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thefuchsianeko · 2 years

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never posted these here i guess. well

a while ago something compelled me to do edits with my redesign of Alastor (I WOULD link back to my original post with the redesigns, but it’s old and ugly so...)

got really into it I think

too lazy to write it all out again so I’m just gonna copy-paste what I wrote about them from Instagram... so under the cut will be the original screenshots, as well as some design notes and stuff

I sketched a couple of other characters but I mostly did Alastor... also those are the only ones I actually finished lol. I'm most interested in his redesign than the others.

tl;dr -- I tried simplifying his design while also making it more period-accurate (he died in the '20s apparently), as well as giving him details and a colour design that I think would help him stand out amongst the other characters (tho I did nothing else to edit these but if I was in charge of design a lot of colours in the environment would be changed to help characters stand out from the bg). I also kept some of his deer-traits (the ear-tufts and antlers specifically) bc idk i like deer whatever. (also if these edits are inconsistent idc if the pilot won't be consistent then neither will i)

I don't think it's a secret that I kinda don't like Hazbin Hotel that much... I mean I'm interested in seeing where it goes but the pilot itself very flawed. ANYWAY hehehh... I fucking hate Alastor's design but at this point I kinda love hating him (for reasons unintended by the creators). His design is ANNOYING AS SHIT and he comes off as try-hard so I can't take him seriously. Some design notes... So he supposedly died in the '20s but like, his outfit looks like it'd be from a lot earlier? Annoys the shit outta me but anyway I just gave him a simple suit (after skimming one of my books about '20s and '30s fashion I saw a lot of that) along with some coattails for a cooler silhouette. Almost gave him a regular tie too but I kinda like the upside-down cross thing he has goin' on (a symbol often mistakenly attributed to satanism but whatever looks neat). Cleaned up his hair, kept the ear-tuft-things for the deer-look but also I kinda like how the ears blend into the hair (here it should be assumed they're ears at least). Made his antlers bigger so you can uh ACTUALLY SEE THEM. Muted his colour scheme to help go with the '20s theme and make him stand out against allllll the fkin red, and gave him flat teeth instead of sharp teeth. I think it’d be cool if everyone else in Hell had sharp teeth except this fuckin’ guy… it’d stand out. Didn’t change his radio-staff much but I’d probably make it look more like a mic from the ‘20s. Also I changed his nose bc I want more variety and I hate his goddamn button-nose like wtf.

Oh also, his story's kinda different; in my rewrite Alastor has become a kind of a recluse for years after finishing his last big radio-show (the one that Vaggie exposition-dumps to Angel Dust in the pilot) because he’s having trouble trying to figure out what his next show will be (basically he has art-block lol). He wants it to top (or at least equal) the quality of his last show. When he hears about Charlie’s project from her news interview, her passion and belief in the hotel ignites new inspiration in him (plus the idea of the hotel is insane to him and whether it succeeds or not it’d make a great show). He goes to the hotel in the hope to make a deal so he can cover the story as it unravels. Also he doesn't show off his power that much, if anything it's all only sprinkled in and/or hinted to. He can be pretty friendly but people feel uneasy around him bc 1) he just has that kind of aura and 2) people try not to make him upset in fear of being ripped apart.

Idk if any of this doesn't make sense you can ask about it and I'll try to explain better.... maybe idk i hate words

btw don't be surprised if I make more stuff for this later on bc I kinda love him and have been thinking about a rewrite of the pilot (this is all for fun, of course. If you like the show that's great and I can see how others would like it, there's just details about it that bug me specifically).

#screenshot edit #screencap edit #hazbin hotel #redesign #alastor #character design #veez art

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ihateeveryoneincludingmyself · 3 years

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i don’t think anyone I know irl has my tumblr so I’m just gonna vent here.

so in May I met this girl on tinder, and we hit it off super fast and we talked nonstop it was honestly pretty overwhelming because I didn’t remember what it was like to have someone into me. she was trying to move very quickly and I’m very emotionally unavailable so I didn’t want to get into a relationship with her.

we remained friends. super good friends. she even considered me her best friend which I didn’t even know she felt that strongly until we started to fight. thought I was just some dude she talked to when she wasn’t hanging out with her irl friends.

