#I hope you think it’s funny

[hailsatanacab]

Family Dinners - dpxdc

"Holy shit, you're Bruce Wayne!" Danny gaped, jabbing a finger at the man sitting at the head of the table.

The bustling dining room goes silent as everyone turns to look at him.

"Danny, who did you think was going to be here?" Tim asks, disbelief plain in his voice and Danny feels his face flush red.

"Sorry, I, uh, I guess I just never put it together. Tim Drake-Wayne. Wayne Manor. It, uh, makes sense now." He laughs sheepishly and scrubs at his neck before slumping back down into his chair.

"Well," Tim says with an indulgent sigh, "at least I know you're not just friends with me for my connections."

"Yeah, I'm really sorry, I just never thought about it, I guess."

Danny sinks lower as everyone around him laughs. Come to dinner, he said, the food is the best, he said, ignore the family, he said. Danny really wishes he'd listened to Tim and just ignored them—almost as much as he's regretting accepting the offer in the first place—but... he's having dinner with Batman.

Ancients, that's so weird!

The last time he saw Batman was in the future and, suffice it to say, it was not going well. There hadn't really been time for family dinners there.

Wait. Family dinners?

He peers around the table, openly gawking at everyone as it all clicks into place.

"Everything alright, Danny? Now realising who everyone else is?" Tim asks with a roll of his eyes.

"Uh... something like that..." Danny mumbles as everyone laughs again.

From further down the table, the smallest Wayne scoffs and clicks his tongue.

"I thought you said he was smart, Drake?"

"So, you all do it, too, then?" he asks, ignoring the jibe. Danny's only a little bit jealous as he thinks of how much easier they must have it, how much easier it'd be if his family had been on his side, too. "You all work together?"

"Nah," Dick says from across the table with a brilliant grin. "Tim's the only one that works with Bruce, we all have different jobs. I'm a police officer in Bludhaven."

"Disgusting." Danny blurts out without thinking—because seriously, what kind of self-respecting vigilante would also be a police officer?—before clapping a hand over his mouth. "Sorry."

The whole table laughs again, the loudest being the blonde girl a few spaces down from Dick. Look, Danny wasn't really paying attention to names when they were all paraded in front of him. Dick only gets remembered because his name is a joke.

Come on, Danny, recover!

"That's, uh, not what I meant, though."

"Oh?" Dick asks, cocking his head slightly to the side. Is it Danny's imagination or does his smile tense slightly?

"Yeah, I mean like, you know, in costume. It must make it so much easier to have everyone together like this."

"Costume? What do you mean?"

Yeah, Danny's not imagining it, everyone tenses up at that. It's really only now that he's realising that this probably isn't how he should bring up that he knows about their... night time activities. In fact, he probably shouldn't be bringing it up at all.

"Uuhhh..." Danny looks wildly around the table as he continues making his stupid noise. Think, think, think! There must be a way out of this!

"Danny?" Tim asks, looking concerned.

"Oh, Ancients, this isn't how I wanted it to go at all," he mutters, slipping even further into his chair. He's almost on the floor now and he so, so wishes it could just swallow him up.

His real first meeting with Batman was meant to be cool! He had planned to be Phantom, maybe save them from a tight spot, prove his worth as a mysterious and powerful ally as thanks for the help Batman gave him in the future.

"Danny, what are you talking about?" Tim starts tugging on his sleeve in an attempt to pull him back up from his pit of despair.

Eventually, Danny relents and sits up straighter, hiding his face in his hands and whining all the while.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't expect him to be here and it threw me off so now I look stupid and it's so embarrassing!" he wails, flailing his arms wide. "Why wouldn't you warn me that Batman was your adopted dad, Tim? Couldn't you have let me know?"

"I'm sorry, what? Danny are you alright? There's no way Bruce can be Batman, look at him!"

"Yeah," the blonde girl laughs from the bottom of the table, "look at him! That's a wet noodle of a man! Batman can actually do things, B is incapable of pretty much everything."

"Thank you, Stephanie," Bruce sighs, massaging his forehead.

It's... Those are the first words Danny's heard Batman say since everything went down and it's enough to knock him out of his embarrassment.

It's really good to hear his voice again. Especially now, when it's strong and healthy and full of personality—even if that personality is little more than a tired father right now—far better than how it had been, at the end.

Danny sits up, back straight, and grins. He's got this. He remembers it perfectly. Some people count sheep to fall asleep, Danny repeats his mantra to be certain that he'll never forget it.

