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#I might put this on youtube too bc it took me a LONG ass time to make
come-on-shitty-boys · 3 years
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//fatherhood headcannons//
Characters: Kuroo Tetsurou / Bokuto Koutarou / Daishou Suguru
Warnings: none 
Word Count: 1.7K (~550 a piece)
Notes: don’t come for me and my self-indulgence. Also >:C if you’re of age and living in the United States, go fucking vote.  i am not asking. 
Kuroo Tetsurou
He goes into this whole fatherhood thing with complete and utter confidence.  Kuroo Tetsurou is convinced that he doesn’t need to have a single parenting book.  How hard can it be?
It’s all just making sure his kid doesn’t die, right? R I G H T?
He tries really hard to understand all of your discomforts during the pregnancy, but wowowow he’s bad at it.  You were complaining that your feet were sore and he just looked at you weird.  You had just gotten out of bed?  How did your feet already hurt?  Your back hurts? How? You’re laying down?
He recognizes that you’re in discomfort and he, of course, doesn’t look past that.  He’s going to do whatever he needs to do to ensure your comfort, but he just struggles to comprehend it.
I promise that Kuroo was so calm and cool and collected throughout the entire pregnancy and honestly, even during delivery, he was there to tell you how great you were doing, holding your hand, letting you crush his fingers in your tight grip.  He would pat your head and occasionally give you little kisses on your temple.
But when the nurse asks if he wants to hold his new little girl and places her in his arms, oh he’s crying.  He doesn’t even realize that he’s crying until he feels the tears stream down his cheeks.
It was in the following weeks that he realized just how hard this whole parenting thing would be.  Sleep?  Kuroo didn’t know her.  The baby religiously started crying every night at 2:27 a.m. and it would take nearly an hour to get her to fall back asleep.  By the time that hour passed, he was already back to being wide awake and would just lay in bed, unable to fall back asleep for hours.  
The first time he ever had to change a diaper, he had to pull up a YouTube video to figure it out, but he’s not about to tell you that.  
He has no idea how to dad, but Kuroo ends up being a really incredible father.  While he may be lacking in the basic skills like knowing the correct formula temperature or how to properly hold his daughter, he makes up for it with his constant companionship.  
You’ve walked in on him in the nursery so many times.  He’s really not even doing anything.  He’s just leaning against the crib, running his fingers across his little girl’s skin, still not believing that this is real and that that little baby is his, something that he helped create.  Oh, it just makes him so soft to think about.   He talks real quietly to her, telling her about his day, like she has any idea what he’s saying, but he still smiles so wide when she looks at him.
His little girl is his entire world and I just know that he’s an incredibly protective father.  He knows that the world is a scary place and he wants his daughter to be able to grow up having the best life possible, even if it is difficult.
Bokuto Koutarou
It was an accident.  It was 100% an accident.  But, the absolute joy that lit up his features when you told him your happy news, well, you don’t think you had ever seen him smile so wide.  He had picked you up to spin you around and covered your face in kisses.  Bokuto had set you down and immediately squatted down to place a kiss on your non-existent baby bump, telling his little baby how excited he was to be their papa.
Bokuto does prepare, well, at least a little. He owns one book, but he has read it cover to cover.  When he was reading through it, he would stop at something that he found particularly interesting and show it to you.
He didn’t really know how best to take care of you, but he tried his best!  He would rub your shoulders or feet when you asked.  He would make dinner after practice.  He is absolutely running to the store in the middle of the night because you had a sudden craving for Cheetos and vanilla ice cream.  Bokuto thought it was best not to ask what the hell you were doing when you proceeded to dip the Cheetos in the ice cream.
Bokuto forces you on walks.  He read in that one pregnancy book that walks can help induce labor, so in the time leading up to the due date, Bokuto was taking you on strolls around the block multiple times a day.  
But, he gets really busy with MSBY ;-; like. . . a lot.  He wants to be there every step of the way, but he just can’t.  Even after the baby was born, it seemed like there was rarely a day off for him to just spend with you and the baby.
Nothing hurt more than seeing the video of his little boy taking his first steps, knowing that he wasn’t even there to see it for himself because he was stuck on a bus in another city for a game.
This boy B R A G S about his kid all the time.  Sakusa might just beat his ass if he has to hear Bokuto coo about his son one more time.  
Games that happen at home are Bokuto’s favorites because he knows that whenever he looks up into the stands, you’ll be there, the baby in your arms, a tiny black knit hat with gold detailing pulled over his head.  It always made his heart so warm and he seemed to always be on top of his game just so he could secure a win quicker.  He just wanted to rush to you and cradle his little one in his arms.
He likes to toss his little bean up into the air, but he has absolutely bonked his son’s head on the ceiling and then proceeded to fail to catch him because he was so in shock that he just hit his son’s head on the ceiling.  Insert one (1) bokuto koutarou suddenly regretting every life decision that he has ever made.  
Surprisingly, he’s a really good parent?  He understands the balance between being caring and supportive, but also having a firm hand on discipline.  He isn’t much for punishments, because he’s going to feel bad, but he won’t hesitate to sit his son down and have a talk if he needs to.  
God Bokuto is such a good dad please i’m so soft i just know that he would sob his eyes out the minute the baby is on its way
Daishou Suguru
please i don’t even want children, but i would make an exception for daishou suguru
Suguru is so?? stupidly?? prepared?? 
Like the two of you decided that you wanted to have a baby and this man went to the bookstore and asked one of the workers which pregnancy books were the best.  The poor high school student had no idea
He took notes and was just constantly studying up on things.  You’d think he was back in university again with how much he poured himself over these books.  
While Daishou may have all of the technical stuff down like knowing the exact female reproductive anatomy and how it all works to produce the baby and he can definitely change a diaper with his eyes closed by now, but-
When the time came to put together a nursery- oh the boy was lost.  He had no idea what to do.  He’d never built a crib before.  He wasn’t really sure why he was expecting it to just unfold or magically form together when he took it out of the box, but now he was just sitting in the middle of the floor, surrounded by bits and pieces of a baby crib, pouring over the instructions, only to get more confused.
Please go sit with him in his time of need.  He’ll rest his head on your shoulder and rub tiny circles over your bump.  
Suguru probably jumped a foot in the air when he felt that itty bitty kick against his hand.  It took him by complete surprise and his eyes were as wide as saucers, but this really slow smile took over his face and you don’t think you had ever seen him so happy, a complete smiling and laughing mess.
He takes the best care of you b y e 
Morning sickness?  He’s right there to pull your hair away from your face and get you a glass of water.  
Too bad he spent all this time looking up information on the actual pregnancy and had no idea what to expect for actual childbirth.  Overnight bag?  He said, “How long does this take?”  He had no idea what to do during delivery.  His dumbass just stood there until you demanded that he give you his hand and definitely screamed when you nearly crushed his bones in an absolute death grip, nails digging painfully into the back of his hand, but who was he to object.  He wasn’t the one pushing a child out of his body.
Oh, did I say child?  Try children.  Suguru nearly fainted when the nurse said that there was “one more.”  He didn’t remember seeing a second little peanut on the ultrasound, but maybe he just forgot in the overwhelming panic of the moment?
He was so good all throughout the pregnancy, but the minute the kids are born?  It’s like he completely forgot everything that he read over the past nine months, but the softness in his eyes and the gentle smile on his lips the very first time he got to hold his kid?  It made it all worth it.  He didn’t know that it was possible to love someone so quickly, but he looked at the faces of his newborn children and he couldn’t have been happier.
Daishou has fallen asleep in the nursery chair more than once when he was up with the babies.  You’d get up to see what was taking so long, only to find him leaned back, his head lolled to the side, two tiny bundles held securely to his chest.
In conclusion.  I love daishou suguru and he would be a really good dad once he figured it all out
{Taglist: @moncymonce​ @nicka-nell​ @celosiiaa​ @kuronekomama​ @lovinnoya​ and @nekxrizawa​ @boosyboo9206​ bc you both got me thinking about them as d a d s and now i can’t get it out of my head onyx please take this as a bribe to receive the daishou suguru hip dermal edit you made i need it}
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scandeniall · 4 years
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actually, i’m dating iwa
iwazumi x reader, but mostly (?) platonic!Oikawa x reader
i just really love college au’s and tried to combine with youtuber!au. Also this is my first time writing for a character other than Kuroo and my 3rd time ever writing hq so yeah this probably fucking sucks
-----.
“Filming a video with the bestie. Send us questions,” you put up a peace sign not even looking up from your phone as oikawa flashed his camera at you for his Instagram story. You’d done a similar post hours ago for your own followers supposed to have filmed hours ago. A head plopping itself caused you to quickly finish your text before tossing your phone on the table in front of you. “Ugh where’s Iwa with the pizza. I’m starving,” the brunette groaned from beside you after you tried pushing his head off of you to which he just continued to put more of his weight on you. “Move your big ass head Oikawa,” you cried out still trying to push the man child off of you. “No because you never spend time with me anymore now that you’re-“ he dramatically huffed “Dude I’m literally with you everyday” It was true. The two of you had been practically inseparable for the past few years. Meeting at summer orientation right before both your first year of college, he noticed you doing the same thing he was. Vlogging, and thus the start of a beautiful friendship. Now in your last year you two have practically grown your social media together, collaborating with him more than you had anyone else (same for him). Hell, you two even lived together for a year before you decided you couldn’t take anymore of the asshole both never cooking and using up all the hot water with his long ass showers. “First of all it’s more like every other day. Second of all where is your stupid boyfriend? The sun is gonna go down before he gets back here. You know i hate filming with ring lights” 
You couldn’t help but laugh at him referring to his best friend as “your stupid boyfriend,” knowing if Iwa heard that Oikawa would be the first one to start running to avoid a hit. The two of you had met through Oikawa. It was midway through freshman year, Oikawa had invited you to his dorm for a study session for the gen ed class you two shared. He failed to mention that his roommate was there taking a nap, and that your loud ass drum beat knocking woke him up. You were absolutely mortified and continued to apologize, literally wanting to kill Oikawa. That was one thing you two had in common and that night not only did he have a grouchy sleep deprived roommate, but an annoyed you to deal with as well. You heard a slight struggle at the door before raining your neck to see that Iwaizumi had managed to make it in, holding pizza and other bags. “Go help Iwa put the stuff down,” you scolded your friend as he watched with amusement as the man struggled balancing the pizza boxes with one hand and the plastic store bags with the other. Once seeing Oikawa just shrug and rest back against the couch saying something about ‘being too hungry to move, before picking up his phone and typing away’ You huffed and got up yourself. Your boyfriend shot you a grateful smile as you took the pizza from him so that he was able to place the bags down safely. “Hey Haji- what's all this. Thought you were going to get pizza,” you said softly leaning against the counter as he began to empty bags. “Just a few snacks for you guys. Thought you two could make the video a mukbang. Although I’m not sure why I did, considering Shittykawa is here to eat some.” Your heart swelled as you both ignored your whiny friend across the room. You just wanted to hug your boyfriend and so you did. Before you could place your lips against his, said whiny friend had gotten his ass off the couch. “Can you two not fuck on my kitchen counter,” as he maneuvered around the tiny kitchen to start getting his food together. “Pretty sure I live here too,” your boyfriend scowled pressing a quick kiss to your temple before letting go of your waist and going to set up the camera for yours and Oikawa’s video. “Also, who’s to say we haven’t already,” you decided to tease, pushing past Oikawa lightly bumping into him. “Remind me to bleach every surface in here later on. Nasty bitches,” “Love you too Tōru” “How is it not living together anymore?” you read out. Already smiling at a chance to drag oikawa. “Fucking amazing! I get to come home to my food not eaten and I actually can get hot water when I’m trying to shower. I-“ “Oh you actually shower? Could’ve fooled me,” “Says the man who always used my expensive body wash,” you retort back looking off camera to pout at Iwaizumi laughing at the two of you. To the camera it would just look like you were refusing to look at Oikawa, not making puppy-dog eyes at your boyfriend. “Yeah because you don’t. Stinky” --- “What’s your favorite thing to do together? “Nothing because I hate this bitch-“ you deadpanned. The room going quiet before you, Oikawa and off camera Iwaizumi started laughing. “I’m kidding I promise. But I’m gonna let Oikawa answer this because he definitely knows what I’d say.” “It’s because we’re the same person. Twin-telepathy. But I’d have to say our monthly road trips with Kuroo and Bokuto. It’s the best time to unwind with my best friends and it’s always fun finding new places and we love taking you guys along with us. Special shoutout to the man, Iwa who gets all of the b-roll and actually records the chaos. Iwa! Speaking of him- he’s actually home for once and is watching us film. Aren’t we pretty,” you watched your best friend recount laughing when Iwaizumi says loud enough for the camera to hear that he isn’t. “Come say hi to the video,” Oikawa begged, deciding to record Iwaizumi on his phone to insert in later. “Oi! Get that camera off of me Shittykawa”
----
“Alright guys. We’re gonna do one last question. Tōru, take it away,” you smirked already knowing the question he was gonna pick. “Are you and (Y/N) dating?,” Oikawa read out, picking up his bottle of beer to take a swig while looking at you with a teasing smile on his lips. “Whew that’s an interesting question.   You wanna take that one (Y/N)?” For years the two of you never answered that question. At one point it was genuinely because you two had a crush on one another and while you never became more than just friends, there had been a thing there. After that passed you two just always played off one another for videos, knowing people loved it. Once you and Iwaizumi started dating the more flirty actions had stopped, but that still never stopped people from assuming. You two were almost always with one another, after all. You had been sharing relationship memes on twitter and even let it slip once that you had a boyfriend on Snapchat(although the audio was a little hard to hear as you’d said something like “i can’t find my boyfriend,” in a loud bar. And, to top it off you had recently posted a video of you getting ready for a date night. To anyone that kept up with you all the signs pointed to oikawa However, no one ever paid attention to how in the background of Kuroo’s vlogs how you and Iwaizumi always walked a little slower behind everyone else. No one thought anything during the last vlog with Bokuto when he captured you and Iwaizumi in the middle of the freezer aisle joking about which ice cream was best for root beer floats. Or how you and Iwaizumi would always be standing closer than you should in Oikawa's bar night videos. Of course Iwa’s hand resting on your lower back, occasionally slipping lower had never been caught on grainy phone cameras. “Well,” you took a deep breath. The three of you knew you were going to announce your relationship today but for some reason you were still nervous. Your relationship was one of the only things about your life you didn’t plaster on the internet. Iwa was definitely not one to be all on the internet, despite all of his friends being on there in the open. Not only that, but you were concerned about comments saying you’d been using Oikawa for views or leading him on or any of the crazy shit people come up with. You were pulled out of your thoughts when Oikawa lightly punched your arm offering you a comforting smile. “First of all, no. We aren’t dating-“ you started off. “Don’t forget to add it that you had a crush on me a few years ago” “It was mutual you dumbass,” you huffed. Loosening up. Knowing this half of the video was going on your channel you spoke up again. “As I said. Me and this dumbass are not dating. We’re-“ you pretending to gag, “genuinely best friends.  The love I have for Tōru is absolutely not romantic. However I am in a relationship and you can say that I met him through the idiot next to me.” “Babe you wanna come over here and officially be introduced as my boyfriend to the internet,” you called out. Oikawa mocking you “Yeah babe. Come in for a second.” Before you could even retort you notice your boyfriend signal to you and ducked as you saw a couch pillow fly towards the side of Oikawa’s head. “OW! Iwa that hurt. And stop laughing at my pain (Y/N),” Oikawa cried out. Ignoring your friend you looked up to Iwaizumi leaning over the edge of the couch in the camera's frame, lips hovering next to your ear. “You did it. Now people can stop shipping you with him.” Iwaizumi places two kisses on you for the camera. One on your cheek, the other on the side of your neck before looking up. “Hey,” and with that he was up and out of frame. “You guys see how he didn’t even acknowledge me. Just (Y/N). So rude” “Shut up Oikawa,” you and Iwaizumi said at the same time. Right before the camera cut off i stopped here bc idk what i was even doing because this turned out nothing like my initial idea. idk request if you want and i might give it a try. Also adding pt 3 to college!kuroo soon. 
will be cross-posted on ao3
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shatterthefragments · 3 years
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Questions Tag Game
Thank you for tagging me @catholicnicky!
Hmm I'm supposed to tag 20 but I'll tag:
@kiaya, @caffeinatedbraincell, @randofando-spoonie, @cowgaykermit, @boutiquetraveltravelboutique @rhubarbdreams
If you want to play :)
1. Name/Nickname: Shatters <3
2. Gender: *shrugs noncommitedly*/nonbinary fits best
3. Star sign: okay so I took a thing and I'm going to assume that "Sun in Pisces" is this? bc i have no clue any time i look at that :eek:
4. Height: it is to my delight that I can definitely say 5'3" and not actually 5'2"! Bc I'm only a couple inches shorter than a friend and that would mean I'm taller than 5'2"!
5. Time: at the time of this Q: 12:20... ah I should get ready for bed soon... (longer by the time I post this at a little past 1 am)
6. Birthday: Feb. 26
7. Favourite Band: Currently? Maybe Polyphia? Most played currently at least. I've been vibing with Nothing But Thieves, Daughtry (again), 3OH!3 (i know), Florence + The Machine (though I have yet to do a discography playthrough yet), (ok so I'm scrolling through my saved artists for this one), The Neighbourhood, some local bands, and The Pretty Reckless lately.
