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bl597 · 4 years

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requested by my dear @whack-ed ♡: "não resisti e vou escrever isso em pt, pq sim kkkkkk. okay, então primeiro parabéns pelos 300 seguidores cara, isso é bom demais! pra comemorar junto eu queria um 🍒. Sonserina, bissexual, ela/dela, teatro/escrever/desenhar/costurar, cabelos e olhos castanhos, o cabelo liso e curtinho. cara, pra simplificar, eu me descreveria com essa musica "Good Girls - Elle King". é isso meu amor, e de novo, parabéns! vc merece <3"

I accidentally posted the request and I had to delete it jssjksskjdjd anywayssss obrigada meu amor!!! 🥺❤ eu ia responder em português, mas me sinto meio estranha já que tô meio acostumada em escrever em inglês sksjdjdkdjk espero que tu goste!! 💕

warnings: just fluff, really. it took me a very long time to finish it because i procrastinate quite a lot hahaha i need to stop doing it, i really suck at writing headcanons maybe i'll start writing blurbs instead of them hmmmm. a few curse words i guess :p, english is not my first language, so i'm sorry for any mistakes! requests are closed for now!!

my masterlist ♡

I ship you with... Fred Weasley!

okay so first of all

you + Freddie = chaos

you two started dating on your fifth year

and you and the twins always pulled prank together

Filch hates you three so much skshdkdjd

you always used the Marauders map - before the twins gave it to Harry - to sneak around in the middle of the night

and if you ever happened to be caught, you always found a way to get out of this

because come on

you probably study theater and you're an amazing actress

so you could always come up with an excuse for why you were outside bed at past cutfew

not that the teachers actually believed it tho

and Fred just thought you were bloody brilliant because?????

how could he not!!

and he always smiles like a fool when you try to convince the teachers that you did nothing wrong

even though the strong smell of dungbomb literally reports you guys

he didn't really like you at first

because you're a Slytherin and he thought you were an asshole just like most of your housemates

but turns out that you're different from them

you're so unique and so you

with all your sarcasm and cheeky replies

he couldn't help but fall hard for you

so one day he just randomly asked you out

and you said yes bc you thought he was cool too

and also bc hes fred fucking weasley i mean?????

so after a little while you started dating

and oh boy is this man the best boyfriend ever

he always flirts with you, no matter how long you've been dating

because he loves the tiny little blush that spreads over your cheeks

Fred loves to cuddle you and to run his hands through your soft short hair

and omg your eyes

he swears he could spend the rest of his life just admiring them

because they're so beautiful!!!

he will always support you

either it's with your passion for theater

or you art

or anything you do

he loves it all and always lets you know how much he appreciates them and you

he loves it when you read the things you wrote

because you write things so beautifully and so wonderfully

and the proud small smile you give him when he asks you to read to him is enough to improve his whole week

he also loves your drawings and how you put your heart in every single line of it

you once drew him and he almost cried a bit

you always cheer for him during quidditch matches

even though your housemates give you disappointed looks

you couldn't care less

you just wanted to support ya boy

ok so

about his family

they were extremely happy for Fred when he told them he was dating

but they were a bit apprehensive when they found out you were a little snake

because of the house bad fame and everything

but he was fast to calm them down and say you weren't like the other Slytherins

and didn't give a shit about blood statuses or some shit like that

so they invited you to spend a week at the Burrow

to get to know you better and to make sure you were a good person for Freddie

and in the very first minutes you spent there

you managed to steal everyone's heart

you got along pretty well with everyone

and they simply loved you almost as much as Freddie boy does

you and Molly would sit down and talk for hours while she teaches you how to knit

she gets even more excited when she learns you know how to sew

anyways

in less than one week, you unofficially became a Weasley :D

Fred loves you and he was extremely happy to see his family loved you too

his family is everything to him and their approval of your relationship was very important to him

I ship you with... Sirius Black!

