#I know that technically hasn't been cancelled yet but if it is I will be a prophet | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Total funding amounts to $125.3M.

#I know that technically hasn't been cancelled yet but if it is I will be a prophet

stuffforme2 · 15 days

Text

Okay listen I lvoe the pjo books and series with all ym heart but.. everyone talks about them like they're perfect WHICH THEYRE NOT any problems are kinda brushed under the rug and I find thst kinda werid? Like you'll see other books and TV shows get dragged and canceled for the stuff in Riordan books and yet pjo doesn't?? So.. uhhHHHH yeah that's jsut something I noticed.

The weird relationshipd ynamics. Rick is like allergic to someone bring okay with being single or jsut aromantic like you can say Reyna but her having a crush kn Jason?? Yes she rejected Apollo but her relationship with Jason deterioted brcuz she had a 'crush' on the guy and that doesn't really amke sense to me (I can go into so much detail kn this)

AND LEO AND CALYPSO OMFG that is a toxic relationship. The age gap. The way calypso treats Leo. The fact Leo SHOULD NOT be with someone like this man hasn't dealt with his attachment and Abandonment issues like st all?!

The literal only black character in the pjo books being beckendorf.. then he dies. Then the Korean/Asian (I'm not sure sorry) character dies, Ethan. And like I understand Percy is hinted st being Hispanic (have seen many ppl talk about this dont mnow if it's common knowldhe) but it's never confirmed or added??? I know Rick fixes it later but it's still weird to me lmaoo

Rick unable to keep consistent personality. Woobigying Nico OH MY GOD NICO HE BECOMES GAY AND THSTS WHDT EVERYONE FUCKING FOCUSES ON AND HE SHOULD'VE NEVER GOTTEN WITH WILL ATLWAST NOT THAT QUICK it's not healthy. Their relationship was rushed and didn't make sense I felt like people only like ot becuz it's a gay relationship??

And oh mygods— Samirah. I am not Muslim and I am not an expert on the Nuslim religion but there is so much shitbthatbeas wrong in thst book that I even knew was incorrect and jsut weird to happen?! The AMOUNT OF TIMES HER HIJAB CAME OFF and I'm also like "yaayyyy representation" but it could've been as easy as one Google search. one.

Jason. Jason as a whole. He had the most potential out of ANYONE and personally I think he had more potential then Percy like his story is so INTERESTING and then.. Rick knocked him iut with a brick multiple times, didn't work kn his sotry or trauma at all, then KILLED HIM. Same with Ethan. I am so Vitter about these two.. HELL EVEN LEO AND FRANK.

Also the way he made Annabeth first quest (first quest SHE IS LEADING AND IS HER PROHECY) all about Percy. I was reading it and I was like "bitxh— this is Annabeth Quest?!" LIKE he it pissed me off that Annabeth was swept to rhe side as Percy's lvoe interest giving her knly enough personality and stary to make her jnteredting enough to eb loved but never delving jntk it into Mark kf Athena and even at Mark of Athena it all rounded back tk her and Percy's relationship LIKE JESUS CHRIST DO THESE MFERS PASS THE BELLDAN TEST?!

The low key incest at the beginning ricj writing that all the demigods had the same impish features at rhe start and then.. jsut.. CHSNGING IT?!

Not letting a virgin goddess who has no history of having children have.. children.. NOW you may be wondering 'but then how would we get Annabeth?'— JUST GiVE ATHENA HER FAVOURITE CHOSEN PPL LIKE SHE DID WITH ODYSSEUS let her stay childless. Jsut let her choose some children she'd like as hers wonce they're Bron and she then blesses them as her heroes, that's how she treats them any way and it also gets rid of the incest?!

Also the fact it's implied that Annabeth is only smart becuz she's a child of Athena.. Rick made a virgin goddess technically have children so he can have a smart women character and that's just.. EuGGHHhHHh JUST LET HER BE SMART IT NOT THAT HARD "Oh, no, I'm not smart because Athena chose me.. Athena chose me because I was already smart" Smacks you with common fucking sense.

Also Annabeth ALWAYS needing to eb saves and its always done by a man. OMFG AND GROVES GF DHE HAS NO PERSONALITY OUTSIDE OF BEING SOEM GUSY GF EVEN THOUGH HES GONE FOR MKNTHS AND BAREKY CONTAXTS HER?!

The whole apheodite cabin. The whole aphrodite cabin. The whole aphrodite cabin.

The fact it's clear Rick doesn't think girly girls cant be strong or into fighting or able to wield a fuckign weapon. The way he makes nearly every girly girl into a total mean bitch or ruins their characters.

74 notes · View notes

baronessblixen · 5 months

Text

Candlelight Moments With You

Day six: candlelit snack

I'm doing the 24 Days of X-Mas Files Challenge that msrafterdark posted!

Summary: Mulder and Scully have to stop at a motel for the night. They make the best of it. (one room, some fluff, some candy. Yes, real candy. Wc: 1,201

Tagging @today-in-fic

The weather - and he doesn't want to quote the classic Christmas song at all, but it's all too fitting - is dreadful. He doesn't know if their flight was canceled. With the phone lines down, there is no way to call the airline. With the snowstorm raging outside, however, he can't imagine a single plane taking off, no matter where it is going.

This is why they're stuck here. He's not entirely sure where 'here' even is. It had started with soft flurries that neither worried Mulder nor Scully. Then, almost out of nowhere, the snow was coming down heavily, making it impossible to see where they were driving. They were going so slow, they probably could have walked.

After what felt like hours, but was most likely not more than thirty minutes, a snowed-in neon sign came into sight. They exchanged a look and the decision was made. They parked their car in the parking lot and by the time they'd taken out their bags, it was already covered by a soft white blanket. They were lucky, too. The motel had one room left. It's drafty and basic, but better than being out in the storm.

At least it was until a few minutes ago when the power went out. Mulder turned on his flashlight and put it on a table like a candle. But of course, he hasn't changed the batteries in a while, and the light keeps flickering.

"Merry Christmas," Scully mutters, sitting on the bed in her pajamas.

"Technically," Mulder says, "it's not Christmas yet. We'll be back in time."

"You don't know that." She's right, of course. He can't know it. But he's Mulder and he wants to believe. Even if he can't get Scully home for Christmas Eve, he's determined to deliver her to her family on Christmas morning at the latest.

"And we'll soon be without light. It's only a matter of time until it will be freezing in here. We haven't even eaten." Scully's voice carries dejection in it and it hits Mulder straight in his heart. He can't bring the power back, or make the snow stop, but maybe there's something he can do.

"Will you be okay if I take the flashlight and go talk to the receptionist?" He points the light at her and she narrows her eyes.

"Sure," she says, crawling under the blanket, and getting comfortable. He can't tear his eyes away from her until she smiles softly, giving him a spark of hope.

It's a small motel, so there aren't many people here, but some are also seeking out the receptionist. A child is crying and Mulder makes a funny face, distracting it into a hiccupy laugh.

"We know that the power is out and no, we don't know when it will be back," the receptionist says in a monotone voice when it's Mulder's turn.

"I just wanted to ask for a few candles."

"We don't usually allow candles in our rooms."

"My partner and I are Federal Agents," Mulder says, flashing his badge. "We can handle it."

"Fine. But don't let the other guests know." Mulder grabs the two candles he's offered and stuffs them into his pockets.

"Do you sell any food?"

"Does this look like a restaurant, Mister? No, we don't."

"Thanks." Mulder stands in the lobby, his stomach grumbling. It's been hours since they last stopped to eat and he feels it. And he knows how Scully gets on an empty stomach.

"You don't happen to have a vending machine anywhere close, do you?" He returns to the receptionist, who rolls his eyes.

"We used to. But not anymore. You're on your own. Unless..."

"Unless what?" The receptionist's head disappears under the desk. When he comes back up, he's holding a bag of chips and another bag with heart-shaped fruit gum.

"I'm willing to sell you these."

"Sell? How much?" Mulder fishes out his wallet, figuring the guy would want five or maybe ten bucks for the snacks.

"$100." Mulder stares at the young man whose expression is steady.

"You're kidding."

"My mom gave me these. So $100 or no deal." Mulder checks his wallet, grumbling.

"I have $81 and some change."

"I'll take it."

Candles in his pockets, chips and fruit gum in hand, Mulder returns to his and Scully's motel room.

"Mulder?" she asks.

"Were you expecting someone else? Power is gonna be out for a while," he says. "But I have candles." He grins at her, her face unreadable in the shadows. He uses a matchstick to light the candles and the soft flickering plunges them into a soft light.

"Tada," Mulder says. "We have light. And I have food."

"You do?" Scully sits up in bed.

"Willing to share the bed?" he asks her, feeling surprisingly bashful. She scoots over and pats the space next to her.

"What did you bring?"

"Well, it was as expensive as a restaurant visit." Scully throws him a confused look. "But quality is more gas station." He hands the chips to her and she tears open the bag, digging in.

"Wow," he says, forgetting his own hunger. "You really were hungry, huh?" She just nods, taking the other bag out of his hands.

"Are these-"

"Hearts? Yeah."

"And they say romance is dead." He watches her - momentarily speechless - as she opens the bag of fruit gum too and stuffs two little hearts into her mouth.

"What did you mean these were expensive?" she asks as she offers him a heart. Their fingers meet as he takes it from her.

"The little shit demanded $100."

"Please tell me you didn't pay that."

"I paid $81," he admits. "Was all I had. You're worth it, too."

"Mulder, you're crazy," she says, licking her salt-peppered fingers.

"What else is new?" He chuckles. "I didn't want you to go hungry."

"Thank you." She looks at him, her eyes earnest. "I'm sorry for being... I know the snowstorm wasn't your fault. I'm just tired."

"And hungry," he adds, nudging her shoulder with his.

"And hungry," she confirms.

"I promise that I'll take you to breakfast, lunch, and dinner as soon as we can leave again."

"Mulder, are you asking me out on a date?" He stares at the heart-shaped fruit gum in his hand. She's long taken over his heart; it beats to the rhythm of his love for her.

"If you accept me," he says gently, offering him the heart. The one in his palm and the one in his chest.

"Mulder," she mumbles, taking the fruit gum. "You know, this almost is a date right here."

"Hm?"

"Candlelight," she says, "and food. Or something like it."

"I'd like to take you on a real date. One day."

"I'd like that, too. One day." She eats the fruit gum, her eyes remaining on his face. "You look like you're gonna faint. Eat something." She holds a chip up to his mouth and he accepts it, his lips closing over her finger. He can't tell what flavor the chips are, but he knows he wants more.

"More?" he asks in a whisper. She smiles at him and nods. But he doesn't get another chip. Instead, he gets a kiss.

#ficmas2023 #without alarm clock incidents today hopefully #msr #xf fanfic #my writing #my fic

41 notes · View notes

moongothic · 4 months

Text

Yeah no I can't stop thinking about this. I need to get this extremely cursed theory out of my system. Let's just go.

Could Rayleigh and Shakky be Crocodile's parents?

So the thing is, I was gonna post about this like ages ago, but then I canned my original post. Because I realized that based on the timeline we have, for this theory to be true Shakky would've had to become pregnant at age 17 and given birth at 18 while Rayleigh was like 31. And needless to say, that's gross as hell. So yeah, I cancelled that original theory post because of that.

But then I realized that between Oda repeatedly treating 17 year olds as """not children""" in OP (see: Dragon literally saying Luffy isn't a child anymore at age 17), and other shit like how 16 year old Pudding was almost married to 21 year old Sanji

Like shit's creepy as hell. But alas, because Oda is Oda, it would actually fit in-universe. Like the theory is still fucking viable. Because fucking Oda, man.