8. Favourite solo artist: oh dear god. Um. Loving and/or getting back into: Rina Sawayama, Toby Fox, Ichika Nito, Tim Henson, Lil Nas X, King Princess, Hayley Kiyoko? idk it could be a lot more. But for Reasons it currently has to be Lil Nas X <3
9. song stuck in my head: because I caved and got TikTok (derogatory) because of the Chocolate Potato Cake (from 1912!) [and if you didn't just hear that in Dylan's voice you should find it on Youtube it's great] it's Maneskin's Beggin. When that's not recently heard, it varies between many other songs. If I whistle, it's usually a simple march we played in band. Maybe Soda. Maybe the hook from The Worst. Who knows~ not me!
10. last movie: either Waves or Wolf it's been so long since I've watched something. But soon hopefully Hartenstraat!
11. last show: Leverage! When I rewatched it last year or something!
12. when I created this blog: perhaps 2012 or 2013? I deleted most of my blog and started over though at around 15k posts so it may have been before that? But I don't think it was much before 2012 if so.
13. what I post: please tell me fuck if i know aaaaah whatever I see when I pop on when I have the capacity to actually reblog or queue it i guess? mostly related to whatver i'm fixated on <3 (speaking of - draining my queue for the tumblr post+ strike so that'll suck to get filled again afterwards :P)
14. last thing I googled: "Sugar and spice makes everything nice quote"
15. other blogs: theoldguardinshatters is my tog sideblog! I have some other... rather inactive blogs... not really sure I want to share them. Some are straight up empty.
16. do i get asks? not often
17. why I chose my URL: I'm a poet! jk jk (or am I?) but I wrote a poem back in middle school... actually a few versions based off the same premise/line (i was going to see if I could find it but looking back That Far in my blog is like "yeah, there's no way I'm faking my mental illness even when I fear I might be" so I'm just. not. going there. like holy shit maybe i should purge my old posts again...) But if I remember maybe I'll put what I can remember under a cut?
18. following: after swearing I'd never follow more than 100: 304. But many aren't active anymore :( (also literally me 5 yrs ago: 'oh god I follow more than 30 people I'm freaking out, it's too many!')
19. followers: 234, but who knows how many are porn bots I never really kept up back in the day
20. average hours of sleep: ...that is a good question... idk. maybe 5ish when I work and maybe 9ish when I am just me on my own?
21. lucky number: culturally: 8, personally, also: 3,7,13,17,19,23
22. instruments: formerly flute and tenor sax. I haven't exactly kept up oops >.< (so i guess rn I just whistle or hum or sometimes sing)
23. what am I wearing: shorts and a t-shirt
24. dream job: bookbinder, or some other creative pursuit that allows me to work with my hands - cake decorator? other arts? idk. maybe secretary? maybe fancy ass barista/pastry decorator? editor? illustrator? i have no clue please send suggestions <3
25. dream trip: with friends. Not having to drive the entire time. Longer than what I'm currently able to do... maybe a couple months... maybe in europe or asia? maybe just road tripping across canada. idk. It sure would be nice to see them again <3 hopefully camping with one (maybe two?) mid august-ish though! :D
26. favourite food: dim sum (bc I really miss going out with family!), sushi, desserts, pies, quiche, eggs benny, Popcorn, I'm not sure. those are also safe foods texturally usually too though.
27. nationality: canadian, half chinese.
28. favourite song: *shrugs* right now perhaps Soda or The Worst
29. last book I read: ...i don't know... maybe a reread I did of What They Always Tell Us or Martin Wilson's other book We Now Return To Regular Life last year?
30. top 3 fictional universes I would like to live in: ...fuck. I don't know. Most of the fantasy universes I read are fanfic... Maybe.... Waves Cinematic Universe - now that Gabriele has a boat, we could boat! Some universe with wings! A universe with UBI *sideeyes gvmt* Stardew Valley universe! :D
from what I can remember maybe (again - Several Versions of this were written... back in middle school...)
Shatter the fragments to see what's left Release the weight That's on your chest
There's nothing left For you to see Nothing left But apathy
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smellysluna · 4 years
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The one where Luka is a clown | Fictober19 #1
Prompt number: 「 one 」“It will be fun, trust me.”
Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug
Pairing: Luka Couffaine & [YOU]
Rating: T (Teens And Up)
Warnings/Tags: none
Summary: you’ve always had a crush on him bcs he simply was your type but nothing really happened unitl You & Luka get set up as project mates
Side note: I know that it’s the twelth of october but i just started it, i’ll write some more for fictober but i’ll use the prompts as i see fit bcs i’m just like that so yeah. anyways i hope this makes some kind of sense, its been a long time since i finished something i began writing. okay so i also wanted to write luka because there’s not many fics with him with an “x reader” tag. okay talk over, enjoy the story babes!!!!
"Hey."
I turned around in my seat and smiled. "Hi, Luka."
"So... how'd you wanna do this?"
I cocked an eyebrow. "Do what?" Luka shared an amused smile. "Oh!" I face-palm. "The project! Right." I picked up the notebook with my notes from my desk and slammed it on his desk. Then I rotated it in his direction. "This is how we're going to do it."
"Wow, you've really thought this through already."
I rest my face on my hand and smirk. "It's no coincidence that I ace my presentations."
"I guess I'm lucky then."
"More than you think." I straighten my back. "Okay, no funny business tho. You fuck up and I'll make you suffer all the way to June. Take a picture of them notes so you have a copy and have a slight idea of what's going on."
He puts up a half-amused smile, "this ain't my first rodeo."
"But it's your first bullfight, so keep up." He laughed and I bit my lip. I might've gone overboard. 
"I'll do my best," he assured in a soft voice. Holy shit. He's so mellow. As soon as I was sure he had a picture of my notes, I took his phone. I entered into his contacts and added my number then dialed myself. 
I show him the screen of my phone. "Now we have each other's numbers." He smiled before I turned around just in time for the teacher to get in. 
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
I was watching dessert recipes on YouTube when I received a message from Luka. The popup appeared from an Unknown number which reminded me that I forgot to add him to my contacts.
"hey"
     "hi"
    "what's up?"
"i went through ur notes"
    "yeah?"
    "they're amazing, aren't they"
"u made those in class"
"how???"
"they're too good"
You sent an image:
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Unknown sent an image:
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"anyhow"
"i wanted to know when you want to get the project finished"
"i thought that you'd want to finish it asap"
"u look like you have a busy schedule"
    "i'm free whenever, really"
    "but i don't want to finish it in one go"
    "so we'll spend a couple of days on it"
    "if u dont mind that is"
    "btw you give me too much credit"
"right"
"it's fine, yeah"
"more time to clown around"
Unknown sent an image:
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    "> AUDIO (laughter)"
    "IM DYING"
    "WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY"
"i took clown courses in my childhood"
    "where's the diploma huh?"
"wait, lemme look"
"wait"
    "ur serious???"
"photo(clown certificate)"
    "I CAN'T BREATHE"
"clown code: never joke about being a clown"
    "AND HERE I WAS"
    "THINKING YOU WERE THE COOLEST GUY AT SCHOOL"
    "BUT ALL THIS TIME YOU WERE JUST A CLOWN"
    "I WAS SO FOOLISH"
    "ur now officially added to my contacts as clown boy 🤡"
"coolest guy huh? ;)"
    "don't let it get to your head, clown boy"
    "as much as i'd love to know about your clown career, i have to go make dinner"
    "we'll talk more about it at school"
    "don't vanish on me"
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    "i'll snap my fingers into Thanos' ass if i have to"
"right 😂"
At dinner, I couldn't stop thinking about Luka. We might've never talked much to each other but I always had the hots for him. He was just my type: tall, supposedly long hair for a boy, dyed hair, punk-like feel and especially (these just get me going) those black gauges in his ears. Anyways, I'd lie if I said I never got distracted in class because of the smell of his cologne.
"Thank you for dinner, [Y/N]," said my mom after she cleaned the table.
"Don't forget to do the dishes, love."
"Yes, Dad," I chuckled.
"We're off to bed, then. Goodnight, [Y/N]."
"Goodnight, mum. Goodnight, dad."
That night, I fell asleep thinking about how nice that chat conversation with Luka was.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
I groaned loudly when I got into class. I ran because I was late for geography. When I got to class, the lack of a teacher at the desk made me want to kill myself. My classmates were scattered around the classroom in groups, as usual when a teacher was absent. Done with life, I walk to my desk, drop my backpack and accommodate my face on the desk. Suddenly, somebody is standing next to me. But I really just wanted some sleep so my first intention was to ignore whomever until well, it's self-explanatory.
"Looks like someone spent all night thinking about me."
"What!?" I see Luka. Now fully energized and heart pumping, I stutter: "No, no. What are you even saying?"
He laughs and takes a seat on the vacant spot in front of me. He rests his arms on my desk. "I'm just messing with you, wanted to see the reaction I'd get out of you. I wasn't expecting to fully wake you up." He smiles broadly and I stare into his eyes.
Have you ever met that person, no matter who they are, their eyes are so enthralling that you just can't help but keep staring at them? These kinds of eyes just have something... Something I'm unable to describe. And when I stare at them, they're so glossy and shiny.
"I think you'd look amazing if you wore eyeliner."
"Huh?" Half of his face moves upwards in sync. "That's very random."
"I mean, yeah." I look away, fidget with my bracelet and then look back. "I just thought it'd bring your eyes out even more."
"Ooh," he exhales knowingly. "Because they're blue, right?"
I knit my eyebrows together. "No," I say offended. Had this boy never realized how nice his eyes are?
"Why then?" He asks and nods his head onto his arms.
"Well," I lick my lips, "I don't know." I shrug "It's not because of the color, which is beautiful just so you know." I caress my arm and try very hard to maintain eye contact, occasionally looking away. "Your eyes, I don't know, they just have something."
He smiles at my words, "look who's talking."
"Not a clown, that's for sure." He groans in a boyish way and it melts my insides so warm I almost let it show.
"You won't let it go, won’t you?" He lays defeated on my desk, arms sprawled.
"You did that to yourself." He hummed in a way that seemed a mixture of displeasure and annoyance. His long hair was sprawled in every direction of my desk. I could tell that he washed his hair either last night or this morning —it smelled so nice. Luka smelled really nice and I couldn't help but bite my lip to restrain myself from sniffing him all over like I was some kind of dog-bred. I started playing with his hair and it was so much softer than I expected it to be, it was dyed after all. He let a pleasurable groan slip through.
"Does this bother you?"
Luka abruptly opened his eyes and forced my head to rest on the desk as well. With very soft caresses he ran his hand through my locks and I understood what it was that he intended.
"What about you?"
I stared into his eyes for a moment and closed them, then resumed playing with his hair as he did the same. We were so close, I could hear his silent breathes. I wondered if this could be considered as cuddling. Honestly? I didn't care because I was enjoying it.
"Hey, guys, look at [Y/N] and Luka."
"Woah, when did that happen."
"Never thought [Y/N] liked that type of guy."
"You're kidding, right? Luka's definitely her type."
We spent the rest of the hour like that. Somewhere in between, the rest of the class noticed us but, frankly, we paid them no mind. But it made me anxious. Not because of what they said but about what Luka might've thought about it.
"I kind of like this," he whimpers softly as if scared he'd break whatever we had going on.
I agree with him softly, just as scared to ruin the mood.
When the bell rang, we hesitantly broke apart. Luka returned to his assigned seat behind me and then class started. The moments the teacher repeated subjects the class already went through, Luka played with the ends of my hair.
After the school bell rang for the last time that day, Luka approached me. He asked if I wanted to start on the project today. Luka was so cute while he asked. He didn't do anything particularly cute but the way he looked when he leaned on the wall had sent me flying. Obviously, I said that it was a good idea. Not desperately, of course, even though I wanted to grab him and steal him away. I kept my cool.
"What time?"
He grimaced to hide a grin. "I was hoping, like, right now?"
"Uh, well... On any other particular month, I'd agree and take you to my house. But we're getting reformations done so it's a very big mess."
"We can go to my place." He states like it's a universal fact.
"But all my shit's at home, and I'd want to empty my backpack, grab some money, etcetera."
"Okay, I get it. I can take you home and we'll head right over to mine?"
Even though I might pass out any moment out of pure embarrassment, I cross my arms in an 'X' in front of his face.
"No way that's happening, clown boy."
"What? Why?" He frowns.
"No way in hell I'm letting you drive me on your motorbike."
A small laugh escapes his lips. "You've never been on a motorcycle?"
I act displeased.
Luka laughs with a hand on his stomach. "You haven't!" I scowl and his laughter subdues. He waves his hands in front of him and apologizes for laughing. "I'll be careful, just for you." He assures.
"Even if I agreed... I doubt you'd have a second helmet. And we all know that police officer which has an obsession for the law."
"I got us covered on that one, I have two."
I stare at him. "You had this all planned out, didn't you?"
"No," he grins, "it just happens to be that I usually pick my sister up from her school."
"Oh, so she's gonna have to walk all the way back to your house. We can't let her do that, can we?" No matter how much I crush on Luka, anything that can get me out of sitting on that devil's contraption, I'd go with.
"I said 'usually', didn't I?" I can feel his smirk soaking right through me but in a much more softer tone he said "it'll be fun," and smiles "trust me."
It was his goddamn smile that convinced me to agree.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
"I never knew you could live in a boat."
I looked around the main deck and, for some reason, I felt very lightweight and free.
"You don't like it?"
"The contrary, I love it!" I smile at him, "it adds to your charm."
Luka smiles back, "thanks."
Both of us walked inside the boat. I took everything all at once. You rarely get the chance to be inside a boat-home. But the most surprising thing was that it was stable —at least more than I thought.
"My room's the one at the end. Get yourself comfy —I'll be right there."
I bite the inside of my cheek. "Okay."
Once I get into his room, I relax and take a look around. I leave my backpack by the door and head straight for the most valuable thing to me in his room. Luka had one of the nicest guitar stands available on which laid the most basic electric guitar ever... but since looks can deceive, I pick it up.
I make myself comfortable on his bed along with Luka's guitar and a guitar pick I snatched from the wall. Without thinking twice, I started to play. It didn't matter to me that I hadn't plugged the guitar into an amplifier, this particular tab didn't need the magic of electricity. I suppose I should have asked first if I could play but it's too late now-
"That's 'Lonely Day', right?"
"Ah! Shit! Sorry!" I stood up hastily, the guitar pick went flying to the floor and I placed the guitar back where it was supposed to be. I turn to him to apologize, "I should've asked-."
Luka walks past me, grabs the guitar by its fretboard and puts the strap around himself. He shuffles around me and I was too confused to realize what he was doing. Then he hands me the guitar fully-tuned-connected-to-an-amplifier guitar. He lifts it by the fretboard again and hands it over to me as if telling me to take it. I stare into his eyes and do exactly that.
At that moment, we didn't need any words as I accepted his silent offer. I strum dumbly and then start fidgeting with the knobs on his amplifier. I bite my lip, it doesn't have as many options as mine and it's smaller than the one I have at home but I managed to get the right sound.
I started playing a song that I had played countless times and felt very confident. This moment was about impressing Luka and I was determined to blow him away. But the moment I started playing, I couldn't keep up the cool-girl act and grinned as I played around the room.
"Wow," he said amazed after I finished. "I never knew you played guitar, let alone that well."
"I'm amazing, I know," I wink.
"What did you play?"
"You don't recognize it!?" I gasp loudly. I put my hands over my heart. "Oh, my heart! It hurts! I have never been so hurt before!"
He holds back an embarrassed smile. "Guilty as charged."
"It's Crowd Chant, by Satriani," an exaggerated sad smile adorns my lips.
"Oh, right! The guy from 'Surfing with the Alien'!"
"Yes, that one! I love him, he's my idol!"
"He's good."
"Good? He's a GOD." I pout at him. "Your idol is Jagged Stone, that's why you have so little appreciation for him."
"Right."
I playfully punch him. "Just kidding."
"I thought I was supposed to be the clown around here."
I laugh very loud at that. "Yes! I will - haha - leave - ha - the rest to you."
During the week we were making the project we had gotten really close and we kept hanging out at each other's houses even when the project was long ago finished. I met his very cool mum, and his sister, who is physically exactly like him but both of them don't seem to admit it. And he met my small family too.
"I keep telling you! You do look alike! Genetics is no joke."
"I agree with [Y/N]!" Juleka's friend said one day over dinner. I can't remember what her name was but I always thought there was more than 'friends' between her and Juleka.
"We do not look alike; you both must be very blind," Luka jokes and I pinch him very hard. "Ow! Stop!" He pinches back.
"No! Luka! That was payback for yesterday!" He stuck his tongue out at me and I growl. "You're very mean."
He shrugs, "whatever you say, [Y/N]."
"Oh, 'whatever I say' it is, is it?" I crossed my arms and pondered without breaking my staring contest with Luka. "So if I said you're ugly, you'd agree?"
He smirked, "sure." I felt how triumph tasted and literally a second later I tasted defeat. "But it won't affect the fact that my eyes have 'something'."
I became a blushing mess and everyone at the table stared at us.
"So..." Juleka started, unsure. "Does that mean that [Y/N] confessed first?"
Juleka's blonde friend nodded, "I knew it!"
"I'm happy for the both of you," Mrs. Couffaine cheered with a very sweet smile.
