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huttons · 3 years

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Dancing Alone || Tyson Jost

word count: 10.6k

summary: Avery hasn’t been close to her parents in a long time, so moving to Denver to be closer to her sister wasn’t that hard of a choice to make. There she meets Tyson Jost, who somehow manages to sneak his way into her life and change her life in ways she would never expect.

author’s note: this was written for @antoineroussel as part of my follower celebration! I hope you enjoy it :’) also ty to @darthsuboptimal for being my beta for this <3

warnings: dealing with homophobia (specifically homophobic parents), mainly towards the end of the imagine

~ ~ ~

“I opened my mouth, almost said something. Almost. The rest of my life might have turned out differently if I had. But I didn’t.” — Khaled Hosseini

Avery had the chance to move anywhere she wanted to, start over fresh in any large city. But in the end, she decides to go to Denver to be near her oldest sister. The thought of having someone there to support her after graduating university is too tempting to turn down. Besides, Luna offered for her to stay in her apartment as Avery found a place to live.

“How did you manage to get so many clothes?” Luna groans as she brings in Avery’s last suitcase.

Avery snorts. “I honestly have no idea. But I swear half the coats came from Joan because she said I’d need them coming here.”

“Well, she’s not wrong,” Luna sighs. “At least you’ll have the summer to prepare before winter comes.”

“I guess that’s good,” Avery says, looking over all the things she has to unpack now. “God, I’m not looking forward to doing this all over again when I find my own place.”

“Maybe we’ll hire a moving company,” Luna jokes. “But no thinking about that now, I just got you here.”

Avery smiles. “Yeah, I guess you’re stuck with me for a bit.”

“Well, I’ll leave you to it, okay? Dinner will probably be around 6 or so, if that’s okay.”

“Of course. That should give me enough time to get mostly sorted.”

After Luna leaves the room, Avery sighs. Knowing that things won’t unpack themselves, she decides to start with her clothes. She gets lost in refolding everything and trying to figure out an organization method for the dresser and closet. Even though it’s headed into the middle of summer, Avery makes sure to hang up her winter jackets first, knowing that they’ll come in handy sooner than she’d like.

Before she knows it, Luna is calling her into the kitchen for dinner. They mostly start talking about Avery’s drive over from Portland, and confirming that Avery got everything sorted before making the move. It’s everything that she was expecting Luna to check up on, being the most organized out of the two.

“Now, you said you had an interview lined up?” Luna inquires, curious.

“Oh, yeah, it’s at this local plant shop. I’d basically be helping their marketing and sales, then helping up in the front on occasion. Nothing too fancy, but it sounded like fun,” Avery answers. “Better than going back into retail full-time at the very least.”

“You’re not wrong there,” Luna sighs. “Do you want any practice or some help with your outfit? Or did you already get it sorted?”

“I think I’m good,” Avery says hesitantly. “I feel good about it, anyways.”

“Alright then, but if you change your mind tomorrow, let me know,” Luna replies. “Because-”

“There’s never any shame in being too prepared,” Avery finishes. “I know.”

Luna laughs. “Good to see you still have me memorized.”

“Of course I do,” Avery snorts.

The rest of the night passes easily, and Avery enjoys every second of being back with her sister. It was hard going to university so far away from her family, but she wanted the freedom that it provided. After the initial homesickness had passed, she knew that she had made the right decision, as it allowed her to become more confident in herself in a way that would have never happened with her parents around.

When Avery’s interview rolls around, she feels nervous and a bit flustered. Sure, this might not be the job she imagined getting right after graduation, but it would still be something she’d enjoy. There was a reason she chose to major in plant biology at least.

As Avery walks into the shop, she’s greeted by the slightly humid air and freshly watered soil. It feels relaxing, a small reminder of her university’s greenhouse. She almost forgets that she’s here for an interview, and not to look around at all of the plants.

“Are you Avery?” someone inquires.

Avery turns around and sees an older woman, dressed in casual clothing. She smiles and nods in response.

“Yeah, that’d be me,” Avery replies. “And you’re...Helen?”

“You’re correct. Now, come and follow me to the back so we can talk in peace.”

Avery follows her back, and isn’t surprised by the tiny office area in the back. It’s mostly filled with compost and other plants, and a small table just in the corner. She notices two small rooms off to the side, but they don’t take up too much space. Helen takes a seat at the table, so Avery takes the chair right across from her.

“I know this isn’t much, but we’re doing the best we can,” Helen says. “Now, I wanted to ask you about your school, especially since it isn’t marketing based.”

“Oh, yes, of course,” Avery replies, nervous.

Over the next forty-five minutes, Helen questions Avery on a wide variety of subjects. While quite a few have to do with the main functions of the position, she also asks about Avery’s knowledge of plants. That’s when Avery starts to feel a bit more in her element and feels more confident in her answers.

“Well, it was awfully nice meeting you,” Helen says. “I still have a couple other people to meet with, but I’ll let you know any decisions in a week or so.”

“Thank you so much,” Avery replies. “I hope you have a great rest of your day.”

As she exits the shop, she feels like there’s a weight lifted off of her shoulders. Avery feels like she did as well as she could have, especially given the circumstances. When she gets back to the apartment, Luna left out a small spread for lunch with a cute post-it note left on top. Smiling, Avery tucks the note into her pocket to hold onto.

Luna comes back later that night with Indian takeout, knowing that it’s Avery’s favorite. After they get their plates sorted, they head into the living room to watch sometime on Netflix. Nothing gets brought up about the interview, Luna knowing that Avery will mention it when she’s ready. She doesn’t say anything until after she’s eaten most of her food.

“I think it went well,” Avery says quietly. “Like, I felt good during it, but I don’t know if I was who she was looking for.”

“Just means you’ll get the chance to look for something else that might be better,” Luna replies easily. “I know you’ll find something soon.”

Avery sighs. “I hope so.”

A few days go by, and as Avery waits to hear back from the plant shop, she starts to settle more into the apartment and Denver. She’s only visited Luna here a couple of times, so Avery tries to make a list of places she wants to visit. The thought of starting her life here is exciting as it is terrifying, but she hopes that it pays off.

Before she knows it, Avery gets a call from Helen saying that she got the job. Helen wants her to come in the next week to start learning the ropes on how the shop is run. Avery feels overwhelmed, but is excited that she managed to get the position. It makes Denver feel just a bit more like home.

“Looks like I’m really stuck with you now,” Luna jokes after Avery tells her.

“How unfortunate,” Avery replies, smiling softly.

By the time her first day of work rolls around, Avery feels a bit more settled into life in Denver. As all first days are, she’s completely overwhelmed with all of the information she has to take in, but she knows it’ll be worth it. Helen seems wonderful, as well as the other people Avery meets throughout the day.

Avery is a little surprised that she gets her own office, but she supposes it makes sense if she’ll be spending a lot of her time in the shop. Even if she does have to spend a lot of time up in the front working with customers, it’ll feel nice to be connected to part of the community. Besides, Avery knows that she doesn’t do well spending too much time by herself.

As the summer passes, Avery finds herself settling in more and more into Denver. Everyday she’s more grateful that she moved here instead of going back home with her parents. Sometimes she wonders if Luna already figured out why she wanted to get as far away from their parents as possible. It wouldn’t be a surprise since Luna still calls them on occasion, but she never says anything to Avery.

They make it all the way until October before Luna gently brings up the holidays, curious as to what Avery’s plans are. On the surface, it’s a simple question, but Avery really knows what Luna is trying to get at.

“I mean, I was hoping to stay here. I don’t really want to go back home,” Avery says reluctantly. “And before you say anything, there’s no way mom and dad didn’t tell you about what happened.”

“They tried to, but I told them I wanted to hear it from you first,” Luna replies. “And you don’t have to tell me now, though it would be nice to have some context.”

Avery sighs. “It’s just...it’s really nothing, and I blew it out of proportion, but things have been weird ever since. I just don’t know how to fix it.”

Luna gives her an encouraging look, but doesn’t say anything, knowing that Avery will say as much as she wants to.

“Well, they found out that I was dating a girl, and mom totally freaked out on me. She started crying because she felt like I couldn’t trust her with something like that and started guilt tripping me,” Avery explains. “It only got worse when I told her that she wasn’t entitled to know that I was bi. And dad obviously backed her up on all of this.”

“That...sounds like something they would do,” Luna says. “But they were okay with it, right? Or…”

Avery shrugs. “They refused to talk about it after that, and I got mad that they seemed to act weird about it. Mom just said it was because I said she didn’t need to know, so she was going to pretend like it isn’t a part of me.”

“I’m starting to understand where this is all going. I think they’re just not sure how to handle you not being straight, but that’s not your problem. That most definitely explains why mom keeps asking about your dating life when she calls.”

“Are you serious?” Avery groans. “I’m still trying to find friends, much less someone to date.”

Luna laughs. “That’s what I keep telling her. Like please, I’m still your only non-work friend and you’ve been here for almost four months now.”

“How else am I supposed to make friends though?” Avery exclaims. “Nobody told me it’d be this hard to make friends.”

“Welcome to adulthood, my dear sister,” Luna says, smiling brightly. “Now, back to the original subject: holidays. I was thinking about going home if I could get the time off from pediatrics, but if you’re staying here, I’ll stay here.”

Avery frowns. “You don’t have to stay here just because I’m going to be here.”

“Please, I’m not going to make you stay here by yourself.”

“I’ve done holidays by myself before, I don’t mind doing it again this year,” Avery points out.

Luna rolls her eyes. “Look, you’re here now and we’ll make the most of it, okay? I’ll probably have to work either Thanksgiving or Christmas, but I don’t want you to be completely alone.”

“Thank you,” Avery says quietly, smiling a little bit.

She knows that it’s probably only a small concession on Luna’s part, but Avery appreciates it anyway. It’s been a long time since she’s done anything special for any of the major holidays, so she feels excited in a way she hasn’t felt in a long time.

Over the next few weeks, Avery starts to settle into a routine at the plant shop. The days pass quickly, and she feels more confident in her decision to come to Denver. She starts to meet more people through her work as well, and it feels nice to be able to find other people to talk to besides Luna.

It's early Monday morning, a time where Avery normally focuses on doing some work out in the front, when she meets a new customer. He comes in looking a bit frazzled, and he gives Avery a slightly panicked smile when he sees her.

“Hi, welcome in! Is there something I can help you with?” she inquires.

“Uh, yeah, I was hoping you could help me with a floral arrangement. It’s a little last minute but I need it as soon as possible,” he explains. “Oh! I’m Tyson by the way.”

He sticks out his hand, and Avery shakes it, laughing a little.

“So...what kind of arrangement are we looking for? Something for your girlfriend?” Avery asks.

“Oh, no, it’s for my mom,” Tyson replies.

“Any idea what kind of flowers she likes?”

Tyson blushes. “No, I don’t. But she really likes purple?”

“I’m sure I can get something together. We’re kind of limited since these are the last of our flowers for the season, and we only keep fresh flowers for our arrangements.”

Avery leads him over to a case that only has a few bouquets left, and there aren’t that many flowers that bloom this late in the year. She lets out a sigh when she spots the gladiolus, knowing that it’s a great plant to have, even if it doesn’t last extremely long after being picked. Still, if this is a last minute thing for Tyson, it probably doesn’t need to hold perfect for too long. After grabbing it out of the case, she holds it in a way to show it off.

“You’re lucky that we had people growing these flowers this year. They normally don’t go into any arrangements since they bloom so late into the season,” Avery explains. “But we have a couple others that might work, I just figured this was a good first shot.”

“No, this should be perfect,” Tyson replies. “How much?”

“Should be about $50,” Avery answers.

Tyson nods, so she takes that as confirmation that it’s a good price. She leads him over to the register and rings him up. After she hands him the bouquet, he heads off with a bright smile, and looks slightly less panicked. Avery doesn’t think much of it at the time, but she does note that he was kind of attractive.

The following week, around the same time, Tyson comes in again, looking just as nervous as the first time. Avery gives him a small smile as she saves her work and comes over to help him.

“Did your mom like the flowers?” Avery inquires, genuinely curious.

“Oh! She loved them, said they were really pretty,” Tyson says.

Avery smiles. “Good to know that I haven’t lost my touch then. Now, what can I help you with today?”

“My sister said she wanted something too. Not an arrangement or anything, but a house plant? I don’t really know where to start though,” Tyson replies with a small frown.

“Does she have any plants already?”

“No, not that I know of. So...something easy to take care of I guess. And maybe something that doesn’t need a ton of sunlight because I don’t know how much she gets in her apartment. Also something that I can ship in the mail?”

“Maybe a snake plant? I have some relatively small ones that might be able to ship well if you pack it right,” Avery replies. “And they’re pretty easy to care for, even if they need a little bit of sunlight.”

“That sounds great,” Tyson says. “Um, if I bring it by, could you help me pack it?”

“I - sure?” Avery replies, uncertain.

“I can pay you for it, I just don’t trust myself to do it on my own,” Tyson says, laughing.

“No, don’t worry about paying me for it. Just make sure you bring packing supplies and a box that the plant can fit in.”

Tyson nods happily as Avery goes to grab one of the smaller snake plants. She’s not totally certain how well it’ll ship, but she hopes that she does good enough. And if Tyson is so intent on paying her, maybe she can convince him to spend his money on priority shipping instead. The quicker it gets to his sister, the better.

“That’ll be $15,” Avery says after ringing up the plant.

“Perfect, thank you. Are you going to be here later this week?”

“Yeah, I’m here Monday through Friday, although I might be back in the office and not up front. Just ask for me.”

“And...what’s your name?”

Avery blushes. “Oh, my name’s Avery! Sorry, I didn’t realize I never introduced myself.”

“No, you’re fine. Thank you so much for helping me.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” Avery replies, shrugging.

Tyson makes his way out of the store, and Avery lets out a big sigh. She knows that small things like this are important when running a small business, but she can’t believe that she agreed to package a plant for some random customer. At least it’ll be something interesting to help break up her day.

On Wednesday, Remy comes to her office, letting her know that Tyson has come by asking for her. It might be against shop protocol, but Avery tells him to just send Tyson to the back, figuring that it’d be easier to do this in the back. When Remy comes back, he’s leading a slightly confused Tyson, who’s holding the plant, a bunch of newspapers, and a box.

“You can set everything down here,” Avery says, pointing out the lone table. “I can help you get everything sorted much easier than in my office.”

Remy gives them a curious look, but lets them do their thing.

“Thank you so much,” Tyson says. “I feel dumb not being able to do this on my own, but I know I’d find a way to mess this up. And I really don’t need another reason for Kacey to make fun of me.”

“I’m guessing Kacey is your sister?” Avery asks. “And I mean, I feel like she’s going to tease you anyways. That’s what sisters are best at, aren’t they?”

Tyson lets out a small laugh. “Yeah, I guess so. I’m guessing you have sisters?”

“Just one older sister. She’s actually the whole reason I came to Denver. Wanted to be closer to her.”

“That’s nice,” Tyson says quietly. “I moved out here for work.”

“Denver’s not a bad place to end up.”

“No, it really isn’t.”

They keep up the small talk as Avery helps Tyson pack up the plant. She’s almost certain that he could have done this himself, but she appreciates the company and change of pace. They talk a lot about their favorite parts of Denver, and by the time Tyson heads out, Avery has a long list of places to check out.

“I really appreciate this,” Tyson says before leaving.

“It’s really no problem, but I’m glad that you stopped by anyways,” Avery replies.

When Avery arrives back home, Luna gives her a look, knowing that something is up. Avery might have mentioned Tyson a couple of times to her, and attempted to be casual about it. As much as she doesn’t admit it, she also knows that Luna knows her best.

“Tyson came in today,” Avery sighs, knowing she should just get the subject out of the way.

“And?” Luna asks.

“And nothing. I just helped him like I said I would.”

“Okay…and?”

“We hung out in the back and talked a little bit. I swear it was nothing, we were just talking about some of our favorite places here in Denver.”

“Well, that’s a shame. Maybe you’ll get to see him again.”

Avery groans and flops down on the couch. “Nothing’s going to happen, Luna. First of all, he’s a customer and second of all, we’ve hardly interacted! I don’t even know what he does for work or what his last name is.”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t have a little bit of fun.”

“Ugh, please remind me why I’m still living with you?”

“Because you love it,” Luna replies, smiling brightly. “Anyways, if you insist that it’s nothing, I’ll drop it. I just get excited for you.”

“I know you do, but I promise everything is going well. I haven’t even been here six months yet,” Avery points out.

“I suppose you’re right.”

Thankfully, Luna drops the subject, knowing that Avery moves on her own time when it comes to meeting new people. Besides, Avery thinks that she won’t be seeing Tyson anymore, unless his sister insists on him getting her another plant. Even then, it’s no guarantee that he’ll want to see her again.

Turns out, she doesn’t have to wait too long to have her questions answered. It’s only a couple of weeks later when Tyson comes into the shop with a couple of other people. Avery assumes their friends by the way they’re joking around with each other. When Tyson sees her, he smiles brightly, and seems to blush, but Avery brushes that off as nothing.

“Nice to see you in here again,” Avery says. “Who are your friends here?”

“Oh, this is JT and Alexander. We work with the same company,” Tyson answers.

“That’s fun,” Avery replies, noticing that JT and Alexander are giving Tyson weird looks. “So, anything special that you’re coming in for? Is your sister demanding more plants already?”

“No, uh, actually no,” Tyson replies. “Um…”

“Did...did you want a plant? I’m sure I can find something that works well with your schedule,” Avery says.

“He wants to ask you out on a date,” JT blurts out.

“JT,” Tyson hisses. “I was going to ask you that, but not like that, I swear.”

Alexander rolls his eyes. “Please, you would have never asked her out.”

“Uh…” Avery says awkwardly. “Can I speak to Tyson by himself please?”

JT and Alexander at least look a little bit ashamed of themselves, and head out of the shop. There’s a few moments of silence where Avery and Tyson just kind of look at each other, neither quite sure what to say.

“So, uh, I’m really sorry about them,” Tyson apologizes. “I brought them for moral support, not to actually do that.”

“No, it’s...well, it’s not really okay, but I get it,” Avery replies.

“I’ll leave if you want me to, I really didn’t mean to make things weird.”

“Let’s meet at that coffee shop you were telling me about. I get off work at 4pm today, so I shouldn’t take too long to get there. You can have one redo,” Avery says.

“Okay, that should work, I promise it won’t be so weird,” Tyson replies gratefully.

After he leaves the shop, Avery lets out a heavy sigh. She’s not totally sure what to make of what just happened, and tries to let it sink it. Despite what it might come off as, it’s not like she’s opposed to going on a date with Tyson, it just felt like a weird situation to be put into, especially since she’s still getting to know him.

Once she clocks out and locks up the shop, she makes her way over to the cafe. There’s a small part of her that wishes she could have had the chance to change, but her apartment is too far for that. It’s also a little bit annoying having to carry around her work bag, and while Avery is sure nothing would happen to it, she doesn’t want to leave it in the shop.

When she gets there, she doesn’t see Tyson yet, so she goes and orders something before grabbing a seat in the corner. At the very least, there’s a little bit of privacy since the chairs aren’t right next to anyone else. If he’s going to insist on asking Avery out properly, she doesn’t necessarily want anyone else overhearing.

Thankfully, Avery doesn’t have to wait long after grabbing her drink and sandwich for Tyson to walk in. He smiles brightly when he sees her. Instead of going to order something for himself, he sits next to her.

“Do you not want to order anything first?” Avery inquires, frowning a little.

“No, I ate not too long ago, so I’m fine. Besides, I probably shouldn’t be having caffeine this late in the day, I have an early morning tomorrow,” Tyson explains. “So, uh, before I try to make up for earlier, I wanted to tell you something I think you should know first.”

“Ah, is this when you tell me that you’re a serial killer?” Avery jokes.

Tyson laughs a little, noticeably nervous. “Um, no. I’m actually a professional athlete? I play hockey for the Avalanche here. It’s why I moved to Denver in the first place.”

“That’s...pretty cool. Except for the fact that I know absolutely nothing about hockey.”

“I kind of figured since you didn’t know who I was, but I also didn’t want to assume.”

Avery shrugs. “I mean, that’s a pretty big accomplishment.”

“Yeah, guess so,” Tyson replies, blushing a little bit. “So, um, I was planning on having this cute speech and everything to make up for earlier, but I kind of forgot it?”

“Please, you don’t need a whole speech. That’s a little much, don’t you think?” Avery snorts.

“I suppose so. I just felt bad. And I also felt bad that JT said that while you were at work, I know that puts you in a weird position. Although I guess me asking you if you want to get coffee sometime isn’t much better,” Tyson replies, frowning a little.

“At least I know you a bit more than your friend,” Avery points out.

“That’s...also true,” Tyson sighs. “Well, since we’re already here, would you like to get dinner sometime? Like...as a date?”

Avery laughs a little. Despite knowing that this was a very real option, it still feels a bit unreal being asked out. Before the nervous excitement completely takes over, she remembers that she needs to give him an answer.

“Yeah, I think I can do that. I’m off most days after 4pm and I don’t work the weekends,” Avery replies.

“Maybe next week? If you give me your number, I’m sure we could figure something out.”

“Sounds good.”

After exchanging their numbers, they hang out for a bit longer, before Avery says she could be heading back home. She didn’t tell Luna about this, so she knows that her sister is probably wondering where she’s at. As they head out of the cafe, Tyson stops awkwardly, not quite sure how to say goodbye. Avery rolls her eyes, and pulls him into a hug. He holds her tightly for a moment before letting her go.

The second Avery walks back into the apartment, Luna is bombarding her with questions. She knows that her sister means well, so she lets it all slide and explains what happened.

“Oh, that’s exciting,” Luna says with a wide smile. “I can’t believe you didn’t know he was a professional athlete, though.”

“You know I don’t watch sports. Although I guess that’s going to have to change if this date goes well,” Avery sighs.

“Please, I’m sure it’s going to go great. You just have to have a little bit of faith,” Luna says. “And I honestly can’t believe you got a date before finding non-work friends.”

“I don’t see you having non-work friends and you’ve lived here longer than I have,” Avery replies, squinting her eyes a little bit.

Luna sighs dramatically. “I suppose you’re right.”

Over the next couple of days, she and Tyson text constantly, both wanting to get to know the other person better. She knows that they’re probably doing this a little bit out of order, but it is nice that she knows what Tyson wants out of this. Otherwise, she knows that she would probably be left a ball of nerves, wondering if it was going to turn into anything else.

It’s a couple weeks before Tyson officially asks her on a dinner date, and Avery feels good about it. Sure, she still feels a bit nervous, but if she’s learned anything, it’s that Tyson always finds something to talk about and keeps the conversation rolling. So at the very least, there won’t be too many awkward silences.

Tyson insists on picking Avery up, wanting to make sure that the whole night goes perfect. He’s right on time at 5pm, and smiles brightly when he sees Avery walk out of the apartment complex.

“You look great,” Tyson says. “Way to make me feel underdressed.”

Avery rolls her eyes. “I’m sure your shirt cost more than this whole outfit.”

“I don’t think so,” Tyson replies, looking a little bit concerned.

Avery laughs a little. “I was just kidding.”

Tyson blushes as he opens the door for Avery. She smiles softly in thanks, and then they’re off. As he drives towards the restaurant, she notices that it’s in a nice part of downtown, although she’s not that surprised. When she was looking the place up to check out the menu, she made note of how nice it was. It might be an attempt to impress her, but she’s not complaining.

Once they’re seated, Avery takes a quick look around her, and starts to feel a bit out of place. She does her best to take it all in stride, though.

“You’re doing good at trying to impress me,” Avery jokes.

“Really?” Tyson asks, obviously a little bit stressed.

“Yeah, not too shabby. But you really don’t need to do this, I promise.”

“I know, I just still feel like I need to make up for my friends.”

Avery laughs a little. “Consider it made up then.”

Thankfully, dinner goes well, both of them enjoying talking in person. Avery finds herself feeling more comfortable as the night goes on, and loves how easy it is to get along with Tyson. He just makes everything feel simple, and it’s endearingly earnest. By the end of the night, she feels content in a way she hasn’t felt in a while.

“I had a great time tonight,” Avery says.

“So, that would be a yes to a second date?” Tyson inquires hopefully.

“Yeah, I think I can make that work,” Avery answers, smiling brightly.

As Tyson drives Avery back to her apartment, there’s a lull in the conversation. The silence is comfortable, and she doesn’t feel the need to fill it. When he parks his car in the apartment parking lot, he smiles at her again.

“I’m really happy you had a good time,” Tyson says softly.

He quickly kisses Avery on her cheek, then blushes deeply.

“Yeah, I’m excited for round two. Maybe you can invite me to one of your games,” Avery jokes, blushing just as hard as Tyson.

“Oh, you’d want to come?” Tyson inquires, hopeful.

“Yeah, I mean, it’s your job and everything. Has the season already started?”

“No, but we have a preseason game here next week if you’d want to come? It’s on Wednesday. And maybe you can bring your sister so that you have someone there with you.”

“Yeah, that would actually be amazing.”

“I’ll leave you tickets.”

“No, don’t worry about that. I’m sure Luna and I could figure something out,” Avery insists.

“It’s really not that hard for me. Besides, I want to make sure you get good seats.”

“Okay,” Avery says softly. “Can I make sure Luna is free first, though? I want to make sure before I commit to anything.”

“Of course,” Tyson replies. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Bye, Tyson,” Avery says as she heads out.

When Avery gets back up to the apartment, it’s quiet. She groans, forgetting that Luna has an overnight shift tonight since she agreed to cover for a coworker. This just means it’ll be a day or so before Avery can ask about the game since Luna will crash as soon as she gets back to the apartment.

All through her shift the following day, Avery just feels herself thrumming with excitement from the previous night. Helen even remarks on it, joking that she can feel Avery’s emotions from the other side of the store.

“Oh, um, I’m sorry,” Avery apologizes. “I just had a good night last night.”

“Wouldn’t happen to be a date, now would it? I’m old enough to recognize that look on your face anywhere,” Helen says, smirking.

Avery flushes immediately. “Uh, you might be right.”

“Why don’t you tell me about him? They must be pretty great to get you all flustered.”

And so this is how Avery ends up spilling all of the details to her boss. Helen listens patiently, asking only a couple of questions. Before she knows it, almost an hour has passed.

“I - oh, sorry for taking up your time,” Avery says. “I didn’t mean to talk for that long.”

“We can always finish whatever we have another time. Nothing replaces a good conversation, does it?”

