#I love Steven so much hahahahaha
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Phone Dave Chapter 3: Steven
(Steven in this AU is such a bitch I love him)
Jack had been trying to interact with Dave for a week.
Neither had been successful.
The restaurant was in a back alley part of Reno, the customers who came were committed but with no employees… they had made all of $100 the entire week. 40% made up Dave’s paycheque for an hour.
The phone was a hard worker, for sure. Jack had never seen a phone who… well did half as much. But he couldn’t do everything.
There was only one option with how Freddy’s was run. Animatronics. They needed workers but couldn’t afford them until they had any actual income. Any animatronic would do.
And for that, they needed funding. It would be easy if they could just scavenge, but Freddys was so profitable that there wasn’t anywhere to get them.
The restaurant was doomed. That much was clear.
“Mr Kennedy… Mr Kennedy wake up…” Jack shot back into the present.
“WHUH!?!”
“Mr Kennedy, you zoned out like an idiot in the middle of my question.”
“Sorry… s’ good weed.”
The phone sighs in exasperation. “Sir, we have a member of upper management coming in an hour, get ready.”
Right… Dave set up a meeting without asking to try to get funding.
Jack stands up, scattering the empty pizza boxes, cigarette packs, blunts, and empty bottles that covered his body on the ground.
Dave suddenly makes a dialup noise.
“What?”
“MR KENNEDY WHAT THE H-HECK!?”
“Hmmm?”
“SIR… SIR YOU’RE-!”
“I’m what?”
“YOU’RE HECKING NAKED!!!!!”
“What I’m… SHIT FUCK I’M SORRY!!!” Jack says, quickly covering himself with one of the boxes.
“J-just be decent for when they get here.”
…
Jack walks out of the office in his usual horrible outfit of a green coat covered in sequins with both a tiger and leopard pattern on it, skinny jeans, cowboy boots, no shirt, and a terrible blonde wig that looks like it could have been alive.
Dave glares at him with no eyes.
“What I’m decent.”
“YOU’RE SHIRTLESS.”
“I’m wearing a tie.”
“ITS GOT HOT-WHEELS ON IT!!!”
“My finest garment.”
“AT LEAST STRAIGHTEN IT OUT!!!”
“Ahem.” Another Scott voice says. Both of them look to see Steven himself leaning against a doorway. “I hope I’m not interrupting… whatever this is.”
“Eeep! No- no worries Sir! We were just finishing our discussion… w-what brings the Company Representative himself down to our objectively terrible location?”
“Both of you used to work for me. Oh and my memory could be a LITTLE fuzzy but I also distinctly remember you both left me to burn to death in the wreckage of my location.”
“I… don’t remember that sorry. Quite fortunately I have yet to remember-“
“I don’t care.”
“Who pissed in your coffee…” Jack mutters. He remembers Steven not being a great boss but he seems to have gotten worse.
God he wished Steven died in the fire-
“I heard that.” The red phone states.
“Good because-“ Dave shoves his hand over Jack’s mouth.
“Hahahahaha… funny joke sir but let’s not insult the company representative. I’ll kill you if we go bankrupt Mr Kennedy.” He whispers the last part.
“Well. It’s good to see one of you has a brain. Now, are you going to keep bickering and wasting my valuable time or are we going to do something?”
“Y-yes sir I’ll show you around. Mr Kennedy will follow us and say nothing because I don’t want him to ruin everything and if I lock him in the janitorial closet he’d just escape.”
“I’m very slippery.”
“Right.” Steven sighs in exasperation.
…
“And here’s the Saferoom. You’ll notice a stark lack of blood! This is because we just opened, the quantity will rise.”
“Uhuh… and the moss.”
“It ate my cleaning supplies sir.”
“Seems like you hardly tried.”
“Uhhhhhh… moving on! This is the dining room. Mr Kennedy has employed… some kind of ghost? I didn’t question it because he didn’t question the lack of pay.”
“Ah yes, ghost Ronaldo. How predictable.”
“Y-yes sir! Next up we have the prize corner!”
Matt stares intently at the 3 of them.
“That concludes our viewing of the prize corner.”
“Thank god.” Steven says, seemingly actually genuinely thankful.
Understandable. Matt is horrifyingly.
“N-next is the dining area! It’s only got a few people right now… Mr Kennedy says they’re his friends. I think they are trash and are scaring away better customers.”
“Eh you just don’t get it Davey.” Jack says, throwing his arm over Dave’s shoulder.
“I barely tolerate this bizarre nickname you have given me in the first place, don’t push it by using a nickname of this nickname.”
“Davey~”
“Sleep lightly tonight Kennedy, sleep lightly.”
“If you two would stop having your lovers quarrel for 5 hecking minutes, thank you.”
“We are not lovers sir, I am the manager and he is the terrible owner, it would be highly unprofessional.”
“I’m technically your boss you know-“
“Rule one, you are not my boss, you are my friend. I do not see you as a friend however I will take this to mean that you are in fact not my boss, and are my subordinate.”
“COULD YOU TWO CONTINUE THE TOUR NOW!?”
“Don’t worry Phoney, I go this.” Jack says, cracking his knuckles.
“Oh no…”
Jack leads them down a hallway.
“On your left you’ll see our world class one of a kind Foxy Stripclub. There used to be more but they got closed. I was the reason they got closed. Now, as you’re both phones I’d bet-“
“Hahahahahaaaa Mr Kennedy is kidding. IGNORE HIM.”
“Well I mean you two could get up on stage yourselves if-“
“Pardon?” Steven questions.
“HAHAHA JUST KIDDING! One more word and you never walk again.”
“Anyway moving on from that is the ballpit! Music man has nested here.”
“Music man?” Steven asks, disgust in his artificial voice.
“He’s a beloved member of the Fazbender’s family.” Jack explains. “Next we have this little shitty playground full of tetanus that we stole from McDonalds.”
“It’s not that much tetanus… just enough to kill my annoying as heck “friend” here Mr Kennedy if he doesn’t shut the heck up.”
“Next is the bathrooms! They haven’t been cleaned since the 60s!”
“I… can smell that.” Steven says… phones can smell… noted… well I mean it’s not the first time.
“Ooookay… and our final stop… the stage! As you can see there are no animatronics! We need some. Can you please give us the money?”
A moment passes. “Hmmmm… no… no I can’t.”
“Oh that’s ok sir I-“ Dave starts.
“And why not?”
“See I don’t see this location being successful.”
“Dave’s a pretty good phone.”
“You know what… let’s be real here… IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW GOOD HE IS. This is a back alley location full of crackheads run by a pothead who’s recent twitter posts indicate-“
“Phoney do you follow my twitter?”
“-INDICATE THAT HE IS MAKING $100 A WEEK AND THINKS THATS GOOD. There has never been a less successful location.”
“What’s the harm in giving us one animatronic!? FUCKING BALLOON BOY! GIVE US FUCKING BALLOON BOY!!!”
“I wouldn’t give you a stick of gum.”
Jack glares at the phone, he glares back… then the door is kicked down by a man dressed as Candy a The Cat, he is carrying a gun.
“VENGEANCE FOR CANDY’S!!!!!!!!!” The man starts shooting at them, Jack manages to grab both phones’ arms and starts to bolt down the hallway to his office.
As soon as he makes it to the room he shuts and locks the door.
“Let me out there I can fight him.” Dave says.
“I’m not letting you get shot.”
“Life and Limb for the Fazbender’s Brand Mr Kennedy, that’s my motto.”
“I’m not letting you get shot.”
“I have a rocket launcher. I could-“ Steven starts
“I’m not letting you get shot.”
Jack starts to dig around in a large pile of takeout bags and rats until he finds a locker covered in Lightning McQueen stickers.
“Mr Kennedy, do you just really like race cars? Because if you do that’s fine but you could just admit that.”
“I will admit nothing.” Jack says as he starts inputting the code, getting it wrong.
“What… what’s your plan?” Steven says, still trying to sound intimidating.
Jack manages to open the safe and pulls out a gun. “I’m going to go get shot for your sorry asses.”
“Mr Kennedy I highly doubt-“
“Shhhhhhh.” Jack puts a finger over where Dave’s mouth should be.
“You know my mouth is under my dial r-?”
“Shhhhh… I’ll be back.” Jack blows a kiss at both phones and kicks down the door while yelling.
“He’s doomed right?” Steven asks.
“Oh yeah totally. Heck…”
…
“Hey bitches.” Jack says, entering the room covered in blood.
“Mr Kennedy! You’re… covered in blood.”
“It’s not mine don’t worry.”
“Did you ACTUALLY beat that Candy the Cat freak?” Steven asks.
“Didn’t kill him, it’s been like 12 years since I’ve killed anyone and I don’t want to break that streak.”
“But you did stop him?”
“Oh yeah I did.”
“Well… in light of recent developments I…. Ahem… have decided to grant you two unrestricted access to the condemned animatronic warehouse. It’s free… technically illegal… but hey you know the old Fazbender’s motto, Sweep it Under The Rug It’ll Probably Be Fine.”
…
The two wave as Steven gets into his car which Jack is totally not weird about.
“I see this not being the last time we interact. I’m sure you’ll be in dire need of help again.” Steven says. “Catch you on the Flipside.”
The man drives away, and Jack sighs and sits down in the parking lot.
“You know, I wouldn’t mind seeing him again Mr Kennedy.” Dave says.
“You know what Dave? Me neither.” Jack sighs, before passing out.
#dsaf#dayshift at freddy's#dsaf dave#dsaf jack#davesport#dsaf old sport#dsaf steven#dsaf phone guy#dsaf fanfics#dsaf fanfic#candy the cat guy#steve minecraft
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Underdogs United
This is a draft aotm. Will get back to this after today. LOL.
When two alpha males unite, here’s what you get. :D I have very mixed feelings about Gary Vee ever since I saw his stuff some ten years back. Saw him first from a good number of sessions & pakak discussions with my OG start up tatay HAHAHAHAHAHA.