"Gamma alpha upsilon tau iota mu epsilon, 42, 63, 28, 1 colon 65 dash 9."

Once again, the whole table falls into silence.

"Holy shit..." breathes the other D name (Duke? Danny's pretty sure he's Signal) from opposite Stephanie. "Isn't that...?"

"The time travelling code." The littlest Wayne says stiffly. "We have met in the future?"

"That's not just the time travelling code, Dami." Dick says, looking between Danny and Bruce. "That's the family time travelling code."

Danny's grin freezes in place.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"1 colon 65 dash 9." Dick explains, still flicking between him and Bruce. "It means you've been adopted into the family and we should all treat you as such, no questions asked."

"Tell you what, I'm about to ask a question." Danny says, dumbstruck. "You just told me it was a code to identify time travellers, not anything about being adopted! What the hell, B?"

Bruce looks about as shellshocked as Danny feels.

"We must have been close," he says finally, after opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water a few times.

"No! Not that close!" Danny reels back, taking a deep breath ready to refute it all, but... "Well, I mean, you found me when I first got stuck, and you helped me get better despite being... And then we fought together against the, uh, bad guy, before he, um, he... before you couldn't."

An uncomfortable beat passes while they all pick up on what Danny tried so hard not to say.

"So, you're not from the future, then, you travelled there and came back?" Tim asks, breaking the tension and leaning forward with a glint in his eye.

"Yeah, it was a whole end of the world thing, but don't worry about it," Danny says with a hand wave, "It's all kosher now, won't ever happen."

"What did happen?"

"Seriously, don't worry about it, we cool."

"How long in the future was it?"

"About ten years? You were pretty spry for an old man, B," Danny laughs, wishing they'd get off the topic of what happened and get back to the adoption bit.

Everyone shares degrees of a cautious smile as they relax out of the shock, and Dick—whose grin is the biggest—says, "No wonder you got the family code, you're already riffing on him like one of us. How long were you there for?"

"A week, before I managed to get back to my present and stop him then."

"A week? Jeez, B, that has to set some kind of record, seriously."

"Oh!" Danny says, sitting bolt upright and blinking in surprise before pointing at Dick and bouncing in his seat. "You're Nightwing!"

"What?"

"That's exactly what Nightwing said when Batman told me the code! Makes so much more sense now."

Dick laughs and claps his hands, delighted.

"You were not formally adopted?" The grumpy small one—Dami?—asks, his face pinched.

"I didn't even know I was informally adopted."

"And your parents? Are they alive or dead?"

"Damian, stop—"

"They were dead in the future, but they're alive now." Danny says, looking down. He fiddles with the tablecloth, twisting the fabric around his fingers as he fights down the pang of sadness that he always feels when he thinks of them now. He forces a bright smile on his face and hopes it doesn’t look too strained. "I just, uh, can't talk to them much, anymore."

"Damian," Dick warns, "1 colon 65 dash 9. Treat them as family, no questions asked."

"This is Damian treating him as family, the little turd has no manners." Tim scoffs, rolling his eyes, but he gently bumps shoulders with Danny to knock him out of his funk. Danny can't help but send him a watery smile.

"I have the most exemplary manners, Drake, unlike some people." Damian spits, crossing his arms with a pout. "I was merely ascertaining his status to see how he could possibly fit into the family."

"I know this is all a bit sudden, Danny," Bruce smiles, ignoring Damian and reaching out to lay a warm hand on his arm, "for all of us. But if I felt strongly enough to give you that code after spending a week with you in the future, then you are more than welcome in this family, if you so choose it. I think I can speak for all of us when I say we'd like to get to know you a bit more."

"I know a threat when I hear it, Bruce." Danny snorts. "But, yeah, I get it. I'm sorry this is all so weird, it really wasn't how I wanted to find you again, but... I'm glad I did."

"So are we, Danny." Dick says, with a warm smile. "And formally or not, 1 colon 65 dash 9 means you're family. Welcome to the fun house! No take backs or refunds, sorry. You're stuck with us."

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc crossover #batpham #hailsatanacrab🦀🦀writes #look. this has been in my mind for so long guys so long - and idk if its canon that the batfam have codes for time travel situations or what #but i feel like ive seen it before and if its not canon it should be #so here - how i think that would be funny to go down #i have so many thoughts about TUE and its place in a dpxdc crossover like holy shit there's so many ways it can go!! #i have another wip in the works thats kinda similar to this but with superman and i cannot wait to work on it again #there are so many ways i wanted this to go but i just couldnt get there - i wanted to keep it on the shorter side but like #perhaps ill have to expand #i just love the idea that like. theres a stranger at your table who knows you and knows you well. who knows the secret that youd die to keep #there's a stranger at your table and he says something and you know he's family. you know you're strangers but now... #now you have to be something more #oh man theres so many juicy ways it can go and I KNOW I DID NONE OF THEM #i want to write this whole plot again and make it angstier #(me with everything) #anyway! sorry love you all hope you enjoy it!!

