#I love tjis feeling

[piratadelamor]

skip and loafer ch. 53

shima seems to see romantic love as a combination of different attraction factors, where liking someone as a person (for their personality) can be compensated for other things, therefore your standarts are lower when you're romantically attracted to someone. the way he sees it, the highest form of steem you can have for someone is to like them as a person, where these other factors don't matter and what you truly value is solely their personality.

i think it's interesting how mukai introduces this conversation by building a hierarchy of feelings, where romantic love stands on top of the feelings of friendship and of liking someone as a person, because that's one concept i've been personally focusing on deconstructing in my life. it's precisely by differenciating these types of feelings and putting them on a hierarchy that so many people end up in romantic relationships with people they don't really like, or why so many people drift away from their friendships when they start dating someone.

through everyone else's eyes, shima's feelings are romantic, and he doesn't feel like they are, because romance to him means something else. the lines between liking someone as a person, as a friend and as a lover are blurred. and listen, that's how they're supposed be. to love someone as a lover is supposed to mean you love them as a friend and as a person as well. a friend and a lover shouldn't be too different, and liking them as a person is supposed to be the core of both feelings.

i don't think shima is being innocent, like i've seen so many people saying on twt since the chapter came out. i think he's touching something very deep about relationships in our society that so many stories that focus on romance fail to address. in most of these stories, romance is the final goal. that's where most of them end. that's not the case here. i was already surprised when mitsumi and shima started dating, and even more surprised when they went back to being friends. that's not the usual narrative for this kind of story. because here, it doesn't seem like this hierarchy matters. and i think it's beautiful and i think it's HUGE how both shima and mitsumi value their friendship above everything else. not only them, because friendship is one of the main themes of this story. both as a dynamic and as a type of love as well.

but people have different perspectives on love and how love feels for them. it's different for mitsumi, for shima, for mika, for fumi. the way you're taught about love in your family or as a child in general has a big role on shaping that. we saw the matter of mitsumi having received lots of love in her family and childhood friends being brought up before as an explanation for her confidence. then, on the other hand, that's why we see shima acklowledging this on the next panels:

we know a few things about shima's family and their complicated relationships. shima never realized his little brother liked him because he saw his behavior as coldness or indifference, when he was actually being considerate of the distance shima was putting between them himself. he felt the need to please his mother by acting in order for her to love him, or for him to be worthy of her love, because their relationship was too anchored on exploitation. his father was having an affair, which not only made shima watch the failure of his parents marriage but also perceive romantic love as something superficial (as in "people break up and move on to the next person") and possibily as something that pushes people away. then shima's first girlfriend only liked him because of his looks, and so many others confessed to him without barely even knowing him. how could shima trust his own feelings after all of that? if he spent most of his formative years in an environment of appearences where love was tied to selfishness, interest, volatility, coldness, pain? shima learned to supress all his feelings and be a people pleaser as a survival mechanism. don't get too attached, live up to others expectations, keep your distance, smile and wave, bottle it all up. he is a kid that doesn't know a single thing about love and is scared as hell of it. love feels as if something is about to break.

that's why liking someone as a person feels more important to him. and that's not only the highest feeling he can have for someone else, i think this is the highest form of feeling he thinks someone could have for him too. it's the kind of feeling he thinks his own mother couldn't have, because acting was more important to her than who he actually was. it's the feeling he unconciously doesn't allow others to feel for him, because he never shows people who he truly is. so shima understands mitsumi's words as a love confession back in chapter 41. she didn't say "i love you", she said "that's what i love about you". and he asks her out, not only because he already knows mitsumi is different, so it seems more reasonable to give it a try, but also because he thinks this is how it's supposed to go. this is what he thinks it's expected to give her in return.