“No, I suppose not. I just didn’t even know I could talk that long about him.”

Helen laughs. “Sometimes people take us by complete surprise. Tyson seems like a good person, and I’m glad you met him.”

“Yeah, me too,” Avery says quietly, with a small smile.

When Avery gets back to the apartment that night, Luna is obviously just waking up. She’s still wearing her pajamas, and is only barely put together. Not like Avery can blame her, she can’t imagine having to work overnight in a children’s hospital.

“How do you feel about takeout? Nothing we have here sounds good,” Luna asks groggily. “And I just want something that’ll actually last a few days.”

“That sounds good. Does Indian work? I can call to put in our order.”

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

An hour later, the two of them are curled up on the couch together watching some sitcom. Avery waits a little bit to bring up her date with Tyson, knowing that Luna needs some time to be at full processing capabilities. Besides, it’s not like she gets much time to just hang out with her sister all that often anyways.

“Wait, you had your date last night, didn’t you?” Luna inquires after she finishes her good. “How’d it go?”

“Oh, uh, it went a lot better than I was expecting. He was really great and I just felt like we got along well,” Avery says.

“So I’m guessing there’ll be a second date?” Luna teases.

Avery blushes. “Yeah, you’d be right.”

“I’m glad you’re happy,” Luna says softly. “Whenever I’d talk to you while you were in uni, you always sounded so tired and angry. And I hope you’re happy here with me.”

“Of course I am,” Avery replies. “You’ve been nothing but amazing, and this is home now.”

Luna smiles. “That’s good to hear.”

Their conversation lapses into silence and Avery reflects on it. It’s true - Denver has become her new home and she’s truly happy for the first time in a long time. This is one of the first times she hasn’t had to think about her parents and worry about how they were going to criticize her next. Meeting Tyson has only been an added bonus so far, she would love her life just as much even if he hadn’t waltzed into it. Speaking of Tyson, she also remembered about the game next week.

“So Tyson was wondering if you’d be free next week to go to a game,” Avery says, trying to be casual. “He knows I wouldn’t want to go by myself.”

“I could maybe swing it. What day is it?”

“Next Wednesday. Is that too soon?”

Luna ponders it for a quick second. “I could probably swing it. I get off work at 5pm that day, so we’d probably get there right on time, if not a little late.”

“I’ll let him know,” Avery replies, smiling.

“Does this mean I get to meet him?”

“I guess so? We didn’t work out plans for after the game.”

“I better get to meet him. I want to see if he passes my arbitrary rules.”

Avery lets out a surprised laugh. “I’ll let you know what he says.”

It’s not much later that Avery decides to go to bed, calling it an early night. Before she knows it, her alarm is blaring, and she rolls out of bed to get ready for work. Once she gets to work, she sends Tyson a text, letting him know about the game, as well as the fact that Luna wants to meet him afterwards. He doesn’t respond right away, so she sets to work on updating the store’s website.

While she’s on her lunch break, Avery checks her phone and sees that Tyson texted back. He apparently got the tickets sorted, and the game doesn’t start until 7pm, giving her and Luna just enough time to get there. He also explains that as much as he’d love to meet up after, he usually heads back home right away to go to bed.

Well, just means you’ll have to meet Luna some other time, is what Avery says back.

I’d love to meet her :) maybe we can get lunch on one of her days off or something

That’d be great!!

Avery smiles softly, happy that Tyson wants to meet Luna. Even though she knows that she’s made it clear that Luna is important to her, it’s still nice knowing that Tyson understands that. She’s still unsure of telling him why, but she knows that conversation can wait a while. It’s a heavy topic for someone she’s only gone on one date with, and Avery isn’t in a spot where she feels comfortable talking about it.

Before she knows it, Avery and Luna are making their way into Pepsi Center. The energy is wild, and it’s hard to not get swept up in it. Even though she knows that she won’t get to see Tyson after this, she’s still excited to watch a game. She and Luna looked up as much information as they could so that they could understand as much of the game as possible. And while Avery knows that it’s a preseason game, she still hopes that the Avs do well.

“Well, this is quite a first game,” Luna says breathlessly, as they sit down.

“It really is,” Avery laughs. “I guess it’s a good chance for us to try and understand everything we learned this last week.”

“I sure hope so,” Luna replies, smiling.

Once the game starts, Avery and Luna get swept up in the electric energy running through the arena. Despite not fully understanding some of the calls, they both have a great game. Tyson doesn’t play too much, but every time he gets on the ice, Avery makes sure to cheer a little bit louder. By the time the game has ended in a win for the Avs, she feels totally ramped up, and she knows it’ll be a little while before she falls asleep.

“That was amazing,” Avery says. “I have no clue why I didn’t do this before.”

“I mean, it might have been a little hard in Portland. Do they even have any hockey teams?”

“I...don’t think so.”

Luna laughs. “Well, now is as good a time as any, I suppose. Hopefully Tyson can get you more tickets during the season.”

“I’m sure he won’t have a problem with that.”

Avery makes sure to send Tyson a quick congratulatory text, as well as a selfie she and Luna took earlier. She pockets her phone, knowing that he won’t respond for a little while. The ride back home is fairly quiet, both trying to soak in the game. It feels a little surreal, but it’s definitely an experience that Avery will remember for a long time.

Once they get home, they stay up to watch some TV to try and calm down a little. Before Avery knows it, she feels herself start to fall asleep. The only thing that gets her to move is not wanting to wake up on the couch in the morning.

“Ugh,” Luna groans as Avery gets up. “Why is moving so hard? I didn’t even do anything.”

Avery snorts. “Come on, you’re going to hate yourself if you sleep on the couch. It’s comfy, but not comfy enough to double as a bed.”

“You’re right,” Luna sighs, rolling off the couch. “I think my age is finally catching up to me.”

“Please, thirty is hardly old.”

“Wait until you’re my age, Avery,” Luna threatens, jokingly.

“Sure, whatever you say.”

When Avery flops down in bed, she checks her phone, smiling when she sees that Tyson replied. It’s not much, but it’s still nice to see. She just sends a heart in response, and falls asleep almost instantaneously.

The following morning, Tyson comes into the shop, looking much more awake than Avery was expecting. Still, she smiles brightly, not having expected him to come by the shop today.

“This is a nice surprise,” Avery comments.

“I just wanted to see you since I didn’t get the chance last night,” Tyson replies. “I’m glad you and Luna had a good time, though.”

“Yeah, she’s already badgering me to go to more games,” Avery laughs. “I wouldn’t be complaining either, though. It was really fun.”

“So, uh, I was wondering if you’d want to get dinner again sometime?” Tyson inquires nervously.

“That’d be really nice,” Avery replies. “Somewhere a bit more casual, though. You don’t need to try and impress me.”

“But what if I want to?”

“Oh, well, I guess that could be arranged. Not this time, though.”

Tyson smiles. “Okay, that sounds good. I have to go soon, but I just wanted to stop by while I was in the area.”

After he heads out, Helen comes in only a few moments later. She gives Avery a questioning look, probably knowing exactly who Tyson is.

“Was that who I thought it was?” Helen inquires, smiling deviously.

“Uh...depends on who you thought it was?” Avery replies, flustered.

“The boy you were telling me about, of course,” Helen says. “Only you didn’t mention that he was a professional athlete.”

“I mean, I didn’t even realize it at first,” Avery says, a little defensive. “I just thought he worked a boring office job or something.”

Helen laughs. “Well, I’m glad you seem to be doing good for yourself. You seem much happier than when you first started working here.”

“Probably because I am happier,” Avery replies, shrugging. “I feel like I finally found my place here, you know?”

“Good, I’m glad to hear that. Now, let me see those updates you’ve made to the website. You set up things for local online ordering, right?”

Avery is grateful for the change in the subject, and walks Helen through all of the updates. Online ordering was something new Helen wanted to do this year for the holidays, and Avery was more than willing to help with figuring out the logistics of it all. Hopefully they don’t get too overwhelmed, but there’s enough people working at the shop to at least help a little bit.

By the time the end of the day rolls around, Avery is ready to go. She’s looking forward to a relaxed night to make up for how exciting the previous day was. Much to her surprise, Tyson is waiting near the entrance, obviously waiting around for Avery to finish locking up.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you today,” Avery says. “No game tonight?”

“No, we just had practice earlier today. I was hoping to take you to dinner, though, if you’re free,” Tyson replies.

“I suppose I can do that.”

Tyson smiles brightly and starts walking down the sidewalk. It takes a moment for Avery to catch up, still surprised at him showing up unexpectedly like this. As they walk towards wherever Tyson has picked for dinner, he keeps brushing Avery’s hand. She smiles a little before deciding to hold his hand.

“Oh,” Tyson says quietly.

“Do you...not want to hold hands?” Avery asks, a little concerned.

“No, no, this is nice,” Tyson replies, obviously trying to not smile, but his hand tightens around hers a little bit more.

Avery tries to hide her smile as well, but fails. “So, where are we headed?”

“Uh, just this restaurant me and some of the guys go to on occasion. It’s a super chill place, but we don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

“No, I’m more than happy to go. I was just curious.”

Tyson lets himself smile then, and continues to walk towards the restaurant. Once they get there, Avery notices that it’s very much a retro burger type of place. It seems like a fun place, and completely different from their first dinner together. They’re seated fairly quickly in a small corner of the restaurant.

“They’re used to us stopping by, so we usually get the more secluded tables,” Tyson explains after the waiter drops off their menus.

“Oh, that must be nice,” Avery comments. “I’m sure it’s hard to go out sometimes.”

Tyson shrugs. “It’s honestly a hit or miss. Like we’re not popular by any means, but we’re still kind of well known.”

“Still, any guarantee of privacy must be nice. Or, you know, the illusion of it at least.”

The rest of the evening passes just as quickly as their first date together. Avery finds herself laughing more often than not, and she just feels content by the end of the evening. By the time they leave the restaurant, she finds herself not wanting the evening to end. She’s enjoyed her time with Tyson so much, and she values it more knowing how busy he is.

“I’m really glad you came by,” Avery remarks as they start walking towards her car. “Tonight was a lot of fun.”

“Good, I’m glad,” Tyson says softly. “I was, uh, wondering if you’d want to make us official? Like boyfriend and girlfriend type of thing.”

“Oh,” Avery says. “Yeah - I, yeah, that would be great.”

Tyson smiles brightly. “Okay, that’s...that’s good. Do you mind if I tell the guys?”

“Uh, no? Should I be worried that you’re asking that?”

“I don’t think so? But it might mean JT and Alexander randomly stop by the shop to meet you on a more official basis.”

“I think I can handle that. That means you need to meet Luna, though.”

“I’d love to meet her, you know I would.”

Only a few moments later, they find themselves standing by Avery’s car. She knows she should probably head back to the apartment, but she finds herself not wanting the evening to end. Tyson seems to be the same, not letting her hand go. He hesitates for a moment before going to kiss her cheek.

“I’ll see you soon?” Tyson whispers.

“Yeah, of course,” Avery says.

He lets her hand go and smiles softly before walking off to his own car. Once Avery gets into her car, she sighs deeply. In all of her imaginations of what Denver would be like, she could have never predicted Tyson. It feels a bit surreal, but she’s still happy with how things have been going lately.

When she gets back to the apartment, Luna is already passed out, leaving Avery to assume that she has an early shift at the hospital tomorrow. This makes her think about finding her own apartment, knowing that she’s stayed with her sister longer than intended. Even though she knows that Luna doesn’t mind her staying in the apartment, Avery also knows she should start looking for her own place. She’ll miss being around her sister all the time, but she also knows that this isn’t permanent.

The weeks start to pass, and before Avery knows it, it’s well into the holiday season. The shop is busier than either her or Helen would have expected, but it helps the days go by quickly. Tyson’s schedule also ramps up, so they don’t see each other as much as they’ve wanted to. It also means that she hasn’t had the chance to introduce him to Luna yet, given that Luna is also extremely busy this time of year.

The business also keeps Avery from thinking too much about her parents. Neither of them have tried to contact her, although that’s not too much of a surprise, given the previous few years. At this point, it would surprise her more if they actually tried to reach out at this point, which is why Avery feels shock seep through her when she sees her mom calling her.

“Hello?” Avery answers tentatively.

“Oh, it’s good to hear from you again,” her mom, Jane, says. “I wasn’t sure if you’d pick up or not.”

“You caught me at a good time, I guess,” Avery replies, trying to not sound too rude.

“Well, I just wanted to see what your plans were for Christmas. I know Luna is working, and I don’t want you to be all alone,” Jane says. “And it’s been so long since your father and I have seen you.”

Avery tenses up. “Luna and I made other plans, mom. It’s too expensive to buy a ticket right now anyways.”

“I’ll pay for your ticket,” Jane offers.

“I’m really okay. I’m going to stay here with Luna.”

“Avery, I don’t think you quite get what I’m saying. Your father and I have decided that it’s time to make amends and you should be coming to see us. It’s been a long time since we’ve been a family.”

“It’s not my fault you got mad that I’m not straight,” Avery spits out.

“Honey, this can all be fixed. Just because we don’t approve of the same things you do doesn’t mean we still aren’t family.”

“We’ve already settled this! This is exactly why I haven’t been home in fucking years!” Avery exclaims.

Jane sighs. “Look, you’re really being too over dramatic about this. We can put everything aside for just one day this year.”

“No, I really don’t think we can.”

“Honey, we’re trying our best, okay? I don’t know what else you want from us.”

“I wanted you to love me, mom. I really don’t know why that’s so hard! And you’ve had so many other chances to fix this, and I’m not going to pretend like nothing is going on.”

“Your father said you would be inconsiderate, but I really hoped for better.”

“I really don’t see how I’m the inconsiderate one,” Avery says bitterly. “Look, I’m not coming home and I probably won’t ever come home. Not unless you genuinely get over the fact that you can’t love a daughter who isn’t straight.”

“Avery, you take that back right now!” Jane yells. “Your father and I still love, despite everything.”

“You know what, I’m fucking over this! Don’t call me again,” Avery spits out.

With that, Avery hangs up without bothering to hear what her mom has to say. Jane calls her five more times, and sends countless texts, leaving Avery to ignore them all. She wasn’t expecting to feel so angry over her mom calling, but it’s hard to not feel that way after everything that’s happened. After everything - the screaming and yelling, followed by years of silence - have only led Avery to feel bitter when thinking about her parents.

When Luna comes home, Avery is laying face first on the couch, and doesn’t bother to move. A few minutes later, Luna is tapping her shoulder, and hands over a cup of tea. Smiling a little, Avery sits up and takes it. It’s a small gesture, but she knows that Luna is doing what she can.

“Want to talk about it?” Luna inquires. “Mom left a million voicemails and texts, but I didn’t bother to look at any of them. I knew it’d probably be something dumb, especially considering we haven’t had a real conversation in a very long time.”

“Just...she wanted me to come home for Christmas, said I shouldn’t be spending the day by myself,” Avery explains. “Told her we already had plans together.”

Luna snorts. “God, I can’t believe the audacity she has. But it doesn’t surprise me too much that she tried to convince you to come back home and act like nothing happened. Probably getting asked too many questions now that you’ve graduated.”

“Look at me, continuing to shatter the perfect family picture she’s always wanted,” Avery jokes, despite the exhaustion coming through.

“Why don’t you go to bed? I don’t mind doing dinner by myself, and you probably need the rest.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” she sighs.

The next few days feel weird, with Avery being caught between the chaos of work and the intensity of Jane not leaving her alone. She knows she should probably block Jane’s number, but she also doesn’t want to think about the shit that’ll start up. Thankfully, Luna doesn’t make her talk about beyond what she wants to say, knowing that Avery will talk when she’s ready to.

Tyson swings by the store one day on Avery’s lunch break with food in tow. She hasn’t seen him since her fight with Jane, so she does her best to act normal. Even though Avery knows she can tell Tyson anything, she still feels nervous telling him about it. Right now doesn’t feel like it’s a great time either, not with how little they’ve been able to see each other.

“I missed you,” Tyson says softly, before giving Avery a quick kiss. “Mind if I eat with you?”

“You know I don’t mind,” Avery replies, smiling. “So, what all have I missed?”

“Not much, if I’m being honest. I decided to fly my family down for Christmas since that’s easier than me trying to visit them. The three day break is just too short,” Tyson explains.

“I’m glad you get to see them,” Avery says.

“What about you? I know you said Luna is working.”

“We just decided to work around it as best we can. Family is, uh, too busy to visit.”

Tyson frowns. “That’s a shame.”

“It’s not that big of a deal. Luna is going to be here, and that’s good enough for me,” Avery says, shrugging.

“Maybe we can do something on Christmas Eve. Luna isn’t going into the hospital until late, right?”

“I don’t want to take up your family time. You only get three days with them.”

“Yeah, but I think it would be nice, especially if it’s just going to be the two of you.”

“I’ll ask her tonight if you’re sure.”

“I’m most definitely sure. And I know that they’d all be happy to meet you,” Tyson says, smiling. “I know my mom and sister have lots of plant questions, anyways.”

“Oh, well, I can definitely help with that,” Avery replies, laughing.

During the rest of lunch, Avery does her best to make sure Tyson doesn’t notice that she’s feeling a little off. She doesn’t want to ruin the mood by bringing up her mom. It doesn’t feel right, and it’s not really something she feels ready to bring up quite yet. Eventually, she’ll have to say something, especially as their relationship gets more serious. For now, though, it can wait a little bit longer.

When Avery gets to her apartment complex, she grabs the mail before heading up to her place. As she sorts through the mail, she notices a letter addressed to her from an address she hasn’t seen in a long time. Her blood runs cold, knowing that this is just another attempt from her mom to reach out. Even though Avery knows better than to open it, she does it anyways once she gets to the safety of her own room.

Dearest Avery,

You must know that what I do is purely out of love for you. Every sacrifice your father and I made for you to have a better life was because we love you. You’ll always be our daughter, even if we aren’t comfortable with all of your choices. All we want is to see you during the holidays and reconnect, and become a family once again.

There is no need to be angry over one conversation so many years ago. It’s not healthy to be bitter over this, especially when it concerns family. Ignoring your father and I will not make anything better. So please come home, and we promise there will be no talk of any past choices.

Love,

Your mother

As Avery finishes reading the letter, she feels tears streaming down her face. Despite everything, her mom still can’t understand why she feels so angry. It’s always been about ignoring the reality of the situation and pretending like things never happened. This is the final straw, though.

It hurts, but she can feel herself come to accept that it’s time to truly cut her mom out of her life. There was always a small part of Avery that hoped that things would get better, and it would probably always be there, no matter how much she wants it to disappear. But the likelihood of that happening now isn’t worth keeping any line of contact open.

“Avery?” Luna asks quietly, poking her head into Avery’s room. “What happened?”

“Just...mom sent a letter,” Avery answers softly, holding the letter out.

Luna skims through it quickly, frowning. “Well, glad I have even more reason to never go home again. At least I have you to do holiday stuff with.”

“Yeah, that’s not too bad, I guess,” Avery says. “Oh! That reminds me. Tyson wanted to know if you wanted to do Christmas Eve with his family this year.”

“He wants to do Christmas with us? Doesn’t he only have like...three days off?”

Avery smiles as she wipes away the last of her tears. “Yeah, he said that he wanted to spend time with us and he knows that it’s just the two of us.”

“I guess I can’t say no to that,” Luna sighs. “But are you seriously okay? This is a lot.”

“I really am, I promise,” Avery says. “I’m angry, but I swear I’m okay.”

“If you say so,” Luna replies, frowning.

“Look, I get to spend time with you, Tyson, and his family,” Avery says, smiling and laughing a little. It’s been a long time since we’ve gotten to do proper holidays, you know?”

Luna gives her a look. “I haven’t seen you smile like that in a while. It’s a good look on you.”

“I mean...I - he just makes me happy,” Avery replies, flustered. “But you didn’t answer the question.”

“If he doesn’t mind, then yeah, it would be really nice,” Luna says. “You know, it’s a shame that the fire alarms here are so sensitive, otherwise I’d suggest burning the letter.”

Avery lets out a sharp laugh. “That would definitely be satisfying. I guess we can just throw it in the trash.”

“Not as satisfying, but I suppose it works,” Luna sighs dramatically.

EPILOGUE

Spending Christmas Eve with Tyson’s family was better than anything Avery expected. It’s been so long since either she or Luna have spent any holiday with their family that both of them feel completely overwhelmed. Even though Tyson said that they didn’t need to bring anything for dinner, they still brought a couple of pies for dessert, feeling like it’s the least they could do for intruding on family time.

“How many times do I have to keep telling you that you’re not intruding?” Tyson says, rolling his eyes. “I want you here and my family is excited to meet both of you.”

“I know, it still feels like a lot, though,” Avery replies quietly.

“Is Tyson bothering you too much?” Kacey asks, walking into the kitchen. “Because if so, I have plenty of questions about the plant you sent me.”

“Oh, sure, I can do my best to help,” Avery answers.

Talking with Kacey helps calm a lot of Avery’s nerves, managing to fall into familiar territory. She’s not sure how much time passes, but before Avery knows it, it’s time for dinner. Surprisingly, she and Luna are folded into conversations fairly easily. As much as she might not want to admit it, Avery missed having dinners like this, being surrounded by people she truly enjoyed the company of.

Before Avery knows it, she and Luna are headed back to their apartment. The whole day felt wonderful, and she knows that it’ll be something that she remembers for a long time. Despite that, she knows that for most people, a dinner like that is unremarkable because their family has always been there for them. She knows that Tyson falls under that umbrella, and she doesn’t think he’d notice how wistful Avery felt the whole night.

However, he does bring it up when they’re making dinner in his apartment only a week later.

“So, um, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to, but was everything okay during Christmas? You just seemed...not sad, that’s not the right word. I guess you just seemed a little bit off,” Tyson says.

Avery shrugs, trying to act nonchalant. “It’s just been a while since I’ve done a family dinner. I didn’t go home during the holidays in university and I wanted to stay with Luna this year.”

“And you didn’t go home...because you didn’t want to go home? Or it just didn’t work out that way?” Tyson inquires.

“I didn’t want to,” Avery whispers. “My mom and dad...they’ve been angry about me being bi for a long time. They said it ruined their family image, whatever the fuck that means.”

“Shit - why did you never tell me?”

Avery sighs. “I was planning on telling you, the time just never felt right. It’s such a weird thing to say and bring up. Like surprise, I don’t get along with my family! And I guess I felt like you might take it the wrong way as well, even though I know you don’t care.”

“I wish you would have told me so that I could have been there for you. We’re in this life together now, and I want to do whatever I can to make things better for you.”

“I’ve just been hiding it for so long that it’s weird to talk about,” Avery chokes out, holding back tears.

“Babe,” Tyson whispers, before pulling her into a tight hug. “I’m here for you no matter what. You don’t have to say any more, not until you’re ready.”

“Thank you,” Avery replies softly. “This is a nice hug, but you should let go, otherwise the veggies are going to burn.”

Tyson lets out a laugh. “Okay, okay, point taken.”

When he pulls back, Avery smiles softly. Even though she knows Tyson would take everything in stride, it still feels nice knowing that he’s there for her and isn’t forcing her to say more than she wants to. One day she’ll tell him the whole story, but that can wait for another day. For right now, she wants to just enjoy this moment here with him.

#tyson jost #colorado avalanche #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #tyson jost imagine #colorado avalanche imagine #mine #fic

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wherearemyglassesbro · 3 years

Note

How did each character get their vision in your Genshin Impact AU?

YEAHHH BABEY LETS GOOOO!!!

Some key terms so everyone can be included even if they haven’t played Genshin!

Visions: “The one thing that is known for certain is that Visions are conduits for their associated elements. However, the means by which Visions allow their wielders to harness elemental energy, and what is exchanged for this power, is a mystery.... When a god has deemed a person worthy of a Vision, there are two ways they can receive it: A new Vision appears before them in the blink of an eye, or an old Vision from a now-deceased person can be reawakened by resonating with someone else. It is also suggested that an active Vision can be abandoned and taken up by another person, but how exactly that works is unknown.” -the Genshin Wiki

Mondstadt: modeled after Germany

Liyue: modeled after China

Knights of favonious: an organization of knights within Mondstat, they act as peacekeepers! Helpful people!!