My first two cents: Digital is but another fucking mythical male-dominated world, after all. Women are muted but I am hanging on to the possibility that women will eventually come around. We always do. We ought to. And at present, the future is female. The future is now. OPAK. Kapit lungs. I-kegel mo ‘yan, mhie. Sagad mo.
Perhaps, this is where I get my mantra which will be put to extreme test. “May bayag kayo. Ulo n’yo dalawa pa. Partida. Ako wala. Kaya tumabi kayo. Ako na. Ako naman.” In love and light ito na now, though as opposed to my then-fucked up radical feminist days and nights.
Funny how someone told me that I really strike him as an “all-girls school” girl. And that I remind him of his daughter a lot. Tawang-tawa pa siya. Sabi ko, is that a compliment or a critique? Sabi niya, compliment. Sabi ko, handa ba siyang maging ganito buhay and vibe ng anak niya. Sabi niya, ready naman daw siya. HAHAHAHAHA. Shemay.
Isa lang akong hamak na student assistant and 4 years lang po akong nakikipamuhay sa mga elitista. Pilit na pilit lang ako to be honest kasi alam ko sa kaibuturan ko, I bleed in maroon kaso mother dragon cancelled me out. Sabi niya, dream daw niya all-girls. So, sige. FUCK. Iyo na pangarap mo. Tangkehin ko na kahit ayoko talaga. I remember seeing her kinda teared up nung nakasuot na ako ng fucking uniform with pointed high heels. Very good daw. Looks good on me. Ako naman, bakit kasi ang panget ng uniform? Bakit may uniform to begin with? But, sige, ma. Galingan mong magpagaling para matapos na ‘tong shit na ‘to. Kahit na ang hirap talaga kasi I never felt I fit in sa 4 years ko doon. :D Lagi akong may what if beyond The White Walls. Ganyan ko kamahal nanay kong Taurus kahit sobrang UGHHHHHHH every fucking day.
Don’t get me wrong. My run has been a good one. Inisip ko na lang since all-girls, level ang playing field kaso nakakamiss makipagtunggali sa mga XY. In fairness naman, dahil nga I want to give back sa paraang alam ko, extra active tayo sa extra-curricular stuff basta walang masyadong gastos. Effort lang baon ko saka pangaral at mega push ng nanay kong weirdo.
Even my OG marketing dad asked me if I am all-girls through and through tapos when I answered NO, nagulat siya. Parang may loyalty award daw kasi ako sa tingin niya. Sabi ko, tigil siya. UGH. Weird talaga. I feel I am so kanal and masa kasi so, ayun.
If there’s one thing I like about Gary Vee, it’s his underdog mentality and his triple down approach to confidence. Iba. Tabi. Giba. Wala talaga siyang pake. Siguro, espiritu ng pinisat ng mga grapes. Very graphic pa. LOLOLLOL.
The first time I came across this session with Steven, tawang-tawa ako. As in. Let me get back to this after today. Very IYKYK x iyak pa e. This deserves a deep dive. Or maybe not. LOL.
Tawang-tawa ako sa tatay ko because he was tuned in pala when I was listening to the podcast very early in the morning. LOL. I thought he was still asleep. He noted why the heck Gary’s voice is like that and how he seems to know too much. :D Sabi ko, dad, kalma. Kalmahan mo lang.
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Hello! I can’t believe I’m writing another letter. Hopefully this will be the last. Haha. Coz I can’t keep adding shit to this blog every attempt and then end up not being successful. Lol. Like, bitch can’t do anything right in life and even in DEATH. FOR FUCKING SHAME. 😆
My name is Seth. I was born Suzette Antonio Soyangco. I stopped using that name ever since my mom committed suicide. I refuse to be called by my dead name so I hope you respect that.
I know that you’re all fucking tired of seeing the same scenario where I would attempt to kill myself and then I’d end up surviving that shit. If there’s a god, please I beg you. Do me a favor and end my suffering already. You know that I’m not strong enough to live. Take me away from this ugly vessel. I hated it ever since. It’s fat, heavy, full of flaws and there’s so many complications. I mean, why the fuck would you give me a faulty vessel? You could’ve made me hot and popular. Lol.
Anyway, this letter is not meant to be sad. I wanted everyone to laugh at my jokes even after kicking the bucket. Hehe.
Dad, I know you noticed. I know that you knew something’s off. Kinda wished you cared a bit more. But I swear, I know you loved me. It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault. It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem, it’s me. (Lol sorry had to throw a little Taylor Swift action in there hehehehehe) I will always love you. I’ll kiss mama for you. I’ll make sure to find that bitch coz she’s one of the main reasons why I’m following her footsteps HAHAHAHAHAHA
Chico; bitch i love you. You were my best friend, my brother, my twin from another uterus, the Sully to my Mike Wazowski, the redbull to my jager bomb. Never stop playing the drums! Never stop writing songs! Treat yourself a little bit more kinder. You are amazing. You’re a very handsome man.
Mimi; You’re the sister I wish I had. I love you with every fiber of my being. you’re such an amazing person and you’re going to be so successful and please please please keep singing. Continue to bring light in people’s hearts.
Joe; my maaaan. You brought my dreams to life dude. You made me see my true potential. And i love you for that! I’m sorry I won’t be alive to see you buy that building you always wanted. Don’t worry tho, I promise to haunt the hallways whenever you’re in the building. If you hear someone singing the hook to Psycho at 3am in one of your hallways, that’s me. Hahahahaha.
Mia; I’m sorry I was a bad friend. Tell Knives and Audrey I’m sorry. I was supposed to watch over the three of you. I can’t keep myself alive to do that. But I promise I’ll take care of you in the afterlife. If there’s any.
Andrea, Miko, Joshy and Pee; four of my fucking bitches in CNX!!! I love you guys. Thanks for making my corporate ass kissing life a little less fucky. You were the greatest office buddies I have ever had!
To my past lovers who I loved dearly before;
Kent, Wilson, Daniel, Kyle Adrian, Manfred, Carlos Oyo, Marck Steven, Carlo, Joshua Caleb, Richard Jim Matthew (fucking long ass name haha), and my almost forever, Anthony. Thank you for teaching me what love, pain and struggles are. You were my temporary happiness. I loved you all. Specially you, Aga.
To Clarence and Niño, oo sinadya ko na hindi isama yung name nyo dun kasi putangina nyo. I hope you get the same fucking depression that I had. Fuck you to hell and back. I hope you both die a horrible death. Suck my devil dick and choke.
This last part will be for the most important person, the only person I genuinely care about.
My beautiful daughter, SOFIA ELIST.
Words cannot describe how much I love you. You’re the only reason I stayed this long, baby. I’m sorry I won’t get to see you grow up. But hey, don’t be sad. Your life will be sooo much better without me coz I’m a horrible mom. Haha. I swear you’re gonna thank me for dying early coz idk what I would do to your first boyfriend (or girlfriend. Whatever your preference is in the future). I’d terrorize the shit out of that person to make sure they have good intentions towards you. You were the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don’t wanna be a burden to you anymore. Be safe anak. Mahal na mahal ka ni mommy. Maiintindihan mo din ako soon. I love you and I’ll always will. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. I loved your paper dolls and drawings. I love how you sing and dance! You are so beautiful. More beautiful than I am. Chase your dream and never stop believing in yourself. I love you.
My name is Seth. I’m a daughter, a sister, a mother, a friend and a lover. I don’t know exactly know myself. I have no idea who the real me is. I never had a real personality. I mirror every body I meet. I am not unique. I’m basically a small piece of everybody built in one human. I wanted to be a singer. A world renowned singer. But it didn’t happen. Coz God knows I’ll kill myself sooner when the hate gets to me. He brought me into this world to create a beautiful human named Sofia. When she came, that how I knew that my job here on earth is done. I loved pancakes, cooking, and I have a sweet tooth. My favorite color is turquoise and every similar color in that spectrum. I loved tattoos and piercings. I was here, I tried to save myself, I failed, and now I’m gone.
I leave you something to remember by, DO NO HARM but TAKE NO SHIT.
I don’t remember who or where I got that from but ain’t nobody who’s about to kill themselves got time to research that.
Don’t forget to live the DILLIGAF life. Everybody always has some shit to say so fuck it. You do you. I love you all. Be kind to each other. 🖤😘🥰
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UMMM HECK YES?! LOL like the evidence is all here
NO ONE CAN DENY THAT BOOTY
#jasper#pearl#jaspearl#steven universe#anon#ask#aaaaa thank u so much tho!!!!!#im glad ppl appreciate my jASSper hahahahaha#srsly tho i love it#and i love her#please appreciate the collage that i painstakingly created specifically for this post#she is has indisputably huge thighs and ass
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#ostensiblygif Directory
Watcher + Buzzfeed Unsolved + Miscellany
Watcher
Are we hol– It's connection (handtouch.gif)
Watcher + favorite quotes | part 1
Making Watcher 3: Everything’s bleepin’ and bloopin’.
Making Watcher 3: paddington heist & rescue
Watcher logos
Watcher: Worth A Shot
Worth A Shot Season 1 Feb 2022
Godspeed, Spiderman. Your friend, Ryan
♡ Shane
Your friendly neighborhood bartender, Steven.
Watcher: Puppet History
Puppet History Season 4 Episode 5 • The Bloody Revenge of Saint Olga of Kiev
hey, where do you guys stand on revenge?
Puppet History Season 4 Episode 3 • America vs. Smallpox: How Vaccines Saved The Nation
affectionately chuck The Professor under the chin for good luck
I'm never gonna die! hahahahaha
why is the Boston Tea Party the only history lesson Ryan seems to have internalized
Yeahhh! Ya boy about to get some jellybeans
Puppet History Season 4 Episode 1 • The Great Emu War
I have a friend named Shane who had a pet bird, and he ate it.
