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flowersbby · 3 years

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Star Struck | Corpse Husband x Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Swearing (If I’m missing any let me know please! :) )

a/n: You’re a model/ streamer in this one! :D I’m thinking about if I should turn this into a series or not? Lmk what you think. I hope you like it <3

It was a nice morning. The sun was shining through the tall windows that showed you a view of your balcony onto your bed, there was a slight breeze so it wasn’t too hot, and you could hear the birds chirping with the occasional honking due to LA traffic. The only reason you woke up was because the sun was shining right in your face. You groaned and put a pillow over your face. I really don’t want to get up right now. Just a few more minutes.. You thought and right as you were about to take the pillow off your face and turn over onto your other side so you could go back to sleep, your phone started ringing. “Ugh!” You groaned once again and reached for your phone that was on your nightstand. You looked at the caller ID and saw that it was your manager, Chris. You accepted the call and put the phone to your ear. “What do you want?” You asked in an annoyed and tired tone. You were definitely NOT a morning person. You hated mornings.

“Oh my God,” He said in a rushed tone, “Have you literally JUST woken up? You have a photoshoot in 2 hours! Makeup and wardrobe are waiting for you down here!” Your eyes widened. You completely forgot about it.

“I-I’ll be right there!” You told him and hung up. You sprang out of bed and almost ran to your walk in closet, your eyes scanning for a top that would match the black leather skirt you wanted to wear for the day. You decided on a black mesh body suit with a black crop top under it. All black today. like your soul. You quickly put on some black heels and brushed your hair, cringing at how the brush tugged on your hair when it reached a knot. You didn’t bother doing your makeup since your makeup team would take it off anyway. You fast walked to the door of your apartment, grabbed your purse off the hook, and opened your door to leave to your photoshoot.

🖤🖤🖤

After a lot of yelling from Chris for holding the makeup and wardrobe team up, you did your photoshoot and got to go home. When you got home, you took a mirror picture of your outfit and uploaded it to Instagram, putting the caption as “Fashionably Late 🖤💋”. You smiled at the influx of likes right as it posted. You were truly lucky to have your supporters, but you wanted one person in particular to see it.

Corpse’s POV

I was casually playing Among Us with my friends while they streamed when I felt my phone vibrate slightly on my lap. I began to feel anxious to check my phone since I only have notifications on for one person but I didn’t want to take my eyes off the screen since I was following Jack, who I was sus of. Right when him and I entered electrical, he broke my neck. I felt relieved though since I got to finally look at (y/n)’s post.

My eyes widened when I saw the picture of her outfit. She looked good. Very good. I double tapped on it and immediately went to the comment section out of curiosity of what other people were saying. I looked at all the comments saying how pretty she was and smiled, but the comments made by creepy people made my blood boil. I wish I could just reply to them and say “That’s my girl. Stop.” but we both agreed to keep our relationship out of the public eye and I was truly fine with that. I just wish I could protect her from the creeps out there.

I wasn’t even paying attention to the game until I suddenly saw “Victory” appear on my screen. “Let’s goooo!” I said into the mic. Everyone else was celebrating as well.

“Hey!” Rae exclaimed, “Let’s get (y/n) in here, she just got home.” My heart skipped a beat and I smiled.

“Yes!” I said a little too excited. Everyone else didn’t notice it though and agreed with me. I quickly texted her out of excitement.

Your POV

After receiving an invite from Rae and booting up your computer, as well as getting everything prepared to stream, you got a text from Corpse. You quickly grabbed your phone to respond back to whatever he said.

My Love 😊💖💖

im so excited to hear your voice

i’ve missed you

You blushed at his messages. You thought about what to text back for a minute until you figured out what to say.

You

I have so much to tell you from today

I missed you so much bb

ft later?

You set your phone back on your desk and loaded up Among Us, joining the discord call while you wait. You were greeted by everyone as you joined.

“(Y/n)! Good noon!” Greeted Rae. You smiled as everyone in the call erupted in hello’s.

“Hey, (y/n).” Corpse said after everyone else had their chance to greet you.

Your stomach did backflips from him just saying your name. “Hi~” You said in a sing songy voice and started streaming. “How are all you guys doing?” You asked as your picked up your water from your desk and started drinking.

“Good now that you’re here..” Corpse muttered. You choked on your water and erupted in coughing, taken aback from what he said. Good thing your were muted.

“Corpse?!” Yelled Poki.

“What did you say?!” Also yelled Felix. The rest were just erupting in Aw’s.

“U-uh,” Corpse stuttered, “I meant that because (y/n) is such a good imposter and I’ve been a little off my game today so I’m hoping we get imposter together so I have some content for a video.” Good cover up.. You thought as your coughing got under control. I think he forgot to mute himself.

“Yeah!” You exclaimed, “We got this my dude!” You took a glance at chat and saw everyone going crazy. Half of them were typing in all caps asking for someone to clip that moment, and half were shipping you and corpse.

“I can only play one game anyway,” Corpse said, “I have stuff to do.” You frowned at what he said. You haven’t gotten to talk with him all day because of how rushed you were this morning and now you won’t have time to talk with him now because of how different your schedules are. Even though you two loved each other a lot you have had your arguments about this with him. You hate that he lives two hours from you or else this wouldn’t be an issue. You would be over at his house everyday if he lived in LA. You hated long distance.

You had a great time playing with your friends, but when Corpse left you got a little gloomy. He wasn’t answering your texts either. You sighed and changed into his hoody he left in your closet when he visited last and put on some grey pajama shorts. You tied your hair into a messy bun so it wouldn’t get in your way for the rest of the night even though you were just going to watch Netflix in your bed and eat chips. After grabbing your snacks, you walked to your bedroom and opened the glass door to the balcony in your room, turned your LED lights to (f/c), got comfortable in your bed, and turned on your favorite show on your TV.

You were scrolling through Instagram as you heard a knock at your door. A scared feeling washed over you and you paused what you were doing. It was like you were frozen in time and if you made one sudden movement everything would come crashing down. They knocked again. You were scared that some crazed fan found your address to your apartment. Cautiously, you walked to your door and looked through the peek hole. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach and a wide grin appeared on your face as you saw who it was. You quickly unlocked your door and opened it. You wasted no time and grabbed Corpse’s face and kissed him with so much passion you didn’t want to stop. He lifted you up and held your thighs in his hands, walking into your apartment and shutting the door with his foot. “I’ve missed you so much baby.” He breathed as he kept kissing you.

You pulled away from the heated session and Corpse carefully placed you on your feet. You hugged him. “I missed you too.” You said and didn’t want to let go. Corpse placed a kiss on your head as he hugged you and rubbed your back. You realized something and pulled away from the hug. “Where’s your stuff?” Noticing he didn’t have a suitcase.

He looked at you with a blank expression. “Fuuuckk....” He groaned. “I forgot it.”

You looked at him confused. “How do you forget your stuff. It’s a two hour drive here!” You laughed.

He scratched the back of his neck embarrassed. “I really missed you and I was excited to surprise you,” He explained. “I didn’t want to get here late and have you asleep so I didn’t even think about packing.”

You smiled. “Well, at least you have a ton of clothes here you’ve left.”

He smirked, looking at his hoodie on your body. “Yeah, I see that.”

You smirked back at him, turned around, and began to walk back into your bedroom, wanting him to follow you. Corpse quickly swept you off your feet and put you over his shoulder, plopping you on the bed as he got on top of you. He looked into your eyes. “I’m tired.” He muttered.

“Let’s cuddle then, baby.” You smile. He smiles back at you tiredly as he moves off you to be the big spoon, pulling you against him by wrapping his arm around your waist. You felt happy in that moment. You finally got to be with the only man who loves you for you physically, instead of two hours away. You both fell asleep, taking in this moment.

