#I made about 3 other sets so far so let's make it a small series

[vinnellamadz]

Everyone asked for both so I’m gonna do both :3, PLEASE I am not a talented writer or anything please excuse me if it’s not as good

Lucifer X reader Headcanons

- Before Lucifer met you, he was definitely an emotional wreck.

He spent all his time in his workshop, creating things as a coping mechanism.

But as soon as he locked eyes with you, it was like a light bulb in him switched on, and he was instantly hooked on you.

- Lucifer tried his best to woo and court you.

As if his last moments on earth depended on it, he would smother you in gifts, specifically custom-made ducks that he always made sure were made with love and perfection.

His desire for you was so intense that he devoted all his efforts to winning your heart and making you his.

It was as if all his sorrows and woes melted away the moment he saw you.

- There were times that Lucifer almost gave up.

As he feared that you didn't return his feelings, thoughts of failure and despair filled his mind.

However, when you finally accepted his advances, he was overwhelmed with joy.

So much so, that he jumped into your arms and held you tightly.

It was a moment of pure blissful happiness, and he knew that he never wanted to let go.

- Lucifer was so focused on wooing you that he forgot to tell his daughter about you.

He was so concerned about making things perfect that he did everything in his power to ensure that your meeting was as perfect as possible.

He was so worried that you might not like each other that he tried to prepare for every possible scenario.

Spoiler alert, you and Charlie loved each other

- While visiting Charlie’s Hotel, a certain red-haired male was stepping a little too close to you for Lucifer’s comfort.

Lucifer saw the male coming closer and closer and grew increasingly concerned.

He did not like the idea of someone else being close to you, especially Alastor

Lucifer felt jealous and protective, and he wanted to make sure that the male kept his distance.

Safe to say you spent the rest of the visit with lucifers arm around your waist.

- Lucifer loves to take you out on romantic dates.

He always finds the perfect places to take you, with the most delightful settings.

He takes you to intimate restaurants, candlelit dinners, and romantic walks on the best beach in hell.

He makes sure to plan everything to the smallest detail, so that you always feel special and pampered.

Lucifer wants to show you how much he cares and appreciates you, and he does it through romantic dates that are always perfect.

- While Lucifer does have his shortcomings, he will go as far as needed to prove to you just how much you are loved every day.

He is committed to making your life a series of surprises and magical moments, and he will always go the extra mile to ensure that you feel loved and cherished.

In the end, Lucifer may have his faults, but he will never let them interfere with making sure you feel special and appreciated every single day.

Adam X reader Headcanons

- Adam does not typically get into relationships, but when he does, he tends to exhibit similar behavior patterns. He engages in playful teasing and name-calling as a way to show affection toward his partner.

Although these antics can seem somewhat derogatory, Adam ensures that his partner never actually feels bad as a result. While he might playfully poke fun at his partner at times, he is also capable of being loving and supportive (barely).

- Adam is not a typical romantic, and he is not used to expressing these types of feelings. Even so, he tries his best to court you in his own way.

There are times when he may act a little awkward or mean, but beneath it all, he truly cares for you.

While he might stumble over his words or lack the grand gestures, Adam shows his feelings through small gifts and nicknames.

- Although you might not be showing any signs of affection, Adam would never give up on courting you. He is persistent and determined to win your heart.

Even if you were to continuously reject him, he would continue to pursue you. Adam feels deeply for you, and he is willing to go to great lengths to make you his own.

So, if you truly want him, Adam would never stop trying to win you over with his endearing charms.

- Once you finally surrendered to his charms, Adams ego grew even bigger.

As part of his big ego, he became extremely affectionate and public in his displays of affection. He wants everyone to see you as a couple, and he doesn't mind who's watching.

Adam wants everyone to know that you're his, and he is going to make sure everyone knows it.

- Adam is an incredibly possessive and insecure man (I wonder why 👀), and he dislikes seeing other men around you.

When a male approaches you, Adam quickly swoops in, giving the other man a dirty look and then proceeding to make out with you in front of him. With his dominant display of affection, he makes sure that the other man knows his place.

Then, he takes you by the hand and leads you away, anticipating the night that awaits you both.

- Adam is a romantic man, and he enjoys date nights with you. He loves to spend time sitting on his balcony with you, eating takeout, and engaging in fun gossip.

However, he also appreciates having nice dinners together, and he enjoys taking you to the hottest concerts in town.

He also likes to express his affection for you through singing, he cherishes your presence more than anything else.

- Even with his flaws and occasional mistakes, Adam is a decent lover overall.

He may be imperfect and stumble at times, but his genuine desire to make you happy is what matters most. Although he may make occasional jabs and tease you, it all boils down to his genuine care for you.

At the end of the day, your happiness is what Adam truly cares about more than anything else. Even through all the ups and downs of a relationship, he will always do what it takes to make you happy.

- Adams favourite movie is frozen.

IM SORRY IF THIS IS OOC ITS MY FIRST TIME WRITING IN SO LONG

#hazbin hotel #hazbin adam #hazbin lucifer #helluva boss #hazbin #lucifer x reader #adam x reader #Lucifer x reader hazbin hotel #Adam x reader hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel Adam #hazbin hotel lucifer #alastor #charlie morningstar #lucifer x reader hazbin #Adam x reader hazbin #hazbin Adam x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin Lucifer x reader #x reader

[mooshywrites]

Echoes of Love and Loss ~ Pt 4

Fem!Reader x Halsin

Masterlist

Art Commissions

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A/N - This is the second to last part! Because of that, I’m taking suggestions for another series since I really enjoy this format. Shoot me a DM or send in a request if you have a good prompt <3

Word count - 4.1K

Warnings - Lots of angst, grieving, pregnancy, miscommunication, happy ending incoming I promise

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Part 2 ~ NSFW

Part 3

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“I have to find her”

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Your days began to blur together in a haze of numbness. You’d long since shed all of the tears and felt all of the grief you could muster. All that was left was your survival instinct pushing you forward.

It took a considerably shorter amount of time to return to the Druids grove where you began your adventure, the road from Baldur’s Gate being far more safe now that The Absolute was gone.

Every settlement you passed through was filled with people celebrating. Their cheers and drunken ramblings washed over you without another thought, completely oblivious of what you had lost bringing them this new victory.

When you finally made it to the outskirts of the grove, something stopped you. You were so close. Close enough to even hear the faint chatter of the Druids that lived there.

But there seemed to be some sort of invisible wall between you and them. A heavy stone keeping you grounded from taking the few steps forward.

What would you say when the other Druids inevitably asked about Halsin? Would you be able to handle their unease and pity when it came to your condition? Would they see as you as anything more than the so-called hero who let their friend die?

You gritted your teeth, clutching at your chest as your heart began to pound. The world felt as if it was spinning as the turmoil hit you once again. You swallowed back bile, knowing you had only made your health worse by pushing yourself to get here more quickly.

With a few solidifying breaths, you sighed and turned away. You couldn’t stay here.

There was a small hut in the woods north of the grove. That would have to do for now.

The walk there was short, you might’ve even enjoyed the weather if the situation you found yourself in didn’t continue to bear down on you painfully. When the hut came into view, you grimaced.

It was… definitely a fixer-upper.

It was probably for the best, you’d have something to focus on. You could work through the day to make it a suitable home for you and the baby instead of wallowing in your grief.

You had to be strong for the little one after all.

You began work right away, throwing your bag on a rotted wooden table and surveying the inside of the shack. At least the walls seemed strong, the wood stood up to the elements. You could see a few patches that would need to be filled with straw for colder weather, but the wood burning stove in the corner gave you a little bit of hope.

Cobwebs littered the corners, a faint layer of dust settling over the entirety of the one room hut. You peered closer to find a straw broom tucked away, practically calling your name.

You set about cleaning the cabin, determined to make it a safe haven for you and your baby. The dust and cobwebs were easy enough to deal with, and you spent hours scraping the grime off the walls and furniture until you could hardly recognize the shack from when you first entered.

As night fell, you lit the wood burning stove, filling the small space with warmth and the scent of fire. You examined the table and decided it was too far gone, so you set to work constructing a new one from scraps of wood and nails, using the old table as a pattern. You worked tirelessly through the night, the pain in your legs and shoulders a constant reminder of the sacrifices you'd made to get this far.

The end product was definitely not a masterpiece, but you couldn’t help but feel a twinge of pride in your lopsided creation.

The days turned into weeks, and slowly but surely, the hut began to take shape. You built shelves, repaired the roof, and even managed to create a small loft for you and the little one on the way.

By now, your bump was definitely more noticeable. A healthy swell of your stomach growing now that you were forcing yourself into a healthy diet of at least three meals a day.

With your hut becoming more of a home, you found yourself slipping into a routine. You would wake up early to tend to the garden you'd started behind the place, growing vegetables and herbs that would provide sustenance and comfort.

Afternoons were spent working on the cabin, always striving for perfection despite the humble beginnings. You discovered a sense of peace in the solitary task, even if you mostly didn’t know what you were doing.

As night fell, it was harder to ignore the ache of loneliness and loss that settled in your chest. You would try to ease the pain by humming a song to your growing bump or reciting all the children stories you knew out loud.

To your delight, sometimes you would even feel a flutter of recognition when you sang, a tiny stirring in your womb. It was barely perceptible, very much not a kick yet, but it was still a comforting reminder that you weren’t totally alone.

As the weeks turned into months, the hut became a testament to your strength and resilience. The once-dilapidated structure had blossomed into a cozy home, with warm lighting in the evenings and shelves laden with the vegetables and herbs you'd grown in your garden. A sense of contentment washed over you as you looked around your little sanctuary, realizing that no matter the heartache and loss, you had managed to build a life for yourself despite the circumstances you faced.

The days seemed to stretch into an endless cycle of gardening and remedying, and soon enough, you could feel the baby moving more frequently within you. The sensation was both reassuring and overwhelming, filling you with a mix of love and fear for the little person growing inside of you.

One morning, as you were picking vegetables from your garden, you caught a faint glimpse of movement at the edge of the woods. Your instincts kicked in, and you darted back to the door, retrieving the sword you kept hidden. It was probably long since dulled from not being used, but it was better than having nothing.

No one came close to this part of the woods, even with its close proximity to the Grove. It seemed you had found your own little patch of solitude and you were weary of having your first visitor since you moved in months ago.

You focused in on the movements at the tree line, your shoulders tight. A figure shambled out of the greenery and you choked out a breathless laugh of relief.

“I thought I might find you nearby.” Shadowheart giggled, calling out across the short clearing.

“What on earth are you doing here?” You smiled, relaxing your posture. “You gave me a scare.”

She gave you a bright smile as she approached, taking stock of your now very obvious baby bump.

“I couldn’t help but trying to check on you. The others and I got an invitation from Withers for a reunion.” Shadowheart said with a shrug.

“The others?” You prodded uneasily. You looked toward’s the tree line again, worried they would come crashing through as well.

“Relax.” Shadowheart assured, her smile a little sad. “I told them what you wanted me to. They don’t know a thing about your ‘miraculous survival’.”

“Oh, good.” You sighed, brushing yourself off. “Want to come in? I could scrounge up a breakfast for you.” You tried to keep the hopefulness out of your voice, mildly embarrassed by how excited you felt at the thought of having someone else to talk to.

“Sure,” Shadowheart grinned. “I‘ll ask you what I came to ask you over some food.”

You stepped back, allowing Shadowheart to enter the hut. It was cozy and warm, the wood burning stove crackling in the corner. She looked around in amazement. “You did all this?” she asked, looking at the handmade furniture and shelves laden with herbs and vegetables.

“Yes,” you said, wiping your sweaty palms on your pants. “I’ve been keeping myself busy.”

Shadowheart approached your makeshift table, running her hands along the rough surface. “It’s beautiful.” she murmured, looking at you with awe.

“Thanks.” You smiled shyly,

“So, how are you holding up?” She asked, sitting down on a hand-built stool. “And how’s the baby?”

“I’m doing okay.” You sighed, sitting across from the woman. “The baby is too. Although it’s grown so much that I can’t see my feet anymore.”

“You must be getting close then.”

“Mhm.” You responded, not offering anything else. You weren’t keen on discussing the actual birth. You still hadn’t decided on whether it was responsible to handle it on your own or not. In truth, you were completely out of your depth.

“So what is it you wanted to ask me?” You changed the subject with a grin.

Shadowheart’s face became guarded and she paused for a moment, as if trying to piece the words together.

“I want you to come with me to the reunion.” She whispered.

Your eyebrows furrowed as the words hung in the air.

“You can’t live alone forever.” Shadowheart continued after a moment of silence. “This place is wonderful and I’m glad you’re doing as well as you are, but you can’t force yourself into solitude.”

“Stop.” You cut her off, feeling the telltale dull ache of a migraine coming on. “You already know my answer.”

“Please, at least think about it.” Shadowheart pleaded, reaching across the table for your hand.

“Stop.” You repeated, slipping your hand away from her grasp. “Just stop.”

You felt tears threatening to well in your eyes and you cursed the hormones that made the tears so easy to spill.

“I’m not facing them. Not after losing Halsin.”

“But.” Shadowheart started before you cut her off with your hand.

“My answer is no.” You snapped before your voice softened. “I think you should leave.”

You adverted Shadowheart’s pointed gaze, feeling her eyes bore into you still. With a sigh, she nodded slowly. You looked back to see a mix of disappointment and understanding across her features.

She stood up and walked over to the door, her gaze still locked on you.

“I understand. Please know I’m here for you if you ever change your mind.” She said softly before leaving.

You watched her go through the open doorway, the silhouette of her figure disappearing into the dense forest. The words she’d said hung in the air, making you feel a twinge of guilt. There was probably a softer way to handle that conversation. A compromise you could have made.

For a moment you sat at the table in the middle of the room, staring blankly at the empty doorway. Your mind was whirling, trying to understand your own feelings and determine what was best for your tiny family.

It was a delicate balance, trying to protect your baby without pushing your grief and expectations onto it.

You took a deep breath and stood up, picking up your gardening tools once again.

There was no time for such idle thoughts.

After all. There were carrots to pick.

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As Halsin trudged his way toward’s the Druid’s grove, he couldn’t help but focus on the nagging sense of dread that filled his body. He had spent months looking for you, asking everyone he saw in Baldur’s Gate whether they had seen anyone of your description.

But the answer was the same every time, always a no. The letters to his past companions remained unanswered, his messaging spell falling on deaf ears.

The Druid almost felt as if he was a ghost, a memory of what he once was that no one could really see. He tried to make sense of it, maybe everyone truly thought he had died in that ocean. Maybe they thought his letters sent by some sort of imposter.

Halsin gritted his teeth, trying to will himself to think of other matters. He needed to find you.

All Halsin could see when he thought of you was the look of pure terror on your face as he hurtled over the edge of the Elder Brain. The silent scream ripping from your throat as he lost view of you. He needed to replace that with something.

With anything.

More than anything, Halsin wanted to replace it with the sight of your smile when you finally saw him again.

Halsin felt weak as he continued to lumber along the path, too weak to even shift into his cave bear form, though he’d be much more comfortable traveling that way.

He hadn’t been focusing on his own needs lately, skipping sleep and meals to focus on finding you again. He was out of options now, and all he could hope was to find some sort of hint of your whereabouts from his fellow Druids.

As Halsin reached the grove, his heart raced with anticipation and desperation. He took a deep breath and stepped through the entrance, scanning the faces of his fellow druids with hope-filled eyes.

One by one, he approached each of them, greeting them with a warm smile and asking if they knew of any adventurers who had disappeared recently or anyone who might be looking for a missing companion.

The Druids, surprised to see him well… alive and seemingly pained by Halsin's persistence to change the subject , shook their heads and offered sympathetic words. They hadn’t seen you pass through

Halsin's hope began to dwindle with each negative response, his heart aching with every new face that met his eyes. He felt the dread building inside him once more, suffocating him as he trudged further into the grove.

Suddenly, a familiar sound caught his attention. A laugh. A laugh he knew well but couldn’t seem to place it in his weary state.

He blindly followed the sound, brushing by people as he tried to find the source. Finally, a brown haired man came into view, the figure laughing at whatever the man in front of him was saying.

Halsin stumbled as he finally placed the voice.

“Gale?” Halsin murmured.

Gale spun around, the wizard raising his eyebrows in surprise. He reached out to steady himself by holding onto Wyll’s arm, his face paled as if he was looking into the eyes of a ghost.

“Halsin?” Gale whispered, his eyes wide.

Wyll mouth hung agape as he looked at Halsin, seemingly unable to fathom that the Druid was now standing before him. That he was alive after his fall into the murky depths.

“Halsin! By the gods, it is you!” Gale exclaimed, rushing forward to embrace the Druid, his eyes shining with disbelief and joy. Wyll stood beside him, a mix of shock and relief etched across his features.

Halsin returned the embrace warmly, feeling a rush of emotions flood through him at the sight of his old companions. It was a moment he had dreamt about during his long search, but he never dared to pause long enough to hope for.

“How? How are you here?” Wyll stuttered out, still trying to process the unexpected reunion.

Halsin took a step back, a smile spreading across his face. “It's a long story,” he began, “but seeing you both here is a sign that Silvanus has brought us back together.”

Gale clapped Halsin on the shoulder, his eyes bright with excitement. “You have no idea how much we've missed you, old friend. We thought we had lost you for good after that nasty tumble.”

“I tried to write.” Halsin muttered, a teasing tone of annoyance in his voice.

“Would you have answered a letter from someone you thought dead?” Wyll asked incredulously.

“Perhaps not.” Halsin chuckled, pulling the Duke into a hug.

The reunion lifted some of the weight that had been pressing down on Halsin for so long, if only for a moment. The two men before him began chattering on endlessly about what they had been up to, their adventures and misadventures.

But amidst the talking, a shadow continued to loom in Halsin’s mind. He couldn’t shake the thought of you, the one he had really set out to find in the first place. Despite the happiness of being back with his companions, he really only wanted to see one person. There were so many things he wanted to say. so many promises he wanted to make.

“I’m sorry to interrupt.” Halsin cut off the conversation for a moment, looking between both Gale and Wyll. “But is Tav with you? I’ve been looking for her everywhere, but it seems no one has seen even a glimpse of her.”

Gale and Wyll exchanged uneasy glances. Wyll cast his eyes off to the side, taking in a deep breath as Gale fidgeted uncomfortably.

Halsin couldn’t help but feel his stomach start to turn at the reaction. Unease starting to mix with agitation.

“Well?” He pressed.

“Halsin…” Wyll started, throwing Gale one more glance. “I think this is something we should speak of in private.”

Halsin’s eyebrows furrowed, unease quickly being replaced with dread. Whatever they had to say couldn’t at all be good. Not with the way Gale’s teeth ground tight and Wyll’s hands wrung against each other.

“No. Tell me now.” The Druid demanded.

“I really think-“ Gale started.

“She didn’t make it in the crash.” Wyll said quietly.

Halsin felt the world around him crumble at Wyll's words. The ground beneath his feet seemed to shift, the air around him growing heavy and suffocating.

You were gone.

The realization hit him like a physical blow, knocking the breath from his lungs.

His mind raced, trying to process the devastating words. You, the one he had searched for tirelessly, the one he had longed to see again, were no more? The image of your smile, your unwavering determination, your fierce loyalty flashed before his eyes, each memory twisting the knife of grief deeper into his heart.

Wyll's voice sounded distant as he continued to speak, explaining the details of your fate in the crash. Halsin felt as if he were trapped in a nightmare, unable to wake up from the cruel reality that had caught him.

Gale's hand on his shoulder brought him back to the present moment. The wizard's eyes pained. “You should talk to Shadowheart. She was the one to see it.”

Halsin's mind reeled, his heart heavy with grief and disbelief over your loss. The world around him seemed to blur as he struggled to come to terms with the crushing reality of your absence. Despite the comforting presence of Gale and Wyll, their words felt like a distant echo in the overwhelming silence that engulfed him.

Numbly, Halsin nodded at Gale's suggestion to speak with Shadowheart. He knew he needed answers, needed closure. Nothing else would convince him that he truly lost you. With leaden steps, he made his way through the grove, his thoughts a whirlwind of memories and shattered hopes.

When he finally found Shadowheart, she looked at him with utter shock. The two stood looking at each other in silence for a moment, rendered speechless for very different reasons.

“Halsin? But I thought you… but the crash…” Shadowheart stuttered, trying to make sense of the situation.

“Is she really gone?” Halsin choked out.

Shadowheart’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion before realization dawned on her. Halsin’s eyes stayed glued to the ground below him, not seeing the conflicted emotions playing across Shadowheart’s expression.

“I think you need a healer.” Shadowheart whispered softly.

Halsin shook his head, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. “No healer can mend this kind of wound,” he replied hoarsely, his voice thick with grief. The thought of you bore down on him like a heavy cloak, suffocating him with memories of shared moments and unspoken words.

Shadowheart’s gaze softened with sympathy as she reached out to touch Halsin’s arm.

“You need a healer.” She repeated. “Rest and heal tonight. I’ll…” She paused, her face twisting in concentration as she was obviously conflicting with her thoughts. “I’ll take you to where we set up a shrine for her. But not until you’ve had some rest.”

Halsin felt a mix of gratitude and reluctance at Shadowheart's offer. The idea of seeking solace in a makeshift gravesite sounded like a temporary respite, a bandage on a wound that cut deep into his soul. But he knew he needed to gather his strength, to find a way to honor your memory even with the weight of your absence heavy in his heart.

As the night descended upon the grove, Halsin found himself alone in the quiet darkness, surrounded by the hushed whispers of nature. Memories of you flooded his mind, each one a bittersweet reminder of what once was and what could have been. He couldn't shake the feeling that he had failed you somehow, that he should have been there to protect you from whatever fate had befallen you.

Tears welled up in Halsin's eyes as he sat beneath the starlit sky, a silent prayer whispered into the night for your spirit to find peace wherever it may roam. That wherever you had passed on to would have a view of the same stars he gazed upon now.

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You awoke with a stretch, rubbing the ache out of your hips softly. It took a little more effort to get out of bed with your bump, your center of gravity becoming difficult to gauge.

With a yawn, you looked out the small open window, taking in the bright peace of the morning. Birds sang throughout the trees, melody winding through the sound of the leaves in the wind.

You let your eyes flutter shut as you ground yourself, inhaling the faintly sweet scent of wildflowers. You started most mornings off this way, determined to start the day with positive and uplifting thoughts.

That and because the serenity of nature made you feel closer to Halsin without the painful ache of longing.

You shuffled off the small bed, stretching once more. You had definitely overslept today, your morning chores would be getting a much later start than usual.

You went about your morning routine with a sense of purpose, softly chiding the swell of your belly to not make the day too hard on it’s mother.

Your mind drifted away as you worked, absentmindedly wondering whether the baby would be a boy or a girl. You’d heard old wives tales about whether the bump sat low or high correlating to the gender, but you really couldn’t tell. It didn’t matter too much in the end, all you could hope for was a safe delivery.

While you were tidying your makeshift kitchen, you heard the soft crunch of footsteps approaching the cabin door. You left it open during the day, letting the cool forest air in. It would be impossible to miss any movement with it open, your ears too trained to sense change.

You sighed, figuring it was Shadowheart trying to convince you to join the land of the living once again. You tried to steel yourself, silently promising to be a little more agreeable this time even if your answer hadn’t changed.

“It’s still a no, Shadowheart, I don’t-“

You turned to the doorway and your words caught in your throat.

You stood absolutely still and silent, sure that your eyes were playing tricks on you.

Could it be possible? There in your doorway…

There stood Halsin.

You clutched at your chest, taking a tentative step back as you tried to make sense of what you were seeing. Halsin’s expression seemed to match your own. Silence, tense and heavy settling between you.

“Halsin?” You whispered, your voice cracking with uncertainty.

He stood there in the doorway, his gaze locked with yours, a mix of similar emotions seeming to swirl in his own eyes. The weight of his presence in the room felt palpable, like a storm brewing on the horizon, ready to unleash its fury.

You felt a surge of conflicting emotions wash over you - disbelief, hope, confusion. How could he be here after all this time? After everything that had happened? Your heart pounded in your chest, the silence stretching between you like an unspoken barrier.

Halsin took a hesitant step forward, as if afraid that any sudden movement would shatter the fragile moment hanging between you. His voice was barely above a whisper as he spoke your name, as if testing the reality of the situation.

You found yourself at a loss for words, your mind reeling with questions and doubts. Was this some trick of fate, a cruel illusion playing with your heart? Or was he truly standing before you, his towering figure all too large for the tiny doorframe you had made your life in?

Halsin’s eyes remained glued to yours as you stood, his lips parted as he seemed to search for the words he wanted to say. His eyes flitted to the ground before he went rigid.

You watched, breath caught in your throat as Halsin’s gaze locked onto your stomach.

Onto the soft swell of his child growing inside of you.

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Part 5 ~ End

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#halsin #halsin x reader #halsin x tav #halsin x you #halsin fanfic #halsin fanfiction #halsin romance #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 halsin #baldurs gate 3 halsin #halsin smut #halsin series #daddy halsin #halsin fic #baldurs gate halsin #baldurs gate 3 fanfiction #baldurs gate 3 series #bg3 series #halsin silverbough #halsin fluff #bg3 fluff #bg3 smut #baldurs gate 3 fluff #baldurs gate 3 smut #baldurs gate 3 x reader #bg3 x reader #tav x halsin #reader x halsin #you x halsin

[byuntrash101]

headache

reader x soft dom!seonghwa smut | mdni 1.7k you've been suffering from headaches recently but your boyfriend knows exactly how to get rid of them nsfw tags under the cut

very gentle and soft dom!hwa, established relationship, daddy kink, pet names (babygirl, angel), making out, oral (f), fingering (f), hwa is pussy drunk, tiny bit of possessive!hwa, praising, edging, watersports + omorashi

a/n: i stumbled on a twitter p♡rn link and it blossomed into this <3. a lot of you asked me for more ws so here it is hehe. i hope you enjoy. if it's not your thing it's okay! just dont read okay babe? i have other fics for you in the masterlist <3

DISCLAIMER: PLEASE MAKE SURE TO READ THE TAGS AND TO CLICK OFF IF ANYTHING SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING YOU WOULDN’T ENJOY.

ateez masterlist | navigation

Recently you’ve been suffering from recurring headaches. At first you thought it was your cycle. But then you became more attentive to when the headaches occurred. And it turns out you simply were not drinking enough water! The thing is that your headaches always happened when you got home after being at your boyfriend's place for a couple of days. Simply because, well, when you were there you’re too busy cuddling and kissing to be taking your lips off him for even a second to drink a sip of water. 

The good thing is it’s an easy remedy: just drink more water.

And Seonghwa intends to ensure your good hydration this time. Out of kindness of course, out of love! Nothing more! He just hates when you get home and call him the next day with your small little voice to tell him you had to lock yourself up in the dark, because your head is ringing and he can’t even be around you to pamper you and take care of his baby, that breaks his heart. He hates to know you’re in pain.

So today your loving boyfriend makes sure you do just that: drink more water.

When you watched the latest episode of your series on Netflix he paused several times to get you a full glass of water. When you ate your take out again three full glasses of water. 

Chilling on your phone watching tiktok “don’t forget your water baby~”. Listening to his hilarious work stories “your water babe”. 

Even going as far as making you drink when he held you in his arms and you complained about not being able to reach the glass on the coffee table. 

“Here baby” he said, putting the rim of the glass against your lips. 

He couldn’t explain it but he felt himself twitch at the way your lips pursed up and opened slightly around the glass, your neck bending and following his wrist as he tilted the glass to let the water flow into your mouth. He throbbed at the way the water disappeared into your mouth as you swallowed in big gulps until the glass was completely empty, the ice cubes tinkling against the glass as he set the cup back on the coffee table. 

“Aaaaah~” you sighed in satisfaction. “Thanks Hwa”

“You’re welcome my angel” he said before pecking your lips made cool from the fresh water.

God how pretty you were like this, wrapped up in his arms like a fragile little bird, looking up at him with this bright smile and shiny wet lips. 