when society puts romance on the top of the relationships/feelings hierarchy, it builds an insane amount of expectations around it. i think it's crazy how friendships feel so free while romantic relationships feel so enclosured. they have too many rules. you're supposed to do this, and that, and behave in certain ways. if you start dating a friend then suddenly your friendship dynamic changes. a boyfriend or a girlfriend have responsibilities that friends don't have. it's a weight. i can't imagine a person like shima feeling any other way about a romantic relationship. for him, this is a big, big weight. that's why he puts an emphasis when he says "i thought that i could be a 'boyfriend' too". a boyfriend is a social role. when he phrases it like that, he's using the word "boyfriend" as an outside concept: he doesn't know what it means to him, he only knows what it means for everyone else. and that's not something he can do.

mukai is absolutely right when he tells shima he shouldn't be going out with anyone. shima isn't ready to be that close to anyone, not even his closest friends. i can't even describe how sad i felt when mukai said this to him:

shima is just so, so lonely...

but this doesn't mean that shima's supposed to become ready to be a "boyfriend" on those terms. i just think he's still trying to figure out what all of these things mean to him. and the good thing is that mitsumi is also trying to figure out these things too. the difference between them is that mitsumi is a few steps ahead, because she already understands what friendship love feels like. and when it comes to that, she gave us one of the most special love confessions i've ever seen.

so many people talked about this scene already, but now, in the light of chapter 53, her saying "i really like this person" has a whole new meaning. this is the most honest love shima has ever received from anyone. no romantic confession could top that. no romantic feeling could heal his wounds the way these words from mitsumi can. this is a treasure shima can't afford to lose.

we're taught that romantic love will save us. that it will make us the happiest, that it completes us. we grow up believing that we can't survive without it. what we really can't survive without are our friends... skip and loafer is putting friendship above everything else, but more than that, it is questioning how romantic love is supposed to feel. some people feel it, some people don't. i think most of us don't really know what it is. we think we do because we read enough, we saw enough movies, we listened to enough love songs. i think i felt it a few number of times in my life but everytime i felt it for someone new i asked myself, was it really love before? what is it, really? if i never read those books or saw thoses movies or listened to those songs. would i recognize it? would i know it better? would it even exist?

aren't shima's feelings for mitsumi already valuable enough? big enough, true enough? would they change if he called them romantic? mitsumi has SO much to teach him about love, about himself, about others. their encounter is so beautiful and so rich. we see how much he's changing, how many new things he's finally starting to understand about himself, how many important steps he's taken since they met. is finding romance at the end really the most important thing for their story?

#skip and loafer #skip to loafer #PHEW OK ALRIGHT I DONT KNOW WHERE ALL OF TJIS CAME FROM BUT HERE IT IS #yes i do hope they get together i do want then to say i love you i do love the blushes and everything i just really #appreciate the way this theme is being approached in a non linear way #and probably it will end with them being together but not as a final goal but as a consequence of the goal which is #learning about themselves and their feelings and about relationships and frienships and growth and communication and human complexity #aaaaa #bea talks

[tox-tea]

The Flower Crown Martial God : His Highness Xie Lian (click for higher res)

#have I mentioned I love this man cause i love him so much #watch out hua cheng im coming for your spot as number 1 worshipper #xie lian unlocks my art skills in a way I simply dont understand but im excited about it #this piece was just me in my feelings about xie lians weapons and the stories attached to them #the idea of ruoye all wrapped all around him was such an interesting idea for the composition #was supposed to be a warm up sketch but xie lian decided that actually tjis was going to be fully rendered #xie lian #ruoye #tgcf #mxtx #tian guan ci fu #heaven officials blessing #fangxin #tgcf fanart #fanart #my art #digital art

[androcola]

the layout of the pilot pad was so much more comforting and cozy and colorful and welcoming and warm,,why did they choose that nasty grimy zero color washed out brutalist dump for the remainder of the show,,,

Dear monkee fans who consumw my content, when im talking about the monkees in my monkeeverse, PLEASE picture this warm and beautiful home for them, because that's what im gonna think of

#the monkees #its just so happy and inviting #it looks more like a home rather than an abandoned wasted building that they just made theirs #i seriously love tjis one so much #like just imagine the normal pad layout. same floorplan n everything but it looks like This #look at that...id love to live there. it makes me feel so comfortable and happy just looking at it #the couch...the beautiful patchwork couch...the hardwood floor. the end tables with lamps and each end #so cozy... #i love their little deck that looks out onto the beach and across the water 😭😭 #the cute tarp on their table..this is so their home. it encompasses a little of each of them i think #please picture this pad always when i speak of them #AND THE RECORD PLAYER ON THE BOOK SHELF!?!?TJIS IS PEAK INTERIOR DESIGN #IT MAKWS ME SO HAPPY

