#I know your actual people but like

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point #not a shitpost #cptsd #and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer #the truth is i know why i wasn't loved #i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings #i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing #i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance #the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it #i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer #and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!! #because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that! #it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs! #so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't. #when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to #you can look for answers and reasons and explanations #but that's not actually going to FIX your situation. #and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job) #because you don't need answers--you need a new situation #*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme* #and yes. walking out isn't always possible. #but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap. #stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air #new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust #like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be #when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole

[anneapocalypse]

So, just curious how many writers and creators will have to be forcibly outed by relentless harassment before we acknowledge that "This queer characters was written by a cishet person and that's why they're bad" is not good criticism.

#yes i'm just going to come out and say it i'm talking about sera #not exclusively but i am talking about her #'but her writer actually iS A--' you don't know that! it doesn't matter! and i don't care! #just say that you do not like the character. #people will reblog posts about the latest actor or YA author or whatever getting forced out of the closet and be like #'wow. :( that's terrible.' #and then GO RIGHT BACK TO DOING IT #when are we going to learn #when are we going to stop doing this BEFORE somebody is forcibly outed #because in practical terms #that means you have to be okay with queer characters being written by straight people. #you have to stop weaponizing that against writers you don't like. #you have to be willing to critique the writing on its own merits #without using the writer's (assumed) identity to prop up your arguments #that's how it works #but who wants to actually change the way they talk about media #when tearing apart people's identities for clout is far more entertaining. #gwaren exports #fandom problems #fandom critical

[phleb0tomist]

tumblr users will have the most inaccessible, unreadable, low contrast, flashing carrd you can possibly imagine, with a dni full of insider acronyms with no translation and numerous link buttons labelled with cryptic captions, and then go ahead and put “ableists dni and kys!” on that carrd

#yeah i’m bitter about carrds becoming so hostile to disabled people #nobody with vision issues or photosensitivity or processing issues or epilepsy or memory issues could possibly read your carrd #small changes like proper colour contrast between background and text can make a world of difference in making your page accessible #even just spelling out the acronyms in your dni or mentioning WHERE a mysterious link will actually lead is so helpful #i see so many links that are just random literary quotes that turn out to lead to a mandatory dni. how would anyone know that?? #txt #accessibility #1000

[ps1demodisk]

Sorry I'm not low empathy autistic in the "mysterious loner boy who secretly cares about his friends and talks in a monotone voice" way and I'm actually just completely indifferent to the suffering of people I don't know personally and help strangers out of a sense of "this is the right thing to do" and not "I feel so bad for this person" or guilt.

I sit and listen to my friends even though I don't really care about hearing about their problems because I know they'll be upset if I don't, and despite the fact I honestly can't genuinely care about the issue itself, I care about the impact it's having on my friends and that's enough to make me want to help them through it.

Did you know that's actually an expression of empathy all of its own?

It will absolutely happen again I literally am not even sorry

#actually autistic #low empathy #low empathy autistic #seriously #personal rant #serious post #the first part isn't a dig at people with high empathy or regular empathy btw #i know it reads like that #but i don't have alternative wording #you can't just say #support all autistic people #then turn your back on people who's presentation of autism you dislike #you're just as ableist as any other bigot #and I mean that #don't try to debate me on this post I'll actually bite you

[lilybug-02]

Patience and responsibility....that's a promise....right?

Part 27 First || Previous || Next...

--Full Series--

An exorcism? In my family-friendly Deltarune? It's more likely than you may think. The backgrounds here were very interesting! Much more complex than how I usually do them (especially that computer).

Player POV:

Feral energy.

#Syke! Chara has no idea how to do sh*t with Exorcisms #in a society where it's literally seen as a blessing of some kind. It is seen as unethical! Your hurting the silly little guy :( #Why is Azzy so hesitant with this festival?? #WHAT THE HECK IS THE ANGELS LANDING DAY??? Azzy get over here- #without a soul?.....I dont know any creatures like that....plants maybe? #That is totally a knock off Mario cart and not a png I found online. DO NOT LOOK INTO THIS #Salt!? owo hehehe #I was very iffy on how much light I wanted here. I kept layering the darkness lmaoo. They kept the lights low in case Toriel woke up. #can you spot the everyman? ;) #hmm your not supposed to be able to read the computer....but I may make an update so people can actually see it?? I hate to leave it grainy #but im a little tired so thats maybe for tomorrow! #thank you all again for waiting so long! #deltarune chara timeline #deltarune chara timeline comic #bread #art #my art #chara #asriel #kris #susie