He planted another kiss right on your wet mouth but this time he parted his lips, his hot tongue reaching out to your cool one. Kissing you gently but deeply sharing his warmth and spit until your mouth was burning hot. Long fingers wrapping around your nape and pushing your face further into his. The gesture made you moan into his mouth making him smirk into the kiss. He loved the sounds that you made. So much so that he haphazardly reached for the TV remote to mute the device. He wanted to hear you, only you.

Then Seonghwa slipped you out of his lap to sit you on the couch. He kneeled in front of you to very carefully flip the hem of your skirt over your stomach. He couldn’t help but to smirk when his eyes finally laid on the beautiful lacey panties you were wearing today. One of his favorites. Baby pink with a pearly bow in the center. A pair he picked and gifted you.

“So fucking perfect” he breathed as you pushed your thighs together, feeling your arousal pool into the lace as he praised you. 

He bent over your legs to kiss the soft skin of your thighs, working his way up until he pressed a couple more to your pubic bone. You jerked a little as he pressed his face a little too hard on your lower stomach, given how much water you had drank.

“Now be a good girl for daddy and spread your legs” as he sat back up. You looked down at him through your lashes but still you obeyed and parted your knees as you heard your boyfriend curse under his breath. He smirked, spotting the wet patch of fabric, making the pink ever so slightly darker. 

“You’re wet already angel?” he snickered, his palm caressing your open thighs.

“Y-yeah. I got wet when daddy was tongue kissing me” you confessed before biting down on your lower lip.

“Fuck” Seonghwa swore again, his dick twiching in his pants, he could feel himself already leaking precum onto his boxers. He just loved when you were so upfront with him. You looked so innocent, covering half of your face with your back hand and breathing rapidly but your pussy was already soaked and gushing for him. And you had no shame admitting it and exposing yourself to him. To his eyes only. You were his only

He pulled on your legs to bring your ass to the edge of the couch before pulling your panties down, not even taking the time to discard them, just letting them hang on one of your ankles before he prompted you to spread your legs for him again.

The way your pussy lightly twitched and sparkled covered in your juices had his cock quivering in his sweatpants. He wanted to taste you. He needed to.

He approached his face to your sopping center and licked a long stripe from your entrance to your clit. Right before curling his tongue back in his mouth, scooping as much of your slick as he could, smacking his lips to fully take in your taste. Your flavor was sweeter than honey and more intoxicating than the strongest liquors.

Seonghwa wrapped his arms around your under thighs and pushed his palms on your hips. Securing you right in his hold and spreading you like a buffet.

“Fuck daddy~” you whined.

He approached his mouth once again but this time his lips wrapped around your clit as he gave you light kitten licks. He looked up at you lapping away at your bundle of nerves, you couldn’t help but to moan at the pleasure you felt. Soon you started to rock your hips, rubbing your juices onto his face as he didn’t alter his pace.

“Please Daddy” you complained, yearning for more.

“My baby girl is so eager” he said, not parting his lips from your heat.

“It’s because I love daddy’s mouth so much.” you whined. “Please let me cum on daddy’s tongue”

“Soon my baby. But daddy wants to taste you thoroughly first”

Minutes passed and Seonghwa was taking so much pleasure in edging you. Licking and sucking on your clit only to back away when he felt you twitch on his tongue just to see your precious little cunt throb around nothing and gushing out more of your juices just to be savored by him and repeat the process over and over again.

But at some point you couldn’t even focus on the pleasure anymore. The only thing you felt was how full you were. How full your bladder felt.

“Daddy” you started cautiously. 

“Yes angel?” your boyfriend replied, face still buried deep in your throbbing cunt.

“I-I think I drank too much water. I need to go to the b-bathroom” you said, shame slowly creeping under your skin.

Seonghwa smirked against your folds. Only to latch onto your clit again, this time licking more precisely on the sensitive bundle of nerves, making you moan loudly and arch your back.

“It’s okay baby. Daddy doesn’t mind.” he growled, eating you out like a starved man.

“No please daddy stop” you begged as you felt your pussy contract around nothing, your bladder also contracting dangerously. “It’s gross daddy” you complained, kicking your feet as the pleasure kept on rising.

“If it’s too much for you, just let go, okay angel?” He cooed against your folds.

“Please daddy…” you inhaled sharply, feeling yourself filled to the brim with piss. “Gonna p-” you whined but Seonghwa interrupted you.

“Just piss in daddy’s mouth baby” he said, pushing on your hips angling them just right. And you just couldn’t hold it in any longer. You let out your hot steamy piss right into your boyfriend's mouth. Seonghwa backed up a little and stuck his long tongue out as the powerful stream hit him right in the back of the throat letting out gurgles of satisfaction, gulping down as much piss as he could, mouth rapidly filling up to overflow and wetting his gray sweatpants.

When the stream started to slow down he wrapped his lips around your clit again and shoved two long fingers inside your cunt that he curled right into your g spot, pressing against your bladder again. The stream of hot piss picked up.

He wanted to drain you, take all of your piss for himself. 

He started to pump his fingers in and out of your dripping cunt rapidly.

“Fuck daddy loves your piss much baby” he briefly said before sucking and licking your clit again, swallowing more of your delicious nectar.

“Daddy I'm cumming” you cried out.

“Cum for daddy baby” he allowed. And you finally leap over the edge. The orgasm is one of the most intense ones you’ve experienced. It completely rips through your body and shatters the earth beneath you as your legs tense up and your hips shake uncontrollably. Your hungry little cunt violently twitching around Seonghwa’s relentless fingers still pumping in and out of you, accompanying you on your descent, grunting and humming against your folds and he licked and sucked on your swollen bud until the pleasure died down and your legs fell limp, hanging over Seonghwa’s toned shoulders. 

Seonghwa took a moment to admire your red and swollen cunt, occasionally twitching with the remnants on the strong orgasm your felt, sticky juices still lazily oozing out your entrance. He licked out one last stripe from your entrance and parted your lips with his tongue to twirl around your pee hole one last time.

“I think you’re cured now” he beamed at you smacking his lips, relishing in the intoxicating taste of your slick and piss one last time.

What a good boyfriend he was making sure you drank enough and making you cum to prevent your headaches.

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a/n: im still so self conscious about publishing watersports and this one was very filthy sooo pleaseeeeee comment and tell me if you enjoyed okay? just drop an anon ask if u dont want to leave ur userid on here! i would appreciate it so much <333

#seonghwa smut #ateez smut #seonghwa #ateez seonghwa #seonghwa fanfic #seonghwa fic #ateez fic #kpop smut #seonghwa x you #seonghwa x reader #ateez x you #ateez x reader #ateez hard thoughts #ateez hard hours #seonghwa hard hours #seonghwa hard thoughts

[atinylittlepain]

Apothecary - Chapter Four

joel miller x witchy!reader

series masterlist

questions are answered and truths are revealed. and they both cross lines they won't be coming back from.

warnings | 18+ canon-typical violence, angst, canon-typical descriptions of gore, smut (shhhh don't tell anyone) annnd spooky times, of course

a/n | y'all fucking rock for loving and supporting this series so much <3 my inbox is always open and i love to hear your thoughts about it. also i should mention this chapter is just a little bit longer, so get comfy before reading :)

..................................

The sun is only just rising when she sees him out of her house. Joel finds himself squinting in the faint morning light as he steps out on her porch, his eyes bleary from a night without sleep. 

“We’ll talk more later, right?” She leans against the doorframe, arms crossed as she asks him. He can see the worry lining her furrowed expression and he impulsively ducks his head to press a quick kiss to her lips, wanting to smooth out any uncertainty in her.

“Tonight, after my shift. Can I come by then?” Her expression eases into a smile and she nods, untucking her hand from where it was crossed under her arm to offer him a small tin– of what, he isn’t sure. 

“Salve made with comfrey root. For pain and swelling in those knuckles of yours.” Joel is starting to accept that knowing her is being constantly surprised by her, so he just nods and mumbles a soft thank you, taking the tin from her with his hand that isn’t all bandaged up.

“I’ll see you tonight, Joel.” 

“I’ll be here, darlin.” He’s still getting used to it, being able to reach for her and her reaching back, so his motions are a bit disjointed when he shuffles closer in search of another kiss. She makes it easier, though, bringing a hand to his jaw, a steady guide drawing him in. His nose barely brushes against hers when he jerks away in a flash, biting back a yelp as something brushes up against his ankles. He can tell that she’s holding back a laugh as she smoothly scoops Stevie up in her arms, the feline nuzzling up against her chin immediately.

“I think someone might be a little jealous.” Joel finds himself mirroring her easy smile, shaking his head before leaning in to steal that kiss he had been set on. It’s a quick little thing, Stevie letting out an indignant meow between them as he pulls away.

“You better go before Tommy comes looking for you.” One more look, one more smile, it feels like pulling away from a magnet as he leaves. He moves through town not fully there, his mind swirling with everything she told him last night. But the haze he finds himself walking through quickly clears when he makes it to the gate, finding his brother talking to Mason, who is clearly wound up judging by the way he’s in Tommy’s face. As Joel gets closer, Tommy’s eyes dart over Mason’s shoulder to him, prompting the man to turn around, revealing a clearly broken nose. Mason scoffs, looking once between Tommy and Joel before storming past them.

“Got something you wanna tell me, brother?” Tommy cocks an eyebrow at him, eyes glancing down to Joel’s bandaged hand before settling back on his face. 

“He got what he deserved.” Tommy snorts at that, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Oh, I know. It’s the talk of the town. Joel Miller went where no man has gone before– the witch’s lair.” He knows his brother is joking by the way he can barely get the words out behind a laugh, but Joel is having a hard time finding it amusing, huffing as he shoulders past Tommy, heading toward the stables to mount up and head out.

He and Tommy work well together, always have, and today is no different as they ride out for patrol, but what is normally a comforting quiet only gives Joel more time to stew over her dizzying story.

As far back as we could trace it– we’ve always been like this.

It’s energetic, really. Where others are closed, we’re open wide. 

I see the world in threads. Everything is tied together. What I do– what people call magic– is pulling on those threads.

He knows that he still doesn’t fully understand, but he reckons that she doesn’t fully understand either. What she could tell him, she did. 

She told him about growing up in Wyoming with her mother, how she first told her about these abilities when she caught her talking to a bird, and it seemed to be talking back. 

She told him how her mother was both revered and repelled in their small town, much the same way she is in Jackson. 

She told him that her mother had a vision the summer before everything fell apart, and took her out of her senior year of high school and up into the mountains to hide away while the world crumbled. 

She told him how they lived well like that for many years, until her mother had another one of her visions behind now milky eyes. A vision that it was time to go. 

She told him about the night before they were planning to leave, raiders coming in the dark and a stray bullet finding a home between her mother’s ribs. She wandered on her own for weeks, willing death to rejoin her with her family, but was instead found by Maria and one of the Jackson patrol groups. 

She told him about her time in Jackson. The people she helped. The lives she got tangled up with. And the men whom she always kept at a distance, beacons of grief and reminders of what people really thought of her.

She spoke as if in a trance, her eyes and voice unwavering save for the shuddering breaths she took between words. And when she finished, Joel had risen from his seat and coaxed her up with him, pressing her close in his arms until the shake in her shoulders steadied. 

He’s gotten the truth now, and he spins it over and over in his mind, his thoughts flitting up into the thin mountain air.

…

She’s being followed. Has been since she set out on her rounds this morning, paying house visits to folks in Jackson that need her care. Stevie lets out a sour hiss from her place tucked in her satchel, and she chances a glance over her shoulder. Sure enough, the black dog is following behind her at a close but respectable distance. If it hadn’t been going on since she left her house this morning, she probably wouldn’t even notice. But it had been sitting right next to her mailbox, head tilted at her as she stepped down from her porch, and she knew then that this wasn’t just a random visitor. It was an omen.

“Go on, get!” She waves her arm behind her, uselessly trying to shoo the dog away, who only looks at her with that same head tilt. 

Four other times this had happened. 

The first time, it had been an inky black crow, squawking and hopping along from house to house, trailing behind her. They brought him back that night, slung over the back of one of the horses, a smear of bullet wounds in his back.

The second time, it had been a rat that skittered along fence posts and wove between people’s feet. He didn’t even make it out of the gates that morning, trampled to death by a newly-trained horse. 

The third time, it had been a beetle, a creature certainly not indigenous to Wyoming. She kept picking it up in a glass jar and taking it outside, but everytime, it found its way back into her shop. A freak accident, people said, for someone so young to have a heart attack so suddenly. 

The fourth time, it had been a black dog, the same black dog following her today, though it’s now much grayer in the face. They didn’t even bring his body back that time, not after he was infected.

Finishing her last house call, she jerkily makes her way toward her shop, trying to ignore the icy prickle shivering up her spine at the sound of paws padding behind her. She’s trying not to look like a freak, but judging by the glances people are giving her as she walks through town, she isn’t doing a very good job of hiding her mounting panic. 

“I said go away.”

“Woah, I thought you told me you needed my help today, but I can go I guess.” She whips around from where she had been scolding the mutt at the sound of Ellie’s voice, finding her waiting in front of the store.

“I’m sorry, Ellie. I wasn’t talking to you, I was– well, I was–” She motions vaguely behind her to the dog that has now sat on its haunches, panting lightly and looking at them. Ellie, however, is entirely unbothered by the animal, walking right over to it and crouching down to pat its scruffy head. The sight makes her feel a bit sick, knowing exactly what the presence of this animal means.

“C-c’mon, that thing probably has fleas. Let’s go inside and get to work, alright?” Ellie smiles up at her, nodding with a sigh as she walks over to where she is unlocking the door to the shop. She keeps her eye on the dog over Ellie’s shoulder, even as she opens the door and motions for the girl to go inside. 

“You’re acting– weird.” She mutters something about not sleeping well, and although Ellie doesn’t seem to buy that, she shuffles inside. Before she follows after Ellie, she sets her satchel down just inside the door, Stevie stepping out and running to the back of the shop in search of the girl. She turns around to face the dog who has now inched closer to her, and does the only thing she can think to do.

The people of Jackson got quite the show that afternoon as she chased the scruffy mutt, her arms waving and muttered curses loosing from her lips, as far away from her shop as she could. 

“You stay. Do you hear me? He’s coming back– h-he is.” With a final huff, she turns on her heel, stomping a direct path back to the shop and slamming the door behind her, Stevie’s and Ellie’s heads whipping up at her blustery entrance. She just huffs at their wide-eyed stares, her shoulders slumping when she glances back through the shop door window and sees that damn dog sitting on the stoop, head eternally tilted.

…

It’s been a slow day of patrol. They rode up around the dam, relieved to not find any raiders, a seemingly perpetual nuisance. It must be late in the afternoon when they decide to start heading back through the thickening woods.

“So, you two are really making a go of it, huh?” Joel glances over at Tommy, grunting at his brother’s prying question.

“Suppose we are.” Tommy chuckles.

“You never did take any of my advice. Good luck, brother. But please, try not to make a habit out of busting people’s faces for her.” It’s meant in jest, but Joel shoots him a hard look from atop his horse.

“You would’ve done the same if you had seen what he did to her.” When Tommy’s brow furrows, Joel lets out a bitter laugh.

“What? Did Mason leave out that detail? I watched that fucker slam her head against a wall, Tommy. If I hadn’t stopped him, he would’ve done much worse.” Tommy mutters a low jesus christ under his breath, shaking his head at Joel’s words.

“Fuck, Joel– I’ll talk to Maria about this–”

“Don’t. Asshole like that– best to just let it go. I think I made my point. But if he tries anything again, I won’t hesitate, Tommy. I just won’t.” Tommy offers him a faint nod, both of them settling back into silence as they continue riding. 

It happens in a flash. Someone– or something– comes bounding out of the trees, spooking Joel’s horse enough that he gets thrown right off. He groans, scrambling to get to his feet as Tommy wheels around, but before Joel can get his bearings, he’s tackled back down to the ground. 

Snapping teeth and garbled shrieks, a disorienting mix as he struggles to push the clicker off of him. He can’t hear anything else, no clue if Tommy is alright, if they have any shot of making it out of this alive. All he can do is flail on the ground with this snarling creature, his bare hands doing little to repel its staggering force.

A cool fear starts to trickle in. A fear that this might be the time he doesn’t make it back.

…

She’s watching the clock, face scrunched into a permanent scowl of worry. The beds of her nails had all been picked raw several hours ago, and she had only stopped when they started to bleed. In her spiraling state, she had sent Ellie off early, not wanting to draw any more attention to her obvious anxiety. Stevie sits in the storefront window, hissing and clawing at the dog who has now laid down in front of the store.

It isn’t her fault. She tells herself this, over and over. She knows that it isn’t her fault. That it hadn’t ever been her fault, not now and not before. Deep down, she knows this, but the nagging voices of Jackson, and what people believe contrarily, seeps in around the edges of her mind, a sour poison that settles thick in her thoughts. And she braces herself for the worst, a full body tensing, waiting for the news to come.

Five o’clock. He should’ve been back an hour ago. But just as the clock rolls over into the new hour, Stevie stops hissing altogether. She gets up from her stool behind the old checkout counter, craning her neck to look out the window, but finds no sign of the dog that had been following her all day. 

She moves before she thinks, leaving the door to the shop ajar as she stumbles out and starts walking briskly toward the town’s gate. When she rounds the corner and the gate comes into her line of sight, the slow creaking of its opening resounding in her bones, her feet kick up into a stilted jog. It barely registers to her that she’s crying, the cool slip of it running down her cheeks. When she only sees Tommy riding in, she stops in her tracks, heart stuttering still in her chest. But she breaks into a sprint when Joel comes into sight, riding in just behind his brother. 

She lets out a yelp of his name, his head jerking up at the sound. A sob breaks in her ribs when his eyes meet hers, and he’s quick to slip down off his horse, taking a few tentative steps forward before she’s crashing right into him. 

A hard breath is pushed out of him as he stumbles back a few paces, his arms wrapping firm around her as she presses her face into his chest, her hands clinging to the fabric of his shirt. When she finally pulls away, she brings her hands to his jaw, holding his face still as her eyes search his.

“Are you– are you ok?” He nods, clearly caught off guard by her frenzied greeting.

“I am, but– how did you– I mean, I’m fine. Just a little bruised. But I’ll live.” His words make a laugh bubble up in her throat, and when she lets it loose he really does look at her like she’s gone crazy.

“The dog was wrong–” She lets out another bright laugh.

“The dog was wrong!” His brow creases in even greater confusion.

“What dog? What’re you talk–” She cuts him off with a hard kiss, a smooch really, the kind that would make a cartoon character’s head explode in a shower of confetti hearts. But Joel’s blush when she pulls away with a sweet smack accomplishes much the same effect.

“I am so glad you’re back.” 

…

“Damn, is this soup magic? Because it’s way better than anything Joel cooks.” 

“Kid.” Ellie looks up at him from where she’s all but face-planted into her bowl of soup, shrugging at his scolding. She takes it in stride, though, laughing at Ellie’s exclamation.

“Not magic– but I’m glad you like it.” It’s a strange sight, her sitting at his kitchen table. It had been even stranger watching her flit around his kitchen, cooking for him and Ellie like she had done it hundreds of times before. But she had insisted after he told her what happened on patrol, not letting him get another word in edgewise as she led him first to her shop to pick up Stevie and that satchel of hers, and then to his house where she had immediately gotten to work with whatever odds and ends she could find in his fridge. Joel would never protest at the promise of a hot meal that he didn’t have to make, and he has to admit that the kid is right, the soup is really fucking good.

The rest of their meal passes quietly, the continuous purrs of Stevie sitting in Ellie’s lap being interrupted only when Ellie finishes her bowl with a contented groan.

“That was so fucking good, seriously. Can you come over more often? Because Joel’s idea of cooking is opening a can of really old chef boyardee beef–”

“Kid.” Joel is entirely mortified, but once again, Ellie just huffs, coaxing Stevie off her lap and standing up to take her bowl to the sink, glancing at them over her shoulder.

“What? It’s true. Anyways, I gotta run– Dina and I are going to movie night together.” Ellie wiggles her eyebrows as she leans back against the sink, but before Joel can even tell her to be safe, she’s already bounding through the house and out the front door with a loud “don’t wait up!” All he can do is slump back in his chair with a huff.

“That nudge you gave Ellie is going to send me to an early grave.” She snorts at that, sitting back in her own chair across from him and crossing her arms over her chest.

“I think it’s sweet– a little young love could do this world some good.” With that, she gets up, grabbing her own bowl as well as his and heading over to the sink. He goes to get up, protesting at her cleaning up after them, but finds himself sitting back down with a wince that catches her attention.

“You feeling alright?”

“I mean– no. Feel like I got thrown off a horse, probably because I did.” She offers him a small smile, tilting her head.

“Let me get this cleaned up, huh? I think I can help with that.”

Just a little while later, when she has him lead her up into his bathroom, Joel reckons that her idea of helping may give him a heart attack.

“Do you like the water really really hot, or just warm?” He has to clear his throat and pull his eyes away from the soft curve of her jeans where she’s bent over the tub, fiddling with the faucet, before he can answer.

“Um, I don’t– I don’t know. I guess I’ve never actually used this thing.” She whips around at that, brow furrowed.

“You’re kidding, right? You have this super nice tub, and you’ve never used it?” When all he does is shrug, she sighs.

“Well, I’ll just have to show you what you’re missing out on then. Can you go grab my bag? I left it right next to the stairs.” He pads out into the hallway, finding her satchel slung over the top of the railing of the stairs just as Stevie comes slinking up the steps. 

“She asked me to get her bag for– Jesus christ, I’m talking to a cat.” He swipes a palm down his face, letting out a long sigh, only slightly shocked when Stevie lets out an inquisitive mrrp that sounds a whole lot like a response. 

“You stay, alright? Go– be creepy somewhere else.” At that, Stevie lets out an indignant mroowww, tilting her head at him. It’s certainly a first for him, having a staredown with a cat, but he assumes he wins when Stevie turns away with another little mrrp, padding silently back down the steps. 

When he reenters the bathroom, a haze of steam has filled up the room, and she’s sitting on the edge of the tub, checking the temperature of the water with her hand.

“There you are, thanks for grabbing that. You didn’t happen to see Stevie out there, did you?”

“Hmm? Oh, um, no, I didn’t. “ Luckily, she buys his answer, shaking her head with a light laugh as she takes her bag from him.

“Probably slinked off to find some trouble for the night. Anyways, let me finish getting this ready for you.” She pulls out a cloth sack from her satchel, digging her hand in and sprinkling what looks like salt over the bath. Before he can even ask, she explains it to him with a smile.

“Epsom salt. There’s a lake up in the mountains that dries out every summer and there’s always tons of this stuff on the lakebed. Mixed with a little lavender and chamomile to calm down inflammation.” He speaks before he can really think about it, feeling like a fool the instant the words leave his mouth.

“You’re amazing, d’you know that?” She laughs, keeping her eyes turned down as she swirls the water a few times with her hand before standing up to look at him.

“It should be all set. I recommend staying in there for at least a half hour, but really, if you can soak for more like an hour that’d be best.” She’s moving and talking so fast, slinging her bag over her shoulder and heading for the door, that Joel can barely stutter out his response, the flush creeping up his neck only burning brighter when he does.

“Wait– I thought you– um, I thought– would you– stay?” Fucking hell, just bury me now, why don’t you? Her eyes widen first, but then soften as a grin crooks across her lips.

“Joel Miller, are you asking me to join you?” 

“Only if you’d say yes.” Her grin broadens, beautiful and blinding. 

“Well, since you asked so nicely.”

…

She realizes a bit too late that she’s nervous, her fingers trembling at the button of her jeans as they both silently undress. Her ears prick to the sound of a belt buckle clinking, the clean sweep of leather being pulled out of belt loops, followed by the quick thrum of a zipper. But she doesn’t look at him, not yet, to save what little nerve she still has worked up.

And then, when they’re both standing in a puddle of clothes, she wills her eyes to peel away from the tiled floor. She sees him in fragments, darting glances over sun-faded skin and soft strength, a thatch of dark curls that she tries not to stare at for too long. She finally looks at his face, and sees that he’s doing much the same, darkened eyes collecting her. She lets him.

“We should, um, we should get in– before the water gets cold.” She mentally kicks herself for the wobble in her voice, but Joel doesn’t seem to notice. In fact, he doesn’t seem to notice at all, his eyes still roaming over her. She says his name, and his focus snaps back to attention.

“Um, right– I’ll just–” There’s nothing graceful about Joel Miller getting into a bathtub, and that’s how she knows she’s really taken with him, because somehow she still finds it endearing. And she just about swoons when he holds a hand out to her over the lip of the tub. 

She doesn’t let herself think too hard about it, sinking into the warm water, her back facing him as she sits down between his legs. A careful hand slips over her hip, causing her to peer over her shoulder at him.

“This ok?” She hums her affirmation, letting him guide her back until she’s pressed up against the warmth of his chest. His palm skates over the top of her thigh, arcing out of the water to rest on top of her bent knee. 

“Just relax, darlin.” “I’m pretty sure you’re the one who’s supposed to be relaxing.” She feels the vibration of his hummed response running up her spine, and it coaxes her to slump further against him, her head resting back on his shoulder.

“Oh, I am, believe me.” She laughs at that, though it fizzles out when his hand dips back down under the water, fingers curling at the crux of her thigh.

“Can I ask you something?” She’s a little too distracted by the way his thumb is rubbing circles into the soft inside of her thigh to be embarrassed by the breathy uh-huh she responds with.

“Heard a rumor about you from some of the women in town.” That makes her stiffen in his hold, only melting a little when he presses a sweet kiss to the side of her neck.

“I bet you heard a lot of rumors from them.” He hums again, low and gravelly.

“I did– but I really wanna know if this one is true.” She tilts her chin up, neck crooking to look at him and the faint smirk he’s sporting.

“They said they’ve seen you out in the middle of the night, dancing naked in your backyard.” Water splashes up against the sides of the tub as she laughs, squawks really, at his words, quickly turning in his hold and tangling her hands behind his neck. She can feel him, warm and hard, resting along her thigh as she straddles him, and she revels in the pretty flush that spreads across his cheeks. She’s got Joel Miller flustered, and she likes it. Taking him for all he’s worth, she leans in, letting her lips trace the shell of his ear as she speaks.

“Only on Halloween, baby.” His fingers grip a little tighter along the plush of her hips, and she has to giggle at the spluttering exhale he lets out.

“Jesus christ– are you serious?” She sighs, tilting her head at him as she tugs lightly at the curls at the nape of his neck.

“I guess you’ll just have to wait and see, huh?” He swallows her laugh, lips finally slotting with hers, his palm trailing up her spine to press her closer, and it’s right then that she realizes how badly she had been jonesing for a kiss from him. This one is different than any they’ve shared before. It’s a kiss that takes its time, a slow exploration punctuated by murmuring sighs and wandering hands. She finds that he’s a stubborn kisser, always trying to get the upper hand, his tongue swiping across her lip before licking into her mouth. But she doesn’t let him have it for long, her teeth grazing his bottom lip, reveling in the little groan he lets out and using it to her advantage as she presses closer to him, the peaked slopes of her nipples dragging across his chest. 

He shifts his hips down and away from the back of the tub, giving her space to wrap her legs around his waist, ankles grazing his low back and she thinks briefly that his bathroom is going to be a mess, water sloshing out over the sides of the tub with their increasingly frantic movements. Though she doesn’t have much time to worry about it when he ducks his head down, pressing a sweet kiss to her sternum that is starkly contrasted by the subsequent drag of his lips over one of her breasts, teeth grazing over her nipple before he laves his tongue over the bud. She lets out a gasp of his name when he sucks the delicate skin into his mouth, no longer trying to hold back the grind of her hips into the coarse hair covering his pelvis, his cock brushing up against her ass with the movement. Seemingly satisfied with his ministrations, he pulls away with a sweet little pop, his eyes impossibly darker as he looks at her.

“Want you, darlin, so bad. Can I– fuck– can I have you?” Afraid of what her voice might sound like, her response to him is another bruising kiss, tugging just a tad unkindly on his hair as she shifts her hips back, both of them groaning when her cunt grazes the underside of his cock. 

“Want you too, Joel, please.” She doesn’t care that it comes out like a whine, too preoccupied with chasing the pleasure of his cock rutting against where she wants him most. But she stills when Joel places a firm hand to her hip, her brow furrowing at him.