ben barnes is such a cutie

well lets begin shall we

Sirius is head over heels for you

no one can deny it

you'd be just breathing and he'd be like

ohmygod shes so cute hskshsdjdjksajjdjdks

and you two are like the cutest badass couple ever

but at first it was very completely different

simply because you're a snake and he's a lion

and he hated the Slytherin house because of his family

he hated every single person in Slytherin, and he wasn't really ashamed of that

poor baby he deserved a better family than those assholes :(

one day he happened to accidentally bump into you

and he was going to help you

bc his family was shitty but they taught him some manners

but he abruptly stopped when he saw the green in your robes

and he said something rude and left

but you definitely did not stay quiet

so you just argued with him

and told him to go to hell ooops

and he was like :O

and then you left with your classmates bc you were going to be late to Divination

and Sirius was fucking intrigued

i mean???????

and then when they arrived at the Gryffindor common room

Remus scolded him for being rude to people, specifically Slytherins

and told him to apologize for his childishness

and Sirius was like "hahahaha nice joke Moony"

but he realised Remus was being serious

and he was kinda confused bc??? why is he defending the enemies???

anyways

he somehow convinced Sirius to talk to you

which he did, but whining like a child when their parents don't give them a new toy

you thought he was going to say some shit like that day

so you were with your wand in hand, ready to jinx the shit out of him if he did something

that gladly didn't happen

you were extremely confused and you thought it was a prank

but you saw it wasn't

so you accepted his forced apologies

and after some kinda weird moments of you talking

you decided to be not enemies

you weren't friends yet but weren't enemies either

well I'll start the part where you two are dating or else it'll get longer than it already is lol

when you started dating

your housemates were like

what the fuck??

and you just kinda ignored them bc you were actually happy with Sirius

and let me teLl you

Sirius is a smoll bean even though he has this badboy fame

he loves to see the things you wrote or drew

he absolutely loves them and always tells you how talented you are and how proud of you he is

I don't even have to say that you two pull pranks together

you just like to mess around together

bc you like each other's company

and being chaotic is a bonus

i mean, who wouldn't want to pull pranks with Sirius and mess around with him??

when you came out as bi to him he was very supportive and was ready to beat the shit out of anyone who dared to say shit about you or your sexuality

Sirius says lgbtq+ rights and fuck jk rowling

anyways

he was so excited when he transformed into Padfoot in front of you for the first time

and he was so proud of himself when you smiled widely and showered him with questions about it

yay

you always stayed with him after the full moon and helped madam Pomfrey

bc you wanted to see your baby alright :(

Sirius is really into pda and 100% would randomly kiss you in public

just because he can lol

you love each other too much

you're the best couple ever change my mind

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mimirexx · 5 years

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Late Night Visit

Alright since I’ve been lacking motivation to write out my original story, i started a new one and finished it in just one or two days (yay?)

I think starting something new actually gave me a boost and it turned out into this short thing!

Also special thanks to @snk-characters-thoughts for reviving my love for this ship 💕💕

It most likely is super messy and shitty and short but its been too long since i last posted something so here we go!

Read here or on ao3

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After a failed mission outside the walls, the soldiers returned home. Far away from the titans and behind protecting walls. They’ve made many losses, uncountable soldiers wounded and injured. The mission failed and it was better they retreated before they’d lose much more precious soldiers.

Sasha got injured badly after she tried to save Connie from a titan that came too close. The titan raised his hand and pretty much slapped her against the ground like a fly after she managed to push her friend out of the way. Connie ended the job and helped Sasha onto his horse to get her out of danger afterwards.

It was risky and dangerous but they eventually made it back and were now getting settled in the headquarters. Mikasa took care of Sasha’s wounds, which luckily weren’t as severe as expected. She had a broken leg and bruises over her arm and face- somehow, she managed to fall just right. That didn’t mean she wasn’t in pain, though. Everything hurt, moving around was draining and, worst of all, she hasn’t gotten any food since their return.

“Hnngg...” She shuffled uncomfortably on the bed, groaning with each time she moved a muscle. Her gaze flicked over to the window, at the bright stars and moon, illuminating her room.

It probably was already after midnight but she wasn’t sure, she lost track of time. After what felt like hours, the door of her room opened and someone came inside. Her eyes immediately shot wide open and she licked her lips. That smell... it could only be one thing.

