#I love you Bobby but how can you expect your son to behave when you act this way

[firefam-stan]

(inspired by @bvckleydiaz post: “ someone PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE write something where eddie and the rest are sitting around telling stories/talking about buck!! my heart needs this! 😩🥺”)

yeah my inspiration muse struck, and here we are 

(a.k.a. help I accidentally wrote a bit more than a drabble)

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“Hello? Is anybody in here?”  

Eddie looked up from his locker, surprised to see an older couple making their way over from the front entrance. A quick glance around revealed nobody else on duty nearby. 

He sighed. He really didn’t want to deal with well-wishing senior citizens today. They tended to be overly nice and expected his full attention, even when he had other things to do. Usually, Eddie enjoyed the visits as a welcome break during the day, but this time he was a bundle of tightly-tensed nerves waiting to combust ever since Buck had come in that morning. 

Buck. 

Eddie lightly rested his head against the cool metal of the locker, chasing away the sudden onslaught of images from earlier, the terror that had overcome him when he’d thought his friend had... gone in the explosion. The events from earlier had affected him more than he’d let on. 

Maybe if he just stayed really still and didn’t look up again, the older couple would find someone else. 

“Excuse me?”

Or not. 

Eddie turned around, plastering a tight smile onto his face. “Can I help you with anything?” 

The man nodded. “Is Evan here? We... need to talk with him.” 

Eddie spun around and felt his blood run cold as the words fully registered. 

It was them.

And they had the nerve to show up here after Buck had nearly died saving a stranger’s life. Eddie's gaze flickered to the punching bag in the corner, a memory springing up of Buck, angrily punching the ever-loving crap out of it.

“Two dinners, and I’m twelve years old again,” he’d said, face filled with fury. And pain.

And now? Faced with the dread parents themselves?

“Mr. and Mrs. Buckley, I presume?” Eddie finally managed to say, snapping himself back to the present.

“Yes, it’s good to meet you!” Mr. Buckley offered his hand, but Eddie ignored it under the guise of turning around to look for someone else.

“Buck isn’t here right now,” Eddie’s tone was terse. “He’s getting examined after our last call.”

“...examined?” 

“Medically examined. He was exposed for too long at the factory fire.”

“Factory fire?!” gasped the woman, dread etched on her features. 

The man’s face only hardened, his jaw clenched. “He has no right,” he said. “no right to do this to us!”

“Excuse me?” Eddie interjected, feeling his temper quickly rising to dangerous levels. But he pushed it down, bottled it securely into the bottom of his chest. He couldn’t afford to behave rashly---lives were lost when people behaved rashly.

But he allowed a small trace of his anger to show itself in his eyes and the tense set of his shoulders. Judging by their silence, it was enough. 

“If you’ll please come with me, you can wait upstairs in the seating area.”

Eddie gestured up the stairs and they soon followed. But before they reached the top, he turned around and leveled his gaze at them. “Your son is a hero, not the reckless daredevil you think he is.”

“You have no right to tell us what we do or don’t think of our son!” 

Eddie clenched his jaw tighter. That punching bag was looking more and more appealing. 

“Just please, sit down over there.” He looked up at the seats and saw with relief that Bobby, Hen, and Chimney were all nearby. 

Good, that accounted for all his impulse control. 

He turned his face away from the couple and raised his eyebrows deliberately to the team. “Bobby, Hen, Chimney, this is Mr. and Mrs. Buckley.”

After that, it got very tense, very quickly. Chimney’s expression was very blank and tightly controlled, while Bobby and Hen looked closer to a tightly wound spring. 

“Oh, Howard! It’s good to see you!” smiled Mrs. Buckley, seemingly oblivious to the tension in the room. “We’re just looking to talk to Evan for a moment. I understand he’s gone and hurt himself?” she pulled a distasteful face. 

“With all respect, unless you have something to apologize for, I think you’ve talked to Buck enough for now,” said Bobby, trying to sound courteous. 

“He still lets people call him that?” broke in Philip Buckley, clearly annoyed with the fact. 

“Yes, and it suits him.” said Hen, stepping forward a bit. 

“Oh, enough with the stupid nicknames already!” snapped Margaret Buckley. “Just tell us when he’ll be back!” 

Eddie cut in softly, “he’s getting a medical examination after a massive fire and you’re worried about when it’s most convenient for you to talk?” 

“That’s not what...” Margaret trailed off. “Fine. What of it?”

“Did you know that he has smoke inhalation--” Eddie started, but Philip cut him off.

“I’m so sorry on his behalf, he seems to get himself injured often. It’s been a problem for--”

Bobby put his hand up. “Stop right there,” they looked up. “You have no right to apologize for him,” he nodded to Eddie. “I think what Mr. Diaz over there was trying to say is that he has smoke inhalation as a result of giving his mask to a stranger trapped in the burning building.” 

This seemed to shock them, and they looked at Eddie for confirmation, and he nodded, never breaking his cold stare. 

“Well that’s a first,” mumbled Margaret. “I wish he’d had that kind of character when he was younger.” 

Bobby squared his shoulders. “I will not tolerate unnecessary and untrue degrading comments in my firehouse.” his tone was icy and brooked no room for disagreement. 

“It’s not untrue...” Margaret murmured under her breath. 

“That’s enough,” ordered Eddie, letting the soldier in him leak into his tone. 

They stood around awkwardly for a few moments, until Hen spoke up. “I’m not sure what you’re thinking, but your son, our Buck, is an incredible person. He would never needlessly endanger himself. He knows we care too much.” That last sentence was ever so slightly barbed. 

“One time he climbed to the top of a roller coaster with no safety equipment to get to someone in trouble.” Eddie said, raising an eyebrow. “It was on the news and everything.” 

“And the man let go---he failed!” Philip dismissed the notion with a wave of his hand.

“But he still tried!” Hen uncrossed her arms and stood up straighter. “From what we’ve heard, it’s more than you’ve done.” 

“Look, we don’t care what he has or hasn’t done, but it wasn’t Evan’s place to complain to you about his personal problems. Did you know he even has to see a therapist?!” Margaret was indignant. 

“Margaret,” Philip put his hand on her shoulder. “These firefighters haven’t done anything wrong. We’re here for Evan, not them.” 

“He saved my son’s life.” Eddie said suddenly, remembering what Buck had said about Daniel. “He was with my young son on the pier when the tsunami hit.” He shifted, his voice softening. “Christopher would be... gone if Buck hadn’t been there.” 

The Buckley’s had frozen. Sensing an opening, Eddie continued, “My son has cerebral palsy, and Buck risked his life over and over again to make sure he was safe. Christopher wouldn’t have stood a chance if he hadn’t been there.” 

Just like that, Margaret and Philip stopped. And Eddie knew it was because the story of Christopher had reminded them of Daniel. It was a low blow, he knew, to exploit their grief like that. But he had to make them see.

Chimney picked up the conversation. “He was pinned under a fire truck---it shattered the bones in his leg---and he still came back so he could help people.”

“And he once saved a man who was hanging out of a car windshield on the road. Off duty.” Hen added. 

Bobby sighed and cleared his throat. “Whether you see it or not, Buck is a hero. He’s brave and selfless, always making sure everyone else is safe before checking himself.” 

Margaret nodded mutely, still processing the information. 

“And whether Buck knows it or not, he has a family here who will always be there for him.” Bobby spoke the last part with such conviction that the Buckley’s couldn’t help but look ashamed. 

Philip turned to Margaret, unsure how she was reacting. “Margaret, I think we need to apolog---” he stopped short when he noticed Eddie had perked up and was now looking at the door, listening intently. 

A red paramedic truck pulled up, and then Eddie was gone, already halfway down the stairs. 

Bobby had noticed too, and addressed the couple again. “It looks like Buck is back now. We’re going to go check on him, and we’ll let him know you’re here.”

“And whether he comes up or not is his choice,” added Hen.

Margaret and Philip watched them hurry down to greet Buck.

“We messed up,” she said softly.

Philip only nodded.

#9-1-1 #evan buckley #evan 'buck' buckley #bobby nash #eddie diaz #the buckleys #henrietta wilson #hen wilson #firefam #9-1-1 fanfiction #soft eddie #implied buddie #protective bobby nash #protective eddie diaz #bobby nash is such a dad #christopher diaz

[rosy-wooyoung]

He needs someone [part II] | Park Seonghwa

Word count: 3.8k [of nonsense as usual] Genre: fluff [with a hint of what I consider suggestiveness at some point but nothing too spicy] Pairing: kindergarten teacher! reader x police officer!, single dad! Seonghwa A/N: Here is the long-awaited part II! The plot goes a bit everywhere since I had no inspo and I didn’t originally plan to write a second part, I just hope it will be enough :) thank you for all the love you showed for the first part, I almost cried when I saw the number of notes that it had. Hopefully, you will enjoy this part as much as the other one!! Warnings: none [except maybe it’s disgustingly sweet and cliché but if you are on my blog you know that’s how i write hehe]

second part of this fic.

Within the past few weeks, a lot of hectic things had happened, but you were happy with how the situation turned out. You were afraid to have overstepped the boundaries by interfering in the private life of a police officer, simply for the well-being of his son, but he had been diligent enough to forgive you and let you into his life, a few days later.

Everything was new for both of you. It has been a long time since you've shared your life with someone, and it was sometimes hard to get used to living together again. You were just too tired to go for a drink on weekdays or during the weekend with a stranger, who was most likely not to suit you. Seonghwa, unlike you, had tried everything, but to no avail, especially since he had a child. Single women didn't usually interest in being in charge of a little being who does not come from them. When you wanted to show affection to your lover, you had to wait until Haneul was asleep to be able to exchange a few touches or a kiss a little more languid than the quick ones you exchanged before leaving for work.

Seonghwa’s mother already adored you. You noticed that she spoke a little meanly about Haneul’s mother, which is also understandable from her point of view. She had hurt her son and grandson by leaving them to handle things on their own. You were a little apprehensive about meeting her, but the first time you came home after the incident in the car, she warmly welcomed you into the family house. You don't know what you did to make her love you so much, but you weren't against being in good terms with her.

This morning, you were waiting for your students at the entrance to the school playground, greeting the parents who were bringing their children. Some left as quickly as they arrived, probably late for work, while others started chatting together, looking after their children out of the corner of their eye. A familiar figure approached you and you recognized one of your students accompanied by his father. He started to chat with you, and it was rather boring. It wasn't the first time he had spoken to you; it had even become routine since it was warmer outside and you allowed yourself to wait for your students without catching a cold. You told your colleague who was older than you about this man, and she immediately warned you about him. He was a father, sure, but he was single. And ready to mingle, to settle down with any woman that said yes to anything. He had apparently flirted with the majority of your colleagues and the mothers who were awaiting their children, whether they were younger or older than you, married or not.

As soon as you learnt about this man's intentions, you immediately understood his interests and started being more careful. You politely rejected his advances, saying that you had a lot to do and that there were other things more important to you in life than all that dating stuff. But he did not lose hope.

A hint of relief hit the tip of its nose when you saw a police car approaching the school. You kept a neutral face, trying not to betray your emotions in front of the father. Haneul pushed open the back door of the car and ran towards you, carrying a small transparent box in his hands. You smiled and stretched your arms towards the little boy who wrapped his frail arms around your legs.

"Hi Haneul, how are you this morning?" "Y/N! Look what we found in the garden with Daddy! I named it Bobby." He showed you the transparent box where a small green frog climbed the wall, trying to escape, but Haneul held the lid tight between his fingers. You lifted him up and held him on your waist so that he could show you the frog up closer. "Your frog is beautiful!" You exclaimed and kissed the little boy on the cheek, having completely forgotten that the other father was still standing next to you. He watched you with an amused look at first, but he instantly frowned when you had shown some complicity with Haneul. "Do you...kiss all your students like that or-" You turned your head to the man, realizing he was still there and what you did. You wanted to justify yourself, but someone interrupted you. "Hello, Sweetheart." Seonghwa stood before you, a thin smile on his lips. It disappeared as soon as the policeman turned to face the man who had turned livid. His eyes went back and forth between Haneul, the hand that Seonghwa had on your waist and the proximity of your faces. He apologized while walking away and you put the little boy down to let him go play with his friends.

Seonghwa's hand travelled into the hollow of your back and drew you closer. Even though he was gone, he knew the father had still his eyes on you. His lips hovered over yours, his other hand tenderly cupping your cheek.

"Not here, please. Children and parents are watching us." Your eyes were avoiding his and looked around, preoccupied about the looks of others. Seonghwa lifted your head by the chin and he looked into your eyes. "I don't care," his voice was hoarse and powerful, he almost sounded pissed off. "They can look, I don't care. He was too close and I don't like that. I don't like seeing people I love being bothered by weird strangers." You barely had time to hear his words when he kissed you passionately. The liveliness of the kiss surprised you so much that you had to hold on to Seonghwa's uniform to not lose your balance. It was the first time he had shown himself in such a way in public, so possessive as he was currently behaving. His jealousy made you smile slightly into the kiss.

When he ended it, you smoothed your top and cleared your throat, as Seonghwa was staring at you with a smirk. You gave him one last kiss at the corner of his mouth and one last look.

"Tonight. We're talking about this tonight." You tried to stay calm and neutral but the redness of your cheeks betrayed you. A satisfied smile appeared on Seonghwa's lips, who winked at you before walking back to his police car. You gathered your students before bringing them into your class, still a little animated about what just happened in the playground.

The day was coming to an end and you had not forgotten the discussion you needed to have with Seonghwa. During the afternoon, he had sent you a message that his mother will pick up her grandson from school and that you didn’t need to take care of him. You gently greeted your boyfriend's mother and chatted with her for a while before you went home. You put down your bag and coat at the entrance, impatient at the idea of ​​taking a good shower. But you didn't even have time to head to the bathroom that someone rang at your door.

As you expected it, Seonghwa was standing in front of you, a bouquet of red roses in hand. You grabbed him by the arm in your apartment and closed the door behind him.

"What do I owe the honour of this bouquet of flowers?" You questioned him with a smile as he handed it to you. "I don't know," Seonghwa followed you teasingly as you entered the kitchen to take out a vase. You poured water in it and put the flowers in, placing it on the living room table. "Perhaps the beauty, the charm, the sweetness, the intelligence and the empathy of my dear and lovely Y/N," He mentioned qualities between each kiss he placed on your skin, the next lower than the previous one. He kept on going from your forehead to arrive in the hollow of your collarbone, before rising back towards your face. "Don't try to distract me, we are having a conversation right now." You put your hands on his chest to slightly push him away, but he kept a firm grip around you. You took a deep breath to try to keep some self-control, but Seonghwa wasn't really helping.

