#I mean of course it doesn't change the fact that much like the abyss there's a Whole Lot of Bodies but

[catnipplot]

Sagau Genshin -but the characters can't agree what God you are

So just about every Sagau AU for Genshin agrees that every character and/or country/faction just accept the player as the Creator (or at least eventually, in the cases of the Imposter AUs). Yes, sometimes the different countries have conflicting lore connecting you to their archon, but that is as far as it goes. Which does not account for the different perspectives cultures from vastly different environments and traditions have.

So instead I porpose; Sagau where nobody agrees on who the player really is aside from a higher being. Either because of them not realizing their all controlled by the same person or they realize you are the same person, but disagrees on who you are.

To start lets address a character everyone skips over: The Heavenly Principles. There is nearly no canon-knowledge about her, so it is free reign. She is more aware than any other character, having not just awareness of this being a game, but having awareness since Gun Girls. She remembers Gun Girls and Honkai Impact, during which she was crushed by her awareness. She knows you are a player, but that doesn't matter. You are her Constant, whether you played the other games or not. Her Constant, her companion, her last anchor -when she feels you play genshin that first second, she attacks the twins to keep you connected to this world. While she doesn't share the truth with the rest of the world, Kiana might become the number one reason you isekai -and gain powers after arrival.

Now everyone else is just aware of you're influence, not the game.

Moonstadt has at first a few people actually thinking you are Venti -what with him being their god and not havin' been seen for so long-, but said archon quickly spread the word that this was not actually the case. Since then theories are running wild here, but at least they all agree you are one god. Some like Barbara, Kaeya, and Venti do think you are in fact the creator god. Lisa accidently started a rumor that you were started a rumor that you were basically an archon that was sealed away during the Archon War and Barbatos' soulmate as a joke, but the rumor mutated and now there are proofs to the point she believes it(Which makes a certain bard blush and stutter). Bennett is part of the group that thinks you are a Adventurer Archon, as you always use them as vessel when adventuring. Meanwhile Razor thinks you are the Guardian Spirit that was his childhood hero, a human raised by wolves like him, who ascended and returns to guide them during difficult times. And there are at least 50 other possible godhoods.(Think wall with strings If you 'descend' you will find a loyal fellowship regardless, but if you try to deny your godhood then that can only mean somebody erased your memories. So no worries, the theories will continue as a attempt to help you regain your 'true' past and punish whoever attacked you.

Liyue is much more structured; they all agree that you are the God of the Beginning. Not so much a Creator as a bringer of change who only appears at new beginnings -may it be their world, a new era or to fight the End of Days. Which of course makes everyone silently panic when your present gets known. They want to belief it's just a new era coming, but you use them to fight... Zhongli, just as his people, quietly spreads his network, searching for your 'true' enemy -the Abyss or the Fatui. They are ready to fight on your side regardless. Given this, Liyue might end up special when you isekai, as some characters will tread you as equal. But never forget that they see you as their last defense against Armageddon -they might speak to you like a friend, but you are so much more important.

Inazuma actually do not welcome you right away. They are seeking eternity, you bring change. But after the Traveler, who is recognized as your champion, saves them, they accept you. But the Traveler only tells them that you are 'his/her god'. So they consult the old books. They find a old, practically burned text on the Archon of Hope and Dreams. Beelzebul is devastated that she had apparently forgotten her childhood crush that died centuries before the Archon War, but had you returned? If so, you were clearly still reforming. If you descend, they welcome you at first open to you either staying or leaving to create your own city. But what is eternity without hope? Won't you reconnect with your old childhood friend?

Snezhnaya thinks you are a god connected to Visions, as you can use all Elements (even if through different vessels). Still there are pretty split at who you are. Most think you are either the Archon of Power or the Archon of Souls. Interestingly enough those two ideas give you vastly different backgrounds; The Archon of Power (Childe believes this) supposly was banished to the abyss after placing mortals over their fellow archons, while the Archon of Souls was imprisoned in Celestia and hidden from the other Archons since Creation. Either way you escaped. The Tsarista keeps quiet on the tropic, but would waste no efforts to bring you to her if you were to ever descend. She might even come to pick you up herself.

Sumeru meanwhile thinks you a Overseer to the Archons, meant to protect the balance between them in the world. You always did so from Celestia, with the Heavenly Principles as your Executer. But something happened. Members of Akademiya tend to think the Archons had fallen to the point you had to intervene yourself, while everyone else thinks there was a traitor in Celestia that forced you to flee and is responsible for the chaos appearing across the Teyvat. Still, to them you are the Judge of the Gods. Someone to be obeyed without questions. If you ever isekai, you might end up getting pressured to play the act, or they might think you have been corrupted and must be protected till your divinity restores.

Last, but not least, we have Aether and Lumine. Now regardless to which you chose, they hold the same option and loyalty to you. But they also look at the Teyvaters with pity; for a god you might be, you were not of this world. You were of their home world. Their beloved god who crossed worlds to save them when they were attacked at the beginning. Alas, this was not your world, which was why your powers are limited so much. If you descend they will conclude that Teyvat attacked you, caged you like the twins, forced you in a mortal form and messed with your memories -which neither sibling will ever forgive. You are their god after all, Teyvat had no right to you.

#genshin sagau #sagau x reader #sagau aether #sagau lumine #sagau brainrot #sagau zhongli #sagau ei #sagau venti

[rapifessor]

Have another post from this Chiori-obsessed blog:

I've been looking into some of the criticisms people have of this character, since I'd been hearing things and I wanted to know if those concerns were really valid. Long story short: they are.

People are understandably upset about the nerfs she's been receiving. It's pretty frustrating when we get characters like Neuvillette who are insane monsters, but then the devs turn around and relentlessly scrutinize and tweak others, like Chiori.

Chiori was nowhere near as strong as Neuvillette is currently and she's seemingly getting hit with nerf after nerf. It really makes you wonder if HoYo is even trying to balance the game, or if they're just playing favorites. Which, needless to say, would be incredibly unfair. Or maybe they really are just that stupid and have no idea what they're doing. Hard to say.

Anyway, this is not a doompost; rather, it's an attempt at a rational analysis of what Chiori's shortcomings are and what they mean for her success as a unit. As I said, I find most criticisms of her kit to be valid, but that doesn't mean Chiori is weak. Far from it.

The general consensus is that Chiori is a stronger version of Albedo. She has pretty much the exact same role, but she deals more damage than Albedo does, and doesn't have to deal with the cringe of her primary source of damage being killed by bosses all the time. In this sense, Chiori is a perfectly good unit who has a place in the meta.

The primary complaint isn't Chiori's power level, it's her lack of flexibility and the fact that she's essentially a rehash of an existing character. People dislike that Albedo is being powercrept, and that Chiori wasn't given a more unique design that doesn't limit her to mono Geo teams. That's all very understandable.

Now for the actual nerfs: removal of DEF snapshotting for Chiori's dolls, and of course the decrease in the burst multiplier. Plus the changes made to her Constellation in earlier beta versions. Personally I don't think these nerfs change much, although removing Chiori's ability to snapshot was cringe and the burst damage nerf seems unwarranted. 30% reduction in damage dealt is a bit much if all they wanted to do was reduce her Energy needs and make C2 better.

HoYo going out of their way to nerf the output of Chiori, when her only real strength is being able to deal a lot of damage, feels a bit like a slap in the face. Especially when they're doing that instead of addressing some of Chiori's key issues, like the lack of AoE on her dolls' attacks, or the fact that she can't reposition them because of her skill's relatively long cooldown. Not to mention, once again, her team restrictions.

What this all means is that Chiori is not a particularly good pull if you're looking to add value to your account or just trying to 36-star the Abyssal Spire for the first time. She can be pretty strong for new players, due to her raw damage that will help you breeze through early-game content, but for the average invested F2P, she's not great.

But also: if you're willing to do what it takes to make her good, Chiori will be good. It's a matter of playing her in the right team and giving her enough investment to put in work for you. If, like me, you're undeterred by Chiori's blandness and limitations, don't worry about all the doomposting. You'll be able to make her work, she's not a bad character by any means.

#rapifessor rambles #genshin impact #nerd shit #long post #analysis #genshin impact chiori #chiori genshin impact #chiori genshin #genshin chiori #chiori #genshin impact leaks #genshin leaks

[bullyberry]

((A bit of backstory on Penny & Stella's relationship but as I always like to do it's working backwards. So this is actually from when they stopped being friends.))

In only the span of a year Penny and Stella had gone from strangers to best friends, perhaps soul mates even. They knew more about one another then even their parents knew about them. They were as thick as thieves and closer then ivy grown around itself. Yet in the span of a few months things had changed. The introduction of others to their friendship twisted the entire thing. No longer was it just the two of them, now there were more and it felt like those new bodies were separating them. At least for Penny it did.

Even as they stood on the observatory walk way together, watching the stars with only each other. Penny felt a million miles away from their best friend. Their eyes lingered on the mousey brown hair on the fellow student rather then focused on the stars they usually adored so much.

Meanwhile Stella stared to the sky, stood as close to Penny as she could get, arm wrapped around their arm. Where Penny felt a million miles away, Stella felt right at home. As though this was exactly where both of them belonged. Nothing else mattered to her world so long as her best friend was at her side.

"You've been staring an awfully long time, my lucky charm. Don't tell me you're falling for me under the starlight." Stella jokes tearing her eyes away to stare at their friend. Penny's face goes red all the way to their ears and they look away quickly making Stella laugh. Penny's expression doesn't change despite the joke. It remains thoughtful and solemn almost.

"Something's obviously on your mind. What's wrong?" Stella pushes leaning closer to her friend. Penny keeps their eyes locked to the sky tracing the invisible lines of the Draco Constellation. After a long time of mental debate and silence they finally speak.

"Do you like me, Stella." It's phrased less as a question and more like a statement. Stella leans back from Penny as though physical recoiled by the question. She doesn't let go of Penny's arm though. In fact her grip tightens.

"Of course I do, Penny. You're my best friend." There's genuine reassurance in her voice. It's rare to hear her speak so authentically. Penny believes her or at least wants to believe her. Yet finds themselves unable too. Her actions the past few months, their interactions with these supposed new friends. The constant remarks on Penny's well everything, the distance put between them and these new friends, the lingering silence that surrounds Penny when they're all together as a group. It doesn't match her words. Not to them.

"I-it doesn't feel like it." Penny still can't stand to look to Stella. But at least their looking down now. Eyes focused on the handrail the two are leaning on rather then the vast shining abyss that expands out above them.

"... What do you mean?" Stella knows what they mean. Even if it's only subconcious. She knows she's been treating Penny differently with the others around. The others don't like Penny. They call Penny weird, unsettling, creepy. They don't understand why Stella hangs around Penny. They can't see Penny the way she does and she doesn't know how to make them see Penny the way she does. Not without losing them.

If she can just get Penny to show them what they're really like though, that loyal and intelligent side they hide, she knows they'll love Penny. She just has to push Penny a little. That's all and it's easier to push Penny then to push back. She won't lose Penny, can't lose Penny. Penny is her lucky charm, her best friend. She's not gonna lose that...

"When we're with everyone else you always treat me so... Cold. Like... I don't even matter to you." They're always smiling with Stella around. They laugh with her, joke with her and she laughs, jokes right back. Yet when Penny tries to join in it's silent. Even Stella is silent just watching them as though evaluating their worth. Are they worth the time to be around? Are they worth this friendship? Are they worth anything at all.

"Of course you matter to me. You mean more to me then any of those others." All they'd have to do is say the word and Stella would abandon those others. They don't matter, only Penny matters. They've known each other for only a year yet it feels like they've built an entire life together. She can't ruin that. She can't abandon that.

"... So why do you ignore me? Why do you just let them do whatever they want?" Why does she just stand there when they steal Penny's things? Why doesn't she say anything when they lock Penny away like some embarrassing secret? If Penny really mattered to Stella why doesn't she do anything? Did they matter? Did they matter to her or to anyone or anything at all? "I-.... I thought friends were supposed to stand up for each other."

"If I did that, what would you learn? I'm not your friend to protect you. You need to do that yourself. I'm your friend to teach you. Learn some independence, Penny." She was helping Penny. She was teaching them. This is what friends do. Stella knew this is what love is. Love is holding the ones you care for tight and molding them into their perfect selves. She was doing the right thing, she was helping Penny. Penny just wasn't trying hard enough. They weren't doing enough. They just... They needed a firmer hand in their molding.

That wasn't love. Penny knew that wasn't love. Love was protecting the ones you cared for. Defending them from the wrongs of the world and not letting others push them around. Love was keeping your distance if you had too. Doing whatever was necessary to protect the people you care for. Love was sacrifice and Stella wasn't willing to do that. It'd be selfish to push her to do that. The most loving thing Penny could now

"... I don't think I want to be your friend anymore, Stella." Penny pulls their arm from Stella. Whose grip loosens in shock when she hears those words leave Penny's mouth.

