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#I just find it hard to find stuff interesting to post about......
yuurei20 · 21 hours
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Hi! Thank you so much for all your hard work compiling these posts for us! I would like to ask, is there a compilation of information regarding the MC/ Yuu? I'm referring to stuff like where they get their money from or any random details mentioned about themselves/ their home (Eg in the new White rabbit fest we find out that they can play the bugle of all things??) We know things like how their home is modelled off of earth with halloween and football but is there more information about themselves/ their personality? Just curious
Hello hello!! Thank you for this question!
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Concerning the bugle: the prefect's ability to play instruments varies by dialogue option ^^
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The same situation arises in Harveston!
Depending upon which option you go with the prefect can be either an accomplished bugle-player and/or flautist or just as poor at instruments as everybody else, and neither option seems to have any impact on the story ^^
The game-prefect is possibly being kept an empty slate on purpose!
This might actually be easier for EN, where things like personal pronouns (watashi/ore/boku/etc) are all "I" and anata/kimi/omae/etc are all "you," while which you opt to use in Japanese can portray a lot of information about yourself and your relationship to the person with whom you are speaking.
(It is very interesting that you mention football! In the second novel Yuuya asks Crewel if Spelldrive is similar to soccer or football and, while he is familiar with soccer, Crewel says that he has never heard of football before.)
Here is a small compilation of current information that I have!
・"Is it ever shown how the MC refers to other people?" (twitter link)
・Ace and the Prefect (pt1)
・Ace and the Prefect (pt2)
・Has the Perfect ever given gifts?
・Could it be that Idia actually considers the prefect to be a friend?
・Do Leona consider mc/yuu as friend or just a normal classmate?
・Grim and the Prefect
・Crowley and the Prefect
・Is the Prefect really like a counselor for the overblotters?
・How many people know about Yuu is actually from the other world
・I was wondering what yuuya does during the OB battles?
・is there anything in the novels where Yuuya going into a club is brought up?
・Does Crowley give the MC any allowance?
・Does blot not harm Yuya?
・Does novel Leona treat Yuuya differently compared to the game?
・Compilation of Ace/Yuuya (novel) interactions
・when Yuuya arrived in Twisted Wonderland, did he instantly understand the language there?
・With regards to the difference between the game and light novel is Yuuya more prominent in the novel than Yuu in the games
・Reactions to the prefect
・do you have any idea as to why the novel Yuu has severe social anxiety as opposed to the other Yuus?
・...what do you think of the idea that the game's MC is a Will'O the wisps Fae...disguised as a human... (twitter link)
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alright so i’ve been seeing the watcher posts and gathering my thoughts so i’m gonna put all my watcher stuff in one big post under the cut cause it’s gonna get long and i need to get this out of my head.
i will say 99% of the fandom was expecting a fun, exciting, omg can’t wait for it type of announcement and seeing the title and thumb nail for the first time made me really nervous.
also, side note, why on earth would they choose a thumbnail of the three of them sitting on a couch like that with the title “goodbye youtube”?? just the imagery alone makes you think of the try guys and their now infamous video like why would you want that comparison right out the gate before you even say anything?? super weird choice.
then the video is all nostalgic and wistful, clips of steven’s, ryan’s, and shane’s, pre-buzzfeed youtube videos and i’m thinking “did someone die cause this feels like a video obit” none of this calmed my nerves and made me more anxious about what could be coming. and then we all know what happened next, they announce that they’re paywalling everything yada yada yada
and after seeing everyone else’s takes and the general vibe of the fandom being “fuck watcher” it continues to baffle me why they thought this was gonna go over well. because to me it feels like they went from “yay we have our own youtube channel” to “give us your cash we’re a media empire” and missed A LOT of steps in between.
and i dunno maybe watcher did try to change things and tweak their business model and things weren’t getting better but as a fan and someone who watches a lot of different youtubers you kinda see this one coming. like creators drop little crumbs beforehand to gauge how people will take it or they try weird series/shows that have like 3 episodes to see what their audience is more interested in. there are a signs as a fan you can see but i think one of the reasons this went so badly for watcher is because it was so far out of left field. there was never a hint that the youtube model wasn’t working for them.