Puppet History! Rated ‘I’ for ‘Innuendo’
wet
uhhhhhh
Oh my god, you are fixing this in my favor, and I am LOVING IT
Wait, is this what it feels like to learn?
Glitch hidden in the outro and The Professor's TO DO list
Kate: [astonished joy] Ryan: [shocked betrayal]
The magic of theatre!
Puppet History Season 3 Episode 3 • Ziryab: The World's First Rock Star
I can't believe I'm normalized already, to talking to this blue creature.
I really am just destined to lose forever
[snickers in victory]
Puppet History Season 3 Episode 2 • The War of the Golden Stool
So — you’ve learned nothing?
Hell yeah, dude 🤙
Is The Professor doing okay
You just honk the whole time?!
you idiots!
Puppet History Season 3 Episode 1 • The Beast of Gévaudan
[snickers in victory]
Sacre bleu! A thing the French say!
I’m really rootin’ for ya!
I can’t wait... to be within hugging distance of you.
uh, A) - meh! That just feels like that’s the funniest outcome.
Is it weird that I would love to get scared so bad I shit my pants?
Puppet History Season 2 Episode 2 • TThe Terrifying Eruption of Mt. Vesuvius
Posphorus fucked here
Puppet History Season 1 Episode 4 • The Dancing Plague
I’m a history buff!
Sorry, that sentence is amazing.
I’m the Professor!
I should get double points for that last one.
I guess I’m just a zany dude
The Professor getting sassed by a big pile of diamonds
Puppet History Season 1 Episode 1 • Life During The Black Death
I can't believe I'm normalized already, to talking to this blue creature.
The two moods of The Professor
Watcher: Too Many Spirits
Too Many Spirits Season 3 June 2021
you like that? I don't like it
you fuckin' lunatic (affectionate)
[whispering sweet nothings]
friends who schnapp together stay together [heart emoji]
intimidate your victims
could you ring that bell?
Welcome! To! Steve's Saloon!
cool weird uncle summer [TikTok caps]
Season 3 phone lockscreens
Too Many Spirits Live! Feb 11 2021
Double-knotted, asshole!
Drunkenly throwing a card at your bro
*smack*
*smack*, the extended cut
I want that on my lower third, on every piece of media I’m in, from now on. Seasoned bitch!
Too Many Spirits S2 Watchermas 2020
I’m Krampus. I battle Santa Claus. Every year.
The Ghost Of Hangovers Past!
We’re gonna be ho-ho-ho-hammered!
Too Many Spirits S1 October 2020
Yeah, I want that big-headed boy right there.
Drink Number Two, the Shane-Killer
I’d go home with someone.
I like your little barman dance you got there.
Dude, put your finger in your belly button.
This part - I did not prepare for.
Too much spirits! [too much Steven]
This tastes like something you would get served in a bucket
Season 1 phone lockscreens
Pour one out for Steven, everybody
Well, I didn’t know you were already gonna start drinkin’!
I love it, Ryan. I want you to know that I love it. [derby/TMS edit]
the roller derby rockstar fall really comes for you after a few drinks
I don’t have the vision.
BuzzFeed Unsolved Supernatural
BuzzFeed Unsolved: The Making of the Final Investigation
We’ll see. You might see some emotion from the big guy.
Going back to the Sallie House.
This whole last season, to me, felt like a giant thank-you card.
The Demonic Possession of the Conjuring House • BuzzFeed Unsolved Supernatural Season 7 Episode 1
But no good séance is performed without protection, so I got something that you’re gonna really like.
The Spirits of Pythian Castle • BuzzFeed Unsolved Supernatural Season 7 Episode 5
I believe that mustache doesn't attract anything
Season 7 Trailer: Oct 6, 2021
BuzzFeed Unsolved Supernatural Scavenger Hunt reward video
Flashlights (various eps)
Describe fear to me.
And now I’m here, hunting ghouls with my big pal. (Tombstone, AZ)
Bienvenidos a Tokyo
That’s my angle (Season 6 Bloopers)
Strange! Offputting!
You’re not a big breakfast guy.
The Horrifying Sorrel-Weed Haunted Mansion (stills)
The Horrifying Sorrel-Weed Haunted Mansion (gifs)
The Lost Souls of the USS Yorktown • BuzzFeed Unsolved Supernatural Season 6 Episode 3
Unfortunately, Ryan, this is not it.
attack of the spirit box
The Demonic Curse of Annabelle the Doll • BuzzFeed Unsolved Supernatural Season 5 Episode 8
you've got the demon jitters
When I fell into that pile of bricks
The Phantom Prisoners of Ohio State Penitentiary ∙ Season 4 Episode 4
I don’t understand what’s wrong with Ryan, sometimes.
Ryan: Uhhh, holy fuck? Holy fuck holy fuck
I don’t really think you’re actually giving it your all.
You know, this was supposed to be the season of respecting ghosts.
I’m not here. Shhhh!
The Ghost Town At Vulture Mine • Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural Season 3 Episode 1
You’ve really, uh. You’ve really outdone yourself this season.
I got scared by rain! Yeah. Yeah, you did.
It was an assbat.
tell me—tell me all about the tragedy, Ryan
I stole your gold and your wife.
It’s too many bats
The Haunted Halls Of Waverly Hills Hospital • BuzzFeed Unsolved Supernatural Season 2 Ep 4
becoming a ghost hunter - a story in two parts
BuzzFeed Unsolved True Crime
behind-the-scenes of promo photography for BuzzFeed Unsolved True Crime Season 8 within BuzzFeed Unsolved: The Making of the Final Investigation (Nov 24, 2021)
5+1 Let's get into it
Face-poking: an occupational hazard of cohosting with Ryan Bergara
The Tragic Death of Princess Diana • BuzzFeed Unsolved True Crime Season 8 Episode 5
What am I talking about? He can go fuck himself.
(tense silence)
The Puzzling Disappearance of Agatha Christie • BuzzFeed Unsolved True Crime Season 8 Episode 2
You're MISSING the POINT
The Mysterious Death of George Reeves • BuzzFeed Unsolved True Crime Season 8 Episode 1
We’re all fuckin’ each other - isn’t that great? Pass the cantaloupe
becoming a ghost hunter - a story in two parts
BuzzFeed Unsolved True Crime | The Final Season | 06.18.2021
Would you break me out of prison?
Would you heist with your pals?
This took seven and a half hours today.
This is being taped, right?
You do have the vision.
Here’s my captain vibe.
The Disturbing Murders at Keddie Cabin • Buzzfeed Unsolved True Crime Season 2 Episode 9
do you tell ghost stories after sex?
Keddie forest post 2
Keddie forest post 1
"Here, let me throw you a bone."
is it you?
Is it annoying that I hold this pen? [pen 1]
Shane + fidgeting with a pen [pen 2]
Shane’s pen + Ryan [pen 3]
I would be CONCERNED if you DISAPPEARED
Watcher: Are You Scared?
What the fuck, dude. That’s the end of the story.
Describe fear to me.
Is it weird that I would love to get scared so bad I shit my pants?
Sometimes your surroundings become a little bit more aware of you.
Watcher: Weird (And/Or) Wonderful World with Shane (and Ryan)
WWW S1+2 Graphics Appreciation Post (Nametags)
Bloopers! Weird Wonderful Edition (S2)
Shane & Ryan Explore California's Quaintest Town • Weird Wonderful World Season 2 Episode 5
Shane & Ryan Explore California’s Quaintest Town
Shane & Ryan Visit A Secret Breakfast Club • Weird Wonderful World Season 2 Episode 4
I am history: Weird and/or Wonderful & Puppet History S4 crossover
Thank you for dressing like a professor with a secret.
Shane & Ryan Visit a Secret Breakfast Club + twitter video of juggling
You’re not a big breakfast guy.
Some people call me the big guy.
Shane & Ryan Are Bad At Roller Derby • Weird Wonderful World Season 2 Episode 3
Season 2 Trailer (skating edit)
Woes is awesome
More Woes skating
Shane & Ryan are [just fine] at Roller Derby
The jam has started!
You survived!
And someone in the stands could be like, I love you, Squatch!
You got it! You’ll do better than I did.
I love it, Ryan. I want you to know that I love it. [derby/TMS edit]
the roller derby rockstar fall really comes for you after a few drinks
Shane & Ryan Go Birdwatching • Weird Wonderful World Season 2 Episode 2
Nice try, bird boy.
My good friend Ryan Bird-gara
Why are you treating this like it’s a drug deal?
Shane & Ryan Visit A Soda Emporium • Weird Wonderful World Season 1 Episode 4
People love chocolate and grapes.
I guess I’m just a zany dude
It’s just a big ol’ pile of mess.
Shane & Ryan Ham It Up At A Shakespeare Theatre • Weird Wonderful World Season 1 Episode 3
The magic of theatre!
The wardrobe for this is thigh-highs
Look, all I’m sayin’ is - hey, love everybody. [Shane PSA 2]
The world of the theatre!
Shane & Ryan Eat Too Much Pie At The Pie Hole • Weird Wonderful World Season 1 Episode 2
Folks, the world is weird
Shane & Ryan Perform A Séance At The Mystic Museum • Weird Wonderful World Season 1 Episode 1
No Bones Bergara Sep 8 2020
Do - do good in this world. Don’t be hexin’ nobody. [Shane PSA 1]
Nametag graphics on S1 first 3 eps
S1 intros on S1 first 3 eps
WWW animated titles
even more nametag graphics
Nametags up through Roller Derby ep
Watcher: social media
Happy Pride from the entire Watcher Team!
The Bizarre Case Of Ivy Kay: Part 1 – Not Exactly Open and Shut Jul 26, 2021
Ryan Bergara and Shane Madej, Ghost Detectives
Walking the stairs, shoulder-to-shoulder
an assortment
important.
