#I know 2 selfies in 2 days but I’m shameless
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The Louvre
https://open.spotify.com/track/5q4BpnMrYEFzLO0dYODj6J?si=2b748fedb75c4a05
To @myscprin who asked #64 for Tianshan !!
. . .
A rush at the beginning
I get caught up, just for a minute
But lover, you're the one to blame
All that you're doing
Can you hear the violence?
Megaphone to my chest
Broadcast the boom, boom, boom, boom
And make 'em all dance to it
. . .
Mo Guanshan groaned for the nth time as he checked the time on his phone again. 2:50 pm. Was it too late to bail now?
Somehow, really he can’t even remember what they were talking about (or why he was even talking to that bastard in the first place), but somehow it slipped out from his cursed mouth that he’s never been to an art museum. And because He tian, being the leech that he is, latched on to that thought and pestered him until he agreed to go with him to this art museum that recently opened this coming weekend.
He even cleared out his part-time work for the day with a copious amount of bribe to the manager. Bastard.
So here he was now suspiciously early at the front of the museum waiting, really it’s just because He tian won’t stop whining in his ear if he didn’t agree. It has nothing to do with the ravenette insisting it’s a date, it is not. Case in point, he DOESN’T want to be here, really really.
“Fucking chicken dick, being late. What the hell is taking him so long?” Mo Guanshan grumbled once he saw the clock hit 3 pm.
“Or maybe you’re just early. Are you that excited to go on a date with me?” He tian whispers in his ear from behind causing him to tense up at the sudden intrusion in his personal space.
“FUCK! WHO’S EXCITED?! YOU’RE EXCITED!” Mo screamed, whipping around and throwing a punch at the smug bastard who easily caught it in his own hand, smoothly entwining their hands together. Mo Guanshan sputtered at the shameless gesture, trying in vain to grab his hand back. “Trying” being the key word.
He tian simply ignores his protests and drags him along to the entrance. Knowing that it’s a loss cause to keep cursing out the smug bastard, Mo reduced his protests to grumbles, but not before squeezing He tian’s hand in a crushing grip, satisfied at the look of discomfort he received.
He tian pays for their tickets and they head inside, Mo looks around curiously, there were paintings in every wall of the room, and he moved closer to look at one of them, He tian being surprisingly docile and following him quietly.
The painting turns out to be an abstract art, showcasing a messy mix of shades of yellow seemingly not forming an image. He tilted his way this way and that, trying to see what it’s about but coming up empty so he huffed, frustrated.
“It kind of reminds me of Jian yi, noh?” He tian suddenly speaks up, taking a picture of the painting and sending it to said blonde.
“What?”
“See? It’s messy and too bright. It’s even in yellow.”
Mo Guanshan snickers at that, looking back at the painting and finally seeing the resemblance.
“You think we’ll see Zhengxi here too?”
“Probably, the universe might collapse if they’re not together, even as paintings.”
Mo Guanshan allows himself to share a short laugh with He tian before he schooled his features to his usual ‘bitchface’. He tian drags him off to the other paintings on the wall, sharing a few words about the pieces and mostly shit-talking each other.
“This reminds me of you.”
“The fuck am I looking at? It’s literally a drawing of a dumb-looking fish.”
“Exactly.”
‘Wha- YOU FUCKER WHO ARE YOU CALLING A DUMB FISH?!”
They spend a few more minutes in the room, and getting disapproving glances they completely ignore from the other patrons because of their antics, before moving to another part of the exhibit.
They spend hours taking pictures as Mo reluctantly agrees to ONE picture with He tian, on his phone of course so he can delete it right after (He won’t, he just doesn’t want to ask He tian to send the photo to him if they used the other’s phone) and debating about which artwork reminds them of which.
One of the highlights of the trip was when He tian found out that there were beds scattered around a portion of the exhibit, free to sit and lay on by visitors. He drags Mo to the beds, the redhead digging his feet on the ground trying desperately to avoid getting them both banned for public indecency. Once again, “trying” being the keyword.
After a warning from one of the guards, they simply laid side by side on the bed, uncharacteristically quiet as they watched the clouds pass by and the sun slowly go down the horizon.
“I’ve never actually been to an art museum before.” He tian says quietly, resolutely keeping his gaze on the skies even as Mo guanshan turns to look at him in surprise. For all the times the ravenette had pestered and straight-up invaded Mo guanshan’s life, He tian almost never shares anything about himself.
“I always wanted to go to one, I remember I used to keep bugging my mom and my brother about it, but no one would take me so I kinda just forgot about it.” The way He tian says it was full of longing, like he was remembering something from a long time ago.
Mo guanshan gets the sudden urge to make that longing disappear, to keep it away from the other where it wouldn’t burden him anymore. He mentally shook his head to dislodge the thought. Just as he was about to tell the other that they should get off the bed already and maybe find something to eat, his breath caught on his throat at the new sight.
Boom, boom, boom
He can feel his heart thudding in his chest as He tian turned his head to look at him, eyes devoid of anything but fondness and a smile so soft it felt illegal to look at it. He looks relaxed, content, and in love.
“But I’m glad that I got to experience it with you instead.” He tian says softly, his skin glowing a vibrant orange from the last bits of sunlight clinging to him like a fire that Mo guanshan wants to reach out to, to put out if only to fully see his face untainted.
Boom, boom, boom
He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it until his hand touches a warm cheek, cradling it softly. He tian looks surprised at the gesture, but makes no move to get away or to get closer. Wasn’t it He tian before who said it? That sometimes the distance between two people makes you desire to close it, to come closer…
Boom, boom, boom
And closer…
Boom, boom, boom
Just a little closer…
“I’m going to have to ask you to leave, gentlemen.” The same guard from earlier says, as he crosses his arms impatiently. Realizing what he’s about to do, in public no less, Mo guanshan jumps up the bed and starts speedwalking to another portion of the exhibit. He tian simply sighs and stands as well to follow his redhead, but not before giving a scathing glare at the guard who interrupted them only to receive a glare right back. Rude.
He catches up to Mo and slings an arm around his shoulder. He was going to ask about what happened earlier and if they could continue where they left off, but he notices the way the other’s cheeks and ears are flamed red and resolutely trying to avoid his eyes so he takes pity and chooses to let it go for now.
They find a small fancy cafe inside the museum and decide to get dinner there, where Mo guanshan buys a shocked He tian a mango shake, saying it’s only a little payback for everything the other teen had to pay for today. He tian bribes the manager to let him keep the cup as a souvenir. By the time they finished they were both tuckered out from all the walking and sightseeing.
“I had fun today, Mo~” He tian sing-songs as he walks Mo guanshan to his door, having insisted to drive the other home (“Where did you even get a car? You’re literally underaged.”).
“Tch. Whatever. Stop bothering me already.” Mo guanshan grumbles, before muttering under his breath, “Just get home safely, idiot.”
He tian grins as he hears the other’s sweet (?) reminder, he thinks about it for a moment before shrugging and moving swiftly to plant a kiss on the other’s cheek, near the side of his mouth but not quite. Before Mo guanshan can muster up a response from his sputtering, he jumped away and swiftly walked backwards to his car with a, “Will do, boss Mo! Bye-bye~”
“Yo- YOU! COME BACK HERE!”
He tian laughs as he gets inside his car and drives away with a final flying kiss out the window to the redhead. Once he’s parked in his spot in the mansion, he checks his phone and grins at the messages he received from his redhead.
Don’t close mountain:
YOU FUCKING DICKHEAD !!!!!
OI WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!!!
You better not check your phone while driving or I’m going to skin you alive.
Tch. Asshole.
Don’t close mountain sent a photo.
(Photo: The two of them taking a selfie in front of a sculpture of two people made of metal wires intertwined on a swing set)
Because I know you’ll be an asshole if I don’t send it
This is your fault so take responsibility, chicken dick
I’m free next Sunday
Oh he can’t wait to brag about this to Jian yi, He tian grins as he giddily walks into the mansion in search of the blonde.
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Hii again! 💞 Here I am at 2:30am knowing perfectly that almost of all you are sleeping but i guess this could be a nice thing to wake up. Or I hope at least. I know I told you guys I was going to finish the fic this week, but I lied... 🙈 hahaha I also lied when I said it will be 2k per chapter because here I’m with a 4k ch and thinking about an epilogue (So 5 ch in total and not only 4) but you dont care about all of this. So I hope you like this part as much as the other and thank you so much. 🥰💗🥰💗 (ao3 link on the title)
Ch 1 // Ch 2
.
“The things i do for you”
Chapter 3:
We have been in two more parties after that one, and things should not go well because Robbe is every day more into the fake relationship. We arrived early at the next party, this time the house is from Jens’s ex-girlfriend, Jana, I think. Robbe has told me about it because he thinks we should look especially loving with the other since Jens still has feelings for her. Well... we are definitely doing the part of being affectionate, but I’m not so sure that this is stoping Jens in any way.
As soon as we got there, Robbe made us sit on a sofa in the garden. His friends were already there, so they talked a little bit. Robbe was between my legs resting against my chest while I played with his hair. We must be like that for just ten minutes before Robbe kissed me. At the moment I thought we were going to kiss for a few moments and then he would be talking with his friends again. Well, that was not the case.
It’s already midnight, and I told you that we came early and that Robbe spoke with his Moyo and Jens for only ten or fifteen minutes. So I think it is fair to say that we been kissing in front of them for at least TWO HOURS! And don’t get me wrong I’m not complaining, but, to be honest, if we keep it like this, I might be dead by the end of the night.
“Robbe, man are you going to be sucking your boyfriend’s face all night,” Jens says, his voice sound annoyed, but I can’t tell why.
I mean, I will be annoyed too if my best friend let me alone for three parties in a row. Robbe didn’t hear him or doesn’t care because he keeps kissing me. I hear Jens calling him one more time.
Moving my kisses along his jaw, I whisper in his ear. “Baby?” I say while I pretend to be playing with his earring.
“Humm?” Robbe murmur and doesn’t open his eyes.
I chuckle softly, he seems to be in his own bubble. “Baby… Jens wants your attention.”
“Who?” He says, hiding his face in my neck.
“The man of your dreams,” I joke.
“You are the man of my dreams” He whispers between kisses on my skin.
I feel like my whole body freeze. “What?”
“What?” Robbe says confused, this time, he is more alert and looking at me.
“What did you say?” I ask because he couldn’t have said what I think he said, right?
“I said, Johan, is the man of my dreams…” The fuck is he talking about? “The Dutch football player... I was joking,” Robbe says, laughing and caressing my frown.
“Oh, okay..” I have no clue of what Robbe had said, I’m not a big football fan like him, but I guess it has more sense than what I heard.
“Hey, bro, are you going to be all night eating Sander’s face? It’s like the third night you ignore us. You have him all the time, what about us?” Jens tries again now that Robbe is not distracted.
And at this point, I’m pretty sure Robbe’s best friend is not jealous of me because I’m his ‘boyfriend’ but more possible because of how little time his best friend hangs with him nowadays. I tried to say it to Robbe yesterday, but once again, he didn’t listen.
Robbe’s cheeks turn pink, and I hug him from behind. “Yes, you are right. I’m sorry I got to carry away.”
“It’s fine Robbe, I get you guys are in the honeymoon phase. Wanna come inside for some new drinks?” Jens offers.
“Yes! Give me a sec,” Robbe says, and Jens only nods at him, already heading to the house.
Robbe looks at me, smiling, and I smile at him too. He is so sweet and I'm so fucking in love. He gets closer and bumps his nose with mine.
“He is not here anymore, you know?” I ask playfully.
“I know,” He says in the same tone. Robbe doesn’t move. “Jens can wait for a minute.”
Robbe takes my face in his hands and kisses me again. He is so tendered and gentle; he makes it super easy to get lost in it.
“This part of your plan?” I say after some time pass.
“Oh yeah, sure.” Robbe answers without stoping his kisses.
“You need to go,” I laugh.
“In a minute,” He pushes himself further in my body.
“A minute has passed,” I joke.
“I’m going,” He says, not moving or stoping our kiss.
“I still see you here,” Robbe whine and starts to stand up, pulling my face giving me peaks in my mouth.
“No, you don’t.” He pouts, making me laugh even more.
“Baby, you need to go,”
“Okay, okay” He finally says
Robbe walks a few steps before coming back to me.
“One more,” He says, leaning down to kiss me again.
We kiss for a minute, deeply. After another minute pass, my neck hurts because of the rare position we are kissing. But before I can move, Robbe pushes away to look at my eyes. He smiles, and like he didn’t have just stole my heart, he runs towards the house.
What the fuck had just happened.
**
Thursdays are busy days for me. I work part-time in a tattoo shop while I finish my two last years of college. I’m drawing the sketches for my weekend clients and some original pieces in case anyone comes wanting a random tattoo. I like my job, I can paint all day, people used to be really kind, and because the owner is my best friend, I get to keep the majority of my profits. Noor only let me pay my part of the bills and nothing more.
I’m drawing a European dragon for a girl I have on Saturday when my phone beeps. Usually, I don’t answer it while I’m drawing, but it must be Robbe for the time. The only moments when I don’t respond to him are because I’m with a client, yes I’m weak for him.
“I think u should send me some photos,” I read, and I don’t have a fucking clue of what it’s he saying, so I call him.
“Hey, baby,” I say once Robbe picks up.
“Hi! Have you finished early today? I missing you…”
“I miss you too, but I still have work.”
“Buuuh… I can’t wait to see you.”
“That’s why you want the photo?” I ask unsure, he has never done that, but he’s been acting weird lately.
“Yes, I guess I can say so.”
“Okay, I’m gonna send you a selfie later, send me one too”
“What? No, that’s no the type of photo I meant.”
Suddenly an idea hit me. I’m possibly wrong. No! I have to be wrong.
“What kind of photo do you want, baby?” I ask, instead.
“Wait! I do want the selfie. Miss your pretty face.”
“I miss you too, baby.” I see Noor rolling her eyes. But being real, we haven’t seen each other for a week.
Robbe has a big exam coming tomorrow, and he wanted to be focus only on that. Sure, we speak every night, but it’s not the same.
