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mocharoll · 5 years

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Hey! I wrote a thing (Dragon Age 2 F!Hawke x Anders, Act 3)

I’m near the end of my second playthrough of DA2 now and I had to scribble some fluff before I finished it, so I did something and thought I’d share it! Done in one sitting (sorry for any spelling-grammar mistakes) and I’m certainly not the most proficient scribbler, but maybe you’ll find some bits you’ll enjoy <3

This is what I had in mind with the Raven part, btw.!

Edit: Has a title now.!

Heart of Mine

It was terribly early in the morning when the beams of the new born sun shined onto the grand Amell estate and through the narrow space between maroon curtains, right into its resident’s eyes. Hawke groaned at the intrusion and flopped onto her stomach in a lazy attempt to escape lucidity. She frowned into the pillow when she couldn’t feel the weight of her lover’s shoulder beside her, or his arm laid lazily across her waist. She brought her hand up from under the pillow and let it fall onto the empty mattress. She made a confused sound and groggily lifted her head to look up.

Marian sighed. It must have been a while since Anders got up, the warmth long gone from the sheets. Although he usually woke up a bit earlier, he would wait for her to wake, burying his face into her neck and playing languidly with her hair, for the subtle change in her breathing and the slight shuffle towards him. Except for the days when he decided to make advantage of her being horribly ticklish. Then he would thinly blow air into the crook of her neck, or sneak a hand up to her waist and brush the tips of his fingers over the side of her stomach, wait for her to yelp and hope the pillow she attacks him with isn’t the frilly one that feels like a rock. They’d wrestle and frolic around for a bit, of course, the entire estate lighting up with their cackling and the other residents’ warm grins. Or maybe even a perfect wolf whistle and clapping if Isabela happened to be around. If they listened just slightly more carefully they would even hear Marian’s snorts that she often let out when she was laughing too hard- which happened quite often around her friends. This would go on long enough until one of the combatants finally used their head, tickles slowly replaced by wet kisses, and soon enough the Amell estate would go back to its semi-awake state of peaceful silence with an unsaid truce. This was not one of those days.

It was no secret that Anders had not been his usual self lately. He’d grown solemn and reclusive, nowadays barely speaking to anyone outside of his closest circle, voice rough and tired from speaking either too loud, or too silently. The growing tension between the mages and Templars wasn’t helping either, and Marian could see that he was barely holding himself together with the ever-present bystander who would sneer and mutter under their breath to the ragged apostate, the fool, trying to make a difference.

He’d began to see shadows in the corners, both from the outside and within, threatening the life he had built for himself and everything, everyone he cared about. Even during the squad’s weekly assembly in the Hanged Man where they’d play Wicked Grace and drink and laugh the hours away, Hawke would feel him tense every once in a while, looking for the tell-tale signs of his mood spiralling.

---

It was some time past midnight in the Hanged Man yesterday, when she glanced at his hands and saw that his grip on one side of the chair was so strong his knuckles had turned white. But soon after she pried his hand away, entwined her fingers in his and nuzzled into his shoulder, she felt his entire body tremble and the tension dissipated as quickly as it first crept in with a deep sigh. Isabela looked on at them in wonder and shook her head slowly. “I swear, Hawke, whatever magic you’re using to calm him down could bloody well knock out the entire city. Would make our job a whole lot easier, believe me.”

“They’re in love, Rivaini,” Varric would say matter-of-factly, leaning back. “I’m not sure batting eyelashes at cutthroats and smugglers would have the same effect.“

The pirate leaned in with her mug of ale at hand and smirked. “This is Hawke we’re talking about. You never know.”

Varric’s laugh was sincere. “That’s true.”

“Wait! Is he…” Merril gasped, hands covering her grin. “Is he sleeping?!”

“No, I believe they’re just-…” Aveline blinked. “Is that sound coming from him?”

“Judging by the way the poor girl’s shaking from laughing so hard I’d say yes.”

Anders suddenly jerked his head up just as it was about to fall.

“What,” he protested groggily. “No, I’m-…”

“Right,” Fenris crossed his arms, “And we just happened to imagine you snoring like a wild boar in pain?”

“Now that’s a horrible exaggeration, my dear Fenris. I’d say it’s more like… a dog’s or… a cat’s purr.” Isabela glanced at them. “A loud one.”

“Really? I found it to be more similar to the sound ravens make when you scratch their beaks.”

Isabela nearly spat out her drink. “What does that even mean, kitten?”

“Well you know, they really like it when you touch and gently scratch their beaks, and them letting you do that means they really trust you. But I suppose it sounds more like… I don’t know, a snort or, a fart than-”

There was a tumble and the next second Hawke was on the floor, shaking from laughter so strong she couldn’t make a sound.

“Oh, dear.”

“Someone get her up for Maker’s sake. If she lays there any longer she’ll be sick.”

“Is she even breathing?!”

“Quit with your glaring, Blondie. I can see you holding it in from here, you’re not fooling anyone.”

“I hate you. All of you. You, especially. And you. I’ll speak with you when we get home.”

“Oh, stop,” Isabela hoisted Marian up to her feet and winked as she walked back to her seat. “You love it.”

