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#I kinda...I kinda don't know what to do anymore
mulletmitsuya · 3 days
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Toman Captains + BajiFuyuTora Groupchat
Warnings: swearing, suggestive, mentions of substances, mentions of PTSD
Desc: Baji tries to make a polycule work with some heavy convincing
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Baji: alr guys, i'm gonna ask Fuyu and Tora out on a date at the same time
Mitsuya: that's not gonna work
Draken: don't they hate each other? just pick one
Baji: no i'm in love with the both of them so i'm gonna ask both of them out
Baji: also they actually have feelings for each other but haven't realized it yet
Draken: you're pushing it
Smiley: first of all, Kazutora likes women
Baji: no, he has feelings for me but he hasn't realized it yet
Smiley: alright man
Mikey: Baji, your chances are better with Chifuyu. sort that out first because you're gonna ruin the entire friendgroup dynamic with this shit😟
Baji: we're not a friendgroup, we're lovers
Mikey: i'm talking about us, dipshit
Baji: who
Mikey: everyone who isn't Chifuyu and Kazutora??
Baji: idgaf
Mikey: ayt
Pah: weren't we your treasures or smth 🧐?
Baji: i've moved on to bigger things
Baji: smaller twinks
Baji: you get me?
Smiley: Chifuyu's short but he's not a twink.
Smiley: now Kazutora, we can call a twink
Smiley: you guys are using this word wrong
Mikey: it's it just a skinny guy?
Smiley: "a gay or effeminate man, or a young man, regarded as an object of homosexual desire, usually a bottom. they are attractive and slim in appearance."
Draken: this is just Mitsuya
Mikey: 🧐
Mitsuya: ?
Smiley: that is correct but i didn't wanna say anything cause that twink got hands🤷‍♂️
Mikey: now that i think about it, Mitsuya used to be kinda built. not buff but not skinny. fuck happened
Pah: Draken died
Pah: "died"
Baji: so he stopped eating? lame
Mitsuya: do you guys get how mourning works
Draken: well i'm good now so let's get this grub 🗣
Draken: sorry for making you sad, brother
Draken: it's my mission to bulk you up again
Mitsuya: i'm fine👍
Mikey: no one dying is going to get in between me and a meal😭🙏
Mikey: skill issue on Mitsuya's part
Smiley: skill issue is when your friend dies and you go into a depression so deep that you can't even eat anymore
Mikey: that's what i'm saying❗
Smiley: leave it up to Draken to get shot 3 times in the chest and just walk it off
Smiley: that was kinda hard tho
Draken: thanks👍
Draken: it hurt really bad
Draken: i think it traumatized me
Draken: i can't go to amusement parts now. or listen to fireworks cause i'll start hallucinating shit that happened from that night. weird
Mitsuya: ...that's called ptsd
Baji: yeah man you have ptsd
Draken: what's ptsd
Baji: PTSDEEZ NUTS LMAOOOOOOO
Baji: GOT EM
Draken: i wish your suicide attempt worked you mentally challenged, wanna be werewolf, loreal shampoo ad looking ass bitch
Baji: BANG BANG BANG💣💥💣💥💣💥
Mikey: DUDE💀
Baji: do you guys get it
Baji: it's the gunshots
Baji: because he has PTSD
Baji: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Draken: do you remember how you killed Shinichiro
Baji: 😐
Mikey: GUYS💀
Draken: i'm sorry Mikey
Draken: but
Draken: Baji do you remember when you were screaming his name and watched him bleed to death
Smiley: ☠️
Draken: the skull represent Shinichiro, who you killed
Baji: anyway
Baji: back to my kittens
Baji: before Draken decided to take shit too far😒
Draken: when you go low I'll go lower
Baji: cause you were almost 6 feet under???
Draken: where you put Shinichiro??
Baji: ANYWAY
Mikey: Ken-chin he's gonna kill himself again😔
Draken: that is exactly the point
Baji: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY ANYWAY
Baji: anyway
Baji: back to the topic at hand 😐
Baji: i'm doing it tonight
Mitsuya: ahem
Mitsuya: do you know how awkward it's gonna be when Kazutora rejects you? we don't wanna have to deal with that
Baji: he won't reject me
Mikey: your delusional
Baji: can you guys name a situation in which things didn't work out for me?
Baji: no you can't
Mitsuya: 1) Bloody Halloween??
Draken: 2) Your grades🤨?
Mikey: 3) Not making your mom cry🤔?
Baji: ...
Baji: those don't count
Smiley: it's so hard trying to talk to stupid people
Smiley: he doesn't use logic at all
Draken: Baji don't fucking ask them out
Mikey: ask Chifuyu!!! that f slur is obsessed with you😍
Draken: don't say that word😐
Mikey: i literally didn't say it😭
Mitsuya: Baji please just think for literally one second
Baji: too late cause i just texted them
Mitsuya: omfg
Mikey: you fool😞
Mikey: what did you say??
Baji: i went to our groupchat
Baji: "yo let's cut the bullshit. i'm in love with the both of you so why don't we all date and love each other in a relationship with all three of us and shit"
Baji: i sent that
Smiley: you're very... direct
Smiley: i'll give you that
Smiley: Kazutora's gonna say no
Draken: obviously
Baji: bet
Baji's kittens:
Kazutora: Chifuyu can you please change the fucking groupchat name
Kazutora: i know you and Baji do kinky shit together but i am NOT anybody's kitten
Chifuyu: but Baji-san changed it and i can't change it back if he doesn't want me to
Chifuyu: and Baji-san and i do not do "kinky shit"
Chifuyu: we don't have a sexual relationship😐
Kazutora: you have free will mothefucker!! you don't need his fucking permission
Kazutora: is he your dom or something😭
Kazutora: why are so obsessed with him jesus
Kazutora: you guys are gay af
Chifuyu: just because i don't stab my friends doesn't mean i'm gay
Chifuyu: i just respect him a lot cause he's cool 😒
Chifuyu: nothing you'd know about
Chifuyu: you psychopath
Kazutora: you slobber on his dick all day
Kazutora: "Baji-san!!! What a cool kick!! Can you teach me😁?"
Kazutora: you might as well just ask him to put it in
Chifuyu: shut the fuck up all you've ever known are the prison walls that enclosed you
Kazutora: NOT ANYMORE😁
Baji: ladies, ladies
Baji: there's enough to go around 😏
Baji: ew. alright i'm never using that emoji again what the fuck
Kazutora: CHANGE THE GROUPCHAT NAME
Baji: no
Kazutora: you and Chifuyu can do your pet play somewhere else please leave me out of it 🙏
Baji: nuh uh
Baji: you're a tiger
Baji: tigers are cats
Baji: so you're a kitten
Baji: done deal
Kazutora: i'm an adult tiger not a kitten😐
Baji: i'm the alpha and you and Chifuyu are my omega's
Kazutora: what the fuck does that mean????