“Don’t avoid my question what type of photo?”
“I have been thinking…” Robbe says and a month ago that wouldn’t scare me. Today? I’m terrified. “We need to have some hot pics from the other on our phones and some dirty chats. It won’t be realistic if we don’t.”
Yep, that’s precisely what I had thought.
“Who is going to see our phones, Robbe?”
“I don’t know anyone! Jens uses my phone a lot. He says I have a better camera for our skate videos.”
“Okay, but why would Jens look into our chats?”
“No, the chat, the gallery.”
“Okay, I get what you mean, yet we are not doing it.”
“Why not? It hasn’t to thaaat dirty.”
“No, no, no. I’m not texting you that only to make Jens jealous.”
“Humm.. okay, can I text you some?”
Kill me if I don’t want those photos, but just because of that is why I won’t accept it. I can’t do it, those photos would mean totally different things for us. And yes, when we kiss is similar, but I know Robbe at least enjoys kissing me. The phots would be a completely different story.
“Why don’t you take them and leave them there? If Jens is going to see the gallery, he won’t actually know you didn’t send it to me.”
“Oh! You’re right… sometimes you are such a genius.”
“Sometimes?”
“Yes, if you were like that all the time, you would accept my photos. I guess it’s your loss, I have some notable photos.” Robbe says, making me laugh, maybe he is right.
We talked for a few moments more before Robbe had to go back to his study. Once we hang up, I rest my forehead on the table.
“He is going to kill me Noor... and I will fucking thank him,” I say, looking at the floor.
“What does lovely Robbe ask you this time? It can’t be worst than kiss him to make someone else jealous.” She asks, amused.
“He wanted us to send dirty photos to each other,” I admit in a whisper.
“Damn, your boy likes to torture, or he is doing it on propose?” Noor asks, but the reality can not be farther away from it.
“Robbe is not even aware that I could at least get horny because of him.” And I honestly don’t know-how. It’s not like I’m that great of an actor.
“Hahaha, well, I think its good you tell him no, sometimes you are too soft with his desired.”
A deep silence grows between us. What should I say? That I finally tell him no because I won’t be able to not see those pics and not want to pin him in the wall.
“Sander…?” Noor says with wide eyes, “Please tell me you don’t fucking agree to do it!”
“I don’t agree, but not because of that. It was because of how bad I want those photos. I’m still soft.”
So fucking soft for him, and I’m so shameless about it. I mean I literally call him baby, I kiss his cheeks and neck all the time. I know people notice it, Robbe’s friends, our families, my best friend Noor. She actually didn’t believe me that we weren’t together until she met Robbe. I was even dumped by my ex because of my love for Robbe.
“You need help, man. And I think I have the best idea.” Noor smiles maliciously.
“What idea?” I frown, I don’t like how this sounds.
“Have you told him Lucas is coming back this weekend?” She says.
“No, why would I? He doesn’t like him.” I say, trying to not assume the worst.
“Of course he doesn’t, Luc steal your attention from him.” Noor laughs like it was apparent.
And I wish it was true, but Lucas definitely didn’t steal my attention from Robbe. Lucas knows it, even Robbe knows it.
“Nobody steals my attention from him, Noor. I thought that was the problem.” I say.
“Okay, but you give Lucas more than you gave to the rest of us even if it less than to Robbe,” Noor admits my biggest shame. Robbe holds all the power over me. “He knows it, and that’s why he doesn’t like your Lucas.”
“He is not my Lucas anymore, Noor.”
And He is not with me because Lucas is not fucking blind like Robbe is. Robbe didn’t like him from the start, he told me Luc seems too much like a snake. On the other hand, Lucas did like Robbe; he told me he totally gets why I was in love with my best friend. We were together for two months before they met, and tried to stay together for one month more after they met. It didn't work.
“Nah, details.” She waves off my words.
“I’m not gonna use my ex to make Robbe jealous. I think we already have enough with him and his best friend,” I say.
Lucas doesn’t deserve that, and neither does Robbe. If he wants to be oblivious for the rest of his life is his call and not mine.
“I’m not saying you should kiss your ex-boyfriend. Just let Robbe know he is here,” Noor explains, but I can see her intentions.
If you want to know what happened in the end, he dumped me. Lucas wasn’t mad at me, but he said that it was challenging to be with someone that already had all of his ‘needs’ covered by someone else and that if he could only give me sex, it was better to end things. And as a shame as I got back then it was the truth. I like him, I care for him, and I’m sure that if I didn’t have Robbe, I would fall in love with him. But in the real-life, I am madly in love with my best friend, and Luc was nothing more than a friend with benefits. Well, he kinda still is. Yet now that things were clear between us, it is so much more healthy.
**
Friday night came quickly, and thank goodness because I can’t stand not seeing my baby boy anymore. A knock in the door surprise me Robbe has his own key. When I open the door a pair of blue eyes stare at me, Lucas has a cocky smile on his lips like he knows something I don’t.
“Hi sexy,” Lucas says, and before I can greet him back, he is kissing me.
It’s not that we don’t kiss. We fool around a lot when he came to visit, but not like this, it only happens when we are in the mood. What it's usually late at night after a few drinks. When Lucas finally pull off, I see it. Behind him is Robbe lying in the wall, arms crossed, and an annoyed look on his eyes. He is mad as hell, and I suddenly understand the love show, but why…? Oh, wait! Noor. She told him, and of course, Lucas is in. He had always like to annoy Robbe.
“Are you going to come in?” I ask Robbe when he doesn’t move.
“I don’t know, is he going to stay?” He says grumpily.
I know I shouldn’t because Robbe is trying to look mad, but he looks so adorable. I want to eat him, kiss by kiss.
“No, Luc just came to drop some stuff I asked him from Amsterdam,” I say more for Lucas than for Robbe.
Robbe doesn’t answer, he enters without hugging me even if we hadn’t seen each other for a whole week. We sit on the floor where I have some pillows and blankets as a couch. I don’t need to tell you that Robbe sat in my lap and ignored Luc for the ten minutes that we probably spend talking, right? Once Lucas left, we decide to go for some cheeseburgers to our favorite bar.
Usually, we eat in the same spot on the sofas next to the window. Yet tonight something is different we are in our place, but Robbe isn’t sitting in front of me like always, he doesn’t even sits next to me. He is literally as glue to my body as a public place will allow it. Robbe is turned to the side so he can look at me. He also has his leg on top of mine under the table, and he is stealing my chips. I can think that it is because of our time apart and that he has missed me yet… something feels too much for one week of not seen each other.
“I want you to give me a hickey,” Robbe says out of nowhere, and of course, he does it while I’m drinking.
“What?” I manage to say after I have choked with my soda.
“Yeah, couples do it,” Robbe says, caressing my back like it would help me to stop the cough.
This is a big red flag. This needs to stop now! Robbe has to be joking. I mean… really? No, he doesn’t want that. He is joking, he is joking, he is joking.
“Not all couples, baby,” I say because if I question him and this is not a joke, he will be mad at me again, but we all know it is a joke.
Robbe looks at me like I’m dumb, and at this point, I think I am. Fuck, did I tell you how close this position makes us be? Too close.
“Okay, but if you do, I can make Jens jealous even when you are not there,” Robbe explains.
He wasn’t joking. I feel my body panic, I told him no one time yesterday. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do it one more time, even less now that we are face to face. Tonight he can pull off his pup’s eyes and enchant me with his soft honey baby voice. This fight is lost before it has started, and for the smile, on his lips, Robbe knows it.
“No way, if you want to make him jealous…” I need to think fast, “I don’t know, talk to him about how great I am.”
That sounded like I’m so full of myself, but Robbe only rolls his eyes at me.
“I do that all the time it won’t work.”
“Baby, I can’t; how do you want me to do it? Are you going to lie down while a pretend to be Edward Cullen?” I joke, trying to lighten the mood.
“Sander, pleaseeeeee.” There he is… using all his power over me.
“I cant! A hickey is not something that you planned. It occurred,” I say honestly.
“What do you mean?” Robbe asks, doubting for the first time.
This is my opportunity. Robbe had never had a formal boyfriend. He had made out and date a few boys over the years since he came out, but nothing more happened. And thank god because I hated every single one of them, but that’s not the point. The point is that Robbe is not a kid, but he isn’t the most experience boy either. So if I can convince him that hickeys are not something you can do only by asking, maybe I can escape this without actually saying not to him.
“What I’m trying to say is that couples got to that point when the things got sexual between them.”
I explain, but Robbe still look at me like that wasn’t enough. Holy shit! This is not working… maybe if I am more explicit?
“For example, you are making out for hours, and then you kiss other parts of them because you both are horny. Or you are already having sex with them, and you kiss and bite whatever place of skin you find.”
I see how Robbe thinks about it for a moment. I don’t know if it was enough, but it was kind of the truth. He eats his chips in silence, still thinking. This is not working, it’s taking him too much time. What on earth could he be thinking?
“I can’t just give you one baby,” I add.
Finally, Robbe looks at me and Oh Boy! That’s it. I have lost the battle. I have no idea what if he about to say, but he has that look in his eyes. The one I told you he did when he asked me how does it feel to be kissed? Yeah, that look. I know I am going to say yes.
“But, I want one.. from you.” Robbe whispers.
And I open my mouth to say no. I swear to god I did, but my brain should be damage because I find myself agreeing to this nonsense.
“Holy shit! Okay, wait until we get home and we’ll see how it works.” I say, already regretting all of my life choices.
“Yes! Thank you, thank you. You are so good with me.” He says happily.
Robbe takes my face between his hands and kisses me all over it. And yes, of course, I’m smiling and melting on him like a stupid.
“Sometimes, I think I spoiled you too much.”
Sometimes I say! Hahaha, I laugh at my own joke.
“Never! You are perfect. Do you want one too?” Robbe says, still holding my face.
“What?”
“Yes, I can give you one if you want to make someone jealous.” He jokes playfully.
“Thank you, baby, but I won’t need it.” I decide to be honest.
Maybe I can stop myself from giving him everything he asks, but at least I can stop him from giving it to me.
“You know it been a while since the last time I saw you with someone.” Robbe realizes for the first time in two years, and I don’t know if it is good or not.
“Yeah, Brittany left me with no desire for dating.” I lie a little because it’s not the complete story “Also, I thought you were with me.” I joke, trying to change the conversation.
The real reason was that I am a relationship person. I don’t enjoy randoms hookups and dates with strangers. So after Brittany, I only date a few times with some friends, and well, there was also Luc. But I never had something serious again. I kinda missed having a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I miss being loved and loved someone un return.
“Don’t name her, you are going to make me puke my food.” He sticks his tongue out in a grimace.
“It wasn’t that bad. And She had a nice red hair”
Maybe she wasn’t the best, but I can’t blame her.
“She controlled you all the time… and She once told me you will be better without me,” Robbe says and keeps eating.
“She did what?” I ask, shock by the news.
“I remember it was so funny. Brittany came one day and told me, ‘Sander spend too much on you. He will be better without you, Robbe’ what a bitch.” Robbe answer laughing.
I want to laugh too, but I can’t because I don’t understand why Robbe has never told me about it. And all the possibilities of things that he has never told me before. I take his jaw, making him lock eyes with me.
“Why you never told me this?” I ask seriously.
“Oh, because you guys broke a week after that. And I didn’t believe her. I know I’m the best part of your life because you are the best of mine.” He explains to me.
Robbe smile and boop my nose, I’m frozen. I literally have no idea what to say. The only thing I can do is look at him in silence.
“Aww, you guys are so cute together.” the waitress tells us when she brings the bill.
“Thank you,” Robbe says without correcting her, and that just left me even more confused.
I still numb to the time we get back home. To be honest, I don’t know how we get here. I think… I think Robbe paid because it was his turn, and then he took my hand, and we walked here holding hands. I’m not sure, we had never done that. Maybe I just imagining it.
We are lying on the bed, and Robbe is looking for a movie, and obviously, he choose for the one hundred times, Romeo and Juliet. I should take a shower, clear my mind. This is also the first free night of Robbe after his exam, and I saw him yawning the whole dinner, so probably if I take a long shower when I come back, he is already sleeping.
“Okay, how do you want me?” Robbe says, and it’s the first thing that penetrates my thoughts in the last half hour.
I know exactly what he means, and I have no escape or a clue of how to do this.
“Oh my god, don’t say it like that, Robbe,” I beg, almost crying.
“You are so grumpy with me today.” He says next to me. “I think I had pushed you too much. Lets just cuddle and watch the movie.”
Robbe pulls me into his arms and lets my head lie in his chest. I love when he does that, it makes me feel so safe and love. I forget about the world when we sleep like this. Robbe doesn’t speak for the rest of the night, he only kisses my forehead while I play with his necklace. We watch the movie like this until we fall asleep. And fuck me if I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with him.
.
.
Kisses to all of you please tell me what you think and stay safe! 🥰
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I didn’t intend for it to get like 1.3k words but I hope you folks will forgive me for this slightly longer than normal spiciness u3u
And tumblr has now become allergic to doing readmores on asks so I guess this is how I’m uploading these from now on
Me (2:30 a.m.): Hey Dante
Me (2:30 a.m.): Are you awake?
You squeeze your eyes shut and hesitate a moment. It was really late at night, maybe you shouldn’t– but then it had already been a week since the last time you and Dante were able to speak, right? He had to be hoping for a message too, right?
You click send before you can talk yourself out of it, pressing your phone to your chest. The second it touches your skin it buzzes with a notification. You jolt with it, fumbling to unlock it and open your messages.
Dante (2:30 a.m.): Tfdddfff
You roll your eyes and snort, affection blooming in your chest.
Me (2:31 a.m.): Uh, I’m guessing that’s a “kinda”
A moment passes, then another. You were half expecting another response, but Dante’s probably falling back asleep. Best get to business. You click into your photo gallery, browse through the pictures you took earlier. If you didn’t have at least one thing prepared, you knew you’d lose your nerve- you hadn’t exactly done this before…
You select your favorite picture of the set. The shot starts just at your half cheeky, half shy smile- a smile that says it knows the way Dante’s eyes will trail slowly down to your breasts, cupped and pushed up to full advantage by the delicate red lace of your new lingerie set. You squeeze your eyes shut again and desperately try to send it like that, fumbling to press the arrow without having to look. You only know you’ve sent it when your phone buzzes with the reply.
