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real-kastek · 2 years

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Day By Darkened Day: Chapter 9

In From the Cold

The knife's handle felt slick. Cold, black, but familiar. It made you nauseous. A deeper kind of sickness, one that twisted your stomach and settled in your chest, a suffocating weight. The feeling choked your mind each time; days, even weeks spent hiding away from the world in an effort to pretend nothing happened.

But it did happen. Over and over. And it was happening again.

The night air howled around you as consciousness screamed back into your mind, your struggled breathes a whisper in the wind. You felt a crushing sensation in your throat as you sputtered for air. You loosened your grip on the knife; the instrument falling to the snow-dusted grass below in a soft thud. You recoil, eyes unable to tear away from the sharpened blade reflecting back.

You stifled a scream into your forearm. Your breath comes out in waves of steam, each gasp of frozen air searing your throat.

Don't scream, don't scream, just breath…

A mantra you had practiced more than you'd like to admit. You were never sure where you'd end up. Sometimes you had only been taken down the hall, opening your eyes to the darkened staircase leading down into the kitchen. In many cases you'd wake up in your room, another seemingly peaceful night spent dreaming. Then you would peer down at the wagon at the foot of your bed, the cage pushed back just a few inches more towards the wall.

Other times you weren't sure where you were. Weren't sure if your screams would be heard.

You continue trying to calm your breathing. Slower, slower…

The cold around you was telling. The air burned into your lungs, the icy chill running up your spine. The loose grey t-shirt and gym shorts you wore before bed weren't helping. The cold cut into you with each gale tearing across your body. Your arms and legs were painfully numb, only now beginning to send signals of agonizing cold into your mind. The shivering became more violent with each passing moment. You struggled for air, clouds of steam filling your vision as you struggled to fight against the ensuing panic.

"N-No, I, uh…I-I…"

Thoughts spilled forth incoherently. You couldn't control much at this point. You knew how your chest felt when panic settled in, how little choice you had in the matter. You felt trapped in your body, unable to escape the torrent of emotions and thoughts screeching in your mind. You couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't stop shaking. Frozen in place as the winter's chill stung once more.

You swallowed sharply. Ground yourself, sit down, touch a wall, listen for sounds, something, anything…!

It was dark. Your eyes slowly begin to adjust, the dim moonlight offering only short glimpses across the clearing. You struggle for information as you squint into the inky spaces between trees. The creaking forest basked under the light from above, each branch swaying under the wind's caress. Ice covered many of the leaves with shimmering frost glistening across each limb. The dense canopies hung heavy above you, swallowing up any view outside their domain. That's all you can see, you realize. You were surrounded, somewhere far outside of town. Your eyes continue to dart wildly, freezing in place as you turn to your side.

Iron doors reflected in the light. Bolts shining dully across their surface, the frame was buried underneath a hill of dirt and moss. Your gaze followed each vine that choked the front of the door, green tendrils crawling across the worn handles in a tight embrace. The entryway was a deep maroon, rust and ice blending through the bits of paint chipped away over so many years of neglect. You stared at the doors, watching the handles closely, expecting one to turn at any moment. Silence fell over you, the wind mercifully dying down for a time. The creaking of trees halted suddenly, the distant fluttering of leaves coming to an end. Your breath hitches, as if something may hear each shuddered gasp from your throat.

You force your eyes away from the doorframe.

Thoughts swarm your mind as reason creeps back into your consciousness. Why here? Where even was here? You were home, you were asleep. And now…

You're here.

You feel your jaw tighten, teeth clenching as you try to stop the shaking. It was a normal day today. Everything was normal. You helped your mom clean the house, you worked on your school project, hell, you even had a minute to call Asriel before going to bed. You'd been going to school more often, talking to people more often, trying more and more every day! Everything was going fine, better than fine!

You bring your arms around your sides. The cold was getting worse. You couldn't feel your fingers. The shaking won't stop. You close your eyes; you just wanted to wake up in the morning, to look over and see the sunlight streaming through the window at your side.

You open your eyes. Snowflakes drift down from above, burying the forest around you in another blanket of ice. Another wave of shivering takes hold as you tighten your grip around your midsection. You feel your knees begin to give, slowly lowering yourself down as you crouch inches above the snowy earth. It took every ounce of strength you had left to not collapse right there. Warmth begins to streak down your face, each droplet falling and melting into the powder below. You just wanted to be home. You didn't want to feel this way. You didn't want this.

You limply bring a hand up from your side, wiping your eyes and nose. The moonlight cascades over the trees once more, basking the glade in eerie light. Glancing back up, you catch a glint in the snow reflecting back at you. A shuddering sigh escapes your throat as you push yourself back up. Your knees ached under the weight, the rest of your body continuing to suffer from the exposure. You felt sluggish, energy drained out of you as you shambled over to the base of the iron doors.

Reaching down, you push away a dusting of snow, a black handle being revealed. Another knot twists in your stomach as your hands encircle the frozen grip, a shining blade being revealed as you drew it upwards. The nausea returns, a bile rising in your throat. The plastic surface burns in your hand, screaming to be dropped once more. Denying all good sense, you carefully place the sharp kitchenware in your pocket, flipping the blade upwards so as to avoid it piercing the lining.

You shake your head in an attempt to push the image away. You once threw one of the knives into the lake. Buried one in the back yard, hid another in a tree stump deep in the forest, even locked one inside the cage in your bedroom. Nothing seemed to work. Another took its place within a week, your mother complaining about them going missing from the kitchen's drawers. You had to keep trying though, over and over again. Eventually there would be none left in the house.

You kept trying, at least until you woke up with a new, unfamiliar blade on your nightstand, the handle whimsically designed to look like a festive candy-cane.

Another shiver runs down your spine. You stopped trying to hide them after that.

You look around, your mind dulling as you weakly search the area. Snow continues to drift down into your eyes, your hair collecting the icy powder with each passing moment. You continue searching, eventually spotting a number of tracks likely made in your journey out to the forest's clearing. You swallow deeply, pushing down the screaming thoughts in your head in an effort to follow the path. A soft crunch resonates in the silent air as you walk through the snow, your socks carrying much of the ice with them. Coming around the side of the strange hill, you note a clear path covered in meandering footsteps, slowly fading under the falling snow.

You continue to trudge forward, your head spinning. You had been here before. Not in the dead of night, but you recognized the strange bunker. You try to focus, to distract yourself from the journey ahead of you. You recognized the bunker, right? Right! Snowy and MK! They were huddled up against it, talking about what was inside. Then Susie kicked the doors and scared them half to death!

You feel a pained smile pull at your lips. She had your back even then. Even before everything else. She defended you. She could see your face, how the life seemed to drain from you when they were going on and on, saying how you were some kind of wimp for making up…

You gently bite the bottom of your lip. They said you told them about the bunker. That there was something in it? What did you say? You didn't remember making up any rumor. Why would you? You barely knew of anything so far out of town…right? You squeeze your eyes shut. Everything just hurt right now, you can't focus on this.