#corpse #corpse x reader #corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband x you #corpse husband x y/n

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amphii-writes · 3 years

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Random Haikyuu Head Canons I Have

these are all taken from my discord server cause i remember to write them there, if you want to request fanfics, my requests are W I D E open! there is also nO order! these are just all the headcanons i could find tbh

warnings: mentions of blood, and just overall wild times, swearing

Asahi loves knitting sweaters because his shoulders are broad and he also loves seeing the reactions from his teammates when they get a sweater from him! He says he buys them but he doesn’t

Aone likes knitting socks because he has big feet and he loves fluffy knee high socks but his team will never know

Asahi and Aone regularly hang out and knit together! (after asahi wasnt scared of him anyways)

Nishinoya gives you shiny rocks he finds because “your eyes shine like them!”

Yamaguchi likes to have your head rest on his chest while cuddling!

Aone likes to bake

Aone dressed like a polar bear because koganegawa told him to- halloween was amazing

daICHI HAS A KISS THE COOK APRON

Daichi secretly can make some kick ass steak and is amazing at grilling sorry

Okay but real talk, Kenma and Yaku swear like sailors and it scares everyone because they always whisper the most foul, insulting things under their breath. Hearing it is like seeing a cryptid

Speaking of cryptids, Fukunaga and Shibayama are THE most true crime, mythology, and mystery obsessed fanatics on the team and often fanboy about it together

Fukunaga’s obsession with moth man has gotten to an unhealthy stage

Kenma absolutely had a vampire phase and has read twilight. Only Kuroo knows and has sworn to secrecy via blood pact

Kuroo’s a musical nerd. Knows all of the lyrics to Hamilton, BMC, DEH, Heathers, Rent, Beetlejuice, Etc. Kenma considered dropping him because of it

Iwaizumi tells the worst dad jokes and Kyotani, wanting to beat him, started doing it too and it drives everyone insane

Yahaba and Matsukawa get along surprisingly well. Both are true crime freaks and bond over their forensic files obsessions

Matsukawa didn’t really like his thick eyebrows so he got one of his female friends to pluck it for him, but almost cried and gave up after the first hair. Oikawa called him a pussy for the next year

Hanamaki jokingly flirts with everyone on the team so most of them just got used to it, but it still confuses Kindaichi to the point of mental breakdown

Makki called Kyotani ‘puppy’ as a joke once and now mad dog is truly terrified of him

Kyotani’s dog absolutely ADORES Oikawa and it’s the funniest shit to the rest of the team

Mattsun and Makki play DnD and once convinced Yahaba and Kyotani to join. Kyotani kept rolling to fight everyone and Yahaba was a bard that kept rolling to seduce everyone. They kept yelling across the board so they had to kick them out

Outside of his school uniform, Goshiki specifically wears only plaid

Tendou makes little chocolates for the whole team every once in a while so they don’t think he’s scary

Semi and Shirabu once had a fistfight in an abandoned McDonald’s parking lot while Tendou filmed and Goshiki cheered them on

Everybody makes fun of Shirabu’s haircut but nobody dares to say it to his face. its gotten to the point where they say he got it done by a blind old lady

There’s a running joke about Shirabu also getting his haircut from prison but Goshiki is starting to suspect that it may not be a joke

Yamagata and Tendou are good friends with the mutual goal of collecting as much blackmail on their team as possible

Tendou loves animals generally considered to be ‘ugly’ like rats, crows, reptiles, etc.

80% of Goshiki’s playlist is shit overplayed on the radio. Him, Shirabu, Tendou, Kawanishi and Ushijima have a permanent ban from the aux cord

Nobody watches YouTube with Ushijima because he never skips the damn ads (other than tendou)

Suna once said y’all’dn’t’ve unironically and made a first year cry

Akagi once said UwU unironically and had an identity crisis.

Osamu has one of those rainbow gaming keyboards and is constantly on a discord call. Atsumu always yells weird shit in the background to embarrass him and once pretended to be him

During Seijoh group chat arguments. Hanamaki and Mattsukawa like to drop facebook minion memes in just to piss everyone off even more

mattsun and maki both have separate photo albums in their phones labelled ‘minion memes to piss everyone off’

Hinata carries a pocket knife and no one has no fucking idea why

mattsun and maki both have matching rat fursuits that look like they actually where in a sewer- they chased oikawa around

For all his talk of plant analogies and metaphors, Ushijima cant grow shit

Goshiki’s Bangs are the way they are because his favorite character was Rock Lee from Naruto

Oikawa has watched Ouran High School Host Club front to back so many times and he can quote all of Tamaki’s lines by heart -He keeps bothering Iwaizumi to “be his Haruhi, since you’re shorter than me”

Koganegawa has definitely gone as an Angry Bird for Halloween

Fukunaga has those reflective cat eyes, and he has terrified Yamamoto on several occasion

Hanamaki and Matsukawa have a teddy bear that they pretend is their child and they share custody

Suga always sprays whipped cream straight into his mouth whenever he sees a can

Nishinoya definitely bit people as a kid

Nishinoya would be the guy to wear shorts all year round and even if it's snowing, he'll insist he's not cold

Tendou is still stuck in his emo phase and would fangirl over Creepypasta with me and I appreciate that (me too buddy, me fuckin too)

Kyoutani LOOKS like he’d listen to viking death metal, but in reality he listens to Mother Mother and knows all the words to Ghosting

Sugawara would definitely encourage me to dumb shit and not stop me, and you’re all dumb for thinking he wouldn’t

KENMA IS NOT ‘uwu owo’ SHY, HE IS ‘your fucking gross’ SHY SO LITERALLY STFU

Bokuto listens to Nicki Manaj. And knows all the words. To every. Single. Song.

Ushijima for some reason knows an odd amount of 90′s-2000′s R&B and he will hum along to the songs if they come on the radio (he also loves Dolly Parton) ((he says he relates to her music))

Bokuto once ate instant ramen for an entire month

TERUSHIMA DID TRY TO FUCK A PLANT WHILE SHITFACED AND GOD I STAND BY WHAT I SAID

atsumu let’s you put makeup on him and pretends to eat the brushes (do yk what im talking about- like n o m)

tendou ran for school president as a joke but actually won

i 100% believe that all of karasuno’s third years apologize when they bump into inanimate objects, but when suga is really tired or stressed out, he’ll yell at them instead.

Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Taketora have a group chat called "Bros who want sum hoes" and they send each other hypebeast memes and shit

Sugawara knows how to do a bunch of flexible shit because he sometimes goes to yoga with daichi and asahi's moms, its fucking hilarious

tanaka and noya both breakdance- they work as a team and sometimes go to tokyo for underground competitions- saeko drives them

Daichi knows a little ballet- nobody other than Kiyoko knows because they saw each other at the ballet class and had to work together- dont tell tanaka and noya that he lifted her though

Osamu once put glitter on Atsumu's pillow- he still finds hot pink glitter on shit

kita knits and crochets with his grandma

Kita's grandma knows everyone's names because kita talks shit bout them, her favorite is Aran

Kuroo has burnt his eyebrows off doing an experiment. His goggles didn't cover all his brows,,, so he just showed up to practice like that. No eyebrows and a chemical burn

kenma has played all kinds of games, but he was dared to play corpse party by kuroo. He wasn't scared because of the gore, he was thinking about the trauma the characters went through. Punched kuroo the next day because that game was fucked up

Lev isn't a strong swimmer, so he often grabs people by the head to keep himself up. happened with kenma and lev couldn't walk due to the force of kenmas suprised water kicks

akaashi has those fancy pens that you have to dip in ink and they're so nice

Bokuto has and will eat pencil erasers again

Daichi once almost lost his shit at his team but instead he lost his shit at the door that decided to stub his toe on the way out of the gym. not the best thing to be found yelling to.