our first fight happened when I realized how deeply she’s into the awful college student drinking partying culture. to be clear because this is something she doesn’t fucking understand, I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH DRINKING! I DRINK, EVERYBODY I KNOW DRINKS!! but every week sometimes multiple times a week she would drunk text me random stupid shit like she couldn’t even spell properly and like she doesn’t remember shit in the morning you know like, actually fucking drunk. i can’t stand how people think that’s normal or okay. if you can’t control your drinking then don’t drink. if you can control, then have a couple drinks! enjoy yourself! BUT THERES A POINT WHERE YOU ARE DESTROYING YOURSELF. okay so here’s why I’m extra sensitive about this topic. my parents were alcoholics. also did heroin n shit but yeah I wasn’t allowed to live with them. and every time I see someone fucking wasted, it reminds me of them. i remember my grandpa taking me to restaurants to visit my parents and by the time we finished eating they were drunk. couldn’t even talk to them as a little kid. I lost my childhood due to alcoholism. i know this girl is just a college student partying blah blah blah but it can lead to worse and like.... seriously who the fuck wants to talk to someone who can’t even produce sentences? when you’re that intoxicated it’s simply not healthy even if I didn’t have trauma related to alcohol I would probably still be concerned. anyways, I progressively got more angry with her. i said a lot of things I shouldn’t have . i tore her apart in response to my anger. i hate myself for the way I treated her, but GUESS WHAT? she still doesn’t listen to me. still regularly getting wasted and it fucjing pisses me off because she goes around telling people that I don’t let her DRINK. LIKE SHES MISSING THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT!! IM GOING TO COPY AND PASTE EXACTLY WHAT I SAID BEFORE I GOT INTO DETAIL ABOUT THIS: I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH DRINKING! I DRINK, EVERYBODY I KNOW DRINKS!! but every week sometimes multiple times a week she would drunk text me random stupid shit like she couldn’t even spell properly and like she doesn’t remember shit in the morning you know like, actually fucking drunk. i can’t stand how people think that’s normal or okay. if you can’t control your drinking then don’t drink. if you can control, then have a couple drinks! enjoy yourself! BUT THERES A POINT WHERE YOU ARE DESTROYING YOURSELF.

anyways, now as I said she still fucking gets wasted all the time,BUT SHE DOESNT TALK TO ME. but she posts about it on her Instagram story (which I’m blocked from seeing but.... I have my ways🤷🏻), she talks to other people JUST NOT ME. THAT WASNT MY FUCKING INTENTION WITH MY SERIES OF INTERVENTIONS. I WANTED HER TO BECOME MORE RESPONSIBLE WITH ALCOHOL? AND THEN SHE CAN ENJOY A DRINK AND STILL TALK LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING HUMAN BEING. GOD IT MAKES ME SO FUCKING ANGRY TO KNOW THAT SHES STILL BEING WHAT I LIKE TO CALL A GLORIFIED ALCOHOLIC, BUT SHE JUST DOESNT DRUNK TEXT ME ANYMORE.

ooh then another fight.... I was venting to an NOW EX FRIEND FUCK THAT BITCH SHE BOILS MY BLOOD JUST THINKING ABOUT HER of mine ..... AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER GOD I FUCKING HATE HER FOR WHAT SHE DID.... DECIDED TO SNITCH ON ME AND MESSAGE THE GIRL AND TELL HER THAT I WAS VENTING. AND SHE MISINTERPRETED AS ME “TALKING SHIT” WHEN I NEVER EVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT HER IN A NEGATIVE LIGHT. SOME PPL SAID “SHES TOXIC” I ALWAYS FUCKING DEFENDED HER BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH WE WERE FIGHTING I STILL ADORED HER. so yeah that put even more tension on our friendship. AND I DROPPED THE SNITCH GIRL RIGHT AWAY, I WILL NEVER FUCKING FORGIVE HER BECAUSE MY FRIENDSHIP WITH THE GIRL COULDVE BEEN SAVED IF IT WASNT FOR HER. FUCK HER. I FUCKING HATE HER SO MUCH AND NOW THEYRE FRIENDS AND COMMENT ON EACHOTHERS POSTS AND IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH.