Hilichurls and Ruin Guards: common enemies found in the wild

Abyss Order: an organization of evil, fuzzy mages

The Fatui: all you really need to know about them is that they’re also an evil organization but...humans not monsters

Cryo: ice, Anemo: air(I realize I forgot this in the last post oops!), Geo: rock, Pyro: fire, Electro: lightning, Hydro: water, Dendro: nature

——————————————

Arthur(Dendro): Arthur never thought he’d get a vision. His oldest brother, Alastair, got a Pyro vison when he was 10. And his youngest brother Peter got an Anemo vision when he was 7. Arthur waited and waited and was totally convinced that he’d be visionless. But that’s fine! Plenty of people don’t have visions. His own parents and uncles didn’t even have visions! When Arthur left home at 17 to go to Mondstat to study, his travels were extremely lonely. He had to walk the whole way there, living with just the clothes on his back and a rickity tent to sleep in. He lost motivation about halfway through his trip, breaking down crying beside a big, mossy rock. The Dendro Archon pitied him and slipped a vision into his hand while he rubbed his face. The moss from the rock settled around his shoulders to hug him...And he was just...overcome with joyful sobs. The fact that the Dendro Archon had so much faith in him??? Wow...That’s what kept him going all the way to Mondstat, trudging up the stone steps to collapse on the smooth stairs of the Knights of Favonious’s Headquarters. He’s worked for them since then, receiving tutoring and now working full time as a translator :) since he received his vision, he’s grown leaves out of his head and his freckles turned green. He was born with snake eyes :)

Alfred(Pyro): Alfred and Matthew got their visions the same day. The two were allowed to go adventuring by their parents. They could go anywhere they want as long as they got home bedore dinner time! Alfred, the more energetic of the two, would always run ahead and drag Matt around to new, interesting outside their city. They often went to play on nearby ancient ruins, digging up old artifacts and playing with broken swords they found in the dirt. But one day, they stumbled upon a ruin guard. The machine sat, covered in vines. They assumed it was no longer in service and Matt climbed on top of it to try to pry the head open but uhhh it came to life and literally tried to kill them. It threw the twins hard against a wall and it crumbled, falling on top of them. The gods saw what happened and froze time for a few seconds to place visions into their hands. Alfred woke up very scared but this new power...was reassuring. He realized the gods were on their side! That was the best day of his life. He still goes on adventures! That day inspired him to keep going and to help others :)

Matthew(Anemo): Matthew received his vision at the same time as Alfred. The two were in a great deal of danger and the gods really did take pity upon them. But the Pyro Archon did not think that Matthew would be a good candidate for a Pyro vision. So the Anemo Archon stepped in and bestowed an Anemo vision upon the older twin. Matt was quite literally blown away by his own newfound ability to wield the wind. Together, the twins were able to create a fire tornado which blew the ruin guard off its feet, giving them enough time to sprint away. The slow, rusty beast unable to follow. That day was pretty traumatic for Matt because....he almost died....But hes grown so much since then. The twins were only 12 when they got their visions. He still has no desire for hand to hand combat, that’s why he practices alchemy :)

Francis(Hydro): I find every excuse to bring Jeanne into my AUs just to give Francis some spicy trauma (that’s a joke please don’t come at me). Francis was visionless but Jeanne was gifted her Vision from the Hydro Archon when she was 10. Jeanne was noble, loyal, helpful and kind. The Hydro Archon thought she was worthy of their power! Jeanne got very sick when she was 12 and her condition worsened until she peacefully passed when she was 15. Francis was ruined by her death. Her parents have him her vison. It died with her but carrying it with him and hearing the little bell on the end jingle was comforting. The following year, on the anniversary of her death, he sat under the moonlight singing her favorite song. The Hydro Archon’s heart broke for him and as he sang, they deactivated the vision. Francis cradled it in his hands and cried, his tears dripping down his face to collect in a small floating pool over the ground. In her honor, he learned to artfully wield water, having it swirl around him and his crew while they performed. Even though he knows the Hydro Archon brought it back for him, he likes to believe that Jeanne is providing him with strength and support from beyond :’)

Ivan(Cryo): Ivan has been a nomad almost his entire life. He travels all around to study hilichurls and their way of life. He’s lived with tribes of hilichurls, learned to write and speak their language, learned their style of finger paintings and carvings, cooked with them...Hes participated in almost all aspects of hilichurl life and in return, he provides them with plenty of boar meat and protection. He lived with a tribe in Dragonspine, the coldest area in all of Mondstat, and despite frostbite nipping at his fingers, he’d still go out of his way to hunt for the tribe. While hunting, he saw a saw a dull blue blinking under the snow. He stuck his hand down there and found a woman who had frozen to death. Her ghost greeted him and assured him that she wouldn’t hurt him. She explained that she’d been missing for years and thanked him for finally finding her. She gave him her Cryo vision and he went down the mountain to get others to come back with him to retrieve her so she could be properly buried at the Church of Mondstat where she belonged. Now Ivan can shatter ice at his own will, the woman had been very weak with her vison but he built it up to be stronger and work with his own style of fighting and living. When he lives with tribes in warmer areas, he makes popsicles for the hilichurls so they can cool down :D

Yao(Dendro): Yao grew up waaaay outside of Liyue Harbor. He wasn’t rich but he wasn’t poor. His grandparents had a silk flower farm where they just grew tons of silk flowers, even making their own perfumes too. Yao’s parents inhereted the land when they got married and intended for Yao to carry on the legacy of the Wang family perfumery but the Fatui seized the land and kicked the Wang family off of it. His grandparents passed and his parents retired to Qingce Village to live out the rest of their years peacefully. They offered for Yao to come but he refused, wanting to return their name to its rightful glory! He worked in many shops as a delivery boy, cleaned the streets, took commissions for deliveries outside of Liyue Harbor. He worked HARD in order to buy a shop right in the center of the city. The Dendro Archon admired his perseverance despite him being so young! And while he slept, he reactivated Yao’s grandmother’s Dendro vision, leaving it on the pillow next to his head. Yao nearly passed out when he woke up and saw it!! It was the surprise of a lifetime! He ran as fast as he could until he was out of the city, standing on one of the rocky hills overlooking Liyue Harbor. He held his grandma’s jade polearm in his hands and slammed it into the rocks, screaming joyfully as they split and vines rose up around him, flying every which and cracking like whips! He’d learn to control the power passed down to him and make his grandparents proud :’)

Kiku(Electro): Kiku’s father is a badass. He lost his eye in battle and keeps his vision orb in his eye socket. So he has one, normal brown eye and one bright purple eye with the Electro symbol in it. If that isn’t intimidating....I don’t know what would be. Kiku always wanted to be like him, his father is his role model. He doesn’t have a mom so his dad raised him to be a badass but...a more subtle badass. Kiku’s family was apparently full of Electro vision wielders so he hoped he would get one too! His father told him about his uncles and grandparents having Electro visions and how they worked together as an unstoppable team! The way Kiku earned his vision...Was not what he had in mind. He worked as a patrol soldier when he was 18, making sure the border of his country was safe. He and 12 others were approached by Fatui guards and pretty much....slaughtered. Kiku’s close friend had gotten his Vision when he was 8 after inheriting it from his great grandmother. It was apparent that his friend wouldn’t make it. After a tearful goodbye, his friend passed his Vision onto him. Kiku wears his vision proudly, a symbol of eternal trust and friendship. Kiku now works with the Fatui, profiting of off their greed more than even they know. He hates them but by working with them, he’s keeping the locals safe.

Lovino(Pyro): Lovi’s story is kinda sad. Grandpa Roma’s vision was meant to be his because he’s the first born grandson but the vision rejected him. It never turned on. Lovino became so frustrated that he passed it over to Feli...And it came to life within a week. Lovino felt betrayed, angry and resentful towards his brother. It wasn’t fair!!! How could this happen? So instead, Lovi rejected the Hydro Archon and built a shrine for the Pyro Archon. He made offerings of flowers, stew, chili peppers, wine, anything he could get his hands on. He sat in saunas to develop a tolerance for heat and trained until he was almos passed out. He prayed and did everything he could to get the Pyro Archons attention but still, he didn’t get a vision. By now, Feli had his own vision for three years and was mastering archery. Lovino had enough. He gathered twigs and weeds, stomping out into a clearing “Hey! I know you can hear me! What do I have to do to prove myself to you? I’ve done everything I can! Are you too afraid to give it to me? Huh??? Pussy! Fucking let me-“ uh oh. Now the Pyro Archon was mad. They decided to give him a chance, they could always take it away or kill him if he failed. The vision appeared in his palm and the weeds in his hands burst into flames. He screamed in agony, his arms on fire now. He kept off of a nearby cliff down into the ocean to put out the flames....but he had it. A vision...He’s been ruthless since then. Owning a flower shop and kicking ruin guards asses when they stomp around in the flower fields

Feliciano(Hydro): Feli has always felt guilty about his vision. It was meant to be Lovino’s but it awakened for him instead. He trained when Lovi wasn’t around, everything he did was subtle and quiet because every glimpse of his vision angered his brother. Feli didn’t want that, he wanted them to be close again :( he got lonely when his brother was gone and sound talk to his Vision the way he used to talk to Grandpa Roma. He’s grateful that he received his grandpas vison though!! It was very powerful when it was with Roma but with Feli, it’s significantly weaker because he just doesn’t have the same battle experience. He doesn’t even want it anyway. He is a peaceful guy who enjoys archery and singing in the church choir :) he has no desire for violence the way his brother does.

Ludwig(Geo): Ludwig inherited his fathers vision. He’s still alive but after losing an arm while on knight duty, he retired and gave his vision to Ludwig. The vision easily accepted Lud as its new owner, glowing brightly every time he touched it. The Geo Archon likes strong, loyal and intelligent people and Lud perfectly fits those preferences. Lud was 18 when he got his father’s vision so by now he had already been a knight in training for the knights of favonious! After intense training and an obscene amount of testing, he became a full blown knight capable of fighting monsters when need be. He’s very respected by the civilians of Mondstat and truly makes his father proud.

Gilbert(Pyro): Gilbert has broken many laws in his time and breaking into a very dangerous ruin was probably the best thing he ever did. He found tons of crispy, burnt skeletons in there and lots of fire flowers who spat sparks at him as he walked by. In a bigger flower...He saw a glint and thought ‘Aw yeah!! There’s a gemstone in there! That’s gonna be worth so much money!!!’ So he stuck his hand right into the smoldering flower, getting 4th degree burns as he ripped an ancient vision out of it. The thing had to be centuries old. It’s gold casing was bent and covered in dried blood both Gil’s and whoever else had owned it before. When the vison came to life in his hand, he could feel tbe the energy within was very old... it was later determined that it was likely one of the first batch of visions gifted to the human race by the Archons! Historians tried to buy it from him. It for once, Gil set his greed aside and kept the vison for himself! The vision radiated happy energy at that so he assumed that it was happy he kept it

Please ignore the spelling errors or I will barf 🙂

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thebisexualdogdad · 4 years

Text

Malec, Clizzy and Jimon as parents AU

Co written with @inhumanshadows

· So Alec and Magnus have 2 boys (Rafael and Max), Simon and Jace only have 1 child (Stephen) And Clary and Izzy have 3 kids (twins Cora and Iris, Liam)

· Magnus and Alec are the first to start their family so their son's are the oldest, then Clary and Izzy's twin girls and their son is a year younger than Jace and Simon's son

· Malec's sons are personality wise just like their dads

· Very smart, very stubborn and very sassy

· Clary and Izzy's daughters are a force to be reckon with and they can kick the boy's asses any day of the week

· And they protect their little brother.

· Jace and Simon's son is just a little shit who's always playing pranks on people

· He loves pulling pranks.

· All the clizzy kids can cook. (Isabelle finally admitting she’s not best around a kitchen)

· And the Lightwood-Bane boys are so freaking smart, Rafael is already on track to taking over as the head of the Institute from Alec when he's old enough

· Maryse has her hands full with all these grandkids and she spoils all of them

· Oh the sheer amount of spoiling from her alone

· Malec have the strictest household, Clizzy are in the healthy balance and Jimon have literally no rules

· Jimon has rules put in place by Clizzy and Malec

· Stephen is not afraid of Alec at all and Jace is all proud like that's my boy

· Alec has a realization of terror that Stephen is very much like Jace

· And Izzy thinks it's hilarious

· She has a framed picture of Alec’s face

· All the couples switch off taking care of the kids for date night once a week

· Jimon babysitting means sugar crashes.

· Clizzy babysitting ends up with simple cooking lessons or art projects or more likely both.

· Malec babysitting means awesome bedtime stories with added magic cause of Uncle Magnus

· One time Stephen got into a little trouble with some graffiti he did on the subway walls so Clary called in retired cop Grandpa Luke to set him straight

· Clary is stern and responsible on the outside but after she pulls her nephew aside and gushes over the art

· And both Simon and Jace are like oh thank god we don't have to discipline him ourselves

· Clary: “bitch you thought....” and hands them parenting books

· Cora and Iris are fascinated by the mundane world and have snuck out a few times to go dance at clubs

· They end up at pandemonium a lot. And Uncle Magnus has the place spelled to let him know.

· Magnus may be the cool uncle but he does give them the ultimatum to tell their moms themselves before he does

· Liam is 100% like Clary. Covered in paint or chalk pastels.

· The boy is a total artist prodigy

· Izzy is a bit worried when she thinks he hasn’t inherited much from her. But Liam is killer at darts and takes up archery. Uncle Alec sheds a tear

· Cora and Iris also take after Izzy in been highly knowledgeable with weapons which the boys are all terrified of

· They pray for whomever messes with them

· Rafael and Max are more inherently book smart than physically inept but Alec trains with them everyday

· Clizzy’s children all argue over possession of Izzy’s electrum whip.

· The amount of times any of the kids have broken into Magnus' apothecary supplies and accidently blew stuff up or drugged themselves

· He has to put non lethal magic to keep them out of it. Stephen isn’t the bravest but does his best. And Jace is so the overprotective parent

· Everyone is shocked at how protective Jace ended up being, even Simon is more relaxed than he is

· "They're so fragile! Do you know how easy it is to break a kid?"

· Simon tells Stephen to keep an eye on Jace when he babysits and Simon has to work.

· Simon "babe please don't feed them pizza and ice cream again Alec's gonna be so mad"

· Birthday parties are always awesome.

· Even Alec enjoys them as well as family barbecues

· The kids get really spoiled by Grandma Jocelyn and Grandpa luke.

· Luke is the grill master at barbecues and Jocelyn slips every kid some money for candy and junk food

· Jocelyn teaches the kids about the old days of the shadowhunters.

· Rafael and Max speak multiple languages and will speak in another language around Stephens to make him mad

· He gets back at them by making references they don’t get

· Rafael and Max are just as clueless about pop culture as their dad's meanwhile Stephen lives off it

· When the kids are old enough to start dating Clizzy are excited, Malec are worried and Jimon are 50/50

· The twins have a very open relationship with their moms so they can talk about the people they have crushes on

· Alec on the other hand is like oh no i didn't sign up for this

· Alec: “I didn’t sign up for emotions and relationship talk.”

· Magnus: “just wait till the sex talk

· "nope, Jace can handle that"

· "you really want Jace to give our kids the sex talk?"

· "well he gave me the talk when we were they're age"

· Magnus is like 😑 Or *looks into camera* “this boi...”

· there’s conflicts about the kids going to school in the mundane vs the shadow world

· Clary and Simon obviously want them to experience the mundane world like they did, Alec, Izzy and Jace want homeschool like they did and Magnus is like why do they need school again?

· This leads to immense arguing. Until Jocelyn to the rescue: “they go to mundane school and learn about the shadow world at night like Clary”

· You can’t tell me that Clizzy didn’t start their own inclusive fashion label

· The kids of course designed some of the fashion labels clothing and happily promote the label.

· Cora and Iris are some of the most popular kids at school so everyone wants to wear Clizzy's stuff because they are

· Liam is popular in his own circles. He’s one of the top artists at the school.

· Stephen is the “bad influence”

· Rafael and Max get straight A's and are at the top of their classes

· The others have subjects they excel in and ones they help each other in. Although Stephen while a smart kid has some focusing problems

· All the pta mom's have a crush on Jace

· They all end up going to colleges in New York to stay close to the Institute

· They all live in a shared loft which, thanks to magic fits them all. And they have to periodically make sure the other eats

· Of course Rafael make a chore chart which Stephen doesn't follow at all

· Rafael's like: “guys chore wheel!!”

·Stephen: “fuck ya chore wheel!”

· One night the twins come home from class and the boys had stolen their face masks and were having a spa night

· They’re like: “we should be mad... but they’re taking care of themselves...”

· They then take the boys shopping for spa day supplies tailored to each of them. They all get together and relax after stressful weeks

· And all the couples gush about how cute their kids are

· So many baby pictures

· And they all embarrass the kids on social medias

· Sole reason any of the parents have social media

· Clary, Izzy and Simon all leave supportive and loving comments on the kids posts, Magnus leaves historical facts retaining to whatever they posted about, Alec leaves the randomest comments that no one understands and Jace just leave troll comments

· And clary’s Insta is full of candids of the kids and the fam

· Alec posts once every 6 months and it's usually of the kids training

· Magnus has a lot of photos with the kids and the chairman. As well as local visits to cat shelters

· Izzy's Insta has a theme and is organized and model style photos

· Simon posts very artsy hipster pictures of New York and inspirational quotes

· He also has pics of his boys at amusement parks. And the first big family trip to Disney was a sight

· Meanwhile Jace's insta is an actual disaster and doesn't even put captions on most his posts

· Simon and Stephen give Jace a crash course on insta

· One time Alec saw a beer bottle in a story and freaked out, Magnus had to stop him from going to the loft to scold them

· “Alec... they’re grown ups... as much as you don’t want to admit it.”

#shadowhunters imagine #alec lightwood imagine #magnus bane imagine #isabelle lightwood imagine #clary fray imagine #simon lewis imagine #jace wayland imagine #alec lightwood x magnus bane #clary fray x isabelle lightwood #simon lewis x jace wayland #malec #malec fic #clizzy #clizzy fic #jimon #jimon fic #headcanons #co write #co written

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faedawayyy · 3 years

Text

DALLAS JACKSON.

my forever obsession. i feel like his story and margo’s story go hand in hand and when they’re put together, it makes so much sense why they are the way they are.

TW: DRUGS, ALCOHOL, VERBAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE

CHILDHOOD (0 - 11)

dallas is the youngest of two. he was born in april and from the moment he was born, he became the centre of his mum’s universe. he never did anything to be that way; she always told him that he came at just the right time. he never really knew what that meant but it’d end up being the main thing that sent so many other things spiralling in the wrong direction as he grew up.

anywhere his mother went, dallas would be taken too. their parents couldn’t go on dinner dates without dallas coming along in his pushchair while margo stayed with her nanny. he’d go to lunch dates with friends and parties he was too young to be at. his mother was incredibly attached but to him, it felt like love and what child doesn’t want that? she’d suffered with postpartum after margo and dallas was her chance to redo motherhood the “right” way.

dallas never saw much of his dad growing up and when he did, it was during the late hours of the nigh when he’d come home in his suit looking tired. around the same time dallas would go to bed. they were fine though and had a better relationship than margo did with her parents.

dallas spent very little time with anybody his own age. he was desperate to be close to margo but jealousy pushed them away. he’d spend most of his time going to events with his parents and being around other adults.

he loved school because it gave him independence. he was free from his mother’s attachment and he got to make friends with kids his own age. he loved maths, sports and music the most; he was a member of many sports teams and also took part in any school concert that came his way. he was best on the drums and didn’t start singing until much later.

spending a lot of time at home meant that he got to see his dad’s career grow and has more happy memories of his childhood and his parent’s marriage than margo does. however, his mother’s obsession with him did used to make him feel like his dad resented him in a weird way, though. it never showed in huge ways and he came to the conclusion it was just in his head. he was only 11, after all.

TEEN YEARS (12-18)

high school started out weird for dallas. knowing who he is now, people would expect him to have been popular from the get go but he actually really struggled to make friends. spending most of his childhood with adults over 30, he struggled to connect with teenagers - and especially boys - his own age.

he did get in with a group of guys but he was very clearly the weakest link or the one they’d bully and pick on just because they could. he’d shrug it off as a joke but it made him hate school. a lot. it was in the 12 - 14 year old range that he stopped doing sports or putting a lot of effort into school. it didn’t effect his grades because he’s naturally gifted in academics, but he lost his love for learning and school in general.

dallas spent most of his younger teen years not being invited out and watching his friends have fun without him. he still went to events with his parents just to get out of the house. agreeing to sing at a christmas party led him to signing a contract with charles hamilton’s music label. over a summer, he made his debut EP and released a single.

he blew up. almost instantly. the song ‘one time’ was a hit and he was almost certain that this would earn him respect at school. it turned out to be the reverse; he was mocked. people would play his songs ironically and he was called every name you could think of. he even got beat up a few times because of it. it made him miserable and he begged charles to terminate his contract. that never happened but he never, ever wanted to make music.

studying and working on his first full length album, dallas met ruby at school at around 13 and she was the first friend he had that didn’t insist on making a joke of him. he learnt she was adopted by edwin carmichael which made her a family friend; she was the person he mainly started hanging out with and he gradually got to know her friends which opened him up to a new circle too.

separating from his first friendship group was positive, he started to love sports and music again and school became somewhere he could tolerate. he posted music online and ended up releasing ‘baby’ - another song that absolutely blew up and sent him into stardom way too early.

his mum became his manager and helped him balance school and all of his new career success, something else that earned him a string of horrible texts and comments from margo. at this point, he never saw her and she despised him for taking everything she wanted.

he didn’t have much time to think about it. the older dallas got, the more financially successful he became and by the time he hit 15, he was the highest earner in his family. at around he same time, cracks in his parents marriage was showing at home.

his dad never tried to hide the fact that he hated dallas for earning more than him and for a good few years, his father had control over his money. anything he earned went straight to mr jackson. dallas never saw a penny...and because his dad had a gambling addiction, a lot of it went down the drain.

by the time dallas reached 18, he had multiple offers from talent academies and academic universities. he originally chose to go to yale and study physics. he’d had a taste of fame and the music industry and didn’t want it.

dallas’s father had put money aside for him when he was 18 for college. so, he used that to pay his tuition fees. however, after only one term, the account was drained and he didn’t have the money to stay. he worked jobs at bars and shops to pay his way but one job payed more than most and that was drug dealing. not hard to come by on a campus of over privileged kids. however, he was quickly caught and asked to leave.

dallas came home to a completely different environment. his family were bankrupt and his dad had sold the law firm. they were living on loans and their parent’s marriage became massively toxic. he saw his dad beat his mum, multiple times, and when he rushed to defend her - which he would every time - he’d get the same treatment.

he felt like he didn’t have the option to move away like margo, who would take care of their mum? that’s what drove his decision to stay local and go to st judes. but, he hated margo to leave him to deal with his dad’s mess and find a way...on his own...to get them money. suddenly, he was trying to find a way to pay rent, his sister’s rehab bills AND tuition for st judes so it was back to dealing.

YOUNG ADULT (18 - 23)

easily the hardest years of his life. his young adult years have been stress, after stress, after stress, but he’s also not one to ask for help. still being massively successful in music, he threw himself into his rising fame with his albums ‘BELIEVE’ and ‘PURPOSE.’

any chance he got to act like a kid and forget about the responsibility he has, he takes it. whether that’s getting into petty fights, dating around, getting too drunk or acting impulsively.

pressure from both being a big name at the academy and from his family has driven him to darker places. he’s struggled - multiple times - to have healthy romantic connections because he’s used to people being dependant on him; starting with his own mother. the minute somebody gets too attached or asks too much of him, he’ll lash out. on the flip side though, he likes to be needed.

mental pressure is mainly what led his last relationship to become abusive and after that, he hit rock bottom. believe it or not, it’s definitely learnt behaviour and the last position he wanted to find himself in.

dallas’s mental health has taken the biggest blow. after a handful of seriously failed relationships and having no home life anymore, he was diagnosed with depression mid-2020. something else he rejects intensely. he refuses to have the same diagnosis as his dad and refuses to speak of it or tell anyone or ask for help.

TW: SUICIDE

2020 and early 2021 had him make two separate suicide attempts that were recorded in the press as drug overdoses. the truth of the matter is that he isn’t an addict. he takes drugs but isn’t a slave to them. he doesn’t want to ruin his life or become numb to it; just end it.

END OF TW

in more recent months, dallas has picked up on his music career again and is STILL trying his best to support his parents and pay margo’s withstanding rehab bills. after being in hospital, the academy have forced him to go to therapy, something he does privately and this accounts for him slowly improving in his behaviour again but he’s definitely forever on thin ice with how his life’s going.

#character saves #my favourite always

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monstersandmaw · 5 years

Text

Male hermit crab mer x reader (nsfw). Mermay story #3

Edit which I’m including in all my works after plagiarism and theft has taken place: I do not give my consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted anywhere. They are copyrighted and belong to me.

Eep, sorry it's a bit later than I wanted, and it's technically not May any more, but I got sick, and I'm still writing those last few hand-written stories for you.

This story got a great reaction from my Patreon supporters, and he’s been a subject of discussion over on my Patreon discord server too! I’m really excited to introduce him to you folks now too!

***

To say that you’d needed money was an understatement.

You’d quit your job at the supermarket because of your arsehole manager, and your bank account was down to single digits as the start of the summer rolled by. You realised you had to do something before you starved to death and couldn’t make your rent. As if by divine providence, your eye caught an advertisement in the window of the local newsagent’s as you went to buy a pint of milk on evening.

Yours was one of the parts of the city that was less populated by humans and more by non-humans, and as such, you’d become a familiar face to the minotaur who ran the shop. With a soft smile, he watched you staring wistfully at the advert on the back of the door, and when you’d not moved for a good few minutes, he said in his big, deep, gentle voice, “You thinking of doing it?”

“Hmm? Oh…” you said, startling and glancing round at him before letting your eyes return to the poster.

With a picture of a wide sandy beach, the “Starfall Springs’ Summer Kids’ Activities Camp” was advertised in bold colours, promising ‘activities and games for all abilities, treasure hunts, learn to swim, surf, snorkel, and even ride, play a variety of games, music, and take part in story telling, basic survival and outdoor education courses, and art classes’.

“I’m not a kid,” you snorted playfully, and the minotaur laughed.

He flicked his white ear and said, “If you’re looking to get involved though, my cousin is running one of the outdoor classes and he’s one of the organisers. He said they’re kind of understaffed this year.”

“Oh man,” you groaned. “I could use the money, for sure, but I can’t teach swimming or bug hunting or whatever…”

“You could take the art classes, or just help out with some of the other activities?” he suggested. “I actually did it a couple of years ago, and it was really fun. They focus a lot on breaking down barriers between the species, and trying to get everyone involved. I think you’d be great at it. Let me give you my cousin’s number…”

He scribbled down a phone number and the name ‘Dane’, and handed it to you on a scrap of paper.

“Thanks,” you said, gratitude swelling inside you, and no small degree of hope.

With the final pay cheque that came in from your former job just in time, you payed your rent for the month and bought a ticket to Starfall Springs. You’d negotiated free accommodation in conversation with Dane, by agreeing to take on two more activities than would be normally expected of an employee. He actually agreed to pay you for the additional activities, so you were more than willing to do it. Dane seemed like a nice guy too, and he said he’d meet you at the train station and drive you over to the camp.

When you got there, you found a huge, white minotaur with a traditional ring through his black nose, wearing a baggy t-shirt and baggy football shorts, his massive hooves clopping noisily on the concrete of the station as he stepped forward to help you with your bag.

“Here, let me,” he grinned, holding out his other hand for you to shake it. “I’m Dane,” he added.

You introduced yourself and thanked him for his help.

“No problem!” he laughed, shouldering your massive sports bag as if it weighed nothing at all, and leading you out towards the station exit where a huge pickup truck waited in the sunny parking lot beyond. He set your bag down in the bed of the truck and opened the passenger door for you to climb in. “I need to do some food shopping on our way back; I hope you don’t mind? I thought maybe you could pick some stuff up for the week too…”

You nodded and settled in as he fired up the truck and drove from the station on the outskirts of the old town towards the centre. He explained where things were and pointed out some landmarks, and before you knew it, he’d pulled to a halt in the little car park at the back of the grocery store in the centre.

You followed the massive minotaur inside, his shock of thick, ice-white hair gleaming in the mid-afternoon sun, and the moment the quaint little bell above the door dinged at your entrance, he waved merrily at the gnoll behind the counter.

“Hiya, Sorrel,” he called and she beamed him a toothy grin. To your surprise, he introduced you as well, and added, “We managed to get ourselves another helper down at the beach camp.”