[savnofilter]

WE DID IT JOE, MEGAN THE STALLION COSPLAYED MIRKO FOR HALLOWEEN.

cred(s): megan herself <333

#THANK YOU TO MC FOR SENDING ME TJIS #I FEEL SO BLESSED #bnha #mha #mirko #megan thee stallion #IM SO IN LOVE #GOSH #THANK YOU GOD THANK YOU GOD 😭🏃🏽🙏🏽 #random shit: waifus.mirko #d dabbles

[eebie]

HOLY FUCKING SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTRTRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTT

#MY HEART STARTED RACING AS SOON AS I SAW TUIS #THE TERROR I FELT FANTASTIC FUCKING JOB #I LOVE TJIS INLOVE THIS SO MUCH I LOVE YOU #MY ASKS #EEBER #BEASTIES #YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO #FAVS #CHRIST #JUST LOOKINGAT IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE MG SOULS LEAVING MH BODY #LIKE I FEEL LIGHT HEADED LOOKING AT RJIS #I LOVE IT

[blazersparker]

Okay, I am severely curious about Na- Ner.. Hold on *checks notes* Narnia- Nareena! I'm curious about Nareena!

Ramble free zone, I wanna know who they are

~Jayden (He/They/Xe)

WEHEHE TYY SO MUCH FOR THE ASK IM!!!! SO EXCITED GOD . NAREENA. WHERE DO I EVEN START!!! Left side is his healing arc :3

Fun fact! My best friend picked Nareena's name. Originally I just called her "elder", and then I went ok give me a name off the top of your head GO and fae said Nareena so. That is his name now. I didn't even second guess it or anything

OK LONG RANT AHEAD WOOPS:

UH TW FOR RELIGIOUS ABUSE!! they grew up in a cult essentially so

Nareena's the eldest sibling at the orphanage- not really based on age, lots of them don't even know their birthdays, but based off ranking. She's the most obedient, and most knowledgeable of their traditions and scriptures, so she's earned her title of an elder.

Nareena views all the kids as his siblings, though he'd always had a soft spot for Sokar, which Masha takes note of and absuloutely despises. This causes a lot of conflict between the three that Sokar is mostly unaware of till the Tragedy TM

Why does Nareena have a soft spot for Sokar? Well!! They're much more alike than most people believe, Nareena just keeps a lot of her issues internal, while Sokar can't help but wear her heart on her sleeve. Nareena feels as though comforting Sokar helps her in some way- giving someone the care she wishes she had?

He keeps his hair short consistently, since the adults at the orphanage shave Sokar's hair as soon as it grows long so she doesn't start getting any ideas about being like the girls- Nareena says that if he's a girl with short hair, then Sokar can be too.

The Tragedy TM occurs because of Nareena. She tells on Masha despite knowing what they'd do to her, because she knows what they'd do to her, and the adults salute her for it. She doesn't feel like she did something holy or right. She feels dirty and awful and guilty. She misses Masha. She shouldn't miss a traitor, should she?

Nareena grows her hair out after Masha's death and Sokar's dissaperance. She grows into her role as an older sister- she becomes everything she knows Masha and Sokar hated. She keeps the kids in line. She wears her ritual scar on her chest proudly and shamefully at the same time- she survived, but you wouldn't want to end up like her, would you?

Nareena breaks apart any kid who has any resemblance to Masha or Sokar, and lies awake in her new room regretting it every single night. She says it's for the best. She says if she doesn't teach them now, they'll get too cocky. They'll end up just like her. She's keeping them safe. She's keeping them safe, isn't she?

No one's seen Nareena smile in a long, long time. Some of the adults who grew up with her swear she used to laugh, used to voice her opinions without a second thought, and none of the kids believe them.