“We’re not doing this in a fucking bathtub, not the first time.” She splutters out a laugh at his very serious expression, but she realizes he’s not kidding when he gently untangles her legs from around him, tugging her up along with him, water going everywhere as they step out of the tub in a slipping tangle of limbs. She’s finding that she can’t get enough of him, stealing whatever kisses she can get as he pulls her into the bedroom, her lips dragging down the column of his throat and over the top of his chest. And then a quick blur and breathy oof from Joel has them tumbling back onto his bed, her palms splaying out over his chest as she straddles his hips. They don’t stay like that for long though, Joel squeezing her ass and rolling them over in a surprisingly smooth move, slotting himself between her spread thighs. 

All of a sudden, things start to move slower, thicker, as he drags a palm down her torso, flipping his wrist around when he reaches her pelvis and cupping her heat in a flat press. She cants her hips into his hold, sighing at the firm grind of the heel of his palm over her clit. And while it feels good, it isn’t what she really wants.

“Joel– don’t tease. I just, fuck– just want you.” He grins, the bastard, shifting his hand to dip two of his fingers against her entrance, the stretch sweet and stinging when he pushes in. 

“Not gonna tease you, darlin. Just wanna get you ready f’me. Fuck– you’re driving me crazy.” She knows that he’s not just being arrogant, having gotten a good look, and feel, of his cock, but the steady rhythm of his fingers pumping inside of her is only making her want him more.

“Please, please– I’m ready, I swear. Just, fucking–” He shushes her with a quick kiss, and by giving her what she wants, moving his hand away and hovering over her, the heavy heat of his cock resting against the apex of her thighs. 

It’s all quiet communication. He draws one palm along the outside of her thigh, coaxing her leg up, her knee resting against his waist as she opens up even more for him. She drags her hands down his chest, the soft pudge of his belly, before hooking them under and around to press into the shuddering muscles of his back. It’s a languid motion, her hips tilting up to meet his rolling forward, both of them letting out broken sighs as he fills her completely. 

“Fucking– s’perfect- you’re perfect– I can’t– I– christ.” He breathes out a hard exhale, resting his forehead against her sternum, hips still flush with hers. She presses a smattering of kisses to his hairline, coaxing him to look up at her.

“Don’t think christ has anything to do with it, baby.” His chuckle at her smug words turns into a low groan when she flutters around him, both of them going a little sick with the pleasure of it all.

“Can I move, darlin? Shit– I’m not gonna last like this– feels too fucking good.” All he needs is her jerky nod for him to arc his hips away before snapping back, deep and slow, finding a push and pull that has them both sighing with each thrust. It feels like he’s everywhere, his mouth open and hot across her chest, his damp hair tickling the skin over her collarbone, his murmuring groans mixing with each of her sighs, and his throbbing length, every inch of him spreading her open again and again and again. She has half a mind to be embarrassed by how quickly she’s tipping over the edge of pleasure, but she doesn’t care, not when Joel is coaxing her into it with low drawling praises.

“That’s it, honey– so good like this– so beautiful– shit– come for me, please– need to– need to feel you–” He brings a trembling hand down over her pelvis, deft fingers drawing circles over her clit and it becomes too much all at once, his name leaving her lips in a quiet cry as she falls apart around him. He fucks her through it, his pace slowing into more of a deep grind that jostles them further up the bed with each stroke. All she can do is hold on, fingernails digging into his shoulder blades, her hitched heel pressing into his low back as he chases after his own high. She pieces herself together enough to drag her hand through his hair, pulling his face down so she can murmur in his ear.

“Want it so bad, Joel– please, baby– wanna see you come for me– let me see you– let me have it.” He groans out her name, sounding more like pain than pleasure as he pulls away, leaning back on his haunches to sloppily stroke his glistening cock. She moves in a haze of desire, scrambling onto her hands and knees, her face coming level with his flushed length as she drops her jaw and sticks her tongue out, spit pooling from want as she looks up at him through her lashes. 

She watches him closely as he comes with a slur of curses, breathless as the salt of his spend spurts onto her tongue, smudging across her lips and dripping down her chin. His shoulders slump, chest heaving as he runs a trembling hand through his hair, eyes not leaving hers as she sits back and swipes up the stray come on her skin, sucking her fingers into her mouth with a low hum. She’d never call that taste appealing, but the fact that it came from him, a sign of his pleasure which she had been sovereign over, sends a shiver up her spine as she swirls her tongue over her fingers. 

…

She’s trying to kill him, she has to be, with her little smile and the lewd pop of her fingers leaving her mouth.

“You’re fucking unreal, goddamn.” She laughs at his exclamation and he swallows the sound, pulling her in for a kiss, his mind going fuzzy at the taste of what he assumes is himself on her lips. Even though he feels like he just ran a marathon, he can’t help but deepen the kiss, their mouths molding and moving as they lay down in a close tangle. 

When they do pull away from each other, it’s with a shared sigh, and she rests her cheek on his chest, right where he knows she can hear his racing heart. She presses a kiss to that spot before tilting her chin up to look at him.

“I’m really glad you came back today, Joel.” His brow furrows, thinking back to earlier and the strange things she had said, her frantic greeting, and the relief that had been clear in her eyes. Another piece of her that he doesn’t quite understand. But he’s ok with that, with not knowing everything about her, at least not yet. She’s already unfurled so much of her life for him, and he’s prepared to wait patiently for whatever else she’ll offer him. As long as he gets to have her like this, warm and soft, keening into his touch, eyes hooded with a shared pleasure. 

No other words are needed, not right now. He coaxes her chin up with a gentle press of his fingers, stealing one more kiss before they both settle down in each other’s arms. 

................................

taglist (i added some folks i thought would like to be, let me know if you want added or dropped lmao) : @boofy1998 @misspascaliverse @jasminedragoon @beskarandblasters @daddy-din @subconsciouscollapse @avidreader73 @pedgeitopascal @littlelou22 @wannab-urs @hannahlupinblack @whoiscaroline @leeeesahhh

#apothecary #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller angst #joel miller #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller series #joel miller fluff #joel miller au #joel miller fic #tlou fanfiction #the last of us #tlou #joel miller smut

[munsonhoneybaby]

i’d love to see a drabble or a blurb with eddie and the fishnets👀

yet again this one got away from me lol so it's a little long for a drabble but i hope you enjoy !!

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: 18+ mdni, smut, grinding, oral (f receiving), fingering

A/N: takes place in the too much in common realm but isn't a part of the main series !! song is witchy woman by the eagles <3

In a town like Hawkins, there weren’t many occasions that fishnets were suitable for. So, by the time you did eventually wear them again, you had pretty much forgotten about the ‘promise’ you’d made Eddie. He hadn’t, of course.

“Are you sure we have to go, baby?” His fingers clawed at your hips through the thin black dress you wore. “C’mon, let’s just stay in tonight.”

“I didn’t just spend two hours getting ready to ‘stay in’. Plus, I’m excited. I like getting out of town and doing things every now and then, and Steve said this place is supposed to be really cool.” You eyed him in the mirror as you swiped on some lip gloss. The red of his button-up was so deep it was almost black, tucked into his black jeans with the top three buttons undone. Silver chains hung from his belt loops, matching his rings and the barbell in his tongue that had just recently finished healing. Another silver chain sat around his wrist which was soon joined by a hair tie, his boots thudding heavily– even on the carpet– when he grabbed it from your nightstand.

“I don’t know how much of a club person I’m gonna be,” He warned you. “I don’t really dance.”

“Just because you don’t doesn’t mean you can’t,” You pointed out. “And you don’t really have to dance, I’m not expecting you to waltz. You just have to grind on me, and that I know you can do.”

He gave a conceding sigh. “Fine, I guess if it’s an excuse to dry hump you in public we can go.”

“Ever the romantic, Munson.”

The others were already ordering the first round when you got there, the bartender passing out shots until you reached the bar and Steve pushed two more toward you. “Took you guys long enough!” He called over the music.

“Can’t rush perfection, Harrington.” Grabbing the small glass, you passed the other one to Eddie. Knocking it back, you determined it was vodka and not tequila with a grateful nod to Robin. “Are we getting a table?”

“You two grab one, I wanna get another round!” Robin shouted back with enthusiasm.

Flashing her a thumbs up, you grabbed a hold of Eddie’s hand and ushered him toward a big, dimly lit corner booth. “There’s a lot ‘a people here,” He observed as you set your purse on the table.

“I don’t know what you mean.” Drawing him in with your arms around his neck, you hummed, “Just you ‘n me, as far as I’m concerned.”

He palmed at your ass through the silky black satin of your dress as he countered, “The things I’d do to you if it were just you ‘n me would get us arrested if I did them here, babe.”

“Alright, you guys can play grab-ass in a minute, we’re doing more shots!” Steve called as the three of them approached the table, all of them carrying at least one.

“No more for me, I’ve gotta take her home after all this.” Leaning over your shoulder, he prepared to push it back across the table to Steve but was stopped by your hand over his.

“Uh, excuse you. I can drink for two, thank you.” Holding his hands up in surrender, he raised his eyebrows, making a smile crack through your falsely offended expression. He didn’t blink as he watched you swallow down one shot after the other. A clear droplet escaped your mouth, rolling down your neck to disappear between the valley of your breasts and into your dress. He could so vividly imagine how it would taste to follow the intoxicating trail with his tongue.

His gaze was ripped from your chest by the snap of Steve’s fingers, who was giving him a knowing, playfully chastising look. “Could you keep it in your pants a little while longer, Munson?”

You were too engrossed in a conversation with Nancy to pay them any mind as he responded. “Shh, you’re gonna get me in trouble. And I’ll have you know, I have the patience of a saint,” He added unconvincingly.

That finally got your attention, making you let out a little snort. “Oh-kay, babe, if you say so.”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just c’mon, I’m ready to dance!”

“You mean you’ve drank enough to now?” He scoffed as you dragged him away from the table.

“Yep!” The music vibrated through the floors as you led him through the half-crowded dance floor. You weaved through the various friends, couples, and parties until you found a comfortable gap. Your boyfriend just chuckled and shook his head.

Turning to face him, you let your arms settle loosely around his neck once again as you moved to the music. His hands squeezed at your waist before moving lower to knead at the small of your back. The two of you eyed each other lovingly, with you brushing a few unruly strands of hair back from his face as he admired the hazy halo the lights cast around you. Before you could think of something to say to excuse your silent drooling, the sound of the next song beginning distracted you. The soft, deep thrum of guitars and bass had the faintest excited gasp escaping your lips. “I love this song!”

raven hair and ruby lips

sparks fly from her fingertips

echoed voices in the night

she’s a restless spirit on an endless flight

His hands held you steady as you bowed back ever so slightly, head tilting as you swayed in his arms. You slowly began to wind your hips in time with the music, silently mumbling the chorus. Eddie smiled softly, humming along as he watched your eyes fall closed.

woo-hoo, witchy woman

see how high she flies

woo-hoo, witchy woman

she got the moon in her eye

He caught you by surprise when he took both of your hands, spinning you and bringing his arms over your head to cross around your waist. You giggled and squealed quietly, tilting your head to look over your shoulder at him as your back pressed to his chest. “See, Munson, you’ve got moves!”

“As long as I still don’t have t’a dust off my waltz, I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve,” He promised.

 

she held me spellbound in the night

dancin’ shadows and firelight

crazy laughter in another room

and she drove herself to madness with a silver spoon

You could already feel him half-hard against you as you wound your hips more intently. Eddie’s fingers dragged up your fishnet-covered thighs, lifting the skirt of your dress dangerously high before moving to grab at your waist again. “Driving me fuckin’ crazy, baby. Know I love you so much, right?”

Head falling back against his chest, you gazed up at him with glossy eyes and a tipsy grin. “I love you too, Eds. Love you so much.” His hands wandered, rubbing over your sides and your stomach as his hips ground into you. Your own hand reached back to wind into his hair, curls growing frizzier in the warmth of the club. Goosebumps began to raise on your skin when he mouthed sloppily at your neck, teeth grazing a sensitive spot before lifting to tug at your earlobe. With the way the blood was rushing in his veins and his head was starting to swim, he may as well have been as drunk as you. The sweet smell of your perfume and the taste of your skin was still enough to make the room spin.

woo-hoo, witchy woman

see how high she flies

woo-hoo, witchy woman

she got the moon in her eye

Far be it from him to complain when you grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him in the direction of the bathroom before the song could even reach its instrumental break. You had never been so grateful for a single-person restroom in your life. Eddie hissed and laughed when you let the door slam shut, fingers clawing at the buttons of his shirt as he reached around you to lock it.

You only managed to get two of the buttons undone before his hand covered yours, pressing it against his chest to stop you as he chuckled softly. “Baby, baby– not here.”

Huffing, you pouted up at him. “Then why’d you let me bring you in here?”

“Well, it wasn’t to strip naked in a public bathroom,” He confirmed. Urging you backward, he didn’t stop until your lower back met the sink counter. “I do seem to remember a promise a certain someone made me a couple months ago, though.”

“Eddie,” You whine. Clutching at his shirt, you tried to draw his body to yours completely as he stood between your legs. “I don’t remember, just touch me. I’ll do whatever you want me to later, but–”

“Oh, I’m gonna need that in writing, babe. Right now, though, you just have to lean back and spread your legs f’me. Okay, sweet girl?”

Nodding, you were already sighing in relief when his hands guided your thighs back toward your chest. He peeled your panties to the side from underneath your fishnets, and it wasn’t until you felt his tongue drag through the wetness he found there that you finally remembered the oh-so-important promise you’d made. 

well, i know you want a lover; let me tell you, brother

she’s been sleepin’ in the devil’s bed

and there’s some rumors going ‘round, someone’s underground

she can rock you in the nighttime ‘til your skin turns red

You were already a mess, your dress bunched around your waist and straps falling off your shoulders. Your disheveled hair wouldn’t be so easy to fix, but it was clear to see you had little concern for what your fellow patrons would think. No, you were too focused on the feeling of Eddie sliding two fingers into you as his tongue ring massaged your clit.

If he were a responsible boyfriend, he would remind you to quiet down, but he just couldn’t help himself. He loved when you got drunk– loved when he could see the tension in your shoulders melt away and you got warm, and giggly, and loud– loved when you’d moan and gasp his name without even realizing you were doing it because the first and only thing you were thinking about was how good he made you feel. 

So, when you cried out that you were gonna come, he didn’t stop. He didn’t hush you, or cover your mouth with his hand. He just crooked his fingers to the spot he knew always made your insides melt and hummed encouragingly against the wet warmth of your cunt, mesmerized by the sight of you writhing on the counter before him.

Hips still twitching with the aftershocks of your orgasm, you pulled him to you for a sloppy kiss that had him panting like a dog in heat. The doe-eyed look you gave him when you finally spoke was almost enough to make him drop to his knees for you a second time. “Take me home, Eds.”

woo-hoo, witchy woman

see how high she flies

woo-hoo, witchy woman

she got the moon in her eye

<3

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#too much in common #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader smut #eddie munson x henderson!reader #eddie munson x henderson!reader smut #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x f!reader #eddie munson x f!reader smut #18+ mdni #asks

[hyunfilms]

blue side of the sky (lmh) | ten.

♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: waking up after 3 months with no recollection of your past, your friends do what they can to help you remember. except, they omit an important piece to the puzzle - afraid you would remember the heartbreak and hurt all over again.

—pairing: lee know x f. reader

—genre: (18+) exes to lovers, bestfriends to lovers au | fluff, angst, (eventual) smut

—word count: 5.5k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing/mature language, dancer lee know and dancer hyunjin (choreography video linked for inspo), implied jealousy, oc x minho are incredibly cute and share a lil dance moment heh, heated conversations/arguments, flashback at the end - lots and looots of crying/breaking down, jisung to the rescue 😔, worthy to note that this is an important chapter but it's not the only thing that occurred in their past..

—ON ROTATION: every kind of way - h.e.r | pray you catch me - beyoncé

"Uh, yeah. We'll start in about 5 minutes or so." You hear Minho's voice just as you turn the corner and arrive at the dance studio. You had closed up at the flower shop tonight, so you thought it would be the perfect time to watch Minho's class. He sent you the address and offered to come pick you up, but you told him you'd catch a ride over instead. Besides, his class would have been starting soon— you didn't want him to be late or missing for a class he was leading.

"You sure you're good?" San asks, just steps away from the studio. Minho catches sight of San escorting you near the door, and it instantly makes his heart sink.

So, San dropped you off.

Fucking great.

"Mhm. Thank you, Sannie." You look up at him with those eyes and it's so obvious San adores you. Who wouldn't?

"Let me know if you need me to pick you up? I'll be at the gym for awhile working out with a few friends."

"Okay." You wrap your arms around him and pull him in for a hug, and Minho has to divert this attention to something— anything— to prevent the irritation from increasing. "Hey." You tug on your bag strap as you walk in, already feeling a little out of place especially without any other familiar faces by your side.

"Hey." Minho gives you a tiny smile, brushing off his feelings about San. "You made it."

"I said I would. San was nice enough to drop me off."

"Yeah, I see." He clears his throat a bit.

"I'm definitely not dressed right." You nervously look down at your leggings and oversized crewneck before scanning the room again.

"It's alright." He lets out a small laugh. "You're just watching, anyway."

"Still." You chuckle and step inside, nearly hugging the wall with how many people are in attendance. You follow Minho to the far left corner in front of the room where you can peacefully watch without being in the way, setting your things down and taking a seat on the highchair.

"This gonna be okay for you? You can always move down if you think it's too loud or too crazy."

"Yeah, I'll be okay."

"Bathroom's just out the door and down to the left if you need it."

"Thanks."

"Don't make fun of me, okay?"

"I'll try not to." You chuckle as he starts to play his playlist, instructing for people to start stretching. It's nice to see Minho in this element because although you'd really like to remember this side of him, you can't. A few faces look your way with small smiles creeping up at the corner of their lips, making you wonder if they found you familiar. Surely, you'd been here with Jisung before— that's a given. 

When you look out at the center of the floor, Minho is talking to another individual. He's tall, with longer black hair nearly hitting his shoulders; a bucket hat on with a longsleeve and sweats. They look at you every now and then while Minho mutters something, followed by a nod from the unfamiliar individual. Then, he walks over to you, a small, toothless smile painted across his face.

"Hey Y/N, it's nice to see you."

"Hey." You say, doing a head tilt to observe him a little more.

"I'm Hyunjin. We've met when you used to visit before." His smile grows a bit. "It's nice to see your face again, glad to know you're doing well."

"Yeah, it's nice to see you too." You respond, unsure of how to move forward with Hyunjin. He seems nice though, and he seems fond of you.

"Hope you enjoy the class." He says once more before shutting off the music and calling attention from the class. They begin to explain what the choreography will be like for today— something quick, but fun and upbeat. Minho and Hyunjin start playing Bryson Tiller's On Top, demonstrating the choreo to the class. The class yells in excitement and it makes you smile, seeing how involved and supportive everyone gets. 

Class officially starts with Hyunjin and Minho breaking down the steps, allowing people to ask questions and get comfortable with the piece before practicing it a few times, then moving onto the next set. You even join in some laughs every now and then when Minho and Hyunjin start bickering, the rare moment Minho messes up his own choreography and catches himself with that look on his face.

He's cute. 

Very cute.

Especially, when he looks your way and throws a smile every now and then. You have to look away from time to time to stop yourself from feeling these feelings over your bestfriend because why did it feel so familiar, yet brand new? Situations like this can get awkward and weird quickly, but for you— it didn't feel that way at all.

It felt.. right. Like this is supposed to happen, like how things are supposed to unfold— somehow. 

After timeless practice and choreo clean up, the class is successfully dancing the piece flawlessly alongside with Minho and Hyunjin. Towards the end of class, they split them into different groups— allowing each group to do the piece together and freestyle a bit at the end. It's fun, and you love the atmosphere. You must've really enjoyed it back then. 

Too bad you aren't sure you could handle it anymore.

Once class is over, the class gathers their things and thank both Minho and Hyunjin for yet another fun piece. They wave and bid their farewells, with Hyunjin shortly following behind. He yells a quick goodbye to you with a wave, greeting Minho on his way out.

"How was it?" Minho brushes his hair back and throws his cap back on, sweat still dripping down his forehead profusely. He's trying to gather his breath as he walks towards you, wiping away at his forehead and neck.

"You looked really good out there." You smile. "You looked like you were having fun."

"That's good, right?"

"Pretty cool, I'd say." 

"Nice. At least you think so." You laugh.

"Did I use to come to class before?"

"Uh, yeah." Minho nods. "With Jisung. Chan and Seungmin would join too if they had time and were up for it."

"Sounds fun, and it looks really fun. I just don't think I could dance like that again. Wish I could."

"You can." You raise a brow. "Here." Minho holds his hand out for you to take. You give him a small smile before grabbing his hand, letting him lead you to the middle of the studio. "I'll teach you something simple, okay?" You chuckle.

"I-I don't know, Min."

"Trust me. You'll be okay. I promise."

"Okay, but don't laugh at me in the process. I'm probably very rusty and bad at this."

"Never." He smiles. "Alright." He says, standing next to you. He starts to show you the first 8-count, slowly guiding you through every step—patiently. He rehearses with you time and time again before teaching you another 8-count. It's a little more complex than the first set, but not anything incredibly difficult. You have to pause and ask Minho to repeat himself a bit, shyly laughing and apologizing at how many times you need to see him demonstrate. He makes you feel comfortable with the way he laughs along and tells you it's okay, reassuring that you're doing well— that you're hitting every step perfectly. Then, there's the other side that makes you incredibly shy and reserved again, especially when he asks you to do it for him while he watches. He finds it adorable how you cover your face and tell him 'no' repeatedly, only to finally be encouraged to step out of your comfort zone and do the steps on your own.

You feel good.

This feels different, but good.

But, at one point, you stumble on your own feet— causing you to trip. He catches you before you could take a nasty fall, holding onto your waist just as you slowly turn to look at him. He looks you in the eye and gives you a soft smile before helping you adjust your position.

"Woah." He laughs. "I got you. Are you okay?" He subconsciously brushes the hair away from your face and you feel the heat rise to your cheeks, unsure of where the sudden action came from.

"I am." You look up at him with those eyes. "Thank you." He chuckles as he lets you step aside and brush yourself down.

"Mhm. How about we do it one more time then call it a night?" You laugh.

"That sounds good with me." He starts to play Every Kind of Way by H.E.R, showing you the steps to the song before having you practice along with him to the beat. Sooner or later, you're doing the steps alongside of Minho for a couple of times before he praises you and calls it a night, just to make sure it doesn't overwork you and put too much on your body.

"You did really well, Y/N. See, I told you you'd be great."

"You're just saying that."

"No, I mean it." He looks at you and smiles. "How do you feel?"

"Tired? But, good. It was simple, and not too much."

"Good. You're a natural, anyway. My words don't mean shit." You laugh.

"You're the instructor here, of course they do." You give him a playful punch on the bicep. "Thanks for this. I really enjoyed it."

"Yeah?" He smiles. "That's good. Hope that means you'll be back to watch more."

"Yeah, I will." You grab your things as Minho continues to clean up around the studio. "I'll probably get a good sleep tonight."

"As you should." He grabs his keys as he takes a swig of water. "Ready to go? Wanna grab something on the way home?"

"I'm okay. Uncle Adrian made some food and stashed some away for me." You smile. "Thank you, though."

"Course. Let's go then, princess." You look up at him as he walks ahead, subtly biting your lip at the pet name. It rolls off his tongue so smoothly, it almost seems like this was a typical nickname for you— from him. 

During the ride home, you feel at ease with Minho to the point where it's a little sad you'll be leaving him soon. You've longed for his company for quite some time. Now that you finally have it, you don't really want to let go of it. He makes you laugh on the way home, cracking these jokes and showing off his dad humor to the fullest. Even though some of the jokes can be incredibly cringy to him, he loves hearing you laugh and giggle. He also loves the way you smile at him, the way your eyes sparkle every time you talk to him.

You're just beautiful.

You are love.

He hates that you have to part ways.

"Well." He parks the car in front of the house and looks at you. "Time for you to get some rest."

"Thanks again for today. I enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun." You smile at him and give him a small pinch on his arm. "I'll come by again."

"Good." He chuckles. "Have a good night, Y/N. Rest well."

"You too." You give him one last look and a wave before walking off. After watching you walk through the side door to get to your humble abode, Minho drives off to his next destination. He's in a good mood, but at the same time, he's not looking forward to his next interaction.

He knows he has to do this.

It needs to happen.

He parks his car in an open spot on the street, sighing to himself as he gathers his things and hops out the car. He's punching in the code to the lobby door before flying up the two flights of stairs. He heads down the familiar hallway, knocking on the door and anxiously standing aside as he waits for a response.

"Hey." Minho says as he stands in front of the door, watching as Kat smirks and tries to wrap her arms around him. He steps back though, and she confusingly looks at him when he gently pushes her arms back. "Sorry, I'm just here to talk. Do you have a quick minute?"

"Uh, yeah. I guess?" She says, gently closing the door behind her and stepping outside into the hallway. "What's up?" She crosses her arms as she eyes him up and down. Minho can tell she already knows where this is going, and there's really no way of sugarcoating the situation anyway.

It needs to happen.

Minho needs things to change.

"I, um—" Minho swallows the lump in his throat. He's just not good with this stuff in general, so he struggles. But, he manages to spit out the important part of this, which is: "—I don't think we should continue seeing each other anymore." She doesn't say anything for a moment to process whatever the fuck he just said, and the next response that comes out of her mouth is a pathetic little chuckle. Minho awkwardly shifts his weight from his left foot to his right foot, digging his hands into his pockets. 

"Of course." Her voice breaks off a bit towards the end of her response. 

"I'm sorry. I think you already knew where this was going though. I'm not sure what else to tell you." He probably looks even more like an asshole right now, especially with the way his expression doesn't really change; he's not doing much to explain, nor is he even trying with her in the first place. "This needed to happen."

"This needed to happen." She repeats as she crosses her arms and tears begin to fall down. She looks away to make it less obvious that she's starting to cry, but Minho catches on. She's hurt. Why wouldn't she be? He's a complete dick, and he has no one else to blame but himself for letting it get this far.

For ever letting it get this far.

"I'm sorry, Kat." He repeats because he doesn't know what else to do.

"Save it." She finally looks at him. "So, I was right." Minho just stupidly shrugs. "What's new, Minho? I don't know why I thought this time would be different."

"Kat." Minho lets out a sigh and shakes his head. "You and I both know we wouldn't work." He sighs again because truthfully, he did think they could at one point. He did try. He liked her.

But, he couldn't take it any further. It was just.. that.

"Okay, and then.. what? You're just gonna continue on with your sick little game and keep making her think that things are okay between you two? That your history is all pristine and angelic? Like you were always so fucking loyal—" Minho furrows his brows and lets out a little chuckle before shaking his head.

"We're not going there. Whatever goes on with Y/N, however this turns out— it doesn't concern you. As far as I know, it never did. At the end of the day, she's still my bestfriend and I need to prioritize her."

"Of course you do. That's your way of prioritizing her?" She rolls her eyes. "Goodluck with that Minho. She's gonna realize how much of a dick you actually are and want nothing to do with you." She gives him one last look before she's slamming the door in his face.

"I'm sorry." He repeats softly before turning on his heel and heading back down the hallway. He lets out a shaky breath of relief mixed with confusion, unsure of how to feel about everything because again— he's no good at this. And Kat is right, in a sense. You are eventually going to find out about all this shit, about how much of an asshole he was. Then, what? Would you want nothing to do with him? Would you stay away and keep your distance?

He's so dumb.

Why did he have to go and make all of this so fucking complicated? Now, he feels even worse. Because even if this page is closed, he still feels like he'll lose you.

And that's his fault.

Minho plops into the driver's seat, tempted to call you and ask if you've gotten settled at home. But, he stares at his phone screen for a good minute before he's shaking his head and setting his phone back down onto the middle console.

He should give you some breathing room. 

With that, he takes the drive home, letting the music in the background fill the emptiness. He's not sure if he has an appetite for anything. He'll probably drink some tea when he gets home and hop in the shower before laying in bed; staring mindlessly at the ceiling. Eventually, his thoughts will travel down memory lane, then they'll fix on you. Sooner or later, he'll find he only gets an hour or two of sleep [if he's lucky] before he needs to tackle another day.