“Is that-?!“

“Meat, yes.” The person, who turned out to be Levi, cut in shortly and approached her bed. “Everyone’s already sleeping and I knew you would be hungry. It’s not much but it should be enough to satisfy your needy ass for now.”

The brunette began panting with anticipation, her drool literally rolling down her chin. “Th-That’s really considerate of you, c-captain!”

Levi placed the tray on the nightstand so he could help Sasha sitting up and placed the pillow behind her back for support. “Whatever, just eat up.” The tray was placed onto Sasha’s lap and the soldier immediately began munching on the luscious meat gleefully. Her eyes pretty much gleamed with how good it was to eat juicy, delicious meat.

Levi was watching her a little disgusted, but he just sighed and reached down to pull Sasha’s hair out of her face. “You eat like a pig.” He commented as he took the hair tie from the nightstand drawer and tied up the girl’s hair. Her hair shouldn’t get into the food, at very least.

Sasha didn’t answer Levi- probably didn’t even hear him either, and, suddenly, she had the strength to move her arms around so wildly. She was way too focused on her heavenly meal and wasn’t interested in anything else. It actually was just a bowl of soup, some bread and a cup of hot tea, together with the extra meat on the side. To Sasha, this was the best meal she had in forever.

While Sasha was pretty much moaning with each bite, Levi folded his arms over his chest and watched her almost amusedly. It was quite funny to watch Sasha eating as if she was close to starving. Even if she was always like that, this time it was different.. somehow. Levi felt different.

“Agh-!!” Sasha suddenly exclaimed and opened her mouth to fan her burned tongue. “Hothothot!!!” She exclaimed in distress, looking up at Levi helplessly with her tongue stuck out.

Raising a brow, Levi tilted his head lightly and let out a short snort. Then he reached down and ruffled the girl’s hair gently, “That’s your own fault, brat. Tea is hot.” He stated as a fact which made Sasha chuckle. She leaned up into his touches, liking the little affection she got a lot.

“There’s something else hot here too...” The girl muttered to herself. Levi’s hand stopped at that and he eyed her suspiciously, but Sasha just chuckled and held up her bowl. “My soup!” She exclaimed and slurped down the rest of it quietly. Lucky for her, the bowl covered most of her face so there was no way for Levi to have seen the faint blush on her cheeks.

By the time Sasha lowered her bowl again, the tea’s temperature cooled down just enough to be drunk without getting burned another time. When she finally was done with everything and hadn’t left a single crumble on the tray, Sasha leaned back with an satisfied sigh and placed her hand on her belly. “That was so good... Thank you, captain.”

After Levi took the tray back, Sasha carefully scooted back into a laying position. She nuzzled her head into the pillow, her gaze staying on Levi while he took the tray and headed over to the door without losing another word.

But before he could reach out for the doorknob, the brunette spoke up timidly, “Captain? It’s really boring here, would you mind to stay?”

“Tch.” Levi sounded annoyedly, shooting her a glare from over his shoulder. “Do I look like a clown to you? Do you expect me to entertain you or what?”

“Wha-?“ She immediately shook her head before averting her gaze somewhere else. “No, sir. I just.. kinda feel lonely. I don’t want to stay here alone..” She admitted, fiddling with her blanket, “Please? Just this once. I’ll... clean up the stables, if you want!”

Her offer was turned down by Levi’s flicking wrists, “You’ve got a broken leg, it’ll take some time for you to walk again, idiot.” Nonetheless, Levi walked back over to her and took a seat on the bed as he placed the tray back on the nightstand.

Sasha’s eyes lit up and she quickly made space on her bed for Levi to lay down next to her, giving him a huge, happy grin. The raven only stared at her like she was a maniac- which she most definitely was- and folded his arms over his chest. “No.” He said firmly.

Then Sasha pouted, her eyes becoming sad and her lip stuck out, even quivering a little. “Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with sprinkles on top and a-“

“-Ugh..“ Levi growled and slapped his hand over her mouth, narrowing his eyes deeply. “You’re a pain in the ass, I hope you know that.” He growled under his breath. Feeling Sasha smiling behind his hand made him eventually gave in, and Levi hesitantly got into bed and laid down beside her.

