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#I know it’s pathetic that I’m this desperate for her to just say something- anything- but I’m afraid that if we don’t talk
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#I tried to text my friend who i hadn’t spoken to since Wednesday#I texted her yesterday; and still nothing#I know it’s pathetic that I’m this desperate for her to just say something- anything- but I’m afraid that if we don’t talk#for awhile she’ll forget I even exist. because I don’t see her in school (I’m a virtual student this year) and we don’t hang out#so out of sight out of mind really#she hurts me so much but I desperately want our friendship to work out because I still care about her a lot#it just doesn’t feel like she cares about me anymore#I wish my weekly therapy appointment would come quicker#it’s every Thursday; right before my violin lesson#every week feels like a countdown until I have therapy again#I’m not thriving I’m barely surviving#I did talk a fair bit to my other friend though!!! which was really nice#we talked about acnl mostly; which was rad cause that’s the game I’m currently super into#life is still pretty lonely though; even though I did talk to my friend#my therapist said I should casually bring it up but I don’t want to be more annoying than I already am#I also wouldn’t want to accidentally make her feel guilty; because it’s not her fault and that would be unfair to her#I hope things get better; but with summer coming up all I can imagine is life getting worse#since I’ll have to get a summer job and what not#I already dread getting up each morning; I guess this summer I’ll be getting an amplifier on that#also; I’m going to be tagging my personal vents as pity party if you want to block my annoying shit#pity party#negative tw#negativity#negativity tw#vent in tags#vent in tags tw#vent#vent tw#ask to tag if i missed anything#and queue do you think you are
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marmolady · 21 days ago
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There Was This Girl
Main Pairings: Estela x (f)MC
Summary: Rourke Ending. Estela Montoya is a loner. She keeps herself to herself. But there's just something about the girl in her Chemistry class....
Word Count: 3738
Chronology: This the first part of my Rourke ending series.
Tagging: @saivilo, @edgydepressedchoicesthot, @sceptilemasterr, @greengroove @mauvecatfic
There was this girl. Blonde… electric blue eyes. Not all that tall, not all that short. Just another average blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl in your average American college. The girl… Taylor she’d said she was called, looked to Estela to be just an ordinary anyone. Which was why she bothered Estela so. The way that girl played upon her mind after bumping into her just the once; that was anything but ordinary. After that… well, Estela didn’t seem to be able to keep herself from bumping into Taylor. It was almost as if that girl, that average, ordinary girl, had been seeking her out.
Estela had made a point of keeping to herself in the days since beginning her studies as a freshman at Hartfeld University. Though she’d been raised by her uncle in San Trobida, away from the trappings of her lineage, she was certain that it wouldn’t be long before she was known here as the daughter of the Emperor and the Second Empress. It was a connection she’d long despised. That she and her uncle had spent the last however many years fighting against a dictatorship was laughably ironic when it was none other than a cruel dictator who’d sired her… who still kept a hold over her mother. Had it been down to Estela, she’d never have come to this place, but at her uncle’s insistence that she arm herself with the best education they could give her, she’d relented. Quite an achievement in persuasion on his part. It was not every day that Estela Montoya backed down.
There must have been a reason she was drawn to that girl, Taylor. Maybe it was the simple fact that people tended not to talk to Estela. She liked it that way, for so long as she was left alone, her identity never seemed to be an issue—despite her striking resemblance to the Second Empress. Other students would whisper—or rather, not bother to—behind her back, mulling upon the reasons for her enforced solitude, for the scarring that marked her serious face. Their speculations were frequently cruel in tone. Perhaps that was why the openly friendly way that Taylor had greeted her; no hesitation, no mistrust, had stuck with her.
“Hey-- you mind if I sit here? It’s kind of crowded everywhere else; I don’t think I can handle the noise right now.”
A frown darkened Estela’s face, born of suspicion that had been drilled into her since she was small, but she nodded. It was hard to resent Taylor a simple desire for peace and quiet-- the new food court was for the most part a headache waiting to happen.
Taylor sat down with an exhale-- relief?-- and began to eat. After a moment, she looked back up, meeting Estela’s eyes before they could pointedly dart away.
“Thanks,” she said quietly. “I… I get the impression you like to keep to yourself.”
Estela’s frown deepened. Maybe… maybe she did. She felt lonely sometimes, but solitude was now second nature; it was easy.
“Let’s just say it’s better that way. For me… for anyone who doesn’t want to wind up hurt.”
Taylor studied Estela’s face, and a couple of times opened her mouth as if to start talking, before reassessing and remaining quiet. Estela looked back, unblinking, mirroring the curiosity before her. She’d never much been drawn to blue eyes. Used to the cruel, icy gaze of her father, that coldness was anticipated. But Taylor’s weren’t like that. Not at all. They were bright, sparkling and warm like the sun on the sea. They were kind. And when Taylor’s smile reached them, they made something both alarming and pleasurable bubble up in Estela’s stomach. Then, Taylor finally managed to get her words out; shaky, unsure.
“Well, if you ever feel like… you know, some company, you should know that I enjoy being in yours. And I wouldn’t mind just… hanging out sometime.”
Estela averted her gaze, painfully aware of the heat blossoming upon her cheeks, spreading rapidly to her ears and the back of her neck. She could only hope that Taylor didn’t notice that fierce blush. Was she attracted to Taylor? Like, really attracted to her. Was that what this was? Intensely focused as she’d been on the family business in San Trobida, she’d never had the time for foolish crushes. Any such feelings had been trifling, fleeting. She might have looked at a person and thought the nice to look at, but it hadn’t been like this. There hadn’t been the butterflies. There hadn’t been the throb between her legs, nor the goose-bumps rising up her neck. Agonisingly uncomfortable, Estela took her food and strode off without a look back.
And then, that night, everything changed.
She was on a hillside, overlooking a sparkling sea. Smiling beside her… Taylor.
“I’ve seen a few sunsets,” Taylor said, but this is something else.”
It was. The colours upon the vast sea were sublime.
“My view is better,” said Estela. She stared into Taylor’s lovely face, taking every feature in.
Taylor blushed a little, and deflected. “I think you found your light too. We should take some pictures while we’re up here.”
For a moment, Estela said nothing, unable or unwilling to tear herself from simply basking in the glow of the beautiful person beside her. Oh, how her stomach fluttered.
“Something like this is hard to capture,” she said at last. “It’s more special if we have to remember it.”
“Yeah, I guess it’s ours alone that way.”
Together, they sat down in the cool grass, knees touching, and watched the shift of colours across the water and sky.
“I…,” said Estela, “used to avoid getting this close to people.”
“I remember,” Taylor said… somewhat sadly. “There was a time when it was hard to talk to you.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I was afraid of hurting you… of losing you and everyone else.”
“Believe me, I worry about it too. We’re gonna find the others though. We’re all in this together.”
Again, Estela fell quiet, thoughtful; then…, “Yes.”
It was getting too much. She had to be nearer to Taylor. She edged closer, reaching for her hand, and utterly powerless to look away from those gentle blue eyes….
Then Taylor moved in and was kissing her. So soft and tender. Estela closed her eyes, letting herself know nothing but for the feel of Taylor’s lips as they caressed her own. She let her arms wander, feeling, knowing every inch of Taylor’s body, and the kisses became harder, more urgent.
She shifted back, a fire in her raging wildly… an aching need.
“I want you, Taylor…. Now.”
And Taylor whispered back, “I want you too.”
Clothes were torn off, Estela’s heart pounded like a drum, and not for a moment did her eyes leave Taylor until they were both bare in the glow of the sunset.
“Come to me.”
Estela sat bolt upright in bed.
Holy fuck. What the fucking fuck was that?
What was this-- some sort of gay awakening? Never before had Estela felt  so… so… intoxicated by another person. It was all at once frightening and addictive. Her heartbeat quickening, Estela let her hand delve into her pyjama pants, feeling. She shuddered to her own touch as her mind’s eye showed her Taylor’s lips… blurring out of focus… drawing her in until she was moaning against them. Then, as if zapped by an electric shock, she pulled her hand back up. Shit, shit shit… you can not feel like that! You don’t even know this girl!
But you want to.
Damnit, she was aching for that woman. That couldn’t have been a normal dream. In a normal dream, she wouldn't have woken up with the memory so vivid that she could practically feel the ghost of Taylor’s breath against her lips.
You could actually try talking to her. Maybe if you weren’t so fucking repressed it wouldn’t explode out of you like… that.
After an age, Estela managed to shut out her thoughts long enough to drop back off to sleep. But there she was again…. Taylor.
“I brought you a blanket… if you’re cold.”
Estela recoiled, eyes narrowing. “…Why?”
“I don’t know. To be nice?”
Though Taylor looked confused, she kept holding out the blanket. And Estela took it, draping it over her shoulders.
“Thank you.” She looked up to the stars-- stars that seemed to be… in the wrong place? “Where I’m from, people don’t do things for you without expecting something in return.”
For a moment, Taylor didn’t appear to quite know what to say to that. “Well…. Maybe people just want to be liked in return.”
“Isn’t that pathetic?” Estela quietly scoffed. “How lonely we all are?” She shifted her gaze from the night sky and smiled at Taylor. “But at least you’re honest about it.”
Again, she woke up. What the hell was going on?
________________________
The next week was unbearable. Estela wasn’t sure what it was-- was she putting out some kind of signal to the universe?-- but she couldn’t seem to keep herself from running into Taylor. If her presence had felt inescapable before, it had been nothing compared to this. In the halls. In the cafe-- which after a few days Estela had simply started avoiding completely. In Introductory Chemistry, in which of all the people she could have been grouped with for their practical component… of course, Taylor. Even just walking across campus between lessons, their paths would inexplicably cross. And each night, Estela would find herself lost in visions too vivid, too real to be dreams in the sense she knew.
Taylor holding her hand as they prepared to step through a mysterious portal with a group of other students. Taylor kissing her passionately while they tumbled, weightless in what looked to be some kind of space station. Taylor reaching desperately for her as she fell out the gaping side of a helicopter.
Whispered ‘I love you’s, exchanged huddled in a tent beneath the starriest of skies.
Awakening with tears streaming down her face was fast becoming Estela’s normal. Some weird crush, maybe she could’ve been able to handle, but the loneliness… it sent an ache down to her bones, a sadness that engulfed her whole body. She’d felt Taylor’s arms around her… the warmth, the comfort. She’d experienced some higher plane of bliss. But in reality, she hadn’t. And that hollow space left behind when she opened her eyes each morning hit like a slap in the face.
She lay in her bed, closing her eyes and trying to think of anything that might distract her from imagining Taylor spooning against her back-- why couldn’t she just be kept awake stressing about exams like all the other students? It would be better than this. Anything would be better than this.
With a groan, Estela hauled herself up and switched on the light. She poured herself a glass of water, and rubbed her temples.
I’m losing my fucking mind….
A piece of paper scrunched on her desk drew her eye. She’d thrown that thing out twice already, but somehow she couldn’t stop herself from rescuing it from the waste-paper basket within an hour. Taylor had given her a scribbled note of her details; where her room was, her phone number. ‘Just in case you ever need a friend’ she’d said.
It was too late to call. Estela downed her water in a single long gulp. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, I’m just gonna face her head-on.
What was the worst that could happen? This was just some girl she had a crush on, after all.
It was nothing but a very strange, very intense crush.
______________________________
The lecture theatre always filled up quickly for Introductory Chemistry. Estela never had to worry too much about finding a seat; as long as she didn’t leave it too late, all she had to do was move toward the area of her choice, and people would usually scatter. There was no denying that it hurt. Estela had gotten used to being alone; throughout her life, the only person who’d ever wanted to give her the time of day had been her uncle. And… well, the gentle-eyed blonde that she now found herself making a beeline for.
Painfully aware that her cheeks were burning hot and no doubt had flushed a bright red, she approached.
“Hi.” It wasn’t smooth. Estela tried to look anywhere but Taylor’s face. How was she supposed to look her in the eye when the things she’d been dreaming had been so… so… well, there hadn’t always been many clothes involved. “You don’t mind if I…?”
Taylor’s face cracked into a smile, big and broad and genuine. And the guy next to her-- Diego, Estela was pretty sure his name was-- looked, for some reason, almost as happy.
“Sit with us!” Taylor cried. “Maybe you can explain some of this crap to me. I swear these equations just go in one ear and out the other. Sorry-- I don’t think you’ve met properly? Diego-Estela, Estela- Diego.”
Estela nodded stiffly. It seemed that Taylor was around Diego a lot. A mortifying thought occurred to her… were they together? She couldn’t just assume Taylor was single. And… not straight. She certainly didn’t seem especially heterosexual in those blasted dreams….
God, my cheeks must be so bright-fucking-red you could probably see them from space. Joder.
“Hi,” she deadpanned.
“Hi,” said Diego, a little awkwardly.
And then, as if struck by a bolt from the blue, it dawned on Estela-- she knew his face. Not just from around Hartfeld; Diego had been there in the background in the dreams. He’d been one of the students. It wasn’t random… it was, aside from herself and Taylor, nine other people who were definitely Hartfeld students Estela knew by sight. Always those same students. And some other guy… and, uh, some tall elf-like man with blue skin, but that was probably just her dream-mind being creative.
All right. That’s very, very weird. Why those same nine people?
With the lecture beginning, Estela pushed those thoughts from her mind. She could ponder over her dreams later, when she didn’t have the woman who’d been on her mind all week sitting right there next to her.
As it happened, sitting with Taylor through a lecture turned out to be surprisingly comfortable. Perhaps because their focus was not directly on one another, Estela found she could relax a little. Taylor just slipped into her companionship as if it were natural, as if it were something they did every day.
As if they knew one another.
Taylor dropped her pen, and instinctively, Estela ducked down to pick it up. For a moment she hesitated, tucking a loose strand of hair behind hair, then handed it to her. Their fingers brushed, lingering there… and Estela felt a pleasurable flip-flopping of her stomach. When their eyes met, Taylor’s smile was sweet and soft.
“You dropped this,” Estela murmured.
“Thanks,” came the whispered reply.
Okay, Estela thought to herself, maybe… maybe getting to know Taylor-- actually getting to know Taylor, not some dreamland bullshit-- wouldn’t be the worst thing.
___________________________
In the days to come, Estela would sit by Taylor for their shared lectures. It became easy; she’d just sit and quietly just enjoy the company. If Diego was there, he’d usually chatter on about something or other that meant nothing to Estela, but it was hard not to be happy when Taylor was laughing along with her best friend.
The dreams didn’t stop. If anything, they were getting stranger. She dreamed herself pummelling some woman from Rourke International into the snow… punching the ever-living daylights out of her. Why? Taylor had been there, standing by. And then… a great, lumbering beast staggered out of the trees.… And she woke up. Then there’d been sea monsters, and pirates, and a hulking sabre-toothed cat…. What was consistent, though, was Taylor. Always Taylor.
During their next Chemistry lecture, Taylor seemed oddly… uneasy, as if something was on her mind. She was twitchy, and stared off into space as if oblivious to every word the professor was saying. What was more, Diego was quiet. Estela felt a sinking feeling in her stomach; something was wrong-- was it her? Of course it was her. It only made sense that Taylor got with the program eventually; no one wanted to be around the scary loner.
When the lecture finished and all the other students filed out, Taylor lingered, even after Diego had hurried off to his next class. She looked so lost and confused.
Estela spoke quietly. “Am I, um… am I making you uncomfortable? You don’t have to be polite if you’d rather I sat somewhere else….”
Taylor jumped, jolted from her clearly troubled thoughts. “No! No, I… I’m sorry. My head’s a mess right now.” She offered Estela a shaky smile. “But I do….” She took a deep breath. “I so need to talk to you about something. Not here-- the next class will be in here soon.”
Estela followed Taylor to the shade of a big tree, out of earshot of the crowds moving between lecture theatres. Every instinct in her told her this was bad news. Something was wrong… really wrong. She waited for Taylor to speak, not having a clue what to expect to hear.
“So, what is it? Are you okay?”
"This... isn't going to make much sense, okay? But it's the truth. I swear, I'm not lying to you." Taylor looked as if she was on the verge of tears. “You don’t know me,” she said simply after a tense pause, her tone at odds with the pain behind her eyes, pain that made Estela’s drop, “but you did once. Not in the past-- in the future….” Frustration played upon her face, and something like… desperation? “The world wasn’t meant to be like this. Rourke wasn’t meant to be ruling over everything. It was everything; all of history, hell maybe even time itself-- he bent it to his will and made it his plaything. You… think I’m crazy.”
Estela’s face clouded over as she digested what she was being told. Slowly, word by word, letting it sink in.
Yes. Yes, Taylor was clearly crazy. Fuck. Is that why she’s got me so wigged out? She’s obsessed with Rourke; no damn wonder she’s been trying to stalk me.
“Do you remember, ‘Stel? You’ve got to remember something-- La Huerta? We were on Rourke’s private island--”
“Listen.”  Estela spoke with an ice-cold edge to her voice. She’d been taken for a fool. As if anyone could have wanted to be close to her simply for her. ‘Just want to be liked in return’?-- bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. How could she have been so stupid?
“That bastard is nothing, nothing to do with me. And if you come around talking insane conspiracy theories, it is not going to end well for you.” It wasn’t a threat, so much as a warning. Rourke was dangerous, and this weirdo was playing with fire. Whatever was wrong with Taylor, and clearly something was, it was messing with Estela’s head. She couldn’t be swept up in that bullshit. If she drew Rourke’s attention to herself, her very freedom could go up in flames. “Now, if you know what’s good for you-- if you don’t have a goddamn death wish… you stay away from me.”
She hadn’t been prepared for the look of utter devastation in Taylor’s face as it crumbled at those words. It threw Estela off-guard, and even through her anger, some inexplicable protective urge flared up within her. As if Taylor’s hurt was a knife twisting in her own chest. It was more than she knew what to do with. Her heart drumming furiously against her ribs, Estela pierced Taylor with a hard, lingering stare.
“Stay,” she growled, even as the effect of her words was terrible pain. Pain so all-engulfing that she could fall to her knees on the spot. “Away.”
And she fled.
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chichirichick · 27 days ago
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SoMa Week Day 4: Apologize
I did it!!!! Day 4 is up and running! And just a warning (that any fandom person probably already knows), obviously an apology between Soul and Maka doesn't go easily... Check it out on ff.net, ao3, or after the cut!
Maka had spent their morning classes as storm clouds on the horizon- grey and black with impending doom, threatening thunder and lightning just from the look of them. Soul was working double-time to maintain the cool guy exterior but internally, it was a bit of a shit-show. Nothing-- repeat, nothing-- fruitful had come from his analysis of breakfast which was when he first noticed the potential monsoon coming his way as Maka spent more time stirring her cereal than eating it.
Did I leave my towel on the floor again?
Nope.
Was it my turn to empty the dishwasher?
He checked Maka's annoyance-inducing chore chart and found it was not.
Did I somehow sleepwalk last night and go on some tirade that now means I can never be forgiven?
Welp, anything at this point was a possibility since no matter how much Soul searched his mind, there was no answer to the category-5 that was Maka Albarn today.
So, our master of strategy, the man-- boy no longer fit here, or at least he hoped so-- who always tried to balance his meister's ability to jump headfirst into any problem without a lick of thought first, planned to hide.
Technically, it had worked too. Maybe a little too well as Soul then started to have rainclouds of his own to pull around. I miss her. Yes, he was such a pathetic sap that an afternoon without Ms. Sunshine herself to bust through his own grumpiness left him sore. Heart sore. Soul sore. Since now it felt like if they weren't wrapped together, if her soul wasn't pieced in perfect with his, something was missing. What a pathetic sap.
That was definitely the resounding conclusion in his head especially after the two of them passed the evening in separate spaces. With the sun down and both his body and soul tired, Soul's mind kept him awake, preoccupied with creating the perfect apology. All the years with her were an absolute help in the construction of such a thing since he had to be exceptionally sorry for the myriad of idiot things he'd done over their time together. One might even go so far as to say that he was actually talented at their creation, since, thankfully, there had yet to be a moment where one had not won him Maka's forgiveness.
Who knows, though, today could be the day!
Soul pressed a painful groan into his pillow as he began the chore of suffocating in the fabric and making a detailed plea for her forgiveness.
It was then that this door opened without an announcement or a knock.
He rolled over, trying not to gulp for air even though his lungs were screaming for it since Maka was standing in the doorway, arms crossed tightly against her chest.
"Hey?" That wasn't meant to be a question but between his voice cracking and the panic, his octave had wavered enough to make it one.
"I'm sorry!" It was just as much an accusation as an apology.
Soul stared wide-eyed.
"I know you've been avoiding me all day-"
Soul raised his eyebrows and managed a "wha-?"
"All morning you were just doing that stare-and-think, so I know you were upset and I just couldn't- I still can't figure out what I did, and I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry even though I know that doesn't make it any better!" The words were scrambling for supremacy, all of them almost blurring together at the end as a few tears ran loose down her cheeks.
He sat up the rest of the way, watching as his movement made her flinch, made her consider running, but that didn't discourage the rest. Soul stood, ready to sprint if she did, but Maka simply teetered foot to foot in her discomfort. Once he was close enough, he reached for her, getting a handle on one of her elbows to keep her in place. "Whaddya think you did?"
"I don't know," she pressed back.
"If you think you did somethin' wrong you prolly have a guess." His other hand grasped her other arm, getting her to fumble a step closer. "Don't think you'd apologize unless you think you actually did somethin'."
She huffed. "I-" There was that sway again and her eyes trailed away to the floor. "I've been ignoring you."
Soul sighed. "You think so?"
"I know so," Maka warbled tearfully. "I just- I-" She pulled one elbow out of his grasp so she could use her hand to clear away the tears, breaking her hard stance just as her resolve started to falter. "Soul, I don't know how to tell you, and I'm sorry."
"Though we always knew how to talk to each other." Soul couldn't stop the stutter of his own voice, but even without a second breath he continued, "Friends- partners do that."
With each one of those monikers, her wavelength pulsed.
"You don't think we're that?" he offered shakily.
"We are, but-" Another desperate fractured cry sparked between them.
Soul tightened his grip on her. "There ain't a but, Maka. I'm your friend. I'm your partner. If there's something else, it ain't a but." He heaved another sigh, his fingers trembling as he weakly shook their connection. "I thought you were mad at me, but that ain't it, huh? There's somethin'... somethin' wrong. Maybe has been for a lil' while. Makes me scared that there's somethin' else. So don't tell me there's a but, Maka, please."
She felt the fear explode from him, the tightly positioned mask slipping and letting that inky darkness that he always held at bay leak between them. "I'm sorry," she murmured again as she searched his face.
"Please, stop sayin' that," he pleaded back as another sickly wave of fear lapped between them.
"No, I'm sorry, I forgot…" Maka let her voice drift off as her hand lifted with a purpose, pressing firmly to his chest. The echo was clear, that moment that she'd promised in her heart to be braver, to make sure she never let him get hurt for her sake again. This time, she could look him in the eyes; this time she could make him a better promise. "There is a but- and it was only because I was afraid, except I can't let my fear hurt you. Which means…" She swallowed all of it- the terror, any bit of pride- and jumped like she always did. "I'm your friend, I'm your partner, but I'm also not going to ignore that I have feelings beyond that. I… was avoiding you because I was avoiding them. Looking at you, being with you, just makes me want more and I'm terrified that you don't want the same thing or that it hurts you. I can't really decide which would be worse."
While Soul's eyebrows were furrowed in thought, his soul was playing out a completely different song. "Then I gotta apologize."
For all her courage, Maka couldn't utter another word, just staring at his searching eyes and trying to decipher why his internal melody sounded so beautiful at that moment.
"'Cause I thought I was makin' it pretty obvious." His lean was slow, easing forward until their foreheads touched. It wasn't the first time they'd been this close, but it was the first time that his hands drifted cautiously towards her back, tipping her into him in a closeness that wasn't necessarily for comfort. "Friend, partner, and if there's more than that, it ain't a but. It's an and."
"Friend, partner, and…" The tilt of her chin came achingly slow, but the reward made their weeks, months, years of waiting worth it. After all, their first kiss definitely wasn't something to apologize for.
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darkmulti · a month ago
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King of Hell
BTS
Series : part 1
Pairing: demon!Jungkook x human!Female Reader x demon!Taehyung x demon!Jimin
Genre: Angst & Smut
Word Count: 4.3K
CONTAINS DARK THEMES!
PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! READ WARNINGS CAREFULLY!
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A/N: SHAIWJW, IVE BEEN “WRITING” THIS FIC SINCE LAST YEAR, HOLY FUCK. Anyways I hope you enjoy this shitty story:)
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These are the warnings for the entire series!! This is a dark fanfic that is not meant for everyone! If these warnings trigger you, please leave!!
Smut Warning(s): multiple smuts, cockwarming, face slapping, saliva kink, thigh riding, humiliation, heavy degradation, dacryphilia kink, threesome, anal, blowjob, somnophilia kink, mirror sex, choking, spanking, hair pulling, rough sex, mix of ddlg, sleep sex, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, squirting, begging, small bits of praising, marking, fear kink, cum shots, cum eating
Other Warning(s): possessive!Jungkook, blood, murder, torture, physical abuse, Stockholm Syndrome, submissive reader
I’m probably missing something...
THIS FIC CONTAINS NON CONSENSUAL SEX! PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
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Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew this was wrong. But did she care?
No.
The girl laid supine on her boss's desk, sore legs bound around his torso, caging him in. His hand gently kneads her sensitive breast, earning soft moans from her. She grabbed his tie and tugged on it until he leaned down and passionately kissed her. The man gently pulled her up and swiftly wrapped his shapely arms around her body. She pulled away first, eager to catch her breath.
The excessive tension in the overheated room was unbearable. Her head remained low in embarrassment while her boss burned her with his gaze. To break up the tension, she awkwardly clears her throat and hops off his desk. For some reason, she desperately wanted to apologize but stopped herself. From what she remembers, her boss was undressing her with his eyes, so she let him have it. Deciding she’s not going to apologize, she frantically pulled up her skirt and opened the door to leave.
However, her boss was faster than her and instantly closed it again. He cupped her cheeks and attempted to kiss her again, but she stepped away. “I’m sorry, Dr. Kim. It’s getting late and my apartment is far from here, so I better get going. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Taehyung scowled at her. It was insulting to him. No one has ever rejected his touch. He grabbed the hem of her shirt and flung her onto his desk. She groaned in pain, protecting her injured side. Taehyung clutched her face and attached his lips onto hers, kissing her like it was his last time. She instinctively kicked her legs at him, but that made him more belligerent.
“Stop! Leave me alone!” She yelled, throwing her hands against his chest, trying to get him off. Unfortunately, she was no match for him. Taehyung pinned her down without a struggle and pulled her skirt down again. “I tried being nice, princess. But now you’ve gotten on my nerves.” He growled, forcing his cock in, despite her screaming at him to stop.
A sadistic smirk appears on his face as he picks up his pace. His warm cock fitted inside of her perfectly. It was like they were made for each other. He closed his eyes and threw his head back, enjoying the feeling to the fullest. While Taehyung was on cloud nine, the girl was bawling her eyes out underneath him. “T- Taehyung! Stop! It h- hurts!” She sobbed uncontrollably, breath hitching. Her vision started to blur as she felt her energy drain out of her writhing body. She's never endured this much pain.
Taehyung grunts as he pushes himself forward one last time before cumming in her. “Fuck! You feel so good, baby.” He leaned down and licked her tears away. He then created a trail of hickeys along her jawline, down to her collar bone. “How about another round, babe?”
“No, no! Please, no! It hurts!” She hiccuped, putting her hands together. “Please, Dr. Kim. I’ll do anything except for this! I c- can give you money… if you’d like.” Taehyung couldn’t help himself. Watching her beg for mercy was a turn on. “I don’t need your filthy money, slut. Now stay still or else you're fired.”
He ruthlessly entered in again. She let out a painful whimper but didn’t dare to move because her job was on the line. Taehyung held her hips down and quickened his pace. The helpless girl was fighting off the urge to push him away with all her remaining strength. Soon enough, her legs trembled on their own as ripples of forced pleasure went through her body. More tears gathered in her fearful eyes. A minute passed, she was still sprawled on his desk, catching her breath. “C- can I pl- please leave now?” She faintly whispered, on the verge of passing out.
Taehyung pulled her ragged skirt up then pulled her upright. He moved her hair out of her face and tenderly caressed her cheek, admiring her face. “You won’t tell anyone about this, understand?” She sobbed but nodded her head. “Good… get your stuff, I’ll drive you home.”
“No, sir. It’s okay. I’ll call a taxi. You can go home.” Taehyung’s eyes darkened. He grabbed her neck and squeezed it. “You’re making me repeat myself, Y/N. You out of all people should know how much I hate doing that. Now for the last time, get your shit and I’ll drive you home.” He took a step back and followed her to her office. She quickly grabbed her purse and jacket, then they both headed out.
