#I hope you have enjoyed my aggressively Christian tags

[freshlyrage]

Running Like Water

Chapter 13

pairing: Javier Peña x OFC (written as xReader)

fic warnings: NSFW Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI) language, strained family relationships, mentions of drug abuse, discussions of insecurities and body image issues, daddy and mommy issues

fic tags: Best friends younger sister, Life-long crush, Friends to lovers, Unrequited love, slow burn, Push and Pull, Small Town Dynamics, Secret Relationships, latina MC, Fluff and Angst, OFC!Jessica Alba face claim, sorry Lorraine I'm bringing you into this, Time jumps, 2 year age gap, pre-canon

word count: 4.5k

A/N: Long time coming! I've been so busy getting ready for uni, I recently transferred colleges so my life is a MESS rn. I hope you guys like this one, new chapter hopefully next week. Enjoy my lovies

You were going to be an aunt. That was very true, very insane, but very true. Your best friend, sister in law (to be), and childhood bully had a tiny little thing in her belly. A little friend in there, Tía Andrea.

You weren't having kids for a long time, you think, so this little blessing was going to be spoiled to a T.

 Juan, you named the baby, if he was a boy, Julia, if she was a girl. An affinity for J names you've noticed, god help you.

After sulking at the thought of Javier dropping you the second he sees Lorraine, you do see your brother and congratulate him. You cry, because he's going to be a dad, you want to tell him to be the dad you two never got to have, but that was far too heavy for a guy like Frankie. You leave him be, because you were quite the cry baby and that he hated about you.  

You groan in your bed, it had been 2 whole nights since Javi left you without a word. His face so full of nothing when he looked back at you for a chin raising nod as a goodbye.

You had the privilege of working at the summer school program from 9-2, the rest of your nights were alone. Spreading jam on toast, sitting criss-crossed dipping your finger in the purple goop and finger feeding your teething sister, who almost always gripped your finger and gnaw. It sort of hurt but tickled, the feeling of no teeth, hungry teething angry baby. Those were your moments of laughter. 

You ranted to poor Marisol often, “Do you think Lorraine and Javi will just rekindle that flame? I'm so stressed Sol,” she had a permanent grin on her face so you felt like she never took your problems seriously. She was 11 months old, still you felt judged. 

“I didn't want it to end”

Pause, a fucking pause. 

“I didn't want it to end that way either. “

Your chest expanded and tightened at the thought. And you did what you have always done best.

Overthink it.

What if it was Houston that tore them, too grown too soon. What if them both standing in a wedding in their hometown, a town where they fell in love in, what if that becomes just too much for them and they realize that they can try the damn thing again. You narrow your eyes at your sister as she slobbers on her fist. Lorraine has always been prettier than you. You couldn't see why Javi wouldn't just crumble at her feet when she comes home.

And she's a Christian, like a good one.

You recall in your sophomore year being teased by a junior named Terrance. He had heard about the rumor (the half true rumor), that Javier hooked up with his best friends sister atop a car. Close, you thought.

Hook up though? Depended on your definition, and it was against the car, not on top. Anyway, he crowded you at your lunch table while your friends stood to get their meals. He claimed you made it up for attention, why would anyone cheat on Lorraine with you? You held it together, brows pulling tight and leaving without a word. Finding the bathroom and breaking down, an experience unique to teenage girls. 

Biting back sobs in a bathroom stall. 

You stare at your baby sister longer, “Don't ever let a boy talk you down, okay mama?” She babbles and you take an aggressive bite of your toast. Face screwing up realizing you never really liked this snack. And don't let a boy shut you out after he's been intimate with you. You shake your head no, I’ll tell you that one when you're older. 

Like a light bulb hovering over your head, you grab your sister and walk out your room. Storming into the living room where your mother and her husband cuddled while watching some movie. The baby babbled at the sight of her daddy, “Going to bed.” You lie and plop your sister in their laps and hurry up the stairs before your mother could question you. 

You lock your bedroom door and shed your clothes with thoughts of Javier and his stupid sexy mustache and smile. How pleased he seemed to be getting you off, bastard. You stare at the mirror while you're bare, the hickeys on your soft skin mellowing in the slightest. And despite wanting to go over to Javier's just to talk, you slip on pretty panties. Just in case. 

You dig for something less appealing to stick on your body. If you don't tempt he wont have to see what's waiting for him under it all.

Jackpot.

Frankies track pants from high school, Laredo’s awful navy and black colors. Haven't they heard, navy and black is fashion suicide. You slip the loud material on, and then a gray tank top. You don't even bother with sneakers, slippers will do. 

You don't even call, you exit through your window and hop off the small shed Mr. Warden recently built for his storage. Passing your own car and walking to Javier's house at 11 pm. 

You're huffing 2 minutes in, despite Texas being famously flat, you still had the beastly hill to get to the two paths that led to Javier's home. The short cut that involved walking 3 minutes in the woods and ending at his house in less than ten, or the main road with long haul truckers and an additional 15 minutes to the walk. 

“God, please don't let me get mauled by a wolf.” You mutter to yourself before making a left into the barely lit trail, one warm light at the beginning and one off in the distance at the end. 

Well you don't die. You do get bit by some sort of bug on your elbow and startled by a squirrel. You just repeat to yourself that this is a good idea, the two of you need to communicate.

You end up at the Peña ranch, completely dark. You start to realize how silly it was for you to show up unannounced in the dead of night but the light from Javier's room has your stomach doing a strange flip. His window closed but the view of him sat at his desk was clear. 

Javier heard your call and didn't even startle. He was confused for a moment, looking at his door to his room but ultimately he threw that idea away, you strolling in his house near midnight, no way.

Hearing a crunching of leaves and a shriek, Javier is at his feet and opening his window, his eyes meeting your flushed cheeks and a leaf in your hair. 

Javier desperately tries to bite back a laugh at the sight, shirt strap off your shoulders, in track pants and slippers. Eyes wide in embarrassment, he’s just glad you aren’t hurt from whatever caused a piece of greenery to be stuck in your hair, a hand swiping to whack the thing away. Your hair disheveled from the midnight breeze, you were so damn beautiful. Always. 

“Will you stop staring and let me in before your dad comes out here with a shotgun?” 

Javier blinks, realizing he had just been ogling you for a bit too long, “Right, sorry.” 

He grips your hands and lifts you in. You huff with the sketchy landing, effectively kicking your slippers off and dusting off those loud pants, your cheeks are still red, maybe it’s from the fall or the weather or something else. You sit on his bed, wiping your brow free of sweat. “This thing makes me sound like a fucking wind tunnel.” You tug at the oversized pants. 

A strange primal heat spread across Javier’s chest seeing you wear pants that obviously weren’t yours but instead some boys.

The heat died when he realized they’re just your brothers. He remembers Frankie wearing them back in high school. 

“Wait-how did you get here?” A worry flashing him, you bring your knees to your chest on his bed. He stood against his desk, his arms crossed, leaned forward a bit to be face level with your own. He was just a huge broad man, you had to pounce on him.

About that, you think. 

“Walked, what were you reading?” You deflect, Javier shakes his head knowing what you're trying to do, he’s known you for a decade. He knows your often poor decision making skills and inability to lie, so he presses again, ignoring your question.

“I would have picked you up if you called.”

He would have, in a heartbeat. He’d drop anything and you knew that. Through all your insecurity and self depreciation you always understood that. That pissed you off, no wonder you had fallen so hard. He was always there, fixing up whatever mess you made.

He never did really mind, but you going M.I.A on him and then putting yourself in harm's way just to see him. That pissed him off pretty bad. Then again he could also never really be angry with you, not when you're finally here with him after so many years of no contact wondering if you were okay, happy, fed, healthy or whatever he killed himself over worrying about you. 

You, and your fucking tiny tank top and big eyes like you've never done wrong in your life. To him you hadn't and if you did, those eyes tell him otherwise. You just shrug with a pretty pout and a pulled brow. That stupid thought of pressing his thumbs to your forehead smoothing out any worry you’ve ever had. “I wanted to go on a walk and ended up here.” Lie.

“It just isn’t safe.” Javi’s crossed arms flex when you narrow your eyes in annoyance.

“Believe it or not Agente, I used to take walks by myself back when you lived with Lorraine 5 months ago.” You bite and ah, thats why you’re here.

He saw the look on your face change when he spewed that awkward phrasing to Genie’s news.

Truthfully Javier didn’t mean for it to come out like that. He gripped the wheel to his truck when he dropped Genie off at her house. His pounding head leaning against the wheel, feeling so dumb. Ashamed. 

He didn’t call you because he didn’t know how.  Didn’t know if your mom would pick up or if you were actually upset with him. Maybe you felt different after he ate you out, after he bent you over and came on your back. Maybe he was a fucking idiot and moving too fast. 

But the name drop gave him confirmation. Javier dropped his eyes to the floor and let out a sigh. “Yeah, about Monday…” His eyes stay trained to the ground, bracing himself for your attitude that he strangely adored. For you to rip him a new one for making you feel bad, for making you feel unsure in whatever this was. Waiting for a justified fuck off, or a firm talk like you gave him when he saw you again for the first time last week. 

But instead he hears you sniffle. 

Well fuck, you were crying and Javier looked like you had just stabbed him. Striding to you to get on his knees and hold your knees as you sat perched up on his bed crying over something so stupid. But the whole situation gave you deja vu.

A flash of trying to look pretty for him after the two of you kissed and fading at the hollow pit in your belly when you saw him arm in arm with Lorraine just two days after. 

Communicate, it’s what you told yourself to do on your way to his house. You lost too many years by being too damn shy to tell him how you felt. 

But now that the moment was here you couldn’t help but sob. But to feel like the insecure girl trying to compete with someone in a different ball park. But this time around Javi is repeating your name and attempting to soothe you, his hands moving from your knees to your wrists. Andrea, he presses so tenderly and so concerned. 

Andrea, querida, what’s wrong, hey. 

And all other soft calls to you. “I-I’m sorry- I don’t know why i’m crying, sometimes when I’m around you—i still feel like i’m sixteen and—" He drops his head, his hands loosening at the thought of all the mistakes he made with you. Your own hands flex and move from the hold completely as he’s at your mercy, head bowed. “I understand if Lorraine coming home changes things—you two were together for a long time and I know she’s probably less complicated or-or emotional—and not someone you need to hide— I know she’s easier to have and keep. I won’t be upset, I know in comparison i’m i don’t know, homely? And never really made for a good-“

“Andrea.” His voice strained but demanding you to stop your tearful rambling. It wasn’t like you to act that way, not anymore. You’ve grown too much to let all your insecurities wash you out, but it seems that maybe you never got over 1980, maybe you couldn’t just have casual sex with Javier Peña. 

“What?” Your voice breaks, god. And there’s Javier with that same look of disappointment, in you, in himself or in your doomed situation, you weren’t sure but he looks absolutely torn in half. 

His wet lips part like he was prepared to say something but they shut as his eyes search yours.

There’s silence again and his eyes drop and you begin to fear that maybe he agreed with all that you said. Maybe he knew that when his ex came home he’d be ready to fix that, maybe he knew Lorraine was a simpler, prettier girl. So your heart breaks further every second that passes. Every second he doesn’t look at you. 

 “Be with me.” 

Your mouth parts at the softness in his voice, and what was left of your heart swelling in your chest. Tears fell harder in confusion and praying this wasn’t just another spec of false hope, hoping it wasn’t another kiss by his car or another if you tell me to stay. 

You whisper, “What?”

His own eyes, glossy. “I don’t want anyone else, I don’t want you with anyone else. Nothing will change that. I don’t care if this is difficult, I don’t care if you think you’re hard to be with. I’m just asking you to be with me Andrea.”

You frown and shut your eyes tightly. You want him to repeat it again, over and over until you two wither away together.

Maybe he also knew that you two could never just be casual. 

Javier and Andrea casually hooking up, who were you kidding?

“Okay-"

He doesn’t let you finish whatever came next, you don’t even know what else you were going to say because his lips were crushing your own. His hand holding the back of your head as he presses you close. Tying your souls in his own way, kissing and holding you. 

Finally. Oh my god…

You arch your back into him, he groans against you when he realizes his uncomfortable position. His body hunched over in order to make out with you while you sat on the edge of his bed. 

“Fuck it.” He mumbles before grabbing your ass and lifting you up. Your legs wrap against him, holding to him like a koala. His hands generously squeezing at your behind in the track pants. Your nails raking in his pretty brown hair, his mustache scraping your lips raw and you love it. 

Laying you on his bed and kissing you there would be easy, but Javier obviously could care less about easy, I mean he just asked his best friends sister to be his for good. So he held you up, licking into your mouth with your legs wrapped around his stomach. Moaning when your core rubbed against his stomach. 

“Am I too heavy?”

Javi scoffed against your lips, “shut the fuck up.”

He takes a few steps back and bumps into his desk. The image of you bent over it, taking him makes his pants tighten. He turns to sit you on it, shoving the mail from work on the floor, the thing you had been so interested in just 10 minutes ago. 

He steps back slightly, your hands still attached to him with your swollen lips and desperation for more. You looking so pretty perched up on his desk. He had to have you every day, what was he going to do when he leaves, what was he going to do?

No time for that, he grabs your face again and continues kissing you, making up for all those years you spent wanting him. All the years he spent hiding how bad he wanted you. 

Without warning Javier hooks his left hand in the front of your thin top and pulls it down. Your breasts spilling out, and he looks like he’s ready to devour you. His mouth immediately attaching to your left breast eliciting a high pitched moan from you. His wet lips suctioning on such a sensitive and untouched part of your body. His right hand moving to your unattended one. Kneading and gripping while his tongue flicked and swirled. 

Your hair falls in your face as your heavy head falls at the pleasure. Still so wet, you move your hips to hopefully get some release, “Javi, please-“

His lips part from your breast, his mouth wet and open as he looks up to you, waiting for your request. But you’re so turned on by the circumstance, by him asking you to be his, by the way his hair is falling above his brow and by your breasts spilling out of your tank top “What do you need baby?”