There was a problem with their cheers which made Luka and me quite uncomfortable. It was wrong. Nothing had happened between us.
"It's...! It's not like that!" I attempt to defend ourselves and turn to Luka. "That's not what that was, right, Luka?"
He was looking in the opposite direction, scratching his crimson red neck. "I mean..."
I hide my face in my hands. "Oh my God, I want to kill myself."
"You know what? We will leave you both to work out whatever misunderstanding there might be, okay?" And with no answer, all three of them left.
"Let's go outside." With no warning, Luka took me by the hand and guided me to the main deck. It was chilly outside and I shivered but kept it to myself. "Here." Luka handed me his jacket.
"Thanks," I smile and put it on. It still smells like his cologne.
"About what Juleka said..." He avoided my gaze by looking into the river. "I might've told her that I like you," he turns to me and takes my hands, "a lot." Luka squeezes my hands out of nervousness. "The way you and I understand each other, without any words, just the music is enough. I feel like we're connected through it like we are the power-chords to any rock song."
My heart was melting, I always knew deep down that Luka's a very sweet romantic and he was killing me with his cuteness. I never knew you could look cute and hot during a confession. "Luka, I-"
"Remember when we sang 'Anything better than you'?"
"Yeah."
I recalled the memory. At the end of the song, when the part that goes "I can sing anything sweeter than you" our lips were so close... I couldn't stop thinking about it before I fell asleep every night.
"I wanted to kiss you so badly, but I just couldn't do it." Luka pulled me in and we were as close as that other time, my heart was beating so hard I could hear it in my ears. "Until now."
Luka kissed me and I kissed back. We kissed each other so desperately and I ran my hand through his hair. Fuck, how I loved the softness of his hair. We break apart for a kiss and stare at each other's eyes, dumbfounded. We kiss again except this time it wasn't as desperate. It was softer, a kiss only Luka could make amazing. Luka had thin lips but made up for it with the way he kissed. I wanted to kiss him more, I wanted more from Luka so I kissed him harsher. Then he broke apart the kiss, clearly taken aback from it.
My heart stopped, "I... I'm sorry-!" He cut me off by kissing me harsher than I did and I loved every second of his harshness. I began feeling his neck, his back, his chest and pushed myself closer to him as every second that passed it became hotter.
We broke the make-out apart. Our flushed faces appreciated the cool night breeze. We keep wrapped around each other. "I think we should get back inside."
I listened to his pounding heart through his chest. "Not yet, clown boy."
"Whatever you say, love."
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Text
i just watched the dallas theatre company les mis here are my observations
IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THIS PRODUCTION I SUGGEST YOU DO! DON’T READ THIS IF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILERS THOUGH!
so, in case you didn’t know: in 2014, Dallas Theatre Company did a modern interpretation of les mis. i just watched it on youtube (i will link it later, i promise) and took SO MANY GODDAMN NOTES so here they are!
ACT ONE 
(Look Down-WHID)
starting out strong! we got some HARSH TRUTHS ABOUT THE JAIL SYSTEM!! blatant police brutality happening BASICALLY the entire first part of the song. it hurts me. 
note on the cops costumes: they legitimately terrify me and they are dressed in like. full riot gear.
okay so,,,valjean wraps the rope from his bag around his neck at the end of WHID. this is interesting bc, a) he’s trying to find a solution as to what he should do after the Bishop and that’s a direction I’ve surprisingly seen no one take, but b) this part has the same melody as javert’s suicide, when javert is ALSO trying to figure out what he should do after his perception on life is altered. for a moment there, they both are on the same page, the page being suicide. however, only one of them takes that choice.
the above makes the lines (in both songs) “i’ll escape now from that world / from the world of valjean” ESPECIALLY interesting because. in two different ways, they did escape, but they ALMOST had the same conclusion for a brief second.
(At The End Of The Day)
in ATEOTD fantine ends up being the last one working, causing everyone to look at her with varying degrees of annoyance or frustration. She do be hardworking doe
OH SHIT KIDS IN THE FACTORY!! three little kids run up to the foreman when he’s giving daily stipends to the ladies!! (they’re also the last to be paid, giving significant sass to foreman who also sasses back)
Girl #5 mockingly calling fantine “innocent sister” when 5 is white and fantine is a WOC...that’s kind of interesting given that that can be read as SERIOUS racial profiling on 5’s part
foreman looks like bob’s boss in the incredibles but like. tall lmao
(I Dreamed A Dream)
her look of like,,shock-but-not when everyone from the factory exits and she takes off her bandana,,,that. that is good acting
her transitions from chest to head voice are so good
i’m kinda sad she isn’t younger?? or just. doesn’t look super young bc fantine is supposed to be like. early twenties. she’s not 45 and had a decently long life before she died, no, she’s young. she was taken advantage of. that’s the whole point. but that’s sUPER little like this lady is way too good
she has the perfect mix of sadness and regret plus anger and shameless hope. like. kudos to you allison blackwell you’re a dope fantine 
the cry on “killed the dream i dreamed” brb sobbing
(The Dock Scenes)
MALE PROSTITUTES I REPEAT!! MALE PROSTITUTES!! (no idea what wig he’s wearing tho. he was done dirty in the wig department) 
oh male prostitute is prostitute #1! 
oh damn there is. lady def on some bad drugs with her kid passing behind fantine on the bench. ouch.
hoo okay they did n o t censor lovely ladies!! (mini note: camera person has the camera down an AWFUL LOT on these docks scenes lmao)
there are cops on the docks. gross.
(Who Am I-Confrontation)
OH SHIT THEY HAVE A FALSE JVJ IN THE BACKGROUND OF WHO AM I 
jvj comforts not-jvj for a second!! (money note was FANTASTIC btw)
fantine being WOC and DYING in a modern hospital also is,,yeesh because. you know. racist doctors. 
jvj cries after fantine dies JUST STAB ME NOW OKAY—
confrontation is really funny when u see that javert has a GUN and jvj has A CHAIR
JVJ DID THE LIL RUN ON “live within my care” YAAAAY
(COAC-Master Of The House)
oh boy baby cosette,,so small,,so pure plus classic baby head shake when she sings I STAN
MADAME T LOOKS—OH GOOD GOD
DID SHE SPIT ON MY BABY--
cosette: “please do not send me out alone—“ madame t: “oooooh my gOOOOOD” omg 
what the fuck is thenardiers hair i—
WHAT THE FUCK IS THENARDIER IN G E N E R A L
random idea regarding thenardier’s prison tattoo: he has the same number on his chest that jvj has. Meaning he was in jail too. so why isn’t he as messed up as jvj? i wanna say maybe he was in for less time, but like. I doubt it. However, he has a whole ass gang. did the thenardier gang break their boss out of jail? please say yes 
him listing things for baby éponine to charge i love it
OH MY GOD THENARDIER FLAUNTS HIS NUMBER WHILE JVJ DOESNT!! jvj hides his past because he believes it will get him into better places (it does, he becomes mayor for god’s sake) while thenardier shows off his past with stubborn pride. while thenardier cheats his way to success, jvj lives an almost honest life where he ultimately suffers due to the stress all the hiding he does gives him
i love that éponine looks like neither of her parents,,,madame t got around huh? 
(The Bargain)
I JUST REALIZED THE STAGE HAS A CATWALK DOWN THE CENTER INTO THE AUDIENCE THAT IS THE COOLEST OMG
Instead of madame correcting thenardier on cosette’s name he asks cosette herself which prompts the CUTEST ANGRY YELL OF “it’s cosette!” I HAVE EVER SEEN
also thenardier fuckin MANHANDLING cosette i’m DYING
JVJ LOVES HER SM I AM SOFTTT
(The Beggars)
omg marius is so ADORABLE i love him
gavroche is a style icon
kid holding sign saying “my mom got laid off” POOR BB
i love éponine
that’s it that’s the note
wait a sec was that montparnasse with the prostitute earlier in beggars??
ALSO I SEE AZELMA AND OTHER THENARDIER KIDS PRESENT FOR “turn on the tears!!” THANK YOU FOR UTILIZING THAT LINE PROPERLY
why does enj have a bat?? If it;s not a bat then,,,what is it? someone please help me
marius saves cosette from bad guy gang!! 🥰🥰
bruh javert misses jvj running by like,,,MAYBE two seconds that is hilarious 
jav looks so done when thenardier is trying to get out of this lmao i love it
javert looks so cop-like it scares me
(Stars)
the line “safe behind bars” in stars kind of kills me here because as the audience you SEE the cruelty that the convicts face. you see the guy on the ground getting beaten you SEE the chains around their throats and yet. yet javert still somehow thinks that putting jvj in jail is safe? i think the thing to focus on here is not whether it’s safe, because it obviously isn’t. the focus is who it’s safer for, jean valjean or javert?
has it always been “your father” rather than “her father” when marius asks éponine to find where cosette lives?? if they changed it that is SMART because yk. jvj would be ALARMED if he found out he’d been found by éponine but he wouldn’t hurt her. he’s not the guy she has to worry about, it’s her own father. thenardier gave her a job and she’s straying from it, he’s what would endanger her.
THE PLAYFUL BOOP AND SHOVE FROM MARIUS 🥺🥺🥺
(The ABC Café)
“note-ruh daym”
hee hee pretty enjolras
pretty enjolras in skinny jeans even better
OOH we have,,,angry enjolras in this version o k a y
grantaire raises his hand before agog/aghast part omg
“i’ve never heard him ooOOOOh and aAAAAh *excited squeal*
“dan joo-wan” i love texas
bossuet spotted :)
longing gay looks NOT spotted :(
i love enjolras okay but this one is just,,,a little too aggressive. enjolras isn’t just angry all the time, he’s not that one dimensional. of course, there is more of the show to see and i hope he changes a little bit, but so far red and black isn’t doing much for me. enjolras is hopeful, not just angry.
A CAPELLA SECTION IN RED AND BLACK?? I think YES
the amis finding out lamarque is dead has “fuck trump just won the election” energy
okay i was hoping that enj would change his aggression thing when they find out lamarque is dead (bc that’s when most enjolrai figure out what may happen and kinda sober up yk) but. it doesn’t look like he did. there is hope for barricade scenes
OMG LIL NOTE ON COMBEFERRE GIVING OUT FLYERS TO AUDIENCE MEMBERS: that is fucking pERFECT and yk why?? because it’s a call to action!! it’s less obvious in DYHTPS because they’re mostly singing to each other but later in epilogue when the words and melody is repeated, it’s meant as a call to action! “will you join in our crusade, who will be strong and stand with me?” is a cALL TO ACTION AND THEY ARE HANDING FLYERS TO AUDIENCE MEMBERS—that’s officially the only way to break the fourth wall THANK YOU 
hey fantine doubles as a student i think!!
HARMONIES ARE C L E A N OOOOH
(In My Life-Heart Full Of Love)
okay yes i already love cosette because she plays awkward-teen-in-love-for-the-first-time PERFECTLY. 
book-ish cosette hell yes a cutie
father-daughter forehead kisses 🥺
awkward mARIUS TIMEEEEE
placing marius, éponine, and cosette in a triangle is a MARVELOUS decision thank u for that symbolism
marius checking if he looks good and ép giving him a thumbs up omg
*aggressively tries to sit normally* same cosette
*awkward curtsy* also same cosette 
(Attack On Rue Plumet)
robbery time let’s see how they do this
ooh marius and cosette run off but i can’t tell if they notice gang before running
thenardier fuckin SLICES éponine after her scream
NOOOO HER LIL WHIMPER AFTER BEING THREATENED AGAIN
(One Day More)
this lil part between robbery and one day more is interesting bc i legit have NO idea what jvj is thinking here. he keeps looking between his watch (i think it’s a watch idk) and cosette after she runs off to pack so like. what. is he doing here bc he looks like he’s choosing between two things but i don’t,,know,,what things
red berets on the amis are dope btw
i think marius is discussing what to do with éponine here, which is FUN because we all know why she goes to the barricade in the brick :’) éponine might be convincing marius to go to the barricade knowing this is her chance to die with him like in the book
omg
OMG
OMG
that stomp bit with the students was the coolest fucking thing i’ve ever seen
END OF ACT ONE
act two will be posted shortly :D
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judesstfrancis · 3 years
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so I was late to asking u things and I don't want u to have to repeat yourself so answer all the questions in the thing that you haven't already answered thank u 😌
the way I had to pull out my laptop to answer these bc I couldn’t keep them straight on my phone clipboard................ fdskjfsdkj I think I’m gonna put most of these under a read more so they don’t take up too much dash space. thank u!! <3
zinc white; how are you really feeling today? no one-word answers please!
honestly I’m great! it is currently almost 2 in the morning but my day was nice, I got some new clothes, did my laundry, made a good dinner...good vibes all around, loving it for me rn
yellow ochre; name an artist/band whom you just discovered & can’t get enough of!
I haven’t really listened to a lot of new music lately dkfjskj I think the most recent new artist I started listening to was orville peck?? but that was back in like february
naples yellow; where do you feel most at home?
uhh when I’m at home. yes I’m a homebody <3
raw sienna; with whom do you feel most at home? 
truly it’s with the thots I just feel so at ease
golden ochre; describe the relationship you have with your closest friend.
it’s just easy, u know? like no matter what we’re doing, even if we’re just vibing on our own together, it’s nice. I can tell them absolutely anything and it’s not weird and I don’t have to force it out at all
cadmium orange; what do you like to do on your days off?
ok first I always see if any of my friends are busy fkdjsfkj and if they aren’t I see if they wanna just chill or w/e but otherwise just like. turning some music up and sitting in my room with a book/a couple movies I love is ideal for me on a day off. I am very simple I just like to chill
orange lake; do you have anyone you can turn to when you’re sad?
yes! there are two whole people in this world that I spill absolutely everything to bc I trust them with my life and esp when I’m sad bc they always make me feel better. talking to them when I’m having A Day is like I vent and instantly I am normal again. they know who they are I’m sure but for transparency’s sake, it’s u (robin) and maya, no one else gets to unlock my tragic backstories <3
titans; do you prefer slow mornings or relaxing evenings? 
relaxing evenings!
shakhnazaryan red; are you currently binge-watching anything? 
actually I am currently rewatching cycles 1 through 22 of america’s next top model, I’m on like cycle 5 rn I think. having the time of my life, thanks for asking
red ochre; are you more right-brained (creative) or left-brained (analytical)?
I am very much more into creative endeavors, like work-wise, but I feel like the way I think about things is much more analytical. like I prefer Making things, writing or various crafts or what have u, but even when I create I think about the things I’m doing like analytically?? so ig left-brained
burnt sienna; is there a painting that brings you peace when you look at it? 
boy with squirrel by john singleton copley. I love him
english red; what animal do you relate to most?
interesting question! I have no idea. maybe birds? like a finch, maybe. they seem like they have fun
cadmium red; do you have a “type” when it comes to a significant other? 
this one is hard for me to answer bc like. I truly have no idea what a “type” is idk if that’s an ace thing or what. no? maybe? all the people I’ve had crushes on have been vastly different, in terms of like physical looks so probably not actually. I’m not attracted to muscular people tho bc I don’t think they have feelings <3
carmine; what does your ideal second date look like?
once again I have never pictured a date. I just want to hold hands! I think for the ideal first date question I said it just had to be going somewhere where we could Do things together, like walking around a museum or going through shops downtown or something, and that does still apply here, but for the sake of shaking it up, uhh...idk maybe staying in and watching a movie. like not at a theater no one needs to know my business like that but like. at a House. whoever’s, I’m not picky, again ideally I just want to hold hands.
madder lake red; would you ever kiss someone (or accept a kiss) on a first date?
yes. literally if the first thing u do is kiss me I am okay with it. I’m 23 someone just take the shot and kiss me already I’m going crazy over here
quinacridone rose; what’s something you’re really looking forward to? 
really looking forward to the holidays personally I got everyone some really good gifts this year and I can’t wait to hand them out. also my copy of 13 storeys is supposed to finally ship out this week, for real this time! so that’s exciting too
violet rose; what does your dream house look like? 
u know that idealized house with the yellow paint and the white trim? yes. just small and cute and homey
violet; is there any place in particular you’d like to settle down? 
I guess not?? I’d like to be somewhere near my mom bc she’s important to me but like. as long as I’m living with someone I love it doesn’t really matter where I don’t think
blue lake; what would you like to do/accomplish before you settle down?
uh. settling down to me equates to like falling in love and living together so honestly that could happen any time. I need to get a job before we live together so I can like Help Out but like. really any time
cobalt blue spectral; what is the most beautiful place you have ever been to?
I have not been to a lot of places! I’ve been to new york, and san diego, and like. phoenix outside of where I live so. actually if I can include like buildings in places I would like to say that one opera house I went to in new york. I learned I wasn’t a fan of operas BUT I also learned those chandeliers were cool as hell
ultramarine; when was the last time you were in a good mood? do you know/remember what sparked it?
I’m usually in a good mood, I think? my baseline mood is genuinely just like. happy/chill, pero I think the last time I felt Euphoria (tm) was a couple days ago when my mom and I made a really nice dinner together and my brother was there and we just played board games all night
blue; what’s the most recent dream you remember?
I have this recurring habit of waking up from dreams but only barely so when I fall back asleep it feels like I just woke up within the dream? anyway the last one was like that but in one of the times I ‘woke up’ I looked out the window and instead of outside there was like this. static photo of buffalo grazing in open fields?? and it was like green screened kinda, so when I move the image moved with my line of sight it was weird. that’s how I knew it was a dream and woke myself up again, only to immediately fall back asleep and feel like I was waking up from a dream within a dream again
bright blue; what does your dream family look like? any kids or pets? how many of each?