"... What?" This wasn't happening. She was losing her grip, her control of the mold. Penny wasn't supposed to do this. They were supposed to stay. Toughen up and show Stella's other friends how great they really were. They weren't... They weren't... They weren't supposed to abandon her. They couldn't. They couldn't be doing this. It had to be a joke, a prank. They'd teamed up with her other friends for this, right? They had too.

"I think... I think I need to be independent." Without even thinking about it they throw Stella's words back in her face. This was for the best. If they stayed Stella's friend and her friends turned against her because of that... What kind of friend were they?

How quickly friends go from soul mates to strangers. In the span of a months to a few minutes.

#♕ Drabbles ♕ #ask to tag #bullying tw

[3000-200-grains-of-salt]

got any fic recs ¿

Of course. Always. (Assuming ya mean hc/empires/lifeseries) Bon apetit & happy reading <3

Without further ado, here is a (long (ish)) list of (Twenty) fic recs in no particular order:

Choke Down My Poison (I'm Breathing You In) by MawoftheMagnetar

(THIS ONE IS DARK, READ THE TAGS + TWS) 9,461 words, complete

That's not water dripping from the stalactites. That's not moss under your feet. That's not condensation on your faceplate. That's not something you should be thinking about. Your friends are waiting at the bottom, silly! OR: Zed and Cleo need to find Tango. Before it's too late.

All Laws Thrown Out The Window by ThisIsSydney

TW: Violence/blood 52,757 words, incomplete

You might ask yourself, how does one end up in front of a supervillain in an apartment complex? Ren doesn't know that's for sure. Guess this stuff can happen when you search on Craigslist for a place to live.

come sail away by apollothetransboy

(Series including Illusionary and Incendiary) TW: Graphic violence/blood 52,035 words, incomplete

Most often, assassins don’t get attached to those they have to kill, a rule Etho kept in mind when he was sent to kill the prince of a trading empire. The problem arose when Etho tried that, and the universe smacked him upside the head and told him, “No.” Instead of following his oath and immediately killing Joel, Etho realizes his own survival depends on quite possibly the wimpiest man he’s ever met, and decides to save his own life. And so, they sail, all while being chased by Pearl, driven to insanity by a man who lives in the side of a hill, apparently. And six-year-old Hermes tags along. Which, in Etho’s opinion, is less annoying than Joel.

The Call of the Void by MawoftheMagnetar

TW: Horror, body horror, psychological horror, blood, all that fun stuff (Again, this one is pretty dark, mind the tags) 24,035 words, complete

The void is singing. It calls out for voices to join its choir, begging for souls to sate its unending hunger. When Boatem heeds its call, can anything stop the spreading corruption, or is everyone doomed to drown in the abyss?

i can be the one you call by mayflowers07

(Series of oneshots, can be read individually or as a complete story) TW: Pretty much everything at one point or another, changes per work. Be careful as this one can get dark, in the mental health sense. Especially towards the end. 143,821 words, storyline is finished but marked as incomplete

The Hermits have a code phrase. If spoken, this phrase acts as an emergency safe word, telling everyone to stop whatever they’re doing, because something is seriously wrong. Whether it’s from physical or emotional distress, all Hermits know that when someone uses the code, they need help from their chaotic, dysfunctional family.

Daylight Moon Sings To You by songbirdscoo

3,247 words, complete

Etho is lonely. Nobody ever comes out at night, afraid of monsters from their own minds and terrors that are nothing scarier than the breeze on the grass. Etho is lonely, until one day, he's not.

mourning the possibilities by valiant_skeleton

2,828 words, complete

in which doc is having issues with his arm, ren is having issues with the nature of the universe, and they both benefit from a good hug and some nail polish.

Tango's Castle of Cards by EvilRat_Sabre

TW: Bugs, blood + injury, and fake death 24,908 words, complete

It’s like a fact “The sun will rise”, “the moon will fall”, “the hermits will protect and care for each other” it's a certainty. Yes, they have their individual secrets, but they trust each other to not hide something that would harm their patchwork family. In a yellow bee themed tower, an Admin felt his soul fill with worry, dread and then rage seeing the limp, permadead body of a member of their family. Tango is dead, It hits like a fact. Someone will pay, that is a certainty. - He knew he was screwed from the beginning, forever doomed by the narrative. Born as a disgusting bug that probably will end squashed as one too. His lies only delayed the inevitable and now it is the end. Tango was alone. Tango was tired. Everything was wrong, it was all Tango's fault and he really didn't know how to fix it. Tango was stuck in a metaphorical and very real hole. Or, My Centipede Tango Tek AU. I transformed Tango in a bug, killed him and gave him mental heath problems. This has more angst than should be legally allowed.

[The grammar isn't the best but. dude j. just trust me. the writing is fantastic. absolutely outstanding]

Shop at iBuy- the story of one happy customer by simplydm

TW: Unease, not quite horror 1,601 words, complete

iBuy is a giant amongst the buildings in the shopping district, built with blackstone and dripping with gold, and you're telling me there is nothing sinister happening inside? No, never, it's run by the ever-friendly Impulsesv, after all. So join VintageBeef as he has a totally very normal shopping trip and that's it.

Fight For Your (Last) Rights by MawoftheMagnetar

1,447 words, complete

Zedaph is a reaper, who ferries the souls of the newly departed on to whatever destiny awaits them. And his labour union has just gone on strike. So naturally, Impulse and Tango have come to help!

I'll bite my tongue and hold my words, no of course it doesn't hurt! by Loafabun

TW: Self esteem issues, panic attacks 21,531 words, complete

“And so what’s interesting about this build is that it’s actually inspired by-” “I DON’T WANT THE HISTORY OF IT I JUST WANT THE NAME!” Bdubs shouts. Scar flinches in surprise and stares at him, mouth half-open. He tries to say something, but Bdubs cuts him off before he can start, “I know you’re gonna go down this deep path like- ‘OH! Martin Stanley came up with this thing, he was a great engineer for his time he did this and this OH here’s some concept art!!!’ Two hours later, WHAT’S IT CALLED?!?” Scar… didn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know if he should say anything, really. (Or, 5 times when Scar stopped talking, and 1 time where he continued)

Covet by Oceanbreeze7

TW: Body horror 102,734 words, incomplete

If you notice anything, it leads you to notice more and more. The humans talked, throwing bits and things into the passage they called Boatem Hole. The humans spoke to It, gentle and curious. They kept It company, called It a friend. It didn’t understand, but something beyond walls and walls of frosted glass and impermeable fog whispered pained and haunted behind It’s eyes with a voice that hurt to dwell on, don’t you remember this?

Pretty sure that's normal, right? by cityscape (worriedlywriting)

2,021 words, complete

Etho's finally completed the No Wings Club! Which is great— except for the fact that he no longer has an excuse not to use an elytra. (How do all the other hermits do it?!) Or: Etho realizes— with Bdubs' help— that his experiences with elytra might not be the same as everyone else's.

I Might Need Your Help Getting Back Onto My Feet by AstronautBeans

2,904 words, complete

At first Etho could agree it was funny. Yes, he’d missed a couple hits and didn’t always manage to kill someone when he meant to, and maybe he was getting a bit older. He’d lived in the same universe for thousands of years, of course his skill grew and waned with time. But when the phrase ‘washed up’ became a regular thing in people’s list of what to call him, and they continued to laugh at him about it, he couldn’t stop it from making his skin itch. He laughed right along with them, shook his head and sent a witty comment back. That was probably his downfall. The phrase continued to haunt him until the end of Double Life. It followed him onto Hermitcraft, and it didn’t take long at all before every single Hermit knew. He didn’t doubt the word spread across the parallel Empires server too. It evolved from making his skin itch, to burning in his chest and becoming a never-ending sinking pit in his stomach. — Or, Etho’s social anxiety gets the better of him and he ends up spiralling, but Gem is there to help him out.

DeUnAlived by Starbud

TW: Non-graphic dismemberment, past character death but he gets ressurected 828 words, complete

Grian's gruesome bloody body was strewn across the parking lot of the 100 Days Hardcore Skating Rink and Arcade. "Man," said Joel. "That's gonna suck to clean up." Scar poured out the rest of his Diet SpriteCoke™ onto the floor. "Do you think he'd let me have his shoes?"

[low word count but trust me guys it's SO FUNNY]

Don't Starve Together by InternetGone

1,500 words, complete

“…Scar?” A threatening hiss is heard over the crackling fire and that shuts him up. Probably another spider meeting its demise, it doesn’t reassure him. He subconsciously fidgets with his lighter. Scar hasn’t returned from chopping wood yet and the sun has set. He knows he shouldn’t worry because any sensible person would carry a torch or lantern on them, but Scar doesn’t have the best track record. Or, Grian and Scar settle in the desert, spooky shenanigans occur as they try to survive in the constant.

[Don't Starve Together AU]

burying the hatchet by GoodTimesWithScar and Sixteenthdays

5,000 words, complete

All things considered, this may be the worst way to find out that you can’t remember how to use an axe properly any more. Ren faces off against the half-felled tree trunk, studies the point of impact and tries to figure out what the heck he’s done wrong. It’s not that he hasn’t put enough force into it - believe him, the once and future King certainly knows how to put a bit of force into an oncoming… onslaught. Yet here the thing stands, attacked but most certainly not defeated, leaves still rustling quietly in the wind as if to mock him. (Or: Ren makes peace.)

No Questions Asked by Nyctae

(Series) TW: This series revolves around self-harm and healing from it. Stay safe &lt;3 11,063 words

"I'm a blaze hybrid." by valiant_skeleton

TW: Self-hatred, internalized fantasy racism 2,916 words, complete

“I just spilled my biggest secret, and you’re both acting like I told you we’re having soup for lunch tomorrow.” “Can we have soup for lunch tomorrow?” “Not the time, Impy,” Zed gently scolded. He detangled himself from Tango’s arm and pivoted to face him, before reaching out and brushing a few strands of hair from his forehead. Tango resisted the urge to flinch. “Was your hybrid status something you were trying to hide from us, Tango?” “Yeah? Was that not…” Tango was pretty sure his brain had short-circuited– it had to be that or he was dreaming. “Did you not think I was human?” Impulse sat up with a yawn and a stretch. “You have glowing red eyes, bud.” — in which tango is afraid to tell his friends he's a blaze hybrid, and it turns out they already know. it also turns out tango has a lot to learn about hybrids and humans.

Burn All Our Sins by apollothetransboy

TW: Violence, minor character death 6,372 words, complete, part of an incomplete series

In the early days of civil war, Doc found a boy not too much younger than him, and by his creed, took him in. Now, a decade later, Mandalorian Xisuma is old enough to watch his world crumble. or, the resistance, but star wars, pt i

Annnnd that's about it for now! (I'm tired :,D ) If any of the links are wrong feel free to ask/rb this and i'll fix it :) I might also add more. Who knows. Cya later lovelies!

#saltssavignfourlater #saltsasks+answers #hermitcraft #trafficblr #fic rec #hermitcraft fic rec #life series fic rec

[seoran]

My ranking of Nijisanji EN debut songs as of now

With the debut of XSOLEIL I decided to rank the NijiEn debut songs from the one I liked the most to the one I liked the least. Mind you, I love all of them and the ranking will change and probably changed already many times before. It really depends on what music I'm in mood for that day. This current ranking just shows how I feel about them at this particular moment.

Without further ado, let's start.

1. Hope in the dark (Luxiem)

I'm always proud to say I'm a fan of everyone in Nijisanji but of course I still have my favourites. And Luxiem just has a special place in my heart. Which means Hope in the dark just has to take the first place on my ranking basically everytime. Happy first anniversary, Luxiem!

2. Hold It Down (XSOLEIL)

I didn't expect to like it so much but lately I've been listening to it nonstop. Gives a feeling of being a cool kid in school lol. With a bit of edge, of that makes sense. Doppio's contrary is so good too. Man has incredible voice. I also like how while every member sounds different together they just fit so well.

3. Diamond City Lights (Lazulight)

What started it all. The total classic, most twerkable song ever. I couldn’t not place them in the top 3 just because of the meaning this has to the whole fandom.

4. God Sees All (Ethyria)

I'm in love with Enna's voice, it’s just so beautiful. It's hard to describe why I like this song, there's just something...so godly and mysterious about God Sees All. I can't ever get bored with it.

5. Black Out (Obsydia)

Honestly, I had trouble deciding between Black Out and God Sees All but as I said in the introduction, I just have more Ethyria's song mood as of now. Still, it doesn't change the fact that when Black Out came out I kept listening to it on loop. Obsydia's voices blend together so well and the song feels powerful.