Watcher: Top 5 Beatdown
Travel Expert Ranks Top 5 US Cities • Top 5 Beatdown Season 2 Episode 2
Also, Denver, uh, so many prairie dogs.
Pastry Chef Ranks Top 5 Candy Bars • Top 5 Beatdown Season 2 Episode 1
And you’re muted, by the way. You’re muted!
Let’s mute - let’s mute Shane.
You got something to say there, big boy?
The anchor I felt in my chest
Did you - did you have some time to reflect, in the void there? I hope you did.
shane (fond)
Ryan: Still A Child
Watcher: Dish Granted
Bienvenidos a Tokyo
Watcher: Watcher Weekly
Favorite gestures
Watcher Weekly 032
Bloopers! Weird Wonderful Edition
Some people call me the big guy.
Watcher Weekly 030
shane (fond)
Watcher Weekly 016
The two moods of The Professor
Watcher Weekly 011
This is a midwestern thing, too - do you guys wave your hand when you say hi?
Watcher Weekly 010
Get back to work, Ryan
Because I coughed in his mouth. um.
How to spell mourning dove.
Enjoy.
Watcher Weekly 008
Um - a June bug! I’ve eaten a June bug.
Watcher Weekly 007
*eyebrow raise*
*smack*
I don’t ... know how dogs work.
*exuding cat man energy*
Watcher Weekly 004
Ryan Roast | Steven Sting | Shane Shade
Watcher: Here’s What You Do
I think I’m a creative person
Strange! Offputting!
Over the last year, I’ve really tried to stop people-pleasing
HWYD as an album cover
Sunglasses
Competing For Views W/ Shane Madej & Ryan Bergara - The TryPod Ep. 111 May 27, 2021
Look, when you're Superman, you don't care if anybody's tugging on your cape
Just give yourself a compliment for one time in your whole life
Paranormal bad boys, we’ve been called
Gifset
BTW, Shane moved a little
Keith Eats and Drinks Everything at Dunkin Donuts (The Try Guys)
I got puppets over there.
Gimme a coffee!
- and my little puppets!
Yeah! Fuck Ryan!
Watcher: Social Distancing and Dungeons & Dragons
I’m going to grab your skull and throw it across the room.
Everybody, roll for initiative!
Watcher: not a cult
nope
Am I Doing This Right (RIP)
Papa Shane. Daddy Garrett.
shrug.
BuzzFeed It’s Personal
Oklahoma... has a musical written about it
Nebraska: We got the most homes with indoor plumbing
BuzzFeed Debatable
There are two kinds of people in this world
BuzzFeed miscellany
People Eat Hot Dogs While Learning Gross Facts About Them • BuzzFeed Multiplayer Feb 3, 2017
What about you, new intern?
Don’t Tag Me (Brent and Shane)
BuzzFeed Ladylike We Styled Ryan and Shane
Katie LeBlanc in Fast Food Nacho Taste Test
Music Videos miscellany
Natalie Imbruglia - Torn
GIF Tutorial
An updating list of fonts
An updating list of software
HTML Color Codes - Color Picker
#ostensiblygif#directory#look I got lost trying to figure out which gifs I've actually made and which gifs I've only thought about making
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Still the haunted ruins of night call your name - Chapter 3
Fandoms: Steven Universe, Over the Garden Wall
Rating: G
Relationships: Wirt & Greg, Wirt & Steven, Minor Wirt/Sara
Characters: Wirt, Greg Universe, Steven Quartz Universe; MINOR - Marty, Sara, Lars Barriga, Sadie Miller, Cool Kids
Summary: Years after his little brother left, Wirt finally has the chance to make things right. Problem is, he has no idea if Greg wants him in his life again.
An OTGW x SU crossover AU. Partially compliant with Steven Universe Future.
Word count: 6.785
Quotev / Fanfiction
First chapter | Previous chapter
A/N: just noting that I’m posting my fanfics in this blog now, if you’re interested!
I’ll still post one more chapter, so I hope you’ve been enjoying the story so far! :)
--
Chapter 3: I could never be ready for this
“… are you sure you’re okay, Uncle Wirt?”
“I-I’m fine, Steven,” Wirt laughs through the rising butterflies in his stomach. He never liked the sensation. But a part of him warms up every time Steven calls him uncle. He barely met the kid, and yet Steven has readily accepted him as part of the family.
(But that could change, Wirt dreads.)
Steven is telling him a lot of things. Many things. Who the colored people are – gems from outer space, which means his suspicion was correct all along. Steven apparently lives with a few gems himself, and he tells him about Greg as well.
Greg has become a manager himself, guiding the band Sadie Killer and the Suspects. Wirt wasn’t really expecting it when Steven mentioned a tour, but… he’s happy and relieved to be honest, that Greg could find happiness in the world he loves so much.
But Steven eventually stops, because “you guys need to catch up!”. And Wirt, obviously, doesn’t have the heart to tell him what really happened. Greg never told Steven about Wirt’s existence in the first place, which, again, Wirt doesn’t berate him for.
The older DeMayo is still really scared, and each step he takes he wants to turn around and run back to his car and get back home like a loser. But he’s the Pilgrim, he notes: a Pilgrim must make their way in spite of the obstacles.
They’ve arrived in a parking lot near the car wash Wirt heard about, and there’s a van with tons of band equipment. A few young folks are chatting while grabbing some of the instruments; a group of four in particular are dressed up as if they’ve come from Thriller. Wirt assumes that must be the band. And Steven, of course, seems to be friends with everyone, as he walks up to the other youngsters. Much like Greg used to be.
Steven does remind Wirt a lot of his little brother, while he obviously recognizes his nephew as his own person. It’s so obvious his father is Greg, and it just gives Wirt the good old nostalgia he’s enamored with.
And well, of course Steven introduces his uncle to the other kids like the proud boy that he is.
“This is my Uncle Wirt! I just met him, and we’ve been having a blast,” Steven grins.
“Hi,” the ‘Suspects’ say collectively. One of them, wearing reflective glasses, mention “I think that’s the first time you don’t introduce an alien to us. Which is cool, though. Aliens are cool.”
Steven laughs. “Humans seem more alien to me than real aliens.” Something about the comment makes Wirt frown, but Steven drops it, “But anyway, where’s Dad?”
“He’s in the back with Sunshine Justice,” the blond girl points at the van behind them. “Planning our next show in Empire City.”
“Fancyyy,” Steven finger-guns. “Alright, we’ll talk to you later! Dad is gonna be so surprised with Uncle Wirt he might choke out of joy!”
“Hahahahaha!” Wirt laughs hysterically, “Hahahaha. Hahaha… ha.”
He probably forgets he’s an adult at all, being stared at by a bunch of kids.
“See ya!” Steven waves them goodbye, grabbing Wirt by his hand as his uncle doesn’t dare move.
As they get closer to the van – Greg’s Mr. Universe van –, Wirt already sees two figures inside, one a woman with colored and quite vibrant hair, and the other…
“I-I can’t do this.”
“Huh?”
Wirt breaks free from Steven’s excited grip, his arms protecting his sick stomach, the three espressos catching up with him.
“I’m sorry, I can’t. I just—” Wirt groans, “I can’t.”
“Why not? You came here to see Dad, didn’t you?”
“Yes, but…”
“But?”
Wirt looks away from Steven’s puppy eyes (God, he loves this kid so much already, but he doesn’t deserve him. And he definitely doesn’t deserve Greg), but he gives up.
“Look, Steven…” Wirt gulps, “I-I wasn’t… a good brother to Greg. I wasn’t, and- I tried to be good, but I failed him. I failed him really badly.” He pauses. “That’s why I never showed up in all these years, he didn’t want me to find him. A-And I don’t blame him, really! Maybe he doesn’t want his stupid, idiotic big brother showing up in his life again like nothing happened. He has an entire life without me, I don’t want to ruin any of it. I just…”
He doesn’t even know what he’s saying anymore, so Wirt quiets down and stares at the two figures in the van. He only sees the back of the man talking to the woman with sunglasses. The man is laughing and smiling even if Wirt can’t see it.
“… He doesn’t need me,” Wirt faces and whispers, “but I need him.” He takes a deep breath before his eyes betray him. “I’m sorry.”
“Wait, Uncle Wirt—”
Wirt has no idea what Steven would say next, because immediately after…
“Hey, sch-tuball! I brought you some souvenirs. There’s this amazing waffle brownie we’ve gotta… try…”
The silence that follows is as deafening as when Greg’s heart broke at his own brother’s words. An old and familiar silence that haunts Wirt since that day.
Steven eyes them both, confused.
“Uhhhh, look, Dad! Special guest!” He tries to return the surprise act, but the boy’s sweating and laughing awkwardly.
The jaw-dropped man almost comedically drops the bags he was going to give Steven, and he only says one word:
“Wirt ?”
Wirt shivers.
“Greg…”
His little brother is not so little anymore. Time surely made a difference. Greg is gradually becoming bald, and his once long brown hair has been cut short. Regardless, it’s still rebellious like Greg always was, and he’s wearing such… “dad” attires – t-shirt, sandals, obvious sunburns – that Wirt almost doesn’t recognize him. Even then, Greg wears ripped short jeans like the ones he had when he was leaving.
Wirt is happy, right? That his little brother is safe and happy and has his own loving family?
Then why is he…
“G-Greg, I…” he sniffs. Oh no, he’s not making a tear-jerking mess right now. No. Stop it. You’re the Pilgrim. Stop it.
But no, he’s just a coward. Has always been.
“Greg, I-I’m so sorry,” Wirt manages. “I’m- I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you, I’m sorry I d-didn’t protect you, I said all those awful things and I let you go without any support… I just- judged you like they did, I…”
At this point, Wirt is a mess while Greg is completely composed. You might think Greg is the reasonable older brother, but oh would you be so wrong. Why else would the Edelwood pick Wirt to perish?
