#I just like y’all’s senses of humor | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gyusrose · 5 months

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OMGG yk that one trend on tik tok where the girl shows her nails the caption being “look at my new nails” and she’s rubbing it on the bfs bulge can u do that with enhypen legal line?? Sorry if this doesn’t make sense😭

love this req !!!!! i tried my best though hope you like it !

⚠︎ very suggestive ;) semi- smut?

✎ what the req. says

enhypen legal line x fem. reader

Heeseung -> you were seeing this trend going on in TikTok and you couldn’t help but want to try it out on your boyfriend. you just had your nails done yesterday as well so it was the perfect timing. you explained to heeseung what you wanted to do earning a howl from him.

“ you’re so horny i swear. “

you smacked your lips pushing his shoulder lightly.

“not true! i just want to try this trend !”

“mhm yea sure, as if you don’t know that this will end up in fucking. “

nevertheless he agreed to it.

he laid down on his back while you positioned your hand on top of his clothed dick before pressing play.

as your other hand was filming you slightly squeezed him through his sweatpants. heeseung groaned and hissed as you kept on rubbing slightly on him while you pretended to show your nails. he was an impatient man, the video that was barely 15 seconds long felt like 15 minutes, all he wanted was to bend you over the bed and fuck you like the tease you are.

“shit are you almost done?” he desperately asked.

“wait, just like 5 more seconds..” heeseung threw his head back, annoyed. he knew you were deleting some clips and redoing them.

“alrighty it’s done.” as soon as the video ended he pulled your waist towards him and grabbed your jaw.

“you’re gonna learn to not tease me like that ever again.”

Sunghoon -> “look babe i just got my nails done.” you said showing him your pink and white flower designs on them.

to be completely honest, you only did it to do that funny trend you saw a few days ago. it’s just something dumb and humorous you wanted to do sunghoon wouldn’t mind it.

sunghoon thought about it for a minute. he wanted to act as if nothing but holy fuck, he was already getting hard at the thought of it. the whole idea of being recorded turns him on too much for his liking. eventually he agreed to it and laid down in bed.

you on the other hand had no idea how turned on he is, even though you’re touching him sexually, it was just a joke to you, just a TikTok. that would explain how surprised you were when you rubbed his visible bulge and felt him hard as a rock.

“holy shit..” you whispered to yourself, you tried to keep your composure as you were filming but how could you when your man was literally yearning for your touch.

sunghoon tried to hold back his moans but failed miserably. he wanted your mouth so bad. your soft touches that come and go did so much to him.

“fuck stop the video.” he said giving up, grabbing his pants and pulling them down along with his boxers.

“suck it like you know how to.”

Jay -> “so you just want to touch my dick is basically what you’re saying?” jay had such a way with words. of course that’s what you meant but you can’t just agree like that.

“i see so many people doing it and i’m bored.” jay raised an eyebrow at your response. he knew you like the back of his hand. you were horny duh.

“sure go ahead and do your ‘tiktok’ “ he chuckled as he laid in bed, waiting for you to start the video.

he smirked down at you as you innocently rubbed on his dick while you stroked up and down on it. showing your red nails to the camera yet the last thing on both of y’all’s minds was the nails.

jay wanted to also tease you. he lifted up his shirt slightly, showing his v-line. your panties were damp. in less than 30 seconds, jay has managed to almost make you cum on yourself.

jay kept calm throughout the whole video ( even though he was dying to fuck your mouth ) and just chuckled at how the simple outline of his cock made you go crazy.

“fuck it.”

you threw your phone somewhere and unbuckled his belt pulling his jeans down. left in his boxers he grabbed you chin, forcing you to look at him.

“i fucking knew it.”

Jake -> you were just sitting down in your living room at peace, when all of a sudden you hear footsteps coming from upstairs, jake came up to you while showing his phone screen with a huge grin on his face. oh god, you knew that look.

“look at this trend going on right now, it’s so hot.” he was always up to date with all the trends and stuff so you weren’t surprised, but when you saw the video, your eyes almost popped out. you were expecting a silly little dance he wanted to do with you but no. this man wanted you to grope him for a TikTok video. you couldn’t help but laugh at his request, you weren’t complaining though.

“jake seriously?”

“yes seriously, come on it’ll be fun, plus my face won’t be showing, just my dick. also you just got your nails done as well, don’t you want to show them off?” in other words, he was horny.

so there you were, rubbing on him as you squeezed his already aroused cock. you tried to go at it softly (since that was the whole point of the TikTok ) but jake didn’t want that as he bucked his hips cowards wanting to feel more, moaning from the lack of movement.

“i thought this was just got a TikTok, why are you getting so worked up jakey?” you teased. fuck how much he loved that.

from his white shirt which was almost transparent, you could see his glistening abs tighten from his heavy breaths. now you were the one getting worked up.

“just save the video and come here.” he said pulling you into a kiss.

Sunoo -> “you want to r-record it?” you nodded eagerly. you adored seeing sunoo hot and bothered, so what a great idea was this ? plus the nails you had on were actually expensive so what better way to show them off than next to your boyfriend’s dick?

sunoo blushed at your words. the action itself turned him on so bad but now that you want to make a video with it did something to him. he was nervous for sure but excited as well? there was nothing in the world he loved more than your hands, especially since they look so cute right now, so why not?

sunoo was already breathing heavily before you even pressed start. your hand simply being on top of his crotch already drove him crazy.

as you started rubbing him and squeezing him through his pants, he became a whiny mess. he stopped himself from moving his hips too much for the video but at that moment he wanted to fuck into your hand like he always does.

“aww is my precious little baby frustrated ? be patient i’m almost done.” the video was clearly longer than it should’ve been but you just loved seeing him trying to hold back seeing his dick twitch.

“please just- just touch me please ..”

Jungwon -> he was waiting for you to come up to him and ask him if you could do the infamous trend going around. obviously just as an excuse to have you on your knees.

“can we try it? pretty please? look my nails are even cute.” clearly you were very eager.

jungwon pretended to think for a moment as if he wasn’t dying to do it as well. “whatever you want princess.”

you took that literally. groping him from his base to the tip slowly then rubbing him while showing the camera your pretty nails .

“fuck those hands of yours.” he breathed out. you smirked loving how much power you have right now.

he was a quietly moaning into the pillow, on top of that, he was wearing grey sweatpants making it the scene even more sensual.

“ keep it together, just a few more seconds.” jungwon couldn’t even hide his desperation at this point. the way your small hands take him so good even soft touches and strokes like these drove him insane.

the sound of the video ending brought him back to reality. “and..done.”

“good, now finish what you’ve started.”

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flynnriderishot · 2 months

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What about reader being an influencer who's expressed her interest in matt as a joke with her friends in a video and it circulates everywhere AND THEN! Nick or matt or chris sees it and likes it and then they meet at a party or smthng and reader tries her best to absolutely ignore them but it doesn't work ! Something a bit humorous LOVE U SO MUCH RAH

cute - m.s

a/n: i am 100000% so so so sorry. i didn’t realize i wasn’t following your request fully until i came to post on tumblr 🤦🏾‍♀️ i did the first part of your request the way you asked but when i got halfway, i kind of went completely off whatever came to mind. again, i’m so sorry 😭 i can rewrite it if you don’t like it…. i hope you enjoy it tho

not proofread :(

“how do you stay so positive?” y/f/n read off her phone screen, pulling your attention away from your own device.

“um…delusion.” you smiled at the camera, earning a snorting laughter from the girl behind the camera.

you could see her eyes water at the response. your face fell, though a small twitch of your lip let the viewers know you were about to joke with her,

“it is not that funny. relax, girl.”

she rubbed her eyes, her laughter slowly fading away, yet the smile was prominent on her face, “come on.”

“next question.”

“okay, this a good one. who’s your celebrity crush?”

you took a second to think about it before answering, “he isn’t really a celebrity, but if i were to go ‘famous’, i guess…i would probably say matt sturniolo. he’s really cute, but if we’re talking like, actors and shit, then dylan obrien is the way to go.”

your answer was so vague that you didn’t think it would cause too much of a big impact, but as you glanced behind the camera at your friend, you couldn’t help but take note of the wide eyed look she sent in your direction.

“what?”

she shrugged her shoulders, “nothing. moving on.”

•••

“…then dylan obrien is the way to go.”

chris snorted at the video, his thumb moving him to the comments before he could even think about it.

his eyes narrowed as he read them.

sturniolosqueen bae knows matt?? we’re screwed 😭

| lovelysturn she knows vinnie too 😭💀

| secretlysturniolo yn is not worried about any of y’all, i promise 😭

ynsbabygurl imagine they saw this

floweryln YN, LOVER. THE STURNIOLO FANDOM IS HERE!! TAKE THIS DOWN ‼️‼️

notasturn dammit.

luckilyyn matt being her crush is the highlight on my year

| sturnonfire that’s concerning….

sturnioloscolby “delusion.” IM PEEING 😭

ynsgoddess YN KNOWS THE TRIPLETS ⁉️

| nickssturn NICK WATCHES HER VIDEOS TOO

chris has heard of the girl before, but never really watched her videos since her content wasn’t really directed towards guys like him. but he knew for a fact that he’s heard yn’s voice coming from his older brothers room.

“hey, nick?!”

“what.” the eldest triplet deadpanned, walking into the living room where his brother sat.

“you know her?”

nick didn’t give it much thought as he looked at chris’ screen as he passed, “yeah, that’s yn. she’s a youtuber, why?”

“she likes matt.”

“who likes me?” the man himself walked into the room.

“yn ln.”

nick’s eyes widen, a sudden peak of interest flooding his veins, “oh my god. really?”

“is that not what i just said?”

“i heard what you said, i just didn’t understand it at first.”

“that makes no sense, nick.” chris scoffed, absentmindedly handing his phone off to matt as he and nick started an argument.

“it makes perfect sense.”

matt drowned out the conversation happening between the two, watching the video over for the third time before speaking, “she’s pretty.”

nick glanced at him, “right? what i would do to have her skin.”

matt raised his brow in agreement. you didn’t have nice skin.

“i sent her some lip balm, i’m wondering if she’s got it yet.”

“what does your lip balm have to do with her looks?” chris tried to rile his brother up again.

“stop talking to me.”

matt rolled his eyes, shaking his head softly as he went to his tiktok, just then noticing the amount of posts he was tagged in that mentioned you as well.

your video hadn’t even been out for a full day yet and there were already edits of you two.

one in particular got his attention with song, MMM HMM by Lancey Foux and the ‘boaf’ audio in the beginning of it.

without much thinking, he double tapped the edit, doing some more scrolling through the app before he eventually got bored and went to play a game in his bedroom.

what he wasn’t aware of was the uproar one like would cause between two fandoms.

•••

you sat at your desk, ipad in hand with your phone propped up against a bottle as you were on instagram live.

you were talking to your viewers whilst scrolling through videos they tagged you in. your eyes were bright with happiness at the edit of you to Tipsy by Miss Luxury.

“you guys are too sweet.” you liked the video, moving your eyes back to your phone screen to see an interesting chunk of comments come in almost all at once. “i can’t read all the comments guys, slow down.”

| go to the slaybaeyn acc! they make hella edits of you bae

| yn x sturniolo triplets when???

| LIKE MY EDIT PLEASE

| YN MATT SAW YOUR VIDEO

| hearing you like dylan obrien makes me feel like my soul is connected to you

“i’m not connected to anyone’s soul. don’t wish that on me.” your eyes widen, unsure whether or not the person was joking. one thing you didn’t play around with was spirits and voodoo stuff.

| lmaooo 😭😭

| PLEASE 💀

of course, anyone new to your fandom would have thought you were being rude, but your followers have gotten used to your humor over the years.

the ones having the chance to meet you in person have confirmed that you were just a naturally awkward and dry humored person.

it’s why people loved you so much.

“oh my god, i almost forgot. guys, guess what?”

without even looking at the comments, your eyes moved around your desk in search for something in particular.

“SpaceCamp sent me stuff!” the excitement in your voice had your viewers gushing.

while you made a lot of jokes and did very well when it came to getting other people laughing, it was hard for your supporters to find clips of you showing you were having a good time doing something. a lot of the time, your features were very sarcastic and ‘dry’ so this moment was almost revolutionary.

| her smile 😭🫶

| yn’s yearly happy clip ‼️

| she’s too cute, i can’t.

| SPACECAMP⁉️ AS IN THE STURNIOLO TRIPLETS ⁉️ AS IN NICK ⁉️AS IN MATT ‼️⁉️

| why are y’all acting like she’s unhappy all the time? the girl just has a dry sense of humor and a resting bitch face 🌝

| YN DID YOU SEE THAT CHRIS SAW THE CLIP OF YOU SAYING YOU LIKED MATT???!‼️‼️

“chris saw me saying i have a crush on his brother?” you placed the box of lip balm in your lap, your face falling slightly. “why the fuck didn’t you guys tell me this sooner?”

| y’all done made her mad 🙄

| HE LIKED AN EDIT OF YOU GUYS TOGETHER

| we’ve been tagging you bae 😫🤷‍♀️

you squinted your eyes, looking side to side before sighing softly, “don’t play with me.”

nicolassturniolo has joined the live!

“even when i trust you guys, i can’t trust you guys. i didn’t get tagged in shit.”

| NICKS HERE

| NICKKKK

| HI, NICK

nicolassturniolo you got the package!! i hope you enjoy it

“hi, nicolas.” you vaguely greeted, pretending you weren’t internally freaking out over his presence. “i haven’t tried them yet but i love the packaging. thank you so much for sending it.”

nicolassturniolo so glad you like it 🤭

nicolassturniolo add me

it took a few seconds for the live to connect but nick was now in your live, his face showcasing his happiness.

“NICKKK.”

“YN”

matthew.sturniolo has joined the live!

| HIIIIIMATTT

| MATTYYY

even if you wanted to pretend you didn’t see the comments, the shyness that suddenly took over you let the people know that you were aware of matt joining the live.

matthew.sturniolo the edit by sturnioloxyn on tiktok goes crazy

“matt, shut up.” nick said, residing his brothers comment before directing his attention to you, “so, what’s this i hear about you having a crush on my brother?”

your face pulled into a wince, “oooh. let’s not talk about that.”

