#I just want somebody to help me without thinking i'm abnormal

[yellowocaballero]

hi please talk about jaime more i am equal parts afraid and excited for his new show

Jaime stan since 2009 reporting for duty sir.

Jaime is the best Spider-Man story we've had in a very long time. I'm including Spider-Man in this. In 2006 it was pretty abnormal to have such a simple story: about a normal kid, who is a very good kid and just wants to do his best, accidentally getting in way over his head and deciding to make the best of a bad situation by helping people and trying to keep his head above water. Jaime's life dream is to become a dentist. His family is highly engaged in his superhero life. Jaime was wholesome without feeling wholesome, and a really exceptional guy while still feeling like an average teen.

Jaime actually did Into The Spider-Verse before ITSV did ITSV: it told a Spider-Man story about a kid struggling to live up to a legacy. About living up to a dead legend, trying to puzzle out his life and make him proud, and how to engage with his life and message. Except I think it did something even more interesting than what ITSV did with Miles.

Because the legacy was that of a loser.

Ted Kord's a joke. Out of universe, he was placed in joke comic after joke comic (Justice League International was exceptional and prided itself on being 100% loser). In universe, nobody took him seriously. How can you take a member of the JLI seriously? The superhero community knew Ted was competent, but they didn't really admire him and they didn't actually like him. He was another annoying supergenius without any superpowers. He never even got the scarab to work. What was Ted Kord's legacy, what legacy was Jaime trying to live up to?

Well, people loved Ted. That's all.

Ted had somebody who, if JLI had been written in 2023 instead of 1980, would have been his husband. He had his husband's family. He had the Justice League International, a misfit team of losers who were losers together. He was insanely smart and very kind and super weird. He had absolutely zero reason to be a hero whatsoever, but he was a bit of an adrenaline junkie and was too weird to live and too rare to die.

What kind of legacy is that? How do you live up to that? Jaime is the kind of superhero who would rather live up to the legacy of a kind man who is loved than a famous man who is revered. The people who loved Ted feature prominently in Jaime's own comic, and the JLI revival where they met Jaime was super emotional. And the Booster Gold comic where he met Jaime made me cry. Jaime's scarab is built to be an ultra death kill murder machine, and Jaime's job is to make it kind. Jaime wanted to leave a legacy of kindness too, and that was how he discovered what kind of Blue Beetle he wanted to be. He never once gave a shit about the rest of it. His life dream is to be a dentist.

Jaime's story has a lot of lasting appeal, because I think he's the kind of hero who fits in with the sensibilities of people today: just a swell lad. But I'm also a Ted Kord fan, and I always really loved the respect and reverence that Jaime always gave Ted: not as somebody who only knew him theoretically or knew the idea of him, but as somebody who was so loved, that he people who loved him showed up at Jaime's door to help him too.

Anyway Jaime's story is SO BASIC that the movie's good/bad is going to hinge entirely 100% of execution so it's impossible to tell right now, I'm holding out judgment. I'm guessing banal and forgettable. Hopefully charming, like Shazam. I am a massive fucking Shazam stan he is the funniest character on God's green earth.

#blue beetle #jaime reyes #ted kord #ppl dont write a good shazam #they dont understand that shazam is what the average 10 year old thinks #would be the coolest possible situation for a 10yo to be in #that in reality would be weirdly awful #but shazam isn't about reality. shazam is about sunshine sparkle. #my asks #my writing

[hapireads]

The Vampire Lestat Review

Reading this after Interview With The Vampire was an absolute whirlwind. I feel as though one book should not be read without the other. If you read Interview With The Vampire, you should immediately pick up The Vampire Lestat and read it. They couple together so well that I will forever be in awe of Anne Rice.

I will first discuss the shocking alteration in Lestat's character between the two novels. Where I was left confused and underwhelmed by the cold, unfeeling portrayal of Lestat in Interview With The Vampire, I now understand it was all in Rice's careful plans. Lestat's portrayal in the first novel is undoubtedly a product of modern-day Louis' feelings and biases.