Me (2:40 a.m.): <Image Sent>
Dante (2:40 a.m.): oh damn
Me (2:40 a.m.): That got you up fast!
Dante (2:41 a.m.): you have no idea
Dante (2:41 a.m.): you look damn good in that
Dante (2:41 a.m.): is it new?
Me (2:42 a.m.): I bought it like a week ago, it was supposed to be a surprise for when you came back home :/
Dante (2:42 a.m.): sorry babe
Dante (2:42 a.m.): didnt mean for this mission to go on so long
Me (2:42 a.m.): I miss you
Dante (2:43 a.m.): i miss you too babe
Dante (2:43 a.m.): you feeling a little frustrated?
Dante (2:43 a.m.): i can help you out if you want
Despite yourself, you feel your cheeks burn up. You initiated this and yet he still finds a way to make you blush about it.
Me (2:44 a.m.): Wow, how brave
Dante (2:45 a.m.): answering your booty calls is serious work but someone has to do it
Dante (2:46 a.m.): speaking of which
Dante (2:46 a.m.): is that top part of a matching set?
You snort and shimmy up the bed, leaning on your side against the headboard. You open your camera and snap another picture- a shot down the length of your legs and a generous peek at the curve of your ass.
Me (2:50 a.m.): <Image Sent>
Me (2:57 a.m.): Dante? You still there?
Dante (3:00 a.m.): damn, just damn
Dante (3:01 a.m.): have i ever mentioned how much i love you in thigh highs?
Me (3:02 a.m.): Once or twice maybe~
Me (3:02 a.m.): You always shred them whenever I try to wear them in bed
Dante (3:03 a.m.): what can I say, babe
Dante (3:03 a.m.): you just have this effect on me
Dante (3:04 a.m.): <Image Received>
You stop typing your response, eyebrows flicking up in surprise as you sink down into the bed. You click on the icon to download the picture. After a torturous couple of seconds, it pops up.
Oh. You’d recognize that body anywhere. It’s a selfie kind of shot, framing Dante from chest to thighs. His shirt is pulled up at the middle- he’s holding it up by his teeth, letting you get an eyeful of his muscled torso, flexed taut. Show-off. Your eyes travel down his treasure trail to where he’s squeezing his length through his pants. He’s so hard already that you can see the full outline of it.
“Oh shit,” You whisper, digging your nails into your leg thoughtlessly.
Dante (3:08 a.m.): haha
Dante (3:08 a.m.): earth to Y/N
Dante (3:09 a.m.): gonna leave me hanging now that ive shown you the goods?
Me (3:10 a.m.): Goods? You’re being stingy.
You roll onto your back and slide your hand into your panties, fingers immediately diving to rub your clit. You gasp, knees twitching- damn, you’re already sensitive. You line up your camera, take a shot at the way your hand disappears under your waistband.
Me (3:12 a.m.): I thought you said you would help me out?
Dante (3:13 a.m.): sgow yoy mine if you show mr yourx
Me (3:13 a.m.): Lol you okay there?
Dante (3:14 a.m.): typing with one hand is hadr
You giggle, slide your panties down a couple of inches and take another picture.
Me (3:15 a.m.): <Image Sent>
Me (3:15 a.m.): Show me yours?
Dante (3:16 a.m.): god damn
Dante (3:16 a.m.): just you wait until i get home
Dante (3:17 a.m.): <Image Received>
You click the image and as it downloads, notifications of Dante’s messages keep popping up.
Dante (3:17 a.m.): sit on my face and im gonna have a feast
Dante (3:17 a.m.): bedroom, office, wherever
Dante’s picture opens and your face burns. Show you his indeed. It’s a shot from his point of view. His shirt is still rolled up but now his pants are open and he’s got his hand wrapped around his cock, on full display and shameless. You rub your palm against yourself and buck into it, moan bubbling up your chest. You slip your fingers in, working yourself slowly.
Me (3:18 a.m.): dante, more
Dante (3:19 a.m.): then im really gonna make up for lost time
Dante (3:20 a.m.): you just tell me how you want it
Dante (3:20 a.m.): and we see how many times i can make you come in one night
You bury your face in your pillow, squirming down against your hand. God, why didn’t you think about texting him like this before? Would’ve helped with plenty of lonely nights.
You try to type out a response but your hand trembles and you drop your phone, and to hell with it- you press the CALL button. He picks up on the first ring, and you tuck the phone against your shoulder as you try to rub your clit in time with your thrusts.
“B-” He starts, before you rudely cut him off with a moan. Then he’s laughing a little into his side of the phone, voice husky. “That doing it for you, babe?”
“K-keep talking!” You squeak, legs twitching with how close you are.
“Wish I could be there to see you come,” He pants into the reciever, “You always get so desperate, clawing me up like crazy and fucking yourself on my cock. It’s amazing.”
“Dante..!”
“I’ve been thinking about it every night since I got h-here…” He growls a little and you can tell he’s on the brink too. His voice drops down a lower tone. “C'mon, let me hear you come.”
You tumble over with a gasp and the phone slides off your shoulder onto the bed as you curl up, moaning Dante’s name over and over as you squeeze around your fingers.
It feels like it takes hours before you’re steady enough to grab your phone.
“Dante…?” You pant.
“Hey babe,” He chuckles, sounding just as winded as you. “Glad to hear you’re back.”
“S-sorry, I uh. Dropped the phone.”
“Did you? You were so loud I didn’t notice.”
“Dante!” You squeak, face heating up again. You can just hear the smirk in his voice.
“I’ll be back in a few days, call you before I’m heading out.” He hums a little. “Maybe you can give me a replay in person.”
#dd extra spicy#dante x reader#anon#request#also I never know when I should be uploading spicy shit?#should i leave it until way later at night?
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KCON NY 2019 Recap
Wow I was actually in New York for four days and four nights. When I first saw the fromis_9 KCON NY announcement I knew there was no way I wasn't going to go. It looks like they made some great memories in NY/LA and I wanted a part of the fun too. Plus I wanted to avoid some of the regret I had last year in that I didn't go to KCON LA 2018. I already got super invested in them through June/July but I don't think I was emotionally ready/mature enough to go on a solo trip like this by myself.
Friday, July 5th
So to start out my trip, my flight to Newark was delayed for four hours. At least at the airport, I met the most beautiful family and got to play with their kids for a couple hours. The kids went boy girl boy where the youngest boy was causing trouble (literally me since I’m the third child), and the girl had no concept of stranger danger so she told me a wide assortment of TMIs about her family. The lady sitting next to me (Annie!) on the flight was also the sweetest soul imaginable, so we chatted for a couple hours before both watching Crazy Rich Asians (I admittedly cried at the ending).
I arrived after 9pm (no chance for early check-in or Klub KCON though I didn't want to dance with 16 year olds anyways), and I get anxious af when I'm in a foreign place without knowing exactly where I'm going, so I mass googled/kept asking for strangers for help to get to Manhattan. After I got settled into my hotel, Maya met me outside we went to Times Square! I'm so glad she came out and saw me that night because 1) I haven't seen her since summer of maybe 2016? so I missed her a ton 2) I literally had no idea how the NY subway worked before she told me 3) I wanted to go Times Square at night and 4) I wouldn't have wanted to go alone. We caught up on literally everything and I went to bed pretty late considering I wanted to check-in early to sell my A1 artist engagement pack.
and our “first date” pose because we were standing so damn far from each other:
Saturday, July 6th
I got up at 6am EDT (so 3am PDT aka rip), and rushed over to the Javits Convention Center to get in line. I brought like literally nothing because I was afraid you couldn't bring food in or they'd throw away my hydroflask. As it turns it, the staff didn't care at all, and there was hardly any line. After checking in, I got my A1 artist engagement pack ($150) which had an AB6IX high touch, a TXT audience pass, and an SF9 audience pass.
I almost panicked because I didn't know how popular AB6IX was, and if I had gotten ATEEZ/TXT I literally would have made at least a $100 net profit. I sat in line with some new people before I summoned enough courage to go into the artist engagement mob. Almost immediately, a girl ran up to me and asked me if I wanted to sell my hi-touch. I wanted to gauge the "market price" a bit more because I was still early af, but since I was still kinda panicking, I sold it to her for $100 and her SF9 audience pass. I looked around and that's when I figured out all the girls were trying to trade their hi-touches for the groups they wanted and all the guys were trying to buy their IZ ONE/(G)-IDLE hi-touches (the only two girl groups doing an artist engagement since Everglow couldn't attend and fromis_9 wasn't doing one). For the eight groups there, I'm pretty sure the market price went something alone the lines of
ATEEZ >>>>>>>> TXT = IZ ONE >> (G)-IDLE = The Boyz >>> SF9 = AB6IX >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> VeriVery
where the ">" shows the relative difference between each group. I thought TXT would be up with ATEEZ but I was clearly wrong. That's why I was pretty happy to get the AB6IX hi-touch off my hands. VeriVery hi-touches were being sold for $20 and people were throwing away their audience passes. I heard someone bought an ATEEZ hi-touch for $550 lmao.
I sold my AB6IX hi-touch, sat back in line with my new friends, and traded my TXT audience pass for an ATEEZ audience pass based on my sense of how popular each group was. I made another lap around the mob and a girl bought my ATEEZ audience pass almost instantly for $40. I made another lap maybe ten minutes later and sold one of my SF9 audience passes for $30 (I'm pretty sure I ripped her off on this one really hard but oh well). I couldn't find a buyer for my other SF9 audience pass so I decided to hold onto it until tomorrow since that's when their artist engagement would be. At this point, I was already +$20 in profit and I still had an audience pass leftover.
All the trading chaos settled at around 8:45am, but the convention didn't start until 11am. I just talked with some 16/17 year olds that were ridiculously into ATEEZ and other boy groups (surprisingly not NUEST or Seventeen).
I was one of the first into the convention and I made a full lap to scout around before picking something to do. The Toyota booth snatched me first and when I told them I was legit gonna get a 2020 Camry they were !!! and made me play their game. You had to search the Corolla for four QR codes, and take selfies with the filter that's prompted after scanning it in 90 seconds. The iPad they gave me glitched the fuck out so I only got three done. They gave me a "The Boyz Meet and Greet" pass which would allow me to go to the front of the line when they made a "surprise visit" at the Toyota booth. I was being a nice guy and told some The Boyz fan about it nearby, so the girl did it, succeeded, and won a fucking IZ ONE hi-touch >.> (people were selling that for $150 minimum...) so yes I'm salty as hell.
At the official merchandise line, if you bought more than $100 of stuff, they'd give you a special merchandise voucher. If you took that voucher to the KCON Star Square, played the game they had every hour and won, you'd get a chance to meet a "surprise artist". There were some official fromis_9 slogan towels for sale for $25, but I decided not to buy it right then and there in case they wanted one big purchase totaling $100. But my dumbass was wrong and the slogan towels sold out 30 minutes later and to this day I still don't have one (they're beautiful). I was also too slow to pre-order it when I bought my convention pass because they closed the presale.
I did some social media sellout booths, wrote some fromis_9 support on the "message to your idols" board, and realized there was nothing to do after that.
I just stood at the Toyota booth where they'd play an entire song and anyone that knew the dance would go up and do it (note they played the ENTIRE song and not just the chorus so for songs that weren't super popular, the stage was empty for a solid two minutes each time). I was only there for maybe 20 minutes, but they played Love Bomb and to my surprise, 4 Walls (which I haven't heard in ages).
I walked around aimlessly for another hour before I realized I hadn't eaten anything for the whole day. I got some really overpriced convention food and sat with some girls I met in line because I was pretty lonely at that point. They were from Chicago and were also there just for ATEEZ. We talked for a bit before they went to line up at MSG for the concert, so I walked around aimlessly for another 45 minutes before I went to one of the panels.
The panel was "The difference between American and KPOP" and Andreas Oberg (wrote Young and Free by Xiumin and Mark, one of my favorite station tracks) and David Amber (wrote Love Bomb, Heart Shaker, Yes or Yes, and Love Bug) were there! The third guy on the panel was pretty annoying, but I'm super interested in how these guys come up with these songs and they shed a ton of insight about it.
They talked about how most successful kpop songs now are actually a combination of multiple melodies put together, which supposedly make the song more interesting. For their particular styles, they try not to repeat the melody between choruses because that would bore the listener and try to have super catchy parts of the song or even the chorus start the track. Something else I found out which was super interesting is how they tailored certain songs for certain companies and groups. Andreas said SM gave him a ton of freedom, but when JYP asked for a song from David, he needed to make the verses long enough for each member to sing (aka Twice needs more lines since there are nine members) and add in rapping parts if the group had a rapper. They had a Q&A section at the end where two people kinda pissed me off since they went up to the mic and made shameless plugs saying how much they adored Andreas/David and were aspiring song writers like them. I actually summoned the courage myself and asked the panel a few questions:
Do you have a good sense of whether a song you wrote will become super popular?
How do you feel about songs that you are very proud of writing that don't become popular, maybe because it was given to a group that isn't that popular?
Do you think composers deserve more credit for making groups popular? The example I used is Blackpink is SUPER popular but their entire soud is almost exclusively produced by Teddy, which almost no one knows about.
I thought they gave me really insightful responses too:
A little bit, but once the song is produced, it's in the hands of the company to promote it with the artist and the choreography.
They're sometimes really sad about songs they create that don't make it big, and Andreas told me he was very fond of Young & Free
David said it's fine the way it is now. The example he used is with movies where the actors/actresses will get all the credit + make the movie famous, but a huge part of the production of the movie is because of the director, who rarely gets any attention.