His gaze stayed fixated on the ceiling and Sasha could tell he was feeling awkward. She didn’t want him to, so she slowly inched closer until she could wrap an arm around his torso and looked up at him. The raven looked utterly confused at the soldier, his brows knitted together.

“What’re you doing?” He questioned which made Sasha get even closer.

“It’s called cuddling, you’ll like it.” Placing her head on Levi’s chest, Sasha closed her eyes slowly.

“I know what cuddling is, brat. I mean-“ He stopped himself from finishing his sentence when he saw Sasha getting comfortable on his chest. She snuggled and nuzzled him, holding onto him while Levi just stared down at her. Though, the longer she was laying there, the sooner Levi just accepted it and reached down to wrap one arm around her in return. Not even Levi had the heart to pull away anymore.

“...Goodnight.” He murmured softly, turning over to blow out the candle before finally relaxing. They just came back from the mission this afternoon, everyone needed some rest.

When morning rolled around, Levi was already awake. He’s been awake for a while but didn’t move or talk to not wake the sleeping soldier. He found himself playing with the ends of Sasha’s hair, though, to give himself something to do.

Soon, the brunette woke up with a yawn, her arms squeezing Levi. Her eyes blinked open slowly and she laid there lazily for a while longer. It was too early to wake up or do anything.

She could feel that Levi still was in bed with her and turned her head over to look at him. “Morning, captain. How did you sleep?” She chirped, resting her chin on his chest as she watched him.

The raven stared at her and just rolled his eyes at her question. “Fine. Now let me get up, I’ve got shit to do.” He ordered and tried pushing himself up but Sasha was faster and kept him down.

“Not now. I wanna cuddle some longer!” She whined like a child which earned herself a flick on the forehead, making her whine.

“That was enough cuddling for you. There’s work waiting for me.” He repeated and pushed her back, only to be embraced once again. “Oi!”

“Levi, please.” Sasha dropped the title and looked at him with big eyes and a pout. “Just a little longer.”

With a heavy sigh, Levi plopped back into the pillow and glared at the brunette. “You’re even more annoying than Jaeger.” He commented as Sasha just smiled.

“Let’s play a game.”

Levi snarled, “Are you fucking-“

“C’mon. If you win, I’ll let you go.” She offered.

The raven grumbled something under his breath, but ended up nodding nonetheless. The faster he got out, the faster he could finish his work.

“Alright, you need to close your eyes and guess what I’m drawing on your chest.”

“That’s the most stupid game I’ve ever heard of.“ Levi deadpanned.

“Just close your eyes, grumpy.” Sasha giggled, yet a little scared in case she crossed the line with her little nickname.

Levi didn’t look pleased- then again, when did he even look pleased to begin with? He was still frowning and for a second, Sasha thought he’d slap her. Instead, he just exhaled and closed his eyes to just get done with it.

The girl smiled and pressed her finger against Levi’s chest. Before she could even do anything, Levi spoke up, “Meat.”

“Hey!” Sasha complained, “I didn’t even start yet! That didn’t count!”

The raven would’ve rolled his eyes but, since they were closed, he just clicked his tongue annoyedly.

Huffing, Sasha placed her hand back on the captain’s chest and glanced up at him. She sucked in a breath and carefully leaned up so she was facing him. Her eyes traveled all over the handsome features of his face and stopped at his lips.

“Get done with it already, brat.”

Heart thumping against her chest, Sasha sucked in a breath and trailed her hand up so she was cupping Levi’s cheek in her palm and could tilt his head. She saw the change in his expression; his brows suddenly lifted all the way up, his lips parting as if to say something.

But before he had any chance to do so, Sasha quickly closed the gap between them by pressing her lips against his. She shut her eyes tightly, tense, and maybe a little scared- a lot scared.

The kiss barely lasted a few seconds before the brunette pulled back again, her cheeks tinted in a beautifully deep shade of red. She looked down and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

Silence.

It was unbearable. She couldn’t tell if she should be happy or just made the biggest mistake of her entire life. This was Levi, after all. Cold, stoic, mean Levi.

On the other hand, Levi also was really compassionate and had a good heart. Deep inside, he wasn’t as mean as he let people think. Sasha saw him interacting with animals or people who were close to him, like Hanji and Erwin. It was a hard shell with a core made of pure gold.