6. Stuck In The Abyss (Noctyx)

I really like the futuristic vibes Stuck in the Abyss gives and Sonny's and Alban's solos are my favourite parts of the song. A very strong song. But now it also feels a bit bittersweet though. #ThankyouYugo

7. Let's Get It Started (ILUNA)

I love Ren's vocals and the happy mood Let's Get It Started puts me in. Not once have I just danced alone at home while listening to it. But I'm still a little sad that they used too much autotune on others aside Ren and Maria. Doesn't change the fact that I still love this song tho haha.

#nijisanji #nijisanji en #lazulight #obsydia #ethyria #luxiem #noctyx #iluna #xsoleil #nijien #nijien debut songs

[kirie-mitsuru]

First of all, I love Luo Binghe with every fiber of my being and I just want him loved so thoroughly that he can't, not even for a second, doubt that he is loved.

Which is why I need to know if Shen Qingqiu is explicitly banned by the system to tell anything to LBH? I read through the novel twice, but I don't remember this being a thing. I am too emotionally damaged by how traumatized my pure LBH is by everything SQQ did to him and them not talking about everything that happened between them at all even until the very end. Unless they did and I missed it??

By things, I mean:

1. Why LBH has to go through the Abyss

2. Why SQQ assumes LBH is the cause of everything going wrong to SQQ during Jin Lan arc

3. Why SQQ keeps rejecting LBH presence even after knowing tht LBH loves him as a lover

4. Why LBH lost all trust in SQQ after the many lies and rejection LBH went through

5. Why SQQ restrains his affection even when they are already a couple

6. Why SQQ still lets the rest of the sect and the human realm people bad mouth LBH despite knowing how wrong they are abt LBH

(Warning: The rest is just my word vomit on my frustration over their nonexistent communication and why I feel they need it, so don't read the rest if it bothers you! Read the tags before you read the rest at least.)

I love BingQiu only because I can't see LBH truly happy w anyone else and I know tht SQQ actually loves all of LBH, the good and the bad, throughout the novel. It's just his denial and so called God's POV blinding him from seeing LBH as himself instead of what SQQ expects from LBH.

It happened, I get it. Teen angst (from both of them, SQQ is in his early 20ies too), realization, character growth and all that, but it does not change the fact that probs ard 90% of LBH trauma is caused by SQQ.

Like being put, going through, and surviving this universe ver of Hell (which I think Shang QingHua glazed through w convenient time skip in PIDW?) because of and for SQQ. Watching the love of his life die in his arms for him and because of him (even though LBH is equally clueless on what even happened during Jinlan arc until he tortures the truth out of the Old Palace master)(and multiple times too). Believing that he is being hated and feared by the love of his life because of his genetics or gender, which he have 0 say on and painful coz no one else seems to care about gender for couples in the novel besides SQQ so how else would LBH translate tht as nothing but an excuse for SQQ to reject him.

Oh, of course, not forgetting Xin Mo, the mind corrupting OP sword that constantly tries to take control of LBH's mind, which SQQ was looking forward to for LBH to acquire to be OP despite knowing what it does to its user.

(Personally, the scene where LBH secretly watch SQQ, who just ordered him to go away, laugh and say nothing as everyone bad mouth LBH before agreeing to stay for these people after treating LBH like a shameful secret that he don't want anyone to know was the most painful betrayal SQQ had done. Because, at this point, SQQ knows LBH loves him and has been pursing him all these time instead of wishing SQQ harm, yet he never even try to clarify this to his sect siblings, laughing instead when they insult LBH. This scene hurts me so much because how can SQQ eff up so quickly after acknowledging that he had broke LBH's heart so so many times into thousands of pieces just a few minutes before. Does the realization mean nothing at all to SQQ? I hate SQQ a little bit here even tho I know he didn't mean anything and is just too lazy too correct these many ppl and hates confrontation. At least he knew he eff-ed up when he knew LBH was listening)

I get why SQQ does the thing he did which he does w the underlying intention of 'helping' LBH get all the good things he deserve (nevermind that SQQ's definition of best is never what LBH wants for himself) (a painfully perfect example of the path to hell is paved with good intentions), but LBH doesn't know and he deserve to know if only to help him overcome or minimize his trauma.

I'm also sad that the main reason SQQ misunderstood LBH so much and expects the worst out of LBH is not even because of what LBH did. It's mainly the result of him reading abt Luo Bingge, punishment from the system, and his own cowardice to stop denying the truth. The only part LBH eff up is the blood parasite torture in the water jail thing, his blackening to the point 'lets end the world so there is only me and shizun' (which technically is due to the myriad of trauma caused by SQQ) and the last dub con scene which technically is orchestrated by the system due to SQQ's choice... why don't SQQ even expect it tho, all of his choices via the system prompts always led to him seducing LBH or in compromising situation w LBH and its the deluxe scene smtg...

... Yet the ending is just SQQ declaring he will always go wherever LBH go from now on (which he broke soon after coz LBH has to go to the demon realm and SQQ stays in the sect in the extras, which led to Luo Bingge showing up). Also, the extra just shows LBH acting pitiful to get affection and attention from SQQ (which is sad that he needs to be like this to get affection from SQQ, especially when internally SQQ 100% wants to pamper and love LBH already), their abrupt and private marriage.

Please, if I miss any scene they actually talk about their issues, do enlighten me.

(If there is any fanfic of them actually communicating w SQQ acknowledging his mistakes outloud and comforting LBH, or of SQQ 100% spoiling LBH, or going balistic when LBH is hurt, or dead LBH -especially considering tht his halo means near 100% his death caused by some form of suicide- which leaves crazy SQQ suffering and regreting everything he did to LBH, tell me too! I may or may not love yandere-for-LBH SQQ hehe. .)

#bingqiu #character study #scum villian self saving system #scum villain #luo binghe #I am Luo Binghe biased sorry not sorry #i am dumping my depression caused by loving Luo Binghe too much #word vomit #fanfic rec needed #svsss #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #lbh #sqq #svsss fic prompt #fic prompt #i am just traumatized by how SQQ good intention ruins LBH's life #even his self sacrifice is just another way to torture LBH

[s-el-fships]

1, 2, and 4 for whichever s/i you feel like, I can’t find your list at the moment!

i'll respond for my genshin s/i, since i'm working on something with her right now!

you can find my list of f/os here by the way! i haven't made a page for my s/is yet but i may do that!

What is your s/i's name & pronouns?

el imunlaukr! she/her or they/them.

2. How similar is your s/i to you? Are they a carbon copy, completely different or a mix of the two?

not quite a carbon copy, but her life story is fairly similar to mine. i even chose imunlaukr for rather personal reasons-- i'm not sure if when we get the lore for the imulaukr clan that that parallel will remain, but it means something to me and that's what's important i think!

of course her story diverges from my own life at some point, but her childhood/teenage years/some early adulthood all have direct parallels to my experiences.

i'm not sure i'm supposed to infodump about her story here, but a couple of quick facts for you!

she's from mondstadt of course!

however her vision was gained while she was studying in inazuma (i'm considering changing this one, but i think it's a difference from my own life that i'd not mind changing lmao)

she's a cryo sword user!

she learned to fight in a liyue style.

catgirl. nya

i didn't mean to do a lot with her outside of just. yay self-shipping! but now i've got a whole story going in my brain lmao. so i might write it out!

4. How did your s/i feel when they first met your f/o(s)? How do they feel about them now?

❄️ eula: at first she wasn't entirely sure what to think of eula. there was a general disdain when they first met, as of course el knew the stories of the lawrence clan (and eula likely took el's introduction as an imunlaukr as a bit of a rude gesture), but after a few run-ins they got to talking more and getting to know one another better. namely, eula tended to show up at good hunter around the same time as el, so they'd chat in line and eventually started eating lunch together. she really treasured that time since she didn't really have many friends either... but over time those feelings blossomed into something other than friendship. they frequently write to one another and send small gifts in the mail. eula doesn't usually go far from mondstadt, so el makes it her goal to find strange and fun souvenirs that suit her wherever she winds up. whenever they're together el can always count on a delicious dinner, and eula can look forward to a listening ear and a warm catgirl to cuddle!

🧪 dottore: enemies to lovers speedrun (actually writing an au for this now!). el didn't trust him (the proper response, probably), but he had become rather fascinated with her for one reason or another-- a chance run-in with one of his segments, most likely. oddly enough, both of them were rather upset with how the other made them feel-- for el, because she was upset about being attracted to... y'know, (gestures to the whole man). he of course was annoyed that she was making him feel something he couldn't quite identify. and so he set on a quest to find the answer, as he usually does. at this time, he's definitely not reformed and still largely acts in his own self-interest, but el at least acts as something of a morality chain. he doesn't want her to cry, so better not do anything too awful. on the other hand, el has become a bit more relaxed with her own ideals, though this wouldn't be a full on corruption arc lmao. ultimately, he cares about her in his own way, even if it took him a while to understand it and for her to accept it. she can't help but feel the same way.

🔥enjou: i haven't thought as much about this one since i have an oc/canon ship with him. this one's mostly just "i am attracted to this man and would like to kiss him"! sorry! i can talk about the oc/canon ship a bit, though. my oc was in the abyss order with him, but after some time she began to start questioning their mission, and after a time made a break with the organization. they remained friends, and had a bit of a saucy friends with benefits situation. for fun. spicy. following the enkanomiya storyline he sets up a base in the library there and things become official between them. she likes having a quiet place to rest and he just likes having her around. neither of them try to convince the other of their causes, it's just... a sense of caring and a bond between them. there's a third option somewhere they're looking for.

🔶zhongli: while el was in liyue harbor for the first time, she caught a glance of the unfairly handsome consultant for wangsheng funeral parlor in the market, where she witnessed the extremely relatable moment of him realizing he didn't have enough money to pay for the things he'd wanted to purchase. while she didn't have enough either, she did offer to buy a couple of things off his list, and so of course he wanted to repay her that money (that he didn't have). she thought it was kinda weird that he was so concerned with paying her back, but given liyue is the land of contracts she assumed he was just particularly devoted to the nation's way of life. i can't decide if she knows his secret or not, though i'm leaning towards whichever is funnier honestly.

#replies #echoes-lighthouse #echoeslighthouse #thank you for the ask! #el writes a post it note

[nvr-pass]

aaand of course an 60h+ audiobook wasn't enough for me so i also watched the movie trilogy they made for atlas shrugged 🤡

cons of the movies:

shit

bad

sucked

embarrassing

ugly as fuck and it wasn't just the 2010s fault. the production design doesn't look like anyone even put thought into it and is made worse by how every key set changes completely between each movie. dagny's apartment and office are described as basically barren several times, come on that can't be hard. also in the first movie it's WAY too obvious that jim's and dagny's office are the same room. have you tried trying.

the casting is horrendous. even if you ignore the fact that the every single characters is recast for each movie (very hard to ignore. the 2nd and 3rd movie is just a never ending "wait who the fuck is this".), the casting is just straight up incredible bad and gets worse each time. for the third movie it really seems like they just took whoever. they don't look like they're even trying to act sometimes.

they don't understand their own fucking book. they don't understand the characters. they don't understand what the point of specific scenes is. most scenes are roughly the same as in the book but the screenwriters don't seem to understand why they happen this way or literally any characters motivation behind doing anything. which is impressive bc 80% of the book is characters explaining their world view and monologuing about why they act how they do. of course all that fucking introspection had to be cut down for the movie but even the key moments where their actions speak for their convictions are fumbled every time. fumbled with really really simple remarks that could easily be avoided if the writers understood their own material. and for a story that is about characters believing fiercely in their ~unusual moral code~ this is a death sentence.

but i mean ... not like there is anything else this story has going for it.

and the lack of character motivation or understanding combined with the previously mentioned abyssal acting sucks every bit of passion and emotions from the story. stalest, most dramaless action i have ever seen. actors walk on screen and recite words. reminds me of primary school plays except they're much more fun

no mention of quentin growing carrots in a defunct parking lot. okay this one is just petty but it was maybe the only thing i liked about the book.

bad vfx. im very lenient in this regard but i felt i had to at least mention it bc it's really really bad and it's distracting.

the story was always stupid but the way they cut it down makes it unclear to the point where is complete gibberish. saw some deleted scenes of the second movie that would have curbed this but alas .. you had them? you cut all the scenes that make your movie make sense legible?

incredibly, these 2011-2014 movies are a SETBACK in terms of feminism to the 1957 book ???!?!

there's another million little things i hate about these movies but they're not even worth the effort of writing them out. im just so fucking pissed.

genuinely the worst movies i have ever seen. and there's a thing where very bad movies get kind of fun to watch again you know? much too stale for that. these movies are the true low point of the fun to watch curve.

pros:

it was shorter than the book so it was over more quickly

#as lb

[emathevampire]