The town's church comes into view, towering above the tree line. Shambling further across the snowy field, you soon sense asphalt beneath your feet. Just knowing you were out of the forest was a comfort. You wrap your arms back around your sides, straining for any warmth remaining. The church ahead was dark, the intricate stained-glass windows barely reflecting in the moonlit night. Your eyes follow up the steeple, the Angel's sigil basking atop the building. You stare above, only to grit your teeth as another wave of dizziness crashes into you.

You cast your gaze further into the darkness ahead. The town hall encapsulated the rest of the area, standing proud along the forest's edge. Each step up to the formidable structure was covered in a fine dusting of snow, the roof's dark grey tiles now blending in with the pale marble. Lamps lined the streets, radiating an orange glow throughout the town. They hadn't shut off yet. Did that mean it was late into the evening? Close to morning? You feel your head begin to spin once more. You remember going to bed early, but how much did you even sleep? Exhaustion wracks your body as you continue to stumble past the forest's edge and into the town proper.

A rising anxiety grips your chest as you slink towards the sidewalk, amber light cascading down from the flickering lamps. You were at the opposite end of town. On any other day, walking back home from church was a journey you were plenty accustomed to. Traveling across town with your family was an opportunity to just breathe, to joke with your brother or try and convince your parents to stop for hot chocolate at QC's. You were never excited to go to church, but the conversations walking back remained in your memories.

Looking down the darkened streets, you now dread the walk back home. You quickly reach down, attempting to brush away clumps of snow still sticking to your socks. A dull ache screams in your legs, the chill tearing into you in every moment. Most of your thin t-shirt had been soaked with drying snow by now. The freezing metal of the knife at your side helped little, its icy presence searing into your thigh. Your thoughts were becoming more and more muddled as you strain to focus your vision. You were tired, you just wanted to sleep and wake up somewhere else.

You take another step forward, your sock snagging underneath your foot. You feel your head swirl once more, losing any sense of balance as the world turns around you. You instinctively push your arms out, wind rushing past your ears as you fall to the ground, the impact crashing into you. Another wave of agony throws your mind into disarray as you barely register the scrapes and dirt having torn into your forearms. A ringing in your ears screams out as you struggle to right yourself, limply flipping over on your side in a pathetic effort.

"Urgh…"

You groan loudly, trying to rise to your feet. Everything sends painful reminders back in response, the numbing cold seeming to pause long enough for you to experience the brunt of your fall. You slowly pick yourself back up, the burst of adrenaline assisting in your shambling efforts.

Slumping onto the side of the town hall, you check your arms and hands. You brush away rocks and dirt buried painfully in your forearms. Staring down you spot a number of gashes from your fall; the concrete having taken its toll in full. The darkness obscured most of the damage, but placing your hand softly against the site sent a jolt of pain back in response. You brush away as much dirt as you can, a painful chuckle escaping your lips.

"Couldn't teach me to use healing magic, could you? Maybe I wanted…" You straighten your back against the stony wall, thoughts quickly drifting away from the pain.

Ralsei! Of course!

With newfound vigor, you push yourself on, trudging through the dusted streets of your hometown. Shambling around the corner of the first block, you turn down past the librarby, its windows dimmed long ago. Your body screams for you to stop, to sit for a moment until the spinning comes to an end. Refusing to give in, you ignore the burning in your lungs as you break into a dazed jog. Within moments you're once more surrounded by the forest's edge, peering out towards the seemingly ancient brick structure labeled simply "School". Stepping once more into the snow-covered grass, you endure the burning cold long enough to stand face to face with a darkened window. Peering inside, you can barely make out the desks neatly arranged in rows, Ms. Alphys' vase of roses accentuating the teacher's desk.

"Come on, please be awake." You mumble to yourself, words beginning to slur.

This wasn't the first time you'd dropped into the Dark World uninvited, or at least unexpected. Sleepless nights often brought you wandering towards the mysterious realm, exploring the land beyond the castle walls. You enjoyed your time alone in the world, but after everything that had happened over the past few weeks, it just didn't feel right.

A pang of guilt struck you as you attempted to reach up to the darkened window. Ralsei was certainly accommodating in your frequent visits, but stealing away into his world without telling him felt like an invasion of privacy. As if a friend simply opened your front door and walked in. The robed magi would likely never object to your arrival, but bumbling into his castle in the middle of the night, half frozen with scratches across your arms, wasn't the best look. You sigh loudly, envisioning the prince still dazed from sleep, panicking at the sight of you.

"Sorry Ralsei…"

You line your fingers along the classroom window, jerking upwards. The window creaks under you grip, but doesn't budge. You pull again, digging your fingers further into the metal frame. The window remains closed. Panic invades your senses as you haphazardly claw at the window's base, desperate for any give. You fingers slip from underneath the metal, sending you backwards.

"Wha…come on, please, just…please!"

You edge closer to the window, peering in once more. Searching the base, you notice the latch securing the frame twisted to the side, locked in place.

"Damn it, no!"

You stumble backwards. Someone must have locked it before the weekend. You should've known they would check the windows after everyone was gone. Your eyes once more begin to burn as warmth drifts down across your cheeks. You feel your chest tighten as your breathing picks up, any sense of control vanishing into the night air. Home was still blocks away. Maybe dad? You struggle for air as your throat begins to choke. No, he was almost just as far. And if you showed up like this at his store…

A sharp bite radiates from your thigh. Wincing, you reach down, your hand gently forming around the side of your pocket. An icy metal traces along your leg, the blade's tip having come far too close in your shaken efforts. You grit your teeth, frustration bubbling into your mind. The presence hung mockingly at your side, another painful reminder of your current predicament. You carefully draw the blade from your pocket, hand gripping tightly around the cold black handle. Your eyes trace along its surface, the glinting reflection of your searing red eyes shining back.

You didn't want this. Whatever this even was. You were doing better, trying more, actually making an effort despite everything. But it just kept coming back, over and over again. No matter what you did, no matter how you acted, everything felt outside your control. Your breath shudders wildly, each bout of steam coming out in harsh bursts. You feel your grip tighten painfully, your sweaty palm aching against the plastic handle. Raising the blade, you take one last look into the metal's surface, a mocking stare meeting your gaze.

With a single sharp movement, you toss the blade against the side of the school, a deep cracking sound echoing across the silent winter scene. Your chest seizes, a stuttering cry forming in your voice. It would be back. Eventually. Maybe a day, a week, sooner even. But not tonight. Your eyes tear away from the shining steel, turning to the dark forest at your side. You had to move. You had to get home, there was no choice. You force yourself to action, stumbling over your feet as you shamble alongside the school's brick wall. Peering into the darkened field lining the rear of the building, you push onwards. Just move past the trees, cut through the forest, and you'll be halfway there!

Darkness surrounds you in your struggle to focus. You continue marching forward, vaguely registering the crunching of leaves below your feet. Shaking yourself back to reality every few seconds, you continue past the claustrophobic surroundings, the woods seemingly endless in your mind. Everything was spinning, each tree another dark blur amongst the background. Light barely shone through the dense canopies above, any illumination from the town's lamps drowned out so far into the forest. Another bolt of pain shot through your system, your arms and legs barely able to sense each branch and stumbling footfall bringing more cuts as you went. You were almost there, right? You'd push past this tree and see the orange lights of the road. Just keep moving forward and you'll be home in no time.