"Oh really, and on what is this conversation about?" He said, raising a mocking eyebrow, feigning ignorance. "About your inappropriate behaviour in the schoolyard this morning." You touched the tip of his nose as you pulled yourself out of his embrace, but he stopped you by sneaking an arm around your waist. "I see big words are being employed," he whispered in the crook of your ear, causing the cheeks to turn a shade pinker. "But this behaviour was completely appropriate to the situation we were into." "No, I don't think so. I just think you were jealous." You snickered, a pinch at the waist made you yelp and calm you down instantly. "Me? Jealous? No, it's quite the opposite, actually. I trust you with all my heart, honey, I just don't trust other men’s intentions. And I saw that you were uncomfortable, so don’t try to play tough." His voice was calm and confident, while yours trembled and was hesitant. As a police officer, he had to keep his cool and he was very good at it. "You are very attractive when you try to be bossy, I would’ve liked to have a teacher like you." He whispered in your ear. He was trying to distract you, and it worked. ”Stop your nonsense now!" You said, turning around in his grip, a malicious look filled your eyes. Your mouth was only a few millimetres from his and his eyes were filled with desire, love and admiration. Seonghwa only let his emotions show through when he was alone with you. He smiled at you and pushed a strand of hair behind your ear. "You are so gorgeous," he whispered as if he wanted only you to hear it, even if you were alone in your apartment. "I said, don’t talk rubbish," you giggled, kissing his cheek. He tightened his grip and stared at you deeply. Something in his eyes changed. They weren't teasing or goofy anymore, it was only seriousness. "I'm telling the truth; I really mean it. And, one day, I wanna show it to you." His smile showed nothing but kindness and kissed your temple.

"Do you want to eat something? I don’t know if I’ve shopped for today." You changed the subject as you took your lover's hand and led him into the kitchen. "Don't you want to order? It would be easier, and we could spend more time together,” He pouted and persuaded you by his good ideas. "If you want, but I would have loved to cook with you." "Another time, honey. Why not with Haneul, too?" You shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, why not!" After all, it was a way for you to get closer to the mini version of Seonghwa, even if you were already very close. He still had a bit of trouble not calling you by your name when he was in class, but a colder stare was enough for him to understand and call you Teacher Y/N again.

You settled on the sofa when Seonghwa opened the door to the Chinese delivery man. He put everything on the coffee table and served you food, a smile decorating his lips every time your eyes met. Seonghwa was a whole other person in private, much warmer and smiling than when he worked. His smile was your weakness, and his big hazel eyes made you fall in love a little more with him every day.

Your character, your smile, your sparkling eyes, everything related to you drove Seonghwa completely crazy. He won’t ever say it, but he thinks he has never been this much in love before. Of course, he loved Haneul's mom a lot, but she was nothing compared to you. You were patient and kind; you hadn't judged him on his past and that is partly the reason why he fell in love with you. That you love him, even if he has a child, you care for his son, and really, he is grateful to have come across a woman like you.

"Oh, I wanted to ask you something," you broke the silence, your voice covering those of the characters in the film you were watching. "Tell me," he put his plate and chopsticks down for a sip of his soda. "Each year, I organize a school excursion where I go in nature or to a museum with the children to "celebrate" the end of the year. Would you like to be a companion to help me look after the children? I was unlucky enough to ask this at a parents' meeting and the man of this morning rushed to accompany us." Seonghwa grunted at the mention of this man but relaxed when he remembered your question. "I'm going to see if I can take a day off, I may be on patrol or keep a close eye on the neighbourhood at night. You know, the days are starting to grow again, and young people are sometimes turbulent, but I'll see what I can do." You smiled at him and started eating again, while Seonghwa caressed your cheek with the back of his hand. "It would make me happy to have you with me, and I'm sure Haneul would be happy as well if you come. He keeps telling his little friends about you, it's very endearing." Seonghwa stifled a little laugh. "Are you serious?" "I promise! He stands in the middle of the class, his classmates sitting around him, and he explains some things that you told him. Even if I doubt that they are all true, he’s very proud to have an officer as a dad." Seonghwa looked at you askance with a smirk. "Not all true, hm? What do you mean by that? That I tell him nonsense?" He teased while moving closer to you on the couch and putting his hand on your thigh. "No, but I doubt you beat a dragon with your bare hands last night, am I wrong?" "You don't know what I'm doing while everyone is asleep," you rolled your eyes and shook your head at your boyfriend's childish words. "Anyway, I will try my best to be free on that day. I really want to spend time with you." He winked at you and got ready to eat again, but he stopped. "Don't take the other idiot if I can't, please. I don't want him hanging around you, he’s already a pain in the ass when he comes to complain to us at work. It's in his best interests not to touch one of your hair or Haneul’s." "Seonghwa, I’m only teasing. I’ll never go with him. Not for my excursion, nor I’ll leave you for him. I'll go with your mom or a colleague if you can’t come, don’t worry about it." He nodded and you kissed his cheek to reassure him. You understood that his jealousy was his way of showing you that he cared and that he was still a bit insecure about you leaving for another man, so you were trying your best to comfort him. Some guys have used this method on you by the past, but you can see in Seonghwa’s eyes and actions that he doesn’t want to lose you and that he genuinely cares about you.

The school trip was tomorrow. It's been a few weeks since you had asked Seonghwa to come with you and your class and everything worked for the best. Haneul was euphoric about having his father as a parental figure for this trip, it was hard to keep him calm.

"Haneul, calm down," his grandmother scolded him, "Daddy won't come with you if you keep behaving like that." "No please, Granny, I want Daddy to come." Haneul whined, gripping his grandmother’s hand as he looked up at her. "Then stay calm and help Y/N, sweetie." "Okay, Granny!" He yelled as he went to his room to gather his stuff after giving a kiss to his grandma. "Thank you," you whispered to her ear and she gently squeezed your forearm with a wink. Seonghwa had her eyes and her smile, it was amazing how much he looked like his mother. He had harder facial features, but the resemblance was clearly striking.

The bags prepared, you all got into Seonghwa's police car and drove to the police station, which was next to the meeting place you gave the parents. You were earlier than the time indicated, but there were already a few parents waiting and chatting with the children. The natural history museum that you wanted them to visit was unfortunately in another town, it was more convenient to hire a minibus to get there. Once all the students have arrived, you left for the museum. The children seemed happy to discover this natural history museum. Some had already seen it with their parents, but for others, it was the annual expedition and they were delighted.

Seonghwa looked particularly handsome today. He didn't have his uniform, but his simple clothes matched his fatherly attitude. Your students were mostly calm, they had followed the instructions of the museum manager. Some had children's cameras, others simply looked at stuffed animals or scared themselves by going to see animals that were wilder than others. He smiled at you from afar when he was taking care of the other part of the group.

Haneul spent a lot of time with you. He was holding your hand and asking you lots of questions about animals.

"Y/N, um, Teacher Y/N, I'm glad to have Daddy with us." "Really?” You asked him, holding his hand a little tighter. "I'm glad you're happy.” He nodded but he still seemed a little sad. "Sweetheart, I know it's hard for you to call me Teacher at school and Y/N at home, but you have to understand that it can’t change is since I am with your Daddy, but I am also your teacher," you squatted to be at his level and you swept his hair out of his eyes to see them. "That doesn't mean you matter less to me, you're an adorable big boy. I love you very much with your Daddy and nothing will change that, okay?” He nodded again, with a little more enthusiasm this time and you stood back up. "Children! Shall we go have lunch outside?” The children gathered around you and nodded vigorously, some rubbed their stomachs and smiled.

Seonghwa helped you set up the large tablecloth that you had loaded on and the children took off their shoes before sitting on it. You helped them unpack their sandwiches and you offered them each a chocolate bar for being very behaving well during the visit and the meal. After finishing their lunch and eating their desserts, the majority ran towards the playground which was located a few meters from you, while the rest stayed near you and rested. Haneul returned from the playground soon after and he looked tired. He rubbed his eyes with his little fists and laid his head on his father's shoulder, who smiled and took him in his arms. Haneul fell asleep with his head on his father's lap a few seconds after Seonghwa sat down near him.

The day was coming to an end, the first children were already almost asleep on the tablecloth. Haneul had woken up from his nap and was playing with the other energised children. He was the leader of a small group, who had picked daisies and made a big bouquet for you. When you decided that it was time to leave, you all took your bag and went back to the vehicle. Seonghwa was driving the minibus to the meeting point of this morning. You could read the tiredness on his face, which you came to caress with the back of your hand. He grabbed it and placed a long kiss on it, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Aren’t you too tired?” You were talking to him softly; some children were sleeping soundly, and you didn't want to wake them up. They had a lot of fun in the park and watching them was also pretty tiring. "Yes," Seonghwa confessed, laughing, "I still don't know how you manage to do this every day. I feel like I'm reliving my police school entrance tests. They should do this as a test, it's just as tiring." "You indeed need to have a strong mind to handle these little children," you smiled as you looked at them in the rear-view mirror. "But I know you have it," Seonghwa stopped at a red light and planted his eyes in yours. When he sent you that look, you had flashbacks from the first time you found yourself in his car. It surprised you and you didn't want to go through it again. "At home," you whispered and Seonghwa chuckled at your words, shaking his head. He pressed the accelerator when the light turned green and you sighed with relief when you saw the parking lot with the parents who were waiting for you.

Once all the bags and caps have been returned to their little owners, you wish your students and parents a good weekend and you walk to the police car. Haneul was also tired, it would be easy to put him to bed and enjoy Seonghwa’s presence. It's hard not to show too much affection when you're in public. You wanted to keep your strict figure as a teacher, but you also wanted to enjoy your love life freely. You opened the back door and Haneul ran to you and jumped, letting you fasten his belt. You kissed his forehead and closed the door. You open the passenger door and settled in, waiting for Seonghwa to close the trunk.

When you walked through the front door, a divine smell of food ran through your nostrils, making your stomach growl. You headed for the kitchen. The hot plates were occupied by pots filled with food, covered with lids to keep it warm. Seonghwa's mom had left a note on the counter wishing you a good evening.

"She's really amazing.” You muttered as Seonghwa went upstairs with Haneul. You heard the water flowing and began to eat since your belly started complaining.

A little bit later, Seonghwa reappeared in clean clothes and damp hair. He widened his eyes at the sight of food, and you showed him his mother's note.

"I already sent her a bouquet of flowers to thank her," Seonghwa smiled at you and started kissing you in the middle of the kitchen, his food long forgotten on the counter. You could feel all the tiredness in his kiss, it was lazier than usual, but it still managed to make your head spin. When you pulled away, he kissed your forehead and started to eat the portion you had prepared for him. You went upstairs with a plate for Haneul, but he was already asleep, so you took advantage of being on this floor to go take a shower and relax after this long day.

Seonghwa did not take long to join you in your shared bedroom. He collapsed on his side of the bed and let himself be gently lulled by the sounds of your hairdryer. When you climbed into the bed, the softness of your satin nightgown brushed against Seonghwa's bare chest, his arms wrapped around your shoulders. You kissed him very tenderly and flopped down beside him.

"Thank you for coming with me," you whispered and traced random shapes on his abs. “It was really nice today.” "Anything for you, my love," he whispered against your lips and you fell into his warm embrace after turning off your bedside lamp. “ If you asked me to, I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again tomorrow.” You giggled and gave him one last kiss before falling asleep. You loved Seonghwa and Haneul with all your heart, and nothing could change that. They were making you too happy to stay away from them.

#i never know how to end stories #but here it is :) #ateez soft hours #ateez fluff #ateez imagines #ateez #ateez seonghwa #ateez reactions #ateez soft #ateez fluff imagines #seonghwa scenarios #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa soft hours #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa soft imagines #seonghwa reactions #seonghwa #park seonghwa #seonghwa fanfic #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa drabbles #seonghwa fics #ateez x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez soft seonghwa #police officer seonghwa #ateez au #seonghwa au #ateez teacher au #ateez fanfic

[aahsokaatano]

King I would love that essay about Changing Channels

Fjdjshjdhdjd thanks for reading my tags Jesse you're the real VIP here.

Okay SO "Changing Channels" is the 8th episode of the 5th season of Supernatural. I give this information bc it's important in looking at the context of the episode - now I've complained a LOT about how SPN is terrible at giving us canonical timeframes within the episodes (y'all i was SHOCKED to discover the first season is supposed to cover a little over a year's worth of time, I thought it was like... 4 or 5 months) so I can't say for sure how long before and after the other episodes happen in-universe around "Changing Channels" BUT

The episode before is "The Curious Case of Dean Winchester" where Dean and Bobby bet years of their lives in a game of poker with a witch. The episode after is "The Real Ghostbusters" where Sam and Dean end up at a fan convention for the in-universe Supernatural novels.

Why am I pointing this out? Because it's important, please, no audience participation, this is like a Brian David Gilbert panel.

[under a cut bc this got...... STUPID long. Who knew I still had this many opinions about SPN in 2020?]

Okay first of all I wanna talk about the cinnamon topography of this episode - I love the way the first 5 seasons are shot because you really feel the americana gothic horror aesthetic they were going for (I have a whole ‘nother rant about the first 5 seasons vs the last 10 but thats for another time). Everything is a little washed out and grey-toned, the camera angles generally serve to make Sam and Dean appear even taller than they actually are (larger than life - again, another post for another time), and there’s honestly a LOT of shots from the ‘monster’s’ perspective, which is really neat! I’ve said it before (on another blog - YES i have a dedicated spn rant blog, don’t @ me hdjfhfjfh) but the episode that really got me hooked on spn back in the day was the second one, about the w*ndigo. Yes, it’s a racist, culturally appropriating shitstorm, but the way its SHOT is fantastic. I’m honestly not a horror fan, but that episode could have easily relied on jumpscares and they DIDN’T and it was scary as all fucking hell and just - fuck okay getting off topic. 

In “Changing Channels” we get that distinctive grey-washed tone in the beginning and the very end of the episode, but the middle? When they’re in TV Land? Everything is bright. Almost comically so, I mean - okay look at these two shots of Sam (apologies about the crappy phone pics, netflix won't let me screenshot)

This one is from the start of the episode, in the "real" police station

And this is from a little later in the "TV" hospital

Ignoring that my phone is washing him out a lot in both pics, you can still see the warmer tones in the hospital shot as compared to the cold greyness in the police station one

Okay, now look at this picture

Dean inside the Impala, and those warm tones are back. Why? Because even though Sam and Dean believe that they’re back in the “real” world, they aren’t - so instead of the grey-washed shots that we’re used to, its the bright and warm shots that we see in “TV Land”! So the viewers pick up, even if its just subconsciously, that the boys aren’t out of the woods yet - everything is still too bright to be the in-universe reality we’ve come to expect from SPN by season 5

Which is also why i love this shift so much

These shots are literally SECONDS apart. The first is in "TV Land" and the second is in the "real" world. I have some red strip lights behind my bed, which are reflecting off my laptop screen - notice how much brighter they seem in the second picture? That’s because literally all of the warm colors have been drained out of the shot. As soon as Gabriel snaps them all back into “reality,” things get so much colder.

Okay, so the second thing I want to talk about is some of the very pointed dialogue choices within the “shows” the Winchesters take part in. Not between Sam and Dan and Gabriel, but from the, for lack of a better term, NPCs within the shows.