I walked around aimlessly for another thirty minutes before standing at the KCON Dance Studio to watch the random play dance. I always saw the youtube videos of them so I wanted to see it in person myself. It turns out there was a cluster fuck of people there and we kept getting pushed back so far I couldn't see anything. Two guys in line next to me had Fun Factory albums and fromis_9 posters, so I decided to strike up a conversation with them. It turns out they were also huge flovers AND buddies, so we ditched the random play dance and talked for half an hour about our overall love for kpop. They were also New York locals, and they said they would take me under their wing for the rest of the weekend T_T. We met up with one of the guy's aunts and head to ktown since it was within walking distance, the convention closed at 6, and they wanted something to eat before the concert started at 8.
I took the 순두부 짬뽕 I ordered back to my hotel and ate it while watching the live stream since I only bought a Sunday ticket. On the way back, I also stopped by a store called Koryo Bookstore which sold kpop stuff. I couldn't find any GFriend/fromis_9 stuff I wanted, so I bought a Harry potter book in Korean to practice before going back. The concert livestream was okay, and it felt even shorter because IZ ONE got an extra stage, which I presume was supposed to fill in for Everglow. I lost my shit when NUEST performed Love Paint and Look though because those songs changed my life summer 2016 (they almost made me wish I went). I was still kinda disappointed in them because they had a ton of fans, but they gave off the vibe they only came to NY just to do the concert and leave. I tried sleeping early but as I crawled into bed, I got a fromis_9 vlive notification and I kinda had to watch it in case they spoiled the activities of tomorrow. I saw on twitter they actually arrived on SATURDAY and just toured New York, so obviously there was no way they could be at Saturday's convention. I spammed in chat if they'd have a pinky promise event for maybe 15 minutes but they never saw the comment. I didn't hear any spoilers so I just went to bed tired af since I got like no sleep in the past two days.
Sunday, July 7th
I woke up pretty late on Sunday and bought an expensive ass fancy bagel before getting to the convention center, though I could hardly eat it since I have literally zero appetite when I’m in a foreign place.
I bought the official fromis_9 jersey to match my two buddies just so everyone would know we were flovers at first sight. I also finally took out my Saerom sign and carried it around the convention center. We watched the Sunday opening ceremony and met up with a third guy (a Wiz One) while we waited for the fromis_9 fanclub meeting at 1:30.
I also found a lady willing to buy my SF9 audience pass for $15, which is ridiculous because I saw people giving it away for free at this point.
The fanclub meeting was really interesting. I instantly locked eyes with a girl that had a Saerom sign and we took a few pictures.
We played bingo with a lot of the squares consisting of fromis_9 memes, and two kahoot games where we had to guess which member it was (the pictures were ridiculous) and name the song after only hearing 1 second of it. At the very end, we did the Love Bomb and Fun! fanchants, but it was nearly impossible doing them without already knowing them if you could read romanized hanguel fast enough. I still screamed my heart out though (seriously).
There was nothing interesting left on the schedule, so we walked around before deciding to go to the (G)-IDLE fanclub meeting as well. I missed most of it because I met up with the girl that printed the banners, but there was a really entertaining random play dance at the end. On the way to get the banners, I met the girl that had the Saerom sign during the fromis_9 fan meeting, so we chatted a bit and exchanged numbers (she was here just for fromis_9 and she came from SWEDEN, so I thought we could bond over that). We closed out the day by going to the "2019 Year of Girl Groups" panel.
The panel was really boring, one of the members kept swearing, and they just talked about which girl groups they thought were the most influential in the kpop scene. Personally, I thought the SNSD/f(x) answers were meaningful since Gee shook the world and f(x)'s weird sound + Amber broke down a lot of stereotypes at the time, but some of the Twice answers in the group were a huge stretch. Two fans kept talking about how much Twice meant to them and while that's great and all, I think the rest of the audience felt the same way as I did. At the end, they forgot to give away their prizes, so they basically asked us to walk up and convince the audience why we should get the prize. I walked up and told them I was disappointed I came all the way from California just to see fromis_9 but still didn’t get the chance to. That won me this:
It was like 5:30pm after the panel ended, so we (five of us total) went to ktown to get chicken and hype ourselves up for the concert. They were playing Chung Ha and so many other not as popular girl groups (Weki Meki, Gugudan, Cherry Bullet) that we ended up talking about that for the entire time.
We all split up after we got to Madison Square Garden (I had P1, the group of three had P2, one guy had P3) and had maybe five minutes before the concert started because we showed up so late.
We were all super sad that they started with fromis_9 instead of one of the other boy groups, but I fanchanted and danced my heart out during all the songs.
The people in my section were huge mood killers though. I was sitting in the Chase preferred section, so I feel like the people in that section either a) had their parents use their credit card to buy their tickets or b) got the tickets handed out at some event and weren't even invested in kpop. The two girls to my life were there for seventeen and got on their feet at the end, but the two girls to the right of me sat down and were on their phones for the whole concert.
I got so lucky during the concert. VeriVery covered 24K magic, AB6IX covered Attention, and SF9 covered Love Shot, all songs which I know and love. And a word about Seventeen's stage. I was clearly at KCON for fromis_9, but I also LOVE Seventeen. I didn't pay much attention to their most recent comeback home though since it was a much slower song. However, EVERY SEVENTEEN SONG THEY PERFORMED I ACTUALLY KNEW. They started with 숨이차 which I knew but was indifferent to, but then we got Good To Me, Adore U, AND 아주 Nice. The stadium was freaking shaking during 아주 Nice and when they came back for the surprise encore I think the entire crowd and I died.
I met up with my friends after outside the venue, but three of them had to leave because they had work the next day (locals). I was ready to go back to my hotel content with the concert but disappointed overall, but Sweden girl texted me and told me to meet up with all the other flovers we were with. I met the moderators of the fan club meeting and like ten people that were huge fans and traveled as far as I did here for fromis_9. None of us were tired so we went to ktown to hang out. We talked for two hours over girl groups, fromis_9, guessing each other's biases, and learning our own backstories + age. Like where were these people during the actual convention. Apparently they all knew each other, but because I don't have a twitter, instagram, or am on discord, I was the reason I couldn't be found. I invited Sweden girl to do touristy crap with me on Monday/Tuesday because our flights on Tuesday were at like the same time, but one of the guys there tipped us off for the fromis_9 flash mob happening tomorrow at Washington Square Park at 2:30pm. I personally didn't give a shit about touristy stuff and I only felt obligated to do it because I was in New York, but I clearly only came this far for kpop. We decided to meet up for lunch at like 11am and we all went our separate ways.
Monday, July 8th
We all met up at Chipotle and sat around talking about more kpop stuff.
It was raining surprisingly hard in the morning, so we were all praying the event didn't get canceled. We walked over to Washington Square Park at 1pm and camped out there full of anxiety. I’ll type up what happened at the flash mob in a different post, but in summary, it was the best day of our lives. A ton of flovers had flights to catch, so Sweden girl and got milk tea and just held our hands crying over the event we saw. We rewatched the videos like 15 times (not kidding), took the subway to the Statue of Liberty, took the subway BACK to Washington Square Park because we missed some closure pictures, and then went to Central Park to take more pictures, all while lugging around my silly Saerom sign.
Our heads were in the clouds the entire day so we just sat on a rock and watched the sunset. She met up with a friend from Michigan while I got Halal guys and went back to my hotel room super emotional over the days events.
My dumbass put too much of the red sauce in it which was spicy as HELL so I couldn’t even eat much of it.
Tuesday, July 9th
I woke up late because I wanted to stretch out the best day of my life (yesterday) for as long as possible, and Sweden girl convinced me to go to the airport to say bye to fromis_9 before our flight. I was late as hell, but I booked my ass over to JFK and got to see (G)-IDLE and IZ ONE at the airport (I have videos, not pictures). At the end of the day, fromis_9 wasn't even leaving New York that day so apparently the twitter source was wrong. I wasn't too disappointed though given Monday's events, so I said my good-byes to my partner-in-crime from the weekend and booked my ass to Newark (I was almost late for my flight because New York rush hour, will never underestimate again).
---
All in all, I give KCON a solid 3/10, but my overall trip was a 12.4/10 because of what happened at Washington Square Park. KCON has much better, ethical ways to suck the money dry out of the fans that are willing to pay. They announce the artist engagement schedule AFTER selling the packs, which baited so many Nuest and Seventeen fans. The layout of the convention was absolutely fucking awful too. They put the Toyota booth dance stage, the KCON stage, the cover stage, and the KCON dance stage fairly close to each other so the music was playing over each other, and the other half of the room had empty booths full of cosmetic products and studying in Korea which has an appeal to like 10% of the people there. They also checked our wristbands when moving between rooms in the convention center, which makes no sense since we needed our wristband to enter the Javits Convention Center period. And in general, there was nothing to do "long term" so so many people were walking around bored like me. The lines for the stuff that could actually be done were ridiculously long (maybe 25-30 minute waits for the free food but that's long enough to miss an entire panel/engagement). The cherry on the cake is they announced the KCON LA lineup today without any teasers (no consistency?) and almost every single artist that went to KCON NY is going to KCON LA. I personally trust KCON LA a bit more to not fuck up everything as bad as KCON NY, but it still feels pretty unethical considering how many of us flew ridiculous distances to NY just for the same line up.
I'm not the biggest fan of New York either. The city is super crowded, smells awful, and I don't feel safe on the streets at all (and I'm a guy). One redeeming quality is that the people that I met were unbelievably nice. I probably asked for directions eight times and every time, I got the most helpful/friendly response. An old white man even saw how I confused I looked an approached me asking exactly how he could help me get to where I wanted to go.
At least now, I think I have the confidence to plan my own solo trip to a faraway place. This was a fun one.
I hope we answered your promise Saerom!
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Now it's my turn🙈💚 1, 2, 8, 11, 13, 15, 20, 21, 24, 27, 30, 37, 42, 56, 57 and 59 sorry that this is late🙈💙
ayyyyyyy my guy! ❤️
1) selfie
ditto so I’ll dm you em! x
2) what would you name your future kids?:
so i’ve always liked the name layla because i really admire the beauty of a night sky but then it literally means sheep in aapni zerbaan so ye lol; i think the name marina is pretty too like the whole nature element, i liked marwa as well till my sister said it sounds like ‘marijuana’ which just ruined it for me totally lol; yusuf is a nice one, you know because of his whole story which i just find really moving and im sure i had some more prophet names which i really like but none of em spring to mind at the mo
8) have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?
yesssss so the other day i was dress rehearsing for an interview (pray i get the job! x) and none of my smart-wear would fit so i just angry cried it out; i have bipolar as well and before i was on the right meds i’d do that daily but now i seem to be doing a lot better alhamdulilah
11) are you listening to music right now?
astaghfirullah sister skskskk but naa i stopped listening to music about a year ago i feel like it just dragged me down might just be me but like even the uplifting stuff has melancholic vibes to it
13) how do you feel right now?
so like i think i missed my meds this morning and at round 7pm i got this really intense agitation where my mood randomly switched within the space of like an hour and i got angry that i was angry but now that im home and talking to you i feel a lot better - I was really on one earlier on in the day when we were messaging tho bc i was like ‘OMG IVE FOUND A NEW FRENNNNN’ which is a huge positive for me!
15) personality description
aaaaaaa i could go on forever, hope you enjoy the cv! so im a really perceptive person - i have a strong insight into my own situations and mindset as well as those of others (a positive side to mental illness i think, like the whole self awareness aspect) i’ve been told im ‘compelling’ which is an incredible personality trait to have! i have a mad sense of humour, talkative, very outgoing, very extroverted and i love a good bit of banter with the right people, love meeting new people and hearing their perspectives too. I’m very intellectual, i love discussions and acquiring knowledge and anything which makes you think or reevaluate your current opinions! but ya im really proud of my identity purely bc i genuinely didnt think i’d make it past 16 (suicidal depression, self harm, mad mania, abuse, overdoses, etc) but like alhamdulilah here i am and i think its my perseverance and my relationship w god which i really admire - im really proud of who i’ve become! (but i mean theyre trying to stamp a personaity disorder diagnosis onto me so i guess i could be chatting bubbles and all this could be totally subjective *x files theme toon plays*)
20) what is your favourite song at the moment?
i mean i hear the odd bop over the radio every now n then n the ‘JUST BC ITS OVER DOESNT MEAN ITS REALLY OVER N IF I THINK IT OVER MAYBE YOU’LL BE COMING OVER AGAINNNN’ song just really seems to get me
21) age and birthday?
ahh see i feel like an old granny ting now compared to you! i’m 20 and my birthdays the 5th of april so i guess we’re both april babies!
24) height
5′2 but i dont look as short as i sound i swear lol
27) things i hate
im no longer a hateful person like even the people i hate i pray for but bidah has got to be #1 without a single doubt, aside from that its all the usual stuff such as bigots, nonces, etc
30) favourite tv shows
mostly stuff on netflix like at the moment im watching ‘sacred games’ and ive never been into the whole bollywood vibe but i swear ive been missing out like! peaky blinders is amazing and tommy is beautiful i dont care if hes my dads age, bedlam was incredible, period dramas like victoria n bbcs les mis are really good, you should check out this is england, shameless, dark and NSU: german history they are mint; i love a good documentary as well
37) favourite actor/actress
angelina jolie i think! like i have an entire hashtag dedicated to her so ya i guess shes the one!
42) favourite books
kite runner and a thousand splendid suns (defo recommend them both yasmin esp tss - if you ever do read it give us a shout and ill send you the coursework i did for it in Alevel!)
56) favourite food
ben and jerries along with cookie dough are my absolute weaknesses but im inshlla cutting down on sugar so we’ll see if anything changes w those ones!
57) favourite animals
cats for sure! mines called marno shes now 5 alhamdulilah and she is my life n soul - i like dogs but they get over excited way to easily which startles me a bit esp as im v spaced out a lot of the time so a dog tryna hug me is like arghh wyd but i mean i admire their intentions lol that n the fact theyre najis is also bit of a problem for me (whups)
59) why i joined tumblr
so i think i came across tumblr on a random google search n i figured it’d be a good form of self expression n a good emotional outlet esp as i was in a v v bad mind-space at the time so i felt i needed something to call my own which eventually became my lil blog - but ye if you go allllllll the way back to my old reblogs its literally just those black and white depression posts and gifs which is actually really upsetting to me; like although im no longer in that place anymore tumblr continues to be a very good therapeutic outlet so im v grateful for that ❤️
and thats all! thanks for reading this far b and feel free to ask me any other questions, i enjoy answering them! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
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NYALitFest | Northern Literary Festival in Preston
This post will be about my time at NYALit Fest back in March. I was very excited to attend as book events are always a good excuse to see great friends and meet fab authors.