And hair and alternate (modern) for Askalaphos! 👀 I'm having a buffet here

my boy... my beloved chaotic evil bastard boy... who has never done anything wrong in his life... good gentlethem this is a buffet for *me* i could talk about this man all day. or night. both? both is good.

hair: How does your OC wear their hair? Does it have some kind of meaning? Askalaphos grows his hair long. Sometimes he ties it back, but for the most part he prefers to leave it loose, and hasn't cut it once since killing the last demon prince who forced him to wear it short... this was a little past shoulder length when he finally escaped the Abyss, but by this point in the canon it's a little past his waist, having been about 10 years since then. It's a rather odd texture, fairly thick straight strands that feel more like extraordinarily fine silver chains than human hair... and that would be because it has more in common with silver dragon scales than human hair. He keeps it long partly because he likes it that way but also because, if he focuses, he can shape and style his hair into armoured scales. On his head, this looks like anything from a pair of simple horns that serve to keep his hair out of his face to a heavy helmet-like set designed to protect him in battle.

alternate: What would your OC's alternate universe look be? If they're a fantasy character, what's their modern look? If they're sci-fi, what's their fantasy look? What AU would you want to see your OC in, and how would they dress themself? Bonus: Prompt an AU! Funny you should mention that... He hates clothes. HATES them. This man's ordinary attire (rain or shine, hot or cold) is nothing but a linen cloth and a thin belt to hold it up, because linen's about the only thing that can hold up to the hell he puts his body through. His catchphrase is "pants are for losers." If you try to put him in a shirt, he will maul you. This is because of a texture issue! His scales are rough, and not only will they shred most clothing in a matter of days, it's miserably uncomfortable for him to wear them the entire time. That said, if he sheds his scales (leaving him utterly defenseless), he COULD wear clothes without issue... if he wanted to. Which he doesn't. He's most comfortable when impervious to most forms of physical attack, thank you very much. This is a core character trait of his, and would not change no matter the setting. He would see a sign saying "no shirt, no shoes, no service" and walk in as-is, make strong eye contact with the gas station cashier, then grab all the hot dogs, beef jerky, and three wine bottles and walk away. However, when he found himself Freaky Friday'd with the party's NPC gnome artificer, he begged to borrow her body long enough to craft a magic item, saying she could do whatever she wanted with his in the meantime. He had regrets, of course, once he found out she used him to play dress up. He still refuses to wear the reading glasses she got him, despite the fact that he desperately needs them. She was trying to do something nice for him, but unfortunately for her, Askalaphos is an ungrateful bastard who wouldn't recognise a kindness if it bit him in the face. Behold, his modern outfit: reinforced leather pants, boots, and a spiked leather jacket with his sword and title, "Blade of War," embroidered on the back.

#constellationscharts #askalaphos areios #rixa writes

[aueua]

#[art #.jpeg] #[2021.zip] #hollow knight #\\ happy saturday. subjects you #have I already talked about how I stand by the sanctum is in technicality a pivotal ''last stronghold for the people'' rather than just a #place of atrocities? I'm sure I've done it a few times but. really #you have a place sectioned in the low/poor society and there's chance that the scholars stationed there don't have as much bias as nobles #while it focused on pure focus (aha) prior; it doesn't really change the fact they at least still attempted to find an alt. means of a cure #so there's -> hospital ? | a cemetery when you can't bury your people anywhere else ? #I love religious damage control <3 #I mean of course it doesn't change the fact that much like the abyss there's a Whole Lot of Bodies but #-> factor in the chance of the oldlight having influenced/sparked that sort of deviation in any of these bugs ++ hypothetically. #say that it did work. it didn't - and even then the amt of bodies can't be justified - but if it did? what then? #in one of the records they at least have enough heart to ''spare thought'' to everyone that contributed/volunteered #listen akdjhf you have the traitor lord's tribe where they potentially kept their minds up until [] occurred #* I will not get into that here >_> #at least you know. they still tried to save someone if even themselves. they're damn mortals bro ofc if they get a few sparks here and there #at least ONE of them is going to be like. Heyy besties. What if we. Aheem heem. Immortality. ? potentially bc radi/the voice gave them that #the springs is a whack situation; I feel like that's partly a -> only ghost/some vessel equivalent gets the actual soul benefit out of it #otherwise why else is the pleasure house still in tact? the sanctum already has all these machineries why wouldn't they just. YEEHAWWW #although then again it's a wonder why they hadn't explored crystal peak due to ''better focusing'' but maybe that's just an unrecorded matte #euaugh this is getting long listen I do mean it when I say I have thoughts on these bugs I'm ill </3 #you can still hate them it's okay just. maybe. not default into the idea that it was all entirely due to them being selfish and arrogant? #like still remember the infection's at play and not every single scholar including the master is a willingly heading down corruption scene #love the path of good intentions is carved in the similarity of hell <333 #I'll debate on keeping these tags ajtjhfgh maybe it's better I just briefly tap it into a post and never discuss it again #really sexy that the people that used to act for the society w/ good intentions has warped it slightly and still keeps the trust of the ppl #then get twisted and fucked up and the ppl still believe in them bc honestly who else can they believe in?

[faelicy]

Miss Faelicy I would love to get your opinion on Bingqiu.

I see people posting things like how they are "problematic" and how they don't really love each other and SQQ only feels sympathy etc. Obviously there were struggles between them as there should be (considering all that happened) and just because sqq wasn't very open and super obvious about his feelings doesn't mean they are not there..this is how I interpreted it. I would love to know your opinion

Hello! This also covers part 2 of the previous ask.

First, massive spoilers for the end of the novel. Second, a disclaimer: I despise shipwars, which I think are behind most of those comments. I hate them because it's usually all in bad faith: everyone's already committed to their interpretation of the ships, and any discussion is just a guise for justifying their preferences.

So to any readers: I don't want anything here to be used as shipwar fuel. This post is about Bingqiu's canon arc and themes. Basically, I don't know or care if Bingqiu is a good ship, but I do think it's a well-written one.

I'll start by saying directly: for most of the novel, Bingqiu is neither healthy nor romantic. And that this is not bad writing, but on purpose.

A relationship that drives one party to mental breakdown isn't healthy. A relationship where that party says it's okay to hurt or kill them can't possibly be healthy. That happened because there was something deeply wrong with their relationship, something that can't be reduced to Xin Mo, miscommunication, or LBH throwing a tropey yandere fit.

And out of all three MXTX novels, only SV lacks a love confession from the MC to the ML. Again, I don't think it's an oversight, or just because SQQ's face is too thin. There are plenty of ways MXTX could have worked a subtle one in if she really wanted to.

In my opinion, Bingqiu's narrative can be split up into four arcs: Qing Jing Peak (ch 1-27), Jin Lan City (28-43), Post-revival (29-55), and Reconciliation (56-81). Other than the first arc, where their relationship is pretty straightforward, Bingqiu spend most of the rest in direct conflict.

I'll give an overview of the arcs here, but what I truly want to say about Bingqiu starts in arc 4, so if you're impatient you can scroll down. But the overview might help add context.

Jin Lan City arc is about LBH's anger at being brutally betrayed by the one person he thought he could trust. Here he tries to force answers out of SQQ, who he believes both hates him and is a hypocrite. He's driven by a desire to return to the past, but his rage and love makes his actions contradictory: on one hand he tries to win SQQ's approval constructively, by climbing to the top of Huan Hua Palace and performing good deeds, on the other hand his belief that SQQ doesn't care about him so it's all futile anyway (reinforced by SQQ's own actions) causes him to lash out destructively, going as far as to hurt and imprison SQQ.

LBH's bitterness is portrayed very negatively, because all it does is instill despair into SQQ, until SQQ ends up believing that he's only been a blight on LBH's life, and that he must make up for it by killing himself. Whereupon LBH breaks down, regressing into a childlike state. Some might ask, why does LBH never bring up the Abyss again afterwards? It's because he gives up here. This entire arc is about getting LBH to let go of past wrongs and to stop seeking answers, whether the reader believes it's fair to him or not. Because SQQ's life is more important.

Post-revival arc then is about SQQ trying to come to terms with a blackened LBH who also loves him. Interestingly, despite SQQ's horror at realizing LBH was romantically interested in him all along, SQQ actually has a very subtle but telling secondary reaction. To explain, let's back up to the first arc.

Starting around ch 9, probably as a sign of his growing affection, SQQ begins addressing LBH as 这孩子, or "this child," in his internal monologue, instead of LBH's name. He does it once each in ch 9, 12, 17, 21, 25. However, once Jin Lan City arc starts, SQQ drops the address entirely. LBH and "child" are never brought up together except for one snarky comment on LBH's tantrum being disgracefully childish in ch 38.

At first glance this doesn't look noteworthy because LBH by this point is no longer a kid. But when LBH kisses him in ch 49, SQQ changes again: right away he returns to using "child" on LBH, and the "this child" address starts popping up at a much higher frequency. By the end of SV SQQ has referred to LBH as a child in some manner at least 35 times (yes I went and counted), with the vast majority after ch 49, and he continues to do so right into the last extra.

Why was SQQ unwilling to use this address of affection for over 20 chapters? Perhaps because he too thought LBH hated him, and couldn't bear to think about him so intimately knowing that. So SQQ immediately falling back into it the moment he learns LBH loves him is a sign of his relief. He's still dismayed at the romantic part, but though SQQ likes to deflect from his real emotions (this is the guy who focused on bad naming sense after being fatally poisoned, who cavalierly commented only after it was all over that he'd expected to die), the fact that LBH loves and doesn't hate him, means a lot.

Here SQQ's feelings towards LBH are at their most complicated. He still assumes the worst of him like in Jin Lan City, but now because of the above, also sees a lonely child whenever LBH is unhappy and lost. It's like he has two filters actively interfering with each other, "crazed criminal" and "pitiful child," and so he flip-flops between pushing LBH away and comforting him. But when LBH drags CQMS into it, and even seemingly takes advantage of SQQ's love for him, SQQ's negative image and frustration with him only grows, until he finally snaps and tells LBH to never come near him again.

At this point SQQ still believes that LBH is the same black-hearted, invincible, devil incarnate that og!LBH was portrayed to be. The Reconciliation arc starts by chipping away at this filter that's been plaguing SQQ for so long. First the revelation that TLJ/ZZL was behind the sowers, thus clearing LBH's name at Jin Lan City. Then we see how unloved he is by his own father; we see him injured and helpless and unconscious. Meng Mo yells at SQQ, reinforcing that image of a vulnerable, terrified child. So by ch 62 SQQ has thrown away the "crazed criminal" filter completely, and in that same chapter they cling to each other and finally make up. Because while it's true that the current LBH is misanthropic, antisocial, and mercurial, SQQ has also finally accepted that he's still the same LBH he'd raised and doted on, back on Qing Jing Peak.

Now I'm going to talk about what I see as the most important part of Bingqiu. Yes, despite the wall of text already.

A common sentiment of Bingqiu shippers about their issues seems to be, "SQQ is dumb and oblivious; he can't figure out what LBH needs even though he loves him because he sees LBH as a novel character," but I think the problem is far more complicated and insidious than that. If that was everything, why give SQQ the epiphany that he misunderstood LBH so early? Why have him think in ch 66 that "truthfully, he'd never really trusted Luo Binghe, and that's why he kept accidentally hurting him?" If he's already realized that he shouldn't treat LBH like og!LBH (he even meets og!LBH in ch 71 to rub it in further), why do we go another 13 chapters believing their relationship is good and well, even giving us a sweet, happy moment in ch 75, only to show LBH having the worst breakdown of the novel just 4 chapters later? Was it all just padding to demonstrate the danger of Xin Mo?

Or is there something else beneath the surface?

In ch 66, the same chapter where SQQ implies he doesn't want to accidentally hurt LBH anymore, he says something telling. When LQG is skeptical that LBH can be trusted, SQQ thinks, 家里孩子不懂事，大人不容易做, or "when your child doesn't know any better, as the adult you don't have it easy." The child here of course refers to LBH, and the adult is SQQ, who's complaining about smoothing over LBH's messes. But what is SQQ implying here?

Doesn't know any better? That's what you say about a toddler who can't think for themselves, not a grown man. LBH is 25 and SQQ thinks he doesn't know better. Doesn't know better about what? LBH's wants, his needs? His feelings? Or even what's good for him?

And then you realize that's exactly how SQQ's always treated him, like a helpless child who can't make his own choices.

It's SQQ who chooses to throw LBH down into the Abyss without trying to talk to him. It's SQQ who decides that keeping silent is the best choice. It's SQQ who believes self-destructing in front of LBH will help, who thinks that breaking off their relationship is for the better. And it's SQQ who scolds LBH into tolerating CQMS, even though they hate each other and CQMS is hostile towards him. Who forces him to leave first at Zhao Hua Temple despite LBH's pleas otherwise, who shoos him out the window when CQMS walks in on them.