“I want to come.” 

His lips quirk at your bluntness. He wastes no time and begins pulling off your pants—or your brother pants. Your chest heaves when he stands straight to remove you from the desk and you get a glimpse of his hardness. Heavy in the oh so causal sleep pants that made your head spin

“I want you to come.” You add, he pauses his brows raising a bit. “We don’t have to take off our clothes, i’m not ready yet but we can-“ You cut yourself off feeling awfully shy and juvenile for the suggestion but his eyes darken at your bashfulness. You were ready to fuck him on Monday when you were clouded by horniness and the uncertainty of if it was your last time but now he wants to you to be his. You never need to rush. 

He tilts his head slightly and grabs the bottom of your tank, freeing you from it. Leaving you bare breast and in your small little underwear, placed on his desk. His pretty girl, his, finally his. 

“What baby? You wanna dry hump me? Like a couple of fucking teenagers?”

Your cheeks heat quickly, embarrassed about your stupid horny ask, feeling frozen in shame until Javi smiles again. Picking you up for what feels like a millionth time and sitting you in his lap at his desk chair. Straddling him, you feel the weight of him, so close to him.

You love kissing him, you never want to stop and you don’t, your lips working on his. Dragging to his cheek leaving wet kisses from jaw to neck. The perfect position to hear his own pretty breaths. 

In between pants he gets a hold on your waist lifting you slightly. He gives himself space to move his erection, move it to help you feel him better. Lowering you, your lips suck and nip at his neck leaving a careless mark. A whine leaves your parted lips at the contact and his lips quirk in a sweet smile. 

But the smile fades into an eyebrow screwing groan when you move on him. He repeats your name in worship. His forehead dropping to your shoulder while you use his body. So little clothing for you and so much for him. Yet he’s mumbling in your ear like he’s already on the verge of finishing.

Feeling the underside of him rub against the thin cotton throws you for a loop and you can’t seem to care how feral you have to look getting yourself off on Javi like this. His head turns to place his lips on the space below your ear.

“Don’t leave, let me keep you here forever.” He urges and your core is pulsing just from his words. “When you let me fuck you—fuck—i’ll make sure you’ll never need anyone else querida.” 

“Oh god-“ You moan, your head dropping feeling closer, his own hips bucking up to meet you. The spaced out thrusts causing you to release a high pitched squeak. 

Javier’s hand moving to the back of your head, forcing it to his neck to keep you muffled. 

“Hijo?”

Your eyes widen and you squeeze Javi tighter. You stay frozen at the sound of Don Chucho calling outside of Javier’s room. 

Javi doesn't let up, you hold a muffled whine in his neck as he continues to buck his hips into you. “Si papi-uh dad yeah?”

“Todo bien?”

Javier, still moving below you, slips his hand between you, his fingers dragging along your clothed cunt, helping speed up your process. You're so close but if you come now, there's no doubt his father will hear. 

“I’m good, uh-working on some DEA stuff.” 

You would laugh if the pad of his thumb wasn't circling your most sensitive part of your body. 

“Alright hijo, try to sleep we have to be at Mrs. Glorias home tomorrow at 12. You're coming right?”

“Uh-yeah-I’m coming” His eyes grow large and he finally stills from under you, “I mean–yes I am coming…tomorrow.”

You stifle a laugh in his shoulder and he pinches your ass.

“Um, alright, goodnight.” His dad calls, the sound of footsteps and a door slamming ends that.

And you laugh into him forreal, but his fingers returning to your panties shut you up. “You're coming Javi?” you tease.

“Shut up-” He bucks harder and you’re close, your eyes going blank. 

You move your lips to his neck again, “Papi huh?”

And then he breaks, “Fuck-Andrea”. Coming in his pants in deep grunts and grips at your ass. Coming down from his own high he gets frustrated, his fingers dipping into your panties without warning. His deft fingers collect all the moisture he created and drag to your clit.

You come in a white flash, falling off the edge. You repeat his name in whiny cries. His hands hurrying to hold you up against his while you collapse into him. Heart racing, the orgasm comes in rippling. Javier holds you, sweat and all. Kissing the top of your head, whispering sweet words of You’re so good, feel so good baby. He keeps you like this for what feels like an eternity, feeling boneless and light when he stands.

He lays you on his bed like a doll. You lay still coming down, chest rising and falling. Still pulsing at the thought of how dirty and depraved the whole thing was. So wrapped in the high and replaying all the shit you’ve always wanted to hear, you flinch when he climbs in bed with a new pair of pants. 

“You’re bad.” He groans when he settles into the bed with a creak. 

You screw your brows together and turn to him, “Yea says the guy still trying to jump my bones while his dad was outside the room you psycho!” You whisper yell and he laughs that same deep sweet laugh you love. 

Javi brings you in closer to him, kissing you a quick chaste one. Blushing at the simpleness of it all. Cuddling in bed with Javier Peña and kissing him for fun, what is my life? “Mmm, take off your panties.”

You scoff.

“Not like that–I’m tapped out, unless you want to.”

“As much as I would love to have you between my legs, I am also tired.” You reach down and slip the soaked thing off, leaning over placing them on his nightstand. He pulls up the comforter over you. 

Javier slips his arm over your stomach, thumbing your hip in light circles. “You can put them in my drawer, they're mine now.” 

“You're a pervert.” You laugh, pinching his wrist.

“Mmm, when it comes to you? Yeah a bit.”

Red as a cherry you bury your face in his chest, hiding yourself. 

Silence passes for a few minutes, just the two of you together. The reality sets in, the hiding begins. But so does being with him, so does working this out so does communicating. “I should probably leave, don't want your dad to catch me.” You whisper and he grumbles an annoyed sound from his chest.

“Dont care, stay here. I’ll sneak you out early in the morning.” He grips you tighter and you smile feeling satisfied. “Tell me about Miami.”

You frown, “What do you want to know?”

“Anything. Tell me about your roommates, classes. I never got to go to college, tell me.”

Kissing his chest again, “You say it like you’re some dropout, you’re like a secret fucking agent.” He groans again, hatong when you talk him up, he gets shy like you. You spare him. “My roommate is cool, party girl. Her name is Delilah, from Arkansas. She was like a real southern-belle, big curly hair and blue eyes. She’s been begging for me to visit since I graduated early. We got along really well but she was annoyed with me often. I never partied.”

Javier’s chest rises, “Why? You used to party a lot in high school, remember when I had to get you from Juniors house at like 2-”

“Oh god don’t remind me I was a mess, case and point. Didn’t have a hot strong brother's best friend to pick up said pieces.”

“Oh shut the fuck up.”

The two of you laugh into each other, it's simple and perfect. 

“Besides that, it was an unfulfilling experience but I teach in the fall so it worked out I guess.”

“Ms. Diaz, sexiest teacher to ever step foot in Laredo for sure. If you were my teacher, whew.”

“You need to relax.” You mumble, feeling sleepier in his arms. “What were you reading by the way?”

Javier stirs and lets out another annoyed groan, gripping you tighter. “Some stupid fucking retreat for my office. In New Orleans in June, it's for all the people who are going to Columbia in fall. Stupid shit but its all expenses paid at the Roosevelt.”

Your brows raise, “Fancy, you gonna be flirting up the staff. Chest hair out with Getting your game back on before Columbia.” He scoffs and brings his hand down hard on your behind, eliciting a screech from you. “You’re gonna leave a mark pendejo.”

“Well you have a smart mouth, would rather see you half naked by the pool. I’ll sock anyone who looks at you though,” You shove him, the out of reach thought, fantasy, of maybe going away with him flashes in your eyes. Before you could dwell, he reached down to kiss you again. He mumbles against your lips. “You gave me a hickey so we’re even.”

Your eyes flutter shut, dosing off in the warmth of Javi. In the warmth of someone who’s yours. 

Half asleep you mumble, “Why’d you come the second I said the word papi?”

He scoffs tiredly and kisses your head again.

 “Shut up.”

#javier peña #javier peña x ofc #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena x you #javier peña smut #ao3 #fanfic #javier peña narcos #javier pena x reader

[themaresnest-dumblr]

Further to the last post, got the following reply from shvkespearc (who of course would not allow a reply to the reply, but oh well ...):

Hi!! It's op!!! The artist/band choices were not meant to be specifically vampire-themed, just as the "pick a floral pattern" question was not specifically vampire-themed. HOWEVER, I would like to say that any of them could have big vampire energy. Genuinely... any song can have vampire energy if you can be creative. A song by Patti Smith inspired my vampire novel I first drafted last year. Joy Division is what I listened on repeat while drafting it. Florence + The Machine and Evanescence fueled my vampire obsession in middle school.

They weren’t ‘vampire themed’ but they have ‘vampire energy’?

Right. So because you somehow found vampire vibes in things with tenuous/non-existent links to vampires, that means they have ‘vampire energy’?

Sorry but that’s just as silly as the ‘everything’s Queer’ line doing the rounds of the zeitgeist where those into a certain thing start appropriating everything else they like as somehow being part of it.

It’s irrational to decide x = y and then look around for evidence to ‘prove’ it - sheer Margaret Murray levels of disingenuity.

Also Evanescence isn't a Christian rock band but that's for another post.

Evanescence were most certainly a Christian Goth band in their brief turn of the century heyday - indeed without the Terrified Of Anything To Do With Sex Born Again teens crowd it’s debatable they’d have come to mainstream notice.

That they junked it from expediency (and criticism) is neither here nor there (although very twenty first century of them ... ho hum ...)

I'm REALLY confused on how one would not think Chelsea Wolfe has stereotypical vampire energy. From her acoustic tracks to her doom tracks, her entire style is ominous, creepy, unsettling, and most of all, gothic. Which like... these are stereotypical vampire descriptors. (ALSO HAVE YOU SEEN HER? SHE LOOKS LIKE A VAMPIRE BUT I DIGRESS)

Chelsea Wolfe doesn’t look like a vampire, she looks like someone who tried putting on their make up whilst riding your average British train on any track outside of the commuter belt.

In other words Robert Smith style - who is only vampire chic in the eyes of the German producers of ‘The Littlest Vampire’ TV series, who chose that because Candystripe Goth is regarded as unthreatening and safe for under teens (and because German TV is terrified of anything dark and sinister lest it be accused of Nazi overtones).

I assume you didn't realize I could see all of this immediately--or at least I hope not, because I'd hope you would've been more polite and less weirdly aggressive for no reason about my vampire quiz on tumblr.com.

Of course we realised you’d see it - that’s the whole point of posting replies - including the tags. And if you thought that was being ‘aggressive’ ... ‘sheltered life’ doesn’t even begin to cover it.

For the love of plumbob, what is it with today’s yoof, where the slightest dissent to their world view leaves them ‘triggered’ and rushing to the psychologist, pills and a f**king ‘support labrador’. No wonder ISIS, Mad Vlad, North Korea, ‘The People’s Republic Of Routine Mass Genocide’, etc. thinks westerners are total pushovers and act accordingly ...

And these are the ones who will take over the world when we’re old and sick and promising to finish the job of ending climate change, etc. Jeez, may as well get that cyanide pill ready folks ‘gainst the day these spineless ninnies take over - we’re doomed!

ANYWAY: for anyone else reading this, enjoy some vampire-themed musical recommendations by yours truly!

Liquid Smooth - Mitski

Shadowplay - Joy Division

16 Psyche - Chelsea Wolfe

Dream Girl Evil ; My Best Dress ; Moderation - Florence + The Machine (extra songs for the WTF!)

Gloria: In Excelsis Deo - Patti Smith

Tourniquet - Evanescence (The song that probably got them thought of by some as Christian rock due to its Christianity-influenced lyrics written by Amy Lee, a Christian. But also, actually, a considerable amount of vampire energy! Perhaps ESPECIALLY due to the religious lyrics!)

In fact, I've packaged them into a playlist!

On Spotify.

The charge sheet just keeps growing, doesn’t it?

There is a special place in Hell for people who mislabel music and culture as ‘vampire’ when it is nothing of the kind, one where the condemned are strapped to chairs in the same fashion as Malcolm McDowell in ‘A Clockwork Orange’ and are forced to watch endless reruns of ‘The Drak Pack’ and ‘The Groovie Ghoulies’ until the Day of Judgement.

And you can be sure that f**ker Harriet Muncaster will be one of them.

#shvkespearc #vampires #okay rant over #but seriously those who put up misleading quizzes on dumblr more to do with their pet pashes ... #aaarrrrgh! #may they live their lives without shoes in The Land Of Upturned Plugs #who is harriet muncaster? #don't find out whatever you do ... #why have a support labrador anyway when you could have a support Kalashnikov instead?

[francesderwent]

I think the most compelling argument for an ending where Ben would have lived is that this was supposed to be the trilogy centered around a female protagonist.  and stereotype or not, a typical feminine story arc isn’t just redeeming the dark prince, but marrying him and living happily ever after (Beauty and the Beast, Snow White Rose Red, Pride and Prejudice, etc).  the sequel trilogy wants to have its cake and eat it too.  they had the star-crossed redemptive romance, but they didn’t have the courage to follow all the way through; at the last second, they fell back on a reparation in death which is much more typically masculine.  they weren’t willing to fully commit to a feminine story. 

and of course self-sacrifice is good and beautiful - of course!  but I think there is a little bit of fallen male pride in the insistence that a redemption story always requires death: men are more comfortable with the villain admitting his guilt if he’s able to give everything, all at once, if he can make the sacrifice himself to achieve redemption.  there’s something uncomfortable in the idea of the dignified, masculine villain living in gentle humility, continuing to face up to what he did and the fact that he doesn’t deserve the forgiveness he’s offered but can only receive it gratefully.  but that is the more feminine version of the wish-fulfillment.  

