tumblr since MIDDLE SCHOOL so I apologize for things being strange to the platform
●▬▬▬▬▬๑⇩⇩๑▬▬▬▬▬●
Rays of light shone through the drawn blinds of the bedroom you and Nightowl shared. The small beams laid across the two of you sleeping well into early afternoon. You slowly blink and let out a yawn, taking a moment to come into the conscious world.
Once your eyes adjusted you finally get a look at the blonde sleeping on his side next to you. His chest slowly rising and falling and an arm draped over you. Lips slightly apart, just enough to show a sliver of his front teeth, and his neck and collar bones covered in spots that ranged in shades of purple. Though a familiar sight for you to see each day, it never grew old. Each day, without fail, your heart would flutter the same way it did when you spent your first night together. You cracked a smile, just watching and waiting for your partner to wake.
Sometimes it was still baffling to you that clicking on a discord invite led to this. How fast everything moved between the two of you was unexpected, but not unwelcomed in the slightest. You recall all the nights the two of you would spend up, talking about anything and everything until you fell asleep. Nightowl would follow shortly after, but would never hang up the call. Some of the time right before he’d turn in as well, you were just conscious to hear him say, ‘I can’t wait until we can do this in person. Goodnight, Cutie. Sweet dreams.’
Your smile grew thinking about those early times of your relationship, though soon enough you were broken from the little daydream with the feeling of Nightowl lifting his arm off of you, stretching himself awake with a yawn.
“Mornin, sweetheart,” you said as he lowered his arm back to hold you. He sleepily smiled, then placed a light kiss on your forehead.
“Good morning, cutie,” he smiled, “Hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.”
“Impossible, plus I lost myself in thought, so I doubt I would have noticed an hour going by.”
“Care to indulge me?” Nightowl asked while moving his hand to hold yours.
“I was just thinking about our old late-night calls before I got to move in with you and how sometimes when I was half asleep I’d hear you say how you couldn’t wait for this to happen for real and wished me goodnight”
Nightowl squeezed your hand, eyes lighting up slightly. Your little story seemed to help wake him up from his groggy state, “Awe, I love you getting all sappy and nostalgic on me first thing in the morning, cutie.”
 “I always felt all stupid and happy whenever I heard it.” 
“You know,” he scootched as close as he could be to you without being completely on top of you, “I did it every. Single. Night.” he hummed, peppering a kiss on your face between every word, and you giggled with each one.
“Really?”
He put on a serious face, sharply nodding, “Without fail. I still do actually. Granted, I’ve changed that first part a tiny bit considering you’re now actually here with me, in the flesh.”
“Awe, sweetheart, you’re literally the best. How’d I get so lucky?” you reached to hug him. Maybe a bit too enthusiastically, though, as you managed to push Nightowl over on his back and put yourself on top of him, burying your face in his neck in the process, “Seriously, I could have never imagined having someone who does stuff like that for me all to myself.”
“ You can’t believe you have me all to yourself?” Nightowl laughed, “I should be the one saying that. I was such a hungover ass to you after knowing you for, like, five days, and you still wanted to be with me after that night. You’re the one here that's the best,” he refuted, placing a kiss on the side of your head, “To have someone as precious as you makes me the lucky one here, darling.”
“Mmm, I’d have to disagree with you.”
  “Incorrect and unfactual statement.”
You lifted yourself enough to meet your eyes with his, “As much as I’d love to continue this to prove I’m, in fact, correct on this matter, I think I’m a little too tired to try.”
“So what you're saying is that I win?” he said with the biggest shit-eating grin. You groaned at his playful antic and started to push yourself up, now straddling his lap as he still laid underneath you, which also effectively pushed the blanket once covering the two of you off and behind you. 
“Sure, you win, dumbass. What shall your prize be?”
“Can it be anything?” he said excitedly.
You knew you might regret the answer you were going to give, but went through with it anyway, “Sure, anything you want, sweetheart,” with that, you sealed your fate.
“Hmm, what a tough decision to make,” Nightowl exaggeratedly pondered while pushing himself back slightly to be able to sit up with his arms supporting him from behind. You also moved so that you were sitting in his lap, legs wrapped around his bare lower waist, and brought your arms around his neck. Your arms sat on the soft fabric that was the straps of his crop top, “The possibilities are endless, cutie. How could I ever just choose one thing?”