The car ride home was silent. She didn't dare to speak a word. Not after what he did to her. All she could do is keep her head down and play with the hem of her shirt. Taehyung glanced over at her here and there, but he too didn’t speak a word. He looked in his rear view mirror and spotted his best friend sitting in the back, staring at “his” girl. “Keep your eyes off of her. She’s already taken, Jungkook.”
Y/N flinched when Taehyung started talking. “Huh? Are you talking to me?” She asked, confused. Red flags were popping up but she couldn’t exactly jump onto the highway. She bit down on her lip and waited for a response. “Took you a while to detect my presence, Taehyung. I thought you could do better.” She immediately turned around and saw a man sitting in the middle seat, legs spread apart. His long, jet-black hair almost veiled his eyes, and he was covered in tattoos. “Who the hell are you?!” She slightly yells, clearly startled by the man. “I wouldn’t raise my voice if I were you, sweetheart. Anyone who disrespects me will regret it for the rest of their life and afterlife.” Jungkook mockingly said, confusing the girl even more. She turned to Taehyung for an explanation, but he simply rested his hand on her thigh. “Calm down, angel. I won’t let him hurt you.”
“Bold of you to say that, Taehyung. You really think you can take me on?” Jungkook challenged.
“To keep her by my side, I’d knock you over without hesitation.” Taehyung said with a dull expression on his face.
“Don’t tell me you have feelings for this girl. Man, you keep letting me down. First living in the mortal world and now, falling in love. What’s next? Marriage? Family planning? Pathetic, Kim Taehyung. If Jimin were here, he’d be laughing his ass off.”
“If you have nothing nice to say, leave. I thought you didn’t enjoy the mortal world.”
“I don’t, I just wanted to see what my dearest friend is up to. I’m astonished, however. You managed to keep that unpleasant side of yours a secret.”
Taehyung glanced at his girl. Her face was pale and if you looked closely, she was shaking. Taehyung stroked her thigh in a soothing manner, signinally her to calm down. Out of fear, she clings to Taehyung’s hand tightly. This didn’t go unnoticed by Jungkook. He sensed her fear the moment she sat in the car. He enjoyed watching her crumble apart in the passenger seat. She looked vulnerable and afraid, he wanted to ruin her innocent looking face.
“Stop gawking at my girlfriend, Kook. Don’t you have anything better to do?”
“No, I actually don’t. Next month, I’ll be announced king, but until then, I’ll hang around you and this lovely princess.”
From that point on, Taehyung knew he couldn’t leave her alone. If he did, Jungkook would 100% hurt her or even worse, mark her as his own. Jungkook’s one selfish bastard. He will always put himself before others. Taehyung immediately knew Jungkook was attracted to her; he could tell just by observing the way Jungkook looked at her. But he wasn’t going to let Jungkook have her too. Originally, Taehyung was supposed to be king, but Jungkook was stubborn and wanted to fight for the title. Taehyung didn’t want to fight his best friend, so he willingly surrendered.
30 minutes later, he finally arrived at her apartment. She quietly thanked Taehyung for the ride, then got out. However, Taehyung turned off his engine and got out of his car. “I’m staying with you tonight.” Without question, she nodded her head and grabbed Taehyung’s hand. She was terrified of what was going on. Of course she wanted an explanation, but Taehyung seemed to be protecting her. Therefore, she thought it’d be the best to stay with him until she knows exactly what’s going on.
She opened her apartment door and set her purse and jacket on the table. “I’m gonna go shower… Make yourself at home... I guess.” She mumbled the last part and headed to her bathroom until Taehyung stopped her. “Mind if I join?” Taehyung hinted he needed to talk to her so she said yes. Meanwhile, Jungkook plopped down on the couch with his arm behind his head. “Got any bourbon?” He yelled and she responded, “the cabinet behind you has all the liquor I own.”
Taehyung pulled her into the bathroom and hugged her tightly. “I’m sorry! I fucked everything up for you.”
“Taehyung, what are you talking about?” She worriedly asked. Taehyung looked at the door then quickly turned the shower on. “We have to be quiet. He might hear us.” “Please tell me what’s going on! Who is he? How did he get inside your car?!” She whispers as calmly as she can. “His name is Jeon Jungkook. Next month, he'll be announced king of hell. He’s a very powerful demon and currently, he’s looking for his queen. Someone who can be the mother of his children and someone he can somewhat tolerate. Y/N, he has his eyes on you. You need stay around me, so I can protect you. I know I hurt you not too long ago, but trust me on this one. Jungkook has anger issues and if he gets a hold of you, you will be his punching bag for eternity.”
“Demon? King of hell? Are you hearing yourself right now?” She whispers louder, being unable to control her anger and concern. “I’m not lying, Y/N. How else did he get into my car. Do you remember our conversation in the car? He said he didn't like the human world.”
“What about you? What are you?!”
“I’m a demon too.”
“Prove it because I don’t believe-” Taehyung towers over her and his eyes turn black. His teeth become insanely sharp and black, thick horns start coming out of his head. She stood there, staring at his true form. She reached out and touched his cheek which was freezing cold. “Demons are real?” She faintly whispered. “Take your clothes off. He’s coming.” Taehyung’s out of his clothes in a blink of an eye but she didn’t want to remove her clothes. Taehyung heard Jungkook getting closer, so he ripped her clothes off and pushed her in the shower. He followed behind and pinned her against the wall, kissing her forcefully. “He’s looking through the door, pretend you're enjoying it so we're unsuspicious.” She surprisingly listens and returns the kiss. Taehyung picks her up, and she wraps her legs around his waist, allowing him to enter her. “Moan loud for me, baby.” The girl digs her nails into his shoulder and releases her needy moans.
Jungkook was standing in the door way, watching Taehyung fuck the living out of her. What he would do to be in his position. A part of Jungkook was telling him to kill Taehyung and take his place. However, the other half of him knew that it would create a war between the Kim’s and the Jeon’s. Centuries of feuds have been going on between the two families and it finally ended when Taehyung’s father made a peace offering and Jungkook’s dad happily accepted. From there on, Taehyung and Jungkook grew up together as best friends. Jungkook stopped himself from making a big mistake but continued watching the two fuck.
Taehyung came in her one last time before pulling out and cleaning her up with some water. She clung onto Taehyung because she had no more feeling in her legs. Her clit was burning from the overstimulation, but she wasn’t complaining because it felt so good. He carried her back to her room and wiped her body off with a towel. Jungkook went back to the couch and tried to relax his mind. For some reason, her moans kept playing in his head and before he knew it, he was hard. “Shit!” He angrily muttered.
After tucking Y/N in, Taehyung came to the living room to see what Jungkook was doing. Jungkook was leaning on the balcony railing, staring at the full moon. “If you want, you can crash at my place.” Taehyung said, fiddling with his house keys. “Nah, I think I’ll stay right here… By the way, your girlfriend is hot. If she ever wants to have a threesome, tell her-”
“She doesn’t, Jungkook. One man is good enough for her.”
“That’s too bad. Well, tell her if she gets tired of you she can come to me any time and anywhere.” Jungkook cockishly smiled, raising one eyebrow. “Stop with the jokes, will you?” Taehyung's voice got deeper because he’s had enough of Jungkook’s irritating comments. “I’m going to bed now. Sleep on the couch or wander on the street, I don’t care. Just don’t kill anyone.” Taehyung said before leaving Jungkook alone on the balcony. “I'll try not to.”
Taehyung opened the door and saw Y/N struggling to fall asleep. He quickly got into her bed and pulled her into his comforting embrace. “Shhh, it’s okay. I’m here now.” He carefully laid her face on his chest then ran his fingers through her smooth hair. “I love you so much. You don’t even know how long I’ve been watching you.”
“How long?” She whispers back. “First year of university was when I first saw you. Ever since then, I’ve been looking out for you.” She giggled and wrapped her arms around his body. “Why didn’t you talk to me?” Taehyung smiled, remembering why. “I’m a little shy.” She climbed up his chest and kissed him on the lips. “Is he gone?” She asked, tracing lines on Taehyung’s chest. “He’s gonna crash on your couch. Sorry about him, sweetheart.”
“It’s okay.”
Soon, silence took over the room and the girl fell asleep on Taehyung’s chest. Taehyung continued to play with her hair and trace her back until the door slightly opened. He saw Jungkook in the doorway and sighed. “What do you want now?”
“Her.”
Everything happened rapidly. The door swung open and all Taehyung saw were 2 red eyes staring him down. Before he could react, Jungkook knocked him out and pinned the girl’s body down. He entered into her sore cunt, causing her to wake up. As soon as she saw Jungkook’s face, she started to scream and fight. “Stop! Taehyung, help me!” She shook Taehyung’s body, but he was unresponsive. “What did you do to him?!”
“Shut up and cooperate with me or else I’ll take you to hell.” Jungkook swiftly got into a better position and let his raging boner free. The bed frame began banging against the wall harder and harder each time. Y/N was in a state of shock. She didn’t know what to do. Jungkook viciously thrusted into her and held her down by her neck. “No! Please! Stop!” Jungkook flipped her around and took her from behind. He spanked her ass multiple times, leaving his hand print on her skin. He pulled out and got up from the bed, dragging her along with him. “Look at yourself, you fucking slut.” Jungkook pulled her hair and forced her to look at herself in the mirror. “Watch me fuck you, slut. If I see your eyes aren’t open, I’ll slit your family's throat and send you pictures.”
“No! No! Please don’t! I- I won’t close my eyes, I promise.” Jungkook thrusted in again and had no mercy on her. Tears were rushing down her face but didn't once close her eyes. Jungkook deliberately went faster seeing if she could handle the pain. It took a lot out of her, but she didn’t want to put her family in danger so she listened to every order. Jungkook continued fucking her hard. He could sense the fear that was taking over her body. She was shaking and silently crying, but it merely encouraged him to go faster. At last, he pushed his whole length in and came deep inside her. She squirted around him and collapsed on the floor. “No more, please” “Get on your knees, now!” She whimpered but got on her knees. Jungkook didn’t waste a second to shove his whole cock in her mouth. He grabbed her face and started fucking her throat as fast as he could. After some time, hot cum was running down her throat as he finally pulled out. The poor girl was choking on her own saliva when Jungkook clutched her hair and spat in her mouth.
Jungkook wanted to go for another round, but someone hit his head, knocking him out. Jungkook fell to the floor, revealing a conscious Taehyung. He immediately picked her off the floor and hugged her tightly. She started sobbing on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, baby. We have to leave.” He quietly spoke. Taehyung quickly cleaned her up and gave her some warm clothes to wear. He carried her out of the apartment and into his car. He quickly dialed someone’s number and stepped on the gas.
“Hello?”
“Jimin! Take your fucking brother back to hell. He’s lost his fucking mind. He knocked me unconscious and raped my girlfriend.”
“Holy shit! Where is he?”
Taehyung quickly informs Jimin of Jungkook’s location.
“I’ll pick him up. Just find a safe place, Tae.”
“Yeah, I will.”
—————————————————-
After receiving the call from Taehyung, Jimin rushed to Jungkook. He was still on the floor, passed out. “How hard did you hit him, Taehyung?” Jimin muttered before bringing Jungkook back to hell and chaining him up.
Jungkook woke up with his head pounding. He groaned and looked at his surroundings. “What the hell?” He spoke in a raspy voice. “Wake up, brother. Taehyung informed me you were up to no good.” Right, that bastard Taehyung, he thought. Memories of last night came rushing to his head and he couldn't help but smile. “Where’s Y/N?” Jungkook asked, replaying last night in his head. “Y/N? As in Taehyung’s girlfriend?”
“Don’t call her Taehyung’s girlfriend. Soon, she’ll find her way back to me.”
“Brother, I knew you were absurd, but fucking Taehyung’s girlfriend? Really?”
“You’ve never seen her before, so you won’t understand. But as soon as you get close to her, I ensure you, you won’t be capable of controlling yourself.”
“I’ll see for myself.” Jimin said before getting up and closing the heavy metal door, leaving Jungkook alone.
————————————
1 month later
After the incident with Jungkook, Y/N and Taehyung got into a serious relationship. Every single day, Taehyung worked on becoming stronger to protect his beloved. He felt remorseful for placing her in this kind of situation, so the least he could do is protect her. Y/N was deeply in love with Taehyung. At first, she kept telling herself she only wants him around so he can keep her safe, however she couldn’t help herself. She let go of what he did in the past and focused on the present.
“Taehyung! I’m home!” Taehyung pops his head from the kitchen and she swiftly runs into his embrace. “I missed you.” She pouted her lips and kissed him. “Guess what?”
“What?”
“I missed you more.” She giggles at his response and pecks him all over his face. Taehyung picked her up and sat on the couch with her on his lap. A sweet make out turned into a heated one quickly. She tugged on his shirt then removed it for him and he did the same for her. “How about we try something different?” Taehyung placed her on one of his thighs and placed both of his hands on her ass. “Ride my thigh, angel.” She started moving slowly, unsure of how it might feel. Once her clit started getting some stimulation, she kept going faster and faster, falling apart in Taehyung’s arms. She clenched and came around nothing while Taehyung attacked her tits with his mouth. He left a trail of hickeys all over her upper chest. Taehyung came in his pants just from watching her and feeling her juices leak onto his thigh.
They both eagerly kissed each other until Y/N pulled away. “Can we go out for dinner? I don’t feel like cooking today.” She panted, playing with Taehyung’s hair. “Of course we can.”
——————————————-
The long-awaited day had finally come. The crowd was larger than it ever had been. Everyone came down to watch the ritual and pay their respects to the new king. Torches were pointed downward, symbolizing death. In the middle of the stadium, there was a massive platform. On the platform, there was a throne, a crown, a pentagram and a tied up angel for the sacrifice. Jimin and his father stood side by side, wearing black suits. The crowd went silent when everyone detected a compelling, cold presence. Jungkook revealed himself from the shadows in his true form. He was shirtless with only a thin fabric wrapped around his waist. He walked to the platform and laid down on the pentagram. Everyone knew, this was the beginning of a new chapter.
Moments later Jungkook was screaming in pain. His body became a portal for all the previous kings. They were passing their abilities down to him, resulting in Jungkook's chest and back being burned. Everyone in the audience stood up and started chanting. Jungkook sat upright and headed towards the angel who was pleading for mercy. He manipulated his sharp nail and slit their throat, killing them in a matter of seconds. He attached his mouth onto their neck as the chanting got louder. The warm, thick liquid gliding down his throat was incredibly addictive. Jungkook could feel his power triple in seconds. He tossed the deceased angel away like a rag doll then faced his people. He stretched his wings and grew out his horns.
“I am honoured to be your new king. Thank you to everyone who came to watch the ritual. Please know I’ve acknowledged your presence and respect. I greatly appreciate it.”
Everyone applauded for Jungkook. Surviving the ritual requires an enormous amount of strength. Jungkook has proved to everyone that he is worthy of being king.
——————————-
“Are you ready? I feel like I’ve been waiting forever.” Taehyung said, sitting down on the couch. He was dressed up in his black suit and tie, looking flawless like always. 5 minutes had passed, and he still hadn’t heard a word from her. “Angel? What’s taking so long? Do you need help with your dress?” Taehyung walked back to their shared bedroom only to see Jungkook holding her down with his sharp nail on her neck. “I’m giving you two options, Taehyung. Let me have her, and I won’t hurt her or, she dies, I take her back to hell and torture her for eternity. What will it be, Taehyung?” All Taehyung saw was red. Without realizing, he changed into his demon form and attacked Jungkook. He managed to get him off of her, but strength and power wise, Taehyung was no match. Jungkook punched him over and over, until his nose and jaw was broken.
“Fuck you, Jungkook. I let you have everything! I gave it all up for you because I wanted to be a good friend! One good thing happens in my life and you fucking take it away!” Taehyung yelled, managing to punch him one last time. Y/N sprinted off the bed and rushed to Taehyung’s side. She didn’t care that Jungkook was there, all she cared about was Taehyung. “Taehyung! You’re bleeding! What should I do?! Should I call the ambulance?!” Taehyung looked into her eyes and his heart softened. Tears were streaming down her face. She was actually worried about him. Even after he revealed his true form, she stayed by his side. Does that mean she loves him? Taehyung slightly smiled. “I’ll be alright, love. I’ll heal by tomorrow.”
“No, you won’t.” Jungkook interjected as he got up and kicked Taehyung’s head. “STOP!” She screamed, protecting Taehyung with her body. She wrapped her arms around his head so Jungkook couldn't kick him. “C- can’t you see he’s hurt?! Leave him alone!” She bawled. “I’m not going to leave him alone until he makes a decision. So Taehyung, what will it be?” Taehyung wrapped his arms around her waist, refusing to let her go. “There are billions of other people in the world. Why do you want MY girlfriend?!”
“Don’t question me, Taehyung. Now give me her, or I’ll have to forcefully take her.”
Y/N started sobbing on Taehyung’s shoulder. “Please don’t take him away from me. I love him. Please don’t.” She begged, her tears staining Taehyung’s shirt. Jungkook was slowly starting to lose his temper. He massaged his temples then grabbed her arm, prying her off and away from Taehyung. “If you don’t come back with me to hell, I’ll kill Taehyung right here right now. Or better yet, I’ll make you help me kill him.”
Y/N began to shake. “Please don’t hurt him. I’ll go back with you.”
“No! Y/N he’s going to hurt you! Jungkook you can kill me but leave her alone after I die. You break the promise and will die too.”
“No, Taehyung! I can’t let you die! You can’t leave me alone!” Jungkook pushed the girl back and kicked Taehyung in the stomach. “If you want her so badly, you’re going to have to fight me.” With that, Jungkook turned around, picked her up and disappeared. “NO! Shit! Shit!” Taehyung cursed at himself.
Once again, he failed to protect his love.
——————————————————————————
Uhhh, hi🤠
This is terrible and I’m sorry if it doesn’t live up to your expectations. I completely understand because many people have been waiting for this fic to release and it’s not even good. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed what part 1 has to offer. At first, I didn’t want to make this into a series because I’m very inconsistent. However, I had a sickening plot in mind that I really wanted to do, so the next best option was to make this into a series.
I know, not a lot of Jimin was in this, but the next couple of parts will have him.
xoxo,
naina❣️
294 notes · View notes
taechaos · a month ago
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from Textbook Love drabbles
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pairing: bully!Jungkook x nerdy!fem!Reader
genre: drabble(?), smut, college au
synopsis: “She’s too sweet,” Taehyung begins, “too kind, too nice, everything you’re not. You wouldn’t be trying to keep me away from her if you didn’t know that. Are you afraid she’ll like me better?”
warnings: slight angst, arguing, dubcon, mild violence
word count: 4.7k
a/n: ima need yall to submit jk gifs cuz it is taking me TOO long to find a good one 👺 not proofread.
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The weekend is fun: students’ two days of temporary rest and catching up on their assignments. Jungkook doesn’t concern himself with the latter, but he does enjoy waking up later in the day and lying down on the grass with his arms crossed under his head, bathing in the sun without any worries. It’s peaceful, thinking thoughts of you with dimmed eyes while the breeze gently wafts past him.
But of course, Taehyung wouldn’t let him just enjoy his day without a hint of irritation. Good things never last anyway. He’s sitting in the middle of the field, a hot spot for relaxation, and feels the soil under his palms while observing his surroundings. Yoongi is with them, munching on a few snacks while scrolling through his phone as it quietly plays music.
“The girl at the party,” Taehyung begins before glancing at Jungkook through his sunglasses, “she was alone when I came back. You weren’t around either; did you cum too soon or something? I saw you two kiss.”
“I left,” Jungkook mumbles without opening his eyes.
“Why?”
“I was bored.”
“And where did you go?” he pries.
“None of your business.”
Taehyung scoffs at his dismissal before averting his gaze elsewhere. “I do have a guess.”
“Don’t start,” Yoongi warns him without looking up. The two best friends usually get into arguments in a matter of seconds daily, and Yoongi just wants to spend his day without having to break up a fight. Just this once, he hopes… but hope doesn’t save him.
“I’m just wondering if you actually went all the way back to campus to fuck another girl, who coincidentally also does your homework.” His tone is cool and collected, but it borders on mocking that usually goes unnoticed. He’s been around these two too long for them to miss, however. Yoongi sighs, dreading the response already.
Jungkook sits up on his elbows with a glare directed towards Taehyung. “How’s your ex holding up, Tae? You think she cheated on another guy yet?”
Neither of the two friends have a filter around them, no consideration for their words as they apathetically insult one another; but Jungkook can go too far, especially by bringing up old wounds. 
Taehyung was in a toxic relationship with his first girlfriend of two years, which took a huge toll on his mindset. Constant infidelity, endless forgiving, make up sex and catching her with another man after: a cycle that went on for over 24 months. The concept of love became tainted in his eyes, no longer interacting with the opposite gender if not to get laid, and Jungkook’s commensalistic - rather parasitic - relationship doesn’t disprove his hateful ideology. Love only consists of two people: a host who provides, and the parasite that selfishly takes it all. 
But he isn’t over the pain that lasted a year after the break up, which was shamelessly executed by the parasite: his former girlfriend. It took a lot of trust to open up about it to his friends, and it lifted a heavy weight off of his chest. Only this year did he stop thinking about her, until Jungkook asked about her so casually. It stings his heart only for a second, and he scoffs as Yoongi intervenes, “Both of you need to shut the fuck up.”
“If you guys want to talk about my relationships, then don’t get all whiny when I talk about yours.”
Taehyung swallows his pride and confidently answers, “I don’t know, Jungkook. I hear she’s doing well, but no information on her boyfriends. Your turn: what’s going on with that nerd?”
“Elaborate.”
“Are you two dating?” Yoongi asks exhaustedly. They just keep taking every opportunity to annoy each other, and it’s even overwhelming him at this point. 
Rolling his neck side to side in thought, Jungkook takes a moment to answer, “No.”
“Bullshit,” Taehyung spits. “You know what? Let’s just move on. I’m sure I could get proper answers from someone else.”
“If you have a death wish, that is,” he warns with a slight seethe before lying back down.
He doesn’t respond and hides a smirk, a couple having a romantic picnic ahead of him from a distance. He watches them for a few seconds before muttering to himself, “It’s not going to be my death.”
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Yoongi and Jungkook chill on their own after Taehyung leaves. He’s roaming the campus in hopes of finding that one girl who is always wearing some school skirt and working 24/7 to find out what is so special about her. Jungkook might think he doesn’t notice them interacting, but behind that airhead facade, he’s observant. It’s not that big of a fucking secret either, they’re not deliberately hiding their strangely beneficial friendship or whatever. You stick out like a sore thumb in the yard, though there’s not many people to tell you apart from anyway.
He approaches you rather slowly, inspecting your figure first before meeting you. Your posture is straight and composed, fingers quickly typing away on your keyboard without even looking at them. You look so serious to him, a contrast to the radiant butterflies flying past you in such a bright environment. He wonders if you ever procrastinate or take breaks, and most importantly, how someone that appears so smart has fallen into such an obvious trap set by his best friend of all people. 
His hands are in his pockets as he speaks his first words to you. “Hi, I’m Taehyung.”
Your reaction is instant: a quick look at him and you’re already frowning. “I’m Jungkook’s best friend,” he adds in case you’ve seen him around before. 
“I don’t know you.” And with that distant reply, you return to your essay. If meeting Jimin has taught you anything, it’s that you can’t trust anyone who claims to know your lover. They are just using it against you… 
“Well, shit,” he laughs, “I didn’t realize you were so cold.” Your eyes don’t waver from your screen, so he tries another approach: “Are you the girl Jungkook left the party a few days back for?”
Your ears perk up in his direction, but you don’t show it. But he notices the pause in your taps before you continue typing, and he holds that against you. He takes a seat across from you, and your laptop covers your face from him. “I just wanted to meet the person that’s got him whipped enough to get high and run off to them.” You bite down on a smile and prolong your silence. “I guess I’ll talk to you when you’re not busy.” 
He stands up just as you tell him, “Wait, no, I’m not busy.” You close your laptop mid-way before hesitating, but slam it shut nonetheless. “Sorry.”
“You’re good.” He sits back down and clasps his hands on the table. “So what’s going on between you and him? He refuses to tell me, as if you’re his little secret.”
You shyly look down at your flats and twiddle your fingers on your lap. “We’re together… but he is very mysterious.”
It’s a good thing you don’t glance at him to hide your blush, because he’s a little skeptical. He puckers his lips and furrows his brows but controls his expression when you look up. He mentally curses for taking longer than a few seconds to respond; it’s suspicious. “I know right? I don’t know why he’s so reluctant to talk about you. You’re a total sweetheart.”
Approval from Jungkook’s friend: check. Will he like you more if you get along with his friends? The thought excites you, because at least this is someone he likes, unlike Jimin. “Thank you,” you shy a smile. “Um…”
You’re awkward: not Jungkook’s type, Taehyung notes. You’re obviously the host... “So is this a fling, or are you two serious?”
“We’re serious!” you immediately answer. “I love him, and he recently told me he loves me too. He used to kiss me for doing his homework, but now he does it out of nowhere.”
Wow… romantic. He suppresses a chuckle because he doesn’t want to laugh in your face, not when you’re so cute when you talk about him. Your eyes light up with a gleam, a lovesick smile gracing your face and now desperate to befriend him. You look like him when he was supposedly in love. You’re serious about Jungkook, but for how long? Especially when the other side of the relationship is not so committed. It should be mutual: with two hosts.
“Yeah?” he acts interested and raises his sunglasses up to his hair. “How does he act around you?”
“Well,” you start gushing, “he is a little closed off with his emotions.” True. “He doesn’t like me talking to other guys.” Ooh, interesting. “He can’t stand being ignored,” you chuckle. Can he now? “And… he is so cute when he’s jealous. He has this glare whenever I don’t give him enough attention, but he would never admit it. He likes being intimate with me, likes it when I reassure him. He never says it out loud though, I can just tell by looking at him. I’ve never felt this way for anyone, never fell in love with someone until I met Jungkook. I just want to make him happy because he used to look so sad when I watched him from afar.” A hopeless romantic.
Maybe if you didn’t sound so genuine and innocent, he would’ve made fun of you. But he just feels pity for someone who is so giving to someone who gives back so little. You don’t deserve it; don’t deserve to stay up working on so many assignments; don’t deserve to not have any hobbies; don’t deserve to be so unloved. You are pathetic, but it doesn’t turn him off.
Taehyung is a host too.
He clears his throat at the unexpected stirring emotions in his heart, “What do you love about him? Do you like being treated like shit or something?”
“He doesn’t treat me badly! He is like a light switch, you know? He doesn’t know how to act, sometimes sweet and sometimes… a little mean. I love him for his pure heart, and I believe that we are similar in a lot of ways.”
Taehyung can’t contain his snort. Similar? You are opposites. You are similar to him, not Jungkook. He feels… jealous. The pairing is just so ridiculous and flawed, but you’re neither of the two; you are just good. Taehyung can be good too. “So, what’s your Instagram user?”
The lack of commentary and escalation of the topic catches you off guard. It’s a distraction. “I don’t have an account,” you reply in confusion.
“Wow, I’d expect you to cyberstalk Jungkook on there,” he jokes with a laugh.
“He has an Instagram?”
He purses his lips, his grin faltering as he nods. He takes out his phone from his pocket to show you the account, and holds it in your face. Your lips part as you gently take it from him, curiously inspecting the collage of images. 
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“He plays the guitar?” you ask in awe. You click on each picture to zoom in on them, and your heart jumps upon seeing his selfies while Taehyung hums. He is gorgeous in your eyes, and you want to keep up with his posts in hopes of seeing another selfie. These are hidden gems that Taehyung had the courtesy of providing to you.
“He’s learning,” Taehyung says, “you should sign up and post some pictures as well. You’re really cute.” His cheeky compliment makes you happy; he is basically giving you his blessing! 
“Thank you, and you’re right,” you chirp, “I will make an account after I finish this essay. Want to take a picture with me?”
It’s safe to assume that Jungkook wouldn’t mind you talking to his best friend, so why not expand your social circle? You’ll be more involved with his life this way. Taehyung stammers slightly before agreeing. He switches benches to sit next to you while you rummage through your backpack to find your phone. He finds it strangely endearing how you hold it, using your index finger to swipe between apps to find the camera. It almost stings his heart that you’re so old-schooled in a cute way. Once you angle it above you with your arm stretched out to your left, Taehyung appears to be behind you as he lowers his glasses. You smile brightly into the lens while he cutely puckers his lips. 
Click.
“Are you wearing perfume?” he asks before he can stop himself. Your scent tickles his nostrils sweetly, and he doesn’t know why he’s noticing so much about you or holding a conversation with a woman without being naked. It’s been a hot minute since Taehyung’s had such a platonic interaction, and it shouldn’t feel this nice. He shouldn’t want to continue it through social media either.