And that was what made these feelings inside her grow from day to day. She caught herself watching him more often than she should, worrying about his well being and his health. Levi soon grew to be such an important person in her life and she didn’t believe it was coincidence that, out of all people, Levi was the one who came to bring her food. After all, he could’ve just told anyone to do it.

Not to mention that he actually agreed to sleeping next to her and agreed to playing this stupid game with her. He didn’t say anything when she called him by his name, not even when she gave him a nickname... Something deep inside her told her that maybe, just maybe, Levi didn’t only saw her as a soldier. Maybe, to him, she meant just as much.

But now that she really kissed him and made the first step, Sasha was scared. What did she even think? Levi was her captain, her superior, in no way it’d be acceptable for them to be.. a thing, would it? Her heart took over her mind and now she didn’t know what to do anymore.

How could she even be so stupid? Levi was the captain of the Survey Corps! He had responsibilities and duties and if people found out he started something with one of his soldiers, they’d think wrong of him and probably lose their respect towards him.

Also, she had a feeling he was pretty close with Hanji. She once heard him saying he bathed and cleaned her repeatedly and always saw them together. It didn’t have to mean anything, of course, but Sasha didn’t have a good feeling about that. Sure, she was very close with Connie too, but she didn’t bathe him...

“...I’m sorry, captain. I got ahead of myself.” She muttered once the silence became too tense to bear any longer and swallowed the lump in her throats. “You.. can leave, I won’t bother you anymore...”

With that, Sasha pulled herself away from Levi and carefully scooted to the other side of the bed to give Levi space. She turned around so her back was facing him and stared at the wall in front of her.

Levi was still so quiet and Sasha began trembling. What would happen now? Would he hit her because she took advantage of him like that? Or would he let her clean the whole castle for weeks? Or maybe he’d kick her out of the military..? What would happen?! She didn’t know.

After what seemed like forever, she heard shuffling on the bed and shut her eyes tightly, preparing herself for what was about to come. She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder, turning her over, and soon after, felt the same hand cupping her chin. The girl shivered, her eyes gleaming with tears.

“C-capt-“ She wasn’t even able to start her sentence and already felt these soft lips connecting with her own. She hiccuped against Levi’s lips and shut her eyes tightly as she turned around and clutched onto Levi’s shirt.

This time, the kiss lasted much longer. It made Sasha’s heart flutter and made all the negative thoughts fade away in a matter of an heartbeat. The tears that formed in her eyes escaped and dripped down her cheeks, all the way down.

A couple of good moments later, Levi broke the kiss, his hands coming up to hold Sasha’s face, his thumbs gingerly rubbing away her tears. “I will leave because I’ve got work to get done,” He stated, “But I can assure you, I’ll come be back in the evening. And then I’ll be the one bothering you.”

Sasha laughed weakly at that and nuzzled his palms with closed eyes. “Sounds fair.” Her heart calmed down again and her whole body began relaxing. This felt right, it felt comfortable and it was such a big burden that got lifted off her shoulders. She was just overthinking it all in her panic. Finally, Sasha was at peace.

“Just rest now. I’ll tell one of the brats to get you breakfast.” He leaned up to press a long kiss on Sasha’s forehead before he got up from the bed and fixed the blanket around her a little. “And wash up, you smell like shit.” He said a little more seriously but Sasha could see he didn’t really mean it and just wanted her to get clean. Maybe that’d get her more cuddles.

A smile, “Will do.”

With a last nod, Levi lifted the tray he brought with him last night and walked over to the door. He opened it, walked out, and gently closed it behind himself.

The brunette watched him leave and stared at the door with a big smile.

She felt like an idiot, a happy idiot.

#shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #levi ackerman #sasha braus #rivasasha #snk #aot #this is really short im sorry #but its better than nothing i guess #it was fun to write this tho #i love these two #theyre not appreciated enough #here we go at my bad attempt at writing smth again #my writing #ao3 #its basically just a bunch of fluff #with a tiny bit angst #so yeah

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gene-zane-strider-blog · 7 years

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Comfort

Notes: this should have been moxiety more davekat!!! yay!! so i wrote this and now i am 100% stable again. @the90sfreshestdude i wrote this for you fam. i kinda took my own discomfort and put it on karkat... sorry bro ;w;

also can i get a clap for no proofreading?

