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foreverindreamlandd · 2 years

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Awake My Soul • 11

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

WC: 3.9k

Summary: It’s been 5 years since zombies first began their invasion, and despite everything you’ve been through, you’ve managed to survive up until this point. Now it’s time to face your most dangerous challenge yet….the grumpy, untrusting, fiercely protective Bucky Barnes.

Chapter Warnings: Canon level violence. Mentions of death, blood, injury, torture.

Series Masterlist / Series Playlist

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Bucky growled, throwing his cards on the ground and crossing his arms in a huff.

Steve chuckled, grabbing the pile in front of him and reshuffling the deck. “Face it, Buck. You’re shit at this game.”

“It’s fucking War, Stevie. There’s literally no strategy to it, just chance.”

The blond cocked his brow. “Then how come I keep kicking your ass?”

Bucky glared at him, a smile creeping up his face. “Alright then, if you’re so good, how about this? If I win this round, you finally have to ask Nat out on a date.”

Steve stopped shuffling, his shoulders rising and falling as he let out a deep breath.

“Buck, I’m not going to ask someone out based on a bet.”

“Then what the fuck is it going to take to get you to do it? You gotta tell me man so that I can be put out of my misery after watching you two pine over each other for years. Should I write her a note with those boxes to check off either yes, no, or maybe? Should I ask Lena to ask her out for you? Honestly this would be so much easier if we still had phones and could text each other-”

“Alright, alright, enough already,” Steve groaned as his friend resolved into a fit of laughter at his obvious annoyance. “I just…I don’t want to make things weird. Besides, she’s amazing. What would someone like her want with a Brooklyn schmuck like me?”

Bucky softened, leaning forward to lightly shove Steve’s arm. “Hey, don’t talk about my best friend like that. You’re the best guy there is, and anyone would be lucky to have you.”

Steve smiled, resuming his shuffling and dealing out cards for the both of them. “Alright, tomorrow, I promise I will seriously consider asking out Natasha.”

A beam lit up Bucky’s face and he clenched his hand into a fist in victory. “With that attitude,I bet you two will be married within the next decade.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Hopefully by that point, you’ll have found someone for yourself, bud.”

Bucky sighed, shaking his head as he collected his cards. “Nah, I don’t think so. I feel like I’m gonna be a lone wolf kinda guy. Makes things easier, you know?”

Steve shrugged. “Might be easier, but I think you’d be seriously missing out on a chance at something amazing. I can’t think of anyone else who deserves to be happy more than you, Buck.”

“Alright, Romeo,” Bucky said, chuckling, “where is this hopeless romantic side of you when it comes to allowing love into your life-”

The overhead lighting in the bell tower flashed off suddenly, the bulb shifting from a faint yellow to a bright, unforgiving red.

Steve and Bucky looked at each other, dropping their cards on the ground.

Bucky grabbed his binoculars, scanning the perimeter of the church. “I don’t see anything,” he murmured. “I’ll go down and do a sweep.”

Steve nodded, tossing him a flashlight. “You know the drill. Twice, false alarm. Three-”

“Three times, shit’s going down,” Bucky finished, saluting his friend and leader before grabbing his gear and climbing down the ladder.

“I’ll keep watch up here,” Steve added. “Be careful.”

“Always am!”

“You never are, Buck.”

“Sorry, can’t hear you!”

Bucky pulled out his machete as soon as he got to the bottom, cautiously making his way down the sanctuary of the church. It had to have been around 3am, so the rest of the camp was sleeping in their quarters in the dorms previously used by the nuns who worked here when this used to be a functioning religious establishment.

He heard steps coming from behind him and whipped around, ready to swipe his blade at his attacker.

His body relaxed instantly at the sight of his friend, a smile spread across his face in relief. “Ward, what the fuck are you doing up so late-”

His question was cut off as Ward walked up and landed a right hook across his jaw, body falling over until his head connected with the corner of one of the pews.

That’s when everything faded to black.

Bucky woke a few minutes later as a bright light burned through his closed eyelids. He slowly opened them, the sanctuary spinning for a few seconds, a sharp pain in his head.

It only took a few seconds for him to make out the image before him, and he jumped into action.

The church was on fire.

He looked around, finding the place empty, then ran toward the main doors.

Coulson was laying on the steps of the church entrance, a bullet in between his eyes.

When he looked up, he saw Laura being dragged away by two men in all black, and he sprinted toward them.

One of the men let go of her and pulled out his gun, taking a shot at Bucky, but he missed.

Which allowed Bucky enough time to take the man down with one swing.

Laura - now able to use the right side of her body - grabbed a dagger and plunged it into her other attacker’s neck.

Bucky grabbed her by the arm. “Are you okay?” She nodded. “Where are the others?”

She let out a sob. “Maria, Tony, and Nick are down. Steve ran to the dorms to grab the others. I saw Pepper and Morgan head to the woods.”

“Laur!” Clint ran up to the both of them, face nearly crumbling with relief as he wrapped his wife in his arms. He turned to Bucky. “It’s a shitshow. I don’t know where these guys came from-”

“It was Ward,” Bucky growled. “He led them here.”

Clint’s eyes widened. “I’ll fucking kill him.”

Bucky shook his head. “Not today. The two of you, go find Pepper and Morgan. I’ll send anyone else toward you. If things go bad, just run. Get to the nearest pharmacy.”

Laura gave him a quick hug and the two of them sprinted toward the woods, and Bucky turned his focus back on the dorms.

He could see through the windows that most of the building was up in flames, and the closer he got the more his face burned.

But he couldn’t stop. He had to make sure everyone was safe. He had to find Steve.

Just as he began his ascent up the stairs into the building, Sarah emerged, holding a bloody, unconscious Carol at her side.

Tears streamed down her face. “Bucky,” Sarah cried out, “help me.”

He took hold of Carol's other side, helping to carry her down the stairs.

Sarah jumped up, eyes on the burning building. “My boys,” she sobbed. “They’re still in there. Steve-”

“I got it,” Bucky yelled, already running in. “Get to the woods! Find the others! We’ll get AJ and Cass!”

Tears burned in his eyes from the heat, and Bucky hovered his arm over his face to block it off best he could.

He just had to get to the boys. To Steve.

Little did he know that he was just about to lose any lingering sense of hope that he might have still possessed in a matter of minutes.

“Bucky?” you said softly after a minute of him staring blankly at you. “Are you okay?”

He blinked. “What…what did you just say?”

You swallowed, thumb stroking his cheekbone.

“Steve. I think he’s alive. He was…Hydra has him.”

Bucky shook his head. “That’s impossible-”

“Blond hair? Blue eyes?” Bucky’s own blue eyes widened. “He was taken in four months before I left, meaning it was right around the time you guys said you were attacked. I hardly ever saw him, and they never called him by his first name, I only knew him as Rogers.” You breathed out another small sob. “If I had known, I would have-”

Lips crashed against yours in a needy, feverish kiss.

When Bucky pulled back, his eyes were alight, a small smile creeping on his face.

Your brow furrowed. “You’re not…you’re not mad?”

He shook his head, expression unchanging.

“Steve’s alive,” he stated.

You nodded, a hopeful smile growing on your own face. “Steve’s alive.”

And then you were moving, his metal hand tightly gripping yours as he dragged you out of the building.

Within minutes, you were with Sam in the meeting room, relaying your story to the camp’s new leader. A restless Bucky stood by your side, trying to keep still as his body jittered with nervous and excited energy.

“We have to go,” he blurted out once you were finished. “Now. I’ll let the others know and we can head out by nightfall.”

Sam’s mouth pressed into a thin line, hands tightening around the edge of the desk he was sitting against.

“Bucky,” he said slowly, sternly, “you know it’s not that simple.”

Bucky scoffed. “We can’t just sit here and wait for him to fucking find us, Sam. We have to get him!”

“I’m not saying we sit back and do nothing. Obviously I want to go out and get him just as badly as you do-”

“Then what the hell are we still doing standing here-”

“-but, this is a big thing we’re going up against. We have to come up with a plan. This is a powerhouse you’re suggesting our team - which is much smaller than it was when we first fought them - try and fight on their turf. Yes I want Steve back, but the last thing he’d want would be for us to put our family at risk because we weren’t prepared. Bruce tells me he’s almost done with the blaster weapons, we could start strategizing and Y/n can give us intel on their base.”

You could see your partner shaking his head from the corner of your eye and you turned to look at him, his jaw clenched in frustration. Your arm wrapped around his in comfort.

“Hydra is at least a week away, and that’s if we’re lucky and find horses to ride. Otherwise it’s a month on foot. He could be dead by the time we get there.”

Sam let out a long sigh. “He might already be dead, Buck.”

His body stilled against you. “Do you even fucking care Sam? What the hell is this?” His voice grew louder, angrier.

“Bucky-” you whispered.

“Of course I fucking care!” Sam shouted, standing straight. “And hell, if it were just me I had to worry about I would have left five fucking minutes ago! But it’s not, and I need to look out for what’s left of our pack. I have to make sure Morgan, Cass, and AJ have parents that will return to them! I have to make sure that we can even make it to the Hydra alive so that Steve doesn’t rot in there because we had no idea what we were doing.”

“But-”

“Drop it Bucky,” Sam said with finality. “We’ll meet about this tonight after dinner to discuss next steps.” His face softened. “As soon as we’re ready, we’ll leave. I promise you that. We’re gonna get him back, but we have to ensure that everyone else gets to come back, too.”

Bucky opened his mouth, ready to say something, then shut it, and you wondered if he was going to have any teeth left from how tightly he was clenching them together.

Without a word, he gently released himself from your hold and stormed off, punching a hole in the wall with his vibranium arm.

You flinched, tears welling in your eye from how upset he was.

Maybe you shouldn’t have told him…

“It’s good that you did,” Sam responded to the thought you had apparently said out loud. You turned to him and he gave you an understanding smile. “He deserves to know, and though he’s mad, this is great news.” He sighed, expression now painted with guilt. “I hope….I don’t want you to think that I don’t want to save Steve as soon as possible-”

The hitch in his voice pulled your feet toward him until your arms were wrapping him in a tight hug.

“I know,” you whispered as he returned the embrace. You pulled away. “You’re our leader for a reason, Sam. We trust you, and that includes Bucky. What was it you all kept telling me when I first got here and I thought he hated my guts?”

Sam breathed out a small laugh. “Just give it time.”

You nodded. “Just give it time. He’ll cool off.

He squeezed your arm. “I’m so fucking glad you’re here.”

Another nod. “Me, too. Now, let’s go talk to the others and finally get Steve back.”

Bucky kept to himself for the rest of the night.

Right after you left the meeting room, you went to his, only to find the door closed.

You knocked.

Silence.

You attempted to turn the handle.

Locked.

You tried to ignore the ache in your chest, trying to tell yourself that he needed time. He’d come to you when he was ready.

So with a heavy heart, you stepped away and began telling the group to meet with you and Sam after dinner.

It took a few minutes for the shock to wear off once the two of you laid everything out, but as soon as it did, everyone got to work forming a plan.

Bruce and Peter were finishing final prototypes for the new blasters, and if they passed their tests they could start producing more for at least a few members to hold onto.

Laura and Clint would go out and start collecting horses and board them at a nearby farm to shave off travel time.

Dum Dum would start meal prepping so that the gang had enough food supplies for the journey there and back. Him, Pepper, and Bruce would stay back with the kids.

Yelena and Kate would get to training everyone full time, individually and in groups.

You’d be working with Sam - and hopefully Bucky - to give them details on the Hydra base so that you could plan your attack.

In two weeks, you would be on your way.

Two weeks before you’d be heading back to your prison.

That was the thought constantly nagging you in the back of your brain. Don’t go back. Don’t go back.

You could have stayed behind as the others left. Sam continuously reminded you of that. It was your choice to go or stay. The ramifications of you returning to Hydra were much more dangerous than anyone else.

If there was even a chance that this plan could fail and they could capture you once more, you’d be right back where you were, and they’d be one step closer to finding out how to develop a cure to gain even more power.

It would be very very very bad.

But this was Steve. Shield’s family. Bucky’s family. And that made him yours.

And if there was anything you could do to keep your family safe, you would.

Even if the nagging thought persisted.

Don’t go back.

Don’t. Go. Back.

Bucky stood outside your bedroom door, hand hovering over the handle, fingers twitching as he debated his next moves.

You were most likely asleep, getting some rest in before the two of you were supposed to be on watch.

He just wanted to see you.

One last time.

Before he did something really stupid.

Bucky took a deep breath, closing his eyes as they began to sting with tears, hand going back to his side.

It was too risky.

Too selfish.

It was also unnecessary, because he saw you everytime he closed his eyelids. Could recreate every single detail of what you looked like because it was permanently seared inside his brain.

He took a step back, finding it painfully difficult to walk further away from you.

But this was how it needed to be.

He needed to go save Steve.

If he waited any longer, he could be dead by the time he got there.

He needed to go.

His metal hand tightened around the strap of his bag and he descended down the stairs.

All that was left to do was run to the arsenal room to go grab the bag of food and extra weapons he had packed during the group’s meeting, and then he’d be on his way.

Bucky stopped short when he reached the back corner of the room where the bag was supposed to be hidden, but instead he was face to face with an empty spot.

“Looking for something, Beefcake?”

He stilled, body tensing before slowly turning around to find you leaning against the door frame, his extra bag around your shoulder, arms crossed as you looked at him like he had just got caught looking through his Ma’s wallet.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, though he knew it was a stupid question.

Your eyes went to the ground and you stood straight. “Welp, I had been looking around for a brooding, ridiculously attractive man who I felt needed a hug or something. When I checked in here a few hours ago to try and find him, I noticed a few weapons were missing…” Your brows rose as you gave him a knowing look. “That’s when I found the bag. Wasn’t too hard to put two and two together.”

Bucky’s head hung low. “I wanted to tell you,” he mumbled. “I just-”

“We can talk about it on the road,” you said casually, and his head shot back up to look at you, eyes wide. You leaned down to grab something behind the wall, holding it up for him to see.

It was the blaster Bruce and Peter had been working on.

Realization sank in and Bucky began shaking his head fervently. “No. Absolutely not. You’re staying here.”

Your lips twisted to one side. “Sorry, Beefcake, but no can do. I gotta make sure your ass makes it out alive.”

He walked over to you, jaw clenching. “You know it’s too dangerous for you to go back there.” It made him sick to think of the things Hydra could do to you if they caught you again. He had half a mind to blow the entire operation up while he was there.

You nodded. “I also know that there’s almost no chance that you’re going to be able to stay here for two more weeks to wait for the rest of the group to prepare.”

Bucky opened his mouth, then closed it, shaking his head in agreement.

“I gotta get him.”

Your hand reached up to rest against his face. “Then let me help you.”

“No.”

“Bucky,” you pleaded, any trace of humor or sarcasm in your tone gone. “Please. If you go there by yourself, Hydra will have you in a cell before you can even get through their first border patrol. I know the place, I’ve escaped it. I can keep you safe and we can finally save Steve. Together.”

There was a tremor in your voice as you said the last sentence and concern rushed through Bucky. He held your face between his hands. “Hey, hey,” he soothed. “What’s up? What am I missing?”

You leaned your head into his hand, eyes closing for a moment as you gathered your thoughts.

With a sigh, you opened your eyes to meet Bucky’s.

“Steve…Steve was the one who helped me escape.”

He furrowed his brows in confusion.

You continued. “That day, there was an uprising in the prison. Someone had managed to unlock all of the doors to let people escape. It was chaos. I was still strapped to one of the chairs for testing when the guards ran out to investigate, but they had left their….tools close enough for me to grab. I cut myself free and ran.”

Bucky continued staring at you, his body growing tense at the idea of you being tied down for them to do their bidding.