And god fucking damnit the thought just keeps on haunting me. Because I am unironically curious whether or not this could be a genuine, viable theory. So yeah. I just need to get this theory out of my system. Let's just get it done with, alright

So what kind of started off this theory in my mind was remembering Buggy's off-hand comment/joke about Rayleigh being Luffy's uncle

Because that got me also thinking about some other, vaguely related theories, and like... Like we all know these theories, right;

that Luffy's mom is a Kuja (people speculate that's why Kuma sent him to Amazon Lily, that Luffy had a connection to the island)

that Crocodile has Kuja heritage (the Missing Empress is pretty much debunked but it is a popular, related and vaguely relevant theory too)

that Crocodile is Luffy's other dad

And I could not help but to wonder if these theories could somehow be combined together into one Giga Theory

And the funny thing is, we know that Rayleigh did marry a Kuja Empress, Shakky. Which actually does mean that the four theories could be mashed together. Like sure the other three theories could already be combo'd together but Buggy's theory would somehow really complement the other theories and bring them all together???

Of course, if Crocodad is real and Rayleigh turned out to be Crocodile's dad, then Buggy's comment wouldn't be fully accurate, since Rayleigh would be Luffy's other grandfather, not uncle. But it'd still be funny as hell in its own right, since the two would turn out to be blood-relatives. Like how the fuck was Buggy onto something there. Not to mention, as of now, two of Buggy's predictions in the Summit War Saga have already turned true (him becoming a Shichibukai and then a Yonkou, the only one that hasn't come true yet is him becoming Pirate King)

But indeed, if Shakky and Rayleigh were Crocodile's parents, then that would mean Crocodile would have Kuja heritage, it would mean Luffy's birthing parent was (technically) a Kuja, Buggy's joke would be kind of true and, yeah, Crocodad Real. That would be insane. We got a full fucken bingo over here

But then we have all these details to considder;

We know Shakky quit being the Kuja Empress and a pirate 42 years ago, when she moved to Sabaody and opened her bar. We don't know why she did this move, especially because at this point Rayleigh should've still been adventuring with Roger's crew

At that point, Crocodile would've been 4 years old

Based on Baby Croc's art, he isn't wearing Kuja clothes. If he had been raised in Amazon Lily then surely he would've been wearing their clothes*, but if he moved to Sabaody with Shakky and was raised there, then his get-up would fit in just fine

The trivia books claim Crocodile is a Grand Line native; regardless of if he was raised in Amazon Lily or Sabaody, both would add up

*(To be fair, if Oda had drawn Baby Croc in Kuja Clothes, that would've been a MASSIVE SPOILER to drop in an SBS. And Film Z did go out of its way to NOT include Baby Croc in the credits when all the other Baby Shichibukai were, so like, Baby Croc's art isn't Absolute Lore or anything, it is subject to change)

Indeed, if Shakky had decided to move out of Amazon Lily and went to Sabaody specifically knowing that if Roger's crew ever passed by then that would make sense, since it would mean she'd have an increased chance at seeing her husband again (if only briefly). It would also make sense if she moved out with her child and/or because she had a child, since it'd make it easier for her to ensure her child and the father could maybe get to meet and spend time together, as staying on Amazon Lily would've meant Rayleigh wouldn't have been able to enter the town even if he DID swam all the way there. (Also her options would've been to either leave her child behind or bring the child with her, and if she didn't want the kid to grow up in Amazon Lily for whatever reason then this would've been the perfect opportunity to remove that child from the island)

If Crocodile grew up in Sabaody then it could explain things like Baby Croc's serious expression and how he has a gun; there are dangerous people in Sabaody, the kid would've had to learn to defend himself from a young age (and I'm sure Shakky would've been happy to teach her child how to fight, since the Kuja are fierce warriors and being powerful is beautiful etc). It would also explain Crocodile's racism towards Jinbei, since anti-Fishman racism is a common issue in Sabaody. He would also have grown up in a place where slavery and other shit is a commonly known and seen thing, as well as the crimes of the Tenryuubito. This would explain a lot about his general attitude towards the World Government

Also, if both of Crocodile's parents were pirates, and his dad also happened to literally be on the ship of the Pirate King... Yeah it would explain his career choises. And why he had gone to Roger's execution too, since that would've been not just the Greatest Pirate In The World, but also his father's captain

And if these two were Croc's parents, it could explain his title; he could be "Sir" Crocodile because he is the son of an empress, or it could be a fucked up abbreviation from Silvers (note: it doesn't work like that in Japanese, since "sir" is like "saa" while "silvers" is "shirubaasu", but that's why I said "fucked up abbreviation")

Either way, his fullname would then be Sir Silvers Crocodile

A fitting name for a silver medalist, is it not

I just. I hate how much sense this would make

Also I'll throw this out there; don't want to put too much money on the whole "they look similar" thing due to Oda's same face syndrome, but there is an argument to be made about Oda's fem!Croc looking quite similar to Shakky, while if you squint your eyes, a younger Rayleigh could kinda look a bit like regular Croc (they even have the same haircut, awe), though it's hard to judge since we have so little art of young Rayleigh and old Rayleigh is, well, visibly much older than Crocodile

Really the only things I can think of that COULD debunk the idea are that Crocodile is MUCH TALLER than either Rayleigh or Shakky, and his bloodtype doesn't match (the two are A/AB while Croc is O). And my normal instinct would be like "if they were related then surely these details would add up because Oda is insane", but also. They are minor details. IDK man

Also, Crocodile aside. Shakky and Rayleigh have known each other for a long ass time, and Rayleigh's tendency to sleep around, it is entirely possible the two could have had a child at some point. And that really would explain why Shakky quit being an Empress. Like it doesn't even have to be Crocodile, it would just make sense if they had a kid and if that kid became the reason to Shakky quitting. The question is, who could that child then be?? And what happened to them??

#Moon posting #OP Meta #Sir Crocodile #Crocodad #Alright I had to get this cursed concept out of my system. It has been exorcised from my brain. Let us never discuss this ever again

25 notes · View notes

callmegaith · 18 days

Note

There's a line from David in roots in the last section when you talk to him that's like. "I hope I will not be the one to die tonight" or smth similar and. Explodes so hard. I think about it SOOO often. I don't have words but. Yeah.

Paradise*

(roots = Vanderbooms

Paradise = Eilanders

Don't worry, it's common for them to be mix up in the fanbase. xD)

I ALWAYS WAS LIKE "WHY THE FUCK WOULD U SAY THAT?! UR ASS KNOWS UR NOT THE ONE WHOS GONNA GET KILLED UR NOT THE FIRST BORN" unless there was a reason for this line that we simply just don't know yet and it'll make more sense in the future.

I have read one theory that tried to explain this and it's that David is the son of Caroline and Gerard, so technically, he would be their first born. Tho the only thing backing this up is that David's hair color and mannerism is more like Gerard's and that he seems to always be closer to Gerard even in the family photo

Wild if true but I don't think that would generally cancel out Jakob being the first born since he's older xD

Tbh? I think David was just being sarcastic and funny. The same way he was in the beginning when he said to Jakob "it's been a while, brother" even tho he hasn't seen Jakob since he was a toddler, too young to even know or remember he had a brother. Is it a dick move? Yeah. But is it hilarious? Also yes.

#asks!#RL: lore and theories

15 notes · View notes

hot-take-tournament · 7 months

Text

by the way, i've been wondering

if we do go back to the preliminary polls after the mini-bracket

what do we, like, call them...?

i mean, realistically, we should stop calling them preliminaries now, right?

because, at least for the forseeable future, we'll never do the bracket - so calling them preliminaries will just be confusing for anyone who finds this blog in the future and doesn't know the context behind it

so, we should obviously stop calling them preliminaries, and call them something else - that just makes sense

...

but

the take you guys validated wasn't 'we should cancel the bracket', it was 'the bracket should never start'

and according to the rules of the tournament that were laid out from the beginning, if that take is generally considered to be true, it means the actual bracket, the one in the master post, hasn't actually started yet, and also isn't actually cancelled

it's just that we're stuck in an endless hot take time loop of preliminaries and we'll never actually do it, which is different - we haven't officially decided not to do it, it's more like... we'll just never quite get around to it

and after all, i didn't actually decide to do the mini bracket until after i posted the miku vs chicken smoothie matchup, which was unironically randomly selected out of hundreds of possible takes - that's why it doesn't have '#1' in the title, it was intended more as a sneak peek of the actual bracket, and also because it's insanely cursed. i only decided to add the other 6 takes after that one was posted

so the bracket we're doing now is still a preliminary bracket, just one with (mostly) unselected takes - it might be a bracket, but it's not the bracket, which was never technically cancelled

so really, we are still doing preliminaries - it's just that we'll be doing them forever, for a bracket that will forever be just out of reach

like sisyphus endlessly pushing his boulder up the hill, but never quite getting to the top

and despite it clearly being the worst option, honestly the idea of still calling them preliminaries forever but just never reaching the actual intended bracket is weirdly hilarious to me

tl;dr: basically, it's either do the sensible and helpful thing by changing the poll titles so the blog is more accessible to everyone - or choose the infinitely worse and more cursed and confusing option of vehemently following the rules and keep calling them preliminaries forever

because it's got the same cursed energy i've come to expect from this blog

i know the first choice is clearly the better option from pretty much every angle, but the second one is weirdly tempting

so i'll just go with whatever you guys decide

lawful good or chaotic evil

i think i know you guys well enough by now to know which one you'll pick so i'm going to write down my guess and if i get it wrong i'll drink orange joe lol

#hot take tournament

34 notes · View notes

djservo · 4 months

Note

it’s that time of year again… 🎄🎅🎉🎊 no. the highlights of your 2023 media consumption of course! just like last year, i want to know your top 5 films, books, tv shows, songs/albums, pop culture moments if that’s your thing, and as a bonus: any favourite personal moment/achievement in the last year? new to you, new in release, either works! can’t wait to see your response and wishing you a happy new year! 😁🩷

oh man I'm late but YAYYYYYY I luv these round ups + appreciate U so much for asking each year! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! 🫂🎆

films: sooooo many good first watches in 2023, surprisingly a lot in the first couple months which I think set a precedent for a year of fruitful viewings 🔮 I made a top 25 list so shoutout to the other 20 that I painstakingly sifted from 300+ watches but ok my top 5 were:

Rapture (1979) dir. Iván Zulueta

Tampopo (1985) dir. Jūzō Itami

The Last of Sheila (1973) dir. Herbert Ross

Mirch Masala (1987) dir. Ketan Mehtal

Pickpocket (1959) dir. Robert Bresson

I also finished Pedro Almodóvar's filmography (except for the latest short) which was really satisfying so I feel like that also deserves a shoutout + I hope to complete other fav directors' filmographies this year too!

books: Dogeaters by Jessica Hagedorn, Near to the Wild Heart by Clarice Lispector, The Essential Dykes to Watch Out For by Alison Bechdel, The Carnivorous Lamb by Agustín Gómez Arcos, The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison -- ALL FICTION, CAN YOU BELIEVE!! I really loved a lot of the nonfiction I read last year too but these stories stuck with me the most/lingered on my mind the longest

music: I'm bad at keeping up with new music so I don't really have new releases to gush about like if I had to think of strictly 2023 releases I probably enjoyed Mitski + Kelela's albums the most but if I'm so real I didn't really come back to either of them often -- the artists I did consistently return to throughout the year were Danza Invisible, Chanel Beads, Hope Sandoval & The Warm Inventions, Pixies, and like all 3 of Kathleen Hanna's bands 🧘‍♀️

tv shows: I'm even worse at tv we know this but I got my sister hooked on early Survivor seasons so that's a win in my book 🙏 the last few months of the year I watched a lot of Boy Meets World + Portlandia randomly, probably bc I got sick for the first time in years n just wanted some easy watching that I knew I'd like.. OH and The State!! overall, yet another great year of watching irrelevant television that hasn't been on air for years 🙌

2023 was a really good year of reconnecting with friends + family for me!! I saw people I hadn't seen or spoken to in yearssssss just because of life and distance and whatnot but I've been more willing to go out of my way to make things happen/make my desire to reconnect #known and it's been really fruitful + reminds me of being in college doing the most just to go to a concert or meet up with some friends for the weekend IDK like the "inconvenience" of the process making the result that much sweeter or whateva :-) this one's silly and random but I cancelled my spotify premium subscription a few days ago (missed the billing cycle by a day so technically I'm still a premium user til the end of this month smh) which I've been meaning to do for a while but Finally I did it and I feel like this

#asks #cheesehair

8 notes · View notes

tortoisesshells · 7 months

Text

Tagged by @jomiddlemarch & @aloveforjaneausten - thank you for thinking of me, kind friends!