Yamaguchi for sure has been dragged to one of terushimas parties because he didnt wanna say no. oh and terushima has like frat boy level parties too. Yams has for sure had some wild nights and doubts anyone other than Tsukishima and the party-goers will ever know

Akaashi can actually flirt very well! He reads romance novels sometimes and has analyzed any and every book in his possession! so he's actually quite charming

Daihsou unironically posted on twitter after mika broke up with him "I still see her shadows in my room"

Mattsun and Maki run a fake oikawa account; its been going ever since twitter even started getting popular and they even started sending messages in spanish. The posts would range from "I love all my fans!" to flirting with them :) Oikawa is pissed cause the account got verified before he did and most of his fans also follow the fake oikawa. Tooru has no idea who runs it JUST IMAGINE OIKAWA JUST LIKE RANTING TO THE SEIJOH 3RD YEAR ALUMNI AND JUST "no Iwa-chan, you dont understand! they run a fake account and pretend to be me!" while makki and mattsun laugh their asses off

Oh, kenma for sure has pretended to be a girl on discord and has gotten someone to buy him stuff. after they do he says in his normal voice "fucking simp" and then hangs up and blocks the other persons discord

Yamamoto, despite his rough appearance, loves kids and has and will be a human jungle gym

suna in middle school had a game with his friends about who could make kids cry the fastest

The twins switched places back in middle school and nobody could tell because of how great they are at acting like eachother

Daichi once arrested coach ukai for public intoxication after a game :|

Daichi has arrested many people from his old volleyball team but the most memorable case was when he arrested tanaka and noya for reckless driving. poor idiots got so scared when they saw their old captains face in their mirror and started to pray

tanaka, while trying to intimidate someone, once said "You dont gotta tell me twice, i may be straight but these hands are bisexual" and he often cringes at night thinking about it

Kageyama, as a comeback to Tsukishima, said "one thing about us royalty is that we love to feast" and he also fuckin hates what he said

the third years made a cult for Kiyoko. they chant every wednesday "i'll do anything for kiyoko, she makes me go loco"

oikawas fangirls are known to be fucking rabid

yAMAMOTO AND KENMA AFTER THEIR FIGHT WERE FORCED BY KUROO TO MAKE IT UP: so they dyed their hair together

Makki and mattsun sang two trucks in front of the entire team. everyone was so confused. Makki: "twO TRUCKS HAVIN SEX!!" Mattsun: "oH yEs!"THEY'D SWITCH OFF AND HAVE LIKE CHOREOGRAPHY TOO LIKE THEY'D DO A TANGO WHILE THE SONG IS LIKE "two beer trucks, making love"

tendou once called Oikawa "mr. no-nationals" and got kicked in the shins before iwaizumi could save him

Tsukishima had a my little pony phase

you work with matsukawa at a morgue and he makes dead people jokes while you fix some dead guys face with wax and makeup he'd be like "so didnt he like,,, stick his head out of the sunroof of a moving fuckin car??" he'd be singing dumb ways to die the entire day

i feel like Kuroo has one crazy accident a year. like it might not be deadly but its fucking crazy like for example: Kuroo for sure has ridden in a shopping cart at past midnight with kenma (who pushed him down a hill) causing Kuroo to get scratched up hella well. he lied and said he spent the night with a girl and kenma fucking hated himself cause he would be the girl if that was true

Mattsun has flirted with the 4th years moms before (AS A JOKE), and because of this: he is known as “fuckin milf hunter” sometimes by the team

Warning, this next headcanon is talking about cannabis, weed, mary jane, the zoink root. so if your uncomfortable, please dont read below :)

dude i wanna get high as SHIT with Asahi

i think Asahi would be one of those mfkers who takes one hit and is gone

ASAHI ACCIDENTALLY GOING TO PRACTICE ZOINKED

IMAGINE HIM SEEING TSUKISHIMA AND JUST "he looks so judgemental,,, im scared"

OR LIKE A MAD DAICHI AND JUST "i'm gonna,,, im gonna go jump out the window now"

Noya and Tanaka would know tho, i feel like they'd have a 6th sense when it comes to weed. they probably get some from Saeko cause she'd rather they do it in the house. they'd smell asahi like fucking dogs and just so,,, big guy had fun without us huh?

DAICHI WOULD KNOW ABOUT ASAHI BEING ZOINKED, SMASH HIS FACE INTO THE WALL, TURN AROUND WITH A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD AND WITH A BEAMING SMILE AND FEUX ENTHUSIASM SAY: "YOSH, LETS WARM UP!"

#haikyuu #hq #haikyuu!!#haikyuu crack #haikyuu boys #haikyuu x reader #haikyū!!#haikyu x reader

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radbutsafe · 3 years

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ALL FUCKIN 35 OF THEM SKLNWESDJFPXO

I SHOULDVE EXPECTED THIS FROM YOU

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

A three! I think I’m mid range cause I ain’t terrible but there is still shit I gotta improve and grow in my writing

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

to manifest what canon won’t give me and to write more! (though yes it is mainly about the smooching and the— I’ll stop there LOL)

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

Hm! My weird research details? I’m that “fun fact, did you know...” in my fics sometimes LOL! I plan on giving a penthouse for erina in a fic and I went through penthouse listings in Japan for floor layouts and locations💀 my research gives me inspo and depth to stuff I think I lack in comparison to others sometimes.

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

In terms of fellow fic writers, one of them I can’t name here but she’s an inspiration with her exceptional gift for prose period and her lovely skill at comedy! I want to be as funny as her when I write, I love her ironic situational humor. Other fic writers are @takoyakitenchou, @royaldragonsevgisi15 who I always love sharing ideas with and motivate me to create more! For non-fic writers it would be V.E. Schwab, Leigh Bardugo, Oda, and Horikoshi! The last two may be mangaka, however they are writers as well to create their stories! The depth these creators have given their worlds and interesting characters theyve given life to are all what I aspire to be like!

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

so far uh?? hm everything I’m currently writing are wips lol!! im proud of my wip that has been nicknamed ‘soma panics’ that is a multi-chapter fic that spans like probs 20 plus chapters maybe

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

dialogue! it’s so much fun! and character thoughts. I’ve said to people I may be better suited for script writing

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?

I think it’s description, of like setting and showing action. also an expansion of my vocabulary LOL

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

erina! I think it’s because canon has shown us many of her different faces and range of emotion.

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

SOMA!! chill ass mofo whos more carefree compared to the common shonen protagonist! for other shokugeki characters I’m not sure just yet because I haven’t flexed my fingers enough for the rest of them.

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for?

I guess I should say romance cause that’s what I mostly write LOL!

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

sorina and I try to get them to smooch eventually KEK and yeah it’s..usually romantic fluff lmao

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

HONESTLY ALL OF THEM but “soma panics” is my brain child

13. First fandom you ever wrote for?

pretty sure it’s digimon....

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

currently shokugeki no soma!!!!

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?

uhhhh I guess SNS? LMAO fandoms...all have their quirks to them.

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

characters cuddling!!!! or getting the urge to smooch!!!!

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

unrequited love GOOD FUCKIN BYEEEEEE

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

I have plot ideas thst can be wild potentially but so far nothing fits this criteria so far that I actually have written.

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?

depends on the fandom, but if written well, all of it!

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff?

shippy 100% like I said I like smoochin

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

romantic is...*drumroll* SORINA! platonic, soutaku and erina and alice!

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

Sometimes! There are times songs will be on loop and times I just shuffle a playlist. and if I’m writing in random bursts it’ll be with no music but it really does depend lmao I think music is when I’m forcing myself to write?