Warnings: to much fluff tbfh

The moon glistens high above the horizon of the sea, the suns’ now gray tinted light reflecting off the dull blue water. Stars compliment the moon, surrounding the over-sized rock.

You keep your toes in the cold water, the waves sometimes barely touching your ankles. You have your arms wrapped around your legs, keeping them together. It was one of those nights, where Dave, Terezi, Vriska, and John where all hanging out along with you but when Dave showed up everyone was like ‘holy shit it’s the party gangster!’ and you got excluded.

Like normal.

Not to mention they were watching those god-awful horror movies, which freaked you out so much you went to your room after the first movie and cried your eyes out. They were simply too much for you. Maybe it was how every single movie started out with someone dying, or all the jump scares, or maybe it was even how loud Dave turned the TV up until it sounded like a damn movie theater, which you hated. Everything about Dave just being an overall dick and not ever asking what you wanted to do made you angry. It’s the minority vs. the majority. Who’s going to win? Obviously not you. Besides, who in hell would care about some mutant troll who was almost left for dead on Alternia, and after settling down on Earth, was left alone, with the memory of the game and torment he endured?

Defiantly not Strider.

No, no. Dave certainly didn’t go through the awful shit you did. He must have lived in a mansion, with millions of… maids, and butlers, and the most amazing and expensive furniture. He had only the most comfortable bed sheets, the largest bathroom, was homeschooled, and lived in a sparkling queen naure and god damn it you’re crying again.

“KK?” A voice rings out from behind you, making you jump up. Luckily, your tears fall into the waves and slowly lost their red color.

“What do you want?” You question. The ocean was your only friend. You keep on telling Terezi not to invite this douche over but she does it anyway.

Strider sits down beside you, taking off his shoes and socks, dipping his feet in with you. Quickly, you manage to get yourself to man up and stop crying like a wimp. “I want to apologize.”

“Apologize for what?” You speak, resting your chin on your knees and staring at the ocean.

“For… uh, have being such an asshole to you ever since we managed to stabilize on Earth,” Dave sighs. “You know, I’m still kinda traumatized from the game.”

“No shit, Sherlock.” You hiss silently.

“Don’t act like you’ve been trying to cope.”

You look over a little, straining your eyes. Just barely, though. Not to the point where it hurts, but to the point where you have to stop in a couple of minutes. “We’ve all been trying to get our fucking lives together, Dave. Why do you think I decided to live near the ocean? It’s pretty, and it reminds me of the way things used to be. Relaxing and calm. But those days are long gone now, aren’t they? We aren’t ever getting our old lives back, aren’t we? Wouldn’t you want to go back to when you were a wrig- kid?”

Dave looks over. You can see his eyes staring into yours even through his dark shades. “Fuck no dude. My childhood was awful.”

You bring your feet out of the sea and onto the sand. “Wh- what? You didn’t live in a luxurious mansion?”

“Hah! That’s a joke, right?” Dave crosses his arms.

You shake your head and he laughs. “Dude, I lived at the top of a shitty apartment complex and there were puppets everywhere. It was dirty, paint was chipped off, brick was exposed, and bro was hella abusive. It sucked.”

You stare, amazed. Everything you thought was just destroyed just in front of you. Dave’s hair looked lighter in the moon than it did during the day. It was a lot messier than you remember it ever being.

“… oh,” you look back at the sea, slowly extending your legs back in.

“I didn’t come out here just to apologize,” Dave sighs, running his hands through his hair. A slight smile comes to his face. “Heh, it’s really dark out here.”

You notice a bit of hesitation in his voice. “Is something wrong?”

Dave shake his head. “No, it’s just… really dark.”

“Then take off your glasses.”

He remains silent for a split second before popping up. “H-Heh yeah! I should ha- do, that.”

The blonde takes off his sunglasses and hooks them onto his shirt, revealing bright blood-red eyes. They shine like rubies in a flashlight’s glow, a subtle bit of burgundy in certain places.