What I found most interesting about this new exploration of Lestat's character is his intense desires to be good. In both the present-day and the flashback scenes, Lestat almost completely devotes himself to trying to be good, even though he's a monster. In the opening pages of the novel (during the 'present-day' in 1984), he explicitly states that he lingered for killers to appear to feed on, and eventually states that "more than ever, I was resolute that I would not drink innocent blood" (p. 11). But these cravings for goodness transcend the act of hunting for blood. When Lestat begins to tell the audience of his life as a young mortal boy, he explores his love for the brief time he spent in a monastery, which was all just a result of the instructors there believing that he had the capacity for good, something he did not get at home with his family. This concept of goodness in Lestat all comes to a peak for me through a conversation with Gabrielle. When Gabrielle brings up ideas of dictators and chaos, Lestat immediately rebels, stating that "it is petty to destroy anything for the mere sake of destroying" (p. 336). This is a far cry from the hedonistic, and borderline cruel, picture of Lestat that we receive in Interview With The Vampire.

Lestat's explanation of Louis' portrayal of him in his novel was absolutely amazing. Building up the novel in order to explain the dissonance between the two different accounts of what really happened between Louis and Lestat was excellent and Anne Rice managed to do it in a way which was almost effortless. I was utterly seduced. What I particularly enjoyed was Lestat's explanation of how all the people he 'cruelly' hunted and murdered during their time together, were really evildoers, which was unbeknownst to Louis. Louis "told the tale as he believed it" (p. 501), and Lestat is unconditionally accepting of that fact. This was a fantastic way of Rice explaining that Interview With The Vampire still retains value and is just as valid as Lestat's account of what happened, even if what Louis relayed was not 100% true. It was true to Louis, thus, it matters still.

Moving on, I really enjoyed the random little moments of Lestat being a weird little guy. I'm not sure if Rice intentionally wrote these things to be funny, but I could not help but laugh whenever I came across them. For example, when Lestat is still newly turned and settling into the incredibly heightened senses and abilities he's gained, he picks up a rat and stares at it like the sweet baby he is: "All I could think was that the rat had very tiny feet, and that I had not yet examined a rat...I went and caught the rat...and looked at its feet. I wanted to see what kind of little toenails it has, and what was the flesh like between its little toes" (p. 120). I wanted to see what kind of little toenails it has. I wanted to see what kind of little toenails it has. How fucking endearing! Lelio, the wolfkiller, the fiercest vampire, picking up a little rat to look at its little toes. Somebody sedate me. Another example is when Rice is attempting to explain how abnormal vampires act and states that Lestat once "sat down beneath a tree, drew up [his] knees, and put [his] hands to the side of [his] head like a stricken elf in a fairytale" (p. 124). That's some cute fucking shit.

It was also really beautiful to see how unabashedly confident Lestat was in expressing his love and his queerness. When I read Interview With The Vampire and wrote my review, I was shocked by the lack of romance in the text. Retrospectively, it makes perfect sense. Louis is a patchwork of shame, suffering and self deprecation, of course he would never openly admit that what he had with Lestat was an enduring love. Or maybe he didn't even come to terms with it himself. Almost from the very beginning of The Vampire Lestat till the end Lestat is painfully open about how much he worships Louis. His vulnerability paired with Anne Rice's literary genius worked to completely ruin my life. It's been days since I finished the novel and I cannot stop thinking about the sweetness of it all. I find myself consistently picking the novel back up, flicking to the dog-eared pages I know contain Lestat's confessions of love for Louis. I read them over and over and hold each word, each letter close to my heart. Anne Rice is a master of language.

Moving onto other characters in the novel, we arrive at some of my only dislikes of the novel. I didn't dislike Gabrielle (Lestat's mother), per-se, she just made me incredibly uncomfortable. Although Anne Rice is undoubtedly talented, she had a weird knack for hyper-focusing on weird and inappropriate concepts. While many Vampire Chronicles fans have discussed how the relationship between Gabrielle and Lestat is not incestuous because they are vampires, I simply cannot abide by it. It is fucking weird. All their conversation is tainted by strange, erotic thoughts and actions and it does not matter that Gabrielle was liberated from the conventions of humans when she was turned into a vampire, she was Lestat's mother and Rice had no business having them french kiss each other every other sentence. Don't even get me started on how many times Lestat referred to his mother as his lover...ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Why can't they have a non-incestuous relationship? I feel unsure of the value of their incestuous relationship to the novel. I definitely could have lived without it.