You giggled at his complaint, “You better, the offer is going to expire soon. Then you just get bragging rights.”
“Oh, how cruel! How could you?” he moved his arms from behind him to hold your hips.
“I know, I’m such a horrible person,” you said, matching his sarcastic and playful tone.
The two of you stayed like that for a moment, you took the time to admire his face. The small beams of light highlighted his softer features. They made his messy hair shine and his brown eyes sparkle, revealing all the little flakes of different shades that resided in them.
The light also reflected off of his cartilage piercings. Nightowl had a bad habit of not taking out his earrings before bed. No matter how many times you reminded him, he always forgot. It wasn’t the end of the world that he didn’t, though. At least he remembered to take out his statement piece each night.
In that time, Nightowl did the same, soaking in the sight of you. Hair just as messy as his own, a stupid wide smile, and a pair of beaming eyes staring into his own. But your shirt, God it was killing him. It was one of his own that you’d steal regularly to wear almost anywhere. While purposefully somewhat oversized on him, you were swimming in it, allowing your neck and collar bones, covered in marks (courtesy of him), to be exposed. Maybe it was his somewhat possessive nature, but the mix of the shirt and hickies fogged his mind with a myriad of thoughts ranging from wholesome to extremely sexual.
“Have you made a decision yet?” your words snapped him out of his short, albeit very vivid, daydream, “Or are we just going to settle for bragging rights?”
“Nope! I’ve come up with my prize.”
“That would be?”
“One super lazy, stay-in-date day complete with stupid horror movies and possibly some more… intimate affairs later on,” he paused, “Please.”
You pretended to think it over, despite the arrangement of this prize. While you, of course, got tasked with a pile of work for the weekend, you couldn’t care less about it. Getting ripped by your boss on Monday would be worth it, especially with the not-at-all-subtle proposition for later in the day. Knowing Nightowl though, it would probably come way sooner than nightfall. “You, sir, have yourself a deal.”
You gave him a small peck, but Nightowl being Nightowl, was having none of that. He immediately put his lips back on yours, tightening his grip on your hips. While it took you slightly by surprise, you gladly accepted the act, kissing him back. Quickly things became heated, pulling each other closer, the movement of your lips becoming desperate. Your hands drifted to his hair, lightly grabbing at it, which Nightowl responded to by letting out a small moan into your mouth. That noise of his set you off, eager to continue the sudden act of intimacy. 
Unfortunately, as quickly as it picked up, it stopped. Nightowl pulled away and loosened his hold on you, causing you to let out a small whine of disappointment.
“As much as I don’t want to stop this right now, cutie, I’m starving for some actual food, not just you.” 
You let out a chuckle, arms going back down to rest on his shoulders, “You’re such a tease.”
“Says the one wearing nothing but my shirt,” he flirted, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face once again. “Looks great on you, by the way. Makes your ass and thighs look fantastic. Especially your thighs.”
“I do, in fact, have something on under, mister,” you retorted, “But if you’re that hungry, I guess we could go scrounge up something, but by we, I mean me. We both know you can't cook for shit.”
“Ouch, that one stung.”
“It’s not that bad if I like cooking and you like eating it. Plus, you get to stare at my thighs all you want while I do so.”
“A win is a win,” he lifted one hand off your hips to cup your cheek. “Shall we then?”
“To the kitchen!” you giggled. 
Nightowl gave you one last kiss on your forehead before putting his hand down, allowing you to get up off of him and the bed. He followed suit, loosely holding your hand. With that, you led the way out of the bedroom and into the kitchen to start your long date day at 2 pm.
156 notes · View notes
elstreem · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
I haven't drawn proper Vaati art in forever so here is an apology
It's been so long that I feel like I'm rusty drawing him too. But anyway, I wanted to practice drawing in this style of line art that I did for the Blind Prince fanart I did recently, so here's our favorite grape being solemn and moody. also I gave him pretty eyelashes because why not I did draw a silly summer thing recently but I didn't like it enough to keep it posted, I might redraw it though.
91 notes · View notes
alightbuthappypen · 4 months
Text
I suppose what I'm trying to teach myself this year is that it's okay to do things calmly. It's okay to take my time. And also not have something I'm comfortable showing the internet at the end of a session to "prove" I achieved something. Even more so today when I haven't drawn regularly for so long. I'm rusty! I need to put in plenty more hours before getting to where I feel like I "should" be.