Favorite color: blue, as always.

Last song: catching up on this week's All Songs Considered driving home last night and the last song I caught before pulling into the drive was "Summers Fingers Sweetly Linger (Everywhere on Every Side)" off Daniel Bachman's upcoming album? Intentionally? "You Never Even Called Me by My Name" (paging @theonlyredcar)

Last movie: supporting the Mercy Street alums (& Hallmark is really great to handsew to because I can zone out for an hour while fussing with gathers), and caught Notes of Autumn.

Currently watching: I'm on episode 61 of 1245 of Dark Shadows and losing my mind. The vampire hasn't even shown up yet. (you all should experience this soap yourself. it's free on tubi. do it.)

Other stuff I watched this year: Hmm. The English, courtesy of @sagiow; technically I watched 1899 last year but I've been rewatching it a truly unhinged amount; Dark, which I cannot recommend highly enough to everyone for any reason; the new season of Shadow and Bone although I barely remember anything that happened; a lot of reruns of Murder, She Wrote.

Shows I dropped this year: In order for me to drop a show, I'd actually have to start watching something new that wasn't immediately canceled. That said, I was watching All Creatures Great and Small with a friend but we're on indefinite hiatus because she's gotten swamped with other things.

Currently reading: Give Me A Fast Ship (thank you @mercurygray!), and a fairly antiquarian history of [town redacted], [state redacted] because whoops I fell down a rabbithole of "the history of this area as described in this hiking map/brochure is wrong and I know it's wrong but I don't know enough about the area to say what's right" and unfortunately I have a friend from that town who grabbed said antiquarian book from that town library for me. Ask me about bog iron, I guess.

Tagging: @theonlyredcar, @vimeswasright, @mercurygray, @pomprincesse, @sagiow, @boltlightning, @johnbly, @undisclosed-serendipity, @widowshill, @starsuncounted.

#tag meme #polkaknox talks #i cannot get away from iron production in my rabbitholes these days. in the back of my mind 'youngstown' and 'allentown' are playing.

12 notes · View notes

jewishtwig · 1 year

Note

not the same anon who had the gall to ask that, but I just wanted your thoughts on this:

I am actively converting to Judaism. I've been taking religious study classes and conversion classes at my temple on and off for a few years (due to medical and monetary issues I haven't been able to go all the way through)

Since I'm in a better situation now, I'm expecting to finish my conversion within the next year. All the rabbi's at my temple, as well as the rest of the congregation say it's fair to call myself Jewish since I've dedicated so many years to study and put in the effort, and since I wholeheartedly intend on converting.

I'm not sure about it though? Like I'm not "really" Jewish yet but everyone at my temple says I'm allowed to call myself so. what do you think? Sorry if this is rude or weird I'm just uncertain

Hi! Congratulations on your upcoming conversion!

Your Rabbis and your congregation know you and know your situation better than I ever could. If they say you can call yourself Jewish, and you feel comfortable doing so, then I have absolutely no right to tell you otherwise.

This isn't a weird question, and certainly not a rude one! If it helps, my Rabbi and congregation told me basically the same thing after my first Beit Din was canceled last minute due to a health emergency. Apparently, it is not an entirely uncommon situation.

There's a huge difference between someone who just started the conversion process or hasn't started it at all calling themselves Jewish and someone who's so close to finishing the process and has been told by their conversion Rabbi they can call themselves Jewish.

If you choose to call yourself Jewish, that is up to you. As you already know, you won't technically be Jewish until your conversion.

Whatever you choose, good luck on your journey! 💙

#asks #<3

13 notes · View notes

greenieflor · 2 years

Text

I turn 22 in less than 24 hours. Technically it's longer, cause I was born at night, but that doesn't matter right now. I'm having a party today with my closest friends, most of whom I haven't seen in nearly two months because I got fired from my job. My partner is spending the night and we will spend my birthday together. My party is greek mythology themed, it will be the people I love most celebrating and spending time together. I'm getting brunch tomorrow and wearing my favourite jumpsuit.

Historically my birthday hasn't been a great day. I didn't get a ton of parties as a kid, in part due to my "behaviour" as determined by my parents, I suspect in part because we didn't have the money, and because most of the time- no one was in town. I never got to bring cupcakes into school on my birthday, I only ever got to celebrate it at camp once.

I can't remember if I have had a birthday where I didn't cry. I've had a few (two) good ones in recent years and they still end up with me, alone, sad, and reevaluating friendships.

I haven't talked to my father since the end of December. He was my sanctuary growing up. Those weekends I spent with him were some of the only reprieve I got from my mom. I forgot about father's day this year. My eighth birthday fell on father's day. He bought himself a car. I don't remember any birthday celebrations.

I can't sleep. It's three in the morning the day before my birthday, the day of my party, and I can't sleep. I'm more anxious than I've been in quite some time because I really need this birthday to be good. I know it will be. I'm who I am, I will be spending it with people I love and who love me, I get to dress up as Persephone the day before the summer solstice and yet I'm scared. I'm scared something will go wrong. I'm scared that, once again, I will be crying on my birthday.

I'm not doing anything with family this year. I cancelled on my mom last week. I haven't seen my sister since Christmas and before that it was my grandmother's funeral. This past year has been full of so many changes and I'm doing so much better with change, but for once I'm scared that things won't change.

This is long and rambly and the tears I'm shedding while writing it don't count because it's not my actual birthday and I still have to sleep before my party so technically it's still yesterday.

0 notes

s-brant · 3 years

Text

Cherry Bowl (3/8)

(gif: @kiekiecarrera) (PART TWO) (PART FOUR) (SERIES MASTERLIST)

Summary: When Kie cancels their plans together, Y/N asks JJ on a date to the Cherry Bowl Drive-In. Unsure of how to navigate his first ever date, JJ seeks out advice. Unfortunately, the night doesn’t go as planned, and both parties are left shaken by miscommunication.

Word Count: 10.6k

Warnings: Smut, public sex/exhibitionism, sexual choking, angst, depictions of mental illness, post-traumatic stress disorder, and implied/referenced abuse.

A/N: Welcome back to Tokens! Slight trouble in paradise is brewing for these two lovers, so buckle up and read because it’s gonna be a rollercoster for a little while after what happens in this chapter. I hope you all like it, and if you did, feedback is very appreciated. Have fun!

"I'm just saying that oatmeal raisin is superior to chocolate chip, why is that such an egregious crime, Kie?"

The lunch room is filled to the brim with students going to town on questionably cooked frozen foods, soggy tater tots, and sugary drinks from the vending machines despite the Obama-era posters on the walls advocating for healthier school lunches that never seemed to make their way to Kildare County High. The extent of their healthy lunches extended to a serving of overcooked canned green beans served with the worst slice of doughy pizza known to human kind, so it was sort of contradictory.

Y/N sits across the table from Pope and JJ, the latter of which being the one who launched into a full-fledged debate with Kiara about which type of cookie was better.

The clear cling wrap sits, unfolded, on the table with one of her stickers neatly placed on the back of it. As consolation for his epic loss yesterday at the beach, she paid an extra .75 cents to get him it when she arrived first to their shared lunch period—one of only two class periods they have together, the other being gym. He was still in line when she peeled a surfboard sticker off of her sheet and placed it at the center of the wrapped up cookie as if to remind him of her triumph over him in the waves.

"Thanks, hot stuff," he said, voice somewhat quieter despite the fact that hardly anyone was in the cafeteria with them. Then his smile dropped into an deadpan expression as soon as he saw her choice of sticker and looked back up at her. "You're never gonna let me live that one down, are you?"

"Never in a million years. I'll be gloating about it until I'm elderly."

"That's my girl."

The sound of the constant chatter surrounding them from at least two hundred other people drowns out the memories of yesterday that threaten to haunt her when she watches him debate with Kie. The mere recollection of their night in the back of the van has her reaching to pull the collar of her cropped tee up to assure that the hickeys remain hidden on instinct, and he catches the action out of the corner of his eye. It has him fighting a smile.

Kie quips, "Maybe on another planet, but, here, I think we can all agree chocolate chip is better, right Y/N?"

Y/N's eyes widen around a forkful of mushy "green beans" at the sound of her name being said bringing her from the depths of her memories.

Usually, she's quick to jump in and give her two cents on whatever stupid back and forth they're all having, but her mind was elsewhere. Unbeknownst to Kie and Pope, she was mentally reliving every second of getting fucked in the van last night, so her attention to detail when it comes to the Chocolate Chip vs Oatmeal Raisin case isn't all too sharp.

"Uhhh," she stops for a second, looking at the half eaten chocolate chip cookie in Kie's hand, "If I say chocolate chip is better, can I get a piece of it?"

Kie's face lights up at her words, and she's already pulling off a generous chunk of the baked good to hand off to her. The sound of a certain someone whose lap Y/N's legs are outstretched onto from beneath the table scoffing distracts her from the first bite.

"I know you prefer oatmeal raisin, you traitor," JJ says.

Their brunette friend's brows scrunch.

"Why is she a traitor?"

They try to keep from making any faces or giving anything away, but Y/N has to stifle the sound of her choking on her mouthful of cookie at the question. You'd think one of them came out and asked if they were dating or something with how she reacts, and she feels JJ squeeze her ankle in a non-verbal way of telling her to hold it together. It was her idea in the first place, yet he's a lot smoother with keeping it under the radar.

Under it all, the aspect of keeping it a secret does unnerve him to a degree. He doesn't think he'd be brave enough to communicate it, especially not when their relationship remains undefined, but the darker side of his mind wonders...

He shrugs, saying, "Cause we were friends first. Duh. Other than John B, I've known her the longest."

None of them stop to acknowledge the identical aches in their hearts at the mentioning of his name. They skip right over it like it never happened. After the funeral a few days ago, they've filled their quota on mushy-gushy sad talk for the next week and a half.

The real reason is something far more complicated than him having a claim staked on her loyalty through having the longest friendship. It's something tied up in days of slowly getting pulled into one another's worlds like the tug of gravity itself, in how he has to refrain from slipping his arm around her waist in the hallway or kissing her goodbye after a sleepover at the Chateau. But until she gives him the go-ahead, he won't let it slip to anyone.

Pope speaks up from beside him, "You literally met her twenty minutes before we did."

"Still counts. Technically, I did meet her first, so her betraying Team Oatmeal Raisin is enough to be tried for treason in Pogue Court."

"Pogue Court isn't a thing."

He crosses his arms after he pops the rest of the cookie into his mouth.

"It is now. You can be tried for treason for breaking the rules. Rule number one is that all Pogues have to admit oatmeal raisin is superior."

He's about to ball up the cling wrap to throw away later when the surfboard sticker catches his attention again. It's the same color as his board, which he'd like to think is a result of her being an evil mastermind that went out to get this sticker sheet for the sole purpose of teasing him, but he's the one who got her the sheet as a gift for her birthday, so he knows it was pure coincidence.