“no let’s talk about it.” nick laughed, adjusting his body so he was laying stomach flat on his end.

“oh my god.”

matthew.sturniolo i think you’re cute too by the way 😉

taglist:

@hearts4chris @timmyandsturniolo @mayhem-72 @luvsturns

#sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo

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itsyaniwym · 3 months

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‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ Astrology Observations II ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊

✺ Pisces Mars are experts at ghosting. You guys take action in such an elusive way because you hate confrontation, or just unnecessary drama. If y’all are annoyed or feeling a way about something you don’t say anything right away and you only react when things boil over into the point where you can’t control it anymore and you explode. Then you immediately bad for getting so angry. Just work on communicating how you feel, when you feel it, sometimes other people won’t know how you feel until you express it.

✺ Mars in the 1st house synastry isn’t always as sexy and hot as people think it is. The mars person’s attraction could be so strong for the house that they come off too strong which can completely turn off the house person. (If there isn’t any other compatible synastry)

✺ The sign in your second house is usually the sign, or ones with those placements, that you feel the most possessive over.

✺ Also, the second house can explain your appetite and how you like to eat. For example, Sag risings having Capricorn in the 2nd house prefer home cooked meals over fast food. They are very strict as to what they put in their body and they won't eat just anybody's food.

✺ As of the other hand, Scorpio risings having Sag in the 2nd house go from extremes where they are either eating really healthy or just absolutely terrible. They love fast food and can tend to over indulge in these pleasures.

✺ In my opinion, 4th house synastry feels more like family or a really close friend than anything romantic (mostly just Sun and Moon) It feels almost weird to cross that line, like if you do things would turn awkward. OR if it is a romantic connection the planet person may have more feelings than the house person does.

✺ I will stand by this but 6th house synastry is SOOOO underrated!!! If you are looking for a long-term relationship with someone having personal planets here will really help the relationship last. Especially when Sun is there it’s almost like there is a never a dull moment and each and every day you guys are never get bored of one another. Venus here it’s like you guys find pleasure doing the small things together the most. You would even be happy doing things like grocery shopping with them, stopping by at your job to give you flowers, and makes living together very easy. Mars in ones 6th house is sending them to do things, and them not minding at all, they love to make you happy by doing things for you.

I do feel like moon in 6th house synastry would be a bit aggravating. Feeling like the person would rather intellectualize and nitpick your emotions rather than being the one to help you feel them. Almost feels as if you are being judged for any emotion you show. It might be annoying feeling like someone is constantly questioning you about how they feel or feeling like you constantly have to take on the baggage of what the other person is going through.

✺ It’s not said enough but Capricorn placements, especially mercury and Sun, are the most hilarious people ever. Their dry sense of humor and how sarcastic they are is UNMATCHED. They will say the things that other people are scared to say and you can’t help but to laugh. They have that dark humor that no other sign can replicate. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea but they are so real!

✺ Pisces Mars and Pisces rising’s are the ones who are attracted to people that u would least expect them to be with. Or they are attracted to the “bad boy” or the one people tell them to stay away from

✺ Sag rising don’t age! No matter how old they are they have this glow about them and always look so youthful.

✺ Aquarius and Sag Venus’ really don’t have a type. They just love someone who makes them happy and they can go adventures with . These people are attracted to cerebral people and anyone who can really expand their mind. You often hear these people say “I like who I like” or “I just love, love”. This could change if there is some Capricorn energy in the chart which could make someone value a more traditional approach to this fun loving placement.

‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ Thank you guys for making it to the end of my post! ♥️if you have any experience with any of these placements/synastry above please comment down below your experience! I would love to hear you guys’ feed back. Please keep in mind these are just my personal opinions take everything with a grain of salt. Love youusss💋 ♡

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sweetah-than-a-swishah · 2 years

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Two men can be friends without it being sexual

why y’all talking to me like this is the teenager-infested comments section of a tiktok 💀💀💀 nobody said lil nas and jack couldn’t be friends without it being sexual i said IM TRYNA SEE THEM FUCK. like PLEASE what are y’all doing 😭😭😭

#like who sent me this shit i know it had to be a follower but i thought y’all were cool and had senses of humor #if you’re a mutual and you sent this…dm me i just wanna talk lmao #nvm i think i cracked the case

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khalixvitae · 8 months

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I think that everyone should take a moment to think about just how fucking weird Malleus is. Like, he rlly isn’t the super OP, suave, mysterious bad boy trope that he frequently gets boxed into. That is literally in universe propaganda- that’s what his classmates (who are too afraid to talk to him) have like. Made up abt him. He’s actually rlly fucking odd (seemingly even by fae standards) and that is so cool of him. Like. He has a fixation on one particular architectural feature and shows up in your back yard on a weekly basis to infodump at you. His handwriting is basically calligraphy. He does not know how to work a cell phone. He has the most offputting sense of humor known to man and god, yet somehow does not always understand sarcasm when it’s directed at him. The only person who understands him is his equally weird yet socially adjusted 600+ year old adopted father, and even he was so concerned for Malleus’ social development he tagged along with him to school with the goal of making some sort of social connection happen. He’s so odd and I think we should all take a moment to think abt him as a weird little freak

Edit: I wasn’t gonna say the autism word bc sometimes people don’t know how to act when you say their fav emo boy has autism. Side eye. But since y’all have said it yourselves may I reiterate: malleus draconia is dripping w autism and that makes him so cool and relatable imo thank u

#he’s kinda moe if you think abt it #if u squint #idk I think he’s wonderful #twst #twisted wonderland #malleus draconia #malleus <3 #he makes my autistic heart happy

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icyg4l · 14 days

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PAC: Your Future Partner's Love Language

Hello beautiful people, tonight marks the third post of the week regarding love! (meaning I kept my promise, yay!) I have a sale going on tomorrow, so be sure to tune into that. If you would look to book a reading, please read my guidelines and then dm me! If you have any inquiries, also dm me! Without further ado, please select your pile!

Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (1-4)

Pile 1: I feel like you’re the independent woman trope, Pile One. This person will be attracted to you because you have your own. But that doesn't mean that they won’t be giving. This isn’t a stingy lover at all. I get Cancer/Capricorn/Aquarius energy from this person. I see this person will be big on gift giving. They will also shower you with compliments. They don’t expect this in return, to be honest. They’re also really big on paying the tab every time at restaurants. I feel like this person is calm and collected. This person wants to follow in their family’s footsteps. They’re big on marriage and doing things the proper way. They would like to show you off, this is part of their love language as well. And lastly, this person really likes to see people stand on business. Part of their love language is helping you plan and put things into action. They’re going to be your number one fan. Expect roses and romance with this person, Pile One.

Cards Used: The Hierophant, The Hermit, 4 of Discs, Queen of Swords

extras: tacos. party pooper. mellow. skilla baby. carrie underwood. bartleby.

Pile 2: So when I was shuffling for this pile, I heard the term ‘yapper’. This person really likes to talk, even if it’s about nothing. I thought of this guy who I sit next to in my English class, and he says whatever comes to mind. I feel like this person just really wants a listening ear since they didn’t get that when they were younger. They could have been the type of kid to have “talks too much” on their report card. They have big Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Virgo energy. This person just wants to be heard and valued for once, they feel taken for granted. This person has the tendency to go down memory lane as well. They also have a thing for tickling. They honestly seem like a big kid. They are really big on humor. Their sense of humor can be deadpan or they could say a lot of one-liner punchlines. Be prepared to laugh a lot. I think this person values one-on-one time a lot as well, Pile Two.

Cards Used: Judgment, Ace of Swords, Death (RX), Eight of Discs (RX), 7 of Discs (RX)

extras: bright teeth. nice style. black beanies. toby from this is us. “kiss the ring.” wrestlers.

Pile 3: Oh man, the chemistry is hot here. This person really likes PDA. They enjoy physical touch. They want you to find any reason to touch them & they want to do the same for you. This person wants everyone to know that y’all are together. They could be a little clingy, let them know if that’s too much for you. I get the feeling that this could be their first real relationship so please be gentle with them. I feel like this person is like a big teddy bear. They really enjoy hugs, sharing drinks with you, cuddling, hand-holding and sloppy kisses. It all makes their world go round. You guys will be engaging in a lot of sexual activity together so please protect yourselves! Overall, this person is not shy. This person is quite the flirt, very physical. They give big Leo, LIbra, Aries energy. You guys are going to be like that one couple in high school that got detention for kissing by the lockers. People might be uncomfortable by your dynamic because you’re so physical with one another, but fuck it!

Cards Used: Knight of Wands, The Chariot, Princess of Cups, The Lovers, Ace of Cups.

extras: sweet face. wink. “hold me.” soft hands. racy. lord farquaad. monochromatic. skin-to-skin.

Pile 4: Can we say dramaaaa? I feel like your person is really dramatic. They’re the epitome of go big, go home. They give off Pisces, Leo, Sagittarius energy. They’re the epitome of male R&B singers in the early 2000s. This person has the best intentions but it can be overwhelming for you at times. Know that this person is doing their best. This is a part of who they are, there’s no faking this personality. I think this person would literally do anything for you. If you were to ask for a cookie from the store, they would bring you the cookie, a sandwich, a drink, chips and flowers just to make your day. This person is really good at planning parties and spending money. If you were to have a birthday coming up, they would have a surprise party planned with all of your favorite people there and thoughtful gifts. This person wants to give you the world, honestly. Don’t feel embarrassed by the things that this person does because you deserve it. They do it out of purity, but you can tell them to tone it down if it’s really getting to you.

Cards Used: The Emperor, The Fool, Justice, 7 of Cups, Ace of Discs, Princess of Cups

extras: my way by usher. “It’s camp.” new edition. clown colors. teezo touchdown. rich uncle vibes.

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chrollohearttags · 19 days

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french tips • sanji x black!fem reader

your new nail tech suddenly becomes your favorite after an appointment you’ll never forget!

nail tech!sanji, modern au, him being a gentleman ofc (he’s not a perv in this, hadn't watched the live action but from clips, taz seems a lot more charming so that’s who i'm going with! 😭) massage, handjob, foot and nipple play, service dom, fingering, squirting, calls reader miss + my dear, praise kink, says good girl a couple times, sanji has a tongue ring

word count: 2.5K

whoever sent this idea, thank you for your contribution. I don’t know if you are being serious or facetious but either way, you have awoken something in me. sanji fuckers, come get y’all’s juice!!

══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿════✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿

you were a little hesitant…downright apprehensive even. You’d been coming to this shaking for years and each time, you sat in the same chair, got nearly the same services and entrusted your beauty needs to the same hands. “I’m sorry, (y/n). She’s on vacation right now and won’t be back for at least three weeks.” “I understand but I wish she would’ve told me before I booked the appointment..” you were flustered and rather frustrated to boot..you had an important event coming up and the last thing you needed was your routine disrupted. It was already enough chaos in your hectic life! But nail tech!sanji was willing to swoop in and make things easier.

“Miss, if you don’t mind..I’d be more than happy to help you today. My next appointment isn’t for a few hours so I’ve got plenty of time to get everything taken care of.”

nail tech!sanji, who’d been an esthetician and licensed massage therapist for years, had just begun working there but his work and reputation far preceded longevity at this particular shop. The man was an absolute master at his craft and his catalog spoke for itself. He had won competitions, curated some of the most beautiful designs you’ve ever seen and worked with absolute proficiency. “Is there a specific design you’re looking for?” nail tech!sanji had also mastered the art of de-escalating tense situations. When working around women and people who did not play when it came to their appearances, he knew one wrong move could result in his head or termination so he was flawless in his final product..left with no other choice, you’d accept nail tech!sanji’s generous offer. “Fine. But if you screw up one thing on these nails, I’m done with this shop for good.” but little did you know, you’d be so glad that you did take the services from him! nail tech!sanji, who’s work area was absolutely spotless, smelled of vanilla incense and looked so out together, it shocked you. “I find vanilla helps soothe the senses…makes you feel a lot more relaxed. Don’t worry, I’m going to take good care of you and if at any time, I do anything wrong, you let me know. Okay, miss?” nail tech!sanji, who looked better suited for a repair shop with his tattoos, blonde wefts and tongue ring, certainly took you by surprise. He was gentle, attentive and made certain that you were comfortable. “Can I offer you some water? Or perhaps something else to drink?” As the nail salon you frequented also doubled as a bar. “No alcohol for me today, please. I drove. I’ll just take the water..” nail tech!sanji, who noticed that you were still nervous, decided to take your hand and redirect that tension.

“So tell me about this event. I’d love to hear about it if you don’t mind.” nail tech!sanji, who was not only kind but handsome and rather charming to boot. He had a great sense of humor and was very quick witted..this man who was all but a stranger thirty minutes ago, had you laughing and fanning yourself as he dabbed balls of acrylic onto your nails and sculpted your tips to perfection. nail tech!sanji, who did thorough work whilst also listening to you attentively as you divulged about your career and how you were going to be attending a gala for the company’s sponsors. “Sounds like it’s a room full of snobs.” “You don’t know the half but hey, they keep my bills paid so I can’t complain too much, I guess.” nail tech!sanji, who was absolutely smitten by you, couldn’t stop staring from across the table as he gently kneaded lotion into your hands. His touch was so soft and inviting, making you wish he’d never pull away. It didn’t help matters that he was so damn attractive! nail tech!sanji, who made your nails look the best they ever had, was pleased to see the smile on your face after he finished!