but again maybe they did try x, y, and z without it working or being transparent about it and if they were trying things why not lean into that to garner compassion from fans? we all know the youtube algorithm sucks and if they had started the video talking about the things they tried and how nothing was working and how much it sucked to leave youtube i think people would’ve understood. then they could’ve had shane talk about how subscriptions suck and there are too many of them and they tried to find another solution but couldn’t. now not only do i have sympathy for what there going through i had my feelings validated. then they could’ve gone into why this is better and what i’m going to get out of it as a consumer.
like it’s not that hard. but instead the vibe i got from them was a real palpable relief that they were leaving youtube which felt like a slap in the face.
and while i don’t agree with the steven bashing at all i do think it’s a little bit funny that they kinda dug themselves into that hole with their end of the year behind the scenes video they put out last fall. they really painted steven as a genius ceo while ryan and shane are just on screen talent. so while i feel for what steven is going through they kinda put themselves in that position.
all of this to say that it doesn’t feel like they hired anyone to field this idea by or do any kind of market research at all and the vibe that i’ve always kinda gotten from watcher is one where they want to jump over the messiness and growing pains of being a new small business and be established. be this huge force a la dropout/college humor without putting in the time to get there. and i do think watcher showed it’s true colors here where they only think of fans as cash cows they can deposit whenever.
and just the arrogance of thinking their fans will follow them to a subscription and trying to spin it as it being the same thing as leaving buzzfeed drives me up the wall. it’s not the same.
anyway i think that’s it. if i think of anything else ill edit this post ✌️
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lorcandidlucienwill · 18 hours
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Hiiii!! First your posts give me life!!! I’m always waiting for the next one because I know you’re going to spit gems and speak facts 💁‍♀️.
I have a question/thought about the mates situation. People keep saying SJM will be exploring the rejected mating bond concept, specifically in Elain’s book….When did she say that? WHERE? From what I’ve seen and read, she did say it was an interesting concept (fate, mating bond vs agency and all that good stuff) but she also said she didn’t know if she would be exploring it in the future, let alone in Elain’s book or the ACOTAR series. So HOW in the world do people take that as a confirmation that she will absolutely do it in Elain’s book? Even the whole “what if the cauldron is wrong” argument. Well maybe she’ll use Elain’s book to demonstrate that in fact the cauldron is never wrong because it actually doesn’t decide anything. This frustrates me to no end.
Anyway, keep slaying Queen 💅!
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My dear Anon, we shall have an Autumn wedding.
This is what SJM said:
“That’s something I find to be very interesting,” she replies. “What if the forces that be put you with the wrong person? Or what if you just decide, eh, I’m not interested. … There’s a lot to explore within the concept of mates and your agency about it. 
“I’m not going to say if I am exploring it in future books or not,” she continues, “but it definitely offers a wealth of things to explore with this concept of freewill and what is true love. Is it something that’s destined? Or is it something that you make? Is it both?”
She did NOT confirm that she would be exploring it at ANY point!!!! I do NOT know why people are acting like it is a guarantee.
What if the Cauldron was wrong? COULD be foreshadowing yes, but the answer is rarely that obvious LMAO. Amren told Nesta that there were other ways to fight beside a sword, but Nesta became a warrior. Most likely it's talking about Elain. So is it really so hard to believe that this is NOT talking about Elain at all, but someone else entirely?
The three most likely options for a rejected mating trope are as follows:
LoA-Helion: we get to explore the pain and angst of knowing a mate has married and had children with another, and dealing with the rejected trope for centuries, but will eventually get together in the end. SJM is not about to give Lucien's parents a tragic ending lmfao. And in her world, rejected mates=tragedy.
Mor-Eris: if we go in the direction that mating bonds can only occur between males and females and Mor and Eris are both gay, so they can never have feelings for each other. In which case we explore the difficulties associated with a bond that neither person wants yet the instincts are still there.