“I was running down one of the hallways when two of the guards managed to grab hold of me. I started screaming for help, trying my best to fight back. Suddenly, I was free, and I looked down to find them both on the ground. When I turned around, there he was. Rogers - as I knew him then - his face covered in dirt, fists clenched. He asked if my name was Y/n and when I said yes he just grabbed my hand and led me down various hallways until we were in the basement.”

His chest swelled. Only Steve could have managed to save the woman who now owned Bucky’s heart without even realizing.

“Eventually, we were at a large tunnel, one that Steve said would get me outside. I tried asking him questions, but he cut me off, saying I needed to go.” Your voice began to tremble as you continued. “He…he must have known about my blood and knew I needed to get as far away from Hydra as possible. He saved my life that day, and I just left him behind-”

“Hey,” Bucky leaned forward to wrap you in a tight embrace, cradling your head against his chest. “Steve knew what he was doing. He needed to get you out and keep you safe.”

“But that means that your best friend is still there being tortured. He deserves to be here, not me.”

Bucky felt his heart break in slow motion as he pulled back to meet your eyes, his own stinging with tears.

“Listen to me, Sweetheart. Never feel like you don’t deserve to be here. As much as I fucking miss Steve and wish that he was safe, if he hadn’t gotten you out then I wouldn’t have you in my life. And now we have a chance to save him..”

You blinked a few times, the right corner of your lips quirking up ever so slightly.

“So you agree, then? We should both go save him?”

Shock crossed over his face, followed quickly by the scowl that was uniquely yours.

You never ceased to amaze him.

Before he had a chance to argue, you continued on. “I swear to you that if there is even a chance that I’m in danger of….being taken again,” you closed your eyes for a moment before looking back at the storm of blue in Bucky’s eyes, “I’ll get the hell out of there. But just know that I’m dragging you out with me. And then you have to swear to me that if this doesn’t work that we will regroup with the rest of camp and follow the larger plan.”

Bucky stared at you, rushing through a million scenarios in his head of what could go wrong.

Or what could go right.

No matter the scenario, though, he realized he couldn’t imagine one without you by his side.

So, with one last exacerbated sigh, Bucky nodded.

Before you had a chance to give him a smug grin that was so uniquely his, he pulled you close and crashed his lips to yours in a desperate, hungry kiss. He tried to pour every ounce of comfort, need - and something else he wasn’t quite yet ready to admit to you out loud - into it. Everything he wanted to say in this brief moment, he said in this kiss.

Your eyes were still closed when he pulled his head back, mouth open slightly.

When you finally opened your eyes and closed your mouth, your expression shifted into that smug grin he had memorized long ago.

“Alright, Beefcake. Let’s go save Steve.”

Chapter 12

#bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #zombie au #zombie apocalypse au #awake my soul #ams

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cruelsummerhrry · 1 year

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A/n: pls read the I KNOW PLACES masterlist!!! Hope everyone like it 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Harry finds a new favorite artist and y/n is worried.

★★★

Harry is a hopeless romantic.

He loves romance novels, romcoms, and valentines day. He falls hard.

So after meeting y/n he has fallen down a rabbit hole and has not stopped listening to love songs. He is creating fake scenarios in his head about them being together and making an entirely new playlist of songs that remind him of her. He's discovered a new artist while making said playlist, who happens to have the same first name as her. Y/n y/l/n. He particularly loves her song "Feels Like" gets him in this hyped mood.

Every day, he goes and opens up the bookshop and waits for y/n to show up. She comes in with a book and a notebook, and she reads and writes in the notebook. He doesn't know what she is writing but he is sure it's wonderful. They talk to each other like they were childhood friends. He feels comfortable and happy.

He so desperately wanting to go on a date with her.

Harry just wants to know what is going on in y/ns mind. Does she like him? Is he just a friend? He is so confused.

★★★

"Hey Harry!" Y/N walks. She hears some light music in the background, it's sounds painfully familiar she just can't put her finger on it.

"Y/n! Have you eaten anything yet cause I have some croissants I'm toasting up rn?" She nods 'no', "good. Wanted to have tea with you." His face is flushed at the omission.

"What song is this?" Still not being able to recognize this song since the volume is so low.

"It's by this artist y/n y/l/n," her face drops, "she is literally amazing. Also I think it is so cool she has the same first name as you." He looks at y/n and senses she's a bit panicked. "What's wrong, you look like you saw a ghost?"

She gets the feeling she needs to tell him the truth. Y/n knows she can trust Harry.

"Harry, can I tell you something?"

"Anything." Now he's the worried one.

Y/n looks up her own name for the first time in months. She laughs a bit seeing the first search be 'Y/n Y/l/n dead?'. She opens up a picture and is faced with her old life.

"Harry?" He whispers a small 'yes?' "Do you know what Y/n Y/l/n looks like?"

"No." He hasn't been this nervous around Y/n since he met her a few weeks ago.

She shows him the picture.

"Holy. Fuckinv. Shit." He scrunched up his nose and rubbed his nose. "That's either you or a secret twin."

"That's me." She refuses to meet his eyes. "There is a long story about how this happened, but I don't want to talk about it. All I want to say right now is that I made music, it got out, and people like it." She takes a deep breath. "You can ask questions but I can't promise I'll answer them."

"Well..." Harry rubs his neck. "Why did you move here?"

"I was overwhelmed. I couldn't handle it. Too soft for all of it." She finally looks at him.

"I want to ask more, but I need to process this."

"That's all okay. I understand how all of this is too much."

Under his breath, so quiet he thinks she can't hear. "You're just perfect."

A/n: THANK YOU FOR READING!!!! PLS REBLOG LIKE AND COMMET!!!!! SEND IN TEQUEST ESPECIALLY FOR THIS TROPE!!! AND IM STARTING A TAGLIST JUST SUBMIT AN ASK TO JOIN.

#harry edward styles #harry #harry styles angst #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #eroda #harry x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry x y/n #harrys house #fine line #famous y/n #famous y/n x harry

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bellswlw · 11 months

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˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ all the lights (in new york city aren’t as bright as her) pt 1 ⇨ e. williams au

ellie williams x fem!love interest

wc: 9.2k

playlist | masterlist

summary: ellie is known for being non-committed, having a scruffy laugh, her favorite coffee shop, and a reputation when it came to her tattooing abilities and her passion for it. she wasn’t known for love. and she certainly wasn’t the first person you’d think of when it came to finding someone that put all of those things above all else. even herself. but… she was just that.

cw: these are overall themes for the series as a whole. grief, depression, angst, alcoholism, small age gap, -underage- drinking (wine) and drug use (weed), neighbor!ellie, complicated family dynamics, tattoo artist!ellie, written in third POV and love interest is given a name.

a/n: this is for all the hopeless romantics and loser lesbians. the big city lovers and small town fanatics, the ones who look at the midnight sky, the ones who can’t sleep, and the ones who don’t talk about the things that hurt. i see you, and the moon and the butterflies love you.<3

Ellie had never been big on romance; movies, TV shows, and especially dating. She never saw the need for it, and she never really saw the appeal.

She could never picture herself meeting someone just by chance, or some unconventional and hyper-specific reason just for them to end up being the love of her life for a few months and end with an inevitable heartbreak… yeah, no. That wasn’t worth it to her.

Although her friends seemed to have found people in the big apple, Ellie was still the same as she was. Herself.

And that meant being by herself. If not working or hooking up in someone’s apartment or loft or even up in the bathroom of some party, she’s preferably at home lounging about or drawing up sketches on her iPad.

She got around, yes, but she wasn’t a dick about it. She didn’t count on her fingers or keep a list of names somewhere. She just grew an understanding for when someone was giving her flirty eyes from across the room… and had looked up into the same ones that were rolling back while her tongue was grazing that sweet spot of a girl she didn’t even know the same of.

Or in an empty apartment with a roommate ‘out of town’, holding onto the hips of another girl, grinding her against Ellie’s jean-covered thigh.

These encounters were simple. Do-able. Relaxed. Ellie liked that, she’d admit it. Shit, she has.

“So… when can I meet her?” Dina beams from across the table, leaning forward to grab her glass and hold it in her hand, waiting to take a sip until she replies.

Ellie took a swig of her coffee and glared at Dina. “No— Dina, no. You do this every time. You get more attached than I do, and then you bitch at me when I tell you… you can’t meet her. ‘Cuz I’m not seeing her anymore… by the way.”

Her glass meets the table with a low thud, turning the heads of a few other people who were sitting in the outside section of the coffee shop along side the two of them. “What? Why.” the way she said it had an insult attached. Almost to say, are you fucking nuts?

“B’cus. She’s… because I said so. And she wants more than I can give her anyway so…” and she leans forward to lift her cup off the table again just as she feels Dina’s glare marinate in the corner of her eyes, making her flare up with a silent embarrassment.

“I’m not doing this with you. Stop asking to meet my one night stands. ‘Kay?” and Ellie takes a sip of her coffee, the dark rich flavor burning into her tongue like a hot knife.

Dina leans back in her chair, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly. “I just think it’s weird. They all like you. Why can’t you just try?” and she sounded a little more genuine this time, her brows knitted together as she tried to find the soft spot in Ellie’s eyes.

But of course it wasn’t there. Of course it wasn’t. They’d been hard for years, a rock coating over the emerald green like there had never been an ounce of fondness at all.

“Why try ‘n fix somethin’ if it’s not broken?” And she let the smirk find its way into the divots of her face and soon started relaxing in her chair, fanning her legs like Dina’s words hadn’t nipped a part of her that she wish they didn’t.

“Whatever.” Dina sighed as she rolled her eyes before her phone lit up with a notification, from Alex.

You guys still out?

“It’s Alex.” she says, lifting her phone from its place on the metal table top.

“Figures. Can’t go two seconds without him on your ass.”

That deserved the scoff she gave you. Ellie was being a dick. Her feelings were hurt. But of course, she’d never admit that.

“He wants to know if we’re still out.” she says into her phone, her fingers flying across the keyboard in response.

Yeah, what’s up? We’re at 787.

“Tell him we’re shopping or… I dunno, fucking.” and she laughed, amused with herself of course. She took another sip of her coffee before saying, “Bet he’d get a kick outta that.”

“Dick.” she murmured, and didn’t even look up from her phone.

Ellie just chuckled to herself. She knew it embarrassed Dina, becoming friends with the girl she had a crush on for months and after hooking up at a party… decided she liked her better as a friend. And Ellie liked Dina, and the mouth she had on her.

Muttering under her breath a thousand little “fuck”s while she helped Ellie move her couch up four flights of stairs… or after the job interview she had been stressing over for weeks and had cussed herself home six long blocks… or the time she had gotten so drunk that she accidentally slammed her hand in the door and was screaming strings of curse words while Ellie made her run it under cold water for what felt like 2 hours.

And the whole time… “Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuckfuckfuckfuck…”

Just wondering. You wanna come by later tho? Maybe we can talk??

“He said he wants to talk, again. Look.”

Dina is handing her phone over to Ellie as she reads the message, her face forming an unforgiving sneer.

“Tell him to fuck off.” Ellie glances up at her before her brows fly upward with inspiration. “No, actually— I’ll do it.” and her fingers begin to type the message out moments before Dina stands from the her chair to snatch her phone back from her.

“You’re pissing me off,” she admits, typing a reply while reading it back to Ellie.

Can’t. We’re shopping. Soon tho, promise;)

“Winky face?” she said, the look on her face a punch to the gut to Dina’s continuing embarrassment.

“Hey… don’t judge. You should be lucky we’re not actually going shopping.” Dina said with a finger pointing towards Ellie’s chest.

“Awe, we’re not? I thought you were gonna buy me that pink little thong? With the lace?”

“You’re delusional.”

“I’m funny.”

“How about… crazy.”

“Witty?”

“Try on my last fucking nerve.”

Dina pushed herself up off the chair across from her, grabbing her things and expecting Ellie to follow suit… but she stayed put.

“C’mon.” she said and jerked her head back just enough to motion for Ellie to stand up along side her.

“I’m good here.” she said casually, resting her arms on the chair, even leaning on the back two legs with a smirk plastered on her face.

God, did she love to fuck with her. It was so easy.

“You’re infuriating, y’know that?” Dina stood there for a moment longer, betting how long she was willing to keep this up before she scoffed and threw up a hand. “Motherfuckin’ asshole,” and walked off with the sound of Ellie lowly snickering to herself ringing in her ears.

She texted her a few hours later, and for a second time that day, Ellie’s face had immediately scrunched at the sight of her and Alex’s messages.

Why can’t you just come over for like a few, just to talk

I’m really busy rn, we can soon tho

When is soon???

Hello?

Dina??

Yeah, I’m here. Idk. My schedule is a lot rn with work. we’ll talk. I’ll text you, okay?

Ellie read the message that Dina sent after the screenshot, firing back instantly.

Idk what to do

Tell him to FUCK. OFF.

But he’s really nice

bro

You literally went on like one date w him and he called you his girlfriend… and made you meet his parents at 7am on a Friday.. HE IS WEIRDDD

Idk

I should talk to him

Dina. U know he doesn’t just wanna talk. c’mon

Ellie’s phone goes stagnant for a new minutes, and she continues scrolling on her phone from the privacy of her apartment and the busted up couch she fell asleep on far too often.

Then another string of messages came in.

Seriously

Help

He’s coming ovsr

Over*

ELLIE

FUCK

Dude I can’t help you

You’re a lost cause

Wear protection or something Lol

Fuck u

Yeah I’d want to if he was the other option too

Sick burn

Yeah yeah I’m sure u will, don’t forget to pick up some Monistat LMAO

She chuckles to herself before there’s a slice of complete silence inside the walls of Ellie’s apartment, bring her back to reality when she finally tosses her phone aside next to her on the couch and slugging herself up and toward the kitchen.

Ellie had never been much of a cook. But then again, she’d never been much of anything, other than an artist. She didn’t like calling herself that though. She thought it was a little tacky and cliché. Artíst. Such bullshit.

But it was who she was. And artist, drawer, sketcher, painter… whatever, it’s all the same. Anyone who can see an idea in their mind and let it leave through the work of their hands is an artist by default.

That’s what landed her the job she has now, tattooing at a shop a few blocks over called InK & Sink.

It’s exactly what it sounds like. Kind of. It’s a place where a group of really high tattoo artists decided to open up a place that was the first tattoo and edible shop all in one place.

The edible shop is on the ground floor, mostly covered in neon signs and a cheesy bakery case near the front with a cash register. Tattooing was down a flight of stairs toward the back, in a renovated basement with the main wall painted a burnt-orange and full of a majority of previous tattoo stencils. And it was all run by a man called Drot. He has what’s left of a Romanian accent, ink covering his head to toe and a love for baking. (And a borderline criminal amount of stand mixers.)

Ellie absolutely loved her job. She loved everything about it. And she meant everything. It made her chest puff up with pride anytime someone came in specifically to get tattoo’d by her. Her work. They loved her work. They saw it online and needed to have it.

She loved talking to customers, and seeing the first timers (regardless of age) relax into her chair for sometimes hours at a time while she listened to their life stories. Knowing people. Learning about so many people. It fascinated her. It made her feel less alone, which she hated to think about, but loved to pretend it was normal to feel the way she did.

She sometimes wished she could record their conversations so she could one day playback all of them and keep them all for herself. The small group of people that she had this connection with, forever. But she obviously knew that was creepy. And weird… and a little stalkerish. But the sentiment was nice.

The pay was good too. She also loved that. And the fact that she had most holidays off. Drot didn’t like being open when it was any time the snow was past the welcome mat either, and he certainly didn’t enjoy the 45 minute drive every morning —especially if there was rain— from the shop to his house.

He was protective of his building, and his customers, and his staff. He loved them like his goddamn family. And as far as he was concerned, they were. His accent wasn’t only, but it was his past too. It was something that he didn’t talk about much, but the ink on his arms told that story well enough.