“..only the best for a valued customer and such a beauty at that. I do aim to please.” “I’d say you exceeded that. Thank you, mr. sanji..they’re gorgeous.” “Thank you for allowing me to take care of you. I’m honored.”

nail tech!sanji, who wasn’t quite ready to part ways with the gorgeous woman he’d come to be acquainted with, decided that he would take on all of your services today. Including your pedicure and massage…nail tech!sanji, who saw that you opted for the deluxe package, whisked you away to the private room with the entire setup. Something you’d always paid for. A massage bed in the corner and the pedicure chair with a tub full of milky liquid and rose petals scattered about…soft, ambient music playing from the speakers and waves displayed on a mounted television screen crashed around. It was so peaceful and just what you needed for the long week ahead and the one you’d just gone through. nail tech!sanji, who rolled up his sleeves as he sat down to work on your feet, made you chew at your bottom lip..weirdly enticed by the sight of his veins protruding from his forearms. But that wasn’t the only reason…he’d soak your heels and work on each one as the other marinated in the softening solution. nail tech!sanji, who delicately massaged up and down those calves, couldn’t help but to chuckle when he felt you slightly tremble yet again when he began to gently knead his fingers into your pressure points, causing you to melt right there! “Looks like someone enjoyed that. You’re really tense for some reason, miss..something on your mind?” Trying to feign the embarrassment of admitting that not only were slightly turned on by how gently this man handled you but the fact that beneath that skin tight sundress, you weren’t wearing any panties, as you had just come from your wax appointment before arriving here and he was seconds from getting an eyeful! “N-no, I’m fine. Just feels really good.” “Well that’s all I want to hear.” nail tech!sanji, who was quick to sense the energy shift, went to retrieve your polish of choice after rubbing your legs down in lotion and wrapping them in warm towels.

“White toes..good choice. And a personal favorite on a lady too.” “You’re a man of good taste then. I like that.” Causing the blonde to blush a bit himself..as he could tell you weren’t exactly some scared little girl. You were a grown woman..who was strong, handled her business and always got her way. Just his type! nail tech!sanji, who set up for your final service as he allowed your toes to cure under the gel lamp, began to dim the lights and lay out all his materials. Knowing that you were watching him carefully…snaking his tongue out intermittently to reveal that steel ball stuck between it. Not to mention the silver bands wrapped around his perfectly manicured fingers.

“..can I have you remove your clothes and wrap yourself in the towel, please? I can step out for a moment and you just let me know when you’re ready..” helping you from your seat as he removed that lamp and grasped your hand..this man was the epitome of a perfect gentleman and you were becoming more and more ecstatic that you had decided to come in today. But unbeknownst, the best was yet to come..nail tech!sanji, who’d stepped back in to find you lying across the table on your stomach, a single towel covering your frame and ready for him to work his magic. nail tech!sanji, who had to all but bite his fist to restrain himself as he inched closer and prepared to make you feel the best you had in ages…warming a palmful of oil as he rubbed them together. Waiting in anticipation, you’d glance back and be greeted with a smirk. When he began to knead your muscles with those strong hands, your body would immediately melt within his grasp. So carefully working out all the sores and kinks that had mounted throughout the stressful work week. Meetings, business negotiations, dinners with your bosses…it was all taking its toll. But if anyone could put you at ease, it was nail tech!sanji..

“How are we feeling, my dear?..”

“Amazing..you’re really good at this..”

and luckily for you, this wasn’t even the beginning. Because as he kept going, (y/n) began to release soft whimpers in response to those subtle touches. Chewing at your lower lip, you’d allow your mind to escape to a place that it should not have been. Abashedly, you didn’t want to admit it but it’d been quite some time since a man had touched you, less known, made you feel this damn good! It was apparent that he was no amateur..in many ways than once. “Mmmm…like that.” The words slipped out subconsciously but it didn’t even phase nail tech!sanji, he just chuckled and kept going. Everytime he moved, he questioned and asked for your permission to place his hands lower. By the time he reached your lower back, you’d let him know it was quite alright to do as he pleased. “Please…keep going. You know what to do..” you were never a promiscuous woman by any means but you were the kind to have your way..when you wanted it. And what you wanted right now…was for him to give in to his desires and take you right there!

“In that case…flip over f’r me and I’ll give you exactly what you need.” The sexual tension that had accrued between you two was undeniable and neither of you were interested in playing coy. So with the command being whispered into your ear, causing a shudder to run down your spine, you’d follow his command and turn over to lie on your back, exposing your breasts. He couldn’t help but to subtly grunt at the sheer sight of those erect, dark hues nipples and toned tummy. The only thing making it better was the glass colored liquid pooling across it and spreading as he rubbed it in. Your brown skin glistening underneath the hue of auburn lighting.. “..there we are..much better.” nail tech!sanji took his sweet time in caressing your body. Honing in on your stiff little buds and watching you squirm. Your dark eyes glaring through him with unadulterated lust. Especially when he’d wash his hands off and proceed to go lower beneath that cloth covering your upper thighs. “You sure know how to work your hands..” “I’m only getting started, my love. Just keep your eyes on me and don’t move…” his dominance was not only attractive but captivating. You needed him more than he could imagine! So much so, you’d reach over to grasp for his clothed erection that was growing from the confines of his pants. But nail tech!sanji was quick to halt you, gently clutching your wrist.

“Aht..not yet, gorgeous. It’s my turn.” Chuckling as he commanded you to lean up so you could watch his every movement. He’d part your legs as he kept an arm cradled behind your shoulders and the other between your thighs, working those nimble fingers on your sensitive spot. “Oh my gosh..” “…mmph, you’re soaking, pretty girl.” watching you writhe and whimper as those digits circulated your clit. nail tech!sanji, who latched his lips around your nipples and suckled as he moved about, working them inside of you..whispering into your ear, marking your throat with kisses and filling your head with sweet nothings as he clutched his hand around it. “Ooh..you needed this, didn’t you?…yeah, I know. Just need someone to take care of you every once in a while.” Pegging you to a tee..so independent and headstrong that sometimes, you forgot what it felt like to be spoiled. Clutching around his knuckles, you’d grasp for his arm and hold onto it as your lips met in passionate pecks. Exchanging saliva and whimpers in the process. Tasting one another as the kisses deepened. Sensing that mounting ball of pleasure forming in your core, he’d curl his index and middle digits to work that orgasm out of you. “Good girl..there you go. Keep fucking my fingers. Just like that..get yourself off..” nail tech!sanji, who was practically yearning to bury himself inside of your pussy, could no longer fight his own urges and gave you permission to stroke his cock, shuffling his waistband around to remove it. “Mmph, damn…” “..like what you see, miss?” Knowing that you were taken aback by his size and length. A glowing red tip with precum seeping out..you’d carefully take into your grasp as you stroked that shaft. You’d pleasure each other through lilted moans and stifled cries. Practically shoving your tongue down the other’s throats as you brought each other to ecstasy. “Should I speed up? I can if you need me to..” but you’d quickly decline, finding that the pace was perfect. He was equally as needy but his resolve outweighed his pleasure at the moment and he was determined to let you get yours before his own. Which wasn’t too far away..

“You wanna come, beautiful? It’s okay, you can tell me.” “Y-yes! Please, Sanji..” and with that, he commanded your release with a sharp tug upward and a quickened flick of his wrist..you’d finally cave and release. Letting out loud whimpers, along with a stream of juices, that soaked the table and your quivering thighs. nail tech!sanji, who enjoyed the sight of watching you writhe from his volition, was quick to get a sample of the mess he contributed to. Moving down your torso with the swipe of his tongue piercing, grazing your skin; lapping up those sweet juices from your center down to your thighs..leaving a trail of kisses in his wake until he reached your calves and feet. nail tech!sanji, who’d place those freshly done toes into his mouth, sucking them momentarily as he concluded your massage.

“So..did I do a good job, my love? Satisfied with your service today?” Receiving by far the best compliment he’s ever gotten when you snatched him down and made out with him once more. Showing your gratitude. “I’ll take that as a yes..” giggling with him as the two of you came down from your climatic bliss.

y/n, who was apprehensive before coming in here, was now leaving happier than ever. And nail tech!sanji, who had never picked favorites among his clients, was now looking forward to your next appointment!

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tagging: @lotus-flower-writes @spaceforher @highpri3stess @themagnificentgoat @ichigosluvrr @ladymomo

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astr0logywh0r3 · 3 months

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astro observations pt. 2

1.) venus square mars ppl have trouble with balancing their masculine and feminine energies. they can feel this internally and it can make them feel insecure. one second they feel hyper feminine and the next they feel more masculine. they wish they could find a way to balance both sides of them but it’s a struggle. they could come off too strong from time to time as a result of their inner conflict (might come off too strongly feminine or masc in the moment) and then they’d feel bad ab it later

2.) i think neptune in the 1st/conjunct the asc might be good at making other people feel special 🤨

3.) mars-pluto ppl have that confident inner power within themselves

4.) cancer risings remind me of fluttershy from mlp 💀

5.) saturn conjunct asc/in 1st house might have been extremely shy kids. they have a lot of determination within themselves though. makes a very strong-willed person. go after what they want with resilience and understand the importance of taking calculated steps to achieve their desires. definitely the no-bullshit type

6.) pluto on the ascendant always reminds me of tony montana from scarface for some reason 😭. i guess it makes sense since al pacino has pluto conjunct his asc so idk. it’s just that archetype. tony wasn’t afraid and didn’t stop at anything to reach where he got. a phoenix risen from the ashes. stubborn. that “don’t tell me what tf to do” type energy. intense, babe. their eyes are crazy too (it’s like they store all their inner intensity and deep emotions in their eyes ..lotta depth). also the no-bullshit type. if they’re mad at you ……be afraid 💀 they will plot revenge and start conspiring some shit

7.) taurus risings are pretty in a “oh, they’re cute” way. they have short little noses and pretty eyes

8.) pisces risings… are y’all good at telling stories? 😭 i think you guys get a little sidetracked

9.) chart ruler in the 9th makes someone adventurous… they just wanna explore and do everything. try everything there is at least once. could have a great sense of humor too

10.) scorpio moons are really protective of their family. they guard their families just like they guard their emotions

11.) unpopular opinion but scorpios aren’t mysterious to me 😐 i’m not sure id call any zodiac sign mysterious tbh it really depends on the whole chart. scorpios to me are just super honest people who have pragmatic opinions that they aren’t afraid to state out loud. if a scorpio has an opinion they feel strongly about they won’t be afraid to let others know how they feel, which i admire about them to an extent. they like getting to the nitty gritty of situations. some of them can actually be very kind people. funny as well due to their honesty and boldness. oh, and they just love dark reds. search up “maroon” and that is literally their staple color you cannot tell me otherwise

12.) i’ve met leos who i’ve found boring before which goes against their stereotype 💀 sometimes their personalities are just the bare minimum honestly unless the rest of the chart says otherwise

13.) mars in the 11th have big dreams for themselves. they wanna make a difference.

14.) 8th house sun makes someone intriguing and mysterious. it can also be a placement that grants beauty.

15.) moon in the 4th just wanna belong.

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moon-rivr · 2 months

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not my car!

pairing: miguel o’hara x fem reader

contents: reader gets angry with spider-man, male masturbation

author’s note: i wasn’t planning on making a valentine’s day post (just because i’m a big hater LOL) but i decided to mix these two together, hope y’all enjoy <3

word count: 4.7k

Valentine's Day.

What was supposed to be a day dedicated towards expressing your love towards your friends and others was a day that you'd be stuck at work. Not the holiday had really made a difference towards you, all of it just seeming like a capitalistic ploy to get people to spend more money just to prove who loves each other the most. Or at least that's what you told yourself at the lack of a Valentine once more this year. While it wasn't out the norm for you to spend it alone, you couldn't help but feel disappointed at the reminder of another year without achieving that relationship status.

But despite the fact that you weren't technically anyone's Valentine, you'd still managed to get a date for tonight. You'd joined a dating app in hopes to find a date before tonight months ago, without actually having much luck until a couple days ago. All the men that you'd swiped on were either interested in something completely different from what you were looking for or they were just complete assholes. You'd been talking to a moderately good looking guy with biceps that looked like they could choke you for a while, the two of you making plans to go out tonight before he got caught up in work again. Despite the fact that he was more sarcastic with his sense of humor, you couldn't help but enjoy every joke exchanged and every conversation you two held.

You'd gotten so caught up in the thought of how the date would go tonight, already planning out what outfit you'd be wearing and what type of makeup you'd like to try that you hadn't realized you were starting to run late for work. You quickly finished with getting dressed, making sure to button up your shirt correctly before making your way out of your apartment. "Buenos dias, mija," your elderly neighbor called out, sweeping the floor outside. (good morning) "Buenos dias, señora," you responded back, giving her a small wave once you finished locking up your door. While you usually made it a point to try and have conversation with her, you were already in a rush to get to work on time.

"Come on, baby. Don't fail me now," you pleaded with your car, turning the key on the ignition only to receive a mocking sputter in n response. You took the key out, counting in your head up to three seconds before sticking it back in. You'd gotten used to these little kinks and tricks in the car, learning to adapt quickly to its ways to save yourself some money. Whether it be smacking the dashboard to get it to turn on or simply taking the key out, you were determined on riding the car until it's last minute. You assured yourself that your car was still fine despite the noises that it made while it was driving, almost like every piece of metal inside of it was loose.

And while the car wasn't much, it was one of the few things that you'd be able to claim that belonged to you after you finished paying it off. Your wage had made it difficult to manage living alone with an apartment but it was achievable if you cut back on the amount of expenses that you had. You were simply surviving up at this point, making sure that you weren't spending more than the basic necessities to stay alive so you'd have enough money to be just above the debt line. But while everything else in your life was rented, the car was the one thing that you could be able to claim as your own. Well, after you finished paying it off at the end at the year.

You let out a small groan as you saw that someone else had taken your undesignated designated parking spot. While the parking spots didn't belong to anyone particularly, everyone seemed to have a silent understanding not to infringe on other's spots. You looked around to see if a spot was available before reluctantly pulling out of the workers' parking lot, deciding to just park it out on the street for the day. You opted to park in the back so you wouldn't have to walk the distance, unable to go in through the front door. You went through the motions of clocking in, washing your hands and sanitizing them before making your way over to the counter.