“Y-You have every right to be mad at me, Greg, I won’t stop you. I don’t blame you for anything. I just wanted you to know that,” Wirt sobs. “I… I’m s-so glad you’re okay, and you have such a brilliant and lovable kid right here, a-and I’m really proud he’s my nephew and you’re my brother. I’m so happy for you.” Wirt tries to smile but he’s never been good at it. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Greg.”
Wirt is not even able to dry his tears and quit the act, because well, he’s being honest. He’s always been terrified of everything, and Greg was never once afraid. He wasn’t even afraid of the Beast. Greg traded his own life to save his brother from the Unknown, and Wirt, Wirt lost Greg and would’ve never seen him again. And even then, he still managed to lose Greg again because he’s a coward, he’s a fraud.
He should go. Really, he should get away from here. At the very least he knows Greg is okay.
Wirt feels a hand on his shoulder though, and he assumes it’s Steven because the kid has such a big heart even for his pathetic uncle, but as it turns out it’s Greg and he’s smiling and his own eyes are filled with tears. But the younger DeMayo – Universe, Wirt corrects – doesn’t say anything.
Yet… the silence tells him the truth.
I’m glad you’re here.
I missed you, too.
Oh, goodness.
In an all Steven fashion, Wirt hugs his brother the tightest he can, swearing he won’t let him go again. Greg pats him and sighs, satisfied, smiling on Wirt’s shoulder. Wirt just can’t help caressing Greg’s short hair while his own gray strands smell coffee and tears and regret.
The fight is over.
Finally, finally over.
--
Next chapter
#over the garden wall#steven universe#wirt#otgw wirt#steven quartz universe#greg universe#crossovers#alternate universe#fanfiction#long post
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I was tagged by @elven-ink aaaaa thANK YOUUUU!! <333
Rules: name ten favorite characters from ten different things (tv, movies, books, etc.), then tag ten some people.
Ooooh boy this is gonna be tough I have.... a lot of faves bUT HERE WE GO
1. Joker (from all media but some faves are Telltale and Gotham asdhasj)
An awful lad!! A terrible boi, an all time fave!! Chaotic and fun, he’s the worst clown and I love him. I started loving him when I was 11 after watching the Dark Knight and kinda forgot about him and then learned in college how fun the animated/game/comic versions of him are sdfhsdjf,,, He holds a special place in my heart because I met some of the best people in my life through this mutual interest!
2. Handsome Jack (Borderlands series)
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT??? Another awful and terrible lad, it’s debatable that he is worse than Joker. I have a type of fave chara, obviously. I would not want to meet him. Ever. I love him. I think just.... his voice??? The rambles he go on that are just so fun and silly despite the absolute malice behind him or the horrible things he’s saying?? IT’S SO,,, AASHDAJ ALSO HIS HERO COMPLEX.. AWFUL
3. Spinel (Steven Universe)
Ah, finally someone I would want to meet. Also terrible but she’s doing her best and means well!! Please let me give her a hug. She’s toony and silly and I would die for her as quickly as I’d let her kill me. Her animation in the movie is ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING LIKE OH MY GOD. Also her voice and songs are just... chef kissu,,
4. Jack Spicer (Xiaolin Showdown)
hAHAHAHAHA ÑERD! ! ! SUCH A ÑERD!! DON’T BELIEVE PEOPLE THAT SAY HE’S COOL HE AIN’T!! But he is genuinely very smart in terms of robotics despite his lack of street smarts and struggle in interacting with anyone ever and honestly??? I love him so much and want to be his friend. He’s an original fave!
5. Princess Peach (Nintendo)
Ooooh! ! ! OH MY GOD AN ANGEL!! I L O V E HER SHE’S PRETTY AND SOFT AND I WOULD LIKE HER TO BE MY WIFE PLEASE??? She’s my go to in any game where she is a playable character and I love when they give her a sassy and incredibly strong-willed personality like in the first Super Paper Mario game I played ;o;
6.Sir Pentious (Hazbin Hotel)
OH ANOTHER AWFUL TERRIBLE BOI??? I love him but god he’s such a loser. That makes me love him more. He’s got Saturday morning cartoon villain vibes but unlike them he can say “fried chicken fetuses” so like,,, y’know. Love that. ALSO HIS DESIGN!! HE SNEK!! HE SMILEY!! SHORP TEEF!! MANY EYES!! EVOL BABEY.
7. Medic (TF2)
AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL TERRIBLE BOIS ALL OVER. HAHAHAHAHA Medic is a pure agent of chaos, I am honestly surprised he lost his medical licence due to the fact that it seems impossible that he would ever get it in the first place. He likes to challenge the laws of nature and radiate evol vibes while also wanting to protecc his team... him..
8. Entrapta (She-Ra)
oooOOOH GOD AAAAAAA SHE,,, What an absolute sweetheart!! She’s eccentric and doesn’t quite know how read the room but she has such a pure heart underneath her seemingly blinding pursuit of scientific discovery. She’s like the evol scientist archetype I love without the evol (despite working for the villains side bUT LIKE... IT’S CO MPL IC A T ED). Also her hair is cool.. love her.. also she loves tiny food??? Cute...
9. Lord Death (Soul Eater)
ANOTHER OLD TIME FAVE FROM MY MIDDLE SCHOOL DAYS! I love Kid equally but like... idk I just always think of Death first cause his design is so MEMORABLE AND FUN. I love characters that look goofy but can and will kill you. And also he loves his son and his school and his students and his son SO HECKIN MUCH I LOVELVOLEOVE
10. Father (Kids Next Door)
MORE OLD FAVES!!! MORE AWFUL BOIS!! I always loved him for his design but after the Operation Zero movie came out and we learned his backstory and what he looks like outside of his fire... uh??? Suit??? HE QUICKLY BECAME A FAVE... IDK LIKE THE... THE ÑERD LOOK.... THE VILLAIN THAT JUST WANTS APPROVAL?? THE RELATION TO THE HERO?? LOVE IT ALL. EXCELLENT. TOP NOTCH CONTENT.
uHHHH I TAG UHHHH @clownmoontoon @trashiny @bellandpebbles @alpacasandravens @bubble-beetle IF U WANT!! aND ANYONE ELSE! ! WHO WANTS TO DSGASGDHJ
#soRRY I TALK SO MUCH I DONT EVEN THONK... IM SUPPOSED TO WRITE ABOUT EM FOR THIS#tag game#I HAVE SO MANY FAVES THESE ARE JUST THE FIRST THAT POPPED UP IN MY M IN D#joker#spinel#sir pentious#knd father#lord death#entrapta#princess peach#jack spicer#handsome jack#tf2 medic
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Could you spill the tea on lapiven? (I feel it doesn’t get enough attention)
hahahahaha has spilling the tea just become my calling in life now
I can tell you right now I can’t really do this ship justice. Because I actually don’t ship Steven and Lapis.
Of course, I’m cool with anyone who does. And I’ll even admit that of all her options, Steven is probably one of the healthiest candidates for Lapis to foster a deeper relationship with.
I can totally see where the appeal lies in Lapiven. Steven was the one who liberated Lapis from that mirror his own family hoarded away for millennia, and he managed to repair Lapis’ gemstone.
So Steven is basically single-handedly responsible for giving Lapis her life back.
Kinda scary when one considers how easily Lapis could have never been recovered from the mirror and just remained trapped in that and Pearl’s storage space for lord knows how long.
And of course, Steven went out of his way to help Lapis despite her nearly drowning him and Connie, as well as fucking over the Earth by stealing the ocean early on. Always a compelling element in the shipping.
I would say it’s a bit of a misstep that Lapis interacted only with Steven and Peridot (and in the case of the latter, she only did that because Steven wanted her to); in contrast to Peridot, Lapis felt very disconnected from the rest of the cast and sat out a lot of events where she easily could have played a role.
I mean, to be fair, Lapis had valid reasons to not affiliate herself with the Crystal Gems. They’re kinda responsible for her wrongful imprisonment, after all.
But compare her to Peridot, who went out of her way to get to know everyone and Earth itself. While Peridot had a very involved development arc that persisted even after her official redemption, Lapis just languished in the background while keeping to herself. Not exactly engaging and certainly not making her more endearing, you know?
Really, the breaking point for me is Raising the Barn. I’m one of those people who believes Lapis was genuinely a piece of shit in that episode, and I’m very annoyed to this day that she never had to answer for that when she came back.
After all, Lapis’ actions didn’t just hurt Peridot - she hurt Steven, too.
She basically left Steven, Peridot, and everyone else to die; there’s no two ways about that.
Yeah, she felt bad about doing it, but even after Steven found Lapis hiding out on the moon and a heartfelt talk, Lapis still wouldn’t budge on her “Screw this, I’m outta here” agenda.
Yes, Lapis did eventually return in Reunion in a badass fashion and officially declared herself a Crystal Gem at long last, buuuuut....
This reasoning really rubbed me the wrong way. It’s valid and logical, but it’s also easily interpreted as Lapis only deciding to return to Earth and stand by her alleged friends when she realized there was no goddamn way she’d ever be welcomed back anywhere else.
Just sayin’, this worked waaaaaay better when Peridot had an opportunity to return to Homeworld and still be in good graces with Yellow Diamond - only for her to throw that away because she would not sell out the Crystal Gems.
Basically, Lapis’ return and formal alignment felt like one of convenience, rather than the genuine change of heart we saw Peridot experience.
Considering this major misstep in Lapis’ character was never addressed/revisited after her return in Reunion, needless to say I was heavily annoyed that Lapis was basically going to get away with being an asshole who broke Steven’s and Peridot’s hearts in the process. She was willing to leave them to die. I just can’t in all good conscience say that Lapis is worthy of Steven’s love after all that.
Maybe if they properly addressed this later on, I’d be more lenient, but I think we all know there’s a high likelihood Lapis would somehow be completely absolved of all blame in that incident, because god forbid we have assholes who just stay assholes in this show (y’know, outside of strawmen like Kevin, Eyeball, and Aquamarine).