In the hospital, Dr. Piccolo tells Sam that he is “the finest cerebrovascular neurosurgeon I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So that girl died on your table; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. Sometimes people just die.” Standard cheesy soap opera dialogue - but lemme just swap some words here and - 

“You are the finest hunter I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So that girl died on your hunt; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. Sometimes people just die.”

Or even - 

“You are the finest hunter I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So Jessica and Mary died above you; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault [but Azazel’s]. Sometimes people just die.”

Keeping in mind that the NPCs are basically Gabriel’s mouthpieces, its easy to see why so many people ship Sabriel. I’d actually love to see a fic that explores them talking about this moment in particular later on and the kind of gentle forgiveness that Gabriel can give Sam... getting off topic again.

In an abrupt about-face, the herpes commercial (much meme’d within the fandom) is straight up Gabriel shaming Sam. Because if you replace “genital herpes” with “demon blood” it’s.... dark. And very intentional.

So that’s what I did! (I combined all spoken lines to make the message easier to read, rather than splitting them up across 3 speakers as in the episode)

“I’ve drank demon blood. I tried to be responsible... did I try. But now, after being forcibly detoxed, I fight my addiction every day to reduce the chances of passing back into that toxic mindset. Ask your loved ones about a demon blood intervention today. [...] I am doing all I can to slightly lessen the chance of drinking demon blood again. And that’s a good thing.”

Like... the subtext throughout this episode sure is. Something.

Okay this is getting ridiculously long so I wanna wrap up by talking about The Best Scene In The Whole Goddamn Show

I’m talking, of course, about Gabriel’s Confession

“Max,” you might be saying, “there are so many better scenes out there, even within the first five seasons!” and to that i say, again, no audience participation, please. Also, you’re WRONG and here’s why!

Gabriel’s confession hits every goddamn emotional chord that the fandom begged for on this show - fear, rage, grief, pain, guilt, and even, yes, absolution. 

Okay, here’s the scene again for those of you who don’t think about it at least once a week like me

Now this video is missing some of the conversation, but most of it is there, enough for you to see what I’m talking about. Gabriel up to this point has been, essentially, a nameless antagonist - this is the third episode he appeared in, and before this, we didn’t even know he was going by Loki. He was just referred to as ‘The Trickster’. But here, not only do we get a name (a real name at that), but we also get a glimpse of his backstory and a hell of a lot of character development in less than 5 minutes. I mean, Sam didn’t get this much character development throughout the entirety of season 1! There’s a good reason Gabriel has been a fan-favorite for a very long time, and I think a big part of it is this particular scene.

Because here, we get to see Gabriel being vulnerable. And we even see Dean show a little vulnerability, as he can empathize being the third party to explosive arguments between the two people who mean everything to him.

I mean... okay, it will never see the light of day, but I wrote a little bit of a Reverse ‘Verse fic (because I’m a sucker for Reverse ‘Verse) and this was the scene I started with. Not s1e1, not even the resurrection in s4e1, but this scene. Because this scene, more than any other, is critical to the way not only Gabriel’s (first) arc plays out, but also to how Sam and Dean conduct themselves for the rest of the season (and maybe a bit beyond, it’s been a hot minute since I watched s6 and later). Dean is angry but determined, he has a point to make, he is going to save Sammy and if he can’t do that, then he’s going to damn well die trying. But Sam... it’s after this episode that we start really seeing how bone-achingly tired Sam is. It’s after this conversation - where one of the other archangels, one of the few beings who can truly understand how powerful Michael and Lucifer are - says that there’s no other way around this that Sam seems to start inching towards giving in. Saying yes.

Sure, in the actual episode, he seems outraged by the idea, practically scoffs at it - “you want us to say yes to those sons of bitches?” - but it’s after this where Sam really seems run down.

I mean, look at the episodes before and after (HAH you thought I forgot about that first point I made at the very beginning of this post! I did, briefly, but I’ve circled back to it, thanks for being understanding). In “The Curious Case of Dean Winchester,” Sam behaves much as he did since the start of s4, which is to say, ‘annoying little know-it-all brother tossed into the middle of the apocalypse and just trying his best’ and it works well for the mad scramble for any scrap of information that’s happening in s4/early s5.

But in “The Real Ghostbusters” it’s different. This is another funny meta episode - except, while Sam and Dean are technically aware of the joke, they aren’t as amused by it as the audience is. And it’s not because of the ghosts. It’s because they’re just... done. Especially Sam. Dean has that nice little moment with the cosplayers at the end of the episode, but Sam... threatens to shoot Chuck. Sam ‘goes darkside’ more often than pretty much any other character in the show, but that moment is different. It’s a flat promise, not a threat. He’s not being an asshole, like he is after losing his soul. He’s just... done. And it’s obvious to see.

Gabriel’s confession is the turning point for Sam in s5, and it informs a lot of his behavior through the rest of s5, and possibly beyond! Like I said, I haven’t watched past s5 in a very long time, so I don’t feel confident enough to analyze that specific sort of character line, but I feel confident in saying that hearing one of the most powerful beings in the universe basically say “it doesn’t matter what you do - your destiny is unavoidable” and then he’s proven right (Sam says yes to Lucifer, and Dean eventually does say yes to Michael down the line!)... like, that’s really gotta fuck up your world view that was built on free will and throwing off the shackles of fate. Sam managed to avoid his ‘destiny’ in s2... but then it turns out that that wasn’t ever his destiny. Lucifer was his destiny.

Talk about an obscured view of the inner self.

#thebisexualmandalorian #jesse #max answers #spn #naturally super #changing channels #im having some THOUGHTS yall

[all-you-need-is-paul-mccartney]

The Couple Next Door VIII (Roger Taylor x Female!Reader)

Find Part Seven Here

A/N: Honestly, I never expected this fic to get to 8 chapters, but here we are!

Summary: Roger and Y/n babysit for John and Veronica

(You can imagine the canon or Hardy!Roger; whatever bohemians your rhapsody)

WARNINGS: Self-doubt, swearing maybe(?), mentions of sex (like... once)

This chapter will be rated as a T. Enjoy!

"If you need anything, literally anything, please call us. We know where everything is, and--" 

 "John, I promise I'll call if we need to. Roger and I will be fine," you tried to assure the bassist, giving his shoulder a pat as he took a breath. 

 "Okay, okay." He smiled, though it was a sad-looking one. You knew being away from Bobby was going to be difficult for him, and you tried your best to keep him calm, and ensure him not to worry a bit. 

 "Y/n is very responsible," Roger, who was standing next to you, reminded John. He knew John was aware of that, but Roger didn't like seeing John emotionally distraught. He saw John cry once so far in his life, and it was so heartbreaking that he decided he never wanted to see him cry ever again. 

 Veronica walked through the door into the nursery with Bobby in her arms. 

"Let's say goodbye to Daddy," she cooed as she handed him over to John, who repeatedly kissed the infant's head over and over again, whispering to him how much he loves him, and how he was gonna be right back. 

 You watched with sad eyes and a pouty lip as John and his son interacted, Bobby reaching up to grab John's finger with his tiny hands. Roger gauged your reaction, taking quick mental notes of how John was acting so he could mimic his behaviour with Bobby later. 

 Veronica eventually had to tell John that they were going to be stuck in traffic if they spent any longer at home, so John placed Bobby in your embrace before blowing him a kiss. 

 "Uncle Roger will take good care of you, Bub. I love you," he whispered once more before thanking you again, and leaving the three of you in the nursery, though Roger followed them out and locked the door behind them. 

 You moved into the living room with Bobby in your arms, taking a seat on the sofa. Roger watched John and Veronica leave the driveway through the window, and you were saying inaudible, silly things to Bobby as he happily smiled at the faces you were also making.

 Roger looked over his shoulder to you, and your eyes flitted to him. "Rog, d'ja think you could get me a bottle from the refrigerator, please?" 

 He nodded quickly, and rushed out of the room, returning only moments later with a bottle. 

"Thanks, Love," you took the bottle from him, completely missing the look of pride sporting his face, but it didn't matter. You flipped the bottle, and Bobby, on instinct, reached out for it. You helped him hold it up, cooing about how hungry he was as he sucked the bottle non-stop. 

Roger watched you intently from the other side of the coffee-table, biting the nail of his thumb as he took note on how to feed Bobby. Or... how you were feeding him. 

 Your eyes moved up to him again, catching notice of his intense stare. "... D'ja wanna feed him?" You asked Roger gently. 

 He froze up for a moment, pointing to himself in silent questioning. You nodded, and Roger's cheeks darkened a few shades. 

 "Come over. He won't bite," you teased, tilting your head in the direction of the empty cushion next to you, which Roger occupied not moments later. 

 He reached out to balance the bottle for Bobby now, and you let go of it. Roger grinned airily when he realized he was doing it. You smiled warmly at how proud Roger looked. 

 "Here," you reached one of your hands out to grab the wrist of his free hand. You pulled his arm over, and Roger watched you closely as you slowly put Bobby in his grasp. You adjusted his posture a little bit, putting a hand over your heart. 

 "You're both adorable," you sighed, rising to your feet and slipping into the kitchen for a moment. Roger looked down at Bobby, smiling a little as the baby stared at him with his big round eyes as he continued to suck the milk from his bottle. 

 "Auntie Y/n was right, wasn't she? You are very hungry," Roger let a chuckle pass his lips as he watched this kid in astonishment. He was so small. How could someone so small eat seemingly so much? 

 When you returned, Bobby was nearly done with his bottle. "What a good boy! You ate all your food! Good job!" Bobby smiled at your praise, and Roger's expression matched. 

 "I can take him now, if you'd like. I know he may be a little heavy, and your arm'll fall asleep at some point." Roger kept silent until Bobby was completely done the bottle, who'd pulled away from it entirely. 

 You scooped Bobby up and burped him, to which you responded "ooh, big burp," and you took this moment to eye the clock on the wall. 

 "Nine o'clock?! You still have a whole hour to be up, Honey Bear," you gasped, earning a happy squeal from the baby. "Maybe some Play Time would be good to tucker you out, huh?" 

 "Play Time?" Roger asked rather excitedly. You laughed at his enthuisasm, nodding at his question. 

 "Can I play with him?" 

 "Well what are you gonna play?" 

 "Peek-a-Boo, probably," he admitted lamely. You just shook your head with a smile, shifting to sit cross-legged and facing Roger. You set Bobby on your lap so he was also facing him. 

 Roger's smile widened so much he could barely keep his eyes open. He also sat cross-legged, facing you and Bobby. 

 He put Bobby's empty bottle on the coffee table, rubbing his hands together in an epic preparation to play the most intense game of Peek-a-Boo known to man... 

 He pressed his hands over his face, and you gasped playfully. "Bobby! Oh my goodness! Uncle Roger's Gone!" 

 "Peek-a-Boo!" Roger exclaimed as he parted his hands from his face, Bobby's eyes widening, as well as his toothless grin. He giggled, though it was short-lived, for when Roger put his hands over his face again, Bobby fell silent. That is, until-- 

 "Peek-a-Boo!" 

 The child's laughs were contagious. Your head was thrown back as you laughed uncontrollably at the high giggles, and Roger took this time to just drink in how you looked when you weren't paying any mind to your surroundings. 

 The more of this situation he let himself become aware of, the easier it was for him to imagine the both of you in a place like this in the future, near or far. He was finally understanding why John loved being home so much. 

 Roger wouldn't admit it then, but he would give anything to be able to come home from work to this: a baby, and you. 

 You tilted your head back down, and before you could catch Roger staring right through you, he hid himself behind his hands again. 

 Peek-a-Boo lasted a little bit longer, but you and Roger eventually brought Bobby upstairs after he'd nearly fallen asleep in your lap. 

How a baby could have fallen asleep during Peek-A-Boo, you didn’t know. 

You set him down in his cradle, and rocked it slowly as Bobby drifted off to bed. You couldn't believe how well-behaved and quiet Bobby was, but you were not complaining; No, Sir. 

 Roger watched the both of you from the dresser, thumbnail between his teeth like earlier. 

 When you were sure Bobby was asleep, you caressed his soft pale cheeks with the back of your index finger before standing and tiptoeing away from the cradle. Roger got the door for you, and the both of you watched through the crack in the door for a moment or two before closing it completely. 

 "What now?" Roger asked gently. You shrugged before whispering, "Anything you want, really. Think of this time as a break." Roger nodded slowly, but made no move to leave his spot in front of the door. 

 "What will you be doing?" He asked after a moment. "Probably preparing for bed. We only have about seven hours of sleep if we're lucky, but he'll probably need to be taken care of in the middle of the night." 

You pursed your lips in thought. "Let's just head to bed, Rog, get as much sleep as we can." He only responded with a nod. You followed him down the hall, but disbanded to your separate rooms. You were taking John and Veronica's room, while Roger was occupying the bed in the spare room. 

 You turned at the threshold of the door, as did Roger. You looked at him wordlessly, as did he to you. 

 "G'night, Roger," you yawned gently into your hand. 

 "G'night, Y/n," Roger whispered back as you both inched your doors shut. 

Roger leaned up against the door as soon as it closed, and he let out a deep breath. 

 You both had to be here for two days, and not even two hours in, Roger was fuelling this domestic fantasy of his rather than fulfilling it. 

 He enjoyed every single minute of this, but with each passing second, Roger became increasingly aware of how much time was running out for the both of you to achieve this dream. 

 It stung, because Roger wasn't even sure if you wanted this. Of course you'd shown distaste for having children at this age, but even looking passed that, would you really want the father of your kids to be Roger Meddows Taylor, of all people?

The Sex Symbol, Roger Taylor? The sarcastic prick, Roger Taylor? The fuck-friend, Roger Taylor? 

Roger's chest ached as he pushed himself off the door and towards his bed. 

 Of course you wouldn't. 

 You could do so much better. 

 You sat up abruptly when you heard it. 

 Crying. 

 You tossed the comforter off your body and threw your robe on, which was lying at the end of the bed. You opened your door, making your way to the nursery, silently hoping he hadn't been crying for too long. 

 You yawned weakly into your hand before opening the door. When you stepped into the nursery, you didn't expect Roger to be there, in the rocking chair in the corner of the room, Bobby in his arms as he fed him another bottle.... 

But there he was. 

 "Needed a changin', and then he was hungry," he explained quietly. You crossed your arms over your chest, observing how Roger held Bobby comfortably, and perfectly. 

 "Thought you didn't know how to take care of children, yet here you are changing and feeding him without my help." 

 "I never said I didn't know how to care for them, I said I was iffy with them," he corrected softly, never taking his eyes off the featherlight hairs on Bobby's head.

 You raised an eyebrow, though Roger was focused on the child in his arms. 

  You couldn't even feed him on his own earlier, and now you're the Nappy Master? Yeah. Alright. 

 "That's not what you told me on the lift earlier today," you argued lightly, hands on your hips. 

 Roger sighed, crossing one leg over the other as he rocked slowly in the chair. "Maybe I wanted you to help me, alright?" You offered a sad smile, and he accepted it as a gentle apology. 