"What can I get for you?" Your voice came out tired as you spoke, the only thought on your mind being what time you would get out of work. "Some service with a smile would be nice," the person retorted, your eyes almost rolling to the back of your head. You definitely didn't get paid enough for this shit. You repeated the same question back to them, forcing an unnatural smile to make its way to your face as you waited for their response. "I'll just get a small diet coke," they finally responded, inserting their card into the chip reader. You had half the mind to throw the empty cup at their head for making a big deal out of your customer service for what they'd ordered.

You resisted the urge to test out how good your aim was, opting instead to keep your job for a bit longer. You slid over the cup once you were done filling it up, going back to the register to take any other orders. It was slow, only a couple stragglers making their way inside to get a light breakfast before their shift at work. While Nueva York was known as one of the more dangerous cities to live in with all the villains crawling on the streets, the area of the city that you lived in was moderately calm. Only a few robberies here and there, one or two gang-related homicides. To say that you were used to these slow mornings was an understatement, getting used to seeing tourists' disappointment when this part of the city doesn't meet their level of excitement.

You headed out for a break outside of the restaurant, unable to stand the smell of grease lingering onto the kitchen. You weren't able to escape the smell much though, the stench clinging onto your clothes like it wanted to remind you of your place. You let out a small groan upon catching another whiff, taking your phone out to check the forecast and a couple of the news just to see if you'd be able to go on your date tonight. It was then when you saw a reporter broadcasting from the building across the restaurant, a man on a hover board playing with a couple bombs like he was juggling at the circus. You felt the impact before you saw it on your screen, the screams making themselves known in the chaos.

You headed over to where the news reporter had been standing just a couple seconds ago, a small crowd already gathered around to get a glimpse of the Green Goblin. The way they spectated around it made it seem like they were expecting for a celebrity to show up, the crowd bursting out into cheers after Spider-Man's red webs came into view. "Get him Spidey!" You heard in the background, the people breaking out into cheers of his name while he made his way over to the Green Goblin. You weren't sure how it was that these people managed to like him one day and dislike him the next, choosing instead to stay quiet and just watch the event unfold.

You looked over at Spider-Man as he dropped down to the floor, a brutal punch from the Goblin sending him rolling on the floor. He seemed to be looking around at the cars parked outside, almost like he was picking one out of a magazine offer to throw at him. 'Not my car, not my car,' was the only thought running through your head like a mantra, watching as Spider-Man approached the vehicles to take his pick for the Green Goblin. You knew that it was selfish, but you figured that the BMW parked next to your car could definitely afford to get it fixed if they were driving that around in these areas of Nueva York.

You let out a small whine as you saw him pick up your car with ease, swinging up to get some leverage on the villain before throwing it full speed ahead at him. All you could do was stare as your car flew in mid air, the people in the crowd only seeming to cheer even louder at how chaotic the fight was starting to become. The ringing in your ears got louder, every part of it blocking out except for the fact that you'd soon be without a car once it made its way back to the ground. The Green Goblin managed to get out of the way before your car hit him, the vehicle hitting the window of the building before slowly starting to make its descent. The shocking asshole didn't even make the shot.

"Can't help but feel bad for the poor loser that owns that car," you heard behind you, a couple of the people standing around making commentary like it was the hottest sports event they'd been to. "Think he's doing them a favor, can you imagine driving a piece of junk like that?" You heard another retort, your annoyance towards the situation growing even further. You glared over at the two of them, though the expression was ignored since their attention was solely locked on the maniac hovering amock on top of the building. You knew that it should be him that your anger is directed towards, but you couldn't help but be angry at Spider-Man for using your car without a care in the world. The way that he handled your property knowing that he couldn't get prosecuted for it just served to anger you even further.

For shock's sake. All you could do is stand there with your mouth agape as your car crashed down to the concrete, a wheel rolling off to the side. You weren't sure if you wanted to burst out into tears or if you wanted to start yelling at the mask-wearing asshole for not even making the shot. You looked over at your car, trying to convince yourself that the damage wasn't that bad. Well.. it might take a couple weeks of overtime but you were sure you could handle it. That was until a large piece of rubble from the building fell onto your car. You were dumbfounded, all you could do was simply blink as your car got crushed into mere metal. And if all the hope that was inside of you hadn't diminished yet, the engine burst out into flames a couple seconds afterwards.

Now you could definitely understand all the slander that J. Jonah Jameson had written about him. Shock, you were thinking of joining the Daily Bugle just to write your own article about him. The fact that your car was basically useless at this point and that you'd still have to continue paying for it kept ringing through your mind, every single outside noise making itself unknown as you looked at the pieces of metal sticking out from underneath the rubble. You were even thinking of getting an oil change soon. Well, not soon. But as soon as you managed to get a bit of disposable money. All the modifications that you'd planned for your car seemed pointless now, the one thing that you would be able to have in your name now destroyed.

The crowd burst out into cheers while you were still in the middle of seething to yourself, your mind calling Spider-Man a flurry of curses as you wrapped your mind around the fact that your car was destroyed. It didn't help that Spider-Man seemed so proud of getting back at the Goblin, stopping by the crowd and taking some pictures. The people immediately rushed over to his side, their phones out as their cameras flashed to try to snap a picture of the elusive hero. You stood off to the side, your arms folded as you waited to give him a piece of your mind. You were determined on getting some form of compensation after he'd fucked up your car, holding him responsible.

"Sorry, did you want a picture? We'll need to make this quick," Spider-Man spoke up when he saw you standing by the side, his large figure seeming more intimating as he stood in front of you. "No, what I want is my goddamn car back! It wasn't a damn ball for you to use! And you didn't even hit him with it!" Your voice came out frantic, more jumpy than you would've liked for it to be. You wanted your voice to portray the anger that you felt, but all you could feel is fear. Fear that you wouldn't have anything to navigate around the city with. "Oh. so you see.. I'm actually protected from anything involving public property. Lo siento," his voice didn't carry any sense of apology as he spoke, infuriating you even further.

"What the shock am i supposed to do with 'lo siento?!' And it wasn't public property, it was my private property!" You continued scolding at him, the annoyance that you felt starting to peek through the fear. "Is it really private property if you haven't finished paying it off yet?" He retorted, leaving you without an argument. He swung away before you had the chance to continue yelling at him, his red webs flashing across the buildings before disappearing completely. You couldn't help but stomp your foot in the ground, getting your phone out to call your insurance company to see what you could figure out about this situation.

"So, according to our system, you ended up getting our cheapest insurance option and unfortunately that means that your plan doesn't cover these types of damages. Your plan only covers Avengers-level threat and well.. the Green Goblin doesn't really qualify as one of those," the woman on the other line spoke up after clicking a few buttons on her computer, a groan threatening to make its way up your throat. She sounded sympathetic enough to the point where you didn't want to start complaining, but you couldn't help the hint of desperation that crawled up your voice when speaking.

"So is there anything else that I can do?" You asked her, your foot anxiously tapping on the sidewalk below you. "Hold on, let me connect you to someone else," she responded, the tapping on the other end resuming. “I don't want to speak to another rep-" your words got cut off by an elevator jingle, a couple advertisings being made here and there. What was supposed to be a calming waiting experience only served to stress you out further, your foot seeming to be tapping against the floor at a hundred miles an hour. Your eyes flickered around the mess, waiting for the elevator jingle to fade into good news.

"There's actually nothing that we can do in this situation," another voice came through the line after what seemed to be an eternity of waiting. "And you had to keep me on hold for the last five minutes just to say that?" You responded, starting to feel more tired than annoyed at the situation by this point. "Sorry about that. remember that your car payment's on the fifth of next month," the voice reminded you of your impending debt, a loud click sounding before the line ended. You made your way back into the restaurant, forcing a smile on your face as you took orders despite the fact that you wanted to curl up into a little ball and cry. Or yell. Whatever would help you feel better.

"Jess, can you come into my office for a second? It's a matter of life or death," Miguel spoke into his gizmo, waiting for a confirmation before he turned it off. Jessica appeared into his office in a couple seconds, her eyes widened in alert as she looked around for what was the life or death urgent matter. "So, walk with me through a hypothetical. Imagine you're broke and Spider-Man destroys your car. and you have a date with Spider-Man's alter ego. Except you don't know that it's Spider-Man until he decides to show you. How would you feel after that revelation?" Miguel asked her after the platform made its way down, Jessica’s face morphing into annoyance almost immediately.

"This isn't a matter of life or death first of all. Second of all, think I'd just drop kick you after the revelation. Did you even manage to land the car or not?" Jessica responded, making Miguel let out an annoyed huff as he ran through the possibilities in his mind. Though he'd had the same idea that she had, he didn't enjoy having them confirmed by someone else. "No," he admitted, glaring over at her when she started to laugh. "Good luck with that," she advised him, leaving the room to let him be with his own thoughts. He was more than certain he would need more than luck for this to work out in his favor.

He pulled up the tab for the dating app that Peter had signed him up, scrolling through your pictures like he wanted just the slightest sign that you weren't the same person. The more and more that he looked at the photos, the more that he tried to convince himself that something was off. Maybe that the angles didn't match up, that he believed he saw a beauty mark on the picture without having seen it on you today. But no matter how hard he tried, he knew that deep down, he'd destroyed his date's car. Even if he could get himself to disregard the fact for the date tonight, he knew that it would be haunting him later on. He felt the need to be completely honest with you in the ways that he could, wanting to show you every single part of him. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

While he'd been reluctant to actually giving in and trying out the app given the fact that he didn't have that much time to put into a relationship, he almost thought of himself as lucky for stumbling onto your profile. The conversations between the two of you was something that he looked forward to when he woke up in the morning and when he went to sleep at night. You were easy to talk to, someone that understood his dry sense of humor without taking offense to it. You'd even offered him some solutions to the problems he had going on despite not having much knowledge about the topic of hand, making sure that he'd put his well-being above anything else. He'd grown to care about you more than he initially anticipated for.

He'd never admit to it if you asked, but he found himself looking back at the nude photos that you'd exchanged with him. The way that your body sprawled out on your bedsheets, your lingerie clinging tightly onto your curves like it was begging for him to take it off. The teasing smile on your face as you looked up at the camera, making all the thoughts in his head disappear. All that had been running through his head upon seeing those photos was what he wanted to do you, his lips tracing every inch of your body as he worshipped you the way that you deserved to be. If he would have it his way, he'd make sure no inch of your body was left untouched by his lips.

He'd spent many nights with his hand tightly fisted around his cock, wishing that you'd be in the same room with him making him feel that level of pleasure. The sounds that you let out in the video you'd sent him were heavenly, a sensation coursing through him that he wouldn't be able to achieve even with the best produced porn video. It filled him with a sense of pride that it was him making you feel so needy, the small whimpers of his name making every nerve in his body short circuit. He knew that his hand wouldn't be able to compare to the way that you felt, the way that it would feel slipping inside of you for the first time. Your walls clenching tightly around his cock as you welcomed the intrusion, his pace gentle as he eased you into it.

He'd ignore the voices outside of his office just to get off to the thought of you, his fangs digging into his lower lip as he tried to muffle every sound that was eliciting from deep down. A quiet 'shock' here and there escaped from his lips, nothing that would alert any of the other members in the Society. The grip around his cock would tighten, like he was trying to do justice to the way that your pussy would tighten around him. His reddened tip kept leaking out precum, lathering his hand with every stroke that he gave himself. You'd become the object of every fantasy that he had, his work starting to get sloppy from the way that you'd been clouding his mind for days now.

Ropes of cum shot up to his stomach, a temporary relieve of the desire that had been brewing inside him. It was only a fleeting moment, before his thoughts returned back to you. It was a constant cycle of desire brewing morphing into a couple seconds of fleeting satisfaction, a burning inferno inside of him begging to be tamed with your fingers. To have your nails raking down his back, to seize every little gasp that you'd let out and every expression that would you make in the moment. He felt frustrated, at himself mostly. For letting himself get so pent up to the point where even the thought of you was a desire he couldn't fan down, of letting himself get so needy just for your touch.

To say that he was looking forward to the date with you was an understatement, having bought a new button down to prepare for it. He'd planned on taking the day early, taking the time to make sure he was well prepared for the date and going to buy you some flowers before he had to be at the restaurant. Every hope that he'd had towards the date quickly faded away, reminding him of what could've been. He almost wanted to kick himself for not picking the BMW parked next to your car. He hesitantly clicked on the 'block' button, though deep inside, he knew that you deserved more than just getting ghosted without any reason.

You ended up getting home later than you expected, getting lost in the subway system a couple of times before you managed to find your way. The date that you'd been looking forward to no longer seemed that exciting with all the events that had gone down tonight, and even if you were excited, you doubted you would be able to make it on time. You took out your phone to text Miguel that you wouldn't be able to make it, the text bubble turning green after you sent it. You wanted to lie to yourself and say that he didn't have any service, make any excuse for what you already knew deep down. A part of you didn't want to believe that you'd been ghosted, the conversations that the two of you shared almost seeming like out of a fairytale.

You tried sending him another message at a later time, only to find out that it met the same fate as your previous text. You slowly came to accept the situation for what it was, accepting the fact that you'd just been discarded like a toy. Though you weren't a stranger to getting ghosted on dating apps, this time, it seemed to sting more than the previous times. Maybe it was because you truly believed that it would go somewhere this time, that the two of you had formed a connection. You'd had the hope that he'd be the one you'd share those corny couple moments with, be the one who you'd go on dates with and have intimate moments with.

You ended up calling it a night early, all the lights in your apartment turned off as you snuggled with your fluffy blanket. You had a corny romance movie playing on the screen to get your mind off your current dilemma, to give you the chance to critique someone else's problems rather than dealing with your own. You'd bought a box of chocolates for yourself since they were a pretty decent price and it allowed you to indulge in the same things other people had on Valentine's Day, sticking them into your mouth as you watched the movie. You were doing everything in your power to avoid looking at your phone, to look through the messages you'd shared with Miguel just to have a reminder of what you could've had and of the texts that you'd romanticized so much in your head.