You just needed to…

Just past this tree, just a few more…

A sharp gasp drags you back into your mind. Not now, just a little more! You inhale as much cold air as you can, the searing sensation fueling what dwindling consciousness you had left. You brace yourself on a nearby tree, the bark's coarse surface keeping you steady. You continue using the trees for support as you shamble past in a haze. Reaching out once more, you find nothing to grip onto, the glow of a nearby streetlamp blurring in your vision as you lift your gaze ahead.

"Wha…uh…"

Your senses begin to recede once more as you're lulled into a weightless state. Refusing to give in, you stare down at your feet, watching as each leg brought you further and further into the road, the darkened asphalt a sign of hope. Just move one, then the other, keep moving, just keep moving…

"I don't…I-I…."

The weightlessness returns, a gentle peace washing over your pained senses. You didn't feel as cold anymore. Your vision blurs into a myriad of shapes and images, none mattering at this point. You just needed to take a break, that's all. You were tired, you just needed to sit down for a bit and you would be better. Just a moment to breathe and everything will be…

"Kris?! KRIS!"

You'd be back home any minute now, in bed, waking up to the sun shining at your side.

You were almost there…

"KRI-"

---

You felt trapped. Buried, bound. You struggled to breathe, to even think. A weight sunk into your chest, on your arms, your legs. The sense coiled around your thoughts, imprisoning your drifting consciousness. Panic erupted in your heart as you struggled against the impossible force. You fought, pushed away from it all, you would tear it away if you had to!

"GAH!"

You felt…

Sweaty. Actually, really sweaty. Gross.

Your head still spinning, you slowly open your eyes, immediately recoiling as light invades your vision. Blinking away spots dancing across the room, you attempt to raise your hand to your face, finding your arm ensnared at your side.

"What…?" You glance down, struggling to focus. You see colors swarming across your chest, a mountain of patterns binding you in place. You continue to squint. You were covered in…towels?

As you try to move your arm upwards once more, the bundle of cloth barely shifts in place, a dense weight imprisoning you. A number of fuzzy maroon towels haphazardly lay atop, wrapping around every visible part of your body. Glancing further down, you note a multitude of striped blankets having been thrown over as well. Towels, blankets, washcloths, two patchwork jackets, and…a floral curtain. You try to pull away from the mass, your movements only eliciting a squeaking sound from below. Shaking away from your haze, you look down, a fuzzy green couch having apparently cried out underneath the weight of your wrappings. This…wasn't your couch. You swallow sharply.

Feeling distinctly claustrophobic, you begin to peel off a number of loose towels and rags atop your hands. Sweat continued to drip down your neck and across your body, sticking you further in place.

"Hey hey hey! Cut that out!"

A clawed hand reaches out, flicking you in the side of the head.

"Ow! What-"

You wince, your words cutting off as you peer to your right.

"Trying to defrost you, idiot." Amber eyes lay upon you, impatience and relief creasing the face staring back, "Now hold still, think we've got a table cloth somewhere. Be right back."

"W-Wait, Susie?" You stammer out as the dragoness pauses with a huff.

You gaze upwards to your side, Susie's maw continuing to twist into a dull pout. You quickly glance at the frazzled dragoness, your mouth agape at the change in appearance. Standing before you is a mess of hair and scales, Susie's mane wildly thrown to the side, curling across her shoulders and close to her chest in a frayed pile. Dressed in a simple black tank top hanging down past her waist, the dragoness' typical torn jeans were now replaced with a pair of grey sweatpants, the cuffs of which dragged across the ground. Wasn't that difficult to walk with? How did she not trip over them?

You blink back to reality upon meeting Susie's gaze, fury beginning to well up in her eyes.

"So?" Susie stated plainly, a grumble resonating from her maw.

"Uh…" You struggle for words.

"SO WHAT THE HELL KRIS?!" The dragoness roars above you, "What were you doing out there?! It's like, negative a hundred or something and you're out there covered in dirt and…AGH!"

You watch as Susie flares her hands, throwing them in the air with a furious growl. The dragoness continues to stew for a moment, walking back and forth within the small space in front of you. Each stomp brings a creak up from the carpeted surface below, the fuzzy flooring covered in a number of old stains. Shaking her head all the while, Susie grumbles once more, soon coming to rest at your side. A squeak from underneath her sounds out as she settles into the crook of the couch's end, your mass of cloth firmly keeping you in the middle of the sofa. Silence rests between you two, the dragoness cupping her maw atop the palm of her hand.

"Say something already, goddamn it Kris…" You hear the dragoness soften, her voice returning to a dull rumble, "Scared the hell out of me. Go to take the stupid trash out and I see you about to lay out on the sidewalk, covered in…" Susie's voice trails off, returning in a pained whisper, "Looked like you got torn apart or something. I didn't know if I should call someone or…shit, I don't even know who I'd call!" Her gaze continues to drift to the side, avoiding yours. Susie buries her maw underneath the curls of her mane as you struggle for words.

Your eyes lock onto the carpet below you, listlessly searching for anything else to focus on. You wanted to hide away, pretend this didn't happen. That's what you normally did anyway. The aftermath of these…episodes, made you feel wrong. That whatever you were didn't belong around others. You would make up some excuse mostly. You were tired, that's why you went to bed the second school was over. You had too much homework, so you needed to stay inside this weekend. Sometimes it was just one day, just a little bit of time to breath.

Sometimes it was longer…much longer. Until you felt ready to come back to the world again. You close your eyes tightly. Harder to hide away these days. You take a deep breath, slowly opening your eyes as you stare ahead. You didn't want to lie to her, but…

"I don't know."

"What?" Susie's voice rumbles forth.

"I just woke up out there. Near the bunker, the one we went to a while back ago." You swallow down a knot in your throat, "I went to bed and then I was just…there."

You bring your gaze back up to the dragoness, her features emerging from under her mane. Susie's amber eyes squint down at the floor below, strained breathes echoing out from the scaled girl. Your eyes trace across her maw. Her features sagged, Susie's flowing mane now haphazardly twisting and curling in ways you'd never seen before. She looked exhausted. Your heart folds in upon itself as you listen to the labored breathes resonating from her chest, each one a deep sigh.

Your eyes burn. This was why you hid away all the time.

"So, like, sleepwalking or something?" Susie breathes deeply, steadying herself.

"I…I don't know." You whisper softly. A half truth at least, it'll have to do, "It's not the first time. Sometimes I'll just wake up in my house somewhere, or out of bed. I guess this time was just…bad."

The mauve dragoness leans back, resting against the arm of the couch, "Happens a lot?"

"Did a long time ago. Hasn't been that bad lately. I don't think it's happened at all since all the Dark World stuff." You sigh.

Now a half lie. Great.

"I'm sorry I scared you. Home was too far and I tried to get into the school, at least jump into the Dark World for a while," You chuckle painfully, "Didn't work out. Then I tried to cut through the forest and well…"

"Almost kissed the pavement?" You spot a whisper of a smirk on the dragoness' maw.