Tamlin-Amarantha: did anyone wonder WHY tf Amarantha was so obsessed with Tamlin? Like, I know he's hot and all, but goddamnit girl what the fuck? Now, if they were mates and Tamlin rejected her, it would make sense. It would also add more nuance to Tamlin AND Amarantha's characters, and we'd get to explore Tamlin's trauma post-UTM after being forced to reject and kill his mate and how that drove him a little mad.
But, the rejected bond is NOT a guarantee, so there may NOT be any rejected bonds. These are all just theories at this point. One thing I am CERTAIN of is that the rejected bond will CERTAINLY NOT be Elain and Lucien. Especially not when SJM dangled Gwyn in front of us. Now THAT one is fucking obvious lol.
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waywardsalt · 11 months
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im actually going to tear into totk’s dragon’s tears/ memories rn bc i remember feeling distinctly unsatisfied with them when i got all of them so im just going to write some general bullet points about them, about what i dislike or maybe what i do actually like about them, leaving out both master sword scenes and the mummydorf one because i’m here to talk about the stuff in the past not that
- off the bat (i play this game in english btw so all of this is based on the english text and translation i am aware some stuff is slightly different in other languages) im not really a fan of how the descriptions of all of the tears is just a literal description of what happens?? i think my issue with it is that some of the text is a little bit too in depth, as in it just tells you literally everything about the scene. this might be nitpick-y but i personally dont like it
- what’s up with zelda saying ‘but that must mean...!’ at the end of the scene. is it suggesting that she’s made the realization that rauru and sonia are the first king and queen of hyrule? because they literally tell her that like ten seconds before. i guess it’s suggesting she’s realizing she’s in the past but... idk the texts says ‘she’s left startled by a suspicion that she’s heard those names before’ yeah theyre the first king and queen of hyrule?? they tell her that. they tell her their names and that they are the first leaders of hyrule is she just now connecting the dots that she’s in the past? that’s what the next cutscene implies. but all of the surrounding dialogue and the description don’t suggest that that’s what she’s realizing i feel like this was kind of muddled in the translation
- why did sonia elbow rauru he was just standing weird he didnt say anything this isnt a nitpick im just confused. is it because he’s not being very empathetic towards what zelda’s going through? she elbows him and then she goes and talks to zelda why even elbow rauru. ordinarily you elbow someone like that if you mean for them to go do something why elbow someone if you’re going to do the thing you want anyways
- why doesnt zelda offer to help with the purah pad or anything like that. what happened to her sheikah tech fascination from botw. not even as someone actually familiar with the technology who could give mineru some points as to how it works
- what are sonia and zelda doing behind rauru when he shoots that insane fucking beam at the mulduga swarm they’re clearly doing something with their stones but like... are they amplifying rauru’s power somehow?? what do time powers have to do with the beam of light i dont- what were they doing please the text description only mentions him using his powers so are sonia and zelda just... supporting his powers? idk man
- dragon tear #5 is a whole can of worms with its worse-than-oot reenactment of that one scene from oot. why the focus on sonia and her tear btw. i mean yeah she dies to motivate rauru and zelda but like. why not aim for the new girl who probably doesn’t know how to use it as much and is probably more likely to be separate from the king who can shot insane lasers. im really not a fan of this scene for how strongly the game sides with rauru and zelda being passive and judgemental but ganondorf is literally the best part of it there’s a lot of character in just how he picks up his sword and stands up to leave
- putting memories 6 and 7 together just because of how there was just. no fucking care put into the idea of zelda learning to use her time powers. memory 6 zelda talks about wanting to use her time powers and sonia gives her tips on how she could use it and visualize the use of it and then in memory 7 she can just use it perfectly with great control and timing. why even bother talking about her nothing yet understanding how to use it when the very next scene she just uses it like it’s nothing. how much time has passed we get nothing to show us zelda trying to practice this power just. nope. she’s good she can use it perfectly. also more awkward dialogue sonia saying ‘what a picture zelda paints of him’ as she is. looking directly at zelda. change the line to like, ‘what a picture you paint of him’ she is literally looking right at zelda so why would she say it like that
- generally i feel like memory six should have been before 4 and 5 (4 being where she uses some power to... support??? rauru and it being before memory 5 so that there isnt this weird break in between the memories concerning ganondorf.) memory 6 does not have anything to do with memory 4 or 5 so just put it earlier so there isnt a weird shift in focus between the two big ganondorf scenes