Surprisingly when he arrives home, he doesn't see Chan or Seungmin's car out front. It's not uncommon for Chan to be home late, but Seungmin? He knows that boy would never miss an opportunity to hop in bed early. He sighs as he steps inside— tossing his shoes and keys aside before waddling into the kitchen to heat up some water. He can hear Jisung clicking away at his keyboard while throwing f-bombs and other curse words at his computer screen. Minho continues to dig around to see what's around and in the fridge, but still— he doesn't find himself getting hungry for anything.  

Once his water is done heating, he pours it into a mug and steeps his tea approximately for 4 minutes. He heads up the steps with his mug in hand, placing it down along with his things on his bedroom floor before walking to Jisung's room.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Jisung's yelling turns into a whine. He kicks his head back onto his computer chair before letting out a deep sigh, body slumped into the chair.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Just played such a shitty round." Jisung sighs.

"Where's Chan and Seungmo?"

"Chan's at the studio, and Seungmin's cousins are in town so he's out with them."

"Surprised he's out."

"Yeah, well." Jisung shrugs. "They don't come often." He turns to look at Minho. "How was Y/N during class today?"

"Uh, good." Minho shrugs a bit and chuckles. "I taught her something easy and slow afterwards. Then, I brought her home."

"Hm." Jisung hums as he eyes his bestfriend. Minho does that thing he does when he's trying to hide something [even though he's terrible at it in the first place]. He looks down at the floor and subtly bites on his bottom lip to prevent himself from smiling. "Okay, what is it?"

"Huh?" Minho chuckles a bit. "Nothing."

"Nothing?" Jisung repeats, already suspicious. 

"It was just a good class?"

"All of a sudden? Cause Y/N was there?"

"I didn't even say anything like that—" All of a sudden, Minho can tell Jisung is angry. Especially with the way he cuts him off and stands from his seat.

"What the hell are you trying to do here, dude?" Jisung angrily looks at him, and Minho knew this was coming one way or another. He knew it'd happen soon. 

He just didn't think it would be today. But alas, here we are.

Fuck.

"Okay, relax. I didn't even say anything. Classes are chill regardless." He repeats as he looks at Jisung, matching his energy. "Why are you getting angry?"

"Because! I told you. Don't do this. Don't make it harder on her. I asked for one thing from you and you couldn't even do that." Jisung spits back. 

"No one is doing anything! I let her watch class and I taught her something. Big fucking whoop."

"Right. You took her home after."

"And?"

"And? Don't act stupid."

"What do you want from me?" Minho pathetically laughs.

"I know you. I've known you for years and I know the way you get with Y/N. You're trying again, aren't you?"

"Because she fucking came to class and we hung out for a bit?" Minho rolls his eyes, then shakes his head. "Besides— even if I was, what is it to you?"

"What is it to me? You're joking, right?" Jisung pauses. "Have you forgotten about all the shit you pulled with Y/N?"

"Stop acting like I have because I haven't! Thanks to your wonderful ass reminders." Minho's tone raises a bit, and he adds a bit of sarcasm to his statement. "You can't come at me for being the only one in the wrong here when you're hiding all of this from her. If you were really worried about her, you should've came clean from the beginning."

"Oh, please. You have no idea what it was like to fucking see her crying over you!" Jisung yells back. "That's why I do it! You weren't there to comfort her and console her for days, Minho! Why? Because of all that shit with Kat! I know I can't protect her from everything but I'll be damned if I let history repeat itself. So, yeah, you might be right in a sense— maybe I should've told her from the beginning so she wouldn't have these expectations. But I thought of you, too. I didn't think you'd want to lose her that way either." 

"She's my bestfriend, too."

"Stop using that excuse. It's played out and it's old. You haven't treated her like that even after the accident happened. Get a fucking grip." Jisung lets out a small groan. "You know what she's been through, you know what you've done— yet, you're trying because she doesn't remember. You're so incredibly selfish." Jisung shakes his head. "Whatever though, you do you. If this gets all twisted and blown up at the wrong time, I'm putting that on you." Minho clenches his jaw for a moment while he looks at Jisung, but Jisung doesn't look like he's going to give this up anytime soon. 

So, Minho lets out a sigh before shrugging. "I made some stupid mistakes and I know I still do. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I started this mess and I'm sorry you had to see that because of me."

"Yeah, you should be. I don't know what I'll do if I see her hurt again, so please don't fuck this up any more than you already have. "Jisung sighs. He's upset, so he's saying whatever comes to mind first. But, the words hit Minho quick before Jisung can even apologize— cutting new, fresh wounds hearing his own bestfriend talk to him that way. 

"I'll say it one more time before I let this go. I know I fucked up, but I'm your bestfriend too. Sometimes, it'd be a little nice if you cut me some slack. I'm learning from my mistakes and I'm trying to do better. It doesn't happen overnight but I'm not completely hopeless, you know?" Minho turns towards his room and shuts the door, causing Jisung to groan into his hands.

"Fuck."

☁︎ FLASHBACK | SENIOR YEAR IN COLLEGE

It hadn't been too long before Minho was texting you, letting you know he was outside. You smiled to yourself and grabbed your jacket— tossing it on before shutting your door behind you. You waved when you saw his car, but you were quick to notice how unhappy Minho seemed in his car. He had his hood over his head, sitting in the driver's seat with a blank expression. You were excited to see him, but that faded once you realized he wasn't feeling the same way you were.

"Hey." You say softly as you step into the passenger's seat. "You okay?" He lets out a shaky breath before giving you a tiny, pursed smile.

"Yeah. Is it okay if we go for a quick drive somewhere?"

"Of course." You sit in the seat, uncomfortable with all the anxiety bubbling up in your stomach. Everything about Minho— his body language, his tone— says that things aren't okay, and you aren't sure if you're ready for what's about to happen.

Even though, you have an idea where this is going. Judging by how disconnected he's been from you lately.

Minho pulls up to a trail, lining the lake nearby campus. You and your friends have been here before, so it wasn't unfamiliar to you. What is unfamiliar is this Minho, how silent and cryptic he's being— how he's avoiding eye contact as much as possible.

But, he finally speaks. Even though it's a lousy:

"We should talk."

"Um, yeah. I think so. What's on your mind?" He sighs, but he still isn't making much eye contact with you even as you turn in your seat to face him. The silence is lethal, and you wish he would just come out and say it.

Why hold it off when it's clear where this is going?

"Babe." You say softly. "Babe, what is it, just—"

"I think we should break up." He finally looks at you, even when he doesn't feel enough courage to. There are tears lining his bottom lids, but they don't spill. He looks out the window again, finger brushing against his lip as he waits for your response.

The main reason why he immediately breaks eye contact is because he knows you'll cry. And you do. He hears you sniffing in the passenger seat, and he hears you holding back the sobs, the sounds that threaten to leave your throat. 

He hates this, but he thinks this needed to happen.

"Why?"

"Don't you think we should? Look at us. We've just been fighting lately. We've been distant. One moment, we're okay and then the next, we aren't. It's been a cycle and I know you're tired of it just as much as I am."

"No, you don't speak for me. I would never be tired of this. I wouldn't look at us as some kind of chore, Minho." Your tone raises a bit.

"See, that's what I'm talking about!"

"No, you don't know what the hell you're talking about! Because if you did, you'd sit through this tough phase with me and work it out instead of finding the easy way out." Silence. "All these years and you think this is how we go about it?" You scoff. "Why don't you be honest and tell me what the real reason is."

"That's the reason."

"It's not. It's Kat, isn't it?" Silence again. And this time, it shatters you— breaks you into bits and pieces more than you can imagine. Because even though he isn't saying anything, the silence is telling. "Please just tell me the truth." You say close to a whisper, your cries becoming heavier when reality starts to settle in.

This was it.

He was done.

Where did you go wrong?

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I just think it's the right thing to do." He isn't answering the question, and you don't know if that makes it worse.

Scratch that, it does.

He can't even tell you the truth.

"How long has it been?"

"What?" He looks at you again.

"How long has it been, Minho? With Kat. How long have you liked her?" He sighs and shrugs.

"I don't know? A couple of weeks or so?" It's fitting, the timeline is fitting. It could be close to a month when Minho has been distant. He tried, thinking this was all a silly little phase, a stupid infatuation. But it wasn't, and now he's to the point where he's too curious and can't even focus on fixing his relationship with you.

Such a shame, you think.

You tried to think of all the signs that you missed. The parties that he had gone to recently without you there, the small conversations in the library, the random texts. Hanging out with people on campus that he normally wasn't around. Jisung questioned it too, but didn't think too much of it.

Fuck. You are so stupid.

All these years and it wasn't enough— you weren't enough.

"I should've—" You pause as you start to cry into your hands. "Where did things even go wrong— I—"

"Y/N, please don't do that. We've just run our course and I think we have to accept—"

"Don't. You chose, we didn't just run our course." You groan. "I'm so stupid." A few tears drop when he continues to hear you sob in the seat next to him, but he quickly wipes it away and starts the car. He's just unsure of what else to do or say at this point. 

He's no good at this.

"I'm sorry." He says softly. "I'll take you back home, alright?" You don't say a word because you're exhausted from all of this already. Everything was wrong, everything felt wrong, uncomfortable, awkward. You hated this, and as much as you wanted to try and work this out—

There was nothing to work out.

You couldn't change his mind. He was set on it. 

You just wanted to get home.

And when you do finally get back, you simply unbuckle the seatbelt and swing the door open even as Minho calls for your name one last time with a pathetic 'please.' You don't even know if he said anything else, you don't care enough to figure it out. You just needed to get away from him.

As soon as you step back into your room, you feel yourself getting more lightheaded and sick to your stomach. You sit on the floor, back pressed against your cabinet as you shakily pressed Jisung's number on your phone. It rings twice before he's picking up, saying his hello's as brightly as he always does.

"Cielo! Yo! What's up?" You can't even get the words out. Instead, you let out a breath before you're silently sobbing into the phone. It's easy for Jisung to tell. Besides hearing your light whimpers, you haven't said anything since he picked up the call. His heart drops as he stops what he's doing and immediately begins to grab at his keys. "Hey, cielo. What's going on?"

"J-Jisung." You stutter in between cries. "Can you come over please?"

"I'm already hopping into my car." He says as dashes to his car, shutting the door and starting it up. "I'll be there really soon, okay? I'll be there." He repeats.

"Okay." You end the call and wipe away at your face. You tuck your knees to your chest, silently weeping as you wait for your bestfriend to arrive. Minho's words continue to repeat in your head, and you feel what's left of you slowly crumble into pieces. 

He wanted to see other people.

He didn't want this anymore.

He didn't want you anymore.

You try to rewind and think about every single moment you had shared with Minho— wondering where you went wrong and where you could've done better. None of this was your fault, but at the same time, everything felt like your fault.

Where could you have gone wrong?

"Cielo?" Through your silent cries, you hear Jisung scrambling outside of your door. He quickly shoves his shoes aside and swings the door open, his heart instantly dropping when he sees you crying on the floor. "Y/N, what's going on?" He worriedly asks as he drops down next to you, pulling you into his arms.

"He broke up with me."

"Minho?" Jisung furrows his brows, the anger rising within him. He knew Minho had been acting a little weird and distant lately, but he didn't think much of it. Maybe he should've, then he could've talked to him about what was going on in his mind. Find better ways to handle this.

But, you can never change someone's mind once they're set on it.

"It's Kat. He didn't say it, but I know it's her." Jisung sighs. Of course. It makes a little more sense. No wonder Kat had been around him a little more.  No wonder he seemed disconnected.

"I'm so sorry." He whispers onto your head as he continues to hold you close, letting you drench his shirt with your tears. "I'm so sorry he did this." He repeats. "Swear I'll kill him."

"No." You softly respond. "Don't."

"I hate that he hurt you." 

"H-He must really like her, doesn't he?" You pull back to look at Jisung and his heart shatters seeing you like this. The last time he's seen you this torn up was when your mom passed.

He knows you are hurting.

You hurt, and you hurt.

"I don't know, Y/N. I wish I knew more about this, but I'm in the dark as much as you are."

"He doesn't want me." Jisung lets out a breath before pulling you back towards him. "What did I do wrong?"

"Don't say that. Don't ever question yourself. None of this was your fault. He'll realize what a dumb fucking mistake this was." He rubs your arm. "He let go of someone great and that is his biggest loss."

"Jisung." You cry even harder and Jisung has no idea what else he could possibly do to alleviate the pain. He wishes he could take this way from you. "This hurts." You repeat. "This hurts so bad. Why didn't any of this matter to him? This hurts." You go on.

"I know. I'm sorry Y/N. I'm here." He hugs you tighter and rests his chin on the top of your head. "I'm here. We're gonna get you through this. You have me."

☁︎ END

⇢ read jisung's thoughts in 10.5: [cloudy days] here

♡ taglist: @ppiri-bahng @jihanlovic @meloncremesoda @sweetlikecherry @hoes4lino @skzddicted @skzho @edgaralienpoe @harui-zen @bestleeknowstan @havenwithleeknow @septicrebel @heesdazed @borahae-reads @yoontaethings @pearbunny @bintificreads @lukeys-giggle @ajxreads @everglowdaisies @allaboutsan @endzii23 @leeknowsramen @heres-your-ramen2000 @morningstardada @mal-lunar-28 @downbadreading @lilysophie @feelikecinderella @urmomma0324 @ddazed-lhs @djeniryuu @melanctton @i8rsie @maru-matt @sleepyleeji @taerifin @nattisbored @jisunglyricist @m111nho @drhsthl @nixtape-foryou @arminseas @guiltycoco @syuuji @sulkygyu @cadihyo @reianagarcia @leeknowyah @smndjdufuehr @dprkbyn @xxibreinaxx @mxnsxngie [bold = can’t tag 🥺]

#lee know series #lee know fanfic #lee know fanfiction #kpop fanfiction #lee know x reader #lee minho x reader #stray kids series #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids x reader #lee know angst #lee know smut #lee know fluff #lee minho angst #lee minho fluff #lee minho smut #hyunfilms: blue side of the sky

[greatooglymooglyyy]

Say Goodbye Part IV (Chris Sturniolo)

part 1, part 2, part 3 , full masterlist

contains: friendship issues, pining, hurt feelings, 1.1k words

a/n: sjsjdjdn FINALLY HUH? okay so i hope y'all aren't too mad at me for the wait. cus i love y'all. but this series has 2 more parts and then i'ma wrap it up.

“What do you want?”

“Roll down the window!” I say back, adopting his same stern tone. Matt huffs out a sigh of frustration but does what I asked.

“I really don’t wanna hear your excuses right now, bro.” He grinds out, his eyes drifting over my shoulder like he can’t be bothered to look at me.

“Good, because I wasn’t going to give you any.” I reach in and grab his phone from where it’s resting on his leg and pause the music before dropping it back down. “There’s no excuse for how I treated you. You’re not an extension of Chris. I should have had a conversation with you. I owed you that.”

“Fucking right, you did-”

I cut in before he can get too self-righteous, needing to make my point. “But tell me the truth. How many of those times you called me were for Chris’ benefit? Tell me you wouldn’t have tried to convince me to take him back.”

The hard lines of his face begin to crack a bit as guilt settles in. “He’s my brother.”

“Exactly!” I say, reaching out and touching his shoulder. “But I was already on unsteady ground. Reminders of how much Chris was hurting would have crumbled me.”

Matt closes his eyes and, after a second, nods like he understands. “When you guys started dating, we said no matter what there would always be a me and you.” He says, his voice is small and unsure.

“I know. This time let’s mean it.” I suggest with a small smile, extending my hand.

He looks down at it and grins before bringing his own hand up and doing the secret handshake we made at seven.

“Me and you, kid.”

*********************************************************

Somehow I knew when I stumbled into the kitchen to find the three of them there, I would find myself on a road trip.

As soon as we had gotten back inside, Chris suggested that we head up to Maine for the boardwalk.

Surprising no one, Chris had refused his regular seat in the front to join me in the third row after we picked up Nate and Leah. It had been easy to forget the last year for those couple of hours. It was easy to forget all my problems with my legs thrown over his lap and him giving me a carefree smile.

But when we finally park and scramble out, Leah gives me a look like her eyes are about to pop out of her head and it all comes crashing down. I’m supposed to be holding this boy at arm’s length. I decide to stick close to her for the rest of the day, pulling her towards the beach when the boys want to go explore the games.

We pick a good spot to lounge and set up our towels but just when I think Leah and I can hide away for the day, Matt and Chris jog over.

“Do you want to go paddle boating?” Matt asks Leah, knowing good and well how scared I am of going too far into the ocean. Leah on the other hand loves it and hesitates, looking over at me. I sigh and nod her off, not missing the subtle blush that spills over her face when Matt helps her up.

“So I guess it’s just me and you huh?” Chris says with faux innocence. I roll my eyes but can’t help but smile at the way he flops down beside me.

“It looks that way. Where are Nick and Nate?” I ask, sitting up to look around for them.

“They made some kind of dumb bet about who can win the most tickets in the arcade.”

I smile and nod. It sounds about right. “I’m surprised you’re not right there with them.”

He grins and I can tell I set him up to say something beyond corny. “I got my eyes on a different prize.”

I groan and cover my face in embarrassment while he bursts into laughter. “Get the fuck out of here,” I mumble.

“Come on.” He says, sitting up. “Let’s ride the Ferris wheel.”

*********************************************************

“I don’t like that this bitch swings,” I grumble, holding on tight to Chris’ arm as the Ferris wheel begins turning.

He pulls his arm away from me and slings it over my shoulder instead. “Yeah, it’s not my favorite thing. But I like the view.”

I force myself to open my eyes and see that he’s absolutely right. From up here the water is so blue and pretty, stretching out and giving the illusion it goes on forever.

Excitedly, I turn back to Chris and find him watching me with a contented smile. The look in his eyes makes me so weak in the knees that I’m glad we’re sitting down.

I’m torn out of the moment by cheering and clapping and we look over the bar to see an adorable couple who just got engaged. I grin and join the celebration, whistling.

Chris turns back to me and nods at them. “This how you want yours to go down?”

“Oh fuck no,” I answer quickly. “Public proposals terrify me. I will literally kill you-” As soon as I say it, I realize my slip and snap my mouth shut but it’s too late.

“Me, huh?” He’s cheesing but not as cocky as I expected. He pulls me into his side and I lay my head on his shoulder with a sigh.

We stay that way for the rest of the ride, feeling the gentle breeze on our faces and becoming unable to stop scooting closer.

When it’s over, we decide to head toward the gift shops. On our way over to the pier, Chris reaches down to hold my hand but I pull away, shooting him a stare.

“What? I can’t hold your hand?” He asks, a little irritated.

“It’s not very friendly,” I answer, stressing the word.

“Cool.” He reaches down and takes my hand anyway. “I already told you, I’m not your friend.”

I let it go as we enter the shop and begin to look around. We go our separate ways as I try on sunglasses and he searches for some new shirts.

But when I turn around to ask his opinion, he’s surrounded by a group of girls a bit younger than us. He’s smiling as he takes selfies one by one, clearly used to this.

One of the girls notices me staring over and nudges her friend. “Isn’t that the girl we saw you with? Is that your girlfriend?”

He barely looks up and laughs. “Nah. Childhood friend.” The girls turn away giggling, one placing a hand on his arm casually.

I do what I do best and push down any hint of hurt on my face, putting the sunglasses down and walking out of the shop. I can't believe I keep letting myself forget the reason I walked away in the first place.

I'm half way down the pier when Chris catches up to me, breathing hard. "Why'd you leave?" I give him a look of disbelief, studying his face. He really doesn't see the issue and that's our biggest problem.

"No reason, Chris."

"Are you really mad that I took a couple of pictures with fans?" He says, reaching out and grabbing my arm to stop me from walking. I look down at his hand with my eyebrows raised and he removes it. "It's my job."

I give him as bright a smile as I can manage. "Who said I was mad, Chris?" I turn and continue walking to the beach, spotting the rest of our group chilling near the water.

For the rest of the day, Chris tries to get my attention and bring back the mood but I dodge him, sticking close to Leah. When it's time to go, I ask Nate if I can take the passenger's seat and catch up with Matt.

Through the rearview mirror, I catch a look of hurt flash over Chris' face but I refuse to let it affect me. I made a promise to myself on that pier and I'm going to keep it. I'm done letting Christopher Sturniolo disappoint me.

🏷️/ @sturniolho @sttzee @tillies33ssss @miloisdone1 @sstvrnioloo @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloslurps @mrsmiagreer @asturniolos

@teapartyprincess4two @whicked-hazlatwhore @sukiipjs @accio326 @sturniolosmind @imfromthediningtable @rootbeerworshiper @st4rswrld

#sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #maggie b talks too much #sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo #chris sturniolo angst #chris sturniolo headcanon #matt sturniolo angst #chris sturniolo oneshot #chris sturniolo fic #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo headcanon #nicolas sturniolo #maggie b writes #sturniolo angst #sturniolo fanfic

[one-squash-one-end]

I wrote a giant Raven Cycle analysis

Hi! Over the last year or so I've been working on a sort of essay about various themes in the raven cycle series, and I finally finished it a few weeks ago.

It is titled: "Why I love The Raven Cycle - An excessive analysis of the themes of friendship, queerness and growing up".

And since tumblr loves its meta (and bc I love peer validation) I've decided to start uploading it bit by bit here, making this the masterpost (if I can figure out the logistics of the linking lmao, bear with me)

(beware of spoilers up to greywaren starting at like 3b!)

Introduction

What even is the Raven Cycle?

Trust me, the characters are queer as fuck and I can prove it a) Blue Sargent b) Gansey c) Adam Parrish d) Ronan Lynch e) Noah f) Henry Cheng g) Honorary mentions

The Gangsey is a polycule

Analyzing the reoccurring themes a) Friendship b) Being a teen/growing up c) (Found) Family d) Magic (as a metaphor) e) Further themes I appreciate

Drawing a conclusion

Click here to start with the introductory parts!

1. Introduction

So here’s the thing: I love fiction almost as much as I love my friends. There’s something deeply comforting about the escapism, even if the book actually makes me want to scream and throw it on the floor (only one book has been thrown so far, I promise!).  Fiction is a healthy thing to occupy my thoughts with: headcanons! Quotes being on loop in my brain! Just fandoms!

And for me, if I am hooked on a book (series), it does not even need a good plot where a lot of things happen. In fact, I would say that my enjoyment of a book is made up of 30% plot and about 70% characters and vibes. If the characters are bland, if they do not make me feel much emotion, it likely won’t be more than 4 stars (additional info: I am way too nice rating books!). I really, really need to love the characters, to be able to relate to some aspects of them, or it just won’t become an obsession.

Since I have already started explaining that a bit, let’s look at this question: What is important to make a book special to me? 1. I need to cry reading it. 2. I have to think about it often, even weeks to months after having read it. 3. Obviously, I need to love the characters. 4. I need to be in the fandom! This can be hard with some books, but the internet is a whimsical space allowing you to find at least a small number of people who are obsessed with a work of fiction to a similar extent as you are.

Now, why am I elaborating on this so much? It’s because The Raven Cycle did all that for me. It is my favorite comfort book series at the moment, for all those aspects mentioned, but of course I cannot just leave it at that. No, I wrote a whole-ass analysis on headcanons and some of its themes. You’re welcome.

2. What even is The Raven Cycle?

The Raven Cycle is all I adore and live for (next to my friends). So, naturally, it’s a book series, specifically a four book young adult contemporary fantasy series by American author Maggie Stiefvater. The books in question are: The Raven Boys (2012), The Dream Thieves (2013), Blue Lily, Lily Blue (2014) and The Raven King (2016), and yes I will admit that the publishing dates are a bit of a red flag. There is also the very relevant follow-up series called The Dreamer Trilogy (Call Down The Hawk, Mister Impossible, Greywaren), but it’s a lot less easy to get into that here as I do not know these entire books by heart, so I’ll stick to the original tetralogy here.

To stick to red flags, the books are set in the fictional Henrietta, a rural town in non-fictional Virginia, US, in the 2010s. However, that doesn’t really say *that* much about the plot, so let me summarize that really quick, because I can do better than the official synopsis! (Or let’s pretend I can.)

Blue Sargent comes from a family of psychics, yet she does not have any powers of her own. Even worse, she is a bit of an amplifier for the others, meaning she is always somehow but never directly involved in the business. As if that isn’t enough for an identity crisis, every psychic she has ever met has told her that her kiss would kill her true love. Yikes.

But because she is that amplifier, she comes to a church watch on St. Mark’s Eve, where psychics see the spirits of those to die within the following year. It’s important business, but to her it’s really just staring into the dark. Until she does actually see a spirit: That of Gansey. Of course this is not a coincidence. No, to add to this teen’s mount of problems, there are only two reasons why a non-seer would see someone’s spirit: They are their true love, or they killed them. Or, in Blue’s case, maybe both.

The aforementioned Gansey is Henrietta’s Golden Boy, the son of politicians (read: he’s fucking loaded). He does not run with the Republicans though, he runs with dead Welsh kings, meaning he has been searching for the probably dead, presumably sleeping Welsh king Glendower (*1350; †1416; yikes) for the past like seven years. Why the fuck would he do that? Well, legend says that he will grant a wish to whoever wakes him, and our favorite PTSD-ridden guy really wants that favor.

Aiding him are fellow Aglionby students Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch and Noah Czerny, plus Henry Cheng, though only a lot later in the series, but I really did not want to leave out that menace (affectionately) here. The paths of Blue and the boys cross because of Gansey’s search for Glendower, plus the fact that Blue works at a popular pizza place, but that’s a lot less whimsical. And, well, there’s the implication that Gansey might also be her true love, but perhaps she just kills him because of his bad fashion sense, it would be justified. Anyway, in true Famous Five fashion (Ronan is the dog; I won’t elaborate, the girls that get it, get it) they are of course not the only ones searching for the king, so it’s not completely a wholesome friend bonding activity all the way through.

Be prepared for: friendship and growing up, lots of treasure hunting, family mysteries, magical forests, illegal and slightly distasteful activities (our favorite of course), but most of all, heavily queer-coded (or even canonically queer) characters. Be Gay, Do Crime.

#y'all better like this it took a while #trc #the raven cycle #gansey #blue sargent #ronan lynch #adam parrish #noah czerny #henry cheng #the raven king #the raven boys #blue lily lily blue #the dream thieves #let's hope i don't forget about this after the first part #please talk to me about your thoughts

[fandoms-writings]

Masterpiece

Part 1 | Part 2

Pairing: bartender!bucky x college!reader (age gap of 10-ish years)

Word count: a little over 8K (sorryyyyyyy)

Summary: you’ve been dating Bucky for a few months now, and it’s your final art show before you graduate, and he’s excited to see your final piece.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI Bucky (he needs his own warning in this one), pet names (sugar, baby, sir, daddy), alcohol and weed consumption, tiny bit of self doubt from Bucky but it doesn’t last long, he’s head over heels guys, smut at the end, like, detailed smut. If you don’t wish to read it, I’ve put a divider where it starts 😌 fingering, oral (f receiving), Bucky talks a lot in bed, unprotected sex (protect yourself irl please)

A/N: this is my first time like really writing smut so please bare with me but i hope you love it 🫶🏼

If you enjoy the story, please consider supporting me on my Ko-fi <3

Series Masterlist || Bucky Masterlist || Main Masterpost

Bucky adjusted the cuff of his sleeve around his wrist, fidgeting with the fabric as he glanced at the clock for the thousandth time in the past hour. 

He was meeting you at the final art show of your school before summer -it was your final show. You were graduating in just a couple weeks and he wanted to be by your side for all of it if you'd let him.

Though he didn't know anything about art - other than the fact that he loved watching you paint. You got this look on your face when you were focused and it was as if you were oblivious to anything else going on around you. The way your brows would just slightly crease in the middle as your eyes locked on to the colors you were working with or the canvas set on the easel. Sometimes the tip of your tongue would prod at your bottom lip or at the inside of your cheek while you decided what little details needed more of your attention. 