 The corners of his lips twitched upward as his eyes fell back to Bobby. "'N fact, the more I spend with this little guy, the more I wish I had a kid." He looked up to you. 

"Crazy to think, huh? Once the King of One-Night Stands wanting a family," he spoke as if the concept were a funny joke; a paradox, even. 

 It was your turn to stare from the bookshelf on the other side of the nursery. 

 "... I know we have this arrangement and everything, and this was supposed to work out because neither of us wanted families of our own," you tensed at his words, but your shoulders fell when he said, "... and don't fret, I'm not gonna leave you." 

 "... But," you started for him. 

 "But," he paused. 

"... I'm starting to understand what I'll be missing out on. Just makes me sad, is all." You pushed off the bookshelf and took a seat on the floor in front of Roger, the bright moon casting almost an ethereal glow along the side of his pale, sleepy face. 

 "What would you cherish about it if you had a family, Rog?" 

 "The fact that I'm being loved for more than my body would be a start," he said. You felt your stomach drop at that. 

 "Rich coming from a guy like me, I know," he sighed. "The idea of settling down, having constants in my life.... I'm craving that. I know I'm young, and I'm not tied down in a committed relationship, and I should be cherishing this freedom but..." 

You tilted your head a little as he tried to piece together what he was about to say next. He swallowed, eyes falling to your face. 

 You looked so pretty... 

 "... What if I don't wanna be alone anymore, Y/n?"

 You hadn't expected that, but it did explain the constant one-night stands he had with groupies: He was in search of validation; and what better way than to take a girl to bed and love on her all night? 

 "I... I have so much love to give, and no one to give it to." His voice sounded weak, and he looked helplessly at Bobby, who was still suckling away at the milk in his bottle. 

 "... What if he was right...?" You frowned a little as Roger lifted his gaze to you again. 

 "Mr. Garrison. I mean, what if having children is just as rewarding as he says it is?" You hadn't noticed you'd been crying until you could taste your salty tears on your lips. You'd been reminded of your conversation with Bethany a few weeks prior, and now you were asking yourself all the same questions. 

 "We'd be missing out on a good life," you laughed upsettingly, rubbing your eyes dry with the sleeve of your robe. 

 Roger didn't say much after that. After Bobby finished eating, Roger burped him and put him back to bed. Like before, Bobby fell right to sleep. 

 Roger rose to his feet, and then helped you up gently by your elbows. You followed him out of the room, and closed the door behind you. 

 Roger slid his arm around your back and slowly walked you down to your room. You took a step through the door, and when you felt his arm fall from your body as he began mumbling his "goodnight"s, you immediately turned back and caught him by his wrist. 

 He didn't say anything, and you rushed through your head for something to say. 

"Stay," You said after another second of silence. 

 Roger's confused look melted into one of adoration, lips parted and eyebrows lifted. 

 "... Roger, I don't wanna be alone either." 

 And that did it.

 Without another word, Roger had stepped into the room with you, and he shut the door behind him. You untied your robe, and Roger watched from where he was standing as you let it drop to the floor.

 It's not like you were wearing nothing, but a long shirt and your underwear was pretty close to nothing. 

 He scooped you up in his arms silently, catching the light switch with his elbow as he slid the both of you into bed.

 You expected him to just roll back over, but when one of his palms fell to rest at your hip, head on top of yours, you couldn't help but hold your breath. 

 At this point you and Roger'd had a fair amount of sex, but being wrapped up in his arms like that; his thumbs dragging down your bare skin in lazy, invisible patterns... it was the most intimate thing you'd done with him ever.

 You only pushed yourself closer to Roger, and as you drifted off, basking in the warmth of his body heat, and drowning in the smell of his body wash, you heard him mumble, "you're not alone anymore, Doll."

_____________________________

A/A/N: Guys, the amount of notes I’ve been getting for these fics recently are blowing me out of the water! I want to thank all of you for your support by liking, reblogging, and leaving me replies. It really means a lot to me, and inspires me to go on doing what I love most: Producing these stories for you guys! I hope you all enjoyed this one. Things are only gonna get better from here! <3

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[anicalewis]

Queer Eye for the Dead Guy

Karamo: Okay, guys, ready? Today, we’re meeting Lim Tian Ching. He’s been through a rough patch recently, when he died.

Antoni: *sympathetic eyes* Oh, that’s hard.

Karamo: But now, he’s moved out of his mom’s house and into a new place, in the Netherworld.

Jonathan: Yaaas! Get that fresh start, honey!

Karamo: Tian Ching was nominated by his mother, Madam Lim.

*cut to interview tape*

Madam Lim: You might say that Tian Ching has an issue with arrested development. Both in that he can be childish sometimes and in that his development was arrested by his sudden and unexpected death.

Lim Tian Bai: Look, my cousin is kind of creepy, okay? I said it. He’s going after my ex, which is already a little weird, but he’s making it more weird by appearing in her dreams and making black blood run out of his eyes.

Madam Lim: I nominated my son because I want so much for him to be the good, happy, successful man I know he can be. Because I love him, and also because I want him to stop haunting our family from beyond the grave.

*cut back to the Fab Five*

Bobby: Sounds like he’s a bit rough around the edges. We have our work cut out for us.

Karamo: We have a really exciting goal here: at the end of this week, Tian Ching is getting married!

*all squeal and/or cheer*

Bobby: So we need to help him make this house a home, both for him and for his new partner.

Tan: And get him ready for his wedding!

Jonathan: *snaps fingers* Let’s help this glam ghost get his afterlife together!

*all cheer*

*Fab Five pull up in front of Tian Ching’s house*

Bobby: All right, all right . . . not a lot of landscaping, but that’s hard given that the ground here seems to be pretty much ash and dust . . . I’ll be interested to see the inside.

*Tian Ching meets them at the gate*

Karamo: Hello! *bear hugs Tian Ching*

Jonathan: Oh my god, let me look at this hair. Let me touch it. Let me get all up in it. This is gorgeous.

Tan: Ooh, I like a man that knows how to wear colors! Excellent!

*they all pile indoors*

Antoni: Where’s the kitchen? Can I eat your food?

*Jonathan and Karamo come prancing out of Tian Ching’s bedroom wearing a silk robe and a fur coat*

Jonathan: I feel so fancy!

Karamo: What is all this? You have, like, Elton John’s wardrobe in there!

Bobby: So this is your main social space? Where do people sit? What happens when you have company over? And why is it so dark in here?

Antoni, in the kitchen: Okay, it seems like when you bite into the food, it sometimes shrivels and turns black.

Tan: Oh my gosh, Antoni, stop eating it! Ew!

Antoni: I’ll be honest, it’s not the WORST food situation I’ve encountered, but it’s not great.

Karamo: Okay, are we ready to get this show on the road?

*all cheer*

DAY ONE: D.O.A.

Bobby: Where do you typically get your furniture and home decor? I haven’t seen any stores in the area. Like, stores of any kind. Or actually, any buildings besides this one.

Tian Ching: What usually happens is my mom burns a miniature model of something, like a chair, and then that object appears in my house. *pats chair*

Bobby: . . .

Bobby: Okay, do you think you could get her to burn, like, a bunch of gallery lighting and maybe some storage cubes?

Antoni: *from another room* And some avocados!

Tan: I see you have a lot of silk and drapey fabrics going on. Basically a lot of fancy loungewear. Do you have a more polished look for daytime?

Tian Ching: *confused frown*

Tan: Like, what do you wear when you go outside the house?

Tian Ching: *gestures at the silk robe he has on*

*cut to Tan looking into the camera with a little smirk, shaking his head*

Antoni: Tell me about your relationship to food.

Tian Ching: Sometimes it’s been a little rough. For instance, the last time I ate a meal with my family, I was fatally poisoned.

Antoni: Oh no! That sounds like a really tough experience to get past.

Jonathan: All right, Casper the Sexy Ghost, tell me all about your gorgeous grooming routine. What do you do in the mornings?

Tian Ching: Well, my floating servants do most of it for me, so you might have to talk to them, because I’m not always paying attention.

Jonathan: But you wear sunscreen, right? Every day?

Tian Ching: Well . . .

Jonathan: *looks meaningfully into the camera*

Karamo: Talk to me about your family.

Tian Ching: My mom is great. She’s always been really supportive.

Karamo: That’s good to hear. Don’t you have a sister, too?

Tian Ching: Yes, but I think she might have murdered me.

Karamo: . . . Okay, we’ve definitely got some stuff to unpack here.

*Fab Five dancing to music break*

DAY TWO: GETTING IN THE SPIRIT

Antoni: So, what are your experiences with cooking?

Tian Ching: Literally none. My family has an army of servants.

Antoni: . . . Right.

Tan: I love that you’re not afraid of color. But I think your pants could be skinnier, and we need to try out some jackets.

*Bobby, in the background, works with a crew of zombies to install light fixtures*

Jonathan: What’s the deal with these floating servants? Can we talk about the makeup they’re wearing? Because honestly, it’s a LOT.

Antoni: Okay! You say someone put poison in your favorite tea, right? I bet that makes it pretty hard for you to enjoy tea now. So what we’re going to do is, we’re going to reclaim that experience by showing you how to make tea yourself! Have you ever boiled water before?

Tian Ching: I have not.

Antoni: *thousand yard stare* *snaps out of it and claps his hands* Okay!

Karamo: Tell me about how you and your bride-to-be, Li Lan, met.

Tian Ching: We knew each other as children. *shakes head and smiles* She was never afraid to call me out when I behaved badly.

Karamo: *nodding thoughtfully* You know that’s a gift, right? When people tell us we could be better, they care enough about us to help us improve.

Tian Ching: Oh yes, I always liked that about Li Lan! She has high expectations.

Karamo: She makes you want to be a better man?

Tian Ching: Exactly.

Karamo: Great. So, can we talk about why you thought it was okay to throw knives at her friends?

Jonathan: *speaking to camera* Poltergeist is not a good look for ANYONE.

Tian Ching: *tearing up* They tried to exorcise me! They hired someone to curse me!

Karamo: And I’m sure that hurt. But you have to rise above, you know? You have to be the better person.

Tian Ching: *sniffles* You’re right. I am better than that.

Karamo: Okay, bring it in.

*they hug*

Karamo: Now, let’s talk about what is and is not appropriate when you’re haunting someone’s dreams.

Jonathan: *speaking to camera* Appearing in dreams? Great. Swoon. Literally the man of her dreams. Love it. But oozing blood out of your face while you do it? Oh honey, no.

Tan: I know you like a bold pattern, so I had your mom burn you this jacket. Try it on. What do you think?

Tian Ching: I like that I can wear it open, just like I usually do with my robes.

Tan: Exactly! Now, do you know how to do a French tuck?

DAY THREE: THE GHOST WITH THE MOST

Jonathan: Are you ready to get your makeover on?

Tian Ching: I think so?

Jonathan: Yaaas! All right, so, we’re keeping the hair, because obviously, look at it, it’s like a lush glossy waterfall. But we’re going to do a little eye mask that will help you with that blood-coming-out-of-your-eyes issue. Because are we going to be bleeding out of our eyes at our wedding? No we are NOT. And we’ll do a little mani-pedi, too, because self-care is important.

*Jonathan and Tian Ching return to Tian Ching’s house. The others meet them at the door and exclaim over how amazing he looks*

Bobby: Ready to see the house?

*they tour the house*

Bobby: I put in a lot more lighting, because honestly, it was gloomy in here.

Jonathan: We want Li Lan to be able to SEE her gorgeous hubby!

Bobby: That’s right! And there’s lots of storage, so you don’t have to have valuable secret objects like those mysterious red books just lying around.

Tian Ching: I love it!

Antoni: Now let’s head to the kitchen! *speaking to camera* I wanted Tian Ching to learn a dish that he could make for himself, but also for Li Lan or for company. But I also needed to meet him where he was. Which turned out to be “let’s start with locating the kitchen.”

Antoni: Okay, just like we practiced. Now pour the tea . . . into the cups. Perfect! Try that. Isn’t that delicious?

Tian Ching: It is! And even though I’m already dead, I still like that this way I know for sure it isn’t poisoned.

Tan: All right, time for a little fashion show! Everyone ready?

*Fab Five sprawl on comfortable new sofa*

Tan: Here comes Look Number One! It’s a little more structured than before, perfect for daytime. To the extent that the Netherworld has day and night.

Tian Ching: *flounces out of the bedroom and parades around while everyone oohs and ahhs*

Tan: And Look Number Two, an upgraded version of Tian Ching’s usual wardrobe!

*Jonathan fans himself and pretends to faint*

Bobby: Is that a French tuck?

Tan: You better believe it is! Now, let’s see Tian Ching’s wedding outfit.

*all squeal and sigh*

Jonathan: Li Lan is going to absolutely DIE when she sees you! Oops, haha, you know what I mean!

*Tian Ching sits on the sofa with the Fab Five*

Tian Ching: I want to thank you all for helping me. It would have been so easy for everyone to just give up on me, to think I can’t improve, especially since I’m dead. But you all showed me that I can be better.

*Antoni’s eyes brim with tears*

Karamo: Hey, we just pointed the way. The most important thing is that you were willing to change. Come here.

*all hug*

Jonathan: I cannot WAIT for this wedding!

#the ghost bride #queer eye #fab five

[atc74]

Honey Bee

Square(s) Filled: Michael!Dean for @heavenandhellbingo and Angst to Fluff for @spngenrebingo

Warnings: Slight canon divergence, Daddy!Dean, angel possession, threats to loved ones, Dean giving up, perseverance, loved ones never giving up, fluff. It’ll hit you in the feels. 

Summary: Michael has taken over Dean’s mind and body, but Dean makes a deal to let him spend one last day with his family, so he can be there for his daughter on her big day. 

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Characters: Dean, Michael!Dean, Reader, Sam, Audrey Winchester (daughter OC)

Word Count: 1595

Written for: @heavenandhellbingo, @spngenrebingo, and @mrswhozeewhatsis​ 2019  Louden Swain FanFic FanArt Project

Beta’d by: @amanda-teaches, thank you for always being there when I need you, in more ways than one! Also a huge thanks and much love to my beautiful Boo, @iwantthedean​, for reading this over and boosting my confidence. Love you both to the moon!

A/N: I was taking a much needed break from cleaning this morning when Honey Bee started playing. While I love this song and have heard it a hundred times (or more), I took a moment to let the lyrics wash over me. 

As often happens, scenes flashed before my eyes and I knew this would make a terrific Daddy!Dean piece with the feels we didn’t know we needed. Sacrifice is not out of character for our fearless hunter, and I expect his child to fight as fearlessly as her Daddy.

Like Dean’s scent? Buy it here from @scentsfromthebunker!

“No! I am not walking down that aisle until my dad gets here!” Audrey shouted, startling her mother and Uncle Sam with her outburst. “He promised he’d be here and he hasn’t broken a promise to me yet. Not once!” 

“I know, baby. I know,” Y/N sighed, pulling her daughter into a tight embrace. 