[egophiliac]

just thinking about hair and faces

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #i don't THINK this counts as face horror but just in case #face horror #for your daily dose of me losing my mind over anime characters #i don't know why the hair thing surprised me so much. i think because i thought it was funny that lilia named silver after his hair color. #like ha ha lilia is hilariously bad at names how cute and silly! #oh. oh it's kind of a Thing. #anyway i am excited to see where the heck all of this stuff with silver's various dads ends up! #we still don't actually know who killed meleanor! #we still don't know literally anything about dad draconia! (dadconia? dradconia?) #we don't know what happened to the macguffin gem with its magical dad-saving powers! #(surely this will not come back to save a certain dad at a later point. of course not.) #man i was not expecting episode 7 to be all dads all the time #i mean i'm here for it but #hey remember when the highest stakes were who was gonna win the big talent show #then robots started kidnapping people and now we've just escalated from there #episode 8 our cat is going to turn into a drippy ink kaiju and we're going to have to mecha battle him to save the world or something #each member of diasomnia pilots a limb and we gattai into a giant robot dragon and hold on i gotta submit this spec script to aniplex brb

[chloesimaginationthings]

You should totally have Jeremy meet the gang if you haven't already!

I definitely should, so far this is the only time I’ve drawn him in the comic!

#ask reply #TBH NGL I’m kinda waiting for some news on fnaf 2 #before totally jumping into drawing Jeremy a ton #mostly cause it would be nice to know some info to work with #but also means more attention would be on Jeremy too #like in all consideration Jeremy is actually a very niche character 😭 #despite being a main protagonist we’ve only gotten maybe some info about him recently #so I really wanna draw Jeremy but I also want to do it at the right time #want people to know this guy BAHAH #Jeremy my beloved you’ll have your day in the sun

[mayasaura]

I don't wanna further hijack that poor poll, but the thing about Harrow's schizophrenia is that it's canon. The author has confirmed it, and shared that it's based on her own experience.

It's a pretty obscure bit of canon, so of course there's no shame in not already knowing, but that's why I'm so obnoxiously persistent about letting people know.

Whatever else is up with Harrow, autism or cptsd or any number of likely headcanons, she is also schizophrenic. I feel like that's too important to be handwaved away as a difference of opinion.

#like of course not everyone knows I'm not the kind of asshole who gets mad about someone not having heard about an unrecorded con panel #not knowing is one thing #erasing or ignoring that aspect of her is something completely different #like yeah she's incredibly relateable in that way #and I know how comforting it can be to project your own dx onto someone and go 'wow shes just like me fr' #but I really feel like doing that re: Harrow's schizophrenia is a huge lost opportunity for growth #and I hate that the takeaway for so many people is 'Harrow is autistic' #and not 'oh cool didn't know autism and schizophrenia had so much overlap in experience' #relate to psychotic people without flinching challenge #anyway. tl;dr: #if you didn't already know then I have the coolest new fun fact about Harrow to share with you!! #if you do already know but have elicted to ignore it then a little bit fuck you actually #but I will ALWAYS assume someone didn't know before assuming they're being a dick #the locked tomb #harrow nonagesimus #harrowhark nonagesimus #harrow the ninth

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

putting my prediction on record now that the coming decade is going to see the rise of viral-marketed fancy at-home water filtration systems, driving and driven by a drastic reduction in the quality of U.S. tap water (given that we are in a 'replacement era' where our current infrastructure is reaching the end of its lifespan--but isn't being replaced). also guessing that by the 2030s access to drinkable tap water will be a mainstream class issue, with low-income & unstably housed people increasingly forced to rely on expensive bottled water when they can't afford the up-front cost of at-home filtration--and with this being portrayed in media as a "moral failing" and short-sighted "choice," rather than a basic failure of our political & economic systems. really hope i'm just being alarmist, but plenty of this already happens in other countries, and the U.S. is in a state of decline, so. here's praying this post ages into irrelevance. timestamped April 2023

#apollo don't fucking touch this one #serious post #not a shitpost #hope i forget about this post and have no reason to ever look back on it one day #fyi i'm aware that access to potable water is already a major issue in parts of the U.S. yes i know flint michigan exists #i'm saying that this issue is going to GROW unless local & federal governments work together to fix it. #so it's a matter of if we trust them to fix it. And well--do you? #what are the chances the government just denies there's a problem until the water actually turns brown #at which point it's already been common knowledge for years and people have just become resigned and that's our new normal #i'm mean come on. how many of us already believe that we're being exposed to dangerous pollutants we don't know about and can't avoid #like that's pretty much just part of being a modern consumer. accepting that companies will happily endanger your life for a few pennies #and the most you'll get is like a $50 gift card as part of a class action rebate 20 years down the line #probably the history books will look back on Flint as a warning and a harbinger that went ignored #luxury condos will advertise their built-in top-of-the-line filtration systems--live here and you can drink water straight from your tap! #watch the elite professional class putting $700 dyson water filtration systems on their wedding registry #while the rest of us figure out how to fit water delivery into our grocery budget while putting 90% of our paycheck towards rent #also eggs are $15