"Oh for fuck's sake, just say you love her," you muttered at the tv screen, rubbing your temples at just how overdramatized the whole plot was. Even after a while, the whole idea of making fun of fictional characters' problems lost its appeal. You turned off your tv, darkness enveloping your room instantly. You got up and cleaned up after yourself, making sure you hadn't left any chocolate remnants on your bedsheets or fingers. Despite having eaten half the box of chocolates, sleep washed over you with ease once you laid down. The grip that you had around one of your teddy bears was unrelenting as you slept, seeking out for some kind of comfort. Just having something there that would let you know it would be okay.

With all the hectics that happened last night, you'd forgotten to set your alarm early to make it to the subway on time. Despite the fact that you were basically working for minimum wage, your boss ordered you around like your service was what kept the restaurant running afloat. You got up from your bed after a couple minutes, already running the different excuses that you'd use. You figured that he wouldn't be exactly receptive to 'Spider-Man destroyed my only mode of transportation.' Your actions were slower than normal this morning, your fingers nimble as you buttoned up your shirt. The task had taken unnecessarily long, your mind constantly blanking out and forgetting about the task at hand.

You glanced over at the parking spot that your car used to occupy to notice a new suv parked in the spot, a red bow on top of it with a paper attached to the back of it. Your curiosity got the better of you, wondering who'd been so bold to park their car in your spot merely a day after it was unoccupied. You picked up the note, your eyes widening after you'd finished reading it.

'Sorry I messed up your car yesterday. I hope this makes up for it.

P.S. The keys are in your mailbox

P.P.S. Don’t worry about paying off your other car

- Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man'

You wanted to stay mad at the webbed asshole for treating your car as his personal play-toy but you couldn't deny the fact that this car was much nicer than the one you used to drive. It was nice enough where it would get you from one place to another with minimal bumps but not flashy enough that it'd get broken into. You folded the note and set it in your pocket, heading over to your mail room to get the keys. Sure enough, the keys to the car laid inside on top of the mail that you'd forgotten to get. You picked up the keys after a couple seconds, walking back over to your new car to get going to work.

—

tag list: @nixinluv02 @yournextbimbogf @ifiwasaguybrickedup @nympholove @pxtched @lazyjellyfish300 @yougavemeyourheartyouknow

564 notes · View notes

newtkive · 2 months

Text

shift shenanigans - social media au (pt. 2)

note: yes there’s the main work chat w carmy, the secret coworker chat w/o carmy, and the secret secret bestie chat w syd, marcus, and yourself. it would be canon.

warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes

part one

liked by carmyberzatto, marcus.brooks11 and 40 others

chefboyardee: life lately

see all 9 comments

syd_adamu: that pho was life changing

↳ chefboyardee: i think it was the best i’ve ever had

marcus.brooks11: feet off the table @syd_adamu

↳ chefboyardee: leave my girl alone

↳ richietheking: I knew you guys were lez

↳ syd_adamu: we aren’t and you can’t say that

↳ chefboyardee: oh.. we aren’t? ☹️😔

↳ syd_adamu: 😑

carmyberzatto: 🍲🔥

THE GOLDEN TRIO

[ 7:45 AM ]

y/n: did you see

did you see

did

you

see

ogmgokggkowkfofsk

syd: pardon??

what did richie do oh my god

did he post another picture of him with the gun from that one day

fuckkkk carmys gonna be so mad

marcus: nope i wish

y/n: he commented on my post 😭😭😭😭

syd: who

marcus: think about it

who else would cause this reaction

y/n: carmy!!!!!!!

i woke up to him commenting 🍲🔥 😍😍😍😍

syd: woah and the heart eyes?

y/n: no that’s my addition

syd: the bar is in hell

HES YOUR BOSS

y/n: AND I WANT HIS BABIES??

marcus: y’all so hype to be pregnant THEN BOOOMMM ‼️ THE BABY’S UGLY AND BALD WITH ECZEMA 😩🤨

syd: LMFAOOOOO WHOS YALL THO????

y/n: bye im done

im leaving for work.

don’t talk to me ever again

done.

marcus: bye 👋

why do you leave so early fool

syd: so she can be teachers pet

marcus: smh always there before everyone

y/n: not true.

syd: i thought you weren’t talking to us

y/n: 😒

marcus: want me to bring y’all an iced latte again

y/n: …. 😁

WORK

[ 8:15 AM ]

y/n: AYOOOO

great job cleaning up after work yesterday 😊👍

richie: Is this a joke?

y/n: why would i joke about such a thing

carmy: Y/n what are you doing

y/n: u said to tell everyone their housekeeping is shitty

carmy: No I said I was going to tell them that, and you said no I’ll do it

This is not what I meant

y/n: well you yell too much

marcus: ouch

that’s my station 😔

carmy: Well clean it better

y/n: im using reverse psychology and positive reinforcement

carmy: Not what that means

y/n: well notice how no one’s mad at me

im making alliances day by day

richie: You’ve worked here for two years and we are already friends

y/n: so you’re saying you aren’t my ally

richie: No

We are definitley in an alliance

y/n: love u richie

richie: Don’t go that far

chefboyardee’s instagram stories

WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩

[ 3:25 PM ]

y/n:

he so fine im bouta cermmmmm

syd: …..

marcus: :O

y/n: why are you acting shocked

like i haven’t said this daily

tina: Woah girl who?

y/n: HUH

richie: I’m not in the picture I don’t get it

syd: let’s just keep working before carmy notices

tina: I don’t care I’m on smoke break. Who are you talking about girl? Spill the tea..

marcus: she was talking about me you guys

y/n: the guy in the back

oh i mean yeah marcus

tina: The meat delivery guy? He has a wife..

y/n: we are having an affair

marcus: no it’s about me

richie: I didn’t know Marcus and Y/n were a thing..

tina: Something ain’t right. No way they are.

marcus: we aren’t it’s just our sense of humor

y/n: i was just being funny!

tina: What did Jeff just yell inside?

syd: came out of the office and said “just cuz we’re slow doesn’t mean you can play on your phones” 👍💯

tina: Whatever. No chance Y/n meant Marcus. You got the hots for Jeffrey?

y/n: what no

tina: Well I wouldn’t blame you. He’s cute

y/n: OMG RIGHTTTTTTT

its the tattoos isn’t it

richie: You have to be fucking joking

tina: I was playing..

y/n: im confused

syd: that was cruel

marcus: who cares it’s not a big deal

y/n: so you don’t think he’s cute tina?? ☹️☹️

tina: No he is cute… for you 😝

y/n: this is humiliating

richie: I’ll tell him

y/n: NO

stop

sSTOP THATS NOT FUNNY

richie im not joking i’ll put a bomb in your floorboards

richie: I’m just fucking with you kid

tina: This isn’t over.

THE GOLDEN TRIO:

[ 3:40 PM ]

syd: y/n….

marcus: you look like a ghost y/n

y/n: i cannot believe i sent that to the wrong gc

i’m done im so done

marcus: stop looking so sad it’s making me feel bad

syd: it’s okay! just be thankful it wasn’t to the work groupchat with him in it..

marcus: true it could be worse

y/n: i guess so

thank you for trying to cover for me marcus

marcus: anytime you know i got you

syd: let’s get back to work before we start looking obvious

606 notes · View notes

ladyelissarose · 10 months

Note

Can you do like Hobie smut, your writing is GOOD.

Let it be a jealousy kinda thing I haven't seen much of Hobie being jealous

‘I’ll Show You Jealous’

Hobie Brown aka Spider-Punk x female spider-woman reader. (he calls her ‘webs’)

Trope; best friends to lovers

Warnings; 18+ Smut! NSFW. Jealous sex, it starts quite rough then ends soft. Hobie being Hobie- but jealous ;) slight fingering.. mostly smut y’all .

Summary: Being best friends shouldn’t have any feelings in between right? Especially jealousy when Hobie thinks your hanging around too close to a certain Spider-Man? What does it take for him to come to terms on how he ‘really’ feels?

Authors note; My favorite anon!! I’m sorry it took me a few days to get this out, but I’m glad to say it’s all yours now! I hope you like it, I’ve never written for Hobie before!! Enjoy love!!🫶🏼🌻

“You see? That’s why I think you’re one of the funniest! You’re hilarious and you get my humor!”

An effortless chuckle left your lips as your hand slipped off of Ben Riley’s back, where it had been first when you patted it.

You two had just come back from a short mission, which was as per usual… putting an anomaly where it belonged, and making sure canon took place as it should. Hobie stood in the distance watching you both communicate so freely and happily, like if you had been best friends, like you were with Hobie. I mean, that’s all you too should of been.. best friends.

But in the pit of his stomach and behind his tough and sarcastic behavior about not liking commitment, all he wanted to do was commit his life to you, and make you more than his ‘best friend’. The only thing was.. he didn’t know how to tell or show you. So painfully he witnessed you give away your laughter and touch to someone else, if not others that weren’t him. So to avoid staring at this heartbreak, he went back to his universe.

Soon you had let Ben go and looked for the one that made you smile the biggest, warm your heart, and give you a certainty of safety and care no matter what crazy shit you two did. But, he was no where to be seen. A frown made it to your lips after you had checked everywhere, you even went up to Miguel’s lair to check if Hobie wasn’t lurking around and stealing his lunch- and yet, he wasn’t there. You sat for a minute and thought that maybe he went home, but… he always waited for you to come back from a mission, so you could eat together and go on a short ‘joy swinging’ across the universes.

Hoping you’d find him at his universe, you clicked on your gizmo and went to his place, falling in love with the aesthetic of it all as you arrived, and it reminding you of every detail about Hobie too. You swung around his home- he wasn’t there. At his favorite hideout clubhouse- he wasn’t there. Even stopped by the stand where he usually took a sweet bread or two without being seen- he wasn’t in sight. Finally stopping to take a break, you thought for a few seconds before it clicked for you.

“What the hell… where could you- oh! I know.”

What concerned you though about the place where he could possibly be, was the fact that you told each other that you’d go there if something was wrong or ‘a talk’ needed to happen, meaning it was very serious.

Upon arriving to the tallest skyscraper in your universe, you let out a sigh of relief as you found him there, playing a soft tune on his guitar.

You walked slowly towards him, knowing he’d feel your presence, as his spider senses would tell him immediately. You slid off your mask as you called out,

“Hobie?-“

Hobie’s shoulders tensed as he muttered immediately,

“Jus’ leave me be… please?”

Worry but you as you heard him, his slightly broken voice,

He’s never told you to leave him alone, instead the opposite, always subtly begging you to be around his presence, whether it was him lurking around with your favorite snack, or playing your favorite songs on his guitar. Hobie was smart, he found out ways to keep you around that didn’t include him actually telling or asking you to be… and so far it has worked like magic.

It was your smile that had him loosening up, the little squeals you let out when Mayday was being extra adorable, puppy eyes at the sight of kittens or his favorite of all time, your mere presence that gave him motive to fall for you.

With you he felt free and safe, he knew he’d give up an entire universe if that meant he could be with you. But lately as you’ve been given more privileges, you’ve been a little too absent for his liking, and he didn’t appreciate how you were hanging around Miguel and Ben Riley more than him.

Trust was something you too have built quite strongly sense the start of your friendship, and he should’ve confided in that trust and believe that you haven’t ghosted him for someone else… yet here he was… sadly plucking on his guitar strings to your favorite tune- ‘Vigilante Shit’… thinking that maybe you have.. but here you are. Speaking out to him as if you were desperate for him.

“Hobie please, I can help-“

“How’d you know I’d be here?”

With a scoff you recalled your guys’ words,

“We said we’d come here for something important.. and today I couldn’t find you anywhere.. so I thought this would be the place.. and here you are. So, what’s wrong Hobie?”

He then stood up and mumbled to himself,

“It’s nothing, I shouldn’t of come.”

Your spider senses heard him clearly tho, so before he was about to walk off you genuinely said,

“Hobie.. you know I’m here for you. Regardless of what it is.”

Hobie turned to you and walked close, watching how you didn’t walk back but stayed in place as his sassed,

“Are you sure? Didn’t think you’d be after being with everyone else all the time.”

You sensed his words, and could feel the weight of jealousy in them, it only caused you to realize that he felt just as protective of you, as you did for him… but you hid your jealousy better. So you took the chance to tease him,

“Are you jealous Hobie Brown-“

Rolling his eyes and crossing his arms he pouted defensively,

“No. Absolutely not-“

You tried to tease him more as you pushed the guitar on his shoulder,

“Then what’s wrong? Looks like you are jealous-“

He sent a playful snap at you so you wouldn’t touch his treasure as he did his best to reassure,

“Tis’ nothin’ webs… I promise.”

His closed off attitude told you it was more than nothing, and you wouldn’t have it.. not his half or full lies about what’s going on. Hobie was about to walk away past you, but you grabbed his arm and insisted,

“Hobie! If you don’t do or say something about what’s going on with you I will explo- MMPH!!”

His warm hands got a hold of your face, pressing a harsh kiss to your lips. Eyes going wide open at the shock his actions caused you, but you couldn’t pull yourself away.

Not when you could see the way he had his shut with force, and the how his long lashes that you were always jealous of brush over his cheeks… you couldn’t deny how much you loved every detail about him. Your heart fluttered at the feeling of the cool of his nose ring press up against your nose, and his soft breathing hitting you, his lip ring marking a place on your lip as he gave you a bruising kiss.

You didn’t realize how long it took you admiring what you’ve always loved about him before you reciprocated the kiss, brining him closer to you by the collar of his jacket. But he slightly pushed you away, and before you could interpret something wrong, he muttered against your lips,

“you think I’m jealous webs?”

With a short chuckle you replied with sass,

“I think you’re very jealous Hobie.”

He smirked and webbed you your hands in an instant, your eyes found his with matching glares, filled with desire. He then put you to lay on the edge of the building, your head leaning off as he growled,

“I’ll show you jealous.”

With expert hands he was able to find your hidden zipper and slide down your pants along with your panties, enough to free your cunt for him to touch. Your hands as they were webbed up, hung off the edge, dangling down, stretching you a bit. Hobie pulled you close to him by gripping your thighs tightly, then he tore the web off your wrists with the pick for his guitar.