That being said, Why So Blue? was one of the better episodes of Future. Nowhere near the leagues of In Dreams, but I do appreciate it for being an episode that actually focuses on Lapis (without any involvement from Peridot).
I also like that it’s one of the very few SUF episodes that has Steven actually act like himself, rather than have him dwell on how fucked-up he is. He and Lapis had some genuinely good interaction in this episode - I appreciated Lapis bringing up regrets over the death and destruction she caused as a terraformer (that for once I’m not blaming her for because that was literally her job in a do-or-die society). And I like that they’re self-aware enough to acknowledge that Lapis isn’t exactly the most pleasant gem to be around.
In the end, I won’t deny this: Steven brings out the best in Lapis. That’s reason enough to ship them.
Kinda by default since she really only ever interacted with Peridot beyond him (and THAT relationship is a hot toxic mess, I do NOT care how popular it is), but it is what it is.
Lapiven is a very niche ship, but in a way that’s a blessing in disguise, as I’m pretty sure that’s spared them the wrath of the moronic antis. Still, I sympathize with your relatively small fanbase.
Even though I don’t ship it myself, I’ll always defend your right to to so yourself, if you so choose.
I’ll give Lapiven this much: I’d ship it over Connverse every single time.
#answered asks#nice anons#lapiven#stapis#steven universe#lapis lazuli#su lapis#shipping#spill the tea#steven x gem ships#kinda got critical on this one#but I'm sorry#I just can't excuse lapis' bullshit#at least it's not a ship that I strongly oppose#just one I can't fully support#unless lapis gets her shit togther#which won't happen now that the show's over#still....#make more lapiven content!#I'd still gladly take that over fucking connverse and lapidot
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thank you for the tag @northernfieldsforever 💗💞
do you make your bed? yea every morning. i sleep all over the place so my bed gets pretty messy.
what’s your favourite number? i have a few, 4 just randomly picked when i was four years old and decided yes, im worthy. but 8 was there for a while because im born in the eighth month and i thought it was significant that it was steven gerrard’s back when he was still on the team, same goes for 15, born on the fifteenth and was obsessed with daniel sturridge, would even do his little arm thing. the numbers have stayed, the reasons not so much anymore, now its just cause im self obsessed so my birthday is reason enough.
what’s your job? a bitch is unemployed. had a job interview the day the virus broke out and wasnt allowed (by the govt cause mandatory lockdown) to go to it and have not had any luck with any others since then.
can you parallel park? bitch can i drive?? nope.. i was meant to set a date for my learner’s test last month but the fkn world went on hold. so hopefully we’ll get there when this is all over.
a job you’ve had which would surprise people? oh, i’ve had a lot of jobs hostessing for events, mostly night clubs but also other sponsored events. and on just one occasion handed out fliers for huaweii’s new phone release.
do you think aliens are real? ofc, i know i radiate a level of arrogance but i hardly think we’re the only ones out here. theres gotta be some life somewhere else.
can you drive a manual? a bitch still cannot drive. but im learning stick shift rather than automatic because ive had a hard life so im not suddenly gonna give it to myself easy. jk. it’s cause my mother’s car is a manual so i’d have to learn on there itself.
what’s your guilty pleasure? nothing that brings me pleasure is guilty. i will ride that train till i die. i’ve shunned myself too much in my life for doing things i love, it think ive reached a point where i do not give a fuck.
tattoos? i dont have any! but i want to get one this year, then hopefully a bunch of others after it.
favourite colour? blue, black, green. aka the only colours found in my wardrobe.
things people do that drive you crazy? um,, exist? jk. i hate people who assume shit, thinking they know even a fraction of anything and pass judgement based on said things. truly. stay in your lanes, it’ll piss us all off a lot less.
any phobias? cockroaches knkmhlmlg i hate eemmmmm. but also the usuals, abandonment, rejection, bugs?
favourite childhood sport? omg i have so many i loved. mostly football. but i also loved swimming, tennis, netball, badminton. ugh i miss the outside.
do you talk to yourself? yea, sometimes you just gotta be comfortable in your own company
what movies do you adore? horror, thrillers, psychological thrillers or dramas.
do you like puzzles? yea all kinds. i love challenging myself.
favourite kind of music? hahahahaha a LOT of kinds. mostly alternative, rock, indie, folk.
tea or coffee? tea slut, all kinds of tea. my usual is a local vanilla brand but i love a good english breakfast or green tea. infusions are great as well. rn ive been loving some peppermint tea.
what’s the first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? i’ve had a few. archaeologist, surgeon, forensic scientist, writer. all of which are still really fascinating to me though i would not pursue surgeon or forensic scientist in this lifetime.
im tagging @thelandofnothing, @yanak324, @ollie-19, @livhatesolives
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Live blog of Steven Universe: The Movie
This is a long (ish) post
16 years old and still wearing sandals with jeans go off steven
The diamonds are needy asf man JEEZ
STEVEN GOT A KISSY KISS OOOH
Lapis n Peridot n Bismuth are the best trio idc
Where my Lapidot content tho, HUH?
Okay so Ruby and Sapphire are still insanely cute
I LOVE SADIE KILLER AND THE SUSPECTS BEST ROCK BAND
Amethyst LITERALLY CALLED ROSE THE LOVE OF PEARLS LIFE WE STAN AHAHA
SHE TURNED INTO ROSE OMG I CANNOT AHH IM SCREAMINGGGGG
AND IT DIDN'T WORK
OMGGG HE FUSED W GREG WHAT WHAT WHAT
SING IT PEARL FUCK BEING OBEDIENT
OPALLL YASSSS
THEY ALL FLYING N SHIT
Spinny is gettin sad now HahahaHAHA
Okay wowowow Steven looks a BIT bad nono
Spinel u better not hurt ma boy or i will fight u
Why is everyone in love with pink smh stg
Spinny's getting another song oof and it's a sad one ouch
Okay so ARE U SAYING SHE STOOD THERE FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS OMGG THAT'S ACTUALLY PEAK
PINK THAT'S NOT VERY NICEE
Wowoh my poor heart ahhHH
Steven being like "well actually I can believe that" is just LMAOO he knows his mum was a bit of a dickwad
YEAH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAKE NEW FRIENDS SPINEL YOU LONELY FUCKER
Garnet playing with a spork is a mood man LOLLL
Connie is so unchill lmaooo
MY GUY GREG DIDN'T WASH HIS HANDS HAHAHA
LAPISSSSSSSSSSS WE STAN EVERYTHING THAT COMES OUT OF HER MOUTH
Oh fuck is Spinel gonna go crazy again, oh my lord she has abandonment issues
Literally Steven had no plan at all he's sixteen jesus he's constantly overestimated
Garnet is so dumb now wowoW
My bitch has some problems man
YES GARNET'S SONG AHHHHHHHHHHHH
THE RINGS ARE SO CUTE
Pearl just waking over like "I'm tired pls give me affection"
Spinny is literally a slinky man wtf
Also WOW OKAY JUST END THE WORLD THEN
Steven always tryna solve shit w the power of love smhh
They SAVED THE KITTEN AWWW
Greg's gonna lose his arm ISN'T HE smh
Connie is so badass wow
She's just like, "my bf is on a big injector help"
Also how is he climbing that it looks like glass man
She's lost it man she went batshit woah
wow Steven with the outrage jeez man poor guy what's he missing
The POWER TO CHANGE LETS GO BABYYY
No u just showing off
STVEN SONG OOH
Omg she's a Beyblade LMAO
Um rude ofc he can make things better with a song man
Damn this whole movie is just Spinelle having a mental breakdown tbh
"I'll always have more work to do" DAMN STRAIGHT
Omg these two are so cute blushing all the time wow stan
GREG DIDN'T LOSE HIS ARM YAY
amethyst's jokes are too much
Garnet saying, "we should probably get him some water, staying hydrated is very important when it comes to smooching" LITERALLY MADE ME PAUSE IT A LAUGH SO HARD AHHHH
omg the Diamonds... couldn't they have come EARLIER LMAOOO
White is so impatient hahaha
They are actually children oml
Yellow's sense of humour has me absolutely baffled haahhaahHA
White being like "since the earth is so disgusting" HAHAHAHA
Pearl looks horrified at the diamonds song and Garnet is literally the embodiment of smh
Iconic trio oml
Lion is SO CUTE
my fav married couple (after Ruby and Sapphire) doing tricks for the kiddos ah yeS
THEIR SUITS OMG I'M IN LOVE
ITS OVER NO S6 PLEASE!!
Those where my batshit reactions to the SU movie, I hope at least one person got enjoyment out if it.
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i want to talk about good omens a bit while i'm here, just because i'm not lin, who gets way too emotional about it.
we first read the book when we were, i believe, 16 or 17 - so, long before we had the resources to recognise its problematic aspects. i know these days it's commonplace for teenagers to be just as well-informed about social justice matters as we became somewhere between 22 and 28, but this was a different time. not even our english was very good yet, and yes, we did read it in english. you can look up words, but connotations will go straight over your head.
therefore, our memories of the book are of course much more positive than it perhaps deserves. which is fine. we understand that people who are more directly affected by some of the types of bigotry displayed in it do not need special knowledge in order to recognise it. there are, of course, also things in there that we ARE directly affected by that still went over our head. like i said: we were young.
we did reread it several times, but not within the last decade i think? certainly not in the last 7 years. only the first chapter, once or twice.
tumblr has pretty much brought us up to date on what's wrong with it (some of it we also vaguely remember), and my impression is that a few things were fixed in the show but not nearly enough of them, while it also introduced several new problems. it's like, thanks for trying but u failed [finger guns] (we feel that way about star trek on a regular basis)
still, we enjoyed it. and not only for sentimental reasons.
it's hard to be a fan of things once you understand a little of how the world works, sometimes. we've decided not to watch the tv adaption of american gods, another book we read and loved in our teens, in part because we're tired of neil straightman's behaviour on the online and in part because we've heard it's racist in ways that go beyond what was in the book. knowing those things in advance makes you want to not even bother.
we weren't warned about good omens. maybe that's for the best.
there's no denying that it has had a great impact on our ace and/or aro headmates, especially lin. to them, it's not about aroace representation - it's about queerplatonic love representation. which they'd never, ever, not even once in our life, seen represented on screen or in text. you might say, but sir, how do you know it's queerplatonic when they never said the word?