With both drawing and writing, at this point I am just focusing on putting in the hours. I don't need to worry about anything else yet.
20 notes · View notes
alivingmel · 10 months
Text
Apologies, reasons, c-c-cancer?!?, future plans, etc.
HELLO FRIENDS, it's Mel. It's been a very long time since I've posted here, and I feel I owe all you lovely folks who supported me in years past an explanation (whether or not you even remember me because it has been years now) SO, let me tell you what's been going on (under the cut):
Back in 2017, my mental health hit an all-time low that resulted a suicide attempt and subsequent hospitalization. Thankfully, my time in the hospital set me on a path that led me to receiving the care and medication I needed! I started on a mood stabilizer that truly changed my life around. . .
But, because my period of positive self-growth coincided with staying offline and not drawing as frequently as I used to, a misguided part of my brain began associating these things with that awful mental state that almost killed me. I never, ever wanted to feel that awful again, so I started to shy away from sharing and making art until avoiding it completely.
Furthermore, many of my pieces had been fueled by pure mental anguish and, once that pain was alleviated by the proper medication, I found myself struggling to find the motivation to create anything. . . My mind was so much clearer and I could come up with concepts for stories and characters better than ever, but actually getting these ideas down on paper became difficult. For most of my life, I had overrelied on frantic emotions and the idea that my life was not worth anything beyond what I created whenever I made art.
Now that I've realized that yes, my life is valuable and yes, I want to live it, my old approach to art was rendered defunct. I became distracted by new hobbies, since I was able to actually Enjoy Things properly for the first time in my adult life. . . And also because I was avoiding art, which had become a source of frustration and embarrassment for me. I felt like I was a different person than I was before, and the old me was a mess but DAMN they could draw.
I believe it's possible for me to rekindle my passion for creating stuff and discover a reason to draw that isn't unhealthy! But it will require a LOT of focus and energy from me, involving a lot of aggravation and disappointment because FUN FACT when you don't draw for months at a time, you get rusty as hell.
Thus far, I haven't been able to manage the sustained effort required to remember how to draw because, despite being far more mentally stable nowadays, the the last six years have been very. . . Unstable. . . I've lost beloved pets and family members, had to support both parents with major surgeries on several occasions, deal with multiple drawn out court cases (one involving a police officer with a vendetta against my brother trying to get him put in jail, LONG STORY. . .), keep my house from falling apart without having nearly enough money to properly fix the staggering amount of things wrong with it, the persistent cold (and sometimes very hot) war between my immediate family members, and so on. . . My minds been so preoccupied with a constant stream of disasters in my household that it's been VERY EASY to justify a continuing avoidance of art.
I was hoping this year would be the one where I'd get back on track, but instead it turned out to be the year where the old track violently explodes and now I have to build a WHOLE NEW TRACK. So, for now, I have to focus on preventing the derailed train that is my life from jettisoning off a cliff.
Back in December 2022, I discovered a lump in one of my breasts. Considering my age and the fact that it was actually causing me discomfort, I figured it was a benign cyst. Got a mammogram and a biopsy to make sure! IT WAS NOT A CYST. I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer, which tends to be the type of breast cancer that folks under 40 get. It's often connected to genetics, but I tested negative for all relevant gene mutations and no one else in my family has even had breast cancer. IT FELT LIKE A VERY SOAP OPERA-ESQUE TURN OF EVENTS AFTER EVERYTHING ELSE THAT'S HAPPENED, not very realistic plot progression on Life's part, 0/5 stars.
Triple negative is unfortunately one of the most aggressive types of breast cancer and, since the "triple negative" refers to the tumors lack of hormone receptors and the HER2 protein, it does not respond to most targeted breast cancer treatments. But because triple negative tumors are nasty, fast-growing little fuckers, Classic™ chemotherapy works wonders on 'em!