Chifuyu: haha Baji-san😂
Kazutora: i've never seen someone ride someone else's meat so hard before holy shit
Chifuyu: if you don't understand what respect is, just say that 🙄
Baji: don't lie Chifuyu
Baji: you're in love with me
Kazutora: LMFAOOOOOOOOO
Baji: you are too Kazutora
Kazutora: 🤨
Baji: yo let's cut the bullshit. i'm in love with the both of you so why don't we all date and love each other in a relationship with all three of us and shit
Baji: you guys are in love with each other too just by the way
Kazutora: what
Kazutora: that's not how anything works
Chifuyu: Baji-san i ask again is this a prank 🤣🤣🤣
Kazutora: it has to be cause i'm not a boy kisser like you mfs
Baji: Kazutora be fr. you just got out of prison, you're clinically insane, you're on parole, people feel unsettled by your presence, you have an ankle bracelet, you belong to the state, you have mommy AND daddy issues, you've killed someone
Kazutora: damn
Kazutora: you didn't have to list it like that
Baji: all i'm saying is that i'm your best option because i don't care about all of this and i'll take care of you for the rest of your life even tho you're crazy
Baji: cause i love you (gayly)
Baji: you could even stab me again
Chifuyu: NO
Baji: Chifuyu shut the up i'll get to you babe
Chifuyu: yes Baji-san
Kazutora: "yes daddy😩😍"
Kazutora: what the fuck dude you could least try to hide it 💀
Baji: can u focus
Kazutora: oh right
Kazutora: what about gay sex tho
Baji: i'll teach you
Kazutora: but you have a dick
Baji: uhhhh
Baji: fine you can use yours
Baji: nah nevermind i'm not a bottom
Baji: fuck you
Kazutora: i didn't even say anything
Kazutora: but whatever ig
Kazutora: i'm not gonna be with Chifuyu tho😐
Baji: you are
Kazutora: 😒
Baji: Chifuyu we've been in love for years so i know you'll say yes. just needed to convince Tora babygirl
Chifuyu: but is this a prank tho🤣🤣
Baji: no
Baji: you are my boyfriend now
Baji: both of you come over
Kazutora: ughhhhhhhhhhhhh
Kazutora: fine
Chifuyu: are the both of you pranking me🤣😂
Baji: just come over you fucking idiot
Baji: that was too mean
Baji: please come over you fucking idiot❤
Captains:
Baji: they said yes and we're all about to have sex now
Mikey: you're just gonna lie Baji
Draken: should i get beers? you can cry if you want i won't even laugh at you
Draken: i promise
Mikey: you're just gonna lie Ken-chin
Mitsuya: what did they actually say
Baji: they're coming over? and we're about to make love? are you guys dumb 🤨
Baji: it worked out how i said it would
Smiley: Draken gets the beers i'll get the cigarettes
Smiley: Baji we tried to tell you
Draken: don't piss me off cause you know i don't smoke
Draken: you're gonna influence Angry into an early grave
Draken: do you want your brother to have lung cancer
Smiley: chill
Smiley: Angry tried a cigarette and almost died
Smiley: so you don't have to worry about that
Smiley: fine i'll bring weed instead
Mitsuya: where are you getting drugs😐
Smiley: my plug, duh 😁
Mikey: can i have a weed as well please
Smiley: idk man what if your dark impulses come out or something
Mikey: my therapist said that only happens with specific triggers so it's fine
Mikey: plus i have a shock collar in case that happens
Draken: i don't think that's normal 🤨
Baji: you guys are pissing me off
Mikey: dude it's fine we can comfort you even tho we told you so
Draken: i'm gonna be the better man and forgive you since you've just been rejected
Baji: yk what idgaf
Baji: i'ma just nut in my kittens
Baji: bye losers
Baji: no one does it like i do
Mikey: poor thing🙁
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softboo · 2 days
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love me, ever so gently - part III
pairing: austin x reader
summary: you recently moved to a new apartment, making some new eccentric friends along the way. but what you didn't expect was falling in love with a stranger. a stranger you somehow couldn't stop thinking about
words: 2.3k
warning: depictions of alcohol, dark themes of domestic abuse in relationships, *minors please don't interact*
author's note: hii here's part III of the story!! this one was a lot of fun to make omg and it wasn't even supposed to go this way at all... it kinda just happened lmfaoo. i'm already writing the next part heh. but yeah, it truly means the world to me that you guys read these stories. like it really warms my heart, so thank you. hope you enjoy <3
previous part // next part coming soon...
part III
"he's being abused cassie," you wanted to be straightforward on the topic, especially with how delicate the issue was. you thought she would say something, but she paused. like the weight of your words were slowly sinking in. the realization and the possibility landing right in front of her.
you were just afraid she wouldn't see it.
and she didn't.
"sweetie, what makes you say that? he seems fine."
for the past few weeks, austin started attending more events. the cooking class being one of his favorites. you no longer sat with him anymore, feeling awkward every time you spoke to each other. the silence became so deafening that you soon changed partners. but a part of you always seemed to wonder how he was doing. if he had any new bruises. if he was still healing from past injuries. if his pain was still there.
and if he was genuinely okay.
from someone who knew nothing, like the rest of your friends, he seemed to be doing amazing. and he was pretty good at keeping that front up.
maybe he found a way to put his guard up even more after you.
you all were spending dinner in the kitchen; evelyn taking her proper position as cook, insisting on making everything by scratch. it took a long time to convince her that george was there to help and when she did accept, he never left her side. making sure she had every ingredient ready.
he genuinely looked like he was a cook working for the head chef, but you and cassandra both knew he was mainly doing it for the food.
"i promise you cassie, he's not okay."
"if he wasn't okay dear, then why is he coming here to spend dinner with us?"
your eyes widened at the news, which made cassandra smile.
"you invited him?" panic started to rise up to your throat, "but why?"
"george invited him because his girlfriend is out of town for two weeks. he's going to be alone and no one deserves to be alone at a time like this."
you gritted your teeth, the thought of seeing him again after so long and now he was spending dinner with your friends made you feel slightly uncomfortable by the idea. not because you didn't want to see him, but moreso because your heart was so desperate to talk to him again.
"cassie, his girlfriend is the problem. he's probably so excited that she's gone, which is why he's attending more events."
"my love, listen to me." she took your hands from across the table, eyeing you with such intent and comfort that she let out a sigh.
"you know why i don't believe you?"
your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, not knowing where she was going with this.
"because i know how you feel about him," she waited for your reaction, but all you did was blink at her. "let's say this is true, the girlfriend is an abuser, then what?"
"then we help him right?"
"sure dear, but you need to ask yourself if you're doing that because you care about him or because you like him."
you bit your lip. why did there have to be a difference? you can care about someone right?
"and if it's the latter, you need to wait and see if he'll reach out to you. because again, he is taken."
that last part stung because it was true. some little part of your heart thought that maybe, just maybe, if he left his girlfriend, you could come in and be everything he deserved.
but it wasn't that easy. and he wasn't single.
"elvis my boy!! elvis is in the building!!" george exclaimed as austin arrived, wearing a black suit blazer. his blonde hair was styled in a way that looked messy, but accentuated his curls. and his eyes had oceans again, overflowing with life.
but what got you was his smile. he looked genuinely happy, embracing george into a tight hug. something george wasn't used to since he was always the one initiating, but he was all for it.
and for the first time, you doubted yourself and your theory. maybe cassandra was right.
maybe he really was okay.
austin went around to evelyn, who soon grew fond of him as her little cooking mentee. austin learning dinner dishes to desserts from all the classes he attended.
"the food smells lovely evelyn," his lower tone enveloped your heart and you hated how much he really did affect you. evelyn thanked him for his kind compliment.
"austin come and sit, the table is already made." cassandra offered the chair next to you and you panicked once more.
"hi again," his voice was smooth as he maneuvered his way around you to sit at the chair on your left. something about his tone and the way he held himself now felt like he was a stranger to you. like the guy you met before wasn't him at all.
or maybe a part of you saw him as broken and thought that you could be the one to fix him.
but your heart still stuck to that possibility. that this was all a front somehow. but you had no real reason to follow that thought. all you had was that pull on your heart.
"i like your suit," you gave him a weak smile as he thanked you kindly, pressing against the little wrinkled areas and loosening his jacket and tie.
"i just came back from dropping my girlfriend off at the airport so... i'm all yours for two weeks." he exclaimed, leaning back in his chair. your heart fluttered when he said that, but you knew it wasn't what he really meant.
evelyn and george placed the food on the table, a beautiful dinner feast for all of you. cassandra followed suit with the rest of the desserts as george popped up from his chair, running to get something.
"we forgot the wine!" he screamed from the hallway, hobbling back with two bottles. he eagerly poured an outrageous amount of wine in everyone's glass, left standing to offer a toast.
"to our new friend elvis," his toothy grin wide and proud as everyone raised their glass too. austin getting flustered as he tried to turn down the compliment, but evelyn insisted.
"and to my first cooking mentee, who i am so proud of," evelyn added, squeezing austin's cheeks. he laughed and you weren't sure why that sound hurt you.
you were the last to raise your glass as everyone cheered.
something about him being a part of the group should be celebrated, but you didn't know why it felt so painful. why him being a part of your life was hurting you.
or why him being happy killed you.
maybe because you wanted to be a part of that in his life, but knowing you couldn't be.
by the time you were done flooding yourself with all your conflicting thoughts, the dinner ended and all that was left was the chocolate cake in the center of the table. and you, picking at the icing with your fork.
you didn't remember anyone saying goodbye though, which made you feel even worse. you weren't exactly sure how much wine you drank either, considering your glass was empty. but you could've sworn it was full just a few minutes ago.
and then you saw him, coming back to your table. his blazer long gone and just his white dress shirt underneath. he looked disheveled but in a good way. something that showed he had a good time with his friends, which he did. he just wasn't sure if he remembered all of it.
"you want to bring the cake upstairs?" his voice felt like a blanket around you.
you looked at him with such confusion because... why would a kitchen have an upstairs?
"upstairs? why am i going upstairs?"
"because you need to go to bed."
"but i don't want to go to your apartment."
and his cheeks flushed red at your firm decision, feeling suddenly embarrassed for what you assumed. he did offer his arms for you to hold onto though, but you were hesitant to take it.