In regards to the other major characters, such as Marius and Armand, I thoroughly enjoyed their involvement in the novel. Many people have stated that the chapters regarding Marius' story were boring but I found them absolutely enthralling! It was so interesting to see how Rice plotted out her vampire lore. In many ways I could see how this worldbuilding inspired current vampire media and in many ways I saw aspects which were completely unique and strange, but in the best way! It was also really sweet to see how Lestat came to depend upon Marius, the only person in the world he felt he could relate to. I don't know yet how I feel about 'Those Who Must Be Kept', but I guess that's something I will discover when I move onto Queen of the Damned. As for Armand? I love that nutcase, and always have! His desperation to have Lestat love him (and more importantly, have Lestat admit that he loves him) was heartbreaking, but also paralleled how Lestat behaves toward Louis, which is even more heartbreaking. There is so much I want to say about Armand but I will keep it behind closed doors until I read The Vampire Armand!

P.S. I loved that one of the sacred rules for vampire covens was that you shant turn someone who was not beautiful. That is so bizarre but I am obsessed with the stupidity of it!

Overall, I give The Vampire Lestat a 9.5/10! I can't wait to continue this series.

#the vampire lestat #anne rice #interview with the vampire #the vampire chronicles #lestat de lioncourt #louis de pointe du lac #marius de romanus #armand #those who must be kept #book review #loustat

[scoups4lyfe]

Hebi Anon

"They don't get to do that"

There's a concept I think about every single time a concept of a "higher power" or "superior species" shows up in works and puts themselves as "leaders" or "guardians" of imperfect humanity.

While they may objectively be better, proper leadership requires understanding of those you are trying to lead. What colors their decisions, why they will think in certain ways. However, how would a "perfect" being ever hope to understand imperfect people? How could those born with incredible power understand the normal person? They may have qualifications to lead or make important decisions, but can they actually be fit to lead people they can't understand?

Of course, this could also apply to Mr. Perfect Taro...

mmm <333

But Taro is also imperfect because of his lack of social understanding/awareness. I don't even know if he knows what it means **to** actually be a leader.

So far every time he enters battle he calls it a festival and a contest. Like it's all a fun game, even if there ARE real-world terrible terrible consequences involved in said 'game'

Which I think is a particularly nice callback to the apartment protest flashback.

'A fun festival’s happening, Jin'

Tarou didn't understand the nuance of the situation. That these people weren't having fun or celebrating. But instead gathering together in hate because they didn't want him around.

I really like how you highlighted the lack of understanding on both sides. Because essentially that's one of humanities fatal flaws.

We always like to choose binaries. What we understand, what we don't understand. Right, wrong. Normal, abnormal. But a binary doesn't accurately represent real life.

Momoi is flawed because equivalent exchange is too real. He's good at everything, therefore he must lack in something as well.

I remember learning in Psychology that people who can remember things perfectly, literally never forgetting anything --lack the ability to live a normal life. What people see as 'basic human functioning skills' are the exact things they take critical hits in.

But this 'lack of understanding' is what hurts those kinds of people the most.

I didn't go to a psychiatrist/seek professional help when I would only be able to sleep about 4 hours a day for a week straight, or when I would then crash and not be able to get out of my bed for an entire month because I didn't realize that was weird.

I thought everybody got like that.

I never could've thought I had ADHD because I wasn't super hyperactive unless I was in social situations with friends. I thought everyone just got really obsessed about certain things and then procrastinated and panicked. I blamed my 'one-track mind' on being an inherited trait from my mother.

"Guess I'm just spacey"

But like poison this idea of a normalcy I could never quite hit spread through my system like battery acid and choked me till even the idea of breathing without drowning felt like a far-off dream

My lack of social understanding made me the audience in a play I should be a part of. My sophomore year of high school I took the entire persona of KPOP idol I really liked because of the choking terror I had at the idea of spending another year sitting by myself with my thoughts as everyone else made friends.

When I was a child I lost a library book and my parents yelled at and punished me for it. The next time I got any library books I kept them inside my backpack always, because if I didn't then I'd lose them, and that t e r r i f i e d me

So seeing Momoi be told he's not normal (to his face) and that 'he needs to understand other people better' is truly a smack in the face.

That's like asking a colorblind person to put together a 3,056 piece rainbow puzzle, and then asking them to explain the nuance of each one of the colors

,,,,anyways, I really like the way Donbrother's is exploring this concept. Truly there is nothing harder in this world than understanding somebody else.

Also W O W Hebi Anon spitting fkin PHILOSOPHY yo.

