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lilulo-12fanfiction · 4 years

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Flicker, Fade- Sneak Peek

Hey kids! I’m in the midst of working on a Steve Rogers x Reader request. I wanted to put out a sneak peek. I’m trying to decide if I’m going to put it all into one story or do multi-parts...because you know...I need to be working on ANOTHER series. But you know how it goes!

This is a combo of two requests. @justkending requested a Steve Rogers x Reader with prompts: “I warned you about him, yet again you didn’t listen.” and “It’s 6am- you’re not having vodka. @asgardiangurll requested a Steve Rogers x Reader with with prompts:”I’m never going to stop protecting you.”“You are seriously like a man child”

As always likes, comments and reblogs are SO APPRECIATED. Requests are open (Avengers, Supernatural, TVD/The Originals. I do dabble in some Green Arrow and The Flash (DC TV Only please). Prompt list can be found here.

Please let me know if you would like to be added to this tag list or one of my others.

Avengers Tag List: @shreddedparchment @fanfictionjunkie1112@this-is-mycrisis @geeksareunique

Avengers Masterlist

Fate is a funny thing. Your mother always used to tell you that everything happened for a reason. The idea that going through difficult times to prepare you for what was to come or to lead you to something better kept you going, even in your darkest of times.

You grew up in New England with your mother, father and baby sister Ella. She had been the best surprise of your lives. You were 13 when your mother got pregnant. Everything happens for a reason and you were thrilled to have a sibling.

You were sassy and sarcastic just like your mother. You got your intelligence from your father and while things typically came easy to you; Your parents had made sure you were sufficiently challenged and worked incredibly hard. You had been granted the honor of Valedictorian your senior year in High School. As a graduation gift and an 18th birthday present, You, your parents and your sister took a trip to tour Europe. You had never been happier.l, you were one of those kids that would rather hang out with your parents than a bunch of friends. Spending time with Ella was the highlight of your day, every day. The day of your 18th birthday had been one of your happiest. You spent an incredible day at Brighton Beach building sand castles with Ella and enjoying the amusement park rides in the seaside resort town. Her laugh as you whipped around the tilt-a-whirl would be embedded in your soul for the rest of your days. Your dad had ridden with you on all of the roller coasters and rides deemed too scary by Ella. Your mom wasn’t much of a ride person, but damn did she love her carnival games. Once you were back in London, your life would be changed forever. One moment your father was driving the three of you down the street laughing about how strange it was to drive on the opposite side of the street and the next you were being T-Boned by another vehicle.

Your parents and sister had been killed on impact. You had barely survived. Someone had pulled you from the wreckage. You were rushed to the hospital and woke up 2 days later. Before you even opened your eyes you knew something was different. You were completely healed. No lasting injuries, no deficits except the gaping hole in your heart. The doctor there tried to calm your anxieties, telling you everything was fine and you were just lucky. Somehow you knew the doctor was lying to you about how you had been treated. That night you had gone into the bathroom to examine yourself and were shocked by what you saw. Your natural hair color had been transformed into a liquid black that cascaded down your body. The most startling change was your eyes. Your once very normal eye color had been transformed into a shade of violet.

You had been frantically studying your altered appearance when the little girl sharing your hospital room bad woken up crying after a nightmare. You had sat down on her bed to comfort her. That was when you knew someone in that hospital had done something to you. By simply placing your hand over her arm, the bruises she had from falling out of a tree healed. You had heard about enhanced humans, you had seen them on your TV. Someone had turned you into one. The doctors that healed you had no idea what they had created, they couldn’t have. They never would have let you leave. The fear of becoming a lab rat caused you to keep it to yourself and when they finally discharged you, you got back to the US as fast as you could.

You had tried to dye your hair back to its normal state, but nothing would change the jet black that framed you. You took to wearing blue contacts to make your eyes appear a more normal color. You found out the doctor that treated, turned you into what you had become was looking for you. Once your family was returned home and buried you disappeared from everything you had known and loved about your home. You effectively erased Y/N Y/L/N from existence by faking your own death. People were led to believe you took your own life. After loosing everything you loved it wasn’t hard for people to believe. You had to leave everything about who you were behind.