"i'm taking you back to your bed."
you sat there quietly, like you were debating whether or not to trust him. but you couldn't feel your legs so you had no other choice. and he smiled at you as you sat there and contemplated.
it wasn't long until he made the first move, wrapping his arm around your waist to hold you up while the other hand made sure you draped your arm around his shoulder. it felt like you were floating off the ground, either you were so far gone now or he was a lot taller than you thought.
when you reached the elevator, he struggled with keeping you upright, multiple failed attempts along the way of you falling forward, which made him almost lose his balance. it was like trying to walk without knowing where to go and not feeling the ground beneath you.
austin finally made it to your door as he tried to fumble through your bag for your key, while you nodded off for a split second. he kept one hand on your head, placing you as close to his chest as possible so you wouldn't fall over again, which made you blush immensely. your arms limply fell around his neck and he didn't mind at all, not even reacting to the way you fit right into the crook of his neck. your face surrounded by the smell of his cologne and little wavy pieces of his hair. you wished you could stay here forever.
"you smell really nice austin..." your words slurring with wine in your breathe. "can i have your cologne?"
"of course you can."
he couldn't help but laugh, which felt like a sympathy in your ears.
he finally found your key, opening the door for you. he slowly let you move first as he followed suit, trying to hold on to the sliver of soberness he had left in him.
it wasn't until you saw your living room that you excitedly left the comfort of his arms and screamed at your furniture.
"oh my gosh... YOU HAVE THE SAME APARTMENT AS ME!!" you squealed, turning back around to pull him into a hug, almost knocking him back outside. he held you for a moment, convincing himself that this was the alcohol talking.
this was just the wine.
"we're in your apartment love," he remarked and you let go all of a sudden and he felt the emptiness with it.
"oh."
your voice sounded so heartbroken that he almost felt bad for smiling at you.
"then why are you in my apartment?"
"because i need to make sure you get to bed okay." the alcohol still wavering a bit in his balance as he tried to maneuver you towards what he assumed was your bedroom. and he assumed correctly.
"i can do it on my own." you protested, finding your bed covers. you felt the softness of your blanket before you collapsed onto the bed, letting out a long awaited sigh. your eyes closed as you tried to ignore him. him and your overly excited heart.
"do you want to change first?"
you perked your head up and suddenly felt the room spinning. you were adament in saying yes, but you couldn't move your legs again.
"go away. i can do it by myself." you whined, slowly getting up and then collapsing on the floor, giggling.
austin just looked at you, holding in a laugh. you tried to push him out of your room and it actually worked, but only because he fell over outside.
"and you stay outside until i'm done." you ordered, your voice stern but slurred.
getting dressed drunk was probably one of the most difficult tasks you had to do at this very moment. and you haven't drank like this since college so you were mixing which part of your shirt was meant for your arm and your head.
by the time you finally had yourself dressed, you opened the door to see austin lying on the ground. his eyes closed, sound asleep.
"austin..." you whispered, crouching over him. the alcohol making you see double for a moment before using the floor to ground you. "austin, you can't sleep here."
he fluttered his eyes open as he gazed back at you. oceans engulfing you in endless waves. his hair all messy now as he just looked at you with such intrigue. it was so inviting.
he was so inviting.
you could've done anything, but you couldn't. you knew you couldn't.
but he was just laying there, gazing up at you like he's never seen you before. like he was seeing you for the first time all over again.
you wanted to caress his cheek, play with his hair, tell him he could stay.
but you couldn't.
it broke your heart that you couldn't have him. that he was with someone else.
you mustered enough courage, enough strength for the both of you, and whispered ever so softly to him.
"thank you for taking care of me..." your words blending into each other, feeling as if you were so far away from him.
and without thinking, you let your hand fall on his cheek, moving the little strands of hair that fell onto his face. like it was something natural that you've done for years.
and he closed his eyes to your touch.
you started to tear up, pulling everything you had left in you just to smile at him. that somehow he needed reassurance for your heartbreak.
"your girlfriend is so unbelievably lucky to have you austin," your voice breaking at the end, wanting to so desperately do something. do anything.
but all you did was collapse on the floor next to him, your body feeling limp from all the alcohol. he hardly moved from where he was, your words sinking slowly into his chest.
the weight of everything settling into him.
and for the first time, you were the reason why his oceans went dry.
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chicabear15 · 3 days
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Maybe I'm wrong in thinking this but I think shows that have/rely on fan interactions like Are You Scared, Too Many Spirits, and even Ghost Files are going to run into issues. The first two rely pretty much exclusively on fan submissions and if they lose a lot of their audience they can't do those anymore or have to change up the format. And considering Too Many Spirits is one of their more popular shows that will definitely affect subs.
And obviously Ghost Files is a HUGE pull for views and a part of that show is the submissions from fans, and they probably won't get as many for that either. Not to mention the debrief, I honestly don't know how or if that is going to work anymore. From what I can see on the website without having an account there doesn't seem to be anywhere for interactions, and I think it would be weird and a little awkward asking for questions on other social medias for comments/questions because you know it's just going to be filled with angry people complaining.
Debrief seemed like the main place to interact with them outside of Patreon and if that's gone it feels like they're alienating the people actually paying to watch the stuff.
Plus it seems unlikely they'd do live shows anymore, because even if it is a way to see a ghost files episode without a subscription I think it would feel kinda weird knowing you might not ever watch it again
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loveyourlovelysoul · 3 days
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I think this era of social medias and fast internet connection and communication is only triggering our urgency in receiving (and reacting), making us forget that for some things we need time. Even (and especially) when it comes to relationships.
We try to know the other immediately, to know everything of them and then think we don't have anything else to ask/tell them (but life goes on? stuff happens?). We tend to stop to superficial topics and understanding of the other person, we avoid certain topics fearing they may be judge us or use them against us (we lost trust: but we need to remind ourselves our trust in others is not related to our self worth. We're not responsible of what others do with our vulnerability, nor it changes our worth or we should feel guilty about having trusted the wrong person: we cannot control anything and anyone outside of us and we cannot call ourselves naive if another breaks our trust). We don't talk about negative stuff, about our feelings, our wishes, our favorite stuff, our hobbies, our passions... we don't try to share them much or invite the other to something we enjoy (and vice versa). And this too blocks the interaction on a superficial level and pretty soon as well.
I think we stopped working for our relationships, isolating in a more comfortable way of thinking (actually projecting, even after two superficial chats) "I don't have anything to tell them anymore", "They must be thinking this, doing that, liking this..." instead of asking, and feeling lonely. We kinda stopped being interested in the other and wait for the other to be interested in us and show they care and think about us (out of past trauma okay, but different person won't necessarily think as us or people from our past). And we don't even share about our loneliness... because what if they judged us? But friends, or people we should share a deep connection with, don't judge/criticize us to make us feel bad (if they do, they're not friends and it's probably them projecting on us anyway). They eventually give us suggestions and other povs to make us grow and help us (same thing we can do for them). And anyway we can always have a talk on that, confronting each other's pov and grow from it: even arguments can help us grow together with someone, it's okay if things don't go well/perfectly everyday, it's okay to have bad days, it's okay to not talk everyday... in any type of relationship. It doesn't mean someone will leave us or we need to leave before they do it to us. We need to remember we're two different people and the only thing we can do is communicate. Always. With our heart. Love and friendships are choices we make also withour minds, with our will to try and not give up immediately after the first difficult situation. Together with the other person's will.
So why this huge self sabotage tendencies in relationships? Why we prefer to stay home and feel lonely, resentful to everyone not caring for us and relying on internet for companionship, maybe ending up comparing our life with others' (fake images we see online) and feel even less worthy of love and understanding? Why don't we just change our pov and try to be more open and vulnerable? Maybe even going a little more deep after we get comfortable with the other? Why do we run away (give up?) so fast? We cannot always wait for others to take the first step, we can take the risk too, we can show interest as well (actually, we should or the other will only feel used or uninteresting and lose the will to communicate on the long run). We can accept if someone is busy and we can allow them time too ofc. It doesn't necessarily mean they don't like us. Not everything is about us and our worth. We probably need to re-learn how to slowly water our relationships and care for them as we'd do with a plant: we have to wait and be patient and consistant to get flowers when we start from seeds. We may even deal with aphids as it grows, but we can get rid of them if we take good countermeasures (if we communicate openly and stay vulnerable, find compromise and a good balance with the other: both people need to feel respected, free, understood and cared for).
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antianakin · 2 days
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You know what annoys me? Like every former Jedi that gets shown bashes the Order. Show me a former Jedi who left not because of some BS ‘Jedi are wrong’ reason. Have some who left because they acknowledged that they weren’t fit for it or because they fell in love and understood they couldn’t be fully dedicated to both their spouse and the Order. Show me former Jedi who are still fond of other Jedi and the Order.