“Wha-.. You mocking me?! I don’t…” A kiss on the cheek. “Even know…” A kiss on the side of his jaw. “Why I’m letting you…” A kiss on his neck. “Drag me into this…” And just a flash of teeth. “I… Maker’s breath, Marian.” The lilting growl at the end made her look up.

“I’m sorry, were you saying something?”

He looked at her and shook his head at her oh so innocent expression, and then his narrowed eyes travelled down and up to her face again. There was that smile. “Nevermind. Minx.”

Isabela gestured towards them incredulously. “She did it again. At least tell me you’re letting me come with you tonight.”

“Oh no, please,” Hawke raised her hands in mock horror. “If you join in too it might just kill me.

Fenris groaned.

“Alright,” Anders coughed and stood up, slipping his arm around her waist. “Thanks for the drinks, Varric. I think we’ll just be leaving.”

“Agreed. There is work to be done on your sleeping schedule, dear.” Marian laughed and waved.

“Right,” Varric clapped and rubbed his hands together. “Now that the lovebirds are gone, how about a real round?”

“I heard that!” a yell from downstairs.

“You know I mean nothing by it, Hawke!”

And the night went on with all trouble forgotten.

---

Hawke smiled softly to the memory as she dressed, made the bed and opened the curtains wide. The sun was so bright today and the weather was so clear that it hit her right in the face and she sneezed.

“Bless you, messere!”

Maker, was she that loud?

“Thank you, Bodahn!”

When she was ready, she went downstairs and greeted the old dwarf and his son, asking if there was anything they needed from the markets.

“Oh, we’re adequately supplied at the moment messere Hawke, but thank you regardless. And my boy is working on the runes you requested as we speak. They’ll be ready in just a couple of hours I believe.”

“Enchantment!”

“Just so.” They said in unison.

“Thanks Bodahn. Also, do you know when Anders left home? Did he tell anyone where he was going?”

“But why, he’s in the library, messere. I heard him get up about an hour ago at dawn. He doesn’t usually come downstairs this early in the morning but he seemed to be in good spirits during breakfast. He’s been in there for some time now.”

Sandal turned to her, his face covered with dust from the runes, but the emotion from his eyes was unmistakeable. “He looks sad.”

“But as you see, my boy thought that something might have been troubling him.”

Hawke nodded, more to herself than at anyone else, and looked back at Sandal, who was still looking at her with meaningful blue eyes. The boy’s sensitivity to Anders’ emotions and when they were susceptible to shifts never failed to amaze them. Perhaps he could sense the fluctuations Justice created, or perhaps he was just better at detecting subtle changes in his demeanour. With his gifts, she and Anders suspected it was both.

“Sandal. Are you sure he looked sad? Or did he look worried like last time?”

Sandal shook his head determinedly. “Sad.”

The time period between the shifts had also gotten shorter, and they were more abrupt. Sometimes Marian would find that when he was perfectly calm one moment before she went and took a bath, only to hear the echo of his hurried footsteps as he paced back and forth in their house, repeating pieces of his manifesto he was formulating, then he would stop abruptly, and run to the library to write it all down. He wouldn’t lift his head for hours even as Marian came in periodically with a glass of water and a plate of food, looking over his shoulder wordlessly to watch him write in an almost frantic pace, but he always paused and tilted his head towards her general direction when he felt her lean in to kiss his cheek.

“Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

He always stayed up too long and she always woke up when the bed bent as he fell face first onto the bed. She would hear a soft hum of approval when she turned and ushered him closer to her.

And then there would be times when she assumed even Justice grew too tired to help his host recover from this, and Marian would find on some days that he had barely moved from where she’d last seen him.

“Thank you Sandal. I’ll go check on him.” He smiled brightly at her.

“Thank you.”

---

She walked slowly up to the library door and knocked with the usual rhythm and waited.

“Come in.”

Anders was sitting on the topmost stone stair with a quill, a variety of books beside him, and the pages of his manifesto’s drafts were beside and in front of him, some of them crumpled up. He was slouching, his elbows against his knees, his hands formed a triangle where he rested his forehead against the point his thumbs met. He didn’t notice her at first.

“Dear?” Her voice soft and barely there as if to mimic his.

He blinked and lifted his head slightly to look up with hazy eyes, focusing in recognition. He smiled faintly.

“Hey, love.”

“Hey,” she spread the curtains upstairs, enough to let more light in but subtle enough to not startle him. He inched his head away and blinked, but she could see his gaze clearing. “You’re up. And sitting on the coldest stairs in the entire mansion.”

He sighed, burying his face further into his hands. “I couldn’t sleep. Didn’t want to go outside either. Thought moving around the house, writing, would help.”

“Hm,” she gently nudged at the papers to make space, and sat beside him. “You know you can always wake me up if you want to talk about anything. I’m not exactly the deepest sleeper in Thedas either. A mabari bark or, I don’t know, a rogue breeze would wake me up sooner or later, so...”