“Yes! Do you smell strawberries? I noticed Jungkook eating them before, so I use just about anything strawberry scented. Lotion, shampoo, shower gel…”
He tunes you out as you gush and focuses on the smooth movement of your lips. You’re too good, and Taehyung knows he isn’t the best person but at least he’s not as bad as Jungkook. I shouldn’t think like this… but am I wrong? He will break your heart. What if it’s the right time to intervene to save you from that misery, and be a friend to both of you? He doesn’t want you to fall apart and be completely crushed right in front of his eyes, not when he just witnessed how childishly happy and naive you are. It wouldn’t be fair to you, nor to the life lesson he was taught years ago.
And he then notices that you're wearing strawberry lip balm. 
“Jungkook kis-” -sed someone else before coming to you. You hum and tilt your head at his interruption, waiting for him to finish his sentence. “Jungkook… does love strawberries.”
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Though your work ethics are questionable for how exhausting they are, it gets the job done sooner. The moment you’re assigned a task, you do it, regardless of if it’s yours or Jungkook's. Saturday evening and Sunday are free for you, so you spend your time outside after leaving your backpack in your dorm. You think you look silly, taking pictures of anything you find interesting to post on Instagram. You made an account, but it appears like a bot with its empty feed. Jungkook enjoys doing this, so you want to try it as well. 
You don’t stray far from campus because you’d easily get lost, and your gallery looks boring to you. The only decent photo you have is with Taehyung, but you want to post a picture with Jungkook before anyone else. You grumble under your breath while walking back to the dormitory building. You look through Jungkook’s posts again as you do so with a smile. 
A heavy arm slings over your shoulder and hitches your breath just as the culprit says, “What’s the rush?” He doesn’t even look at you, and you wonder if he recognized you from your clothes after coming up from behind you. 
“Jungkookie!” you cheer excitedly. He glances at you and quirks a brow at the nickname. His eyes then trail to your lit up phone and snatches it from you, which you don’t fight against.
“You’re stalking me?” He scrolls through his profile from your phone and smirks before stating, “I didn’t know you had an Insta.” The both of you enter the building with his arm still wrapped around you, which flutters your heart.
“I made one today, since you use it.” He exits his profile to look at yours. You’re in the elevator as you inform, “Taehyung told me.”
A pause, then a click. Jungkook snapped a photo of you when you pressed the button of your floor. “Pretty,” he comments while looking at your candid shot. You’re flattered and also happy that he’s joining your trip to your dorm. He hasn’t said a word of protest and takes the lead in going to your room. “What else?”
“Hm?”
“What else did he tell you?”
You rack your brain to remember anything significant to tell him. It was a long conversation: getting to know each other and more about Jungkook. “He told me you have an Instagram, then asked for my perfume, and then we talked about your love for strawberries-”
“Your perfume? Why was Instagram even brought up?” he presses, stopping in front of your door. 
You take out your keycard and shrug while swiping, “He asked for mine.”
The dorm is empty when you enter and sit on the edge of your bed. It’s very hard to not grin when you’re around Jungkook, but he doesn’t seem to care as he looks through your gallery. “Can we take a picture together?” you peep hopefully. 
“Of course,” he murmurs absentmindedly, intently staring at your phone. “We’ll take many pictures,” he looks up at you before leveling with the camera, “pose.”
You aren’t very educated on the art of posing per se, so you imitate the peace sign you saw him do with a wide smile and a hand on the bed. He is neutral when he snaps a picture with a shutter. 
“I want you to be in it.”
He drags his eyes away from the screen and his blank expression intimidates you. “Whose idea was it for you to make an account?”
“Um… Taehyung, why?” You lay your hands on your lap at the growing tension.
Taehyung went to this extent to get a reaction out of him? Is it possible that he’s this obnoxious? Or perhaps another motive…?
“I-Is he not your friend?”
Jungkook breaks his silence of thoughts with a scoff, “Oh, only the best.” You sigh in relief, though he says it with menace. Taehyung was curious about his relationship, not about your social media. He forcefully pushes you down on the bed and you hold back a gasp as he wraps his finger around your neck in a light chokehold with a thumb on your nether lip. Click. He then lowers his hand to your thigh, hiding half of it under your skirt with a gentle grap. Click.
Your cheeks flush at the compromising photos he’s taking and you nervously ask, “A-Am I going to post these?”
“Shut up.”
You seal your lips shut and he flips you on your stomach, palming your covered ass with your side profile in the frame, and another shutter resounds in the room. “Sit up.” You follow his command and turn around to face him. He pushes your hair to your back and his mouth latches onto your neck. He’s biting you while sucking on your flesh, and you release a breathy moan at the feeling of his tongue swirling on the sensitive skin. It hurts, but you don’t complain and try to make sense of the growing arousal in your lower region. He only pulls away after half a minute and you’re confused by the satisfied smirk on his face while eyeing the result. He angles your jaw to expose your neck better and snaps another photo. “These are all going on your account.”
At your nod of submission, he starts unbuttoning your shirt. “You’re prettier with a mark. My mark.” Your body tingles at the compliment and you help him undress yourself by unbuttoning the ends. “Take off your skirt,” he demands as he slips off his shirt with ease. All of your clothes go off one by one as he does the same, and you don’t have the time to feel shy as his lips collide so roughly with yours that you’re pressed down against the mattress again. You still haven’t gotten the hang of making out, but it doesn’t matter with Jungkook because although it flows naturally, he also takes complete control over you. He’s not gentle, not with the way his teeth clash against yours and tongue leaving trails of saliva all over your mouth. Your toes curl with desire and anticipation, and you tug at his briefs that outline his erection. The feeling of his warm breath on you silences all your thoughts and you can only react on primal instincts. 
His crotch brushes against your bare folds, slick with your leaking wetness. Kissing him this passionately always leaves you feeling needy, and it embarrasses you that you get turned on so easily. But you don’t realize that is his intention as he glides his fingers all over your labia, making sure you’re ready to take all of him. 
Kissing you this passionately always leaves him feeling horny, and it’s apparent with his cock begging to be taken out of the restraints of his underwear. You don’t know how long you’ve been kissing, but your lips are numb when he pulls away to position himself in your entrance. He doesn’t prepare you, but he doesn’t rush himself either as he painfully slowly enters you. You hold your breath and gawn on your swollen lip, moans catching in your throat and leaving as high-pitched hums. He sighs at the feeling of your pulsating walls. “God… always so tight. Don’t you ever touch yourself?”
He bottoms out and you whimper shakily at how full you are. The fact that he fits you like a puzzle piece convinces you that he’s your forever, your meant to be. Even with your lack of experience with other men, you believe no one can make you feel this dreamy. And to think he’s all yours now… “I-I don’t. I only want to do it with you.”
The atmosphere is so fragile, so romantic. It’s not your delusion this time, because he feels it too and it makes his heartbeat sync with yours: unsteady and rapid. And in the heat of the moment, he reveals, “I think I’m in love with you.”
A whine leaves you, so loud that it can’t be achieved with touch but with his words. It’s the utmost pleasure, and when he realizes what he said, he sets a rushed pace to distract himself from the embarrassment of pouring his feelings. You don’t allow him to forget as you echo, “I’m in love with you too.”
“No, no,” he denies with a shake of his head and it emits more love confessions out of you in a chain of ‘I love you’s, and he grunts, “Stop. Shut up!” He pins your forearms on either side of your head in a bruisening grip and thrusts into you harder. You have no choice but to scream in pleasure, unable to form coherent words when he’s practically fucking your brains out. 
His feelings of humiliation translate to his actions: he pushes himself down to the hilt, throbbing with lust but doesn’t chase his high. He doesn’t want you to talk, not when he’s blushing for more than one reason, so he ignores the contraction of his muscles and just fucks you until he can’t anymore, hypnotized by the bounce of your tits.
Maybe it’s a good thing that he’s so desperate, hitting your most sensitive spot with every thrust and making your eyes screw back. Neither of you can think, so loud and reckless until you reach your climax. It’s core shaking, as you cry out his name and tremble with stimulation. He’s never seen this expression on your face, one so twisted in pleasure and looking so erotic. It comes as a surprise and in the form of a punch in the gut as he savours your appearance before cumming inside you with a groan. A slip-up, a mistake, but he doesn’t care as he paints your walls in white, his load filling you up.
And he can’t regret it when he pulls out, because the drizzle of his cum spilling out of your pussy easily becomes his favorite sight. “Shit,” he whispers as more and more drips while you twitch and spasm from your orgasm. You don’t even realize what he’s done, and that makes his chest swell with pride; the most level-headed woman he knows is leaking with his release and stupidly doesn’t spare it a thought. And with that hickey on your neck? “You look fucking gorgeous,” he exhales. A bashful smile stretches across your face with eyes still tightly shut, and you don’t notice him grab your phone on the other side of the bed to take a picture of your stained pussy. 
“This one is for me,” he mutters to himself. Click.
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After posting the softcore photos on your account and tagging himself in them, as well as a note of a pharmacy’s address across campus with a label written for you to get two separate contraceptives as an emergency and for your next creampie, he leaves your dorm. You fell asleep on him, and though he had wanted to join you, he decided to collect his scrambled thoughts and go to Taehyung’s dorm first. He isn’t livid, but he has a few questions to ask.
He’s playing cards with Yoongi, Taehyung’s roommate, as he patiently waits for his arrival. “What’s wrong about asking for her Instagram, though?” Yoongi asks before drawing out a card of ace. “Isn’t she our friend by association anyway?”
“It’s suspicious,” Jungkook murmurs while inspecting his deck. “Have you ever seen Taehyung with a girl before? As friends? He’s clearly trying to fuck her.”
Yoongi stifles a laugh, “That’s a reach. Besides, you two have shared a girl before. Are you actually dating her?”
Shuffling is heard behind the door until it swings open as Taehyung enters. “Kookie! What are you doing here?” He throws his keycard on his bed before hopping on Yoongi’s to watch their game.
It’s strained, Jungkook notices. His excitement is forced; why? “I came here for you,” he states bluntly. “A little birdie told me you’ve been talking to someone who belongs to me.”
“I didn’t realize she was your diary,” he tries to lighten the mood with a joke. “What’s the deal anyway? You said you weren’t dating her.”
Yoongi collects the deck of cards after Jungkook drops them, and shuffles them while eavesdropping. He’s sitting cross-legged across from Jungkook, and Taehyung is sitting on the edge of the bed next to him with his body turned sideways.
“I also said that unless you have a death wish, don’t talk to her,” he grits. “And asking for her social media? Are you into her now?”
Taehyung merely shrugs. “I thought she was pretty chill. I don’t know why you’re so mad.”
“She obviously means something to him, so I think you should just respect that, Taehyung,” Yoongi voices his thoughts while leafing the cards. Jungkook looks to the side and pokes the inner cheek of his mouth with his tongue but doesn’t argue.
“I think he’s just using her.” Jungkook’s reaction is instant as Taehyung’s nose instantly starts to bleed from the impact of his fist. Yoongi doesn’t look up. He holds a hand over his injury with a hiss and continues, “Really, Kook? A little too much, don’t you think?”
“Less than enough,” Jungkook fumes, “I like her, and she likes me. Just fucking leave it at that.”
“Couple of the year,” Taehyung chuckles mockingly, “I give it two days.” He stands up before Jungkook can hit him again. “Can’t wait to console her after your break-up, maybe she’ll fall in love with me next.”
Jungkook starts chasing him around the room as Taehyung runs without stopping his provocation. “Why so upset Jungkook? Do you see it happening too? I’m already imagining how tight-”
“You should leave, Jungkook.” Neither of them listen to Yoongi, so he yells, “Jungkook, leave!”
A moment of deafening silence passes as both of them pause to catch their breaths. “She’s too sweet,” Taehyung begins, “too kind, too nice, everything you’re not. You wouldn’t be trying to keep me away from her if you didn’t know that. Are you afraid she’ll like me better?”
“Go fuck yourself,” Jungkook spits with a heaving chest. “She’s loyal to me, but I’m sure you’re not familiar with that concept. No wonder your relationships only last one night.” With a final glare, he leaves as told to return to you. The only thing he needs right now is one more ‘I love you’ from you, as much as he hates it. Maybe he’s cruel, but he doesn’t know anyone who isn’t aside from you. 
Maybe Taehyung is just as cruel, fantasizing about all the ways he could be better for you before drifting off to sleep with a bandage over his wounded nose. He can just be a friend to both of you… he can be good too… 
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noodlecupcakeswritings · a month ago
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An Unbreakable Bond - Chapter 9 (Kylo RenxOC)
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Supreme Leader Kylo Ren now has everything he could possibly dream of, except for someone to rule by his side. And he’ll do anything to get Cora back.
The final fic in my Kylo/Cora Star Wars canon series. This is most definitely a TROS fix it fic because fuck that movie and shitty writing.
Please leave likes, comments and reblogs if you like it. If you want to be added to the taglist, please let me know.
Warnings: No Kylo in this chapter (again, sorry guys), Hux being a dick, Language, Plot twists/reveals
Chapter 9
Cora
Over dinner, Kylo and I had talked things through. He’d even apologized for his previous behaviour, which was not like him at all. Maybe he really thought he had lost me. For a time he had, but it seemed seeing him again had reawakened feelings I had pushed aside for a few months as I focused on my training, as I focused on healing. Even when the conversation had turned argumentative, he had stayed mostly calm, as if accepting my annoyance and anger. Perhaps I was wrong, perhaps there was still a piece of Ben alive within him. Perhaps bringing me back here had reawakened that piece of him.
Perhaps I still could save him. Or maybe it was wishful thinking. Maybe I was still a fool for giving into my feelings for him, maybe I was still pathetically weak when it came to him. After dinner we’d had sex again, less rushed, and rough this time. Both of us were starved of the other and took our times, savouring each other’s touch and pleasure. That night we’d slept in each other’s arms, almost like everything had been forgiven. It had been hard to let him go that morning and he made it clear how much he didn’t want to leave, how much he would rather spend the day in bed with me.
After breakfast and a shower, I looked around his quarters for something that could occupy me whilst he was gone. Whilst things were okay between us, I knew leaving his quarters would be a step too far. There was the tell tell sound of the door opening and I wondered if he’d managed to spare five minutes to see me. Going out to the living room to greet him, I was instead met with Hux. Considering he had once tried to kill me, I remained on high alert, knowing better than to trust him. “These aren’t your quarters and I don’t think Kylo will be pleased to know you let yourself in,” I threatened.
Hux seemed indifferent by threat and proceeded to make himself at home, sitting down. “I’m not here to kill you. Sit. There are things we need to discuss,” Hux replied. Hesitantly I approached, sitting opposite him so that there was plenty of distance. “Its nice to see you and Ren have gotten reacquainted with each other so quickly,” Hux smirked, his gaze on my neck. A little embarrassed, I pulled my collar up to try to hide the marks. “Whatever you want to discuss with me, I suggest you get on with it before I throw you out,” I warned.
“Whilst it bothers me to come to you for help, you are the only option I have left.” Raising my brow, I looked at Hux in disbelief. This had to be some kind of weird dream. “Considering how things were left between you and Ren, I figured you would still want some kind of revenge. Help me get rid of him, restore the First Order with me as Supreme Leader and I will let you go,” Hux explained. Silence fell between us before I could no longer contain my laughter. Hux did not look impressed. But what was I supposed to think? This had to be some kind of joke, or he was really that stupid or desperate.
“You can’t be serious,” I said between soft giggles. “Unfortunately, I am. Your beloved Ren isn’t exactly Supreme Leader material, its only a matter of time before he runs this place into the ground and ruins years of hard work. And demoting me has certainly not helped things.” “And you think I care about all this? You think I care about The First Order? You think I care about an organization that murders people and wipes out entire planets? Are you high on spice?” “If he continues to lead us on a downward spiral, it won’t be long before there is a revolt. Before his life is threatened. Or even your life. Is that what you want?”
Okay, now he had a point. But he was a still a fool in thinking I wanted to help better The First Order. He just didn’t need to know my true intentions. “I just want Ben back. If that happens, you won’t have to worry about Kylo Ren anymore. And we will both leave in peace,” I bargained. Hux rolled his eyes at my sentimental streak, “I had a feeling you would say something like that. If that happens, will that convince General Organa to stop sticking her nose in our business?” “Maybe.” “And when this is all over, I have your word that you won’t kill me?” “Luckily for you, Jedi don’t kill.”
“So you’ll arrest me?” “That depends. If you try to doublecross me then yes, I will make sure your punished for your crimes and that the resistance doesn’t stop until everyone one of your men are brought to justice.” “I’d rather go out in a blaze of glory, a better way to be remembered.” That could be arranged. If it meant keeping the galaxy safe. After all, neither of us could fully trust the other. If I got Ben back, I would make sure that The First Order died with Kylo Ren. The galaxy would be safe once more and everyone would be happy. I’m sure Hux was already scheming to have Ben, and I killed if I succeeded. That way there would be nobody to challenge him for the role of Supreme Leader. It was just a case of who betrayed who first.
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Sometime after lunch, I felt a familiar presence through the force. But not familiar enough for me to determine who it was instantly. Meaning it wasn’t Kylo, nor did I expect it to be with how busy he was as Supreme Leader. Closing my eyes, I opened myself up further to the force. “Cora…can you hear me?” Came Varidun’s voice faintly. Whilst it felt good to hear him again, I knew he was likely going to attempt a solo rescue mission. “Yes,” I replied. “Cora, where are you? Have they hurt you?”
“I’m okay, I’m safe…mostly,” I paused. Deep down, regardless of me wanting to keep Varidun safe, I knew no matter how much I protested he was likely already out searching for me and he wouldn’t take no for an answer. “I’m on The Supremacy. Near a planet called Exegol, I think,” I continued. “Hmm, it’s not one I know of. But it shouldn’t be too hard to find you, given both you and Ren are on that ship.” “Varidun, don’t risk your safety and freedom for me. Please. I had to leave to keep you safe.” “You forfeited that when you came to me in the first place. You don’t have to do this on your own.”
Sighing softly, I knew he was right. It was something that had not worked for me previously, I just needed to learn to accept help more often. “Coming from a man who thinks he can take on an entire star destroyer on his own?” I countered. “It wasn’t my plan to, I’m old, not stupid, Cora, The Resistance didn’t want to help.” Whilst I was surprised Varidun had gone to them, I couldn’t help but feel a little deflated at their lack of help. Only Luke and Leia knew who he was, and it was doubtful he’d been allowed close enough to talk to them. “You went to them?” “If you have anyone else in mind, then I’m open to ideas.” “You spoke to Leia? And she refused to help?” I questioned, unable to keep the hurt out of my voice.
“I never even got the chance to see her. The Resistance seems more stuck up than the Empire ever was,” Varidun replied. “A part of the reason I left. But my point is, I don’t want you to be captured and tortured again. I’m working on a plan to put a stop to this.” “Such as?” “Kylo seems...off. As if something’s not right. I can’t do anything until he completely trusts me, but I might be able to talk him down from a few things.” “Are you sure you can actually do that this time?”
Holding back my annoyance at his question, I knew I had a much better chance now. “I can now that he isn’t under Snokes influence any longer. Without Snoke feeding him lies now he’s more likely to listen,” I answered. “It’s still risky, Cora. Theres something there with you, I sense you and Ren, but there’s...something else.” Frowning, I closed my eyes, seeing if I could sense it. But there was nothing. “I can’t feel anything else, well not on the ship at least. But Exegol doesn’t feel right,” I spoke.
“It’s possible what I sense is on Exegol, but it unsettles me. Whatever you’re planning needs to happen soon, I fear we don’t have much time.” “Okay. When he gets back, I’ll talk to him. How far are you?” “I don’t think I’m that far, but if you can leave sooner take it.” And with that, Varidun’s presence was gone. Glancing out the window at Exegol in the distance, I tried once more to search for a presence, but I was likely too far away and too untrained in the force. Making myself comfortable, I took the time to try and think of how to convince Kylo to leave with me, leave everything he’s worked so hard on behind. There was a sinking feeling chest, I knew I had to prepare to leave him behind once more or at least protect Varidun from getting captured.
After a few hours, Varidun’s presence returned, stronger this time. “Cora! You have to get off that ship, I know who the third presence is!” There was obvious fear in his voice, something I’d never heard from him before. If Varidun was afraid, then I was petrified. Taking a deep breath, I prepared myself for the worst. “Who?” I reluctantly asked. “Darth Sidious.” My blood ran cold at the mention of that name, “but that’s impossible. He’s dead.” “The dark lord spent most of his life looking for immortality. I didn’t think he ever succeeded, but there is no mistaking this feeling.”
“Then you have to go back to The Resistance, and you have to talk to Leia no matter what. Regardless of our feelings towards Luke, I know he’ll believe you if the rest don’t,” I urged. “I’ll make them believe. I’ll be back for you,” he promised. Once again, Varidun was gone. As I began to recover from the news, I put two and two together. Kylo had known about this all along, but he had kept it from me so that things would stay good between us. He’d freed himself from Snoke, I couldn’t let him become Palpatine’s puppet. He was due back any minute. And the sooner the better, so I could give him a piece of my mind.
Taglist: @dinlustrous​​​​​​​​​, @sweetsec-93​​​​​​​​, @cltex84​​​​​​​​​, @jana-banana-fana​​​​​​​​​, @neeharlow​
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dialovers-translations · a month ago
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DIABOLIK LOVERS DAYLIGHT Vol. 1 Sakamaki Ayato [Track 2]
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Original title: 夜の湖
Source: Diabolik Lovers Daylight Vol. 1 Sakamaki Ayato
Audio: Here
Seiyuu: Midorikawa Hikaru
Translator’s note: If there’s one thing Rejet knows to do with these CDs, it’s keeping us on the edge of our seats! The final bit of this CD was actual one of the voice samples released prior to its release and I remember being extremely intrigued by it back then! Even while listening to the actual CD, it got me super curious and I couldn’t wait to listen to the next track to find out what is going on with the MC.
Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 + Epilogue
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Track 2: The Lake at Night
The two of you are walking through the forest until you eventually reach the lake.
“...Is this the place you’ve been dyin’ to visit? It’s just a regular old lake, no? There’s seriously nothin’ special ‘bout it at all...It was stupid of me to even expect anythin’ from you in the first place.”
You explain.
“Haahー!? The sunrise...? ...Don’t tell me you want to stay here until dawn!?”
You nod.
“You’ve gotta be shittin’ me. Do you even know how much time’s left till sunrise!? ...See you.”
Ayato tries to leave but you quickly stop him, insisting you can chat till the sun rises.
*Rustle*
“What? Don’t give me that nonsense! Why did we need to come all the way over here just to have a chat? We can just talk at home!”
You shake your head.
“Haah? There’s other people around then? ...Oh. In other words, you wanted an excuse to be all alone with me?”
You elaborate on your idea.
“A quiet time, huh...? I thought you liked things to be lively though. Well, I won’t deny those dudes are hella annoyin’. I turn my back for one second and they try to make a move on you. I’ll admit we can never truly feel at ease in that kinda environment.”
He plops down on the grass.
“...There we go. ...Oi, hurry up and lend me your lap already. You don’t expect me to get comfortable without a pillow, right?
You take a seat next to him as he rests his head in your lap.
*Rustle rustle*
“...Hmph.”
You smile and admit enjoying these times together. 
“...It’s nice to sit back and relax at times, huh? Damn, you really sounded like a granny just now. I don’t understand. This is just dull, you might as well be dead. ...I mean, you humans have a limited lifespan, right? Then doesn’t this feel like a waste? Isn’t it normal to want to enjoy yourself, maybe have some good food or something? ...Well, I’m a Vampire and immortal so I don’t really care either way.”
You explain.
“Hmph. If you like this, then whatever. You’re so easy to please. (1) But don’t come complaining to me afterwards.”
You chuckle. 
“Don’t laugh, geez. ...Actually, you’ve been actin’ kinda off. Like you’re in bad shape...or lackin’ energy. Did you eat somethin’ which had gone bad or somethin’?”
You retaliate.
“I wonder. Hehehe...Well, seems like you still have the energy to talk back at least. ...By the way, you remember the promise we made, right? I told you I’d suck your blood if you failed to entertain me, didn’t I?”
You flinch.
“Look at that pathetic look on your face. Did you think I had forgotten?”
You try and bribe him with the lap pillow. 
“Hmph. You’ll stay like this a lil’ longer? All you’re doing is lending me your lap though? You haven’t been tellin’ me any interestin’ stories either. ...Are you perhaps teasin’ me on purpose?”
You quickly shake your head.
“In that case, it makes sense.”
You frantically flail with your arms while trying to explain yourself. 
“Hehe...Hehehe...No need to get so desperate trying to deny it. Your funny expression is only becomin’ even more hilarious. I’ll content myself with that for now and leave the real fun for later. Guess you should be grateful to your own face.”
You say thank you.
“...Aah? Why would you thank me for that? Lemme tell you, but I prefer suckin’ your blood after scarin’ the livin’ hell out of you. It’s just not the time for that yet, that’s all. Heh!”
The wind blows in the background.
“...For real though, what are you gonna do ‘bout this depressin’ mood? You should take some responsibility and talk to me. Anythin’ will do at this point. You wanted to enjoy some idle talk, right? Come on.”
You bring up the past.
“What? Our first meeting? You really think I remember all of that? ...Ahー But if I recall correctly...I was nappin’ in the living room while the thunder roared outside...Right! I was woken up because you made a huge fuss.”
You tell him you were truly shocked back then.
“Haha...You mistook me for a dead person, didn’t you? Goin’ on ‘bout callin’ an ambulance or some shit. Bit of an overreaction, don’t you think? Yours Truly doesn’t just die! 
Well, I doubt you knew we were Vampires at that point. I was hella thirsty back then, so when an energetic-looking prey walked right up to me, I obviously had to go straight for a bite. Yet, that damn Four-Eyes had the nerve to get in my way!”
You tell him you nearly forgot about that.
“Excuse me? Don’t be forgettin’ ‘bout that when you’re the one who brought up this topic!”
You admit to being surprised Ayato recalls so much.
“I remember plenty of other things as well! You better don’t underestimate my memory! ...Actually, why don’t I help you remember a few more embarrassing moments? No need to be modest. Whatcha so afraid of?”
You flinch.
“Hehe...Are you scared of me?”
You hesitate.
“What? If you’ve got somethin’ to say, then spit it out.”
You explain.
“What do you mean you’re no longer scared of me like you were at first? You flinched just now!”
You frown.
“Why can’t you put it into words well? Don’t tell me you’re makin’ fun of me?”
You shake your head.
“Then what is it?”
You try and put your feelings into words. 
“Haah!? I don’t understand what you mean with ‘because we understand each other now’. Geez. ...But well, there’s a few things I learnt through living together with you as well, I guess. Humans are weak. They die so easily. They’ve got a limited life span as well. ...That’s not all. They love to fuss ‘bout the details and they’re so infuriatingly slow and clumsy. They get upset over the most trivial things or cry over nothing. Also...Sometimes the strangest things make them happy. Furthermore, they’d go through the trouble of comin’ to these kinda places. Ahー What a drag.”
You thank Ayato for keeping up with you. 
“Che...Why are you thanking me now? I really don’t understand that sorta behavior of yours. Fuck.”
You ask if he would like to head back soon. 
“Aah...? What do you mean ‘soon’? Of course I want to head home already! ...But well, you still want to stay here a lil’ longer, right? ...Just the two of us.”
You nod.
“Oh? You’re bein’ surprisingly honest. Do you want to be with me that badly?”
You nod again.
“Heh. You just said you want to be together forever, huh? Fool. You really think I’d let you go? You can no longer leave me. ...Not ever.”
You suddenly frown.
“What? Got a problem with that?”
You quickly turn your head and try to make excuses. 
“No point in tryin’ to hide it. You’re an open book after all. ...Don’t tell me you actually believe you could get away from me?”
You shake your head.
“If that’s not it, then don’t look so damn anxious. ...Heh. Actually, I bet you were thinking that you can’t live forever?”
Your eyes widen in surprise before you ask him how he knows.
“Heh. I know everything that goes on in that head of yours. ...Don’t be worryin’ about those kind of stupid things. Did you drag me all the way out here to talk ‘bout that shit? ...You didn’t, right? Pretty sure I told you to entertain me.”
Ayato suddenly pins you down.
*Thud*
“I bet you’re rackin’ your brain over complicated shit again? Good job gettin’ yourself pinned down. ...Just so you know, there’s no point in tryin’ to cover it up. Even if you keep quiet, I can tell by lookin’ in your eyes. Che...! I should just be the only thing on your mind. Well, I’ll just force myself inside your head if I need to. ...I’ll make it so you can’t worry about anything unnecessary.”
*Sluuuuurp*
“Mmh...”
*Sluuuuurp*
“I’m not lettin’ you go any time soon...So brace yourself.”
*Sluuuuurp*
“Nnh...”
*Sluuuuurp*
“...Hah. Come on. Sit up already. Don’t you understand? I’m givin’ you special permission to sit down on my lap. Hurry up...”