There had been countless nights of you working on your final pieces for this exhibit being put together by your professor where Bucky got the opportunity to keep you company. You liked to paint in the bar while he worked, using the paints he'd gotten for you for Christmas. He'd come around to the corner that everyone knew was now yours where he'd make you take a much needed break, usually getting you to listen if he had a small plate of food from Sam. You'd usually take that time to ask him what he thought of what you had so far, even though he wasn't sure how much of a help he actually was. 

Most of your paintings were of his regulars and every single one blew him away. But you never let him see the final piece, so he was excited to see tonight what you'd made. 

After clasping his watch around his wrist, Bucky took one last glance at himself in the mirror to make sure he looked alright. 

He hoped he wasn't over dressed in his suit, you hadn't told him exactly what kind of attire he should show up in, other than he needed to dress nice and that he should wear maroon. He'd had Natalia go with him to pick it out - he hadn't needed a suit in years so he didn't exactly have one ready. She'd helped him pick it out but now that he was looking at himself, it felt like too much. 

He wasn't really sure what you saw in him if he was being honest with himself. He was a little over a decade older than you and it showed. He'd started sporting more gray in his beard than he liked to admit and there were permanent wrinkles in the corners of his eyes. The smile lines and the frown lines both sunk a little deeper into his cheeks. He preferred a night in, reading a new book, over a night out. 

Maybe I should lose the tie? He thought as studied his appearance. 

He reached up to pull the fabric around his neck loose when there was a knock at the door. 

"Bucky!" Ana's voice filtered through the door, "Are you ready? We've gotta go if we're gonna catch the subway in time!" 

Pulling open his front door, he realized maybe he wasn't too overdressed. Ana was in a baby blue floor length, thin strapped dress with a slit up her thigh, though it didn't look too uncomfortable - in fact, it looked incredibly soft - and a pair of strappy heels. Her girlfriend, Val, was in a pair of pin striped pants, a black turtleneck, and a pair of nice white shoes to finish the look. 

"Oh don't you look nice!" Ana claimed after taking in his suit. 

"Really?" He asked, "I feel like it's too much." He looked again in the mirror by the door, tugging at the tie. "Should I forget the tie?" 

She pondered for a moment, looking him up and down, taking in the charcoal black slacks and matching coat, the maroon button up shirt and the black tie around his neck. 

"It depends," She started, "Do you want to look like a businessman? Or do you want to look like a sexy dilf?" 

"I, um, I don't know," He felt his face flush as he stuttered for an answer, "I just don't want to over do it." 

Ana smirked, "Loose the tie, bring the jacket, but don't wear it." 

He nodded before pulling the tie off and shucking the jacket, carrying it over his arm. He grabbed his keys and went to follow them out before Ana's hand popped up in front of his chest. 

"And undo the top button," She declared. "Actually, the top two." 

~

The outside of the building was rather plain in Bucky's opinion. The sunset was reflecting off of the large floor to ceiling windows that were framed in black, and he could see the exhibit all put together on the other side of the glass. 

There were already several people filling the space, but you'd told everyone you'd meet them outside. Bucky watched the crowd pass by on the sidewalk as Ana and Val discussed their plans for tomorrow night. 

He'd never been to something like this. Sure, he'd accompanied you to the art museum, but this was for you. He came to support you specifically and he felt like maybe something was missing now. 

Should I have brought flowers? A gift? He gnawed on the edge of his bottom lip as he looked around. Usually there were vendors out, selling little nick nacks or souvenirs. Really just anything to make a living. And among those was typically a flower cart. But as he looked around, the carts of random items were nowhere to be seen, packed and gone home for the night. 

He let out a disappointed sigh through his nose and turned his attention back to the door right as you walked out. 

His mind stopped working as he saw you, time freezing for him as he took you in. 

You were wearing a beautiful long sleeve dress with a shawl collar, its color split down the middle. The left side was a deep black, the right matching the same maroon as his dress shirt. The waist was cinched in just enough high on your waist to accentuate the curves you already had and the flared hem stopped just below your knees. There were black strappy heels on your feet and your hair was styled perfectly. And to top it off, you were wearing the simple rose gold necklace he'd seen you wear everywhere you went, the jewelry resting on its claimed spot of your collar. 

He didn't take another breath until your eyes landed on him and you gave him that amazing smile of yours, your lips lined in the same deep maroon. You weaved yourself around the people lingering at the front of the building until you stopped just short before him. The heels you were wearing gave you a little bit of height, but he was still taller than you by at least half a head. 

"Hi," You breathed it out as if the sight of him had stolen your breath too.

"Hi," He couldn't stop the corners of his lips from pulling up as he gazed down at you. "You look stunning." 

You didn't fight the grin that took over you as you muttered a 'thanks' and ducked your head. You reached for his arm, setting your hand against it as you looked back up at him, "You don't look too bad yourself." 

Ana clearing her throat had you two whipping your heads to her and Val, "While you do look amazing," She stated with a pointed finger at you, "It's getting chilly out so maybe we can take this love fest inside?" 

Bucky's cheeks flushed and he stifled his laugh as you tried to glare at your roommate while being obviously flustered that you'd walked right past her. You straightened your back and squared your shoulders. 

"Only because you asked so nicely," You bit back. The small venom in your words didn't hold any actual mal intent, and everyone in your group knew that as they laughed. Ana and Val lead the way, holding the door open for you and Bucky.

At the feeling of Bucky's hand resting on the small of your back, you glanced over your shoulder, giving him your small smile again before turning and leading him inside. 

The inside was dark, the walls a dark gray, almost black. Each art piece on display had a warm off-white spotlight shining on it. Bucky expected the space to be louder than it was, just by seeing how many people were here, but he was pleasantly surprised when everyone's conversations were mere murmurs and mumbles as you all passed by, most of them drowned out by the subtle music playing over the speakers.  

You took him on a tour around the gallery, arm in arm and pointing out pieces that were made by your friends. They were all wonderful and amazing pieces, but he really just wanted to see your stuff, but he remained patient while you were stopped by peers and professors from your college along the way, only speaking when you introduced him. This was your night, and he wasn't going to take that away from you by stealing conversations. He also didn't know much about art, only really about how much time and effort went into each piece - thanks to you and Steve - so he wasn't about to pretend he knew what he was talking about. 

Looking ahead to the direction you were leading him before you got stopped again, he could notice one of the paintings he'd watched you paint. You'd been sitting in your chair on the other side of your living room while he was watching a show - well, he was supposed to be watching a show, but he couldn't take his eyes off of you. 

"Bucky?" Your voice caught his attention again, along with a tug on his sleeve, and he looked over to you. You had a worried look on your face, but the girl who'd stopped you just a moment ago was still there. 

"What, sugar?" He asked. 

"If you're bored, you can go on ahead, it's okay," You were trying not to let too much of any emotion into your voice with how quiet you were being. Something about the way you said it made Bucky think he's not the first person you said that to. But who in their right mind would make you feel like you had to say that? Who would be so disinterested in you before him that now you had the instinct to tell him not to wait for you? It was unacceptable. 

"I'm perfectly fine where I am, don't worry about me," he grinned down at you, trying to ease the sudden anxiety coming off of you in waves. You smiled, letting your shoulder relax as you turned back to your friend Zoe, who could only help but smirk at the two of you. 

"Hey," she said, gaining both of your attention, "My roommates and I are having a small party to celebrate today, you should come. Both of you." 

"Oh, I'd love to, but," You turned to Bucky, "Don't you have to work?" 

"I do," He grinned, "But I can always take off early, meet you there. If you want?" 

"Who would close the bar?" 

"Hey, give Sam some credit, he knows how to close the bar on his own. He's a big boy." 

You laughed at that before turning to Zoe, "We'll be there." 

You went your separate ways, linking your arm with Bucky's and leading him down the hall where your artwork was on display. "You sure you want to party with a bunch of youngsters, old man?" You leaned in and asked, earning a laugh from him before he sighed. 

"Oh, I don't know. I may have doomed myself, huh?" 

"Mhm, probably." You hummed with a giggle before turning him to an open room with statues in the middle, your pieces lining the walls on the other side. 

You knew the second he saw it, almost as soon as you walked in, because he took in a sharp breath, eyes locked on the other side of the room. 

"Whoa," He breathed out, hesitating to take another step closer. Your nerves grew with his sudden change of movements and you couldn't help but squeeze his elbow. 

"You like it?" You asked, and he must've sensed your worries through your voice because he whipped his head to you. 

"This is incredible," He said while pointing at it. 

It was a combination of different sized canvases all painted in his bar, placed strategically across the whole wall. Each one contained a different scene, but they were manipulated just enough to where if you stood at the right angle, they created one large picture. All of his regulars, your friends, his friends who worked with him, all there. In the center was him, with a cocktail shaker in his hands and a smile on his face. 

"What was your theme for this?" He asked, finally walking closer to see all of his favorite faces on the wall. 

"I chose community, family, a support system," You explained, "And you have such a strong one, I couldn't help it." 

"You missed someone, though," He said, his voice dropping in disappointment and you couldn't help it when the smile on your lips fell. 

"What? What do you mean?" You looked from him to the wall, searching the faces for who was missing. You were there often enough that you knew everyone who was a regular. You knew. There was no way you missed anyone. 

"You," He looked at you with an exaggerated pout, "You're not in here." 

You couldn't help the coo that you let slip from your lips and you held in a laugh, "Aw, I'm sorry. I'll have to paint one and fit me in somewhere." 

He smiled at that, "I know where you can go." 

"Oh yeah? Where's that?" You asked as he pulled you close with one hand and looking at the painting, pointed to a spot with his other. 

"Right next to me." 

~

"Bucky!" You called out as you padded down the driveway straight for him. You'd exchanged the dress and heels from earlier for a more comfortable outfit, joggers covering your legs and a loose long sleeved shirt keeping you warm. 

He braced himself, steadying his feet and holding out his arms before you crashed into him. Your giggles flooded his ears as he stumbled backward but held on tight to you, keeping you both from toppling to the ground. 

"Hi, sugar," He chuckled into your hair. You smelled like weed and beer and he could only imagine what he'd been missing as you squoze him to death. You nuzzled your nose into his neck, inhaling and getting one more squeeze in before you pulled away. 

"You always smell so good," You had a half pout on your face as you pulled back, "It's not fair." 

He let out a hearty laugh at that, "How's it not fair?" 

"Because I know there are girls out there that see you at the bar and then get a whiff of your cologne and a look at your face and then they want you, but they can't have you, cause you're mine," You rambled and he laughed, doing his best to ignore the way his heart skipped a beat at you calling him yours. 

"I still don't understand how it's not fair to you, but alright." 

"It's not fair because I wanna smell like you all the time," You mumbled before turning and tugging him toward the house. 

"You know all you have to do is ask and that can be arranged, right?" He asked, watching you walk in front of him.You peaked over your shoulder at him with an amused but curious look in your eyes and he smiled. "It's kind of a perk to, ya know, dating me. If you ask, I'll give you anything." 

"Anything, huh?" You cheekily asked as you opened the door to the house, the music spilling out into the garage as you led him inside. 

"Don't make me regret saying that," he chuckled. 

You led him to the kitchen, getting him a drink that you made incredibly strong. To get him caught up is what you claimed it was for. Though by the way your eyes were rimmed red, he'd be right to assume you were more stoned than you were drunk. 

He thought that he'd stand out too much at this party, being a decade older than pretty much everyone there, but all of your college friends were good about including him. Inviting him to play drinking games, roping him into conversations he actually enjoyed, and even offering him what you'd smoked. He'd taken a couple small hits, but he wanted to be able to drive you home later so he kept it light. He'd actually driven for you, and he never really pulled his car out of the garage - it was easier to walk the city. 

He liked being here with you, even if you were on the other side of the room, dancing your heart out with your friends. He got to sit back and watch, reveling in the warmth that spread through his chest - whether it be from the small amount of liquor or from seeing you so happy he wasn't sure - but he'd welcome it regardless. 

He loved seeing you so carefree. Usually, you constantly had your head in your paints and pencils, working on your next piece. And he was so proud of you, don't get him wrong, but he was glad you were letting yourself go, even if it was just for the night. He was sure you'd be right back to it tomorrow - well, maybe in a couple days, he was sure you'd probably have a killer hangover in the morning. 

The music changed and he watched as you stole the blunt from Zoe - though she was too preoccupied to really notice. You waltzed over to him, taking a long drag and then holding it out for him, but he declined and you passed it onto the next person before you placed yourself on his knee, wrapping your arms around his neck. He wrapped his free hand around you back, holding you steady as you nuzzled into his neck again. 

"You look good out there, sugar," He muttered so only you would hear, not that anyone here was in their right mind enough to pay attention to the two of you. 

"Mm, it was a good song," You mumbled, raking your fingers through his hair. He'd wanted to cut it a few weeks ago, but you gave him those puppy eyes of yours, claiming that you liked to play with it and tug on it. And who was he to take that from you? So he let it keep growing, and even though he didn't really enjoy having to actually try to get it to lay right, the feeling of your fingers running through it was more than worth it. 

"You ready to get going? Or did you wanna stay longer?" He asked, shifting so he could press his lips to the side of your face. 

You hummed in thought before you slightly pulled away, just enough to get a look at him. 

"What're we going to do when we get home?" You asked and his heart jumped at your words. He loved when you called it home. You still were across the hall, but you were over so often, your things littering his space, it was basically your home too. He loved it. 

"Whatever you want to do," He whispered against your lips before gently closing the distance for a quick kiss, tasting the weed and alcohol on your tongue. 

"Anything?" You asked, and if the way your fingers tightened on his hair didn't tell him what you wanted, the fiery look in your eyes sure did - the sparks there igniting the fire in his own body. 

"I said anything, didn't I?" He asked with a smirk and you smiled, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. 

"We should get going then," You muttered before placing a heated kiss upon his lips. It only lasted a moment before you jumped up from his lap and he leaned to try to keep your lips on his. "Let me say bye first, kay?"

"Alright, sugar, I'll be here when you're ready." He watched you saunter off to your friends, getting lost in the crowd as he adjusted his suddenly too tight pants. 

"Isn't she a little young for you?" A voice asked to Bucky's left and he turned his head with a scowl on his face. 

"I'm sorry, who are you?" He asked. The man - boy, really - next to him smirked. 

"Name's Flash," He cockily said, his nose tipped up in the air. 

"What's it to you?" Bucky asked, taking the last swig of his beer, and setting down the bottle a little harder than he meant to. 

"Well, shouldn't she be with someone a little more her age?" Flash asked and Bucky huffed a laugh before standing to his full height, watching as Flash's eyes widened once he towered over the boy. 

"Maybe she would be if boys your age knew how to treat her." He turned at the sound of your voice getting close and found you trotting up to him. 

"Ready?" You asked, a large smile on your face. He smiled, leaning down, pulling you into a dizzying kiss. You let out the tiniest whine and he smiled against your lips before backing away. He peaked over his shoulder at Flash whose face was red as a cherry. 

"I'm ready, sugar. Let's go home," He turned back to you, offering his elbow for you to take, reveling in the feeling of your delicate grasp on his skin. 

Regardless of how he handled that situation, he couldn't help but think about his thoughts earlier that day. What did you see in him? 

He glanced at you, walking beside him to his car. You were rambling about something, but in your drug induced state, not much of it made sense to him. He helped you into the passenger seat before making his way around the front to climb in the driver's side. When he got the car started, he noticed you'd gone quiet and you were staring at him, your lids half closed in your relaxed demeanor. 

He chuckled and started the car, "What're you lookin at?" 

"You," You drawled out, reaching over to wrap your hand around his bicep and laying your head there, never looking away. 

"What're you doin that for, huh?" He looked to the road, pulling out of the parking spot and starting the way home. Your fingers trailed across his chest, leaving a trail of sparks in their wake that crawled throughout his entire body. 

"Cause I can, and I like lookin' at you," You lazily slurred, pressing your lips to the skin of his arm. "You're handsome," You muttered into his skin before tilting your head up again, "and sexy." 

"Mm, I'm not too old for you?" He asked, keeping his tone light. He knew you'd already talked about this exact thing, back during christmas, but Flash's comment was seared in his head. 

You sat up, your brows scrunched as your intense gaze burned a hole in the side of his face. 

"What did Flash say to you?" You demanded and he couldn't help the upward movement of his brows. 

"How did you know?" He asked, stopping at the red light and turning to you, the red glow against your skin making you look ethereal in your sudden frustration. 

"Because he's an asshole and can't keep his mouth shut or his opinions to himself." You stated, "What did he say?"

He sighed, looking to the road, watching the light. "He made a comment about how you're too young for me." 

The light turned green and he slowly went through the intersection as you sighed. 

"If you were too old for me, I wouldn't be with you," You stated. He glanced between you and the road, seeing nothing but sincerity in your face and he smiled. 

"Yeah?" He asked, "You aren't scared of being seen with an old man like me?" 

You laughed at that, "You aren't that old!" 

"Oh, c'mon! I've got gray hairs already!" He laughed back, getting more giggles from you in return. 

"I like the gray hairs!" You collected yourself before leaning in, your hand on his leg making him jump and almost swerve the car. Your lips brushed against his ear as your fingers moved along his thigh, getting dangerously close to where he really wanted you earlier. "Plus, you actually know what you're doing when you fuck me." 

He swallowed as he tilted his head to make room for your lips on his neck. You weren't usually this forward, but oh man was he loving it. 

"If you don't stop, I'm gonna have to pull the car over and deal with you in the back seat," He gruffly muttered as you lips sucked on that spot on his neck. 

"Mm," you let go of his neck, "Maybe I want you to." He stopped at the next red light and turned to face you, seeing that spark from earlier back in your eyes and he groaned. 

"You're gonna be the death of me, ya know that?"

You giggled and bit your lip, dragging your teeth in the enticing way that you do and he knew he was done for.

"You did say we could do anything I wanted," You whispered, your hand squeezing his thigh again and he shook his head. 

"I did say that, didn't I?" He laughed at your giggle and when the glow against your skin turned green he took off. 

"How about, if you're good till we get home, I'll do that thing you like," He suggested, noticing how your thighs clenched in your seat and your hand tightened around his leg again. He took a glance at you to see all teasing gone from your features and he knew he had you. 

You silently watched him from your seat, eyes darting over his features to see if he was just toying with you. When he got to the next light and stopped, he turned to you again. 

"Well? You gonna be good, sugar?"

The second he got the door open, Bucky pulled you inside, closing the door and locking it as he pressed you against it, molding your lips together. 

With the promise of doing what you loved, you held yourself together on the way home and you were good, so he was going to keep his end of the deal. 

He threw his keys to the counter, hoping they didn't knock anything down as one of his hands gripped the side of your neck and his other wrapped around your waist. He dragged his teeth along your bottom lip, pulling a whine from your throat as he did so and he couldn't help the groan that shook his chest. 

He let go of your neck, tapping your butt with his hands, telling you to jump. You'd done this dance so many times it was like second nature catching your legs and wrapping them around his waist so he could take you to the bed. You tangled your fingers in his hair, tugging on the strands as he walked you to the bed, gently laying you down. He untangled your legs from around him and tried to pull himself away from your grasp, chuckling at your whines of protest. 

"Hold on, sugar," He muttered against your lips before you finally let him go. He stood, bringing each of your legs up so he could pull off your shoes, throwing them to the corner of the room. He felt you tug on the hem of his shirt and he smirked at you. "C'mon now, you know the rules." 

You put on a fake pout and tugged on it again, "Come back." 

He grinned at you, "How do good girls ask?" You narrowed your eyes at him before quickly sitting up to grab his collar, pulling him back down with you and pressing your lips to his again. 

"Please," You whispered in his mouth and he couldn't help the chuckle he let out, getting a giggle from you in return. 

"You're a brat," he said into your skin as he moved to your neck, dragging his lips across the spot where your neck met your shoulder, another sinful whine filling his ears, driving him mad. 

"You like it though," Came your breathy reply. He sat up, holding the hem of your shirt and looking at your face. You were already gone, lost in the moment and he tugged on the fabric to gain your attention. 

"Can I?" He asked and you rolled your eyes, a lazy smile growing on your swollen lips. 

"You know you don't have to ask, anymore," You claimed as you arched your back to help him take your shirt off. 

"I know, but it's the gentlemanly thing to do," he leaned down, tracing kisses down your sternum, and nipping at the flesh of each of your breasts. He reached behind you, pinching the clasp of your bra to open it, pulling it forward and dragging the straps down your arms before tossing it anywhere else. 

"I don't know why you wear that thing," he muttered, moving from one to the other, his breath leaving a hot trail across your skin. He watched as your skin prickled with goosebumps and he couldn't stop the smile that grew on his face, "It can't be comfortable." 

You giggled when he dragged his scruff across your side, "I'm not explaining it again."

"Fine," he softly bit down on your hip, "keep my girls locked up and away from me, why don't you?" 

"Your girls?" You asked, lifting your head to look at him and whining when he looked up at you through his lashes, refusing to let go of your skin before he was sure there would be a mark there in the morning.

"Yeah, my girls," He declared, reaching up with his left hand to gently squeeze your breast, "They're mine, aren't they?" He reached around your leg with his other hand and grabbed your thigh, giving it a squeeze before he crawled back up to you. 

Your hands came up from the bed and tugged his shirt up, ignoring his question. He sat back, pulling the offending fabric over his head and he went to throw it but remembered earlier and he looked at you before holding it out to you. 

"You like how I smell right?" He asked, and at your shy nod, he set the shirt against your skin, "You keep that, and when it doesn't smell like me anymore, I'll give you a new one. How's that sound?" 

You giggled at him, shaking your head but gently pulling it to hide your face, "Okay." 

"You can't use it to hide from me though," he pulled it from your face, crowding you again and dragging his nose across your cheek, "That's not fair." 

You leaned up, pulling his lips down to yours and tossing the shirt to the side. He rested the weight of his hips on you and groaned when you thrusted up, pressing on him in the best way. 

"You owe me," You whispered against his lips and he chuckled. 

"I know, sugar, I promised, didn't I?" He pulled back, sliding his fingers into the waistband of your joggers, "Have I ever broken a promise to you?" 

You shook your head as you leaned up on your elbows, watching as he leaned down and traced the lines of your legs with his mouth, following the descending pants. Once he threw those god knows where on the floor - he'd find them for you in the morning - he shuffled so he could lay between your legs, pressing an open mouth kiss to your clit through your panties. A groan shook through you as your hips tried to follow him when he pulled back. 

"Don't tease me like that," You pouted with a whine, "I was good for you." 

"I know you were," he said the words into the little amount of fabric still covering you, letting his warm breath fan across, driving a shiver up your spine. "You were so good for me, weren't you?" 

You nodded, biting your lip as you watched him, eyes following his fingers as they slipped between you and the fabric before he pulled it back and let it gently snap back at you. When your narrowed eyes snapped to him, he let out a laugh before finally doing what you wanted. 

Once he had that out of the way, he resettled between your legs, wrapping his hands around your thighs and glanced down, a smile growing on his face before he looked up at you again. 

"All this for me?" He asked, leaning his head closer, but when you didn't respond, he froze, his mouth hovering over you, watching you. "Sugar," he drawled, knowing you weren't too far gone to have forgotten the rules - not yet. 

He started this little rule with you when he found out how shy you could get in bed. You'd never been with someone as vocal as he was, and you'd come up with this rule together that if he asked you something, you had to reply.

Huffing a breath out, you finally responded, your voice barely there, "Yes." 

"Good girl," He smirked before dragging his tongue through your folds, groaning when the taste of you hit his tongue. He watched as your jaw went slack when he got to the top, latched his lips around your bundle of nerves and gave it the tiniest suck. A low groan crawled it's way out of your throat as he refused to look anywhere but at you. 

He only pulled his tongue off you for a moment, to angle himself back down before this time fully attaching himself to you, burying himself in you. He held your thighs, gripping them as they tried to flex around his head. Normally, he'd be perfectly fine with it, having your legs wrapped around his head, but he wanted tonight he wanted to hear you. 

It was like this room became his church, you were his deity, and your moans and cries were the choir, reverberating off the walls and flooding his senses as he recited his prayers between your legs. 

He noticed your arms shaking from holding yourself up and released one of your legs, reaching up to press the palm of his hand against your chest, gently pushing you down. "Relax, sugar, let me take care of you, yeah?" He muttered against your folds, groaning into you when you whined, pressing your hips into him. 

He could stay there forever, with your legs over his shoulders, his tongue playing with your center, the taste and sound and smell of you completely taking him over. Your fingers found their place in his hair once again and tugged on the strands, earning another groan from him as he buried it between your fold, sending the vibrations through you. 

He adjusted his arm over you to lay across your stomach, holding your hips down as his other one released your thigh and moved to join his mouth, his fingers prodding at your entrance before sinking into you with ease. 

The gasp you let out made him dizzy as he slowly pumped his fingers in and out, slowly dragging the pads of his middle and ring fingers along your walls, in search of that spot. 

He knew he found it once you mewled out his name, oh James, and he felt the spongy spot, pressing down on it, your legs clamping around his head. It's not like you didn't call him James in other situations, but there was something about the way you sang it here, in his bed, that made a shiver run through his spine, the ego boost it carried going straight to his head. 

“Right there, sugar?” He smirked against your skin, not giving you a moment to respond before he reattached his mouth to you, pumping his fingers in time with his tongue rolling against your clit, the pads of his two fingers brushing against that spot over and over and over. 

Spurred on by your chants of oh god, right there James, please, please don’t stop, he worked in tandem with the rhythm your hips had chosen. He knew you were close by the way your walls fluttered around his knuckles and the certain way you scratched his arm as it held your hips stiller than you wanted them. 

Without removing his fingers, he pulled his lips off of you, releasing your hips and reaching to catch your hands, holding them both to your stomach as he pulled himself up just enough to be above your chest. You were watching him with glazed over eyes, your lips parted and your chest heaving as he leaned his head down to catch one of your nipples in his mouth, sucking on it before grazing his teeth over it. You whined when he released it, but immediately let out a loud moan when he caught the other one, doing the same thing to it. 

"James," you gasped out, "I'm close." 

"Oh sugar, I know. I can feel your walls fluttering," He said as he leaned up to hover his mouth over yours, "Do you wanna cum on my fingers and my tongue, or do you wanna cum on my cock, hm?" He knew you hated when he made you choose like this, as if your brain was clear enough to make a decision. You did your best to look angry at him, but with the way his fingers were moving in and out of you, you couldn't keep the facade up longer than a moment before you moaned again. 

"C'mon, sugar, tell me," His lips brushed against your lips, "Tell me what you want." 

Your panting breaths were fanning against his lips as you fought off your climax, finally giving him an answer. "I want both," You mewled out. 

"Both?" He asked as he moved back down, "You're greedy tonight, aren't you?" 

He didn't know where it came from, the name that rang in his ears, nor did he expect it to have the effect on him that it did. But when the words please, daddy fell from your lips like a prayer - a prayer only he could answer - his brain short circuited. 

You'd never called him that before - hell, he'd never been called that before but by the way he was now painfully erect and he was having trouble holding himself back - he wanted to see what other names he could pull from you. What else would you call him while so lost in what he was doing to you that you didn't even notice what you'd let slip. 

"Fuck. Say that again," He gruffly demanded, holding himself above your core.

It was the fact that you didn't even hesitate before please daddy, don't stop, fell from your lips that had him devouring you like he was a starving man, replacing his fingers with his tongue. You tried to snap your legs around his head but he wrapped his arms around the backs of your thighs to hold them open. 

It wasn't long before he had you falling apart on his tongue with a shout of his name, drinking down everything you had to offer and helping you ride out your orgasm before he finally let you go. He crawled his way up your body, dragging his lips across your stomach, your ribs, your breasts, leaving a wet trail up until he reached your mouth, crashing his lips to yours. 

Your hands flew up to grab his face, pulling him as close as you could get him. He prodded your lips with his tongue, all but begging for entry. When you granted it to him and tasted yourself on him, you let out a long whine. 

Your hands left his face and reached for his belt, tugging on the leather strap. He chuckled at you, "So impatient," before he stood from the bed and finished pulling his layers off.

Reaching for your legs, he made sure he had a good grip on you before slowly pulling you to the edge of the bed where he rested the underside of his cock against your soaked folds, groaning with his head thrown back as you reached up to drag your nails down the skin of his chest. 