I was even more excited about this as it was 2 days before my cast came off so it was my last outing struggling with only 1 hand. Now, this post is a little late but alas reminiscing about good days is a great way to pass the time.
If you haven’t had the chance to attend either of the events I really would recommend trying the next one. I love the fact its in the North so it was much easier for me to attend and it was a free event too!
BOOKS & MERCH
Even though there was a rather large amount of authors attending, most were authors I’d seen before or contemporary writers so my pile was rather managable.
I was also thrilled to hear that Dawn Kurtagich was attending to help with one of the stalls there! I reached out to her to make sure it was okay to bring my copies of her books along too and she was more than happy to sign them.
a song of sorrow | the dead house | a girl called shameless | and the trees crept in | the priory of the orange tree
Whilst there I also accidentally picked up a few books…
Honestly though it could’ve been much worse but I made sure to do my best to keep to my rule of “only buy bookish merch to support your friends” and even did my best to not spend too long at other stalls there.
However, I did end up with a few books and I’m very excited to read them. I only bought 1 book too, which was the hardback copy of The Dead House from Dawn, of course I wasn’t going to say no. (Also, when I got to the stall she was at she came around and gave me a hug so my day was pretty much made)
frostblood [book swap] |the creeper man | music and malice in hurricane town | we are blood and thunder | the kingdom | the harm tree | the dead house
As I mentioned I did pick up some merch too! It was really tough what to pick because both Jenn @ Literary Galaxy and Fiona @ Felfira Moon Designs have such awesome designs and work.
But I did end up buying a lovely amethyst necklace from Jenn, a lil bookish pin from Penguin, and 3 bookish stickers & 3 Studio Ghibli inspired pins from Fiona! I love these all so much and have already made use of the stickers in my bujo.
PANELS
NYALit Fest had a variety of panels throughout the day but I only attended 3 of them, I found this worked well for me as it allowed some down time to chill with friends and have lunch. Its important when you go to these events to also make time for your friends!
The first, and the one I was most excited for, was the Feminist Fantasy Panel with Melinda Salisbury, Samantha Shannon, Laure Eve, and Rose Edwards. Hearing this dream team talk all things feminst was amazing and I felt so full with love for these authors.
I had a bit a of wait till the Shame-Less panel with Katherine Webber, Laura Steven, and Tamsin Winter. This was another very inspiring panel to hear them talk about how shame is handled in books and why we need to be shaming people less. Laura also shared a story from her time in high school which struck a cord with me.
Lastly as I was staying to get a book signed for a friend I also sat in the Mental Health panel, which I was a little late for as I got side-tracked talking books with Dawn. Lisa Williamson, Alice Broadway, Akemi Dawn Bowman, and Alexandra Sheppard were wonderful to listen too. Their exploration of mental health in their books and also lives were discussed and I think everyone felt touched.
SIGNINGS
I loved getting books signed and the fact Laura instantly came and gave me a hug. Day actually made tbh! Also, Alice Broadway remembered me from YALC two years ago?! Wild, still shook.
I do really need to remember to make an effort to get selfies with authors from the side I prefer or I just end up hating half of them like I do here.
As with most authors I’ve met everyone was such a love and I’m so blessed to have met these wonderful women.
As I’ve already mentioned I had such a great time with my pals and love every opportunity I get to get to know these gals even better.
Lastly, NYA did a great time at putting on such a wonderful event with no fuss. I don’t recall hearing any complaints or concerns; there was room for people to chill when they weren’t at the panels + whilst some of the queues were a lil messy we all figured it out calmly.
As they had more timely posts cause I’m a mess, make sure to check out Fiona, Sarah & Sophie, Lois, Beth, and Bec’s posts.
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#NYALitFest 2019 | A lil wrap up @NYALitFest @LiteraryGalaxy @MidnightTopaz NYALitFest | Northern Literary Festival in Preston This post will be about my time at NYALit Fest back in March.
#Author: Akemi Dawn Bowman#Author: Alexandra Sheppard#Author: Alice Broadway#Author: Dawn Kurtagich#Author: Katherine Webber#Author: Laura Steven#Author: Laure Eve#Author: Lisa Williamson#Author: Melinda Salisbury#Author: Rose Edwards#Author: Samantha Shannon#Author: Tamsin Winter#Blogger Event#Book Haul#Book Merch#Bookending Winter#Books#Felfira Moon Designs#Literary Galaxy#NYALitFest
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The Simself Challenge? Is that what this is called? I have no idea. . .
The challenge is basically to make a simself then answer a fuck ton of question so here we are. Thanks @willowbomb and @sim-borg for tagging me. I’ll tag: whoever wants to do this because idk who hasn't done this yet
1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Taylor
2. WHAT IS YOUR NICKNAME? My childhood nickname was Tot. My friends call me d*ke and slut though so hey
3. BIRTHDAY? July 23, 2001
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK SERIES? Series definitely The Mortal Instruments or the Infernal Artifacts by Cassandra Clare
5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS OR GHOSTS? Both i think, definitely aliens. I don't fuck with ghosts and all that because I don't want to die
6. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE AUTHOR? Right now my favs are Adam Silvera and Becky Albertalli
7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RADIO STATION? Where I live we have five stations, one that plays music from the 30’s all the time, three country, and one that says it plays pop but ends up playing country anyways. So, none.
8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF ANYTHING? Idk man, thats a loaded question. Probably vanilla
9. WHAT WORD WOULD YOU USE OFTEN TO DESCRIBE SOMETHING GREAT OR WONDERFUL? ??? lit�� idk dude I was trying to think of something that's weird but I can't think of anything
10. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONG? Be My Mistake by The 1975 or Not Warriors by Waterparks
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD? Serious answer, lunacy (there's a reason its my username) not as serious, I just heard someone outside yell for the chillin’s and I started laughing because that word is great
12. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? I’m currently listening to From Eden by Hozier
13. WHAT TV SHOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND FOR EVERYBODY TO WATCH? Shameless, Glee, Shadowhunters, Grey’s. I could go on.
14. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE TO WATCH WHEN YOU’RE FEELING DOWN?Love, Simon, Call Me By Your Name, or The Perks of Being a Wallflower
15. DO YOU PLAY VIDEO GAMES? Obviously
16. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR? Spiders and needles
17. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? nothing
18. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY, IN YOUR OPINION? Everything, in seriousness, my selfishness or narcissism,
19. DO YOU LIKE CATS OR DOGS BETTER? Cats are my favorites but dogs are cool
20. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? fall
21. ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? Never have been
22. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU MISS FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD? NOT AS MUCH STRESS
23. WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND? Irl- my friend EJ. Online- @hallowiamshebsims
24. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR? Green
25. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? brown
26. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE? Read 23
27. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU TRUST? Read 23
28. WHO IS SOMEONE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? Read 23
29. ARE YOU CURRENTLY EXCITED ABOUT/FOR SOMETHING? I don't remember the last time I was excited for something
30. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST OBSESSION? Writing I think
31. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW AS A CHILD? Hannah Montana, Ned Declassified, Drake and Josh, Flapjack, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Chowder, Rugrats. I'm a true early Gen Z kid
32. WHO OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER CAN YOU TELL ANYTHING TO, IF ANYONE? My girl best friend, I dont tell him everything because i'm a secretive bitch
33. ARE YOU SUPERSTITIOUS? Nah
34. DO YOU HAVE ANY UNUSUAL PHOBIAS? Read 16
35. DO YOU PREFER TO BE IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA OR BEHIND IT? Both
36. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY? Writing, reading, creating imaginary worlds to live in
37. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? I am almost done with History Is All You Left me by Adam Silvera and oh boy that book
38. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Paranorman: “You’re gonna love my boyfriend, he’s like a total chick flick nut.”
39. WHAT MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? N/A
40. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL? Cats
41. WHAT ARE YOUR TOP 5 FAVORITE TUMBLR BLOGS THAT YOU FOLLOW? @hallowiamshebsims @simmerberlin @willowbomb @pollinationqueen @gunthermnch
42. WHAT SUPERPOWER DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? The ability to always have the money to pay for things
43. WHEN AND WHERE DO YOU FEEL MOST AT PEACE? My room probably
44. WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE? People falling down, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJq4jWSQNd
45. WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY, IF ANY? That’s cute
46. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DRINK? Coffee
47. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A HAND-WRITTEN LETTER OR NOTE TO SOMEBODY? I have two teachers that are really weird about phones and talking in class so we pass notes instead
48. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? Nah
49. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? LOUD EATERS
50. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CONCERT? I went to a christian concert when I was like 5 so there's that
51. ARE YOU VEGAN/VEGETARIAN? Nope, I live in the south how do you expect me to not eat meat
52. WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP? Teacher since I live in the south and that's the only jobs beside retail or waitress in my town
53. WHAT FICTIONAL WORLD WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN? The Shadow World, but I wanna be a warlock, not a dumb shadowhunter lol
54. WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU WORRY ABOUT? Everything
55. ARE YOU SCARED OF THE DARK? I’m afraid of what's in the dark, which is a hard ass way to say yes
56. DO YOU LIKE TO SING? All the time but im tone deaf so its bad
57. HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED SCHOOL? If I was sick, yeah. Other than that, I did twice. Once because I had a really bad panic attack right before the bus got to my house and I called my mom claiming I was really sick, and once a few weeks ago because my dog got sprayed by a skunk therefore making me smell like a skunk
58. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE ON THE PLANET? uhhhhhhh
59. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE? New York City, LA, San Francisco, Toronto, Portland, London. Any big city to be honest
60. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? A dog and three cats
61. ARE YOU MORE OF AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL? Both. I sometimes stay up super late and sometimes i'm up really early. And if I can actually force myself out of bed I can get a lot done in either of those times
62. DO YOU LIKE SUNRISES OR SUNSETS BETTER? Sunrises
63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE? Yeah but im gay so its not good driving l
64. DO YOU PREFER EARBUDS OR HEADPHONES? Everything that wont break in a week
65. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? Nah
66. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC? I don't really have a favorite, I listen to all kinds of stuff
67. WHO IS YOUR HERO? Uhhhhh, Deadpool, or Spiderman
68. DO YOU READ COMIC BOOKS? Nope
69. WHAT MAKES YOU THE MOST ANGRY? It takes a lot to make me angry but when im angry it's bad and I forget what i do when i was angry so i don't really know
70. DO YOU PREFER TO READ ON AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE OR WITH A REAL BOOK? Real
71. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? English and Creative Writing
72. DO YOU HAVE ANY SIBLINGS? Younger sister, younger step brother
73. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? A starbucks coffee last night
74. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5’7 or something
75. CAN YOU COOK? Depends on what i'm cooking
76. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE? Books, music, friends
77. WHAT ARE THREE THINGS THAT YOU HATE? Racists, homophobes, sexists- so basically most the people in my town (hell what am i kidding, this side of the Mason-Dixon line)
78. DO YOU HAVE MORE FEMALE FRIENDS OR MORE MALE FRIENDS? One of each
79. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION? I am on the ace spectrum and I am panromantic
80. WHERE DO YOU CURRENTLY LIVE? ‘Merica the brave
81. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TEXTED? Sheb
82. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Like, yesterday
83. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE YOUTUBER? CallMeKevin RTGame The Shane Dawson squad
84. DO YOU LIKE TO TAKE SELFIES? sometimes
85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE APP?I guess this hell site
86. WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARENT(S) LIKE?My mom and I are kinda close, i don't really talk to my dad much (even though I live with him half the week)
87. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOREIGN ACCENT? Aussie, British, Scottish, Irish… all of them
88. WHAT IS A PLACE THAT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO, BUT YOU WANT TO VISIT? Everywhere that’s not my state and the ones touching it
89. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 23
90. CAN YOU JUGGLE? notta
91. ARE YOU RELIGIOUS? Yes, but not crazy religious. I just believe in fate and that there is some type of higher power
92. DO YOU FIND OUTER SPACE OF THE DEEP OCEAN TO BE MORE INTERESTING? Nasa bitch
93. DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE A DAREDEVIL? I have an issue with adrenaline. As in, although i am an anxious person with too much adrenaline anyways I like to do things that give me a rush of adrenaline
94. ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING? I can't have my eyes pierced because I'm allergic to metal in the sense of having it in my body
95. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? Yep
96. CAN YOU WIGGLE YOUR EARS? Nope
97. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING? Next question
98. DO YOU PREFER THE FOREST OR THE BEACH? I mean netiehr, but i'm not a huge fan of sand
99. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF ADVICE THAT ANYONE HAS EVER GIVEN YOU? You’ve made it through your worst day before, you can do it again
100. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR? I think so
101. WHAT IS YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSE? Sytherlin, not surprise
102. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF? I’m talking to myself right now
103. ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT? Introvert
104. DO YOU KEEP A JOURNAL/DIARY? Nah, my writing is kind alike my diary
105. DO YOU BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES? I give people too many chances
106. IF YOU FOUND A WALLET FULL OF MONEY ON THE GROUND, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Check the ID, maybe take the money and leave it in a bush or something. I don’t know
107. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF CHANGE? For sure
108. ARE YOU TICKLISH? Please don’t tickle me
109. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A PLANE? Nope
110. DO YOU HAVE ANY PIERCINGS? Read question 94
111. WHAT FICTIONAL CHARACTER DO YOU WISH WAS REAL? Alec Lightwood or Magnus Bane, but young Alec because I can't be friends with 27 year old Alec
112. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS? Scared of needles, remember?