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

completely independent ideas, I’ve realized in the past prompts shoot me in the foot often unless I luckily figure something out. but I’m often driven by my own sporadic self interest with shitty ping ponging attention

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

multi-chap I guess cause I can post without being finished LOLLL but tbh can I really answer? I haven’t finished anything.....

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

I can’t answer this question imo because I haven’t finished a fic yet so technically stuff could all fit in the one fic?

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

MYSTERY AND CRIME! I love the genre and I have plot ideas once a blue moon but I can’t dive in because I want to make details that work and reduce plot holes where suspension of disbelief isn’t as needed. I need to study it more (I need to study all the details for any of my fics imo to be confident sometimes LOL)

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

I don’t think I can say one comment was the nicest because I’ve gotten comments that have given me quite the smiles to my face many times! I know this is a cop out but it’s true!

IS WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY UNTIL REINA SENT ME THE FOLLOWING ON DISCORD LIKE TWENTY MINS AGO:

and also rad. i am never this vocal about my emotions like EVER but this needs to be said your fics are obviously far from perfect, as are mine and everyone else's. but the thing about your works is that they're so well-sanded that it's impossible to find any rough edges or faults in them in terms of cohesion to a plot. your cast is never OOC and the amount of effort you devote to developing your takes on the characters as accurately as possible is unimaginably awe-inspiring.

BITCH I WANNA CRY 😭

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing?

I’d like to believe I take it often well to try and improve because that’s always my goal. if someone is rude lol that’s not constructive snd is unhelpful. If I disagree with criticism I’ll explain why !

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

Not yet, but I have some plot ideas I think will let me test this.

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

F L U F F.

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

elliott fuji, a japanese-american award winning photographer who is erina’s boyfriend in ‘soma panics’ which..causes soma’s panic LOL he’s 30 with slightly wavy black hair. I still haven’t pinpointed his personality just yet...he kind of humble brags for sure an artsy fucker and flirts maybe I’ll make him a lil shy though. he teaches sometimes, and becomes an adjunct photography professor in Tokyo so he can be with erina.

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.

a cook is unfashionably late in realizing his feelings.

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

I am a slow. so slow. motivation who is she? I also write out of order, unfortunately a bit too often.

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

this should be for the fic ‘soma panics’ it’s either megumi or satoshi talkin to him rn, I’m leaning towards satoshi

“You thought she would always wait for you, didn’t you Soma-kun? To always welcome you home.”

Soma drags his palms down his face and groans. He doesn’t like this at all. He doesn’t shy from confrontation but this is a whole different ballgame. Soma doesn’t play any ball.

“I guess..?” Is his reply, because he thinks he isn’t sure how to answer that.

“You guess?”

Just being questioned again is enough to crack Soma’s pathetic facade as if it was dropped chinaware and he lets out the longest sigh.

“No.”

Coming home means coming home to Nakiri Erina too.

Nakiri Erina is his forever.

this is @takoyakitenchou’s excerpt she’s most proud of that I’ve written, which is also from you guessed it, the long fic soma panics

SOMA: I am, I mean I will be, I swear I will always come home to you, not spend as much time abroad, once I’m done with work I’ll come right back. I’ll make sure to message you. Nakiri, I’m in love you with you. Maybe for a really long time. You know how I say I dedicate my food to you? My dad—my dad said that the key to become a good chef is to find someone to dedicate your cooking to. A special someone. For my dad it was my mom, you know? For me it’s...

(this is a good piece of dialogue tbh so I am also proud of this)

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

I’ve mentioned it throughout this but the WIP I’ve nicknamed ‘soma panics’ is something I’m super excited to write, but it’s going on slowly...and almost completely out of order. out of all of my writing it showed off that particular habit of mine, along with “what is this, a shoujo manga?!” though the latter is currently being written chronologically now that I’ve posted chapter one and is pretty solid in direction. it was originally supposed to be a one shot but I got impatient and wanted to post at least something for the sorina / soueri fandom.

however, because ‘soma panics’ (I won’t call it that LOL) is my baby I want to keep true to my rule of refusing to post it until I have a draft of the entire fic finished and I’m satisfied with the main points pretty much. due to my writing out of order, I’m worried I’ll change my mind about scenes or want to reflect things in earlier chapters for later ones etc etc

I joined the SnS fandom extremely late, as season five was airing. I was a fan of the manga five years ago and dropped it because I forgot to check for updates when I caught up 😔 I really want to bang out the different fics and aus for sorina that I have before the fandom fizzles out entirely but tbh I’m writing for myself, I’m manifesting what I want to see and I’ll just share it with all my friends to read if no one else will. cause I’m slow broski I dunno what writing fast even is like LMAO I do really want to write faster though, so I can contribute more and let the words free from the discord dms....

#ask meme #ask rad shit #writing #writing by rad #fanfic #reina girl u put me thru it I swear lol #thank u for sending!!#ur amazing!!!!

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hopeandharmonizing · 4 years

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RP Plotting Sheet : Briar Rieka

Want new-and-exciting plots for your character? Long to reach out to more of your followers, but don’t know where to start? Fear not! Fill out this form and give your RP partners both present and future all the of juicy jumping off points they need to help you get your characters acquainted.

Be sure to tag the players whose characters YOU want more cues to interact with, and repost, don’t reblog! Feel free to add or remove sections as you see fit. Template here.

tagged by: stole it from an old blog

Mun name: Rachel or Teceraca OOC Contact: Start with tumblr IMs. I have discord as well. Talk in the tags.

Who the heck is my muse anyway:

Creeping up on middle-age, part-time Happy Huntress, part-time musical performer, wolf faunus lady who occasionally plays with gender presentation, mostly on stage. She has a painful past, but it only hardened her into a stronger, kinder self who wants to help everyone else to never hurt that badly, or at least not have to shoulder the pain alone. All she wants is to empower people, and yet all she seems to do it make them weaker and intimidated in her presence. Regardless, she continues to try and inspire through words and music, and protect through fists and claws.

Points of interest:

black and white wolf tail, thorny vine tattoos wrapping most of her body, a semblance which cancels out others’ semblances, skilled in Aikido, guitar, keyboard/piano, and vocals. Graduate of Sanctum and Atlas Academies. Her huntress license lapsed after its first expiration date and remained that way for ~10 years until she reinstated at the behest of Robyn Hill. She will love you if you love yourself, and likewise do her best to truly scare the shit out of you if you mistreat others.

What they’ve been up to recently:

In mainverse, she’s living her best life in Mantle city, trying to bring hope to the masses and occasionally going on stake-outs for Robyn Hill or acting as entertainment or security detail for her rallies.

If you want to meet her somewhere in the past, you can find her either just looking to survive, mastering her music, or completing combat training followed by huntress training. then, trying but failing to work effectively as a licensed huntress, and slowly feeling like she’s lost herself before she finds music again.

Where to find them:

In chronological order:

Morkmani Village Anima forests Argus Sanctum Academy Atlas Academy Mantle city - wherever the work was - performances at nightclubs, bars, street venues, coffee shops, etc - libraries, cafes, anywhere she can sit and work on her stuff - her apartment - supporting other people’s shows! having fun in the crowds. - out shopping, especially to add to/update her wardrobe with cool shit

Current plans:

make the world better! or at least feel like less of an oncoming storm. continue to be a badass? love as many people as she can. from a distance, usually.

Desired interactions:

WHEEZE. A lot of this is similar to the associations bit in my page but here we go.

Robyn recruiting her to join the huntresses, any and all shenanigans that may follow. Fraternizing with fellow huntresses in general, or missions together.

Qrow and/or Clover semblance shenanigans and training. Also her and Clover generally giving each other shit bc it is just So Much to have those two egos in one room.