His parents came to the US from Romania, he was six. And he lived in Utah most of his life, up until high school when he went to Texas for college and stayed until his mid twenties. He met Mia here in New York within the first week… and now they have two kids, close to Ellie’s age.

Or so she guesses, he has their names on the back of his ankles with what Ellie can only assume is their birthdays just below them. She’s only ever seen it once, and has never met either of them. They don’t come around much.

She’s brought back into her kitchen now, the cold buzzing of her fridge sending a chill through her fingers as she pursed her lips together and slowly tapped lazily on the door, trying to decide what to eat.

She needed to go grocery shopping, badly. Her fridge was bare excluding some blueberries that rotted away in the corner, a tower full of sauces, old take out, and a pack of pudding she hadn’t opened yet.

She decided this was her dinner. Four chocolate pudding cups.

Ellie sighed, reaching forward into the cold box and pulling them back with an even heavier sigh. They’d expired. How that is? She had no idea. Seeing as they typically lasted over a year without going bad.

“Shit.” she said to herself, for some reason started looking around the room for something to eat… as if there would be a fully prepared dish hiding itself under all of her unopened mail.

Fuck, she did not want to leave right now. She wanted to stay in, to people watch from her window and then shower and go to bed. She did not want to go ou—

She went out. And she hated every minute of it. From her favorite corner store being closed, to some asshole not knowing how to drive and almost reversed into her… she hated all of it.

But it didn’t stop her from popping into the liquor store on the way back for some beer.

The bell rang above her head, the familiar ring to her reddened ears making her sigh. She didn’t want to let something so small bug her, but her patience was limited on an empty stomach. Probably why she was always fighting to urge to put someone in their place at any given time. Nerves running on nerves. Bone on bone.

“Welcome in,” the cashier said from behind the counter, finishing up checking out a group of kids half her age. Candy and soda and a bunch of other things trickled down into five different transactions. Counting pennie’s and dimes until they could cover it all.

Ellie took a breath in before making her way towards the back of the store, pulling the door open with a shaking hungry hand and grabbing the first 6-pack she saw. Her greedy fingers were wrapped around the cardboard carrier, and soon she was scanning the aisles for something to line her stomach for the night.

She landed on a Heath bar, some Pringles and a Cup-O-noodle. She also grabbed a bag of Skittles at checkout.

“You wanna bag?”

Ellie pulled her wallet from her back pocket and nodded, fishing out a twenty dollar bill as the cashier put her snacks and her form of a sleeping aid in the plastic bag.

She was soon rattling off a “Thank you.” as she stuffed her change into her front pocket and grabbed her things before nudging the door open with her elbow.

It didn’t take her long to crack open the shiny new 6-pack. At the next busied corner, she unclipped her carabiner from her belt loop and took her guitar shaped bottle opener and rather forcefully opened up her drink with a familiar and comforting hiss.

Pulling the glass bottle from its home, she put it to her lips and let it simmer down her throat.

Ellie drank beer, yes. She liked what she liked. She liked not only how it made her feel, but look. She thought it made her seem like the coolest person in the room sometimes. (she’d never admit that of course—although the smirk on her face nearly gave her away every time—) Plus, she wouldn’t be caught dead with a glass of wine in her hand if she could help it.

She hasn’t been drinking for very long (legally that is) and even before then, beer was always her go-to. And most available. It was light enough to make her feel buzzed and a little horny, but if she had a few more after that buzz… she nearly became unbearable.

She could still remember the good parts of the night, and block out the parts where she collapses to the ground with tears pooling in her eyes and curses under her breath until she’s crying so hard that the bottle in her hand fuzzes itself out of her grip with a loud, rippling crash as it hits the ground.

Ellie.

Beer.

They mixed; sometimes.

Tonight, it was the buzz of two to three beers. Her mouth was on the bottle until she stopped dead in her tracks to see a giant ass bed frame tilted halfway into the open door of the apartment diagonal from Ellie’s.

She scoffed under her breath, a low “Fuck,” falling from her lips as she stashed her drink in her bag and dragged her feet down the hall.

Who the fuck was moving in at… Jesus, it was only 7. She was a third of the way to a black out at 7pm on a Thursday, great.

“You have to move it, no— fuck! Seriously?” and that’s when Ellie had actually noticed him, coming out from behind the other side of the frame, throwing his arms up and yelling into the door.

“You have to move it! Don’t just stand there… Jesus Christ,” and Ellie pulls her brows together at the sound of his voice, all the alcohol pouring out of her and into the palms of her hands that had suddenly gone clammy.

She hears someone else, a softer voice compared to the scruffy shouts she had to ring out from her head. She seems upset. And rightfully so. This guy was being a dick.

“Can you just— for fucks sake, I’m trying!” and Ellie then see’s the bed frame shake back and forth with the emphasis of her words. It sent a shock of adrenaline through Ellie for some reason, and it made her spiral with a multitude of thoughts.

This must be her boyfriend, asshole. She should break up with him. Wonder if she likes girls. Wonder if she like’s mascs. Is she even gay? Bet she’s hot, her voice sounds kind of familiar, shit hopefully not… that’d be so awkward. What if it’s not? What if she—

“Dorin, can you fucking stop?! You’re gonna break it!” and she hears that same voice, and for some reason she tries to place it, slipping into the frames of faces she knows. She fails, but god, it was so distinct. So… familiar. She could’ve sworn she’d heard it before.

She was soon drawn from her endless daydream when he—Dorin, she could only guess— looked up at her, finally ceasing to take his hands from the metal and notice her standing there.

Ellie stood frozen in the hall, her eyes slightly widening when she realizes that he can see her, too.

“Sorry,” she spurts, remembering that her legs actually worked and used them to take a tentative step forward.

“‘t’s fine.” and he looks back into the door before taking a step back. He’s glaring inside the apartment, almost as if to say that it wasn’t actually fine at all.

But Ellie couldn’t move. She was afraid to take another step. She didn’t want to have to potentially face one of her hook ups… not if she could help it.

She couldn’t really walk anyways, because the frame was jutting out so far that it had blocked her path just enough to cut off access to her door. “Um, my door… it’s ah, the…” and she motioned her hand forward, god she was so fucking flustered.

He sighed, not even trying to hide his ire from her. “She can’t get by. We’re gonna have to fucking take it apart or something.” and he was leaning against it now.

The sight was an odd one, Ellie watching her new neighbor at a stand still with a gray metal bed frame and talk into his apartment. Even if she weren’t a little drunk, she’d be just as confused.

“I don’t have the directions! I thought you said it’d fit!” and Ellie could see the hazy vision of her set up, just getting ready for a tattoo. She remembered pulling apart paper towels, setting them down with the black haze of her gloves…

And she heard the murmur of her voice —or, someone’s— from what felt like a million miles away. She couldn’t fucking zero in on it. She needed to. She needed to know.

Without thinking, Ellie chirped up, walking a few more steps to see into the living room with boxes hoarding its corners. She couldn’t see her. “Might need to ditch it. These doors suck. ‘t’s gonna shred it.” and she looked to Dorin, trying to gage if he believed her.

She didn’t care honestly, she was fucking starving and needed to get inside her apartment and piece together this nightmare of a voice.

He pauses, looks back through the door and then back to Ellie. “…She’s right. Let’s just toss it. I’m too fucking tired for this right now.” and she can tell when he says it that she’s upset, but eventually she agrees.

And that’s how Ellie ended up tossing that stupid fucking bed frame down those same four flights of stairs until it was a sad pile of metal sitting on the curb.

Dorin had nearly demanded she stay upstairs, saying he didn’t need help, but Ellie wasn’t an asshole. He clearly needed help. In all honestly, she wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t know his left from right.

Okay, maybe she was kind of as asshole. Regardless, she wasn’t the type who just stood by and watched someone struggle to get their footing right when trying to throw a bed frame over the banister of the fourth floor.

Ellie had set down her bag by now, and stepped up to give him a hand. Which ultimately resulted in helping him carry it all the way back down and place what was left of it on the curb for someone to take.

“Thanks,” he said, wiping the palms of his hands on his jeans before reaching out to greet Ellie. “I’m Dorin.”

She glanced down at it before shaking it firmly. He wasn’t expecting, obviously. They never do. “Ellie.” was all she said.

When she climbed the stairs for a third time that day, Ellie had hoped she was standing outside the door or at the least, leaning against it frame before ducking behind a corner like a timid cat.

She wasn’t, of course. The door was closed shut for the night.

Probably for the best. Ellie didn’t want to be up late drawing sketches of her all night, she had work tomorrow. She was opening.

She had actually enjoyed the earlier shifts. Her body was still waking her as soon as the sun had risen, and not to mention… it had helped keep her schedule clear for the afternoons and evenings.

Although, it had been about a week or two since her last… escapade. She hadn’t really known why, but there was a flicker in her sex life that she had a hard time ignoring. Something had threatened to put it out.

She didn’t want to think about that right now. She just wanted to get inside her apartment and let what just happened roll of her shoulders with the help of what was inside her bag.

Ellie eventually trudged down the hall toward her door, unlocking it with a heavy sigh after failing the first two times. “God, dammit.” she swore under her breath before Dorin had come up after her and disappear behind his own door.

She pushed the door open, finally slipping inside. She was so tired all of this sudden. And her body had ached with something so deep that she actually lifted her shirt to feel around her ribs for a mark. There wasn’t one, but she felt it so much that she winced inside every time she took a step around her tiny kitchen.

In the matter of about ten minutes, Ellie was sitting in front of her TV with a styrofoam cup of ramen that had been devoured almost instantly along with an empty candy bar wrapper and an open can of Pringles, leaving her to lay down on her couch with an arm hanging off as she felt herself falling into a light sleep.

A few hours later, after her body had decided to fall deeper into the couch, she jerked herself awake with the sound of her phone pinging her back to the shrilling silence of her apartment. Followed by a starch in the air that was so thick, it had expressed a single dry cough from her.

“Shit,” she murmured, rubbing a hand over the side of her face and the deep marks that had left their presence with a red hue.

She looked down at the screen, reading the time. It was past nine.

I think I just met the love of my life.

He fucking held the door out for me when I was leaving Alex’s building and did that thing you know where they look u up and down

Holy shit fuck oh my god

Ellie blinked before replying, squinting when her fingers flew across the screen to message back.

Oh yeah? Should I order my tux? Do you need a flower girl???

No bc maybe

He didn’t even say anything to me but like in a hot way

Right…

Fuck off

He was hot

I hope he lives in the building maybe i’ll have to see Alex more til i figure out where he lives

Dina that’s fucking insane. How’d that go btw?

I assume he isn’t invited to the wedding??

Jesus, no

I’ll tell u tmrw, what time do you work?

Ellie rattles off her schedule to Dina for rest of the week and the following: four morning shifts and a closing.

She enjoyed working. Probably a little bit too much. But it was a good, stable job for her after all. And plus, it kept her mind busy; which was most important.

Dina replied a minute later with K sounds good before turning her phone on Do not Disturb, the notification popping up at the bottom of Ellie’s screen.

She eventually stands, her jeans suddenly feeling too tight on her legs as she made her way toward the bathroom to lazily peel them from her just before turning the shower on.

Ellie had hated nights like this. The ones that never seemed to end… no matter how hard she tried. Especially when she was fighting remembering. She wanted to forget. She so desperately wanted to forget and let it slip through the cracks of her brain down the shower drain.

But it wouldn’t, of course it wouldn’t. It was far too thick. Like a sludge that has coated the entirety of her before hardening around the biggest parts, cracking and blistering her skin like porcelain.

That’s what she was after all, something so fragile on the inside with a hard shell. And all it would take was some rain to wash it all away, leaving her exposed.

She rattled inside with every step she took, fear seeping through the bottoms of her shoes as if she were walking on eggshells. But can two of the same thing really break each other?

In the dead of night, after her hair had partially dried—or begin to sweat— she was gasping against the still air of her bedroom, shooting up from her position to let in small hiccups that somewhat resembled a single breath. Inout inout inout.

Her eyes were wide open, scanning for her darkened surroundings. Feeling around her bed for the blanket that had once covered her, her books on her nightstand, the sleeping pills she never took. And her journal. She felt for her journal and the old cover that was familiar enough to make her feel as though she was thumbing a baby blanket.

You’re home. You’re safe. You’re safe. 1, 2, 3, 4. 1234. 1234. 1. 2. 3. 4.

Her dreams had begun eating her in her sleep again. Always the same one. And always so fucking real.

The next breathe she takes is deeper. Shaky, but long enough to make her rest her elbows on her spread out thighs and pinch the bridge of her nose with one hand. She lets it out, the shaky rattle nearly making her whistle.

She tries to forget. She wants to forget. To um-burn this memory from her brain and fill it with the memories that she is trying so hard to hold onto. The ones she keeps between the pages of her journal, the ones that are marked in ink as to never be erased or wiped clean.

She wants these memories inside her head. To jam pack with good and rid of the bad. Get rid of this stupid fucking nightmare that makes her cry before she even realizes she’s awake.

Ellie tells herself it’s only that. “It’s only a nightmare.” But it wasn’t. Before, it was a memory. Something that has stamped her red anger and blue with sadness to mend a broken purple that no one ever sees.

Her breathing begins to slow, and the loud drum of her heartbeat floods out when she looks out her window to catch a glimpse of the sky.

It always felt so big— so… targeted. But yet she always found herself in this moment with the moon. Watching over her as she tried to sooth herself back to sleep.

She does, (eventually) and soon enough the ringing in her ears fades, leaving her to only hear the sound her shaky ribs are making, listening just close enough to hear them rattle from deep within her chest.

Ellie’s hand reaches out from underneath her covers one last time, making sure she could feel the familiar cracked up material of her book. She fell back asleep just a few moments later.

As soon as the moon says goodnight and the Sun begins to wake, as does Ellie. The blinding curl of its brightness makes her squint and throw a hang over her face, smudging her hair to cover her eyes too.

Ellie sighs, letting the sound relish for a minute before throwing her legs over the side of her unmade bed and look for some clean clothes. God, did she seriously need to get her shit together.

She should be more prepared honestly. Having the seasons changed had usually helped, but now it… it had felt different.

Like the sludge wasn’t just just coating over her, but eating her. Letting itself inside to soak through the cracks of her skin as if she was already dead, forming roots from her brittle bones as the earth enveloped her in and drained every last ounce of herself that was left to her name.

Soon enough she finds some pants to wear, a ripped pair of black jeans, torn at the knee. Ellie wasn’t much of a shopper, she rarely bought clothes until they shredded themselves from her body. And because she knew that, she kept her closet filled with identical replicas. Mostly black, but there were a few nice shirts she wore and even a pair of dress shoes.

She never wore those though. She never had anywhere nice to go… still, she had them; just in case.

And as she pulled the jeans over her lose boxers, Ellie had heard the low murmurs of that same voice, and she thought maybe she was dreaming.

But no. She had heard it right. The muffled sound becoming less as she opened her bedroom door to hear her through the thin material of her apartment wall, followed by the striking sound of what Ellie could only guess was her banging —or kicking?— at her own door.

“Motherfucker!” she heard her say, and the way it rang in her ears tunneled so deep she got stuck in her tracks.

It was so fucking familiar. Where has she heard it? This was going to drive her absolutely fucking insane. But she tried to ignore it anyway, finding herself actually shake her head out of the daze and squint when she peeped through the hole in her front door.

She could see her standing there with some of her things including a large cup with a handle and her bag. But… no shoes. Or keys, by the looks of it.

Shit, she thought. That must suck. But where was her boyfriend? Bet he’s passed out. Dick.

Ellie stood there for another moment before the growl of her stomach had peeled her away from the peephole. She made an empty promise to find something on the way to work, knowing she wasn’t going to stop. And that she’d eat on her lunch. Knowing she had over a 2 hour session at noon today.