- good god they introduce the idea of sonia and zelda being aware of ganondorf using a fake zelda but theres literally nothing about it having been a problem or them having experience or like. anything. they just TELL you that they know and suggest that it’s been like. a thing for a bit??? also obligatory ganondorf’s face model rigging is fucked comment he’s still the best part
- the pacing of these memories is just weird in general, memories 7 and 8 being separate but the same scene is strange when other memories are long as fuck but cover one event each, plus theres clearly barely any passage of time between memories 7 and 8 it almost feels like they were split up to fill space or just because otherwise it’d be... too long? man idk
- ‘queen sonia needs you!’ girl she is DEAD good fucking luck doing anything to help her
- ganondorf’s horse and its armor both look sick as fuck i really wish you got to see more of it outside the memory it appears in
- everything about the original sages honestly sucks. they aren’t characters they’re just walking macguffins. they have no names and are not relevant or mentioned or make any appearance until they are needed by the story. why does the zora sage talk about getting word about the attacked gerudo village in this scene when like. they’ve all met up and have clearly. been together for a bit. when she gives them the news it’s clearly the first they’ve heard of it... but... why would she wait until this moments to give this info unless for the benefit of the player watching the scene. why does the ZORA sage have this news and not... the gerudo sage?? what’s with the masks. they’re all made of zonaite or whatever sure theyre gifts from rauru but like. i hate that it kind of denotes them being subservient and lower than him and the zonai. honestly i really hate this scene in general mostly because of the uncomfortable showing of how rauru absolutely holds power over them and despite them being leaders as well they are expected to be wholly blindly loyal to him. rauru only gives them these stones when he needs their aid and they swear loyalty too him soon after but you also see that sonia and mineru have stones, too, so they’re clearly withholding these things despite it being kind of reasonable for him to give each race their own secret stone as further proof of their pact? there is so much shit to be said about the imperialistic themes or whatever in this fucking story and i really hate it
- i do kinda like how the next scene shows you that the one rock in the corner of that first hidden room in the forgotten temple is sonia’s grave
- zelda’s phrasing and description of how she and link found ganondorf is weird to me ‘he’s still alive’ ‘he lives on’ girl that was a mummy. he was not moving until you got there. he’s undead at best as far as you know. this is def a nitpick but eh. also the reliance on link is a... bit odd when zelda does not actually know that link is safe until she gets the master sword. its fine but still. also her shell-shocked expression after rauru talks about her being in the past for a reason is a bit... it doesn’t fit her emotion it’s kind of similar to the expression she had when sonia was killed
- the memory about the imprisoning war starts with practically the whole story up until now being repeated back to you by mineru with a decent amount of bias on mineru’s part and while it’s fine because of some of the extra stuff you learn but it does a lot more telling rather than showing when it comes to the actual imprisoning war and... idk the whole thing about their ‘fight’ kind of falls flat when you don’t actually see any fighting you just see that the sages have gotten their asses beat. i think it would have been a little interesting if in the god-awful repetitive sage-awakening scenes they had actually showed you the og sages fighting ganondorf instead of just. slow-mo freeze-frames for whatever. once again ganondorf if the best part of the scene
- the rest of the memories are fine idc
i get the feeling that the japanese-to-english translation was either all-around rough or somehow rushed, because some of the phrases in the game as well as some of the dialogue is really awkward and... could have been better. i don’t know how it works but it feels like a lot of it was very literal, direct translation and no one at noa thought that it ought to be tweaked just a little bit
these memories also do a fuck-ton of telling rather than showing and it really is like they don’t really trust you to connect the dots, and some of it does come off like they either didn’t want to make more memories or ran out of time or something. i felt like the memory of ganondorf just summoning his monsters and riding on his cool horse could have been a bit longer to actually show us the forces of hyrule fighting him and having a hard time with it
a lot of the character animations doesn’t have a whole lot of personality to them, ganondorf is the character who had the most distinct and interesting movements. rauru and sonia had their... singular movement (rauru putting a hand to his chin and sonia taking zelda’s hands) and zelda was kind of just... standing around and reacting to stuff, and neither mineru nor any of the other sages had any really interesting animations asides from mineru’s coughing fit in memory 16 (plus her reclining chair that was a nice touch). very few of their movements really express anything about the characters besides some really baseline values or traits.