Last second, he peels the sticker away from the cling wrap and looks down to place it over the top of her yellow converse that were once a vibrant, paler color when Big John got them for her, but have since turned into an ugly mustard/dirt-dusted color they heckle her over.

"What are the other rules?" Y/N asks.

One of the hands holding onto where her feet are casually planted in his lap, something that they've done long enough that their friends won't see it as anything odd, slides down to caress the stretch of skin beneath the frayed hem of her dark jeans. Something she didn't know about him before whatever it is they have together started was that he constantly needs to be touching her. She can't say she doesn't love it though.

Pope answers, "The oatmeal raisin rule is not official"—a pointed glance at JJ—"But I'd assume the rest of the rules of Pogue Court would be no lying and no macking."

"So, basically you two break almost every rule except the oatmeal raisin one, and I lie," JJ says and turns to look at her, "How does it feel to be better than everyone, Y/N?"

"Pretty good, not gonna lie."

He keeps caressing little circles and tracing up and down her skin beneath the flared out pant leg of her jeans while he swipes his phone off of the table top without attracting the attention of their friends, who continue on to a new topic. She isn't too focused on what it is. She only picks up that it has something to do with a class they're in that's more advanced that hers, so she promptly checks out of the conversation.

Ever since John B died, she hasn't been performing too well in school. She tries, truly tries, but her mind outright refuses to absorb any of the information. When she reads her assigned reading, she hovers over the same paragraphs over and over until she shuts the book in a huff and hides it in her backpack again. Losing someone you love has a surprising amount of side effects.

Her phone buzzing in her hand brings her away from the impending cloud of doom that often accompanies any thoughts of John B, and when she taps in her passcode, her brother's birthday, a message bubble appears with a banner displaying JJ's contact name.

JJ (Derogatory) ur a good liar. prob could've fooled me if i weren't the one macking on u

Their eyes meet for a second across the table, then he watches her thumbs move to type a response.

Kief Princess Little do they know I break every rule now that I've switched sides on the cookie debate. Kinda impressive ngl.

JJ (Derogatory) triple threat, baby

JJ (Derogatory) thanks for the cookie btw

She smiles to herself, so wrapped up in their own world that she doesn't notice everyone in the room starting to pack up their stuff in anticipation of the bell that is due to ring any second now.

Kief Princess Had to repay you for last night somehow ;)

When she glances up to see his reaction, she watches his chest rise with a particularly large inhale, and he chews on the inside of his lip in thought.

JJ (Derogatory) strategically bringing up last night so i'm turned on in physics? ur an evil mastermind

Kief Princess I try.

Kief Princess Apparently whooping your sorry ass at surfing isn't the only thing I'm good at.

She hears him scoff.

JJ (Derogatory) first of all, ouch. second, u barely beat me

Kief Princess I'm happy to challenge you to a rematch. I have plans with Kie tonight, so I can't till this weekend. All it'll prove is that I am the rightful winner, but we knew that already.

JJ (Derogatory) what r the stakes this time

Kief Princess No sexual favors. If you beat me (fat chance) I'll formally rejoin team oatmeal raisin.

JJ (Derogatory) :( sex makes it more fun but i still accept those conditions

JJ (Derogatory) team oatmeal raisin needs u, even if ur a traitor

Kief Princess Why bet sexual favors if you're just gonna fuck me after anyway?

JJ (Derogatory) good point

The sound of the bell ringing echoes through the cafeteria, and they both pop their heads up from their phone screens to see everyone, including Pope and Kie, already packed up and raising from their seats to scurry off in the direction of their next classes. Meanwhile, their stuff is all bestrewn across the table, particularly JJ's belongings.

The sight of Kie walking away makes Y/N ask after her, "We're still on for tonight, right?

She stops with Pope's hand interwoven in hers. The look on her face when she turns would make you think she got caught doing something she wasn't meant to. Something like forgetting about the plans they made last week to watch Fear Street together. The Cherry Bowl Drive-In is premiering the first two movies as a double feature for the horror movie buffs of Kildare, so they decided to get tickets. Kiara shares a fondness of horror movies with her. Since gory movies make the boys squirm, though JJ pretends they don't, it's their own thing.

"Actually, Pope and I were gonna go to the beach. I'm sorry."

JJ knows she's more upset about it than she lets on, but Y/N simply gives the pair a smile that doesn't reach the eyes.

The sound of JJ behind her makes them laugh on their way out, diffusing the minor tension lingering in the air from the awkward encounter, "Use protection!"

After their friends offer them a goodbye, they gather their stuff quite leisurely, not really caring about being late.

It's something they've talked about before here or there: her feelings surrounding Kiara and Pope's sudden relationship. It's not as if she harbors any ill feelings for them, she doesn't, but the ripple effects of their pairing on the group, and more importantly the girls' own friendship, couldn't be clearer from her perspective. Between the missed hangouts, forgotten plans, and the convenient way she never seems to have time to hang out with her and JJ unless Pope is there too, it's been building up for a month now.

What makes it sting the most is how close her and Kie used to be. They didn't hit it off immediately the way she and JJ did as children until her thirteenth birthday when no one she invited showed up to the party Big John helped her set up in the yard of the Chateau.

She was the one who rallied the boys together to walk to ask their school friends from the year above to come hang out for an hour or two, promising a slice of the wonky-looking but delicious strawberry cake her and John B spent the morning crafting together. She can remember the sound of their high-pitched laughs and the cloud of flour that hung in the kitchen when they high-fived over the finished product like it was yesterday. In her heart, it was yesterday.

That night was when she fell in love with her friends, and that was when she first knew Kiara was her best friend. They wove friendship bracelets on each other that night and wore them for years until they withered away. No one had ever done something like that for her before. Not even JJ.

"You okay?"

Feeling his hand on her arm, slipping down to take her hand for a moment in the seclusion of the empty cafeteria, makes her glance up at him with a distinct sorrow washed over her features.

You know what? Screw this. Why should she be torn up over Kie and let it ruin her excitement for the double feature tonight? There's no way in hell she's letting her best friend ditching her for her boyfriend get in the way of her plans.

"Do you wanna go on a date tonight?" she asks him abruptly, then adds, "To the Cherry Bowl with me instead of Kie?"

The question sparks a pause in his mind, a halt of hesitation in which he worries about her avoiding having to answer what he asked, but he attempts to play it cool and not fuss over her outwardly. There have been times where being treated like that has made her feel suffocated, so he doesn't want to risk it. When she's ready, she'll talk about it, and if she takes too long and buries her feelings, then he'll intervene. For now, he tries to keep his face neutral despite the frown tempting his lips at her disappointment.

JJ looks around once more before throwing his arm around her shoulder to walk her out.

"You bet your ass I do."

What is a person supposed to act like on their first date that's not actually a date cause everything between them is the same, but kinda is a date because they called it one? If you ever find out, please find JJ and tell him because he has no clue.

Pope wasn't too much help in the Instagram group chat he made for it seeing as his and Kie's relationship is too fresh, John B isn't even alive, so he's out of service for advice unless there's Ouija Board he can borrow, and, thankfully, Kiara was his savior.

Their phones began blowing up as soon as he reached his class after lunch period ended. He couldn't under any circumstances let it be known that this mystery girl he had a date with was their friend, but thankfully Y/N already had the alibi of going to the Drive-In alone. All he had to do was make up a fake date scenario and get basic advice.

danknugstickiestickies added kiara-c and popeheyward to the groupchat

danknugstickiestickies named the group HELP ME

danknugstickiestickies i have a date with this chick i met on the beach when i was out with y/n last week. i need ur advice

His phone screen lit up with the notification that both of his friends were typing, signified with the three dot symbol bouncing in the bottom left corner as he thought it through. They couldn't possibly figure it out, right? They'd been careful, he'd been respectful of her wishes, and they'd been too busy together to notice anything new with them. He figured it would work. It was a risk, sure, but it was worth it to him. He didn't want to fuck this up with her.

Knowing her, she probably wouldn’t even treat it differently than any of their other hang outs. It's not like they haven't been romantic or sexual with each other. They've done everything but go out on an actual date, so why was he nervous?

kiara-c ummmm

popeheyward Yeah, I'm gonna need you to ELABORATE!!

kiara-c did hell freeze over? since when does jj maybank go out on dates??

danknugstickiestickies renamed the group hell froze over

kiara-c very funny, I'm laughing so hard 😐

popeheyward Do we know her?

danknugstickiestickies don't think u do. she moved here last week and hasn't enrolled in school yet. her name's steph

popeheyward What about Y/N though?

kiara-c ^^

JJ's chest muscles tightened with the question prompting a rush of anxiety that made his breathing feel slightly harder. He glanced up at his Physics teacher, who was essentially dozing off behind his desk with his hand in a bag of chips and an educational video on the projector as an excuse to not teach, and looked back down at his phone without the added stress of possibly getting his phone confiscated.

Pope's message might as well have been a sucker punch. Forget butterflies, he set a wasp’s nest loose inside of his stomach to tie it into knots and flip it every which way. His neglected textbook served as a prop for his phone to lean on as he set it down to think.

Did they know? As far as he was aware, they were getting away with it. No evidence, concrete or circumstantial, was there to prove it. At least the stress of the situation killed any chance of him being turned on by her reminder of last night in their messages. This shit was boner repellant of the highest degree.

He played stupid. Better to let them volunteer whatever information they had before he went in saying anything incriminating that they didn't already know. If anything would sour the experience of their first date, it would be him accidentally making their strange in-between relationship public behind her back.

danknugstickiestickies ?? what do u mean

Three dots bounced in the bottom left corner of his slightly cracked phone screen.

popeheyward ...

kiara-c I mean, you don't see it?

danknugstickiestickies see what

popeheyward I guess we were wrong, but all of us always thought you two had some feelings going on.

"You don't say?" JJ murmured sarcastically to himself under his breath. "Never crossed my mind, Pope."

danknugstickiestickies bro that's jb's little sister

kiara-c so?

danknugstickiestickies forbidden fruit? making john b roll over in his grave? do those ring a bell or am i speaking in tongues

He was already a proficient liar in real life, but, fuck, it was easy in text messages. There's no chance at deciphering facial expression or tone, just a plain message with no room to budge. Thank God he didn't do this in person with them. He could've survived, but it wouldn't have been as quick and painless as the group chat was.

kiara-c jeez, sorry

Pope didn't voice it, but he noticed something.

He looked up from his phone and stared off at the wall in thought in his AP European History class. It piqued his interest that JJ simply said she was off limits, forbidden fruit as he put it, but did not outright deny having feelings for her. In fact, he didn't even address the question. He made excuses for why he shouldn't have feelings for her, but he never said he didn't have feelings for her.

Kie did not notice. Not because she wasn't smart enough to either, but because she was too busy hiding her phone behind her backpack to think too deeply about it. Her teacher was one of those teachers that would flip shit if they saw a cell phone turned off and faced down on the desk, let alone being used by a student during a lesson.

In his classroom across the hallway, JJ bounced his leg up and down beneath his desk in an absentminded urge to release the built up energy the anxiety produced in an over abundance.

popeheyward Our bad then. Even John B thought y'all were sus lmao.

Since when was that a known fact? Could he tell? Did he talk to Pope about him and Y/N before he died? Either way, it wasn't the time to pry about it.

kiara-c yeah you guys honestly could've fooled me if you wanted to

danknugstickiestickies well thank u, glad ur invested in our friendship but

danknugstickiestickies please help, i have no fucking clue how to act on a date and this girl is too cool for me to screw this up

That was when they finally dropped the interrogation session and started offering up tips. The best ones came from Kie, which made sense to him since women are more likely to know what other women like than two dudes who share one collective brain cell and never had real relationships.

Rule One: Be ready to pick her up five minutes early.

He wasn't ready to pick her up five minutes early. His bike broke down by the time he made it halfway down his street, so he had to push it back up the road and into the yard before setting off on foot to reach the Chateau quickly enough. And by quickly enough, it means he got there five minutes late, not early.