113. WHAT IS THE BEST DECISION THAT YOU’VE MADE IN YOUR LIFE SO FAR? Doing things for me
114. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? YES
115. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES OR CONTACTS? Both
116. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN? Not really but if my future partner wants some i’d be open to talk about it
117. WHO IS THE SMARTEST PERSON YOU KNOW? My ex-best friend. I used to hate how she never had to try to get good grades or be good at things, she just was
118. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING MEMORY? All my memories are embarrassing if you look close enough
119. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER? At least twice a month
120. WHAT COLOR ARE MOST OF YOU CLOTHES? Nutruels and black
121. DO YOU LIKE ADVENTURES? Sure
122. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON TV? I think I wa son the news once
123. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 17
124. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE? I have a lot, “Words have the power to change us.” “perhaps it is because of time that we suffer.” “I remain a work in progress until I die.” “The thing you are most afraid to write, write that.” I could go on
125. DO YOU PREFER SWEET OR SAVORY FOODS? Sweet
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get to know me tag
i got tagged by the super rad @icecreamistheelixroflife, thanks dude!!
rules: answer the questions and tag 10 followers you want to get to know better
(putting it under the cut though bc it’s long)
first name: ash
last name: i don’t really wanna give that out so i’ll give you my middle name lmao it’s beth
age: 23
hair color: currently it’s like half my natural color (brown) and half....teal? i guess?? idk man it was purple, then blue, then green, then i tried to strip the color but it didn’t work so now i’m trying to grow it out and it’s a mess pls save me
favorite fruit: pineapple is my shit tbh
favorite season: summer bc i’m a ho and all i own are crop tops plus it’s my birthday season
favorite animal: sharks!! my fave is the cookie cutter shark they’re rad af
favorite fictional character: iwaizumi hajime is my best boy i deadass have a tattoo of his name
favorite tv show: haikyuu!! oh man idk how many times i’ve binged it lol i quit counting after rewatch #6
favorite color: black bc i’m going through my emo phase
dog or cat person: both ofc
star sign: gemini
height: 5′2″ (157cm)
put your playlist on shuffle and list the first 4 songs:
4419 // stray kids
record me // kim dong han
down and out // the griswolds
quit // lany
grab the nearest book next to you and turn to page 23. what is line 17? i’m not at home right now so the only book near me is an empty notebook i’m gonna use to work on fanfic after i finish this post tbh
ever had a song or poem written about you? not that i know of, no.
when was the last time you played air guitar? you know what i don’t think i’ve ever played air guitar...but fun fact whenever i feel awkward my panic response is to do the robot so i did that a few hours ago
what’s a sound you hate? one you love? oh god i hate the sound of people chewing...i love asmr (i listen to it every night to fall asleep) but i will never understand why people enjoy listening to someone eat in high definition like i really can’t handle it. but i love the sound of skates on ice, especially the sound of landing a jump or stopping in hockey skates. actually i love any hockey sounds tbh i’m a huge hockey fan
do you believe in ghosts? obviously, yes. i’m like 99% sure i’ve seen a ghost actually
do you believe in aliens? hell yeah and i’m ready to be abducted
do you drive? if so, have you crashed? yes and yes rip
do you like the smell of gasoline? god no
what’s the last movie you’ve seen? uhm honestly i don’t even remember, i think it was ocean’s eleven?? i barely ever watch movies ngl
what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? ok major trigger warning here but like five years ago my self harming was the worst it’s ever been and literally every inch of my body from the chin down was covered in cuts, burns, bruises, etc so that was rough to get over lmao
do you have any obsessions right now? i mean have you seen my blog? i’ve also been obsessed with shameless though wow i missed that show anD SPOILER ALERT BUT I’M SO HAPPY MY BOY MICKEY IS BACK
do you tend to hold grudges? nope. getting too personal here again bc that’s my Brand but i have borderline personality disorder so i’ll get super pissed about something then ten minutes later i’m over it and it’s like it never happened
in a relationship? nah
tumblr crush: this blog is super new so i don’t think i really have one yet just bc i haven’t been following any of these blogs very long...but if i had to pick it’s probably @kkyuun just bc they’re super sweet and their gif edits are amazing
dream trip: ireland!! also after i finish school i wanna teach english in either japan or korea so i guess that counts as well?
post your most recent selfie: well i already did for selca day so here it is i guess
ok i tag @mildlystressedout, @cosmicjooheon, @jyp-stray-kids, @twinrejects, @kimkkibum, @montothebebee, @monstaxamirite, @emotiadouche, @jaebumagase, @monbeslay, and @p-a-r-a-d-o-xx!! feel free to ignore this if you’ve already done it or just don’t want to lmao love y’all x
#i can't believe i got tagged wow thanks jess#also i don't know like any of my followers so really @ anybody who wants to do this u can say i tagged you
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11/11/11 Tag Game
Tagged by @dimitrisoneeye! Thank you so much for it! <3 I’m ready for some of that sweet, sweet procrastination:
1. What was the inspiration behind your current WIP?
Since I’m a scatter-brainted mess, I have several WIPs on the go at once (at varying stages of progress, obviously...)
Wanderlust was conceived at the very beginning of my forever-friendship with @pens-swords-stuff and @autofoebia as self-indulgent play-by-post roleplaying, but eventually became a serious writing project;
Morsmordre (also w/ @pens-swords-stuff) was meant to be shameless fluff, but ended up inspired by some ‘bad end’ Harry Potter headcanons and becoming fanfiction in its own right;
For Queen and Country is sort-of drabbly, sort-of disconnected shorts and more of a universe than a single story, inspired by BBC’s Being Human –– I use it as an excuse to stretch my comedy (and angsty) chops while writing for supernatural creatures and referencing British culture/politics...
Those are the main ones for now!
2. When you write, do you tend to write chapter by chapter or scene by scene? Neither?
I’m definitely a scene-by-scene person in my personal writing. Sometimes I just get the urge to write x, y, z, even if I’m not actually at that point in a continuous story. Sometimes that’s all I can write.
In collaborative works, I'm a chapter-by-chapter person, just by necessity.
3. Do you prefer sprawling casts of characters or small groups?
Big ensemble casts! Sometimes drawing in characters from other personal projects just to make cameos. I’m a firm believer in the more characters, the better (at least for those I’m currently writing for).
4. Do you listen to anything in the background while you write (i.e. music, movies, podcasts, OSTs, ambiance, nothing)? Why or why not?
Sometimes I listen to character playlists (which I will post at some point separately!), but that’s more to get me in the mood of the character or scene. I will often listen to The Last of Us OST when making an effort to sit down and write for a whole hour, as it’s 55 minutes on youtube, or the Murray Gold’s Doctor Who soundtracks (only the ones for Seasons 1 & 2, 3 and 4, though.)
5. Who is your favorite OC to write?
I like writing them all for different reasons. I think I find Caerwyn the most fun to write overall, but Alistair’s banter (in letter-writing form) is also fun, and Casimir’s prophetic dreams/Tarot readings are exciting to design.
6. Your OC shows up at your doorstep. What is the first thing you do?
Apologise for their suffering, and offer them some tea. Oh, and take a selfie.
7. What is the first thing your OC does in the above situation?
Drink tea, I presume. Most of them are British (with the exception of the Wanderlust cast).
8. What is your favorite opening to a book/story?
Since there’s a bunch of different openings that have left a mark on me, here’s a couple:
Books - Slaughterhouse 5, Jane Eyre
Video Games - Mass Effect 2, The Last of Us
TV Shows - True Detective
9. Favorite soundtrack? Can be to anything—movie, TV show, videogame, etc.
Doctor Who (2005) Season 3 OST from Murray Gold. It’s some good shit!
10. You get to take over writing a book series/TV show/game series you love. What series is it?
This is the Twilight Renaissance, so––
No, I don’t think I will. Maybe Mass Effect. I don’t really think I’m good enough to rewrite anything I love (though someone should definitely take HP away from J.K. Rowling, the sooner the better...)
11. What led you to become a writer?
I don’t know, actually! I remember loving writing stories in Primary School, and when I started playing video games, I used to write Sims 2 stories using the in-game tool and upload them to the exchange. Eventually that sort of developed into a love of writing, and being a writer––not just creating.
And now for eleven more questions:
1. What character archetypes do your OCs fit into, if any?
2. Other than their main universe, what other universes (of your own creation or found in media) would you like to see your characters in?
3. What is the best plot twist you’ve ever read/seen/played?
4. Have you/would you ever kill your darling characters? Why?
5. What is your favourite obscure word in the English language (or whatever language(s) you write in)?
6. What song’s on the soundtrack for the major motion picture based on your WIP?
7. How did you come up with the title for your WIP?
8. What time of day do you prefer to write at?
9. Have you ever scrapped a big plot point you had planned? If so, what was it, and why?
10. How do you pick your character names?
11. Who on writeblr would you like to get to know better? (Tag ‘em, mayhaps.)
Finally, tagging 11 people:
@pens-swords-stuff, @autofoebia, @confunderewrites, @altheathewriter, @kit-tells-a-story, @writersloth, @silas-fenderson, @unwriter-sc, @littlelcnterns, @reining-in-the-fire-writing, @gelfs
its 4am and this was fun <3
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ok, OTP questions all of them. Or one through ten. Or one through five. You know what, I don't care. Gimme, I'm desperate.
Whelp, we’ll see how many of these I can get through! XD
1: Who spends almost all their money on the other?
-Ivar. Totally Ivar. He’s the one who has never needed to stick to a budget, and he loves spoiling Gwen with all the nice things she could never afford growing up.
2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap?
-Ivar wants Gwen to sit in his lap more, but she gets worried about hurting his legs. More often, it’s Ivar who ends up falling asleep with his head in her lap while she runs her hand through his hair.
3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes?
-Pfft. Ivar, obviously. The second he comes home the shirt comes off. Gwen doesn’t mind so much, but she needs to get stuff done, dammit! She can’t keep getting distracted by the... arms... and... the other muscles... and...
4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway?
-It’s pretty equal. Though Ivar’s the one who’s more likely to actually be out all night. He loves to go to punk concerts or to play with his band, but Gwen doesn’t like the noise and crowds. Sometimes she’ll come pick him up, but a lot of times she just waits for him to come home.
It probably doesn’t help that he always gets very... erm... energetic... after all the adrenaline. Then he comes home with his full punk-regalia on, his makeup all smudged and his hair messy and... yeah...
5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies?
-Gwen. She’s a competent cook, and can make a decent meal, but she has to have a recipe she can follow or else things can get out of hand. Ivar is just proud of her for trying to go out of her comfort zone, even though she can’t cook a steak to save her life.
6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”?
-Ivar doesn’t know what an OTP prompt even is, and teases Gwen horribly for reading fanfiction.
Ivar: *Gleefully* This is straight-up porn, Ging!
Gwen: GIVE THAT BACK THIS MINUTE!
Ivar: Metal arms? Really? Is that your thing, babe? Blue eyes and a bit broken?
Gwen: I’M NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN!
7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes?
-Gwen totally wears Ivar’s shirts.
It’s unlikely anything but Gwen’s most over-sized ugly sweaters would fit Ivar.
Not that he’s ever tried or anything... but there was that one pair of pants that would have gone SO well with his jacket...
8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?”
-Again, probably equal. Gwen does a lot of the shopping early on, just because-again-Ivar had no clue how to shop frugally. But later on she ends up working at Kattegat U as a research scientist/teacher, and he has Heathen Hotrods so he can stay home with the kids, he ends up running a lot of the errands.
9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions?
-Depends. They both like to drive. There are some cars Ivar prefers to drive, but he categorically refuses to drive Gwen’s Subaru Mom-mobile, so it’s a toss-up. It also depends of in one is more tired, or if Ivar’s legs are hurting more than usual.
10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws?
-Gwen is the only one who draws, but she doesn’t do people. Ivar does like to take pictures, though, and has quite the collection *wink wink nudge nudge*.
11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips?
-Ivar is the backflipper, while Gwen would be following behind, shouting at him to be more careful and STOP doing that he’s going to hurt himself!
12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking?
-Oddly enough, Gwen is probably more likely to overdo it. She doesn’t know her own limits the way Ivar does. He’s good at keeping an eye on her and letting her have fun, but making sure she drinks water and stops before she makes herself really sick.
13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts?
-They’re both the sort to get little things just because it makes them think of the other. Ivar probably a little bit more, just because he’s more financially spontaneous.
14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own?
-Gwen hyphenates when they get married. Ivar proudly introduces them as Dr. and Mr. Wessex-Lothbrok. It gets to the point where he sometimes forgets he didn’t actually change his name. XD
15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside?
-Neither of them are super bothered by spiders. Unless it’s a really big one and it shows up in the shower, then both of them are likely to shriek and cry for help.
16: Which one gives the other their jacket?
-Gwen probably spends more time wearing Ivar’s jackets than he does. She doesn’t even have to indicate that she’s cold, he just has this sort of sixth sense and immediately swoops in like some leather-clad savior.
17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling?
-I think this is pretty obvious, considering it’s already happened. lol. It’s a long time before Ivar and Aethelred actually start to get along, and even longer before they can really be considered ‘friends’.
18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other?
-Let’s see. Ivar pretty much jumped in head first, but Gwen was the first to say “I love you”. It’s easy for him to be affectionate, but hard for him to talk seriously about his feelings. Whereas Gwen grew up in a family that was much more open about that sort of thing.
19: How good would your OTP be at parenting?
-They both have their strengths and weaknesses. Gwen has less experience with kids, and is pretty uncomfortable with them when she first meets Ivar’s huge family. He’s the one who is the most gung-ho about having kids, but isn’t actually all that into kids that aren’t his own.
With their kids, Ivar is really good at handling the not-so-serious stuff, the tantrums over silly things that Gwen has a hard time being patient with. But it’s really hard for him if one of his kids is really hurt, whereas Gwen is very good at remaining calm during crises.
20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters?
-They’re both grammar Nazis, and mock Alfred for using numbers and other text shorthand.
21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them?
-They will both come in, guns blazing, if someone tries to hurt the other. They even aggressively defend each other against themselves. Self-deprecation is met with physical assaults with deadly plushies.