the ordering of some memories is kind of odd, the excessive flashbacks in memory 17 are a bit much, the telling rather than showing, the sometimes awkward dialogue, a lot of the scenes are characters just... talking at each other, you don’t actually see very much of hyrule in the past or any characters beyond the main four, and it really did nothing to actually get me to care about these characters at all.
tldr i dont like totk’s dragon tears
#i didnt want to revisit this game but the memories in totk bother me. once im done with this tho i can go read my new volumes of berserk#salty talks#loz#legend of zelda#totk#literally the narrative of this game dragged the rest of the game through mud for me so im going to complain abt it more#any time i wanted to rewatch a part of a scene i have to sit through a few minutes of bullshit just to get to the point.#these things are so long and barely anything happens in them#half of these cutscenes are just characters standing around and talking theres so little actual character to most of the character movements#ganondorf has the most emotive and distinct movements in all of these scenes#they have the most personality and you get the most variety. with rauru and sonia its just. shes gentle n motherly hes uhhhh arrogant king#honest to god. i miss linebeck. i miss the way he was animated and the sheer amount of personality they gave him in every cutscene#fuck man i miss botw's memories. despite them being shorter (i'm pretty sure) i feel like there was more essence to them. more character#listen. i understand that gamedev is hard and so is writing and animating but like. this game is seventy fucking dollars.#despite him being so disappointingly one-note. ganondorf was the most interesting fucking character in these memories#finding the dragon's tears was fun but actually watching them was lame af#hey remember those posts i made about ph's cutscenes? maybe its the autism but i feel like i couldnt write those paragraphs abt totk#ig just. ph is my special interest and i have a negative bias against totk. if you think im dead wrong about this stuff go ahead.#i dont blame anyone for taking my words with a grain of salt. come to your own conclusions. if oyu like totk's memories cool!#anyways im done bye im gonna read berserk. which actually has a nuanced story and world and characters and a multi-faceted villain#totk spoilers#bitching abt totk
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grimgummies · 5 months
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Sudden urge to drop off the face of the Earth (have zero online presence) and just focus on my art and myself then suddenly come back like nothin happened but now my art looks super different and I'm prolly mentally better too
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It's dead af at work. We got through our four reservations and have had no walk ins, and my manager won't cut me because he hates doing my job (and we're friends and he knows I need the money) and tbh I don't want to be cut (can't really afford to be) but I'm actually going insane from sitting on my stool, going through Tumblr, Insta, Kindle, then standing up and going through those apps again, then sitting down and going through those apps again, etc. it's nice to get paid to do nothing, because tbh if I was cut then I'd just be doing this but in my bed, but I'm getting so fucking restless.
#truly im unneeded rn#my other manager gave me the option to be cut before my shift even started but again. I'm broke af#so i came in. and im getting paid $15 an hour to scroll through all of my apps#and im trying to be mildly productive#trying to do some resding because i didnt resd as much as i wanted this month#to make up for it i finished three books in the last two days and im going for a fourth#one of them i had already started. one was pretty short. and one was so good that i tore through it fast#this is a more difficult story. about a school shooting. not super fun but a good story nonetheless#you ever read a book and then want to forget it so you can read it for the first time again?#i just read jumper by Melanie Crowder and it was so good. although apparently the diabetes information isnt accurate#but the story was very very good and kept me interested the whole way#the problem with this school shooting story is that its good. it draws my attention. but its understandably very hard to read#fourteen ish minutes until my paycheck goes through and then i find out if i can pay rent this month#that's part of why im restless too. nervous about paying rent. my job hours are unpredictable and so are the paychecks#i think ill be okay but as always im terrified that it wont#anyway im in a bit of a reading rut. if you hsve any book recs (not a big fan of fantasy. generally like realistic fiction. ya. lgbt)#that type of stuff. like jumper. the Miseducation of Cameron Post. message not found. stuff like that#open to recommendations#love yall. i hope you all have more thsn enough money to pay rent
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millenniumdueled · 10 months
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sorry I haven't been more active on my muses lately my brain is just. not. working.