But this is how it always was. This is what the sludge did. Take and take and take. Give, then take some more… and take a little extra. Just giving her enough to keep her alive.

Eventually though, she finished getting ready. And that meant combing through her hair just to pull it back and doing the same with a T-shirt that hung loose on her cracked ribs. She slid her converse on and grabbed her Ipad and the rest of her things before slipping them into her black messenger bag and out the door.

She tried not to notice how her eyes were glued onto her as soon as she finished locking her door and turned to see the backside of her, and how suddenly she had the urge to pretend she left something inside and climb out the fire escape. Or how fucking pretty she was. Her hair was done nicely— nicer than Ellie’s— and had pieces that framed her face.

Jesus she was getting dizzy. She looked away, hoping she hadn’t seen the utter shock on her face.

Holy shit. Oh my god oh my god ohmygodohmygod.

“Morning,” she said, and it was then that Ellie had to pretend she wasn’t shitting bricks while she stared hard enough trying to get the key out of her door that it might melt under her gaze.

She turned. Played it cool, because this was so cool. Totally nonchalant.

“Morning.” she replied, then, because she was totally chill, she tilted her head up toward her and spoke again. “Locked out?”

She looked down then, avoiding Ellie’s eyes before a dry chuckle left her lips. “Yeah, I uh.. guess you could say that. Think it’s jammed or s’mthing.” she looked embarrassed, crossing her feet that displayed her socks.

Ellie took a step toward her down the hall, trying to pluck her words to form a sentence over the raging sound of her heard pounding inside her chest, threatening to burst right then and there.

“Damn, that sucks. You tried uh…?” and Ellie fell short when she looked her in eye, suddenly losing all the air from her lungs and every ounce of blood from her veins.

Jesus, what the fuck.

“If you’re gonna say opening it, then yes. And I tried my key, it won’t work. I also don’t have my phone.” and it was then that somewhere Ellie knew she should offer to help.

There was a slice of herself that was open, ready to help and offer up her phone to call someone, but it shrunk before her voice had found it’s way up her throat to say it, sinking a thousand feet into the depths of her stomach with a gulp.

“Shit. Well I hope you figure it out.” and she didn’t say another word before making her way past her— ignoring the smell of her perfume radiating off of her and staining Ellie’s nostrils with the hint of honey— toward the stairs.

As soon as she was out of ear-shot, she swore under her breath. “Fuck!” leaving her lips as her feet had stomped down all three remaining floors and onto the street where she pulled a hand down her face with a low groan.

“What the fuck,” she said to herself. She had been a fucking asshole, for no reason. No reason at all. She could go back up there, offer up her phone, shit she’d even give her her own shoes. But she knew she wouldn’t. She knew that. Ellie would move out if it meant never having to go through that again.

And jesus, what had gotten into her? She felt… nervous. But not the same kind of nervous she felt before taking a girls shirt off… Something that felt unfamiliar and uncertain. Like she was about to jump off a cliff with nothing but a paper clip to help crash her fall.

As if she really were falling, and the pavement underneath her feet had shattered and begun giving out beneath her converse. But she wasn’t. She wasn’t.

Ellie snapped her eyes shut for a moment, breathing in the air that had already began warming with the rising sun.

You’re safe. You’re safe. You’re in control. 1234,1234.

She only let herself stand there for a moment longer before she curled her toes inside her shoes and managed to begin walking. Jesus, she was losing it.

Soon enough, Ellie makes it inside the door of InK & Sink with a few minutes to spare. She hated being late, but today by some miracle she had actually managed to make it in time. She had an early appointment —just after 9:30– so she had made her way downstairs after saying a quick “Morning.” to Drot in passing.

He waved her off a silent greeting, his phone pressed to his ear listening closely. “And you tried it again? Well… fuck, can’t you just… okay. No. It’s okay, it’s fine.” And he sighed, running a hand over his face just as Ellie had taken her first steps downstairs.

“Hold on a second, hold. Hey! Ellie? C’mere for a minute.” And her lips had tugged in a straight line, just before she wiped it off and let her brows turn ‘casually’ as she made her way back to him, leaning against the archway.

“Would you um, mind working the cash register for a bit? Just a bit… my um.. my daughter locked herself out, she uh… yes I gotta— No, I’m not going to break… yeah, yes, yes. Okay.” And it was then that he looked toward her, waiting for her response that she had failed to form inside her head.

She said something, not realizing until the words echoed through the thunder washing over her ears.

“Uh… I have uh… yeah. Yeah, sure.” and that’s all she said as she watched him say a few more words into his phone before swapping places with Ellie and making it out the door in the matter of about thirty seconds.

His Daughter. His. Daughter. She was his daughter. Oh god she was so screwed.

No. No. That could be anybody, a really weird coincidence. There’s a lot of people in New York, in her building. Not a chance it’s the same person.

But her voice. Her voice. She heard it through the phone. Somebody’s. Someone must’ve given her a phone to use. Fuck. That’d be a nightmare if she’d given her phone to use and her dad’s contact was already there. Jesus.

No, can’t be her. It’s not. Why is this such a big deal? Why can’t you just let it go, roll off your shoulders. C’mon. You’re not gonna get fired for being an asshole to his kid. No way.

This is what the inside of Ellie’s head was thinking the whole fifteen minutes she was working a cash register she had little to no experience working, all while greeting customers and playing Baker in her black head-to-toe outfit.

“$6.24 for ya’.” and she held the small parchment paper bag across the counter, swapping it for cash and pressing for the till drawer.

“Have a good one,” she echoed, just before the door had opened and the soft bell rang in her ears.

“Welc— oh, hey.”

“Hey.” Drot said, dropping his head between his shoulders and chuckling low.

Ellie could see the slow shake of his head with each quiet laugh, and with each second she grew more anxious.

“This mornings’ been interesting, no?” He looked up now, a grin planted on his lips as he patted her on the shoulder that would’ve been hard enough to shatter the bone there if she let it.

“Interesting? Uhh… guess so.”

He leans back against the opposing counter— a little to Ellie’s right, and nods her away from the cash register.

“My daughter. She just moved. Forgot her keys. inside and had no shoes on. No. She had her old keys.” he was smiling at her, inviting Ellie to do so along side him.

She offered up a small chuckle followed by a raise of her eyebrows and a single. “Ah.”

He sighs to himself before standing up straight and making Ellie’s eyes jump up to meet his gaze.

“She’s you’re age. A little younger. You should meet her. She’s… like you.”

“Like me?” and she says it before fully realizing, letting it slip right past her lips.

“Yeah… she uh.. well, you know. Eh, forget it. Go, go.” Drot is ushering her away from his register and toward the small swing king door near the end of the counter.

She grabbed ahold of her bag with a fist, turning to look back at him before she made her way down the stairs.

Like her? What did he mean like her? She couldn’t let herself think on it. She had a job to do. Work to do. She couldn’t let her mind fall out of her head on the clock.

Which is why when she met Dina for coffee after work, she was all Ellie kept thinking about.

“And then— while he was fucking on top of me he tells me he loves me?! Like are you kidding? So then after that I was li— Ellie, are you listening?”

She wasn’t. Her eyes were narrowed in on the small lights that were strung up above both of their heads, counting and watching the bulbs flicker until she was blinking back into reality when she heard her own name.

“Yeah, yeah. I am.” and she clears her throat and shakes the thought of her out of her head.

“What’d I say?”

“He said he loved you… like a fucking weirdo.” and that cracked Dina a little bit. Before she collected herself and took a sip of her drink.

“What? Like I’m wrong? Alex is weird; and I mean that in every extreme way possible. Yeah sure whatever he’s ‘nice’… but Dina. You can do better. You know you can.”

“I— I feel guilty okay?”

“Don’t! You shouldn’t. I’m serious.”

“Ellie…” she tilts her head with a stare.

Ellie does the same, mimicking her time when she says: “Dina. Really though. You know I’m right.”

“Yeah, but I’m not giving you that ego boost.” and she shakes her head as she leans back into her chair.

Ellie smirks. “You already did.”

They sit outside bickering back and forth like this for another hour, cracking jokes and mostly pissing Dina off while Ellie spreads her legs wider to try and fight the shake she feels inside them. She was running on this coffee alone, and it was starting to finally become noticeable.

“You cold or something? You’re shaky.” Dina has her forearms pressed against the table, leaving the pattern against her skin when she reaches across to try and feel for herself.

Ellie pulls back when they make contact, shrugging her off with denial. “No. I’m good.”

“You eat today?” and the pull in her brows is one that Ellie doesn’t like.

But she laughs it off, tries not to notice how shifty and full she’s filling with guilt alone. “Yes, mom. I stopped somewhere this morning.”

“Ellie… it’s after four.” and she looked away from her to reach inside her bag for something— her wallet. “Here, let me—”

“I have money. I’ll just go get something inside. That make you happy?” Ellie was already planting her feet on the ground before Dina could answer, and she was pushing back from her chair to make her way inside to order.

She was pissed at herself. Pissed that her hands we’re shaking so badly at only 4 o’clock, that Dina had noticed, that she hadn’t noticed and can’t make them stop.

She’s also pissed because she wasn’t watching where the fuck she was going, and she bumped right into someone hard enough to spill their coffee on the tile.

She’s reaching out to land a hand on their arm before drawing her feet back away from the forming puddle. “Fuck, I’m-”

Her. It was her. Ellie’s eyes are glued onto hers, noticing the deep hazel and the mascara on her lashes. And her wispied bangs that fell a little too perfect on her face. And her face; she noticed her face. The three freckles that connected around her right eye in a constellation of a tria—

“You’re good…” she said, dipping her eyebrow in recognition. “Oh, hey. It’s you.” and she goes to point a finger, but her arm is still in Ellie’s grasp.

Ellie let’s go when she realizes. She didn’t even notice it there at first, but now, the feeling is vast and leaves her bicep with a map of goosebumps. Almost like Ellie had taken the heat right from her and placed it into her cheeks that were the color of a ripening tomato.

When her hand falls, Ellie lets the scene before her unfold for a moment. Taking in the spilled drink on the floor— and noticing she finally a pair of on. Without thinking, she tells her that.

“Finally got shoes on huh?” and she looks down at her own feet, wearing a pair of black Dr Martens that had now made her an inch or two taller than Ellie.

A little confused, she agrees. “Yeah, I do.”

And for some reason —unknown to her— Ellie perks up to specify. “From this morning. No shoes… You were uh, locked out…”

Soon there’s recognition in her voice, making her eyebrows raise and a laugh to stumble from her lips as she speaks. “Oh! Yeah… yeah, I got in. Yeah. Surprised you remembered honestly. You seemed.. in a rush.”

There’s a beat. One serged with electricity that would shock the two of them if they touched.

“Sorry.” Ellie says. She can’t help but wince when she says it.

She looks at her, still lost in the conversation. Ellie doesn’t know why she keeps fucking this up. Even when she’s apologizing.

“About your coffee. And this morning… and last night. I was an asshole. I— I don’t know why I did that. I don’t- I’m not usually… like that.” Liar.

She waves Ellie off. The ring on her middle finger glistens against her hand when she moves into a sunspot. “No worries. Shit happens.”

Shit happens? She thought about it for a second. Yeah. Shit does happen. No worries.

“Still. I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. I swear I’m not always that… much of an asshole.”

She laughs a little. “Sounds like something an asshole would say.”

Ellie pauses when she says this, a little struck by her words; a little guilty. It doesn’t last long when she breaks and says: “I’m fucking with you. Everyone’s a little bit of an asshole sometimes.”

To this, Ellie actually sighs in relief. She fucking sighs. Just fucking with you.

“Right. Well.. I feel like one. Do you want another drink? On me.” she’s pulling out her wallet from her back pocket before she can even object.

She takes a moment to consider it; furrowing her brows in thought before she begins to actually… grin. “You always buy your neighbors coffee?”

Ellie’s cheek swell with a red hue she is hoping to hide with a snarky remark. “Only the cute ones.” she shoves one of her shaky hands in her back pocket.

She blows a breath from her nose, a half-laugh. “So you do this pretty often then huh?”

“Nah… you’re the first.” and that’s true. She’s never done this before.

Of course she hasn’t. Because if she had— she wouldn’t be so fucking nervous.

“Lucky me then.” and she pauses, looking at Ellie for a beat… almost like she’s hesitating. Almost like she’s waiting for Ellie to make a move.

The moment passes, and she pipes up again.

“Well, what if I wanted to buy you coffee?”

Ellie shifts in her stance. She was getting lightheaded, and she wasn’t sure if it was because she was starving… or flirting in the middle of a coffee shop with her brand new neighbor. Who was also her employer daughter. (Possibly.) [Definitely, without a doubt.]

“Why would you wanna buy me coffee?”

“Do I need a reason?”

She’s faultering, cracking and smudging, about to melt into a puddle next to this spilled coffee that was soaking into the grey tile. “…No. Guess not.”

She smiles. And of course it’s incredible. “Alright. Good. So, what do you want?”

“Well what do you want? You gonna let me buy you something?”

By now, she is reaching over to grab a handful of napkins, crouching down to begin wiping away the mess.

“Eh. I’ll think about it.”

Ellie scoffs. She shakes her head. And she can’t fucking believe she’s doing this in broad daylight.

But… what was she doing? She’d flirted in public before, and she’d done even more than that.. so why was she getting so shy? Why was the sludge melting away with the heat of her cheeks and the sweat of her palms when she reaches to grab some tissues and begins to help clean up.

And because Ellie is secretly terrified this feeling will go away.. she fights to make more conversation. “Sorry about your bed. The doors are pretty shit.”

She mops up her drink, wadding up the napkins and tosses them without standing. “It’s alright. I kinda fuckin’ hated that thing to be honest. It was a bitch to put together.”

She’s watching Ellie, her slender fingers and shortened nails were a sight. And this Ellie could pick up on. The sudden feeling of her eyes darting down to watch this very mundane but intimate moment.

Jesus, it just felt like the two of them.

Like the world had fallen away, the music muffled out, chatter quieting to a white noise. The only thing Ellie saw was her. She could feel the scratchy material of the brown napkin and the weight of her hazel eyes on her movements.

It was so… bold. So full and alive. Light. Simple. Delicate.

Ellie had to say something. Shit. Her brain was scattering with her eyes on her. Her neighbors eyes on her. Her neighbor who had a boyfriend. Maybe.

Fuck, it didn’t matter… she had to stand back up and make sure she didn’t pass out from whatever was going on.

Eventually she does, straightening her knee’s from her squat and adjusting her jeans that had rode down to reveal her boxers underneath.

Ellie is standing and looking down her feet when she notices the coffee has stained the laces of her shoes.

Not that she minds, they were already dirtied from wearing them everyday; that was a given. And even if she did mind: Shit happens. No worries.

From the corner of her eye she see’s her stand back up too… and it’s then that she realizes she never asked her name.

So she does.

Her head is shooting up with the thought, rushing to find her eyes that were already looking at Ellie. Her hands go clammy again. God.

“I uh, I never.. Oh my god I can’t even talk. What’s your name?” and Ellie shakes her head with disbelief. Her game is way off.

She laughs. Not mean, Ellie can tell. She cracks a smile when her eyes line with a shine from the sun.

“Poe.”

Poe. Poe. Poe.

It had suited her better than she had even begin to think, slotting it into place and sighing when it clicked there.

“Cool, cool. I’m Ellie, by the way.” she breathed out something pathetic, a sliced up nervous laugh.

But Poe was smiling at her, Poe.

Poe… was smiling at her.

“Nice to meet you, officially.”

“Yeah, you too.”

The thick hum in the air felt like a barbed wire, zapping Ellie’s skin when Poe spoke up again.