anyways, like I mentioned I said a lot of terrible things to her. i was really fucking angry and I said some terrible things which I deeply regret and I tried apologizing and making it up but now already our friendship was messed up.

also, she eventually ended up getting a boyfriend and like, if I said I wasn’t a little jealous I’d be lying but I was the one who rejected her in the first place so 😳😳it’s whatever. but she told her boyfriend everything about me and this guy now hates my guts LOL . ever since she started dating the guy she talked to me less and less.

and during a short period of time when we weren’t fighting I introduced her to a friend of mine and now they talk a lot and she likes him more so YES IM FUCKING JEALOUS AND I FUCKING HATE MYSELF.

but this friend of mine she started talking to leads me to my breaking point. so you know she’s been distant because apparently every time we talk it’s a fight but I’m like BUT WHY?? and this next fight will show exactly how ITS NOT ALL MY FAULT, SHES TO FUCKING BLAME AS WELL!!

so she’s been ignoring me for a couple days after a PETTY FIGHT THAT I FELT WAS LITERALLY NOTHING JUST A SILLY LITTLE FIGHT THAT IDC ABOUT. basically she got mad because I was bullying that friend of mine about his league of legends stats 🤣 literally a fucking video game that she doesn’t like and she’s mad at me for TEASING MY FRIEND.

so I got kinda sad.... like why is she ignoring me??

she eventually responded after I sent her a looong paragraph with some identifying info so I’m not gonna show it. BUT HERES WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT HOW SHE ISNT GONNA TALK TO ME WHILE SHES GETTING DRUNK !!

okay the next screenshot has more identifying details so I’m not gonna share but basically she LIED TO ME SAYING SHE HAD NO SERVICE FOR 3 WHOLE DAYS BLAH BLAH BLAH WHILE I COULD GET PROOF THAT SHE WAS TEXTING MY FRIEND LIKE EVERY CHANCE SHE GOT . HE TOLD ME THEY STILL TALKED AND SHE WAS PURPOSELY IGNORING ME BC IM TOO STRESSFUL FOR WHATEVER. BUT SHE FUCKING LIED ABOUT IT

so basically, here’s how it’s not just my fault . yes, getting angry is my fault I could be a little less harsh. im working on it. BUT THIS GIRL HAS BEEN IGNORING ME FOR DAYS AND THEN LIES TO ME?? COME ON ISNT THAT A VALID REASON TO BE UPSET

anyways this is the last thing I sent her before deactivating my Instagram (I have her number too but we rarely talk on there). but the fact that she said we aren’t friends anymore.... broke my fucking heart. I broke down in tears. I had to stop myself from hurting myself or saying something dumb. so I ended it there.

i tried to hard to fix what we once had. yes, I’m at fault for being a dick and not being able to control my anger. but she’s at some fault for giving me valid reasons to be upset. i tried to hard to fix our friendship. but the more I try the more angry I get. she isn’t going to listen to me. she doesn’t even care about me anymore. it’s over.

ive been pretty suicidal lately. a few months ago I started cutting myself again after years and I hate myself for it. i pushed everybody away. she was the last person I regularly talked to. maybe now I can take a break from the fighting, try to get to a better place mentally, and try to get back in touch with some of my other friends, or make new friends.

idk I’m still very upset but this long ass vent that no one is gonna read helped a lot. this all happened over a few months and today was where I ended it. time to start a new chapter I guess

#vent #i have no friends #im a terrible person

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moonprincessx · 7 years

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92 truths tagging game rules: once you’ve been tagged you’re supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. i was tagged by @triangleankle