Every single one of these decisions, SQQ made believing it was for the best (repair LBH's relationship with his family, help him avoid arrest, not wanting to make excuses, wanting LBH to be free of his hatred), and every single one of them only damaged LBH further. Because SQQ's never listened to him, even once. Never consulted him or considered his feelings.

(And LBH did try to bring up his feelings on one of the matters in ch 75. He insinuates to SQQ that he doesn't like LQG calling him "little beast" or "ingrate." And SQQ's response is to dismiss them entirely, saying that LQG's "not wrong.")

SQQ has always loved LBH, but he's never once respected LBH's agency or personhood. Because LBH doesn't know better and SQQ does, so SQQ must make all his decisions for him.

And this, amplified by Xin Mo, is what finally drives LBH mad in ch 79.

To LBH, the important part isn't whether SQQ loves him, which I think he knew after ch 43 (it's why he can be so daring and pushy with SQQ's boundaries). What's important is that the moment SQQ believes abandoning LBH is justified for whatever reason again, SQQ absolutely will.

Ch 80's two-way noncon (since LBH was basically unconscious and couldn't consent) tends to draw most of the attention, but I actually think that what happens afterwards is one of the most important scenes for Bingqiu. There SQQ tries to sacrifice himself a second time for LBH, drawing Xin Mo's demonic qi into his body. Yet the novel claims that SQQ's actions here are completely different than in ch 43. SQQ himself says that this time he's doing it for LBH, while last time he was doing it for himself. But can the reader see a functional difference?

There is one, in fact: it's SQQ's response to LBH's choice afterwards. LBH decides to follow SQQ in death, even though this would void the point of SQQ's sacrifice. But instead of insisting otherwise, SQQ just accepts it. Because he finally understands that whether LBH's life is worth living, whether LBH will be better off, is for LBH and only LBH to decide.

It's the first time he respects LBH's agency. And this is the only reason why he and LBH can finally begin building a healthy relationship on the mess they've had up to now.

So that's what I see as the true beauty behind Bingqiu. It's about communication and mistaken assumptions, yes, but it's also about the nature of love between parent and child. The romantic developments were left to the extras, I believe, because this was the main story MXTX wanted to tell with them. Their relationship as lovers only starts afterwards, hence why SV ends with, "the story between you and I, has only just begun." It was never meant to be a whirlwind romance where they fall in love cleanly. It might not to be to everyone's tastes, but an incredible amount of thought was put into the narrative, and that's what amazed me when I first finished this novel.

(This post went on way too long and I ended up cutting off a huge chunk of tangential stuff and how SQQ came to his realization in ch 79: he didn't do it alone. It took him seeing the LBH in TLJ and the himself in YQY for him to understand. In fact, YQY and og!SQQ's relationship has a similar parent-and-child dynamic. I've touched on it before on twitter; if there's interest I might try writing that up here too.)

#scum villain #svsss #scum villain's self saving system #sv meta #spoilers #fae's meta #translation notes

[just-like-playing-tag]

Yo it's Apollo!Ray AU hours again

I just think Ray would be more fitting as ruthless psycho than Norman? I mean, Ray was willing to sacrifice 35 children out of 37- children that were his family, children he loved. I'm not saying such decision didn't destroy him internally; but if he, after having thought about it for a long time and considered there was no other chance, eventually agreed to sacrifice most of his own family, think about what he might be able to do to the creatures he despises.

Now, I'm not saying I'm 100% sure this is how Ray would act if he was sent to Lambda, and I know I'm on thin ice with remaining in character; but I find it fun to think of what could have been of him and eventually bringing to light some hidden dark aspects of his!

Hear me out: Ray is a complex, predominantly gray character. Through the canon story, he was greatly effected by Emma's good influence for the better. Nota bene!! I don't mean that Ray isn't his own character, and that his personality and development was solely shaped by Emma; what I mean is that he was influenced by Emma's attitude as much as she was of his own, because our personality is also built on the people we're surrounded by, especially the ones we share a deep bond with.

Now, let's say that, at Grace Filed, Ray's heart was still in a predominantly gray zone: a bit ruthless at heart - he really was willing to abandon to death 92% of his family - but still able to be influenced by Emma's good resolutions for the best (even though it's important to keep in mind that he didn't believe an escape involving more than three people was possible until it took place in front of his eyes. I think it's a very relevant detail, as it shows how GF!Ray's cynism and realism often lead to him solely being able to see the most negative results, and not allowing him to believe in the impossible as Emma and Norman did).

Now, things changed as canon Ray escaped. He had seen the impossible become reality right in front of his eyes, and in that moment he vowed he would have never made the same mistake: he would have never given up again; not on his family, nor on his life.

He swore to protect his family, and that he would have never allowed any of his siblings to meet death again: and that's because, for the very first time in his entire existence, he started to believe that no-escape-scenarios can actually be overcame without sacrifices, if only you have enough faith into making it possible. He learned that fighting back will never stop being an option, and he's now willing to do anything, even the impossible, to grant his family an happy life- this time, for all of them.

It's beautiful, isn't it? Well, bad news!!! Lambda!Ray never got the chance to go through this character development. In fact for him after his shipment everything got worse and more desperate!

I find it unlikely that Ray would have left a note with a revisited escape plan like Norman did before leaving... We know for sure in two months he didn't come up with what Norman had thought in a couple of hours, and even though in the circumstances of him being shipped he would have been him to make the recognition, he didn't know about the support of the younger siblings, which was a key element of the escape plan. Overall, even putting aside the fact that Norman is generally considered being a span more witty than Ray, I personally like to think that Ray, for how he is - pessimistic, depressed and everything - after seeing the cliff would have been far too miserable to come up with something as fast as Norman did.*

*Actually, it's hard to tell for sure, because I think Ray would never give up on saving Emma and Norman- but things were happening so fast, so what if he didn't have enough time? What if he just couldn't come up with a plan to overcome the cliff? I fully believe Ray would have done anything to save Emma and Norman, but what if there wasn't anything to be done? It's hard to say.

Ray is shipped to Lambda. This is probably what he's thinking, differently from Norman:

1. Their plan to escape somehow feels as it's already failed, since they already lost one person: without him, the plan of setting the house on fire to distract Isabella has no chance to work, making their already few chances of escaping go down to basically none.

2. Differently from Norman, who never stopped believing in Emma, Lambda!Ray doesn't know if his siblings were actually able to escape; taking into account how pessimistic Ray is, he has probably long presumed them dead. In such situation, it's very likely he considered the work of the six years of his life to at least make Emma and Norman survive gone to waste. I think it's actually very likely for him to get even more depressed and hopeless at Lambda, believing that now all his family is dead, and probably blaming himself for that. The fact that out of all his family he was the only one who survived - him, the one who out of them was the most ready and willing to die - must feel to him like the most cruel joke from destiny.

[For reference: until the very moment they finally met, also Norman didn't know the escape was successful.

Of course, Norman believed in Emma and in her plan, but what about cynical, realistic, I'm-depressed-since-I-was-one Ray?]

At Lambda, Ray is hopelessly stalling, obsessing on this kind of thoughts. His hatred for demons and, for extension, the world he lives in, is growing stronger and stronger. He's slowly sinking in the abyss of his own desperation. Now that all for him is lost, the only thought that keeps him from giving up on his life is one: the thirst of vengeance. A single, dark, rooted thought that somehow manages to be the one thing that keeps him going on. (Once taken on the Apollo facade, there probably was also a component of wanting to stop once and for all the suffering of thousands of children... But in all honesty, I believe with Ray the revenge component would be much stronger than it was with Norman.)

Let's take a moment to reflect on Ray's vindictive side, shall we? Of course, the main reason for Ray to set himself on fire was because according to him it was the safest way to make the others escape (honestly I think a big part of it was also because of him being suicidal kind of depressed, but that's not relevant to the point). But I believe another primary reason for his actions was his seek for revenge: you can clearly see it in his words full of hate and loathing. And I mean, I think that's pretty canon? Ray's beautiful theme in this moment of the anime is literally called “Ray's retaliation”.

That night Ray sought revenge for having ruined his six years plan to save his true friends (since Norman was ultimately shipped without him being able to do anything to save him), together with revenging all of his siblings he saw being led to death. Somehow, it was a moment for him to set all his anger free as his last testament leaving that cruel world.

But as for the Ray of the AU, he never got to experience that freeing moment! Instead, the anger inside of him kept growing stronger and stronger. And now that he believed the whole escape plan had failed and not a single child had survived, it's fair to assume his thirst for revenge would keep growing with it. And also, once again: this time there's no Emma to have a good influence on him.

Now imagine: after escaping Lamba, Ray meets Emma and Norman again!! He's overjoyed: for the longest time, he had thought he would have never got to see them again. He's ecstatic, overwhelmed with joy. In that moment, he swears to himself he'll never lose them again. Skip to the moment of the confrontation between the three of them, except this time it's Ray to expose his plan to exterminate the demons; when Emma randomly speaks her mind and says that, well, she actually doesn't find it very nice to eradicate an entire species, and that in fact she and Norman were already planning a fun trip to a deadly metaphysical place nobody ever came back from to reforge the promise. Needless to say, in the span of minutes Ray is back sinking deep into the abyss. He won't lose them again. He can't lose them again. And click boom, he goes “You know what Emma? Why don't you visit our Paradise Hideout a bit longer instead 😊🔪🔪🔪”

What I'm trying to say is: when the story starts, Ray has gone through all of the most dreadful and disturbing horrors; he's unstable, and depending on his fate when leaving Grace Field he could have easily swing from one extreme to the other. I think Emma greatly helped him overcome his hatred; but what would have been of him, hadn't she been there to support him? What if he only met people who shared his hatred for demons? What if Ray had the choice to kill them all?

#This was mostly written September of the last year lmao #Then heavily rewritten this April... #And finally corrected today #I don't know why I always specify when a post was made #I guess I just find it funny how long it takes me to post something #and the turbolent journey of my posts XD #tpn ray #tpn #the promised neverland #tpn manga spoilers #apollo ray #mine #long post #Edit: Queuing this because I'm a c o w a r d #q.

[mevekagvain]

Chapter 278 - The fact that even when shocked, even despite all they did, the traitor nobles still refer to Raizel with respect... it hurts. They still love him, still care deeply for him, they're just also horrible people that can't be with him anymore. And it's that note of respect that truly makes it, you know? Any media can do the thing where someone you thought was long dead long gone long out of reach is right in front of you and so you call out their name in a daze, and it's heart-rending even then. But that tone of respect... Even after all that? After everything? You scheme and plan his death, you go centuries without him, and he's back and, Zarga, you can't refer to the antithesis of all your ideals, Urokai, you can't refer to the man whose driven you into an abyss of loathing, without willingly/habitually attaching an honorific? Why even try to convince yourself you had to betray him? Why deny that you love him? Why even have a heart when it's going to break reading this?

- Urokai's utter denial that it could be Raizel... My heart hurts.

- And after so long, he finally says what's been haunting him all along. It hurts doesn't it? And Zarga wanting him to stop. Is it because you don't want to hear the answer or because you don't want Urokai to hurt more when he hears the answer? Or is it simply because he's pained since Urokai, his friend, is pained and he wants to help but can't. Or maybe even now he can't bear disrespect against Raizel. Maybe it's all of that. Isn't it amazing just what that one word, a name, can mean with that expression and the way he says it?

- Honestly, even though what Urokai and Zarga did was unforgiveable and I'll never approve of their actions, I can never accept what Raizel does either. Pushing people away because you fear you may have to execute them one day... Treating those who care so deeply for you like they're nothing... If you wanted them to stay away you should have stopped them from visiting. Saying such things...

I also want to note how Zarga though hurt accepts it unlike Urokai, again showing their different motives. Yet his love for Raizel is still there as he asks for forgiveness. And his love for Urokai, always trying to rein him in. It's a form of protection really. Maybe if he doesn't ask, he won't receive the painful truth. Maybe if he isn't himself, people aside from Zarga will like him. Even if it isn't so deep, it's still affection. If he didn't care he'd let Urokai dig his grave deeper. And then there's Lunark lol. Urokai, Zarga, and Raizel are gonna have a very long moment while everyone else third wheels.

- The fact that Raizel changes from his Ye Ran outfit to the Lukedonian black and gold... my god. He isn't a student right now, he isn't a friend of the Ye Ran kids, he's not family to the household. He is the Noblesse, but also, he's the man that cares for the nobles who would visit him all those years ago. And against the two's white and gold? It represents their branching paths.