Bringing his head back down, he pulled your legs up, wrapping them around his waist, as he told you to be good and hold them there. Your legs were shaking in protest, but you did as he asked, bringing a smirk to his face as he reached for the side of your neck, stroking your cheek with his thumb before grinding himself down on you. 

He watched your eyes flutter as you fought to keep them open, trying to keep your eyes on him as he stroked himself over you, the head brushing against your clit. 

"Don't tease me," You whined out, your grabbing hands growing more desperate to get more of him touching you. You just wanted to feel his skin on yours, in any way he'd offer it. "Please."

He gave the side of your neck the smallest squeeze, watching as you reveled in the pressure, your eyes almost completely closing. "Please what?" 

He thought you were going to respond with the same name from earlier, he was silently praying for it to tumble from your lips again, but what you said was so much better. 

"Please, sir," You all but cried for him and he couldn't ignore the neediness in your voice, even if he wanted to take a minute to just bask in your attention and the names you called him. 

"I got you, baby," He said, pulling away from you just enough to angle himself at your entrance, holding himself back from slamming into you in one go. He knew how sensitive you could get and wanted to make sure you would be okay before he had his way with you. 

"Oh, sugar," he groaned out, squeezing your neck again, "You're always so warm." His breath faltered when you raised your hips, pushing him further into you. Your legs tightened around his hips, pulling him even deeper and he let go of your neck, moving to feel any of your skin he could reach, squeezing everything he could in his hands as he slowly started pumping in and out.

You sighed, finally having the friction you needed, dropping your hands to where his had stopped on your hips. He collected your hands in his own, bringing them together over your stomach and holding both of them in his left while his right one reached down, this thumb pressing slow circles of your clit and earning a sinful moan from you. 

God, he loved being in you, but he wanted more - needed more. He brought your hands over your head, pinning them to the mattress as he crawled over you, angling your hips up to rest on his thighs, going as deep as he could - and by the sounds that escaped your throat, he could tell he was in the perfect spot for you. 

He rocked into you, finding the rhythm that made you cock-drunk and hitting that little spot for you every time. Your pleas filled his head please, right there, oh god right there, don't stop and he swore he could get off on your voice alone as it sang for him. 

He released your hands, grabbing both of your hips to pull them to meet his thrusts, refusing to take his eyes off of you as you cried out for him, each of his thrust earning a louder and louder cry. He would watch you like this all day if the world let him, it was one of his favorite views. But there was one more that he loved just a little bit more. 

He slowed down, slowly dragging himself through your walls and you whined again, moving to reach for him but his voice stopped you. 

"You wanna ride me, sugar?" He asked, smirking when your eyes flew open with determination. He knew you loved it as much as he did when you rode him - possibly even more if he was being honest. 

You nodded your head, wincing when he pulled out of you to crawl up the bed, resting his back against the pillows in front of the headboard. Holding his hands out for you, he helped keep you steady as you took your place over him, sinking back down on to him, the gasp you let out making him twitch in you. 

"C'mon, baby, I wanna see you cum again," He said, releasing your hands once you were fully seated and moving to hold your hips again. Your hands grasped at his chest, scratching his skin as you began to rock yourself. 

It only took a second for you to find your rhythm, your fingers moving along his skin up to his hair and pulling him up to your neck where he sucked on the skin there. He wrapped one of his arms around your back, holding you to him as the noises you let out made him dizzy with need. 

"Jamie, please," You panted, pulling his head back and he knew what you were asking for. He nodded, leaning back and planting his feet on the mattress before thrusting up, meeting your own movements at the perfect angle. 

Your hands landed on his stomach to hold yourself up as he held your hips, pulling you down on to him. He knew you were close again by the pitch of your moans and moved his thumb to stroke your clit again. 

"C'mon baby, give it to me, let me see it," He urged you on and you shook your head, refusing to stop. 

"You first," You squeaked out and he smirked. 

"I'm right behind you, I promise," He moaned, squeezing your hip when you slightly changed the angle, the pressure low in his belly growing and growing. 

"Let go for me, please sugar, let go," he begged, putting just enough pressure behind his thumb to drive you over the edge. 

You cried out as you fell forward, barely catching yourself and it only took him one, two, three more thrusts with your walls fluttering around him for him to follow you over that edge, the white hot pleasure flooding his system as he wrapped his arms around you and held you to him in a death grip. 

Neither of you moved for a while after, catching your breath as your muscles spasmed before relaxing. When he finally calmed down, he reached his hand up to rest on your head and you nuzzled into his neck. He turned his head as much as he could to place his lips against your temple, whispering promises of a love he never intended on breaking. 

The feeling of your lips against his skin stretching into a smile made him sigh, but it was the returned promise of I love you too, Jamie that stole his breath away. 

The warmth that spread through his chest was a welcome one, and he knew that no matter how many times you told him that, his heart would always have that same reaction. 

And he couldn't wait to feel it again. 

As always, thank you for reading! Comments, reblogs, and likes are always appreciated <3

If you want to be updated when i post a new story, please follow my library blog and turn on notifications @remis-library

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x y/n #bartender!bucky #bartender!bucky x reader #bartender au #college au #college reader #bucky x college!reader #bucky smut #bucky fluff #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fiction #bucky fanfiction #mcu fanfiction

[illyrian-dreamer]

Changing Shadows (Part 1)

Azriel x Reader

Image by koike9023

Part 1 summary:

You’ve caught the Illyrian flu, but are trying to hide it from the rest of the Inner Circle. 

Lots of fluff, a bit of angst. Fluff fight with brother Rhys.

----------

Series summary:

Summary: You have a new role in the Inner Circle — Heard Guard of Velaris. And as Rhys’s younger sister, you feel you have a lot to prove. 

You and the Shadowsinger are also growing closer, and tension builds as your relationship changes from friendship to something else…

How will you juggle your feelings for Azriel and the dangers that come with your new role, without disappointing the rest of the Inner Circle and the Night Court?

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Warnings: Mentions of violence

Word count: 1,709

AN: This is my first time writing, I really hope you like it! So far this story is working out to be about 10+ parts… would love to hear what you think! <3

∇

You swiped a sharp hook from your right hand before snapping your left shin to blast the sparring mitt held by Azriel. The blow made a cracking sound on contact, but Shadowsinger didn’t falter.

You let out a frustrated laugh, throwing your head back as sweat stung your eyes.

“C’mon!” You threw your hands up. “One day I’ll make you move,” you toyed, pointing a finger directly at him as you tussled your wings.

He let out a light chuckle as his circled his shoulders, getting back into his defensive stance. “You can try,” he countered in a low voice, shadows swirling playfully over his wings. Something in you stirred.

You’d been training alongside Cassian and Azriel for many years. As Rhys’s younger sister, you had grown up alongside the trio, training from a young age to prepare you for a role in the Inner Circle.

Which is where you had recently been appointed Head Guard of Velaris. It was your duty to protect the borders and it’s people, especially since the war against Hybern had increased strain on the wards, and secrecy of the location now under threat.

Due to an attack on your wings at a young age, your previous role in the Inner Circle was to manage relations across Prythian, which kept you safely hidden from Amarantha’s rule. But now your training was complete and your wings were healed and working in every way they needed, you offered a new set of skills.

It was the perfect role for you, protecting the city you knew by heart and people you loved. Velaris had served as a sanction and dear home since the murder of your mother — when Rhys had taken you under his wing.

You had memories of the first time you flew, a small 10-year-old Illyrian awkwardly flapping your wings over the Sidra as you ran your hands through the water, Rhys laughing and cheering as he soared beside you.

Cassian and Azriel had swooped in too, both just as excited as you found your new freedom in the sky. You had cheekily splashed all of them with water from the river, as they chased you into the clouds. It was the best memory you had.

And here you were many years later — a grown woman, skilled fighter and trained weapon of the Inner Circle, working in the most important role of your life.

Refocusing on the mitts Azriel held before you, you prepared to enter your last set of punches and high kicks for the session. You could see Cassian and the Valkyries already begin their cool down on the other side of the ring.

As you were about to crack into a punch, your head spun and you lost your footing.

Azriel dropped the mitts and steadied you, his cool hands gripping your shoulders. His brows furrowed into his hair, hazel eyes concerned.

“Hey hey, are you alright?”

A slight ring in your ears came about as you blinked a few times. You coughed and felt a pain in your throat, which you had been ignoring for a couple days now. You knew you felt a lot warmer than usual too.

You steadied yourself and the ringing disappeared. “Um yeah, I’m fine. Just a head spin.” You wiped your brow on your forearm.

“Grab some water and let’s cool down,” Azriel suggested, eyeing you down as if he wasn’t convinced.

You didn’t have a moment to respond before your brother winnowed into the training pit.

Cassian dismissed the Valkaryies, jogging over and clapping Rhys on the shoulder. “What’s up boss?” He grinned.

“Cass, Az,” Rhys greeted his brothers with a smile. “Is ‘Y/N giving you hell?”

You grinned. “Trying my best” you replied. You swore you felt a shadow tickle your ankle.

“What brings you to training?” Azriel asked cooly, his shadows twisting.

“Impromptu meeting,” Rhys answered. “Many of us will be working long distance over the next week, I’ve called a group meeting before we head off in different directions.”

“Better wash the stink of me first,” Cassian joked, pulling his long hair behind his ears.

“I second that,” you smirked, Cassian returning a vulgar gesture.

“You’ll all have time to freshen up, we’re convening in an hour,” Rhys smild at your banter.

You grabbed your belongings while trying to stifle another cough, refusing to acknowledge the obvious signs of sickness. It was just a cold, you wouldn’t let it weigh you down.

You noticed Azriel’s shadows at your feet. “Don’t snitch,” you murmured to them, head still woozy as you made your way to your room in the House of Wind.

——

Your head pounded and your brow was sheen with sweat. Oh Mother, what timing to get a cold.

You gathered around the table in Rhy’s office as he directed movements for the entire Inner Circle.

Feyre sat at the table, hands resting on her baby bump. Rhys leaned beside her, as Mor, Nesta and Cassian hovered over the maps, Amren leaning against a book shelf picking her nails, and Azriel planted in his usual stance closer to the door. On account of your sickness, you kept your distance as much as possible.

Rhys explained there were troubles flaring up across the Illyrian camps — conflicts between the different bases over losses from the war. He and Cassian would see to it.

Feyre and Nesta would be travelling beyond the wall to assist with human rehabilitation, a timely manner that would be Feyre’s last piece of work before she rested during pregnancy. Mor and Amren would attend celebrations and meetings in Dawn as part of managing good relations with the court.

Your head pounded and you swayed slightly on your feet, but with a quick shake of your head you stood strong. It was obvious the team was stretched thin right now, you were not going to let your court down all because of a cold.

“Cassian and I will be gone for three nights,” Rhys said, hands laced together in his lap. “With Mor and Amren away in Dawn, Az you’ll need to be on high alert across our borders should word get out that less than half the Inner Circle remain in Velaris. I’ve checked our wards, but night patrol will be necessary.”

Azriel simply nodded, his shadows pooling at his feet. You frowned. That was your domain of work.

You looked around the room, waiting for your instruction. Suppressing your need to sniff or cough was becoming harder by the second.

“We’ll be leaving after dinner, you all have your orders. Stay safe.” Rhys tapped the table with his palm as a form of dismissal.

You blinked, confused. Was he ignoring you?

As the others began to leave for the dining room, you interjected Rhys’s path.

“Excuse me brother,” you huffed. “I haven’t received my order yet.”

You wondered if your clammy face was as obvious as it felt, but held his gaze. A tickle formed in your throat, and you quieted a cough.

“What was that?” Rhys looked down at you, cocking an eyebrow.

“She’s sick,” Azriel’s smooth voice answered from behind. You hadn’t noticed he was still in the room.

You whipped around for a quick glare, before turning to face your brother.

“I am not sick,” you said cooly, tightening your wings. You could play Rhys at his own game any day of the week. “And if I was, I don’t think a minor cold should hold me back from my duties to the -” Rhys cut you off by placing the back of his hand to your forehead.

“A fever and a cough,” he murmured to himself. “This could be the Illyrian flu.”

Rhys pulled his hand back, arms sliding into his pockets. “You’ve been sick for days now sis, try all you might to hide it. Your order is to stay home and rest.” He offered a tight smile.

“You are not seriously grounding me?” you fought, folding your arms across your chest.

“Three days grounded at the House of Wind or until you feel better,” he waved his hand, passing by you as he made for the door. “The house will accomodate your needs, and Az will be here should you need anything too.”

You threw another glare to Az as he hid a smirk, looking down at his feet. Traitor.

You took a deep breath to calm your frustration. “Brother, be smart. We’re stretched thin as it is, and Azriel has his work during the day to attend to already. I’ve got no demand in my domain, let me at least cover night patrol.” You hated feeling like a burden to the team, especially Az. You needed to hold your own.

“So I can have you faint mid-flight and plummet to your death?” Rhys countered, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Not a chance, you need rest.”

You frowned and shrugged him off.

Overprotective control freak, you thought.

I beg your pardon? He replied in your head, brows raised with a half grin on his face.

You slammed your walls up, unable to hide your scowl. When had you dropped your mental shields? What kind of cold was this?

He chuckled, narrowing his gaze on you. His eyes lit up with magic as he cocked his head sideways. “Besides, wouldn’t you say you’re feeling particularly sleepy?”

Your eyelids drooped and you swayed, your wings spreading slightly to try and steady yourself. That bastard had spiked your brain with sleep.

“Your walls are as penetrable as jelly,” Rhys answered the question you never said out loud. “Anyone in my team that unwell is required to rest.”

You sighed, defeated and now sluggish.

Rhys gave you a quick kiss on the cheek. “Feel better sis, I’ll see you in a few days.” He headed for the door.

You made a mental note — in a few days you would argue about his overbearing cautiousness and babying of you. But for now, the unwelcome sleep lingered.

Azriel slid up beside you, gently offering his arm for support. “Shall I carry you to your room?” He asked simply, eyes scanning you.

Yes, your heart leapt.

“No thanks, traitor,” you replied.

You heard his soft chuckle as you stumbled away, his shadows guiding the path to your room.

——

Part 2 >>>

#acotar #azriel x reader #azriel acotar #azriel spymaster #azriel shadowsinger #shadowsinger x reader #rhysand #rhysand x reader #rhysand sister #acotarfanfic #mating bond #acourt of thorns and roses #azriel fluff #azriel angst #acotar fandom #acotar series #shadowsinger #spymaster #fluff #azriel fic #azriel fanfic #sarah j maas #acotar headcanon #acotar smut #acotar writing #acotar fluff #acotar x reader #reader insert #acotar angst #acotar pov

[invertebrates]

bug toys!

alright, here’s my mini-guide to getting into the world of Weirdly Articulated, almost entirely Japanese bug toys.

some caveats:

1) most of these toys aren’t great for kids. they have a lot of small lose-able, breakable, poke-able parts and can fall apart pretty easily. 2) i’m in the US, so i’m not quite sure how to acquire these things if ebay and Buyee don’t work for you 3) ‘bugs’ for the purpose of this guide (and entire blog tbh) is any invertebrate why would i want fake bugs when i can get real bugs? 1) fake bugs don’t die and can be neglected forever. they will never bite, sting, poop on you, or be stinky (unless you make them stinky) 2) fake bugs can be handled constantly, they will not get stressed out or pick up any germs from you 3) fake bugs can be much larger than real bugs, or be species that would be impossible or unethical to own or breed. they can even be fun made up creatures 4) fake bugs don’t require any kind of tank, substrate or food, and they will not breed uncontrollably (or at all) 5) they cannot escape and become an invasive species 6) buying them doesn’t support shady or unethical ‘breeders’ who just take bugs from the wild (not saying all bug breeders do this, but it’s definitely a problem with certain kinds of bugs)

this is not to discourage any responsible bug-culturing you might want to get into, but for me, as a pretty depressed person without a lot of space, these are all big plusses!

onto the fake bugs

ikimono encyclopedia

unfortunately these photos will be some dark toys against dark backgrounds because i am a goth bastard and everything i own is black. sorry.

so, these being Japanese toys, I’m not entirely sure of the correct terms for them. these are pretty much just the search terms I’ve discovered over time that work to find them. as far as I can tell, Japan LOVES bugs and has a very enviable appreciation for them, they don’t seem to be considered nearly as gross or weird or bad as they are in the west.

these are a series gachapon or capsule toys. you can get all kinds of awesome little toys, which are often strangely detailed and often high quality, from vending machines in Japan.

here are some current listings from ebay to give you an idea of the variety and prices:

they also have a lot of cool fish and reptiles in this series. prices can be a bit steep, but you’re usually buying the whole set of toys pictured, not just a one-off. they’re usually a few inches, pretty well painted and articulated, and come as individually wrapped kits you have to put together. i will say, sometimes it is hard to snap the legs into place, so if you have hand/joint issues you might need some help putting them together. usually, a lot of these toys might be the same model but repainted, and sometimes there’s duplicates. the two mantises in my photo are from a set of 6, and there were 3 sets of 2 identical boys, so I could display one with the wings out and another one folded. they’ll also sometimes come with a little piece of clear plastic and a stand you can pose them on top of.

just from the sheer variety they offer, and relative affordability, this would probably be my first recommendation for getting into bug toys. they have beetles, mantids, caterpillars, wasps, ispods, crabs... i’d love some myriapod sets but we’ll see!

i usually grab these guys off ebay. they’re also available on Buyee and there may be more, cheaper options over there, but I’ve noticed with the import/holding fees, buyee and ebay come out to be about the same most of the time. (for anyone confused, Buyee is an English import service that lets you buy stuff off Japanese sites and auctions, since a lot of Japanese sites only want to ship inside Japan)

these are also just the gachapon bug toys from one specific company. there’s OTHER companies making other sets of really good bugs but I’ve had so much luck with just this one term I haven’t branched out much yet.

Fujimi Living Thing Arc

these are slightly bigger models made out of slightly harder plastic (well, the mantis is bigger; beetles are about the same as the ikimono guys) that are a bit more intricate to put together. they come with assembly instructions, but of course they’re in Japanese. you can pretty much follow along with the pictures though. the painting details aren’t quite as nice, but they have a bit more articulation. not as many choices with this set, though they do have a crawfish I wanna snag. they also have some goofy JP style monster dinos.

i bought these guys off hlj.com but it looks like they’re on ebay(and buyee as well I’m sure)

Revoltech RevoGeo

you’ll probably recognize this name if you’re into transformers or other toy collecting. these guys are gonna be by far the most expensive ($90-$120+) but they are extremely large and high quality. this one is super articulated, the individual leg joints and mandibles move, wings move, about the only thing that isn’t articulated are the individual little tarsomeres/feet segments or the abdomen segments. not as much choice here either, I think they have a beetle, ants, crab and a scorpion plus this wasp. these also come mostly assembled, you can usually just snap the wings on or maybe swap out a few parts (iirc this gal’s stinger can be removed)

i got her off bigbadtoystore.com, though they may be available cheaper elsewhere. BBTS is infamously a bit pricier than other toy stores but they’ve always been very reliable and quick for me.

this BIG isopod

this one won’t be as helpful. these may be part of the same series as the ikimono (they were just labeled bandai gachapon) but they are much larger, this guy’s like 5″, came fully assembled and is pretty articulated. they can even roll into a ball! all their little legs move! i’m pretty sure they’re meant to be one of the large deep sea isopods and man, a 1:1 revoltech model of one of those would be a dream.

completely fake bugs!

had to share my little starship trooper warrior bug collection :^) the big one and the one directly under it are 90s kenner toys I believe, the bottom-right one is a funko, the red one is from a tabletop set, and the guy on the left is a figma model that is unfortunately ridiculously expensive nowadays.

one nice thing about fake real bugs: there is not a crazy collectors market for this so this stuff should stay pretty affordable. unless real normal bugs somehow become a huge pop sensation i think it’s just us weird nerds that are into them.

other search terms to try: bandai insect insect gachapon (or gashapon) nature gachapon

that way you may be able to track down listings for individual toys that should be a bit cheaper! here’s a sample what bandai insect got me on ebay:

happy fake bug collecting!

you may noticed I haven’t mentioned one form of bug that has a lot of the same advantages as plastic bugs: dead pinned insects in shadowboxes. i do have some of these, but i am reluctant to support places selling them nowadays because few are ethically or responsibly sourced, and the same sellers often kill and sell endangered bats and other vertebrates for display. plus mites got into half the ones i had and turned them into dead bug dust. if mites ever develop a taste for plastic i will be sad about my collection but the world will be saved from a lot of nasty garbage so it would ultimately be a Plus.

so unless you personally know the person that pinned the insect, i would be very cautious about buying dead things from random online stores or dealers at ‘curiosity’ or ‘oddity’ shows and things like that, since it’s all sourced from alibaba and whatnot anyway. i swear i saw like 5 different people selling the same dead octopuses in orbs at the last curiosity show i went to. they are cool, but i have no idea where those octopuses came from and i doubt the people selling them did either.

#bugs #entomology #bug collection #insects #toys #toy collecting

[kiiwiigii]

Night-Time Reading

Alec x Fem!Reader

Summary: You are having a rough day managing your POTS/CFS. All you want to do is relax and Alec is there to help.

Warnings:

Fluff! Nothing but tooth rotting fluff.

Word Count: 400+

Requested?: Yes!

So I'm going through a really rough time, I'm disabled (pots and CFS) and my cfs is acting up badly cause school started and I've been so busy I haven't had a break period, constantly walking and running and being busy. now I have a three day weekend so my body is letting myself feel the consequences of pushing myself too far, so I was wondering if I could suggest some comfort? Alec with a mate that either has cfs or just has some symptoms and just him keeping them as comfortable as possible while they're in pain Common symptoms (including the ones I'm going through) - joint pain (I can barely go up stairs and walk -extreme temp fluctuations (really hot to really cold quickly) -brain fog (brain is foggy. I'm too weak to open a bottle of coke so I left it open and while talking I tipped it over and forgot it was open) -migraines/headaches -sore throat -trembling -really tired but can't fall asleep and/or sleeps for a really long time Thank you for listening 🫶🏼 -🦊

A/N: Hey nonny! I am so, so sorry it has taken me this long to write this. Honestly, I was (and still am I suppose) intimidated to write this, simply because these illnesses are not something I am not even remotely familiar with. But I also want to thank you because it's a good writing exercise for me. I'm also sorry that you're having such a rough time. I can't even imagine. So here's a fic, just for you, darling. I hope you're feeling better.

Another A/N: So the wonderful and amazing @alecvolturi did an amazing edit of Alec reading the first bit of The Hobbit. Please give it a listen as you read. It's PERFECT.

Miserable.

I was fucking miserable.

It began just by sitting up. I could feel the migraine building, and I was already in the throws of a hot flash. It didn't help that the pain in my joints was flaring up again.

It was 3 a.m. and I was already this close to crying. I couldn't remember the last time that I had a proper nights sleep. I just wanted one day, one day where I didn't have to be in pain or worry that any movement I made would set off a whole other series of symptoms, all of which almost all of them were painful.

"Darling?" Alec was next to me, his cold hands running over my heated skin, trailing goosebumps behind in his wake.

His hands were a sweet, cool balm on my flushed skin. It gave me a little relief. I leaned into him, enjoying the cold. His lips pressed to my forehead.

"Scale of 1 to 10?"

"7 to 8." I mumbled.

One would think with how long that I've lived with this disease that I would have a high pain tolerance. That couldn't be further from the truth. I could already feel a few tears slipping from beneath my lashes. I just wanted something to make the pain go away.

I whined as Alec disappeared, only to reappear with my meds and a bottle of water a moment later.

"Here, drink." He handed me the pills and water, and I took them gratefully. He pulled the comforter from the floor where I had kicked it off, bundling it back up on the bed for us to lay down on. He then grabbed my phone, pulling up my favorite playlist, the one he made for me to help me calm down when I felt like shit. The music started flowing through the speaker near my bed at a low volume.

"What book, darling?" His eyes were already scanning my bookshelves.

"Uhm…" I blinked back at him slowly, trying to process what he said.

"How about The Hobbit?"

"Perfect." I rasped with a small smile.

He was next to me again in a flash, his back against the headboard as he pulled me gently to him, a pillow already ready in his lap.

"In the hole in the ground, there lived a Hobbit." His voice lilted over me, and I felt myself begin to relax as his hands gently ran through my hair and along my neck.

The fine mist that signaled the use of his gift began to unfurl from his fingers and I felt myself begin to numb. The first time he had done this it had been disconcerting, but now I welcomed it with relish. A small reprieve from the pain. I smiled to myself, letting my eyes slip closed as I listened.

Then finally, sleep came for me.

{Masterlist} // {Request Guidelines}

Taglist: @alecvolturi @lack-lust-3r @rosedpetal

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#alec volturi x reader #alec volturi #volturi #twilight #reader insert #fanfic #fanfic request

[sunflowersandsapphires]

See if it fits

Wake Up, Chapter 10 (THE FINALE)

Series Masterlist

pairing: Matt Murdock x fem!reader 

summary: In an attempt to stop the advances of an unwanted suitor, Matt Murdock accidentally condemns you to being his fake girlfriend.

warnings: swearing, smut adjacent times, reader blames herself for SA (this is entirely an insecurity, survivors are NEVER at fault.), discussion of pressing charges (this piece is not meant to shame anyone who chooses not to seek legal reparations for harassment or assault, this is just setting up a future plot.)

a/n: WE MADE IT! Wow, I can’t believe it’s been 3 months since I first posted this fic, that’s crazy. I really hope this feels somewhat satisfying, I left it open ended because I may or may not be planning a follow up in this verse :)! I cannot thank y’all enough for bearing with me and following along. There will be more fun multi-chapter fics to come!!!

w/c: 4.5k

Your chin tilted up appreciatively as Matt pressed a kiss to your temple, the arm he had around you nestling you more firmly against his side. Your three mutual friends, situated around the large booth at Josie’s, exchanged knowing glances at the display of affection. 

“So…” Marci swished her drink around, looking between you and Matt with an arrogant smirk. “What changed?” 

“Nothing, we just…” Matt’s free hand gestured limply, giving no further explanation. 

“Stopped beating around the bush and admitted to having feelings for one another?” Karen asked with an air of fake politeness. 

“Realized that you were both miserable when you were avoiding each other?” Foggy snorted. 

“Finally looked at your relationship and had a ‘come to Jesus’ moment because you two have actually been dating for months now under an incorrect label?” Marci smiled, clearly amused by Matt’s blush and your avoidant eyes. 

“Yah, yah, all of that.” Matt groused, taking a swig of his beer as he rolled his eyes. 

“And after one night, some asshole was able to get you to confess your love. Truly doing what none of us could.” Foggy let out an incredulous laugh as Marci and Karen giggled at the joke but Matt had gone rigid beside you, not seeing the humor in such a traumatic event. 

“That’s not funny, Foggy.” He muttered, his rumbling tone heavily inked with a darker quality that you knew lurked beneath his surface. 

“What even happened to you two that night?” Cruising right past Matt’s angry comment, Marci gazed at you intently. Your friends had been given small details, but only Matt knew the identity of the man that had captured you, and, as far as you knew, all of them were oblivious to your previous issues with him. 

“Um, well, that’s kind of a long story?” You answered, lamely, stirring your drink and focusing intently on the way it twirled around the glass. 

“She doesn’t have to relive a near death experience to satisfy your curiosity.” Matt snapped, muscles flexing as he pushed in front of you protectively. 

Marci raised her hands in surrender as Foggy and Karen exchanged nervous glances. “Woah there, big shot, I wasn’t—“ 

“Did you not just ask her for the story of how she was attacked because she hadn’t told you yet? I’m pretty sure—“ 

“Matt,” Hooking an arm around the one he had securely thrown across your belly, your palm came up to grasp his shoulder and pull him back. “Hey, she was asking a valid question. They deserve to know.”

His face turned to yours, you could just make out the flurry of rage and concern in his stunning brown eyes behind their red lenses. “You don’t have to tell anyone anything. No one is owed an explanation.” There was an edge to his words that gave you the impression that he might know more than just the small amount you’d told him. 

“I know.” You smiled wanly. “But I haven’t been truly honest with any of you about that night. You all at least deserve that.” 