[thegreatyin]

ffxiv as a whole is like a ghibli movie. not in the way people usually describe ghibli movies like they're just peaceful and cozy and light-hearted but like. in the way it's a post-apocalyptic world and an active apocalypse story on like a dozen different levels and it's also all about society rebuilding after the apocalypse never quite reclaiming what it used to be but making something new all the same. and also it's about how gay catboys are equivalent to nuclear missiles

#i love how everytime you think you've got the hang of the apocalypse that happened ffxiv's like actually there was this other one #there's like. 8 wholeass layers of complete world annihilation going down here. it's kinda funny #yin-thoughts #ffxiv #personally i hope in dawntrail they add 2 more against all odds just for like. the kicks

[introspectivememories]

it's always distinguished lesbian momo with disaster gay todoroki. we need to flip the script. disaster lesbian momo with distinguished gay todoroki. tddk are practically living together in shouto's japanese style dorm meanwhile momo flies in every morning, hair a mess, slamming that shoji door open, talkin bout "todoroki-kun! kyouka touched my knee this morning! do you think she likes me????"

#momo 2 seconds later: oh good morning midoriya-san. i hope i didnt disturb your sleep. anyway todoroki-kun pleaaase tell me what to do #i like this idea of prim and proper momo becoming a disaster over her gay little crush on jirou #tddk got their shit together 3 months into being friends. tdrk just confessed in that blunt way of his and now they're practically married #izuku's dorm room is his extra closet space for all might merch #they share a futon ffs #on the other hand momo's internal dialogue is just: hnnnng kyouka prettyyyy kyouka strong kyouka kissable #momo having debriefing sessions with tdrk every morning is so funny to me #izk thinks its ridiculous bc c'mon kyouka's crush on momo is visible from the moon #just tell her you like her yaoyorozu-san!! #yaoyorozu momo #jirou kyouka #todoroki shouto #midoriya izuku #tododeku #momojirou #tddk #bnha

[solarockk]

Gege make these two interact i dare you

+bonus

#jujutsu kaisen spoilers #jjk spoilers #jjk #maki zenin #mai zenin #nobara kugisaki #momo nishimiya #nobamaki #momomai #nobamai if you squit #i think they're funny #maki and momo are grieving and mai and nobara are just shit talking together in hell #i miss my girls #do i still have hopes of nobara coming back? maybe #never back down never what? #anyway yesterday i realized maki and momo should be friends and cried #bc maki of course looks so much like mai #and momo can be brash an outspoken just like nobara #its like they're trying to fill a void #you can pretend im not myself only if i can pretend you're not yourself type of shit #they make me mentally ill #im making this a thing #i dont care if its platonic or romantic i just know its sad #i wanted to call them momomaki but its already a ship in another fandom i think so #makimomo it is #makimomo

[mleemwyvern]

the real reason zed is getting involved in the upcoming war: the server only has space for one guy hiding in a hole and ignoring everything going on at a time, and tango took zeds usual spot

#hermitcraft #tangotek #zedaph #this is really funny to me for no reason #theyve swapped! now lets hope impulse joins grians side #because team zit do Not go on the same side of a war. they just dont do it #(also i just think impulse should join in general. i want to see him go feral) #(i want to see what he can do against doc. come on impulse you know you want to)

[egophiliac]

I love your take on Crowley!

I know that the early, non-Diasomnia stories aren't really your thing, but are you reading the novels at all?

I have been following some of the fan translations and the second book seems intense! Would love to hear what you think about them.

thank you! 💚💚💚 I'm not really sure why you think I don't like the earlier arcs though, I love pretty much all the characters and their storis! (I think 5 and 1 are my favorite of the past episodes, though 6 infected me with the Shroud brainrot something fierce.) I just...ESPECIALLY love diasomnia. :') but there is room in my heart for all of these dweebs! like, who among us is not just as ride-or-die for Adeuce as they are for us.

that said, I don't really follow the other adaptations like the manga (aside from a dip-in just to see the new Yuus) or the novels, though I keep meaning to check them out! I do like seeing the differences between the different forms of media, and how certain things get adapted one way or another! but alas, time/a lack of accessibility stands in our way more often than not. :( someday...someday I will have time to consume all of the media...