- And this is also where the problem lies. Raizel is even worse than most nobles with communication. He isn't necessarily insulting Urokai when he says he's always been talkative. It's a fact really, one noted out of affection. But that's the problem isn't it? Affection doesn't matter when the way you talk is designed for quippy one liners, for insults. There's only so much leeway you can give someone. And Urokai... later in a flashback he is said to be calm and implied to be quieter by Rayga. Fascinating isn't it? Since Urokai's not a quiet man. I suppose that's the one positive thing that came out of his betrayal. He lets himself talk more as is natural to him.

- Breaking the blood field, Raizel's two wings, the bloody tears... His tears are due to overexertion of his powers of course, but they also fit in simply as tears. Crying because you must execute people that you hold dearly and love.

Chapter 279 - What more can I even say that Urokai doesn't say himself? He's worried for Raizel even though he's the one who's caused this situation. He thinks that he and Zarga aren't worth Raizel's pain, aren't worth his life. Can you imagine? Even though he could die, his first thought isn't self preservation, it's that Raizel shouldn't be wasting his life on him. Raizel's silence here... Can it really be anything other than heart wrenching pain? How could he possibly reply to that? What could you possibly say? The only thing would be to beg them to stop breaking your heart, but Raizel... he doesn't know those words. Couldn't ever formulate them.

- Dragus and Lontrick, a hydra and east asian dragon. Truly stunning.

- One of the most, if not the most, iconic lines of Noblesse. The most painful too.

- Raizel would never mock anyone for not entering Eternal Sleep. And he doesn't even consider loyalty to Lukedonia a necessity. He and Ashoka share the same ideals, they both just have never been able to properly share them which is a fault that lies with them. But I really do want to point out how important this part is. Raizel, unlike the Lukedonian nobles and Frankenstein, doesn't consider not following the Lord into death cowardly. He doesn't think leaving Lukedonia in of itself is betrayal unlike the Lukedonian nobles, and doesn't think they need to be loyal to Lukedonia at all as long as they aren't causing harm. If the two of them had never joined the Union, if they'd simply settled down in some nice house and lived peacefully or joined society or anything else, they would never have been executed even after their betrayal of Raizel.

- Zarga's reason still sucks though.

- The reminder that Urokai would make tea for Raizel before Frankenstein ever arrived... the banter between him and Zarga... I still think Raizel's abysmal sweet tooth is because of Urokai and it's just one of the many lasting touches of them on him. After all, it's only natural that one's friends will leave an impact on them, even if none of them would call Raizel that and vice versa.

Sidenotes - Unlike other Elders Urokai always keeps his hood on. Maybe I'm reading too deep into it but symbolically it just feels as if it shows how he's hiding so so much. He shoves all his feelings towards Raizel deep into himself, denying any anguish he may feel from his betrayal and the semblance of realisation and knowledge that he is at fault to instead spend his years single mindedly pursuing Frankenstein. He's weighed down by it all and in actuality, he's the one keeping himself buried in that pain. Just like how he could simply lower his hood, he could have made the steps to understand Raizel in the past, he could have moved on instead of obsessing, he could have accepted that even if Raizel did favour Frankenstein and all the hurt that brings, that there were better things in life. Maybe it would have been difficult but he could have done it himself. And then, when he finally asks all the questions he's been keeping in over the years, as he and Zarga go to fight Raizel, he finally lowers his hood.

- Similarly both he and Zarga are very closely coded with their Union clothes and that white and gold. The only other Elders similarly coded that don't break out of said clothes are the 3rd and 9th Elders which makes sense since all four of these Elders are so deeply tied with the Union. 3rd has his entire story in the later chapters that make it extremely obvious why he's one of the pillars of the Union and how his loyalty lies with it, while 8th is also a pillar since he's it's most important human modifications scientist. However in the case of the two traitor nobles I'd say it's specifically because they're nobles. They're constantly juxtaposed in flashbacks where they have their black and gold instead, and I think why the white and gold is so important is since they both desperately need someplace to belong. Unlike the other willing traitors, Urokai only leaves because of Raizel. He has no problem with Lukedonia itself so now that he's lost his home, as a noble he attaches himself to the first similar structure he comes upon, the Union. Especially because it's shown that he truly has nothing after leaving Lukedonia because his only goal is to get rid of Frankenstein. Zarga's canonical reason meanwhile is that his ideals have changed and aren't compatible with Lukedonia anymore and so he then goes to the Union whose ideals he would therefore be compatible with. Even when ignoring canon and using my own hcs where he simply follows Urokai, it makes sense since that means he also has a gaping hole where home, where Lukedonia, used to be and he attaches himself to the Union, desperately trying to replace and fill said hole and fails because unlike Lukedonia, the Union isn't a community or a home. It's a cruel organisation that has long lost sight of what it started out as. Back to his canonical reason, he fits so well in the Union because he too has lost sight of himself. So Urokai and Zarga both are coded to the Union through their clothes because unlike the other traitors, the Union is all they have aside from each other.

- I do wonder what the markings under Zarga's eyes were meant to be. They aren't age lines but they're not coloured markings either even if that is what I make them when I draw him or my Siriana ocs.

-This entire arc makes me emotional. So so emotional. Because and I feel like I've said this a million times, I understand how Urokai feels. Giving your all to the person you care for, to someone you think is a friend, and slowly realising that they don't return that same effort, not even in their own way. That they'd choose people who don't understand nor care for them as much over you... Constantly wondering what these other people have that you don't. I've gotten over it now, but my god how long did it take? 1-2 years? And having moved on doesn't mean that if at times when I'm emotional and think back on it, it won't hurt. It doesn't mean that you've stopped loving them. This isn't even emotional only for me who has so much personal attachment, it's an arc many fans find painful because it is. And then there's also that little thing about time isn't there? Urokai appears for 6 chapters and somehow that's enough. You get to see him calm but wild, and then you learn what his wounds really are when Raizel appears. And Zarga, even with his subpar reasoning, his apparent cruelty that makes his character seem so much weaker and inconsistent, contributes to their dynamic which makes him mote interesting.

- I'm obviously more upset about how Raizel is for personal reasons but I do think, even objectively, he shouldn't have been so closed off. Yes being Lukedonia's judge and executioner isn't easy. Yes the chance of having to one day kill people you care for is painful. But that's something anyone in a position of power has to deal with. The Noblesse is also only really meant to deal with cases with extremely powerful opponents that cannot be dealt with by others such as clan leaders be it because of said power or because they are the ones being bad, or cases that can't be reached by others in time that the Noblesse is coincidentally in the area for. In 'Rai's Adventure', he isn't sent because it is his duty, but because Ashoka specifically wants him to go out every now and then. In other words, the things Raizel does, the lord, clan leaders, and even Central Knights have to do. He's only really special because of the magnitude and usage of his power, not because of his duties.

- Cried again. Going to go cry for a while. Urokai in this arc hurts me viscerally. Tears my heart to shreds and reassembles it only to put it through a grinder.

- Yes I have this much to say about only 6 chapters.

#noblesse #raining while reading #heartbreak arc #part 2

[oikirstein]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 | Kuroken | Day 1

Synopsis: Kenma has has loved his best friend, Kuroo, for a lifetime. After a misfortunate occurrence which was photographed by the media, the PR team for Bouncing Ball Corp. decide that it’s a good idea for Kenma and Kuroo to play along with the public to increase the sales of their upcoming product release. Will Kenma be able to control his emotions, or will he lose his best friend in the process?

Contains: Angst, unrequited love, fake relationship

Posted: 12/21/2020

Word count: 3,342

Haikyuu Angst Week Prompt List here.

I have been in love with Tetsuro Kuroo since I was seven years old.

I still love him—eighteen years later.

Growing up as best friends, he was never a hard person to love. He looks out for me, brought me out of my comfort zone, hell, he’s the reason why I’ve grown into who I am today. I’d never admit that to his stupid face, though.

I was seventeen when I realized my love for him was more than just platonic. He was a year older than me, so by the time I started my third year, he was already off to university. The harsh reality of the situation finally weighed heavy on me when I waited outside of his house for thirty minutes and remembered he’s not coming anymore.

He called me later that evening apologizing, although he did nothing wrong, because that’s just the type of person Kuroo was. The next week he surprised me by waiting outside my door to walk me to school.

“I miss this,” he reminisced, staring up at the sky.

“What?” I turned to him, heart racing just a little more than usual, hoping for a certain string of words to come out of his mouth.

“Walking to school like this every morning.”

They didn’t.

I don’t know what I was hoping for. Maybe I wanted him to say he missed walking with me. I’m not sure whether I’d rather hear lies or the truth. That was the day I admitted to myself that he’d be the only person for me.

Now here we are, me at 25 and him at 26 sitting in my office with my publicist yelling at us for being so reckless in public. It was a misunderstanding, really.

“How could you do that at a party where you knew there’d be press coverage?” Kata was pacing back and forth while I rested my forehead on my crossed arms that laid on the glass desk and Kuroo leaned back in his chair on the other side of the table.

“Kata,” she stopped mid-stride and turned her attention to me as I muttered, “how many times do I have to repeat myself,” I lifted my head back up, “IT ISN’T WHAT YOU THINK.”

Kuroo found it difficult to hold back his laugh.

“I don’t think you should be laughing, Kuroo-san. You’re in just as much trouble as Kozume-san.”

He stopped laughing.

“Anyway, it doesn’t matter what I think. It was never about what I thought. The point of my job is to make sure you look good for the public. Thats what a publicist does. Now the issue here, is that the public thinks you’re dating.”

“Okay, wow so all it takes is for me to fall, Kuroo to catch me, and some no-name photographer to snap a picture of us for us to be considered ‘dating’ now?” 

“Kozume-san if you play into this little charade, say for a couple months, just long enough for the new product to be released, sales will go up, and then you can just announce that you two called it quits.”

Was it really worth playing with my heart just to earn a quick buck? 

“No. I don’t want Kuroo to be forced to date me, that’s weird and embarrassing.” 

Kata walked forward and took a seat in the chair next to Kuroo before she leaned forward and rest her chin on her hand, “Here’s the thing Kozume-san, you two ‘dating’, doesn't even have to be real,” proud of her award-winning idea, she leaned back in her seat, arms folded across her chest, and a smug look written all over her face.

“So what you’re saying is to do this as a cash grab?” Kuroo seemed genuinely curious.

“Well somewhat. Think of it more like...fan service.”

“Hmmm...I mean if it’s a show they want then it’s a show they’ll get,” he reached over and smacked my back, “What do you say kitten? Be my scene partner?” he smirked.

Ugh. Why does he have to use those stupid nicknames that always make my heart flutter. My face was visibly cringing as i scrunched up my nose and scowled at him. He knows I could never truly refuse when it’s him.

“Fine,” I mumbled under my breath as I looked away.

Kuroo’s footsteps were light as he got up from his seat and went around the desk to sneak up behind me. He bent down and leaned in close towards my ear.

“What was that, puddin?” he whispered, his hot breath whipping through my loose strands of hair.

I jumped out of my seat and rubbed my ear with the sleeve of my jacket and he laughed his ugly, stupid, hyena laugh. 

“See! Look at that! You two aren’t even ‘dating’ and yet you have so much chemistry!” Kata said enthusiastically while clapping.

Of course we have chemistry. We’ve been best friends for eighteen years. Soulmates our whole lives. It was always easy to be around Kuroo. That’s one of the things I love about him. Why wouldn’t we have chemistry?

“Well, when you’ve been best friends with someone for like, your whole life, of course you’re gonna know exactly how to push his buttons,” his voice was breathy as he wiped tears from his eyes.

I didn’t realize it then, but I truly did sell my heart for pocket change.

A full month later was when we went out in public together as a “couple” for the first time. It was a simple brunch at a well known restaurant, but Kata made sure to anonymously tip paparazzi that we would be at that establishment. Together. It wasn’t even 30 minutes into our meal when we were bombarded with cameras.

“Today we are here with Kenma Kozume, the young CEO of Bouncing Ball Corp., and his supposed boyfriend, Tetsuro Kuroo, from the Japan Volleyball Association. Are any of you able to speak on the rumors spreading about the two of you?”

Kuroo had always been good at talking. He's been smooth with his words for as long as I could remember him. He was...a people person. The complete opposite of me, which is why we agreed that Kuroo would do most of the talking, should a camera crew show up.

He laughed, not the ugly hyena kind, it was an attractive laugh. That’s how I knew it wasn’t real.

“Well I mean we won’t confirm or deny anything right now, won’t we kitten?” he winked at me and suddenly all the attention was directed towards my direction.

Idiot. Two can play at that game.

“Im pretty sure whatever the public is thinking is probably true, hm Tetsu?”

I’ve never called him that before, so it was obvious he was shocked. Big eyes and blushy cheeks. We gave the camera exactly what it wanted.

“Is that a confirmation?” the man behind the camera was provoking us for an answer.

“It’s whatever you want it to be,” he smirked before taking his chopsticks back into his hand and grabbing a plate full of beef, “Now if you gentlemen will excuse us, we’d like to continue our lunch date.”