Clenching his jaw, Matt held you close as you took a deep breath. The rough pads of his fingers drew soft patterns under the hem of your blouse as you began recounting the worst days of your life. 

“The man that took me…was James Lannister.” Assuming it was better to rip the bandaid off, you started with the worst of the omitted details. Understandably, Marci, Foggy, and Karen all gaped at you from across the table until Karen broke the silence. 

“The attorney that was fired from PBA months ago? What on earth did he want with you?”

Biting your lip, you avoided their inquisitive eyes as you admitted your sin. “He wanted revenge. Because I got him fired.” 

The three of them took in the new development silently. You let your mind linger on the pleasant warmth of Matt’s palm around your waist before continuing. 

“James Lannister found me when I was working as a waitress in a shitty diner in Queens. After befriending me during my shifts, he offered me a position in his office. I was Lannister’s assistant for almost two years. No one knows this about me except a handful of people at PBA because I have since scrubbed it from my personal records and asked to keep my position and supervisor during that time confidential.” As your voice began to crack, you downed the rest of your drink. 

“You don’t have to—“ Foggy looked at you worriedly, but you waved him off. 

“It’s fine. I'm fine.” Matt gave a nearly silent growl beside you, clearly not convinced by the lie. “Like I said, I covered up that part of my life, but I worked for him for a significant period of time. During those two years, Lannister groomed me. He used me as a tool to end his relationship with his wife and then took his anger out on me when the settlement didn’t go his way. He abused and assaulted me and I was powerless to stop him for months. When the spot opened up in the midtown office, I jumped at the chance to escape. A coworker who had witnessed the abuse helped me report it and they transferred me.” 

Matt nudged his beer towards you as your vocal chords tightened around the words spilling out of your mouth. Somehow, he didn’t seem as surprised as the others by your tale of woe. “Thanks, love. After I was transferred, there was a very very lengthy investigation and, at the tail end of it, I was promoted. He was also up for the promotion, but when the investigation proved that he’d been a less than stellar employee, he was fired instead. Obviously, he holds me responsible for that.” 

Around the table, no one spoke. Foggy’s hand clenched tightly around his bottle, Marci looked furious, and Karen had gone white as a sheet. Clearing your throat, you pressed on. 

“I won’t traumatize you with any of the details but most people think that someone made up the allegations, even if they don’t know that it was me, personally, who spoke up about it. Moving on to the first night of the conference, you all know I was leaving the hotel after Matt and I had a…stupid conversation,” Matt winced beside you and you squeezed his thigh gently. “And I was planning on going home. But I was stopped by Lannister…and Beatrice Snyder.” 

A strangled noise sounded from your boyfriend at the inclusion of a familiar character. “Please tell me she didn’t…” 

You laughed, mirthlessly. “I wish I could, love. She was one of the people who thought I made everything up, except she knew it was me who reported him. I have no idea who told her, but all that time ago, when I freaked out at the Liberty Gala, that’s what she accused me of. She thought I was wrongfully punishing a man who had refused my advances and stealing his promotion. Handing me over to him was sort of a two birds, one stone thing, I guess. She wanted Lannister to be vindicated and she wanted Matt to think I was a cheating piece of shit. So she could finally have him.” 

Tears were pooling in your eyes now, but it wasn’t just from sadness or embarrassment. You were angry. Livid, in fact. Apparently, with all the “almost dying” and whatnot, you’d never processed how horrible you felt about Snyder trying to lie about you and swipe Matt from under your fake-girlfriend-soon-to-be-real-girlfriend nose. 

“That fucking bitch.” Karen snarled and Foggy nodded emphatically. 

Marci pointed a finger at Foggy. “The next time I see her, I swear—“ 

“Please don’t!” You squeaked, a few tears breaking the surface tension barrier and making their way down your cheeks. “I know that this is a lot of information and you are obviously going to draw new conclusions about the people involved, me included, but…I just want things to stay the way they were. Please.” 

“Sweetheart, I’m not sure we can do that.” Matt used a thumb to swipe the moisture from your face. “You matter so much to us, of course we care about what happened to you.” You fell against his solid chest with a sniffle and he kissed the crown of your head. 

“Matt’s right.” Foggy added gently. “What they did to you was not ok. We won’t do anything you don’t want us to do, but you should at least consider pressing charges.” 

“I‘ve tried that before.” You murmured tiredly, burying your face against Matt’s neck. “Lannister is still respected by most of the cops, attorneys, and judges in this city. I didn’t stand a chance then and I don’t now.” 

“You didn’t have us before.” Karen says, her gaze ferocious but kind. 

“Karen’s right. You have 4 attorneys backing you now.” Marci nodded, clearly already working through the details of the case in her head. 

“If we could get the coworker to testify—“ Foggy jumped in, making notes in his phone. 

“Guys, wait…” You pleaded, but your quiet tone was ignored. 

“Foggy is right, a coworker testimony would be crucial. And we’d just want to thoroughly vet the judge before filing, to be sure he wouldn’t have the upper hand. But we could file in both criminal and civil courts and give us a better chance of success.” Matt’s attention was fully on the other 3 attorneys, his arm no longer shielding you from the world or your bubbling panic. 

“No, I don’t want—“ They still weren’t listening. Your breathing turned shallow, why did the walls suddenly feel like they were closing in on you? The voices around you blurred as your skin turned clammy. You clenched and unclenched your fists repeatedly in an attempt to bring yourself out of an impending anxiety attack. 

Behind you, a glass shattered—scattering the few remnants of your calm demeanor across the bar with the shards. You jumped, whirling around to find the source of the noise. A hand clamped around your wrist and you flinched, turning to see Matt’s worried face flash with hurt. 

“I-I can’t—“ You panted, “I gotta go.” And with that final display of bravery, you fled the dive bar and retreated to your apartment.  

Inhaling deeply, you tried to ground yourself by focusing on the heat of the mug in your hands. Whisps of steam spiraled upwards toward your eager face, dancing across your cheeks in a tender caress. You got all of 5 minutes to wallow in self pity before he caught up to you. 

The window in your bedroom slid open, which would have alarmed you if you weren't confident that it was your concerned ninja boyfriend. His stern voice did catch you off guard, however.

“What were you thinking?” Arms crossed, you could almost smell his rage, the devil gnashing its teeth behind his glowering eyes. 

“I'm sorry, Matty,” His nostrils flared at the nickname, clearly rejecting your attempt to soothe his spurt of protective anger. “You were right, it was too much, I--”

Matt was practically alight with indignation. “You cannot just run off like that. Not after your track record.” 

“My track record?” That comment stung, plucking a string that ran straight to the core of your insecurities.

No doubt sensing the shift in your tone,  Matt changed tactics with a sigh.  “Lovely, you of all people know how dangerous it is out there—“

“You think it was my fault.” Your voice wavered, not daring to look at him and see resigned agreement. 

“Of course not.” Matt denied firmly, but you held onto your suspicion nontheless. Hands held out in a placating gesture, he moved towards you. “Never. I just…I worry about you.” 

“I’m fine.” Your boyfriend flinched at the lie. 

“Both of us know that’s not true.” His blank eyes darted around your face, searching for any path past the walls you were putting up. Clearly something he'd said had been misconstrued, he would never blame you for the actions of monsters, but it had forced your guard up anyway. Wetting his lips with his tongue, he sat beside you on the couch, trying not to let his face betray how devastated he was by your physical and emotional distance.  “Sweetheart, why don’t you want to press charges?” 

“What?” You looked to him in surprise, not expecting him to get right to the root of your distress.

“That’s what set your anxiety off, isn’t it?” It was less of a question and more of a statement.

“Matt I don’t—“ You started, but he held up a finger to stop you as a scream echoed in the distance. Holding your shoulders high as your heart clenched, you set your jaw and allowed your consciousness to sink back into emotional numbness. “Go.”

“Angel, I don't--” Conflict was etched into his features, softening your resolve.

”It's ok, Matt.“ You ran a hand over his arm as you reassured him honestly. ”Go, let the devil out. We can have a more productive conversation when you've given your alter ego the space he needs and I've sorted through my own emotional turmoil.”

“I don't want to leave you like this.” Matt's voice was soft with hesitation and strife. He reached a hand towards you in silent offering.

Squeezing his outstretched fingers, your stomach ached with sympathy. “And I'm asking you to. As much as I adore your company, I know myself pretty well. I need time to process my own thoughts and emotions. I love you, and we both know you need to attend to whatever is going on out there.“

Kissing your forehead, Matt nodded in understanding.”I love you too.“ 

”I know. I'll be here when you get back.“ You promised as he walked into your bedroom and leapt out the window.

Recentering your mug in your shaky palms,  you sighed as you realized the heat had dissipated in the time you'd neglected the drink. Standing on wobbling legs, you shuffled to the stove to boil it once more.

Ripping his mask off, Matt ran a hand through his sweat-damp hair as he debated his next move. The city hadn't asked much from him tonight, simply guiding him through a web of petty crimes before he landed in his apartment at a semi-decent hour. 

Each hit thrown had steadily chipped away at the swirling mass of anger that had been building in his chest for hours, leaving a trail of regret and guilt in its wake. His heart hammered at the thought of facing you again, after the way he'd acted. After scolding you for taking care of yourself and accusing you of putting yourself in danger, of course you assumed he blamed you for the violence you'd experienced. God, he was such an idiot. He didn't deserve you.

Swallowing the lump of insecurity that rose in his throat, he stripped off the suit and stalked into the shower, already brainstorming his much needed apology.

Across Hell's Kitchen, you turned fitfully on your mattress, failing to let sleep drag you under despite your exhaustion. Threads of apprehension knit together a string of self deprecating thoughts, weaving an intricate trap that you'd barely avoided since Matt left. Voices rang through your brain, making you wince with each word. Your fault. You’re so pathetic. Slut. Not with your track record. Whore. Shrew. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault.

You whined, curling into a ball and throwing your hands over your ears. But the voices didn't quiet down. 

You did this to yourself. You were asking for it. You think you’re a victim? You are so stupid. 

Shivers wracked your body as you wrapped a pillow around your head, the soft feathers unable to silence the imaginary accusations. Heaving quivery breaths, you tightened your fingers around the fabric in your fingers until your knuckles ached. With the subtle pain to hold your attention, you willed your lungs to hold the air for longer than a millisecond. 

Sniffling through stifled cries, your throat felt tighten as your heart pounded, stabbing a dull ache into your temples with each pulse. You were so engrossed in the storm of emotional instability that you didn't hear the window sliding open. Yelping as a hand touched your shoulder, you flew out of the bed, landing haphazardly on the wood floor in a pile of frantic limbs. 

“Woah, easy there, angel, it's me.” Keeping an admirable distance, Matt crouched in your line of sight, giving you time to adjust to his presence. Dressed in a worn shirt and sweatpants, his cheeks were tinged pink with exertion and his damp hair was ruffled—he must have hurried back to you. Although the thought of your boyfriend rushing to your side after tending to the city made your heart swell with adoration, your frayed nerves triggered a defensiveness within you.

“You couldn't have used the door?” You snapped, baring your hurt to him rather than letting your guard down and revealing the terror beneath. Grimacing at Matt's shocked expression, you recoiled at your own standoffishness. “I'm sorry, you just startled me.”

Frowning at the defeated tone you held, Matt scooted over to your collapsed form. “I thought you'd be asleep, angel. When I got close enough to hear your heart rate, I panicked. What happened?” Offering you a hand up that you timidly accepted, he sat you on the bed, kneeling before you and gazing up inquisitively. 

“Dunno. I was doing ok and then...I just wasn't.” Your breath hitched with the confession, pulling stale tears from your waterline. Traitors.

“You should've called me.” Matt's thumb ran lines over the back of your hand. 

Biting your lip, you closed your eyes. “I–I never want to make you choose between me and the city, that's not fair.” 

Nodding, Matt frowned. “I appreciate that, sweetness, but I will always always come help you.” Putting a mental pin in that conversation, he sat against your headboard and, risking rejection, lifted you tenderly into his lap. Breathing out a sigh of relief, you inadvertently leaned into the kisses he placed against your aching head. 

“I'm so sorry, beautiful girl. I didn't mean to snap at you earlier, that wasn't smart of me. It made you feel bad, huh?” Matt placed a gentle kiss on the bridge of your nose as you nodded miserably, glistening tears pouring down your cheeks. ”I apologize, but I need you to know I wasn't angry with you. It seemed like I was, I get that, but I promise I was just worried and I let my emotions get the better of me.“

”I'm sorry too.“ You murmured, gratefully falling into the hands that came to cradle your face. ”I should have been more careful.“

”Oh no, sweet thing, I didn't mean that. Nothing that those men did is your fault, ok? Nothing. I will tell you that a hundred times a day if I need to. I have never blamed you for their actions, ok? Hand to God.“

”Pinky promise?“ You sniffled quietly, pressing a lone pinky against the back of one of his. 

With an airy chuckle, Matt linked your fingers together. ”Pinky promise.“ 

”Thank you.“ 

”No need to thank me, sweetness. I just hope you'll forgive me.“

”You're already forgiven.“ You murmured, pressing your lips to Matt's. 

Tangled in each other’s arms, you happily let Matt trace patterns along your spine, beginning to nod off in his secure hold. Cupping your chin, Matt nudged his nose against yours. “I know you’re tired, lovely, but you should drink some water. Maybe take an Advil too, for that headache of yours.” 

Yawning, you nuzzled further into Matt’s neck. “How d’you know about that?” 

“I have special Devil senses. They help me tell when my darling girl isn’t feeling good.” He jested, pinching your cheek lightly. 

You smiled, accepting the glass he offered you and drinking greedily. Setting the now empty glass back on your nightstand, Matt settled into the mattress and pulled you with him. 

Sleep lapped at the brink of your consciousness, spurred on by the warmth of your personal space heater of a boyfriend. “I was thinking…” Matt’s rumbling whisper began, “We’ve never gone on a proper date, since we got together. Would you like to have dinner with me this week?” 

Humming contentedly, your lips broke into a small smile. “Yes please.” 

Kissing your forehead, Matt smiled back at you. “Ok, my sweet girl. I’ll plan something for us while you sleep.”

“I love you, Matty.” 

“I love you too, angel.” 

Waking up with you in his arms continued to be a small slice of heaven that Matt was sure neither he nor his Devil deserved. Pressing a kiss to your head, he inhaled deeply–centering himself with your delicate scent–before making his way to the kitchen to start coffee. Slipping out of your slumbering grasp, he padded blearily out of the bedroom, shuddering slightly at the abrupt lack of warmth around him. 

Once the coffee machine was whirring, Matt sank onto his worn couch, opening his laptop to listen to some emails he’d received the night before. After responding to one, a smile grew on his face when he heard an uptick in your pulse as you shifted on the bed. 

Patiently waiting for his coffee to brew, he refrained from returning to the covers to shush you and help you back to sleep. Unfortunately, this meant you had fully left the bed before he could encourage you to stay there.  

Soft footsteps rung throughout the loft as you walked towards him, yawning the whole time. 

“Good morning, sweet thing. You didn’t need to get out of bed yet,” Though he was still smiling (his grin was nearly constant in your presence), he almost pouted in sympathy as he heard your groggy voice respond. 

“Didn’t want to be in bed anymore,” You explained with a shrug, settling into his lap with a content little sigh. “Wanted to be with you.”

Fuck, that tugged on his heart strings. Gasping slightly at the outpouring of affection from you, he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and hooked his chin over your head. “Then I guess we’ll both have to relax today, huh.” 

Nodding vigorously, one of your hands came up to cradle his face, gently rubbing over his stubble. “Mmm I like that plan. And any other plan that involves Matthew Murdock resting. He’s pretty averse to that, you know.” 

Huffing out a laugh, Matt poked your stomach. “I am not ‘averse’ to resting!” 

“Oh yah? So you wouldn’t be listening to emails on this bright, early Sunday morning? Rather than, I don’t know, staying in bed with your sleeping girlfriend?” 

Chuckling, Matt shrugged, “I wanted coffee!” 

“You’re deflecting, counselor.” You hummed, pressing an inviting kiss to his lips and pulling back all too quickly for Matt’s liking. His hands caught your neck, trying to tug your lips back to his as he whined involuntarily, but you just smiled. “I’m getting you that coffee you wanted so badly.” Matt hadn’t even realized the machine had sounded, far too focused on your body and the delicious sounds it was making as it teased him. 

You tried to get up from the couch, but Matt’s arms caught you in a vice grip. He growled lightly, burying his face in your neck and nipping at the junction where it collided with your shoulder. 

“Matty, darling,” You laughed brightly, leaning into his nuzzles and bites as you tried to reason with him. “As much as I do want you to rest today, I’m going to need coffee so that I don’t pass out immediately.”

“You can pass out,” Matt murmured against your sweet skin. “I don’t mind.” 

Tracing a hand up his back and into his hair, you smiled. “Well, I mind. I have something I want to do today that I need to be awake for.” 

“Wh-What’s that?” Matt rumbled, struggling to stay coherent as you massaged his scalp. 

“I, uh,” You suddenly hesitated, Matt tilted his head as your guard slid up ever so slightly. “I was thinking of going to the 10th precinct and, um, filing charges.” 

Your pulse stuttered, your body giving away your discomfort—with either the idea of filing or his reaction, he wasn’t sure. Maybe both. 

“That’s, that’s great, sweetness, but I don’t want you to do anything just because people you care about suggested it—“

“No, I want to. Well, want might not be the right word, but I…I think it’d be smart. To file at least a protective order and to get something on paper for the whole hostage situation.”

“I agree, love. Always a good idea to make a paper trail, right?” Matt asked lightly, as he rubbed a hand over your arm—trying to silently remind you that you were safe, that you could be vulnerable with him. 

Hiding your face in his shoulder, you bit your lip, weighing the consequences of the question you wanted to ask. Apprently reading your thoughts, Matt pressed a kiss to your forehead. 

“You can ask me anything, love.” 

Shoving his shoulder, you glared at him. “You know it’s really creepy when you do that.” Matt laughed in response. 

“You don’t think it’s creepy, you feel more comfortable when I read you like that. Your heart rate always slows down.” 

Rolling your eyes, you stifled a smile. “Fucking show off.” 

“For you my dear? Always.” Resting his brow against yours, Matt’s blank eyes formed an almost stern expression. “What did you want to ask me, lovely?”

“Will you, er, I mean—“ You sighed, drawing in a deep breath before spitting out the query. “Will you actually help me if I file? Like, legally?”

“Oh, angel, of course!” Pulling back from you, Matt’s words held so much affection and genuine care that you felt a lump growing in your throat. “I will do everything in my power to see that man locked away for good.” 

You giggled as his voice deepened to a snarl, the Devil showing his face for a moment as the memories of your kidnapping resurfaced. “As Matt Murdock or the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen?” 

“Both.” He growled, hands instinctively clenching around you. 

Cradling his face between your palms, you drew your protective boyfriend into a heated kiss.

Shifting from foot to foot, you glanced at the brick facade apprehensively. As you ran through the possible ways this could blow up in your face, Matt’s steady hand clasped around your trembling one. 

“We can go home right now, sweet girl.” He reminded you gently, squeezing your hand comfortingly. For a moment, another night flashed before your eyes, as if the precinct was the venue for the Liberty Gala you’d attended all those weeks ago. 

“No. He deserves to be put away. I’m going to make that happen.” You said defiantly. 

Matt dropped your hand and slid an arm around your waist. “I’ll be here every step of the way, sweetness.”

Nodding to yourself, you blew out a breath. “Right. Let’s do this.” Taking your boyfriend’s arm, you led him up the steps and into the bustling precinct. 

It wasn’t clear what the future would hold, but the pair of you would get through it together. That, you were sure of.

Taglist: @maladaptivedaydreamingbum @scoliobean @harperdoodle @mattkinsella @leikelle @sweetbee0108 @dark-night-sky-99 @fallen-angels2213 @will-delete-this-later-probably @cheshirecat484 @thornbushrose @vernon-dursley

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock #daredevil #marvel #matt murdock x you #charlie cox #human disaster matt murdock #matt murdock angst #matt murdock fanart #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock fic #matt murdock fanfiction #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock my beloved #matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock x female reader #matthew murdock #daredevil fanfic #daredevil fanfiction #daredevil fic #daredevil mcu #daredevil netflix #daredevil x reader #daredevil x you #mm #my writing #wake up

[yagirlwrites]

(Not) My Baby (3)

Pairing: college! Rafe Cameron x Reader

Synopsys: Rafe struggles to explain himself and Y/N struggles to deal with the situation he put her in. Her best friend is there to comfort her in the aftermath.

Warnings: Angst

A/N: Hi y'all! I'm so sorry this took so damn long to update! I hope it's enjoyable enough and people still care about this little story! I do intend to write this series out completely, I have not given up on it! But life be a bitch and I be busy, unfortunately. I hope y'all like this part and as always let me know what you think!

Series Masterlist

My work is my own; it's not to be copied, transferred or translated (but reblogs are welcome).

Happy reading! 🥰

(Not) My Baby (Part 3)

Stella walked through the door after a long afternoon of classes, ready to plop down on the couch and chill hard. Walking into the livingroom she greeted out a cheery "Honey, I'm home!" followed by a chuckle. She expected to be welcomed with an eyeroll from /Y/N or a silly comment from Lena but she was met with silence.

Y/N was sitting on the couch - a melted pint of Ben & Jerry's on the table, seemingly untouched - staring at the TV screen with a far away look in her eye. She hadn't even noticed Stella's arrival.

"Peach?" Stella's voice was quiet, catious, unsure of what was going on. Her worry only grew once she realized Y/N still wasn't acknowledging her. She approached her gently, laying an uncertain hand on her shoulder and calling her name again.

Y/N snapped out of her thoughts with a start, confused and disoriented for a few seconds untill she realized who was touching her and where she was. The darkness was slowly setting in outside, accompanied by the twinkling of lights. She had no idea how long she had been sitting there, staring at nothing.

"Are you okay, Peach?" She finally met Stella's eye and shook off her haze.

"Yeah. I'm fine, Pumpkin" she replied with a small smile.

Their nicknames for each other had been a staple of their friendship since freshman year. That first semester, the dorm they had shared had been a mess. The mysterious stench that could never be placed constantly plaguing them. They were forced to light scented candles to neutralize it. Y/N's favourite was the Peach scented one her mother made for her before she left for college. Stella's choice was always Pumpkin Spice, no matter what the season was. One day the nicknames came up and they hadn't left them since. The memory always made her smile.

"You don't seem okay." Her friend wore a concerned look and she sighed. She didn't even know how to begin to explain to her what was wrong. Physically she had been on that couch for hours, but her mind was still at the sandwich bar... with him.

"Something weird happened today..." She started talking, hoping that if she managed to explain it to Stella she might start to make sense of it herself.

-----

"Are you gonna say something?" His voice broke her staredown with the glass of water on the table in front of her. She hadn't moved a muscle for several minutes, trying and failing to process his words.

His family thought they were a couple. And it was because of him. He told a boldfaced lie and implicated her in it. How the hell does she react to that?

"Why?" Her voice startled him when she finaly spoke. He was freaking out big time. How the hell could he explain it without sounding like a dick? He couldn't. If she didn't before, she will definitely hate him now.

"I -" he trailed off, not being able to meet her eye. The words weren't coming no matter how hard he willed them to. Just say something, idiot!

Her focus was on him again and he didn't know if that freaked him out more or less than her disasociation from earlier. She was staring. Waiting. He wasn't even sure she was blinking. He tried wiping his sweaty hands on his pants, but it didn't help.

"My family..." he looked up at her, making sure she was still listening and not getting ready to run.

"My family is complicated. I've been dodging the talk about girlfriends and relationships for as long as I could... But then they started pestering me about this wedding and my stepmom was talking about these different girls" he scoffed "options, she called them. Options for dates for the wedding. And I tried, I really tried to get them to drop it but then my dad got angry because I wasn't taking things seriously and he started going on about how immature I am that I can't even have a single relationship work and how embarrasing it is having to set me up with these dates and I just -"

He had been speaking so fast she was struggling to keep up, the story spilling from his lips as if he had been holding it in for ages. She supposed he had. The way he made his family sound was making her skin crawl.

"I just cracked." His eyes were glossy, and if she didn't know any better she'd think he was on the verge of tears.

"I told them I have a girlfriend." He took a big gulp of his sweet tea, trying to calm his skipping heart. He felt ill, like he was going to pass out from telling her all of this. But she gave him no choice.

"Okay..." she broke the silence when it became clear he wasn't going to continue. He still hadn't explained why she was involved and that's exacly what she told him. He was playing with his hands on the table again, cheeks flushed and beads of sweat forming on his brow. He looked rough.

"Once I said it, I couldn't take it back. But then they started demanding to know 'who she was' and 'why I hadn't told them' and 'how long we've been together' and they kept-" he closed his eyes then.

"They kept asking : 'Whats her name? Who is it?' over and over and I just... your name slipped out."

----

"He what?!" Stella had been listening to the story with bathed breath untill that moment. Y/N sighed and repeated herself.

"He told them we're together..." Her hands met her face as she exhaled. This was not helping at all. She supposed it was wishful thinking that it might.

"What the fuck?" Stella took a large sip from her wine glass - having at some point during the recounting of Y/N's day decided she needed to pour them both a drink.

"Exactly." Y/N leaned her head back over the couch and closed her eyes, trying and failing to push away the oncoming headache. She could feel the pulsing in her ears. This was a mess. She had no clue what to do about it. So she took another sip of the Pinot.

"So what did you say?" Stella was holding onto the wine glass with an iron grip, the situation making every nerve in her body buzz with anticipation and trepidation. Completely bewildered but secretly loving the drama.

She had always thought the two had a weird relationship. Even though her friend would kill her if she knew she thought of the word 'relationship' pertaining to them in the first place. She knew he had left a mark on the girl, having witnessed the way they acted around each other. He pushed all her buttons and Y/N never hesitated to throw back what she got. But Stella never knew the full extent of it and she wondered if this was a blessing or a curse.

On the one hand, there was always an insane ammount of sexual tension between Y/N and Rafe. Everyone thought so but no one dared say it, not willing to risk life and limb from the pair. Maybe this could be what tips over the glass and they finally resolve whatever is going on between them. Or, more likely, it would end in blood and tears. It was one of the two, Stella was sure of it.

"I don't know..." Y/N trailed off, looking awkward as hell.

"You don't know what you said?" Stella was looking at her with disbelief. What did that even mean?

"I just... I freaked out. Okay?" Y/N's voice held a note of panic and embarrassment and Stella could not help herself, leaning over, now on the edge of her seat.

"Freaked out how?"

----

"What do you mean 'my name slipped out'?" Her voice was incredulous. He'd put her in a terrible position without a second thought. It made her cheeks flush with anger again.

"It just slipped out, okay? I didn't plan it. It just happened!" He was tripping over his words with how fast he was talking. It felt like everything was falling appart and he had no idea how to fix it. If he even could anymore.

Y/N was shaking her head, eyes wide as the realisation of exactly what he had done finally sunk in. And then she lost the plot a little bit, she'll admit.

"I'm sorry. Okay? I never meant for it to happen. But then once it was out there I couldn't take it back. I couldn't tell them I lied! My dad would never let me live it down, he'd never let me forget..." He trailed off from his rambling then.

As he had been speaking, Y/N had reached over and grabbed the sandwich off his plate and was currently munching down on it, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

"Did you just... take my sandwich?" He didn't even mean to speek, the bizzarity of the situation just making his words slip out. She looked at him then and there was a spark of anger in her eyes that made him gulp.

"Yeah... yeah! I did take your sandwich." She took another bite, maintaining eye contact. She knew it was childish but she'd be damned if she apologized now.

"I eat when I'm stressed. This is making me very stressed." She spoke as she grabbed his tea and then proceeded to down half of it. He was completely bewildered at what was happening.

"That's..." he trailed off, trying to move on from this weird moment, while she chewed on his lunch.

"Look it - it doesn't matter. If you could just see it from my perspective you'd understand-"

"Understand what?" She interrupted, voice eerily cold. "Understand that after being a dick to me for years, you decided to involve me in your family drama that has nothing to do with me? To lie about us being a couple? Not only that but you expect me to help you keep up the lie!? Go to a wedding? Are you actually insane?"