You end up staring aimlessly at Dave, who eventually notices and looks at you. Both of you two end up in a staring contest unknowingly. Something about him keeps drawing you in, unable to pull away. Your thoughts run rapid, pointing out the small features in Dave’s face. Freckles dot the edges of his eyes and ears, and there is just a tiny bit of a shadow under his eyes, representing the fact that he still isn’t getting quite enough sleep. You haven’t either, but the last time you looked in the mirror, you were pretty sure you didn’t have any noticeable bags. Of course they come with age, but you and the others were still young; your mid-twenties.

Dave eventually scoots a bit closer. He closes the gap between you two ever so slowly, causing your face to heat up a little as he is literally centimeters away from your face. He leans in slowly, and your mind goes on red alert. Holy shit he’s going to k-!

“Boop.” He whispers as he softly touches your nose with his finger. You stare in disgust as a large smirk shoots across his face.

“I fucking hate you, Strider.” You growl.

“You love me.”

“Damn it Strider, I can’t go one second without you ruining me, can I?”

He laughs and slowly pulls you in, touching your lips gently. You fall into the slight grip he keeps on your lips, and you interlock your hand with the one he has on your cheek. He backs up for a millisecond before you go in for another kiss, surprising Dave (a little) and passionately kissing you back, breaking apart a minute later.

You shake your head and let out a small chuckle, looking back at the sea. “God damn it, Dave,” You comment as he laughs- that sweet, sweet sound of joy that he does so often around you.

You’re pretty sure you can get used to it.

#davekat #homestuck #dave strider #karkat vantas

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mercer-safehouse · 7 years

Note

You've been kind of inactive lately, how's life going??

Thank you for checking in ;u;

I’m gonna put this under a readmore because I have a tendency to babble

TL;DR tho: not great, ups and downs, but i’m surviving

So, first and foremost, my biggest issue lately is drawing--I literally am incapable of drawing because i have no privacy because of the household situation (too many people, we gave our bedroom door to the other people in the house), and the kittens literally will not stay off of me and it freaks me the fuck out because I put them down to even stand up and they’re back on me before I can stand. And worse, they won’t stay off my tablet, which I have to keep on my lap, because my computer situation involves me sitting at the foot of my mom’s bed and keeping my laptop on a tray table.

I know this sounds overdramatic but I literally cannot live without drawing and I feel like I’m dying. But there’s nothing I can do. There’s nowhere I can go. I can’t even sit outside to scribble because it’s gotten cold even for Florida and my blood’s thinned down and I have no fat to store heat and the cold makes me dissociate because of PTSD related to harsh winters in Michigan.

The cats repeatedly crawling onto my lap despite my attempts to free myself freaks me out really badly because as much as I love cuddling, when I need to move, I need to move. I can’t be trapped or I start freaking out.

When I do manage to start drawing, I get about halfway through a shitty scribble before the kittens find me and get on my tablet and my mood IMMEDIATELY crashes and I have a breakdown and it’s awful.

I keep forgetting to take my meds on time and now I have to live with the stress of mom having to pay for my meds because I got booted off my insurance because apparently they’re salty about me getting lawyers to help me get on disability because I am growing more and more incapable of functioning like a normal human being.

I need to be isolated for hours on end so I can do creative things like draw and write because I’m super uncomfortable doing those things openly because those things are very personal to me. I have no way to do so and I’m being called to do something for mom every five minutes. I need isolation but the current way we’re living does not allow that. My sister is too lazy to help mom out, so mom and I are depended on to take care of EVERYTHING, including my sister’s cat and many birds.

I’m trying desperately to deal with the fact that that same sister did horrible, horrible things to me as a child and she refuses to acknowledge it but I remember them, but I’m trying to move on anyways because I know she has issues of her own and she’s actually trying to improve but that doesn’t mean I will ever forgive her.

And then my brother, who I loved for my entire life, and my nephew, his son, are white supremacists, and have no place in my life.