*Rustle rustle*
“Say…Doin’ this doesn’t feel half bad, does it? …Just admit it.”
*Sluuuuurp*
"Come on. Don’t close your eyes. Make sure to watch…how you’re bein’ turned into a mess.”
*Sluuuuurp*
"Hehehe…Seems like you’re ‘bout to lose it from sheer excitement. Show me more of that expression.”
*Sluuuuurp*
"Don’t you dare let the other guys see you like this.”
You whimper.
“Listen up. You’re fated to continue havin’ your blood sucked by me like this. Both now and in the future. Foreverーー”
You nod.
“Heh. Glad you understand.”
Ayato gets up and wipes some dirt off his pants.
“…Woah. The wind has picked up. …Oi, we should probably head home soon. I don’t want to get nagged at later.”
You remain unmoved.
“Come on. Get up already. Or has your back thrown out? …Guess you leave me no other choice.”
*Rustle*
“Come on. Gimme your hand. …Hah? What’s wrong? Grab it already.”
You shake your head.
“Oi, there really is somethin’ off ‘bout you? Come on.”
Ayato grabs your hand.
“…Eh? Doesn’t your hand…feel colder than usual? What’s wrong, for real? …Can’t you hear me? Oi! …Idiot! Don’t close your eyes! Answer me! Chichinashi!!
ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー
Translation notes
(1) Ayato calls her 無欲 or ‘muyoku’, which is used to describe someone who is free from any ‘worldly desires’. 
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deafwestnewsies · a month ago
Text
be my first last kiss
You can plan on a change in the weather or time, but you'd never planned on him changing his mind.
jack kelly x davey jacobs
read it on my ao3!
Earnest to goodness, Jack Kelly was going to murder Racetrack Higgins.
No, Anthony Higgins, this was the sort of thing that makes you pull out the tarnished christian name of a friend (or so you thought) you’ve known since he was toppling over on baby-fattened legs. Anthony Higgins would die by the sword of Jack Kelly.
He just had to get this godforsaken Youtube video filmed first.
You’re doing this for the cash, Jack grumbled to himself as he passed through the metal doors of a nondescript building on the Lower East Side- it was the kind of place being slowly taken over by hip and fun corporations promising Asian-fusion bars and eco-friendly thrift stores while edging out the relic businesses built on the backs of immigrant dreams. Jack couldn’t stand areas like this, the air thick with wasted luxury, so he rarely left the barrio. Why would he? Spot Conlon slept in the bedroom next to his. Katherine Plumber and Sarah Jacobs ran the bookstore that bought his baked goods and sold them for decent money. Medda lived down the street with her plethora of children, and Racetrack still beat the known path, doing tricks on the street corner for spare change and internet views. Davey- David. David Jacobs wasn’t there. It was right where Jack wanted to be.
Much unlike the dim studio where he now shuffled his feet, waiting for the perky young PA with bright red streaks in her hair to come back with further information about the video he would be shooting. Jack wasn’t a stranger to this small production company; He participated in a few Youtube videos back before they had millions of subscribers, he played truth or dare with lots of liquor and a complete stranger, he confessed about the first time he fell in love so it could be put to pathetic music.
Cash where you could get it, right?
“Kelly, right?” Cherry Streaks was back with a vengeance.
“Jack, actually,” he corrected.
“So you’re going to stand over there where the little blue X marks the spot and wait until the producer, Adam, starts asking you a few questions. The first one might be a test for our boom guy. Answer honestly, we can pretty much tell when you’re making up a story by this point. After that, the main part of the video will begin. Got it?” She was pointing wildly with a Number 2 pencil that had previously been stuck through her ponytail, and she smelled faintly of jasmine. Jack felt dizzy.
“Wait, I thought this was one of those ‘Choose who’s the best kisser out of ten strangers’ type of deal?” I mean, that’s what Race told me- oh God. Oh Santa Maria. Oh Saint Francis.
The young woman smiled like she was keeping an excellent secret. “Have fun, Jack Kelly.”
Walking off at her ominous dismissal, Jack stood where he was directed. The fluorescent lighting made him sweat under the knowledge that he had virtually no idea what he was doing there, Race had lied to him so that he would participate in some sort of sick, horrible scheme, and for all he knew, behind door number three could be his third grade teacher with a baseball bat and a basic multiplication grudge.
“Jack! It’s nice to see you again.”
Romeo was walking towards him with that easy gait Jack had memorized so long ago- Romeo had shot the original videos on an Amazon tripod and the unfounded hope of human connection, and now he owned the entire shebang. Jack dropped his tense shoulders to give him a warm smile. “Romeo. Boy, am I glad to see a friendly face.” Jack lowered his voice to a stage whisper. “You’ve got a production assistant who actually does work, so I’m assuming we’ve died and you earned a really nice deal in Heaven?”
Romeo barked out a laugh. “If I’ve died, do not resuscitate. I’ll never be able to look at another bodega meatball sub after cooking food bought in a real grocery store.”
“Rub it in, why don’tcha?” Jack punched the shorter man on the shoulder. “Listen, Romeo, you gotta tell me what I’m in for, a buddy totally sold me out for the cash and I have no clue what this project is gonna be like.”
Before Romeo could respond, a tall, lofty man behind the camera cleared his throat. “Darling? We’re ready to begin when you are.”
“Jack, meet Specs. Or Adam, but we all know how well nicknames stick. Specs, this is the old friend I was telling you about.” Romeo ended right above Specs’ elbow, and it was all Jack could do not to laugh.
The man fixed his thoughtful gaze on him. “It’s nice to meet you, Jack. You’ve got a real presence on the camera. Have you ever considered acting?”
“I’m afraid I’m, uh,” Jack flexed a paint-stained hand. “Strictly canvas, as they say.”
Nodding as if that was a phrase people commonly used and not something Jack invented on the fly, Specs then clapped his hands together. “Folks, let’s film this sonofabitch.”
---
“I’m Jack, and I’m a twenty-four year old artist living in New York City.”
“Have you ever been in a relationship?” Specs questioned from behind the camera.
Jack blinked in surprise. “Sure. One throughout high school, another in college and a little bit beyond. I wouldn’t call myself a heartbreaker or anything.”
“Do you stay friends with your exes?”
“One of ‘em, yea. It was more of an amicable thing, you know. She ended up being a lesbian. And I am… not.” His clumsy fingers tugged at a constricting collar.
“And the other?”
“Just because I’m not a heartbreaker doesn’t mean I can’t be a real asshole sometimes,” Jack nervously chuckled. (Davey had laid out rose petals, for God’s sake. Rose petals.)
“Was this girl the high school girlfriend, or the college one?”
“Boy,” Jack quickly corrected. “Man. I guess. He was in college- four and a half years.” (It took him four days to clear away the rotting flowers, the bleeding color slowly seeping into his carpet. Katherine found him delirious with whiskey on the bathroom floor; Sarah couldn’t bear to walk through his front door.)
“How’d you meet him?”
(He twisted in his high-backed blue chair. “It’s habláis in el presente.”) “Freshman year of high school actually. Spanish class. Funny story, actually, that other girl I dated? His sister. Broke her heart for his. He was so mad at me that we didn’t talk for like, months after.”
“It was six and a half months, actually.”
Of things Jack was expecting to see today, Spiderman was more likely than David. A flash mob singing death metal, maybe. Pigs flying through the polluted air.
“I was told to come in. I now see why.” David’s eyes narrowed behind his thin wire frames, different from the heavy Ray-Bans that he had dedicated himself to sophomore year of high school. Jack hated that he looked older, wiser, and all around… better.
Specs cleared his throat before the bewildered set of men (one more angry than the other, both desperately avoiding eye contact) could demand what sort of sick joke this was. “Can you introduce yourself?”
They broke up on a Tuesday, an insignificant, momentary Tuesday. Fourteen months ago. (Yes, fourteen months, like their terrible split was a baby that Jack was nurturing bit by bit. He refused to round down- fourteen months ago, he left David Jacobs.) So when David ran his thumb across his jawline, a nervous tick older than his younger brother, Jack couldn’t fathom why he felt so relieved. Some things never did change. “David. Jacobs.” David’s jaw flexed as he looked into the camera. “I dated Jack for almost five years.”
“Tell us about your other relationships.”
“Unfortunately, I spent the better part of high school and college pining after a total cocksock. Not a whole lot of time for casual dating in between.”
A deep silence permeated the studio as two boom mic operators swapped awkward glances. Jack didn’t attempt to defend himself- he was sort of a cocksock. David Jacobs had asked him to uproot what little life he had in New York and move to Santa Fe for a prestigious, so-accolated-you-could-cry medical school, and Jack Kelly broke up with him over containers of kung pao chicken and scattered rose petals. He was a cocksock, a dickhead, and complete asshole. An ex-boyfriend of mass proportions.
“Okay, so.” Specs was wiping at his glasses with the tail of his shirt. Jack wanted to snap them in half. “Today’s video is entitled ‘Exes kiss for the first time since their breakup’. If you need more explanation…”
“I think we’ve got it.” David snapped, clenching his fists rapidly.
Jack stepped half an inch closer to David and began murmuring under his breath. “Davey, if you don’t want-”
“Don’t call me Davey.” His eyes were alight with flame- Jack’s chest caught fire.
Of all the things that felt domestic when dating Davey Jacobs, kissing him never managed to become routine. Davey kissed like he earnestly meant it. The gears in his brilliant mind would grind to a halt so he could dedicate himself to the lilting curve of Jack’s mouth, a gentle sweep of warmth when the artist’s mouth was otherwise preoccupied with his needless words, and the world would spin on a delicate axis. (Jack’s shoulders rose to meet Davey, the physical ache of being someone’s other half drawing him forward. Davey had avoided him for so long, Jack living on a diet of lingering stares and a brief touch of the hand, that kissing him felt like a dying man knelt at a replenished well. How did they exist for so long without this innate knowledge of the universe? Could he stand to go on a single second longer without the praise of Davey Jacob’s lips?) Of all the things Jack missed about spending his life with Davey Jacobs, kissing him was certainly one of them.
There was a moment where the pads of Jack’s fingertips brushed the nape of David’s neck, a habit borne from the small noise it would draw from the back of his throat, and the steely corporate floor felt more like the worn carpet in the old thirty-second street apartment. Jack could feel his thready pulse with the gentle press of a thumb.
Davey was a fan of the dramatics- he would pull away from a passionate kiss in the middle of a busy New York street to stare into Jack’s eyes, foreheads gently touching and cheeks furiously blushing. Now, he simply drew back. Took a step away. Swiped at his lips with the back of his hand.
Jack felt like he was falling. (“If you ever break up with me,” Jack began. He laughed at Davey’s unexpected shudder, the honest and visceral kind. “Make it quick.”
“What about when you break up with me?” Davey peered over his glasses.
Crinkling his nose, Jack quickly answered before the other boy could detail any breakup preferences. “I’m not an idiot, Dave. ‘M not going anywhere.”)
---
He stared at the limp fifty dollars in his hand. Romeo had apologized, explaining that the people who had organized this got half the cut, and handed them both an envelope- Jack, one with “Tony Higgins” that he planned to run through his shredder, and David, one with “Sarah Jacobs,” which made Jack gawk in disbelief.
Jack didn’t want to walk away; David’s feet were shuffling against the worn pavement.
“It’s funny,” David started. “I listened to a lot of Taylor Swift to get over you.”
He winced. “Sorry?”
“Please. I know she’s been your top artist since 2013.”
(Katherine walked through a worryingly unlocked apartment door. “Is that... Begin Again? Jack, what the fuck are you doing?” She had seconds to worry about the cluster of wilted flower petals her heel had put a hole through before Sarah pointed at the pair of legs sticking out of the bathroom’s entrance.) “Yeah, okay. Fair. But… funny? Did I miss a joke?”
David closed his eyes to roll them, as he so often did when he was trying to be polite, and it hurt to be on the receiving end. “We just had our last kiss. You know, like-”
“I’m Joe Jonas?” Jack interrupted, bewildered. The semi-glare he received in return was all he needed to know- “Right. Dickhead. Listen, Dave- David, why didn’t you tell me you were back in town?”
There was a brief moment where something unrecognizable flashed over David’s face- pity? Regret? Dejection? It was quickly replaced by a soft smile tugging at the edge of his lips, his eyes glazed over with a practiced professionalism. “I’ll see you around, Jack. Have a good day.”
David turned and walked down the street, and Jack just missed the passing moment he chose to look back.
---
Comment on EXES KISS FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE THEIR BREAKUP by IncredibleKinsey: those two dudes are all mad and then just make out like that????? yeah okay call me when the wedding happens
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rose7420 · 2 months ago
Text
Words Can Hurt
A request from @lokiismyhubby! Hope you like it!
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Hello!! Can you write a story where Loki is friends with a tiny girl who loves hanging out with him? Wherever Loki is, Y/n is always with him. Loki loves the girl to death, but he also loves acting like she’s bothering him. Whenever she talks to him, he always acts like he’s annoyed, says things like, “Why must you talk to me all the time?”, or "Can't you find something to do rather than talk to me?" (Idk, anything that has to deal with her hanging around him a lot😂), he sighs like he’s irritated, and even rolls his eyes. Deep down, Loki adores his small friend, but he goes too far with the annoyed expressions and remarks, resulting in hurting her feelings, and making her cry. She could run towards the wall crying because she thinks that Loki doesn't want to be her friend anymore, but he grabs her (kind of rough but it's by accident only cause he doesn't want to lose her as a friend) and she becomes afraid of him.
Y/N lay on the undulating platform of Loki’s chest. The gentle ins and outs of his breathing rocking her slightly. Asleep and dead to the world, light snores escaped his lips causing Y/N to grin even wider. She read a book, skimming the pages relishing the calm scent of the battered paperback. A change in his breathing rhythm alerted her that he was awake. 
“Don’t you have anywhere else to be?” He teased feeling the slight weight upon his chest.
A rush of pain shot through her chest from the tease. She actually didn’t have anywhere else to go. Loki was all she had, all she wanted. She drew her knees up to her chest as if she could block out all the negativity, forgetting about her book.
Loki thinks you’re pathetic.
Practically nothing.
She shut down her intrusive thoughts shaking her head. 
“You’re funny Loki. But you know I love spending time with you.” She admitted walking towards his face. 
He poked her stomach, a very ticklish spot. She immediately fell down to her knees in laughter, pushing his finger away with no result. 
He relented his teasing, seeing how tired she had made herself. 
She reached his chin, as he was still lying down it was easy to grasp and pull herself onto. 
“Oh yes, very daunting Little One, whatever shall you do now?”
She laughed completely forgetting about her previous doubts and focusing on the mischief that was at hand. 
Later that day Loki and Y/N sat on the floor rearranging his books upon the shelves. He had gotten tired of how they looked originally and decided to change the setting. Of course, Y/N was too small to help but she sat upon Loki’s shoulder talking passionately of the books she adored. Loki picked up a rather heavy volume placing it upon the shelf, as he bent down Y/N held tightly to his shirt collar preventing her from a fatal fall.
“Mercy child, do you ever stop blathering on?” Loki teased. 
Sharp pain stabbed through her chest, her breath becoming thin. He didn’t relent his efforts.
“Don’t you ever stop speaking?” 
Unwanted tears escaped her eyes. She remembered her mother saying the same words to her at what felt like ages. But truly was only a year ago.
“Don’t you ever stop speaking?” Her mother turned around and yelled as they were folding linens. Y/N had been rambling on about her favorite author and how they wrote so beautifully. She shrunk back from the harsh words of her mother. 
“I’m sorry Mama.” Y/N softy said with tightness in her chest. The only one who would ever have listened to her go on for ages was her Papa. He had died a year ago. Books were the only thing that truly brung her happiness. 
“No more books y/n, I mean it. You should be borrowing more often winter months are coming. Now get to work.” Winter months meant the humans stayed inside longer, making it harder for borrowers to gather supplies. 
The next day she came back from a borrowing trip to find all her books gone. She rushed to Mama, in a panic. 
“Mama, Mama where are my books?” Mama reached up for a can in the cupboard; sparing her no glance as she said, “I got rid of them.” Y/N slowly walked back to her room to stare at the empty box where her books once sat. Her last remembrance of Papa as he had stolen each and every one of them for her when he came across a miniaturized one. 
She felt empty.
Truly, desperately alone.
She cried herself to sleep that night.
She slid down Loki’s arm ungracefully, stumbling across the floor to get to a safe, non-vulnerable place. 
“Y/N?” Loki’s voice called, not feeling her tiny weight upon his shoulder any longer. She began running as fast as she could to evade his approaching form. 
“Y/N! Where are you going? Come back this instance!” His voice was demanding and loud. 
She refused but that didn’t prevent him from getting what he wanted.
A rough, heavy hand pounded before her stopping her instantly. She was caught in his grasp unable to overpower just his fingers.
She was so weak, unimportant...so flawed. Why would a powerful being such as Loki even want her if her mother had thrown her out by her lonesome.
Loki’s grip became tighter and tighter, unrelenting. Her lungs were crushed, unable to expand in order to breathe fresh air in. 
“Loki…” She wheezed pathetically in a last attempt to persuade him to loosen his deadly grip. Black coated her vision, her arms went slack draped over his comparatively large knuckles. 
Darker
Darker
The night sky waited to welcome her with gloomy arms.
And then, breath.
Oh, how thankful she was for the expansion of her lungs and the clearness of her sight. 
“Are you okay Y/N?” She heard a voice faintly. 
“Y/N?” She was held up to those emerald eyes, boring into her very soul.
“I-I can’t believe I hurt you. I’m so sorry.”
He carried her in a flat palm to deposit her onto the tabletop. The cool wood was a refreshed feeling against her battered body. She lie there taking deep breaths, worried air would escape her grasp again. 
A finger brushed her arm. She flinched away. The appendage retreated. 
Loki watched his tiny friend lay limp on the table. Her chest rising and falling rapidly with desperate breaths. He brushed his fingers over where her tiny fists had hit his knuckles with an anguished release. 
He hadn’t even known he was holding her so tightly. He reached a tentative fingertip out to brush her arm and she flinched back. He did too from the obvious rejection. 
He waited patiently for her to regain her awareness. 
She spoke without any encouragement from him. 
“I don’t like it when you tease me. It makes me feel unwanted and not appreciated. If that’s how you really feel then I’ll go, but if not..” She couldn't finish the rest of the sentence, her voice thick with tears. 
An enormous ache of guilt ran through Loki’s heart.
“I meant no harm to you Little One, I will stop the teasing. And I do want you around, please do not feel unwanted.”
“I know I can ramble a lot and it’s annoying, so I’ll do my best to stop.” She wrung her little hands together. 
“Absolutely not,” Loki ordered. “Do not change who you are because of my unkind comments. I want to hear all about what interests you, and what you are passionate about.” He reached out a gentle finger to nudge her back. She whimpered. He pulled back immediately.
“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that,” Loki said with guilt.
She quickly shook her head, “No, no that’s fine its just… my mother used to tell me to be quiet too. She didn’t care about what I liked.”
Loki listened attentively to her past, his heart wrenching with pain with all she had suffered through.
He slowly reached forward to cradle her in his palms, pressing her gently to his chest.
“Shhh, my Little Dove. I’m here and I will always be here. I will never take anything of yours nor leave you by yourself.” He felt tiny fists through the fabric of his shirt as she held to him tightly. 
He pulled her away from his chest, holding her level with his eyes, “We are a team, you and I, we stick together.”
She smiled a smile that warmed his heart tremendously and held out her fist. 
“What is this Little One?” He questioned unfamiliar with the gesture.
“Hold out your fist,” she squeaked. And so he did and laughed when her pinprick of a fist bumped into his middle finger. 
“Come on cowboy we got books to sort.” She commanded with a bit of sass. 
He obliged. 
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solofelt · 2 months ago
Text
I (17M) feel like I'm a terrible person and I despise myself. I really want to be better before it's too late.
(This is a throwaway account, just in case, pretty much posting this thing in every self improvement subreddit out of desperation)
I am a 17 year old from Chile. I struggle a lot with just existing and the worst part is feeling like I have no reasons for it. In some way, this post is an essay as not only am I begging for advice at this point; I also want to reread this at some point when I feel different to understand myself. I'll try to put everything by itself with paragraphs while also relating things I consider go alongside each other. Sorry if there is any typo as english is not my main language, and also, sorry if this post feels like a long ass ridiculous pity parade. You can ignore it if you like. That's perfectly ok. It's also disguntingly long and I say too many personal things.
Since I have memory I've disliked myself with way too much of my energy. It's weird because at times I feel like I have a lot of ego (I translate any way of self-love as ego, so who knows, but I still find it to be a weird trait), but it just comes off when I'm completely alone. They are moments where I stand in front of a mirror, imagine scenarios of me doing great in things I like and people reacting to that in full detail. I talk a lot with myself since always. But at the same time I have a lot of self-hatred, which has led me to self-injury and self-sabotaging many times. Never cuts or anything, but I'm almost 100% confident I once gave myself a concussion from hitting myself in the head really hard, which was my most common torture for around 2-3 years, and something I still relapse on. Self-sabotaging comes as me ruining every positive feeling I have by insulting myself, feeling like I do not deserve eating, sleeping, friendships, respect or love. Having anxiety doesn't help, because I never forget the mistakes I make, and they end up working as punishment for whenever I feel like deserving it. But I don't want to talk about my anxiety that much as I feel like it might not be that terrible and there's people with more severe anxiety than me. Maybe I'm just way too afraid of everything.
This is something I'm always scared of talking about, but since this is a throwaway account I guess I can mention it: I come from a really comfortable family. I live with my mom and my aunt. My mom has a good job and I'm doing high school in a private school. My aunt pretty much raised me, as she stays home (she's an angel on earth, I'd be nothing without her), but my mom has given every part of herself for me to have a good life. We had money issues in the past, sure, everyone does, but now that's not an issue. In some way, I feel like that background has made me more of a coward than I already am, as I feel like having that safety in life just brings me a higher quality of misery and my issues don't mean shit because there are people going through worse things than me. I have a kind of respect for people with a different background than me. It's like people that have less money are immediately superior and I must perish if I ever question them. And I don't think that in a "oh poor people :(" way, I just feel like their lives are more real than mine. I also have a lot of free time, and instead of using it in growing, I use it in falling into my excesses and my addictions. I'm really introverted, but I do a good job at acting extroverted, and that has started to take its toll in my life. Because, while acting social and meeting new people, deep inside, I know that's not the real me talking.
My mom had drug problems when I was 11, and instead of being next to her and trying to help her to overcome it, I felt bad and started seeing her as someone I just didn't know anymore. It took me years to come to senses with that, and I still have issues seeing her as my mom at times. But she doesn't deserve that, she deserves a lot better.
I'm convinced I've been addicted to porn and masturbation since age 11 (I've tried leaving it hundres of times without any success because of my lack of will and my need of more), cigarettes since 16 (I get unease when I don't smoke for a while) and I smoke way too much pot, which I really feel like it has hit me with its secondary effects, like bad memory or lack of concentration. My porn addiction and my incapability of completely honest social interaction has made my relationships pathetic, as I can't have a friend without thinking about their looks. No matter if it's a boy or a girl. This led me to notice how empty some of my relationships were and how I've asked things from people I never gave something in exchange. It's really hard for me to face my problems, and I feel like I'm a very toxic human being, so lately I decided to cut my list of relationships to people I really feel like I do love and care about, without any filters. And while that decision was initially made for my health, I now feel like I'm just whining and playing the nihilist and I just let down a lot of people who would call me a friend. All of this together just makes me want to get punched.
To mention some other shitty parts of myself really quickly: I'm very lethargic, I spend more time listening to music and in my other interests than anything else (I mean this in the least cool way possible), I have a hard time forgiving people but can't live without forgiveness, I was a really annoying child, I don't put much effort in school even when it's my only damn responsibility and I've used my anxiety and my internal issues as reasons (or should I say excuses) to not do things I should be doing (school, for example). I'm weak, sedentary and sleep way too much or way too little. I'm really useless for more adult things and I'm just months away from becoming an adult. Whenever I do some chore or something I'm just helping. My hair is falling and I'll probably be disgusting to look at in a few years. Every single task overwhelms me.
"B" is a really important person in my life. I won't say their name, just "B". We met in 2015, had the most pure and cute relationship in 2017 (when we were just 13), but I broke up with them and after that, their life went to absolute shit; as they met a really sick adult who tried to distort and pervert their reality, had to cope with bullying without who they has told me many times was her biggest safe place at the time (me) and tried suicide. I don't think I'll ever come to peace with that choice as I feel guilty for all that suffering. Still, that relationship meant the world to them, even when it lasted just 3 months. Next years involved us meeting again, being friends, starting new relationships each, me (being an asshole) cutting contact with her as my gf at the time was jealous of them for being my ex, both relationships going to shit. We met again, then, started a 1 year and a half long relationship that was full of youthful energy, sex and rock and roll. That relationship was the most important thing in my life and I just wanted it to grow, but "B" didn't enjoy it that much, as we fought a lot, made lots of mistakes and it didn't feel as special and genuine as the one we had in 2017. I completely justify those views they have, and it has made me start forgetting about the relationship. What if it really was that empty? It's surreal to revisit it that way when it felt so special. Maybe I was just ruining it without noticing.
"B" has had a really hard life, and has severe mental and health struggles which took me 6 FUCKING YEARS to realize how important they were. I now feel like I wasn't willing to be with someone like that and just let the situations break me instead of fighting for what I called true love. Episodes I once saw as mishaps are now moments I wish I had endured in a more mature way. Whenever I talked about changing, "B" would just sigh. I'm tiring.
For a long time, I was a winner in life. Mostly 2019 and 2020. I have a music project that was doing great with online festivals. We were part of this "new wave" of artists from where I am and I was ridiculously excited of participating in the music scene. I love music and it felt like the first step of sharing inside the world I love. I had a big lot of friends, people who enjoyed and supported the project too. I was growing as a local character, getting ready for future plans. But then I came to senses and felt like I didn't deserve anything of that. My songs were dishonest and pretentious trash, I was trash, and while I was living the life, "B" was all by themselves. I just kinda forgot about them with the argument that our relationship harmed me (which at some point it did, but I won't justify any of that) and I wanted to be lonely for a while, but fucking hypocrite talks about being lonely while talking to random new people about his stupid ass music project. I realized what they were going through and I couldn't believe how much I fucked up (Fuck, I wish I could stop writing "I", I'm not the important person in this situation). We fought a lot about that, and things apparently were coming to an end between us, but after a while, we started talking some more at peace, and remembered that first relationship from 2017. Just now I realized how special it was, remembered how it made me feel and I can't think of it without my eyes getting wet now. I hate how long it took but I want those days back so hard, yet I don't deserve them at this point. I don't even deserve talking to "B" at peace. They have so much patience.
After all of those awful things I just wrote, I'm really coming to senses with myself. And it may sound false, because yeah, you just read about me being a total jackass whose best input to life would be just shutting the fuck up, but I really want to change, I don't want to be this. I know how wrong I am and I'm getting obsessed with it, but what if I can actually change? Because if it's that way, I'm done with failing people I love, failing myself and facing no real consequences. I'm human and I have a dark side I have to embrace and overcome.
I just realized how important and valuable it is to just study. It is my one responsibilty as I mentioned, and I really want to take it seriously as this is my last school year. If that seriousness is there, I want to translate it into work.
My family, while not 100% supportive with it, will let me follow my dreams with the condition of going to college, and I'll do that too, and put my best effort so they can be at peace with it. I also want to grow up, learn how to be an adult and work, so I don't depend on my family and I can learn one or two things about real life.
I want to take care of my health and my addictions. I don't want to carry on harming myself. There's a chance I don't deserve all that punishment and the first step might be realising it. And also, I'm aware I need psychological assistance, I just don't want to be a burden for my mom anymore by asking her for it.
I want to take care of my relationships as well. There are friends I consider real, and they are just a few, but that's more than enough. Life gave me fantastic people, why'd I ask for more? I just have a hard time thinking about how I'll improve that aspect, but I really want to. I want to start looking at people in the eye, not at their bodies.
I want to stop whining about my self-hatred. For that, I want to use music as a kind of therapy. Writing helps me a lot and I drop lots of feelings on it. I really love it, and in what I've been doing lately I've understood the meaning of real art; emotions, honesty, passion and genuineness. Things I've lacked a lot these last years.
I'm starting to learn about love. Friendships are not about rewards, and love is not about happiness. I have a cat and a dog, and I don't see them as "cute animals" anymore, I'm starting to see them as beings, and I'm trying to take better care of them, to give them the same amount of love they give to my world. I also want to take better care of my niece. She's 4 and I want to be the best uncle I can for her. She doesn't deserve to live in the same house as a total prick.