Three years later, with a new identity, you were living in New York City working as a freelance journalist. You had changed your name to Camille Ballard and were trying to live a semblance of a normal life pretending you didn’t have any special abilities when a man opened fire on a huge crowd. You had grabbed a nearby child, held them close to you to protect them. Without evening trying, you formed a purple force field around the two of you, saving both of your lives. As soon as you realized what happened, you rushed home and packed as much of your belongings as fast as you could and planned on making a break for it. If that doctor saw footage of what you just did, he might figure out you were alive and come looking again.

Luckily for you, Iron Man had been there to help with the situation and saw what you had done. Before you had the chance to catch a bus, he found you and was set on recruiting you for The Avengers.

“Mr. Stark...you’re mistaken. That wasn’t me. I’m nobody. I’m like a ghost.” You were desperate to convince him you weren’t who he thought you was. But he knew.

“Then why are you trying to bolt with almost everything you own? C’mon kid...you don’t have to live a life on the run. I can help you. You don’t HAVE to be a ghost.” He wouldn’t relent and he wouldn’t let you leave.

Even though everything in your brain told you to run, your lonely heart was begging you to trust him, to let him in. He had saved the world more than once and here he was offering to save you. Your heart won and you broke down and told him your story. Tony Stark, with all of his bravado held you as you sobbed for your lost family, your identity and assuaged your fears of not knowing what had been done to you.

“Cam...I can call you Cam right?” His kind smile put you at ease. He made quite a few promises to you. He offered you a home and a family of sorts. He promised that he would find out what had been done to you. He promised to give you a purpose. Just like you knew that doctor was lying to you the day your parents died, you knew you could trust Tony Stark. Your mother’s voice telling you everything happened for a reason echoed in your brain. You had been given a gift, it was your responsibility to use it to do something good in this world. It was the best way to honor your parents and sister.

Tony eased you into life at The Avengers compound. He insisted you see a trauma counselor to really deal with the loss of your family. You had protested at first, you didn’t want to open up those wounds. He brought you to meet Pepper. She was the one that convinced you to get the emotional help you needed. She told you about Tony’s PTSD and how it had affected both of them. She promised that she and Tony would be there for you as you dealt with all of the pain you had buried for years. You finally agreed.

Once you were settled, Tony and Bruce began running tests to see if they could figure out what had happened to you. Best they could tell, someone had injected you with a serum, they just couldn’t figure out exactly what it was. Clearly it had been experimental because neither of them had seen anything like your blood work before. Bruce had been fascinated by your blood test results. Tony had been able to get his hands on old blood work from a well child visit when you were a kid to compare it to your blood today.

“Whatever they gave you changed your DNA entirely.” Bruce had been entirely fascinated until he saw the look on your face. “I’m sorry Camille. I know you feel like a science project.” Bruce knew all too well what it was like to be changed to your core. You realized that day you had made the right decision by coming to the compound. For the first time in years, you didn’t feel alone.

6 months after you had gotten there Tony had taken to calling you The Protector. You could heal yourself and others. Your fight or flight response produced the protective force field that would encompass you and anyone close to you. After a few months of work you could create them on demand. Your enhancements also made you as close to a human lie detector as someone could get. It took intense concentration to be able to tell if someone was trying to deceive you. Your new abilities made it so you couldn’t be hurt by anything physically or emotionally by anyone’s lies.

Once you had handle on what you could do, you needed to be able to fight, protective force fields weren’t enough. Offense was just as important as defense. Tony had paired you up with Bucky Barnes for your training. He and Bucky had gotten past their differences and Tony was in a mission to help put the Sergeant back together again. Tony was good at fixing people. You were Bucky’s first real assignment. Tony had a feeling that you would help James Barnes as much as he would help you.

Tony had been right. You kept a wall around yourself built with bricks of sarcasm, sass and witty comebacks. Bucky recognized this immediately and sought to dismantle your carefully constructed barrier to block anyone from getting too close to you. One night he had pushed you past your limits and you had broken down. Once the floodgates opened you couldn’t shut them. Bucky was the only other person you confided your full story in. Like Tony, you knew your secrets were safe with him.