Ben's story works either way - but Rey’s story would have fit together better if he’d lived.  and in a sense, if the story was really about Rey, he would have lived.  Ben outshines the rest of the cast, rises to the position of protagonist, because his death makes the whole story to be from his perspective.

#meta whine and rant #tros spoilers #3 #4 #5 #star wars #reylo #men are more comfortable with imagining themselves as the christ-figure #than they are with imagining themselves receiving redemption they don't deserve #to some extent we all are #but it's the bridegroom / bride thing #men have to learn how to identify with both #because they are in the position of bride with respect to Christ and the Church #I hope you have enjoyed my aggressively Christian tags #on my star wars post

[eloves-writes]

a failed attempt to hate you

(tristan dugray)

a/n: i can only apologise if this writing is terrible, i wrote most of this in the middle of the night hopped up on medication for my disgusting cold. i hope it makes sense. anywho thanks for reading, enjoy, mwah <3

screw mr medina for making you help tristan study. you knew he knew from rory your inherent disdain for him, and it wasn’t your fault he was falling behind therefore not your responsibility to help him (as you had told mr medina last tuesday, with no effect). it was now sunday morning and you held little hope he would actually show up this time; he had somehow managed to cancel on your little study date 6 times already and it had only been 5 days since you were handed this apparently mammoth task. honestly, you didn’t expect him to show up at all, especially not anytime before noon- for which reasons you had made the decision put on your usual lazy sunday morning reading in bed get-up, which included (but was not limited to) an oversized rock concert shirt rory’s friend lane had given you in an attempt to clear her closet of non-christian attire, nothing but underwear underneath since you wouldn’t plan on leaving the comfort of your bedsheets for many hours, and a loose silk scrunchie you accidentally stole from rory keeping your hair out of your eyes. 

your book of choice today was ‘harry potter and the goblet of fire’ , the most recently released chapter of the boy wizard’s adventures at hogwarts. the clock beside you read 9:15 as you comfied yourself for a morning of magic and adventure, which naturally was ended a mere 8 minutes later at 9:23 when the doorbell rang downstairs. you assumed your mother would answer it, but when it rang a second time you remembered your parents had both gone out to watch your sibling’s soccer match and you’d have to get it yourself.

it didn’t even cross your mind to put pants on, or that it may not be the postman at the door, until you opened it to see your very favourite chilton student whose eyes had hastily wandered to your bare legs. typical high school boy, you thought to yourself before your brain actually grasped the situation and kick started into action.

‘tristan. hi.’ you said with a slight shock in your voice.

‘erm, hi. i hope i’m not interrupting anything,’ he smirked, glancing down at your thighs again.

you rolled your eyes so aggressively you hoped mr medina could hear it from wherever he was spending his day, irritating boy-less and free to do whatever he wanted with his time.

‘you’re not,’ you quipped. ‘i just didn’t expect you to actually show up this time. and early may i add, i’m sure we said 11.’

‘we did, but i’ve got plans later so i thought i’d come by earlier and get this over with.’

‘how did you know i didn’t have plans? i might have been busy before 11.’

he pulled a face of amusement and you could swear you saw a hint of sarcasm shining through his eyes too. ‘right. are you done talking now or can i come in?’

‘you can come in, i guess,’ you sighed, closing the door behind him and showing him to the kitchen table. ‘wait here, i’ll go and get my books.’

‘grab some pants whilst you’re at it.’

‘stop talking,’ you called as you walked upstairs.

you came back downstairs a few minutes later fully-clothed and carrying your english notes to see that tristan had wandered from the chair you specifically remembered telling him to sit in, and was instead tracing a finger along the bookcase that stretched across the far wall of your living room. for a moment you just watched him nosey into your life; the framed certificates, the family photos, the 5 tapes of ‘beauty and the beast’ stacked atop of each other because it was your favourite film when you were 9 and practically every living relative had bought you a copy. beside those was a picture of you dressed as princess belle at disneyworld with chocolate ice cream smeared from cheek to cheek, a huge smile plastered between. tristan picked it up and turned to face you.

‘thoroughly adorable. seriously, you should go for this look more often.’

‘ha ha,’ you grimaced, snatching it off him and placing it back on the shelf. ‘are we studying or reminiscing on my past fashion choices?’ 

‘oo, someone’s in a good mood this morning huh,’ he teased. you pulled another face, once again silently cursing mr medina for completely ruining not just your day, but in fact your whole week. by god this boy got more irritating the more time you spent with him- it had only been 10 minutes, but it was 10 minutes longer than you ever previously had or ever wanted to.

 ‘can i get a drink before we start?’ he asked, redirecting the conversation and walking past you back into the kitchen. he began opening various cupboards, searching for a glass. ‘where’s the-’

‘why yes, tristan. you can have a drink,’ you snarked, opening the cupboard behind him with a dramatic flourish. he raised his eyebrows at you and reached forward to grab a glass, leaning over you as he did so. you caught a whiff of his cologne and almost forgot to dislike him for a moment.

‘there’s, um, soda in the ... fridge,’ you told him, voice unwillingly faltering as he looked down to meet your eyes. he had pretty eyes. pretty, blue, sparkling, stupid, annoying, asshole eyes. 

you found the thick tension sickening. you refused to be another girl at school who simply swooned over him when he walked past your locker. you didn't like him. you were here to teach him english. because he was dumb. and actually, his eyes weren’t that nice.

he grabbed a soda out of the fridge and you both sat down at the table and began reading through your analysis of ‘to kill a mockingbird’, adamantly pretending not to see him staring at you the whole time. 

why? he had had every popular and pretty girl in the whole of chilton, how was he ever so starved of female attention that he would look at you so admirably when you liked to make it clear you despised him? in fact, you enjoyed making a special effort to flip him off, or pull a face at him when he walked by, or kick his chair extra hard in spanish, or... oh shit. you had seen it from an outside point of view now, and it was glaringly obvious; maybe you did like him, just a little bit. shit. rory owed lorelai 10$ and a cheeseburger from luke’s, though you didn’t want to have to admit she was right when she’d said you were like a kindergarten boy pulling a girl’s ponytails because he thought she was pretty.

‘hey tristan,’ you started, breaking the comfortable silence between his questions and suddenly nervous to talk to him. stupid, it was still the exact same boy you’d been complaining about all week, nothing new. 

he looked up from your notes. ‘what’s up princess?’ 

that was definitely new.

‘don’t call me princess’ -he smirked irritatingly- ‘do you need to stay much longer? i mean, is there anything else you want help with?’

‘trying to get rid of me?’

‘no! no. i just thought that you’d only stay and pretend to listen to me for like, half an hour then vanish. it’s 11:30 and you’ve been through my whole binder.’

‘it is? time flies.’

‘tristan.’

‘i do care about my grades, you know. and you’re a good teacher, i might have a chance at an A.’

‘why didn't you show up the last 6 times we planned then?’

he put down his pen- your pen, actually. it had pink sparkles on the lid. ‘got to keep up my street cred.’

‘ha ha. funny,’ you replied as blankly as possible, pulling back a smile you could feel in your stomach. you made eye contact again and, like every other time since you’d sat down and started studying, you held each other’s gaze for longer than necessary. funny how realising you like someone makes you suddenly act like it.

‘i should get going then right,’ he said, picking his jacket from the back of his chair.

you felt weird, almost as if you didn't want him to leave after praying earlier he wouldn't show up. alas, your parents would be home soon and you would be willing to bet money that tristan would have some interesting jokes about your being home alone that would not slide with your dad.

‘yeah. i hope you get that A,’ you said, accidentally smiling as you walked him to the door.

tristan turned to lean on the frame of the now-open door and put on a face of mock surprise. ‘my, my, y/n. was that a kind comment and a smile? you’re spoiling me.’

‘shut up, i hope you fail.’

he smiled back. ‘you really mean that?’

‘i guess not.’

there was yet another beat of heavy silence.

‘see you monday.’

‘see you monday.’

you closed the front door as he walked down the drive, but noticed tristan’s car keys still sat on the kitchen table. a porsche, of course. you picked them up and reopened the door to his fist poised to knock. the two of you laughed awkwardly for a second.

‘i forgot my-’

‘you forgot your-’

another awkward laugh. jesus christ this was uncomfortable. you passed him the keys, and with absolutely no warning at all, your lips were suddenly met with his. they were soft and confident, and his free hand held your face as you tried to process the new situation. you quickly melted into the kiss, letting him take control until he pulled away and smiled that sparkly smile you didn't hate as much as you tried to.

‘didn't see that one coming,’ you said breathily, brushing some loose hairs off of your face.

‘i knew you didn’t hate me.’

‘ever the arrogant twat.’

‘hey, does this mean you’ll stop kicking my chair in spanish?’

‘absolutely not. in fact, i think i’ll kick it harder.’

‘as long as you let me do that again.’

tags: @leossmoonn for inspiring me to start writing again, @account123445 & @lmaoidekanymore6 for asking me to post tristan fics! (couldn’t figure out how to make the tags work but if you read this, you know ✨)

#tristan dugray #tristan gilmore girls #chad michael murray #gilmore girls #gilmore girls fic #gilmore girls fanfiction #can't think of anymore tags so i'll just hope this does ok on its own

[meangirlsx]

Beetlejuice Hanukkah Headcanons

NOTE: I tried to base characters being Jewish off of the actors while still making it my own story and exploring both perspectives. I wanted to clarify that, so you understand why I’m writing some characters as Jewish when there hasn’t been anything necessarily established in canon or fanon (as far as I know).

Additionally, I did my best to try to make it generic, specific, and universal all at the same time. There are a lot of Orthodox Jews in my extended family who we celebrate with most years, but my immediate family isn’t very religious, so I did what I could from my own experience and experiences of friends. If you come across anything that seems glaringly wrong or accidentally offensive, please feel free to let me know. That was definitely not my intent.

Finally, to go with this, here is a drawing by the wonderful @alotofbooksalittletime​ of Beetlejuice and Lydia at the menorah!

She heard the call for Beetlejuice Hanukkah content and very kindly answered and also DELIVERED. Here is the original post of her drawing on its own, if you would like to help me spread it.

Happy Hanukkah, friends!!!

——

As the holidays approach, the group realizes they haven’t discussed how or what they’re going to celebrate

It starts with Charles, Delia, and Lydia starting to talk about it in the living room

And pretty soon, everyone else has joined in

Beetlejuice is Jewish

Barbara is Christian and Adam is Jewish, and they’ve done their best to celebrate both sets of holidays since they got together

Charles was raised in a Jewish household but he grew less religious as he got older

Emily wasn’t Jewish, but she hadn’t been very religious, either

So they celebrated major holidays with each side of the family

And they kept that going when Lydia was born, but they hadn’t really raised her in any religious practice

Delia also grew up in a Jewish family but wanted to learn about and try to experience other religions once she moved out

She especially liked Hinduism, but nothing stuck for a variety of reasons

She reconnected with Judaism after learning so many of her new family members were Jewish, and now she loves it and feels like it’s another place she belongs besides the family

So the group agrees to celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah

They’re all really excited

Hanukkah is up first, but the holidays crossover this year, so they decorate the house in a mix of decorations

The tree set up in the living room has Christmas ornaments as well as Hanukkah ones they found when they went shopping

The fireplace mantel holds a menorah, a few individual candles, a stocking for each member of the family, gold tinsel wrapped around the menorah and candles, and a garland draped above the stockings

They have a lot of fun buying and cooking food

Barbara and Adam tell the group about a local bakery that they think makes the best challah bread

And Charles gets his mother’s potato latke recipe that Lydia loved as a kid

On the first night, they start by gathering around the menorah

They agreed that it was probably best to not give everyone their own menorah

Adam lights the shamash candle, then the one candle on the far right side of the menorah using the shamash, and leads everyone in the blessings

Charles and Delia find themselves reciting the words as if they’d never really forgotten

Lydia doesn’t know the blessings, but she thinks they sound beautiful

Barbara and Adam translate and explain the blessings as they sit down for dinner

Over dinner, Barbara and Adam also explain why Hanukkah is celebrated

Beetlejuice even chimes in, he’s so excited

Charles knows the story, but not well, anymore

Delia has recently relearned it, but she loves hearing it told again

And Lydia doesn’t remember much of it from when she was younger

They all enjoy hearing the story retold with so much animation

Lydia really takes to the story of the Maccabees

She finds herself connecting to the concept of a group of underdogs fighting for what they believe in even when the odds are against them

She tries not to get emotional over it, but she does, just a little bit

Naturally, as soon as the others notice, they get emotional, too

The idea of the oil in the menorah in the temple lasting eight days instead of its estimated one also seems to bring them all hope and inspiration

After dinner, they prepare to play dreidel

Before they start the game, they all have a lot of fun just spinning their dreidels

Barbara and Adam see how long they can keep theirs spinning

Beetlejuice definitely uses his powers to keep his spinning longer than possible and even spins it on his finger like a basketball at one point

Charles and Delia haven’t played with a dreidel in a long time, but they get back in the swing very quickly

Lydia has never played with one before, so it takes her a minute to get the hang of spinning her dreidel

Once she does, she and Beetlejuice try to spin their dreidels to knock each other’s over

Eventually, they go over the rules of the game and pass out dried pinto beans to use in place of money

They end up playing for a long time

Beetlejuice and Lydia suggest continuing to play with real money

The adults insist on sticking with the beans

Barbara says that while she doesn’t really enjoy making pottery, she kind of wants to try making a dreidel

(By the following week, she’ll have made one for every single one of them)

This of course prompts Adam to start singing the dreidel song

Barbara joins him, and so does Beetlejuice

Delia ends up joining and encouraging Charles to, as well

Lydia finds it very amusing

Charles doesn’t say it, but he hasn’t sung the song since he was a boy, and singing it with this new-found family makes him emotional all over again

After a few phrases, everyone is ready to stop, except for Beetlejuice and Adam

Barbara breaks out the chocolate gelt to shut them up

But of course the song is stuck in everyone’s heads for the rest of the night

And much of the next day

They had all agreed beforehand that they would exchange most of their presents at Christmas

But they exchange one gift each

When everyone has opened their presents, Beetlejuice says he has a present for everyone and disappears into the kitchen

He returns a moment later, holding a guitar

He begins to strum the guitar relatively aggressively

And he breaks out in “The Hanukkah Song” by Adam Sandler

He doesn’t get very far before everyone stops him

They can’t help cracking up, though

He’ll never admit it, but he never actually intended to sing the whole song

He just wanted to see their reactions and end the night in laughter

——

Tag list: @mars-bars-stars​, @reader-ships​, @anxiousankylosaurus​, @msmith74​, @broadwaymusicaltrash​, @you-thinks-wrong-romeo​, @theatricalwriter​, @be-more-heidi-hansen​, @peachy-jolly​, @g1ngersp1ce​, @trumancheerleadermaui​, @dancewyou​, @percabeth15​, @coral-cat-iris​, @madameboxhead​, @elaineygrace​, @theolwebshooter​, @dontgotothenetherworld​, @ohsomightykeyboard​, @vampireamango​

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#beetlejuice #beetlejuice musical #beetlejuice broadway #lydia deetz #delia deetz #charles deetz #barbara maitland #adam maitland #beetlejuice headcanons #lydia deetz headcanons #delia deetz headcanons #charles deetz headcanons #barbara maitland headcanons #adam maitland headcanons #beetlejuice hanukkah #beetlejews #beetlejuice fanart #Lydia deetz fanart #I'm back on my posting late bullshit #expect to see me reblogging this tomorrow #for the people who are in different timezones #or are good at sleep schedules

[chasethesun18]

Dedication is a lovely term to cover up an excess of too much idle time on my hands; thank you for phrasing it so delicately.