“So, Ellie, you gonna buy me some coffee or what?” and the grin on her lips was wide enough to make Ellie slip from the reality back into their banter.

So much so that she’d completely forgotten about Dina, leaving her to text Ellie a string of messages and a pissed tone scorching through the screen.

But Ellie couldn’t be worried. Because Poe was sitting in Dina’s freshly abandoned chair. Smiling.

At her.

She was so fucked.

Later that night— after Poe had made her order some gluten free lemon poppy bread (which Ellie said: “Shit tastes like dirt. Dirt if you pissed in it.”) and then laughed at her when she tried to wash it down with her coffee but ended up with a mouthful of what tasted like burnt shit.

Then offered up her own drink to be told it was “Milk and ice. A shittier version of vanilla ice cream.”— Ellie had made it home and was tucked into her bed with her journal and pen.

Her hand was scribbling across the page, racing her brain for the details before they slipped and tugged through the cracks after sleeping on it.

She fills up another page, talking about all the things that choke up her sobs… and finally sketches a dragon on the back, covering up the nightmare from last night— soaking it into the scales of the monster.. letting it’s fiery breath burn the memories that fuel the rot in her brain.

Ellie sighs before she wipes her face with the back of her hand, pulling the cuff of her sweatshirt over her palm and sniffling.

The routine is coming to a close when she sets her journal back on her nightstand and gets to her feet, trudging to the bathroom to get ready for bed and make sure she is still the same person in the mirror.

It never comforts her when she see’s herself… part of her hopes that maybe, just maybe, that one day she will flip the light switch and won’t recognize herself.

But of course she does. She knows the freckles on her face and their placement on her skin, the scar on her temple, her stoned over green eyes; turned dark and cold over the last few years… she see’s it all, and she wishes she didn’t.

She see’s something else that night… when she’s asleep in her bed after the clock passes 1AM.

She see’s Poe, standing in her doorway, with her hands crossed over her chest and a closed lipped smile across her face. She was the moon, and she was brighter than all the lights in New York City.

#all the lights 1 #ellie williams tlou #ellie x fem reader #bellswlw #the last of us #ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie tlou2 #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams tlou2 #ellie williams x reader #tlou 2 ellie #ellie the last of us

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your-world-with-nct · 7 months

Text

polaroid love | njm (3)

THREE — thinking about you

<- BACK | MENU | NEXT ->

PAIRING | na jaemin x female reader (ft. nct dream + enhypen 02z)

GENRE | fluff, angst, college au

WARNINGS | intended lowercase, cursing, alcohol consumption

WORD COUNT | 3.8k

SUMMARY | inspired by enhypen’s ‘polaroid love’ — in his twenty-two years of living, na jaemin has never been in a proper relationship. after witnessing his best friends go through their fair share of complicated, devastating heartbreaks, jaemin decided he was better off investing his time and effort into his studies, rather than wasting his time falling in love. years of having fleeting crushes and being countlessly confessed to passed by and not a single person could tempt jaemin into the world of love. that is, until, he meets someone that he can’t get out of his head no matter how long he stares at his anatomy textbooks. someone that reminds him of the hopeless romantic he once was. someone that can show him that love doesn’t have to be so complicated to succeed.

FIC PLAYLIST LINK | click here to enhance your reading experience!

HEADER KEY | • REC -> a character’s point of view | ■ GALLERY -> a flashback from that character’s point of view

A/N | sorry for being so inactive lately! i’ve been busy preparing for uni and it was actually my first night last night 🙈 hope you guys enjoy this new chapter and feedback is always appreciated <3

Y/N CAM • REC

you stared at jake in silence, watching as he fiddled with his chopsticks whilst waiting for the food to come, “jakey?”

“hmm?” he answered, eyes fixed on the small tower he was making by stacking tiny, balled-up pieces of a napkin.

“you okay?” you asked, your voice laced with concern, “you didn’t even squeal when you saw the turtle-shell grill, is everything alright?”

jake let out a quiet giggle at your observation, putting his chopsticks down and abandoning his napkin tower, “yeah, everything’s fine, i’m just… tired.”

you raised a brow, not completely convinced by his answer. reaching across the table, you took his hand in yours, rubbing your thumb against the back of his hand, “hey, you know you can tell me when something’s bothering you, right? i’m not gonna force you to say anything if you don’t want to, but i’m here to listen, okay? i don’t like seeing you upset, what do i have to do to put a smile on your face, hm?”

you noticed jake’s lips curve upwards at your words, but the smile had yet to reach his eyes. he squeezed your hand and met your gaze, “thank you, y/n, really, but i promise i’m okay. i’ve just… had a long day, those morning classes are such a pain in the ass. ugh, i wish i’d taken up your coffee offer before.”

you still weren’t a hundred percent reassured by his answer, but you decided it was best not to push him for the truth. instead, you settled with the reply he gave, “ahh, okay, i’m glad nothing’s bothering you, but i’m still shocked you said no to free coffee.”

“i don’t know what got into me, i’ll be honest,” jake shrugged, retracting his hand from yours and running it through his hair.

“well, don’t you worry, i’ll buy you some coffee next time you take me to photography club,” you bit your lip, trying to hide your growing smile at the thought of seeing a certain someone again.

“next time? you wanna come next time?” jake cocked his head to the side, his face reminiscent of a confused puppy, “what’s with the sudden interest? don’t tell me you expect free food in return for helping me, you know i don’t have the funds for that!”

“actually…” you paused, inwardly debating whether to tell your best friend or not. “okay, can i tell you something and can you promise not to judge me? or tell anyone else?”

“judge you? i mean… depends how bad it is.”

“jake, i’m serious!”

“okay, okay, i promise! now, what is it, my dear?” he said, leaning in and placing a sympathetic hand on yours.

you pulled your hand out from under his, lightly smacking it, “i told you, you’ve gotta stop calling me that in public, people are gonna think we’re dating.”

jake shrugged, “so? you’re the one who held my hand before, hypocrite.”

the exaggerated pout on his face told you that he wasn’t being serious, but you didn’t want him to think that you were joking, “okay, that’s fair, but… it just— it can scare guys away! which i don’t have a problem with when it gets creeps to back off, but sometimes there are guys that i don’t want to scare off, y’know?”

your gaze trailed down to the grill on the table, unable to make eye contact with your best friend knowing your words were quite harsh. a few seconds went by with no reaction or reply from him, and although it seemed like you were too late, you scrambled to soften the blow.

“i-i’m not saying you have to stop doing those things, i still like the affection and the cute names but, maybe, i don’t know, you could save that for when we’re, uh, not in such a public place?”

“who is it?” jake asked, his arms crossed over his chest.

“wh-what do you— who… what?”

“hey, first things first, i’m not upset. if saving that stuff for when it’s just us or just friends is what you’re comfortable with, then ‘course i don’t mind doing that,” he shifted to lean his elbow on the table, relaxing his stance in hopes of relaxing you.

“what i meant was, well, i know you, y/n, and there must be a specific guy you don’t want scaring off, and, ah! that must be the ‘thing’ you were gonna tell me about, that’s why you didn’t want me to judge you or tell anyone. am i right or am i right?”

you blinked once, twice, in disbelief that jake was able to read you so well—it was a blessing and a curse. you opened and closed your mouth to speak, but nothing was coming out, earning you a loud giggle from the boy across you.

“your silence is telling me i’m right,” he said with a smug smile.

“okay, fine, yes, you’re right. i hate how accurate that was,” you sighed, trying to regain your composure.

“so… the guy?” jake asked, fed up from the anticipation.

“promise you won’t judge or tell anyone?” you held up your pinky in front of your best friend.

intertwining his finger with yours and placing his other hand on his chest as if he was swearing an oath, he declared, “i swear on my dog’s life, i won’t tell a soul.”

“good,” you nodded, “well, the guy is, uh, it’s someone you know well, he’s, hmm—”

“stop beating around the bush, who is it!”

“it’s jaemin!”

jake’s eyes widened as his jaw dropped, “jaemin? like na jaemin? like the med student jaemin, the photographer jaemin? the jaemin you met not even a few hours ago?”

“shhh!” you launched forward, pressing your hand against his mouth. “the whole restaurant does not need to know, and for the record, yes, it is that jaemin. and before you judge, which i’m pretty sure you already have, i’m not saying i like him or anything, i’m just, interested in him, let’s say.”

“interested? go on,” jake said to the best of his ability while your hand was still covering his mouth, prompting you to remove your hand and wipe it with your napkin.

“okay, ew. anyways, i-i don’t know, jaemin always sounded so sweet and funny whenever you told me about him, and, well, i saw that for myself today. he’s also, like, really really gorgeous, i couldn’t stop staring at him, and when he came up close to talk to me, i swear i almost fainted right there and then,” you paused to catch your breath, surprised at how easy it was for you to gush over someone you had, like jake pointed out, just met.

“but, like you said, i don’t even know him that well, which is why i’m glad he asked for my number so we can—”

“he asked for your number?”

“yeah, he asked for it so he could send the photos he took to me.”

“damn, i’m stealing that move from him, that’s smooth.”

“‘smooth’? ‘move’? y-you think he’s interested in me too? that he did it on purpose?” the mere idea of jaemin reciprocating your feelings had your heart rate speeding up.

“i-i don’t know anything! i mean, whaaat? what were you saying before i interrupted?” jake blinked rapidly, poorly covering up how suspicious he sounded.

you decided to ignore whatever it was he was hiding in case it gave you any false hope, and continued your point, “as i was saying, i’m glad he gave me his number, that way i can get to know him and stuff before jumping into anything. he was just… he was really nice and everything, i just wanna see how it goes, y’know?”

jake nodded, “ahh, okay, that sounds good. i hope it goes well for you, really. jaemin hyung’s a great guy, i can vouch for that, so no need to spend your early talking stage trying to figure out whether he’s a red flag or not.”

you laughed, cringing as the boy’s words reminded you of a past, failed fling, “oh, trust me, i don’t want a repeat of that. everything feels so much easier with jaemin, i have a feeling it’ll be different with him.”

JAEMIN CAM • REC

“get the drinks out, boys, we’re celebrating tonight!” haechan exclaimed, swinging the front door open and letting jaemin shuffle in behind him.

“it’s literally… thursday night,” jeno deadpanned, glancing up from the tv to give his roommate a look of concern, or was it confusion? jaemin was too preoccupied thinking about… someone else to tell.

haechan locked the door, passing jeno’s slumped figure on the sofa and making his way to the kitchen. scoffing, he muttered under his breath, “okay, when has that ever stopped you?”

unfortunately, he wasn’t quiet enough, as jeno shot up from the couch, ready to crush that little coconut head of his, but was quickly stopped by jaemin pulling him back down to sit and renjun interrupting the petty squabble.

“can you two shut the fuck up for a sec,” he looked up from what he was cooking, glaring as he pointed his spoon at jeno and haechan respectively. “you said we should be ‘celebrating’, right? that means… it went well with y/n! how was it then, jaem?”

haechan gasped, placing the cans of cider he’d retrieved from the fridge onto the counter, “oh my god, would you believe jaemin actually—”

renjun sighed, rubbing his temples with his fingers as he whipped round to face his infuriating friend, “sorry, is your name jaemin?”

jeno and jaemin’s (not so) muffled giggles broke through haechan’s silence, which spoke for itself.

nodding, renjun turned back to the boiling pot on the stove, “yeah, i thought so. go on, jaem.”

jaemin took a deep breath, trying to organise what felt like a million and one thoughts into coherent words, “to be honest, i-it felt… like a dream. i must’ve blacked out or something, it was like some super confident version of me took over. i still can’t believe that i winked at her, practically held her hand, asked for her number and got it. oh, and she even gave me her instagram without me asking.”

“sorry, what? you got her number and held her hand and you— my god, i need some time to process the fact that you did all of that,” jeno placed a hand on jaemin’s shoulder, before quickly turning it into a hug. “shit, man, i’m proud of you.”

“damn, you go, jaem!” renjun cheered from the kitchen, his face beaming with pride for his best friend’s multitude of successes, “so y/n’s definitely single then? ‘cause you’re in a good position right now to start getting closer to her if she is.”

“yup,” haechan answered, “i checked with her friend jake, and jaemin’s got the green light. jake even said he’d help him out if he needed, but as if our jaemin will need his help, right?”

jaemin’s eyes widened, looking frantically from jeno beside him to the boys in the kitchen, “uh, well, you’re kinda overestimating my skills, hyuck.”

“oh no,” he shook his head, chuckling. “no, no, no, i know you’ll need help but you’ve got us! y’know, since we’ve actually gotten this far with girls before.”

renjun’s stirring slowed to a stop as his jaw dropped, and jeno whipped around, burying his face in the couch cushions to suppress his laughter.

“yah!” jaemin stood up, pointing a threatening finger at haechan. on any other occasion, he would’ve found the teasing funny and laughed it off, but jaemin’s furrowed brows and stern tone told the boys otherwise.

“ah, i crossed the line, didn’t i? sorry, sorry,” haechan said, holding his hands up in surrender.

jaemin sighed as he slumped back down onto the sofa, burying his head in his hands, “no, i’m sorry. i really do appreciate your help and support, because, you’re right, i have no idea what i’m doing. i just— i really really don’t wanna mess up with y/n, and i’m grateful that you guys are willing to help me out, but it would be nice if you let me figure some things out myself too.”

jeno ruffled his best friend’s hair, giving him a supportive pat on the back as he replied, “of course we can do that! i know that sometimes we get involved in each other’s business without being asked, but we do it because we care, even though it’s not always the best way of showing it.”

“yeah,” haechan added, abandoning the drinks and joining his roommates on the couch. “we just want the best for you but we don’t wanna get there by overstepping your boundaries or anything.”

“i agree! with both of those things,” renjun shouted from the kitchen as he plated their dinner, “sorry, they kinda said everything i was gonna say. oh, by the way, food’s ready!”

jaemin chuckled, “thank you guys, honestly. uh, also, this might sound a little contradictory now, but i just realised that i never gave y/n my number. can you help me figure out how to word my first message to her? while we eat, of course, i’m not gonna let the food renjunnie worked so hard on go cold.”

“oh my god, yes!”

“i’ve been waiting for this moment my whole life, not even kidding.”

“at least someone appreciates my hard work!”

the enthusiastic squeals eventually died down and the next thirty (yes, thirty) minutes were spent meticulously drafting a message to you, with the occasional distractions of renjun’s delicious stew and debates over what your contact picture should be.

“okay, i’m pretty sure you can send it now,” haechan said and was met with nods of agreement.

“pretty sure?! pretty sure isn’t sure enough for me, i’m checking it one more time,” jaemin shook his head, placing his phone on the table and reading the text aloud.

“‘hey y/n, it’s jaemin, just letting you know since i didn’t get to give you my number before. by the way, i haven’t managed to start editing the pics just yet but i’ll let you know how they look once i do, smiley blushy face emoji’. are we sure it’s not too much?” his fingers hovered over the screen, prepared to alter the message for the umpteenth time.

“jaemin, my guy,” jeno placed his hands on jaemin’s in reassurance. “we’ve said it before and we’ll say it again—it sounds fine. and it’s not too much either, the text isn’t dry and the fact that you mentioned the photos means she can start a conversation about it, so you’re less likely to be left on read.”

“plus, y’know, it’s too late now. jeno just sent the text,” renjun pointed out nonchalantly, directing everyone’s gazes to the blue text bubble on the screen and jeno’s hand stacked clumsily on top of jaemin’s… on top of the phone.

jaemin yelped, yanking his hands away and turning his phone off. he squeezed his eyes shut, not ready to accept what happened nor even think about getting a response any time soon.

“i-i’m sorry! i was just trying to make you feel better, i didn’t realise i was gonna press send. we can turn airplane mode on if you want so it doesn’t send! or we can—”

in the midst of jeno’s flurry of apologies, a small ding resonated through the kitchen, followed by another, as the screen illuminated, showing two notifications from messages.