He huffed out a chuckle. “Oh don’t I know about that. But still, I didn’t want to worry you,” he frowned again, “I thought I’d write a little. I’m still behind where I thought I’d be a week ago. I thought I’d be able to make progress but… nothing.” He glanced at her and saw that she was still listening, unimaginable warmth in her icy blue eyes. The corner of her mouth quirked in a gentle smile and she slipped her arm around his waist. He looked on at her in wonder, then turned his head. His hands were loose now.

“I thought I had something but… I couldn’t catch it. It’s not like last time I…”

“Lost track?” He hummed, straightening his back instinctively when he felt her hand trace soft circles on his back.

“You said it wasn’t like last time?”

He sighed. “Sometimes it feels like… an epiphany. The words come to me easier, I can untangle me and Justice’s thoughts and form them into something tangible, it feels like the links of chains or cogs in a contraption. Everything seems sharper, faster, compared to other days when I’m not even sure what or where I am anymore, it makes me feel alive but sometimes it… it feels like I can’t stop.” He looks at her. “That terrifies me.” He closed his eyes when her hand travelled up to his hair.

“Do you think Justice has anything to do with this?”

“I’ve been thinking about that myself, but no. While he might have… enhanced the effects, I’ve almost always been like this. Ever since I was in the Circle. Some days feel faster, some feel slower. I thought in time the lines would blur but…” he was looking at her now, tears in his eyes. “Now I can’t tell which one is real anymore. I’m just so tired.”

“That’s okay,” he didn’t even notice he’d moved until his face buried into the crook of her neck and he felt his tears stain the rich dark red fabric into a black.

“It’s okay. I’m here. I know exactly who you are. You’re the tall, mysterious healer from Ferelden with the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. You’re a fantastic lover, you’re ticklish around your neck and come up with possibly the worst darkspawn jokes possibly in all of Thedas. Your mother’s name is Catherine, the country you want to see the most is Antiva, your favourite colour is brown for some bizarre reason, you’re horrible at playing the lute but have a beautiful singing voice, you say you strongly dislike dogs, although you got attacked by one of your patient’s four vicious mabaris and I could hear your giggles all the way from Hightown. You’re Anders, the kind-hearted mage who broke his chains despite all odds, who fights for those who can’t do it on their own so they don’t have to.”

They sat together for a moment in each other’s arms, his slowing breathing against her clavicle. Then she heard him laugh softly. “What’s wrong with brown?”

“Want to take a walk with me around town? It’ll make you feel better.”

He nodded and she pulled away, her hands cupping his face and fingers easing his tears away. He shook his head.

“How… Why are you doing this?”

“Anders,” she looked into his eyes, her voice a whisper. “I adore you. You’re my best friend and my partner. I love you and I’ll always be with you. And I will repeat this until you absolutely, truly believe it, because it’s true.”

The ghost of a smirk played on his lips. “Let’s say I do believe you. What then?”

“Honestly, I don’t think I’d stop even then. Got me there,” she pulled him closer so their foreheads touched. “Do you?”

He closed his eyes. “No.”

She tilted his head up with her forehead, kissed his nose and then his lips. She felt him shudder and smile into the kiss. When she pulled away she saw that his eyes were still closed.

“I don’t suppose you’ll mind my efforts to try and conv-mphhf“ he pulled her onto his lap and swallowed her words with a kiss just like the one in his clinic which made them both forget where and who they were. Sometimes that’s all they needed. When they separated, Marian moved the wild blond hair away from his face and smoothed it out, all the while being smothered by kisses until she was squirming. There was that smile again.

“You’re incorrigible.” She managed as she laughed.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too. Also,” she gave him one more kiss on the lips and stood. “The weather looks so nice it’s suspicious. Might as well drop by the Keep to see Aveline while we’re at it.”

Anders’ laugh brought warmth to her cheeks. “Give me five minutes?”

Hawke nodded, kissed the top of his head and headed for the door. Before she closed the door she thought he could hear him yell behind her.

“Wait, what’s wrong with brown?!”

#dragon age #dragon age 2 #handers #anders dragon age #marian hawke #isabela #varric #aveline #fenris #mental disorder tw #overall confusing fluff??#mention of mental disorder #a very superficial one- i dont want it to be heavy at all #i dont even know if i *can* do heavy

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simonjadis · 5 years

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Pppst! Can you talk about your Dragon Age OCs? Who are your faves?

This is a phenomenal Ask!!

My Dragon Age OCs are Azaria Surana, Galen Hawke, Marcel de Serault, and Talyn Adaar.

With the exception of the Marquis de Serault, they are all mages.

[Art of Azaria]

Azaria is a bisexual elf INTJ. She is a mage. As the game establishes, she is both a bright pupil and a powerful one. I figure that Azaria always looked down on the idea of blood magic as a cheap trick to make weak mages stronger until she saw it do just that for Jowan. That was when she began to wonder what it might do for her.

Azaria has a pathological need to be liked. She’s a liar and a manipulator, but most of the people she meets end up finding her likeable and trustworthy. She believes that being a mage makes her better than other people, but didn’t voice her views while studying at Kinloch Hold. The one thing about which she never made any pretense was the chantry, Andraste, and the Maker. The Maker is pretend.

She’s not just a believer in mage rights – she has Magneto-like views of mages. She wants a magocracy because she knows that this is the best way to rule.