Thankfully, despite all the doctors suspecting otherwise, my nearest lymph node tested negative! Makes a huge difference in treatment, likelihood of recurrence and metastasis, and my chance of surviving this ordeal. The amount of chemo I have had to endure has sucked hardcore and will continue to suck. I finished 12 weekly infusions at the end of May, and I started the last 4 bi-weekly infusions in June. The last four doses include a very friendly, fun-loving drug nicknamed "the red devil". :’)
The silver lining of this whole mess is that I FINALLY GET THESE TITS TAKEN OFF AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO PAY OUT OF POCKET. . . As you may or may not know, I'm nonbinary. I've never had any desire for HRT, but god, GOD, my boobs have given me hardcore dysphoria since puberty willed them into existence. I'm not very comfortable talking about my identity with family and acquaintances irl, so the fact that I don't have to explain myself to nosy relatives now is a relief. WOULD HAVE DEFINITELY PREFERRED HAVING SOME AWKWARD CONVERSATIONS INSTEAD OF FUCKING CANCER, but at least I get some kind of reward at the end of all this.
As someone that's been (physically lol) healthy their whole life, this has been a difficult journey. And, this is wicked cheesy, but the amount of strength I've been able to scrounge up? SHOCKING. I'm proud of how I've managed to grow as a person since 2017. Back then, I could've never pulled this shit off. 2023 MEL IS THE MOST POWERFUL MEL YET, BUT. . . THIS MEL NEEDS TO CHANNEL THEIR NEWFOUND TEMPERANCE INTO THEIR ART AFTER GETTING THROUGH THIS. . .
I actually had this fairytale idea that I'd draw during my chemo sessions and ~rediscover my passion~. . . But I qualified for a cooling cap program (helps with the hair loss, trying to retain as many follicles as I can cuz they play the lead role in my physical presence ok!!!) and the headache you get from encasing your skull with ice is not exactly conducive to productivity.
SO, for now, I need to focus on beating the shit out of cancer and recovering from the treatment beating the shit out of me. But because this experience has made me hyper aware of the fact that we do not get an infinite amount of years to do all the things that we want to do in life, I WILL RETURN. . . Because I have stories to tell! With shitty characters that have shittier lives! I didn't devote 30% of my grey matter to this stuff just to take it with me to the grave, man!!!
ALSO, A REMINDER: if you ever feel like there's something off with yourself, health-wise, do not hesitate to get yourself checked out by a doctor. Whether it's a tiny lump, a persistent dull pain, or anything else. . . Find out what, exactly, it is. I caught this cancer right in time! At this stage, the survival rate for triple negative breast cancer is a little over 90%. Had I waited to get checked out, had I given it enough time to matastize to a distant part of my body. . . My chances of surviving would've dipped to about 12%. That period where I was waiting on tests to confirm whether the cancer had gone anyplace else was absolutely terrifying. SO PLEASE, DON'T FUCK AROUND WITH YOUR HEALTH (OR YOU MIGHT FIND OUT).
52 notes · View notes
moonctzeny · 2 years
Note
hi angel 💕
can you please do taeyong + accidental stimulation please? 🥺
taeyong + accidental stimulation
Tumblr media
genre: smut
wc: 667
warnings: semi-public sex, mutual masturbation
a/n: omg sara I feel so so bad for making you wait so long 😭 it's been a while since I've written anything so I'm really rusty but I hope you like this!! 💞💞💞
You can feel the deep bass of the party music resonating through your bones. The catchy beat is infectious enough to have you swaying along to the tempo, the drink you just downed numbs your thoughts just enough to not care who's watching. You don't mind the person who does, though.
Taeyong appears behind you so smoothly that it startles you for a second. The calloused hands that now run over your hips you know all too well. It's the same skillful hands that have drawn all kinds of pretty shapes over your most sensitive spots. The same hands that blur the line between friends and whatever the hell you become with a simple text when you're lonely. Hands that have had handfuls of you. The pads of his fingers are soft, triggering goosebumps on your exposed skin as they move lower. Whatever is poking your lower back, however, is hard.
"Really now? I didn't even do anything", you ask him incredulously, begging your voice to stay stable as he starts to grind into the softness of your ass. It feels like you haven't seen him in forever. You had no idea how much you've missed that overpriced cologne of his, seeping into your clothes from the close proximity.
"I love the way you look when you dance like this."
You don't like how much control he has over you at this moment. The hairs on the nape of your neck stand on edge as they're kissed by his breath. Pushing your ass out, you circle your hips right over his member, disguising the provocation as a dance move.