She was getting angrier by the second. How dare he? After everything, after how he treated her... to go and pull something like this? It was unbelievable. Selfish. Egoistic. So very him, after all. She scoffed at the realisation.

"You know what?" He was looking at her with big pleading eyes as she stood from her seat.

"I don't need this." She grabbed her stuff and made to leave.

"Please, Y/N!" His hand wrapped around her wrist again and she saw red.

"Take your fucking hand off me." He raised his hands up in surrender, fear in his eyes. He had really fucked this up big time. He didn't even know why he thought this would go any differently.

"Please..." His pleading voice and those big eyes made a funny feeling she couldn't decipher blossom in her stomach. She was frozen in place.

"Please, just think about it? Please?" Her face softened some at his pathetic state. Why was this act pulling on her heartstrings?

"I - I need you." He was fighting so hard not to touch her, to pull her to him and beg her. He was so close to getting down on his knees when she spoke.

"Fine. I'll think about it." Her words were quiet and for a moment he thought he imagined them, but the sincere look in her eyes made him realize it was true. He didn't expect that.

She didn't expect that. She couldn't believe she folded like that. As soon as he brought out the sad eyes she was acting like a fucking idiot. She wanted to slap herself but instead she settled for turning and walking away from him. Angry. Sad. More confused than she'd ever been in her life.

----

Stella was sitting there, mouth agape. Y/N finally stopped avoiding her eyes and looked at her friend. She wanted to disappear. For the ground to swallow her up. She felt so drained and lost and now, once again, embarrassed.

"You stole his sandwich?" Stella was visibly holding back a laugh and Y/N couldn't stop the eye roll. Of course she would focus on that.

"Piss off." She got up to put her glass in the sink, trying to settle her heart from reliving the day. Stella followed, completely unphased by the girl snapping at her.

"Okay, so what are you gonna do?" Y/N took a deep breath and looked at her friend. Stella finally realized how tired Y/N looked and that it was probably taking a lot more out of her than she had picked up on. She got lost in the drama of it all but her friend was really stressed.

"You know what? We can worry about that tomorrow. Okay?" Y/N let out a breath of relief, even if it was a small one.

"What do you say we get into your bed and put on netflix, like we used to?" Y/N gave a small smile and a nod at that and Stella wrapped her arm around her, leading them towards her room. "I'll heat up the leftovers from last night and we can cozy up, yeah?"

Y/N agreed. Even thought she had planned to make a nice dinner tonight she knew she had no energy. Yet another thing Rafe had ruined today. Left over cheesy pasta would have to take on the difficult job of trying to soothe her. She knew it wouldn't succeed though. It couldn't possibly. She was fucked on so many levels and she had no idea how to move forward.

But for tonight, it didn't matter. Simon Bassett and his dreamy forearms were the only thing she needed to focus on tonight. That and the feel of her friend holding her in a comforting embrace, making her smile. She was glad to have Stella by her side, no matter what. And before she drifted into dream land, she realised that as long as she had her friends she would be just fine. She always was. Rafe couldn't ruin that.

---

Taglist: if anyone wants to be tagged in future work let me know; @r0und3bitch @tee-swizzle @wishing-i-was-rafes-princess @goldenjo @kanib45 @clinelyn @magnificantmermaid @mannstarkey @harringtonstudios @totallynotkaibiased @popcrone818 @fangirlwithlou @rafesxgold @cmac-writes @malfoytargaryen @alinaharlow @buggy-d-chopper @withbeautyandrage @sierrahhh @harrys-humble-housewife

#(not) my baby #my work #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x y/n #outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks fic #obx fanfiction #obx fic #obx #rafe x oc #rafe x reader #rafe x you #rafe x y/n #enemies to lovers #fake dating #fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfiction

[sequinsmile-x]

Stained Glass Windows - Chapter Sixty One

Life was complicated, but they wouldn't have it any other way.

-x-

Hi friends,

As ever, thank you so so much for your love on this fic. It means so much.

Sorry for the small delay on this chapter, real life is truly kicking me in the butt at the moment and I didn't have the mental energy to give SGW the love and attention it deserves until now! (I cannot express how complicated a fic gets when you get to 60+ chapters. I have timeline documents and everything haha)

I really hope you like this one, and please let me know what you think <3

-x-

Words: 3k

A full list of warnings for the fic can be found on the Series Master List.

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

He was furious. 

The anger had taken residence under his skin, squirming and shifting in a way that made him itch. The feeling had taken residence the morning after the incident with the bomb. He’d woken up like he usually did when he was home - Emily pressed up against him, her mouth open as she still slept soundly, none of the stress of the previous day anywhere to be seen. As she shifted in his embrace, moving impossibly closer, the anger had set it, fueled by the knowledge of how close he came to losing this, to losing her. 

He was angry that it happened in the first place, that the ego of one man could have lost him the love of his life. He was angry that he was just expected to carry on, to move forward like it happened at all. Most of all, he was angry that nothing had been done about it yet. That Carson was suspended pending an investigation he knew would take far too long for his liking to be solved or, at worst, swept under the rug. 

He’d had nightmares about it ever since, his subconscious spitting out images of the building exploding with her still in it, of her funeral. Clear-cut pictures in his mind of Lily wearing a tiny black dress as she sat on his hip, confused about where her mother was as she clung to his jacket. It was better when he was at home. He’d wake up with Emily next to him, or half on top of him, an immediate reassurance that everything was okay - that she was still right there with him. When he was away on a case it was worse, the cold empty sheets next to him doing nothing to salve his panic. More than once he’d found himself reaching for his phone, about to call her, when he would stop with his finger hovering over her name. He didn’t want to put this on her too, didn’t want to make her have to look after him when it was her who had come so close to losing her life. 

In the four weeks that had passed since the incident, Emily had been off work. Strauss had insisted, claiming that she needed to work through what had happened. She also said it would be best that she wasn’t at work whilst the investigation was ongoing, so more fractures didn’t appear in the counterterrorism team. It had already split right down the middle, half the team on her side, furious that Carson had put her in that position, and the other half convinced that the only reason the investigation was happening was because of who her husband was. 

What had surprised him more than anything, was Emily’s complete lack of resistance to the order. She hadn’t fought it, hadn’t even said a bad word about Strauss and her decision to him in the safety of their own home. Instead, she’d taken it in her stride, taking in every extra minute with Lily and Jack when he was with them. Aaron knew he needed to talk to her about it, to help her figure out what she wanted to do next, but she was hesitant, avoiding the conversation at every turn. 

He clenches his teeth as he knocks on the door in front of him and steps into the office, pulling the door closed behind him. 

“Agent Hotchner,” Strauss says without looking up from her paperwork, “Is it that time of day already?” 

He knew he was pushing his luck on some level. He had to come to see her every day since the bomb scare. Fury and a desperation to get justice for his wife, for his family, swirling in his gut. It made him feel permanently nauseous. The others were giving him a wide berth, Derek and Dave only half joking when they said he was in a worse mood than usual. 

“The committee hasn’t even set a date yet.” 

Strauss sighs and places her pen down, finally looking up at him as she folds her hands together on top of her desk, “As I have already told you, these things take time. If Carson returns it won’t be until after the investigation has been finished.” 

His hands form fists at his sides as he thinks about the other man not facing any consequences for his carelessness, “He should be fired,” he says before he can think about it, and Strauss raises an eyebrow at him and he clears his throat, “Ma’am.” 

She stares at him for a moment and he thinks he’s going to be reprimanded, but instead, she smiles softly at him, “Why don’t you go home early, see your family. It might make you feel better.” 

A part of him wants to argue with her, but the part of him that wants to see Emily and the kids as soon as possible wins out, “I think I might do that. Lily is teething and she’s started to crawl, so there isn’t a huge amount of time to relax right now.” 

She chuckles and nods politely, and he takes it as his cue to leave. He’s already turned around when she speaks again, “See you at the same time tomorrow, Aaron.” 

He looks at her and sees what he thinks is an edge of an amused smile on her face, something he’d never seen before and he clears his throat, “Yes ma’am.” 

He leaves the office without saying goodbye to the rest of the team, desperate to get home and feel the peace he knew would wash over him the moment he stepped through the door. 

___

He was in a daze. 

Everything around him was happening in slow motion, the sound muffled as if he were underwater. People’s well-meaning sympathies and kind words not registering as he marched slowly behind the coffin just a few paces ahead of him. 

She was dead. 

Lily fusses in his embrace and he shushes her, rubbing his hand up and down the baby’s back as she presses her face into his neck, unsure about all the strangers around them. She was warm against him, the cool spring air around them a cruel reminder of new beginnings when everything had just come to an end. He can feel Elizabeth’s gaze burning into his back, her disapproval of him bringing Lily to the funeral at all clear. He’s sure he’d care more about her opinion if this weren’t the first time she’d ever laid eyes on her granddaughter. 

“I’ve got you Lilypad,” he says softly, keeping his voice low so no one around hears him, “Daddy’s here.” 

He feels a small hand clasp the one that isn’t holding Lily and he looks down to see Jack clutching his hand, sadness and confusion shining in his eyes. Aaron looks over his shoulder to see Haley just behind him, her smile sad and an attempt to be encouraging as their eyes meet. They come to a stop near a hole in the ground, cold and dark and where the woman he loves will be forever. 

She was dead. 

His eyes linger on the plaque on the coffin, gold and bright and oddly beautiful given what was happening. 

He had always said she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. 

He reaches forward, unable to stop himself as he disconnects his hand from his son’s and traces the engraving on the plaque, the final time he’d ever touch her. 

Emily Hotchner

October 12th 1970 - March 7th 2011 

___

He wakes up with a gasp, choking on a breath as it catches in his chest, tears splashing down onto his cheeks as he sits up. 

He looks at the alarm on his nightstand, 2.23 am and the date, March 7th, staring back at him. The date in the dreams always changed, a cruel trick from his brain to make it worse than it already was. As if it wasn’t already visceral enough, as if he couldn’t feel the cold spring breeze on his neck even though he was in his warm bedroom. 

He places his hand on Emily’s side of the bed, to feel the warmth of her skin, but all he finds are cool sheets and his heart stops, his breath caught in his chest again as he climbs out of bed, almost tripping over the sheets tangled around his legs. 

“Emily?” He calls out, tearing the door open, walking straight into her as he steps out into the hall. 

“Where are you off to in a hurry?” She chuckles her hands on his hips as she steadies herself, “The kids are sleeping and if you wake Lily up after I just got her back to…” she trails off she she looks up at his face, her smile fading as she sees the wild look in his eyes, the tension in his jaw as he stares at her. She cups his cheek, “Honey? Are you okay?” 

He nods and clears his throat, embarrassment replacing the fear that had been coursing through him just seconds ago as he tries to step back into the bedroom, “I’m fine, sorry I was just-”

“Oh I don’t think so,” she says, grabbing his wrist and stopping him from going any further, “You aren’t getting out of this that easily,” she stares at him, her eyes boring into his, and she knows he could easily get out of her grip, that he could use his strength against her, but he never did. Not unless she asked him to. He sighs and nods, a movement so subtle she would have missed it if she wasn’t looking at him so intently, and she squeezes his wrist before she shifts her hold on him, her palm pressing into his as she links their fingers together, “Let’s go downstairs though, I wasn’t kidding about how long it took to get Lily back to sleep.” 

He lets her lead him towards the stairs and he looks at his daughter’s nursery, images of her in his dream, scared and pressed up against him flashing through his mind, “Is she okay?” 

“She’s fine,” Emily assures him as they walk down the stairs, “She’s just teething,” she says, smiling at him as they head towards the kitchen, “And of course, as soon I go in there she thinks it’s playtime or something,” they both exchange a small smile as they think of the 8-month-old and how she had everyone wrapped around her finger, “I fed her though and she drifted off to sleep,” she scrunches her nose up as she finally releases his hand when they get to the kitchen and she walks to the pantry, “The more teeth she gets the less enjoyable breastfeeding gets, and it wasn’t even that enjoyable to begin with.” 

He hums sympathetically as he sits on one of the stools, eager to put off the conversation they came downstairs for as long as possible as he watches her start to prepare hot chocolates, a sign she had some idea what was going on anyway. 

“Do you think you’ll start to wean her soon?” 

Emily shrugs as she places mugs of water into the microwave, “Maybe,” she crosses her arms over her chest, “Probably. I’d like the freedom of having my body back to myself for the first time since I got pregnant,” she smiles softly, “Especially if we start trying for another one once she’s past her first birthday. But I think I’d miss it. It’s something just for the two of us.” 

“That’s perfectly normal sweetheart,” he assures her as she takes the mugs back out of the microwave and places them on the counter to add the hot chocolate powder, “You’ll do the right thing for both of you, you always do.” 

She smiles at him before she looks down at what she’s doing, dumping more marshmallows than they’d ever allow Jack into each mug, “So, are you going to tell me what your nightmare was about, or are we just going to stand here and talk about breastfeeding?” 

He sighs and clasps his hands together in front of him, cursing how well she knows him, that she can see through any attempt he puts up to protect himself, “Em-”

“Don’t try and tell me that’s not what it was,” she says, placing his mug in front of him before she jumps up to sit on the counter, her feet pressing into his thigh for balance, “I’ve seen that look in your eyes before. I know you had a nightmare,” she stares at him as he stares at his lap, his hand absentmindedly running up and down her calf, “Why won’t you tell me?” 

He closes his eyes and blows out a breath before he looks up at her, affection and concern swimming in her dark eyes, and he presses his lips together as he tries to think of a way to explain it to her, “I don’t want to upset you.” 

She furrows her brows, “Honey,” she says, reaching out and pushing his hair back from his forehead, “It won’t upset me. What upsets me is you dealing with whatever this is by yourself. We don’t keep things from each other. ” 

He knows she’s right, that he should have told her weeks ago, but he hadn’t wanted to burden her, something that felt more and more absurd the longer he sat there. She grounded him. The smell of the sweet hot chocolate in the air, the press of her always freezing cold feet against his thigh through his sweats, the warmth of her love wrapped around him like a blanket. 

“I…I keep dreaming about your funeral,” he says, hating how her eyes widen slightly, unable to control her reaction in the middle of the night like she would be able to in the day. “Ever since…” 

He drifts off but he doesn’t have to say it, she already knows. She sighs and chews the inside of her cheek, “You’ve been dreaming about this for a month?” 

He nods, clearing his throat in an attempt to clear the emotion clogging it, “Yes. Variations of the same thing. I’m at your funeral, I’ve got Lily and Jack with me. I didn’t save you.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She asks, a spark of irritation that he’d kept this from her going off in her gut before it’s extinguished by concern for him. 

“I didn’t want to burden you with it, sweetheart,” he says, “I’ll get past it eventually. You’re the one who…this happened to you, not me.” 

“It happened to both of us,” she says firmly, reaching for his hand and encouraging him to stand up. She pulls him towards her as he does, wrapping her legs around his waist to hold him in place, she smiles softly as he wraps his arms around her, pulling her closer, their chests pressed together as she looks up, “I still have nightmares sometimes about what Foyet did and that was almost two years ago. Do you think I should ‘get past it’?” 

He frowns at her, his grip on her tightening and he shakes his head, “Of course not.” 

She raises her eyebrow at him as she cups his cheek, her thumb scratching against his barely there stubble he’d shave away in the morning, “Then why should you with this?”

He closes his eyes and nods, leaning forward to press his forehead against hers, “You’re right.”

“I’m your wife,” she says softly, stamping her lips against his, “I’m always right,” she adds and they both chuckle before she pulls back, turning serious again as their eyes meet, “I’m sorry I didn’t think about how this would be affecting you.” 

“Oh, Em, no-”

“I don’t think I would have had the strength to walk away like you did when you had to,” she says, her eyes shining with tears she would not shed, “And I’m sorry I asked that of you. But…I love you for loving our little girl enough to do it. When I thought…” she clears her throat and shakes her head, looking up at the ceiling so she doesn’t cry, “When I thought I was going to die in there, the only comfort I had was knowing Lily would still have you.” 

He pulls her closer so her head is resting against his shoulder, his hand running up and down her back as he breathes her in, “She still has both of us.” 

She nods against him, “Yeah,” she says, the lingering guilt she’d felt every day since she’d survived turning in her gut. She could have left her daughter without a mother, the very thing she’d told herself she’d never do, “She does,” she tilts her head to look at him, “Want to go snuggle on the couch and watch reality TV whilst we have our hot chocolates?” 

He raises an eyebrow at her, “Do I have a choice?” 

She playfully rolls her eyes at him, knowing the conversation isn’t over, but that it is on pause for now, “Don’t act like you don’t love it,” she says as she gently pushes him back so she can get down off the counter, “We both know you’re the one who records those shows on the DVR when you’re away on a case.” 

He wraps his arm around her as they walk to the living room each with a mug in hand, “And as we have agreed, that information never leaves this house otherwise I’ll tell Derek about the time you queued at ComicCon to meet Kurt Vonnegut.” 

She turns her head to press a kiss to his shoulder, “Don’t worry, honey. Your secret is safe with me.” 

-x-

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Sunflower: Book 1, Chapter 10

Tom Hiddleston x OFC Series rated: M Chapter warnings: Tom sticks his foot in his mouth some? AN: The baby chicks are a week and a half old! All 5! I know no one cares but that's why this is a few hours late lol Chapter 9, Masterlist, Chapter 11

~~~~~~~<3

Mia hated looking at apartments. It was disgusting how quickly Tom had gotten apartment tours lined up. She didn’t even remember him making the calls but his phone went off in text after text through the early morning. A never ending ping of appointment notifications.

“How did you get so many set up so fast?” Mia was tired and they’d only looked at the fist one. 

She was envious of Sally, hanging out with her neighbor and probably preparing to go swimming right about now. Getting in the pool before the heat of the day had a chance to really sink it’s claws in for the day and soaking the day away sounded far better than driving from one end of the Vegas metro to the other, looking at apartments she could never afford. 

“Luke.” Tom admitted. 

It wasn’t taking long at all for Mia to learn that Luke was far more than just his publicist. They had worked together for long enough that a true friendship had formed between the two men. There was little doubt that if Tom ended his career tomorrow Luke would continue to be his friend. 

“He’s not mad at you?” 

The highway traffic was pretty light, everyone was either asleep still or already at work. It made driving a relaxing distraction. With her mind occupied and her eyes on the road, it made it easier to talk to him.

“Oh, he’s mad.” Tom laughed and Mia couldn’t help the fact that she liked the sound of it. “The man’s made it his mission to be my personal nanny- heaven knows I need one sometimes.”

“To keep you from running off to Vegas and marrying the first girl you see?” She forced a smile, refusing to let her sour mood taint his day. 

“For the record, you were not the first girl I saw- I do remember that much.” It was Mia’s turn to laugh, thankful that he hadn’t taken offense. 

The laugh was true, despite her mood. It felt good to laugh with him. Somehow, though she hated what they were going to do she was enjoying the drive. She was enjoying the simple time with him. 

Tom continued, “but yes, he tends to keep me on a much needed leash. Without him I’d miss interviews, be late for auditions. I probably wouldn’t be in the right country half the time.” 

“You can’t be that bad.” She pulled up to a gate as they neared an apartment complex. 

It was much more modest than the first one but the area looked nice enough. There was a gate that worked. Every apartment in her price range either had a broken gate or one that rolled open automatically when a generic sensor was triggered. 

Reaching out, she pressed the buzzer and waited. “What do I tell them?” 

“Give my surname.” Tom whispered back. “Our surname.” 

Mia rolled her eyes. Technically she still had steps to do if she was going to take his name. They hadn’t talked about it yet but she wasn’t sure if she would change her name. That was a lot of work for a temporary marriage. 

What if it wasn’t temporary?

~~~~~<3

“What do you think?” Tom Asked. 

The manager of the complex stood by the front door, having completed the tour, giving them space to discuss . 

The grounds had everything she could ask for. It had everything she would want and then some, including a small convince store type set up in the office lobby that reminded her a lot like what could be found in the hotel lobbies. 

There were three pools, a playground far nicer than the one at her current complex and the school was close. Mia could see the complex playground, complete with children playing on it from the balcony. 

The manager assured them that the noise wouldn’t be a problem because each unit was fairly sound insulated. Mia wasn’t worried about the sound though, being a parent herself. Kid noise was reassuring in a way. It ment there would be kids for Sally to play with.

The kitchen was large enough to cook in. Three of her kitchens could fit in it. Hell, three of her current apartments could fit in this one. That really wasn’t saying a lot, her apartment was small and cramped. There was hardly room to cook or move in the apartment. The only reason it didn’t feel claustrophobic was the lack of furniture in general. 

Okay, that was an exaggeration but it felt like it. The space was far better set up, making it feel even larger simply due to efficency. There were closets throughout, ensuring there would be places to store things out of sight. There even was a closet on the balcony to store patio furniture should she need for a storm or maybe she could put a chest freezer out there.

There were possibilities in this apartment. 

The bedrooms were large, not just the master. Sally would have room to play in her room and in the living room. There were two bathrooms, one in the hall between the bedrooms and a private ensuite. Mia would be able to have a bathroom not littered with toys and seemingly perpetually spilled water.

“How much is it?” There was no way in hell the apartment was under 2k a month but she hoped it was under three. It was so hard to feel good about it but this apartment was nice. 

She could see Sally playing here. She could see Sally starting school here. But she could also see the year ending and Sally having to move away from here too. Maybe, if she saved everything she could, she could buy Sally a second year here. Unless there was a drastic improvement in her career, if things didn’t work out with Tom there was no way Sally would spend her childhood living in apartments like this one. 

“Mia, I can afford to do a year here- how much it is dosen’t matter.” 

“Is there a problem Mrs. Hiddleston?” Tom waved off the leasing manager’s question. 

“She’s just feeling a little anxious, please give us a moment longer?” 

“Of course- you certainly don’t have to make a decision now however, if I may say, these units tend to fill fast. I can hold it as a curtesy for a few days without commitment but not any longer than that. I do think you and your wife would be a lovely addition to the community. And with our onsite-”

“If we could have just a few moments longer?” Tom suspected she knew who he was. 

If she was a fan, he appreciated her attempt to play it cool and respect his private life. If she didn’t know him though, she was just a pushing leasing manager and that was even worse. Either way, she was starting to step on a nerve. The intrusion into his life, his conversations, was quickly becoming something he was growing tired of. 

“Yes, of course.” She made her way back to the entry door where she once again took up her post, much to Tom’s relief.

“Let’s walk around again?” Tom took Mia’s hand in his and when she didn’t pull away, he led her back into the heart of the unit. 

He walked her through the open living space and into the Master bedroom. They looked again at closets, drawers and showers. With her hand in his, they admired the lighting, all on dimmer switches and the amount of storage space.

~~~~~<3

“Are you tired of driving?” They had looked at three more apartments, only stopping for a fast food lunch. She had driven them from end to end of the greater Las Vegas area.

“I don’t mind it.” She did, a little but it wasn’t like she’d be doing this much driving every day. She needed the distraction to occupy herself anyway. 

“I’ve got reservations for us for dinner- It’s for the three of us but I can cancel it if you’d rather. Or?”

“Arn’t you worried about more people seeing us?” 

Tom shrugged. “I”m not going to hide you or Sally, our marriage. I’m not ashamed.”

“And yet you are hell bent on moving us into a fancier apartment.” The words were out before she could check herself. 

“I’m not doing that because I’m ashamed-” She cut him off. 

“Are you sure? Not a single part of you is ashamed to be seen in the cheap part of town? Worried that someone will snap a picture of you walking up those steps? That they’ll make up some story that you’re secretly visiting hookers or using drugs or who knows what low lives can’t afford a nice apartment.” 

The words cut her as she spat them out. Each bitter slice was fueled by exhaustion and heat but more than anything, it was fueled by insecurity. 

Tom sat back, waiting for her to finish. She was on the attack again, not for the first time that day but this time, there wasn’t any denying it. 

The whole situation made her scared. He was asking a lot, he knew that. It was expected that she would struggle. Hell, he was asking her to stay married to a man she didn’t know and to trust her future in him. Again, he reminded himself how important it was to give her grace. 

But everything happened for a reason, right? 

“Do you want to know why I am so hell bent on getting you to move?” Tom tried, and failed, to mind his tone. “It’s because you had no food thanks to the maintenance crew eating it. It’s because I watched a goddamn cockroach crawl out of the refrigerator. From what I have seen, that’s not on you. You’ve got what food you had on bloody lockdown. Bags in containers and bins.”

“That’s reality!” She spat back, fingers gripping the wheel tightly. 

“It’s your reality.” Tom snapped back. “But it dosen’t have to be. All I’m asking for is you to trust me, just a fucking little bit like you did Friday night. I know you’re scared.” 

Mia didn’t answer. There wasn’t a lot she could say. They drove in silence nearly the whole way back to her apartment. 

Tom watched her as she drove, giving her space in her silence. There was so much he wanted to say but if he said too much, he feared he would just push her away. He feared he had already said too much anyway. 

He wasn’t dumb, he knew people lived in poverty. It wasn’t some secret that poverty was a problem both in his home nation and in America. He knew it wasn’t a issue limited to developing countries but it was something else to see it in person, to live it in a way, even for such a short time. 

It was easy to forget just how privileged his upbringing was. 

Mia cut the engine after parking in her assigned spot in front of the complex. Tom reached for the door but hesitated as she just sat there. His hand fell away from the door and he waited for some sort of direction. 

In the driver’s seat, Mia sat taking deep breaths. Her eyes were fixed on the steering wheel as seconds ticked on. Tears glittered in her eyes, reflecting the exterior lights of the building.

“I liked the second one.” She whispered. It felt like she was admitting defeat and it took everything in her to fight back the tears. But it felt good to say it too. “How much is that one?”

“You don’t need to know.” Tom answered. “But I will tell you it’s not the most expensive of the ones we looked at. They’re going to give us a discount for paying for the year upfront too.” 

“It’s closer to wor,k too.” Mia tried to focus on the positive as she willed her eyes to dry out. 

He nodded. “I thought that may be a positive.”

She had told him the night before that she had no intention of quitting her job. It had been important to her that he understood that. No part of her wanted to take advantage of him or his money. Accepting help from him was hard for her and she had full intention of carrying her weight as best she could. 

He appreciated that more than he cared to admit. The universe gave him a wife and he was prepared to accept whatever came, within reason. There were people in the world who would have jumped at the opportunity to marry him for their own selfish reasons. 

“I’ll have Luke make the arrangements.” Tom took a deep breath before stepping out into what he feared was a field of landmines. “I’ll have him arrange movers too, when we know when.”

Her lease wasn’t up for another four months but he had insisted that the move take place sooner. There would be fees for breaking her lease but that didn’t matter to Tom. He was prepared to pay whatever, within reason, to have his wife and step daughter living somewhere safe and clean

Wife and step daughter- what a thought that was? There were things he thought he may find in Las Vegas during this trip but that wasn’t on the list. How he hoped it wouldn’t be something he regretted. 

“What do we need to replace to ensure you don’t bring any bugs into the new apartment?” Though he was acting as if it wasn’t a concern, he wasn’t made of money either. 

Mia opened the car door and took a deep breath. They were doing this and she needed to stop fighting it. Stop fighting him but it was so damn hard. 

“There are probably bugs living in the couch, the TV and the kitchen appliances- not your kettle but I try not to think about what can’t be cleaned in the coffee machine or air fryer.”

“Okay,” Tom kept a mental tally. The couch didn’t surprise him- it was clearly old and not terribly comfortable anyway. “What about the beds?” 

“They’re older but they should be fine. There’s no rips or tears in them.”

~~~~~<3~~~~~<3

Tom’s hands shook as he buttoned his shirt. This was happening. He was doing this. They were doing this. The suit was his own, one from his small supply of luggage but that had felt right somehow. It was a left over from the press event he had been leaving, not worn but packed just in case. It always was good to have options. 

Just in case. 

It was as if he knew.

As if the universe had planned for this moment just for him. 

As if it was destiny.

Tom grabbed his glass from the dressing table in front of him and drained it of of whiskey. His head swam and he knew he would be sick in the morning. It was worth it though. He was having the time of his life. 

The glass bottle clacked against the rim of the cup as he refilled his glass and poured another. He’d had too much but he needed more. He needed to steady his hands and his heart and his mind. 

His future was waiting for him.

~~~~~<3

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