As a Grey Warden, Azaria was thrilled with her relative freedom, but aware of the cost. She seduced and deflowered Alistair because literally why wouldn’t you. Eventually, however, it became clear that he was too attached to her. His love for her and desire to remain exclusive, coupled with the knowledge of his heritage, made her gently break up with him. She forced herself to wait a week or two before taking Zevran up on his offer of a “massage.” He was perfect for her. He remains perfect for her.

Morrigan is not only a trusted companion, but her best friend. They share many values. Azaria learned shapeshifting from her, but knows very few forms and does not use this magic in combat.

Azaria named her dog Jowan.

In Redcliffe, she made a deal with a Desire Demon to learn blood magic. She would do anything for an edge against the Blight, and Azaria has no regrets. Her fighting style relies heavily upon fire and blood. She made Alistair and Anora rule together after she convinced him to conduct the Dark Ritual with Morrigan.

Azaria will never succumb to The Calling. In fact, she is determined to prolong her life by any means, and viewed Avernus as a role model in that regard.

Note: when Anders was with the Wardens, she boned him. when Carver was with the Wardens, she boned him. she has great taste. She also did the threesome with Zevran and Isabela.

[I commissioned art of Galen Hawke, but it was lost in the tumblr purge; I still have it of course; Galen’s model is Marlon Teixeira]

Galen is an ENFP and a true Disaster Bi. He’s not as powerful, skilled, or smart as Azaria, but he is outrageously attractive and tends to YOLO his way through life, even – or especally – after facing various family tragedies.

He mostly practices Force Magic in combat, as he trained in that in Lothering to avoid tell-tale signs of an apostate (if people find dead spiders without explanation, that’s one thing. Dead spiders and signs that the entire area was recently encased in ice in the middle of summer? that’s mage work). He grieved his sister Bethany and always wished that Carver were less resentful.

Galen’s mabari is named Hakkon. Galen is not religious, but he grew up with stories of the Alamarri and Avvar.

Galen romanced Isabela and Anders and Merrill and Fenris. I know that polyamory isn’t enabled in the games and I don’t even know if DA2 has a mod to that effect, but that’s my OT5. Galen also hooked up with Jethann and did the threesome with Zevran. Actually, it might be faster to talk about the people in Kirkwall he didn’t bang.

Galen was neutral on blood magic until the murder of his mother, at which point he asked Merrill to teach him. Carver was already a Warden at this point, and Galen wanted to make sure that he’d have every tool at his disposal to protect his family – including his found family. Still, he never really mastered the art or learned to control others – it just gave him an edge in fights and helped him to resist the blood magic of others.

Galen believes in mage rights but doesn’t set out to rule anyone. He might consider himself an activist if he were in our world – though, as a mage, does he have any other choice? He’s not very politically minded. He just wants for him and his friends and everyone they know to be safe and happy, but if he needed to do some magic-murder of some bad people, he doesn’t have a problem with that.

Galen flirted with Tallis. He’s a huge flirt – that’s what he does. Also, he got around when he visited Skyhold.

[I have no art of Marquis Marcel, but he’s a blond fop]

Marquis Marcel just wants to keep his ridiculous, heavily cursed hometown from being overrun by outlaws or intrigue or jungle spirits. He romanced The Wayward Bard, but his thirst for The Silent Hunter is noteworthy. Also, he hooked up with Carver Hawke during the part of The Last Court in which Carver visits.

[Art of Talyn]

Talyn Adaar never expected to become Inquisitor, obviously. She is a distinguished bi and an INTJ. She has a tendency to have somewhat formal speech – a habit she picked up because, too often, humans see their first vashoth and wonder if they can even understand them. She comes across as severe – and she certainly can be severe – but she is a good person who cares about her friends and the fate of the world.

I would say that Talyn is a little more powerful than Galen, but still lower on the magic scale than Azaria. She is a Rift Mage, though in combat she often wields lightning or Force.

Talyn had a casual relationship with Bull early on during her time as Inquisitor. Ultimately, she fell horns-over-heels in love with Sera, who seemed to be her opposite in every way. They married years later, and have matching wedding rings featuring a design with three gold bees.

Talyn’s best friend in the Inquisition is easy to identify – Dorian. Talyn and Cassandra have similar dispositions but different interests. Talyn has a great deal of respect for Vivienne. Talyn was never public with the extent of her dislike for Blackwall, but she regards him with contempt. His lies put her and others in mortal peril. She likes Leliana and respects Morrigan.

She of course secured the best ending for Orlais, with Celene and Briala reunited. Were she to magically read The Masked Empire and have access to all of the information contained therein, she wouldn’t change a thing. She also recruited the mages for obvious reasons.

She was one of those who hooked up with Hawke when he visited Skyhold.

Talyn had never really been religious in any way, shape, or form. She still isn’t, exactly, but after witnessing Hakkon’s spirit leave the physical world in the Frostback Basin, she realized that the Avvar may be theologically correct. Also, she chose to keep the Inquisition to serve Divine Justinia (Leliana).

Anon, thank you so much for asking this!!! (And I’m so sorry that it took so long; I went to bed and then played Anthem with my roommate before he went to work)

PS: the first time, I forgot to answer your question -- Azaria Surana is my favorite. Maybe because she’s my first, or because Origins is my favorite of the games.