Rule Two: Compliment her after you get in the car.

She tossed him the keys to the Twinkie from across the hood, not giving him the chance to open the door for her, and it wasn't until they were setting off down the road that he remembered the next piece of advice he was given.

Side-eyeing her in his peripheral vision, he tried to find something to compliment her on specifically rather than the general compliments about her being pretty that she never fully believes when he says them. He was intending to say something about the skirt she had on, but when he chanced a glance over at her, she caught him and asked—

"What is it?"

Sent into panic mode, JJ blurted out instead, "I like your shoes."

He could've bashed his face against the steering wheel twenty times right then and there at the utter absence of reaction on her part for the next few uncomfortable seconds. It wasn't that it was a bad compliment. She appreciates any compliments at all...but her shoes were hidden from his view. Not to mention, they were the dirty, mustard yellow converse that the Pogues bash on a daily basis.

She laughed, lifting her leg to expose the sneaker on her right foot, and asked, "These? Dude, you roast me for these all the time. You and John B said they look like Big Bird shit on them."

The skin on the apples of his cheeks scorched hot with embarrassment, and he was never so glad that the overhead lights in the van were burnt out until that moment. He would've died on the spot if she saw him blush like that, face flushed pinker than sunburn. All he could do to save himself was murmur something about the color growing on him and keep driving in the direction of the theater with his hands white-knuckling the steering wheel he fantasized about banging his face into.

Rule Three: Insist on picking up the check.

In this case, it meant insist on buying the popcorn and drinks, and he miraculously managed to drop his wallet somewhere along the way when he ran over to the Chateau, so when he stepped up to the makeshift concession stand with her standing at his side, he felt around for his wallet in his jeans to no avail.

His thoughts echoed back to him, You gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously? Is this actually happening right now?

"JJ, it's honestly fine," she said softly as he leaned over to search back of the Twinkie for the wallet. "We can look for it on your street right now if you want. It has your ID and stuff, you don't want a stranger to have that. We don't need to stay—"

It took all of his control to not shout it in reaction when he said, "No way. You've been waiting for this, and Kie ditched you, so I ain't ditching you too. We're staying."

His wallet could go kick rocks.

He came too far to be dragged down by the old leathery piece of shit anyway. Would he go out and search for it tirelessly the second the date ended? Hell yeah, that fucker had twenty dollars and his debit card in it, but he couldn't bear the thought of abandoning her or ruining her anticipated movie night by taking her out to search the streets with their phone flashlights for a wallet they might not find. He'd wait till the movies ended, take her home, then haul ass around the Cut searching for it after.

Thankfully, he found a couple bucks crumbled up in his front pocket while she scavenged for coins in the glove compartment, and they came up with enough to buy a water bottle and small popcorn to share together.

Rule Four: Don't have sex on the first date.

And it may sound easy enough to not act like a complete Neanderthal for the length of two movies, but the girl makes it pretty damn difficult if he's to say so himself.

That's what led him here, laying in the back of the sideways-parked Twinkie in the farthest corner of the outdoor theater with her practically on top of him. In any other instance, he wouldn't be opposed in the slightest, but with the cursed fourth rule in mind, he isn't too thrilled with the feeling of her hand rubbing up and down his thigh.

It isn't even meant to be sexual. They're constantly touching one another this way. She'll even slip her hands up under his shirt just to feel the warmth of his skin or when he asks her if she can get an itch on a part of his back he can't reach, but for some reason his brain is short circuiting right now.

The thing is, when Kie and Pope said he shouldn't do it on the first date, they meant it for his and Steph's made up circumstances, not his and Y/N's full-blown relationship without labels. When you've had sex with someone as many times as they have with each other, the hesitancy on the "first date" is nonexistent. It doesn't matter. But JJ, trying to follow the advice given to him to the letter for the sake of being the date she deserves, doesn't think about it that way.

It shouldn't be this nerve-wracking. They've been best friends since they were children, they've been flirting since they found out what basic attraction was in the first place, and they've been forming this relationship ever since John B died. Why can't he relax? Why is this so different compared to how easy it felt between them yesterday on the beach or today at lunch?

Rule Five: Be yourself.

It takes him another few moments of laying here with her before he realizes quite abruptly what went wrong in a quick flash of a thought that brings the fifth rule back to him. The problem wasn't the bike, or the weird compliment about her Big Bird sneakers, or the lost wallet.

The problem is him. The problem is that he's trying way too hard to make this something it isn't. The part about them that he adores so dearly is how they never have to try when they're together. With any other girl or guy, they'd have to fake something or act a certain way, yet when they're together, they can simply exist and everything is runs smoothly. That's not to say they don't disagree or bump heads, they do, but short of those outlier moments, it's easier than anything else they do in life.

His eyes flicker away from the screen for the first time since the movie began, which, by the way, is gruesome enough at times that he had to divert his eyes to prevent himself from seeing it happen. They land on where she lays, completely content with the night in spite of its mishaps, with her head propped up on the pillows they brought from the Chateau.

He wonders if she can tell he's acting differently. Surely she must notice. She's the type of person that typically never misses a thing, perfect for the gold hunt they went on in the summer with picking up the clues and helping her brother unravel the mystery, so maybe she noticed how flustered this date has him. Does it bother her? Does he bother her?

With a confirming glance back up at the movie to see nothing important happening, he can't fight the urge to speak anymore.

"Can I tell you something?"

His voice appearing through the darkness of the shut off van after spending the past half hour in complete silence makes her jolt at first before realizing who it was. Though she loves horror movies, she can't claim to not be affected by them. The night she falls asleep after watching one, she often finds herself compelled to turn a light on and keep her feet from dangling off the edge of the bed. It's worth the fear, though.

When she turns to look at JJ, there's a warm smile on her face. She's cuddled into his side with a hand placed casually atop his thigh, caressing with no purpose or intent, and her movement halts when the light from the movie on the projector allows her to see the expression on his face.

Anxiety has become an increasingly significant presence in his life with the recent events in mind; John B and Sarah, the four-hundred million dollars they lost out on, and dodging his father whenever he sneaks home to switch out the backpack of clothes and personal belongings he keeps at the Routledge house.

It manifests itself in jittery nerves, stomach pains, shortness of breath, and, at worst, panic attacks striking either at random or in response to a specific trigger. It's one of the few things he still tries to hide from her, and she tries not to push him too hard with opening up about it.

She abandons the movie for the time being and rolls onto her side to face him, upper body propped up on her elbow as she examines his face with downturned features.

"Of course," she says.

The words left unsaid are, "You can tell me anything. Whenever you need someone to listen, or to talk to about shit, you can tell me." He's heard her say it enough that he doesn't need to hear it now to know it's true.

There's a pause, then—

"I feel like I fucked this entire date up," he starts to ramble and cuts her off before she can think about saying what she wants to, "and I know it's okay to you. You have way too high of a tolerance for my bullshit, and I've been trying so hard to make this perfect, but all that did was screw it up."

She's left quiet for a second, taking it all in.

Maybe if he hadn't been so anxious about it, he would've realized what was wrong with his bike when he rode it home from school, or he would've noticed his wallet fall out of his pocket. The point is, he wishes he hadn't let the label attached to this freak him out so much. He isn't sure why it does, but it does.

But she doesn't do what he expects. She isn't drowning him in reassurances and, "It's okay's" because she knows he doesn't care for them much. When he, the most stubborn person she knows, apologizes for something he did, he doesn't want it to turn into the person accepting the apology coddling him.

Y/N sighs.

"Is that why you've been acting so different all night? I scared you with the whole ‘date’ thing, didn't I? It doesn't have to be a date if you don't want it to be."

What she doesn't know is that he wants it to be a date. He wants it to be a date so badly, he risked Pope and Kie finding them out for the sake of getting some proper advice on it, and now he's caught up in the same game of tug and war in his mind that always occurs when he wants to tell her the truth about his feelings for her.

Part of him doesn't understand why he doesn't outright say it. With every other girl he once showed interest in, he had no issues in letting them know he wanted them, but this is different. This isn't simply wanting someone, he thinks he's fallen for her. But whenever he says he's gonna grow a pair and tell her after all this time, he chokes. Involuntarily, he's reminded of his parents. Other than his friends saying it platonically, the only people to tell him they loved him were them, and with how they treated him, he sure as hell doesn't think that is love.

From his dad's brutal physical abuse to his mom's abandonment, he's too timid to tell her he loves her because of what could happen if she loves him back. Everyone else that has said that to him has either hurt him, died like John B did, or abandoned him.

He won't let that happen with him and Y/N. What they have, albeit undefined and codependent, is safe. It's the only thing he has left. Maybe it isn't right, and maybe he should open up about it to communicate the correct way, but somewhere in the misshapen logic of his mind, he correlates love to abandonment. And he doesn't want that to happen with her.

There are two sides of him at battle inside his mind. One side, the side that wants to do right by their relationship and actually communicate his feelings for once in his life, wants him to tell her everything. The other side, the side that responds based on the history of his past, wants him to hide it all.

"Will you be mad at me if we don't call it a date?" he asks.

She shakes her head.

The heavy sensation inside of JJ's chest nears a point of vitriolic violence against him as he starts to realize what he's doing to her, clearly letting her down, but he can't stop himself. Like a passive witness watching himself from outside of his body, the instantaneous trauma response to the sudden confrontation of his true feelings for her guides his actions without his permission. It shuts down any protest he has.

The sound of the movie fills the gap of silence between them the entire time. It’s a variety of bloodcurdling screams and disgusting sounds that would've made him gag if he weren't as distracted.

They can make out each other's faces through the darkness, but barely. It takes a flash of bright color from the film or a nearby car's lights turning on for them to fully see one another. Without the other knowing, they both put masks of calm and collected coolness on their faces despite the feelings raging beneath the surface—more so on his part than hers.

"Maybe," he says, pausing, "we should just keep things the way they've been."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, a soul-crushing amount of disappointment weighs her down. She said it was fine if he doesn't want it to be a date—and it is, she would never hold it against him—but that doesn't mean it can't hurt her. Things have been going so well, she almost thought...If tonight went well, she was thinking about no longer keeping it a secret, but if he said he wants things to stay the same, then maybe he isn't as ready for it as she is?

Meanwhile, JJ is on another page entirely.

She's embarrassed of being with you, a familiar voice in the back of his head croons. She's gonna leave just like everyone else does. If she doesn't even wanna tell your friends, why should you pretend you're dating?

The internal comments are the type that cause him to physically grimace when he's alone. Intrusive thoughts are just that: intrusive.

Sneaking into the guarded sanctuary of a person's mind, they set out to convince them the opposite of their reality. The only thing is, where most people's minds are guarded sanctuaries with walls of impregnable defense, his mind is the equivalent of a fortress blown to smithereens. The castle walls lay in rubble, the guards no where to be seen, and the path for these thoughts to slip past and straight to the vulnerability of his mind is left wide open.

In the privacy of his room, these thoughts attack him the most at night when he tries to fall asleep—when things get too quiet. With nobody around, when they get this bad there's nothing he can do except break down. It builds from the mere anxiety of attempting to force the thoughts away to full-blown panic attack mode. The more he resists them, the more aggressive they become. He'll gasp for air with tears streaming down his face, hitting his head with the heel of his hand as if that'd do something to stop his relentless mind.

But he can't afford to react in front of her, so the extent of his reaction is a subtle twitch of his face that she cannot see in the momentary darkness before the movie switches to another scene a second later. In a way, it does make the thoughts go away to have her here preventing him from spiraling alone. Having to focus on her keeps his mind away for moments at a time until the thoughts ease their grip on him.

When she hasn't answered for a while, he asks, terrified that he did something bad, "Are we good?"