“no. way.” jaemin breathed out, eyes now open and glued to the notification banner. a quick glance over at his wide-eyed friends with their jaws hanging open told him that they were all anticipating the same thing.

“open those notifications, open them right now, na jaemin!” haechan said, more of an encouragement than a demand.

jaemin quickly came to his senses, scrambling to unlock his phone, as the other boys leaned forward to get a closer look at your replies.

“my god, she’s quick,” renjun commented, shuffling closer to read the messages.

“‘thanks for letting me know, saved it now hehe smiley face’. mission accomplished, jaem, she has your number and she replied!”

“ooh, and it seems like your conversation starter worked,” haechan took over for the second, longer message.

“‘speaking of pics, jake never lived up to his ‘threat’ and he took some photos of me at dinner, wanna help me pick which ones to post?’ wait, is she talking about when jake said he would stop taking her instagram photos if she didn’t listen to him?”

jaemin couldn’t hide his wide grin as he nodded, remembering that he was the reason you were so preoccupied.

“well, don’t just sit there blushing like a tomato, answer! you don’t wanna leave her on read for too long, do you?” jeno lightly smacked jaemin on the arm, prompting him to type out a quick ‘sure!’.

once again, they all gathered around the phone, waiting to see the three dots pop up or hear another notification alert. moments passed with no dots nor dings, all that could be seen was a faint ‘delivered’ as the screen slowly faded to black from lack of activity.

“it’s fine, it’s fine,” jaemin shrugged, forcing out a laugh. “she’ll respond later… probably, right? you know what, doesn’t matter, i shouldn’t be so bothered about it, does anyone want another cider?”

before he could even leave his seat, renjun gently tugged his arm, sitting him back down, “jaem, stop stressing, and don’t say ‘i’m not stressing!’ because we know you well enough to know that you definitely are. how about you turn your phone off for the time being, hmm? i know you want things to go well with y/n, but try not to let yourself depend on her too much, okay?”

“he’s right, trust me, it’s awful—obsessively checking if you’ve gotten a notification from a certain someone and letting it ruin your day when you haven’t. y’know, just speaking from experience,” haechan added, earning a nod of agreement from jeno.

“yeah,” jaemin sighed, turning his phone off as renjun suggested. “you guys are right, thank you. you’re probably gonna need to remind me of that a lot, i just– the last thing i want is to get heartbroken.”

jeno placed a hand on jaemin’s shoulder, “we’ll do everything in our power to make sure you don’t get hurt, jaem.”

for the next few hours, jaemin decided to keep himself busy and distract himself from thinking about you. but it was as if the universe didn’t want him to get you out of his head.

washing the dishes reminded him of the lazy roommate you told him about earlier. showering with music on to block out his thoughts? the song that came on shuffle had played earlier while he was taking pictures of you. even reading through his stupid ‘ethics in medicine’ textbook reminded him of you and your passion for your major. before he knew it, the thought of you had infiltrated anything and everything that he did, whether he liked it or not.

“fuck it,” jaemin muttered to nobody in particular, finally turning his phone back on. impatiently tapping his finger against the side of his case, he watched, waiting for the screen to load.

as soon as it turned on, he rushed to unlock it, his hands shaking as he went to click on the messages app. he would be lying if he said his heartbeat didn’t speed up when he saw a ‘6’ hovering next to the icon. before even opening the app, jaemin took a few deep breaths, preparing himself for the worst.

those six messages could be from multiple people—it could be jaehoon sending the notes from the lecture he missed the other day, it could be his mum nagging him about not getting enough sleep, it could be renjun asking for more toilet paper because someone had forgotten to replace the empty roll earlier.

even as he considered all the completely rational possibilities, he still couldn’t come to terms with the idea that the messages could be from anyone but you.

he squeezed his eyes shut and tapped the icon, slowly opening one eye, and then the other to confirm what he thought he’d seen. you had, in fact, sent jaemin six messages almost half an hour ago.

the knowledge that his mental torture could have ended earlier only passed his mind briefly, as he was more bothered by the fact that he had ignored you for so long.

he opened the messages, smiling fondly at the short apology you sent for responding so late because your data wasn’t working. his eyes naturally drifted to the pictures you’d sent, the beat of his thumping heart rivalling that of a deafening drum as he looked closer.

it hadn’t been long since jaemin last saw you but the way your enchanting smile shone like the bright, blazing sun made him feel like he was being welcomed into a brand new day. a giggle escaped his lips when he swiped to the last photo, depicting you mid-laugh, trying to cover your face with your hands but failing to hide those adorably crinkled, sparkling eyes of yours.

‘as an extremely professional photographer, i personally think that they’re all great and you should post them all but i think you look prettiest in the last one,’ jaemin typed out and sent, exiting the app as soon as possible to stop himself from overthinking his response and stressing out about when you’d reply.

feeling the corners of his lips starting to curl upwards, he buried his face in his pillow in embarrassment, but even that couldn’t stop the massive grin from growing. the ring of a notification had him darting upwards, letting out a little squeal when he saw your name on the banner.

‘thank you, mr professional photographer na, the last one’s my favourite too, i’ll post them all with that one as the cover :) since ur such a pro, can you help me choose a caption too?’

never had a simple colon and closed parenthesis made jaemin kick his feet and giggle before, but the thought of you smiling so sweetly behind your screen as you messaged him had his heart racing and his cheeks reddening.

he quickly replied with an ‘of course!’ and, before he knew it, there was no longer that anxious wait between him sending messages and you replying. as the conversation went on, jaemin gradually felt at ease talking to you, his responses coming naturally rather than being carefully crafted and analysed. although the beating of his heart was still erratic, there was something so comfortable, so natural about talking to you that made his worries and everything else around him simply drift away.

that was the first of many late nights jaemin chose to spend with you.

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the-falling-star · 2 years

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ℙ𝕚𝕔𝕜 𝕒 𝕡𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘

𝕂𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕗𝕦𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝕤𝕡𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕖 𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 {𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕕𝕒𝕣𝕜 𝕤𝕚𝕕𝕖}

TW: Mental illness, bullying,Trauma..

Pile 1. Pile 2. Pile 3.

Pile 1

This person is actually breaking My heart their heart has been broken so many times to the point that they are okay with it whenever they meet someone new they will be like "come on disappoint me I'm waiting"this pessimistic act will be noticed on your first date with them they will be looking at you waiting for you to mess it up or just waiting for themselves to do something that will turn you off and you will like walk away from them and a lot of people have walked away from this person and I'm not going to lie they're not doing their best to be honest in every relationship they get into and unfortunately they comes to an end where then they will be left out in the dark, this person is so so lonely they can see it but they don't act against it it's like you know when you stay in the darkness for a long time you get used to it , they always have the same thoughts "I can tell this relationship it's over but I won't say it's over" they just sit there and wait for the other person to walk away and I'm not talking only about romantic relationship even with their siblings family especially the mother side, they used to be this hopeless romantic but now they totally believe that love is not enough finally love is not enough for them so they will ask more from you, it's giving me obsessive behavior they won't recognize that feeling as love they you didn't disappoint them so they will be like "I'll tell her/him I love her or I love him but actually I'm just used to them I'm using them because they didnt leave "they love you they do but they won't admit it to themselves even though they only say it to you because they don't want to hurt your feelings this person know what it feels like to be left in the dark and they will do anything to not leave you or making you go through that I'm seeing you having a fight with your parents and they were like I'm coming stay right there I'm coming do not leave and they comes to you and they tell you you're not alone I'm with you even if all people can leave you I won't.

This is so crazy because the song I channeled for you while shuffling my playlist have the exact same words with what I said love is not enough I think I know it's over before it's over God I can't be more accurate than this 😳

Pile 2

This is a really strong and intimidating person, what I can hear is if they say something I'm pretty sure they mean it, their childhood wasn't that good they may be born in a family with super strict traditions, the father was unforgiven so that affected their adulthood and they become unforgiving to themselves and towards people around them, they expect the best from people especially the one who work with them or for them because this is giving me a person who is in hold of their possessions, work so maybe a CEO or an entrepreneur but this is a person who has it all but unfortunately I don't think they're open to their emotional side because they think that work and actions are the ones who define them or people around them so sometimes when you are talking about your emotion or their emotion they will be like "I don't get it" but honestly this is the person who is really into doing their best, doing what they can and even more sometimes they overwork themselves, this is the person that doesn't play around to be honest I don't know why but I just imagine a fight between you both while they say "I'm supporting this family I'm doing my best what did you put on the table" and I totally believe that they know that you affected their emotional side but they are denying it and probably blaming you for those feeling .. foreign feelings to be exact such as weak, fear of loss, hurt ... I'm also seeing them telling people that they will only do what they wish to, this is a result of their parents not giving them the enough freedom to do what they want when they were a child they were pushed into a life style so they have this trauma around it, they don't want to be controlled and you can sometimes "try" to control them I can see that you may have control issues or you just want to participate more in the relationship they are like" no no no back the f**** up I will do this on my own" I'm so sorry that came from an unknown place because I am not typing this I'm actually speaking and it's automatically wroten so whatever I say it's channeled from them.

The channeled song :

Pile 3

This is a really soft person, sweet energy if this is a woman she have a really feminine energy the way she talks and move screams feminine if it's a man he have a feminine energy to I don't want to say this but I'm going to say it anyway if this is a woman she may had been sexually assaulted when she was young if this is a man other boys bullied him and made fun of him because they thought he's gay, your future spouse grow up to become the adult they needed when they were a child simple as that, they are really proud of themselves this person may be working in a group of people who help kids in matter of bullying trauma etc or they love volunteer work, when they first meet you they are going to try to dig in your life they want to know why are you hiding because they know that each one of us is hiding something deep inside and I see you snapping at them because you don't like sharing secrets they're super nice not even exaggerating the woman is like one of those Disney princess who only do the right thing and want to help anyone in need same with the male they will be like this little hero who want to be in everyone's life " I can help you I can help you" these words you will be hearing a lot from them I don't know why but I'm getting Virgo , Taurus, Libra placement energy, you know this kind of people who go through hell and back and they always look like the happiest people in life like they are never have witnesses anything bad in their life they are just like that you will never know if something hurted them or disturbed them only if they tell you that of course it would be hard for you to read them this is giving me someone who's spiritual they can be disconnected from The Real World I'm seeing like really serious mental illness here they keep locking the bad things that happened to them the toxic thoughts the toxic treats in a dark place, they don't ever ever open up I'm going to say it's a really disturbing behavior because imagine holding all of those things like they never happened one day they're going to blow up hopefully you will be there.

The song i channeled:

#Spotify #pick a pile reading #free pick #the falling star

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sergeantnarwhalwrites · 3 months

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Voice claims through music

An excuse to geek out about my characters and music. Gonna throw down some songs/artists I think my characters sound like some is purely vibes. And toss down some explanation. I can toss down a playlist of all the songs if y'all want to go for that ride, I'd have to find a system for some where I just said the artist or an entire album.

Sorry for the chaos this is to read.

Tag list: @the-void-writes @aether-wasteland-s @magefaery @kk7-rbs @jezifster @winterandwords @liv-is @outpost51 @nanashi23 (Let me know if y'all want me to take you off or add you. Just making assumptions about who wants to see some character stuff)

-Fucked at Five-

Saz: Got that swoon worthy kinda voice swoon worthy as in she can really make you feel it when she speaks. Cracks pretty often, especially when she's got strong feelings about what she's saying. Half morphed voice gives a more ragged feel, cracks less but it's more intense. Still haven't figured out if any of the morphers can talk with words when fully morphed.

Her voice normal: Tracy Chapman (specifically her self titled album)

Half morphed form: Eat You Alive by Limp Bizkit and Hollywood Baby by 100gecs

Ian: Not to say it's whiny but it kinda is. It's voice has got the bass (think that's the word) and a sort of down low feel but it's got like that whiny edge that follows some of the shit he says. Stresses sounds on certain words that don't really need it. Kinda feels like he's being condescending at all times if you don't know him well. His half morphed form's voice still has that waving pitch stressed sounds thing going but arguably less intense. Personally I'd say his voice remains about the same octave maybe a tad bit higher.

Normal voice: The Vaccines and Blink-182

Half morphed form: Friend of a Friend by Weezer and Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus

Elliot: His voice isn't very deep and I definitely wouldn't call him soft spoken either. His voice is typically full of energy. His joy is typically contagious when not annoying. Of course his voice does fluctuate depending on the situation. Shock will either make it shoot up super high or drop really low. I think his half morphed voice is more noteable. Has more of a presence, maybe struggles to speak during his halfway form though.

Normal voice: Hopeless Romantic by Breezy Supreme and Out of My League by Fitz and The Tantrums

Half morphed form: She's Got Balls by AC/DC and I Just Wanna Live by Good Charlotte maybe a bit of Saturday by Remember Sports

Julie: Pretty normal in range and melodic. Her voice definitely has range though. Probably the kind of person who's voice gets higher when they're irked or attention gets put on them unexpectedly. But her voice can also drop a few octaves easily. Her half morphed form voice is still pretty melodic but the words are slower. A breath away from being off with the cadence.

Her normal voice: Breakin' My Heart (Pretty Brown Eyes) by Mint Condition

Half morphed form: Satan is Motor by Cake

-Robots & Gardens-

Peace: On the deeper end but not super deep. I don't think the octave in her voice fluctuates much. It doesn't really go lower and she can't really make it higher without her voice cracking or it just becoming silence. A bit of a slower speaker. She'll leave you hanging on her words sometimes but not painfully so. When she's angry her speech is usually faster and more aggressive.

Normal voice: Making Love to Me by Pink $ock and Party Sickness by Hope Tala and Lovely Day by Bill Withers

Angry tone: Iwss by Dellie Boe

Tone and vibes purely-> her speaking with Green: Sweet Tooth Baby by Ark Woods and My Baby Loves Me by Cyberbully Mom Club maybe a splash of Me and My Husband by Mitski

Green: Her voice is gruff and low. It's got a rumble to it. Like it comes from her throat and chest. The force/intensity varies with her mood. The happier/more at ease version is more of a rumble. The angrier version's get more bite it's deeper. The sound of her words clash together so it's almost like she's just growling at you the whole time.

Normal voice: Twisted Transistor by Korn and FMLYHM by Seether

Happy/Happier voice: Monkey Wrench by Foo Fighters and ULTRAnumb by Blue Stahli and Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard

Angry/highly irritated voice: I Saw Your Mommy... By Suicidal Tendencies and Pain by Soulfly and Man of the Year (Tree City Sessions) by Dance Gavin Dance.

Tone and vibes purely-> her speaking with Peace: Love Soft by Cyberbully Mom Club and When I Come Home by The Drums and a sprinkle of Michelle by Sir Chloe

Digits: More easily described as all over the place. I wouldn't say her voice is high. I'd actually say her voice is typically more monotone and even. She's just doing fucky shit with her voice all the time to make points. That's just how she talks. Excited? It's like she's chanting. Irritated? Whiny white boy voice activated. Hurt? An amalgamation of things who knows. Peace actually finds Digit's funny because of this.

Normal voice (more like her most comfortable): Mindless Self Indulgence (Frakenstein Girls Will Seem Strangely Sexy album mostly) and I'm Not Laughing Anymore by Left at London.

Annoyed voice: Glaive (in general) and gwen by wilt

Silly goofy voice 1: I Fucked Yr Mom by Sorry Mom and I Fuck Everything Up by Mom

Donnie: Sir is mute so their's is gonna be about their tone and the vibes they give off. He gives the vibes to me of a comforting kind of tone that can flip really quick. It's on the edge at all times. Except for when he's joking most likely. Though I find his annoyance a bit funny cause they can be a little snippy a bit of an asshole real quick.