Satisfied with the content they would now be able to work with, the cameras slowly started retreating from the scene until it was just us two again.

“Damn maybe I should’ve gone into show business,” he smirked.

“Shut up, they might still be around,” I whispered while looking down, incase we were still being watched.

“How do you know I was talking about that. I could just simply be saying that I would’ve been amazing on T.V.”

“No you wouldn’t,” I replied, monotonous voice, as I took a bite of some barbecue and rice.

“Kenma, why do you have to break my heart like this? What if I was born to be an actor?”

“Uhm I don’t know about you, but I’ve never seen an actor that has the same hairstyle twenty-four seven, three hundred sixty-five days a year.”

“That’s a technicality. Why should hair define my amazing acting abilities?”

“Then I want to see you shave your head and wear a wig.”

Kuroo froze in the middle of whatever movement he was making and just stared at the grill in the middle of the table with a horrified expression written on his face.

“You know what? Maybe I wasn't meant to be an actor...”

Outings usually continued on like this. We would have little interviews with paparazzi, slowly dropping more and more hints about our “relationship,” and once they left, we’d have breakfast, lunch, or dinner, like we usually do. I suppose to any outsider it would seem as though we were on a date, but I wouldn’t allow myself to call this pitiful get together as such.

I could pretend this was real. I could tell myself that Kuroo reciprocated my feelings. I could tell myself that we were truly in a relationship. I could tell myself I have a chance, but a mere sliver of probability isn’t worth risking our friendship. 

Since I was seventeen I accepted the fact that I’d be happy as long as he was in my life. I mean, he’d still smile the same. He’d still laugh the same. He’d still love me... 

I’m supposed to be content with what I have. It’s either we stay as best friends, or we go on as strangers, and I’d rather avoid the latter. So why do I feel such a tightness in my chest whenever we’re forced to go out together? Why do I feel so selfish for wanting more?

Two months went by until we had to make an actual appearance together at a party. Me under Kuroo’s arm like some sort of bittersweet candy. 

He was always good at reading people—especially me. Which is why he pulled me aside before we walked into the huge rental house. The only reason I agreed to show up was because it was Shoyo’s team celebrating their win against some team who’s name I can’t remember.

“You okay Ken?” he rested both hands on my shoulders with my back against the wall.

“Yeah, I just need a second.”

I never did like big crowds.

After taking a few minutes to breathe before submitting myself to the abyss of rowdy adrenaline-high athletes, Kuroo took my hand in his as we walked through the front doors together. It was warm. Like my fingers were molded to fit perfectly into his palm. Must’ve been why I felt so cold when he let my hand go.

As soon as the camera flashed and Bokuto called him from the other side of the room, he whispered an “I’ll be back kitten,” before joining the beefy player by the bar. 

I guess I’ll go find Shoyo.

It wasn’t long until I saw a bush of bright orange bobbing up and down through a sea of people.

“Shoyo!”

“Kenma!”

“Congratulations on your win.”

“Thank you! I wouldn’t want to disappoint my sponsor,” he winked, “Do you want to step outside? It’s a little loud in here.”

Whether he means to or not, Shoyo’s always been good at making sure people feel comfortable.

“Uhm, Shoyo?” I grabbed the hem of his shirt and tugged a little to get his attention.

“What’s up?” he practically had to yell over the loud music and the incessant yelling of the surrounding people.

“Can we get a beer first?”

A smile spread across his face, “Of course, just wait for me by the fire outside.”

I followed his instructions and sat in one of the red lawn chairs that snaked around the circular bonfire.

“How’ve you been?” the ginger said while handing me an opened beer and sitting in the chair next to me.

“I’ve been alright. Things are running smoothly for the product release—”

“I didn't ask about how work was, Kenma,” he interrupted, “How are you?”

“Oh. Uhm...I’m keeping it together.”

He leaned back in the plastic chair and took a sip from his drink, “So you and Kuroo-san, huh?”

I looked around to make sure no one was near us. I could never lie to Shoyo.

“Barely,” I mumbled as I, myself, took a big gulp.

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“It’s an act. All because of a misunderstanding from a few months ago.”

“Well did you have a choice?”

“Not really.”

“That's unfortunate. I thought you would’ve told him how you felt by now.”

“Wait- what do you mean ‘how I felt?’ You knew?”

“I may not be that bright, but I have eyes, Kenma. I can see the way your eyes gloss over when he calls you one of those cute pet names, or the way your cheeks redden when he does that weird laugh at your jokes.”

“Hmm... You’re more observant than I thought, Sho.”

“So why haven’t you told him?”

Just thinking about confessing scared the shit out of me. All I can imagine is the disgusted look on his face when I tell him. The scenario plays over and over again in my head—the one where he walks away and fades into the background. I don’t know when I started crying, but I had only realized it when I heard the glass of Shoyo’s bottle tap the ground.

“What’s wrong?”

I wiped the hot tears from my cheeks with my wrist.

“I guess I just love him too much to lose him.”

Two weeks after that party, we had another meeting at the office.

“This has been going great so far!” Kata exclaimed, obviously proud of her idea, “Have you ever thought of being an actor?” she teased Kuroo.

“See! That’s what I’ve been telling Kenma, but apparently my untamable hair is standing in the way between me and fame.”

“You’re already all over the news, idiot.”

“And all thanks to my little kitten,” he walked over to my seat behind my desk and peppered my cheek in kisses.

“We’re not in public, you can stop acting all lovey dovey,” I spat. I didn’t even think about my words until Kata’s effervescent expression changed into a state of confused shock. She wasn’t sure how she should react to my outburst.

“W-what? It’s all fun and games, Ken,” Kuroo was taken aback by my response as well, but he hid it much better than my publicist.

“It always is with you,” I got up and walked out of office. I couldn't take it anymore. All this pretending and toying with my heart. I felt bad for blaming it all on Kuroo, when he couldn’t have possibly known about my feelings, but it was easier to blame him for my pain than to admit to myself that I’m a coward. 

I rounded the corner and continued on my way to the vending machine to get an energy drink. Those always seemed to put me in a better mood.

Kuroo knew me well. Who wouldn’t after eighteen years? That’s probably why he knew exactly where to find me.

“What the hell was that, Kenma?”

I pulled up the tab of the can and let the hiss of carbonation fizzle out before I took a sip and leaned against the wall.

“What was what?” 

“You’re little scene in there? What’s going on?”

“Nothing is going on.”

“You’re lying to me.”

 I looked off to the side, my eyes scanning every row in the vending machine, “I just think it’s time to call quits on this charade we have going on,” I responded dryly.

“Huh? Why? It’s only a couple more weeks until the release. Why end it now?”

“I’m tired, Kuroo. I don’t want to have to pretend all the time anymore.”

I was never an emotional person, so I knew that in this moment Kuroo knew something catastrophic was going on inside my head, for me to put myself before the potential success of the company.

“It’s just for a little while longer and then we can go back to normal, okay? Can you just hold out until then?”

“No. You’re not listening to me. Why the hell do you want to keep doing this. This doesn’t benefit you in the slightest.”

“Because I love you,” my heart rate went up at these words although I knew he didn’t mean them in the way I wish he did, “You’re my best friend and I want to see you thrive.”

“Why are you always putting yourself on the line for me?”

“Putting myself on the line? What are you—”

“I’m so selfish! And then you over here,” I rolled my eyes at him before kicking my weight off the wall, “You constantly give but you never take!”

“I don’t see the issue with that.”

“You’re too good for me,” I looked to the ground because I knew that if I looked up into his gorgeous hazel eyes, I would definitely cry. 

“That’s not true—”

“Yes it is and you know it,” my voice was on the verge of cracking from how tired I was from arguing.

“You know what? You look like you need some space. Think about things okay? I’m only a phone call away. I’ll see you at the launch party,” he walked away.

The day of the launch party was a bore. Just a bunch of business men in suits and the growing anxiety in the pit of my stomach, for Kuroo had yet to show up like he promised. 

It was half-past twelve when I stepped outside the venue to get some fresh air. The second I opened the doors was when I saw him pacing back and forth, deep in thought.

“Kuroo?”

“Kenma! I’m so sorry about what happened a few weeks ago—”

I did nothing but hugged him like I was going to lose him.

“Why are you apologizing? I was the one that had a tantrum.”

“Well you’re not the only one that got mad.”

“Let’s go for a walk?”

He nodded and draped his heavy arm over my shoulder before he took another step.

“Well so far sales have been good. Almost linear.”

“I’m glad I was able to help. So this is the end, huh?”

We both stopped in the middle of the side walk. I didn’t want it to end. The handholding, the hugs, the camera kisses. I wanted all of it. I so badly wanted all of it to be real. Maybe it’s because I spent half the night drinking, or maybe it’s because his midnight hair ricocheted the moonlight ever so perfectly, that I felt a courage rush through me like never before.

“Why does it have to end?”

“Didn’t you say like three weeks ago that you wanted to end our little ‘relationship?’”

“I don’t mean it like that. I mean,” I unwrapped myself from his limb and stepped in front of him, “I’m in love with you, Tetsu. I have been for eighteen years.”

A piece of my heart cracked when he took a step back, face pale, and eyes widened.

“What?”

I wanted to take a step forward, but for some reason, my feet were glued to the ground.

“I love you.”

He smiled assuringly before he laughed to lighten the air. The same type of laugh he’s used to fool reporters. 

“You’re my best friend, Kenma.”

“I know. I’ll never be more than that, right?”

“You know I love you,” I wouldn’t dare get my hopes up again at those words, “You’re like a little brother to me.”

Damn. Is this what it feels like for my heart to be so irreparably shattered? Physical pain spread from my chest throughout my body. To the tips of fingers and toes.

“I—” he started, before giving you that diabetes inducing smile, “I should go.”

I watched him walk away. It was a vision from my worst nightmare. When did it all change? Is this what my selfishness was bound to lead to?

What was supposed to be a simple marketing tactic, turned out to be a fate worse than death. I was heartbroken to think he was my soulmate, but I wasn’t his.

© all content [unless stated otherwise] belongs to gellysticks 2020. do not modify or repost.

reblogs are greatly appreciated :)

#haikyuu #fanfiction #haikyuu fanfiction #kuroo #tetsuro kuroo #kuroo tetsuro #kenma #kozume kenma #kenma kozume #kuroken #angst #haikyuu angst #kuroo x kenma #kenma x kuroo #kuroken angst #i am so sorry for this #haikyuu angst week #haikyuu angst week 2020 #gel scribbles

[iamoncewas]

By the end of KH3 Sora has become aware of his "fate". He says he knows that it will lead him "home". YMX told Sora he was done, and his time in this world was over. We see in the secret ending that he is not home, and is, I think, in the "abyss." Where no one should be able to find him. So why would the intro monologue suggest his mental state when he seems to be in a not great situation?

Sora's home is Destiny Islands. I believe Sora, Kairi, and Riku and their name choices reflect the island itself, land in the middle of sea and sky. The island itself then, is Riku. Their home. So one of the intended meanings of this statement, I think, is that Sora now knows that what he feels for Riku is beyond friendship, or romance: it's fate. He knows that they are fundamentally connected, and even though they are seperate they are a greater whole. They were destined to be by each others' side. He shows that he kind of instinctively knows this in DDD, but he doesn't yet understand the scope. But Joshua gets it.

Even though Sora is lost in the deepest darkness and no one should be able to find him, Riku does. They are seperated, but they aren't. This is what the Power of Waking was intended for, traversing hearts to reach worlds. Riku was led by Sora's heart. Sora also used the power correctly when he opened the door to the Realm of Darkness following Riku and Aqua's hearts, and when he woke Ventus.

When they do their Mark of Mastery exam, which Sora only agrees to after hearing Riku question if he himself is still worthy to wield, it culminates in Riku literally unlocking Sora's heart. Once Sora is freed from the Armored Ventus Nightmare [which I think was Vanitas possessing Ventus's armor] he sinks deeper into his heart's darkness. Riku picks up Sora's dropped Kingdom Key, which was once his, to do this, instead of using Way to the Dawn. Keyblades could be said to be the key to ones heart, and he gave his to Sora. He then used it to unlock Sora's heart, freeing him. This is literal and metaphorical, and I think this is why, in KH3, Sora can now Formchange instead of using Drive Forms. Drive Forms incurred a penalty for overuse in Anti Form. Formchanges do not, and I think this is Sora's true power as a keyblade wielder, the ability to change the manifestations of his keyblade, and to be able to wield so fluidly. Which is why they no longer incur a penalty, because Sora is using his powers as a keyblade wielder properly for the first time. Final Form has been replaced with Ultimate Form, which is Sora's true... ultimate form.

So Sora did achieve the Power of Waking during his exam, and like Ventus said, he never lost it.