I think living with friends would be cool. like I want to have a significant other I live with but also if we lived with other friends that would be fun. kids, maybe! would be something I’d have to discuss with whatever partner I have in the future. if yes to kids, max two. also I don't want babies, preferably I would adopt older children. pets absolutely, however many doesn’t matter. I’m open to just living in a house with the love of my life and like twelve dogs, that’s ok with me
blue cobalt; do you like your name? would you give yourself a different name if you could?
I do like my name! I think it’s nice and it feels like it fits me. I don’t think I’d change it ever, but if I did I think maybe I’d go with jude bc yes I do love to project <3
prussian azure; what’s your favorite scent?
it’s a tie between suntan lotion and the lumber aisle of any hardware store
azure blue; what’s your favorite type of tea, if any?
vanilla rooibos tea supremacy!
turquoise blue; if you could start a garden, what would you plant?
lots of flowers, first of all. also some kitchen herbs. maybe some fruits!
cerulean blue; if you were guaranteed to have a viewership, would you start a youtube vlog?
yes <3 I want to force people to listen to my pretentious horror opinions and get paid for it
glauconite; describe your body without using any negative adjectives.
look I just have to say it: I’m hot. last night I took a photo and saw my nose from the side and went “omg who IS she” like it’s cute. I’M cute. I’ve seen my ass in the mirror and nothing can top it, sorry
yellow green; picture yourself walking in a field. what do you see & hear in this scenario?
all I’m getting is those scenes from horror movies where eerie whistling starts and like birds start going crazy
green light; are you in a comfortable place in life? if not, what do you think might make it better?
I think so?? I’d like to be more financially secure, pero. I think for the most part yeah I’m alright
green; name three countries you want to visit; do you have any actual plans in place to visit any of them?
ireland and greece for sure, ireland is the one I have most planned out in my head. ig maybe england for the third one, just bc I know my mom wants to go and also I’m very bad at geography so I don’t know what counts as a country. I had to look all these up, I do want to visit them tho, genuinely! esp ireland
emerald green; do you speak any languages besides english? are there any additional languages you want to learn?
the one I’m most fluent in is spanish! and I’m still cracking along at russian, currently I can hold a conversation with like a 4 year old and we can understand each other, it’s pretty cool. I really wanna get into learning irish!! I have a few resources downloaded onto my phone I just haven’t gotten around to it yet
oxide of chromium; what’s your favorite book?
a little life <3 yes I hate it when things are sad just to be sad yes this is my favorite book I contain multitudes
mars brown; what’s a movie that always puts a smile on your face/makes you laugh?
the burbs! I’ve seen it so many times but it always hits
burnt umber; what’s something you plan to do before the day is over to take care of yourself?
the day IS over it’s like two thirty am now but uh. drink some water before I sleep probably
voronezhskaya black; what or who is your go-to outlet for when you need to vent?
I post the “kirby’s fucking pissed” meme on twitter and then I ask u (robin) if I can yell for like five minutes and then I feel valid and then I am normal again
payne’s gray; describe your aesthetic?
it’s a little bit jock and it’s a little bit 1980s skater boy but the best way I can really Describe it is just “gay”
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loveylangdon · 5 years
Text
What’s Clickbait again?
Shawn Mendes x Reader 
Word count: 2459
fluff and angst overload
I honestly don’t even know what I'm doing, this idea has been floating around in my head for the past couple of months, this is also my first time writing so if you have any feedback it is greatly appreciated. unedited bc idek.
Summary: You’re dating Shawn Mendes but was in a long term relationship with David Dobrik and met Shawn through a collab David was supposed to have with him. David is now collabing with Shawn finally and finds out you’re dating the pop sensation.
Masterlist in my bio pt. 2 & 3 out now
_ _ _ _ _
Today was the day Shawn was collaborating with a mysterious youtuber, whether he knew who he was working with or he just forgot to mention who it was to you was nerveracking. Shawn asked you to come along to this video shoot when he heard it was specifically for YouTube. Dating David Dobrik for 3 years had its perks, you knew your way around bits and how to shoot scenes, how to get things done quickly and efficiently.  Met numerous people in the industry and those working for youtube itself thanks to David. You worked great under pressure and Shawn loved that about you. He wanted you with him to calm his nerves, he didn’t know what he would be doing or with who, he just knew they had a huge following. Shawn didn’t particularly like that youtuber’s went around torturing people for views, or making fun of their lives for amusement so having you there knowing the ropes in its entirety would calm his nerves immensely.
You were currently finishing getting ready wondering how on earth Andrew would lead Shawn blind.
“Babe we need to leave in 15 minutes or we're going to be late” Shawn called from down the hall.
“Are you sure you want me to go with prince, what YouTubers are you even working with today, maybe I won’t even be of any help” I pouted as I walked out of the room and towards Shawn. Hoping that he would tell me even though he hasn’t for the past 3 weeks.
Making my way into the hallway with a pout on my face he looked up at me “Stop pouting it’s too cute, you calm my nerves princess, this youtuber world is odd, you seem to know most of them so you can talk for me. Stop trying to get out of it you promised” he pouted. Silently cursing yourself for promising him if he took this brand deal with YouTube, you would be right by his side with whichever youtuber they threw at him was now coming back to bite you in the ass.
Remembering how Shawn got offered a brand deal with YouTube for a bit more exposure before tour didn’t seem like a bad idea considering he started on YouTube they figured he’d blend right back in with Youtube’s number one stars. PR agreed that they wanted to throw his face in with a bit of a newer crowd of vloggers, and Youtuber’s hoping to get ticket sales to go up and expand his audience since Shawn got along with everyone and its how he rose to fame.
Taking two long steps towards me Shawn placed a kiss on my forehead, calming my nerves I snuggled into his chest more. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face into his chest “bub I haven’t seen these people in ages I don’t even know If they know were dating” I mumbled into his t-shirt hoping he didn’t hear me
My brain was going a mile a minute after me and David broke up I stopped hanging around the vlog squad I kept in contact with some of them Zane, and Alex mostly when Ilya and Dima come into town I would have dinner with them and catch up.  Natalie never contacted me after even if I reached out, she didn’t want to betray him. I never put myself in a situation to make David uncomfortable, after seeing him go through his break up with Liza and constantly having her around broke him. I wanted him to heal and be happy.
Grabbing my chin and giving me the biggest puppy dog eyes, he could muster, “bub I love you and we might not be public yet but who cares? you and David broke up months ago, I don’t think anyone would even bring it up if they see you with me and if so, so what they’re going to find out eventually. I love you and you love me.” He pecked my lips as I closed my eyes and continued to pout our foreheads pressed together as he mumbled something.
“what was that,” I ask
Shawn moves a step back sighing “is that why you don’t want to go public” he’s looking at the ground and playing with his rings stealing a glance at me “you still love him and want to get back together with him?” he looks defeated and my heart sinks.
“Shawn Peter” I close the space in between us, threading my fingers through the curls on the nape of his neck so he can lean down and I can rest my forehead on his. playing with the curls there while my other hand is softly holding his cheek. I feel his arms wrap around my waist but he’s still looking at the ground, my heart sinks how could he ask such a question.
“Shawn Peter Raul look at me please” he glances up at me through his long lashes and I gaze into his eyes, I could get lost in there for ages honestly, all I see is love and nerves he looks at the ground again. I play with the curls on the nape of his neck and make him look at me again
“Shawn Peter, I love you with every single ounce of my being, you are not a second choice or a rebound in any way shape or form, do you hear me. i love you, for you and I have never EVER felt this type of love in my life from anyone and it honestly scares me that I love you so much, I will do everything in my power to make you happy, feel safe and loved sooo much love, inspire you because you make me want to be a better person, you Shawn Peter Raul Mendes are my person and the universe has a funny way of making things happen for the best possible ways. I love you rockstar and you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried, I just want to stay in our love bubble a little longer, I just don't want to be clickbait for these people but if you want to go public and you think we’re ready we can, I don’t ever want to hold you back”
Shawn’s grip on my hips tighten as he crashes his lips into mine but as soon as I melt into the kiss he’s pulling away and putting his face in the crook of my neck “I’m sorry” he mumbles into my neck and I feel his breath on my pulse
“prince you’re gonna have to speak up what’s wro-“
he steps back in front of me disconnecting our bodies entirely he’s wiping his eyes and quickly grabs my hands looking at me intently
“I’m sorry I’m jealous, I’m jealous because he’s everything I can't be, he has some level of normalcy and I love you so much it scares me to even think that you might leave me when you get tired of me not being home every night like he was, I don’t care if we go public honestly it’s not even about that, I just don’t want you to feel like you have to settle for me because I was the first person you saw after your guys break up. I love you with everything in me and I know you love me but I knew from the first time I saw you I was in deep but you were with him and it’s just hard to think you gave up a little bit of normalcy to follow me around and I just want to make you happy” he intertwined our hands and starts playing with my fingers
“prince please believe me when I tell you I have never felt this much love and adoration for anyone, and please believe me when I tell you I’m not settling I love you and will follow you to hell and back no matter what it takes because there is no place I would rather be.   here with you through thick and thin, rumors, tours, album releases, award shows, Calvin Klein campaigns-“I trail off in hopes to lighten the mood and he snorts and pulls me into a quick kiss “I love you so much”
our little bubble is broken when his phone rings as he lets go of my hand to answer his phone in his back pocket. he looks at me and raises his eyebrow as he puts the phone to his ear by the look on his face I know it’s Andrew and we’re late to the shoot.
Holding onto his elbow I grab him and pull him out the door “let's go rockstar, we can’t be late”
Shawn hangs up the phone and puts it back in his front pocket. His eyes crinkle up a bit as he shakes his head whispering as he suddenly got serious “Remind me what clickbait is again honey”
walking through a Warner brother sound stage is surreal and weird, what kind of youtube production is associated with warner brothers. Shawn left to go find snacks at production and I’m left wandering when I hear her laugh. This literally can’t be happening. I’m about to turn the corner when I hear Natalie call out to me
“y/n is that you!?” I turn around and smile
“omg y/n I haven’t seen you in so long how have you been, are you working for the studio? or youtube? that makes sense if you were to work with youtube, who knows the ins and outs better than-“ she’s cut off by Shawn voice coming from down the hall.
the 6’2 Canadian comes in smiling from ear to ear at whatever he’s holding in his hands “princess look what I found at the snack table you’re not going to believe it-“ he looks up at you but he’s cut off by Natalie clearing her throat and he looks across from you shocked at first but he quickly composes himself and quickly glances from you to Natalie
“Oh hi I didn’t see you there, Natalie right?” as he extends his hand out for her to shake. she glances at you and quickly shakes Shawn’s hand.
“yah it’s Natalie nice to see you again.” Shawn gives her a genuine smile and looks back at me.
“princess look” he opens his palm and I see my favorite chocolate candy form the UK “they have SMARTIES!” he looks up at me and hands me the weirdly shaped box “they only had two so I grabbed them both I thought it was weird that they had them they’re so hard to find so I knew I had to grab them for you” he moves to put the second box inside your jacket pocket “okay princess I love you but I have to go brian will have my head,  Andrew’s in a mood” he turned to Natalie “it was nice seeing you again Natalie” smiling at her he turns to me, quickly pecks my lips and walks backward smiling “I love you save some candy for me” while making dead eye contact and a hand motion signaling we’re going to be sharing these between us.
I laugh and yell “turn around rockstar I don’t want you to fall” he looks and laughs blows a kiss and turns around and walks down the hall to what I’m assuming is a dressing room.
I blush lightly looking at Natalie, whose eyes are wide “y/n how long have you been with him” she’s looking at me dead in the eyes now and the mood has shifted. I look down and start biting the inside of my cheek.
“8 months...but we were talking before that” I look at her and her demeanor changes slightly, she physically softens. I can't do this. just as quick as she softens she stiffens again
“y/n 8 months...so while David was heartbroken and blaming himself you were out gallivanting with the last person he was supposed to film with before you guys broke up are you serious.” her eyes widen “is that why you broke up because you met Shawn and you wanted to be with him?!”
“Natalie stop! it’s not like that and you know it! you know better than anyone why me and David broke up” my throat tightens and I feel like I’m about to cry. I feel her arms around me.
“I’m sorry ok don’t cry, I know I just-“ she pulls away with her hands on my shoulders looking at me sympathetically. “you’re his best friend I know” I move to take her hands off of my shoulders. suddenly not wanting anything to do with her. after the break up she refused to talk me, I didn’t only lose 3 years of my life with David I lost 5 years of friendship with Natalie too.
Having to go through a breakup with not only my best friends of 3 years, but I also ended up losing two of the people closest to me.
I take a breathe “I should really go find Shawn” I wipe my eyes and start looking around and rub my hands on my jeans “if they’re doing his hair over again he’ll want me to do it and-“
“does he make you happy,” she asks
I feel my chest tighten and butterflies erupt in my stomach at her question I smile “he really does” I go to wipe my cheeks again with my dry hand but can’t because of the smarties Shawn put in my hand and I’m smiling like an idiot all over again.
Natalie speaks up “you know David keeps those in the house now, they’re permanently on his rider for whenever we work with bigger companies or go anywhere he doesn’t eat them often but he likes to have them because they remind him of simpler times” she softly smiles at me, insinuating that the real reason Shawn found them was because David requested them.
I give her a tight lipped smile, she didn’t know anything, “it was nice running into you Nat I really need to go find Shawn” before she can say anything I turn around and as I turn the corner I hear an infamous vlog laugh come from the opposite side of the sound stage. I feel like my heart is going to burst.
- - - - 
I Hope you enjoyed it and if you made it this far thank you, This is my first time writing so if you have any feedback it is greatly appreciated. I'm thinking of making a second part so if I should let me know. Thank you 
Pt. 2
Pt. 3
Xx
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booshi-hoon · 4 years
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tldr: even though i struggle with my views on kpop, seventeen will always have a special place in my heart and they helped me understand why people rely on music/kpop emotionally. 
i’ve been having a really tough couple days (just bc of internal emotional turmoil nothing major on the outside). 
I’ve been going through the usual “ahhhh what is my purpose?? I’m not doing enough!!! Why am I even complaining??” type mentality, mixed with the realization that I need to address and heal some things inside me too. I haven’t suffered through any major traumatic events, and I found this as a way to dismiss my negative feelings ever since I could remember. It’s not healthy and once this pandemic is somewhat under control im goin to therapy yall. There’s not bare minimum trauma requirement for therapy, everyone can go, and this took me a long time to accept. 
ANYWAY (sorry for the long ass tangent), but I am always impressed with how healing Seventeen can be. I’ve struggled with how involved i became as a carat, and I policed my own enjoyment bc it seems wrong to be “obsessed” with a kpop group...right? I never really understood what people meant when music or a group “is there for them”. Logically, I understood how impactful music can be for people, but I always labeled it as entertainment rather than a genuine way to heal emotionally. I was always a “beats/melody” listener rather than someone who listens to the lyrics, so I never turned to a specific music genre or group whenever times were rough. 
My outlet has always been writing, still is, but seventeen has shown me why so many people turn to music and kpop groups when times are rough. I watched PD listen to the henggarae album on youtube and i just cried. I could see how much the album meant to him as a long time fan, and it just made me cry. I could feel the genuine love he had for the music and the boys, even though he admitted that he felt like the past few albums haven’t been the same for him. 
I don’t know, i guess what I’m trying to say is it’s amazing how something that is a huge capitalist entertainment monster that is the kpop industry can still have a semblance of genuine connection through the music, members, and fans. 
I have a lot of criticisms about kpop...but i’ve never felt so emotionally attached to anything like it before. I’ve really really really relied on kpop for the past 6 months to get me through some ugly feelings, and overwhelming overthinking. 
Like the amount of genuine joy I had when watching Going Seventeen, fan crack edits, seeing random SVT clips and pics on instagram, joining in on the hype and excitement on twitter...i felt like I was allowed to be a kid again. 
My existential dread was momentarily put on hold and instead I was looking forward to a comeback! New music I would love! 
Idk, I’ve really struggled with my relationship w kpop bc some things just dont sit right with me, but seventeen will always always always hold a special place in me. 
I think I’ve finally found a great middle ground of getting back into the core of enjoying seventeens content, and I stripped away my weird hunger for constant updates/carat twitter drama, and all the other unnecessary negative energy I was really wrapped into that made the experience turn sour. 
Even if I do stray at times, and might eventually naturally fall off of kpop, there’s no questioning how impactful they’ve been during some of the roughest times I’ve been through. 