Yeah I feel like there's maybe been one or two in comics or something? I feel like I remember seeing panels where someone was discussing their grandmother who had once been a Jedi and left because she wanted to start a family, but there was never any animosity or hard feelings or anything like that.
I feel like the reason we don't see it very often is because, like I've been mentioning in my post about Pong Krell recently, former Jedi often end up being FALLEN Jedi who are always then utilized to showcase the theme of selfishness and greed. The Jedi are a symbol of selflessness and compassion within the narrative, so it can sometimes I think be difficult to write a character who has left that behind and NOT have them sort-of... becoming a symbol of the opposite. It places the characters in this strange limbo where they AREN'T part of that symbol of selflessness and compassion anymore, but they aren't a symbol of the opposite either, so what is the point of this character within the overall narrative? We see the problem this causes with any story involving Ahsoka these days.
There seem to be three places where we see these characters go.
First is the fallen Jedi route, obviously. They've left the Order and since gone down a path of darkness. This is where characters like Anakin, Dooku, Barriss, Pong Krell, and all of the Inquisitors end up. Pretty obvious storyline.
The second is where the character leaves the Jedi for any reason and then ultimately has to find their way BACK to being a Jedi as part of their journey. They probably never were fully fallen or anything, but they do lose some part of themselves when they lose their identity as a Jedi and regaining that identity allows them to grow into a healthier, more compassionate and selfless person. This is where characters like Kanan, Cal Kestis, Cere Junda, and Obi-Wan Kenobi end up.
The third is the Jedi critical route and the only one I know of who is on this particular journey is Ahsoka, but I'm assuming that The Acolyte might end up with at least one of their characters in this category. This is where the characters leave the Jedi Order and they don't explicitly end up FALLEN, but they're not at all on a route BACK to being a Jedi either. Or, if they are, it's explicitly NOT a Jedi like they were before and this is what makes them BETTER than the other Jedi.
The point is that there's usually a JOURNEY that is involved in characters who have left the Order or lost their identity as a Jedi in some way. Characters who have left the Order but bear no animosity towards the Jedi and are still fond of them have less room to grow in terms of their identity. You could presumably do a story of a Jedi that ENDS in them leaving the Order. We kinda sorta got that with the Grogu storyline in TBOBF where he attempts to go back to training with Luke and ultimately decides it's not the path for him anymore. It was arguably done for the wrong reasons and this storyline was rushed because it was put into the wrong show, but the concept behind it is actually quite similar to what you seem to be looking for. And it gave me some more complex feelings about that storyline because you're not wrong that it's not a BAD thing to see a story where a Jedi character leaves the Jedi simply because they've decided it's no longer the right path for them and not due to anything negative. This particular version of it might not be the greatest example of this story ever done, but I didn't hate it, either. I appreciated the novelty of it and the overall way it was handled even if I also had some issues with its placement and the motivation behind it.
So it's not like it CAN'T be done, but I think it just feels less compelling to most people because of what the Jedi tend to symbolize within Star Wars. It'd be interesting to see more people attempt to tackle this story for other characters, but I'm also cognizant that there's a LOT of bad Jedi content out there right now and they keep killing off the Jedi or having characters be Jedi critical and all of that, so having more stories of Jedi who LEAVE the Order isn't perhaps what we need more of. I want more stories of Jedi who are happy to be Jedi first, THEN we can look at stories about Jedi who leave the Order amicably.
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Welcome Home - September Ch1
Eddie Munson x Reader, friends to lovers, slow burn
Also posted on ao3! This is part 1!
Summary: Reader has moved to a new city/state every few months since she was born. She shows up to Hawkins in '85 having to repeat her senior year after learning nothing last year due to changing schools 3 times.
Eddie is repeating his senior year as well, lucky for him. He meets reader in class two weeks into the year and is immediately drawn to her due to her I-don't-care attitude and her Metallica t-shirt.
The two hang out often, studying, drinking, smoking, and healing their respective traumas. But how long does reader have before her dad announces that they're packing up and leaving Hawkins forever, leaving Eddie and the new friends she's made behind forever?
Reader uses she/her pronouns but is non-binary. The term didn't exist in the 80s so she describes it as "I'm only vaguely a girl, you shouldn't really think of me as one."
Reader is AFAB, there will be references to anatomy (smut), but for the most part, she's not really "girly".
AU, the upside down doesn't exist, Eleven and Will aren't mentioned (sorry).
CW for this chapter: mentions of parents with substance abuse issues
AN: This is absolutely just self-insert for me but I really like it and maybe it will be relatable to a small number of people or just entertaining, I don't know. But thanks for reading either way!
I'm planning on each chapter being somewhere between a day to a week of in-story time. Some might be super long and others kinda short, I'm not sure. This is my very first work that I've ever written so I have no idea how its going to work. Each month will have its own chapters (all contained here in this one work) and the story will just kinda flow through the months that reader is in Hawkins. Bear with me, this all might change at some point haha. I have a lot of ideas though as this is literally just my maladaptive daydreams put to paper. Eddie makes my brain melt. Enjoy!
Walking out of the school office with your class schedule in your hand you sigh, taking in the new surroundings once again. This is the eighth high school you've been to in the past four years, and the second time you've been a senior in one of them. After moving three times last year and missing so much of your first senior year, you had to start from scratch in a new school, Hawkins High. Pretty boring to name a school after the city, but you've seen it done so many times that you don't give a shit anymore. Just as long as this is your last one.
The receptionist in the office had pointed you in the direction of your assigned locker and handed you a sticky note with the combination on it. Memorizing the numbers on the gross-yellow paper, you head in the direction she told you to go. 982, 983, 984, 985... 986. That was yours. You stop in front of it and rest your head on the door as you look down and turn the lock in the correct order. You had no faith that this year would be your last, you already accepted that if you couldn't finish high school on your second attempt, then you would just drop out and figure out what to do after that. School is fucking tiring.
The bell rang to signal change of classes and students began to flood the hall. Already missed the first period and study hall, off to a great start. As you pop the lock open and step back a little to open the door, a solid body slams into your side and a book goes sliding down the corridor.
"Hey, watch it freak!" The body yells at you.
You turn to look at who just walked into you. It was a girl with platinum blonde hair in a super high ponytail; a cheerleader uniform; and her tits on full display, absolutely breaking the dress code.
"Sorry, didn't realize you liked to walk with your eyes closed." You grumbled as you rolled your eyes and turned back to your locker, beginning to unload your binders from your bag. She walked into you , that was definitely not your fault.
"What?" She snapped. She took a few steps to the side so that she was right next to you continuing to stare at the side of your face, and at your Metallica shirt, and your ripped black jeans, and dirty shoes. She instantly clocked you as someone who was beneath her so she narrowed her eyes and gave a sickening smile. "Ohhhh... great, another freak to join the freakshow. Just watch yourself okay? And don't get dirt on my uniform." She accented the last line by wiping down the front of her skirt with her hands aggressively a few times before stepping away and bounding down the corridor with her group of friends who looked identical to her, ponytails swishing in unison as they walked. One of them stopped to pick up the book that was dropped and handed it back to who you assume was their leader. All five of them turned to sneer at you before continuing on their way.
"I fucking hate cheerleaders." You thought to yourself as you closed your locker and looked at your schedule again. Your second class was English. An easy enough class, after a bit of a rough start in the hall.
As you entered your classroom you made your way to the desk at the front where the teacher was sitting.
"Hi, I'm y/n. I'm new, I just moved here yesterday and I was told to introduce myself to my teachers when I got to class so... hi." You said quietly to your new English teacher.
"Well hi! I'm Ms. Davies, it's nice to meet you. I'll write your name into the class list. Can I see your schedule?" She seemed way too smiley and chipper for your liking, but at least she didn't seem like she was going to be a hard-ass.
You handed her your schedule and she nodded and confirmed that you were in the right class. She copied your name down on her attendance list and then stood up, handing back your schedule.
"Please don't-" before you could ask her not to, she began announcing your name and welcoming you to the class.
"We have a new student today! Y/fn. Everyone please be kind, she'll be a little bit behind as we've already gotten through two weeks of curriculum but I'm sure she'll catch up quickly!" Smiling, probably very proud of herself for embarrassing you, she turned to you and pointed to an empty pair of seats at the back of the class. "You can take a seat back there... I would say 'next to Mister Munson' but it seems that he won't be joining us again-" just as she said that, a boy with long, curly, brown hair, a denim jacket adorned with pins and patches, ripped jeans, and absolutely no school supplies walked into the class. "Well, never mind. Here he is." She said, a little surprised by this guy's sudden appearance.