“Oh brilliant!” she said. “I’ll be bringing Ginger over for her first day tomorrow. She can’t wait to get involved in the sports, and honestly, the little scamp is climbing up the walls… I can’t wait for you lot to tire her out for me!”

You chuckled awkwardly, feeling a little knot of apprehension starting to form in your gut. You'd never done anything quite like this before, but you were pretty confident you would do alright. How hard could it be after all?

You knew that the camp provided lunch every day, but you’d have to get your own breakfast and supper, so you stocked up, and when you were both done, you and Dane headed over to the coast.

A gasp of awe and surprise left you as the pickup rumbled down the track and turned the corner to reveal the wide, sandy beach stretching out for miles before the softly lapping waves just kissed it at the shore. The tide was out, and wading birds dabbled at the far off tide line.

“Holy…” you breathed, and Dane chuckled.

The camp’s headquarters were set back from the beach itself, and it appeared to have been the old coastguards’ station before it had been converted into the activity centre. Not far off was a ramshackle old beach hut, rather larger than you were used to and painted in faded pastel colours which looked like the paint had seen one too many winters before being refreshed.

Outside the hut was the most remarkable merfolk creature you’d ever seen.

With a large, vivid orange shell that shimmered like mother of pearl, was what appeared to be ostensibly a hermit crab, except that he had the torso of a human man. His skin was pale, his body slim, and his hair was a brilliant, flaming red, tied up in a scruffy bun with sections flopping about in the stiff breeze that blew in off the distant sea. He seemed absorbed in the humble task of hanging shirts up to dry on a little washing line which was attached at one end to his wooden shack and at the other to a small pole driven into the sand a short distance away.

“Ah!” the white minotaur chuckled as he parked up and saw you staring at the hermit crab mer with astonishment written clear across your face. “That’d be Leo. He’s the camp organiser, and the one who started it all off five years ago.” Dane continued to watch your face and laughed again. “Never seen an arthropodal mer, I take it,” he snorted.

“No,” you said. “I haven’t. I didn’t even know that they existed… I mean… that’s really cool?”

“I’ll tell him you think he’s cool,” Dane said as he hopped out and closed the door. “He’ll love that.”

“Oh god, don’t embarrass me on my first day here…”

Dane’s booming laughter made the merman look up and tilt his head curiously to one side.

You saw as he turned that he had two pairs of rather chunky, armoured, articulated legs which supported most of the weight of his shell, and two larger, clawed legs which he used to propel himself forward. In the same way that a drider’s upper body began at the hips, so the ‘arthropodal’ crab-like mer’s human torso rose from the hips to reveal a lean upper body that made you want to bite your lip and look away. Or maybe just keep staring.

He waved and a broad, almost goofy grin split across his face. “Hey!” he called towards the pair of you.

“Alright?” Dane bellowed at him across the distance.

Leo nodded and then turned his gaze to you.

“You wanna go meet him now while I take the stuff into the house?” Dane asked, already with his huge hands around the handles of about six grocery bags.

“Um… sure?” you said.

Trotting down the little boardwalk path through the narrow, grassy dune, you felt a bit silly, but the movement burned off most of the adrenaline and by the time you’d reached him, you felt pretty confident. “Hi,” you said as he turned to face you, and you realised as he did that actually he was quite tall.

He stuck out his hand and grinned, revealing little dimples in his pale, immensely freckled cheeks, and, craning your neck up, you shook his hand. “I’m Leo,” he said. “You must be the extra helper that Dane said he’d managed to rustle up from the city?”

“Yeah,” you said, awkwardly tacking your name on the end.

Leo released his grip on you, and at that moment, his hair came loose from the bun and blew right across his face. The hair-tie fell to the sand a little way away, and as he swept his hair back off his sharply handsome face, you both bent to pick it up at the same time.

And inevitably, you cracked heads.

At the impact, you toppled backwards onto the hard sand, and he yipped in embarrassment, darting forwards. “Oh gosh!” he gasped. “I’m so sorry. Are you alright? Here…” and he held out his hand to you again. “I’m sorry,” he said.

As you laughed it off, rubbing your forehead, you looked up at him and saw that his pale skin had flushed a dark red, and that his rich brown eyes were shining almost to the point of tears. “It’s fine,” you said. “Really, I’m fine.”

“Let’s hope I’m less clumsy tomorrow,” he said. “I wouldn’t count on it though,” he added. “Ugh. Anyway, I should let you get settled in and stuff… you know.” The blush darkened even further, and you had to chuckle.

“Sure, ok. I’ll see you tomorrow,” you said, deciding to cut the poor guy some slack. For what was essentially an armoured tank on legs, he seemed surprisingly awkward and shy.

He nodded and as you walked away and turned to glance back once you hit the sand dune, you saw him smack his own forehead with the palm of his hand and shake his head, muttering, “Idiot!”

You pursed your lips and suppressed a good-hearted snicker, heading into the former coastguards’ headquarters to unpack and start thinking about some supper.

Next day saw the arrival of the first groups of children, and before they got there, all the staff for the camp assembled over breakfast to talk through the last minute details which required attention.

You would be helping in the first week of activities with the children who wanted to learn to ride, and the four centaurs who had volunteered their services for the project told you what they’d need from you. As it turned out, they wouldn’t need much, just help with tacking them up and getting the kids sorted at the start and end of the hour long lesson. You’d be needed to put out cones and poles for them to walk around or over, but other than that, you got to sit on the side and watch for a while.

After that, you would be heading over to help Leo with some of the treasure hunt and beach activities.

Your first morning passed in a whirl of activity, but luckily none of the children fell off the centaurs, and you made a particular friendship with a very cheeky and very tiny Shetland centaur named Sinnavo. She pushed her bushy blonde hair out of her face at the end of the class, once her rider had dismounted and headed over to her next session, and hissed, “Bloody hell; that human was a right little shit!”

“So much for improving inter-species relations…” you muttered out of the corner of your mouth and she snorted in delight, pawing the ground.

“Yeah, right? Anyway, that’s me done for the day. Enjoy your afternoon, my lovely! And do me a favour?”

“Sure?”

“Count how many times Crabcakes over there blushes, will you?”

“‘Crabcakes?’” you asked, eyebrows skyrocketing as you followed her gaze to the hermit crab mer who was currently corralling children of all races and species into a tight bunch so he could explain the rules of the treasure hunt.

The tiny, sassy little centaur grinned. “Well, it was that or ‘Leonardo da Pinchy, but he really hates that one.”

“Oh my god,” you muttered, stifling laughter behind your hand as Leo looked up at you, a clipboard in his hands and a suddenly suspicious look on his handsome face.

As you said your goodbyes to her and headed over, he pouted. “She called me Crabcakes, didn’t she?”

“Maybe?”

Blush one.

He rolled his beautiful eyes. “She knows I hate that, but I call her ‘Haystack Hair’, so I guess we’re even.”

“Does none of the species here get along?” you asked, only half joking, and he laughed.

“She’s been helping out with the Summer Camp since the very beginning, and she’s one of my dearest friends. Don’t worry. It’s… It’s just this ongoing thing we have. Ignore it. And… please don’t call me Crabcakes.”

You crossed your fingers over your heart, and the grin you got from him in response was enough to stall its regular rhythm.

The more time you spent with him, the more fun you seemed to have.

As he worked with the much younger children, he became bubbly and animated, and all his awkward nerves seemed to melt away. It was a delight to watch him working with them, encouraging them, emboldening them, and making them laugh with his silly expressions and goofy behaviour. He was always supportive and attentive, but he brooked no nonsense either. The group you had towards the end of the week had a gnoll with cerebral palsy and a young lizardfolk child who needed a special beach wheelchair, but he made sure they were included in every activity, and from the looks on their faces as he took his time with them, you knew they were having the time of their lives.

Human children and half-bloods, avians and felines, orcs and werewolves, disabled or not, were all allowed to be themselves, and for the most part, everyone got along. It was amazing, and you’d never seen or heard of the likes back in the city, and it gave you a thrill that seemed to set the marrow of your bones alight every time you woke in the morning and got ready for a new day.

You had Friday afternoon off, and as the last of the children left, one writhing and screaming and begging to be allowed to stay for the next week, you saw Leo stagger slightly where he stood on the beach.

Frowning, you stood and went down to meet him. “You ok?” you asked.

He laughed nervously. His cheeks were now a little sunburnt, and you'd lost count of the blushes by Tuesday morning, but you thought he looked a little pale underneath the pinkish tinge. “I… I feel a bit squiffy, that’s all… I’m good. I think… I think I might need to eat something though. Or drink.”

“Too much sun? Maybe drink first then eat?” you suggested. “You stay put and I’ll grab you a lemonade and one of those seaweed and fish snacks.”

His answering smile was so sweet that you almost reached up and kissed him, but you stopped yourself in time. You didn’t know him all that well, despite hanging out almost every lunchtime. At the end of the day he was always the last one packing up and the last one to go home, but when he did, that was it. He seemed intensely private and quiet, valuing his alone time as much as the time he spent entertaining the kids in the Summer Camp.

And you admired that about him. He knew when he had reached his limits and, shy and retiring though he was, he was not afraid to say that he needed to head off and recharge. To your relief, the other camp staff respected that too, and wished him a goodnight, but you secretly wished each time that he’d stay for just a little longer, so that you could see him out of the context of the camp’s structure.

Returning with the drink and snack, you found that he’d made his way a little further down the sandy beach towards the shore, his shell leaving a deep furrow in the hard sand as it dragged behind him. You wondered suddenly if it was particularly burdensome for him.

“Leo?” you called and he stopped, just with his pointed, crablike toes dipped in the shallowest of the calm waves.

He turned, the wind tugging playfully at his auburn hair, and your feet faltered. He was beautiful, in an androgynous, fairytale kind of way. “Thank you,” he said, taking the bottle from you and draining half of it in one go. He looked at the snack and said in a slightly vague voice, “My favourite…”

You grinned. “I noticed you always pick them at lunch time,” you admitted.

He smiled and said, “Thank you. I’m… I’m…” and then he tailed off with a sigh, turning to look back at the sea without finishing his sentence.

“Leo?” you asked after a long pause.

With his crab legs as they were at the moment, he towered over you at maybe seven or even eight feet tall, and the only part of him that you could reach was the ‘shoulder’ of his crab’s body where it joined his human torso. He was wearing a plain red t-shirt that day and the breeze made it ripple softly, revealing the pale skin of his upper half every now and again.

As you touched him, he jumped slightly, and then laughed. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m… I’m not very good with people…”

“I think you’re amazing,” you blurted. “I mean, you’re so good with all the kids and stuff, and they all loved the activities you organise…”

His smile was sad this time, and it made something crack inside you to see it on his handsome face which, until the end of the week’s activities, had so frequently been illuminated with his brilliant, happy laugh.

Leo swallowed nervously, turning the wrapped snack over in his hands without opening it, toying with it as if maybe you’d forget about him if he stayed like that long enough. Eventually, however, he huffed a shy laugh and said, “I mean… outside of that. I ‘get’ kids. I know how to make them happy. I know what to say to them. They’re simple. It’s the adults I don’t understand. I get…” he tucked his long hair behind his freckled ear and flushed. “I get nervous. I say stupid things…” He shot you a look and added, “I crack heads with them…”

You had to laugh, and at the sound of it, the nerves seemed to dissipate a little. “I think you’re doing just fine, Leo. And you get me, anyway. Although I’ve always been told I’m a bit of a child still…” you added playfully.

He laughed. “Thank you.”

“Listen, I know you tend to keep to yourself in the evenings, but are you coming to the barbecue tonight? Dane said it’s gonna be on the beach…”

Leo looked at you and licked his lips. “Are you going?”

You nodded.

“Alright,” he said. “I’ll come for a bit.”

Impulsively, you reached and took his hand, giving his fingers a squeeze before letting go and turning away. “Looking forward to it then,” you said as you left him in the waves to recharge a bit.

The torches which Dane had stuck into the sand flickered and blazed in the wind, and the tide, which had crept up the beach as the evening had slunk in, formed a beautiful backdrop to the party. The other camp staff were all there, from the centaurs to the drider and werewolf who had taken the outdoor and wildlife activities, to the naga who had led the more arty classes, and, lastly, Leo arrived just as the food was deemed ready.

He snuck in at the edge of the group and touched your shoulder lightly.

“Hey, you made it!” you grinned, and he nodded bashfully.

“Leo!” the naga yelled, raising his beer over the flickering flames in the pit at the centre of the ring of eclectic stools and stumps for sitting on.

“Hey,” Leo mumbled, and then to you he hissed, “Any second now, someone is going to make a ‘coming out of his shell’ comment, I bet you.”

“What do you bet me?” you countered playfully, and Leo blinked.

“What?”

“What are the stakes?”

“Uh…”

You chuckled and said quickly, “Ok, if someone says it, I’ll come for a walk with you along the beach to get you away from everyone. How does that sound?”

Before he could respond, the werewolf on the far side howled, “Look who's come out of his shell for the evening!”

And you and Leo burst out laughing, much to everyone’s surprise.

“You’re on,” Leo said. “Let me grab some food first, ok?”

You watched the strange way he moved, his heavy claws tugging his body and shell forwards, and a million questions burned in your mind: what did his body look like inside the shell? Did he ever leave his shell? Did he spend more time in the sea than on land normally? Did he have gills to breathe like other mer, or could he hold his breath like a selkie for ages? Where did he get a shell that big from?

You were still pondering your questions when he returned with a fish finger sandwich in one hand, and he cocked his head curiously in the way that he had which reminded you of a little puppy. “Everything alright?” he asked.

“I…” you faltered, and now it was your turn to be awkward. “I was just thinking, I guess…”

He snorted, the gesture accompanied by a lopsided smirk, and he said, “You’ll have to share some of those thoughts on our little walk, I suppose. Do you want to go now?”

“You don’t mind eating and walking at the same time?”

“Nope,” he said.

And without really excusing yourself from the milling group of other camp staff, the two of you headed down the beach together.

“So…” he said after a little while of walking in silence while he ate. “What got you so curious?”

“Oh…” you said. “I… I guess… I mean… I’ve lived in the city most of my life and while my two best friends are actually non-human, I… I’ve never actually met a merfolk before this week.”

He looked down at you and shrugged. “Makes sense. And you’ve got questions, right?”

“Yeah…” you muttered. “But I don’t know what’s, like, rude to ask or not.”

To your surprise, he barked a laugh, tossing his head back so that his long red hair fell down his back and caught in the wind. “Ask away. You can’t be more awkward than me, or even some of the kids for that matter. Unless it’s about my junk, I’ve probably heard it before from the kids.”

“Oh my god,” you blushed. “No, it’s not… I mean… I hadn’t thought about…” But you definitely had…

He raised an eyebrow at you, and in that moment you saw a whole new side to him. Mercifully, however, he let it lie.

You began your tirade of questions, and it turned out that his body under the shell was soft. Since his kind used the shells as protection, he had no need for armour plating like he had on his legs. Sometimes he did leave the shell, but mostly he had no need to.

When it came to asking about time spent on land or in the sea, he smiled wistfully. “I love the land,” he said. “Well, I mean, I love the beach. I’ve never actually been into town or anything.”

“Really?”

He grinned. “You try dragging this shell up the cliff path and see how far you get… and I’m not going without it…”

“Naked, you mean,” you laughed, and despite the way the moonlight washed most of the colour away, you could see the blush very clearly.

You paused, nearing a pile of rocks at the furthest end of the crescent shaped beach, and picked up a tiny cockle shell, rinsing the sand out in the water. Leo watched you and when you turned to look up at him, he frowned slightly, curiously.

“Where do you get your shells from?” you asked, turning the tiny shell over in your hand. “I can’t say I’ve ever seen one like yours before…”

He smiled. “There are some big creatures out there,” he said, staring at the blackness of the water, the tips of the waves silvered by moonlight.

“Yours matches your hair and your legs,” you said, eyeing the orange of his armour plating.

Leo’s flush was so deep that you almost felt the heat of it radiating out from his cheeks, and he turned away.

“What?” you said.

“It’s… Nothing…” he mumbled.

“No, go on,” you insisted. “If I said something wrong, you should tell me…”

“You didn’t,” he said, still looking away, the curtain of his hair half hiding his face. “It’s…”

“It’s what? Is it super personal to comment on someone’s shell? Is that it?”

He nodded.

“Ah. Well,” you breezed, “I do like it. I can’t hide that I think it’s beautiful, and it suits you, so… yeah.”

Leo turned back to face you and you saw something glinting in his eyes. “I’ve never met a human quite like you.”

“Is that good or bad?”

He swallowed, throat bobbing. “Good. Well, it’s bad for me because it makes me even more of a klutz, and I… oh dammit,” he hissed as his cheeks continued to blaze.

“Hey,” you said softly, reaching for his hand as it hung limply at his side. “I like that you’re so easy to read. Your reactions are honest, and that’s… refreshing, you know? There’s nothing wrong with it.”

He brought his other hand up to his face and rubbed briefly at his eyes.

“What’s really bothering you?” you asked after a moment.

Again, he chuffed an awkward laugh and dropped his hand and turned to look at you, eyes gleaming. “I don’t… I don’t know how wise this is.”

“‘This’?”

He tilted his head knowingly, and your stomach lurched.

“I like you. A lot,” he said, voice thick. “And I’m scared that it’s not appropriate or something. And… I don’t have a clue what I'm doing. My kind are rare enough, so I hardly see someone of my own species to interact with on this level, let alone a human. I don’t… I don’t know what I’m doing.”

You squeezed the hand that you were still holding and said, “It’s ok.” Plunging guilt and disappointment filled your chest though. You’d not realised quite how much you’d come to like him in this first week until then, and the Summer Camp still went on for another two. “Why don’t we just… hang out over the next couple of weeks? And at the end, if we want to take it somewhere, maybe we can explore that then. But if we decide not to, then we don’t have to. I can go back to the city, and that’ll be that.”

You didn’t miss the way his fingers clenched suddenly at that, but he nodded.

The next two weeks were honestly torture. By the middle of that second week of the three that made up the entirety of the summer camp, you were convinced that you really, really liked him. He kept looking at you after the classes were over; he came to almost every evening meal now; and he found every excuse to touch you - even just the briefest and most chaste of touches - whenever he could.

Dane didn't miss a trick either, and he hauled you off to one side at the end of the second week of camp and gave you what was probably your first ‘Talk’ ever. “Look,” he said. “I don’t mean to be a dick, but Leo is one of my best friends. If you fuck around with him and hurt him, I swear to god, it will not end well for you.”

“Whoa,” you said, taking a step back away from the enormous minotaur. “Dane…”

He stared you down, but seemed to realise he’d overstepped. He let out a puffing breath and sighed. “I’m sorry. I wouldn’t actually, you know, hurt you. It’s just that Leo is… he’s kind of innocent, you know? He’s never had a partner that I know of. This summer camp is literally his whole life, and what he does in the winter months is a mystery. He just disappears and comes back with the spring.”

“Really?”

Dane nodded.

“He must be so lonely.” You looked into the minotaur’s dark eyes and said, “Dane, the last thing I want to do is hurt him. We talked about it on that first Friday actually, and we decided to put our feelings - whatever they are - on hold til the end of camp. Then we’ll see how things are.”

Dane nodded slowly, and the matter seemed closed, though he still kept an eye on the pair of you from a distance.

The celebration of the end of the first of the summer camp sessions - there was a week’s gap in between the first and the second one to let the staff recover, restock on things and prepare for the next session - saw you and Leo seated by the fire, closer than any other folks were.

His shell was huge, and it made for the perfect leaning post. You rested your weight against it, and sighed happily, drinking deeply from the little plastic tumbler in your hand.

“You alright?” he asked, looking down at you. His long, red hair slid over his pale shoulders and he looked even more beautiful than ever as he gazed down at you.

“More than,” you grinned. “You?”

The handsome merman sighed, and you caught a distinct tinge of sadness in his warm eyes.

“Leo?”

He sighed expansively. “I… uh… Do you want to go for a walk?”

You pouted thoughtfully. “Sure,” you said, smiling and began levering yourself upright with the help of his curling shell. “I need to walk some of that amazing food down.”

He smiled in agreement and held his hand out to help you up. His skin was cool and his palm smooth. You tried not to take too much notice.

No one really commented on your leaving together, but Dane cast you a severe look that was definitely a warning shot across the bows, but you smiled and nodded sagely, and he backed off with a shy and apologetic smile. You tried to take it as a good sign that Leo had such good friends looking out for him.

The two of you made your way down the beach, Leo dragging his shell behind him, and eventually you blurted, “Isn’t that heavy?”

“Hmm?”

“Your shell?”

“Oh,” he blushed. “I mean… I actually found a pretty light one…”

“Do you ever leave it?”

“Rarely,” he hedged. “Why?”

“Just curious,” you smiled pointedly, and he blushed. “Have I asked something very personal again?”

With a playful smile, he nodded.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Leo paused, the hiss and breath of the water on the sand beyond forming a quiet backdrop to your conversation. “As I told you before, you can ask me anything at all. I don’t mind.”

“Alright then,” you said, feeling uncharacteristically bold. “Since we’re technically not working tonight, and there are no more activities til next week, can I kiss you now?”

His breath caught and his chest heaved once. He was only wearing the loose-fitting t-shirt of the summer camp uniform, and it hung baggily over his shoulders, revealing the chiselled lines of his pale, freckled collarbones. “Yes,” he breathed, adding hastily, “But not here.”

He took you by the hand and led you towards the rocks that formed a breakwater not far from the retreating tide. Showing his strength in a way he’d not yet done, he put his hands on your waist and heaved you up onto a smooth, dry boulder so that you were at the same height as him. He kissed you then, with all the reverence and hesitation you’d expected from the shy merman.

His hands found their way to your hair, while your own landed at his waist and his body inched closer to yours. After a few moments, he pulled back, breathless, eyes glinting in the dark, and he rested his forehead against yours. “I’ve never… I mean… not for a human… gods…”

“Leo?” you asked, risking a glance down his body.

A moment or two later, he abandoned his shell in one swift movement, revealing a slender, curling tail and a bright red, ridged cock that was already weeping and fully erect. “I want you…” he rasped.

You nodded, and he exhaled in relief, shuddering violently as your nails raked eager, red lines down his pale torso. He gently removed your clothes, reverence still in every touch, until you were lying naked on the smooth boulder, and he parted his lips and stared hungrily at your bare, beautiful body. His hands traced the contours of your sides and hips, working their way up your torso, pinching your pebbling nipples until you arched your back and groaned with pleasure.

A sudden pressure around your ankles made you gasp, and you opened your eyes to find his crab’s claws closing around the ankle joint, locking you in place as he reared up and brought his cock between your thighs. The slick heat of it made you buck wildly, and he moaned as he began to fuck the space between your legs. His head bowed forwards, his long red hair trailing along your torso in tantalisingly soft tendrils, and his breath began to come in ragged draws the faster he worked his hips.

He lost himself in the feel of your body against his own.

“You’re perfect,” he gasped, grabbing you by the shoulders and hoisting you into the air.

He supported you all the while he continued to thrust upwards between your thighs, thick and hot and slick, and you gasped and cried out at the sensation. His claws were still clamped like cuffs around your ankles, keeping your legs tightly together as he rutted into you, thrust after thrust, gaining momentum until he began to shiver and pant wildly.

“I’m…” he warned before suddenly his whole body tensed and he began to spasm, thick ropes of come spilling between your thighs, slicking your skin with hot release as he came over you, his body rearing up with pleasure and his arms holding you tightly to his chest.

“Leo…” you gasped as his wild, clenching orgasm began to recede and he lowered you down onto the rock with shaky arms.

You leaned back and he followed you as if drawn by a magnet, draping himself along your aching body as the aftershocks of his release shook him to the core. His cock wept and drooled still across your thighs, twitching and spasming, and your legs were covered in him.

Eventually he looked up at you and pressed his hands against your hips to push himself unsteadily upright. “Are you ok?” he rasped, his legs spreading wide, struggling to hold himself upright.

“Yeah…” you said, looking ostentatiously between your legs. “But you’re now one ahead of me…”

Catching his breath, Leo smiled. “Can’t have that,” he said, and he licked his lips before lowering his face between your legs. “Here…”

And the moment the heat of his mouth closed over you, you were lost to the sensations of him; the sounds, the feel, the pleasure of him.

It wasn’t long before you too were howling your release to the empty night sky above.

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I really hope you enjoyed this one! I’m working really hard on finishing the rest of my Mermay stories. Don’t forget to let me know if you did enjoy it by leaving a reblogging it!

And definitely don’t forget to check out some incredibly gorgeous artwork of Leo by the immensely talented @ilustrariane

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#merman #exophilia #mermay #hermit crab mer #merman x reader #gender neutral reader

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liliah39 · 5 years

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Crazy Little Game of Love, Chapter 2

A/n: Thanks for reading! Send me some asks about the story, or who you want y/n to end up with! There will be an aesthetic board for this chapter in the next couple days to feature all the amazing clothing pieces in this chapter! As usual, lmk if you wanna be added to the taglist, this can also be Borhap!Queen x reader, and sorry for any typos :)

From the concept I posted: here

Liliah39 Masterlist

Word Count: 7.8K+

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Freddie made you be yourself. Your first year of school was a whirlwind of crazy new adventures that he forced you to take, but you wouldn’t change any of it for the world. Of course there was some rule breaking, but as Freddie says, “Following all of societies rules makes life dreadfully boring.” In the beginning, he slept on your couch a lot because not only would the two of you be up until the early hours of the morning studying, gossiping, joking, or doing just about anything with each other, but also Freddie’s roommate was absolutely dreadful. He commonly picked on him for being Indian and was downright awful to him, so about 3 months into your amazing friendship he was practically living in your room anyways, so the two of you bought a pull out couch and set your room up as a dual dorm. Closet space became a serious problem, since you each had a lot of clothes, so you both resulted to keeping your clothes that weren’t in season in tubs, keeping pants folded in tubs, and splitting the closet down the middle. For the coming school year, Freddie just lied that he’d be living off campus, and instead stayed in your room again. You made him a copy of all the keys he’d need to get in, and although you were nervous about getting caught, Freddie assured you wouldn’t, and you ended up just being happy you’d have someone to live with.