#Dragon Age #anon ask #anon #ask #Dragon Age Origins #Dragon Age 2 #Dragon Age Inquisition #Hawke #Surana #Adaar

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one-of-us-blog · 7 years

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Mary Has a Little Lamb (TGG, Season 5, Episode 13)

Today Eli is forced to watch and recap Mary Has a Little Lamb, Episode 13 of the fifth season of The Golden Girls. A young friend finds herself in a tough situation, and Blanche finds herself with an unwanted admirer. Will the gals be able to spring into action to set things right once more? Keep reading to find out…

Cap, there is no need to apologize for the tardiness of your last Doctor Who review, given that this particular recap is incredibly late as well! I’ll keep this section brief, but let me quickly say that you did a great job with your recap of Kill the Moon. I was pretty confident you wouldn’t be a big fan of the plot that hatched, but I keep forgetting how much you dislike the supporting human characters this season! I’m looking forward to your thoughts on the rest of the episodes, as I think there are some bright spots remaining. But I had better delay no longer. Let’s head to Miami!

Buttocks tight!

Episode written by Harold Apter, directed by Terry Hughes

The episode opens with Sophia reading a sultry love letter that she got from opening Blanche’s mail. Blanche has been corresponding with an inmate named Merrill, and their passionate exchange has gotten pretty steamy. Despite the concerns of her friends, she sees it as a harmless fantasy to bring a man some joy. After all, Merrill is doing twenty years of hard time for armed robbery, so it’s not like she’s ever going to have to see the guy…right? Someone arrives at the front door, but worry not, it isn’t Merrill (yet). Instead, Mary, a local high school girl who they seem to know from her past cookie sales, visits the girls. Sophia takes one look at her expression, and immediately deduces that Mary is pregnant. This situation sounds even worse, as Mary reveals that she and the father of her child have parted ways, and her own father has kicked her out of the house. She doesn’t know what she is going to do, but the gals immediately offer to let her stay with them. Rose even takes Mary to the kitchen for some pickles and ice cream, a nice treat that isn’t connected to cravings. With Mary in the other room, the remaining ladies discuss how mean her father is being. Sophia insists that his dog is mean as well.

In the next scene, Blanche tells Rose that she missed something in Merrill’s last letter. He is getting out of prison the very next day on a technicality! Blanche is pretty panicked about this, but we’ll get back to the B plot soon. In the meantime, Dorothy takes an extra blanket to the bedroom in which Mary is sleeping, and tucks her in. Mary is comfortable here, but still feels so alone. Dorothy says that she needs to talk to her father, but Mary insists that her old man went crazy when he heard the news. Dorothy reveals that, when she found herself in the same situation many years ago, her own father chased Stan for three blocks with a salami in hand, but eventually his love for his daughter won out. Mary asks Dorothy to say with her until she falls asleep.

We cut to the next day, and Sophia is frantically hiding all the valuables, as Merrill is on his way over. Dorothy thinks that perhaps he will be a gentleman, but we quickly learn that this isn’t the case when Merrill arrives at the front door. “I want Blanche,” he insists as he barges in, ready to wait until she arrives. Dorothy nervously compliments Merrill’s letters, but he admits that his cellmate actually wrote those letters to a night guard. He simply changed the names. He tells the girls to call him Moose, endearing himself even further. Dorothy and Sophia try to lose him, but Blanche returns home before they can. She panics again when she realizes who he is, but with some quick thinking, they all pretend that she isn’t Blanche at all, and even attempt to make the fictional Blanche sound terrible. This actually might have worked, but Rose delivers one insult too many, and Blanche springs to her own defense, insisting that the fictional Blanche is gorgeous. This gives Merrill enough hope to insist that he will be back to see her.

Blanche decides to stay with her friend Janet until Merrill is out of the picture, and Rose wants to sign Mary up for natural child birth classes. Sophia worries about how much responsibility they are taking on, and thinks that Mary’s father should be involved. She gets mad as hell, and is ready to pay the man (and his dog) a visit.

We arrive at the home of Mary’s father, Fred. He reluctantly lets Dorothy and Sophia into his living room, and they all sit down to talk the situation over. Fred’s dog, Samson, stares down Sophia, which is enough to throw her off her game. Her compassionate approach to the situation is to say that Dorothy was a young slut, but that she didn’t turn her out of the house. Fred insists they have no idea what he’s going through. Samson eventually barks at Sophia, and she exits stage right, leaving Dorothy alone to finish the conversation. Dorothy shares her own story about being young and scared, but still isn’t sure how to make Fred understand. He says that maybe he’s stupid, so Dorothy adapts by borrowing one of Rose’s St. Olaf tales about a farmer, Neils, and his daughter, Fricka, who hooked up with the local pig breeder. Neils banished Fricka from his life, and consequently became St. Olaf’s loneliest man. The point is, Mary is sixteen, scared, and carrying Fred’s grandchild…does he really want to abandon her?