Keeping your head down to avoid the stares that you were most certainly receiving, you made your way to the back of the class and sat down in one of the seats Ms. Davies had pointed to.
The long haired boy's eyes hadn't left you since he walked through the door. He also made his way to his seat and sat down just slightly after you. "Metallica fan eh?" He said, nodding to the t-shirt you were wearing.
"Yeah." You said, a little more blunt than you meant for it to sound. "One of my favorites." You added, noting that most of the decor on his vest were metal bands.
"You've got good taste." He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, clearly not intending to pay attention to the class.
"Thank you." You said, honestly. "You seem to as well," pointing at one of his pins, you said "Judas Priest is pretty good too."
The boy beamed. He was honestly really cute, especially when he smiled and his dimples were on full display. He squeezed his crossed arms tighter and wiggled a little, obviously a little giddy, and leaned over to you a bit "I like you. I think I'm going to annoy you for the rest of the year." He said with a sort-of-joking-sort-of-not tone.
You let out a soft laugh and smiled back at him. "Sounds good." You replied, somewhat sarcastically, though you also weren't going to say no to gaining a friend immediately. Especially one who seemed to have the same taste as you. 
He extended one of his hands toward you, intending for you to shake it. "My name’s Eddie." He introduced himself smoothly, his name sounded so royal leaving his tongue.
"I'm y/n." You replied, shaking his hand gently. His fingertips were a little rough, he probably played guitar. "I guess you missed when my name was announced to the world by Ms. Davies up there." You let go of his hand and gestured lightly up to the front of the room where Ms. Davies was writing something on the board. Something you're already not learning.
"I did miss that, unfortunately. I'm sure it wasn’t embarrassing at all and everyone was all 'hi y/n! Welcome to Hawkins High! We hope you have a wonderful time here! Go Tigers!'" He raised the pitch of his voice when he imitated the students, making you laugh a little harder than before.
"That's absolutely horrifying! You make them sound like a cult! I'm glad they didn't say that to me, I think I would've walked right out the door and never came back!"
"I think anyone would!" He chuckled. He looked very pleased with himself that he made you laugh as he leaned back in his chair, arms crossed again, but still smiling wide.
As the two of you settled into comfortable silence, you took your notebook out of your bag and attempted to take notes on… MooBath ? With the fantastic mixture of Ms. Davies’ terrible writing, your terrible eyesight, and your lack of glasses, the board at the front of the room was nearly unreadable from where you were sitting. Squinting your eyes and leaning forward you could make out that it was actually MacBeth that she was teaching, not something a cow would say while getting cleaned.
“Forgot your glasses at home?” Eddie asked softly. 
“No, I don't have any. Can't afford them.” You said simply, trying not to make a big deal over the fact that your parents didn't care enough about you to spend less money on their addictions so they could actually take care of their child. 
“Oh. Well that sucks. You should sit closer to the front then.” He said, like it wasn't the most obvious solution. 
You laughed lightly, “I would've but this was the only seat open and I doubt anyone would be kind enough to move just for me.” You looked back at him, he looked very comfortable leaning back in his chair, his eyes still fixed on you. 
“Don't ask ‘em then. Just sit. We don't have assigned seating so you can sit wherever you want.” He shrugged and leaned forward, putting his crossed arms on the desk. “Plus it would be fun to see the cheerleaders whine about not getting their way.” A somewhat devious smile spread across his face. 
“We'll see.” You said with a small smile, turning your attention back to the teacher. You decided that after missing the first half of the lesson you should at least try to take notes from just her voice alone. It was a struggle, she talked very fast and went on plenty of tangents that didn't have much to do with the subject matter. By the end of the class, you had about a page and a half of notes that you were only 60% confident in being correct and a bit of a headache from squinting at the board. 
The bell finally rang while Ms. Davies was mid-sentence. It startled her a bit but she dismissed you all and wished everyone a good rest of the day. On to lunch!
As you packed up your things and exited the classroom, Eddie stuck right by you chattering away. “Hey you should come sit with me and my friends for lunch! You'll fit right in! They're metal fans too!” He seemed to have a ton more energy than he did in class for some reason, or maybe he was quiet on purpose so that you could try to take notes. 
Stopping at your locker to exchange your books for your lunch, you smiled at him “Okay, I'd love to.” Why not? Worst that could happen is they hate you and you spend your time at another school completely alone. Best case? You gain some friends for a bit, until you have to pack up and move to another town in a month or two. 
You could feel that Eddie was practically vibrating as he led you to the cafeteria, eager to introduce you to his friends. He kept his hand on your shoulder like he was afraid you'd run away or get lost on the short journey. Approaching the long lunch table he waved his hand toward a few younger boys on the left, probably freshmen or juniors, and ordered them to “Scoot!”. They looked at him like he asked them to sacrifice themselves. “I said scoot!” He repeated, now using both hands to usher them all down one seat. 
“Well, you don't have to-” you tried to stop the disruption of their natural seating but Eddie just waved at you stating “They're fine. Have a seat!” He beamed once again when you took your seat, every single boy at the table staring at you like you'd just appeared out of thin air. 
“Friends, this is y/n.” Eddie gestured to you like he was unveiling a masterpiece at a museum. The rest of the table greeted you with tentative “Hi.”s. One guy in a leather jacket, on the opposite side of the table asked “You managed to bring a girl to our table? How'd you do that man?”
You chuckled a little “Well, I'm only vaguely a girl, you shouldn't really think of me as one if that makes you more comfortable. You can call me whatever you want, honestly. I’ve heard it all. But I wouldn't be caught dead hanging out with cheerleaders and doing my makeup and giggling and shit. I'm not into all that girly stuff. But uh… anyway… hi.” You gave a little wave and looked at everyone around the table. Most of the older guys looked similar to Eddie in terms of clothing style. They looked pretty metal and some of them had jackets like Eddie. The younger boys were a little more toned down but they seemed to fit in really well with the general vibe of the table. 
Eddie smiled at you as he pulled up a chair and sat at the head of the table, like a king, you thought. “y/n here, is a new kid. Just moved in from…” He looked to you to finish his sentence for him. 
“I don't even know, I only lived there for three months. Somewhere in south Indiana. Started with a B I think?” you shrugged. You genuinely couldn't remember the name, and the city itself was already a blur in your memory, as with most of the cities you've lived in. 
“Bloomington?” one of the boys to your left asked. He had very curly hair tucked up into a hat that said Thinking Cap .
“Yeah, sure, that sounds right.” You replied, opening your lunch bag and taking out the sandwich you made this morning. “Pretty boring place if you ask me.”
“Hey, wait, are you the one that just moved next door to me?” Another boy to your left asked. This one had shoulder length black hair and bangs, it kind of seemed like he was trying to look like Eddie if you were being honest.
“Probably? I just got here, dude. I don't even know my own address, let alone yours!” You laughed, trying not to sound mean, but wanting to get the message across that you don't know anyone or anything in this town. You took a bite out of your sandwich and looked towards Eddie, who was once again leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed, looking at you.
Eddie laughed and adjusted his sitting position so that he was leaning back just a little bit more, legs spread apart like he owned the place. “She’s new, like I said. But I think she fits in with us already. An outcast, a metal head, possibly a freak like yours truly.” He meant “freak” in the same way that the cheerleader had meant it when she walked into you at your locker; a person who doesn't conform to the normie bullshit and instead proudly displays their true self to the world.… that's probably how he meant it, you think. 
“I appreciate that, Eddie.” you said, smiling at him. Something in his eyes flashed as you said his name, fear? Arousal? Just simple appreciation? You weren't sure.
The rest of the table appeared to accept that you were part of the group immediately. It seemed that Eddie was their leader and they would follow his every word. Again, like he was a king. Unlike other “kings” you had met, Eddie actually seemed to take pride in being a leader; he accepted the responsibility and he cared about his “subjects” a huge amount. He certainly had power, but his friends respected him and his ideas. It felt very fair. 
“So what do you guys do in this town?” You asked between bites of your sandwich. “Sex, drugs, alcohol and loud music?” You were only half joking with that suggestion, they were the main things most people did in every place you've been to, but you were looking for more of a “places to go” answer.
“I mean, you're pretty spot on.” The guy right across the table piped up. He had sort of poofy hair and a plaid vest that had a bunch of pins on it. “We’re in a band so… we’re the loud music bit.” He gestured to Eddie and the two other guys on his side of the table.