Same, Kermit, same. I mean, let me run down the non-exhaustive list off the top of my head: Bones/Booth, Caskett, Olicity, Skyeward, Miggy, Deckerstar, BELLARKE, and probably more.

"Bc as the person who always has her heart on the sleeve and gets screwed over 99% of the time, sometimes you gotta hide that shit until someone proves they’re really going to love you. until someone puts THEIR heart on their sleeve for YOU. and I think that’s beautiful." Oh, boy, too real. I've had close friendships end because the other person grew out of me and walked away, so I feel this in my soul. I'm usually the person to put more into friendships and be left behind, so I wound up as an adult who comes across as aloof and unattached, even though I'd probably talk your ear off if I felt comfortable with a person. Even my own mother has accused me of being stuck-up. This is kinda fair because I tend to be aggressive when someone pokes me out of my comfort zone. It takes some understanding of me to know why I am the way I am. And even I don't always understand it.

“All I had to say was my unpopular opinion of not liking the camera zoom in during the dream." I get it. The editing of the scene gets hazy and disorienting and yanks you out of the moment, which I suspect, was the point. It's meant to make you feel as Higgy does. It's all good, except it came across as cheesy as a PG-rated Christian Mingle commercial. They redeemed themselves with Higgy's funny-as-hell disappointment in realizing its a dream.

I am the exact sort of Tumblr user who's skittish about going ~too~ multifandom out of courtesy for disrupting my followers' timelines from the 100 fandom. Otherwise, I would greedily hoard content of all my current and past fixations as indistinguishably as dragons do. So I...kinda, sorta...*whispers*dump all my Magnum PI thoughts on your doorstep. Sorry! 😳😚 At least I reblogged the long post, plus the other ask about Rick under the last one, so...there's that. It's under the cut, but...baby steps. I just watched 4x12, so I'll probably be sending something else. *sheepish*

I was yesterday years old when I learned Zachary Knighton and Betsy Phillips are married in real life with an adorable baby boy! I found out under a YouTube comment, of all things. Rick/Suzy have gotten 10x cuter now.

I would ask how Teen Wolf's going, but your thoroughly amusing tags under the reblogs are a sufficient enough picture and very entertaining. I'm not gonna lie, I am using your reblogs to gauge how the show went. I heard stellar reviews about the first half of the show, and mixed reviews for the second half. If you enjoy the story through the end, it's encouraging. I was ROBBED of Scallison, y'all had better give me Stydia and happy endings for all of the home team.

If, after Teen Wolf, you're looking for something else to watch, I can't speak highly enough of Lucifer if you haven't seen it. If you like Teen Wolf and Legacies, I think you'd have a lot of fun with Lucifer. I would love to see you freak out about it like Stydia, a lot of laughs for me.

And speaking of new shows, *wags finger* I have a bone to pick with you. You're sparking a slight interest in Legacies in me AGAINST MY WILL. Not only has the CW been on razor-thin ice with me post-the 100 s7 (haven't started anything new and all shows I put a pin in have been left there), I SWORE OFF any new Julie Plec show. Since she killed Stefan Salvatore and Klaus Mikaelson in their respective shows, I can’t say I’m inclined to sign up to watch a third Plec production. A showrunner-audience member relationship can’t get any more incompatible when the one pulling the strings loves tragic endings, and the consumer in question abhors them. If Hope survives Legacies, color me shocked.

have we talked about skyeward? i feel like we have. either way yes, the head and the heart are my bread and butter

i totally get it. & im sorry your mom said that, sometimes moms really say the things that cut the deepest, even when they dont mean it

dream sequence - thats true, i guess the point of it was to pull you out of the moment. i just wanted to see the full picture. the hands. i did greatly appreciate how disappointed she was when she realized she was dreaming tho. not why is my best friend trying to kiss me? but damn it why am i dreaming that my best friend is trying to kiss me instead of my best friend ACTUALLY trying to kiss me???

girl, my blog has not been singular focused since i started. its like multiverse of madness, but multifandom of madness. the closest i get is when i do stuff like watch t100 or teen wolf after they've aired and then feel compelled to reblog every gifset from every episode & then anyone who came here for something beyond that show is out of luck. but yes reblog all the things! embrace multi fandom life!! (bellarke on my dash still feels like a shot to the heart im not gonna lie)

HAHA im glad at least one person enjoys my tags bc they are quite excessive...i just have to get my thoughts out you know? its going SO good, i've heard the bad reviews for the back half too but im having so much fun? still love it, still enjoying it, clearly still losing my mind. i just got to the big i love you scene so i apologize in advance for the onslaught of stydia everyones dash is about to receive. and for the all caps...

ive heard so much about lucifer and im thinking about starting it for sure. its a little weird for me because i am a christian so i dont really like the fact that im undeniably gonna fall in love with the main character who is..the devil..but its got such castle vibes. and again, the head and the heart.

legacies legacies legacies!!! it does dip halfway through s2 and the majority of s3 but this season is SO good. very much bringing back the tvd and to feels. yeah the cw is a tricky one, but i like to think 99% of the problem was and forever will be jroth. legacies is more lighthearted than the other two (well...not so much rn. but like overall it is) but i get the julie plec avoidance. i personally really liked the ending of tvd but the originals was definitely rough. i stopped watching that for a long time and then binged s5 just so i could start legacies and i think having legacies as my end goal made me not dwell on the fact that the ending is sad as hell. i DESPISE tragic endings. slut for suffering? yes. hoe for the angst? yes. but if theres no PAYOFF?? if it doesn't end well??? im out. so if hope the light of my life mikaelson dies.....no one contact me for 8-10 business days

#oh and yes are zach and betsy so cute???? really makes it make sense why a random guest star had so much chemistry w him once you know #asks #otp-armada

[ohfrickfanfic]

Blasphemy

Just a heads up this might be a little mish mash of Christianity and Catholosimn since I was raised Catholic and know more of that terminology/practices, but their fairly similar and this is fiction so just roll with it.

Word count: 6.7K

Pairings: Fuck boy! Josh x Churchboy!Tyler

Warnings/tags: Enemies to Lover’s, bullying, underage drinking, peer pressure to drink, blasphemy, sacrilege, sex in a church, unholy uses of anointing oil, degradation, hair-pulling, coming out, loss of virginity, anal fingering, rimming, lots of song lyrics. 

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Churchboy,” Tyler hears coming from behind him, just moments after exiting his dorm room.

He doesn’t even have to look to know who it’s coming from; Joshua Dun, the last person Tyler was hoping to see on his first day of college. ‘This is what I get for wanting to stay local’, he thinks to himself, continuing down the hall and trying to ignore Josh as he always has, but it’s not that easy.

Maybe to some, college means wild, drunken parties and getting laid, but not to Tyler. He takes his education very seriously, and other than the few sips of wine he has at church every Sunday where he serves as senior acolyte, he doesn’t drink either. And as for getting laid, Tyler is a virgin. His religious beliefs play a big role in that but being in the closet plays an even bigger role, which, is a whole other story in itself.

Having recently come to terms with his sexuality, Tyler struggles with his faith. He’s a firm believer and wants to live a righteous life, but he can’t deny who he is, and it often eats away at him.

To Tyler, college is supposed to be about new beginnings and fresh starts. It’s supposed to be about learning, growing as a person, and living life to the fullest, but how is Tyler going to do any of that now that his past has seemingly followed him to college?

Josh Dun was Tyler’s high school bully, and ironically, his first same-sex crush. No matter how many times Josh broke Tyler’s spirit with the way he treated him, Tyler’s heart would pound with lust whenever he was around, and Tyler hated him for it. He hated him for how low he made him feel with his words, and he hated him for how high he made him feel late at night when he was alone in his room. And now, in college, Tyler’s going to have to deal with the highs and lows that come with Joshua Dun once again.

“I’m talking to you, Churchboy!” Josh calls, raising his voice as he catches up to Tyler. He yanks him by the arm, cornering him between the wall and the double doors that lead further down the hall. “We met again,” he says, staring at Tyler intensely. Just then, the double doors fly open, almost hitting the two as one of Josh’s skater friends emerges through the doors.

“Dun! What up, cocksucker?” his friend Brendon shouts, playfully punching Josh in the arm while passing by. “Wanna grind the rails on the ramp at the library after classes? You know how that always pisses the librarians off,” he turns around to ask, walking backward down the hall.

“Sure thing! Catch you later, man,” Josh answers, returning his attention to Tyler.

“You’re g-gay?” Tyler questions bravely.

“Where the fuck did you get that from?” Josh asks.

Nervously, Tyler lifts his arm, pointing down the hallway toward Brendon, “B-but he called you—”

“He was just fucking around. That’s what friends do. Maybe you’d know if you had some,” Josh quips. “Why? You wanna suck my cock or something?” Josh asks, taking a step closer to Tyler and teasingly eyeing him up and down.

Tyler’s silence speaks volumes.

“You do, don’t you? Admit it, if I were church, you’d get on your knees.” Josh taunts, placing both hands on the wall behind Tyler, boxing him in. “Say it!”

“Josh—”

“Say. It.” Josh hisses in his ear.

“Frick! Fine. If you were church, I’d get on my knees,” Tyler rushes out quickly, ending with a knee to Josh’s balls, shoving him away, and making his way through the double doors humiliated, angry, and slightly turned on.

“Fuck! Josh groans loudly, grabbing himself and doubling over in pain. “You’re gonna get it! Your ass is mine, Joseph!” he shouts after him.

************************************************

Finally, back in his dorm room after a long day of being half hard in his classes, Tyler lays on his bed, quickly shoving his jeans down his thighs, along with his boxers, and begins a slow tug on his length. Images of Josh play through his mind as he wills himself to get fully hard, but the anger, embarrassment, and upset of the day’s earlier events won’t allow it.

Frustrated, Tyler spits in his palm and tries again. He pictures Josh cornering him against the wall with passion, not hatred, and pretends his aggression is neediness. He pictures his words are meant for pleasure, not punishment, as he visualizes getting on his knees for Josh.

Suddenly, his dorm room door flings open.

“Oh shit, sorry!” Tyler’s best friend, Jenna, squeaks out, quickly turning around and closing the door before anyone else sees. “Did you forget you invited me over to study? I can come back,” she says with one hand over on her eyes and the other clutching onto the biology book under her arm.

“It’s fine, I’m not getting anywhere anyways,” Tyler huffs, pulling his pants back up. “And don’t you ever knock, by the way?” Tyler teases, pumping hand sanitizer onto his palm. “This isn’t the first time this has happened.”

“I wouldn’t have to knock if you weren’t always masturbating in the middle of the day,” Jenna teases, turning back around. “I still remember last time, back in high school, when I caught you getting off to that asshole J— “

Jenna’s words are interrupted by a loud pounding on the door and a familiar voice. “I know you’re in there, Joseph. I’m not done with you,” Josh shouts, passing Tyler’s room.

“Tyler, noooo!” Jenna reprimands, taking a seat by Tyler on his bed, placing her textbook to her right. “Not again!”

“Ughh, I know, I know,” Tyler says ashamed, covering his face. He slides his hands up into his hair, twirling one piece anxiously and begins to try an explain himself.

“I didn’t know he was even gonna be attending here, I swear. I was heading to class this morning and I heard someone shout ‘Churchboy’. I knew it was him instantly; he’s the only one who ever calls me that. I tried to ignore him and just keep walking, but then he cornered me…”

Tyler goes on to tell Jenna of the morning’s events in great detail, down to the way Josh’s warm breath felt on his neck as he hissed lewd demands in his ear, and how his colorful sleeve tattoo contorted as his arm muscles flexed, boxing Tyler in.

“You got it bad, Ty— real bad,” Jenna says with a slight laugh, shaking her head once Tyler’s done rambling on about Josh.

“I knowwww,” Tyler drawls with an annoyed whine. “I just can’t stop thinking about him.”

“I just don’t get it, Tyler. What do you see in him? I mean besides his hard-to-miss, bright yellow hair and good looks. C’mon, Ty, he treats you like shit. You don’t have a chance in hell with him, and even if you did, he doesn’t deserve you,” she says, taking his hand and sandwiching it between hers.