Bucky had experienced his fair share of loss. He had been experimented on without his permission. He understood, he could empathize. He used your training to help you work through your anger and grief. You excelled under his instruction. You were a hell of a hand to hand fighter and other than Bucky you had the best shot in the compound. Your aim and speed with a firearm was impeccable. Slowly, Bucky became your best friend.

After almost two years of hard work and training you had been officially made an Avenger and had been working mission after mission for almost 8 months straight. It felt great to be able to help so many people, including your teammates. But you needed a little break to recharge. You requested some time off and decided to let loose a little bit. You had spent the evening out with some of the SHEILD agents. You had become friends with a couple of the girls that were in the cadet training program.

“Cami, I warned you about him, yet again you didn’t listen. You never listen when it comes to guys.” Bucky was giving you the once over. 6AM and you had stumbled back into the compound. You had stayed with one of the girls to sober up a little bit and were hoping to sneak back in unnoticed but Bucky was up early to train with Steve.

“I know...I know. But he was so cute, I was hoping he’d try to be a gentleman.” You pulled a bottle of Tony’s expensive Vodka out of the cabinet Bucky raises his eyebrows. “Just trying to ease into the hangover.” He grinned and shook his head. As you poured a shot, the bane of your existence stormed into the kitchen. Steve Rogers looked your tight jeans, heels and fitted black T-Shirt and scoffed in judgment.

“There you are Camille, I’ve been trying to find you since last night. Are you just getting home?” You gave him a deadpanned look. “Is there a reason why Agent Harrington is out of field work for two weeks with a broken nose and two black eyes and a concussion?” He had his hand on his hip and he was glowering at you.

“Well Agent Handsy was given fair warning” Bucky leaned against the counter. Watching you and Steve verbally spar was his favorite show. You said you hated Steve and his self righteous attitude. Steve said you got under his skin and didn’t appreciate your mouth and sarcasm. It was really a poor way to veil your mutual attraction. He saw how your eyes would linger on Steve while training. He watched Steve’s eyes soften on you anytime he thought no one was looking.

“What do you mean?” Steve’s voice dropped lower. First he was ready to rip you a new one, but he didn’t like the idea of anyone putting unwelcome hands on you. He rolled his jaw wanting to give the agent a few injuries himself.

“He thought that buying me two drinks gave him permission to put his hands on my ass. I told him otherwise. He did it again and I told him if he didn’t keep his hands to himself I was going to break his face. He thought that was an invitation to try and dip his hand down the back of my pants. I saw that as an invitation to bash his face into the bar. Maybe he’ll listen to the next girl and keep his hands to himself. Maybe if he apologizes, and means it, I’ll heal his pretty boy face.” It was out of character for you to lay hands on someone like that, but you couldn’t help but think of him doing this to some other poor girl who couldn’t stop him. He needed to be taught a lesson.

“That’s my girl!” Bucky laughed. The douchebag had it coming in his opinion. He was proud of you for sticking up for yourself.

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. He couldn’t reprimand your for defending yourself . “I’ll have a talk with him.” You raised both of your eyebrows at Bucky in surprise. It didn’t matter what you did or the reasoning, Steve was usually pissed at you. He took the shot from in front of you and dumped it down the sink. Your jaw dropped and you glared at him.

“Hey!” You protested. It was Steve’s turn to roll his eyes.

“It’s 6am- you’re not having vodka.” You threw your hands up.

“What are you my dad? I’m on vacation.” You tried to reason, tone laced with sass, arms crossed in front of you. It was sometimes hard for Steve to believe you weren’t somehow related to Tony Stark.

“About that. I have a mission in South America and you need to come with me.” As much as your attitude pissed Steve off, you were a good teammate and excellent at what you did. You deserved some time to yourself, but he needed your skill set.

“What? No! C’mon! you promised me 7 full days off Freeze Pop.” Steve rolled his jaw at the nickname silently cursing Tony. His frustration with you was building up again. Why couldn’t you just do as you were asked, just once, without arguing.

“You speak Spanish fluently and I need a female agent with me.”