Bitching at Ironwood about what trust and loyalty REALLY means or maybe just her venting to someone about him, but this requires her getting to know him somehow in the first place, or at least to hear from others what he is like. idk. this muse has meta feelings about micromanagement, I would love to thread them.

Giving Weiss vocal training classes when she was a lil’ girl. and/or catching up in current verse.

Briar getting to meet Blake and absolutely gush about her speech at Menagerie bc she saw it from some scroll recordings.

Basically anything with Jaune. I still have no idea what is going to happen when these two semblances meet each other. I do know hers can basically act like a spiritual resistance weight to help his get stronger. It probably goes both ways. Semblance arm wrestling is what I’m sayin’. But also she just.......... she has a lot of feelings. It’s like a Qrow/Clover thing too where she looks at him and sees everything she could be, but isn’t. She’s too proud. Help her work through this and question herself a little bit so she can come out better for it, and realize they are both different yet who they are supposed to be.

Silver eyes training with Ruby!!!! She doesn’t know anything about them besides what she’d find out from the crew, but she does have plenty of skills and pep talks that can probably help Ruby focus and/or project her power. Briar's semblance color is silver for a reason.

Semblance/aura training with anyone in general. But when I say that I also mean “learning not to rely on your semblance” training. She’s good for that. She may get being a professor for it added to either her history or her future, idk yet.

This also leads into being able to have a discussion with Oscar/Ozpin about a different take that can help her fully realize her semblance abilities. If you’re interested, we can chat mun to mun so I can let you know my ideas and you can decide how your muse wants to guide her through it.

Other OCs idk who what where when why how but that’s exactly the point. the whole verse is our oyster, let’s see what happens. come @ me. let’s let our muses help develop each other.

Offered interactions:

Briar’s actually pretty easy to have interactions with villains? She probably won’t know any better if she runs into them and they aren’t immediately stirring trouble. For better or worse, she’ll give them the benefit of the doubt if they are trying to confide in her about something or just chatting.

Also I haven’t made one yet but she’d be damn good for a villain herself AU.

She will listen to you! She will sing to you!! She wants to make you happy and help you grow, plz come to her with whatever. (Or vice versa! She’s not difficult to get to open up and she will talk with you about her own doubts and demons if u want).

Anyone can watch one of her performances and/or come find her hanging around the venue afterwards. I’ll probably make some opens for this kind of thing.

Are you another performer character??? Duets??? duets.

Faunus mentor!! Music mentor!!

Sanctum or Atlas Academy student days can be a thing. Likewise for her more interspersed street performances during those times.

future volume interactions if you’re comfortable with hcs of what goes down until we find out canon. She can go after Robyn/Qrow in the immediate timeframe, or run into any of the kids in the process. I like to think she joins up with the main cast to head to Vacuo when that happens. Whether to just bring her music along for them and/or to start spreading it to more reaches of the world bc hopefully Atlas/Mantle is under control at some point and in good hands with Robyn and however that leadership shakes out, and damn the whole world needs hope right now, so it is... Time To Dream Even Bigger.

Current open post/s:

here’s the open starter tag!

Anything else?:

I thought there was a shipping section on here but uhhhhhh i’m too much of a wuss to make one myself right now. maybe a bias list in the future. I feel like I should get some general interactions going first.

Tagging: I’m not making anyone commit to this beast. If you want it, take it and most certainly blame me and tag me so I can read it.

#( you just crossed a borderline || ooc )#( can you keep up? is that all you got? || wishlist )#long post

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ohlukcs · 4 years

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– task 001 : ooc survey

YOUR ALIAS & NICKNAMES — sam !

AGE — 22

TIMEZONE — aest babey

PREFERRED PRONOUNS — she/her

MBTI — um i have no freakin idea except definitely introvert, i would do the test but i woke up like ten minutes ago so i am no functional enough for that rn lmao

HP HOUSE — now listen i wanted to be a ravenclaw when i was 11 so i believe i have to stick to that, based on my values and who i think i am now i think it’d be more hufflepuff but 11 yr old me wanted to be the smartest bitch around so im a ravenclaw

ARE YOU A STUDENT? WHAT DO YOU STUDY? — i used to be, i graduated last year i studied film and television

ARE YOU ENJOYING IT? — ya! it was a lot of fun and i got to make a lot of cool stuff ! made a film that won best student horror at toronto short film festival so that was really fucking exciting

LINKS TO OTHER ACCOUNTS & SOCIAL MEDIA — im @spookyrps and on weheartit and pinterest

DISCORD USER — im scared of bots so not gonna put the whole thing but im skelesam in the chat

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FICTION GENRE? — horror, thriller, anything crazy and ridiculous and fun. starting to like comedies a lot now too but it really depends on how its made

TOP FIVE FAVOURITE FILMS — oh boi um booksmart, the martian, whiplash, god help the girl, and the scooby doo movie. theres a million others i could put there but im just gonna go with the first five that came to mind or else i’ll be here all day (special shoutouts: bad times at the el royale, hereditary & midsommar, the new it movies, jennifer’s body, clue, the barkley marathons, harry potter series, se7en, and the saw franchise)

A BOOK YOU FEEL “CHANGED” YOU? — the night circus by erin morgenstern

A MOVIE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? — the room lmao

WHAT IS YOUR SIGN? — aquarius babey

ARE YOU INTO ASTROLOGY? — i dont like follow it but i do like to read up on them and use the signs to help build my characters (eg. lukas is a scorpio and drea is an aquarius too)

WHAT PLATFORMS HAVE YOU ROLEPLAYED ON? — almost exclusively tumblr but i was in a forum rp back in like 2009 or something lmao

WHAT OTHER HOBBIES DO YOU HAVE? — i do a lot of stuff based around film making, like everything from script writing/reading, production design, filming, editing, thats what i love to do. and i wanna be a gamer but i have a shit computer and very limited hand eye coordination lmaoo

HAVE ANY PETS? IF SO, TALK ABOUT THEM! — ya ! i have a black cat named zelda who is admittedly a lil .... thicc. i love her so much and she barely tolerates me. she grooms me and my roommate bc i think she thinks she’s our mom and like she is tbh

IS THERE A TV SHOW YOU RECOMMEND A LOT? — search party, its so fucking good and funny and crazy and i love it. if u like zany comedies with a lil mystery, its really fun. big broad city vibes

ANY SHOWS YOU LIKE SOME MIGHT BE SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT YOU DO? — um i dont think so, i think i’m very predictable in my media consumption lmao

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT? — bro its been so long since i finished a book, i think it was the miseducation of cameron post by emily m danforth. idk if i would recommend it, i think it depends what ur after from a book bc this was VERY DEPRESSING and threw my little bi ass through the ringer lol

CURRENTLY READING? — jonathon van ness’ autobiography over the top: a raw journey to self love (im rlly enjoying it so far)

LAST FILM? REC IT? — not technically a film but i watched unnatural selection on netflix last night and it fucked me up and i need everyone else to watch it so i can talk about it

THREE MOVIES YOU NEED TO WATCH — gattaca bc of the unnatural selection viewing lmao, the cat and the moon to support my boi alex wolff, and knives out bc it looks so fucking good i wanna see it so bad

WHAT MOVIE DO YOU THINK YOU’VE SEEN THE MOST TIMES? — harry potter and the philospher’s stone probably. i used to watch it multiple times a year and now i watch it at least once

WHAT ALWAYS PUTS YOU IN A GOOD MOOD? — watching my fave stand up comedies lol. go tos are john mulaney and bo burnham

WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE MUSICIAN / BAND? LIST IF THERE ARE MORE THAN ONE. — all time fave is the front bottoms but a more recent fave is rex orange county

WILD NIGHT OUT OR QUIET NIGHT IN? — quiet night in

ANY PHOBIAS? — not really

DO YOU LIKE BUGS? — fuck no but i dont really lose my shit over them

BIRDS? — they can chill, except for emus fuck them

ARE YOU A CAT OR DOG PERSON? BOTH? — more cat than dog but i want a dog rlly bad

BIGGEST PET PEEVE? — being talked over/ignored lol

FAVOURITE THING ABOUT THE RPC? — that i’ve met and become friends with so many cool people from all over the world ??? like what the fuck ???