“Honestly, Jenna, I have no idea. I’ve asked myself the same question many times,” Tyler admits.

“Just promise me you’re not gonna let him get to you and affect your grades and what not,” Jenna says, releasing Tyler’s hand and shifting to pick up her biology book by her side.

“I’ll try not to, but I’m pretty sure I’m getting my ass kicked the next time he sees me,” he states with nervous laughter.

“Page fifty-three,” Jenna says, shaking her head as opens her book.

*********************************************

It’s Sunday now. The rest of the week had gone on without incident. In fact, Tyler hasn’t even seen Josh once. He doesn’t know whether he should be relieved, disappointed, or worried. ‘Maybe it was just a freak thing running into him that day. The campus is huge, certainly days could go by without running into each other,’ he tells himself, mostly to calm his worrying mind as he gets ready for church.

**********************************************

“Good morning, Tyler,” the pastor greets him as Tyler enters the sacristy, where the robes and other items used in worship are kept.

“Good morning, Pastor,” Tyler returns his hospitality and makes his way over to the wardrobe.

“How was your week?” the pastor asks while Tyler slips a white robe on over his clothes.

“Eventful, to say the least,” Tyler answers. “Well, actually, that was just one day, but still, it feels good to be here.”

“Well, I’m sorry you had a rough day, but I think I have just the thing to cheer you up,” the pastor states. “Today, and for the next few Sundays, you’ll be serving alongside a new altar server. He’s young, about your age, but here’s the thing, he’s a real troublemaker. It seems he’s doing this as some sort of community service. I didn’t have to let him serve it here, but I know how much you enjoy helping others and I thought maybe you could befriend him while you teach him the ropes. You know, help get him on the right path.”

“Thank you, Pastor. I’ll do my best.”

“Oh, actually I think he’s here now. I’ll be right back. I’m just going to show him in.”

Tyler gathers the things needed for service while he waits. He arranges them meticulously on a gold tray and carries them out to the altar, followed by the bells. Once done, he returns to the sacristy.

“Tyler, this is the young man I was telling you about. I’d like you to meet—"

“J-Josh!?” Tyler blurts out, taken aback. He hadn’t seen Josh in nearly a week, and church was the last place he expected to see him, and with brunette hair nonetheless.

“Oh, wonderful! You two already know each other. Tyler, I think you’re just the thing this young man needs. I’m looking forward to seeing you work together,” the pastor says, making his way over to the wardrobe. “Joshua, today you’ll mostly just be observing Tyler. Stand when he stands, kneel when he kneels, etcetera. But also watch carefully as he performs his duties so that you may help next Sunday. And try to arrive a little earlier next week,” the pastor speaks, handing Josh a white robe. Josh nods as he takes the garment, giving the pastor a fake smile of understanding in response. “Service is about to start, is everything all set Tyler?”

“Yes, Pastor. All set.”

“Great. Let’s begin,” the pastor says, stepping out into the hall just as the choir begins singing Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah.

Quickly, Josh slips the robe on over his clothes with a roll of his eyes and Tyler motions for him to follow the pastor. Grabbing the large candle lighter by the door, Tyler swiftly lights it and joins the procession, walking side by side with Josh down the aisle between the pews to the altar. The pastor and Tyler both bow, Josh following seconds later. The pastor turns left to the pulpit and Josh follows Tyler to the right towards the altar, watching as he lights the candles. Tyler extinguishes the candle lighter’s flame, standing the lighter up against the wall before taking his seat in one of the two large, elaborately carved gold chairs behind the pastor’s pulpit.

“You dyed your hair,” Tyler whispers as Josh sits in the chair beside him, scooting back on the oversized red velvet cushion.

“Shut up,” Josh mutters quietly under his breath.

“Josh, you can’t talk like that in here,” Tyler warns lowly.

“Watch me.”

********************************************

“Do you think you two will be okay here by yourselves to finish putting everything away? I have some errands to run,” the pastor asks back in the sacristy after service as everyone hangs their robes back in the wardrobe.

“I-I don’t think—” Tyler starts.

“I don’t think that would be a problem, Pastor,” Josh cuts Tyler off, giving him a mischievous look.

“Great! I’ll see you two next Sunday,” the pastor says before leaving.

“Ummm, can you bring me the ciborium and the chalice so I can put them back in the tabernacle?” Tyler asks Josh hesitantly.

“The what and the what?” Josh asks with a baffled look.

“The container used to hold communion and the cup for the wine,” Tyler clarifies.

“Ya coulda just said that, Churchboy,” Josh huffs under his breath, walking to the altar. Tyler takes them from Josh when he returns and begins wiping the chalice with a clean white cloth.

“Ooooh, wine! Josh exclaims, reaching into the tabernacle, grabbing the bottle he noticed, and popping open the cork.

“Josh, nooo!” Tyler scolds, trying to grab the bottle back from Josh but it’s too late. Josh has already brought the bottle to his lips and begun taking a large sip.

“Have some,” Josh says, holding out the bottle to Tyler.

“I -I don’t drink.”

“Bullshit. We both just drank the damn wine from that fancy cup thing a few minutes ago during — whatever the fuck that was we just did,” Josh quips.

“That was communion. The ‘fancy cup’ is called a chalice, and that was the blood of Christ,” Tyler corrects him.

“Riiiiiiight,” Josh says with a sarcastic nod and crinkled brow. “Tell ya what, have some wine and show me you know how to chill out and live a little, and maybe I won’t fuck with you so much.”

“Fine,” Tyler says reluctantly, quickly returning the other items to the tabernacle before snatching the bottle from Josh’s grasp.

With his back against the wardrobe door, Tyler sinks down onto the lurid, seafoam green carpet of the sacristy and takes a large sip, passing the bottle back to Josh, who has joined him on the carpet.

“I know you told me to shut up about your hair earlier, but I ummmm… I-I like it brown,” Tyler says nervously, trying to break the ice as Josh takes another sip.

“Yeah, I don’t, but they said I had to dye it a ‘natural’ color in order to serve my community service here,” Josh says, making air quotes at the word ‘natural’. “And since none of my other usual places I’ve served community service wanted me back, I got stuck with this,” Josh says, handing the bottle back to Tyler.

“How’d you end up with community service anyways? If you don’t mind me asking,” Tyler asks, then drinks again.

“Me and Bren got arrested for grinding on the rails at the library the other day after classes,” Josh admits. “Apparently, it’s destruction of property,” Josh adds in a mocking, authoritative voice.

They pass the bottle back and forth until it’s empty, making small talk between sips and even sharing an occasional laugh once Tyler starts to relax.

“Ya know, maybe you’re not so bad after all,” Josh teases, nudging Tyler with his elbow. “So, tell me, was that the first naughty thing you’ve ever done, Joseph? Hmmmm? Drinking a few months shy of your twenty-first birthday, you big sinner, you,” Josh jokes, sounding more playful and less brash than usual, punching Tyler in the arm.

And there it goes again, that familiar feeling brewing in his pelvis every time Josh starts teasing him like this. Josh’s words sound a bit more suggestive as Tyler replays them through his mind before answering.

“No, I’ve— I’ve committed p-plenty of sins,” Tyler admits with a shaky voice, his hand flying up to twirl a small section of his wavy brown hair.

“Really?” Josh scoffs. “Like what?”

“Well, for starters, I’m gay,” Tyler blurts out.

“You’re what?” Josh asks again in disbelief.

“Frick! Why? Why the heck did I just tell you that? Like you need more things to use against me,” Tyler says, burying his face in his hands.

“Nah man, don’t worry about it. Me too,” Josh responds honestly with a shift in his demeanor.

“I-I’ve only ever told Jenna, and for some stupid reason now I go and tell you! What the heck is wrong with me?” Tyler rambles nervously. “Wait, wh-what did you just say?” Tyler asks, his pulse beginning to quicken.

“I said, ‘me too’,” Josh repeats. “As in… I’m gay too. And yeah, pretty much same, only Brendon knows.”

“Oh, wow… ummm,” Tyler rubs at his brow in shock as he tries to find words. “So, like, are you and Brendon, ummm…"

“What? Dating? No, just friends,” Josh smiles. “With occasional benefits,” he adds with a laugh after a long pause.

Tyler shakes his head, trying to rid it of his attraction to Josh that’s currently clouding his judgment. “No, you’re full of it! I don’t believe you. I refuse to be a victim of your sick head gam—,”

Tyler’s words are cut short by Josh’s soft lips pressed firmly to his. His body goes limp and motionless; paralyzed by shock his lips are unable to kiss back.

“Sorry,” Josh says, breaking the kiss.

With his eyes locked on Josh in a trance-like gaze, Tyler brings his fingertips to his own lips, touching them in disbelief.

“I’m sorry,” Josh repeats. “I didn’t have the right to do that. It’s not fair to you. I’ve always been so cruel to— “

This time it’s Tyler’s lips that interrupt Josh, kissing him back. His thumbs brush over Josh’s blushed cheeks, cupping his face, and eagerly pulling him in. With one swipe of his tongue, Josh parts Tyler’s lips, gaining access to his warm, wet, mouth, and deepening the kiss.

Smacking sounds echo throughout the small church room as their tongues dart wildly in and out of each other’s mouths. “You have no idea how long I’ve dreamt about doing that,” Tyler says after the kiss has ended.

“What? Kissing me?” Josh asks, bewildered. “You can’t be serious. Why?”

“Ha, I wish I knew,” Tyler says, letting out a small chuckle. “You’re always so vile to me. I pretend like I don’t care, even though I really do, but I’m twisted up inside my mind and part of me kind of enjoys it. Almost in a -a, like, sexual wa— why am I telling you this?”

“Sounds like you have a degradation kink,” Josh smirks, standing to face Tyler. “I can work with that.” Quickly, Josh undoes his belt, shoving his pants and boxers down his thighs in one swift motion, revealing his already half-hard cock and begins stroking it. Tyler eagerly shifts onto his knees in front of Josh, gazing up at him with lust filled eyes.

Towering over Tyler, Josh grabs a handful of Tyler’s hair, craning his neck back; watching his Adam’s apple bob in his throat. “I distinctly remember saying something to you last week about church and being on your knees— who woulda guessed?” Josh laughs, talking down to him. “Now suck!”

With a shaky, inexperienced hand that’s only ever pleasured himself, Tyler reaches up, grasping Josh’s now fully erect length and brings it to his lips. He may be a virgin, but he’s not clueless. He’s watched enough porn to know the basics, and he knows the areas of himself that are more sensitive to touch than others, so he decides to focus on those areas on Josh first.

With his eyes locked on Josh’s, Tyler opens his mouth, giving an experimental lick to the underside of Josh’s tip. Josh shudders in pleasure, his eyes fluttering closed as he grips Tyler’s hair tighter. Taking it as a sign he’s doing well, Tyler repeats the action several times before changing it up a bit and circling the circumference of the head with his tongue before encompassing it completely with his mouth. Slowly, Tyler begins to bob over Josh’s length, embarrassed he may gag if he takes him any deeper.

“Mmm, Tyler, you ever done this before?” Josh questions, enjoying himself but noticing Tyler’s hesitation.

“Unh uh,” Tyler hums with his mouth full.

“Oh f-uck!” Josh hisses, the vibrations driving him wild. “Keep that up and there’s gonna be a lot more on that tongue than Hallelujah.”

Until then Josh was content letting Tyler control the depth, but now he can’t help but push Tyler’s head down until his tip brushes the back of his virgin throat. Tyler gags and his eyes brim with tears, but he finds himself surprised that he actually enjoys the feeling, much like when Josh taunts him.

“I want you to remember what I taste like every time you get on your knees to pray,” Josh teases, thrusting his hips forward and gagging Tyler again, causing his throat to tighten around Josh’s length. “Mmm fuck. You love me using your throat like this, don’t you? Such a good little slut for me.”

Tyler moans and quickly begins palming himself through his exceedingly tightening pants; Josh has to be right about his degradation kink because every harsh word is traveling straight to his dick.

“Stand up!” Josh orders, pulling Tyler up by his hair, saliva stringing from the corners of his mouth. Switching his grip from his hair to his shirt, Josh grabs Tyler, pulling him in for a sloppy kiss. His fingers descend the placket of Tyler’s button-down shirt painfully slow, pausing every few buttons to rest his forehead against Tyler’s, allowing them to catch their breath.

“Josh, please,” Tyler begs, thrusting his hips forward and shouldering off his shirt as Josh undoes the last button at the bottom, his hand hovering centimeters away from where Tyler wants it most. Josh rapidly undoes Tyler’s belt and unfastens his pants, letting them pool by his ankles.

“Is this what you want?” Josh asks, shoving his hand into Tyler’s boxers, gripping him firmly as he begins pumping him.

Instantly Tyler’s eyes roll back, his jaw-dropping, his mouth hanging open to take in a deep, shaky breath. “F-uuuck,” he exhales, blown away by how heavenly a simple hand can feel and how different — better — it feels that his own.

“You can’t talk like that in here,” Josh mocks.

“Can’t. Help. It. Feels. So. Good.” Each one of Tyler’s words is punctuated by a breathy moan as he leans forward, burying his face into Josh’s shoulder. With his free hand, Josh cradles the back of Tyler’s neck, and continues to stroke him with the other, Tyler’s whimpers dampening the fabric of Josh’s shirt. Tipping his head down, Josh begins mouthing at Tyler’s neck, discreetly wetting his middle finger in the process before trailing his hand down Tyler’s back and slipping it into the back of his boxers.

“What are you doing?” Tyler questions lifting his head, surprised by the feeling of Josh’s wet finger pressing between his cheeks.

“Prepping you. You want me to fuck this tight little hole, don’t you?” Josh asks, sliding his finger in up to the second knuckle.

“Huuuuhh,” Tyler gasps loudly, collapsing forward once again and nodding ‘yes’ against Josh’s clavicle.