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You hadn’t spoken to your parents in quite some time. When Christmas came, you called them two weeks before and explained your situation, and to say the least, they were absolutely furious. They demanded you come home instantly and even tried calling the school, but as you said to John all those months ago, there was nothing they could do. You were a legal adult who was entirely paying for her own college. Freddie said they were trying to push some “tough love” on you when they told you that you wouldn’t be seeing them on Christmas or any breaks unless you came home, thinking that would break you, but instead you put on a strong façade and told your mother that if that was how she was going to treat her daughter, than you wanted nothing to do with them and hung up, immediately flinging into Freddie’s arms and crying hysterically. In that moment, Fred scooped you up and carried you to your shared room and held you in his lap as you cried until you fell asleep that night. He’d never seen you so depressed. You barely spoke to him and didn’t leave the room for a week. One day, when Freddie came home from his class, he walked in to find you laying on your side facing the wall, unsure if you were asleep, so he decided to tell you the good news anyways.

“Hello darling. I know you haven’t wanted to talk, and that’s perfectly fine, but I just hope you’re as okay as you can be. I think about you all day. I’m dreadfully worried about you. Well, I’m not sure if you noticed, but I left quite early this morning and instead went to see my mum and dad. I told them about what happened and they feel awful. Even though we’re from India, ever since we came here we’ve always celebrated Christmas to be more a part of British culture. They said no one should be alone on Christmas, and you’re more than welcome to come stay with us? Mum and I went out shopping, and we already have presents for you, love. All you have to do is say you’ll come with me.” You’d never heard Freddie speak so quietly and sad, and didn’t move a muscle for a couple minutes. Freddie thought he was speaking to a wall until he saw the small shake of your shoulders as you croaked out,

“Really?” You rolled over to see your friend with a big smile on his face.

“Well of course, darling! You’re like the twin I never had; you’re my better half and I love you with all my heart. Anywhere I go, you’re always welcome to accompany me.”

Freddie didn’t need a verbal confirmation that you’d be joining him. Instead, you stepped out of your bed for the first time in days, ran over to him and engulfed him in a massive hug, quietly sobbing into his shoulder as you whispered, “Thank you” over and over again.

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Freddie’s family became your own, and you felt as if they were the parents you never had. They loved to hear the two of you play your instruments together in their family room, and felt as though you really had a special connection. One night after Christmas you and Freddie decided to go out to see a band play at a local college club, and before you stepped out of the door in your favorite clubbing disco dress with a thin, yet cute coat over it, Bomi, Freddie’s dad stopped you both.

“Hold on. No daughter of mine is going out in this weather without a proper coat.” He smiled.

“Daughter?” You replied, unable to control the smile growing on your face.

“Daughter. Now here dear, you can borrow mums fur coat. Don’t lose it!” He said with a finger in your face.

“I won’t, not in a million years. Thanks Mr. Bulsara.”

“You can call me dad, y/n, if you want to. We don’t mind. Everyone deserves to have supportive parents, and we’d love to fill that gap.”

You immediately teared up from your happiness at the situation you were in. You finally had a home. “Thank you, dad.” You enveloped him in a tight hug, and after a little while he patted your back and said,

“Now go have fun! But not too much fun! Don’t let anything happen to her Farrokh!” He called after you as he pushed you out the door.

You both turned to see him at the door and blew him a kiss simultaneously as you walked hand in hand to the car.

“I’m mad at you, y/n.” Freddie pouted.

“What could I have possibly done now?” You laughed, exasperated of his daily dramatics.

“Dad let you borrow mum's fur coat. I never get to borrow mum’s fur coat!” He sighed flamboyantly.

“Oh, hush. Poor Farrokh.” You dragged, eager to mock him.

“If you keep calling me that, I’ll actually be mad!”

“But it’s so cute!”

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You arrived at the club, and noticed all of the posters for the band strategically placed around the room. The band was called Smile, and Freddie said he’d been following them for quite some time now.

“So, you think they’re good then, Fred?”

“Well, they have great potential.” He strategically replied.

“So, they’re only half good?” You sighed.

“Just wait and see, I can’t explain it.” Freddie quickly brushed the subject away. “Come on love! We’ve got 25 minutes before they come on. Let’s dance!” And just as quickly as he brushed away the subject, he’d grabbed your hand and whisked you off to the front of the dance floor.

You recognized the song immediately: Le Freak, by Chic. “Seriously Fred?! Front of the floor where everyone can see us?!” You screamed over the loud music, laughing as Freddie spinned you.

“Of course darling! You’re a marvelous dancer. Show it and have fun!”

Freddie was right; you were an excellent dancer. You naturally had great rhythm from playing violin for so long, and your dancing to disco was the perfect mix between popular disco dancing and more sultry, sexier moves. Next, Brick House by the Commodores came on, and the crowd cheered, and so did you and Fred. The two of you had come up with some sort of routine to this in your dorm when you were bored. “Freddie! Did you put this on?” You squealed.

“Maybe. Maybe not. Now show everyone our marvelous routine. Since we’re not the act, we must put on our own show!” He declared.

You started your choreography, immediately getting nervous, because this dance you’d made up required a lot of hip movement, and you were kind of embarrassed to do it in public. When you got to the place where you were standing right in front of Freddie for the chorus, he whispered in your ear, “Let loose darling, just pretend we’re back home.”

And that was all you needed to let loose and really get into the moment. Freddie carefully pulled his mother’s coat from your shoulders and threw it on the edge of the stage in front of you. Little did you know, there were two pairs of eyes watching you intently.

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“Brian! Brian hurry! You’ve got to see this girl dancing!” Roger yelled back to the small room they were using a dressing room.

“I’m coming, I’m coming! She can’t be anyone I haven’t seen before, Rog, we hardly ever get new audience members.” Brian said as he walked to the curtain his friend was peering behind. “I’m sure she’s pretty, but she can’t be that p-” and for the first time in his life, Brian had set eyes on the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. “Holy shit.”

“I told you!!” Roger smirked, and continued gawking at you.

“She’s gorgeous.” Brian stated, still in awe of the dancing he was witnessing.

“She’s a goddess.” Roger replied in the same tone.

“How the hell does she move her hips like that mate?”

“I don’t know Bri, but I’d like to find out. Say, that bloke she’s with, he’s a regular of ours, right?”

Roger asked.

“Yup. Lucky Bastard.” Brian said as they watched you press your back up against Freddie.

The song ended, much to Brian and Roger’s demise, and with an angelic smile on your face you grabbed mum’s fur coat and draped it over your shoulders.

“She wears fur coats too? I don’t even know her name and she’s gonna be the bloody death of me Brian. Bloody hell.” Roger sighed.

“Guys! We’re going on in 10! Get back here!” Tim yelled to his band mates, and much to their disappointment, Brian and Roger returned to the dressing room.

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As the band prepared to go on, Freddie grabbed you a water to cool down, and you noticed the blonde drummer. Not bad looking, not in the slightest bit. The guitarist was cute too, but once they started playing, you broke from your trance and could see why Fred wouldn’t give you his honest opinion. When he returned, you said, “I see what you mean Fred. They all have potential, but just don’t work great together. The drummer and guitarist are doing pretty okay though.”

“And that’s why I’m going to be their new singer.” Freddie said nonchalantly.

You almost spit out your water. “What? How?”

“Oh I don’t know yet, darling. But I always get my way.” Freddie watched them intently until the end of their show, and you left soon after. You weren’t crazy about Smile, so you hardly ever went to their performances with Freddie. But hey, at least it’s members were cute.

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About One year later, October 1970:

It was the next school year, your sophomore year and Freddie’s senior year, and Freddie was still living in your dorm. The two of you couldn’t have been happier to do everything with each other. You were truly the definition of best friends.

“Y/n hurry up! You look fine, darling! Your dress looks great, you look great, your hair is fine, now let’s go!” Freddie sassed, hands on his hips while he absentmindedly paced around the room.

“Oh would you look at that? The Queen of making me fashionably late to everything is sassing me for making him late! Oh how the tables have turned.” You smirked, turning back to the mirror to complete your makeup. You could see his face in the background of the mirror. He was evidently pissed off, yet also laughing at your quirks at the same time.

“I’m glad someone finally noticed I’m the queen around here.” He quickly snapped back as your tried to hold in your laughter. You’d just finished your eye shadow and went to grab your eyeliner, when Freddie quickly snatched it out of your hand.

“What the hell was that for!” You fumed, face turning red.

“Oh hush darling, we both know you’re dreadful at doing eyeliner. Now close your eyes so we can get out of here.” You obeyed his command and closed your eyes, and Freddie quickly gave you the perfect eyeliner.

As you admired his work while you put on mascara, you quietly muttered, “I really don’t know how you do it. My hands always shake. Takes me-“

“Ten tries to do your eyeliner! We know! Now let’s go, y/n!” Freddie grabbed your hand and yanked you out the door just as you finished your last stroke of mascara and grabbed mum’s coat, leaving you laughing like a mad man at your friends’ impulsiveness.

“Freddie Mercury! You’ll be the death of me!” you screeched. Freddie had just legally changed his last name to Mercury right as the new, still untitled band had formed, not wanting his mates to know him as anything else. Since Freddie’s parents let you bring Jer’s coat back to school, you and Freddie shared it frequently. Although more often than not you fought over who would wear it, since you went everywhere together.

The two of you walked close side by side down the busy London streets toward Imperial College where Freddie’s new band mates, Brian and Roger, go to school and had secured the four of them a large practice space in the music building. The trees were filled with leaves around you, and it was a rare, yet beautifully sunny day in London. You were just happy to spend it with your best friend.

“Say, Fred. Brian and Roger. Are they the same blokes of the same name from that awful band you took me to in December?” You quipped, knowing your choice of words would irritate him.

“For the millionth time, the band wasn’t bad, they just weren’t right. I told you all they needed was me, and they got me.” Freddie proudly stated, puffing his chest out as he walked. His confidence overwhelmed you at times. Not in a bad way. Just… interesting, to say the least.

“And, how are they? Do you like them?” You interrogated. You and Fred had both come quite protective of one another, so naturally, you had to make sure he wouldn’t get hurt.

“I love them. We’ve become good friends. We held auditions for a bassist, found a guy named John. He fit with our style the best. I want to get to know him more. He’s quite talented, just awfully quiet. But we’ll be friends soon; I’m not worried about it. I’m quite easy to become friends with. Some girl I’m close with told me so.” he winked, and started fast walking ahead of you.

“Hey, wait up!” You said as you jogged to him. Once you reached him, you took his hand in yours, not romantically in any way, but just as close friends do when discussing something serious. “Is that so, that some girl told you that you were easy to become friends with? Quite a compliment huh?”

“Oh, one of the very best compliments I’ve ever gotten, darling. I’m quite close with her actually. She’s rather great.” He smugly said as the two of you continued your little game.

“Is she now? What’s she like? You still friends with her?” You laughed.

“Oh yes. And of course we’re still friends! I’d never let someone like her slip away! Not in a million years. I’d even say she’s the best friend I’ve ever had. No one could ever take her place. She’s sweet, kind, caring, hilarious; the list goes on and on, darling.”

The two of you just smiled at each other after that. Sometimes, no words had to be said. A look said one thousand words. “You’re my eternal best friend too.”

“I like that! Eternal best friends. What a title! You’re a genius. This is exactly why we’re friends darling, we think so alike.” Once again the two of you had nothing to say.

A couple minutes later you said. “Love ya Fred.”

And he looked down at you with a smile and said “Love ya too.”

As the two of you entered the college and followed the hand drawn map one of Freddie's friends must have drawn for him, you remembered about the new bassist Freddie was speaking of. John. John the bassist. Could it be? Could it actually be your friend John Deacon from High School? Though you knew it was silly of you to assume it was your childhood friend, for John was just about the most common name of the century, and you were sure multiple John’s played the bass, a little part of you wanted it to be your friend. You wanted to make things right.

“Hey Fred, that bassist you mentioned. You know his last name?”

“Why?”

“Oh just wondering is all. Might know him.” You tried not to let on you were thinking about your childhood friend John. Anytime you brought him up to Freddie, you always ended up crying and he’d end up worrying about you, so you figured at this point it was better to just say nothing.

“I mean I do, and I don’t. I’ve heard it before, I just forgot it.” He quickly spat out, opening the door to the music building for you both.

You walked in silence, encompassed by your thoughts until Freddie opened another door into a large rehearsal space. Freddie said hello to his mates, tapped your arm to say he’d be leaving you, and went to warm up on the piano in the corner. You took off your coat and placed it on the large chair to the right of the door. The other three members were there faced away from you tending to their instruments. You immediately recognized Roger, the blonde from that band Smile. His hair could make him stand out miles away. You then noticed the other, dark, curly haired man picking up a guitar, whom you also recognized from the band, and assumed he was Brian. That left the newly appointed bassist who was still facing away from you. He nearly took your breath away. From behind, he looked just like your John. Was it possible? His long, wavy, light brown hair stopped just below his shoulders, and you watched him intently.

“Darling,” Freddie called to you, “This is Roger, that’s Brian, and over there is John. Everyone, this is y/n.”

At the mention of your name, the bassist whipped his head around to look at you. It was him. It was John Deacon. John Deacon, your friend all throughout grade school. Your friend that you ditched, and then felt bad about it for the entire year following your mistake.

“Lovely?” He asked face full of surprise and happiness.

“Deaky?” You replied back, just as surprised and happy as your old friend.

You ran to him and jumped into his arms, and he tightly held you as he picked you up and spun you around.

“You’re here?! What are you doing here love! It's been a year! You look amazing! How’s school and-” John was speaking a mile a minute. He probably had millions of questions for you, though that was understandable considering the way you left things. His arms were still around you as you two stood pressed against each other.

You cut him off, laughing. “John, John! I can only answer so many questions love! Why of course I’m here! I met Freddie at school! He’s been my saving grace over the last year. You look wonderful too! School’s just fine. You know, school.” You laughed, nervously. Hoping to avoid the topic of your parents. Your parents. You’d just realized you hadn’t spoken to them or seen them in over a year. What a dreadful thought.

Brian and Roger only saw you from behind as you and John stood intertwined. Roger sat on his bass drum, dumbfounded at the interaction happening in front of him, while Brian started to put two and two together, realizing you were the girl he entitled “the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen” in December.

You turned around to say hello to Brian and Roger and formally introduce yourself, but as you turned around Brian loudly gasped, confusing you. Brian nudged Roger as he still sat there clueless, just happy to see a pretty girl in front of him. “What was that for, mate?” Roger whined as Brian quickly flashed his eyes between you, Freddie, and your fur coat. You saw a lightbulb go off in Rogers’ brain as he remarked, “Oh. My. God.” and shook Brian’s arm with a huge smile.

You stood in front of John, completely confused at the situation unfurling in front of you. Both men quickly stood up and rushed toward you.

“Hi, I’m Roger. Roger Taylor.”

“Hello love, I’m Brian.”

They said simultaneously, Roger with a cocky smirk and Brian with an endearing smile. Then, both realizing they spoke at the same time, quickly turned their heads at each other, flashed a look of disbelief and anger, and started quietly bickering. You found their actions quite adorable, and let out an airy laugh which immediately stopped their feud, making them look at you intently.

“Hi dears,” you said, still chuckling, “I’m y/n. Pleasure to finally meet you! I came to one of your Smile concerts with Freddie.” you smiled.

To your amuse, both men stuttered, unable to form a sentence. John looked on, trying to piece together what was happening, yet also getting jealous at his two new band mates for flirting with you. Though he hadn’t seen you in a year, and planned to ask you out two August’s ago, he still hadn’t gotten over you. Now that you were back in his life, he was going to make sure you stayed.

“Oh I know. Couldn’t forget you love.” Roger finally managed to say, while Brian stuttered,

“Y-you’re absolutely gorgeous.” And immediately hitting himself in the head.

You laughed again, “Well thank you both! Especially you Brian.” You placed a hand on his chest as you walked toward the other side of the room toward Freddie who was sitting on the piano bench, laughing hysterically at the situation in front of him. As soon as you got close to him, he grabbed your arm and yanked you down next to him.

“You know John?!” He whisper screamed.

“Freddie! That’s John.” You responded back in the same tone. The three boys watched your whisper-argument with curiosity.

“Well I know that darling! But how do you know him!”

“Fred. It’s. J o h n. John my best friend who’s heart I broke right before I came to college!”

Freddie let out a loud gasp and covered his mouth, leaving you two laughing hysterically for a moment, and then you turned back to your important discussion.

“And your friends, Brian and Roger, are completely gawking over me!”

“Oh I know darling! It’s quite hilarious! John likes you too, you know. I can tell by the way he looks at you” Freddie whispered, nudging your shoulder.

“Oh hush, he does not!”

“So does, darling. This is going to be quite interesting.” He smirked.

Brian cleared his throat, catching yours and Freddie’s attention. “So, um, how exactly do you two know each other?”

“Oh!” you perkily responded. “We live together!” You said, grabbing Fred’s hand and smiling at him.

“Fuck.” Roger muttered under his breath, yet audible enough for the room to hear.

“Oh! No! It’s not like that!” You said, letting go of Freddie’s hand, both of you laughing.

“No darlings, not like that at all.” Freddie added.

“Freddie’s my best friend. He helped me through some really rough patches, and I him, so he ended up moving into my dorm, and now we’re entirely inseparable.” You assured.

“That used to be me.” John said, sadly.

“Oh Deaky,” You said, walking to his side. “We’ll get there again, I promise.”

“Yes dear, very well. Say you also need to talk to him and explain things soon!” Freddie chipped in.

“Freddie!” You said, turning to him. Eyes wide and fuming with an, ‘are you kidding me?’ Look.

“Hold on love, hold on.” Roger interjected. “Deaky? You call him Deaky?” Roger smiled.

The other three members laughed at your nickname, and Freddie shouted “We’re so taking that! What an amazing nickname! I’m so glad I dragged you with me today! This is like watching a sit-com from over here in my nice cozy piano corner.” Brian, Roger, and Freddie were still in a bout of hysterics when John interjected,

“Well, I always found it quite endearing.” He said, quiet as a mouse. His body language said he was dreadfully nervous. Was it from the situation, or from you?

The other three stopped instantly. “What do you mean, always John?” Brian asked.

“Well y/n’s always called me Deaky, and I always called her Lovely. You know why? Remember that song, Isn’t She Lovely? Well, the description in that song is just her.” John smiled at you. “She’s an amazing violinist, that’s actually what she’s going to school for, right?” John asked you.

“Yes! Oh I couldn’t change my major for the world. Violin performance. I hope to be in a symphony or something one day. It’s truly my passion.” You explained to Brian and Roger.

“And if I may interject,” Freddie began.

“Well you’re going to anyways, so get on with it.” You said sarcastically, earning a laugh from your admirers.

“Man, cats and dogs you two, eh?” Roger said.

“Yes darling but I’m the cat.” Freddie proclaimed, sitting up as straight as possible, extremely proud of his friends analogy, and clinging to it as some sort of defense from the earful he was sure to get when the two of you got home.

“Get on with it Fred!” You said, clearly annoyed.

“Oh! Right! Well, Roger, you were saying it annoys you when Brian plays his guitar in your apartment sometimes, and Brian, I’m almost positive you said the same about Roger and his drums. But with y/n? It’s not like that one bit. I’ve never heard anyone play like that. It’s mesmerizing. Absolutely angelic. Sometimes I ask her to play just so I can fall asleep. She’s really a true talent.” His compliments cleared away your annoyance, and filled your heart with smiles. Though he got on your nerves, Freddie truly was the angel in your life.

“Well, I’d love to hear you play one time, y/n. That is, only if you’re up to it.” Brian said, and you nodded in approval of his proposal. “But say, John, you never did really get into how you two knew each other?”

“Y/n and I went to primary school all the way through high school together. We lived quite close together too, always were good friends.” You noticed his emphasis on the word were, and it made your stomach drop. His tone then turned more pushy. It showed how hurt he was. “We grew up in the small, cute town of Leicester. I love it. Though I guess it’s not big enough for some.” John said, glaring your way.

“John, please stop.” You whispered, only loud enough for him to hear as a tear fell down your face.

He ignored your request. “Well, we were the closest of friends, until our last day. Was actually my birthday, in fact, and her last day before college too. And well, let’s just say out of respect we haven’t seen each other, talked to each other, or written to each other since.” He said angrily, pushing his point through each sentence. He was trying to prove how hurt he was.

At this point you were completely silently crying, yet the tears fell down your face profusely. Freddie stood protectively, and slowly walked toward the four of you, but was unsure of how to handle the situation. “John please. You know it’s not like that.” You said, voice full of disbelief at the things he was saying to you, and crossing your arms for some sort of protection. But he wasn’t done.

“I visit Leicester frequently. Love to see everyone I grew up with. Say y/n, how are your parents? They doing alright? Handling everything swell? Where’d you go for your annual summer trip.” John smiled, knowing he got his message through to you, and probably everyone in the room, yet everyone saw through him to how hurt he really was. Although, his last four questions were your breaking point.

You threw him a look of disbelief and hurt, and you saw his smirk fade and eyes soften, yet wide in realization of what he just said. You stared at him for a moment more, let out a breath of disgust and turned, storming for your coat to flee out the door. You saw Freddie instantly step to follow you. “Don’t follow me right now, Freddie.” You warned.

As you reached your coat, Freddie put his hand on your shoulder. Which you immediately brushed off. “Fred, leave me alone.” You spat out through your tears, which were flowing uncontrollably. You put on your jacket, and stormed to the door. Yet Freddie, being the devoted eternal best friend he was, followed quickly in your footsteps and reached to open the door for you, which made you absolutely livid.

“Farrokh Bulsara! Stop! Leave me alone! I don’t want to see you right now!” You screamed through your tears, which left Freddie motionless as you turned around and slammed the door in his face.

Freddie turned back toward the boys, and saw John sitting in the window crying. Though he was furious with him, he understood why he did what he did. He was extremely hurt by the actions you pulled months prior, and had probably spoken to your parents in one of his visits home, and could see how they were hurting too. Brian and Roger just sat there clueless, yet Roger had a fire in his eye that gave Freddie the impression he was going to punch John. He broke the silence.

“I know all about this situation. Heard about it more than I’d like to admit, but I want you two to know that our Johnny boy is not at fault here. We’re his actions wrong? Yes. Darling, you were a little harsh, but considering the situation, she had it coming. I just don’t think she realized how hurt you are, and when it all came out she perceived it as hatred. It was too much for her to handle all at once. This is why I said you two need to talk.” Freddie said, his last sentence filled with anger.

“Right now though John, I’d appreciate it if you’d come sit here across from me. I need to fill you in.” Freddie's protectiveness was coming out. John humbly got up from his recluse location and slowly meandered to the seat he was instructed to sit in.

“Darlings?” he addressed Brian and Roger. “Could one of you go find her?” His eyes pleaded how worried he was, and Brian pulled Roger to the side.

“Rog, I’ll go find her, but you’ve gotta stay here.” He warned.

“Why do you get to go after the pretty girl Brian. Not fair to me, ya know. I haven’t had a girl in weeks!”

“And I haven’t had one for months! But this is beside the point right now Rog. If they get in a fight, you can break it up better than I can. And one of us should stay so that way we can judge John’s character and see if it’s actually not his fault, as Freddie says. I vote you to stay back.”

Roger paused for a moment, taking in what Brian said. “Alright fine.” He resigned.

“But pay attention. I’d like to know the situation at hand.” He said, putting on his coat and walking out the door.

Roger walked back over to the two seated men, and leaned on the wall in between them. “Brian went to get ‘er. She’ll be alright Fred.”

“Alright then let’s get started. I already know the whole situation, so tell me how you’ve been feeling, Deacon, and then I’ll fill you in on y/n’s point of view.” He said, with a renewed tone of voice in his normal, calming tone.

“Wait, wait I’m sorry, before you start. Y/n called you Farrokh?” Roger asked.

“Oh shut up.”

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Brian walked the entire premise, dumbfounded as to where you could be, and then thought to check the biology garden which was behind the music school. He originally didn’t see you, and thought he would be going back to the band, until he heard a sniffle, and saw it coming from a white furry blob sitting among the pumpkins, and headed your way.

“Hey Cinderella, didn’t make it home from the ball in time?” He joked, and you looked up at him, and chuckled through your tears. He sat down next to you, both of your backs leaning on the large pumpkin behind you, and he put an arm around your shoulders, with you immediately burying your head in his chest, and continued crying. Brian rubbed his hand on your back, whispering “Shh” in an attempt to calm you down.

A couple minutes later after you had finished crying, you looked up at him and said,

“I don’t wanna talk about it right now.”

“I know. That’s fine. I’m just here to be with you. Ensure you’re not alone.”

A couple more minutes of silence.

“Once you find out you’ll think less of me. You’re destined to find out.” You sighed.

Brian chuckled. “Love, that’s not possible.”

“What do you mean?”

He laughed again, nervous to tell you. “Y/n, you’re even perfect when you cry. Not many people can say that.”

“That’s impossible, Bri. I-”

“Love, you know what I said when I first saw you?”

“Yes, you said, ‘Hello love, I’m Brian.’” You laughed in that airy, angelic laugh of yours.

God, that laugh. Brian thought. That laugh could stop my heart and I’d be okay with it. “Not today dear, way back in December, Roger noticed you dancing before our show and called me over,”

“Called you over for what?”

“Oh, well- uh” he let out a nervous laugh “that’s beside the fact. You know what I thought when I first saw you?”

The October wind blew your hair out of your face, and you shook your head no.

“I thought, ‘that’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen’. Swear to god. I’m an awful liar. I’m not joking with you love, and even though ten months have passed, I still stand by my statement. No one else has ever taken my breath away like that.” He smiled at you, and laughed because of how nervous he was.

You smiled at him in disbelief of the words he was saying, and a single tear streamed down your face, though not a tear of sadness, a tear of happiness.

“Oh no no no love don’t cry again! I’m so sorry what did I do?” he said frantically, reaching a hand up to brush away your tear.

You chuckled again, and grabbed his wrist and pulled it down from your face, taking his hand in yours. “Oh nothing at all Brian, in fact you did everything right. What you said…made me so happy. It’s just- no one has ever said ever said that about me before. It was so sweet.” You looked up at him, smiling.

“You’re joking, no one’s told you how gorgeous you are before?”

You shook your head.

“Well maybe you’ve just been in the wrong place your whole life.” he smiled.

“Tell me about it. I’ve been saying that for a while now.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Brian re entered the room to find the three guys laughing like old friends.

“It must have gone well” Brian bent down and whispered in your year, causing you to giggle. At the sound of a new noise in the room, John, Freddie, and Roger looked at you and Brian intently, and the room quieted.