#not to make this a long a$$ essay out of nowhere #but neurodivergence is (obv) something I really empathize with #my mom once told me that if I prayed more when I was depressed I wouldn't be as depressed #like ESP socially man. I had so much fkin trouble as a kid because I didn't understand what tf was going on with other ppl ever #LOL #I literally did not understand how you could engage in a normal conversation lmao #ANYWAYS not to make this about me but loved the phisophical thoughts here Hebi anon #my thougts #avataro sentai donbrothers #donbrothers liveblog #donbrothers #6 peach falls #who let delivery boy bring a parade float to a gun fight #sentaisouped #momoi tarou #asks #hebi anon 🫡🤝💋 #4lyfe #adhd #neurodivergencies #before harvesting season #rlly sharing my own personal stories when no one asked LOL

[eggs3123]

Fear

So, I have a rant on my chest and no proper place to put it, so I’ll just rant to the Tumblr people.

So, fear is a huge part of my life. As sad as that may sound it’s kinda true. I’m scared of a lot of things. The amount I’m scared definitely changes depending on how I’m feeling but more often than not I’m not the most courageous person. I have more tangible fears than I can count on both hands but I have one intangible fear that sticks out the most. Not death, at least, not particularly. My fear of death is more connected to pain in death and slow death than just the end of my life. As an example, I’d be fine dying if, and only if. A) I didn’t see it coming and B) it was instant. So please don’t worry about me hurting myself because it’s directly the pain that I’m scared of. I won’t attempt suicide either because, once again, seeing the end coming for me is another thing I’m terrified of. But back to my worst intangible fear. I’m scared people will come to hate me for being the person I am. I do think a lot of my personality traits that I view as negative can be attributed to my ADHD. People might think I’m lazy or that I don’t take anything seriously. They might think that I’m disrespecting them by getting into an argument I’m not qualified to be in in the first place. People might get mad at me for not having opinions or not hating a certain person. In fact that’s happened before. A lot of the time I do have opinions on certain things. But if somebody else has an opposing opinion and I have to get into an argument things start getting dicey. I can’t argue against people. It’s really hard when all I really retain are the things I like and the strong opinions without anything to back it up. And at the same time you may think an inability to hate is a positive trait but not being able to hate people means you are bound to have disagreements with people who are morally in the right. Sure if you’re put in a non-political environment the inability to hate becomes much less of a problem. But frankly I’m basically being forced into a political environment. So many of my friends talk about politics constantly and I just can’t join in on the conversation. It feels so alienating, once they start talking politics I have to back out of the activity. And if you say “Oh why don’t you just do research into the topic.” Well to be completely honest with you, I don’t feel like it. I don’t want to. It’s not that I’m fine being distanced from my friends. That’s not how it is. I just don’t want to. and these two concepts do bounce around in my brain. Constantly clashing and colliding. “I want to get closer to my friends, but I don’t really feel like reading up on that topic.” And at the same time my friends are in so much deeper than I am. So many people I know read, watch and listen to the news. They look into the new topics that they care about and argue about them online. And good for them, I guess, that’s a hobby that can give you life skills. But how the hell am I supposed to catch up to that. Every fucking day of my life people are going to be talking about politics no matter where I am. It can alienate people. I’m an apolitical. I don’t like politics and prefer not to interact with it. I have opinions on topics but I just don’t feel like putting them out there because it doesn’t interest me. And I know that’s extremely privileged but what the hell am I supposed to do? Go against my own nature to fit what other people want from me? Well I’m sorry I wasn’t born neurotypical. But even then I feel like nothing I’m saying is justified. I feel like I kinda deserve it for being apolitical because somebody I trust and hold in high regard made me feel terrible for being it. Politics will permeate every single instance of my life and I think I can just not interact with it? what the fuck kind of privilege am I on? how the fuck am I supposed to feel good about myself when people are telling me to directly contradict my own feelings? my own nature? my instinct? If I’m told all of that is wrong what am I left with? I’m left with a stupid, lazy, self-loathing, useless, piece of shit that can’t even name an achievement he’s proud of.

#rant #adhd #fuck dude i went off-topic again #but the more I typed the more I had to get off of my chest #and now i'm scared people are going to think i'm asking for pity points #I'm not #i don't want pity points #I just want somebody to help me without thinking i'm abnormal #Even now i'm doubting half of the things i said #i just wanna feel good about myself damnit

[lamburrito]

Ironstrange - The other you Chapter 2

Here is the second Chapter. I will try to upload regularly.

Enjoy!

