#I know all humans to some degree crave consistency and stability but I think I'm SO far on that end of the spectrum where I

[icewindandboringhorror]

moode

#lov the obviously very quickly drawn in ms paint art style lol hbbjh #i just have so much i want to do!!!!!! #but also when I'm stressed out it's hard to focus on my long term goals #but then at the same time I also feel like I should especially do so #like 'work on your game now so you can get as much done when you can since you never know if something #will happen and you won't be able to work on it anymore' VS 'don't spend all your free time working on a long term project when the #long term isn't guaranteed and you should just rest and do small things here and there instead' #i know best is to probably do a little of both but that's such a balancing act and under times of stress it's like nothing #feels stable enough to carefully walk that line you just kind of swing to one or the other gghgjh #anyway...! #I'm just trying to do what I can I guess #I also have been kindof sick for a few days with very vague symptoms so my doctor of course doesn't want anyone to come in #unless they have a fever or literally can't breathe but I hate the uncertainty of that since there's no way to get an idea of what;s #wrong with me and thus no way to really know what to do about it if I don't know what it is either #I guess I just have to wait it out and hope the chest pain/pressure and etc. doesn't turn into anything eose #*worse #which I also don't like lol... #I know all humans to some degree crave consistency and stability but I think I'm SO far on that end of the spectrum where I #always want everything to be 100% clear and constant and stable and have absolute certainty of things (aka why I'm the #least spontaneous or risk taking type of person I've ever met lol) so I guess this stuff isjust really hard for my brain to handle #Like if I'm going somewhere minor like just to meet a friend for lunch I would plan it 4 days ahead of time and pick out my outfit 3 #days ahead of time etc. One time I was driving with someone and they said we'd go to store 1 first then store 2 on the way back but they #randomly switched it up and said we'd do store 2 first because it was actually closer and I cried just because abrupt changes of plans #/lack of certainty/etc. can stress me out so much ghghgjh.. Which I know is really silly and I personally don't like that but my brain #is just That Way for some reason. .. BUT anyway.. aaaaaaaaaaaaaa