Freddie hesitantly walked up toward you like a scared puppy that was afraid to be scolded, and stopped about 3 feet away from you, warily looking at you to see if you’d push him away again.

“Come here Freddie.” You smiled with open arms and he engulfed you in a large hug.

“It’s all going to be just fine. I’ve made sure of it.” He said.

“I’m gonna go Fred.” You bashfully admitted.

“Nonsense! You shouldn’t walk alone and you must hear us! Give me your opinion! Help think of a band name! After all, what are eternal best friends for!”

“Okay, okay.” You resigned.

As you broke your hug, you declared, “Now, after an hour and a half of drama, why don’t you do what we all came her for, and what I came to hear! Play me things! I want to hear what you’ve got.” You smiled, sitting on the ground right in front of Freddie’s mic stand to ensure you got an absolute front row seat.

They played an old Smile song called Doing Alright, and about 4 covers of artists like The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, and Elvis Presley, and you paid attention to each of them, with all of their skills shining through. You understood what Fred meant now. All of them are amazing players, Tim just wasn’t the right person to unify Roger and Brian. But together, the four of them produced an amazing sound. It was something you knew was just perfect. As they finished, you stood from your sitting position and clapped.

“Bravo! You play wonderfully together! I’m so glad I came for this!” You said, hugging them each. Besides Freddie, whose hugs you were used to, Roger’s was the most passionate, though John’s was very nervous, short, and shy, although that made sense with the situation at hand.

You chatted with Freddie as they packed up, though he had the least to do and you were ready to leave quickly. You said your goodbyes to everyone, and headed out the door.

John left about 10 minutes after you and Freddie, leaving Brian and Roger to close up the room.

“She obviously likes you more right now mate, ‘cause you were her knight in shining armor. It’s not fair Brian. Though watch out, I’m gonna get ‘er soon. ‘ve got a plan.” Roger said jokingly, although he was entirely serious.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Freddie had been walking hand-in-hand on your way back home, though neither of you said a word. About 10 minutes into your journey you broke the silence.

“I’m sorry, Freddie. For the way I acted earlier. I was hurt, and just wanted to be left alone and didn’t express it correctly. You know how much you mean to me, and it’s just how I am sometimes. I know that’s no justification, but it’s the truth. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t you worry bout a thing, darling. We’re just fine. I’ve lived with you for over a year, and you don’t think I know your crazy antics?” he chuckled. “You’re absolutely fine. John was being a Class A dick, how else were you supposed to act? Do I think there was the right place? Absolutely not. But it happened, and I hate to not take your side, but you know you had it coming.”

“I know.” you guiltily admitted

Freddie stopped walking. “Come here love.”

You buried your head in his chest, and wrapped you in a tight hug.

“I could never be mad at you. We’re eternal best friends.” He quietly admitted.

“Eternal best friends forever.” You responded, smiling into his multicolored coat.

“You know, you smell like my mom in this coat. It’s quite odd.” Freddie admitted, which broke your hug, ruined the moment, and left the two of you hysterically laughing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

About two hours after you got home, you and Freddie were both doing school work on your bed. You were adding some markings to a violin solo while he drew a new design, when you heard a knock on the door. You looked at Freddie, hoping to coax him into getting it with a look, but he just smiled as if he had a sixth sense as to who was behind that door. Seeing as he wasn’t budging, you opened the door, and the sight nearly took your breath away. It was John, holding a bouquet of flowers with a little plastic thing in the middle of them that read “I’m sorry”.

“Oh John!” Freddie said. “So good to see you! Come right on in, I was actually just going to the coffee shop to work on my drawing further. I’ll bring you back our normal, love.” And with that he quickly put his drawing and pencils in his messenger bag, threw his jacket on, and just before he closed the door behind himself he winked at you. Of course Freddie had something to do with this. How would John have gotten to your exact dorm without him. His people skills were astounding.

“John! Thank you for the flowers, you’re too sweet.” You took them from him, and pulled him in for a hug. “Please, come sit!” You motioned him over to your bed.

“I truly am sorry, Lovely. You were my best friend, and then to just have you out of my life like that was a complete shock to say the least. All the hurt I was feeling just came out, and not nearly in any logical fashion. I was hurtful, and I’m so sorry. I know it was a funny way of showing it, but I am. Freddie told me your point of view, and I guess I understand now. He told me how this was your dream, and of how well you were doing in school, and even how unsupportive your parents were even before you game here, and especially how they were when you called them at Christmas. I didn’t realize how stressful things were. I’m sorry for bringing them up. I understand why you did things the way you did now, but I’m just hoping you don’t still want me out of your life. Freddie said how you’d been crying about not talking to me, and just as much as you’ve been crying, I’ve been crying more. I’ve been wanting to reach out to you, but I was afraid I’d anger you. I didn’t know what to do. I just want you back in my life, Lovely. I need you. Life is hard without your best friend. I know Freddie took my-”

You were softly crying at his words, not in a bad or hurt way, just overwhelmed with emotion. “Deaky, Freddie could never take your place. I’ve known him for a year, I’ve known you since primary school. We’re a different kind of friendship. I realized I messed up with you in my first 2 weeks of school, and was crying my eyes out on the daily, wanting to call you, yet I thought you’d be furious with me, so I made myself hold off. I know it was a bitchy move. I’m just hoping you’ll forgive me?”

John laughed through his tears. “I forgave you as soon as you left me y/n. Was I hurt? Yeah. What you saw today was all my hurt coming out. But I couldn’t stay mad at you. Not then, not now, not ever.” he smiled.

You hurriedly wrapped him in a huge hug, both of you softly crying on contact, just so happy to have your friend back.

“I want my Deaky back. I’m not pushing you away again. God, I don’t think I could handle it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John stayed 2 hours longer until Freddie returned home with a white chai latte for you both, and said his goodbyes. You were so happy to have had that time to catch up over the last year with your John, that you were practically dancing around the dorm, which made Freddie smile.

“I know you helped with that, Fred. Gave him our address I mean. I don’t mind in the slightest bit. It made me so happy to see him. So I guess this is a thank you.” You smiled, taking a sip of your latte.

“You didn’t fuck him while I was gone, did you? Well if you did, good job love. But I’m just wondering because it’d explain your giddiness.”

You almost spat out your coffee. “Freddie! No I did not have sex with John and I could not! Well, I- no!” You laughed, and he joined in with you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two nights later, a Wednesday, you were both settled down and had turned on the TV Freddie’s parents gave you two, and at about 8:45 heard a rustling under the door. There was a folded piece of paper on the floor with something written on it. Freddie saw how much the occurrence freaked you out, and got up to grab the paper, and looked through the peephole, but no one was there.

“It’s addressed to you, darling.” He said, handing it over to you, as he sat back next to you and put his head on your shoulder to read the note with you.

It read “y/n y/l/n” on the front in chicken scratch, and you unfolded it to find the following note.

“Dear y/n,

I’ve made plans for us to go to my dads beach house west in South Cornwall right on the cliff overlooking Porthcurno beach. There’s a heat wave coming, so weather will actually be summer warm, especially there. I just wanted to get to know ya’ better. Compared to the rest, I feel like I’m missing out. Only get my number from Fred and call if you have unmovable plans that you can’t miss, and can’t go, and by unmovable plans I don’t mean homework. :)

I’ll drive. Pick you up Friday at 3 (Freddie said you didn’t have any classes)

It’s a date.

Your favourite band member,

R. Taylor ”

You gasped and held the letter to your chest after you read it a second time to make sure you weren’t dreaming, while Freddie was giggling in your ear.

“You knew about this?!” You exclaimed, smiling.

“Of course! I had to! Poor Roggie-boy was just so endearing, I couldn’t resist! You’re clearly not mad, are you?”

“No!” You laughed. “I’m excited! He’s attractive!” you admitted, and thought about the last line of the note.

“It’s a date.”

Well, you surely hoped it was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/n: I hope you all enjoyed!! Are you as torn on who you like best as I am? Shoot me an ask and lmk. As always, just reach out if you wanna be added to the taglist. I CANT WAIT FOR THE AESTHETIC BOARD also... next chapter is beach w/ roger :)))))))))))))))

Taglist: @yourlocalmusicalprostitute , @idontbelievethiss , @deakysmisfire , @bismillahnah , @queer-heart-attack , @everything-you-dont-wanna-be

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readingontheedge · 5 years

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The Woman America Loves a Latte

by Holly Tierney-Bedord

Genre: Women's Fiction

From the best-selling author of Sweet Hollow Women comes a quirky new thriller for fans of Megan Abbott, Liane Moriarty, and Carl Hiaasen. Veloura has never stood a chance. Raised by a junkie and orphaned as a teen, she's settled for a life of low expectations. She spends her days sprucing up the shack of a has-been bull rider and washing hair down at the local salon. But when it turns out her fiancé doesn't have her best interests at heart, she's forced to come up with a new plan for herself. An opportunity to be the spokesperson for a coffee chain means a bright future could be hers, if only she can stay ahead of her dark past.

Goodreads * Amazon

Holly Tierney-Bedord is the author of several novels and novellas including Sweet Hollow Women, The Woman America Loves a Latte, The Port Elspeth Jewelry Making Club, and Surviving Valencia. She's also an artist and miniaturist, creator of the mid-century dollhouse restoration blog flipthisminihouse.com, and the author of several non-fiction books about creating miniatures. She lives in Madison, Wisconsin.

Website * Facebook * Twitter * Bookbub * Amazon * Goodreads

“Suzie,” Vee was saying, “my life is finally coming together. Can you believe I’ve got a wedding to plan?”

Suzie wrapped her finger through the phone cord in her kitchen a couple of times. Her two-year-old daughter Britney was sick with the flu, down for a nap, so she’d taken personal days from both her jobs. Unfortunately, she still had to pay the daycare center, but it was nice to be home on a Monday.

“No, Vee, I can’t believe it. Have you totally given up on that guy who works at RadioShack?”

“God, yes, I’ve totally given up on him.”

“What about the guy at the frozen yogurt place? Or maybe just try being single for a while.”

“I can’t be single. Where would I live? Back in some rooming house with twenty other people?”

“I thought you liked New Horizons?”

“It was a halfway house, Suzie, which would have been okay, but when you’re the only person not recovering from an addiction, everyone gives you the coldest shoulder.”

“I guess you could stay here with us,” Suzie said. She held her breath, hoping Vee would say no.

“No, no. Don’t be crazy. I’ve got everything with Thunder. He’s a man. He owns his own home.”

“I hope you’re not marrying him for his dinky little house.”

“Gimme a break. I’m not that materialistic. I would never marry some guy for his house,” said Vee. “I’m just trying to tell you that, unlike every other guy I’ve ever dated, he’s an honest-to-goodness adultwith things like a bad back and real pots and pans. I need this kind of stability and support. Doesn’t everyone deserve that?”

“Yes, but I thought you said he stays out all night? How does that feel stable to you?”

“I think you get that with all guys, at least early on before they’re fully committed.”

“No, Vee, not all men are like that,” said Suzie.

“Anyway,” said Vee. “Let’s focus on the positive. Like how fast Thunder’s trying to make it all happen.”

“Really?” said Suzie. She was still doubtful whether Vee and Thunder were even engaged or if this was some kind of massive misunderstanding on the part of her friend.

“Really!” said Vee. “I asked him about an engagement ring on Monday—the day after he proposed, you know, wondering when we might want to go to the mall and try some on, and just like that, he disappeared. Left the house. Drove away. I was like, ‘Hey! Where’d he go?’ I thought maybe he was going to bail on me! But then later that same day he showed back up and gave me a ring! Can you believe it?”

“Barely,” said Suzie.

“I can’t believe you haven’t seen it yet. I’ve had it a whole week. It’s a little loose, but I figure I can wear it on my middle finger instead.”

“You could get it resized, you know,” said Suzie.

“Yeah, that costs money. So, on Tuesday I told Thunder I want to go dress shopping with you. And guess what?”

“He presented you with your wedding dress,” Suzie guessed. She lit a cigarette—one of her few guilty pleasures—and blew the smoke out the open window so it wouldn’t drift back to Britney’s room.

“Close,” said Vee, “and I’m going to ignore the sarcasm in your voice.”

“Okay, I give up. What happened next?” asked Suzie, feeling a little guilty that she wasn’t even faking being enthusiastic about any of this.

$10 Amazon, Paperback Copy of Book

Follow the tour HERE for exclusive excerpts, guest posts and a giveaway!

https://www.silverdaggertours.com/sdsxx-tours/the-woman-america-loves-a-latte-book-tour-and-giveaway

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iesorno · 4 years

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Anxious Comics – issue 3 page 4

I first saw Daniel Bristow-Bailey’s work when he offered up free copies of his prose zine Dog. I ordered it on the strength of the cover, Dog handwritten above a very detailed drawing of a frog. It made me laugh, there was something oddly significant in that juxtaposition, couldn’t tell you why, but there was. Shortly after that he started his Anxious Comics series, which is a fast paced, underground influenced mash series that has a lot of nonsense and yet some very powerful moments. It’s daft, but also on point and so, exactly what I enjoy.

He’s an eclectic creator and has a set of skills that make his work pop.

You can find him here

shop

Use the discount code ZINELOVE10 for a 10% discount on anything you buy. Valid until the end of 2020.

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Screaming page 2

Can you tell us a bit about the first creator whose work you recognised?

It would have been someone from 2000AD. I remember being very excited by Kevin O’Neill’s run on Nemesis and Simon Bisley’s painted artwork for Sláine. If I look at Bisley’s stuff now I find it hard to get past the grotesque anatomy, but as with people like Todd MacFarlane in the US he pushed past his technical limitations with a raw energy that appealed to adolescent boys. I don’t mean that as snootily as it sounds! Adolescent boys can be fierce critics.

Kev O’Neill – Nemesis the Warlock

Simon Bisley – Slaine

Which creators do you remember first copying?

My mum, who should get most of the credit for teaching me to draw, always strongly discouraged me from copying directly, but I came pretty close to it with Moebius! He always makes it look so (deceptively) easy that it’s hard not to have a go oneself.

Moebius – Edena

Who was the creator that you first thought ‘I’m going to be as good as you!’?

That’s an interesting question. Probably Gilbert Shelton. I started reading the Freak Brothers when I was far too young (got to thank my mum again for that) and that “underground” style with lots of fine linework and cross-hatching seemed to be achievable with the materials I had at home. I think the Shelton influence still shows in my black-and-white stuff.

Gilbert Shelton – Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers

Which creator or creators do you currently find most inspiring?

In terms of comics, I’ve recently discovered Al Columbia. I can’t remember the last time I found an artist who really disturbed me like his stuff does. Even the more restrained stuff has an evil, haunted quality. The book I’ve got (Pim and Francie, Fantagraphics, 2009) feels like a cursed object, like the Necronomicon in Lovecraft’s stories, or the video cassette in the Ring. It’s a great example of text, illustration and book design all working together.

Al Columbia – Pim and Francie

Nabokov – Pale fire – Gingko Press edition

I’ve been reading a lot of Nabokov. He’s one of those writers I keep coming back to. Sometimes I like to think about how you could do a graphic novel of “Pale Fire”. The first half of the book is a very long poem, written by one fictitious character, and the second half is a collection of footnotes to the poem, written by a second fictitious character, who has stolen the manuscript and is preparing an unauthorised edition of the poem. As the notes digress further and further from the text of the poem, another narrative emerges, that may or may not be “true”, so it would probably be impossible to do a graphic novel adaptation, but thinking about how one might do impossible things is often creatively rewarding.

Which creators do you most often think about?

David Lynch – Twin Peaks

Aside from the people I’ve mentioned already, I think a lot about David Lynch. I’ve always liked his stuff but Twin Peaks: The Return (2017) absolutely blew me away. There were points I was watching that when I thought “I didn’t know you could do that with television”. I think whenever a work expands your ideas about what’s possible within a particular medium you know you’re in the presence of real Art with a capital A. I love the sense of mystery in Lynch’s stuff, which I think comes from his letting the subconscious take the lead in the creative process – he talks a lot about using ideas or imagery from dreams, or meditation. It’s a process I’ve consciously been emulating with “Anxious Comics”.

Anxious Comics – issue 3 page 4

Can you name the first three creative peers that come into your head and tell a little bit about why?

Gareth Hopkins, because I’ve just finished doing a page for his “no new ideas” project. It was great fun getting to paint over a copy of one of his pages. Gareth posts a lot of his process online and I’ve found it inspiring how he reworks and recycles stuff. His work has definitely encouraged me to veer more towards abstraction, and not to be afraid, in comics, of decoupling the text from the image – I think he was a big influence on my one-shot “the Screaming”.

Gareth Brookes. I’ve not talked to Gareth much about process but he seems drawn to ridiculously labour-intensive media, like embroidery or linocuts. As if making comics wasn’t hard enough already! But as I said before, there’s nothing like setting yourself an impossible challenge to get the creative juices flowing. Also, when I look at the spread of stuff he’s got for sale at conventions – a mix of self-published zines and two or three big hardback books published more traditionally, I think it’s where I’d like to be myself in a few years’ time, so I guess he’s kind of a role model for me right now.

Hannah Lee Miller

Hannah Lee Miller is producing some lovely stuff. I picked up a copy of her zine about condiments at Catford Zine Fair and it’s one of those things that initially seems rather slight and inconsequential but is actually really, really good, it just doesn’t shout about it. Also, Hannah is, in my limited experience, infallibly enthusiastic about other comic / zine people and always ready to help out or lend support where it’s needed. An asset to the scene.

Finally, can you tell us a bit about your recent work and yourself?

For a long time I tried to be self-disciplined and only work on one thing at once, but recently I’ve come to accept that I’m happier when I have several projects, preferably in different media, on the go at once.

The last thing I self-published was “The Screaming”, an experimental one-shot comic about dreams and mental health. I wrote about it in some detail for Broken Frontier.

Screaming page 8

I’ve got five pages in the upcoming anthology by Obsolete Comics. I’m really excited about this one as it looks like it’s going to be great, and hopefully represents the start of another small comics press. We can never have enough small comics presses.

I’ve also got Anxious Comics, my ongoing series – four issues out to date and the fifth long overdue! My long-term plan with that, if you can call it that, is to keep it going between other projects for as long as it needs to, or until I get bored. At some point it would be nice to do a collected edition.

I’m currently drawing a comic written by Steve Thompson, which he’ll be pitching to publishers soon I think. I like drawing other people’s scripts because it forces me to draw stuff I otherwise wouldn’t think of.

Looking to the longer term, I’m working on a script for a longer-form comic. It’s kind of a superhero thing. But not quite. I’ve got this character who’s kind of my own take on the super-violent costumed vigilantes like the Punisher and Deadpool that were popular when I was a kid, but transplanted to the “real world” of early-noughties London. It’s pretty bleak. I think it’s funny myself but as with some other stuff I’ve self-published in the past it will probably cause people to express concern for my mental health.

Gareth – Hunt Begins – work in progess

Bio: Daniel Bristow-Bailey was born in London in 1978. Growing up during the “dark age” of mainstream comics, he quickly became attracted to the alternative / indie scene and, encouraged by his mum and the bloke in the local comic shop, started drawing his own from an early age. Like many others, he drifted away from comics in his late teens, put off by their uncool image and lack of seriousness compared to grown-up art and literature, but came back to them in recent years as he realised that no-one was going to think he was cool or take him seriously anyway. As well as making his own comics, he draws other people’s scripts and sometimes writes prose fiction. He has a day job working as a mental health person in schools. He lives in Richmond with his wife and two children.

Thank you very much for taking the time to fill this out and let us into your mind.

Gerald – work in progress

all art copyright and trademark it’s respective owners.

Small (press) oaks – Daniel Bristow-Bailey @bristowbailey details who influenced him (tl:dr mostly his mum!) in our latest look creator's influences #smalloaks #comics #zines #inetrviews #zinelove I first saw Daniel Bristow-Bailey's work when he offered up free copies of his prose zine Dog.

#comics #horror #interview #smallpress #zines

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daleisgreat · 4 years

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30 Years of TurboGrafX-16 & 25 Years of 32-X: A Lethal Combination!

Greetings and thank you once again for joining me in another anniversary retrospective! I know we are in the first month of 2020, but please indulge me and pretend it is still 2019 so I can say this is officially a piece commemorating the 30th anniversary of the North American launch of the NEC TurboGrafX-16 and the 25th anniversary of North American launch of the Sega 32X! Yes, this is the two-for-one anniversary special! I have been neglecting this for too long and wanted to have this up before the end of 2019, but I think I was a wee burnt out with my tomes I crafted for my other three flashbacks I posted throughout this past summer. I have good faith this will be a shorter piece because even though I have a history with both the TG16 and 32X, my experiences with them are both greatly after their original launches so I do not have those twee childhood memories of the 32X and TG16 as I did with the GameBoy and Genesis. Regardless, I do cherish my time with both ill-fated systems I will be covering today, so let us kickoff with the system that came out first, NEC’s TurboGrafX-16 in 1989.

Yup, these are the issues of Game Players I dug out of the closet and took poor quality cell phone pics for proof of where I first remember reading about the TurboGrafX. Even though TG16 launched in America in 1989, I do not recall seeing it in stores or hearing about it until 1994 when I got my first videogame magazine subscription to Game Players. Yes, I still have those 1994 issues of Game Players in my closet and if I can find the right issues I will attempt to paste in a semi-decent cell phone shot of the pages that referenced the TG16. If memory serves right, I believe there was a spread video pinball games that highlighted both Crush pinball titles for TG16, and another column highlighted TG16’s Ys Books I and II for being a revolutionary RPG title with its then-unprecedented cutscenes and voiceovers. I also discovered about TG16’s mascot, Bonk when reading a review in GP for the NES port of Bonk’s Adventure.

By consuming other gaming press media over the following years I eventually learned what happened with the TG16 and its CD add-on in America and how they did not fare as well as they did in Japan and quickly faded out within a year or two after the SNES launched in America. I never had a friend that owned the TG16 growing up, nor do I recall a store kiosk having any set up for play in my middle-of-nowhere hometown. I cannot remember even dabbling with hunting down TG16 emulators since I never saw the games out in the wild for sale at my local shops to peak my curiosity. So I believe the first time I played a TG16 game was when the Wii launch in 2006 and also debuted at its launch the Wii’s downloadable classic games for its ‘Virtual Console’ channel. The TG16 was one of the supported platforms and I recall downloading the hit multiplayer game, Bomberman ‘93 around or shortly after the Wii launch making it likely the first official TG16 game I played.

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Aside from playing my first TG16 game in 2006 on the Wii, 2006 was a big year for learning a lot more about the system thanks in part to one particular podcast. Apple debuted podcasts in 2005 and other MP3 players quickly supported them too. I sampled countless gaming podcasts, but one I quickly got turned onto towards the end of 2005 was one Team Fremont Live. That podcast is still around to this day, but underwent a couple name changes and is now known as Super-the-Hardest. I quickly became a fan of the three hosts, John, Moe and Hilden and loved their take on videogames. They had frequent retro gaming segments on the show and the trio frequently waxed nostalgic for their TG16 memories. Over the years consuming their podcast and participating in their forums my knowledge for the system exponentially expanded! If you currently dig through the Super-the-Hardest archives or check out these links, you will find a wealthy amount of TG16 articles there to learn a ton about the platforms and their recommended games.

The then-Team Fremont Live hosts lived about a five hour drive away from me, and they had on open invite community event in the summer of 2006 where I first met them in person and gamed and drank the night away with them and their fellow community members. It was an awesome time, and in January 2007 they hosted another community event for their first ever year-end awards, ‘The Darryls!’ I remember meeting up with the three hosts the night before the event for a ‘packing party’ where we drank all night again and quickly got stone cold sober, literally, as we packed up the van with recording equipment in the middle of a January Midwest night of biting subzero temps! The Darryls transpired the next day and I got reacquainted with many community members again and there were several TVs set up with various games to play for everyone in what ended up being another memorable night with the TFL community. John, Moe and Hilden did a special presentation later on in the night for their 2006 best of game awards and did a contest drawing towards the end of the night that I was the lucky winner drawn. My prize was a TG16 system, complete in box and with a copy of the original pack-in game, Keith Courage in Alpha Zones! I was blown away and stunned the prize was going to be a system! That pic at the top of this article is indeed me being the proud new owner of a TG16! Keith Courage was a decent little platformer, but I would never become that skilled at it and would peter out of lives by levels two or three and regret never taking the time to master that game.

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Thanks to listening to many hours of TFL at that point however and through other online research over the years I knew which games to hunt down. Luckily in 2007 and for the next few years TG16 releases remained affordable to hunt down as most games save for a select few went for under $20. I tracked down a far superior platformer in Bonk’s Revenge. Its vibrant visuals, challenging-but-fair platforming and adorably gruff mascot Bonk blew Keith Courage away and looked graphically on par with the other 16-bit platforms. World Court Tennis initially appeared as another run-of-the-mill tennis game, but diving into ‘Quest Mode’ provided an in-depth medieval narrative complete with an RPG-esque overworld and random tennis battles! I looked into getting the CD add-on, but from what I gathered it sounded like the add-on attachments had a high faulty rate by 2007 and were not worth the risk. Even with those drawbacks I regret missing out on the TG-CD games and only had the chance to dabble with a handful off of other collections and Virtual Console over the years. Fighting Street (aka the original Street Fighter) had its only American console physical release on the TG-CD, and I did not get a chance to play it until a Capcom released a arcade hits collection on the original Xbox. Ys Books I & II was a revolutionary RPG for what its cinemas and voiceovers debuted to the market, and it was not until the Wii Virtual Console that I finally had a chance to experience the original version. Turbo Technologies brokered a bonkers deal with EA to bring a little known version of Madden to TG-CD that I would have played the heck out of compared to the other gridiron game on the platform I will touch on shortly.