I always feel guilty for everything I do, but with "B" it's different, as it's the one guilt that drowns me. At this point I just to want to be there. I wish I could just magically change things so they would be happy, with no issues in their life so they can accomplish all the things they are completely capable of. But I can't do that. Still, they are one of the most fantastic people I've ever met, there's so much love and purity behind the issues we've had that I'm just now starting to seriously value. I'm not asking for their love again, hell, I'd even be there for them with the condition of them never being there for me, it's just that, if there's something I can do for them at this point, whatever it is, I'll do it no matter the cost. Even if the best I can do for them now is leaving them alone. They're the one person who's worth it. Not those random people I gave parts of me so I could have parts of them, not those random people I met during my winner music days. No, "B" is. Do I deserve another chance at this point, though? I'll totally understand if I don't.
"B" would always mention how I had changed so much and how special I was in 2017, and I can't stop thinking that just now, they were so right. My acts of good were more valuable because they wouldn't come out all the time, they were genuine. Now I just filter my whole existence, and create those instances of friendly attitudes that mean nothing, as they are dishonest in a search of being more likable. That's over, I just want to be me.
I want to be a better human being. Learn how to organize myself and do my favorite things while also living in the real world, taking care of the things I have to and assuming and fixing the mistakes I've already made. To be a better adult than I've been a teenager. There are people that love me and there is a reason for that, right? I won't/can't mention any, but maybe I have good qualities.
But once again, my lack of will and my stupidity won't let me change, no matter how wrong I know I am. And saying that is just probably the pretty way of putting "I'm too lazy to change lmao" in words, but I'm having a hard time fighting with myself through this. I know the will to change is there, but there's also laziness and comfort I've grown in.
In the end, since the pandemic started, my life changed 180° and my world has been getting smaller and smaller. I now get that the one person I spend all my time with is myself.
Is there any advice I should consider?
Thanks for reading. Hope it's not too tiring. Any advice is infinitely appreciated. Hope you have a great day.
Tl,dr: I hate myself and I've been punishing myself for my whole life. I feel like I'm a terrible person as I grew to be pretentious, anxious and selfish, while making false friendships and leaving people that love me and my responsibilities as secondary to get inside my own world. I know how wrong I am and I want to become a better person, a better friend and a better human but my lack of will gives me a hard time on it, so I'd really appreciate some advice.
submitted by /u/Puzzleheaded-Metal32 [link] [comments] from Continuously Improve Yourself! https://ift.tt/395WFtG
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hanjo-love · 3 months ago
Now I became selfish and I hope the shard is showing Hanji being saved by Kiyomi or something. She go the worst treatment and if Isayama was afraid of the backslash like you said why make it even worse with those parallels with eremika? Is he preparing the Fandom for another levihan moment? I'm tired of EVERYONE surviving but her, Kiyomi's kindness really??? And Onyankopon, while I don't hate him, he survived a plane crash and he doesn't add much yet he is there for being the editor's favorite, Yelena is there after all she did and she adds even less, and the people titanized will revert to human (or at the very least Isayama's favorites will).
Oh anonie, you and me both my friend, you and me both 😔 Beware, a long rant-ish meta is ahead of you lol
I have absolutely no fucking idea why Yams decided to treat Hanjo like shit. You know, after a long time of denying her death, I was starting to accept it, because she was finally free, free of the burden and pain and finally reunited with the people she missed and longed for the most. But then Yams decided to slap us all in the faces saying there's no happy & peaceful afterlife in snk and Hanjo was probs only hallucinating because of her 4 years long depression? Well then, fuck you Yams! What was that even for? Isayama never backed off of showing us the horrors of death in snk, no matter how important the characters and how brutal their deaths really were. Still, he never showed us Hanji's actual death or dead body. He kept it misterious and his vague answers only made it worse. So it's only natural for us to expect a plot twist, right? That's the reason all of us gathered various hints in the manga, anime and his interviews. And lemme tell you, these theories are far more logical, better explained and have less plot holes than the entire final arc smh (yes I'm salty, fight me lol)
I hate to admit it, my inner self is still in denial and fighting, but Hanjo ain't coming back folks. We won't get any background story and the misterious shard will never be explained to us either. Yams had more than enough time to bring Hanjo back, if he truly wanted to. But he didn't. And now with only one chapter and so many unanswered questions left, there's no time for Hange's return. Why would he even do that anyways? Hanjo isn't important to him or to the story anymore. To us she is, always was and always will be ❤️ You know, I'm so fucking desperate to see her again, I'll even take one last panel of Levi remembering her, just like in ch136. Yams just let us see Hanjo one more fucking time 🙏🏻 I need to say my proper goodbyes to my one&only comfort character, who's influenced my life like no one else ever did ❤️
Back to Levihan (I don't think I can answer an ask without my biased and trashy shipper ass butting in lmfao): the question why Yams confirmed Levihan as canon if he didn't intend to bring Hange back and reunite her with Levi to make us him happy again? Well, isn't it obvious? This man is the devil incarnate. THIS MAN HAS NO FUCKING CHILLS lmfao JK y'all before someone declares war on me and my blog haha Well anonie, I feel like Yams really wanted to confirm his initially planned ships as canon, before the manga ends. And he chose the safest way possible. Easy as that. Also he said he is going for a bittersweet ending and what's more tragic (in this literal hell) than separating lovers, ergo Eremika and Levihan.
Now to something else, that's been bothering me for a while now and I'll use your ask anonie to share my thoughts with the world even though nobody asked lmao tbh I'm a bit disappointed with Armin. I love him, I really do. He's my precious cinnamon roll and my fave 104th kiddo. But honestly, I was expecting a bit more of the alleged "hero who will safe humanity". In fact, I'm sure Hanjo only died for Armin to become the new commander. That's it. That was the reason she had to die. Yams glossed over her to make Armin shine. But in fact, Levi's the one who's giving orders ever since Hange has left them. I might me salty, but I really hope the talk with Zeke (and probs Ymir as well, we still might have a chance to see the dialog that made Ymir change her mind) and his titan nuke weren't the only things he did as "humanity's hero" in this final arc. For some people this might me enough, for me it isn't. It wasn't worth Hange's sacrifice. Also what made me really sad was Armin himself glossing over Hanjo when he remembered Erwin Danchou, but not her. Like she didn't just pass away an hour ago to save their pathetic asses. Ugh this is making me hella mad, ngl. Hanjo didn't deserve this treatment! She gave her all for this! To save the alliance, to "pay the price" for her "sins" as the SC commander and to save humanity. I can't deal with how all of them and the fandom apparently forgot about that.
Now on to "Kiyomi's kindness" lol I wasn't really mad at Gabi for saying this as most of the fandom was. I won't go into detail why she isn't really a rationally thinking character (yo guys, you do remember she's a 12 year old kid, right?), but it's a fact that she didn't care for Hange enough to mention her. I mean, why would she? She barely even knew her. Also we don't really know what's gonna happen with Yelena, Kiyomi and her delegation. I don't know if I'm reading too much into it, but I feel like Kiyomi accepted her death with saying "that's not enough atonement for what I did anyway". I mean they don't know if the alliance will win (they probably think they won't) and they're in the middle of literally nowhere. So I feel like Gabi said that because Kiyomi sacrificed herself (and the others on that ship) willingly, for Gabi, Falco and Annie getting a little chance of surviving and helping the alliance. But I get the rage of the fandom. Especially because no one, except for Levi, remembered Hange after her noble sacrifice.
As for Yelena and Onyankopon, there obviously has to be someone from outside of Paradis to survive the rumbling, otherwise it wouldn't make a lot of sense, I guess. I like Onyankopon a hecking lot ❤️ precious boi was literally crying for Hanjo 😭 Yelena on the other hand deserves what she got. Death would be too easy and kind for her tbh. She has to live with the consequences, just like Kiyomi, so I'm actually glad they survived. So my guess is, it's not really about who's Yams' favorite and what these people are contributing to the story, but it's rather about a logical ending and a good conclusion of the story.
I agree with you about the ones who have been titanized. They'll for sure revert back to humans. It's not really Yams' style to kill of an important character like Gabi, whose character development he's been forcing on us for quite a while now lol. I'm pretty positive about an ending with the titan curse being broken and bringing the titanized people back to human beings (probs also the millions of colossal titans?). It's only natural for Yams to end the story with the titan curse being lifted. Otherwise it wouldn't make sense to end his story at this point. But let's not forget what a big ass troll Yams is lmao you never really know what he's up to, so let's prepare for the unimaginable lmfao
I'll probably never forgive Isayama for what he did to Hange, his best written character, how he completely ruined her and threw her away as disposable, just to make other characters "shine". HER DEATH WAS POINTLESS AND IT DID NOT FUCKING CHANGE ANYTHING! That's the harsh truth y'all. Yams betrayed Hanjo and us AND FOR WHAT?
Thanks for the ask anonie and sorry I turned this into my personal rant lmao hope you still enjoy reading my thoughts on this ❤️
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slugtranslation-ec · 3 months ago
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Unlock City: Level 4 - 1
Yet another nearly sleepless night passed for Koudai. Previously, his anxieties over a potential break-in had kept him up, but tonight the issue of his sister also weighed on his mind.
A series of tents had been erected near the school for the student’s families to stay in, and Koudai considered spending the night there before ultimately deciding to go home instead. Maybe he was afraid of keeping the reality of the situation in plain view. I’m pathetic, he thought. Even I can admit that.
 Probably as a result of his troubled sleep, Koudai dreamt of something he hadn’t thought about in years: Otoha back when she was in middle school. Koudai had no problem with dreaming about his sweet little sister, but the issue was that dream Otoha was more like her real smart-alecky self and immediately started getting on his case about everything.
“Don’t you go reading my books without asking.”
“What, are you still looking for a job?”
“Move, you’re in my way. Don’t just lie there!”
“Huh? What does that have to do with anything? Don’t go pulling the big brother card on me!”
Geez, Koudai thought, do all girls talk like this?
Otoha had been an adorable kid all through her early years of elementary school, but soon after that, she never had anything positive to say when she talked to Koudai. It was always complaint this, complaint that. Their large age difference prevented them from having any full-scale fights, but they both likely had various grievances about each other.
But come on, enough was enough! Even in a dream, Koudai could only take so much flack before he got mad. He was just opening his mouth to snap back at her when he opened his eyes and woke up.
Koudai sat for a moment in silence. Glancing at the clock, he saw it was only five am – much too early to go to work, and yet not enough time to go back to sleep.
“Maybe I’ll run down to the store and grab something…” he muttered to himself as he rolled out of bed. Now that the distribution of goods had stopped, it was only a matter of time before stores all over town ran out of stock. Those who were concerned about this had already started panic buying which meant there was already very little left. Yet even though Koudai didn’t have much in his kitchen, he still hadn’t gone out to stock up on anything.
When he turned on the light, he happened to notice the small stuffed animal sitting on top of the TV. It was a handmade (and not very well at that) rabbit small enough to fit in his palm. He must have brought it along with him for some reason when he moved into this apartment. Otoha had made it for him back in elementary school with what materials they had lying around the house. Koudai picked up the rabbit and looked at it for a long moment.
 Once again, he set out for work. Since his moped no longer ran, he walked the entire way and ended up slightly late, but no one seemed to care. There were still plenty of others who hadn’t come in at all; the department head and Atsuki, for instance, were nowhere to be seen.
The whiteboard in the corner of the office showed the date, July 10th, and a list of everyone’s status for the day. Under the department head Nakazawa’s spot, it read, “Out on a business trip”. However, the board didn’t show anything for Atsuki, so Koudai guessed he simply hadn’t arrived yet.
Koudai was staring at his computer screen, pretending to work, when Atsuki rushed in, sweating profusely.
“Whew, I made it,” he panted as he threw himself into a chair. “Someone stole my bike. I mean, I guess there’s nothing I could have done to prevent it, what with the bike lock being broken and all. But still.”
With cars, motorcycles, and trains all out of commission, that left bikes as the only effective means of transportation. Maybe it was inevitable that they would be sought after like this.
“Sorry about yesterday,” said Koudai. “For not going with you, I mean.”
“Don’t sweat it. I mean, what with your car stopping… and the whole thing about your sister and all. I get it.” This answer surprised Koudai, who thought it was odd for Atsuki to be so considerate of his feelings. “And, well, maybe it’s better that you didn’t come anyway.”
“The net café was a bust?”
“Yeah. The guy at the shop said he wouldn’t tell me anything unless I was with the police.”
“So you went home empty-handed, huh?”
Atsuki smirked meaningfully. “What makes you think that?”
“… You found something after all?” Koudai asked.
“Yeah, I mean – well. It’s a long story. I’d rather tell you at my place… are you down for taking a trip?”
Was Koudai down for it? What did Atsuki mean? What, was he actually giving Koudai a choice this time?
“Not at all, actually,” said Koudai. “But do I have the right to refuse?”
“No, not if you’re worried about your sister.”
“But there’s nothing I can do for her now. The police still haven’t found a way into the school.”
His father had called him this morning to ask him to come home as a preemptive measure in case Koudai’s mother took the news about Otoha badly.
“Aren’t you concerned for her?” Atsuki asked.
“I am, and that’s why I’ve been trying to think of other things I can do right now. What you’re trying to do is find the person who started this whole thing, right? Maybe they know a way to bring down that invisible wall around the school.”
Rescuing his sister from certain danger sounded cool on paper, but Koudai wasn’t sure he liked the sound of it in this situation. Do I really want to save her? he wondered. The answer was, of course, a definite yes. But he was a main character in a video game or something right about now, wouldn’t he be far more desperate thinking about her? His worry for Otoha and his desire to get work done some way or another were all mixed up inside of him.
Suddenly, Atsuki read the look on Koudai’s face and said, “You’re pretty messed up, aren’t you?”
“Am I? What makes you think that?”
“Oh, I didn’t mean it in a bad way. … Actually, that’s why I asked you to come along with me in the first place.”
“Huh?”
“Because we’re the same.”
Koudai didn’t know what he meant. “How?” he asked. “I feel like we’re complete opposites.”
“Hmm, how do I put it…” Atsuki mused. “I think it’s because we’re both kind of depressing people.”
What, was Atsuki saying they were both failures? Well, Koudai had to admit, that wasn’t totally wrong, but come on – Koudai and Atsuki had completely different personalities and backstories. Weren’t they at least a little different?
“But,” Atsuki said, “even I can tell you’re taking your sister’s situation seriously.” He smiled weakly and picked up the cellphone lying on top of Koudai’s desk. “Is this hers?” He pointed to the small rabbit dangling from the end of the phone strap. As small as it was, it looked huge next to the phone. Koudai had seen it last night at home and just… well, he thought he might as well keep it with him until everything blew over, even if it was a little too cutesy for a twenty-seven-year-old man to be carrying around.
Atsuki’s assumption that it was Otoha’s was only half right. “Yeah, sort of,” he explained. “She made it for me a long time ago.”
“Oh, I see. And you care about it, so you’re bringing it with you.”
“Do you have a problem with that?”
“No, not at all. … Here, let’s stop thinking about this. Anyway, this is our chance to save the city. Put another way, we’re the only ones who can. And I bet we can have a lot of fun along the way too.”
“You mean, you’re the only one. Not me. Right?” said Koudai.
Atsuki was the one who wanted to catch the perpetrator and, in that respect, Koudai wasn’t actually all that useful. Since the cars were no longer running, he couldn’t even be Atsuki’s replacement legs anymore.
“Nah, it’s fine. It’s good enough that you’re coming with me. All I need is an eyewitness.”
“… Wait a second,” said Koudai. “Isn’t that the exact opposite of what you said to me?”
“Hm? When?”
“Just now. You said I didn’t have to come with if I didn’t want to.”
“Oh… I was just saying that to show sympathy, you feel? I knew you’d come with me one way or the other.”
“… Are you for real?” Koudai coughed once, bewildered. “Whatever. Ignoring that for a minute, you’re treating this like it’s some kind of game, but this is real. People’s lives are actually at stake.”
“Uh, yeah, I know. But I mean, this reality that we now live in keeps defying the laws of common sense. I can’t help but be reminded of a game.”
“And it doesn’t look like that’s bothered you at all.”
“Look, you don’t have to come along if you don’t want to.”
“That’s not what you were saying earlier,” Koudai snapped. “Now do you want me to come with you or not?”
“I do, I do,” said Atsuki. “It’s frightening to do it alone, and it’s lonely too.”
“Okay, fine, then let’s go already before the department head gets back,” Koudai said as he started to rise from his seat.
“All right, cool – but how are we getting to my apartment?”
“… We’re stuck with walking, aren’t we? How far is your place from here?”
“It’s about an hour. I think less,” said Atsuki.
Koudai cursed himself for being roped into this situation and that asinine conversation with Atsuki. But perhaps it was better this way. After all, if there was something he could do, he would rather do it than regret it afterwards. At least this would serve as a distraction from all his worrying.
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mirrorforevers · 3 months ago
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heavenly nobodies (or “the fog”) • graham/reader
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this is a bit heavier than usual, ladies. proceed w caution. tw for mentions of abusive relationships, drug abuse and reader has no self-esteem at all. nothing too descriptive in that sense though
on a lighter note, reader n graham are basically two lost adults acting like petty children
a quick disclaimer: its not my intention in *any way* to glorify or romanticize drug abuse or basically anything any of these characters do - its messed up shit. this is fiction, don't take it seriously, please
if this fic was a song, even though its titled after a lush song, it would be lark by angel olsen i guess. might have a sequel someday i dunno
+18, as always. contains smut. this is sososososo long and has went through so many rewrites im sorry. but i do think its my best fic yet!
set in the mid 90s
word count: 3.780
You still remember the day it began.
A nasty fight took place between Graham and Alex. You only got involved because your relationship became one of the topics of the heated debate. Long story short, Graham basically screamed at you two that you, Y/N, were wasting your life away by dating someone like James.
At first you were blind with rage and defended your decadent relationship while insulting Coxon until your throat burned from the screaming match, but afterwards, after you caught yourself thinking a little too long about how James' eyes sometimes seemed to hover over you with an indifference Coxon's never, ever showed, and how it hurt to see Alex in the arms of an entire sea of more attractive women than you - and how shallow you've become for even trying to excuse his behavior with something as empty as the fact you weren't as stereotypically beautiful as the other girls he screwed, you noticed something wasn't quite right about the entire situation, but you still felt shivers at the prospect of telling him you were sorry. He also had a lot to apologize for.
The fog. That's what's been messing with your mind lately. And Graham's. And everyone else's.
It's hard to think about things clearly as they happen in your life when all you feel during most of it is hedonistic, empty bliss. Everything moves in slow motion. The regret, the harsh words, always come afterwards, like a sudden car crash, after people realize the very real consequences of what they said and done while they were immersed in their own very temporary, elusive, pleasures. The fog also made you bitter - not only you, but Graham, Alex and the other boys as well; your relationship with them as a group of friends and individually, each in a different way, consequently turned into a toxic, resentful mess of chaotic feelings and unresolved conflicts. Your relationship with Graham was by far the most affected.
You grew up together. You went to the same college. You very briefly had a thing. He drew you lots and lots of times, you haven't lost a drawing. You realized you didn't love him like *that* and he was okay with it. You were still as close as ever.
Then you met his other friends. In the beginning, he was so excited about this whole "band" thing. The boys were funny, compelling, undoubtedly hard to deal with sometimes, but you got them quickly. Their music very gradually became successful - they deserved it. They sounded so good together. You noticed Graham was a bit jealous of how you interacted with the other boys sometimes. Damon and Dave were the first ones who tried (hard) to bed you, but Alex, effortlessly, was the one who got to.
One night turned into two, three, fifteen. Then into a fucked up prototype of a relationship around the time their stages got bigger, more packed with screaming teenagers and all of you met her – heroin. Graham got proportionally and gradually more distressed and anxious each day. You didn't know which one of these things disturbed him the most, after all, he didn't speak to you (or anyone, for fuck's sake) like he used to. Thousands of little things began to intercalate and swallow everything you've built together.
You've started to hate him - he refused to speak to you about what was bothering him, and you barely talked outside of the inevitable circumstances. Meanwhile, Alex dragged you even deeper into his questionable lifestyle and you shrinked into it until you could pretend it fit you like a glove. You felt so small. Invisible to everything and everyone who truly mattered, even to yourself. You tried to reach out to the one who mattered most plenty of times, but every time you tried to reach out to him it would end up in screams and even more resentment. It seemed like there was no way back - he hated you as well because he thought you were just like Alex. It felt like a knife was twisted in your stomach when he said it the first time. You pretended it didn't hurt the other ones - those were the nights your binges were the worst and you'd vomit yourself to sleep, though.
Everything was leading you to one of those nights again, until you heard a knock on your door. At this time of night, it was definitely Alex.
You tried to tidy yourself up as much as you could in a matter of a few minutes. You thought you weren't as effortlessly beautiful as the other women in his life - as if cheating had something to do with appearance and not with his character, but oh well - and you felt like you had to at least try to keep up with their pace. You washed your face, smeared some foundation on some old stretch (and track) marks and tried to pretend his presence was the brightest spot on your day. He disguised so much criticism under the pretense of worry, leaving you feeling so bad about yourself, but you needed his approval like you needed air on your lungs (or opioids on your veins) for some reason you couldn't quite explain.
You open the door, holding your breath while you tried to ignore the pit that grew on your stomach just to find out that...
"Graham?" You were simultaneously relieved and revolted to see him on your door. Adrenaline ran through your veins. You didn't realize how afraid you were of him - you've only hurt one another with words, but still, you were afraid to cross eyes with him just because you felt like it would start another fight and you would simply never speak to each other ever again, not even to fight. You were afraid of how deep your friendship has corroded.
He was visibly hurting, just like you. It comforted and hurt you to see it.
"You were waiting for him, weren't you?" He noted, vaguely motioning towards the lipstick on your lips. You felt pathetic.
"What are you doing here?" You quickly wiped the lipstick off your lips while he looks around, not really knowing what to answer. His eyes, puffy, somehow indicated he wasn't there to say he was sorry. At that point, you didn't even cared who was in the wrong. You just wanted to know why he was there.
"Just came here to tell you that... I'm leaving Blur, and... I'll be moving to Germany with a friend. Tomorrow."
"What kind of joke is this?"
"I wanted to tell you because... I felt like we got so used to each other's presence t-that... even if you're relieved by the news, uh, I think you should know in advance."
There was no mischief in his eyes. There was no point in joking with something like that. It's not like you were comfortable enough with each other to joke with each other nowadays anyway. That realization crushed you and anchored you to the very confusing and tragic reality just laid out in front of you.
It was so uncharacteristic. You knew of his tendency to run away from these types of situations and this time he simply didn't. Your mouth refused to close. "I-I don't understand. You... You can't... You can't just do that. You have a fucking gig tomorrow!"
"I won't justify myself to you. Just... take care of yourself and... don't let that leech suck the life out of you more than he already did."
"You don't understand. You don't understand anything. Is this about him? Again?" In yet another wave of adrenaline, you pulled him inside your flat and he just lets you. "Are you moving to bloody Germany because of what went on between us today?!"
"I don't care that you don't love me. I care that I can't go for a fucking day without seeing you waste away your life with him. If he was someone that made you happy... but he's just killing you. I can't deal with that."
Still in shock, you pulled him in a desperate kiss. It was not an attempt of making him stay, but something else entirely new. He had to say he was leaving so you could really know, in a matter of a few seconds, how much you needed him there.
His reciprocity simultaneously broke your heart and filled it with hope - you knew how far your relationship with Alex went and how tough it would be to break free from the chains he's got your heart tangled in, but at the same time, Coxon kissed you in a way no one else ever did. He loved you like no one else could. And that's how you noticed how easily you clinged to any sign of true affection given how much Alex's been neglecting your emotional and physical needs lately. Everything was about him all the time, it was a monologue. Graham and you had a conversation.
(A conversation that lasted all night. Thankfully, Alex didn't show up. He must've been talking to someone else.)
Instead of sweet nothings and love confessions, funnily enough, you and Graham exchanged soft "I hate you"s after the deed was done. You both hated the situation you were in. Hated that even though the passion burned hot as fire between you, you were stuck in a mess bigger than everything that just went through both of you. But never each other. You just couldn't name the feeling right.
Perhaps needless to mention, he stayed in the United Kingdom. Instead of sitting and talking like adults about what you felt about each other though, the bickering somehow became even worse.
Of course you started to take his side on fights more often. Mock Alex's behavior together more often. Something definitely changed between the two of you, but it still wasn't enough. Graham was still furious that you wouldn't give up on James. You were still furious that he wouldn't take your relationship with Alex seriously. It had its many faults, yes, but it was special in a way no one else grasped and you were raised to think that people shouldn't give up on others that easily, a convention that no modern deconstruction of social norms could take out of you out of a sudden. Not even Graham. But instead of raising your voices and breaking things around you, you've found other means to release the tension between you. Usually in dark corners of untidy pubs, his flat or yours. It became so frequent it didn't need any planning anymore.
Following the opposite path of the earlier days of your animosity, the more intense the fights got now, the lower your voices got. Instead of distancing yourselves from each other in the middle of screams, your bodies got closer like magnets. He could be so tender somehow even when his words stung like venom.
You were living and breathing contradictions. Him in the way he conveys his hopeless submissiveness to you in the way every touch of yours breaks him and the way he just isn't able to cum if he sees you're not having enough pleasure, yet he fucks you like he wants it to hurt and pretends nothing happened after you're done; and you in the way you cling to him like he's your lifeline when he's deep inside of you but isn't hesitant to not look him in the eye on some other nights.
The night of one of the parties thrown by Blur's record company following the release of The Great Escape wasn't one of the latter.
While the lower floor of the venue is frenetic with people immersed in different levels of ecstasy caused by all sorts of different substances, the upper floor is reserved to the lovers, or people who were looking for a calmer place to talk or to relatively safely de-escalate from their highs. You, on the other hand, just wanted to run away from the view of Alex kissing another woman in the event he brought you to. You were almost falling asleep in one of the tiny, dimly lit and cramped rooms when a small, familiar voice woke you up. "Why aren't you downstairs with your future husband?"
You feel aloof. The slightest mention of the one you think you love disgruntles you. "Ugh. I should have known it was you," you grumble, giving him room to share the sofa with you. "You know why."
"I don't. Someone once told me I don't understand anything." He accepts the offer almost unconsciously. It's so interesting to see how his actions contradict his words and posture, just like your actions contradict yours.
"I'm still right about that. Why did you come here? To mock me?"
"You're lost."
"And so are you. Don’t talk. I don’t want to hear it."
"Do you want me to leave?" he asks, calmly, knowing what the answer will be.
It's always a no.
You instinctively move closer to him, as if he's about to disappear in a cloud of dust in any moment. You don't ever want him to leave.
He notices your eyes are glistening when your lips touch, so smoothly and in such a tender way. His hands enter your hair, just below your ears, and you melt at his touch all over again.
The kiss starts out slow, then becomes more and more intense. His tongue slides against yours and you whine, clutching at him like he’s the only thing tethering you to this earth. It becomes so easy to let him settle between your thighs. He runs one of his large hands through your hair, fists it, and pulls your head so he can have easier access to your neck, filling it with open-mouthed kisses. “Why the fuck,” you manage to murmur in between heavy breaths, “do you care so much about me?”
He doesn't answer. His fingers trace the hem of your dress instead, skimming up the side of your leg. You whimper as he moves them over the sensitive skin to the apex of your thighs, his lips finding the side of your throat again. He sucks a mark into your skin just as his thumb caress your core so lightly above your underwear and you whisper, voice trembling with desire: "You're so much better than him."
He's not sure if you're just leading him on, and neither are you. He doesn't even know if he has heard it right. The fog really blurs every line. Reason, feelings, motives. "You never cried over me", he answers, seeking to turn that reality around, it seemed. Your hips buck into his touch, and a moan escapes you when his hand coyly seeks direct contact with your clit, stimulating it with precision from the start. "You truly... don't know shit," you gasp, grinding harder against his touch and losing yourself to his ministrations, the fog of an earlier hit helping in enveloping you in a state of so much bliss.
"Do you want me to lock the door?" His raspy voice takes you out of this world. You nod, a little disappointed by having such a great feeling interrupted for the sake of privacy. Your lips were spit-slick and pinkened, your eyes half lidded. The sight made Graham breathe hard through his nose, but he somehow kept his composure. When he goes to lock the door, you couldn't help noticing the tent you helped build in his jeans. You feel proud of yourself.
He returns with the hungry kisses and eager touches, slowly driving you crazy all over again. His kisses lower down, down... and you pat his shoulders, motioning for him to stop. "I want to make you feel good tonight." He accepts the offer.
You scooch downwards, just above his hips, and you pull his pants and the waistband to his briefs down in one swift motion. He's painfully hard, but that was hardly a surprise. Graham straightens his back just in time to watch you take the reddened head of his cock into your mouth. He claps a hand over his mouth, hips bucking upwards into the wet heat instinctively, your warm breath enveloping his dick and clouding his mind.