“Woah really?” You were honestly a little excited about this information. “I assume a metal band, yeah?”
“Duhhhhh!” Eddie droned, rolling his eyes dramatically. “Nothing else is worth playing.”
“Well, slow down there cowboy.” you laughed, “Other music is good too! Doesn't all have to be sick guitar solos and screaming your lungs out. Sometimes it's nice to chill out to some Elvis.”
“Oh god.” Eddie suddenly looked scared and sick as he stared directly at you. “I was wrong… you're secretly… a normie!” He dramatically flailed his arms and pretended to pass out, like the shock of your extended music taste had killed him. The whole table laughed at him, you included. The sheer drama of this man was keeping you hooked, you were already having fun and you had only just met him. He was comfortable to be around though, like you’d known him since childhood. When he opened his eyes and sat up, you were the first thing he looked at, your smiling face, laughing at his little act.
“You should come watch us play some time!” The guy in the plaid vest offered.
Pulling your eyes away from Eddie, you answered, “I’d love to! Where do you play?” You absolutely would love to see them play! You just hope that they’re some kind of good.
“Every Tuesday at a bar called The Hideout. It's a little far from here.” 
“Oh… well I don't have a car, anyone I could hitch a ride with?” You asked, looking around the table. The younger kids probably didn't have cars either but maybe they had other friends who went to see the band play.
“We can drive you.” Eddie answered quickly. “You can be our first groupie.” You think you saw him wink at you.
“Hold on, really? You never offer rides to non-band members. Something about the sanctity of the van or something?” Plaid vest looked shocked at Eddie’s immediate offer.
“Yeah, well, I've made an exception.” Eddie waved his hand and his words were accepted.
“Really, you don't have to if that's not your thing. I can find my own way there some time, or I'll watch you play someplace else. No biggie. Don't make exceptions for me, I'm not special.” You pleaded. You really didn't want to just force your way into their group, it could end badly if you pissed people off. You could handle being alone or kicked out but you wouldn't be able to handle being the reason the band or the friend group broke up.
“No, really, it's fine. If we bring you along then you'll be forced to listen to our whole set and then maybe we'll finally have a fan!” Eddie explained. “We play tonight if you want to come?”
Suddenly feeling a bit overwhelmed, you pulled away, “I… can’t tonight. I have a lot of unpacking to do. I still have to find all my clothes.” You laughed a little uncomfortably. “Next time though, yeah?”
Eddie looked a little saddened by that, but understanding nonetheless. “That's okay!” He reassured, “Next time.” He gave a warm smile to let you know he wasn't trying to pressure you.
“We- we also have a DnD club!” Thinking Cap kid said excitedly.
At this, your eyes brightened. You'd played DnD a few times at different schools, they always ended on cliffhangers though, because you left before the campaign could really get going. “Really!?” You asked. “That's so cool!”
Everyone at the table got excited then; asking you if you were serious, what kind of character you played, if you've ever DM'd, just question after question, none of them getting answered. You laughed as the boys bombarded you with queries and Eddie progressively got more and more annoyed with them. 
“SHUT UP! SHUT UP!” He yelled, silencing the table immediately, and a few others next to yours. He was standing now and he turned to you, “You're lying right? There's no way you're actually into DnD.” He looked a little hesitant waiting for your answer. Hopeful, maybe, that you were telling the truth. 
“No, I'm not lying! Honestly, I've played a few times but none of the campaigns I've been a part of have gotten anywhere because I moved before we could get to the good stuff.” You explained. 
“Ho-ly-shit!” Eddie said, emphasizing each syllable. “You're perfect. You're actually perfect. Sent from heaven, we've gained an angel, boys!” He raised his arms to the air like he was praising a God, the table roared with excitement again. Then he dropped his hands down onto the table with a bang! Making you all jump a little. 
Suddenly very serious, he leaned into his hands, looming over you slightly and asked “What's your class and level?”
Realizing he was quizzing you, or maybe this was a hazing? You answered immediately, “I play a Half-Elf Paladin named Sebastian. With my limited amount of play time I've managed to eke him up to level 5.” proud of your answer you lifted your chin up to Eddie, showing him you weren't lying and you definitely knew your shit. 
The table was silent again, watching the two of you battle. “Backstory?” He questioned. 
“Sebastian was abducted by a group of thieves when he was 15. He spent 20 years under their command, being the muscle to their brains. One night, the thieves’ camp was raided and Sebastian joined the raiders’ side, killing the people who took him hostage. Now, he's sworn an oath to kill or punish every thief or criminal who holds prisoners or slaves captive. He’s also searching for his lost parents that he was ripped away from.” You held eye contact with him the whole time you told your story. Your character's backstory was something you were very proud of and you weren't going to let him make a fool of you. 
Eddie leaned back away from you, sitting comfortably in his chair again. “Not bad.” he praised. “I'm thoroughly impressed. I guess we can add ‘nerd’ to your list of qualities that make you fit in here.”
You smiled at him, a warm feeling in your chest growing as you felt the validation from him. “Thank you. I wear that title with pride.”
“Okay! So she's joining us right!? This is fricken awesome!” Thinking Cap shook his clenched hands in front of him in excitement. 
Still staring at Eddie, you raised an eyebrow to him, questioning if he wanted you to join or not. 
“That's up to her.” He stated. “I think it's clear that the invitation is open.” 
Glancing at the table full of smiling guys, all of them on the edge of their seat, waiting for your answer, you simply said, “Then I accept.”
The table roared a final time and you received a few pats on the back and a few “Welcome to hellfire!”s. Meanwhile, Eddie was grinning from ear to ear, trying to play down his excitement, but you could see the way he squeezed his crossed arms together, the same way he did when you talked about music in class. He was definitely happy that you said yes. 
When the excitement finally died down and everyone settled into a lighter conversation, Eddie scooted his chair closer to you and whispered somewhat close to your ear. “If we're too much for you, you can tell us to back off. I didn't mean to bombard you with so much shit on your first day. You just seem really cool, and that's rare around here, so I wanted you to have some equally cool friends.”
Turning your head slightly to look at him, you noticed how comfortable he was with being so close to you. And how comfortable you were with it as well. “I'm enjoying it actually,” you whispered back. “I've never felt this welcome before.”
“Good.” Was all he said as he moved away from you, showing off his dimples again with a smile. 
You finished your lunch while listening to the multiple conversations happening around the table. Two boys were bickering, three were talking about guitar solos, and Eddie and Plaid Vest were discussing something very quietly. You thought to yourself “Okay, I definitely think like it here for once.”
“Hey, lunch is almost over,” Plaid Vest announced, looking to you. “What class do you have next?”
Reaching into your back pocket, you pulled out your schedule. “Ummm… History, with O'Donall.” 
“NO WAY!” Eddie yelled from right beside you, startling you a bit. “So do I! Let me see your schedule!” 
You handed the paper over to Eddie and both he and Plaid Vest (you really should have asked everyone’s name) looked over every class. “None of those are with me, unfortunately.” Plaid Vest said, slightly disappointed. The end-of-lunch bell rang and students began packing up their lunches, returning their trays, and leaving the cafeteria. “I'll see you later tho!” He waved at you with a genuine smile and left the cafeteria.
“You’ll never fucking believe this, but we have every single class together!” Eddie said excitedly.
“No way.” You said flatly, you did not believe that one bit. The rest of the table started packing up their things as well and heading out. Everyone gave you a polite “bye” on their way out.
“I'm serious! Well, except for first period, but the rest of today we do! I’d show you my own schedule but it's in my locker.” Eddie insisted. He stood up as you did and kept to your side as you made your way back to your locker to gather your things. 
“So what you're saying is: I'm never going to get rid of you?” You joked, opening up your locker.
“Oh absolutely!” Eddie said with a devilish grin on his face. “Guess you and I have to be friends forever now.”
“Well… forever for me might only be a couple months before I move again, but I think I can handle you for that long.” You teased, pulling the last of your class stuff out of your locker and shutting it.
“You're going to move again? You just got here.” Eddie asked. You both started down the hall towards history class, Eddie leading the way.
“Well, I've moved probably near fifty times in my eighteen years of life, so… it's not unlikely that I'll move again.”
“FIFTY!?” Eddie yelled
“Calm down,” you laughed at his sudden outburst, that number usually surprises people. “Yeah something like that. Makes it hard to keep friends.” You said, sounding a lot sadder than you meant to.
“That fucking blows. Why do you move so much?” Eddie was genuinely curious about you, he was leaning in and listening to your every word.