The last few weeks had been hard on everyone, but especially on Audrey. Her wedding was the next day and her dad, Dean, was currently in parts unknown, possessed by the archangel Michael. 

~*~

“Daddy, don’t do this!” Audrey begged of her father as he faced off against the archangel. 

“Honey Bee, it’s the only way to defeat Lucifer,” Dean pulled her into his arms. “I’ll be back soon. I won’t miss it, I promise. You’re going to be the most beautiful bride.” 

“Daddy,” she cried, her head buried in the crook of his neck while he held her. 

~*~

It was dark, trapped in his own mind while the archangel went about experimenting and burning through monsters. 

“Let me out!” Dean screamed, banging his fists on the cage he was locked inside. 

“Not yet, Dean. I’ve got some business I need to take care of,” Michael tsked as he watched the vampire perish. “Too much grace I guess.” 

“Please, just let me go see my daughter. Then I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll be quiet if you just give me a day with her. Just one day. Please?” Dean begged from the recess of his cage. 

“Oh yes. Your little honey bee is to be wed, if I recall from your memories. She is a very pretty girl, Dean. I’m sure she’ll be very happy to see me there,” Michael chuckled as he went deep into Dean’s mind. 

~*~

“Daddy!” Audrey’s voice rang through the upper floors of Bobby’s house. Dean bound from his bed down the hall to her room. 

“Audrey, what’s wrong?” Dean burst into her room, the nightlight, combined with the dawn, casting shadows about the room. 

“The shadow man is here, Daddy,” she whimpered, crawling into Dean’s lap as he sat on the edge of her bed. 

“Shhh, Honey Bee, it’s okay. Daddy’s the only one here. There isn’t anyone else, even the shadow man,” Dean cooed softly, holding her head and rocking back and forth. “Let’s have some water, that usually does the trick, huh, Bee.” 

Y/N stood in the doorway, watching her husband and daughter. Within minutes, Audrey was sound asleep in his arms. He gently laid her down under the covers and walked over to his wife. 

“The shadow man?” she whispered

“Yeah, that’s the third time this month. I’m going to have Sammy check into it, but I’m sure it’s nothing. Just her imagination and the shadows playing tricks on it,” Dean kissed her, pulling her back down the hall to their room. “Let’s get a couple more hours, huh?”

~*~

“Your little honey bee is a special one, Dean,” Michael taunted. “I’ve got plans for her as well.” 

“You leave my family the hell alone! You’ve got me, you don’t need them!” Dean shouted. 

“Oh, Dean. How else will I get you to behave?” Michael laughed. 

“Give me one day with them, this Saturday, then you can have control back and I’ll do whatever the hell you want. Just give me twenty four hours, then you win,” Dean begged. 

“Twenty four hours, then you’re mine forever, Dean. But if you trick me, I will end them. All of them while I make you watch,” Michael laughed, locking Dean away once more. 

~*~

“Daddy! Look at me!” A three-year-old Audrey buzzed around the library, half dancing, half jumping in her bee costume. “I’m a honey bee!” 

“You are the cutest little honey bee that ever was, Bee!” Dean picked her up in his arms, tickling her as she squirmed. 

“Daddy, stop!” Audrey giggled, but she wrapped her hand tightly around her father’s neck. 

He tucked her into bed later that night, still wearing her yellow and black tutu. “I love you, Honey Bee.” 

“Love you too, Daddy,” Audrey yawned, her little fists rubbing tired eyes. “Don’t forget the nightlight.” 

“Never, Bee,” Dean promised, flipping the bee nightlight on as he exited her room. He turned back to see her snuggled up with her blanket.

Dean tried to remember back to a time before Y/N, before Audrey. And, for the life of him, he couldn’t recall what life was like without them and he knew now it didn’t matter. They were all that mattered to him. His girls and his brother and his baby. That was all he needed, all of them safe and sound. 

~*~

Dean woke suddenly at the world shifted around him. He was standing in front of the Bunker, still dressed in Michael’s stuffy clothes. 

“Twenty four hours, starting now, Dean. Don’t make me regret this, because if you do, the last thing you’ll see will be the mangled bodies of your family while the world burns around them. Do I make myself clear?” Michael preached inside his mind. 

“Crystal. Now leave me the hell alone, douchebag,” Dean commanded, knocking on the iron door. He composed himself as he waited. It felt like minutes had passed until he heard the slide of the heavy lock on the other side. The door swung open and he was greeted with a pistol and an angel blade, and his brother. “Hi ya, Sammy.”

“Dean?” Sam gasped, pulling his brother into a tight embrace. He didn’t know how, but he knew it was Dean, not Michael, despite the way he was dressed. “How? When? What are you doing here?”

“I made a deal for twenty four hours. I need to be here Sammy, then I gotta let him take me back,” Dean admitted, his face pinched at the thought of never seeing his family again, even if it meant they would be safe from Michael’s wrath.

“We’ll find a way, Dean,” Sam vowed. 

“No. If he thinks I’ve tricked him, he’ll kill all of you. And, I can’t have that. It’s better this way, Sammy,” Dean explained. 

“Better for who? Us or him?” The mumble carried up the staircase to Dean’s ears. 

“Y/N? God, you’re a sight for sore eyes, Sweetheart,” Dean beamed, seeing his wife for the first time in weeks. His long legs carried him down to her in seconds, reaching out his arms for her. 

“Don’t you ‘Sweetheart’ me, Winchester!” she shouted, poking him in the chest. 

“Ow!” Dean flinched. She always was stronger than she looked. 

“You think we’re just going to let you go without a fight? We’ve been looking everywhere for you, for any sign of you! And, you just show up here like it’s no big deal!” Y/N continued shouting at him. 

“I know, okay! I’ve done everything I can think of, this is the only way!” Dean retorted, ripping the stupid hat off his head. 

“There is always another way, Dean. You taught me that, now you’re ready to give up?” Y/N took a step forward, shoving him back again. 

Dean’s eyes flashed blue and he spoke. “Y/N, it’s a pleasure to see you in the flesh. You’re quite lovely. Now, I made Dean here a deal and I will keep my end of it if he does. I let him out for twenty hour...twenty three hours and fifty minutes, and then he comes crawling back to me. No tricks, no traps, and you all live. If you attempt to free him, I will kill each of you slowly with his hands. Do you understand me?” 

“Michael, I’ll kill you myself you son of a bitch!” Y/N screamed and lunged for the angel, but Sam held her back. 

“No!” Audrey shouted from the library. All heads turned to her, glowing in her white gown. “Dad made his deal, mom, and we’ll have to live with that. If I can only get one day, I’ll take it.” 

“Baby…” Y/N started.

“No, mom. It’s okay. Michael, please leave now. You’ll get him back in one piece, you have my word. Just let me have my dad, okay?” Audrey approached the angel, eyeing him carefully.  

“Your father is right, Audrey. You are a most beautiful bride,” he uttered, then his eyes flashed blue once more. “Daddy?”

“Honey Bee?” Dean staggered toward her, her arms wrapping tight as he fell into them. “I said I’d be here didn’t I?”

“You never break your promises, Daddy,” she cried, her head buried into the crook of his neck while they held each other. 

“Bee, it’s your wedding day, archangels couldn’t keep me away,” Dean chuckled through his poor attempt at humor. “Hang on my love, time’s running out. We’ll cherish the day, that’s what your life is about now. Hang on to him, Bee. Don’t ever let go.” 

“I won’t, Daddy. You taught me how to love and how to fight and I will,” Audrey vowed. 

“A brand new world awaits you, but you waited for me,” Dean marveled. “Thank you, Honey Bee. Now let’s go get you hitched.” 

Michael sat back and watched the ceremony, bored and disgusted with all the love choking his meatsuit. He kicked back and closed his eyes, waiting for Dean’s time to expire. He drifted back to simpler times, when the other world was his. 

A soft buzzing stirred inside his mind, rousing him from his slumber. Dazed by the sound, he inspected his surroundings. He found himself trapped in a warded steel box, and surrounded by millions of honey bees.

Did you like it? The nicest thing you can do for a writer is reblog their work and tell them, and others, how much you like it!

The Whole Enchilada: @iwantthedean​ @dolphincliffs​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​ @meganwinchester1999​ @cherrycokegirls1​ @closetspngirl​  @roxyspearing​ @flamencodiva​ @blacktithe7​ @sis-tafics​ @just-another-busyfangirl​ @evansrogerskitten​ @amanda-teaches​ @hannahindie​ @wotinspntarnation​ @winchesterprincessbride​ @winecatsandpizza​ @kickingitwithkirk​  @wi-deangirl77​ @hobby27​ @mogaruke​ @gh0stgurl​ @paintrider13-blog​ @hunterscabin @alleiradayne​ @idreamofplaid​ @seenashwrite​ @crashdevlin​

The Dean’s List: @jerkbitchidjitassbutt​ @dean-winchesters-bacon​ @maddiepants​ @thing-you-do-with-that-thing​ @adoptdontshoppets​ @mtngirlforever​ @supernatural-jackles​​

#heavenandhellbingo #spngenrebingo #Dean Winchester #michael!dean #2019 louden swain fanfic fanart project #Daddy!Dean #Dean x Reader

[nonbinaryparent]

https://amp.mindbodygreen.com/articles/one-habit-for-raising-children-who-actively-question-gender-stereotypes

The One Habit To Teach To Raise Kids Who Actively Question Gender

By Bobbi Wegner, Psy.D.

June 10, 2019

Last night I walked in late from my clinical practice and grabbed a quick dinner before bed. My kids were amped up and excited, and my son (Tyler, age 8) and daughter (Eve, age 5) played on the couch. They are like little puppies, often jumping all over each other and constantly touching, talking, and engaging, for better or worse. I mostly try to quiet the constant buzz of noise that too easily seeps into my brain, but last night I caught wind of a statement and then a question directed at me.

"Eve, you are tomboy. Mom, Eve is a tomboy, right?"

Eve continued pouncing on her brother unaware of the implication, but it gave me pause. I listened, thought, and noticed my own internal reaction.

By all outside accounts, I guess Eve is a "tomboy." She is tough as nails, rides dirt bikes, wrestles (and sometimes dominates) her big brothers, and often takes her T-shirt off when she’s hot.

I am proud of her. I was a "tomboy" too. What I wanted to say in that moment was, "Yes, Eve is a tomboy, and she does whatever the f*ck she wants." My friends joke that she is my feral child, fiercely independent. If I were to disappear for a week or two, it would be Eve who figured out dinner for everyone. She would probably ride her dirt bike to the local coffee shop and negotiate an IOU contract with a confused yet impressed barista.

The thing is, she is not a tomboy. Or a boy at all. She is herself. She is a girl. She likes dirt bikes, wrestling, winning, and can weather physical injury better than a cage fighter. She also loves puppies and playing house, and her most favorite thing is cooking with me. We share a deep love for beautiful napkins, dinner parties, fancy flowery perfume, and cool heels. She is Eve. She is cool. And she is all girl.

I push them to ask themselves: Why do we say what we say? How do we know that to be true? Where did that come from? Where did we learn that? What are we actually trying to say?

I know this personality makeup well as we share passions that are often paradoxical and opposing to the outside world. I am a woman with varied interests, and I feel all woman. Eve is a girl with varied interests, and as far as I can see now, she is all girl. It is that simple.

Although in my own inner dialogue, I want to say, "Yeah Ty, Eve is a tomboy, so watch out," that would undermine everything about those qualities being feminine, too. I would be gendering behaviors that aren't inherently gendered. My automatic response is not appropriate for the current culture anymore. And the responsibility falls on me to notice my automatic thought, process it, and say something different.

Although it might seem that I am advocating for gender equality for my daughter, this is a direct message to my son, too. The message I want all my children to hear loud and clear is that you are you. There is no expectation from me around how you should behave based on your gender. Of course, there is an expectation to be kind, polite, welcoming, hardworking, and courageous, to name a few, but those are expectations I have across the board for all of my children.

Teaching the art of questioning.

Gender stereotyping is reductive and limits the horizons of possibility, and denying expression is only harmful to our kids' health and well-being in the long run. One of my parenting priorities is to offer as much opportunity as possible so my kids have the freedom to choose their path themselves. I want to build self-efficacy. Ultimately, my hope is that they lead an empowered and self-led life. Training starts now, not in adulthood. We need to be helping our kids build a sense of self from the inside out.

So, in the moment, I teach Ty that tomboy is a dated word that doesn't apply anymore. But what I am really saying is it is OK to be you—in whatever form that is. I constantly challenge them to think critically about the language they use. So much is absorbed from school and the outside community, and the best defense I have is to teach intellectual and emotional curiosity.

I push them to ask themselves: Why do we say what we say? How do we know that to be true? Where did that come from? Where did we learn that? What are we actually trying to say?

For example, any time they say, "that is a girl toy or a boy toy," I ask them to think about what makes it so. Inevitably, they can see the flaw in their assumption; they learn to self-reflect, wrestle with meaning, and what I love the most—it removes me from the often annoying power position of teacher saying yay or nay. I can join them in an intellectual exercise rather than impose a way to behave.  

Much of the meaning we create as a culture is so nuanced and implicit that we all participate in perpetuating ideas that we do not even buy into it. The first step in teaching kids to be open is to notice our own bias and challenge ourselves. We need to ask ourselves the same questions we ask our children.

Why do we think this? Where did it come from? What are we actually trying to say? It not only combats gender inequality and toxic masculinity, but it pushes kids to be more self-aware and tighten the language they use, not relying on automatic (what I call) "lazy language." Say what you actually intend to say.

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Taking small steps.

Listen, some parents will be far more comfortable and at ease dispelling gender than others, and that mostly has to do with our own progress toward questioning and deconstructing gender, a process that many adults are still going through themselves. That's OK. Some parents are bravely raising "theybies" and "gender-creative kids," for example, and that's amazing; meanwhile, for many other parents, that's just outside the scope of what they're capable of right now, no matter how much they want to support gender diversity.

But all parents can teach their kids the art of questioning gender. If you want to raise kids who feel free to explore their identity with complete freedom, it starts with raising kids with access to the tools of curiosity and open-mindedness. Raise kids who are open to following their interests, willing to explore, and committed to noticing the meaning embedded in our culture. Although those may seem like a tall order for such young kids, these are traits that are easiest to internalize the younger they are.

Here are a few simple habits to consider introducing in your household and parenting style to encourage a culture of questioning gender:

Notice any gendered language (i.e., anytime someone says someone did something because "they are a boy or a girl"). Notice it, name it, and encourage your kids to get curious about what that means.

Offer all options to all children. Boys are welcome to play house, and girls are welcome to play in the dirt. If the children naturally segregate, split time in both activities.

Create mixed-gender groups at home, with friends, and at school. Avoid the desire to tease your kids about "having crushes" on their friends of other genders.

Especially with boys, empathize and validate emotion. Positively reinforce sharing of all emotion with words. Help boys build a strong sense of identity that includes caring for and loving others.