The question seems to wake her up, snapping her out of the lonely direction her thoughts went into when he "rejected" her. It takes every bit of common sense she has left to force herself to understand that this doesn't mean he doesn't want her. He does, and not calling this a date doesn't mean they won't be together in the way they have been since John B's death, but she isn't perfect. She gets as unsure and insecure as he does.

As if the cloud of doom was lifted off of her, she makes her face lighten where she lays on her side next to him. Seeing this expression makes his chest feel less heavy, and he could let out a sigh of relief at the realization that he didn't break her heart and stomp on it. He should've known. Y/N is the sweetest person he knows, so she never would've flipped shit over him not wanting to label this as a date. That's not how she is.

And he's partly right. It isn't how she is. She would never hold it against him if he didn't want something further with her since she got herself into this position by pursuing him with his reputation with girls in mind, but she can't ignore it. Whether she wants it to or not, it had its affect on her as soon as he said it.

She leans in to kiss him, their lips meeting in the middle with the faint taste of popcorn salt mingling at the soft peck.

When she pulls away, she brushes the hair back from his face and says, "Don't worry. Nothing can change how I feel about you."

She has no clue what it feels like to hear that from her.

Despite the turmoil they unknowingly share beneath the surface due to this conversation, he could cry hearing her say it. It doesn't feel real to him that she feels the same way he does about her, because nothing could change how he feels about her either. That’s why he manages to work up the courage to repeat it back to her, and, for now, this is the closest he's physically capable of coming to telling her the truth.

"Ditto," he says.

It isn't what she wanted, but it's close enough, and if she dwells on this any longer, she might start getting too emotional and let the urge to tear up become too strong. Why does she have to be this sensitive? It's no secret that it's remarkably easy to make her cry, but this is insane to her. When all of this began with him, she didn't give a shit about him not wanting a label. She understood him, and she understood that he doesn't do this kind of thing, so why has it changed? Why doesn't she want to keep it a secret anymore? Why does she want this to be a date when she knows he doesn't want it to be?

Pulled by an invisible string back to him to silence her mind, she leans in to kiss him again with a hand cupping the back of his neck to guide him the rest of the way to her.

It shouldn't be laced with any sexual intention. She should be kissing him simply because she wants to, and, in a way, she is. Their kisses and touches are never lacking the motivation that is their underlying connection and mutual feelings for one another, but this is not the same. As he kisses her back with as much confidence and passion as always, she is reeling from the conversation that reminded her too much of a breakup.

It takes another minute of this for the kiss to heat up, their breathing becoming shallower in the moments they part to inhale, and she is undeniably the one instigating when she officially crosses the line between casual and sexual by crawling onto his lap. It's not hard for him to pick up on when their innocent moments take a turn. She's easy to read in that regard, and this has happened a multitude of times with them, so the shift of a mini make out session turning into something more is nothing out of the ordinary for them.

If he knew how shaken she is on the inside, he'd never want this. And the same would go for her if she knew what he was thinking before this. Neither of them wants to admit what they're feeling.

With her legs seated on either side of his hips, she kisses him like it's the last time she'll ever get the opportunity to. Her hands wander wherever they can, pulling at his shirt and feeling him up as his hands guide her hips to move against his in a steady grinding that she has no issue partaking in. It's an eagerness he hasn't seen from her in weeks. She's never un-excited when it comes to being physical with him either, but this is another level. The last time a girl was all over him like this, it was desperate touron at a party a few months ago.

In the span of time it takes her to glance over her shoulder to see if anyone could see them and reach to pull her skirt up until it bunches around her hips—no one can see them, by the way, since they got here late and were forced to cram the van into the back corner of the lot with no street lights illuminating the path—his brows raise at her presumptuous behavior. Not that he's one to complain, however, seeing as he's typically the one doing what she is.

Their next kiss clashes their teeth hard enough to make them wince, but he loves it. It makes him smirk into her parted mouth, alive with both the feeling her reassurance provided and the fuzzy-headed high that often finds him when they're together in this way. Incomparable to past flings or the high related to any drugs, she is the peak of everything to him. It's no contest.

His chest stutters against hers with a bout of amused laughter, asking within a brief pause in what feels like the most JJ thing he's said this awkward night, "Two for two in the Twinkie. What's gotten into you?"

Y/N's hand dips between where their bodies move together to unclasp the closed buckle of his belt in one smooth motion that has it falling apart with a clinking noise.

Her features are set with a look that tells him she means business. Whatever it is that sparked this, he wonders how the fuck to make it happen again another time. She's begged for it before, but never taken control so dominantly, and he can't deny what the role reversal does to him. The evidence is obvious in the distinct hardness she feels pressing up against the hand undoing his jeans.

"I was hoping it'd be you," she says, voice breathless and airy from the constant contact in a way that makes it ten times hotter for him.

If there were any chance of him not being in the mood prior to this, which wasn't the case anyway, it's gone now. He never wants to hear her say she doesn't deliberately try to tease him ever again.

He doesn't need to be told twice.

JJ surges forward to capture her mouth with his, this time with no intention of pulling away to breathe or speak again. No, he'll let himself get lightheaded and dizzy if it means he can stay with her for as long as possible.

With the circumstances of it all, them being visible to someone if they happened to pass by the open door of the van, they move at a pace quicker than usual. She's immediately helping him shimmy his jeans and underwear far enough down his hips to free his dick from the confines of his clothes, making him sigh out a breath of relief when her hand brushes against him in the process.

There's no opportunity to slow down, it has exploded into a full-throttle speed race that neither of them can halt.

His hand blindly flies out beside him to grope the floor of the van for the set of keys he tossed carelessly to the side once the movie started, eyes shut in the midst of the hot, messy kiss they share. His fingers find the fabric of one of the blankets they brought in case they got cold, then drifts again and lands on her Big Bird sneakers until he feels the sharp metal of her keys meet his calloused palm.

After the events of last summer, she bought a switch blade to keep on her key ring alongside the keys to the van, HMS Pogue, and Chateau. She may not like violence or weapons, seeing as she was a skeptic of JJ keeping the gun alongside her friends, but she saw it necessary. Between Rafe, Topper, and Kelce, how could she leave the safety of her and her friends up to chance knowing what some of the kooks did to them not long ago? What happened to Pope on the golf course alone was enough to make her skin crawl.

Right now, though, the knife flips out from the pressure of his thumb pushing the button to release it. He holds it out away from her at first to assure it doesn't nick her in the process, then uses his other hand to tug the side of her panties that hugs her hip far out enough to press the sharp side of the blade onto the inside of it.

She can hardly believe what she's watching as JJ cuts the delicate maroon underthings from her body as if he were doing something so normal, like it's something he's done before. Her forehead is pressed against his, her mouth parted both in shock and in a need to pant for oxygen, and she watches the knife ruin her favorite panties. The stitches come apart with a satisfying ripping noise that can hardly be heard over the sound of people reacting to the movie in the background.

Other customers of the Cherry Bowl Drive-In are too glued to the screen as a beloved character is chased down, reacting in shouts when she's seized by the killer and shoved onto the table of an industrial bread slicer, so they remain wholly unnoticed.

The lace, now ripped in half, dangles on the tip of the knife when he lifts it away from her, tosses it aside, and presses the button once more to retract the blade. It clatters to the floor, but is in no way forgotten with them resuming in a desperation to keep going until they both satisfy the need clawing at them from the inside. But her sense of need is different from his, and even with the fresh memory of him with the switch blade in mind, she's still somewhere else the whole time.

Her mind is faraway, muted through layers of sadness, anger, and disappointment as he reaches between them to line himself up to her entrance. The sensation of him running his cock, hard and messy with a few drops of precome, through her dripping pussy to coat it in her slick arousal is enough to make her moan pathetically. Yet when he's about to guide himself inside of her, she stops him.

"Wait, wait, wait," she breathes out rapidly, heart pounding so hard she can feel herself pulsating between her thighs, "Condom."

They were so antsy to get to it, they almost forgot.

"Fuck," he curses under his breath, and his eyes flicker from where they were trained between their bodies to glance back and forth around the van before it hits him. "I lost my wallet..."

But right when he thinks their public rendezvous in the back of the Drive-In is over due to his unfortunate mistake, she shakes her head and slips away from her perch astride his lap to crawl over to her bag.

She fumbles with the old tote bag and plunges her arm in to sift through the hodge podge of things that are purely Y/N in nature—stickers, glitter pens, a half-eaten bag of candy, etc—for the square foil package she decided to toss in before she left just in case. She usually doesn't keep them on her because he never fails to have one, but, thankfully, she had the random instinct to bring it tonight.

The only thing to bring her out of her cloudy, malevolent storm of feelings when she settles back onto his lap with the condom wrapper ripped open for him is him saying, "So you planned this, huh?" with his mouth tipped in a familiar self-satisfied grin.

She didn't plan it. In fact, she threw herself at him the second she sensed him withdrawing from her and can't stop herself despite the fact that she constantly feels two seconds away from letting a tear slip down her cheek. If that counts as "planning it", then sure.

"Maybe so," she answers, cool, calm, and collected—the antithesis of the truth.

They usually don't lie to each other.

They're thrown right back into it without any other hiccups once he rolls the condom on, and he takes in a shaky breath at her hand wrapping around him to align their bodies up. Before she can do anything, though, he takes chance to swipe the blanket he found a moment ago and wrap it around her back to keep her covered in case they get caught.

Y/N sinks down onto his cock with her lip caught between her teeth to stifle the sound that threatens to escape. JJ, on the other hand, doesn't bother concealing the sound of the groan he makes at the sensation of having her wrapped around him like this. The tension in her entire body from the anticipation and the looming threat of being seen by someone has her squeezing him so tightly, he can't help but be a little louder than he should.

Her soft palm slaps over his mouth with enough pressure to force his groan to quiet itself, and she watches his pretty blue eyes widen in reaction to the dominant action. Who is this girl and what has she done with his sweet, submissive Y/N? Don't get him wrong, he is very turned on by it, but it's unlike her to take the lead this way. He can't figure it out.

"What's wrong, angel?" she asks in a whisper into his ear, her hand over his mouth and her hips starting to slowly rock against him, "Watch the movie."

Once the words leave her mouth, she drops her hand, just in case he wants to stop and can't say anything because she had his mouth covered, and JJ is pretty sure he's died and gone to heaven.

He doesn't watch the movie, not at all, because he's too busy watching her. For someone losing their mind internally, she does not let it show, nor does she let it distract her from what's happening. If anything, the distraction in this situation is the sex, not what's going on inside of her head.

There's a moment of adjustment and going as slowly and gently as possible while waiting for the dull pressure of feeling him inside of her to fade away, but, for the most part, she doesn't waste any time. As soon as she feels comfortable enough with the ache between her thighs giving way to a spark of pleasure when she grinds her clit down on his pubic bone, she starts to ride him at a better pace than the initial slow movements of her hips.

She raises herself up and takes him again inch by inch, enjoying the sense of fullness she gets from having to fit him in spite of the slight discomfort at first, and she could swear that he'll leave bruises in the shape of his handprints with how tightly he clutches her hips. It's all he can do to prevent himself from moaning or saying something, ever the vocal lover she's come to know.

Unless his mouth is preoccupied like it was on the beach yesterday afternoon, JJ is usually impossible to shut up, especially in this context. With him always whispering dirty things to her, whether it be praises, pet names, or plans on what he wants to do to her, she has come to find it breathtakingly hot. He could likely get away with saying something if he wanted to, but he isn't sure he wants to risk it. If he opens his mouth to spew something filthy to her, he won't trust himself not to make a louder, different kind of noise that won't fit in the with background audio the other moviegoers are listening to.