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ecl1pse · 4 years
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Hi! I saw ur post on how it’s hard to stan gidle bc of the questionable stuff they do and since I don’t know much about it can u please explain to me anything problematic they’ve done? Not that I doubt u I just wanna know about it
ooh, girl! lemme tell ya. this is gonna be a long one, and i will preface this saying i absolutely do not have all the facts and details, but this is what i’ve gathered in my time being a mostly soft neverland.
when (g)i-dle debuted they released this v beautiful mv along with their debut song latata. in the mv the girls had henna in their hands, which, ok. nothing too bad, right. but that was just the beginning of a very weird history of cultural appropriation.
then they released another banger: hann (alone). amazing vocals. amazing sound. cool choreo. but the mv was littered with all these…hm. middle eastern references. which. ok, latata also had some of that. it’s…ok. maybe they’re just going for A Thing. it’s ok. this is just their first comeback, their second single overall, and their first digital single release ever. BUT during one of end of year shows, the girls found themselves in hot water bc they had a stage where they had freaking synagogue as their backdrop. not even like a cool 3d stage, it was printed synagogue on freaking sheet. we all collectively had a very oof moment. (also, shuhua had like, no lines in this song. a crime on itself.)
after that came senorita. which should have been called señorita. it was catchy, it was replayble, it was spicy. it was also also kind of weird how they had a guy just singing “señorita” in the background, and no other lyrics in spanish, other than soojin saying “señor” by the end…hm. also the beat is just very generic “latin-inspired” song. in one of their live stages they had a fake-ass mariachi band as their….back up dancers. or whatever. they were just in the background pretending to play the trumpets. which personally i found more funny than offensive. but also i’m mexican and when momoland dressed up in ponchos, sombreros and fake mustaches, me and my sister just laughed and went “haha we do look like that!” i can take a joke. like, very easily. (also, if you want a more tactful latin-inspired k-pop song, listen to vav’s senorita & give me more. absolute bops imo.)
after that came uh-oh, which is a very clearly an old-hip hop inspired comeback, even down to the mv. it’s proooobably my favorite song of theirs ngl. this comeback wasn’t…too bad or shrouded in controversy, ‘cause tbh the mv director did a pretty good job at paying homage to late 90s/early 2000s music videos. but still, some people were skeptical considering the rep they had been building up. and at this time it was becoming very clear that soyeon is calling the shots, or at least has the most say out of all the girls both in songwriting and art directing when it comes to their concepts/mvs.
during the summer/fall of 2019 gidle participated in the competition show queendom. in the show, during the planning of the stage performance for their cover of 2ne1′s fire, soyeon asked yuqi to make “tribal sounds” for the opening of the song and sing it like she’s “an african chief” and said this was how they could keep their sound, which she describes as “ethnic hip.” it was. gross. and the rest of the girls just laughed it off. queendom pretty much ended up confirming everyone suspicions that soyeon is the one coming up with these ideas and the rest of the girls are just there to do what she says. you can look up the behind the scenes and planning of the stages on m-net’s youtube channel. soojin doesn’t even get a word out when they were planning the fire stage. it’s…weird ngl. you can’t even accuse m-net of evil editing this one bc she just says that! like, wtf. anyways [here is an excerpt of the video]. she says it with such a straight face, too. ew.
people demanded an apology from gidle, soyeon more specifically. it never came. so people boycotted their next release: lion. honestly i don’t know if any transgressions happened during this time cuz i was just so put off by what was mentioned above that to this day i can’t really even vibe to lion. it just brings a guttural disgust to my whole being.
i’m little iffy on the timeline here – bc like i mentioned, i was keeping as far away as possible from gidle at the time cuz of soyeon’s comments – but i do remember that some time after yuqi found herself in hot water for a comment she made about shuhua during a livestream that went like she “needed darker skin to be a police because her white skin wouldn’t let her to catch criminals at night.” or at least that’s how a fanclub made it sound like. it sounded v suspish, but a lot of fans came to her defense saying the joke was poking fun at how fair shuhua is and how she wasn’t actually making fun of darker skin. the fanclub that made the translation actually came out with a letter of apology saying they had rushed the translation and the joke was actually little more nuanced than what they made it out to be. regardless, yuqi actually apologized on a fancafe letter. which was actually really nice of her, since the mistake wasn’t so much on her part, and if anything this is a way lighter offense than anything soyeon has ever done or said, and yet….
[here is a koreaboo article that includes screenshots of the fancafe letter and a translation]
it’s been awhile since gidle/soyeon have said or done anything since – well, it’s been a while since they have released anything, and they’ve been under a microscope since the queendom incident. also, i haven’t payed attention at all to what they have been doing, if they have been doing anything, lol.
their latest transgression has been the very blatant, very suspicious uplifting of imagery from fka twig’s cellophane mv onto their mv for their newest single, oh my god. @anna-something made a [post] which very clearly lays it all out, screenshots and everything. considering all the evidence above i have to say this one also falls on soyeon’s shoulders yet again. also, as i was making this post someone commented on an yt comment i made on a mv reaction of the mv (since i’m not gonna give them views, lol) saying “maybe they have the same mv director.” i looked it up, they don’t. cellophane was directed by andew thomas huang, while oh my god was directed by yoon rima.
in conclusion, it is very exhausting to try to stan (g)i-dle. wouldn’t recommend it. mostly because soyeon does not seem like the greatest person ever. now, i will say i am all for cultural appreciation! in fact, i tried to believe that’s what they were going for during senorita. but… it’s become very clear that soyeon doesn’t understand there IS a line between appreciation and blatant appropriation, so she tends to fall on the latter. if she just apologized, strived to be better, and actually took the criticism and applied it towards becoming a better person – and therefore a better artist – than i could get behind her 100%. but as it stands right now, i don’t like her. i don’t like her at all. i have given her chances, but she does not seem to want to accept her missteps. she doesn’t even addresses them at all. and i’m tired. if yuqi could, why can’t she? i doubt cube, as shady as they are, is keeping her from releasing some sort of statement. 
if she intends to make it big over here in the west she needs to grow up, she needs to apologize. until she does that she will continue to jeopardize not only her own career, but also yuqi’s, miyeon’s, soojin’s, shuhua’s, and minnie’s careers, and they really don’t deserve that. she might be the biggest voice in the group, but she’s also the one dragging them down. APOLOGIZE, SOYEON, GODDAMMIT!
if anyone wants to add anything else that missed, please feel free to do so.
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tokyoghoose · 4 years
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got any anime recommendations? something underrated or lesser known stuff maybe
Omg yes hold on okay
So
First up one of my favorite series: a certain scientific railgun and its counterparts a certain magical index and a certain scientific accelerator (though i havent watched that one yet)
This series was one of the first ones i watched way back in middle school on youtube and using a funimation free trial. It was my shit and im actually rewatching it now. If you liked My Hero Academia, i really suggest giving these a shot. The first couple episodes might not seem super hype but i promise you give it time. A certain magical index is in my opinion pretty funny and a certain scientific railgun is a bit more serious and dramatic but they blend very well together all the same
Listeners
Its a new anime you can watch on funimation. I started it when it launched and it seems like a really cool idea with loads of potential. I cant wait to see where it goes
corpse princess
I just started this anime not too long ago but i love it. My dad who has been watching anime since he was like twenty suggested it to me and it's fantastic. It starts off straight to the point. Im watching it in sub tho bc the dub voice acting sounds goofy to me and doesnt match with the vibes but whatever you vibe with i suggest. Super dope with pretty cool characters
Kengan Ashura
Not gonna lie it took me a while to get into it and it definitely isnt everyones bread and butter, but i say give it a chance. The animation is super unqiue and the storyline is pretty interesting with intriguing characters. Though be warned its really violent and graphic, so if you dont like seeing super fucked up shit during fights then i dont suggest it.
michiko and hatchin
i dont know if you would consider this underrated but i dont hear a lot about it. It follows a woman and this little girl on the search to find this hunk of a guy. It's kinda slow but its funny and reminds me of a slice of life but with more drama ig? Its really cute to see how they bond and it gives a pretty realistic portrayal of how a little girl and a random chick would act having to team up suddenly, or at least imo it does.
Ranma 1/2
When i a child my dad would put this on ans we would all watch it because we didnt want to watch inuyasha (we made fun of my mom for saying it like washer) anywayz it can be a little questionable at times but its a cute feel good classic to watch whenever you just want to laugh or have something in the background
TWEENY WITCHES
MY MF CHILDHOOD!! I used to have the dvds lol but i loved this anime as a kid. It's the first one i ever watched, but lets be real how much could i comprehend? If you can find where to watch this PLEASE LET ME KNOW. Its super cute and i remember laughing my ass off at it. It definitely deserves more attention.
Black butler
Again not super underrated and was pretty popular a couple years ago at fhe time of like free! And ouran but i dont hear a lot of people talking about it now. In fact, a lot of people i talk to have never seen it. If you havent i suggest it. Its a good starter anime for older kids and adults with more mature themes. Definitely breaks the stigma that anime is just cartoons and for children. I remember watching it in sixth grade and dude i loved that shit, but if you arent sure about the darker themes then id wait. Honestly, if it werent for the fact i was raised on horror movies, i probably wouldnt have watched it. ( which is funny bc i could watch this bht not hsotd until highschool )
I hope this helped. There a definitely tons more than i could suggest but i wanted to give these shot first. Lemme know if you want more. I love giving suggestions and i could talk about it all day. 🤗🤗
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starryseo · 6 years
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youtuber!changbin
omg i’m excited for this one bc it’s the loml
s e o  c h a n g b i n
enjoy :)
Chan | Woojin | Minho | CHANGBIN | Hyunjin | Jisung | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin
introducing the one and only. . .
Changbin “I love dark” Seo!!!!
so, as you (probably) already know
he has done lots of collabs with chan and jisung under 3racha
that’s how he met the rest tbh; chan messaged him and jisung both for a 3-person collab and then he stuck with them bc they made some bombass tracks
and he also manages the joint StrayKids youtube account where their gameplays are posted
he has too much time on his hands
which is also why he posts a lot of diss tracks about the other guys
it’s all in good nature, no harm done
and his insults are the bEST
he’s actually a lyrical genius
and no one can hate him or what he says in his raps because
1) what he said is probably true
2) if you hate on it, he’ll come out with a second diss track that’s much worse
his tracks are usually about how chan is like the dad of the group
but everyone just uses him for his money (not in a mean way!!!!!)
or about how felix is desperate for changbin’s love but it’s unrequited (he’s still salty about the forced kiss ok, give him time pls)
he hasn’t made a diss track about jeongin though because the boy is too precious okay no one can say anything bad about him except jyp but hes a snake so screw him
you may be asking what changbin could’ve said about seugmin bc he’s also heckin’ precious but i’m afraid you’re gonna have to wait for seungmin’s one to find out ;)
jisung once hacked into changbin’s youtube account
hacked meaning he guessed changbin’s password (hint: it was ilovegyu<3)
and changed the profile picture to a screenshot he got from a video hyunjin took of changbin being dared to act cute
the video was vv cringey so jisung figured this was the perfect revenge for that diss track changbin made of him
and he also thought changbin needed a change from the pitch black profile pic he had up before
yeah, he loves dark thaaaaat much
as well as producing music and gaming
changbin also dabbles in skateboarding and a biiit of parkour
he does this with felix
(when he has a quick method of escaping felix’s wrath, he can tolerate time together)
his skateboard is. . .
you guessed it: black
probably has a skull or some other ‘scary’ design on the front too
but felix managed to notice a small sticker of a munchlax (the pokemon gyu is fyi) on the back too :) cutie :) 
changbin really loves skateboarding because he thinks it looks cool and goes well with his dark concept
but then he always ends up bumping into something because sometimes he pulls his cap too far down and so he can’t see very well
idiot
it’s really funny seeing him try to act nonchalant about tripping up
when everyone around saw
and felix videoed it and is laughing his ass off
changbin threatened to murder felix if he posted that video anywhere
and felix was like “;) good thing i haven’t posted it... i did send it to the SK group chat though”
bro felix was literally running away for his life and changbin was right behind him on his skateboard tryna run him over
that was not a good day to be felix tbfh
the parkour he does is usually quite simple (about as simple as parkour w/ a skateboard can get)
but he looks badass whilst doing it so it’s cool
his favourite move is when he rides perpendicular to a rail and so the board goes under the rail and he jumps over the rail
it took a while to perfect the landing but he was really determined and now he’s mastered it i’m so proud of him
whenever he posts these videos he gets a lot of comments
because with his music & gaming videos his face usually isn’t seen
but with this, it is
so there are a lot of comments about him being b e a u t i f u l
the comment with the most likes was from jisung who was like “mr dark?? more like sunshine boy! :) keep up the great work i <3 your vids!!”
he was close to reporting that comment just so it would go away lmao salty
but instead he ranted to gyu like “sunshine boy? i’m not a sunshine boy, i’m a dark, dark man, right gyu?”
the group have a lot of hang-outs at his house (bc dude look at his house wtfffff it’s so shiny)
and his mum is the cutest!!! always giving them food as soon as they enter
she also LIVES to embarrass her child, poor changbin :(
constantly pulling his cheeks, giving him lil’ kisses and always calling him her “little prince” or some other equally cheesy variant
the guys lowkey thinks it’s cute and know she’s only doing this for fun, but they still use it as an opportunity to laugh at him
one time she whipped out the photo album with baby changbin pics and omg they’ve never seen changbin redder in the face than that day
no one knows if he was fuming or just really embarrassed lmao
what hurt the most was how jeongin - the baby of the group - was laughing and calling him a “cute baby”
and obviously hyunjin had to go “wow dude you were so cute, what happened to you??”
his mum, bless her soul, was like “he takes after his father that’s why”
#SavageSeoMama (this is where he gets inspiration for his diss tracks)
oKAY BACK TO GAMING!!!!
he mainly plays shooting games like battlefield, CoD and csgo with the guys
loves it when they play with just them in a local match, not online (mainly talking about CoD here)
because then he can put on friendly fire so that he can kill his team mates lmao
he’s a major kill scene stealer and proud - truly evil
the guys eventually kick him out of the lobby
only bringing him back once he’s apologised to them
to this day, he hasn’t apologised lmfao
when they kick him out he’ll just start playing online
because changbinnie don’t care 
he loves killing people’s hype
for instance, jisung will be cheering over the mic like “yay!! i got the last kill”
and changbin will just reply like “ok and?”
jisung: “wHY CAN’T YOU JUST BE HAPPY FOR ME?!?!?!? I <\3 YOU”
the real question is: how did jisung say “<\3″?
he kills his own hype too though
like when he gets the final kill and suavely goes “wow much skill”
and felix is like “yeah!! wow!!! that was so cool changbinnie!!!”
he’s just like “yeah it wasn’t that good, stop that”
sometimes when they’re all playing free-for-all
he’ll start singing his threats
like he’ll be two steps behind seungmin and just start lowly singing “seungmin, i’ve got your back~”
and like normally someone might interpret that to mean “dw bro i got your back, i’m protecting you, you’re covered”
but nah
changbin straight up stabbed seungmin in the back
seungmin felt that betrayal in his heart
so on the one hand he’s singing to people before he kills them which is heckin’ creepy
but on the other hand he has a beautiful voice so it’s not that bad???
but on the other, other hand (idk imagine 3 hands or smth) he’s technically being nice by giving them a heads-up before he kills them so
really
they should appreciate his kindness
:)
ok no i can’t defend him he’s too into these killing games
the only person he likes teaming up with is hyunjin and here’s why:
chan talks about strategy too much (dude all you gotta do is kill ok relax a bit)
woojin, as previously discussed, makes really bad rookie mistakes
minho gets too frantic when ambushed and just ends up dying without fighting back
jisung is too talkative
felix is also too talkative and is too risky (he’s literally jumped in front of changbin’s character dramatically like “I’ll save you!”. jeongin ended up killing the both of them together lmfao #DoubleKill)
seungmin just runs around in the middle of the battlefield with NO strategy
and jeongin is jeongin. he’s too precious for changbin’s lethality
so that leaves hyunjin. he’s the right amount of talk-y (yes that’s now a word), he has gr8 gameplays, he can handle a multiple-person attack AND he can be really frickin’ ruthless at times
gotta love that boi
felix is always fueled to kill hyunjin for stealing his man
but honestly changbin would rather just solo it because “i work alone, buddy” [sOMEONE GET MY REFERENCE PLS]
wow this has gotten rlly long soz
imma just end it here:
although changbin loves killing them in games and mocking them through his diss tracks
the guys know that they can trust him 100% and that he really, truly does have their backs (even seungmin’s)
and he’s always prepared to fight anyone that hates on any of the guys because only he can do that okay they’re his family and no one else can do that to them
he feels blessed to have them and whenever they come around to his house he’ll get lowkey sentimental bc wow, this is his family that bring a smile to his face everyday
and although he probably won’t admit it without jisung forcing him to, he really loves these guys and is glad to have met them
thank you for reading this far lmao hope you enjoyed it & feedback is always welcome!!
i saw some tag where someone talked about waiting for hyunjin’s one, and bc i’m doing this in age order he’s coming soon
and now just to playfully annoy them i wanna change the order
just kidding
ok not kidding i wanna change the order but i’m too lazy to since i’ve already planned it out
also!! is the desktop theme okay for everyone?? pls let me know of any improvements! :) thank youuuuuuuuuuu
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sorikkung · 6 years
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You did an intro to got7 a while ago could you maybe do one for A.C.E.??? They seem like a good group but I'm clueless atm so it would be v helpful!!!
lololol i did an intro to mark from got7 but not got7 as a whole, but yes ofc i will i love my talented bois and i love rambling about them heRE WE G O
an introduction to a.c.e, for dummies (jk ily choice is a great fandom pls join us)
also this is gonna get rlly long so im gonna put it under a cut
A.C.E is a 5-member boygroup under beat interactive!! which is a p small company atm so my boys dont exactly have the high quality living and practice areas and food that they deserve :(( THEYLL GET THERE THO IM SURE OF IT THEYRE LEGENDS
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here’s their youtube channel with aaaaall sorts of goodies
i started stanning a.c.e predebut, bc they had a lot of content for a group that hadn’t debuted yet, and it was enough to snatch my attention real quick so you should check that shit out, they did a shitton of AMAZING covers and to get their name out there more, street buskings its a lot but i swear its worth your time theyre so talented!!
also they have matching tracksuits what more could you ask for tbh (as you can see from that vid, they’re literally so fucking extra)
a few of my favs are
this rlly long busking video w girl group songs and just a bit of everything tbh,
THIS amazing remix/cover of kard’s don’t recall by the rap line + this one cute girl,
only THE most iconic playing w fire cover, band version, (I WILL NEVER STOP SCREAMING ABOUT THAT VIDEO HONESTLY I COULD MAKE A POST ON THAT COVER ALONE ISTG) 
their flashlight cover that is enough to make a grown man cry omfuckigngOD it makes me feel things hjskskkh
that ONE TAKE dance cover they did of 3 of taeyangs songs, all focusing on a different member of the dance line
im gonna stop here before i link every damn cover they made
okay so now that thats covered (bad-um-tss) time for…DEBUT
THIs beauty right here is their debut song cactus, which has this really deep meaning to it. bc they came from a small company so they have to work extra hard to even be able to debut let alone be successful and they’re like a cactus bc cacti grow in the desert where there’s very little water but they still manage to stand strong even through the hardest of weather an environment conditions and eventually sprout beautiful flowers,, buuuuuut its also a meme for obvious reasons.