Manage your own discomfort when your child wants to explore something outside of their culturally prescribed behavior (i.e., Eve wanting to take her shirt off, or Ty wanting to sit on the toilet to pee). Children are honest and will give feedback if it makes others uncomfortable. Your job is not to promote or rescue but rather to follow your child's lead.

Notice how work is divided in your home. What nonverbal messages are you sending? Be self-aware and reflective and see if your behavior matches your intentions.

Lastly, be self-compassionate. Know you will make missteps. So will your kids. Be honest. Be curious. And create an open dialogue.

#parenting #nonbinary

[shestillhasherquill]

Men, Women and all the Angels (2/?)

Summary: Emma Swan was an Angel, fallen from her grace and living a life of puffy vests, flannels and monsters. Killian Jones was a member of the British Men of Letters, but is just a disgraced expat, with an endless supply of rum and shotguns. What happens when the angel and the hunter have to face the threat posed by the Men of Letters? An SPN!AU

I apologise for the delay. My father passed away two months ago and I was not in any frame of mind to focus on fanfiction; nor did I have the motivation until recently to write again. It has been such a hard and painful time, and I’m so grateful to @kmomof4​ for being so great and understanding! I’m back @cssns​!!

Please go check out Kerry’s original artwork for this fic and give it all the love it truly deserves!! I will be updating every Monday, around this time!

ao3/ff.net

-/-

Killian shrugged out of his jacket and dropped it on a chair nearby, side-eyeing Gold the entire time. “Well? You gonna answer me?” he demanded when the older man remained quiet.

“What, no pleasantries, Jones?” Gold sneered, his eyes glinting dangerously. “We are old pals, afterall.”

“You’re no pal of mine, Gold,” Killian snipped. “How did you find me?”

“I’m still a part of the Men of Letters, Dearie. It’s not difficult to track down a British hunter in these here parts,” he mocked, adopting a mocking American accent. Killian couldn’t help but roll his eyes at Gold’s pretentiousness.

“And you thought I would welcome you with open arms, is that it?” Killian chuckled dryly. He remained standing, unwilling to let Gold have the higher ground in any way.

“Believe me, if it were up to me, I would not have come after your traitorous arse,” Gold spit out, his hands fisting at his side.

“Well, why are you here, then? I am no longer a part of your precious organisation. I have my place here, Gold.”

Gold looked like he wanted to do anything but talk to Killian, and Killian wouldn’t blame him. They did not part on good terms; no matter the playful rivalry between the Jones brothers and Gold, they had always had a certain respect for the older man. But everything changed when Liam died, including any relationship with Gold. There was nothing playful about how much he despised the man. Gold might not have killed Liam himself, but he definitely knew something. It took a long time for Killian to put his past behind him; seeing Gold again only brought everything back.

Gold’s expression was impassive as he took a seat again, his injured leg not allowing him to stand for too long. Killian felt an ugly sense of smugness rise up at this but he pushed it down, and he took his own seat. He had never been a man to take pleasure in another person’s pain; that was not the sign of a man with good form and integrity - that was not how Liam raised him.

“Hess has decided to expand to America,” Gold stated, leaning back in his chair. “You know how she despises the way the American hunters work. No order, no discipline,” he added, smiling thinly at Killian.

Killian returned Gold’s smile with equal rancor. “What does that have to do with me?”

Gold’s expression soured further, if it were possible. “She wants you back in the fold. She thinks you have an in with these hunters. Perhaps you could convince them to join our ranks. Hunt the monsters our way - the right way.”

Killian barked out a laugh, almost startling Gold. But that man had perfected the art of maintaining a stoic expression a long time ago and appeared rather unfazed. “What in the world made you think I would accept your offer?” he asked, taken aback by Gold’s audacity. “Have you forgotten how we had left things between us, Gold?”

Gold sighed, his hand gripping his cane tighter. “Jones, I have no quarrel with you. You were the one who defected from the Men of Letters.”

Killian shot to his feet, his temper flaring. “You lot are the reason my brother is dead. Why would I ever want to join you? You are everything that is wrong with the world.”

“I remember a time when the Men of Letters were everything you had in the world,” Gold replied.

“I have more to live for now. I have integrity, old man. Something you will never understand,” Killian spat.

Killian saw a menacing glint in Gold’s eye as the older man stood up again, smirking at him. “Oh, I know everything about what you live for, lad. Tell me, what was the name of your friend….Emma was it?”

Killian’s reaction was immediate and swift; he grabbed his gun from his holster, switching the safety off and had it aimed at Gold’s head in the blink of an eye. Gold stared at the muzzle of the gun calmly, as a parent would at a pouting child. Killian’s jaw ticked, angered both by Gold’s veiled threat and his lack of a reaction. “You stay away from her, you dick.”

Gold rolled his eyes, taking a step toward Killian. But that just made the younger man tighten his hold on his gun. “You can put your gun down, Dearie. I’m not here to make threats.”

“Funny. It sounded very much like you were,” Killian retorted.

“Why don’t you put your weapon down and we shall have a civilized conversation?” Gold suggested. “Or have you forgotten your manners?”

Killian hesitated, his body tense and on the edge. Gold might be a right bastard, but if he had wanted to harm Killian or anyone he cared about, he would have done so by now. He switched the safety back on, and slowly lowered his gun, never once taking his eyes off of Gold.

“Fine. Tell me why you’re here,” Killian growled out.

-/-

It was very early in the morning by the time Emma had reached her house, having driven all night to get back home to Henry. While she was not bothered by trivial human needs like food and rest, she still appreciated having a place to come to and relax. Not that she would call raising a teenage boy something that was relaxing. But Henry was a well-behaved boy for his age; he was smart, understanding and just - he was a good kid. She could not understand why anyone would ever want to harm him, just because he might not be entirely human. Evil wasn’t born, it was made - and that child did not have an ounce of evil in his body.

Unfortunately, most hunters saw the world simply  as humans and others - and all of the others apparently had to go. Emma too had once thought the angels were the good guys and the demons were the bad ones, but that was not the case. No matter how much she tried to convince herself that the world was not going to judge her and Henry, that the hunters would accept an angel and nephilim as one of them - she could not take that risk. Heck, she was not able to tell even Killian and she trusted him with her life, and more importantly, with Henry’s.

She was drawn out of her thoughts by a soft knock on her car window. She smiled when she noticed Mary Margaret there, wrapped up in a thick coat with a mug of hot cocoa in her hand. Emma rushed to get out of the car, not because she needed the warmth, but because she did not want Mary Margaret to freeze because she wanted to bring Emma her hot cocoa.

“Mary Margaret, it’s freezing outside!” Emma exclaimed, taking the offered cocoa from the other woman’s hands and urging her inside.

When they were both inside the house, their respective coats deposited and stomping the snow off their boots and leaving them to dry at the door.

“I was making something to drink for myself when I saw you drive up and thought I could bring you some to warm you up,” Mary Margaret explained sheepishly. “It’s so warm inside the house, I did not expect it to be that cold outside.”

Emma couldn’t help but be touched by her friend’s gestures, smiling fondly at her and shaking her head. David and Mary Margaret had been her first friends when she had first started hunting; they had met when Mary Margaret’s father had been murdered by a demon possessing her step-mother. It had been awful for Emma to even hear, how David had successful managed to send the demon back it came from, but her step-mother had been beyond help. In one day, Mary Margaret had lost the only family she had had. David had taken her with him, and they had slowly fallen in love.

Mary Margaret had become the mother-hen for most hunters, as well as a master weapons’ maker. She had first worked out of Bobby Singer’s house, but when she had heard that Emma was a ‘single-mother’, she had jumped at the opportunity to help. Emma could not tell you when it happened, but one day Henry and her were living alone in their cabin and before they knew it they had moved into David and Mary Margaret’s house. Now David and her went on hunts and Mary Margaret took take of Henry. Emma never had to worry about him since then. While Mary Margaret did not prefer to come on hunts with them, she was more than capable of defending herself and Henry.

Besides, it felt nice to be a part of a family of sorts again. David often treated Emma as a younger sibling; if only he knew how many ieons she had been alive.

Emma sipped her hot cocoa, sneaking quietly into Henry’s room and sat on his bed, watching him sleep. She was tempted to push his hair away from his face, noting that she had to cut it at some point before it grew too long and she received a note from Henry’s school about hair length. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the trivial human concerns.

“Hey,” she whispered, placing her mug of cocoa on Henry’s night stand. “Wake up, kid.”

Henry stirred, groaning at being woken so early. “No,” he grumbled. “Later, mom.”

Emma bit her lip, knowing that his sleep addled mind will take a moment to realise. And just as she predicted, his eyes flew open, staring at her hard. “Mom!” he exclaimed, scrambling out of his sheet and leaping into her waiting arms.

Emma chuckled, revelling in the feeling of having her son in her arms once again. It had been odd for her, the extent to which humans tended to display their affections. But after spending so many years in their company, not only had she come to adapt to it, she had come to relish it.

“Missed me?”

“Duh! Tell me everything! How was the hunt? How was Killian? What did you guys find? What happened? What took you so long?”

“Woah, woah. Slow down, kid.” Emma laughed, feeling a swell of affection for this child. All angels were taught that their emotions were irrelevant, and unnecessary; they were above such human frailties. Or so she thought. But it was only now, in all her millions of years of existence has she come to appreciate these emotions, and their complex nature. It was as refreshing as it was jarring, every single time.

She had never felt more free than right now, masquerading as a human.

-/-

It was dawn by the time Gold had caught Killian up on everything that had happened since he had left Britian.

“You’re telling me Hess convinced you to bring me back? Why?” Killian demanded, his arms crossed across his chest defensively.

“Because the American hunters trust you. Besides, the Winchesters are harder to deal with, and you know how we function. You have a better chance of convincing them.”

“What makes you think I would side with you?” Killian couldn’t help but scoff. The Men of Letters had turned their back on him ages ago; he had vowed never to go back to them and their politics.

“Killian, we were friends once. You belonged with the British Men of Letters; you had your place there.” That took him aback. He had seen Gold be smug, hostile, and heck, even downright malicious after the whole mess with the Men of Letters back in Britain. But he had never seen the man so unpretentious; Gold sounded almost regretful. “I promise you, I had nothing to do with Liam’s death.”

Killian’s jaw clenched tight at the mention of his brother’s name. But something about Gold’s demeanor made me pause. He sighed, rubbing his forehead heavily, “I will try and talk to them. But I will not convince them to come your way. And I will not stand against the Winchesters. Whatever scuffle the Men of Letters have with them, it’s none of my business.”

Gold smiled, his first genuine smile, looking mighty pleased. “Does this mean you are back with us?” he asked, seeming to already know the answer.

Killian took a deep breath, unsure of his response. “I don’t think so, Gold. These hunters are my family now; I cannot just side with you. You might not have had something to do with Liam’s death, but I’m not quite certain about Hess. I cannot in good conscience work with people who might have been responsible for my brother’s death, and who turned their backs on me.”

Gold looked defeated, leaning back heavily in his chair. At that moment, Killian could clearly see the toll the many years had had on his old colleague. “Can’t say I blame you, lad. I’ll be in touch,” Gold said after a long moment of silence, placing his card on the table and walking out the door.

Killian was left with more questions than anything else. Why would Hess want him back? Why would they even want to expand into America? And what was Gold’s agenda? Because Killian did not believe for one moment that the man truly considered Killian his friend.

#cs ff #cssns #spn!au #angel!Emma #hunter!Killian

[wolfjawswriter]

Single Daddy Issues - Lockwood x Lucy 1

“1st Day at Kindergarten”- Lockwood x Lucy

Lockwood and Co. Series

Summary: Gotta like the teacher!

AU: SingleDaddyAU!

—————Lockwood—————

“You’ve got your lunchbox, dear?”

“Yes daddy”

“And your crayons?”

“Yes daddy”

“And you brought your blanky?”

“Yes daddy”

I drove down the highway stealing glances on my rearview mirror at the little girl that sat on my car’s backseat: my beautiful daughter, Juniper Lockwood.

Ever since I was in high school, I knew what I’d dedicate my life to; my father’s law firm. I had carefully planned my whole life so that I would get the best grades in high school, go to the best college in London, or if possible somewhere abroad, graduate with honors and start my professional career as the family’s business new boss.

My plans hadn’t fail me; I met all my expectations with ease and was soon appointed the CEO of Lockwood and Co., but, you know how people say that there’s our plans and life’s plans for us? And life always gets away with what it wants?

Well, that is exactly what happened to me: one moment my ex-girlfriend from college was at the door of my apartment, and the next moment I had my arms full with a one-year-old girl this woman claimed was mine. And according to the medical tests I took, she was mine.

This was a terrible turn of events for me. I suddenly had to provide for myself and a brat I did not wanted! That’s where my sister, Jessica, came up.

I told her what happened and she came to see me a week after the incident. She had been absolutely delighted to see how much resemblance there was between me and the girl, spent almost an hour cooing at the baby.

Jessica offered me an easy way out of the situation; she’d take the girl away and raise her as her own with her husband and her other kids. Little Juniper would never know she was mine: to her I’d only be uncle Anthony. I had been so tempted to say yes, but by then I had already spent a week tending to the little headache, and honestly, I had started to understand what parents felt like. The joy and pride they got from their children. I suddenly understood why my sister put up with her baby sons.

So, of course I rejected the offer, and promised myself and my baby girl I’d make it work, somehow, someway, even if I was a single dad. After all, money was not an issue.

Today, four years later, was her first day at kindergarten, and I was honestly more nervous than she was. The company had been growing lately and I’d been very busy overseeing all new changes, and even though Jessica was always happy to look after Juniper, I knew she’d have to go to school soon. Just, why so soon?

My deputy, Quill Kipps, suggested this little day care, Little Angel Childcare Center, where his son, Bobby, is currently attending. For what I understood, it was a small but very reputable kindergarten, with excellent reviews, numerous certifications and diplomas, and was actually close to my workplace, but that was as far as my knowledge went. Jessica had made me the favor of attending the school tour for parents and kids and taking the enrollment package, since, due to my overpacked schedule, I hadn’t been able to go. She assured me it was a fine school, but I needed to see this place for myself.

I pulled on the parking lot and took an eyeful of the place. It was a small building, walls painted with bright rainbows and clouds and smiling suns. The playground outside was spacious, with hard plastic houses, sand pits, slides and swing sets. Other cars were parked here as well, with  mothers and fathers helping their children off the car and taking them to the building, some kids crying and some others happy.

I took a deep breath and walked out of the car, opening the backseat’s door to help my daughter off her baby seater.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright?” I asked her one last time. Juniper looked at the building’s door where people entered and disappeared, then back at me with her big, brown eyes.

“Yes daddy”

“All right then, take my hand” The sight of unruly children was everywhere: running around the playground, the parking lot, the halls, crying or laughing, being pulled or chased by their annoyed parents. I made a mental reminder to praise Juniper later for being so well-behaved; cook her favorite dinner, and maybe watch a Disney movie with her before bedtime.