[crimeronan]

#mutual etiquette fascinates me. i unfollow and refollow people i consider good friends all the time #for any number of reasons. which do not impact our friendship. even if the reasons are Your Blog Currently Annoys Me. #so seeing people talk about being trapped in mutuals like a loveless marriage.... #i just wanna know how many people ACTUALLY live like this. versus are free #polls #tumblr #tumblr etiquette #u can reblog to increase visibility if u want but theres enough of u following me to get Some small sample size

[uncanny-tranny]

Love disabled people who just lie about their disabilities to nosy, intrusive questions. Sorry, yeah, I lost my arm in the wash one day. It's funny how that happens! Oh, I got back pain from saving nineteen children from a burning fire department <3

#disability #sometimes lying is just. funny. SORRY. #look like... whether you lie about why you're disabled you're still disabled and it shouldn't have to factor into how you're treated... #...if it isn't relevant to your care needs or care plan. #like. if you lost your arm does it matter if you say you lost it in the wash like a sock or tell your actual story... #...like either way you still /do not have an arm/. that doesn't change if you lie or not #anyway. huge defense for a post that probably didn't need said defense #sometimes you just feel like lying in such a grandiose way that people don't know if they SHOULDN'T believe you #i think my lie will be that a powerful necromancer preformed Emergency Bone Shaving on one leg only... #...and he used the bone shavings to raise a skeleton army that looks like My skeleton but only on the legs

[knifearo]

i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as a binary i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as a sliding scale of "less" to "more" i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as the only two options i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as significantly different things i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as all encompassing i hate the concept of platonic and romantic as the two halves of a shallow concept of love that doesn't actually encompass anything at all i think we need to overhaul every popular conception about "types" of love so we can talk about things that are real and true for once

#in conclusion. alloromantics stfu up about love challenge #hate using the term platonic so much actually. cause even if it has a definition that is what it Should mean #you know that people don't actually think about it that way. #you say 'platonic' and you might Mean an all-encompassing love. but how it's interpreted is shorthand for 'just friends' #so like. the word platonic isn't Really for me is it :| #platonic gets presented like a consolation prize for aro people no matter where you turn #but fundamentally rn it comes from a concept of platonic and romantic as the two kinds of love #where platonic is for family and friends and nothing More. #and romantic is for the relationships that overhaul all else #so 'aros can still feel platonic love!' ok. what if it's not platonic as you know it though. #'oh then it's romantic!' k but it's not romantic either. will your framework explode if i say that #'aros can still feel platonic love!' why do you say that like it's a second-best option and expect me to identify with it... #again. platonic might Actually mean smth i experience. but it won't be Heard that way. do you get what i'm saying #i don't experience 'platonic blurring into romantic' cause i will never feel romantic love actually. those lines are still blurring though #ummmmm in conclusion. killing and biting #aromantic #aromanticism #aroace #arospec #talking

[heartorbit]

revstar emu save me

#please watch revue starlight #project sekai #pjsk #prsk #emu otori #proseka #Im so mad i wrote 8 million tags stream of consciousness style and then aposted this to the weong account #im not rewriting all that. you get NOTHING. #actually i will say again i have no idea why this kind of blee up on twit please WATCH TEVUE STAKRIGHTBTNGL #i KNOW 4 thiusand of you did not watch it Watch revue starlight Do not speak of yuri unless you partske in the revue #sorry. anyways #the jist of it was ahh the assignments -> making cosplay -> might post it here if i can take a bice photo for once in my life #because im proud of it. as mortifying as it is. #my best friend is cosplaying an im the clown Two lesbians walk into the metro convention centre(is that where toronto comicon is????) #Oh right i was thinking of making little drswings of pjsk charas or at least exs and printing them out in bulk on a dheet of paper #and coloring them in w markers and giving them to people at the pjsk meetup or vendors i get merch from.. #i thought itd be fun. Also i swear to god i have a sheet of like MAGNET paper somewhere i want to make people emu magnets #Ok i fucking for real have to go to sleep i have to get up for class in 5 hours. wuit your college join my emo(daily affirmations)

[lazylittledragon]

what do you mean youre technically a detransitioner cause of terf bullshit?

it's a v long story but i detransitioned for a couple of years when i was 16/17, for multiple reasons but mostly because i fell into the blaire white/kalvin garrah chamber of "you have to be This way to be trans otherwise you're not real".

i was already Deeply insecure about myself and my 'passing' and i was led to believe that i couldn't want to wear makeup or skirts, and i couldn't choose not to have bottom surgery, and i couldn't do anything but bind for 12+ hours a day to the point that my ribcage is still misshapen. basically i thought that if i wasn't suffering enough doing 'feminine' things, i couldn't really be trans, so i should just go back to being a girl and suck it up.