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1990jeevas · 6 months
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being out of the mcytblr loop is rly funny bc shit just happens now and im completely unaware of it until somebody posts something with no tags and no context that makes me go down a rabbit hole trying to figure out wtf is up
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tachiisms · 1 year
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#on like strictly an ooc basis though i know i haven't been here in a while and randomly just popped on to shitpost#'cause laura's post made me laugh (ty! ily!)#but i'm still mostly over on my other blog. i've had a lot going on and like being with my soft girls right now#and also star wars hasn't really been sparking joy recently and it's been making this dash feel claustrophobic in a way idk how else#to really describe? like it's nothing to do with the actual people or characters on this dash it's more just that it's almost all star wars#if that makes any sense at all?#(which is probably stupid because no one really cares about the muses on my other blog so i'm only playing myself here lmao)#(but idc they make me happy and it's fine that they aren't popular)#but i also find that it can be kind of hard to branch out from star wars to get a wider range to rp with on siri#'cause it's mostly just modern type or crossover type verses#and that's been feeling Hard lately just because of the star wars stuff i just mentioned#but i do have a star wars related project with a friend that'll be...sometime upcoming? so i'm hoping that it will spark the joy again#but for now i'm mostly over on my other blog but since i follow a lot of the same people i sometimes see things and pop over here lol#anywhomst if you're at all interested in sigrid from the hobbit or susan pevensie from narnia (or breha who's also star wars)#(idk i'm not having the same problem with breha as siri probably because she's on the multi? anyway back to the point)#then feel free to go follow my other blog which is @viaminvenia but no pressure!! sigrid and susan don't have star wars verses#ily all you're all so talented and such good writers and just *chef kiss* all over the dash#ooc
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scare-ard--sleigh · 1 year
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i do for the most part try not to be like "they're misinterpreting my fave!!!!" but on the other i'm a switch with fandom-invisible sexual leanings (sub top) and i get unnecessarily ummmmmmmmm itchy when people try to say that My Favorite Ship is stringent on sex roles like i'm sorry but. one of them is not The Dom and the other is not The Sub, they hate each other too much for that
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i think my biggest beef with "Miss Scarlet and the Duke" is just the general awareness of the characters. I get that the entire point of the show is about a lady detective attempting to make her way in a man's world and having to fight her way through sexism prejudice and injustice for every single victory she claims, but there's a level of... modernity? to a lot of the issues addressed that just... doesn't quite flow with the setting and the rest of the writing, imho.
like--the female characters talk about how they can't do anything of importance because they're women, the gay characters talk about how they're 'outcasts of society' and 'marked for life' because of their sexuality, the misogynist male characters flaunt their male privilege over everyone, loudly, with extreme awareness. idk, it all just seems very much like inflicting modern views and opinions onto historical characters who couldn't possibly have the context to actually hold those views?
and don't get me wrong, I am not saying that these issues didn't exist in that time period. they did, and they were very real, and the people who faced them really did have to struggle in ways we'll not fully understand because we enjoy so much freedom today that had to be hard-won by previous generations. but there... was a bit of balance, I think, in a lot of ways? for instance, women weren't allowed to hold political power, but they had enormous social power. and I think a lot of that is overlooked and glossed-over in order to make a big loud statement about historical sexism and give a lot of snappy dialogue about how 'it's a man's world' and 'how DARE a woman do ANYTHING'.
and I say all this with caveats, too, because I just blazed through all of season 1 in two days, and I actually am enjoying the show! Eliza and William are both really fun characters, and I love their dynamic with one another! there's a lot of good stuff too in respect to how neither of them are fully clear-cut people with simplistic moral and ethical codes, they're not cardboard cut-outs but actual characters, and I appreciate that. and I appreciate that there are women of diverse backgrounds who want various different things from life and they're all represented equally and with dignity--same of the male characters. and I do think there's a historical precedent for a lot of the things that are brought up in the episodes! there's real history here. but I think the writers are missing some of the real depth of it for the sake of boiling everything down to focusing on One Specific Topic (ie, anti-woman sexism, social injustice, and general misogyny in the past and the struggle to be seen as An Actual Valid Professional as a woman in a career and profession completely dominated by men). and in a lot of ways, when the story really gets lost in itself and stops trying so hard to be About Sexism, it's a lot more immersive and enjoyable.
again, all just imho.