UMM BUCNH OF PLOT STUFF I DONT FULLY HAVE FIGURED OUT HAPPENS BUT !!! basically Nareena's sent out to search for a rouge demon [btw they're all demons idk if the horns made it obvious] who wasn't in the orphanage or anywhere underground, and it turns out to be Sokar!! Insert nuclear level argument and plot stuff happens and uhhh ghost Masha moves on, Nareena almost dies [but doesnt!] and they dismantle the cult/orphanage [just barely] and yaayy!! Nareena healing arc

Nareena is such an asshole. He thinks he's better than everyone but like ?? Like he thinks it's a fact. He doesn't gloat but he's consistently condescending and speaks as if you wouldn't understand a word she's saying unless she spelled it out for you. Nareena thinks there's not a single thing in the world she could struggle with. Think Jayce league of legends! Self-loathing asshole who somehow believes he's perfect and has intense catholic guilt despite not being catholic. He DOES work on this- Cassandra helps considering they do NOT tolerate that behaviour and make it very obvious why being an asshole is gonna backfire on you eventually. Eventually Nareena starts to realise other people's opinions and points of view matter and his experiences r not universal <3 never put her in a position of charge ever again tho. Brings out his demons

Nareena cuts her hair again- he's always liked it shorter, and now that he's realising everything he'd learned as a child was mostly bullshit, she's learning to accept parts of herself she'd shunned away out of shame. Nareena wears clothes she never would have before, lets himself read books for the sake of having fun rather than learning, and he tells Sokar he doesn't really feel like a girl, despite still wanting to be called a sister.

His relationship with Sokar has a lot of hurdles- Nareena realising Sokar isn't a child anymore, and not naive nor 12, and how that doesn't fit in her perception of Sokar causes a ton of issues, but they work it out! Nareena adapts to the surface a lot better than Sokar too- considering Nareena was a full-fledged adult with a support system while Sokar was a traumatised 14 year old practically dumped on the side of the road after she'd watched her sister die, which Sokar almost feels jealous of, or bad about. They also work this out tho :3 also Sokar has obviously had many years to overcome her religious trauma, but Nareena still thinks based on what she learned as a child on instinct, and has no brain to mouth filter, so she ends up saying upsetting things very often. Sokar knows Nareena's still learning, but it's making her feel bad too, so like argument ensues.

UM THIS IS SO LONG SORRY I THINK THATS ENOUGH . I wrote a whole thing about the tragedy but it was like 4 whole pages [woops] so I might just brush it up and post it on ao3 or something :3 if you'd like to read that let me knoww

#im so sorry jayden um. tjis is long as shit #long post #blazeandroseanswer #marbleztalks #god i love nareena #[eats him whole] #also masha never forgives her. she dies hating him. horrible shit #the nareena healing arc is just me bejng self indulgent. originally he was gonna die and sokar was gonna be the only one left #but i like my ocs i want them to heal and grow old together :] #[sorry masha] #oc #oc stuff #UM FEEL FREE TO ASK ABOUT ANY OF THEM OR ANY SPEFICIC QUESTIONSI LOVEEBBE TALKING ABOUT MY OCS :33333 WEEHOO!!!! #oc art #the red cross on her chest is the ritual scar btw :3 masha has one too #one of her horns is broken because of the ritual also!

[piereoglyphics]

i love ur new pfp and theme its so PRETTY

AUAAAA THANK YOU !! I LOVE IT TOO !!! These colors are bangin yo

If you saw the placeholder pfp i had there for like 3 hours no you didnt !!!!1! Love the one i have now though :] love this guy

#old ass cat scientist bitch pfp /aff #i might post the full drawing in a bit. I'm leaving the pfp here to settle?? #i dont know. feels weird posting it immediately #Also i love tjis color combination i need to do it more #less yellow and green. more fucking yellow and this light blueish. green. yes #just a pretty shade..: #unrelated: im actually improving. this is so cool #my art looks sick

[runway-houses-city-clouds]

i love u ripping music from cds <333

#tjis post is brought to u by ripping DYOH off the cd i got #i love u being able to have a physical & digital copy of an album i love that i actually own :]] #runway's rambles #feeling emotions about music today :p