You were just about to reach for him, but he pushed you back once again, and laying his pick between your teeth as he ordered,

“Love, you keep that there safe for me.. and these hands.. hold onto the edge… don’t touch me until I tell you.. understood?”

You nodded once, taking all his commands in, wanting to meet them all, but Hobie hovered his face over yours and asked calmly,

“Words love.. do you feel ok and safe?”

You knew if you had a problem with something he’d adjust the universe to your liking, but right now you felt good and desperation. So you worded with the pick in between,

“I feel goo’.. I just wan’ you… I nee’ you.”

Pressing a hard kiss to your lips, feeling his favorite metal pick touch him, it stirred him on to take you now. His fingers found your cunt and stuck two in, going knuckle deep as your were soaking and taking him smoothly. With pride he watched your face contort in pleasure, the most beautiful moans leaving your lips because of him.

Your chest heaved for air as he pumped harder and faster, wanting you to come apart by his hands. The beauty of the city lights below you couldn’t compare to you, you were far too bright and gorgeous, so many things at once you were and yet, you were the most fit and complete person he had ever seen.

Your walls squeezed around his fingers, informing him you were near as your moans turned into cries as well. He teased you a bit as he slowed the pace, hearing you cry for ‘him’ had him groan and feeling his pants tighten more.

“H-Hobie! Ah please! Please-“

��What do you want love-“

“More! More please..”

Your eyes teared up as you cried for him, wanting to feel more of him as he had spurred on your high then took it away. He sucked on his fingers, letting out a moan,

“Sweet as always love.. never doubted you..”

Hobie then kissed your face, letting you taste yourself on him as he took the pick from your lips and he unbuckled his pants, sliding them down as he worded to you,

“C’mere love.”

Latching onto him as your arms wrapped around him, he pulled you up into his lap, sitting where you were at the edge, while looking up to you as your face was almost right at his. You both were breathing hard as you ran your hands through his hair and rested the other on his neck, Hobie’s hands exploring your back and thighs while kissing your neck. It was an all new sensation you both felt, not wanting to end it and growing addicted by the second. Hobie’s cock rested between your thighs, hitting his stomach and leaking precum, it had you reaching for it and playing with the red tip. He pulled you in for a kiss as you began to take him into your hands. His hips bucked up as your hands slid up and down his large length, spreading his cum and rubbing the tip with your thumb. He was getting to his high not so slowly, your hands bringing him on faster than he thought, so he abruptly stopped you with a pleading voice,

“Please love, need to feel you.. ready?”

You were already lifting your hips over his tip as you responded,

“I’m so ready.”

It wasn’t long before you slid down on him, your soaked walls taking him in right away. Once he bottomed out you both knew deep down, that you wouldn’t last long.

He was so deep, his tip touching your cervix, Hobie picked you up as he gripped your thighs tightly, then he slid you back down, groaning into your lips at the pleasure he instantly felt. Hobie didn’t care and wasn’t afraid of the position he was in, as he sat at the edge of the skyscraper, with you in his lap taking all of him. He confided in his strength to withhold you, and make you feel good more than anything. You than began to bounce on his cock, letting out whimper’s and mewls when you slid back down, feeling the stretch overtake you. Hobie helped you speed up as he took control and moved his hips to meet you at every thrust. Warmth began to seep into your core again, but burning more this time. You pulled Hobie closer to you as you begged,

“I need you more- please!”

“I know my love.. me too.”

Hobie needed the same, and fully take control, so he changed positions and laid you on your back, wrapping your legs around his waist. You held onto his hands as they were above your head, and took a deep breath as you prepared for what came. With locked gazes, Hobie pulled back and thrusted into you right away, loving how you responded to him so well by clenching around him and moaning his name. Little by little he picked up his speed, knowing you both needed your much needed release, warmth engulfing you both as well as a passion for more.

Hobie railed into you now as he asked in between pants,

“Who do you belong to love?”

Breathing out a moan when he hit a particular spot, you cried out,

“Y-You! You Hobie!!”

Letting go of your hand to hold your hips down with extra force, Hobie punctuated each word with a harsh thrust,

“You. Sure. Love?”

Hitting your cervix every time had your toes curling and backs arching to him while you whimpered,

“Yes!! I’m yours Hobie Brown!!”

You could feel him throb inside of your walls, as you clenched around him, nearing your release. Hobie could feel the release nearing too, your warm walls taking him in and milking his precum into you. Now all he desired in that moment was for you to let go for him, and only him. Increasing his speed and piercing his grip into you, Hobie demanded with a sweet but firm tone,

“Beg for me love.. t-tell me who it is that is making you co-come.”

Doing his best to hold on a bit longer, Hobie awaited your answer, pleading from his heart that it’d be soon as he wished to claim you already and paint your walls with him. You clawed his back and pulled him closer, kissing his earlobe you then panted and moaned into his ear,

“Only you can Hobie.. please- ahh! Make me come- please please Hobie!”

His jealousy for you along with a new unlocked sensation… possessiveness, had him wanting to here you beg more.

“Beg me to make you come-“

He then lowered his hand to your clit, and began to rub tight circles around your bud, urging you to cry out in a desperate tone, tears evident that you were desperate.

“-AHH!! Oh Hobie! Please- please baby make me cum! Only y-you can!! So p-please!!”

Letting out a deep breath Hobie moaned into your hair,

“Come my love, come wi’ me.”

Feeling him pulsate along with his sharp thrusts, had you coming undone under his arms, coating his cock with your juices. Hobie brought you in for a deep kiss when he came, swallowing yours and his moans as he then slowly rode out both of your highs, wanting it to last a little longer. He was the opposite from how he started, which was rough… but now he gave gentle strokes, only pulling away when you told him it was too sensitive now. You were both out of breath and pulling away at once to catch some air, your chests touching from how close you were but also how much air you were taking in. Hobie gave your forehead a short but meaningful kiss before pulling away, but instead you pulled him in for a hug, hiding your face in his neck as you reassured him,

“I’ll only and always be yours Hobie Brown.. I promise.”

Hobie squeezed you tight and was grateful for your embrace, and he ran his fingers through your hair, as he returned the promise,

“I’ll be yours too love.. forever.”

Your eyes twinkled, as he confessed,

“I’m sorry I never made it clear webs.. but I do love you… very much so.”

With a soft peck you replied,

“I love you too… I always have Hobie.”

In a silence you too held each other, satisfied with your actions, more in love and thriving for more days like this to come.

Maybe this love making session was unexpected and out of the blue for the both of you, but it felt so right, and so good. A little breeze of wind then brushed by, causing you to shiver a bit in Hobie’s arms, a second didn’t go by when he suggested,

“Let’s get us home yeah? Don’ want ya to get cold lovie…”

Carefully he helped you put back on your suit, being extra touchy but extremely gentle as he zipped you up (but he didn’t do this before taking a look at your- his cunt now dripping from his cum.

Soon you too helped Hobie with his pants, and getting his guitar safely back into his hold. Both slipping on your masks, you were ready to swing home, but your legs were a little to wobbly for your liking. Hobie caught the slight stumble before holding you up and telling you,

“I’ll carry you home.. on my back lovie.”

With you tightly secured around him, he took off and swung towards home, going through the city so you could have the last look of the city night lights… as he knew it was one of your favorite parts of being Spider-Woman. Efficiently he swung by a stand full of flowers, plucking one off and easily giving it to you, a smile made it to your face as the rose was given to you with a brush of his hands touching yours. You blushed hard like if it was the first time he touched you, and hadn’t just made love to you on the tallest building of your city.

You never felt fear as you embraced him with the rose in your hand tightly. You trusted Hobie’s skills as you had seen them be incredibly strong and capable of much, while swinging he’d collect something he’d like and hand it to you.. so far you have 3 different flowers and a lollipop. Hobie had sticky fingers.. but you didn’t mind it, he wasn’t selfish with his findings.

It didn’t take long when you finally arrived at your balcony, he made sure your feet were flat on the ground before letting you go. Walking into your dark home didn’t feel lonely and filled with void like before, now you held Hobie’s hand tight as you led him to your room, wordlessly telling him you really wanted him to stay the night, if not forever. You both jumped into the shower wanting it to be quick, your night having been long and you both were craving to lay down in one another’s arms. Hobie’s hands never left your body as he helped you scrub down, he never looked at you like you’re a piece of meat.. but as if you were such a treasure to behold. It didn’t matter about your battle scars or the shape of you, he was now addicted and more in love. You treated Hobie the same way, wanting to show him that you indeed wanted him and him only, asking him questions about how he does his hair and wanting to memorize his steps to keep his styled hair in tact (as you loved how his hair looked) Drying off in fluffy towels, and sharing the air-blow dryer, you too were soon ready for bed. Hobie lifted you up from the thighs and carried you in, laying you down gently and pecking your lips all so romantically, before plopping himself on top of you. A breathy groan left your lips as he cuddled into your stomach, acting innocent and slightly ignoring how he had dropped onto you. He made sure he was in a good spot, not wanting his hair to be in your face, but close enough where you can rub his head. Soft kisses were given on your tummy as he worded again and again, softly yet possessively,

“You’re mine.. all mine. This body, your heart… you. Right baby?”

You could never say no.

“Yes baby.. all yours.. all of me.”

He smiled to himself as he lastly cooed,

“I love you..”

His chest warmed up as he heard your reply,

“I love you more..”

#hobie brown #astv hobie #hobie x you #hobie x reader #atsv x reader #atsv smut #hobie brown smut #spider punk #spider punk x reader #hobie spiderverse #hobie smut #spiderman across the spiderverse #spider punk x you #spider punk smut #asks open #asks answered happily

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punksocks · 7 months

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Astrology Observations: No.25

*just based on my personal observations, only take what resonates

Omg my first degree theory observation was wrong Danial Kwan has moon at 18 degree, a Virgo degree ! (My bad y’all I’m learning). I’ll say that he had to get a hold of his mental health while in Covid and his adult adhd diagnosis and that influenced the writing of everything all at once (Imma learn this lol, more studying must be done)

Ok better degree theory lol, the degree of your Venus and/or mars can show placements you attract. My Venus is at a cancer degree and I’ve dated a l o t of people with Cancer placements (an experience lol)

A guy’s Lilith can show that his sort of femme fatale attraction (type of girl that overstimulates him, makes him feel enamored but is also his weakness.) His Lilith placement can describe this femme in more detail. For Aries, a go getter that takes no shit (I believe @zeldasnotes said Lilith in Aries in a man’s chart is a strong indicator that he’s a feminist and I totally agree.); For Sagittarius she’d be untethered and have a great sense of humor and may be outside of his culture. For Aquarius she’d be idealized as a manic pixie dream girl, like quirky in a way he could never figure out. let me know if you all would like a whole post on this !

Only outer planets (Uranus, Neptune, Pluto) in your 1st can give you an extra ordinary appearance and make you stand out quite a bit.

Your mars conjunct to someone’s sun can make them feel competitive with you. Venus on the other hand can make you put the sun person on a sort of pedestal and can make the relationship feel like you’re a fan of the sun person. Moon to someone’s sun can feel more at home and at ease.

Men with water Venuses seem to be super monogamous or like incapable of monogamy (which is fine lol, but be ethical about it and establish boundaries and don’t cheat yo)

12th house synastry is sticky asl, as soon as you moved on someone just appears on your mind out of nowhere, lotta hidden energy all tied up together; 8th house synastry is really intense but it’s often hard to build something stable out of the intensity. 4th house feels like home, but as someone with Uranus over their 4th, I associate this synastry with being unpredictable and chaotic in familiar way. 5th and 11th house synastry is my personal favorite long term. 5th house means you feel fun and creative and always excited together. And 11th house will mean that there’s a feeling of friendship underneath the passion that usually sustains the connection imo.

For all of the seriousness associated with Capricorn placements (especially suns) often focus on a lot on whimsy in their creative works, like it’s the outlet for a lot of their hidden optimism (Hayao Miyazaki, Nobuhiko Obayashi the director of Hausu).

Ok ok I know Scorpio risings are known for intense, bedroom eyes and their overwhelming s*x appeal and making suitors flee because they’re so intimidated etc etc… but quietly I think our biggest weapon that people don’t see coming is our sense of humor. (Honest to god I was thinking of how funny Hugh Grant is even though he doesn’t need to be bc he’s been so handsome this whole time lol. He always puts in the effort into that comedic timing) (Also people still think if you’re hot and intense you can’t be funny so it defuses some of the tension pretty well imo)

I feel like Virgo placements always seem to think they feel boring even though they’re like very knowledgeable and compelling in their own right (I’m getting all reflective and remember when like Virgo moons/mars would always ask if they’re being boring or complain about being boring but they tend to be my favorite conversationalists because they analyze things so deeply)

I think cancers are actually the most defensive sign, naturally. I want to say they have this in common with their sister sign bc Capricorns are defensive and don’t like to show “weakness”. But the way that underdeveloped cancers (can) play the victim when scrutinized is different. (Like Capricorns do that earth sign thing where they use their perception to make you feel like you’re wrong, and they want to be seen as the authority not the victim). Where cancer is in your chart could show where you’re especially guarded and trying to protect your sensitivity.