"Like this?"
The hiss he lets out feels victorious, yet the way he harshly brings you closer by your waist lets you know you're about to lose this war. You're not sure who leaned in first, but you know you two had the same brand of whiskey from how bitter his tongue tastes. Blindly stumbling through the busy hallways, with lips still moving against each other, you miraculously find an unoccupied bathroom to hide inside. 
The dull pain on your tailbone as Taeyong shoves you against the sink feels like nothing compared to the lust that overtakes you. He didn't need to whisper how much he needs you in your ear, you already know, yet you swear you'll never be able to forget the sound. If you were back at his place, you'd just rip at his clothes, strip him off of it all, eliminate every single barrier between the two of you. Instead, you settle for the next best thing, hastily undoing the buttons of his jeans until your hand fits inside the stretchy fabric. You relish in the deep moan that's coming from the back of his throat, wrapping your palm around his swollen cock before pumping him slowly. Feeling the need to reciprocate, he lets his hands travel underneath your skirt, pushing your skimpy panties aside until his index presses against your clit. 
You thought you needed him inside you, but there's not enough will in this world that could have you ask him to stop. Not as he adds another finger, letting it slide easily through your folds, embarrassingly wet at this point. And you know Taeyong loves how you play with him too, eyes tightly shut as you spread his precum all over his length, squeezing your fist a little tighter whenever you reach his tip. 
The way you share a shaky breath, lips featherly touching, is barely considered a kiss. Staring into his blown-out pupils, with sweat collected on your temples and tears welling up your eyes, you moan out his name as you cum. Ropes of white start to trickle down your knuckles just a few moments later, his hips staggering as he thrusts into your fist to ride out his high. The silent promise of a second round gets interrupted by an angry knock on the door. Not like that can stop you.
"This party sucks. Wanna get out of here?"
336 notes · View notes
avistella · 17 days
Text
I haven't drawn in months because of lack of motivation/ energy, but I've slowly been getting that motivation/ energy back, but because I haven't drawn in so long, I'm kind of afraid to pick up my tablet again and see how rusty/ out of practice I've become. Like I'm afraid of the possibility of it feeling unfamiliar to me. :/
4 notes · View notes
seovly · 2 months
Text
lee seoho — cocksucking
pairing: seoho x gn! reader
warnings: rough blowjob, hair pulling, sub-leaning switch seoho
word count: 996
a/n: HELLO SEOHO NATION! i've never written for a kpop idol before and i don't have much experience with smut, but the number of seoho fics is so painful to look at that i had to take matters into my own hands 😭
Tumblr media
Slow, fluttering kisses make their way up Seoho’s milky thighs, already taut with anticipation. You peek at him through lowered eyes. He's biting his lip, eyes closed shut as his chest heaves with every stuttered breath — he's so fucking sexy, always effortlessly turning heads and turning you on. And you haven't even gotten his briefs off.
“Haaa, haa…”
There's no way he's this sensitive, is he? Well, only one way to find out.
Your lips trail higher and higher, stopping at the waistband of his boxers. Seoho’s arousal is as clear as day, erection straining against the spandex and begging to be revealed. Words are unneeded in this situation; he wants to be touched, and you want to touch him — what else has to be said? But this situation only occurred in the first place because neither of you played by the book.
“Seoho. Seoho. Look at me.”
His eyes snap open, taken off-guard by the abrupt vocalisation. You almost feel bad seeing that flustered, deer-caught-in-the-headlights expression on his pretty face.
Then you take notice of his bottom lip, red and swollen, along with his sultry half-lidded eyes usually reserved for more suggestive performances, and all restraint goes out the window.
A strangled yelp escapes his mouth as you impatiently tug the elastic of his underwear down with your teeth. His cock springs out. It's at least six inches long and curved slightly to the left — and fuck, it's just as pretty as the rest of him. You can't help but lick your lips when you observe the beads of precum collecting on his tip. Your tongue darts out, tracing the crown of his cock. Seoho shivers. His breathing quickly turns erratic when you begin swirling your tongue around his cockhead. It's a little salty, but nothing you hadn't prepared for. His muscles are tight with tension — is he clutching the bedsheets? That won't do.