Wrapping your fingers around it, you gently jerk him off, slowly sliding your hand from the tip back to the base. He groans, watching you as you fill his senses with a dull warmth. You stare back at him, smiling as he groans at your warm breath.
You run the tip of your index finger tentatively along the underside of his cock, watching with fascination as his cock twitches and reacts to your presence. You lean forward, breathing on the head before planting a soft kiss on the tip. Coxon whimpers, his dick aching from your attention. Tired of the teasing, you begin stroking it, your soft fingers loosely bouncing along his shaft. He leans his head back to the ceiling when you kiss the tip again.
You eye his cock excitedly, before you lean forward and lick his head, swirling your tongue around the crown and flicking it across the tip. His hips thrust forward before you can even react, his mind reeling as your tongue slowly traces along a vein you followed from the head all the way to the base. He groans, and was about to say something when his mind went blank. He sees pure white, his brain shutting down almost completely as you wrap your mouth around the end of his cock and set a steady rhythm to the oral stimulation. His chest rumbles as a deep growl of satisfaction leaves him, shaking through the air, the vibrations in your mouth punctuating his growl with a hiss.
He cracks his eyes open, his glazed eyes staring down to find you staring directly at him. The sight of his rigid cock vanishing between your soft lips made his skin crawl. He groans heavily, grasping your head on instinct and thrusting forward.
You gasp lightly as he shoves himself deeper inside your mouth, pushing against your throat. He moans your name desperately, panting heavily as his hips automatically thrust against you. You stand firm, keeping only the front half of his cock in your mouth, slithering your tongue against the crown and watching intently for his reactions. He was close, his mind firmly on fire as his body reacted on autopilot, trying to extract as much pleasure as possible. He could feel his climax approaching, your soft lips and gentle eyes coaxing him on. You look into his eyes and give an experimental bob of your head, taking him further into your mouth. Feeling the characteristic salty taste of precum on your tongue, you take your mouth off his cock, and before his mind is able to form a cohesive sentence of protest, you take off your underwear and sit on his lap. His hands now squeeze your hip, pulling you closer. Your wetness leaves a bit of a trail on his legs before you sink on his hard, already lubricated cock.
"You're addicted to my cock, aren't you," It's fascinating how Graham's behavior changes when he's drunk. In the best and worst ways. He would never say something like that while sober. You nod in agreement, face flush with arousal and need. "He can't even fuck you," he punctuactes with an especially hard thrust, "like I can." he envelops you in a sort of hug as his broad shoulders and arms now dictate the rhythm you both follow.
"He--c-an't, fuck--"
"Do you think," he takes his entire cock out of you just so he can go even deeper when he says, "he'll hear us... if you say my name out loud?" he smiles when a loud moan escapes your lips, feeling completely in control of your body. You can't even talk anymore, just nod, like a marionette.
"So say it." Another thrust. And another. And another. You follow his pace with your hips religiously, not even slightly ashamed of making the name of the one who's giving you so much pleasure public, as he commanded. You take the last atom of control on your body and direct it to your pussy, clenching your walls tighter around him, an action that successfully tears his thoughts apart, making his eyebrows furrow and his mouth, agape. One of his hands move to the middle of your bodies and, as he looks down at where your bodies meet, begins to stimulate your clit to the rhythm of his thrusts. His groans turn louder when your body moves towards his again, and the sound of your moans, along with the sound of skin against skin and your ragged breaths were the only thing you were able to hear, along with the distant sound of It Could Be You playing in the background.
In a daze, he says your name in that unique way that only he knew how to - like it was part of a prayer and your body was his God(dess). You dig your nails into his back while he fucks you without a trace of mercy. You close your eyes, losing yourself in all those sensations as Graham continued his movements. When he punctuates his now even faster thrusts with a string of "fuck, fuck, fuck" - that's when you know he's close, a suspicion confirmed true as he comes hard inside of you, closing his eyes tightly as he reached his climax. You follow him seconds later.
When he recovers enough to be able to breathe calmly and control his heartbeat, Graham rests his chin on your shoulder. Neither of you say anything for a long time.
And when the spasms of pleasure are gone, Graham's brain decides to go back to work and he realizes what had just happened - again. Suddenly, the sensation of bliss is accompanied by that weird sensation of "What do I do now?". He carefully removes his dick from you and pulls his jeans up, zipping up his pants while you straighten your dress and search for your panties in the middle of the dark. Both without saying a single word.
Graham clears his throat, glancing at the mirror behind the door and seeing his state was deplorable. His face reddened by the heat and his hair a perfect mess. You were in no better situation than him.
“Uh,” Graham said a long time later, breaking the silence. “How long is that arrangement supposed to last?”
"I won't count the time." You responded calmly. 
He nods, mystified by you. 
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judgement-free-sideblog · 3 months ago
Text
Blood tears and sea breeze
Hi! I wrote this at 1:46 in the morning, in the middle of a night shift on a saturday and I have some things to say:
It took me so long to finish this story for many reasons, first of all I got a full time job at the hospital and we got a lot of covid and not covid patients so that was physically and emotionally draining. Secondly I just lost inspiration, my life became one responsibility over the other and I had no more time to me, so I went in autopilot mode and tried to do the best I could.
And suddenly the year ended and I realized how much I missed, and finally something wonderful and magical happened. The love of my life proposed to me and I felt alive again,
I change jobs, I'm now a Resident so now I'll have even less time than before but I have so much more hope for the future. So here it is the end, may we read each other again, but for now this the conclusion of this story, told in three parts because it became longer than I thought
************************
Warnings: ANGST, mental health issues, graphic depictions of violence, blood, cursing, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of sex, substance abuse.
Summary: The not so peaceful town of Broadchurch face dead again, while Alec Hardy continues his journey to redemption will this school teacher be the key to solve the mystery or just another victim of the ever watching evilness that seems to reside in the town.
First Previous Next Last
Chapter 21: Shadows...
The light inside the narrow corridor was flickering, maybe some old installation, how appropriate, the youngest of the Langfors thought, and old dusty and cold place, to keep the one responsible for all her tragedy.
Looking at her in the tiny space, covering her body with a blanket, she looked pathetic and yet she dare to have that stupid concerned look on her eyes, like she was the one about to go to jail, and not the other way around. Because her plan had worked, it all have worked out so perfectly, and now all that was left for Ash to do was saying goodbye.
Y/N was silent waiting for her to say anything, but she couldn't speak, no yet, she needed to see her like that, to keep in her mind that memory, she needed to remind the pain, because those were the only moments she felt alive.
"Was it something I did?" Y/N had a cautious tone, almost afraid to upset her, it was almost offensive, I'm not going to explode, she tought, I'm not a lunatic, but the familiarity of her concern pleased her. "How can I fix it?" Y/N plead and Ashley finally and looked at her, the fluorescent ceiling lamps gave the white room a blue shine but she was almost sure, as always, that the blue light was coming from her.
"It was just a card mommy" She said and before she could add something about how all the other children at preschool made one, the quick and hard stinging pain of a crop aimed at her side made her five year old body fall to the ground.
"Just a card? A card to a whoreson peasant" He and his stupid need to call himself royalty. There was no ounce of royal blood in him since at least three generations prior but he couldn't left it rest. "No daughter of mine will go around making a fool of herself by fraternizing with bastards in need, you are not some common whore and you will not bring shame to this house" he said about to strike another hit with the crop but she run, and left her room to the backyard, they will catch her in no time of course but she just wanted some air.
She didn't understand half of the words his father said, and definitely none of his stupid hate. She felt so alone, so sad and so empty, but she like it out there, she could look at the blue sky and the blue ocean meeting in the horizon, the beach was kilometers from her but was visible from her house, and specially she could see her, the tiny girl always happy and dancing with her mother and her older sisters, she was desperate to talk to her since she spotted her on day from her window, she wanted to know what she did to make her mother hold her like that, to make her father kiss her and give her presents every other day...
Ashley closed her eyes and shut the pain away like she always did, she needed to remember that pain, but then a tiny soft touch on her shoulder make her look up, there she was covered in a beautiful blue light, with a white dress, concerned look on her eyes.
"Why are you crying?" She asked, Y/N had jumped the fence from her house the moment she saw Ashley running. "Is it because your dress is torn? I can fix that, so your mommy won't be mad. Come on." She gave her a hand and she was sure she would never let her go, and for the years to come she didn't, until now.
"He was mine, and you took him, that's what you did" She said finally "Like you always do"
**********
"Forensics are on their way" Katie said once she entered the room again, the blood on the bodies looked fresh enough to know this was recent, other elements of the force have been there the day before arresting Langford and his sister said the parents where upset when she left them...
"Hey, what is a Baronet?" Derek asked, already gloves in hads and protectors on his feet "Is not like a actual royalty is it?"
"No, is the lowest rank and I think you have to pay for it and have land or something, why?" She asked putting on her gloves as well.
"A very old framed portrait of a guy, it says it's a baronet" He said showing it to her. A rapid Google search later and they found out that in fact Mr Langford's grandmother Dame Mildred Langford was the last Baronetess in their line, subsequently his father, Mildred's child born in 1946 chose to not keep the title and the nobility ended there.
There were many signals of adoration towards the woman, but very little towards his father.
"Langford is almost forty, so he was born around 1980, let's asume his father was 20 when he had him...Do you happen to know royalty gossip in broadchurch from the 1960s?" Katie said looking at the necks from the victims, there was a lot of hate and anger in there.
"No but I know someone who might" Ramos took out his phone and start calling "it may take a while, you should check the other room while I'm here... Hola tita? Como estas? Oye me pasas a tito por favor? It's a work thing please" Katie gave him a puzzled look. "My grandmother remarried to a English guy shut up!" He said while she exited the room. "Hola tito, I have a question for you"
The rest of the house was like the exterior, it surely had seen better days, old fashioned furniture and mold growing in some places, the only place remotely modern was in Langford's sister room, all pink an glittery, with 90s pop stars posters on the walls, the place was torn however, someone had been seeking something frantically there, Katie looked in the open window she could see next door house, smaller, and vacant but somehow happier. And in the backyard there was a pile of apparent garbage with flames and smoke coming out of it, with smoke still coming out of it and she run downstairs.
By the time she arrived at the backyard Ramos was already putting down the fire and trying to pick something before it was too late.
It was mostly old photographs in albums in the style of the framed picture in the livingroom. What probably were letters were now completely burn and in the middle of all the ashes there was a wooden box that miraculously haven't succumb to the fire yet.
*********
"Broadchurch police open now" Brian was about to tear the door down but nobody open, and even with Hardy screaming and putting out his gun the place looked abandoned.
"Looks pretty empty" Not only the deli but also the street, it was possible they hadn't open the whole morning "Are you sure she said the deli?" He said looking at the back alley next to the Trader's. But Brian didn't answer, he was trying the phone once again trying to reach her, and Hardy thought of how much would he loved to hear that stupid ringtone of Miller's phone when suddenly the muffled notes of the song he now will love for ever, whatever the fuck it was, came from behind the deli.
They rushed to the door of the back of the restaurant where they probably downloaded supplies and before they could agree on their actions they pushed the door down, of course it was empty apart from some vegetables but the sound was not coming from there, it was coming from behind the door of the freezer, where a fine line of light was coming maybe indicating the last hope they had.
They opened the door and Hardy's heart must be stronger than he had thought because he almost died with horror at the sight of Miller unconscious, with the skin completely pale, and the hair and her lashes covered in frost, with only a tiny mist coming out her mouth indicating she was still alive.
A millisecond after their initial shock they took her out and before she fall asleep again she was conscious enough to see both of the men she loved and to look at Alec and whisper a silent "Thank you"
****
"Maybe it would be easier if you told me how I stole him" you said, with the same tone you use to have for misbehaving children, specially since now you could not see an adult in front of you, only a very scared children, and very sorrow eyes. "I'm pretty sure I was already dating him when I introduce him to you and Charles, we were kind of apart at the time because of the Deli..."
"Oh you really are as stupid as you look don't you" she said irritated, but the superiority in her voice made you think she had bite, and she confirmed it when she continued "Do you happen to know how hard it is to win money with a Deli? Because I certainly don't, that restaurant and your idea of working there would have ruined me if it wasn't because I found a way to save myself"
She then proceeded to explain to you how she, Charles and that monster of a doctor that had treated you before worked together luring young rich men into buying rohypnol to drug innocent girls, only that the "innocent girl" in question happened to be a very alert and awake Ashley, so when they arrived at some hotel or secluded place Charles would extorsion them in order to "keep quiet" Easy money at expenses of creeps, and no victims, until she meet Jonathan.
"I texted Charles to let that one go, and we talked all night, I knew then and there that he loved me and that he was the one... he promised to call the next morning, but you have to appear, with your prudish routine, you stole the only man that ever loved me for me" she said and part of you believed her, but part of you was sure she was lying somehow.
"Then when we meet again he tried to denied it, he tried to pretend he didn't remember, he even proposed to you but at the end he couldn't keep it in for any longer and he came back to me" she said with an expression of triumph in her face like she was looking at something that was not there and for the first time since she arrived you felt angry at her, and disgusted by her smile.
****
"So Langford's father was a crazy old fuck, who hated his father's for loosing the title in order to be one with his people, apparently they have an old factory here in broadchurch, and all his workers love the man, when he died his child try by any means to regain the title and he lost the factory, the land and the family money, he only had this house... a tough environment to grow" Derek said once the box was safe out of the fire. "Also you are invited to my aunt Nicole's birthday party" he said a little embarrassed.
"Is your grandmother cooking? I'm in" Katie said casually while she tried to open the box and Derek relaxed immediately.
It opened with a click and inside it was a cellphone, with trembling gloved fingers she opened and realized it was Ashley's phone, there was the text she had seen so many days before, the one Jonathan sent before he died, she had an unopened voicemail so she checked it, it was a regular costumer asking why the deli was closed that day, but before she turned down again she went trough the saved messages it was only one.
"I know you won't listen, but I had to try" Jonathan Norbury's voice said he sounded tired and angry "I have been trying to make it easier for you so you won't get hurt but you left me no choice, I'm talking to Charles tonight, I'll give him his store back and I'm leaving Broadchurch in the morning, I'll go to London to set the venue..." He sighed as if he was about to do something painful "I love her Ash, I'm sorry but I do, I let my fear to disappoint my father drive me back to the alcohol and made you part of my mistakes, I should have never slept with you, I should have never let your brother near her... I'll marry her and I'll take her away from here... from you and your brother, and you can resume your life with Charles and your business, I won't involve the police as long as you left us alone, I promise, I know you, you are not as bad as you think you are, and you are worthy of love... it's only that I can not love you, I hate to said this to you but that night doesn't mean to me what it means to you, the girl of that night became a constant reminder of the life I needed to leave behind, of the man I don't want to be. I could had been you or any other woman that night and the result would have been the same, me going to AA and then to church and falling for her, because is only her, it's always been her and now I have to make it right. I'm sorry"
"Do you remember what they told us about what happened with the psychiatrist? The thing she did with her wrist?" Derek said while Katie's mind was racing with this new information cursing herself for not confiscating the phone the moment she first entered the station, she wasn't a suspect then, her conscience said but it was not enough
"About the bracelet?" She said rising her look surprised she could still process logical thoughts
"Did her mother had another one? You know like a pair or something?" He said completely serious.
"I don't know, maybe, why?" She asked looking at him.
"Because I think we have to arrest the Langford's for a whole new crime" he said giving her a picture of Charles next to a completely damaged car with an old couple dead inside, the woman was wearing a necklace that she immediately recognized as a pair to the bracelet she bagged as evidence so long ago, and even with the wounds the resemblance to Y/N was undeniable, those were her parents.
******
Miller woke up in a hospital bed with an IV on her arm and a lot of blankets and space heaters around her, Brian was there looking shocked at her and she had her heart full with joy for having him, but her sense of duty was bigger so before anything else she just asked "Where is Alec?"
"I'm trying really hard not to take this personally" Brian said almost angry "But is really hard to take you seriously when you look like a bloody burrito" he said pointing at the foil blanket over her "Shitface is out there"
"I'm sorry" She said immediately "I'm so glad you saved me, and I really love you now more than ever, but someone else's life is at risk and I need to talk to DI Hardy. We can discuss how much you hate him when we get home tonight ok?" She said and he was about to respond but the fact that she call his place home was enough to make him stand up and get Hardy inside.
"Is she awake?" He said desperately when he get inside and Brian exited the room not wanting to hurt his pride anymore, he trusted her enough and was enough in love to let her be. "How are you?" Alec said not sure if he could get closer.
"Don't mind me" She simply said like being nearly frozen to death was a regular Tuesday for her. "You have to get to the station quickly" she said pulling down most of the blankets and sitting on the bed. "Y/N is in danger, you were right she is innocent" she said and since Hardy didn't react immediately she add "And someone is about to kill her"
"How do you know?" He said and Miller couldn't help to notice the fear in his voice, he was already convinced she was innocent but he needed for her to tell him to make it real.
"The friend, it was her from the start and even before that... That woman is a monster. There is a sound recorder sewn inside my jacket, she confessed before tying me up and leaving me inside her stupid fridge" She said and show her two burning marks on her side "She used a teaser to knock me out, she knows her brother will break sooner or later so she choose to confess and tied all her lose ends"
"And she confessed to killing Jonathan and what else?" He asked and she was sure what he wanted to ask.
*****
"You should have told me" you said trying to buy time from her to think what to do next "If you knew he loved you so much you should have told me and I would have gladly go away... I have always wanted the best for you"
"Oh don't come at me with that ridiculous attitude, you knew we loved each other and what did you do?? You had to ruin everything, don't pretend now you don't remember" she said and suddenly everything became clear on your head
You were not mad that night because she left you alone in the dancefloor... but because you saw her kissing him, she was all over him and that stupid purple shirt, you were so mad at her, and you saw so much regret on his eyes but it didn't matter and you just wanted to get out of there, and then Charles came out of nowhere and you went out with him because you felt weird and weak and so confused...and then that happened, and by the time you wake up Jonathan was holding you so tightly and so lovingly that you chose to forget... as you had chosen to forget all those other times, you were sure now that that stupid voice in those videos was not you... and you pray for the forensics department to realize it was some cheap editing of your voice over your body... but you were certain you had actually slept with Charles just not as willingly as it seemed
You felt disgusted by yourself, and by those who claimed for so many years to be your friends, and you hate her so much in the way you can only hate someone you loved for so long and you had to ask because your heart was hurting so much.
"Why?"
She didn't answer, you where about to elaborate in the question because she had already told you why she killed him but she did understand you, she simply was looking for the answer
"Because you had everything I ever wanted"
****
Alec was driving as fast as he could, with Miller's story resonating on his head. Ashley Langford loved Y/N's life and hated her for a long time, when she was going away to Paris she thought she will finally take her place on her family.
But she soon realized that in Paris or in Broadchurch her parents would never stoploving her and she send Charles to mess their car, she saw them die, all because they decline her offer to live at their house when she left.
She was convinced Jonathan was in love with her since they met when he arrived at Broadchurch, but he rejected her when Y/N introduced them formally, maybe as Miller thought, he didn't even remember her. And then when they got engaged she found a way to get him drunk.
Their affair was simply disgusting, she will drug Y/N unconcious so she would sneak out with Norbury, assuring him Charles was simply watching her, but she needed to hurt her, to humiliate her, so she let Charlie take advantage of her over and over again until Jonathan found out at the club at the same time Y/N found out.
In the end Norbury had done the right thing and ended the affair. Hardy listen to the audio Harford sent him, and everything was becoming clear, now he only hope he will be on time.
****
"Do what you must then" You said "If this will make up for whatever it is I did to you... then just do it already" you said now ready to accept the end, and desperate to stop feeling this much hurt.
You thought one last time of DI Hardy, you may be innocent from the murder, but Ashley had made a good work destroying everything you care about and you felt so unworthy of him, even if she didn't killed you you could never look at him so it was better this way.
"No yet" she said and she reach inside her pocket, only now you saw she was holding a gun on her right hand "You knew your dear Alec is out of the case for getting too cozy with you?" Maybe when this is over I will visit him, I'm sure a man like him will be glad to have a women in his life after what happened to his friend Miller" She said and you fear the worst specially sin DS Miller had told you she thought Ashley may be involved in all of this "And after his little whore blow her brains out" she said. "Do you think Paul will say something for you? As far as I know suicidal people get no favors from church" every word she said was meticulously aimed to hurt, and she said them so casually that it almost felt spontaneous "Oh don't get anxious, your end is coming, but first you have to wear this"
You knew what it was before she finished her sentence, a delicate necklace just like the bracelet you longed for so many years, your mother had the necklace so you wouldn't feel alienated by having to wear it, you had given her the bracelet back so long ago and when she died it was never found... and you understand without her telling you that somehow she was responsible for them dying too. And the disgust for her and yourself turn to anger, to a primal need to erase her existence and she was there smiling and something broke inside your mind.
****
Alec was walking fast to the cells, ready to kill Ashley Langford but by the time he got to Y/N's cell he froze still as he saw Y/N extended her hand to take what seemed to be a necklace while Langford pointed her gun at her.
What happened next was so quickly that he almost didn't had time take his own revolver out. Y/N trembling hand became steady to take the necklace and she took Ashley by surprised by pulling her arm inside the cell and taking the pistol from her hand.
"Oh come on do it" Ashley said surprising Hardy and Y/N "Prove me and the world that you are not perfect, that you are as rotten and corrupted as me, come on kill me!" She said and Alec finally speak.
"She is not" he said loud enough for them to hear but he was not screaming. "The only corrupted and repellent creature here is you" he said approaching slowly trying to get Y/N's attention but she was still firmly holding bot the gun and Ashley "You are not like her" he said again.
"I told you detective that I never wanted to find out who did this because I was afraid of what I would become" she said and he was afraid for a second by the anger in her voice. "This ... woman" She said as if she wasn't sure she could call Ashley that "Took everything from me, my dignity, my reputation, my friends... even my family" she said with so much suffering in her voice that he only could flinch his fist inside his coat. Where the fuck was the other guard? "She took the man I loved... the man I thought that also loved me"
"She didn't" he said and took out his phone, he held it in front of him as he approached her and play the audio.
"That's a lie" Ashley start screaming, now completely unbalanced, "He loved me, he loved me!!!!" At the moment the words "it's only her" came out of the phone Y/N hand relaxed and Hardy use the opportunity to take the gun out of her hand and pull Langford aside, as the bloody security guard finally arrived, without hesitation he took the keys from his hand and opened the cell while the man carried a very disturbed Ashley away, and before Y/N could fall in the darkness and space out again he hold her against his chest.
"It's you, it's only you"
Tag list:
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jay-park-is-bae · 3 months ago
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“Home Sweet Home” (Jay Park x Reader)
Warnings: Angst, and leading to smut, but no smut.
Prompt- Reader and her gay bff try to make Jay jealous after a breakup!
You couldn’t even look your friends in the eyes as you told them about the huge argument that lead to yours and Jay’s breakup a week ago.
“Y/N, you knew this was his lifestyle. Money, alcohol, and bimbos. I always thought you were being a little too optimistic about dating a rapper.” Claire took a sip of her drink and watched you poke at your full salad that had been sitting in front of you for over 30 minutes.
“You can always stay with me! It would be like a never-ending slumber party! We can watch ‘Will & Grace’ all day!” Gabe attempted to cheer you up.  You half-heartedly smiled at him with a pathetic look on your face.
Claire was right. The constant arguing with Jay was useless when you already knew the lifestyle he lived. Women were everywhere, which was what bothered you the most. Jay tried to reassure you that none of the girls in his videos or at the clubs and concerts meant anything to him, but how could you trust that one day he wouldn’t decide out of the blue that they did mean something to him and that he wanted to leave you? Your uncertainty ate at you to the point of the final straw breaking the camel’s back of the relationship. So, you left. And now you were here, regretting your decision but still trying to move on.
“Well, if you’re not going to eat your salad, let’s get out of here before I decide to order a piece of cheesecake for myself that’ll just go to my hips.” Claire shimmied from out of the booth and left her cash tip on the table for the waiter. Gabe wrapped his arm around your shoulders and lead you out in front of the restaurant to wait for Claire to powder her nose.
“Gabe, did I just make the biggest mistake of my life by breaking up with Jay?” You pouted and whined. Your stomach had been in knots all week being away from Jay, and you just needed some words of assurance that you had done the right thing.
“I’m not sure, but I can tell you this—Jay is an idiot for letting you leave, and he’s going to be a jealous mess once you find somebody new.”
“Thanks Gabe.” This time, you smiled a bit more sincere.  Gabe pulled you in for one of his specialty bear hugs and you fought back the tears that were beginning to build.
“Geez, if I didn’t know any better I’d think you two were a couple.” Claire’s voice came from behind Gabe.
“Oh my gosh, Claire! You’re a genius!” Gabe clapped, jumping up and down.
Claire rolled her eyes- “I’m afraid to ask.”
“Let’s make Jay jealous! I’ll pretend to be some guy you’re out on a date with, and Claire can take a picture of us that you can post on social media to make him think you’re moving on! I bet he’ll be blowing up your phone trying to get you back in no time!” Gabe crossed his arms, pleased with his amazing plan, but you were unsure.
“What if he asks who you are?” You questioned.
“Tell him it’s none of his damn business. He’s an ex, remember?” Claire chimed in.
You thought for a moment and finally gave in. Besides, what harm could it really cause? And, there was no guarantee that the plan would actually work.
“Okay Gabe, get in the driver seat and Y/N, you get in the passenger seat. I’ll take a picture of you two holding hands.” You and Gabe got into position and let Claire work her magic behind the lense.
“Perfect!” She exclaimed, admiring her work. You and Gabe agreed that the picture was pretty convincing. You uploaded the final product to your Instagram story and anxiously watched the views go up.
You spent the rest of the afternoon trying to distract your mind with shopping and other activities before heading back to Gabe’s for a movie night with wine.
“Well, so much for making him jealous.” You tossed your phone off to the side of the couch away from you. It had been hours and still nothing from Jay.
Obviously he must be moving on, you thought.
Gabe was ready to give his words of encouragement speech to help you get through your misery right as a Facetime request came through. Claire was the closest to your phone and quickly checked the screen.
“It’s Jay!” She screamed in a hushed tone.
“What do I do?!” You panicked.
“Let it go to voicemail!” Gabe grabbed the phone from Claire and watched as the call continued ringing through with no answer.
Jay called again 2 more times before giving up and texting you. Gabe and Claire coached you on all of your responses-
Jay- Answer your phone.
You- Why? Is something wrong?
Jay- Just answer.
You- I can’t, I’m busy. Just text me.
Jay- Who’s the guy you’re with? Do I know him?
You- What are you talking about?
Jay- The guy you’re holding hands with in your Instagram story. Who is he?
You- Oh, that guy. Sorry, it’s so hard to keep track.
Jay- You think you’re being funny, Y/N? Who is he?
You- I’ll talk to you later. Have a nice night Jay!
“Oh my gosh you guys, I can’t believe that worked!” You were genuinely shocked that Jay even cared and fell for such a ridiculous plan, but it did make you feel better that he was upset enough to call and text you over and over.
“Okay. I say that we upload just one more pic before closing out a successful day of scamming exes!” Claire instructed you and Gabe to curl up on the couch together to make it look like you were cuddling. Claire uploaded the perfected photo to your Instagram story and Gabe turned off your phone and forced you to enjoy the movie.
By the time the film was over, it was 11 p.m. You had forgotten your overnight bag in the trunk of your car and ran down to retrieve it so you could get ready for bed. As you exited the building, a familiar body frame was leaned up against your car. It was Jay, and the look on his face was one of rage. You stopped and watched his expression.
“Where is he?” Jay spoke with a deep and raspy voice.
“How long have you been out here?”
“How long have you been seeing that guy?” Jay stood up and stepped closer to you, towering you in height.
You attempted to speak, but Jay was quick to interject- “I don’t want to hear anymore of this bullshit about being your ‘ex’ boyfriend. You post those pictures trying to make me jealous, you ignore my Facetime calls, and then you turn off your phone so I have no way of communicating with you. What are you trying to do to me, babygirl?” Jay rubbed his bottom lip with his thumb and glided his tongue along the inside of his mouth.
“It was Gabe! Okay? There is no guy. I did it to piss you off, and it worked. So now, you can go back to your little bimbos who I’m sure are waiting for you at the club.” You pushed past Jay to get to your car, and searched the trunk for your bag.  Jay stood beside you and grabbed your arm to pull you away from the trunk.
“Hey!” You tried pushing him, but he was much stronger. He slammed the trunk closed and pushed you up against the back of the car. Jay nestled his left hand behind your head and weaved his fingers through your hair, tilting your head up to look at him and crushing his lips against yours. You lazily pushed at his chest trying to get him away from you, at the same time, falling deeper into the kiss, not wanting it to end. Jay rested his free hand on your left thigh and eased it upward alongside his leg.
“Jay. No!” You were finally able to squeal out.  You aggressively pushed him away from you and Jay stepped back, giving you room to leave if you wished. You stood and watched his face change from the anger it held when he had first seen you to the usual and more soft Jay that you were use to.