"Uh…well, already did that," You struggle to free your arm, shaking away a few towels, "That's where all the scratches probably came from."

You peer down at your exposed arm, an angry red graze marking where you attempted to catch yourself. You free your other appendages as you make an effort to stretch away from the cloth cocoon. You wince in pain. Everything hurt. Maybe Susie was right to keep you buried…

"Well, you're not bleeding. I wiped off all the dirt where you were messed up before covering you." You hear a mocking snort from the dragoness' maw, "Just don't go playing in the road for a bit."

"Wait, so you dragged me out from the cold, healed my wounds, and tucked me in?" You feel your lips being pulled into a whimsical grin, "Jeez, Ralsei's really rubbing off on you, huh?"

An annoyed groan echoes out from the dragoness as she rolls her eyes. Turning in place, she leans into your side, a number of towels tumbling down to the floor as she settles into the bundle atop you.

"Could still throw you back out there." Susie wistfully mumbles, nestling her back into your covered side.

You hold in a chuckle, careful not to disrupt the resting dragoness.

"Hey…" Susie's voice drops in volume, "Just…don't do that to me. Okay?"

A shuddered breath escapes your lips. You nod quietly. The dragoness grunts once, then leans further into you, pulling her legs up onto the couch and draping them limply over the arm rest. You feel the corners of your mouth twist, the silence between you resting heavily upon the room. You settle back into the bundle of cloth atop you, hoping the raging thoughts would soon drift away.

"Hey, your mom gonna freak out when she sees you're not there?" Susie carefully blows a strand of hair out from her face, tossing the voluminous mane to the side.

You nestle into the blanket wrapped around your neck, "She sleeps in on weekends. Sometimes doesn't even get up till ten or eleven."

"Cool." The dragoness states plainly.

Silence returns to the room. You look down, watching as Susie's chest continues to rise and fall, seemingly content with her human-shaped pillow. A pained smile curls upon your lips. It couldn't be that comfortable. The blankets under her twisted and bundled into dense lumps. You wouldn't even be surprised if there was a curtain rod buried underneath the drapes you spotted in your lap. Yet she looked…peaceful. Happy to just be here, with you.

You breathe out an exasperated sigh. Being alone was easier. You would wake up after another bad night, lock yourself in your room, and just be there for as long as you needed. Mom would worry sometimes, even Asriel would check on you. But you never hurt anyone, never scared them. Never walked up in a daze, covered in painful cuts and frozen to your core. Never forced someone to carry your lifeless body in the cold, scared to death whether you were going to wake up.

It was easier to be alone. But you didn't want to hide anymore.

"I'm sorry Susie." You mumble, words half choked.

"…it's cool." Susie grunts out, her eyes still locked shut.

"No, it's not. I screwed up and put you through all of…this." You pause, swallowing deeply, "I'm sorry you found me like that. If I had control over it or could lock my room or-"

"Dude." The dragoness' head turns upwards, hair falling to the side as her gaze meets yours.

"Y-Yeah?" You stammer out.

"Shut it." Susie's maw falls back into her neck, eyes closing once more, "I'm glad I found you. Freaked me the hell out, but if I didn't find you…" Susie voice drops away, "If there's something going on, I wanna know. I want to be…there. Ugh. I don't like you being out there alone, especially if shit like this is happening!" The dragoness's palms drag across her face, wiping away the thoughts in her mind, "So stop acting like that. I want to be there for you, even if it scares the hell out of me sometimes."

Your gaze falls back to the floor.

"Look, just…don't say sorry. I'm glad I found you. But don't make it a habit, got it?" You feel Susie's back bury further into your side.

"Okay." Your breath become uneven, "I'm just…" You feel Susie's head turn back upwards, straining to find your gaze, "I'm glad you found me too."

A short grunt rumbles forth, "Better."

You allow your head to lean back into the couch's cushion, eyes tracing along the textured surface of the white ceiling. Susie's rumbling breathes return, the dragoness settling fully into the plaid towels and floral blankets at your side.

"So, uh…" You feel anxiety rise back into your chest, tightening slowly around your lungs, "T-This is…uh, where you live?"

You stare out from your cocoon upon the couch. This was Susie's home. You were in her home. You swallow sharply, searching for any possible distraction.

You find your gaze drifting over to the side at a television in the corner, disc cases haphazardly spread across the stand underneath. The television looked older, though not as old as the relic preserved in your own living room. Discs lined the base of the device, several action movies and horror flicks colorfully advertised on numerous cases. Your eyes continue tracing across the room, noting a darkened hallway off to your side, illuminated only by the kitchen light close by. Each wall was coated in a dense collection of images, picture frames haphazardly placed intermittently among vibrant posters. Your eyes squint, the strange combination of family photos, framed drawings of stick monsters, and eye-catching advertisements for concerts now years past lined the surfaces. The scenery was chaotic, making your head spin upon each attempt to parse out what was in front of you.

But it was nice. Not pristine, not perfectly clean, not even sensible. But the smaller space was...cozy. People live here, even if they don't live particularly neatly…

"Huh? Oh yeah, you haven't been here before!" You feel Susie twist against you, her feet dropping back to the carpet below as she pulls away, "Well…uh, sorry about the mess." The dragoness sheepishly leans forward, rubbing the back of neck.

"N-No! It's great. Very…comfortable." A goofy smile lines your face.

"Hell yeah. Got the whole place to myself most of the time. I can just blast music and movies all day." Susie grins wildly, her eyes squinting in excitement, "There's even like, a hole where the kitchen is so I can watch everything while I-"

Your eyes break away from the loud décor around you, shifting back to a suddenly demure dragoness to your side.

"What?" You tilt your head trying to meet her gaze, "While you what?"

"Uh…well…" Susie's hands clasp together, one claw softly scratching at another, "I just like to watch stuff while I cook and everything."

You squint back at the dragoness, "Uh…okay?" You pause, realization quickly washing over, "Wait, you cook? Like, food? Toaster crumbs don't count."

"S-Shut up!" Susie's gaze burns into you, "Look just, simple stuff, like frozen meals and ramen sometimes. I can't do the whole baking thing you and your family do or anything."

A soft chuckle rises from your throat.

"H-Hey, cut that out! I gotta eat something!" Susie stammers out.

"N-No, sorry. I just…" You push down another bout of laughter, "I can't bake."

"What? But you and Ms. Dree-" Susie grunts quietly, "Toriel, you bake with her and everything, right?"

The wave of laughter returns as you struggle to push it down, "Well, I help. But I've tried to bake a pie before. It came out…salty. And burnt. And tough, like it was chewy and my brother almost hurt his teeth trying-"

"Alright, got it. You suck." The dragoness shakes her head, a faint smile resting underneath her mane, "Well, I got the place to myself. I can make whatever I want and I got a whole collection of giant monster flicks that would rot your brain!"