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tbh debut era choice culture was just listening to cactus on repeat for days bc it was their only song at the time skjslaas not much has changed tbh LMAO but yes theyre a very edm loving group so their DANCE SKILLS ARE ON POINT SERIOUSLY IVE SEEN FEW GROUPS AS AMAZING AT DANCING AS ACE WOWOW
oh yeah did i mention that their fandom name is choice and that choice are literally the softest fandom my multifandom ass has e v e r been in?? theres literally no cringy or toxic side of the fandom its just so soft and welcoming and pure and everyone is so nice and sweet and friendly and just??? wow i love choice a lot hjkskjsshkhk choice are also SUPER talented too stan talent stan choice
speaking of cringe ace is that group that just like skipped the entire “rlly cringy boygroup debut phase” completely like no weird debut haircuts or outfits or weird lyrics about girls, well actually thats all kinda objective but like they made those outfits work ok and im a cactus isnt that weird of a lyric if you know the deep meaning behind it
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aS yOu CaN sEe, cactus era was the era of the tHIGHS and the hot pants. it was literally so iconic it blew up and with great reason too, have you seen those thighs?? AND THEY KNOW IT TOO they even mentioned they chose the hot pants as their style concept and took better care of their legs than their faces. true kings. heres a video of a.c.e talking about the whole hot pants thing and just their legs in general its some quality shit. and heres a video where they decide to show off just how great their thighs are bc they like to kill choices like that, this video is important and iconic bc its where the wowson ship began and also when they declared who the king of thighs were amongst the kings of thighs. definitely a necessary watch for new choice imo. donghun lowkey grinds on the floor at 4:04, you’ve been warned. honestly that video just gets progressively gayer lmao i love it
also for us international choice they made an ENGLISH cover of cactus CAN YOU BELIEVE IT I LOVE THEM SM they didnt have to but they did and oml stan a group who stans you back this hard their english aint that great but theyre trying and i appreciate it so much theyre so amazing look
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five months later they dropped their second single, callin’, and b o y was this a stressful comeback, beat had us FOOLEd,, i genuinely thought it was gonna be a flowerboy soft concept yknow with like some sweet lowkey ballad or soft pop song, but nOOooOOOooo, MORE HARDSTYLE EDM not that im complaining callin is a bop but i was TRICKED
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LOOK AT THIS SHIT ITS ALL AESTHETIC AND THE CLIP OF THE SONG WAS ALL SOFT I WAS REALLY EXPECTING SMTH SOFT im sorry im still salty that beat tricked me but ITS FINE bc callin is a HELLA BOP like i honestly didnt expect them to top cactus so quickly bc like cactus was hella but they DID and its amazing and heres the link be blessed (warning, these gifs above make it look like a soft vid but there are LOTS of flashing colours and lights and its really intense on the eyes if youre not comfortable with that dont watch, just listen)
they also supplied multiple dance pracs you can find on their channel for callin bc ace feeds us well, although callin had a reaaaally short promotion period bc right after they got thrown onto survival shows for more publicity, but hey, its working!! choice is growing bigger every day and im so proud
donghun, wow and jason all went on yg’s show mixnine, and jun and chan went on the idol rebooting show, the unit. both teams are doing EXTREMELY well on their respective shows!! but ill talk more about that in their individual member profiles bc they havent been put on the same team for anything yet rip
edit: mixnine finished and donghun and jason made the cut for the final group, sehyoon didn’t :(( so dongson will be promoting with the mixnine group for a lil bit!! also chan made it to the unit debut group but jun didnt. im hoping for a sehyjun subunit pls
that was long af but now im gonna dive into the members individually!! so its probs gonna get twice as long sorrynotsorry i warned you
Jun (Park Junhee)
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jun is the so-called fiery leader of ace (also lead dancer and lead vocal) but is honestly just a giant dork and a sweetheart. hes the type of guy who you scream at for being dumb and call him an idiot but thats your weird way of expressing your undying love for him?? ask literally any jun stan, they’ll say they hate him. hate him for being so PERFECT like a fucking DISNEY PRINCE he’s the designated prince of the group you know theres always that one member and hes just so LOVEABLE and stupid and skjdakhkjs he fuckign dropped his cake on his birthday when do your faves ever. dad of the group, probably lost the maknaes in the shopping mall about 3 times already. talks a lot, hates aegyo, his members might be planning on sacrificing him to satan? he does on idol class with chan every…i think its wednesday and fans vote who gets punishments n stuff and jun loses every damn time i think hes losing his faith in choice lmao. #saveleaderjun
he’s kinda married to donghun, they’re the parents of ace but donghun might try murder him in his sleep idk man, but now hes on the unit with chan and theyre all cute and you can literally ship everyone with everyone in this group
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he has HELLA charisma on stage tho oh my gOd also he has one of the most unique singing voices ive ever heard so its really easy to single out, his face also is the first i learned to tell apart?? he has rlly high cheekbones and a wide but thin smile.
this is actually an ot5 video not just jun but jun’s reaction was by far the most iconic so i have to put it in his section, get you a fave who can FLY lmaooo
it would be CRIMINAL if i didnt solo out jun’s ringa linga cover, thE MOST ICONIC JUN COVER EVER HJFKDSJKFDSJK if i ever stop talking about this assume im dead bc IVE NEVER GOTTEN OVER IT jun in a leather jacket looking all rude and staring at the camera like that im WEAK, SO WEAK, AAAAAAAAHHHH
[ahem] MOVING ON
Donghun (Lee Donghun)
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donghun, sometimes romanised as donghoon and often referred to by choice as hun or hoon, is the oldest member of the group and another total sweetheart, honestly ace is just a group of sweethearts, he cares for his members so damn much and is super soft?? but ALSO A s Av Age he’s on mixnine with sehyoon and jason and he SHOT DOWN YG, once again I C O N I C, yg was at a loss for words, heres more receipts of him being savage, i love my sassy boyfriend. BUT HES ALSO A SWEET NOODLE HJKSHJKS oH and did you know that before he joined a.c.e he had no experience in dancing whatsoever and in a year and a half, he caught up with the other four members that have been dancing since they were kids?? I STAN TALENT YALL you’d literally never be able to guess that bc all of them are like on an equal dance level its insane
also he used to have braces during cactus era and it was the softest shit
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[cOUGHS] so like did someone say disrespect,,, bc he can do that too,,,,, aAAAAAAAH the duality of this man istg
he’s the main vocalist and has vO C AL S OF AN A N GEL, he has so much soul and emotion in his voice, and has adlibs for days oh my god, he also has the MOST BEAUTIFUL FALSETTO i’ve ever heard, fight me, actually come at me. his voice works REALLY well with chan so they pair him up with him for quite a handful of covers like the all of me one i linked (one of my favs omfg it makes me emo) cause like, his soulful voice plus chan’s higher, sweet voice just sounds so great together i love our main vocals wow.
sPEAKING OF WOW,
Wow (Kim Sehyoon)
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his stage name is wow, but its hard to take seriously so the fandom just calls him sehyoon lmfao. it used to be seyoon but when he went on mixnine, he revealed sehyoon was the official romanization so here we are lmao. even if your bias isn’t sehyoon…it’s sehyoon. he’s just that guy ya feel me?? anyways sehyoon is a relatively quiet and reserved guy, but his members really pull out the dork in him, i love it so much?? he doesn’t talk much but when he does all of a.c.e directs their full attention to him to listen, its really sweet, hes pretty awkward with people but you can tell he just feels so safe and comfortable with ace it honestly warms my heart. he’s the main rapper and main dancer, but!! our multitalented man is also a vocalist. yes, you heard, me, the main rapper can sing, and really well at that. (if you scroll up back to the flashlight and dont recall covers, you can see more of his voice.)
gets the least lines, but not by much. although hearing his singing voice in their actual songs has happened like with 2 lines?? so idk man im just waiting for their ballad song that theyre apparently doing for their third song, god im so ready. i love his voice a lot, damn.
he’s also like reeeeeeeeeally gay for jason…the entire fandom ships it and they even ship it themselves. wowson, the otp of ace, they honestly just cant keep their hands off eachother??? i know a friend who struggled to tell apart jun and jason so she just looked at who sehyoon was standing next to and instantly knew it was jason. THEYRE SO CLINGY. i love my squishy boyfriends. 
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OHHH BOY…i really could’ve used an even more disrespectful gif than this but that would ruin the surprise of watching it in the actual video!! as you can see, sehyoon is the K I N G of disrespect on stage, that shy lil fluffle bean you see offstage?? GONE. DISAPPEARED. VANISHED. this is why his stage name is wow, sehyoon disappears and you just go wow. choice has dubbed him king of bodyrolls with great reason, he makes every concept into a sexy concept, he just has that intimidatingly sexy aura to him, its incredible. 
now…are you ready….i bet youre not…who am i kidding NOBODY was ready for this shit. on mixnine, sehyoon was picked as leader for one of their stages (i think he was leader for ringa linga too??) and got to choreograph the routine. if you think its already rude 10 seconds in, its all over for you bitches when the lighting goes yellow. i feel the need to repeat, our boy CHOREOGRAPHED THIS. IT WAS ALL HIS IDEA. EVERY. SINGLE. PART. this is the same kid who everyone on the show knew as the shy, quiet, handsome boy. but then. 
but then he did this.
Jason (Kim Byeongkwan)
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jason is his stage name that he chose for himself but his real name is byeongkwan, its another case of an idol having a stage name and nobody calling them by it?? i mean most new choice call him jason and i personally switch between the two but most choice seem to call him byeongkwan or bk if theyre extra lazy lmao. memers call him byonk sometimes.
jason is the weird child of the group and we all love him…he’s the second lil ball of sunshine and part ½ of the maknae line. he’s often found clinging to sehyoon or literally any of the members bc he’s an affectionate son who loves cuddles okay?? p r o t e c t   h i m.
he’s also the lead everything. yeah thats really not fair but jason is op ok?? singing, rapping, dancing, visual, like sehyoon he’s the full package, i can hardly call them the rap line they’re just the op line t b h. triple threats.
on their official twt jason likes to confirm wowson a lot, its p great lololol he’s the biggest wowson shipper of all time. want more wowson? i gotchu, here’s one of my absolute fav moments. (ft. junchan/chun)
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he has some HELLA CHARISMA on stage like boy can u pls chill. they also love doing his eye makeup with that red makeup and it looks rlly good bc bk has such pretty eagle eyes and its his Look™ and that along with his onstage persona is a DEADLY COMBINATION HDSJKSKSLKJS 
i’m just gonna keep this short; even if your bias isnt byeongkwan, your bias is byeongkwan. he has that affect on everybody. number one bias wrecker out of the fandom t b h apart from sehyoon (he cant be my bias wrecker if he is my bias so im safe :^J)
Chan (Kang Yuchan)
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INTRODUCING OUR CHANSHINE, MAIN VOCAL OF ACE, CUTIE MAKNAE CHAN!!!! he always introduces himself as a.c.e’s main vocal cutie maknae chan, its his iconic line and it suits him so well like LOOK AT HIM ISNT HE JUST A FUCKING RAY OF SUNSHINE WHAT A PURE CHILD I MUST PROTECC he’s literally the happy virus y’all AND ACE KNOWS IT TOO heres this one time where donghun even said that looking at chan cheers him up. certified sunshines only, everyone. also watch that whole video its long but its worth your time.
anyways our boy is a main vocal and as mentioned in donghun’s part they harmonize!!! so!! well!! i mean tbh all of ace can harmonize with eachother its the most beautfiul thing but these two are main vocal for a reason okay. if you didn’t already watch it in donghun’s part listen to THIS and have your ears be blessed i cry everytime oh my god skdfhd ALSO THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT ITS LIKE ONE OF MY FAVOURITE VIDEOS ON THE INTERNET i want to cry i lvoe chans voice so much i love chan i love kang yuchan og hmylhdg sodf i was gonna say i swear im sehyoon biased but im not istg ace is bias wrecking me 24/7 its been the hardest group to pick a bias in ever im not kidding i cant even
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also known as kang RUDE, chan was all innocent sunshine and daisies until out of the blue he decided to give the disrespect king sehyoon a run for his fucking money. NOBODY FUCKING SAW IT COMING WE ALL THOUGHT HE WAS SO PURE AND THEN HE SUDDENLY STARTED FLASHING HIS ABS EVERYWHERE AND GRINDING ON THE FLOOR AND DOING THAT AND WE JUST CANT HANDLE IT i dont know a kang yuchan please save me oh my lord
okay this already has an ungodly amount of links and honestly i could go on, but this should be a good enough kickstart for you!!
stan talent stan a.c.e everyone. welcome to the choice family. its literally the softest and sweetest fandom out there. we welcome you with open arms and lots of cacti!!!
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strmgrl-blog · 6 years
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my name’s saturn & this is my meme shop ! aaaaah no, really though bonjour angels ! for a lil introduction for myself let me just get this out of the way GIFJDKL uhhh i love aoa, day6 & sm artists ( like .. all of them Help ). a traumatized bitch who loves suffering so i project onto my muses to Cope ! GIAUDFJKL god gdfroijmkl sorry ummm i love star wars & video games ? catch me throwing an ow comp match & feeding in fortnite ! i love the moon, she’s the only thing that keeps me alive. i don’t have a mitochondria, i have lunar force. i have one (1) indoor cat who i birthed & LITERALLY 4 STRAY CATS who appeared from the mist. i run a ratchet vet service from my front porch & it’s free, i should be named human of the year honestly, truly. more on this mess of a muse, hyeon, who ( btw ) is literally my everything ? i’ve had her for quite a long time & lost motivation to write her so i’m changing some shit up to see how it goes & this is the product ! i hope you all enjoy reading this EXTREMELY long intro ( bc it will be very long im so sorry ) & befriend both myself as well as hyeon. & if you’re feelin’ a little extra, like this to plot ! i have a few ideas in mind but they’re all worth brainstorming over bc they’re SHIT. anyway, i love u all so much already ? genuinely a kind community i’m nut & WITHOUT FURTHER ADIEU, here’s hyeon ~  ♥(ノ´∀`)
warning ! trigger warnings ahead possibly including ꞉ child prostitution, drug abuse, child abuse, mental abuse, sexual assault, depression, suicidal thoughts + other mental illness, murder, & probably a fuckton more. read with caution, please.