To me Jupiter conjunct south node means you’ll reap benefits of good karma from a past life (or the effects of bad karma will be a lot in this lifetime but I saw this in obama’s chart and it’s a benefic planet so the first thing is what I thought of lol)

#sorry been super busy lately lol #but I’m back #astro observations #astro notes #astroblr #astro community #astrology #lilith astrology #venus #mars #8th house #12th house #5th house #4th house #11th house #Capricorn #cancer #Virgo #scorpio rising

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apclyptc · 5 months

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NSFW ALPHABET— CHRIS STURNIOLO

warnings— obviously suggestive content, if u don’t like don’t read kinda thing. nsfw will be under the cut!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

chris does his best with aftercare i feel like. he’ll always bring you a towel, ask if you want anything like a drink or even just a cuddle.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he loves everything about you, he doesn’t seem like the type to be judgemental about anyone’s body. but he specifically loves your hips, and always wants to have his hands on them whether that’s in bed or just in public. as for himself, he likes his back. especially when your scratch marks are all over it.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

loves cumming on your face. i said what i said. there’s something so hot about seeing your cute innocent face ruined with his cum. also in your mouth. chris loves seeing you swallow every last drop.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

has a pair of your panties in his room. whenever he can’t be around you, he will use the underwear to get off. he’s not even ashamed about it.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

definitely not a virgin. he’s not like some crazy sex fiend but he has enough experience to know what to do. he also has a need to be good at everything so he makes sure he knows exactly what you like.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

doggy. he is a doggy man. buuuuut when he’s feeling extra clingy he wants you to ride him so he can see your pretty face.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

definitely likes to have fun with it, chris doesn’t take anything too seriously so it makes sense that he is the same in bed. it’s only when he’s close to finishing that he gets really into it.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he doesn’t like to be completely bare down there. it feels weird. but he would also die of embarrassment if he wasn’t well groomed so he keeps the hair short and tamed to prevent any awkwardness when y’all are going at it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he can deny it all he wants but he would be sooooo lovey. of course, if he’s been stressed lately or you tease him too much, he gets kind of wild.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

would honestly prefer you do it for him. but if you aren’t with him, he just goes to his photo collection of you or the video you made together and uses that instead.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

chris is a simple guy. he’s not overly kinky but he does enjoy to give you light slaps from time to time. and he’s a sucker for fucking you to the point you can’t even speak. and then there was that one time with the handcuffs…..

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

he doesn’t really venture out anywhere other than his and your bed. or sometimes the couch in the warehouse. and over the desk in the conference room. and sometimes public bathrooms. and also the kitchen. actually he’s pretty much down to go at it anywhere as long as there’s no one around.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

if you wear his clothes, he can not do anything all day until you have sex. if you play with his hair he will be in the mood instantly. he’s always ready whenever the fuck you want him. (lol.)

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

would never consider a threesome. he’s too possessive for that. he’s also not a fan of choking. he just doesn’t want to risk hurting you in a bad way.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

no one can convince me that this man isn’t a munch. he just loves eating you out. and he’s good at it too. he would happily do it for hours. as for receiving, he loves that too. especially if he’s had a rough day, the best way for him to relax is if he’s fucking your face.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

chris likes to start off slow and gradually go faster. but it’s a different story if you’ve teased him, he will refuse to go faster just to annoy you. if you’re in missionary he enjoys going slow too, it feels more intimate that way.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

quickies whenever, wherever. he does not care. he still prefers to take his time in bed with you, but he is never opposed to a quick fuck.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

there was one time when you almost got caught by his parents. and that one time where you actually got caught by nick. after that, you both agreed not to be too risky when others were around.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

chris is too obsessed with you to last for a lot of rounds. it’s usually one or two, but he always makes sure he lasts longer than you.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he never uses any on himself. not when he has you. he does have a couple for you, but why use them when he doesn’t need them? he can do it all by himself.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

chris was born to tease. in any setting, he loves to make you needy . he finds it especially fun to tease you when there are others around. it’s unnoticeable things, like placing a hand on your upper thigh, sneaking a hand underneath your top, whispering things in your ear about all the things he wants to do to you when you’re alone. it drives you crazy.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

even if he tried, chris can’t help but be vocal. whether it be grunts or soft groans, he always vocalises how good you make him feel. when he’s close, you have him fully moaning and sometimes the occasional whine slips out if he’s really into it.

he does it on purpose sometimes because he knows you like it.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

chris often rips apart your panties when you fuck just so he can take you to buy more and get you to try them on in the fitting rooms. he always ends up following you in just so he can fuck you in front of the mirror.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

what chris doesn’t have in girth, he makes up for in length. his dick is the perfect amount of thickness that you like, with an impressive size that he knows how to use. the veins on either side make his dick truly delicious.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

this guy doesn’t have an off switch. he’s so attracted to you, even just seeing a photo you send him makes his pants tighten and he can’t help but need you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he usually just waits until you fall asleep to get comfortable. most of the time neither of you fall asleep so he gets to talk to you and cuddle while you relax.

a/n: matt next? hope u enjoyed my take!

#chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo x reader #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #the sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo oneshot #chris sturniolo smut

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bastardmandennis · 9 months

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gasoline (you're such a tease)

neighbor!joel x fem reader

Summary: Your car breaks down in front of Joel’s driveway. Being the good neighbor he is, he offers to help fix it.

Warnings: SMUT!!! SMUTTY SMUT like so much SMUT. age gap (reader is mid-20s, Joel is late 30s), no y/n or physical description of reader, takes place in 1997 (no outbreak!), semi-public grinding (for like a second don’t worry), uhh. riding, teasing, unprotected sex (pls do not do this irl), car talk, author clearly knows nothing about how cars operate (my b), dirty talk, very light choking, reader is kind of a crybaby/brat, i think that’s it but pls let me know if i missed anything!

Word count: 4.8k (told ya it got away from me)

A/N: woo lordy….this one did me in. took forever for no reason, but it’s here! title comes from gasoline by haim/t swift bc i just recently learned how hot this song is and it will not leave my brain. anyway please enjoy the bare minimum plot and all the smut! love y’all, thank you for reading!

Read part two here

“Hey,” he calls. Nods his head to the open hood, the way Joel is clenching the dirty rag in his hand. “What happened?” “Car broke down,” Joel grunts. Your eyes flick to him–he looks pissed. Your dad tsks and opens his mouth, probably to lecture you about the lack of proper car maintenance, but you cut him off before he can say anything. “It’s alright, dad. Thank god Joel was here to help me–he’s real good with his hands.” You turn to Joel, your bright smile the picture of innocence. He’s so stiff, eyes boring into you as if to say what the hell are you doing? “Right, Joel?”

“Please, please, don’t stop now,” you beg your car. You can see your driveway not even 300 feet in front of you. Your car has been sputtering, jerking back and forth for the past mile and a half. If I can just get to the driveway, I can call dad for help.

You’re really regretting not paying attention the last time he fixed your car for you, yelling instructions from underneath as you half-listened, too focused on your hot neighbor out mowing his lawn. Mumbling an uh-huh every few minutes, mouth dry as you watched Joel Miller strip his flannel off, mopping his forehead with the discarded shirt. The way he lifted his hand in greeting when he finally saw you staring. How you quickly looked away from his big brown eyes, embarrassed he caught you creeping.

Now you’re praying Joel isn’t home to see you struggle down the street–never mind hear you, car whining and groaning in a way that anyone in a four-block radius would have to be fully deaf to miss. Fuck. You send a quick prayer up to anyone listening, please, just let me make it to the driveway. I swear I’ll never ask for anything else, ever. You inch closer and closer, the empty spot in the family driveway practically calling your name.

Whoever’s up there must have a sick sense of humor. Your car rolls to a stop just before you can reach the driveway. You yank the wheel to the side, bumping the curb slightly before the car settles with a low sputter. Your head drops to the steering wheel with an angry beep that echoes through the quiet neighborhood and you can’t help the tears that begin to fall.

A quiet tap on your window breaks your self-pity session. Speak of the devil. You swipe the tears off your face, try to smooth your hair down as best you can before reaching over to crank the window down. He’s silent as you roll the window down slightly, dark eyes unreadable.

“Hi, Mr. Miller,” you say, defeated.

“There a reason you’re parked in front of my driveway?” he asks slowly.

You crane your neck to look behind him. His truck is stopped haphazardly behind your car and you realize that yeah, your car would roll to a stop right in front of his driveway, blocking the whole thing and making it impossible for him to get up. Because the universe hates you, clearly.

Your face heats in a blush. “Not really, I mean, my car just kind of shat the bed here, it’s not…sorry.”

Joel stares at you. Straightens up, looks at your pathetic junker. Scratches a hand through his patchy beard with a sigh. He doesn’t look angry, which is a relief, just tired. You know the feeling.

“Okay,” he finally says. “Lemme help you. Your dad home?”

You point to your house. The lights are all off and clearly no one is home. You know you’re on your own for now–dad at his softball game, your mom out shopping with her friends. The thought of being alone now brings more tears to your eyes and you look away before Joel can see.

He looks flustered by your sudden tears. “Hey, hey,” he says softly. “’s alright, sweetheart, I’ll help ya. Got a phone inside you can use, yeah? Your dad got a cell phone?” You nod, and he looks relieved. “Good, okay, see? Not too bad. Come on inside with me.”

Joel slaps the roof of the car as he straightens up and you jump. You quickly wipe your face again and heave a sigh. His face twitches into a small smile at the sound, arms crossed across his broad chest. His hands flutter around you as you step out of the car before one lands on your back. His palm is warm through your thin t-shirt and you shiver. He rubs once, twice, and guides you up the driveway into his house.

You can feel the brand of his palm long after he drops his hand. You stand awkwardly in the kitchen as he moves around, grabbing two beers out of the fridge and plunking one down in front of you. Twists the caps off of both and brings the bottle to his lips, stopping before he takes a drink.

“Go on.” He nods to the bottle in front of you. “Y’are old enough, right? Thought your dad said you were done with college now, figured…”

“Yes,” you whisper. Pull the bottle to you, fidget with the paper label. “Yeah, I mean, I am. Old enough.”

He hums, satisfied. His dark eyes never leave you as he sips his beer. There’s a little foam on the edge of his mustache and you want to reach out and wipe it away. He nudges the cordless phone to you and you take it, fingers brushing as you grab it.

Joel clears his throat, tips his head towards what you assume is the living room. “Be right out there, ’f you need me.” You nod and he stares for just a moment, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. Rubs his palm on his jeans and nods at you, disappearing to the living room.

You take a deep breath and dial your dad’s number. The phone rings and rings and you wander over to stand in front of the fridge as you wait. A postcard from Jackson, Wyoming hangs next to a Polaroid of Joel with his arm around a dark-haired man, their grins too similar to mark them anything other than related. Another Polaroid hangs off center, Joel with his daughter, Sarah. You’ve seen her a few times, knew through overhearing your mom’s gossip that he’d moved here last summer, that Joel and Sarah’s mother were long divorced, but Sarah still stays with her every summer. Doesn’t look like she’s here now, which you’re grateful for–the less witnesses to your embarrassing meltdown, the better.

The click of the phone breaks your thought. No answer, not that you really expected one–your dad was serious about his guy time not being interrupted, no matter what. You stare at the keypad, fighting back the sudden tears. You’re tired, it’s been such a long day–all you want to do is get your stupid car home and collapse in bed and not move for the next twelve hours, but no. Nothing is ever that easy.

Your mind races as you try to figure out your next move. Imagine asking Joel, this man you barely know, to help you push your car out of the way. At first the thought makes you smile, imagining him struggling to push your beater down the street. But then you start to picture him getting so hot in the late afternoon sun that he has to take his shirt off, obviously, the muscles in his back bunching and glistening with sweat as he grunts–

You take another deep breath. Shuffle to the living room. Joel’s sprawled out on the couch, but when he sees you standing awkwardly in the doorway he sits up.

“Everything alright?” he asks.

“No one’s answering,” you mumble. You can’t look at him, picking the label off the bottle in your hand. “I’m really sorry, Joel, I’ll just–I can call…” you trail off.

The thunk of the bottle on the coffee table draws your eyes back to him. His brows are scrunched, hair wild where it curls over his ears. Your hand twitches; you want to reach out and smooth it down for him.

“Nothin’ to worry about, darlin’,” he says softly, as if he’s doing his best not to spook you. Or he doesn’t want to see you cry again. “Why don’t you stay here until someone’s home, hm? Can take a look at your car too, ’f you want.”

“I don’t want to bother you,” you say.

Joel raises his arms and gestures to his empty house, his worn t-shirt pulling across his shoulders. “Does it look like I’m doin’ anything else?”

That finally makes you smile and he looks pleased at your reaction. He stands and stretches his arms over his head. Your eyes drag to the slip of tanned skin you can see above the waistband of his jeans, the hair there that’s just starting to speckle with gray disappearing down down down. You shake your head and look at the half disintegrated label beneath your fingers instead. You know you’re a lightweight, but it’s more than the beer causing the sudden butterflies in your tummy–Joel is hot, yeah but also…surprisingly nice.

He brushes past you in the doorway. Stops to look at you, brown eyes searching yours. His eyes flick to your lips, the bottom caught between your teeth. His thumb smooths over your lip and pulls it free. His eyes meet yours again and he smiles, stepping away. You blink and he’s across the kitchen as if nothing happened.

“Any day now,” he calls over his shoulder. The kitchen door slams and you let out a shaky breath, trying to ignore the sudden heat pooling in your stomach.

By the time you compose yourself enough to get outside, he’s already got the hood of your car up, bent over the engine. A wrench lays next to an oil-stained rag, which he uses to wipe his forehead with. A bead of sweat rolls from the back of his neck down his shirt. You want to follow it with your tongue, taste the salt on your lips.

He hears your footsteps and turns, wiping his fingers on the grimy rag. “’Bout time, sweetheart. You get lost in there?”

You roll your eyes and make a face at him. He smirks and throws the rag down, turning to face you. Starts to explain what’s wrong with your car, the hose or clamp or whatever it is that you need to replace, asap. You can’t stop staring at his hands, his long fingers as he gestures wildly and points, the way he twists the caps on and off with ease. He’s still talking as he takes the rag to his fingers, scrubbing at the oil from in between as best he can. Your throat goes dry.

He’s like 40, you remind yourself, but the reminder of his age doesn’t stop your sudden dirty thoughts like it should. You take in the gray streaks in his unruly hair, the scruff lining his jaw. How the veins in his hand seem bulge when he gets really worked up about the engine fluid or whatever he’s talking about.

You can’t help thinking of the way his hands would feel on your body, how his thick fingers would feel wrapped around your neck…or inside you. Your face flushes and you shift, interrupting whatever Joel was saying about the car.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he drawls. “’M boring you or somethin’?” A smirk pulls at his lips.

“N-no,” you croak. “I’m listening. You were saying something about the engine…cap.”

He doesn’t look convinced but he nods. “See that hose there? Needs replacin’ as soon as ya can, or you’re not going anywhere.”