last:   [1] drink: agua [2] phone call: mom [3] text message: leslie [4] song you listened to: keep me by khalid [5] time you cried: uh like a few months back?? other [6] dated someone twice: na [7] been cheated on: na [8] kissed someone and regretted it: kinda [9] lost someone special: my hamster, my sister and brothers hamsters and my mom’s dog [10] been depressed: 24/7 365 days [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: i’ve gotten tipsy but never drunk lmao  list 3 favorite colors:   [12] yellow [13] pink [14] green   in the last year have you:  [15] made new friends: not really but i wish i had i want more friends lmao [16] fallen out of love: nope [17] laughed until you cried: yeah [18] found out someone was talking about you: if they did i honestly don’t care [19] met someone who changed you: nope [20] found out who your true friends are: i found that out years ago [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: i deleted my facebook years ago so no  other:   [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: none, don’t have a facebook [23] do you have any pets: yes 5 [24] do you want to change your name: no but i get annoyed with the “haha like angelica from the rugrats” or when the mispronounce it [25] what did you do for your last birthday: ate pizza and hung out at home because i have no friends [26] what time did you wake up: today my fat ass woke up at 11 [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: watching friend trying to fall asleep [28] name something you cannot wait for: um to see harry’s bitch ass in concert [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: like 25 minutes ago when she came to tell me to go to sleep [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: there a lot of things i wish i could change i can’t pick just one [31] what are you listening to right now: 8TEEN by khalid [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: yeah my boss’s husband when he comes through my line to buy stuff he’ll tell me about my boss’s dog [33] something that is getting on your nerves: white people, the “president”, littering, animal testing and a bunch more [34] most visited website: instagram [35] elementary: what about it?? my experience?? it was good [36] high school: same?? um i hated it i wanted to throw myself from the flight of stairs [37] college: don’t go but i wanna [38] hair color: right now it’s brown with faded green but natural it’s black [39] long or short hair: short [40] do you have a crush on someone: na i ain’t got time for that, next [41] what do you like about yourself?: nothing [42] piercings: my stretched ears and second ear piercing [43] blood type: idk [44] nickname: um so like i never tell anyone because i’ve never been asked but my whole life everyone has called me helos [45] relationship status: single [46] zodiac sign: sagittarius [47] pronouns: she/her [48] fav tv show(s): bob’s burgers, unbreakable kimmy, the office, parks and rec and many more [49] tattoos: a moon and tombstone [50] right or left handed: right  first:  [51] surgery: my ears because apparently when i was younger or born my mom said i was like on the verge of being deaf?? idk [52] piercing: ears [53] best friend: cynthia a friend from my childhood [54] sport: none [56] pair of trainers: idk what that isn [57] eating: food [58] drinking: water  other:  [59] i’m about to: go shower [60] listening to: american teen by khalid [61] waiting for: my fat ass to get sleepy so i can knock the fuck out [62] want: to die [63] get married: no thanks miss me what that dumb shit [64] career: i’m very indecisive about this  your type:  [65] hugs or kisses: hugs [66] lips or eyes: both [67] shorter or taller: taller [68] older or younger: older [69] romantic or spontaneous: both [70] nice arms or nice stomach: idc [71] sensitive or loud: loud i’m already the sensitive one we good [72] hook up or relationship: uuuuh?? [73] troublemaker or hesitant: both have you ever:   [74] kissed a stranger?: no [75] drank hard liquor?: na [76] lost glasses/contact lenses?: i lost my glasses when my fat ass was younger and i’ve been blind ever since [77] turned someone down?: na if anything it’ll probably be the other way around lmao i’m ugly [78] sex on first date?: na [79] broken someone’s heart?: nope [80] had your own heart broken?: yeah [81] been arrested? : nope [82] cried when someone died? : i don’t like showing emotion so no [83] fallen for a friend: no  do you believe in:   [84] yourself?: lmao na [85] miracles?: ?? i guess?? [86] love at first sight?: na as cliche as this sound this literally only happens in movies that’s where it’s so romanticized [87] santa claus?: when i was little [88] kiss on the first date?: i guess [89] angels?: i don’t wanna say no because when i say that to my mom she’s like “síguele y vas a ver se va a aparecer ”  other:   [90] current best friend’s name: i don’t have one..?? na lmao it’s leslie ilu bitch i ain’t ever gonna stop loving u, bitch [91] eye colour: brown [92] favourite movies: biiiitch kiki’s delivery service is my shit and so many more lmao i fucking love movies

i forgot to copy and paste the bottom half omfg i hate my dumb ass self but if i’m supposed to tag people i tag @faeves @e-lizards @1chiquita @bluesoupie and whoever wants to do this i’m sorry i suck

#i wish i could talk to more of u but i suck i don't ever know what to say u kno??#ima cry

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