Cutting back to the house, we find somebody tied up, and it isn’t even Blanche on a date. Sophia has been roped to a chair, with duct tape covering her mouth. The other girls (eventually) discover her, and she tells them that Merrill did this. She had been sharing some wine and music with the man (dang, Sophia must really be desperate), but when she caved and admitted the truth of the situation to Merrill, he tied her up and took their silver and jewelry.

Jumping forward again, Merrill calls the house to speak to Blanche. He got arrested, and has used his one phone call for some sexy talk. Fred finally comes to see Mary, and tells her that he wants her to return home with him so they can work things out. Mary seems relieved, and father and daughter embrace. The girls all say goodbye, and Mary insists that she won’t be a stranger. Fred mentions the St. Olaf story on the way out the door, and the other girls all stare at Dorothy in amazement. Rose in particular is thrilled. Dorothy can’t take it, and ejaculates that she was desperate.

The End.

First of all, this episode earns some immediately points from the mere fact that Dorothy told a St. Olaf story herself. I can only imagine how delighted this made Rose. I feel like the main plotline with Mary had some potential that was never fully realized, but I realize that time needed to be devoted to the tale of Blanche and Merrill, which I found to be pretty amusing. I liked this one, and don’t have a lot else to say, so I’m just going to get to the point and give Mary Has a Little Lamb a rating of 4 poofy hairdos out of 5!

Join us soon, when Drew will share his take on Mummy on the Orient Express, the next episode of Doctor Who, and I’ll be back in a few days with my recap of Great Expectations, the next episode of The Golden Girls. Until then, as always, thank you for being a friend, and for being One of Us!

#golden girls #the golden girls #one of us

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cloudmonstachopper · 7 years

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biiig chiimquisitor update!

With a few cameos about my warden, Cloudy (and maybe about my champion Mishka too)

Leliana says something about Briala having had a past with Celenne and Chiim is basically like DIRTY COURT GOSSIP???? TELL ME MORE shameless

When asked who to bring along, it basically went like this: I can’t NOT take Vivienne to a BALL please!! And Dorian? Oh, he’ll love it! He deserves a treat anyways, I’ve dragged him through such “dreadful” areas. And Varric! He’ll be sure to wind some fun tales from the evening.

Chiim in formal clothes was amazing. But like. Vivienne trying to wrestle them into it. Dorian dying of laughter on the couch in the background. Chiim: WHY IS THIS JUST A SEVEN FOOT LENGTH OF BLUE FABRIC. WHAT DO I DO WITH IT. IS IT TO TIE UP MY ENEMIES? Vivienne: nO INQUISITOR THAT IS YOUR SASH AND CUMBERBUND M A K E R PLS They manage to finally get Chiim into the tunic. But they weren’t having it with the pants, Chiim won the battle and got to wear thigh-high travel-worn boots with like. Kneepads. Amazing. Truly a LookTM. Chiim fashion at its finest.

Josie: Before you enter the ballroom... you EVERY WORD AND ACTION WILL BE JUDGED SO YOU’D BEST BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR Chiim: sooo no jumping on the furniture like a goat then, I take it? Josie: *nearly has a stroke* please don’t

Empress: We look forward to watching you dance Chiim: *internally* “we look forward to watching you dance” yeah they just wanna be assholes and see how in the wooooorld someone dances with such ‘heavy monstrosities’ on their head hAVE THEY EVEN SEEN THEIR OWN HATS y’all just racist assholes what a pile of pricks Chiim: A pleasure. If you’ll excuse me *bows gracefully and scuttles away*

Chiim: So, Yvette, any FUN STORIES ABOUT JOSIE???? *nearly bouncing up and down in excitement* Yvette: oh, there was that time when we were ten- Josie: NO Yvette: or how about that time you accidentally melted- Josie: STOP Yvette: or that time you spilt sauce all over- Josie: YveTTE Yvette: she still plays with her dolls when no one’s looking!! Josie: *covering yvette’s mouth and laughing* I DON’T KNOW WHAT SHE’S TALKING ABOUT

Apparently full white masks were used in orlesian theater for roles with no clear gender. I mean I know they’re talking about spirits. But. I’m just saying. If Chiim had an orlesian mask, it would be a full white one.

Chiim: oh look, cullen is surrounded by ladies. Ladies: would you like a drink? a dance? Cullen: No thank you, I’m not thirsty. Chiim: and he has no idea they’re flirting with him in the SLIGHTEST. I’d best go save him.

Chiim: *wandering the balconies* an awful lot of drinks and bottles scattered around on this table for an empty balcony... hrm... I SUSPECT A MEETING HAS OCCURRED HERE it later turned out that’s where gaspard hangs out so he probs met with florianne there

Chiim: these elvhen servants are literally leaving blood tracks behind I mean seriously????? even I can tell???? I thought the game was supposed to be subtle

Dorian: *reminiscing about tevinter balls* It’s lacking only a few sacrificial slaves and some blood magic! But the night IS young Chiim: *just raises eyebrow* Dorian: ooh, but you ought to dance with me before we go Chiim: *is SO OVER IT bc still reeling from WOW ORLESIAN ASSHOLES* hm Dorian: *cajoles* Chiim: okay, m a y b e Dorian: you sure you don’t want to dance with the evil magister? it’d certainly be s h o c k i n g~ Chiim: mmm tempting Dorian: if you could find me ten silk scarves I’ve got a dance that would REALLY shock them *wink wonk* Chiim: good thing I’m a rogue and every lady is wearing twenty-seven then, I’ll be back in a jiffy ;D