The engine is a mess of cables, clamps and hoses twisting everywhere. You give him a blank look and he heaves a sigh. Grabs you by the shoulders and moves you to stand in front of him, so you’re both looking down at the engine block. He leans over your shoulder and points to a rusted piece of metal in the middle somewhere.

“Right there,” he murmurs in your ear. He’s so close and he smells so good–sweat and oil and some kind of manly body wash. And god he’s so solid behind you, so warm, you just want to lean back in his arms and never leave.

“Oh, right,” you say weakly. His heart beats steady behind you as you both peer into the mess of an engine. You’re so close, what if you just… you shift your weight onto the other leg, accidentally on purpose leaning back into him. Your butt brushes the front of his jeans lightly and he freezes.

His voice is a low rumble. “What do you think you’re doin’ here?”

His hands are gripping the edge of the car, caging you in beneath him, and you grab one without thinking. Pull it up and trace the veins along the back of his hand all the way up his arm. Your finger grazes the inside of his elbow and he lets out a stuttered breath.

Suddenly he presses you against the front of the car, bending you slightly so he can press the bulge of his jeans hard between your legs. You try to muffle the whine that slides out when his hand snakes around and covers your mouth.

“Shh, gotta be quiet,” he murmurs in your ear. You can only nod, overwhelmed by the feeling of him crowding you in, draping himself over you in a way that anyone driving by would know what was going on if they saw. The thought shouldn’t send a spike of arousal through you, shouldn’t have your clit throbbing in time with your heart. You shift again, brushing against where he’s hard and he groans, a deep thing that you can feel rumble through your whole body.

“Fuck, baby,” Joel says. He sounds as wrecked as you suddenly feel. Grips your hip with his other hand and grinds his hips into yours, slow and dirty. You moan, loud even with his hand over your mouth, and his hand slides down, gripping the sides of your neck. He squeezes once lightly, a warning, and your pulse takes off like a rocket.

“Joel, please,” you whisper. Your head is spinning and he hasn’t even done anything yet.

“Yeah, pretty girl? So desperate, can’t even wait til we’re inside, huh? Fuck. You that needy for me?” His voice is low in your ear, hand settling right under your breast, spreading over your ribs. You whine and shift again, trying to get him to move his hand up where you want it, but he’s too solid behind you. Doesn’t budge until you push back against him again, rocking your hips into his. He grunts and his hand flexes, reaching up to tweak your nipple through your shirt.

You whimper and he pulls you impossibly closer, breathing heavily in your ear as he traces around your nipple until you’re squirming. “Joel, touch me,” you demand.

“Yeah dirty girl, want me to put my hands on you out here, right where anyone can see us? That what you want?” His voice is low, dangerous.

What a sight you’d make if anyone drove by right now: you bent over the hood of your car, panting as Joel stands behind you and ruts into you, his big hand covering your chest and pulling you back to grind into him. The image is pornographic but you feel greedy–you want more, more, more.

“Y-yes, anything,” you whimper. Your head drops back onto his shoulder. You want to say more, to tell him how hot this is–how hot he–is, but all that comes out is a pitiful groan.

His chuckle vibrates through your body. His other hand inches slowly down your body, catching on your hip and dragging across your stomach to land right above where you need him most. You’re slick, practically dripping, just from a few light touches–you can feel the wet spot on your panties growing the longer he stands there. You can’t find it in yourself to be embarrassed, not when Joel sounds just as wrecked behind you.

Your hand rests on his, trying unsuccessfully to pull it lower to where you’re wet and aching. He doesn’t move and you huff again.

“Joel–”

“I think,” he says, brushing his fingers across the waistband of your shorts, ignoring your groan, “I think we better take this inside, yeah? Gonna let me take you inside, sweetheart, open up this pretty pussy? Fill you up with my fingers, my cock, bet you’re already so wet for me, pretty girl.”

You suck in breath, dizzy with his proximity and his filthy words. You’re so turned on you know you’d let him do anything. You reach your hand behind you and palm his cock, solid through the denim of his jeans. He grunts and snaps his hips into your hand.

“Joel, I–”

The distant crunching of tires along asphalt has you springing apart–Joel hunches over the engine, covering his hard-on from whoever is driving by, staring down at the ground with a frown. You take a deep breath and grab the abandoned wrench, nodding as if you have any idea what you’re looking at down there. A smile ghosts over Joel’s lips, so you must not be that convincing. Whatever.

The car slows next to you, the man reaching over to roll the passenger window down. He waves to the two of you and you want to groan; your dad really has the worst fucking timing.

“Hey,” he calls. Nods his head to the open hood, the way Joel is clenching the dirty rag in his hand. “What happened?”

“Car broke down,” Joel grunts. Your eyes flick to him–he looks pissed.

Your dad tsks and opens his mouth, probably to lecture you about the lack of proper car maintenance, but you cut him off before he can say anything.

“It’s alright, dad. Thank god Joel was here to help me–he’s real good with his hands.” You turn to Joel, your bright smile the picture of innocence. He’s so stiff, eyes boring into you as if to say what the hell are you doing? “Right, Joel?”

He clears his throat. Tears his eyes from you and mutters something about replacing a part. Whatever he says must convince your dad everything’s under control, because he finally leaves with a wave and a light honk. You both watch silently until he finally goes into the house.

“The hell was that?” Joel grinds out.

“What? It’s the truth,” you shrug. He sighs, rubs a hand through his beard. There’s a smudge of grease on the side of his neck.

“What am I gonna do with you, darlin’?”

“Take me home?” you suggest.

For the second time that day, he guides you into his house with a hand low on your back. The difference is this time he doesn’t drop it once you’re inside, using it to push you impatiently up the stairs, past a pink bedroom you assume is Sarah’s to a room at the end of the hall. It’s dark and manly and smells like him. It’s a surprisingly clean room–he really is an enigma, your neighbor Joel. You wander over to the bookshelf across the room, running your hand over the comforter spread across his bed, tilting your head to read the spines of the books scattered haphazardly.

“See anything you like?” Joel’s voice rumbles from the doorway. His arms are crossed, leaning back against the wall as he watches you. You feel a tug of arousal at his deep voice, his broad arms bulging, the smirk on his face, just–him.

“Hm, I don’t know,” you tease. You sit at the very edge of his bed, watch his eyes track you as you lean back on your elbows, spreading your legs. “Maybe if you were closer–”

He’s across the room before you can finish speaking, pushing your spread legs open even wider with his thick thighs. He grips your jaw and squeezes lightly, forcing your eyes up to his. You haven’t even kissed yet, you realize, and like he has the same thought, he bends down to nip your bottom lip before soothing it with his tongue.

“Here now,” he drawls. “But I think we could be–closer.”

He pushes you down onto the rumpled comforter and cages you in. Lowers his hips until you can feel the hard press of his cock. The movement catches the seam of your shorts on your clit and you whine, grab at his arms.

He noses at the side of your jaw, lips pressing lightly. Bites down hard enough to make you gasp. He presses a kiss to the side of your mouth, smiling when you turn your head for more.

“Stop being a fucking tease,” you whine. Lock your legs around his waist and pull him down into you. His groan is muffled but you can feel it vibrate through your body.

Finally, finally, he gives you what you want, dipping close to kiss your top lip, then the bottom. You grab his face and kiss him again like you’ve been wanting to do all afternoon. Joel’s mouth is firm and confident and when he slips his tongue into your mouth you’re reminded of the ache between your legs. You push him away and he immediately backs away with wide eyes.

Until you tighten your legs again and roll in an attempt to flip him over. His lips twitch like he’s trying to hold back a laugh.

“Can you just–get over,” you mutter. “Wanna be on top.”

His hands tighten over your thighs. “Okay, pretty girl. Whatever you want.”

It’s a flurry of limbs and clothes as you reposition yourselves. You can only stare as he pulls his shirt off from behind, throwing it off to the side without a care in the world. He’s so…beautiful, all tanned skin and shifting muscles. His eyes drop to your chest as you pull your tank top off, groaning at the skimpy bralette you have on underneath.

His eyes are dark and wild as he grips your waist and hauls you closer, settling you on his lap with an oof. It’s like his hands can’t stay still, wandering around your newly exposed skin. You tug his hands impatiently to your heaving breasts, so warm in the cool air.

“Where do you want me? Here,” he rubs his thumbs over your nipples lightly, “or maybe here?” He trails his hand to the waistband of your shorts, thumbing the button open and dipping down to feel your skin.

“Anywhere, please Joel, come on,” you babble. You’re so turned on you can’t even be embarrassed at how ridiculous you probably sound.

His thumb slows, disappearing into your open shorts to lightly trace the outer edge of your panties. Stops when you whine and move your hips, pressing you down hard onto his cock.

“You think you deserve to come, after the shit you pulled outside? Or did that get you hot, lettin’ me put my hands all over you out there for anyone to see?” He slides a hand down your panties, feeling the slick collecting there. Pulls his hand out and slides one finger in his mouth, humming at the taste.

“Poor baby,” he murmurs. “Soakin’ wet. This all for me?” His thumb rests lightly on your clit–the lack of friction is maddening.

“Not unless you plan on doing something about it,” you grumble. His grip on your waist tightens.

“Such a fuckin’ brat, gonna fuck the attitude right out of you, sweetheart,” he swears, yanking you down into another kiss. It’s bruising and biting–no more sweet Joel. Your heart pounds even harder at the thought of him getting mean, throwing you around just because he can. You grind down on him and Joel breaks away to groan loudly. Your mouth moves down the side of his neck, breathing in the smell of his body wash and sweat. You can’t stop running your hands over his chest, his arms, his neck. You tweak one of his nipples lightly and he frowns.

“What, it’s only okay when you do it?” you tease. A grin breaks out on his face.

“You’re ridiculous,” he grumbles. “Got a smart fuckin’ mouth. You need somethin’ to fill it up, get you to just shut up for once?”

“Oh, shit,” you breathe. Move your hips even faster against his, groaning when he thrusts up. You can feel him through his boxers, hard and thick just for you. He lifts you up just enough to slide your shorts down and off and then you’re back, just underwear separating you. It’s so good but it’s not enough–you need him inside asap.

“Joel, please, can you–ngh–just, don’t stop,” you whine. His thumb is swiping over your clit and you can feel it rising, the orgasm you’ve been waiting for all afternoon, and then…his hand stills. You want to cry at the loss.

“You wanna come on my fingers or my cock, sweetheart?” he asks. Snaps the waistband of your panties against your heated skin when you don’t answer.

You’re suddenly shy for a moment, self-conscious about telling him what you want, though you know Joel would never judge. “You, I just–want you.”

“Anything for you, darlin’,” he says softly, and you can tell he means it. Pulls his boxers down over his cock, already wet with precum. You drag a hand down, circling him lightly just to hear him groan.

“Fuck, lemme–” he pushes your panties to the side, swipes a hand in your slick. Uses that hand to lube his cock, fat head bumping your clit with every upstroke. Your twin moans are equally loud in the silence of his house.

“Gonna let me fill you up with this cock, sweetheart? C’mere, right there, fuck, look at me.” The head of his cock catches your entrance, just barely pushing in, and you snap your eyes up to his. He grips your side, holding you just over his cock but not letting you get any further. “Tell me how it feels,” he demands.

“Feels so good Joel, so big, come on,” you whimper. It’s just shy of too much and he’s not even in all the way.

“Be a good girl and lemme fuck you,” he says. Leans back against the headboard, grazing your nipples with his thumbs. Lets you sink down fully on his cock, pausing when your hips are flush with his. Your clit brushes the patch of hair at the base and you can’t help the gasp, grinding forward, chasing the feeling of your long-awaited orgasm.

“Wanna come, please,” you beg, “Fuck, you’re so good.”

“Look so pretty takin’ my cock like you were, shit, like you were made for me,” he grunts, snapping his hips up. “Pussy made just for me to fill up, fuck you all day if I could. You want that, darlin’? Stay here all day, just waitin’ for me to get home and slide my cock in, all wet and open just for me?”

“Jesus, yes yes yes,” you babble. The snap of his hips, his warm hands covering your bouncing breasts, the long line of his neck when he tips his head back in a groan, it’s all too much, and you feel the wave of pleasure finally threatening to overtake you.

“Can feel you gettin’ so tight baby, you close?” he asks. Slides a hand up and over your neck when you nod, barely any pressure but enough that you know you’ll have a mark of his handprint there later. The thought of him marking you as his sends you into a frenzy, nails scrambling over his chest and down to where you’re still connected, searching for your clit.

He bats your hand away, ignoring your whine. Ghost his thumb over your clit slowly, hips snapping up hard to meet yours.

“You’re gonna come on my cock like a good girl, let me fill you up til you’re drippin’.” It’s not a question but you find yourself chanting yes yes yes and finally he drops his thumb to your clit and that’s it, game over. Your groan echoes in the room and his hand tightens on your throat, just enough that it tapers off into a quiet squeak.

“Shut up,” he mumbles, “So fuckin’ loud, want everyone to hear us, ’s that it? Want them to hear how good you’re takin’ my cock, how fuckin’ full you are, soakin’ me?” His thrusts are sloppy, desperate, and you tighten around him. “Please Joel, come for me, want you to fill me up, want everyone to know I’m yours,” you murmur, raking your nails down his chest, catching on his nipples. His hips stutter, fucking up into you once, twice, then he’s gone, throwing his head back with a loud moan as he finally comes.

You flop down next to him, groaning as he slips out of you. You both lay there and try to catch your breath, listening to the overhead fan spin lazily and a couple arguing outside.

“Well fuck,” you finally say. “Should block your driveway more often, ’f this is what it gets me.”

Joel shakes his head but you can see him fighting back a smile. “You’re ridiculous,” he grumbles. Pulls you closer to rest your head on his chest. His hand finds yours, interlacing your fingers together, the steady beating of his heart lulling you to sleep.

masterlist here

#joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfic #the last of us #joel miller #the last of us fic #love me some greasy grumpy joel YUP #lexi writes things #i do not know what else to say except how down BAD i am for this man. embarrassing tbh.

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