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hobisexually · 2 years
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#hi I am back with a long tag post about how I can’t keep up with life#very boring 30 year old stuff that I am struggling with very much and isn’t interesting to anyone#but I just put on my hobi playlist to feel better and instead sobbed so hard to just dance (which is a very happy song I don’t even enjoy)#that my pillow is soaked through so obviously sleep isn’t gonna happen until I get this out somewhere#so first. get this. one of my best and longest friends gets engaged and lets 1.5 months go by before she bothers to tell me#in front of four other friends who are decidedly less close to her but we all found out simultaneously.#Bad enough. you get confronted with the fleetingness of life and friendships and how everything changes even when you don’t want it to.#then. you talk it out. another friend’s dad just died. another one just bought a house and is moving away#engaged friend comes by again? And suddenly says she’s gonna get try to pregnant within the remainder of the year#and suddenly I’m hit with the fact that our friendship will never be TBE same and the life I thought we would live together is just not#gonna line up? We’re not gonna hit the clubs we’re not gonna go on adventures we’re not gonna paint the town red now that I’m a little bit#more chill re: covid. All of that? Gone. i thought I could make up for all of it but all my friends are in stages I’m not in#and with kids neber will be in? i won’t have a kid. i knew this but I didn’t /know/ this I won’t be able to follow#I’ll be aunt amber and I’ll love all their kids to the moon and back but I won’t follow. i know I don’t want kids#but I don’t think I thought about it before. what that would mean in relation to others#and I also just pictured myself with my own baby and though I don’t want it I never envisioned it and now I can’t stop crying#over the fact that I won’t have a baby. And it’s by choice yes but it doesn’t make it easy????????#I’m suddenly saying goodbye to a life I’m closing the door on and that’s. terrifying#and I’m so. so scared I’ll end up all alone and never find love or fulfilment#30 is great in terms of feeling calmer and knowing what you want bht this whole ………. this whole thing?#i HATE it I HATE it I can’t stop crying and I’m panicking I HATE IT#FUCK. CHANGE TRULY FUCK IT ALL#and FUCK everything the last two years have taken away from me and how low I was because of it and how hard my friendships got because of it#can I STOP crying now that would be GREAT
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“Life after Death,” Scarlet Spider (Vol. 2/2012), #1.
Writer: Christopher Yost; Penciler : Ryan Stegman; Inker: Michael Babinsky; Colorist: Marte Garcia; Letterer: Joe Caramagna
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sabraeal · 1 year
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💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?
💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.
💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?
If You Dare! My hakizana fics are not usually SUPER popular, but they tend to garner at least a little interest, but that one didn't even get a blip 🤣Too bad, that one was going to get smutty in the next chapter or two. ONE DAY.
💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.
That would be To My Esteemed Enemy with three whole kudos, which is both surprising and not, because it's a fic with a pairing that is more popular than my main ship in that fandom, but it 1) doesn't have any ship content in it yet, 2) is using canon characterization of Kazama, which displeases the people who want him to be a sexy villain and also the people who want him to be a uwu good boy trying his best. It's easy to say something nice about this, because I spent HOURS poring over Hakuouki lore to get this into shape and was SO PLEASED with the results. It just needs a few more chapters to really find an audience, I think, but I don't have the time right now to put my effort into it.