“So does Natasha. Last I checked she was also a female. Take her. I’m not really interested in pretending to be your significant other.” You knew the mission that he was referring to. The target was in vacation with his wife at some resort. The plan has been for a pair to pose as a couple on their honey moon to gain access to the resort and get closer and obtain as much intel as possible.

“It’s a recon mission. We only have one working appearance enhancer so I won’t be recognized. Nat is too recognizable. Plus you also have an uncanny ability to sense when someone is lying.”

“Natasha is an ex super spy. She would figure it out!” You knew you were fighting a loosing battle. Steve didn’t know why you really had asked for the time off, and you weren’t about to share your deepest secrets with him.

“Look, Nat is with Clint and his family for the weekend. I’m not asking her to come back.” Steve was fighting the urge to yell at you. He just wanted you to be compliant, just this one time. The idea of being close to you and alone with you had him unnerved.

“Of course. We wouldn’t want to ruin HER time off. This is bullshit!” Your voice dripped with sarcasm. You knew you were acting like a brat. You wouldn’t ask Natasha to come back. You were hoping to get him to push the mission back. Bucky’s head bounced back and forth between the two of you. He watched as Steve’s jaw clenched one more time and the little vein in his forehead pop. You were one of the few that brought this side of him out. He had infinite patience for anyone but you.

“ENOUGH!l He finally snapped. “Agent Romanoff has more than paid her dues! She’s been at it for years! I’m not going to drag her back from time with what she considers her family so you can go on a bender.” You took a few steps back and recoiled. Steve immediately regretted it. “Camille...”

“No it’s fine Captain. I get it. My need for a break is less important because what? I’ve been fighting with you for less time? I haven’t paid enough dues for you yet? Got it. Let me go get some sleep so I’ll be refreshed enough to serve you. Send me the itinerary so I’m ready when wheels go up. I’m a B-Team Avenger. No one knows who I am so for once in your eyes it makes me an asset.” You turned quicker not wanting him to see how upset you were. He wouldn’t understand why you were so upset. You thought it better he see you as a selfish brat than a broken woman.

“Cam...” Bucky’s voice trailed and you avoided his grasp.

“It’s fine Buck.” You quickly retreated. You’d be damned if you let Steve have the satisfaction of making you cry. If he knew the real reason you were brought to tears he wouldn’t revel in it. To Steve Rogers you were young, bratty and had a problem with authority. You’d like to keep it that way. It protected you.

Bucky gave Steve a dirty look and threw his hands up. “I didn’t mean it like that. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.” Steve deflated. “She’s just so infuriating. It’s not like she can’t have her time off after we get back.” Your reaction didn’t sit right with Steve. You gave him a hard time, all the time, that was true. But you never argued about a mission.

“You know...if you dealt with your feelings, you might be able to keep it together with her." Bucky shook his head and started retreating from the kitchen. Steve cared about you, anyone that knew you could see you were funny, smart, caring and willing to put yourself on the line for anyone else. But you were afraid of letting too many people get close to you. Bucky knew you were afraid to really care about someone and lose them like you did your family. He knew you felt something for Steve Rogers too. So you kept him at arms length with attitude that drove Steve up the wall.

"Feelings? I have no feelings." Steve's face clouded with confusion. Bucky dramatically rolled his eyes. Apparently everyone was spending too much time with Tony. He turned and headed to follow you. “I thought we were training?” Steve called after Bucky.

"I'm going to check on Cami and make sure she's alright.” Bucky pauses for a moment. “There’s a reason why she gets under your skin. Ponder that.” Steve groaned as he watched Bucky retreating down the hallway.

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ronaldmrashid · 6 years

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Financial Samurai Mid-Year 2018 Investment Review And Outlook

After the 10% 1Q correction, I did a lot of reflecting and decided that I had too much risk exposure. As a result, I decided to move from roughly a 70/30 stock/bond weighting down to a 55/45 stock/bond weighting by selling stocks when the market clawed back to even and buying a slug of bonds after the 10-year yield breached 3%.