“You'd have to ask my dad. He pisses off a lot of people and then we’re forced to skip town before he gets his ass beat.” You explained. “He's not in trouble with the cops or anything, just like… landlords, neighbors, bar owners, liquor store employees… pissed off a mayor once too.” God your dad’s a mess.
“Wow, what an asshole.” He stepped through the doorway of your history class and held his arm out in front of him, waving you through like you were royalty. It made you laugh, and made other people stare.
“You're telling me.” You said, exaggerated. You walked past Eddie and quickly made your way to the teacher at the head of the room, wanting to introduce yourself quickly this time so that there weren't so many students in the room for her to announce your presence to.
This teacher, once again, confirmed that this was the right class and welcomed you to Hawkins High. As she finished writing your name on the attendance sheet, a shrill voice let out an exasperated “UGH!” from behind you. 
“This is my seat, you freak! Go find a trash can to sit in, or better yet! Go jump off a bridge!” The same blonde haired cheerleader who had smashed into you in the hall was currently screaming at Eddie, who was sitting at a pair of desks in the third row with his feet on the table, not looking at her at all.
“Miss Blackwell! That is enough! None of these seats belong to anyone! Please find another desk to sit in. Mister Munson has already chosen that one.” Ms. O'Donall stated, sternly. She then sighed and added, “And thank you for joining us today, mister Munson.” sounding like she was annoyed that he showed up at all.
The cheerleader and her friend stomped away from Eddie who was now smiling at you, very proud of himself. They sat down at a different pair of desks which caused another two students who had just walked in, to be upset and move back a row, they caused another two to move, and another, and another, and another. Eddie had just disrupted almost every student’s seating habit single-handedly.
“What are you doing?” you whispered to Eddie as you took your seat next to him. “You really wanted to hear the cheerleaders whine huh?”
“Of course! It sounded like fun when I suggested it, and I didn’t think you would do it, so I did.” He took his feet off the desk in front of him and leaned toward you so only you could hear him. “Plus, I figured this was a good spot, you can see the board from here right?”
Did he really just force some cheerleaders to move seats just so that you wouldn't have to sit at the back of the room and squint to see the board? “Eddie!” You whispered, scolding him a bit. “You did not just do that so I could see the board.” You were looking him directly in the eyes, searching for some other explanation than kindness towards you, someone he just met.
Eddie just shrugged his shoulders with a big smile on his face and leaned back in his chair, assuming the same position as he seemed to always do, arms crossed, legs spread.
You continued to stare at him, bewildered that someone would do that for you. A loud voice pulled you away though, “Miss y/ln. I don't think today's lesson is on mister Munson’s forehead, so could you face the board where it actually is, please?” Ms. O’Donall, who you now know will be a hard-ass, was looking directly at you, lips pursed together. “Sorry.” you said quietly, and turned to face her. She nodded sharply and went back to the lesson. You heard a few giggles from behind you, probably the cheerleaders. 
You took out your notebook and began copying the notes Ms. O'Donall was writing on the board, trying your hardest to not look at Eddie. Something in your head kept wanting to stare at him, to get closer to him, to really make a friend this time around. But you knew if you did that, it would end in heartbreak when you were dragged off to another city with your parents. So you pushed it all down. Hanging out with the boys won't be so bad, there's no harm in having fun, you just won't let yourself get too attached to them and the break will be clean. Hopefully. 
The rest of the day went by smoothly. You managed to get some notes from Ms. O'Donall on the two weeks that you missed so you wouldn't be so behind. And your last class of the day was biology, probably the only class that you learned anything in during all of last year, so it felt like more of a review than new information. Eddie chose to sit you near the front in biology as well, though no one yelled at him in that class, which was honestly surprising. 
When the final bell rang, Eddie followed you once again to your locker. “How did you understand a single thing that Mr. Grinnell said?”
“I've been through it before. This is my second senior year. Fuck every other class, but bio? That's my shit. Well, and art, but that doesn't count.” You explained, pulling your jacket and backpack from your locker. 
“I dunno, I've been through it before too, but I think it made even less sense this time around.” He rubbed his forehead like thinking made his brain hurt. 
You closed your locker and placed your hand on his shoulder. “If you need some help, I don't mind. After all you've done for me so far, I think I owe you something. We can help each other finally finish our senior years. Well… help each other for as long as I'm here.”
Eddie pulled his hand away from his face and looked up at you. “You serious? Because I think I could really use the help. I'm dumb as shit so it might be a challenge, but I'm not gonna say no if it means we get to hang out.” He seemed to be excited about your offer. 
“Yeah, I'm absolutely serious. Gives me a reason to stay away from my house and my parents.” You really hated sitting around the house with your dad who was always drunk and mad, and your mom who was always high and stupid. “But not tonight though, I really do have to find my clothes or else I'll be showing up to school tomorrow in this exact outfit. Plus, you have a gig to get to.” You smiled at him warmly, making sure he knew that you weren't just being nice for the sake of it. You really did like the idea of having someone to keep you on track in school, and you had no problem with helping him do the same. 
“Deal!” He excitedly accepted and stuck out his hand for you to shake. 
You took his hand and gave it a firm shake. “No taking that back now, we've made a deal!” You said, pointing at him. 
He grinned. “Scout's honor!” he swore, raising his hand to place it over his heart, his other hand still holding yours. 
The two of you made your way outside, ready to head home. “Need a ride?” Eddie offered. 
“No, that's okay, I'll walk.” You politely declined. 
“Are you sure? If you live near Wheeler, that's a pretty far walk!” Wheeler must be the kid you moved in next to. The one with black hair that looked like Eddie’s. 
“Honestly, it's not that bad of a walk. I made it to school that way.” Granted, you were late two periods, but that wasn't entirely your fault. You didn't have your alarm clock unpacked yet and you woke up later than you meant to. “It's pretty straightforward. Plus, it's how I usually learn the city. If I get lost, I'll just wander till I find my way back.”
Eddie looked a little worried for a moment so you patted him on the shoulder and reassured him, “I'll be fine. Promise. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah!?” 
He hesitated for a moment but you could see him decide against arguing with you. “Alright then, yeah. See you tomorrow, y/n.” He said, nodding and smiling. 
“Bye, Eddie.” You gave him a big smile and a little wave and headed off in the direction of your new house. 
The walk home took about 20 minutes, plenty of time to sort out your head and take note of all that had happened in the day. You made six friends in one day, definitely a new record for you! You joined a DnD party, possibly became a groupie, pissed off some cheerleaders, and gained a study buddy. There's a good chance that this town wasn't going to be the worst you've ever stayed in. But the looming question of “just how long will this last?” would never leave your mind. 
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lazyjellyfish300 · 1 day
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Gonna get personal here for a sec... because I have nowhere else to turn to.... 😞
I'm a budding author, so I have an agent that I've hired to beta read my stuff, edit, give feedback etc. right?
TBH he was kinda rude at first, he was a stickler about my punctuation and grammar. He even made comments that were borderline unprofessional about my AU, calling it frivolous essentially. So, I bit my tongue for as long as I could, because I didn't want to mess up this opportunity because finding agents and going through the editing process is HARD, y'all.
Well, one day after I got a haircut I noticed he was a little bit softer towards me which threw me off. Idk if it was the haircut but it definitely was the first time I noticed a change in his attitude and so I kind of made a little joke and he laughed. It got me asking about a show we both like to watch and no joke, we sat there on zoom for like an hour and a half just chatting. We didn't even get to discussing the draft at all so I had to end it there bc I had another meeting scheduled. Not going to lie, it felt a little weird & just couldn't get my mind off of it after that.
Well, it turned into smiles, flirty comments here and there. Then one day he just outright asked me if I wanted to get dinner...I knew it was a horrible idea but at this point I had a crush on him so I said yes anyway. He lives far away and flew out here for business but he extended his trip by an extra day JUST to see me. Literally nobody has ever done that for me...
Chat, I don't know what to do....I'm being so selfish but he makes me feel so happy. He buys me flowers and gets me coffee & food while I'm working. Like this man lives in a different time zone from me but he ORDERS DOOR DASH AND UBER EATS and has it delivered to my house. 😩
He listens & doesn't judge me for any of the stupid things I like or hate the fact that I get on Tumblr and write nasty fanfics about a cartoon man.
We can't tell other people about our relationship bc he could lose his job if it's found out he's seeing one of his clients. I'm literally risking everything ffs!!! I know it's wrong, but I can't help it...
Well, I confess I'm in love with him & this is me being honest abt it. Idc anymore...