With Tyler’s knees buckling from the pleasure of both Josh’s hands working him simultaneously, Josh decides it would be best to bend him over. Keeping his finger moving inside of him, he roughly spins him around. Moving his hand from his cock to his shoulder blades, he bends him over an ornate chair, identical to the ones they sat in during service and kneels behind him, sliding his boxers down his legs.

“Knees up,” Josh instructs, lightly giving Tyler’s ass two quick consecutive smacks.

Facing the backrest of the oversized chair, Tyler does as he’s told, bringing his knees up one at a time and kneeling on the velvety red cushion while Josh removes the tangle of fabric from around his ankles. With the new angle, Josh is able to penetrate Tyler deeper, his finger brushing past his prostate.

“J-esus Christ! W-what was that?” Tyler blurts out, pushing back on Josh’s finger, desperate to feel the sensation again.

“You like that, huh?” Josh can’t help but chuckle at the religious boy’s ecstasy-laden outburst.

“Uhhh fuck! Do it again!”

“You’re getting quite the mouth on you, Churchboy. I like it!” Josh smirks. “If you like that, then you’re gonna love this…”

Josh sucks the middle finger of his free hand into his mouth, coating it with saliva. His knuckles grind together as he eases it in alongside the other, stretching Tyler out.

“Mmmm— Josh! More!” Tyler pants, gripping the intricately carved frame of the chair, clearly enjoying the addition of the second finger.

“Don’t worry baby, I’m just getting started,” Josh teases, continuing to work him open. Moving both fingers in and out of him in unison, he creates a small gape between his digits. Leaning forward, he begins to lap at the opening, fucking Tyler with his tongue, causing him to writhe needily, and bounce back against Josh’s face.

Enjoying the response he elicited from Tyler, Josh groans and slips his fingers out. Tyler whines at the loss of the feeling, but is quickly satisfied when Josh abruptly grabs his cheeks, spreading them open, and delves his tongue back in between them but this time, sloppier, wetter, rougher. The licking continues until Josh feels Tyler is sufficiently slicked, his saliva trickling down Tyler’s crack and dripping off his balls.

“You ready?” Josh asks as he stands, tugging on his painfully hard dick.

“Mmm, ready.” Tyler nods.

Slowly Josh starts to push in.

“Uhh, ahh— shit!” Tyler grunts, tensing up, his fingers that were once gripping the decorative chair frame in pleasure now making carvings of their own as he digs in his fingernails. Josh quickly pulls out and heads to the supply cabinet.

“Josh, what the hell are you doing? Come on,” Tyler begs.

“No, I was hurting you. I’m looking for something. I have an idea, just gimme a minute,” Josh says, scouring the contents of the cabinet. “Don’t you guys have some kind of, like, oil for fucking sick people or some shit?”

“Anointing oil?” Tyler questions. “Yeah, bottom shelf, next to the Holy Water.”

“Found it!” Josh quickly opens the bottle, pouring some into his palm and slathering it over his length.

“Somehow, I don’t think this is what they meant in Ecclesiastes when they said, ‘Let your garments always be white and let your head lack no oil,” Tyler snickers at his own pun.

“I swear, only you would make bible jokes when you’re about to get fucked in the ass,” Josh teases, rolling his eyes. “You ready? Let’s try this again.”

Tyler nods and Josh lines himself up once again, cautiously entering him.

“Better?”

“Uh, mmm, better, but— “

“Yeah, it’s probably still gonna hurt a little. The head’s the worst part. I promise it will start feeling better after that. Let me know if it’s too much or you want me to stop, okay?”

“K.”

Reaching an oiled-up hand around Tyler’s hip to his cock, Josh begins pumping him in an effort to distract him from pain as he attempts to push in deeper. He has the head almost all the way in when he senses Tyler’s muscles tensing and notices his face twisting into a grimace.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed if it hurts, Tyler. You can tell me. I know the first time isn’t exactly a walk in the park, and I want you to be as comfortable as possible.” Josh pauses, allowing Tyler to acclimate to the stretch.

Peppering kisses along Tyler’s shoulder blades, Josh runs his left hand up and down the expanse of Tyler’s torso, his other hand simultaneously working to keep Tyler hard through the pain. He keeps this up, waiting for a signal that Tyler’s ready for more, and then he gets it; Tyler lets out a small moan and Josh feels his weight shift back towards him.

“Mmm, better now,” Tyler says with his voice still slightly strained, but his body much more relaxed.

“Ok, I’ll go slow. If I’m hurting you, you need to tell me Tyler.”

Josh studies Tyler’s expression and body language, looking for any signs of discomfort as he pushes in deeper. Not sensing any, he begins to set a slow and gentle rhythm, moving his hands to Tyler’s hips and stroking both sides encouragingly as he rocks his pelvis against the flesh of Tyler’s backside.

“Josh!” Tyler gasps breathily.

“Am I hurting you?” Josh pauses momentarily, awaiting Tyler’s answer.

“No, feels so good. Don’t stop.”

“Mmmm, you want me to fuck you harder?” Josh asks, tangling his fingers in Tyler’s hair.

“Please. Yes!”

“Yes, what?” Josh says harshly, pulling his tousled brown waves.

“Uhh umm?” Tyler mutters, confused by the question.

“It’s Sir. Yes, Sir,” Josh grits through his teeth, tugging Tyler’s head back.

“Oh fuck!” Tyler moans. “Yes, Sir”

Gripping tightly onto Tyler’s hips, Josh slowly draws back his own hips, then hastily trusts them forward, his skin clapping against Tyler’s, giving him a taste of what’s to come. Loud, pleasure-filled cries escape Tyler’s lips and his arms begin to weaken, the majority of Tyler’s upper body now being mostly supported by Josh’s grip on his hair.

“You like that, huh?”

“Yes!” Tyler cries out, “Y-yes sir,” he corrects.

Josh maintains the new pace, roughly fucking in and out of Tyler’s tight hole.The once shy, quiet, religious boy under him a blissed-out mess of whimpers, whines, and words he seldom uses as orgasm nears.

“I’m gonna—” Tyler doesn’t even finish his sentence before spurts of warm cum fountain from his tip, landing in copious amounts on the chair’s soft red fabric below him.

Josh releases Tyler’s hair, letting his pleasure-wracked body fall forward. With Tyler’s head pressed awkwardly against the backrest of the chair Josh palms the side of his face, holding his head against the plush fabric as his own climax hits, his hips faltering as he finishes inside Tyler.

His dick pulses one last time, emptying the last bit of cum before he pulls out. Sweaty and exhausted, Josh sinks down to the floor, tugging Tyler down with him before softly whispering, “Come here.”

“You alright?” Josh chuckles out of breath, rubbing soothing circles on the inner thigh of Tyler’s visibly shaking leg.

Tyler pants rapidly, trying to catch his breath before answering, “Yeah, I think so,” he laughs, “I’ve just never came that hard before.”

“I wasn’t planning on being that rough with you since it was your first time, but you seemed to be enjoying yourself once we got going. You took that like a champ,” Josh smirks.

Tyler starts to blush, feeling slightly embarrassed that Josh had discovered something about himself that even he didn’t know about or understand until today, but it all made so much sense now.

“Hey, you don’t be ashamed of what you’re into,” Josh states, nudging Tyler’s leg with his knee, noticing the rosy hue developing on his cheeks. “Everyone has their kinks.”

“I know, it’s just that before today the only thing I knew about myself ,sexually, was that I was into boys.”

“You’ll learn even more as you gain more experience,” Josh says, “So you really haven’t done any of that before? Not even with a girl?”

“Nope. I - Uh -I kissed Jenna and she let me touch her boobs once, in like, high school when I was still trying to figure myself out,” Tyler admits, “but that’s about it.”

“Well, I’d be more than willing to help you figure out what else you’re into some time,” Josh smiles. “Would you like that?”

“God, yes!” Tyler answers.

“You’re just full of sins today, aren’t you?” Josh laughs, “What happened to the innocent little Churchboy who told me I couldn’t say ‘shut up’ in church?” Josh teases.

“I guess blasphemy is just for me,” Tyler chuckles.

“You’re killing me, Joseph,” Josh joins in Tyler’s laughter. “Come on, those legs working yet? We got a lot of work to do. Why don’t you start with that chair?” Josh laughs again, pulling Tyler up onto his feet.

*********************************************

Tyler phones Jenna the second he’s back inside his dorm to tell his best friend the news.

“Hey Ty,” Jenna answers.

“Jenna, are you sitting down?”

“Yessss? Are you?” she asks, confused.

“I’m not sure I even can,” Tyler laughs on the other end.

“Tyler, what the heck are you talking about?”

“I lost my virginity, Jenna!” he practically squeals into the phone.

“Tyler Robert Joseph! Weren’t you just at church? Oh my gosh, I’m hanging up, I’ll be right over. You gotta tell me in person. I wanna know everything!”

“No, no, no. Don’t hang up. I’ll just tell you over the phone.”

“Whyyyy?” Jenna asks suspiciously.

“Because you can’t hit me over the phone?” Tyler mumbles softly, his words sounding more like a question than a statement.

“Tyler Joseph, what did you do?” Jenna asks, her suspicion growing further.

“Well, I lost it at church, actually,” Tyler admits

“WHAT?!” Jenna exclaims, “TYLER! How? With who? What the frick?”

“Umm, we had a new altar server that was there serving community service. I had to train him and then after, the pastor left us alone to run some errands and we might have drank a bottle of communion wine. I was feeling kinda good — not drunk — but good, and I accidentally outed myself. Turns out he’s gay too, and one thing led to another.” Tyler ends the story there, hesitant to admit to Jenna who it was, knowing she would never approve.

“Drinking, Tyler? That’s not like you. I’ve never seen you drink anything more potent than a Redbull. You’re not even old enough!” Jenna scolds. “And with a felon nonetheless!”

“He’s not a felon, Jenna!” Tyler raises his voice, starting to get defensive. “It was just a misdemeanor for skateboarding, geez.”

“Why do I feel like there’s something else you’re not telling me?” Jenna pushes.

“Because there is! Because I know you won’t approve!” Tyler pauses, taking a deep breath, “It was Josh! I lost my virginity to Joshua Dun! There! You happy?

“Tylerrrr,” Jenna sighs softly, disapproval evident in her tone.

“And Yeah, I drank the wine to shut him up at first okay?” he admits, “but I’m glad I did. I’ve spent most of my life living according to how some six-thousand-year-old book tells me too. I can’t even begin to tell you how good it felt just to let loose and rebel a little and not worry about if I was being judged by some higher power. You know how much I’ve struggled with this, the two big parts of who I am: a Christian boy and a homosexual boy. They don’t exactly work together.

“Tyler, I know, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to come off like I’m judging you. I just want what’s best for you and I think we can both admit that that’s not Joshua Dun. I mean, in a way I’m glad that maybe you got this whole Josh obsession out of your system now, but let’s be honest.”

“Jenna, you weren’t there, ok? He was different. He taught me things about myself I didn’t even know. He was gentle and caring when I needed him to be, and then - uhhh-um- not so gentle when I wanted him to be too,” Tyler smirks to himself remembering the way Josh manhandled him. “And as far as having Josh out of my system; you couldn’t be more wrong. I want him more than ever now. He said he’s willing to help me figure out what else I’m into sexually, and I fully plan to take him up on that offer.”

“So, what, you think you guys are, like, dating now because you let him take your virginity?” Jenna scoffs, “That’s not how boys like Josh work, Tyler. You’re a piece of meat to him. Fresh meat, virgin meat, the best kind of meat. Of course he’s willing. What if tomorrow, in the halls, he treats you like the same way he always has? What if he outs you, Tyler? Did you even once stop and think of that possibility? I don’t wanna see you get hurt. If I’m wrong, I’ll eat my words and trust me, I hope that I’m wrong.” Jenna pauses, hoping to get some kind of response from Tyler, but he stays silent. Jenna can tell he’s angry with her.

“So I guess this means we can call off our pact of losing our virginities to each other if we didn’t lose them by graduation,” Jenna laughs dryly, trying to end the conversation lightheartedly.

Tyler didn’t hear a single thing Jenna said after ‘What if he outs you?” because no, he hadn’t thought of that possibility at all, and now it’s all he can think about.

****************************************************

“Hey Churchboy!” Tyler hears as he exits his dorm room Monday morning. It feels a lot like deja vu as Josh corners him and boxes him in again. ‘What if tomorrow, in the halls he treats you the same way he always has.’ Tyler’s stomach turns remembering Jenna’s words from last night, and he’s sure the feeling is showing on his face.

“Hey, relax, I’m just playing around this time. No more dickhead Josh, promise,” he says, lifting his hands briefly in the air like he’s surrendering. A wave of relief washes over Tyler. “Besides, I thought you liked your little nickname now,” Josh smirks, flirtatiously fingering the buttons of Tyler’s plaid shirt. Tyler tucks his bottom lip between his teeth, and wiggles his hips slightly, trying to keep Josh’s words from reaching his dick.

“Mmmm, thought so,” Josh notices. “Anyways— “Josh changes the tone before they get too carried away, “— Why don’t I walk with you to class. Where you headed?”

“Economics,” Tyler smiles.

Jenna’s wrong.

“Cool, I have statistics a few rooms down. Come on, I’ll walk you,” Josh says, stepping back from Tyler. “Ya know I had fun with you yesterday, even when we were just talking.”

“Me too,” Tyler purses his lips together after he speaks in an effort to hide the ridiculously enormous grin threatening to spread across his face as they walk.

Jenna’s so wrong.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go to the skatepark with me after classes today, and then maybe grab some food, as like, a date?” Josh questions. “Bren will be there too, he met some Sarah chick. So it will be like a double date.”

“You— y-you told Brendon!?” Tyler’s stomach drops, replaying Jenna’s words in his head ‘What if you outs you.’