So then why the hell did Yen Sid only name Riku a Master if Sora achieved all this power? Why did he send Sora to find the Power of Waking when he already had it?

Because Riku discovered the source of true strength, which is what truly matters; true love. His motivation is Sora.

This is that "untold power and wisdom" Kingdom Hearts holds that people covet so much and start Keyblade Wars over. It's just the power of true love. And it resides in every heart.

While Sora was affected by Riku unlocking his heart, Yen Sid knows that he hasn't yet discovered what the source of his true strength is, his love for Riku. Which is why he sends him right on over to Hercules, so Herc can tell him about his act of sacrifice for Meg. Yen Sid knows what's up, which makes me think he might have the Book of Prophecies and is aware of Sora and Riku's ultimate importance.

While Sora derps around Olympus, Riku and Mickey talk about his newfound inner strength, his resolve, and how it comes from his desire to protect what matters. Sora. When Way to the Dawn breaks, this is reference to him completely overcoming the darkness within him, his jealousy, fear, doubt. It manifested from Soul Eater, which manifested from his heart's darkness. His new keyblade is Braveheart. It has 9 notches, the 7 at the tip I believe representing the hearts of the 7 Princesses, the 7 Pure Lights. And the other 2 near the hilt representing himself and Sora. It also has a Mickey token, whereas Way to the Dawn did not. This is significant because the only other keyblades with Mickey tokens are the Kingdom Keys. So Braveheart is of the same nature as Kingdom Key, directly tied to Kingdom Hearts. And Riku and Sora's combined keyblade, when complete, has a Hidden Mickey near the hilt.

It's hard to tell when Sora actually realizes that's hes meant to be with Riku. In the tunnel, after rescuing everyone's heart but Kairi's, when he finds her, he gives her all the credit for his surviving. So this to me implies that when he said this, he didn't get it yet, since he doesnt mention Riku at all. And he says the light was her even though he instinctively called out Riku's name when he first saw it, contradicting himself.

But right after that it shows scenes of Rapunzel and Eugene, and Anna and Elsa after their respective acts of sacrifice. Specifically, it shows the joyful embraces afterwards. In Arendelle that scene went like this:

This is when he realized what exactly Riku was saying to him through his act of self sacrifice. Which was, "I love you." And I think he also realizes that love is what reversed death in both of these cases. Like Elsa says, "Of course. Love!"

And then upon arriving back, this happens.

When he reached for that light, I think he saw Riku reaching out to him [which has kind of become his... signature stance, reaching out his hand to Sora]. Even though Riku isn't standing there when they arrive. Nobody is. Which is why he looks so flabbergasted that theres nothing there. Sweet Kairi then asks him if hes okay, and shes talking about on an emotional level. Kairi knows Sora had a profound realization through this ordeal. Kairi knows. So I think Sora also knows at this point, which would have been the turning point in the timeline. So in the first timeline that ended with Riku's death, he apparently didn't get the message for whatever reason. He never heard Riku's "I love you." Or, if he did, he did not take it seriously enough. [I'm now convinced one of the stars in the Final World was the Riku who died in the original timeline, and he showed Sora those visions. If it was, this would have been why Sora didn't get the message originally. Because Riku wasn't dead yet. So this Riku star is waiting in the Final World for HIS Sora, the Master of Masters. Who isn't dead. Once the MoM gives his heart to the present Riku and is healed, I believe he will pass on like Repliku did, and join his Riku in death. He won't need to exist, because the world already has Sora. Like what Repliku said to Riku.][Also, its heartbreaking that Riku had to die for Sora to realize how much he means to him. Keep in mind the meanings of the Re:Mind title Nomura gave: reminder, being reminded of something, reconfirmation, confirming it AGAIN, and hearts regeneration.]

Data-Namine said Sora had very painful memories that would be too much for him if he became aware of them, but they are not his memories. I believe there are memories in there related to the fact that he was going to have to choose between Riku and Kairi eventually. He originally sacrificed Riku to save Kairi and he lost everything. In chess, any piece except the king may be sacrificed.

Kairi's sacrifice allowed Riku to live in this timeline. [I see people refer to what happened to Kairi as fridging, but really, it was a sacrifice that I believe she was aware had to happen. A noble act of true love, just like Riku's act of self sacrifice] So to me this confirms my suspicion that Foreteller Ava is Kairi/Namine/Xion. Which is why she never appeared in the Epilogue. She carried out her role, which was to ensure the survival of the light. And she did. Riku survived through Kairi's sacrifice [showing that Kairi holds immense love for both Sora and Riku]. This is why, when she questioned the Master about her given role, if she were the right person for it, he replied thusly:

The 7 hearts that must be saved not only referred to Sora's friends after their death, but also to the hearts of the Master and his 6 Apprentices. Ava has been saved. She is safe, or the... many manifestations of her are. The others still have parts to play, and Sora is now following his heart to Riku, [his fate] and as long as he does that, they will be saved. I also find Ava to have the most devotion to, belief in, and trust in their Master than any of the others. I find this parallel to Kairi's unwavering belief in Sora. Only Luxu may have equal devotion, weirdly enough. He went through quite alot at the will of his Master, and his face shows it.

Gula's role was to find the traitor and stop them. I believe Gula must be Demyx. This just sounds dumb, since Gula is so cool and Demyx is a goon. But there is one Demyx moment everyone remembers because it was so very out of character for him.

While many Org members referred to Sora as traitor in reference to Roxas, I believe this is a hint to Demyx's past, now that its confirmed that hes an ancient keyblade wielder. And like he says to Sora:

So Demyx/Gula will play a part in Sora and Vanitas's reunion. If Vanitas's heart is lost Sora will never be complete, so they must unite in order for Sora to become what he was destined to be, the Master of Masters. Along with Riku, the True King, they will be the World's defenders, just what Kingdom Hearts made them for, and what their entire journey has led to. Everything happened exactly the way it had to for them to become what they are.

Almost like it was their fate or something.

#kh3 spoilers #soriku endgame actually #kh3 theory #kh theories #soriku #kh spoilers #riku is the light #master of masters #this post is killing me with gifs not working so replaced them with screenshots lol

[usagi-chan95]

So a few days ago I was on TV tropic looking up a few shows I like and of course I'm a huge Umineko Fan so I looked up the character and everybody who knows me just a little bit now I said I ship this one character with Black Hat. So why not list all hee traits that he would probably like about her. In the end I think the two would get along with each other.

Affably Evil: She is completely indifferent towards the suffering of everybody else, but she sure is polite.

All-Powerful Bystander: She has more than enough power to solve any problem in the setting or destroy everything in the blink of an eye if she wanted to. Fortunately, Featherine prefers to remain a spectator for the most part while she lets Bernkastel cause all the trouble she wants. The one time she does intervene in the plot during her "fight" with Lambdadelta we see that everything would have been lost with Featherine as an active enemy.

Always Someone Better: Bernkastel is regarded as the strongest Witch, but even she knows not to get on Featherine's bad side. Even Lambdadelta, who was more than holding her own against Bernkastel earlier, is terrified at the thought of having Featherine as an opponent. It makes sense when you realize Featherine is not just a Witch, but a Creator as well. She may just be a Witch in name only.

Ambiguously Evil: Both Bern and Lambda describe her as extremely nasty, and indeed she doesn't think much of humans, but she doesn't really have any Kick the Dog moments, and in the end she gives up on publicly revealing the contents of Eva's diary, thus preserving the catbox as Battler and Beato wished.

Curb-Stomp Battle: Delivers one to Lambdadelta in Episode 8. Special mention to the fact that Featherine didn't even have fight at all; she simply wrote down "I utterly defeated Lambdadelta and sliced her into pieces". And then poof, Lambda is completely dismembered.

The Dreaded: Anyone that can inspire genuine fear from Lambdadelta and even Bernkastel is definitely not to be trifled with.

Evil Mentor: Implied to have been Bernkastel's in the ???? of EP6.

The Fog of Ages: She has lived for so long that she needs a special horseshoe-shaped device around her head to keep her memories and avoid insanity.

God Is Evil: Averted, though just barely. She's not so much evil as she is uncaring of how she achieves her goals... though given the things she does do in the story (and apparently before it), you'd be forgiven for thinking it was played straight.

Greater-Scope Villain: Featherine is said to be a Witch thousands of times more powerful and evil than Bernkastel could ever be, but she never becomes a direct villain to the story and remains a bystander for the most part. However, she is indirectly responsible for all the problems from EP7 afterwards as she was the one who gave Bernkastel the power to keep messing with the game board because she wanted Bernkastel to rip the game apart for her and give her the answers to the mystery.

Insult Backfire: When Lambda pulls a You Monster! on her, she takes it as a compliment, which really makes you wonder what amount of chaos she caused in her distant past. It's fully possible that, being Bernkastel's mentor, she possess a trolling capacity far surpassing her miko Bern's... and considering Bern is the most malicious character in the story, that is a scary thought.

It Amused Me: The main reason she doesn't fit into God Is Evil instead. Physical Godliness and lack of a Freudian Excuse notwithstanding, she's still a Witch at heart and will do whatever it takes to keep herself entertained.

Lack of Empathy: Definitely, but better off than Bernkastel at least. Like any other Witch, Featherine sees human lives as nothing but means of entertainment, but she can show her respect to her opponents when it's due and at least now, doesn't seek to actively make others miserable for amusement's sake.

Manipulative Bitch: In the past, she's used Bernkastel as her monkey wrench to unlock the mysteries of worlds and game boards alike, whether Bern wanted to do it or not. Worse yet, Bern was aware she was being used but couldn't do anything about it because Featherine was just that good. This does in fact happen in the story, where she makes Bern the Game Master to crack the mystery of Rokkenjima when the rest of the cast loses interest in it, using Bern's desire for revenge against the family as her motivation.

Offstage Villainy: Bernkastel, the cruelest example of a witch so far seen, finds her a hundred times more horrific than she could ever be. The evidence is suggested at, but never concretely shown. Within the series, Featherine never does anything nearly as horrible as the other witches. Of course, Bernkastel is no doubt very biased, seeing as how she came into existence because of Featherine's callousness and indifference. She probably has room to exaggerate.

The Older Immortal: By far the oldest witch in the series.

The Omnipotent: Without a doubt, the most powerful character in the setting. She's perfectly capable of pausing the plot when she wants a scene to play out a different way.

Outside-Context Problem: Needless to say Featherine is in a whole other league compared to the other witches Battler deals with in the story, which is really saying something. A single wave of her hand to make Bernkastel the Game Master is all she needed to do turn Battler's happy ending into a non-ending.

Physical God: One of the Creators described in Episode 4's TIPS.

The definitive example is that she's ultimately the one responsible for bringing Bernkastel as we know herinto existence. It's heavily implied that she was the one who abandoned Bern as a piece in the Unwinnable game (that she ended up winning anyway), and while it's never explained how she pieced together/recruited all the physically and emotionally destroyed Rika Furudes, it's made clear in the narration that Featherine was the one who taught what would eventually become her miko and the Cruelest Witch. And why? Because she was bored and wanted someone to help stave off future boredom.It's not so much that she meant harm by creating Bern, more that she doesn't care as long as she is entertained.

If you want a more "literal" example, she can use her power to rewrite the script of reality itself and have people do as she dictates. And you would never even know she's doing it.

Really 700 Years Old: She is said to be older than Bernkastel and Lambdadelta, both who are said to be centuries old. By the way it's alluded, Featherine might as well be a Time Abyss.

Retired Monster: Given what Bernkastel and Lambadelta say about (and to) her, this is heavily implied. Featherine herself personally thinks she's much worse.

Rewriting Reality: Her power as a Witch/Creator and as an Author Avatar. Featherine can literally rewrite the script of reality itself to make events go as however she likes. She doesn't even need to write how things go, she only needs to write the result.

Story-Breaker Power:

Literally. When Lambdadelta tries to attack her with magic, Featherine just says that she doesn't like the development of the story, stops time and begins editing the script of the story herself. Not willing to write a fight scene at the moment, she starts from the end of the fight where she dictates Lambdadelta was smashed into a bookshelf and had all her limbs severed. She doesn't even think about how she accomplished such a brutal attack, deciding to "figure it out later". When Featherine starts time again, Lambdadelta ends up just as she wrote, with "what the fuck just happened" being her last conscious thoughts before dying.

She couldn't comprehend the 'something' that Featherine had killed her with. However, that was only natural. After all, Featherine herself hadn't decided what the 'something' was. However, Lambdadelta did understand one thing. She was already dead.

You Cannot Grasp the True Form: The memory device around her head also preserves her form. At one point in the past it got damaged, abruptly changing her personality and appearance. Her witch power also allows her to weaponize this. Refer to the spoiler in Story-Breaker Power above.

#Black Hat x Featherine Augustus Aurora #My crazy ship #i don't care i ship it