HAHAHAHAHA. the majority of people experiencing queerplatonic love irl don't say the word, either. many don't even know the word. and i think we can all agree that it would have been wildly out of character for crowley and aziraphale to sit down and have a "what are we" conversation. come on! they only just managed to admit to themselves that they love humanity, let's not be hasty!
that's one thing i love about this story, too - not just lin, me. probably most of us. but especially lin. the sheer scale of it; how slowly everything moves until the start of the almost-apocalypse (and it's amazing that the pacing of their relationship comes across as super chill although we're hearing about it while the main plot is literally on a timer)
does anyone get what i'm talking about? any fellow lovers of this aspect of good omens? and was anyone else relieved as fuck they didn't make them explicitly gay on the show because then people like lin would never have experienced that wonderful feeling of validation?!
on our twitter timeline, people are always saying we should stop looking to mainstream media for representation and read more indie novels, but a) sometimes you just don't have the spoons to read a book and b) we've yet to come across anything like terry pratchett's humour in an indie novel tbh. we've never come across anything like steven universe, period. you have to take what you can get. even if it's flawed.
(that said, please do recommend indie novels that are as funny as good omens and/or feature queerplatonic relationships in fantastic/supernatural settings)
there is so much out there and yet in the end, the things we end up really loving are always flawed mainstream works. it's a goddamn curse.
#i'm not entirely sure who i am which is funny considering how many opinions i just started emphatically#maybe i'm a fusion ... quinn and ellis? quinn and logan? who knoe#ok i just had the urge to add ''my man'' to the end of that sentence so logan is probably involved here yes#thinky thoughts#or something#edit: oh my gods am i logan and ellis??? that's gay
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My thoughts on the novelization of the Kim Possible movie! Minor spoilers.
Okay, so I caved and bought a digital copy of the live action Kim Possible movie novelization and, uh... I have some thoughts. Continue reading for some general information and my opinion on the overall vibe. Nothing toooo spoiler-y or deep. Well, I get deep with my analysis... but I’m not analyzing anything too big. Just minor things and lines that aren’t important to the storyline but can give you a pretty good idea of what the movie will be like. There are no details that I would consider major or huge plot points in this post. If you’ve seen all of the trailers/sneak peeks and are familiar with the film’s summary, you should be alright. Basically, keep reading if you want to know what to mentally prepare yourself for lol.
Right off the bat, all I’m gonna say is that judging from the dialogue alone -- it’s definitely geared towards kids. Young kids. I don’t think teenagers will think this is cool. Just as I feared, there’s cheesy use of social media (selfies, live-streaming, youtube) and annoying 2010s slang (“shook” “fam” “kthanksbye,” etc.) I don’t understand why they feel the need to throw in stuff like that to make it ~current~??? It just makes it feel awkward and trying too hard to be relatable. I think keeping it relatively timeless and omitting slang and selfies would’ve been the better option for a live action adaptation of something as iconic as Kim Possible. There’s already enough technology with her freaking holographic Kimmunicator and gadgets! haha. It’s 2019. We all know that smartphones are a thing. They’re normalized now. You don’t need to shove it in our face, haha. I mean, Kim said some dated slang in the cartoon and flip phones were prominent... but it’s a cartoon. It works. With live action, it gets a little dicey. You want these characters to feel like people who talk like real people, ya know?!
Something that made me cringe beyond belief is the first scene at Bueno Nacho. Athena named her dog “Ron Stop-pit-bull” (I kid you not) so Ron says something about wanting to be a freaking dog when he grows up??? So Athena and Ron literally proceed to woof like dogs and break into laughter about it......??? I have no idea how that’s not gonna be cringeworthy on screen. I wanted to die just from reading it. Some people assumed this photo from J-14 magazine was behind the scenes, but it does in fact happen in the movie:
One thing that sorta rubbed me the wrong way is that they talk about Kim and Ron being famous heroes on the news and everything a liiiiittle too much. Athena being a superfan of Kim and Ron kinda goes along with that and could potentially feel a little overkill. The morons who think that Kim had a secret identity are gonna have a field day with that lol. Ugh.
The holographic Kimmunicator is a really cool update for this generation since the original one was essentially a smartphone with FaceTime and wouldn’t be nearly has forward thinking as it was in 2002. Towards the end of the KP series it was updated to a wristwatch, among a few other different designs (but a wristwatch also wouldn’t be forward thinking today thanks to Apple Watches) and now it’s a necklace. I like that!
The only issue is that it’s not very discreet. Wade pops up a lot throughout the movie and as we saw in the sneak peek, the hologram is pretty huge. I hope the size can vary or something? Because that could be weird when Wade beeps Kim at school and stuff. It was handy when cartoon Kim could casually whip out the handheld, open her locker and talk to Wade on the computer, or glance at her wrist. Not sure how this is gonna fly in other situations:
Also, this sneak peek makes more sense in context. I figured it would. People are seriously overreacting. They portray Kim as a perfectionist and she desperately wants to be on time for her first day of high school. It’s not “WHY is Kim using her gadgets and Wade’s help for an every day situation?!?! UGHH” like people are complaining about. It makes sense to me. It’s cute! That barrel roll is still completely unnecessary though, hahahahaha. But, I’m embracing the random stunts like that. I think it’s hysterical.
I know a lot of people (myself included) were upset about Kim not being a cheerleader, but she actually is! Or at least, she was...? And is still interested in cheer at the beginning of the movie. So that’s nice! Kim being a cheerleader was necessary on the show because it helped us make sense of all her flips and kicks and such during missions. It’s a really important part of her character so I was sooo happy to see that it wasn’t completely erased!
I still want to be surprised by the movie, so I just skimmed it and skipped a lot of pages. But yeaaaah. That’s the general gist of it. I feel like I’ve read enough to know that I should keep my expectations lower than I originally planned. This doesn’t mean the movie is going to be terrible or anything. The junior novelizations usually leave out a lot of things (the book felt extremely short? Granted, I skipped a lot.. but yeah) and the whole story is written in a way that’s cheesy and simple for little kids to read. Like, I’m not gonna lie. I was pretty much cringing non-stop. I have a junior novelization of The Even Stevens Movie and it’s cringy as HECK. They even changed some of the dialogue for whatever reason! But the movie isn’t nearly as cringy and is clearly a campy self-aware flick once you watch it. I’m hoping KP will be the same way.
I can’t help but worry that it’ll translate to screen as suuuuper lame though. Let’s hope the actors can pull it off convincingly. I want to love Ron (I stand by my word that Sean Giambrone is the perfect choice) but he’s seeming a little too dumb at points, overly kid friendly and hunky dory! Like a literal human cartoon. He trips over his shoelaces and falls victim to other clichés like that. Some of the lines he has are... oh boy. [i.e. *sees a giant statue of a brain* “WOW! I didn’t know brains were so big! How do they fit in our heads?!” -- An actual Ron Stoppable quote.] In a cartoon, a line like that works. But live action? Ehhh. It all depends on Sean’s delivery though, and I have faith in him but... dang, he has some awkward dialogue to work with.
I’m a huge fan of The Goldbergs, so Ron is the main thing I’m excited about if I’m being totally honest. I will say, the first two chapters are the only parts I read fully (since they were the free sample) and I liked it. It’s action packed and fun. We’ve actually seen a lot of it in the trailers already so if you wanna read it, it doesn’t spoil too much at all. Ron’s grand entrance is cute and wacky and I actually smiled really hard while reading and picturing it. :)
I’m not a big fan of how Rufus is introduced. They made a major change and it kinda genuinely upset me. But, I will say.. they at least give us an explanation for why Rufus is so smart and aware. That’s kinda cool, since in a 2d cartoon you don’t need to question why a naked mole rat can talk and point and help Kim and Ron lol. I’m horrified of how the CGI will look in action though. From the one photo we’ve seen, he looks kinda terrifying imo:
I’ve said before that instead of attempting to go for a ~realistic~ feel, they might’ve been better off keeping 2d animated Rufus and having a vibe similar to Space Jam lol. I mean, Kim Possible is a cartoon that makes no logical since in real life so I don’t think that would’ve hurt. Or maybe I’m just sad because 2d Rufus is sooo adorable. I’m gonna miss him so much.
EDIT: They’ve officially released some footage of Rufus in action and he looks waaaaaay better than I expected! Yay!
As everyone has predicted, from the few parts I read.. Drakken and Shego seem awesome and on point! Pretty funny as well. I don’t have any complaints about them. Rest assured, Shego delivers her sarcastic remarks a ton. I actually laughed out loud at one of them omg. From what we’ve seen, Todd is doing a fantastic Drakken and Taylor has great deadpan delivery. I have a feeling they might steal the show tbh!
So, yeah. Make of this what you will!
I’m still really excited for the movie, but I’m relieved to have my expectations in check now.
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Today, I was thinking "Hey, If I fuse with my sister just like Steven Universe, what's gonna be the name of our fusion ?" so, I ask her and she say "Double-Shit." HAAAAAHAHA SHE MAKE ME LAUGH SO HARD, I LOVE HER SO MUCH HAHAHAHAHA 😂😂😂
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Pretty sure they’re the fry guys now:
honey no, no rap
adam just turning the cam, he ain’t havin it either
damn the sexy guitar (from the preview on insta) isn’t even in the actual episode?? wtf??
andrew ordered him a drink!!!! UwU
“my new favorite thing is when we say things at the same time” “alright ready?”