“I’m sorry. Don’t be mad. He’s not gonna tell anyone. It’s just that he’s my best —”

“I’d love to go with you. I overreacted, I’m sorry,” Tyler apologies immediately, remembering that he also told his best friend. “It’s ok. It’s fine. I get it, the whole best friend thing — I told Jenna too.”

“Well, that explains it,” Josh laughs.

“What?” Tyler questions.

“The evil look she gave me when I ran into her in the cafeteria earlier,” he snickers. “I take it she doesn’t approve of me.

“Bingo.”

“Can’t say I blame her, but I’ll do everything in my power to prove her wrong,” Josh says, looking to Tyler while they walk. Tyler can’t suppress his smile any longer. It floods his face, reaching his eyes and lighting them up, and crinkling them in the corners.

“Can I ask you something?” Tyler says.

“Sure. What is it?”

“Are you nervous? Because that Sarah girl will be there too, and she’ll know it’s a date?”

“Yes and no,” Josh answers truthfully, “Part of me is really nervous, but part of me also feels really liberated that someone new is gonna know.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I know this is probably gonna sound crazy, but ever since yesterday I’ve just wanted to come out so badly.”

“Same.” Josh smiles, slipping his hand into Tyler’s.

“W-wh-what if someone says something?” Tyler asks.

“Fuck ‘em. I’m done hiding,” Josh says, gripping Tyler’s hand tightly.

“Me too,” Tyler says, his ridiculously bright smile illuminating his face again.

Moments later they pass Jenna in the halls. Her eyes go wide in shock at first, but then she winks, giving the boys a friendly smile.

“So does that mean she’s doesn’t wanna kick my ass for being a jerk to her best friend, and then taking his virginity, anymore?” Josh jokes.

“If I know Jenna the way I think I know Jenna, then it’s gonna take a lot more than that to convince her. But you’re off to a good start,” Tyler smiles.

“Actually, speaking of ass kickings, I never did get you back for kneeing me in the balls. What do you say we trade it for a spanking instead? Something tells me you might like that,” Josh teases.

“Yes, sir.”

Part 2

#twenty one pilots #twenty one pilots smuts #joshler #joshler smut #josh dun #josh dun smut #tyler joseph #tyler joseph smut #jenna joseph #brendon urie #twenty one pilots fan fiction #joshler fanfiction #fuck boy! Josh #churchboy! tyler #enemies to lovers #topfl february challenge

[ddaddsprompts]

Hey, how you doin? Hope you're having a nice day :) is there anyway you can make a prompt or imagine about the Dads enjoying a day with their kids and their new husband, Dadsona, and their awesome step-child, Amanda. It would be so adorable and awesome with your creative handwriting x)

My hands are hurting like a b**** but I had to write this! I’m back to filling prompts again, everyone, my term paper is finished!

🥃 You had never been to New YorkCity before, so to get a personal ‘behind the scenes’ tour by your boyfriend’sdaughter and her girlfriend was like a dream come true. After going to themust-see sights like the Empire State Building or the Central Park, Val startedshowing you her favourite spots: A sub shop which served the best sandwiches inall of the states, the Lalique Windows,the club where she had met her girlfriend, a secluded spot of a small park nearthe water with a perfect view of the skyline where they had first kissed. Toyou, the trip feels like a journey through Val’s adult life and memories, andjudging by Robert’s expression, he feels the same. He had invited you andAmanda along and you’re glad you said yes, or else you would never have learntof that Jazz Club nestled between a drag bar and a grocery store where Val hadwatched over the bouncer’s dog for half an hour before he came to retrieve it.You would never have met Val’s girlfriend and you would never have seen theinside of their apartment, which was cluttered with photos and souvenirs fromlittle shops around the city. You would have missed the way Robert and Valinteracted, shy and insecure at first increasingly familiar as time went by,mending old wounds and letting the scars fade away. And, most importantly, thepicture of the five of you – huddled around Amanda’s camera, your faces smushedtogether, but so happy, most of all Robert, whose eyes were shining so brightit lit up the whole photo – would never have been taken.  

 🍸 “Help.” You can’t see it, but you can feelJoseph’s gaze on you as he takes in the sight of you, a grown man, bested by ateenager, three children and a toddler. Crish’s butt is firmly planted on yournape, while Christian, Christie and Amanda are sitting on your back; the oldestChristiansen child, Chris, holds down your legs while playing Pokémon on the Gameboyyou had given him last Christmas. You try to lift your head, but Crish scootsbackwards to keep you still, saying “Nuh-uh”, so you give up even though thegrass is starting to tickle your nose. “Have you slayed the beast?” Joseph asksfrom somewhere to your left. You wouldn’t put it past him to purposely stay outof your line of vision. “It fought valiantly,” Amanda says, “but ultimately, itwas no match to five brave knights.”“Bweast!” Crish repeats and hits the back of your head with his hands. Yougrunt even though it doesn’t even hurt. Finally, Joseph’s shoes appear in frontof your face; the next moment, he is kneeling in front of you, his eyessparkling in amusement. “Well done, brave knights. Tales of your heroic deedwill be sung for all eternity. I think the beast has learnt its lesson.” Hepicked up Crish and nudged the twins until they got off your back and sat backdown on the picnic blanket. Once Amanda and Chris also move off you, you rollover. Joseph chuckles and offers you his hand to pull you back on your feet.You accept and immediately, he starts tickling you. “Help!”

☕ You let out an ‘oof’ as Carmensita jumps on your back and stumble afew steps forward, but thankfully, Mat grips your arm before you can fly downthe stairs. He releases your arm again after giving it a squeeze. “No, ‘manda,don’t even think about it.” Though she’s walking behind you, you canpractically see Amanda’s pout behind your mind’s eye. “But why?”“All due respect, but Carmen’s a tiny bit lighter than you.” Amanda appearsnext to you and indeed, she is wearing the matching pout that you just imagined,but the way her eyes are sparkling shows you she’s not really all that upset. No,she’s already running to the next exhibition of the umpteenth artist whose nameyou’ve never heard of before. Carmensita points at another picture and youcarry her over to it. An art museum wouldn’t have been your first choice for aweekend trip, but now that you’re here, you’re enjoying yourself. “I think it’sa bird,” Carmensita says. You tilt your head at the canvas. “To me it lookslike a cross between a house and a baby from Alien.” Next to you, Mat hums. “Maybeit’s not supposed to mean any—““MAT!” Mat spins around just in time to catch Amanda, who launched herself at hisback after a sprint. He stumbles, but thankfully doesn’t fall and adjusts hisgrip to hook his arms under Amanda’s legs. You laugh and fondly shake your head.With the way she’s grinning, one might think she just won the lottery, eventhough she only succeeded in being carried by Mat. He looks fairly unimpressed.“Onwards, steed!” Amanda shouts and nudges Mat with her leg.

🌹”Dad, can I buy that shirt?”“Ask your other father, ‘Manda.” She scowls at you, but walks over to whereDamien is standing together with Lucien, quietly discussing the quality of thefabric, as if a piece of clothing from Dead, Goth, & Beyond could hold acandle to clothes he had sewn himself at home. He looks up at Amanda when sheapproaches and smiles. It still takes your breath away to see just how happy heis about you and her being in his life now. “Dad wants me to ask you if I canbuy that shirt and I beg you, please do not tell me to ask my other father, Icannot be caught in this vicious, never-ending cycle.” Damien tuts. “Amandadear, why would I say anything like that?” Damien shakes his head and peers atthe shirt in Amanda’s hands. “However, I do believe in this situation it wouldbe best to ask Y/N whether you can—“ Amanda lets out a frustrated groan andgrips Lucien’s arm. “Lucien, save me. They’re going to do the thing. We cannotlet that happen.” Lucien looks at you, then back at Amanda. “Why don’t you justbuy it yourself? You have your own money.” Amanda scoffs. “Lucien,brother-dearest, I love you, but you have a lot to learn. Never pay with yourown money when you can make your parents do it.” Lucien rolls his eyes andallows her to drag him back towards the band shirts. You make eye contact with Damienacross the room and catch him wipe his eyes discretely. You tilt your head inquestion. “She thinks of me as her other father,” Damien sniffs.

🎣 Your second fishing trip goes much more smoothly than the first time –probably because you’re no longer trying to act like you know what the hell you’redoing and the competitiveness between the two of you has lost its desperate,aggressive edge. The first time, you weren’t together yet, so now, there are alot more kisses involved, much to Amanda’s and Daisy’s annoyance. You can seethem pull faces as Brian pulls you into yet another kiss and even though youcannot hear them since they are back on land, you can tell they’re makinggagging noises. You stick out your tongue, but either they’re ignoring you, orthey didn’t see you. Neither option appeals to you, so you turn to Brian andpout. “What’s that face for, Y/N?” He pulls you close and kisses the top ofyour head, wiping the pout straight off your face again. You don’t reply, butthe way you nuzzle into him is answer enough. Brian laughs and turns back tohis fishing rod. It takes some time – mostly due to the fact you two end upscaring the fish away more often than you caught it – but eventually, Brian hasyour dinner ready and you two return to the shore. While Brian gets a firegoing, you walk over to where Amanda and Daisy are playing fetch with Maxwell.You scoop Brian’s daughter into your arms and grin as she laughs and wriggles,trying to escape your tickling fingers.

👟 “The fries won’t kill you, Craig, you don’t have to stare at them likethat.” You flop down in the chair next to Craig and throw an arm over hisshoulders. He automatically leans against you with a heavy sigh. “Do you evenknow how much fat is in these things?”“I know, and I don’t care. We’re on vacation, bro, you really have to learn howto live and let go. Them having fries once every two months or so won’t makethem become unhealthy. You let them have pizza, too.” Craig huffed and lightlyshoved at your shoulder. “That’s totally different, Y/N. That’s after softballgames, as a reward and for celebrations. Right now, we’re not celebratinganything.” You shift River on your other knee and start bouncing her up anddown. The baby giggles and tries reaching for your nose, so you indulge her andlean down, even though you know what’s coming – she pulls and you yelp,exaggerating your pain. “I don’t know, bro, I think there’s something to celebrate.”Your gaze wanders over to the playground next to your table, where Amanda andthe twins are playing tag. Fighting against two physically superior girls withtwin telepathy puts Amanda at a large disadvantage, but she’s holding her own,screaming whenever they reach for her as if she’s running from zombies. “What’sthat?” Craig turns to look at you, grinning. Instead of replying, you leanforward to kiss him. The ‘triplets’ groan in protest.

📖 You’re surprised just how well Ernest andAmanda get along. Whereas Ernest had… well, saying disliked wouldn’t quitecapture the animosity you were presented with in the beginning, but either way,he had taken ages to warm up to you, but with Amanda, something had clickedright away. It was like all Ernest needed was a big sister who was just asmischievous as him. You watch the two at the lottery booth and try to decidewhether you should be proud of them successfully executing their scam fourtimes in a row or whether you should scold them, when Hugo returns from thecandy stall. “Are they still trying to win something? Don’t they know theprobability of winning that stuffed dog is below one percent?” Hugo lifts hisarm and immediately, you step closer and let him engulf you in his body heat.How he does it, when the temperature is close to freezing, you have no idea,but you wouldn’t question your luck. “Oh, they know.” Something about your toneof voice must have set Hugo’s teacher senses off, since he turns to lookintently at your face. You try, you really try, but your poker face had neverbeen the best. Hugo narrows his eyes. “They’re cheating.” You don’t even try todeny it, there’s no salvaging this situation. Hugo sighs again and looks aboutready to stomp over there and put an end to it, but, taking in Ernest’s excitedexpression, something in him melts. “I’ll let it slide this time,” he says andkisses your forehead.

#dream daddy #dream daddy a dad dating simulator #dream daddy: a dad dating simulator #ddadds #ddadds imagine #Anonymous

[my-healing-journey]

First Post

Hello, to any who may tread here. My name is Amy, and I have created this blog in order to write about my life. I am a single mother of two beautiful children. I’m a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, formerly known as the Mormon church or the LDS church. I am a Christian. I’m also a superhero geek, I know almost every Disney song ever sung, I enjoy writing, baking is a favorite pastime which I don’t often get to experience but adore anyway, and I genuinely love my life.

I am also a domestic violence survivor.

I was in a relationship with a man who abused me for nearly a decade (we will call him Jake). Jake and I were married for 8.5 years, and he is the father of my two children.

This blog is a place for me to write about my experiences. No subject is off-limits. I intend to be very open about what has happened in my life, from religion to love to marriage to children to sex to abuse, both emotional and physical. You are welcome to ask respectful questions if you’d like; I promise to reciprocate that respect. Disrespectful questions will likely be deleted. This is not a space for drama. I will write about my reality as I have experienced it, and I hope that by doing so, I can reach other people who are in abusive situations. I hope to raise awareness, and I want to try and inspire hope in others.

I am a storyteller, so many of my posts will likely be written in the form of a story or vignette. I will occasionally post old journal entries of mine, along with letters I have written and random notes I have made for myself. This blog will be a mash-up of posts from cheerful to angsty to maddening to uplifting. Again, no subject is off-limits.

There will be talk about religion, as my faith is ingrained into the fabric of my life. Spoiler alert: my church has historically failed me in tremendous ways. I am going to talk about that. I will try my best to do so with a respectful air, but be forewarned; this is my space to talk about my struggles, and religion is one of my largest ones.

I will talk about sex. I will not go into tremendous detail there - this will not be a porn blog - but the subject will come up, as this was an important factor in my toxic marriage. I am not afraid to discuss this topic; again, respectful questions are welcome.

I will talk about homosexuality. I am not gay myself, but I am a firm ally and I wear that title with joy. Many of my closest friends are part of the LGBTQ+ community, and I have nothing but respect for them. This is another subject which will come up in the future, and maybe often - my ex-husband is a gay man, after all.

I will talk about the therapy I have gone through. I will talk about the process of healing, of mourning, and the progress I have made.