Chiim: psssst dorian, distract everybody in this courtyard while I climb this terrace! Dorian: that’ll need to be quite a big distraction then, to pry everyone away from the qunari inquisitor, IN dress clothes, climbing a terrace during the great ball NOT TO MENTION providing everyone with a great view of dat ass Chiim: so? Dorian: already on it dear

Leliana’s obsession with shoes is very intelligent and I love her. In other news: !!!!!! M O R R I G A N AHHHHHH

Chiim: *is impatient and jumps on a couch to reach some incriminating papers on the table* Courtiers: ooh that inquisitor, he must have some sort of... strength to make up for his BOORISH manners *loses a point of approval* Chiim: Josie’s gonna kill me

Chiim plays the politics game, does really nice. Back at the keep everyone is like !!! wow, I was really impressed!! I didn’t know you could pull that off???? Chiim: heh, yeah, Dorian and Vivienne and Leliana coached me in niceties and playacting (and Leliana in some added ShenanigansTM) Josie: AND YOU STILL JUMPED ON THE FURNITURE Chiim: *deadpan* you can take the ox outta the qunari, but you can’t take the gOAT OUTTA THE CHIIMQUISITOR *runs* Josie: *proceeds to ream chiimquisitor out for approx. 2hr*

Florianne: do you know who can be trusted? Chiim, a person who naturally trusts almost everyone and is weak to growing attached to people: *lies through their teeth* if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s to trust no one

At the ball, and Josie’s all “ohooo! You’ll be the talk of the court for months! We should take you dancing more often!” Chiim: clearly she hasn’t heard about my furniture jumping escapades yet

“Are we going to sneak around the empress’ unmentionables NOW? haha, just how drunk are you, boss?” Varric has officially adopted the Chiimquisitor #CONFIRMED

Chiim: *hears screams for help in the next room* Chiim: *busts into next room, finds harlequin assassin about to take out an elf* Chiim: *just straight up KICKS THE HARLEQUIN OUT THE WINDOW NBD* Chiim: Are you okay? Sorry bout that, my protection instincts kicked in and I just... well. I did say they *kicked* in. Heh. Heheheheh. Varric: Andraste’s bloomers but that was a bad one

Chiim: *fucks things up and talks to morrigan and feels SLIGHTLY better bc liason but also fucked up things for the elves* Dorian: *side-eyes morrigan SO HARD as he walks in WHO IS FLIRTING WITH HIS CHIIMQUISITOR N O W GDI* Dorian: so you charmed the dowager and she wants to marry you to one of her daughters. Told her you’d already left Chiim: (oh thank god) Dorian: You can thank me later. Or now. But you look lost in thought. Something on your mind? Chiim: I fucked up, Dorian. I fucked up bad and now I’m sad but I’ve made the best of a shitty situation. *hunches in on themselves, sighs* Dorian: clearly you need to be distracted. Let’s dance? Chiim: *isn’t a dancer, is so OVER dancing, and the game, and all this shit, but... maybe it’s what they need, and they’ll give it a shot... for Dorian* Chiim: *looks up and tries a smile* I thought you’d never ask.

Chiim gets back to skyhold and IMMEDIATELY mother giselle is all up in everybody’s business and like INQUISITOR CAN I HAVE A MOMENT Chiim, internally: LET ME MOURN MY FUCKUP. LET ME MOURN IT IN PEACE. Chiim: *sighs and puts on a placating smile and tone* How can I help you, revered mother? ... Josie: yes, and we’ll take care of it LATER right now give the Chiimquisitor a BREAK Chiim: bless u, josie. b l e s s y o u

Chiim immediately bonds greatly with Morrigan, mostly over talking about her son. Chiim likes her son. Morrigan is a bit cagey about him, but also likes to talk about him. She’s a proud mother.

(Fun fact: Keiran is probs also trans because Cloudy is dfab and had babbu with Morrigan which means SHENANIGANS were at play and what I’m saying here is that Keiran takes after his trans father) (Speaking of Cloudy shenanigans, he and Zevran have a daughter. She is very cute. During the pregnancy Cloudy refused to see anyone and they disappeared off the map for about 9 months. But afterwards Cloudy comes back and is like !!!!! LOOK AT THIS SMOL!!! I MADE HER!! Zevran helped I guess WOW SHE’S SO CUTE AND GREAT AND SMART) (she grows up to be an absolute terror. Daughter of the warden commander and the leader of the antivan crows, daughter of TWO rogues, one of whom doubles as an assassin? oh pranks and things going missing FOR D A Y S ON END shenanigans never stop) (I have a lot more hcs and things about Cloudy & Zevran’s child - who has a ~mysterious~ older half-brother in keiran - but this is a chiimquisitor post so we continue with the chiimquisition) (sidebar mishka and anders don’t have any kids of their own but they totally adopt like every single child, dog, and cat that comes anywhere near them, their house is super big and always crazy and it’s fantastic; there’s also a chicken. The kids named the chicken cupcake. Main suspects for the chicken’s origin is Aunt Merrill but there have been no confirmations.)