⌠ BACKGROUND ⌡
so starting with her parents, where all stories begin, let’s just preface by saying these were awful people. they ran in similar circles during school, a very bad one at that, & fell in love after sharing a joint. in their high daze they saw what their mind was conjuring but not the truth about one another. but for them, it had been enough. thus, their story began. it was a very rocky road but they managed to stay together regardless. the bond they had created blossomed as they partook in illegal activities such as petty theft, vandalism, & it slowly evolved into larger problems. 
after hyeon’s mother, named jung eunbi, stole from her parents for the last time she was kicked out into the street with her boyfriend ( who had also been kicked out ) with no place to go. both dropped out of high school as it wasn’t their “””scene””” & took to the dirty streets of busan trying to turn tricks. they’d do anything they could to get some money to feed their addictions. in the midst of their scrambling for what they deemed as important, they never thought to buy protection. so one fateful night after a good steal, they made love on a dingy couch high as a kite & eunbi got pregnant.
she hid the pregnancy for as long as she could from her boyfriend, he only noticed when there was a rather apparent bump under her baggy clothing. with the weight of the realization they might have to force themselves to become a real family, the couple got hitched & attempted to find real jobs. in some miracle, they managed to find a house to live in & eventually “raise” their child in. 
hyeon was born on the 8th of june, on a dark morning with clouds hanging ove the sky & rain starting to pour. she was premature as her mother did drugs during the pregnancy ( which was really no shocker ) & almost was pronounced a still born before they heard the tiny being crying & gasping for air. her parents had assumed that once she was born, they’d feel that parental love that everyone claimed to have but it never came. they stayed in the hospital a total of two days & hardly let their newborn get the help she needed before they hauled ass out of there. 
the first 3 years of hyeon’s life were better than expected, her parents at least tried to take care of her but once she was able to do everything on her own they left her be to pursue their own happiness. honestly think of matilda but a lot more severe ok
she would often get locked in a closet while there were parties held & her parents were too strung out to remember their child. she could spend days in there before she was released. this was only the beginning.
at 8 years old, her father lost his job ( her mother stayed at home ) due to a random drug test & he of course failed. this triggered her parents to panic as they no longer could supply themselves with their so desired highs. so after a night of scheming, they came up with a plan so sinister not even the devil himself would agree.
random men & women began to arrive to their dingy home as hyeon would be ushered into quiet rooms with them where they would pay to do whatever they pleased with the young girl. this went on for 2 years before hyeon was pulled into the principals office at school with questions about where those bruises on her came from. her mom was picked up for possession & this prompted the police to raid their home to find many illegal substances throughout the place as well as evidence of abuse towards the child.
soon after her parents were placed in prison, hyeon was shipped off to seoul to the biggest orphanage in the country. there she stayed for 4 more years. the time there was quiet, nobody asked her about where she came from & she never spoke about it. in truth, she never knew how to as she was a blank mind essentially. 
luckily when she was 15, after a long & strenuous search, hyeon’s grandparents found her & adopted her into their home in daegu. they were absolutely appalled at this shell of a girl, but could only blame her trauma on their own children. it was here that hyeon was loved for the first time in her life ( & possibly the only time ) & taught how to feel something besids fear. she was still horribly inept at processing emotions or showing them.
two years spent with them & one night as hyeon & her grandfather were sat at the family piano, playing & singing a song as her grandmother recorded them in secret. that same video was sent to an entertainment company without hyeon’s knowledge but was thoroughly surprised & equally as excited when she was recruited. only a measly year in training with her 2 group members before they debuted & they were suddenly the biggest gg in sk.
the group debuted under the name of PTL, hyeon’s stagename was now Tink as she accompanied her members in the ride of a lifetime. they were extremely popular with their girl crush yet enticing vocals with miss tink as the main vocalist & maknae. even so successful as to have a world tour ! the group had their differences, hyeon being the medium for them as the other girls were rather opposing forces. often she was put in the middle of their arguing only to run away when conflict came up. during this time she would write & compose her own songs, bringing a heavy soul feeling to the group with her powerhouse vocals.
with all this being said ( which was a LOT ), there is still more. a year after debut while the group was climbing in popularity, hyeon began receiving texts from an unknown number. she soon found out that the people behind the mask were her parents, somehow having managed to be released from prison & found their new mission in life was to harass their daughter. on an october night, after an argument went down within the dorms between hyeon’s two members, the youngest set out by herself to meet those who hurt her for dinner. 
as expected, it went horribly. at this point in her life, she was extremely impressionable, & witnessed how her eonnie handled things which was with a liquor bottle in hand. so, like an idiot, she went to a club by herself to get fucked up. while sitting at the bar, a random man drugged her drink & took hyeon home with him. the night was a blur but when the young woman woke up she felt familiar bruises & a blanket of rage took over. the man was still passed out next to her.
so as she slipped out of his bed & found the nearest blunt object, hyeon managed to bash his skull in. she blacked out after that only to come to with clean hands & far away from the corpse. this was the reactant to lead her to go blind in rage & come to with blood on her hands. soon enough, she took a liking to the feeling & became two people within one while somehow managing to remain anonymous as a killer ran rampant.
earlier this year, after too much shit going on within the group, ptl disbanded & all went their own ways. which hyeon appreciated. the people she had once called her sisters had become like strangers & only cared about themselves, didn’t have the time to look after their maknae. 
to say that her already pre - existing depression & anxiety sky rocketed would be an understatement. she left music for a while, deciding to stream on twitch & youtube as a gamer. it made her happy for a short time but has been planning on returning to music with hints of a solo debut soon that has fans excited.
edit: i forgot to put this in here originally IGJFDKL but she moved to jeju after her group disbanded for a new start. plus, her address somehow got leaked so she uprooted all her shit & left for the secluded island.
⌠ OTHER TIDBITS ⌡
stands at 5′7″, 168 pounds ( considered plus size tbh. one day i’ll put picture references LMAO ), with curly, thick hair & freckles from hell. 
can speak english, japanese, chinese, & italian. has a slight british accent from who she learned english from was from the UK.
has a rottweiler puppy named chewie, a hedgehog named leia, & two cats named opal & hazel. 
voice claim is a mixture of lee haeri, kim taeyeon, park sunyoung, & ailee.
her favorite color is blue, loves the rain, & will 100% be caught standing in the middle of a storm.
is a practicing wiccan ! very much so considers herself a witch.
her favorite drink is strawberry milk, & will eat anything that has strawberries !
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Dating Peter Parker would include
·      Being best friends with him since the first day of freshman year of high school
  You were super nervous all day
·      It was a new school and a new town, so you didn’t know anyone
·      You were about to cry at lunch because you had nowhere to sit
·      But then you see a table at the far end of the lunch room with only two boys and a girl who was farther away from the boys
·      So you decide to sit with the loners
·      The second you place your tray a few feet away from the boys, Ned hits Peter’s arm
·      “New kid.” He says, and Peter is immediately swooning
·      He thinks you’re so cute and he’s so surprised a pretty girl is sitting with them
·      “Keep your voice low” peter says to Ned
·      “Hey, I like your shirt” Ned says immediately after Peter
·      You look up and smile, and Peter dies
·      You’re like the prettiest girl he had ever seen, and Ned can practically see the hearts in his eyes
·      You catch your breath bc holy shit the chestnut haired one is gorgeous
·      “Thank you!” you forced out of your throat
·      Ned starts the conversation, and you pull your tray to sit right in front of them
·      You exchange phone numbers and boom your all best friends
·      At first you’re really nervous around Peter
·      And Ned has to do a lot of convincing in order for him to hang out with you bc he’s so scared of making a fool of himself
·      “Pete, you’re a fool anyway, with or without Y/n.”
·      “Oh, thank you, Ned.”
·      But after you realize you have so many things in common, your nervousness melts away and Ned can barely keep the two of you apart
·      Going over to Peter’s apartment almost everyday
·      Peter face timing you all.the.time
·      Like during the worst moments
·      “Peter I’m doing homework” “Perfect! Me too! What’d you get for number seven?”
·      “Peter, I’m watching a movie.” “Flip the camera around, I wanna watch too.”
·      “Peter I’m on the toilet” “Gross.”
·      Playfully insulting him, resulting in him not speaking to you for about ten minutes
·      Until your mom comes in your room to tell you what’s for dinner
·      “Heyheyhey I wanna come”
·      “I thought we weren’t on speaking terms, Parker”
·      Your mom inviting him over anyway
·      Watching Cody Ko together
·      That’s your thing
·      You’re not allowed to watch a new episode of that’s cringe without one another
·      So whenever a new episode comes out you’re the first one to call
·      “Peter Cody posted another that’s cringe episode, get your ass over here”
·      Him running into your room in less than ten minutes
·      When he got that internship at the Stark Tower he was really distant
·      He wasn’t inviting you and Ned over as much, and was constantly ditching plans
·      It left you really sad bc you really missed him
·      But you were also really happy that he was happy
·      Not really understanding why an internship is leaving him tired and unavailable every second of every day
·      Trying to talk to him about it but he just brushes it off
·      Ned running up to you and Peter in the hallway one day looking way too excited
·      “I got it!!” he practically screams
·      “Got what?” you asked
·      Peter and Ned fangirling even though you have no idea what he’s talking about
·      “The Millennium Falcon lego set!” Peter exclaims
·      “It has over three-thousand pieces!”
·      “Dorks.” You said, even though your heart was swelling over how excited they were
·      Peter insisting you build it at his house that afternoon
·      Only to be waiting for Peter for over three hours in his room
·      So you and Ned decide to build it on your own because screw you Peter Parker
·      It took way too long to build it and tbh you were over it after fifteen minutes
·      But Ned was so excited and you just couldn’t disappoint him
·      It actually turning out to be really fun
·      The two of you high fiving in pleasure after it’s built
·      Admiring the thing you could have sworn was stupid five hours ago
·      Then you notice the window lifting up, and Spider-Man crawling on the ceiling
·      You and Ned being in total shock as he shuts the door and drops to the floor
·      He removes his mask and holy fuck your met with the back of Peter’s head
·      He hits the spider emblem on his suit and it deflates off of him, revealing him in just his boxers
·      And woah he is hot
·      Like damn
·      Absolutely gorgeous
·      Molded by God himself
·      Anyway
·      “Holy-“ and then Ned drops the Millennium Falcon that you had been working on for three.hours.
·      It breaks into like a gazillion pieces and you turn into a mother
·      Like “Well how are you supposed to re-build it now that all the pieces are mixed together? Should’ve been more careful.”
·      But anyway
·      Peter is all flustered bc he’s practically naked right in front of you
·      “You’re the spider-man from youtube” Ned said
·      “No, I’m not.” Pete said, trying to make it seem like he didn’t have a suit at his feet
·      “You were on the ceiling.” You said
·      And you can’t really keep your eyes off him
·      But your also really hurt bc you were supposed to be best friends and how could he not tell you something as big as him being a superhero
·       Ned is completely ecstatic
·      You were smiley but still upset
·      You just weren’t gonna let the boys see it
·      Peter made the both of you pinky promise up, down, and sideways that you wouldn’t tell anyone
·      Helping Peter with his missions
·      Him sending you videos while he’s supposed to be on extremely confidential and dangers missions
·      “Y/n, look! These are the same weapons those guys who robbed the bank used! Oh shoot, I think they saw me-“ and the video just cutting right there
·      Being worried all the time bc if anything happened to Peter you might just die
·      Being slightly jealous of him bc he is a genius
·      “I got a 95. What’d you get?”
·      “100.” Shit.
·      You being the artsy one though
·      Peter coming over to see you hunched over your desk trying to paint something in watercolor
·      You beaming at him when its done, and his heart flutters bc your so damn cute
·      Not to mention your really good at painting
·      Him going with you to the store at 10 o’clock at night bc you spontaneously decided you wanted to get into embroidery
·      “You can’t walk around Queens by yourself at night, Y/n. There’s too many bad people.”
·      “You’re gonna save me from them, Spider-Boy?”
·      “Spider-Man.” He corrected. But you were so happy he worried and cared for you
·      Going back to the store thirty minutes later when you realized you bought sewing thread instead of embroidery floss
·      “What’s the difference?!” you complained all the way there
·      Turns out there’s a huge difference
·      Peter watching a movie as your trying to embroider things
·      Him rubbing your shoulders when you get frustrated that you’re not doing it right
·      “It takes practice, and you’ll get it super quickly. You’re the most amazing person I know at this kinda stuff.”
·      Dying on the inside bc you really wished he was yours
·      Him running into his closet one day bc his backpack of clothes was stolen again and he needed another pair of paints
·      Ripping a pair of jeans off the hanger only to realize you painted sunsets on the back pockets of his favorite jeans
·      Pretending to be upset but really loving them
·      He wears them every day now and never puts them in his backpack
·      Being great friends with MJ
·      As much as you love the boys, it’s really nice having a girl friend to rant to about girl things
·      Her trying to get you to admit your feelings for Peter
·      “It’s the twenty-first century. You don’t need to wait for him to tell you first. You go out there and tell him how you feel. Woman up!”
·      You still being nervous
·      Peter loves your hair
·      Like he loves it
·      It’s really long and he’s always braiding it
·      Or attempting to braid it
·      It’s really funny too bc you could just be hanging out and he’ll ask you if he can brush your hair
·      “You wanna brush…my hair?”
·      “Uh-huh.”
·      “..ok”
·      Him apologizing profusely when he just rakes through a knot
·      “Oww!! Peter!!”
·      “I’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorry”
·      Him coming to your window every time he gets hurt bc he wants you to fawn over him
·      But he also needs medical attention and he doesn’t know where else to go
·      “Damn it Parker” you mutter to yourself as you bandage his cuts
·      Admitting to him how worried you are for him and how scared you are that one day he won’t come back to you
·      As your rambling you accidentally admit that you love him
·      “I don’t know what I’d do if you died, Pete. I love you way too much for that.”
·      His eyes get wide and on the inside bells are ringing
·      Him getting so happy
·      You realizing and sirens going off in your head bc your 100% sure you just ruined your friendship
·      Him grabbing your face and kissing you
·      “I love you too. And I could never die. I’ll always be showing up at your window”
·      Now that you two are together you literally cannot keep your hands off of one another
·      Him always trying to hold your hand
·      He does that corny thing of pretending to place something in your hand, but instead laces his fingers with yours
·      You know what he’s doing each and every time he does it but loving in anyways
·      He has to give you exactly two kisses whenever you go to a different class
·      If your running late and really need to get to class, you’ll kiss him once really quickly and start to run towards your class
·      But he grabs your hand and pulls you into him so he can kiss you one more time
·      And it’s always longer and more passionate than the first one
·      Sometimes if he’s really craving you in between classes he’ll pull you into an empty classroom, press up against the wall and you’d make out for the five minutes you have before the bell goes off again
·      Omg the winks
·      If your eyes meet his, he’ll give you the sexiest wink ever
·      If your across the room and your watching him do something, he’ll catch your gaze and send you a wink
·      And sometimes he’ll bite his lip a little
·      I know, who gave me the right?
·      He gets all protective when there’s another guy looking you
·     and he’s sooo gentlemanly
·      Always holding the door open for you, and never lets you open the car door
·      “I can handle opening a car door, Parker.”
·      “Princess’s never touch door handles.”
·      He always makes sure you’re not walking on the outside of the sidewalk
·      Spending the night at each others house all the time
·      Sometimes whenever he’s out patrolling late at night you wait for him in his bedroom
·      If he doesn’t show up after 11 your more than likely already passed out either on his desk chair, or sometimes he’ll find you on the floor
·      He’ll try to pick you up bridal style but you wake up instantly
·      Except you never fully wake up
·      “Peter?”
·      “Hey, Love. I’m just gonna move you to the bed, go back to sleep.”
·      “No not the bed. There’s too many spiders.” And then you’ll pass out again
·      The first time you did that Peter literally searched his bed for half an hour trying to find those spiders
·      Ending up just sleeping on the couch bc he didn’t want to risk it
·      One night your passed out on his desk chair while youtube is still playing on his laptop
·      He tries to pick you up but you wake up again and when he asks you why you left the laptop on you said “don’t worry its under water”
·      He loves asking you stupid questions when you’re like that bc you give the stupidest answers
·      But sometimes whenever he picks you up you don’t stir, and instead just cuddle into his chest
·      It drives him crazy
·      May doesn’t really mind when you sleep over bc she loves you so much
·      Which since were on the subject lets dive into that for a sec
·      May loves you
·      Like the moment she met you she knew
·      She knew you and Peter were gonna be a thing
·      She always invites you over for game night, movie night, or whenever they go out to restaurants
·      She invites Ned too of course
·      But for you it’s a little different bc you’re the first girl friend Peter has had
·      And first girlfriend
·      She’s like a second mother to you
·      Wow love that
·      Anywho
·      Calling you the oddest nicknames
·      “My sweet bubba bar, come here.”
·      “Oh lemon goose!”
·      “Dear God, Peter, what are you on?”
·      He’s sooo dorky
·      He’s always telling you some science pun that he later has to explain bc you don’t get it
·      “What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics?”
·      “I don’t know.”
·      “Woopea! Get it? Cause he did experiments on pea plants to figure out genetics?”
·      “That one was truly terrible. I need to flush my brain out with water.”
·      You secretly love his jokes though bc he’s so god damn cute
·      He’s Spider-Man (duh)
·      But let’s just think about the fact that he just gains muscle
·      Ok?
·      It’s your sworn duty to tease him about it
·      “Hey, Pete? Can you maybe lift up the apartment building? I think I hid my diary under it.”
·      “Peter! I’m entering you into the Olympics heavy weight contest. How much do you weigh?”
·      “Do you think you could make a statue just by punching marble? Like, most artists use a chisel, but with your strength I think you could just touch the stone and pieces would fall off.”
·      “…I hate you.”
·      But it’s also your sworn duty to fawn over him
·      Running your fingers across his arms whenever your studying in the library
·      Your hands on his abs whenever you make out
·      Not being able to keep your eyes off him whenever his shirt is off
·      Being Spider-Man means something new to him now bc now he’s saving you
·      Of course he’s worried about his aunt and his friends but with you it just feels different
·      So when you get in a car accident and go off the side of the highway its like his mind went completely blank
·      He was just swinging by and happened to witness a car slam into yours
·      Except he doesn’t know you’re in the car right away
·      The car spins across the road and slams into the concrete walls, completely smashing through it
·      The car teeters on the very edge, and in that split second his spider eyes on the mask zoom into the window and he can see you in the backseat with a friend
·      He just sees your face and immediately he goes on auto pilot
·      He can’t react bc he’s too focused on stopping that car from slamming into the ground fifty feet down
·      The car falls off, but Peter already has webs attaching to it.