Overall, my public investment portfolio is up 4.7% vs. +1.5% for the S&P 500. My portfolio was largely helped by positions in Netflix (+80%), Amazon (+78%), Google (+20%), Omega Healthcare (+15%), and Facebook (+9%), and hurt by a couple individual California municipal bonds bought in 2017 (-4%, -6.1%). The muni bonds will eventually pay par value (0%), but in the meantime, they are underperforming.

Bonds (45% of portfolio)

I wrote in my 2018 outlook post that I thought 3% would be the cap on the 10-year yield in 2018, despite an estimated four additional Fed Funds rate hikes for the year. Therefore, when the 10-year yield broke 3% on 5/15/2018, I backed up the truck and bought a couple bond ETFs between 5/15/2018 – 5/17/2018.

Here’s a snapshot of about $360,000 worth of bond ETF purchases in one after-tax investment account. The right column is the cash balance. I bought more California muni bonds in my other after-tax account. The right column is the cash balance in one account after selling stock when the S&P 500 rebounded.

I believe we’ve seen the top for the 10-year bond yield this year. By the time the Fed raises rates two more times, the yield curve will be flat-to-inverted, portending to a recession. As the fear of a recession grows, there should be a steady demand for treasury bonds, which will keep a lid on yields.

With the overall portfolio up 4.7% for the year, I’m tempted to go 100% treasury bonds if the 10-year yield gets back up to 3.1% to lock in a conceivable 6% – 7% total return for the year. Alas, my greed for higher returns keeps me invested in stocks.

Stocks (55% of portfolio)

The only portfolio I’m trying to get right is my “house sale proceeds” portfolio. Making money with the house had been so easy since 2012, that I didn’t want to mess up the proceeds. I’ve more or less left my other portfolios alone because I’m comfortable with their respective asset allocations.

According to my weekly performance e-mail I get from Personal Capital, my You Index for July 1, 2018 says I’m up 5.89% YTD. The You Index is the performance of all of your current stock, cash, ETF, and mutual fund holdings. It does not include your individual bonds, options, or other alternatives, hence why it’s higher than my +4.7% overall performance.

Originally, I thought I’d be OK investing most of my house sale proceeds in risk assets because I had already de-risked by $815,000 by paying off the mortgage, but I was wrong about the stock portion. Losing $50,000 at one point in February in stocks made me uncomfortable.

After selling some core S&P 500 holdings in the first half of March when the S&P 500 recovered 65% of its loss, I began repurchasing stock in early April and the end of June to get my stock portfolio weighting up to ~55%. The second half of June was weak in the stock market, so I decided to rebuild my position.

Here’s a snapshot of buying roughly $100,000 worth of core index ETFs during the June sell-off, including $15,404.95 of Netflix after its 6% sell-off. My general policy for over a decade has been to purchase between 10% – 20% of my investable assets in single stock names. I’ll write more about this strategy in the future because it has made all the difference.

Currently, I’ve got roughly $55,000 cash left to deploy in my “house proceeds portfolio” before having to transfer new cash from my savings account if so desired. There are a lot of moving parts to my investments to keep track of, which is why I’ve been toying with hiring a financial advisor to manage everything. But by continuing to outperform so far, I’m probably just going to suck it up and continue managing everything myself.

My #1 goal is to not sell anything in my house proceeds portfolio for the remainder of the year, and only contribute when there is further weakness in either the stock or bond market. I think I’ve finally constructed a portfolio that matches my risk tolerance, but we shall see how the portfolio holds up when volatility strikes again.

Real Estate Crowdfunding

I had dinner with RealtyShares on June 27, 2018 to get an update about their latest operations. At the dinner were the Senior Director of Capital Markets, Director of Asset Management, and VP of Investor Sales and Client Success.

I was pleased to learn that RealtyShares has set up more Investment Committees to vet each deal before hitting their platform. In the past, there was just one large Investment Committee that looked at all deals to let 5% of them onto the platform. Now each deal must be approved by multiple Investment Committees. Further, management has aligned Investment Committee compensation with the performance of each deal they approve. Hence, if a deal performs poorly, Investment Committee members who voted for the deal will get dinged.