The wet sound of their bodies colliding that fills the space of the van is drowned out by the loud and violent sequence occurring on the screen far ahead of them, and hearing it makes her bounce herself on him a little harder. She's fueled on by it all, and, strangely, what happened before she practically pounced on him is the main contributor.

Similarly to the nature of his intrusive thoughts, the harder she resists the memory of how it felt when he told her he didn't want this to be a date, the more forceful it is in its return. Her eyes trail down to watch where they connect with her forehead pressed to his, then she's thrown back into the feeling of helpless disappointment and insecurity. His head tips back against the window with his bottom lip dropped open and his brows furrowed just enough to create a crease on his forehead, and she's bombarded with the look of relief on his face when he realized he didn't have to be tied down to her with a label.

It makes her want to get rougher, harder, and she doesn't even care if it'll make her sore later on. She presses herself down so far every time she slides down on his cock, her teeth draw blood on her lip with how hard she must bite it to remain quiet. The pain of her hipbones rubbing against his doesn't even matter to either of them at this point. They're both too lost in the pleasure that has begun to take control of them to care about something as minuscule as that, or the burn in her thighs from the repetitive physical strain.

She grabs his wrist and brings his hand between them, flattening hers overtop of it and pressing down on the base of her abdomen in the midst of the increasingly feverish thrusts.

"Feel you here," she murmurs to him through a quiet moan, hoping he can hear it over the movie, and pushes down on his hand for emphasis. And if the way he reacts by cursing under his breath tells her anything, it's that he picked up on it. "JJ..."

He reaches out to grab her by the throat with his free hand and tug her forward to kiss him, as if something inside of him snapped in response to her doing that. The motions of her jolting up and down throws the already messy and uncoordinated kiss off-kilter, but they don't mind. It has them separating every time she lifts up, producing this heady little head rush from from them breathing in each other's air without actually letting their mouths meet in the middle.

Though they're trying their hardest not to alert anyone outside of what's happening, it didn't occur to him until now, when his eyes catch John B's old bandana swinging back and forth where it's secured around the rear view mirror.

They're worried about moaning while the entire fucking Twinkie is rocking with their movements. Well, at least it makes good use of the corny sticker he gifted John B last year as a gag gift. He tried to peel it off after JJ snuck it onto the side window to no avail. So, now Y/N is stuck with a sticker on her car reading, "If the van's a-rockin', come on in, we like orgies," rather than the more common phrase.

It almost makes him start laughing, and he prays no one takes that shit seriously, 'cause he is never intent on sharing this breathtaking girl. Ever.

Y/N isn't anywhere near laughing like he is, in fact, she's finding it difficult to keep herself together. She feels her eyes sting with the promise of tears, and she's never felt so pathetic before. Is she seriously about to cry during sex? Is she really that girl that is so ill-equipped to handle rejection, she can't get through it without tears?

She won't cry. Perhaps if he sees how glossy her eyes have become in a rare moment of good lighting, she can blame it on the hand around her throat putting pressure on the sides of her neck.

The worst part about her being near to crying is the timing of it.

The emotion of what she feels mentally mixes with the swirling, building sensation she feels in the pit of her stomach that tells her she's close to going over the edge, and it's so overwhelming. Was she imagining that their friendship had changed? More importantly, is this all she'll ever be to him? Sex is the only thing she's sure of with him, it's the only thing that doesn't require deeper emotions, and when the ground beneath their fragile relationship felt shaky...

He can feel her starting to unravel, and he knows that he'll come before she does if he doesn't do anything now, so he decides to take control.

JJ pulls the hand he had resting on her abdomen away as though he were burned by it, wrapping his arm around her waist to steady her body against his and using the hand around her neck for leverage to thrust up into her, effectively reducing her to a teary-eyed, moaning mess atop him. They both stopped caring about making noise the second he began to fuck her like this.

She cries out in ecstasy at the sudden change in pace and depth that has him hitting all the right places. Every time he thrusts up into her, just as rough as she wished for, the tip of his cock nudges into that perfect spot inside of her that makes her incapable of silencing her moans. This time, it's JJ that puts his hand over her mouth, letting the one he had around her neck move away to keep her from alerting everyone around them of what's happening.

There's nothing she can do to stop her climax as it barrels through her in its initial sweeping wave of bliss to contrast the venomous doubts in her mind. She's never felt such conflicting, yet powerful feelings before—the intensity of the physical pleasure that makes her whine into the palm of his hand, then the part of her mind replaying every word he said in their conversation before this.

Her body is rigid and tense through it all, squeezing down around his cock with the involuntary spasms of her orgasm, and he can't help himself anymore. All it takes are a few more frantic thrusts for him to bury himself inside of her one last time and spill into the condom, uncovering her mouth so he can drown out his own groans into a kiss.

Their skin sticks to their clothes on the inside with sweat from the exertion of their actions, and he can feel her stomach tremble where it presses up against his with each undulation of her hips that meet his as he rides it out.

But even with the added distraction of the sex, she can't rid herself of the feeling that started plaguing her as soon as things went awry. That was why he was acting weird all night. He must have been so worried about her thinking this was anything more than their typical hangouts that he couldn't bring himself to act normally.

She forces herself to look happy when they pull away from the kiss, panting, and JJ, unaware of what she's been thinking, doesn't notice the small deception.

Tag list: @gabiatthedisco

#jj maybank #jj maybank smut #jj maybank x reader #outer banks #obx #fanfiction #obx s2 #uh oh trouble in paradise #anyway that smut #kinda wanna get railed by JJ in the back of the van #don’t we all?

353 notes · View notes

vocallywritten · 4 years

Text

Public Service Announcement: Anne with an E HAS NOT Been Cancelled. There is still hope

Basically what's happened here is that Anne with an E has not been renewed yet, but it definitely hasn't been canceled. The fate of the show is, as yet, still undecided.

What everyone seems to be freaking out about is Netflix jumping the gun and calling season three the "Final Season" because it is. For them. Netflix will no longer be funding the show, which is a shame, mostly because I'm given to understand that they provide a lot of the budget that allows for the incredible production quality in AwaE. So technically, Netflix isn't wrong to call season three the final season, since after season three, it will no longer be a Netflix Original.

But CBC is the ultimate deciding factor on whether or not this show gets renewed. Obviously we might be in a bit of an unusual situation. We never know why or how some shows get renewed or canceled, and with Netflix no longer in the mix, the network might be reluctant to renew it for budget reasons, and even if they do, they might not be able to allot the same amount of money for the show. Which might mean a drop in quality the showrunners will have no control over.

Everything is up in the air at the moment, but, like I said, there is still hope, and since there is evidence to suggest CBC likes this show, I'm pretty hopeful we'll see at least a season four.

So everyone stay calm and make your voices heard. Don't give up yet!!