TOP TEN FAVE FCS TO USE? — i mean obv at the moment its alisha boe and alex wolff, but also love liana liberato, benedetta gargari, joe keery, really love using all the skam nl fcs, lili reinhart, oliver jackson-cohen, zoe kravitz, and probs a million more i just cant think of

FIVE YOU LIKE WRITING AGAINST? — literally all of them bye lmao

FAVOURITE TYPE OF FOOD? — i luh me some pasta ok

WORST FOOD? — seafood lol i’ve never eaten it and i probs never will

DO YOU PLAY VIDEOGAMES? IF SO, WHAT ONES AND ON WHAT PLATFORM DO YOU PREFER? — i play a lil and wanna play more! atm i have a ps4 and i like to play a lot of like “””decision making games””” (until dawn, detroit become human, etc) but mainly i play graveyard keeper. currently saving to get a pc so i can play more

ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE TAG? — i said something about the barkley marathons before and i would just like to say netflix took it down recently and i haven’t recovered i feel like pure shit i just want her (the barkley marathons) back x

LASTLY, HOW DID YOU FIND US? — i follow a couple of the admins from my ooc blog and saw it was back (after never having time to join any of the other iterations of lockwood) and was like fuck it yk

#huntingtontask001 #huntingtonooc #huntingtontask

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tkyuri-blog · 5 years

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aLRIGHTY I’M LATE BUT HERE I AM !! nice to meet ya i’m bona your basic trash who’ll probably plot more stuff than i can actually write but yolo i guess? dshgdf anyway pls give lots of love to my children and don’t mind their super short intro, i’m so excited to be here :’) u can like this post or hit me at discord (bona#4975) so we can plot <3 anyway, ladies first !!

: *✧･ﾟ [ MYOUI MINA, FEMALE, SHE/HER ] So, YURI TAKADA, you think you have what it takes to join DRAGON EYES? At only TWENTY TWO, I hope you know what it is you’re signing up for. There’s more too it than just the reputation. Are you ready to be a MESSENGER? Being ALLURING might help you out, however let’s hope they don’t get tired of you being PESSIMISTIC. Good luck to you.

so, yuri’s mom used to be a maid for a kinda rich but not really family until she got pregnant with her boss’ older son who was already engaged (he’s trash). they fired her as soon as they found out, because not only was miss takada a maid, but she was also japanese and this combo didn’t sound very appropriate in their ears.

aNYWAY, the point was that yuri’s mother was alone in korea, barely 24, pregnant and broke. she needed the first job she could find and ended up as a waitress at a strip bar. it was the only place that accepted her despite her visible belly and the money could do, so who cares? yuri was born and a few months later her mom met a guy at the bar. she gave it a shot and even thought that maybe it was her chance to be happy but guess what !! men are trash once again !!

when yuri was like, a year and a half her mom married this guy. people say that you only get to know a person for real once you start living with them; that’s what happened. he was terrible in every sense of the word, treated her like a slave, trashed their home, wouldn’t let her take care of yuri to punish both of them. on the other hand, he had a better house than the small apartment she was living in, could afford proper food, had a comfortable bed to sleep in. yuri’s mom thought it was more than she could ask for, and because of that, she stayed.

yuri hated her so called family so much it physically hurt her. not only did she grow up watching her mother being treated like shit, she had to endure everything her stepfather wished to do with her too. yuri fought back a lot too, and it always made things worse. she got used to running away from home ever since she was eleven btw, learned how to steal, shoplift, have the things she was deprived of.

when she was fourteen, her mother unfortunately got pregnant again. it’s a surprise she managed to have this baby considering all the assault she went through, but suddenly yuri had a baby brother. honestly, yuta was probably the reason why she didn’t leave for good, since she loved him so dearly and was determined to make his life as peaceful as possible. her mother stops working once her husband says she better take care of yuta, cause he’s got no patience for crying babies anymore, as if he ever had.

yuri started working at the same strip bar as her mother did at sixteen thanks to a fake id. she was so scared to be caught and it was impossible not to notice, it was when a woman came to her and asked how she was. long story short, later on the same night a guy tried to touch yuri and that woman, who stayed by the bar chatting and getting to know yuri, immobilized and threw him on the ground. yuri by then knew how to throw a punch but she was so amazed by this stranger that asked her if she could teach her what she knew.

the woman, haemi, was a member of waikikis, as yuri found out later on. she grew fond of yuri after learning about her life and actually did teach her how to fight, even how to handle a gun. yuri’s always been charming somehow, and it caught haemi’s eye. a couple of months after she started working at the bar, yuri did her job gracefully, even convincing costumers to order more and more drinks. as soon as she knew, haemi was already asking her to become, how can i say this, a sidekick? hasdfbsdhgs she saw potential in her and thought she could be part of the gang in the near future!! ofc she accepted

the thing is, near her eighteenth birthday she was invited to join dragon eyes. she felt bad at leaving haemi behind, but,,,, their members were exceptional at showing her reasons as to go their way and, well, yuri was convinced it was the right choice? i mean, pretty women, good with words, skilled? yes let yuri in pls

SO YEAH she got in and man she loves it, specially cause she got to leave her stepdad’s house. she hated being away from her brother, but she couldn’t just take him without being sure she could take care of him; when she could, though, at twenty, she just walked in her former home with a pretty gun in her hands and a stunning smile on her face?? like?? i’m taking yuta with me and if you dare come after us oh boy you’re dead?? it seemed to work just fine hfdgh

so that’s how she’s where she’s now ig?? fjdsugdf IM SORRY ABOUT THIS MESS but anyway, about yuri’s personality; she’s so sarcastic and apparently easy going?? as a teen she used to be rebellious and hotheaded and she kinda still is, but pretty much contained. she grew a lot smarter and honours her gang with her sweet talk, but yeah, honestly she still hates herself a little and she didn’t forget everything her stepdad did to her yet. terrible at any kind of relationships, yuri never had the actual time to make friends her age and she only began socializing with haemi, but will try to make herself likeable if she thinks you’re nice. JFDS THATS IT thanks if you read this crap you’re going to heaven bless u

#pabintro #' intro ! yuri

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babblingfishes · 6 years

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Another FroodPad Update

(I’m sending an email instead of tagging people about this one because the majority of you guys have changed urls.)

For anyone who used the original FroodPad (PiratenPad) teamsite for fic writing, the host is taking down the site next month.

As before with the Mozilla alternative, I have backups of most of the text.

Here’s what I do not have:

Backups of locked pads

Chat logs

Authors / authorship colors

Time slider histories

If you want any of those, you’ll need to grab them yourself asap! If you’ve forgotten a password, the quickest way to grab my attention is to let me know via the tumblr messager (or my Discord, if you have it) and I can help you.

As for the actual text of the pads, I have these saved! I can send them to you whenever you like. Under the cut is a VERY lengthy list of the pad titles I have backups of. I can also do a text search if you need.