With more eyeballs looking at each deal, the end result should be better deals for investors. Of course there are no return guarantees, but as an investor, it is reassuring to know that even before I do any due diligence on a project I like, RealtyShares has already done more due diligence than ever before.

The equity fund I’m in closed two more deals in 1H for a total of 17 deals. One of the deals was an office building in Minneapolis, Minnesota with a 5-year target hold and a target 15.3% IRR.

The other deal was a student housing complex in Toledo, Ohio with a 24-month target hold and an 18.4% target IRR. Both deals look fine to me because I’m looking for any real estate exposure outside of the San Francisco Bay Area where I still own two properties and one property in Lake Tahoe.

In the beginning of June, I received a surprise $5,855 dividend payment. It’s nice to have, but I’ve reached my limit for the amount of capital gains and ordinary income I want to receive in 2018. As an S-Corp owner, you have some flexibility in how much you can pay yourself between salary and distributions to manage your tax liability.

Based on my dinner conversation with the folks at RealtyShares, the fund is on pace to reach its target IRR of 15% over five years, but I’m not holding my breath. If I can get an 8% IRR, I’ll be ecstatic. For those of you looking to invest in a fund as well, you might get a chance in 2H2018. I’ll be sure to keep you updated.

Surprise $5,855 dividend payment in June given all deals are equity

Other Investments

Venture Debt – I had a capital call for $30,000 from my second venture debt fund investment. The fund has investments in an online beauty company, three hardware device companies, a semiconductor company, and a couple software companies. I have zero insight into these companies, and they all seem pretty random to me, but I trust the fund managers know what they are doing. One of the co-founders is a Berkeley business school classmate I’ve known since 2003.

Financial Samurai – I had two inquiries about selling Financial Samurai. One inquiry was from an individual who had no idea what he was talking about. But the second inquiry was from a boutique investment bank representing a publicly listed company out of Europe. It’s nice to feel wanted, but I don’t plan to entertain offers until after July 2019 because I promised myself I’d own and operate Financial Samurai for 10 years. In a low-interest rate environment, you want to be buying strong cash flow assets, not selling. Further, this site is fun and easy to operate. I’d love to use it as a business and communications teaching platform for my son.

Physical Real Estate – I’ve been eyeing some beach homes on Oahu and they are all coming down in price. The weakness sets up nicely for when we plan to move to Honolulu before my son starts kindergarten in 2022-2023. I’m also noticing some random opportunities in SF as well. For example, the house I put a low ball offer for in May is still on the market. Summer is one of the best seasons to hunt for relative bargains.

Tennis in the morning, beach with the family in the afternoon, blogging in the evening sounds good.

Net Worth +6.7% But Stalling

Despite strong corporate earnings growth, it feels like we’re going to be stuck in a +/- 5% range for the S&P 500 and a 2.75% – 3.11% range for the 10-year bond yield. If the Fed really does raise the Fed Funds rate two more times by the end of the year, I’d be looking to buy more defensive assets to prepare for weakness ahead.

I like my relatively defensive 55/45 portfolio + real estate crowdfunding exposure away from expensive coastal cities. The inland empire has more room to run, but even it will eventually face headwinds, hence my 8% return expectation versus 15% target. I’ve also still got about 10% of my liquid net worth in cash.

If someone gave me a chance to lock in a 8% overall public investment return for the year, I’d take it. For a blue sky scenario, we could see bonds stay flat with the S&P 500 rallying by 10% by year-end, but I doubt it. There are just so many headwinds.

1H2018 net worth growth, the kinks are due to trade delay recognitions

Overall, my net worth has grown by 6.7% YTD according to my Personal Capital dashboard. This is because savings tacked on about 2%. I’ve left my private investments and real estate values the same, which could provide some upside surprise.

Remember to always establish some goals for your investments. If you do, you’ll be much more focused on getting your investments right.

My main goal for my house proceeds portfolio is to have enough money to buy a beach home in Hawaii. If I can grow the portfolio by 5% a year for the next 3-4 years while the Hawaiian housing market continues to soften, dreams will come true.

How are you positioning your investments for 2H2018? How have you done so far? What are you investing for?

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