the terf bullshit is because i'd seen a lot of terfs/detransitioners talking about the 'dangers' of testosterone and how it would turn me into a horrible ugly evil monster and how there was nothing worse than wanting to be a man. which combined with 'you need to fully medically transition to be valid at all' creates some very dangerous and upsetting feelings to cope with.

it also came from trying really hard to put myself in a little box before i realised that my sexuality/gender are very fluid and it's FINE for me not to have a label and just do whatever i want. when i was 19 or so i went back to using they/them (and eventually he/him) and changed my name again because even though i like doing 'feminine' things, i don't want to be seen as a woman.

tldr: i was conditioned by transphobic/terf rhetorics to think that i was being trans the 'wrong' way so i couldn't be trans at all, so i believed i must actually be a girl if i still wanted to do 'feminine' things. nowadays i am a transmasc who does feminine things because i don't give two shits about what any transmed prick thinks of me anymore.

#ramble #ok to reblog btw i'm fine with this being shared #this was meant to be a short version but this is just the whole story whoops #sorry i realised the way i phrased it sounded like i'm the detrans you see in the news #i'm Technically a detransitioner because a lot of detrans stats are people who go on to RETRANSITION #because detransition is often because of social stigma and not because you realised you weren't trans #so anyway. terfs are cancer and if you don't think their bs is harming children you're wrong #i know it's easy to say 'you should've used your brain and realised those people were wrong' #but like. when you're 16 you're SO impressionable. even if you think you aren't #especially when you're watching people who have been transitioning longer than you and you assume they know everything #i was in my mid-late teens when 'transtrender' videos were MASSIVE and i believed it!!! and i was Not nice about those people #all they made me believe was that being trans couldn't be colourful and comfy and fun. it just had to be Pain #i hope everyone who contributed to the 'you need to be this way to be trans' mindset knows how much hurt they've caused #nowadays i don't care. go and be stargender. we have actual problems to deal with not debates about neopronouns #anyway this was long. that's the story

[measuringbliss]

People are acting so weird and possessive of Markiplier for the whole OnlyFans situation. He's an adult. He's an adult who's been a celebrity for years. He knows people thirst on him. That's why he had this idea in the first place. He's not some naive kid you must protect. He's not some innocent soul that the evil sluts of Tumblr and Twitter will corrupt. He knows the Internet, he knows his fans and he knows his job.

He's an adult and he can make his own choices.

#Markiplier #I've seen quite a few comments expressing discomfort and like. You can just. Not subscribe to his OF???? #That's a possibility. You can block people too. #I think some of you really need to learn about parasocial relationships and reflect on it #He's not your dad #He's not your friend #He's just a dude #A dude who has a job and it just so happens that his job revolves around appearing personable #Don't forget that you don't truly know him and MORE IMPORTANTLY he doesn't know YOU #He probably has various ideas on xho his fans are as subgroups but he doesn't know you personally #Actually it reminds me of Maisee Williams in GoT s8 #People had seen her (the character and the actress) grow up over the years and when she decided she wanted to do a nude scene #A lot of people said they were uncomfortable #In both cases. They're adults. They can do whatever they want. #I guess that was a rant but sometimes I find the fandom really off-putting #Deactivated reblogs because the RBs were getting boring and a pain

[gabe-lovebot]

councilor 3D model

i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up to bring him to life. he's yours now. do whatever you want with him

[link]

please credit me if you make something using the model (or even ping/link me to it, i would love to see what you made!)

currently available as a .blend, .fbx and an SFM port.

#hello councilnation i'm finally releasing him to the wild #have fun playing toys with him #ultrakill #councilor #councilor ultrakill #3d stuff #obviously with the councilor having just 1 full body image of him means that some stuff i had to improvise on #so you get to enjoy my headcanons on how he looks #(like obviously the wings & halo) #(but also the chestplate design) #but did you know that the councilor's canon design has subtle engravings on his forearm armor pieces? #i only barely noticed them when painting textures and i was floored #i had to add them #to the sfm anon and whoever else wants to use this for sfm stuff- #i did my best with a port for sfm and i'm quite proud of the result #but please be aware i have never used it before so if you find that something doesn't work as it should please please let me know!! #gonna pour my heart out in tags as always so close your eyes if you don't wanna see me being sentimental but #i'm not kidding when i say i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up for this #i have meddled with blender before but never actually came close to finishing a project #and i don't know how i did it and how i kept going #(i do know) (it was my friend encouraging me every time i showed him progress) #this was like 1 entire month in the making #but i'm so fucking proud of this and how it turned out and people's tags in my act 2 render genuinely were such a huge confidence boost #so thank you guys for liking it <3 #i'm still very much thinking of doing a version with just his bloodied head #but it might take a while because i want a break and i want to play warframe