“Maybe you should go.” You whispered, fidgeting with your bracelets on your arm and looking down at the pavement.
Jay was quiet and didn’t move. He stared at you intently, “I don’t want to leave without you.”
You shot your head up and gazed into his slightly red eyes that were beginning to glisten over with tears.
“What?” You had already heard what Jay said, but truthfully, you wanted to hear him say it again.
“If you want me to leave, then I will. But, I need you to know that I don’t want to leave without you. I…..I can’t leave without you.” Jay’s eyes shifted down to the pavement as he tried to hide the tears that were beginning to fall. You wanted to run up to Jay and comfort him, but was it too soon to give in?
“Well, what about…what about the other girls? I’m sure one of them would want to go home with you...” Your voice trailed off as Jay’s eyes lifted back up to yours. He was desperate to make you understand how wrong you really were.
“Home? There’s no home without you. And, I don’t want those girls. I only want you,” Jay lifted his arms in a last and final plea – “And, if I can’t have you, then….I don’t want anyone at all.” His arms dropped back down  to his sides, and you couldn’t take seeing him like this anymore. You rushed over to Jay and wrapped your arms around his neck. Jay lifted you up into his arms and buried his face into the crook of your neck. His fingers dug in to your sides as if he couldn’t believe you were back in his arms again.
“I’m so sorry baby. Please forgive me.” He spoke through muffled cries.
“I’m here, Jay, I’m here. I promise I won’t go anywhere.” You held each other for a few minutes before Jay was ready to face you again.
“I never meant to hurt you, baby. I love you so much. Please believe me.” You lifted Jay’s face and lightly kissed his lips. You stroked his cheeks with your thumbs and kissed him again.
“Can we go home now? Me and you?” Jay whispered, kissing the palm of your hands still on his face. You nodded.
You let Jay lead you to his car and back home. You both cuddled in bed, and you were happy to be back in Jay’s arms. He pulled you as close as he could to him and kissed your neck softly.
“Home sweet home.”
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waezi2 · 3 months ago
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Re-reading Yu-Gi-Oh (part 1)
So... I bitch a lot about Yu-Gi-Oh. When I don’t complain about it online and accuse it of scamming kid me, I ridicule the story and the many holes in the game rules.
But I actually used to love this manga with a burning passion. I bought it because I was fixated with the cards, but instead I got traumatized. In an awesome way.
So I decided to re-read the manga about the possibly best known TCG game in the world and see how it started, how it evolved, and if the story still holds up.
So, I’m reading chapter 1, and we have to talk about the art.
The art style at the beginning was chunky and sometimes downright awkward. But it was still very enjoyable. The characters were very expressive and the tone of the style could swing quickly from wacky and rubberhose like to eerie and brooding depending on the situation. It makes you forgive odd-looking legs and hands that becomes massive. It is clear that it is someone’s first project.
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So, this is Yugi. Possibly the cutest and meekest punk kid who ever lived. Yugi is not an outdoor person, so he spends most of his recesses inside the classroom. He brings a ton of games to school, hoping that someone might wanna play with him, but all of his classmates prefer to go outside and do stuff like basketball. And being a short teenager who practically looks like a little boy means he is not a desirable team mate in any ball game.
This is totally just a theory, but I think Yugi’s signature punk hairstyle is his way of trying to look a bit more edgy to try do something about his cute appearance.
... Yeah, it’s not working. He still looks like a fricking Gummibear.
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As Yugi is minding his own business, we meet two familiar faces.
... their names are actually Jounouchi and and Honda, but most people know them by their American names, so I will just refer to them as Joey and Tristan. 
It’s so odd to see their old designs. Especially Joey since his hair is not as big and square like as it is today. And what the fuck is up with Tristan’s face?!
Anyways, while Yugi decides to play with the most valuable game in his collection, Joey and Tristan decides to mess with him. They make an interesting bully duo where Tristan is more loud and is clearly having more fun bothering Yugi who is too short to put up a fight while Joey seems more stoic and is almost annoyed by Yugi for being a pushover. He even tells Yugi to be a man about it and at least try and take the game back from him by force. So while Tristian just enjoys picking on Yugi for the heck of it, Joey seems to sincerely dislike Yugi.
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Luckily, Yugi doesn’t have trouble with bullies as such since he is friends with Tea who is so tough that she actually intimidate Joey and Tristan with sheer attitude. That’s actually impressive.
... A shame she is most of the time just the damsel in distress.
Tea is the only person in class who hangs out with Yugi since they have been friends since kindergarten. And she doesn’t mind staying inside at all since a ton of the guys are jerks who only wanna play basketball with the girls since it gives them an opportunity to look up their skirts.
Yeah, there is a lot of that in this manga. Most of the males in this series are kinda horny. the humor often relies on it, which downright creepy at times.
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Even Yugi finds basketball more appealing now that he knows about the skirt-looking.
Lewd panty-shot aside, I think it is a nice detail that Yugi is as pathetic as the rest of the dudes in school, he probably just doesn’t have the courage to try get a look. It makes him less of a pure hero.
Altight, let’s stop talking about Yugi being a closet creep:/
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Yugi shows Tea what his greatest treasure is: A LITTERAL treasure.
Yep, this is the famous Millennium Puzzle, practically the mascot of the series. It’s an ancient puzzle found in an pyramid that Yugi got from his grandfather who runs a game store. The puzzle is extremely valuable, both because it is from ancient Egypt and it is made of gold.
... And Yugi brings it to school where Tristan and Joey pushes him around...
Yugi has been struggling with the puzzle for eight years despite being a game nerd. Even though it is a blow to his not that big ego, he keeps trying to solve it since the box says that if he will be granted a wish if he manage to solve the puzzle.
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Meanwhile, Joey and Tristan makes the fatal mistake of talking about picking on Yugi while Ushio is close enough to hear it. He is the school’s hall monitor and rumor has it that he is downright psychotic and is feared by most of the students. Heck, some of the teachers are uncomfortable being near him.
And this guy has decided to become Yugi’s bodyguard, something poor Yugi doesn’t take serious when Ushio tells him that.
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Joey and Tristan are unaware how screwed they are as they keep having their fun bothering Yugi without our hero knowing it. Joey managed to steal a piece from the puzzle box before Tea interrupted, and Joey decides to throw the piece in the school’s swimming pool so that the puzzle becomes worthless as it can no longer be solved. I gotta say, that is pretty twisted and surprisingly sneaky of a teen bully. It’s downright creepy.
Speaking of creepy...
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This is Yugi’s grandfather Sugoroku. He runs the game shop that Yugi lives in and is a living encyclopedia when it comes to games of all sorts.
And he can’t just tell Tea that she has grown. He HAS to mention her breasts as well. Da fuck is up with all the sex talk and panty shots in this series?! Does Kazuki Takahashi(the author) have some sort of issues?!
Yugi’s grandfather notices that Yugi is STILL trying to solve the ancient puzzle and warns Yugi that the puzzle is supposedly cursed. That the archeologist and his team died mysteriously shortly after finding the puzzle and the last one to kick the bucket said something about a “shadow game” with his dying breath.
That however makes Yugi even more determent to solve the puzzle. If it really is magical then chances are that he will be granted a wish by completing the puzzle.
Personally, I would call the nearest museum and sell the dang thing before it could kill me with it’s insane cursed magic.
Speaking of insane, Yugi realizes that he should have taken Ushio serious when he said he would be his bodyguard.
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Yep, the SOB has dragged Joey and Tristan behind the school building and kicked their asses through and through. Tristan is in so much pain that he is barely conscious and Joey is so pummeled that all he can do is watch as Yugi shows how surprisingly brave he is as he demands that Ushio leaves them alone, even refer to them as his friends and that they were just trying to make him a man.
Yeah, picking on someone because they are too timid and demanding that they fight you despite knowing that they hat violence is the right way to make someone a man. Hip hooray for toxic masculinity!
Yugi defending Joey and Tristan results in him getting a beating as well.
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One of the interesting things about early Yu-Gi-Oh is the raw and ugly violence. We talking dirty violence where people get kneed in the chest and kicked while they lie down. Not just off-screen, we witness our heroes be pummeled, making the series a bit more gritty and frightening. And this series is not for those with a weak stomach.
Joey is stunned, partly because Yugi defends him, but way more of the short spiky-haired kid’s courage. But Yugi is anything but afraid. After all, he refused to fight Joey, but he still tried to get the puzzle back(not successfully, but he made an effort instead of just squirming).
After Ushio finished kicking poor Yugi’s ass, he tells him to bring him money as “payment” for his “bodyguard service.” And we talking 200000 yen, that’s a lot of dough.
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Ushio even pulls a god damn knife(!), just to show how fucking crazy he is!
Yugi goes home to see if he has money enough to pay Ushio, but he only has 1656 yen. In frustration, Yugi decides to solve his unsolvable puzzle, just to think of something else than the brute with a knife who is waiting for him at school.
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But what do you know? Yugi finally get the hang of it. He sees that some of the pieces just needs to be rotated differently and he finish it in a couple of minutes.
... Or he WOULD have. He finally sees that one of the pieces are missing, breaking his heart and making his awful day even worse.
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But Grandpa has the last piece. He tells Yugi that one of his friends from school had found it and asked him to give it to Yugi. And that he was soaked despite it not raining.
As Yugi is happy about being able to finish the puzzle and returns to his room, his grandpa thinks about that the boy was Joey and that he asked him not to tell Yugi it was him that came with the puzzle piece. Joey also told him about Ushio blackmailing Yugi, so Grandpa secretly puts money in Yugi’s schoolbag so he won’t get in trouble.
And this is where it get’s freaky.
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Yep, here it is. the iconic moment Yugi gets blessed by the puzzle so that he can turn into the split personality we refer to as Yami which is Japanese for “Dark”.
Yugi then calls Ushio and tells him to meet him outside school at midnight.
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Ushio is surprised as he sees that Yugi is wearing some sort of costume and that he looks way more cocky than before.
Yugi tells Ushio that he has the money he demands, but he has twice the amount. Fricking 400000 yen!
But Yugi only “owes” 200000 to Ushio, so he suggest that they play about them in a dark and twisted game.
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Yugi and Ushio take turns stabbing the stack of money placed on their hand. They have to stab hard enough to take more than one single bill. The winner is the guy with most yen bills.
As they play, Ushio seems to be winning... but when it is his turn, he can feel that his hand is way too eager to stab.
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This is not just a weird-ass game. This is a “shadow game”, a game that shows your true nature. Ushio’s greed is now collected in his hand, and he so desperately want to win the game that he can’t control it. He realizes that if he stabs, he won’t be able to control his strength and he will penetrate his own hand. Ushio has to either A) give up and keep his hand or B) win the game with one hand less.
Ushio picks C.
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Ushio tries to kill Yugi, but that was a mistake. The puzzle has made him super human and he leaps from the ground, evading the knife.
And cheating in a shadow game is a big no-go as the host of the game has authority to punish you.
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Yami Yugi curses Ushio with “Illusion of Greed”, meaning he will be doomed to live in an imaginary world where he sees nothing but money everywhere.
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Next morning, he is still outside the schoolyard like a drooling idiot who yells about all of his imaginary money.
Yugi has no memory of what happened but is glad he no longer has to be worried of Ushio who is a harmless nutcase. Not only that, he has finally finished his puzzle... and Joey offers him his friendship.
And that was the start of the horror manga turned card game commercial. It has a lot of charm, is very eerie and I think I prefer Yami Yugi’s first look that is more child like. making him look downright creepy.
This retrospective will continue ASAP.
Till then, I’m Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.
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gamerwoo · 3 months ago
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Wonwoo: Achilles (Part Two)
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Characters: Wonwoo x female reader
Genre/warnings: attack on titan au, technically enemies to lovers???, angst, fluff ig??? it’s not really fluffy until the very end tbh
Word count: 1,889
Summary: With a title like ‘humanity’s strongest soldier’, Wonwoo is the best of the best with zero weaknesses. But when the female titan betrays the scouts and runs away to Marley, Seungcheol decides to enlist the help of you: one of the people aboard the Marleyan ship sent out to sabotage them. And it’s then that Wonwoo discovers his one weakness that might just be his downfall.
a/n: remember that this series will contain spoilers if you’re not caught up with attack on titan!!
Previous | Next | Achilles Masterlist
You felt the tip of Wonwoo’s knife against your throat, barely pressing against your skin but still enough to pose a threat if you moved. He was straddling you, but one knee was pressed into the center of your stomach, just between your ribs. His glare might’ve sent shivers down your spine had it not been for--
“Okay, you made your point, Wonwoo,” Seungcheol said when the captain continued to keep you pinned to the dirt.
Had it not been for the fact he wasn’t an actual threat.
The captain got off of you but didn’t bother offering a hand to help you up. Honestly, you probably would’ve smacked his hand away, anyway. You sat up and pushed yourself off the ground, dusting off your pants. You’d managed to go head-to-head with the soldiers that Seungcheol had deemed the best, and Wonwoo was the final one. Unfortunately for you, he was also the only one you hadn’t beaten. It was definitely close -- even Wonwoo himself had to admit that -- but in the end, he had the upper hand and won. There was a reason he was called humanity’s strongest soldier.
“I’m impressed,” Wonwoo said as he turned to face you once he was standing by the commander’s side with the entire scout regiment watching the fight behind him. His comment took you by surprise. “You managed to win every single fight against our best soldiers. That’s definitely notable. However, you failed when you only had one more opponent left. Pathetic.”
“Lighten up, Woo,” a taller, tanned boy with brown hair playfully rolled his eyes as he nudged the captain. “She kicked everyone’s ass except yours. That has to count for something -- right, commander?”
“Mingyu’s right,” Seungcheol nodded, making Wonwoo simply give him the side-eye before rolling his eyes and folding his arms over his chest. Seungcheol offered you a small smile. “I’m impressed by your skills. You’ve managed to grasp how to use the ODM gear with ease, you’ve excelled at practice killing titans, and you’ve come close to beating even our strongest soldier. I’d say that earns you a spot in the scouts.”
For some reason, you found your eyes drifting to Seungcheol’s right, where Wonwoo stood. You locked eyes as you smirked at him, and he just scoffed and narrowed his eyes.
“Don’t think that means anything,” he spat. “We’re desperate for people, anyway. We would’ve accepted you even if you lost against the wooden titans.”
While that may have very well been true, the commander still complimented you and essentially said you were second best to Wonwoo. You knew that must’ve been getting to him, so you continued to wear your shit-eating grin just to piss him off even more.
-
“What did you say your name was again?”
“_____.”
“And you’re really the only survivor from the Marley invasion?”
“I dunno, I guess so.”
Despite your shrug and lack of answers, the scouts surrounding you at dinner that night seemed to think you were the coolest thing they’d ever seen. You’d never gotten this sort of attention back home. Why did these Eldians seem so impressed by you? You were just some Eldian too.
You’d gotten acquainted with quite a few of them while you ate -- including the rest of the special titans. You found out Jihoon, one of the three scouts you first met, was actually the the attack titan. There was also Mingyu, the colossal titan; Joshua, the armored titan; Minghao, the beast titan; Jeonghan, the war hammer titan; Chan, the jaw titan; and Seokmin, the cart titan. You noticed that Seokmin walked around with a crutch with him, but as he sat across from you, it rested against the end of the table.
But there were also other members of the scouts you’d been introduced to that night: Junhui, Seungkwan, Hansol, and one of the most interesting of them, Soonyoung.
“I’m Kwon Soonyoung,” he had introduced himself to you proudly, “and I’m going to become the next female titan.”
His friends began giggling and snickering as Jeonghan nodded and said, “Sure you are, buddy.”
You had to admit it, though, you were intrigued by the statement. You leaned forward, arms on folded on the table in front of you as you quirked a brow, “Female titan?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “Haven’t you ever wondered what would happen if a guy become the female titan?” 
“...Not really, no.”
“Well, I wanna find out,” he grinned. “I’ve made it my life mission to train hard enough to become the next female titan after Jiwoo -- and with her betraying us, it seems like we’ll need a replacement as soon as we get her back.”
“And speaking of getting her back,” Minghao spoke up, his eyes landing on you, showing nothing but intrigue and interest, “what exactly do you know about Jiwoo?”
You’d already told Seungcheol everything you knew prior to dinner. Ever since he deemed you worthy to be in the scouts, you’d spent all the time between then and dinner locked away in his office to talk. Unfortunately, Wonwoo was also included, but at least he didn’t seem happy about you working with him. Something about seeing him glare at you or roll his eyes because of your attitude just really brought you amusement.
“I know that she ran off to Marley, and now they’re making a plan to kidnap another one of you,” you told him, watching as his brows furrowed.
“Wait, what?” Chan laughed, not believing a bunch of humans thought they could waltz in and kidnap all of them. “How do they think they’ll get away with that?”
“If they have Jiwoo, it’ll be easier. But you guys not only have everyone else, but you have the war hammer. He’s their next target because he can do pretty much anything.”
All eyes went to Jeonghan, who just stared back at you with wide eyes.
“They’ll probably have someone eat him on the spot,” you shrugged, wanting to be honest with your new comrades -- to be completely honest, you hoped they would do something about Marley because you were sick and tired of being treated like garbage your whole life. Maybe your words would make them even angrier than they already were, and they’d wipe out the entire country. “Once they have the war hammer on their side, they’ll stand a better chance at getting the rest of the titans and completely destroying Paradis.”
Seungkwan nodded slowly, “Greaaaaaat....”
“And,” Joshua spoke up, “why are you telling us all of this? It’s only been a few days since you were brought into the commander’s custody, so there’s no way we can believe you’re actually on our side.”
“He makes a valid point,” Hansol nodded. “We’ve seen plenty of Eldians come here to help Marleyans, and they’re brainwashed into hating us and themselves.”
“Nobody bothered trying to brainwash me because they don’t think there’s even a brain in here,” you told them, raising your eyebrows and cocking your head slightly to the side. “I know Marleyans aren’t above us, and I’ve heard the rumors from the few who’ve made it back from Paradis. Besides, do you really think that with the way Marleyans have treated Eldians, I'd want to help them?”
“She also makes a valid point,” Hansol nodded again.
“I know some of us think it’s justified, but I didn’t kill anyone, and neither did anyone I’m related to. There’s no reason I should be punished for something a bunch of people did before I was even born. Marleyans can take their history lessons and shove it.”
“What exactly did the Marleyans do to you back home?” Seokmin asked cautiously. “Jun said--”
“Oh yeah!” Junhui’s eyes suddenly lit up before he was leaning in toward you. “You didn’t even bat at eyelash at captain Wonwoo’s threats back in that room.”
“Jun and I were in the room before they asked us to take those two Marleyans out,” Hansol explained to you. “Of course, he had to tell everyone about the ‘scary Marleyan’ who stood up to the captain.”
“It got better after you two left,” Jihoon informed them.
“Even now, you seem so...” Junhui seemed to struggle thinking of the right word he wanted to use, so he shook his head and changed his entire sentence. “You’re acting so calm and cool about all of this.”
“Anyone who isn’t afraid of captain Wonwoo must’ve seen some awful things,” Mingyu scoffed.
“Yeah, so what’s your deal?” Jeonghan asked bluntly.
You quirked a brow at him, smirking, “I could show you better than I could tell you.”
The look he gave you made you laugh before reassuring him you were kidding. Nobody deserved to be subjected to what they did to you.
“Speaking of you and Woo,” Jihoon began as he studied you, “what’s up with you and him? You hardly know him but you seem to get a real kick out of pushing his buttons.”
It wasn’t that you necessarily hated Wonwoo -- not at all, actually. As Jihoon said, you hardly knew the guy. He seemed kind of like an asshole, but weren’t you kind of one too? If anything, it was just how you were. You liked being able to defy authority because you didn’t get to back home. That’s why you stayed silent. If you did anything, they’d punish you harder -- even just existing was enough to be punished. But here, you could talk back as much as you like, and only get a snarky comment as a punishment.
Besides, seeing Wonwoo get annoyed by you was kind of hilarious.
You just shrugged, “Because I do get a kick out of it.”
Off to the side of the cafeteria, Wonwoo was watching you interact with your fellow scouts. He thought it was silly how they were all interested in you and wanted to learn more about you -- not just because you were from Marley and were supposed to be against them but flipped sides, but actually get to know you as a person. But at the same time, he was a little curious, too. Unlike the other scouts, he’d never show that, but he was even wondering what exactly your life was like to make you the way you were.
“What’re you staring at?” Seugcheol wondered as he walked up behind the captain
His eyes followed Wonwoo’s gaze, landing on your full table that was full of the titans and their friends laughing, and you even joining in. Neither of them had never seen you genuinely smile until that moment. Seungcheol smiled at the sight, while Wonwoo felt...something in him seeing you actually happy and laughing -- not just your stupid smirk when you knew you were being a pain in the ass -- but he wouldn’t show it. Even as stone-cold as he was, it was nice to see someone who had clearly only known pain their whole life, finally feel some joy.
“She reminds me of you, y’know,” Seungcheol told the captain, peeling his eyes away from the wholesome scene to look at Wonwoo.
The younger boy looked at the commander and scoffed, rolling his eyes. But to Seungcheol’s surprise, Wonwoo had no snarky comment to follow up, not saying a word of disagreement as he stalked out of the cafeteria.
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acollectedconsciousness · 3 months ago
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His agency was done for. Done. Just completely and utterly over. Marl Tethgers looked over the ridge down into the valley and thought if he didn’t have something more important to do right now he’d have an “accident” perfectly right here. It was only a short rocky trip down the edge before he’d be bludgeoned by the beach below and then everything would be over. All problems would be solved.
But he couldn’t. He had shit to do.
Now how in the fuck would he negotiate this?
His walkway was narrowing quite a bit and the zig-zagging of how the path was cut into the slope was tripping his vertigo hard. A few times he’d stop and rest holding himself against the slope to his left that he’d just climb down.
Just a few more feet and he’d be at the river’s edge.
Tarnished reputations. Men trying to satisfy their fragile egos. Bosses. He hated bosses. Especially right now. Bosses got to gamble away everything and left you there at the bottom rung—yeah you—having to figure out the mess. That’s what this was. Sending him on a goddamned fact finding mission to look at a fucking spaceship of all things.
Allegedly.
He could still be forking through all of this terrain for absolutely nothing too. He was over it. He hated being there.
He figured once he got down to the river he’d take a big break. He owed that to himself. He could eat the hamburger he’d been saving all morning—an act he felt proud of. Maybe smoke a little. Then before long be back on his merry way. As far as these missions went this one wasn’t all that bad even though he wanted to be home.
He finally hit the water. Ahh. Felt good.
Took a nice big deep swell of the fresh air. Ah so clean.
Arched his neck down at the water.
His reflection undulated and rippled the edges of his outline which made him look incredibly frightening. Man even like an alien. All wobbly and distorted and black and gray and with glowing eyes… Hold on—glowing eyes.
As Marl considered the question he raised his head and felt a leathery gray hand with fingers long like tentacles curl over his right shoulder. It was almost like a horror movie scene but before he could look back and say something stupid his body checked out hard and he fell forward face first into the beach.
It was later and the sun shone in his eyes. His face was flecked in sand particles and leaves. He tried to move but couldn’t. He looked to see his hands tied to a tree. He struggled but couldn’t and instead for some reason he tried to call out for help.
No you idiot. It might make them come back.
I know. I’m just panicking.
In front of him was a ship. It was about 20 feet long and seemed made out of metal. It was triangular in shape. And was docked to the ground as opposed to hovering which he found rather odd but then again his real extent of UFOs was pretty much YouTube videos and TV shows. He’d never actually read a book on the subject. He tried to once when he first started out with the society. On the ninth page he was done. Couldn’t get into it—which would’ve said something to most people. But Marl here wasn’t most people.
Now he was tied to a tree in the middle of the woods seemingly being abducted by an alien life-force.
He was every way scared and every single horrible thought he could think of hit him all at once. He tried to block them out—the probing, the being dissected, being cooked, human zoos. He was losing his shit. Literally. Nothing like being tied to tree after messing your pants. It didn’t feel good and he felt very pathetic in that moment. One of the things you would keep out of the story when you made it back—if you made it back. He was getting ahead of himself. He needed to find a way to get out of his bonds and make a break for it. They didn’t feel like any crazy alien-tech-type shit. They almost felt rubbery like a band of some kind. Like an exercise band. The ones people use to stretch with. Look it up.
Hot damn! If that was all it was then he could make the slip easily and hopefully before predator came back and turned him into a human trophy.
He strategized the best way free himself was a good old wiggle—and he started to, twisting and turning the night away as best he could. It became intense. A full on gyration at one point. He wiggled his little heart out until he couldn’t anymore. He took a few deep breaths.
Thought he’d give it another try. If the last wiggle episode lasted not that long his second attempt lasted a third of that time. He was tired and out of shape and needed a cola.
His eyes danced around like slot machines. He scanned over everywhere. Nothing. No one. He was screwed. Effectively.
But he needed to get his ass in gear here. Time to figure a way and make a break now.
Marl had 15 different options working against him in varying ways of expediency and/or lack of. He was tied to this damn tree and unless he had a way of moving it he was going to have to look for a way of getting loose of this exercise band.
Think Marl think. C’mon old man you can do it.
Jezus Christ yea right bro. You couldn’t get yourself out of a paper sack with a hole in it. You think you can thwart the design of an intergalactic intelligence now. Tall order bro.
I got to do something.
Marl-
The fuck. Was. That?
Marl we’d like you to follow us.
I would if I could but I’m stuck—
Stuck. No you’re pig-tied to a tree getting sap all of over you.
Would you shut up. Did you hear that voice?
Yeah. Who the fuck was that?
I don’t know.
While Marl’s thoughts were swirling he again began the forbidden dance of gyration/wiggling on the tree. This time he was going to do it though the back chaffing he was starting to feel was not helping him at all.
Valentines Day is coming up.
Ok can we just work together please.
Marl lumbered and he sweated and he wiggled. Boy surely he did.
It would’ve been quite the sight to see and he would’ve welcomed the chance to frighten hikers if they were to pass this way, is how desperate he was at this point flailing and struggling like a mackerel caught on a fisherman’s line.
TAPTAPATAPATAPATATAPATTAPTAPATP!
What was that?! he both looked and said at the same time.
Up the tree no higher than the first meaty looking branch was the tiniest woodpecker he’d ever seen in his entire life. It tapped again and again and he felt the pinging in his head. Wishing that thing would shut up and fly away the perfect idea—one that would totally work and be his ticket out of here—struck him instead. And then a big ass acorn did.
He felt woozy and his head fell forward as he clinged to consciousness wondering about the size of that acorn. More importantly he was wondering about the brilliant idea he just had—would it work? And what the hell was it again?
Shit. He lost it. All thanks to that goddamned acorn. He looked at it gaining his bearings again.
Something strange about this acorn he thought.
It was darker first off. It was far more egg-shaped than your typical acorn. He wasn’t quite sure if acorns could grow to be about the size of a bowling ball like this one. It seemed to be made of leathery material and scaly which again he was no expert but surely couldn’t be right. No if he were to make an educated guess he would’ve said this was actually some type of egg. Maybe though. I mean what type of animal could lay an egg like that—
And then it hatched.
His look of "oh shit!" was one of the more expressive and depressing in the history of people giving oh shit looks. It wasn’t like my god he proposed; more like a shit I cut too much off.
He had more than enough reason to be. Things had definitely taken a turn.
The leathery egg shell split in random shapes and as they fell away from the structure they broke free from they tethered back to it in goo that looked like maple syrup with cat hair in it.
Echoing the fears of many in similar situations Marl’s first thought was panic that this thing was a velociraptor.
He’d been deftly afraid of dinosaurs from a young age. He thought it was because he almost choked on a brontosaurus toy when he was younger but his mother of course objected to that because it was actually a toy car.
Either way this could go multiple ways of bad if what was hatching from this egg was anything other than a sweet magical unicorn—all though their horns are sharp.
Hey it’s almost Valentines Day
Would your shut up about that? Why would I care whether or not it’s Valentine’s Day? I got bigger problems. Understand?
I’m trying to help you.
With what? Valentine’s Day. How?
His last Valentine’s Day was spent wondering the deep bowers of the local supermarket for chocolates. He was there with his lady of course so it would be an even more expedient gift exchange. Surfin Safari played over the PA in a rare muzak version. It still had that flat feeling to it. Like looking at the 4th version of a picture of the galaxy out of a toner-challenged photocopier.
He was there for what seemed like eons. They’d run into the mayor of Cordelia the small town he lived in which was not far from where he was tied to that tree.
He remembered how funny it was when the mayor paid for their drink and didn’t leave a donation when asked as he ran his card. Shouldn’t politicians be aware of how that could look? Doesn’t that kind’ve hint at privilege? Maybe in his mind he was insecure about his role in society and felt it wouldn’t be seen as being authentic. More than likely he didn’t care. Why was that sticking with him now?