I will talk about trauma. Some posts will be very dark. Some posts will be lighter. Some posts might be difficult to read. But it’s important to understand one thing about domestic violence - the aggressor is not aggressive every single day. The aggressor is not angry during every single moment of every single day. Some moments are beautiful. Some moments are nice. And it’s important to know this, because the aggressor uses those nice moments as proof that they aren’t doing anything wrong. They use those moments to show the victim that they’re a good person, that they care, that they love you. And, as the victim, it is so incredibly hard to see that that’s not what love is. That’s not what love does. That’s not how love behaves.

I will write about it all. The good, the bad, the ugly. I will write about it. Prepare for stories of gaslighting, emotional and physical abuse. Prepare for stories about extreme loneliness. Prepare to read these things from the point of view of the victim, because my stories will be written from my perspective.

This blog could be triggering for people. I recognize that, and I will do my best to remember to tag my posts with warnings. I will also try and insert “read more” links; I often use the tumblr app to post things, and haven’t figured out how to use that function via my phone (if that’s even an option).

Overall, I’m not looking for popularity or recognition. I am writing for myself, and if I can help bring hope or a sense of kinship to someone else while I’m at it... that would be wonderful. I know that I searched the internet a lot prior to my divorce, looking for a voice which was similar to mine. I craved advice from people who had had experiences like mine. I now hope to add my voice to the mix.

I look forward to posting on this blog. Welcome to my journey.

#first post

[ellrond]

Fave Thomas headcanons, pls.

sorry for the late reply!! this has been in my inbox for like a week but i wanted to give it the attention it deserves!! 

also i dont know if you’re asking for fandom headcanons that ive noticed or my own, but seeing as how i havent seen that many (none actually really spring to mind if im honest) this will just be an incomplete list of my own thomas headcanons unless otherwise stated

(disclaimer: of course it’s very difficult to have an original thought these days, and if you’ve seen these headcanons anywhere else, know i’m not trying to pass someone else’s idea off as my own, it just so happens that i have come to a certain conclusion that another person has, without me even seeing their posts. two people can have the same ideas without ever having any sort of interaction or seeing their posts alright alright glad we got that sorted)

fandom headcanons that r great and i fully endorse 

thomas is gay. he absolutely adores miranda and they share a sex life (whether that be through group sex, mutual masturbation, or straight up one on one sexual activity) but he is a homosexual man

thomas is a top. this one the fandom seems to be agreed on. bottom thomas?? i dont know her

he doesnt like wearing his wig much it is itchy 

my own headcanons

during elections he cast his votes for the Whigs rather than the Tories and should he have ever stood for office in the lower house would have done so as a Whig (the less right-wing of the two political parties during this period of British history) but believed party politics were dangerous and detrimental to the greater good of the country. He saw the dangers of the laizze-faire attitude the Whigs had and their sometimes aggressive anti-Catholicism disturbed him although sometimes the way he has been raised means he lets anti-Catholicism come into his line of thinking (as seen when things get heated with him and pops). That being said, he was, perhaps unsurprisingly, a royalist and had Tory tenancies (I think it’s safe to assume there was little love in Alfred Hamilton for liberalism, and I’m sure Thomas was raised a Tory) in that regard. Thomas was born very close to the time of the Glorious Revolution and with his family being an old aristocratic one, conservatism, in one form or another, would have been in his very bones.

tl;dr ^^ he’s a liberal who dislikes party politics and subscribes to ideologies from both sides of parliament 

he’s a genuine believer in God and in Christ. He knows his scripture (he must be quoting the bible more than hes saying his own original thoughts in the show probably gfgdgfd) and Christ is important to him. He bases his life around Christ’s teachings - that’s why he’s so kind and so concerned with forgiveness and redemption and hope. He rejects the violence and hatred found in other parts of the Bible and has a great love for the gospels instead and finds his strength in Christ’s words about love and kindness and charity and forgiveness. He believes that to be a good Christian one must above all else be kind. He also highly values the lesson of the Good Samaritan (surprise surprise said no one ever) and reminds himself daily to never judge someone else for the life choices and decisions. 

his mother was just as bad as his father. I’ve seen people suggest that thomas’ mother must have been an angel to balance out the devil of alfred for thomas to have turned out so good and im calling bullshit. someone with two mean-spirited and cruel parents can absolutely be wonderful people, and in thomas’ case i believe it was the distance of his parents and their disdain and judgement of the world and unkindness that made thomas quite the opposite. he saw the mistakes they were making and learned from them. 

we know he went to eton. he deffo started kissing boys at the age of 13 or 14. he’s been a heartbreaker since teenagehood. 

he’s around 30-35 when we see him in 1705 (less a headcanon and more a lazy estimation similar to ones hundreds of other people have made) 

he enjoys sex a lot. he’s had a number of sexual partners most of whom were of the same social standing as he and he’s been in love before he meets james. he’s never loved anyone like james though. he believes james is his soulmate

he is caught between thoroughly enjoying high society life with all of its frills - the fashion, the music, the art, the luxurious houses and exuberant interiors - and feeling guilty about being so rich whilst others have so little in comparison. he’s not perfect, and so he lets himself enjoy the glamour of aristocratic europe without trying to give it too much thought. 

it’s canon he’s a Big Thinker and was homies with other Big Thinkers (he probs fucked half of the enlightenment giants but thats for anotehr time) and I Think he’d spend a lot of time Thinking about Big Things you know like ??? would educating the masses be a good thing?? child labour, huh whats that all about is that worth it?? why are some people entitled to more simply because of who they were born as? and what even IS class? and other big questions politics and sociology and criminology and philosophy and economics and history students spend £9k a year thinking about lmao (tag urself im tragic politics student still cryin over the overlooked work engles did for yrs n yrs oh fred you was done so bad i lovE YOU) 

crazy horny boy have james wear a butt plug during dinners with alfred lmao oh tomhas you wild thing

#thomas hamilton #ellie writes #IVE GOTTEN SO TIRED SINCE I STARTED WRITING THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry #i love asks like this i love you #black sails ////// #sex cw /// #nswf cw ////// #Anonymous #ask

[clubsocial-india]

New on Sports Illustrated: COVID-19 Is Having an Impact on the Market for Veteran Contract Extensions

While Jamal Adams and Dak Prescott in the news, it's worth noting that uncertainty over the salary cap is clogging up the market. Plus, notes on Day 1 of the NFL's Quarterback Coaching Summit.

It’s Monday afternoon, let’s go …

• With Jamal Adams’s contract situation in the news, it’s certainly worth looking into how slow the pace of veteran extensions has been in general this offseason. Digging through it, I could find just three examples of guys getting big-time extensions with years left on their deals since America went into lockdown, without a trade being part of it (DeForest Buckner and Darius Slay got paid as part of trades). One was Panthers RB Christian McCaffrey, another was Texans OT Laremy Tunsil and a third was Bills S Jordan Poyer (whose deal was done before things went really crazy). Meanwhile, contract-year stars like Joey Bosa, Jalen Ramsey, Ronnie Stanley, Ryan Kelly, Alvin Kamara, Dalvin Cook, Chris Godwin, George Kittle, Keenan Allen, Patrick Peterson, Von Miller, and, yes, Adams are waiting for theirs. So the natural question: Is this COVID-related? And the answer is yes. The looming revenue shortfall doesn’t just make cash an issue for some teams, it also makes projecting the cap a problem. If there are big losses in 2020, that means the league and union will have to borrow from future years to keep the 2021 cap level to this year, which could mean ramifications reaching into 2022 and ’23. You may remember back in 2010 and early ’11, teams were hesitant do long-term deals for guys because of salary cap uncertainty. Same thing, to a degree, this year. Which might mean a lot of guys waiting a while for deals. And that could add an interesting twist to the seasons of some teams.

• And that brings us to Dak Prescott, and how the uncertainty over the cap might make it tough to project how a deal at $40 million per season will be accounted for in the coming years. Let’s say he does a deal with flat cap numbers. And let’s say, absent the pandemic, the cap was going to be around $270 million in 2023, which may be conservative based on the expected influx of TV and broadcast money. Under those conditions, Prescott’s deal, then in its fourth year, would account for 14.8% of Dallas’s cap. Now, let’s say, the coronavirus impact knocks the cap number in 2023 down to $220 million. In that case, Prescott’s deal is accounting for 18.2% of the team’s cap. That’s a pretty massive difference, when you consider this is one of 53 contracts. And it doesn’t mean the Joneses won’t get Prescott done. But it does explain why it could complicate things for him, and the other 13 guys who are currently franchised.

• Speaking of that, Prescott became the ninth franchised player (and 10th tagged player, if you count Cardinals transitioned RB Kenyan Drake) to sign his tender. That leaves five guys unsigned in the group: Bucs OLB Shaq Barrett, Bengals WR A.J. Green, Chiefs DT Chris Jones, Jaguars DE Yannick Ngaukoe and Broncos S Justin Simmons. All the tagged guys have until July 15 to do deals. So what’s the difference for these five? They can wait until Week 1 to sign, if they’d like, without losing a dime, because they’re not under contract.

• I really enjoyed Day 1 of the NFL Quarterback Coaching Summit (a joint venture by the Black College Football Hall of the Fame and the NFL), which I wrote about in last week’s GamePlan, so here are some good tidbits. Titans coach Mike Vrabel was the first speaker, and he dove into his philosophy on leadership (“We will treat you the same as you treat the team”), and how to interview (he passed out iPads on his interviews, rather the traditional “book” that coaches keep) before explaining keys in assembling a staff. I thought maybe the most interesting part was how he said having diversity of race and background on hand was important, to give a staff the best chance of reaching every individual player on the roster. Also, he mentioned how it was important to support the ambitions of assistants, and that losing them to promotion “means you’re hiring the right people,” and he listed the trainer with the GM and owner among the most important relationships a head coach has. There was also this, on the idea of culture: “When you’re winning, culture is easy. … Culture is what you look like at the worst moment. I hope everyone has a good culture at 7-1, but what does it look like at 2-5?”

• Also great was a panel hosted by my buddy Steve Wyche of NFL Network, one that included Steelers owner Art Rooney II, Giants owner John Mara, former Ravens GM Ozzie Newsome, Bucs coach Bruce Arians and Texans limited partner Javier Loya. Both owners acknowledged the trend toward offensive coaches, and it was interesting to hear Mara admit that he’d fallen victim to those sorts of things in the past. “A lot of us have fallen into that trap, looking at the Sean McVay, the Kyle Shanahan, and you think you’re just going to get the next one,” Mara said. “I look at the head coach now as more of a CEO. I don’t care if he’s an offensive play-caller or a defensive play-caller.” Rooney echoed the point, saying that looking at the Steelers’ stability, from Chuck Noll to Bill Cowher and now to Mike Tomlin, there has been a common thread. “The most important thing all three of them had in common, they’re all great communicators,” Rooney said. “If there was one thing we were always looking for in a head coach, it would be that.” Rooney also advocated for finding a way to slow down the process of coach hiring (it’s how he found Tomlin, even with legit candidates in house), though he added that he understood how competition for guys makes that idea difficult to implement.

• Arians, for his part, was passionate on the call. He said doing your job well, whatever that job might be at the moment, should come first, because that’s how you build respect among your peers. “Respect among your peers is the most important thing,” he continued. “I had respect among my peers, I didn’t give a damn if I got a job.” So what difference can that respect make? Arians recalled telling anyone who’d listen, on Vic Fangio, “If he’s not at the top of your list, you’re missing the boat.” Arians also pointed out how his very diverse staff is made up of a lot of guys he identified as potential coaches when he had them as players, which is something he hopes coaches get more aggressive doing. “These guys all played for me, so I had a long pool of guys I worked with,” Arians said. “You don’t hire strangers in my office, you hire guys I trust.”

• Another point of discussion was how narratives (i.e. hot candidates) can drive coaching searches. That’s where Newsome jumped in, explaining that the Ravens always keep lists of coaches of interest. “We create our own lists,” Newsome said. “We come to a collective agreement on the people we want to interview, and that’s based on the information we get when we talk to our area scouts, and our coaches and people around the league.” That, he mentioned, is how they found an Eagles special teams coach to be particularly intriguing. John Harbaugh’s been a pretty good hire.

• Sorry to sink the whole column into this—but it really was a pretty awesome deal, and there’s more coming Tuesday. Among the other parts of Monday’s festivities: Ex-Browns coach Hue Jackson with a detailed breakdown on the first 30 days on the job for a head coach; Saints assistant D.J. Williams on being a quality control coach; Stanford OC Tavita Pritchard on QB drill work; and Maryland OC Scottie Montgormery and Bucs OC Byron Leftwich on staff/coordinator dynamics. (I’ll try and get you some more info Tuesday on Twitter.)

• One thing from Falcons coach Dan Quinn, left over from this morning’s column, that I found particularly fascinating: He’s going to build all the possibilities he can think of for the fall of 2020 into his training camp schedule, and that means all of them. “What I do know is the teams that adjust the best are gonna be the ones that preform the best. Because what we’ve all seen is there’s been a lot of moving parts and things have changed, so there’s gonna be change during the season—players out due to COVID and all that,” Quinn said. “So during camp, when we do get together, we’ll have time where, and I’ll do it for myself first, OK, I’m out, or the playcaller’s out, where we keep showing them, here’s where adjustments have to take place, and we’re able to hit them, so we have contingency plans.” Pretty smart thinking there, and it’s not exactly hard to conjure a scenario where such a contingency plan might have to be enacted.

• The NFL re-opened its New York office on Monday. So if you want some good news on where all this is headed, there’s some for you. And, by the way, the Raiders opened their facility in Nevada, too, which means they’ve officially left California after spending their first 60 seasons in the nation’s most populous state.

• Question or comment? Email us.

June 23, 2020 at 05:12AM COVID-19 Is Having an Impact on the Market for Veteran Contract Extensions from Blogger https://ift.tt/2zUbLnC

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