“Hey, Junie!” A woman greeted us as we walked down the hall. She was short, very short indeed, with brown hair, also cut short. She wore a sweater and a skirt over leggings, and a light yellow apron on top. Couldn’t be older than twenty “Welcome to your first day of class”

“Hi miss” Juniper shyly waved her tiny hand at her.

“You don’t have to greet the janitor, dear” I told my daughter. The woman raised an eyebrow and frowned, before grinning slyly at me.

“I am Juniper’s teacher” She said and pointed to the apron “This is just the uniform” Oh dear. My face heated up in embarrassment, but I decided to put it aside for appearance’s sake, so I raised my eyebrow at her.

“Who are you?”

“Name’s Lucy Carlyle. Very polite girl you’ve got here” She said as she ruffled Juniper’s freshly combed hair “You must be Anthony Lockwood, her dad. Though, you look kinda young to be a father”

And she looked much too young to be a fully licensed teacher, let me tell you!

“Yes, she is my daughter” I said putting my best business smile “Can I speak with the principal?”

“Headmistress Munro is not here right now” She said as she turned and guided us to the classroom, which’s floor was covered in colorful foam, with tiny table and chairs here and there. There were toys bins on one side of the room and bookshelves on the other, plus a TV on one of the walls “But I’m assuming there’ll be a few things you want to know before leaving Juniper in our care”

“Yes, are you a fully licensed teacher? Have you been trained in child psychology?”

“I’m majored in it” She said proudly “Mrs Jessica told us about your daughter, man, she’ll be okay here”

“What kind of snacks do you provide the kids with?”

“Biscuits, tea, milk, fruit, sometimes cake, and for those who stay in the afternoon hours, we give them a healthy meal at midday, its all supervised by the nutritionist” She listed off by memory and smiled “And, because I know you’ll ask, we do provide gluten-free options. But I see she brought her own lunch box”

“Daddy, can I play with the toys?” I heard Juniper ask quietly beside me.

“In a moment, darling” I pointed to the toy bins and eyed it suspiciously “How often are those cleaned?”

“We clean all the toys before morning starts, after class hours, during nap time and whenever any of them gets too dirty” Lucy took a doll from the bin my daughter her been eyeing and gave it to me so I could inspect it. I guess it was decent “She is your first child, isn’t she? That’s why you’re so, neurotic?” The teacher asked me with a smile.

I tried my best to look offended off my cavalries, but ended up sighing and racking a hand through my hair. My worries passed from leaving my daughter in this place to leaving my daughter with this careless woman. Why had Kipps suggested this place?

“I just want my daughter to be safe” I muttered. She rolled her eyes and shook her head, then patted my shoulder in empathetic manner.

“It alright, that’s what every parent wants, but you’re making this place look like some kind of horror movie orphanage, and I think you’re scaring her” I looked down to my little Juniper. She was wearing her Sleeping Beauty dress, her favorite Disney princess, with little dress shoes and pink socks. Her hand was still in mine, gripping it tightly in her own seek for comfort.

“Well, I’ll leave you to say your goodbyes, class will start in a few minutes” Lucy turned around and walked out of the room, calling for the kids to get inside.

I kneeled down on the foamed ground and cupped my daughter’s cheeks, her tiny hands coming to my hands.

“Daddy loves you, ok?” I said as reassuring as I could manage. June nodded her head firmly “If anything happens, if you’re not comfortable or if someone’s not being nice with you, just tell someone to call me and I’ll be here to pick you right away, alright?” Again she nodded her little head “Be nice”

“I will, daddy” I hugged her tightly and covered her forehead in kisses, making her giggle adorably. To pull away from the hug was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it eventually had to end. I stood my full height and turned to the teacher once again.

“I’ll leave you my number so you can call me if my daughter needs anything” I said, still in a business manner, but she still looked as cool as if she was at the beach. Goddamit, what do I have to do to make this woman to understand that my daughter was no joke?! “Give me your number as well”

“All right” Lucy took a piece of paper and wrote her number there, accepting the work card I gave her in which I wrote my number “Try calling at 10:00 or 12:00, that’s when we have playtime and lunch, and if you want to call during afternoon, I’d say you do between 3:00 and 4:00, we do arts and crafts then and play outside. I can’t assure you I’ll always be able to pick up, but if I don’t, just call the school”

“Well, if Juniper needs anything and I can’t pick up, just call Lockwood and Co.; my secretary will get me”

“Oh, you’re a lawyer?” Now, this information usually worked when you wanted to make someone respect you or fear you, and that was what I wanted; for her to understand that I was not all smiles and jokes when it came to my daughter. However, she didn’t seem the slightly bit affected by that knowledge, and only smiled again “That’s great! Well, I’d love to keep chatting, but class is in session, so I have to ask you to leave”

With one last glance at my baby girl playing sitting with her blanky on her lap, I walked out of the classroom. Once I was back in my car, I sighed worriedly and allowed myself to cry a little. Only a little.

#lockwood and co #Anthony lockwood #lucy carlyle #george cubbins #holly munro #quill kipps #flo bones #kate godwin #bobby vernon #Lucy x lockwood #lockwood x lucy #locklyle #lucewood

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Broken Halos 1

Pairings: Sam Winchester x OFC

A/n: Smut. Big shout out to @sumara62 for all of your support and guidance! 

Summary: After Sam lost his soul, he also lost Rachel. Once he is back to himself Sam is going to realize what all he had really lost an also gained. Fixing everything however is going to be no easy road...

Words: 5, 525

Song in the beginning: Because of you by Kelly Clarkson

Story title inspired by: Broken Halos by Chris Stapleton 

________

Because of you, I never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you, I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt Because of you, I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me Because of you, I am afraid

“I can do this. I don't need anyone! I am a strong independent woman!”

Rachel stood in front of the bathroom mirror repeating over and over again. Maybe if she said it several times she would believe it? She was dreading going back into the diner where she worked facing all her customers.

She knew that she could call Dean or Cas and one of the two would be coming to get her. Rachel didn't have to be alone. This was her choosing, After Sam lost his soul things had gone down hill. Her once good hearted lover was now sarcastic and cold. She tried to put up with him pray that he would return to himself. However, he didn't Sam seemed to get worse this resulted in Rachel bolting.

Now her life was her shitty dinner job where she waited tables for up to 10 hours a day. Rachel knew that she could go home to her father. Bobby would be more than willing to let her move back home but he wouldn't probably hate Sam after this. Rachel didn't want to let that happen!

Walking back into the main part of the dining room Rachel decided to continue with her  day. She straightened her apron before going to her next customer and almost yelling. Before her sat none other than Castiel. He looked up at her with the same blue eyes that she remembered so well.

“Hello Rachel.”

“Hello Castiel.”

Rachel looked at him with wide petrified eyes. Cas knew that she was worried about Sam being somewhere in the restaurant.

“Sam isn’t here.”

Rachel nodded looking slightly relived as Cas motioned to the seat in front of him.

“Have a seat.”

Rachel looked over her shoulder at a older gentleman in the kitchen vigorously beating a steak with a meat beater. She winced feeling immediately sorry for the customer that was getting “Chef Louis'” special.”

“My boss will have a cow.”

Cas smirked.

“He won't even know. “

Rachel smirked.

“Forgot about your angel skills.”

She said before sitting across from the angel.

“I suppose you are going to tell Sam where I am at now.”

Rachel said softly.

“I didn't plan on it immediately. We are all worried about you Rachel.”

Rachel frowned. She didn't want to be rude to Cas. He didn't deserve to receive an attitude over something that Sam had done. Rachel frowned at the thought what Sam had done. If Sam was in the right mind and had his soul he would have never done some of the things he had done.

“Dean knew I left.”

Cas sighed. It was clear this was not going to be an easy task.

“We didn't expect you to just go silent on us. Rachel, Sam has his soul again and is asking for you.”

Rachel's mouth dropped. She was clearly not expecting what the angel had just said.

“Cas, I don't think that I can see him. No one knows what all happened between Sam and I. I'm sorry but you and Dean don't understand what it was like for me when Sam came home smelling like another woman. There was the other stuff too. You won't understand.”

Cas looked at her sympathetically.

“I assure you that while I don't understand the complexity of your and Sam's relationship I can understand how badly Sam misses you. Dean and I miss you too.”

Rachel looked down sadly before looking back up to the angel.

“Awe you bit softie I miss you too.”

Cas couldn't help noticing how thin Rachel was looking. She looked ill and almost like she hadn't eaten in days.  

“Have you seen your father or told Bobby where you have been? He is extremely worried just like we are.”

Rachel shook her head.

“I haven't. He would have just tried to get me to be patient with Sam. I have other reasons too.”

Cas nodded taking in everything she said and was quiet for some time.

“What will it take to get you to come back?”

“Look Cas, I just need some time. You know where I work now. Drop by in a few days. Deal?”

Cas nodded holding out his hand. Rachel looked at his outstretched hand before realizing that he was waiting for a hand shake. She chuckled before reaching out and shaking Cas' hand.

“See you soon. I have to get back to work.”

Cas nodded as Rachel stood and walked to a table of diners that had just sat down. Giving her a small frown, Cas stood. He didn't have a few days to work with. Sam was an emotional wreck and a few days wasn't going to cut it. Cas had his mind made up. He would just follow up Rachel home and try to talk some sense into her. Maybe just maybe that would work.

When Rachel finally walked out of the diner, purse in hand, Cas quickly began to follow up. He didn't get close enough for her to suspect that she was being followed. After walking about 6 blocks, Rachel turned and walked toward a large brick apartment building.

Cas stopped for a few moments to watch as she approached a woman who was holding a baby. When Rachel took the baby into her arms Cas knew exactly who that baby belonged to!

“Well that was unexpected.”

Cas muttered to himself as he looked at the mini version of Sam in Rachel's arms. The baby met Cas' gaze and waived. Rachel said something to the baby as she turned to see what her son was focusing on. Her mouth dropped seeing Cas a few feet away. Instead of the pleasant expression that she had easier now Rachel looked livid.

“Castiel, did you follow up?”

Cas walked over sealing the gap between them.

“You had a baby? Is this why you won't go to Sam?”

Rachel looked down a moment before her baby sitter stood and muttered a small fair well. She was relieved that the woman left. There would be no way in hell that poor lady would understand what in the world was really going on in Rachel's life!

“Fine! Yes, Cas! This is the reason  why I didn't just jump to run back to Sam with you! Do you UNDERSTAND now?!”

Cas blinked but continued to make his normal stoic expression.

“We should go inside if we are going to continue this conversation.”

Cas finally started calmly. Rachel nodded before motioning to the door

“Come with me.”

Rachel led Cas into a one bedroom apartment with mismatched furniture and covered in baby toys. She looked back at Cas for a moment before sitting the baby down in a pack'n'play. Rachel walked back into the kitchen turning on the Keurig machine.

“I would offer you coffee but I know your answer. I suppose you want some answers.”

Cas nodded.

“That would be nice.”

Rachel didn't seem as nervous or angry as Cas was expecting her to be.

“His name is Jordan. He's 9 months old. I found out that I was pregnant after I left Cas. Believe me when I say that I seriously thought about coming back. I didn't because I knew that Sam wouldn't care at that point. He just saw me as some kind of belonging of his. I wasn't a lover or girlfriend, I was just his property that he could fool around on all that he wanted. Why would he have cared about Jordan? He wouldn't have wanted to be a father anyway.”

Cas was quiet a moment. He didn't like seeing Rachel being this sad. In ways, Cas wished that Rachel would be hateful and yelling. Her sad demeanor was almost unsettling.

“He will now. Rachel, you are barley making it now. Please come back. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for your son. Jordan deserves to know his father, who is the right mind now. Do it for Sam. I know that you love him still. I can feel it in you. Please.”

Rachel looked way from Cas. Her attention focused on Jordan. The baby sat in his play pen chewing on one of his toys. He looked up at her after a few minutes giving her a little grin. It was the same grin that Sam would give her, that precious little grin that could melt her heart into a giant puddle of mush.  

There were some days she wasn't for sure who Jordan reminded her of. He looked just like  Sam and behaved like him in most ways but there were times that he reminded her of Dean as well. Rachel often laughed at the fact that she carried the baby for nine months only for him to come out looking like his father and behaving like his uncle.

“Rachel?”

Rachel focused her attention back on the angel that was beginning to look a little impatient with her.

“Fine, I will go back with you Cas.

The next afternoon....

Dean sat flipping through the channels with a beer in one hand. It had been a slow week! After deciding to take a week off the time home was getting to him! He looked down at his phone waiting to get something from Cas. The last thing the angel said was he was going out for a bit and that was it. He didn't give Dean anymore details and disappeared with BAMF before Dean could ask questions.

“Have you heard anything from Cas?”

Dean looked up to see Sam poke his head in from the other room.

“Nah, I think he forgot how to work a cell phone again. Time to play geek squad with him Sammy.”

Sam frowned, giving Dean his best bitch face.

“No, its your turn.”

Dean smirked as Sam went back into the other room without another word. He had just got back into some stupid show with anime porn when the door opened. Dean was relied to see Cas walk in.

“Cas! Man you have to stop disappearing without explaining where you are going! We were worried sick.”

Cas blinked a few times before looking over his shoulder.

“I left with good reason. Rachel, if you please.”

Dean all but jumped up when he heard the word Rachel. When his childhood stepped into the room Dean felt his heart began to race the moment that his eyes locked onto the baby in her arms. Dean's was speechless! All that was registering in his mind was the fact that Sam was about to save a lot of money on DNA testing.

“Hello Dean.”

It wasn't until Cas coughed did it register with Dean to say something.

“Rachel....uh....what's this?”

Rachel pressed her lips together as she tried to get Jordan to quit squirming. The expression on Dean's face was almost heart shattering. She had expected him to get upset and she was right on the money with his reaction.

“Its what it looks like.”

She replied. Dean rubbed a hand over his face. He focused his attention on his nephew not needing anymore clues on who the kids father was.

“He's Sam's?”

Dean questioned, feeling almost stupid doing so. He needed the verbal confirmation. Rachel nodded.

“He is.”

The sound of Sam's voice coming from the other room made Rachel's heart pound. She heard his footsteps getting closer and she knew that it was time to face the moment that she had nightmares about from the time that Jordan was born.

“Dean, we really need to get a hold of Cas.”

When Sam walked into the room he wasn't looking up but instead looking at a book that was in his hand.

“Hello Sam.”

Cas said casually. Sam's head snapped up and he immediately dropped the book when he saw Rachel. His mouth dropped as he took in her appearance.

“Rachel!”

He gasped. Was this some dream come true or just another nightmare in the making? His eyes widened ever more when he saw the baby in her arms. Rachel glanced at Dean, who was clearly trying to contain his anger before looking back to Sam.

“He's yours Sam.”

Sam was clearly devastated as he realized just how much he had missed! He didn't even know that Rachel was pregnant! Mentally counting back in his mind her pregnancy had to occur before he lost his soul.  