!!HEY GUYS -- WRITER PROFILES *Goat scream* 2SPOOKY 2c Stories 365 days of Rabbit No! A Very Frood Pad Christmas An attempt to organize chaos And the Band Plays On Annie got her gun Ask Walter Kids BADLY SINNING BRAINTHUNDERING Best Ship Around Broken little pieces CC 4 editing Care Cat!Steve. Don't ask. Cat's sehr whichtig grad portfolio stuff Catori's Little Pad ^^ Cheeroko: ES Drabbles And Possible Story Cheeroko: Elder Scrolls Brainstorming Cheeroko: Fanficing Fanfics since ... Today? Cheeroko: Has Started Yet Another AU Cheeroko: Rabbit Appreciation Pad (Aka, SPG Pad) Cheeroko: Walter Manor Cheeroko: What Should I call this? [{Original Fic}] Cheeroko: You Know What? I'm Just Going To Use This Pad For My Gender Stuff Christmas List Come keep French Company! Please? Configuration (new-new CC and biocore planning) Counter Nonsense Crazy Community Fanfiction Crazy Community Fanfiction II Crazy SPG Collab Thing 2.0 DANGER 5 SOLVE THE GREATEST CRIME OF ALL Derelict (spoilers yo) Derelict 23 and other stuff Derelict Chapter 20 Derelict Chapter 24 Derelict Chapter 25 Derelict Chapter 25 for real this time Derelict Dragon Dreads Derelict Take 73 Derpy-Nuns Don't come here unless Fish is whining at you Don't look Dr. Babblefish's Quest to Only Become Moderately More Insane Dragon Lurve Elephants and Nachos Everyone Writing Everything FRANKENPAPPY Fantastic Mister Vox Fish Does Terrible Things Fish Fanfictions Salgexicon Now Fish and Serif attempt a role play thing. Fish and its monospaced text Fish has an F in evil Fish is Sailing a Ship Fish is a terrible person. Fish is just rambling Fish writes things about other fandoms Fish's Awkward Nonfandom Headcanons Fish's Lupin Drabbles Fish's Magical Tragical Guide to Not Writing Mary Sues Fish's OC Boat Fish's Originalish Pad Fish's Plots and Characters French Rambles French Writes Stony French is a Poet Froodpad Rules and Instructions Further proof we're all insane Futureverse G-Mans and Watering Cans GW2 Cav stuff Ghost! Ghostfacers! Hangout pad Happy Little Family Happy Little Family Notes Here ye go, Redacted Heyo, Achgfd Homestead-Ch.1 How to be nice in RP I blame everyone but me I figure at this rate I should just make a Weird SPG Dreams pad I have no idea what im working on I never tire, I serve I- I- I- LOVE ROBBIE DARREN IT IS A SMUT POWERED BLANKET MY GOOT SAR Ice Cream and Knit Bow Ties Imma figure this thing out by posting prompt responses Improb In Which Pappy Dies In Which Reed Becomes a Robot In Which Steve Drops Bass In Which There is an Abandoned Lab In which robots become metaphors for Autism Spectrum stuff Laying Down The Law Here MATURE REPLY MBG Tumblr Planning MERRY HOLIDAYMAS YOU WEIRDOS! MWFGOH Notes MY FRIEND MATT WHERE YOU AT May B. we Feta get outta here May B. we Feta get outta here pt2 Muppet Baby Giraffe Fics Myth fanfiction maybe??? NOBODY PANIC (MICHAEL GOT THE D) Neoma's Writes Not Actually a Funeral Not!Derelict Nuns could use help writing a comedy piece for English Nuns does a research paper on GAY GODS Nuns fools around with a hero's journey Nuns hunts for the Holy Grail (and a good essay grade) OC ADVENTURE!! OFF Musingses OOPS Oedipus Script Old Money On the wings of steam One of the Fanmily Original stuff is harder than we anticipated PSILENCE WILL FALL Pappy Pad 2 Pappy Rabbit Old (Still needed though!) Pen & Kari's Pad of Fairytale Badassery Philosophy Notes Pokemanz SPG Post-Derelict Headcanons Princey and Leeland's Walter People Pad Princey definitely isn't using this pad for homework anymore Princey is the best right Leilani right Princey tries Original Stuff Princey wanted to write OC stuff too Princey's self-indulgent stuff Princeyfic (An Accident of the Smallest Kind final chapter) Princeyfic: An Accident of the Smallest Kind Princeyfic: Basically nothing but a mermaid OC Princeyfic: Canoe Catastrophe Pronz Psi does homework and other stuff Psi does homework occasionally Psi gets his shit together Psi is in pain. Also class. Psi jacks Cat's characters Psi plans the Derelict!Verse RP blog early because he's bored Psi reads Marsupial Psi takes out dysphoria on The Spine Psi tries for "canon" SPG Psi writes Cabin Pressure stuff Psi writes a thing about an author Psi's Headcanon Psi's Kazooland OCs??? Psi's class notes Psi's class notes and HatchWorth stuff Psilent's Hatchworth Feels Psilent's Pscribblings Psilent's Pstuff Psunny's Muppet Babby Stuff Public pad 2: 2 public 2 pad Pun and Psi Make a Porno Punny: Ask Index Punny: Broken little pieces Punny: Crack Fic ideas Punny: Ficlets Punny: HLF Th teen years Punny: Happy Little Family Punny: Justice Giraffes Punny: Major fics Punny: Rainbow! The Spine Punny: Trying to figure out how the hell Super spg works RABBIT NO RABBIT NO 2: electric boogaloo Rabbit writes fanfic Relish's Ramblings Reverse Pre Mid Life Crisis 3000 Rex and Captain. Rover! SICK ROBOTS. (Princey and Leeland) SIMNANIGANS SO I may have discovered aquabats and it may have given me some muse SPG/Avengers cross over collab-fic SS kills a lot of young women SS: Aftertheendverse SS: Aggressively writes happy fanfiction SS: Amnesia Home Pad SS: Amnesia Revisions SS: Amnesia!Spine Headcanoning SS: Ancient Mariner SS: Angsty Poetry xP SS: Annie/V SS: Dragon!Steve SS: Genderbends because of reasons SS: Just our positronic electronic harmonic SS: Michael wants the D(erelict!Steve's dick) SS: Michael wants the D(erelict!Steve) #2 SS: More Spine/OC junk SS: Okay actually writing Amnesia now SS: Poems by Peter VI SS: Possible Natalia 'Verse SS: Private Party SS: Ratchet and pumpkin SS: Spine/OC SS: Spine/OC #2 SS: Spine/OC #3 SS: The Only Constant SS: The Way Home SS: hoamwork Satyr Adventure script Secret Santa (Sign-ups closed, Santas have been assigned!) Serif needs to kill something apparently Serif's Dump Pad Serif's Dump Pad 2 Seth only starts things and never finishes them Sewing Stitches SisterofaFish's Pad So much craft poisoning Something Wicked This Way Comes Space-Opera Spoons' Stuff Goes Here Stalking Information Steve has Joined Your Party! THIS IS WHERE THE PARTIES AT TIME TO SCARE THE BABIES Tango's Reason Why The Case of the Quest of the Missing Coffee The Mythos Mythos The Rake This is a public pad because Fish is bored This is utter crap Thunder Charge Title! Too Many Thoughts Untitled 180 Untitled 217 Untitled 314 Untitled 322 Untitled 323 Untitled 324 Verse Fable...or something like that WE GON WRITE FLUFF WE LAV U HRUP WRITER PROFILES We write Mirrormask fics now. Mirrormask is cool. Well look what the cat dragged back in World Building You know what, ignore Nuns a surprise in every pad and no one was ever happy the end awkward monsters/spg campfire song song cat used to write hannafic class notes copper conduction 3: REVELATIONS copper conduction p. 4 death lullaby ye everybody look down fear and loathing in san diego half-baked hatchworth stuff hesitantly works on new chapter how rabbit got his groove back 2 i leik ur silileh lteile hat incdrop - frisk incwrites it's sort of like hellraiser except not lemarchand's fic oh heck there's a plot one time ruffy wrote angst original sexy awesomeness possibly part of Two Birds One Stone possibly not psi is the batman psi's original story (caution may contain robots) ((totally contains robots)) psi's presentation that's due in six hours ruffy's writing a thing schoolwork and such (go away) shit so many fics so little time so much writers block sometimes i doubt your commitment to sparkle motion the end. the fucking crying game the future doesn't love you the wit and wisdom of spg woo lets write pirates woo