My two closest siblings basically are people I can no longer be close to--in fact I no longer even care for my brother, at all. It’s like all that love just shriveled up and died in an instant. He called me delusional, he told me my “tender feelings” don’t matter, and, you know. He’s a fucking racist asshole and so is his son. They are dead to me.

My life has been turned on its head, I feel like, and my coping mechanism has been stolen from me.

Because I can’t draw, I want to die, and I feel worthless. I’ve got over four hundred followers and I have nothing to give them. I feel awful. They deserve better. You deserve better. I am sincerely sorry I haven’t been putting out art lately.

Another fucked up thing I’ve dealt with (the entire household has dealt with) is our neighbor’s cat, Abby, got hit by a car. Abby had been spending time over with us, and even ate dinner with our cats. We were all very attached, and her owners were just going to leave her in the fucking ditch, so we buried her with our cats.

Same neighbor no longer allows her diabetic cat inside because he pees all over the place. He can’t help it. We brought him inside a couple nights ago because it was nearly freezing temp. He hasn’t left since. My sister and her boyfriend have taken up the task of cleaning up after him.

Because he hasn’t been outside, the neighbors were curious, and one of them mentioned in passing that the neighbor lady who owns the cat was wondering if he crawled under their trailer to die and they didn’t want him stinking up the place.

So, we now have a diabetic cat to care for since the neighbors won’t. Mom thinks he’s only got a few weeks left. His name is Baby and he is very sweet. He doesn’t know what the litterbox is but that’s okay. He’ll learn, or he’ll be cleaned up after. It’s okay.

But we’re going to wind up burying another cat eventually. We’ve buried so many cats. Car incidents, distemper, a dog attack. I’m tired. My heart wants to harden or shrivel up or something but the rest of the cats need me, so I have to stay soft.

And I can’t talk to my therapist about it. Because I don’t have insurance. I can’t allow mom to pay for my appointments. Our roommate isn’t employed at present (recent employers treated him like shit so we all encouraged him to bail out) which means things are tight, but that’s okay. We’re managing. It’s close but we’ve got this.

In June things are going to get worse in the house because another sister of mine is moving in and that’s GREAT I’m looking forward to seeing her but we don’t have room.

We’ll make room, but it’s going to feel awful for me. And the worse it gets for me, the more I feel like damaged garbage who needs to be catered to constantly. Years of the first-mentioned sister gaslighting me has left me feeling like everything is my fault, basically. lmao

I need to visit my dad. He wants to be part of my life. But I can’t bring mom with me because that would be Awkward and mom is basically my lifeline. Dad will accept me. He’s fine with who I am. He loves me so much. And I miss him. But I’m terrified of going somewhere without my mom, who I feel most days keeps me sane.

It’s going to take half a year starting whenever the lawyers get me on disability benefits for me to actually get the money, which means I’m going to have to wait at least another half-year to visit my partner, who is an absolute patient angel but I feel awful for taking so long to see her even though she doesn’t blame me. She’s so good to me ;____;

But I AM getting out of the house soon because a friend’s family was able to foot the bill for a plane ticket to go see them and I’m terrified about that because YAY FRIEND I’M SO EXCITED but also no mom to keep me stable.

I’m a 21 person. I should be out of the house. I should have a family of my own. But I still crawl into my mom’s bed when I have a nightmare or when I want to cuddle because I’m having a bad time. I still need my mom to stop my sister from being awful to me because my sister doesn’t respect me like an adult.

I don’t feel like an adult. I depend on everyone around me even though I need total isolation for at least a few hours a day when I want to draw and it’s awful because I can’t have any of that.

And here I’m going to reiterate that my brother is a white supremacist because that is a recent revelation (though I’m not surprised, looking back) and it makes me so sick I want to die

I’m dealing with a ridiculous sort of dysphoria that has nothing to do with the usual kind I handle.

A tiny thing in comparison to the rest of the stuff above, but: tumblr’s antis freak me out so badly.

And on top of everything: the Tangerine Nightmare-elect

I’m passively suicidal but in no danger of actually going through with it, so like. I’m surviving. I actually kind of cleaned my room a tiny bit. I sweep little bits at a time. I’m trying. I’m just really tired and feel awful about not creating more.

#whine whine fuss fuss #animal death mention//#Anonymous

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