Without taking your mouth off of his length, you gingerly pry Seoho’s hand from the edge of the bed and guide it to your head. His eyes widen when he finally realises what you're trying to get him to do. Mind clouded from the pleasure, Seoho doesn't even hesitate to nod and obey.
Despite being as tense as a drawn bowstring, the way he runs his fingers through your hair so gently is enough incentive for you to redouble your efforts. So you do just that, taking Seoho by surprise when you suddenly reach to cup his balls, massaging them while licking thin stripes up his aching cock.
“A-ah, wait — ”
His hand flexes into a tight grip in your hair, legs trembling as shuddered gasps make their presence known right above your head. You can't suppress the smile on your lips. That burn on your scalp? That's exactly what you were aiming for. But he didn't pull as hard as you'd prefer, so you have to push him still. You lower your head.
“Fuck, fuck, shit!” he cusses, the only indication of a warning before bucking his hips roughly.
You wince, feeling his cock hit the back of your throat. That's not the type of deepthroating you expected to start tonight with, but his glaring desperation is infectious.
“Sorry, I’m really s-sorry — ” is what Seoho manages to grit out before he's cut off by a groan as you take his length deeper into your mouth. You haven't done this for some time now but thankfully, if his small whines are anything to judge by, your skills haven't gone rusty. Though the fact that Seoho probably hasn't had his dick sucked in ages might be helping too. “S-shit, you feel so hot around me — ”
Another groan, but softer, suppressed. You bob your head, using your free hand to spread his legs further.
“If you keep d-doing that, I won't… I won't...”
The staccato rhythm of his breathing, accompanied by the tiniest of whimpers, is music to your ears. Gradually, the crescendo approaches; you can tell by how his grip tightens, his sweet moans growing in both pitch and frequency. When Seoho begins fucking into your mouth unabashedly, you're more than happy to comply, hollowing your cheeks and enduring the discomfort in order to bring him closer to his high.
What you don't appreciate is his futile attempts at pulling you off when his climax nears. Seriously, the least he could do was let you enjoy the fruits of your labour after all you've done for him.
“Fuck! Fuck — cumming!”
Seoho’s eyes roll into the back of his head; his body stiffens, his hand holding your head firmly in place as hot, sticky cum shoots into your mouth from his twitching cock.
You glance upwards, taking in the sight of his fucked-out face — pupils blown wide and expression contorted in ecstasy — and it's obvious that his movements are driven by raw instinct, thrusts already weakening but showing no sign of stopping of their own accord.
But you're not complaining. God knows how long you've been waiting to have one of your holes stuffed full of his cock, and now that it's happening, you're going to relish in the moment.
After what seems like forever, he slowly pulls out, allowing you to swallow his thick load without obstruction. You rub your sore jaw absentmindedly, but he catches the action.
“I'm sorry,” he whispers, cheeks reddening. Seoho reaches out to caress your face, squeezing and prodding messily but hey, it's the thought that counts.
“If you're sorry, you'll help me out, right?”
His breath hitches. Seoho can only watch, enraptured, as you shuffle out of your pants. When they drop to the floor, he wastes no time in repaying the favour.
“Yeah. Come here,” Seoho murmurs, wrapping an arm around your waist and seating you down on his warm lap. You shift in place, grinding against his crotch as he trails chaste kisses down your neck. Unable to hold back a whine, you shiver when he smirks against your skin, proud of his handiwork. Without any prompting, Seoho slips his hand into your underwear.