Warings: Cursing

"So tell me Strange, since I am pretty sure that the Stephen I know and you got swapped or something like that, do you have any idea who could have done this? Do you have many enemies ?" asked Wong. He kept his distance from this Stephen, who was currently sitting at a table,drinking tea, only wearing pyjama pants because he refused to wear the "ridiculous outfit" of his other self. Event though he seemed calm now, Wong knew that this man could not be trusted. Nonetheless Stephen looked up in disbelief:"Are you fucking kidding me? I am a Sorcerer. I killed people with and without magic. The only reason the government isn't really doing something to stop me, is because they are too weak. So I'm feared, just as any other being that is capable of using magic. Which means yes , I have enemies. Plenty of them. But I think they would rather try to eliminate me than to just swap me with somebody from another dimension. What about the me in this world? Nobody is loved by everyone." " Sure he has enemies, but I don't know anybody who could do such a powerful spell without being noticed. Also something tells me not so many people want to see him dead like in your world. Here he is a hero." replied Wong, thinking about the next steps. Not knowing who is responsible for this mess made it only more complicated. Meanwhile Stephen raised an eyebrow:"A hero? I see.... Hey old man, people in this world see magic as normal, right?" "I wouldn't call it normal. By now many know it exists and they kinda just live with this fact." "Well, if this isn't a nice change" replied Strange with a little smirk and a mischievous glint in his eyes. This of course gave Wong a bad feeling, but before he could say anything he heard the door of the Sanctum open. "Hello, is anybody home?" a familiar voice called. Wong had totally forgotten that Stephen had invited someone today. To his surprise he saw the other Strange stiffen a bit. A little nervous he looked at the smaller man:"Is this Anthony Stark?"

Finally Stephen made it to the hospital. He've been walking the whole way since driving the car wasn't an option for him and something told him making a portal wasn't a good idea either. Anyways he was pretty happy to spot Christine rather quickly. So he goes straight to her, not really noticing how everyone was getting out of his way and keeping their heads down. "Christine we need to talk." he called her. As she heard his voice Christine stiffened and slowly turned to face the Sorcerer. "About what Boss?" Stephen raised an eyebrow at the term 'Boss' but let it slide for now. "Can we maybe go to a quiter place for this?" At this suggestion Christine looked down and nodded:"Of course." The blond led him to a room with medical supplies and also a bed. As soon as they were inside she locked the door and started to undress. "Whoa wait a second! What are you doing?" asked Stephen shocked. Surprised, confused and slightly embarrassed Christine looked up:"You don't want to...?" "Of course not!" "Oh...I see. Did you got bored of me? Is that what you wanted to tell me?" questioned Christine, not looking him in the eye. Stephen now was completely sure that he wasn't in his world anymore and whatever his other self did to her, he didn't like it one bit. He felt sick just thinking about it. He raised both hands to show that he meant no harm. "No. Listen. I need to talk about something important with you." That was when Christine noticed the shaking of his hands. "Boss is everything okay? Did a spell go wrong? Do you need my help?" "A spell? So you know I can use magic?" "Of course. Everyone here knows. Do you have some kind of amnesia? That would explain your... abnormal behavior." "Not quite." muttered the Sorcerer. "Or are you preparing something Boss?" Christine asked carefully. "What should I prepare?" The blond woman hesitated to answer. She bit her lip, clearly nervous. "You can speak freely. I won't do anything to you. I promise!" Stephen tried. Christine didn't seem convinced but still she explained:"Well, everyone knows that you want to be on the first place on the list of the most dangerous magic users. Which means you have to prove to be better than Mister Starks right hand man Loki."

"What the hell is he doing here? Did you call him or something?" questioned Strange, voice low. Surprised and also a little bit confused Wong responded:"Actually the other you invited him here for today." "Does that mean we know each other? We do things together and shit like this?" "You two are friends, yes." "And let me guess, he is also a hero?" "Definitely." "Interesting." muttered Stephen. In this moment Tony Stark entered the room, still wearing his sunglasses. "There you guys are! Didn't you hear me or why did nobody respond?" he asked. Stephen looked him up and down, then smiled. That alone was enough for Tony to look at Wong and enquired concerned:"Is everything alright?" The older man sighed:"No."

@creative-chaos-in-my-head, @pidgevspigeon, @cora-devil, @grumpyfluffysloth, @ptx-zelda392, @mistressstrange

If you also want to be tagged, just tell me

#ironstrange #fanfiction #ironstrange fanfiction #the other you #stephen strange #wong #tony stark