Sam had never felt more mentally anguished than he did in this particular moment! After being in love with Rachel for so long, keeping that love closeted, finally getting her to love him back, having a wonderful relationship everything had literally gone to hell! Never in his life would Sam have even considered making her a mother if he wasn't ready to be a father! They had never even discussed children now here was a little boy that didn't know shit about him. There was also the realization that she went through the pregnancy and birth alone....something else Sam never would have let her do. If he had his soul and knew that she was pregnant; there was no way she would have been alone!

Sam had looked to Dean judging by his brother's tense demeanor he didn't know anything either. He couldn't help but wonder what if Dean had actually sent her away to  keep her safe? What if Dean knew that she was pregnant? He would never do that.

Everyone stood in dead silence until Dean began to speak,

“All right we all need to sit down at talk! Like now! No one is going anywhere!”

Dean flipped the TV off and began to pace a moment. He stopped after tugging on his hair for a few minutes.

“Okay, I'm playing mediator here. Rachel, please we need some explanation other then how the kid was made. Why did you leave?”

Rachel was quiet a moment.

“You both know why I left.”

Cas walked to Rachel holding out his hands,

“I am going to take the little one out. He doesn't need to hear all of this.”

Rachel slowly placed Jordan in Castiel's outstretched arms. The baby looked at Cas like Sam would when he was trying to figure something out. Dean pressed his lips together fighting the urge to smile. He waited until Cas had disappeared from the room before speaking.

“I know why you left. You told me that you would keep in touch. I have obviously missed a memo somewhere. I thought we were all close! We've all known each other since we were kids now this. Does Bobby know about him?”

Rachel shook her head and Dean began to laugh.

“You all are so in for it! I'm going to stop being an ass for a minute and go a different direction. Rachel, I'm sorry about everything that happened! I am sure this wasn't easy for you and you know we care about you. Sam has been worried sick! Trust me when I say he's back to normal aren't you Sammy?”

Sam meanwhile, was still clearly lost in his head. Dean sighed. He knew that his brother was internally blaming himself for any wrong that Rachel had experienced in her life.

“Well if he was responding that would be a yes. Sammy?”

Sam finally looked up.

“I have to get some air.”

He turned quickly walking out the door without another word. Rachel and Dean looked after him. Dean turned away from the door first. The expression that was on Rachel's face let Dean know right away how awful that she was feeling.

“Come on, lets go get you a drink.”

Rachel slightly jumped when Dean touched her arm. Dean quickly put both of his hands on her shoulders.

“Hey! Its me! I won't hurt you! You know that!”

Rachel looked at him a moment before her eyes filled with tears. Dean didn't hesitate a moment before pulling her into his arms. He had done this on many occasions when Sam was soulless.  

“I'm a horrible person Dean!”

Dean sighed,

“No you aren't! Rachel level with me here. Why did you leave when you found out that you were pregnant?”

Rachel wiped her eyes on the back of her hand.

“I left because...Dean, Sam wouldn't have cared! He would have just been out sleeping with any tramp that he could get his hands on. He wouldn't care about me or Jordan. I didn't want you to have to be in the predicament of feeling responsible for me because it was your brother that knocked me up. You would have been stepping up and doing what Sam should have been doing on top of hunting. That would have been too much for you. I didn't tell Dad because he would have been angrier at Sam. If he knew that I was pregnant and Sam wasn't being responsible....Dean you know my dad! I had to protect Sam the only way that I could!”

Dean was quiet for a moment as he took in everything Rachel said. He stood silently a moment before taking her hands in his.

“I know exactly how Bobby is! Rachel, you are right. I would have tried to take care of you and I wished that you would have let me. Do I think you are a bad person? No! In a fucked up way it makes me love you more that you wanted to protect Sam. Like I told you before I didn't blame you for leaving but now I really wish that you would have stayed. Look, we'll figure this out! We always do! We're never going to leave you all alone again. I'm going to show you this is where you belong.”

Rachel nodded, feeling a little better. Here was Dean Winchester going into big brother mode just like he always did with her and Sam. She had been worried that Dean would never forgive her when it came to leave Sam while expecting his child. Now it was evident that she had nothing to worry about.

“Jordan huh? Cute. The kid looks like a witch or someone shrank Sam into a baby.”

Rachel smiled.

“He looks just like Sam. Dean, he acts like the two of you. Its so funny. I named him Jordan Samuel Winchester. I wanted to give him something of Sam in case he never was part of his life.”

Dean smiled.

“I don't think that you will have to worry about that.”

Rachel looked down at her feet as Cas appeared on the other side of the room with Jordan in his arms. The baby was clutching a stuff goat as he looked at his mother with a big grin. Cas looked sheepishly at his friends.

“We went to the petting zoo. I figured that the stuffed goat was a more feasible option then bringing the real goat that he made friends with. Don't worry I washed his hand thoroughly too.”

Dean's eyes winded.

“Damn right, that is a better option. We don't need any goats crawling around here.”

The following few hours passed without much detail. Cas had made a crib for Jordan. Rachel got the baby fed and to sleep without minimal issues. Dean watched with a smirk on his face.

“Guess its time for me to get a Worlds Greatest Uncle cup.”

“Time will tell on that one.”

Both Rachel and Dean turned to see Sam at the door. He didn't look at emotionally distraught as he did earlier but still looked clearly upset. Dean looked between his brother and Rachel carefully.

When Sam and Rachel became an official couple and was no just sleeping together to feel something Dean wanted to give them both a thank you card! He had watched two go from being inseparable as children to going through their awkward teen years as friends. When Sam went off to college and got serious with Jess, it devastated Rachel. She was too good of a woman to say it though.  

“As long as he's happy.”

She had said to Dean on numerous occasions. Rachel started hunting hardcore at this point. She had done numerous cases with John and Dean no to mention countless with her father. Any time Sam was mentioned, she would instantly change the subject

Now here Sam and Rachel stood in a completely awkward silence that left Dean feeling miserable too. Dean couldn't help feeling like this whole situation should have happened differently! If Sam hadn't lost his soul then he could have been with Rachel throughout her pregnancy. He could have been that good dad that Dean always suspected that he would be. Sam wouldn't be a John Winchester!

“We'll I think Cas and I are gonna go have a beer.”

Dean said casually. Cas looked up with a confused frown.

“In your room? Why?”

Dean rolled his eyes,

“Because Cas! We are trying new things.”

Cas looked between Sam and Rachel before finally catching Dean's drift and following him into the bedroom.

Sam finally looked up when he heard the door close.

“Kind of stating the obvious but we need to talk Rachel.”

Rachel nodded.

“Yes, we really do.”

Rachel didn't make any move to get closer to Sam for a few minutes. Sam watched her carefully.

“Rachel, I'm not going to hurt you if you get closer. I don't know what to say to you. There aren't enough I'm sorrys in the world for all the things that I have done to you! I don't even know what to say to you honestly.”

Sam watched her face for any signs of rejection or disgust. Deep down he feared that she would see him as a freak now. Would she see him as some abomination that should have never been born? Now here she was with his baby. Sam couldn't help but be afraid that the baby was going to be just as fucked up as he was.

“Sam, I know you are mad. I can see it on your face. You can yell if you want. Scream if you have to.”

Sam's eyes rolled up to hers. His face looked totally stunned by her words.

“Why would I yell at you? I should be apologizing to you for the rest of my life. Rachel, you know that I would have never done any of the horrible things if I was normal. I would never hurt you intentionally. Rachel, I'm prepared to do whatever I have to...to prove to you that I love you and our son. If you want me to quit hunting so we can give him a normal life I will.”

Rachel stepped closer to Sam. She ran her fingers tentatively over his forearms and was relive when Sam sighed.

“Sam, I am not asking you to give up your life for us. If I needed anymore clues to know that my Sam is back that was all I needed.”

Sam closed his eyes, looking almost like he was breathing for the first time.  

“I've dreamed of hearing those words come out of your mouth for so long now. I heard you tell Dean that you gave Jordan my name.”

Sam watched her face for any dissatisfaction with the fact that he had been eavesdropping on her conversation with Dean. Instead she smiled. Sam's heart began to beat fast just seeing her smile.

“He needed something of you. Did you hear Dean's comment about his world greatest uncle cup?”

Sam chuckled as he reached out and lifted Rachel onto the counter.

“I may go have one made that says world okayest uncle. You know just to mess with him.”

Sam quickly sealed the space in between them.

“You're going to make him cry.”

Rachel said in a soft whisper as Sam's body came closer to hers. She knew that she should have stopped him but she couldn't. Something about just having Sam that close to her was almost euphoric.  

“You look so beautiful. If I hadn't seen out son, I would have never thought that you were pregnant.”

Sam leaned his head down resting his forehead against Rachel's. It took all Rachel had not to whimper against him. Sam was still the same but so different in many other ways. He stood looking like a man now not a boy any longer.

“Are you coming onto me Sam Winchester?”

Rachel whispered. Breathing in his scent, Rachel was ignoring the voice in her head screaming at her to stop. This wasn't smart! They didn't need to be doing  this far this fast. However, here they were almost to kiss on the counter. Sam stood in between her legs as close to her body as he could get.

“Mhm.”

The moment Sam's lips met hers Rachel melted against him. She didn't fight back instead she eagerly kissed him back. All of her voices of reason had been turned off or had gone silent all together.

Sam tightened his hold on her hips. His hand squeezing at her sides before reaching up and running along the waist band of her leggings.

“We should stop.”

Sam finally said against her lips. Rachel moaned, stroking Sam's chest and stomach through his shirt. Both knew this was a bad idea but at the moment neither cared. So what if they had been through some of the roughest shit imaginable in a relationship and Sam just found out that he was a father? Right now being close was the best thing imaginable! All Sam wanted was to be close to her and he was about to all right. Sam wanted his woman however he could have her! Standing up, sitting down, in the bed, or on the fucking Costner top...it didn't matter to him one bit!

“Yeah, we should.”

Rachel replied. She didn't let her lips move vary far from Sam's as he increased his leverage pulling her tighter against him. Their make out sessions often ended with Rachel sitting on some higher surface. With her only coming to Sam's chest; stand up makeout sessions only went so far.

“I don't want to though.”

Sam mumbled pressing his lips to hers again. Rachel reached up tugging at the buttons on his shirt.

“Jordan won't be awake until around 5. We have time.”

Sam's eyes rolled in the direction of one of the guest rooms.

“Hope he sleeps hard.”

Sam didn't give Rachel time to object before lifting her into his arms and caring her into his bedroom slamming the door.

Meanwhile, Dean and Cas in the bedroom across from each other.

“Do you suppose we can leave this room soon? What do you think they are doing?”

Dean looked up from the beer that he had been drinking.

“Right about now Cas they are about to rip each others clothes off.”

Cas frowned.

“Isn't it a bad idea for them to be making love this quickly?”

Dean shrugged.

“Eh who knows? It probably is because I guarantee you Rachel has more surprises to pull out of her bag. I don't' mean that in a bad way either. Rachel and Sam's best solutions to any of their problems is getting naked and screwing each other senseless.”

Cas leaned back against the wall.

“Wouldn't it be suitable for them to work out their problems then do their activities.”

Dean laughed hard.

“Cas there is a lot of things that would have been more suitable then the way that they are turning out but it is what it is! Right now my only hope is Rachel being on some form of birth control.”

Cas looked thoughtful.

“Would it be rude to go give Sam a condom?”

Dean raised an eyebrow.

“I would give you ten dollars if you did but I am going to tell you to stay in here. I'm making a note to clean the counter top in the morning before I start cooking breakfast.”

Meanwhile,

Rachel found herself naked in Sam's neatly made bed while he hovered over her dressed in only his blue jeans. Sam's mouth kissed heated patterns down her neck and over her breasts.  

“Sam, please.”

She whimpered as one of his large hands stroked up her thigh before making contact with her wet folds.

“That's it baby. Say my name baby just like that.”

Sam moaned against her stomach. He continued his slow assault of caresses before pushing two fingers inside. Rachel's eyes snapped open as she cried out. Sam only gave her a moment to adjust before increasing his pace on her body.  

Rachel tried to keep her eyes open to see how Sam looked at her. She was hoping that he wouldn't notice the scar on her stomach and it for some reason turn him off. That thought was tossed out the window the moment Sam pressed his face between her legs. His tongue mimicked the previous motions of his fingers.  

Sam didn't remain between her legs too long before quickly standing up and undoing his jeans. Kicking them to the floor, his gaze focused back on his lover,

“Are you on some kind of birth control?”

Rachel nodded.

“Oh yeah, no more 9 pound babies for us anytime soon.”

Sam winced before taking his place between her legs again.

“Yeah, not a good plan.”

He quickly leaned down for another kiss as he aligned himself to her entrance. Rachel focused her attention back on Sam's kiss and tangled her fingers in his hair. She knew this was about to hurt some. Sam was no little guy and her body had been severally neglected for quite some time.

The moment Sam pushed in, he froze the moment her fingers tightened in her hair. It didn't take long to have Rachel withering beneath him crying his name.

“We have a lot of this making up to do.”

Rachel moaned as Sam flipped over on his back and thrusting up into Rachel. Her hands grasped at the headboard.

“Baby you have no idea what hell I have been through the past few months.”

Looking down at him it took all Rachel had not to come. Sam's already well built body looked even bigger in the moonlight.

“I'm sure it was the same hell that I have been under. Toys just aren't the same.”

Rachel groaned, digging her hips harder into his. Sam's eyes snapped open.

“Fuck! The thought of you using toys...damn it!”

His thrusts became quicker and Rachel knew there was no way he would last much longer. Reaching behind her, Rachel let her hands massage over his balls. That's all it took to send Sam into a downward spiral. Sam's arms wrapped around her, pulling her down against his body as he filled her. It only took a few more thrusts for Rachel's walls to be swelling around him.

Rachel waited until Sam pulled out of her to push her brown hair out of her face. Sam kicked off the sheets and adjusted himself around Rachel. He wrapped an arm around her pulling her close.

“Are you going to be here when I get up?”

Rachel nodded.

“I'm not going anywhere except to feed your son who eats like his uncle.”

Sam laughed.

“Oh boy that isn't a good thing. Rach, us making love like this, it wasn't to get myself off. I want us to work out. I want it for us and for Jordan.”

Rachel reached up cupping his cheek.

“I want it too Sammy.”

Sam pressed a kiss to her forehead before laying back against the pillow. He kept his eyes open until he knew Rachel was sleeping. Sam lay awake for a while longer mentally hoping that in the morning Rachel wouldn't end things forever or realize that she made a mistake sleeping with him again.  

What he didn't know what Rachel lay thinking the same thing. She knew she wouldn't regret sleeping with Sam this quickly. Rachel knew that she was still in love with him but what if Sam regretted once he found out everything that happened while they were apart? What if when he found out everything that he had done without a soul tore them apart further.

It was going to be a busy night for Chuck, wherever, he was with all the prayer that he was getting from Sam Winchester and Rachel Singer.

_______

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#Sam Winchester #Sam Winchester x OFC #Dean Winchester #Cas #Bobby Singer #supernatural fanfiction