#anne with an e #renew anne with an e

58 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Hathor & Sekhmet

Hathor: About to slap myself so you'll feel it Hathor: wherever you are ain't where you should be Sekhmet: what im sleep Sekhmet: 😴😴😴 Hathor: wake up 👊🏽 Hathor: you asked me to meet you, remember? Sekhmet: I think that's tomorrow Sekhmet: I said Wednesday, right Hathor: That's today Hathor: you blackout past Tuesday? Sekhmet: You're joking Sekhmet: well then, that means I've got a deadline I gotta meet and not a whole lot of time for brunch dates Hathor: you're joking Hathor: I cancelled on a fine boy for you Sekhmet: it's so early you got time to hit it back Sekhmet: I know I didn't tell you I'd meet you at the crack of dawn Hathor: you didn't and you're late af still Sekhmet: chill sis, I'll make it up to you Hathor: yeah Hathor: anyone else'd be offended you don't ever want to have a sober conversation Hathor: but I'll see you in the club Sekhmet: girl, chill 😂 Sekhmet: how fine was he that you're all kinds of vexed with me Sekhmet: don't even care how I'm gonna make it up to you, oh my days 🥴🍆🧠 for real Hathor: he's got prospects, I'm not saying any more than that if you're not coming out 👅 Hathor: I'll care how you're gonna make it up when you next show up for real Sekhmet: ugh! living up to your name 🐮 Sekhmet: bitch I'm busy 😏 the juggle is real Hathor: you know I don't say that shit lightly except once in a blue moon, however fine a lad be looking Hathor: but if you don't wanna hear it Sekhmet: is he 🧑🏾🧑🏿 Hathor: 🥛 Hathor: nobody is more surprised than me Sekhmet: 👏🙌 yay Sekhmet: I told you, white boys are the best Sekhmet: they treat us like 👸 Hathor: It's his Irish accent tricking me Hathor: I gotta take a trip back and cure myself Sekhmet: awh, you're homesick, precious Sekhmet: now it makes sense why you wanna tie me down Hathor: can barely understand him he's from so far north, more likely that Sekhmet: throwback 📟 📠 📺 📻 Hathor: get the psych dept to pull their shrink shit on me about it Sekhmet: You wanna be just like Vee, sorted Sekhmet: take my PhD now 💁 Hathor: be more disrespectful! first you stand me up and then put that out there Sekhmet: 🤭 you've got a ways to go, even if you're rolling mad extra today Hathor: I didn't ask 👼🏽💘 to 🎯 me up in the 🍑 Hathor: got my own things I'm busy with Sekhmet: love is magic 💖 Sekhmet: don't be complaining in my inbox when I'm tragically single Hathor: I've been serving and swerving him for long enough I thought I'd succeeded, there's the complaint Sekhmet: 🙄 you can't ❌ feelings bitch Hathor: white boys are a different animal, I ❌ the fear of Sekhmet: 😍😍😍 Hathor: I'm not here to be treated like a 👸🏽 if that's one step away from being called 'exotic' Hathor: there's nothing sexy about a power imbalance Sekhmet: most girls would disagree, babe Sekhmet: why do you wanna be run of the mill every day when we been #blessed with this 🔥 Sekhmet: all black guys wanna chat about is my light-skin privilege and their black man struggles, I can't 🥱 Hathor: fetishization like that ain't foreplay I'm interested in Hathor: 👑 me for other reasons than my melanin Sekhmet: insecurities SNAPPED, I'm sure he likes you for more than your skin, you crazy Hathor: he likes me for how I pour measures rn Sekhmet: racial Sekhmet: that's why everyone likes you 💃💃💃 Hathor: on account of being a poor student not Northern Irish, don't be biting the hand that feeds your blackouts Sekhmet: my white boys always pay Hathor: #blessed innit Sekhmet: 👸😇 tings Hathor: which white boy you with ignoring your deadline then? Sekhmet: whoever it is they've gone to work Sekhmet: but they left a 💳 with their cute note so I know I'm in a good postcode still 🙏 Hathor: so come meet me and spare mine, that's the right thing to do Sekhmet: just 'cos it's good doesn't mean I'm not lost still, damn Sekhmet: hold on and let me get dressed and get my bearings Hathor: if your phone ain't drained I can use it to get your bearings while you serve a look Sekhmet: who doesn't have a charger in their hoe 👜 PLEASE Hathor: you didn't know what day it was, can't blame me for 👶🏽ing Sekhmet: where would I be without you 😘 Sekhmet: mum hasn't phoned me in ages actually, it's so rude Sekhmet: I missed the last few but still Hathor: I hit her with your highlights, creatively Hathor: like how I won't mention a white boy making me feel like a baby 🐮 that can't walk Sekhmet: 😶😶 Sekhmet: dad would 😥 Hathor: and she'll 🙌🏽 harder than you've done Sekhmet: facts are facts Sekhmet: look at her dad, Vee's... Hathor: cliches are tired and stereotypes are damaging Sekhmet: @ your white boy with the 👋 then booboo Sekhmet: I think dad's in town working today, you wanna come for dinner with us? 🥂 Hathor: he's not mine to command in or out 👅 Hathor: yeah 🍾 will help Sekhmet: I'll teach you Hathor: those twin stereotypes are damaging too, like Sekhmet: oh hush, I only tried to 💋 you ONE time and we were like babies and that boy was the first great love of my life Sekhmet: anyway, you're like hot but not my types type these days, you know Hathor: that boy was trash Hathor: you levelled up fast though Sekhmet: awh, don't be rude, I have fond memories Hathor: I have loads of him trying to ask me out at the same time Sekhmet: oh yeah Sekhmet: I forgot that happened Sekhmet: his hair was gorgeous though Hathor: it was Sekhmet: good times Sekhmet: my new guy, not this one, the actual one, looks like old school Leo, I SWEAR Hathor: Yeah? Sekhmet: like Leo and a bit of River and Ryan Philippe in Cruel Intentions Sekhmet: 🥰🥰🥰 Hathor: love of your life material Sekhmet: definitely Sekhmet: he's a trader in the city and his apartment is 😱😱😱 Hathor: what's the age range this time? Sekhmet: he's only 26, it's mad how successful he is already Hathor: he sounds like the full 🎟 Hathor: any catch? Sekhmet: only technically Hathor: technically he's a 🤖? Sekhmet: ha, he totally has the stamina of one Sekhmet: he can keep up with me, almost 😉 Hathor: 👌🏽 he's perfect Hathor: fucking hell Sekhmet: no need to be jealous when you're 🥰 yourself Sekhmet: what does he look like? Hathor: Tall enough Hathor: more like a 🥊 than a 👼🏻 Sekhmet: you really do wanna do great grandpa Sekhmet: jk, he sounds so you Hathor: he does work for the main brewery that supplies us, maybe I do Hathor: Jesus Christ Sekhmet: 😂😬 processing that Sekhmet: not really though, every boy I've ever dated has been like dad, it's unavoidable tbh 💁 Hathor: in our postcode nobody's trying very hard to be anything else Hathor: 💰💳💎🍾 Sekhmet: why would they? Hathor: they wouldn't and they aren't, it'd be terrifying for any of those boys to step out Sekhmet: 🙄 you aren't going to throw yourself down a ladder when you're at the top, babe Hathor: wouldn't kill them to give other people a hand up though, they just act like it Sekhmet: 🥱 when's your deadline? Hathor: my work's done Sekhmet: then button it, loser Sekhmet: you wanna eat out on this nice rich boy's 💳 Hathor: ETA of 15 on getting to you Hathor: you best 🚿 Sekhmet: way ahead of you 🛀 Sekhmet: door's unlocked, our breakfast will hopefully be on the table when you get here Sekhmet: love ubereats Hathor: 🙌🏽 Sekhmet: you can bring it through, the view in this bathroom is immense Sekhmet: thought getting the driver to bring it to the tub was unlikely Hathor: he probably would but it's unlikely I'd recover from walking in on it Sekhmet: 😘 Sekhmet: do fuck with an asian boy Hathor: you don't know he will be Hathor: might not even be a lad Hathor: but if it is, guarantee they'll send the most unexpected one Sekhmet: it usually is, your stereotypes be damned Hathor: what are you gonna bet? Sekhmet: the Belgian 🧇s Hathor: you're on Sekhmet: sometimes you shock me with how green you are, Hath Hathor: back to putting disrespect on me, what a nice truce while it lasted, like Sekhmet: I mean, you know I can see the driver on my app, babe Sekhmet: no points for guessing where Hassan is from Sekhmet: you can have the 🧇s anyway Hathor: you know I can read your thoughts, the playing field is level Hathor: and anyway I like green, that's my boy's eye colour Sekhmet: been gazing into them longingly across the bar have we🤭 Hathor: maybe Sekhmet: so cute Sekhmet: hope this one doesn't have a fiancee Sekhmet: or a maid who thinks we've broken in Hathor: if he does he better break that eye contact with me Sekhmet: I meant Mr Black Card, don't worry Sekhmet: he's a student, yeah? he won't be Hathor: he's only got a year on us, I don't predict an engagement Sekhmet: yeah, doubt it Hathor: outside of our family people aren't usually that extra Sekhmet: some of the asian internationals are but they usually cheat if their intended ain't here yet so Hathor: Yeah Sekhmet: what even does an engagement mean anyway Sekhmet: not much, right Hathor: a flash 💍 Hathor: what's my course teaching me if I don't know the statistics on how often a wedding follows? Hathor: shows how outdated it is Sekhmet: he gives me that anyway Hathor: I'd take a phone number and be happy with it for now Hathor: but it's probably the party and that whole flex too, right? Sekhmet: the dress Sekhmet: but it's irrelevant if it doesn't happen, like you said Hathor: 🎁🎁 even if it doesn't if people bring them for the engagement as well, but you're not going short of any Sekhmet: right Sekhmet: 😥 if you need a wedding for attention Hathor: Jay's birth mum QUAKING Sekhmet: omg I bet that's EXACTLY what his fiancee is like Hathor: does he ever speak about her? Sekhmet: obviously not Sekhmet: but she must never come up from wherever they're from because I'm like ALWAYS over so Hathor: maybe she doesn't know about this place Hathor: old school Sekhmet: Who knows Sekhmet: can't be my problem Hathor: Yours is the day you've missed, like Hathor: what's the assignment? Sekhmet: design some sportswear line Sekhmet: got to get the sketches in by 5, but all I ordered for me was a shit ton of coffee, it'll be fine Hathor: more productive if I stay or go? Sekhmet: you've already missed your date, you may as well stay Hathor: okay Hathor: am the sportier one Sekhmet: how are you 😂 Hathor: ⚽⛹🏽🚴🏽🥊 Hathor: why dad loves me more than you Sekhmet: now I know you're talking nonsense 😏 Hathor: True, he loves Vee and she never gets off her chaise Sekhmet: and she doesn't even love him back Hathor: poor dad Sekhmet: yeah Hathor: what time's dinner with him? Sekhmet: I'll ask him when he wants to go Hathor: about to come up, so whatever you were planning for Hassan, this is me Sekhmet: regrettably noted

1 note · View note

applethebeloved · 2 years

Note

He's starting to realize he's too optimistic when making plans. While there's technically no one stopping him from taking a personal day to spend time with his lover, there's simply so much work to do, and every hour he's away is time for that to build up. It already feels like there aren't enough hours in the day sometimes. He made a promise, though, and he'd feel terrible if he had to cancel on Apple- he already feels like he leaves them alone too much, they deserve more of his time as it is, he couldn't blame them for being upset with him if he had to back out on his promise. At the same time, he really can't afford to lose the time he'd offered him, unless...

That would have to work. He could get up early, sneak out before Apple was awake, get enough done in the morning to still be able to make good on their plans. A little more lost sleep can't hurt, and he can always blame it on another bout of insomnia- those have been happening with ever-increasing frequency, Apple would have no reason to doubt him. That way he could uphold his duties, and keep from disappointing his partner. Perfect.

The sun hasn't yet risen when he slips out of bed, the sky just starting to lighten to the grey of impending dawn. His plan seems much less perfect now, with the chill of early-morning air on his skin making crawling back into bed and to the warmth of his partner seem so appealing, but he can't spare the time. He reminds himself this is for Apple, this will keep him happy- and it'll be nice to have time together, it's best for the both of them. He makes do with pressing a quick kiss goodbye to his sleeping partner's forehead before forcing himself away to get dressed. He writes a note telling Apple where he's gone, letting him know he'll be home for their planned lunch date and signing it with a heart, leaving it where he's sure to find it. Much-needed coffee in hand, he leaves to close himself in his office to try and get through as much as possible before when he promised Apple he'd be home.

Apple woke up like it was a normal day, though he was quick to notice the absence of his partner. Which wasn’t too surprising, he could have easily gotten up before him or the insomnia could have made him be up for hours. So he just got out of bed and began to get ready, looking forward to their lunch date. No one ever said that dating the revolutionary leader of a nation was easy, so he was always glad to have any time with him. The promise of a date just seemed extra nice.

However, he found a note on his bedside table. Wilbur was in his office, still telling him that he’ll be home in time for their date with a heart. The sun still looked relatively fresh in the sky, he couldn’t imagine when he left. Apple finished getting dressed and prepared for the day and after a small breakfast, decided to make his way to his partner’s office, along with a snack in case he hadn’t gotten the chance to eat yet. Even if the note said he’ll be back in time, he wanted to see him and check on him if Wilbur truly did leave as early as he thought.

When he arrived, he knocked on the door lightly before coming in with a smile. It was always nice to see the incredible man that he was lucky to have as a partner, and he held up the snack as if that would explain what he’s doing here.

”Morning, Wilbur, I brought you some food. When did you wake up?”

#- it’s wilbur!

0 notes

jitterbugjive · 6 years

Note

Alright so my friend has a family member, R, that's definitely needs help. If I remember right, he's bipolar, but he absolutely refuses all treatment. Flushing his meds, cancelling doctors appointments, won't even consider a mental hospital, except he's gotten to the point where he frequently gets (at least) auditory hallucinations or delusions. (Said something about a prophecy the other day) They can't really call the cops on him, since he hasn't technically been planning anything dangerous but

It's throwing my friend's anxiety through a loop and getting everyone's stress up. I don't know what would need to happen to force him to get treatment, or better yet how we could convince him to actually accept treatment.

That’s actually a common symptom of bi-polar, refusal to take medication, fear of treatment. It happened to me when I was manic, I thought all my medication was some kind of poison and that there wasn’t anything wrong with me and doctors were trying to destroy who I really was. My mom when manic thought hospital staff consisted of devils and angels.

Anyway I just looked some stuff up and other than convincing him yourself, if he’s having psychotic behavior like delusions, that’s enough to consider it an emergency situation and you can force treatment in that case. I suggest calling a hospital and letting them know how bad his condition has gotten and ask them what to do from there.

Otherwise, try to get to the root of why he’s refusing help or medication and do some research on those reasons to find ways to give a convincing reassurance that this is something he needs.

#xenized-kitsune

14 notes · View notes

littlebitofbass · 7 years

Note

Hey! I was one of the many who was supposed to attend the STL concert, and I'm kinda surprised he hasn't said anything about it (yet) on social media. Is that normal? I'm super sad I couldn't see him, but obviously safety comes first, and hopefully I'll get to see him if they reschedule!

Hi! I’m so sorry your concert had to be canceled. I know it was for the best, but it does really suck to be looking forward to something for a long time only to have it taken away at the last minute due to circumstances that you can’t control.

I… actually do think it’s kind of weird that Ed himself didn’t make some sort of statement about the concert being canceled. I remember when Justin Bieber canceled part of his tour and Ed was asked his opinion about it in an interview, and he said he felt like it was the right decision and as long as the fans got refunded for their tickets and Justin apologized to them then it was all fine. I know fans are being refunded for Ed’s canceled show, but the fact that he thought Justin should make a statement but he himself hasn’t made one does seem a little odd. On the other hand, the circumstances are very different, and the reason for the cancellation of the St. Louis show had nothing to do with Ed, so I can also see why he wouldn’t feel like he needed to say anything… And since his Instagram is the only public social media that he uses right now but it isn’t necessarily strictly work-related, maybe he didn’t feel like it would be an appropriate place to make an official statement…? I don’t know, though. He’s made statements to fans on that account before…

Anyway, you asked if it was normal, but I’m afraid there isn’t really a “normal” way for Ed to handle something like this because I don’t think it has ever happened to him before! So I guess technically however he handles the situation right now is whatever is normal for him. I do think it would have been the polite thing to do to say something, though. Even just a short little reassurance that he’ll be back next year.

I hope you get to see him then! Fingers crossed it works out for you. :)

#reply #ed sheeran

4 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

theyoontomyjin

Jacheongbi

animereverie

Anime Screencaps

thetimbrown

Thetimbrown

kobtol-blog

theKobtoL

elkdiaries

ended up with a pair of cracked lips