[kasumikoujou]

enstars so insane for havinf a cast of characters so wide and for me to like so many of them like however will my brain cpu bounce between them at this rate. thank god there is only endless time left in the world right 😊 (this is what its there for. for me to weekly think about different enstars characters

#the sumi rambles #yknow besides coming to terms w the fact natsume os my favorite. i also am feeling the midoriness this week #mauhe next week as well ! who knows how long the midoriness will last #i love midori. and um a lot of other of em theres so manu #maybe tjis calls for a new tierlist.

[amu-brain-dump]

Favourite fandoms? 👀

-ATLA (Avatar the last airbender) & TLOK (The legend of Korra) mostly cause childhood masterpiece but also cause every single girl on either series is some brand of a badass bitch

-Genshin Impact is my most recent obsession. The game is actually really cool and easy to play everyday with a great story and whatnot but also the ✨women✨

-Adventure time cause the story is so damn cool and rich and crazy. Also Bubblegum supremacy cause she's wonderfully written and she's the science genius I aspire to be

-Steven Universe. Everything about Steven Universe is perfect: the characters? well written and deep with great growth; the story? heartwarmingly relatable with lots of realism; the songs? masterpieces ALL HAIL REBECCA SUGAR. Also Steven is a sweetie pie and he deserves the world

#about me #these are all i can think of right now #also if you're into any of them feel free to talk to me about them at any point #but also be aware I will rant nonsense when prompted #i recently rewatched SU and fell in love again tjis boy is just so sweet #because of him i started playing the ukulele #i gave up some time ago but i wanna pick it up again because of him again xD #also my reasons to love all these always include women.... how did i not realise before is beyond me #ask the brain

[aashiqvi]

hello! i hope your day was great!!

26. three favourite non-English songs

and

29. three songs that influenced you most (some songs change or save lives)

for “the three songs” asks please!

🌷🌹 flowers for you

Hello my love !!!! My day was so chill what about you ? 💗 you’re so sweet for pasting the whole sentence life saver FR!!

3 fav non-English songs: *cries in mental distress*

samjhawan

palat tera hero idhar hai

jeene laga hoon

3 songs that influenced me the most omggg omgggg how do people choose

maula mera maula

mera pyaar tera pyaar

yellow cab (dpr live) [reminds me of how alive I felt after ages!]

#thank you for the flowers my love here r some fruits for u n animal friends 🍉🥭🦭🦦🐢 #I insanely resisted the urge to do bollywood hindi songs but like they genuinely…. deserve to be there omg I feel sad for not being able to #include some #honourable mention to pal by arijit Singh here my bf played it once when I had an insane trauma meltdown and I calmed down OKG IT JUS STARTE #PLAYIGN RN. IS TJIS A SIGN #ex bf ** but I meant bf at the time !! lols #char ghar chalen deserves a fave xxxxxx AM I CHEATINGGGG #thank you for the ask my lovely #ask #omg this is so hard

[mrfoox]

How to stop avoiding things that stress me out until it becomes a problem...

#miranda talking shit #I've always had an avoiding behavior but the last few years like its bad.... #I think its bc i live af home so no one will check on me and remind me about stuff #So I just repress and ignore things until they are a bigger problem and then I'm like 0: what #For some reason ive put conversing with friends in that seat to its an problem #Like logically i know i like to talk with people amd 9/10 times i feel better for it but ... Now i just dont #For like 6 months now ive gotten so bad at it. I was bad before too but now its really bad #Only reason i can think of is that my add/autistic brain feels overwhelmed bc i dont have just 4 friends anymore #Like I've onlh had like 4 friends since i was young and until my 20s but now ive slowly gotten more #And i like that and love them all but i think i feel overwhelmed somehow ... #Like i struggle to divide my attention a lot. I function best when i can sink all my attention info one thing #And now when i have 15+ friends to keep in contact with i struggle so my solution is just to isolate and talk to no one... #Friendships with me suck. Especially if you're a person who does mind id you don't get an reply in a day bc It can take me weeks or more to #Come back with an answer ... And it's never bc i dislike anyone. Its simply bc i feel overwhelmed and i worry about what fo reply #Thats also why i think tje best friendships for me are the type where they ... Get that . But also engage with me and send me an message #Once in a while. Mainly bc then its like an poke button so i can't just isolate myself ? #Im so bad at social stuff in general. Like writing first... I struggle badly. And once i do and get an answer back fairly quickly im like #Oh shit no tjis is too much. Idk man. Everything in life feels so Much ™ and im exhausted and anxious #Autism tag