You try to hide a smile underneath the blanket at your neck. It was rare to see the scaled girl so excitable about activities that didn't require running from the local authorities. You watch as her fangs begin to flare, the sides of her mouth displaying each razor-sharp tooth as her amber eyes dance underneath her wild mane. Her scales glinted in the dim light above, her muscular form shining as she begins to wave her arms in an effort to accentuate each word. It was strange to see her without the heavy purple jacket and baggy jeans. Not a bad kind of strange, but seeing her just so…casual, it was nice. Your eyes follow along, watching as each scale reflected as she moved, tracing down to her muscular arms that-

You choke, coughing in a sudden struggle to breath. You quickly shake away from the lack of air, looking up to find the dragoness staring back with anticipation. Crap, she was talking the entire time!

"So?" Susie tilts her head to the side.

"U-Uh, so…?"

"So, do you wanna watch something? Not letting you out of here till day time. Not gonna have you eat the dirt again." The scaled girl crosses her arms, continuing to stare into you.

"W-Well, I, uh, I mean, are y-you sure? I can go…if you want, I can probably make it back…" You stammer. Not that you wanted to leave anyway. You force down another choking sensation.

"I'm seriously going to bite your face off one of these days." Susie lets out an exaggerated sigh, raising from the couch to stretch. Within a moment, the dragoness turns to face you, bent forward with her claws rising from her side, and sharply pokes you in the forehead.

"Agh!" You rub the site of the impact, "Fine, sorry-" You stare back up at the dragoness, her eyes burning holes into you, "I-I mean, not sorry, just…uh, never mind."

"Cool. You find a movie; I'll go make popcorn." Susie raises back to full height, quickly venturing towards the kitchen to your left, a newfound energy in her steps.

You sigh, sinking quietly into the mass of linens encompassing you. She really wanted you here. She was…happy? Excited? You gently rest your eyes, another chuckle rising from your chest. Not the reaction you expected after the night you had.

"Hey, short stuff, need help or something?"

Your eyes shoot back open, glancing off to your side. Susie's maw hung around the corner of the wall; body half obscured behind the kitchen's barrier.

"H-Huh?" You mutter.

The dragoness nods towards you, her gaze fixated on the mass of cloth atop your body.

"O-Oh, no, I got it." You begin to pull away a number of towels and blankets, clawing at each in a desperate attempt to prove you were actually strong enough to escape.

A mountain of clothing and linens rests at your feet in moments, the cool air encompassing your battered form. Slowly removing the final blanket, you glance down at your extremities, spotting gashes that would assuredly bloom into a multitude of colors given time. You begin to pull yourself forward, waves of pain radiating from each limb.

"Urgh…" You groan. Definitely not closing any fountains for a bit.

You shakily stand at full height, your body protesting with each movement. You stretch quietly, noting the sound of popping off to your side as a microwave rumbled loudly. A shiver runs up your spine as you peer down, breathing a thankful sigh upon finding your t-shirt and gym shorts still intact. If they were torn in your scramble through the forest, and Susie found you…

"You want anything on your popcorn? Got soy sauce, hot sauce, some kinda green sauce…think it's supposed to be green..."

You feel your face burn wildly, "W-What? Uh, n-no, I'm okay! Thanks!"

"Psh, boring…" The dragoness grumbles loudly, turning back and closing a cabinet above her.

You release a held breath. Thank the Angel for small miracles. Your gaze turns back to the nearby television, hopeful for a distraction from your thoughts.

"Alright, we got…Blood Blisters VI: The Blistering…Mecha Disastapocalypse…How to Punch a Sloth: Season 4…" You mutter quietly, sifting through the haphazardly scattered discs and boxes. Your eyes begin to glaze over as the dozens of vibrant colors begin to blend together, each image of spattered blood and monsters being suplexed somehow becoming a banal sight. "Come on, gotta be something less…loud." You continue to lazily flip over disc after disc, suddenly stopping as an eye-searingly neon pink view invades your senses.

"Mew-Mew Kissy…" You mouth the words in a whisper, each bit of text buried underneath a dusting of glitter and sparkles burned into the thin paper cover. You suddenly recoil, every muscle in your body tensing as images of the librarby's community board swarm back into your mind.

Cursed. Whatever you just witnessed needed to be buried quickly into the deepest reaches of your mind. For your own sanity, and safety.

"You find something?" The dragoness' growling voice rings out.

You jump, sending the film's case flying, only barely catching the plastic box before it slams against the television's stand.

"NOPE! I-I mean, uh, n-not yet!" You carefully place the forbidden material back atop the stand. Just don't touch it, it can't hurt you anymore.

You breathe an exasperated sigh. There had to be something less…well less everything. You continue to sift through the bent cases and loose discs, each one offering another blood-soaked, bullet-filled experience. Moments from throwing your hands up in defeat, you spot a dusty corner of the television's stand, a single disc isolated from the others. Fumbling to hook a finger under its edge, you eventually manage to turn it over, blowing a plume of dust off and into the air.

"Beatdown: Awaken the Dragon…?" Your eyes trace over the worn disc, noting two distinctly muscular monsters locked together in a fierce bout of martial arts. You squint down at the faded title, stifling a chuckle in your throat. Susie would hate you if you picked this.

Perfect.

You hear a dull squeak behind you, turning to find the dragoness precariously balancing two enormous bowls of steaming popcorn within each arm. She turns to you, mouth strangely bulging at the sides.

"Whuh?" The dragoness blinks, slowly chewing as her eyes dart towards your hand.

You squint back at the scaled girl, eventually shaking away from the image, "I uh, found something that might be good. Looks like some action movie? You'd probably like it." You flip the disc in your hand, facing the film's cover towards the dragoness.

"What is…oh screw you!" You watch with a wild grin as Susie attempts to sneer at you, mouth still inflated with popcorn.

"What? Seems educational." You shrug casually.

"Whatever, just pop it in already. Gonna be halfway through your bowl by the time you sit down." The scaled girl rolls her eyes, grabbing another handful of kernels.

Turning back to the television, you lean down, searching for a video player within the darkened cabinet. Spotting a thin silver device, you line the disc up with the slot. Motors whir to life as the film is brought out of sight. You stand back up, eyes staring out through the window at your side. Snowflakes gently fell across the threshold, each bit of howling wind carrying another flurry through the town. You crane your neck, spotting a single lamp continuing to bask the road in orange light a few floors down. A shiver runs down your spine, the flurry's tearing winds still fresh in your mind.

You turn away, quickly returning to the soft green couch, the dragoness hesitantly offering a bowl of popcorn.

"Thanks." The smell of salt and butter invades your senses, steam warming your face. Susie grunts, her eyes and hands returning back to her own half empty bowl.

"So…ever watch this movie?" You grab a single kernel, popping the fluffy white snack into your mouth.

"Hrmph?" The dragoness turns to you, swallowing sharply, "Probably. Been a while though." Susie pauses, "I've mostly been going through the Grave Giver series. Oh! And the Time to Stab the Future movies are awesome! They have this scene where this one guy pops out of a time portal, stabs another guy, then pops out of another portal to stab him again!"

You feel your eyes widen at the sudden outburst, "Uh, you really like movies, huh?"