(don't worry, he's happy, he was just making that face bc he was hungry but I was trying to sit there and take selfies before dinner. My beautiful irl bestie made this for me btw)
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purplehalnw · 2 days
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So I've finished the 13th Doctor's seasons and I was really worried starting out because I've heard a lot of people say the writing is shitty. But now that I'm done... I don't really have anything to be angry at tbh. Like I'm not an expert reviewer so I don't know, it probably is more egregiously bad than I think it is but it just feels like... Nothing. Only like a couple of the episodes have left big impressions on me. A lot of them are just freaking boring and it really comes down to the fact that the characters are so freaking dull.
I saw one person say "they just split one personality four ways with Graham getting most of it" which I think perfectly describes my feelings towards them. Ryan and Yaz have virtually nothing to their characters except for some factors that are barely addressed like Ryan's dyspraxia and issues with his father and Yaz's crush on the Doctor. Like hell even freaking Dan feels like more of a character than them somehow.
And the Doctor herself... Obviously I'm not blaming Jodie Whittaker, she did really well with what she was given, but to me at least she just feels like a toned down version of the 11th Doctor. And like I'm just really disappointed because I was kinda excited to see her Doctor because I had heard that the writers intentionally wrote her as autistic which I thought would be interesting since all the other Doctors were just accidentally written that way. And I can see the seeds of some interesting plotlines. Like they use the Timeless Child plotline as a sort of explanation for why she was and always felt so different from other people of her species and essentially why she acts so autistic. They could've used this as an opportunity to really analyze her behavior and you know create some allegories for neurodivergence or just have her companions explicitly acknowledge how the way she acts aligns with autism. But no they don't do that and obviously a big part of all this writing is the fact that they have a shorter amount of episodes but they don't know how to properly use that time. They mention how the Doctor is socially awkward and doesn't really know who she is anymore but they don't properly delve into her psyche like in previous iterations. And this is because again they have three companions so they have to give all of them something to do but again because there are three of them neither of them can get a great deal of focus either and just ugh.
Like the Doctor should've just had Graham, and maybe his wife Grace who I'm still kinda disappointed they killed off in the first freaking episode, as a companion. Because pretty much all of the Doctor's companions have been women in their early twenties and I think it would've been interesting to switch things up like this. Also again with Grace I feel like it would've been more impactful if we had gotten a full season or even half a season with her before she died. Oh and I would've liked for Graham's cancer to play more of a role with it maybe coming back and him going on constant adventures with the Doctor and trying to do as much as he can before he dies. It would've been really interesting to see a companion die of something completely normal yet unavoidable after having survived all of these dangerous adventures. It would've been really sad to see the Doctor just trying to keep it all together and make Graham happy when she can't do anything about him slowly dying in front of her.
Overall the 13th Doctor's seasons were just full of missed opportunities and it's incredibly saddening.
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Do you think gay marriage is legalized in the WW (at least in Harry’s time in the 90s)? I lean towards no as I don’t really see the WW being that anymore progressive (most likely less) than we are when it comes to sexuality (Also I don’t think it helps that they are a culture that highly values continuing the magical bloodlines). What’s your take?
I agree with you here. I don't think it's likely that they legalized same-sex marriages.
In Hogwarts Legacy, there are Nora and Priya Tradwell who are two women who were married to each other in 1890. That being said, I don't really consider HL 100% canon since other aspects of it contradict the books (the castle is gorgeous but why is the potions classroom not in the dungeons?!). So, I'm kinda picking and choosing what's canon when it comes to the video games.
But in the books, we don't see any indication that it's legal or treated any differently than in the muggle world at the time.
The only real reference I could recall from the books to anything gay (explicitly) is Dudley taunting Harry about being gay (because this happened):
“What d’you mean, I’m not brave in bed?” said Harry, completely nonplussed. “What — am I supposed to be frightened of pillows or something?” “I heard you last night,” said Dudley breathlessly. “Talking in your sleep. Moaning.” “What d’you mean?” Harry said again, but there was a cold, plunging sensation in his stomach. He had revisited the graveyard last night in his dreams. Dudley gave a harsh bark of laughter then adopted a high-pitched, whimpering voice. “ ‘Don’t kill Cedric! Don’t kill Cedric!’ Who’s Cedric — your boyfriend?” “I — you’re lying —” said Harry automatically. But his mouth had gone dry. He knew Dudley wasn’t lying — how else would he know about Cedric? “ ‘Dad! Help me, Dad! He’s going to kill me, Dad! Boo-hoo!’ ” “Shut up,” said Harry quietly. “Shut up, Dudley, I’m warning you!” “ ‘Come and help me, Dad! Mum, come and help me! He’s killed Cedric! Dad, help me! He’s going to —’ Don’t you point that thing at me!” Dudley backed into the alley wall. Harry was pointing the wand directly at Dudley’s heart. Harry could feel fourteen years’ hatred of Dudley pounding in his veins — what wouldn’t he give to strike now, to jinx Dudley so thoroughly he’d have to crawl home like an insect, struck dumb, sprouting feelers — “Don’t ever talk about that again,” Harry snarled. “D’you understand me?”
(OotP, 15)
I can't say much more than Harry is bothered, whether it is about the assumption that Cedric is his boyfriend or that Dudley makes fun of Cedric's death is up to guesswork (I think it's probably a bit of both). But it doesn't appear other sexualities are any more accepted or openly talked about in the WW compared to the muggle one. I'd say even less in all likelihood.
I also agree with you on how important having children and continuing the family line is for pure-bloods (which is at least 50% of their population), I doubt they encourage gay marriage. Honestly, the more accepting pure-bloods probably treat it like: "Sleep with whoever you want in your free time, but get married and give us an heir", while other families are probably worse.
That being said, we do see on the family tapestry that both Alphard Black and Cassiopia Black didn't get married or have kids, so if you have enough siblings to carry the family line for you, you could get away with not getting married and having children. But with how Andromeda was disowned for marrying a muggleborn, it's likely anything less than the perfect pure-blood marriage would have had to stay fairly hidden for you to not get disowned.
I also agree that with how archaic many aspects of their culture are (from quills to their education standards, to candles, to the fact canning students was practiced at Hogwarts when Molly and Arthur Weasley were students, etc...), it's highly unlikely they're more progressive than muggles when it comes to, well, anything. Like, indoor plumbing supposedly came to Hogwarts in the 18th century alongside the muggle advancements in this field, but it was noted in Pottermore that wizards rarely copy from muggles to such a degree. So, I don't think wizards would be pioneering gay rights or anything like that.
So, yeah, I agree, I don't think same-sex couples could legally get married in the Wizarding World as there is no indication they can, but I don't think they're getting executed either (as was the case in the UK in the late 19th century), so, there's at least that. I think it's treated like a dirty secret that'll cause a scandal in some circles, but it's not illegal to be gay in the WW.
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royalarchivist · 1 month
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[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]
Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?
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[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*
Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.
Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!
Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.
* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.
#Pactw#QSMP#Pac#March 18 2024#As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators#I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore#I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know#like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on#And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation#but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk.#I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about#esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources#and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive''#but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this''#''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?''#And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know#idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info#Happy to hear other folks' perspective#I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those#but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric#which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs#but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying#Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript#that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing#and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate#idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags#But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter#Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn
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aptx!kaito au in which Shinichi doesn't know aptx exists and feels insane that his leading theory is "a six year old is the mastermind behind Kaitou Kid"
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michaeljoncarter · 6 months
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i really don't mean to sound like a dick, but the more i see people trying to talk about "nuclear/traditional families" vs "non-traditional/chosen families," the more it really seems like a lot of people have absolutely no idea what the hell they're talking about or what these "chosen families" that defy the traditional family structure they claim to like so much even really look like
sorry, but "what if there was no mom" is not some crazy, groundbreaking unconventional dynamic. yes, the dictionary definition of a nuclear family is "het couple + kids," but also it's not 1956 anymore. single parent families are basically just nuclear family lite at this point. there's really nothing all that mold-breaking about an only-technically-non-nuclear-family where the only real difference is that you deleted the woman lol
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musicians should make it a point to have daylight shows instead of only nighttime concerts, send tweet
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i’m gonna be so honest i have no fucking clue what's going on in malevolent
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kanerallels · 1 month
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Hate when I start writing something that is, technically, cute, but then immediately starts to feel out of character/contradictory to what I already wrote
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antiqua-lugar · 2 months
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For Not-Italians, an Italian rapper said "Stop the genocide" at the end of his final performance at the Sanremo Song Contest and got called out by the Israel embassy for "spreading hate".
You can read the article for yourself, but what the article doesn't say is that our goverment who is now falling over themselves to support Israel and claiming to fight against all anti semitism is lead by the Brothers of Italy (Fratelli d'Italia) which is a fascist party.
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