[yourbleedingh3art]

Gods timing is always right in god we trust etc etc

#Wtf #That moment when you’re disturbed and disquieted #blog post #I resisted the urge to regress #but I still feel like I might do it #because the urge was so strong and primal #I just can’t believe my first love the ex I cheated on and always post about. came and propositioned me multiple times for sex after two #or three hours of open honest catch up conversation it was expected but unexpected it was so fucking hot I was #panting on his lap like a dog in heat and he could tell too #every littke touch was so insane I was sitting next to him physically shaking and shivering #and I still was like I don’t think sex is a good idea #Bc theres no Need for that. #no need for regression or repetition #but I still am uncomfortably turned on remembering the situation my heart is thumping so hard right now #I found what he was saying so shocking and unexpected it took me complete by surprise which was replaced by The Want #I am dumping out the bong water we shared #Bc I was like I should save it it’s so me and Daniel core but it’s like fuck that #how do I still feel about Seth #wtf does any of tjis mean #holy fuck #Lexington next year huh.

[zickmonkey]

Gonna say some semi weird shit lmao sorry

#for some reason my baby fever has been really really bad for the past couple weeks #and now it's like my dream to get pregnant this year #(it would be like impossible to swing i cant afford to move out of my parents house) #(and I'm either Aro/Ace or an Ace Lesbian) #but I want a baby so bad #so far the best option is a throuple with mu friend and her boyfriend (soon to be fiancee) #because they want kids but she doesnt want to be pregnant even a little bit #(shes also a carrier for a very severe genetic disease and some skin conditions) #but anyway thats just bonus lore #the big things: i would love to get pregnant this year #i think id keep it a secret from anyone who couldn't actively see me #and my friend who lives in a different province and i have been talking ahout him coming here for comicon in october #and us doing a couple's cosplay #so like theres zero chance of this happening but i just yhink the idea of me picking him up at the airport #with a VISIBLE baby bump when i hadn't at any point told him i was pregnant #i just think it woukd be such a funny reaction #how would he feel? would he say something? or would he just be like “oh shes gotten bigger since the last yime i saw her” #“better not mention that” #and then later in our hotel im like “Jesus christ neverfuvkingmind tjis whole pregnancy thing im tired of being hungry” #idk i just think it would he funny #also if you know someone in my area willing yo give me a baby and provide housing and be a good father and a decent enough husband hmu #btw decent enough husband i really jusy mean like be my friend but we share a house and maube a bed for the kid and have sex #but ONLY for procreation #jamie shut the fuck up #personal blog #just vibing #rambling

[starsonmarsy]

im normal

#my brain feels like when you wake up for a moment and everything feels muted #like not in a bad way but like #that if that filter wasnt there id be so deeply obsessed and insane with love that ot would invoke fear #and revealing it would reveal the crack in the flass and shatter me into a million pieces of vulnerability #and i am far too high for thwt #i just love him so deeply #i love them wll #tjis post sounds mentally ill #tl;dr im so insane with feelings for my people if i let it out it will consume me whole #so this is a good post i prommy #i just like #*vibrates aggressively in love* #mars.txt

[umjammerlami]

Finally having the drive to draw again after literal years of having to force it because of burnout is so??? Scary?? Exhilarating???

#thought I’d have to give up on my art dreams soon if it didn’t improve tbh #trying not to focus on how I feel behind and instead focus on having fun and not losing tjis again #because losing my love of art genuinely left me feeling empty it’s such a huge facet of my life #idk I’m just thinking