The TFL crew were big fans of shmups (aka the original ‘shooters’) and I recall them being high on Blazing Lazers and I wound up spending many hours trying (and failing) to vanquish that space shooter. Already being a diehard fan of videogame pinball in 2007, both Alien Crush and Devils Crush were among my first TG16 purchases. They were both fantastic multi-layered pinball titles, with several screens of verticality to flip the pinball through and vanquish enemies and mini-bosses away on the playfield. I loved both games, and if you want a current rendition of that then I highly suggest tracking down the recent release of Demon’s Tilt that is available on most current platforms. Demon’s Tilt is essentially a modern take on the Crush games, but on crack with amped up visual effects since it is capitalizing on the horsepower of modern systems. After accumulating these several titles I would make it a habit to add one or two more a year at an annual retro videogame expo I regularly attended in Milwaukee called the Midwest Gaming Classic. John, Moe and Hilden would also attend MGC most years around this time and I would make it a point to track them down at some point during the convention and get them to recommend me a TG16 for under $20. There recommendations never failed, and this was how I discovered NEC’s answer to Ikari Warriors (Hey, I was a huge fan of the NES game!) in the superior Bloody Wolf, and the quirky platformer, JJ and Jeff. The yearly MGC pick-up was how I finally procured a copy of the gore-slasher-fest that is Splatterhouse. I would also chance random games that caught my eye for the TG16 and did not go for that much. I loved my 8 and 16-bit sports games and took a shot on TV Sports Football, and it was a decent adaptation of the gridiron, but did not measure up to the many other football titles on the other 16-bit platforms.

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The same can be said for the TG16’s sole American wrestling game, Battle Royal, it was an OK videogame grappler, but nothing that held my lasting attention. However, the excellent FirePro Wrestling series got its start on the platform as Japan-only exclusives, and I will give props to my former podcast co-hosts Chris & Lyzz for grabbing a copy of FirePro: Second Bout for me at MGC one year I could not make it. The FirePro games have evolved into the pinnacle of 2D wrestling games over the years, and it is fascinating to see how it started on the PC-Engine in Japan and even in FirePro’s earliest installments it was already a class above the competition. While both of these wrestling games went for under $20 by 2012, the next year when I returned to MGC in 2013 TG16 game prices inflated exponentially. For proof I was looking up some old MGC photos from my pictures library, and found some photos of Chris & Lyzz’s 2010 MGC loot-haul laid out on their bed. As you can see they picked up a TG16 and several games, if you zoom in on the photo you can see most of their games went for under $20. I have no idea what brought on the sudden demand, but a vast majority of TG16 games started going for around $50-100 within a couple years and that was without jewel cases and instructions!

For this piece, I contacted Chris and Lyzz for their memories of picking up the TG16 and their favorite games they have played since, and Chris responded back with the following: ”I can't remember much. I just remembered that I liked Bonk’s Adventure and Fantasy Zone. Bonk’s Adventure because of how much I used to like side scrolling games and that is the only game that I wanted to play at the time that didn't come out for the NES/SNES/GEN. Fantasy Zone because of the sheer weirdness factor of it.” 2009 marked the 20th anniversary of the TG16 launching in North America and I wanted to do something special to commemorate it. I was in the midst hosting my own videogame podcast, On Tap, at the time and invited John, Moe and Hilden to come on for a special TurboGrafX anniversary episode! It was a delight to have them on the show and have them take us all to school with their master’s degree knowledge of all things Turbo and reminisce about the TG16 for an hour. I recently dug that episode out of the archives and uploaded it onto my YouTube channel and will embed it below for your listening pleasure!

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This is a special TG16 20th anniversary podcast I recorded 10 years ago! Add it to your queue to listen to for more TG16 wisdom! I would bust out the TG16 once every year or two until several years ago when the WiiU became my virtual replacement. The WiiU started supporting the TG16 by uploading a ton of the TG16 library to the WiiU version of the Virtual Console in 2016 and uploaded nearly a game a week from mid-2016 until early 2018, well after the launch of the Switch. I sold my Wii after owning it for only a year and only owned a few TG16 games for it, so this late infusion of TG16 titles on the WiiU caught my eye (and other Retro enthusiasts too). This culminated in about 50 TG16 games hitting the WiiU by the end with even a few former Japan exclusives among them….and I bought all of them! The original Wii Virtual Console that is backwards compatible on the WiiU remained open until early 2018 to purchase their TG16 games too which I used to acquire other acclaimed TG16-CD games not available on the WiiU like Castlevania: Rondo of Blood and Ys Books I and II.

A few times a year I fire up my WiiU and pick a few random games to play from my many Virtual Console purchases. It was this way I finally got around to trying out the Legend of Zelda-inspired Neutopia and having a fun night with a couple buddies hack and slashing away in Dungeon Explorer. I also got to take in the ridiculously huge sprites of the brawler China Warrior and finally experienced TG16’s take on Outrun in Victory Run. The WiiU surprisingly wound up a gratifying legit alternative to the now-absurd asking prices for used TG16 games, and a convenient way to make TG16 games appear on a HDTV without the fuzziness that happens when I plug an SD system into a HDTV. While I never knew of the TG16 during its active North American lifespan or got a chance to play it until this century, I still have priceless memories of discovering hit titles exclusive to that system that stood out in a way unlike anything else on its 16-bit competition. The 32X is a whole other beast though. I remember being a furious 11 year-old upon its release in 1994. I vividly recall the hype in Game Players for it and even 11 year-old Dale thought Sega was out of its mind for releasing a $150 add-on for the Genesis merely several months before the Saturn when Sega already had plenty on the market to tide them by with the Genesis, Game Gear and SegaCD. A wee shy of 50 games only came out for it in the little over a year games were published for the 32X, and nearly half of them were marginally enhanced Genesis titles. From reading mags during its lifespan and hearing other gaming media reflect back on it throughout the years I gathered the add-on had a handful of standout exclusives, but was largely forgettable and not worth tracking down, and I hand no plans to do so, until….

Living proof of the speculated demon that is Sega's Tower of Power! …In 2009 a co-worker was about to get married and was parting with his gaming collection to raise funds for the wedding/honeymoon. He knew me as an ardent game player and gave me a print out of what he was selling and his asking prices. This was still a couple years before the big retro used game boom I described above, because around same time a couple years later 32X game prices jumped just like TG16 games. Still, I noticed most of his prices were at the higher end of most eBay auctions when I researched them online. I did not have a SegaCD or 32X in my collection at the time and there were at least a few exclusives on both systems I always wanted to try, and with the funds going to a good cause I made an offer for those systems with about a dozen games in the middle range of what he was asking for and what other asking prices I saw online at the time. I want to say I paid roughly $200 for the lot.

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I got about six or seven games for 32X from my co-worker and later tracked down three or four more over the next year or two to get the other 32X games I wanted. I had a couple up-ports/’Remasters’ from the Genesis for 32X like Toughman Contest and WWF RAW. Toughman Contest was EA’s gritty take on Punch-Out that I was a big fan of, and it got a big endorsement from toughman hot-shot at the time Butterbean. The 32X version did not add too much other than lightly touched up graphics and framerates. The 32X version of RAW though had a couple extra weapons at ringside to bash adversaries away with and its own exclusive wrestler, the masked Kwang, who later on went to be better known as Savio Vega in the WWF throughout the 90s. Unfortunately the gameplay for those old Acclaim 16-bit games had those tired button mashing grappling meters that killed your thumbs and was a few entries old at that point so it did not get too much playtime from me. A 32X version I did enjoy was of Doom, and for a few years it was the only version of the iconic first person shooter I owned until a version hit download on 360 a couple years later. I was a big fan of Sega’s early polygonal titles, Virtua Racing Deluxe and Virtua Fighter on the 32X. The launch Saturn version of Virtua Fighter was notorious for being a buggy mess, and the 32X version that released a few months later surprisingly had a smooth framerate and played as crisp as I recalled in the arcades. Sega somehow against all odds managed a port of Virtua Fighter on the Genesis, but had a somewhat cleaner version with exclusive tracks on the 32X later that year. I loved me some Virtua Racer and if I ever get a Switch one of the first eShop downloads I plan on getting is the recent touched up remake of Sega’s first polygonal racer M2 developed last year. Finally the last upper-tier quality game I have in my 32X library is Sega’s arcade port of Star Wars Arcade. It only had the three missions of the arcade that boasted dog-fighting missions on the Death Star and a Super Destroyer, but they were quick mindless, pick-up-and-play blasting fun.

As seen above, Doom had a pretty solid 32X port at the sacrifice of screen resolution and I suffered through RAW's middling gameplay for its exclusive character Kwang and extra ringside weapons. There were five 32X CD games released with Slam City and Corpse Killer pictured above in their unremarkable glory! I do own all five ‘Sega CD 32X’ games that come on discs for the Sega CD, but require the 32X in order to load. All five of these games are FMV-based games from Sega and Digital Pictures and all have releases on the SegaCD already, but the 32X CD versions have slightly better resolutions and framerates thanks to the added power from the 32X. None of the five games are all that fun regrettably. I have awful memories of the clunky controls in one-on-one basketball in Slam City with Scottie Pippen and never getting a good memory for the order of camera patterns in order to succeed in Night Trap. I guess Corpse Killer was a semi-decent on-rails light gun shooter with digital characters similar to Area 51 of that same era, but with far cheesier acting and implementation. Both Night Trap and Corpse Killer recently got touched up remasters on the PS4 for those brave enough to see how they hold up today.

There were a few other 32X games I wanted to track down, but I neither saw them in the wild, had negative buzz or at that time were already going for a bit more than I preferred, and are selling for outrageously more today. I always heard good things about Knuckles Chaotix being a decent substitute for a Sonic-style platformer on the system, but that one always escaped me. I loved the World Series Baseball games on Genesis, and the 32X got a slightly up-res’d version of the ’95 release, but it had such a low print run that it is one of the higher selling games of the 32X library. I liked the original 80s version of the arcade shmup, Zaxxon and was bummed to see the polygonal 32X follow-up get panned with negative buzz which kept me away from that version. Finally, the comic book game nerd in me always wanted to own Spider-Man: Web of Fire, but with it having a low print run being the final the 32X game, and combined for being an awful game to boot were a lethal combo to keep me away from it for good. That wraps up this two-for-one flashback anniversary special on the 32X and TurboGrafX-16. What were some of your favorite games or memories of those systems? Feel free to comment about them below or reach out to me on Twitter @Gruel. I guess combining my memories of both systems went on for a bit longer than I anticipated, but I managed a modicum of brevity by being about a 1000 words shorter than my gigantic Dreamcast special. If you want to check that one out or my anniversary specials on the GameBoy or Genesis, than check the links below!

UPDATE: A couple hours after posting this I realized I completely forgot to touch on the fast approaching release of the TurboGrafX Mini in North America in several weeks!!! It is launching as an Amazon exclusive so do not be on the lookout for it in retail stores right away. It has over 50 games, about half of which are Japanese PC Engine versions. If you want something more physical than pick and choosing which games to download on the WiiU, the TurboGrafX mini is an ideal way to start discovering most of the top titles for the system! As for the 32X…..Sega did release their own official Genesis mini last fall, and did include a 32X add-on mini attachment…..that is sadly for visual purposes only and is completely non-electrical. While the overlords of the TG16 library at Konami have re-released TG16 games on several platforms over the years I cannot think of a single 32X game that got one digital or physical re-release unless you count the up-ports of Night Trap and Corpse Killer Keep your fingers crossed though, a working 32X mini may one day happen. My Other Gaming Flashbacks Dreamcast 20th Anniversary GameBoy 30th Anniversary Genesis 30th Anniversary

#videogames #Sega #NEC #32x #turbografx #turbografx-16 #bonk #sonic #splatterhouse #bloody wolf #blazing lazers #firepro wrestling #wwf raw #wwe raw

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kootenaygoon · 5 years

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So,

At the Star, there were always lots of stories about animals.

In the early summer months of summer 2014 press releases about bear sightings began appearing routinely in our inboxes. One of them sauntered right into a woman’s open kitchen and munched through a countertop full of cookies. We declined to run the pictures of the bloody carcass being hauled off by conservation officers, though it inspired newsroom debate, and we published story after story about bear-proof garbage containers. Nelson was deeper immersed in nature than I was used to back on the coast, and the population was full of fervent conservationists. People from the Kootenays were passionate about wildlife, even getting worked up over local pests like skunks and Canadian geese, and it seemed like nearly every second person had a giant panting dog to run alongside them while they went hiking or mountain biking. One of the hot button topics was a wolf cull that was underway to protect an elk herd, a government operation that activists decried as wasteful and wrong-minded.

Nowhere was the local love for animals more apparent than on Helen Jameson’s Blewett farm, where the grizzled owner had been rehabilitating injured wildlife for decades. Every year the community did a milk fundraiser to help feed whichever animals had ended up in her care. Calvin sent me out to interview her one afternoon, on her secluded acreage a half hour away, so I took Paisley with me to meet the baby deer that was the latest beneficiary of her kindness. Helen had been doing this work since 1966, and had successfully re-introduced thousands of animals back into the wild. As she marched over to greet me a miniature sheep daintily bobbed along at her heels, like a little dog, curious about the newcomers. Helen took us over to the deer’s pen, and bottle-fed it while we gawked. I took a flurry of photos.

“What’s her name?” I asked.

“Oh, I don’t give them names. They’re animals, not people.”

“But don’t you ever feel tempted to give them a name, living with them for so long?”

She shrugged. “I’ve loved every single animal that’s come to my farm, and not a single one of them needed a name. That would’ve gotten me too attached. Because eventually they all need to go back out there.”

Helen was brusque, and no-nonsense, though I could tell she knew my presence would mean support for her milk drive. She was definitely more comfortable with the animals than with other humans. She toured Paisley and I around the property, where we found miniatures horses, a profoundly ugly emu and a variety of bird enclosures.

“This is exactly what I want, to live on a little farm like this one day,” Paisley whispered to me, when Helen was out of earshot. “Surrounded by animals, out in the woods. Can you imagine? Just me and you?”

“I don’t think you would need me,” I said. “You can just take over for Helen one day.”

“I should.”

Paisley had gotten a job with the local grocery store, Kootenay Co-op, and had taken the move as an opportunity to create her own raw and vegan dessert company. In all the years of our relationship, it was these summer months that felt most idyllic and full of promise — like we’d fled Vancouver Island for a multi-year honeymoon in the mountains. We painted our deck a vivid pink with baby blue finishes, while our inside walls became bright pastel yellow and light purple. Every week meant more plants, more vintage decorations from the shops on Baker. I made sure to prominently display a painting of a purple hippo meant to be my spirit animal. We were smoking a lot of pot, listening to a lot of Hozier, and night after night sleeping on our deck like it was a treehouse.

When I think about this time, I see those first waking moments when I was overwhelmed by white light, pressed up against Paisley’s slumbering body and running my fingers through the soft tufts of Muppet’s fur. Eventually we decided that she needed a sibling, so one weekend we drove out to Kelowna to pick up a tiny yorkie chihuahua named Buster — a purchase I could just barely swing on my Star salary, but one I considered an investment in my growing little family. Paisley and I had become that cute couple, the one other people envy, and I took any opportunity I could to name-drop her in the newspaper or post photos of her on Facebook. I wrote a column about her called “Introducing my favourite human being of all time”, and became a regular at two local businesses: Bella Flora, the flower shop, and Sanderella’s, the cupcake place.

I lived to spoil her.

During work hours I was hiding in the arts pages. Greg and Tamara were reliably producing enough content to fill the news section at the front-end of the paper, so I was focusing on the back half. My very first assignment was to chat with a young white rapper named Emnity, and pretty soon I was writing about giant puppets, bronze sculptors and music festivals. I started to make sense of the local arts community, and the players keeping it alive, and used my contacts to fill page after page. I was introduced to an award-winning youth choir called Corazón, the visual work of an elderly vagrant named Wayne King, and a newly released novel by Padma Viswanathan called The Ever After of Ashwin Rao. The artistic vibe was contagious.

“You stand on Baker Street and you feel like the rest of the world’s on the other side of those hills doing their crazy things and they can go ahead,” painter George Binns told me, during an interview about his exhibition at the library.

“The first day I walked down the street I knew this is where the spirit wanted me.”

Binns told me that Nelson was tricky when it came to newcomers — some people she embraced whole-heartedly, keeping them long-term, while others she forcefully ejected. I desperately wanted to be in the first camp, to have found my refuge among the mystics, weirdos and visionaries all around me. My Kootenay Goon blog was catching on, and I wanted to embody this new persona I was inventing for myself. Paisley and I belonged there, and I wanted to prove it.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t getting along well with upper management. As publisher, Sharon had raised a few concerns about my professionalism and conduct around the newsroom, pointing out my habit of being MIA for editorial meetings and how frequently I left the office early in the afternoons. Things came to a head one day when she announced that a story of mine, a musician profile I’d already finished, was being shit-canned for having the wrong venue — the owner of that venue also ran a small online newsletter, which she considered a Black Press competitor. (Greg and I would later call all stories killed by management “The Black List”.) Mostly annoyed that my time had been wasted, but also embarrassed because I didn’t know how I was going to explain it to the guy I’d interviewed, I blew up in front of everybody on staff. My face went red, I shook, I swore a bunch of times. I accused her of letting advertising priorities interfere with editorial integrity, all self-righteous, and ended up storming out seething. Eventually Calvin took me aside, apologetic. He put his hand on my shoulder and took a long moment to blink before speaking.

“This just isn’t one of those hills that’s worth dying on,” he told me. “But believe me, I know exactly how you feel."

The Kootenay Goon

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tgreuniverse · 7 years

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re: [quest] Chapter 4 “sponse”

Hello!! This chapter is about Hori Chie and Tsukiyama Shuu and is very cute (happy birthday the other day, 2/25, to Hori, btw!!)♥

This post has Part 1 of the chapter in full under the cut (mainly for mobile users). The next parts are underway and I’ll do my best to keep things organized to link up.

Click here for my compilation of translations of the light novel re:quest

Finally, a disclaimer: I’d encourage anyone invested in the Tokyo Ghoul series to buy the official copies of this light novel and any official translations when they are released in your area to support the authors and publishers.

Thanks everyone for your patience and don’t hesitate to send me corrections/suggestions/asks and messages! – koko♥

Chapter 4: Sponse Part 1 Part 2 TL: Occasionally Tsukiyama throws in English or French words when he’s speaking. Anything that’s written in Roman letters in the original Japanese text will be bolded to indicate that it’s in another language. All other emphatic markings are for conveying regular emphasis.

“Alright, now take a picture, of me!” “Nahh,” Hori replied, and the conversation was over in 3 seconds. She was watching through the coffee shop’s big windows at the shopping street where people came and went, housewives buying things for dinner and hoisting bulky eco-bags on their shoulders. Hori looked like an uncomfortable elementary school student in the chic and relaxed coffee shop where she sat. However, inside, she was already at the level of a college student. Well, actually, she almost never went to college, as she roamed from east to west as a “free camera-man” with her camera, her one hobby, always by her side.

“Well, seems we’re done around here,” Hori said, standing just as she finished eating her parfait. “Wait, Hori!” She paused. What made her stop was the man with a well-arranged appearance, somewhat like a model, and a voice that if you walked through town you could take to be from an entertainment industry – the man most annoying in the eyes of someone like Hori – Shuu Tsukiyama. A man who was always prideful and focused on attention from his surroundings – marked by the [CCG] with the title “gourmet” ghoul, he really didn’t have much of an understanding of the world. Indeed, the situation of such a ghoul known as Tsukiyama, having a face-to-face conversation with the human Hori Chie, was one you wouldn’t find anywhere else. Due to the strange situation, the two pretended to be high school students simply going out to the local coffee shop. In high school, Hori’s evaluation of Tsukiyama’s pride did not come from second-hand gossip, but from her own deep curiosity about his differences from others. It came from her simple thought “well, this looks interesting” as she peered through her camera’s viewfinder. The result of which, it turned out, was her taking pictures of the gourmet ghoul’s predatory scene. One thing leading to another, this resulted in a pretty strange relationship. Today, like most others, since a while ago, Tsukiyama had gone on and on about some favor he wanted to ask, and since Hori couldn’t exactly refuse as it became more and more annoying, well, here she was. “Hori! Why on such a whim? It’s a favor from an old friend, so just sit for a bit and tell me what you want to eat, you little mouse.” “Tsukiyama-kun, you always treat people like pets, don’t you? Hot cake.” “Haha, so you were aware of being my pet! That lady right there, let’s ask her for a most supreme hot cake!” With that, Tsukiyama snapped his fingers and signaled the female server across the room. While Hori sat back down, he suddenly exclaimed, “Hori! Listen until the end of what I’m saying. This is business.” “Business, huh?” Hori had finished her drink, and with her straw, clinked around the milkshake’s ice at the bottom of her glass. With nothing better to do, Hori went back to listening. “That’s right. In fact, this time, I want you to go to a villa.” Hori released the straw and tilted her head. “Huh?” Tsukiyama sighed. “Have I at last both been thrown away by Kaneki-kun and become dismissed by you?” He, always pursuing some gastronomic meal to satisfy the tongue itself, was fascinated and obsessed with this one-eyed half-ghoul named Kaneki Ken. Even after having had a relationship with Tsukiyama for a while, Hori had never before seen him stick to a single ingredient in such a way. Even now, he was working hard to earn Kaneki’s trust, but Hori believed he was still just trying to eat him. Since he was separated from his precious villa, Hori wondered if Kaneki was finally disgusted and had kicked Tsukiyama out. “Haha! That’s nothing, nonsense. I am his dagger, and my heart is always his bedside.” “You’ve prepared everything up to your house but everyone’s being removed from your circles?” “If you were the patron like me, would you be concerned about everyone? This is a taste of being god.” “I’m full. That story sounds long so I’m gonna go home” “Wait wait, food is something that should be enjoyed at your leisure. Would you like some kind of after-tea?” Hori sighed. “My orange juice is fine.” With this Tsukiyama let out a cough and returned to what he was saying. “I have a garden party at my villa on my next holiday, and I’m supposed to give a speech. I want you to put capture it with your camera.” “Wha…?” Tsukiyama was a ghoul of a respectable family, the descendent of the Tsukiyama Group that everyone had heard of at least once. “Along with that, although this will be a surprise, I’m thinking of expressing everyday gratitude towards the servants in the house. To leave memories, you know?” The Tsukiyama family, of course employees included, had a large number of people. I knew it, Hori thought, as she ate the hot cake that had finally arrived. The aspect of self-righteous egoism is often looked down on, but consideration for things one likes or for one’s self is fine, as such things have the potential to help one feel better in their own skin. “Of course, you’ll be compensated. How is it, Hori? You’ll take the job, right?” As a reply, Hori only groaned, “you really are annoying.” “Haaaaaahn?!” At Tsukiyama’s desolate voice, Hori said, “I’m not interested.” Hori's photography activities were actually quite selfish. When she thought about taking photographs of an event of such high social value, she realized that would mean taking pictures with no real substance, and only taking work for the value of money. She definitely wasn’t one to be so influenced by money. Right now she wasn’t in the mood to take pictures of things she wasn’t in the mood to, and wasn’t up for the tension of working for money at all. At this point Tsukiyama, who knew from personal experience not to press Hori as she would continue to refuse (even in a case where it seemed likely she’d be killed), simply mused “hmmm.” It seemed her orange juice was all gone, too. His time was almost up. “Ahh, well then. Let’s see, Hori, do you have any interest in flowers?” “Flowers?” “Yes! At my family’s villa there are many varieties of flowers in bloom, in a vivid wide space, and it’s . . . it’s something like a utopia!!” Tsukiyama, spreading both hands, began to gestured and gestured as he started explaining. “There are many rare and valuable varieties, and the roses are particularly superb! The garden party this time will be done according to the season of the roses. There are so many scenic sights that you can see as you pass through.” Hori stabbed her last piece with her fork. “. . . oh, ok. . . . I’ll go then.” Tsukiyama’s unexpected palm hung open in the air. “So . . . you’re not against it anymore . . . then? “I said, I’ll go,” Hori repeated. Tsukiyama, who obviously hadn’t expected Hori to accept yet, seemed confused. “I wonder where this wind blew in from?” “I just want to take pictures of flowers, and if Tsukiyama-kun’s place has roses, then that sounds good to me.” Tsukiyama’s family paid attentive care to its rose garden, and although the rose garden was the only thing Tsukiyama recommended, Hori thought that maybe she could see ever more amazing things. Since she ended up deciding to go, she thought it would be interesting to go on a walk with Tsukiyama. However, there was still one problem. “There will probably be ghouls at this party, right? Won’t I end up getting eaten?” Although they did go out and talk ordinarily face-to-face, there was a clear border between Tsukiyama and Hori, that of being a person and a “ghoul.” While Hori was greatly aware of the risk to her own life that she put into her photo activities, she didn’t particularly want to live a rushed life, and didn’t think anything like “I would die for my craft” or whatever. In the moment, she had just gone with what she had wanted to do. But now she needed to tend to her safety. “There’s no need to for you to worry about that. The servants will be told by me personally, and it will be arranged so that the guests know as well, that they must not lay a hand on you.” “Okay. Well, it seems like there will be plenty of preparation, so I’ll take pictures of the good stuff, and I won’t when nothing happens. It will be done suitably.” Hori stood up while stretching very much. “Well then, the next consecutive holidays. This time advanced payment would be nice, in the usual account.” “Oui, I definitely won’t miss that. In return, I’m expecting amazing photos. Capture the moment when I shine the most!” “The moment you shine the most, huh,” Hori repeated. With that, she slid the bill across the table to Tsukiyama and left the cafe.

#tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul:re #tgre #tokyo ghoul light novels #tokyo ghoul: quest #tokyo ghoul translations #my translations #tokyo ghoul: sponse #tsukiyama shuu #hori chie #tokyo ghoul information #tg light novels #ishida sui #towada shin

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nancyxvalentine · 4 years

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Milestone Moments and Mourning

It’s no secret that I grew up in a single-parent immigrant household. In fact, that’s the way I openly describe my upbringing when asked about my childhood. I’m very proud of my Chinese American mother, the ways I have watched her overcome hurdles of hate and blossom into the resilient powerhouse that she is. I’m also very proud of the independent and creative woman I am today because of the “Tiger Mom” that guided and disciplined the yesterdays of my youth. What is a secret, that I haven’t even realized until now, is that I will be mourning the death of my father for the rest of my life. His absence still impacts me and it’s hard for me to talk about. For those that are unaware, my father, Michael Valentine, passed away on April 23, 1996 of cirrhosis of the liver caused by malnutrition and prolonged alcohol abuse. I was only 3 years old. To me, Michael Valentine isn’t a person, he’s the representation of “dad” as a concept. The truth is, I was too young to know who my father was as a person, the good or the bad, but I wasn’t too young to understand the role he could have and should have played in my life had he put down the bottle. My dad’s death is something that’s always just felt like one of those “facts of life” that I paid very little attention to on the daily. I don’t mean to sound insensitive here, I just mean to say that my mother filled all those obvious “dad gaps” when raising my brother and me. For instance, she taught us how to hook worms on our fishing poles, repair things when they’re broken, and respect our elders and others different from ourselves and our own upbringings. And yet, despite the ways my mom went above and beyond to ensure we never felt “fatherless,” I still bawled my eyes out when I realized I was the only kid in my entire private Christian school who only had one parent listed in our K-6 student directory. Throughout the rest of my junior and high school years, I found myself filled with frustration, angst and envy. There were a few friends who knew, but when in public, I often found myself referring to my mom as my “parents” so as to avoid any awkward conversations that may be met with pity-filled expressions and obligatory condolences.Those awkward developmental years are littered with what I call “milestone moments” and as a result, in those four years of “firsts,” I was forced to confront the fact that my dad wouldn’t be there to be a part of any of them. With few to confide in and even fewer who could relate, I would spend hours in my bedroom seeking solace in sketchbooks and drowning out any sorrow I felt with shitty music I found on Myspace. My college years were ones where I thought about my father a lot, but in a different sense. For a few years I was heavily involved with a local Christian Church and spent countless hours lamenting over my inability to connect with the concept of “God as a Father” in various bible studies and small groups. My grievances were met with responses filled with action - meaning a few “dads” in the Church community would come around to “step in” or “look out for me” from time to time. The most tangible example of this being when one of these Church Dads made all the necessary arrangements for my vehicle to get towed to a shop and paid for a replacement when I blew a tire on the freeway while driving to a church-related event. Though I was and am still grateful, it was difficult for me to know how to accept their care and kindness without feeling like some type of pity project. I still struggle with this. Fast forward to now: I’m nearly 28 years old and I’ve done most of the things an “ambitious young person” is supposed to do - along with all those milestone moments - by myself. I’ve earned my baccalaureate, travelled internationally, own my vehicle, work in a stable position for an incredible nonprofit, exhibit my artwork in galleries and group shows, actively serve my community and have even found a therapist that I like and trust enough to listen to. On paper and by society’s standards I am considered a “well-rounded” individual and “on the right track.” However, the next station on my life track is one that I didn’t anticipate being so fricken emotional: buying a house. As someone who's been financially independent since the age of 17, the actual process of purchasing a home felt scary, but not unfamiliar. Much like when I first ventured into the realm of financial literacy and investing for my retirement - I researched the steps online, attended some seminars and webinars, built up my credit and eventually applied for the loan that felt right for me and my financial situation. The day I received notification of my pre-approval, I put an offer on a beautiful, yet quaint house on a lake in a rural town adjacent to the one I grew up in. Less than 24 hours later, the sellers accepted my offer! When sharing the news with my partner and a few loved ones, excitement and congratulations exploded from every person except for one: me. Owning a home is a life goal of mine, so it’s not that I don’t have feelings of excitement or pride about getting to this point. What I’m feeling is a mixture of that plus something else. Something familiar, but not something I’ve ever taken the time to process or had the words to articulate until now: grief. Yes, I can acknowledge the accomplishment of “figuring things out on my own,” but that doesn’t negate the grief that comes with the realization that I did it all on my own because I had to, there was no other option. Here’s the thing: I know I’m smart, capable, strong, resilient, blah, blah, blah - those aren’t the things I’m wrestling with. What I’m wrestling with is feeling proud of myself for the accomplishments and milestones in life because the sad reality is, part of me wishes my dad was there to be a part of, well, all of it. That’s tough to admit...and even more tough to mentally and emotionally process. I read a Huffington Post article by a woman named Brittney Wong, who writes about the loss her father to pancreatic cancer when she was 18. The article is titled “What Milestones Are Like When You Lose A Parent At A Young Age” and somewhere in the middle she wrote: “When a parent dies when you are young, it’s like you are left to free-fall without a parachute while everyone around you is getting helicoptered-parented well into their 30s.” Though our experiences are quite different, my heart still echoes her sentiment. I’m at an age and stage of life where I’m confident that I can “adult” relatively successfully. I know a little about a lot, have the initiative to figure out the basics of what I don’t, and when I absolutely can’t do something by myself, I call on my “village” for help. However, the work it takes to navigate the emotional landscape of each succinct milestone on my own, again, is where I feel the most sorrow and least support. Losing a parent is a very personal type of grief that others have trouble empathizing with until they experience it themselves - even more so when that loss is experienced as a toddler. What I’m starting to recognize is that because I lost my father at such a young age, I have carried my grief with me, but never faced it. It’s not that I needed a dad, it’s that I felt the absence of my dad when facing every milestone moment. I will never know what it’s like to have a loving, supportive father who swoops in to save me when I call. I’m past the point of wanting one and I have no need for one. But now, as I face this major milestone moment, what I do need is the grace and space to mourn. Obviously this isn’t the first or last milestone moment that Michael Valentine will miss, but it feels like a major one and I can finally admit: I wish he was still present to be a part of the process.

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instantdeerlover · 4 years

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It’s Still the Jungle Out There added to Google Docs

It’s Still the Jungle Out There

Workers line up to return to work a Tyson processing plant in Logansport, Indiana, which temporarily closed after 900 workers tested positive for COVID-19 | AP Photo/Michael Conroy

More than a century after Upton Sinclair’s novel about exploitation in America’s meat industry, the coronavirus has revealed how little meatpacking has changed

Black Hawk County Sheriff Tony Thompson left the Tyson pork processing plant in Waterloo, Iowa, in disgust. On April 10, after receiving complaints from workers and community members, he and local health officials inspected the facility, which is responsible for about 5 percent of total U.S. pork production, according to industry estimates. “We walked out of that plant tour knowing those complaints were valid,” says Thompson, who is also chair of the Black Hawk Emergency Management Commission. “They had a huge problem.”

On the factory floor, where 2,800 people slaughter, cut, and package 19,500 hogs a day, only a third of workers wore face coverings, Thompson says, some with bandanas and eye masks over their mouths instead of appropriate masks. “They thought they had three confirmed [COVID-19] cases out of that plant, but we knew they were in the double digits.”

Thompson and other elected officials urged Tyson to close the plant immediately for cleaning and test employees for COVID-19. “They didn’t take action,” he says. Now, 1,031 workers at the Waterloo plant have tested positive, and 1,703 cases total have been confirmed in Black Hawk County, including at a long-term care facility for the elderly. Twenty-six people have died. Thompson traces the outbreak to the Tyson plant, one of the county’s largest employers. “They blew a hole in our defensive line.”

For Thompson, as for many Americans, the COVID-19 pandemic is shining a bright light into one of the darkest recesses of the country’s food system: industrial meat processing, comprising slaughter and packing — an incredibly streamlined and consolidated industry controlled by a small number of companies and reliant on low-paid, immigrant labor. It’s dangerous work on a good day, with steadily increasing production speeds, injury rates twice the national average, and illness rates 15 times normal rates, according to the National Employment Law Project.

“They didn’t start to take it seriously until we started getting cases in our town and in our plant.”

But COVID-19 has made matters much, much worse. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 4,913 cases of COVID-19 have been reported at 115 meat and poultry processing facilities in the U.S. as of April 30, and 20 workers have died of the disease. Data collected by the Food & Environment Reporting Network through May 12 puts the number of meatpacking worker deaths at 52 and the number of infected at more than 13,000.

The problems are partly of scale: The CDC points to “difficulties with workplace physical distancing and hygiene and crowded living and transportation conditions,” or thousands of workers laboring in tight quarters and living in small, rural communities. At another Tyson plant, in Perry, Iowa, 730 workers, or 58 percent of those tested, were positive for COVID-19, health officials said. In Sioux Falls, South Dakota, more than 900 COVID-19 cases stemmed from an outbreak at a single Smithfield Foods meat processing plant, according to health officials.

Some workers and union groups blame meatpacking companies for acting too slowly to address COVID-19 related safety concerns. “I felt like they didn’t start to take it seriously until we started getting cases in our town and in our plant,” said one meatpacking worker at a facility in Kansas, where masks weren’t implemented even after some workers tested positive for COVID-19, she says. Following a bout of chills and aches, the worker, who wished to remain anonymous for fear of reprisal, also tested positive for COVID-19 last week. She’s now isolated, with pay, and recovering.

For longtime critics of America’s meat system, the current public scrutiny feels overdue. “The industrial meat system is about as nasty as you can get,” says Brent Young, whose Brooklyn butcher shop, the Meat Hook, was established in contrast to big meat — and is one of many small purveyors currently thriving even as major processors struggle. (Young, along with Meat Hook co-owner Ben Turley, is also the co-host of the Eater video series Prime Time). “I can’t say anything without recognizing that it’s incredibly sad that [this situation] is going to affect millions of animals and undocumented workers,” Young says. “But as for that supply chain being broken, all I can say is it’s about time.”

On April 22, Tyson finally closed its Waterloo plant, with company president Steve Stouffer saying that “protecting our team members is our top priority.” It’s just one of at least 22 U.S. meat and poultry processing plants that had closed due to COVID-19 cases by April 28, according to estimates from the United Food and Commercial Workers International Union.

Recent plant closures highlight the meat industry’s decades of consolidation into an oligopoly of four companies: Tyson, JBS, Cargill, and Smithfield Foods. According to Cassandra Fish, an industry analyst and former Tyson risk management executive, about 50 meat processing plants are responsible for as much as 98 percent of all U.S. meat slaughter and processing. The arrangement has driven prices downward — meat prices in the EU were twice as high as of 2017 — but created a system that’s vulnerable to disturbances like COVID-19, says Christopher Leonard, author of The Meat Racket: The Secret Takeover of America’s Food Business. “All these animals have to pass through an extremely narrow bottleneck.

“We used to think of this in terms of food-borne pathogens. We used to say, when you have these few plants, if you have a problem at one plant, it can have a cascading effect through the whole food system,” says Leonard. “Now [with COVID-19], this is triply true. If you shut down a single slaughterhouse, it knocks out a huge, measurable portion of the whole meat supply.”

AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall A worker leaves the Tyson Foods plant in Waterloo, Iowa on May 1 AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall Medical workers test a local resident at a drive-thru COVID-19 testing site in Waterloo, Iowa

The measure of the disruption is striking: As of the first week of May, pork production capacity was down 25 percent, and beef capacity was down 10 percent, according to the food workers’ union. Slaughter of both pork and cattle was down 30 percent year-over-year, according to livestock reports from the Chicago Mercantile Exchange. All in all, Fish predicts, that’s likely to translate to a 20 to 25 percent reduction in the amount of available beef during what’s typically peak sales season, between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. Pork supply could be down by 18 percent during that period, she anticipates.

Meat company executives sounded the alarm, warning the public of potential shortages. On April 27, Tyson chairman John Tyson took out a full-page ad in the Washington Post, New York Times, and Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, addressing plant closures in dire public health terms. “The food supply chain is breaking,” Tyson wrote, warning of “meat shortages and wasted animals. … Our plants must remain operational so that we can supply food to our families in America.”

But the North American Meat Institute, which represents the companies responsible for 90 percent of U.S. red meat production, points to plenty of meat reserves in cold storage; 921 million pounds of chicken and 467 million pounds of beef, according to the USDA, as of late April. Much of this meat was previously allotted to restaurants that are now closed and won’t need it. Pork reserves, originally bound for export to China, can also be released to U.S. customers.

FDA officials say they don’t anticipate serious food shortages for consumers, just temporarily low inventory at some stores as they restock. And even if supply is lower and there’s less variety, Steve Meyer, a meat industry economist with Kerns and Associates in Ames, Iowa, isn’t worried about Americans running out of meat. “From a consumer standpoint, it’s not a crisis at all, in my opinion.”

Still, some chains like McDonald’s report that they’re bracing for diminished meat supplies. Hundreds of locations of Wendy’s, which relies on fresh beef, rather than more abundant frozen beef, reported running out of burgers at some locations by early May, with shortages expected to last a “couple of weeks.” In grocery stores, fresh meat prices were up 8.1 percent for the week ending April 25 over the same week last year, per Nielsen data. But prices weren’t up across the board, according to USDA data: Ground beef was more expensive, but the price of typically more costly cuts, like rib-eye, went down. And while retailers like Costco and Kroger are placing per-person limits on meat purchases, that’s in part to curtail panic shopping, which could perpetuate shortage fears and panic-buying cycles.

“From a consumer standpoint, it’s not a crisis at all, in my opinion.”

Critics of the meat industry even characterize its claims of a shortage as tactical hyperbole: a calculated campaign intended to gain federal support. On April 28, just two days after the Tyson ad appeared, President Donald Trump signed an executive order declaring meat production essential infrastructure. Meat industry executives cheered, but workers’ rights advocates howled. “It’s putting profits ahead of public health,” says Tony Corbo, a lobbyist for the watchdog group Food and Water Watch.

“The return on investment for Tyson’s public relations ad was enormous,” says Leonard.

For customers, there may be no immediate meat crisis. But for processing workers, the danger is real. “A lot of us are scared,” says the Kansas meat processing worker who tested positive for COVID-19. “It feels like we’re putting our health at risk, but at what cost?”

Rather than precise OSHA and CDC requirements, the executive order points to looser temporary guidance. “To keep their doors open safely, meatpacking plants — and all essential workplaces — must operate under clear, enforceable OSHA standards — not voluntary ‘guidance,’” says Jessica Martinez, co-executive director of the National Council for Occupational Safety and Health. Alarmingly, federal officials seem to downplay the risk: In a May 7 call with lawmakers, Secretary of Health and Human Services Alex Azar emphasized the need to keep plants open, and suggested “home and social” aspects of workers’ lives contributed to high infection rates at meatpacking plants.

Debbie Berkowitz, a former senior OSHA official and expert on meat processing who is now director for worker safety and health at the National Employment Law Project, thinks the federal government is less worried about keeping workers safe and more concerned with keeping businesses safe from liability. “Instead of requiring meatpacking companies to implement safe practices, the president prefers to attempt to shield these corporations from responsibility for putting workers’ lives in danger,” Berkowitz wrote in a statement to Eater.

The industry is already under-regulated, says author Christopher Leonard, with processors consistently permitted to push operating speeds faster. “The USDA is controlled almost entirely by the big meat companies, it’s just a categorical fact,” he says. “The meat industry is setting the terms of regulation.”

Even with added safety measures now in place at her factory — plexiglass screens, staggered breaks, and limits on seating capacity at the cafeteria — social distancing is nearly impossible, according to the Kansas meatpacking employee. “It’s very loud, and so a lot of people just pull their mask down to speak to you,” she says. Before she began isolating last week, absenteeism was high: She was forced to pack meat from two conveyor belts instead of one to fill in for a missing colleague. To encourage workers to come in, the plant offered $2-per-hour raises — from $15.90 to $17.90 for her. But if workers miss even one day of work per week, they lose the whole week’s bonus. “It doesn’t even feel worth it,” she says.

Legal experts have questioned the enforceability of Trump’s executive order. It’s “a paper-thin proclamation with limited legal effect,” Daniel Hemel, an assistant professor of law at the University of Chicago, argued in a Washington Post op-ed. But the order at least provides some justification and legal framework for big meat companies to push their workers to keep coming in. “The industry is already trying to use this argument,” says Tony Corbo, who suspects companies will invoke the order in an attempt to avoid liability.

But maybe it doesn’t matter: Tyson’s Waterloo, Iowa, plant, for example, remained closed for weeks despite the executive order, in part because of absenteeism: Workers simply wouldn’t show up, and realistically, Tyson can’t force them to. “I think it’s a well-intended [order], but it doesn’t address the real problem, which is getting workers to work, and keeping them safe when they’re there,” said Meyer of Kerns and Associates.

Processing closures are also creating a logjam effect, leading to problems that echo up the supply chain. “The crisis is at the hog farm,” says Jen Sorenson of Iowa Select Farm, the state’s largest pork producer. Before the COVID-19 crisis, the country was experiencing record pork and beef production. Now hog prices are spiraling downward, costing famers dearly. Many animals will be “depopulated,” an industry euphemism for being killed without being processed and sent to market.

Commercial pigs like Sorenson’s are raised inside barns their whole lives, and grow about two and a half pounds a day. If they’re not sent off to slaughter, they get too large for their quarters — roughly 7.2 to 8.7 square feet per animal, according to an industry publication’s recommendation. Slaughterhouses won’t accept animals if they get too big, and they can even become too heavy for their own legs. There’s nothing to do but euthanize them. In Minnesota, 10,000 hogs are being euthanized per day, Department of Agriculture officials tell the Star Tribune. The USDA’s Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service announced it will establish a National Incident Coordination Center “to provide direct support to producers whose animals cannot move to market as a result of processing plant closures due to COVID-19,” including depopulation and disposal methods.

Scott Olson/Getty Images Hogs at Illinois’s fifth generation Old Elm Farms

For now, Iowa Select Farms has changed its hog feed to slow growth, holding its pigs at market weight for as long as possible. “This is why we need to keep our packing plants open,” says Sorenson, who is also communications director and president-elect of the National Pork Producers Council. “We need to keep that food chain moving.”

The mass closure of restaurants has also temporarily disrupted the meat supply chain: About 30 percent of pork, for example, is typically shipped to food-service establishments, per council estimates. The meat industry has scrambled to reroute those supplies to retail instead — which is good news for grocery store customers.

Looking out at her farm, Sorenson doesn’t see the makings of a long-term pork shortage. “There are plenty of hogs and we’re not running out of pork or bacon,” she says. “We’ve got a glitch between the farm and packer that’s got to get fixed ASAP. The supply two months down the road, it’s there — we’ve bred those animals, and we are birthing those piglets, and they’re moving through our farms.”

But if losses for farmers continue to mount, a real shortage could be coming in the long run. “The medium- to long-term effect is we could potentially lose more farms, more family farmers, who are not able to withstand these markets and this situation, and go out of business,” Sorenson predicts.

Meyer concurs. “Producers are losing so much money that some of them are going to go out of business. A year or two from now, we’re going to have lower pork supplies, and then you will see higher prices at the retail level, that’s almost certain.”

While the industrial meat system faces public scrutiny and backlash, America’s network of small butchers, farmers, and microprocessors are experiencing new attention of their own. “There’s a kind of validation,” says Ben Turley of the temporarily closed restaurant the Meat Hook, where business is up thanks to retail and delivery.

When Turley saw Tyson’s full-page ad, he called bullshit. “The food supply chain isn’t breaking; that’s just false. It’s Tyson’s food supply chain that’s breaking. Not ours. They want to make it seem like the end of the world to you. But Tyson is not all of food.”

The Meat Hook is supplied by Gibson Family Farms in Valley Falls, New York, and a small slaughterhouse nearby, Eagle Bridge Custom Meats. “If you take an outfit like the Meat Hook, you take us, and you take the people that slaughter the animals for us, and that’s three businesses currently thriving,” says Gibson Family Farms owner Dustin Gibson, who raises his hogs outdoors and grazes his cows on grass. “It’s awesome to see that they’re being rewarded.”

Kate Kavanaugh, owner of Western Daughters, a butcher shop in Denver focused on grass-fed meat raised according to regenerative farm practices, is encouraged by a recent uptick in sales. “The volume that we are seeing now as a business is the volume that could actually sustain us and our farmers and ranchers in the long term,” she says. It offers “a fighting chance.”

“The food supply chain isn’t breaking; that’s just false. It’s Tyson’s food supply chain that’s breaking.”

News stories about the meat industry are finally reaching consumers in a meaningful way, says Anya Fernald, CEO of California meat company Belcampo. “In America, we celebrate the high availability of so many different types of foods at such affordable prices. That’s an American privilege.” It’s no accident that cheap meat goes unexamined, she says. “There’s a willful disbelief.”

Belcampo’s meat — grass-fed, organic, and slaughtered at its own processing plant — is much more expensive than commodity meat. Fernald would argue that it’s also much tastier and healthier. But due to its price, meat from small purveyors won’t replace all the cheap protein Americans consume daily. It doesn’t have to, advocates say. “We need less meat in our diet,” says Turley of the Meat Hook. He just hopes consumers choose a little grass-fed meat over a lot of commodity meat. “We need to be eating more vegetables anyway.”

Cheap meat also comes at a high hidden cost, Fernald warns, and we don’t know when it will come due. The World Health Organization and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have warned the public for years that most emerging infectious disease comes from animals, and industrialized animal farming can increase risk. “When we’re creating cheap meat, we’re actually creating a vast pathogen resource, a potential viral breeding ground, and making ourselves resistant to the most effective antibiotics that we have,” says Fernald.

“Propping up the meat industry is the last thing we need right now,” agrees Dr. Michael Greger, a critic of industrialized meat who runs the website NutritionFacts.org. “Not only because meat overconsumption worsens risk factors like heart disease... but because Big Ag may be brewing up Big Flu, a slew of new swine and bird flu viruses poised to potentially trigger the next pandemic.”

It’s a poignant lesson, says Fernald. “COVID is a broader story about meat, because it came fundamentally, it sounds like, from a wet market where animals are trafficked. … The whole story of COVID is a story of human boundaries with the animal kingdom, extractive mentalities about animals, and short-term thinking about animals and the planet.”

As the nation’s largest slaughterhouses and packing plants struggle and close, smaller slaughter and packing operations, on which independent butchers and small farmers depend, have been able to pick up some of the slack. “This has been just an absolute zoo,” says Christopher Young, executive director of the American Association of Meat Processors, which represents about 1,500 facilities with fewer than 500 workers. “I’ve had some of my members describe it as the week before Christmas on steroids.” Young attributes the boom to customers cooking more at home, avoiding crowds at grocery stores, and anticipating possible industrial meat shortages based on news reports.

Workers at small slaughter operations have stayed healthy compared to their counterparts at big plants. That’s by virtue of their size, says Debbie Farrara of Eagle Bridge Custom Meats, which slaughters for Gibson Family Farms. “I do believe it is ‘easier’ for us to make an attempt to keep our staff healthy and to social distance and still get our work done.” Her team of 20 is now spaced out more widely, and she’s also cut back on staff on some days, so that they can have less exposure to one another.

“We’re small enough that with a bit of creativity and effort we can make this work,” says Farrara. “We are grateful that our team has stayed healthy thus far.”

AP Photo/Paul Sancya A customer wearing gloves reaches for a package of pork

These fewer COVID cases at small plants might be due to little more than simple math, says Mike Lorentz, owner of Lorentz Meats in Cannon Falls, Minnesota, and co-owner of Vermont Packinghouse in North Springfield, Vermont. “These large plants in rural areas have to draw employees from a very large circle, and then they take that large draw, and they cram them into a small place. That feels like a formula to amplify a socially transmitted disease… it’s exponential.” But there is a cultural element that stems from size, too: Lorentz has established trust and community with his employees. It’s a family business.

In terms of size, Lorentz is a “big little guy.” Still, “there’s such a chasm between little plants and big plants,” he says. “I used to joke that the first day of the year, by about noon, a big plant has done more than what we’ll do that entire year. Now I think we’ve caught up a little bit — we’d be two or three days into January now.”

As a second-generation processor, Lorentz has watched consolidation shape his industry for decades. The total number of slaughtering plants in the country has gone down 70 percent since 1967, according to figures from the U.S. Department of Agriculture. There just aren’t many meat processing plants in the U.S. at all. Fewer than 6,500 federally inspected facilities, according to the USDA; just 617 slaughtering beef, and 612 slaughtering pork. In response to recent news reports about the industry, two senators, Tammy Baldwin of Wisconsin and Josh Hawley of Missouri, have reportedly asked the Fair Trade Commission to investigate the practices of Smithfield, Cargill, JBS, and Tyson.

Putting aside the potential effects of consolidation on animal welfare and environmental health, there’s a major human toll. Initially, higher wages lured workers from small to big meat plants, but pay eventually slumped. According to a USDA study, declining unionization coincided with changes in worker demographics as more immigrants entered the meat labor force. Conditions worsened in response, historian Roger Horowitz writes in his book Negro and White, Unite and Fight! A Social History of Industrial Unionism in Meatpacking, 1930-90. “Almost a century after Upton Sinclair’s pioneering expose of meatpacking, packinghouse workers in the United States have tragically returned to the jungle,” Horowitz writes.

When we sit down to eat, are we partaking of a sacrament, or participating in a desecration?

By contrast, Lorentz Meats is guided by a quote from the agrarian writer Wendell Berry. It’s inscribed on the walls, and Lorentz recites it from memory like a mantra. “We cannot live harmlessly at our own expense; we depend on other creatures and survive by their deaths. To live, we must daily break the body and shed the blood of Creation. The point is, when we do this knowingly, lovingly, skillfully, reverently, it is a sacrament; when we do it ignorantly, greedily, clumsily, destructively, it is a desecration.”

“I grew up in a family that processed meat,” Lorentz recalls. “My brother was the one that was in charge of the kill floor until 1997, when we bought my mom and dad out, and I worked on the kill floor, and I knew what it meant... Something is going to die to keep moving us forward, and once you start to realize that, you start doing that in a thoughtful way, and it changes the way you look at things.”

Slaughter on the whole has become a much more humane business, says Lorentz, even among the industry’s largest players. For that, he credits the industry-changing work of professor Temple Grandin, whose techniques have been adopted as USDA best practices. But there’s still work to be done on the farm and the factory floor. “Now the question is, ‘How do we treat the people?’ Are we giving them benefits, satisfying work?” Are our “essential” workers protected as such?

For Americans, our consolidated, industrial processing system has made it easy to consume meat without much thought. Cheap and plentiful, it becomes less a choice or privilege and more a right and convenience. But can it really be? With so much of our daily lives in question and our food system straining into visibility, we can’t help but ask ourselves: When we sit down to eat, are we partaking of a sacrament, or participating in a desecration?

Thinking back to the plant in Waterloo, Iowa, Sheriff Thompson says he’s not just angry at Tyson — he’s ashamed of himself. “I walked out of that plant as an elected official feeling like I’d let [those workers] down, too. So many of them are immigrants; they’re easy to take advantage of. These are hardworking people who do their shift and go home, and we never engage them… I didn’t protect them the way maybe we should have.”

Last Thursday, the Waterloo Tyson plant reopened after more than two weeks idle. Face masks and shields will be required, among other safety measures, and all workers will be tested for COVID-19 before returning to the job, Tyson executives said. To see that they actually do return, the company is distributing a $500 “thank you” bonus to workers in early May. It’s conditional upon their attendance.

Caleb Pershan is an NYC-based reporter and former editor of Eater SF.

Disclosure: Eater has a video series, Prime Time, hosted by Ben Turley and Brent Young of the Meat Hook.

via Eater - All https://www.eater.com/2020/5/13/21252510/america-meatpacking-industry-coronavirus-workers-at-risk-covid-19-impact

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