#froodpad #long post #(sorry if tumblr doesn't cut this @ mobile folks)

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mahkari · 6 years

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i don’t consider myself social, i never have. i don’t like talking to people i haven’t gotten completely comfortable with, and i guess that just gave me a bad name.

probably the best way i’d actually be able to explain my depression to someone who doesn’t suffer from it, is imagine you’re in an ocean. its nothing but darkness but you can still see and breathe. But since you’re in an “ocean” your first instinct would be to try and swim out. But the thing is whenever you try your hardest to swim up, you get knocked down from a wave of fear, thoughts, and emotions. every time this wave knocks you down, you get trapped further and further down in the ocean you’re stuck in.

that’s basically how it was for me once i hit middle school. middle school is about the time when people start to question themselves and go through hormone changes. that was exactly the case with me. my best friend whom i met that year, confessed her love for me about 3 months into our friendship. i didn’t know what to do because i thought i was straight, but i learned that i clearly wasn’t. she was the sweetest and nicest person i knew and couldn’t help myself, i loved her more than anything.

of course, i was so naive and young, i just thought everyone would accept me for it, but i was heavily mistaken. I’d be called “lesbo, faggot, disgusting” and so on. I was so lost, this happened so regularly to me and it was just so odd. I had never had a legitimate bullying issue, but thats the thing that held me from telling anyone. I couldn’t let anyone know that i was upset, so i went home everyday with a smile on my face pretending like i was all okay.

that whole thing of acting fine didn’t last very long, though. i remember our guidance counselor pulling me out of class. after that she brought me down to her office and showed me stuff that i had posted online about me threatening to cut and kill myself. she asked me what was happening and i broke down. i couldn’t stop myself from crying my eyes out because i had felt so broken for around 3 months. it doesn’t sound so bad compared to how long other people had been struggling, but it was still incredibly rough.

i had told her about my attempts at suicide and how badly i would throw myself down and try to cut myself but flunk out last second. of course she called my parents about how terrible i had felt. but she told them one detail my parents somehow didn’t know about. they were forgetting about me.

i can’t blame them entirely because i have a family of 6 siblings, so 7 kids is a lot, but what hurt me so terribly is how little they noticed me, but how much they acknowledged everyone else. my older siblings were normally social and open with their friends so they always had stories to tell. while my little siblings needed attention because they were little. but it felt like i wasn’t even there.

i can’t tell you how many times they’d all have dinner and i’d go downstairs and ask about dinner, and they’d say they forgot about me. i played it off and just ate something else or had leftovers, but i wanted nothing more than family time. i wanted nothing more than to be THERE. i wanted to acknowledged, but i wasn’t.

so anyways, when my parents got this news they picked me up from school and brought me home. of course, i was an emotional mess, crying at everything they were saying. i had felt so bad for so long and yet still zippered my mouth shut on it. they told me “they couldn’t tell, because i always came home with a smile on my face.” but the thing is, they’d see and hear me crying and just not do anything about it, i couldn’t trust them.

but that wasn’t the thing that completely broke me into pieces. it was my interaction with a guy on the internet that broke me so badly, i grew more standards for myself than ever.

this guy, i’ll name him rob. rob and i met on amino one day and we just kind of hit it off from there. i had many friends who knew him and told me “he was a bad person,” but i didn’t listen. I was so young and stupid that i didn’t know how terrible it was going to get.

one day he asked me to join his discord because i got a laptop for christmas and i was using that for everything now. so of course i said yes and joined it. the second i was in, was nothing but negative energy. the server was owned by his friend Dylan who soon became one of my closest friends.

there were people everywhere making offensive jokes, telling each other to kill themselves, and just being nasty to each other. i didn’t realize that i soon turned into them. I acted like them and adapted to how they acted. I’d talk shit on people i knew and trusted, but pretended to hate for the sake of fitting in.

this negative attitude and personality soon warped into my actual personality. i’d tell people “fuck off you nigger” or “go die, no one actually wants you here” while expecting them to roll with it because it was a joke. i soon grew to isolate myself from actual society to be with these people who were tearing me apart.

while all of this server shit happened, i talked to rob in private messages a lot. at first it was your regular friend shit, sending memes and being assholes to people we didn’t like. but then we started talking more and more until we talked every little time we could. we apparently had a 6 hour time zone difference with me being 6 hours behind of his timezone. but this didn’t bother us, we still talked until we were both struggling to keep our eyes open.

now it sounds good on the surface, and it was good for many months. until one day we both felt a connection, we thought we were perfect for each other and we started dating. it was a great relationship and i adored it so much, but it quickly turned bad. we broke up once, but then got back together. so we were in his new discord at this point and he was spamming about some worthless shit.

now this part is 100% on me, but i told him “i will do anything for you to shut the fuck up” and he responded, “nudes?” i thought he was joking so i said, “yeah, sure.” and that was probably the biggest mistake. from that day forward i became practically his slave. if he wanted nudes, even if i stated i didn’t want to send them, i still gave in. if he wanted a sexual favor, i’d give him in.

i’m not going to say i never asked for sexual favors, because there were times when i quite obviously did, but it doesn’t compare to the amount of sexual favors he expected from me.

now, it gets pretty bad when he started comparing me. he would compare me to other girls bodies and tell me i had to look like that to stay with him. i was just so badly dependent on him that i tried to morph myself into these girls. someone who i just wasn’t.

i stopped eating to slim myself down and in the process gained terrible self-esteem issues. my day revolved around what i was eating and how much. i needed to be skinnier than i was, i needed to be perfect, i needed to look like those girls to please him. being with rob was probably the lowest i have ever felt in my life.

i couldn’t deal with my stress but i couldn’t tell rob because he openly admitted he didn’t care that i was struggling. so i cut myself all the time, and hid it all behind a smile and jokes. i’d send him pictures of me smiling and all that fun stuff to make him feel accomplished. i feared that i’d make him feel bad so i hid it.

he was tearing me apart but i was so scared of making people feel bad that i hid it from the person that was hurting me. i was never diagnosed with an eating disorder, and i don’t think i had one but all i can really remember is just being so scared. i was a stranger to myself and the voice in my head telling me that it was all alright wasn’t telling the truth.

it said to me that i was fine and i need this, but i didn’t. and i knew that, but i couldn’t tell myself that that was the truth of the situation. i told myself i was fine when i cried, i said i needed this when i cut, i told myself to do it when i tried to commit suicide. but i couldn’t.

i couldn’t ever pull myself to legitimately pull so much pain on myself that i was going to die all together. i did cut badly, but nothing so bad that i was going to bleed out. i was in nothing but a blur.

and i just kept pushing forward to something i thought wasn’t possible.

where im standing now is a family who acknowledges me enough and a small friend group of amazing people. i do still struggle so badly with mental health, but i have gotten better.

as for rob, he’s out of my life.

he has been cut from me for nearly 3-ish months now, luckily.

i’m just here to say, i know i wasn’t fine, i know i wasn’t happy, and i know i didn’t want to be here what-so-ever, but i kept pushing forward. and that’s how i’m keeping it. i’m going to continue to push forward.

i don’t have any intentions of stopping that goal anytime soon.

#<3

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