#art #twisted wonderland #i have been playing this game since the day it came out #and believe me i could not have stuck with it for the past three and a half years if i was not deep into all of these idiots #not to harp on it but i do think it's funny because i actually. really did not like the diasomnias at first. #it was like a month before their cards/personal stories were added and so we knew almost NOTHING about them #the website descriptions basically make everyone sound awful #so i thought they were kind of mean/boring compared to everyone else! #(except maybe lilia but i was mad at him for the two seconds of 'girl? 👀' hope i had when they were revealed) #but once their cards came out i fell just as hard for them as i did the rest of this silly game #well. sebek took a little longer. but his ketchup incident converted me. #anyway i have so much sentimentality for episode 1 especially #the prologue was like 'oh this is actually a very silly game! oh there is a plot!' #episode 1 was like 'oh i LIKE these characters and what they're doing with them' #(i think ace punching riddle was the moment i decided i REALLY liked this game) (sorry riddle) (you were being a huge dick though) #also...ink drips. ink drips everywhere. #look when i say this game is laser-focused at me and my tastes specifically i am not kidding

[ruthflemwad]

*to the tune of everybody by the backstreet boys* hatchetfield textposts back alright

#hatchetfield #starkid #npmd #nerdy prudes must die #nightmare time #miss holloway #ruth fleming #max jagerman #kyle clauger #jason jepson #ted spankoffski #stephanie lauter #linda monroe #grace chasity #peter spankoffski #i hope you all still think i am funny #solomon lauter

[habken]

kung fu panda x bnha crossover doodles

+ panda!deku cause I couldn’t decide what I wanted him to be

#mha #bnha #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #deku #bkdk #bakudeku #dkbk #kacchan #my hero academia #boku no hero acedamia #kung fu panda #kfp #I hope the tiger reads as bakugou haha when I posted him before I think a few people were confused? maybe shouldve coloured him differently #I had a lot of fun posing them and trying to draw a little bit in the kfp style !! and love drawing bears so much the best animal #didn't want to board the whole thing but the last image before the panda art I was imagining this whole fight scene #w/ deku v kacchan vibes but like... when we were kids we both wanted to be dragon warrior.. but only I had the potential for kung fu #'I wanna know what made master all might choose you' lmao I just think it would be super funny like dramatic and then also just.... kfp... #habs art #doodles

[paeonie-s]

my current read on yoshidas ch is that hes the equivalent of a high schooler being made manager of a mcdonald’s bc all of his adult coworkers quit which leads him to believe that the fate of the world now depends on his ability to keep the drive thru times below 90 seconds

#chainsaw man #csm #i doubt this is the reality bc of themes of everyone being irrelevant pawns in the horseman/primal fears grand plans but it would be v funny #if whoever’s in charge of public safety rn meets up w yoshida and is like wdym you didn’t convince denji to stop being csm 😐 u were out only #hope ig were fucked now 😔 while yoshidas moments away from setting the building on fire thinking abt his calc 1 exam tmmrw #sometimes the fate of the world depends upon ur fry person and sometimes it depends upon manipulating the host of a primordial being w lame #ass threats related to his similarly immoratal thru a cycle of reincarnation baby sister/former boss #.txt

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Call that a Cave Story.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wen chao #wang lingjiao #mianmian #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #I had to cut the comic with JC 'holding WWX back from fighting the Wen Assholes' but it is with me in spirit. #It reads (to me) a little bit like JC is scared of Core Melting Hand and wants to have an excuse to hold on to WWX for comfort. #As far as I can recall they are around 15-17 in this arc. #And a guy who can rip out your golden core? The thing we know JC truly puts so much weight upon that he feels meaningless without it? #Yeah that's pretty terrifying. I hope WWX hugs back (he will not) #I have a lot more thoughts on Wang Lingjiao and Mianmian but I will keep them for later. #WLJ is a character I feel got done a little dirty because she has a ton of interesting potential that gets pushed aside for Mean Villainess #Let's be fully honest. Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao are *THE* characters the Protag of one of those 'Reincarnated as the villain!' stories #Set up to be assholes to the main character and meeting a horrible end in retribution. #Do you think MXTX thought about that? How Wen Chao is basically the original Shen QiugQiu? #Who's going to be the brave soul who writes A transmigrator in wen chao's body (accidently makes wwx fall in love with him) story? #Though If we are going with “any mxtx character sho dies transmigrates to another book” WHO is the transmigrator? #Hear me out. I think it should be Original Liu Qingge. I think he and wwx would make a funny duo and I want to see it so bad. #AND the contrast of womanizer Wen Chao VS 'What is a woman' LQG.