22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun?
-Ivar makes ALL the bad puns, and is SO happy when he’s finally able to legitimately use dad humor. Gwen pretends to cringe, but she actually thinks he’s really funny.
23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy?
-Gwen has come home to find a new animal many times. Many, many times. Once it was a daschaund puppy that had lost all it’s fur (Napoleon), another time it was a mini horse in their shed. Ivar argues that he tried to say ‘no’, but the kids insisted.
Ivar: No guys, we aren’t adopting the horse.
Judah (a.k.a Ivar Jr.): *Slapping his little four-year-old hand down emphatically* Daddy! He needs a famiwy!
Alyssa (a.k.a Gwen Jr): *Two and already running the world with an iron pout* Pony! Pony!
24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired?
-Ivar: Are you tired? Wanna ride on my back?
Gwen: No.
Ivar: Giiing! C’moooon!
Gwen: No! Your legs are already going to be hurting from all this walking!
Ivar: Ging, get over her and let me carry you!
Gwen: No, you can’t make me!
*Continues, ad infinitum.*
25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering?
-Ivar is more likely to play a sport, but really, he’s the shameless fanboy. Gwen’s maybe tried to leave him at home once or twice when she’s getting an award of some kind, because he makes that bad of a ruckus.
26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder?
-Ivar. He just can’t get enough of his cutie-patootie. Gwen protests that her drooling isn’t cute, and if he doesn’t delete that right now, so help her...
27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked?
-Also Ivar. The few times Gwen’s gone with him to a show, she lets him give her a full punk makeover. Just in general he likes to pick out her clothes. He may know the contents of her closet slightly better than she does.
28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of?
-Neither of them is really afraid of the other’s pet, but Gwen is deeply suspicious of Napoleon on occasion. She’s sure he’s not as innocent as he looks, especially considering the number of times he’s conned Ivar into letting him sleep in their bed.
29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains?
-Ivar has a strong streak of chivalry, hammered into him since birth by Aslaug. She taught him how to behave in high society, and there’s certain things that he still does on instinct.
30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures?
-They’re both homebodies to a certain extent, so they wouldn’t be constantly travelling, but they’d still like to visit other countries. Especially Ivar, who loves history. They probably take a couple trips every year. Gwen plans out the itinerary and makes Ivar stick to it despite his tendency to wander off. They like to see historical sites and go to museums. Probably a good mix of exciting stuff like amusement parks, and just chilling in a nice hotel somewhere scenic.
Ivar, of course, brings two or three cameras along and uses all of them.
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20 Questions Tag Game - Writers Edition
Thank you to @lizeboredom and @tmarie82 for the tag!
Respond to the following writing questions and tag me in your response! I look forward to hearing your answers as I’ve always been curious about these!
1) When/what age did start writing?
I started writing stories when I was 6 years old. I’m one of those freaks who has always known what they want to do for a career.
2) What inspired you to start?
I’ve always been obsessed with books and stories. Plus, as an only child, I had a lot of time to myself and a very active imagination.
3) Where and when does inspiration usually strike you?
Usually when I don’t have access to a pen, like when I’m taking a shower or lying in bed. At least when I’m in bed, I can text notes to myself for the next day.
4) Where and when do you usually write? Morning? Late at night? On the bus? In bed?
Whenever I can, but I’m most creative in the middle of the night. I’ve written multiple books at 2am (and then my kid wakes me up at 5am 😂)
5) Do you listen to music while writing? If so, what genre/playlist?
It really depends on the day. Sometimes I need silence, but usually I like to listen to music, especially if I’m trying to set a specific mood for a scene. I actually wrote a post about this on my blog (SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT!) which you can click here to read.
6) Which category do you like best? Angst? Fluff? NSFW? Other?
NSFW for sure. I often refer to myself as a professional smut peddler 😂
7) Which category do you find most challenging to write?
Fluff is actually the hardest for me to write. NSFW is easier for me because there’s a clear end goal for the participants in a scene, whereas fluff you have to get the characters to just connect emotionally. Physical connection is obvious; emotional connection is more subtle.
8) If you had to pick your favorite Choices book, which one would it be and why?
Alright, if I have to choose which foot I love more, I’m going to say It Lives in the Woods. I read it way after everyone else did so I binged the whole thing and I was completely addicted. Then again, I’ve always loved a good supernatural mystery (I was a sucker for Goosebumps books as a kid).
9) If your Choices LIs were real, which one (and only one) would you personally want to be with?
Zig Ortega. I think that’s pretty evident from my fics, haha 😂
10) Do you share any physical characteristics with your Choices MCs? Pics/Selfies optional 😊
I think the closest resemblance is to the white MC from The Freshman et al. I’ve got huge eyes (a friend in high school used to call me Dobby).
11) Which MC do you share the most personality traits with?
Probably the MC I created for my Writer’s Retreat series, Charlotte (The Freshman et al. AU). She’s a hot mess and I relate to that on a deep, spiritual level 😂
12) Which Choices character do you feel you have the best grasp of in terms of personality?
Hmmm . . . maybe Chris Powell from The Freshman et al. He reminds me a lot of a guy I used to know so I’ve been able to draw a lot from my real life experience to understand his character.
13) What’s your favorite Choices pairing to write for?
Probably Zig and my MC from The Freshman et all, Lydia who I featured in my Wanderlust series and several one shots. I’ve also really enjoyed writing Kenna and Diavolos, I love their dynamic.
14) What is a pairing(s) you hope to start writing for?
Thomas Hunt x MC. I have plans for him in my Boxer AU series (I swear I haven’t abandoned that series!) but I feel like I’m still getting a sense of his personality and character.
15) What do you hope to improve in your writing?
Everything! But more specifically, I want to improve my attention to detail. I feel like stories are made or broken in the attention to detail, so I want to make sure I’m always conscious of that and continually improving.
16) Any pet peeves related to writing?
Writer’s block is the bane of my existence. Of course, that’s usually a sign that I need to step away from a story and go for a walk.
17) Are you inspired by any IRL experiences when you write? Care to share?
Constantly. I think all writers draw from their real life experiences, especially when it comes to creating characters. Most original characters are amalgams of people I’ve known.
18) Is there any particular piece of work you consider to be your ultimate writing goal? Something so amazing you hope one day you’ll be up to that standard?
I’m incredibly inspired by so many writers, but I wouldn’t say any one of their works is my ultimate writing goals. I’d rather aspire to be the best version of me as a writer instead of trying to duplicate someone else.
That being said, here are a few of my favorite books that I re-read constantly:
Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann
The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling
Hearts in Atlantis by Stephen King
Coraline by Neil Gaiman
Sloppy Firsts by Megan McCaffrey (and the rest of the books in the Jessica Darling series)
Summer Sisters by Judy Blume
Wifey by Judy Blume
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
19) Did/do you write for any other fandoms? If so which ones?
I wrote a one shot for Star Wars (SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT) which you can click here to read. I also have some Avengers and Harry Potter fanfics that are in progress.
20) In your spare time (when you’re not writing) what other hobbies do you pursue?
Writing is both my hobby and my career, which means I’m pretty much always writing 😂 But I love to read and I’m a big film buff. I also love great TV shows; basically anything with great storytelling, I’m all about it!
I think most people have been tagged, but here are a few just in case: @kennaxval, @mrswalkerwrites, @i-dream-so-i-write
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Update: My Trip to China
Hi, all, it’s been an insane couple of months! Where have I been and why haven’t I been updating? Well, I’ve finally moved in a completely new place all by myself with a new job and lots of pleasant isolation in a tiny town by the sea. Right before that, my family took me overseas to China for a final family trip. I only got food poisoning twice. Oh, and I caught a cold. -v-
LONG POST UNDER THE CUT!!
Things I noticed that generally happen in China:
1) There are a lot of couples! Compared to Japan and Taiwan, I noticed the people here are more open about traveling and showing affection (and discourse) publicly. Where are the lonesome ones? Well, my brother deduced that because Chinese has so many people, the single people stay at home. TvT
2) Women like to cling onto arms or hold hands with their friends or lovers. My Shanghainese housemate was like this, too. I guess it’s a cultural thing.
3) Men tend to smoke, not women. You find women smoking sometimes, but it’s usually associated with being dirty and shameless. The men tend to cough and spit a lot. Everyone openly coughs and sneezes. There are no common words for “Excuse me” and “Bless you/Salud/Gesundheit/etc” in the Chinese language. It feels rude, but that’s how they are.
4) The subways are hi-tech. The navigation is better than Japan and Taiwan. The maps are friendly and easy to read for Chinese and English-literate people. Similar to an airport, however, you have to pass your bags and luggages through a scanning system and have your liquid containers examined before security allows you to board trains. The rides are cleaner.
5) In modern areas, everyone is very well-dressed. They have a fashion style evolved to incorporating modern and slightly retro looks. Unlike Taiwan and Japan, you don’t see people wearing traditional clothing unless it’s for shows or homely occasions.
6) There are cameras everywhere. It’s like London crosses the Patriot Act. Cameras on the highways, cameras on the streets, cameras in the subways. They use facial recognition and license plate recognition. A price of freedom to pay, but because of this system, we were able to track down one of our luggages that we left in a taxi cab. (Haha.) Security checked where my parents got off onto the subway, found the license plate of the taxi cab, and phoned the taxi driver to tell him to meet my parents at XX station to drop off their luggage.
7) They, uh, don’t like Japanese things in China. There are very few Japanese cars, buildings, and brands, going as far as vandalizing Japanese chain stores and boycotting products despite being safer and better. You can say it’s attributed to history and culture. Chinese people view self-humiliation in a different light. They can be quite envious.
8) Infrastructure is king. Not being political; from an objective outlook, the US spends a hefty amount of tax money on military. China invests in infrastructure. There are a lot of building projects going into apartments, museums, preserving historical sites, and parks and recreation. It’s at the point where national parks are completely paved and tiled. (Kinda defeats the purpose of national parks, but at least you don’t have to worry about muddy shoes.)
9) Local vendors that don’t belong to companies or corporations may sometimes be unsanitary, but the food quality is generally cheaper and tastier. Otherwise, if it wasn’t tasty, how would they sell?
10) Hype isn’t always a good thing. Just about every restaurant we’ve gone to where it was packed with people was just okay. Quiet hole-in-the-walls have a personable charm, quicker service, and equally if not better food. Real talk, the original ma po tofu shop serves tofu that is extremely spicy and bitter. Not worth it.
11) Public facilities like museums and libraries are taken quite seriously. The government believes when things are free, people are more civilized. Go figure, yet in my experiences, people were. Not sure about the museums since there’s a lot of Chinese history and culture to go through, anyway, but the public libraries are utilized to the fullest. You need identification to get inside, and every then, you’re only allowed to bring certain material into the library after going through a baggage and metal scan. There are lockers for your things. It was school time next to a university when I visited, so every seat was occupied with a busy Chinese scholar with a stack of books reviewing notes and practicing words or formulas. It was pretty surreal. I didn’t take pictures, but I’ll let you know there were very few fictional books where I visited.
12) Chinese people don’t listen to signs or tourist warning information. Seriously, as someone who’s part Chinese, myself, the tourists can be extremely disrespectful, and it’s super embarrassing. It’s usually the older generation because...well, if you know your history, you might know why they’re like this. But if it says no cellphones and pictures, you’ll find cellphones and pictures. Lower your sound? Someone’s yelling on their phone about the most trivial thing like what they ate for dinner. Stay on the path? Let me just hop this fence and proceed to head towards this dangerous slippery waterfall to take a mediocre selfie. Yeah, it wasn’t a great time. Someone like Germany would blow their brains out.
13) BRING YOUR OWN TOILET PAPER
I cannot stress enough how precious soft butt paper is. The kind they sell in China are sandpaper scrolls on your tender cheeks. Bring your own tp from home if you are to survive the plight of the outdoor public restroom. And soap or sanitizer. There is normally running water in bathrooms, but no soap! What’s the point if the bacteria is going to spread through the water?! Be prepared for squatting, turds, smells, and wet rims. Unless you stake out in your western hotel all day, you WILL find a squat toilet, and there is a high chance it WILL smell or be mysteriously slippery.
Anyway, here are some pictures I lazily took. The descriptions are all on the top of the photos.
We went to Shanghai first. The people are meh at best. But the architecture is interesting because of the heavy western influences. (Missing obligatory picture of The Bund because I exported it somewhere else.)
Beef noodle soup! My favorite! I like it with a little spiciness. They made the noddles with a knee paddle. Only $2 USD!
I’m not sure how to explain it correctly, nor do I know what the exact name of the method used to make the noodles is. I tried to explain it in the crude drawing I made below.
.
..
...
This is KFC.
The majority of the trip was spent in Chengdu in Sichuan Province. It’s hot and humid in the summer, but it was just right when we went.
There are a lot of open markets. Look at all the meat and produce! They even had morel mushrooms. Too bad we didn’t have a stove or butter in our hotel.
We visited Kuanzhai Street, a historical alley consisting of wide and narrow paths with historical buildings. Its initial intent is to let tourists experience some of the old culture of China, but nowadays, there are a bunch of vendors who try to capitalize on how many people go there. It gets very crowded.
A most mysterious wall of memes.
Not bad.
Sugar-blown rooster! It tastes like those rainbow lollipops you sometimes see at fairs or candy shops. You get to blow up the sugar, yourself. An interactive show. :)
Burnt sugar rooster! It tastes like the top of a creme brûlée.
Went on a tour to a panda rehabilitation center. Chengdu is a popular spot for earthquakes, and the one in 2017 left pandas injured and traumatized. This place helps them recuperate until they’re well enough to go back to the public zoos. Outside to greet us was a 5-some of panda statues. The one that stood out was the one on the far right with one leg. I thought he was just leaning his leg behind him, but it turns out, his leg is missing! Affirmative action?
(Missing black and white panda because my good captures were all videos.) The red panda tails are so fluffy and gravity-defying. The tails are like a foot long and stay straight in the air.