Normal tone: Piss It All Away by Puddle of Mudd and Candy Rain by Soul Rebel

Sarcasm vibe/voice: Don't Kill Yourself, You're Too Sexy by salior mel

Annoyed tone: Suffocate by Cold and Heavy by Theory of a Deadman

Hollis: On the higher side but it's got a sway/waver to it. I'd argue it can be very melodic. It has some range to it but usually just higher not necessarily deeper. When she's more serious it will mellow out and her speed will usually slow down. You can definitely hear the hurt in her voice because the pitch usually remains in the same range so sudden changes (dips or highs) is usually pretty indicative of how she's feeling.

Normal Voice: Indigo De Souza

Serious tone/voice: Wasting Your Time by Indigo De Souza and Fireman by Frankie Cosmos

Sarcastic/Smartass tone: Doritos & Fritos by 100gecs and sex money feelings die by Lykke Li

#I have a hella amount of songs in this post #So I won't put a shit ton of links in for all of the songs #writeblr #character stuff #long post #my bad y'all

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roxckede · 9 months

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What would the Nanba Guards do if they had a day off?

Hajime/Samon/Kenshirou/Kiji/Momoko/Mitsuru

🦍HAJIME SUGOROKU👊🏻

•Paperwork,Paperwork,Paperwork •First of all, how did ANYONE get him to take a day off??!! -Could not sit still •Probably does something like go to a cute cafe with Hitoshi -if anyone from Nanba spots him, he would die of embarrassment -Literally chokes them to make sure they don’t tell a SOUL. •If he was to watch a movie/series, it would be some crime/Mystery solving one -somehow guesses the whole mystery of who did it and how correctly -definitely didn’t spend 30 minutes working it out on the back of old paperwork

🐒SAMON GOKUU👊🏻

•Training most of the time I bet •I feel like he's the type of person to just sit on a hill or rock and just listen to calming music -probably has a whole playlist for calm music -Thinks about Enki a lot in this time •Also has a training playlist •Doesn’t really talk to anyone -he just likes being alone with his thoughts •if he was to watch a movie/series he would watch a horror movie as he thinks he is brave enough and get so fuxking scared out of his mind -he isn’t sleeping that night •I STRONGLY believe 100% he has a “I am Kenough” fleece hoodie that he wears at home all the time -definitely wore pink to watch the barbie Movie

🐶KENSHIROU YOZAKURA🌸

•He attends to the dog guards e.g. takes them for walks, feeds them e.c.t. -I believe he takes them home with him <3 •He is on a walk with one of the dogs and he runs into the Warden/Momoko and gets so red and sweaty that he runs of and regrets it almost right after -Momoko is like “what..?🤔😳” •I headcannon that he is actually a really good baker (idk why) but he never gets time to bake at nanba so spends some time making cookies or cupcakes -eats some but saves some to give to the Warden -Mitsuru eats them before the Warden even gets a glance of them •if he was to watch a movie/series he would watch a cheesy romance film -he is definitely a hopeless romantic 💕

🦚Kiji Mitsuba💋

•He spends a whole day doing pampering and skincare •definitely has a beauty social media account with lots of followers so he spends everyday posting new makeup looks and skincare products -probably has like 700k followers -probs more •Goes to aesthetic cafes/places to take photos -doesn’t buy food to eat, but to take 20 millions pictures of for Instagram -If he with someone he will make them take a photo with him or something every 10 seconds •If he was to watch a movie/series he would watch a Reality tv show like love island or smth because yknow he LOVES the drama!!

🍑MOMOKO HYAKUSHIKI😈

(The emojis stand for Peach demon dont get the wrong idea 😭😭) •I feel like she could not sit still like Hajime -I mean, she is always such a busy woman that a break is so different for her •Goes out to hang out with Kiji or Mitsuru -shes a victim of kiji’s “photo shoots” •Thinking and stalking Hajime on social media -goes to places he has put on his story (or what Hitoshi put on his story cus I don’t believe that he is really into social media and stuff) to see him “accidentally” •Tries to bake/cook but fails and ends up making it heavy/rock hard like on the valentines chapter in the manga -how she does it we will never know •if she was to watch a movie/show she would watch a cheesy comedy or romance -definitely into cheesy movies

🎤MITSURU HITOKOE📢

•Spends most his time playing video games -has a gaming channel •Hangs out with the Warden a lot and tries so hard to get her to go to a club/party with him -She refuses but gives in eventually •he is the one that spots Hajime at the cute cafe -sends the Warden the photo 101% •goes to watch the barbie film with Samon+Momoko+kiji -says he kins barbie cus he is so ✨fabulous✨ -Gets on his knees to the Warden just saying “SORRY WOMEN SORRYYYYY” •If he was to watch a movie/series he would watch a adult comedy like sausage party or something like that -he laughs even at the word penis or something like that because he’s so childish

WOW this took me forever but it was worth it bc I absolutely love Nanbaka. I have more ideas coming so just you wait! Requests are open :)

#nanbaka #nanbaka hajime #nanbaka samon #nanbaka Kenshirou #Nanbaka Kiji #Nanbaka Momoko #Nanbaka Warden #Nanbaka Mitsuru #nanbaka the numbers #nanbaka idiots with numbers #nanbaka headcanons #Nanbaka headcannons

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ambrossart · 3 months

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One of my favorite songs of all time is I Bet on Losing Dogs by Mitski, which I requested a long time ago for Paper Men’s playlist because it reminds me so much of Evelyn and Henry (thank you for adding btw!). But I’ve been listening to it again and Paper Men has been on my mind constantly and I just wanted to share why it reminded me of them. The song, in my interpretation, is a metaphor for placing hopes and expectations in relationships that are doomed to fail or with people too damaged to love one back the way they want/need. The way I’ve come to see it, Evelyn (like Mitski) seems to know that it will inevitably end badly, but consciously pursues it anyways. She wants them to let her keep believing they’re going to work out or they’ll love her back one day. It’s sad and beautiful and relatable. I feel like this could also apply to Evelyn and Victor (who I hope are endgame despite my Patrick obsession). Again, this is simply my interpretation and I’ve been reading Paper Men while this song plays on a loop lol. Thank you for creating such a beautiful story, I’m excited for chapter 31!

Omg I've been listening to that song while writing this chapter, particularly the Evelyn-Henry scenes (I'm reworking a few of Henry's scenes to better set up what I have planned for Mr. Hockstetter).

I absolutely love this song and I completely agree with your interpretation and how it applies to Evelyn and Henry's relationship. She's so emotionally invested in him and his struggle. She's willing to stand by his side through everything, even the ugliest things. She lets him dump all of his emotional baggage on her. She lets him use her as his punching bag whenever he's angry (and, of course, I mean this figuratively, not literally; Henry wasn't physically abusing her). She puts herself through so much for him because she loves him and wants better for him and hopes with all her heart that one day things will get better. And I think this is the first time she's seeing how hopeless this all is and how much she's hurting herself by staying in this relationship.

Even with everything that's happened, she still doesn't want to let him go. In fact, she's probably searching for any reason not to.

It's a lot different than her relationship with Victor (even though I agree the song could apply to him as well). She had an easier time separating from him romantically because Vic never let her get that close to him. He would be kind to her occasionally, but he was always very good at keeping his distance. Because of that, Evelyn's feelings never evolved past the puppy love/childhood crush stage. She still cares about him as a friend, but... Vic made her wait too long.

#answered asks #thanks for the ask!#bowers gang #henry bowers #victor criss #it stephen king #it movie #it 2017 #it fanfiction #paper men #ambrossart

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ageofbajabule · 1 year

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Dear Patience | Part Three

Jake Kiszka x F! Reader x Sam Kiszka (no creepy disgusting shit)

Warnings: 18+ NO MINORS!! Angst, some violence (nothing crazy), alcohol consumption, fluff, oral sex (f! receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it)

Word Count: 5.1k

Summary: A LOT HAPPENS. Love, hate, passion.

Author’s Note: I apologize in advance for the time jump and if things seem a little wild… :) BARE WITH ME. This is getting exciting as much for you as it is for me. I really enjoyed writing this chapter for y’all. Stay tuned for more❤️

Dear Patience Masterlist

General Masterlist

Apple Music Playlist

Spotify Playlist

You woke up in your own bed, not sure of how you got yourself home last night. But you did. You had a pounding migraine, and crawled out of bed you got yourself some ibuprofen and started up a bath. You looked at yourself in the mirror of the bathroom, makeup smeared and still wearing the dress from last night.

You stripped yourself of the clothes you were wearing, seeing the small pink marks left behind from last night. Running your fingers over them, giggling to yourself having flashbacks of last night's events.

The moments shared with Jake were thrilling but also painful at the same time. How could he be so good, but bad at the same time. You don’t deserve how he treats you, and he sure as hell doesn’t deserve you… But you felt that there was possibly a way that he could change.

And then you remembered, Josh and you had shared a kiss. ‘Oh no. What have I done…’ You got into the bath scrubbing your body clean from last night. ‘I fucked up big time…’ You sighed, sitting in the tub. You heard your phone go off, reaching over to grab it. It was a text from Josh.

Joshy: Hey, when you get a chance can we meet up and talk?

You felt your heart drop. Could’ve sworn it fell out of your ass.

You: Of course, where did you want to meet?

Joshy: Meet me at Crystal’s Cafe? I’ll buy you coffee. :)

You: I’ll meet you there in 30?

Joshy: Sounds good.

You put your phone down, finish cleaning your hair then get out drying off. You decided to just comb your hair then put it into french braids to let it dry and take it out later. You put makeup over the marks left behind by Jake. You opted to be comfy and wore leggings, with a t-shirt and a zip up jacket. Slipping your vans on, you grabbed your keys heading out to meet Josh.

Surely he was going to talk about last night. What else could it be about? You felt your nerves getting the best of you and decided to just brush it off. You can’t stress yourself out when you don’t know what it’ll be about.

On your drive over all you could think about is what Sam would have to say about all of it. Would he be mad at you? Would he be upset or concerned? All you knew is that you have to figure this all out so you wouldn’t potentially ruin the friendships you have. You finally pulled up to the cafe parking in front of it. Getting out of your car, you walk into the place meeting Josh.

“Hey Josh.” You smiled at him, going in for a hug. “Hey Y/N.” He smiled, engulfing you into the hug. “Thank you for coming. It means a lot.” He broke from the hug afterwards. “Of course. Besides free coffee.” You giggled, walking to the line to order. You ordered your usual, a macchiato latte, while Josh opted for tea. The two of you then sat down at a table near a window.

“So…” You looked at him taking a sip of your latte. He nodded, putting his hands together. “About last night… I’m sorry. I was drunk and… Well you know how I am. A hopeless romantic.” He chuckled to himself, scratching the back of his head. “It’s okay Josh, I understand we all do things sometimes we don’t really mean to do when we’re drunk.” You giggled reassuring him. “Um about that. I did mean it, but I didn’t want to upset Sam, so we need to be sure not to tell him.” You almost choked on your drink, “Oh um. Yeah, I won’t say anything to him. But quick question, does Sam like me?” You looked at Josh.

“Y/N… Sam has loved you since middle school, he still goes on and on about you.” He chuckled while taking a sip from his tea. You felt your heart drop again. Oh no. Now this is just messier than before, you slept with your best friend's brother, and kissed his other brother!

“Oh wow. I guess I never really paid attention…” You felt your cheeks get hot. “I think Sam was going to say something today, or soon. That’s why he was all excited to tell you about the new album.” You bit your lip, “I think you should talk to Sam, and figure things out.” Josh smiled at you reassuringly. You nodded, “You’re right. If I don’t talk to him now, who knows when this will come out.” You giggled.

Josh and you had just continued to talk about the upcoming album finishing up your drinks. Sam had texted you to come over to his apartment, “Hey. That was him, I should get going.” You smiled, “But I really appreciate you telling me this Josh. You’re a great guy, and you’ll find someone who truly feels the same way about you.” You stood up as he did, before hugging him you kissed his cheek then went your separate ways.

You felt butterflies in your stomach on the drive to Sam’s. It never once crossed your mind that Sam had these feelings. The drive felt like forever to get to Sam’s, but surely enough you arrived. You parked your car, getting out nervously walking into the complex you knocked on his door. Within seconds he opened the door with a big smile on his face. “Hey bug! Come in.” He motioned you to come in, you smiled, placing your keys and purse on the counter. “So, what did you want me over for?” You walked into the living room, sitting on the couch.

Sam followed behind you sitting beside you. “This has been on my mind for a while… And I don’t know why I waited this long…” He grabbed your hand running his thumb over it. “Y/N, I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you for a long time.” He started to get nervous, “And I completely understand if you don’t feel the same way. I just don’t want this to ruin our friendship.” He looked up at you, “Sam. I love you too…” You intertwined your hands. “I guess I just kept denying feelings, I was worried about what would happen with our friendship…” You looked down, then Sam lifted your chin up. “I don’t think we could ever ruin our friendship bug…”

You smiled softly, he pulled your face close to his kissing your lips softly. You kissed him back, placing your hand on his cheek. Sam then pulled away, “So… this is official then?” He chuckled, you nodded. “This is official.” You giggled pulling him in for another kiss.

Sorry in advance for the time jump.

10 Months Later

You and Sam had been dating now for almost a year, it was nearly Christmas. The both of you had been inseparable ever since you confessed your feelings to one another. You had spent a lot of time with Sam in fact he had moved into your apartment. Danny was upset, but happy for the both of you.

Often times you spent with Sam was at the studio since they were working on the newer album. Everything was great. Their talent was really shining through. Especially Jake… You often thought of him, and you felt wrong for it being you were with Sam. But you couldn’t help it, there were things Jake did differently than Sam did. They were the complete opposites of one another.

“Y/N! Are you ready? I don’t want to make my mom pissed…” Sam yelled in the apartment you two shared. You had finished getting changed, “Yeah! I’ll be out there in a minute.” Tonight was the family Christmas party at Kelly and Karen’s house. You finished the last touches to your hair and sprayed some perfume on. Grabbing your phone and slipping your heels on. “I’m ready.” You smiled, kissing Sam on the cheek. Sam rushed you out of the apartment, opening the door to his car to let you get in first.

The both of you didn’t live very far from where the boys grew up. In fact you only lived 5 minutes away. Sam wanted to remain close to where his parents lived. You were nervous about tonight, you hadn’t really seen Jake outside of the studio. Jake and you had kept your distance ever since that night together…

Nothing was ever brought up of it, so you were sure to believe he probably had no recollection of that evening. Once Sam had pulled into the driveway he got out of the car, letting you out as well. You both walked up to the front door, entering the home immediately greeted by Karen. “Oh you’re here!” She smiled, pulling you both in for a hug. “Sorry if we were running late, I was taking a bit.” Karen shook her head smiling, “It’s okay dear! Jake hasn’t even gotten here yet.” She helped hang your coats on the coat rack. “Just help yourself to some drinks until he shows up.” She smiled, you nodded.

Jake was going to be here tonight… You’re hopeful that the two of you could not be around one another. But that wouldn’t be the case. You made your way to the kitchen to grab a drink, and eat some crackers and cheese. You were greeted by Ronnie. “Hey!” You smiled pulling her into a hug, “How’s Hawaii been?” “It’s been great! It’s so beautiful there… How have things been for you and Sam?” She smiled softly, “Things have been going well!”

Ronnie and you talked for a good hour catching up on things and filling her in on all the silly things Sam has gotten into. Then you heard Karen yell all excitedly seeing Jake appear in the living room. You looked up trying to avoid eye contact, but Jake’s eyes wandered to find yours. You put your head down playing it off that you weren’t looking, but if anyone could see they would know you definitely were. “I was starting to worry that you got snowed in…” Karen hugged Jake tightly, “No mom, just some asshole driver taking their sweet old time…” He hugged her back, giving a tight squeeze before letting go.