"Well, yeah." Susie's claw drops away from her feast, scratching the back of her head, "I mean, who doesn't? There's so much cool shit. Old westerns where they blow away the outlaws, war movies where they shoot down planes, horror stuff where the alien gets shot up…"

You watch as the dragoness continues to ramble, her attention completely drawn into the topic. You feel a smile erupt on your face. You knew Susie could be…intense. But after so many years spent avoiding her in school, you never expected to find such excitement spilling from the girl. You silently chastise yourself. Note to self, ask Susie what she actually enjoys doing instead of passing out in front of her apartment.

"…I don't know, there's just a lot of cool stuff out there. Even the old stuff." The dragoness' voice pauses, shaking you away from your reverie, "I mean, like, what do you do? Other than be a nerd."

You squint back at Susie's beaming face. You begin to open your mouth, only to freeze. What…did you do? Mom certainly didn't let you watch blood-soaked movies, and even video games were a rare treat when Asriel was around. You quietly click your tongue. There was always your notebook. That was something, right?

"I…I draw sometimes?" You state, unsure as to who you were asking.

Susie stares back at you, a single eyebrow raised, "Like, doodles? Wait, what kind of stuff do you draw?"

You feel your throat tighten. She wasn't supposed to ask! Why did she ask?! You bite the bottom of your lip. What did you expect to happen, of course that's what she'd ask!

"U-Uh, well, I uh, I just draw…p-people?" Words fall from your mouth as you trip over each word.

"Huh. Can I see them?" The dragoness cocks her head to the side.

"O-Oh, uh, maybe? I don't know, t-they're just dumb drawings a-and…"

Visions of a long overdue book from the librarby burn in your mind.

"H-Hey! What about the movie?!" Your hands claw across the couch's surface, fumbling to grip the television remote buried halfway into the cushions. You force an awkward grin back towards the dragoness, handing her the controller shakily.

"…kay." Susie's gaze lingers on you for a moment, gently plucking the remote from your hands between two claws.

The scaled girl turns towards the television, giving you ample time to catch your breath off to the side. You quickly reach to the floor, grasping a plaid blanket in your hands and wrapping the cloth up to your neck. The blanket was warm. That's it. That's what you'll say if she asks why you're red.

The television flares to life, a subtle buzz resonating from the corner as lights dance across the surface. Two legs shoot out from the edges of the screen, crossing over in a sudden clash, the title of the film dropping between them. Hard rock blares from the television's speakers as intermittent screams of battle ring out. You slowly sink into the blanket surrounding you, the warmth settling into your chest and mind. You glance over at the enthralled dragoness to your side, her claw masterfully poking the miniature play button upon the controller. A smile pulls at the sides of your lips as you settle in, your breath slowing bit by bit.

Maybe it was easier to be alone. But maybe you didn't have to be. At least not anymore.

"HOLY SHIT, YOU SEE WHERE THAT GUY'S HEAD WENT?!"

Though peace and quiet every once in a while wasn't the worst.

---

The suffocating weight returned. You couldn't breathe, couldn't think. Darkness surrounded you as you struggled once more against the impossible. The darkness roared across the abyss, cutting into your mind and heart.

The darkness…snorted.

Your eyes flutter open, blinking rapidly to clear the sleep from your vision. Once more, color invaded your senses, blurring into a mass upon your chest. You blink once more, harder, clearing the fog from your mind.

The television was still on, a gently bouncing label now ping-ponging across a pitch-black background. Was the movie already over? Your eyes languidly follow over to the window at your side, now filtering a dull grey sunlight through the glass. The movie was definitely over, and so was the night apparently. A sigh escapes your lips. Tension flows from your body in one small moment, your back sinking further into the cushion behind you.

You woke up. Maybe not in bed, but still with the sun at your side. A gentle smile rests on your features as you swallow deeply, clearing a knot building in your throat.

Shaking further from sleep, you tilt your head, every attempt at pushing the hair from your face met with failure. You lazily begin to lift your arm up to your mop of hair, only to freeze, a weight laying across your form. You look down, finding a snoring dragoness curled into your arm, her face buried underneath her own mess of hair. The girl's maw rested comfortably into the blanket on your chest, her own scaled appendages curled around you in a tight embrace. You silently watch as each breath carries her upwards, a bellowing rumble rhythmically vibrating into you. Your breath hitches as you feel your face flare once more with a burning heat. When did she even…? Did you fall asleep first? Did she?

You shake your head. Not important. You stare back down at the curled mass wrapped around you, your eyes tracing across the purring dragoness. Susie's breathes fluttered across your chest, one arm coiling around you while the other laid flat across the downy blanket. Your eyes go wide as she begins to shift, her face nuzzling further into you with a single coarse grumble. You hold your breath and freeze, terrified any movement would wake her.

Your eyes resume their search, noting each scale upon her arms flaring in her quiet movements. They were softer than they looked. You were caught off guard the first time, when she wrapped around you in the Dark World. They felt smooth to the touch, even fragile, as if each would break upon being tested. Your eyes continue to draw lines across each individual mauve scale, dancing through each ridge and line. You expected them to be sharp or rough like that of a stony surface. But they weren't, far from it. When they brushed against your skin, they pushed inwards, bending and moving as the dragoness pulled you closer. It was…nice. In a weird way.

"What're you doing?"

Your eyes go wide, a sputtering breath breaking free from your lips. Your eyes refocus, finding your arm reaching out, inches away from the dragoness' hand.

"I-I-" You strain to turn your head, peering down at the fidgeting dragoness below.

Susie's maw soon forms from under her mane, her eyes peeking out from the mess of hair. In one swift movement, the dragoness retrieves her draped palm and waves her mane off to the side. A single huff emanates from her maw as she snakes her other arm out from underneath you. The dragoness stretches upwards, soft pops echoing from her body. Her arms fall back to her sides as she yawns loudly, each fang inches away from your face.

"You copping a feel or something?" Susie grumbles once more, her hand threading back through her hair elegantly.

"W-What?! N-No, absolutely not! I just, I woke up and, well, I saw you and-" An inferno threatens to bring your face to ashes.

"Uh huh. Freak." A satisfied snort erupts from the girl. A smile passes over her lips, soon replaced by the crack of her maw as she yawns loudly. "You squirm a lot in your sleep." The dragoness' eyes drift down to your side, soon rising back to meet your own, "Still sore?"

You grumble quietly, the dejected groan muffled by the blanket's embrace, "A little." You bring your arm out from underneath the cover, wincing as tender skin brushes against the cloth, "Yeah, definitely feeling it now."

Your head falls back into the cushion behind you as your gaze traces lines upon the ceiling. Could've been worse though. Much, much worse.

The dragoness grunts, "Probably don't wanna push it too hard for a bit, yeah?" You watch as the scaled girl shifts her clawed feet off the front of the couch, a hint of concern bringing her voice down in volume, "Heh, bet even Ralsei could kick your ass right now."

You roll your eyes, leaning into Susie's arm, "…thanks."

"For what? Popcorn ain't free ya know." The dragoness' lips curl into a tired smile.

"Thanks for caring." You gently close your eyes, a rumbling purr resonating from the dragoness' form.