“potato!”
“fffff-riendship”
me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
thats the first time andrew said they were friends D:
THIS IS WHERE EM @poiregourmande MET THEM AH!!
AH I LOVE WHEN STEVEN LOOKS LIKE A YOUTH AND ANDREW LOOKS LIKE AN OLD MAN
“he sounded like ratatouille” HAHAHAH
“The Heartattack” IM SORRY???
they eat.... so much already.... imm CONCERNED
im gonna vomit omg this is too much
HAHAHAHAHA IM CRYING POUTINE: UNSOLVED
DUN DUN, DUN DUN ADAM (the true cryptid)
WIGGLY STEVEN HE SO CUTE GODDAMN IT
they were so delirious with all the fries they had omg i cant
this was cute too cute
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About Me
I was tagged by @elfrooted a while back, and I’m like... really bad at remembering to do these, so here it is:
rules : answer 30 questions then tag some people you’d like to get to know better.
Gender: female/nonbinary, primarily she/her pronouns, though they/them work as well
Nickname: Cass, Angel, O Almighty Dungeon Master, Inquisitor, Rio
Zodiac : Gemini
Height : 5′9″ ish
Time : About 3:50 pm
Favorite bands / soloists : Panic~ at the Disco, Voltaire, Emilie Autumn, Ani DiFranco...
Song stuck in my head : HAPPY WORKING SONG FROM FUCKING ENCHANTED SOMEONE SHOOT ME
Last movie I saw : Part of Little Evil, of I should finish that!
Any other blogs: I run a few, including @dragonmallows which has mostly just my artwork, and a few others but I don’t update often so I won’t mention them.
Do I get asks: Hahahahaha... Sometimes, not often.
Why my username : My original username when I started was about my art studio, and then I played Dragon Age: Inquisition, and I started writing a fic (Her Destiny Lies Elsewhere) featuring my elf, Rio.
Last thing I googled : “Does an elf trancing take place of a long rest or do they still need to rest?” (Answer, yes, elves don’t need to sleep for the full 8 hours but they do need to chill for at least 8 hours to count it as a long rest--I am a new-ish DM and I’ve literally only been doing this for like a year now)
Following: 220 blogs. A bunch are probably inactive but I’m lazy....
How many hours of sleep : Honestly, the only one keeping track is my fitbit and I’m about 30% sure that’s not very acurate.
What am I wearing : Yoga pants and a tanktop.
Do I play any instruments : Nope, I grew up in a poor household and by the time I expressed an interest in learning an instrument, I was told by the educators that I was about 7 years too late and that I’d best try to do something else.
Learning any languages : Trying to learn Spanish, I’m a painfully slow learner for speaking, I can read better than I can speak it 99% of the time.
Favorite shows : Voltron, Steven Universe, Westworld for the most part, really liking Naruto (and anyone that feels like making fun of me for that can fight me)
Dream job: Writer/illustrator.
Favorite color : Deep rich red, and purple, but not like Puuuuuurple-purple, but like puuurple-purple, you feel me?
Favorite song : Here Comes a Thought, Emperor’s New Clothes, Fight Song, and World on Fire.
How many animals : two, an almost-eleven year old Chihuahua-terrier mix and a two year old hedgehog. Their names are Sweeney Todd (SCOURGE OF THE UPSTAIRS BATHTUB) and Crowley (Lord of the Underworld).
Do I play any video games : SO MANY. Until Dawn is still a favorite (I��m putting together a game module for a few people that wanted to play the Until Dawn campaign I wrote), though I also love Horizon Zero Dawn, Breath of the Wild, Left 4 Dead 2, Skyrim (so much Skyrim), Persona 5 was awesome, Assassin’s Creed, any of the Pokemon games (I want to play Detective Pikachu so bad)...
Favorite video game : Until Dawn. (I just really like Wendigos okay?)
What hair color do I have : Dark brown/purple at the moment.
What grade am I in : Not in school
Am I morn person : I just tried to be a morning person for four months straight, and all I can say is how do people not end up shrivelled bitter husks from getting up so early? Or is that maybe the reason WHY people are boring, bigoted shriveled up husks, because they have to get up so early?
Where do I like to travel : To my girlfriend’s arms in San Bernadino California. Once I’m there, I’m pretty flexible.
Siblings : I have three brothers and one sister, plus a slew of friends that I have adopted into my little chosen family. You guys are stuck with me for life, I’m sorry, I don’t make up the rules. Family don’t end in blood.
Favorite food : So many things I can’t have. Cheese pizza. breadsticks. Steak and salad. Shaved ice/snowcones. Lemon flavored drinks, like slushies/frozen lemonade. Abuela’s hot chocolate with a couple stirs with a cinnamon stick-it can’t stay in there cus that’s too strong a flavor (for my delicate constitution) but it’s delicious.
I tag: @thewordsmithofhell, @checkfortraps, @luznerina, @riachan21, @raptorflora, @queenofthegraceless, and any of my friends, mutuals, and folowers that would like to do this, this is me telling you to do so!
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Pone Reviews 100: Slice of Life
DUN DUN DAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
This is the episode we’ve all been waiting for. Episode 100. I still can’t believe I’ve been writing this long. And with Season 8 being resumed in the States today, I thought now would be the perfect time to write this. Thanks for hanging with me all these weeks. Now here it is: A Pone Review of Season 5’s “Slice of Life!”
For an episode that is mainly meant to be comedic, the moral is surprisingly deep. “Everyone is the star of their own story, and everyone else plays a role in that story, whether big or small.” Well, how thinky is that! This is getting down to molecular levels of meaning! We are all just characters in life, aren’t we? Think about the people you have met. *All* the people. Your family, your friends, store and restaurant employees, coworkers, strangers. All those people have helped your story move along in some way. Even those that have done nothing have helped your story. Somewhere, there is a person you have never met and your not meeting them has caused your life to continue normally. Think about it. All those actions by all those people have led you here, reading my blog. If one of those people were absent, how different would your life be? It’s interesting to think about. “The Cutie Re-Mark” elaborates on this butterfly effect theory as it relates to the future. “Slice of Life” applies that to the present. And it may be the most thinky moral in the show thus far.
Plot time. While the Mane 6 are fighting a bugbear, the rest of Ponyville is getting ready for Cranky Doodle and Matilda’s wedding! Okay… how the hell do I talk about this? THIS EPISODE WAS FUCKING MAGNIFICENT. Where do I begin? I just adore how the creators of this show are self-aware! They know all the references we make and the characters we follow. And they make it so the target audience (kids in case you forgot) still finds it funny and enjoyable! And so much to take in, too! I’ve watched this episode quite a few times and I’ve noticed something new every time. I don’t often have little to say about episodes. The reason I don’t have much to spew at you is because I don’t know how to put my appreciation and enjoyment of this episode into words! If I went over every single amazing thing (which is a lot), we would be here a long time. So I hope you remember that I absolutely love and appreciate this episode and the showrunners and I could just give this a 5 out of 5 right now. BUT I’M NOT DONE Because I don’t want to take up most of the review with my unyielding appreciation of *every little thing,* I’ll highlight my five absolute total favorite details:
*HAHAHAHAHA EXISTENTIAL GUMMY HAHAHAHAHAHA (not to mention the split frame of the staff in horse masks before his speech!) I don’t know who thought of existential Gummy, but I want to give them a hug. *Ooh, that DJ Pon-3/Octavia duet was EPIC! And that’s beside the whole ride through Ponyville! I can’t get over how great the musicians are! They actually got cellist Tina Guo to record strings for this, and it gives me chills every time I listen to them. *Whoa, secret agent Bon Bon/Sweetie Drops! You probably know this, but that pony has been referred to both as Bon Bon and Sweetie Drops in official merchandise, so they are both valid names. AND THE BENCHES WE’VE SAT ON!
*Big Lebowski ponies! That’s how you fit adult jokes into a kids’ show. Worth noting that the Dude’s cutie mark is a carpet, referring to a line from the original movie where someone peed on Jeff Bridges’s rug.
*A joke made on purpose or not, Cranky and Matilda are literally kissing asses. Is that what Larson wanted to do for this whole thing? Kiss ass? Is that it, Mitch? Is this what helps you sleep at night? (I would make a different joke except an MLP animator got arrested for child pornography recently and that is unacceptable so I will not make the joke.)
And wow, there were actually things I disliked in this episode. Here they are:
*Princess Celestia and Luna are in town for a wedding - a wedding of two characters they have no real relationship with - but they can’t be bothered to help the Mane 6 exterminate that bugbear.
*While I absolutely love Steven Magnet’s generosity (and the fact they stuck with that name!), the orange color of his mustache-toupee just doesn’t mesh well with Cranky’s color scheme for me. Just feels… off.
*Also regarding that toupee, Steven cuts a HUGE section of his mustache off but it is super tiny when he puts it on Cranky’s head.
*Can’t blame Derpy for being Derpy. But it annoys me that no one noticed the Mane 6’s absence, especially that of Pinkie Pie, Matilda’s WEDDING PLANNER.
*I don’t remember Cranky and Matilda being at Twilight’s coronation and yet Cranky is apparently there according to a picture in Matilda’s scrapbook. WHERE IS PHOTOSHOP IN THIS WORLD
To conclude this 100th Pone Review: A batshit crazy episode with a deep AF moral and so much more awesomeness. I love this show! Here’s to 100 more reviews! 5 out of 5 rainbows!!! 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈 Once again, thank you for reading. Tomorrow I resume the Season 8 reviews with a review focusing on our favorite clumsy draconeqqus! Diamond out!
#my little pony#mlp:fim#my little pony friendship is magic#slice of life#mlp#mlp: friendship is magic#mlpseason5#octavia#dj pon3#dr hooves#derpy#the big lebowski#donkey#kissing ass#pone reviews#100
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