Sam then made his way to hug his brother, giving each other a pat on the back. Ronnie and Josh attacked Jake with a hug jokingly beating him up, as Sam made his way to the kitchen to grab a drink. Jake then made his way over to you, you stood up from the couch hugging him but not too tight to make things awkward. “Nice to see you darlin…” He whispered so that only you could hear the nickname. It sent chills down your spine, “Nice to see you too Jake.” You kept it short, and departed from the hug.

You shook off the interaction and went to join everyone at the dining table helping Karen bring out the dishes of food. “Thank you so much for helping.” She grabbed your hand with hers and rubbed it. “Of course! What kind of person would I be if I didn't?” You smiled and followed her to the dining room setting the food down.

You sat down beside Sam, leaving an empty spot beside you. Jake had come into the room sitting beside you, he smiled softly at you before taking a sip of his beer. You felt your cheeks get hot, and took a sip of your wine. Sam noticed you were tense and grabbed your hand running his thumb across it softly. You turned to look at him smiling softly.

Dinner went rather smoothly, Sam had helped Karen clean the table up while Ronnie and Kelly brought dessert to the table. You were having a conversation with Josh, talking about how he was going to get a perm soon since he was overdue for one. While you were talking to Josh, Jake moved his hand to your thigh running it up and down slowly. It made you jump a little, but you played it off that you were just chilly and swatted his hand away. But he just squeezed your leg a little bit.

You smiled softly, keeping a conversation with Josh as everyone returned to sit down for dessert. You grabbed a slice of cheesecake while everyone else grabbed something that caught their own eye. Karen had left the room to grab whatever it may be, and returned shortly after with small gifts. “I know Christmas is soon, but these gifts I couldn’t hold onto any longer…” She giggled softly, handing everyone their own gifts.

You opened yours revealing a nice pair of earrings and a necklace to match it. “Oh Karen, these are beautiful!” You smiled immediately putting them on. Ronnie had received a new laptop, Josh received a new camera for filming while they tour. Jake was given new strings for his guitar and Sam had received a gift for a skiing trip.

“Mom, this is only for one person…” Sam looked up at Karen. “I know dear. This trip is for you and Danny. His parents got him this as well.” She smiled softly, Sam looked sad. “It’s alright Sammy, it’ll be a fun trip for the two of you. Besides, I'm horrible at skiing.” You giggled softly, kissing his cheek. “But…” “Sam, no arguments. It’s a nice gesture from your parents.” He nodded, and got up to hug the both of them tightly. “Thank you.” He smiled leaving the room to call Danny.

“I know he needs some guy time, he’s always up your ass. And I figure you needed a week off.” Karen smiled, hugging you laughing softly. “He’ll enjoy it, and I will enjoy my time away as well.” You laughed with her.

You excused yourself to use the bathroom. You went upstairs to use the restroom in case anyone wanted to use the one on the main floor. You finished up fixing your hair, exiting the bathroom you bumped into Jake. “Oh, I'm sorry.” You look at him, “It’s alright darlin.” “Jake, enough with the nickname…” You looked up at him. “I just want you to know that, I’d keep an eye out for Sammy…” Jake looked at you, you gave him a weird look. “What exactly are you implying?” You crossed your arms, “Sammy tends to do things he shouldn’t when he’s away from home.” You laughed softly, “Sam would never hurt me, if that’s what you’re trying to imply.” Jake shrugged, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you…” You pushed past Jake walking downstairs.

What was that all about? Jake is probably just jealous that Sam is with you, and he isn’t. He’s trying to play these games, but you’re not partaking in it. Or was Jake actually looking out for you? No. It can’t possibly, Jake never looked out for you before, why would he now?

“Are you ready to head home Sam?” You smiled, grabbing your coat. He nodded, “Yeah.” You grabbed his coat as well, saying your goodbyes to everyone before leaving. Jake looked at you, his burning right through you as you left the house.

1 Month Later

Sam had decided to take his Ski trip after the new year with Danny, so that he could spend every minute of the holiday season with you. You had been thinking about what Jake had said that night at their parents house. Would Sam actually do something to hurt you? He wouldn’t cheat would he?

Why are you freaking out, when you felt guilty for the fact you slept with Jake the night before getting together with Sam. Jake is just trying to get under your skin, he isn’t trying to be the good guy. Why else would he get involved?

It had been a couple days that Sam left for his trip with Danny. They both talked to you everyday, keeping you up to date with their daily activities. That was until the final night at the Ski lodge he was staying at. It was 2 in the morning, your phone was ringing. Danny was calling you, why is he calling at 2 in the morning?

“Hello?” Your voice was groggy, “Y/N…” You sat up from your bed. “What’s wrong Danny?” “It’s Sam… I had to tell you, he begged me not to. But I can’t keep this from you, my best friend.” “Danny just spit it out.” You felt your heart racing, “Sam cheated on you…” That’s when your heart sank. “S-sam did what now..?” Your voice cracked as tears started to fill your eyes. “I’m so sorry Y/N, this isn’t how I wanted you to find out. But you needed to know. I know he’s going to be mad at me for this, but you don’t deserve to be lied to.” Danny sighed on the other end of the phone.

The tears started to roll down your face, “Danny can I call you in the morning? I need to clear my head…” You could hear Danny shuffling, “If you need anything, and I mean anything. Please just let me know…” “Thank you Danny… I will. Um just tell Sam not to contact me. I don’t really want him to bother me.” You started to break down, “I love you Danny, i’ll see you when you get home.” Danny said his goodbye to you and you hung up.

So Jake was right… He wasn’t trying anything. And you just tried to brush it off thinking Sam was better than that. And you were just proven wrong. You got up from your bed and started packing Sam’s belongings. You didn’t want to hear anything from him at all. No excuses, no explanations, nothing.

The next few days you remained in your apartment, Danny had come to check in on you. Bringing you food, keeping you company. He even helped Sam move his stuff back into their shared apartment. “Y/N… You have to get out of this place. It’s not good for you to be all cooped up.” Danny sat down next to you handing you a coffee. “Danny, I just… I feel embarrassed. Like why would he do that?” You sniffled, as Danny wrapped his arm around you pulling you close to him. “I don’t know… I would’ve never expected that from him. Especially for how much he went on about you over the years we’ve been friends.”

You hugged Danny tightly. “I’m gonna take a shower. And go out to the bar tonight. Will you come with me?” You smiled at him. “Of course. Do you want me to pick you up?” He got up from the couch, “Yes please. I’ll let you know when I’m ready.” You smiled, hugging him tightly. “Thank you for being here, I really appreciate it.” “Of course, that’s what best friends are for.” He chuckled softly, leaving your apartment.

That’s when you headed to the bathroom to start the shower. Sam had tried texting you to talk to you, but you just ignored him. You weren’t ready to talk with him yet, and you sure as hell didn’t want to see him either. After your shower, you blew dried your hair and did your makeup lightly. And changed into a semi casual outfit. Perfect for a night out drinking. You texted Danny letting him know you were ready to hit the bars.

Within 15 minutes he arrived, honking the horn to let you know he was outside. Before stepping out you put a jacket on and grabbed your purse and headed out the door. You got into his car, and he drove off to the first dive bar of the night. “Thank you again Danny.” You smiled at him, “Any time!” He smiled back at you.

The first bar you arrived too was busy, but it was expected considering it was a Saturday night. Danny and you had a couple drinks there, then walked down the block to the next.

You were both out on the town for the remainder of the night, then made your final stop at a bar across the street from where he initially parked. You saw Sam’s vehicle outside, along with Jake’s. You felt a knot form in your stomach, but you just sucked it up and went inside with Danny. As soon as you walked in, Sam’s head snapped towards you because of the bell indicating you had entered.

You immediately made your way to the bar ordering a drink for yourself and Danny. You could feel his eyes lingering on you, and you just ignored him. “Are you alright… I didn’t know Sam was going to be here.” Danny was beside you, “It’s okay. I’m gonna have to face him sooner or later…” You smiled and took the shots you had ordered for both you and Danny, then grabbed your beer before heading off to play pool with Danny.

The evening was going by fine, until a drunken Sam came up to you. “Bug… J-just hear me out.” He slurred his words, “Sam. No, you’re drunk and this is not the place to discuss this.” You tried to walk away, that was until Sam grabbed your wrist yanking on it. “Sam let go, you’re hurting me…” You whined as he gripped tighter trying to pull you closer. “No… Y-you n-need to hear what I h-have to say.” “Jesus, Sam! Just let go!” You yelled, then Jake ran over pushing Sam back.

“What the fuck Jake!” Sam yelled at him, “She said to let her go, you think I’m going to let that shit slide?” He spat back at him, “Why do you care? You don’t even fucking like the slut anyways?” Sam spat back, you felt the tears build up in your eyes. “You know what Sam, just don’t even bother to ever talk to me… Forget I ever existed.” You felt the tears stain your cheeks, you ran out of the bar sitting on a bench out front.

You started to wipe your tears away, then hearing feet walking your way. You look up and to your surprise it was Jake. “Are you here to slut shame me too?” You felt more tears, “No, actually I was going to ask if you wanted a ride home…” Jake sat down next to you. You sat upright fixing yourself, “I’d really appreciate it…” You made a half smile. Jake put his hand out, getting up from the bench. You took his hand and got up following him to his Jeep.

He opened the passenger door for you allowing you to get in then closed the door after you buckled yourself in. He came around to the other side to get in and start the car up, he turned the heat on and the heated seats for you to warm up. Jake let you pick the music for the trip home. You opted for ABBA. Playing Knowing Me, Knowing You. A depressing song to say the least, but Jake didn’t judge as you were going through it… Sam broke your heart, and it hurt like hell.

After a 10 minute drive you made it back to your apartment. Jake parked and got out of the Jeep walking over to your side to help you out, he then walked up to your apartment with you. Making sure you got in, as you unlocked the door you turned towards Jake. “Thank you… Do you want to come in, I can get you some water.” You smiled softly, he smiled back. “Sure.” He followed right behind closing the door as he came in.

Going into the kitchen you grabbed two glasses and filled them with water from the fridge walking back out to your living area handing him a glass as you sat on your couch. “Thank you Jake, for being so kind to bring me home…” You sipped on your water, placing it on the table. You pulled a blanket over your lap. “I couldn’t just leave you there… Although you should probably let Danny know you got home safely.” He chuckled softly sipping on his water. Your eyes went wide, “Oh my god! I completely forgot. He’s probably worried sick.”

You immediately texted Danny.

You: I’m so sorry Danny! I forgot to text you, Jake gave me a ride home.

Danny: It’s alright. I’m just glad you got home safely, had me worried you got abducted.

You: I think they would get annoyed with me, if someone tried to abduct me. xD

Danny: Well I’m driving Sam back to our apartment, I’m sorry that he said that to you. He’s an asshole when he’s drunk. I’ll talk to you soon. :) Goodnight

You: Goodnight :)

“Got that taken care of.” You giggled softly finishing your glass of water. “Good, I didn’t want a search party out for you.” Jake laughed softly, “Jake, will you stay the night…” You rested your head on his shoulder. “Are you scared?” He looked down at you, you shook your head no. “I just want company is all…” You sighed, and got up. “I’ll get you a pillow.” You smiled, handing him the blanket you were using, then grabbed a pillow from your bed.

“Here, so you can be at least somewhat comfortable.” You giggled softly, “Goodnight Jake.” You smiled, he laid down and smiled. “Goodnight darlin.” You turned on your heels blushing, walking to your room getting into bed.

An hour passed and you couldn’t fall asleep. So you got up, and walked out to the living room in your t-shirt and underwear. “J-jake… Are you awake?” You whispered, you heard him shuffle from the couch. “Yeah… Can’t sleep?” You walked over to face him, “Yeah. Can you?” You smiled, “No, I haven’t been able to fall asleep. Do you want to join me?” You rubbed your arm. “Are you sure?” He asked you hesitantly, and you nodded. “Yes, I'm sure Jake.” You smiled softly, heading back to your room with him. You crawled into bed, Jake crawling in on the other side.

You laid next to him, cuddling into his side. “Thank you.” You whispered, Jake snaked his arm around you. “Anytime darlin…” He kissed your forehead. You then looked up at Jake kissing his lips softly. Cupping his cheek with your hand, as his hands moved down to your hips pulling you close. He placed one hand on your neck kissing your lips back softly.

Jake then pulled on top of him, moving his hands back to your waist. You giggled against his lips, pulling him closer to you. You began unbuttoning the rest of his shirt, you started kissing his neck and biting softly leaving behind marks. “Y/N…” You pulled away slowly, “Yeah?” You looked down at him, “Are you sure you want to do this?” “Jake, just fuck me.” You smiled softly at him, pulling him closer to your body. He smiled and removed your t-shirt revealing your breasts to him.

“You’re so beautiful Y/N…” He placed his hands on your breasts, massaging the one while with his other hand he pinched your nipple playing with it teasingly. You tilted your head back moaning, Jake took your nipple into his mouth sucking and flicking his tongue against the bud. “Oh, Jake…” He played with your nipple with his teeth tugging softly, making you grab his hair tugging slightly.

He then flipped you over so he was on top now. He kissed down your chest, leaving marks as he went further down. He kissed above your waistband to your panties, removing them slowly. He kissed your inner thigh, leaving a purple mark there and inched closer to your core. He ran his fingers across your slick licking his fingers, “So wet for me baby…” He chuckled softly, before kissing your clit then. He sucked and lapped at your sensitive clit. You groaned, fingers gripping the sheets under you as his tongue moved lower, slipping into your entrance.

“Jake…” Your eyes rolled back as you felt your core tightening. He slipped his fingers into you, pumping them slowly as he kept overlapping his tongue against your clit. “So sweet princess…” He growled against your core. He pressed a kiss to your clit as he pumped and curled his fingers. His mouth and fingers working you together had you quickly approaching your orgasm. “Jake… please…” You cried out, “I know darlin, you’re right there. Cum for me…” He kept licking your bud as he curled his fingers. You couldn’t wait any longer and finally released, your leg’s trembling beneath you. “Fuck…”

Jake pulled away licking his fingers, then removed his pants and briefs tossing them to the side. He positioned himself at your entrance, collecting your slick with the tip of his cock. Before entering into you slowly, you gasped at how big he was feeling him stretch you out. Then he bottomed out, starting to slowly pick up the pace. He kept it steady and loving. You wrapped your arms around his back and he had both hands beside you. “Oh Jake…” You moaned out his name, he placed kisses on your lips, then your neck and chest. “Y/N… You feel amazing…” He groaned out, pulling out slowly then going back in.

He kept moving like that for a little bit, until you flipped him over. Now making you on top, you placed your hands on his chest as he met your waist. You began to rock your hips back and forth, bouncing on his dick. He muttered out lewd noises, as you did the same. He started to thrust up into you, holding your hips tightly that his fingers dug into your hips. “Fuck.” You moaned out, starting to bounce more. “Come on baby…” He moaned out, as he sat up pulling you close to his chest.

You could feel your core tightening again, and started to see white. “Oh Jake, I’m gonna cum again…” You cried out, holding onto him as you kept riding him. “Me too darlin, i’m almost there. Just a bit more.” He kissed your breasts, licking and playing with your nipples. Sending you into overdrive, crying out his name made him start thrusting into you faster. Your second orgasm hit as he changed the pace, you could feel him start to twitch. “Cum inside me Jakey… I want to feel you…” You tilted your head back, trying to keep up with his pace as you were overstimulated.

Jake made a couple more thrusts and then he released into you. Coating the insides of you, “Fuck…” He groaned, placing his head in the crook of your neck. “I love you…” He whispered to you, you were stunned for a moment. “I love you too…” You felt tears forming, happy ones. Jake then looked at you, pulling your face close to his kissing your lips softly.

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