A Tibetan-like feast! You eat with your hands, and they give you gloves. Everything was fresh and tasty. They served us yak milk. It tastes like if you mix 1 part milk, 2 parts water, so it’s not bad if you don’t mind the watery taste. Over here, your wealth is measured by the number of white yaks you own.
I’m missing pictures, but there was a good number of performances with singing, dancing, and conga lines at our table. My dad got really into it. Because some Chinese cultures are normally reserved, they weren’t used to his disco dancing. Later, they called him Uncle Buddha. And they said he looked high.
Jiuzhaigou. It was closed since the 2008 earthquake due to high levels of mountain and road collapses. It opened recently, so the locals were surprised to hear that it was open again. You can even take pictures wearing local minority Chinese garb. I think it was around $3 USD, but we needed to haul butt.
WATCH THE PICKLE!! We stayed at a decent hotel, but a popular breakfast dish in China is porridge with various kinds of pickled vegetables. I figured I needed vegetables to help me “go” easier during our travels, so I ate a little of everything. So did my dad. My brother and surprisingly my mom, who eats more veggies than anyone in our family, skipped out. Two hours of a bus ride later, I threw up on the street. My dad threw up minutes after I did. We’re pretty sure the old used for the spicy pickle was stale.
Eh, what can you do?
A clear limestone lake. Surprisingly not many people here. It was also very quiet and clean.
We went to Leshan to see the giant Buddha. It’s not too bad of a walk, maybe because it’s at sea level. (Two days prior, Jiuzhaigou was at 7000ft/2100m, so it was really hard to hike without getting tired.) This thing is HUGE. You might be able to see tiny people in the upper right-hand corner for scale. Only take pictures on the Buddha’s right side!
By the way, there are a lot of little statues and tiny Buddha carvings littered on the hike up there. Per Chinese superstition, you are not supposed to take pictures of them. Some either house evil spirits that you can take home with you or you might trap good spirits from spreading fortune.
Very pretty architecture behind the statue. You can drink tea here for about $5, however, it’s a tourist trap! Don’t waste your money and time. See how these pictures don’t have tourists in them? It’s because they were all caught up drinking tea and sitting on their butts.
Aw, the picture rotated. Anyway, here’s a fly modern monk with Nike’s and a smartphone.
Kinda mad I can’t remember this place, but there were many elephant themes in this tourist town we visited. My brother (listed in the picture below with the ONLY pair of long pants and jacket he stupidly packed for the 12-day trip) found a mantou shop that sells these long buns for only 1 YUAN. That’s like $0.17 USD. As a bun advocate, he said they were tasty.
DPRAUNNDKA (Someone was drunk, alright.)
Hot pot! Taiwan was better, and the Guangdong guys were too afraid to try to spicy broth. (Like Hong Kong, haha. Because Cantonese people don’t like spicy food, according to Himaruya.) It was okay, but we only had 30 minutes to eat before catching a show. I don’t have pictures, but the sets and performances were really cool!
Gelatins! Sketchy at best but tasty-looking!
A pleasant view of the hike up Umeishan. Right past this chasm are monkeys! If I panned my phone down, you would’ve seen trash. This is from the monkeys eating tourists’ food. You have to watch your pockets and bags because they’ll go through them for kicks, usually not even for food. And don’t wear red because it intimidates them.
You can hire rickshaw(?) carriers to take you up the mountain. Great for elderly or lazy people. I think it’s about $32 per way.
Famous Emeishan statue thing. You are supposed to take pictures relevant to your zodiac sign, so there are twelve positions like a clock. It’s COLD up there. But the hike makes you warm! And there’s a cable cart that takes you up most of the way.
Zoomed-in luna month friend. It was behind a temple door. The wings looked so soft.
I forgot what this trail was called. The whole hike was about 7 km. Supposed to be 10, but it started to rain, so we skipped the end. Lots of tourists in places, but very nice scenery. Walk fast to avoid smokers. Why do they smoke while walking? :/
Beer Garden in Chengdu City. It’s a strip of bars and clubs where foreigners can sing American pop songs and drink beer. Lots of “trashy” women with rich drunk men. It’s an insane atmosphere with rich-looking people and every bar being full. Seriously. I’d show more pictures, but you really need a video to get an idea of the vibe. Here’s one of Goose Island, whatever that means. Next to it were two hedge sheep. Look at this shit, there’s a picture of the White House on the poster! Ahhh! XD
Chengdu Global Center Mall
Cheese and rice, I thought Tokyo’s AEON Laketown mall was huge. This place has a hotel and a water theme park built into it with a grocery store and food court in the basement. At this point, my family’s feet hurt from all the walking. -.-’
Boo. We came too late. All the boba was sold out. Hey, cat poop coffee on the top.
Just why?
Last full day in Chengdu. Here’s the outside of the museum. You have to wait in line to get screened before going in, however, it’s free.
An underground strip mall. Okay here me out, we tried very hard to look for bootleg Chinglish shirts, but we could NOT find any. The Chinese locals seemed to either snatch them up or we weren’t looking in the right places.
lol and that’s it. We went back to Shanghai for a full day after that, but I caught major food poisoning from something I ate. It was bad. My bowels felt all twisty and uncomfortable. So I spent the entire day in the hotel while my family had a blast eating food and looking at architecture. My brother found a slew of funny Chinglish menus. I wish I had the pictures. If I find them, I’ll pass them along.
Thanks for reading and I’ll try to update stuff when I get settled down in my new place. :3
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Fic Reading Asks
tagged by @space-carisi
1. What fandom(s) are you reading these days?
Spartacus & SVU
2. What fandom(s) have you given up?
1D. there’s a lot of good writers in that fandom, but I’m just not really interested anymore. other fandoms just fade with time/when there’s no new stuff (like BBM)
3. How much time do you spend reading fic per day? Per week?
lately several hours a day because I’m reading a really good nagron fic and every ‘chapter’ is like min 20k. I’m in heaven. but I wish there was more crixus/naevia fic because they’re the reason I got into the show.
4. When do you usually read fic?
first thing in the morning and then later at night unless it’s a weekend. then all bets are off!
5. Where do you usually read fic?
bed! used to read on the subway when I lived in NYC.
6. Where is the strangest place you’ve ever read fic?
I’m pretty shameless so I have no idea...haha
7. What kind of fic is your favourite?
I like happy ending fic. it’s the reason I even got into FF to begin with, because I wanted a happy ending for the characters. I also love anything with in depth world building & different time periods, AMNESIA FIC hurts so good, gotta love a classic HS fic, fake dating is always good...
8. Describe your perfect story. What fic would you love to read that you don’t think exists yet?
for SVU I wanna read a camaro HS fic & camaro band fic...but I’m going to write them so they will exist soon (I hope). for Spartacus I wish there was more crixus/naevia modern au or HS fic
9. What kind of fic do you avoid?
honestly I usually only read the ships I’m into, but every once in awhile a great writer can get me to read anything. I avoid things with lots of angst because I’m too Soft for that unless I KNOW they’ll get a happy ending.
10. What makes you nope out of a fic?
horrible formatting, really OOC characterizations, etc
11. Where do you get your fic? (FFN, AO3, tumblr, somewhere else?)
AO3, tumblr. used to be LJ back in the day! (amI dating myself...?)
12. What makes you recommend a fic to everyone you know?
when the world building is out of this world and/or when it gives me that little tug at my navel. I’ve had really good fic really make me F E E L things and I love that.
13. How late is the latest you’ve ever stayed up reading fic?
all night, probs.
14. Have you ever skipped doing something you were supposed to do because you were reading fic?
uhh...like housework...haha
15. How long is the longest fic you’ve ever read (chapters/words)?
no idea...the series I’m reading write now apparently has 400k in total. 16 long chapters and I’m on chapter 11.
16. How short is the shortest fic you’ve ever read (chapters/words)?
a couple hundred words
17. What do you think about drabbles?
cute
18. What do you think about sequels?
LOVE when they’re done right & thought out
19. Post a selfie of how you usually look while reading fic.
just go to the #it me tag
20. Post a reaction gif for the latest fic/chapter you’ve read.
Tagging: @amirightcounsellor @barbabangme @svu-stories @rafaelscarisi @giraffe-puppy @lilbabychilton @apotterlifeforme @paradise-svu @svucarisiaddict @sonnysdoll
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Random tag game
@timothythemultifandomedowl forgot to tag me but messaged me so I could do this anyway~ thank you for taking the time to do that btw! ^^
Rules: You don’t have to answer all of these. But you at least have to answer 10 of them. You can tag as many people as you want but please always try to tag someone to keep the game going.
1. How did you meet your newest friend
I met @immortalwinterdragon at uni! She commented on my BTS wristband at the end of a seminar on the first day and from then on we started talking. She already knew I liked K-pop bc I wore my Stray Kids shirt on the introduction day so at least we had a topic to talk about ^^
2. Name one person you call “b”
“B” is literally @wannamakesomemagic ‘s nickname. I tend to call her by a different nickname but here and there I might use this name.
3. Xbox or PlayStation
Playstation! Otherwise I wouldn’t be able to play Project Diva XD Also, I grew up without an Xbox
4. Name one of your anon’s codenames (Ex: BlueFlower Anon)
Corn time anonie
5. Which Kpop group do you bias the most
Atm it’s Stray Kids! Before them it was BTS, and before BTS it was EXO, so it changes, but for now I really, really love Stray Kids
6. Who is your ultimate kpop bias
Han Jisung! That boy is just so talented and funny and sweet it makes me want to cry :’)
7. Do you like to draw
Yes! I like it a lot! I don’t think I’m all that good at it but I feel like I’m improving so that’s nice ^^ also, if y’all wanna see some of my drawings @stray-stay-drawings is my art blog this is not shameless self promo what made you think that?
8. Do you like your name
I guess so? I have quite unique names and they’re quite nice, though I feel like they don’t match me all that well sometimes :/
9.) What’s your age
I’m 17 and in exactly a month I will turn 18 holy shit im gonna be an adult no im not ready
10. What do you identify as / what are your pronouns
I am genderfluid and my pronouns are she/her and they/them. Usually I don’t mind which ones are used.
11. What’s your sexuality
Ace ace baby~
12. What’s your current mood
Neutral with a huge sprinkle of exhaustion
13. Name 5 songs to go with your mood right now
SHINee - Our Page, TAEK - Everywhere, Bad People Are There, WILDES - Bare, Taylor Swift - Clean, Bolbbalgan4 - To My Youth
14. Do you like taking selfies
Generally speaking, no. I only feel confident enough in my looks for that once in a blue moon
15. How much money do you have to your name
16. What is a scent you really like
Burning wood. It reminds me of Sweden
17. Do you prefer crayons or colored pencils
Coloured pencils. I hate the greasy texture of crayons so freaking much
18. What’s your favorite color
My favourite colours atm are blue and light grey
19. Name three of your friend groups and who’s in them
20. Who is your bestest friend in the whole world
There are two people I feel comfortable with atm (they are @wastelandnoodle @immortalwinterdragon) and I would consider them my best friends. I’ve known Noodle for 6 years now so it’s comfortable with her. And despite knowing Dragon for only 2 weeks now I just feel at ease around her, knowing I can be myself. And they have the same first names. Coincidence? Perhaps. I just hope that we’ll stay friends for a long time.
I guess I’ll tag the people I tagged in the list for this XD but if you see this and want to fill it in as well go on ahead~
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9.16.2020 - Self advocacy
What does it mean to advocate for yourself? (1/3)
Nowadays self advocacy is everywhere. People are constantly promoting and supporting themselves. The ‘selfie’ itself is self advocacy. Everyone has an Instagram, has a Twitter. Back in the day they used to call what we now call “subscribe to my channel” as a shameless plug. Now it’s just called “me taking care of me”. Influencer is now a job. They are millionaires who are simply living and recording their living in an aesthetic or comedic way. This is their career. I, too, do this. I don't expect anyone who subscribes to me or follows me to actually like me just because they tapped a button. I don't particularly fit into the algorithm but I still do it like everyone else in the algorithm. Supporting yourself now, if you ask the internet, is simply making enough money so you can afford Wi-Fi. Then the sky's the limit. You can promote yourself, “broadcast yourself” as the original YouTube slogan used to say. Show you, advocate for you. As the safety video says on every plane ride we take: “in case of an emergency, you must secure your own oxygen mask before you can assist anyone else”. In any case you must look out for you, take care of you, support you before you can do that for anyone, or moreso expect anyone else to do that for you. Also, a self care day is nothing to feel selfish about.
Write about a time you stood up for yourself. (2/3)
I've had so many missed opportunities to stand up for myself. Not because I don't want to, not because it wasn't killing me not too, but because I'm an empath and I often feel, or is made to feel, like the person I'm standing up to just doesn't care to hear me so why waste my breath. I often times tell myself that I am being the bigger person, but I also think that person is probably thinking, “oh she doesn't have a rebuttal or she is too stupid to do anything about it”. I hate that. I hate that more than not standing up so at the times when I have, yes, I do sometimes regret it because I’m left feeling small or worst. But the times when I don't feel that way, I feel redeemed or like a weight is lifted off. I'm also a bit of a coward and I don't like confrontations so I avoid situations sometimes. I'm always sad nowadays so I kind of just let people walk all over me, or make them think they are. Truly because I know they really aren’t, ‘cause I never think about those people afterwards.
Rewrite a scene from a moment you wish you stood up for yourself. (3/3)
I've had moments when I stood up for myself and people have not cared and therefore didn't change their behavior regardless of my standing up. So whenever I have done it, it has seemed pointless. People are going to do what they want to do. I have had so many situations where I have stood up for myself, but because people only see your value based on what they feel when they look at you, and if they feel that you can't bring anything to the table, they don't feel the need to even listen to you. I don't want to rewrite a scene because it's not going to make me feel better. Reliving it or remembering it will just make me sad....der. I'm already sad. (During writing this I started crying.)
Check out this post of a time that really made me feel small.
-- she
#writing#s#writing prompts#writings#writing workshop#live performance#photography#nyc#new york city#moonlight#under the moon#self advocacy#racism#standing up#standing up for yourself#advocacy#advocate
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