·      The car is halfway down when he attaches all the webs to a beam holding up the highway
·      The car stops falling and is just hanging by a few threads
·      He knows he has about ten seconds to get everyone out before it starts falling again
·      He’s at the car door in .5 seconds and in .7 he ripped your seatbelt off and pulled you out
·      He can’t fuss over you or even pay attention to you that much bc he has two other people to save
·      And he knows that if he sees your petrified face streaked with tears or worse, injuries, he wouldn’t be able to leave your side
·      He sets you down on the ground before he’s back at the car pulling your friend out
·      When he pulls out the lyft driver the car creaks dangerously and breaks away from the webs
·      The car crashes down the street, but Spider-Man put you and your friend far enough away from the car so no one gets hit
·      Police cars, ambulances, and news vans are already on site
·      Peter can finally let himself be worried and he’s at your side immediately
·      Paramedics are trying to examine you but he won’t let them just yet
·      He has your face in his hands and he’s telling you everything’s gonna be ok
·      You’re so utterly terrified that you can’t really think
·      But you know that your boyfriend is under that mask and you just wanted him to hold you
·      You hug him tightly and sob into his suit
·      The paramedics just leave you alone cause they have two other people to attend to
·      Anyway that day was just wild lol
·      Your terrified of cars now
·      And heights
·      Peter is terrified of not being there to save you
·      Your parents don’t really care when he stays the night anymore
·      Which he does almost every single night now
·      He has his own drawer full of his things
·      It takes a while for you two to get back to normal
·      Homecoming being super fun
·      Dancing with all your friends was great
·      He looked incredibly handsome
·      You looked absolutely gorgeous
·      Peter’s just so happy you’re his
·      I think that’s all I have bc I just wrote wayyyy to much
·      Oh one more thing
·      Where can I get a Peter Parker?
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monbabi · 7 years
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Can you do them reacting to their S/O being good at baking but horrible at cooking?
ofc!! sorry it took so long exams have been kickin my ass
shownu
• u two are baking brownies for the boys since theyve been stressed lately and u wanted to do something nice for them• shownu watches in awe as u expertly pour in and mix the brown batter in the bowl• u always had some kinda magic touch when it came to baking, u knew how much sugar and flour to add in and when to add the vanilla extract• it just made shownu smile bc wow how cute is that ur working ur butt off for some sweet treats for him and his members• “hey (y/n) i’ll take over the stirring can u make eggs or something? i havent eaten all day”• u freeze and give him a smile• “sure”• u hand him the bowl and walk over to the fridge to grab some eggs. easy enough right?• u crack the eggs into the pan, not failing to leave some egg shell in the yolk thats starting to sizzle in the pan• u turn to shownu whos diligently mixing the batter, workin up a sweat • tbh he looks real good• hes totally shirtless, wearing grey sweatpants and to top it off, a cute little pink apron that looks like its gonna bust open at the seams• u lean against the stove, basking in the appearance of this actual adonis in an adorably domestic setting • unfortunately u totally forget that stoves are hot and pull ur hand away as it stings with heat• shownu puts the bowl down and rushes over to u, holding ur hands and blowing frantically at them• “babe are u okay?” he asks worriedly, his eyes watching ur reaction closely to see if ur in any great pain• u reassure him “im fine” until u hear the beeping of the fire alarm• “oh my GOD”• u turn around to see the pan totally covered in SMOKE and shownu switches the stove off • ur kinda upset that u cant even make eggs for ur boyfriend but shownu just chuckles and kisses ur forehead• “next time i’ll cook okay?”
wonho
• “baby are u hungry?” wonho comes into ur shared room where ur sitting in bed on ur phone. he wraps his arms around ur waist and nuzzles his nose into ur neck• u smile at the sensation. “mm kinda? what do u wanna eat?”• he gives u a knowing smile and u sigh and get up from the mattress• “ramen?”• he smiles and takes a hold of ur hand, stroking ur index finger with his thumb • u know me so well"• the two of u chase each other to the kitchen and u grab the very familiar plastic bowl labelled shin ramen • u rip off the lid and unlock the hot water dispenser, filling the bowl to an unsteady level where the water is teetering around the edges. u put the bowl in the microwave and punch in 50 seconds• all seems well until u hear some popping noises from inside the microwave• “um. babe”• “yea?” u ask, too scared to turn around and see what happened inside the microwave• “did u take out the sauce packet before adding water and putting it in there?”• “oh my g-”• BEEP• wonho moves u out of the way and opens the microwave, his face contorting at the smell of burning plastic and the sight of ramen sauce power all over the inner surface. some soup flowed over the top too• u laugh nervously, put ur hand over wonhos, and close the microwave. u head over to the fridge and take out a plate• “how about we eat the macarons i made yesterday?” u give a sheepish smile• a smile creeps onto his face and a goofy laugh escapes his lips. ur hysterically laughing and he’s bent over his knees, so thoroughly amused by ur antics• “man i dont know how u do it. but yea i’ll take a macaron” he opens his mouth. u pop one into his mouth and he chews then hums with delight• “these are so good??? what happened just now? are u the same (y/n) i know and love?”• u two laugh again and he puts u in a playful headlock and plants kisses on the top of ur head
minhyuk
• u got a text earlier that ur boyfriends gonna come home late so u wanna surprise him with a nice meal• u can bake a mean cake but ur not too confident about ur cooking abilities• but u’ve baked minhyuk so many cookies and cakes and cupcakes ur worried for that boys blood sugar• so after watching 3 youtube tutorials u try to make kimchi stew, one of his favorites• u roll up ur sleeves and get to work. u throw some broth and vegetables into the pot• u cut some kimchi then some fishcake some spring onions u get the pork out of the fridge• u think its going well • until u get a text from minhyuk that he’s on the way home• according to ur calculations he was supposed to be coming home late• shit• u do some quick math if u boil the stew at maximum heat for 2 minutes u’ll finish in time before minhyuk gets home so u crank that stove up and • KACHOW the pot overflows• soup is everywhere, the kimchi is on the floor, ur kitchen looks like a natural disaster• “honey! where are u???”• he comes into the kitchen sweaty from practice and ur just on the floor crying next to ur empty pot, food is scattered around the floor• “oh baby what happened?” he cooes at u and crouches down next to u, wiping ur tears with his thumb• u barely manage to get a sentence out• “i-i tried to cook u” u hiccup, “something but e-everything just fell apart” • he kisses u on the forehead and stands up to grab his phone• “well i like pizza. how about we order some pizza and we watch kitchen nightmares yea?” u flinch at kitchen nightmares. “okay how about we watch house hunters” u nod frantically and smile• totally ignore the mess on the floor• u clean it up eventually dont worry
kihyun
• u made a deal with minhyuk that at the next house party u were gonna cook something to bring and kihyun was gonna bake a cake to bring along with the food u made and in return he was gonna make a video of himself flicking a booger and post it on instagram• the problem? minhyuk knows u cant cook for shit and kihyun cant bake for shit • kihyun originally protested saying “he doesn’t want his house to end in flames” but after minhyuk kept egging him on saying he was a wuss, he threw on his apron and started reading martha stewart books• so u and him are in ur kitchen, face in hands and sitting at the counter• “why did i agree to this”• “why did i let u agree to this”• u sigh and slide off the stool. “i mean i can make like, fried rice right?” kihyun groans. “knowing u it might result in a call to 911” u shoot him a glare. “hey bobby flay at least i know how to bake a cake”• he scratches his head and gets off the stool. “how about we make this a competition between ourselves. whoever makes the better dish wins”• “ur on yoo kihyun”• its like iron chef u two start scrambling around ur kitchen, opening cabinets and packages • u lift the lid of the rice cooker and groan in frustration as u see a clean, empty container• kihyun indulges himself in a shrill giggle until it abruptly stops when he’s opened the last cabinet and found no cake mix• “u’ve got to be kidding me” • u hover over the grey pot, finally shutting off the faucet when the rice grains look like they’re drowning in tap water • kihyun’s throwing sugar, flour, and eggs into a bowl, trusting his “chef’s intuition” that he doesn’t need measuring cups for a mere cake• u throw the soggy rice into the pan and just start adding stuff u think will taste good together in there. zucchini, bits of kale, ketchup, leftover chicken that probably has been sitting in ur fridge for at least 2 weeks • it smells pretty goddamn awful but when u look over at kihyun u think u have a good shot at winning• he’s gotten green food coloring all over his hands and t-shirt and the batter’s completely runny• “how u doin ogre there”• “im never doing this ever again”
hyungwon
• u two are laying on opposite sides of the couch, sitting up to show each other dog pictures and whatnot• u see a video on instagram showing u how to make this yummy looking beef over rice thing• u lean over hyungwons knee, excitedly showing him the video and how u should make it for him• he gives u this knowing look • “(y/n) do u remember the last time u cooked something?”• “no why”• “i was taking a nap and u tried to make this weird chicken thing u saw on youtube”• “uh huh”• “and when i walked into the kitchen”• “yea?”• “i have never seen so much fire-”• u playfully slap him on the thigh, pouting. “i forgot to turn the stove down while it was boiling!!!” u huff, turning away while crossing ur arms• hyungwon laughs and sits up to ruffle ur hair• “but u made it up by baking cupcakes to give to the very nice firemen who saved our apartment”• u giggle and bring ur knees up to ur chin, reminiscing in the time u almost burned down ur entire apartment complex• hyungwon sits crosslegged facing u, staring at ur face• “what?”• “im just wondering how the hell u managed to do that”• “no cupcakes for u then”• he whines and the two of u share a laugh and settle back into the sofa to continue laughing at twitter memes
jooheon
• he never fails to send u a text asking if u’ve eaten yet and if ur free, to go out and get lunch together• its the sweetest thing and u decide u wanna do something nice for him• so u roll up ur sleeves and make a lunchbox for him. its kinda childish but it seems easy to make and for ur……limited cooking skills, its ideal• ur in the kitchen, scraping an egg off the pan as it burns to a crisp• “aw man that was the last egg,” u whine, looking at all the failed prototypes on a plate next to the stove• u begrudgingly roll up the burnt egg in the lunchbox and set up some lettuce on the side, trying to make it presentable at least• now time for the Meat• the last time u cooked meat was when u and jooheon were out eating kbbq and whenever the tongs were in ur hand u’d somehow toss the meat in a way that cooked it. lets say well overdone• jooheon had to call a worker to get the fire down even tho it was at its lowest heat. nobody on the restaurant knows how u did it• so yea ur not the best at cooking meat but hey second times the charm• so u slide the beef into the pan, satisfied with the sizzling sound that came after• now the hard part. knowing when to flip it so it doesnt slowly burn into charcoal. so u just keep flipping it mindlessly, too scared to let it burn• the beef is just NOT turning the brown that it usually does when jooheon cooks it and u settle for when the beef is a weird brown, pink, red—u dont even know what color it is but its 12:30pm and jooheons lunch break is about to start• u shrug as u pack the lunchbox. u made cookies before this mess so• u drive up to the building complex and climb up the stairs to his studio. u punch in the passcode and pop the door open• jooheon hears the door click and turns around in his chair, giving u that sweet dimpled smile • u show him the lunchbox and bag of cookies u’ve been hiding behind ur back and he opens his arms to bring u into a hug• “how did i get so lucky?” he kisses the top of ur head and sits u down on his lap• he turns the chair around and u place the lunchbox and the cookie bag on his desk in front of his monitor and open it• he has to stop himself from laughing, the corners of his lips trembling to rise into a smile. u flick him on the arm, a smile growing on ur own face. “shut up i tried my best!!!!!”• jooheon kisses ur temple, a small chuckle leaving his lips still dumbfounded by the mess of food in the lunchbox• “i made cookies?” u suggest• “yea we can share those” jooheon closes the lunchbox
changkyun
• u guys ate out at this one restaurant that had really good pork stir fry• so naturally u two went to the internet and searched up recipes to cook at home, inspired by the dish• after finding a seemingly easy recipe online, u and changkyun head to the kitchen and grab whatevers in ur fridge• oh by the way its 1 in the morning so theres no supermarkets still open • it sounded like a good idea at the time• anyways u two are jus rummaging through ur kitchen, substituting whatever needs to be substituted• “hey kyun we’re outta sugar”• “we have lucky charms”• “that works” • u and him lay out the shabby ingredients on the counter• pork? eh leftover hot wings should do• bok choy? iceberg lettuce thats been sitting in ur fridge for 3 months• but at least u have soy sauce• u start choppin up the lettuce, slicin and dicin and ignoring whatever wilted leaves u see bc hey food is food• changkyun: hey how do i start the stove• “…….ur kidding right”• u put down ur knife and walk to the stove, hesitant to turn any knobs• “um its this one right?”• u switch on the stove on the inner right corner which seemed fine to u…….until the roll of napkins next to it caught fire• “HOLY SH-” “HOLY SHIT”• the fire alarm starts beeping and u freak out and start blowing on it until changkyun shoves his hand into ur face. “DONT BLOW ON IT ITLL GET BIGGER” • “WHAT DO WE DO THEN”• luckily ur dating the son of a scientist so he grabs a pot lid from the cabinet underneath and throws it on top of the fire, stopping the flow of oxygen and u hear the sizzle of ur bounty napkins • u and changkyun breathe out a relieved sigh and u lean on him• u suggest making cookies tomorrow and changkyun insists on putting lucky charms in them• u roll ur eyes, “yea yea whatever lets clean up and go to bed”
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adoringjensen · 7 years
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So how long did you/have you been crying? It took me a good 45-50 minutes to stop. And I'm still gonna cry in school tomorrow
so last night was kinda,,,weird for me. I reached my post limit right when That Scene happened, and I was so confused at first bc that’s literally never happened to me before. So I ended up just kinda sitting there staring at the tv in disbelief and felt really numb. I actually felt like,,, better than I would have expected, especially considering how I’ve reacted to finales in the past. (I couldn’t even watch the s9 or s10 finale until a couple weeks after it aired bc I just knew it was gonna fuck me up too much). But last night, I kinda skipped the whole hysterical crying part and went straight into dissociation. But it was kinda touch and go, too. It really fucken hurt and overall, I think I’ve just been super frustrated and honestly kinda bitter. At this point, I think we should really be over the whole using death for Shock Value. The characters deserve better than that and so do we as an audience and fandom. It’s just. It’s frustrating, man. 
And though my mind tells me everything will be fine by next season, my body doesn’t know that. The feelings are still very real and it still very much hurts. And the fact that we have an entire hiatus to wait to find out what happens just adds to the anxiety of it all. That’s such a shitty way to end a season, like what the fuck. Yeah it adds drama and suspense and gets ppl hyped to find out what happens next, which draws in viewers. But my dude,,, after 12 years of this shit, it gets tired. I certainly don’t like to see an onscreen death of one of my favorite fucking characters of all time. I feel like a majority of this fandom was founded on being there for each other when needed, because a lot of us do struggle with mental health issues. So when people with severe anxiety and/or depression see something like that?? In this universe they immerse themselves in to escape their own shitty reality?? That fucking sucks. It can be pretty triggering, actually. 
And because I hate myself so much, I rewatched the two episodes last night and cried throughout both this time lmao. I think because I watched with my parents the first time, I knew I had to keep myself pretty composed. So I just internalized it and didn’t let the tears fall. And today, I woke up feeling anxious and shitty bc all of this just kinda added to things going on in my own mind. So much so, that I didn’t even go to work this morning. 
The thing is that everyone feels things differently. I have to constantly remind myself of this, because I tend to feel things pretty intensely. I’m kinda on that severe end of the spectrum with everything,,, like sounds are extra loud to me. Touching can put me really on edge if too many things are touching me at once, like it really frays at my nerves. My tastebuds are extra sensitive to certain tastes. My nervous system is just extra sensitive, and I only found this out about myself fairly recently. So this has kinda given me an explanation as to why I’m so sensitive and feel everything the way I do. And having that explanation really helps me with trying to accept that about myself. 
So when things like this happen, I try really hard to convince myself it’s okay that I’m feeling this way. It’s okay that this upsets me and I’m crying about it. It’s hard as all fuck, but I’m still trying. And it doesn’t help when people say things like, “oh you’re just wound up, you’re fine.” I really take what people tell me and say about me to heart, so things like that really knock me down on my ass. But I’m doing okay, and I try to find outlets of distraction to get me through it. Something that really helps me is watching Jenna Marbles and Julien Solomita on youtube :) Julien’s vlogs are my favorite, they’re just like,,, super comforting somehow. And Julien and Jason livestreamed on twitch last night after I had finished rewatching the finale, so I watched that for a while and was able to get to sleep because of it. 
Wow, I’m not quite sure where I was going with all this or how I even got here, but. I hope it doesn’t bother you that I did. Writing things out really helps me too, it makes things feel more real to see it all written down, you know? So although I know you probably didn’t expect such a long, serious answer like this, I just want you to know that being sad and being frustrated over what happened is okay. And I hope that resonates with anyone out there who might feel ashamed/guilty/foolish/etc of what or how they’re feeling. I know that this is something I really struggle with, and I want people to know they’re not alone in that. It’s okay to cry in school. It’s okay to really feel things. It’s who you are, it’s the way you’re made. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise to make you feel worse. Don’t let someone tell you how you’re feeling. Chances are, they really don’t understand what your mind is telling you or how your body is reacting. Only you know yourself best.
Phew okay, I’m gonna stop now. I’m sorry for all of this, holy shit. I just,,, needed to kinda get it out bc everything has just been TOO MUCH lately. So anyway, I hope you’re doing okay today anon :) The thing about this fandom is that there will always be someone around to support you. And in vulnerable times, sometimes we need a little extra support. And that’s okay xx
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