What is so important about him? Where was this train of thought heading if not off a cliff into looney land?
The dude wore a ball cap. Nothing odd about that. Had a trout sewn onto the front. He did look like a fisherman in how he stood. Kind’ve hunched but still and straight enough. Like it was easy for him to stand like that for long periods of time. Oh yea he was carrying a book. What was the name of it again? They were talking about it. It was what’s her name’s favorite story.
The pea-sized gears in Marl’s head started churning very slowly.
They looked like he did when getting out of the bed every morning. Groaning, pained and holding their lower back while letting out huge exasperated breaths. Sometimes tripping over themselves and hitting the ground causing a compound fracture in his right forearm.
The name of the book? It was geriatric. Old novel. Written by that one guy—the great American author named after a town in England.
He began blurting out the names of English towns. Or towns he thought were in England including New England.
He then devolved into characteristics from movies set in England like the fact that it always seemed foggy over there. He thought of Piccadilly Circus. But no the guy’s name was not Piccadilly anything. Fog made him think of something which brought him back to the ever-hatching egg in front of him. What if this thing was a werewolf?
` Did werewolves have baby werewolves via egg, he wondered. Was that even a thing or was he mistaken (not shocking). They were people first so it must be passed through the bloodline and it’s like a human born with a trait. Oh like in Teen Wolf. Or An American Werewolf in—LONDON!! Hot damn—JACK LONDON!! That was the name of the author. The book was Call of the Wild. Of course.
He was elated and felt himself lifted by a heavenly cloud and bathed in beautiful celestial light. Tears fell down his cheeks and he let out one of the top 5 best smiles of satisfaction known to Man. He looked radiant and felt even so.
Call of the Wild. Ah satisfying… Now what the fuck does that mean?
Panic dropped on him like a cord-cut elevator. He had no idea why that was supposed to be helpful to him. The vibrant color washed away from him. The radiant light he bathed in shut off with a wheeze and a cough. He was no longer floating. In fact with his luck you could say he was actually now sinking. And sure enough that’s what was slowly going on.
Quicksand wasn’t something a 40 year old male rarely prepares himself for. Even one with such an exotic title of Lead President of UFO sightings. His title was admittedly not really thought out. He put the “Lead” in the title. For a human who’s intelligence was made up of pop culture facts and history and a passion for bringing pogs back to prominence along with the sophisticated palette that could tell you when the whopper was seasoned proportionately with the dressing boy he’d sure been asleep on this one. How the hell did one get one out of quicksand? After of course becoming untied from a tree? If of course the werewolf velociraptor egg hatching in front of him could somehow be avoided?
Marl realized in that moment he did not know much. He did know one thing: he needed a cola. Badly.
So when last we left Marl he was in quite the prick-tickler: tangoing with death in varying ways with two left feet and the mental capacity of a battery.
Marl had felt challenged at times in his life sure just like everyone did. But this was about five townships beyond his wheelhouse and he was starting to feel as though he was licked good for sure here. Old Marl was getting uncomfortably close to having a powwow with his maker unless he could somehow shake anything from that ever-barren fruit tree of a brain trust he’d relied on over the course of his almost four decades on this planet.
Something about that book. Call of the Wild. And how would he break free of the exercise band or whatever it was. Calling on his keen strategy he deduced that getting himself untied was the first order of business. The quicksand would work itself out later. The creature birthing in front of him he’d table for the moment but respond to in due time.
Call of the Wild.
How could that help? He needed peace and quiet. He needed to meditate on that. He closed his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths. He felt himself pulling back from his own body like light fading into darkness. He felt his mind stabilizing. The chattering was identifiable and distinct and punctuated by growing patches of silence. He was getting there slowly but surely. He was being escalated in spirit up a large mountain capped in snow but it wasn’t cold it was soft and furry and felt like gold if gold felt like warm butter which is what it feels like. It wasn’t oily. It was only magnificent. This was it. He was here. The top zone. Nirvana. Enlightenment. Here it came. He felt like he was light.
Holy fucking shit, he sang.
He thought he saw cotton candy clouds part. As they did an angel—the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen—looked down upon him and reached towards him with the ethereal hands of a goddess. They glowed and somehow still looked like they were back lit. The lighting was something out of a hallmark movie. And there it went—he touched her hand and his skin sizzled with glee and he felt himself embraced in a cloudy snuggle which felt like he was being hugged by 20 puppies all at once. The angel lady in all her beauty lowered her head to his and puckered her lips. Here he was—he wasn’t just achieving enlightenment he was going to straight up French kiss it. He readied and she came closer and he smiled and—
TATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATAATATTAATATATATATATATATATATATTATATATATAT!!!!
Nirvana folded up and left faster than a sketchy-looking travelling circus and Marl’s eyes shot open as he felt himself instantly transported back to where he was. He had problems he could see that were not held up on him zoning back to make out with angel babe. That baby was a-comin’.
His rapid response was to kick the egg away which could’ve helped if his legs weren’t now submerged in quicksand. Back to the drawing board. Untie himself.
How would he do that—tatatatatatatatatatat! That damn bird. Ttatatatatatatatatatat! Could he shut the fuck up so Marl could think? Tatatatatatatataatatatatatatatatat!
Hot damn! Marl had himself an idea. Like a light bulb in his head. Or a sparkler. What about getting that damn woodpecker to cut off the band around his hands? Shit it would be perfect.
For some reason he thought of The Eurhythmics hit ‘Walking on Broken Glass’ in that moment. Crap what he would do for some broken glass right now?
Anyway that woodpecker would be perfect if he could peck the wood perfectly where he was tied. He wouldn’t even be able to repeat that back to himself but he still had an innate sense of the idea. Now how does one call a woodpecker exactly?
Too complicated for the brain trust who was almost flummoxed by tinker toys growing up.
How about whistling? There you go.
He started to whistle at the bird. The bird didn’t care and after a while started jackhammering the wood. After a moment further Marl’s whistling and the pecker’s wood hammering were combining into a very catchy beat. Exasperated Marl gave up. He was done for. Poor old Marl.
In a lot of ways Marl should not have been in this predicament or in this place for that matter. The only reason a Lead President would get sent on a field assignment in the UFO hunting trade would be lack of funds and they were bleeding out like a stuffed pig. Marl had to do a lot of the work himself in order for publication to happen which wasn’t a guarantee. The magazine they would publish with all of their findings had seen its circulation dwindle from daily to monthly and finally choked its way down to quarterly.
They had a website now defunct after the web tech bolted. The company was really just him and three other people—one his co-captain who was the reason for the magazine losing business (he became too political as they put it) and two younger guys who really had no idea what they were supposed to do and mainly did shopping and food runs or procured office supplies when needed. They proofread each issue before it was published too. That would only take a couple of slow hours.
Their intrepid UFO hunter was not Marl. That belonged to Sky Johnson. Sky Johnson had been following UFOs for years since he was a kid and he and his dad Buck saw one. They listened to radio signals from the sky. Tracked down leads. For the years Sky was associated with them the magazine was hot shit.
Then Sky disappeared.
After that the stories stopped and so did the interest. Sky was never found and his stuff became that of urban legend. The magazine was accused of pulling it as a stunt. An investigation ensued.
By the end of the whole ordeal the magazine was DOA. This was Marl’s last big chance to see the last 15 years of his life not wasted and going down the drain. Unfortunately he had failed. And he had failed big time.
Sky would’ve known how to get out of this. Sky would’ve never gotten into it in the first place. The egg cracked loud and it sent Marl back to his present reality. It vibrated and another piece cracked wide open. Marl watched in horror. A winding leg shot out from the egg and touched the ground. To Marl the leg looked like a black tent pole and collapsed like one as it crooked and set its foot (?) onto the dirt.
Marl now horrified started fighting again hoping to get out of his restraints. Now more tent pole legs were emerging from the egg all originating from a point within the egg where the body would be located. Then that emerged.
Marl sat for a solid minute looking at the thing trying to figure out how to even believe this was real.
Thing. That’s sure as hell what it was. A spidery-looking thing that was black as pitch with hard leathery shells on its back. It had a face and it had fangs above teeth and he thought about how not nice it would be looking out from the back side of those teeth after becoming a meal. Oh it was extremely aggressive. It roared terrifyingly loud and small sounding like a small dog when it tries to growl. It’s hi-pitch hi-toned. Marl was getting deeper in the shit.
He was tied to a tree sinking in quicksand with a crazed alien spider baby eyeballing him for lunch. He needed something right now. Nothing short of an act of god was going to help him. Good ol deux ex machina would hit the spot.
The spider baby recoiled getting ready to pounce at Marl’s neck. It readied, steadied and shot—
It was in Marl’s mind that he saw the image of this wildlife magazine photo he’d seen once of this innocent mother deer surrounded by a pack of hyenas looking at its children who its sacrificing itself for who’ve just escaped. She looked in the moment when the photo was snapped with a hyena inches away from biting her neck so graceful and at peace with what was to come. Marl thought of himself now in that regard and tried to mimic it as best he could. He was that poor deer he told himself. Here it came.
But it didn’t. The was a blast. Marl didn’t want to open his eyes and see it. Metal became unsheathed somewhere and clanged hard against something. The tree shivered then the exercise band fell free along with Marl’s hands and he sunk into the quicksand instantly like flushed shit.
Globs and globs of sand got into his face and eyes. He bobbed around becoming submerged and feeling himself floating down. He felt something grab his outstretched arm and tug it. He felt himself being pulled and the quicksand became like water and sand being dumped on your head. He didn’t worry—whatever was grabbing him felt smooth. Actually it felt human to be honest. He managed a smile—then his hand slipped and he felt lost again. The slush started moving differently running up and not down. He was sinking.
Enough with this he thought. I’m just going. He stopped fighting and let himself sink like a stone.
But it wasn’t going to let him go and like most things tend to do this wasn’t going the way Marl thought it was going to. He felt himself being pulled again. This time even harder and faster. It was like the quicksand was draining away from him now.
Before long he could feel himself back in the light breathing clean air, completely saturated in quicksand and mud. Hands and arms dragged him and settled him onto the solid ground where he was lying out feeling the sun. He had been saved. Saved by who though?
Thought I was goner said Marl.
Thought you were too.
Marl’s eyes opened in disbelief. He looked up at the form standing over him.
Sky?
Like angel babe but in real life Sky seemed to emerge from the rays of the sun crouching down in front of Marl. He looked angelic. His eyes were beaming.
I’m back old friend.
Wha-what happened to you?
At that moment Sky told him they’d have to wait until later. In the meantime Sky would get Marl out of here. There would be many many people who would want to know what Sky knew. Good and bad people. He and Marl would have their work cut out for them scout’s honor Sky had said.
For more info about what Sky said see it in our next issue of Sightlines, the leading publication about UFOs and other strange sightings!!
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wouldpollyapprove · 4 months ago
Text
This Is Not A Date: Part 2
Summary: Y/n was bouncing off the walls after Tommy asked her on a date, that was until she found out it wouldn’t be with him. Spending an entire night trying to keep herself together, she couldn’t help but hate the man she was in love with. 
Thomas Shelby x Reader
Warnings: Language, smoking, barely being edited
Word Count: 1.5k
A/n: I have finally found the motivation to write. That is partly due to the cup of coffee I had this morning (which I normally don’t drink) and anxiety, both of which have prevented me from sleeping. Anyway, here is the second and finally part of this fic. The ending is a little rushed, but I think we have all learned that I suck at writing endings. In other news, gif imagine requests are open. I love writing them, so please request one. Please!
Masterlist
Part One
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A river of cold bit at Y/n’s spine as a shiver shook her body. She breathed out a sign, her breath during white in the cold air as she wrapped her coat tighter around herself. The seasons were beginning to change, the morning air turning to a bitter cold. Her heels clicked against the cobble stones as she walked to work, desperate for the warmth of the building. 
It had been a month since Tommy had sent her on a date with a stranger. A month since she thought she was going on a date with the man who never left her thoughts. A month. A month and her feelings for him had yet to change. 
She still loved him. Y/n couldn’t shake that feeling off. It stuck to her like sap to a tree. But that love did nothing to subdue the anger that sat at the pit of her stomach every time he came into her view. 
With the betting shop in sight, Y/n quickened her pace and soon she was at the door. Walking inside, her lips turned up in a smile when she was consumed by a wall of warmth. She shed her coat and gloves before wondering between the desks to find her own. Her smile faltered once her eyes landed on her work space. Sat in the middle of it was a bundle of flowers. Y/n sighed as she picked them up. Examining the bouquet, a small smile tugged at her lips. All her favorite flowers were there, every single one.
“You’re starting to drive him mad,” Lizzie stated as she entered the room. Y/n nodded, setting the flowers back down. “If you don’t start talking to him soon, I’m afraid he’s going to start driving me mad as well.”
“I do talk to him,” Y/n laughed at the woman’s comment. “Just not about personal things. He is my boss after all, does he really need to know that my grandmother almost burnt down the house?”
“Yes.”
“No.”
Pulling out her chair, Y/n sank down into it, ready for the phones to start ringing. Though her and Lizzie were the only ones there at that time and the shop had yet to open, no one ever cared. People would ring at all hours of the day, even if their calls went unanswered. 
“Are you still mad at him?” Lizzie questioned as she pulled out a pack of cigarettes, now leaning against the desk in front of her.
Leaning back in her chair, Y/n hoped that the subject would be dropped and Lizzie would go back to work, but obviously Tommy was out of business and didn’t leave his secretary anything to do. She thought for a moment, biting her lip. “I don’t know,” Y/n finally let out. “I want to be, I want to torture him, play games with his mind, let him try his fuckin’ hardest to win me over. But I don’t think I can be anymore.” Her hands flew up, gesturing to the flower. “For fuck’s sake, he leaves something on my desk every day! Whether it be chocolates, pastries, or flowers, he always picks the right ones. Always seems to find out what my favorite things are. He’s trying and I know I’ve made it extremely difficult for him to do so, but he tries nonetheless.”
Raising a brow, Lizzie smiled, a laugh slipping past her lips. “When are you going to let him know that his punishment is over?”
Y/n shrugged, her eyes tracing the outline of the room as pondered the thought. 
“You have a little bit-” Her friend glanced down at the watch on her wrist. “-until everyone else arrives, so if you want to let him know any of that, he is upstairs. I’m sure he’d put the phone down for you.”
Shaking her head, Y/n laughed. “What does Tommy think you’re doing right now?”
“Filing. But as I said, he hasn’t gotten off the phone all morning. He has no idea what it is that I am currently doing.”
Standing up, she sighed and walked around the desk, stopping in front of Lizzie. “I’ll go, but only because I know you will be persistent about it until it’s done.”
“I’d also get Polly on my side as well,” the woman laughed as she watched her friend walk out of the room.
*~~*~~*
Standing in front of the door to Tommy’s office, Y/n was frozen in place, fist hovering over the wooden surface. She was unsure whether to knock or simply enter. And then what would she? What would she do? Just stand in front of his desk and wait for him to give her the attention she needed? There were so many questions as her heart beat against her ribs, causing a flare of anxiety to course through her blood. 
It was pathetic, how nervous she was. He was simply a man and it was a simple conversation. Nothing more, nothing less. 
Taking a deep breath, the door knob slowly turned and she pushed the door open. Slipping inside, her eyes landed Tommy, who was hunched over his desk, phone in one hand, cigarette in the other. As she entered, it seemed he had yet to notice her appearance as he argued with someone over the phone. Standing in front of his desk, Y/n shifted her weight and rang her fingers together, unsure how to proceed.
After a moment or so passed by, Y/n cleared her throat, tired of the growing anxiety in her belly. That seemed to do the trick as Tommy’s eyes shot up, an air of caution glistening in them. His face softened when his eyes fell on her, a ghost of a smile on his lips. 
“Alright, I’m tired of this conversation. You figure out your problems and then get back to me,” Tommy spoke into the phone, his eyes never straying from the woman in front of him. Gently, he set the phone back on the receiver and smiled at her. “What are you doing up here? Thought you’d be hard work like always.”
Y/n attempted to bite back a smile as she watched the man in front of her turn back time. The one thing she noticed when he smiled was that the anger, the exhaustion, the hardships, faded from his eyes and softened his face. He looked young again, with a childish expression about him. “I arrived a bit too early, didn’t want to clock in until it was time.” Y/n tried to keep her eyes in front of her, attempted to look at Tommy, but she found that her eyes were doing their best to avoid his gaze. “And, um, I got your flowers. Thank you, they are lovely.”
“You like them?” he asked, a touch of excitement in his voice. 
She nodded. “Yes, very much so. I don’t know how you did, and I’d hate to ruin your air of mystery by finding out, but you managed to gather all my favorite flowers. That’s a hard task to manage when winter’s on it’s way and I haven’t been the kindest to you.”
It was Tommy’s turn to nod, waiting to find out the extent of her trip to his office. “Is there anything else?”
“Do you need to get back to work? That’s a stupid question, Lizzie said you’ve been on the phone all morning.” She turned to leave, but his voice stopped her in her tracks.
“No, no. I don’t need to do anything. Not if you’re up here.”
Biting her lip, Y/n nodded. “Alright, well there is something else. I, um, I forgive you. I forgive that wretched date and all that followed. It’s forgiven and so are you. I forgave you a long time ago, actually. It’s just taken me awhile to find the courage to admit it.”
A warm laugh ribrated the Shelby man’s chest as he smiled at her. “Am I that unapproachable that you needed to find an ounce of courage to say all that?”
Y/n’s cheeks heated up and she couldn’t help but shy away. “No,” she said with a small smile. “Not at all.”
Pushing himself up, Tommy walked around the desk, “Then what was it?” By the last word, he was standing right in front of her and Y/n couldn’t help but meet his eyes.
“I don’t know, to be honest. I guess I never thought I’d be standing in front of you, saying what I have. And I never really thought you’d work for my forgiveness.”
“Oh,” Tommy muttered. Slowly, he reached out for her hands, carefully holding them in his own. In a gentle, swift motion, he pulled her closer, her nostrils filling with the scent of cigarettes, whiskey, and cologne. Wrapping her arms around his waist, Y/n rested her head against his chest. This was what she had been waiting for for so long. His warmth, presence, and affection. “I will make sure to never do anything as foolish as that to you ever again,” he promised her. “But any time I must work for your forgiveness, I will.”
*~~*~~*
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getyouasenju · 4 months ago
Text
Stop Signs
Word Count: 2.4k
Warnings: Angst, profanity, Suggestive, thats it <3
There are two other parts to this fic, but this can be a standalone, the other parts could be as well!
Part 1: “Drivers License”
Part 2: “Red Lights”
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"So, you two are... just friends now?"
Hinata hesitantly asked, quickly glancing back and forth between myself and the man sitting beside me. We all sat at the usual hang out spot, our favorite ice cream shop. Tucked away sitting at an adorable table by the window, with a new guest joining us of course, Shikamaru. I happily dig my spoon into my ice cream before replying, "Yep," popping the 'p' at the end. "We were friends before we dated, what's the difference now?" shoving the spoon into my mouth and shrugging my shoulders. I hear Shikamaru sigh beside me and I throw him a questioning glance. 
"Oh give me a break! You two just friends? Oh please." Sakura laughs out, Hinata and Ino holding their own back snickers. I glance away from my ice cream, raising my brow at my friend. "Didn't Rock Lee have a crush on you? and aren't you two still friends though?" I tease back at her, pointing my spoon in her direction. Her eyes widen as she scrunches her nose, her face turning a slight shade of pink. "Well yeah- but it was one sided, we never dated! You guys were in love, and you two would basically make out in front of the whole village!” My eyes widened as I felt my cheeks warm up, Shikamaru let out an annoyed groan from beside me.
"W-what? no we didn't! right Shikamaru? we kept our intimate mome-" He cuts me off with a harsh glare as he speaks up, "Must we speak about these kinds of things with such an audience? It's so embarrassing.." He sighs out. I rolled my eyes, "Hey! I was just saying!" I defended, turning towards him while grabbing a napkin from the middle of the table. Ino quickly examines the both of us before speaking, "So- this is what you two agreed on? Just being friends again? This is what you guys want?" She questioned. I finish wiping my mouth as I smiled before replying, 
"Yes" 
"No"
 My smile immediately drops as my head snaps to Shikamaru and I furrow my brows at him, but he refuses to look at me. I look down at my cup, suddenly my favorite ice cream didn't taste so good right now. I jumped as Shikamaru abruptly stood from the table. He pushed his chair back and exited the shop, the little bells on the door ringing on his way out. My heart dropped as I watched the door close, my mouth hanging open slightly. The table was silent at the outburst. I looked at the three girls before setting my cup down and rushing after him. I burst out the door, looking around until I spotted him leaning against the side of the building, cigarette in hand. I frowned as I walked up to him. "I thought you we trying to quit." I asked him quietly. He let out a humorless laugh and to be honest, I was a little afraid of where this was going. 
"Well I've had a lot of stress these days." He spits at me, taking a long drag of his cigarette, blowing out a big cloud. It almost felt as if he was doing it to spite me and I knew he was talking about me. I wave my hand by my face, annoyed at him. "Shikamaru, just stop it- please? I'm sorry If I embarrassed you in there, Sakura was just exaggerating back there- she didn’t mean any harm, you know that. I don't think we were that bad." I let out a nervous laugh as I peered up at him. He throws the cigarette bud on the ground, stomping it out as he shook his head scoffing. "Yeah, it was a drag listening to her commenting on something so private, but do you really think that's what I'm upset about?" I open and close my mouth several times and still nothing comes out. "Shikamaru I'm sorry I-" 
He shook his head at me, still refusing eye contact with me, and I immediately stopped speaking. He turns to me, "You know what (Y/N)? I'm the one that’s sorry. I'm so fucking sorry that It's not as easy for me, as it is for you to just be friends. God, I'm so fucking in love with you that I'd do anything to just be close to you for two seconds and it's killing me." He lets out a scoff, “And you know what? I’ll keep coming back to you every single time- it’s pathetic really.” I looked at him in disgust. Easy for me?, oh no- he doesn’t get to say that to me. "So everything is just my fault? Okay, I'm willing to take the blame, but i’m not willing to have the same argument with you every week. I tried to be cordial, I tried to go back to being friends." Finally catching his eyes I continued, "I miss my best friend." I whispered. He made eye contact with me, slightly glaring down at me. “And I miss my girlfriend.”
 I exhaled loudly through my mouth. “So what? You’re gonna pick a fight with me everyday until we get back together?” I questioned him, “Because that’s healthy right? That’s what exactly I want in a relationship, huh Shikamaru? You can’t bully me into getting back together!” He rolled his eyes, digging around in his pocket for what I assumed was another cigarette. I reach out and to touch his hand as he snatches it back. I let out a huff of air, “What do you want from me!” I shout at the hard-headed man. Is being his friend not enough for him? How fucking selfish could he be. He looked taken back at my shouting, but quickly recovers taking a step towards me.“I want you to trust yourself for one fucking time.” I dropped my shoulders in confusion. “Shikamaru..” I start, but he swiftly cuts me off stepping forward to reach out for me. “What do I have to do to fix this? I can’t just be friends with you (Y/N). I have to fix this, let me fix this.” He desperately rushes out. As I allowed him to embrace me, I was silent while I was still stuck on his previous statement as I sat there wrapped in his warmth. Trust yourself... for once in your life.
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“Is your arm numb yet?”
I giggled as I let the question slip out my mouth. We laid in a grass field, he absolutely whooped me in Shogi so we spent the day his way, cloud watching of course. We laid on our backs, my head resting on his arm, the other behind his head as we relaxed. It was a warm day with just the right amount of wind. “Hmmm?...” He slowly lets out, eyes still close. Aren’t we supposed to be watching the clouds? It’d been a week since the incident at the ice cream shop, and as of right now- we were still just friends much to his dismay. His words still repeated through my mind every single day... and the fact that he still owes me a scoop of ice cream from his dramatic exit.. 
Suddenly He rolls his body to face me, bringing one had to my waist, the one behind my head curling up to stroke my cheek. I closed my eyes, basking in his touch. “Friends don’t do this, Shikamaru.” I warned. He smirked at me, “Really? Must be such a drag for the friends that miss out on doing this.” He leans in and connects our lips, and my hands finding the way to his hair. It almost was like a reflex for me, muscle memory, and I allowed him to take control without a second question. He pulls back with that look in his eyes. “Absolutely not, Nara.” I fuss at him. He gave me a sly smile, “Of course not, at least not out here.” My cheeks flushed as I swatted him away from me. ”Maybe Sakura was right about us.” I let out with a groan. “Us?” He slickly asked. I wanted to wipe that shit eating grin off his face. “You know what I meant.” I waved him off, but he grabs my hand and intertwined our fingers. Leaning back, attempting to pull me back down with him again, but I resisted.
He raised a brow at me, releasing me and bringing both arms to the back of his head, letting out a sigh. “What’s wrong now?” He sincerely asks. I huff, looking down at my hands, my mind killing me. “Shikamaru?” I let out quietly. He sat back up, groaning at the movement but becoming completely serious at my tone. “You can tell me anything (Y/N).” I could feel his eyes on the side of my head. I pick at my nail beds as my question boiled over in my mind.
“What happens when I get insecure?”
I said it so quietly that I feared I’d have to repeat it again. It was silent for a little before he spoke to me again. “What.. what do you mean?” He says, seemingly confused at the statement. “You said you want to be together- right? That I’m an easy choice for you, but am I really that easy?” I bring my hands to my face. “So what happens when I get insecure? When I think I’m not good enough for you, or that you’re better off without me, huh? We just break up again?” I frantically turn my head to him, anxiously searching for an answer. He was silent and that was enough for me. “See? This is why we can’t work Shikamaru.” I move to stand up, wanting to get away from the conversation when he reached out and placed a hand on my knee, halting my actions.
“Don’t run from me, It’d be troublesome for me to have to run after you- but I will.” I stiffened, nervous to be in under his touch. We sat in this position for what seemed like forever. “Then you tell me, and we work through it.” He says softly, turning to meet my eyes. I furrow my brows, a bit confused, “What?” He moves his hand to grab mine. “You said what happens if you get insecure. If somehow you think you aren’t good enough for me, or If you godforsaken- thought that I would ever be better off without you.” He shakes his head at the thought of me ever thinking those things. “(Y/N), you see- we do work, but we have to work together. You can’t hide these things- these feeling from me. You have to trust me- trust yourself. You can tell me anything, there is nothing that I am not willing to do for you- for this relationship. You just need to be honest with me- give me the chance to help you. If I ever make you feel that way, you need to tell me.” He brings his hand up to hold my face.
“Promise me that you’ll tell me when you feel this way. We can make this work. I promise, let me in.”
“I wanted to tell you, I just.. I thought that one day you just woke up and realized you didn’t want to be with someone like me, and I didn’t blame you for it.” I whispered, looking at him through my lashes. He looked at me, heartbroken to hear my thoughts as he shook his head, moving closer to me. “Who wouldn’t want to be with someone like you? I wish you could see yourself the way I see you, I wanna spend the rest of my life showing you that you deserve everything
I place both my hand over the one he had on my cheek, melting into his embrace. “Okay.” I whispered with a smile. “Okay? Like, we’re back together ‘okay’?” Shikamaru asks me, I could hear the smirk in his voice. “I wanna hear you say it.” I rolled my eyes. “Geez, if anything I should make you ask me out again for wasting my ice cream the other day...” I start, not being serious when he quickly spoke out to me, “(Y/N), will you be my girlfriend again? Emphasis on the relationship aspect, not the friend part.” He teases me. I blushed as I was the one reaching for his face this time. “I was always yours.” He gave me that famous smirk again before crashing his lips onto mine again. After kissing me until I saw stars instead of clouds, we pull apart both smiling hard. “Well.. want to go have our ‘intimate moments’ back at my place?” He winks at me, teasing me for my words last week.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.. after you replace my ice cream, loser.”
“Of course.” He smiled wildly at me, wrapping his arm around me and promptly pulling me back into the grass. “You know, my parent have been pestering when they’d see you again, especially my mother.” He mumbles out the last bit. My face scrunches up in response and I deadpanned when It hit me. “You didn’t tell them we were broken up did you?” He sighed and looked at me sheepishly, “It would have been so troublesome to explain that- besides, I never planned on letting you go in the first place. It would’ve just been too confusing and not worth the nagging.” He plainly stated. “Oh, so you were so sure we were gonna get back together, huh?” I teased the Nara. He lets out a short chuckle,
“Yeah... I’ll be stuck to you like your shadow.” 
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This was the final addition the my “Drivers License” Fic! It was so hard to finish because for a week tumblr wouldn’t let me type of this doc!!!! I’m so happy to finish it, I wish it was out quicker- but it was out of my control. I’ve had this draft for two weeks!!!! anyways, Love ya! also feel free to let me know if there are any grammar issues! :)
Masterlist
Until Next Time! xxo (▰∀◕)ノ
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