5 notes · View notes
nian-7 · 23 days
Note
Heyo, I think matchup reqs are open but if not feel free to ignore (⁠・⁠–⁠・⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ
If it's alright I'd like a romantic and platonic match up for Pjsk and bsd (if not just romantic/ pjsk is fine)
Info:
My names Karma
I'm a minor, 17
I'm afab but I'm Genderfluid and use all pronouns
I'm pretty short for my age, 5’1 the last time I checked unfortunately, sobs. I don't get out much besides going to work for money so I'm pale as hell. I have freckles pretty much everywhere not a whole lot but they're definitely noticeable. I am cursed with a baby face, it gets better when I put on my glasses though, im cursed with terrible vision, I'm not allowed to drive without my glasses it's that bad
My hair is a shaggy wolf cut with curtain bangs, I'm a natural blonde but I always dye my hair ginger cause it's my favorite look on me (I'm trying to look like Chuuya cause I love him sm)
I'm an INFP-T, I'm also Asexual and Panromantic (slightly woman leaning but not an insane amount) I dress in dark academia style almost always: cardigans, sweater vests, long over coats paired with sweaters underneath. I'm very much trying to be that person you fall in love with in the book store 
When I'm in public alone I am very much socially awkward and anxious. I keep to myself and I am terrified of causing trouble for anyone
I tend to be drawn to more loud people; or more like popular/louder people adopt me out of the blue and I go along with it (which is funny considering I'm usually quiet) 
Once I've warmed up with people I very much match energys with whoever I'm with, typically just trying to make friends laugh. I value people's happiness very much
If we're out at a mall or something I'm quieter, but in private I can get very loud 
I also have a very close group of online friends all over the world (Some of us are meeting up soon and I'm very excited)
A lot of people have said that I also have big sister vibes
I do have diagnosed Anxiety and depression, typically I try not to let anyone see that side of me. I can spiral a bit into episodes where I just kind of ghost people and ride out whatever feelings I'm dealing with, then come back about 3-6 days later
I don't really do well with anger in general, weather it be my own or other people's
I also don't really have any appetite most of the time (I'm not sure if it's medical or not) but this can cause me sometimes to get super dizzy out of nowhere because I've forgotten to eat/drink 
I'm a digital artist, and I actually write fanfiction on Tumblr as well. I absolutely love cats, I’d talk about my cat Hazel for hours if I could (She's mean to me but I still love her </3) I also really like Vocaloid/Hatsune Miku music (kinda not surprising considering pjsk lol), I don't usually mention it in person though cause it's embarrassing to explain that shes just a singing hologram
I also have a fox obsession, I own a huge fox plush that takes up a designated corner of my room lol
I don't mind most things personality wise in people, but I do wish to be respected obviously
I like someone I can poke fun at casually and who can poke fun at me as well
My love language is big gift giving (wether it be buying or drawing occasionally) and physical affection (Cuddles always ╥⁠﹏⁠╥)
I've gotten tones of jokes that I only go for gingers, but I have zero preference for looks
I'm an overly patient person and get a little annoyed when people aren't as patient (but it's not a complete put off or anything) 
I also am very much someone who has to be on time. If I am not on time I lose it a bit
I think that's all (Maybe too much ´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`)
But thank you so much in advance! I hope you have an amazing day/week 💟
hi, anon! i haven't read bsd in a while so i'm a little rusty so i only did prsk. hope you still enjoy!
I match you with... (platonically)
Saki Tenma!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
-The biggest thing for you to be matched with Saki was the big sister vibes that you mentioned. The dynamic would just be too cute to pass up on!
-I tried to pick a more 'loud' or extroverted person and although I decided to opt for Saki instead of Tsukasa, I think you both would mesh together even when she's not necessarily as loud as her brother.
-Saki is like the person you can fall back onto in social situations when you get anxious. She doesn't mind taking the lead and helping you out when you get nervous.
-She's not someone who gets angry often and tries to be there for you when you ghost her or others. She tries her best to understand what you're feeling and tries to sympathize with you.
-You both having the same energy is something that would make the whole friendship mesh well and she has the capabilities to be calmer or quieter if needed.
I match you with... (romantically)
Shizuku Hinomori!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
-Although Shizuku is somewhat different than Saki, I think she's the best match overall. The physical affection she gives to you is one of the big factors.
-As someone who enjoys pda/affection, Shizuku would love to cuddle or hold hands with you all the time. She kisses you in public and just loves to be near you.
-She loves the gifts you give her as well no matter what they are. She'll always gush about them whenever someone asks about something relating to it (whether that embarrasses you or not).
-She's a very light teaser and it comes off more lovingly than anything but she enjoys it when her partner gives her attention through light teasing too.
-Although a bit airheaded, she's treating you similarly to Shiho. Asking always if you're hungry or thirsty, being the talker in public if you need it, etc. She just gives you more romantic affection than sisterly affection (obviously)
5 notes · View notes
r0ulotte · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
Hey there long time no see! I've been out of my home town the whole summer to work as a waitress and make some extra money. I haven't drawn anything in sooo long I feel so rusty, but I'll surely be more active now and respond to all the DMs that I left unread!
32 notes · View notes