"Yeah yeah. Not gonna let someone as cute as you die out th-"

Your eyes shoot open, tracing up from the scaled girl's arm to the raging royal purple breaking out across her face.

"A-ANYWAY!"

You feel gravity take you once more, your head falling towards the couch's fuzzy green cushion as the dragoness rapidly stretches to full height.

"H-Hey, you gotta, like, get back before your mom wakes up, right?!" Susie scrambles away from the sofa, brushing away wrinkles across her loose black tank top.

"Uh…" You mumble.

You raise back up from the cushion below, stretching against the couch's backrest in an effort to spot the kitchen's microwave.

Eight…no…nine? Or was that two digits…?

"Crap!"

You toss the blanket to the side, stumbling as you stand. A wave of dizziness slams into you once more, black spots manifesting across the room. The apartment shouldn't spin like that, or flip upside down for that matter.

"Hey, you good Kri-"

Your vision begins to fade, your legs falling from underneath you. You feel gravity's pull before arms shoot out around you, grasping at your frame and pulling you in.

"Nope! Not doing that!" Susie grumbles from above you, her scaled arms wrapping across your back.

Your head continues to swirl, inky darkness swarming your vision, washing over the world. The dragoness continues to support you as your mind dances.

"Th-Thanks Susie…sorry." You mutter softly.

"Damn it, I said cut that out." Her arms bring your closer, her maw burying deeply into the mess atop your head, "Hmph, still smell like apples."

Your head spins, senses leaving you as you break into a fitful laugh, a wheezing chuckle bringing the world back into view.

"Come on, I'll walk you back. I'll grab something for you to wear." You feel the dragoness' breath course through your hair.

That…sounded nice. You breathe deeply, an earthy scent invading your nostrils. You feel your lips curl into a gentle smile. It reminded you of clothes hung out to dry on a warm summer's day. You wrapped your arms around the girl, her own embrace pulling you closer to her chest. Another chuckle rises from your throat. Susie would kill you if you told her that. Told her she smelled like laundry.

She'd call you a freak if you told her how it made you feel less scared of what you still needed to do.

"I-I'm okay. I can make it back. I promise, I'll text you when I get back home, okay?" You allow the words to fall from your lips, betraying little emotion in your voice.

"Hell no! I'm not letting you fall in a ditch somewhere! Look, just let me grab my jacket and we'll-"

"Susie…"

You gaze up at the girl, a soft smile forming under your tired eyes.

"Kris…come on." The dragoness gently bites the bottom of her lip, a white fang shining through.

"I promise."

Susie groans loudly, loosening her grip on your back, "Fine. But I'm still getting something for you to wear. Unless you like streaking across town in your shorts."

The scaled girl's arms drop from around you as your legs hold fast under your weight. You watch as the girl meanders down the darkened hallway and out of sight. You blink back dots across your vision, your hair fluttering across your forehead as you shake away from the sight.

You'd make it home. You would. But not just yet.

"Here." The dragoness slinks from around the corner, tossing a solid black sweater and pair of sweatpants into your arms. Fumbling in place, the clothing unfurls, the sleeves and legs slapping down to the floor.

"Might…be a bit big. But I can help you roll up the sleeves if you want. Or you can do it." Susie scratches the back of her head, tousling her mane into another bundle of chaos.

"N-No, I got it. Thanks, seriously." You timidly gaze upon the lengthy pants, bringing the waist in line with your own. You watch as the legs fall down past yours, unfurling a step from where you stood.

You hear a snort ring out, spotting Susie's mocking grin reflecting back. Well, you would definitely be warm, if a bit buried. You quickly throw the sweater to the side upon the couch's armrest, straightening each pant leg in your hands before reaching down and jumping into the billowing leggings. Dragging each of the legs upwards, you grasp the ends and roll them up.

Once. Twice.

You sigh. You spend a grueling moment struggling with the material, burying any semblance of your human form underneath flowing cloth. Stretching back upwards, you reach for the pitch-black sweater, throwing what was essentially a gown over your head. With a sharp gasp, you pop through, throwing your hands down each arm-tunnel as the material bunches wildly.

You hear another snort to your side, your head swiveling against the blanket of cloth laid upon you. The dragoness was shaking, a deeper purple blooming across her features from the strain of laughter.

"Say it." You grumble.

"Glad my baby clothes fit you."

"Never mind, don't say it." You groan, heat rising to your neckline.

A roar of laughter echoes at your side. At least you were warm.

"Here." Susie reaches down, tossing a pair of worn tennis shoes your way, the rubber stained with flecks of mud at the bottom, "Should fit well enough, just gotta tie them hard."

You dejectedly kneel down, sinking your feet into the worn pair of shoes, tossing and looping strings until a triple knot proved secure. Standing back up, you breathe deeply, the ordeal having at least brought a wakefulness to your senses. You reach over to each arm, pulling the loose sleeves further up, only to be restrained in another firm hug.

"Text me the second you're back." The dragoness' warm breath flows through your hair, "I don't care if you fall asleep or whatever. I don't get a text; I'll break into your house if I have to."

You swallow deeply, "…okay." You wrap your arms around Susie's form, pulling her tightly into a final embrace. You close your eyes.

You missed her already.

You slowly unwind from the dragoness' body. You glance up, flashing a broad smile back. The scaled girl rolls her eyes, her head bending down to meet yours, her forehead gently meeting your own. You feel her warm breath on your face. A knot forms in your throat. The moment ends quickly, too soon.

Time to go.

---

Each step down the slick staircase felt heavy. You tightly gripped the metal bar at your side, descending back down to the snow dusted entryway. Cars rumbled in the distance, your gaze following back out to the parking lot ahead. The sky continued to drift ice upon the world, soft powder gently coating everything in sight. Most cars had been lined with frost during the evening, many piled high with days of accumulated snow. You bundled further into the sweater, watching your feet in an effort to avoid the occasional frozen puddle.

You glance from side to side. You knew Susie lived in the nearby apartment complexes, though you rarely ventured past the front entrance. You tilt your head, gazing down a darkened alleyway to your left, a myriad of colors painting each wall with rebellious messages. You squint tightly, expecting to find a thoroughly frozen bowl of milk at the end. You huff quietly. Why Ms. Alphys even felt the need to fill such a bowl was beyond you. There weren't any strays in town that you'd ever seen.

You bite the bottom of your lip. But then where was the milk going? Was it evaporating that quickly?

You shake your head, pushing past the entryway and into the lot proper. The hum of morning traffic echoes in the distance, a dull thump and beep ringing out nearby. Weekend or no, people were beginning their daily routine in earnest it seemed. A yawn erupts from your chest as you stretch your arms out in front of you, a soft pop signaling the extent of your reach. You lazily wander past nearby cars as you slide your hands back into the loose sleeves of your sweater.

"Dreemurr?"

You freeze.

"Kid, that you? What're you…" A growling voice drifts from across the lot, tearing you from your reverie.

You swallow sharply. Your neck feels heavy, all efforts to shift your gaze to the offending source met with failure. You glance off to the side, your vision soon filled with glimmering sapphire scales.