Chiim: Will his... father, be joining us as well? Morrigan: *thinks about cloudy gallivanting off with zevran for a cure to the calling* tis... most unlikely (At that point in time, Cloudy was also experiencing the feeling of the fake calling, but was pregnant with daughter, and just blamed it on the hormones. And Zevran, of course, being neither a warden nor someone who experiences the monthly upheaval that is periods let ALONE pregnancy, just takes his word for it. Sigrun acts as their cover story, telling everyone’ they’re off investigating the calling. Totally works.) (There’s a reason Cloudy’s letter to the inquisition basically read “sounds cool but not my fight have fun I’ll vaguely support from a distance”)

Josie: so. Uh. After the events at the grand ball, apparently Florianne’s trade routes got all tied up, so they sent her over for... judgement. Chiim: Are you SERIOUS??? She’s dead! Box: *flies buzz* Josie: ...and that was the time allotted for a rebuttal. There is- forgive me. *coughs* there is... an odor. Chiim: *clears throat* WHAT FRESH LEVEL OF BULLSHITTERY Chiim: anyways I guess there’s a precedence for this so let’s just send the routes back to them aND GET RID OF THAT BOX (Chiim has clearly been spending Way Too Much time in the library with Dorian if they know about this rANDOMASS PRECEDENCE)

Chiim: I’m worried about my gardening buddy, Blackwall. Josie: Oh? Why’s that? Chiim: he took me out for drinks and then told me about how a dog was killed in his childhood and he didn’t do anything about it???? and then he got weirdly quiet and just left???? like Blackwall. What. The fuck????? Josie: that is strange Chiim: he left a letter on his rockinggriffon. I’m gonna track him down. Josie: please do. I worry about him sometimes.

(side note: if blackwall ever finishes that rockinggriffon it can be a baby shower gift for Cloudy & Zevran and their new bundle of joy heh)

Cassandra: blah blah divine I don’t know what to do but I know what i SHOULD do Chiim: hold up, if neither of you are priestesses and you can be divine, why can’t I be the divine? Cassandra: Well, you’re a man, for one. Plus I think they’re afraid of you. Chiim: Cassandra. My dear. It was a joke. I’m an atheist, tal-vashoth qunari. You couldn’t PAY me enough to be the divine.

(In all honesty though Chiim would have made for a fantastic scout, like WHO decided Chiim ought to be in charge of Politics and all these Important Things???? Cassandra why are we letting u make these decisions)

Sera: Ugh, that place. Should have thrown in some bees and slammed the door. Chiim: I dunno, seems more like a job for earwigs to me. Sera: Y E S

Chiim: *hanging out on the roof* Hey, Sera, what do you think of Dorian? Sera: You’re having it off with him, you don’t need me talking. (But I do anyway ;D) Chiim: *laughs* more than one thing is having off when I’m with him, harr harr Sera: Ew, gross! *laughs and happily bumps shoulders with Chiim*

So you know how elfroot has been lore/meta confirmed for being a recreational drug? And you know how it’s confirmed that the inquisitor has a strange obsession with it? Yeah, well only those in the inner circle know how laughable it is that Chiim indulges in the stuff: the only indulging happening here is haPPY GARDENING. heh.

Chiim: *talks to solas, mentions how much they’re torn up about briala* Solas: ... what? why do I care? oooh the elf thing, yeah, I don’t think of myself as an elf so... Chiim: I try to have a moment, why do i even try, it’s SOLAS, he’s a shitbag...

Chiim: What’s your thoughts on elvhen culture? Solas: ... ask Sera, she’s got... opinions. Chiim: I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS SERA BASHING YOU RUDEASS SHITHOLE Solas: sorry. I’m just... jealous. Sorry. Chiim: damn right.

ps when Chiim was first learning to be an assassin 100% they would stealth, sneak up behind unsuspecting companions, stab them in the ankle with a butter knife and yell “I STAB U IN THE LEG AND ABSCOND” and laugh hysterically as they run away Dorian is just standing there like “did u just poke me with your fingernail??”

Vivienne wants the heart of this wyvern, and won’t tell Chiim what for... Chiim is slightly suspicious, but is gonna do it anyways. Meanwhile, I’m sitting here like THIS BETTER NOT BE AN ANDERS BETRAYAL AGAIN DOn’T YOU DO THAT TO ME VIVIENNE

Dorian: and now you’ve got an empress eating out of your hand, makes for a perfect mental image Chiim: (dorian what are you thinking??? is this a kink thing????) Dorian: all this dancing, murder, politics, almost makes me a bit homesick Chiim: so we should do that kind of thing again? Dorian: watch as you twist an entire empire around your little finger? *bedroom voice* ABSOLUTELY. Chiim: so it.... IS a kink thing??? I don’t get it, but ok. ... Chiim: wanna makeout against this dragon statue over here? Dorian: sure, I’m down Chiim: nice

#chiimquisitor #secret gardener's club #only a tiny bit but still #da #dai #cloudy cousland #since I've got that lil dao bit

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