[spearxwind]

✦ Tfw your killer AI gets himself stuck in fucking orbit, somehow still manages to be a nuisance ✦

I've had this idea in mind for a few years and finally drew it, but since I've missed doing actual comic pages and I really wanted to start messing with more creative paneling I thought I'd use it as an excuse to experiment instead of just doing a little strip like usual >:] so enjoy this shitpost in 4k ultra HD edition

#windyart #comic #the hollowridge disaster #knife #adriel #TEEHEE.... DOING LEGIT COMIC PAGES LETS GOOOOO #im actually so fucking proud of this my dudes like for fucking real !! hello!!!! i drew this with my own two hands!!! #and i didnt use my usual workflow I just made some shit up!! :D feels good!!!!! #if i ever did a legit HR comic it would probably look rly similar to this i think. i love the aesthetic very much #im probably gonna try and do my comique shitposts this way for a while bc i wanna practice paneling and such. its more of a time investment #but also its an investment nontheless!! #anyway i hope you enjoy this i hope you find it as funny as i do MWAH

[mrayeshen]

This is 100% canon idc

#halsin #bg3 #bg3 halsin #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #baldurs gate fanart #bg3 fanart #halsin bg3 #daddy halsin #bg3 memes #myart #larian studios #i drew this on stream i hope you guys also think it's funny

[robogart]

I've just had a bad memory my whole life lmao it's fine! Definitely Not A Symptom Of An Underlying Mental Illness And Childhood Coping Mechanisms 😎👍✨

#digital art #dumb comic time #just something that has been popping up in my therapy lately lmao #i love my therapist i hope she thinks i'm funny #me writing in my journal : i hope my therapist thinks i'm funny 💖 #my therapist : we should unpack this #only posting this to tumblr bc you babes understand me 😔🙏💖

[introspectivememories]

mister lewis hamilton, sir, how are you gonna go on live television and talk about about how your karting days were the best times of your career and still never say nico's name? not once but multiple times??? oh you mean the karting your did with your childhood best friend nico rosberg? that karting? the karting where you met him? the karting where your families became friends? the karting where you spent months in italy together? the pizza eating contests and torn up hotel rooms? the frosties? the unicycling? that karting???? "i'm over the divorce," says man who is soo not over the divorce.

#he's sooo not over it #say what you want about him but at least nico can talk about it #the lengths lewis goes to avoid nico's name is genuinely sooo funny #babe who are you fooling? you can't even say his name #you ran away during that interview in spain #he was still speaking!!! and you heard one conversation ender and bounced #lewis hamilton sir you are soo funny #can the both of you go to couples counseling so the rest of us don't have to take psychic damage every time you two interact? #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #brocedes #f1 #ok obligatory disclaimer for the anon: i do not think that lewis' fond memories of karting come solely from doing it with nico #i do think that he enjoyed it for reasons outside of being friends with nico (bonding with his dad/smth he enjoyed/etc) #but this is a brocedes post. i am going to make it about brocedes. hope this helps

[amanitacurses]

do you do silly stuff? silly raviolink or vidow? your art is all so pretty, it looks like eating it would feel like crunching thin sheets of glacial ice

I had actually finished this a few days ago, but wanted to focus on my own stuff, since there were a lot of vidow requests already, I went with RavioLink being silly and flirting!

Also thank you, I'm not often told what my art would taste like

#ravioli #raviolink #ravioxlink #ravio x link #legend of zelda #legend of zelda ravio #legend of zelda link #loz #loz ravio #loz link #a link between worlds #a link between worlds ravio #a link between worlds link #albw #albw ravio #albw link #not linked universe #lost woods au #amafushi au #I just think they're really funny and silly #I hope this fits with what you meant #ask

[whaliiwatching]

he also means it gay

#spider man: across the spider verse #spider punk #spider noir #hobie brown #noirpunk #dont smoke kids #do you understand. how much i love them #theyre so love each other............ #im inordinately proud of hobie's face here too #i think slash hope it looks pretty close to canon #peter tho.. im making him cute bc i want him to be #hes got curls hes got scars hes got bust what more could you want (hobie wants to kiss him) #if tumblr censors me bc i say bust i will perhaps do murder #i cant be funny on my own so ill just rely on memes i guess lol #cw smoking #forgot that oops