"Huh."

Silence fades into the world around you. Your eyes finally connect, a haggard dragon standing before you, keys in hand. You gaze back at the man, counting each missing scale on his face once more. The man shifted to the side, flashlight and tools squeaking against the leather of his belt. He looked…exhausted, you realize. His pants were wrinkled, no longer neatly ironed and starched. His grey dress shirt hung loosely, unbuttoned to reveal a white tee underneath. A long night? Maybe a bad night…

"Guess I did say not to be a stranger…" Susie's father mumbles quietly, stashing his keys into his pocket, "Just surprised it was so soon."

You struggle for words, unsure as to how to escape the situation without sealing your own fate.

Vernon sighs, pinching the bridge atop his maw, "That's uh…nice sweater kid."

Your blood runs cold.

"U-Uh…I…" Your mind falters in every attempt to force words.

The dragon's eyes remain shut tight, "My girl's, right? Recognize the awful stitching on the cuff." A chuckle rumbles forth from the man's chest, "Always had trouble getting her to file down her claws. Can't tell you how many times I had to sew her stuff back together."

You peer down, eyes following each haphazard stich across the sleeve, years of repairs holding firm. A hearty laugh roars out in front of you, your eyes tracing back up to find the man's gaze burning into you. The dragon's outburst ends as quickly as it started, the silence returning once more.

Well, life was pretty good. You met some cool monsters, played hero for a while, even had a chance to drive a car. In another world, but the experience counted! You breathe deeply, acceptance of death's sweet embrace washing over you. As far as last days on earth go, yours could've been worse. Waking up in the arms of a rumbling dragoness may not have been your expectation before heading to bed, but you weren't complaining.

"Look, kid…Dreemurr." Another exasperated sigh emanates from the man, "Is there…I mean, there something wrong? At home? I get family and everything can be tough to talk about, but if things aren't good, or safe…"

"W-What?" You stammer out, your first proper word in minutes.

"Sorry, not my business, I know. But if there's something wrong, if you don't feel it's okay to be at home, that's not on you." Vernon scratches the back of his head, claws dragging across ancient scales, "I know it's tough, but you gotta say if things aren't…right. There are people to talk to and-"

You feel as if the wind is knocked from your chest. Oh Angel and all that is holy, he didn't think that…

"N-NO! N-No, everything is okay! GREAT! Just fine! Better than fine!" You recoil, your voice coming out as a strained yelp more than a calming explanation.

"Kid, look, you don't gotta-"

"No! I'm okay! Seriously! I was just here because…" The words catch in your throat.

Vernon steps back, eyes dancing across your features, searching for your answer.

"I-I uh, I-I mean, Susie and I, we were, u-uh, just…"

"Just…what?" The azure dragon crosses his arms.

"J-Just…working?" You freeze, the words dropping from your mouth limply.

"…working?" Vernon's eyes bare down into you, his head tilting to the side.

"YEAH! I-I mean, yes. On the group project! We uh…we worked on it through the night. But I didn't think it would be this cold, so Susie let me borrow some of her clothes!" Panic swells in your chest as you curse every word that spills from your mouth.

"The…group project. Right." Vernon grunts quietly, "Right…she was working on that with someone." The dragon whispers to his side.

"Yep! S-Sorry, we should have told you…but we're almost done with it now! Just a few more…uh, pages." Adrenaline continued to course in your body as you prayed the rising heat in your face wouldn't be noticed.

The sapphire-scaled dragon leans back, the silence soon broken by the sound of his tongue clicking quietly, "Gotcha. Alright." Vernon takes a deep breathe, his gaze cast into the distance, "Well, if there ever is something going on, we're around. Don't know much about humans, but I know Susie cares about you." The dragon's maw tilts downward as he stares at the asphalt below, "It's enough for me."

"…okay. I mean…thank you. I'm okay. But, thanks." You feel panic begin to fade, a sinking feeling once more returning to your chest.

"Right. Well, I'm gonna get inside. See if there's anything my girl hasn't already eaten, maybe whip something up for the two of us. You uh…you hungry?" The man begins walking past your side, turning back around before crossing past the entryway.

"Oh, n-no thank you. I need to get home." You mutter softly.

"Rain check it." Vernon smiles, razor sharp teeth glinting in the sunlight.

You smile back, flaring your hand into a gentle wave. You begin to turn away, back down past the collection of frost-covered cars, back out onto the road itself.

"Hey." You glance back, the azure dragon leaning on the stairway's railing, "Nice shoes. Maybe bring 'warmer' shoes next time you go out so you don't gotta borrow hers, right?"

You vaguely register one last snort at your expense as the dragon ascends the staircase, your life having flashed before your eyes once more.

Almost had it.

---

Your hands trace along the frozen bricks, each indent of packed concrete roughly brushing against your fingertips. Just a few seconds, right past the off-colored one, and…

Your fingers stop, a notch in the wall's surface catching upon your fingers. Always in the same spot, a remnant of some long-forgotten construction worker's mistake. You continued tracing along the coarse brown material, each bump and ridge familiar after years spent passing by. The school was often times your home away from home, whether you wanted it to be or not. Classes, your mother's after school meetings, all of them an excuse to memorize every inch of the building's construction. A useless bit of knowledge in your mind, but one ingrained nonetheless.

You breathe in another bout of cold air, the sensation burning your lungs. The snow below you crunched and folded with each step taken, wind coursing through the fields behind you. You walk past your classroom's window, a spiteful look shot towards the locked hinge behind the pane. Could you have found another window? Another way inside and into the Dark World? You sigh deeply, the air becoming a foggy cloud ahead. Maybe you could've found an entrance had you kept searching. If you hadn't been so frustrated, so tired of…everything. All of it could've gone wrong. If your legs failed you in your dash through the forest, if you woke up even further beyond the bunker's entrance…

If Susie hadn't found you.

You squeeze your eyes shut, fighting off the surging thoughts. But she did find you. She found you when you needed her. That's all that mattered in the end. She was there for you, no matter what could or should have happened.

Your eyes languidly search across the dusted earth. You gaze falls upon a slick black shape piercing through the snow. You bite the side of your mouth.

Maybe Susie suspected you weren't telling the whole truth. Maybe she didn't care…?

You reach your hand out, brushing away the accumulated powder. Your hand clasps around the jet-black handle, polished steel glinting in the dull grey sunlight.

No, Susie did care. Maybe enough to not ask. Maybe enough to let you tell her the truth when you were ready. She cared about you. Even if you struggled to remember that, she wouldn't let you forget. You just had to remember. That was the hardest part really, just remembering throughout it all.

The blade shimmers, crimson eyes dancing in the reflection.

But it was important to remember. That it wasn't just you anymore, that you weren't just that kid in their room, fighting to feel normal. You just had to remember.

You gently tuck the blade into your pocket as you force your steps onward, back out to the road and back where you needed to be.

You just had to remember that you weren't alone.

#fanfic #deltarune #krusie #kris x susie #romance #friendship #angst #kris dreemurr #susie deltarune #original character #boy-do-i-love-writing-angst

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