#asks#meme#fic meme#my posting schedule was so regular over the last year that i really lost any sort of idea of what was popular at all#because i would post something and then everyone was so used to something being posted#that they'd sit on it instead of like...ravenously reading it and commenting in the hopes that I'd come back to it#so when stuff made no splash i wouldn't even notice until weeks later when I was looking through stats#usually just to find a fic i needed to reference#and i'd be like oh okay hm that's data#when not even popular stuff gets a lot of movement it doesn't hit you so hard when other stuff doesn't either#it's been weird this year because i haven't been able to post weekly due to life getting in the way#this is cold and snow season and it makes my writing days very spotty and i'm trying to just go with the flow on it#so when i DO post something there's like an EXPLOSION of activity#it's been interesting to see how when you regularly post no one say anything unless you miss an update#but when there's no promise of an update to come suddenly everything you post is much more valuable in people's heads#i have fics in other fandoms with SUPER rare pairs#and they really only get updates once every two months because i focus more on ANS#and like those chapters just explode on contact now. everyone comments and wants to talk about the characters and what's going on#and now that i'm really only posting ANS every 2-3 weeks it's starting to be the same here too#just SUPER interesting how the human brain works when it comes to this stuff
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maxillo · 2 years
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just now occured to me that maybe I have vastly different expectations and presentation methods of content specifically because i got my start on wikia
#as in im more used to just creating repositories of information that others then read#in a space thats in some sense communal and interlinked in content#i have no idea how to consistently post about my work on social media like most people do#and it always feels like it goes against the grain of my brain because i want to keep everything centralized#and that i have to cater and trim it in a way that gives a reason for people to read it if they find it at all#versus people only needing to find a specific wiki of specific kinds of content where everyone contributes their ideas in the same space#its hard for me to even find and try to interact with fellow creatives on tumblr or elsewhere#it feels like such a goose chase of algorithms that demands way more energy than just being part of a wiki where people come and socialize#on their own terms and occupying a close and inherently blended environment where collaboration and interaction is much easier#maybe thats why i dont like 'advertising myself' in places either#in my wikia days people would just find my stuff and interact with me of their own volition all in the same space#it feels so weird and uncomfortable trying to pitch myself and my ideas in places where im not guaranteed reciprocation of interest#no surprise that i still prefer to structure my ideas through wikis but theyre not community spaces because tiddlywiki is 'solo' on its own#and i genuinely dont know how to bridge the gap between them and social media#im honestly wanting to just either find or create an actually communal wiki space and invite friends and mutuals to join or observe that#and maybe somehow integrate it with the wikis i already have#i just really miss being part of creative communities in a mutual way and thats the only method to organize it that makes sense to me#max yaks
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endwalkr · 2 years
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weee
#lotr good#lol i know i already made a post about it earlier this week but i finished watching the extended movies<\3#reading the appendices is slightly on halt since its no less work than studying but#i think readinf the books was soooo much fun like i already really miss being able to pick it up every day for month#the fact that you spend so much more time reading than watching a movie sort of makes the connection a bit stronger in a way#like im not sure how many hours i spent reading all 3 books over four weeks but it must be like 40 at least#being able to see it all in movie form is soo lovely cause 1) theyre just such fun movies and 2) you dont have to work your brain to#visualize things as much#although i did end up getting quite used to the writing style and endless describing of landscapes#so i didnt have to focus super hard anymore after a while#but yeah still its nice to just be able to sit back and let it sorta come at you rather than actively read it all#though a difference is that in the book if you find a scene or quote that hits hard you can just sort of read it over and over while still#staying in the zone or the vibe of the scene#whereas in a movie you can rewind of course but it breaks it up a bit xD#sometimes while reading i would loop a quote 4 or 5 times in my head before moving on#idk wtf i am talking about its almost 4am but i am so surprised i ended up liking lotr so much#like i wanted to watch it cause i was curious and general cultural education and stuff but especially after reading of course#ive not really had a new interest where i can like do endless research and learn soo many things about it for quite a while#the experience of finding something new and like slowly familiarizing yourself with it more and more is so much fun#also sjfjdj at me having to read and watch the grey havens scene twice within a week#first the book last monday and now the movie#me sobbing both times😭#its just really good#and i reiterate because it must be said#nobody ever did and nobody ever will do it like samwise gamgee#shoutout to taking the hobbits to ise gard#shoutout to the shire theme constantly transitioning into the gridania theme in my head#and good night (collapses)#long post#< in case of accidental tag opening sjfjdj
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